Frodo: Sam and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at me--
Aragorn [sighing]: What did Sam do?
Frodo: He chased them down to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Sam: Who wants a steering wheel?
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Some dialogue that may or may not end up in a fic
Shelob: Well, if it isn't Olorin and his merry band of lucky children.
Shelob: Ahh..we meet again, O mighty Ringbearers...the meal who got away, the wyrm who nearly cut out my eye, and the wretch who failed to deliver what he promised me.
Míli: Hold your tongue. We’ve already slain two Maia.
Shelob: A wheel slayed the first and the other was brought down by dumb luck and his own arrogance. I’d be careful if I were you, child. It takes much more to make a queen than a name, a few won battles, and an ancient Elven blade.
Shelob: Do you know how long I've been here, Olorin? I was the first of our kind to set foot in these lands. I was here long before Sauron, and long before the first stone of Barad-dur was placed. This is MY domain. And since you all so graciously got rid of the leech on the front porch for me, I'm taking it back.
Aragorn: And will you keep it once Gondor's armies learn you are harboring Orcs here?
Shelob: This is their only home, the only place they can turn to.
Gandalf: Whether you like it or not, Shelob, the world has changed. If you wish to keep Mordor in peace, you must build alliances. Do not make the same mistakes your mother did.
Shelob: My mother fell because her heart was weak enough to let the Black Foe in
Sam: You attacked Frodo! You tried to kill him!
Shelob: I tried to remind him his time was fading fast. It's not my fault he was too slow. I knew his hours were numbered before the ring consumed him.
In Western Lands/Sam’s Song in the Tower (Quenya Translation)
Numenoresse nu Anar
Almai cë maiortar
Aiwer valini cë lindar
A Menel alahalda cë
Yo fernë cë rína
Senda cássë taina.
Ni samuva nier oirë:
Na ambela umbari yë
Mordorto eleni mara
Estelye oia vë.
Vá quetuvanye aurena
Tyë polla equë elenna
(I may have cheated a line. Donald Swann’s composition repeats the last couplet: I took that as an opportunity to spread it over two lines. These lines fit the song, so you can sing it if you want.)