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painting-warhammer · 19 days

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C’Tan Shard of the Deceiver in the style of Sonichu (CWC)

I lied. This is my favorite figure. Commentary under cut.

#1: Rule Number One Is That You Gotta Have Fun

The other two figures I painted had ups and downs--days genuinely ruined and many frustrated moments where I just hated everything about this hobby and everything I was making. I'm sure this is no strange feeling to any artist, but since I kinda gave up on art over a decade ago only to pick this up after that decade, it really felt like that heartbreaking moment of making something that you know was bad and not improving fast enough.

I never had that for one second while painting Sonichu. I honestly giggled to myself a lot when I worked on him. When something fucked up (note how I didn't make as good of a glowing effect on the eyes) I just took that as "Well, that's just me being accurate to the original art." When something went well, I learned something that I would be able to apply in the future. If you look closely at the quills and the chest, you'll see that this was the first time I tried edge highlighting to get more of a good lighting effect. On top of that, I just used Baharroth Blue without a base paint, but rather as a base paint that I later darkened with a Tyran Blue shade wash for the creases in the sash. I did the same for the skin near on his abs and arms. (I should have made them blue. Damn.)

I also didn't get so bogged down in being accurate to the inspiration, or became better at knowing what to pick and choose. For example: Sonichu doesn't have a sash, of course. Instead, I decided to go with the color of the banner in Issue #0.

There was a point I briefly considered learning how to actually make a decal, then taking the title to be plastered on the front of the model, but I decided against it. I even considered some yellow streaks to give him a bit of a glow, but if you look at the base you'll see some of the experimental wetblending I tried (and would hypothetically cover later) and it just didn't look good.

Also the feet. Sonichu does have a distinct color for his shoes, but I just shrugged and figured it was more correct to just keep it in line with his hands on the model. I made the hands in the hideous style of the Bad Trailer Sonic, and figured the feet would probably follow the same principle. Besides, the sash had enough blue as it is.

#2: Rule Number Two - Just Don't Get Attached, Too

I said I had fun at all stages painting Sonic'hu, and I meant that. The painting part, that is. Gluing was a disaster.

If you're new to the hobby, understand this: Older models, things from the 90's or earlier, are produced using a plastic resin. It's very light gray (left) while the newer stuff has a dark gray tint and is made with a different kind of plastic.

Now Citadel sells ONE (1) glue, pictured to the left. It's a very good glue for the DARK GRAY plastic. It looks like this. Some people use the one on the right, but the listing on Amazon is apparently sketchy as hell and comes empty because they can scam you out of your money since you can't return or refund liquids. So I never fw it; if I encounter it in a hardware store or hobby shop, I'll pick it up and give it a shot.

This is all to ultimately say that in spite of Citadel selling only ONE KIND OF GLUE, that ONE GLUE cannot hold light gray resin figures together AT ALL.

I don't have pictures, but God was it frustrating. Sonic'hu would CONSTANTLY fall apart while drying. I would be holding his arm in place; the head would fall off. His spines would fall off. He'd flop over on his base. Even after priming him, his arm fell off again, and you can see his face is a mess of when my fingers were just covered and glue and I was just holding him in place frustratedly. I tried like three different glues (not including Tamiya, but Krazy Glue was one) and I don't remember which one worked.

However, whether Tamiya works or not, I actually did have to go back to resin on a different figure recently. I went through my old man's drawer and found this.

It's unreal how good this is. Put this on resin, and the plastic itself comes apart easier than the glue does. It also works okay on the dark gray figures, but I've had the odd part come undone and I went back to the Citadel Glue.

Fair warning though--I'm praising this version of Loctite specifically. There are a few varieties, and I can't say much as far as their quality, but I read online that the ones with an extra long cap tend to dry out and be unopenable later. This Gel Control version doesn't give me any problems like that, though.

#3: Rule Number Three - Wear Your Heart On Your Cheek

My only regret is not going harder with this.

There were some gemstones at the bottom of this model and I literally don't remember what happened to them. I was going to paint them like Chaos Emeralds, originally. Then I saw a paint job of the model that had stones encircling the C'tan Shard like he was making them rise up Dragonball style, and the thought came to mind to get little Chaos Emerald replicas to look as though they were orbiting him. (Unfortunately, Etsy pretty much only had them in a set size, and though Sonic'hu was the largest figure I'd worked on, he was too small to have those orbiting around him.)

I also wanted to learn how to model with Green Stuff using this model; there was a point where I considered making the actual sneakers, but more importantly the Pikachu ears and the one additional spine to bring it up to six total. I didn't not want to do that when I bought it, actually, but after the glue had settled after so much effort I was utterly sick of the prep phase and just went straight to painting.

There's also a little Necron that is at the base of the C'Tan that I also haven't painted, but the reason for that is that I am considering how to do the CWC's "The Classic" shirt on his rib cage. I keep waiting for the inspiration to strike.

So that's Sonic'hu. Honestly, having a shitpost figure was something that helped me be a little less afraid of failure and take chances, make mistakes, and get messy. I would resume tryharding by the next figure, and ultimately paint, in my opinion, my best figure yet.

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aita-blorbos · 1 month

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AITA for not sealing a box correctly?

So, I started working for a shady company recently. I didn't really want to work here, but they paid us really well for some reason? Anyways. My employers told me that they have a manual and encyclopedia for the job, but it's like, 1k pages long. For both. I really couldn't be bothered to read it, so I skipped it.

Part of the job is collecting energy, and the energy is made from these big boxes/containers in the facility. I don't know what's in these boxes, but the veteran employees have STRONGLY advised not to look into them unless you have clearance LVL 3 or more. So, I've never really bothered with them.

So, earlier today I was tasked with transporting one of these boxes to the Control Unit. On the box it said something along the lines of "... Bird", and I didn't think it'd be a problem because that's what our manager ordered. I also saw that it was partially unsealed, but I thought the guys who were picking it up would be chill with it and seal it for me since I don't have my tools on me.

However, when I handed off the box to the veterans, they were like "wait a minute, we already have two of these guys" and they started panicking for some reason. I was like "well dang, can't you just return the package?" and they looked at me really funny.

They told me to go tell the manager, and I thought it was weird but I went. I told the manager that there were already two of these packages, and he was like "oh it'll be fine as long as they're sealed so they can't break out" and I was like "excuse me? what?" and then I realized that I really should've read the manual.

First of all, the "boxes" I was talking about earlier are actually containment units that contain monsters(?). Second, these monsters are very prone to killing people. Third, these three aforementioned bird-monsters are prone to escaping at the same time, and guess who didn't seal one of their boxes correctly?

So, we've got three dangerous monsters running around the facility at the same time. That wouldn't be so bad if these three monsters didn't merge into one giant monster that, to EVERYONE'S knowledge, cannot be injured or contained at all. Fuck.

Everyone is freaking out and some people are trying to run, but our manager put the whole place on lock down so we can't leave. We're all gonna die here. I'm in a room with some other poor guys and we've barricaded the doors, but I don't think that's gonna help us.

I guess my question isn't "oh shit am I a bad person for not knowing things that the veterans and manager did", it's more like "could I have prevented this with my limited knowledge and actually sealed the box before any of this happened?"

I don't think I'm gonna live long enough to see the results, but I will leave you with some takeaways before I die:

Go with your gut and nope outta there if the job seems sketchy.

Ask questions about the job and read employee reviews (If applicable.)

Read the NDA / contract thoroughly before you start working.

Read the employee handbook / manual before you start working.

Seal your boxes and containment units correctly, and always double-check them too.

For the love of God, don't work fo

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi · 7 months

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Okay I’m gonna rant about Haven.

This little town has a secret where there are many people who have these powers. Some are useful, but most of them are just curses. Nathan is one of the main guys, and he cannot feel anything. As in, he gets punched and cannot feel pain. Or softness. Nothing. There’s people that are like. Part fish and one lady who ever piece of food she touches turns into cake. There’s another guy who when he plays music, it makes people flip sanity? So like it makes sane people manic and people who have psychosis sane.

Also, these troubles run in families. (Side eyes Hilton awkwardly yes this is where I got that idea)

But the thing is, the main girl, Audrey, is a Special Agent with the FBI. She gets to this town on accident, and finds a photo in the newspaper from the 50’s that looks like her. Exactly like her. She’s an orphan, so she decides to stick around town to see if she can locate her family.

But also. The troubles don’t affect her.

Nathan can feel her touch. Mind control doesn’t work on her. Nothing affects her. So they’re trying to figure out why and what the actual FUCK is going on in this crazy town.

Okay now spoilers below the cut so I can talk about one of my FAVORITE MEOW MEOWS EVER:

DUKE. I fucking love Duke so so so much! He lives on a houseboat and has a very… checkered past. Lots of crime and sketchy friends he can call upon when needed😊. But also will do absolutely anything for his friends. Or strangers. Or fuck it even his enemies.

Okay okay okay so here’s the best part. Duke doesn’t have any “troubles” aka he doesn’t have any visible curses. As the seasons go on, he gets one.

If he kills someone that is “troubled”, he kills the trouble. For the entire family. It’s wiped permanently. Forever.

And there’s some bad ones.

Like a family that when they cry, people die. A family that hunger for human blood. A family that peel the skin off of others and parade around looking like them.

And if Duke kills their elderly grandfather, it all goes away. The little babies don’t get it. Their entire family tree is saved, forever.

But Duke still has to kill them in cold blood.

And it fucking tears him up inside every. Single. Time.

The BETRAYAL on his face when Audrey asks him to kill someone terrorizing the town??? The way his hands shake after, covered in blood??? The way he covers it up with jokes and jabs but snaps when Nathan pushes too hard??? The way Nathan lets Duke beat the crap out of him for stress relief???

The way he feels himself start to slip and get addicted to it? When it doesn’t bother him as much anymore?

When he starts to offer?

Fuck.

#haven #goddamn this show is so GOOD #sobbing crying over Haven #this show explains so much about me lmao #dhdhdhhdhshshshsjjdjfjjfjd

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daydadahlias · 1 year

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16, 17, 20, 40🗿, 44, 56 for the writer game :D

how are u today?

why thank u for asking <33 im very curious abt this little face emoji and cant wait to figure out the reasoning when I go look at question 40. also i'm great! I finished my sophomore year today!! summer and fanfic here i come <3

from this ask game <3

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

oh too many. always too many. literally cannot even count the amount of docs in my google drive. i'm trying to focus on MiM right now but there's this fucking weird mashton fic tentatively called Sweet Tea I want to write at some point that's about Ashton owning a rodeo. it's like... subversive sugar daddy.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

talk to friends! If I'm really struggling with something I'll hop on over to someone (usually Ashley these days <3) and say "hey, do you have any ideas for this?" Or, sometimes, I just like to talk through things and I'll solve my own problems by just discussing them w/ someone!! Molly and Crystal especially are great sounding boards <3

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

yeah, to be honest I think if you've read all my stuff, you'll notice I'm a bit of a one trick pony. I reuse the same lines, the same style, over and over again. I say "just" a lot and "well" and "made to love" and stuff like that. My dirty talk is basically the same in every fic lol. I incorporate writing/theatre into a lot of fics as well! And I'm a whore for some violent imagery. Like the whole "it's so BLANK it hurts." Usually it's shit, like, "it feels like home so much it hurts." I love describing love as being painful <3

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

hehe ok now i know what the little rock guy is for. well, I'll just say that fanart is literally the nicest thing ever and I dont think I will ever have enough words to accurately express just how much I love receiving stuff for fics. getting art/moodboards/edits is just a whole other level and something I never really considered I would get when I first started writing fanfic. and I have a little folder on my computer where i save every moodboard / piece of art anyone's ever made me for a fic bc it's a really really beautiful thing I'll never take for granted. As for specific stuff... uHhh. I don't know!! I can say that I always love black and white style the most and, like, sketchy stuff. I don't know, my favorite thing is seeing what people choose to draw / make!! i wanna know what readers like; it doesnt really matter what I like. <3

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

most of my mistakes are html formatting. and, then, grammar stuff is usually just, like... I happen to look over it. i swear i know grammar you guys i do it for a living :sob: but sometimes it sneaks through the cracks. im also an overwriter by nature.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

oo my dialogue. I think I make people talk like people and that shit is hard to do. because my dialogue used to be <33 really really bad <33 so there's definite improvement. I think you can see it just between my earlier fics and now tbh. I've definitely improved as I've kept writing!!

#pigeon #io #thank u for asking so many i luv speaking #sorry i cant give u anything concrete for the fanart question #i just dont know!!#i like sketchy stuff and slice of life #like the one you did at the bean was literally my DREAM style of fanart #the stuff that could actually exist within the world of the fic #a long time ago Miki drew me luke's copy of The Normal Heart #like put some little doodles/notes on it #and tbh that was everything to me #yeah it's stuff like that <33

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topazadine · 2 months

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Gas Station Rankings

This is not an exhaustive list (unfortunately) because frankly I haven't visited every single gas station company in America. I know it will sadden people not to see Buc-ee's represented but I can't describe something I haven't experienced yet

Sheetz

Blessed Sheetz. Food is delicious, stores are always incredibly clean, always have a bunch of weird shit I don't need

Love's

Hands down the best truck stop for a very important reason: most of the locations have a dog park :) but they also have incredibly clean bathrooms and their packaged food options are great

All-Time

Met this strange man who promised me eternal youth, and when I said no, the store radio started to play "How to Save a Life" by The Fray, which was interesting. Also had really fresh pineapple fruit cups. That was years and years ago, so maybe it's changed, though?

Pilot

Not quite as good as Love's, but I have never had a poor experience here. It's just meh, though not meh enough that I don't remember visiting

QuickRide

Not bad, per se, but there was an odd animal lurking around behind the back of the store, and when I looked directly at it, I got this horrible headache before it suddenly bolted off on two legs laughing just like my PE teacher from fifth grade

Casey's

Casey's is only this high up on the list because I grew up in middle-of-nowhere Illinois so I have fond memories of here. Also their pizza is really good and simply cannot be replicated anywhere else

True North

Always only has one cashier working, and for some reason, every single location has the exact same guy working and he always greets by name and asks if I've found what I'm looking for yet. Rather ominous

7/11

Not every single one is a gas station of course, but those that are ... okay I guess

Forgettable, can't ever remember going in and having any sort of experience

Vilago

Very forgettable, every time I go in I fill my tank up, then go inside to get a snack or whatever, but as soon as I pay I find myself back on the highway and don't remember even getting back in my car, and there's a strange scent in the car like burnt cinnamon that takes AGES to dissipate

Travelcenters of America

Some of them are a little sketchy and dingy, but it's not terrible, I have seen worse

Citgo

Huge differences in quality amongst different Citgos, like some do not have bathrooms and some just have packaged food and nothing else

Maverik

CREEPY! Every location I have been to has been CREEPY! Also they don't have bathrooms a lot of the time which is so annoying

Ridealong

I could have gone forever about different gas stations and their bathrooms and so on, but now that I'm thinking about Ridealong, it's all I can think about. That one experience.

I should have kept driving. I knew there was a Love's at the next exit but I really needed to go to the bathroom, and I'd also just gotten a text that I wanted to check (no texting and driving ever), so I decided to risk it.

The exterior was ... strange. It looked like it had been scavenged from a bunch of other gas stations, like the gas station overhang thing was clearly from Mobile, but a few of the pumps looked to be from a BP, though the yellow icon had been scratched off. Still kept the green sheathing though. All lit up in the middle of the night, it looked even stranger, all these discordant colors mixing into one another like a giant warning sign. If only I had listened.

The gas smelled off. I know, gas generally smells pretty bad, but it smelled ... sweet. Sickly sweet. I have no idea what leaded gasoline smelled like (am not that old) but I can't imagine it would smell like death. Yes of course gasoline is made from dead dinosaurs but this smelled like fresh death. Cloying and stinging. I had to cover my nose.

Really, this should have been a sign, but the gas was still pumping and I don't know how to shut it off, so I stood there, miserable, not wanting to get back in my car for fear of sparking - especially when the gas smelled like that.

No trash at all. Immaculate. The paving, too, was far too new, as if it had been laid yesterday. No potholes, not even a splash of gas or coolant on the ground. Though the gas pumps were clearly old and scavenged, they looked too fresh, like they'd just come from the factory. Different factories, of course, but all the same date.

I leaned in and tried to see if there was that usual sticker you see on all the gas pumps that said they were checked by some official or whatever, but I couldn't read the language. Not that it wasn't English, I just couldn't read it - like it just morphed in front of my eyes every time I tried to understand it. Maybe I really was just overtired.

Of course the sunk cost fallacy. I was already at the gas station, I might as well go in and get my potty break done because I felt like I was absolutely bursting. I'd been driving for quite a few hours and had been living off Red Bull. I couldn't even remember what state I was in, only that I was still somewhere in the Appalachians, nestled in a valley with the mountains penning us in on all sides. The air beyond the dead gas smelled cold and fresh and menacing, the pine trees indifferent to my presence, to my fears. I heard no animals, and there were no leaves on the ground.

I checked my texts but my phone was off, and I didn't remember turning it off. After all, I'd been using it for navigation the whole time, plugged into my adapter, and it should have been at 100%. I turned it back on and tried to check my texts, but was immediately hit with that obnoxious Amber Alert buzz we all hate. When I looked at the Alert, it said it was for Ohio, which I supposed made sense - it's all Ohio, right? Haha. Maybe I was just picking up what I should be getting at home.

But then I looked at it and recognized my license plate. IUY-7823. 2021 Green Honda Civic Type R. What the fuck? I certainly hadn't abducted any children - I don't even like them.

I kept reading, fingers shaking, as it described the victim. "7 year old white female, blonde hair, 3ft tall, 39 pounds."

Well, I sure as hell wasn't a 7 year old child, given that I was driving a motor vehicle. Nor had I kidnapped any kid that looked just like me when I was 7. Nor had I wanted to remember that one time with a gas station and a strange man smoking a cigarette, who told me I'd lost something and he'd help me find it. I'd run away back to my mom right away - at least I think that's what I did - now everything from that time seemed so strange and dizzy-making. I felt a little sick. I needed the bathroom really badly.

Shaking and putting my phone back into my purse, I stumbled into the door and yanked it open. It beeped, like most gas station doors do, and I didn't even notice anything as I glanced frantically for the bathroom sign. There was one, but it only showed one sign: for men. I'm not a man, but I'm a girl who really needs to pee, so I just prayed it was single stall and booked it there.

The floor felt sticky. The whole store smelled sickly. That scent of death, like a deer left to rot in a field that throws up its perfume from beyond the veil to remind us what comes for us all in the end. I thought of flies. There was an odd buzzing in my ears, deep down in them, a tinnitus I'd never had before. I prayed that some stupid song would come on the radio and drown it out, but everything was buzzing. Buzzing lights, buzzing refrigerators, buzzing flies coming for me and all that I loved.

I ran to the bathroom, but of course it was locked. Not even caring about propriety, I banged on the door and begged for whoever was in there to hurry the hell up. There was no one else there: it seemed like no one else had been there forever, though the store was perfectly clean. It was just a feeling of emptiness. The store had been there forever, in exactly the same position, with exactly the same gas, since it was copy-pasted from whatever hellish universe had spit it up.

The cashier counter was empty. Everything was empty. I couldn't prove it, but I sensed that all those containers in the aisles, all those drinks in the refigerator, had never been filled in the first place. A trap to entice tired travelers who need food and a bathroom and some sign that there is something beyond the highway hypnosis, beyond the empty roads long since drained of people this late in the night.

Finally the bathroom door opened, so slowly. The lights were off inside, and I stepped aside to let whoever was in there out, doing a potty dance like you do when you really have to go. I felt like I'd die if I didn't go within seconds.

Then the light flicked on. I remembered that face. I knew that man. That was the man from every single True North I'd ever seen. A forgettable face unless you see it dozens of times over your life, from age 7 and on, every few weeks or months or years, never changing, never growing, never doing anything but staring at you and asking if you've found what you're looking for. I can't even describe it now. Salt-and-pepper hair, brown eyes, too-large lips, and that's it. That's all I know.

He stared at me for a moment, then smiled. His teeth were off: too white for his face. Too even. Too many of them.

"Ya find what you looking for?"

Suddenly I did not need the bathroom anymore. I felt it gushing down my leggings, a long spigot of utter terror and disorientation. I stood there, drenched in my own piss, looking at him. I wasn't 7 years old anymore, and apparently he had enough manners not to smoke inside the store. But my mom wasn't here to help me. No one could save me from this man, who would certainly finish whatever he'd tried to do all those years ago.

I slipped on my own pee as I ran, but thankfully braced myself with one of the empty-packaged store displays, which went crashing down. Bright yellow bags of air burst to show no potato chips, and a box of what was meant to be Cheezits collapsed when its glue finally came free.

A trap. A trap. True North pointed to this man, this man who wanted to take me on the last Ridealong of my life.

He didn't try to grab me or anything; perhaps he knew it hadn't worked this time. Instead, he grabbed a mop and chuckled.

"Cleanup in Aisle 6."

I started laughing as I fled, that hysterical laughter you get when everything has come crashing down and you find out your whole life has been orchestrated by forces beyond your control. I slammed the door open and ran to my car, the only one resting on the perfect pavement that looked too fresh to ever be laid down. I'd locked my car, so I tried to get to my keys, but dropped my purse on the ground and shortly followed it, scrabbling and crying in my piss-drenched leggings and smeared makeup.

There were all these candy wrappers in my purse that I didn't remember putting there - I'm not really a sweets person anymore. My mom stopped buying it when I was a kid, so I grew out of it.

Finally my keys. I clicked the door open, slammed it shut, pressed the lock button six or eight times, and turned it out. I didn't even bother to check my text message that I'd wanted to see in the first place: I just floored it into reverse and then drive and got back to the highway and kept driving.

My car smelled like burnt cinnamon, so I rolled all the windows down and let it out, but it's never really gone away. I still smell it sometimes when I step into my car for a grocery trip or whatever, but Febreeze really helps.

The Amber Alerts kept coming for a good hour or so, that horrible screech over and over again. I turned on the radio to drown them out because I just wanted to forget.

When I got to the border of Ohio, they stopped abruptly, right in the middle of a buzz. Every since then, I don't get them anymore, even when everyone else does.

This store, this Ridealong, was just so wrong. And what the hell is up with that name? Who is that man? Is he a kidnapping time traveler? Am I really a woman, or am I still a little girl trapped somewhere in a gas station, eating candy to survive? I don't know what anything is anymore. I had to take a week off work, doors locked, phone off, not talking to anyone, drowning myself in booze.

It's been years now, but I still map out my trips so I avoid anywhere that may have been anywhere near that place. I've never seen another of them, though.

Anyway, 0/10 do not recommend.

#writing #horror #psychological horror #no sleep #fiction

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rage-against-the-cistem · 2 years

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Spiralling all the way down

So basically, here I was reading some old dms, sat near a hospital, and suddently I start to feel anxious. I try to knock it off as usual and it didn't work. So I spent 4 hours enduring an rootless anxiety attack. I only calmed down when I started to text a friend of mine.

I was perplexed by why i couldn't manage the anxiety as I used to. Then, I realized there was no underlying thought that was triggering as it tends to be the case. I couldn't supress the thought that would cause anxiety. I was doomed. Tried to crying. Walking. Reading stuff. Nothing was working but I knew what it was happening.

Earlier that morning, I was on Twitter and found a thread made by an autistic account. That thread basically described a type of OCD without *visible* compulsions, which uhm...... apparently the possibility of having it was plausible. If we are talking about terrifying intrusive thoughts (occasionally), rumination, avoidant behavior and thought supression, I'm the person that is ruminating all this xD. I initially thought I didn't have visible compulsions. I do a lot of supression. I avoid talking about certain topics. I do escapism.... oh wait xD

I do have compulsions that are well hidden from people. I avoid emails because if I open one, I don't what is going to happen, but it's likely a terrible thing (that one is very connected to my trauma so that is why i didn't thought as compulsion). I avoid playing video games. I don't wear certain clothes if I know something bad will happen. I go out of my house because being there makes me anxious. I avoid people that tend to ruminate about hard topics. I run or dance to tire me as much as I can. I enter school by the backdoor instead of the main entrance. I skipped one semester of classes. I avoid many things that I can't count.

I disregarded these behaviors as trauma induced ones (they are but they don't explain what I'm going to mention).

My most common spiralling comes from realizing how hostile and dehumanizing capitalism is. I don't stop thinking about it and feeling hopeless when the day that my parents will not sustain me (i'm autistic and ADHDer young adult). It made sense to spiral, overall i'm a easy victim of capitalism for being disabled. It was rational and even required at some extent. I'm an anarchist and I was an avid Twitter user. Politics is one of my special interests. Political Twitter tends to bring the most horrifying stories from victims of capitalism. I couldn't help those people, I can't abolish a well established socioeconomical system by my own. But here I was being exposed to the most vile things that the human being could do, and if I did complain, they would think I cannot face reality.

Realizing that I might have OCD makes me resent more performative activism that is just keyboard wars, doxxing and shaming people online, as if the issue that was being discussed wasn't bad enough. It also makes me feel mad to ruminating people (ironically I know it's projecting xD).

But there other ones that are more sneaky and I tend to forget I have them. Tics (the bug) is a bad one but it used to be so much worse. I got scared twice for thinking I had one in my body. I knew about Lyme's Disease and a fatal fever, caused by a tic's bite. Not just scared, asking my mom if I had one and checking any symptoms, after a walk near a swamp. I was 19.

I used to go to swimming classes and one day, after a Science class when someone talked about jellyfish being mortal and not easily visible (not correct), I started to think there was jellyfish in the pool. So I would not touch the pool's ground so I didn't get bitten (always swimming or holding myself in the wall). Eventually I lost that one after some self reassurement. I was 10.

One time, I bought blueberry's juice from a sketchy supermarket. The package was a bit dusty and, after some sips, it started to leak. The package had a hole and I immediately thought there was rat piss, years after a former friend of mine telling me that rat piss is a poison and it's common to find rats in supermarkets. So I thrown away the package. I was 20. There is an actually ironic undertone there. I used to avoid sugary drinks (now I crave for them) because of fear of getting diabetes when I was 7/8/9. This example gives me hope for the fact that I can shift my obsessions.

Basically... i have been dealing with this for a while xD. I was afraid of choking myself because I was afraid I would abruptly stop breathing. I was 11. I never told anyone because I would be labelled as hyponcondriac and weak. But sometimes it's too terrifying to deal with them alone. I can recall times I went to bed, thinking some illness will kill me overnight. I have less of those, but how they are hard to cope, for how realitistic they are.

I deal more with demons that happen to be violent, tempting and convincing than ghosts that are more like the previously described thoughts. I can't tell if the thought is mine or theirs. This, sadly, tends to occur more in relationships. Thoughts like "your partner is lying", "they left you on read for a reason that it's your fault", "maybe they are going to end the relationship after this argument", "don't say you love them because it's silly and probably they don't share the same feelings" you get the drill. That shit... is so terrifying. Don't get me wrong. My two close partners support me and love me. It's just this stupid brain. I can't always ask for their reassurement when my brain is betraying me, it's tiresome.

Some arguments were caused because I trusted those thoughts and confront them with that. It's still my fault. I was not thinking logically, not understanding what they meant as I was reading too much what he said and gult tripping them for said reactive behavior of mine and eventual spiralling. I still feel disgusted by what i did. They didn't deserve to deal with me on my most illogical and obsessive state. When someone is a special interest of mine (a positive obsession from me being autistic), I'm so afraid of mixing that with my negative obsessive tendencies (it does sadly), so I try to tone down so I don't cross that boundary and the person's own boundaries. Most often, it's me mistrusting or just getting full of doubting and malicious thoughts about the person's character, intentions, or even more commonly, mistrusting their compliments. Also miscommunicating and avoiding expressing my needs.

The most tragic part is that I can't distinguish what thoughts are mine and what thoughts are from somewhere, in many cases. I feel like i'm going to be a slave to them. I can't feel joy because they keep haunting me. I long for the day I don't have them to ruin the free time that I have. I long the day I don't dread a fictional impending relationship breakup. I long the day when I go out is to seize the sunset and not to run from a potencial anxiety attack.

I told some of my obsessive thought patterns to psychiatrists but none of them said that I could be sus of OCD and just prescribed me SSRI's. And this comes my very very bad decision. I stopped taking them 2 months after. I'm now taking ADHD meds, which oh well who would thought it makes you more prone to spiral?

I KNOW I DID THE TERRIBLE MISTAKE OF THINKING I COULD MANAGE MY THOUGHT PATTERNS AND PROBABLY AFTER THE THESIS I WOULD BE NO LONGER HAVING THOSE RUMINATIVE THOUGHTS. I'm very pro at neglecting myself and I hate that this is not even the second time it happens. So i'm taking the meds I was supposed to take and see if I get better. I'm just mad that no doctor presented me the hypothesis of having OCD. I will not touch the most likely reasons to that.

But now knowing that I might have a very serious mental ilness will make more attentive and more cautious with myself. Because I can't deal with this shit, just by doing my little compulsions. It's out of my control, therefore it just doesn't go away like i used to believe and I'm afraid of believing it again.

I wrote this big ass thing for someone who needs it but mostly to convince myself. I know that it's not a very obvious dx, it overlaps with my anxiety, ADHD and autism. I'm afraid of someone telling me I'm making it up like one of those tik tok trends. I'm afraid of feeling like this forever, in which I live the moments my brain allows to live. I'm afraid of acting according to my obsessive thoughts and harimg others. I will be better in the future, now that I know wtf is going on. If you know me irl, well if you were suspecting or bewildered by the shit i did, I hope this gives you some answers.

Stay cool

#actually ocd #adhd things #adhd #autism #being autistic #ocd thoughts #pure ocd #mental illness #actually autistic #ocd vent

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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Your brother knows what's up... sad we will never get them on screen together 🥴 but I'm genuinely curious if any of the Teezers star in a drama soon. It's difficult cause Ateez is always up to something and I don't want their schedule to be too packed, but Actorteez 😭 They're pretty good at comedy, especially Jongho but I need something more serious from them. Let Seonghwa play a villain!

DO NOT try to distract me with the cat talk. I need to see the MILF idc!!! I'm also very much thinking about misunderstood villain Y/N 💔

Omg this is how I sound... https://twitter.com/avgcatboyliker/status/1520653328706854912?t=sWggKMrdWJm9q5rkQqwBlg&s=19

Also did you see YunHwa demolish a potato tortilla with chopsticks and talk about adding ketchup to it??? I'm not Spanish but I was so offended, my boys, my guys uhhhh please do not... also what did Seonghwa look so hot for while doing that?! But I'm glad they tried some local food I feel like most idols eat cups of ramen and lots of Korean food only while going abroad, lmao. While trying Korean food prepared in different countries is cool gor sure, I wish some of them ate more varied stuff

I had some self-control and bought the DVD one, but I'm gonna buy or trade some of the benefits from the Blu Ray...

I also cannot believe I ordered a Cashbee card with pink Seonghwa's face on it 💀

And I'm thinking of buying a new binder for Hwa, it has to be pink 100%, this one is so cute 🍓 but it's so small 🤧

https://www.amazon.com/Fujifilm-Instax-Photocard-Sleeves-Pockets/dp/B09VB9TFV8

This one is better, but it won't fit 9 pockets sleeves

https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/Hfc24e95a0a154c2bbe8d76365dd2c9c2C.jpg_640x640Q90.jpg_.webp

Bandana Hwa is BB Hwa, my beloved stupid lil bitch boy so true 😭 I need to read that story again, cause it has one of my favourite Y/Ns

Hsysyushshgshahs when people ask me which is the safest borough in London I'm like "bestie I don't mean to break it to you..." sure the boring boroughs are better, but I saw some weird shit everywhere. Still nothing ever happened to me, plus I'm kinda used to sketchy and dangerous places.

Okay so people from Quebec are cancelled then wtf, I know the hijab ban is happening in France, like in court rooms, while playing sports etc, so not surprising Quebec is the same. Those white French motherfuckers 💀

Actually let me tell you about that friend cause I feel like some of my friends' relationship stories are straight out of a webtoon, lmao. She had a long-time Canadian boyfriend, nothing bad happened between them they just grew apart and weren't into having a long distance relationship. Then in Australia she met a younger guy, but was like "nah, he's too young and it's too soon" she was 28 and he was 23 at that time, but he was veeeeeery interested. Helped her loosen up a bit again... in many ways 😏 then the pandemic happened and it brought them even closer. They also work with animals together. Semi-MILF moment! It's like the opposite of my different friend who's dating a DILF 😅 I hate the d-word but we teasingly call him d*dd* and the worst thing is: he knows it 🤚🏻

Bestie and what about nerd Hwa I ask??? Look he's so cute and hot and looks so smart, my favourite lab partner 🤧 I'm suddenly craving university AU so bad...

https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1521410264444243968?t=bKtgb8s2nOvoUKgSXJkhew&s=19

- DV 💖

HI!!

he fr does 😭😭😭 he now asks me if they’re actually related somehow dbwbden YEAH SANHWA NEED TO PLAY VILLAIN ABSOLUTELY !!!!!!! i think yunho and jongho would do some great sitcoms,,,, wooyoung could do like the dream high type of dramas, yeosang with ceo fake ratings + mingi and hong for those variety shows where they travel and eat and busk omg

DO NOT try to distract me with the cat talk. I need to see the MILF idc!!! I'm also very much thinking about misunderstood villain Y/N 💔

NO BC THE CAT IS SO ADORABLE HIS TAIL COILS AROUND HWAS WRIST WHEN HWAS LAYING DOWN AND THE CAT JUST SLEEPS ON HIS HAND ????? 😭😭😭😭😭🤚🏼🤚🏼🤚🏼 look see, bodyguard hwa got two cats…. one is dumbles…the other i think u know ,,,,,, OH MISUNDERSTOOD VILLAIN ☺️☺️☺️☺️ WB HER ☺️☺️

Omg this is how I sound... https://twitter.com/avgcatboyliker/status/1520653328706854912?t=sWggKMrdWJm9q5rkQqwBlg&s=19

BRMQDHKW I GHOSTWROTE THAT TWEET 😭😭😭

BFMWHDKWHDKW THEIR ASIAN KEPT COMING OUT EATINF EVERYTHING WITH THE CHOPSTICKS 😭😭😭 no bc why did the black on black ensemble looks so 🤌🏼😮‍💨 HMMM I AGREE !!! i think most also eat at restaurants but in the end they just go find some noodles to eat which i hope r enough for the energy they put on stage dbdb

I had some self-control and bought the DVD one, but I'm gonna buy or trade some of the benefits from the Blu Ray...

OHO ☺️☺️☺️ UNDERCUT HWA HD <333 omg the pob’s sTOP I HOPE U GET ALL HWA’s

I also cannot believe I ordered a Cashbee card with pink Seonghwa's face on it 💀

….

And I'm thinking of buying a new binder for Hwa, it has to be pink 100%, this one is so cute 🍓 but it's so small 🤧 https://www.amazon.com/Fujifilm-Instax-Photocard-Sleeves-Pockets/dp/B09VB9TFV8 // This one is better, but it won't fit 9 pockets sleeves https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/Hfc24e95a0a154c2bbe8d76365dd2c9c2C.jpg_640x640Q90.jpg_.webp

bEST FRIEND LOOK HERE https://www.etsy.com/ca/search?q=pc+binder+kpop&ref=auto-1

Bandana Hwa is BB Hwa, my beloved stupid lil bitch boy so true 😭 I need to read that story again, cause it has one of my favourite Y/Ns

LMFAOOOO STUPID LIL BITCH BOY 😭😭😭 HE WAS FR THE BEST NOY BUT ALSO 🔫 y/n truly <3 so good <3 bUT FOR ME THE YN OF GENERAL WAS 😮‍💨😮‍💨

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 NAURRR london and also it’s problem with stabbing ppl is rly so 🔫🔫🔫 it’s so pretty but PPL FAMNDM GRRR

OH YEAH THEY BEEN CANCELED FOR AGESS it’s always the french ones too,,, tho some r nice most have racism and it’s 😭😭😭 like students get bullied and ppl outside quebec shut down their school’s websites and take them to the admins 😭😭😭

Helped her loosen up a bit again... in many ways 😏

HE KNOWS??? BRKWDHKWDHWKDHWK ITS ALWAYS THE YOUNGER ONES, U ALWAYS NEED THE YOUNGER ONES TO SHOW U EVERYTHING IM SCRWMAIMFBFMWBDKWHDQKHDKWD THIS IS A FIC TBMWBDWKDHKWBDKWJDKW DOES HE TEASE U GUYS ABT IT STOPPPPFHWKHDK

Bestie and what about nerd Hwa I ask??? Look he's so cute and hot and looks so smart, my favourite lab partner 🤧 I'm suddenly craving university AU so bad... https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1521410264444243968?t=bKtgb8s2nOvoUKgSXJkhew&s=19

I HAVE A UNIVERSITY AU,,, do u rmr the long lost cliche as fuck plot where two ppl, opposites get paired up to take care of a fake kid <3 basketball player hwa x teachers pet reader and their fake kid they named differently, coming to u soon someday “the baby project” <3

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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paradisetemporarilymisplaced · 3 years

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So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

#the old guard #tog #tog fanfiction #tog meta #immortal family #nile freeman #mine #damn look at me contributing to a fandom! that’s new #pls reblog if you like this my self esteem could really use it #I just love nile so much and I’m being the nile-centric content I want to see in the world #it is just genuinely nuts to think abt how this situation would be perceived by anyone outside the narrative #she just mysteriously heals from a fatal injury and then VANISHES!!! this should be national fuckin news #also I do think there’s a major hole in the story when you think abt social media #like the only time it’s even hinted at is right at the very beginning when Andy erases that girl’s selfie #and the concept of fuckin Reddit is not even brought up despite Copley’s stalker board being analog Reddit #there’s just a lot of places one could go with this which is very much what we got here #1k

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tommybaholland · 3 years

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Hey, I love your work 🥰 Could you do a headcanon where the bnha boys have a s/o who has a very friendly personality but is unable to hide their stoic face when they dislike someone? Like, s/o during all day 😊, then Mineta been creepy like always and s/o is like 😐

Could be Todoroki, Bakugo, Kirishima, Midoria and Dabi pls? You can do others if you feel like it tho

(Sorry if got confused, I'm terrible at describing my ideas haha)

friendly s/o who has an expressive face

featuring: todoroki, bakugo, kirishima, midoriya, and dabi

your request makes complete sense but i don’t know if the title does.. hopefully i conveyed the idea well! thank you and enjoy :)

todoroki

he normally has a very stoic expression that doesn’t change much unless he’s angry

and you’ll know when he’s angry

seeing your friendly face was somewhat refreshing for him

you kind of reminded him of people who are also very approachable like his sister or even midoriya

you could always brighten his day with your smile

he’s also not opposed to your other expressions either

he can even find them amusing in a way

you don’t hold anything back and that’s very admirable to him

he’s willing to fight for what he believes in and you have a similar mindset

you can be blunt and candid with your expressions though and it’s hard to hold them back

sometimes you feel like you can be a little too expressive in a way that offends others

some have referred to you as ‘rude’ with how you can look

and you know you’re not rude but it can get to you sometimes

you don’t hide your hurt feelings well either so he knows when something isn’t right with you

you asked him if he thought you looked rude to him and then proceeded to tell him what you others had said to you

“you know that’s anything but true, my love. they probably just don’t know you well enough that you’re actually so wonderful. at least, that’s what i think.”

you like when he gives you that cute little grin of his because that’s all you need to be reassured

even in your lowest of times, he can be your sunshine

bakugo

obviously, he’s never been the friendliest person ever

it was the fact that you remained kind even when he would yell or call you insulting names

nothing seemed to shake you which was really attractive to him

unless you really didn’t like someone or something

and he’d admit that you’re ten times more attractive when you’re not impressed or unamused

however, he cannot help to chime in when he feels he needs to even if you’ve got it under control

like if mineta is being his pervy self with some of the girls or anyone else for that matter, you will call him out on it

“jeez, y/n. you’re way hotter when you’re smiling.”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU MORONIC GRAPE?! I WILL BLAST YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELL IF YOU SAY THAT TO THEM AGAIN.”

he thinks you look beautiful whether you’re smiling or looking intimidating but he prefers when you smile

it’s disgustingly contagious to him

but he gets a kick out of your more serious expressions and never feels that you’re being too forward about it

some people just need to know when they sound like an idiot, you know?

he likes to tease you sometimes when you’re being too cute and friendly

“you think you’re tough, dumbass? show me your mean face.”

he absolutely loves that you humor him and can transition so well

the duality of you makes him fall in love with you all over again

kirishima

he’s also a very friendly person so naturally, he’s drawn to how sweet and kind you are

but you two differ with how you handle uncomfortable situations

he’ll try to continue to be polite but you, on the other hand, cannot hide your expression when someone says something you don’t like

he understands that you just want to be taken seriously when things aren’t all fun and games

he likes to reaffirm that for you but never intends to offend

“you’re very tough, pebble! and i’m not trying to patronize you when i say that.”

he does enjoy that you can stand up for yourself and others

it’s almost like you’re the rock instead of him

you can let things get to you pretty easily though

and for him, that’s not necessarily a bad thing

it means that you think critically about certain things and it’s okay if it upsets you sometimes and you can’t help but let it show

that’s what makes you human and he admires that you’re not afraid to show that

plus it gives him an excuse to hold you tight and tell you how much he loves you

“it’s okay to be sad about something, babe. you’re still such a wonderful and amazing person to me!”

soon enough, you go back to being your bright and happy self and you have him to thank for it

he literally is the rock in your relationship, no matter how much he denies it

midoriya

he’s also very approachable and affable

but he has a different way of dealing with certain situations or a person that he doesn’t like

if he’s intimidated, he’ll get really nervous

but if he’s not scared at all, you don’t want to mess with him

he will detroit smash any threat with no problem

you were pretty much the same way

cute and bubbly with your smiling face but people should know that you don’t always look like that

you can get serious when need be

however, he’s usually pretty nervous in everyday situations whereas you would not hold back your stank eye

it was something he had to learn to accept with you because you could look pretty rude

your reasoning was usually founded and valid though so he couldn’t disagree

other people, sometimes other girls, seemed really drawn towards him and it’s not unlike you to get a little jealous

he only stays polite because it’s what you should do if someone else is being nice to you

it’s only when they actually pose a threat to your relationship and say something uncalled for about you

your mood completely changes and you can’t hide it

he’s grateful to have you though because he’s not great at handling those types of situations

you never hold a grudge though and switch back easily to the sweet, kind cutie that he loves

dabi

he’s used to people avoiding him just because of how he looks

it doesn’t bother him that much as he doesn’t want anyone approaching him anyway

being with you could be kinda difficult because you were the exact opposite of him

he couldn’t blame others because you were so cute and enticing with your friendly self

but you could be just as cold as him as well

in fact, you used to not like him because of how he would treat you

he’d fully admit that he’d patronize you when he called you cute or adorable, especially when you look mean

you are actually so much more to him though and provide him with the hope that maybe he could build a better future for himself

anyway, the places that he stayed were usually pretty sketchy and the people that skulked around were equally suspicious

he used to be wary of creeps trying to come onto you or take you away from him

not that he couldn’t scare them off himself

but he didn’t have to because you could go from :D to >:( real quick and have it taken care of no problem

people learned not to bother you like they learned with him

it’s almost like you didn’t need him to protect you or didn’t need him at all and realistically, you didn’t

but that didn’t stop you from being with him, even if you probably didn’t belong together

he was prepared to condemn all the naysayers as he admired how pretty the blue glow from his fire looked against your ethereal face

and he was grateful to get a kiss from an absolute angel like you

woohoo, bnha night! get those requests in..

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nais-doodles · 4 years

Photo

THE FINAL PRODUCT AHHHH. This took a lot out of me but I am so proud of how it came together in the end, ahhhh.

Here are the original sketches if you’re curious as to how everyone looked originally.

Obligatory ask for you to click through

And finally, finally, my headcanons below the cut, so ya’ll don’t have to be bogged down with them. Warning, it’s kinda long

Hi, I put off making pancakes to write this

Lucifer

Lucifer owns a private detective agency (Edit: It’s got a name now! Morningstar Detective Agency, courtesy of the lovely @impastaz309), and all the brothers are in one way or another involved in it

The agency works with the police in the more secretive cases, usually ‘important’ people going missing under mysterious circumstances, drug trafficking etc.

Though he’s the head, a lot of the time he’s handling paperwork which helps cover the brothers and his back, especially since some of the stuff they do, and links they have with other people and organisations, could be exploited at their expense.

He’s looking at satan btw lmao

Running a detective agency and also keeping tabs on his brothers is very hard ™ so Lucifer is just, tired, all the time. Please give him a shoulder rub and smooches

Mammon

Usually used as bait, believe it or not, therefore his existence is somewhat of a mystery. He has to keep a low profile.

If you asked someone in the street, unless they were really involved in the agency (which they wouldn’t be), has a high ranking in the police (unlikely), or any of the other organisations the agency associates with (probably not) they wouldn’t know he exists

Mammon is very good at his job, organising meetings with middlemen, smooth talking his way out of situations, getting even the criminals themselves to come and meet him without a mediator

He is only ever used when they agency or police know with absolute certainty that the person they’ll be catching will be arrested without fail - which is of course impossible to know, so it’s always a gamble when they pull Mammon out of the deck

Good luck dating him because this guy can’t really go in public for too long at a time

Leviathan

He works at a newspaper agency, or at least that’s what they want you to think

In reality the whole reporter business is a front, and Leviathan is an information broker. Or rather, the head of a small group of information brokers.

The city is big, and one person alone isn’t enough to cover everything, but man is his group efficient

Every address change, every telephone call made, every booking of hotel rooms, all of it, he keeps tabs on it all

The information he’s gathered has helped the private detective agency out in a pinch many times, and will continue to do so in the future

“I’m very very busy, so please don’t call me during work, sweetheart. Especially not this particular number, that’s only for emergencies, and even then, it better be life or death, okay? Okay.”

Satan

Works in a bar. Specifically, a bar in a kinda sorta illegal underground fight club. It’s very illegal don’t let anyone fool you

A lot of the more questionable people of the city frequent this bar, and let me tell you, some people cannot keep their mouth shut once they’ve had a few drinks.

Anything Leviathan or Asmodeus can’t catch (don’t worry I’m getting there), is usually picked up by Satan via a blabbermouth who had too much to drink that night.

Satan is also pretty chummy with a lot of the fighters, and has a tendency to be the one patching up the milder injuries after fights

Therefore, he has a lot of favours he can collect, so if Lucifer ever needs some muscle that goes beyond what Beel can provide, Satan in there recommending a few of the more... smarter(?) fighters at the club.

Please don’t scratch his bar, he is a very forgiving bartender, but ruining the mahogany imported from England will have him beating the shit out of you

Asmodeus

A bit of a celebrity, his rise to fame being both accidental and very useful

Think barbershop quartet, but he does a lot of solo work as well. The other three guys in the barbershop quartet are an absolute blast, and Asmodeus loves them to bits.

Originally, Lucifer was furious. How does he expect to work in the agency if he’s off singing at clubs and attending fancy parties? Then he realised something: Asmodeus can keep tabs on any of the more sketchy celebrities who slip through the net

So off into stardom Asmodeus went, attending lavish parties and singing at packed theatres, collecting dirt, formulating blackmail, getting only the best gossip and pulling favours along the way.

“Jen, hon, did you hear about Carter? Apparently, he’s sleeping with the daughter of the Chief of Police.”

“Wait a minute... Asmo, isn’t she married?”

“She is most definitely married.”

“Oh my.”

Beelzebub

Usually seen working with Belphegor, partially because, well, that’s his twin brother and he likes his brother, so why not?

And also because Belphegor always needs backup

Though he isn’t always with Belphegor, really, he’s just sent whenever Lucifer is wary of sending anyone in the agency somewhere on their own.

Think of Beel as a bodyguard of sorts. He is always there to stop things form getting physical if needs be, but he isn’t always enough on his own despite being an absolute powerhouse. So sometimes he’ll go around with someone Satan recommended too

They’re really nice actually, Beel was super surprised, you’d think they’d have no manners? (That’s because Satan gives you the nice ones Beel, thank him once in a while)

They also all think he’s a marvel of muscle send from the gods so ya know. And they all get him cakes from that bakery he loves, so they’re all good in Beel’s book

Belphegor

You know the whole good cop bad cop routine? Yeah, Belphie is both depending on who you need for that current situation.

Masterful in the art of manipulation, Lucifer uses him on the more tough to crack people who sit in the interrogation room

He is actually pretty good at shoving the fragmented pieces of a case together, weaving a story that gets the person being interrogated sweating bullets

Even when he is way off, he still manages to worm information out of the subject a lot faster than anyone at the police station. Point, private detective agency.

Like I said, he can be the good cop or the bad cop, though because he isn’t all that intimidating, he’s usually asked to be good cop

But dear lord he is a scary bad cop, and everyone in the police force and their mother knows it

If you got this far wow, hi, thanks! And you may or may not be happy to know I’m planning on another noir piece, this time featuring the undatables and maybe my mcs too idk yet

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salamoonder · 4 years

Text

Alright, so here’s the thing. At this point, I actually don’t care what Artagan has or hasn’t done and, morally, what that means. It’s irrelevant. Interesting, but irrelevant. What I want to talk about is what the Nein, excluding Jester, know about him, and what they do with this information, and how they cast judgment.

Here are things that the nein have actually seen: fleeting glimpses of a figure in a green cloak. one conversation with a giant archfey who has recruited jester’s help in planning a convention. further, fleeting glimpses. very very brief phrases.

Here are things that the nein have heard about him from jester: he’s pretty cool, you guys :) . he’s got a chaotic streak, like her. he helps her pull off pranks. he’s always shown up for her. he’s handsome. he taught her magic. he kept her company when her mom was busy. he is her first friend. he is her best friend. he is her oldest friend. she really loves him.

and yes, they know he misrepresented himself to jester for years. they know he sent them to an island where you lose your memory every night. they know that he is sketchy as fuck and they do not know if he means what he says. and that is reasonable and understandable and fair.

here is something that i don’t know if you guys know about abusers, regardless of if artagan is one or not. (and he’s not. i’m not even going to say i don’t think he is, he literally is not abusive. words mean something; stop throwing them around because you personally don’t like someone.) you cannot tell their victims that they are abusive or awful or manipulative or horrible, and expect that to help. that makes it worse. the same is true of cults. you cannot, and i mean CANNOT, make yourself hostile, because then the outside world is hostile, and the abuser is safe. the outside world is hostile, and the cult is safe. furthermore you’re reinforcing what every abuser and what every cult plants in their victim’s heads--i’m the only one who would put up with you. i’m the only one who really loves you. everyone else will be cruel to me, but i’m the only thing you have. even if the nein had reason to suspect that the traveler was straight up abusing jester instead of just weird and shady, that is not a good response.

no matter how bad artagan is or isn’t, fjord, caduceus, and beau are still being condescending. they are still failing to trust that jester knows what she’s talking about. they are still trying to coddle her, they are still treating her like a child, and i want to talk about that. i want y’all to see that they’re still treating her like she’s emotionally fragile. like individually, i want to talk about that, and also the fact that everyone seems to want to lump caleb into this. (and yasha?? yasha has barely said anything about him, y’all.)

i’m going to skim over caduceus a bit because i don’t think his is a jester-centric problem. he tends to just trust that he either has the correct answers to a situation, or that even if he doesn’t know what’s correct, he knows what isn’t. this arc has been very interesting, because it’s been a lot of “i’ll play along with this because it sounds intriguing, but i’m going to be very self righteous about it the whole time.” like. the “we’re good” when jester brought up transferring followers to melora is haunting me. why “we’re good”? i get cad’s philosophy that not everyone is going to flock to one god--that’s fine, that makes sense. but the implication of “we’re good” really makes it sound like “mmm no thanks, none of these people would end up in my cool and correct religion anyway.” because he doesn’t know! he doesn’t know if any of these people would actually be happier and better off with melora. or. maybe he does know, or has decided, that they wouldn’t be, because these are not the kind of people that he could see himself falling under the same moral umbrella as. (lmao love how i said i was going to skim. anyway. again, less a jester thing, more a “cad is smug about everything” thing tbh.)

let’s move to fjord. he is quite honestly making me almost more uncomfortable than beau, because he’s making statements that i don’t really actually believe. “we just don’t want you to get hurt” is all very well and good. coupling that with agreeing with beau that they shouldn’t leave jester alone with artagan? without telling jester? does not jive. (i’m still not over the ridiculous of that, by the way. yeah this dude--no, this ARCHFEY, who could snap you in half in a moment--has been alone with her regularly for the first 20ish years of her life but now, now he’s going to try and kill her, and you’re going to be the one to stop that.) fjord keeps saying things like this--that he trusts her--but he doesn’t actually act like it. at one point he even says “if jester has faith in the traveler, that’s good enough for me, i suppose.” but it’s not, and he doesn’t act like it is. you know who actually acts like that? caleb. caleb’s getting his own paragraph though this is getting long as fuck. but if fjord actually meant that? he would’ve told beau “listen i know this situation is sketchy and i don’t like him anymore than you do but because i trust jester i also trust that she knows what she’s doing here, and i’ll be there to back her up with whatever she needs/wants me to do”. but he did not say that or anything like that. instead he agreed with beau to essentially be bodyguarding jester--without consulting jester about it at all. he wouldn’t have told jester “he’s generally full of shit, right?” about the traveler. jester is continually telling the group over and over again that she knows what he’s like. she knows Exactly how he can be. and the sad thing is, if fjord actually believed that she knew what she was talking about when she said that and if he believed that he could actually talk to her frankly and not that her feelings had to be protected at all costs (my skin is still crawling at “we don’t wanna ruin jester’s special day”. it’s not a five year old’s birthday party), then he would have straight up told her. he would have said “hey we’re concerned enough that he’s going to hurt you that we don’t think you should be alone with him. can we help guard against that?”

and i’ll be honest, i’ve kind of been squicked out by all the romantic posts about fjord and jester because he’s spent the last few episodes genuinely treating her like a wonderful but vulnerable child who needs to be protected from the world. when he told beau "I'm probably the least clued in as to how jester feels” i was like YEAH NO SHIT. and i know he meant it in a romantic sense but i feel that it’s true in general. like i get that he’s scared to talk to her. that’s fine. he doesn’t have to talk to her about her feelings, romantic or otherwise. but if he’s acknowledging that he does not at all know how she feels then he has no right to behave as if he does know. and again i don’t mean this in a romantic sense. i mean it in a, he is making the assumption that she can’t handle reasoned criticism of the traveler to her face, kind of sense. he and beau both are opting for “random insults, threats, and judgments they have decided apply” over “genuinely this is why we are concerned”. there has been a lot of “you don’t need him” and “you are better off without him” and “you’re better than him” and “you have us why do you need that” and those are judgement statements that are essentially meaningless. all they do is further demonstrate to jester that they don’t actually understand why she’s upset or what she actually wants.

i think caleb, mr i-eat-encyclopedias-for-breakfast, likely just has a better intellectual understanding of the fae and that may be why he’s not as outwardly concerned as the rest, but he’s also actually decided to trust jester that she knows what she’s dealing with. she has demonstrated both verbally and with her actions that even if she may not have known about artagan initially, She Knows How This Works. and he trusts that. caleb truly went “alright, i trust that you know what you’re doing, where do you need me” and that was IT. i’m not saying that he’s not allowed to be suspicious or concerned or wary of the traveler: i just don’t think he is. and i hate that people keep lumping him in with the rest of the nein “treating jester like a child” because they think he’s predatory or something--especially as caleb and fjord are pretty much the same age--when he is literally the only FUCKING person consistently asking jester how she feels and then actually acting accordingly.

and the thing is, you don’t have to be caleb and largely unconcerned, it is actually possible for you to show concern and alarm and wariness for your friend’s best friend without condescending to them and veth has been doing that this whole damn time. we know how she feels about him; she decidedly does not like him. but she set that aside to really fully listen to jester and then tried to be helpful to her in deciding what to do next, without inserting her own opinion. veth is the only one acknowledging that, sure, this looks really bad and i don’t like that guy, but you know him best, jester, and you know yourself best and so it should be your choice what to do in this situation. she reminds jester--if he is really a friend to you, and he is doing things you don’t like, then you can talk to him about that and he should listen. i want to talk about how when jester suggested that artagan join the mighty nein, there were exactly three reactions. extremely lame excuses from everyone but caleb and veth, “maybe, like, an annex--” from caleb, because he knows what everyone else is gonna say, and “we don’t like your friend” from veth, literally the only person who has apparently decided that jester can hear that without dissolving into a puddle or something.

and i want to make it clear--i don’t hate the actors. and stories are supposed to make you upset and uncomfortable, to an extent. they’re supposed to make you think. you’re not supposed to be happy when darth vader blows up alderaan. you’re not supposed to be happy when edmund betrays his siblings to the white witch. these are all excellent, excellent character choices and i applaud the cast for making them. and i don’t hate fjorester. and like yeah there have been a lot of cute moments in the last few eps. and they are cute and their story is compelling and it’s interesting. but i wish people would stop acting like fjord’s attitude towards her is perfect and lovely and that he trusts her sooo much when he is going behind her back like this. i am...the biggest widomauk shipper. and i have to admit my heart does the swoopy thing every time i rewatch the forehead kiss. but that wasn’t great. it was overall really not a good read or handle of the situation. it was, there was an attempt. and i do think fjord is trying. and i think beau is trying too. and i think all of their attitudes however terrible just come from a place of loving her and wanting to protect her. but--and here i must point frantically back at artagan--loving someone does not mean that you’re not hurting them.

#artagan #the traveler #jester lavorre #fjord #beauregard lionett #caleb widogast #veth brenatto #the mighty nein #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #thane watches critical role #long post

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bluebellhairpin · 3 years

Text

What kind of Father Are You?

Attack on Titan X Reader

A/N: This is mainly because I want more Kenny content and apparently I have to do all that myself. BuT I’m also feeling really sad and vulnerable rn as have been for the past few days - dunno why, just am - so here’s some soft stuff. - Nemo

Warnings: All these AoT characters get children. Much Fluff.

Listening to: ‘Wonder’ by Shawn Mendes (slowed) - ‘I wonder what it's like to be loved by you.’

Masterlist

Erwin Smith

You shouldn’t get me started on this man - but look at that you didn’t, I did that myself! Ha.

He’s a very chill dad. Not fun, but not boring. Like one of those dads that your friends can say hi to, but like not hold a proper conversation with them.

HoWEVER

- no you can’t come at me yet I’m not done fool -

He loves and adores his children so much.

He’d take the stars from the heavens for them. He’d hold the sky on his shoulders if they asked him to. He lives and breathes for his kids and keeping them happy and safe. He’d do anything for them.

They would never once be able to say he doesn’t love them because it’s plainly not true.

A child of Erwin Smith will never feel like they do not belong somewhere. They do belong somewhere - right beside Erwin’s beating heart.

Reiner Braun

He - and I cannot put this any other way - spoils his kids.

His wallet and money sing at him to slow down, but does he listen? Hell to the nah.

We all know it’s true, so don’t bother arguing with me about it.

He also carries them around a lot. Always has - and as they grow he just sucks it up and learns how to deal with how heavy they’ve gotten.

Like here’s a 20-yr-old being carried WITH ONE ARM by their 40-something-year-old father - AND ALL BECAUSE HE USED TO CARRY THEM WITH ONE ARM WHEN THEY WERE LIKE THREE AND HE WANT’S THEM TO STILL FEEL LIKE A KID SOMETIMES.

oh look, I made myself melt.

He just kinda wants his kids to never really stop feeling like a kid, even when they’re adults - and he’ll do whatever in his power to make that happen.

Levi Ackerman

He’s 100 per cent a protective dad.

‘Where are you going?’ - ‘Who’re you going with?’ - ‘When will you be home?’

Those are questions asked from the moment his children are allowed to stay away from him - even if it’s for school.

That being said, unlike Erwin, he is the kind of dad that his kids friends like.

He’s got crude humor, he does let them get away with slightly sketchy stuff, and he JOINS THEM - if only to make sure they don’t get caught.

No way in hell are his kids spending a night in a filthy cell.

But when his kids were younger?

Whipped.

They had him wrapped around their tiny, chubby fingers are there ain’t nothing nobody could do about it.

Armin Arlert

He is a very kind father.

Like when he disciplines his kids no one can really tell? But the point get’s across?

Defiantly sings them lullaby's when they’re younger.

His voice is soft and calm, hushed and just so very smooth. He’s a closeted great-singer and no one will ever know except his kids because they just have to be blessed by - not only being his kids - but hearing him sing too.

Like wtf? Armin?? Share??? Please???? Wdym ‘no’???????

Also read to them - they inherit his book-nerd-ness - and his reading voice is also very good.

Works just as well as a lullaby tbh.

Puts them to sleep faster than chloroform.

Zeke Jaeger

He’s not great, but not bad either.

Out of all of them, probably the most useful dad to ask for homework help.

Knows all the answers, and will give them to his kids - but like he just rephrases the questions so that they understand.

Like, you know, someone should.

But like you know that picture of Chirs Hemsworth holding up his kid? (This one?) Yeah Zeke’s done that too.

More than once.

Jokes around pretending to drop them too.

Heart attacks all round.

He’s that kind of dad.

Kenny Ackerman

He is not the parenting type and will do a lot in his power to make sure he never has to take on that responsibility.

Don’t @ me on this, it makes me sad too.

That being said, if he has to, he’ll be a father-type. Like border-lining cool-uncle type of dad.

He teaches them everything they need to know about everything. What he know, they know. You know?

LIke this five-year-old knows how to make a whiskey on the rocks, and can disarm an 6-foot-something man.

But I have this idea in my mind of just this gaggle of kids ranging from the ages of ten down and they’re all so strong with the Ackerman gene.

Glares and knives for the whole family.

Miche Zacharias

He’s so gentle with them - it’s almost painful.

He thinks he’s so big - he is - and he thinks he’s so strong - again, he is - that he’ll break this little bundle in his hands.

AND IT’S LITLERALLY JUST IN HIS HANDS LIKE THE BABA’S HEAD IN IN ONE HAND AND THEIR BODY IS IN THE OTHER LIKE MHMMMMMM

anyway

Definitely the dad to fall asleep somewhere with the kid resting against his chest - also asleep - and they’ll both stay there for hours.

Like one of his hands is just acting like a weighted blanket on the kiddo’s back, and the kid’s drooling on his shirt, and he’s got his head back and snoring.

It’s cute OKAY. Yeah I am crying again, no one cares so shuddup.

#erwin smith headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #levi ackerman headcanons #armin arlert headcanons #zeke jaeger headcanons #kenny ackerman headcanons #miche zacharias headcanons #attack on titan headcanons #shingeki no kyojin headcanons

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mk-wizard · 3 years

Text

Sailor Moon 90s Anime is STILL the best

Hi. I know I am on a Sailor Moon binge here, but after seeing all of Crystal, Eternal and on R (season 2) of the first anime, I want to get this all off of my chest... and before I go further, since these are all animes, I will refer to them as 90s, Crystal and Eternal. And after watching them all, I have to say that the 90s takes the gold medal as the best Sailor Moon anime so far and this is why;

1- It had the best pacing. - While I admit that sometimes, it went too far with the filler, 98% of the time, it worked with the 90s. It took its time to make you get to know the characters for better or for worse, it made you see different sides of them, it gave them a chance to truly develop and be multi-dimensional, and it made you care about them. When a death happened, it felt tragic. When a victory happened, you cheered. And when you saw what side characters did, it mattered. I mean, who can ever forget the contribution 90s Naru Osaka had to the story? And everyone who has seen the 90s anime cannot forget her. More on the character development and getting to know characters later.

Sure, it wasn’t true to the manga and even the characters had different personalities, but I let that slide by because when Crystal and Eternal did follow the manga to the letter, we didn’t get a chance to digest anything. The only characters who develop are Usagi, Chibi-Usa and the outer guardians, and for the last bunch, it was the bare minimum. Crystal and Eternal were fun rides and I would be lying if I said I didn’t like them, but they were like roller coasters. They gave you a thrill, but fast and been done. The 90s was like a slow scenic ride that gave you surprises, emotionally touched you, made you cry, made you laugh, made you root for the heroes and even at the age of 37 years now, I keep rewatching this series.

2- The art of the 90s was better because it was sketchy, dark and edgier. - I know Sailor Moon doesn’t seem like this on the surface because the heroines are lovely girls in cute costumes, it emphasizes femininity and all things pretty, it has a romantic theme and is all about love, but Sailor Moon is also one of the darkest, grittiest, edgy and violent magical girl animes I have ever seen since Magic Knights Rayearth. Sailor Moon has on screen deaths which were permanent most of the time, on screen stabbings and the drawing of blood, and fights that got so hardcore, that real punches and kicks were thrown. The dark edges, black line art and sharp edges worked with the atmosphere of the story. I mean, look at the difference between the halls Dark Kingdom of the 90s (above) and that of Crystal.

And if that is not enough to win you over, the characters were much more animated, organic and conveyed more emotion whether they were exaggerated or serious.

In Crystal, the expressions and body language was very dulled down. Not to mention, very stiff.

Everything is also too bright and soft which makes the characters look like velvet dolls with too much make up especially with the line art. I will give them props for adding better details, cleaner lines, the glow of magical items, and details in the gems, but everything else is all wrong.

Eternal was better, but still not quite there. The colours are still way too bright and the characters still look too much like dolls from having line art that is too wispy. And I really do not like how the eyes have this unnatural glow to them. The edgy scenes become lost with all this brightness.

3- We got to see that there was so much more the characters than just heroes or villains. - Since Usagi is the titular character, let us just talk about her in the 90s since I could go on forever about how much we learned about the characters. In any version of Sailor Moon, Usagi’s role as a Sailor Guardian has always been the core of the story and she does indeed show progress as one. However, the 90s tells us that no matter what, she is still going to be herself too which is just as important and she shows character development as just plain old Usagi too. The manga, Crystal and Eternal which only paint Usagi as not doing anything right except be a Sailor Guardian, but the 90s show her hidden talents and learning new skills. For example, she was bad at cooking at the beginning of the series.

However, by Sailor Moon R, she gets the hang of it and is able to cook a meal by herself. Yes, she is messy, clumsy, never gets the hang of making cookies and is nowhere near Makoto’s level especially when it comes to presentation, but she is good at cooking food.

Another hidden talent of Usagi’s is her drawing skills. She isn’t just good at drawing. She’s got talent at it, so in the 90s, Usagi is quite the artist.

And it is admirable that 90s Usagi is open to trying new things even if she isn’t good at them. She practices, she explores and tries to enlighten herself. Sure, academics, coordination and organization will never be her fortes, but she really does have other and tries to discover more.

In Crystal and Eternal, she is good at being Sailor Moon, she is a good friend and a good girlfriend, but that is it. She is one dimensional here and she isn’t the only one to painted like that. Everyone is only the obvious and that is all the audience gets.

4- Better character redemption. - I mentioned before that Sailor Moon had grit and was dark, but the 90s also made it more complex and did character redemption right. It was open to the possibility of bad people becoming good. For instance, the Black Moon Clan Specter Sister are unforgettable for being successfully redeemed.

Yes, I admit that the monster of the day would get killed by the hands of the Sailor Guardians, but they also clearly showed that the monsters were not people or even alive. They were made of energy, clay or sand. When the monster of the day was a possessed innocent, they were saved through exorcism. Very rarely was an actual person ever killed and even when they were, it was either by the hands of another villain, their own hand, self defense or as a last resort. They never used killing as means of dealing with every single bad guy.

Furthermore, the bridge arc about the Makai Tree that also served as a prologue to Sailor Moon R could be seen as a story about mercy, kindness and love. It stands out as the one time the big bad was actually a misunderstood big good being the Makai Tree herself. And even Ail an An were never bad, but were raised bad. And even then, they changed. This story is unique only to the 90s so far, but it was great and stood out for that reason.

In Crystal, the heroines will kill a person without a second thought which I am shocked that no one brings up how repetitive and contradictory that is. The pretty warrior of love and justice should by all means protect the Earth, but doing so by killing off the bad guy all time is not love or justice. I also think the caption in this picture sums up how I feel about how the one and only time bad guys were given a chance to be redeemed...

Eternal was better because the Asteroid Guardians got redeemed and saved. However, even then, I feel like there is still a double standard. They were one of the good guys to begin with and Sailor Guardians. In the 90s, the Amazoness Quartet wasn’t, but were given a chance to change anyway. I find it cool that the Quartet turned out to be Sailors and even better that they will go on to become Chibi-Usa’s team, but mercy is not just for your allies or for your own benefit. Everyone should be given at least one chance to fix their mistakes.

5- We got to know Mamoru better. - I admit that no matter the incarnation, Tuxedo Mask will never be as powerful as Sailor Moon except when he is King Endymion, but the 90s take on his character made him better even if they did omit his super attack being Tuxedo le Smoking Bomber. What the well dressed masked man lacked in firepower, he made up for in intelligence, insight about the enemy’s weakness, courage and skill. The only times he ever did get overpowered was either by bad luck or because it was intentional because he was taking a hit for Sailor Moon. And even then, he always got back up. He’s a real man like that.

More importantly, we get to know him as Mamoru too. Even before he confides being an amnesiac to Usagi, we see his struggles with feeling alone in the world from having no memory of his life before a tragic accident which also killed his parents. Now, him being a stern cynical person makes sense because I probably wouldn’t be pleasant to be around either if I lived with that. Once his walls come down, we see that deep down, all he wants is to belong somewhere and have a family. It should also be noted that 90s Mamoru doesn’t love Usagi because he is “destined” to. He loves her because he wants to. Even during that brief period where he broke up with Usagi was an act of love. The thing I also always liked best about 90s Mamoru is that even though he loves Usagi more than life itself, his life doesn’t revolve around her which is a healthy thing and he tries to encourage Usagi to be the same way for her own good. He is studying to be a doctor, he has a job and he even has his own crowd which I think is great.

In Crystal and Eternal, while I do see an attempt at trying to follow this trend by showing that Usagi and Mamoru were on their way to falling in love even before they got their memories back, I still find he was one note and we never really learn much about him that has nothing to do with Tuxedo Mask, Endymion or anything royal related. Sure, we know that he’s studying to be a doctor and is a genius to an extent too, but that is it.

I would like to end this by admitting that the 90s was not perfect either, but out of all the takes on the tale of Sailor Moon as of date. Crystal and Eternal were ok, but they just cannot stand up to the quality of the 90s. The only thing I can say I find Crystal did better than the 90s were the costume designs. Specifically, how they let Venus keep her chain belt, Pluto’s key chain belt, Uranus and Neptune’s shorter gloves, Uranus’s sword, Uranus having two earrings, Mercury’s suit is shoulder less which I always found suited her better, and I liked Sailor Moon’s brooch and necklace better in season 1.

And even then, I should have liked it if Jupiter’s antenna was always on display as it is just something I always found cute in the manga, I liked Mars’ five point star earrings better in the 90s, and I like how in the 90s, each of the Inner Guardians’ sailor stripes were a little different.

Of course, this is all my opinion. I would like to hear which of the animes did Sailor Moon right in your opinion and why. Thanks for reading and stay safe, and have a great day.

#sailor moon anime #sailor moon reboot #sailor moon crystal #sailor moon eternal #pretty guardian sailor moon #pretty guardian sailor moon crystal #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #90s anime #sailor moon 90s #character development #storytelling #quality #critique

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mj-spooks · 2 years

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Okay this is apparently a thing so

Vox Machina, Episode 2: thoughts from someone who has never engaged with Critical Role beyond the bare minimum interaction w cosplaying friends and tumblr posts

- Sorry sorry I just. Cannot get over them having David “would blow away in a stiff breeze” Tennant voice this absolute unit of a General. That is. incredibly funny. to me. But also I... love him?

- “A storm’s blowing through tonight” with a knowing little grin DID I MANAGE TO, IN A SINGLE EPISODE, WITH VERY LITTLE SCREENTIME, DECIDE I LIKED A CHARACTER WHO IS SECRETLY A BAD GUY. AGAIN.

- In my defense! If I did! This time he’s voiced by David Tennant and I am. weak.

- I think you’re gonna need more soldiers there guys

- Yeah and through that whole thing, the general was MYSTERIOUSLY ABSENT. I’m right aren’t I. It’s okay show you can tell me now.

- And oh look he survived with barely a scratch even tho last we saw him he went into his tent and the whole camp was burned. I’m calling it I can’t help it guys I love betrayers and mutineers

- We appreciate the enthusiasm Scanlan but y’all are. A bit late.

- Okay okay okay so. If I’m right. Are Krieg and Sketchy Dude in it together, or is Sketchy Dude a red herring. They want to handle the issue very different ways, is this just to keep the council fighting about it while the dragon kills shit? But also Sketchy Dude seems almost TOO sketchy and this was a ttrpg and we all know how DM’s LOVE to make That One Sketchy NPC to throw the players off.

- I want Sketchy Dude to be not actually sketchy.

- Everybody loves the bear

- “I didn’t catch anybody’s name” MOOD GROG. MOOD.

- Did I mention that I also love flamboyant dramatic merchants?

- So did Vex send Pike with Vax just to make sure her brother didn’t get distracted with the merchant because if they flirted any harder their clothes would literally just melt off

- “foreplay’s over” Pike you’re no fun

- Scanlan no

- “Dick for brains” seems generous tbh

- Grog you are a braver man than I, for I would certainly not partake in any ale that Scanlan had thrown himself into

- Okay no Sketchy Dude (I know his name is Fince now but he’s still Sketchy Dude) is almost definitely a red herring they are playing this Spooky Ooky thing WAY too hard.

- SCANLAN YOU BETTER GET GROG A SANDWICH

- okay guys crisis averted Grog got a sandwich

- Grog wanting a sandwich made me want a sandwich and so now I’m eating Real Food. The Legend of Vox Machina therefore is self-care thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

- the least surprising thing ever is Scanlan’s door-opening song clearly being a sex joke. But I posit the only reason it didn’t work is because that’s obviously the front door, dummy.

- Are all of his songs like this? I can’t decide if I want the answer to be yes or no. But I have a feeling the answer is probably “at least a vast majority” so I’m going to decide I want them to be so it’s funny and not annoying.

- okay THANK YOU VAX because I was LITERALLY over here like “aren’t you a rogue? don’t you pick locks?” bonus points for chekov’s toothpicks justifying the sandwich that Grog so rightly deserved.

- Ah yes, the extremely ostentatious painting hung in the foyer so everyone knows how big and important I am. Elegant.

- “Or maybe we all just go check the cellar” Look Vax not all of us can roll great all the time okay

- Scanlan’s insults would all be very slut-shame-y if he were not, in fact, the biggest slut of them all.

- CALLED IT

- Ah, predictable character preferences, you never let me down

- OSTENTATIOUS PAINTING IN THE FOYER HAS BEEN OVERSHADOWED BY SEXY NAKED LADY PAINTING OHMYGODS

- Percy why would you ever tell a guy like Grog “don’t touch anything” that is the quickest way to make him touch something

- Oh good, distracted by the one thing in the room he literally CAN’T touch and in fact it is of benefit for him to’ve been distracted by, WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THE SEXY NAKED LADY OF COURSE

- DRAGON LAIR DRAGON LAIR DRAGON LAIR

- Love how Scanlan is the very essence of Bard Stereotypes and Vax consistently is the opposite of Rogue Stereotypes. Sure, hand the random child a silver coin, be more level-headed and reliable than the rest of the party, barely react to the giant piles of dragon gold compared to the almost whole rest of your party.

- I mean he is still stealing shit but. He didn’t race down the hill and start swimming in it like the rest of them.

- Vex. I appreciate you figuring it out. But why did it take that long.

- “Did he just say we” YEAH PERC GLAD YOU CAUGHT THAT TOO BECAUSE I’M-

- MOTHER FUCKERS HE *IS* THE DRAGON? OKAY DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING.

- They did not just cast David “disappears when he turns to the side” Tennant to play a Big Muscular Beefy General THEY CAST HIM AS A HUGE FUCKOFF DRAGON this is hilarious

- Brimscythe is a fucking bitchin’ dragon name

- “I’ve got a plan” “Another one?!” look technically the last plan did put you right where you need to be in order to fulfill your contract. so.

- lmaooo dragon too arrogant to realize IT WAS ALL A RUSE

- YEET THE ROGUE

- “I. WOULD LIKE. TO RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!”

- “Is he dead” I mean his head is in two pieces down the middle but maybe smash it a bit more to be sure

- One of two things is about to happen, either they’re gonna race to get out and then go “SHIT WE DIDN’T TAKE ANY GOLD” or, exactly that same thing happens but one of the party members casually slips a coin purse somewhere the others can’t see it like Altivo at the end of The Road to El Dorado.

- Oh no did Vex just. Straight up have an armful of gold? Hilarious.

- Scanlan also had gold but DROPPED IT YOU IDIOT

- Honorary members of the council seems like a bit much

- NO GOLD ALSKDJFASDKLJFASDLKF

- I mean... you’ll have a house? That’s... not nothing, at least? And “protectors” implies future work which implies pay? I assume?

- “Several dignitaries” hm I feel. like. this. will introduce the Briarwoods.

- *spongebob timecard voiceover* Two. Seconds. Later.

- Y’all some stupid bandits. To any and all aspiring bandits out there, if you pull over some super rich looking fucks to rob and they can’t be arsed to seem a little worried, you should probably just. let them go.

- Dude was already built like a brick house like it’s not as though he’s. not. intimidating.

- Anyway I know nothing about WHY the Briarwoods are bad I just know they are and it has something to do with Percy and he would very much like them dead.

#vox machina blogging #tlovm

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sergeant-angels-trashcan · 3 years

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canNOT decide which version of “Harry Wilson actually already knows Kate Bishop, thanks anyway” i like more:

Harry was one of Derek Bishop’s attorneys and he’s actually the one who cut Kate off

variations on “Harry worked for Derek”

he calls her now that he’s a good guy to talk to her about her dad’s company, he’s thinking of seeing if Leverage will go after Derek next, and he asks her to meet up with him

at like, an abandoned warehouse or something super sketch like that

and Kate says sure, but she’s ALSO not stupid, so she calls David and asks if he’ll go with her

David Hardison says yeah, his babes are going to be in New York that week so he’ll be able to spend time with them!!

They meet in the super sketchy warehouse and Harry’s all “Hardison? What are you doing here?” and Hardison is all “why the hell are you calling my friend Kate,” and Kate’s all “David why the hell do you know my dad’s asshole lawyer”

a hiLARious misunderstanding

Harry finds out Kate is Hawkeye and he’s like. okay. okay. i need a minute. i need to find someplace to sit down. you’re saying you could have sniped me at any moment, i just, i need a minute

if this is KateQuinn then Quinn goes with her, OBVIOUSLY

and Eliot goes with Harry because Harry lets slip he’s meeting up with someone who probably doesn’t like him very much

Eliot and Quinn are both checking the perimeter and run into each other. they start fighting before they realize who they are

and then it’s lots of back slapping and “dude!”

Eliot rolls his eyes so hard when he finds out Harry is here to see Kate

if he’d been less secrety, they could have had this meeting somewhere with less water damage

harry has a lil crush on quinn

PERHAPS Kate goes to meet Harry, but this time she’s bringing her OWN lawyers, Matt and Foggy, who Harry ALSO knows

and he’s just like, fuck, fuck, i CANNOT catch a break

OR. Leverage is working an unrelated gig and Kate just happens to be at the party they are at to work the mark

Harry and Kate lock eyes and she. the look she gives him. it’s a MURDER look.

and harry’s just like shit shit shit. i think she knows i helped her dad put a hit on an avenger. how does she know.

Eliot intercepts her before she gets to Harry because Kate can legitimize the con and she’s helped them before

Kate realizing Harry is on the earbuds and straight up threatening him with murder when she’s done

MattKate version where they’re at the party and Matt can tell Harry has the earbud in and tells Kate it’s David’s team

Kate stalks up to Harry and says something to the effect of “say hi to david for me” and Eliot and Parker start freAKIng out because yay!!! kate!!!

they tell Harry what to say so Kate doesn’t deck him and ruin the con

at some point Eliot goes “i think Kate’s lawyer boyfriend is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen”

“the BLIND LAWYER?”

“it’s a very distinctive stance!”

Harry realizes he not only helped Derek put a hit on an avenger but also his own daughter and harry has a meltdown

they’re running the info on their next job, which is bishop publishing, and Kate walks in, sees Harry, LAUNCHES herself at him, and decks him

cut to harry with a bag of frozen peas against his face while Eliot tries not to laugh

Harry put together the prenup for Derek and wife #5 and went to the wedding. He had the good fortune to sit next to Kate who was guessing how long the marriage would last and how much everything cost like “these super ugly floral arrangements could have funded the meal programs in three schools”

kate kind of hates everything, so harry asks why she even came?

she wanted to glare at her dad the whole night. just enough to make him and the bride uncomfortable

“she’s my age. that’s very ew.”

“to be fair, she’s almost thirty, once you hit thirty age differences are less--”

“i know how old she is, we graduated high school together.”

“ah, yep. ew.”

the wedding was held at an art museum or something

kate: i know someone who stole this painting once.

harry: ha. ha. ok.

somehow convinced harry to steal some champagne and go into an off limits area to play beer pong with champagne

“i didn’t go to college right after high school, this is what college is like, yeah?”

“it is absolutely not”

he says something about her inheritance and she snorts. she’s not in the will.

harry thinks he could probably write her back into it and no one would know

he’s impressed she has her own business

she’s not impressed he works for her dad

he humblebrags about his daughter

kate: u know what would piss my dad off

harry: i do not.

kate:

harry: no. absolutely no. nope.

kate: :(

they keep running into each other

kate sneaks into her dad’s new year’s eve party (she was not invited)

she’s planning on stealing some data from him. like crime data

harry has no idea she wasn’t invited, he’s just like “thank fuck someone fun”

at midnight they do the “should we?” awkward shoulder bob thing and give each other a respectful lil smooch

people start to leave and Kate has to bounce before her dad notices her

Harry of course is all “i should walk you home or to a cab, it’s late, who knows what could happen”

which to Kate is the equivalent of a puppy barking at a vacuum

anyway at some point they probably make out

and then Kate realizes Harry’s a sketchy kind of lawyer and nopes out immediately

cut to a year later, Eliot’s telling the team that Hawkeye is going to be joining them on this job for some unspecified reason

everyone is mildly insulted at how surprised Harry is that they know an Avenger

Breanna is SO EXCITE. She temped for Kate one time and they accidentally blew up some dickbag’s bitcoin mining operation because he was stealing electricity from a poor neighborhood

to clarify, FINDING the guy was an accident, the explosion was planned

Alec had given them his “i’m very disappointed” face when he found out. apparently Kate is immune to that face

but the whole point of working with kate was to not do crime so alec was all “no more temp for you”

but basically everyone knows which Hawkeye Eliot is talking about and they’re all really excited and don’t worry, Harry, Hawkeye is cool

and in comes Kate

she and Harry see each other and freeze all YOU

and of course EVERyone in that room either knows how to read people or is being trained to read people so they’re all going oH WHAT. WHAT. SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH THE TWO OF YOU OH OHHHHH

“what are you doing here, sketchy-ass lawyer man?”

“it’s mr. sketchy ass lawyer man to you, and what do you mean what am i doing here, what are you doing here?”

“so i guess you two know each other,” Eliot says

“yeah???” goes kate “he’s one of my dad’s douchebag lawyers!”

“ex douchebag lawyer.”

eventually it gets to harry going “wait, I thought hawkeye was coming?” and all of the rest of leverage going “she’s Here!” and waving in Kate’s direction

Harry is quiet for a minute and then is like “i guess that’s why you laughed at me when i offered to walk you home on new year’s”

“i didn’t MEAN to laugh”

OR Harry represented Derek against Kate

OR Harry was originally Kate’s council as part of Derek Bishop’s team of lawyers, and then when Kate realized her dad was a criminal it became Harry’s job to make her go away and stop causing a ruckus so Kate’s only reason for agreeing to help is on the off chance she gets to punch him

harry comes in to meet their newest client and is all ???? the fuck is that vapid heiress doing here, how does someone like her warrant our help

and of course kate is like, tf is that asshole doing here, mr hey-derek-let’s-hide-some-of-your-money-offshore like THAT’s not super sus

at some point he sees her and eliot sparring and harry just. bluescreens. does not compute.

he never had to deal with kate personally but stories about her are legendary, she’s the WORST kind of young money. reckless spending. drinks like the world is going to end. will snort anything.

and here she is. an actual superhero. who apparently uses partying as a cover for vigilantism. and knows how to fool a breathalyzer into thinking she’s drunk when she’s not

he feels bad for whoever her legal council is now. imagine having to deal with that.

turns out he’s her legal council now. whoops.

someone points out that they’re all sort of vigilantes

and someone--either Parker or Kate--goes, “we’re not vigilantes, we’re a vigilanTEAM”

harry has the most profound moment of “were it not for the laws of this land i would have slaughtered you where you stand” he’s ever had in his life

#leverage #leverage redemption #kate bishop #hawkeye #young avengers #harry wilson #our mr. wilson #david alleyne #alec hardison #eliot spencer #mr. quinn #obsessed with this idea

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