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isabellehemlock · 1 year

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Sabbatical Reflections

For those who might have been around last summer, I shared that I was going on a personal sabbatical last year, and I wanted to share that it officially ended on Sunday. I’ve spent quite a bit of time, especially in the last few weeks, in an introspective state as I contemplated a few statements:

What did I learn? How did I grow?

What did I shed? What did I pick up?

What do I want to apply to irl, and/or fandom spaces moving forward?

And then in the last week I really hunkered down, typing out paragraphs after paragraphs, starting over no less than four times and even including quotes and graphics as I tried to piece together what I really wanted to convey to both loved ones and friends (I can’t even make this up: that doc is legit, 4.6k words holy heck) okrrr . . . so highlights:

But also quick trigger warnings for anyone reading: I can appreciate grief is a sensitive subject, and I promise no big details, outside of like “matter-of-fact” references to cause of death (but no descriptions, names, ages, etc), but yes, there are several references to loss in this post, as well as references to religion (vague) and medical conditions (again, vague). Just wanted to provide a heads up, in case anyone would like to skip.

I shed forty hours a month of community volunteer work last fall. Some roles I had picked up years and years ago, before various chronic health issues got worse, and new diagnosis’ were given to several family members. One role, for example, was supposed to be annual, and I had been doing it for five years, so I was definitely overdue for a break and I was grateful that everyone was very understanding with worsening health issues that it sadly just wasn’t going to be an option for me in the foreseeable future to do scheduled, physical, activities on any kind of consistent basis.

Which meant I now had more free time to spend quality family time, as well as a more balanced half and half routine navigating the (now on average) 25 medical appointments a month our family has, with several creative outlets, and family time (yay!)

Made final promises in August, as a Lay Dominican after four and a half years of study (my religious name in the order is St. Mary Magdalene <3)

Unfortunately a month into the sabbatical, we learned my mother needs a transplant - we did testing in January, and are getting a second opinion next week! (Feel free to send prayers!)

I opened up a small server space for myself and friends (it’s my happy place).

Joined a few fandom events that have been going well, and just adore helping bring someone's vision to life, and bonus if it's raising money for charity!

Saw my art in print for the very first time by getting to co-organize the @lmzine

Bought my first fandom merch!

Launched the @iwtvbigbang and am so grateful for a lovely mod team, and wonderful, creative participants ✨️

Made my first fandom merch sales (yes, plural!)

But also on an emotionally heavy note: in January, there was a criminal trial (more on that below), and a custody hearing trial in February (also more on that below) for our extended family.

And all in all, about a month’ worth of illness’, colds and viruses when you stack them all together over the months.

Some relationships shifted and I had a better understanding about myself and the lessons I learned along the way.

Though I’ll talk about it more in a week, I hope to expand my art even more this year, but details to follow 😎

So basically, NO BORING moments, that’s for sure! 😅

Okay but what did I take away from all this? What did I learn, and want to apply to my future?

I know I have been very intentional when it comes to my relationships. And what I mean by that is to essentially not do anything half assed lol. I jump in, and want to treasure what I have in front of me while it’s there - I feel the impermanence of time on a deep, core level, and that’s because of both my own chronic health issues, as well as several losses. Time is a gift.

For example - summer, especially August is a hard time in our household, because of several grief anniversaries:

August 2003 - my father had his TBI

August 2010 - a friend from high school got in a car accident, was in a coma for several months before passing away

August 2011 - a family member died by suicide

August 2011 - though we wouldn’t know it until September, our first baby died during the first trimester

July 2018 - a family member was murdered - the killer accepted, then refuted several plea deals, and his trial was this January, he received 45 years. This family member’s child has been living with his grandparents ever since, and officially, permanent custody has been transferred to them as of February, much to everyone’s joy.

And that’s just the grief aspect, that’s not even going into other kinds of personal trauma - oof. But hopefully that helps provide some context as to why I really, really, really like to convey how I feel about people while I have them in front of me. I mean it sincerely, but can appreciate if some might be weary and wonder if it’s love bombing :p Nah - I just value it while I got it, and try to show my appreciation while I can <3

I have a lot of love to give, and I want to ensure that the people I care about know it, too, regardless of how short or long we are in each other’s lives. We don’t own one another, we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow, and hey, if the vibes don’t match, that’s alright - life’s too short! Aging is a privilege we don’t all get! Let’s make the most of it with the people we do vibe with, who bring us joy in their own unique ways. No one person can be the person for us, and in a way, that’s because we have to stop treating each other like we need each other to be complete.

You are a complete and wonderful soul all on your own - the people in your life should be the ones who want you in theirs, who you want in yours, because of joy and happiness and fun and good times and compassion and empathy and authenticity and vulnerability. I hope you find the people who root for you and your individual growth, who encourage you along the way, and you do the same for them.

So what does this mean for me as I apply the word “intention” further down the line?

As I’ve shared, I’ve done fairly well with labeling my intentions right away, what I’m here for in online spaces - community and connection - what I enjoy (a sort of reverse DNI if you will lol) - core parts of myself (which isn’t to limit who I engage with, but to be honest and forthcoming, to spark that conversation and see if there’s overlap between us, if there’s things we both might enjoy as we move forward and explore friendships - I love meeting people I might not have otherwise met from all across the world, and am so grateful for them and their ability to help expand my perspectives). And I can honestly say there’s a chunk of friends I’ve maintained years’ worth of friendships with where we haven’t read, reblogged, or commented on each other’s creations lol, or ones I talk to about irl stuff vs fandom, or ones where we enjoy events together, etc etc, it’s a big ol variety and I love that!

But as I shed things, as I carefully calculated my time and energy and reflected on how I spent it before my sabbatical and during, I realized I need to also apply that word “intention” to myself and my time and efforts. Especially in situations where I come to learn someone doesn’t have the same intentions as I do. It’s important for my own mental health not to outright dismiss the impact hurtful words and comments might have on me, but it’s equally important for me to embrace that I am worth more than spending my precious time and energy proving I am a good person to some people who have developed a derogatory narrative in their minds based on false assumptions. I’m just going to keep on shining where I can, take it or leave it, but negative commentary (especially when I ask for clarification in a gentle, genuinely curious kind of way to encourage open dialogue, only to be met with dismissive, or even negative justifications) is the quickest way for me to be done.

I don’t do subtext. I don’t do name calling. No longer asking for permission to exist in a public space with anyone (because that only implies it was up to someone else to decide where I am allowed to be in the first place). Fuck that noise.

Sure, in shared spaces, there’s pre-agreed upon rules - basic civility, kindness, and compromises made along the way like in any relationship to ensure not a single solitary vision pummels over decent people. We all got our social contracts, and I’m just as accountable as the next person. No one is above, or below, anyone else - equality for all, including myself. It is not my role in life to be the emotional punching bag for anyone to learn how to practice communicating when they don’t know how to regulate their own emotions first. Just because I have de-escalating training does not mean that I should have to apply it online, for free, in fandom spaces, meant to enrich my life in social and creative ways.

I’m gonna herp derp in my corner, enjoying some crack humor, and PG level of chaos.

I’m gonna draw everything from niche art, to NSFW art, to religious art.

I’m gonna encourage events where people from all over can gather together and root for each other’s creativity. I'm gonna participate in ones where I help bring someone's vision to life in collaborative efforts that hopefully help someone feel seen and heard and brings joy.

I’m gonna do everything I can to participate, create, and nurture spaces where the weirdo besties assemble. Where cringe culture is dead. Where being different isn’t a justification for being othered, but in fact, something to cheer on.

And that’s what I’ve learned in my sabbatical: that my intentions are deeper than I realized, and that my time and efforts are of value, too. That I will continue to pour into the relationships where it is reciprocated to the best of the other person's ability. I’m going to intentionally invest my time and energy into the people who want that out of their fandom spaces, too.

But the rest? The rest is just noise that was never meant for me in the first place. Wish the stranger on the internet well, and move forward with the people who want to invest intentionally with me, too <3

For those who have helped me better understand this about myself along the way, thank you.

#personal tag #sabbatical

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clouds-rambles · 3 years

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Ah yay! I'm so glad you'll do poly head-canons. Weird ot3 but for TartagliaxReaderxLisa? As someone that is hella bi and super into the teasing flirty types they both live in my mind rent free. Thank you in advance. You are lovely!

This is such an odd pairing omg I kinda love it

Takes place while Lisa is a Sumeru university + Childe is there. I’m pretending I can make things make sense. Cloud makes university au time lmao

Pairings; (Polyam) Childe x Lisa x reader

Warning(s); fluff

Keep reading under the cut!

Childe’s love language is gift giving. Childe will often share gifts with the two of you, both you and Lisa have a larger than life collection of gifts.

Lisa’s love language is quality time be it from the three of you lounging about your student house or drinking tea at the tea house on campus

Your love language primarily manifests in physical touch. You are constantly touching at least on of your lovers be it holding hands while you’re walking thorough campus to when you’re all sat down you’ll lounge on both your lovers

When Lisa is busy with classes you and Childe will make a lunch for the tree of you to share

The three of you technically have a bed each just in case one (or all) want a bed to yourselves the odd night or so

When Childe is busy out of Sumeru with fatui work you and Lisa always prepare a welcome back party, be it with just the two of you or a collection of friends

Out of the tree of you you’re the easiest to fluster. Childe and Lisa will take turns flirting and making suggestive comments. It’s always a challenge to see who gets playfully punched first

You love to take on Childe in spars, not only does it help with staying physically fit but having combat knowledge is always a help when you guys get cornered by treasure hoarders and hilichurls

You don’t have the brain for it but you surely try your best when Lisa teaches you about potions and lets you help make her potions

Your thing is making art. In whatever sense ranging from making baked goods to creating oil paintings. Both Lisa and Childe take interest in it and weekends after exams are often filled with laughter and art

When it is exam season Lisa often hides herself in the library while you hide away in the art studios. If Childe isn’t sent away on fatui missions he’ll often drop in on the both of you with lunches and small gifts to get you both through the day

Despite the fact the three of you often sleep in the same bed you all have varying sleep schedules, Lisa is likely to be in bed first and you’re often the last in bed sometimes with a gap as large as 5 hours between them. Childe always wakes up at the break of dawn, and unless you or Lisa have lectures waking up about 10am is the norm for you.

You have a collection of stuffed toys that are just littered around the house for great napping literally everywhere.

You love it when you can sit between the thighs of either one of your lovers. Extra points to them if they run their hands through your hair. Feels great

Lisa calling both you and Childe cuties and then both you and Childe picking it up now everyone calls everyone cuties

“Has anyone seen my lucky pair of boxers” “Sorry Tart I ran out of pannies” “You’ve been out of panties for 3 days, you keep stealing mine”

Clothes sharing to the extreme to the point that all your wardrobes have pretty much merged bar a small handful of clothes. “Is that my shirt” “Dunno, found it in the wardrobe”

You guys love packing a picnic basket for dinner and finding a nice cliff to eat food on.

You all speak fondly of home, whatever country it may be, and you all contemplate where you’d go after the Sumeru chapter of your life is over

When you’re at home you like to send letters back to Sumeru with random things that you’ve encountered and done while you’ve been back

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #polyam #lisa x reader #childe x reader #lisa x childe #genshin lisa #genshin childe #lisa #childe

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op-sheepy · 3 years

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ok so I'm particularly interested in

Bellamy Law

Law and Bible stuff

Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

shichibukai applications

reverse hanahaki disease (?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

if you feel like elaborating on any of these!

This is gonna get long and I actually contemplated posting them separately but would that have been more work? Yeah, that felt like more work so for anyone interested, check under the cut. :D

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Bellamy Law

Hm… This would be an attempt to explore the parallels and contrasts between Bellamy and Law. I've always found it fascinating that the former was a foil to the latter.

They both come from well-off towns in the North Blue.

Bellamy left because of boredom. Law had no choice because Flevance.

Both ended up seeking Doflamingo because of his notoriety as a pirate. Both admired him initially

Doffy favored one over the other though. Bellamy always sought his approval but was never really part of the inner circle Doflamingo cared about.

Law got the dubious privilege of being part of the family despite being absent for so long. Even offered one of the highest seats by Doffy's side for seemingly nothing.

Law had no trouble turning his back on Doffy once he realized the man's nature. Bellamy tried to stick to his principles until the end despite admitting that he new he was wrong.

Bellamy can (and did) quit piracy after his ordeal with Doflamingo. Having the option to live peacefully, perhaps a return to his previous life (the one he considered boring). Law can't do that quite as easily what with his Devil fruit and his reputation.

I thought it would be interesting trying to explore what Bellamy was thinking. Did he hear the Donquixote Pirates talk about their missing 'family'? Did he get to see Doffy be amused at Law's rise as a Supernova while he kept being reminded of his own status? Did Law save Bellamy partially because he also saw what he could have been had Corazon not saved him?

On principle, Bellamy should have hated Trafalgar Law. Does. Bastard even saved him without him wanting it. But there was something about the shadows haunting those eyes and Bellamy started to wonder.

He had heard the family talk about Law before. The child personally taught by Doflamingo, chosen to be his right hand. Never was he compared to the man because Law was just obviously better. Smarter. Stronger. Bellamy was ever just an uncouth thug.

He was allowed to 'borrow' Doflamingo's symbol while Law had an empty seat waiting for his return–a seat Bellamy had wanted enough to risk everything for.

Maybe he had resented, Trafalgar Law for carelessly rejecting the things he had that Bellamy had always desired. In the end too, Trafalgar Law did prove to be better. He'd done as a child what Bellamy had trouble doing even as he was now.

But having been given the chance to observe the other man as they all recovered, he wondered, perhaps for the first time, whether despite Law being better than Bellamy, Bellamy had had it better–barring the poor life choices.

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Law and Bible stuff

This is just me wanting to know how many biblical parallels and themes I can draw from Law, the Donquixote brothers, the characters associated with them, and his backstory. Honestly not sure whether this would become a fic and in what style or I'm gonna give up and just make it a post.

Not gonna elaborate on them much but here are the ideas in more bullet points (yay):

Law gets familiar with all four horsemen of the apocalypse: conquest, war, famine, and death. He even survives them.

Law is like the son in the parable of the prodigal son to the Donquixote pirates. Except the themes are inverted.

Doflamingo and Rocinante -> Cain and Abel

Ope Ope no Mi -> Granting eternal life by sacrificing one's own life

Gods descending or living among humans. Also, Homing and his family being prosecuted for other people's sins.

That scene where they were hanged by their arms outstretched looks like a crucifixion. Also, Rocinante was on the right while Doflamingo was on the left. Similar to how the penitent thief was on the right and the unrepentant one to the left.

Flevance being considered a paradise with walls/fences/gates and somewhere Law cannot return to.

In the panel where the Donquixote pirates are seated at the table, there were thirteen of them with Doffy at the center. Same as The Last Supper

There are a lot more of these (David and Goliath, Solomon, Jonah, Job, etc.) but I kinda lost the notes and some are more visual so I can't really explain it too well. This would is a drabble series to emphasize or highlight the parallels so no proper snippet for this one.

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Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

Originally an idea to get around most of the Heart Pirates being nameless but evolved to include other characters as kids. Chopper is a kindergarten teacher and he convinces Law to take over his class for a week because somehow Law has the qualifications to and free time. Naturally, he wasn't able to say no.

Unfortunately, despite not being terrible at handling children, Chopper's class is filled with menaces. Also, despite not being terrible, Law can still be awkward so...

"Mr. Trofao–fargar—"

"Trafalgar."

The kid—which one was this one again? Shit, he should really get them name plates or something—scrunched up his face and tried harder, "Tar-pal—"

"Law. Just call me Law."

"Mr. Low"—eh, close enough—"can I go to the bathroom?" Wide imploring eyes stared up at him.

"Sure, go ahead." Law gestured towards the exit of the classroom with his head.

The kid just stared expectantly at him and he tried to suppress the need to narrow his eyes.

"Is there… anything else?"

"Mr. Chopper always comes with me to hold my hand."

Really?

"Mr. Chopper isn't here. You should practice doing it on your own now." He said after a deep inhale.

"But the monsters might get me…"

"No, they won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do." Before the kid could open his mouth again to argue, he added, "Besides, children taste terrible so you're safe."

The kid looked stricken and took a step back from him. Uh oh. Glistening eyes, wobbling lower lip… "Alright! I'll go with you." The kid did not look reassured. In fact he looked like going alone with Law was the last thing he wanted to do. Guess, he kinda implied that he ate children didn't he? Oops.

Well, the kid needs to go and he's not going to be cleaning up after him if he wets himself.

Law glanced at the rest of the children. It was Arts and Craft time and they seemed preoccupied enough. Still, Law doubted Chopper ever left these kids alone–already he could see some of them glancing up at him, waiting for him to leave no doubt to cause trouble. That Monkey kid in particular looked extremely suspicious.

He stood up from his crouch and clapped twice to get everyone's attention.

"Alright. Fall in line. Single file."

There was some grumbling and questioning directed at him. "What's going on?"

Law shrugged. "You're all going to the bathroom."

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Shichibukai Application Forms

Crackfic where the World Government and relevant parties review various Shichbukai Applications. Most submitted by the pirates applying themselves, some produced by their own staff. They discuss and debate. As well as judge pirate resumes.

She scanned the document. Terrible format, really. If you fail to impress within the first page, you've failed entirely. There just wasn't anyone promising enough in this batch of applications or any of the other ones before. The last one had been that clown. "Apprentice to the Pirate King," was a pretty hefty credential.

"Oh, how about this one? Three years experience pillaging, and they even listed all the towns they looted." One of the newly transferred administrative staff said.

"None of these are worth considering at all. You know, when Mihawk was asked to submit his application, he hadn't bothered with all of this. He just sent us a card with his name on it and the title "World's Strongest Swordsman," underneath."

The staff perked up. "Oh, there was an application like that." There was scramble and some shuffling before a plain white card was produced. "Here."

"'From Trafalgar Law'. What does this even mean?"

"Well, it did come with a big box..."

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Reverse Hanahaki Disease

(?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

Haha. At first it was going to be that way (because it is hilarious) but the inflicted would probably choke to death too soon. Or if both enemies had it, they'd end up just coughing flowers at each other until they stopped being enemies.

The version I ended up going with was that this variant of Hanahaki, instead of afflicting those with unrequited love, affected those in denial instead. The reverse part comes from the original idea that this would usually happen if you somehow fell in love with your nemesis (someone you originally hated). So it's not the thought that the other person can't love you, it's that you can't accept that you love that other person. You get cured by confessing to the person sincerely.

This is actually another KidLaw (surprise!). And the flower coughed up directly represents the person they're in love with (I went with Oda's flower representation for them because I found it funny for plot)

So the idea is that, you get sick but you don't automatically know (maybe) who it is because that's part of being in denial. Kid and Law have many enemies after all. In this story they both get it though not exactly at the same time and not known to the other.

He survived Amber Lead Syndrome only to be killed off by a stupid flower disease that apparently knows more about his own feelings than he does.

He glared at the petals. Tulips. Red.

An image of a cocky grin and a shock of red hair flashed through his mind and—nope. That's not right.

He coughed harder, tears stinging his eyes with the effort. More flowers. Now he has enough for a bouquet.

Alright, he was a doctor. He could do this. Differential time.

First, which variant does he have. He doesn't particularly feel unloved or hopeless. There wasn't anyone he wanted in particular to love him. Ok, nothing. It was maybe safe to say he had that other variant.

Which was stupid because Law had many enemies and he hated all of them.

And cue the racking coughs. More red. He was very familiar with that particular shade.

New theory. This was a new variant that somehow makes you sick when you think of the person you hated the most.

Yes, that had to be it. He thought as he all but collapsed on the floor from the sudden paroxysm.

I knew this was gonna get long. :) Oh well...

Thank you for playing. :D

#One Piece #One piece fanfiction #wip game #trafalgar law #donquixote brothers #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote roci #donquixote homing #donquixote pirates #one piece bellamy #bellamy the hyena #eustass kid #kidlaw #trafalgar d water law

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yaneyanedaze · 4 years

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My Special Girl Pt: 1

(Yandere!Various x Beta!Chubby!Reader)

Whoo boy, it’s my first time taking a step into the realm of Omegaverse, but i hope you guys like it, I am working on My Android Lover and Our Goddess (Which is the Royal Pillarmen story!) those should be coming soon as well! I’m happy to write for you guys and I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

With that! On with the story!

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F/n is a college student with a little problem, She’s a beta that apparently give off the scent of an Omega. So when she finally goes out one day, her life gets turned upside down as multiple Alpha’s try to claim her as theirs.

Will she tell them the truth? or let them find out on their own?

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“Come on f/n, you never go out with me anymore? Are you alright?” My friend, Crys (Pronounced Chris) asked. I shook my head, sighing heavily, already knowing where this conversation was going. I stood up from the table and headed to leave, not wanting to be apart of this. “Hey wait up! F/n!” She whined, following after me, “Is this because of-“ “Do not. Mention. His. Name.” I practically growled, anger dripping from each word that left my lips. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked down at the ground, kicking dirt around.

“Come on, that was in the past. We’re in college now!” I rolled my eyes and continued walking on, more annoyed than ever now. “Look, I’ll think about it, Now go please..” I said, as I was now standing in front of my apartment. Her look of somberness quickly turned to glee as she practically bounced with joy. “Yay! You won’t regret it f/n!” “I haven’t agreed yet- annnd she’s gone.”

I watched as she happily skipped away, I shake my head, a ghost of a smile appearing on my face. Walking inside, I was greeted to the cold, crisp air, I could feel the goosebumps already on my skin from the nice, relaxing feeling. My name is F/n L/n, I am a plus size girl in her 3rd year in college, majoring in fine arts, I have two sisters who live with my parents still back in (Hometown). My sisters are both Omegas, as well as my mother, and of course my father is an Alpha, but me?

I got unlucky and ended up being a Beta and because of this they basically shunned me, even though I was the baby of the family. They didn’t want anyone to know that I was apart of their family. Then again, she didn’t like me anyways because i was a bit on the plump side, I had a chest, curves and a butt, so i guess i had everything that she wanted. She used to call me names, pick on me because of my weight and even my sisters joined in on it, while my dad just sat and watched. So I eventually ended up moving away to go and live with my Grandmother. She was a beta as well, so I don’t understand why my Mom hated me so much when her mother was the very thing I am. My Grandma loved me and cared about me, she bought me anything i’d like, make sure i was happy and never judged me . Soon she knew I was going to be heading off soon so she helped me get my own little apartment and car for school. I still visit her when ever i can.

My friend Crys was also an Omega, I don’t even know why she bothered because she was kind of considered the top tier of the school. But she’s been by my side since elementary school (minus..that incident.) and has been a huge sweetheart.

But again, it sucked.

Crys wanted me to go to a party on campus, but I usually don’t do well at parties, cause you know anxiety is a thing, and why go be social when you have Netflix. I groaned loudly “Why musty I have such a soft spot for that girl!!” I yelled out as I dragged myself to my room to get ready when I get a call from my best friend, Reimi. She was a sweet girl with bubblegum pink hair and big redish/pink eyes, She’s another friend that I’ve known for years, and I’m a lot closer to her than I am with Crys.

“N/n! I heard you were going to the party! Someone must’ve black mailed you into going” She jokingly, I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly as I roamed through my closet looking for something to put on. “Oh shush! Crys persuaded me to go with her puppy dog eyes.” I explained getting a soft ‘Oh’ from her. “Well I was just calling to see, I’m not going do to exams, I gotta crunch that study time” “I understand, I just wish I would stay home but I’ve already got an outfit out and Crys is expecting me.” I say pulling out a cute pink dress. It was a bodycon dress with slits on the sides and a sweetheart neckline, i smiled and shrugged, tossing over on the bed so I could wear it. It was a gift from my grandmother one year for my birthday. “Well, let me go so you can finish getting dressed! See Ya!” “See ya Reim” She hung up the phone and i headed over to the bathroom to freshen up and finish up.

I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror as I walked past, Even after all these years, I was still having a problem with loving myself. I guess my mom really did affect me more than i thought she was going to, I shook my head and slapped my cheeks.”Come on You’re gonna have fun tonight!” I say hyping myself up before i go in the bathroom to get ready.

(TimeSkip)

It was around 8:00pm when Crys and I pull up at the party, It was being hosted by one of the most popular boys of the school, Joseph Joestar, and of course, he was an Alpha. It’s probably the only reason Cyrs wanted to go to be honest. Speaking of the red head, she was wearing a pretty blue tube top with matching skirt, silver hoop earrings and a glittery choker. She wore heels to the party, but i know she had a change of shoes in her bag for when she get tired.

We both got out and she let out an excited squeal, “Yes! Look at us! two friends going out together, come on we’re gonna have fun just like the good old days!” She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. Once we reached inside an overwhelming scent hit me straight in the face, I nearly dropped, but Crys caught me and giggled only making me nudge her as we walked in. We smiled and waved as we saw some of our classmates and some new people as well. But soon we separated as I had gotten tired of walking around already, and I usually didn’t do well in social environments.

I wandered around the large house until i came across a room that looked to be another sitting area, so I found the corner and sat down near it. I apparently didn’t hear the footsteps coming up beside me either.

“Surprised to see you here, F/n, Didn’t think you’d come to parties.”

I jumped slightly in my spot, turned and nearly fainted.

Jotaro Kujo was leaning against the wall behind me. He was one of my classmates, and he really didn’t come to class much, but when he did, you knew. Because majority of the girls would be swooning over him while the poor guy just wanted to rest and do his work. “Ah, I came with a friend, I got a bit tired, So I just came here to rest a bit,” He hummed in agreement as he leaned there. “Joseph made me come, said i needed to get out more, I would’ve been fine with chilling at home reading my marine biology books.” he said letting out a soft chuckle, followed by a ghost of a smile.

I felt like i was living some girls dream, To be sitting here chatting casually here with Jotaro would make them just melt. But to me he was just a normal guy, someone who loved marine biology and all things about the ocean. He was a gentle giant, at least towards me. “Let’s go outside, Its getting too stuffy in here.” He said, grabbing my hand, leading me outside, we pushed past people, saying my excuse me’s when we bumped into people.

Once we reached outside, I looked up at the sky seeing stars in the sky, all of them twinkling brightly, all of them just as beautiful as the next. Jotaro was also looking up at the sky as well, but he looked like he was contemplating something, like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t.

“Jotaro? Are you Okay?”

(Jotaro’s Pov)

I breathed out slowly, gripping my fist as I let out a soft growl. ‘Why can’t i just get this over with.’ I thought to myself, She was standing right beside me. This cute girl, who didn’t find me scary, who didn’t just fawn over me like I was an object. Did she even know what I was? Other would be practically drooling over me, I’ve even had some males fawn over me. I glanced over at her and saw her face in awe looking at the sky. The way the moonlight glossed over her perfectly chubby cheeks, the way that dress hugged her curves and fitted her body in all the right places. If I wasn’t able to control myself I would’ve taken her right here and now, not caring that anyone else would see. They would know she is mine, and no one would dare look at her or try to claim her.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even hear her call my name out.

“Jotaro? Are you Okay?” I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to face her fully, she was about 5′1, so compared to me she was so small, She would fit so perfectly in my arms. I mentally slapped myself and let out a sigh before speaking. “Are you dating anybody?” I asked, and it came out blunt, but i didn’t mean it to, panic started to surge up in me as I didn’t want to come off as rude to her. But she seemed to ignore the tone of my voice and answered anyways with a smile. “Uh..no, I’m not really the dating person, i’ve ever only crushed on one person.” She admitted, a small blush on her face. ‘Thats cute.’ I thought as I watched her. She would be the perfect wife, I could see her swollen and round with my children, welcoming me home from a long day at work. I was happy with the response she said so I couldn’t help but give a slight smirk and a chuckle which seemed to surprise her as I saw another plus appear on her cheeks.

That’s when it hit me, She had a sweet scent to her, one that reminded me of roses and sugar, it gave off such an innocent vibe, not compared to some of these other girls around this place. She did say she’s only liked one person, so maybe that’s why, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it,it was teasing me, she looked to cute and innocent. I shook my head and let out a low growl hoping she didn’t hear, and luckily Joseph came outside just in time to save me from myself.

“There you are! I thought you had left, didn’t know you were out here chatting up this cutie here~!”

He said teasingly. F/n didn’t pay him no mind and neither did I. “Shut up, are you done hoeing around?” I asked, now standing in front of F/n. He smirked and laughed at my comment before throwing an arm around my shoulder. “I wouldn’t call it that, I was just looking for a girl~, but to answer your questions, no, I didn’t see anyone I like..that is..” He stepped around me and grabbed F/n’s hand.

(Pov Switch)

I jumped slightly when Joseph suddenly grabbed my hand. “You’re such a beautiful sight Baby doll~ How come i have never seen you around?~” He asked and I was about to answer until Jotaro practically growled at him. “Okay Okay jeez, i’ll back off for now~” He said, getting the hint. he scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to me before heading back into the house. He was gone as quickly as he came, i looked down at the paper in my hand and saw it was his phone number with hearts beside it. I rolled my eyes and giggled slightly.

“Don’t pay attention to him, thats how he always acts around girls he doesn’t know” Jotaro says before pulling down his hat and handing me his own piece of paper. I looked at it and saw it had his number on it but a date on it as well. “That day, after class, be ready we’re going out.” he said bluntly and walked back inside. I was in shock, so i didn’t immediately follow him. I had gotten two numbers in one night, both of them guys that all the girls loved. Needless to say, I didn’t know whether to be scared or excited, but i felt something.

I just didn’t know what.

I eventually walked around to the front to find Crys waiting on me. She smiled at me and started talking as we walked to the car. “Soo~ Did you have fun~?” She asked getting over into the drivers side. I nodded slightly, a smile growing on my lips, “yea..I did..” I said as I looked out the window, thinking about Jotaro, and excited for the next few days.

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I hope you guys liked this, as i stated above this is my first time really writing something like this and i also hope that i didn’t write Jotaro and Joseph too OOC, if i did let me know and i’ll try to fix it!

#JJBA #yandere jjba #yandere jojo #yandere Jotaro #jotaro x reader #yandere jotaro x reader #Jotaro Kujo #Joseph Joestar #joseph joestar x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #yandere jojos bizarre adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #yane writes #omegaverse

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hateswifi · 4 years

Text

Jasonette July: Children

Day ten of being committal, I love this one so much. Also not even gonna try sleepin on time. It’s either no sleep or post late.

The Master: Master List

Jasonette July: Master List

---------------------------------

He didn’t know what to expect at the age of twenty when he heard crying from an alley while on patrol. What he didn’t expect to find was a crying raven-haired baby. His heart melted, maybe its because he saw himself in her or maybe because she is an abandoned baby. The next thing he knew, he was running back to the manor holding a now more calm baby.

“Hey, Brucie! I know you always have those adoption papers on hand, can I have a pack?” Jason says, walking into Bruce’s office.

“Please tell me I’m dreaming, you’re adopted, my adoption dis- habits shouldn’t affect you,” Bruce says, looking up from his work.

“Wait, I’m adopted, I’m so hurt…” Jason says, putting the back of his hand on his head.

“Stop being dramatic, I’ll give you the papers if you show me my grandchild,” Bruce says, opening his desk draw.

“I don’t know her name, but I would love to call her Maria-Angelina, after my grandmother,” Jason said, showing off his soon-to-be daughter. It was at that moment she starts crying. Not even two minutes later, Damian and Alfred burst into the room.

“Another one Father?”

“Master Bruce, I have always supported you, but another one?”

“No, this one isn’t mine, she is Jason’s.” Bruce smiled, standing up to walk around his desk.

“Alfred, I would like you to meet your great-granddaughter and Damian your niece, Maria-Angelina,” Jason says, holding her out.

“She is beautiful,” Alfred says, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face.

Jason loved his daughter even though she was not his biological daughter. As Maria grew older she realized she was missing something, more like someone. Her dad did everything for her, she loved him and he did everything her could to make her happy. But even at the age of eight, she knew her dad was missing someone as well.

It was when she wandered away from dad while they were at the mall did she realize who she was missing and she found it in a dark-haired woman. She was beautiful. She was on the phone when the woman noticed her standing by herself. She puts her phone away and approaches her.

She crouches down to her height and asks “Are you lost, little miss?”

“Hi, yeah, I’m missing my dad,” She says slowly.

“Hi, my name is Marinette, would you like me to help you find your father? Or would you like me to walk you to security?”

“Could you help me find him?”

“Sure, what does he look like? Is your mom here too?”

“I don’t have a mom.”

“Oh I’m sorry, honey,” Marinette says, squeezing her shoulder.

“It’s fine, I never had one,” Maria says with a shrug. “My dad is tall, he has dark hair with a white patch on the front of his head. He has blue eyes, he big and awesome!”

“Where did you last see him?”

“We were at the book store.”

“Let’s head there then,” Marinette says, standing with a smile. They go down the escalator and walk to the book store. “What do you like to read?”

“I like Charlotte’s Web!” She smiles.

“That’s good.”

“What do you do? My daddy helps with my grandpa’s business,” She smiles, looking up at the pretty woman.

“I design clothes,” Marinette smiles, looking through the aisles for anyone meeting the little girl’s description.

“Oh! That’s so cool! Did you make your dress?”

“Yes, have you seen your dad?”

“Not yet,” She sighs.

“What’s you favorite subject?”

“I love English and art class!” she exclaims, rocking on her feet.

“Ok well, it doesn’t look like he’s here, we should go to security,” Marinette says.

“Aww… I’m having fun with you though,” Maria sighs and hangs her head.

“Well, we still have to walk there and wait for your dad,” Marinette points out as they leave the bookstore. The approach the map and Marinette listens to the girl’s chatter as she looks for the lost child area. Third floor.

“Ready? We’re heading up to the third floor,” Marinette smiles toward the little girl. “Do you know your dad’s name.

“Umm…. Jason Todd I think,” She contemplates.

“Ok, we’ll tell the people who find parent,” Marinette says, as they step onto the elevator. There was a small back and forth conversation and all too soon, they reach the lost child area. “Hello, this is a lost child, she says her father’s name is Jason Todd, would you be able to call him?”

“Jason Todd, please report to security, we’ve found your missing daughter,” a voice comes over the loudspeaker. They continue their conversation until a big man bursts into the room. The little girl jumps up and rushes to hug him.

“Maria-Angelina Catherine Todd! What’ve I told you about wandering off,” He yells, pulling her into a hug.

“Hi, Dad,” Maria says, pulling out of the hug. “This is Marinette! She helped me look for you.” For the first since he entered the room, he looked up and saw the pixie, she was a sight, standing there in her light blue sundress that brings out her eye.

He stands up. “Thank you so much for helping her, I don’t know what would happen if she was hurt or taken,” her dad- Jason- says taking her hand. “Please let us take you out as a thank you.”

“No, I couldn't, I just saw a lost child and helped her,” Marinette shrugs with a smile.

“Please, Marinette,” Maria asks, looking up at her with puppy dog eye.

“You have better puppy dog eye than Manon did,” Marinette giggles.

“Trust me, I know,” Jason chuckles.

“So is that a yes?”

“Fine,” Marinette says reluctantly.

“Yay!” Maria says, turning to rush out of the room.

“Kids huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Got any of your own,” Jason asks, a slight smirk spreading across his face.

“No, I don’t even have a boyfriend, but that beside the point, I use to babysit,” Marinette smiles. “What about you? She said she didn’t have a mom.”

“She’s adopted, I found her in an alleyway,” Jason says quickly.

“That’s sweet of you,” Marinette coos. They walk together to a close-by coffee place. They spend time talking and laughing. They leave saying goodbye to each other.

“Hey, Dad, you know how everyone has a mommy and a daddy?” Maria asks Jason nods in response, already knowing where this conversation was going. “Can she be my mommy?”

“Sweetie, that’s not up to me.”

“Can we see her again?” It was at the moment he realized, he never got her number. The next couple of days, though Jason tried to hide it, Maria could see the loneliness in her dad’s actions and the longing in his eyes.

“Dad, are you ok?”

“Yeah, honey, just a bit tired, just as a heads up we’re going for measurements later today at Grandpa’s house,” Jason says, packing her lunch.

“Ok, Dad,” Maria says, hopping off her stool. As she closes the door to head to the bus stop, she hears him sigh. She wishes she could see Marinette again. She wishes her dad was able to make Marinette her mommy, however that worked.

Her dad picked her up and they head over to the Wayne Manor. She rushes ahead of her dad and bursts into the lobby, “Hi, Grandpa! Hi, Great Grandpa!”

“Hi sweetie, Uncle Damian is getting is measurements taken right now, but you can go in next,” Bruce says.

“Thank you, Grandpa! Will the nice designer make me a pretty dress?” She asks, hugging Bruce.

“Of course I will,” A feminine voice says, coming from the living room. “I’m ready for the princess, as Damian called her.” She giggles.

“Marinette?”

“Maria? Jason? You guys are Waynes? I thought you are Todds,” Marinette asks.

“Well we are, but Wayne is hyphenated,” Jason shrugs. The measurements go well. In Jason’s case really well, he gets a kiss and a date.

They start dating a week later, Maria is really happy, especially a year later when they announce that she’s going to have a baby brother. She was happy before she went wandering off but now she couldn’t be happier, she has a mommy, a dad, and a baby brother on the way. The wedding plans, which she was promised to be the flower girl in, was planned for after the baby’s birth. She loved her family and they loved her.

---------------------------------

Tag List:

@jasonette-july-2k20 @abrx2002 @pawsitivelymiraculous @ironspiderstark@thestressmademedoit @bigpicklebananatree @zalladane

Permanent Tag:

@ash-amg @bee-wrecker @damianette-is-life @mjisntme @i-will-be-your-ace @k-poplunardreams @chocolateherringtacofan @toodaloo-kangaroo @i-is-mysterious @zambie-trashart @imnotfluffy @nanakeid

#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #batfam #ml x dc #jasonettejuly2k 20 #jason todd #jasonette

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thdorkmagnet · 4 years

Text

I Love You 3000

Hey everyone!! Today I bring to you all a short Starco fluff fic, loosely based off of Avengers Endgame.This is also made in collaboration with @phantomnationdraws who drew the amazing piece of art to go along with this!! Please show them some love because there talent knows no limits!! And please enjoy!!

Marco ran up the driveway of his house, panting from exertion as he jogged steadily on the uneven ground, clutching a large box tightly in his hands, making sure not to ruin the steaming hot pizza inside. He didn’t slow for a second, keeping his focus and attention entirely on the front door to his house, which he kicked open without hesitation, lacking the hands to turn the doorknob, already knowing it was left unlocked. After all, any burglar dumb enough to try and break in would find himself biting off way more than he could chew, since both he and Star were well trained in combat.

The red-clad teen was breathing heavily as he stepped into the living room of his wonderful home, the lights all turned off and what had to be at least a dozen candles all lit and scattered about the room, creating an absolutely breathtaking and romantic atmosphere. The boy used the back of his foot to close the door behind him, before calling out loudly to his seemingly empty house, “Star, I’m home!”

Normally, he would keep his voice down this late at night out of fear of waking his family up but both Mariposa and his parents were gone for the night, his sister to stay overnight with her best friend Meteora and his parents away on an overnight camping trip in the Forest of Certain Death with Star’s parents (the four adults becoming very close friends in the few years since the Great Cleaving), leaving the house to just him and Star. Just the way they wanted it.

The boy took a few steps forward, looking around for his girlfriend somewhere in the darkness of the room, only to be practically toppled over as Star appeared out of nowhere and trapped him in a surprise hug. “Marco!” she shouted in delight, squeezing him as tightly as ever, while the hooded teen screamed, holding the box over his head to avoid dropping it as Star continued to cling to his midsection. “I’m so glad you’re back!” the blonde cheered, her voice as bubbly as ever and the boy couldn’t help but grin.

“Yep, I’m back,” Marco said with an enthusiastic smile down at his loving girlfriend. “Sorry it took me so long, Emilio’s was closed after a herd of Snippergriffs apparently got inside, so I had to improvise.”

Star rolled her eyes, finally releasing her grip on her Marco, putting her hands on her hips. “Ugh, dang, Snippergriffs, they ruin everything!” the blonde muttered angrily, cursing the very nature of the pesky critters of her homeland.

Marco, seeing his girlfriend’s distraught behavior, quickly changed the subject as he looked around the room, which almost radiated with an otherworldly glow. “I see you were busy while I was gone.”

Star’s bright enthusiasm returned full-force as she looked around the room with pride, saying with satisfaction, “Yeah, I thought this way it would all be much more romantic.” She arched her eyebrows knowingly on the last word, causing Marco to chuckle. “Do you like it?” the girl asked hopefully, her hands hovering near her mouth in anticipation for her boyfriend’s opinion.

The boy nodded happily. “I love it! It’s perfect, Star,” Marco said, setting the pizza down on a nearby coffee table. “Now then, do you know what today is?” the boy asked, doing little finger guns in the air for emphasis.

“Uhh,” Star began, thinking the question over. “Date night?”

Marco shook his head, “Well, yeah but you know what else it is?”

“Hmmm,” the blonde said, tapping a finger to her chin. “Friendship Thursday?”

The hooded teen frowned in disappointment, asking in a hinting tone, “Anything else?”

Star contemplated this for a few seconds, the boy growing more and more disappointed with each passing second before Star snapped her fingers and said confidently, “The last day for Stop N’ Slurp’s half-off sale.”

Marco shrank at that answer, looking sadly at the ground. He couldn’t believe Star had forgotten how special today was. The blonde seeing the depressed look on her boyfriend’s face, quickly added, “Marco, I’m just teasing of course I know what today is.”

The latino’s sad frown turned into a bright grin as he and Star shouted as one, “The anniversary of the Blood Moon Ball!” The two burst out into laughter at their shared sentence, Star clutching her stomach as she practically doubled-over from her giggle fit, Marco very lightly grabbing onto the girl’s shoulders to keep her upright as he tried to fight through his own laughter. Finally, the two recovered from their laughing fit, wiping tears from their eyes as Marco said, “Can’t believe we still do that.”

“I know, right,” Star said, opening the box of pizza and taking out a slice. She plopped down on the couch, before patting the seat next to her beckoning Marco over. The boy smiled, picking up his own slice, before sitting down beside her, the girl laying sideways on the couch and resting her legs on the boy’s lap as she practically inhaled the pizza slice, munching on it greedily. “It’s funny,” Star said, in between bites of food, not even bothering to swallow as she spoke in a muffled tone. “After the curse was broken, I thought we wouldn’t do that anymore”

“Guess it had nothing to do with the curse,” Marco replied, before taking a bite of his own slice.

“Guess not,” Star said, before moaning in delight. “Oh man, Marco! This pizza is delicious!”

Marco nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah, it is! Looks like we just found our new favorite pizza place, right Star?”

Star giggled, before saying in a teasing tone, “Don’t let Emilio hear you say that, considering what happened last time.”

Marco blushed, looking away from his pretty girlfriend. “Come on, Star. That was like three years ago,” he whined in embarrassment.

Star laughed at her Marco’s cuteness before sitting up and planting a kiss on his bright red cheek. “You’re adorable,” she cooed.

“Not as adorable as you,” Marco replied with a playful smirk, his cheeks just slightly painted pink.

“Aww, Marco,” the blonde gushed, putting a hand to her flushing cheeks. “You spoil me.”

“Oh, then just wait and see what I have planned for later,” the hooded teen said with a wink.

Star’s eyes widened in curiosity, before demanding, “Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me!”

Marco shook his head stubbornly. “Nuh uh, it’s a surprise,” the boy declared.

“Aww come on, Marco, just tell me,” the girl pouted, crawling into his lap as she gave him sad, puppy-dog eyes.

“Nope, your famous pout isn’t working on me this time,” the boy said, raising his head up so he wouldn’t meet her hypnotic eyes. He knew from experience how easy it was to fall into that trap.

“Oh, Marco,” Star said in a sing-song voice, grabbing his chin and pulling his head down so their eyes met. “Just tell me, pwease.” She gave him the saddest, most heart wrenching look she had in her arsenal, even going so far as to whine and quiver her lip.

Marco felt his will crack, his pupils shrinking as he stared into the gorgeous eyes of his favorite person in the world. There were few things that could sway Marco’s judgement and make him lose all sense of anything, and he was staring into one of them right now, the crystal blue of her wide eyes making his heart do a dance.

“Ok, fine,” the boy groaned in defeat, he knew when he had been bested by his bestie.

The blonde clapped her hands, shouting in joy, “Yay!”

He quickly moved his girlfriend off his lap, before saying, “Be right back, I left it in my room.”

“Okay!” Star called after him, practically hopping on the couch as she watched him leave. In the span of about thirty seconds Marco returned, the blonde having time to engulf another slice of the delicious pizza before staring up at her boyfriend with curious blue eyes, her cheeks still stuffed with pizza.

Marco couldn’t help but grin down at the love of his life, her expression making his heart melt all over again. Could she seriously get any cuter? he thought to himself.

“Okay, so, I was gonna wait a little bit before showing you this,” Marco began, keeping his hands behind his back so as to not spoil his surprise. “But then, someone had to go and cheat.” He gave her a halfhearted glare.

The girl swallowed her food before smirking mischievously. “Come on, you know you love me,” she said flirtingly.

The boy nodded at that before declaring with zero hesitation, “Of course I do. But that still doesn’t make it alright.” He gave her a teasing look, which she returned with one of her own.

“Hey, all’s fair in love and war, Diaz,” Star said with a playful wink.

“Anyways,” the boy continued, getting back on subject before he found himself gushing over his cute girlfriend all over again. “I figured since this is a special occasion, I’d show you this.”

He held out a pair of earbuds to Star who eyed them questioningly. “Uh, Marco, I already know you have earbuds.”

“Put one in,” Marco told her cryptically.

Star hesitantly obeyed, confusion still obvious on her face as she inserted the small circular device into her left ear. But as the soft notes hit her tender eardrum Star’s mouth fell open, listening in disbelief as the smooth melody she knew by heart played, every note practically etched into her heart. A flood of memories came back to her at once, filling her with euphoric nostalgia, as the unmistakable notes of the Blood Moon Waltz played into her ear.

She looked up at Marco with disbelief, who had been watching her closely for her reaction and he smiled brightly. “You- How did you- Where did-” the girl stuttered, unable to find words as a lump formed in her throat, tears filling at the edges of her eyes as she choked on a small sob.

Marco stared down at her with soft, loving eyes as he asked her simply, “Do you like it?”

Star nodded, wiping at her eyes to free them of happy tears. “I love it!” she squeaked out. “How did you even find this song?”

The boy shrugged. “I have my ways.”

“Tom,” the girl guessed.

“Tom,” the boy confirmed with a slight nod. “He had a version recorded just for us.”

“I missed this song so much,” the girl sighed, melting into the music as she lost herself to the irresistible tune.

For a few seconds, the two just listened to the graceful melody, before Marco sucked in a breath and held out a hand to his girlfriend. “May I have this dance?”

Star giggled, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet, before dropping into a graceful curtsey. “You may, kind sir.”

The two shared a laugh as they moved closer to each other, their bodies pressed together as they locked hands. Marco rested a hand on the small of Star’s back, drawing her even closer to his warm presence as he drank in her smell. She always smelled of roses and vanilla and he felt his heart rate increase as she laid her head against this chest.

The boy then began to lead them in a slow waltz around the dimly lit living room, their movements slow but purposeful, moving perfectly in time and sync with their chosen partner. The sound of the gentle waltz drowning out the world around them until it was just the two of them, captured in this moment in time.

Star couldn’t think of when she had been happier, surrounded by warm feelings and sounds as she listened with one ear to the graceful ball music and, with the other, was soothed by the rhythmic pumping of her dear Marco’s heartbeat. The girl snuggled into Marco’s chest after a moment, just loving having him here with her. Nothing in all of Earthni able to make her happier.

Marco clutched Star tightly against him, listening to her gentle breathing as he rested his cheek on the top of her head, her soft hair tickling his skin, and he smiled, feeling complete. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Star in his life, and there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t thank all the forces in the universe for this chance to be loved by someone as wonderful as Star Butterfly.

The two sighed in contentment as they let the music wash over them, taking them back to a simpler time when it was just the two of them trapped under the glow of a single red light. And just like that, it was as if they were back in that moment, time falling away from them as the music continued on an endless loop, sealing them inside its graceful notes.

The two smiled in bliss, their cheeks beginning to burn as, without warning, a pair of hearts and crescent moons formed on their cheeks, remnants of the magical connection the two shared, one that defied logic and space itself. Nothing in the universe could separate the two again as they shared this dance.

“Marco,” the girl whispered, her eyes still closed as she was led slowly around in a circle.

“Hmm?” the boy muttered, incapable of words at the moment, a swirl of emotions causing his head to spin.

“I missed this,” Star said simply, her hand squeezing his tightly.

The boy paused for a moment, not entirely sure what she meant when she said ‘this’. Until he realized she meant dancing to this song and he almost choked on a sob. “Me too,” he replied softly.

“I’m glad we didn’t lose this moment,” Star continued, and Marco felt his heart swell to almost bursting. “Cause there’s no one I’d rather be here with than you. And I just have to tell you one more thing...” Then Star gently leaned her head in, gazing in wonder at Marco’s loving eyes. She took her chance to whisper something in his ear, something that caused the Latino’s cheeks to turn crimson. Marco smiled dorkily before kissing her forehead softly. “Same here, Star,” he said as their eyes met in another tender glow, pupils shining in the glow of their cheeks and candlelight, reflecting all the thoughts and feelings and emotions that had brought them to this moment. Time had lost on meaning on the two young souls as they continued their dance for what felt to them like eternity.

“Same here.”

#star vs #Star vs fanwork #My Writing #phantomnationdraws #collab #Starco #Blood Moon Ball #post cleaved #Avengers Endgame #If you are wondering what Star whispered look at the tittle ;)

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actinglikethat · 4 years

Text

We Can Never Be Friends - MGK Imagine

Plot: Despite you and Colson breaking up a year ago, you still have feelings for him and suspect he might still have some for you. But a wrench is thrown in your thoughts when he brings another girl to a hangout.

A/N: Yay, this is the first writing I’m posting here! It’s loosely based on a dream I had and it’s kinda angsty/full of pining but I have a part two in the works 👀 (also idk how to write these describer things so bear with me lmao)

Warnings: One scene describes the plot of a movie Colson’s starring in (in the story) and it briefly mentions kidnapping.

You and Colson had broken up a year ago, after mutually deciding that his tour schedule and the demands of his career put too much of a strain on your relationship. Despite the way your romance ended, it was an amicable breakup and you stayed friends afterwards. Although you didn’t want to admit it, you were still in love with him. Between his looks, his dedication to his art, and his commitment to being a good father to Casie, you couldn’t help but feel like maybe you should’ve pushed harder to keep him.

There were a lot of moments at hangouts and house parties where you thought he laughed a little too long at your stories, or maintained eye contact for a few seconds more than he should’ve, that made you think maybe he felt the same way. You tried asking the likes of Pete, Rook, and Slim whether he talked about you often, or if they knew how he felt, but their answers weren’t what you wanted to hear.

As you got ready for a hangout at Rook’s one night, you found yourself putting on Colson’s favorite dress of yours, along with a necklace he got you two birthdays ago. You wore that outfit on countless dinner dates and to the studio a few times, and you gave yourself a melancholy smile in the mirror as you looked back. Casie thought that dress brought out your eyes well. She also thought you might become her stepmother one day.

Once you got to Rook’s, you made your rounds around the living room to say hi to everyone, coming to Colson last. His gaze immediately went to the necklace, then the dress, then to your face, his face dropping. He muttered a quick “hey,” gave you an awkward hug, and sat back down. It was clear you had gotten into his head, so you figured you’d sit next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said as you stepped over. “Jasmine’s sitting there.”

The smile you had on your face a moment earlier fell, and you looked over your shoulder at the rest of the group, hoping to make eye contact with someone who could tell you who this “Jasmine” was. Pete offered you a sympathetic smile, making room on the other couch next to him.

“Who the hell is Jasmine?” You quietly asked him as you sat down.

“New girlfriend,” he said. “They met on the set of that new movie he’s filming in Calabasas. She’s a lot like you, you know. I think you’d be good friends if it weren’t for the fact that she’s dating the star-crossed love of your life.”

You elbowed him in the side as a girl you had never met came into the room. Her eyes instantly fell on you, and she smiled as she walked over.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! I’m Jasmine, it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“Yeah, you too!”

“Everyone’s told me so much about you, Colson and Rook always say you’re one of the sweetest, funniest people they’ve met.”

“Do they?” You felt your heart fall to your stomach.

“All the time! I have a feeling we’ll get along well.”

“Same,” you fibbed. She smiled and took her seat next to Colson, joining in whatever conversation he was having with Slim and Noah.

You leaned back on the couch, almost regretting showing up.

“I didn’t wanna tell you he still talks about you,” Pete said. “I figured it’d kinda sting now that he’s taken.”

“She took him alright,” you muttered, earning a laugh. “I just, I don’t know. I thought maybe there was a chance he’d wanna take me back.”

“It’s possible, I think. I mean, it’s Colson, how long do we think this will really last?”

“We were together for a year and seven months. Who knows?”

He sighed, unsure of how to comfort you.

As the night went on, you made conversation with most people in the room, aside from Colson and Jasmine. You wanted to talk to them, partly so Jasmine didn’t think you were a bitch and partly because talking to Colson was one of your favorite things to do. After some convincing, you got Pete to go over with you, scared that going alone would become an awkward third-wheel situation.

Pete was right, you and Jasmine had a lot in common. It was easy for you two to find things to discuss, and she seemed like a really genuine, fun person. Pete occasionally chimed in to tell you other things you had in common, but Colson was practically silent the whole time.

A little while after you started talking, Jasmine excused herself to the kitchen to go get another drink. You turned to Pete, unsure what to do without Jasmine there, and he started asking Colson more about his new movie.

“It’s a romcom, which I haven’t really done before,” he said. “A guy’s with this girl and they break up over some stupid shit, and the whole movie they’re trying to win each other back without knowing it.”

Your gaze had been alternating between the floor and the rest of the room, but you noticed that Colson was looking directly at you while he described the film. You looked up at him almost mournfully, wondering if there was any real-life connection to the plot. Noah pulled Pete aside to show him something, leaving you and Colson standing alone.

“That sounds like a nice movie,” you commented, hoping to make the situation less awkward. “I know what that’s like.”

“Me too,” he sighed. He bit his lip, looking pensive, like he was trying to find the right words for whatever he wanted to say next. He didn’t get to say it though, since Jasmine returned before he could open his mouth.

“I was just telling Y/N about the movie,” Colson explained.

“Oh, it’s such a fun one. The whole premise is so disturbing. I mean, what kind of a sicko would hold his daughter-in-law for ransom in a shed?”

You furrowed your brow, contemplating whether Colson was actually describing the movie earlier. “Uh, yeah, that’s so twisted.”

Pete rejoined the group and started rambling about whatever Noah showed him, but you couldn’t pay enough attention to follow what he was saying. Whenever he said something funny, you glanced over at Colson to see if he was laughing. It was exactly what you’d do at these hangouts when you were dating. When he noticed you looking up at him, he’d smile and put his arm around you, if he was next to you.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Jasmine asked, noticing your expression drop. Upon hearing this, Colson looked up at you, and Pete turned to look at you too, but he already knew the answer.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I could drive you home in a little bit if you want, I have work in the morning so I’m not staying too late,” she offered.

“Thanks, I’d really appreciate that.” As much as you wanted to stay, it was torture to see how happy Colson and Jasmine were together. It didn’t help that the guys and Noah already loved her so much. It frustrated you that no one warned you that she’d be there, but at the same time, they knew how much Colson meant to you and didn’t want to upset you.

After some more awkward small talk, Slim and Baze came over to ask Colson some questions about a song they were working on. Jasmine excitedly chimed in, offering some production ideas. Pete could tell you were uncomfortable, so he put his hand on your back, nudging you towards the kitchen.

Once it was just the two of you, Pete grabbed you a water bottle from the fridge, then sat down in a barstool next to the counter.

“Come into my office, kid,” he said, pulling out another stool for you.

“I don’t know what to do,” you sighed, sitting down next to him.

“It’s a tricky situation to be in. But after tonight, I really think he’s still into you.”

“Why would he bring Jasmine here then? Especially knowing I was coming.”

“I dunno. I don’t think he knows, either. But the way he looked at you when you first got here? Then he looked crushed when you couldn’t sit next to him.”

“I dunno, Pete. It’s Colson we’re talking about, he’s not exactly a saint.”

“You’re not wrong, but I think there’s something there.”

Before you could think of something to say, Jasmine came in to tell you she was gonna go warm up the car. You nodded and started saying goodbye to everyone. You couldn’t find Colson, so you wandered around the house to see where he was.

You finally bumped into him in the hallway, after he came out of the bathroom.

“Uh, hey,” he said. “You heading out?”

“Yeah, Jasmine’s warming up the car.”

“Alright. Well, it was nice to see you again.”

He pulled you into a hug much warmer than the one he gave you earlier, and you closed your eyes against his chest, not wanting to have to say goodbye again. His arms lingered a bit longer than they should have, and as you pulled away, he kissed your forehead before sighing.

“Get home safe,” he muttered, returning to the living room and leaving you in the hall.

#mgk #mgk imagine #machine gun kelly #mgk fanfic #colson baker #my post #my writing

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rawrroarart · 4 years

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workout pic thought post:

so uhh I been awake for like 2 days so forgive my bluntness/negativity in this one (which u can already kinda see in the post itself lmao)

from a practice standpoint: I made this one mostly to keep practicing on bodies trying to make them more anatomically correct and that's one of the main reasons im choosing to show more skin than I am clothes. (That and im gay so) I do wish to get better at clothes though since my Goal is to be able to draw Diana (and other characters eventually maybe) in cute outfits, but for now I need to at least be able to draw bodies first lmao and also id like to get better at coloring

(gets more negative from here on and honestly just turns into a rant about my life my bad)

from a mental standpoint: the other day I had a legitimate mental breakdown because none of my projects were coming out correctly and everything I drew looked like shit so I had an existential crisis over my abilities of art and somehow convinced myself that maybe I didn't actually ever draw anything on my blog so I guess I also had a bit of an identity crisis and I deleted a lot of unfinished projects despite my habits of hoarding and contemplated deleting the rest of my software to never draw again but for some odd reason my girlfriend woke up during this fit and got me to calm down at least, but I kept hyperfixating on trying to draw and so didn’t sleep but I eventually did FINALLY take a break and when I came back I was pissed and drew this. It turned out really well I think (thank fucking god because I probably would have quit if it didn't) but im depressed as hell!! and I miss my fucking girlfriend!! I was supposed to go fucking see her for spring break because I haven't seen her in over half a year but then covid happened and yea yea boohoo “ur life isn't that hard” but let me be sad dammit anyway im stressed as fuck because of school and the fear of my chances of reaching my dreams never coming true so that art problem was NOT GOOD for my health and idk what im doing hahgAHSWADHASDADSA

Anyway (again) usually my “sketch dumps” have multiple of drawings and I really was gonna draw Akko to go with her but I got really afraid of that breakdown and so as the saying goes, stop while you’re ahead.

on a positive note: yay diana’s stomach

#I speak #it rly is just a rant so that future me can see what a lil bitch I am lmao

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beihonglin · 5 years

Text

anyway i met bei honglin and he’s an actual angel and we don’t deserve him: a recap

also this is more than 5k words so like ! prepare yourselves!

fhdjjd okay so in april honglin’s hyh brought up his birthday party in his gc and I was like :——) that’s when spring sem ends I could actually make it

fast forward through a lot of encouraging by summer miss @91percentchaoze (sobs I rly owe summer my life) and a lot of anxiety about flights and a lot of other stresses in between

and June 2nd I’m in shanghai with mirthe miss @honglinsmacaroni and meggi and summer ie three of the cutest people in the world!!!

when we get to banana there were already other fans there waiting at the event space and the hyh was giving out seat numbers and stuff

so meggi was 10, summer was 11, mirthe was 14 and I was 15

and we started giving out the slogans and stuff we printed until the staff chased us out so they could set up

and so we were chilling first in Starbucks w the other fans fhdjjfjf they’re rly so cute I was finally able to put faces to weibo handles & they finally realised they were talking to someone who’s actually shit at speaking Chinese lmao

then when it got to 2 o’clock we moved outside near the entrance of the event space (since the event space was supposed to be open to us at 2)

but they got the time wrong and we ended up only being able to go in at nearly 3

which isn’t important anyway bc !!! we saw tangram walking in !!!

okay so we saw this white blob coming out from the main banana building and walking towards one of the side buildings and we were like

whomst

and it wAS JINGZUO JSDKAHFKJDH

and summer or mirthe waved at him and he was like bitch wtf and squinted

like ??? who the heckity is waving at me but then eventually he connected the dots and was like o yah fans so he waved back fhdchdkhcjdjf

and he just walked on what a king ??????

summer was right I was surprisingly more chill than I thought I would be fhdjfjfjjf I thought I would cry but I didn’t

so we waited around a bit longer, got suntans and sunburns and slightly dehydrated

and then honglin walks out

my god y’all he’s a whole goddamn angel he’s not real I’m telling you he’s unreal

I KNOW I said the last time that yanjun is rly unphotogenic and all the photos don’t do him justice but leT ME TELL YOU

THE ENTIRE BANANA FAMILY IS LIKE THIS THEYRE UNREAL

THEYRE ALL BANANA PEELS IN HUMAN SUITS THEIR VISUALS ARE ??? NOT HUMAN

but yah at first I was like o he’s gonna go through the back exit to the event space he’s not gonna come this way

AND THEN HE CAME THIS WAY

fhdjfjfj i didn’t take a video but if I did u would probs hear me go “o shit he’s coming” fhdjfjfj

and mirthe was like I’M GONNA TELL HIM UR WEIBO HANDLE I’M GONNA TELL HIM YOU’RE ASTROFIREWORKS and I was like NO so then we had a little back and forth for a while tHAT HONGLIN SAW FBDJHFJF

I don’t rmb a lot of it bc I was mainly in shock that he was in front of me so I was mostly like :——) heckie!

but he went through the front entrance and the moment he made it inside I lost my shit fbdjfjjff

mirthe sent a picture of me just kneeling at the entrance contemplating my entire life to the group chat fhdjfhdj apparently I said that I wanted to go home fhdjfjfjjf

and then zhixie and jingzuo came out soBS

ZHIXIE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IRL U DONT UNDERSTAND HIS CHEEKBONES ARE INSANE

also he had black hair again and the cuTEST HAT ON and we promptly lost our shit

Jingzuo,,,,, in a plain white shirt and blue jeans and converse,,,, someone PLEASE stop him

but they went in and we cried

and waited outside bc ruotian and chaoze still hadn’t gone in but then someone came to tell us chaoze was off filming for his show so he wasn’t coming & somehow ruotian had alr made it into the building without us noticing so eventually we all went in

and the chairs were so comfortable o my god they swivelled and they were like super squishy I love chairs

and then the best two hours of my tgm stan life started :—(

my god the moment honglin stepped on stage my entire heart melted he rly looked so good sobs

you’re completely right I’m dedicating an entire portion to his visuals

his eyes :—-( are so sparkly my god

and when he smiles his eyesmile???? he gets those rly deep wrinkles around his eyes and they’re actually beautiful????? ;;;;

he Radiates joy like i know i say this so often but their debut song??? radiant??? written For him,,,

also when he smiles it’s so warm like you find yourself smiling along bc he rly and genuinely means it and is happy and your heart just warms up bc he’s happy and i just

man i l*ve him

okay so the first segment zhixie was like “what do y’all love about beibei”

and everyone was yelling different things like “he’s so handsome” and “so talented” and “his vocals” and someone also yelled “he can eat a lot” and zhixie was like ??? bro whAt

also someone said “he spoils his fans a lot” and my god y’all it’s so so true but more in that at the very end of this recap

I couldn’t even say anything rip bc my entire brain was set in English and I was like ???? my god i wrote an entire post about the reasons I l*ve him but my mind is blankity blank

but then he was like well beibei’s great at pick up lines

so he did pick up lines based on scenarios zhixie gave fhdjfjfand most of them were old tsk

but he made up this rly cute one that went like 看花开不如看着你发呆 ‘people like looking at flowers bloom, but i’d rather look at you daydreaming’ and i UWUED SO HARD

and I didn’t realise this until meggi pointed it out after but when they put the scenarios on screen, they used a gender neutral “TA” instead of the gendered 她/他 ;;;;;

then they did this segment where honglin was supposed to go against three fans and do a tongue twister in the shortest time and in order of time they got to choose foods under cloches

honglin did so badly fhdjfjfj he got last place but idk if he did it on purpose so his fans could win

one fan got wasabi disguised as ice cream and zhixie was like EAT IT and honglin was like DONT

and he offered to eat the wasabi for her I’m sobbing he rly is so sweet

but zhixie was like NO SHE HAS TO EAT IT and everyone laughed bc he was so adamant fhdjfjfj i love zhixie with my entire soul

and thEN honglin goes okay y’all know how I posted that picture last night

(this picture)

my god I died when he posted it bc

1) I love that shirt what an expensive look

2) he was baking ;A;

and he made a half-baked cheesecake s o b s

he was like: “since i’m always posting vlogs and y’all always watch me eat I thought I’d make food for y’all this time” and I WEPT

and he was like oh give me a theme and i’ll decorate the cake around that theme

so they pulled out the box again and he picked random numbers

and they called out 4 and 15 and 27 to go on stage and I was like

wow I wonder who they are omg

and suddenly summer’s in my ear going MY GOD 15 IT’S YOU

me:

me: what

zhixie: STOP DREAMING IT’S YOU

me: WHAT

hdsflgkjhdfkhgjdsfgkhksfgkdjhdfgkjhsdgjh

and the entire time i was mouthing to mirf and meggi like I CAN’T SPEAK CHINESE I’M GOING TO GO UP AND FORGET THAT I’M BILINGUAL I’M GOING TO BE BYELINGUAL I’M

and they were mouthing back sPEAK ENGLISH and i was like oK

and then it was my turn and i was shaking so so so hard ????

like i’m so so so bad in front of crowds i’ve shaken my way through every marketing presentation ever bc i hATE public speaking and now i have to go up in front of two angels?????

mirf and meggi were like THAT’S ASTROFIREWORKS and i didn’t realise until i checked the group chat after that zhixie said yAY KJDHSKSJAHKJA

and summer was like SHE FLEW IN FROM NEW YORK kjdshfkahdgjfhagjd

and zhixie was like wait do u speak chinese

and i blANKED OUT I WAS LIKE YES BUT FAM NO

but he only took the yes and was like ok thaNK GOD I DONT HAVE TO TRANSLATE

inside i was like fAM WHO THE HECKITY DO U THINK TRANSLATES YOUR VIDEOS I CAN DO IT FOR U KASJDHFLSKJDHKH but outside i was just ah yes :—)

and zhixie and honglin said something about english but my mind was blank all i could do was stare at honglin like

y’all

i know i said he was unreal but

up close

he’s literally ??? a whole angel like ????????????? his eyes sparkle so much when he laughs my heart STOPPED

and when they asked me to step closer i was like

actually i can translate for u i’m-

and zhixie was like NO THERE’S NO NEED like akdsfhkjkjdshJKASDHK OK

then honglin asked what theme i wanted and i was likE FAM IDK I’VE BEEN BLANKING THE ENTIRE TIME STARING AT YOU

so i was like okay i know u rly like one piece so something maybe one piece related

and he was like fam that’s difficult sadjkfhalsKJSDHLKJASD

but the moment i opened my mouth

zhixie: ARE YOU SINGAPOREAN OR MALAYSIAN

me: uh i’m singapor-

honglin: uwu i can hear it

me: about to die

zhixie (in english): ur accent !

and god yall my entire heart burst into flames like

i’ve said it before here but i’ve spent quite a bit of time being ashamed of my accent bc when i first got to america nobody could understand my singaporean accent and everyone kept asking me to repeat myself and eventually i was like ok u know what it’s better if i just shut up and not talk

and so the reason why i’m so so so proud of zhangjing (and jj) is bc there finally is ?? some south east asian representation and there are even people complimenting his accent and calling it cute and it ?? finally felt like i shouldn’t be embarrassed about the way i speak??

zhixie: when i heard you i was like eh? it’s almost like i heard you zhangjing

and i

Cried

and then zhixie turned to meggi and mirthe and were like yall come from beijing?

like fam what

and meggi was like no we come from belgium

zhixie: malaysian? you?

about ten people correcting him: belgium

zhixie, again: malaysian?

kajsdhflasjdkhfkj

and then zhixie said some other words but yall i was

just watching honglin

his hands are so so so so beautiful like his fingers are rly nice and

his nose ??? work of art

also his hands looked so soft like :—(

he was just bent over the cake and he :—( rly truly a goddamn angel

summer took photos of me that i’m never releasing ever sakdfhaksjdhfds i look so COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR HIM LIKE

and at one point he started plucking cherries and one stalk fell on the floor and i was like o no so i went forward to pick it up and he

looked up

and said ‘oh it’s okay’ and smiled and

my heart stopped i think i left my soul on stage

O SHIT OKAY AND THEN ZHIXIE WALKED OVER AND WAS LIKE

CAN I ASK WHAT YOU’RE THINKING U LOOK LIKE YOU’RE LOSING UR MIND

AND I WAS LIKE FAM U DONT UNDERSTAND I A M

and i was like ‘idk i’m just ?? very shookt’

and zhixie was like what??? shy????

me: 很惊讶 (very shocked)

zhixie: shy? ? ??

me, thinking: fam this is how i feel when i translate yall captionless vlogs

zhixie (in eng): is this ur first time seeing honglin?

me: my first time seeing you also !!!!!

zhixie, suddenly shy: ah okay thank u

UWU!!!

and then honglin was done and looked up and i might have died inside again

AND HE WALKED OVER AND I WAS LIKE FAM NO DONT IF YOU COME CLOSER I’M LITERALLY GOING TO DI E??????

and he was like ‘oh this is zoro’

the sane part of me: oh wait ur favourite character is zoro???

bc liTERALLY TWO DAYS BEFORE HE POSTED ABOUT SANJI AND SO MY SISTER AND I WERE LIKE OH HE PROBS LIKES SANJI

BUT HE

LIKES ZORO

(my sister, afterwards: wtf i feel lied to)

but he was so heckin close to me like fam my heart

stopped

honglin: i hope u like it uwu

me: heck !

honglin: take one bite!

me: HECKITYHECK

zhixie (in eng): i wanna see ur facial expression

aND THEN THEY WERE BOTH LOOKGIN AT ME LIKE FUCABJS,BCD

FUCINADJCNSAKJDKJ

honglin: is it okay? ;;

me: FUCIJNSKCSADJ YES TAKE MY HEART TAKE MY SOUL

and i finally FINALLY FUNIAJKNSSK FINALLY GOT OFF THE GODDAMN STAGE

zhixie: WHERE’S HER APPLAUSE

anD EITHER RUOTIAN OR JINGZUO UPSTAIRS STARTED CLAPPING AGAINST THEIR MIC LIKE ASDFAHKSDHFAKSJD SHUT UP

AND I WANTED TO DIE I WALKED ITNO A CARDBOARD CUTOUT RIGHT AFTER BC I WAS SO SHOOK

and honglin was like be careful! there’s a cardboard cutout right there! bc he’s a whoLE ANGEL

but also like GKASCKASHDHFAJDSHLFKJ PLS STOP LOOKIGN AT ME PLEAS E MY HEART IS WEAK I’M

my god

collapsed into summer’s arms right after thank god for summer !!!

okay then the next segment zhixie was like o yall know honglin’s position in the group is main vocal so next he can sing something for yall

honglin: actually i prepared an entire song for yall but music copyright means that i can’t sing it w a backing track

bc if he sings w a copyrighted backing track or if he sings more than half the song the livestream video would have to be taken down or something??

but it didn’t matter bc the moment he opened his mouth my entire heart STOPPED like

if he stabbed me in the stomach it would have hurt less his voice is so so sososos ososososososoosososo beautiful ????

and he sang without a backing track to like ????

i’m telling yall he’s a whole angel like he’s not real

and then honglin was like oh i also prepared another song but bc i now see there are overseas fans here i’m gonna sing an english song

and he sang when i was your man by bruno mars and when he hit the high note i think i ascended into the afterlife

about the 46 minute mark here i RLY AND TRULY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO IT SOBS HE SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT ANGEL HE IS

AND ZHIXIE HARMONISED AT THE BACK LIKE AHHHHH THAT’S MY BABE MAIN VOCAL TAGTEAM RIGHT THERE

and then zhixie asked if there was any other song we wanted and i was immediately like JJ!!

i’ve been ??? pleading for a jj cover forEVER ND HE

FINALLY PULLED THROUGH

honglin: i’m going to do Those Were The Days bc like the song says (那些你很冒险的梦我陪你去疯 - all those adventurous dreams, i’ll chase them with you), i’ve been chasing my dream and yall have been here with me every step of the way

and i think the moment he said it i DIED like ???? jj is one of my favourite singers and nearly all my faves have covered his songs at least once, astro included???

and everyone who knows me knows i love jj like nini miss @tanqram has literally made a tangram singing jj compilation that i watch religiously ??? and this is one of my fave jj songs?????

and the moment he opened his mouth like ???? i KNOW i said that i died the last two times he sang but

firstly he sounds so much like jj?????

and secondly everything was ???? perfect??????

like i judge jj covers hard bc i’ve listened to the originals so many times everything is ingrained and the moment something is off i cringe but

yall

honglin’s perfect honglin is Actually Perfect

ALSO HE SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE JJ LIKE HE RLY WASN’T LYING IN HIS IP INTRODUCTION

and afterwards honglin was like lol jj said before that whenever he sings high notes he starts sweating and immediately jingzuo (???) was like TAKE OFF UR CLOTHES LKAJDHSFKASJDHFK

jingzuo chaotic good!!!

also i didn’t know until afterwards when the fantakens were out but ruotian was eating chicken wings and slurping noodles the whole time upstairs aksjdflhaksdjfhaksj why is didi line chaos

and then zhixie was like yall know what other things beibei is good at?

like fam he’s good at everything we rly can’t

also someone in the back was like he’S GREAT AT DOING THE SPLITS and honglin’S FACE AJSDFHKSJDHF

but it was languages and so zhixie was like we’re gonna make him say i love u in many different languages

and i could FEEL marta miss @honeyforzhixie going ????? isn’t that ur thing zhixie jsdgflasjdhf

and so they started discussing languages and zhixie was like o i know u can speak a little japanese bc i know u memorised the entire one piece theme song

and i SCREAMED INSIDE bc we literally juST TALKED ABOUT IT THAT MORNING WHEN WE VIDEO CALLED NINI nkfhakjsdhf we were like uwu we hope he sings a jj song but then we were like o lol what if he ended up singing the one piece theme song instead bc we bet he knew the whoLE THING AND HE DOES KNOW IT AJSDFHLAK

but then zhixie made honglin imitate maotong and say ‘i love u’ the way maotong would and my heart ached a little i miss my baby boy so much ??

but JINGZUO CHAOTIC GOOD JSDHLAKJ ‘could u imitate chaoze too’ jaskdlfhkjd

and so he did a couple different versions like Japanese (he and jingzuo screamed lines from one piece at each other ajdkhflksd) and korean (he took a line out of some korean drama?????)

and someone suggested french (was it mirf?????) and i lAUGHED rip his french vlog sorry honglin i swear i love u !!

and then they were like ok time to play his fan video

okay listen i have to preface this by saying that when i got the brief from the hyh she told me ‘it’s best if we make him cry!’ and i was like ok! sure!

turns out it made ME cry i stressed out over the video for two entire weeks sobs the moment my finals were over i locked myself into nyu’s computer lab until moving out day but still couldn’t finish it so i had to work on it on the plane ride home too sobs my roommate connie miss @ynajun saw the worst of it bc every time i came home from the lab i’d stress about it ???

but my god it was worth ??? everything ????

he ?????? cried??????

and like on one hand i’m happy that i managed to fulfil the brief but also i feel bad bc he cried but also mostly i laughed bc he’s such a sweet emotional bub

BUT ALSO BC HE CRIED MEGGI GOT TO OFFER HIM HER TISSUES!!!!!!!!

like we specially bought tissues before we left for banana bc we were like we’re gonna need them bc we’re gonna cry

BUT IT TURNS OUT HONGLIN NEEDED HTEM MORE AJSDKFHLASJDHFKAJ

zhixie: he cries every year during his birthday

zhixie: but also even when it’s not his birthday he cries he cried at my birthday too

and afterwards in chaoze’s birthday post he called honglin a crybaby too UWUWUWUWU

tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat he thanked us again for the video and i Died

okay this next part is purely speculation bc i honestly might just be overinflating myself and he might have done this purely coincidentally but when he thanked us for his video he looked at me and i ?????

when the video was playing nini and marta were yelling in the gc that they knew the video was done by me bc i overuse cc particle world on after effects jasdhlfksjdh but in that moment i briefly entertained the thought that he was familiar enough with my edits to know that the only idiot who keeps using cc particle world was me ??

but also as i said purely speculation and probably coincidence so

anyway you can watch it here

and then they played the birthday video messages from fans and i think i died from embarrassment let’s Not talk about it

but also i only realised it after they pointed it out in the gc but apparently zhixie and honglin were both singing along to the jj backing track i added to my video ajsdfhlaksjd

my god another tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat we were talking about the videos we recorded

and hh (one of honglin’s og fans she’s a whole angel too I love her !!!!) was like my gOD i rly am so unphotogenic (when she filmed her video she put a ‘FAT’ over her face sobs but like mood) and i was like yah same lol i had to record myself like ten times in times square bc i looked so bad in all the takes

and honglin was like HH WHY DID U CENSOR UR FACE UR CLEARLY SO CUTE and we collectively died for her uwu !!!!

then honglin rePLIED ME SAYING ‘OH BUT TIMES SQUARE HAS SUCH A GOOD VIBE’ and i died for the nth time ??? and then he followed up by saying ‘i rly want to go to times square i’ve gone to america a lot of times when i was younger but i’ve only ever been to the west coast’ jksadhlfkjshekj pls come i’ll bring u around east coast best coast

but back to the point he was like ‘i’ve said it before during ip (and he did!!! during the fanfan episode where he was talking to the rubbish bin he rly has said it before!!!!) but i rly try my best to remember every single person’s face and all my fan’s weibo IDs’ and my heART MELTED HE

and then it was his ending ment!!

he said something that rly threw my heart off a cliff he said that he’s so grateful for the hyh and fans for listening to him and donating to charities in his name instead of buying him extravagant gifts bc when he makes it big, if he makes it big, the thing he wants to do the most is to donate to children who come from a less privileged family background bc he knows what it’s like coming from a single parent family and ;n;

then they showed wishes from other idols!!!!!

there was wang ziyi, zhou rui, the twins my ip hEART

LISTEN I ??? when zuo qibo showed up my SWIN HEART EXPLODED I ??? MISS ??? MY SWIN ANGELS ????

AND THEN RUIBIN SHOWED UP IN ALL HIS UNKEMPT AND UNSHAVEN AND RAMBLING GLORY AND MY PRINCERUIBIN HEART WEPT I THINK I HELD SUMMER’S ARM SO HARD SHE GOT BRUISES AJKSDHFKSJD I’M SO SORRY SUMMER I LOVE U

and then cHAOZE APPEARED !!!! and everyone immediately melted he’s the softest leader alive i love my baby!!

and honglin was about to say something but ruOTIAN

ruotian showed up w a cake w sparklers???????? like fam???????

and eventually we had to say goodbye :—(

but honglin was like o i rly and truly thought that there would be lesser people at this birthday than there was last year and my heart ??? broke ????

bc the room they were in last year alr was so small and there were rly little roses but he ??? genuinely thought he had so little fans that he wouldn’t even fill up the room ;;;;;;;; bc there rly are v little active roses both on weibo like there are less than ten of us who actively post in his chaohua and at tgm events like they’re mostly lrt/jjz fans and there’s usually only one rose ;;;;

but listen honglin our entire gc would die for you we will never stop loving u until every last one of us is found dead in a ditch

and then we’ll love u into the next life

also after he said goodbye he was like sike!

he kept singing behind the cardboard cutouts and peeking around them to say hi again

at some point I poked my head over and went PLS COME TO NEW YORK and he said something back that I alas couldn’t hear rip

and then he started singing along to jj again sobs

but eventually at some point they left via the back door and I was like GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR sobs going to the airport for yanjun and wenjun and jeffrey and ziyi and kunkun rly was to prepare me for one thing and one thing only and it was to practise getting good non-shaky fantakens without dying???

jingzuo rly truly looked AMAZING he rly rocks the white tee blue jeans and converse look jingzuo stans stay winning!!!

and honglin ;;;;;;; was holding my banner ;;;;;;;;

and he looked directly into my camera a couple times sobs and he shot hearts too I rly ???? Editing the photos made me cry so many times fbdjhfjf every time I got to those photos I lose my mind

ALSO ONLY AFTER EDITING THE PHOTOS I REALISED RUOTIAN WAS JUDGING ME SO HARD GHDJFJ my eyes were glued to honglin the entire time but looking at the photos again ruotian looked so unamused fhcjfhfbfhbf

speaking of ruotian my gOD editing photos with him in it is a nightmare y’all he’s either blinking or looks like he’s about to sneeze in nearly every picture fhdjfjfj summer and I generally make it a rule not to blur other members’ faces out of our fantakens but ruOTIAN RLY TESTING ME

but we made it to the banana lobby and I didn’t want to follow them and their fansites in so I stopped walking and honglin turned back to wave at me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; and i think i died again

and so I went back to the event space where summer and mirthe and meggi were waiting and sat down and blanked out sobs

but it diDNT END THERE FHDJFJJF FOR SOME REASON HONGLIN DECIDED TO WALK OUT AGAIN A BIT AFTER

so mirthe and I were like omg gotta blAST so we speedwalked over

and he :—-( saw and shot signs at my camera again fhdjfjfjjf I ???

and then it was Actually Over god I was a shell of a person after that

still am tbh I’m not sure how I survived sorting through our 2000+ fantakens fhdjfjfj

but I’m so spoiled y’all I’m really truly so spoiled by him :—(

like I said earlier he rly spoils his fans so much????

that night he posted on Instagram and immediately summer and meggi and mirthe and I commented and he replied all four of us ;n;

earlier on in spring semester there was a third party event that Tangram was invited to but the organiser was a MESS and tgm wasn’t treated very well??? but honglin was worried that the fans who travelled to the event and didn’t get to see them were upset so he came into the group chat to console them ;;;;;

and I was talking to another fan and she said that even during other events he kept turning around to wave at the fans and acknowledge them and it’s ;;;;;; as someone who has ?? waited in the rain / stood for hours waiting for idols something as simple as a nod or a smile rly warms u up and makes the wind and cold worth it ;;;; and he makes sure to do it all the time ;;;;;;;;;

on his birthday !! his birthday !! when he was in Taiwan and should be resting and enjoying time w his mum and not thinking about us !!!! he still came into the group chat for an hour and talked to us ;;;;;;

and he named all his sort of more well known fans’ IDs, even the ones who weren’t online and sending messages at the time ;;;;; like he rly wasn’t lying when he said he remembers us ;;;;

also fhdjfjfjjf god I’m so spoiled he replied me so many times ?? like there was the times sq thing and the east coast thing ???

and when he said he was training for the next archery competition I was like “o are u shooting recurve or compound this time?” and he was like “o idk if I shot recurve or compound but it’s the one I shot the last time” and I fhdjfjfjfhfb

tangential but 1) my god y’all his form is beautiful my archery heart: exploded

2) his rhotics are so beautiful too my phonology heart: also exploded

also when he was about to leave the gc I was like “huh but u just got here, why are you leaving?” and he sent another voice message “astrofireworks, why are you becoming shameless too, when did I just get here, I’ve clearly been here for a long time already” fhdjfjdjfn fhdjjd

also my GOD He was reading some IDs and summer and lyla were like what about @astrofireworks and I was like fchjfbhjdf y’all it’s ok he’s alr said it in another voice message two months ago in the gc I’m alr so spoiled I ???? rly shouldn’t ask anything else of him or he’s going to hate me

but then he

sent

a whole

nine second message

“hey astrofireworks, I hope one day I can go to New York and maybe... I’ll meet you there, okay?”

and I ??,?? Sobbed

ndjdbfjvcchhxhdhfh

and then Connie went to send him off at the airport in Taiwan the next day and ?????

I’m not gonna say much because it’s rly conno’s story to tell and I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say outside the gc but he rly spoils his fans so so so so much ????

anyway bei honglin rly and truly is the sweetest boy on earth we rly don’t deserve him ;;;;; this first week of June truly has been the best week of my cpop stan life and i ????? love mister bei honglin with my entire heart and soul ;;;;;;;;;;;;

#bei honglin #honglin #tangram #贝汯璘 #banana #my god i hope this posts it's so long

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geekygoddesss · 5 years

Text

Caught you

Summary: Rory’s life couldn’t be more boring, but who would have thought a simple discovery would make her life turn weirder and weirder.

Words: 8.6k

A. Note: This is the first part of my series “Atypical”! you can find it here and on wattpad. I am so excited for it and I hope you love it.

Atypical Masterlist

"Retreat day yay!" I exclaim very loudly as I walk up to the crowd of people that were starting to form in front of the yellow bus.

A few looks turn to my direction as I walk up to my dear classmates and join them all as they wait for this day to start. Retreat day was a highly anticipated day or so I've heard, it could be either incredibly fun or really boring, which from those two options, I was aiming for the second one. No good retreat could come out of an English class and not with all these assholes I call classmates.

A hand falls on my shoulder and squeezes it a bit. I turn to look at the teacher, who I recognize better as my uncle but decided for the collective good not to act like he is when being around the school. He is smiling down at me and looking as fresh as he does most days.

"Good, that is good, now say it like you mean it" He says raising his eyebrows at me, almost expecting for me to actually be excited.

A sarcastic laugh leaves my lips "Funny, I kinda mean it" I shrug.

"Do you?" he asks, surprisingly taking in my attitude better than other times.

"No" I shake my head as my smile drops and my lips are press together. There is literally a million other stuff that I'd rather do other than going on a school retreat.

"Ah, Ro, it's not that bad, I thought you loved museums, you did really great on the last essay, I thought this would excite you a little more" He said shaking his head a little, I know he was expecting me to like this whole thing and I did like the museum, a lot, it was just the timing, the people, the fact I have not slept in two days. I did not feel like going at all.

"I do, but really, today I just want to stay home" I say, shrugging as my uncle gives a sigh and squeezes my shoulder again, letting a silent 'it's okay' float between both of us.

"it's alright Mr. Harrington, she wouldn't be excited about something if she tried" said a voice from behind me and my nerves spike up. If that wasn't my archenemy I don't know who was, I would recognize that voice anywhere and at any time, it would make me feel as sick as it does right now.

I slowly turn around, making sure I was being dramatic enough as I took a good glance to the worst person I have ever met ever since I joined this high school, Betty the witch Brant, on all of her glory.

God damn, I hate her.

I shoot a big fake smile at her because it's what I do better when she is around, pretending it doesn't pain my guts that she's here talking to me. I wanna laugh at her comment, because it is just so funny that the one person that shows herself up in a screen with an ass face every morning comes up to me saying that, I guess that reminded me why I hate her so damn much.

"You are telling me I don't have excitement?" I say, pointing at her as I speak.

She crosses her arms above her chest giving me a tired look. "I am telling you that you should be grateful Mr. Harrington is even considering to take you on this trip seeing that you talk like you'd like to jump off the window anytime" She says with that bored and annoying voice that made me want to slap her so bad.

"That is not wrong, I would love to do that, no doubt I will if I have to listen to your voice all the way there" I laugh, mimicking her as I cross my arms over my chest too, shooting a look at her, a look that says 'Go the fuck out of my sight, I bite'.

"Maybe you should pay attention to the things I say, you could catch some of that, maybe it will give you some spirit to, you know..." She says eyeing me up at down, scanning me carefully to then mumble "Be normal"

I look down at myself. If she was really trying to make me feel bad about myself, she was really wasting her time, because if we need to start comparing, I look better than her and anyone who thought otherwise could go take a hike. I like me and like how I look, I love wearing leather jackets and boots, I love dark clothes and I love everything that resembled the past two, Betty Brant was not about to make me feel any less confident because of it.

"Oh gosh, now she is telling me to catch spirit from her, this is so funny" I exclaim as I take a step back and let a giggle come out of my lips, as I laugh at her with total sarcasm on my voice "Says the only girl who bring the real joy to this school every morning on the news, really, Betty, you inspire me, my tired face never looked better" I snap at her, making really handsy moves while a speak to give some drama to all this.

She does not really react to anything I am saying, her face remains still as I speak, totally pretending not to care, but I can see in her eyes, she cares what I am saying because there's that little something that flickers in her eyes when I finish talking, She hates me even more as the time passes, Good. if she had some kind of laser eyes I would be so dead right now, thank god she doesn't, but I don't care, if I had to die anytime soon, I wouldn't mind to die after telling Betty she's a bitch.

"at least I care for the school and do something that's actually helpful, People like me, so jokes on you Rory" she says, with that arrogant smile on her face that I hate so much "the level of joy I bring to this place is more than you ever will in your whole life"

"My fish had more spirit that you and it is dead" I say, heavily glaring at her while she threw a look at me, a look with pure fire in it.

"Girls, enough" said my Uncle stepping between us and making me give a step back.

Betty doesn't say anything else, I am pretty sure she has nothing in mind to get back to me, she is probably trying to think of something to make me feel bad but can't really get her finger on something that will get to me, so she just glares and turns around, walking straight to the bus along with her minions. Good, I hated to have her around.

"Rory, we talked about this, no fights, no arguing, no mean comments" I hear my uncle say in the background as I watch my archenemy walk away. I turn to look at him, he is really serious with what he's saying and I don't blame him, I know he doesn't like the fact that sometimes I tended to be like this to people, but really, it wasn't my fault Betty is such a bitch to me.

"I never do any of those" I say shrugging, trying to look as careless as I can "She gets on my nerves" I excuse, like if that was going to really get me out a pep talk I've had already tons of times.

"I know but you know how kids are, sometimes things can be touchy so, self-control, got that?" he said sighing, now a bit frustrated at my attitude.

"Yeah Yeah" I nod and give him thumbs up "Self-control, blah blah whatever"

he presses his lips together like if he is trying to think of something else to say to me but one of the other teachers call his name from afar, he knows there is no time for peep talk and I am really happy for it, I don't need it right now.

"I want you in the bus in 10 and you are sitting next to me, got it?" He says, palming my back as he walks past me "We don't need you arguing with anyone"

"As if I am planning on talking to someone" I scoff as I watch him walk away from me.

"light up, Rory, it'll be fun!" he says with a small smile, now disappearing into to the small crowd of people.

I contemplate the option of just getting into the bus all by myself since my only companion is now gone, I should do it, but I don't want any kind of rumors spreading about what the heck I was doing in the bus alone while everyone was waiting for the driver to come back, there was enough fake news about me around, I don't need another one. I walk to the stairs in front of the school and just take a seat there by myself, under the sun, waiting for the dumb driver to come back and lead us to another boring day of school.

I wait patiently, watching the people from my class hang around the bus, they laugh and talk to each other, some of them already excited for the trip and others really not looking forward to it at all, like myself, with a slight difference, at least they had a companion for the occasion, I didn't.

There was a lot of mixed opinions on why me - Rory, ex-cheerleader, ex-popular kid and last but not least, former mathematics leader- had no friends in school, most of these stories came from people who didn't really know me at all and at some point in life just decided they didn't like me and starting making stories, which a lot of people decided to believe and little by little I started to be more lonely every time, but if you asked me what the true facts of all of these made up stories are, I would tell you none of these are true. There is only one reason and the only truth is that I just like being alone, as simple as that. Is that so bad?.

"You're still here!" I hear a voice say in my direction, the only voice I cared about and felt some sort of relieving to hear "I thought you were already getting lost in the art and all of that nonsense you love"

"Art isn't nonsense" I say to my only friend, as I roll my eyes to her in a total non-sarcastic way.

After all of those rumors that go around me in the school, I was lucky enough to have one person who decided not to believe all of that bullshit and stood by my side in every moment. My best friend and savior, Allison Ghannam, the only person I trust in this place.

"Right" She says at me with a very casual smile as she steps in front of me. "What happened? Why are you still here"

I cover my eyes from the sun to look up at her, she looked genuinely excited today, I don't know why but she does, Her cloth-covered head dressed in a color I have never seen before on her, a vivid, bright and happy color, and her eyes reflected something that told me, she clearly woke up on the right side of the bed this morning, she was in a good mood, I wasn't. Somehow I wished she could give me some of that right now.

"The driver went to the cafeteria to grab a bite or something, we will be gone soon" I say with a shrug as I move to my side and pat the spot beside me for her to sit on.

"Why the long face then, my friend?" She says, leaving her backpack down and sitting my side "Here, I brought you an apple pie" she says passing me the paper bag in her hand and my heart melts, this was too nice from her, I don't deserve it.

"Thanks" I say with a small smile as I take the bag and dig in for my apple pie "by the way, it's not a long face, it's just my face" I mock as I take the first bite. It is delicious.

"I can see that" she says rolling her eyes at me a little and turning to look at the people in front of the yellow bus, her face lighting up when she spots my uncle in between the crowd. It's crazy how good these two get along.

"Looking good Mr. Harrington!" she calls, waving at my uncle, who smiles at her and waves back "Red is really your color" she compliments and I mentally slap myself for not noticing, because he is suiting a brand new Jacket today and I was too busy worrying about other things that I forgot to mention that he indeed, looks good.

"Thanks, Ally, are you not coming with today? There's plenty of spots" He says loud enough for us to hear and pointing at the entrance of the bus behind him.

"No, thank you, sir, I actually have a test today and I really can't miss it" She shrugs a little and shakes her head. I hate the fact that she actually has an excuse to miss the retreat because I was really counting on the fact she would come over with us.

"Ah that's a shame, Rory could use a little company today" He says from afar, looking at me for a short second.

"I know, sir, but Duty calls, I can't miss it" She shrugs again in a small apology

He shakes his head, really not liking the fact that I am going to be alone on this trip but still facing it, because there was really nothing he could do about this "Well, good luck" he says, turning to the bus and walking back towards the group of teachers there.

Ally waves goodbye, giving a final smile to my uncle as I turn to look at her. Really, when you only have one friend in the whole school, having to go anywhere alone sucked really bad especially on this kind of situations, where I had no other options to be away with people I don't like for the entire day.

"It really pains me that you are leaving me alone on this" I say to her with a pout on my lips. I meant it, I hated to be alone on this, today.

"We weren't born together my friend" she nudges me and gives me a comforting smile.

"I know that but seriously, it's a forty minute trip, Ally, on a bus, no one likes me there-"

"You will be fine" she interrupts me, waving away my words and bad vibes "It's not that long, you can make it" she says in a cheery voice.

"Betty god damn Brant will be there" I whine and roll my head back in a clear whine, something that expressed my pain completely.

"It's just one person" She says shrugging and still keeping a smile on her face.

"That carries a bunch of parasites, including herself"

"Ro, you will be fine" she laughs and rounds her arms around my shoulders in support "its just a day" she comforts and I wish that those words had some kind on effect on me, because right now they really weren't, I was still as unmotivated as I was before.

"a long day" I whine leaning my head on her shoulder and closing my eyes, looking for some of her happy vibes to pass onto me but it is clearly not working and I feel just a bit desperate.

"Okay, you're grumpy, I get it, geez" She laughs and I feel her shake her head at me.

I mock her, moving my mouth and mimicking her last words with a small and high pitch voice that did not resemble hers at all, but I knew this annoyed her so I did it. Her hand pinches my arm at my mockery and I whine, instantly killing down my mood and making me quiet down.

"Is that a new Hijab?" I ask her, changing the topic, trying to establish a normal conversation.

"Yeah, my mom got it for me, you like it?" She says with a smile, touching a piece of the sky blue silky fabric with the tip of her fingers.

"No, the fabric feels incredibly hot and it's almost summer, you're insane" I say, not being totally serious and touching a little piece of the fabric too. I have always loved this shade of blue, even now when this fabric felt way too hot under this weather "but the color suit you terribly well, you look really pretty" I compliment her and she laughs, taking the compliment with a smile.

"Thanks" she says, totally proud of her color choice for the day "You can borrow it" she says nudging me a little.

"I'll consider it" I chuckle, sitting up straight now to look at her. "I'm gonna miss you" I whine and go to hug her.

She makes her short and sweet and hugs me for a second to then push me away and roll her eyes. "Stop crying" she chuckles at my attitude."You can tell me everything about how it went later, I'll pick up sushi tonight, so I expect you to be in my place at-"

"9" I say. it was Friday today and it was our night for hanging out and eat whatever, but it was no secret that Ally was a punctuality freak and I was always just a bit late to stuff, it was always better to make a deal where I could be on time and she wasn't going crazy at 'how late I was'.

"8:30, sharp" she points at me, getting up from her spot and picking her backpack off the floor.

"I'll do my best" I shrug. Not that I had something to do at that time, but really, being on time wasn't one of my talents.

the bell rings. Oh crap.

"You better" she laughs, rolling her eyes at me and starting to walk her way to the school and away from me. "Good luck on your trip, love you" she says to me, blowing a kiss as she picks up the pace to the insides of the school.

"Love you too I guess" I yell, waving back at her as she leaves "Good luck on your test"

"I'll need it!" she yells back and before I can even notice, I am alone again.

Alone in this really boring day to come. What a luck I have.

By the time I got in that bus, I knew this was going to be the longest ride of my life.

Not only I got to sit beside my uncle, who was just stressing over every little thing around while trying to control the crowd of teenagers all trapped inside of the bus, but from my sit I could still hear Betty's voice, telling the most ridiculous, underwhelming and bland stories I've ever heard in my life, and that was what my trip was meant to be for the next half an hour or so. The ride was too long and painful. I mentally slapped myself various times for not remembering to bring a god damn pair of headphones along with me, to at least conceal the world around me as the trip went on, Instead I had to sit there and listen to not only my arch enemy's 'adventures' but to hear one of the many peep talks my uncle likes to give me from time to time but never on the right occasion, something about being nice and make friends, not only that but also adding a very detailed lesson on how to treat with others while in high school, like if an adult was allowed to give advice about it, I've said this before and I say it now, once you are past thirty, you are out of the young club and my uncle was definitely out and not qualified for this kind of things.

It was a long trip and I was hating every second of it, but I could thank the fact that it was a hint more bearable than I was imagining it because, on the contrary, I would have definitely thrown myself out of that window if that what it took to escape this small portion of hell.

Arriving at the museum was somehow... relieving, not only because finally, stepping out of the bus felt like walking out of a cage, but because this place felt like home to me, a second home that always welcomed me in a really nice way and I would never get tired of it. If only all of my companions knew how to properly appreciate this place, a shame that most of them barely knew what they were looking at, a temple of art, that's what this is. Deep down, I hoped for some of them to have the same appreciation for all of these as I have, or else, I would hate to feel like the trip my uncle planned for so long was just a waste of time.

After an hour of entering the museum, I didn't know if to classify it as a waste of time or if to pat my uncle on the back for doing such a good job with all this. It hasn't gone as bad as I anticipated. Some people showed real interest in the art, while others respectfully sat on the back of everything and decided to ignore all of the tour guide's explanations, which I honestly felt like it was a shame because most of this stories were too damn interesting and these pieces deserved all of the attention. On my side though, I felt bad for being one of those people who just did not want to be there, it felt so unlike me but i couldn't help it, after being at this place so many times I just knew all of it, not wanting to be a smartass, but I knew exactly what the tour guide said and what she was about to say, I've been here many times, I just know it and hearing it for what felt like the thousand times was not making me any sort of entertaining, It gets a little repetitive.

I just really needed a break.

That's why on the way to the second floor of the tour, one way or another I managed to slip out of the small crowd of high school students and just escape, not really caring if my uncle even saw me or not, I walked right out, I needed a minute alone.

I walk to the entrance of the museum, almost running my way past all the people until I reached the stairs on the front of the main doors and sat down on one of them, Lucky enough, I did not hear my name being called on my way out, so I knew I did a magnificent job sneaking out and now had about thirty minutes (or maybe twenty) until someone realized I wasn't there, but I didn't care, I knew I wouldn't get in trouble, I wasn't getting lost anyways.

I take a deep breath, a tension relieving my shoulders as I savor my moment alone, finally being able to properly breathe without about 50 people around me. This was my moment, I dig in my pocket, my mind tickling in excitement for what is to be my first treat of the day, I pull out the pack of mint cigarettes from my pocket and with a few swift moves I already knew by heart, I was taking the greatest advantage of my solitude while I could. The first drag felt like heaven, just like it should be every day.

I've been into this habit for about two years, maybe less, and the fact that I killed me every time I did it was not stopping me from doing it at all. Oddly, I enjoyed it, even when I knew how bad it was, It was my little guilty pleasure and I would enjoy it until I felt it was enough.

"oh la la, lady, you're missing the tour" I heard a voice say to me directly on my back, as I blew away my first cloud of poison, totally ruining my small moment of relaxation and making me curse under my breathe.

"Get lost Flash" I groan, placing the cigarette between my lips and leaving it there, taking along and deep breath in with it. Hopefully, it will relax me a little more now that my peace has been broken.

Flash, the most annoying guy of the school and my classmate since forever, sat beside me with a smile on his face, slightly violating my personal space and making mind fume at his unspoken annoyance, only the fact of having him around was annoying.

I glare heavily sending him hell with my eyes and telling him to go anywhere but here.

he laughs with sarcasm on his voice "You know this is the street right? I think I am allowed as a citizen to sit on a public-"

"You are and yes you can sit wherever, but not with me" I cut him off, rolling my eyes and moving away from him just a bit, trying to get back some of my personal space.

"C'mon Rory, that's a bit harsh isn't it?" he says shaking head and sliding closer again "Can I have one of those?" he whispers to me, I can sense that small desperation on his voice, that let me know that he meant this but still has never smoked before, which also meant, he wanted to blend in or just look cool in my eyes or.. someone's eyes I guess.

I blow smoke on his face, he coughs "I mean it, get lost" I say, bumping my shoulder with his, trying to get him to catch the hint and slide away.

"I'm trying to be friendly here, ok?" he says, still coughing a little and not moving an inch away "A little company never hurts" he says to me and smiles. I don't think anyone would ever like his company.

"Okay" I shrug, deciding to try and ignore him.

"I see you around all of the time and you wanna know what I see?" he tries to start up a conversation and getting all comfy in there.

"No?" I mumble, smoking a bit more, looking away at the streets of new york, just concentrating on anything but him.

"I see a loner" he says, nothing that I don't know already, I stay silent "Why is that Rory?" he asks making his voice change as he speaks. His hand raises up and caresses my cheek softly "Such a pretty face doesn't deserve that"

"Gross" I say flinching back, throwing a look at him.

"See, I get how you feel" he keeps going, ignoring my gestures of disgust while speaking "Sometimes I feel like the world doesn't really get me, people talk, they say good things, bad things, but what I really need for me and what keeps me going is to have someone I can talk to"

my eyebrow raises "Are you trying to tell me you...?"

"I think we can be good friends, Rory" he says with a weird smile on his face "Something more if you let me" He tries to reach for my hand but I move it away, quickly.

"Last year you spread the rumor I was selling weed to all of your friends and I almost got spelled" I say with certain anger in my voice, a hint of mockery behind my words "Not only that but accused me of "breaking" your ankle last spring and for that I got suspended from the cheerleading team" I say, his face losing that smile as I talk "Do you really think I would ever think of going somewhere with you?"

Everything I said was true, I had no interest for someone who just ruined one of the things I loved the most and on top of that, also liked to invent rumors of other people based on things that weren't true. Flash could go eat shit.

"Okay, first of all, I am completely sure it was you who stepped on my foot that day" he says in his own defense.

"And I am completely sure it was you who was taking pictures of my ass behind my back" I glance at him with a big frown.

"Rory that was- pff, that wasn't me, not anymore" he excuses, forcing a smile and trying to hug me from the side "I am a different person now"

"Are you? Are you really?" I say trying to shake him off my shoulders.

"Let me take you out" he says, again, totally ignoring my complains "Tomorrow after school, I'll take you to the red lobster, I've heard you love it, We can go bowling after that, take a walk around the city, get ice cream, It will be really great, we could even-"

As he keeps on speaking I look around for any kind of help I can have to send him off my sight, immediately, but not one familiar face is around, instead, I see a giant woman approaching my way, one that wore the security's uniform and was directly looking at my way. a flash of panic slashes in my head, If my uncle found out and told me, parents... shit.

"Oh crap" I say, moving away from Flash and hiding my hand with the cigarette to a spot that was somehow out of sight "Flash, shush" I tell him, looking away and acting natural.

"What? what? what?" he says in panic at my change of attitude "You don't like it, because I can totally change it, I get it, you might like to go a little edgier, Um, we could go hiking, at night, Fun right?"

"Shut up" I groan to him in a deep mumble.

My heart skips a beat when a hand taps my shoulder twice.

"Excuse me" says a deep woman's voice beside me. Flash turns around and looks up at her, but she doesn't acknowledge him, she's waiting for my response.

"Shit" I say under my breath as I turn around and putting my best casual smile on my face "Hello"

a fake smile appears on her face, letting me know that she was not in the mood today even when I haven't said a thing at all, yet. She points at the hidden hand beside my leg and with a fake kind smile she says "I'm gonna have to ask you to lose that, ma'am, we don't allow smoking in this facility"

I smile a bit more as I say "But I'm not in the facility" I say looking around "This is the street"

"Allow me to reiterate that" she hawks and says one more time "This area is museum property and smoking is forbidden, also, I can see you are clearly underage so unless you want me to call your guardians, I'm going to ask you to lose that"

I wish I had the words to get around it, but seeing that walking away from here was basically asking for trouble and that calling my parents would be literally the death of me, I smash my cigarette down on the concrete beneath my feet and step on it "Fine" I groan, tapping my foot on the cigarette. My addiction was still tickling inside of me, this was just like if someone had given me candy and then took it away from me, so mean.

"so um, Can you tell me where the smoking area is, uh.." I ask looking up to the woman and looking at the batch in her shirt "Karol" I say with a small smile on my lips.

"That would be the park" She says now standing up straight and walking away from me.

I curse under my breath, there is no park nearby.

Bitch, just... bitch.

I turn to my side, to find Flash still beside me and with raised eyebrows, looking at my pissed face and then smiling, as if that was going to make me feel better. Now I definitely did not want to deal with him.

"Honestly, get lost" I snap at him, Turning my back on him and waiting for him to react.

"So what about lunch?" he keeps on totally getting past my annoyance "We can grab lunch together-"

"Goodbye" I say in a very angry tone. Walking as far away from him and into the museum to get lost myself.

This day just kept getting better and better.

Flash could go to hell along with all of his friends and bad quality flirting, that's pretty much how I can sum up my feeling about this whole situation. Something about him really trying to get me to like him and also trying to get me past the fact he has done things that really make me despise him more and more all of the time, oh gosh, it makes me want to go back and kick him in the face, he was awful and stupid and an arrogant ass who really put himself in a pedestal that no one cared about. Flash can suck a dick.

My head is throbbing and my hands fidget as I walk around the museum, half hoping to run into my class but also hoping to not, because that only meant finding Flash again and him talking to me, I would very much like to avoid that at any costs.

I walk around the familiar hallways, from time to time stopping to see the art and the others to keep walking and pretend I am looking for my class and I got lost, which is obviously not true. However, on the inside, my head was killing me and I would give anything to just go out there and smoke. I know this is a sign, that I was getting too anxious for an addiction that was over me at a young age but it wasn't completely about the cigarette at all, it was more about the fact that I started something and never finished, that was getting on my nerves and driving me crazy and if smoking a cigarette would make that tone down, then fuck me, I need to smoke.

I take the elevator, the one that is usually only available for certain people that were obviously not high school students with bad habits, but luckily no one noticed me, I just get in and press a button up, waiting for the doors to close and get me where I need to go, quickly.

I could say I know this place like the palm of my hands, When the elevator opened all I had to do is lead myself through a couple of hallways that were nearly empty, which was understandable, it was still early for people to come to the museum, so it was easier for me to avoid any kind of thing that slowed me down, I just walked right in, slid past the security man -which is easier than it sounds like- that guarded the area I was aiming for and carefully, closed the door behind me and closed my eyes at the quietness and stillness of the place.

The gardens. My favorite place in the world.

This was the kind of place that only opened at a certain time of the day to the public, but it really didn't matter what time it was, it was always as beautiful as the minute before. My favorite place. I wish I could stay here for the rest of the morning and enjoy the day here instead of going back with the class but unfortunately, my time here was limited and I would use it for what it mattered.

I walk through the place making sure I stood close to the walls, knowing that this way I wouldn't get caught by the cameras around. I make my way through the top left corner of the gardens, where I knew there was a little passage usually only the janitors went in, but I knew there was a little place I could go in and be alone for a couple minutes.

Outside and last but not least, in peace.

I sit in one of the corners of the room, always away from the camera and wait, just to make sure my breathing was the only sound around. After a couple of minutes, I know I am alone, just like I wanted to, so I light up my cigarette and smoke, smoke until my head relaxes and my hands stop shaking. This is what true relaxation feels like.

I keep myself in there for about ten minutes, smoking, letting the tension leave my body until I feel like it's the right time and turn my cigarette off.

There's a sound, at my left, steps, a lot of them and the voices there do not sound like janitors. I hide behind a big gap on the wall, that I have always been sitting next to but did not consider getting in. I could have been paranoid, it was just noises, but this was a closed area and the janitors clearly already made their round judging by how clean this place was already. Something felt off, Made me nervous.

There is male voices whispering to each other, speaking quietly and really close to the wall, just like I did when I got inside, whoever these people were, they didn't want to get caught. I catch a glimpse of one of their faces when they walk beside the gap of the wall, I freeze in place, staying as quietly as possible, they clearly don't see me since I was sitting down and the place carried a fair amount of darkness to keep me hiding. Good.

"How long?" one of them said to another. I could hear things moving here and there but couldn't put my finger on what the hell they were doing.

"10 minutes or so" says a deeper voice. Again those sounds, things moving and some strange sound of ripped out cables touching each other.

"Let's go over it, one more time" says the voice I heard first "third floor, a bomb goes off, everyone sleeps, we're invisible"

Bomb?. What bomb?. Oh crap.

"Bingo" that deep voice says with a chuckle.

My hands shake, but I manage to keep my breathing steady and invisible. These guys are criminals, "How did you manage to hide the thing?" asks the first voice.

"It's in the air bent, no one will see it" his friend says with some arrogance in his voice "Plus, I figured it would make a better distribution of our new baby"

These fuckers planted a gas bomb on the air bent, that's why no one saw it, that's how everyone would sleep. They are insane, just, insane.

"Sweet" the guy laughs and I hear their hands clapping together "Hurry then, Let's get this started"

With that, I just hear steps, on and on and on, until they banish entirely and I am left alone again. I peek my head out carefully, to discover that I am indeed alone now, the criminals must have used some entrance around that I didn't know about and they are getting away with it just like so.

Holy crap.

My voice trembles "What the he-"

A smaller exploding sound ignites by my side, quite enough to not leave the room but still taking me by surprise and catching me totally off guard. Then there's another, and another one, the security cameras are blowing up. They are making themselves invisible.

I have to warn everyone.

I don't know how or when I got so fast. But the second I step out of the gardens I take the stairs all the way down to the third floor and as fast as my quick can carry me, it takes me about five full minutes to find my uncle and all my class in the middle of the hallway, which was a relief because this floor itself was really big, but also because we didn't have much time and I had to tell him about what I saw before something happened.

He smiles at the tour guide lady, as he pretends to be overly interested on her explanations and trying to get the others in the class as excited as he was, apparently he didn't even notice I was gone all of this time, but the moment he catches my worried eyes all he does is smile at me and signaling me to come over. He had no idea.

"Uncle- oh uh, Mr. harrington" I stutter, walking up to him directly and with a serious tone, I needed him to know this was serious "Sir, I need to talk to you" I say when I know I had his attention.

"Not the moment, Rory" He says with a weird laugh as he pulls me into a hug and makes me turn around to the tour guide as if he was trying to turn all my attention on her. "I didn't see you around, I figured you would be behind us, are you having fun?" he asks sweetly and I get it, it's sweet that he cares about me this much, but right now, I need him to listen.

"I need to tell you something" I say, keeping my voice down in a mumble.

"You're bored" he says, instantly interpreting my words in a wrong way "I get that you've seen this a ton but not everyone has, don't cut the vibes off"

"It's important" I say, doing my best to keep it together and not snap at him even when he was being a total dick.

"Art is important!" he says in an overly excited voice as he tightens the hug "Enjoy it, Visualise it"

"Uncle-" I say pulling away from him.

"Sh sh sh, this is the best one" he shushes me. My hands shake, even more, we were running out of time and he isn't listening to me at all.

"You don't get it-" I snap and then there's yelling, people running and we are all lost and confused. I didn't get the chance to warn them.

No one really understands what is going on, but just like if someone had given them a command, everyone in my class starts crowding up, trying to look for some source of protection with each other. My uncle starts giving orders, telling everyone to calm down and remains where they were until security came but there was not a guard around the place, just us, just a bunch of people panicking and not knowing what the hell to do.

Power goes out and before everyone can start panicking again, there's smoke coming out from one of the air vents across the hall, I cover my mouth and nose instantly, scared of what that might be but others don't do the same as me and I can see from afar how some people start just passing out just like so. This is what they meant, they're putting everyone to sleep.

"Ladies and gentlemen, stay where you are and no one needs to get hurt today" Says one of the voices I heard when I was back at the gardens. There are two figures walking towards us, the people who were still awake, they are armed and have masks. Whatever they are planning to do, they are ready.

Some of the masked men start barking orders at us. I barely listen to any of them, but my feet move without me realizing I was even doing it, I just follow what they say and make my best to be invisible.

We are lined up against one of the walls, the fog is making its way towards us and sleeping all the people who breathe in the scent. I don't know if it was some kind of poison but I refused to let that thing come over here.

I barely realize what is really happening, but when I see the men walk towards the other end of the hallway where their first victims fell, I start scanning the room carefully. There had to be something else around, it's impossible that these guys only set one bomb on the whole floor when this portion of the building was so big. There had to be another one.

I see it.

I see its light, pink and bright, beeping through the entrance of the air bent and counting down god knows how many seconds. I had to do something about it, I can't let it put more people down.

There are more men participating in this robbery, I believe, because I don't only see one mask in the darkness of the room but plenty. They must have been undercover but even when they were not the majority they were still enough to control a crowd.

There are a yell and guns being shot, everyone panic and I hear girls crying, girls from my class, some people are praying and others just keeping their panic inside themselves. I guess I am one of them. I peek to see what's going on and I see what it is.

Another person is here, dressed in a onesie from head to toe and moving around the place with incredible ability. Some of the criminals are now down.

Oh shit.

Is that the Spider-man?.

I don't even have the time to fully have a reaction, because a door is being open and like animals endangered, everyone starts running to it and hurrying to get out, catching me off guard and sending me to the floor. I do my best to get up from the floor as everyone rushes out, I do a quick check-up, no one from my class is around and I can't see my uncle, I guess he had run with everyone else on their way out but in between the panic there was a lot of fighting in between and it was just one person against everything.

I had to help in some way.

When I say I know this place like the palm of my hand I mean it. I run towards a direction I know really well and grab one of the pieces I know that will help me on my little mission. That really large stick of wood in the exhibition, painted in vivid colors that no one really cared about, it's perfect for what I am about to do.

I move to the center of the room quickly, dragging one of the chairs that were sitting around the room as well. I am quick on what I do. I place the chair beneath the air bent and get on it, trying to reach the air vent with the stick but it's still too tall just one more inch...

"MOVE MOVE MOVE" a voice says behind me and before I can get back to what I was doing, someone knocks me down and I fell onto the floor.

My shoulder bangs hard on the wood covered floor and the pain rushes on my arm as soon as I hit the floor. I turn my head to the side. That masked guy is helping me up quickly and shooting one of his webs onto some guys face that was apparently coming to grab me from behind while I wasn't looking, and even when I should be grateful he's here to help, there is still shit I need to do and he is not letting me.

"What are you doing?!" I yell in frustration, facing the Spiderman directly.

"you're in the way m'ma" he says to me and grabs my shoulders, trying to get me to walk away to the entrance with the other people, but I refuse.

"no I wasn't! There's another bomb in the air vent!" I yell again and go back to the stacked chair I put in there.

"Please, get with the others, I'll take care of-" he begs, talking fast.

"Oh for god's sake" I yell in anger, as I turn around and go back to what I was doing.

I get on the chair and with the edge of the multi-million dollar stick, I knock the air bent off, jumping out of the way quickly as the ticking bomb falls to the floor.

There it is, in all it's glory. It hasn't gone off yet but it is still ticking and there is a big 1:45 on the screen and counting backward. We had to act quickly.

Just like if I had said it out loud, the spiderman starts shooting and shooting webs, covering the bomb entirely until Its almost completely covered and there aren't many gaps showing it's material. But when it goes off it is still enough to send us both flying on the floor, in the same direction, making me land on him.

His masked face looks at me and moves me away from his body and helping me up, seeing that the bad guys were still stealing the art from the place and he could not let them get away with it.

"Go with the others" He says as an order in clear words and my eyes widen. That voice, I know it, but from where?.

I try to speak but when he grabs my shoulders and tries to turn me around so I could walk out I see it. He has the biggest gap on his suit, cutting through the fabric around this torso and it was bleeding like hell.

"You're bleeding" I say trying to turn around to see the wound more closely, not wanting to be noisy but I felt the need to help. Now was not the moment though.

"Go!" He yells in frustration, pushing me out of the way and running towards the criminals, that pointed their guns at him.

I ran away at the sight of guns, run and run until I don't hear them anymore and before I can realize, I am on the outsides of the museum and my uncle is crashing me into his arms, praying to god, thinking that I was in okay, but little did he know. I wasn't. My head was messed up.

In my head, I was just processing what just went down. The bombs, the shooting, that people that were knocked out, I could only hope they were okay and inside of me, my conscious felt half serene because I helped and I was grateful I had the chance to do something so things couldn't get worse.

But there was still something in my conscience that bothered me and it was that guy, he was hurt, seriously hurt by god knows what and he was there, bleeding himself out and fighting bad guys, I want to help, I wish to help just like he does with a lot of other people.

I should be able to help, but how?.

However, I know that voice, I have known that voice for a long time and I could be wrong but I am almost entirely sure It has been around me for a long while, but I can't put my finger on it, I can't get my head to recognize it even when I know, I've heard it, plenty of times.

and inside of me, I can only think.

Who is the Spiderman?

#tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #marvel imagines #peter parker imagines #peter parker #peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction

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papersandkeyboards · 5 years

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5/31 to 6/5: (everything else and) Prom

36th WEEK, MAY 31-JUNE 5, 2016.

English class has always been interesting to me. If I think about it, English class (be it here as a first language, or back home as a second language) is always more fun than Indonesian Language class back home. In my class in Rainier Beach, which is IB English Language and Literature, we read classics and Shakespearean plays and interpret those. (don’t get me wrong, I had to read The Scarlett Letter for English Lang class during my short stop in Houston and it was painful, but something about how English teachers’ way of teaching is so interesting and, of course, not boring)

For the semester’s big project, however, we were told to make podcasts. About anything.

I understand that podcasts aren’t much of a thing in Indo, but the simplest way to explain podcasts in a nutshell is audio lectures, audio books, discussions, serial stories, or anything about a topic. And honestly, it’s not even just lectures. You can talk about anything in a podcast (in my Theory of Knowledge class, we listened to a series of online podcasts entitled “Serial”, which covers a story for each season that is told in an interesting and comprehensive way).

But this time, Mrs. Shaw doesn’t limit us to just audio, but we can put visuals in it as well. So, basically saying, our big project was to make an audio or video file talking about things which has our arguments in it. And we could do it individually or in groups of three, max.

Me, being myself who essentially resents group works can be quite an individualist, of course, decided to do the podcast by myself.

And me, being myself who almost always aims to be anti-mainstream, chose a topic that most people would hate and throw rocks to after the first glance.

I argued that zoos aren’t necessarily inhumane to animals. For a side that believed that zoos are downright cruel and disgusting, I stood against them.

Of course I know people aren’t always going to agree with me, but as a (used-to-be) debater, I tried to smother everything in good wording (and some solid arguments can i get a hell yeah), and at the end, all I need to be satisfied was Mrs. Shaw saying “you got a point.” (aka “hmm iya juga ya”).

It was an enjoyable school task to do. Ehe.

Anyway, the next two days, Wednesday and Thursday, were two sacred days we all students acknowledged dearly as Early Release days. The neverending amazement of Seattle has turned me into somewhat a Dora the Explorer, even though it was clear that I have always been a damn-straight home person back home. Would rather stay home that being somewhere else.

But an exchange student logic was that you’re missing a lot of you spend a lot of time at home.

So Kira and I hit the waterfront and rode the Seattle Ferris Wheel.

And the next day I spent by myself, visiting the Seattle Art Museum and indulging my fangirl side by watching X-Men: Apocalypse.

Remember I mentioned once that it was the time of SIFF—Seattle International Film Festival?

Karen, Eric, and I looked up the showtimes and movies, trying to find anything interesting, and of course the choice went to an Indonesian movie, entitled “Copy of My Mind”, so we watched it on Friday evening.

It never occured to me that films in film festivals aren’t those up the regular theaters. Most of them are months old before the time of the festival itself, some even a year old or more. But I guess that’s the point of having film festivals: as a platform to promote films, because almost all of them don’t include big starry actor names, and all of them aren’t in a franchise.

Copy of My Mind, however, was starred by Chico Jericho and Tara Basro (blame was on me for just recognizing these names for the first time), and soon after the movie started, I got why I’ve never heard of this film before back home: it would never be able to air in Indonesia. Simple as that.

As usual, my movie-goer sense was so much indulged in cheap plots of franchise films where every message is shown explicitly during the film with a mandatory happy ending and a bonus of occasional car explosion, so when I saw the ending of Copy of My Mind, I was disappointed. I didn’t get the message.

(later I googled the film and it turned out to be a hard-core social and political satire towards my own country) (so yeah, go watch it guys) (majukan perfilman indonesia)

On Sunday, I was reminded by the remaining days I have by attending Nouha’s goodbye party. She would leave three days after the goodbye party, which is June 8, and I’m still staying here until the end of the month, but surely it sucks to remember that you have to leave eventually.

But the goodbye party was a fun one—sliders, chips, other typical tasty American barbecue snacks in the backyard, people bringing going-away presents, and of course, pictures.

(I swear the pictures were up somewhere but now I couldn’t find them)

---

Aight. That’s quite a brief (???) summary of how the first 5 days of the week went. Whereas I usually said the fun part comes in the weekend, this WHOLE week was full of fun and things to do (thank God for early release). HOWEVER, though, however,

this weekend was Prom.

That’s right, everyone, you heard it. The infamous American High School Prom.

....

Gitu aja sih. Ehe. OKAY. Prom in Beach... was definitely UNLIKE Proms in other, harshly saying, white rich school everywhere else. But the part where people ask other people to Prom, well, that was done everywhere, I guess.

I was walking the hallway when Rebecca and the others stopped by and Rebecca asked me, “Nabila, who are you going to Prom with?”

“...????? I don’t know??? No one asked me to.”

“It’s America, you can do whatever you want. Why don’t you ask somebody?”

yaela yang bener aja lu dasar ampas kepala.

Jadi gini sih. The way Prom works (or at least in my school) is that only the seniors are invited, unless the seniors ask somebody else from other grades—juniors, sophomores, freshmen, or people from other school—to be their prom date, then those persons are also invited. And I know Kira is a junior, so I asked Kira as my prom date so she can experience prom and everybody is happy. Also because Rebecca and Emily were committees so there are fellow juniors there. yaela padahal karena emang gaada yang ngajak dan akhirnya ngajak temen sendiri supaya tidak garing

I didn’t take too much trouble setting up a promposal—Prom proposal—unlike those who are seriously dating—a friend from Theory of Knowledge class made a poster and got his football team to promposed his girlfriend, it was very sweet—and because I was an awkward unromantic piece of shit, I asked Kira to be my prom date during stretching before softball game.

She was appalled. At least she wasn’t repelled, which was good. Good thing she didn’t expect a canon of flowers or posters or an orchestra playing for her to be promposed.

And that’s the story on how I got my prom date.

Which was totally not unusual, because at Prom night I found out that Alex asked Justin, a junior, so that Justin can experience Prom with his senior fellows too. Zion, who is gay, asked Nina out of friendship. A lot of people do that that night. Many people even went with their squads instead of being in pairs.

When Kira was scrolling through numerous online shops to find a dress, I bought mine in Nordstrom Rack—which was basically Nordstrom but they sell old stuff that were cheaper (because I didn’t feel like spending hundreds of bucks on a dress I’m gonna wear, like, once or twice for my whole life). Not only I bought it in Nordstrom Rack, I also bought it last Febuary, which was before Winter Ball. That being said, I used the same dress as what I wore for Winter Ball. Which was good, because I didn’t want to waste money on dress I would most likely use once. The admission ticket was around $40 anyway, while other schools my AFS friends were in charged around $80-100 for it. sekolah saya miskin emang, tapi asik.

Sementara ada temen-temen saya yang ‘melamar Prom’ pakai poster, bunga, permen karet (dia nawarin sekotak permen karet gitu trus pas dibuka ada tulisannya ‘Prom?’ trus dikasih bunga, lucu abis sih), ada juga temen yang asal ngajak cewek manapun yang kebetulan lewat, dan kalau ditolak, geser dikit trus ngajak cewek lain terdekat. But then again, I didn’t know how significant a prom date is—whether being asked to be prom date equals being asked to be one’s girl/boyfriend, or is it just a one-time occasion thing?

Whatever it was, I do know that at least Prom in Rainier Beach High School doesn’t shun single people. Yay. Nabila can go to Prom without worries.

HOWEVER.

However, around a week before Prom, I found out that Indonesian Students’ Association of Seattle University (ISASU), which was like a couple blocks from my house, was holding some sort of event, and guess who came as a guest star.

....

NO.

I DO NOT LIKE HOW THIS TURNS OUT.

I REALLY DON’T.

After contemplating which one is rarer: to experience a classic American high school Prom night every exchange student wants to be a part of or meet a massive Indonesian dazzling pop-star in person, I did what I thought was best for me: I chose Prom and let go of Raisa, with the arrogance of “I’m Indonesian, she’s Indonesian, we’ll meet again but I only have this one chance for Prom” without realizing that that will least likely to happen.

I came to Kira’s house on Saturday afternoon, June 4, 2016, and ate Indomie for pre-Prom dinner (Prom dinner paling tidak modal sepanjang sejarah manusia). Then we had a photoshoot in which Kira and I look like a happy couple of lovers. Then Laura drove us to the venue. Which was a not-so-big space in SoDo but enough for the whole class lah.

(pic credit to whoever took this)

Long story short, it was fun. At first it wasn’t really because both Kira and I did not know many seniors despite some people I recognize from classes I am in, so we talked with Emily and Rebecca. Then people I know started to show up—Nina, Justin, Zion, Alex, Gretar, and others—and we danced. What was fun about it was that everyone didn’t dance with their dates, but mixed in into big groups of friends and was having a pure hyped-fun time instead of a romantic one. (not to brag but Nina and I did some duets and we were killing it) (kapan lagi bisa hacep dan meliar kaya begini ya)

The King and Queen of Prom, instead of voting, was done by a raffle (maybe so that everyone can get a chance instead of a cliche competition of popularity). Rony got King and Antoneyah got Queen. There was also two photo booths, an elegant one with a sofa and a fun one like a photobox along with hats and fake mustache and other stuff you could use.

(’twas Rebecca, Emily, Rony the playboy, me, and Kira)

(terus baru 3 tahun kemudian AFS menggerayangkan gerakan AFSPride)

(mampos kenapa w pendek sekali, bahkan dalam standar orang indonesia)

(tUH udah naik tangga pun masi lebih pendek)

THEN, the event continued for whoever wants to join everyone to the Seattle Ferris Wheel, while free tickets were provided! We sporadically went to the Ferris Wheel by Uber—some people didn’t come due to curfew and probably an after-party somewhere (I finally convinced Kira to join after many considerations. Since the Wheel was closer to my house, she agreed to crash in my house after).

Lucu banget aih. Anak-anak remaja pakai baju-baju bagus, sebagain berpasang-pasangan, dan sebagian lagi bergerombol kelompok, dan rame-rame masuk ke kereta Bianglala.

(’twas Gretar, Alex, Justin, me, Kira, Zion, and Mohamed)

Kapan lagi kaya gini huhuhu seneng.

It was—I don’t remember—a bit after midnight? After we were done Kira and I took an Uber back to my house, had ice cream in my bed while watching Monsters University, and fell asleep halfway through the movie (and my laptop ran out of battery).

---

Aaaand that’s probably as close I could ever be with Raisa: in the same city, neighboring neighborhood.

But at least, thinking back, I would not trade the experience I just had with anything else.

Salam dari penghadir Prom Rainier Beach High School dengan style hijab paling cantik (karena memang satu-satunya),

Nabila Safitri.

#langkahanakbangsa #rbhs #prom

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kendrixtermina · 5 years

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Disclaimer For Potential Partners (f/m/x)

Writing this down as much to gather my thoughts and go into this with clear priorities as for possible future reference.

My mother always told me that if you wanted everyone to like you, you’d have to be a 50 dollar bill. I have come to accept that I’m more like licorice. Some people aren’t gonna like me but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who would appreciate me.

I’d rather you run away screaming NOW than in three years when we’re both invested so Let’s get all this out of the way:

I’m bisexual. Yes, I’ve dated dudes in the past. I’ve had a brief online flirt with an agender person and do think androgynous ppl are hot which I suppose would make me pan in some ppl’s books, at this point the choice in label is purely aesthetic. I’m looking for a female partner right now because I’ve always had a slight preference for girls anyways but a sufficiently compatible non-female would not be refused.

Because ppl have gotten this wrong in the past: Preference is about how likely you are to notice that someone is hot in the first place like in the early stages. It doesn’t mean my attachment to those dudes was any less “real” (or the other way around!) I just flat out don’t care whats in your pants there are other things to be picky about

From since I was young, the message I got from music, books etc is that it’s pretty bad to say “I love you” unless you truly mean it. So I don’t say “I love you” until I’m 100% sure I can do that it good conscience. It seems that it takes me a bit longer to be sure than most people, but it’s not like I’ve conducted statistics on this

I’m not vegan/vegetarian and I’m never going to be vegan/vegetarian

I’m not a pet person

I’m not a sporty person and I’m never going to be a sporty person

Go through my stuff, spy on me in any way or ask me to tell you where I am at all times and its over

I’m an antiprohibitionist and don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with taking recreational substances. Conversely, I’m not interested in that sort of thing as a full-on lifestyle either.

I try to keep an open mind and try everything once but im probably not gonna reorganize my life around new age woo-woo.

So far my folks have liked most my partners, but if our social circles don’t get along I’m comfortable with leaving them separate.

I believe in judging people as individuals first. I don’t wanna hear no paranoid shit about “the muslims” or other stereotypical carricatures but if you’re gonna be “europeans that europeans this” as if im not in the room its not gonna work.

Don’t be fooled by the foreign-sounding surname im a potato through and through. No exotic fanservice to be had here.

Barring unforseen dictatorships, I don’t want to move out of Europe. I like it here. Its full of frustrating dumbasses but so is the rest of the world. Yay for cheese and consumer protection laws! I would consider moving closer to the shore though.

It’s fine if you don’t speak German but you should not hate or dislike it. English is a plus because me, my friends and my family are into internet culture

I haven’t spoken to my father in five years. No, you’re not going to patch this up. You don’t have to ignore him too if you’re not comfortable but you’ll have to respect my choice instead of playing family therapist or throwing platitudes about forgiveness at me.

Im not counting and it depends on your definition but Ive fucked at least 15-20 people, which according to statistics is above average? Always used rubber unless it was long-term and exclusive tho. That might bother some ppl.

That said it has been my conclusion that fucking does nothing that a beer can’t do and that the real quality stuff is what you could already do as a grade schooler when you still thought of all the grownup stuff as mystical. Having ice cream together, exploring new places, having contemplative conversations in the rain, telling each other your fantasies? That’s The Stuff.

Hence while I wouldn’t turn down some fuckage along the way what im looking for at this point is someone to share life and grow old with, like there doesn’t need to be the expectation of further strings but the end goal RN is to find One That Sparks Joy(TM) that will get precedence

I’m not big on material gifts or the ritual part of dating if thats important to you I might not be the ideal candidate, but if its not thats probably good for your wallet

I’m a strong introvert. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to anyone other than my boss or maybe texting my relatives. If you’re very introverted or work alot this might be an advantage. Of course if I love you I will try my best to match up to your attention needs but if you need your partner to text you 15 times every day to feel good I might just not be your cup of tea

That doesn’t mean im not interested in going on or doing new experiences. I very much hope to do that together with you just not 5 days a week - if you can’t give new things wholehearted tries things might get uncomfortable

I like spicy food and all sort of asian cousine, but if you can’t stand the sight of cheese, asparagus and sausage it’s not gonna work either. I can obviously put less chili in your portion.

I tend to talk fast and I find it hard to stop it even if I try, if that bothers you look elsewhere

I cannot stand forced optimism OR over-the top misanthropy or snobbishness. I will gush about things, but I like my dark edgy content and I stand by it. It is an advantage if you like talking about art. If you don’t like morbid humor that might be a problem

No diet talk

No perfectionism

No passive aggressive ppl or ppl that are uncomfortable with direct confrontation. That won’t work, we’d just set each other off even without meaning to and it would just be sad. If Im doing something wrong don’t expect me to notice by magic, tell me to my face so I can fix it. Don’t be hostile out of nowhere and don’t beat around the bush.

im not religious or spiritual. I don’t mind if you are but if you want to have kids and bring them up strongly-immersed in some Abrahamic faith im not sure if this is the right adress

No anti-intellectualism (no snobbery, elitism or smartassery either - as a wise pig once said, “Knowledge is a horizon to strive for, not a prize to hold in your hand” It begins with realizing what you don’t know)

Indifferent about monogamy, but I wouldn’t say that I’m the sort of person who needs non-monogamy either. If you want to we can do it (write me out some list of where you draw the lines so there’s no misunderstandings) but if you don’t it’s no biggie. I don’t care if you fuck 10 other people - for me, respect, honor and loyalty are to do with other things, like, don’t make fun of me and don’t expect me to change because one (1) person said I’m weird or whatever.

Don’t give me diseases tho. I’ll take precautions to extend the same courtesy to you.

Potential character flaws: I can be a tad sensitive, disorganized and defensive sometimes, not gonna sugarcoat it. I have no filter and curse like a sailor. Also I have zero social skills and sometimes I come across as either angry or unemotional when its really the opposite. I find that just as confusing and contradictory as that sounds, I have like zero sense of how I come off. I try to be aware of all of these and do right to everyone to the best of my ability but if you’re sensitive about any of these point someone else might be a better fit

2 kids max. I’m not sure I’ll have ANY at this point, and most certainly not in the next 5 years. IF we decide to have some later I volunteer to carry them though, I probably have good genes, my mom popped out 4 babies in 6 years with nary a complication. Besides I’d rather it was me dealing with the gross pregnancy stuff than someone I love

My favorite bedroom stuff is fingers-in-front-cavity and butt stuff. Mild sleepsex fetish but nothing super pronounced. What I don’t like or just am not very good at is top/bottom play.

So far most my partners have had somewhat stronger sex drive than me but Id argue that I very much have one and ive never refused unless I was in physical pain, severely sleep-deprived or working on some important work-related thing that was due the next day.

It’s important - and science backs me up on this - that you can freely talk to each other in n open, natural and relaxed manner

If you think im weird just do us both the favor and stay away don’t come at me with the attitude that you’re gonna mold me to your desires - even just writing this comes off kinda touchy but im saying this because some people out there really don’t get it. Like my natural tendency is to be open, courious and realistic, but some people see that as free real estate and then it falls to me to be the reasonable one and End The Madness and im tired of that.

Like I want to be able to give love and pour out all my inner romantic shit without having to be afraid of being fucked over I want to be able to trust you with my inner harley quinn as well as my inner phantom of the opera

UGH that sounded a bit tryhard didn’t it? But its the best description i could come up with

Must remember to translate this into mordor speak later

#feelings #love #datefriend acquisition project

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glasses-and-anxiety · 5 years

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let’s talk about my depressing life

ok so basically let’s start with me being born jkjk we’re not doing that.

so I kno no ones gonna read this but I have to vent somehow right?

TRIGGER WARNING

mentions of suicide and overdosing, mental health issues, anxiety

so we’re gonna start with mental health issues yay. it seems like everyone has them, especially on this goddamn site.

so basically sometime around a year ago (july 2018) I was put into an inpatient facility under a form 1.

(don’t drag me I haven’t done any research and this was a while ago)

I’ve had anxiety since I can remember. in SK (I was like 5 or 6 idk) I wouldn’t speak to my teachers cuz I was too scared. I have a vivid memory from grade 4 (9 yrs old or smth) when I cried in front of the class cuz my teacher picked on me to answer a question (I didnt have my hand up but that’s another issue I can rant about later)

I switched schools for grade 5 which made my anxiety rise but it was a private school so they had all sorts of thing around that stuff and eventually I got a lot better than I was before. the school however ended at grade 8 and I’d have to switch for high school.

so the summer between grade 8 and 9 a lot of things happened.

(my birthday is over the summer so I had just turned 14)

for the past like year I had been... idk how to say this... like casually contemplating suicide which led to actually contemplating suicide kind of thing. like I don’t want to say I was that serious about it. I mean I looked up stuff about overdose and shit so I guess I was serious about it, but I just don’t like to say so.

anyway keep in mind I had done research about how much it takes to overdose so I knew about what I would survive. so that summer I went and overdosed on a fuckton of advil and melatonin, but obviously not enough to kill u since I’m here telling the story.

it rly should have fucked up my insides at least a bit, but I knew it wouldn’t even come close to killing me. don’t get me wrong it hurt like I bitch, but I didn’t even have to like get any medical care from the hospital. all they did was check my vitals, nothing was actually like put into me (I did throw up a lot before the ambulance came tho)

anyway I’m out of town atm so it’s not a very state of the art hospital. I am in ontario but the hospital isn’t even close to busy. it’s practically abandoned (that was scarier than being worried I’m gonna die). the doctor who has no idea who I am comes in talks to me for about 3 minutes and decided I need to be placed under a form one because I’m either a danger to myself or to others (obviously it was meant for the former). like 3 fucking minutes to decide whether or not to fucking detain me? bullshit

(obv I’m biased since I didn’t want that outcome but like fr 3minutes?)

anyway they keep me overnight and force my parents to pay for an ambulance to the city I live in so I can be kept in an inpatient facility there. and when I get there they insist on wheeling me on a fucking stretcher through the lobby area (not the ER) for everyone to see and up to my new home.

now I’m sure inpatient facilities work for some people (more like 1% imo) but that was the worst thing for me.

I have SOCIAL ANXIETY (and general). yes keep me in with all of these people I don’t kno and expect me to be comfortable talking to complete strangers.

this was basically my first experience with psychiatrists and shit (other than that one time when I was like 6 when my parents made me go to this GROUP therapy thingy for my SOCIAL anxiety).

the woman who was assigned to like work with me was like fresh out of whatever program they learn in for this shit. she looked and sounded like she wanted to cry when she was talking to me (like yeah that’s helping me feel all comfy talking to u) and honestly it was the worst.

(I know my spacing of this thing is horrible)

(I also kno it’s long af)

so ima try to keep this in one paragraph now. they made me talk to them and whatever I said they would twist it to make it sound like I was unstable. I hid an ipod in my room along with earbuds cuz they found my phone immediately since I only put it under my pillow. they didn’t trust us with anything with a camera, anything long (like wires), etc. they locked away my clothes and made me wear a fucking gown that was way too big for me (but some other inmates didn’t have to). one time they left that thing unlocked and I took a bunch of my clothes from it and hid that shit in my room so I knew I could access it even if I couldn’t wear it. they let us keep a set of pyjamas (our own) which I ended up always wearing under my clothes even if I was super hot just because I was trying to piss them off ( I kno bad move). I was rly mad they’d put me in there. whenever my parents would visit (which was only allowed for a tiny amount of time each time) we’d be in a separate room where I’d take off the hospital clothes and wear just my clothes. I eventually didn’t put those other clothes back on and refused. it’s not like they could do anything about it. they can’t hit me. so that was my little rebellion. I wouldn’t eat any of the hospital food cuz it was disgusting so I just ate the snacks they let me bring in. they ended up keeping me longer than they said it would be so that was shit. it overall made me feel worse about myself than I had felt before. like I cry at night when I think about inpatient. there’s so much more i could talk about but I’m not feeling it rn

this was long

#mental health #anxiety #suicide #inpatient #hospital #mental hospital #social anxiety #general anxiety disorder #my story

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escapedartgeek · 6 years

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RULES: Don’t reblog, repost.

TAGGED BY: @annalerrel TAGGING: steal it. i encourage theft

► NAME ➭ ❝Zora Andrews ❞ ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ ❝ Eh. Depends. ❞ May be seeing someone - who tends to depend. And anyway, it’s not your business. ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ ❝ I’m working on it. It’s a progress thing for sure.❞ Although she is happier than she’s been in a bit, there’s still some internal struggles she’s working through. ► ARE YOU ANGRY? ➭ ❝ At the general state of those in power? Yes. ❞ Just your typical creative totally over systemic issues that have plagued us all. ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ ❝ Uh. Depends on who you mean by parents. If you mean those who raised me, yes. ❞ As for her actual father, he was a donor and a friend of the family she’s coming to realize. Yay?

✨ NINE FACTS!

► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ ❝Night Vale, Arizona ❞ She has a bit of a wistful tone, part of her kind of misses the place if she’s honest with you. But it’s something it takes a bit to get out of her. ► HAIR COLOR ➭ ❝ Dark brown/Black ❞ ► EYE COLOR ➭ ❝ Brown.❞ An incredibly deep and bright brown. Also tends to flash all white when under stress, beware. ► BIRTHDAY ➭ ❝ August 24th ❞ What year? Who cares. ► MOOD ➭ ❝ Contemplative, observant, a little tired. ❞ As to be expected really. ► GENDER ➭ ❝ Agender. ❞ Not a lady, no matter how many folks might think her one. Sorry not sorry. ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ ❝ I guess summer since I have more experience with it. I don’t mind cooler temperatures sometimes - it’s just the outright cold that bugs me at times.. ❞ ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ ❝ Afternoons, I get into my groove of the day and can finish off some cool projects by then. ❞ Look at her go.

✨ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ ❝...Sure.. ❞ Once again, it depends. And she’s not really going to talk much about it here. Different timelines and all that. ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ ❝ Interest? Yes. Love? No.. ❞ Simple and relatively direct to the point. ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ ❝ Circumstances. But likely me, to be more complete.❞ Going away for travel and career tended to put things on hold. ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ ❝ ,,, Maybe? I don’t know, it’s hard to imagine people being all that involved with me.❞ Maybe once. That’s about it as far as she can tell. ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ ❝ ..Not really but I am kind of careful about them, ❞ A bit of a shrug, she really would rather the person be ready to deal with her full self - which can be a lot. And she’s very aware of that. ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ ❝ Yes. ❞ A small nod, probably a friend or someone. ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ ❝ Maybe. I wouldn’t have known since it’s a secret and all. ❞ Very likely. But she’s not great at noticing when people are into her. ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ ❝ Yes. ❞ She’s done that quite a bit. It’s not something she likes to dweel one.

✨ SIX CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ ❝ Love. ❞ It’s just simply which one she’s more interested in in general. ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ ❝ Both. Always both. I won’t apologize. ❞ Arnold Palmers for life. ► CATS OR DOGS ➭ ❝ I haven’t made up my mind. ❞ She really hasn’t. She’s probably down for whatever when the time comes down for it. ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ ❝A few best friends. I don’t really want to feel like I’m troubling folks. ❞ Even if she feels that way sometimes anyway. ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ ❝Can it be a casual night out? I like casual nights out. Some live music, hanging out at a park somewhere. Keep it chill. But cozy nights in have their place too. ❞ ► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ ❝ Night. ❞ She feels so much more like herself at night.

✨ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ ❝ I’ve had some close calls but no. ❞ ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ ❝ yes. Clumsiness can get real weird sometimes.❞ ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ ❝ Some rare art supplies have been calling my name for years now. ❞ Dreamy sigh. ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR ➭ ❝ Yes. And I do. Only to reappear miles away from the situations. It’s great,❞ instantaneous moving through the dimensions, baby.

✨ FIVE PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭ ❝ ....This is very difficult. smile. Eyes are close behind though.❞ ► FAT OR SKINNY ➭ ❝ Ehhhh. I don’t care much either way as long as you’re able to have a good live. As for aesthetics? I think it really depends on the person.❞ ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ ❝ Height isn’t super important. But I do like to be the shorter one. I just.. do. It’s silly of me I know.“. ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ ❝uh. getting along? Compatibility honestly. But I guess attraction - since different forms of intelligence can feed into it.“ ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ ❝ I like relationships ... even if they’re short-term. Casual stuff isn’t really for me.“

✨ FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ ❝ For the most part yes. There was some complicated family history stuff though for a while which really tested my patience and capability for forgiveness though. Still kind of.. working through that.“ ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ ❝ Well. My whole existence is very surreal and unusual from other’s perspective. So.. maybe? But I like my life as it is.“ ► HAVE YOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ ❝I ran away from my hometown. But that’s about it.” ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ ❝ No. I’d rather leave by choice.❞

✨ FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ ❝If I secretly hate them, they’re not my friend.❞ ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ ❝ Hmmm, I have a few good friends and many friendly acquaintances.“ ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “Maybe Rosemary. I haven’t exactly identified a best friend in a while. I just feel more comfortable telling people things than others. ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “Probably no one if I’m quite honest with you. Family knows a lot, close friends know a lot, casual folks know some. But I don’t know if anyone knows everything about me.” And she’s kind of one to lowkey prefer it that way.

“Who would even believe it? I guess my brother is the closest. “

#ic #info

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scrafty-crafty · 7 years

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After watching both HTTYD movies i’m even more inspired for an HTTYD au. Doodling Lance with some baby dragons, ahhh, maybe some other scenes within that ‘verse, too, because I love it all.

Like, I read this wonderful one shot by @ahumblenoodle and I haven’t rlly stopped thinking about it since. I don’t know exactly what else they have for their HTTYD au, but I’ve started thinking of something along the lines where Lance is both Hiccup and his mom??

Okay, this got really long so I put it under a cut. I wish i could write this in story form rather than the spark notes, but ahhh, I rarely am able to finish things I try to write these days and I really just want to share this all at once, so yay, here’s a few thousand words on what I have in mind. As I was writing all this, I decided I definitely want to do art of more scenes from this.

Also this took h o u r s to write, wow. Probably at least 5 hours. i had things to do in between, so it wasn’t consecutive, but damn. It got longggg.

Lance starts off similar to Hiccup, he is super lanky and not well built for fighting and the other kids in his class are Keith, Pidge, and Hunk, ofc and Shiro is Keith’s older brother and also the new chief of Arus after the recent and sad death of his and Keith’s parents. Before their death Shiro and Lance had already been, like, flirting, but it was nothing official and then with Shiro’s new responsibility of being the chief, they didn’t really have much time to spend with each other.

Anyways, Keith is similar to Astrid, he’s just the all around perfect viking and Lance is jealous of his abilities. He had tried to push aside those feelings because he doesn’t want to hate Shiro’s brother because he realllyyyyy likes Shiro, but Keith just brings out all his worst insecurities. I imagine Hunk to be like Fishlegs. Not really the best fighter, but he knows his dragon facts like no one’s business. Pidge is the Ruffnut to Matt’s Tuffnut.... except instead of being not so smart they are tactical geniuses and instead of being twins they’re just siblings who are a few years apart. Unlike Hiccup, even though Lance isn’t a great fighter, these guys are still all his friends

So, like, everyone in Lance’s class is super amazing at one thing or another and Lance just doesn’t feel like he’s anything special. He doesn’t even want to kill dragons! During a battle one saved his life from a collapsing structure even though he had been armed and prepared to fight it. He never had the heart to attempt to kill one after that.

So then he brings up the idea of dragons not being all that awful to the rest of the village and everyone is outraged he would suggest such a thing, especially because the previous chief and his wife (Shiro and Keith’s parents) just died in the last dragon raid on Arus and “how could you be so stupid to think that dragons have the capacity to be anything other cold blooded murderers”. Shiro and Keith shut him out and Keith’s silence doesn’t hurt nearly as much as Shiro’s, but he finds that even Keith’s reaction hurts because even if he does envy him, he is still one of his closest friends. Hunk, Pidge, and Matt don’t exactly shut him out, but they don’t support him and he notices they don’t really want to be seen with him anymore, either.

During the next dragon raid on Arus, Lance finds the Night Fury that saved him last time and begs her to take him with her because he can’t stand this fighting anymore and no one would miss him anyways. The dragon leans down for Lance to climb on her back and she takes off.

All his friends think he was killed. They all feel bad for shutting him out, Shiro is devastated because not only is the pain of losing his parents still with him but now he just lost his love and he won’t even have the time to mourn because he’s chief now and has to put his people first, so he kind of.... shuts down emotionally.... Everyone else is a mixture of sadness and guilt and they all seethe silently as talk of “good riddance” and “serves that dragon-lover right”.

The five of them plus Lance’s family have a small memorial service just outside the village.

When Lance and the Night Fury arrive to a safe location away from Arus, the Night Fury comforts Lance and wraps herself around him and Lance feels a warmth coming from her and notices her blue glow from the fire within her. He decides to call her Blue from then on.

As years go on, Lance bonds with the dragons Blue has taken him to. He acts as their protector and guardian of the Alpha dragon that resides within the mountains of the large island and since he isn’t a lanky 15 year old anymore, he is better able to do so with the strength he attained over the years by living on an island inhabited only by dragons. His form is still lithe and he hates that he will never be able to attain a bulky, muscular build like Shiro’s, but he works with what he has and doesn’t dwell too much on it. Especially since the pain of remembering Shiro as well as his other friends still hurts.

Enter Allura and Coran who are descendants from a group of people who were dragon guardians. They are the last of their kind after a large war with a huge group of dragon hunters. Allura’s father managed to send/hide them both away safely and now they continue on their people’s legacy as nomads. When Lance is out helping dragons he comes across them and the three of them get along fantastically with one another through their love of dragons.

Back on Arus, the gang has been able to move past their grief to continue fighting dragons. They do it in honor of Lance. Shiro, however, has grown far more malicious in his killing and was never able to move past the pain of losing Lance or the guilt of how he had treated Lance leading up to his supposed death. Eventually he burns out. He loses his right arm in battle because he thought he saw Lance out of the corner of his eye, but Lance is dead and he’s not coming back. A prosthetic is quick to be made for the chief, but it’s his breaking point. He tries to run away. While doing so, he runs into this massive dragon (maybe a rogue Bewilderbeast? But I don’t think those can fly so I have no clue and Shiro would probably have a dragon with huge wings and flight abilities...) It’s black as the night and he hardly notices it at first. When he did notice him, he doesn’t even have it in him to try and kill it. He knew it was a lost cause and he had been contemplating his own death in the passing years since losing Lance and what better way than to leave himself defenseless in the face of a dragon?

Much to his surprise, the dragon doesn’t attack him. Instead it moves it’s head down and closes it’s eyes mere inches from Shiro’s face. Shiro is stunned and slowly moves his left hand up to place it on the dragon’s face. The dragon pushes against his hand lightly and opens it’s eyes. Shiro has never been so intimately close to a dragon before as he is now, but looking into it’s eyes he can feel the dragon sympathizing with him and it blows Shiro’s mind. All he can think of is Lance and how maybe he was right about dragons being kind and insanely intelligent because there’s no other explanation for why this massive creature is offering him comfort right now when Shiro and his village have all spent their entire lives fighting and killing dragons and Shiro knows the dragon must know, yet it doesn’t strike him.

Shiro returns to Arus and everyone is relieved to see him again because his departure had left Keith in charge and Hunk or Pidge is just like “Thank god, because Keith made a terrible leader! Full offense intended” and Keith can’t even deny it, he is happy Shiro is back to take over. The whole exchange causes Shiro to laugh and all his friends freeze because they haven’t heard Shiro laugh in years so it’s a very unexpected sound, but one they missed very much. They can see how much lighter Shiro is and they start to wonder where exactly Shiro went and what he did. They even accuse him of a being a clone!! And Shiro denies being a clone (Pidge: “That’s exactly what a clone would say!”) and they all continue to joke around and Shiro is surprised his friends aren’t giving him a rougher time about leaving without warning.... which they eventually do because they’re all ball busters, ya know, but in the end all is good so they aren’t really mad, especially since it seems time away really helped Shiro clear his mind.

Later that night when Keith and Shiro are home, Keith asks him where he went and what happened. It takes Shiro a while to answer because he still thinks he must have gone crazy to allow a dragon as large as the one he encountered anywhere near him without any kind of bloodshed. He does tell Keith, though. Keith listens and he is torn between believing Shiro and yelling “What were you thinking!!!” and also thinking that Shiro must have gone crazy, because there’s no way that happened.

Then Shiro says “I think.... maybe Lance was right...” and that takes the breath out of Keith and anything he was going to say because in all the years Lance has been dead Shiro hasn’t brought him up or said his name once. So then the waterworks start and Shiro finally starts letting himself grieve and Keith sits there and comforts him and rubs his back as Shiro finally lets all his emotions out that have been built up over the years. Shiro’s grief is as if Lance had just died yesterday instead of over 4 years ago. Keith is there for him and Shiro doesn’t get any sleep until dawn.

Somehow Keith convinces everyone that even though Shiro is back, he still won’t be ready to return to his duties for another day or two so they will have to deal with his terrible leadership skills in the meantime while Shiro rests up.

His friends ask if Shiro told him what happened and Keith tells them everything.

Once Shiro is back to himself, more himself than he’s been in years, his friends ask him about the dragon (his dragon, but he vehemently rejects any affiliation he has with this dragon other than the events that had taken place). At first he isn’t so sure about taking the people he cares most about to meet this dragon. Maybe it was a fluke. What if he takes them to see this dragon and leads them all to their deaths? They eventually wear him down though and he agrees and is relieved that when they do find the dragon (after a very long search, Matt: “if this dragon is as big as you say, how come we haven’t found it yet?”) that the dragon is as non-aggressive as it was during his first encounter with it. Hunk immediately recognizes the dragon as part of the Alpha class and explains what this means.

By the next raid, Shiro and his friends have come up with a plan unlike anything they have ever attempted before. Shiro tells everyone to stay inside and the gang makes sure they do. Shiro somehow persuades/lures the dragon (with fish probably) to just outside the village as they wait for the dragons to come. Shiro has explained the plan to the dragon and as he sees the understanding on its face he has no doubts in his mind that Lance had been right about dragons. He doesn’t allow himself to think about it too much though because the dragons are coming. Black, as Shiro had taken to calling the massive dragon, uses it’s mind control to bring the dragons to a calm.

(canon note: since Alpha class is above any other class, I think it makes sense that these dragons would obey Black instead of the queen Red Death that had been the cause of all the mayhem in the first HTTYD movie)

Anyways, part one of the plan is a success and part two is getting the village to trust the dragons just as Shiro and his friends have. Surprisingly, it doesn’t take long.

For everyone’s dragon companions I imagine Hunk with a yellow Gronkle just like Meatlug because the Hunk and Fishlegs parallels are strong. Her name is Yellow. Keith would obv have a Monsterous Nightmare he names Red. I am torn between going straight classic and giving Pidge and Matt a Zippleback named Green and Groan (or something catchy, idk) or giving Pidge a gaggle of Terrible Terrors because I can imagine them with a bunch of those little suckers and causing trouble. If I went the latter, Matt would either solo fly a Zippleback or go with a Deadly Nadder (my personal fave). This leaves Shiro. If the Black is indeed a Bewilderbeast, then he’s gonna need a transport dragon because there’s no way he’s not flying, though I guess he could hitch a ride with Keith just like Pidge would do with Matt if I did give her Terrible Terrors.... anyways...

Such is the beginning of the dragon riders of Arus and a peaceful era with no more dragon fighting, yeah, yeah.

So then the gang starts exploring the surrounding area around the island their village is on and every now and again help dragons who are in need of help. While helping some dragons who were caught in a landslide or something they are found by Allura and Coran who also were passing by and heard the cries of dragons in need. They did not expect to find a group of people already there, but they get excited regardless. After the dragons are helped, the gang and Allura and Coran properly introduce themselves to one another and Allura mentions “Oh, Lance would love to meet you all!! You must come with us to meet him” and everyone has these pained looks on their faces, but it must be a cruel coincidence, right? Because their Lance is dead. Allura notices the change in demeanor and asks “Is everything okay?”

Surprisingly, Shiro is the one to say “Yes, it’s just... we lost someone who was close to us by the name of Lance”

Allura’s eyes widen and she goes “Oh dear, I’m so sorry... I know what it is like to go through a great loss.... Coran and I lost our entire people to dragon hunters not too long ago. We are the last of our people.”

Shiro asks “What about your friend?” He can’t bring himself to say his name, not when it isn’t their Lance they are talking about.

Allura clarifies “Oh no, Lance is not Altean like us. We met him only a few months ago and have a camp set up together. Sometimes it feels like he is one of us, though... he has the kindness and affinity towards dragons of an Altean, though. He reminds us a bit of what we lost” She smiles sadly.

(And okay this is where it deviates a bit. I originally intended for it to lead right up to the beautiful scene noodle painted in their one shot, but my imagination got away from me, so it could go that way or this way...)

So then they follow Allura and Coran on their dragons and go to meet Lance. When they see him it’s almost as if the air has been taken from all their lungs because there lies Lance, their Lance, he’s alive and well and he’s rolling on the ground with baby dragons, laughing and looking so beautiful and Shiro thinks he forgets to breath because suddenly he’s gasping for air and at the sound Lance turns towards the group of newcomers and his eyes widen and his face falls. Lance isn’t sure how to feel. He suddenly has a mixture of emotions ranging from happiness to fear to sadness.... it’s all happening so much and so fast so he pushes the dragons away and gets on his feet... and it’s like he forgot how to walk, but it’s okay because Shiro is walking towards him and as happy and surprised as their friends are, they stand back and let the two have their moment, but they don’t leave.

Shiro’s walking towards him and Lance is surprised to find himself stepping back. He isn’t prepared for this, he isn’t prepared for yelling or a scolding or any “how could you do this to me?”s, but Shiro doesn’t do any of that. He just comes closer and Lance hears his name fall in a whisper from Shiro’s mouth as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing.... that Lance is right here.... Lance wants to run, but before he can Shiro is right in front of him and reaching his left hand out because he needs to feel Lance otherwise he won’t believe he’s real. His hand brushes Lance’s cheek and Lance leans into the soft touch as if it were a reflex. Neither of them say anything, but suddenly Shiro pulls Lance in for a hug and Lance is quick to wrap his arms around Shiro in return. The hug is tight and desperate and so full of emotion and the waterworks start for both of them. They just hold each other and Shiro is saying Lance’s name again and in return Lance is saying “Shiro, I’m right here, Shiro, Shiro, I’m here” and he’s whispering reassurances.

After they are done everyone else gets their hugs in and they’re all sitting around a fire and Lance is so happy his friends are here. He and Shiro are sitting next to each other, hands clasped tightly as if the other could disappear at any moment.

Eventually they have to tackle the elephant in the room, though. His friends ask about what happened on that night they thought him dead. Lance has come to terms with what happened and doesn’t blame any of his friends, but as he explains what had been going through his mind and how he had begged Blue to take him away, he can see the guilt on all of their faces... especially Shiro’s and he feels Shiro’s hand tighten around his own.

So to change the subject he asks about what his friends have been up to and hopes that they will spare him of any talk of killing. What they tell him instead has him shaking his head in disbelief. They’re explaining the entirety of what happened and how they made peace with the dragons, but Lance can’t believe it. He can’t believe that the village that shunned him for believing dragons were peaceful and intelligent beings adopted those same beliefs all these years later.... he feels hurt and betrayed, but also happy. Happy knowing there’s no more fighting between the dragons and the people of Arus.

The night goes on and Shiro and Lance seclude themselves from the others. Lance shows Shiro around the island. At some point Shiro starts serenading Lance with a song of romance (maybe the same one Stoic sang, maybe not) and they sing together and dance and laugh and Shiro is so caught up in the moment and having Lance back, Lance is here, he’s not dead, that he proposes to Lance before he can even think to hold his tongue because all he knows is he never wants to lose Lance again. Lance is surprised and after the surprise wears off, his eyebrows knit together and he says “Shiro... I love you... I never stopped loving you, but marriage? Shiro, I think we have some work to do first... it’s been 5 years, let’s just... start off slow...” Lance finishes with a weary look on his face. He doesn’t want to hurt Shiro’s feelings and gods, he had thought about it so many times before, what it would be like, but before Lance left they had barely gotten serious, so it was more of a fantasy than anything.... and then everything changed... and the fantasy became an unrealistic one because right before he left Shiro had looked at him with such pain and hurt and betrayal that Lance could suggest making peace with the creatures that killed his parents. Lance never meant it that way, and deep down Shiro had known that, but the pain of losing them was still fresh at the time and it was just salt in the wound.

So Shiro smiles and agrees because he had known as soon as he asked that he had been asking a lot of Lance and Shiro doesn’t blame him for rejecting his proposal because he hadn’t even meant to ask. Not that he didn’t mean the words, but even he knows that it was too much to ask so soon. Instead Shiro asks “Will you come back to Arus with us?” Lance looks away at that moment. It had been on his mind since he saw his friends again. Surely they would want him to come back, but does he want to go back? Knowing that things are peaceful back at Arus makes the decision a bit easier.... seeing his friends and his love again makes the decision a given. He missed them all so much.

Pidge is the one to suggest to Coran and Allura that they are welcome to come back with them to Arus. The two of them are more than happy to accept that offer. As happy as they are to be around dragons, they miss the warmth that comes from having a whole village to come home to.

So they all leave. Some of the dragons they had been watching over follow them back to Arus. Most stay, though, it is their home after all. Lance promises to return to see them all again.

They go home and Lance’s family is ecstatic to see him again. They all introduce him to their dragon companions and he introduces them to Blue.... Seeing all the dragons flying around Arus brings the biggest smile to Lance’s face. As much resentment as he held for the people here, he is glad to see they have all changed for the better. He couldn’t imagine living without dragons in his life.

#vld #voltron #shance #httyd au #text post #i thought about writing this in fic form #but i don't really write often and finish things even less so

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