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thehighpriestess1 · 2 years

Text

August

Summary : In the hindsight you should have known it was too good to be true, he was too good for you. You clung onto your pride while he clung onto the memories. I wish I could promise you that this is a love story where a boy meets a girl and they live happily ever after but we must not promise what we can't deliver..

Pairing : Gojo Satoru x Y/n

Genre : Angst

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-Y/N-

Jealousy is defined as coveting something that does not belong to you, wanting something that someone else has and you don't but what would one use to describe the feeling of wanting something that has always belonged to you until someone took it away from you? You pondered over this as you took a bite of your sandwich watching people feed the ducks in the park. Your phone buzzed by your side but you ignored it. Probably one of the associates wants you to do one of the menial work. Few months ago you would have discarded your lunch and rushed to do the work at the drop of a hat. But things are different now. Nothing fazed you anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. You just needed to work for another six more months so you could pay off this stupid loan that your greedy step-mother took in your name. You chuckled thinking how everything was always taken away from you..

Your only solace in this cruel world was taken away from you. No, not taken away, he left on his own account or was he stolen? You wiped your mouth with the tissue and picked up your bag to head back to fluorescent light and fake smiles. You passed the news paper stand and saw his photo on the front page with his fiance. The only thing she had that you didn't have was money. If only you were born into a well connected family it would have been you holding his hand flashing the diamond on your finger. When two months ago you would have bought the paper to scribble her face with your pen, now you walk past it. It still hurts just as much but you befriended the pain for it was here to stay.

You stood at the back of the elevator with your eyes fixed on the ground. You didn’t notice when she walked in the elevator as well. “Y/n?”. She said in her sweet voice. You looked up to see her standing with her luscious hair on one side, smiling ear to ear like you were her best friend. But both of you knew what the other was. “Hi”. Many acknowledged her as Mrs.Gojo but you could never find it in your heart to do so. They weren’t married anyway, right? And by the time they get married you’d be long gone. “You headed up?”. She asked. But you knew what she meant. Are you going to see Satoru?.

“Yes”. You replied curtly. You wondered if she ever asked Gojo to fire you. You knew you would have done that. She stood by your side and you could smell the same perfume. The perfume that you had gifted him a year ago….

1 year ago…

“Satoru stop! It tickles!”. Gojo rubbed his nose in the crook of your neck as he trapped you between him and his king sized bed. “That’s the whole point baby”. He said, pulling his head up to look at you. “You are beautiful”. He said as he pecked your nose. “Says the most eligible bachelor”. You said, wrapping your arms around his neck. Gojo smiled and returned to his shenanigans. “Stop! Stop! I have to ask you something”. He moved to your side and pulled you into his chest, your naked bodies tangled under the soft white duvet.

“What time should I come to the party?”. You asked as you rubbed the apple of his cheeks. Gojo gulped thickly and looked away. You retreated your arm as your bones went cold watching his hesitation. “I can come right? Satoru it’s your birthday”. You said trying your best to hide the shiver in your voice. Gojo turned towards you and smiled politely. “Of Course you can drop by”. You smiled innocently as you leaned in to kiss him.

You showed up to his mansion dressed in a rental gown that you would be paying off in installments for months to come. You held the gift bag tightly in your hand as you stepped inside the room full of people. You barely knew anyone except a few coworkers. Gojo spotted you standing with people from the office and you did too. You raised your hand and waved at him but he simply stared at you. Your hand dropped by your side and you turned away from him.

You were standing in a corner sipping on champagne as everyone cheered for him. That’s when you first saw her, standing by his side in the most beautiful of dresse with perfectly paired jewelery.She was beautiful and seemed kind. You saw the way he was leaning towards her, how her hand hit his arm as he joked about something. Maybe it was liquid courage or maybe it was jealousy that pushed you to take the first step, then the second and then third until you were standing behind him. “Mr.Gojo”.

Gojo turned around with her following suit. That was the first time you saw how good they looked together. “Happy Birthday”. You spoke politely as you stretched your arm forward. Gojo barely shook your arm, “Thank You. Utahime, this is Y/n. She is… one of the secretaries”. If the room was silent everyone would have heard your heart shatter. “Nice to meet you y/n”. You shifted your gaze from his cerulean ones to hers’. “Nice to meet you too”. Gojo raised his eyebrows at the bag and you understood.

You watched them stick together for the rest of the evening as you waited for Gojo to talk to you. You pulled your phone out of your purse and saw a message from Gojo from 30 minutes ago.

Gojo : Leave the bag on the fireplace. You looked at him again, smiling,laughing,happy..

You did as you were told, like you always did, You didn’t belong here. This was his world.

The elevator door opened on the top floor and you got out after her. “See you around Y/n”. She said as she turned on her heels and walked towards his cabin. You watched her retreating and clenched your fist by your side. You had no right to hate her for his mistake and yet you did. Since you cannot change what happened no matter how badly you wanted to, you did the only thing you could, keep your head down and work.

-UTAHIME-

She wasn’t expecting to see you in the elevator but when she did she couldn’t ignore you. How could she ignore the woman whose name she had heard one too many times as she laid next to Gojo at night. She saw your hesitation and your withdrawl and was relieved that you weren’t puttin up a fight for it would have been a fight she would have lost.

She got the whiff of your cheap perfume, the same one which was on Gojo’s night shelf. The same one which was on his handkerchief. The same one which made her want to throw up. She noticd how you didn’t call her Mrs.Gojo like evryone else did. Was it your pride or wishful thinking? But at least she was closer to the title than you’ll ever be.

“See you around Y/n”. She said as her heart wished to never see your face again. As she walked towrads her fiance she wondered whether she was jealous of you or not. To think someone like her would be jealous of someone like you was laughable to most people but only few knew of the ache in her heart everytime she saw you…

She knew what was happening. Gojo’s birthday was just one of the ways your families tried to bring the two of them toghether. She was mesmirised by his charms, his smile,the sound of his laughter..his eyes. Every time she turned to look at him she saw the eyes she was oh so much in love with focused on someone else at the other corner of the room. That was the first time she saw you, standing in a corner in a dress that was probably rental..she thought you were prettier than average but not the most beautiful women in the room. She wondered what you meant to him but when he introduced you as one of the secratries her heart fluttered. She still had a chance. You were barely a friend to him.

She saw you place the paperbag on the fireplace and walkout. She took careful steps and picked up the bag. “Is that for me?”. She was startled by Gojo’s voice.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to. I just saw… that girl place it here”.

“it’s okay. I’ll take it”. Gojo said stretching his arm forward. She handed him the bag and saw the glint in his eyes. She wondered why the Gojo Satoru who had everything money could offer was so happy recieving this, If only she knew then what she knew now.

“Hi”. She chirped as she opened the door to his cabin. “Utahime. What are you doing here?”. He asked getting up from his chair.

“I was in the area and thought I should come and see you”. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he politely kissed her cheeks as he brought her arms forward. “I hope I didn’t disturb you”.

“Not at all. I just have a meeting to attend and then I am free for the evening. I will see you at home. You don’t have to wait”. He said, looking down at the papers in front of him. Utahime got the message but she was adamant on leaving this office with him. “I’ll wait. I have nothing to do anyway”.

“Mr.Gojo?”. Miwa entered and gave her a polite smile. “Yes Miwa. I am coming”. Gojo picked up his file and gave another peck to Utahime as he left.

Utahime waited for close to 20 minuites untill she started getting bored. She decided to walk around the office since most of the people already knew her. She walked through the hallways as people greeted her. Her cheeks had begun to hurt trying to maintain the fake smile as she chatted with people.

In hindsight she should have stayed in Gojo’s cabin because as she reached the all glass confrence room where Gojo was she saw how he ocassionally looked at you as you typed on your laptop. She wanted to barge in there and pull you out of the room but she knew she couldn’t. She wanted to scream and throw a fit but she knew she couldn’t. She stood in the corner and looked at Gojo. He looked like he was made for this. She smiled as she fiddled with her ring. Sad smile ghosted his lips as she looked at her ring. Gojo never really proposed her. The engaggement was mutually agreed between the two families. There was no gettin on one knee or a grand gesture. She remembered thinking if she had what it takes to love someone who was in love with someone else. She decided she did and to this day she stuck by that decission.

She saw how you refused to meet Gojo’s eyes as you handed him a file and how his eyes were fixed on your face. Her resolve was faltering and she decided that it was better to wait inside than watch this.

Gojo walked in his cabin raking his hands through his hair. “You decided to wait?”. Utahime turned around and smiled at him. “I told you I’ll wait. You done with work?”.

“Yeah. I can finishe the rest at home. Let’s go”. He said gathering some files. She got up and wrapped her arms around his waist as she rested her cheeks on his back. Gojo placed his hand on hers and smiled. “You okay?”. She nodded her head.

“Just missed you”.

“I saw you an hour ago”. He said as he turned towards her with her arms still around his waist. “I missed you for an hour”. Gojo pressed his lips on her forehead.

“Mr.Gojo you forgot this”. Miwa said as she walked in holding his phone with you behind her.

Utahime noticed how Gojo immediately took a step back like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Utahime notied his apologetic eyes focused on you. Utahime noticed your polite smile faltering for a second before it back on again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company”.

“It’s okay Miwa”. Gojo said as he sat back in his chair.

You approached and placed a stack of files on his desk. “Mr.Kamo wanted me to get your signature on this”. You said. “Sure. Just give me a second”. Gojo grabbed his pen and started signing hastily.

“You’ve lost weight y/n”. Utahime said. “Is everything okay?”. She added crossing her arms in front of her.

“Yes. Everything is fine”.

Utahime looked down and noticed that Gojo was not wearing his ring and the familiar ache found its place in the cracks of their relationship. Gojo handed you the file and you bowed politely as you left them. “You’re not waring your ring”. She said running her hand through his hair. “I forgot to put it on”. Utahime smiled but she knew it was in his pocket. Hidden just like his feelings.

She sat next to Gojo in his black Aston Martin fiddling with her ring as he typed on his phone. “What do you want to do for dinner?”. She asked but his eyes remained glued to his screen. “Anything is fine”. She nodded and was about to turn away when she saw you walking on the other side and somehow Gojo wasn’t looking at his phone anymore. His eyes too were focused on the women walking on the sidewalk.Utahime looked the other way outside her window, biting her lip to control the quivering. The car stopped at the redlight and Gojo’s eyes followed you as you crossed the road in front of his car. The rain started pouring and he almost chuckled as he saw you curse out and run with your hand over your head.

-GOJO-

Gojo stood near the ceiling high window looking down but he wasn’t just people watching. His eyes were fixed on a woman in a grey dress walking towards the building after her lunch break. He smiled at how she stopped occasionally to smile at people greeting her but he knew her real smile was long gone and he was the one to blame. He started something he could neither end nor continue and in his selfishness cost him her smile, her love, her comfort. The smile that had brightened up his day everyday for the past two years. He was so focused on this woman that he didn’t notice his fiance’s car stop near the gates.

His first thought should have been a happy one as his fiance stepped inside his cabin but his first thought was about whether she had run into you or not. He gave her a courteous hug and smelled the perfume. “You are wearing my perfume”. She nodded at him with hopeful eyes and he could only smile in return.

Gojo looked around the room searching for you but he didn’t find you anywhere. It was Miwas who told him that you had left a while ago. He cursed at himself. He never meant for you to leave. He only wanted you to place the gift by the fireplace so that it would not get mixed with a plethora of other not so important ones.

He rushed towards the gate hoping to get to you in time but he was met with Utahime holding the bag. “Is she your friend?”. Utahime asked as she walked next to him in the garden. Gojo’s grip on the bag tightened. “Yeah”.

“You didn’t introduce her as one”.

“Because of my father. He doesn’t like our friendship”. If he would have bothered to look at Utahim he would have seen the way her shoulders dropped.

“I see. She must be really special”.

“She is..very special to me”.

Gojo should have been paying attention to the meeting but his eyes ended up on you every few seconds. He saw the other associate sitting a little too close to you, leaning in towards you occasionally to whisper things in your ear making you smile. He glared at the male making him straighten up. He was engaged now and he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about you but he can’t help it. He can’t help the dreams, the ache, the pain. He can’t help going through your photos when is in his study, he can’t help but imagine you sleeping next to him when he is asleep, he can’t help but imagine it was you sneaking into shower instead of her, he can’t help it..it was too late now..

Gojo saw your mask slip as you caught him with Utahime. He knew he owed no explanation to you of all the people but he wanted to tell you that he didn't initiate it. He only returned it because he felt... guilty.He wanted to tell you how much he wished it was you.

He looked up at you standing in front of him as he signed the palers and you had indeed lost weight, you looked tired and ill and yet his heart skipped a beat.

Gojo walked into the penthouse before Utahime and immediately went to his room. By this time Utahime had learnt to gauge his mood by now. He was not happy. Not angry but not happy. She immediately rushed to ask the chefs to make his favorite meal. She picked up his discarded coat and stepped into their shared bedroom with careful steps.

Their families had insisted for both of them to start living together before marriage to get used to the domestic life but this was not the life Utahime was expecting. A cold home with a distant fiance. Even though they were engaged Gojo slept at the very edge of the bed and barely even looked at her. Every time she tried to initiate an intimate moment he always came up with an excuse. She initially thought he was just waiting until they were officially married but soon she realised that he was never going to look at her the way he looked at you. This was the life she had to get used to,loving someone who was not her's to love.

Gojo stepped out of the shower and saw her sitting on the edge of the bed. He walked to his wardrobe and saw the perfume bottle kept at the very edge of the shelf. He pushed it back safely for the fear of dropping it sank in. “Utahime, Don’t use this ever again”.

“Why not?”. She knew why.

“Just dont. I can get you a new one if you want but don’t ever touch this one”.

“Satoru it’s just a-”.

“Utahime! You can take whatever you want except this Okay?”. He said, his voice slightly raised and cold. Utahime could only nod as he put on a shirt and went to his study where he would be eating his dinner and probably sleeping tonight.

Taglist request are open :)

@chemtrails-club

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omegastation · 2 years

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I did Miranda’s loyalty mission for the first time in MELE today (not my first time in general, of course).

It was like taking a high res first class seat to her pain, suffering and doubts.

The writing for this mission is really devastating: -She keeps telling people that she had to “rescue” Oriana and no one, except the squad, believes her. It’s quite striking. Like “NO, I did not kidnap her, I rescued her” over and over again. -Miranda keeps referring to Niket as her “only” friend/person she trusts/one who knew about how evil her father was, which is really sad when you think about what he did later.

Obviously, Miranda has issues telling people things right away. She didn’t tell Shepard Oriana was young and her twin, she didn’t tell Niket back then that she was going to take Oriana away. But she does have healthy notions in mind - when Niket told her he found out and felt betrayed, the first thing she says is “Why didn’t you call me, Niket? We’ve been through a lot. You could’ve at least let me explain.” - which is like, the most reasonable thing to say and do when two people have issues and need to communicate. Only, Niket felt he was owed more: “I deserved to know that you’d stolen your sister, Miri”. Stolen your sister: using the words she heard from everyone else. He witnessed the abuse but is using words to invalidate it.

And the good contrast here is Shepard and their way of reacting and communicating with Miranda. They’re very respectful of Miranda, it’s basically : “it’s your sister, your mission, I’m following you and trusting you”. The only time my Shepard intervened was to stop Miranda from killing Niket, and it was a suggestion, not born from a lack of trust and respect. It’s more of a “you’ll regret it” thing - and she very much agrees when they discuss it later (I love that they discuss it btw!).

The end of the mission is my favorite part.

Miranda is quite selfless when it comes to Oriana. Two sentences come to mind, from the mission: “He wants to take a girl away from the only family she’s ever known. Doesn’t that tell you what he really is?” and “It’s not about what I want. It’s about what’s right for her.”

So nobody really believed what her father did was bad enough for her to rescue her sister. Her only friend didn’t and betrayed her. We see Miranda looking at Oriana and closing her eyes like this is it. She knows why she did the things she did, and she knows Oriana is safe. Nothing else matters, right? But suddenly, Shepard goes “but you matter.”

With one simple question, they’re going to put Niket’s words and actions into perspective: “Would it really be so bad for her to know she has a sister who loves her?”

They’re using the right word: love. If Miranda didn’t love Oriana, she wouldn’t have tried so hard to protect her. From abuse, from hurtful people. Shepard is acknowledging the abuse, unlike everyone else, AND reminding Miranda that she is not worthless/invisible in this story. She too deserves a sister who loves her. She rescued someone but also had to rescue herself.

This was exactly what Miranda needed to hear, at the right time, from someone who will not abuse her trust.

#miranda lawson #mass effect #shepard & miranda #tw abuse

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csmeanerr · 6 months

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For the love of god don’t post if anon fails but with regards to the creative red stuff I see where they’re coming from with pronouns. As a trans person myself I get verbal abuse daily from my immediate family who use it/its pronouns to degrade me because they think being transgender is “bullshit made up by people online” and just a phase I’m going through. I’ve had psychiatric appointments, medical counseling and therapy, and even had a psychiatric report diagnosing me with gender dysphoria among other mental illnesses to prove this is actually affecting my daily life.

When my psychiatrist talked to my parents about family counseling to help them understand my trans identity, my parents took me away from the psychiatrist for “enabling my delusions”. They throw out my opposite gendered clothing, they constantly raid my room looking for anything I’m hiding, and they make it a point to antagonize me by using the wrong pronouns because “if you’re not going to accept you’re born a girl and are a girl then you don’t deserve to be called anything.” Being referred to as it/its is incredibly dehumanizing and degrading and I don’t care if someone wants to be referred to that way, I don’t have it in me to strip a person of their status as a living being and demean them by addressing them like an inanimate object. It’s so uncomfortable and stressful and it feels awful.

I struggle heavily with nounself/emoji/neopronouns too because of my mental illnesses and learning disabilities since they break sentence structure and don’t flow properly or they have varying pronunciations/uses and it’s difficult to remember how things work. I wouldn’t interact with people either if I can’t address them in a way I can understand because if I mess up it’s going to be the end of my social life since me messing up is going to get me labeled as a bigot or a LGBTphobic jerk when I’m not. There is truth to them being rehashed “attack helicopter” memes too which ARE harmful to the trans community.

You might think your pronouns are easy to understand and not hurting anyone but that’s not true. They are. They’re not guaranteed to be easily understandable to every other person. You’re actually just complicating things more and giving other neurodivergent people an even harder time than they might already be having, which makes the situation and stress worse.

I’m sorry to add to this topic mod but this is a matter that personally affects me every day and it hurts a lot. I have a mental wellness clinic appointment in the new year to find a therapist and my family has already said they’ll call the cops and report my car as stolen if they believe I’m going to the appointment to discuss my trans identity issues or seeking aid with transitioning. The reason they think it’s all fake bullshit is because people claim being trans is a choice and they’ve seen the emoji/nounself/neopronouns and they don’t believe in it. My psychiatric report that I brought home was even shredded and thrown out because it used my preferred name and pronouns and thus was “filled with bullshit”. I know that I’m not the only one negatively affected by these things either.

post related

nope fuck off your issues does not allow you to invalidate other people and misgender them in turn. it/it may be dehumanizing to you but to someone else might be exactly what they want to be called, same as you want your own pronouns acknowledged.

the fact you go on an entire spiel of how much your family thinks you're full of bullshit and then turn around and say other's pronouns are "attack helicopter" memes is a bigoted take. in short it basically reads: my gender identity is valid but yours aren't

and you sure did type out that the only reason you hide these insanely awful takes is solely to keep your social standing and not that you actually give a fuck about changing your perspective because clearly you don't think other neurodivergents might experience themselves differently or deserve to be respected for those choices

every reason you brought up has been an issue for YOU that YOU are then making OTHERS put above their own validation for YOURSELF.

just fuck off. use people's fucking pronouns it's not that fucking hard to not be a complete shithead. the LGTBQA+ umbrella is larger than you think and you don't get to draw a line of what is or isn't under that umbrella. it's for all of us. stop being selfish.

#creativered #succubuns

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curekibouka-writing · 2 years

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Choices (Twst one-shot fanfic)

Summary: I will fight for you when you cannot. And in doing so, I fight for us both.

Word count: 1472

*This fic is also on FF.net, Quotev and Ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s not that Lilia never had an inkling that this day would come, he just chose not to acknowledge it.

Such a wonderful, magical occasion, a reunion between a long lost prince and his royal family. And, in the spirit of goodwill, Lilia could’ve helped sounded the trumpets, adorned the throne room with bursts of colours, and woken up the stars just to shine upon them —

If only the boy were not his son.

“After all these years, you’ve come back to us!” The queen of the neighbouring country casts away all her manners for one moment and throws herself at Silver. It just now occurs to Lilia that she has beautiful eyes, the same ones as Silver.

“You were stolen from us all those years ago, we thought we would never see you again!” A wide grin can be seen through the king’s beard, every bit of his rich voice filled with relief.

“Stolen?” Silver repeats, backing out of the embrace, “What are you saying? ……your majesties,” he adds. He came as a guard escorting Prince Malleus of Briar Valley to this country for some diplomatic affairs, nothing more.

“My father had done nothing of the sort,” he asserts, standing in front of Lilia. And as every eye in the chamber presses down on the fae, Silver turns to him ever so confidently, “Right, father?”

Of course he would never and had never stolen a child. But does denying it make any difference?

Be it out of kindness or malice, for whatever reason and with whatever justification, if you were to take his Silver away from him, he’d say you were stealing too.

But he has the decency to hold his tongue.

The room begins to be flooded with whispered chatter, not that it mattered to him. Not Malleus stepping up, placing a hand on his shoulder and speaking for him. Not Sebek imploring him to deny those outrageous claims. Not any of those humans gazing at Silver as if pitying a defenceless animal leashed by a callous owner.

It doesn’t compel Lilia to speak in his own defence. For if he spreads his arms right now, surely Silver would choose him, come to him, always his child, never asked for much. And as much as he hates to flaunt his victories, pride would well up in his heart. Not to prove them all wrong, but to prove himself right, prove Silver right, prove their little world in a forest cottage right.

“Silver,” so he calls out, spreading his arms and beckoning for his son to return to him. His voice is serene and loving, not different from 5 years ago, or 10 years ago, or the first time he pushed the name through his throat and claimed this little one to be his little one.

Now suddenly spears are being pointed at him as if he had stormed in here with weapons in hand.

“Father!” Silver’s countenance immediately flares with alert, a hand on his baton, ready to protect Lilia.

The sceptre of the human king strikes twice against the marble floor, demanding silence. He strides to Lilia, peering down at him, and while his tone bears no hostility, his soldiers’ spears speak volumes, “In the past, your kind and mine had crossed swords to claim ownership of lands, treasures, resources. Today, we’ve learned from our history of foolishness. I stand here asking for what is ours — what I cherish and missed dearly — to be returned. Surely you understand the price to pay, should you insist on keeping what is not yours?”

Learned? Lilia intends to have learned quite a great deal, more than anyone here could possibly have. But perhaps he hasn’t really. For in a split second of greed, one that he hasn’t experienced in who knows how long, he cannot think of what he wouldn’t give to hold his son in his arms just one more time. Then maybe just one more day. And maybe just one more lifetime…

But then he is posed a question — what could he give? What price could he pay?

“Kufufu,” he chuckles, his crimson eyes could’ve boiled, could’ve seemed hollow, could’ve been a predator’s — a monster’s eyes. But they weren’t.

He thinks about all the things Silver never had due to not being a fae, and all the things Silver could’ve had if he had human parents, and all the past foolishness and peace and loss and things that revolt him now… thoughts that had plagued him numerous times before, thoughts that he always selfishly chose to brush off because he was so sure he could make up for it.

And now he chooses to raise his head slowly, meeting the king’s downward stare, eyes bright as ever, smiling,

“My, my, would you not spare even a minute for an old man to bid his son farewell?”

Without waiting for anyone’s permission, Silver runs to him, grabbing his shoulders instead of complying with a hug, “Father, I have no intention of going anywhere! This is ridiculous, I—“

“I want to become a knight!” the same child had declared long ago — not all that long ago for Lilia, but long enough, “I’ll fight for father and Malleus-sama!” The child chose him, chose a dull, harsh, hefty life before even trying to learn of the hundreds of thousands of choices that he could’ve chosen.

And Lilia had always wanted to show Silver more, more of what he could be, because Lilia always believed this bright child could be anything anywhere anytime if he so chooses.

He takes Silver into a hug nevertheless, as tightly as his small frame could against his son’s sturdy build.

Unfortunately, now they only have one choice. Someone else’s choice. Here. Now. And Lilia chooses not to fight it.

“You’ve found a happily ever after. Take it.”

It’s a hushed breath against Silver’s ear, tender as the birdsongs they would sometimes hear back home, and yet Silver could not speak a single word against him. His hands drop to the small of Lilia’s back, locking him with such strength that surely anyone else with Lilia’s size would be crushed.

Not yet, not now, not enough, Silver thought. And until he has had enough, there is only breath against breath. Tensed against forlorn. Wavering against decided. Greed against greed.

And then he realises he would never have enough.

“Can’t you stay?” the child croaks, an ugly sound that tries to hide too much and fails.

They both stop at the question, because, admit it or not, they both know Lilia’s answer.

So Lilia dodges it, inhaling slowly. Instead of a word, a nostalgic tune flows from his thin, pale lips. Deep. Quiet. A river bringing them home.

“Come stop your crying, it will be alright”

Home in their cottage before all this transpired, when there was a human baby in a cradle, squeezing a fae’s finger so tightly even in his slumber, and the fae, with the same voice, same tone, hummed,

Just take my hand, hold it tight

I will protect you from all around you

I will be here, don’t you cry

They look on and listen, spectators to their own story as the water continues to flow and slosh and flood and splatter. There was the human child, soaked and sick but smiling as the fae caressed the child’s round ears,

Don’t listen to them, ‘cause what do they know?

We need each other, to have, to hold

They’ll see in time

I know

The river slows. The child’s grown.

“When destiny calls you, you must be strong”

Lilia resumes singing, smiling lips, flickering voice, his gaze remains on the image.

“I may not be with you, but you’ve got to hold on”

He gazes with the eyes he always has when watching sunsets, beholding beauty that doesn’t last, and only sometimes he would reach out, trying to hold it, keep it…

Silver takes Lilia’s unmoving hand, “They’ll see in time,” and squeezes it tightly, “…don’t go.”

Lilia smiles. Slipping out of his son’s grip.

The river stops.

He reaches up and brushes lightly on Silver’s eyelids, closing them, and starts the song anew,

“Come stop your crying, it will be alright

Now look ahead toward the light

It will embrace you from all around you

And I’ll be here, out of sight…”

When Silver opens his eyes again, he is not home, kneeling on the marble floor of a palace, and there is no father here.

“But you’ll be in my heart”

The melody slips out from Silver’s lips, in unison with the now fading voice.

“No matter what they sa—“

His voice breaks.

He stands up, and treads toward the throne.

“…always.”

He remembers his father would always compliment him for being a child who never asked for too much.

He grabs a spear.

Alas, he chose to be raised by a greedy, selfish fae.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For an alternative ending to this fic, you can read my poem “Human Tongue” UwU

A/N: The lyrics I quoted is from a song called “You’ll be in my Heart” from Disney’s Tarzan. If you’re going to listen to this song, I strongly recommend the Celtic Woman version instead of the Phil Collins version or the Seki Tomokazu version. They all have good singing but Celtic Woman’s version fits the loving parent vibe most in my opinion.

I really love this song and it’s so fitting for Lilia and Silver that I’ve been wanting to write it in a fanfic for over a year. I’ve finally managed to do it 😭

Now go listen to the song and cry over the lyrics with me!!!

#twisted wonderland #Lilia Vanrouge #silver #twst silver #twst fanfic #twst writing #twisted wonderland fanfiction #twst angst #diasomnia #twst scenarios #diasomnia angst

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colorado-addiction-treatment · 1 year

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DRY JANUARY: 10 BENEFITS OF A SOBER LIFESTYLE

Sobriety takes work. It’s not the easy choice. It may not even be the fun choice. But it’s the choice worth making to transform your life for the better. Whether you’re experiencing alcohol addiction, porn addiction, sexual addiction, or any other addiction that has taken control of your life, you can always start the journey to recovery.

Any addiction can control your health, relationships, and happiness. This January, take the first step to take back your life from the addiction that is controlling it now. You’ll soon recognize the benefits of a sober lifestyle.

Signs It’s Time to Get Sober

Have you ever asked yourself, “Should I get sober?” If so, it might be time to do some self-evaluation.

Signs you should consider adopting a sober lifestyle include:

Your world is becoming smaller because of your addiction

Your addiction causes you health complications

Your “luck” has turned bad and are facing legal problem or relational problems

Your behaviors while using have hurt or scared yourself or loved ones

Life seems unmanageable

You have made and broken promises to yourself or others to stop

You have lied, misled, or manipulated others away from the truth of what you are using, how you are using it, and how often you are using.

How to Get Sober

Acknowledging your need for sobriety is a brave and important step. Denial is common in addiction, as it can be frightening to admit to yourself or your loved ones that you’ve lost control. Remember that you can always start, no matter what.

No one gets sober in a vacuum. Connection and community are essential parts to the recovery process. Confide in a trusted loved one about your challenges, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Speak with a mental health professional who can help you understand addiction and how to recover. Find a treatment program that can address the root of your addiction and provide all-encompassing care.

Benefits of a Sober Lifestyle

Making the change to a sober life is challenging. When you’re overwhelmed by addiction, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You can feel trapped, frustrated, or like you’ve lost the motivation to move forward. In these dark times, it’s important to remember why you started your sobriety journey. So, what are the benefits of a sober lifestyle?

10 Benefits of a sober lifestyle:

Better Health. Addiction takes a toll on your body. It often takes priority over taking care of yourself, which can lead to malnourishment, chronic pain, or damage to your immune system. Additionally, substance or alcohol use can cause irreparable damage to your body. The sooner you can stop, the better for your physical and mental health.

Save Money. As addiction worsens, your finances usually take a hit. As your tolerance increases, you often need more to satisfy your urges. This excess usually comes with a price. Addiction causes a great economic burden. Living sober means more financial freedom.

Stronger Relationships. Addiction can quickly become the third wheel in relationships that no one invited. It can breed secrecy and distrust and harm your friends, family, and partner. With sobriety, you get a fresh start to repair those relationships and make amends.

Increased Energy. Addiction can suck the life out of you. When you start your sober journey, you’ll be surprised to know how much energy you get back.

Improved Memory. Brain fog is real. Addiction can sedate you and your cognitive functions, not to mention how much time you spend thinking about your next encounter with your substance of choice. Reclaim your brain and get your memory back.

Restored Free Time. When you have free time, addiction tells you it belongs to it. Take back your time! Find a new hobby or activity you enjoy. Don’t let your time be stolen by something that isn’t worthwhile.

Better Sleep. Addiction can cause physical ailments that disrupt your sleep. It can also cause anxiety or stress that keeps you up at night. Sobriety helps you sleep much more soundly.

Improved Mental Health. Getting sober means uncovering and confronting the root cause of your addiction. Once you heal from that cause and stop your addictive behaviors, your mental health will flourish.

Greater Self-Awareness. When you’ve experienced addiction and come out on the other side, you have a new perspective on life. Recovery teaches you about yourself. Take this time to get to know who you are beyond your addiction.

Authentic Living. Many people experiencing addiction feel as though they are living a double life. You may feel shame or guilt surrounding your addiction and hide it from your loved ones. When you confront your addiction head-on and commit to living a sober life, you can live life freely as your authentic self without having to hide.

Tips to Stay Sober

For many people, staying sober isn’t easy. It’s difficult to reach your goal when you feel like the world is falling apart around you. Relapse is a normal part of recovery, but you can help prevent it by following these tips:

Identify Your Triggers. Recognize the people, places, or situations that tempt you to relapse and avoid them.

Be Aware of Relapse Signs. Identify the thinking patterns or behaviors that can cause you to relapse. Have a plan of action if you find yourself starting down a familiar path.

Monitor Any Withdrawal Symptoms. Withdrawals are a normal but difficult part of sobriety. Symptoms can include mood changes, irritability, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, headaches, and nausea. Talk to a mental health professional if your withdrawal symptoms become difficult to manage.

Break Unhealthy Habits. Sobriety calls for lifestyle changes. It’s important to remove any habits that may cause you to relapse and replace them with healthy, productive habits.

Create and Maintain Healthy Relationships. Surround yourself with people who will empower you on your sobriety journey. It may involve cutting out toxic people who could get you into trouble. Invest in people who make you happy and add positivity to your life.

Find Support. You don’t have to do sobriety alone. Find a support group or community that encourages you and has your back at your highest and lowest.

Prioritize Self-Care. It’s your time to focus on yourself and your well-being. Self-care can mean balanced eating, exercise, and getting good sleep. It can also involve focusing on mindfulness strategies, like meditation, yoga, or simply doing an activity you enjoy.

Accept Past Mistakes. When experiencing addiction, you may do things you regret. You probably feel guilt or shame about your mistakes. Dwelling on these feelings can hold you back from recovery. Accept your mistakes, learn from them, and make amends.

Celebrate Small Achievements. Acknowledge your milestones and celebrate your success, no matter how small. To stay motivated, it’s important to acknowledge every win and remind yourself why you started the journey to recovery.

Staying on Track

Recovery isn’t easy, but your sobriety is possible. You may struggle with getting started, but there is always a new day to try again. Utilizing these strategies will aid you on your recovery journey and help you find success.

Help is always out there. At Begin Again Institute, we can offer the help and support you need to start your sobriety journey and find freedom from sexual addiction. Contact us today to rebuild your life and find healing.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/blog/benefits-of-sober-lifestyle/

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flareish · 3 years

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Sister Takeover

bokuto x fem!reader

summary: With bokuto practicing so much for an upcoming game he hasn’t had much time for date nights. Bokuto’s two older sisters are in town and you end up having a girls night.

genre: fluff

word count: 1.2k

warning: suggestive comments, kisses

a/n : I just found out that according to the haikyuu wiki and other sources Bokuto has two older sisters. How could I not write about it

The volleyball season was right around the corner which means Bokuto is working harder than ever. However, it also means that you barely get to see him. Its strange going from being attached by the hip to not seeing him for an entire week. You were walking past Bokuto’s house, which was on the way to yours, when you saw his bedroom light was on. Strange since you thought he was still in practice. You decided to knock on the door. The door swung open and a girl answered. She looked really familiar but you couldn’t quite place her.

“Hi, I was wondering if Bokuto was home.” You ask her. She gasps.

“No way! Your Bo’s girl,” She yells back into the house, “You’ll never guess who is here, get down here!” You have no idea what is happening at this point.

“Come in,” She lets you and closes the door behind you, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Another girl comes from downstairs.

“Look its Bo’s girlfriend! Isn’t she adorable.” The second girl gasps just as loud as the first. She rushes over and gives you a big hug. They are both pretty tall, and insanely pretty. You can see where Bokuto gets his height from.

“We’ve been dying to meet you but Bo thought we’d scare you off.” One of them explains.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” You say politely, you were mentally prepared to meet more of his family, “Bokuto has told me about you guys as well.”

“Oh, no need to be so polite.” An arm is thrown over your shoulder.

“You’re family now!” They drag you to the living room and before you know it you, you are fitting in like another sister. They tell you tons of stories of Bokuto as a kid and even manage to find some home videos. The three of you just laugh for the next few hours. You share some stories of the past few years from him in highschool that they missed when they were in college. Let’s just say they love you.

You are all sat on the couch cuddled under blankets in a solid lump of tangled limbs, watching a tv show and eating pizza when the front door opens.

“I’m home.” You hear Bokuto grumble, exhausted from practice. The two sisters freeze.

“Hide,” She whispers harshly, “He’ll kill us if he finds out we met you without him here.” You slip under a blanket as he walks by the couch.

“Ew, you stink. Go take a shower.” One of them complain, the smell rolling off him. You were pretty used to it by now, and with the blanket covering your face, you couldn’t even smell it.

“Whatever,” He says heading upstairs, “I’m coming back for pizza though!” He was about to go upstairs when your phone chimed loud. He must have texted you that he was home. This made him freeze, suspicious since he knew that sound. You had changed it from the default sound so you would be able to tell when it was your phone going off or someone elses.

“You guys didn’t…” He goes over to the couch and pulls the blanket off, “Y/N!?” He was not expecting this. You smile at him, guilty.

“Surpise.” You slow jazz hands at him.

“I- Wha-You should be home?” Poor Bokuto is way to tired to try and comprehend this but eventually it sinks it. He glares at his sisters about to accuse them of kidnapping you, not like that would do him much good. He doesn’t stand a chance against them, but he can pretend.

“I saw your light on so I thought maybe you were home but instead I met your sisters.” You explain, to happy about his sisters liking you to be guilty.

“Wait why was my light on.” He looks at his sisters.

“Hey that’s not the point here,” One of them avoid, “How could you hide this little gem from us?”

“Right!,” One of them hugs you from behind, “She’s just so perfect I might just have to steal her.”

“No! She’s mine! I found her first.” He complains like a little kid. This makes you laugh. “I told you he was possessive,” His sisters refers to one of her stories, “Could never share anything.” Bokuto’s eyes are widen at that.

“You told her stories?! Whatever they told you are lies! Everything is false.” He says grabbing your shoulder, terrifies what they might have told you.

“Mmm I don’t know,” You say thinking, “You do have a favorite volleyball no one else is allowed to touch.” His sisters start cackling at this. “Did you name it too?”

“Bo’s Balls!” His sister exclaims still laughing.

“Ahh! Y/N don’t encourage them!” He adjusts his grip on your arms so he can help you over the back of the couch while his sisters are distracted laughing. You let him pull you over and into his arms. He slides his hands down to the back of you thighs and picks you up. You wrap you legs around his waist and secure yourself.

“Hey Bring her back!” They yell once they realize he’s stolen you. You wave to them from over his shoulder.

“No way! She’s mine!” He runs up the stairs with you clinging on, you were slightly nervous he was going to trip running with you. Once he gets to his room he tosses you on the bed. He crawls over you and kisses you. You immediately reciprocate. The kiss lasts a good while, its slow and lazy but it makes up for the week apart.

“I’ve missed you.” He grumbles his face now buried in you neck.

“Me too,” You run your fingers through his hair, “Go shower, I’ll be right here.” He grudgingly gets up. Both he leaves he turns around and says,

“Don’t let them in if they come up here alright,” He says pointing at you, “It’s my turn with you.” He winks then leaves. You grab your phone texting your parents you’ll be staying over, which is nothing new. You get up and steal one of Bokuto’s shirts and a clean pair of boxers. You go over to the bathroom, which he left unlocked. He was still in the shower.

“Brushing my teeth.” You announce, he hums in acknowledgement. You grab your designated tooth brush for whenever you stay over, which is a lot. He comes out of the shower just as you finish. He changes into his bed clothes and hands up his wet towel. He hugs you from behind, just wanting to be near you, and grabs his tooth brush.

“Don’t get toothpaste in my hair.” You complain but make no move to get away. He finishes up in the bathroom and drags you back to his room. He throws himself on his bed and you crawl over to him. You don’t even make it under the covers before the two of you pass out, you snuggled into his chest with his arms protectively around you. Shielding you from anyone who would snatch you away, also known as his sisters.

Talking about his sisters, they are currently creeping down the hallway. They listen before opening the door, when deeming it safe, they crack it open and are met with the sight of the two of you cuddled up, sleeping.

“He did good finding that one.”

#bokuto #kotaro bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto x reader fluff #bokuto sisters #fukurodani #fukurodani x reader #fukurodani fluff #fukurodani captain #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #h #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #bokuto oneshot

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5-puthyyy · 3 years

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Not Enough

a/n : this is somewhat of a prequel to for the world to see but you dont have to read both to understand them :)

pairing/s : natasha romanoff x fem!reader

summary : natasha loves making you jealous because you get insanely possessive, but she takes it too far and only realises how badly she hurt you when it was too late... (request)

warning/s (18+ ONLY) : smut; bottom!reader, top!natasha + mommy!natasha, voyeurism, strap-on. (we kinda? top her but it’s cute so stay tuned). angst (WITH HAPPY ENDING); break-up, jealousy, cheating?

word count : 6.8k

natasha romanoff x reader masterlist

You hated these parties more than anything. They’re not your people, it’s not your scene, and you hate how much attention your girlfriend gets. Her power is ridiculously hot to you, but not just to you. Women practically swoon when she talks to them. They flock to her like birds, all squawking desperately, all with the most seductive faces they can put on. You hate it.

What you can’t stand more than anything though is when Natasha gives in just for a moment, when she acknowledges their attempts, when she reciprocates. You know she does it to rile you up and make you march over and claim her, but it still hurts.

“Oh, he takes us there every summer! Me and the kids, the whole lot, we pack up and head to the beach house. I mean, Frank spends his time in his office anyway so I’d hardly call it family time, but...” Martha or something rambles on in front of you, chewing on her fifth mini quiche. It’s hard enough to focus when you’re not interested in the conversation, even harder now that your eyes have caught your girlfriend across the room.

Your girlfriend. With a fucking blonde bimbo in the tightest lace dress you’ve seen, leaving absolutely no room for imagination. It’s clear that she’s throwing herself at Nat, laughing with her head thrown back, pressing her arms together to push her breasts up. What makes it worse is Nat doesn't look at you like she usually does with her teasing, knowing smirk. Instead, she leans in and brushes her fingers up and down the blonde’s arm.

“And Andy, the little rascal, he’s five now and...” You give Martha a tight smile and nod, pretending to be engaged but your eyes quickly drift back to Nat. She’s still refusing to look at you and you know she can feel your eyes on her, she has to.

“Excuse me.” You mumble to Martha and take a deep, shaky breath before making your way over to Nat. But you pause in your tracks, nearly bumping into a waiter, when Nat’s fingers move up to twist the blonde’s hair and tuck it behind her ear. Her thumb brushes the blonde’s jawline before dropping down. You’re not entirely sure what you even feel right now. It doesn't look fake. It looks real, like Natasha wants her as she smiles at her and subtly bites her bottom lip.

You try shake off the tight feeling in your chest, swallowing down any cries or gasps that want to come out, and continue marching to the pair. Nat sees you first, giving you a warm smile as her eyes lit up. The blonde bitch sends you a glare at the interruption, seeing Natasha’s attention stolen from her.

“Hey, love, I was-” You don’t want to hear anything, no excuses, no sweet words.

“I want to go home.” You interrupt her and the redhead quirks a brow, a surprised look on her face.

“Manners.” Nat says in a strained tone, gesturing to the blonde next to her.

“Natasha, I’m going home. With or without you.” There’s no hesitation in your voice, angered by her still giving attention to the blonde. Natasha clenches her jaw, reaching out for you but you’ve walked away quickly, marching outside without so much as a nod of goodbye to anyone.

You’ve been waiting in the car for almost 10 minutes before Natasha finally comes out. You refuse to look at her, even though you know she looks amazing in her black dress, hair flowing from the light wind. No matter how much you try push it out of your head, it’s so obvious she wanted her. That look on her face, the touch of her hand, her thumb brushing her cheek was nowhere near friendly. You can’t fake that.

“Want to explain yourself?” Natasha clears her throat before asking in a steady voice. You roll your eyes at her. Explain yourself? She’s the one that was flirting with that bitch right in front of you.

“Do you want to explain yourself?” Your girlfriend sends you a killer glare that you can see reflected through your window. You still refuse to look at her.

“Drop the attitude or I’ll fuck it out of you.” Her hand leans over to dig into your thigh but you shove her hand away and make a show out of moving away from her, legs pressed together against the car door.

“Sure you don’t want to go fuck that whore?” You spit out with venom, clenching your jaw and crossing your arms over your chest tightly. Natasha smirks, glancing at you.

“It’s not hard to just say you’re jealous, kitten.” She says teasingly and you can’t control yourself anymore. You huff out and turn to face her, anger on your face.

“Pull over.” You demand, and Nat has the power, she always does, but she pulls over anyway. It’s dark and cars are flying by; no one will see the two of you. But you wish they could. You wish they could all see you, see Natasha unbuckling her seatbelt and shrugging off her coat. You wish they’d see you shifting to push the seat back, see you take your coat off quickly and twist your fingers with Natasha’s locks, tugging until your lips crash together.

The car shakes a little when Natasha climbs on top of you and you practically fall back onto the seat. It’s a fight for dominance and she's surprised you’re even fighting. She always wins. But not this time. This time you bite down on her bottom lip as a warning, running your fingers up and down her body until they dig into her curves.

“Oh, you want to top Mommy?” Natasha chuckles against your lips, pulling away to let the two of you breathe for a second.

“My Mommy. I can fuck you whenever I want.” You growl out and sink your teeth into her bottom lip again. Your bodies move together in sync, Natasha’s hips rolling against yours as she grinds on your thigh.

“Then fuck me.” She whispers into your ear, biting just below it to earn a moan from you. The grin she gives you is sinister and seductive all in one, arms draped over your shoulder, fingers scratching along the back of your neck.

Your urgency becomes pure instinct, need, animalistic desire as you pull her into a bruising kiss, a clash of teeth, tongue, lips. Everything that is Nat takes over your sense; her taste, scent, sounds, the way her hot body feels on top of you. You lift her dress up to let her straddle you better, fingers digging into her exposed thighs. Your kisses drift to her neck, sucking harshly, tongue licking over your marks.

“No mark-” She tries to moan out but you growl and bite down hard, earning a gasp from her.

“Yes marking.” There’s no room for argument in your tone, even from your Mommy. She was already grinding desperately, but when your fingers brush between her legs over her soaked panties she rolls her hips like a maniac, moaning above you. “So wet. For me? Or for her?” You whisper with a wet kiss to her neck. She groans and rolls her hips down harder, heavenly sounds finding their way to your ears.

“You, kitten. Only you. Now fuck me before I lose my patience.” Nat demands and you obey, pulling her panties to the side and sliding your fingers through her wet folds. You waste no time in pushing two fingers into her, earning a filthy moan directly into you ear. Nat’s legs tighten around you, hands tugging harshly on your hair as she slowly starts bouncing up and down.

All you can see are the top of her breasts and your other hand is occupied kneading her ass and guiding her in riding your fingers. You do the only thing you can think of and bite her dress, tugging it down.

“Fuck. Such a desperate whore for Mommy, aren’t you? You want me that bad, kitten?” Nat manages to breathe out, controlling her moans. You do want her, so bad, all the time. You internally thank the universe that she decided to go braless, and latch your mouth around a nipple. You suck expertly, flicking your tongue over her hardening bud and curling your fingers as she rides them.

Moments like this are rare because Nat doesn't let you take control. Even now, she’s still trying to keep her control, establishing her dominance over you. She never really gives into her pleasure. She never gives into you. And that fucking hurts.

“Let go. Just let go, Nat.” You plead, pushing a third finger into her. She stretches around you, swallowing your fingers in, letting out strained moans. Your thumb rubs over her clit and her pussy throbs tightly around you. You know she’s close, but you don't want her to cum until she completely lets go, until she’s all yours. “Please. Let go.” You move your thumb and dig your nails into her ass cheek making her slow down.

“Don’t tease me, kitten.” Natasha growls, her hand coming to wrap around your neck. She pulls you into a bruising kiss, nipping your bottom lip. She’s holding back, and as much as you respect her decisions and preferences, this hurts. You sigh into her mouth and move your thumb up to rub quick and hard circles over her clit. You push your hand up to fuck her harder, meeting her desperate grinds. “Oh, fuck, good girl. Mommy’s good girl.” Her hand tightens around your neck, eyes fluttering closed when she cums around your fingers, juices flooding your palm. She’s so beautiful, flames in her hair, pillowy lips hung open, full breasts bouncing. But you want more. You feel terrible about it, but you want more and she won't give herself to you. She wouldn’t flirt with or want anyone else if she was truly in love with you the way you are with her. “Good girl.” Nat breathes out as she climbs off you and shuffles back to her seat. You sit in silence for a minute or two as she fixes her dress, turning the car back on.

“Take me home.” The shakiness in your voice has her head snapping to the side quickly, scanning your features, but you won't let her see you. You face the window, your body pressed up against the car door.

“Baby, are you okay?” She asks cautiously, hand coming out to touch your arm but you flinch away. You can’t ignore the ache in your chest anymore, you can’t keep the images of her touching that blonde out of your head.

“Please. Just take me home.” A single tear slides down your face and you pray to God she can’t see it. You don’t want to cry in front of her.

“O-Okay. We’ll be home soon, my love.” She drives onto the road and almost swerves at your next words.

“No. My home. Not yours.” Your voice is less shaky this time but it scares her nonetheless because she’s never heard it before. She’s never heard or even seen you this upset, not directed at her at least. Nat silently drives you to your shared loft, worrying and panicking over what she could have possibly done to hurt you in mere seconds.

“Can I pick you up tomorrow? For dinner?” Nat hesitantly asks when she pulls up to your street, fingers tapping on the wheel. You let out a sigh and finally face her, tears all dried up but she can still see that you’ve been crying. When your eyes lock onto hers you can’t help but tear up again, lips quivering. “I’m so sorry. Please, just-” It’s too much, it hurts too much and you can’t just ignore it anymore.

“You can’t just-just do that! You can’t give attention to someone else like that, attention that should be mine. You should be mine, Natasha! But it doesn’t feel like you are.” Your voice cracks a little but you don’t let that embarrass you. You’re more embarrassed that you’ve been with her for this long and she still hasn’t given you all of her.

“I am, baby, I’m all yours, I don’t want her. I don’t want anyone else.” Nat pleads with her hands grabbing yours but you pull away quickly. The hurt expression on her face makes you want to break out into a sob but you hold back. Not in front of her, not when she’d never cry in front of you.

“I don’t have all of you. You won't let go.” Her brows come together in confusion as she huffs out in frustration.

“What are you-”

“You hold back so much, Nat. I give you all of me, I’ve been giving you all of me for months now and you’re still scared to let go.” You’re not completely stupid, you understand that as a dom it can be harder to be vulnerable. But this isn’t just sex. She’s not just your dom, she's your girlfriend. You’re her girlfriend, and it’s been months and she still hasn’t told you she loves you too. Seeing her flirt with someone else and make it look so real doesn’t help her case. There’s only so much you can take before you break.

“Y/N...my love, please, just let me take you back to my place and we’ll talk it out. Okay? Please.” She tries to put on a calming smile on her face but it comes off desperate and you feel terrible. You know she’s scared but giving into her won't make her push to fight through that fear.

“I can’t. I can’t do this right now.” You open the car door, ignoring her pleading, sobbing as your voice cracks.

“Wait, Y/N, wait, please!” Nat cries out but you slam the door shut and you're already running up into your building. “Shit. Shit!” She slams her open hand against the car wheel, letting out a frustrated sigh. Did she...did she just lose you?

It’s only an hour before Natasha’s texting you, spamming your phone with apologies. But it’s clear she’s not understanding exactly what she’s even apologising for, so you turn your phone off and sit with your roommates watching whatever movie the channel is showing.

When you first met Natasha, bumping into her at a small coffee shop, you were so struck by her beauty you’re pretty sure you fell in love right then and there. She paid for a new coffee, and then another, and another, and you didn't sleep that night because all you could think about was Natasha’s forest eyes and Natasha’s heavenly laugh and Natasha’s pillowy lips that you wanted to kiss so bad - you’re 100% sure you didn't sleep because of the caffeine but you like making the story romantic.

She didn’t wait three days like the unspoken rule usually is, but texted you the next morning asking to meet for a coffee again before work. What started as 30 minute coffee dates turned into hour long lunches and two hour long dinners and night long love making. You love her and you told her fairly quickly, only four months in but she didn't push you away. She pulled you into her and kissed you so softly with nothing but emotion. But she didn’t say it. Hasn’t said it and it’s been months since then.

You know she’s had trouble in the past with her emotions, you know about her trauma and her ex and everything else she’s ever been through. But her telling you is different to trusting you. It’s not really trusting. She trusts you with information, but not with herself, not with her body, with her mind, her soul. She’s holding back so much and you can’t take it anymore because it’s been so long now that you think she’s waiting. She’s waiting for the right time to leave, to be with someone else. Not because you’re not good enough but because she’s afraid. You don’t want to spoon-feed her. She has to be scared enough to just let go and be vulnerable, be herself with you.

As much as you want her, you deserve to have someone who wants you desperately too. You deserve the same love back, and if she can’t give it because she’s too scared of love, then there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t be patient forever.

The next morning a bouquet of flowers were in your living room with a note from Natasha saying she’s sorry and hopes you have a good week. When you got back home from work there was a basket of treats that your roommates had already devoured, bu they were generous enough to leave the note from Nat saying none of these treats are as sweet as you.

When your loft had been filled with flowers, chocolates, cakes, and muffins by the end of the week you had no choice but to angrily drive up to Natasha’s building.

“Oh! Good evening, Miss Y/L/N. Good to see you.” Her doorman greeted you like he usually does, but with a surprised expression. The creases on his forehead got wider as his brows shot up. He shoots a kind smile towards you though, excited to see you.

“Hey, Bill. How you doing? How’s the grandkids?” You ask him with a grin of your own, folding your hands in front of you politely.

“They’re perfect, thank you for asking.” He smiles wider at the mentioning of his grandkids, even wider at the realisation that you remember your conversations with him.

“Is Nat up?” You ask gesturing to the door. He holds the door open for you, stepping in for a moment with you.

“Yes, Miss Romanoff is in, but she only arrived a few minutes ago.” Just a few minutes ago? You look at him a little confused before giving him a nod and slowly walking backwards to the lifts.

“Oh. Okay, thanks, Bill.”

“Enjoy your evening, Miss Y/L/N.” He waves you off and steps back outside with his hands behind his back.

Just a few minutes ago? It’s late. Too late for her to still be at the office. If there was a party she would have invited you, she always does. Even if you’re upset with her, she would have. You shake away the idea that she might have been with someone else, with a woman, and click the button for the penthouse.

She’s waiting for you by the time it dings open, eagerly standing near the lift. She catches you off guard, stepping into your personal space and going for a hug, but she stops herself halfway realising you might not want it. Nat’s hands drop down limply by her sides as she chews on her bottom lip and tries to get you to look at her.

“Hi.” You whisper out when you finally meet her eyes.

“Hey. Hi. What are you-How are you? How’ve you been?” She stutters nervously, playing with her hands in front of her. You’ve never seen her this nervous before. You take a step forward and wrap your arms around yourself, hugging yourself tight.

“I’m okay, Nat.” You sigh out.

“Oh. That’s good. I’m glad.” You two stand there in awkward silence for a moment as the lift doors shut. There’s soft music playing in the background so you know she was about to draw herself a bath.

“Listen, I came to tell you to stop sending-” You start but she interrupts.

“I love you.” She says with absolutely no hesitation, looking you directly in the eyes. Your breath gets caught in your throat, almost choking on it at hearing her words. You’ve wanted to hear them for so so long, but the desperation in her eyes makes you think it’s still not authentic. “I-I’m sorry. I should have let you finish. Carry on.” You just stare at her with your mouth hung open in disbelief. “What?”

“You-You can’t just say that and tell me to carry on like nothing happened!” She flinches at your words, rubbing a hand over her forehead with a loud sigh. She walks back until she’s leaning against the couch.

“So you get mad at me because I hold back, and get mad at me when I don’t? Baby, you’re really confusing me.” She chuckles out, pleading you with her eyes. You know she’s trying so you just sigh and walk over to the minibar in the corner of the living space.

“I need a drink.” You fix yourself a drink in silence, making her one too. She sits on the couch and waits until you put her drink down on the table and sit across from her.

“So...” She starts and clears her throat. You’re not even sure what you want to talk about anymore. You just...you were mad, so mad and so hurt but now you just miss her. Seeing her makes you miss her even more.

“So.”

“I love you.” She bursts out and you give her a stern look, almost choking on your drink.

“Natasha.” She scoffs at your response, leaving her martini on the table and leaning over resting her arms on her thighs.

“What? I do. I love you. God, it’s so easy saying it now that I’ve said it once. I fucking love you, Y/N.” She laughs out, relief in her expression. Her eyes are brighter - still desperately looking at you - and her lips stretch into a small smile.

“Natasha, are you sure you’re not just saying it because you think it’s what I want to hear?” You reason with her gently, placing your drink down.

“I-Is it...not?” She looks even more confused now, cowering back into her seat.

“It is, but I want you to mean it. I want you saying it because you want to, because you want me and trust me enough to be vulnerable with me.” You soften your voice to try get her to understand you. She frowns at your words and rushes around the table to you with purpose. You take in a harsh breath as Natasha gets in front of you, dropping herself to her knees between your legs. She takes hold of your face in her hands and strokes your cheeks gently with her thumb.

“I can’t-I can’t lose you. I can’t. I’m more scared of losing you than of...giving you all of me. I love you, Y/N, I’ve been in love with you for so long. I just-I don’t know how to do this. This intimacy thing and-and opening up, and just being me, and part of it is because I don’t even know who me is. I. I is. Am. I am.” Nat speaks truly, stuttering at the end while she corrects her grammar. You can’t help but giggle at her confused and slightly embarrassed expression. She laughs along with you lightly, eyes lighting up when she hears your laughter, sees you smiling down at her.

“Dork.”

“Your dork.” Nat corrects you, leaning in to brush her nose against yours. “I’m sorry. For flirting with her like that. I was stupid, so stupid. I only want you, Y/N, no one but-” She rambles on but you’ve already forgiven her. She’s literally on her knees for you, pleading, being as true as she possibly can about how she feels. It’s raw and unfiltered and just Nat. You cut her off with your lips on hers, swallowing her gasp.

Her hands cling onto your cheeks, scared that if she lets go you’ll disappear. Yours dig into her hair, pulling her closer to you. Your senses are overtaken by Natasha, her scent filling your nostrils and hypnotising you. Everything about her is always so intoxicating to you.

“I love you.” She mumbles when you break lips to change angles. “I love you.” She breathes out again, slipping her tongue into your mouth. God, it feels amazing hearing her say it, so much so when there’s emotion dripping out of her tone, her kisses, her eyes. They’re dripping, you can feel the wet tears on your cheeks rubbing together but you don’t pull away. You dig your nails into the back of her neck desperately, brows scrunching together as you pour all your love into kissing Natasha.

“Off.” You breathe out, tugging on the plain shirt she’s wearing. She pulls it off quickly, breaking the kiss for a moment but coming right back to you. It’s sloppy and a mess, but it’s her.

“Bedroom.” Nat mumbles and grabs your hand, stumbling up and to the bedroom, trying to strip her clothes off on the way. She pushes you against the closed door, lips attacking your neck drawing out soft whines from your throat.

“Please...”

“I’ll give you anything you want, kroshka (little one).” Nat whispers and sinks her teeth into your neck, hand raising your thigh up to wrap around her waist. Her nails scratch along your skin and you want to feel more.

“I want your...your cock. Please, Mommy.” Hearing the magic words was all Natasha needed. The redhead gives you a soft smile, kissing you gently as she turns you around and moves you towards the bed. She lays you down, keeping your lips locked together.

“Undress for me, kroshka.” She whispers and leaves you with a quick peck, rushing off to her walk-in closet. You quickly undress yourself, undergarments included, and wait for Natasha to come back. You can feel how slick your thighs are, how wet and soaked you are for Natasha already, just from kissing her. Your hands drift down your body until they reach your heat and slide through your folds.

“Fuck.” You moan out and roll your hips against your fingers, circling your clit. God, you want her so bad that even this doesn't feel good. Touching yourself like this doesn't feel as good as kissing Natasha.

“My, my. That desperate that you couldn't wait for Mommy?” Natasha tuts, smirking when you gasp and look up at her. You sit up on your arms, breasts bouncing a little and Nat’s eyes immediately fall to them, green turning a darker shade. She’s naked with nothing but her strap, walking over to the bed with purpose in her movements. Like a predator she climbs onto the bed and crawls to you, kissing up your leg, thigh, purposely missing your core. She latches onto a breast, sucking your nipple into her mouth and flicking her tongue over it.

“Oh, Natty.” You moan out, hands tugging on her locks gently. She practically purrs at that, lapping at your nipple before leaving a line of wet kisses up your neck, jaw, until she kisses your lips softly. “I want you...want you bad.” You breathe against her full lips, nails scratching down her back. She rolls her hips gently, cock brushing through your folds, teasing your entrance.

“You have me, moya lyubov’ (my love). You’ll always have me.” Nat says soothingly, reassuringly, nose brushing against yours. She thrusts her hips forward a little, pushing her cock into you gently. You gasp at how soft the movement is, how gentle her eyes are staring into yours with adoration. You whimper at the thickness stretching you, nails digging into her back.

Nat connects her lips to yours, not being able to hold herself back being this close to your face. She pushes forward until she’s bottomed out inside you. She moans as you cry out; your pleasure is her pleasure.

“Please.” You breathe out and roll your hips against hers, begging her to move faster. But Natasha wants to take her time tonight. She wants to watch your features carefully and memorise every little detail, every movement make, every sound, every twitch, every desperate whimper that falls out of your lips.

“So beautiful.” She mumbles, pecking your lips softly. She starts a steady rhythm, thrusting into you, expertly hitting your sweet spots. It’s not hard with how big the straps she uses are. She knows you love it, knows you can take it, knows that you want her to absolutely break you.

You wrap your legs around her waist and pull her in, moaning into her neck as her cock slips into you deeper. Nat growls and starts thrusting a little harder, gaining a gasp out of you with each thrust. Your nails digging into her shoulder blades only encourage her more.

“Feels so good, Mommy.” You leave a soft kiss on her neck and hear her whimper. It’s subtle but her mouth is right by you ear so you couldn't miss it. You kiss her neck again, a little harder, and Natasha lets out a ragged breath. “You make me feel good.” You mumble again and this time latch onto her skin, sucking gently. Nat moans into your ear, a little strained, but she’s on her way. She won't hold back anymore; she trusts you.

“I love you. So much.” She tells you when she pulls away to look into your eyes and brush her lips against yours.

“I love you too, baby.” You smile against her lips and gasp into her mouth when she suddenly starts thrusting faster. A string of desperate moans flow out of your mouth and into hers as she pounds into you with a hand around the back of your head tugging on your hair gently. Natasha leans down to sink her teeth into your neck, thrusting harder and harder until you’re groaning, your body pushed back with each thrust. “Fuck, just fuck me, please. Harder, Mommy.” Nat growls at your words and leans back, sitting on her knees and gripping onto your thighs. She uses them as leverage and starts pounding into you at a rapid pace, pulling you forward to meet with her thrusts.

“Mommy’s cockwhore. All mine.” Nat pants out and digs her nails into your skin. You’re a moaning mess, unsure of what to do with your hands. You rest them on your own chest, kneading your tits. “God, look at you.” She breathes, reaching a hand up your body to pinch and tug a nipple. She uses her other hand to rub circles over your clit, smirking when you throw your head back with a whorish moan. You practically sink into the mattress, body arching and hands scrunching up the sheets. Nat looks down at your pussy taking her cock, stretching, dripping, juices practically spilling out. She can hear how fucking soaked you are and it drives her crazy that this is her doing. Only she can make you a soaked mess, desperate and aching for her. “Cum on Mommy’s cock, kotenok (kitten).” With that command, your body freezes, pussy tightening around Nat’s cock. She watches in awe as you strain, head thrown back, veins popping in your neck. A string of filthy moans fall out of your mouth as Natasha carries on her brutal thrusts until your body is practically thrashing against her.

“P-Please.” You let out strained moans, overwhelmed with the pleasure. Natasha has mercy on you and stops the pressure on your clit, but she flips you over instead. She pulls your hips until you’re on your knees, ass up in the air for her. Nat wastes no time, thrusting back in and bottoming out. “Fuck.” You groan out, head buried in the pillow.

“I just wanna make you feel good, kotenok.” She says with a light spank, gripping and kneading your skin. You moan out for her and push your ass back with each thrust. Nat stops her movements and watches as you fuck yourself on her cock, coating it each time your pussy swallows it in. “What a pretty pussy. Mine.” Nat moans out and digs her fingers into your asscheeks, thrusting forward hard. She loves how uncontrollable your moans get when she fucks you with no mercy. You let out yelps, squeals, whines, whimpers, cries, not caring if they sound ‘pretty’ or not. It’s so you, so real, so raw.

“Fuck, Mommy.” You whimper, practically drooling onto the pillow. Nat falls forward, perked buds rubbing over your back. She bites down on your neck, body flush against yours as she rolls her hips, rutting into you. “Oh, oh, Nat, Nat.” You whimper her name over and over again, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You fall over the edge quickly, pussy clamping down on her cock. She whispers sweet nothings into your ear, tugging on your hair to turn your head to the side and connect your lips. You’re barely kissing, just moaning and whimpering against each other’s lips, eyes locked together. You stay like that a while, breathing into each other until Nat slowly pulls out, kissing you as you moan.

“I-I want to try something. If you want.” She asks hesitantly when she discards the strap in the bathroom, handing you a bottle of water she just drank half of. You sit up against the headboard taking deep breaths, still composing yourself, legs twitching a little.

“Anything for you, Mommy.” You give her a loving smile, lips stretching wider when she kisses you softly, her hand brushing over your cheek.

“I just-I want you. And I want-I want to give you all of me. It’s just a little hard.” She confesses nervously and you give her a soft smile, trying not to scare her off. You can tell she’s terrified, and you’ve never seen her like this. You’ve never seen her when she’s not composed, when she’s not completely sure of herself and what she wants. But you feel yourself falling even harder with her soft and vulnerable side.

“I know, my love. We’ll go at your own pace, okay?” You reassure her and she lets out a content sigh against your lips, sitting on the bed in front of you and kissing you gently, slowly, letting your hands trail along her body. You stop at the curve of her breasts, fingers ghosting underneath, around, until you squeeze them in your hands. She gasps into your mouth, whimpering softly when you tug on her nipples. You slip your tongue into her mouth and she lets you explore, tongue dancing with hers. She’s intoxicating.

“No. Wait.” Nat pulls away when your hand ghosts over her mound and you move your hand as quickly as you can, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. “Just...sit back. Like that.” She quickly fixes the pillows and helps you sit back against them. You let her take control of the situation and watch the flush on her cheeks, across her chest. Seeing the light marks you sucked into her neck earlier has your pussy throbbing. God...she’s really yours. This beautiful woman is all yours.

“Pretty.” You accidentally mumble out and Nat pauses for a second, biting her bottom lip as her cheeks flush even darker. You smirk at her subtly, noting how she reacts to the compliment. With a final kiss, Natasha takes a deep breath and turns around, shifting until her back is flush against your front, her head resting against your shoulder. Oh. Oh.

“Just...” She starts, and gulps, losing her trail of thought at feeling your warm body against hers. Her eyes flutter closed and you hesitate for a moment before trailing a hand along her arm.

“I know. I know, baby.” She sighs, sinking into your touch. She’s really trusting you with her pleasure like this and fuck this is your new favourite position. You know it’ll probably happen once every damn year or something, but it’s worth it. She’s so worth the wait.

You gently caress her skin, taking your time to make sure you’re able to touch every inch of her skin, across her stomach, up to her chest to gently knead her breasts. She lets out a gasp followed by a moan that sounds so...free, unrestrained, so open. She doesn't beg, doesn’t move, just moans and lets you take your time to explore her body. You brush your fingers over the top of her thighs, moving until you’re at her inner thighs. She slowly spreads her legs a little further apart for you, opening herself up for you, to you.

“You’re so beautiful, Mommy.” You murmur, fingers ghosting up, back at her stomach. She rolls her hips subtly with a whimper and you know she’s desperate for you, having worked herself up fucking you first. You let your fingers move over the thin trail of red hair before reaching her heat, gasping as your fingers slide through your slit. She’s absolutely soaked. “Fuck. You’re so wet for me.” Your lips brush the side of her head and she turns to face you, letting you kiss her softly. She moans into your mouth with each experimental flick of your fingers as you brush over her clit.

“I-I need you, moya lyubov’.” She whispers against your lips, green eyes looking into yours with desire, with vulnerability. You give in quickly, heart warming at her confession, and slip two fingers into her heat. She arches against you with a gasp and loud moan, rolling her hips gently. You use a hand to still her hips, rubbing circles into her pale skin.

“Feels good?” You ask soothingly, thrusting your fingers gently into her. Her walls throb around your fingers at the question and you smirk at her answer. She lets her head fall back on your shoulder, exposing her neck to you. There’s no way you could resist so you latch onto her skin, sucking marks into her gently. She’s so free, sinking into your body behind her, letting out the prettiest moans you’ve ever heard as you quicken the pace of your fingers. Your palm slaps against her clit with each thrust and she moans again and again, letting her fingers dig into your thighs. But you slow your pace down when she starts getting tighter around your fingers.

“Baby...” She whines out, whimpering and lifting her head to kiss along your jaw. “Please.” She asks and sinks her teeth into your neck. Fuck. Hearing her beg is not something you thought you’d hear, not like this, not in bed.

“I wanna savour this, Natty. You don’t know what you do to me...I’m so obsessed with you.” You confess and brush your lips over hers. She blushes at that and kisses you to hide it. “So beautiful.” You mumble and slip in a third finger, groaning against her lips as she moans at the stretch. You steadily quicken your pace again, your other hand coming up to knead her breast and tug her nipples softly.

“Fuck, don’t stop. Please.” Nat gasps out and you’re sure her nails have broken the skin of your thighs at this point but you don’t care. She’s in your arms, she’s desperate, moaning for you, begging for you. She’s yours. You don’t stop, you don’t stop at all but thrust harder making sure you’re hitting her clit with each thrust. Her pussy throbs hard around your fingers as her breathing becomes uneven, panting between desperate moans.

“It’s okay, Natty. You can let go.” You whisper with a soft kiss below her ear and that did it. Her body freezes for a second before she lets out a loud and desperate moan followed by needy whines, hips grinding up against your hand. You pound into her as fast as you can, wanting her to fall off the edge hard. You leave her sensitive nipple and move down to rub over her clit. She gasps out, twitching against you as you prolong her orgasm.

“F-Fuck, Y/N.” Nat moans and tries to close her legs but you hook yours around hers, keeping them spread apart. She whines out, almost thrashing against you so you stop rubbing her clit, moving your hand up to knead her breast again. You slowly calm down the pace of your fingers, holding back a moan at the feeling, at the sound of how wet she is. She’s completely coated your hand, absolutely soaked for you. She lets out a sigh as you finally pull out and immediately suck your fingers into your mouth, moaning at the taste of her.

You lay like that for a moment or two, caressing her skin, stroking her hair. She finally shifts a little, slithering down and turning onto her side, pulling you to do the same. Your hands wrap around her body, keeping her close to you, tight against you. Nat lets out a staggered breath, shaky, overwhelmed with the sensations.

“Thank you for trusting me, Mommy.” You whisper, letting her know this doesn’t change the control she has, the power she has. You don’t want this to scare her away and you internally cheer when she lets out a content sigh and sinks into you.

“You’re getting tied to this bed tomorrow night.” She mumbles before falling asleep in your arms. Fuck. You did get tied up tomorrow right after she told you she was home late because she went out shopping. Nat showed you her gift, a thin leather collar with an ‘N’ pendant, and then fucked you with a leash on.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x you #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow fic #black widow x you #black widow smut #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #reader insert #avengers x reader #avengers fanfiction #mommy!natasha #top!natasha

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discopig · 3 years

Text

That other girl (Thomas Shelby x Reader) [Part 1/3]

This is lowkey inspired by Sevdaliza’s song “That other girl” so give it a listen, she’s really underrated. As a member of the Grace love-hate relationship club, and an angst lover, I’m going to enjoy writing this. I might give it a fluffy ending but we’ll see! This isn’t set in any specific season because I honestly enjoy kinda ignoring the original plotline of the show... whoops! This is a short intro chapter

When Grace Burgess moves to Birmingham, she’s automatically the star of the show, her gracious face and innocence capturing the hearts of those who lay their eyes on her, but you don’t buy it. Her sudden appearance and posh aura setting your intuition off, a perk you’d gained from being around Polly so much. At first you try to ignore her presence, but when your boyfriend, and long time friend - Thomas Shelby, takes a keen liking to Grace, could you ever win against that other girl? Word Count: 978

Part 2 | Part 3

It was your regular evening at the Garrison, hundreds of drunk men piled up in the bar, the sounds of laughter and yelling penetrating your eardrums. You had been working at the Garrison for over 9 years, first accepting the job as a way to make some cash as you were only 18 when you ran away from your family, and the position happened to be vacant. You never intended to stay, the fumes of the factories and dark alleys in Birmingham being a stark contrast to the posh greenery and lavish villas you grew up with, however life doesn’t always work out the way you plan.

You were now 27 and if you were being honest - you hadn’t realized just how quickly the time had flown by... Well, when you know the Shelby family, it’s almost impossible for time to not fly by. You had gotten to know the Shelby family when Harry made you deliver 6 bottles of whiskey to their offices, a task you were afraid to take on, seeing as you were no stranger to the rumours about the Shelby family, and being new to Birmingham the last thing you wanted was trouble with the gangsters who have the city in the palm of their hands.

You had worn your plain brown cotton dress - the best item you could afford with the money you received from your job, and began your journey to the betting shop, trudging along the streets of Birmingham with the box of whiskey bottles. From that day on, Harry allowed you to serve the Shelby’s and you quickly got close to all of them, but one of them had completely stolen your heart - Tommy.

You’d never expected to fall for him, until you found yourself enamored by every word he’d say during family meetings, and lay in bed at night remembering every slight glance, or acknowledgement he’d given you. It was a stupid crush, and Tommy was quite a bit older than you and most likely saw you as nothing but a silly young girl, but when he started coming to the Garrison alone, eliciting your company to rant about his issues, or joke with you about how stupid Arthur was, he found himself falling in love with you too, your untouched innocence drastically standing out from the tainted souls of Birmingham, the way your eyes crinkled up when you’d smile, your London accent peeking through when you’d talk too quickly or how a cigarette looked almost like an expensive piece of jewelry between your fingers. So your love blossomed, and you became Thomas Shelby’s girl.

You had just delivered a bucket of beer to a table in the corner of the Garrison and were heading back to the bar, when all of a sudden you found yourself laying on the floor, the pain from your ankle hissing through your body

“Oh for fucks sake!” you exclaimed. Harry rushed over after seeing your condition - him having become an almost father like figure to you over the years.

“Are you alright Y/N?” he asked, concern beaming from his eyes

“I think I’ve sprained my bloody ankle or somethin’, it hurts like ‘ell”

Harry shook his head and offered to pick you up, you reached out to him and he took you to a taxi outside the Garrison

“Clyde, you’re gonna have to carry her up to her apartment” he said to the young taxi driver, who simply nodded in response

“You don’t need to come in, make sure you get your ankle fixed alright? Call a doctor or somethin’”

“I will Harry, don’t worry ‘bout me, I’ll be back before you know it” you smiled at him, always being able to maintain your high spirits.

It had been two weeks since you’d been to work, your ankle was now in fairly good condition, however you still needed to be careful. Tommy had visited you almost every day, despite him being obviously tired, John had also visited a lot, always cracking jokes and making your tiny apartment smell like expensive cigars.

You’re wearing a green apron-style cotton dress with a white cardigan and some white flats - heels no longer a possible choice for the time being - your hair pinned back in a low bun, with a few loose strands at the front. You aren’t going into work today, you’re simply going to visit as you miss Harry and the bustle of the bar.

The bar isn’t as busy as usual as it’s only 2 PM. When you walk in you find Harry behind the bar, polishing some of the shot glasses, he beams when he sees you

“Y/N! I see your ankle is doing better”

“It is Harry, sadly I can’t work yet or Dr. Prew will kill me, but I’m just happy to leave my apartment for once! How have things been without me? Hope you’re not suffering too much eh?”

“Oh no no, thinks have been quite smooth with the new barmaid” he replied

“New barmaid?” you questioned

“Yeah, her name is Grace. Didn’t Tommy mention her? He’s been here almost everyday, she usually serves them and tends the bar”

“No... he never mentioned a new barmaid. Well, I’m happy you’ve had help while I’ve been gone, hopefully I’ll get to meet said Grace soon”

You tried to sound enthusiastic, but not only were the thoughts of reasons as to why Tommy would refrain from telling you about your new colleague plaguing your mind, you also weren’t too happy about having to share the bar with someone else aside from Harry. You had gotten used to it and felt as though she might ruin your flow, and take away your usual tips.

Your deep thought is suddenly interrupted by the sound of the Garrison door slamming shut

“I’m back with the new glasses” A female voice exclaimed. You turned to the direction of the voice and felt your spirit bury itself six feet underground

Shit chapter but oh well... It’s 2 AM and I’m exhausted ❤

#cillian murphy x reader #Cillian murphy fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder x reader #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders angst #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby imagine

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shanastoryteller · 3 years

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Wen Qing says yes because all she can think of is the consequences if she doesn’t.

She probably should have spent some time considering what, exactly, the consequences of saying yes would be.

Wei Wuxian wants to go back to the banquet and shake Jin Zixun until the information they need falls out, but Wen Qing knows that’s a terrible idea, knows that he shouldn’t be helping her at all but he definitely shouldn’t stand in front of the whole cultivation world and threaten the Jin family for her. He asks one of the servants instead, something she wouldn’t have thought to do, but he insists that servants know everything and after a hefty bribe he’s telling them what they need to know and even turns a blind eye when they take a horse that’s been left unattended.

She’s skinny on a good day and she hasn’t seen a good day in a long time. Wei Wuxian didn’t used to be this thin, this breakable, but he is now, and she tells herself it’s a good thing because the one horse is easily able to carry both of them. He sits behind her even though he takes the reigns and she leans back into him because she’s been holding herself up for so long and she’s tired and he’s helping her, something no one has been willing to in – ever, really. She thinks she could almost count his ribs against her back and thinks if she’s alive tomorrow she’ll give him a lecture about eating properly without a golden core to nourish him.

They arrive just as a guard is raising a broken flag pole above his head to skewer A-Ning.

Wei Wuxian stops him, using a talisman to bind the man’s wrist to his own and jerking him away from her brother. Who is alive, and whole, and does not have a pole through his stomach. She’s crying when she holds him and Wei Wuxian stands between them and everyone else and looks at the guards and her people and says, “I have an idea. It’s a bad idea.”

“Your ideas usually are,” she says, but she’s still shaking at having her little brother back in her arms so it doesn’t come out as acerbic as she intended.

It is a terrible idea. She doesn’t have to agree to it.

She does.

They go to the nearest temple in Lanling because they need witnesses for this. The monks are confused and frightened but bear witness as she bows three times to Wei Wuxian and is bowed to three times in return.

She is exhausted and scared and is still unconvinced that she’ll live to see the sunrise, but Wei Wuxian had helped her when she hadn’t asked and saved her brother and wouldn’t let the guards stop them from leading her family from the work camp, so she marries him.

They go back to Koi Tower. It’s terrifying but Jiang disciples meet them and look askance at all the rest of them but don’t hesitate to obey Wei Wuxian. They surround them as they walk and if they have opinions about being told to guard traitorous Wen, they don’t voice them. Maybe the fact that they’re guarding Wei Wuxian too is enough.

They enter the banquet hall and everything is silent. She doesn’t know how to read the look on everyone’s faces and she doesn’t try. Instead she stands by Wei Wuxian’s side and does what she does best – she doesn’t flinch.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jin Guangshan shouts, appalled. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Sect Leader Jin,” he says, offhand, casual, as if having his hall filled with Wen is a perfectly ordinary occurrence. “You’re so good at throwing parties. I was hoping you would throw one for me.”

Jin Guangshan’s eyes narrow. “Why would we throw a party?”

“Well, it is my wedding day,” he says, and holds out his hand. Wen Qing places her hand in his, lets his other hand settle warm and proprietary at the small of her back. “My wife, Wen Qing. We were just married at the temple in Lanling. Feel free to question the monks if you don’t believe me.”

The silence breaks, everyone shouting now, and A-Yuan’s cry cuts through all of them.

She hadn’t known that Wei Wuxian had any experience with children, but he turns automatically, opening his arms, and Granny barely hesitates before placing A-Yuan into them. After all, if they can’t trust Wei Wuxian, they’re all dead anyway.

A-Yuan, astonishingly, quiets instantly as Wei Wuxian bounces him in his arms, settling his head on his shoulder and sticking his thumb in his mouth.

“You,” Wen Qing turns, sees Jiang Cheng looking between them, and she could probably read the look on his face but she doesn’t want to. “He’s your – you have a – was it when we, after Lotus Pier?”

She and Wei Wuxian glance at each other, and maybe this marriage will work out, because that one glance contains a whole conversation of things they can’t say. The timeline almost works. A-Yuan likely was conceived sometime around the fall of Lotus Pier. If there is a child, Wei Wuxian’s actions become more understandable, seem less like an act of war and something closer to what they really are, an act of love.

She could have, she supposes, laid with Wei Wuxian and gotten pregnant and bore a child in the years since they’ve seen each other. She didn’t, but the only ones who know that are either dead or just as desperate as she is for this to work.

Or. Well.

Jiang Yanli’s face is easier to look at, even as it does something complicated then smooths. She was there and awake while they all recovered with her and Wen Ning. She knows that she and Wei Wuxian didn’t have any sort of epic romance, or even a quick tryst, during that time. Wei Wuxian was so obsessively focused on helping his brother that the idea he’d have paused long enough for sex when he hadn’t for sleep or food is ridiculous. But Jiang Yanli meets her gaze then pointedly lowers her eyes and something like relief trickles down Wen Qing’s spine.

Wei Wuxian looks around the hall and if he hesitates over Lan Wangji, that’s a conversation for them to have later, if there is a later.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, formally, and Jiang Cheng nearly flinches before catching himself. “Meet my son. Wei Yuan.” He lets that echo through the hall and then says, “I could not leave him, nor the woman who bore him, nor the family that raised him when I remained in ignorance.”

She lowers his gaze as if in shame, for having a child out of marriage, for keeping that child from his father, but mostly she can’t stand to see the look at Jiang Cheng’s face any longer.

There is intense debate among the clans. The Lan and surprisingly even the Nie vote against the Jin and agree for the Wen to be released to the custody of the Jiang rather than the Jin. What’s the difference between one great clan and the other, after all, and Jiang Cheng fights for this, fights for them, and Wen Qing knows he’s really fighting for Wei Wuxian. Their marriage makes things too complicated, like they’d hoped. A-Yuan makes things too complicated, and everyone in the hall mostly seems to want to go back to drinking. There is some poorly hidden sentiment that if Wei Wuxian wants a war bride he should be entitled to her, for his contribution to the war, perhaps, and Wen Qing hates these people. They do not call her and her family tribute but they imply it easily enough.

If the price of the lives of her family is her pride, that’s fine. She abandoned that a long time ago.

“You have been good for him,” Jiang Yanli tells her a month after they’ve moved into Lotus Pier, a month of being the wife to Wei Wuxian and the mother to the now Wei Yuan. She doesn’t do a particularly good job at either of these roles, she thinks, but Wei Wuxian makes a good husband and a good father and it was his idea but she can’t help but feel guilty, can’t help but think she stole for herself and her family what was meant for someone else.

Her sister in law’s words aren’t wrong, however. She doesn’t let Wei Wuxian drink so much anymore and forces him to eat. She’s there in his bed when he gasps awke from nightmares and when he can do nothing more but clutch his chest and weep. She gets the story of the Burial Mounds from him, eventually, and she doesn’t know how to heal that kind of trauma, but she holds him when he cries and thinks even if she can’t be a proper wife, she can do this, and she heals the damage demonic cultivation does to his meridians, and it seems like such little things, comparatively, but it helps.

She’s offers up the excuse that demonic cultivation makes using his sword difficult and people stop asking him to carry it. A-Ning sticks to Wei Wuxian’s side when she can’t, looking faintly sad whenever Wei Wuxian makes an unhealthy choice, which is even more effective than her scolding, although not as effective as getting A-Yuan to place his chubby hand on Wei Wuxian’s cheek and go, “Baba no.”

Without so many nightmares, with having people around he can talk to freely, with no one pestering him about his sword, Wei Wuxian shoulders all the responsibilities of first disciple and brother of the clan leader, something he apparently hadn’t been able to do before.

She knows what the rumors say. Those that had been against her and her family being set free, relatively speaking, are now patting themselves on the back. Clearly the fearsome Yiling Patriarch has been cowed by marriage. His bastard son, who he loved enough at first sight to legitimize, has softened his sharp edges.

Wen Qing knows that’s all bullshit and Jiang Yanli does too, but.

He is better.

Jiang Cheng can’t seem to decide between being relieved and grateful at having his brother back and resentful that it took Wen Qing to bring it about and – whatever his feelings about her are, and her marriage to his brother are, which she doesn’t know because she refuses to acknowledge them.

“I’m glad,” she says quietly.

Her sister in law squeezes her hand, and Wen Qing squeezes back, and if this isn’t exactly the life she wanted, well. It’s a life. That’s more than she thought she’d have.

She has a loving husband and an adorable son and living, healthy family. There is nothing for her to complain about.

Just because it all feels stolen, just because it all feels like something she never should have been given, doesn’t make it less good, doesn’t make it less hers.

Wen Qing knows that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are in love with each other because she has two functioning eyes. She’s known that since she was a teenager in Cloud Recesses.

She had not wanted to come between them. She hadn’t planned on it. This all hadn’t even been her idea.

She’s guilty enough about it that she ignores her own feelings.

At first, she doesn’t have any, not really. Then it hadn’t been right.

She’s never felt greedy before. She doesn’t like it but she doesn’t know how to stop it.

They’ve been married for over a year the first time Wei Wuxian kisses her.

They’ve been married nearly two years the first time Wei Wuxian kisses Lan Wangji.

Something settles in her then, relief burrowing into her bones. Lan Wangji comes to her after, a combination of desirously happy and mortified, and bows to her and looks her in the eye when he tells her that he’s in love with her husband.

“I know,” she says kindly, “he’s easy to love.” She pauses, then says, “I do not mind. If it’s you.”

His lips part, and she holds the place that should be his, married to Wei Wuxian, but.

She can share, if he can. Even if it can’t be official, on paper, she and Wen Ning can bear witness to him and Wei Wuxian bowing to each other and maybe she’ll finally be able to breath when she can give back some of what she stole.

There are rumors about the three of them.

They don’t listen to them.

A-Yuan calls Lan Wangji his father and no one corrects him and that’s good enough for her, really.

It’s a good life, and it’s hers, and she’s glad of it.

#fandom ficcery #untamed #what the fuck is this #i cannot emphasize enough #how much i didn't intend to write this #meant to write like four sentences just to get the idea out #and instead there's this #i just think wwx an wq would be a good married couple #i guess #i comprise the entirety of the wwx/wq community #i just think they're neat

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junko-and-riri-domain · 3 years

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five hearts on the line | pjs

i know that i said last chapter that this one wouldn’t be as angsty but then i started writing and it sorta just happened? so there’s some angst in this one (forgive me again my loves 🥺)

Hope was never a plan, only a direction. After all, you could hope for money and with that hope make a plan to get it. Or you could hope for your parent’s approval but actually getting it was a different process for everyone. Jay had hoped for a future with you and Ni-ki, he really did. It was the direction he saw the rest of his life going towards, you and him as the parents of three boys. He knew it was foolish of him to hope of such things when so much chaos had happened and it was still too early since you never actually put a label on the relationship, hence, why he was going to ask the “what are we?” question that night.

17 days, 20 hours, and 30 minutes was how long it had been since you last saw each other face to face. But who was counting? At this point, he was entering himself into self-given heartbreak and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The scent of your shampoo still lingered on the fibers of his pillowcase but he couldn’t bring himself to wash it away. When he closed his eyes he could still feel your head resting on his chest and your fingers trailing random patterns on his arms. Some days it seemed like he could still hear Ni-ki’s giggles mixed in with Sunoo and Jungwon’s. The boys were doing ok, they still talked to each other at school, and Jay would bring them to the bakery if they wanted something. But he no longer went inside. He’d tell his boys that he needed to take a call or send a quick email and instead would wait for them in the car but really, he was just too scared to see you because he knew that the second he saw you he’d fall back in love all over again. Or maybe that love never left and he’d instead be forced to acknowledge its existence. The door to his office opening brings Jay out of his thoughts, sounds of excitement from his sons greeting his ears.

“Thanks, man,” he said to Jake with a small smile. This situation felt familiar to him and it didn’t take long for him to realize that it was because the first time he heard about you was when Jake brought the boys to his office and you defended him against Minjoo’s grandmother.

“Can we sleepover at Ni-ki dongsaeng’s place tomorrow?” Jungwon asked. Tomorrow was Saturday meaning that he’d drop off the boys Saturday morning, see you, leave, pick up the boys Sunday morning, see you, and leave again.

“I’ll text his mom tonight.”

Later that night after the boys were put to bed and he was laying in his, he found himself constantly typing and deleting what he had initially written out. To his surprise, you had texted him first with a simple “hey” to which he responded the same. While sorting out the details of tomorrow, Jay couldn’t help the slight happiness filling him now having a reason to talk to you again.

You couldn’t really place a name on the feelings coursing through your veins when you woke up on Saturday morning. Nerves, slight anxiousness, maybe even fear? While you were glad to be able to spend time with Sunoo and Jungwon, seeing Jay was a different story. The thought of seeing him again left you restless which led to constantly tossing and turning in bed, ultimately resulting in a sleepless night. When the morning came, you heard a knock on your door and upon opening it the boys greeted you before quickly rushing to Ni-ki’s room, leaving you alone with Jay. He looked like a mess, hair slightly messy, eyes somewhat bloodshot red, and lips chapped dry. You probably didn’t look any better either.

“Are you ok?” Upon saying it you realized what a dumb question it was. Only a little over two weeks had passed and two weeks wasn’t nearly enough to get over what happened. But if you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t sure if you’d ever get over it.

“Still processing, you?” Jay replied.

“Yeah, same here.” There was a sort of longing look in Jay’s eyes. That kind that told you he felt as if he wanted to say something but chose not to.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” was all his reply before leaving.

Spending the day with three boys like Sunoo, Jungwon, and Ni-ki meant that they were eager to do whatever it was that you had planned for them. You had decided to try out new cake recipes and in the process using them as your little helpers and taste testers. While it did result in the boys getting cake mix all over their clothes and a little on their faces, their smiles of happiness and giggles of joy were well worth the cleanup after. When night came and you were tucking the boys into bed, you felt a hand grab yours. Seeing that it was Sunoo’s, you smiled,

“What’s up, bubs?”

“I don’t want Appa to pick us up tomorrow, I wanna stay with Eomma.”

“Eomma?” you asked. He nodded with a pout,

“Minjoo said that living together makes you a family and we lived together which makes you our Eomma, not our Noona! But because you and Ni-ki left he said you and Appa got divorced and you chose Ni-ki instead of me and Jungwon.” Tears started to fall from Sunoo’s eyes as he continued, “Wae, Eomma? Can’t you keep me and Jungwon-ah too?”

“Sunoo, I…” what were you even supposed to tell him? This was a conversation you shouldn’t be having with just the boys alone, after all, Jay needed to be here since they were his boys. Jungwon ended up waking up and crying too at the sight of his hyung crying which led to a confused Ni-ki. As you hugged the boys and rubbed their backs, your ears were met with blubbers of “Eomma” and “Eomma stay.” You didn’t know how long it took for them to calm down and finally head to sleep but once they did, you knew that you needed to talk to Jay now. Your hand trembled a little when holding your phone but as you heard Jay’s voice, you felt somewhat calmed.

“Everything ok?” he asked, sounding like he had just woken up. Letting out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding,

“Can you come over?” Hearing some shuffling from his side of the line,

“I’m on my way.”

When Jay got to your apartment it was nearing midnight. Without thinking, your hand took his and you led him to your room so that the boys wouldn’t wake up. Looking up at him,

“We need to talk.” He brought a hand up and rubbed the back of his neck nervously,

“I figured.”

“Sunoo and Jungwon called me eomma.” Jay’s eyes went wide,

“They what?”

“Minjoo, remember the kid with the nosey grandma?” you looked at him and saw him nod then continued, “He told the boys that living together makes you a family. Since me and Ni-ki lived with you guys that led them to the conclusion that I shouldn’t be called Noona, I’m their Eomma. Because Ni-ki and I don’t live with you anymore they thought we got divorced and that I chose Ni-ki over them. Jay, what do we do?” Silence washed over the room as Jay furrowed his eyebrows until finally,

“I lied,” Jay said. Looking at him confused you wanted to ask what had he lied about but he continued, “the night that your mom called. I lied and I’ve been regretting it ever since,” he finished. You racked your mind trying to remember what went on before your mom called and then you remembered. It was the conversation you two had about “like-liking” each other. He had lied then?

“W-what?” you can’t stop the stutter that escapes you as your mind tries to process that Jay lied to you.

“I lied.”

“That night, you asked me if I like-like you and I said yes. But I didn’t because what is this, high school?”

“Oh.” It came out just barely above a whisper out of millions of words to exist in the world, “oh” was the only thing you could bring yourself to say.

Was it a lie every time he called you love?

Was it a lie whenever he’d hold your hand and give it a reassuring squeeze?

Was it a lie the nights he’d run his hands through your hair and talk about how happy he was you were with him?

Had you been led on this entire time?

Then you couldn’t but think that maybe it was karma.

You didn’t think about how Sunoo and Jungwon would be affected with your presence there only for it to be gone after a few weeks.

You didn’t think about how to explain to Ni-ki the whole situation with K and instead downplayed it.

You didn’t think at all because you were too damn caught up in feeling.

Maybe it was your fault for hoping.

Jay’s next words are enough to get you out of your thoughts and back to reality. As they make themselves known to your ears, your eyes are near to tears.

“I lied because how the hell was I supposed to tell you that I love you?”

“Jay, you can’t be serious? Y-you can’t just love me!”

“I didn’t,” he sighed and brought his hand up to rub his forehead, “I didn’t say it just to hear it back from you. But we both know there’s no damn way we’ll ever go back to being normal or just friends because we never were in the first place.” Jay was right and you knew it. If anything you wanted to laugh a little at how foolish it was for the two of you to just somehow develop feelings so early on after meeting each other. Though neither of you had actually said the l-word out loud until Jay did just now, you had felt it in so many ways. It was exchanged in all the stolen glances and late-night cuddles. It was there the mornings you and Jay rushed to get the boys to school and the nights they’d plead for “just one more” bedtime story. It lingered on through the hopes you had for what one day could be your future like surprise visiting Jay’s office during lunchtime and bringing food using the excuse of, “I tried some new recipes and wanted you to taste it before I sold it,” or even one day having the privilege of being called Sunoo and Jungwon’s mom. But those were fleeting moments and hope wasn’t a plan, it was merely a direction.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” you muttered.

“Give us a chance.”

“What happens if we break up, Jay? What happens if Won and Sunoo want to stop by the bakery for some cupcakes but they can’t because you and I can no longer face each other? What happens when it’s not just you and I heartbroken, it’s the kids too? There are five hearts on the line here.”

“And I’ll do everything in my power to protect each and every one of them.”

“What happens if you can’t?” You felt Jay hold your hand and after missing his touch for so long, you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.

“What happens when I can? What happens when this lasts just like I believe it will? What happens when,” you feel his thumb rub your ring finger and hear him take in a deep breath as he continues, “I put a ring on this hand and the two of us are facing each other at the altar? What happens when the five of us are taking trips to Brunei and Japan in the summer and all the other places we wanna explore together?” You wanted to believe Jay, wanted to one day fulfill all of the things that he talked about. But you couldn’t put this want into words and instead chose to answer him through action. Bringing a hand up to his shirt collar you pulled him closer to you and met his lips with yours. Unlike your first kiss with Jay or the brief ones you exchanged from time to time that were filled with passion, this one was filled with possessiveness. You could feel it in how his arms wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest as if he were scared that you’d fall into a black hole if he let go. You displayed it in how one hand of yours clung onto his shirt while the other cupped his face in hopes of keeping him here. Hope was never a plan, only a direction. But as you close your eyes breathing in Jay’s scent and reveling in the taste of him, you were desperately wishing this would be the right direction.

↬ a/n (2/2):

the end. JKJK this chapter isn’t the finale it’s the next one & i have no clue how i’m gonna wrap this story up-

❦ written by riri ( @enhykkul ) | next | series masterlist

unable to tag: @smileyjimvn | @tubaotter | @babychangmin | @snghnluvr

taglist status: open (comment or send an ask to be in it !!)

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kyberheart · 3 years

Text

A Deceitful Creation Part #1 - Wolffe x F!Reader

Part #2

Summary: You’ve been trying for a while now to get pregnant with your lover. Knowing that may never happen, you ask for some outside help from Wolffe on the down-low...

Word Count: 1483

Warnings: 18+, piv sex, infidelity, pregnancy/trying for a baby, cursing, angst

A/N: Heyyyyyyyy.... I’m still here! I had some stuff going on this past week so I missed my Friday fic upload, but hey! It’s Sunday, only missed it by a few days so whatever. I’m still working on part #3 of my little Techy-boy story. Hopefully will be finished by Friday the 3rd! Heh... part #3 on the 3rd... perfect. ANYWAY I hope you like this little blurb I wrote. I wanted maximum sad with lots of OOF. I kept the summary and header as vague as possible to not spoil the end. Good luck in there!

(Ao3 Link if ya want it)

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Wolffe was different with you. All teeth and tongue and nails dug into the plump flesh of your thighs. The look adorning his eyes in this moment is akin to a knife’s edge; he was holding back as not to tear you to shreds.

Your lover on the other hand, well… he was the whisper of a cool breeze in the night. A cascading avalanche of stolen breaths and languid strokes. Completely and utterly tender with you.

“C-close Wolffe, almost…I’m—!”

He nods, stooping to kiss you, but swiftly retracts his head with a tiny scowl. He knew the rules. No marks that can’t be covered up, no pet names, and under no circumstances can he kiss you. This was just a mutually beneficial transaction. Nothing more, nothing less.

“I got you… I got you…”

He’s reaching down, down, down to make contact with your clit. You keen, dropping your head back into the mattress. He fucks you through your orgasm, spilling inside of you as your legs wrap tightly around his waist. You tremble under him as you come down from your high. In a blur of muscle-memory Wolffe is reaching behind you for a pillow. He props your hips upward with it, grinding into you a few more times to make sure his seed is in there nice and deep.

“If this isn’t the one, I’m not sure if I can help. Maybe what they say is true, maybe we’re all infertile. I mean, I’ve heard rumors of defectors running off and getting people knocked up, but…” He shrugs, pulling out of you to head into the ‘fresher. You sigh, staring at the grey ceiling above you. That really wasn’t the case. Some were infertile, yes. You knew that all too well…

“I’m headed out. I have a supply run to facilitate. You alright?”

Wolffe grunts as he snaps his scratched armor around himself. He wasn’t much for conversations after the act. Rather, he preferred to be on his merry way as fast as possible. It wasn’t so much to avoid catching feelings as it was to steer clear of talking. He was undoubtedly the most stand-offish of the clones you knew. You were often surprised at how easy it was to lure him into the bedroom with how hostile his demeanor could be. Though on second thought he was just a normal guy. Sex is just as fun for him as it is for others.

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks Wolffe. If this one doesn’t stick I’ll leave you alone.”

He pauses to search your face. You smile at him, wrapping your arms around your chest with a sleepy yawn. A garbled message blips from his forearm, which he answers with a quick acknowledgement before seating his helmet onto his head.

“Understood. I’ll see you around. Say hi to my vod for me when he gets back.”

And with that, he’s silently leaving your apartment into the void beyond. In the silence of the room your mind wanders once more. You think of your lover. Where was he right now? Somewhere far, far away? Somewhere he was safe? Was he warm, fed, and happy?

The cool dribble of Wolffe’s cum down your thigh snaps you from your rumination. You glance at the clock, finding it’s already been twenty minutes since he’d left. More than enough time, you think. With a quick curl of your spine you’re up on your feet and heading to the ‘fresher for a nice long shower. Hopefully when you were out you’d have a comm or a message from your lover.

----------------- He hunches low, lips hovering so close to your ear his hot breaths could have burned a hole through your head.

“That’s it baby, such a good girl. Just a—oh, squeezing me so tight tonight, huh? This’ll be the one, the kriffing ONE. Gonna fuck you full, fill you up to bursting. Make you s-swell with my baby. Can’t wait to see you like that… all mine…”

You cum so hard the world around you dissipates into nothing but him. He growls, pitching you forward with his angled thrusts. His hips crush you into the bed as he cums right along with you. His amber eyes sizzle with freshly tapped desire. Whispered adorations mingle between the two of you, lost to the spinning darkness of the night. When you’ve calmed your heaving breaths, you reach up to grab one of the pillows above you. He helps you position it under your hips before kissing you roughly. Between pecks, he speaks with a heart full of gentle sweetness.

“I’ll keep doing this—you’ll see. We’ll have a little one running around before you know it. Our little adi’ka… yeah…”

His eyes grow distant, lips stilling at the nape of your neck. You huff, smacking his shoulder with your hand.

“I know babe, don’t worry. With how much you’ve been between my legs I think we’ll be having LOTS of them running around.”

You wink at him, leaning up to kiss him again. He chuckles, reciprocating your heavy prodding tongue with his own within your mouth.

“I just… I know we’ve been trying for over a year… what if I...”

You shoot him a frown, tilting your head up to look him straight in the eyes. The fact of the matter was daunting and sat like tepid acid on your tongue. If he knew he wasn’t able to sire children, it would truly break him.

“NO! You are perfectly fine the way you are. I’d know, remember? I’m chief medical officer here dummy. You—WE have nothing to worry about. It’ll happen when the time is right. Trust me.”

He smiles at you, the sight of which could warm even the frostiest planet of Hoth into the dunes of Tatooine. All your love, all your patience and turmoil and sympathy and curiosity and… kriff, you’re everything was him. All him, always was and always will be. Him.

-------------------- The vividness of your dream wakes you with a start. It seemed to be recurring the last few days, a memory of the last time you and your lover were together. You shake your head of the images that haunted you. If only he was home, you wouldn’t worry so much about him.

It had already been a few weeks since Wolffe had occupied your bed. A queasy feeling was beginning to settle low in your stomach. Your lover hadn’t been back in a long while, and you were starting to think something wasn’t right.

You rise to pee, realizing in the dimly lit hush of dawn that this was becoming a frequent occurrence for you. When your shirt brushes a bit too roughly against one of your nipples you yelp. Were they always so sore in the morning? Wait…

Could this be it? A surge of adrenaline hits you like a Hammerhead Corvette as you rush into the ‘fresher. Not long after, you have a small white strip laying on your counter. Your knee bobs with anticipation, head in your hands as you sit on the hard tiled floor. This might just be it!

As the lines swell in the tiny viewport, you force yourself to breathe as deeply as possible. The memory pushes it’s way to the front of your mind once more to taunt you, to make you feel a twinge of guilt at what you’ve done. With a groan you run your fingers soothingly through your hair. You knew you could do this. Joy, passion, and relief would pave over the deceit from which this baby would be born. Your lover would never know the truth, but it was unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Forging a life, a family for the two of you was all that mattered right now.

The time is up. The minutes counted down with bated breaths. A scream tears its way from your throat as you see the result:

Pregnant

Before you can have a full-blown excitement meltdown, a beeping from the other room draws your attention. Your comm sits on your nightstand, signaling you of an incoming message. The words flash on the screen as you wipe tears from your eyes:

Dropping in to save a Jedi Master on Lola Sayu. Don’t worry, should be home before your pretty little head hits the pillow. See you soon my love. My heart is yours, forever.

Oh, you were squealing with delight now. It was finally happening! For REAL! This was a dream come true. A baby… you were going to have a baby! And your lover was going to be home by the end of the day. You wanted to comm him, send him a picture of the test, yell it to the kriffing UNIVERSE that you were fulfilling a long-awaited dream. Both of you were. You calmed yourself, resolving to tell him in person when he got home.

You couldn’t wait until Echo was back!

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rubysunnday · 3 years

Text

your song, prt 2 | c.b

Summary: As their wedding day approaches, Y/N’s parents continue to disappoint her. Colin reminds her that his own family is now hers.

Part 1

Colin Bridgerton had a way with words.

Ever since the concert, he hadn’t stopped writing Y/N little notes, proclaiming his love to her and comparing her to a summer’s day. Y/N was almost certain that half the things he wrote down where stolen directly from Anthony’s copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets, but she wasn’t complaining.

In the dozens of letters he sent her from when he was on his travels abroad, he always managed to describe what he was seeing in a way that made Y/N feel like she was there. From his vivid descriptions of the Grecian beaches lined with houses of every colour to the snowy heights of Norway, Colin somehow always made her feel as if she was there.

Y/N treasured each and every letter he sent her, tying them all together with a beautiful ribbon that he'd sent all the way from Amsterdam. They sat on her shelf next to the dried flowers that had been a part the bouquet of flowers he'd given her for her birthday.

She had spent the day with the Bridgerton's since her own parents were too busy up in Scotland to come down to celebrate.

Her parents were constantly disappointing her. They had barely even acknowledged her since she’d announced her engagement and she was tired of being ignored.

Y/N walked into the drawing room of Bridgerton House, a fake smile on her face.

“Y/N!” Hyacinth squealed, running up to her future sister-in-law and hugging her.

“Hello, Hyacinth,” Y/N said, returning her hug.

"I thought your parents were coming," Anthony said, noticing Y/N's lack of escort. His brow furrowed in concern as he noticed Y/N’s forced smile.

"They are in Scotland," Y/N replied, sitting down on the sofa and sighing. "They are too busy with my sister's horse riding competition to bother coming down to celebrate."

Y/N was trying to hide her upset about being forgotten by her parents. It wasn't the first time it had happened and it probably wouldn't be the last. Y/N's sister was their dream child - the talented one who would probably be the diamond of whatever year she decided to make her debut in.

Y/N's own debut had been almost ruined by her parents. Her grandfather had died two days before she'd been due to be presented to the queen and her parents and vanished overnight to Cornwall, leaving Y/N behind with no one to present her or accompany her to the ball.

Which was when Colin had stepped in. They'd found each other out in Hyde Park where Y/N had gone to escape her house and by the time they'd walked back to Bridgerton House, Colin had decided that Y/N was worthy of so much more than what her parents were giving her.

"Anthony!" Colin yelled, as soon as he walked inside the front door of Bridgerton house. "Anthony!"

"Colin, be quiet, it is fine," Y/N said, hitting his arm not too gently.

"No, it is not fine," Colin replied, his usual cheeky grin absent. "This is one of the most important days in your life and they have just left you! Anthony!"

"Colin, will you stop yelling!" Y/N hissed, noticing the staff giving them both bizarre looks.

Colin didn't listen. "ANTH - oh, there you are."

Anthony Bridgerton all but ran down the stairs, panic on his face. "What, who is injured?"

"No one," Colin replied, frowning. "What made you think that?"

"You yelling, probably," Y/N muttered, yelping as Colin elbowed her.

Anthony sighed and closed his eyes in despair. "Colin,” Anthony said slowly, looking up “what do you want?"

Colin shoved Y/N forward, the woman almost falling into Anthony at the sudden shove. She shot Colin a glare but he ignored it, putting his hands on her shoulders and spinning her back to face Anthony.

"Y/N, here. Our wonderful, amazing Y/N, has been abandoned by her parents. They will not be able to present her to the queen in two day's time nor will they be able to escort her to the ball. Therefore, I was wondering if you and mother could do it."

Y/N looked up at Anthony. She'd known him since she was eight and the Viscount had become a parental figure in her life, replacing the lacklustre figure that was her actual father. But asking him and his mother to present her to the queen was a massive ask.

Anthony's eyes softened as he looked down at Y/N. He put a hand on her shoulder and nodded. "Of course we can. Come upstairs, Y/N, Eloise will be very annoyed if she finds out you stopped by and did not say hello. We can talk more then."

Y/N took Anthony's arm and let him walk her up the stairs. She glanced behind her and mouthed a thank you to Colin who sent her a smile and a thumbs up.

Anthony gestured to the sofa next to Eloise and Y/N blinked, suddenly remembering where she was.

"So, your parents are continuing the standard they set when they did not turn up to your debut, then?" Eloise asked, moving up as Y/N sat down next to her. She offered the tin of sweets she was holding out to her.

"Please, do not remind me," Y/N muttered, taking a red sweet. "Thank you, again, for saving me," Y/N said, looking up at Anthony and Violet. "Truly."

"Do not worry about it, my dear," Violet replied, waving her off. "Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?"

"If you do not - Colin, what on earth?"

Y/N stared at Colin, who was struggling to hold a large bouquet of roses, hyacinths, elderflowers and daisies, with a perplexed look.

"Happy birthday!" He exclaimed, setting them on the table in front of her.

Y/N leant back to avoid being poked in the eye by a branch of elderflower. "I..."

Colin's face fell. "You hate them, I can tell. I was not sure how big was too big or how many flowers to include -"

"Colin, I love it," Y/N said, cutting him off. "I just was not... expecting anything."

Colin smiled down at her. "I could not remember which flower was your favourite out of them," he said, fiddling with a daisy, "but I remembered you liked how purple contrasts with blue and how yellow breaks the colours up like it does in a sunset. Specifically -"

"The Athens sunset of July 1814," Y/N said softly, remembering every single detail of that letter.

Colin's description of the sunset had stuck with her ever since. He'd described it in so much detail she'd felt as if she'd been sat next to him on the beach.

Her birthday flowers had only been the start. Colin seemed to remember every passage that had transported her, every sentence that had made her envy his freedom, every word Y/N had felt connected to and turned it into affection and gifts.

He made her feel wanted and loved when her own parents forgot about her or dismissed her. Whenever she cried he picked her up and read from his journals to distract her. Every single ball he would compare her dress to a sunset he'd seen and Y/N would just listen in awe as the words flowed like a song.

And then he had actually written her a song and had gotten it performed at the opera and Y/N had fallen head over heels in love with him. Colin had proposed to her that night and Y/N hadn’t hesitated before saying yes.

Colin had began leaving notes around her house, counting down to their wedding day. They’d come accompanied by flowers or little presents and even watercolours of her favourite places. Y/N kept them all in a box under her bed, hidden away from her parents who, if she was honest, didn’t really care about Y/N’s wedding or her successful match.

Her parents lack of interest in her or her wedding hurt. Y/N was hoping that her match to Colin would have at least perked something inside them but all she’d received was stoney silence and her father telling her that they couldn’t make it. He didn’t say why they couldn’t make it, just that they couldn’t make it.

“Hey, are you alright?” Colin asked quietly, nudging Y/N’s arm.

Y/N turned her head to look at Colin, realising that he’d evicted Eloise off the sofa and taken her place. Benedict and Anthony were both looking over at them with matching looks of concern but Y/N focused on Colin and nodded. “I am fine, Colin. I am simply thinking.”

“Well, we all know how dangerous that is for you, my love,” Colin replied teasingly, winking at her. His smile faded as he noticed her solemn expression. “Come on, tell me what is wrong.”

“My parents,” Y/N said quietly. “They... well, you know what they do to me. They have said that they are not coming to the wedding and have not even acknowledged me since we got engaged. They do not even acknowledge my birthday and I just -” Y/N cut herself off with a hefty sigh and dropped her head onto Colin’s shoulder. “I am so tired of them.”

Colin rested his head on top of Y/N’s and held her hand. “I know you are, darling. I am sorry they are not better parents. But,” he lifted his head up and gently tilted Y/N’s chin up, “you do not have to worry about them anymore. My family is your family, Y/N.”

Anthony, who had been listening to every word, spoke up. “Y/N, I will happily walk you down the aisle if you do not want your parents there.”

Y/N nodded and smiled, feeling tears burning her eyes. “Thank you, Anthony.”

Anthony could read her like a book and got up, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I promise you, I will not let them ruin your day.”

Y/N nodded. “I know, Anthony, thank you.”

Colin nudged her. “See, I told you. Besides, I do not believe that Hyacinth will let you go anywhere without her. You are a Bridgerton now.”

Y/N smiled sadly and kissed him on the cheek. “I cannot wait to marry you, Colin Bridgerton.”

“I cannot wait to marry you either, Y/N Bridgerton,” Colin replied with a smile.

#colin bridgerton #Bridgerton #bridgerton imagines #bridgerton imagine #colin bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton imagine #imagine

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kallulovesu · 3 years

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Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺

For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3

(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭

That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™

It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.

So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.

You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.

Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.

Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.

It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.

Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.

He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.

Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!

He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”

On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.

Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.

This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.

A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!

Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?

He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.

Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.

Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!

But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!

He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.

Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.

His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.

Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.

Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!

Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.

Ivan appreciated you a lot.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.

So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.

#help me why do I always write america this dramatically #dilf France? 😲#CANADAS PART IS SO SHORT IM SORRYYYY #yandere #Yandere hetalia #hetalia x reader #Yandere allies #Yandere aph america #Yandere aph france #Yandere aph england #Yandere aph canada #Yandere aph China #yandere aph Russia #platonic yandere #platonic Yandere hetalia

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