#also ignore the wack perspective

[je-riais]

I’m a really slow writer so here’s a scene from that FWB AU that’s rotating in my brain right now.

Corded phones cause it’s set in the 90’s

#cherik #revivecherik #my art #FWB au #please ignore the absolutely WACK perspective in panel 3 #I actually abhore drawing backgrounds and I went and did it twice #also this is the first time I’ve ever drawn a comic page which is absolutely wild

[jade-len]

gonna be reading the husky and his white cat shizun vol 1 for the first time, so i've decided to humiliate my future self by making predictions based on the summary or whatever rn. feel free to laugh at me if i get things terribly wrong

just based on the cover, im thinking mo ran was this determined, loyal, and playful guy maybe? awfully trusting? idk he just kinda gives off jokingly smug energy and is probably un serious most of the time which gets on the other guy's nerves. or, he's just. super dedicated. though maybe he's a little overbearing with it?

in the extra picture, his shizun has this armor arm (but not on the cover?), which, to me, implies that something pretty wack happens, leaving him needing to replace it with that badass magic steel limb. mayyybeee this happened in mo ran's old life already or this is a new thing that surprises him

probably really looked up to his quiet shizun, who can be quite easy to annoy (mo ran annoys him to no end because of his constant yapping idk) but would never actually lay a hand on his disciples? or just be pretty light compared to the other shizuns either bc he prefers to use other ways as punishment or doesn't feel the need to for one reason or another. elegant and refined, but maybe a little lazy. he doesn't really look like the type of person to go out of their way to punish or fight

something happened that was actually just this huge misunderstanding or his shizun had to do something pretty fucked which led mo ran into complete despair, being betrayed by his teacher (trust and abandonment issues? yes please). before, he had a crush on his shizun but didn't really realize it? but now he couldn't care less than to create this super elaborate revenge plan, those unknown feelings either buried or wiped clean away

mo ran was low-key depressed after becoming emperor because it purely just to fuck with his shizun and make things terrible and out of spite or whatever. so then he ended his life because nothing was going his way, expecting to be happy with his path of revenge. but now that he's back in time, he goes, "oh i should play it smarter this time, now that i know of my shizun's true nature! i'll get him back. maybe if i get rid of him early, then i wont have to suffer longer. i'll also get revenge on everyone else earlier!" or smth like that idk

but of course, his plans kinda get fucked and slowly he starts seeing sides to his shizun that he didn't see before bc he heavily idolized him in his past life, ignoring everything else. his newfound hatred has kinda brought a new perspective? which is surprisingly helpful but also not, since he's now villainizing his every move and is super distrustful.. straight up in denial about his shizun's good deeds. maybe mo ran will instinctually save him at one point and beat himself over it, or his shizun will save him even though he really, REALLY had no reason to/actively went out of his way which really messes up mo ran's feelings.

anyways, i'll be off to read it now. we shall see how wrong i am lmao

#im gonna get things terribly wrong i know #idk what else to expect besides that im just yapping #expecting this to be much more serious than svsss #no dick jokes here alright.... #looking at u cumplane #i think itd be a cool plot twist if his shizun actually time traveled back in time too/remembered everything #and was nicer to mo ran or whatever. tryna prevent his death n stuff #or because he doesnt want mo ran to become a tyrant #so things change.....? #and then mo ran finds out and he thinks 'that fucker only changed bc of this and that not bc he actually cared abt me' #yeah idk #im a little too used to svsss #lol #mo ran #chu wanning #the husky and his white cat shizun #2ha #2ha novel

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 139 'Early' Analysis

Finally we're back into the fun chapters.

So this is a bit of interesting confirmation as to what happened at the end of Part 1. As a recap Pochita separated from Denji and become the Black Chainsaw man.

This confirms that the Hybrids that fought Pochita all retained the memories of the events. It also makes the weird Makima self insert fanfiction even more weird. Based on what Miri (Sword Man) says about regaining his freedom after Makima's death, they all seemed to be completely aware of their actions but unable to fight against them.

He MADE them say this shit. They are all aware of this having happened. THEY WERE AWARE WHILE THEY WERE FORCED TO PLAY THIS SHIT OUT! Fucking Nightmare scenario. Glad Denji ate her.

We get a name of Sword Man, Miri Sugo. We also get some more of his personality. I'm sure there will be speculation as to his sexuality because he's a character in chainsaw man.

What I do wanna touch on is this. I've seen a few interpretations of this line. It's a weirder one because it's clearly referencing the fact Miri's design is a reused version of Denji's beta versions.

But it could also mean they find Denji attractive. BUT it could also be a meta reference to the fact they're both hybrids, So they have similar "Auras" or something like that. I actually didn't remember who the student council president was so I had to look it up, And it's fucking Iseumi.

and honestly, I can kind of see how a combination of him and Denji would make Miri. Miri took Iseumi's eyes and hair color while he took the hair and head shape from Denji. Sorta interesting.

This whole scene strikes me as weird from a fandom perspective. Either people use it to say, "Miri is gay" or "Miri hates women". When in reality it doesn't seem to be either (for now). He literally stated moments ago that he didn't want to be bothered by anyone and these three girls come up and start bugging him with questions and requests he doesn't want to deal with. Most people would be annoyed as hell if this scenario happened to them. Denji obviously doesn't get this and is just mad that he's getting female attention.

I'm going to assume that this is still Denji hustling and this SEX OFFENDER paid him. I REALLY hope that he didn't just let her do this for free. We get full confirmation that the Weapon Hybrids are alive. We don't have confirmation as to which, Just that some of them are. I assume this probably means all the hybrids that fought against Pochita are alive.

oh I HATEEEEEEE how she gets along with Denji.

This woman needs to get the fuck off this MINOR

As much as I despise this woman, She has a point. Fami and some unknown figure have been puppeteering the Church (how realistic) for at least the past few days. It's likely been going on since the church was founded since we see Fami with the devil hunter club.

We get a look at Denji's full speed. This means Denji was able to perception blitz Miri to appear in front of him without him noticing. This means that Denji was able to move at approximately Mach 32. All of this is real look none of this up Denji solos demon slayer or whatever fuckin power scaling bullshit.

Looks like the next few chapters will be built around the church. It also likely means we'll be seeing Reze soon. If Asa is also there, I hope this doesn't turn into some wack love triangle shit. I REALLY hope Reze isn't like "You were trying to date other girls while you thought I was dead??". I have faith Fujimoto will handle it well but it has an un-ignorable chance to becoming fucking awful.

#chainsaw man #miri sugo #denji hayakawa #csm #csm 139

[sidsinning]

What's your personal opinion about Snow White? There's apparently a comic from the movie that expands on Snow's perspective, also more interaction with the prince

She's a little girl so a lot of flack she gets I'm like she's literally a child so you gotta take that into account when criticizing her character. I think she doesn't have enough agency in her own story overall, but being degraded for being good at domestic chores and taking care of the dwarves is so wack. It's literally her best part of the movie because it's when SHE gets to do something to better her situation on her own. Yalls think you could take care of a household at 14 years old for 7 nasty ass stinky ass men while not even complaining and smiling throughout? While grappling with the fact that your step mom who forced you to wear rags and clean the floors everyday tried to assassinate you? NOT ME. NOT ME EVEN IN COLLEGE LOL. Domestic duties are not something to look down upon, shit is hard work!

Though ofc I understand how this negatively reflects on women back then bc it was a role they were forced to accept as their station in life, the housewife. But now looking back on it in 2022, the movie's timelessness and overall message can resonate with women in a new and flattering light.

It would definitely be interesting seeing her thoughts more throughout the movie like this comic you're referring to!

THE PRINCE IS FUCKING 31 YEARS OLD IDK IF YALLS KNEW THAT BUT I'M DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO IGNORE EVERY PART OF THE MOVIE HE IS PRESENT

#snow white and the seven dwarfs #snow white #disney #ask

[adrianasunderworld]

so i dont see anywhere on your bio or pinned that says if your requests/asks are open so i will tentatively assume they are

(trigger/content warning for manslaughter, suicide (in that it is manslaughter disguised as suicide), dissociation, hanging, descriptions of blood, etc. like seriously its wack. also spoilers for OMORI if you haven't finished that game)

so in the headmistress rosehearts au with all of the bs going on, there has to come a point where yuu simply snaps. and many people break differently, some have a fit, some cave in on themselves, etc.

and in this state, its common to do things without thinking, things that you may even regret. and since omori is currently my hyperfixation, and i hate myself, lets do a thing, shall we?

so imagine this.

-----

ms rosehearts is, once again, making a big stink about something not very important. lets assume you goofed on a potion in class that day, and the mistress is here to deal with that personally.

from an outside perspective, you are clearly not there. you're standing there, head down, completely silent, nearly deaf to the belligerent nonsense spewing from ms rosehearts mouth.

you clench your fists, and start to try to walk away.

you are alone here.

ms rosehearts grabs your wrist, yelling about how she isnt finished, and that disobedience like this will not be tolerated. standing against the staircase, her voice taking on a whole new volume as she screeches endlessly about their insolence.

but you are. you are finished. all these emotions, hatred and resentment, and an overbearing exhaustion weighing on every bone.

why cant she just shut up?

a hand grasps the lady's dress.

another braces itself against the railing.

and

you

pushed.

the headmistress fell like a tower of cards, a flash of terror washing over her face in a fraction of a second. there was barely a moment to let out an aborted scream before her skull crunched against the railing, and she plummeted limply to the ground, sprawling out against the tile floor.

a race of footsteps quickly approached, alerted by the noise.

you stared down blankly from the top, your shadow blocking any light from reaching the woman's face.

ms rosehearts was faced downward, so its not like anyone would see her expression as is, but a faint part in the back of your brain told them it wouldn't matter anyway.

voices sounded from a nearby hall, getting closer. some were familiar, but you couldn't tell what they were saying.

you kept your eyes on the body, even as red began to seep from its skull in a puddle, like a perverted halo.

staring, waiting. for something to happen? you didn't know. should you feel something here? you thought you should. maybe. maybe not. maybe if you kept looking at it, you would.

why doesn't it feel real yet?

somebody is climbing the stairs. approaching you? passing you? you can't tell. you don't really want to know, anyway. so you keep staring.

"--u."

"y-u. pl--s-."

"yu-, pl--s- t-l- -- w--t -a--en-d."

"y--, a--w-r -e. a-- y-- o-a-?"

...

"YUU!"

it was only reflex that made you look. someone was there, crouching down to you, staring you down with emotions you didn't feel like parsing out. were they scared? you thought they shouldn't be. nothing was wrong.

you look back down again.

she was still there? why was she still there?

... maybe she needs to sleep. is she tired?

you don't look at the person, they should agree with you. maybe while ms rosehearts is asleep you can have some peace.

that would be nice.

you pull her up by her arms, ignoring the red that drips down onto your uniform. its okay. it'll go away.

head wounds always look more severe than they usually are, right? thats what ms rosehearts taught you, anyway. she'll be fine.

she's just tired.

but she's not really that heavy, like you thought she would be. she's pretty light. she really should be heavier.

it doesn't take long before you bring her down on a bed.

and wait.

you wait a while.

maybe she's just really tired.

what if..

what if she won't wake up?

no, no... she has to. she has to wake up. you don't know what you would tell everyone if she didn't. riddle is your friend, you wouldn't do that to him.

she has to wake up.

"yu-, -le-se."

"she -s no- waki-g u-."

"-uu, lo-k at me. she is dead."

she is dead.

she's dead? you bring back your gaze to her body.

lifeless.

oh my god.

she is dead.

what do you do?

how. how are you going to explain this? nobody will believe you if you tell the truth.

.. it was an accident, right?

a soft grip holds your hands.

"listen to me. we can fix this. nobody will have to know."

SOMEONE's eyes glow in the darkness. it begs you to trust it. it says... that everything will be okay. all you have to do is follow its lead.

you don't have a choice, do you? this is the only way out. even if it's unspeakable. everything has to be okay.

you pick up the body, and carry it down the staircase. nobody is here, but you feel eyes on you anyway. you ignore it. she is light in your hands. this is a dream.

faintly, you hear the creak of an opening door. SOMEONE beckons you forward. a light breeze presses your face, and the evening light meets your eyes, but you ignore it. you need to wake up.

you lay down ms roseheart's body in the grass. you do not look at her, keeping your eyes on the trees. everything will be okay.

you think you see a figure pick something up from the ground. you aren't sure. you dig your nails into your palms, hoping for one last shock to bring you out of here, to leave this nightmare. nothing happens.

SOMEONE paces back and forth in the corner of your vision. you keep looking at the trees.

shuffling... dragging... creaking... and pulling... all these sounds come and go, yet you refuse to acknowledge them. something is happening. you don't know what. maybe you can wake up again.

a hand rests on your shoulder. gently, another guides your face back down. a voice tells you to look at them.

its... riddle. his eyes are so tired, and tears are making their way down his face. the grey of his eyes looks almost white.

it dawns on you. this is real. everything was real.

he leads you back into the building, hand on your back urging you forward. you look back and you see it.

it sways in the wind.

haggard and unkempt, ms rosehearts would have never allowed herself to look like this. but she isn't here. her body is a shell.

everything should be okay now. it's over, you did what you were told to do, so now everything should be okay. you feel like you should feel bad for thinking like this. yet still you feel at peace. this is it. everything is okay now.

(you're a murderer.)

riddle follows your gaze, and stops. his eyes are wide awake, frozen in terror. you follow his line of sight.

an eye meets yours. your body grows cold.

you shouldn't have looked.

-----

anyway that'd be so fucked up right??? (yes halfway through is basically a rewritten version of the truth photo transcripts, stfu). WOW this is long my apologies oof

like just imagine how ruined riddle would be. his friend accidentally fucking murdered his mom, dissociated for like 20 minutes- totally unaware of how exactly both their lives have fallen apart, mind you- and then he had to help cover up what yuu did by making it seem like a suicide because otherwise yuu wouldn't be able to live at the school anymore, with no way to defend themselves because they currently had no understanding of what they did or what happened in the last hour.

riddle is a basil kinnie and that is the worst thing that he has ever discovered about himself

Literally your timing with this could not have been more impeccable. Literally the day before this ask was submitted was when my brother started Omori. I have not played, I was only with him for the very start, only up to the part where they go to the picnic and can save. So I don't know what Basil did.

Anyway, I love dark/horror stuff like this. It's fascinating to think about the state of mind of the character. Like what could have been going through Riddles mind in that moment? The decision to help Yuu and not avenge his mother. Very telling of who in this au is more important to him.

Also ngl, I thought for a second the SOMEONE beckoning Yuu was going to be Crowley. Like he was going to pop out and this was his revenge on Mrs.Rosehearts for taking his job and so he can come back, and this would be yet another thing for him to dangle over Yuus head to get his way.

#twisted wonderland #tw blood #tw suicide mention #tw manslaughter #riddle rosehearts #headmistress rosehearts au

[moerusai]

Sorry if someone beat me to it and if so feel free to ignore this, but ask and you shall receive! TELL ME HOW MO!!! HOW DO YOU DO YOUR MAGIC?! because honestly it blows me away every time and I would really really love to know. 💖💖💖

@teddybluesclues also asked:

HOW DID YOU DO THE COLORED EYE EFFECT IN THE WEREWOLF!AU? :D

Kay, so the idea for this video/gifset was conceived back in… August (yeah that's how long I'd been pushing it back).

I could have gone with a still edit or maybe just the gifs and limit the number of frames to make my life easier but nah. My tired and wired brain which started this 2 days before Halloween said: you're gonna do this and you're gonna do it properly.

So it took 5 - 6 hours to bring this 30-sec fever dream to life 😂. And the secret is *jazz hands*: tracking (basic tut).

The insanely stripped down process for each eye goes like this:

Track it

Slap the colored pupil on

Key out the white (so the pupil fits nicely)

Bonus: keyframe the opacity for fade in/out.

Repeat that 9 more times. Sounds easy enough, right? Except...

Challenge 1: there's 7 sec (183 frames to be exact) of them standing sideways in a medium shot so their eyes are a pain to key out.

Had to make colored pupil 3D because perspectives. Kinn's eye took a whiiiile to get right.

Challenge 2: In the same shot, Kinn fucking blinks TWICE, which naturally throws the tracking and keying off, so I have to go over 'em manually.

This is on me, I knew what I signed up for when I chose this scene lmao. There's 2 hidden cuts to make it shorter tho.

His eyes + eyelash lines are also very dark (love that for him, except) that means mapping them out is a taaaad bit more difficult.

Challenge 3: Porsche's not entirely cooperative either (see those keyframes? More than half were created manually ahahaha).

Truth be told, this scene was chosen after a very thorough selection process (sorry to ep 7, ep 9 & ep 12). His eyes are just so goddamn pretty here and the sniffing and sexual tension and power play.

Porsche's eyes were admittedly a lot more easy to track than Kinn's. Each eye in the first solo shot took 10 - 15 min.

But that last shot… Baby is so sad and nervous and disappointed his eyes flutter and move everywhere. Which again, throws the tracking out of wack. So there goes 2 hours tracking those pretty. sad. phoenix. eyes.

Thank you for letting me rant. Now you know what madness drove me to make this 😂.

#asks #moerusai #kinnporsche #my editing process #after effects #vfx #werewolf #who knows maybe werewolf!KP will make a reappearance? 👀

[regi572]

Had an very bizarre vivid dream this morning, which is probably going to read like a mad conspiracy theory, but the more I thought about it, the more entertaining it was. I am not reading into this at all, moreso shocked I dreamt this all myself lol.

So this entire dream started with the idea of somebody in the dream asking if aliens were always here, or just recently here, and they function more or less like us in terms of mental capacity, however they exist on a higher dimension, so we only ever get hints of them when they pass through our dimmension either intentionally or unintentionally.

------

(Additional background) So I guess the idea of this stemmed from a video I watched months back about some dude who conceptionally made a 4D version of minecraft where the greater idea is that 4D entities would have total visibilty of the entirety of our 3D dimmension, but then can see every other parallel 3D dimmension adjacent to ours and can travel freely between them.

And I was also going down the SCP wiki rabbit hole back in 2021, so there are instances where things could exist that technically are 4D objects, but have different properties if you can pass through them (like say there is a 4D tunnel, it might give you the ability to pass through 4D space and spit you out on the other side, but the properties are all out of wack when you are inside, and when you are outside, it just looks like a hole in the wall or something)

------

So the dream starts in a near future where things have all of a suddon become so automated to the point, that we kinda just exist in this distopian future of living in your home, but you never leave because all media and sustinance are provided for you. For example, your fridge and pantry are always restocked, and you have ready access to connect with anyone you know through some for of media chamber where you can directly interact with a friends avatar (kinda similar to vrchat, but more directly linked. I guess like VR chat meets the SAO neurolink)

However something odd changes in your habitat.. You notice that occasionally your fridge is not stocked correctly (you can submit a support ticket, and usually it is remediated by the next day). Occassionally while you are walking around your habitat, you bump into what feels like another person sometimes, but there is never really anything there. You try to bump into that object again, but it just seems to not be there at all so you start to ignore it. But it keeps happening more and more frequently, and when you bring it up to your friends, they begin to think you are going crazy. "There is clearly nothing there, are you sure you aren't just losing your mind or something?"

--- Perspective shifts to third person ---

The world zooms out to what appears to be what can best be described as an ants nest enclosure. You look around and there appears to be an entire organization of individuals monitoring and interacting with these ant habitats. Kinda like a lab, but not(?). As you look closer at the habitiat in front of you, you see what is a projected interpretation of your own living space. An individual appears to be responsible for providing nutrition, pulling trash out of the habbitat, and linking the "media" room with mutltiple other habitats. Turns out, these individuals are observing and caring for this distopian lifestyle, as for the humans in the habitats, they cannot see outside of their dimmension. But these individuals can see everything.

Your 'caretaker' starts going rogue however. After what was initially an accident, they noticed that they can start planting higher dimmensional objects where they shouldn't be. At one point, they add an item to the habbitat, that when the human walks into it, it pulls them through a long tunnel structure outside of their dimmension, essentially making them fall for what feels like 10x the lenght of what they can visibly see of the tunnel.

--- Perspective shifts back to first person of the human ---

After numerous encounters, your reality feels like it is falling apart. Tunnels that make 0 sense. It feels like someone is intentionally putting objects in your way so you hit them, but you can never see them, and you can never find them again.

Occasionally you feel someone actually tapping on your face and shoulder. But at one point, as you are starting to mentally break down from not understanding what is happening, something is tapping on your nose repeatedly. You shout "Listen I know you are fucking with my nose, would you please fucking stop!?"

--- Perspective shifts back to third person ---

You see the entity with their "hand" in your habitat. A guard walks up to them.

.... And that's when I woke up this morning. lol

#dream

[retelling-of-ragnarok]

I’m not sure if I should ask this to you, or Auren’s admin. But: Has Gwen ever talked about other characters before? If not, hypothetically— How would Auren react to Gwen talking about any of the other canon characters/ocs?

❆ You can ask either of us!!! I decided to do Richter, with the addition of Ryuuto ( @fruit-of-infidelity ) bc not only does Gwen have different ways of talking about them— Auren’s DRASTICALLY different reactions to Gwen talking about them are hilarious to me. 😭

Gwen basically uses Auren as their talking outlet. So y’know. During their regular visits to Vibora territory,Gwen just sorta rambles about all that’s happened. So they’ve likely gone from COMPLAINING about Richter. Y’know being grumpy about the way he acts, how cruel he is, how they wish for some piece and quiet and whatnot.

And Auren ALREADY doesn’t like him, (which the reason as to why is fucking HILARIOUS) so its expression is just: “🙄😐”

But don’t think it didn’t notice that slight inflation in Gwen’s tone when they started talking about his kid 🤨. Like Gwen of all people being interested in someone? ENTERTAINED? BY SOMEONE ELSE? 🤨 Auren really whipped it’s head around like:

“say sike rn.”

especially since it’s Richter’s kid bro. like the same man gwen was just complaining about 🤨 eye rolling, slumped posture, not a vivid expression in sight? oh but NOW all of a sudden they’re posing some interesting conversation, being expressive and engaging 🤨 AND FOR WHO? THE MAN’S KID? Wack 🙄✋

Nah but again. Auren already (jokingly) dislikes Richter bc they think he’s boring, too serious, AND he has no pizazz to his wardrobe. AUREN THINKS HE’S DEPRESSING 😭✋. So hearing Gwen talk with so much interest about Ryuuto really gave it whiplash 😭 (it would def also get really jealous. bc why can’t gwen talk about IT like that 🤨 even though they do but auren’s ignoring that point—)

ANYWAYS I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION!!! But also feel free to ask @sincerest-aa , if you’d like a different POV 💪😎

BUT THIS IS ALSO *IF* GWEN WERE TO TALK TO AUREN ABOUT THESE TWO TOGETHER. Gwen already rambles on about Richter since both they and Auren know him. I mainly added Ryuuto to give some perspective on diff characters 😞💪 (and auren would have the funniest reactions to these two. such DRASTICALLY different emotions for characters who are literally related is hilarious to me. )

and ofc Ava im so sorry for the random tag pls forgive me 🙇🙏🤲 i hope you don’t mind me using your boy for reactions like these— IF ITS A PROBLEM THOUGH DONT HESITATE TO TELL ME. ❆

#ask.stuff #anonymous #((auren thinking richter’s boring #((then theres me WORSHIPING THE MAN #((also gwen just #((‘yeah anyways so his KID right—‘ #((aint nothing like frolicking with your cowoker’s kid ☝️ #((NAH BUT FR AUREN WAS REALLY LIKE ‘repeat that for me?’ #gwen exicor #auren archambault #richter sakamaki #sakamaki richter #ryuuto sakamaki #sakamaki ryuuto

[unhingedfrog]

I drew a screencap from spiderman: homecoming in this colour scheme!

#i didnt have markers thar matched the exact colours #also ignore the wack perspective #spiderman homecoming #spiderman #mcu #peter parker #marvel #colour schemes #tom holland

[alltheusernamesaretaken24]

Thinking about Spirit Phone again...

#ALSO I have had Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde stuck in my head #ignore the shaky lines my hands are terrible #and my program has no line stabilisers #nothing even remotely similar #so I’m just left to suffer #anyway #invader zim #zim #dib #dib membrane #professor membrane #iz fanart #my art #ALSO ignore the wack perspective on Dib’s arms #they look wack

[hotelkumasutra]

thank you for everything, komaeda♥

#hehe spot the herobrine :) #izuru is supposed to be a lantern fish visiting the top of the sea #this will be ignored since it has too many inside jokes and his birthday is almost over but idc! this is for u mr maeda #nagito komaeda #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2: goodbye despair #danganronpa #hajime hinata #komahina #kiibo #chiaki nanami #minecraft gang #makoto naegi #dr1 #ndrv3 #my brother asked if a drone was taking the pic skdjfj #my art #ultcc #also the perspective is wack but this had to be posted on time u know😔

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hey idk if you're doing these rn, and I'm sorry if you aren't, but i was wondering: do you have any head canons for trans!kiryu? If that's even one of your head canons.

no worries, I'll take headcanon requests anytime! I don't particularly have trans hcs for characters since it's not an experience I personally relate to/have thorough knowledge about other than my trans friendos but I don't mind giving it a try!

I think he's super trans positive obvs but for the longest time he wasn't necessarily that kind to himself. He's often the bearer of burdens and feels the need for self punishment so I feel like he would struggle with such a concept that he can change himself and feel better about it. A man who struggles to self practice what he preaches in a sense, self doubt and all that

he's also prolly super ignorant of things. Like, doesn't know the meaning of terms or the nuances of it all. Not necessarily a bad thing of course, just when he's talking to other people about it he'll sound confused or get things wrong with the best intentions of course. He was raised very simply and I highly doubt Kazama was a fountain of knowledge for him. I would think he'd support Kiryu cuz that's his fav boy but outside of that he's like aight do whatever you gotta do kiddo, anyway keep beating up people with stop signs

Kiryu leans heavily into masculine behaviors and idealisms since his whole worldview has been brought up by these tough, manly yakuza dudes that he at one point idolized and that's just how he thinks men should be. So he becomes overly stoic, flatly emotional and strong. Values fights and muscles and manly shit like gut punching. Maybe it takes him a long time to realize things aren't so black and white but it makes it hard for him to open up and express himself. He's terrified of people finding out in such a hypermasculine community so he's easy to clam up and treat things with his fists over conversation unless proven otherwise

Nishiki would totally be the supportive best bro, helping him with confidence and day to day living n all that. Lil stuff that makes Kiryu feel normalized and cozy. Kiryu can be one for exaggeration but he likes to take things slow and feel like he's just another person. Nishiki could definitely keep things light hearted

because I can't NOT mention Majima in 99% of what I do, he would be super supportive of Kiryu. He treats everything so casually that Kiryu is actually taken off guard many times, not used to someone who doesn't really give a damn about how someone lives their life. It's comforting to know someone as wack ass as Majima would be outright accepting and very likely violently protective 

Haruka! I think at some point he'd have to explain everything to her - after like, really educating himself without fumbling over words or terminology and ends up doing that anyway but she gets the gist. Frankly she prolly understands more than he does and she helps him out, being really forthcoming and accepting. He's her dad in the end and that makes him happy. This also makes him pretty familiar with feminine issues n things so that’s a unique perspective for her growing up

I think he’d be really proud of that facial hair he has. He keeps it nice n groomed and was quite happy when it first came in. Same goes for his body. He likes to keep toned in that masculine way he wants to be. He probably was a lil unsure about things when he first started transitioning but Nishiki could have been there to help out and really encourage him

I hope this was good! I can't speak for the trans experience personally so I had a lil help from some of my pals. I like to talk about feelings and acceptance which really resonates with me so I hope I got that across

#hope it's aight I don't mention things like surgery n stuff #I don't particularly have any strong hcs for that so I'll leave it to yall #I'm about that genderfluid life but this was fun to think about! #long post #my art #my hcs #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #nishikiyama akira #trans!kiryu

[worldbuildguild]

Hello! :D I draw everyday and I do love it, but It always feels like I'm not good enough. People around tell me my drawings are good but I kinda never really belive them. How do I stop di feeling? How can I actually feel satisfaction out of my art? Thank you for all you do and I hope you are all having a good time

Hello :) !  It is good that you are enjoying your craft, hold on to that feeling, and keep finding out the exact reasons why - cause that is what is going to pull you through the slumps when your confidence takes a dip. Which - in my experience, it will do regularly. 

“I don’t feel as good as people tell me i am.” 

Not feeling worthy of the praise you’re getting is very very normal, and nothing to be afraid of. Many people will default to a humble rejection of any praise, since we are raised to not be prideful in the face of others. This keeps us from coming off as arrogant, though - of course, striding down the path of self-deprecation and outright rejecting people’s compliments is first and foremost; rude to the people who compliment you, but also doing yourself a disservice. 

Let’s forget about the courtesy of acknowledging people’s compliments for a moment and take an introspective look at ourselves. 

https://thevirtualinstructor.com/blog/5-reasons-why-you-cant-draw

See yourself as the world around you, sees you

It is easy to think of oneself as just another speck among a thousand stars, especially if you move in the artistic circles on the internet, where it can seem like you are measured up against millions upon millions of artists. How can your work stand out if there are so many people out there with more technical skill, more vivid imagination and more knowhow than you?

Truthfully, the online experience is deceitful.  The access you have to those inumerable artists do not reflect the reality of which you live. 

Think about it.  How many artists lives in your town? Perhaps many, but certainly not as many as on the internet.  How many artists do you think your peers and acquintances know of in real life?  Some probably, but not that many.  How many artists do you think your friends and family know?  You. They know you. 

The perspective of the internet does not correspond in 1:1 in real life. the people who compliment you do so based on their individual experience with artists, and those vary a whole lot. But commonplace for all of them is that they don’t know thousands upon thousands of artists in person. Half of them probably “Can’t even draw a stick figure”.  This makes their compliment geniuen. To them, you are skillfull, you are competent and you are good at drawing. Take that to heart, cause even if they’re ignorant to the craft at large, you have still enriched their lives and left an impression. And that is valueable. 

https://nohat.cc/f/two-serious-artist-working-with-paintbrush-and-palette/4749506203615232-201903270339.html

“But what about ‘objective’ skillfullness, Wacks. Surely, there is a fixed ladder to climb when you want to ‘get good’ at art. “ What do compliments mean if they don’t come from people knowing what they’re talking about. 

All right, all right.  But for that we need to take a step back.  Sometimes, compliments from people ignorant to the craft can only do so much. Sometimes only competent people within the field can get through to you, and even then - it is easy to discredit even their feedback as “lies” or at least impartial to “objective skill-level”. 

When i say Objective Skill-level. I am in this case referering to the know-how of practical application of artistic skill into creative works. Be it academic or self-taught. If we look at a piece by a six-year old, and a piece by a proffessional, then we’ll of course see a disparity in the technical prowess between the pieces. 

But to bring it back to us; it can be tempting to measure yourself up against your contempoaries, afterall we’re lowkey all chasing the highs of validation, which is often obtained by feeling skillfull - which is nearly always the clearest when we feel like we’re technically better than someone else. 

But measuring like that is a stressfull, tiring and fruitless labour. 

Most of us wouldn’t ever consider ourselves “above” others based on our skill level comparably. But we do have a tendency to consider ourselves “ beneath “ someone who is technically more proficient than us. 

- I’m not good enough because i can’t draw this and that.  - I’m not good enough because i can’t draw in that style.  - I’m not good enough because i can’t make a living off of my art like they.  This is an uphill battle you will never win.  Once, and if you surpass someone who you have subconsciously considered yourself “beneath”, you will simply spot a new person to feel inferior to, and start shooting for that level. It spurrs progression for sure, but it wears on the mind. 

If I may speak from the heart for a moment..

You need to dismantle your pursuit of being “ Are you good enough “, to simply being “ you “. 

There is no one or nothing on this path that will truly ever provide you with eternal satisfaction. No matter how far you reach, there’ll always be a nagging thought that you could do better, that your work is flawed, but maybe if you only did this and that, you could make it better. 

This dissatisfaction is normal. perhaps, i’d even lend credence to it being healthy, when moderated properly. If there’s a hunger inside of your self-improvement, then it’s worth cultivating.  The fact that you have self-doubt means that you recognize that you could do better, and that is nothing to be afraid of, but you will need to dismantle it from the impulse of making it about chasing self-validation through the lense of other people. You only need one person’s approval, and that’s your own. 

Self-validation through the lens of a master-student and freelancer..

I will never propose that my way is the only one, and even remotely universal enough to apply to a majority, but let me share my own method for dealing with the little shoulder-demon of self-invalidation, as based on my experience with my Bachelor’s project at the Academy of Arts in Copenhagen. 

I had been working my ass off for the 3-4 month period for my bachelor’s project. It was a large scale project, one of my largest. And even as i worked through it, i knew that a lot of the content was made somewhat half-heartedly due to time-crunch and the natural dip in motivation that comes with long-form projects. That, and me just not being super good at doing certain things that happened to be part of the project. 

This meant that once i handed it in, i was in a usual state of mind, that hits me everytime i turn something in ( and this despite a heap of praise from artists and non-artists having seen the work so far ) 

“ This is either genious or garbage “.  I was leaning hard on the latter as i had had the better of 3-4 months to marinade in my self-doubt while making the project.  It ended up being both. I got a five minute critique of such scathing character, that i don’t recall having ever recieved before. But my grade was nice.  It perplexed me for a bit. Confused me even, that on one hand, i was recieving tons of praise for my project, but on the other hand - had my work torn to pieces by the expert. 

I took 14 days off after that and did nothing but sit around and feel pityful for myself, just to get it out of my system. Only after that did i take a look at my critique and my relationship with positive commentary, as it had been throughoutly sullied by my inability to take it in in the wake of my exam.  Here’s my take:  Compliments from your peers, be it creative, non-creatives, parents, friends or strangers is a currency. You may not feel that it’s important in the moment you recieve them. You may even have a reflex of discrediting them.  But if you can take them to heart, ask them to elaborate, and soak in the limelight for a moment - you may be much more prepared to get back on your feet when hard criticisms come your way.  Praise strengthens our ego. So allow yourself to enjoy it, even if it doesn’t feel earned, cause somewhere out there - there is for certain someone who is ready to pick your stuff apart ( in good faith too may i add ), and if you remember, and you know that others still think your stuff is amazing despite what someone else may say about it, you’ll be able to lean on that praise when facing the big fish.  They don’t care that someone with more technical knowhow will pick at your abilities, to them you’re still that friend/acquintance/family-member who is good at something. 

A personal mantra of mine has developed in the wake of my exam. “ I’m okay and getting better “.  Like a lot of other people, i’m not that inclined to boast anything out loud, i prefer underplaying it to others and myself. But going any further than calling myself “ all right” on the regular would be a disservice to my ego. 

So the statement takes the most modest word to capitalize on my skill-level, but more importantly it leads on that my skill-level is never stagnant, and will only be improving as i move on. 

That got long.

TL:DR: You may be inclined to think people are being dishonest when complimenting you, or that despite how many compliments you get - you will never be good enough. 

The truth is that there is no such thing as “good enough”. You will always want to strive furthe, so take the compliments in a stride, and even if you can’t agree with them personally, try to remember them evenso, cause to someone else - you are admirable in your skill. 

  More on motivation:  Seraphtonin’s Heart to Heart on perfectionism: 

https://theredlinestation.tumblr.com/post/181622006850/a-little-heart-to-heart

Wackart on Dealing with perfectionism: https://theredlinestation.tumblr.com/post/178784622124/id-love-to-hear-an-advice-for-you-amazing-mods

Wackart on Art-Critic Rethoric:   ( 1 )      ( 2 )       ( 3 )       ( 4 )       ( 5 )  - Mod Wackart  ( ko-fi ) 

#Anonymous #theredlinestation

[nightswithkookmin]

chile i'm so glad i came across your blog, the amount of "i'm not going to assume they're dating" or "we can only draw certain conclusions but i can't say for sure" "we don't know their sexuality, BUT" type blogs i follow is getting kinda wack lmao. while i appreciate their perspective and nuanced takes i need to strike a balance. like let's get a lil delulu every once in a while. 💀

lol the im-not-a-shipper-but-call-jikook-boyfriends-every-other-post blogs are the funniest to me. the shipping hierarchy, so to speak is so weird. maybe just because im not a "shipping real people is bad" person i don't see the big deal. gonna get called delulu anyway, might as well go full out. they is gay/queer and they're fucking. i'm so sorry.

*also can we touch on the fact that shipping in this type of fandom (kpop) is kind of inevitable and unavoidable??! these boys are the other people we see them with day in and day out, interacting with each other and no one else. i feel like it's natural to ship when there's no other people around to break up everything, idk maybe someone can articulate this better than me. and people who are made to feel stupid for thinking that 2 members could actually be dating is so dumb. like is it really out of the realm of possibility that two people (jikook, cause all them other ships are....😬) who spent almost every waking minute together for like 8 years could fall in love. really?

/rant

It's the delulu hat for me

Lmho.

I guess for me being queer, I feel it's gaslighting for these people to be saying things like that. As silly as it is, it inadvertently deny and invalidate the existence and queerness of gay individuals and so I struggle with it.

This is the consequences of straight people in gay people business. They like defining gay parameters for us and it's like who asked you?? I feel people who say things like that are just plain ignorant or tone deaf or willfully homophobic.

I don't think everyone in BTS is gay but it makes me feel safe to see half the community assume them to be and celebrate them in that way. They are not cussing at them and threatening to leave the fandom or cancel them for this assumption and that is huge inspiration to me.

Those parts of the fandom are a safe space to be in as a queer army.

When people assume a person's queer sexuality they are simply admitting to themselves at the very least that LGBTQ EXISTS. This is important to me because I grew up in a community where LGBTQ didn't even exist in the collective consciousness of the people and EVERYONE IS AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE STRAIGHT AND EXPECTED TO BE.

People read people's sexuality all the time and have done so since time immemorial and a lot of the time when they have had a sexuality read it's in the lines of straight, cis, rich, poor, superior or inferior. And that is a problem for some of us too because that discrepancy in the assumptions is as a result of homophobia and heteronormativity.

That whole don't assume a person's queer sexuality debacle sounds to me like a boujee way of denormalizing and preventing the normalization of queerness disguised under care, disguised under intelligence and disguised under wokeness. Especially when straightness is the default setting in this giant blue bulb.

We need to radicalize that. We need to change the cis straight default setting and if you are perpetuating this narrative you really aren't helping the situation. SIT DOWN.

I'm rarely assumed to be queer in certain circles and while that makes me feel comfortable within those circles it often times make it hard for me to admit my queerness openly in those circles too because I fear I will lose that comfort and respect and love and privileges that comes with being percieved straight in those spaces.

When I started my blog, I noticed some people assumed I was white and would use certain black descriptors as slurs when describing other people to me. I quickly had to switch the formal way in which I wrote to a much casual tone so my blackness would show through. Don't get it twisted. She black. She blackidy black black.

Then on the other hand, I was hesitant to let my queerness be known too because being black, I was marginalized as it is- you is black, or sound black💀 you know how it is- it's that intersectionality of oppression at play. Double double homicide.

When certain people realized I was black POC minority, their attitude towards me changed. I had those who didn't so much understand what black language is or perhaps wasn't used to being in black spaces and were uncomfortable with my blackness- these would take offense at me saying certain things in certain ways. Like chilee relax Karen, all I said was these motherfukkers gay as shit and they gay. Why you acting like I called them twinks or sommin. Right there, I'm cancelled for calling Jikook motherfuckers. They get sirens and everything😭😭😭😭😭😭

Same vein, I struggle destraightening myself or correcting people who assume I'm straight because I fear they will treat me differently if they knew I wasn't.

Straight privilege exists in the same way as white or even pretty privilege may exist and because these exist there's that automatic conception of queer, poc, ugly, fat disemfranschismet to run along side it.

People treat you differently based on how they perceive you. That's a fact. And for queer people, perceiving us as straight is the only way we get to be treated as human by the masses. And a lot of us embrace that- straight until proven gay am I right 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's the duper's delight for me. Untill you catch me with a 5'8 melanin skinned silk pressed auntie on my left nipple good luck proving I'm gay.

It can be fun, I akekeke when some people around me are totally oblivious to the fact and even sometimes defend my straightness with their dying breath when nasty friends throw them shades or try to out me unprovoked.

A lot of us don't want to admit we are gay because we don't want to be disenfranchised.

I speak for myself when I say this.

But 'Don't assume someone's sexuality' is a double edged censorship used for and against queer people. It seemly offers protection on the surface of it for queer people but underneath it promotes heteronormativity and standardizes straightness and it is also used to promote closet culture, under the disguise of care and concern for the autonomy of queer people but that is a fallacy because our autonomy has never mattered to anyone since the dawn of homophobia.

And I don't know where this interpretation comes from. Why do people not want to assume queer people's sexuality but it's ok to assume straight people's???

It feels like a hijacked movement to me.

THIS IS THE ACCURATE MOVEMENT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

Don't assume all people are straight. It's ok to assume some people are queer because queer people exists too.

It is wrong however to assume queerness based on how a person talks, walks, dresses or even on their body type. That is stereotyping. And stereotyping is wrong.

When it comes to Jikook, Jimin is often stereotyped as gay more so than Jungkook because they have different body structures. Jungkook is stereotyped too solely because of the way his wrists hang, or based on moments he's femininity shines through.

But I don't think shippers stereotype Jikook in that way at all. I dont think shippers believe Jikook are dating eachother simply because Jungkook applied setting powder to his face that one time. They assume they are gay only because they believe those two to be dating eachother. That is not stereotyping. If those two were heterosexuals I don't think people will accuse their shippers of stereotyping.

It's one thing to assume Kai is gay because he looks skinny and dances well. It's another to assume he is gay because in a relationship with Gdragon. And if people can't tell the difference between the two, they should get some education and stop talking about things they know nothing about or only know because they stumbled across user69 on Twitter. They are not helping.

Untill people get offended when people assume others are straight, that rhetoric doesn't matter in its inequality. If you ask me, everyone is gay until proven straight.

Yet how many people will take offense at that?

Assuming people can be gay is not delulu.

It's ok to assume people can be gay. It's wrong to stereotype them as gay. If you can't assume they are gay, don't assume they are straight and don't assume at all. Run with this sis.

Wait, they don't ship Jikook but they call Jikook boyfriends???????👀👀👀👀👀

The fake woke syndrome will kill people in this fandom with these mentally confused thought crisis bunch💀💀💀💀

Jikook themselves are shippers💀

Smh

GOLDY

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Deaf MC vs Devildom

.

A HUGE thanks to @jaywalk-on-me for reaching out to me about this subject. I really hope I have given this it some justice.

Also, to avoid some of the controversies inside the Deaf Culture: I will not be referencing cochlear implants.

And a note for my fellow hearing people, there is definetelly not much difference between us and deaf/hard of hearing people, in fact, after reading about it, I can hardly consider it a disability seeing it can actually allow them to percieve the world in a much different way from ours and would not have any problems in their life if only us, hearing peers, were cooperative and understanding. Everything we need to do is literally minor details and does not hinder our own lifes in the slightest, in fact, it can even help us too! An example is captioning, there is literally nothing to lose, and honestly, even I put captioning on movies of my mother lenguage because sometimes I just can't understand what is being said and captions really help me with that and enjoy whatever I am watching to the fullest! So let's be more understanding. We are all humans, and can all learn from each other's perspective.

And as always

Warning: Uncensored swearing lol, and reference to lesson 16

.

Lucifer

Ah, yes, he knew about it, was in your files, nailed it, he learned your local sign lenguage, all good.

Except his expressions are so damn stiff.

He signs a 'Welcome to The Devildom' and I kid you not, you will not be able to tell if he is trying to be welcomingly polite (and failing miserably) or threatening you.

It was definetelly both

He gets better at it-

Perks if you like classic music though, because you will be able to give him a whole different way of enjoying it.

He won't force you to speak if you choose not to, but he sure will never stop being delighted to hear your voice if you do.

It still baffles him how observant you are, may start trusting you to find details he missed on certain things.

.

Mammon

He definetelly forgot everything he learned on sign lenguage the moment he stepped out of the tutoring Lucifer made him and all his brothers, except for Levi and Satan, go through.

Yes he will mistake around 5 signs per day on the first week of your arrival in the Devildom.

And he will often forget that you most likelly cannot hear him (if his voice frequency doesn't match your hearing that is) and go off blabbing without signing and then just go "oi why ya ignoring me" and he definetelly is this close 👌to being wacked with the closest thing at range.

Again, he gets better too.

In fact, once he warms up to you (and that's like, real fucking fast) he will make so much effort to get things right, and he always pays attention to have captions in movie nights even without you asking??

He tries lip reading once when you told him it's not easy and, I will let it to your imagination what on hell he managed to lip read.

.

Leviathan

As mentioned above, he didn't need the tutoring. Why? Guess what, he already knew at least a few sign lenguages, all because of the many animes, games and shows he has watched portray it, even though the ammount of representation is small.(btw I recomend DARK, there is a deaf&mute character and oh boi she's awesome, it's on netflix)

So he definetelly had no problem communicating with you, in fact, he was almost relieved.

He doesn't need to speak verbally?? He basically would rather spoon his eyes out than talk on the phone so on drug levels texting instead is like heroin????

And oh lord you NEED to invite him to the music festivals on the human world catered towards deaf and hard of hearing people, be will LOVE it.

A little bit of downside though, some of his expression changes are very subtle, but as he spends more time with you, he will start incorporating character voices into expressions and body lenguage instead, and you bet he enjoys doing it.

He will definetelly make music just for you. You only hear high frequencies? Or maybe only low frequencies? Or just nothing at all but you enjoy the rythmic vibrations? He definetelly has spend an entire night making a full fucking album just for you.

.

Satan

Seriously, he knows so many sign lenguages it actually made his way of signing pretty unique!

Another fake ass who will give you gentlemany smiles at first. He may be a way lot more smoother than Lucifer but you bet his fake ass is not passing your vibe check, not with the way his eyes just feel a little bit not right.

Another one who gets better though.

It's kind of nice how he grows so used to signing while speaking that his hands often give off a sign or two even when he is speaking to hearing people.

He will definetelly roast quite a few half assed interpreters.

Also he may or may not have gotten a new obssession after you two watched a few silent movies together??

.

Asmodeus

Oh boy this one needs to chill out a bit.

If you can't interpret signs when done too fast then good luck because his hands will literally be able to spell a full fucking paragraph in 20 seconds.

And oh how he explores your other senses.

Definetelly goes to you first to judge how he looks.

Also he is the best option to keep yourself informed?? I mean, it's also something he can relate with, it doesn't matter if someone killed somebody or just broke their nail, he needs to know about it.

He may be a bit disappointed if you don't speak but he gets over it quickly.

Will ruin many people's carreer if they so much as refuse to attent to you just because you're deaf. There's just nothing wrong with it??? Stop being so petty!

He is now your biggest distraction in mid class and you will definetelly end each day carrying at least 10 paper notes in which he will try to speak with you. They definetelly smell like whatever he smells like at the time. And are definetelly written in colored pen. With glitter. And there are hearts. And possibly a kiss mark-

.

Beelzebub

Big boy definetelly has two types of sign lenguage he uses, and if literally depends if he is eating and what he is eating.

Normally he is just, normal lol. Since he is pretty much quite a bit of an amateur at it he will make use of speech filters a lot when he needs to remember certain signs.

If he's holding something big like a sandwich he will either just gulf it all in to have both hands free or try to make a simplified version with one hand. I'll admit the first scenario is quite amusing.

Yes some of the first questions he asks is how to spells certain foods.

And yes you bet you won't be able to know all of them because Devildom food is definetelly something.

Oh and get ready for a bit of chaos if anyone refuses your order because you're deaf.

Please tell him to flap his wings and proceed lay on him or hug him. The vibrations will be very much close to one of those massage chairs.

.

Belphegor

Oh boy.

First off, he did NOT know about you being deaf because thanks Lucifer.

You guys definetelly spoke in a lot of exchanged notes under his attic door.

He keeps them all hidden somewhere but he will never admit it.

If you're willing to teach him at least how to say 'hi', 'good night' or things like that, he will appear to not be very interested but once the entire lesson 16 fiasco happens they're definetelly the only signs he knows about for some reason when he finally gets tutored.

Still texts you instead.

Even in the same room.

That's what you get from the avatar of sloth I guess-

He does sign a few remarks at you per example commenting on how the new hairstyle Asmo decided to make made his bangs look like a poop behind his back.

Also this:

(The picture above actually happened and was translated to english from my mother lenguage)

#i literally spend DAYS brainstorming this #and then I searched for any other headcanons anyone else has made on deaf people on other fandoms and BOOM #I N S P I R A T I O N #obey me #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #sanaulgi this one is for u #707 #707 mystic messenger #lolololololol

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 5

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt: i stuck at prompts so uh hoskins is the best and walker is kind of the worst and the beginning then the worst at the end :)

Word Count: 1865

Reader: Female

Warning: uhhh

Author's Note: lmk for taglist, also sorry for not updating, I've had major writer's block. also struggling with tying things together in the plot. i'd rather not post anything than regret posting something lol. PLEASE GIVE ME CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, I KNOW THERE IS STUFF WRONG, JUST TELL ME

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

=====

Waiting.

All you have left to do is wait. After letting the Flag Smashers get away, flying to Germany to infiltrate their base, and Zemo “mysteriously” breaking out of prison; you have to sit here at a random cafe and wait. Wait for a sighting or wait for the two idiots to respond to your messages.

The whole situation frustrated you. No evidence pointed to Sam and Bucky breaking Zemo out but that was enough proof for you and Walker to agree that it was them. Hoskins, on the other hand, was skeptical.

“Why would two Avengers break a criminal out of prison?” Said soldier questions from beside you. The three of you were sat outside, away from prying eyes and ears while you had a quiet meal together. It was nice to have some calm but it made you itch.

You shrug and look down at your cup of coffee, “Steve got me out of prison and I have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.”

“Yea, but that was to save the world.” Lemar points out, giving you an exhausted look. An uncomfortable pit in your stomach forms at the mention of the first battle, the one that blipped half the world gone.

Silence falls amongst the three of you again as you all are consumed by your thoughts. A small frown appears on your face as you think back to those years ago. Natasha Romanoff, a woman you will never see again, walked into your cell with a kind smile on her face. She explained to you the circumstances and how they needed everyone they could find to defeat a titan wanting world domination.

The look on Bucky’s face seeing you in Wakanda with the blonde was nerve-wracking. He looked like he saw a ghost. It brought back memories that you knew he didn’t want to think of and you felt guilty. It was not the first time the past has blended into his present and it wasn’t going to be the last, but it was worth it.

After his initial shocked expression, he greeted you with a surprised smile. One you never saw on him during your time at Hydra with his former self. He greeted you with your alias and his smile only got larger when you corrected him with your real name.

It was a sign of a fresh start between the two of you. He stuck beside you during the whole battle, protecting you from the aliens since it was obvious you were a bit rusty. It was nice… until you lost him again.

“They were desperate.” Walker’s voice rings out from across from you, a tone of realization.

“Who?”

“The Avengers.” He clarifies making you scoff and lean back in the patio chair. “They were up against an army that they thought they defeated years ago, an alien titan threatening to take over a world they’ve been trying to protect for years. The team was split into two and they didn’t know when the other half would show up.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms in annoyance at his backhanded analysis. You were out of practice, yea, but you were useful. They couldn’t have been that desperate to recruit you. “How does that relate to now?”

Now it’s Walker’s turn to roll his eyes. “So,” He drags out then lets out a scoff, “we have no leads. We’re at a dead end and we have the government behind us. They are as desperate as we are but the only difference is that they’re freelance heroes.” He carefully explains causing you to let out a sigh. You understood what he was getting at and it made you annoyed that he was right.

“So they can blur the lines we can’t.” You reluctantly conclude, he nods and relaxes in his seat. You had to hand it to him, he was smart. His training and years of experience did him well but that didn’t relax your nerves.

Bucky was still in recovery and you didn’t know how he would react to being in Zemo’s presence let alone working with him. He’s been doing better and this plus him not going to therapy is an uncertain combo.

Walker seemed to notice you dazing off again, subtly asking Lemar to go refill their coffees. You don’t notice when the man gets up and walks off until the blonde says your name.

“Hmm?” You hum, moving to grab your cup which was no longer there. A small blush appears on your face as you realize your distraction was gone. Now you have to look at him.

“You know, my wife doesn’t like me working with you that much.” He leans back in his seat and rolls his shoulders back, looking off in the distance. “With, you know, the countless charges of treason and espionage against you.”

You let out a snort, there was a lot more than that. “Where are you going with this, Walker?”

“You said you have more a wrap sheet than Zemo does.” He simply states, eyes finally landing on you. There’s a moment of silence between you two as you try to define his words. Why was he bringing up his wife? Why did it matter that she was eerie of you?

“Yet, she knows I’ll be safe and level-headed because Hoskins is here.” He continues, “Sam is with Bucky, he’s in safe hands. If Zemo were to try anything he has Sam there to help him.”

You roll your head back and run your hands through your hair. There he goes again, thinking he knows everything and understands the situation. He continues to drone on but you stopped listening. You were proud of yourself that you kept your temper down this long, honestly, especially with your emotions right now.

You wait till he’s finished before looking back at him. He had a solemn look on his face, trying to show some sympathy and kindness but it only pissed you off further. “John, he turned him into the Winter Soldier.” Your voice was struggling to keep at an appropriate volume. “He said the words and he was gone. He still had nightmares about it to this day.

“Sam doesn’t know how to deal with the Winter Soldier. I barely do and I spent most of my life working with him. If he--”

“He’s not going to, (Y/N).” He snaps and you immediately shut up. You didn’t even realize the tears that started to pool in your eyes until you felt the wet drop roll down your cheek. He allows you to compose yourself before talking again, “My wife worries about me every day, you don’t think she’s not blowing up my phone every time she sees a newscast?

“I love her, would do anything for her. But she knows that when I see a fight, a chance to do something good or change the world for the better, that she can’t hold me back.” He passionately states as he fails from hiding his own emotions. “She still would worry even if I had...” His hands started to shake and his voice started to quiver.

It startled you, truthfully. He was allowing you to see a different side of him, the real man behind the shield. It was an odd time to get a new perspective on him but it was eye-opening nonetheless. He was opening his heart up to you as much as he probably didn’t want to, showing the same vulnerability you were.

“She supports me. She supports this crazy dream I’m living out right now and she’s there for me. You need to do the same for Bucky.” He culminates his speech just as Hoskins exits the doors of the cafe, juggling three cups and a pastry in his hands.

Walker immediately tries to relax his shoulders while you advert your eyes to the group of tourists across the street. There was a tense air between the two of you that if Hoskins noticed, he didn’t mention.

He sets the pastry down in front of you and you send him a grateful smile, a small warmth in your chest at the gesture to make you feel better. It works slightly until Walker’s words echo through your head.

=====

You let out a groan when you feel something soft wack against your face. Opening your eyes, you see black and don’t fully process what’s actually going on until the object is pulled away and replaced by a phone hovering above you.

“They’re in Latvia.” Walker’s voice rings out from beside you. Your brain finally catches up with being woken up so abruptly as you reach out and grab the phone from his hands.

Avengers Abroad. The article title readout causes you to furrow your eyebrows. Walker starts collecting your things while Hoskins stands at the doorway with two bags in his hands.

You quickly skim through the piece as the blonde aggressively throws your clothes into your duffle, “Why are they in Latvia?” You question, looking up from the phone to Walker who just ignores you. It would’ve made you laugh, seeing him pack up like a child whose mother just picked him up in the middle of a sleepover but the expression on his face was not one to mess with.

“We don’t know.” Hoskin’s soothing voice answers for him. “We need to head out immediately in case they spotted Karli, though. The most we can do right now is meet up with them and help.”

“And arrest Zemo,” Walker adds, walking out of the bathroom.

You raise your hands in exasperation, a questioning look on your face. “Weren’t you the one who was just convincing me that it was a good thing that they had Zemo with them?”

“Never said it was a good thing, just a desperate thing.” He corrects, “Now we have enough information to arrest them both for harboring a fugitive, we can take whatever information they--”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You throw your covers off and get up from the bed. You were furious that he would even utter those words, he knew they were with him and now he was just trying to corner them to make it seem like he was doing civil justice. “You just want to turn the tables to make it seem like you did all the work, you want the starlight more than you want to take down Karli.”

There’s a tense moment of silence where you and Walker just stare at each other. You could tell you struck a nerve by the way his shoulder’s squared up. It happened every time you insulted him and it was his tell to show he was trying to hold back his emotions.

“Just grab the rest of your shit and meet us in the lobby.” He demands, giving your bag a heave and throwing it at you. Luckily, your reflexes work faster than your brain does and you catch it. There’s a bit of guilt that bites at the back of your head for the low blow, especially since he gave you some good advice this morning, but you had more important matters to attend to.

_____

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