#There are so many lovely fics with tipsy Lily

[leclsrc]

a certain romance ✴︎ cs55

genre: fluff!, humor

word count: 4.5k

A love affair is never an easy thing to keep under wraps. Or, the four times your two brothers almost catch you and Carlos together, and the one time they finally do.

notes... reader is a leclerc, one sexual allusion but it’s not bad, french that is basically translatable thru context clues

auds here... req’d, sort of twice! was gonna make this a full fledged fic but i went with the short route to keep it brief. i hope u like this anon/s :) title from a song of the same name by the arctic monkeys. also there is use of y/n which i generally don’t like using in fics bec i feel it disrupts the flow, but it wouldn’t have fit any other way so. must b all... enjoy!

If you told Carlos Sainz that he—a full grown, mature, twenty-eight-year-old man—would be tiptoeing on the balcony of a hotel in Monaco (shirtless and fully terrified, no less) eight months from now, he would laugh at you. But he’d be doing so anyway, fearing something in the room behind him rather than the alarmingly high distance he’d be possessing over the road below. He’d inhale, exhale, recites a few proverbs to keep himself calm. But now, if you told him, he would mumble something along the lines of estúpido, because really, how the hell would he get himself into that situation?

Don’t worry. He’s going to find out.

“I’m not really looking to date,” he says wisely, taking another swig of his beer. “I think racing is the number one thing on my mind. And it’s difficult to maintain a balance of both.”

Lando clears his throat, tipsy from having exhausted his drinks and then some. “Mate, quit being a pessimist. You Spaniards, I swear. That’s not necessarily true. I made it work.” He presents two thumbs, pointing them toward his beaming, dopey face. 

Carlos stares. “Luisa broke up with you.”

“Right then, you arse, twist the knife,” Lando mutters exasperatedly, his thumbs drooping down and his smile dropping. Carlos can’t help but throw his head back in amusement, eking out apologies in between bouts of laughter. The younger just mocks the laugh, finishing the beer he’d been drinking. 

The two are on the balcony of Lando’s flat, overlooking the expanse of Chelsea. The subject of girlfriends and looking for love had been between them for a while now, seeing as they were both single; they’d often greet each other with a Got a girlfriend yet, cabrón? And, while the conversation was generally harmless, it did tend to push Carlos into a state of introspection regarding his own love life.

“But honestly, really.” Carlos says. “I just don’t know if a girl is what I need right now. Unless somebody perfect drops on my lap.”

“I’m going to ignore how pervy that sounds—but I get it. I guess the career thing’s just the priority, huh, mate? And speaking of career”—Lando rifles through his jacket pocket and fishes his phone out—“we’re going to be late for dinner if we don’t leave in the next fifteen.”

Ah, dinner: the only reason Carlos had chartered a jet to London earlier today in the first place. Proposed out of sheer fun and then carrying on because it actually seemed like a doable idea, Lando had texted a few drivers and invited them and however-many-pluses they wished to bring to an upscale restaurant in the city as a way to get in touch.

It didn’t seem ideal, until they realized that 1. Lando, George, and Alex were already in London, and 2. Charles was with family and had a meeting there, too, and—well, at that point Carlos had basically succumbed to peer pressure and gotten on a jet straight to the UK. Lando always had a penchant for making these plans and spending the entire time making dirty jokes and/or getting tipsy and/or using his camera to take pictures of any and everyone, which really just made the dinners all the more fun.

They clean up the bottles of beer they’d drank from, and Carlos pulls his coat on by the door, still unused to the overcast British weather. “Who’s there later?”

“The boys, Arthur… Lily, Carmen. I think. I mean nobody brought their mums or whatever. That’s all of ‘em, I suppose.” Lando inspects his outfit in the mirror by the entryway and swaps out his jacket for a different one, ushering Carlos out the door and into the waiting car. Something about I’d rather be driven around than drive a pretentious sports car around the city looking like a daft prick. 

They’re halfway to the restaurant, both on their phones, when Lando suddenly gasps softly and goes, “Right, and Charles’ sister is going too.”

Carlos looks up, interest piqued. He hadn’t heard much of Charles’ sister before—you’d dropped by a few races, and had always been present for the entirety of the Monaco weekend, but you weren’t engaged in racing as much as Charles’ other siblings. He’d shaken hands with you and made the polite, necessary, albeit totally rushed small talk. “Y/N,” he recounts. “Right?”

“Yessir,” Lando says, letting Drake filter through the AUX of the car. “The one in law school.”

He nods, trying to pick out specific memories. None really come to mind—it’s all introductions that repeat themselves. Hi, Carlos Sainz, Charles’ teammate. Oh, hi, I’m Charles’ sister. He faintly recounts finding you pretty, but having not seen you at the paddock for quite a while, he considers his memories dubious at best. He leans back and listens to Lando rap Rich Flex with an obnoxiously posh accent instead, and figures if he dies now, at least he wouldn’t have to keep hearing this.

The restaurant is nearer than they anticipate, so the Drake rap-along session is cut blissfully short, the pair being ushered into the private seating area, coats taken and wine served. They join George, who, at his insistence, had made the reservation in the first place even if Lando had suggested the restaurant, and Carmen. 

“Charles and Albon?” Carlos asks when he takes a seat, greeting the couple.

“Charles and Arthur are on their way, but Alex is stuck in Harrods with Lily and Y/N. They got busy looking for shoes or something. Poor guy,” George says, half-laughing. 

“I so wish I met up with the girls beforehand,” Carmen mopes, “the sale at Harrods is amazing.”

The conversation descends into a multitude of different topics, as they always do when Lando and George lead the way—racing (obviously), Carmen, Daniel Ricciardo even, dogs, any plans of adopting dogs, and then, because George Russell is a little shit, he says: “Feels nice being the only guy with a girlfriend at the table right now, innit?”

Carmen pinches his arm but he persists with a smile. “No, but really. You two are just about the most eligible bachelors ever and still single. What gives?”

“I for one am not into monogamy at the moment,” Lando says matter-of-factly. “I’m twenty-three, mate. I’m trying to have fun. But Mr. Almost Thirty here is a different case.”

“Ay,” Carlos gripes. “It’s not an involuntary thing. Just want to focus on racing.”

He prays then for this topic to come to a close so he won’t have to explain himself all over again, and reprieve comes in the form of Charles and Arthur entering the room. Already Charles is talking, before he even takes a seat, and Arthur is nodding along—something about how London traffic sucks, how are your streets so small, mate, oh my God Harrods is so full, Lily and Y/N have been at it for hours, poor Alex, he volunteered to stay. The guy spouts words quickly and easily, in an accent that sounds both English and French.

The rest of the wait time happens fast—Lily and Alex rush through the entrance, apologizing for being late. The lines are so long, Lily explains, taking a seat and leaving the other side empty. When her boyfriend tries to sit there, she swats him away, goes, babe, no, that’s for Y/N. So her boyfriend sits woefully across her and beside Carlos instead.

“Where is Y/N?” Charles asks. Carlos is also curious, albeit inwardly. He didn’t even know you were arriving until late, and still he hasn’t seen your face.

“Sorry, I had to check something with the valet,” a voice goes, and then you’re sliding into the seat across him.

The thing is, Carlos has been stunned before.

It’s sort of a non-negotiable when you go into such a demanding, high-risk sport. If he’s careening into another car, or the side of a circuit—obviously, it stuns him. Everything spins into slow motion for a few nerve-wracking seconds. But he’s also been stunned in all the good ways: when he can tell he’s in the lead, when he overtakes the car in front of him, when he bounds past the flag and realizes it’s a podium finish. So, yes—Carlos is fully familiar with the gut churning, belly spinning delirium of being stunned. So familiar, in fact, that he’s grown familiar with it, developed a second skin for it, welcomed it with open arms.

Which also explains the way he sees you laughing quietly at something Lily says and subsequently realizes, with apprehension and dread, that he is stunned.

—

The first time it happens is after the dinner—not just the dinner, but the drinks and the London walk that followed, accompanied by three noisy and drunk tour guides (read: Lando, George, Alex). Charles and Arthur, almost as drunk, follow the tour with loud jabs of their own, and Lily and Carmen are filming everything on their phones. You’ve been on your phone checking an email, and Carlos takes a call from his cousin, which naturally leads both you and him to trail behind the group.

So, when you’re both done taking calls and checking emails, it’s the two of you left to your own devices. You swing within the awkward few moments of deciding whether to rejoin the group or just keep trailing behind, your shoes clicking softly against the cobblestone pavement, accompaniments to Lando’s loud singing of Piano Man. 

“What’d you think of the wine?” You ask, your accent sliding easy into the syllables but not losing its distinctiveness. 

He pretends to ponder, even if he’d given Lando a full-scale review when they first left the restaurant, and turns back to you. “It was okay. A bit too sweet for my taste.”

“Exactly! That’s what I told Arthur, but he found it perfect. I guess kids these days just don’t have taste.”

You both laugh at your sarcastic use of “kids”, knowing you’re just two years older than your younger brother. Carlos opens his mouth to speak, trying to find footing, the perfect suave thing to say to possibly land himself in a position to flirt.

Right then, Lando reaches the crescendo of Somebody to Love (he can’t ever finish a song), and then Charles is turning around to find you and Carlos engaged in conversation. His lips stretch into a mischievous smile.

“Aye, Carlos! Back off the baby sister, mate!” He slurs, clapping Arthur on the back to catch his attention.

Arthur’s eyes narrow playfully, darting in between you both. Carlos just raises a middle finger in response, sending the brothers into unnecessarily extensive bouts of laughter. You roll your eyes, blowing a raspberry. “Putain. These fucking shitheads never leave me alone.”

George is in the middle of teaching Charles to say sod off instead of back off when Carlos purses his lips and, on a whim, turns and goes: “Is there a rule against dating drivers?”

You try and fail to hide a smile. “Hmm. None, I don’t think.”

Silence. Then you speak again, coy. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Carlos says. London is suddenly a place of magic. “No reason at all.”

—

It’s at an afterparty, the second time it happens—and technically the first where you and Carlos actually connect properly. In hindsight, it might’ve been stupid to flirt with him in the middle of the dance floor—something he thankfully realized in the moment, taking your hand and guiding you through the throng of people into the back exit.

Nobody said first kisses had to be remarkable in the romantic sense. Sometimes they’re in seedy European alleyways, with a fist bunched into his polo and a hand on your hip. It had to happen this way, because how else would two months of beating around the bush culminate? Because even if you’re drunk, you can’t stop thinking about how much you want to kiss him again. Tomorrow morning. And the next.

You pull away, but he speaks first, voice rushed and semi-sobered. “Let’s not.”

Humming, you try to swallow the lump of distress in your throat. “Why?”

“Because,” he says, nervous now, gulping. “Because—of the bro code.”

You stare. “Is that a Spanish thing?”

“B-ro c-ode,” he says again, enunciating the syllables; the Spanish accent doesn’t go away, and neither do his hands, hot and big on your hip and waist. 

You move your hand from where it’s fisted into his shirt, cupping his neck. Then you burst out laughing, much to Carlos’ confusion. “That is so not a thing,” you press, unconvinced.

“It is. Bro code. I just crossed that line, dios mio,” he says, clearly way more stressed than you are. 

“Bro code isn’t upheld for boys over twenty-one,” you say haughtily. Right then, you hear Arthur’s voice through the door and it swings open a few seconds later. In the span of those moments, you shove Carlos away nervously and attempt to look like you weren’t doing anything.

Arthur’s on the phone, speaking in quick French when he sees you and Carlos at a respectable distance. He tilts the phone away, mouths What’s up?, pointing at the both of you.

“I felt like vomiting and he was nearby,” you reply, nodding. He’s out of view, exiting the alleyway within seconds and back on the phone. 

You exhale, and turn back to him. “Okay, so maybe the bro code is a thing.”

He looks at you as if to say no shit. “I don’t think we should do this,” he says, but his tone betrays himself.

“Okay,” you say. “Okay.”

“Right, yes.”

A beat. “Can you kiss me again?”

—

Against all odds, you and Carlos had managed to successfully start dating under your brothers’—ergo the majority of your mutual circle’s—noses. You’d only let it slip to a few close friends and family, and in Carlos’ case, Lando, because Lord knows the guy could not keep his mouth shut for the life of him. And even if it was stressful, and it often felt like any moment would be interrupted by somebody catching the both of you on the phone, or even together, neither of you could deny how good it was.

It’s five months later—five months of pure bliss, for the most part. Save for multiple close calls, you and Carlos had enjoyed each other’s company. You’d tried to navigate how everything would work once you realized you both wanted something more out of the relationship, but neither of you wanted to deal with the hassle of your overprotective siblings yet. You’d resorted to hours of FaceTime, everyday texts, and if the world was on your side, the occasional date. 

The last method is easily your favorite, you both—and when the drivers get three weeks off and Carlos spends it in Las Vegas, that’s how it happens, the third time. Carlos visits you at your hotel, relishing in the eleven-thirty emptiness of the communal area, swimming in the jacuzzi and giggling about something into Carlos’ neck. You barely remember the joke; you’re honestly just welling up with enthusiasm and an endless supply of laughs that your boyfriend is finally with you.

Your head is still dug into Carlos’ neck, laughing about something else now, when you hear faraway footsteps. Having grown used to being a pseudo-patrolman, your eyes dart up immediately, and your stomach drops when you see, seriously, of all fucking people—Charles and Arthur. 

“Oh my God,” you mutter, dumbfounded. A hand wet with jacuzzi water taps frantically on your phone; sure enough, you’d gotten texts from the both of them about dropping by your hotel for drinks. “Oh my God, oh my God.”

You disembark from your position on your boyfriend’s lap, hoping the hickey he sucked onto your neck won’t be visible from meters away. Your eyes shoot up again, and they still haven’t spotted you. Holding your breath and bracing yourself, you turn to Carlos, place two hands on his shoulders, and shove him underneath the water.

They spot you then, waving enthusiastically. “Drinks!” Arthur shouts, mimicking a beer bottle with his hand. You chew your lip nervously, raising one hand and waving back.

“Don’t wait up and I’ll just meet you at the bar!” You holler, watching as they pass through the entrance at a truly leisurely pace. 

Once they’re in, you haul your boyfriend up and he breathes deeply, anxious. “Puta madre.”

“I think we should tell them soon. I don’t want you literally dying just for the sake of keeping us a secret,” you say, maintaining a safe distance and constantly turning toward the entrance just in case. You reach for his hand underwater.

“It’s thrilling, actually,” he winks.

“I’m sorry if it’s a bother.” You say woefully, guilt eating at you a little bit. But he takes your hand, squeezes it among the jacuzzi bubbles.

“Nothing’s a bother with you.”

—

Charles knocks on your Monza hotel room door when it happens the fourth time, opening it once he finds it unlocked—and then freezing when he finds you buried in your duvet ’til your shoulders. You’re in your silk pajama top, arms and mouth outstretched into a yawn when your eyes meet, hair disheveled. You blink.

“Charles.” You say confusedly, letting your arms drop. “Tu vas bien?”

“Mmm, ça va.” He pauses. “Et toi?”

“Moi aussi,” you say casually. “Any reason you came into my room without waiting for me to answer the damn door?”

He smiles, as if remembering why he invaded your privacy. “Right, I came in here to ask if you’ve seen Arthur.”

“I’m clearly by myself in bed, so no,” you respond cuttingly. “Last I checked he was walking around with Lando.” The two had become fast friends after the London dinner. 

Your elder brother hums, then moves to take a seat on your bed, to which you quickly reach over, grab a complimentary soap bar (on the bedside table and not the shower, which you’d found weird), and toss it square at his face. “Ah—ay! What the fuck?”

“Don’t come near me,” you say. “I’m sick.”

“Sick? What rubbish. You were literally at the paddock hours ago totally fine.”

“Don’t be daft. Not that kind of sick, you arse—”

“Not that kind of sick,” he mocks, exaggerating his accent and raising his voice a few octaves to sound like a silly version of you. He raises an accusatory finger. “You lie, you lie!”

“I am not lying,” you insist irritably, sitting up a little and cocking your brow. “Tu es insupportable!”

You slide into a flurry of angry French and Italian in your valiant efforts to defend your innocence, and Charles is infected into doing the same. Eventually the room is just filled with indistinguishable insults and scoffed phrases of merde, ah bon?, and immensely accented What thuh helliz your problem?s. You even chuck another hotel soap at him for extra measure, but he manages to catch it this time. It’s childish, like many of your petty fights born out of irritance.

“I’m on my period, you prick,” you say as a last resort, once the insults have run their sufficient course. “I couldn’t be arsed to find Arthur.” His eyes narrow, doubting you, but ultimately he admits defeat, walking back to the door to exit your room. The door’s out of view of your bed, so you brace yourself, waiting for it to open and click closed.

“You better not be harboring a fugitive in here!” He says, but only half of here is heard before the door clicks shut and drowns him out. The tension leaves your body and you heave a deep sigh, relaxing backwards and biting your lip. 

The thick silk duvet flips upward and Carlos surfaces, face flushed from being in hiding for so long.

One arm is still curled around your thigh, the inner part of which is rubbed raw from his facial hair being against it. You stare at one another with dopey smiles on your faces, relieved that you’d managed to act fast and flip the huge blanket over Carlos—although he had conveniently been in that position to begin with. 

“Do either of you ever shut up?”

“One more word and I’m kicking you,” you say, reaching an arm out to stroke his jaw. You smile, laughing a little. “I’m not bluffing.”

“Scary, princesa,” he teases, hauling himself up to press a lasting kiss onto your lips. You smile into it, out of relief that your nosy elder brother didn’t catch you, but also out of the way your heart swells when Carlos smiles.

—

“You’re absolutely sure it’s the right room number?”

“100% positive. 613, Y/N Leclerc.”

“And not any other Leclerc.”

“Mate, I just said Y/N. Get a grip,” Lando scoffs. “My investigative skills pay off. Still don’t understand why you couldn’t have just asked her yourself, seeing as though you two are, I dunno, dating.”

“It’s a surprise, man,” Carlos says cuttingly, facing the lobby of the Hôtel de Paris. “Alright, thanks, cábron. I’ll see you soon.”

“Get some!” The Brit whoops, and then Carlos is taking the elevator to your room.

He didn’t think of himself as much of a surprises guy, but then again—he didn’t think of himself as much as a flowers and teddy bear guy, but he’d gotten you those every month since you became official; he didn’t think of himself as much of a physical touch guy, but he was always the one initiating hugs and cuddle sessions. The list goes on.

He knocks, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

Much to his relief, it really is you who answers, with the face of surprise he wanted out of this. Before you utter a word, he’s dipping down to kiss you, and you find yourself returning the kiss, knowing you’d lost your boyfriend’s presence for so long. It quickens fast, and Carlos wedges himself in, kicking the door closed behind him.

You pull away. “Wait, I—”

He kisses you again, and you can’t resist, laughing at his persistence. He pulls away to tug his shirt off, and that’s when you crash back to reality. “Mmmm—Carlos, this isn’t my room!” 

Everything happens fast after that.

The door starts opening and Carlos hears Charles on the other side of it, talking about there was a room mix-up, Y/N, this is mine and 615 is yours—he misses the rest of the sentence, clutching his singlet to his bare chest and allowing himself to be pushed by his girlfriend out the door of the balcony. Thinking he’s safe if just for a moment, he turns, but finds he still sees the room—the curtains don't cover him enough. 

And if he can see the room, he figures, the room can see him. And if the room can see him, Charles will see him when he’s fully inside. 

You’re gesticulating wildly with your hands, trying to find a way to distract your brother, turning away from Carlos briefly to maybe just accept your fate. Charles shuts the door, facing you and, consequently, the balcony doors. Your heart seizes. Surely, Carlos must be there—there’s no other place left for him to hide, unless he miraculously fit his blocky, broad frame behind a random potted plant.

“Something wrong?” Charles says, and you whip around. The balcony’s blissfully empty.

“N…othing.” You say. “Nothing.”

“D’accord,” he says promptly. “So. Dinner?”

Your head spins, unable to formulate a reply. Where could Carlos have hidden?

The balcony is a bit wide, but the entirety of it is visible, and, well—Carlos is clearly not. There’s one lawn sofa, and one plant, neither of which seem to harbor your favorite Spaniard, so where the fuck is he? Because of course, he’s not stupid. Surely. He’s twenty-eight, you think.

What kind of guy would climb onto the banister of the Hôtel de Paris just to hide from his girlfriend’s older brother?

Carlos cannot believe he’s on the banister of the Hôtel de Paris just to hide from his girlfriend’s older brother.

In the scurry of it, he hadn’t even gotten properly dressed. So here he is, braving the frigid sixth-floor air and the harrowing height at which he stands, brandishing his shirt like it’s a flag and standing like he’s on a podium. He feels like he’s about to die for love. Like some Shakespearean hero.

But when he digs deep he figures he doesn’t actually mind at all. Sure, he feels like he’s on the brink of death, but he realizes it’s for you in the end, and that comforts him. He never thought he’d do this, ever, not even if he was paid, or bet on, or for a Real Madrid win. He leans back and ignores the asphalt below. He’ll stay here as long as he needs to.

“Mate, get down from there.” Carlos looks up to see Charles and Arthur going absolutely mental, even taking a few photos for good measure. Relieved, scared, and just glad his stint on the banister is over, he climbs off and pulls his shirt back on, crossing his arms. He spots you inside, smiling but also insisting they delete the incriminating evidence.

In the end, seriously? This is the reaction you and he hid from for eight months? You walk over to place yourself beside Carlos, watching your brothers. Two fools laughing at everything, each other, their sister, and her boyfriend. “Jig is up,” Charles says. “But we’ve known since you two kissed outside that club.”

You roll your eyes; clearly, you’ve already been told this information. But Carlos is slack-jawed with shock—they did all that on purpose. How fucking cheeky, really. He figures they gave Lando the wrong room number through the grapevine, too.

“But,” Charles says, wiping real tears from his eyes, “I know you love my sister, mate, so I’ll be the first to say I approve. Arthur will be the second.”

“I approve,” says Arthur dumbly.

“We approve,” they say in unison, then they’re laughing all over again. You swat both of their arms in retaliation, which causes the teasing to subside.

“Now, cábron,” Charles says gleefully, “we do have a couple of questions for you…”

You squeeze his hand. Even if he prefers the banister, your presence is comforting all the same, and he’d answer any totally unnecessary, pointless, silly question from your brothers if it means he gets to hug you again later. If you told him eight months ago he’d be this in love, he would’ve laughed in your face. But here he is anyway. 

It’s comforting.

#f1 #carlos sainz #carlos sainz drabble #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz imagines #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz x reader #f1 x reader

[startanewdream]

Don't drink and kiss

For @everythinghasreason. Happy (early) birthday! 🎈🎉

(Link on AO3 later)

Rated T; 2.5k.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You didn't kiss me last night," Lily says, the words leaving her lips before she can control herself, very much like everything she remembers saying the night before.

Specifically an impromptu admission of exactly how she feels about her fellow Head Boy, who looks at her now with a startled expression on his face, the grin he had been spotting ever since she had first seen him in the morning slowly melting away from his lips. He watches her face as if he is trying to read her thoughts—and isn’t happy with whatever he is seeing there.

For a moment she thinks James will turn his back to her, ignoring her altogether, but then he shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets as if to keep him from messing his hair, and his face rearranges its features in the most carefree expression he has ever spotted.

"You were drunk," he says as if she needs a reminder, as if her head hasn't been buzzing all morning.

"So?" Her voice is still relenting on a strange bravado. Lily wonders if the alcohol is still fuelling her. "So were you."

"So I was," he agrees slowly. "And perhaps I'd rather snog someone who will remember it the next day."

"I would have."

James blinks, unsmiling. "I don't think so."

"I remember talking to you. And I… I said things, James. I know I did."

His eyes flash with something she doesn't understand. "That bit about how you can't stop thinking about me? Pretty sure you were talking to the firewhiskey."

His tone is teasing, but Lily hears the heaviness and while she'd thought that James would find some joy in hearing her confession, a sudden fear grips her heart. Perhaps she misunderstood everything: their banter, their conversations, their distracted touches. Their flirting. Perhaps he was never flirting back with her.

Shame floods her. Now she understands why he hasn't kissed her. Gods, how foolish did she act?

"Yeah, I drank too much," she agrees, voice dry, accepting his easy way out. "I will pay more attention next time."

He takes a second longer than necessary to answer her. "Already planning the next hangover, Evans? I am actually impressed."

She laughs, humourless as it is.

"One can never promise something they won't fulfill, Potter."

James looks at her, eyes searching for something in her face that Lily doesn't understand, before he takes a step back.

"You are right on that," he says, chagrinned, and with a nod from his head, he turns away from her.

She can’t help but feel as if she disappointed him somehow.

______

Lily picks up piece by piece what happened that night.

It's like solving a jigsaw puzzle. The borders she already has, all those pieces that remind her how loose she had felt with the first taste of firewhiskey, fuelled by a desire to do something daring.

James is there in those pieces, telling her to go easy even as he is already tipsy with his own shots of alcohol. It was his cautious caring warning that made her get her second taste, urging herself to just tell him how she felt.

By the third shot she called him for a dance, though they didn't dance as far as she remembers—the alcohol was enough for getting her the nerve to do it, not the ability. She remembers how they mostly tripped over each other, laughing and falling on a couch.

There is a gap between the fourth and the fifth shot, but she remembers that by the sixth shot they were together in a corner of the room, and staring at him, the words spilled out of her. The alcohol had acted as some kind of protection, a barrier against any fear, as Lily told James exactly what she had been feeling for him for a while now.

That's how far Lily has, so she collects the other pieces by hearing conversations, asking nonchalant questions to her friends, to his friends.

No one seems to know all the details, but from Mary she gathers how they slowly danced at some point that Lily attributes to the fourth or the fifth shot. Remus mentions watching James returning to their dorm very late in the night, grinning as if he had just won the Quidditch cup. Dorcas asks her if they are going out because she saw them holding hands at the end of the party. Sirius grumpily tells her she is a fool and refuses to say anything else.

Lily has a good picture by now, incomplete as it is. If her jigsaw puzzle was a painting of Hogwarts, she would have the lake and the forest already, but the castle, the center of the puzzle, it's still blank.

Then her dreams help her.

They don't make sense and at first Lily blames her imagination for just shaping everyone’s comment into what she wants. From Mary's comment, Lily dreams of her arms around James' neck, playing softly with his hair while he holds her waist, their feet moving together though they aren't really moving. Dreams aren't supposed to be this sensorial, but she swears she wakes up feeling his musky scent, the softness of the curls of his hair, as if he was there with her.

From Dorcas' tale, Lily dreams of steady hands, of feeling the callousness due to years of Quidditch practice, of a warmth that ran from his body to hers as they experimented holding hands, fingers intertwined together. He holds their joint hands, raises them and places a kiss at the back of her hand. Then he brings their hands over his heart; it’s beating fast, and it's because of her.

Neither Mary or Dorcas' tales were so colourful, so vivid, but Lily dreams of it and the edges of the castle are visible by then.

But no one tells her anything else and still Lily dreams more.

She thinks of hazel eyes shining with her confession, a hand touching her face, putting strands of her hair out of her face and leaving a trace of fire where he touches her.

She thinks of a sigh, hand falling back and a hopeless voice. You are just drunk, Evans, you don't mean that.

But she does, and she tells him and she makes a dangerous promise. He stares at her for some time, still unsure, but she knows there is only truth in her face. Then he believes in her, leans closer very slowly, still giving her plenty of time to draw back, to give up, to say she doesn’t want this.

Lily doesn’t remember much from that night, but she knows she wanted that kiss. She wanted him, long before she got her first taste of alcohol.

Her puzzle is almost complete, only two or three pieces missing that she can’t seem to place right. It feels as if she is assembling that puzzle in the dark, hoping the pieces will fit but unable to see the whole picture. She thinks of soft lips and warm hands, taste of firewhiskey and a musky smell, her name in a sigh, being held in place to keep from falling apart and she knows she would if not for him.

Her heart quickens when she realizes there is only one last piece missing, and a longing for something she should remember, but can’t, floods her.

A week after the first Quidditch match—a week during which, almost displicently, James avoids her—Lily seeks for him at last.

His friends are there in the Common Room, talking quietly to each other, but James isn’t in sight. She approaches them carefully; Remus and Peter nod at her, but Sirius frowns unhappily, giving her the same hard look he has thrown at her all week.

“Hey,” she calls, keeping her voice light. “Do you know where James is?”

“Why?” Sirius asks, crossing his arms and ignoring Remus’ nudge. “Decided to mess up with him a little more?”

Lily bites her lip. “No, the opposite.”

“Quite late for that—”

“He went for a fly,” Remus says, cutting Sirius. “You might find him in the Quidditch pitch.”

“Thanks,” says Lily, looking outside. The sun is setting. Then she glances back at Sirius. “I really want to fix this.”

“Then stay sober,” he says, and Lily flinches, but she supposes Sirius is right.

The walk to the Quidditch pitch is long, and her heart paces up with each step Lily takes. She knows what puzzle she is finishing by now, and she knows what piece she is missing, but despite her best efforts, she can't find it.

It bothers her a lot.

No wonder James is mad at her.

She doesn't see him flying in the Quidditch pitch and she is almost going back to the castle when she spots a lonely figure in the benches. She would recognize that messy hair anywhere, so she ventures the stairs to reach him.

James doesn’t turn to look at her, not even when the benches crack under her weight, doesn’t blink when she sits next to him and she wonders if he could recognize her from a distance as well.

“No more flying for today?” she asks, her voice light, eyeing the broomstick next to him.

He shrugs. “I didn’t actually fly. Thought about it, but then…” He grabs a bottle on his other side, lifts it in a mock salutation. “Drinking was better.”

And to prove his point, he takes a generous sip of the bottle.

“Getting drunk alone? That is just sad, Potter.”

There is a soft sight that could be scornful, but just sounds sad. “Tried getting drunk together. Didn’t work for me.”

She swallows dryly. “No, I guess not. I...I really messed that up, didn’t I?”

At this, James finally looks at her. His hazel eyes sweep over her face, in search of something that he doesn’t seem sure about, because he asks: “Did you remember after all?”

There is the faintest hope in his voice and Lily hates herself for being unable to give him the answer she wanted to have. “No.”

“Oh.” He runs his hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opens them, his face shines with guilt and regret. “Look, Evans, there is something—”

“We kissed,” she cuts him off, nodding, knowing it even as her mind is unable to actually grasp that memory.

James tilts his head slightly to the side and Lily wonders if he did the same while they were kissing. She has been wondering a lot these days, hating that blank space in her mind that she wishes more than anything she could fill.

“We did,” he admits, but there is none of the particular happiness Lily would associate with it. James looks just miserable. “And I am really sorry about it, I didn’t want to take advantage of—”

“You didn’t,” she assures him, fidgeting with her hands, fighting back an urge to just hold his hands.

“You don’t even remember it, Lily.”

“I remember enough. I remember telling you how I felt.”

“That was the firewhiskey talking, not—”

“The firewhiskey gave me courage, not words. What I felt—what I feel—had nothing to do with how much I drank.”

He shakes his head stubbornly. “Still, I should have known better. I shouldn’t have—”

“There is only one thing I’m truly sorry, James. And that’s for promising you I would remember and then—”

“You didn’t.”

“I broke my word,” she agrees, sorrowful. “Can… can you forgive me for that?”

He blinks, staring at her for a long minute before grabbing the bottle next to him and reading the label. “Maybe there is some kind of insanity essence here.”

“What?”

“I can’t believe you’re saying you’re sorry for forgetting it, not for what we did. I spent this whole week feeling horrible for leading you—”

“Is it so hard to believe that I fancy you?”

His gaze strays back to her.

“It depends. What have you drunk today?”

Lily smiles softly. “I haven’t had a sip of alcohol today.” She hesitates a second before sliding on the bench, closer to him. “I can let you get close to check if you want.”

James almost smiles too. “I’ll trust your word.”

“James—” she touches his hand now, watching him carefully for any sign he is repelled by her, but she finds none. His eyes fall to her hand and he watches with fascination as her hand traces his fingers, climbs over his arm, reaches his neck. She touches his hair, sees him shuddering under her touch; his skin is warm with the alcohol. “I really like you. And I would very much like to kiss you again for the first time.”

He sighs, his smile tender now. Lily expects him to move even closer, to close that annoying breach between them, but instead all he does is hold her hand, leaning into it and closing his eyes, before he kisses softly her wrist, over her pulse. His lips are warm.

When he opens his eyes, James just shakes his head. “I’m seeing you double and while it’s actually very nice seeing two Lily Evans, I think I should go.”

“Sure,” she says, hoping to not betray her disappointment. He rises, swinging dangerously on the spot, and she takes a step closer. “Help?” she offers.

James nods, accepting when Lily places her arm around his waist, steadying him.

The walk back to the castle is silent, but Lily doesn’t think it’s heavy. For all his silence, James seems to be only thoughtful. They ignore everyone else’s look and because he doesn’t complain, she helps him get back all the way to his dorm, until he is sitting on his bed.

James holds her hand as she is turning to leave him alone. His eyes are burning, but if anything, he looks only resolute.

“Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?”

“Is this alcohol talking?” she asks teasingly. He grins.

“You know, alcohol gives courage, not—”

“Not words,” she finishes for him. “I’d love to go with you. With one condition.”

“I don’t throw up over you right now?”

Lily laughs. “That would be nice, yeah, but actually, I would reinforce a non-alcohol policy.”

“Only butterbeer,” he agrees, beaming. And then before she can say anything, he approaches her face, tugs strands of her hair behind her ear and places a kiss at her cheek, his lips barely touching the corner of hers.

For the warmth that spreads from where his lips touch her down her body, Lily feels drunk again.

“See you tomorrow, Evans,” says James, laying more comfortably against the pillow in his bed, lips curved into a hopeful smile.

“I’ll wait for you with a Hangover Potion,” she promises him, watching him fondly.

“And that’s why I love you,” he whispers, sighing, and he closes his eyes, falling into a quick sleep.

Courage, she thinks. Not words.

Hopefully he will remember this little declaration the next day.

#Jily #Sentence Starter Prompts #Jily Fanfiction #There are so many lovely fics with tipsy Lily #and James is all chivalrous #wanted to write one where things happen #but not in the traditional way #well let me know what you think

[yostresswritinggirl]

Request: hello!! i rlly like your works, and as someone poly myself i was really happy to see your venti x reader x zhongli one!! your writing is so interesting and immersive, too!! i'd really like to see a xiao x reader x venti, if possible! anything, hc, fic, i don't mind :D i especially cherish the idea of xiaoven being together beforehand and trying to figure out how to proceed together. -🌌 (just in case i decide to drop by ur asks again in the future, haha)

And then that poly fic turned into five requests ahahaha, I'm glad you found and enjoyed that, as my first poly fic uhu. I didn't expect to actually find these kinds of fics interesting, life is wack pfft. With the new trailer up too, this just made it more appropriate! I hope you like it!

Drifting Blooms

Poly Xiao and Venti falling in love with the Reader, and trying to establish a relationship with you. (masterlist)

Beforehand

The first person you met was Venti when you crossed paths during one of his escapades to Wangshu Inn. After visiting his lover, he then wanted to visit his old friend and passed you in the middle of the bridge.

You smelled of a thousand flowers mixed into a single perfume, and despite the many scents, it wasn't pungent or intrusive. It was... comforting, intoxicating. He stopped in his steps while you continued your path to the Inn.

Before that chance encounter, you were commissioned by Verr to gather multiple scented flowers for a mass floral change around the Inn. While your messenger bag carefully carried and concealed your baggage, the many times you'd sink into the floras had marked your clothing with its many scents.

Venti, intrigued and ecstatic about the discovery would fly back to the architecture to express his findings to Xiao, who was surprised to see him back so quickly. Upon hearing of your person, the yaksha would simply inform him that he's not exactly aware of who you are, but only knows you by scent as well.

He dubbed you the florist, because everytime you appear, the vases would be filled with healthy and blooming ones. Never had he actually put a face to your title.

So like little children, the both of them peered over the railings to watch you down below, conversing with Verr as you present the freshly picked flowers bundled in your arms. From this distance, the smell still winds up to find their nostrils, making them inhale as the calming effect takes place once more.

You looked disheveled yet still composed, a glaze lily you particularly liked tucked behind both your ears. And Xiao notices the huge claymore clinging to your back, a full head taller than yours.

Verr asks you to bring it to the balcony where it would be arranged as all the vases had been vacated there for drying, and when you looked up upon the mention of the higher floor, your eyes widen upon meeting two pairs of bright tantalizing orbs.

While the beholder of the amber ones pointedly avoided your gaze right after, the teal ones smiled through his eyes, waving at you enthusiastically. You returned the smile softly before you started making your way over where they are.

The stronger the scent comes, the more overwhelming it pierces through them both. It was distracting in the best way, minds cleared as they relished under the atmosphere the concoction of sweetness it produced. To the yaksha, he was a bit dizzy, tipsy even as his mind floats. And to Venti, it reminded him of home and the breeze the thousand winds carried with him when he was but a sprite.

When you placed down the flowers by the stone rock, you realized that they were standing idly by you in a respectable yet still close distance. They both realized how it clings to you, and you were forced to stay a little longer as Venti chatted you up to make you linger while the other male chose to hang back where he can overlook the Marsh.

They were both charming despite the other's cold exterior, carrying with them their own sense of elegance and beauty. Is it so wrong to like them despite their already existing relationship? You kept to yourself with a blush at the scandalous thought, congratulating them before bidding your farewell.

When you left, the comfort and warmth took off with you. They were both frenzied and are addicted to it, as if you had marked them so violently. No other flower, not even hundreds, can make their hearts both calm and flutter like you do.

Cultivation

Since then, Venti had been visiting frequently and lingering much longer than usual. Xiao would question it at first until he realized the way the Archon seemed very curious of your presence, drifting over to you or dividing his attention when you came into vicinity.

It wasn't hard to miss with the flowery scented aura you carry, your continuous commission with floras had the smell permanently stuck to your adventuring attire. That or you seem to be using a floral detergent for your laundry too.

Once, you've accidentally left an article of clothing by the balcony in your hurry, whether it be a scarf or handkerchief it was easy to miss. And the bard had noticed the discarded garment a bit too late. Is that why your scent lingered despite the fact that you had withdrawn for the night? Xiao keeps it with him to return the next time you came along.

That night, he realized the following night after you received your missing item, was a rare moment of peace with the voices for once quieted down without the help of Venti's songs.

Upon this discovery it would then be him doing the investigation, the curiousity, he'd be more approachable and less guarded. Somehow he had forgotten how normal mortals were affected by their energy but it would seem it isn't that harmful now than it used to before.

One day, they most likely ended up talking about you to each other in passing conversation, and when Venti teased about the idea of them being infatuated to you... they held a pregnant pause at the sudden realization, of the weird intoxication and the similar yearning.

At first they'd be ashamed of the thought that they came to fancy another person when they were already in an existing and steady relationship. But the thought seemed to just be more enticing knowing that the other feels the same way, why be shy over something that you both feel anyways? And besides, humans also partake in far intense concepts of romances.

But it doesn't really start there, it takes them a little more before they finally realized that another one (especially the likes of you) can easily fit in their daily lives. Now the question is, would you wish to be in between two immortals?

Would THEY be willing to invest in a mortal that would one day be engraved as nothing but a painful memory? That they can never revert back to?

Until they realized the capabilities of adeptal energy.

The Grand Plan

The duo does their best to fall into steps over your humane life, understanding you beyond your simple presence, as they continue to soak up the ecstacy. Like two moths drawn to the flame, the citizens around you can see the dynamic. Even before you three's relationship starts, the rumors had spread into established truth. One you were perfectly unaware of.

It was a painful game of tug of war. They would strive for progress before getting pulled back again, still unsure of their decisions and trying to figure it out as they go.

What made them finally pull you into their world of love? Well, cliché as it is, it was their own greed and jealousy upon the sight of other beings of the mortal realm seemingly gravitating to your form everytime. The essence of flowers had imprinted itself to many people that linger around you, pulling them in the same way the two of them had been.

Before the potential suitors could come within your personal space, Venti's arm wraps itself around your waist as he pulls you back into the balcony with surprising strength. And the entrance would be shut as Xiao kicks out the person trying to take your hand.

Next thing you know, you're squeezed in between two twink- cute guys that desperately clings to what they can get hold of you. Your presence may be overwhelming, but you're already so dizzy from the bouts of emotions racing through your mind at the predicament you find yourself in.

It's time to decide if you want in or not.

NSFW bonus: When on a three way, Venti is in front while Xiao is behind, both of them however occupy the same hole.

@kookieyachi @ellitx @struggljng @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #xiao x Reader #venti x reader #venti x xiao #exile.goblet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #poly #gender neutral

[jilyarchive]

what are the admins comfort fics rn?

This is only one admins comfort fics but the other admins can add as I'm sure there are so many others!

My go to comfort fic is:

Title: Boyfriend Author: Molly Raesly Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Humour Chapters: 17 Word Count: 136,472 Summary: Potter was going to say that he wasn’t my boyfriend. I couldn’t let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn’t tell her the truth. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of. I kissed him.

And the following are just as wonderful and fluffy/funny!

Title: Sweeten the Deal Author: mppmaraudergirl Rating: M Genre(s): Fluff Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,523 Summary: “Don’t you think it’s time you started calling me Lily? We’ve been…friends all year, haven’t we?” He swallows. “I’ve grown rather fond of Evans over the years. Hard habit to kick.” “What if I sweeten the deal?”

Title: Queen of the Crunk Author: Lobotomised Rating: T Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 19 Word Count: 78,241 Summary: He asked her to Hogsmeade one hundred and thirty seven times. Then he stopped. And now Lily Evans has to battle her own fat mouth and mad head and the probability that number one hundred and thirty eight’s going to have to be on her if she wants James Potter to ever smile her way again. Oh dear.

Title: Hogsmeade Author: lizardcookie Rating: G Genre(s): Romance, Humour Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,308 Summary: It’s the last Hogsmeade weekend of Sixth Year, and Lily Evans is totally fine with how things worked out. She’s definitely okay with the fact that her date never showed up (which is definitely unrelated to the amount of drinks she’s downed), and she is totally, totally fine with the fact that James Potter must be having a better time than her (which is also unrelated to the amount of drinks she’s downed).

Title: “truth, i fancy you. dare, go out with me.” Author: crimson_snitch Rating: T Genre(s): Fluff, Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: ~ Summary: classic ‘accidental’ brush and tipsy marauders; drinking games galore

Title: Two Sides of the Same Coin Author: GhostofBambi Rating: T Genre: Romance, Fluff Chapters: 2 Word Count: 7686 Summary: There are those who claim that Lily Evans couldn’t possibly love James Potter as much as he loves her - including, on occasion, James Potter himself - but they couldn’t be more wrong if they claimed that the moon was made of cheese.

Title: unless you want to come along? Author: sunshine-marauders Rating: T Genre(s): Humour, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,839 Summary: There’s a definite certainty that you feel when you lay your eyes upon something so chilling you can feel the horror reverberating in your bones. From the moment it graces your vision, you know it’ll haunt you at night when you’ve fallen asleep, echoing through your dreams and your nightmares. It’s the sort of sight that makes you shudder unconsciously, turn away automatically, and fervently pray you can forget someday. That’s how Lily Evans feels when she sees Mr. Whalenheimersheim for the first time.

Title: From the Edge Author: ClaudiaWrites Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Angst Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6,939 Summary: A three-hour-long detention. A barrage of unspilled words. A kiss that has remained unacknowledged. Until now.

#fave #faves #fic request #are these what you meant??? i hope so #they are what i read if i just want to snuggle up and feel fuzzy good feelings :) #anonymous #fluff #comfort fics

[lovely-jily]

"well my legs are jello, so i'd have to disagree"

ok this definitely is no where close to my best writing, i originally wrote it when i was like 15 and i didn't want to start over so i did a shitty revision job. regardless, please enjoy this slightly shitty fic :)

"Alright, everyone. Let's take a shot to start us off," Sirius held up the bottle of firewhisky. It was another Friday night, and tonight the James and Lily got their friends together for a classic game of truth or dare. However, in their version, you take a shot of firewhisky for every dare, and for every truth, a person drinks a little bit of veritaserum, the truth potion. It was brewed by Remus and Sirius (who were quite brilliant if they actually applied themselves to their work), and the ingredients were stolen by none other than Mary and Marlene. James had offered to go with Lily to do it under the cloak, but Lily swore she would never go under that thing with him. Sirius managed to bewitch the potion so that it only lasted a couple minutes, just long enough to answer the truth.

It was the middle of their sixth year, and Lily and James had gotten to the point where they got along quite well, both stubborn and oblivious enough to refuse to think about the apparent tension and feelings between them. Lily was refusing to admit that she was attracted to the git, much less falling for him, and James didn't think that she would ever like him in that way. Regardless, everyone knew that they were bound to get together, and when they did, it would be a historically firey moment.

The group did as they were told, passing the bottle around the circle and taking small swigs. James tried to ignore how Lily's skin glowed in the firelight, and Lily tried to ignore how James's hands looked with the bottle in them.

"First off- James," Sirius faced the boy, who messed up his hair as per usual, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," James said dauntingly, leaning towards Sirius and smirking.

"Okay. Kiss Dorcus," Sirius said, handing James the bottle.

James took a swift swig, and Lily felt both his and Dorcus's nervous eyes on her. Set in her ways of defiance, Lily gave the subtlest of nods to Dorcus to give her permission and then tried her hardest to fight off the feelings of jealousy as James's hand reached Dorcus's cheek, kissing her softly. After a couple seconds, James pulled away and looked again at Lily, whose face seemed a little too red for someone who "wasn't interested in the slightest for a single date, you insufferable twat." Regardless, James smirked at the idea that Lily didn't seem to like him kissing other girls. Maybe his friends were a bit right after all...

"I've just about kissed everyone here now," James said pridefully. Of course, he was proud of something like that.

"Of course you have" Lily rolled her eyes, feeling the slight buzz of firewhisky.

"Yeah, we kissed one time," Sirius smirked as the boys laughed, "It was last year after a gaome. Best day of my life."

"And we accidentally kissed, so I don't think it even counts," Peter ran a hand through his blond hair.

"He came out of nowhere for ours. I was giving him an answer, and suddenly his lips were on mine," Remus shrugged, a soft smirk on his face.

"I got excited. We had been working on a figured out a terribly difficult problem in Arithmancy," James said, a happy smile on his face. James was many things: annoying, obnoxious, prideful, but one thing that Lily really admired about him was how much he loved all of his friends. He was insanely loyal and treated them like family. She knew he would die for them, and Lily couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be someone that James would die for.

"Yeah, I'm a super good kisser in case anyone was wondering," James joked as he looked at Lily, who failed miserably at hiding her blush.

"I think it's your turn to ask," Lily said, trying to fight the intense attraction she felt at that moment. As if it didn't keep her up at night and distracted during her classes...

"Alright. Truth or dare, Lily," James said, winking at her, "I can think of a few good dares."

"Looks like I'll have to pick truth then," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"You're no fun," Mary elbowed her gently.

Everyone laughed, Lily included. She then sighed, grabbed the bottle of veritaserum and took a shot, the honey tasting liquid burning her throat slightly.

"Who's the most attractive one here?" James asked after she swallowed, Besides Pete, of course."

"Oh James, we all know I'm the prettiest here," said a very offended looking Sirius.

"James," Lily sputtered out uncontrollably and then immediately blushed.

Everyone had a physical reaction to what she said, whether it was Marlene's giggle, Sirius's gregarious laughter, or Mary's "Oh, shit!" Everyone was shocked at the sound of James's name coming from her mouth, including Lily herself. James was smirking, his suspicions slightly confirmed. While this didn't mean that she liked him, per se, it at least told that she enjoyed looking at him a little bit. That was a step in the right direction.

"Shit," she said, still blushing, "You're never gonna let me forget that I told you how hot you are."

This got a loud roar from everyone, and James smiled wide, "What can I say, Evans, I can't help it. You know it's quite difficult being this sexy all the time. Don't even get me started on everyone who just uses me for my insanely hot bod-"

"Shut up," she said, glaring at him, the veritaserum was beginning to wear off, but not before her following sentence, "Just because you are insanely attractive does not mean that I like you at all. You're still insanely difficult to be around."

"Well, you admitted you're attracted to me so I think we should give you veritaserum more often," James winked at her.

"Alright, let's keep this moving," Peter said, clearly as over this situation as Lily was.

Lily inhaled and then looked at Mary, "Truth or dare?"

"Hmm, I think we have far too much sexual tension in this room for me to be comfortable doing a dare, so," Mary smiled, "I pick truth for my own dignity."

"You're boring," Marlene snickered as everyone laughed.

"I'd rather be boring than have to snog any of these idiots."

"That's rude," Remus said, trying to hide his smirk as he and the rest of the boys tried their best to show their offence. The looks of pouting and hurt went right over Mary and Lily's head, though.

Lily and Mary giggled as she asked her if Mary had ever had a sex dream about anyone. Mary laughed, saying that she, Sirius, and Dorcus had a threesome in her dreams the other night. Sirius shuddered, saying that there were "too many boobs" involved.

After a few more rounds, Sirius was dared to snog Lily.

So that is how she ended up straddling Sirius on the couch, giggling like a maniac. She was feeling slightly tipsy, and something in her was excited at the idea of maybe making James a little jealous.

"Can I be honest with you?" Sirius whispered in her ear.

"Of course, Pads," She smiled. While Sirius was just as obnoxious as James was, she honestly enjoyed his company. She had gotten to know him as he usually hung out with Remus as they worked on Prefect paperwork. He had a sweet side that he rarely showed.

"Clearly, I don't even like women. I'm only doing this in hopes that you and James stop dancing around each other and just fuck or something," He smirked, still whispering.

Lily glanced over at James, who was biting his lips, scowling slightly. So he was jealous already, and they hadn't even kissed yet. Good to know.

"I doubt that this will work if that's what you're trying to achieve," She looked at him.

He shrugged, "Worth a shot. Besides, I have a theory that we're the best kissers here, so how about we find out?"

"Sounds great to me," She said as she leaned in, her lips softly to his. Sirius's hand found its way to her lower back, the other on her jaw. She felt his tongue tap her bottom lip, and she copied his motion, her hands entangled in his hair.

His hands traced down her spine and on her waist as she pulled him closer. He kissed down her jaw and neck, and she caught a glimpse of James halfway across the room, frowning and looking at his hands. While Lily was kissing Sirius, all she could think about was his best friend. About how it would feel to run her hands through his hair and down his back. How his stubble would feel against her skin. She imagined his hands on her body-

This was ridiculous. Lily forced herself to focus on what was happening currently instead of daydreaming about that idiot.

Sirius's lips returned to her's, and she felt his grip tighten as the kiss turned more passionate. He moved his hand down her waist and to her bare thigh, touching and squeezing as he went. She moved her hands from his hair to his ears and jaw, feeling as they rhythmically moved together, tongues slightly teasing here and there. He kept one hand on her thigh and then moved the other from her waist to her butt, squeezing softly and then back up to her thigh, causing a laugh from both of them.

"Did you like that?" Lily asked, smirking.

"You got quite the ass, Evans," Sirius giggled.

They walked back to the circle, both still laughing. James wouldn't meet her eye, as the fire next to him was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

"I was too sober for that," Lily smiled and took another swig of the drink.

"Agreed," Sirius said as she handed him the bottle and took a drink. As he exhaled, he turned to James, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said, looking a little annoyed still. While he didn't like what Sirius did, he knew that it was an attempt to get him to act on his feelings with Lily.

"Take off Lily's shirt," Sirius said, smirking before adding, "But do it as seductively as you can."

The group giggled and gasped while Lily's whole body heated up, "why am I getting brought into all of these?"

"You can say no," Dorcus took another shot of firewhisky.

"Well, I didn't say that I didn't want to," Lily mumbled slightly and stood up. She watched James take another shot and then walk over to her, swallowing to try to hide his nervousness.

"How about this," he grabbed her biceps and guided her to the corner of the room. Her back hit the wall, and their faces were close, less than an inch apart, and the smell of firewhisky and cologne filled Lily's nostrils. Feeling his hot breath on her lips made her feel things she both wanted and didn't want at the same time. Lily focused her eyes on the table in front of her. This was where she usually sat to do her homework or Prefect paperwork.

"This place seems familiar, doesn't it?" James whispered as his cold hands traced her biceps, making her hot skin even hotter. Although he was doing well covering it, his hands were shaking slightly. The only thing separating skin on skin contact was a small, thin layer of Lily's shirt sleeve, rolled to the elbows like James's.

Lily looked up at the ceiling. He was too much of a temptation, and looking at him, particularly his lips, would make her want for him grow exponentially, and it was already hard enough to fight her feelings off without inhaling his cologne and breath.

"This is where I do my Prefect paperwork with Remus."

"Right. And here's my plan," James said, still whispering as he moved his mouth to her ear, causing chills to cascade down her body, "From now on, every time you sit down to do your work, you'll look at the exact spot that I made you want me."

Lily swallowed as she moved her head straight forward, inhaling as his hands moved to her waist and hooked in the belt loops of her skirt, "How do you know that I'd want you? Or that this memory could possibly hinder my focus on my work?" she asked.

"Because now, every time you sit down to work here, you'll start to think of me instead," he rubbed his nose behind her ear as he slowly untucked her shirt, "and I think it's my turn to act as a distraction now."

Her breath hitched as he moved his hands onto her bare waist. They were calloused and traced their way from her stomach to her lower back repeatedly.

"Also," he added, inhaling and bringing his face in front of hers again, his voice dropping its seductive tone, "I'm sorry."

"S-sorry?" Lily sputtered. It was harder and harder to remember how to breathe normally, how to think. She knew he was right, partly. Lately, whenever she looked at him, she was starting to realize how he had matured. How much he cared about people and how much she admired him. She hated change, and perhaps that's why she hated how she felt about him. He was already enough of a distraction, and so this moment was only going to make it worse.

He brought his hands out from under her shirt to her hips. She was fighting to not reflect how she was feeling inside, fighting to keep herself from closing her eyes and biting her lip, to release under his grasp or run her hands over his body. She was fighting the instinct to release her head back and exhale harshly.

"I don't want you to feel objectified. I would rather do something like this at a time where we both wanted it," James said, moving his head to the crook of her shoulder and then to her ear again, "when it's not really forced."

"Well," Lily bit her lip. She was caving. James knew how to tease a girl, "Who says I don't want this?"

She didn't have much time to wonder if that was a good or bad decision to say what she just said. She felt James stop breathing on her ear before the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I knew it."

He softly nibbled her ear, moving a hand up to her hair, moving it out of the way as he started planting small butterfly kisses down her neck. She tightly gripped her skirt, forcing her hands to stay stuck to her side.

"Evans," his kisses turned longer, more passionate, and his hand was on her neck, gripping her hair and the other on her waist. She closed her eyes, fought to breathe and then bit her mouth shut, "You're a bit tense."

"O-oh?" She stuttered as his hand moved from her hair to her jaw.

He nibbled the skin at the bottom of her neck, near the front of her shirt.

"And we haven't even gotten close to what the dare was actually about."

She had forgotten entirely about the dare. She also had forgotten there was a small group across the room; it felt like they were the only two people left in the world. She often felt that way with James.

Her hands were clinging to her skirt for dear life, knowing that if they were released for a second, they would be tangled in his brown curls.

"Well, this is just-" She inhaled every few words, "This is just basic- basic human instinct."

James moved his hand from her hip to her bare waist again, squeezing softly and making her fists clench tighter, "Oh, for sure. nothing else."

She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply as he moved his mouth to the top button, undoing it with his teeth and then kissing her chest. He rubbed his nose up her neck as she felt his hot breath breathe against her ear.

"Fuck it," she said, releasing her skirt and bringing her hands to his muscular shoulders, feeling one of the many benefits that quidditch brought James. She really didn't stand a chance resisting him in the first place and honestly felt proud that she had pushed through for that long.

"Hh, hey," he whispered and nibbled her ear again, making her shudder in his grasp. He snaked his hand from her waist over the top of her shirt and undid the second button, "I think we should play this more often."

"I'm sure you do," Lily ran a hand to his messy hair, grabbing a fist full and then released after a second. Her fingers played with his curls while the other moved to his broad back.

He kissed down her neck again, softly nibbling here and there as he made his way to the third button. As his arms moved to her shoulders, he again undid the button with his teeth, "I also haven't done this before, so I hope you know that I'm feeling pretty proud of myself."

"You're pretty talkative," Lily replied. The third button was undone, and he kissed the top of her cleavage, making her instinctively grip his shirt and hair.

"And you're pretty hot," he brought his face close to hers, and they looked at each other. They were both sticky with sweat and had pink faces that showed how quite excited they were. Lily's lip was in between her teeth, and she brought her hand out of his hair and to his neck.

"You're a bit tense, Potter," she joked as she felt his arm muscles, feeling how nervous he actually was, although she found it quite cute.

"Well, my legs are jello, so I would have to say that I disagree," James said, smiling. He brought his face back to behind her ear. His hands found their way to her neck and thigh, softly massaging each.

Lily chuckled as he ducked down, kissing her chest and undoing another button, but instead of bringing his mouth to her skin, which was more cleavage, he moved on to the next, crouching down slightly. She brought her hands to his hair, both of them getting tangled in his messy brown mop. She figured that since her bra was beginning to be exposed, he wanted to stay as respectful as possible. Her stomach felt a flutter at that thought. He respected her enough to not use her for her body... While that shouldn't be such the big deal that it was, she still smiled at it.

He moved his way down, undoing every button as he went. As he reached the bottom, he brought both of his hands to her waist, making her breath hitch as his cold skin touched her sticky skin. He planted a small kiss just above her belly button, then slowly straightened up, eyes closed as his nose and forehead never broke contact with her skin.

When his face was close to hers, she moved her hands from his hair to his neck. His lips were parted slightly, and her lips tingled as his hot breath hit them.

"Lily," he breathed softly.

Her breath hitched, and her stomach twisted when he said her name. This was a normal reaction when he called her by her first name anyway, as it was more sincere; however, when he said her name like that...

"Y-Yes?" she responded, closing her eyes. Her fingers softly played with his hair.

"You are so beautiful."

The moment those words breathed onto Lily's lips, it felt like everything stopped. Time, her intense heartbeat, her breathing. The only thing she could do was smile softly and put one of her hands on his cheek. His hands felt up her bare skin, over her bra and chest before going over her shoulders, sliding under her shirt. Finally sliding her shirt off her shoulders and arms and onto the floor.

She moved her head into the crease of his neck, not surprised at her feeling of disappointment, "I guess we need to return to everyone else now."

"Oh yeah," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "I completely forgot about them."

#jily #jily fic #james potter and lily evans #maruaders #maruaders fic #wolfstar #james x lily #lily x james #harry potter #jily tension #i love you all #jily fan fiction #marauders fanfiction #jily fanfiction

[sunshinemarauder]

unless you wanna come along? - fic

for @pottinglilies!!! i aspire to have as many crazy adventures as you :')

There’s a definite certainty that you feel when you lay your eyes upon something so chilling you can feel the horror reverberating in your bones. From the moment it graces your vision, you know it’ll haunt you at night when you’ve fallen asleep, echoing through your dreams and your nightmares. It’s the sort of sight that makes you shudder unconsciously, turn away automatically, and fervently pray you can forget someday.

That’s how Lily Evans feels when she sees Mr. Whalenheimersheim for the first time.

(How does she know his name? There’s a sign. It says Say ALOHA to the new Mr. Whalenheimersheim, only at the bar TODAY! There are colorful leis draped around it.)

She stares up at the inflatable killer whale with disgust in her eyes, wondering why there’s not one Mr. Whalenheimersheim, but two.

Although, that may be because she’s drunk.

Either way, she immediately decides that Mr. Whalenheimersheim has committed crimes against humanity by existing with those beady eyes and ugly flappers of his, and that it’s her duty as a loyal member of — she sneaks a quick glance at the neon sign hanging above the bar — Big Island Beasties — to rid the world of this monstrosity.

And that’s why, two minutes later, she’s looking down from her perch on top of a table with the inflatable whale tucked under her arm, and waves tipsily to a man with messy hair standing under her.

“Hello,” she says sweetly, although it comes out slurred.

The man, she notes with interest, is really, really attractive. In fact, he’s exactly her type, with the dorky glasses and ruffled hair and untucked shirt.

She considers jumping down from the table to ask, politely, to kiss him, but quickly decides against it. After all, Mr. Whalenheimersheim must be held accountable for his despicability.

Though, she thinks she could spare a stop at his table once the evil whale has been taken care of.

“You took the whale!” he blurts out, looking so offended that she almost — almost — considers dropping Mr. Whalenheimersheim to give him a hug. The poor bloke sure seems to need it.

“I did,” she says proudly.

“But he’s Mabel’s!” he cries.

If she were sober, Lily would have questioned him; who was Mabel? Why on earth did she own a beady-eyed, monstrous inflatable orca?

But, as it happened, Lily was drunk, and such nuances escaped her comprehension abilities.

“No, he’s Satan’s,” she snarks instead, clutching Mr. Whalenheimersheim to her chest.

The man gasps and shakes his head adamantly. “I was reluctant to do this at first, because you’re gorgeous... but I must defend the honor of old ladies who can’t do this themselves!”

For a moment she’s too surprised at ‘because you’re gorgeous’ to pay attention... but all of that comes to a screeching halt when he clambers onto the table after her and snatches Mr. Whalenheimersheim from under her nose, only to jump off and take off at a sprint.

She takes a second, just one, to mourn what could have been (a kiss, several more, a night well-spent, she’d get his number, they’d go on a date or two or three or fifteen) before she runs after him with the agility of someone far soberer than she is.

He weaves through the clustered tables and thrumming mass of tipsy adults. She follows, tripping over pulled-out chairs not once or twice but thrice.

“Watch your chairs!” she snaps at a wide-eyed man with purple hair who quickly scrambles out of the way of her path of destruction.

They both comes to a screeching halt in front of a table of three boys, and the gorgeous, traitorous, demon-loving boy hastily shoves Mr. Whalenheimersheim into the hands of a tall, conventionally pretty-looking boy.

“Just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you get a pass for consorting with the devil,” Lily scorns, scoffing at the first man with the messy hair, who her addled brain decides to call Gorgeous Idiot. If sober Lily could see her now, she would be quaking.

Gorgeous Idiot smirks (oh, fuck me, she thinks dumbly) and elbows the pretty boy next to him, who is now clutching Mr. Whalenheimersheim with alarming protectiveness (her brain has seemingly exhausted its creative juices in clever one-liners, and decides to call him Pretty Boy).

“Did you hear that? She called me hot.”

Pretty Boy rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I heard.”

Lily grimaces, eyeing Mr. Whalenheimersheim with distaste. “An attractive body doesn’t make up for an ugly personality. And anyone who thinks this freak is deserving of anything less than burning at the stake is hideous to me.”

Gorgeous Boy shakes his head in disappointment. “I thought you’d be better than this, love. Tubby is Mabel’s.”

“Tubby?” she exclaims, horrified. “And who the fuck is Mabel?”

“Tubby is the orca’s name,” Gorgeous Boy says, taken aback. “And Mabel is the old lady who he belongs to!”

“His name is Mr. Whalenheimersheim,” Lily says firmly. “And he belongs to Satan.”

The man sputters. “Mr. what? And he most definitely belongs to Mabel! She was telling us all about Tubby when we went to her table!”

Lily turns up her nose. “You can hand him over peacefully, or we can deal with this the hard way.”

A secret thrill runs up her spine; she’s always wanted to say, or we can deal with this the hard way. Lily makes a mental note to check it off her bucket list the next chance she gets.

Gorgeous Boy stares at her like she’s grown two heads. If she has, it’s the alcohol. Probably.

“That is not happening,” he says firmly.

And that’s how, ten minutes later, Mr. Whalenheimersheim ends up squished under Lily’s seat, flanked on both sides by her friends Agatha and Marly.

When Pretty Boy, Gorgeous Boy, and the other two (she dubs them Scar Boy and Short Boy) follow, eyeing the orca sneakily, the girls are prepared.

“Lily,” Agatha mutters, “Do we have to fight about this godawful whale? Can’t we just enjoy ourselves?”

Lily ignores her; Agatha’s far too sober to be taken seriously.

“Oh, look at them!” Marly breathes, staring at the boys. “They’re so hot.”

Immediately, Lily feels a flare of jealousy. Gorgeous Boy may not be hers, due to the ongoing war involving one Mr. Whalenheimersheim, but she sure as hell isn’t letting Marlene take him.

“Stay away from the one with the bad hair,” Lily instructs, and it’s a testament to Marly’s drunkenness that her possessiveness isn’t made fun of. Instead, Marly nods seriously and goes back to staring at the other guys.

“Girls!” Gorgeous Boy calls, his smirk sending flutters up her smile. “Just give Tubby back and we can pretend this never happened! I’m sure Mabel wouldn’t mind.”

“Tubby?” Marly and Agatha say at the same time, incredulous.

“It’s a horrible name,” Lily agrees, nodding sagely. Agatha shudders.

“Right, no way,” Marly decides. “This hell spawned killer whale is not named Tubby.”

Scar Boy frowns. “He most definitely is. Mabel told us.”

“Who’s Mabel?” the girls chorus at the same time, and Lily doesn’t bother smothering her satisfied smirk. She knew she could count on her friends to back her up.

“The old lady!” Short Boy pipes up, which explains absolutely nothing.

“You’re not getting Mr. Whalenheimersheim back, ever,” Lily says nastily.

The four men gasp at the same time, synchronized. She hates to admit it, but it is mildly impressive.

Just as Lily’s opening her mouth to fling another jeer at them, a loud crash interrupts her thought process, and all seven of their heads snap to stare at the interruption.

“What the hell is going on here!” a voice exclaims, agitated. The voice belongs to a middle-aged white man wearing a Hawaiian-patterned shirt and ugly black sunglasses on his bald head. There’s a small sign fixed to his shirt, but Lily is too drunk to decipher what it reads.

“An offering to Satan,” she supplies at the same time that Gorgeous Boy says, “They stole an old lady’s whale.”

Looking back, perhaps Lily should have said something more respectable. Oh, well.

“An offering to — what? And — an old lady?” the man cries, wringing his hands. “That’s our mascot, Beastie!”

They all stare at him. For a long moment, there’s nothing but silence.

(Well, other than the loud pop music playing in the background and the hum of everyone else’s chatter and the clinks of silverware and glasses, but that’s irrelevant to Lily’s story.)

Then, chaos.

“He’s your mascot?”

“What the fuck?”

“Mabel was — lying!”

“But he’s abominable!”

“Beastie?!”

Lily, especially, feels like someone shot her in the stomach. Repeatedly. Possibly twelve times, because Mr. Whalenheimersheim’s name is Beastie, which simply cannot be true. The world seems to be spinning around her, which could be attributed to the copious amounts of alcohol consumption, but she chooses to believe it’s because of the raw betrayal she feels.

“But the sign!” she cries, a lightbulb dinging in her head. “It said his name was Mr. Whalenheimersheim!”

The man stares at her with open disgust. “The sign said that our new drink was called the Mr. Whalenheimersheim.”

She opens her mouth, and then closes it dumbly. “Oh.”

“I regret ever opening a bar. Drunk kids are horrible,” the man says nastily, before snatching the inflatable whale from her hands and stomping away.

The momentary silence is broken by the boy with glasses and messy hair, who says, “At least you didn’t fall for some senile old lady’s make-believe?”

Agatha and Marly chuckle, and pat Lily on her shoulder before hopping off the table to go chat with the boys.

Gorgeous Boy walks up to Lily and offers her a tentative grin. He’s still immeasurably attractive.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he says, offering her a hand. “I’m James. And I’ve been calling you that pretty redhead in my head so far, but I’d love to know your real name.”

She laughs, thinking that although Satan’s spawn escaped tonight, perhaps not all hope is lost if she gets to meet a guy with this pretty of a smile.

“Lily,” she says, shaking his head with a wide smile. “Glad you think I’m pretty.”

He laughs (her heart is most definitely not doing backflips right now).

“You know,” James says conversationally, “I feel like I already know you well. But I would love to get to know you better.”

She smirks. “Is that so?”

He eyes her warily, like he’s deciding whether or not she’s likely to bite, and nods. “Yeah. Can I get your number?”

“On one condition,” she says seriously.

“Anything,” he says quickly, before flushing, hand jumping up to his hair. (It shouldn’t be so endearing, but it is.)

“You help me steal back the whale and kill it,” she says seriously.

He blinks at her.

And that’s how, fifteen minutes later, they’re kicked out of Big Island Beasties when the manager finds them holding a pair of scissors above the inflatable killer whale.

At least she has his number now.

#jily fic #james x lily #james potter #lily evans #jily fanfiction #james potter x lily evans #text #drabble #this was so fun to write lol

[jlf23tumble]

Thank you @behindmeday for tagging me! Long-time followers know I'm a total narse, so let's blast our way into Friday night!

1. why did you choose your url?

It's my name, bb!

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have a bunch, and at least one of 'em gets truly vile hate to the point where I have to vet its new followers before blocking them if need be, but yeah, you're looking at the proud owner of a wilde variety of active sides and some dead ones (for now, dot dot dot). I have one that is crazy popular, for some reason!!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Hmmmm, late 2015? Mainly as a lurker, comin' in hot for the Man from UNCLE movie fandom.

4. do you have a queue tag?

Babe, I don't even have a queue, that's how far out of it I am in the tag name for one.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

TMFU fan art, fic, etc., following friends' blogs.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's too perfect on too many levels.

7. why did you choose your header?

I need to update it, but it'll be something similar--I love a good aes header!

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Hoo boy, I wouldn't even know how to check that, but it’s probably my trans flag Chewbaccas from Comic Con! The joy of my life was seeing a kitsch blog I follow pick it up!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Stealing the previous answer: I have zero idea how to check this!

10. how many followers do you have?

More than a thousand, far less than two, they add or drop depending on the hot takes I'm tired or tipsy enough to share on main.

11. how many people do you follow?

A touch over 300

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Of course! I've made MULTIPLE shitposts! They're the pure joy--dare I say, the point!--of tumblr dryer dot com!

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Oh, daily, but in random spurts--my work is all words, most of them very dry, so taking a break to look at pictures mixed with gifs, music, etc., on multiple topics, is an eye balm of the best order.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I've certainly been involved in some indirecting--and a helluva lot of blocking--but no actual jumping-on-posts fights (yet, dot dot dot).

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Haaaaaaaaaaate, my angry baby side will usually refuse to do it just on the "you're not the boss of me" principle.

16. do you like tag games?

Love 'em!

17. do you like ask games?

Me, answering questions about myself? Absolutely!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I have quite a few who are tumblr infamous, which is not quite the same thing. ;)

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Who doesn't? That's the OTHER point of tumblr dryer dot com! I love 'em all!

20. tags?

@little-water-lily, @cobraking, @bobakick, @alienfuckeronmain, @sir-transcelot, @kerasines, @scottspack, @homosociallyyours, @harrysvoice, @clothlog, @sweetestmonotony, @wskysour and anyone else who wants to!

#tag games #honestly i love it when people do these so consider yourself tagged!

[spiltscribbles]

Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚

OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency   that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3

.-

The FIC this HC is from 

.-

So first off some background on his mum in the story 

I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine,  so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!! 

She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh

She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on  when he comes out as gay.

It was 1950  when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side,  she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.

 They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network  was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.

So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in  1955,  subsequent to  Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became  absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely. 

They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).

So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day  for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers.  And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone  by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.

Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.

The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.

Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda. 

There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally  meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking  charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously,  she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst. 

The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement. 

Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.

The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.

But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that  if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled  with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.

It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually  to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!

Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)

It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery  and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.

Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all  under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.

When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE!  And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.

Ok so sadness warning

In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen  scarf that smelt like her perfume.

 It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like  he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.

One night, in late 1979, while  the war was only getting worse and worse—  Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment  that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only  reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.

Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?

Thank you again dear Nonny!!!

Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #MARAUDERS #THE HARRY POTTER SERIES #SIRIUSXREMUS #REMUSXSIRIUS #HEADCANONS #HEADCANONS BY LEN #FIC: MAMA LUPIN IS A BABE

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I'm sorry, I'm tipsy. But I'm absolutely in love with your writing. It gets better with every read through, as I notice things that I hadn't understood fully in the pass before.

I believe I started reading Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus back in 2014?? You had just published the one shot with the Weasley twins talking about Lily. I didn't understand a word you wrote, and thought of it as absurdist humor that amused me, though ultimately made no sense. I followed a few chapters before falling away from the Potter fandom for other pursuits.

I don't know when I returned, but I found Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds and came back to read everything. And suddenly the absurdist humor I remembered wasn't absurd at all??? It was very well written and had an engaging main character who thought in a specific thought pattern? And really Lily wasn't Harry at all; Lily was Lily and I loved her.

I'll admit that I have fallen behind on a few different stories, mainly through inattention and a lack of interest in my old fandoms.

But I wanted to say that I appreciate you. The way you write, the characters you create and mobilize into these borderline ridiculous plotlines out of context, the engaging thought process. I love the way you characterize. The Ring from The Wasteland remains an unparalleled love of mine, in which none other has come to compete with. I've genuinely cried over pieces of your stories, not even just the sad bits. "I'm more than capable of wanting" or something along those lines made me emotional for weeks. I'm sure you probably get this from many people, but I do believe your writing has influenced at least a bit the way I view stories, and the world. 

I've found that I want to be at least half as lovely an author as you, though that means creating more thought processes for background characters to make sure that none are just vehicles for the plot, and that each has a thought process and personality that could be tracked through both the story, and their individual history. I will admit that you have inspired me to return to a love of writing, though I've published or posted none. 

So I wanted to say thank you. And my apologies for the rambling, have a lovely day.

No worries, as I’ve mentioned before, posts like these make my day.

Remember that, from my perspective, I’m writing weirdass fanfiction that nobody else is writing. I sometimes see posts around asking for things like “Can you rec a fic that’s like X by The Carnivorous Muffin?” Sometimes people will have something around, but in truth, what they offer very rarely is the same sort of match as you’d see if someone said, “Hey, rec me Tomarry in the 1940′s where Harry attends Hogwarts.”

I write weird shit, that rarely has anything to do with Harry Potter, often gets deeply philosophical, and take a lot of risks that often gets me not so happy reviewers.

So, it’s always nice to know that people like my work at all, that I made such a profound difference in people’s lives blows my mind and leaves me, frankly, a little awed.

So, yeah, thank you for this post and for letting me know. In turn, I’m glad my work has had such a positive impact on your lie.

#ask #lily and the art of being sisyphus

[anneshirlxy]

AWAE Fic Recs- Full List

Hi! Here is the full list of all the fics I recommend. I will post a more organized way to look at it later tonight, but for now, here are all the fics! On here you can find the author, rating, length (word count and chapter) and a summary directly from ao3. These fics are in no particular order, and everything in italics is my dumb comments! Also, I am hopefully going to keep updating this so please send me fic recs!

Rating Key- G: General Audience, T: Teen and up, M: Mature 

1. Still He Offers the Sea Shell  By: Chash (@ponyregrets) Rating: T Length: 5.1k- 1/1

Summary: Gilbert Blythe is back from his semester abroad, and he wants to meet this Anne Shirley he's heard so much about.

First fic I ever read. A classic modern au (book verse) 

2.Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed  By: Fandom_freakout, vocallywritten Rating: G Length: 8k-2/2

Summary: In a desperate attempt to get Charlie Sloane to leave her alone, Anne posts a notice of her own. Or,Anne and Gilbert abuse the Take Notice board, much to the amusement, and frustration of the people around them.

Best take notice fic ever! Anne and Gilbert get into a take notice board battle and at first, it’s snarky and sarcastic, but then they start complementing each other and it’s beautiful.

3.say my name, don't ever stop  By: anbethmarie Rating: G Length: 13.5k-5/5

Summary: The gossip in Avonlea is insidious, making Gilbert think it's a good idea to initiate a fake courtship of Anne. Anne makes him promise it won't affect their relationship (because, obviously, they're just friends).Plot twist: it affects their relationship.

Also has a sequel you can read it Here

4.Mistletoe Madness By: avonleaace Rating: G Length: 3k- 1/1

Summary: To bring a bit of fun to the classroom on Christmas Eve, Miss Stacey hangs up some mistletoe. Anne and Gilbert have a bet that Gilbert can make it through the day without getting kissed. Will he succeed? cuteness ensues

5.The Secret of Distance  By: Lil_Readhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: T Length: 26k- 7/?

Summary: Anne and Gilbert embark on their journeys, but stay close to each other at heart. Courting across 1000 miles isn't easy, but they're more than willing to step up to the task. (A post s3 story).

I consider this fic canon. This is season 4. 

6.Avonlea's Summer of 1880 Great Game of Capture the Flag! By: christah88 (@christah88) Rating: G Length: 14k- 1/1

Summary: Moody Spurgeon has gathered all the boys in Avonlea between 12 and 18 at the softball diamond for a game of capture the flag. Subterfuge, reconnaissance, undercover missions, and just a dash of chicken-coop-climbing combine to make this a game they will not soon forget. Why? Because Anne Shirley-Cuthbert wants to play, of course, and she demands that the rest of the girls be allowed to play, too.

This one reads like it could be a part of the show. There is also a prequel that you can read Here

7.Limerence By: Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles) Rating: G Length: 12k- 2/2

Summary: Limerence (n) - The state of being infatuated with another person. Gilbert and Anne featuring paint, photography, mutual staring, glitter and a very supportive Diana Barry

8.truth or dare  By: thearkdelinquents Rating: NR Length: 7k-1/1

Summary: “Anne, truth or dare?” Josie smirked at Anne, a devious glint in her eye. Lifting her chin and looking Josie in the eye, Anne chose, “Dare.” She could take whatever Josie had to throw at her.The smirk on Josie’s face grew larger and Anne was sure she had picked the wrong thing. Without breaking eye contact or even taking a second the think about it, Josie said, “I dare you to go behind that door and kiss Gilbert Blythe. On the lips.”

I love the show New Girl with all my heart so I had to put this one.

9.When the Sun Begins to Fall By: megs368 (@onedayiwillflyfree) Rating: G Length: 76k- 13/14

Summary: "Long time no see Carrots."After nine months of studying at The Sorbonne, Gilbert Blythe felt that he was ready for his upcoming graduation and wedding. That is until his brother arrives, informing him his childhood best friend is gravely ill.

this fic hurts you 

10.wishful thinking (mindless dreaming)By: bruadarxch  (@rootedbutfl0wing) Rating: G Length: 12k- 5/5

Summary: “She didn’t mean to, but a comment led to a friend of a friend’s profile and then she sees it. She sees him. Gilbert Blythe. Her old archnemesis turned friend turned... nothing.” Anne is bored for the first time in her life and falls down the Instagram rabbit hole. She finds a familiar face.

Anne finds Gilbert’s Instagram and they end up reconnecting at college and then drama ensues. It’s really cute then it gets kinda sad and angsty and then it’s really cute again. I love it.

11.wonderstruck By: bruadarxch ( @rootedbutfl0wing) Rating: G Length: 14k-4/4

Summary: Delphine Lacroix raves about Miss Shirley and her crazy lessons. Her uncle Gilbert thinks his niece surely has an overactive imagination, but one day he has to pick her up from school and a certain redhead covered in paint from head to toe crashes into him. OR: Gilbert Blythe puts his foot in it when he meets Anne in every universe. Luckily for him, she didn't have any heavy objects around in this one.

Modern au where Anne is Dellies teacher and Gilbert fall head over heels in love with her. Soooo cute, I love. Also, cue Diana berry being the best roommate ever. 

12.Imagining Something Worthwhile By: remylebae (@remylebub) Rating: T Length: 148k-3l/36

Summary: “Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worthwhile”- Anne of Green Gables. 

Anne is struggling through her mid-twenties, living with her two best friends from high school and starting a new job as an eighth grade English teacher. Just as she's starting to figure this whole teaching thing out, she finds an unexpected someone thrust back into her life.

This is the boy I spent 7 hours reading. It’s a modern au where Anne is a struggling teacher and Gilbert is a struggling med student and they fall back in love. Honestly, the best part of the fic is the best friend relationship between Cole, Anne, and Diana. It’s some pretty wholesome and domestic stuff.

13.You're such a big mess (And I love you) By: gayrefrain (@gayrefrain) Rating: T Length: 6k-1/1

Summary: Anne and Jerry get arrested.

This is one of the first fics I ever read and I loved it so much I read it 2 more times. Modern au where Anne and Jerry get arrested, they bicker like siblings and Gilbert is so worried for her!!! It’s a pre-established relationship and it’s so fluffy and cute ahh. An all-time fave.

14.five days of Christmas  By: thearkdelinquents Rating: N/R Length: 4k-1/1

Summary: SHIRBERT SECRET SANTA!!!!

15.Drive Me Crazy By: serendipitous_rambles(@carrotsofavonlea) Rating: G 

Length: 18k-15/15

Summary: Anne Shirley Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe are next door neighbours, but they despise each other. It didn't used to always be this way, in fact at one time they were best friends. But things change following a personal tragedy for Gilbert, and by high school the two are practically strangers. Anne's life seemed to be going well: she was in charge of organising the school Centennial dance, she was accepted into college, and she was dating one of the most handsome boys in school: Roy Gardner. Only he breaks up with her mere weeks before the dance. When Gilbert's girlfriend Winifred also breaks up with him, Anne comes up with a crazy scheme to get their ex's back: pretend to date to make them jealous. Simple right? If only they don't kill each other first...

The modern fake dating au of your dreams. Includes an iconic scene from 10 things I hate about you. 

16.ours are the moments I play in the dark / wild and fluorescent / come home to my heart By: anbethmarie Rating: T Length: 8k-3/3

Summary: Avonlea, August 1914 – England declares war on Germany. Anne Shirley shows up rain-drenched on Gilbert Blythe’s doorstep and learns her fiancé is due to leave for the Western front in a week’s time.All Anne wanted was to have the memory of a few quiet moments alone with Gilbert. The fact that she would get wet through on the way to his house and have to wear his shirt while waiting for her clothes to dry did not enter into her calculations.

This one is basically an episode of a drama tv show and I’m not complaining.  Anne ends up pregnant with Gilbert’s baby and then he goes to war and they lose touch and he doesn’t know he has a child. It’s a whole thing. It’s mostly angst but reunions are chef's kiss (especially ones when they find out their father). 

17.Trippingly, on the tongue By: meals Rating:G Length: 8k-1/1

Summary: Gilbert goes to Paris, Anne goes to Queens, and years later they both return to Avonlea and meet again. They should be older and wiser, but when neither of ever admits to their mistakes and misunderstandings, will they ever sort themselves out?

Such a good season three “what if” fic. I’ve read it so many times and I can’t get tired of it. 

18.shy daydreams & stardust By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: G Length: 16k-3/3

Summary: She can't help how he makes her magic spiral out of control whenever he's around, but maybe she can help him when his own abilities bloom out of nowhere like a lily pad in a teacup. Magic AU!

Anne and Gilbert are both magic and she teaches him about his powers. Very cute!

19.The Post-Exam Ritual of Merriment and Ridiculousness By: wanderinginthewoods  Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Anne, still slightly tipsy, tries to focus as she runs after Gilbert to give him a piece of her mind--but that's not the easiest thing to do when she can barely get her own thoughts in order.

The characterization of Anne drunk is so good and the funniest thing

20.I Belong to You  By: hoddypeak (@shirbertndisney) Rating: T Length: 30k-12/?

Summary: Arranged marriage AU. Anne always wanted to have her own love story, but not one that's decided for her. She doesn't want to fall in love with Gilbert, but after being thrown into many awkward situations with him, the walls around her begin to tumble down. It certainly isn't an easy ride for either of them.

21.Little White Lies… By: writingshirbert Rating: G Length: 16k-10/?

Summary: When Anne agrees to doing Gilbert a favor, she has no idea what she's getting herself into...

A modern fake dating au where Anne and Gilbert are best friends and college roommates that have to pretend to date. Mostly angst so far, but well written. Also, Gilbert seems like a bit of a douche but we will look past that. 

22.All my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling By: moonlightconstellations (@leiaslightsaber) Rating: T Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: Anne realizes she's in love with Gilbert. In typical Anne fashion, she reacts by yelling.

I just really love Anne yelling at Gilbert

 23.Anne of Hogwarts By: serendipitous_rambles (@carrotsofavonlea) Rating: G Length: 24k- 14/14

Summary: Muggleborn Anne couldn't believe her luck when at 11 she is adopted by the Cuthberts, who introduce her to the world of magic and Hogwarts.Her wild imagination gets her into trouble more often than not, but she doesn't let that stop her. She sparks up an academic rivalry with classmate Gilbert Blythe, and finds a kindred spirit in Diana Barry.However it's not all smooth sailing, with trials and tribulations throughout the years as Anne seeks to discover everything Hogwarts has to offer. It may not always be easy, but life at Hogwarts becomes the greatest adventure of Anne's life.

As a potterhead I am required to put one of the best Harry Potter x AWAE fics on here. Also the only one that (in my opinion) gets the sorting right (gryffindor!Anne, Hufflepuff!Gilbert). 

24.This Home is Vast By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordeila) Rating: G Length: 6k-1/1

Summary: Delphine Lacroix wants to write a tale of adventure and romance, so naturally she writes the story of how Uncle Gil and Aunt Anne fell in love.

This one is so creative! Fics starring Dellie? Sign me up 

25.i picture it, soft, and i ache By: boos (@boosfic) Rating: G Length: 12k-1/1

Summary: Anne and Gilbert accidentally end up snowed in at Green Gables

Pure and perfect fluff 

26.the world is brighter than the sun (now that you're here) By: blujamas (@kyleslei) Rating: G Length: 12k-1/1

Summary:  Long-lost family offers Anne Shirley-Cuthbert a chance at education in a prestigious university across the sea. Before she can go, however, there is one last loose end to tie up: Gilbert Blythe.

27.more myself than I am (whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same) By: anbethmarie Rating: G Length: 6k- 2/2

Summary: Anne and Gilbert have not seen each other since the fateful night of the Queen's entrance exams. She assumes he must by now be engaged to Winifred. He still assumes her drunken babbling meant she doesn't care. A chance encounter forces them to revise the truth of these assumptions.

28.a ridge of lighted heath By: peterstank (@peter-stank) Rating: T Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: He’d overheard her talking once with Diana Barry. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but it couldn’t be helped given their proximity. He’d heard it, the bride of adventure, the wife of nature. And how fitting is it that she who has chosen nature as her most fitting suitor is more beautiful than any earthly thing he’s ever known? The freckles on her face are fit to rival all the stars in the sky. Her eyes are oceans overflowing, they are rippling streams and shining waters. She could torch him with her hair and he would happily turn to ashes, to be the Earth, to be loved by her just once.

29.One Iced Green Tea Latte for Ann  By: rosesonraindrops Rating: G Length: 6k-2/2 

Summary: Anne Shirley Cuthbert lives for three things: her family, Diana Barry, and Iced Green Tea Lattes. However, Gilbert Blythe, the barista at Anne and Diana's favorite coffee shop, never seems to spell her name correctly, no matter how many times she's told him the right way to spell it. Or, Diana and Anne get coffee, and Gilbert tries his very best to charm Anne with his latte-making skills.

30,but when he walks in i am loved - i am loved By: nosecoffee (@nose-coffee) Rating: T Length: 24k- 1/1

Summary:“Marry me.” Anne drops a plate. She barely reacts to that - Marilla can berate her later, for now Anne has a very good reason to have broken her expensive china. She whirls on him. Gilbert’s not kneeling or anything. He's just standing there, in her kitchen doorway, with a painfully earnest look on his face. “Are you kidding?” She says, laughing nervously. He shakes his head. 

Fun story: I once spent hours looking for this fic and almost started crying when I didn’t think I could find it. So you know it’s good. 

31. from friends to this (you're the one i want) By: cressisaqueen (@cressisaqueen) Rating: T Length: 4k- 1/1

Summary: new message from 1 (489) 5987 - 2351 

1 (489) 5987 - 2351 [3:29 pm]: hey, it's gilbert blythe from professor stacy's class 

GiLbErT bLyThE [3:30 pm]: when should we meet up to work on the project?

A fic told entirely through text messages! Really creative and good. Paper Rings is my favorite Taylor Swift song, so that also helps. It also has a sequel where Anne and Gilbert get married that you can read Here 

32.Anne of Nova Scotia By: coffee666 (@frappuccinio) Rating: G Length: 32k- 5/?

Summary: In an alternate life, neither Anne nor Gilbert were orphaned. Yet, they still found their way to one another.

I’ve never seen a tag better than “I’m not claiming to know how boats work” 

33.If the Sea Should Part  By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: G Length: 35k-6/6

Summary: Anne finds herself caught up in whirl of romance and adventure after rescuing Dr. Gilbert Blythe from the sea during a storm. She should let him go, but when she finds out Billy Andrews is plotting to take Gilbert's life and estate, she realizes there's nothing that can keep her from protecting him.

34.charity (who is helping who?) By: antspaul Rating: T Length: 10k- 1/1 

Summary: AU in which Anne is a little more poor but just as vivacious while Gilbert is a lot more wealthy and a little more cowardly. 

Kind of a sugar daddy au, but not really. Told through letters which is really cool.

35.i found my voice (in her sweet melodies) By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: G Length: 2k- 1/1 

Summary: Christmas with Gilbert has never been traditional, but it always manages to steal Anne's breath away.

36.Welcome to Toronto By: simonsjumpers Rating: G Length: 13k- 4/4   

Summary: Anne visits Toronto, buys trousers, charms everyone she meets and engages in a book-duel with Gilbert... And Gilbert can't help but, kind-of, accidentally, propose.

A very good awae after season 3 continuation fic. Anne is a complete badass and Gilbert is hopelessly in love with her. 

37.it goes on and on  By: morebooksplease Rating: G  Length: 3k- 1/1 

Summary: in which Gilbert lists all the reasons he loves Anne.

38.bless the broken road (that led me straight to you) By: cornerinthepouringrain Rating: G Length: 3k- 1/1 

Summary: She said she’s never been to the coast, and he volunteered to take her, because he’s an idiot with no filter and because he selfishly, despicably, wants (needs) all of her firsts to be with him. Or Gilbert Blythe decides to take Anne Shirley on a road trip, and hates himself for it.

ON GOD I love this one shot so much!! It’s just Anne and Gilbert on a road trip. It’s Gilbert POV and my man is whipped. After I read this I immediately read it again I love it! 

39.your glow (against the burning embers of my fiery soul) By: abigaylefayth (@pterparkcr) Rating: T Length: 13k- 2/2 

Summary: the enemies to lovers fake dating shirbert au nobody asked for  

Another really good modern fake dating au!!! This author also wrote one of the best awae twitter aus, that you can read Here 

40.Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same By: Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles) Rating: T Length: 1k- 1/1 

Summary: Look, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert wasn't heartbroken. She was, for like a day, but then she had mustered all the power a Marilla glare could contain and got over it. Did she still love Gilbert? Sure. But alas, she was a summer storm, and he a winter sun. In which Anne tries to move on, but a certain hazel eyed boy won't let her.

41.the road not taken By: melissa13 (@annesurelyblythe) Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Years after the events of Season 3, a chance encounter in a bookstore brings Gilbert face-to-face with an old flame causing him to reflect on his new marriage. Features Anne and Gilbert being adorable newlyweds.

Winnies a darling and Gilbert is such a proud husband. When Winfred says “love looks good on you Blythe” l lose my mind 

42.Maybe The Universe Has Other Plans By: Cones_McMurphy Rating: G Length: 2k- 1/1 

Summary: Four times Gilbert Blythe tries to propose to Anne Shirley and fails, and the one time he doesn't try and succeed

This one is actually green gables fables which is a modern au told through vlogs and social media that you can watch on YouTube right now! Anyway, even though it’s not Anne with an e it’s just Gilbert trying to propose to Anne and it’s very cute! 

43.be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)  By: theatrythms (@fairrobb, @smearclouds) Rating: G Length: 5k- 1/1

Summary: (The idea was always, always, always a bad one, but it sounded so romantical, so whimsical; to throw a stunt for all of her friends and get to spend time with Gilbert in the process.) Or; fake-dating, and the aftermath.

44.one look in your eyes and i found my favourite colour  By:  simonsjumper  Rating: G Length: 5k- 3/? 

Summary: au where everyone can only see in black and white until a moment between them and their soulmate triggers colour gradually appearing into both of their worlds (and yes, it happens during dance practice)

45.Of Tongue and Pen By: piperholmes Rating: G Length: 5k- 2/2 

Summary: When Gilbert returns Anne’s pen, he is reminded of what’s important and what it means to live a passionate life. He finally understands he needs to ask the right questions. Now featuring an epilogue!

46.this, and my heart beside By: fruitwhirl (@ametroepya) Rating: G Length: 6k- 1/2 

Summary: It’s three months in Toronto before she runs into him. Or rather, he runs into her. Well, okay, there is very little running involved at all.

Gilbert and Anne becoming friends in Toronto together!

47.Those With Wit and Learning Will Always Find Their Kind(red spirits)

By: WideScopeofImagination Rating: G Length: 126k- 5/7 

Summary: Anne Shirley thinks its a dream beyond her wildest imagination come true when she learns she's a witch and can attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.There are still challenges, of course.Or: How Anne has to keep solving magical disasters with muggle common sense, and finds her kindred spirits along the way

48.all of the dreams that get harder, all of the things that I offer you By: anbethmarie Rating: G Length: 7k-3/3 

Summary: Anne receives proposals of marriage from various and undesirable quarters. Gilbert Blythe naturally happens to stumble upon her immediately afterwards every time.

49.Time and Tide  By: jacksparrow589 (@js589) Rating: G-M Length: 35k- 8 works 

Summary: The Modern AU that nobody wanted and nobody asked for that just keeps on spawning new tales.

This is a series of 8 works (all fantastic) so i just put the entire thing here. Modern au set in college. Check the author's recommended reading order! 

50.a rose amongst thorns  By: not_so_weary_pilgrim Rating: G Length: 7k-3/3 

Summary: Anne swallows, so hard that it hurts. His head is bent over her hand, and she suddenly realizes that with all the growing he’s done in the past year or so the top of his head is an uncommon sight for her. In fact, the last time she saw those dark curls from this vantage point was when he bowed after their dance practice at school.She nearly flinches away from memories of that golden afternoon, when Gilbert’s eyes never left hers, when she was only vaguely aware of anyone else being in the room, when he pulled her closer than the dance required but it still wasn’t close enough.

Anne gets hit on the face and doctor gilbert in action!!!! He is way too worried about her but it’s very cute and well written. 

51.doctor's visit  By: seashel  Rating: G  Length: 1k-1/1 

Summary: turns out, gilbert isn't the only one afraid of needles.

Short modern au where Gilbert takes Anne to the doctors. High key the main reason this fic is on here is because he calls her baby. 

52.Takes the Cake By: bookwormforalways (@bookwormforalways) Rating: T Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Anne and Gilbert, finally happily married, bake a cake to celebrate two months of being married.

53.to look in somebody's eyes, to light up the skies (to open the world and send it reeling)  By: lovishq Rating: G Length: 3k-1/1 

Summary: Anne Shirley's imaginary friends, fanciful names and women carved out of magic and fairytales are remnants of past lives, and they are all drawn to every Gilbert Blythe like moth to a flame. 

Ok, this one is like really cool. It’s this whole idea where Anne and Gilbert keep falling in love in different lifetimes but it’s always tragic until it isn’t. It’s really well written and just cool.

54.I don't have a choice (but I'd still choose you)  By: writergirl8 Rating: T  Length: 6k-1/1 

Summary: Anne knows now what it feels like to have someone looking at you like you are the most beautiful thing in the world.

I had to shorten the summary because its just so long, but basically this is a beautifully written fic that's just shirbert being fluff after season 3

55.everything you wanted, everything you don't  By: theystayalive Rating: G  Length: 2k-1/1  

Summary: And finally, when everything in his life quieted for just a moment, his heart molded his million thoughts into one word: Anne. In which Gilbert finds his way home.

56.that's the kindof love (i've been dreaming of) By: metsuryuogi (@natsujpg) Rating: G Length: 12k-1/1 

Summary: In which Anne and Gilbert spend their first year together, and apart. 

A really cute post season three fic! It also has a sequel that you can read Here

57.A Very Tragic, Romantical Secret (Understanding of a Pre-) Engagement  By: christah8 Rating: G Length: 5k, 1/1 

Summary: Post 3x08 AU where Gilbert avoids Anne for the summer and attends Queens College in the fall.

It's got a scavenger hunt and they are just so cute!

58.A Christmas gift By: writingshirbert Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1  

Summary: Gilbert comes home for Christmas. Set after season 3.

59.The reality of baking Christmas cookies  By: writingshirbert Rating: G Length: 3k-1/1 

Summary: Anne really wants to win the neighbourhood competition over who has the best Christmas decorations, however her neighbour is making it really hard for her to do so. 

60.the one person who makes me feel like i can take a fucking breath ( i can't have without completely destroying you ) By: softmullen Rating: NR Length: 5k-1/1 

Summary: IF THERE WAS ONE thing you needed to know about the cuthbert-baynard family, it was that the two and only children did not get along. and it wasn't the 'not getting along' like constantly arguing, no, they just didn't speak. it was like they absolutely hated each other and no one quite knew why. especially gilbert blythe, who had been best friends with jerry since before he could remember. it's always just been the two of them, until jerry's father remarried, moving them three streets down in a rather large house.

An “Edge of 17” au. Anne and Jerry being siblings- 10/10

61,you're already home where you feel loved By: c19 Rating: G Length: 11k-1/1 

Summary: Soulmate marks were only for special people, everyone kept telling them, but Anne and Gilbert both felt decidedly unspecial. Soulmate AU where the soulmate part isn't all that important.

62.The Language of My Unwavering Heart  By: bravebatgirl (@bravebatgorl) Rating: T Length: 70k- 7/15 

Summary:Anne Shirley-Cuthbert is attending college, exploring the excitement of entering womanhood beside her friends, and has even achieved a not-so-tragical romance. Everything is finally settling into place for the bride of adventure, but there are others still in dire straits. How is it that so much pain can be caused in a world about to turn a new century? 

63.I'll See You in the Orchard By: wanderinginthewoods Rating: T Length: 20k-3/3 

Summary: An alternate final, where Gilbert has to leave for Toronto later on, and doesn't bump into Diana. Meanwhile Anne--after meeting Winifred--finds herself on a spontaneous journey to Avonlea to confront him for not telling her about his lack of engagement--amongst other things. 

64.The Many Faces of Gilbert Blythe By: Purple_Slippers_18  Rating: T  Length: 50k-10/10 

Summary: Anne was looking forward to meeting Avonlea's new schoolmaster, and if she could only stop herself from being distracted by the memory of a tall, dark, handsome stranger that she knows she'll never meet again, she was sure she would make an excellent impression on the new teacher, no matter what Minnie May had to say

65.Into the Sun By: goldinavonlea (@goldinavonlea) Rating: T  Length: 5k-1/1  

Summary: Summer had arrived in Avonlea. In all truth, summer had arrived in Avonlea several weeks earlier, but the inclement internal weather of Anne’s life of late had rendered the view rather cloudy from her window for a while there, and so perhaps it was better to say that summer had arrived—finally—in Anne. And what a summer it was. Or, Anne and Gilbert spend 5000 words ignoring all rules of Victorian propriety in favour of becoming the human embodiments of warm syrup.

Pure fluff, and written so well!

66.life is momentous, indeed  By: bruadarxch (@rootedbutfl0wing)  Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1 

Summary: "She turns around trying to wipe off her tears and there he is, galloping down Lovers’ Lane in his horse, like a brooding hero in a romance novel. Bastard."Anne mopes and Gilbert finally does what he has to do.

67.something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue By: lxstdreams Rating: NR  Length: 1k-1/1 

Summary: how to propose to someone the moody spurgeon style(ruby x moody) 

One of the very few not shirbert centric fics, but sooo cute! 

68.oh i swear to you (i'll be there for you) By: cornerinthepouringrain Rating: T Length: 9k- 1/1 

Summary: They sort of become a family, her and Jerry and Ruby and Gilbert (after she forgave him for the thing they don’t speak about), and they were annoying little shits who ate all her food and trashed her apartment, but... she was happy. It was a slow realization, one that didn’t really strike her until she was sitting on the floor in her pajamas, watching Ruby smack Jerry repeatedly after catching the boy stealing her Monopoly money as Gilbert rolled around in tears clutching his stomach. 

Friends Au! I just love it so much

69.you don't have to say nothing - you don't have to say you're mine By: goddessbeltane Rating: M (warning: rape/non-con) Length: 27k-1/1 

Summary: I hate this asshole. Asshole! The nerve! Anne rose from her chair abruptly, striding over to the counter to meet an obviously frightened Gilbert – though she couldn’t blame him for being scared, the last time she looked at him like that was about five seconds before he was violently doused - before folding her arms across her chest. “And just what would you know about soulmates, Blythe?”

The Office Au! If you can't tell, I love sitcom aus. Mentions of rape (not graphic)  

70.If You're Wondering If I Want You To  By: teal_always Rating: T Length: 16k-1/1 

Summary:  Princess Cordelia cordially invites Princess Delphine to join her on the playground to witness Sir Gilbert's courting of Princess Cordelia's mother, Queen Anne. Or Gilbert Blythe will piss off Anne Shirley-Cuthbert upon meeting her in any and all universes.

Single parent au! Just so good!

71.A Little Crazy By: YumKiwiDelicious Rating: NR Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: They’re eight and she’s got the knobbiest knees Gilbert has ever seen. || 5 times Anne tells Gilbert she loves him +1 time he actually takes her seriously||

72. we can leave the christmas lights up till januaryBy: Alice_Prongs Rating: T Length: 17k-3/3

Summary: the boys are throwing a christmas party before they leave for the holidays. that's fine. it's fine, really. all anne needs to do is stay sober throughout it and nothing will go wrong. like, you know, blurting out all of her feelings for gilbert blythe in front of him.

Modern + Christmas + Angst = a fantastic fic! (also sequel Here)

73.silence is the blood whose flesh is singing By: ashleykay Rating: NR Length: 4k-1/1  

Summary: Anne Shirley does not believe in soulmates. And she will not be swayed otherwise. She believes only in love freely given. Soulmate AU. Timers.

74.The 10 Rules of Anne and Gilbert's Fake Relationship By: anexistence Rating: G Length: 18k-4/11 

Summary: She’s kissing Gilbert Blythe, who is surprisingly eagerly kissing her back. Ew, she’s kissing Gilbert Blythe. Anne pulls away, and masks her horror by smiling sweetly up at him. He has that warm yet bemused look on his face. “Hey, there” he smirks, and Anne wishes she could just wipe the smirk away. “A favour for a favour,” she whispers. “You owe me some brownies, Carrots.”

75.thin ice  By: antspaul Rating: T (warning- eating disorder)  Length: 30k-7/7  

Summary: "She still has a long way to go. Frustration builds in her throat and she wishes she could eat what she wanted and still stay slim and beautiful and perfect like Anne or Ruby. But things are the way things are. Nothing can be done about that. Diana will be beautiful. She just has to stay in control." When her world seems to be falling apart at the seams, Diana Barry finds power in the strict regulation of food. At the same time, her friendship with the Cuthbert's farm boy grows into more than she could have expected. And so she spirals.

The other not shirbert centric fic (but they are mentioned). Whether or not you like Diana x Jerry it's still really interesting to see a fic from Diana's perspective. Mentions of eating disorders are VERY graphic. Stay safe kids. There's also an (uncompleted) sequel Here

76.All This Time, I Was Waiting For You  By: MeggieB Rating: M Length: 2k-1/1 

Summary: Five Times Gilbert Blythe says "Carrots"

Pure fluff! Includes young shirbert and married shirbert! 

77.Dream a Little Dream of Me  By: PhoebeDillard (@gilbvrtblythe) Rating: G Length: 8k-1/1  

Summary: Anne Shirley had been fascinated by the very idea of a dream her entire life. So imagine her surprise when she finally has hers and in it appears a prince that looks suspiciously similar to Gilbert Blythe. A Soulmate AU where everyone has one dream their entire life, and in it they see the face of their true love.

78.real or not real By: thearkdelinquents Rating: NR Length: 11k-1/1 

Summary: a fake dating fic but it's basically just a shirbert To All The Boys I Loved Before au.

79.Flowers in His Heart By:  Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles) Rating: G Length: 1k-1/1

Summary: ‘Don’t be,’ he said, shaking him head, ‘I was dreaming.’ Anne carefully smiled, placing her chin on her palm. ‘About?’ Gilbert paused for a moment. How could he reply to that? (“I dreamt about pinning you against the grass and kissing you”, wasn’t exactly an acceptable answer.) Or, he weighed the option, he could work with it. (or: Gilbert and Anne hang out and they definitely do not like each other. At all.)

80.Strawberry Tarts By: carrotsblythe Rating: G Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: Anne refuses to take part in another game of Spin the Bottle. And naturally, so does Gilbert.

81.Pretty Injuries  By: novahainn Rating: G (warning: PTSD, child abuse) Length: 5k-1/1 

Summary: Gilbert spent his childhood covered in flowers. Anne spent her childhood covered in some injury or other. Their meeting involves both. Soulmate AU where flowers appear on a person's soulmate when the person is injured.

82.From Red to Green With Love Between By: PhoebeDillard (@gilbvrtblythe) Rating: G Length: 7k-1/1

Summary: Gilbert Blythe was born with a tuft of red hair sticking out from amidst his unruly dark curls... until the day it turned green. A Soulmate AU where everyone has a streak of hair that matches the color of their true love.

 83.you belong somewhere close to me By: georgiestauffenberg Rating: G (warning: mentions of child abuse)  Length: 20k-1/1

Summary: “I know, son. I know. But if you feel what your soulmate feels, it is likely that she feels what you feel.” He raised his eyebrows. “Do you understand? If you are happy, she will be happy, too. Do you think you can be happy for her?” He nodded. “Yes.” He would think happy thoughts every possible moment if he must. AU. Gilbert is one of those rare, lucky souls who has a soulmate.

84. Shirbert One Shot + Drabble Collection By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordeila) Rating: G-T Length: 43k’

I could have individually put every single fic on this list, but I thought it would be better to put the entire collection. You can find everything you're looking for here. I recommend them all but here are my personal favorites 

In the Blue Haze, The Peace, The Storm, She Has Brains Enough for Two , A Sweet Heart Won, Take Notice, Here is the Echo of a Sound I Wanted, things that fall (i, for you), Lifemate,when the sun goes to sleep

85. Time Turns to Amber By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordeila) Rating: T Length: 42k-7/?

Summary: The line between universes is blurred when Anne Shirley of Green Gables suddenly switches lives with Ann Cuthbert, a university student living in the contemporary world. Suddenly Anne must learn how to navigate the modern world, one which contains a boyfriend, a part time job, and another year of university. Meanwhile, Ann struggles to tackle corsets, farming, and a world without electricity. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but most people can't tell the difference between the redhead they know and the girl who replaced her. Anne (and Ann) have to learn to live as the other and try to find a way back to their own homes.

#anne with an e #anne with an e fic #anne with an e fanfiction #awae #anne shirley #anne of green gables #annewithane #gilbert blythe #shirbert #shirbert fanfic #shirbert fanfiction #diana barry #anne x gilbert #jerry baynard #ruby gillis #moody spurgeon #roody #fanfiction #fanfic #masterlist

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Hi Mia! I went on another We Can Be Heroes binge session again SO ALLOW ME TO SING YOUR PRAISES!!! YOUR CHARACTERIZATION OF PETER??? Like, we *know* he betrays them but THE WAY YOU HINT AND FORESHADOW?? THEN THERE'S THOMAS EVANS GENUINELY PRETENDING HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WIZARDING WORLD??? AND TIPSY LILY OUTRIGHT COMPLIMENTING JAMES AND PUTTING SN*PE IN HIS PLACE YEAAAASSS MY OTP ❤❤❤ Anywho, just wanted to remind you I love everything about this fic. Your prowess never ceases to amaze me

OMG @littlejeanniebean you star!!! 🙈🙈🙈

You are way way too kind!

I’m so happy you’re enjoying reading it!!! I LOVE waking up to numerous key smashes, lol! There’s so many headcanons to think about, isn’t there? Like the Evanses meeting James?? Petunia’s behaviour towards James?? (Snape was horrible to her so her first impression of wizards wasn’t exactly positive).

And I love writing Snape with an eye on the typical personality traits of stalkers (!!!)

And Wolfstar doing the whole Grease aesthetic switch?? 😂🥰 I loved your comment!!!

And btw I’m so glad you like the way I write Peter cause he’s largely based on a guy who was one of our best friends in college (5 guys and 6 girls, friends all through med school) and suddenly stopped hanging out with us almost overnight, after one of my other (male) friends came out. He was very funny, a brilliant mimic and actor and supposedly close friend.... and turned out to be a dickhead.... ! Ugh...

Anyway, I’m so excited for you to read about the marauders in 7th year... expect more cliffhangers, that’s all I’ll say (fine, maybe a proposal and other minor things)

#thank you 💕💕💕💕💕 #gorgeous asks #loveliest tumblr friends #mutual love

[padfootagain]

Fifteen Steps

Well, I asked you to choose, and you unanimously voted for Sirius, so here we go!! I hope you like this! Tell me what you think of it!

It's a mix of angst and fluff, because, that's the best mix you can have, right :) Nothing too dramatic, though, don't worry.

Gif not mine, as usual (I love this gif, I use it too much for angsty fics **devilish laugh**)

Word Count: 2936

Time is a strange thing. People tend to see it as a straight line going on forever, but it is not. It bends under the weight of stars and planets, it's stretched and compressed in black holes. It twists and folds up and changes shape, and it doesn't pass at the same rhythm everywhere in the universe. At some points it passes faster than others where it slows down forever until it's almost still. There are places out of time. And then, there is our own way of dealing with time. Our own way of feeling it passing through us, an unstoppable stream carrying us through life until we reach the deadly waterfall at the end of the river.

But if time passes the same way everywhere on earth it is not, on such a tiny scale that our planet is, in any way stretched by a nearby star or compressed by the weight of a nebula floating through the void next to us, it is because our own mind has a tendency to distort it. When we're bored it seems that time passes more slowly. When we're in a hurry, it flows faster. It is merely a trick of our minds, but it's pretty spot on and fools us all every time.

And Sirius knows it, but he won't escape the trick now either. Time slides around him in slow motion. And it's entirely your fault.

He struggles to swallow as he spots you in the crowd. He hasn't seen you in months. Not since he accepted this mission on the other side of the country. It was dangerous to say the least, one could have even said suicidal. That's why he broke up with you first.

He didn't want you to mourn him. He didn't need that. If he were to die in these mountains, he wanted you to go on with your life, find someone else, build a life of your own.

The thing is, when he left, he didn't think he would survive the mission. He didn't think he would come back.

So what is he going to do now?

Now that he is back in London. Now that the war is over. Now that Voldemort is gone. Now that the Death Eaters have fled. Now that he is free to have the life he wants. Now, what is going to happen to him?

He can hear Remus, Peter and James, all three of them on their way from tipsy to fully drunk, laughing behind him. He knows Marlene and Lily are close by. He expects to hear from Alice and Frank soon too. He drinks up the rest of his shot of firewhiskey, his grey eyes still fixed upon you.

You're laughing with Dorcas. You're smiling, you're laughing, you're happy.

You're happy without him.

He thinks about all these times he was hiding in the cold, all these nights he spent awake because he was too afraid to sleep. You were the only thought that got him through it all. You were what brought him home.

He travelled further down his memory lane, back to Hogwarts. Back to the shy girl that you were back then. Back to the long nights spent talking and eating cookies. Back to the afternoon walks across the grounds. Back to the secret conversations bathed in moonlight. Back to your arms wrapped around him as you soothed the pain holidays had brought onto him.

You have been guiding his steps through long nights for so long. He realizes then that it doesn't matter if he can't have you. You'll always be with him. It will always be you.

When he falls asleep, it is your face that will be drawn on his tired eyelids. When he wakes up in sweat after a nightmare, it is your voice he will hear to sooth his demons. When he wakes up, it is your eyes he will see first through dawn.

It is you.

It has always been you.

It will always be you.

He wants to go there, cross the room, and reach you. Through the euphoric crowd celebrating the victory against the Dark Lord, he counts the number of steps that separate the two of you.

About 15, he'd say.

15. 15 steps, what a ridiculously immense distance. It's only 15 steps, he could cross the distance in mere seconds, just a few strides, and yet it seems unreachable. Things could be back to normal, back to how they should be, and he could wrap his arms around you and forget about the rest of the universe and kiss you… Merlin, how he wants to kiss you… He closes his eyes and remembers how it feels. Your soft lips against his, moving with his like a dance you've mastered to perfection. He remembers how you taste. Mostly of joy, candlelight, parchments and rainy afternoons. Sometimes, you taste like stars too.

And how you smell, Sirius can remember your fragrance it now as he takes in a long breath. Chocolate, candles, parchments, soft sheets, blue skies, wintery wind.

He opens his eyes again, and they find your frame with ease, they have kept the habit of finding you in any crowd.

And you're smiling. And laughing. And you look happy.

It's the end of the war, the Wizarding World is free.

Perhaps he should free you for good too.

At first, he wanted to cross that ridiculous distance of 15 steps. But now, that he stares at you, he finds himself uncapable of doing so. After all, he did break up with you.

When he came back, he asked Lily about you, and she didn't mention any new boyfriend who would have taken his place. But then, how could he be sure?

He isn't sure it's the right thing to do now.

So he turns around, adds three more steps to these 15 that separate the two of you, and puts his glass down on the bar.

"I'm heading home, I'm knackered," Sirius informs his friends.

As expected, James and Remus argue that it's still early. They have won the war and are all still alive to celebrate it, they should get gloriously drunk. But Sirius shakes his head. And as his friends spot you in the crowd over his shoulder, they understand.

"You should talk to her. You could get back together," James advises, but Sirius sends him a glare that makes his friends fall silent.

"I'm very tired, I just got home yesterday. I need some sleep. I'll see you all tomorrow at Godric's Hollow, right?"

"Of course."

He can't walk out without hugging his friends, his brothers. So many times, he thought he would never see any of them again. And now, here they are, all alive and well and out of the war. He can have them in his life still.

But he can't have you. Not now. Not ever again.

He strides out of the bar in Diagon Alley. The street still bears the scars of the fights that raged here, the many shops that had to close either because their owners were scared, or killed, or mysteriously disappeared. It was empty during the last months of the war, but it's buzzing with people again. The main passage, at least. Families coming to celebrate the victory, many wizards and witches gathered to try and believe that it's all real. It happened. They're all free now.

But Sirius doesn't want to be surrounded with people, right now. So he walks down the road, as he knows that it will be much quieter there, and readies himself to Apparate.

Above his head, the stars shine a bright light, whitish against the inky sky for most of them. Stars too are a strange thing. Burning balls of gas lightyears away, and yet visible from here. It takes so long for light to travel these distances though, some of them are already dead when their light reaches the Earth. Sirius wonders how many have gone out already, lost in the cosmos, dying on their own, sending their light through space in one last spasm that won't be seen before several millennia. He thinks it's quite sad. They die on their one, with no one to see them disappear. And he knows how much it hurts to be alone, how terrifying it is to face death on his own. Maybe he does deserve that name of his after all, maybe, just like the stars, he was meant to fade away with no one by his side.

He's almost out of the crowd, he will Apparate in just a few seconds, when the voice that calls after him has the young man frozen on the spot.

"Sirius!"

It's you. Of course, he knows it's you. He would recognize your voice in a thousand shouts. He dreams of it every night.

He turns around slowly. He can't fake to not hear you. You're not stupid. There's no point in denying that you're here. It won't stop you from telling him whatever it is you have to say.

Are you going to shout? To cry? To slap him? He reckons he would deserve your rage.

You're motionless in the street as he turns to you, the lampposts shedding a yellowish light onto your shape, getting caught as glimmering droplets in your hair.

"Hey," is all he manages to say.

What else could he tell you? That he's sorry for what happened, but he had to protect you? That he thought he would never have to face this situation because he never thought he would come back alive? That he loves you so much it hurts and burns every cell of his body and consume his heart and soul?

What is the point?

But instead of being met by your anger, instead of the burning sting of a slap across his cheek, or terrible words screamed and spitted to his face, you smile.

You smile the brightest grin there is. One that lights up the dark so much more than any of these burning, old stars above your heads. One that blinds him so much he has to blink.

Sometimes, looking at you feels like staring at the sun.

Before he can move, you run to him, a proper, desperate run to throw yourself into his arms.

And then your arms are wrapped around his neck, and you're pressed against him and it's almost too much.

He has dreamt of this for months, and now… but… it isn't right, is it?

He can't manage to properly think now, not when your breath tickles the skin of his neck, when your fingers are running through his hair, when your warmth flows from your chest to his, when he can feel your heartbeat against his own.

So he just wraps his arms around you, and holds you close.

Maybe it's the last hug he will have from you. He expects then that when you break the embrace, you'll beam up at him and tell him about this new life you've built with someone else. He just hopes he doesn't know the man who owns your heart now. He was so proud and lucky when it was him who held it in his own chest. He never felt like he deserved it though, perhaps this new man is better than him.

He reckoned it isn't a hard goal to reach.

He can't refrain a smile. If you could read through his mind now, you would glare at him for thinking like this of himself. You've always insisted on him thinking more highly of himself. But seeds planted in one's childhood are hard to shush and destroy.

He pushes the thought away. None of this matters now. He holds you, for what he guesses is the last time. And he can't allow anything else to exist in his world, not for now.

You finally break the embrace and hold his face in your shaking hands, your eyes filled with relieved tears. And there it is again, that blinding grin of yours.

"Oh Merlin, Sirius… I thought you were dead! Why didn't you tell me you were back? How… Why didn't you tell me anything for five months?! Do you have any idea how scared I was?!"

"I couldn't. I was undercover. I couldn't put you in danger by writing to you. And they would have killed me if they had found out the truth. And I only came back yesterday."

"You really are a moron, you know that? You scared me so much!"

You burrow your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in him. Firewhiskey, leather, fire, danger and a bit of twilight. It's him. It really is him. No one can have this scent but him.

But he gently holds your upper-arms, slowly pushing you away to break the embrace, and you stare at him.

"Y/N… We can't…"

He sighs and changes his mind.

"Are you okay?"

"Now that you're here, yes."

"Don't say things like that."

"What do you mean?"

But he looks at you with a frown.

"We broke up, Y/N. You can't act like nothing happened, giving me hope like that…"

You break out into laughter, and he merely quirks an eyebrow. What the hell is going on?

"What, you mean… that fake excuse for a break-up you came up with? I'm not stupid, Sirius. You were just trying to push me away because you were leaving for this mission, that's all there was to that."

"How can you know?"

"You were crying on your motorbike. I know. I saw you by the window. Besides, it's rather convenient to break up with me out of the blue five hours before leaving for a suicide mission."

He could deny it, but what would be the point? You're right. About everything. He sheepishly looks down at his shoes.

"Are you mad?" he asks in a shaky whisper. "I just thought… it had to be done, but I didn't think anyone could come back from that mission. At least, if I broke up with you, you would… have not mourned me so much and you would have found someone else and… Have you found someone else?"

There are tears rolling down your cheeks now, but Sirius doesn't want you to cry. He's never wanted you to cry. He would do anything to bring a smile back to your lips, anything at all…

"You bloody idiot!" you shake your head. "Of course there's no one else. What do you think? That making a tantrum is going to make me stop loving you? Do you really think I wouldn't have been shattered if you had died simply because you broke my heart? I love you! It's not a question of being together or not, it's not a question of time passing by, or water running under a bridge. I love you. I love you so much. I'll never stop loving you. Nothing and no one can change that."

It's his turn to let a tear escape his grey eyes.

"So… no one else then?"

You shake your head.

"No one. Just you."

"I don't deserve you…"

"Yeah, you do. You're an idiot sometimes, but you're such a good man, and I love you so damn much."

By now, you're both a crying mess. There are strangers passing by around you, but you ignore them and they pretend like they can't see you. Only a little girl in a red coat asks her mother why you and Sirius are crying.

Because they're in love and they can be together now. That's all her mother answers. And it's quite right too.

"I love you too, you know?" Sirius whispers, running a hand through your hair. "I've missed you so much. But I thought… I saw you there in the bar and I… I thought maybe you… you were laughing and perhaps you were better off without me after all."

"Don't ever say something like that. I knew you were back. Lily told me yesterday. Trust me, I haven't laughed for all these months you were gone. I need you, okay? I don't want anyone else."

"I'm not perfect."

"I know. I just happen to love your flaws too. That's what they call real love, I reckon."

Finally, he wraps his arms around you again, burying his face in your hair, breathing you in, holding you so tightly it's hard for you to breathe but your hold on him is just as desperate.

"I do love your flaws too, Merlin help me with that," Sirius moans in your ear, making you laugh.

And it's a very strange thing indeed, time. It passes, an unstoppable flow that carries moments after moments in its wake. But sometimes, it stops. As if it understood that some moments deserve a bit more time than others. And two people loving each other is quite one of these moments.

So time stops. Oh, it will resume its flowing soon enough and make both of you move again, and soon dawn will break the stars above and replace them with a vivid blue sky. Strangers in the street will go home, and lie down, and repeat to themselves that the war is over, they can sleep without fear from now on.

But right now, time stops, just so you and Sirius can hold tightly on each other for just a little longer. The number of steps between the two of you is down to zero, just the way it should be, and Sirius intends to keep it that way for as long as he can.

***********************************

Tag list : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things  @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi @presstocontinue @ilmiopiccolounivers0 @madamrogers @drinix @sad-orange-thoughts @mxrihollxd @geeksareunique @giggleberts @justanothermaraudersblog @sad-orange-thoughts @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @drinix @joelynnp @mxrihollxnd @mikeselevenn @knowledgeisthebomb @madamrogers @newtstarmander @wangmangagavroche

#Sirius Black #sirius black x reader #sirius #sirius x reader #sirius fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #sirius fanfiction #sirius imagine #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine #Marauders #hp fanfic #hp imagine #hp #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #imagine

[artificialqueens]

how will i know (manila & trinity) - roza

[ summary ] : trinity is beginning to topple from stress, overthinking her own emotions. unable to sort them out, she calls for help in the form of the always lovestruck manila, maybe she can be of some assistance.

[ author's note ] : I rewatched all of as4 today and this iconic lip sync happened and needed a break from my figure skating fic, I think they'd have a very odd and sweet friendship with each other. based on (of course) the iconic "how will i know" by whitney houston, just a sweet ol' thing I wrote up! xx — lily.

AO3 / My Tumblr / (灬º‿º灬)♡

— ✧*。

"I need to talk to you about something, it's serious."

That wasn't exactly the most pleasant way to ever start a conversation in Manila's mind but the noirette couldn't say no to her own friend as her head seemed to nod for itself, "Yeah of course!" Her tone chipper but her face (completely beat in true Luzon fashion) suggesting a worrisome change in expression. She took Trinity by the hand and escorted her from the club they had called home for almost two years every Wednesday and Friday since they both graduated from college and became permanent roommates, New York was expensive: Trinity wasn't used to paying ten dollars for a small coffee and her entire soul for an apartment the size of her bathroom in Orlando.

Finding a deserted bench near the bar outside they strayed away and parked themselves under the streetlamp where the black bench sat, Trinity adjusting her perfectly styled and dyed blonde hair with her long acrylics pulling back hair behind her ear. The Filipina gave a comforting glance as she kicked her black and white striped dress that barely even reached her knees.

"You seem very quiet, it's enjoyable don't get me wrong." Manila laughed though Trinity could only roll her eyes as she ruffled her fluffed up yellow jacket, she had stolen it from Sasha's closet when they had been roommates and though the southerner tried to do the right thing and buy it off from her, Miss Congeniality herself said she could simply have it. The Russian not even batting an eye when she had asked for it, it was definitely a statement but the blonde liked something unexpected for her style once in a while. "What did you wanna ask me about? I know it was loud in there but if you don't wanna say it aloud we can always just walk home." Beginning to assure Trinity with her hands rubbing her shoulders, the girl beside her shook her head and began to wave her off.

"No, no—"

"You can spill! I'm your bestie!" The words leaving her red lips as she batted her eyes under the dimly lit street corner, Trinity surprised that the pink and black eyeshadow seemed to still look bright and good with such awful lighting. Manila's nose crinkled as she waited patiently for a response from Trinity who only was stuttering out a way to say exactly what she had put together in her head.

Suddenly, without even a second thought Manila gasped once the Floridian began to scratch the back of her neck, "Oh my god!" She yelled before looking around, interlocking their hands with a frown understanding now what was running through that head of Trinity Taylor's, her sneaking, sly, suspicions getting the best of her. "Trinity, you're my best friend but I really just think we should stay friends my love and I'm so sorry, I know I'm absolutely gorgeous but—" the blonde gasped quickly once the words started to pour from her mouth, slapping her wrists away with a laugh.

"I'm not in love with you, I'm not that desperate." The offended glare in Manila's eyes was enough to paint a picture with, quickly apologizing. "Besides you're with Raja, I would never get in the way of that whole thing you both have going on." Once again, a smile flashed across her roommate's lips at the mention of her girlfriend.

Trinity truthfully couldn't think of someone more compatible to Manila than Raja, one of the fashion majors at their old liberal arts college who always showed off her Indonesian heritage and her newly sewed clothing every morning as they would sit with Sasha, Shea and Detox to talk about upcoming exams or whatever new drama was boiling over. She was beautiful, well composed, had a reputation to uphold and always managed to keep her poise even if she could be a complete shady bitch. Manila instantaneously fell for her and judging by the flush that infiltrated her cheeks every day thinking about the taller girl, Trinity could only guess it didn't take too long for Raja to reciprocate the same feeling.

She was envious.

Completely and utterly envious of her best friend, she had been struggling for over a year with one crush while Manila was just living her dreams and traveling with her girlfriend back to Asia over the summer and winter months.

"How do you know someone loves you back?"

The question came as a shock to Manila who froze inner monologue, whipping her head back to Trinity as her jacket's leather fringe only followed her direction. "Are you actually in love?" The response came out a bit frazzled but it definitely was out of love and genuine concern as opposed to disappointment. "I am, that's not the problem honey." She laughed as she had the sudden urge to open another box of cigarettes though she swore to Manila to stay clean of drugs and cigarettes almost three months ago.

"Anyone would be a fool not to love you back, that's my opinion of the evening." Leaning back into the bench she outstretched her hands and put them behind her head as she listened to Trinity begin to spiral downward in conversation about how badly it was gnawing at her heart to be so silent and to feel as if she was being far too impulsive with her own emotions. Trinity was usually the most calm and meditated of the two, this was a completely different side she had now unlocked.

"I just don't think she feels the same way and I have to accept it."

"Now hold on here, don't just jump off the bridge, you are your own worst critic."

The conversation seemed to turn in Manila's favor once her tipsy friend asked about how she knew personally the moment that Raja began to feel the same romantically and how she knew when her school girl crush turned into a legitimate concern.

"Well…" she giggled, a bit surprised she had taken so long to really think about it.

"It's just those little things: her physicality changed, she had a softer tone of speaking towards me, the constant compliments, she'd smile much more in public— y'know, I could just see the sparks fly and those moments, those times when I just knew she was thinking about me and being preoccupied with thoughts of me that's something you feel and can see for yourself." Just as Trinity opened her mouth to respond, Manila only kept gushing on.

"Her eyes! She took me to the clouds above, I had no control of my emotions after."

Lovingly, Manila smiled at Trinity who still had an emotionless and blank expression wiping her face. Her words came out with a bland and robotic tone, "So you just have to feel it is what you're telling me?"

"Absolutely girl."

The blonde suddenly stood up and paced around slowly, circling the bench with her heels pounding against the concrete sidewalks. "Alright, thank you."

Dumbfounded, Manila stood up and moaned aloud, tugging at her waist as she caught Trinity trying to walk off, "No! We're not done, I've never seen you so delusional, who's preoccupied your attention so badly that you're having this much internal stress?" Blinking her brown irises she finally pushed a response from Trinity when she started to tickle her waist.

Scrambling off and screaming incompetent to realize how late it was, she laughed and fell on the bench once more as Manila joined her. Their heads resting on each other's shoulders. Biting her lip, Trinity finally gave up the act and turned towards her roommate.

"I'm in love with Detox."

Immediately, Manila jumped off the bench and yelled, covering her mouth before falling back on the bench and sitting on her knees to giddily clap her hands together and gasp in well, not exactly from surprise, but definitely from happiness. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it, I knew it!" She yelled close to her ear as they hugged again, Trinity taking in a sharp breath.

"Well now is your chance, I know she broke up with Roxxy a while ago. I wonder why." The three words making Trinity slap her in the shoulder, denying the implications that came with that response specifically. "You're such a shady bitch!" She spat, unable to hold it together, snickering as she spoke quietly.

"What! The fact you think she already isn't into you back, I mean there's a reason you always got free coffee at our University's cafe."

Cheeks turning bright as a Ruby, Trinity only brushed off that minor factoid and let it fall into the abyss. Flustered, she brushed the small bits of cat hair still visible on her bright yellow sweater as Manila didn't want to let go of this conversation so easily.

"Do you seriously think she's not into you?"

"She's way out of my league."

"Oh bitch, she wishes she had your silicone implants."

Trinity launched herself jokingly at Manila before she quickly put an end to the teasing, adding a legitimate point of conversation.

"I don't wanna make you overthink more than you already are, but I've never seen someone so desperately want attention from you. That small little glimmer in both of your eyes, I absolutely lose my mind."

Brow cocked, Trinity almost wanted to laugh: it sounded both ridiculous and far too good to be true.

"And, my final point of the night, because I can really just keep going, she's asked you how many times to go out for a drink? I mean really now."

Observing the change in Trinity's expression, seeing her pupils expand she smiled gently before feeling a tight grip strangle her arms, "Do you think she really means that for a romantic gesture or are you just playing around with me? Anyone could ask me for a drink Manila, hell, that's what we've been doing all night!"

"But do I ask you almost every other day and say that I'll pay? Because I sure wouldn't."

Awe transformed her face, "Oh fuck."

It was hilarious that it was the only words she could possibly say to express the possible, more than possible, mutual interest between her and Detox but she'll give her a pass considering it's almost midnight and she had more than enough tequila for the night being. "Told you I'm the greatest when it comes to love." A wink leaving her eyes as Trinity practically shoved her off the bench, catching her by the hem of her jacket.

"I was never doubting your matchmaker assets."

"Good, so now you can say yes and then you'll be happy and kiss and get married and have fifteen cats!"

Shaking her head, Trinity could only sigh in relief before tapping her fingertips across the black bench, "Guess I finally have to say yes to drinking and dancing with my crush, how it sucks to be me." She lamented with bitter sarcasm ingrained into her vocal chords. "I knew you two would somehow find each other: made of plastic, fashionable, secretly shady—"

"Secretly? Bitch I'm offended."

"You're brutally honest I'll give you that much."

"Plastic must be fantastic if we're both into each other so badly according to you, matchmaker Manila Luzon."

Manila held on tightly to her friend, it was an unexpected connection but at the end of the day: this was her sister till the end and no matter how badly she wanted to murder Trinity for her harsh words at times, for getting Iridescent glitters all over her bathrobe and forgetting to eat, that was still her roommate and best friend no matter if they wanted to pummel eachother's heads into the ground some days compared to the rest.

"You better say yes next time she asks or I'm just gonna text her myself. Don't think I won't: you can ask Sasha what I wrote to Shea once she broke her promise of finally admitting to her now, thanks to me, girlfriend of having a crush on her. I bet she still has the screenshots and everything girl."

"I won't test you or stick my hand in murky water, next time she asks I'll say yes and if I don't, then we certainly have a deal."

Extending their pinky's they swore, in the most childish yet serious way they could, exchanging glances that were worth a thousand words.

Thank god you're my best friend.

#rpdr fanfiction #rajila #detox x trinity #manila luzon #trinity taylor #raja gemini #sasha velour #lesbian au #roza #concrit welcome #detox icunt

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

End of the year writing meme -- A, D, F, H, N, R, S, U, V, and Z. :)

also:   ukthxbye said:  R and U for the end of the year writing meme:) and simplyshelbs16xoxo said:  A, M, P for the writing thingy

Thank you again, ladies & fellow authors, for the asks; there are few things that rival my love of writing, but having the chance to discuss my writing comes pretty close!  ;-)

As the Christmas crunch has hit me full tilt this weekend, I’m going to answer this over several posts (also, because I’m dreadfully long-winded, and I don’t want to put any readers to sleep!).  So here goes part one…

A.  If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of you fics, what would you pick? Why?

I’ve always been greatly inspired by music–it’s always had the power to move me down to my soul…so for certain characters that I hold dear, I have music that reflects them and gets right to the core of some pivotal moment they are experiencing. Most recently it was ABBA’s Andante, Andante as performed by Lily James in Mamma Mia II this past summer

–refective of my OFC, Teyla, over the last few published chapters of Of Magic, Miracles, and Moonlight.

As I sat in the movie theater, from the very first line of the song, and the first strains of it’s lovely melody, I felt it was exactly Teyla’s song–for I was in the midst of writing the latest chapter, in which her slow-burn romance with Stephen Strange is finally (and beautifully, if I don’t say so myself) consummated.

D.  Any drawings or pictures that had a big influence on your writing?

Probably half of my works have been inspired by either pictures (in character or not) or drawings of My Muse (and Beautiful Obsession)! And there remain a good share of ideas that I haven’t yet had the time to flesh out and bring to life.  Most notably there was a photo of Benedict Cumberbatch from the publicity run up to Star Trek: Into Darkness; posed with a classic car on an arid California roadside, dressed in a spotless white tee & black leather pants, with his Khan-darkened hair *pauses to fan self*–he became John Harrison on the run from Admiral Marcus’s henchmen, pre the events of the movie, in A Khan By Any Other Name.

I also started a fic (In the Eye of the Beholder) about the youth of Richard Plantagenet based on a still from The Hollow Crown series. Benedict’s Richard looking darkly handsome, dangerous, sultry, in blue velvet–-a dark, magnificent prince with a cankerous heart; a villain so skillfully imbued with enough of a painful backstory (oh how his mother so cruelly rejected him!) by the Actor, that this author just had to plumb the depths of his childhood & teen years to discover why he turned out so duplicitious and power hungry (spoiler: there was a teen love affair that also broke his heart, thanks to his mother’s interference).

A Time and Place for Misbehavior was sparked by photos & footage of Benedict’s tipsy acceptance speech at the 2014 British GQ Men of the Year awards dinner, while Whiskey Kisses was inspired by his performance of ‘Sonnet 155′ in May 2010. And pictures of the dashing Major Jamie Stewart from War Horse were the seeds for The Secret of Salvation. I could go on, but I’m sure you get the picture–BC truly is the Muse for most of my works!

F.  What stories are you planning for the future?  

So many, many, many ideas, and too, too, too little time! I’ve got a good dozen draft documents with initial paragraphs & notes just waiting to be dusted off and brought to life-–but I’ve also got a bunch of long-running WIPs that need attention first. A couple of my favorite ideas are Sherlock related; a fic that will explore how Sherlock came to play the violin (an idea conceived well before S4 and the reveal of Eurus), which will also feature teenaged Mycroft and a youthful sibling rivalry (mostly on M’s part); and a character study of what is going on in all the minds of Sherlock’s family & friends while they wait to see if he survives his gunshot wound in His Last Vow, which will prominently feature Mycroft & Molly.

H.  How do you write? Paper, pen, computer? Music, no music?

Currently, I work either on my tablet or small laptop, but I also keep a notebook & pen on my nightstand for those times I wake up with a plot detail or perfect bit of dialogue.  I’m so used to writing with the television playing as white noise in the background, I know it would be hard to adapt to silence–and as my work area doesn’t have easy access to play music (and I don’t have a smart phone or an I-pod) I don’t know if music would actually serve my best interests…although I’ve will play songs repeatedly on my headphones should they fit the piece I’m working on, and I have access to public wifi. 

I guess that will do it for today; hope I didn’t put anyone to sleep! And thank you most kindly if you read this entire post through–you are a trooper (or at least a gluttoin for punishment, but that is not the deadliest sin, n’est-ce pas?)

If anyone is interested, all the stories I’ve listed can be found on AO3, where my pen name is BeautifullyObsessed.

#writing meme #strangelock221b #ukthxbye #simplyshelbs16xoxo #my writing #thanks for asking! #Of Magic Miracles and Moonlight #A Khan By Any Other Name #In the Eye of the Beholder #A Time and Place for Misbehavior #Whiskey Kisses #The Secret of Salvation #My Muse #My Constant Muse #Benedict Cumberbatch

[toast-the-unknowing]

lydia-st-james tagged me in a writing in review meme, which, man. That takes me back. I haven't done one of these in ages.

Main take-aways: 1. 2017 was the year of the long-ass fic titles, apparently. 2. It only took ten freaking years but I can mostly write romance without dying of embarrassment. Mostly. 3. Ten years has not been long enough to teach me how to start something and just finish it already before starting twenty more things. Seriously, there are so many stories that I started this year that I keep thinking ya'll have read already and then I remember that no one has read those because I haven't finished them yet. Oh well. Maybe 2018 will be a year of extraordinary personal growth and self-discipline. Spoiler alert: it won't be.

Anyway. These are the things that I've published so far this year.

Listed in chronological order of publication, with one exception:

new worlds for the weary, new lands for the living Okay, so, I don't know if anyone else thinks of any of their stories this way, but I have a very small handful of fics that are my heartsong fics. I don't think of them as being stories. I think of them as being thousands of words of meta and criticism and gushing and character love and, just, me, pouring my heart out over some aspect of canon that is important to me, and then maybe if I'm lucky, I trick people into reading it and thinking it's a story.

Yeah. This is one of those. I started this story before I had even finished Blue Lily, Lily Blue, which is not a thing I do. I always finish canon (to whatever extent canon exists at the time of my joining fandom) before I start writing. But I wanted so badly to write about Adam and Ronan and how I felt about their relationship that I couldn't wait.

This was something like a five month writing process all told, and I'm really happy with the end result. The moment where Ronan smears ink on Adam's face, in particular, I'm very proud of. I'm proud of that whole fight scene, really, but that moment is such a strong visual, and I'm not generally great at creating those.

don't think about how much it will hurt God, I still hate this title, but I do love this fic. It exists because I had been toying around with a canon-divergent AU that I quickly realized was going to take a shit-ton of work and not actually be that interesting. I ditched the AU, but there was one scene I liked enough that I didn't want to give up on it (Ronan trying to provoke Adam into punching him and then holding his hand while wondering wtf he's doing), and I realized it could pretty easily be made canon-compliant and given the legs to stand on its own.

I briefly considered tagging this as "preslash if you consider fighting and bad decisions to be flirting, which if you ship pynch, you probably do," and then I considered how poorly that would match the tone of this story. I am very happy with the tone of this story. It was hard to write, and I think it's hard to read, and it's a better story for it.

the more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind NO ONE ON EARTH READ THIS FIC BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I LOVE IT. There are so many, many, many things in this fic that make me happy: -Clarke being an unholy mashup of my sister and talldecafcappuccino -"You thought that there was an intersection of sentimentality and camp that Miller wouldn't be interested in?" -Just, Murphy. All of Murphy. -The Inseparable, Indestructible Blake Siblings (which is when the Blake siblings are at their best, fuck you, canon) -"Do you ever worry that we're going to turn out to be warped people with unhealthy relationships/Honestly at this point I'm counting on it." -the whole scene where Raven friend-dumps Clarke -Monty taking "gas grass or ass" too seriously -Nate's stupid "you know what they say about those guys with Bigfoot" t-shirt (I would wear that t-shirt)

Like, I know why this story wasn't successful as an item of fan culture. And I acknowledge that there are weaknesses in the writing. But I still fucking love it.

so familiar, like an old bedtime song Ugh, this was called "came in quiet with the rain" right up until the very second I published it and then I changed my mind and I still regret it. Never second gues yourselves, kids. (Either way: "Raising Cain" is a good Adam/Ronan song.) I wrote about half of this on a whim and then shoved it in a corner waiting for inspiration for the longer story that I thought it was meant to be a part of. Then I was sitting around on Adam's birthday/my birthday weekend, a little tipsy in the middle of the day, and I decided, nah, this can be a standalone. I'm not kidding myself that it's great literature but I think it does what it sets out to do well.

The Fake Geek Boy Job This is a rare example, for me, of coming up with a title first and writing the story around it. So that was fun. I was so, so, so happy with the response to this fic. I've written case fic before, but I'm not good at heists, and I was really worried that the way I handle the heavier plot elements here – basically cutting around them and explaining all of the offstage action through snarky banter – was going to feel like cheating. Like, there's probably a version of this story that's 20k words longer and is twice as good, but it would have taken ten times as much work. It seems like people understood the plot as it stands and didn't feel robbed, and it was such a relief to hear that.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name IT IS THE PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE that there are only two fanfics on AO3 tagged with the relationship tag "Quark & Jake Sisko" and I wrote both of them. Though I fully admit that "Everybody Comes to Quark's" is the better story of the two. This one feels like the first half is from one story and the second half is from a different story and neither of those two stories is complete, per se. But love a lot of the individual lines, character moments, etc. Also, just, any times spend with my beloved ridiculous giraffe boy Jake is good time.

faith, hope, all that bullshit This is the best thing that I have ever written that is based on a typo. And...I don't really know how to talk about this fic beyond that. It took something like seven months of on-again-off-again work; I am super grateful to Pynch Week for giving me the kick in the pants to finish it. There were so many things that were challenging about this – I hated everything in life the entire time I was writing Matthew. Plus trying to write all the characters as being a little older and more mature and their relationships as having progressed. But it was worth it because there are so many moments in this fic that just are still living in my head, even though I've put the fic down.

I think my favorite scene of all is the Christmas Eve scene, partly because I love Declan and partly because I love the "fucking Cain ruined it for the rest of us" exchange. But from a craft point of view I'm proud of that scene a lot. The first scene is its own contained story with beginning/middle/end; the Christmas Eve scene is what makes the proposal scene the beginning of a longer story, and it happens without the POV character understanding that it's happening. I'm pretty happy with how that all turned out.

People really liked the wedding scene, which is gratifying and totally baffling. That scene was murder to write. I don't even want to plan my own wedding, now I got to make one up for someone else? Of course, I mean. I cheated, because I didn't actually write the reception. Maybe the lesson here is if I don't even want to write a scene then for sure no one would want to read it?

Word on the Street This is another one, like The Fake Geek Boy Job, where I think there's a version of the story that's twice as good and eight times as long and a hundred times more work to write; I'm satisfied with my version. Also, I think the longer version is much more serious, whereas this is a comedy and I am happy with it as a comedy. Adam maybe comes off a little poorly, in the way that comedy characters sometimes come off dickish/rude/sociopathic. But it makes me laugh and honestly if I make myself laugh I'm happy. (That's not to say I'm never going to write the epic tale of how Ronan becomes Greywaren – I know what the first line of it is – but it's a real low priority).

come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls OKAY I WROTE THIS IN LIKE LITERALLY TWO DAYS AND YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. Even just writing something of this length usually takes weeks if not months between when I start it and when I finish it. This was like a dirty little fling, and as someone who never has dirty little flings either in life or in writing, that was a fun change of pace.

The Dragon's Nest Avatar: The Last Airbender is, in my eyes, basically a perfect television show, and it's a lot harder to write fic for something that you think is well-written/complete on its own, because where do you and your fanwriting fit in? As such, this was a challenge, but I'm pretty happy with it. Alchemicink, for whom this was written, mentioned being happy just from seeing the "intergenerational friendship" tag, and I gotta say I was happy just from getting to use that tag. And any day you get to write Toph stomping around yelling at people is a good day.

while we're on the subject, could we change the subject now So credit where credit is due: lydia-st-james gave me the prompts here and put up with my intermittent screeching as I was working on it. It took me a while to get it all done, but I wrote literally 13k words of this in the first four days, which is bonkers; I'm usually much more of a percolator in the early stages of writing. As such a lot of the outlining process is lost to the sands of time. I don't remember making an actual decision to set this in LA; I think my subconscious realized before I did that this was going to be a story about loneliness and depression, and, fairly or unfairly, I associate loneliness and depression with the city of Los Angeles. In any case, it gave me lots of opportunities to throw shade at LA and I'm always down for that, and I've loved hearing people respond to the specificity of the location.

It's funny to me that people are responding to this one so strongly because I don't generally groove on fake dating; I’ve never written it as a trope and I always find it hard to swallow as a reader. I wonder if there's something to be said for writing tropes one is somewhat critical of. Though I don't think, generally, it works out when people write a thing they actively hate. It's a theory I'm tinkering with, anyway.

#long-ass post #whoops #sorry? #millenial loves talking about herself: news at 11 #lydia-st-james #gpoy

[love-killed-the-superstar]

not as long as my usual fics but hey it has tipsy kalinor in a gay bar just being happy together what more could you honestly want

Title: Ease The Fire (That Within Me Burns) Pairing: Kadma/Halinor Summary: Kadma wasn't sure what to expect when Halinor promised her they'd get out on the scene if Kadma came to visit her at college. Of course, any chance to visit her secret girlfriend where people from Heatherfield wouldn't recognise her was good enough for Kadma, and she hastily pulled a sickie and packed her bags, told her parents she'd be staying with a college friend for a few days to work on a class project. It wasn't like it was completely false.

(In October 1966, Kadma and Halinor visit a gay bar.)

Read on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12077640

Kadma wasn't sure what to expect when Halinor promised her they'd get out on the scene if Kadma came to visit her at college. Of course, any chance to visit her secret girlfriend where people from Heatherfield wouldn't recognise her was good enough for Kadma, and she hastily pulled a sickie and packed her bags, told her parents she'd be staying with a college friend for a few days to work on a class project. It wasn't like it was completely false.

The ride over to Halinor's college campus was about forty minutes by bus, and Kadma was relieved that it only took that long because she was itching to spend time with Halinor again. They hadn't been in contact as much after Halinor returned for the first semester of her second year – it had taken all summer to grieve Cassidy and Nerissa and the death of C.H.Y.K.N, as well as so many other things, and at one point Halinor had even considered dropping out of college and taking Kadma up on the Fadden Hills dream they'd talked about so many times, just without the degree and without the career plan in mind. Fortunately, she'd had a change of heart just a few days before enrolment, and had returned to campus with a steely mindset to see through the end of her education.

However, Halinor's telepathy was gone for the most part, meaning radio silence pretty much in terms of instant communication. There was always the occasional phone call, but Halinor always got nervous on the phone, so she'd started sending letters instead, letters Kadma would cherish and read over and over again and preserve in a small jade green suitcase under lock and key. These letters would present themselves in the forms of love poems, anecdotes of college life, existential questions about their place in the world, questions asking after Yanny, doubts and fears in regards to Kandrakar, the Oracle and Nerissa. Rarely would a letter come that failed to make her laugh out loud, blush profusely and well up in the space of two page sides. In a rare postcard that had been lost in the post, arrived a week late, was a proposition.

K: Come visit me at college some time, I found just the right place for us to get out on the scene, if you know what I mean. See you soon, dear friend. -H

Short and sweet, but totally not in Halinor's style – there wasn't so much as a planetary doodle in the creeping blank space at the bottom of the note. Normally she would cover at least two sides, but maybe she was trying to be mysterious. Either way, Kadma was taken for it, hook, line and sinker. Any excuse to spend time with Halinor would be one she'd be happy to take.

Halinor was already waiting at the bus station for her when she finally arrived, clad in a loose summer dress adorned with ratty string around the waist acting as a belt (which was already looking a little thin for late October), complimented by a frayed tan jacket with tassels that had to be around six inches long, and go go boots that matched the jacket. On anyone else, even Kadma would admit the outfit looked a complete mess. On Halinor, it strangely worked, even from an outsider's perspective. She had an uncanny ability to make any outfit presentable. She'd even make wearing a sack look good.

“Kadma!” She sprinted over (surprisingly fast for such high shoes) and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “How are you, dear friend? It's been ages! You're lucky I picked up on your thoughts when I did, you never sent a reply back to me!”

“I did, it just hasn't shown up yet,” Kadma pointed out, hugging her back. Halinor giggled into her shoulder.

“Anyway, at least this means my telepathy isn't completely gone. It might come in handy some day.”

Kadma wanted to ask, what for? Cassidy is dead; Nerissa is sealed away on the other side of the world. Yan Lin's too far away for you to reach her – the power is useless. Not to mention an irritating reminder that the Oracle still has some sort of hold over us.

Instead, she shrugged. “Guess so.”

Halinor pulled away and tugged her hand, making no indication that she had picked up on that particular negative thought. “Shall we get going? The house I got isn't too far from the station, so we can walk. Also, don't even worry about my room mate. Ray's harmless, and he's passed out half the time. Works night shifts at a certain place we'll be visiting tonight, so he sleeps during the day.”

“And where will we be visiting, Hal? You haven't exactly given me a lot to go on,” Kadma pointed out, as Halinor began to steer the two of them towards the underpass leading out of the station. “All you sent me was a secretive little postcard.”

“You'll see,” sang Halinor playfully. “Did you bring something nice to dress up in?”

“Just my usual stuff,” said Kadma with a shrug. “Will that fly in your hippie club?”

“Sure. We don't shun people who prefer to dress more conservatively, you know. It's how you groove that matters.”

Kadma stared. “I don't groove, Hal. I barely dance.”

They broke free into sunshine and Halinor led her through the sunny residential area surrounding the station.

“I know that,” she said with a laugh. “Believe me, this club plays some great stuff. Besides, this is more than just going to a lame college discotheque – it's about the scene.”

“Again, secretive, secretive,” Kadma sighed, shaking her head. “What an unbelievable girl.”

“I'm being perfectly clear,” Halinor said with an equally mock-disappointed look. “You're the one not picking up on it.”

“Well, I guess I'll be totally surprised, then.”

True to Halinor's word, Ray was snoring away as Halinor let Kadma into her shared apartment. It was small without being too poky, and Halinor announced with a smile that although the rooms were paper-thin it 'wouldn't matter because Ray would be at his shift until dawn'. Reassuring. Halinor's room had a double bed, desk, and closet – just about everything she expected from a college dorm room, except in a separate apartment instead. Posters of Joe Cocker and The Four Tops were expertly pinned up against both closet doors, and their eyes seemed to watch her rather unnervingly wherever she walked. Instead, Kadma honed in on the desk.

Along with the assortment of textbooks and notepads neatly stacked up on her desk top was a framed photograph of the two of them with their graduation certificates, complete in caps and gowns, and sharing a bouquet of unidentifiable flowers (non-toxic Meridian lilies, freshly grown from seeds Kadma had collected on a past mission, but no one outside of their guardian circle needed to know that). She smiled as she traced the embossed frame reading 'best friends' along the bottom. Right. Friends.

Beside it was a group photograph, Nerissa included, which surprised Kadma given the way Halinor had shut down after her betrayal... but they all had different ways of moving on, she supposed. There was also a photograph of Cassidy framed, and it made Kadma's chest tighten.

“Well, here's my room. Make yourself at home.” Halinor straightened her already made bed and perched on it. She'd even tie-dyed her bedsheets, something Kadma knew Halinor's parents wouldn't be happy about if they knew. That said, they weren't happy about a lot of things going on in Halinor's life, and these days she didn't seem to care.

“Quite the place you've got here,” Kadma complimented. She sat down besides Halinor and grinned, before oh so subtly shutting the door without moving a muscle.

“You still have your telekinesis?” murmured Halinor, resting her head against her shoulder.

“About as much as you have your telepathy. It comes and goes.”

Halinor hummed.

“So how's Yanny doing?” she asked instead. “I don't write her very often. I know I probably should, but... I just don't know what to say. She was always closer to Nerissa than we were, so...”

“She doesn't talk to me much,” Kadma admitted. “But I mean, she dropped out of college after what happened, so she's busy working shifts. Sometimes we call. Sometimes I go to the Silver Dragon too, but it's not the same. The two of us have never really known what to say to each other.”

“It's so sad,” murmured Halinor. Kadma agreed. The death of Cassidy had also brought the death of their once inseparable friendship. Yan Lin hardly talked to them anymore, still doing the Oracle's bidding, no doubt. Nerissa was gone, Cassidy was gone. Kadma and Halinor only really had each other left. It would have been a comforting thought, if not for the circumstances.

“I'm tired of being sad,” Halinor continued, sounding defeated and feeble. “It hurt, and it still hurts, but I can't keep living like this, K. I need a life.The past is holding me back from that.”

“That's why you invited me out here, then?” Kadma guessed. She put an arm around Halinor, feeling a little awkward. “You wanted it to be like old times?”

“I guess.” Halinor peeked up at her with big eyes that Cassidy had once affectionately nicknamed 'Halinor's saucers'. The effect of which could make any human being melt, and Kadma in particular was prey to this and had no shame in admitting it. “I just want us to hang out. I found a great place, and I was so excited to tell you, but I thought, you know, maybe it was too soon. So I sent the postcard, half-hoping nothing would come of it. I just don't want you to think that I, that I don't care, because I do, Kadma, I-”

“You don't have to explain it to me, Hal. I know.” She wasn't exaggerating; something about risking ostracising yourself from society to be with a person had a butterfly effect of complete trust and honesty, and Kadma amazed herself with things she knew about Halinor that nobody else could possibly know. It didn't help that before they had been removed from Kandrakar Halinor would often filter whispered thoughts into Kadma's head as she slept, like a broken dam in a stream, overflowing with thoughts. It was Kadma's favourite pastime, listening to Halinor's deeper mind flooding her mind. She missed hearing her voice.

You can still hear it now, if only you'd ask, came Halinor's voice, gentle if not a little amused.

“Preying on a young woman's thoughts. What a cheap tactic to get me to admit how much I've missed this.” Kadma was smiling despite herself, and Halinor tugged her down so they were lying side by side on the bed.

“I'm a college girl now. College girls know how to get what they want.” Halinor's tone, seductive in the silliest way, made Kadma crack up, and Halinor had to shush her despite her own hushed giggles.

“Quiet, you'll wake Ray up,” she giggled, and silenced Kadma with a clumsy kiss that she was all too happy to fall into, even if she was still occasionally laughing into Halinor's closed smile.

“Frenching me now, are you? How bold.”

“Bold's my middle name,” Halinor grinned, peppering Kadma's cheeks and jaw with kisses.

“Well then, Halinor Bold Clarkson, what are our plans tonight? We've got the hard part out the way, so mind telling me what to expect?”

“So eager,” sighed Halinor, feigning disapproval. She tapped a finger against Kadma's chin. “All I'm saying is that we're going out, and there's going to be drinks, and there's going to be music. It's a great place Ray showed me. I've been so excited to take you out. You really want to ruin the fun?”

Kadma huffed and muttered, “No...”

“That's what I thought. We have another few hours, anyway, so lets just talk. How's college?”

“The usual. Still got Miriam Knickerbocker as my childcare project partner. Better than Paulie Tubbs, though. Can't get him off my back...”

…

They were ready.

Ray had left an hour earlier to prep for his bartender shift, leaving Halinor and Kadma to get showered and dressed ready for their night out. Kadma felt a little under dressed, even though she'd adopted a wardrobe more akin to mod fashion over the past few months, and had picked out a pair of slacks and a dark shirt with a white collar. When Halinor saw her she gave small applause.

“Nice look,” Halinor complimented with a grin. “A lot of the people who go to this club are copycat mods, so you'll fit right in.”

Halinor herself was dressed in a simple deep red mini dress patterned around the wide-set collar with pale yellow flowers, with her usual tasselled jacket thrown on and the go go boots from earlier, complimented by canary yellow seamless pantyhose. True hippie to the end.

“Ready to go?” she asked, taking Kadma's hand. Kadma swallowed and nodded.

As Halinor lead her out of the apartment block, she took Kadma around the back, through the parking lot and onto a back alley that seemed to go on forever, leading into one alley after another.

“Are you taking me to a crack house or something?” muttered Kadma. “Seriously-”

“Oh, patience,” chided Halinor. “We're nearly there.”

Finally a sign came into view, with the words The Shrinking Violet reading in neon magenta. The windows were tinted, and the faint din of music could be heard leaking from the chimney. Outside, a few smokers were gathered, talking amongst themselves, all ages, races and genders mingling freely.

Kadma whistled.

“Oh, hush,” whispered Halinor with a grin. “I know it doesn't look like much. It's better on the inside, trust me.”

“I'll take your word for it,” Kadma sighed, allowing herself to be led across the street and into the bar. Inside was a different story entirely.

First was the drag queens. Kadma had never seen a real life drag queen before, though she figured there had to be some in Heatherfield, and they were even more theatrical up close. The queens were lip syncing to a Sandie Shaw song from a couple years back, their movements exaggerated. The air itself was thick with cigarette smoke (despite several signs in the establishment stating for smokers to go outside so they didn't have to crack open any windows), but they didn't so much as bat a fake eyelash.

Then came the people on the dance floor. Manicured nails met manicured nails. Steel-toed shoes met steel-toed shoes. There were the odd mismatch, but most came in pairs that danced the same, held themselves the same. Two girls danced cheek in cheek in the far corner, particularly lost in the song, and they caught Kadma's attention.

“You brought me to a queer bar?!” she gasped, turning to stare at Halinor in shock. “You – but – how did you even-?!”

“I know people,” defended Halinor, though more than anything she looked amused by Kadma's blatant shock. “Liberal arts college is wild, K. You wouldn't believe how easy it is to find stuff like this out.”

“Wish community college was as exciting as all this. The most we have is a gay baseball star, and he's so well built everyone knows not to mess with him. It's infuriating. They say safety in numbers, but I'm too scared of getting decked to approach him!”

Halinor burst out laughing and couldn't contain her laughter as she steered Kadma towards the bar.

“Why thank you for your concern,” Kadma muttered dryly.

“Halinor!” Kadma and Halinor turned to the bartender, and Halinor grinned.

“Ray, hi! You look buzzed.”

“I was just talking to one of the queens, later they're gonna sync to The Supremes, and you know that's gonna put a smile on my face.” Ray, with a dark complexion and wild-eyed curiosity, took in Kadma's appearance and the way that Halinor's hand was clasping hers, and his face split into a wide grin. “You're the one and only Kadma, right? Hallie's little girlfriend?”

Kadma felt her face redden and Halinor rolled her eyes. “Knock it off, Ray. What makes you think Kadma is my girlfriend?”

“Well, you're always talking about how tall your girl back home is,” he pointed out with an impish smile. “Seems pretty tall to me. You also told me she was cool and serious, and Kadma over here is definitely giving off those vibes. Not to mention you're holding hands.”

“Girls can hold hands without being queer, Ray,” retorted Halinor, though she was grinning. Kadma glanced around and from the looks of things, nobody else here was from Heatherfield. At least, there was definitely nobody else here who would know her. She took a deep breath.

“Actually, Ray, you're right. I am Halinor's girlfriend. Now make us some cocktails.”

Halinor stared, then exploded into another infectious fit of giggles as Ray looked amazed she'd actually admitted it. Kadma held her chin high, willing herself not to let on how embarrassed she was right now.

“Yes, ma'am. Yikes. I can see which one of you wears the pants.”

“Ah, I love this place,” sighed Halinor, taking a seat at one of the bar stools. “Kadma admitted to someone that she's my girlfriend! How sweet is that!”

“Don't go shouting that to every new face you see,” retorted Kadma. “I'll deny it.”

“Fair enough.”

Kadma drank in the sight of the bar as Halinor began asking Ray about something or other relating to the rent. The queens had finished up their song and were taking a break, talking animatedly to a pair of men with gelled back hair and shirts almost entirely unbuttoned. A mod tune from an early 60s English band spilled out, lively with an irregular beat, and the slow dancing couples switched up their moves dramatically, trying in vain to keep in time with the ever changing beat. It was pretty amusing to watch.

Around the corners of the dance floor were a few scattered groups; men and women trying really hard not to look gay, clumped together like a support group, supposedly first-timers; women in men's shirts and loose slacks, smoking and talking amongst themselves; teddy boys with rolled up sleeves, bow ties and high pants, laughing and joking and singing along drunkenly; girls in heavy make-up and geometric patterned dresses, or baggy shirts and bell-bottoms, arguing over who was going to pay the tab; drag queens writing on the exposed skin of their adoring fans, blowing them kisses and striking exaggerated poses.

Kadma couldn't say she'd visited a bar before, but this was certainly not how she'd imagined them to be.

“Are all bars like this?” she wondered. “Or is it just everyone's drunkenness and queerness combined?”

“Hard to say,” Halinor giggled, sliding a cocktail towards Kadma. “But I've visited an ordinary bar before, and trust me, this place is much more entertaining.”

Kadma sipped and found it a little hard to believe this was an alcoholic beverage. Her brother Dev would occasionally slip her a beer and it tasted bitter, borderline vile, while this tasted like slightly bitter fruit juice.

“They call it a cosmopolitan,” Halinor explained with a smile. “It's a brand new cocktail. I reckon this is the first gay bar around to serve it!”

The sharpness reminded her of Halinor, quick and cutting when need be, but comfortingly so; a girl never afraid to speak her mind. It felt fitting to share this first drink with her.

One drink turned into three, and by that point Kadma felt a little dizzy with drink. The Supremes were on, and the crowd whooped and cheered as three drag queens, mimicking the singers, stepped up onto the stage and blew exaggerated kisses at the audience.

Halinor grinned and blew them a kiss back, which the front queen mimed grabbing and putting down their cleavage.

“This is the best part of the night,” Halinor explained, grinning as wide as anything. “Trust me. You want to dance?”

“I... sure...”

Kadma couldn't remember the last time she and Halinor had danced together. Prom, maybe? A secret dance behind the bleachers, the faintest music accompanying them. Or some time in a secluded place. At a party in Metamoor's rebellion headquarters, folk music and happy laughter and people who didn't care if a couple was made up of two girls or otherwise. The memories were so faded in her mind. She never wanted them to disappear.

“It keeps me crying baby for you, keeps me sighing baby for you...”

Kadma squeezed Halinor's hand in the darkness.

“I love you,” she murmured, as Halinor led her closer to the stage. The queen mimicking Diana Ross winked at them.

Halinor's expression softened, and she leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Kadma's face began to heat up, and she glanced around nervously. Nobody had seen. Nobody cared, in a place like this.

“I love you too, K.”

Kadma's heart was racing, and she began to giggle, lacing her fingers between Halinor's. Halinor began to laugh too, and the two of them began to spin as the music picked up.

“No matter what you do or say, I'm gonna love you anyway...”

Kadma leaned forward and tentatively, secretly, their lips met as the crowd erupted into cheers – the queens were swaying their hips to the beat of the music and throwing their heads back, reining in the applause. Nobody noticed two young lesbians in the heat of the moment, and for that, Kadma found herself grateful.

…

“The plan was,” Halinor giggled as they staggered back towards her apartment, “t-to loosen up together at the bar, and to propose we have some good old free love afterwards! But, I didn't think we'd get so blitzed!”

Kadma almost tripped over her own feet, both from the drink and from what Halinor had just suggested.

“S-Sex! Halinor Clarkson, that's – I know we talked about it before, b-but – stars, Hal, that's something we gotta plan together!”

“I know...” She giggled again, shaking her head, and clumsily unlocked the front door. Kadma all but planted face first into Halinor's bed.

“I'm sleepy...”

“I didn't realise you'd be such a lightweight,” laughed Halinor. “That's fine, I guess. We have the next few days to talk, before you have to go back.”

Kadma mumbled something incoherently into Halinor's pillow, and after kicking off her shoes, Halinor flopped down onto the bed beside her.

“What was that, K?”

“Mm... love you...”

Kadma's eyes were beginning to close, no matter how she fought to get another glimpse of Halinor's flushed cheeks and heavy eyes before the night was over. She saw her lips pull into a smile, and felt them plant against her cheek as she drifted in and out of sleep.

“Goodnight, my dear.”

Kadma felt Halinor pull a blanket over the both of them, and the last thing that registered in her mind was the feeling of Halinor's hand resting atop hers.

She slept soundly for the first night in months.

#w.i.t.c.h. #c.h.y.k.n. #kadma #halinor #kalinor #kadma x halinor #halinor x kadma #kadma/halinor #halinor/kadma #w.i.t.c.h #c.h.y.k.n #writing