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#Maybe I should post traditional stuff more often

genericpuff · 5 months

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zoo wee mama, the new Hbomberguy video is a RIDE and it's absolutely relevant to everything going on in webcomics. let's talk about it.

youtube

I'm sure a lot of you have heard about this video going around already (it's gotten 2+ million views in just a little over 24 hours) but if you haven't, I highly recommend you set aside time to watch it yourself, I was surprised to see how much he had dug up especially regarding Youtubers that I never suspected were plagiarizing. He also says some very on-point stuff about how we view content creators and plagiarizing in this "do it yourself" industry that really resonated with me because it's stuff I've been saying for years in the webcomic sphere.

I won't spoil the video much because I think it's best experienced watching it for yourself (especially because he's putting all the money he earns off this video towards compensating the people who had their work plagiarized by one Youtuber in particular who's especially guilty... I'm not even gonna mince words, it's James Somerton) but this passage in particular just felt so validating to hear from someone who clearly holds themselves to the standards that more Youtubers - and creators in general - should be holding themselves to:

"I think a lot of people are inclined to protect creators they like on the grounds that plagiarism is a very academic-sounding problem, like something that happens in research papers or journalism, not something that you can do in a silly video made for entertainment purposes. Why are we holding Youtubers to standards? That would be like expecting accurate history from someone whose name has 'historian' in it! Because Youtubers often project a sense of being scrappy, do-it-yourself amateurs, it feels almost wrong to expect them to be professional... but a lot of them are professionals, regardless how authentic their persona may be. Youtubers are now among the most recognizable faces on the planet, and have become immensely wealthy doing this. Some are so influential we literally call them influencers. Maybe it's a good idea to have some standards for not stealing. Maybe." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:35:32

Obviously this has nothing to directly do with webcomics but I do think it's something that reflects very similar behavior within the webcomic community that's, frankly, worth discussing. Many people justifiably want to make a living off their work, want webcomics as a whole to be taken more seriously in the mainstream next to traditional publishing, and for webcomic creators to be taken more seriously as professionals.

But at the same time, I still see a lot of infantilizing of the people in this industry, done by both their fans and the people within it, the idea that being a professional (noun) isn't mutually inclusive of being professional (adjective). It's how we've gotten creators in the past like Snailords, mongie, and yes, Rachel Smythe, who are often shielded by their fanbase on the basis of, "they're just indie comic creators doing what they love, leave them alone!" when they're very much not that, at least not anymore. At least two of those three creators have TV deals (though whether or not they'll make it to the screen is debatable), and all three of them have or have had Webtoons seemingly wrapped around their finger more so than any other creator (though mongie has argued she left Webtoons over unfair treatment, it really doesn't seem like that to the people who know how much mongie was intentionally pushing the rules of what she was allowed to post on the platform, particularly with her Sam x Charles smut).

They are not 'indie creators' anymore and they are not exempt from criticism just because their younger fanbase mistakenly assumes them to be the same age as them. Rachel, mongie, and Snailords are all in their mid-to-late 30's. They all have merchandising deals and either have TV deals or want to have TV deals. They've all been given priority advertising by Webtoons even at the cost of undercutting all the other creators and series on the platform that need it more. They are not "scrappy" creators, they're contractual professionals now and they all do not act like it. Whether it's reacting poorly to criticism or using their characters as a mouthpiece for their own egos or even just using their comics as a poorly disguised fetish, they're all contractual professionals who do not act professional. And they're not the only webcomic creators who do this.

And again, I've talked about this before on here and in the discussions on reddit concerning LO and other webtoons, so it's incredibly validating and refreshing to see Hbomberguy put those feelings into words (albeit about Youtubers, but let's be real, Webtoons is definitely trying to be the "Youtube of webcomics", as is Tapas and other competing webtoon platforms) because that sentiment rings true for a lot of the webtoon creators who have practically failed upwards and only forgo their advertised "professional status" when they're under fire for their actions and writing. Rachel is an "award winning creator" and "self-proclaimed folklorist" until her comic is criticized for its blatant misrepresentation and disrespect towards an entire culture, then all of a sudden "it's just fanfiction". Mongie is the creator of the bestselling series Let's Play until she's called out for racist depictions of Asians and Hispanic people in her work, then all of a sudden she's "just trying to make a fun comic" that's not meant to be taken that seriously. And of course, their audience of teens and young adults who don't know any better keep forgiving them and vehemently defending them because they wrongfully assume that these creators are scrappy teens just like themselves who just started making webcomics for fun and then achieved fame and glory overnight (which they're not!)

We should be having bigger discussions about what awaits the webcomic and "content creator" industry as a whole in the future and what standards we should be holding creators and their work to. We can't possibly expect these mediums to be taken seriously as a professional industry if we don't set better expectations for the quality of the work that's being created and the creators who are building these platforms for themselves.

"In current discourse, Youtubers simultaneously present as the forefront of a new medium, creative voices that need to be taken seriously as part of the 'next generation of media'... and also 'uwu smol beans little babies who shouldn't be taken seriously when they rip someone off and make tens of thousands of dollars doing it." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:36:18

#hbomberguy #webtoon critical #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical #let's play critical #Youtube

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katiky-png · 1 year

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mumscarian propaganda! (not really haha)

HEY THERE FELLOW FOLLOWERS (MAYBE) if you're not following you should totally you know you know ;)

IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING ART HAHAHAHA

I've been doing more traditional stuff recently as it's just easier for me to develop my style.

When I grow more comfortable with digital art I'll definitely start posting more often!!

For now, please enjoy some of the things I drew in my friend's sketchbook!

bonus joel:

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1d1195 · 10 months

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Traditional XI

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

Thank you so much for the love and support on this story. She and Harry have definitely turned into one of my favorite couples I've had the pleasure of writing about. As an aside, I will be posting a long overdue "how my taglist works" (because I a tumblr-elder and don't know what I'm doing anymore). But for those of you that have been tagged throughout the series, please check out the message at the bottom.

This is the final part (not including the extras I have lined up.) There's a bit of angst and a good bit of fluff. It follows part ten immediately and I also continued with marking the days/time because I think it made it a bit easier to follow.

Truly, really, thank you so much. Part 1-11 is 67k words and I’ve enjoyed typing each one. I hope you continue to enjoy reading. Without further ado:

“She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

Monday

“I’ll kill him,” Louis shouted, almost proudly as he entered the apartment. She shook her head and just burst into tears as she told him about all the things Harry did. While he was prepared to murder him, Louis’ heart softened with each task Harry completed to make sure his best friend was cared for. It was everything he ever hoped for the girl he thought of as one of his own sisters. He wouldn’t kill Harry. He couldn’t...not if he did all that for her.

Eleanor combed her fingers through her hair while the poor girl cried in her lap. Louis was frowning, glancing at Eleanor every so often as she spoke. “Babe,” Louis whispered when she finished her story.

She sniffled. “I don’t know why I did that,” she croaked. “That was so stupid, who does that? You should have seen the look on his face. He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Of course, he will,” Eleanor said easily shaking her head. Her voice was so solid, like she had already talked to Harry about it and knew with every fiber of her being. Louis crouched beside her wiping the tears out of her eyes as comfortingly as he could. “Harry loves you, darling,” Eleanor reminded her.

“Why was I so mean?” She choked on another sob. “I’d hate me. I was so heartless.”

“You were overwhelmed, love,” Eleanor promised. “That was a lot to take in, all in one day. But he meant the best and brightest for you. You have to believe that. Harry has never done anything but try to make sure you’re taken care of.”

She took in a shaking breath as more tears poured out of her; she was so unhappy with how she handled the whole day. Maybe she was overwhelmed. That would at least have made some sense. There was so much to be overwhelmed about. Everything she had been bottling up. All of which was threatening to burst because it just had to be one of those weeks where it all just piled and piled until it all crumbled down.

“Babe,” Louis whispered trying to stop the tears from falling but failing because they kept coming faster than he could swipe her cheeks. “C’mon.”

“I know you all went to the funeral for my dad,” she sniffled. She may as well have wallowed in the hurt a bit more. They needed to know she knew. “I know they had one...I saw it in the online obituary.”

They were silent for a minute. Louis didn’t move his eyes from hers for a moment. He pressed his lips together in a thin line. So of course, she knew she was right. They did hide it from her.

However, Louis wasn’t going to forget that she let them hide it. He stared at Eleanor for a moment; having some silent conversation that only the two of them could have. The entire time she continued crying. Eleanor gave her a comforting squeeze as best she could with her sprawled across her lap.

“I think you’re scared,” Eleanor whispered without addressing her comment about the services.

“El,” Louis’ voice wasn’t a whisper like it had been directed at the sobbing girl. His tone wasn’t gentle. It was like he was warning her not to continue.

“Scared of what?” She sniffed because she may have heard the warning in Louis’ voice, but she was already miserable. It couldn’t be worse than what she felt.

“Tell her, Louis. Tell her,” Eleanor begged. She turned her attention back to her best friend.

Louis reminded her so much of her brother, she wondered if he would have been as wise as Louis was if he were still around. Even for the goofball he made himself out to be, Louis was nearly sagely at his age. He was the one she went to for advice. The one she asked for help when she needed to get Harry a birthday gift. If she was stuck in the middle of nowhere, she was pretty sure she would still call Louis first. He was her best friend because he always knew what to say to her and even if it was hard to hear he always told her the hard truths.

She could see on his face that it was going to hurt to lay whatever he was about to say in front of her if only because she was already so heartbroken. “Being cared for,” he bit the inside of his lip, but he didn’t break his gaze with her. “You think it’s a death sentence,” he told her. His tone was soothing, even though the words were not. “Because when your brother came to get you, he tragically died. Don’t think I’m forgetting that. But then, your parents stopped caring for you...so it was like...you associated the two,” he explained. “And then, you didn’t tell me. So, in your mind, caring for you is a death sentence for those that love you.”

She was speechless. Her sniffles slowed, which allowed her to sit in the upright position, but Eleanor still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. She swallowed as she listened to him speak without hiccupping on her breath. “Do you really think we wouldn’t have let you live with us?” Eleanor asked softly from beside her. “The only one that thought you needed to get your own space was you...and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you got Harry out of the deal, but you could have lived with us for forever,” she smiled gently at her.

She stared at the two of them and Louis looked at her tear-stained face with a frown. “Love,” he said so gently. “You have spent so long building up walls making sure you take care of everyone in your life because the last time you stopped taking care of someone else and had fun of your own, something horrible and tragic happened,” She looked away from him, sniffling uncontrollably. “But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. No matter how many times your mum says it was...no matter how many times you sit next to his gravestone and feel guilty for it. He would have gone and got you and he would have turned that steering wheel to protect you over, and over, and over again,” she couldn’t look at Louis when he talked about it. It was his best friend, and she just took him away forever...all for a party. “I would have done it for you, babe,” he promised. She hated the idea of that too so much that she let out another whimpering sob. “Now, so would Harry,” he told her, and the pang of anxiety at the mere idea Harry would fatally hurt for her rippled all through her body she felt sick at the idea...it hurt all the way to her toes and made her fingertips feel numb.

But Louis pressed on making it hurt even more but with every intention of making it better. “You can’t keep your guard up forever. You can’t stop people from taking care of you because you miss him and worry about the consequences of them taking care of you,” he said. “We all take that risk for someone we love,” he brushed the tears off her cheeks once more as they were finally slowing to a pace he could keep up with. She refused to look at him. But Louis wouldn’t accept that. “Babe,” he said turning her chin back to him. “Let someone else take care of you. Let Harry do it. You’ve done it for long enough.”

Tuesday

Niall found Harry throwing the lamp on his desk against the wall of his office so hard he was surprised the wall didn’t shatter. But the lamp certainly did. Nearly splintered into a hundred pieces. He flopped into his desk chair and hung his head practically between his knees.

“Christ, the two of you today,” he grumbled hoping to find Harry in better shape than his typically better mood intern. Obviously, that would not be the case. “What’s wrong?” He asked, closing the door.

Harry ran a hand over his face. He wanted to cry but he was at work, and he shouldn’t have. “She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

His gaze snapped up to Niall and he mouthed the word whoa. If Niall said it out loud, he didn’t hear it. He was shocked by the redness of Harry’s eyes, the withdrawn look. He knew it was bad when she could hardly keep track of what she was doing this morning. It was worse than when her coffee spilled all over her things a few months ago.

But seeing his best friend so distressed…

He was awarded the slightest bit of relief to hear the word “no” at the other end. It washed over him as he rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, alright. Thanks,” he mumbled hanging up. He sat in his chair, and he glanced at Niall balling his hands into fists. “She gave back all the money,” he mumbled.

Niall did the easy and quick calculations in his head regarding the last eight or so months. “Whoa.”

Harry told him all about the reference calls, the graduation ceremony, and the lawyers’ meeting with her mum, and the good news. He told Niall how he paid for her student loans and kept all of it hidden from her. Harry tried to hide the tears in his eyes, but Niall knew they were there in his voice as he listened.

“Harry...you gotta just talk to her.”

“M’pretty sure she hates me.”

“That’s a load of shit, alright,” Niall said knowingly. “She loves you.” Harry felt his heart hoping a bit by way of fluttering against his ribs. He shook his head. He didn’t want to hope because she looked betrayed, and it was all his fault. Niall shook his head. “She’s all snively and you’re all angry. You two are quite the pair. You could have a show.”

He wanted to throw something at Niall, but he was too exhausted to hold his head up, let alone hold anything worth throwing—and he wouldn’t really throw something at his best friend. So, he sat there, devastated that she gave him the money back. It worried him to the core. It seemed his new fear of her leaving that apartment was going to be real, sooner rather than later.

And if she left Styles Incorporated…

“She said that you needed this today,” Niall shrugged and put a folder on Harry’s desk in front of him. He winced knowing she was still helping even when she was upset with him. “Tragic that I have to play messenger,” he shook his head. “I hope you talk to her.”

But Harry didn’t want to press. It was obvious he pressed too much and now he had to wait for her to forgive him.

Maybe.

Wednesday

She didn’t come to work.

There was nothing else to say.

There was nothing he could think about except that she didn’t come to work.

He didn’t get to see her. All day and an entire near-sleepless night. He impulsively shopped for items scheduled to be delivered the following day. Items he didn’t need but he needed to get for her...even if she never set foot in his house again.

There was nothing else he could think about.

Thursday

Niall brought his tea to him that afternoon.

So, a new nightmare plagued him, and he continued to think of nothing else but the distance she was putting between them.

Friday

For the second time in his life, and moreover, the second time within a year, Harry left work early. Niall was insistent. He was agitated beyond belief, his one meeting he was completely distracted that Niall did most of the talking. Harry’s company was substantial, but surely, she couldn’t avoid him on the entire floor.

But she did. She managed somehow to avoid him even when he kept going in and out of Niall’s office and thereby walking through her little space. But she wasn’t there a single of the seven or so times he walked through. At one point he walked in for the sake of walking in. Niall was on the phone with a client. Harry just shook his head and left before even registering the fact Niall was there.

It was after the meeting that Niall encouraged him to leave for the day. “I don’t need to,” he snapped at his friend. “Jus’ get on with it,” he muttered.

Niall sighed, blew a long breath out his mouth. He packed his belongings from off the table and patted Harry on the back. “Meeting’s over, Harry,” he said and left him alone in the conference room.

He knew he was in tough shape but not even realizing the meeting was over seemed bad even for the way he was feeling. Rubbing the back of his head, he headed once more to Niall’s office. This time he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t there. Harry apologized to Niall quickly, returned to gather his stuff from his office, and left for home.

“Harry went home, so you don’t have to keep hiding,” Niall rolled his eyes as she tentatively tiptoed into her office. He didn’t look up, so he didn’t see the way she nearly dropped all of the papers in her arms at Niall’s sudden (accurate) accusation that she was hiding.

She bit her lip and put the papers on her desk. Niall didn’t look up as she walked toward his desk. “I yelled at him,” she whispered.

“Good, he probably deserved it,” Niall said simply. “People don’t yell at him enough. Think because he’s CEO, he’s without a flaw,” he shrugged. “He’s not, I’ve never seen him finish one document on his own because he never remembers how to fill it out. The man can’t multiply to save his life—I always do the tip at the restaurant. He has a terrible signature on contracts. It’s embarrassing to sign my name next to his. Also, he has a terrible handicap even though he’s been golfing for at least seven or so years now,” he said as if that should be the reason that she could yell at him. He looked up and smiled at her because it was an attempt to make her laugh but didn’t seem to do the trick.

“He’s also really cranky when he doesn’t see you at night now,” this was much softer said. His voice quiet as he further explained this. “And he bothers me. Called me at one in the morning last night asking if I wanted a porch swing. Do you know he has an online shopping problem? It’s worst when he's upset. He panic-ordered three sets of dishware when you got burned,” he continued. Her heart fluttered at the mention of a porch swing. It shot through her like a bolt of electricity. That was because of her. She knew it. But Niall’s attempt still got him not even a smirk. “You should probably go after him,” he smiled at her sadly once more. “You need to talk to him.”

She shook her head. “He won’t forgive me.”

Niall rolled his eyes again. “Would you forgive him if this whole crazy scenario was reversed?”

She looked at her feet because she wouldn’t even need to forgive him. It would be a non-issue. “I see why Harry made you his sous-chef around here,” she muttered...because yes, of course she would. Probably before he even tried to apologize, at that.

“I knew there was a reason,” he winked at her. “Have a lovely weekend, darling,” he said going back to the documents on his desk.

“Are you sure?” She whispered after a moment.

“He loves you. I promise.”

“But all the other interns...the...companions. I’d be no different falling all over him.”

“He fell for you long before you did,” he told her simply.

She swallowed, blushing at the notion. Her stomach flipped with hope. “Do you know he went to the funeral?” She whispered.

Niall frowned because he didn’t know that, but he did know that had to hurt her. He looked back up to meet her gaze and he smiled gently at her. “Another reason you should yell at him.”

“You’re a really good friend, Niall,” she rolled her eyes.

“Can’t wait to be one of your best friends, love,” he winked.

She took one more deep breath, hurried over to Niall’s desk. She kissed his cheek as he worked. He smiled. “Sorry I’m taking your job,” she whispered to him.

He threw his head back a bit and laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” but he didn’t mind, really. It would be worth it to have her around.

The driver was waiting at the edge of the cemetery. She took her wedges off so she wouldn’t get them covered in dirt as she sat cross-legged on the ground. She fiddled with the flowers—Eleanor probably planted them. Or maybe even her mom. She was surprised because there weren’t as many weeds pushing through the ground as there should have been—especially when she took notice of the other stones nearby. “I think you’d really like him,” she whispered. Of course, there was no response. “Louis likes him,” she told him. “So...there’s that,” she shrugged. “And he has a porch swing,” she added. “We’re not even together and he still didn’t cheat on me, so he beat the last guy, y’know?” she smirked sadly. “I wish you could’ve met him...”

She paused, looking around the grounds for a moment before she continued. “If you look, you can see a car over there, yeah? That poor man has to follow me everywhere because Harry doesn’t want me to get stuck without a ride in inclement weather or something,” she whispered, smiled sadly. “I’m so in love with him, I swear I can feel it in the atoms of my heart,” her eyes watered. “I gave him all the money back. I want him to know that I’m not...I don’t want money. I just want him,” she told him. “I know you would probably hate the idea of me being in love with anyone...but at least I waited until college...poor El stuck with Louis for the rest of her life,” she sighed as if it really were a tragedy. But it wasn’t. She loved Eleanor and Louis so much.

“Niall said he’s really bad at golf though, so you could still make fun of him about something,” she let out a watery laugh. “I miss you...so much,” she whispered. “I hope Dad is happy again,” she glanced over at the nearby plot of land. “He missed you,” she sniffled. “We all miss you,” her voice cracked. “Okay...I’m gonna go grovel for forgiveness, now,” she said. “I’ll see you soon,” she kissed two of her fingers and pressed them over his name before getting off the ground, brushing the dirt off, and headed for the car.

“Are you alright, Miss?” He asked with the utmost concern. He was opening the door for her as she approached.

She nodded, sniffling, and wiping her eyes. “For now,” she sighed. “Can you bring me to Harry’s?” She asked.

Harry didn’t want to answer the door. But whoever was on the other side knocked, then rang the doorbell. Knocked again. Doorbell again. Persistent.

If it was Niall coming to console him, he was going to kill him, simple as that. “For fucks sake,” he grumbled marching to the door in an angry fit. “Niall, y’made me leave early, and I did. What d’you want?” He snapped loud enough to hear through the door before ripping it out of the way.

She flinched at his harsh tone. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked so defeated as she turned her gaze to the ground. His heart hammered against his ribs in total shock that she was there. Left him utterly speechless. “I know this is stupid...” she started. “I’m sorry. It’s not enough because you deserve so much more than sorry. It’s never going to be enough, but I am so... very sorry. I was...” she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I was. What I said was so hurtful and so untrue. You have to believe that,” she was staring at her feet while she spoke. “Harry,” her voice cracked, and she was so worried it wasn’t enough. He didn’t make any noise and she was certain if he didn’t forgive her, she would die in that spot. “I know you didn’t mean anything by what you did other than to help me. But I don’t accept help very well... in case it wasn’t obvious. Especially when it comes to something like...my career or my...past,” she explained. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you; I shouldn’t have said such awful things and I would time travel back to that moment and slap myself for even thinking about speaking to you like that. It was horrible,” she shook her head. “I’ll beg every day for as long as you want if you’ll forgive me,” she whispered. “I am—”

Harry pulled her into his arms suddenly, one arm around her waist, the other snaking up her back to hold the back of her head. He clutched her against him as tightly as he could without hurting her or inhibiting her breathing. “You were already forgiven,” he murmured breathing deeply into her hair. He kissed the side of her face. She released a long breath and buried her face against the side of his neck.

“You shouldn’t give in so easily,” she sniffled clinging back to him like he was a buoy. Of course, he kept her afloat.

“I’ll yell at you later if that’ll make you feel better.”

She nodded. “It really would.”

He smiled, kissed the side of her head again. Harry wouldn’t yell at her if his life depended on it. “I jus’ want t’take care of you,” he promised. “That’s it.”

“I know, you told me that first day you messaged me.” He smirked thinking about how a year ago, she wasn’t in his mind at all. He didn’t even know she existed. Now, he thought about spending one second without her beside him and it seemed like full-blown torture. “Louis said I take care of everyone else because the last time someone cared about me, they died,” she said bluntly. “Seven years of therapy and Louis was the only one who said it,” she muttered. Harry was glad she was tucked below his chin because he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. It was incredible she could make a joke in even the saddest of circumstances. She took a shivering, heaving breath. Harry tried to pull back so he could see her, but she squeezed him in place. Like she didn’t want to say it while looking at him. He nodded in encouragement for her to continue. “People will know if you hire me. You’d literally be making a position for me. And so… I thought if I got a job elsewhere... we could…” she swallowed the lump in her throat. She tucked her face deeper in his shoulder. “I…uh...”

He pulled back this time and didn’t stop when she tried to hold him in place. He pressed his hand to the side of her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “Thought we could be a real couple?” He asked softly.

Her cheeks turned red as ever and she nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

He didn’t pause for even half a second. He didn’t want her to make her feel embarrassed or worried about anything regarding their future. “Kitten, m’so in love with you, I don’t care if we tell the entire world. I don’t care if everyone knows or if no one knows. All that matters t’me is that I love you so much.”

Her eyes watered and her heart melted. She didn’t know how to tell him she loved him so much it hurt but he said it so beautifully and without a care. She didn’t know how to articulate it as perfectly as he did. “They should really put a warning on that site about how you may accidentally find your soul mate.”

He managed to smile this time for just a mere moment as she spoke; his heart skipped beats waiting for her to say she loved him back. While she didn’t say it exactly as he thought she would (but when did she ever do what he expected?), it was exactly what he wanted her to say and meant just as much if not even more.

Then he kissed her so deeply he thought he might bruise her lips. But if he did, he thought she might not even mind.

Harry lifted her legs, so they were wrapped around his hips. He carried her all the way to the kitchen, pausing only to kick the door closed. He settled her on the counter and started looking for some medicine. He didn’t ask if her head hurt because the redness in her eyes told him it was aching.

“You have t’take the money back,” Harry said leaning down to take her shoes off as she swallowed the medicine. He tossed them toward the TV room. “I shattered a lamp over it,” he stood back up and kissed her again on the forehead.

“Niall told me,” she smirked at him. He stood between her knees.

“Can’t have any secrets with him,” Harry muttered.

She giggled and Harry pressed his lips to hers again then pulled back so he could hold her face between his hands. He smiled at her with a shake of his head. “God, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled.

“Mm... the bloodshot eyes? The tired dark circles? The gray skin? That does it for you?”

“M-hmm,” he pressed his nose along the side of her face inhaling the mixture of her hair and soap. He didn’t cater to her insults to herself. “Take the money back,” he mumbled into her ear and pressed a series of kisses down the length of her neck. She shook her head trying to ignore the dizziness she felt from his lips on her skin. “Please kitten,” he was begging. Objectively, it was adorable. But she couldn’t accept it.

“Baby, you can’t pay me a salary, pay my student loans, and let me live here all—”

“You’re going t’live here?” He pulled back from her neck suddenly with a sparkle in his eyes that made it look like he was a little kid. Like it was Christmas, and he was getting the sled he asked for.

Her face was definitely not gray at that moment. She was completely blushing almost beyond recognition at her mistaken words. She shook her head quickly, trying to backtrack (uselessly). “No! I meant the apartment! I didn’t say that—”

“Please, please, please,” he now for sure, full-on begged. “Please live here, kitten.”

Her heart fluttered and she bit her lip trying to recover from how much she had revealed by accident. “Well...what am I supposed to do with all my great IKEA furniture?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his face back into her neck. She wrapped her arms and legs around him clinging to him. “Throw it out, of course.”

“You’re so mean.”

He nodded against her and sighed, so happy she was there. So happy she was all his. “The meanest,” he assented. “Please live here,” he mumbled kissing the curve where her shoulder and neck met.

“You do have a porch swing,” she amended verbally but as if she were weighing the consideration in her head. His lips on her skin had such an effect on her it was hard to stand her ground or concentrate on joking around with him about the idea. “Speaking of—Niall told me you asked if he wanted one. Are you getting a new one or someth—what’s that?” She asked, glancing out the window as she spoke. She pushed him away immediately, rushing outside. She stood on his porch in total shock staring at his newest purchase before she turned back to him with a curious expression.

He followed behind her and stood in the doorway. “You said you would sleep out here if you could,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d make it possible...in case you ever came back.”

Where her favorite porch swing used to hang, was now a spacious, gorgeous, porch bed with so many pillows, so many blankets, and it nearly looked comfier than her lovely mattress back at the apartment. Her eyes watered and she swallowed so hard because she knew she had said that nearly three months ago in passing. And he remembered. So even when she wasn’t speaking to him, it was enough that he did something for her without knowing if she’d really be back. “You are something else, Harry.”

“Wait till y’see my new canopy bed,” he smirked feeling his cheeks warm at her compliment. Her heart nearly stopped because the canopy was mentioned almost nine months ago and the idea that he remembered anything from nine months ago was...well it was very Harry and very perfect.

“Baby, I love you and your impulse shopping so very much,” she whispered unable to look away from that beautiful reminder of how much he adored her. It made her feel so light that he cared for her so much. Now that he did, it was hard to imagine not feeling like this ever again.

Harry had other ideas though. He twisted her so quickly, her breath caught in her throat. He turned her back to face him and not the new bed. One arm wrapped around her waist, and he brought his other hand to her cheek in the one instant that she couldn’t even stumble because Harry had such a tight hold on her. He smiled at her, as if he was just told he won the lottery. Truly, he felt like he did. “Say it again,” he mumbled pressing his forehead to hers, his lips almost brushing hers as he spoke. She smiled shyly, the heat coming from her cheek warmed Harry’s hand.

“Say what? I love you?” She asked looping her arms loosely around his neck. He nodded silently and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you,” she grinned so cutely Harry thought he would burst.

“Again,” he mumbled smiling as he carefully squeezed around her waist to lift her just so her toes hovered above the ground. She giggled.

“I love you.”

He kissed her left cheek. “More,” he inched toward the new outdoor bed.

“I love you,” she whispered, giggling more at his sweet request as he kissed her right cheek.

“Again,” he repeated.

“I love you, so, so much Harry Styles,” she whispered, holding his face between her hands, and Harry laid her back on the bed and kissed her again, fully on the lips with no intention of leaving that space for the rest of the weekend. Or until she asked to go see the canopy bed.

Whatever she wanted.

taglist: @tpwkstiles @matildasatellite @jessitpwk @jerseygirlinca @stylesfever @tiredinwinter @ameerakane20 @kimmi-kat @avasversion @youcouldstartacult @likeapplejuicenpeach @manrocket-mo @golden-hoax @harryssky1 @michellekstyles @soachibstel1 @morklee02 @loving-hazz @harrysflorencex @cherrycolas-things @emma34501 @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @foreverxholland @daphnesutton @narry-heart

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :) When I do the extras/check-in blurbs I will tag you in those as well (unless you don't want to be, just lmk) Thank you all so much for being part of this nice little taglist for me, it's very special to me 💕

#harry #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #ceo!harry #sugardaddy!harry #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #one direction #one direction writing #tradtional

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miscling · 17 days

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quirky role thoughts.

something's got me thinking about how i love breaking expectations in kink roles, in a way that's kinda subconscious and automatic. like every so often i pop out a post that's like that without thinking. a kink but with a surprise twist that completely changes the dynamic.

like, i'm leaning into mommysub things. i'm kind, nurturing, loving, caring, but also totally submissive to my kiddos, free for them to use in whatever way they need because i can't say no to them. i might have the role of mommy, but i'm subservient to their needs.

my goddess thoughts were all about the goddess serving her people, blessing them and letting them use her in whatever way they needed, because a goddess should be useful to her people. when the people worship and pray, they use her holy body.

my drone programming is an unusual mix of code that gives me a unique personality matrix. i like custom programming on top of my custom OS. having users, a sysadmin, or developers working with my OS and writing their own code for it.

as a catgirl, i'm a stray. i want an owner, but like, my actual perception of cats is that someone doesn't own them so much as the cat owns them. my 'owner' feeds and plays with me, but i'm still my own creature - just like most kitties if we're being honest.

as a ditz, i kinda find a lot of bimbo stuff missing me because i like being... well not smart, but wise. i love the idea of the hyper-competent ditz. slutty, nice, and dumb, but is an absolute genius in their special interest focuses.

when playing with puppygirls, i really like the idea of having a working dog rather than a pet. i'm not dommy enough to really know what i'm thinking there. a working dog that is trained to care for me and provide for me, actually controlling me through its training.

my funniest trait is being a masochist (and ticklee) who is super cheerful about wanting people to play with and hurt me. i'm like, cheerful about suggesting my tops can go further and do more. not in a bratty way, but in a playful encouraging way.

so the pattern is kinda like, being submissive and usable (like i am so so so submissive and obedient), but also kinda autonomous? maybe it's about confidence and being assured of my own worth? or maybe i have a bit more of a forward personality, despite having no interest in taking leading roles?

i still want a dominant to take charge and lead me, to control me, to decide for me, but i think there's many ways of expressing that, and i like ones that break expectations.

it's definitely an unusual way to be subby, for sure, but no less valid or interesting than other kinds of subs. and somewhat unexpected compared to some of the more traditional expressions of those dynamics.

i'm curious what other people think!

#miscling rambles #i'm maybe processing some things #i've been trying to work out what i want lately #because at the moment i'm not playing as much as i'd like #anyway that's enough rambling

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idialover · 8 months

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!!NSFW!!!

My friends and I have a tradition of playing "does this character have sex" whenever we get into a new piece of media, because we always enjoy everything together, and today we spent a few hours discussing TWST charactrs. They found out that I now have a Tumblr blog and told me I should "post our very scientific findings for the interwebs" (Note that we are all between the ages of 16-17, so in the same age group as the characters)

Heartslabyul (general judgement): The virgin one

Riddle: no, and he somehow doesn't even know what sex is. You'd think he'd know with how much he studies about everything you learn in school, so even sex-ed but no, he doesn't know

Ace: gray area, no bitches respectfully, except maybe Deuce, but we couldn't agree on that, he would treat it as "it's just a prank bro, no homo"

Deuce: yeah, sure, I mean he's pretty okay looking, not often tho

Cater: he seems like he'd be a dicord kitten or an insta-thot, he tries but doesn't really succeed, maybe once or twice.

Trey: no, because he actually wears a fedora, unironically. "he's as bland as the flour he uses in his cakes"-my friend#2

Savanaclaw (general judgement): Gahdayumm!!

Leona: YES! absoulutley 100% just look at him, but he'd be one of those lazy tops, is very casual about it, there isn't a lot to say because it's just so obvious that he is 100% a sex haver

Ruggie: Hard to say, he has an Italian souding name so maybe no, he hasn't yet discovered that he can earn quite a lot of money that way, or maybe he has (we couldn't agree on this)

Jack: gay wolf boyfirend fantasy so yes, big buff man go brrrr

Octavinelle (general judgement): ehhhh, fish go brrr

Azul: this was a very hard one to decide but in the end no, no real reason just doesn't seem like he would have it, he's on that alpha buisness grindset

Jade: Yes becazse friend#1 said so (she's a strong Jade stan) and everyone decided to let her have this one, but everybody else generally thinks he is Asexual (friend#1 is also ace)

Floyd: yes, he is bisexual in wicked and scheming ways and everybody is aware of that. Chaos bi, him and Jade are two side of a coin, all or nothing. He flirts by messing with people, mostly Riddle but as I've already said Riddle has no idea what's going on and just thinks Floyd has it out for him

Scarabia (general judgement): This was the hardest one to discuss

Kalim: He is very lovable, but no, for unknown reasons, boy has 0 rizz

Jamil: yeah, ig, normal 17 year old guy, he isn't basic like Trey, but he just doesn't have time because of Kalim

Pomefiore (general judgement): slayyy!

Vil: Yes, and his standards are surprisingly not as high as you'd think, we got very heated about how people often mischaracterize him as a very vain but he just wants people to be themselves and best version of themselves. Good for cardio

Rook: yes, in freaky kinky ways (see Rook alchemy card) he sometimes has touble finding people who are into the same stuff as him

Epel: no, beacause he is an "alpha male" in the worst ways possible

Ignihyde (General judgement): you'd think they be reddit mods, but they actually tumblr sexymen

Idia: yes, he has that disheveled rizz, the more they look like they haven't left the house since 2015 the better. We stan broken men in this household(blog), only on halloween tho that's when his confidence get's a bit better and he becomes and active member of society

Ortho: he is a robot based on a young child! NO!

Diasomnia (General judgement): oooh spooky~~

Malleus: yeah sure

Silver: gray are (they demanded I make that pun, pls forgive me)

Lillia: He is the most slay character, an old vampire/fae obviously yes. He has a lot of experience, best sex haver he's so amazing, Lillia for the win

Sebek: no

Staff (general judgement): a very mixed bag

Crowley: someone somwhere slept with him, he is kinda usless but he gets laid, look at his vacation outfit

Crewel: Definetly, high standards but he is correct, he gets to have high standards, he is the perfect man, not a DILF but also not not one

Trein: yes, loyal to his wife (rip tho), good husband 10/10 would trust him, good man

Vargas: Yeah, he's a typical good looking guy, he has never had a long term relationship but he doesn't want one

Sam: We debated for a long time and decided that yes he does have sex

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southshoretides · 4 months

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There was a great post I saw a while back but lost about the ideological lens of media criticism that went like "Your average Reylo-hater doesn't hate it because she thinks Rey is not submitting to Kylo as a wife rightfully should, they hate it because it normalizes abuse. People who really hate Avatar tend to think it's colonialist, not that the humans are failing to teach the Na'vi about Christianity. People who hate Harry Potter in 2024 hate it because it's a story about rich prep school kids growing up to become feds plus the trans stuff etc, not because books about magic are Of The Devil."

In other words, you can only say that shaming campaigns/social-media mobbing for people who like Problematic Content is inherently a conservative (i.e. bad) thing (which is an argument I see over and over again, and not just on Tumblr) if you define 'conservative' as entirely divorced from its object-level goals (re: family, religion, law and order, etc) and round it off to "telling people that their feelings are invalid or immoral," with the implied inverse being that it's unprogressive to ever criticize someone's tastes in media.

And I guess that's internally consistent if your modal progressive is a live-and-let-live hippie with a high openness-to-experience and agreeability scores, that's internally consistent. But it's 2024 and if that's your modal progressive, I'm wondering why. Part of the reason this sort of stuff gets me genuinely worked up in a way little else does these days is that it seems so willfully, deliberately ignorant of the last ten years of cultural change, and it often comes from people who really ought to know better.

Because if you listen to the sort of people who hate Problematic Content, you will find that they indeed don't care about media spreading the Gospel, or enforcing traditional heteronormative values, or being patriotic, in fact they have contempt for all those things (which are, yes, themselves, kind of hall-of-mirrorsy concepts, but the important point here is that most conservatives define themselves as favorable to those concepts).

But what they do care about is media that enforces harmful stereotypes, or causes harm to marginalized groups, or defends capitalism/nationalism/etc, and other things conservatives don't really care about. And it is entirely internally consistent to say "I hold progressive values XYZ, I think that fiction that opposes my values will weaken them, ergo I want to ban or suppress fiction that opposes my values." There's nothing inherently un-leftist about that, the Soviet bloc did it for decades! There are millions and millions of people who think that way who openly and proudly despise all things conservative and Republican.

Thousands of words have been spilled about what happened to the left in the 10s, how they willingly took on the pro-censorship, pro-word-police mantle once various proto-Trumps and the big guy himself ran in the opposite direction. Maybe the last few years of things (somewhat, sorta) swinging back the other way have made people forget. (And I put 'in 2024' up there for a reason: the battlefield really was very different as little as 15 years ago. But now it's not.)

But I think it's more likely that people who think you can't be both censorious and a progressive are simply still unwilling to truly accept that, that we have this whole class of people who may say the right things and vote the right way on green fuel and gay rights and whatever else, who claim the mantle of progressives, but are as strict and paranoid and closed-minded as any conservative in practice when it comes to anything outside their comfort zone, just as dependent on whisper campaigns and public moral grandstanding and consent-manufacture as the conservatives they hate.

And this is embarrassing for leftists who don't believe in media censorship, so they try to write these guys off as infected by enemy memes, or double agents, or just hopelessly confused. Either way, they're not real progressives, because they're not how I'd prefer progressives to be. And like again, fine, you can do that, but we have a term for that behavior, not a complimentary one. "Progressives don't ban books" only hold true insofar as progressives don't ban books--that the people with the levers of power in the progressive movement refrain from doing that.

Ultimately, a book banned for reasons of blah blah Jesus morals Christian America is a banned book, and a book banned for reasons of blah blah privilege historical inequity triggers trauma is a banned book, and no clever rhetoric can get you around that.

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thanathiccalabs · 1 month

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Burakh

Burakh from Pathologic the Musical - Indonesian Version/Cover/Translation/Translyrics

Title: Burakh English Lyrics, Music: @pathologic-the-musical Indonesian Lyrics, Vocals, Audio Editing: @thanathiccalabs (yours truly) Version: 4 (not final, I think)

(he/him pronouns, please. Thank you.)

I'm so happy to finally record this song! Instead of singing another song as "Sang Sarjana" ("the Bachelor"), I'm doing a song by "Sang Penafsir"* ("the Haruspex"). I sang this like I'm in an opera choir just so it's in a different style from my Dankovsky's fiery, breathy singing... enjoy my attempt at solemnity.

Lyrics, recording notes, and translation notes under the cut.

Indonesian Lyrics

Burakh

ARTEMY: Lama nian aku pergi, Ragaku tak kunjung datang. Terpatri rel di memori, Mengantarku pulang.

Ayahanda, Andai kau di sini, Apa yang 'kan engkau katakan? Ku harus tegar, namun kau t'lah pergi, Berpulang ke Bumi.

Sepantasnya, Kuamalkan ajarannya Meski hatiku tabah, Takkan ada hal yang sama. Isidor, Isidor… Burakh…

ARTEMY:

Kawan, Kenalkah mereka? Terhadap rupa wajahku yang baru? Kawan, Banggakah mereka? Akankah m'reka hapus takutku?

[Satu per satu, LARA, GRIEF, and RUBIN menyanyikan nama Artemy, RUBIN tertunda.]

Firasatku mengganjal Petaka yang tak tinggalkan jejak Bagaimana ku 'kan temukan jalan yang benar, Jika tafsirku gagal?

[harmoni dari APPLE BASKET on ‘jika tafsirku gagal’]

Sepantasnya, Ku harus melangkah pulang, Namun yang menungguku, Takkan pernah datang, Lagi.

GRIEF, LARA, RUBIN: [menengok ke arah Artemy] Artemy, Artemy, Artemy…

ARTEMY: Isidor, Isidor, Isidor…

SEMUA: Burakh.

Recording Notes

The first draft of this post had "Version: 3 (definitely not the final version... I'm not satisfied with the lyrics, and the audio is... very quiet)".

The 3rd version's recording was the best thing I could get in one take. Unfortunately, I was too far from my laptop, so the audio was very quiet. And the more I tried to sing it, the less satisfied I was with the lyrics and my voice.

So, firstly, I decided to edit the lyrics again to make Version 4. And secondly, lower the pitch of the instrumental, like I did for the original "Thanatologist". My vocal range is very narrow... is how it is. It's another point of struggle for when I want to try "I Can Do Miracles" :')

The part where Lara, Grief, and Stakh sing Artemy's name, that was daunting, cause I had to make the voices different. But I didn't do the harmonies because I didn't have time (sweating emoji) Maybe a 2025 version will have that. But don't count on it :p

All in all, I'm extremely proud of this! I even listened to it multiple times, for fun //D

Translation Notes

"The Haruspex"? "Sang Penafsir"? "Sang Belian"?

"Penafsir" means "Interpreter", but "tafsir" (the root word) means interpretations of a mystical or religious nature, like holy books or dreams. It's similar to the meaning of the word "Haruspex" or the German translation ("der Seher"/"the Seer"), though it misses the "entrails" part.

"Sang Belian" ("the Shaman/Traditional and supernatural healer") is also cool - a very fancy word that the laypeople don't know. According to the online Indonesian dictionary, it's often used in classic Malay literature. Unfortunately, its homonym means "someone/something bought", which has... unfortunate implications.

I also considered "Sang Syaman" ("the Shaman"), and "Sang Cenayang" ("The Psychic") but I don't want him to be confused with "Sang Siluman" ("the Changeling"). "Cenayang" also has a mediumship connotation, apparently? So I decided not to use it.

I also decided against using "Peramal" ("Fortune Teller").

I also contemplated using "Sang Haruspex" (since the original is also odd one out to the other English/Russian two) but I thought, maybe I should go into Sanskrit to see (cause pretentious Indonesians use Sanskrit as mottos and stuff instead of Latin).

"Praji" means "midwife" or "baby healer/shaman", which is not even "surgeon". He's not an obstetrician :(

"Ira", "ramal" (same as Indonesian), "galar" mean "prediction, forecast, fortune"... But that sounds a bit odd to use as a title (not a person noun). So I'll stick to Indonesian words for now.

Okay, now for the part you've been waiting for... *drumroll*

The Song

Legend

Original

Indonesian translation

Literal English translation

My notes

Lyrics

It’s been so long since I have come here, so terribly long I’ve been gone. These tracks – I still remember them. They’re leading me back home.

Lama nian aku pergi, Ragaku tak kunjung datang. Terpatri rel di memori, Mengantarku pulang.

I’ve been away for so long, My body keeps staying away, The tracks are etched in my memories, Leading me back home.

“Ragaku tak kunjung datang” is so unnecessarily dramatic. Should’ve saved this goddamn poetic line for the Bachelor, but idk xD I could’ve said “diriku tak kunjung datang” (I keep/my self keeps staying away).

“Raga” is a fancy way to say “body”, which is a complement of “jiwa”, which which means “soul”. (Jiwa dan raga = body and soul).

I still chose “terpatri” (“etched”) instead of “tertulis” (“written”) because it sounds better vocally.

If you were here, what would you say to me? Would you say, “Tyoma, how you have grown”? I have to move on, but my father is gone; you left me on my own.

Ayahanda, Andai kau di sini, Apa yang 'kan engkau katakan? Ku harus tegar, namun kau t'lah pergi, Berpulang ke Bumi.

Father, If only you were here, What would you say to me? I have to be strong, but you have gone, Returning home to the Earth.

“Ayahanda” is a very respectful, archaic way to address one’s father. No one uses this IRL nowadays. But I think Artemy would call Isidor like this due to the elder Burakh’s religious/spiritual/cultural significance.

Also, “Tyoma, how you have grown” (6 syllables) is so affectionate… but I sadly had to put that line away because “Tyoma, kau t’lah tumbuh besar” (8 syllables) is too long. The lack of affection also fits the Indonesian view of parents as the ultimate authority; someone who is supposed to elicit respect and obedience, even devotion, even if the child gets married and have children.

I sometimes feel like I'm doing this halfway and should make an Indonesian-Pathologic AU (set in this country)... I found a great Indonesian Patho AU by _soussune_ on Twitter/X, you should go check it out! :D

“Berpulang” has the metaphorical meaning of “dying” but literally means “going home”. An example: “Berpulang ke Rumah Bapa” is used in Catholic obituaries – “returning to the House of the Holy Father”. But obviously, Isidor Burakh will return to Earth, to Mother Boddho, instead.

I need to claim what is left of my father’s name. Though my heart still carries me, I’ll never be the same again.

Sepantasnya, Kuamalkan ajarannya Meski hatiku tabah, Takkan ada hal yang sama.

I truly must Practice his teachings Even though my heart is tough and patient, Nothing will ever be the same.

“Mengamalkan” is a very religious, devoted to others, sort of “practicing”… “mengamalkan ilmunya bagi masyarakat” is “giving their knowledge to the people” (that’s quoted from the online Indonesian dictionary). Muslims often say, "Al-Quran (the holy book of Islam) jangan dihapalkan saja, tetapi juga harus diamalkan!" - as in, "you shouldn't just memorize the holy book, you should practice it and use your knowledge to help others."

“Tabah” is often used as a synonym for “sabar” (“patient”), but it has a stronger connotation (like, being tough after a tragedy/loss) than the gentle “sabar” (like turning the other cheek, not being angry at someone’s cruelty towards you).

Will they be glad? Will they remember me? Will they recognize my face after these years? My friends – will they be proud of me? Will they ease all these terrible fears?

Kawan, Kenalkah mereka? Terhadap rupa wajahku yang baru? Kawan, Banggakah mereka? Akankah m'reka hapus takutku?

Friend, Do they recognize The new face I am wearing? Friend, Are they proud? Will they erase my fears?

This is probably the hardest verse to translate, and I honestly feel like I still fumbled it. I can’t say “Kawan-kawan” (my friends), because it’s too long… the length of Indonesian words also means that the “will they be glad?” line is entirely lost.

I feel a strange foreboding. I sense something foul I can’t find. But how can I assist if I’m still stumbling in the mist, if I cannot read the Lines?

Firasatku mengganjal Petaka yang tak tinggalkan jejak Bagaimana ku 'kan temukan jalan yang benar, Jika tafsirku gagal?

I feel a strange foreboding, A disaster that leaves no trails, How am I going to find the right path, If my interpretation fails?

"I sense something foul I can't find" (8/9 syllables), literally translated, is "Aku merasakan kebusukan yang tak bisa kutemukan" (18 syllables). Yeah, I'm not using that xD So I removed the subject here.

Translating the “Lines” gives me a headache because I can’t find anything that is both appropriately religious and is a theater pun. Dammit. So I use “tafsir” to show his interpretation, his Haruspexiness (Haruspicy?). The rhyming is kinda different here, but I think it was good enough.

“Jalan yang benar” can be put in a religious context, too, so I liked it.

I need to go to the place I have always known, but the one who needed me will never be back home again.

Sepantasnya, Ku harus melangkah pulang, Namun yang menungguku, Takkan pernah datang, Lagi.

I truly must, Take my steps towards home, But the one who was waiting for me, Will never come (home), Again.

Sadly, “to the place I have always known” is also lost in translation. Same as the "again" rhyme from the beginning.

But hey! I hope this cover can bring up some different dimensions to the song. Thank you so much for reading, I had fun writing, singing, and sharing this. And I truly appreciate your interest! :D

See you in the next song, whatever it may be! ;3c

#pathologic #the haruspex #artemy burakh #pathologic fanart #pathologic musical #pathologic the musical #haruspex #music #audio #cover #lyrics #writing #translyrics #burakh #translation #thanathiccart

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slayingfiction · 1 year

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Types Of Professional Editing

There are many ways to edit your work. The editing process itself is most often broken down into 5 major categories, give or take. The 5 steps are like building a house! This is a brief description of each, and I will then make separate posts to further develop on each topic, so stay tuned and follow along!

Step 1: Developmental Editing (AKA conceptual editing)

This stage of editing is early in the writing process. The editor helps you plan and plot your story and gives you ideas to help organize your story so that it flows well. They tell you what’s working and what’s not. They do not write or rewrite anything, but are simply there to help you strategize and plan to avoid plot holes, work on pacing and help you create a story that everyone will love. This is the house building part of designing the house layout, pouring foundation and putting up the whole house! It’s a big job. (I wrote that in Mario’s voice)

Step 2: Structural Editing (AKA content or substantive editing)

Much like developmental editing, this stage of the process is all about big picture in a more specific way. Here the editor will work through chapters, paragraphs and go through your whole story in a detailed way to find errors in continuity, plot holes, incomplete sections and smooth out the story, working on tone, voice and your target audience. They may move lines or paragraphs around to help with flow. This is the house moving part where you are looking at every room, finding which room you want dedicated to what, and you start moving your larger items into the house like beds, TVs, tables, etc.

Step 3: Stylistic Editing (AKA line or comprehensive editing)

This step is much more in depth. The focus is on the flow and impact of every word in every sentence. The editor moves line by line, eliminating jargon and cliches, unclear sentence structures and using clear and precise words when it helps the story. You’re now getting reading to move into the house. You’re picking the perfect wall colour to match your sheets and the decor you have packed up in bins and picking the perfect spot for the rest of the your furniture.

Steps 4: Copy Editing

This step is very straight forward and should only be done once the book is completely finished. This is all about grammatical errors, punctuation and spelling. I promise you, you can’t get all of these on your own. Even professional editors may only be able to catch up to 90% of mistakes. Spelling and grammar mistakes can be hard to spot, but even just having a few in your book can make people put your story down and never pick it up again. You’re putting all your stuff away. Clothes go in the correct drawers, spices get lined up in the pantry, your cutlery is getting separated into their own groups and you’re organizing your books on the shelf.

Step 5: Proofreading

The final step! This is all finishing touches, going over everything for any lasting mistakes. This step is usually done after formatting and typesetting to make sure everything flows properly and nothing is missing before being send to print or publish. Finally settling into the house :) You’re putting up a couple paintings, fixing the scratches and scrapes that happened while moving in, and setting fresh flowers into a vase in the kitchen. You can finally relax and maybe even invite people over to see it.

Some people don’t get an editor, while others may have multiple. It’s best practice to have multiple to look over it, and that’s typically what happens at traditional publishing houses. LOL it’s so expensive though, so do what you can. Are there any of these that you feel you’ve got handled by yourself? Are there any of these that make you dread editing your future book?

Did you know I currently offer services for steps 1 and 5? Send me a message if you have any questions :)

Keep an eye out for a more in depth description and explanation of each one separately!

Happy Writing and Happy World Book Day!

#creative writing #book edit #editing #proofreading #development #everyone needs help #fiction #writing #writers #writing process #novel writing #story plot #writing community #writers of tumblr

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rongzhi · 1 year

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Your blog has inspired me to do something similar with the languages I know 😭 how do you decide what kinds of videos to translate/post?

I know I've answered this before but I don't really feel like looking for the old answer so...

As I've made translations on this blog more of a regular commitment, there are some things that have changed about how I choose videos. Although the main driving force continues to simply be my own sense of humor/taste, I will also take into account more of

(1) what other people might like to see (culturally, topically, etc);

After running this blog for like a year and a half almost, I have a bit more of an idea of what kind of videos/topics do particularly well with the people who seem to regularly watch my translations. Obviously my niche, if you could call it that, is more of funny/silly douyins, but I also like to include some educational type videos to translate as well. I'll often go for any lesser known cultural tidbits (festivals, histories, traditions, arts, etc) that I think would be worth sharing. Chinese folk music translations and stuff about ethnic minorities that might be difficult to come across organically on the English web are also videos I will give more consideration.

(2) what I would want other people to see/what I think other people would enjoy seeing;

This is sort of similar to the first thing, but now that this whole blog has turned into a thing that has an audience, at times I feel compelled to consider what would not be of that much interest to people. Of course, it's my right and delight to force some special interests upon you all at 2am, but while I mostly translate douyins that I do like, there are also some videos that I like that I do not translate. I don't need to post every funny cat video I come across, for example (tempting though it may be). Additionally, I don't post that many vlog-type douyins or cooking how-tos or people talking about pop culture (potentially too niche) or clothes or just whatever. Some of this selection/editing feeds into the final main factor:

(3) what I would be motivated and capable of translating;

There are some videos/creators that I watch tons of content from but never translate and have never reposted here. It could be because it's a rabbit hole that couldn't be accurately captured with just a few videos, or because their videos are too long, or because maybe there's too many notes/context that I would have to give, or maybe because, again, the videos aren't even that interesting to begin with and I'm just watching them for some very specific reason.

At the end the day, though, this blog and translating videos is just a hobby. If you want to do it, you should also think of it as a hobby.

The earliest douyins I translated were pretty random, and I used to translate videos and send them directly to a group discord. Then I started posting them on tumblr, I think, because at some point I felt that I was translating too much and my frequent posts were coming across as annoying and irrelevant to the discord (or something like that—I don't really remember anymore).

I think if you just want to start out translating, picking videos you like and would want to translate to show a friend who doesn't speak the language is the way to begin choosing. Or maybe, choose videos you WOULD want to share with others who know the language. There are a lot of douyins I choose to translate secondarily because my primary intention is to share the original video with my Chinese followers :)

#text #answered ask #long post #limpbizkitmutual

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anarcho-physicist · 11 months

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Squishy Stuff, Symmetries, & Why '3 States of Matter' is a Lie [PART 1]

Hi! I'm new to tumblr, I migrated over here from reddit with r/196. I didn't post much there, but this seems like a good place to talk about the things I'm interested in. So I'm gonna do that. This is going to be a two-part post (since it’s turning out to be pretty long) about what soft matter (or, affectionately, squishy stuff) is, why the traditional picture of classifying matter into solid/liquid/gas is woefully incomplete, and how you should really think about phases of matter. In my next post after these first two, I’ll show a bunch of cool pictures of soft matter systems, and I’ll talk a little bit about what I’m planning to share in the future. But for now, I would like to explain why I think this criminally under-communicated field of physics is the coolest thing in the universe.

So I'm a PhD candidate studying theoretical soft condensed matter physics, which basically means I think weird phases of matter are cool as hell. Remember that scene from spongebob squarepants where spongebob and patrick are looking at weird squishy organ thing and say something like "it's a liquid!" "no it's a solid it's a solid!" "it's a lolsquid!"? That scene pretty much perfectly defines the subject of the field of soft matter. Like many things in life, we're taught in school to fit phases of matter into neat little binary categories. You have solids which are generally rigid and don't flow, and the science-class explanation for why is because all of the solid's constituent atoms/molecules/particles are locked in-place, either in a regular, periodic lattice if it's a crystal, or in some kind of random, disordered arrangement if it's an amorphous material like glass. Then you have liquids, which do flow to fill their containers, but don’t expand outwards into the air, which is explained as the constituent particles being densely packed together due to some form of attractive forces between them, but free to jiggle around and move past one another. And finally there are gasses, which flow and expand to fill their containers completely, due to the constituent particles having overcome these attractive interactions and moving freely through space, only occasionally colliding with other particles. If you were a nerdy kid like me, you may also have heard of things like plasma and Bose-Einstein condensates, expanding those 3 categories into more like 5 or 6.

Coming up with this picture, explaining the coarse-grained, macroscopic behavior of the universe we live in in terms of these microscopic models, is one of the greatest accomplishments of the last couple centuries of physics. But if you start to think too hard about it, to pay too much attention to the world around you, you’ll start to notice some cracks in the picture. A common first exposure to one of these cracks occurs when you mix cornstarch with water to make "oobleck". This curious substance will flow slowly to fill its container, but if you hit it with a hammer, it’ll feel like a solid, even fracturing like a solid before flowing back to fill in its cracks. You can even walk on it (if you walk fast enough).

Another, similar example is silly putty. You can roll it up into a ball and throw it against a wall, and it’ll bounce back just like a solid. But if you leave a glob of silly putty on a ledge and walk away for a few minutes, by the time you get back you’ll have a mess on the floor.

So we have these cute little examples of weird materials that do weird things, and if we ask our science teachers where they fit into this picture, they’ll say something about “non-Newtonian fluids”, which makes them sound like they should fit into some subcategory of liquid. But maybe you don’t worry too much about it too much, because how often do we really encounter oobleck and silly putty in day-to-day life anyway? So you add a little subcategory to the “liquids” bin in your mental picture of how matter works, and move on with your life. And then you learn about rubber.

From the perspective of a theoretical physicist, rubber is a remarkable material. From a macroscopic point of view, it’s clearly a solid. It doesn’t flow, and it’s not as rigid as, say, a crystal, but it does behave elastically, pushing back on you if you push on it. And yet, if you zoom way in on rubber and look at its microscopic structure and dynamics on the scale of a few molecules, it’s indistinguishable from a liquid. Molecules are not locked into rigid positions, they’re constantly jiggling and flowing around each other. So what the hell is going on here?

The physical origins of rubber’s elasticity is a fascinating topic that I will certainly discuss in more mathematical detail at some point (spoiler: unlike crystal elasticity which comes from energy, i.e. electrically charged particles pushing on each other, rubber elasticity comes from entropy), but the important takeaway for now is that, unlike in crystals and “simple” fluids, you can’t predict the macroscopic behavior from the microscopic scale. If you really want to understand rubber, silly putty, or oobleck, there’s a third length scale in between the two that’s really important: the mesoscopic. The macroscopic properties of these materials arise from structures which are much larger than the individual atoms & molecules the material is made of, but much smaller than the material itself. In fact, the only physical thing that differentiates oobleck from silly putty from rubber are small differences in these mesoscopic structures.

This is again something that deserves its own post, but all three of these materials are made up of very long, wiggly molecules called polymers. Physicists aren’t too interested in the chemical makeup of these polymers since they all roughly obey the same mathematics, so we essentially think of them as tiny pieces of spaghetti which are wiggling around due to being constantly buffeted by other molecules. Oobleck is essentially just a whole bunch of these polymers dissolved in water at high density. If you use a probe to push slowly on a bit of oobleck, the polymers can slowly, thermally jiggle out of the way of the probe, flowing viscously like a liquid. But if you push too fast, the polymers will push back, primarily due to a really fascinating effect known as entropic elasticity. This explains the “non-Newtonian” (or more specifically “viscoelastic”) behavior of oobleck, but what about silly putty and rubber? To understand their behavior, imagine you have a big bowl of these spaghetti molecules, and you start tying them together, crosslinking two at a time. In actual materials, these crosslinks are formed by some chemical which is able to bond two different polymers together at a point. Then, push or pull on one of the pieces of spaghetti. The more you increase the number of crosslinks, the more likely you are to drag other pieces along with it. The more crosslinks you have, the more rigid and brittle the overall piece of matter behaves. This is the fundamental difference between oobleck, silly putty, and rubber: the density of crosslinks.

But if you tried to predict this macro-scale behavior by looking at the micro-scale phenomena of individual molecules, you’d fail completely, because even in rubber which has the highest density of crosslinks of our three examples, these crosslinks occur only once every few dozen to every few thousand molecules. They are separated by meso-scale distances. Tiny changes in the density of crosslinkers can have huge effects on the overall macroscopic properties of the material, and the only way to understand this is by modeling the physics of these meso-scale structures. Our traditional classification scheme of solid, liquid, or gas makes reference only to micro-scale behavior in explaining the macro-scale, and thus is utterly incapable of describing polymeric materials like oobleck, silly putty and rubber.

So at this point, if you’re like me, learning this kind of blows your mind a little bit, maybe even makes you a little bit paranoid. What other states of matter have they been lying to us about? You start to look around more closely at the world around you, what it’s really made of. Is peanut butter a solid or a liquid? What about toothpaste? What about me? If I flex a muscle and poke it, it feels rigid like a solid, but if I relax that muscle and do the same, it flows more easily around my finger. Does my body undergo a phase transition every time I use a muscle? What even counts as a phase of matter anyway? If I look up at a big murmation of starlings flocking together in the sky and squint my eyes a little bit, it almost looks like a big droplet of a very weird fluid. Does that count as a phase of matter?

After I started thinking more deeply about what the hell all this stuff we’re made of is, I couldn’t stop. It seems almost ridiculous to me that it’s possible for all of the natural world’s complexity to exist at all, so it’s become my life’s obsession to try to understand some of the fundamental, mathematical structures behind it. Which is why I’m currently working towards my PhD in soft matter physics. Since I started this journey I’ve learned a lot of very cool stuff about the structure of matter, and I think a lot of other people might find this stuff really cool too, so I’m gonna try my best to explain it, which I think will help me understand it even better. Please feel free to ask questions!

In part 2, I’m going to explain a better way to think about phases of matter: in terms of symmetries. I’ll also talk a bit more precisely about what I mean by the term “soft matter”, and why I think it’s the coolest, most exciting field of physics.

#science #physics #196 #soft matter

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iammissingautumn · 1 year

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(@seregashockingly I’m gonna drop my general Style stuff relating to ur ask and reply to my post here since i wanna explain more Kyle Feelings moments)

Okay so the thing is, Stan encourages this codependent ideas in their relationships. From early one when he says Kyle can’t die without him we see that he has this insane view of their relationship. They both kinda do. The thing is, as all things go Stan is the more emotional of the two. Meanwhile Kyle had to figure out how he’s felt about most things pretty young, and with a lot of simplicity. That’s what allows him to be so okay with defending those who need it, he has strong morals that he trusts.

The thing about Stan encouraging codependent ideas towards them is that he’s also the one who has a girlfriend. And Stan is so bad at processing emotions that he throws up every time he’s faced with these feelings. Stan also has outside pressures like that of his father’s to conform (mostly specifically to the idea of being a man and what that “means”). Which Randy does in a lot of diffferent ways, I.E. Stanley’s Cup.

Though one of the main things about Stan is that the adults are being insane wackos and he thinks they’re being stupid. And he’s right but we see these kind of things leaving an imprint on him. His superhero persona is someone who works with tools, more “traditional” ideas of manhood relate to being able to upkeep the house car etc. He has rip sleeves and tries to seem tough but it’s very hard when his dad is keying their own car. On top of this, his SOT character is a knight meant to protect the king. Knights often have to be sworn in, seen to be risking their life in the name of being a protector. Which, including how he presents, the idea of a protector is also a very “masculine” “tradition”.

Yet, we don’t see this come in through other ways. He’s not toxic masculinity-ing his life. He doesn’t dedicate his days to playing every sport ever, physically fighting, or trying to prove his strength. He doesn’t have that insecurity that is more apparent in someone like Cartman. But there’s tinges of small things, and I do think most of his compensation and possible shame or complexes comes back to his sexuality.

Meanwhile, Kyle is confident in his religion, his self expression, and his personality. Sometimes we see this swayed (I.e. Passion of the Jew and South Park is Gay!), but I think his relationship to Judaism really helped him be able to have the confidence to be okay with other parts of himself. Especially since he has the support of his mother being such a big force in his life to encourage him to be himself. And though Shelia has her own problems she definitely shows Kyle she loves him for himself and wants him to be that person. (The crux of both of them is that they don’t want to veer into being “bad” and need to stay good. In the movie we see her thinking foul mouth tv shows are the “bad” thing. She’s always been particularly accepting despite the sometimes black and white thinking.)

So from this I picture the standard Style idea is that, in some sort of way Stan is repressing his queerness. This probably doesn’t help with the fact he has had depression and has an addictive personality. He can bury his queerness under all of this. But we see within him there’s this want or maybe a need to go towards those who don’t conform. As we see when he adopts the Raven personality for the point in time where he’s goth.

But there’s this level where Stan’s been how he’s always been. Loving his best friend, and them not shying from it. He thinks this is how you should see your best friend, both him and Kyle think this. The thing is at some point Kyle figures out This Isn’t Everyone’s Relationship To Their Best Friend. Which is probably a middle or high school realization that turns into a very changing thing. And I think whether Kyle assumes that Stan doesn’t like him because of something like his reputation with relationships in the past Nichole, Heidi, Rebecca, or The List situation which is just. hurtful even after the truth comes out.

Insert Stan doing something dumb, a drunk confession, a kiss, he throws up, some sort of blatant obvious “Stan’s In Love” marker that changes Kyle’s mind. Stan’s in denial about it (perhaps leads Kyle on 👀) and it causes some pains that they later have to unpack. And maybe that means they kiss or smth none of my business. Maybe this involves Kyle helping Stan sober up, maybe it involves Stan cleaning up and calling Kyle trying to reconnect, maybe this involves Stan realizing he’s so fucking stupid and in love with his best friend and he should have realized sooner because now they’re separating because they’re graduating or something. Or maybe they’re in middle school and Kyle tells Stan to stop talking to him because he’s being mean about his feelings. Or maybe Kyle just silently isolates himself from Stan. There’s a lot of loose spots so the story can change depending on the point in their lives or the story being wished to be told. But that’s the general classic idea for me.

#south park #sp style #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #south park meta #stan x kyle #mod caden #sp stanky

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best-titan-7274 · 9 months

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anon from 2017 here again, aaaaa you really already wrote a lot of the stuff I was thinking about back then. I love all of your request, I wanted to read some casual and fun stuff about Cooper and BT being okay post-canon for the longest time. the fic you're working on also sounds like something I would love to read, and you're already working on it, so thank you. fandom does have some nice fix-it fics, but I didn't read one yet that would've felt just right, so I'm pretty excited to see your take on it!

the only personal request I have - maybe more fluff, if you have any ideas for it. <3

The fic is about 50/50 "Jack's depression arc" and "fluff with brief interludes of hurt/comfort". It's gonna be fun if I don't get distracted by eight bajillion other fics in the meantime (I will). In the meantime, more fluff!

"Good morning, Jack," BT says.

Jack yawns and gives a half-hearted movement that might have been a wave if he put more effort into it but ends up looking more like a wrist flop of some kind.

"Whassup, BT?"

"I have been informed it is your birthday. Captain Lastimosa informed me it is traditional for most humans to celebrate birthdays. I would like to congratulate you on aging another year."

Only BT can say it like that, and somehow, Jack has come to find it extremely endearing. Besides, he's seen enough to know how many soldiers don't age another year, especially in the Titan Corps.

"Aw, thanks, buddy," he says. He reaches up to pat BT's arm, and manages a not-too-tired-looking smile when BT looks down at him. "You got a present for me, too?"

"I do. Commander Briggs helped me obtain an appropriate item."

"Wait, for real?"

"Yes."

Jack had expected a couple of people to congratulate him over lunch, a call from Briggs maybe, but not for his Titan to take the initiative to get him a gift, of all things. Until now, he wasn't even sure that BT remembered his birthday, even though Jack knew the date BT was created and then first deployed with Lastimosa.

"Do I get to see it, or are you gonna make me guess?" he asks.

"Commander Briggs was kind enough to store the item in my cockpit if you would like to embark."

"Aw, you know me, BT, I always like spending time with you."

"Your sentiment is returned."

Yep. Only BT.

BT holds a hand out to help him up, something that still comes across as polite no matter how many times he does it. Jack could get up on his own, but he's seen other newbie Pilots overshoot with their jump kit and smack right into the door of the cockpit before it has time to open. He's never made a mistake like that, and he doesn't intend to in the future. And not just because he'd never live it down.

He's careful as he embarks, not wanting to crush the box set on the seat. Green wrapping paper, orange bow - not the exact same shades as BT, but pretty close, and he's impressed by how much it looks like his Titan's paint job. Nice attention to detail, from whoever picked it.

"Was it your idea or Briggs' to tie a bow?" he can't help asking.

"I suggested to Commander Briggs that the wrapping should be as traditional as possible. My image analysis indicated that bows are expected more often than not."

Jack settles in the seat, box in his lap, and tries to be gentle with the wrapping paper instead of ripping it all off in a shredded clump. He doesn't think BT will mind - not a lot bothers him, except Jack being in danger - but this is the first time he's gotten a present in a while.

And hey, maybe he can convince BT to wear the bow for a while. Get a few pictures to show the other Pilots. BT sometimes just looks at him before walking away, when he suggests photoshoots, but he's pretty sure he can leverage the whole birthday thing to get at least a picture.

Inside the paper is a box, and then another, and another - he decides not to ask whose idea that was. He's pretty sure he knows anyway.

Past all that is some kind of leatherbound book. There's a silver clasp that he fiddles with for a moment before getting it open. A photo album? He hasn't seen one of these in years.

There's documents, here and there, and he didn't realise that people printed those out. Maintenance records. Combat accolades. One or two minor disciplinary actions. Looks like Lastimosa used to be a bit of a hell-raiser...

But most of the pages inside are pictures. A few of them are only of people, often Lastimosa and Briggs, but a good ninety percent of the contents are pictures of Lastimosa and BT. The date and location are written across the bottom of each one in Lastimosa's blocky all-caps print. Some have additional comments in a pen rather than a marker, most of them about something new BT learned or experienced.

He realises that he didn't have any pictures of Lastimosa until now, except the official ID in Lastimosa's file, attached to his own. Now he has - he's not sure, but from thumbing through the album, it looks like thirty or forty pages. Not just from the days Lastimosa was linked with BT, either, but his entire life with the militia.

"This is really special, BT," he says. "I- thank you. Really."

"You are welcome, Jack. Briggs obtained a second album that is empty, if you would like to create your own record."

"Hell yeah I do. And I know just what to start with." He disembarks and holds up the bow, giving BT his most winning smile. "Are you familiar with the human tradition of a birthday wish?"

BT looks from him to the bow to him again.

"Acceptable request."

The second picture in the new album is BT wearing the bow. The first is Jack alongside him, with a matching thumbs-up, and the biggest grin he remembers having in years.

#jack cooper #bt 7274 #request #ficlet

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jemdeserveslove · 2 months

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I read the ACOTAR trilogy years ago and liked it, but I was never interested in reading any of the next books. I remember that Lucien and Elain were supposed to be mates but she didn't want to talk to him(?) and it was left unresolved at the end of ACOWAR. After that I only know bits and pieces I came across online, and I often saw people saying Elain should end up with Azriel instead. So I'm here to ask: what's going on, what happened since then? What is her relationship with both men at this point? Is there a love triangle? Who is she more likely gonna end up with? Can you please tell me the tea? 👀

Omg this is like a big question that requires a big answer, so bare with me ✨

First things first, I wanna start by saying that I’m completely biased at this point, since I want Elain and Lucien to be together. I will present the facts and how I see them. I did this post ages ago discussing every ship! There are more details

So, since the end of Wings and Ruin, Elain and Lucien’s relationship hasn’t really improved. She still avoids him whenever he’s around and, as far as we know, he only shows up in Velaris when he needs to report something to Rhys and Feyre (since he works for them as emissary) or on Winter’s Solstice. He always gets her a gift and she ignores him, as usual.

Now, as for Elain and Azriel, we know due to Azriel’s bonus chapter that they spent a little time together, usually in the garden, with Elain going over her garden plans and stuff.

Idk if you read his chapter or not, I guess you must have seen it around, but if you want to get more context to this, I recommend reading it even if didn’t read the book. You can still understand lots of it.

But basically what happened is this:

It’s after the Winter Solstice party and Azriel and Elain meet after everyone left to their own rooms. In the chapter, we get Azriel’s pov so we get to learn a bit more about his state of mind and how unwell he is (and has been for a while). When they meet, Azriel intercepts Elain as she’s going downstairs to put a gift in his gift pile, so she hands him his gift. He then also gives her a gift, that he didn’t give earlier as well, a rose shaped necklace

They have a bit of a moment, with Azriel thinking about how they always had slight touch of hands and shared glances (not really conversations), but nothing else happened beyond that. Azriel thinks about how he has the hots for her and also how bothered he is about Elain and Lucien’s mating bond

Then, they almost kiss, BUT they are interrupted by Rhys, when he has a mental conversation with Azriel, who then tells Elain this was a mistake and she apologizes, and as far as we know, they haven’t talk since

NOW, Rhys basically tells Az to stay away from Elain, because she has a mate and if he saw them kissing (Lucien was just upstairs) he would have, like, the right to be really pissed off and call on Azriel the blood duel (traditional of the Autumn Court) and then fight to the death for Elain. Like, Lucien would never do that, but anyway

Azriel tries to reason with Rhys by saying that Elain is not interested in Lucien and that maybe the cauldron was wrong and that they were not supposed to be mates, which leaves Rhys all “what the actual fuck????”. To which Azriel responds by saying that there are 3 sisters and 3 brothers, so how come were 2 sisters given to 2 of those brothers (Rhys and Cassian) but the third one wasn’t???? Rhys gets all 😡 and tell Azriel that he should go to a pleasure house and leave Elain alone, to not jeopardize their relationship with Lucien, cause he’s a really important ally for them, as he has ties with many courts + the human realm

Az gets really mad about the whole thing, we know he always wanted a mate, so this whole thing is a sensitive topic for him. He then meets Gwyn, a new character to the series, he trains her on combat with Cassian, and she was overall a really important character in ACOSF. They have a moment, filled with playful banter and even a couple of revelations (we learned from their conversation that Az sings) and when he leaves her he was much more cool minded

As the chapter goes, we learn that Elain returned the rose shaped necklace, putting it back in his gift pile, without even talking to him. He then gets the necklace and anonymously gives it to Gwyn, thinking about how her eyes will shine upon seeing it, calling it “a thing of secret, lovely beauty”

NOW, everyone is entitled to their opinions, and even if I don’t agree, I see why people would ship Elain and Azriel considering some other moments they had during the other books. I for one think that the bonus chapter was a way of Sarah to put an end to them. I think his interaction with Gwyn was much more interesting and had that sjm couple banter thing, that she always writes, and honestly it just seemed healthier (considering how Az’s pov goes)

But even if we forget about Gwyn for a moment, during Silver Flames there were a couple of moments when Az just pretty much dismissed Elain, when she wanted to do finally do something and help everyone. Saying how Elain should not be exposed to such darkness and all. Which could be cute, like, “awnn he wants to protect her”, but he did it behind her back and she was really just trying to help and do more. And that didn’t sit right with me

As for Elain and Lucien, I’m not gonna lie, it’s looking very good for them lol. But, I think they will overcome their issues, cause they don’t have anything against each other. They don’t even know each other. Their issue is not personal, And I think that eventually they will know each other and things will work out just fine

So, answering your question, Idk who’s gonna end up with who. I have my personal beliefs and some people have completely different ideas. Not really sure who to blame for this, maybe we should blame Sarah for being a little ambiguous or ourselves for being maybe a bit too emotional about it 🤡

But I’ll tell you this: acotar 5 is next, so we’re gonna find out soon enough ✨

#acotar thoughts #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #azriel #gwyneth berdara #rhysand #acotar 5 #discussion #annonymous #sarah j maas

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fierceawakening · 5 months

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Reality check time: Is it okay, given that I'm Christian (basically, weirdly--I don't think gods exist but I think the religious traditions I grew up with are personally useful to me so I follow most of them), to feel REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE when posts go around Jumblr that are all about how ex-Christian atheists only exist because of a particular feature of Christian-dominated culture? Because I just read a post that said "you're all supercessionists" and I feel so uneasy.

I can only speak for myself and my own becoming an atheist (and later deciding religious practice is good for me even though I'm pretty sure God is something we made up, and therefore it's random and unimportant which one anyone worships if at all.)

But for me, it wasn't so much "I don't like this religion because it tells me not to be gay and kinky. Therefore I dislike all religion."

It was

"I'm already not sure there's a god, and therefore uneasy anyway, but WHY does god tell me not to be gay and kinky?"

"Tradition."

"What's the value of tradition?"

"...what kind of a question is that?"

"Oh, I'm doing that neurodivergent thing where you say a concept-word and I don't understand it and we can't even talk because you assume I do. 'Tradition' is weird meaningless neurotypical for 'There is a script. I don't care how it got here. It is my script.'"

"Yes?"

"Then fuck 'tradition.' Scripts should not be arbitrary."

"Whoa, you're scary and spiteful.... Say, what do you think of other religions?"

"Do they use 'tradition?'"

"That's pretty much all they are, if you don't think gods are real."

"Then I do not like them."

While it's true that for some reason, queer Jews don't seem to do the "Why is this rule here?" "Tradition." "Then tradition is bad." thing, I... feel like the queer Jews who DO find value in tradition come up with all these weird explanations for what the rest of us are doing to avoid "I'm neurodivergent, and no one explained what 'a tradition' is in a way that isn't hurtful. So I decided 'traditions' are bad, unless people can prove they are useful. Like having three meals a day--it's not necessary, but it works well for many humans, so it ended up just worthwhile to tell all the humans to do things that way, so now you know what it means that 'she's at lunch.'"

If I didn't know for a fact that MANY of the people saying this stuff on Jumblr are themselves autistic, I'd say it's that thing where neurotypical people keep using a word, and they think you must understand that word because you've heard it in context enough times that you can use it, but really you don't know what people are actually getting at and you're pantomiming, and the people Discoursing don't know that and are just hostile to neurodivergence and coming up with all sorts of weird "why they're like that" that are anything but "they don't know what this means."

I returned to religious practice, but even that's in line with this--I discovered in a tough time in my life that religious messaging about being loved unconditionally helped me to feel better when other things didn't, so I decided I wanted to hear it more often. It also helped to remind me to be kind and helpful to other humans.

Thus, for me, Christianity turned out to be a useful tradition. I didn't get the Unconditional Love from real people I knew, so I made up a guy and decided he feels that way. About me and also about other people who are struggling who I want to help but can't unconditionally love because, uh, I have a personality.

I'm less judgy of other religions now because even if they don't sound like useful traditions to ME, I can see why they'd be useful to others maybe. (I personally don't get the idea of religious law; life has enough rules without me taking on more of them, especially if some of them are "don't have gay sex" or "ritually cleanse yourself after gay sex as it makes you unclean." I get that other people can ignore that one, but if I agree to a set of rules I agree to all of them, and I want to have gay sex. The only cleansing I want to do is pee afterward. But I gather this doesn't work the same way for a lot of people who happily follow religious law, so.)

But I do not think I'm any closer to understanding why some people accept traditions without having personal reasons to do so. I just think that's part of my neurodivergence, honestly, and that many if not most "Reddit atheists" are neurodivergent in a similar way, which is why until I started noticing them being dicks and going redpill (just another tradition! Why are you gendertrads?!) I felt I'd found My People.

And I certainly don't think I'm secretly supersessionist. I think a religious tradition that puts less stress on Laws and Proper Tradition Following is better for ME, because of MY BRAIN (and also probably just that I grew up with it so I get it.)

It's not superior to any other piece of fiction with a big fandom that people use to improve their lives (by which I mean "any other religion").

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paula-of-christ · 3 months

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I feel defeated. I know this sounds pathetic, but I kind of wish I was d*ead right now or at least I feel like I don’t belong to Christianity anymore like what’s the point. One of the things I worried about after finding God was that I have tattoos and I knew at the time like it didn’t matter and well honestly I saw and still see so many people getting saved who have loads and I know God doesn’t look at outwards but the heart, and more recently it gave me such joy to see kat von d being saved. That being said, I just came across a video of a priest idk maybe an orthodox priest on YouTube speaking on how it’s completely wrong and how awful it is etc and then the comments sections was filled with people saying how disgusting it looks on women and legit any confidence I had just vanished and I feel like a piece of dirt who has no right to call herself Christian lol I honestly feel like no matter how much I run after God or feel peace about everything and let go I see stuff like this and feel like I should give up like

I'd be interested to know why the priest said something like that. While frivolous tattoos are wrong to get, because it's disrespecting the body, Christianity has a very long history of tattooing. Off the top of my head, a traditional pilgrimage activity to Jerusalem is getting a tattoo of a cross, or some other Christian symbol. As well, in Croatia, the tattooing of young girls was common practice as a sign of their Catholic faith, and as a way to stop them from being taken as sex slaves. These often had Christian elements of crosses.

I posted it a few days ago but I'll link it again of this man (Shayne Smith) converting to Catholicism, and feeling accepted by Catholics despite his appearance having many tattoos, several of them on his face [time stamp starting at 38:45, but honestly all of it is so good I encourage you to listen to the whole thing].

I think perhaps a lesson to be learned, is that when you're online, and you see something upsetting, it's best to just keep scrolling/move on. It is pretty much never worth it to look at or to comment on things. I personally like the look of tattoos, and think that if they mean something to a person, that it's completely fine. Both of my bridesmaids had visible tattoos at my wedding, and I know one of the guys I had on my side has a tattoo (wasn't visible because tuxes cover a lot more). I don't personally have them because they are expensive and my husband doesn't care for them, and his opinion on how I look is the only one that matters.

That's also something, unless those people in those comments are people you are trying to date or get to know in a romantic sense, their opinions on women having tattoos is completely irrelevant. Even then, those types of people aren't who you should be looking to be in fellowship with, because if they are that negative on a random youtube short, they probably aren't all that pleasant in real life either.

As an example since my husband doesn't care for tattoos, if I did go and get one, it wouldn't make him less attracted to me. The people that are so against tattoos on women, are reducing those women to how they look, rather than the quality of their character. You can easily be a very high quality person and have tattoos, those things are not mutually exclusive.

As just an end note, I'll leave you with Fr. Mike Schmitz on tattoos. He even got one himself.

#catholic #catholicism #christianity #christian #advice tag #queued

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