#gandalf the grey
Gandalf: I’m heading to the Shire. You need anything?
Thorin: I want my home back.
Gandalf: Yeah, I got 12 gold.
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Bilbo: I don't have any weapons, but I'm going to really give that dragons a piece of my mind.
Gandalf: His words can be very cutting.
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Gandalf at a Took wedding: Am I in hell?
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‘‘It’s been 8 years, Gandalf.’’
‘’It was an accident.’’
‘’ It wasn’t your fault.’‘
‘‘You need to move on’‘
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ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ ooc ╱ ❛ welcome back to me screaming ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ edits ╱ ❛ let’s all agree to never be creative again. ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ answered ╱ ❛ and oh my tongue is a weapon ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ promotions ╱ ❛ my friends !!!!!!!!!! ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ self promotions ╱ ❛ support me mayhaps ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ prompts ╱ ❛ roll for initiative ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ dash games ╱ ❛ it’s all fun and games until someone starts crying ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ shitposting ╱ ❛ i have no fucking idea what’s happening ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ headcanons ╱ ❛ welcome to my worldbuilding ramblings ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ elrond peredhel ╱ ❛ mighty among both elves and man ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ ennadion ╱ ❛ i must rest; my rampage is over ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ gandalf the grey ╱ ❛ for even the very wise cannot see all ends ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ námo mandos ╱ ❛ for we receive the due reward of our deeds ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ turgon ╱ ❛ bold and fiery of heart until the bitter end ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ vardamir nólimon ╱ ❛ the horror you have seen is not who you are ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ caius of the volturi coven ╱ ❛ patron saint of your demise ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ angelika of the romanian coven ╱ ❛ yet here you are ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ sparrow ╱ ❛ death is not your destiny ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ libertus ostium ╱ ❛ war does not determine who is right; it determines who is left. ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ ivellios evergold ╱ ❛ only love and death change all things ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ hans madden ╱ ❛ but in all chaos there is calculation ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ pasheeva maglus ╱ ❛ you were born of the stars dear girl ❜
ღ . ◦ ` ･ﾟ rina dathe ╱ ❛ and all my flowers grew back as thorns ❜
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Gandalf: [To Merry] What the hell did the goats do in here? This place is disgusting! Where is your cousin? PIPPIN!
Pippin: [Crawling past amidst a flock of goats, raises his head and peeks at Gandalf before hiding again] Gandalf is ma-a-a-a-ad; go to the Green Dra-a-a-gon!
Gandalf: [As the goats walk around him] Fool of a Took, I both saw you and recognized your voice.
Pippin: [Not missing a beat] Go ba-a-a-a-ack!
Gandalf: [Reaches into the flock and drags Pippin out by the ear]
Pippin: Gandalf! I, I didn’t know you were back in the Shire! Well, I guess we can all agree this was a great idea! The End! [To the Fellowship’s theme, nervously] Na, na, na-na, Fe-low-ship!
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The Fellowship as Things my Family Does
Warnings: none? Lemme know if there are any
A/N: uh yeah... 😂
Gets called ‘Mom’ when real mom isn’t home. So exasperated that he starts threatening to sell them back to the black market
Drives the riding lawnmower while drinking a beer and head banging to music
Screams as he aggressively cleans the toilet before using it- once ran out of baby wipes so used Lysol Wipes on his ass
(Walking around the house) “Guys don’t look at me, I’m naked- I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK”
Takes a shot of blackberry brandy to get rid of the nasty, sick taste in his mouth, forgets he took cold/flu medicine 30 minutes prior and gets drunk
Sam (real mom)
Stares into space contemplating his life existence as every one argues around him
Sends photos of ugly creatures with the caption “this is you”
Refuses to do any favors for the others unless they give payment (payment is fist bumps)
“Please- please stop making me cookies. My bathroom cannot handle the consequences no more”
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Gandalf: That's it! You're all grounded. Kili, no Tauriel for you. Fili, no knives for you. Bilbo, no books.
Gandalf: And... *looks at Thorin*
Gandalf: Oh my god, is there anything you love?
Gandalf: No vengeance for you.
Thorin: I was gonna say 'I'll get you for this' but I guess that's off the table.
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Gandalf vs Witch king at the gate of Gondor
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Galadriel, looking at into her mirror: I see flames and five- no, seven skeletons carrying your body away, as a murder of crows flies over your head.
Gandalf: Is that good?
Galadriel: No idea. But it looks super badass.
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lotr as onion headlines
"He was there 3,000 years ago, Gandalf"
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So the other night I'd done something I haven't been able to do in a very long time.
I watched a movie!
But not just any movie, no, no. I watched none other than.....!
It was really nice to take some down time to myself and just enjoy a movie! I never realized how much I missed being able to do that when I'd first started doing this whole adulting business. Also side note:
Bilbo Baggins is the biggest fucking mood I'd ever seen in a movie. Like sir, I too get irritated at people who invade my house and clear out my pantry and drag me places that are less than ideal. I too radiate a tired bastard energy, keep being you you beautiful hobbit bastard you.
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