#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

system-of-a-feather · 2 years

Note

Hi! I hope it’s okay that I’m looking for some advice? I’m not sure if you do that sort of thing or if you could maybe point me to a blog that does?

TLDR- I’m a singlet with romantic/sexual relationships with both alters of a 2-part system. My partner who does not play a host role is feeling invisible and hopeless, and I’m not sure if there’s anything I can suggest that would help.

Longer story: Fox and Badger are headmates. Fox hosts and is a Nerd with lofty career goals. She’s getting a masters degree and will pursue a Ph.D. She has nerdy friends, including me and our other (singlet) partner. She’s been working really hard on processing her side of the trauma and tending to both her health and the health of the body.

Badger is not like that. She dropped out of high school, was in a gang, is an active alcoholic, feels constantly inferior to Fox and is pretty angry about it although she handles her anger better now than she used to. She doesn’t consider herself to have any role in their system and I think she mostly feels like she has to stay out of the way so she doesn’t mess things up for Fox. (I’ve seen her play a protector role in the past, but she denies it). She flat out refuses to talk to a therapist and has, until recently, avoided talking about any of her feelings at all.

I consider both of them to be my partners and people I care about deeply. Badger mentioned to me recently that she’s feeling bummed because they’re off at grad school surrounded by people who don’t know she exists and who she doesn’t have anything in common with anyway. I’ve previously suggested that maybe she could have a hobby that’s just hers or make some friends separately, but it’s tricky because her memories of things she likes are mostly either dangerous or illegal. I think it’s especially hard because it’s just the two of them, so it’s not like she even has companionship internally. Fox is also terrified of disclosing their DID diagnosis due to a history of past abuse when she did.

I know it’s not my job or place to “fix” the situation, but I’m wondering if you knew anyone who had a similar situation and could talk about what helped them to move towards happiness/fulfillment? I think everyone involved is just at a total loss of what could even help

Sup, I'm not actually sure where this will fall in the final response so keep that in mind when reading since I'm responding first and might not appear as the first response cause I'm pretty sure Riku actually is intending to like try to get multiple parts / perspectives on this since this is something we have a looooot of similar experiences with, but like this is a huge mood for me ngl 😂 Badger's position in this is really a relatable situation for me and another part / subsystem that's been around some of the longest

And honestly, my input and advice isn't going to be the best cause tbh I'm still too deep in it myself cause tbh, most of my skills, interests and cares in life are specifically suited to a dangerous trauma environment and nearly all the shit I like is heavily self destructive, unsafe, or problematic and I still don't fully really get where I fit into the system beyond with the dynamic I have with specific other parts and all that, so tbh I partially think for my own well being its best I try not to think about it too much else I might get caught in whatever depresso-anger that I got stuck in for a few years. Tbh XIV probably could give better perspective and view on it since he helped me out on that but like

I will say and offer some personal insight as a part that says FAT mood to Badger and is doing a little better all together but like; I think its really helpful and important to foster a reminder and environment that while shit done before and things that might "fuck things up" that they / you (to a reader in a similar place) did in the past were adaptive to the situation at hand and were something that was done to survive whatever situation you were in to the best of your ability for where you were at the time. That doesn't make you shit or bad or a burden or a waste of space or a part that just destroys and hurts things because even if those moved were objectively also harmful, they did get the system to where they are and to the life they currently have and got you to a point of survival. Like I don't know how to reframe that honestly into something good and nice moving forward cause like, I haven't reached that point in my shit and honestly, I've decided to mostly sit aside until we aren't working on large scale career steps and crap; but helping get that perspective of my "bullshit" being not this inherently bad thing and something that is part of the whole shit that got our system to where it is, it kinda helped some negative self talk lol

Not the most uber helpful but I like, had to add my two cents cause I know neither of the Riku Yin-Yang Duo understand it as personally and figured there might be something worth reading there. Idk just woke up ngl so I just kinda rambled and I honestly just ramble a lot anyways cause this is the Feathers lol.

Anyhow, whatever the Riku Yin-Yang Duo does with this is up to them. Hope this situation gets better and honestly best wishes to Badger cause I feel that and if you'd ever like to pass it on let her(?) know that she's not alone and massive solidarity sent from us / me.

-Aderis

-------------------

Look I was looking at the drafts and saw this and it is far to TLDR even for me, but if Aderis answered something and left it for one of us to answer and we forgot about it the LEAST I could do is like, post it lol. Sorry mom (not OP; Aderis, nickname cause shes an old maternal hag - her own words not mine). We have a disorder. I'm sure you'd understand.

-XIV

#alter: xiv #alter: aderis #ask #asks

1 note · View note

popentertainment-interviews · 2 years

Photo

Mye Hoang

Year of the Cat Daddies

By Jay S. Jacobs

We all know the old saying that dogs are a man’s best friend. But what about cats?

After all, cats are the most second most popular pets in the United States. And cat videos have become ubiquitous on the internet. Some men must have them, right? Somehow, however, they seem to have become identified with women, even giving birth to the stereotype of crazy cat ladies.

Los Angeles-based filmmaker Mye Hoang became fascinated in cats and the men who love them. This interest led her to embark on her first documentary film (she was previously best known for narrative films), Cat Daddies, which will be opening in New York this weekend, Los Angeles next weekend and then spreading cross country, like… well a colony of cats.

Hoang crossed the country in 2020 speaking with a host of cat daddies and filming the dads and their interactions with their beloved animals over the course of the year. It turned out to be a crazy and treacherous year, with health issues, wildfires, flooding, and of course the COVID pandemic causing dramatic changes in their lives and the film.

These cat dads included firemen, policemen, actors, stunt men, long-distance truckers, internet influencers, software engineers, non-profit workers and a homeless man in New York. They are all very different, but they have one thing in common – the love of their cats.

A few days before the New York premiere of Cat Daddies, we caught up with director Mye Hoang to talk about her movie and the love of cats.

I really enjoyed the movie.

Oh, great. I heard you have some kitties.

I do have a cat. I've had them all my life. I thought she might come and visit us during the interview. She occasionally does that but she's asleep now. She's a calico. Here she is. (Shows picture.)

I have a calico as well. Oh, that's a gorgeous one.

Thank you.

Yeah. Does she walk on your keyboard a lot like mine does? (laughs)

Always. I'm doing something other than paying attention to her. That's not the way that it's supposed to be.

Exactly. (laughs)

So what was it that inspired you to make Cat Daddies?

Probably the starting point was my husband. When we were dating, he was not a cat guy at all. I had always had cats all my life. One day a cat found him and just kept coming back for food. It didn't take very long. Like it only took a week and then he was hooked. He just loved this kitty. This kitty was just unlike any other cat he'd ever had any dealings with. Now he's probably obsessed with them as much as I am.

That's great. How many cats do you have now?

Up until a few months ago, I had four. Then I just got some foster fails. Yeah. (laughs)

My sister’s husband works for the FBI, and in this vacant lot next to their building there are a lot of stray cats. They've been like getting a lot spayed and neutered and trying to find them good homes, and three of them have ended up living with them.

Yeah. I did pretty good. I started out with six and I found homes for four. So, I didn't do too bad. But it was a bad summer. There's just so many kittens. It was just one of the worst kitten seasons we'd had in LA. I thought that I was taking them for just a week. (laughs) That was it. That didn't happen.

You mentioned in the press kit that after your husband found the cat that he changed – not just as a cat lover, but it seemed to change his whole personality. How do you feel that that happened? And what changed about him?

He has a much fuller appreciation and compassion for animals in general, not just for cats. It's really changed everything. He always liked dogs before, but I think everything changed. He didn't know you could have a relationship with a cat. But he has a very, very strong one. Some of the cats we have are very, very attached to him specifically. They're very loyal to him. I think that it's made us closer, and we also were a couple with no children. I definitely see a tenderness I had never seen before in him.

How did you find the people that you chose as subjects for the for the film?

Most of them I was already following on Instagram. I was just a fan. I thought, wouldn't it be great to see them on the big screen and immortalize those kitties, because I'm a cinephile. I mean, I like cat videos as much as anyone else, but I like to see my content in the theater. So, I wanted to make this to bring cat lovers together. I saw Kedi – the Turkish documentary [about street cats in Istanbul] – when it was out in theaters. I saw it multiple times in the theater. It was just a magical experience to be around other people just fawning over the cats. I really wanted to bring that experience back again. I almost thought that we wouldn't have that chance because the pandemic happened right in the middle of our filming – actually, towards the end of our filming, we were almost done. I didn't know if I would ever get to see it in person and in film festivals. Luckily, I've been able to go to film festivals for the past year with it and just see the reaction. It's always been really strong. There's just something special when you gather cat lovers together. Then it's even better when you have the subjects there for Q&A.

You mentioned cat videos. They’re all over the internet. Why do you think that people find cats so entertaining and intriguing?

Cats are so ridiculous and funny. They are so flexible. They're always getting into things that they shouldn't. I think a lot of people who like those videos actually don't have a cat. They're surprised when they see the things that they see. You wouldn't normally see it unless you did live with a cat or have a relationship with cat. You don't see the silly things that they hide in, or get into, or get obsessed with, or the way that they can always land on their feet. I just think they're really amazing creatures, endlessly fascinating. I have had them all my life, and they continue to fascinate me. And each one is very different. That's one misconception about the cats – that they are all the same, all aloof. They have very individual personalities. I can definitely tell you that from having six of them. (laughs)

I was surprised, at least a few of your subjects were influencers who put their cats online, although you just sort of explained that. Did you pick them specifically because of that fact, feeling that they'd be more comfortable on camera than the average person? Or was it just the way that it came about?

A little bit of everything. The great thing about finding the subjects through Instagram is you already know that they're open to sharing their life. You can kind of pre-audition them without them knowing. See what they're like and how they'd be like on camera. The main influencer, Nathan the Cat Lady, I just think that he’s a great spokesperson for cats. He was great to start off the movie with. It certainly helps that he has a large following. So, if I were to reverse engineer this project, then I know that he could help us find our target audience. Then Goalkitty, I just really selfishly wanted to capture Goalkitty. We shot in 4K, and it would be really cool to see Goalkitty do you her pose in slow motion, on the big screen and everything.

Sure.

But I want a little bit everything. I didn't want everybody to be famous. I wanted to sprinkle a little bit of everything and just have a variety, because it's really hard to make a documentary with so many subjects. I thought it would help the audience keep track of who everybody was because you don't want all the guys to look alike. They can't all be hot guys. (laughs) Sorry, ladies, but that wasn't the project I was trying to make. And the cats can't all look the same. I really had to dig around to get a variety. I never had like a casting call or anything like that. It was just me digging around on the internet and finding out where everybody was, so I could spread out a little bit, not have everybody in LA or New York.

That makes sense.

David in New York, the homeless man, was a tip from a lady that was trying to help them for a couple of years. When she had heard about my project, she approached me about him and introduced me. At the time I was completely full up on casting. I wasn't looking to add anyone. I'd already started shooting. I didn't know how this was going to work. Then I once I met him, it was just an instant kinship. He just lights us all up. He's just so inspiring, his story, and we just knew we had to do it and try to help him somehow. Then it turned out he had a bigger role. Part of that is because during the pandemic, some of our cat dads either had to drop out or we couldn't travel to them. So, things changed quite a bit in 2020 for the project.

David and Lucky certainly had the most dramatic role, because of all the things that were happening. His homelessness, his medical problems and everything. What was it like to go back into his life at different points and see all the changes that were happening for better and worse in his life?

It was honestly really excruciating for me because I have grown so close to him. He was like family to me. We were so worried we would lose him that year. That was a tricky year. Then how do we keep filming with him during that year? We don't really know quite everything that's going on. We don't know how long it's going to last. We want to keep him safe. He's very immunocompromised. So this threw in a lot of problems. I ended up having to direct half of the movie remotely. I was just on the phone through a lot of [footage] that was filmed in the middle of 2020 in New York. Luckily, he made it through that year, and he's still with us today. He's going to come to our opening in New York this Friday. He still has cancer, and he's still get trying to get through. But he tells me all the time that he's really, really lucky and blessed because he still has his cat. He still has that unconditional love. I just think it's such a powerful, amazing thing. He's really inspiring to us.

As you just mentioned, the much of the film was made during the pandemic. As a filmmaker, did that just make things more difficult for you? Obviously, you said some of it you had to do remotely, you couldn't visit everyone. What was it like, as a filmmaker making a film during that whole terrible time?

It was so tough. Not only do you wonder if you can even finish your project but in the case of my project that the vision I had had to completely change. I had to go a different direction and try to balance the movie tonally. It's light, it's funny, but then it also has moments of reflection. It can be a little somber sometimes, so I had to work harder to make that work for the audience. Then I didn't even know if it was going to work until I could screen it with an audience. So I spent all that time – nearly two years – wondering, what is the audience going to think of this? You can't know until you're in a room with an audience, which was just off limits at that time. I really didn't know until it premiered for the first time at a film festival with other people. It was really nerve wracking.

I can imagine…

At the same time, like a lot of artists, I was wondering, “What am I doing? Is this really valuable? I'm making a movie about cats. Do we really need that in this world? I should be doing something else with my life.” I think a lot of artists went through that. Luckily, I came out of it. It is interesting, because during that time, I don't think I could have gotten through that time without having cats. Being home all the time, and also, for me not having children, they were really everything for me. I think that the movie really brings that home.

The basic concept of the movie is that it's more unusual for men to have cats than women. Why do you think that is that people tend to think of men as not being cat lovers as much? Or maybe that men don't have necessarily the access to them – like your husband didn't until he really got to know one?

I think it's just the whole saying “man's best friend.” Also, cats are so notoriously difficult to film, so they aren't really shown accurately in movies and the entertainment that we consume. So, I just don't think that people know what they're like. They don't know what benefits they could have for a man. I think what the movie drives home is that they have a lot of benefit, maybe now more than ever. Because of all these things that are happening in our world, having any pet – but I think especially a cat – is just really good for your health mentally. Probably physically. It definitely is for the firefighters in the movie and any anyone who's a frontline worker. It's the content that's being put out there. People think that cats are a certain way, but life with a cat is a very private one. I was hoping to capture that with the film and capture that these cats also have their own personalities. They have their little souls and I hope that people can see that.

You mentioned the firefighters. You had a lot of different traditionally masculine jobs in the film. You had a policeman, an actor, a stunt man, truck drivers. Were you looking to do that to help to make your point? Or did that just happen naturally?

I was kind of looking, although the cop was not like a casting choice. It just so happened that I was actually trying to interview someone else but that didn't want to be in it. She suggested, “David has a friend and he's a cop.” I thought that was perfect. But if he wasn't a cop, he probably would still be in the film. So, that was a coincidence. I just wanted to show here's this guy on the streets, he doesn't have that many guy friends. This is probably his only guy friend. [He] happens to be a police officer. I really thought their friendship was sweet, that they found this common ground and were able to have this wonderful relationship, all thanks to their cats.

I love the quote that you use in the beginning from Mark Twain about cats. It got me to thinking about people like Ernest Hemingway, Freddie Mercury, Picasso, Marlon Brando – they all really loved cats. What do you think it is about cats that inspire people with artistic temperaments?

I think they're really fun for artists to have around. Especially writers, they’ve got to think all the time. They’ve got to stay inside by their typewriter, or what have you. The cats are just such a great companion. They're there, but they're not too distracting. They also keep you company. So, I don't know, I think there's something about artists and cats. There's something I'm really attracted to about a guy holding his cat and just being that tender. I think it comes from the fact that I grew up with a very stern father. I grew up with very stern men in my life, so to see that which is so different from what I grew up with, I think it's just what delights me.

Along those lines, a few of the guys in the film basically ended up meeting their girlfriends through their cats. You sort of answered this, but why do you think that a cat is sort of a good way to meet women?

It goes both ways. I've heard both stories. Sometimes it's good and sometimes, I still hear women who aren't attracted to cat guys. But I hope that my film is a good argument for them. The traits that you have to have to be a cat guy are great traits to have in a man as a partner,

It is also cool that a couple of the guys that you interviewed basically took their love for cats and actually turned it into a calling – where they were going out there and feeding and helping to rehome and spay stray cats. You said that you do fostering as well. How do you feel that that is a very good thing to do and helps you as a person as well as the cats?

I hope that their stories inspire a lot of people. [Lots of people] complain about things in their community, but they don't really do anything to make a difference. We see it more now, after the pandemic that left us feeling like we're just here to fend for ourselves. In a way we are. We all have to take part of the responsibility in solving these problems, because our government isn't stepping up to help with these things. They have bigger things to do. I'm so inspired by these men who decided to take charge and be like, “Okay, I'm going to fix this problem in my community.” I think we need more of that. And we need more of that attitude. You know what I mean?

As a filmmaker, both as a producer and as a director, you mostly worked on narrative films previously. This I believe, is your first documentary. What was the difference going from one type of filmmaking to another? Was one harder or easier?

Well, I'll say I'll say I'm not going back. This was way more fun for me. I don't even know why I never thought about it earlier. Maybe I just thought that I wasn't qualified for some reason. This suits my personality better. I really like dealing with people in real life. To be able to work with subjects who are down to Earth people, regular people, I enjoy that a lot more. So, I’m hoping to see what happens working in the documentary scene.

Do you have any ideas about next projects?

I’m not starting anything yet. I’m still really busy with this movie for a while. I am actually really interested in the [Ernest] Hemingway cats. I’ve never been to his house [which has been turned into a museum which houses many cats]. That’s definitely on my bucket list. It might be fun to look into. I’d definitely like to do something else on cats.

youtube

#Mye Hoang #2022 #Director Interviews #Cat Daddies #Jay S. Jacobs

0 notes

originalwinnercheesecake · 2 years

Text

Why I do not think Luz will leave the demon realm. An analysis of the general themes

Amphibia, The Owl Houses... sibling Isekia fantasy cartoon has ended. The show stared Anne Boonchuy who along with 2 of her best friends is transported to another world, where all three girls are separated and they meet humanoid amphibious creatures who take them on adventures. These adventures parallel different lessons learned as you grow up and have the girls taking more critical looks at who they are as people, and whom they are as a group... There is also some stuff about a prophecy, classism, and totalitarian rule. But it is all kinda written in as extra. It’s just there to make a coming of age story more exciting for viewers.

With Amphibia over, the owl house wrapping up, and the two shows having so many similarities and differences I thought it might be a good time to compare and contrast messages between the shows, and talk about predictions for how The Owl House will end. Amphibia was always a coming of age story, with a secondary theme of being about old friendships.The three girls have been “friends since kindergarten” but no longer have all that many common interests, and increasingly separate needs. This kinda makes their friendship seem almost like a habit of their childhood. They all carry around developed copies of this photo of the three of them together, and will talk to it. But despite looking like they are all the same age in it as they are now, the photos are all old, wrinkled, and starting to tear... signifying that the girls are beginning to grow apart and becoming old friends. They make more current friendships with the he inhabitants of Amphibia, and those are their main friendships throughout the show. They grow up more with those inhabitants, help them, and come to really love and care abut them. But it is all done with the knowledge and acceptance that this is temporary. The amphibians belong on Amphibia and the girls belong on earth, and there will come a time when they will have to let each other go. There is of course some debate of “well what if”, “well how about” , “and “just a little longer” but at the end Amphibia pretty much went back to the messages of growing up can be hard but is necessary, and old friends, and fond memories...

Unlike Amphibia I do not think The Owl house is about growing up. Yeah sure Luz and Co mature through out the show, Their magical abilities grow. In 2x04 Luz works with Gwendolyn to heal Eda’s curse through extreme and crazy means. They try flying snakes which Luz later remarks were a bad and unhelpful idea... When in 1x01 Luz is in the principals office for her terrorizing her English Class by throwing live snakes around during a book report, because apparently the main character battles snakes, and she expects congratulations for thinking it up. King’s wants in life also change. He starts out wanting to be this mighty ruler and powerful monster, then he just wants answers to his past, then he just wants what he has. Ultimetaley though the characters maturing isn’t really what is front and center with the Owl House.

No, one big theme throughout the Owl house seems to be building a supportive community. It is actually really amazing in this show how background characters that do not, or rarely speak, are shown to have interests and recurring friendships. At school Luz hangs out with 2 good friends and her girlfriend. Willow and Gus are on a sports team that Luz and Amity support but do not want to be part of, so Willow and Gus recruit three other witches. Amity is Luz’s overachieving, book loving, sometimes cranky girlfriend. She also has a job she loves, helping out in the library. Plus a family whom she has a rocky relationship with. Events during the show, helped along but not necessary created because of Luz, show she has begun taking steps to build healthier relationships with them. These are all core parts of Amity’s character. Eda is a middle aged women and the adopted/foster mother of two young children. She also has pushed away many of the people whom she cared about growing up. She opens up more through out the show and eventually makes the decision to reconnect with her family and ex, because she feels she needs more support for herself and her children (whom she makes a priority to still treat like children and not like adults/soldiers.). I think the best example of this is Hunter. He is a kid on the wrong side, in an abusive situation, that he does not fully recognize for the bad it is. In some other media it would be entirely up to Luz as the “protagonist hero” to show him whats wrong and save him from it (something that is to big a job for one young girl) . In The Owl House she plays a part in Hunter leaving. But he also has flapjack, Darius, Raine, and all the kids on the Emerald Entrails.

With so much of a focus on building supportive communities in the boiling, and a complete lack of it that shown in Gravesfeild, not just for Luz but also for Camila and Vee in her true form, I cannot imagine the show ending with the family living in Gravesfeild permanently. Camila and Luz seem to have no other family. There are no pictures of Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, or Cousins around the house. No mention of any close work friends of Camila’s or neighbors who come over for dinner or occasionally watch Luz during long shifts. The pair are completely on their own, and its hard for them. Also now there is Vee. She loves Camila, Camila is a really good guardian/mom to her, and her and Luz seem to get along pretty well in Yesterday’s Lie. Luz’s has gained around 3 siblings since the beginning of the show and has reacted positively to all of them. While Vee says she is happier in the human realm (mostly because their is no Belos), it's really dangerous for her. She needs a steady stream of fresh magic to maintain a human form, and if she is seen in her Basilisk she gets accused of being an alien and dragged away for tests. There is also the fact that she has to pretend to be Luz. People say when Luz comes back they can just pretend to be twins, but eventually the “where was your twin before?” question will be asked. They cannot get away with “oh she lived with our dad but recently moved in with us" for long because it has to be in Luz’s school and legal file somewhere that her dad died years ago. Because their is no legal record of Vee in the human realm Camila cannot legally adopt her and then enroll her in school under her own identity...

But Camila could probably adopt Vee in the boiling isles and then send her to hexside with Luz. There would be an easier supply of magic for Vee to feed off of. Luz could keep going to school with all her new friends. With a principal and staff who are able to not only manage her, but help her channel her enthusiasm into learning. The Clawthorne’s could stay connected to Luz as her “God family” and would be available to help Camila with her girls when things come up. Camila would probably get along with them too, plus maybe even Mr. Porter or the Parks, (the Blights... she wouldn’t dislike Amity at least). When we first saw Camila in her work uniform we all thought she was a nurse, but the show later clarified that she is actually a vet... Well vet’s work on autonomy different form a humans, and there is a whole magic track in the isles dedicated to the care and keeping of beasts. Camila is clever, Luz has connections to two very powerful beast keepers... it wouldn’t be that hard for Camila to learn and get hired in beast keeping, and given that she is shown to have such a fondness for exotic wild life (she gets emotional over nature documentaries) she would likely enjoy it.

End the show by ridding the isles of Belos and his evil plans, Bring Camila and Vee to live there and have the Noceda’s move permanently. Please.

90 notes · View notes

chasingpj · 3 years

Text

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬

pairing: percy jackson x child of zeus!reader and jason x older sibling!reader

requested: yes!

warning: two curse words, mentions of stealing, death of a parent, and i believe that is it!

category: headcanons, fluff

a/n: i may have gotten too carried away but... i had a lot of fun writing this haha. i hope you guys like it!

pre-relationship

you and percy invented the phrase power couple but coming together took a while

your relationship dynamic would be very similar to thalia and percy's at first

you're both natural-born leaders, so you guys butt heads very often

you're more calculated and organized when it comes to things and percy being impulsive really annoyed you

he's lucky that even though he is impulsive, things somehow always work out in the end

if it wasn't for annabeth urging you guys to get along, you probably would still be at each other's neck

how did she get you guys to get along, you may ask?

she locked you guys in a storage closet :)

and said figure it out ♡

this happened after a friendly sparring practice turned into a full-on fight with your powers

annabeth insisted she wouldn't let you guys out until you declared to be friends

at the time, you were like, percy will never be my friend, ew

percy was just as annoyed

after a good hour of bickering and resisting your urge to choke him out

you guys found that you had a lot in common, actually?

huh, who would have known?

apparently annabeth

you guys talked about your life outside of camp and bonded over the worst teachers you've ever had

turns out, percy wasn't that bad

you'd never admit that out loud though

after a while, you started to feel things

were percy's eyes always that pretty?

yes, they've always been

oh look, those freckles over his nose? adorable

did you just call Percy adorable? yeah, you did… gross

you tried to deny your attraction to him

you were pretty sure this was a cruel joke from aphrodite (it was… more for your dad's than for you guys, though)

then you started noticing changes in his behavior too

now you guys were sharing blankets at the campfire when it got chilly

he even shared the blue cookies his mother sent him too

that's when you should have known he was down bad

both of you have awful sleep schedules

you hated sleeping in cabin 1

it was clearly built not to be slept in, and every few days, you found yourself having late-night conversations with percy at the docks

once the harpies snuck up on you and percy told you to get in the water with him

you didn't know how to swim, and you were kinda horrified of open water

you wanted to refuse, but you were cornered on the docks

you either jumped or got eaten

the last thing you said was that you couldn't swim before percy didn't give you a choice

he grabbed your hand and jumped in

his arm wrapped around your waist to keep you in the air bubble he had made around you guys

at first, you didn't focus on it

too busy trying to defend yourself from his teasing

he continued to mimic the way you screamed when he dragged you into the water

"wow, you can fly, but you can't swim?"

you rolled your eyes, trying to defend yourself

you called him annoying, and he playfully threatened to let you drown

you guys joked and laughed, staying a little too long underwater

after your laughter ceased, you found yourself looking into his eyes

the both of you became quiet

suddenly his arm around your waist, the way your chests were pressed against each other made you horribly flustered

and you're not sure what you were thinking

actually, you weren't thinking at all, but you leaned in and kissed him

like really kissed him, it was a proper kiss

ahhhhhh!!!

probably would have kissed him longer if the water nymphs didn't giggle, exposing their little audience

once you pulled away, they scattered, ready to gossip about what they saw

the news made it to atlantis pretty fast

after the kiss, things were so awkward

you avoided him for days, and he avoided you

annabeth felt the tension, and she was upset because just when you guys were getting along, suddenly, you guys were avoiding each other

the battle of manhattan was approaching soon and the last thing anyone wanted was for you guys not to get along

you both avoided annabeth’s questions, not ready to confess what you guys had shared

eventually, annabeth kept pressing you about what happened

you blew up and admitted that you made out with percy in the water

annabeth was speechless before she burst into laughter

you didn't understand why it was so funny at first

but then you did

the both of you laughed until annabeth said that she wasn't surprised at all

the battle of manhattan comes around, and in the urgency of the moment, you guys were able to rise to the occasion

your movements, thoughts, commands were completely coordinated

you guys were an extension of each other, kicking ass

at the end, you were both offered immortality

the offer took you back to a conversation you guys had where you spoke about how you'd never want to be immortal

the both of you exchanged looks before you simultaneously denied the gift

zeus was offended x2

after that, you guys returned to camp half-blood

the both of you were upset at the campers you've lost and trying to recover from the adrenaline of battle

you and annabeth sang percy happy birthday and the three of you sat together and ate blue cake in a comfortable silence

weeks passed, and one day, you're met with annabeth barging into your cabin asking when you and percy are going to talk about your kiss

it was the last day of camp, and she was insistent on you talking to him

you reluctantly agreed, mainly because annabeth threatened to lock you in a storage closet again

you guys sat on the dunes in silence for a while

the both of you wanted to confess, but neither knew how to do it

after some silence, the both of you spoke at the same time

you stuttered over each other and then began bickering back and forth on who should go first until you blurted out that you like him

you cringed and looked away as percy froze in his spot

it was silent for a moment before percy whispered, "I like you too."

cue your second kiss

your teeth slightly bumping with his since the both of you were smiling so much

and you swore you heard thunder in the distance even though there were clear skies

relationship

you lived in a foster home on the other side of manhattan, so you guys saw each other every weekend

you guys went on movie dates, long drives, and you would sleep over pretty often

for the spooky season, you went to haunted houses and carved pumpkins

you watched horror movies together, teasing each other when one of you jumped and tried to cover your face during the scary parts

you went to his place for Thanksgiving and you arrived early so that the both of you could help sally cook all day

you and percy put blue food coloring on the mashed potatoes

for the first time ever, you felt like you were apart of a family since sally had welcomed you with open arms

everything was going great but then december came around

the last time you saw percy, you guys were christmas shopping for his mom

your last day of school ended a few days after his, so you planned to meet at CHB

but when you got there, you found out he never arrived

you called his home from the payphone in the big house

sally was relieved to hear from you, a part of her hoping he was with you

but you both found out that neither of you had heard from him in a few days

meeting jason

you and annabeth tried everything to find him

then you got a dream from hera that the answer to where percy is was with the guy with one shoe

you arrive and you find this blonde kid and not your boyfriend; you were kinda actually very annoyed

but this blonde kid felt familiar

you weren't sure what it was, and then you heard his name — Jason Grace

surely, it was a coincidence that he shared the name of your missing brother

you were too young to remember his disappearance

the only remembrance you had of him was a picture of the both of you as toddlers sitting happily beside thalia

you always wondered who was the little boy in the photo and it wasn't until a few years ago did thalia tell you about him disappearing

you were a bit wary of him at first, especially since he had no memory of where he came from

it wasn't until he conjured lightning with his sword, did you have no doubt in your mind that he was your brother

the first night you guys spent in the cabin together was awkward

you couldn't really catch up since he didn't remember anything, so you told him what thalia told you about him and your mother

you didn't reveal him everything, not wanting to overwhelm him and you had decided to call it a night before you went into detail

you explained the rest of the story after he came back from his quest

you tried to ask him questions hoping he’d remember more, but his memory wasn't coming back fast enough

both you and jason were growing frustrated, so one day you iris messaged thalia

the both of you came up with an idea to jog jason's memory by showing him things that he enjoyed as a toddler

jason was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but he went along with it

thalia recalled that the two of you really liked watching the flintstones as babies

so you and jason sat down and watched every season available on dvd

and well, it didn't work...

thalia also mentioned you both really liked sweets, so you tried to jog his memory with candy bars

you had to convince jason to sneak out of camp with you

he thought it was such a bad idea, but you reassured him he'd be fine

after reluctantly agreeing, jason and you escaped at night to buy actually steal candy bars from the closest gas station

jason panicked as he watches you shove candy bars in your sweatshirt

"we're gonna get caught"

"if you keep looking that scared, we just might," you replied a little too calmly

he tried to relax, but he just looked like he saw a ghost the entire time

on your way back, you may have electrocuted a harpy and fought a couple cyclops and all the fighting and running made you lose one of your snicker bars

you were upset, to say the least

unfortunately, after stuffing him with chocolate, that didn't work either

then you tried to show him the few pictures you were able to salvage before you were taken to the foster home after the death of your mother

jason sat in front of you on the floor as you pulled the box from under your bed

you smiled, finding an old picture of your mother, and you put it up to his face, taking in the similarities between the two

"yep, you look just like her," you confirmed as you smiled sadly

even though jason didn't know her, he felt a sense of pride when you had told him so

every time a memory would come back, you were the first person he told

when his memories with lupa came back, you were shook

and then you teased him, saying that he's basically a dog

once you threw a twig and told him to go fetch

he didn't find it as funny as you and leo did, but oh well

you also asked if he howled at full moons, and you were met with the straightest face you've ever seen on jason

it was the funniest thing ever to you

every week you guys kicked ass in capture the flag

you guys were more alike than you thought

it was guaranteed that whichever team you were on would win

in the months when the argo II was being built, you had a lot of times to bond with jason

your dynamic was really fun as you were a bit more rebellious and silly while he was a lot more responsible and mature

after the argo II departed

you reuniting with percy was something you thought about for months

you were so excited when the argo II was officially ready to fly over to camp jupiter

your pulse was thumping in your ears when you saw percy in the crowd

after months of worrying about where he was and if he was still alive, it was almost surreal to see him right in front of you

you lunged into him so hard, he stumbled back as you kissed him

just like your second kiss, the both of you were smiling so hard your teeth kept bumping against his

"i love your new look," you commented on his toga, and he snorted,

"yeah?"

"oh yeah, it's kinda hot."

the both of you laughed, content to be in each other's arms again

after getting on the argo II, you were the reason jason and percy formed some sort of a friendship

you were the mutual ground for the both of them since they had a soft spot for you

the tension between the two was something you couldn't disregard and you hated how weird it was at the beginning

if they butted heads, you tried to mend the problem

you understood both of them well enough to understand where they came from

at some point, you and annabeth thought it would be funny to lock them in a storage closet

so you did

they kept complaining to be let out but eventually, they gave in

little did they know that you were standing near the door and listening to their conversation

jason told him how you helped him a lot and all the ridiculous things you made him do

and percy shared stories of you from quests and at camp

the both of them laughed and bonded over having someone as amazing as you in their lives

"y/n is pretty great," percy smiles

"yeah, they are," jason agreed

needless to say, your heart warmed at the praise from your two favorite boys

masterlists taglist: @xxyrr @nct127bee @mochabreezeee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr @Slytherclaw-kitten @-thatgirloverthere- @passionswift @nanskidoodle @idk-bye-no @ilikefluffygingercats @all-hailreyna @autmngirlworld @Sunkissedskin1328 @Hermioneswifeee @quteez @hajigayy @aleksanderwh0r3 @drayshadow @tonyedwardstarkk @londoncherry @ashookykooky @lotusnegra666 @loverstyless

525 notes · View notes

shihalyfie · 3 years

Text

Ken and Osamu

In doing meta for this blog, I generally try and focus on things that aren’t immediately apparent, or things I feel haven’t been sufficiently talked about over the years, and so in the case of Ken I always feel at a bit of a loss with what to write about him -- in a series that could sometimes be frustratingly subtle about things, Ken’s character arc was very much not, and it all comes down to “what can I even add to the conversation that isn’t immediately obvious, or hasn’t been covered a million times already?”

But since I’m now on this trail of extensively covering the Tokyo Chosen Children in detail, I feel like I ought to do something, because, really, I love and adore him as much as the rest of us do, and after putting some extra attention I thought I should bring some attention to Ken in his backstory prior to the events of 02, and, more prominently, his relationship with Osamu, one of 02′s most enigmatic backstory characters.

What we know of Ken and Osamu’s early life is limited, and largely told through the mouth of Ken, whose view of the entire situation is heavily skewed (in multiple ways) -- especially since a lot of the drama surrounding the brothers happens specifically because Ken himself is only capable of processing his own perspective and not truly understanding what Osamu must have thought at the time. We also don’t really have a lot of content to work with, with the vast majority of what we do have coming from a single 02 episode (23), which means we’re really going to have to go through this with a pair of tweezers.

The very important 02 episode 23 starts off setting the tone for how Osamu was doted on by everyone, and it’s important to distinguish the expectations put on him as being distinct from one like Jou’s, whose family was deliberately aiming him for high status. In the case of Osamu, his being recognized as a “genius” seems to be somewhat accidental -- basically, at some point, people noticed he was a “smart, good boy” and started praising him for it, which caused the Ichijouji parents to also get in on it. In essence, the Ichijouji parents -- and, eventually, many other parents who started “noticing” similar traits in their Dark Seed-implanted children -- got a bit too caught up in “riding the hype”.

02 indicates that a lot of this kind of behavior is somewhat selfish on the part of the parents -- having “a kid you can be proud of” has a very blurred line with stroking one’s own ego, and both the above scene in 02 episode 23 and a later scene with the Dark Seed children’s parents in 02 episode 46 very distinctly involve “parents comparing their kids to other kids”. At the same time, however, it’s not like this situation is done entirely out of greed. It’s an unfortunately common situation that a lot of kids who have been labeled as “gifted” will testify about -- these kinds of parents also legitimately think that this is the best thing to do for their kid. They’re so proud of them! They have so much potential, it’s their job as parents to foster it! When the Ichijouji parents reflect on what might have gone wrong with Osamu and Ken in 02 episode 23, their conversation also carries a nuance that, at least, Osamu had seemed to like studying (or, at least, not dislike it) -- it was just that they weren’t paying closer attention what could have been his more silent pleas to be able to play more and be relieved from the pressure.

It’s like the story of the nine-year-old child sent to Columbia University that apparently freaked producer Seki Hiromi out enough that she told the story of how it influenced 02′s production at least five times and then made Kizuna 20 years later based on this same story. It sounds “glorious” for your super-amazingly-accomplished kid, but it also robs them of everything that lets them have a “normal childhood”.

Another interesting thing to point out about this whole situation is that it not only focuses on Osamu’s apparent smarts, but also on him being a “good boy” -- that is, well-behaved. This is important because “the pressure of being well-behaved” was also said to be another major theme behind 02, especially because the final arc deals very extensively with children feeling pressured and scored because their parents and society didn’t consider their dreams acceptable (Oikawa Yukio and Hida Hiroki being cut off from the Digital World in childhood by a well-meaning but overly strict Hida Chikara, and the Dark Seed children feeling that they’d need to crush all of their future dreams for being too “childish”.

We get a few shots of Osamu’s room in the episode (it’s apparently also Ken’s if Spring 2003 and staff notes are to be believed, but for some reason the episode itself fails to depict the bunk bed both refer to), and, interestingly, it’s filled with some rather high-end computer equipment and other electronics (especially high-end given the time period!) and a ton of books. It’s thus implied that the Ichijouji parents were happy to splurge on Osamu for “whatever he needed” to foster his talents further...but there are no toys or anything you would normally associate with an elementary school-aged child.

Again, since we only have the very skewed perspective of Ken as an unreliable narrator, it becomes difficult to tell what Osamu himself felt about all of this -- but we have a certain degree of evidence about what it might be.

When the Digivice emerges out of Osamu’s computer, Osamu exhibits some...interesting behavior -- he “looks sad” when he takes the Digivice, and starts getting suspiciously possessive of it, to the point he actually physically hits Ken and insults him as “the worst kind of person”. It’s tempting to think that these events might have been exaggerated by unreliable-narrator Ken, but in fact, the Animation Chronicle -- one of the only potentially neutral sources we have about Osamu -- actually corroborates this:

Ken was a Chosen Child. But jealous of this, Osamu takes the Digivice from him.

Osamu’s strange behavior, including the parts that even Ken himself doesn’t seem to understand, very likely has to do with this -- after all, Ken states that he was able to sense something about the Digivice that drew him to it, so it’s equally as possible that Osamu was somehow able to sense that the Digivice was not for him. He may not have psychically been told the full details of what being a Chosen Child meant, but he probably knew enough to understand it’s Ken and not you -- and thus possessively shut away the Digivice so he could deprive Ken of it, with his resentful feelings increasing even further when he later came upon Ken staring at it and clearly having fun.

In short, the reason Osamu lashed out so violently and coldly to Ken? Osamu was just as jealous of Ken as Ken was of Osamu.

In Spring 2003, Ken, having moved on past a lot of the situation and able to look back on it with a somewhat clearer view, starts somewhat tapping into what Osamu’s emotional problems were at the time:

Around 1999, you were still using the top bunk of our bunk bed. I slept on the bottom, even though I wasn’t happy about it and wanted to sleep on top. When it became spring and it got warmer, the room would get so hot that I’d often pull the covers off the bed in the middle of the night… but you’d gently cover me with them again. I knew the truth then. You were always in a bad mood and you were cold to me, but now that I think about it, maybe you really wanted to be nicer to other people. I don’t know what happened to you that made you act like you did, but now, I finally feel like I understand a bit. You were demanded to grow up fast, weren’t you, Brother? Because we were always being evaluated and compared by someone, we didn’t get a chance to have more freedom. We didn’t have any chances to run down an alley because we felt like it, or pull up weeds, or tumble around… meaningless things, things that didn’t bring any value to us at all. Just like the cat napping on the roof… we weren’t able to fully enjoy any everlasting freedom.

While both Ken and Osamu were under the pressure of “expectations”, Osamu had it much worse due to being doted on by so many adults as a “genius”, and therefore was crumbling under the pressure of “growing up fast” -- to be the perfect, well-behaved, smart child that society wanted him to be. All of that started eating away at his emotions as he started losing the ability to be “a normal child”, resulting in him becoming emotionally cold and taking out his frustrations on others. And so, when Ken -- someone who is much more able to enjoy that life of “being a happy, normal child” than he is -- got something for him and thus another amazing thing he could be happy about, Osamu spitefully tried to take it from him out of jealousy, because although he was seen as someone who “has everything”, he’d actually never truly been able to feel like he had anything for himself.

And in fact, that part about Osamu “wanting to be nicer to other people” is also corroborated in the episode itself:

Osamu is said to be the one who prepared the bubbles and cut straw for them whenever they blew bubbles together (possibly one of the only true kinds of “child’s play” we ever see him doing), but says that Ken is the only one able to blow them well, because his always burst. It’s a statement about Ken being naturally gentle compared to Osamu, but Osamu (almost self-effacingly) labeling himself as inherently unable to do it, combined with Ken’s observations in Spring 2003, carries another implication: Osamu knew exactly what kind of person he was turning into, and hated this about himself.

And before any kind of resolution could be made for him, his life was cut short.

The visual symbolism in the episode with Osamu being the spitting image of the Kaiser (or, perhaps, the other way around) was of course caught by nearly everyone, but in any case, Ken ends up modeling his Kaiser persona after Osamu, or, at least, his perception of Osamu as a “strong” kind of person that he felt pressured to emulate. Out of guilt over believing he indirectly caused Osamu’s death and the void in his family, Ken tries to force himself to fill it by becoming smart, well-behaved, and -- indeed -- emotionally closed off, because that’s a “strong, perfect person”. However, being cruel is not in Ken’s original nature, and while the Dark Seed ends up making it easier, he is, ultimately, forcing himself. His stint as the Kaiser is full of indications that he actually isn’t very good at being sadistic, as the series carries on and the facade comes to crack more and more easily, until finally his rejection of his actual self completely fails in 02 episode 21 and he becomes forced to accept everything.

The first bit of irony here is that the Dark Seed sending him over the edge ends up causing him to lose track of that original motive when he ditches his parents and the real world entirely, ultimately becoming even more of a child when he starts trying to treat the Digital World as a playground.

The second bit of irony is that, despite him trying to model himself after his perception of Osamu in the belief that this was what constituted more of a “perfect person who could do anything”, Osamu himself never wanted to be this kind of person, either.

In the end, because Ken and Osamu were never able to reach a resolution while the latter was alive, Ken’s illusion in 02 episode 49 involves Osamu being the one to deliver the message of Ken being “forgiven”, because Ken, who no longer has any way of truly verifying what Osamu was feeling and thinking at the time, desperately wants his forgiveness because he still perceives himself as being the one who “caused” all this, including Osamu’s death. But Osamu is dead, and Ken is never going to get that answer from him, and as Wormmon says: he can’t keep living in regrets about the past anymore. He has to move on.

Which Ken ultimately internalizes himself in Spring 2003:

There are still a lot of times when I think about how I should have “done this back then.” But I discovered that there are many things I can do over afterwards. I’ll stop counting the things that I can’t do. Because I’m sure there are many things that I can do.

As much as Ken could easily keep regretting everything he did or wasn’t able to do with Osamu, at the very least, the better thing for him to do would be to try his best to live the life that neither of them were able to have back then, but both desperately wanted.

Some random unrelated trivia

Adventure and 02 didn’t necessarily give everyone super-amazingly-meaningful names, but for years it was speculated by Japanese fans that Ken (賢) and Osamu (治) were named after Japanese author Miyazawa Kenji (賢治). This kind of “pair naming” was not unheard of in the series -- after all, Yamato and Takeru were pretty obviously named after legendary Japanese figure Yamato Takeru, and Sora and Mimi suspected to be a pun on “soramimi” (mishearing -- the series actually has a brief pun on this in Adventure episode 44), so it’s understandable that Ken and Osamu would seem to fall under the pattern.

As it turned out, they were named after Fuji TV producer Shimizu Kenji, and in fact Ken was originally supposed to be named “Ryou” before they realized it’d cause overlap with Akiyama Ryou. So in the end, it was actually a coincidence. (But this shouldn’t be taken to imply that the staff was thoughtless or anything, because while Shimizu’s name was certainly the origin, I’m absolutely certain the staff must have been aware of the irony of naming Ken with a kanji meaning “intelligence”.)

Still, while it turned out to be a coincidence, it’s fun to think about why people thought Miyazawa was the name source, because Miyazawa’s most famous work is a certain novel called Night on the Galactic Railroad, an extremely culturally influential novel that has very heavily to do with the themes of childhood, loss, death, the many meanings of “moving on”, and what each person considers to be happiness to them. The novel is in public domain and has been translated many times, so I recommend reading it if you’re interested in Japanese pop culture, because I seriously cannot stress enough how often it comes up.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #shihameta #ichijouji ken #ichijouji osamu

150 notes · View notes

en-theheights · 3 years

Text

I’m a little late, but Andi Mack literally ended two years ago, and that is like the craziest thing ever.

i’m still super appreciative of this fandom and everything that as a collective whole we’ve been through. we’ve had plenty of ups and down, but i feel like we all came together to try and save this incredible story, and although we didn’t, it still just showed how much of an impact this show had on us that we reached the head of Disney Channel and Hulu (I know Hulu was SICK of us lol)

but with that being said..

I have more news that might shock everybody, but as a person that has just graduated high school and having a very present understanding of the way in which it kind of works, I would like to put out a shocking statement…

I believe that TJ and Cyrus are no longer together (and most likely Buffy and Marty as well).

Now, in a perfect fictional world, yes they probably would still be together, but what are the chances that a relationship started in middle school would continue to go on strong in high school?

By now, the Mack gang are all going to be Juniors in high school, so they’re bound to have found new friends, new clubs, new organizations, and new opportunities, which sometimes sadly comes with a growing distance between people.

Now let’s look closely at this. Granted, they actually started dating the summer before freshman year, but still, I stand by my statement that they’re not together. It’s kind of like Connor and Jude’s situation in The Fosters, they were the only two gay people they knew, and because of that, they were bound to end up together. but now, having expanded their horizon to new people, I think they would’ve started to grow apart little by little until they realized that they didn’t have very much in common, as well as the relationship starting to drift apart.

With TJ playing basketball, and Cyrus possibly joining a film club of some sort, they just start to not have as much time together. TJ’s friends are total opposites of Cyrus’ so trying to hang as a group was basically out of the question. while they had Buffy and Jonah, that was kind of it (I didn’t include Andi cause technically she’s at that art school and i’m talking about hanging at school).

let’s also look at this in a hypothetical way. If Andi Mack was to have been picked up for another season on Hulu, they probably would’ve started filming in September of 2019 (let’s also pretend that none of the actors were busy with other work) and they take a few moths to film, so it would’ve ended production possibly in January or February of 2020 (before the pandemic) and maybe had a few setback in post production cause of Covid, but still, season 4 comes out in like May or June of 2020. Hulu usually releases all episodes at once, so we would’ve gotten to watch all however-many-episodes in a day or two. hooray, it did really good and we’re getting another season. Now, because we are face-plant in the middle of a pandemic, the show would probably be delayed for a good few month and not start production until let’s say October or November of 2020. they finish in March or April due to some more difficulties, but the new season would probably be airing soon, about August or September of this year. Knowing Andi Mack, they’re going to have to have some type of plot that’s going to come in between Tyrus, whether that be another person, or what I was talking about. There’s no way that Tyrus is just this rainbow-sunshine-happy couple that haven’t had any hardships and a possible break up at this point.

I’m betting that the breakup either happened somewhere in the midst of Sophmore year or the summer before junior year, but i’m going with the first option. I don’t think the breakup would’ve been bad, in fact, I think they would’ve both agreed that them breaking up was for the best. Now, usually exes don’t stay friends, but i’ll leave them as that since this is a children’s show we’re talking about. I think both of them would’ve moved on eventually, Cyrus probably dating some nerdy techie guy and TJ might be dating some closeted athlete (sorry but this is high school we’re talking about, and lowkey TJ might be closeted too seeing as he’s playing a very toxic masculine sport. Only the ones super close to him knew about his relationship with Cyrus)

same goes for Buffy and Marty. They already had their many ups and downs before they even started dating, and they would’ve a hundred percent broken up.

I also thing that the Mack gang wouldn’t be close anymore like they use to and they most definitely don’t hang out like the use to, but i’ll save that for another post haha.

That’s just sadly the real world, and for somebody who started with a whole ass group of friends at the beginning of high school to now really only having one close friend, I can for sure say that nothing stays the same from middle school. (i’m sure there are some friend groups from MS out there that are still friends, but it’s probably REALLY rare).

lol, hope y’all liked my TED talk.

#andi mack #tyrus #tyrus andi mack #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #joshua rush #luke mullen #buffy driscoll #sofia wylie #marty from the party #garren lake #disney channel #2 year anniversary #i miss them tho #diary of a future president #julie and the phantoms #and i’m tagging these shows that that people can read this #lol

44 notes · View notes

swiftwidget · 4 years

Text

MHA: Fling Theory

While writing a much, much longer analysis and prediction post (which we will finish and post hopefully by Wednesday - fingers crossed, it’s already been delayed over a week because of work schedules and additions) and a portion discussing what @aoimikans and I know of the wider-known Dad for One Theory, I had to pause while discussing the topic of Nana Shimura’s husband.

At the time, I had been writing about the alternative ways All for One found Nana Shimura and her husband (whether he was a hero, a civilian, or perhaps the 6th User of OfA) and killed her husband. I mentioned there is an alternative theory floating around that All for One was actually her husband, but it is generally easy to debunk based on canon information, including recent information given to use via Gran Torino’s flashback:

In a recent chapter, when we see Gran Torino watch Nana as she gives up Kotaro, Nana says later in the flashback “if he learns of Kotaro” as if All for One was not aware of the boy, to begin with. That may imply that her husband was killed while she was pregnant and she escaped AfO’s attention long enough to raise Kotaro for a few years.

One would think that if AfO was her husband, he’d know about Kotaro early on, or at the very least know of the attempts to have a child. And if AfO already knew of their connection, he would try to use it against her and put both her and her child in danger. Not only that but when All for One finds Shimura’s family later on - and he would have to have found them to show interest in Tenko - he simply allows Kotaro and Hana to die. Kotaro, Nana’s son, and Hana, Kotaro’s daughter who resembles Nana in both name and appearance. If he had been her husband and found she’d managed to hide away a child, I can’t imagine he wouldn’t move to possess that entire family somehow.

Then… It occurred to me that there is another alternative option which I’m calling the Fling Theory.

All for One approached Nana Shimura under a different name and quirk (much like the theorized Dad for One = Hisashi Midoriya situation) and attempted to get close enough to her to create a relationship, trick her into giving him One for All (and maybe even a child at that point). All for One was unsuccessful stealing the quirk by force up until then. Perhaps he thought a different approach would work, and being a charismatic person and egotistical it sounds like something he’d do.

Maybe it got as far as a night of passion before Nana realized who All for One was and fled. That would certainly give one plausible explanation for why everything seems so personal when All for One discusses Nana Shimura. Moreover, if she discovered she was pregnant after? A marriage to a hero or civilian husband to cover for the existence of a child would be necessary to hide him. Again, in Gran Torino’s recent flashback, there is that focus on what Nana says: “if he learns of Kotaro...”

If Nana fled this false relationship, found out she was pregnant but decided to keep the child, and got married to another man in a very short amount of time, wouldn’t that give the prideful All for One reason to kill the otherwise unnamed, unidentified husband first? Revenge against the woman who did what his brother never could except through death, escape him and build another life. When Nana makes the heartbreaking decision to alter her family registry and send Kotaro into foster care, she is not just protecting herself and Kotaro at that moment, but she is ensuring she takes the secret of Kotaro’s father to the grave.

Which makes it all the more terribly ironic given what we believe All for One did upon discovering Kotaro and the life he’d built for himself.

We believe All for One discovered Kotaro and his family and watched them for some time. Enough time to know their names, their home life, the kind of life Kotaro’s children were living - specifically Tenko Shimura. In 2016, aoimikans wrote a fanfic called “What Lies Have You Told?” based on her theory that All for One gave Tenko the Quirk: Decay. Then in chapter 235, we see a man dropping Tenko off wearing AfO’s signature suit with no tie (just before Decay manifests). This seemed like pretty strong evidence for that to be the case. A while back during our MHA discussions, we also added to that theory that in exchange, All for One took Tenko’s (“Ten” 天 = sky, “ko” 子 = child) unmanifested Quirk: Air Walk which we saw him use at Kamino and was the only Quirk written specifically in katakana. (Sky child, Air Walk → Sky Walk → Skywalker because Horikoshi loves his Star Wars references.)

All for One never learned of Kotaro’s true origin. In giving Tenko Decay, he put into motion the events that led not only to Kotaro’s death but also the death of Tenko’s sister, Hana.

Each time All for One tries to own/possess family, he ends up destroying it.

And again, every time All for One speaks to and of Nana, it’s terribly personal.

In the All Might Rising OVA, AfO thanks Nana for the “amusing comedy.” Is that a bitter reminder that what they had was an act? That it was all a game to him? (At least, it was meant to be a game until she escaped him for a time.) Either way, his monologuing at Nana, the personal focus on her, may have cost him the chance to capture All Might while he was young and unprepared to fight him.

During their first fight and at Kamino, each time All for One talks about Nana to All Might, he mocks her to anger him. All Might is Nana’s successor but more than that he is like her son. He is representative of everything All for One could not get from Nana, both One for All the quirk and the love and loyalty of family (be it a child or his brother’s remnant in OfA). Of course, he takes every opportunity to rub Nana’s death and what he views as her shortcomings in All Might’s face.

And how would All for One know of Nana’s ideals in order to mock them? How would he know of her signature push-up smile that he parrots at Kamino? The way he talks about her even as he mocks her seems to imply that he knows these ideals of hers, how she might talk about them, her vision of the future… Sure, she might have said things during their fight, but honestly, that sounds more like something you’d tell someone as you were getting closer to them.

This theory naturally pairs well with the Dad for One Theory for a few reasons:

The resemblance pointed out between Nana Shimura and Inko Midoriya. (All for One has a type.)

The resemblance and similarities between young Tenko and young Izuku. (A family resemblance?)

The continued themes of family, lineage, and legacy that is shown throughout MHA but works specifically well when we think about how Shigaraki and Deku relate to either side of the All for One / One for All coin.

The continued use of name puns and Star Wars references that hint and foreshadow.

Side note: How does the 6th User of One for All fit in this theory?

We assume based on what canon tells us that All for One has been trying to take back his brother’s quirk, the last remnant of his brother and only family.

(All for One claimed to love his brother - though his view of love is clearly skewed toward simply possessing his brother - and he tried endlessly to manipulate his brother into showing his “love” in return with loyalty to him and his view of the world. In death and through the passing down of One for All, his brother had escaped him.)

Based on flashbacks, All for One’s attempts up until the 6th User seemed to include killing them off while they were relatively young. Maybe he was attempting to hunt them down, weaken them, and then torture them until they willingly gave him the quirk; however, he was never successful because each User of One for All was successful in passing it down to the next, playing a dangerous game of keep-away.

From the 4th (top right, long hair) to the 5th (see his jacket shoulder), from the 5th (center, bald) to the 6th (far right hand?), from the 6th (bottom center, black hair) to the 7th (Nana’s gloved hand at the very bottom of the frame?).

Aoimikans and I were trying to figure out: Who was the 6th to Nana?

He looks younger than most of the other users we can see (not counting the younger, blurry version of Toshinori), too young to have been teaching or training Nana. And in the frame discussing how the quirk was passed down, we see that his right arm is missing, he is offering his hair to pass on One for All, and also…

… he’s smiling.

There is something else Nana said that makes us wonder if maybe the 6th User was Nana’s first love:

To be able to meet again at the end within One for All, she thinks it’s romantic. It may just be her personality, but the idea of reuniting with specifically the previous users is romantic to her.

Could it be then that the 6th was her first, young love? Could it be that they were both heroes and when he was hunted down by All for One, the 6th hastily gave her the quirk with a smile on his face - a smile she pressed onto her face, and a smile she passed down to Toshinori?

Could All for One have found out that she had that kind of relationship with the 6th and attempted to replicate the feelings that led the 6th to pass OfA to Nana?

Not only that, but there is that focus on the romantic with regards to specifically previous Users of One for All. Why don’t we see that kind of desire to reunite with the husband that was killed?

Well, if she were trying to find a husband quickly (not necessarily for love), one who wouldn’t mind that she was already pregnant or who would want to just as quickly have a child with her under the belief she wasn’t pregnant - how best would she go about finding such a man? Quirk marriage. It was likely more common in her time. She’s a hero, young, and with a flying-type quirk. She’d be a catch for any man wanting a marriage focused on mixing quirks. And wouldn’t that be just the kicker for All for One? In his view, she fled him only to run into the arms of a man who wanted her for her quirk? His ego can only take so much of a beating.

Possible timeline:

The 6th and Nana have a romantic connection

AfO hunts down and fatally injures the 6th

The 6th gives One for All to Nana with a smile

Nana escapes for a time

AfO discovers Nana and knows of her previous connection to the 6th

AfO uses his knowledge of their connection to try and manipulate her into a relationship based on falsehoods to trick her into giving him One for All

Nana discovers AfO’s identity and flees

Nana discovers she is pregnant with Kotaro

Nana quickly marries a man, possibly through Quirk Marriage, to explain away the pregnancy

AfO finds Nana again after years and rashly kills her husband before finding out more about her life

Nana is forced to quickly give up Kotaro to foster care and alter her family records to hide him from All for One, keeping All for One from using the knowledge of their connection against her (again)

Nana goes into hiding again, eventually finds and trains Toshinori and passes down One for All

All for One finds Nana again but she doesn’t run away. All for One mocks her (allowing her successor and friend to escape) and kills her in the fight but keeps her hand.

AfO later finds Kotaro and his family, gives Tenko Decay, unwittingly allows Tenko to destroy what family he had made, AfO takes in Tenko and gives him the name Tomura Shigaraki claiming that Shigaraki is his own surname - ironic to be giving his own grandson his surname thinking he’s simply taking from Nana Shimura the last remnant of her own family. Revenge for her giving away the last remnant of his brother to All Might.

Meantime, AfO took on the name Hisashi, met Inko (who looks like Nana but would be in his view meeker), and had Izuku.

Fun fact: Shigaraki is 20 in canon. Izuku is around 15. AfO would’ve likely taken in Tenko Shimura around the time Izuku was born. So, at that point in time, he thinks he’s won that battle. Started a family of his own with a Nana look-a-like, and stolen away Nana’s family. All he needs to do now is take back OfA and kill All Might. Then he’ll have everything he’s wanted.

Then, All Might smashes All for One’s Empire and head in, and he takes away All for One’s ability to be a part of the family he’d tried to create. Adding insult to injury, All Might takes Izuku under his wing 5 years later and gives him One for All. Stealing everything from All for One. (All but Shigaraki - the child pawn All for One raised to hurt All Might, not knowing his own grandson.)

And there you have it: Fling Theory!

380 notes · View notes

beyond-far-horizons · 4 years

Text

Analysing the Zutara Cave Scene from a Writing and Psychological perspective

Forgive me, I’m an enthusiastic newbie to the ATLA fandom and Zutara (mainly because I knew the ship was perfect for me but was not canon and so I held off watching it for years.) So I know you’ve heard it all before but I wanted to break down this famous scene in more depth from my background as both a writer and a student of psychology. It’s also important since the age old ship wars are being resurrected (which I want no part of) and Zutara and this scene has been looked down on and belittled from some quarters.

Warning - Wall of Text TM incoming!

The main thing that gets most people is these mortal enemies going from hating each other to being open and vulnerable in about five minutes of screen time. I get the impression more time and therefore more conversation has gone on off screen, but it’s amazing that Katara goes from tirade at the literal face of the Fire Nation (a country whose plagued her people and killed her mother, and Zuko himself who has hunted her and her friends, captured her at least twice and has had several intense fights with her)

to tenderly touching Zuko’s face and “let me use our one of its kind Holy Water TM to maybe heal your face.”

Also as others have pointed out Zuko lets this ‘peasant’ (who defeated him, wounded his pride and foiled his lifelong goal several times) touch his scar when he doesn’t let anyone else do that at this point, even girls he’s been close to.

I doubt many Zutara shippers think this happened because the two suddenly decided the other was hot, even though there might be an unconscious physical attraction under all the animosity. But no-one can deny the writers were trying to show a shared connection that makes them open up to each other. That to me makes the relationship much deeper whether it’s platonic or romantic.

Katara, despite her understandable rage at Zuko, is surprisingly open to forgiving and helping him as soon as he -

a) mentions they have something in common - the Fire Nation being responsible in some way for the loss of their mothers.

b) his resolution to make his own destiny and overcome his difficult past associated with the scar.

I just love this about her character. She’s passionate, feisty and full of integrity but she can’t stop herself wanting to help make things better, even to one of her worst enemies. Her compassion is such a strength and it comes out even more when she realises she’s accidentally hurt his feelings re his face.

Zuko in turn is softer with her than I’ve ever seen him with others, even Iroh most of the time. He doesn’t get angry or even really defensive and he opens up about his mother for the first time. Extraordinary considering he’s talking to an enemy.

But this isn’t the first time he’s tried to win Katara over against his normal combative persona. When he captured her in Ep 9 you’d expect him to threaten her, especially surrounded by his men and bloodthirsty pirates. Instead he asks for her understanding and tells her (the little peasant and enemy of the Fire Nation) about his lost honour.

He then goes momentarily into full skeevy villain mode (which I loved) and offers her necklace back by placing it round her neck. (As an aside, yes this was totally the wrong tactic considering it was her mother’s who the Fire Nation killed, but I do love that he unknowingly offered her a Water Tribe betrothal necklace.)

Analysing it more deeply from a writing and psychology perspective, I’d say Katara represents the integrity and vulnerability that is at the core of Zuko’s character - the thing that got him that scar and banishment from his warlike family.

The same side he struggles with and that Iroh tries to heal and encourage within him. It’s masterly from a writing POV that they brought this mirror up and allowed Zuko to connect and own this aspect of himself again briefly before Azula (the opposite representation and Zuko’s ‘shadow’) literally crashes the party. This is truly his ‘crossroads of destiny’, raising the stakes and therefore making us - the audience - ache all the more when Zuko makes the wrong but understandable decision to choose Azula and his family’s version of him and betray not just Katara but Iroh too (dat angst.)

(As an aside look at the framing of the above shot. They do this alot showing him literally caught between two sides. In the previous scene with Azula and Iroh, they show both the unscarred and then scarred profile of Zuko to show the ‘two sides of him’ symbolically represented by Azula and Iroh.)

Two sides, Fire and Water, the battle of opposites and the bringing of balance is of course the core of ATLA, and Zuko and Katara’s fraught relationship sums this theme up perfectly. Another reason so many still ship them and feel aggrieved by the non-canon ending.

I think Zuko is so wounded by Katara’s refusal to forgive him and so determined to earn that forgiveness is because she represents his true ‘honour’ - the right way to be - to fight for balance and justice with integrity no matter what. Thus he must make amends to her, not just as someone he has wronged, but as the mirror of that aspect in himself.

Thematically this is tied up beautifully in him asking her to join him to defeat Azula in the final season and them working together to do so.

(As another aside, the theme of balance and Yin and Yang is also mirrored in Zuko and Katara’s relationship and character development. At the start Katara is the caring, altruistic almost motherly sort and Zuko is the angry, aggressive pursuer. However like Yin and Yang that contain an aspect of the other within them, whenever Katara meets Zuko she becomes more aggressive and is allowed to process her grief and anger, unlike with her friends. Zuko, in turn is often softened by her, reawakening his compassion and deeper feelings. Yes these aspects are also fostered by others, but Season 3 highlights this dynamic to Zutara allowing Katara to address her anger and Zuko to practice caregiving and support.)

Coming back to the Cave Scene - the most poignant part for me isn’t actually the face touch (even though I love it). It’s the final glance between them as Katara and Aang leave. Katara looks back worried, it’s as if she can sense the threshold Zuko is on and feels torn between staying and supporting him and her duty to Aang. I feel if they had had more time together Azula would have had less chance to turn Zuko.

He looks back at her softly and there’s a beautiful musical cue, hinting at things unsaid and unfinished, she gives him a final lingering glance, still anxious, then goes.

We all know what happens next.

Conclusion

Looking at this from a purely plot point of view it -

raises the emotional stakes and therefore make Zuko’s betrayal hurt worse.

Sets up Zuko knowing about Katara’s healing abilities and Spirit Water so he knows there is a possibility the Avatar could be saved. This all plays into the shenanigans of Book 3, letting Zuko go back to the Fire Nation, Azula giving him the credit and then letting down her father etc.

Giving Zuko more character development work to earn everyone’s trust esp Katara’s when he finally makes the right choice.

However I’m surprised that Bryke didn’t realise how this episode would look to the eyes of most fans esp Zutarians. Yes you could say it’s hetero-normative and why can’t they be just platonic etc but it was the Noughties, it’s a kids show and they are blatantly playing into those well known tropes - Zuko’s previous verging-on flirtatious treatment of Katara, his uncharacteristic softness and openness with her, her touching his scar, the music, their lingering glances, Aang’s jealous look (you could argue it was animosity towards his enemy but while we get this from Zuko, it is definitely played as suspicion about a potential rival so close to ‘his girl’ from Aang’s side.)

Ultimately the writers didn’t choose the romantic route, which I feel is a real shame and missed opportunity because of the depth of feeling and potential there. But what I really resent is when people act like Zutarians were stupid and/or biased for seeing and loving that potential. I hope this analysis has shown that the romantic subtext was strong (and much more believable for me than with Katara and Aang) and in line with the core themes of ATLA itself. This also refutes the suggestion that Zutara was somehow dark, toxic or shallow cos ‘he’s a bad boy’ or something.

Zuko was owning his own struggles, emotions and destiny in this scene, it’s why Katara finally opens up to him. She doesn’t have to ‘do the work for him’, but she supports him in it as he supports her later on when he earns her forgiveness. And that’s why I love it!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk...

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #avatar the last airbender #meta #my meta #my writing #long post is long #wall of text tm #anti-kataang #better put that in there even though I don't really go into the rival ship #antis please don't interact I respect your right to ship let's be civil

550 notes · View notes

ilovemesomekillianjones · 3 years

Text

Navigating the Storm (1/4)

Summary: Emma Swan navigates the aftermath of Neverland by trying to deal with everything the way she always has, by locking all her feelings away. Between having to share Henry with two other people now, her parents confession in the Echo Caves, her parents pushing her towards a man she has no interest in, and feelings for another man that she never expected to feel, Emma is at the end of her rope. *Post Neverland - No Curse*

Author’s Note: Thank you to my friend @hollyethecurious for beta reading this story for me! I have had this written for about three months now and have finally put on the finishing touches. This is part 1 of 4 - I will post a chapter a week. Hope you guys enjoy!

Rated M 4.5K ao3 ffnet Under the cut, promise

It had been exactly two weeks since they’d stepped foot back in Storybrooke, since bringing Henry home safely from Neverland. Two weeks in which Emma Swan had had very few chances to just be, to just breathe. Each breath felt like it was choked by the need to scream or cry. Two weeks of restless nights and emotionally fraught days; parents urging her toward a man she did not want, her mom wanting a new baby, another mom wanting her baby, not that she held anything against Regina. Henry was as much Regina’s as he was hers, she knew that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t weigh heavily on her soul. And of course there was Neal, who had been an ever-present thorn in her side during the last two weeks.

Emma wanted to blame everything on Neal, it would be so easy, but she couldn’t do that, there was rarely only one person to blame. She had to take some responsibility, too. He’d been bugging her about giving their relationship another shot, about putting aside the past to make a better future for Henry. Each time, Neal’s words would hit the solid mass of her thick skull and bounce right off, while simultaneously invoking a silent wrath in her being. What the everloving fuck was he thinking? How could the two of them being together be good for anyone? It didn’t help that her parents both still thought Neal was a saint. It didn’t help that each time they unwittingly made little comments about her giving him a chance, it felt like a little more of the world weighed on her shoulders.

Each morning she dragged her feet getting out of bed, if only to delay dealing with the barrage of shit she didn’t want to hear about or deal with. Of course, if she was honest with herself, she’d admit the reason she was feeling like this was because she was effectively not dealing with any of it. But why choose now to be honest with herself, she’d been content to ignore every other issue she’d dodged in life, abandonment, intimacy, self-worth, why stop now?

Emma hadn’t felt emotional sadness like this since the days between finding out she was pregnant in prison and knowing she would have to give her baby up. Her body felt heavy, her mind felt clouded, and her soul was just… sad, there wasn’t a better word for it. She hated this feeling, and when the sadness became too overwhelming, anger often surged in, and no one needed an angry Emma Swan around. She loved her family and her family-by-extension, but she needed a break.

As she walked toward Granny’s at a molasses slow pace, hands shoved in her jacket pockets, head down, where she was meeting her parents, Neal, Henry, and Regina for a late dinner, her eyes filled with tears. She struggled to inhale air past the lump forming in her throat. A deep anger rose within her, mostly because she was pissed at herself for wanting to cry. She didn’t know how to make everyone understand what she was feeling and why she was feeling it. No one had ever taught her the healing power of communication, while growing up in foster care. As the anger finally defeated the desire to cry, Emma Swan did what all responsible folks do and locked that shit up, deep inside where no one would see it.

“I saved you a seat, Ems,” Neal offered as she entered the diner.

“Yeah, look mom, right between me and dad,” Henry piped in.

Emma glanced at the six of them, one seat between Neal and Henry, no doubt by design and one seat at the other end of the table by her dad. “Uh, I have to discuss a case with David,” she lied. And boy did that make her feel like Shittiest Mom of the Year. “I’ll come back in a few.”

Taking off her jacket, she sat next to her dad and began speaking with him about the new project they were working on to make Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department digital. There was truly nothing she needed to discuss with him right this instant, but she could not handle another manipulation by Neal, especially in front of Henry, about getting back together.

“Why don’t you go sit with Henry and Neal,” David whispered, “we can discuss this tomorrow at work.”

Sucking in a deep breath to tamp down the edge of anger that started to creep up on her, Emma realized there was a silver lining here. At least he had whispered.

“I’m perfectly fine where I’m at,” she quietly replied, affecting a sense of calm she didn’t really feel.

“Oh, honey,” her mother began in what was not a whisper, “go sit down there, let me get a picture of the three of you.”

And just like that, there was another brick piled on her shoulders. She understood that her parents really did want what was best for her. Why couldn’t they just magically understand that Neal wasn’t it? She could hear Neal trying to coax her over and her head started to spin. She really did need that break.

As she choked on the sob that wanted to escape, the bell above the entrance rang, and if she’d never experienced what being saved by the bell meant, she was right now. “Hook,” she murmured, just a little more breathlessly than strictly necessary.

“What?” Snow asked.

“Hook’s here,” Emma said. “Why don’t you join us for dinner, Hook?” Emma called over to him. He was just the buffer she needed tonight. She didn’t miss the intrigue in his eyes, which he quickly masked with a conciliatory smile that didn’t quite reach those pretty blue eyes.

“While I appreciate the offer, I don’t wish to intrude,” he answered graciously.

“You’re not intruding, we were just sitting down to eat a meal. Everyone has to eat.”

“Well, if all of their Royal Highnesses don’t mind,” he acquiesced.

“Everyone scoot one seat to their right,” Emma instructed, she didn’t expect him to sit next to Neal, not with the current state of affairs.

Snow stared at her daughter wide eyed and Emma just stared back through narrowed eyes, hoping that her expression conveyed, he did save your husband’s life.

“Ems, I thought you were going to sit with me and Henry,” Neal asked, failing to mask the irritation in his voice.

And I thought I was meeting you with the bag of watches, not the cops, Emma thought bitterly. If Neal was going to use Henry against her, he was going to be sorry. She wasn’t going to stoop to the level of using a child to get what she wanted, but she was also not going to be bulldozed by her ex.

“That’s okay, dad,” Henry intervened. “Mom can sit with her friend. How’s the fastest ship in all the realms, Captain?”

Emma beamed at her son’s cherubic nature. He was truly good. He was innocent and perfect, and she felt like she might cry again as her young son saved her again.

“She’s jolly good, m’boy,” Hook answered merrily, obviously tickled that Henry had asked about his pride and joy. Or maybe it was simply because this boy treated him with common courtesy. Hook had vowed to himself to turn over a new leaf when he’d turned his ship around to help Emma save her son, and although he knew that, most people still treated him like the pirate they’d known him to be.

“You okay, Swan?” Hook asked her quietly, as conversation started up around the table.

“I- yeah,” she said, slapping on a smile, and even though it was an effort to smile, she found that she wanted to smile for Hook. She also found that he knew she was lying.

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’ve a never ending supply of rum aboard the Jolly.”

“I might just take you up on that,” she laughed. And it felt really good to laugh.

“I thought you said you’d back off,” Neal seethed as he walked over to their end of the table.

Emma looked between the two men before quietly sounding a warning. “We do not need another pissing contest here,” she hissed.

“Contest,” Neal fumed. “There is no contest, I’m Henry’s father, he’s a home-wrecking pirate.”

Emma’s head began to swim again as she listened to Neal berate Hook, as she read between the lines of what he’d said. He felt like he deserved her because they bore a child together.

“Is everything okay?” David asked.

Emma closed her eyes and weakly shook her head no. She would lose it if her parents got involved.

“Here Neal, why don’t you take my seat,” Snow offered.

Emma shook her head no again, but apparently no one was looking at her.

“Haven’t you destroyed enough lives?” Neal asked.

Emma’s eyes shot open and she’d hit just about her limit. Her throat felt like it was almost swollen shut as that urge to scream or cry or both, came raging back.

“Haven’t you done enough damage, Hook?”

“Bae-” Hook started

“Stop calling me that!”

“Neal,” Hook corrected, “it is not my intent to come between you and Emma. I was merely accepting the invitation she offered. I did say I would back off, I didn’t say I would ignore Emma if she requested my company.”

“Back off from what?” Emma asked, feeling a little annoyed that they’d been discussing her like a - she didn’t know what.

“Swan, I merely told Ba- Neal that I would not interfere if you two decided to pursue a chance at a family with Henry.”

“I think that is very noble, Hook,” Snow inserted.

“Not now, mom.”

“Well Emma, it’s only fair that you two have a real shot, now that you’ve been reunited,” Snow argued, “and I was just saying that I think it’s noble of Hook to put his feelings for you aside to give you and Neal that chance.”

That was it, that was her limit. Chances? Reunited? FAIR? The lights flickered twice before pitching Granny’s in darkness. Emma stood up and placed both her palms flat down on the table.

“Regina,” Emma said in a ragged voice, barely containing her emotions, which she desperately wanted to contain with Henry present. “Take him home, please.”

“Come on, Henry. I have lasagna at home,” Regina said, without having to be asked again. She could feel the energy of the situation sizzling about, and she knew only too well the magical properties of raw emotion. Of course Henry instinctively knew to listen as well. “Granny’s is closed,” Regina announced, “Mayor’s orders.”

The several patrons around had the good sense to slap some money on the counter and head out.

“I love you, mom. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Henry said as he and Regina readied to leave. He came to her end of the table and gave her a hug.

“I love you too, kid,” Emma responded as she ruffled Henry’s hair, and the lights flickered back to life.

Once Henry and Regina were gone, Emma eyed her parents. She tried breathing in and out slowly. She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t want to hurt them, she didn’t want to cry. But something had to give.

“Mom, Dad,” she whispered, as she knew her voice would crack if she attempted to speak in a normal voice. “I’ve been having a really-” a broken sob overtook Emma, halting her words. Her face crumbled, tears filling her eyes and falling to her cheeks, as the full weight of what she’d been dealing with overwhelmed her.

“Oh honey,” Snow cried as she stood up to try and comfort her daughter.

Emma held up a hand and shook her head no at her mother. “Please… don’t. I have to do this.”

Snow’s face fell as her daughter rejected her, but she sat back down to comply with her daughter’s wishes.

“Go on, Emma,” her father said quietly.

Nodding her head, she took another big breath. “I’ve been having a really hard time since we came back from Neverland. I’m happy that you want a new baby, I am, but it also hurt to hear that you wanted to have a chance to experience everything we never got to, and I know that’s not your fault, but it still hurts. And I am happy that Henry has Regina, because no matter what, she really does love him. But it hurts to have to share him with her when we have a third person to share him with now, it’s less time, when I’ve already missed so much.”

“It wouldn’t be if you spent time with me and Henry,” Neal muttered.

“Goddammit, Neal!” Emma yelled, pounding her fists on the table. “You have got to stop that. I’m struggling with my parents wanting a new baby and I am struggling with sharing Henry with you. But my biggest problem, the one that eats away at me every day, is you! I can’t stand the way you try to manipulate me in front of my son, making it seem like I’m the only reason we can’t be a family. You showed up to Storybrooke with a fiancée, don’t act like you came back here to win me over or some other noble bullshit. And I can’t stand that my parents think you should be my happy ending.” Another sob choked her words and she paused to catch her breath. “You will never be my happy ending,” she yelled before leaving the diner.

Emma jogged down the walkway, unsure of where to go, but knowing she couldn’t remain in there one second longer. She didn’t want to see the looks she’d put on her parents’ faces anymore and she didn’t want to deal with Neal. After an hour of wandering, she found herself down by the icy cold shoreline. She sat down in the freezing sand and folded her arms around her legs. Resting her chin on her knees, she lamented the fool she’d made of herself and the mess she’d made of things.

“Awfully cold for camping at the beach,” Hook said.

Emma jumped so hard, it hurt her butt when she landed back in the unforgiving sand. “Jesus Christ, you scared me. Are you following me?”

“Sorry, love,” Hook apologized, holding hand and hook in the air as he always did when she went on the offensive. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. And no, I am not following you. I was up on the deck of my ship and saw your golden hair in the moonlight; wanted to make sure you don’t catch your death out here.” He handed her a blanket.

“Thank you,” she said through chattering teeth, only now realizing just how cold it was. “You probably need to invest in some warmer clothes if you’re planning to stay in Storybrooke for the winter.”

“Is that an invitation, Swan?”

She just rolled her eyes as she held her hand out to him to help her up.

“Don’t worry your heart, I am plenty hot,” he flirted, extending his hand and pulling her up.

“You are plenty full of yourself is what you are,” she laughed. “I don’t know why I ended up here. I just… I cannot go home. I should probably see if Granny has a room available. Paying her some rent is the least I could do after clearing out her customers.”

Hook scratched behind his ear, his nervous habit that always made Emma chuckle inside, because how did The Captain Hook have a nervous tic?

“You could stay on the Jolly, if you like. You know, instead of walking back to Granny’s.”

“Is that an invitation, Hook?” Emma countered.

“Actually, it is,” he said as he bowed deeply, holding his right hand out in the direction of his ship.

She decided it was probably her best option for the night. She didn’t want to see her parents at the loft, she definitely didn’t want to risk running into Neal at Granny’s, and she was far too proud to ask Regina for a crash pad. So, she followed the direction of Hook’s extended hand and headed to the Jolly.

“Thank you,” she mumbled as they headed down into the Captain’s Quarters. It was only slightly warmer below deck, and she wondered how cold he got at night.

“Perhaps a little gratitude is in order,” he smirked, pointing his finger to his lips as he had done several weeks ago.

Emma didn’t even have to think about it this time. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and backing him up against the wall. She kissed him just as passionately as she had back on that Hell Island, but this time, she had no intent of limiting their activities to just a kiss.

“Swan,” he moaned against her mouth.

“Hmmm?” she hummed as she continued to learn his mouth and his tongue which had come out to play.

She loved the way his hook felt pressed at her back and the way his hand cupped her cheek before sliding into her hair. She took the opportunity to quickly run her hands up through his chest hair before shifting them up under his jacket to divest him of it.

“Swan, stop,” he whispered between kisses. “Stop, darling.”

Emma immediately pulled back. Like, what? “What’s the problem,” she asked defensively.

“I apologize lass, it was a poorly timed Neverland reference.”

“A… joke?” Emma’s head began spinning again. One million thoughts ran through her head as her brows furrowed and panic hit her eyes. Her mouth turned down as a strangle hold settled over her... rejection. She’d had one melt down and now she was damaged goods in his eyes. A one time thing, she’d said, and he was the one who was going to enforce it. “I have to go,” she muttered, mind already on auto pilot to the lovely land of orphans-aren’t-worthy-of-love.

Killian quickly blocked her path to the door. Bad move.

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way,” she seethed. “You don- don’t want me...” Oh fuck, she panicked, the tears were going to start again. When would this roller coaster come crashing to a halt? Emma Swan, Dumpster Fire, she mused, it had a truer ring than Emma Swan, Savior.

“Don’t you tell me what I want or do not want,” Hook reprimanded. “I want you, I have wanted you, far more and far longer than you know.” He stepped into her space and lifted her chin with his hook, until she had no choice but to look into his eyes. “Make no mistake about that, love.” A fire burned between them, something palpable, and only by sheer force of will, was Hook denying himself the pleasure she’d been looking to bring him mere moments before.

Truth. Truth is what she saw in Hook’s eyes. “Then why are you pushing me away,” she asked, lips still quivering with the threat of tears.

“Because I won’t exploit your emotions, that would be the pinnacle of bad form.”

“What?”

Hook took her hand and led her to sit on his bed. “Emma, you just confessed major hurt and heartache to your parents. You obviously have unresolved issues with Bae, and you’re harboring a sadness that is ruling your emotions. Despite Neverland and everything that happened there, I have never seen you this close to the brink of despair.”

A tear slipped down as Hook brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “Look at me, Emma.”

She sniffled, but complied, as she realized he was not going to continue until she looked at him.

“You are strong, and you will get through this, but a quick romp in the sack is not part of the solution. I cannot in good conscience let you lead us down a path that you will undoubtedly regret. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.”

“If I don’t get to tell you what you do or don’t want, then you shouldn’t get to tell me what I will or won’t regret,” she huffed.

Hook smiled at the fire that lit his Swan, and continued on, “I did promise Bae that I would back off, I thought it was best for Henry, if it was what you wanted as well.”

“I don’t want that,” Emma interrupted.

“I know you don’t want that. Tonight made that clear,” he assured her. “But tonight also showed that you have some things to work out. I am here for you, Emma, and no matter what our future holds, I will stand by your side and help you traverse all of it. But where matters of our hearts are concerned, I cannot be your port in this storm if you only plan to pack up and set sail when the tide calms and the tempest parts.”

Tears surged forth once more as she lunged at Hook again, but this time just to throw herself into his embrace. She didn’t even know why she was crying, but she knew that this, him, everything he’d just said, this was what she needed. Someone to stand by her side, someone to accept her for her, someone who knew that she had shitty baggage but was okay with it and wanted to help her lighten her load. “I just want to forget, I want five minutes where I don’t feel like everything is closing around me like a vice.”

“That’s it lass, everything is going to be okay, I promise,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. “Let it out, crying can be quite cathartic when you let it.”

Emma cried a little harder as she listened to his soothing voice. She sat up many moments later when she’d cried herself out. Wiping away her tears, she looked at the man next to her. “How did you get so wise,” she asked in a nasally, I’ve-been-crying voice.

“How’s that?”

“About crying being cathartic.”

“Ah,” Hook chuckled as he blushed a bit. “You pick up some things as the centuries pass. I may have learned that sometimes letting out pent up emotion is better than harbouring it until it blows up.”

“Thank you, Killian,” she whispered, before leaning in and tenderly placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“You called me Killian.”

The bit of awe in his eyes made Emma giggle. “That is your name, isn’t it?”

“Aye, but you know what I mean, love,” he chuckled with her.

She laughed again until she was caught in a yawn that wracked her whole body.

“Let me get you something to sleep in.” Hook went to an antique armoire and pulled out one of his shirts and a pair of long johns. “These should keep you warm.” After handing them to her, he placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll let you get some rest, no doubt your day has been taxing.” Then he turned to leave.

Before he could make it to the door, Emma reached out to grab his hook. He turned around to see what she needed.

“Will you stay with me?”

His eyes pleaded with her not to tempt him into breaking his word. His good form.

“I promise I won’t jump your bones, sailor.” She rolled her eyes playfully, but then she glanced away and folded her arms around herself, a vulnerability encasing her whole form before she spoke again. “I just want you to hold me,” she whispered.

His chest ached for her, for this tender side of Emma Swan that he’d never been privy to. Why would he ever deny her something as simple as holding her? “Of course, love.” After changing into something passable for sleep attire, he joined Emma in his bed.

“I know this is going to sound sappy, but today, at Granny’s, when you showed up, I was on the brink of losing my mind,” Emma confessed as she lay snuggled against his side, his right arm wrapped around her, making her feel safe. “But when I saw you, I felt like… like I might be able to get through it, like everything would be okay, if only you were with me. That’s why I asked you to stay.”

“And did it help, having me there?”

“All I know is, even though I didn’t say everything I need to get off my chest, I did get through part of it, and I am glad you were there.”

“Happy to oblige, darling.” Hook craned his neck forward to place a kiss to the crown of her head.

Pulling the blankets up to her neck, Emma shivered. “Give me your other arm, you’re warmer than these blankets.”

“My hook,” he said, holding up the shiny version of his moniker. “I wouldn’t want to accidentally harm you.”

“Then take it off,” Emma responded as though it were the most obvious answer in the world.

“I don’t think so, love.”

“Why not?” she asked, sitting up to look at him.

Hook took advantage of his freed arm and scrubbed his hand over his face. “It’s not a sight I wish you to see, it’s actually quite revolting.”

“I don’t believe for a second that any part of Killian Jones is revolting,” Emma said, gently pulling his left arm toward her.

“Swan,” he groaned.

“Killian, you saw me at my most vulnerable today, and you didn’t run for the hills. I won’t either,” she promised softly. “I don’t think you understand that what I like about you is this,” she placed her hand over his heart, “the man you are.”

Killian placed his hand over hers, where it rested on his chest and brought it to his brace. “Okay then, go ahead.”

Carefully unfastening the buckles, Emma pulled the entire brace away from his arm. She held his forearm in one hand and ran the fingers of her other hand over the scarred flesh, inspecting the damage. Although Hook was right, it wasn’t a “pretty” sight, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he would have had her believe. “Does it still hurt?”

“Aye, sometimes.”

She delicately massaged in a downward motion, from his forearm to the end of his wrist, and watched his face. He wasn’t making eye contact with her, but rather, watching her ministrations. He looked half panic stricken, like he might bolt, and half enchanted by her touch. She followed the pattern several times until he’d fully relaxed to her touch. “See, was that so bad?”

Hook’s face was a deep shade of red and his entire body had broken out in goosebumps. He didn’t know how to answer her question. He had never willingly let another person see his mutilated arm, let alone touch it. On one hand, it was that bad, he felt laid bare before her and he was still dressed. On the other hand, or hook, as it were, he felt something akin to what she had explained earlier, like he would be okay, because she was there. “I suppose not,” he murmured, all the more enamored by this enchanting woman.

“Good.” Laying back down, she wrapped both his arms around her and snuggled into him. “Much better.” Emma slept better that night than she had since they’d come home from Neverland.

Tagging some lovelies - please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

@laschatzi @qualitycoffeethings @hookedonapirate @wordsmith-storyweaver @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @wyntereyez @hooklineandswan @teamhook @let-it-raines @whimsicallyenchantedrose @spartanguard @tiganasummertree@apromisednightcap @xemmaloveskillianx @elizabeethan @cocohook38 @optomisticgirl @darkcolinodonorgasm @jennjenn615 @timeless-love-story @girl-in-a-tiny-box @thesschesthair @galadriel26 @ultraluckycatnd @lifeinahole27 @therooksshiningknight @kday426 @djlbg @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @lfh1226-linda @delightfully-difficult-pirate @thejollyswan @csalltheway @xarandomdreamx @vvbooklady1256 @withheartfulloflove @resident-of-storybrooke @mcakers @gingerchangeling @searchingwardrobes @snowbellewells

#cs ff #cs fan fic #captain swan #captain swan ff #captain swan fan fiction

104 notes · View notes

swimfuel · 3 years

Note

Hey!! The X-men are literally my favorite thing and I was wondering if you could elaborate on how Scott is a knight of doom

YES OF COURSE!!!! i'll put it under a cut since i tend to ramble a bit & i'm pulling a bunch of explanations from people smarter than i am

the knight weaponizes their aspect; they have an inherent understanding of their aspect that allows them to exploit it completely. doom is the aspect of systems, restrictions/limitations, sacrifices, and endings.

one of scott's core themes is reclaiming his restrictions in order to serve others/the greater good! he takes the possible liability that are his faulty powers and shifts them to become an advantage, largely through the strength of his restraint and discipline. his role as a tactician and the way he sees sacrifices (more on that later) also mesh EXTREMELY well with the knight of doom.

i feel like the Wh*don run (specifically astonishing x-men #22-23) really highlights how scott can turn a situation on its head through exploiting his disadvantages to the point where they become tactically advantageous!! like, let's count the ways:

the ship the x-men stole from kruun is obviously bugged, so his team won't be able to communicate without being overheard. he realizes this, and uses that restriction (being overheard) as an advantage, by falsifying their course of action.

he has been left "without his powers"—he presents a restriction that lowers the guard of his adversary and grants him entry to their home base. he then subverts this by exploding the shit out of everything when an opportune moment arrives

HE LITERALLY EXPLOITS DEATH...... HE EXPLOITS HIS OWN DEATH...................FOR THE GREATER GOOD..........DUDE???? someone get this man an advil

some more thoughts, followed by some examples by people smarter than me:

he exhibits a similar pattern of idolization/realization with xavier irt karkat/HICand dave/bro.... not sure if this by itself is a knight-y thing but i think the consistent disillusionment with their role in defending their aspect is interesting (aka knight burnout, more on that later)

he is def willing to sacrifice shit for the greater good of mutantkind. the shit in question sometimes being his closest friends and allies. the examples that stick out to me are how he allowed beast to get tortured (utopia era) while executing his plan to solve All His Problems At Once & also when he sent x-force to the future to defend hope knowing it was going to be a one-way trip

that entire issue revolving around just how GOOD scott is at self-repression😭😭😭 i'm pretty sure it's post-schism utopia era i don't remember the exact issue WAIT NVM i'm pretty sure it's uncanny #518

seeing phoenix!scott as an inversion to (rogue of) life is also an interesting concept (unchecked growth!)

the amount of responsibility he feels he has to take on (partially due to his idolization cycle w xavier/xavier's dream) is also both knight-y and doom-y

and of course the instinct to protect the people around him --> being expanded into the whole of mutantkind (which, in turn, expands his sense of obligation)

everything leading up to revolutionary cyclops is also very interesting through this framework because its reminiscent of the knights & doom players in hs! the "taking on an insane burden" (phoenix force, whatever whammied mituna) -> the "resignation to the fate handed to him by his aspect" (his stint in prison, dead daves, sollux in general) -> the "refusal to accept that fate" (prison break, dave not wanting to use time travel, sollux fucking off into the dreambubbles, karkat coming to terms w his relationship w leadership) --> experiencing knight burnout at the end of revolutionary era going into death of x

im not sure exactly how to put it into words but everything about his childhood/teenhood... like being surrounded by forces seeking to control him and use him for their own ends..... idk

(from @/land-of-classpects-and-analysis, sections highlighted red are of particular interest)

HIS GIANT STINKING MARTYR COMPLEX.....DUDE😭😭

side note & ive mentioned this before but scottjean is an interesting parallel to davejade in a way i cant verbalize

Then there are the ones who may accept [the fact of inevitable human suffering], and so choose to live in high alert of any danger - any threats - as well as living in fear of what harm may befall them and/or their loved ones. It is this third and final group of people that so deeply marks that of the Knight of Doom.

Now, this might cause a few eyebrows to become quirked. After all, a Knight? Being fearful of something - nevertheless that thing being related to their Aspect? Knights do often present themselves as ruthless and fearless warriors, yes, but that is only because their Aspects and the world around them raised and called them to act as such.

... A key factor in the Knight’s life, specifically before their journey truly begins, is that they are already well equipped with their Aspect.

... The Knight of Doom is one where their Aspect being all around them is far more bittersweet than anything else.

... What is important to acknowledge is that the facade the Knight of Doom puts up is not only to hide the fear they have for their Aspect, but it is most definitely there to hide the grief and pain they have not yet completely finished going through. Whether it’s been weeks or years, the Knight of Doom is someone who would rather hide themself away from these feelings than find a way to truly mend and heal them ... they have built a false wall between them and their suffering strong and thick enough to partially block it from their memory.

... Knights are known to become extremely stubborn whenever people try to order them around and pressure them into doing something, and the Knight of Doom is no different - especially if they believe what they are doing is for the greater good.

(from @/dahniwitchoflight)

Dahni’s Explanantion: “Doom can be a negative force that rejects and harms, fostering a sense of hostility or sadness. But, it is also the idea that you can pull backwards and cautiously and wisely withdraw into your own self. It can be the idea of Control taken from the sharp Black and White Restrictions that everything in the world gets sorted into. It understands community necessity and need, responsibly pulling back and lowering you down into its lap to help wind yourself down. Doom then is an ultimate gentle Equalizer, instilling its players with an internal sense of Acceptance and eventually true Wisdom.”

Knight of Doom: One who Exploits with Doom or Exploits Doom

Knights hide a fear of a perceived fundamental failure with their Aspect behind a shield of confidence and obsessive effort. Their challenge is to learn to take it down a notch and to understand that they are skilled enough

A Knight is very skilled with using the rules and limitations of any game or session to their advantage. They skillfully fulfill any responsibility or obligation required of them with ease. They might use their natural caution and pessimism to make realistic choices and endeavors. They use and exploit any rule or limit that they can to their advantage. They might also be very good at exploiting any sacrifices made or any obligation or responsibility that they are held to. They might be very good at avoiding any unnecessary thing or person and are very good at recognizing when something is too futile to even bother with.

Likewise they might only focus on the necessary things in their game or session so they are likely to not do much unless it’s absolutely necessary. They would very likely be very meticulous with themselves about following the rules properly and constantly restrict themselves, maybe thinking they aren’t following the rules properly enough or not following the right ones. They might sacrifice anything they consider unnecessary about themselves or the way they live, sometimes even going too far with it, in order to be considered or thought of as less useless. They’re always trying harder and holding themselves to extreme self-imposed standards.

They would likely wait for the opportune moment to strike, though they are slow to move or act, they always will when something necessary needs to happen. Out of all the Doom players, a Knight of Doom seems like the one most likely to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. A Knight of Doom can also expertly use and exploit fire, bombs and explosions to their advantage, maybe they create flashy distractions during fights. They might even use decaying or dying things to their advantage.

(from @/communistvriska)

Role in the Session: Rather like the Prince of Doom, this role’s title kinda has “edgelord” written all over it, but that’s not a set-in-stone character trait. The first thing that comes to mind re: what the Knight Class and the Aspect of Doom have in common is a strong sense of obligation. The Knight of Doom is bound to take their duties and responsibilities Extremely Seriously, perhaps rather too seriously at first ... Knights also tend to be very protective of both their Aspect as a concept, and of themselves and those close to them; while the Knight of Doom isn’t likely to be outwardly aggressive, given Doom’s reserved, slow-burn tendencies, woe betide those who try to deceive or confound the Knight or their allies. One of Doom’s internal contradictions (which I find personally fascinating) is that the aspect is associated both with cynical resignation and with a profound albeit restrained sense of passion and persistence. Doom is what’s left after everything else gets burnt away.

The Knight of Doom will likely be a very skilled combatant, as the Knight is a class strongly associated with Strife / battle, and Doom is one of the more overtly destructive Aspects. I’d put them in the Top 5 Roles to use a cool flamin sword, at least. They’re not going to be eager to fight, per se, but they’re not going to have much trouble scaling the echeladder when it comes to that either. Internally, they’re likely to struggle with a perceived (but largely imagined) inability to fulfill their duties, and they could well stumble once or twice in their quest to be perceived as reliable and stoic, or as someone who their friends can lean on. They’re probably doing more than enough already, but if they’re not careful they might overexert themselves and take on too heavy a burden, and they’re liable to be crushed by their own expectation that they face their challenges alone. This is going to factor into their capital-Q Quest and the environment of their planet, and will be the biggest obstacle in their path to Ascension. A Knight’s duty is to protect their co-players, but their co-players also have to support them.

#mail #scott summers

22 notes · View notes

weebrecs · 4 years

Text

Recommended Romance Anime Part 2

Hi Everyone, Someone messaged me asking for straight romance anime recommendations. I already made one list here: (https://weebrecs.tumblr.com/post/157666048002/recommended-romance-anime) and I have included more below. The ones with the *** are movies. I hope you enjoy!!

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (9/10) Chiyo is the definition of adorable and loveable, at least for everyone except for the person that she likes. Nozaki is oblivious to the world around him and most of all Chiyo’s interest in him. However, Nozaki’s distance is due to him actually being a respectable shoujo mangaka. In her efforts to win his heart Chiyo finds herself acting as Nozaki’s assistant. Together they undergo hilarious situations and act out possible scenarios for Nozaki’s manga. Nozaki asks Chiyo to help him with brainstorming situations for his romance manga and Chiyo swoons just like the protagonist of the manga, and Nozaki starts wondering where the manga ends and true love begins. It is a great show to watch and has interesting character development as Chiyo goes from a girl that has a simple crush to a girl with real reason and purpose. Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, School Life

Lovely Complex (8/10) If you love height differences then this is the show for you. Meet Koizumi who is much taller than the average girl and Ootani who is much shorter than the average guy. They are known as a Comedy Duo and they are constantly play tricks or making gags at the other’s expense. However, they soon learn that they have more in common then they first realized when their crushes end up falling for each other. Then as soon as they both start to realize that they might be falling for each other too the question of their mismatched heights comes up. Romance, Comedy, Height difference

Ouran High School Host Club (8/10) Haruhi is an insanely bright and gifted girl that just wants some peace and quiet. She sneaks into a music room to get alone and stumbles into the school’s host club. Frantically she tries to remove herself from the situation and shatters an expensive vase. Since she’s a scholarship student without a lot of money she doesn’t know how she’ll pay to replace the vase. However, the host club has an option for her. Join Haruhi as she meets a delight cast of male hosts that slowly find themselves changing due to Haruhi’s influence. Haruhi starts to learn about life outside of books and the boys learn to love someone. I love how relaxed this show is at times and how crazy the characters and situations are. Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, School Life

Skip Beat (9/10) Kyouko is willing to bend over backwards to help her childhood friend, Shou, in his dreams of becoming famous. Out of the goodness of her heart she helps him basically live his life. She thinks that they are perfect together then everything changes when she over hears him telling someone that Kyouko is like is his servant. Furious Kyouko stops supporting him and decides that if she built him to become a famous celebrity then she could do it for herself too. As she grows she meets someone that can help her not only gain her revenge on Shou but someone that might actually treat her right. This is an encouraging love story that shows that people that love you can bring out the best in you Romance, Comedy, Show Business, Revenge

Akagami no Shirayuki-hime (8/10) This is a modern retelling of Snow White, but this time with a twist: she has red hair. There are two season of this anime and if you love romance animes with a dash of adventure you’ll love this one. Shirayuki is a skilled herbalist who is noticed by a prince. Terrified that she’ll live a kept life she escapes and is rescued by Zen (who is adorable and perfect…goodness I love him!). Zen brings her to his castle and their life begins. Slowly friendship turns into romance. Romance, Adventure

Akatsuki no Yona (9/10) When I first read the synopsis of this I thought it was going to be one of those off animes that wouldn’t win me over, but I was wrong. This show introduces Yona who is the princess of a well off kingdom, but when the King is betrayed by Yona’s cousin Yona must act swiftly. She escapes danger with her bodyguard Hak (I think you mean Hunk—sorry lol). Together they team up to save Yona’s kingdom. Action, Adventure, Reverse Harem, Romance

Ao Haru Ride (8/10) After risking everything for a boy she met in a rain shelter, Futaba is ready to turn her life around in high school. She is determined to have friends and be liked by everyone. Her plan is foolproof until the boy she met returns and so do her feelings for him. However, he is different from the boy that had betrayed Futaba in the past. Together they need to learn more about themselves and each other. This show is emotional and shows the sacrifices we all make for those we love. School Life, Blooming Romance

Fruits Basket (9/10) This show has recently been rebooted and is expecting a second season. It tells the story of Honda who has lost her mother in an accident and goes to live with her grandfather. However, as renovations are being done at her house she lies to her grandfather and tells him that she’s going to live with a friend. When she is actually pitching a tent in the woods. The esteemed Souma family actually owns the woods that Honda hides in and the prince of the school Yuki Souma invites Honda to stay in his house, but the Souma’s have a secret. They are possessed by the Chinese Zodiac spirits, and will turn into their respective animals if they’re hugged by the opposite gender. This series is adorable and super fun to watch. The characters are all special in their own way. Comedy, Zodiac, Mystery, School Life, Supernatural, Romance

***Hotarubi no Mori e (10/10) I love this movie it is so beautiful. Hotaru has been fond of the mysterious tale of the mountain god since she was six and after she loses her way in the mountain forest, she stumbles into a masked spirit named Gin. Together they begin their unlikely friendship. Gin informs Hotaru that they can play together as long as she doesn’t get too close. They start to spend every summer together and Hotaru helps Gin learn what is means to be human and love someone. Soon they find that the distance that they are keeping between them is slowly shrinking. This movie is epically beautiful, romantic, and heart wrenching. Spirit, Supernatural, Romance

Ore Monogatari!! (10/10) Are you sick of the romance animes filled with beautiful girls and handsome princes? Well then it’s time to watch Ore Monogatari staring an unlikely anime pairing: Takeo Gouda and Rinko Yamato. Yamato is the definition of adorable and angelic; while Takeo struggles with love due to his tall and muscular build. Takeo’s appearance might be a little rough, but under it all he has a heart of gold. However, few ever see it since Takeo’s best friend Makoto is the definition of an anime prince. Without trying Makoto is a girl magnet and Takeo finds that people only talk to him to try and get close with Makoto. But when Takeo saves Yamato he instantly falls for her. He worries that she’s only being nice to him to gain Makoto’s love, but in truth she actually like Takeo and not Makoto. I love how this shakes up the romance genre and I love Makoto and Takeo’s friendship. Every time Yamato is on the screen I swoon. She is precious! Comedy, Friendship, Romance, First Love, Dorks

Your Lie in April (10/10) This is one of those romance animes that you hear rumors about. You know it will hurt you, but you have to watch it anyway because it’s a masterpiece. It is a truly enjoyable watch! Plus, the animation is breathtaking. Kousei is a great piano player and under the tutelage of his mother he excels in the competitions. Then his mother dies and Kousei turns from music and his world begins to turn grey. Until his world us turned upside down by Kaori, an outstanding violinist who is anything but traditional. She is free-spirited and challenges Kousei to join her in exploring music once more. Kousei starts to fall in love with music again and also finds himself falling for the girl that added color back into his world. Together they enhance each other’s musical ability and change each other’s lives. Music, Romance, Mystery, Friendship, School Life

***Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo (10/10) The last year is difficult for everyone, but for Makoto it is crazy since she can literally jump through time. She doesn’t really understand this new-found power and must learn how to control it. She fosters old and new relationships and might even fall in love, but with all time travel sacrifices must be made. I really don’t want to say too much because it could ruin the plot, but just trust me—watch it. Mystery, Supernatural, Time Travel, Romance

#anime recommendation #Romance anime #your lie in april #gekkan shoujo nozaki kun #Lovely Complex #ouran high school host club #skip beat #akagami no shirayukihime #Ao Haru Ride #Fruits Basket #Hotarubi no Mori e #ore monogatari #the girl who leapt through time

2K notes · View notes

winryofresembool · 3 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 34

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, please don't ask me what part

A/N: Woop, not as long a wait as earlier! I am kind of surprised that this chapter ended up being easier for me to write than the previous one despite the emotional stuff L&C are talking about in it. But I'm also extremely happy I got it done!

Hmmm, should I say anything else? I guess I just hope you guys enjoy this monster chapter! (almost 5k words, a lot for me) And please, please let me know what you think of this chapter because I really, /really/ want to know!

Words: 4900+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

It took Calypso a while to collect herself after her breakdown. On one hand, she felt bad that she had yelled at Leo like that, especially in front of Georgina. But on the other hand, she felt he had deserved it. When Leo had asked her if something was wrong, she had already been emotional because of the song and the feelings it had made her realize. When she added the frustrations caused by the ‘present incident’ and also her fear for her future and what her father might do to that, she was kind of surprised that she had managed to stay calm even that long.

After she had made sure that the redness on her face had faded a bit and she would be able to speak in a normal tone, she finally joined Leo’s family who had just started preparing the dinner. Leo himself wasn’t present; apparently Festus had been expecting a long Christmas walk, but Calypso still wondered briefly if that was only an excuse. Luckily she did quite enjoy cooking while listening to Jo and Emmie’s stories because that gave her something else to think about.

The dinner guests arrived about an hour later. Among them was a man named ‘Lit’ (Calypso had to raise her eyebrow at the nickname), who apparently took care of an actual living elephant among other things. With him was the ‘Golden Haired Dude’ whom Georgina had mentioned earlier, only he had dyed his hair brown recently. He introduced himself as Lester and he mentioned liking music, which piqued Calypso’s interest but she didn’t have a chance to ask more about it during the dinner. The two had also brought Lester’s young ‘master’ Meg with them. Calypso was still too distraught by the earlier events to really focus on getting to know those people better, but somehow they, especially the two men, seemed to be even louder than Leo was usually. Meg seemed nice, though, and Calypso found out that they shared an interest in gardening. She still noticed wishing that the dinner would be over fast so she could just withdraw into her room and try to calm down a bit.

***

”Alright, what’s going on here?”

Jo and Emmie dragged Leo and Calypso out of the dining room after the dinner. Calypso didn’t understand why; they had managed to behave perfectly neutrally while the guests had been there, at least in her opinion. Well, honestly speaking neither of them had talked much - mostly when they were asked some standard questions like ‘what do you study again?’ - but that was probably for the best. Otherwise Calypso might have said something she would have regretted.

“What do you mean?” Leo asked Jo defensively. “It’s not like I step danced on the dining table or anything like that! We were behaving just fine!”

“Mr. Valdez,” Jo used her most threatening voice, which actually intimidated even Calypso who had gotten used to many kinds of threatening in the past. “In your case that means that something is definitely going on. I have not gone through a single Christmas dinner with you where you haven’t tried to tell at least one of your favorite Santa jokes. And yes, don’t think we have just forgotten what happened this morning.”

“Besides, Calypso’s eyes have been red since this afternoon,” Emmie added. So she had noticed, Calypso sighed in her mind. She had made sure to wash her face carefully with cool water after her little mental breakdown and had even added some concealer under her eyes to hide the redness but of course these two wouldn’t miss a thing.

“And we did notice your glares at the table,” Jo finally finished the chastising.

“Listen, moms.” Leo crossed his arms. “I appreciate you trying to help but this is between Cal and me.”

“Alright,” Jo said. “Then how about you try to deal with it while doing the dishes.”

“Wait, what?” Leo protested. “Georgie needs my help with building the 1000 piece puzzle she got from the neighbors; I promised her I would…”

“Georgina can wait,” Emmie said firmly. “Leo, Calypso is our guest and no matter what your issue is, you two are adults and you should be able to talk it out maturely.”

Calypso had already learned to know the two women well enough to be able to tell that once they had decided something, you wouldn’t be able to change their minds easily. She too did want to protest because this was not how she wanted to do her ‘grand talk’ with Leo, but it seemed rather pointless. They really did need to talk, and the sooner they’d get it done, the sooner they might be able to find some sort of normalcy in their situation. Maybe. Calypso didn’t think their relationship had ever been particularly ‘normal’.

“Alright, we’ll do the dishes,” she said eventually. “But I don’t know what happens after that. I guess it depends.”

“Hmm, I guess we can’t ask more than that,” Emmie nodded. “OK, we’ll leave you two to it. And if anything breaks, remember, you will be replacing it!” she referred to the fancier dinnerware they had been using that day.

“As if I would even dream of breaking your plates,” Leo mumbled when his mothers were already on their way out of the room. Calypso almost snorted at his comment before she remembered that she was mad at him, and simply made a sound that was a bit like a sneeze.

An awkward silence fell in the room once the flatmates were alone.

“Well…” Calypso finally broke it after they had been scrubbing the dishes for several minutes without saying anything.

“Yeah…?”

“Are we going to talk about what happened today or not?” She folded her arms, dropping some soap water on the floor in the process.

“I don’t know, are we?” Leo attempted to provoke her, but he was lacking his usual spunk. When Calypso kept glaring at him, he finally sighed. “Listen. I know I acted like an idiot earlier. What else is new? But the thing is, this day is just… always getting to me. I can’t help it. I know it sounds pathetic, but…”

Leo was stopped by Calypso’s hand around his wrist. “I know what happened to your mother. I mean, the full story. Jo and Emmie told me. What happened was really, really horrible, but that doesn’t excuse you yelling like that when I was only trying to help. You also really made us worry when you ran away like that. I was afraid something was going to happen to you! And when you came back, you were acting like nothing had happened! Can you imagine how frustrated that made me feel?” Nearly tears in her eyes again, she finished. “It made me feel that you don’t care about us!”

“Calypso, calm down! I’m sorry, OK?” Leo raised his voice. “Yeah, I was selfish. And yeah, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I didn’t think much at that point. I know it doesn’t excuse what I did but let me at least explain why I did what I did before you blow up the whole house.”

“Alright,” Calypso gave in. “Do explain.”

“Every day since my mom died…” Leo started, emphasizing the two first words, “I’ve been feeling guilty about her death. Some days I feel better, but it’s always worse during Christmases. Because that’s when she died.”

Calypso had a feeling that Leo wanted to say more, so she waited quietly, trying to look encouraging.

“This morning, before our present opening, I had a nightmare. Yeah, you probably already guessed what it was about. I saw how the fire started - I had left my blueprints too close to the fireplace and it just… spread - and how the policeman told me my mom had gone inside the house when… when I was lying unconsciously in our backyard. She had been looking for me because she didn’t know I had managed to escape.” He tried to clear his throat but his voice was still cracking when he finished: “My mom was my only family and she died because I was stupid and careless.”

While Calypso and Leo had had plenty of arguments in the past, she had rarely seen him as bitter as when he said those final words. It seemed as if he was in physical pain because he was so angry at himself. She wanted to say something encouraging, but she knew from experience that there was nothing that she could say in a situation like that that could make it better. Kind words didn’t bring the people you loved back. She did, however, try to show with gestures that she understood – she really did – and she moved closer to him, gently putting her hand on his shoulder.

Leo attempted to collect himself for a moment before he continued, blinking his eyes furiously: “It didn’t help me mentally that my aunt was forced to take me in after the fire. You can probably imagine her reaction. “You mutt, you really think you deserve to live after what happened to your mother?” Yeah. That happened. She told that to an 8-year-old boy. I’m almost thankful to her that she did eventually send me to a foster home. Only almost though.”

Calypso remembered his stories of the foster homes he had been in and understood what he meant.

“I hope that this explains why I don’t want to deal with fire now. Not because I’m afraid of the fire itself. But because I’m afraid of what it could do to people I love. So, yeah, that is why I was not thrilled to get those matches on this particular day.”

Calypso had to admit that after hearing the story from Leo himself, his reaction made more sense.

“I’m… sorry. About what happened to you and about the matches. I really picked an awful time to give them to you. But I still wish you had told me all that earlier instead of just waiting to blow up. And I never meant anything hurtful; I didn’t mean you need to use them any time soon… I just wanted to show you that I have faith in you. Because I do!

Leo was quiet for a while.

“Yeah… I know you were only trying to help,” he sighed finally. “I don’t know. I had such a good day yesterday and then one night turned it upside down. It’s not your fault. Some things… just had been building inside me for too long.”

“I know how you feel,” Calypso said quietly.

“You do?” Leo asked.

“Yeah. Um, I think it’s my turn to open up about some things. You told me your story so I should do the same.”

“Okay, go on,” he encouraged, seeming curious even though he was still visibly upset.

Calypso took a moment to decide where to start from. “As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been battling with some ghosts of my past for a long time now, and this fall has been quite a rollercoaster for me emotionally.”

Leo nodded at her.

“I thought that when I would move out… escape from my father’s mansion… I could just put all that behind me and start from the beginning. And in a way I was able to do that. I do enjoy living here. I like my studies – even though it has been very different compared to what I did at home… sometimes difficult... but I’ve never been one to sit around when I know I have work to do so I. That’s the way I’ve been raised.”

She looked up from her hands. “I’m also really grateful that I’ve met all the wonderful people who have become my friends here. Yeah, believe it or not, you included. But… All that makes my fear even stronger. I’m afraid that it all will be taken from me again.”

Leo frowned. “I don’t understand now. Why would that happen? Is it because of your father? You mentioned something about that once.”

Calypso was on the verge of tears again but she bit her lip and tried to put herself together. “I… I did something awful when I was 16… and my father wants to make sure that no one will ever hear about it.”

“What happened?” Leo asked.

“I… had some… um, relationship issues, for the lack of a better word. My boyfriend of that time had discovered that his previous girlfriend had moved back to New York, and, surprise, he wanted to end our relationship. He wasn’t the first to do that. That’s what always happened. They always had someone who was more important to them than me.” Calypso rubbed her forehead tiredly. “I was pretty down after that because the 16-year-old me thought that no one would care about me.”

Leo looked at her with a ‘that’s bullshit’ kind of expression, but for once he said nothing. She could still see that he had sympathy in his eyes.

“So, one day pretty soon after that guy went back to his ex, I was invited to a party. Most of the people there were a bit older than me so yeah, there was alcohol involved. I was shy and still really upset about what had recently happened to me so I thought that maybe a drink or two would make me feel better. But I drank way more than that because I just wanted to forget about everything for a while. Someone at the party knew my big sister Zoë and thought that it would be the best for me if she’d come to get me home before something bad happened to me. Well, ironically…” Calypso’s vision started blurring as she attempted to finish the sentence. “Zoë would probably still be here if she hadn’t come to pick me up.”

She swiped her face into her hand very ungracefully and sniffed a couple of times before she was able to continue.

“So… she arrived and when we got into the car, she naturally started scolding me. I don’t remember anymore what exactly she said but I know I deserved it. But at that moment I was being an idiot so of course we got into an argument. And she didn’t…” She couldn’t hold the tears in any longer, instinctively searching for support from Leo’s shoulder.

“It’s OK, Cal… You don’t have to tell me more if you don’t want to,” Leo tried to calm her down, awkwardly patting her back.

“Can you hand me some of that paper towel?” she sobbed when she managed to get some words out of her mouth, pointing at the roll on the table. “I must look like a mess.”

Leo attempted to give her an encouraging smile even though Calypso knew that must have been hard because he was probably feeling as bad as she was on the inside.

“R-right, here,” he said and pulled one piece of the paper towel from the roll, handing it to her.

“Thanks,” Calypso mumbled and swept her nose and cheeks into the paper.

“No problem.”

Calypso chuckled at the irony of the situation while she was attempting to dry the last tears. “Why is it that I was the one who was worried about you… and now I’m the one who ended up crying?”

“Guess we’re both pretty messed up,” Leo concluded for her. “But it’s OK. We can… you know… try to support each other?” It was more of a question than a statement, and Calypso assumed Leo was still unsure if she’d let him stay in her life.

“Yeah… maybe we can. But, um… I should finish my story.”

“Take your time.” Leo nodded at her.

“So…” she finally said. “We were fighting. And she got so distracted that she… I mean, neither of us… noticed that there was a car coming really fast from behind a curve and the road was pretty narrow and… before she had time to brake… the car hit us.”

Calypso’s heart was still beating rapidly when she remembered that situation, but taking a couple of deep breaths, she managed to avoid another crying fit. A couple of tears fell on her cheeks but her voice turned angry rather than sad.

“She… she died almost instantly. I don’t know how I got so lucky that I ended up with only a couple of broken bones and bruises. The driver of the other car was injured quite badly but from what I heard, also survived. I bet my father was relieved about that,” she finished bitterly.

“Cal…” Leo tried to say something but she interrupted him.

“If you say your mother’s death was your fault, so was Zoë’s death my fault. She would still be here if I hadn’t messed up at that party. She would still be here if we hadn’t been arguing on the road. So, I know exactly how you feel.”

“Yeah… there are some similarities there…” Leo admitted. “But I don’t think it was your fault. It was an accident.”

“Similarly to what happened to your mom,” Calypso noted.

Leo decided to not continue with that topic. “One question: how does your father have anything to do with this?”

Calypso sighed out of frustration. “I told you once that he basically…” She decided to change her approach. “Um, after that accident he didn’t let me go anywhere anymore, especially unsupervised because if someone had found out that I had something to do with my sister’s death… that would probably have ruined his career. Instead…” she said darkly, “he was able to take advantage of people’s sympathy. ‘Oww, poor Mister Astal… he must have been devastated after such a loss!’ But you know what?! I know… he couldn’t have cared less. The only thing that man cares about is his money and power.”

Calypso noticed that Leo was clenching his jaw. “I… I haven’t even met the guy but I really, really hate him. Trust me, I’d punch him in the face if I happened to meet him. Hard. But honestly, I think he deserves way more than that. He’d deserve…”

Leo proceeded to tell Calypso what exactly he thought her father would deserve, and weirdly enough, somehow that made her feel slightly better. Sure, nothing would ever give her back the years she had lost because of him. But at least she knew she had people on her side, and that was the most she could ask for in her situation.

“Even though I support your plan 100%... which by the way isn’t something I expected to say… I’d prefer it if you never, ever had to meet him.” Calypso shook her head. “I’ve already told you that he is capable of ruining lives if he wants to.”

“And I’ve already told you that I don’t care,” Leo said challengingly.

“Yeah, but I do!” Calypso exclaimed angrily. “How do you think I’d feel if he hurt you, because of me?”

That finally stopped Leo from arguing with her. Maybe he realized that he would feel just as awful if something happened to her.

“Okay. I won’t be hunting him down right now. But I’m still sticking to what I said after the Halloween party. If he ever does anything to you, know that I will help you. No matter what it costs.” Calypso looked at him with awe. No one had told her before that they’d be willing to risk so much for her sake.

“Why… why would you do that for me?” she whispered.

Fire was burning in Leo’s eyes. Maybe because he was angry… maybe for some other reason too. Before Calypso could prepare herself, he announced without hesitation:

“Because I love you, Cal! It’s as simple as that!”

There. The words Calypso had been both hoping and dreading to hear were out now, and there was no way to take them back. She couldn’t say she was completely surprised by his confession after everything that had happened since Halloween, but still… to hear him say it aloud… it still felt different than just knowing that it might be the case. Only a few hours earlier she herself had come to accept the fact that her own feelings were deeper than just some regular crush, and now this… She felt extremely overwhelmed.

“Don’t say that,” Calypso mumbled, not able to look him in the eyes at that moment. “I’ve heard people tell that to me before… and they’ve never meant it…”

“Yeah, but I do!” Leo kept insisting. “You should know me well enough by now to know that I don’t say things I don’t mean!”

Finally, Calypso lifted her eyes from her hands to Leo’s face. He was watching her with a dead serious expression, but at closer look she noticed that there was also a certain softness, gentleness in his eyes. The kind that made her knees feel weak.

“I know that,” she said quietly, and before she could stop herself, she stepped closer to Leo and took the towel he had been using to dry the dishes from his hands and threw it on the table. Her heart was racing and she felt a bit shaky, but she moved even closer, leaving only a couple of centimeters between them. Before she progressed from there, though, she very lightly brushed his cheek with her thumb, stopping at the corner of his lip, to let him know of her intentions. For a moment he just stared at her dumbfounded before nodding slightly while blushing furiously, and that was the only sign she needed. Moving both of her hands to the sides of his face, she rose on her tiptoes and kissed him fully on the mouth.

Calypso still remembered how the kisses she had previously experienced had often felt like the other one had been in a rush to get somewhere, possibly out of his real love interest’s sight. But this time was different. When their lips touched, Leo froze for one moment (Calypso hoped it was because he was thinking ‘whoa, can’t believe this is happening!’ and not because he was horrified), but he quickly recovered from that and responded, at first slowly, lightly, but when she kept encouraging him, he got more eager. Before he got ahead of himself, though, he stopped and looked at her straight into eyes as if to ask if it was OK. That was how Calypso knew that he wanted this just as much as she did.

“Keep going,” she whispered, and Leo did what he was told to do. He pressed his lips firmly against hers and sunk his fingers into her hair, sending sparks down Calypso’s spine. Warmth spread through her entire body when he tilted her head slightly to get better access to her lips and deepened the kiss. She was surprised by how soft his lips felt against her mouth (for some reason when she had been picturing this situation – which, yes, had happened more than once, she had to admit to herself – she had imagined them a bit rough, like his hands) and she felt a little light headed as Leo’s tongue gently poke her lips to ask her to part them. She happily reciprocated and discovered he tasted like the gingerbread cookies she and Georgina had baked, which probably meant he had liked them.

Even though Calypso would have liked it to continue longer, soon they needed to break away to get some air. Her face was red, she was panting and somehow her hair had also gotten messy in the process, but she didn’t care. Why would she when she felt loved possibly for the first time in her life? Leo was looking at her gently and she wanted to reach in and continue from where they were left off, but before that she felt she needed to say something.

“Don’t tell your mothers that happened,” she mumbled while resting her head against his shoulder, trying to sound serious but knowing she was failing.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Leo stopped stroking her hair when she lifted her head from his shoulder to see his expression. Leo’s eyes were so unlike they had only been about 15 minutes earlier when Jo and Emmie had ‘forced’ them to talk. Back then they had looked almost black and emotionless, but now they were back to the lighter chocolate brown Calypso was used to, sparkling happily at her comment. It made her very relieved to see him like that; she must have done something right after all.

“Good.” She nodded and looked at him expectantly. Leo picked up the hint, but instead of kissing her right away, he lifted her on a kitchen cabinet so she wouldn’t have to stand on her tiptoes (not that Leo was tall; Calypso was just that short). Calypso rolled her eyes at the gesture, but when Leo took her face into his hands, she forgot all about it and leaned in for another kiss. Unfortunately, this time they hadn’t taken into account that there was a cupboard right behind Calypso’s head so when they started leaning more backwards as the kiss got more heated, she hit her head against it. “Oh great, of course when I finally get to kiss the girl this would happen,” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked apologetic, but Calypso just chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it. Maybe it was a good reminder for us that there would probably be better places to do this than the kitchen of your parents’ home.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Leo had to agree. Before Calypso got off the cabinet, though, she pressed a light kiss on his forehead. She didn’t know why she did that; it just felt good at that moment.

When she pulled away from him, Leo asked, sounding a bit unsure: “So… does that mean that you love me too?”

Calypso shook her head, kind of amused that this boy who could figure out a really difficult math question within minutes was so unsure about her feelings. “What do you think, idiot?”

“I don’t know… I still wasn’t entirely convinced by those kisses,” he attempted to joke but quickly received a fist on his arm. “Ow! That hurt!”

“Not a good moment to joke,” Calypso stated.

“Fine, sorry,” Leo said while rubbing his arm.

“You are lucky that I happen to love you.” Calypso stuck her tongue out at him, but before he had time to say anything, she took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Yeah. I am,” Leo said, completely seriously this time. “But how did we get to this point from my… um, issues anyway?”

Now that Leo mentioned it, Calypso realized it was a valid question. It felt like everything she had felt that fall had been squeezed into a very small package and then suddenly just popped open. But she also felt relieved that they had finally managed to speak up about what was bothering them.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” she replied. “But I’m kind of glad that Jo and Emmie closed us here.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Leo agreed.

“Listen…” Calypso kept her eyes on their intertwined hands. “I don’t know what is going to happen. You know, with my father and everything. But you made me realize that I can’t just give up without a fight. That I can’t get what I want if I don’t try. So I’ve decided… I want to try this… us… if that’s what you want as well.”

“Are you crazy? I’d be the stupidest guy on earth to say no to you,” Leo said dramatically. “Even though this will sound cheesy as hell, I’ve noticed that I’m happier when I spend time with you. You know, just cooking, chilling, whatever. So, I’m thinking… Maybe together we will also be able to kick our issues’ asses. I will be working on getting over my fear. And… I guess I will also have to try harder to open up… about my past and all that… It probably isn’t always gonna be easy but hey, feel free to call me out if you need to.”

“You bet I will, Leo Valdez.” Calypso smiled at him, a real, genuine smile. “And I too will do my best to talk about what’s bothering me more. I realize now that I should have done it way earlier.”

“We are some stubborn idiots, huh?” Leo gave her a lopsided smile.

“Yeah.”

“Um, so… just to be clear… What do we tell the others? About… us?” Leo asked after a while.

“I’m thinking… maybe it would be better if we don’t tell everyone quite yet. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences in the past as you know so I’d prefer to keep it just between us for a while. You know, just to make sure that… nothing goes wrong.”

“Alright, that’s fair enough,” Leo agreed. “Although, nothing stays a secret from my family for a long time. It’s like they’re psychics or something.”

Calypso chuckled. “Can’t disagree with you on that. I swear that I’ve known them for a few days and they already know more about me than I do.”

“You’ll get used to it, though,” Leo reassured her.

“Hopefully so. Well… what should we do now?” Calypso asked tentatively.

“They’re probably expecting us to be done with the dishes by now…” Leo glanced at the clock on the wall. “But… I guess one more kiss won’t hurt?”

“I would hope so,” Calypso said and reached for him, pressing another kiss to his mouth.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

13 notes · View notes