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saiilorstars · 4 years

Text

Falling in Temptation

Previous chapters || Sequel to Stars Dance

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor/ Female OC

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Ch. 5: A Cosmic Plant Baby

Chapter summary: Lena Reynolds receives a letter that's meant for the Doctor. It takes only a short amount of time for the Doctor's companions to suspect if this is how he ends up in Lake Silencio where he is to die in 200 years.

Fairy Tale Memoirs (Companion story)

A/N: Disclaimer: This chapter's plotline is from Doctor Who's comic stories. Most of the dialogue is directly written from the comic. The plot is NOT mine.

Avalon hurried into the console, nearly tripping over the steps as she went up. "We gotta go see Lena!"

"Morning to you too," Amy was making a face indicating honest concern for Avalon's strange cheerfulness. Mornings weren't exactly Avalon's thing.

"How do you trip going up the stairs?" the Doctor genuinely wondered, his eyes going past Avalon to the steps and back. Not even he could pull something like that.

Avalon, in turn, sent him and Amy a glare before returning to the reason for her cheerfulness. "We gotta go see Lena! She says we have mail!"

"Mail?" Now it was Rory's turn to be concerned. Why the hell would Avalon be so happy about mail?

Avalon nodded her head. "Yes! Space mail! Least that's what Lena described it to be."

"Space mail?" the Doctor repeated, though the more he thought about it the more confused he was. "You don't get 'space mail' on Earth."

"Uh, yeah we do, have you not been listening?" Avalon set her hands on her hips. "It's directed to you, actually. I thought you'd be a bit more excited."

"Well, getting mail the last time didn't work out so well for me, did it?" the Doctor muttered and turned for the console, reminding the trio of their most recent trip to the pocket dimension that led them to House.

Avalon's cheerfulness faltered. That had not been her intention at all. It had been a bit difficult adjusting to life after their encounter with House, not to mention having the TARDIS talking in an animated body. Now that the Doctor had admitted to Avalon what he did in the Time War, he felt strange around her. She had promised him that nothing had changed in regards to how she viewed him. To her, he was still her Fairy Tale Man. But just the fact that she knew what he was truly capable of sent him into a state of panic. The panic then gave him thoughts like 'what if she leaves?', 'what if she realizes I'm nothing but a monster?'. And then the fact that he even had those thoughts alerted him to something he'd been trying to ignore for a while: why didn't he have the same feelings of panic and shame with Amy, Rory and Lena? Why was it just with Avalon?

He could assume the answer, but he didn't want to openly admit that he may or may not have a special liking towards Avalon. Because if he did, then it meant he was going to put her in danger...more than what the letter (the one Avalon received last year by a mysterious sender) warned she was already in. He couldn't do that to her.

"I didn't mean to…" Avalon's quiet voice pulled the Doctor from his thoughts. She was aware of what he'd reminded him of. "I just...I thought…" she shook her head. "Sorry. I'll just tell Lena to get rid of it. Never happened right?" She looked at Any and Rory for some help.

"Right," the two chorused.

"No, no," the Doctor shook his head. "If someone left me a letter with your sister then it must be important. Plus, it means they know that I know Lena and she knows me. We have to."

"I didn't think of it like that," Avalon blinked, newfound concern spreading across her face.

"No harm done. We'll be there in 2 seconds," the Doctor's announcement came late as he pulled the lever on the console, sending the group into a jostling trip to 2011 Leadworth.

~0~

As soon as Lena heard the TARDIS wheezing she knew her big brother was coming. She scurried out of her room and down the stairs, coming out of the house in time to see the group of travelers emerging from the blue box across the street.

"You're here!" she crossed the street in a dash and hugged the Doctor then Avalon. "Gotta admit I thought you might come like a month late or something."

"I wouldn't do that," the Doctor said much too quick then noticed the simultaneous looks from his companions. "Well, I'd try not to do that."

Lena chuckled. She gave Amy and Rory each a hug as well then led all of them back into the house.

"So, Ava says you've got mail for me?" the Doctor asked once they were inside.

"Yeah, it's really weird but it does have your name on it," Lena went directly for the fireplace mantle. She picked up the envelope she was looking for, then came back to the group, holding said envelope out for the Doctor to take. "Dad said we had to give it cos we never know what it could be."

"Where is Dad anyways?" Avalon looked around the house and decided it was far too quiet for her father and Gavin to be there. "And Gavin?"

"Dad's at work and Gavin is on a play date," Lena shrugged. "Just me."

"...and you're okay?"

Lena knew the look that Avalon was giving her. It was the same concerned one she always did. "Avalon, I'm fine. You keep travelling, alright? But if you want to open that letter here I wouldn't mind," she said ever-so-innocently.

The Doctor gave her a smirk. "Can't help yourself, can you?"

"Nooo!" Lena admitted with a scrunched face. "I keep wondering if it's like a letter from the Queen? From UNIT? Or, I don't know some alien people? Could you open it, please?"

The Doctor shrugged in a 'why not?' manner and ripped the envelope open. He pulled out a small slip of paper and found…

"Coordinates?" Amy had been right behind him and as soon as she said what she saw, the Doctor threw her a look for her nosiness. She smiled awkwardly and stepped back beside Rory.

"Is it really just coordinates?" Lena asked, sounding (and looking) very disappointed that all the hype had been for measly coordinates.

"In my experience-" Avalon swiftly pulled the slip of paper from the Doctor's hand, ignoring his look, "-it's not the coordinates that gives the thrill, it's the destination! I wonder where this leads to?"

"In some experiences-" Rory began with a clearing of his throat, "-maybe following an invitation won't lead to good things."

Avalon, Amy and Lena immediately understood.

Lake Silencio.

"Oh...oh he's right," Lena suddenly went, swallowing hard. Oh, she felt guilty now. What if it was a trap? What if this was the way the Doctor ended up in Lake Silencio where he was murdered?

"Maybe we shouldn't follow it," Avalon very slowly put the slip of paper behind her back. "Maybe...maybe we should just ignore it and go back to the TARDIS."

The Doctor took note how each of his companions slowly fell - like dominoes - into apprehensive states. "Okay, what is going on? What did I miss?"

"Nothing," Rory shook his head, but his eyes kept flickering to the women.

"That!" the Doctor pointed at him. "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" He looked again.

"That!"

"What?"

The Doctor deadpanned Rory then decided to switch and turned to Amy. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," the ginger folded her arms. Though she was lying, she was doing it much better than Rory. One would almost believe her.

"Big brother, I think they're just thinking logically," Lena's explanation pulled the Doctor her way. "I mean, it could very well be a trap."

"Well, yes, but it also means we need to follow it or else they might do something worse to get my attention."

"But they might not…" Lena put on her best smile for him, but it wasn't enough to deter his intentions.

He turned to Avalon and walked towards her, only to have the ginger backtrack the same steps. "Avalon, give me the paper," he held his hand for it but she shook her head.

"I think we should really consider this whole 'trap' thing--" she was starting to say, but now he shook his head.

"-that's nice but I'm still going to need that. Hand it over."

"No!"

"You were just saying how curious you were of what the destination was!"

"That was before I realized it could be a trap! A dangerous trap!"

"Give me the paper!" the Doctor exclaimed just as Avalon's back hit the wall.

"No! And I am not afraid to stuff it into my mouth!"

The Doctor scrunched his face at such an awful threat. He looked back at the others only to see that their faces. It was not a hollow threat, apparently. The Doctor groaned and rubbed a hand down his face. "Avalon Reynolds, give me the paper or so help me I will--"

But Avalon quickly stuffed it into her mouth. The paper. She stuffed the paper into her mouth.

The Doctor had to blink for a moment as he decided whether or not he'd just seen her actually do that. His mouth had certainly nearly hit the ground when he realized that she had done it.

"Avalon!" Rory reprimanded was as horrified as the Doctor. "Spit that out! You don't know where that thing's been!"

Avalon was crinkling her nose as an interesting flavor caught her tongue. "...sho?"

"Oh this is childish, even for you," the Doctor grabbed her by the chin. Rory was absolutely right. For all they knew, that paper could be laced with poison. "Spit it out! Now!"

"No!"

"You can't swallow that whole!"

Avalon's face said 'watch me'. It was in these moments that the Doctor honestly found her annoying. At times it was endearing the way she frustrated him -- because they often fought the same way -- but other times like these, he nearly shook her until her head fell off.

"Forget it!" He let her go and headed for the door.

"Where are you going, big brother?" Lena worriedly called. He didn't look very deterred, more like exasperated with the situation.

"I saw the coordinates, I can very much do it from memory!"

Avalon then spit the paper out and made a 'yuck!' noise afterwards. "Really thought that would work."

"If anything, you just motivated him to do it," Amy shook her head with a sigh. "C'mon, we better go with him."

"But what if it really is part of the Lake Silencio trap?" Avalon felt her heart constrict at the memories of what she saw.

"Then let's make sure it doesn't happen," Amy purposely strode towards the door.

"Seriously, Ava, eating paper?" Rory stopped by the woman with the same disapproving look as before.

"I'd eat anything if it meant Lake Silencio never happens," Avalon stomped her foot over the wad of paper on the floor and swished it until it tore into pieces.

"I'm coming too," Lena announced just before she headed for the door as well. "If there's a chance of stopping this murder then I'm coming!" Avalon wouldn't even attempt to fight her sister on this one because if roles were reversed she'd do the same thing.

The Doctor had already inputted the coordinates he believed were fairly right when the rest of the group entered the TARDIS. He threw a specific look at Avalon. "Oh, you finished your snack, then?"

"Screw off," she snapped. "I'm trying to stop you from falling into a trap."

"I didn't need your help."

"I think you do," Avalon said so uniquely certain that the Doctor stopped a moment to read her expression better. She didn't look like her usual self trying to play games. She was on business.

But what kind of business?

Well, she'd never tell him to his face, that much he knew.

"Lena, you're coming?" Hr instead chose to change subjects for the time being.

Lena nodded her head. "This person knew our address so I'd like to know who it is," she so easily lied.

"Just take it easy, then," the Doctor warned before heading back for the console. He didn't know what he was getting into but he was awfully curious as well.

~ 0 ~

The TARDIS brought the group into dark woods. The trees seemed endlessly tall, reaching far up into the gray sky. Some of them were pink and the others were a dark gray, making the latter blend in the sky.

"This place looks like a Halloween movie waiting to happen," Amy remarked after stepping on the mushy pink grass.

"Pink leaves?" Avalon made a face. She held a hand out to catch one of the dozens of falling pink leaves from the sky. "Okay, where are we?"

"I'm hoping it's the right place since, you know...you ate my coordinates," the Doctor walked up beside her.

She met his sharp look with a glare. "I'd do it again," she said with nothing but honesty.

"Where are we, though?" Rory walked a few steps with Lena, both awed by the incredibly tall trees.

The Doctor whipped out his sonic and scanned the area. He then brought it close to his ears and listened. "I don't like this…"

"Me neither," Lena admitted.

"Maybe it means we should go back," Amy said with a face indicating she fully meant her words.

"Don't think so, Pond," the Doctor wagged a finger at her. "If anything...no, hold on. Don't touch anything!" He warned then dashed back into the TARDIS.

Soon as he was in, the group quickly gathered together and spoke in hushed voices.

"This looks nothing like Lake Silencio. Should we still be worried?" Lena whispered first.

"Yes," Avalon instantly answered. "For all we know this is where it all starts. If it was up to me, I'd have already knocked the Doctor out and we've be off somewhere else."

"Is violence your answer to everything?" Rory gave her a look that suggested she answer carefully.

"I'm scared," she said with an uncharacteristically frail tone. Her anger and annoyance dropped the moment she spoke with utter honesty. "The Doctor's 909 right now which means somewhere along the way we lose him for nearly two hundred years and even then the versions who see him again aren't us. That means...we lose him. Period. So I want to make damn sure that it doesn't happen."

"Yeah but we also have to be very careful. Remember what River said about interfering with the future?" Amy's reminder didn't make any positive effect.

"With all due respect, I could give less of a crap about timelines right now. If I can stop the Doctor's death then I will. Everything else be damned." Avalon stepped away only to get a sensation that she was being watched...or rather they were being watched. She turned around, eyes keenly flickering from one tree to the next.

"What?" Lena inched closer to the trio.

"I thought I just...I don't know," Avalon shook her head. She was being paranoid...but for a good reason.

"I've been here before!" They all heard the Doctor's cry as he bolted from the TARDIS into the woods, leaving the others to exchange a quick look amongst each other before running after him.

"What do you mean you've been here before?" Amy called since she was the closest behind the Doctor.

"As in, I've been to this planet before!" the Time Lord repeated himself. He had his sonic held out as far his arm would stretch. "It was a desert planet, predominantly. But now it's sprouted life, grew foliage!"

"I thought that would be a good thing?" Rory's statement turned more into a question considering they were running for some reason, not to mention the Doctor looked panicky.

The Doctor came to a skidded stop, making Amy crash into his back while the others had to do the same skid to stop. "I came here last year in the planet's history. There was an indigenous species: humanoids. Now there isn't."

"Okay, we see the problem," Avalon cleared her throat and looked to the side.

"I think the entire ecosystem of this planet changed in a hurry and it had horrible consequences," the Doctor looked out in despair at the environment.

"Okay but...this path," Lena pointed at one single clear path between two trees, "It looks man-made."

"Made by something," the Doctor corrected as he moved to her side. He stared at the long pathway and wondered what could be waiting at the end.

"You do realize that's the trap, right?" Amy's question meant nothing to him.

"Obviously," he shrugged. "It's also a trap for me. Very flattering, actually."

"You're an egomaniac," Avalon rolled her eyes. Of course he'd appreciate a trap specifically made for him. "We have to go. You have no idea what's waiting for you."

"Well then, the only way to find that out is to go down the path." The Doctor fixed his jacket and started walking on the path, not leaving much of a choice for the others but to follow.

As they went further down, they started to discover corpses of different aliens...very powerful, very old alien corpses. The Doctor presumed they'd been drained since there were no physical injuries like stabs or bullets. The more they walked, the more corpses they would discover.

"Okay, maybe we need to stop," Lena said after discovering their tenth corpse. "It's obvious these creatures followed the same coordinates and got themselves killed. Big brother…"

"There's an energy signature nearby," the Doctor was following his sonic again, though he admitted to himself he was beginning to get a little nervous as well. They'd gone quite the way already and so far all they'd seen were corpses. Whoever wanted him here must be powerful and clever. Not a good combination if you're the bad guy.

"And you want to keep going," sighed Amy.

"Well, best way to uncover a trap is to run into it!"

"Who taught you to think this way?" Avalon asked with a frown. She followed closely behind him but bumped into his back when he abruptly stopped.

"What the hell is that?" Rory was the first one out of the companions to see what the Doctor had found.

It was a large, silver and metal craftship...least it looked like it was. It was on its side, indicating it had to have crashed or something along those lines. Smoke was still billowing from it.

The Doctor put his sonic away and stepped closer to it, trying to inspect any obvious markings from it. He found one protruding triangle shape on a side that was glimmering blue. The Doctor raised his hand and let it hover over the triangle, confirming that it was for someone to press their palm on it.

"Okay, so this is probably the trap," Lena stared at the craft with a deep scowl.

"I think there might be something inside of it, actually," the Doctor lowered his hand to his side. "Well, I never could resist pressing a big mysterious button."

"Oh no!" Avalon exclaimed. "You cannot be seriously thinking about just putting your hand on that weird triangle thing!"

"Yeah, Doctor, isn't there a better way of figuring out what this is?" Rory eyed the glimmering triangle with wear. It was begging to be pressed which, in turn, spoke a lot about the party responsible for this trap. They seem to know the Doctor very well.

"What if this is what happened to the corpses out there?" Amy jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "They came here, pressed that button and got the life drained out of them?"

"Well then, we'll just have to find out-" the Doctor reached a hand for the triangle, when Avalon latched onto it.

"-don't you dare you stupid man!" she shouted and pulled him back.

"Ow! Avalon stop this!"

"No! I won't let you touch that thing!"

"You're on one extra today, you know that!?"

Avalon successfully pushed him away from the craft and positioned herself right in front of the glimmering triangle. "If it means that I'm saving your life, then yeah. C'mon, you're not thinking straight!"

"I am, actually," the Doctor frowned at her. "It just seems like you're hellbent on irritating me today."

"Ditto," she crossed her arms.

The Doctor raised his hands, indicating he was done with her and this situation. He strode towards her and tried pushing her away to press that damn button. However, she once again proved she had strange strength as she curled her arm around the one he was using to reach the triangle and pulled back.

"Should we stop them?" Lena quietly asked Amy and Rory.

"Nah, I think she's on the right one," Amy nodded. "And she's the strongest of us all, no offence Rory."

Rory rolled his eyes.

"Doctor, stop!" Avalon continued but the Doctor pushed through and pressed the button...with Avalon's hand over his. As soon as their hands made contact against the triangle, a light struck and captured them.

"What!?" Amy's eyes bulged. Okay, maybe this hadn't been their best idea after all.

"What's going on!?" Lena moved forwards but Rory yanked her back despite hearing the collective cries from the Doctor and Avalon.

"It was a trap, what else?" Rory groaned.

"I have you now, Doctor!" hissed a new, albeit familiar, voice. "Aaaaall your moments, your many meeeeemories, they all belong to me nooooow! You have so muuuuuuch to remember and now the Scream will neeeeeever be forgotten!"

"Oh my God…" Amy was the first one to see the owner of the voice. "Not again...I thought we were done with them…"

One lone Silence in a white suit stood behind the craft. However, this Silence had the word 'Scream' carved at the top of its elongated head.

"How did - you're supposed to be dead!" Rory spat with the same hatred Amy owned.

"You are none of myyyy concern," the creature curtly retorted.

"You have my sister and my big brother, it is all of our concern," snapped Lena. "You release them right now or the same thing that happened to the other Silence will happen to you!"

"My breeeeethren are dead but I surviiiiive because not even theeeey remembered me," it responded and fairly confused the trio. "You seeeeee, I was very good aaaaat being Silent. But nooooow with the Doctor's memoooories, everyone will know who I aaaaam. Everyone will knoooow who the Scream is."

"Oh, nice, carve your name into your head, then," Amy shivered.

"Enough!" Lena shouted and went for a metal bar lying on the ground, no doubt having broke off the from the craft. "Let go of them!" she brandished the bar at it, but hearing the agonizing screams of her sister and the Doctor made her bravery falter.

"What are you going to do with the memories?" Rory couldn't finish understanding how stealing the Doctor's memories would make the Scream be known...that is until Amy pointed at something inside the craft.

"There's something growing inside of that thing!"

Indeed there was a glowing white light inside the craft, taking the form of a creature but no features could be seen yet.

"...help me…" they heard the quiet, almost frail voice of whatever was inside.

"Did it talk?" Lena held the metal bar tighter in her hand. "Where'd it come from? Where'd it-"

"-thisssss is whyyyy I needed youuu, Doctor," the Scream suddenly went, turning gleefully at the craft. "After all, you aaaaare so very, very old. 909 years. All the tiiiiime and space. All you've seeeeen. You are a legend. Who has moooore memories than youuuu?"

"Wait, are his memories making that happen!?" Amy shook her head fervently. "But Avalon's in the mix...how…" her eyes widened when something new came to mind. She raised her head to the craft, specifically to where the creature was growing inside. "Are they creating that!?"

"Memories are life itself. And I knew that if I had enough of them I could feed this. A machine of my own genius. A memory and engine! All I needed was to find this very special forest."

"Where are you doing?" Rory demanded from the Scream.

"Legend caaaaalls it the Planting. Some miiiiiight call it an organic virus, however. Iiiiit arrives on a plaaaaanet in sapling form. It takes roooooot, then it grows, spreads, covers the entire gloooobe. It's march is irreversible. Then, once iiiiits invasion is complete, it groooooows another sapling. And then it replaces allllll indigenous life there. And that--" the Scream moved up to the craft where the creature was growing, "--iiiiis what's growing insiiiiide here. The next Sapling. I captured it. It waaaaas ready to move on...to propagate the forest oooon its next planet. And it willlllll. But this time there will be a difference. The engines I aaaaaam stealing from those two aaaaare their memories. Pure lifeforce for a neeeeew creation. I'm going tooooo step inside this canister nooooow. My body will be destroooooyed but my mind will endure. Using the energiesssss I will take control of the Sapling. I will find a new planet aaaaand plant myself in the memoriessss of all. I'll cover the entire world. After all, iiiiif you can't turn your back ooooon the Scream, then you can never forget it."

"You are mad!" Lena screamed at the creature. "My sister is in that, you idiot!"

"Yesssss, the Reynolds girl. Kovarian can 'bite it', as you humansssss would say."

"Who the hell is Kovarian?"

"Uuh...guys?" Amy had gotten closer to the craft, careful not to get so close to the Scream. The white light inside the craft had started to die down and showcased a tree-like creature inside. It had legs and arms and a head...like what a baby would have.

"Gooooooodbye pitiful humansssss," the Scream said. He pulled one metal piece off the craft and started climbing into the same spot where the other creature was growing...but he had not yet met a furious Lena Reynolds.

The woman furiously screamed as she ran towards the craft. She started banging her metal bar against it, shattering whatever glass was around. She was only careful not to touch the triangle her sister and the Doctor were trapped by.

"What are youuuuu doing!?" the Scream cried from the inside. "Youuuuu irritating-"

Lena swung the metal bar at his face, knocking the creature to the side of the wall. She then brought it down against him three more times.

"Woah," Amy was stunned.

"Amy!" called Rory. He had begun searching for a weapon of his own and found a metal piece as well, though a bit smaller than Lena's. "Follow her lead!"

Amy quickly looked for a weapon of her own and, thankfully, spotted a piece of what appeared to be part of an engine. "What now!?"

"We break that thing out!" Lena huffed after she finished with the Scream then turned to the area where the creature was inside.

"What!? You want to let the monster out!?" Rory looked at her like she'd lost it.

"Didn't you hear Amy? That thing is part Avalon, part Doctor. It might be the only thing that can save them!" Lena hurried up to the glass and peered inside. The creature had purple pupils that seemed to carry stars inside. That was a bit weird, but still...it was their only hope. "Okay little guy, or girl...if you can hear me, please help us. Help Avalon and the Doctor...or they must just die."

She didn't know if the creature could talk, but she definitely knew that it had understood. Its eyes had seemed to narrow and maybe it nodded its head? "Cover those star eyes," she warned. "Amy! Rory!"

"This could just be the way we all die," Rory said once he had come up next to her.

"Or save us all," Amy added.

"Go!" Lena said then started banging against the other side of the glass. Once Amy and Rory joined in, the glass began to crack until it shattered. They immediately backtracked as the creature started climbing out.

"Oooh, I really hope it doesn't kill us," Rory whispered to Amy while his eyes followed every movement of the creature.

Its entire body was a white shade with tinges of pink around its body. It resembled tree bark but it ultimately looked scared. It wobbled on its feet once it stood up for the first time. It then raised its head at the trio and blinked.

"Please," Lena clapped her hands together. "Please save them...they'll die if you don't...they created you…"

The creature turned its head towards the Doctor and Avalon. The life force was definitely being drained out of them, leaving their skins a bit shriveled. It started walking around them, missing how Lena and the other two slowly stepped in the same direction to see what would happen. Suddenly, it slammed both its hands against the triangle - albeit pushing both Avalon's and the Doctor's hands further inside - and shattered it. The energy trapping the two disappeared and down they went.

"Oh thank God!" Lena breathed a sigh of relief and ran towards her sister. "Avalon!"

"Doctor!" Amy went for the Time Lord. Rory ran up afterwards and examined the two's bodies from where he stood. "They're returning to normal, look."

Avalon's and the Doctor's skin were returning to normal indeed. In a matter of minutes, it was as if nothing happened to them...well…

"Oooooow my hand!" Avalon whimpered as she opened her eyes. "My hand's broken!"

"Ow, blimey, mine too," the Doctor sat upright and crinkled his nose at his right hand. "That's quite some strength…"

"Avalon!" Lena hugged her sister tightly. "Oh thank God you're okay! I was so scared-"

"-yeah, and you beat the crap out of that alien," snickered Amy. "That was good!"

"Alien? What alien?" the Doctor frowned at the ginger, making Amy immediately stop laughing.

"The Scream, what else?"

"The what?"

Amy made a face then glanced at Rory and Lena. Was he actually being serious?

"Why can't...why can't I remember where we are?" Avalon stared at the pink forest in honest confusion. "Or...or my Mum? Oh my God, I can't remember my Mum!"

"Okay, what's going on?" Rory bent down in front of the two. "Doctor, do you remember why we're here?"

"Well, there was a trap...and then...lots of light, but, um...I was fighting something...a big, um…" but the man trailed off as he too couldn't remember.

"Oh, this is bad," Amy started getting up from the ground. She looked at the craft. "It must have made them forget some things."

They then started hearing a groan coming from the craft. Golden energy mixed with the same white light from before now covered the Scream when it climbed out. He seemed like somebody on fire. "Doctor! What haaaaave you done to meeee!? Yourrrr memories! They burrrrrn! The Sapling haaaas the resssst of the memories!"

"Saplings?" frowned Rory but then he looked over and saw the creature that'd rescued the Doctor and Avalon. "Ooh...that...Sapling…"

The Sapling, in turn, just blinked like a confused child would.

"Give themmmm to meeeee!" the Scream demanded but Amy hurriedly put herself in front of the Sapling, making Rory nearly lose it.

"Amy! Don't do that!"

Amy extended her arms and raised her head as the Scream came towards them. "You are not touching it - him...I mean...oh I don't know if it's a girl or a boy. Either way, you're not touching them!"

"Oh that's who we were fighting," the Doctor pushed himself up to his feet. "Right, um, run back to the TARDIS?"

"Works for me," Lena pulled Avalon up by her good hand. "C'mon!"

The Doctor led the run with Lena and Avalon right behind him. Rory pulled Amy - who then pulled the Sapling creature - after them and ran for dear life.

The Scream cried for them to stop and started firing jets of white energy at them.

"What the hell are those!?" Avalon ducked before one of them burned the top of her head off.

"Memory energies!" the Doctor exclaimed. "He stored them all up in that gizmo of his but when Lena banged it up, half of the energies went to it and the other half to the, um...Sapling!"

"That machine sucked out my memories!?" Avalon screamed. "And now it has them!?"

"Unfortunately, yes!"

"I want them back!"

"Priorities, Ava!"

The chase to the TARDIS was a long one, but not something they hadn't done before. The Doctor was the first to reach the blue box and hastily opened the door for the others to get in. "C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!"

Lena and Avalon went in first.

"It's still coming, Doctor!" Rory looked over his shoulder to see the Scream close on their tails.

"Out of my way," Avalon practically pushed the Doctor to the side as she re-emerged from the TARDIS.

"What - hey!"

Avalon ignored him as she aimed a blaster in her good hand. Her eyes narrowed once she had her target in perfect sight. She pulled the trigger and fired a deep red energy that hit the Scream square in the chest. Its body was thrown a good distance away, alive, but injured nonetheless.

"In! In! In!" the Doctor then pulled her inside and made a run for the console.

"Where'd you get that from?" Rory was quick to take the blaster from Avalon.

"River Song gave it to me," Avalon smirked. "I really like that woman. She gets me."

"Nooo!" Rory waved the blaster in the air. "You are not keeping this!"

"It's what saved your ass!"

The TARDIS gave a light jolt as it sprung into space, bringing them all to decent safety. There and then, everyone gave a collective sigh of relief.

"That was close…" the Doctor rubbed his forehead.

"I told you it was a trap!" Avalon stormed up to him, forgetting about her blaster for the moment. "But you wouldn't listen!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault!?" the Doctor turned to face her smaller figure.

"YES!" she shouted. "You literally took us there! You led us down the path! You--"

"--if I hadn't then it just would've found another way to bring us there!"

"Oh, so you were just saving the guy the the trouble? Really smart."

"HEY!" Amy clapped her hands to get their attention. If she didn't cut in, she was sure they would've gone for hours like this. "Look, it happened and that's that but I think you're forgetting about something else that happened." The Doctor and Avalon both gave her the same puzzled looks. She groaned and pointed to the Sapling creature standing at the doorway.

The Sapling was staring at the place, eyes flickering from one part of the console to the next. Although the more one would study it, the more one would realize the heaviness that sat in the creature's eyes.

"Oh," the Doctor shook his head, snapping him out of his stupid argument. Amy was right. They needed to focus on something much more important.

"What is it?" Avalon quietly asked.

"Oh, Ava. 'It' is my least favorite third-person, singular neuter pronoun. 'It' is the magic word that enables every grubby little tyrant for a million years in any direction to turn people into things," the Doctor turned to the creature. "He. Clearly, he's a he." But then he paused and looked at the creature again. "You are a 'he' right?"

The Sapling seemed confused yet scared at the same time. "...can I go away and think about it?"

"Talks," Lena blinked. "He talks…"

"He, yes, I'm a 'he'," the Sapling said after a moment. Well, his voice was a bit lower. "And you…" he pointed one finger to the Doctor and moved it between him and Avalon, "...you are my progenitors."

"Excuse me?" Avalon raised an eyebrow.

"Means we're...well...we created him," the Doctor said slowly, not really wanting to look at her right now. His face felt a bit warm.

As soon as Avalon got it, she felt her face warm up too.

"Oh! I get it!" Lena exclaimed happily. "You guys had like a cosmic plant baby!"

"Lena!" went both Avalon and the Doctor in unison.

"He's not really...like...yours...is he?" Rory asked more quietly after a moment. "Looks nothing like you, for starters."

"It's not always about looks, Rory," sighed the Doctor. "Especially when there's a Time Lord in the mix. My memories and Avalon's memories created him."

"I have your memories," the Sapling spoke slowly, almost sounding cautious since they were all debating the validity of his origins. "I think I know everything about you both. Hello…"

A grin came to the Doctor's face. Okay, that may have sounded like him. "Hello!"

The Sapling almost gave a smile, but he noticed Avalon's weary face on him. "You do not believe..."

"Well," Avalon rubbed her arm nervously. "I mean, it's technically like...I'm your mother...but...I'm not really. I mean...I can't have a kid. Much less with the likes of him!"

The Doctor took great offence when she jerked a thumb his way. "Oi!"

"What?" she frowned. "No offence, but it takes more than a machine to get me to have a kid with you, alright?"

"I don't quite like that tone," he turned to her, once again igniting the fuel for another argument. "Sounds a bit condescending."

Avalon snorted. "Oh c'mon, you wear bow ties and a fez! Seriously? You don't get this--" she gestured at herself, "--so easily."

"I'll have you know that I have a rakish charm!" the Doctor argued. "Not to mention that I'm a Time Lord! I'm the scourge of Gallifrey! I'm hot stuff!"

"Ha!" Avalon genuinely laughed. "Now that was funny!"

"Oh God just get a room already," Amy groaned and pulled them apart. She completely missed Rory's disapproving look for her words. "We can't argue about this when it's already done. Congratulations, you're parents. Deal with it."

"Easy for you to say! You didn't just conjure up a genocidal tree child with some alien!" Avalon was quick to point out, and it was a fairly good point. It was also the point that made the Doctor realize she was scared. And instead of helping her, he was arguing with her.

"I'm scared." The admission did not come from Avalon, however. All eyes turned to the Sapling. His star eyes gazed at the group sadly, and yet feebly like a child would. "Mother is right. My sole purpose is to destroy. I don't want to destroy a world."

Avalon's face softened after making her own realization. The Sapling sounded like her little brother, a child, stuck in the body of a destroyer.

The Sapling looked over his shoulder, towards the closed doors. "He'll come looking for me, won't he? The Scream?"

"I'm afraid so," the Doctor hated to admit because it was just going to make the child more afraid.

"I have the memories of a Time Lord and my genetic programming predisposes me towards genocide. I am the most dangerous weapon in the universe. The safest thing you could do is destroy me right now. Before I grow."

"Oooh...my heart…" Lena almost whimpered as she looked at Avalon and the Doctor. "We can't turn him away. You won't, will you?"

"Of course not," the Doctor walked up to the Sapling and gently turned him around. "We don't destroy. At all. You're not going anywhere, mister."

The Sapling wanted to smile but he looked around the Doctor, towards Avalon as if waiting for her to say the opposite.

"Oh God," sighed Avalon. "This is seriously the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. No, dear Sapling, you will not go anywhere. Apart from the fact you now own a good part of my memory, you are...me…" the last part was a bit strained, mind you, but reasonable. "We don't destroy. But don't touch my journal. I assume you know what that is, right?" The Sapling nodded his head, though now there was a clear smile on his face. "Good. Now Rory, can you please fix my hand? It's very much broken."

Rory nodded. "Yeah. Most normal thing I can do right now. Come."

Avalon walked after Rory, but her gaze lingered on the Sapling until she disappeared.

"Is he right, big brother?" Lena asked afterwards. "Is the Scream coming again?"

"Yes, but... I'm sure by the time he finds us...we'll have a plan." The Doctor really hoped he was right because they already had a lot to deal with as it was.

"That's, uh, not very reassuring," Amy pointed out.

"All we have so far, Pond."

"Is it safe for me to go home, then?" Lena asked a very good question. In fact, it made her wonder if she should tell her father about this so that he knew not to come home either.

Luckily, though, the Doctor seemed to have a plan for that.

~0~

"There we go, all good now," Rory gave Avalon a smile after finishing up bandaging her broken hand. He got up from his seat next to Avalon and returned the bandages to a cupboard. He'd gotten himself familiarized with the infirmary almost as soon as he'd arrived to the TARDIS.

He was a nurse, after all.

"How long will it take to heal?" Avalon ruefully stared at her hand. She hated that her healing abilities only extended to internal issues. A cold? No problem. One broken bone? Actual problem.

"About 3 weeks or so."

"What?" she frowned then started pouting at the idea she'd have to wear the stupid bandage for a full month.

"Hey, you wanted to be heroic and stop the Doctor from pushing that triangle," Rory reminded, rather like a parent who'd told their child not to do something.

"Fat lot that did," Avalon mumbled. "I'm a mother."

"It's not that bad…"

"Until you have your own tree child, you don't get to opiniate."

Rory bobbed his head. That was fair.

"How we doing?" the Doctor poked his head into the room, really looking like nothing had happened today.

"Great," Avalon raised her bandaged hand with a sour smile. "I get to wear this for a whole month!"

"You're welcome by the way," Rory threw her a sarcastic glance.

"Thank you, Rory," Avalon used her sweetest smile for him but all Rory did was go 'mhm' and leave the room.

"Just so you know, I had to put a shield around your family's home," the Doctor informed Avalon afterwards. Seeing her alarmed face, he quickly added, "It's actually highly unlikely that the Scream will go there when it needs the Sapling. Still, just a precaution."

"Great," Avalon sighed. "How will Lena explain that to Dad?"

"The shield? Ah, don't worry about that. Completely invisible. It'll keep out any Scream, any Silence, pretty much anything related to this species."

"Well, thanks," Avalon leaned back in her seat. Her fingers seemed to awkwardly fumble with each other until she was able to string together the words she wanted to say in one go. "What, um, what's going to happen to...the Sapling? Will he hurt us?"

The Doctor didn't seem to think about it too much before he shook his head. That had to mean he was certain, right? Avalon wanted to think so.

"He's a child, Ava. I know it's weird, but...he really is just a child."

"But not an ordinary one," she quietly pointed out for many obvious reasons.

"Yes," he agreed. With a sigh, he took Rory's seat next to hers. "I know it's odd, everything that happened but...you know that I would never keep anyone or anything who could hurt you - you, Amy and Rory."

"But what the Scream said about him... he's supposed to destroy worlds…"

"Ava, you know very well that no one is born ready to destroy worlds. I believe that if we raise the Sapling with all the right morals, he will do a lot of good in this world."

Avalon could agree that logic made sense. Still, it left a few other questions still toggling in her head. Rather awkward ones. "Is he really...ours?" she forced herself to ask eventually. "Because...well...he's a tree."

The Doctor cleared his throat with the same awkwardness. "Genetically speaking, no he's not ours. But we did make him. We...gave him life. Am I explaining it right?"

"I'm blushing so maybe," she chuckled.

The Doctor could smile at that. "Our lives, our memories... that's what created him. So, technically, he is ours."

"Just not genetically," Avalon finished in hopes of finally understanding this whole mess. When the Doctor nodded, she sighed in relief. "Okay. Great. I mean not great but, you know…"

"I understand," the Doctor assured her that her thoughts were not misplaced. He got it. It was weird, it wasn't at all what someone would want.

Avalon shook her head, as if doing that would get rid of everything. The Doctor took pity of her, and then quickly threw that out because if she were to find out who actually felt pity...she'd kill him.

"It's not that bad," he tried an alternative instead.

Avalon snorted, however, and gave him a crazed look. "Of course not for you! God knows all the weird things you've done."

"I've actually fathered and mothered another child."

Avalon froze. Her big blue eyes blinked wide in alarm. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, not by choice though," the Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. "We got stuck in some war site and they forced my hand into this machine that took a skin sample and...created a person from it, a woman. She was my daughter."

"What…?" Avalon stared at him as if he would take it back, but of course he wouldn't. "Oh my God. You are...truly unbelievable."

The Doctor could only laugh. "Yeah. Donna Noble would say the same thing."

"Who?"

"She was my friend at the time when this happened."

"So...so you've got a daughter, then? Like, from a machine too?"

"Yes, I do."

"Where is she?"

"Oh, you know, probably knocking about somewhere in the world."

"What - you say it so calm like that?"

"It's a long story, Ava. I used to think Jenny was dead until she popped in one day telling me she wasn't. She travels on her own."

"Doctor, in all honesty, what the hell?" Avalon had to laugh at him. "You are so…" her hands moved back and forth to make a gesture but she couldn't come up with the right word to describe him.

"Yeah, yeah," the Doctor shook his head. "Glad to see you're doing better then."

"Oh no, but this makes me feel just a bit better. Now if this--" she raised her broken hand, "--could go away then maybe I could laugh a little more."

"How bad is it?"

"Not bad, really. it's just a have to wear her about 3 weeks or so. Which is kind of annoying for someone like me who likes to use her hands a lot."

"Let's see what we can do about that, then," the Doctor took her broken hand into his, startling her but overall confusing her.

"Rory said it'd be good in 3 weeks. It's annoying but I think I'll survive," Avalon shrugged, though that didn't seem to be good enough for the Doctor.

"Nah. We can speed that up. Mind you, you've got some protruding veins." He was studying the bright blue veins most visible on her wrist, on the same side of her palm.

"Thank you for that," she sarcastically smiled.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I just meant I never noticed them." He gently ran a finger over them, definitely feeling more than the average human would tend to but Avalon certainly wasn't human...and she definitely wasn't average.

And there went his thoughts again.

It was frustrating, really, that he couldn't do one simple task involving her that wouldn't end up with him thinking about her in another light. Like, right now, her skin was so smooth and….warm? He could maybe run his fingers over her skin for God knew how much longer.

Avalon really tried ignoring the tingle that had ran down her back after feeling his fingers over her skin. It was stupid. It was definitely never going to happen but...there it was.

A golden energy emitted from the Doctor's hands, wrapping its tendrils around Avalon's hand for a few seconds before it died. It was like it didn't even happen. Avalon blinked as the Doctor let go of her hand. She turned her hand over and flexed it.

"There you go," the Doctor smiled at her. "Good as new."

"That was pretty cool," Avalon had to admit. She put her hands on her lap and smiled back. "Thank you."

"Of course," the Doctor got up from his chair but Avalon called his name before he started to leave.

"My memories - the ones the Sapling has - will I ever get them back?" There was a terrible fear in her eyes when she realized those memories may be lost forever. "Because, because I can't remember Emmalina...at all. Like, I try to picture her but she's...gone."

The Doctor took a seat again and looked her directly in the eyes. "I don't know how to get them back right now but I promise you that I'll restore them. On my lives, I swear I will."

Avalon nodded her head. Of course she believed him. She always did.

#ocappreciation #doctor who #11th doctor #doctor who fics #11th doctor fics #dw imagine #doctor who imagine #11th doctor imagines #oc: Avalon Reynolds #oc: lena reynolds #fic: falling in temptation

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wickedbananas · 6 years

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How to Write Meta Descriptions in a Constantly Changing World (AKA Google Giveth, Google Taketh Away)

Posted by Dr-Pete

Summary: As of mid-May 2018, Google has reverted back to shorter display snippets. Our data suggests these changes are widespread and that most meta descriptions are being cut off in the previous range of about 155–160 characters.

Back in December, Google made a significant shift in how they displayed search snippets, with our research showing many snippets over 300 characters. Over the weekend, they seem to have rolled back that change (Danny Sullivan partially confirmed this on Twitter on May 14). Besides the obvious question — What are the new limits? — it may leave you wondering how to cope when the rules keep changing. None of us have a crystal ball, but I'm going to attempt to answer both questions based on what we know today.

Lies, dirty lies, and statistics...

I pulled all available search snippets from the MozCast 10K (page-1 Google results for 10,000 keywords), since that's a data set we collect daily and that has a rich history. There were 89,383 display snippets across that data set on the morning of May 15.

I could tell you that, across the entire data set, the minimum length was 6 characters, the maximum was 386, and the mean was about 159. That's not very useful, for a couple of reasons. First, telling you to write meta descriptions between 6–386 characters isn't exactly helpful advice. Second, we're dealing with a lot of extremes. For example, here's a snippet on a search for "USMC":

Marine Corps Community Services may be a wonderful organization, but I'm sorry to report that their meta description is, in fact, "apple" (Google appends the period out of, I assume, desperation). Here's a snippet for a search on the department store "Younkers":

Putting aside their serious multi-brand confusion, I think we can all agree that "BER Meta TAG1" is not optimal. If these cases teach you anything, it's only about what not to do. What about on the opposite extreme? Here's a snippet with 386 characters, from a search for "non-compete agreement":

Notice the "Jump to Exceptions" and links at the beginning. Those have been added by Google, so it's tough to say what counts against the character count and what doesn't. Here's one without those add-ons that clocks in at 370 characters, from a search for "the Hunger Games books":

So, we know that longer snippets do still exist. Note, though, that both of these snippets come from Wikipedia, which is an exception to many SEO rules. Are these long descriptions only fringe cases? Looking at the mean (or even the median, in this case) doesn't really tell us.

The big picture, part 1

Sometimes, you have to let the data try to speak for itself, with a minimum of coaxing. Let's look at all of the snippets that were cut off (ending in "...") and remove video results (we know from previous research that these skew a bit shorter). This leaves 42,863 snippets (just under half of our data set). Here's a graph of all of the cut-off lengths, gathered into 25 character bins (0–25, 26–50, etc.):

This looks very different from our data back in December, and is clearly clustered in the 150–175 character range. We see a few Google display snippets cut off after the 300+ range, but those are dwarfed by the shorter cut-offs.

The big picture, part 2

Obviously, there's a lot happening in that 125–175 character range, so let's zoom in and look at just the middle portion of the frequency distribution, broken up into smaller, 5-character buckets:

We can see pretty clearly that the bulk of cut-offs are happening in the 145–165 character range. Before December, our previous guidelines for meta descriptions were to keep them below 155 characters, so it appears that Google has more-or-less reverted to the old rules.

Keep in mind that Google uses proportional fonts, so there is no exact character limit. Some people have hypothesized a pixel-width limit, like with title tags, but I've found that more difficult to pin down with multi-line snippets (the situation gets even weirder on mobile results). Practically, it's also difficult to write to a pixel limit. The data suggests that 155 characters is a reasonable approximation.

To the Wayback Machine... ?!

Should we just go back to a 155 character cut-off? If you've already written longer meta descriptions, should you scrap that work and start over? The simple truth is that none of us know what's going to happen next week. The way I see it, we have four viable options:

(1) Let Google handle it

Some sites don't have meta descriptions at all. Wikipedia happens to be one of them. Now, Google's understanding of Wikipedia's content is much deeper than most sites (thanks, in part, to Wikidata), but many sites do fare fine without the tag. If your choice is to either write bad, repetitive tags or leave them blank, then I'd say leave them blank and let Google sort it out.

(2) Let the ... fall where it may

You could just write to the length you think is ideal for any given page (within reason), and if the snippets get cut off, don't worry about it. Maybe the ellipsis (...) adds intrigue. I'm half-joking, but the reality is that a cut-off isn't the kiss of death. A good description should entice people to want to read more.

(3) Chop everything at 155 characters

You could go back and mercilessly hack all of your hard work back to 155 characters. I think this is generally going to be time badly spent and may result in even worse search snippets. If you want to rewrite shorter Meta Descriptions for your most important pages, that's perfectly reasonable, but keep in mind that some results are still showing longer snippets and this situation will continue to evolve.

(4) Write length-adaptive descriptions

Is it possible to write a description that works well at both lengths? I think it is, with some care and planning. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this for every single page, but maybe there is a way to have our cake and eat at least half of it, too...

The 150/150 approach

I've been a bit obsessed with the "inverted pyramid" style of writing lately. This is a journalistic style where you start with the lead or summary of your main point and then break that down into the details, data, and context. While this approach is well suited to the web, its origins come from layout limitations in print. You never knew when your editor would have to cut your article short to fit the available space, so the inverted pyramid style helped guarantee that the most important part would usually be spared.

What if we took this approach to meta descriptions? In other words, why not write a 150-character "lead" that summarizes the page, and then add 150 characters of useful but less essential detail (when adding that detail makes sense and provides value)? The 150/150 isn't a magic number — you could even do 100/100 or 100/200. The key is to make sure that the text before the cut can stand on its own.

Think of it a bit like an ad, with two separate lines of copy. Let's take this blog post:

Line 1 (145 chars.)

In December, we reported that Google increased search snippets to over 300 characters. Unfortunately, it looks like the rules have changed again.

Line 2 (122 chars.)

According to our new research (May 2018), the limit is back to 155-160 characters. How should SEOs adapt to these changes?

Line 1 has the short version of the story and hopefully lets searchers know they're heading down the right path. Line 2 dives into a few details and gives away just enough data (hopefully) to be intriguing. If Google uses the longer description, it should work nicely, but if they don't, we shouldn't be any worse for wear.

Should you even bother?

Is this worth the effort? I think writing effective descriptions that engage search visitors is still very important, in theory (and that this indirectly impacts even ranking), but you may find you can write perfectly well within a 155-character limit. We also have to face the reality that Google seems to be rewriting more and more descriptions. This is difficult to measure, as many rewrites are partial, but there's no guarantee that your meta description will be used as written.

Is there any way to tell when a longer snippet (>300 characters) will still be used? Some SEOs have hypothesized a link between longer snippets and featured snippets at the top of the page. In our overall data set, 13.3% of all SERPs had featured snippets. If we look at just SERPs with a maximum display snippet length of 160 characters (i.e. no result was longer than 160 characters), the featured snippet occurrence was 11.4%. If we look at SERPs with at least one display snippet over 300 characters, featured snippets occurred at a rate of 41.8%. While that second data set is fairly small, it is a striking difference. There does seem to be some connection between Google's ability to extract answers in the form of featured snippets and their ability or willingness to display longer search snippets. In many cases, though, these longer snippets are rewrites or taken directly from the page, so even then there's no guarantee that Google will use your longer meta description.

For now, it appears that the 155-character guideline is back in play. If you've already increased some of your meta descriptions, I don't think there's any reason to panic. It might make sense to rewrite overly-long descriptions on critical pages, especially if the cut-offs are leading to bad results. If you do choose to rewrite some of them, consider the 150/150 approach — at least then you'll be a bit more future-proofed.

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

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dipulb3 · 4 years

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2021 Audi E-Tron Sportback first drive: Slipstream SUV serenity

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-audi-e-tron-sportback-first-drive-slipstream-suv-serenity-3/

2021 Audi E-Tron Sportback first drive: Slipstream SUV serenity

Make no bones about it: Audi’s all-electric E-Tron SUV may have received high marks from professional auto reviewers and new owners alike, but it hasn’t moved the automaker’s sales needle in the US. In all of pre-pandemic 2019, the Audi sold fewer than 5,400 E-Trons here — less than an average month of Q5 sales. It’s amidst this frustrating backdrop that the 2021 Audi E-Tron Sportback model whirs into dealers, its racier slope-back roofline hoping to catch both eyes and sales.

Based on visuals alone, the E-Tron Sportback has undergone the now industry-standard four-door-coupification process more successfully than most luxury crossover SUVs — EV or not. From the windshield header forward, the Sportback looks the same as its more traditional two-box sibling and indeed, it has nearly the same height. However, owing to its dramatically plunging rearward greenhouse and frameless windows that clean up its roofline, the Sportback looks simultaneously lower and arguably more stylish, adding in a dash of athleticism. The Sportback isn’t just slipperier to the eye, it enjoys a 0.28 coefficient of drag, 0.02 better than its boxier relation.

Audi E-Tron Sportback First Edition is one slick electric SUV

See all photos

Range and charging specs are only part of the story

On the performance front, the Sportback is all but identical to the standard E-Tron, but a number of incremental improvements across both body styles increase appeal. Among the changes, Audi upped the available battery capacity slightly, increasing the customer-accessible portion of this 95.3-kilowatt-hour pack to 86.5 kWh — nearly 3 more than first-year E-Tron models. This translates to 218 miles of range and EPA estimates of 76 MPGe city, 78 highway and 77 combined. (The rest of the pack is held in reserve to preserve longevity.)

When it comes time to juice up, the Sportback supports Level 3 150-kW quick charging, which can jolt the battery from 0% to 80% in around 30 minutes. More common Level 2 chargers (like those most EV owners install) can replenish an entire pack in around 10.5 hours. Each E-Tron also comes with 1,000 kWh of complimentary charging through the Electrify America network.

Speaking of filling up, the Sportback is available with dual charge ports, one on each front fender. Especially for city dwellers who live in condos or apartments with tight access to charge points, this unusual bonus feature could be a major quality-of-life enhancer.

This Plasma Blue E-Tron Sportback First Edition is one of 200 coming to our shores.

Chris Paukert/Roadshow

To be clear, the Sportback’s aforementioned range figures are unremarkable — a base, Tesla Model X Long Range Plus has a 351-mile claimed range, but starting at around $80,000, it’s nearly $10,000 pricier than a 2021 E-Tron Sportback (more on pricing in a minute). Of course, while smaller than the Audi, the Model Y Performance comes in at 291 miles for far less money (around $60K) and there’s a slower, less-expensive Long Range spec with 316.

In my experience, however, with both this Sportback and with previous E-Tron testers, Audi EVs achieve their range estimates with relative ease, almost regardless of driving behavior or ambient conditions. Conversely, Tesla’s stated ranges usually feel like best-case scenarios. As with all things, your mileage may vary, but the real-world range gulf between these rivals is likely far smaller for most drivers than these vehicles’ window stickers would suggest.

Performance beyond the numbers

I start with these performance comparisons if only to get them out of the way. For better or worse, it seems impossible to review a new premium EV of any stripe without acknowledging how they numerically stack up to offerings from Elon and Friends. That said, I’m likewise here to propose an alternate view, which I think delivers a fuller picture of luxury electric life in general, and this E-Tron Sportback specifically.

You’ve likely found that all EV reviews from the humble Nissan Leaf to the Porsche Taycan wax rhapsodic about the instant torque and silent running inherent in battery-powered vehicles. Especially for those coming out of a convention internal-combustion-engined (ICE) model, that’s certainly a valid first impression and it’s absolutely the case with this E-Tron Sportback. And while that notion speaks to the innate serenity of electric power, this Audi takes that sense of wellbeing to a higher level, both in the way this SUV goes down the road and the way its cabin and tech make you feel.

As is typical for EVs, there’s not much to look at under the hood. Lift that plastic lid and you’ll find the charge cord.

Chris Paukert/Roadshow

The Sportback’s two-motor powertrain routes 355 horsepower and 414 pound-feet of torque to all four wheels by default, rising to a temporary 402 hp and 490 lb-ft in Boost Mode. The latter setting is enough to whoosh this 5,750-pound softroader to 60 mph in a drama-free 5.5 seconds. That’s reasonably quick, but again, not headline- or Instagram-worthy stuff by today’s EV standards. What makes the Sportback impressive is the utterly placid manner in which this performance is conjured. Yes, it’s quiet. Yes, it’s linear. And yes, it feels endlessly repeatable without apparent degradation in performance during hard driving.

While it feels uncharacteristically new-age-ish (and somewhat nebulous) of me to say, the tactile quality of the E-Tron’s cabin materials and the precision of their assembly contributes to that aura of slipstream serenity. There’s no doubt about it, the fit and finish of the E-Tron Sportback’s interior is worlds more luxurious and of noticeably higher quality than something like the Jaguar I-Pace, let alone anything Tesla has ever made. The last new Tesla Models X and Y that I drove dazzled with their accelerative urgency, but their high-performance spells were momentary broken by surprising amounts of wind noise and the occasional mysterious creak or graunch from beyond the firewall and rear hatch area. By comparison, even with frameless windows, the Sportback is one of the quietest vehicles I have ever driven.

The E-Tron’s other performance attributes are tuned harmoniously, too. The standard adaptive air suspension is remarkably compliant over greater Detroit’s indifferently maintained roads, even riding atop this example’s upsized 21-inch tires. With the Drive Select controller set to its firmest detent, the E-Tron’s ride is more than livable and cornering attitude is flat, doubtlessly aided by the weighty battery pack slung low in the chassis. I prefer keeping the steering set to Sport for a heftier feel when charging down a winding road, but no matter the setting, the steering is precise but numb.

Like other modern Audi models, the E-Tron Sportback feels tech rich and very well assembled.

Chris Paukert/Roadshow

A word on omissions and creeps

A note about the braking: Audi worked particularly diligently to blend the EV powertrain’s regenerative braking with traditional friction binders and the results do nothing to erode the Sportback’s air of overall effortlessness. Unlike some EVs, they’re easy to modulate thanks to consistent feel.

However, there’s one key thing the brakes don’t do nearly as well as many other EVs: one-pedal driving. While Audi worked in a user-selectable setting with stronger regenerative braking than early E-Trons, it’s not close to being enough to enable one-pedal driving. According to company officials, Audi engineers deliberately chose to limit lift-off regen in the name of maximum efficiency. Admirable as that may be, lots of EV drivers tell Roadshow they quickly fall in love with single-pedal driving and not offering a driver-selectable setting to accommodate this popular customer preference feels like more than a minor exclusion — it feels both shortsighted and needlessly overbearing.

Similarly, it’s also odd that Audi’s coders haven’t made a forward-creep setting available. Manual-transmission cars aside, nearly every modern vehicle rolls forward slowly from a stop when the brake pedal is released, as when pulling away from a stop sign or inching forward in a left-hand turn lane. Not the E-Tron. You have to nudge the accelerator. You get used to this, of course, but if the goal is to make transitioning from a traditional ICE model as easy as possible, this is an omission.

The E-Tron comes with standard 360-degree, top-down camera coverage for easy parking.

Chris Paukert/Roadshow

Interior and infotainment tech

The cabin certainly feels a bit more intimate and racier, but that’s mostly when looking in the rearview mirror or if you’re seated in the second row. TL;DR: Plenty of leg, knee and toe room, but headroom is a bit tight for those over 5 feet, 9 inches and the windows don’t roll down very far.

As far as cargo volume goes, it’s largely unaffected by the coupification process. The Sportback offers 27.2 cubic feet of space behind the rear seats, or 54.5 with them folded (decreases of 1.3 and 2.0 versus the standard E-Tron, respectively).

Beyond that, the Sportback’s insides are pure modern Audi, which is to say impeccably assembled, tastefully decorated and rocking an impressive tech hand. Thanks to a trio of large displays, one for the Virtual Cockpit gauge cluster and two for the touchscreen MMI infotainment system, when the power is off, the E-Tron Sportback’s cabin look is almost eerily minimalist, particularly when rendered in darker colors like this one. That doesn’t mean it’s boring inside, though. By comparison, the Model Y’s pared-back dashboard and single display may nail the minimalist yoga-studio-on-wheels aesthetic, but thanks to its significantly cheaper materials and occasionally frustrating controls, Fremont’s finest doesn’t deliver the same sense of serenity and solidity as the Sportback.

You take the Tesla. Namaste in this Audi, friend.

Second-row space is quite good, though those taller than 5 feet, 9 inches may want to slouch a little.

Chris Paukert/Roadshow

E-Tron Sportback model years and pricing

Earlier, I mentioned that the E-Tron Sportback sits between the Tesla Model Y and X in price and indeed, it does. That said, further explanation is necessary. Due to COVID-19-related production and shipping hiccups, both 2020 and 2021 model-year Sportbacks are trickling into dealers more or less simultaneously and unlike Team Elon, all E-Trons remain eligible for the full $7,500 federal tax credit.

A very short 2020 model-year run consists of two models: A midrange Premium Plus spec that include features like adaptive cruise control, 360-degree camera suite and 16-speaker Bang and Olufsen 3D audio for $78,445 (including $1,045 for delivery). The other choice is an all-boxes-checked 2020 Edition One like the example seen in these images. It adds the Prestige Package, which includes features like the aforementioned twin charge ports, head-up display, massaging contour front seats, full leather (including dash, armrests and center console) and even an air ionizer/fragrance dispenser. Just 200 Edition One models will be sold in the US and you’ll be able to spot them on the street by their special Plasma Blue metallic paint and the 21-inch bi-color wheels shrouding orange brake calipers. Price? A heady $89,540 with destination.

Interestingly, for the 2021 model year, Audi significantly retooled the E-Tron Sportback’s model line, enabling a much lower starting price. A new entry-level Premium trim starts at $70,145 delivered and it’s rather well equipped, including standard features like four-zone climate control and 20-inch alloys. Mid-trim Premium Plus models add ventilated 12-way power seats, matrix LED headlamps, B&O audio, wireless charging and a driver-assistance package, among other features for $79,045 delivered. Go whole hog on a Prestige to net nearly all of the features from the Edition One and you’re looking at $83,345 in your driveway before any federal, state and local tax incentives.

Modestly slicker than its more upright E-Tron sibling, Audi is hoping this Sportback can jumpstart their EV sales.

Chris Paukert/Roadshow

It’s worth noting that a base Sportback is $3,700 more expensive than a regular E-Tron, a strategy that’s in-line with the industry’s “four-door coupe” SUV pricing trend: Same vehicle + different style – usable space = more money. While this value calculus perplexes your author, consumers have been supporting this type of math since the 2008 BMW X6, so more power — and profits — to ’em.

Overall, the new E-Tron Sportback combines impressive luxury with a fluid, unflappable feel. What this SUV doesn’t really muster, however, is an experience that’s materially much different than the standard E-Tron. The idea that the Sportback is sportier is largely an illusion and it would’ve been interesting to see what might’ve resulted had Audi elected to give this model its own driving character. Regardless, if you’re looking for luxury, quality and serenity now, the E-Tron Sportback delivers like few vehicles — electric or otherwise.

0 notes

sublimotion · 4 years

Text

Which Foam Roller Is Right For You?!

https://www.hosmerchiropractic.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/foamroller2-1024x1024.jpg

-OR-

I Want to Foam Roll All Night (And Roll Out Every Day)

Introduction

Now that there are more foam rollers out there than there are political opinions, it can be difficult to determine which one (or ones?) are right for you. We’ve rounded up some of our favorites (and some of our least favorites) to give you some advice on what you should look for in and what you should try and avoid when picking out your foam roller(s).

THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS OUT THERE, BUT DON’T GET BOGGED DOWN BY THE DECISION!

The Cliff’s Notes Version

If you don’t care why, and you just want to know what foam roller to buy here is a quick run down of our top 3. We go more into detail later on about why these 3 are the best, and a list of others that are suboptimal:

1st PLACE: The Vyper Vibrating Foam Roller

PROS: Excellent for joint foam rolling, and everything else. The vibrations reduce the time needed to do any mobilization, and also make it less painful. It’s durable. We have been using the most recent version (2.0) frequently in the clinic for 2 years now, and they show no signs of wearing down, breaking down, or lack of ability to hold a charge.

CONS: The price. Coming in at $200, it can be a bit spendy. However, the money you may save on massages and treatment could easily pay for itself.

HOSMER APPROVED? Heck to the yes we approved this! it’s our #1 choice of foam roller.

2nd PLACE: The M80

PROS: Great for joint mobilizations. Sturdy, very firm, will be able to hand this down to your grandchildren.

CONS: may be too firm for newbies.

HOSMER APPROVED? Absolutely! Until the Vyper came along, this was our favorite.

3rd Place: THE GRID X from TriggerPoint Performance

PROS: Not as brutal as the M80, but should be able to provide good joint mobilization.

CONS: Still dense enough to be too hard for some newcomers, or persons with sensitive muscles/injuries. Some people may need a firmer foam roller for joint mobilization, particularly SI joints.

HOSMER APPROVED? Yes.

WHY THE HECK DO WE FOAM ROLL ANYWAY?

To keep this simple and latin free (almost) , we foam roll to:

Relax sore and stiff muscles (e.g. tight calves or thighs) and/or

Mobilize stuck joints (Sacroiliac [SI] joints or the thoracic spine/upper back)

HOW DOES ONE FOAM ROLL?

If you ever want to see exercise specialists, physical therapists, or massage therapists get into a huge brawl, ask this question while in a group with them. There are many different opinions on how to do this. What we at Hosmer Chiropractic Health advise is the following approach:

Place a foam roller under a sore muscle.

Slowly roll the foam roller (think an inch-per-second) back and forth over a muscle, paying attention to tender spots along the muscles.

After you have located the biggest trigger point, STAY PERFECTLY STILL ON THAT SPOT. Give the tenderness a number between 0-10, 0 being nothing and 10 being stub-your toe-on-the-edge-of-the-banister pain.

Whatever that pain level is, we want it to decrease by AT LEAST a ⅓ or 30% before we move onto another spot. Quicky math lesson: if your pain is a 9/10, stay on the spot until it goes down to a 6/10. IF it’s a 6/10, stay on it until it goes down to a 4/10, etc. Try to be exact, but don’t feel like you have to break out a calculator to figure this out. It should be a noticeable decrease.

This should take 20-30 seconds for the spot to release, but if it is really seized up, it may take longer. Don’t spend time on a spot that doesn’t give after you’ve been on it for a minute. Sometimes if you release a spot a little higher or a little lower it will cause that stubborn trigger point to release. However, there is also a chance you might be on a nerve, which is never a good idea. You can’t foam roll a nerve away. That brings up another point: When you are foam rolling, The tenderness should be where the roller is located, and it should never feel like burning, tingling, or an ”electrical” sensation (these are all signs that you are irritating a nerve).

GOLDILOCKS AND THE FOAM ROLLERS

Much like Goldilocks search for the perfect bed, we want to find a foam roller that isn’t too soft or too hard, but just right (we just don’t want to break into an innocent family’s house to determine this.) But that perfect foam roller will vary from person to person, and also from what the intended purpose is. For example, a person is going to need a very firm foam roller for a SI mobilization, but might need a softer foam roller for when rolling out their lateral thigh/IT band region. Also, the first foam roller you got might have felt very intense and was great at getting some superficial trigger points, but now you may need something firmer to get the deeper knots that lie below. On the flip side, a person who has never foam rolled before could feel worse if they roll out with a very hard foam roller.

Yes, We Are Biased.

Yes, we are hell bent for leather when it comes to making sure your joints are working properly. One of the many reasons why we like (certain) firm foam rollers is that they can be an excellent tool to mobilize a locked up SI joint or your thoracic spine. So you may notice we are biased to foam rollers that are firm and can mobilize these often troublesome joints. However, many of the traits that make for a great joint foam roller tool also make for an overall great foam roller, so it’s win-win!

Criteria for a good foam roller:

It should maintain its shape

Should be roughly 4½ inches in diameter.

It should be firm enough to provide release for sore muscles and some specific joints, but not so hard that you can pave a road with it.

Now, there are some specialty rollers that do not fall into our category as a “good” foam roller. Does that mean your blue MELT method foam roller is worthless? Absolutely not. It is designed for a very specific treatment (the MELT Method). I have done MELT in the past, and found that it was awesome. However, for what we are trying to achieve, we would not recommend that roller. So without further ado, here is a review of some often used foam rollers, and our ranking of them. We have listed them from softest to hardest, but that is not necessarily in order of approval, so we have also listed their ranking #.

SOFT

THE ORIGINAL WHITE FOAM ROLLER (6th/last place)

These are the best foam rollers ever! …if it was 2001. Womp womp.

Don’t get me wrong. You can still listen to “No More Drama” by Mary J Blidge and keep watching FRIENDS (but should you?). However, let’s update your foam roller. Here is why we are not crazy about these foam rollers, but I will also talk about where they might have a roll (get it? “Roll”?) in relaxing your muscles.

Biggest problem? THEY ARE TOO SOFT. We want a foam roller that will keep its shape, and those white pool noodle foam rollers give too much:

See what my thumb did there? If you are trying to mobilize your SI joint on one of these, you won’t. That stuck joint will make a cozy little nest for itself in this marshmallow cylinder, thus preventing that stuck joint from getting mobilized. Also if you are trying to release a locked up muscle, it may not provide enough pressure for it to release.

When would these soft rollers be a good idea? If you have never foam rolled before it might be a nice introduction. Also, for people with overactive nerve dysfunctions (such as fibromyalgia) or poor circulation, this might be the right fit for you.

PROS: inexpensive. Very soft, so could be good for people with overactive nerve issues (fibromyalgia) overly sensitive muscle conditions.

CONS: softness will prevent the ability of this to scan/adjust SI joints, or give a release to to tight muscles

HOSMER APPROVED? No, unless you have very specific conditions.

FIRM

4th Place (Traditional) TriggerPoint Therapy Foam Rollers

These are probably the most popular foam rollers we have at Hosmer Chiropractic health. They have a hard plastic inner cylinder like the GRID-X and the M80, but the outside cushion has more give than either of these. This is a blessing and (a little bit) of a curse at the same time; the softer cushion is very forgiving on tender muscles, and may be great as a person’s first foam roller. However, it can be difficult to determine which SI joint is tight when scanning. Still, it is a pretty great foam roller that will last for years.

PROS: maintains its shape, gentle enough for most beginners

CONS: may be too soft for SI scanning/mobilizations, and may lose its effectiveness for deeper muscle release

HOSMER APPROVED? Yes, but we would generally recommend the M80 over this if you can tolerate it.

THE BRIDGE BETWEEN VERY FIRM AND FIRM:

The 3rd Place: THE GRID X FROM TRIGGERPOINT PERFORMANCE

The GRID X from TriggerPoint Performance is the hardest foam roller this company provides. It’s set apart from other foam rollers by TriggerPoint by it’s cautionary red inner cylinder. However, it’s not as hard as the M80. You could probably get a good SI mobilization, but it won’t provide the same clear feedback as the Vyper or the M80. However, it will be easier to tolerate on sore muscles, or on your upper back.

PROS: Not as brutal as the M80, but should be able to provide good joint mobilization.

CONS: Still dense enough to be too hard for some newcomers, or persons with sensitive muscles/injuries. Some people may need a firmer foam roller for joint mobilization, particularly SI joints.

HOSMER APPROVED? Yes.

HARD/VERY FIRM

2nd Place: The M80

It’s hard! It’s hard core! And not like Justin Bieber trying to act all hard, growing a weak, Shaggy from Scooby-Doo mustache. I’m talking like old school Ice-T hard. The lined grip on the M80 is thin and lean. It’s sturdy, and it will last you until the end of days. If you are on the fence about this being too hard for you, here is a cool trick: put a blanket on top of it initially. Then, when it feels less effective to use it with a blanket, you can remove it and use the roller. Viola! Who knew being hard core was so easy?

PROS: Great for joint mobilizations. Sturdy, very firm, will be able to hand this down to your grandchildren.

CONS: may be too firm for newbies.

HOSMER APPROVED? Absolutely! Until the Vyper came along, this was our favorite.

THE DARK HORSE:

THE BLACK COMPOSITE FOAM ROLLER (5th place)

So, this one is the hardest foam roller. . .to classify. Brand new, it can be as firm as an M80, but in a month or so, maybe not so much. Also, there are SEVERAL companies that make versions of this, and some of them are much softer than others, so you may even start with a much softer foam roller than you thought. In addition, they can start to crumble over time. We have trouble recommending this because they don’t hold their shape, and the quality control on making these can be…not so quality.

PROS: inexpensive, lightweight, could provide some thoracic, rib, and Si joint mobilization initially.

CONS: Will lose firmness overtime, becoming less dependent for mobilizations, and eventually less effective for muscle release.

HOSMER APPROVED: …Eh. Not really.

The HYPERICE VYPER VIBRATING FOAM ROLLER (1st place + HCH’s preferred choice!)

When it comes to foam rollers, the Vyper is the king of kings. It’s firm, it won’t lose its shape over time, but it doesn’t feel as hard as, say, the M80 foam roller. Plus, the vibrating ability does a lot of things that a non-vibrating foam roller can’t. First, and probably the most important, is that vibrations disrupt our pain signals. Let’s face it, on a pain scale of 1 to 10, 1 being nothing and 10 being the worst of the worst, foam rolling your lateral thigh is like a 13 or a 14. The vibrations may not take away the pain completely, but it does take the edge off. This leads to tight muscles relaxing faster, and adhesions resolving quicker. Plus, the vibrations can get in deeper than the superficial pressure of a traditional foam roller.

Now, the Vyper is expensive, even as far as vibrating foam rollers go. Why do we like this one as opposed to other brands, which may be almost half the price? Basically they do not have the same vibrational strength as The Vyper. The Vyper also has 3 different levels of vibration intensity, and we have not found another vibrating foam roller that can match its power.

PROS: Excellent for SI foam roller, and everything else. Vibrations reduce the time needed to do any mobilization, and also make it less painful. It’s durable. We have been using the most recent version (2.0) frequently in the clinic for 2 years now, and they show no signs of wearing down, breaking down, or lack of ability to hold a charge.

CONS: The price. Coming in at $200, it can be a bit spendy. However, the money you may save on massages and treatment could easily pay for itself.

HOSEMER APPROVED? Not only do we approved of it, it is our #1 choice of foam roller.

THE HARDEST OF THE HARD

Honorable mention goes to….

THE BOOM STICK AND THE PAIN PILL from KABUKI STRENGTH:

“Wait, you guys said foam rollers, not solid metal bars with OH MY LORD is that knurling in the middle?” Ok, Ok, you’re right. These are far from foam, but they can be used in a similar way, if you know what to do with them. However, these are very powerful tools, and the more powerful something is, the more careful you have to be with it. Even then, it is very possible to injure yourself. We suggest anyone who does get one, make sure you are trained in how to use them (which is outside the scope of this article, but https://store.kabukistrength.net/products/pain-pill does have some videos showing how to use this). We did not rank these because they are only for a small percentage of the population.

The Boom Stick and The Pain Pill would be great for

Upper level athletes who challenge themselves

Have been exposed to many other deep tissue and self myofascial release modalities, which may no longer be effective.

If a novice were to jump on one of these and try to use it as a foam roller, they could hurt themselves.

PROS: excellent for muscle laden ladies and lords who need some extra heff to get to deep knots.

CONS: could cause tissue damage if done incorrectly. Expensive.

HOSMER APPROVED: only if you can lift a small car, and you have proper knowledge on how to use it. Would not recommend to be the only foam roller you use.

THE GATOR by RUMBLEROLLER

The Gator is a firm, textured foam roller, like rolling on Keith Richards face. Well, maybe not that textured, but you get the picture. The texture can help to gently grip your skin and provide a gentle sheer force, helping to release some tissue. The texture also can provide gentle acupressure. This has all the making of a great foam roller, except the texture would make it difficult to do an SI scan. So If you do decide on this one, you would want a M80 or a Vyper to go with it. This also was not ranked because it is a specialty foam roller, and should not be your sole foam roller.

PROS: firm, relaxing texture that is not too aggressive. Could be great for thoracic mobilizations, and the acupressure effect can be great.

CONS: texture makes getting a SI adjustment/scan difficult, some people may not like the acupressure/gentle sheer effect on tissue.

HOSMER APPROVED? Only if you have a M80 or a Vyper to go with it.

GIMMICK FOAM ROLLERS WE DO NOT RECOMMEND:

THE STUDDED FOAM ROLLER

There are several companies that have released foam rollers like this. Their heart may be in the right place, but the results are not. According to Rogue’s website, these are designed to, “work like mimic thumb-like, deep tissue massage pressure,” but the problem is it is near impossible to get the damn thing in the right spot. You are much better off using a trigger point ball where you can directly target a specific spot. Plus, you are far more likely to hit a nerve or a rib when using a studded foam roller.

PROS: if the stars align, you just might target your trigger point

CONS: difficult to target, could injure another part of your body. Impossible to do SI foam rolling.

HOSMER APPROVED? Nope. This is something where the risk outweighs the benefit, and it’s not even the best way to target a specific trigger point.

In Conclusion

In a perfect world we would recommend the Vyper vibrating foam roller. If that is not in the budget, A M80 would be your next best choice, followed by the GRID X by TriggerPoint, or TriggerPoint’s traditional foam roller. Maybe you get the M80 and a Try to find the firmest foam roller that works for you. In the end, TriggerPoint foam roller? Remember, the best foam roller is the one that you use (provided it is not one that is going to cause damage like that weird studded foam roller). So there you have it! Hopefully this gives you a clear idea of what to look for and what to avoid. If you have any questions, you can always reach out to us here at the clinic. Thanks for reading, and be good to yourselves!

[Read More ...] https://www.hosmerchiropractic.com/blog/which-foam-roller-is-right-for-you/

#infrared sauna #health

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riveroaksauto · 4 years

Text

Which Foam Roller Is Right For You?!

-OR-

I Want to Foam Roll All Night (And Roll Out Every Day)

Introduction

THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS OUT THERE, BUT DON’T GET BOGGED DOWN BY THE DECISION!

The Cliff’s Notes Version

1st PLACE: The Vyper Vibrating Foam Roller

CONS: The price. Coming in at $200, it can be a bit spendy. However, the money you may save on massages and treatment could easily pay for itself.

HOSMER APPROVED? Heck to the yes we approved this! it’s our #1 choice of foam roller.

2nd PLACE: The M80

PROS: Great for joint mobilizations. Sturdy, very firm, will be able to hand this down to your grandchildren.

CONS: may be too firm for newbies.

HOSMER APPROVED? Absolutely! Until the Vyper came along, this was our favorite.

3rd Place: THE GRID X from TriggerPoint Performance

PROS: Not as brutal as the M80, but should be able to provide good joint mobilization.

CONS: Still dense enough to be too hard for some newcomers, or persons with sensitive muscles/injuries. Some people may need a firmer foam roller for joint mobilization, particularly SI joints.

HOSMER APPROVED? Yes.

WHY THE HECK DO WE FOAM ROLL ANYWAY?

To keep this simple and latin free (almost) , we foam roll to:

Relax sore and stiff muscles (e.g. tight calves or thighs) and/or

Mobilize stuck joints (Sacroiliac [SI] joints or the thoracic spine/upper back)

HOW DOES ONE FOAM ROLL?

Place a foam roller under a sore muscle.

Slowly roll the foam roller (think an inch-per-second) back and forth over a muscle, paying attention to tender spots along the muscles.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE FOAM ROLLERS

Yes, We Are Biased.

Criteria for a good foam roller:

It should maintain its shape

Should be roughly 4½ inches in diameter.

It should be firm enough to provide release for sore muscles and some specific joints, but not so hard that you can pave a road with it.

SOFT

THE ORIGINAL WHITE FOAM ROLLER (6th/last place)

These are the best foam rollers ever! …if it was 2001. Womp womp.

Biggest problem? THEY ARE TOO SOFT. We want a foam roller that will keep its shape, and those white pool noodle foam rollers give too much:

PROS: inexpensive. Very soft, so could be good for people with overactive nerve issues (fibromyalgia) overly sensitive muscle conditions.

CONS: softness will prevent the ability of this to scan/adjust SI joints, or give a release to to tight muscles

HOSMER APPROVED? No, unless you have very specific conditions.

FIRM

4th Place (Traditional) TriggerPoint Therapy Foam Rollers

PROS: maintains its shape, gentle enough for most beginners

CONS: may be too soft for SI scanning/mobilizations, and may lose its effectiveness for deeper muscle release

HOSMER APPROVED? Yes, but we would generally recommend the M80 over this if you can tolerate it.

THE BRIDGE BETWEEN VERY FIRM AND FIRM:

The 3rd Place: THE GRID X FROM TRIGGERPOINT PERFORMANCE

PROS: Not as brutal as the M80, but should be able to provide good joint mobilization.

CONS: Still dense enough to be too hard for some newcomers, or persons with sensitive muscles/injuries. Some people may need a firmer foam roller for joint mobilization, particularly SI joints.

HOSMER APPROVED? Yes.

HARD/VERY FIRM

2nd Place: The M80

PROS: Great for joint mobilizations. Sturdy, very firm, will be able to hand this down to your grandchildren.

CONS: may be too firm for newbies.

HOSMER APPROVED? Absolutely! Until the Vyper came along, this was our favorite.

THE DARK HORSE:

THE BLACK COMPOSITE FOAM ROLLER (5th place)

PROS: inexpensive, lightweight, could provide some thoracic, rib, and Si joint mobilization initially.

CONS: Will lose firmness overtime, becoming less dependent for mobilizations, and eventually less effective for muscle release.

HOSMER APPROVED: …Eh. Not really.

The HYPERICE VYPER VIBRATING FOAM ROLLER (1st place + HCH’s preferred choice!)

CONS: The price. Coming in at $200, it can be a bit spendy. However, the money you may save on massages and treatment could easily pay for itself.

HOSEMER APPROVED? Not only do we approved of it, it is our #1 choice of foam roller.

THE HARDEST OF THE HARD

Honorable mention goes to….

THE BOOM STICK AND THE PAIN PILL from KABUKI STRENGTH:

The Boom Stick and The Pain Pill would be great for

Upper level athletes who challenge themselves

Have been exposed to many other deep tissue and self myofascial release modalities, which may no longer be effective.

If a novice were to jump on one of these and try to use it as a foam roller, they could hurt themselves.

PROS: excellent for muscle laden ladies and lords who need some extra heff to get to deep knots.

CONS: could cause tissue damage if done incorrectly. Expensive.

HOSMER APPROVED: only if you can lift a small car, and you have proper knowledge on how to use it. Would not recommend to be the only foam roller you use.

THE GATOR by RUMBLEROLLER

PROS: firm, relaxing texture that is not too aggressive. Could be great for thoracic mobilizations, and the acupressure effect can be great.

CONS: texture makes getting a SI adjustment/scan difficult, some people may not like the acupressure/gentle sheer effect on tissue.

HOSMER APPROVED? Only if you have a M80 or a Vyper to go with it.

GIMMICK FOAM ROLLERS WE DO NOT RECOMMEND:

THE STUDDED FOAM ROLLER

PROS: if the stars align, you just might target your trigger point

CONS: difficult to target, could injure another part of your body. Impossible to do SI foam rolling.

HOSMER APPROVED? Nope. This is something where the risk outweighs the benefit, and it’s not even the best way to target a specific trigger point.

In Conclusion

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#healthy living

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lightandmatter · 5 years

Text

Many of us don’t give much thought to lens caps. When we use them at all, it’s the plastic pinch-caps that come with our lenses that go careening off at the slightest bump, forcing us to fish them out from under the parked cars where they inevitably roll. Some photographers skip them entirely and accept the risks of using a UV filter instead.

KUVRD and PolarPro give us a couple of additional options, though, and they’re worth considering. KUVRD produces two Universal Lens Caps, the Magnum and the Micro. The PolarPro Defender (see my “first impressions” here) comes in five sizes for lenses with threads ranging from 55mm up to 114mm. Both companies sent me units to test and review, so let’s take a look at how useful they each are.

Lens Protection

When it comes down to it, the most important purpose of a lens cap is to protect the front element, and in this regard, they both work. The Defender is a harder, thicker rubber cap with a rigid-plastic front plate to protect the front element. The KUVRD cap, on the other hand, is a more flexible silicone cap that stretches around the end of the lens and creates an airtight, waterproof seal (as long as the lens barrel is smooth enough).

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The PolarPro Defender is a thick rubber cap with a rigid plastic face-plate to protect your lens’s front element.

Note the ribbing on the interior of the Defender.

The PolarPro Defender, then, will provide better protection against bumps and drops, especially when it comes to anything that might poke into the optics. If you drop your lens on a jagged rock, the front element has a much better chance of surviving with the Defender (though similar protection would be offered by the KUVRD cap installed over the top of your stock lens cap.)

On the other hand, the Defender does not provide anything like a waterproof/dustproof seal. The ribbing on the interior of the cap (which make it easier to attach or remove) will definitely allow water or sand to penetrate and reach your front element. The KUVRD caps are much better in that regard. The deeper KUVRD caps also protect a larger portion of the lens barrel, though again, with a thinner layer of rubber.

After placing the Defender on a smooth glass, I ran it under water from the kitchen faucet for a few seconds and confirmed that the seal is not water-tight.

Practicality & Ease of Use

When it comes to practicality, there are a few things to consider:

How easy it is to get on and off the lens?

What do you do with it once it’s off?

How does it work with lens hoods?

Since the PolarPro Defender is relatively rigid and sized for specific lens diameters, it’s easy to slide over the front of the lens with one hand, and it can just as easily be removed (though it’s not so easy that there’s any risk of the cap falling off). The KUVRD caps, on the other hand, are floppy silicone rubber, and deeper than the Defender. They’re designed to be stretched out and pulled onto a lens, and it’s generally a two-handed job (though peeling the thing off can generally be done with one hand).

Great protection, but notice that my lens hood is nowhere in sight.

However, once you get the cap off, it’s the KUVRD model that’s easier to deal with. Since the Defender is harder rubber and plastic, it’s bulkier. If I’m traveling and walking around a city with my lens cap on and stop to take a photo, I’ll usually stick my pinch-cap in my pocket and then shoot. But unless you have baggy clothes, the Defender is not going to fit in your pocket (at least, not comfortably); it’s just too big and grippy. I often found that I had to hold it in my off-camera hand while trying to support the lens at the same time, which is a hassle.

The thinner, floppy KUVRD cap can easily be stuffed into a pocket, and even if you hold it in your off-hand, its flexibility makes it much more comfortable.

When I mentioned this concern to the folks at PolarPro, they suggested that the Defender might be best for photographers who use it in their camera bag and then leave it behind when they take the camera out to shoot, and I can see how that would make sense for photographers who work that way[mfn]I’m also of the opinion that if you need such a beefy lens cap to protect your lenses while they’re in your camera bag, it might make more sense to invest in a new camera bag rather than a bunch of expensive lens caps.[/mfn]. I don’t.

I always use lens hoods[mfn]…although I hated the white hood on the Sony 70-200 f/2.8 GM so much that it took me a long time to start using it regularly.[/mfn], and this can pose a problem with lens caps. If you buy a Defender to use on a lens, you can’t fit it onto the lens hood while you’re out walking around with your camera, so again, you’ll need to leave it in your camera bag, or worse, buy a second, larger cap to fit onto your hood.

The KUVRD cap that fits this 70-200mm lens will also fit over the lens hood (though the petal shape of this one makes it impractical when the hood is attached for shooting).

The KUVRD micro on the Canon 50mm f/1.4…

and on the Canon 50mm f/1.4 with lens cap attached.

The KUVRD caps are much more flexible, and can stretch to fit over the ends of many hoods, either while the hood is attached to the lens for shooting or reversed for travel. While reaching down into a lens hood to remove or replace a pinch-cap can be annoying, pulling a KUVRD cap from the outside of a lens hood is pretty simple.

Value

Most of the time I shoot Sony, now, but I also own Canon, Nikon and Pentax systems with a variety of lenses. Of course, I don’t carry most of it. I decide what I’m going to shoot, grab a few lenses and head out the door.

Luckily, this means that I wouldn’t really have to buy a dozen different specialty lens caps; I’ll only need as many as lenses I’m likely to carry at a time (three or four). With the PolarPro Defender caps, though, this will take a little planning, since the caps are sized to fit specific lenses and/or lens hoods. The KUVRD caps only come in two sizes and will fit a wider variety of lenses.

A 77-82mm PolarPro Defender costs about $30, and a single KUVRD cap costs just a couple of dollars less (about $28), but they can also be bought in multi-packs at a discount (2 for $50, 4 for $90, etc). There’s also an “original” version of the KUVRD cap that is intermediate in size between the Magnum and Micro, and costs about $15. All carry a lifetime warranty. If you manage to break or tear your KUVRD cap, they’ll replace it for free.

Both caps are a big improvement over standard pinch-caps, but as good as they are, $30 for a lens cap is asking a lot, though a lifetime warranty helps. It’s probably worth it to protect your multi-thousand dollar optics, but I can’t say that they’re a great deal. The original KUVRD cap, which is about half the price of the Magnum/Micro v2.0 line, is a good price, though.

If you’re interested in the KUVRD cap, there are cheaper Chinese knock-offs out there for about $10, generally sized like the original KUVRD cap. You won’t get a warranty, and I’d be wary of the quality. It’s probably worth spending a little more on a KUVRD.

Conclusion & Summary

Both caps offer excellent protection, but like everything in photography, your choice should depend on how you actually work and what you personally need. Ultimately, the PolarPro Defender will offer greater protection to the front element of your lens against collisions, while the KUVRD caps will offer greater protection against sand and water. Both protect against general dust and smudges and minor abrasions.

If you’re looking for one-handed operation in the field, the PolarPro Defender is easy to install with one hand, and both can be easily removed with one hand. If you don’t usually work with a camera bag handy or want a cap that’s easy to deal with when off of the lens, the KUVRD has the advantage, but if you will mainly be using it in your camera bag or can easily stick it inside a pack when you remove it, the PolarPro may make more sense for you.

If you always use lens hoods like I do, make sure that you find a cap solution that will work with them. I find the KUVRD caps are much more flexible in this regard.

After having access to both options for a couple of months, I do find that I reach for the PolarPro for those time when I feel like it will work for me; it’s easier to install and remove, and that’s a big factor. However, those times are pretty few and far between. Ultimately, I tend to use the KUVRD caps because they give me the kind of protection that I need while being easy to stow away in the field and they allow me to carry my lens hoods.

Which Would You Choose?

Let me know below, along with any questions or concerns that you have about either range of caps. Think that there’s some factor that I didn’t consider? Also let me know. Thanks!

KUVRD vs PolarPro Defender: Which Lens Cap Is Better? Many of us don't give much thought to lens caps. When we use them at all, it's the plastic pinch-caps that come with our lenses that go careening off at the slightest bump, forcing us to fish them out from under the parked cars where they inevitably roll.

#defender #KUVRD #polarpro

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chuyenvienmatrixfield · 5 years

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With Teleport, Quantum time, Quantum space, Quantum particles,to build Matrix and to run the Matrix, Quantum time to stop cancer, dark matter for fuel,Quanta fields,Atomic transformation those above will work with 6 G, better than 5G and American might be a head of time again one word only MONEY NO NEED TO UPDATE FROM 4G TO 5G , BUT MONEY IS BIG IT IS THAT WHY 5G THERE IS NOT MUCH DIFFERENT FROM 4G TO 5G, BUT MONEY TO TAKE OVER FROM 4G TO 5G THE 6G MIGHT BE WAY DIFFERNCE FROM 4G AND 5G: 6G IT MEANT TRAVEL IN TIME TELEPORT, QUANTUM TIME, MATRIX, RUN THE UNIVERSE, QUANTUM STATES,TRAVEL TO THE OTHER STARS,CREATE MATTER WORLDWILL FIND WHO YOU ARE BEFORE YOU ARE, WHERE WILL YOU GO AFTER WHO YOU ARE IT MIGHT MEAN THERE ARE N.NN X10^400 POSSIBLE REALITIES, YOU ARE WEARING 18ceo SUPER VIRTUAL REALITY GOGGLES WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT AND YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW HOW YOUR 18CEO UPER VIRTUAL REALITY WORKS YOUR UNIVERSE ONLY MIGHT BE M.MMX10^195 QUANTA QUANTITATIVELY SMALLER THAN YOUR POSSIBLE REALITIES IS N.NNX10^400 QUANTA QUANTITATIVELY!!!!!!!!!!QUANTUM UNIVERSE IS WHERE YOU GO AFTER HERE! THE PROBELEMS ARE: YOU ARE IN DIFFERENT FREQUENCY, DIFFERENT FORMATION, DIFFERENT TIME, DIFFERENT SPACE , DIFFERENT WAVES AND DIFFERENT PARTICLES QUANTUM SPACES ARE DIFFERENT FROM QUANTUM PARTICLES Tho Huynh Smallest Particles Dynamics (Tho Huynh Top Paradox "Smallest Particles are not Smallest, something else is!") Final Particles Mfg (Former is as THE THO SCIENCE since 1998) You might learn how to transfer, transform, transmit Hydrogen to Gold; for example, then you get 103 other Elements Principles for Free! Dark Matter Maker. (I can show you the easy way to make Dark Matter that Today Science does not even know yet!) Matrix Field Expert (ThoH Particles Field of the Universe Expert) Matrix President. (ThoH Particles Field of the Universe President) ( or Simply as Particles Field of the Universe President) Quantum Quanta Field OF THE UNIVERSE Founder. 3 Different Sizes of Quantum Quanta Universes have been found by THO HUYNH on November 26 2018 Thanksgiving. Monday, at 8:40 AM (n.nn x 10^120 Quanta, m.mmx10^140 Quanta, and q.qq x 10^190 Quanta) 85x2=170 more particles after particles of standard model (THEORY OF EVERYTHING AS THE NAME I REFUSED TO USE) Dark Waves Founder (It might lead to some kind of MAN MADE LIGHT PARTICLES and then questionable Maxwell Equation about Light Waves) Science of Reincarnation (Brand New Science in the World on Earth) (Reincarnation has been known for Thousands of years in Buddhism and Hinduism, nothing new, however, Science of Reincarnation is Brand New first day in 2017, Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, 23 USA by Tho Huynh as Founder) (Everybody deserves to know Where and Who He/She will be next scientifically and physically!) Teleport First Information From Reincarnation Science. "Teleport is as Reincarnation in short cut" "Reincarnation is as Life Time Teleport" Tho Huynh Science of Reincarnation First. Birth and Rebirth Processing Book for $11.00 USD. Mojo Books & Records Address: 2540 E Fowler Ave, Tampa, FL 33612, USA. Hours : 10:00–22:00 Telephone: (813) 971-9717***************************** Universe of Time or Time Universe a newest discovery from The Matrix Field. Time T = 0 is as instantaneous Time that Universe of Time can use to make things beyond Human Imagination! or something for Time Travel ability that not seen in the world before! "Nothing is neither created nor destroyed in Physical Conditions Universe" "Everything is formed or gone by Preconditions or/and Conditions continuously!" "Everything is Formed or gone Dynamically or/and transformally continuously!" Tho Huynh Newest Law of Nature and Life. 18CEO, 18COE, 18ECO, 18EOC, 18OCE, 18OEC SUPER VIRTUAL REALITY GOGGLES Copies PRODUCER! (Quantum States and Time Universe) Isaac Newton Gravity another Missing Half. Tho Huynh PUSH GRAVITY There are: 8.1 x 10^200 Possible Combinations of 121 Different Kinds of Mind = 8.1 x 10^200 PCo121DKoM. 121DIFFERENT KINDS OF MINDS MIGHT LEAD TO 7.89 X 10^370+ - 10^3.58 POSSIBLE REALITIES. Mind and Possible Realities are Both Larger than MAX UNIVERSE at n.nn x10^140 QUANTA quantitatively in QUANTUM FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE (MAX QUANTUM FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE IS ABOUT n.nn x 10^120 Quanta up to m.mmx10^190 Quanta in Quantum Universe by the way) THERE ARE 6 FORCES; INSTEAD OF 4 FORCES! [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Note: (#1)Science of Reincarnation I mentioned above is at Limit Scientific and Physical only, I did not observe anything about Spiritual yet! Even if I might learn something about Spiritual Part, I still did not want to say anything about it! Only Scientific and Physical Parts of Science of Reincarnation for now !!!!!!!! (#2) THERE ARE 6 FORCES: 1a) Electromagnetic Force. 2b) Weak Nuclear Force. 3c) Strong Nuclear Force. 4d) Isaac Newton First Half of Gravity (1643-1727) Pull Gravity. Isaac Newton Might have mistaken PULL GRAVITY is as GRAVITY, Due to Rotation; Unfortunately, REALITY might say PUSH GRAVITY before ROTATION (Motion) and AFTER ROTATION (MOTION) might be as REAL GRAVITY . . . . . . . . . Isaac Newton has missed Causality and Effect (Results) to Proceed and Process back and Forth to Double Checks on Forces and Gravity, even Today Science and Today Physics have missed such Causality and Effect to Proceed and Process Back and Forth to Double Checks on the causes OF FORCES & GRAVITY after 2018 - 1643 = 375 years if I used Isaac Newton Birth Year as my Mark of time! It is even worse Isaac Newton has mistaken PULL GRAVITY is as GRAVITY; instead, PUSH GRAVITY supposed to be as REAL GRAVITY before Rotation and After Rotation (Motion in General) !!!!!! Galileo Galilei and Isaac Newton cannot and could not and Fail to realize that Gravity is more complex and Complicated than what they could see at their Time. IT involved: Equilibrium and Rotation (Motion), Plus (+) and Minus (-) in Electric Domain, Pull Gravity and Push Gravity, Positions and Timing, Planet Field and Solar Field . . . . . May be Isaac Newton should have some visions in terms of Yin and Yang . . . . Let use some movements of Jet System in Space to analog about Pull and Push Gravity along the way Earth Move around the Sun in its Orbit, it is about 904,778,684.2 km = 565,486,677.6 miles . . . . It turns out to be sometime Push and sometime Pull and sometime Push and Pull Gravity together or sometime none, etc, etc, etc . . . . Do not forget Mars and Venus! Besides, Isaac Newton and Today Science and Today Physics have missed a very Important Law of Space for 375 years as I list below: "There are always 2 sides of Space to begin with, No Matter What!"-Tho Huynh Law of Space I take examples to explain: Front Space-Back Space, Above Space-Below Space, Left Space-Right Space, Top Space-Bottom Space, Up Space-Down Space, Inside Space-Outside Space, In Space-Out Space, etc, etc, etc . . . There are more Laws of Spaces; however, it is enough for Today! It is even more interesting with Projection Earth Motion on Suface to see Cycloids defined Earth Gravity and Forces . . . . . . Note: Do not think or misunderstand PUSH GRAVITY is as EQUAL FORCE and OPPOSITE REACTION of PULL GRAVITY as I have pointed out above and as ISAAC NEWTON THIRD LAW has pointed out 375 years ago!!!!!!!! THEY ARE STILL HAVING TO OBEY ISAAC NEWTON THIRD LAW, BUT THEY ARE INDEPENDENCE FROM EACH OTHER Relatively!!! DO NOT LET THE NAMES FOOL YOU OR PROCESS OF THINKING FOOL YOU . ..!!!!!!! As I expose above, now we can say Rotation or Motion in general has caused PULL GRAVITY and Isaac Newton has explained Parts of it 2018 - 1643 = 375 years ago; however, with QUANTUM FIELD has been found, then M = 1kg might mean M = n.nn x10^27 Quanta and it will change F = ma for better with Forces in Quantum Field Universe; besides, RELATIVE MATHEMATICS IS AS ANOTHER FACTOR TO CONTRIBUTE FOR BETTER FORCES IN PHYSICS, TODAY PHYSICS AND TODAY SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Next Question is : "What Causes PUSH GRAVITY and How PUSH GRAVITY works on its objects?" IT MIGHT BECOME A GREAT QUESTION IN 21 st Century TO BE ANSWERED BY TODAY SCIENCE AND TODAY PHYSICS! The Answer might be Full of Surprise in Modern Science and Today Physics in 21 st century!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5e) Tho Huynh Second Half of Gravity (2018) PUSH GRAVITY. 6f) The 6 th Force (Temporary Name Called to keep my secret and copy right) (#3) Mind is as Medium for Universe, Universe is as Medium for Life, and Life is as Medium for Mind, so on and So forth . . . . The Mind might project the Universe, the Universe project Life, and Life Project mind . . . . AND VICE VERSA . . . They are all the same and they are Nothing! Life might have 500! Facts of Life might lead to Possible Combinations of 500 Facts in Life, PCo500FIL: PCo500FiL = 500! = 1.220136825 x 10^1134 It is Larger and Bigger than 10^200 Possible Combinations of 121 Different Kinds of Minds and Max Universe 10^140 Quanta and 10^370 Possible Realities Quantitatively in Quantum Quanta Field of the Universe; however, Life is Limited Space if I base on Facts of Life on Earth and Observe facts of Life on Earth, then Life Space is smaller than Mind Space and Max Universe Space and Possible Realities 7.89 x 10^370 PR Space, then Limited Space will put Life facts in some compacts and Limits to develop or Developments!!!!!!!!!!!!! Note: Please do not say what I have said if you are not me, because it might cause Negativity on you! Nothing does not mean 0 or Empty Space or Absolute 0 or Nihilism or Emptiness or NO from YES! (#4) MY COMMENT------THO HUYNH COMMENT BELOW: As I said before some where else, I would say again HERE with My List Below: 1) Einstein Space Time missed Quantum Time. 2)Einstein Gravitational Space Time missed Equilibrium States! 3)Einstein Ring missed Dynamics (Transition) from Cubic States to Spherical States! Not Just By Only Gravity, But Combination of Both) 4)Einstein Knew Time Dilation, but Einstein did not know Time Oscillation! It is even worse, Albert Eintein has confused about Space and Speed, Distance Functions and Space Functions! Albert Einstein is also confused about Dynamics and Observations and Observers within "All Laws of Physics should be the same for all Observers and Observations"; he missed Direct Dynamics to Indirect Dynamics! Time Dilation is Right Idea; however, Einstein manners to explain Time Dilation with Speed Of Light is not as OKAY!!!!!! It is terrible Manner! Einstein supposed to have Time Dilation and Time Oscillation together to have whole set of time in his Relativity; unfortunately, he missed them together! 5)Einstein Vacuum Medium and Aether (somebody else proposed and Einstein accepted) did not work! 6) Einstein did not Realize Isaac Newton Missed PUSH GRAVITY! 7) Einstein did not realize Space 0 is not Equal Quantum 0 Basically and Dynamically ! ! ! 8)Most of All, Einstein failed to reach THE MATRIX or ThoH Particles Field of the Universe or Simply as Particles Field of the Universe OR IT IS JUST AS QUANTUM QUANTA FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE OR IT IS AS THEORY OF EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! (NOTE: Without THE MATRIX or THOH PARTICLES FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE or simply as PARTICLES FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE or it is just as QUANTUM QUANTA FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE, then there is no such thing is as THEORY OF EVERYTHING! With THE MATRIX, there is no need for THEORY OF EVERYTHING; however, if you can call SPACE IS AS THEORY, NOT A REAL THING, then you can call THE MATRIX is as THEORY OF EVERYTHING! If you call Space is as A THING, REAL THING, then THE MATRIX is not as A THEORY, THE MATRIX is as A REAL THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Due to Business Lately! I would call THE MATRIX IS AS THEORY OF EVERYTHING any way; even though, I did not agree WITHIN MYSELF in some Data and facts related to THE MATRIX FIELD NAME and THEORY OF EVERYTHING . . .) (#5) NOTE: Law of CAUSALITY and EFFECT (RESULTS) has existed in the Universe for Billions of years, it might be long as the Age of the Universe. Siddhartha Gautama, The Buddha, has found Laws of Causality and Effect 2600 years ago today, I am as the First to look at CAUSALITY and EFFECT in Manner of Science, I am as the First Person who use Science to observe CAUSALITY and RESULTS. I am also as the FIRST PERSON to Observe CAUSALITY and EFFECT Scientifically!!!!!! However, Siddhartha Gautama way is better than Scientific way, because Siddhartha way is for Happiness, Enlightenment, and Free; meant time, Scientific way will lead to Dead End one way or the other way, simply this Universe or Quantum Quanta Universe is BIG, really Big, Bigger Universe, but it is Limited, Really Big Limits for Time Being!!!!! Tho [email protected] QUANTA FIELD OF THE UNIVERSE FOUNDER Florida, Brooksville, USA, 34602. ‎Sunday, ‎September ‎30, ‎2018, ‏‎12:50:37 PM Above it is as First Day AND BIRTHDAY for Science of Natural Law Causality and Effect (Results) on Earth. (#6) Scientists, Science, and Physics said Higgs Field gave Mass to the Particles. Tho Huynh said: "Higgs Field is not Quantum Quanta Field of the Universe! " Quantum Quanta Fields of the Universe are not Higgs Field "Quantum Quanta Fields are the Mass of the Universe. "Quantum Quanta Field gave Mass to Particles, simply because Quantum Quanta Fields are the Mass of the Universe! (#7) Life is Suck! Suck is Good! Good is Life! -- 3 Steps to Life Good! Life Sucks! Suck Good! Good Life!- 3 Steps to Good Life! What is Life? Life is Like Atoms, you do not know them, they will lead you where they supposed to! Life is as Atoms, you know them, you will lead them where you want to or set them Free! Tho Huynh-Life Good-Florida, Wednesday 12 December 2018 USA (Page 3 of 3)

#technology

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thedancemostofall · 5 years

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notes on eating

Ruby Tandoh on Sugar

The idea of a monolithic, wondrous, dreadful sugar would hardly have made sense to medieval cooks. Sweetness was not a category, but a seasoning

In many cultures, this sugar-salt symphony is still foundational. “The food I grew up eating every night — that is to say, Persian home cooking — is all about balancing the plate with sweet and sour, salty and rich, crisp and soft,” says Nosrat. “Fresh and dried fruits — pomegranates, sour cherries, dates, raisins — all regularly found their way onto our dinner plates. So I have always been drawn to a little sweetness in my food.”

How has sweetness — something we are evolutionarily programmed to like, for survival — come to stand in for sex and escapism and hedonism? Humans are metaphor machines, and our mouths are liminal places where food and words mingle, where hot dogs, tagliatelle, and Nigerian puff puff meet “my name is,” memory, and “I.” True synesthesia — the blurring between one sense and another — is relatively rare, but its logic pervades our language, so that trumpets might sound hot, or sadness taste sour. One study found that honeycomb toffee tastes less sweet when eaten whilst listening to a “bitter” soundtrack than when eaten whilst listening to a “sweet” soundtrack. And our senses don’t just crisscross randomly — “How come silence is sweet but sweetness isn’t silent?” one paper asked.

https://www.eater.com/2018/8/6/17631452/ruby-tandoh-sugar-history-kara-walker-will-cotton

Taffy Brodesser-Aknery on Losing it in the Anti-Dieting Age

About two years ago, I decided to yield to what every statistic I knew was telling me and stop trying to lose weight at all. I decided to stop dieting, but when I did, I realized I couldn’t. I didn’t know what or how to eat. I couldn’t fathom planning my food without thinking first about its ability to help or hinder a weight-loss effort. I went to a nutritional therapist to help figure this out (dieting, I have found, is its own chronic condition), and I paid her every week so I could tell her that there still had to be a way for me to lose weight. When she reminded me that I was there because I had realized on my own that there was no way to achieve this goal, I reminded this wonderful, patient person that she couldn’t possibly understand my desperation because she was skinny. I had arthritis in my knees, I said. Morality and society aside, they hurt. I have a sister with arthritis in her knees, too, but she’s skinny and her knees don’t hurt.

I went to an intuitive-eating class — intuitive eating is where you learn to feed yourself based only on internal signals and not external ones like mealtimes or diet plans. Meaning it’s just eating what you want when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. There were six of us in there, educated, desperate fat women, doing mindful-eating exercises and discussing their pitfalls and challenges. We were given food. We would smell the food, put the food on our lips, think about the food, taste the food, roll the food around in our mouths, swallow the food. Are you still hungry? Are you sure? The first week it was a raisin. It progressed to cheese and crackers, then to cake, then to Easter candy. We sat there silently, as if we were aliens who had just arrived on Earth and were learning what this thing called food was and why and how you would eat it. Each time we did the eating exercise, I would cry. ‘‘What is going on for you?’’ the leader would ask. But it was the same answer every time: I am 41, I would say. I am 41 and accomplished and a beloved wife and a good mother and a hard worker and a contributor to society and I am learning how to eat a goddamned raisin. How did this all go so wrong for me?

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/02/magazine/weight-watchers-oprah-losing-it-in-the-anti-dieting-age.amp.html

Oprah- how did i let this happen again?

"How Did I Let This Happen Again?" Photo: Matthew RolstonFour years ago, when Oprah managed to get down to a trim and fit 160 pounds, she thought she'd hit on a foolproof formula for permanent weight loss. Then life—in the form of a thyroid problem and a killer schedule—intervened. Last year she was back up to the 200-pound mark and knew something had to change. After a desperately needed time-out to reflect and recharge, here's what she's learned, what she's doing differently, and what's next.You know how bad you feel when you have a special event, a reunion, a wedding, a bar mitzvah, and you wanted to lose that extra 10 to 40 pounds, and you didn't do it? So the day comes and now you've got to try to find something to wear that makes you feel halfway decent, and you have to figure out how to hold in your stomach all night and walk backward out of the room so no one sees that your butt keeps moving even when you stop. Multiply that feeling by a million—make that more than 2.4 million for every Oreader—and you'll know how I've felt over the past year every time I had to shoot a cover for O. If you're a regular subscriber, you'll notice you've not seen a head-to-toe shot all year. Why? Because I didn't want to be seen. " In 1992 I reached my heaviest, 237 pounds. I was 38. Then, four years ago, I made it a goal to lose weight, and I appeared on the January 2005 cover (left) at a toned 160 pounds. I thought I was finished with the weight battle. I was done. I'd conquered it. I was so sure, I was even cocky. I had the nerve to say to friends who were struggling, "All you have to do is work out harder and eat less! Get your 10,000 steps in! None of that starchy stuff!" Bam! Karma is a bear of a thing. So here I stand, 40 pounds heavier than I was in 2006. (Yes, you're adding correctly; that means the dreaded 2-0-0.) I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, "How did I let this happen again?" It happened slowly. In February 2007, at 53, I started to have some health issues. At first I was unable to sleep for days. My legs started swelling. My weight started creeping up, first 5 pounds, then 10 pounds. I was lethargic and irritable. My internal clock seemed totally out of whack. I began having rushing heart palpitations every time I worked out. Okay, I've never loved daily exercise, but this was different. I actually developed a fear of working out. I was scared that I would pass out. Or worse. I felt as if I didn't know my own body anymore. After many trips to various doctors, I received a diagnosis. I had hyperthyroidism (an overactive thyroid that can speed up metabolism and cause weight loss—but of course didn't make me lose a single pound) and then gradually started moving into hypothyroidism (a sluggish metabolism that can cause fatigue and weight gain). My doctor prescribed medication and warned me that I must "learn to embrace hunger" or I would immediately gain weight. Believe me, no part of me was prepared to embrace hunger. It seemed as if the struggle I'd had with weight my entire adult life was now officially over. I felt completely defeated. I thought, "I give up. I give up. Fat wins." All these years I'd had only myself to blame for lack of willpower. Now I had an official, documented excuse. The thyroid diagnosis felt like some kind of prison sentence. I was so frustrated that I started eating whatever I wanted—and that's never good. My drug of choice is food. I use food for the same reasons an addict uses drugs: to comfort, to soothe, to ease stress. I switched doctors and still gained weight. At one point I was on three medications: one for heart palpitations, another for high blood pressure, another to moderate my thyroid. Who knew this tiny butterfly gland at the base of the throat had so much power? When it's off, your whole body feels the effects. [For more information about thyroid disorders, see The Truth About the Thyroid.] I followed my doctor's orders to the letter (except for the part about working out). I took the prescribed medication religiously at the same time each day. Being medicated, though necessary, made me feel as if I were viewing life through a veil. I felt like an invalid. Everything was duller. I felt like the volume on life got turned down. I realized this to some extent, but I wasn't fully aware of the effect of the medication until I had a conversation with my friend Bob Greene. He'd given up lecturing me about working out and eating well, but we were walking together one day and he said, "I think something's wrong. You're listless. Your movements are slower, even when you're just doing normal stuff. Twice I've told you something and you don't remember it. There's no sparkle in your eyes. I think you're in some sort of depression." Me—depressed? I hadn't thought I was, but definitely something was off. I felt like the life force was being sucked out of me. I always had an excuse for being tired. It took extra effort to do everything. I didn't want to go anywhere, and I didn't want to be seen any more than I had to. I could oversee a show and a magazine that tell people how to live their best lives, but I definitely wasn't setting an example. I was talking the talk, but I wasn't walking the walk. And that was very disappointing to me. Immediately after that conversation with Bob, I called my doctor. "All this medicine is making my life feel like a flat line," I said. So my doctor slowly weaned me off it, except for one aspirin a day. (By the way, never suddenly stop taking prescribed medication, especially heart and blood pressure medication, without checking with your physician.) That choice was the beginning of my road back to health—and back to myself. Regaining my footing hasn't been easy. What is true for every one of you is also true for me: Life's responsibilities don't lessen just because you aren't feeling your best. In my case, the show literally must go on. Many days I didn't feel like going to work, but sick days aren't an option when more than 300 audience members have bought plane tickets and arranged babysitters so they could come to a taping. I think I hit bottom when I wanted to stay home even from a show as fun as the one we did with Tina Turner and Cher in Las Vegas. I was supposed to stand between them onstage, and I felt like a fat cow. I wanted to disappear. "God help me now," I thought. "How can I hide myself?" Later, as I was interviewing both of them about their ages (at the time, Tina was 68 and loved being older; Cher was 61 and didn't), I asked myself, "Who's the real older woman here? I am." They both had more energy than I did. They didn't just sparkle; they glittered. At the close of our 2007–2008 season and the beginning of my summer hiatus, I still had other commitments. I make at least four trips each year to check on my girls in South Africa. No matter what continent they're on, a group of 150 schoolgirls is a lot to manage. By the time I left South Africa, I knew I needed some time to do absolutely nothing. In July I was able to take a break. I went to sleep and woke up whenever I pleased. I sipped soy milk, downed vitamins, snacked on flaxseed, and allowed my body to restore itself. Some days I exercised by walking with my dogs in the hills of Maui; gradually I started working out on the treadmill, at first with a heart monitor to make sure there were no palpitations (it was a black box smaller than a BlackBerry, which I wore on my belt). By the end of the summer, I felt I could do a full hour of cardio without dropping dead. Next I tackled the food addiction, which is ongoing. As far as my daily food choices go, I'm not on any particular program. I've gone back to the commonsense basics we all know: eating less sugar and fewer refined carbs and more fresh, whole foods like fish, spinach, and fruit. But in order not to abuse food, I have to stay fully conscious and aware of every bite, of taking time and chewing slowly. I have to focus on being fully alive, awake, present, and engaged, connected in every area of my life. Right now. What I've learned this year is that my weight issue isn't about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid. It's about my life being out of balance, with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry. Here's another thing this past year has been trying to teach me: I don't have a weight problem—I have a self-care problem that manifests through weight. As my friend Marianne Williamson shared with me, "Your overweight self doesn't stand before you craving food. She's craving love." Falling off the wagon isn't a weight issue; it's a love issue. When I stop and ask myself, "What am I really hungry for?" the answer is always "I'm hungry for balance, I'm hungry to do something other than work." If you look at your overscheduled routine and realize, like I did, that you're just going and going and that your work and obligations have become a substitute for life, then you have no one else to blame. Only you can take the reins back. That's what I'm doing. These days I've put myself back on my own priority list; I try to do at least one hour of exercise five or six days a week. As I work out, eat healthfully, and reorder my life so there's time to replenish my energy, I continue to do the spiritual and emotional work to conquer this battle once and for all. My goal isn't to be thin. My goal is for my body to be the weight it can hold—to be strong and healthy and fit, to be itself. My goal is to learn to embrace this body and to be grateful every day for what it has given me. In 2009, dare I, dare all of us give ourselves all the love and care we need to be healthy, to be well, and to be whole? I know for sure that for each moment of this brand new year, I'm gonna try.

https://www.oprah.com/spirit/oprahs-battle-with-weight-gain-o-january-2009-cover/all

The unhealthy truth behind “wellness” and “clean eating”

I spoke about this purity fetish to Nigella Lawson, whose guilt-free approach to eating helped to reconfigure my attitude to food when I was at my most vulnerable. "I despair of the term 'clean eating,'" she said, "though I actually like the food that comes under that banner. ['Clean eating'] necessarily implies that any other form of eating—and consequently the eater of it—is dirty or impure and thus bad, and it's not simply a way of shaming and persecuting others, but leads to that self-shaming and self-persecution that is forcibly detrimental to true healthy eating."

Our diets become a moral issue when this is the food culture we foster, and gluten is just the start of it. "I wish people would recognize [this] before saying, 'Hey, try this cool elimination diet—you've got nothing to lose,'" lamented Alan Levinovitz when I asked him about this modern cult of elimination dieting. "Nothing to lose? No, there's a lot to lose."

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jm5nvp/ruby-tandoh-eat-clean-wellness

Why we fell for clean eating

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/aug/11/why-we-fell-for-clean-eating

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lesbianrewrites · 7 years

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The Martian Chapter 12

*disclaimer* This is a project done for fun, and none of these characters/works belong to me. I do not claim to own any of the material on this page.

This is a Lesbian edit of The Martian by Andy Weir.

Chapters will be posted every day at 2pm EST.

Google doc version can be found here. The chapter can also be found under the cut. Enjoy!

CHAPTER XII

Watney slept peacefully in her bunk. She shifted slightly as some pleasant dream put a smile on her face. The previous day had been particularly labor-intensive, so she slept deeper and better than she had in a long time. “Good morning crew!” Lewis called out. “It’s a brand new day! Up and at ‘em!” Watney added her voice to a chorus of groans. “Come on,” Lewis prodded, “no bitching. You got 40 minutes more sleep than you would’ve on Earth.” Martinez was first out of his bunk. An Air-Force man, he could match Lewis’s Navy schedule with ease. “Morning, Commander,” he said crisply. Johanssen sat up, but made no further move toward the harsh world outside her blankets. A career software-engineer, mornings were never her forte. Vogel slowly lumbered from his bunk, checking his watch. He wordlessly pulled on his jumpsuit, smoothing out what wrinkles he could. He sighed inwardly at the grimy feeling of another day without a shower. Watney turned away from the noise, hugging a pillow to her head. “Noisy people go away,” she mumbled. “Beck!” Martinez called out, shaking the mission’s doctor. “Rise and shine, bud!” “Yeah, ok,” Beck said blearily. Johanssen fell out of her bunk, then remained on the floor. Pulling the pillow from Watney’s hands, Lewis said “Let’s move, Watney! Uncle Sam paid $100,000 for every second we’ll be here.” “Bad woman take pillow,” Watney groaned, unwilling to open her eyes. “Back on Earth, I’ve tipped 200-pound men out of their bunks. Want to see what I can do in 0.4g?” “No, not really,” Watney said, sitting up. Having rousted the troops, Lewis sat at the comm station to check overnight messages from Houston. Watney shuffled to the ration cupboard and grabbed a breakfast at random. “Hand me an ‘eggs’, will ya,” Martinez said. “You can tell the difference?” Watney said, passing Martinez a pack. “Not really,” Martinez said. “Beck, what’ll you have?” Watney continued. “Don’t care,” Beck said. “Give me whatever.” Watney tossed a pack to him. “Vogel, your usual sausages?” “Ja, please,” Vogel responded. “You know you’re a stereotype, right?” “I am comfortable with that,” Vogel replied, taking the proffered breakfast. “Hey Sunshine,” Watney called to Johanssen. “Eating breakfast today?” “Mnrrn,” Johanssen grunted. “Pretty sure that’s a no,” Watney guessed. The crew ate in silence. Johanssen eventually trudged to the ration cupboard and got a coffee packet. Clumsily adding hot water, she sipped it until wakefulness crept in. “Mission updates from Houston,” Lewis said. “Satellites show a storm coming, but we can do surface ops before it gets here. Vogel, Martinez, you’ll be with me outside. Johanssen, you’re stuck tracking weather reports. Watney, your soil experiments are bumped up to today. Beck, run the samples from yesterday’s EVA through the spectrometer.” “Should you really go out with a storm on the way?” Beck asked. “Houston authorized it,” Lewis said. “Seems needlessly dangerous.” “Coming to Mars was needlessly dangerous,” Lewis said. “What’s your point?” Beck shrugged. “Just be careful.” Three figures looked eastward. Their bulky EVA suits rendered them nearly identical. Only the European Union flag on Vogel’s shoulder distinguished him from Lewis and Martinez, who donned the Stars and Stripes. The darkness to the east undulated and flickered in the rays of the rising sun. “The storm.” Vogel said in his accented English. “It is closer than Houston reported.” “We’ve got time,” Lewis said. “Focus on the task at hand. This EVA’s all about chemical analysis. Vogel, you’re the chemist, so you’re in charge of what we dig up.” “Ja,” Vogel said. “Please dig 30 centimeters and get soil samples. At least 100 grams each. Very important is 30 centimeters down.” “Will do.” Lewis said. “Stay within 100 meters of the Hab,” she added. “Mm,” Vogel said. “Yes, Ma’am,” said Martinez. They split up. Greatly improved since the days of Apollo, Ares EVA suits allowed much more freedom of motion. Digging, bending over, and bagging samples were trivial tasks. After a time, Lewis asked “How many samples do you need?” “Seven each, perhaps?” “That’s fine,” Lewis confirmed. “I’ve got four so far.” “Five here,” Martinez said. “Of course, we can’t expect the Navy to keep up with the Air Force, now can we?” “So that’s how you want to play it?” Lewis said. “Just call ‘em as I see ‘em Commander.” “Johanssen here,” came the sysop’s voice over the radio. “Houston’s upgraded the storm to ‘severe’. It’s going to be here in 15 minutes.” “Back to base,” Lewis said. The Hab shook in the roaring wind as the astronauts huddled in the center. All six of donned their EVA suits in case of a breach. Johanssen watched her laptop while the rest watched her. “Sustained winds over 100kph now,” she said. “Gusting to 125.” “Jesus, we’re gonna end up in Oz,” Watney said. “What’s the abort windspeed?” “Technically 150kph,” Martinez said. “Any more than that and the MAV’s in danger of tipping.” “Any predictions on the storm track?” Lewis asked. “This is the edge of it,” Johanssen said, staring at her screen. “It’s gonna get worse before it gets better.” The Hab canvas rippled under the brutal assault as the internal supports bent and shivered with each gust. The cacophony grew louder by the minute. “All right,” Lewis said. “Prep for abort. We’ll go to the MAV and hope for the best. If the wind gets too high, we’ll launch.” Leaving the Hab in pairs, they grouped up outside airlock 1. The driving wind and sand battered them, but they were able to stay on their feet. “Visibility is almost zero,” Lewis said. “If you get lost, home in on my suit’s telemetry. The wind’s gonna be rougher away from the Hab, so be ready.” Pressing through the gale, they stumbled toward the MAV. “Hey,” Watney panted, “Maybe we could shore up the MAV. Make tipping less likely.” “How?” Lewis huffed. “We could use cables from the solar farm as guy lines.” He wheezed for a few moments, then continued. “The rovers could be anchors. The trick would be getting the line around the-“ Flying wreckage slammed Watney, carrying her off into the wind. “Watney!” Johanssen exclaimed. “What happened?” Lewis said. “Something hit her!” Johanssen reported. “Watney, report,” Lewis said. No reply. “Watney, report,” Lewis repeated. Again, she was met with silence. “She’s offline,” Johanssen reported. “I don’t know where she is!” “Commander,” Beck said, “Before we lost telemetry, her decompression alarm went off!” “Shit!” Lewis exclaimed. “Johanssen where did you last see her?” “She was right in front of me and then she was gone,” she said. “She flew off due west.” “Ok,” Lewis said. “Martinez, get to the MAV and prep for launch. Everyone else, home in on Johanssen.” “Doctor Beck,” Vogel said as he stumbled through the storm, “How long can a person survive decompression?” “Less than a minute,” Beck said, emotion choking his voice. “I can’t see anything,” Johanssen said as the crew crowded around her. “Line up and walk west,” Lewis commanded. “Small steps. She’s probably prone; we don’t want to step over her.” Staying in sight of one another, they trudged through the chaos. Martinez fell in to the MAV airlock and forced it closed against the wind. Once it pressurized he quickly doffed his suit. Climbing the ladder to the crew compartment, he slid in to the pilot’s couch and booted the system. Grabbing the emergency-launch checklist with one hand, he flicked switches rapidly with the other. One by one, the systems reported flight-ready status. As they came online, he noted one in particular. “Commander,” he radioed, “The MAV’s got a 7 degree tilt. It’ll tip at 12.3.” “Copy that,” Lewis said. “Johanssen,” Beck said, looking at his arm computer, “Watney’s bio-monitor sent something before going offline. My computer just says ‘Bad Packet.’” “I have it, too,” Johanssen said. “It didn’t finish transmitting. Some data’s missing and there’s no checksum. Gimme a sec.” “Commander,” Martinez said. “Message from Houston. We’re officially scrubbed. The storm’s definitely gonna be too rough.” “Copy,” Lewis said. “They sent that four and a half minutes ago,” Martinez continued, “while looking at satellite data from nine minutes ago.” “Understood,” Lewis said. “Continue prepping for launch.” “Copy,” Martinez said. “Beck,” Johanssen said. “I have the raw packet. It’s plaintext: BP 0, PR 0, TP 36.2. That’s as far as it got.” “Copy,” Beck said morosely. “Blood pressure 0, pulse rate 0, temperature normal.” The channel fell silent for some time. They continued pressing forward, shuffling through the sandstorm, hoping for a miracle. “Temperature normal?” Lewis said, a hint of hope in her voice. “It takes a while for the-“ Beck stammered. “It takes a while to cool.” “Commander,” Martinez said. “Tilting at 10.5 degrees now, with gusts pushing it to 11.” “Copy,” Lewis said. “Are you at pilot-release?” “Affirmative,” Martinez replied. “I can launch any time.” “If it tips, can you launch before it falls completely over?” “Uh,” Martinez said, not expecting the question. “Yes Ma’am. I’d take manual control and go full throttle. Then I’d nose up and return to pre-programmed ascent.” “Copy that,” Lewis said. “Everyone home in on Martinez’s suit. That’ll get you to the MAV airlock. Get in and prep for launch.” “What about you, Commander?” Beck asked. “I’m searching a little more. Get moving. And Martinez, if you start to tip, launch.” “You really think I’ll leave you behind?” Martinez said. “I just ordered you to,” Lewis replied. “You three, get to the ship.” They reluctantly obeyed Lewis’s order, and made their way toward the MAV. The punishing wind fought them every step of the way. Unable to see the ground, Lewis shuffled forward. Remembering something, she reached to her back and got a pair of rock-drill bits. She had added the 1-meter bits to her equipment that morning, anticipating geological sampling later in the day. Holding one in each hand, she dragged them along the ground as she walked. After 20 meters, she turned around and walked the opposite direction. Walking a straight line proved to be impossible. Not only did she lack visual references, the endless wind pushed her off course. The sheer volume of attacking sand buried her feet with each step. Grunting, she pressed on. Beck, Johanssen, and Vogel squeezed in to the MAV airlock. Designed for two, it could be used by three in emergencies. As it equalized, Lewis’s voice came over the radio. “Johanssen,” she said. “Would the rover IR camera do any good?” “Negative,” Johanssen replied. “IR can’t get through sand any better than visible light.” “What’s she thinking?” Beck asked after removing his helmet. “She’s a geologist. She knows IR can’t get through a sandstorm.” “She is grasping,” Vogel said, opening the inner door. “We must get to the couches. Please hurry.” “I don’t feel good about this,” Beck said. “Neither do I, Doctor,” said Vogel, climbing the ladder. “But the Commander has given us orders. Insubordination will not help.” “Commander,” Martinez radioed, “We’re tilting 11.6 degrees. One good gust and we’re tipping.” “What about the proximity radar?” Lewis said, “Could it detect Watney’s suit?” “No way,” Martinez said. “It’s made to see Hermes in orbit, not the metal in a single space suit.” “Give it a try,” Lewis said. “Commander,” said Beck, putting on a headset as he slid in to his acceleration couch. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but Watn-… Maia’s dead.” “Copy,” Lewis said. “Martinez, try the radar.” “Roger,” Martinez radioed. Bringing the radar online, he waited for it to complete a self check. Glaring at Beck, he said “What’s the matter with you?” “My friend just died,” Beck answered. “And I don’t want my Commander to die too.” Martinez gave him a stern look. Turning his attention back to the radar, he radioed “Negative contact on proximity radar.” “Nothing?” Lewis asked. “It can barely see the Hab,” he replied. “The sandstorm’s fucking things up. Even if it wasn’t, there’s not enough metal in- Shit!” “Strap in!” he yelled to the crew. “We’re tipping!” The MAV began to creaking as it tilted faster and faster. “13 degrees,” Johanssen called out from her couch. Buckling his restraints, Vogel said “We are far past balance. We will not rock back.” “We can’t leave her!” Beck yelled. “Let it tip, we’ll fix it!” “32 metric tons including fuel,” Martinez said, his hands flying over the controls. “If it hits the ground, it’ll do structural damage to the tanks, frame, and probably the second stage engine. We’d never be able to fix it.” “You can’t abandon her!” Beck said. “You can’t.” “I’ve got one trick. If that doesn’t work, I’m following her orders.” Bringing the Orbital Maneuvering System online, he fired a sustained burn from the nosecone array. The small thrusters fought against the lumbering mass of the slowly tilting spacecraft. “You are firing the OMS?” Vogel asked. “I don’t know if it’ll work. We’re not tipping very fast,” Martinez said. “I think it’s slowing down…” “The aerodynamic caps will have automatically ejected.” Vogel said. “It will be a bumpy ascent with three holes in the side of the ship.” “Thanks for the tip,” Martinez said, maintaining the burn and watching the tilt readout. “C’mon…” “Still 13 degrees,” Johanssen reported. “What’s going on up there?” Lewis radioed. “You went quiet. Respond.” “Standby,” Martinez replied. “12.9 degrees,” Johanssen said. “It is working,” Vogel said. “For now,” Martinez said. “I don’t know if maneuvering fuel will last.” “12.8 now.” Johanssen supplied. “OMS fuel at 60 percent,” Beck said. “How much do you need to dock with Hermes?” “10 percent if I don’t fuck anything up,” Martinez said, adjusting the thrust angle. “12.6,” Johanssen said. “We’re tipping back.” “Or the wind died down a little,” Beck postulated. “Fuel at 45 percent.” “There is danger of damage to the vents,” Vogel cautioned. “The OMS was not made for prolonged thrusts,” “I know,” Martinez said. “I can dock without nose vents if I have to.” “Almost there…” Johanssen said. “Ok we’re under 12.3.” “OMS cutoff,” Martinez announced, terminating the burn. “Still tipping back,” Johanssen said. “11.6… 11.5… holding at 11.5” “OMS Fuel at 22 percent,” Beck said. “Yeah, I see that,” Martinez replied. “It’ll be enough.” “Commander,” Beck radioed. “You need to get to the ship now.” “Agreed,” Martinez radioed. “She’s gone, Ma’am. Watney’s gone.” The four crewmates awaited their commander’s response. “Copy,” she finally replied. “On my way.” They lay in silence, strapped to their couches and ready for launch. Beck looked at Watney’s empty couch and saw Vogel doing the same. Martinez ran a self-check on the nosecone OMS thrusters. They were no longer safe for use. He noted the malfunction in his log. The airlock cycled. After removing her suit, Lewis made her way to the flight cabin. She wordlessly strapped into her couch, her face a frozen mask. Only Martinez dared speak. “Still at pilot release,” he said quietly. “Ready for launch.” Lewis closed her eyes and nodded. “I’m sorry, Commander,” Martinez said. “You need to verbally-” “Launch,” she said. “Yes, Ma’am,” he replied, activating the sequence. The retaining clamps ejected from the launch gantry, falling to the ground. Seconds later, preignition pyros fired, igniting the main engines, and the MAV lurched upward. The ship slowly gained speed. As it did, wind-sheer blew it laterally off course. Sensing the problem, the ascent software angled the ship into the wind to counteract it. As fuel was consumed, the ship got lighter, and the acceleration more pronounced. Rising at this exponential rate, the craft quickly reached maximum acceleration. A limit defined not by the ship’s power, but by the delicate human bodies inside. As the ship soared, the open OMS ports took their toll. The crew rocked in their couches as the craft shook violently. Martinez and the ascent software kept it trim, though it was a constant battle. The turbulence tapered off and eventually fell to nothing as the atmosphere became thinner and thinner. Suddenly, all force stopped. The first stage had completed. The crew experienced weightlessness for several seconds, then were pressed back in to their couches as the next stage began. Outside, the now-empty first stage fell away, eventually to crash on some unknown area of the planet below. The second stage pushed the ship ever higher, and in to low orbit. Lasting less time than the massive first stage, and running much smoother, it seemed almost like an afterthought. Abruptly, the engine stopped, and an oppressive calm replaced the previous cacophony. “Main engine shutdown,” Martinez said. “Ascent time: 8 minutes, 14 seconds. On course for Hermes intercept.” Normally, an incident-free launch would be cause for celebration. This one earned only silence broken by Johanssen’s gentle sobbing. Four months later… NASA was loathe to waste research time. Trips to and from Mars were as busy as surface operations. The crew had almost caught up with the backlog of work. The schedule had been made for six, not five. Beck tried not to think about the painful reason he was doing zero-g plant growth experiments. He noted the size and shape of the fern leaves, took photos, and made notes. Having completed his science schedule for the day, he checked his watch. Perfect timing. The data dump would be completing soon. He floated past the reactor to the Semicone-A ladder. Traveling feet-first along the ladder, he soon had to grip it in earnest as the centripetal force of the rotating ship took hold. By the time he reached Semicone-A he was at 0.4g. No mere luxury, the artificial gravity kept them fit. Without it, they would have spent their first week on Mars barely able to walk. Exercise regimens could keep the heart and bones healthy, but none had been devised that would give them full function from Sol 1. Because the ship was already designed for it, they used the system on the return trip as well. Johanssen sat at her station. Lewis sat in the adjacent seat while Vogel and Martinez hovered nearby. The data dump carried emails and videos from home. It was the high point of the day. “Is it here yet?” Back asked as he entered the bridge. “Almost,” Johanssen said. “98%.” “You’re looking cheerful, Martinez,” Beck said. “My son turned three yesterday,” He beamed. “Should be some pics of the party. How about you?” “Nothing special,” Beck said. “Peer-reviews of a paper I wrote a few years back.” “Complete,” Johanssen said. “All the personal emails are dispatched to your laptops. Also there’s a telemetry update for Vogel and a system update for me. Huh… there’s a voice message addressed to the whole crew.” She looked over her shoulder to Lewis. Lewis shrugged. “Play it.” Johanssen opened the message, then sat back. “Hermes, this is Mitch Henderson,” the message began. “Henderson?” Martinez said, puzzled. “Talking directly to us without CAPCOM?” Lewis held her hand up to signal for silence. “I have some news,” Mitch’s voice continued, “There’s no subtle way to put this: Maia Watney’s still alive.” Johanssen gasped. “Wha-“ Beck stammered. Vogel stood agape as a shocked expression swept across his face. Martinez looked to Lewis. She leaned forward and pinched her chin. “I know that’s a surprise,” Mitch continued. “And I know you’ll have a lot of questions. We’re going to answer those questions. But for now I’ll just give you the basics. “She’s alive and healthy. We found out two months ago and decided not to tell you; we even censored personal messages. I was strongly against all that. We’re telling you now because we finally have communication with her and a viable rescue plan. It boils down to Ares 4 picking her up with a modified MDV. “We’ll get you a full write-up of what happened, but it’s definitely not your fault. Maia stresses that every time it comes up. It was just bad luck. “Take some time to absorb this. Your science schedules are cleared for tomorrow. Send all the questions you want and we’ll answer them. Henderson out.” The message’s end brought stunned silence to the bridge. “She…She’s alive?” Martinez said, then smiled. Vogel nodded excitedly. “She lives.” Johanssen stared at her screen in wide-eyed disbelief. “Holy shit,” Beck laughed. “Holy shit! Commander! She’s alive!” “I left her behind,” Lewis said quietly. The celebrations ceased immediately as the crew saw their commander’s inconsolable expression. “But,” Beck began, “We all left togeth-“ “You followed orders,” Lewis interrupted. “I left her behind. In a barren, unreachable, godforsaken wasteland.” Beck looked to Martinez pleadingly. Martinez opened his mouth, but could find no words to say. Lewis trudged off the bridge.

#the martian #the martian andy weir #lgbt #lesbian rewrites #lesbiansafe

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imsohealthy1 · 4 years

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TWV Podcast Episode 411: Do we still follow the Paleo diet?

Welcome to episode 411 of The Whole View. On this week’s episode, Stacy and Sarah answer a listener’s question on how they now feel about the Paleo label. Do they still identify with the Paleo approach? What adjustments have they made to their principles after following the Paleo diet for almost a decade? All of this and more in episode 411!

If you enjoy the show, please review it on iTunes!

The Whole View, Episode 411: Do we still follow the Paleo diet?

Welcome back to the Whole View, episode 4-1-1. (0:27)

Does 411 still exist as a resource you can call?

This week, we have a really amazing question from Holly.

The topic is one that has been bouncing around in Sarah’s head for a while.

When she talks to someone about how she eats, it can be tricky to navigate what vocabulary to use.

So now seems like a really good time to dig into this, especially given the recent podcast name change.

Listener Question

Holly writes, “Hey ladies, I’m a long time listener of the podcast and I hope by telling you both how awesome you are that you will answer my question. (2:02)

Just kidding! But I know it can’t hurt and it’s true!

Really, thank you both for all the work you do to keep us in the know.

I have been finding the covid-19 shows so helpful and I feel like I get to rant with you both.

On to my question, Sarah I noticed your new book has non-Paleo and non-AIP foods in it and I know the podcast name has changed, so… do you both even still follow a Paleo diet?

I would love to know what your diets look like now.

Also, what do you both recommend now for all of us looking for general health guidelines, if Paleo is no longer the ‘thing’?

Thanks again for all you do!

P.S. Sorry Sarah if you cover this in the book, I admittedly have just done a quick scan, and I promise to read it soon.

Sarah’s New eBook

Sarah completely forgot to tell our podcast listeners that she just launched her Gut Microbiome eBook. (3:01)

The book that Holly is referring to is Sarah’s new Gut Health Guidebook.

Sarah has been working on a Gut Microbiome book for about six years now.

She started this book before writing Healing Kitchen.

Healing Kitchen was a book writing tangent, and then Paleo Principles was a second book writing tangent.

Since Paleo Principles came out, this book has been Sarah’s singular focus.

She was wrapping it up earlier this year and then when covid hit, it caused a delay in the publication process.

Sarah still doesn’t know when it will come out, but her guess is that at this point it will be sometime in 2021.

As soon as she found out that this was not going to be the late 2020 book she was pushing for, Sarah took the cohesive storyline of diet and lifestyle and package that up into an eBook.

The way that the Gut Microbiome book was coming together made it clear that it couldn’t be one book the way Paleo Principles is.

Sarah is taking the companion cookbook and is also going to create an eBook out of that content.

That will launch late this summer.

So the Gut Health Guidebook is now live and you can package it together with a preorder of the cookbook.

Sarah is offering a special discount for anybody who wants to do that.

To find the offer, see here.

From Stacy’s Point of View

Stacy and crew just got back from being in the wilderness for a week. (6:24)

She won’t call it camping because it is more glamping.

They prepped a lot of food before they left and cooked over the fire each night.

It is interesting for Stacy to think about this question in the context of having just been on that trip.

The different kinds of foods that they took this trip versus previous glamping trips

Things were very similar, with some exceptions.

As we talk about what they are each now doing and why, those points will weave in.

Years ago they did not take gluten-free graham crackers for example.

Stacy made Paleo chocolate chip cookies and then they made marshmallows and used those homemade creations for s’ mores.

She also wants to note for perspective that it has been over ten years since both Stacy and Sarah started their journey into what she would call a health awakening.

They started with this idea of Paleo, but that health awakening really started when Cole was born and Stacy was breastfeeding for the first time.

This is when Stacy realized that what she was eating was going directly into him.

That transitioned over many years until the birth of Wesley, and that was the point in which Stacy realized that her body was responding to certain foods in a way that was hurting her children when nursing.

Stacy has learned from her body what she tolerates vs. thrives on.

It is also interesting in this world of covid, how we need our bodies to be thriving, and to be as strong as possible.

Where you are is where you are, and there is no shame in where you have been or where you are going.

When we talk about diet we talk about how you choose to eat your food.

We are not talking about a fad diet, a way that you eat for short-term results.

This has always been a key concept on this show.

It has always been about a lifestyle.

If you focus on what feels best for you and listen to your body, you can find a way to live a balance in your life to not think about food as something as anything other than fuel.

Healthy Living

Stacy wants to refer everyone back to episode 358 on Intuitive Eating. (11:16)

This show is very representative of our thoughts on anti-diet and intuitive eating.

On this episode, we share how you can incorporate this into a way of healthy living.

There is a response that your body has to certain foods, and to ignore that is not beneficial to your long-term health.

But how can you incorporate those foods without it being a diet that you punish yourself for?

This turns food into a reward, which isn’t good either.

If you find yourself in a place where food has that kind of control or thought pattern, please go back and listen to that episode.

It will really tell the full picture of what we are doing to fuel and nourish ourselves.

We try to optimize thriving, while still representing the emotional importance of some of that stuff.

From Sarah’s Point of View

Sarah loves how Stacy framed the way that her healthy awakening journey began because Sarah’s started with Adele. (12:33)

In her first pregnancy, she has gestational diabetes and she managed her blood sugar really well with careful measuring.

When Adele was one she realized that she was getting that same sickish feeling every time she ate.

Sarah still had her blood sugar testing supplies and one day after lunch decided to test her levels.

Her levels were 200, which is the cusp between pre-diabetes and type-2 diabetes.

She does not recommend this at all, but Sarah never told her doctor.

Sarah felt so much guilt around this reality as she was intimately aware of the consequences of diabetes.

So that day was the day that she changed her diet, and she went to the thing she knew.

Sarah went low-carb, and in many ways, the last ten years has been a road of recovering from that stretch of low-carb.

She was able to lose weight and normalize her blood sugar levels and blood pressure.

She had markers showing her that she was healthy, but her autoimmune diseases were getting worse.

It was a tradeoff.

When Sarah’s youngest daughter was closing in on two, it was actually the autoimmune flairs that brought her to Paleo.

Sarah’s immediate was response was that Paleo was crazy, but as she dug into it the science made sense.

Once Sarah got into it, she went cold turkey with it on August 31, 2011, which helped a lot of things.

However, it didn’t help everything so for her New Year’s resolution that year she started the autoimmune protocol.

At that time AIP was very poorly defined.

So Sarah defined and established what AIP was and is now, at the same time she was doing it.

Sarah was very influenced by Dr. Terry Wahls TEDx presentation.

More on Stacy’s Journey

From Stacy’s perspective and awakening in all of this is still very health-focused. (32:19)

Stacy wants health, wellness, and longevity for her family.

Her original goal with starting Paleo was that she had such low energy and wanting to play with her kids.

Thinking about that original goal and where she is at today, Stacy feels that food enabled her to have the energy she needed to get more active.

She is worlds apart from where she was in terms of her energy levels and wellness in general.

Stacy did put on weight as she came out of that low-carb, Paleo period.

That was her starved, it was not a real weight.

Stacy ended up rebounding and reaching a really good place until she injured her back, which then she couldn’t move for a year.

Stacy put on weight from that period of time, but she has maintained a significant amount of that weight that she originally lost.

However, Stacy really doesn’t weigh herself due to her history with how she equates her worth to that number on the scale.

Body positivity and self-love have become very important to Stacy as she optimizes her health.

Stacy looks at food and asks herself, “is what I am consuming going to give me wellness and longevity?”

And sometimes that is the motivating factor she needs to not get ice cream or whatever it is.

This comes from a much different place, one without deprivation and punishment and those kinds of things that Stacy did for so long.

And it is not linear.

For Stacy, she didn’t flip a switch and was fixed.

These are habits that she has to consistently work on and quarantine has not been easy.

Nutrivore

This is where Stacy has really changed her mindset, as she first and foremost thinks of herself as a nutrivore, someone who prioritizes nutrient density. (35:49)

Stacy recognizes that they can’t have a diet of only white rice, but if they are sick and that is the only thing they are able to keep down, how can they optimize it?

They can put in grass-fed ghee, cook the rice in bone broth, put kelp on top, and then for their next meal find something else like sweet potatoes to fill the carb cravings.

Stacy does focus on adding nutrient density and vegetables to what she describes as a gluten-free, corn-free, legume-free, and night-shade free diet.

She would love to be able to eat those foods, but they don’t agree with her body.

Stacy is not dairy-free in the same way that Sarah is.

She can tolerate more dairy, but not every day.

The dairy that Stacy tolerates is fat only forms.

Stacy feels that there is a big difference in the thought process from where they were, to where they are now.

Sarah’s Implementation of a Nutrivore Diet

Sarah has something very similar. (38:16)

Prior to covid, when Sarah ate in a restaurant she would say she is gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free.

These are things she knows she can’t do.

The term that Sarah most resonates with now is nutrivore.

This best describes Sarah’s approach because she looks at food as providing her body with the resources it needs to do all the things it wants to do.

And those resources are nutrients.

By adopting the term nutrivore, instead of saying “I eat these foods and not these foods”, I’m saying that the primary goal of my diet as a whole is to supply my body with all the essential and non-essential nutrients it needs to thrive from my food.

That is the goal.

You can basically fit junky calories into your diet if the bulk of your diet is made up of super nutrient-dense foods.

Because those junky calories at that point are not taking away from meeting that goal of getting all of the nutrients that your body needs.

This helps us get away from food labels of good vs. bad, and gets into what is the quality of my diet?

Did I meet my nutritional needs today?

And did I meet those needs today with some energy deficit?

Sarah likes that this moves us away from stigmatizing foods.

However, it still recognizes foods that aren’t good for anybody.

Sarah doesn’t believe that everyone needs to be strictly gluten-free.

As we get away from demonizing foods, we can get back to the thing that is most important.

Meeting the body’s nutritional needs is a top priority.

From there you can layer eliminations on top of that, or add additional nutritional focus on top of that to meet specific health challenges and goals.

For example, Sarah thinks of AIP as a sub diet of a nutrivore approach.

There is now emerging science showing that the gut microbiome really needs a minimal amount of carbohydrate.

This amount is probably at least 150 grams a day, if not 200 grams a day.

How to Describe It

If Sarah were to describe her diet to someone who was serving her food, she would describe it as gluten-free, dairy-free, and soy-free. (43:44)

If she was talking to her neighbor who wanted to make some dietary changes she would probably use the word nutrivore.

Sarah would then talk about the importance of eating a lot of vegetables, higher-quality meat, more seafood, eating fruit, eating a serving of mushrooms a day, and a palm-full of nuts a day.

She would also talk about snout-to-tail eating.

Also why soaking legumes is still a best practice.

The focus would be on eating more nutrient-dense foods and allowing them to displace the foods that aren’t doing us any favors.

Rather than eliminating foods that are put into this ‘no’ category.

Stacy thinks this perspective is helpful.

It is helpful to be reminded of what our ultimate goal is.

We are then able to ask, ok, how do we get there in a sustainable way.

If you are overly restrictive and you can’t stick with that, it isn’t good either.

How can you optimize without boomeranging to the other side?

Customization

Stacy wants to point out a few more things that are unique to her since she doesn’t have a gallbladder. (46:05)

She has to pay particular attention to fats.

Matt and Stacy have added more olive oil and avocado oil, and use less lard.

They also eat gluten-free treats.

Stacy doesn’t do oats, and they don’t do legumes in their family.

They do have brown rice pasta about once a week.

If Stacy does have a meal of rice or pasta, she does try to ensure that she has a veggie-rich meal on that day to make up for the overall vegetables and nutrients that she is trying to achieve every day.

She also tries to move her body.

It is about how she feels, and she has to listen to her body.

Sarah doesn’t feel bad about cooking brown rice pasta at all.

Especially after going through the gut microbiome researching and learning about how good rice is for the gut microbiome.

It is not a base food because it doesn’t have a ton of nutrition, but in the context of a meal that incorporates other nutrient-dense options, it becomes a good contribution.

Stacy mentioned this blog post on casserole prep.

She also takes supplements of daily collagen but doesn’t drink broth as often as she use to.

Stacy also takes liver pills, vitamin D, and magnesium.

She is also adding mushrooms with more intention these days.

Stir-fries are a favorite these days, as Stacy finds it easy to add nutrients to these dishes.

Stacy has added things in, but it hasn’t been as thoughtful as Sarah’s process.

However, she is very aware of what they are adding and what they are or aren’t doing.

Stacy strives to be mindful of balance because social and emotional wellbeing in terms of sustainability and disordered eating has been so impactful to Stacy.

She has had to really learn to listen to her body and really find a balance on how she feels in terms of digestion and energy, more than anything else for it to work long-term.

It is important to Stacy to not feel bad or to go off the rails.

This can be hard if you come from a place of dysmorphia or eating disorders or any kind of stuff like that.

For Stacy, she has worked on that stuff and gone to therapy and become self-aware.

If you are struggling with this stuff, you can’t just solve it in a vacuum.

When there is emotions around your food, you do have to address the emotion or else you will never solve the problem.

Closing Thoughts

One of the things that have allowed Sarah to embrace the term nutrivore is to develop a healthier relationship with food. (1:01:03)

Just like when we first adopted Paleo, nine to ten years ago, that was always going to be a lifestyle.

It has evolved, and her diet has expanded.

While Sarah thinks of it as nutrivore, you could also call it AIP maintenance phase, or Paleo plus, or 80/20.

There are other labels that we can use, but it is still a lifestyle.

It is about lifelong health and hopefully improving her longevity.

This still includes getting enough sleep, managing stress, living an active lifestyle, and nature time.

These are all still pieces of the health puzzle for Sarah.

But what she has been able to do by shedding the dogmatic rules that have been associated with the Paleo diet for so long is to develop a healthier relationship with food.

One of the side effects this has had is that portion control is much easier, which has always been a real struggle for Sarah.

This healthier relationship with food has allowed Sarah to regular her cravings and appetite.

Getting beyond Paleo has allowed Sarah to fix some of the food relationship problems that she was still having on the Paleo diet.

Stacy and Sarah have been talking about doing some changes on the show for a long time, and you are seeing some of them with the name change of the show.

They are planning to let go of their G-rating soon so that they can relax a bit on things.

Stacy and Sarah’s true unfiltered thoughts on things will be coming through in the next few weeks.

That is it for this week’s episode.

Thank you for listening, and we will be back next week! (1:07:20)

The post TWV Podcast Episode 411: Do we still follow the Paleo diet? appeared first on The Paleo Mom.

7 Day Detox Plan

#7 Day Detox Plan

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topicprinter · 5 years

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Hi r/EntrepreneurI have poted here a few times about my startup VEED and I am happy to now share our most important milestone yet! Before I start, i just want to say this was originally posted on our blog titled "The journey to ramen profitability", for images of the MVP, Revenue. screenshots.. its bet read there.Anyway, In just 4 months and 14 days since we have started charging for our product and about 13 months since our online video editor went live, we have hit an important milestone, we have hit ramen profitability.As of mid-October 2019 we are at $5000 in monthly recurring revenue, VEED now pays for two full-time founders (myself and Tim) and two part-time developers (Mate and Veljko... Love you guys)Ramen Profitable"Ramen profitable means a startup makes just enough to pay the founders' living expenses" - Bad Man PGWe have hustled pretty f****** hard to get here and learnt a LOT along the way. There were a couple of moments where we thought it was all over, like the time we ran out of money and had to get contract work, or the time when we were kicked out of our office.Oh and time our first two developers quit working for us immediately on the same day. But through all these drastic highs and lows, we have continued to move forward and grow.Ramen profitability is a huge milestone, but also marks the start of the next big phase of our startup journey as we are moving towards finding product-market fit and starting to scale our product to thousands of monthly paid users.In this post I am going to go through and describe our journey as to how we got to where we are right now and document the main milestones and lessons we have learnt along the way. As bliss as our progress might have seemed from the outside, it has been a real grind with many ups, downs, failures and fuckups. So here goes...The Backstory - $0 MRRTo start, I think its important to set the scene. In 2014 online video was hailed as the new BIG thing, everyone was banging on about it. We both could see a cultural shift accelerating. We were watching more YouTube than TV, we were flicking through Instagram more than magazines and we were not alone, all our friends were doing that too. Quality user generated content was winning in a big way.The fact that you can shoot high quality videos with a smartphone and distribute content globally free of charge was changing how we were consuming media and in its wake creating a new generation of celebrities, influencers and publishers. In turn inspiring even more to create. Brands started to take note and the old model of creating two blockbuster TV commercials a year to connect with your audience started to become less relevant.At this point, I realised that most video editing software was designed for making films and TV shows, not short snappy social media content. After searching, I found no editor that was powerful, yet simple enough, that would allow you to construct a narrative or tell a story. We thought there is definitely a gap in the market, but we were not sure what it was just yet.The type of videos I was making at the timeWe thought we were a great team to solve this problem. I was a recent grad from Central Saint Martins, I had directed music videos for Sony music, had experience working in advertising and branding agencies and a bunch of startups too.Tim worked on a research project at King's College London and built an automated video editing platform that used AI and Natural Language Processing to summarise news articles and turn them into short, bite-sized informational videos (the project was called VEED)Tim and I did some research and really liked how Giphy’s gif maker worked and thought it would be super cool to make something similar for video editing. I started designing, Tim started coding.When we messed - $0 MRRAfter Tim graduated from King's College London, we then applied to his university accelerator and got a place. We had the designs, an MVP and were ready to hit the ground running. Tim still had the veed.io domain name, and thought it sounded like video so we used it.We had limited runway, just enough to cover 3 month of the 12 month program. So we thought that we could win some cash by entering pitch competitions. So we changed our idea from simple online video editor, to automated video editing….We got really good at winning pitch competitions, like REALLY GOOD. In fact, we won cash at pretty much every competition we entered. We got flown to Dubai to present it at a conference, a VC firm gave us free desk space because they thought we were onto something and we netted tens of thousands of pounds in prize money... crazy right?During those 6 months we won thousands in grant funding, we were balling and everything was going amazing, so with the money we hired two talented students to help us build this highly anticipated award winning product. From the outside, it might have looked pretty rosey. This is how you run a startup right?The product seemed like a GREAT idea. The BIG problem was all of the people who said we were doing so well were and awarded us prize money where not our target customers. After that we have built the products MVP, we have spent months trying to sell it with no interest, we got close a few times, but it was clearly not going to work.So we had a product no one wanted and with about 6 weeks runway left. We got the team to rip everything apart and pivot back to our original idea, the product we had wanted to build from the start - a simple online video editor.It was horrible, the worst summer ever Tim and I have ever had, we were broke, our startup was not working. To make matters even worse in those last 6 weeks, both of the students we hired had quit and walked out on the same day, a week later the VC firm that gave us free desk-space kicked us out too. It must have been pretty obvious we were crashing hard.So Tim got a contract Job and sent me half his wages every week so I could keep running the company. Tim would meet me in the office at 6am every morning and then headed off to his contact job for 9am and I would continue hacking and marketing till later in the evening. Fortunately, we managed to launch and get some early users with our MVP.A few weeks later, while eating a hot dog on London Southbank, I got a cold call from a recruiter offering me a contact job too. We both were tired, drained, and needed a break and some cash too, so I took it.This is the part where the easy thing would be to give up. We could have easily just fallen back to getting paid well through contracting. But we did not want to give up that easy, we understood the mistakes me made and knew how we could fix them.Lesson learnt:Winning awards is not the same as running a companyBuild stuff your users wantValidate with your users before buildingThe co-founder relationship needs to be strongKnow when to pivotBETA - $0 MRRTim and I were working weekday mornings, evenings and weekends and after a few months it was paying off, we were talking to users and our startup was growing. As we were getting paid pretty well while contracting, we thought it would be a good idea to hire two developers to keep VEED moving at a good pace.We searched high and low and where SUPER lucky to eventually find Veljko and Mate. We have learnt a lot from our previous failed hires and vowed to never make the same mistakes again.Traffic was increasing every week and just 4 month after everything came crashing down, we had built VEED to 20K monthly active users. As my contract job came to an end I moved back onto VEED full time with Veljko and Mate. We were building fast, iterating on product and growing at a good speed and Tim was working all hours too and kept company’s runway topped up.Lesson learnt:It is possible to have two jobsThe only time a startup fails, is when your let it failTalk to your users and iterate fastFirst Paid Users - $200 MRRI received an email that recommended we apply to join the next cohort of well known startup accelerator.Tim and I thought that there is no harm in filling out the application, so on a train ride home to see my mum, a few days before the deadline, I filled out the application.To our surprise a few weeks later we had a phone interview, that went well. Just 4 weeks later, we were in Mountain View California interviewing for a place on the program.Essentially, we got rejected, and from our rejection email feedback, we believed we got rejected for not having any revenue. So we added a $5 pay wall that weekend and converted our first 20 paid users. We then emailed them and asked them to reconsider.They said no..Unfortunately, as this weekend was so mad, we did not have time to appreciate the huge milestone that we just overcome. We had always dreamed of making our first monthly revenue online and now we had it. What was even more shocking is that we found 20 users that weekend to pay for our buggy video editing app.Lesson learnt:You need to charge your users early to learn if this is a product they will pay for.By charging users, you will understand where the value is for them.Rejection is not a bad thing.It is not always easy to not see the value in something you have built.Summer 2019 - $3000 MRRWe returned back on London in mid June, doubled our prices to $10 and got our heads down talking to our paid users. We quickly worked out that for our paid users adding subtitles to videos and also automatic subtitle transcription were by far the most popular features. With this knowledge, we worked hard on making those features amazing.Since we started making money, we began getting a lot of inbound investor interest. Additionally investors we previously spoke with also started to get super keen. Ultimately we decided to not take any investment, we did not want any distractions and though the lack of runway would make us focus hard to getting our product to profitability.In July we have built a load of new features that our users did not want, like video effects and video templates.Which was stupid.But we wanted them ourselves, so we have built them anyway. We also changed a lot of our development processes to enable us to move much faster and speed up our lead times to deliver features and bug fixes. All this allowed us to hit 2oo paid users.In August, we had realised that at our current growth rate we would run out of money in the next 3 months yet again. So we doubled our prices again to $20 and something CRAZY happened.Users continued to pay for our appChurn fell by 40%New users drop by only 10%Following this, we had our best month yet and best of all, we were projected to reach ramen profitability on the exact same week our personal funds would run out.As counterproductive as putting prices up feels, charging $20 for VEED brought in a different and more serious type of user, they need the product and they are happy to pay for it and have different needs to the $5 users we originally had. Things started looking up for the first time in ages.Finally overtime, our product matured and stability got better, we believe this is also a leading factor in how we reduced revenue churn to from an embarrassing 40% to less than 10% in just a few months.Lesson learnt:Put your prices up, again and again.Don't build features for the sake of it, it is a waste of time.Try to avoid unnecessary distractions like investors.October 2019 - $5000 MRROctober 17th, 2:02pm - $5K MRR, after everything we have been through to date it does not feel real. Altho we have pretty much made every mistake in the book many times over and I believe we will continue to keep messing up too, but our trajectory suggests we are not going to have to go back to contracting now. We are really excited to continue building our product and now can also see a path to really accelerate growth.Lesson learnt:Getting your first company off the ground takes longer than you think.A profitable companies don't rely on anyone else.How do we run VEED on $5K Mo?Tim and I pay ourselves about $1666 each and we pay Mate and Viljko the same. In not sure how everyone else spends their money, but this is a breakdown of how I spend my money.$600 Rent$200 Bills$200 Social Life$100 Eating out$100 Travel$100 Maybe a new pair of trainers or something..It's not a lot, I cut corners where I can; I pack lunch, ride my bike to work (much nicer than the tube), make the most of free drinks at events before going out ;) But we are all so happy to be working on a product we love, it really does not matter. We are filled with excitement and push hard for growth.We have free cloud services for the next 8 months, but will easily cover this by the end of next month too. All other bills come out of our personal accounts right now.Final ThoughtsWe really hope this blog post was valuable. We would love for other early-stage founders to read and share this so others do not make the same mistakes we did. Join our mailing list if you would like to get update from us as we build our VEED and as always, feel free to drop us an email if you have any questions.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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jesseneufeld · 5 years

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Dear Mark: Iron Followup

Last week’s post on iron levels got a big response and garnered a ton of questions from you guys. Today, I’m going to clarify a few things and answer as many questions as I can. First, do iron and ferritin levels mean different things for men and women? If so, how do those differences manifest? What about premenopausal women vs postmenopausal women? Second, what do we make of the fact that ferritin is also increased in times of inflammation? Is there a way to distinguish between elevated ferritin caused by inflammation and elevated ferritin caused by high iron? Third, is desiccated liver a good option for liver haters? And finally, I share some exciting plague news.

Let’s go:

Emma wrote:

I’d love to see more info on iron levels as they relate to men and women differently. I recently had an iron infusion for low ferretin, not thinking much would change I actually experienced so many positive effects I didn’t even know were coming my way. I’m less cold, no more afternoon fatigue, less hair falling out, no more random palpitations, improved restless leg syndrome and the number one big change is it improved anxiety levels – in fact my anxiety is now gone. The last two are due to a connection between iron and dopamine. I learnt that children with mental health issues are often treated for low ferretin where possible, elevating levels to around 100 showing positive results (would love to see literature on this), for me my ferretin went from 20 to 130 and its changed my life, at 31 I haven’t felt this good in years. Yay iron!

That’s awesome to hear. Yes, it’s important to stress the very basic essentiality of iron. Without it, we truly cannot produce energy. And since energy is the currency for everything that happens in the body, an iron deficiency makes everything start to fall apart.

As for gender and iron, there’s a lot to discuss.

A good portion of women with hemochromatosis never actually express it phenotypically, meaning their lab tests don’t show evidence of dysregulated iron metabolism or storage. According to one study of hemochromatosis homozygotes (people who inherited the mutation from both of their parents), being a woman makes it 16x more likely that your hereditary hemochromatosis won’t actually present as iron overload.

Another study found that among mostly-age-matched men (42 years) and women (39 years) with hemochromatosis, 78% of the men had iron overload while just 36% of the women had it. Iron overload was defined as transferrin saturation over 52% combined with ferritin levels of 300 ng/mL for men and 200 ng/mL for women.

High iron levels are more of an issue for postmenopausal women than premenopausal women. The latter group regularly sheds blood through menstruation, and if anything, they’re at a higher risk of low iron. Plus, estrogen is a key regulator of iron metabolism. As menopause sets in and estrogen diminishes, that regulation suffers.

For instance:

In postmenopausal Korean women, high ferritin levels predict metabolic syndrome and subclinical atherosclerosis.

High ferritin predicts metabolic syndrome in postmenopausal but not premenopausal women.

In premenopausal Korean women, higher ferritin levels predict better bone mineral density; menopause nullifies this relationship.

Remember that ferritin is actually a measurable protein bound to iron, so testing a ferritin level is technically an indirect way to measure iron. Why is this important? Another characteristic of ferritin (the protein) is that it is an ACUTE PHASE REACTANT. This means that ferritin levels can fluctuate with illnesses and other inflammatory states in the body that drive up a ferritin value that is not related to an actual iron level fluctuation. Don’t get ferritin checked when you are sick with a cold or other illness.

This is a great point.

Ferritin is marker of long term iron storage, but it’s also an acute phase reactant that up regulates in response to inflammation or oxidative stress.

If you want to be really careful, you should get a HS-CRP test—that measures your overall inflammatory status. If CRP is elevated, ferritin can be elevated without saying anything about your iron status.

Come to think of it, if elevated ferritin can be a marker of inflammation and oxidative stress, the inflammation could be responsible for some of the negative health effects linked to high ferritin. Or, if having too much iron in the body can increase oxidative damage, it may be that high iron levels are increasing inflammation which in turn increases ferritin even further. Biology gets messy. Lots of feedback loops. However, the fact that many studies cited in the previous iron post that use blood donation to treat high ferritin have positive results indicates that for most people, ferritin can be, in most situations, an accurate estimation of your iron status.

To make sure it’s an iron problem, get a transferrin saturation test as well. That indicates the amount of iron you’re absorbing, with below 20% being low and over 45% being high. People with high ferritin and high transferrin saturation do have high iron levels. People whose ferritin is artificially enhanced by inflammation will have normal transferrin saturation levels.

I have one last question on this. You say “Don’t stop eating liver every week.” If you can’t stand the taste of liver, what do you think about taking liver capsules made from grass-fed New Zealand beef every day instead?

That’s a great option. Go for it.

People should generally aim for 4-8 ounces of fresh liver a week. Note the amount of desiccated liver in your capsules and multiply by 3 to get the fresh liver equivalent, then take enough each day (or all at once) to hit 4-8 ounces over the week. I hear good things about this one.

Mark, Thank you for your article on HH. I carry the gene but have been managing my iron levels through phlebotomies. I am full Keto, meat and all and have found my iron levels have not been effected by going Keto. Early detection is the key and ongoing monitoring. Bring on the plague!!!

You joke about that now, but there’s a startup that’s breeding heritage rat fleas that produce a mild strain of the plague that evades the attention of the immune system and proliferates throughout the body to keep iron levels in check without killing you. I’m an early investor, have a couple swarms installed in my condo, and (knock on wood) so far have avoided anything worse than a sore throat and maybe a mild open sore or two. There’s actually a big rift forming between the techs who want to keep the fleas heritage and those who want to go ahead with CRISPR and engineer them. One variant has had a deer tick gene inserted that adds an anesthetic compound to the flea’s saliva. That way you can have a personal swarm on you and never feel any bites or itches.

I’m not sure about CRISPR just yet, but I gotta say it’s pretty nice to be covered in fleas and not feel the bites. Time will tell.

Ok, I’m joking.

That’s it for today, folks. I hope I’ve answered some of your concerns, and if not, let me know down below. Thanks for reading!

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References:

Lainé F, Jouannolle AM, Morcet J, et al. Phenotypic expression in detected C282Y homozygous women depends on body mass index. J Hepatol. 2005;43(6):1055-9.

Qian Y, Yin C, Chen Y, et al. Estrogen contributes to regulating iron metabolism through governing ferroportin signaling via an estrogen response element. Cell Signal. 2015;27(5):934-42.

Seo SK, Yun BH, Chon SJ, et al. Association of serum ferritin levels with metabolic syndrome and subclinical coronary atherosclerosis in postmenopausal Korean women. Clin Chim Acta. 2015;438:62-6.

Cho GJ, Shin JH, Yi KW, et al. Serum ferritin levels are associated with metabolic syndrome in postmenopausal women but not in premenopausal women. Menopause. 2011;18(10):1120-4.

Chon SJ, Choi YR, Roh YH, et al. Association between levels of serum ferritin and bone mineral density in Korean premenopausal and postmenopausal women: KNHANES 2008-2010. PLoS ONE. 2014;9(12):e114972.

The post Dear Mark: Iron Followup appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Dear Mark: Iron Followup published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/

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cynthiamwashington · 5 years

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Dear Mark: Iron Followup

Let’s go:

Emma wrote:

As for gender and iron, there’s a lot to discuss.

For instance:

In postmenopausal Korean women, high ferritin levels predict metabolic syndrome and subclinical atherosclerosis.

High ferritin predicts metabolic syndrome in postmenopausal but not premenopausal women.

In premenopausal Korean women, higher ferritin levels predict better bone mineral density; menopause nullifies this relationship.

This is a great point.

Ferritin is marker of long term iron storage, but it’s also an acute phase reactant that up regulates in response to inflammation or oxidative stress.

That’s a great option. Go for it.

I’m not sure about CRISPR just yet, but I gotta say it’s pretty nice to be covered in fleas and not feel the bites. Time will tell.

Ok, I’m joking.

That’s it for today, folks. I hope I’ve answered some of your concerns, and if not, let me know down below. Thanks for reading!

Want to make fat loss easier? Try the Definitive Guide for Troubleshooting Weight Loss for free here.

window.onload=function(){ga('send', { hitType: 'event', eventCategory: 'Ad Impression', eventAction: '65477' });}

References:

Lainé F, Jouannolle AM, Morcet J, et al. Phenotypic expression in detected C282Y homozygous women depends on body mass index. J Hepatol. 2005;43(6):1055-9.

Qian Y, Yin C, Chen Y, et al. Estrogen contributes to regulating iron metabolism through governing ferroportin signaling via an estrogen response element. Cell Signal. 2015;27(5):934-42.

Seo SK, Yun BH, Chon SJ, et al. Association of serum ferritin levels with metabolic syndrome and subclinical coronary atherosclerosis in postmenopausal Korean women. Clin Chim Acta. 2015;438:62-6.

Cho GJ, Shin JH, Yi KW, et al. Serum ferritin levels are associated with metabolic syndrome in postmenopausal women but not in premenopausal women. Menopause. 2011;18(10):1120-4.

The post Dear Mark: Iron Followup appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Article source here:Marks’s Daily Apple

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toomanysinks · 5 years

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How to get your money’s worth from your startup lawyer

You will never know as much as your lawyers do about the legal services they provide to you. It is a classic asymmetry of information, where the party that knows less gets the worse deal. In this case, that is you, the startup founder.

As an attorney and a co-founder of a venture-backed startup that made it over the finish line, I have been on both sides of the table. Through that experience, I’ve adopted an approach for managing legal spend which you can use to help ensure that you get the most from the money you put toward legal fees.

Have you had a great experience with a startup lawyer? Tell us in this brief survey.

Overview of Common Fee Structures

There are really only three legal fee structures: flat, hourly and contingency. In addition to these, attorneys may charge differently for consultations (free vs. paid), may or may not require a retainer to be paid before starting work, and perhaps will entertain certain forms of deferred compensation, such as delayed payment or equity in lieu of cash (though most will not, knowing that odds are well stacked against your startup).

Flat fees. Always good for self-contained, relatively routine legal tasks, such as business formation and subsequent stock issuance, standard IP assignments, employee handbooks, employee compensation plans, trademarks, etc. In the ideal case, you are paying your lawyer to do something they have done a hundred times before, with only minor tweaks along the way – it is predictable work that comes at a predictable price. Recent changes to the California Rules of Professional Conduct (effective 11/1/2018) have provided further guidance to lawyers and clients concerning flat fee structures, making them relatively more transparent in theory, if not in practice.

The key question for flat fees, of course, is how much should your particular matter cost? The most accurate answer here, unsurprisingly, is that “it depends” – on the experience of the attorney, on the particular legal task at hand, on your unique business circumstances, etc. While the typical business incorporation might be $2,000 all-in, a seed financing (assuming common forms are used) could be anywhere between $5,000 and $20,000).

What are the exact flat fees you should pay? We’ll have more on that soon.

Hourly fees. This is the preferred method of billing for most attorneys, not necessarily because it results in more total fees, but because the lawyer has at least some assurance she will not end up working “for free” when the client inevitably has additional questions, makes unexpected changes, or requires counsel on ancillary topics. The particular hourly rate you pay depends primarily on the experience of the attorney, usually measured in years (the absolute minimum I would suggest you consider is three years), with most solo practitioners charging somewhere between $175 to $300 per hour, boutique firms charging between $300 and $500 per hour, and large firms charging anywhere between $400 (junior associates) to $950 (experienced partners) per hour — though everything in Manhattan is more expensive.

Contingency fees. While conceptually intriguing to some, contingency fees (usually 30 percent to 40 percent of the amount potentially awarded in a given legal matter, hence the contingency) are not typically relevant for early-stage startups where the goal is generally to avoid litigation. For that reason, I will focus mostly on flat versus hourly fees.

Finally, when it comes to retainer fees, it is helpful to know that lawyers must follow strict trust accounting practices (see Rules of Professional Conduct 4-100; and also Rule 4-200 for attorney fees in general). You can even reference these rules if you ever find yourself in a fee dispute. Remember, too, that government administrative or filing fees (e.g. the cost of filing for a trademark) are always distinct from the fees paid to compensate your lawyer and therefore should be itemized separately on any billing statement you receive.

How to Keep the Fees Down

Given that background, there are a number of things you can do to help keep your lawyer fees in check:

1. Hire lawyers who have experience with the particular task you are asking them to perform. Most lawyers have a specialty of some sort (however broadly defined) in which they are most adept and therefore efficient. The last thing you want to do is pay a lawyer to educate themselves in a new practice area. Lawyers will generally list their core practice areas on their website, and it is in these areas they are most likely to be proficient. It would be a mistake in my opinion to hire a lawyer to do any work outside the explicitly enumerated practice areas shown on their website. If you are considering hiring a true business generalist, then at least try to get a sense for the practice areas in which he or she most often provides counsel and be sure there is significant overlap with your needs, including experience working with startups specifically; also, consider ratcheting up the required minimum level of experience to at least 7-10 years.

2. Educate yourself and then let your lawyer know you understand the basics. Today there are numerous high-quality, free templates and other resources available for the most common legal tasks facing startups (see links below). If you need new Terms of Service, for example, carefully read one of the many templates available, insert comments where you see fit, and pass on this marvelous example of intellectual aspiration to your attorney for final drafting. This will let the attorney know you have a basic understanding of what the assignment entails and at the very least reduce perceived asymmetries of information, improving your relative bargaining position.

a. Startup documents: Docracy, Upcounsel, Cooley Go. b. Financing documents – Y Combinator, NVCA, SeriesSeed.

3. Ask to be notified when a certain dollar amount has been billed, or to receive an informal billing update at the end of each week (even if the billing is not strictly itemized). When subject to hourly billing, it is always a good idea to stay informed of where exactly you stand. While providing detailed off-cycle billing can be a burden for lawyers, providing an informal billing update to a client generally is not and most attorneys will oblige. Also, it never hurts to ask your lawyer for time/cost estimates before starting an assignment — here again you can request the attorney notify you when they surpass their estimate; if only subconsciously, you have anchored the amount the attorney believes is appropriate to bill on the matter, which can provide you leverage on future assignments if they ultimately exceed that amount.

4. Ask for an “emerging company” discount. Most lawyers who work with startups are willing to provide discounts to smaller companies: in the case of large firms, to attract the most well-funded startups; and in the case of smaller firms or solo practitioners, to better serve their primary client type — small, undercapitalized enterprises. Remember, too, most solo practitioners are themselves entrepreneurs who have taken the risk of launching their own businesses (albeit a law firm) so they can be surprisingly sympathetic to other founders in the same situation.

5. Consider deferred fee structures. Deferred fee structures generally involve payment in something other than cash, or payment at a time in the future; there are two primary types: (a) payment of fees delayed until close of pending investment; and (b) equity (or other consideration) offered in lieu of cash. I once heard of an attorney who accepted a vintage Martin acoustic guitar as full payment for fees in the high four-figure range. Although I would very carefully consider any deferred fee structures — because they can create a misalignment of incentives (or worse, an outright conflict of interest) — they can in certain situations be a workable choice for cash-strapped startups and risk-tolerant attorneys.

6. Get clarity on costs, expenses, billing rates for administrative assistants, paralegals, etc. One advantage to working with firms who staff assistants, paralegals, junior and senior associates — all of whom support the partners of a firm — is that billable rates generally range from lowest to highest, respectively. Whenever possible, you can request that paralegals and junior associates do the most routine (yet time-consuming) work, leaving critical negotiations to the partners and high-level drafting to senior associates. Finally, make sure you understand in advance what costs and expenses the firm will pass on to you (e.g. photocopying, postage, couriers, travel) and whenever possible, ask if these costs can be waived or reduced.

Follow these tips from the outset and with some experience, you can be sure that you will efficiently allocate resources against your legal service needs.

On that note, have you already had a great experience with a startup lawyer? TechCrunch is looking for the ones founders love to work with the most. Fill out this quick survey to tell us about your experiences and we’ll share the results with you.

Daniel T. McKenzie, Esq., manages the Law Offices of Daniel McKenzie, specializing in the representation of startups and startup founders. Prior to establishing his law offices, Daniel McKenzie co-founded and served as lead in-house counsel for Reelio, Inc., backed by eVentures, and acquired in 2018 by Fullscreen (a subsidiary Otter Media and AT&T).

DISCLAIMER: This post discusses general legal issues, but it does not constitute legal advice in any respect. No reader should act or refrain from acting on the basis of any information presented herein without seeking the advice of counsel in the relevant jurisdiction. TechCrunch, the author and the author’s firm expressly disclaim all liability in respect of any actions taken or not taken based on any contents of this post.

source https://techcrunch.com/2019/01/10/how-to-get-your-moneys-worth-from-your-startup-lawyer/

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suzanneshannon · 5 years

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Taming Data with JavaScript

I love data. I also love JavaScript. Yet, data and client-side JavaScript are often considered mutually exclusive. The industry typically sees data processing and aggregation as a back-end function, while JavaScript is just for displaying the pre-aggregated data. Bandwidth and processing time are seen as huge bottlenecks for dealing with data on the client side. And, for the most part, I agree. But there are situations where processing data in the the browser makes perfect sense. In those use cases, how can we be successful?

Think about the data

Working with data in JavaScript requires both complete data and an understanding of the tools available without having to make unnecessary server calls. It helps to draw a distinction between trilateral data and summarized data.

Trilateral data consists of raw, transactional data. This is the low-level detail that, by itself, is nearly impossible to analyze. On the other side of the spectrum you have your summarized data. This is the data that can be presented in a meaningful and thoughtful manner. We’ll call this our composed data. Most important to developers are the data structures that reside between our transactional details and our fully composed data. This is our “sweet spot.” These datasets are aggregated but contain more than what we need for the final presentation. They are multidimensional in that they have two or more different dimensions (and multiple measures) that provide flexibility for how the data can be presented. These datasets allow your end users to shape the data and extract information for further analysis. They are small and performant, but offer enough detail to allow for insights that you, as the author, may not have anticipated.

Getting your data into perfect form so you can avoid any and all manipulation in the front end doesn’t need to be the goal. Instead, get the data reduced to a multidimensional dataset. Define several key dimensions (e.g., people, products, places, and time) and measures (e.g., sum, count, average, minimum, and maximum) that your client would be interested in. Finally, present the data on the page with form elements that can slice the data in a way that allows for deeper analysis.

Creating datasets is a delicate balance. You’ll want to have enough data to make your analytics meaningful without putting too much stress on the client machine. This means coming up with clear, concise requirements. Depending on how wide your dataset is, you might need to include a lot of different dimensions and metrics. A few things to keep in mind:

Is the variety of content an edge case or something that will be used frequently? Go with the 80/20 rule: 80% of users generally need 20% of what’s available.

Is each dimension finite? Dimensions should always have a predetermined set of values. For example, an ever-increasing product inventory might be too overwhelming, whereas product categories might work nicely.

When possible, aggregate the data—dates especially. If you can get away with aggregating by years, do it. If you need to go down to quarters or months, you can, but avoid anything deeper.

Less is more. A dimension that has fewer values is better for performance. For instance, take a dataset with 200 rows. If you add another dimension that has four possible values, the most it will grow is 200 * 4 = 800 rows. If you add a dimension that has 50 values, it’ll grow 200 * 50 = 10,000 rows. This will be compounded with each dimension you add.

In multidimensional datasets, avoid summarizing measures that need to be recalculated every time the dataset changes. For instance, if you plan to show averages, you should include the total and the count. Calculate averages dynamically. This way, if you are summarizing the data, you can recalculate averages using the summarized values.

Make sure you understand the data you’re working with before attempting any of the above. You could make some wrong assumptions that lead to misinformed decisions. Data quality is always a top priority. This applies to the data you are both querying and manufacturing.

Never take a dataset and make assumptions about a dimension or a measure. Don’t be afraid to ask for data dictionaries or other documentation about the data to help you understand what you are looking at. Data analysis is not something that you guess. There could be business rules applied, or data could be filtered out beforehand. If you don’t have this information in front of you, you can easily end up composing datasets and visualizations that are meaningless or—even worse—completely misleading.

The following code example will help explain this further. Full code for this example can be found on GitHub.

Our use case

For our example we will use BuzzFeed’s dataset from “Where U.S. Refugees Come From—and Go—in Charts.” We’ll build a small app that shows us the number of refugees arriving in a selected state for a selected year. Specifically, we will show one of the following depending on the user’s request:

total arrivals for a state in a given year;

total arrivals for all years for a given state;

and total arrivals for all states in a given year.

The UI for selecting your state and year would be a simple form:

The code will:

Send a request for the data.

Convert the results to JSON.

Process the data.

Log any errors to the console. (Note: To ensure that step 3 does not execute until after the complete dataset is retrieved, we use the then method and do all of our data processing within that block.)

Display results back to the user.

We do not want to pass excessively large datasets over the wire to browsers for two main reasons: bandwidth and CPU considerations. Instead, we’ll aggregate the data on the server with Node.js.

Source data:

[{"year":2005,"origin":"Afghanistan","dest_state":"Alabama","dest_city":"Mobile","arrivals":0}, {"year":2006,"origin":"Afghanistan","dest_state":"Alabama","dest_city":"Mobile","arrivals":0}, ... ]

Multidimensional Data:

[{"year": 2005, "state": "Alabama","total": 1386}, {"year": 2005, "state": "Alaska", "total": 989}, ... ]

How to get your data structure into place

AJAX and the Fetch API

There are a number of ways with JavaScript to retrieve data from an external source. Historically you would use an XHR request. XHR is widely supported but is also fairly complex and requires several different methods. There are also libraries like Axios or jQuery’s AJAX API. These can be helpful to reduce complexity and provide cross-browser support. These might be an option if you are already using these libraries, but we want to opt for native solutions whenever possible. Lastly, there is the more recent Fetch API. This is less widely supported, but it is straightforward and chainable. And if you are using a transpiler (e.g., Babel), it will convert your code to a more widely supported equivalent.

For our use case, we’ll use the Fetch API to pull the data into our application:

This code is a snippet from the main.js in the GitHub repo

The fetch() method sends a request for the data, and we convert the results to JSON. To ensure that the next statement doesn’t execute until after the complete dataset is retrieved, we use the then() method and do all our data processing within that block. Lastly, we console.log() any errors.

Our goal here is to identify the key dimensions we need for reporting—year and state—before we aggregate the number of arrivals for those dimensions, removing country of origin and destination city. You can refer to the Node.js script /preprocess/index.js from the GitHub repo for more details on how we accomplished this. It generates the aggregate.json file loaded by fetch() above.

Multidimensional data

The goal of multidimensional formatting is flexibility: data detailed enough that the user doesn’t need to send a query back to the server every time they want to answer a different question, but summarized so that your application isn’t churning through the entire dataset with every new slice of data. You need to anticipate the questions and provide data that formulates the answers. Clients want to be able to do some analysis without feeling constrained or completely overwhelmed.

As with most APIs, we’ll be working with JSON data. JSON is a standard that is used by most APIs to send data to applications as objects consisting of name and value pairs. Before we get back to our use case, let’s look at a sample multidimensional dataset:

const ds = [{ "year": 2005, "state": "Alabama", "total": 1386, "priorYear": 1201 }, { "year": 2005, "state": "Alaska", "total": 811, "priorYear": 1541 }, { "year": 2006, "state": "Alabama", "total": 989, "priorYear": 1386 }];

With your dataset properly aggregated, we can use JavaScript to further analyze it. Let’s take a look at some of JavaScript’s native array methods for composing data.

How to work effectively with your data via JavaScript

Array.filter()

The filter() method of the Array prototype (Array.prototype.filter()) takes a function that tests every item in the array, returning another array containing only the values that passed the test. It allows you to create meaningful subsets of the data based on select dropdown or text filters. Provided you included meaningful, discrete dimensions for your multidimensional dataset, your user will be able to gain insight by viewing individual slices of data.

ds.filter(d => d.state === "Alabama"); // Result [{ state: "Alabama", total: 1386, year: 2005, priorYear: 1201 },{ state: "Alabama", total: 989, year: 2006, priorYear: 1386 }]

Array.map()

The map() method of the Array prototype (Array.prototype.map()) takes a function and runs every array item through it, returning a new array with an equal number of elements. Mapping data gives you the ability to create related datasets. One use case for this is to map ambiguous data to more meaningful, descriptive data. Another is to take metrics and perform calculations on them to allow for more in-depth analysis.

Use case #1—map data to more meaningful data:

ds.map(d => (d.state.indexOf("Alaska")) ? "Contiguous US" : "Continental US"); // Result [ "Contiguous US", "Continental US", "Contiguous US" ]

Use case #2—map data to calculated results:

ds.map(d => Math.round(((d.priorYear - d.total) / d.total) * 100)); // Result [-13, 56, 40]

Array.reduce()

The reduce() method of the Array prototype (Array.prototype.reduce()) takes a function and runs every array item through it, returning an aggregated result. It’s most commonly used to do math, like to add or multiply every number in an array, although it can also be used to concatenate strings or do many other things. I have always found this one tricky; it’s best learned through example.

When presenting data, you want to make sure it is summarized in a way that gives insight to your users. Even though you have done some general-level summarizing of the data server-side, this is where you allow for further aggregation based on the specific needs of the consumer. For our app we want to add up the total for every entry and show the aggregated result. We’ll do this by using reduce() to iterate through every record and add the current value to the accumulator. The final result will be the sum of all values (total) for the array.

ds.reduce((accumulator, currentValue) => accumulator + currentValue.total, 0); // Result 3364

Applying these functions to our use case

Once we have our data, we will assign an event to the “Get the Data” button that will present the appropriate subset of our data. Remember that we have several hundred items in our JSON data. The code for binding data via our button is in our main.js:

document.getElementById("submitBtn").onclick = function(e){ e.preventDefault(); let state = document.getElementById("stateInput").value || "All" let year = document.getElementById("yearInput").value || "All" let subset = window.fetchData.filterData(year, state); if (subset.length == 0 ) subset.push({'state': 'N/A', 'year': 'N/A', 'total': 'N/A'}) document.getElementById("output").innerHTML = `<table class="table"> <thead> <tr> <th scope="col">State</th> <th scope="col">Year</th> <th scope="col">Arrivals</th> </tr> </thead> <tbody> <tr> <td>${subset[0].state}</td> <td>${subset[0].year}</td> <td>${subset[0].total}</td> </tr> </tbody> </table>` }

If you leave either the state or year blank, that field will default to “All.” The following code is available in /js/main.js. You’ll want to look at the filterData() function, which is where we keep the lion’s share of the functionality for aggregation and filtering.

// with our data returned from our fetch call, we are going to // filter the data on the values entered in the text boxes fetchData.filterData = function(yr, state) { // if "All" is entered for the year, we will filter on state // and reduce the years to get a total of all years if (yr === "All") { let total = this.jsonData.filter( // return all the data where state // is equal to the input box dState => (dState.state === state) .reduce((accumulator, currentValue) => { // aggregate the totals for every row that has // the matched value return accumulator + currentValue.total; }, 0); return [{'year': 'All', 'state': state, 'total': total}]; } ... // if a specific year and state are supplied, simply // return the filtered subset for year and state based // on the supplied values by chaining the two function // calls together let subset = this.jsonData.filter(dYr => dYr.year === yr) .filter(dSt => dSt.state === state); return subset; }; // code that displays the data in the HTML table follows this. See main.js.

When a state or a year is blank, it will default to “All” and we will filter down our dataset to that particular dimension, and summarize the metric for all rows in that dimension. When both a year and a state are entered, we simply filter on the values.

We now have a working example where we:

Start with a raw, transactional dataset;

Create a semi-aggregated, multidimensional dataset;

And dynamically build a fully composed result.

Note that once the data is pulled down by the client, we can manipulate the data in a number of different ways without having to make subsequent calls to the server. This is especially useful because if the user loses connectivity, they do not lose the ability to manipulate the data. This is useful if you are creating a progressive web app (PWA) that needs to be available offline. (If you are not sure if your web app should be a PWA, this article can help.)

Once you get a firm handle on these three methods, you can create just about any analysis that you want on a dataset. Map a dimension in your dataset to a broader category and summarize using reduce. Combined with a library like D3, you can map this data into charts and graphs to allow a fully customizable data visualization.

Conclusion

This article gives a better sense of what is possible in JavaScript when working with data. As I mentioned, client-side JavaScript is in no way a substitute for translating and transforming data on the server, where the heavy lifting should be done. But by the same token, it also shouldn’t be completely ruled out when datasets are treated properly.

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