#Its like. there is so much impossibly deep sadness in this story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mononijikayu · 3 months

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love wins all ━ geto suguru.

A fleeting sadness crossed Suguru's eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the divide that now existed between them. The weight of the priestly robes seemed to intensify, as if the fabric itself bore witness to the complexities of their shared history. Whispers of the impossibilities that had consistently echoed in his mind for years when it came to them, to the life they could have had. The life they could have deserved. He was certain that their words shattered him, his mind full of chances and roads not taken.

note: this is the story 'to build a home' from suguru's perspective!!! i wanted to get it out much early for his birthday but i was hungover from uni night!!! anyway, enjoy this little gift!!! happy birthday, my beloved suguru!!!

Genre: No Curses AU, Priest Suguru AU, Fleabag AU;

Warning/s: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, First Love, Grief, First Heartbreak, Break Up, Emotional Scars, Forbidden Love, Star Crossed Lovers, Closure to Healing;

masterlist

play: love wins all by iu

WHEN HE WOKE UP THAT MORNING, GETO SUGURU WONDERED WHAT WOULD COME. As the first light of day filtered through the window, its gentle glow fell upon his squinting eyes, coaxing him reluctantly into wakefulness. Despite the beckoning of dawn, he found himself unwilling to rise from the comfort of his bed. A petulant expression settled upon his face, a silent protest against the intrusion of consciousness into the sanctuary of sleep. Memories, long buried or so he thought, resurfaced in his mind, clouding his thoughts like a thick mist refusing to dissipate.

Each detail of the dream remained vivid, etched into his consciousness as he lay beneath the guileless gaze of the ceiling. With an almost desperate longing, his hand reached towards the blank expanse above him, as if attempting to project the fleeting images onto its unimaginative surface. Dreams of them, recurring like a haunting melody, stirred his heart with a warmth that contrasted sharply with the chill of reality. He welcomed their ghostly presence, for in those ephemeral moments, they were all he had, all he desired.

In the relentless march of time, Geto Suguru found himself ensnared by a persistent yearning, an ache that defied the finality of separation. Despite the temporal chasm that had grown between them, the specter of a love once vibrant and all-encompassing lingered in the recesses of his being. It was a love that had etched its indelible mark deep within his soul, an intricate tapestry woven with threads of shared moments and intertwined destinies.

The memory of tender hands, the warmth of fingers interlocked with his own, resonated within him like an echo of a bygone melody. The captivating hue of mischievous eyes, pools of depth and mystery, still held him captive in the realm of nostalgia. Those lips, once orchestrators of joy that painted color onto the canvas of his world, now lived on in the corridors of his mind, their ghostly kisses a bittersweet reminder of what once was.

This longing, profound and relentless, manifested as a bittersweet symphony within his consciousness. Each note played with the delicate precision of cherished recollections, harmonizing the echoes of laughter, the soft caress of shared glances, and the sweet cadence of whispered confessions. The symphony was at once an ode to the beauty of their connection and a requiem for the irretrievable moments that slipped through the hourglass of time.

In the tapestry of his dreams, their shared moments became vivid landscapes, painted with the hues of emotions that transcended the boundaries of reality. These dreams, so palpable and alive, became sanctuaries where the boundaries between the corporeal and the ethereal blurred. In the realm of slumber, he could almost reach out and touch the contours of a love that once enveloped him, a love that refused to be relegated to the annals of the past.

These dreams, though ephemeral, became pillars of solace in the stark absence of their physical presence. They were a fragile bridge between the realms of memory and waking life, offering respite from the harsh reality that they were no longer intertwined in the dance of existence. Each night, as his consciousness surrendered to the realm of dreams, he willingly embraced the illusion, allowing it to weave its enchantment around his senses.

As he traversed the waking world, the yearning persisted, an ever-present companion whispering in the recesses of his mind. It was a testament to the enduring power of a love that, even in its absence, refused to be extinguished. And so, Geto Suguru found himself caught between the echoes of a cherished past and the uncharted territories of a future that beckoned with both uncertainty and promise.

With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly relinquished his grip on the dreams that bound him to the past. The bed, once a sanctuary, now felt unyielding beneath his weight, its surface as unforgiving as his thoughts. Yet, still he lingered, clinging to the remnants of a love that refused to fade. Slowly, he rose from his prone position, strands of raven hair swaying with his movements, a silent testament to the weight of his burden.

Geto Suguru stood in front of the mirror, his reflection a stark reminder of the responsibilities he bore. The smooth fabric of his robes felt heavy against his skin, a tangible weight that matched the burden of his obligations. As he straightened his collar, his thoughts drifted to her—the one he loved, the one he could never have.

He remembered their stolen moments together, fleeting and forbidden. The warmth of her touch lingered in his memory, a bittersweet reminder of what could never be. He had made his choice long ago, committing himself to a life of service and sacrifice. But with each passing day, the ache in his heart only grew deeper, gnawing at his resolve.

The tolling of the church bell echoed once more, pulling him back to the present moment. With a resigned sigh, Suguru steeled himself for another day cloaked in duty and devotion. As he made his way towards the sanctuary, he whispered a silent prayer, seeking solace in the divine presence he longed to feel.

But deep down, he knew that his true salvation lay elsewhere—in the tender embrace of the one he loved, a love that could never be spoken aloud, a love condemned by the very vows he had sworn to uphold.

Yet still, he carried on, a solitary figure in a world colored by shades of longing and regret. For Geto Suguru, this was the price of loving someone—a price he paid willingly, even as it weighed heavily upon his soul. And so, with each step forward, he embraced his fate, walking the narrow path laid out before him, guided by the flickering light of a love that could never be extinguished.

Suguru knew that he sins against God often.

But God also knew the truth of all his vows.

God knew he would never abandon him now.

For he made sure that love, even now, wins all.

IT WAS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN HE WAS TOLD THAT THE CAR CRASH HAPPENED TO HIS LOVER. Everything about that day had played into his mind as though it was from the pictures. They reeled in a loop over and over ever so raw, burning his head into grief. Geto Suguru felt like the air was sucked from his lungs, leaving him gasping for breath. The sunflowers he had saved up to buy wrestling against his tight touch. He ran like a madman, he really did. Suguru couldn’t even care about the cars rushing here and there in the narrow streets, nearly killing him from the force. He knew he had to get to his lover.

When he took his first steps into the hospital halls, petals of the sunflower clustered into a mess. Almost as though the sun itself has been torn apart. A distressed look passed his face, chest tightening as he huffed for air. Nothing was making him feel relieved. He was shattered at the sight of his lover, eyes closed, full of bruises and cuts. His lover lay motionless, almost as though there was no life in them. Everything was in a haze. He drops the sunflowers as he tries to get closer. Tears streamed down his face like a sudden downpour, blurring his vision and leaving him stumbling blindly.

His legs gave way beneath him, buckling as if the ground itself had turned to quicksand. He collapsed to the floor with a heavy thud, the sound echoing in the sterile hospital room. His lover’s mother looked at him, clearly as distraught as him. Her hand wrapped against his back, telling him to be strong, that it would be alright. Tears clouded his vision, obscuring the sight of crisp white coats and polished floors that overwhelmed him. It was the worst news of Suguru’s life, a blow that left me reeling and broken.

He does not remember how he managed to stand, to even fathom to gather himself from the wreckage of my despair. He was told that there was doubt whether or not his beloved would ever wake. Those words echoed in his head. He could not fathom it. His beloved was fine when they bid each other good night, wrapped in those fits of laughter in between of those greedy kisses. Suguru shook as he wiped the tears from his face.

It was pathetic. He couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t even do anything to prevent this from happening. He could feel the weight of guilt in all the world. If he had not left the night before, if he had not let himself go out early by himself to pick up those damn sunflowers. His hands curl into a fist. Suguru squeezes and squeezes until his knuckles turn white.

With trembling steps, the dragon eyed young man curtailed to her bedside. There they were, my love, laying on the bed as though they were mere corpses rather than one with the living. The sight of them filled Suguru with a bittersweet ache. The memories composed of happier times spent together fractured at the sight of his worst nightmare come to pass. He could not help but bring his hand on top of their own, his weary hand resting on his lover’s colder one.

Tears threatened to spill once more, but he gathered all his strength and fought to hold them back. The memories in his head were no comfort to him. His grief shadowing the happier ghost, all of it fading into the recesses of time like wisps of smoke. Suguru wished that his joy was not ruined, shattered by the thought of bitter goodbye. He longed to hold onto them, to freeze time and relive those precious moments again and again. To make more and more memories once more. To live together, to love each other till they were old and gray.

He traced the lines of their face with trembling fingers, committing every curve and contour to memory. The bruises and cuts stood out starkly against their pale skin, a cruel testament to the violence of the accident that had torn them from him. Suguru's heart clenched with each shallow breath they took, a painful reminder of their struggle for life.

His mind raced with a torrent of emotions—guilt, regret, despair. If only he had been there, if only he had never left their side. The weight of his choices bore down on him like a heavy burden, threatening to crush him under its unforgiving weight. He squeezed their hand tighter, as if trying to anchor himself to the present moment, to this fragile connection that bound them together.

But amidst the despair, a flicker of hope remained. Hope that they would wake, that they would open their eyes and smile at him once more. Suguru clung to that hope with all his might, refusing to let go even as the darkness threatened to consume him.

Time seemed to stand still as he sat by their bedside, lost in his thoughts and prayers. The steady rhythm of their heartbeat was a comfort to him, a reassurance that they were still fighting, still holding on. And so, with a silent vow, Geto Suguru resolved to stay by their side, to weather this storm together, no matter what the future held.

For in that moment, as he gazed upon the face of his beloved, he knew that love was stronger than any tragedy, stronger even than death itself. And though the road ahead was fraught with uncertainty and pain, he would walk it with unwavering determination, fueled by the boundless power of his love.

He wishes he could give them his life.

He wishes that they wouldn’t suffer anymore.

Geto Suguru wished that fate would be kind.

He wishes that fate would let love win it all.

THE RAIN HAD KEPT POURING THROUGH THE WEEKS THAT PASSED. Misery has become him, one with the sky with the tears he had shed till his eyes were red. Until his there were no tears left to shed, until everything had become swollen with grief. As Geto Suguru stood in front of the towering wooden doors of the church, a sense of solemnity washed over him, mingling with the tears shed by the heavens. The rain fell in a steady rhythm, its soft patter echoing the turmoil in his heart. He took a deep breath, the weight of his emotions pressing down on him like a heavy burden.

As the rain continued to fall, mingling with his tears, Suguru closed his eyes and offered up a silent prayer to the heavens. He prayed for strength, for courage, for the wisdom to navigate the tumultuous waters of his heart.

The wide wooden doors of the church creaked open as Geto Suguru stepped inside, the dim light filtering through stained glass casting colorful patterns on the ancient stone walls. The scent of incense hung heavy in the air, wrapping around him like a comforting embrace as he made his way down the aisle, his footsteps echoing in the cavernous space.

The ancient stones of the church embraced him as he stepped inside, the hallowed air wrapping around him like a familiar cloak. The scent of polished wood and aged hymnals filled his senses, a poignant reminder of the solace he once sought within these walls. The flickering candles on the altar cast dancing shadows, and the dim light played on the arches and stained glass windows, creating an ethereal atmosphere.

Suguru's heart echoed with wants and desires in the silent chamber. The teachings ingrained in him from childhood whispered in the recesses of his mind, urging him to find refuge in prayer and divine guidance. The echoes of hymns sung by generations before him seemed to linger in the air, inviting him to return to the fold of tradition and the comfort of familiar rituals.

Yet, as he stood before the altar, the image of his beloved flashed in his mind—their laughter, their touch, the profound connection that transcended the boundaries of his faith. The pull of his love was relentless, an undeniable force that demanded his allegiance, even if it meant deviating from the path he had been raised to follow.

Suguru felt the weight of his decision settling on his shoulders, a burden he willingly bore for the sake of love. His humanity, with all its complexities and emotions, now took precedence over the structured teachings of the church. The internal conflict simmered within him, a storm raging in the sanctuary of his soul.

He closed his eyes, seeking a moment of inner peace amidst the turmoil. The hushed whispers of his prayers mingled with the quiet echoes of the sacred space. In that moment of vulnerability, he admitted to himself that, while a part of him longed for divine reassurance, the deeper recesses of his heart yearned for relief.

As Suguru opened his eyes, a sense of resolve hardened in his gaze. The silent sanctuary bore witness to his decision. He would navigate the uncharted waters of his heart, where the currents of love clashed with the tides of tradition. Whatever trials lay ahead, he would face them with the strength drawn from his love, embracing the complexities of his humanity with an unwavering spirit. And so, within the sacred walls that had once been a refuge, Suguru embarked on a journey that would test the boundaries of faith, love, and the intricate dance between the two.

With each step, his heart beat louder in his chest, a frantic rhythm matching the desperation in his soul. He approached the altar, where candles flickered and cast dancing shadows across the marble floor. Dropping to his knees before the crucifix, Suguru clasped his hands together in prayer, his voice trembling with emotion.

And as he opened his eyes once more, a sense of determination settled over him like a cloak. For he knew that his love was worth fighting for, worth sacrificing everything for. And no matter the obstacles that stood in his way, he would persevere, driven by the unwavering power of his love. Even at the cost of his suffering, he would do it all. As long as there is mercy on his grievous soul. As long as his beloved lived.

"God, please," he whispered, his voice raw with anguish. "I beg of you, spare their life. I would do anything, anything at all, to see them open their eyes again, to feel their touch, to hear their voice."

Tears streamed down his face unchecked as he poured out his heart to the heavens, his words a desperate plea for mercy. He recounted every moment they had shared, every laugh, every touch, every whispered word of love. He promised to devote his life to serving others, to spreading kindness and compassion in their name, if only they would be granted another chance at life.

"Take me instead," he pleaded, his voice breaking with emotion. "Let me bear their suffering, their pain. Just please, don't take them from me. I cannot bear to live in a world without them."

His anguished cries echoed off the stone walls, only to be swallowed by the oppressive stillness that surrounded him. The weight of his despair pressed down on him like a physical force, threatening to crush him under its unbearable burden.

The ancient tapestries that adorned the walls seemed to hang motionless, their once-vibrant colors muted by the somber atmosphere of the sacred space. The flickering candles on the altar cast dancing shadows that danced across the floor, but even their gentle movements failed to break the oppressive silence that enveloped Suguru like a shroud.

He bowed his head in resignation, his heart heavy with grief as he awaited any sign, any glimmer of hope in the suffocating darkness. His breath came in shallow gasps, the sound barely audible in the quietude of the church.

In the absence of any response, Suguru's mind raced with doubt and fear. Was he truly alone in his suffering? Had his prayers fallen on deaf ears, unheard and unanswered by the divine presence he had once believed in so fervently?

Desperation clawed at his chest as he searched for some semblance of comfort, some sign that he was not abandoned in his hour of need. But the silence remained unbroken, stretching on endlessly like a vast expanse of emptiness.

And yet, amidst the despair that threatened to consume him, Suguru clung to a fragile thread of hope. He refused to surrender to the darkness that threatened to engulf him, determined to find solace in the faint whisper of his own breath and the gentle rustle of the church's ancient tapestries.

For in the depths of his despair, he knew that even the smallest glimmer of hope could illuminate the darkest corners of his soul, guiding him through the shadows and leading him towards the light. And so, with a heavy heart and a steadfast resolve, Suguru bowed his head and continued to wait, praying for the strength to endure and the courage to persevere in the face of adversity.

Grief clung so desperately for hours and hours.

When he left, he was told of the good news.

Yet, when he came back to the church, he knew.

All good things, even love, come with a price.

SUGURU HAD NEVER CRIED SO MUCH IN HIS LIFE. But he was sure his beloved cried even more than him.The room exuded an aura of scarred intimacy, illuminated by the gentle flicker of candlelight that danced across the walls, painting them in hues of warm amber and soft gold. The soft glow cast a serene ambiance, enveloping the space in a cocoon of tranquility, yet beneath its soothing facade lay an undercurrent of tension that crackled in the air like static electricity.

The silence hung in the air like a heavy fog, thick and suffocating, wrapping around Geto Suguru and his beloved like a vice. It was not the comforting silence of a peaceful night, but rather a haunting void that seemed to echo with the weight of unspoken words and suppressed emotions. Everything about this moment felt like a ripple of harsh waves crashing against the two of them over and over again. Yet they knew they couldn't do much about it.

Each passing moment only served to amplify the eerie stillness that permeated the room, casting a pall of unease over the space. It felt as though time itself had frozen, leaving Suguru and his beloved suspended in a limbo of uncertainty and apprehension.

The bitter taste of silence lingered on Suguru's tongue, a bitter reminder of the words left unsaid and the emotions left unexpressed. It was a silence that felt cruel in its relentless grip, refusing to yield even as the tension between them threatened to suffocate them both.

As they sat in the suffocating stillness, Suguru's heart ached with the weight of the unspoken, the words trapped within him like caged birds desperate to be set free. But the silence held them captive, binding them in its icy embrace and leaving them to grapple with the bitter reality of their unvoiced fears and unacknowledged desires.

In the midst of this oppressive silence, Suguru and his beloved found themselves adrift in a sea of uncertainty, their hearts heavy with the burden of what could have been, what should have been, but was not. And as they struggled to navigate the treacherous waters of their shared silence, they could only cling to each other, seeking solace in the warmth of their intertwined hands amidst the bitter chill of the eerie stillness that enveloped them.

Geto Suguru sat across from his beloved, their hands intertwined in a tight embrace, fingers laced together in a silent resignation. The flickering shadows cast by the candles danced across the room, their movements reflecting the depth of the turmoil that churned within Suguru's heart. The atmosphere was heavy with anticipation, each breath laden with unspoken words and unvoiced fears. The palpable sense of unease hung thick in the air, wrapping around them like a heavy shroud, casting a shadow over the room despite the warmth of the candlelight.

Suguru's gaze never wavered from his beloved's face, his eyes searching theirs for any sign of understanding, any flicker of acceptance. But beneath the surface, he could sense the tumult of emotions that roiled within them, a storm of uncertainty and apprehension that mirrored his own inner turmoil. His beloved’s eyes were red from crying, swollen with grief as they made sense of the words uttered. What does it all mean, they wanted to ask. What does parting mean?

The air between them crackled with tension, a silent barrier that seemed to grow thicker with each passing moment. Suguru felt the weight of their shared silence pressing down on him, a suffocating presence that threatened to choke the words from his throat. And yet, despite the heaviness that hung between them, Suguru clung to the fragile thread of hope that lingered in the air. Hope that there would still be love, that there would be understanding. Even if he has to leave, leave the person he loved dearest, that love still wins.

In the soft glow of the candlelight, amidst the flickering shadows and the palpable tension that filled the room, Suguru and his beloved sat together in a silent embrace, their hands clasped tightly as they braced themselves to make sense of the world that now was birthed with his words. Suguru took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he knew would change everything. His heart raced in his chest as he met his lover's gaze, the warmth of their eyes like a balm to his troubled soul.

"I know this is hard to accept." Suguru began, his voice steady despite the turmoil raging within him. "But I have to. I have to leave. I need to.”

His lover's eyes widened in shock, their grip on his hand tightening almost imperceptibly. "But why?" they whispered, brows furrowing into sorrow. "Why now? What about us?"

Suguru's heart ached at the pain in their voice, the anguish written plainly on their face. "I love you," he repeated, his voice trembling with emotion. "More than anything in this world. But I….”

"But you love God," his lover countered, their words heavy with resignation. "More than you love me."

Tears welled in Suguru's eyes as he shook his head, his heart breaking at the accusation in their words. "No," he whispered hoarsely. "That's not true. I love you with every fiber of my being. But this is something I need to do. I need to. Not because I…..”

His lover's shoulders slumped in defeat, tears glistening in their eyes as they looked away. Suguru reached out, gently cupping their face in his hands, willing them to understand.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice filled with regret. "I'm sorry for the pain this will cause you. But please know that my love for you will never waver. It will always be a part of me, no matter where life takes me."

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the top of their head, his lips lingering against their hair. "I love you," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. "I love you more than words can express."

And in that moment, as they sat together in the dimly lit room, surrounded by flickering candlelight and the weight of unspoken words, Suguru held his lover close, praying silently that they would find solace in the depth of his love, even as he embarked on a journey that would take him away from them.

When the morning came, he was already gone.

By the afternoon, he looked at the altar once more.

By night, he surrendered to the heavy priestly robes.

Love wins all, even the dawn of all the heartbreak.

WHEN HE SAW THEM AGAIN, HE KNEW HE WOULD BE BREAKING HIS HEART OVER AND OVER AGAIN. But as Father Suguru Geto looked into his lover – how they lived and how they have aged so beautifully, he couldn't help but feel no regret at breaking his heart once again. They still look the same, so wondrous. It was as though they were the beckoning stars watching over them. His heart pounded against his chest, bursting with yearning and grief, over a life already lost. His love for his beloved continued to persist, to win it all – at the expense of his beloved standing before him, living a life beyond him.

“Long time no see," Suguru whispered, the words escaping his lips in a hushed tone, laden with a mixture of nostalgia and restraint. The blink that followed seemed to bridge the gap between the past and the present, a futile attempt to clear away the emotional fog that hung between them.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you too.”

"Sugu—No, uh, Father. Father Geto," they stammered, the words catching in their throat as they struggled to reconcile the familiarity of the old name with the newfound title of reverence. The transition from the intimate to the formal underscored the undeniable transformation Suguru had undergone.

"Indeed, it has been a long time," Suguru replied, his voice carrying the weight of unspoken truths. The use of the formal title added a layer of formality to their exchange, a thin veil attempting to conceal the depth of the emotions lingering beneath the surface.

A heavy silence settled between them, and the flickering street lamp seemed to cast a spotlight on the unresolved tension in the air. Their gaze lingered on Suguru's face, searching for traces of the person they once knew within the contours of the priest before them. Father Geto, his expression a mask of duty and restraint, nodded in acknowledgment.

"Yes, it has," he replied, his voice a measured cadence that echoed through the quiet night.

They bit hard at their lower lip, a nervous habit that betrayed the turbulence within. The words unsaid, the questions unasked, hung in the air like a delicate thread waiting to unravel. The night embraced the weight of their emotions, and the street lamp continued to flicker, casting its dim glow further upon the scene—a reunion tainted by the passage of time and the choices that led them down divergent paths.

Their eyes shimmered with unshed tears as Suguru let the passage of time settle in the air. The chasm between them widened, and in that moment of silence, it seemed to stretch into eternity—a vast expanse of unspoken emotions and missed opportunities.

"Suguru," They whispered, unable to mask the vulnerability in their voice. The name hung between them, a bridge attempting to span the gap created by titles and time.

Suguru's gaze flickered with a mixture of pain and understanding. Yet in between, so much love. So much devotion – sealed away for what remained of all his life. Reserved for a lifetime where his yearning to duty, to god, did not win.

"Please," he began, the weight of his own emotions evident in the quiver of his voice, "Call me Father Geto. It's the only way we can navigate this... this impossibility."

The words hung heavy in the air, a poignant acknowledgment of the constraints that bound them. They merely nodded, a small, pained acceptance of the reality that lay before them. He could see their despair in their orbs. He could feel himself wishing he could rush to them, to wrap his arms around them once again. To comfort them. To give them the warmth of the world, to keep them safe—beside him. Yet he knew more than anyone that this was better. This distance was better.

"Father Geto," They uttered, the words tasting foreign on their tongue.

A sigh, heavy with the burden of unspoken regrets and heartfelt apologies, escaped Suguru's lips, its fragile tendrils weaving through the quiet air like wisps of smoke seeking release from the confines of his troubled soul. Each breath seemed to carry with it the weight of a thousand moments left unsaid, a silent lament for the words left unspoken and the emotions left unexpressed.

In that fleeting exhale, Suguru released the pent-up tension that had coiled within him like a tightly wound spring, allowing the weight of his regrets to spill forth into the quiet space between them. It was a sound that spoke volumes, a poignant expression of the complex emotions that churned within him—a mixture of remorse, longing, and the profound ache of a heart burdened by the weight of its own unfulfilled desires.

As the sigh dissipated into the stillness of the room, it left behind a palpable sense of vulnerability, a raw honesty that hung in the air like a delicate thread waiting to be acknowledged. Suguru's gaze, haunted by the ghosts of what could have been, met theirs, seeking solace in the silent communion of shared pain and unspoken truths.

In that fragile exhale, Suguru bared his soul, offering a silent apology for the wounds he had inflicted, both intentionally and unintentionally. It was a gesture of humility, a recognition of his own fallibility and the impact of his choices on those he held dear. And though his words remained unspoken, their presence lingered in the air like a whispered prayer, a plea for forgiveness in a universe that seemed indifferent to the intricacies of human hearts.

"I never wanted it to be like this," he confessed, his eyes betraying a sadness that transcended the boundaries of their shared history.

"I know," they replied, aching with the burden of understanding. The streetlamp's flickering light cast a dance of shadows on Suguru's face, emphasizing the lines etched by time and choices.

The heavy silence persisted, a tangible force that hung in the air like a shroud. Their gaze fought to be tender as they remained fixed on Suguru's face, as though trying to find solace in the familiar features that had once provided comfort and warmth.

Father Geto, a master of self-discipline, struggled to maintain the mask of duty and restraint. Yet he no doubt knows that his lover knew him better than that. His eyes tell every story ever so easily. Only his beloved would know how to see the universe in his eyes. Yet he knew that his beloved wouldn’t dare. He knew that they would not want to break even more than they already have. It was the right thing to do. Suguru was certain that he would let the tears flow, to let his eyes reflect the sufferings of his own heart in full view.

"We are bound by different paths now," he said, each word resonating with the finality of their choices.

They took a hesitant step forward, their movements tentative as if navigating the treacherous terrain of an emotional battlefield. Each footfall seemed to echo in the silent space between them, a solemn cadence that resonated with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions.

With each step, they inched closer, their gaze fixed on Suguru's face as if seeking reassurance in the depths of his eyes. It was a gesture fraught with uncertainty, a silent plea for understanding in a moment fraught with tension and apprehension.

As they bridged the distance between them, it was as though they were traversing an invisible barrier that separated their hearts, a boundary erected by the complexities of their shared history and the weight of unspoken truths. The air crackled with anticipation, a palpable sense of unease hanging heavy in the space between them like a shroud.

Their movements were cautious, deliberate, as if treading on fragile ground that threatened to give way beneath their feet. Each step forward carried with it the weight of their shared past, a delicate dance of vulnerability and courage as they navigated the uncharted territory of their emotions.

And yet, despite the uncertainty that hung in the air like a veil, there was a palpable sense of determination in their movements, a silent resolve to confront the barriers that stood between them and the possibility of reconciliation. With each hesitant step, they drew closer to Suguru, their hearts yearning for the connection they had lost but never forgotten.

"Do you ever regret it?" they asked, their voice a mere whisper in the quiet night.

Suguru's eyes, haunted by the ghosts of what could have been, met theirs in a poignant exchange that spoke volumes without the need for words. In the depths of his gaze, they glimpsed the echoes of their shared past, a tapestry woven with the threads of laughter and tears, joy and sorrow.

There was a vulnerability in Suguru's eyes, a rawness that betrayed the weight of his unspoken regrets and the ache of missed opportunities. In that moment of silent communion, they felt the weight of their shared history pressing down upon them, a burden too heavy to bear yet impossible to ignore.

And yet, beneath the veil of sadness that shrouded Suguru's gaze, there lingered a flicker of hope—a glimmer of possibility that danced on the edges of their shared sorrow. It was a fleeting moment, a fragile ember amidst the ashes of their broken dreams, but it was enough to kindle a spark of longing within their hearts.

As they stood locked in a silent exchange, each searching the other for traces of the love they had lost, they found themselves teetering on the precipice of a decision that would shape the course of their shared future. In the depths of Suguru's haunted eyes, they saw a reflection of their own yearning, a silent plea for a second chance at the love that had eluded them.

And in that moment, as the weight of their unspoken desires hung heavy in the air, they knew that they stood at a crossroads—a fleeting moment suspended in time where the possibility of reconciliation hung in the balance, waiting to be seized or lost forever.

"I would be lying if I said I didn’t," he admitted, the confession heavy with the weight of his own longing.

Tears welled up in their eyes, and they fought to keep their composure. They struggled against the truth of their feelings yet soon enough, they spilled the truth as easily as one would notice a river flowed into the stream. His beloved looked down, almost besotted with the nostalgia of a love still overflowing. They would never escape the thought of loving one another. Not in this lifetime and nor the next. Their love for one another would win all, even this distance wrought with sacrifice and tears.

"I thought time would make it easier," they confessed, a raw vulnerability laid bare beneath the dim glow of the streetlamp.

Suguru offered them a weary smile, a flicker of shared pain passing between them like a silent lament for what once was. The weight of their unspoken emotions hung heavy in the air, a palpable reminder of the wounds that time had failed to fully heal.

"Time has a way of revealing wounds we thought were healed," he said, his voice carrying the weight of hard-earned wisdom as he gazed into their eyes, searching for traces of the love they had lost. The truth echoed through the hallowed space between them, resonating with the bittersweet melody of their shared history.

The night embraced them, its silent embrace a testament to the intricacies of their intertwined destinies. Beneath the flickering street lamp, they stood as silent witnesses to the fragile beauty of a love both tender and tormented, its echoes reverberating through the quiet air like a haunting melody.

"I miss you," they whispered, the words a whispered confession that hung in the cool night air like a delicate promise, laden with the weight of untold stories and the lingering ache of unresolved emotions.

Suguru, offering a tender smile that belied the depths of his own sorrow, whispered back, "It'll pass," his voice a gentle reassurance in the face of their shared pain.

"I know," they replied, their voice carrying the wisdom of a soul that had weathered the storms of love and loss, accepting the transient beauty of their shared pain with a quiet resignation that spoke volumes of their resilience and strength.

As if prompted by an unseen force, they both turned, their hearts guiding them toward separate destinies. They who are still tethered to the past, lingered in the shadows of what could have been, as if waiting for a final resolution that might never come. Suguru, facing the far reach of the church's dome like a silent sentinel, took a moment to compose himself, tears betraying the stoic facade he wore as a priest.

"I love you too," Suguru confessed, the words a whispered goodbye, a final benediction offered to a love that had been both a sanctuary and a storm.

And then, with a heavy silence enveloping them like a shroud, they finally parted ways. Each step echoed the closing of a chapter, a poignant farewell etched into the fabric of their souls—a bittersweet symphony played beneath the dim glow of a street lamp, where love and destiny converged and diverged in the grand tapestry of life.

As if propelled by some unseen force, a cosmic hand guiding their movements, they both turned away from each other, their hearts pulling them in opposite directions, toward separate destinies. Yet, they remained tethered to the past by the fragile threads of memories and regrets, lingering in the shadows of what could have been, their souls yearning for closure that might forever elude them.

Suguru, standing before the grandeur of the church's dome like a silent sentinel, faced the far-reaching expanse with a heavy heart. His demeanor, usually composed and stoic, betrayed the turmoil within as tears welled in his eyes, threatening to shatter the carefully crafted facade he wore as a priest.

"I love you too," Suguru confessed softly, his voice barely audible above the hushed whisper of the night, the words a whispered goodbye that hung in the air like a solemn vow, a final benediction offered to a love that had been both a sanctuary and a storm.

With a heavy silence enveloping them like a suffocating shroud, they finally parted ways. Each step they took echoed the closing of a chapter, a poignant farewell etched into the fabric of their souls—a bittersweet symphony played beneath the dim glow of a street lamp, where love and destiny converged and diverged in the intricate tapestry of life's ever-unfolding narrative.

They will be fine.

They will live together.

They will continue to love.

Love will forever win all.

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dovesintherain · 6 months

Text

all encompassing

word count: 1.5k

warnings: fluff, extremely brief mention of smut

an: this poured out of me… so i wrote it impulsively. consider it a love letter of sorts, to our most cherished larissa.

tears not of sadness or joy... but of love

It was a rare sight to wake before her, your early bird. A sight so rare that each miraculous time it happened you cherished the moment like the gift that it was.

The sheer curtains that hung from her windows did little to block the crisp winter sun, but you found it impossible to be agitated when it painted her with such grace. Your sleeping swan, unconscious and innocent to her ethereal state, was a near mirror image to the icy landscape that stretched into the horizon. Freckled alabaster hills and valleys lay bare and untouched next to discarded linen sheets. You were utterly enraptured as the warm rays tangled themselves around her, illuminating fair eyelashes and messy curls spun from sunlight. You could have watched her for hours, finding a new way to be awed by the woman laying next to you as minutes blew by with the wind. The careful mapping of her sleeping figure came to a sudden pause when you noticed that you, too, were being observed.

Those eyes… so deep and vast like the sky and the sea, were glossy and unfocused. Her usual sharp stare softened around the edges as she pulled herself into the waking world. These were the moments that placed a gentle hum in your bones. A quiet buzz that tugged at the corners of your mouth and brought colour to your cheeks. The wrinkles beside her eyes that appeared when she smiled back downright levelled you. Completely unravelled and utterly safe in the warmth of her, your Larissa. You knew you had to get up soon, you both did. But in this moment, enveloped in tender and endless softness, you couldn’t find the willpower to move a single inch. The blue of her eyes poured so much of her love into your soul it began to overflow, filling your eyes.

You felt foolish. Powerless against the sheer magnitude of affection you held for her. The evocative mixture of memories you made in this very bed merely hours ago initiated the retelling. Neurons firing haphazardly within your skull as the memories, moments in time, filled your mind. All the laughter, the hushed conversations, the secrets, the sex, the fights, the lingering touches, the longing gazes glided rapidly behind your eyes. The story, the journey, in all its complicated and messy glory. Flashes of your time together dancing all the way back to the beginning. It all brewed together in your belly as a warmth began to grow and a burning stung your eyes. Sizzling until a boiling point where you could no longer contain yourself. Suddenly it was all too much. It was all her. It always was. When you finally caved, the dam finally breaking, you blinked and the tears fell.

She knew you so well. With an unbreaking certainty. Like the lines in her palm or the feeling of her favourite sweater against her skin. She knew you like how she knew the sun would rise only to fall and reveal the moon. She knew you beyond your body, beyond your mind and dare you say beyond your soul. She knew you so well that to her this was no surprise. No reason for unease or perturbation. As her gaze shifts once she notices the tracks on your cheeks it does not falter, it only grows softer.

To you, it always felt silly, the endless expanse of love you held escaping through the leaky faucets of your eyes, but every drop that landed on your skin would fill her soul ten fold. You watched as she slid her hand out from under her pillow and brought it to your face. The pads of her fingers collecting your tears would feel like an invitation for needless apologies, but you see… you also knew her. You knew that her fingers dancing across your cheek would press ever so slightly against your lips, making your words retreat back into your throat and into the far corners of your mind. Unreachable. So you hold them, where they remain lining the roof of your mouth and the backs of your teeth.

You knew that she would remind you like the endless times before that there is no need to be sorry. She would remind you what a privilege it is to feel so deeply. Deeply, unconditionally, wholeheartedly. Her gentle caresses would lose precision due to the trembling emotion in her fingertips when she would tell you what an honour it is. How privileged she feels to be held and kept so safely in your heart. Your heart. That poor useless thing. Stuttering, jumping and in most cases stopping completely in the presence of your lover. Maybe if your maker had known just how hard and fast you fell for the woman inches away from you, they wouldn’t have given you such a feeble vessel.

You knew that the low register of her voice in the morning would disarm you completely. The rasp of her sleepy vocal cords would vertebrate through you and create yet another crack in your shell. As if she hasn't already stripped you of all your armour, you'd think to yourself. The shell you once carried, that you once retreated into… long gone, instead morphing into the shape of the woman laying next to you. Your haven, your castle, your home. So you let the tears fall freely and let your mind and heart feel full. Full of her. There was no need to worry as the woman who held your soul in her hands saw your love for her reflected in the shine on your cheeks.

Larissa was a force. She was strong, she was fierce… but God she was gentle. Gentle in the way she addressed her students, folded laundry and turned the pages of books. She was gentle but never with herself, which broke your heart. Never good enough. That traitorous and poisonous lie you knew she told to herself everyday. You didn’t have to hear the words leave her lips to know how heavy the weight she carried was. You saw it. It was difficult to catch but with a trained eye you could see it. You knew her well enough that it stared at you in the face. The cynical shadow that hovered over her. You saw it in the bags under her eyes that she would shift away or cover with makeup. You saw it in the residual wine at the bottom of her third glass. You saw it in the countless nights that you would wake up to a cold bed only to find her working tirelessly down in her office. Your pillar of strength cracking itself from the inside.

But what that shadow didn’t know was that there was an aid. A light that Larissa went her whole life without… you. You with your feeble heart that would beat in sync with hers. Your presence would chase it away, back into the recesses of her thoughts, giving her a moment's peace. Relieving her of the weight. You always let yourself feel smug when her negative thoughts would retreat with its tail between its legs because in those moments she was entirely yours. Your pillar of strength unburdened. It was a promise you made to yourself, that any damage the lies she told herself would cause, you would mend. Brick by brick.

It was such a simple thing really, and even if it wasn’t… you would still do it for her. You’d do anything for her. But the little acts of kindness were enough. Little reminders to show her that she was always enough because nothing fed your soul quite like seeing her happy. The chuckles that escaped her when you attempted to carry a ridiculously large bouquet of flowers (that you could barely see over) through her office doors. The flush that would take over her complexion when you would tell her how beautiful she looked when she was completely undone. Even the way you could feel the tension leave her through a quiet exhale when you would wordlessly lace your fingers together with hers. You knew that if she’d let you, that you would do those little things for the rest of the time you’d be graciously granted with her.

Oh the little games you played. The unspoken rules you both followed. Fighting her demons while you let her wipe your needless tears. Your early bird, your sleeping swan, your pillar of strength, your keeper of your feeble heart, your lover, your everything… your Larissa. As the tears finally slowed to a stop, her hand drifted from your cheeks. Her fingertips traced over your lips with the precision of a well practised painter. Among the million thoughts of her flying through your brain a single phrase reared its head. Just like it did every morning, evening and night. A truth that ran so deep in your bones it shook you to your very core. Three little words that were carved into your heart and with a single breath you whispered them into her skin.

“I love you.”

cheers to the discomfort of exposure therapy @weemssapphic !

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems fluff #larissa weems imagines #wlw #fluff

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ghoulystay · 8 months

Text

New Love? Part 2

A Simon "Ghost" Riley, König, and Y/N story.

This is the second part of New Love?

If you haven't read New Love? Go check it out so the second part makes sense. Thanks 💕

Some Smut.

18 and over readers.

Mature themes.

Female reader.

Mature Audiences.

"Simon? Whaa..what are you doing here?"

He looks at you with intensity. How could this be? Is this some cruel, twisted joke? Are you hallucinating? Simon is standing in front of your doorstep. You feel frozen, and what's worse, you feel guilt. You snap back to reality when Ghost interrupts your deep thinking. "Not the reaction I was hoping for, baby." He looks a bit disappointed. Why aren't you inviting him in? This feels awkward. "Oh my gosh, haha, what am I thinking, please come in, love." You move aside, letting him enter. He looks around for a good second. Reality hits you again. You were just intimate with a man not that long ago to make matters worse, a man that Simon knew too well. They were not that fond of each other. Simon didn't trust König especially when it involved you. Much to your attention, you never knew how much König actually kept his eyes on you before, but Simon knew, of course he knew. And now you slept with the same man he despised. "Something feels... different." If there was something about Simon that you knew about him is his intuition was always spot on. It was like his gift. But why wouldn't he know? He is THE Ghost, after all. "Um, I got new curtains." You try to distract him with something before he picked up on anything. You walk towards the curtains to show them off better for him, but Ghost being Ghost, he doesn't drop things right away. You start feeling nervous and sweaty. What if he finds out? Oh my gosh, what will he do when he finds out? The air begins feeling thick and heavy. "Do.. I mean.. would you like to rest? You look tired." His eyes look to yours. He makes his way to you slowly. You can feel your heartbeat increase rapidly. He stands over you, and he pulls you in his arms. You feel relieved and melt into his embrace. "Why so nervous, y/n, I can feel your heart racing." See, nothing slips past him. His senses are always spot on. Throughout your relationship with him, you definitely learned that with Simon, it was impossible to keep things from him because he would always know, you knew that's how come he was known throughout his military career as one of the best soldiers in our time and you couldn't agree more. "I'm still in shock is all, I was lost every day without you, Simon." Tears begin streaming down your face. You bury your face on his chest. He holds you tighter. "I'm sorry, y/n, believe me, it was definitely a difficult mission I was ever a part of. It was an order that I had to follow. To stay in the shadows from everyone, including you." You're heart breaks. You knew it, you felt it. Everyone was pushing you to leave him and accept fate, but you knew in your heart that you couldn't, and now you had made a choice to give in to the inedible and at what cost? You slept with König and for a second, you began feeling a connection with him. Guilt hits you again. You push away from Simon's embrace, and his eyes show confusion and sadness. "I need to go lay down." You walk away. You feel his eyes following you as you make your way to the bedroom. As you close the door behind you, you walk towards the bed and crash in it. Tears streaming down your cheeks, you bury your face in the pillow as you cry to sleep.

That Night.

You were in bed. When you feel a mouth on your cunt. A head between your legs. Hands gripping your waist. Your eyes open and see Simon's face in between your legs. A moan escapes your lips. Your pussy soaked. His tongue licking all of you. You move your waist up and down as he continues with his mouth. One of your hands makes its way down to your soft spot, you rub as he continues licking. "Oh, Simon." You're eyes rolling back. Just when you were about to cum he stops. He gets on top of you, spreading your legs open with his legs. "I've missed you, y/n." His lips find yours, the taste of your cunt linger on his lips, but you didn't care, tongues dancing in each other's mouths. He inserts inside you. He slips in so easily. He thrusts hard, not holding anything back. Moans and heavy grunts echo throughout the bedroom. You and Simon made love for hours that night.

The next morning.

You wake up to find Simon not in bed. Odd?

You call out to him, but there is no response. You get out of bed and put on your panties and one of Simon's t-shirts. You make your way to the living room when you find Simon sitting on the couch staring at you as you walk in. He's already dressed in his gear from head to toe. You couldn't help but feel something feeling off, and it made you feel very uneasy. "Is there anything I should know, y/n?" Oh gosh.. this is it. He definitely knows something. "Simon.. I..." You couldn't say it. You just got him back, but after what happened with König now, Simon will definitely leave you. Why wouldn't he? You were with another man, ffs. "I know someone's been here and not just here but also in you." Fuck! Now, it makes sense. Last night was all business. Idiot! You should have known. "So you didn't make love to me because you missed me?!" You blurted out loudly. He chuckles. "Oh, I missed you, baby, but with how long I was absent, my poor girl's pretty little cunt wasn't as tight as I figured it would be. Tell me, my love, why? Did you play with yourself? But how could you if you don't have a toy to get the job done." Bastard he is so smart. "Let's not forget the smell of sex in the air as I walked through the door yesterday, or did you not notice it lingering in the air, my love." You immediately feel your stomach get in knots. He stands walking towards you, now inches from each other. His eyes on yours. "Now tell me y/n, who had the privilege to fuck what's mine?" You swallow hard. You might as well come clean at this point. You know he's gonna find out one way or another. You take a deep breath. "König.." You see anger and betrayal in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Simon." He scoffed as he turned away from you. Is he leaving? "Simon.. where are you going?" He wouldn't answer. He began making his way towards the door. He stopped in front of the door. His back is still facing you. He turned his head to the side, and he muttered his last words over his shoulder. "König is going to fucking pay." He opened the door and slammed it behind him.

The End. To be continued.

Oh crap! What will happen next? What's Ghost gonna do? Stay tuned for more.

The third part of this series will be out next week.

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eleganzadellarosa · 4 months

Text

Coffee Kisses ☕️ | Part 2

pairing: barista!kyungsoo x poc reader (ft. Baekhuyn)

genre: fluff, smut, angst, strangers to lovers

warnings: SEXUAL CONTENT MDNI (unprotected sex (wrap it up pretty please), pet names (baby, princess, love)), fast paced plot

word count: 3.3k+

A/N: Part 2 of Coffee Kisses! This is told from the reader's POV. The end of the story is written in 3rd person to help everything flow better. Enjoy and thanks for reading :)

taglist: @sleepingbeautydo

Part 1 can be found here

The first time I stepped foot in the cafe, I didn't expect to leave with a newfound obsession for coffee or a crush. It was almost impossible to leave without one and I'm talking about the latter. It was impressive, how much care he seemed to put into every order, determined to bring perfection to each cup.

I lied to myself saying I came back everyday just for the deep flavors of the espressos when in reality it was always for him. Maybe not the first time, but definitely every time after that. That's just how addicted I was. He was my cup of espresso. Something I needed every day to feel awake and alive.

The eye contact snatched my breath away, made my heart skip a beat. I thought maybe time had stopped every time he looked my way. And what was that look on his face? He was smiling each day he saw me walk through that door, seeing a familiar face to bring a sense of comfort.

Then like a flash of lightning, I had to go away without even having the chance to tell him. I hated to do it but I had good reason to, I just wish I could have kept in touch. I tried, I really did but I wasn't so lucky to be given the chance to have him in my life, even if just as friends.

I counted down the days to my return, planning out how it would go in my head. I wanted to live my fairytale moment, bursting through the doors for him to run up and pull me into a kiss. That wasn't going to happen, I didn't even know him like that but a girl can dream right? Would he want to see me after so long? Would I have the opportunity to tell him what happened? He was such a nice person and I hope he didn’t think I took that for granted.

I sat on the bus, window seat as always, heart racing the closer it drove to its destination. The same bus stop I would get off on every day just to see him standing behind the counter, doing what he does best.

The ride seemed so long or maybe it was my rapid heart beat slowing down the time. I was starting to doubt coming here, all due to my budding anxiety, or maybe it was guilt. I did want to tell him, but that day was so busy and I couldn't wait much longer before I had to go home and get ready for my flight. Thinking back on it now, perhaps I should've done the cliche thing and wrote my number on a napkin and left it at my table with a cute "call me ;)" but I'm way too shy to do that.

I recognized where I was now but something was wrong. Did I get on the wrong one? Did I miss the stop? There's no way. I did this every day last year so even if I tried to forget, my body would remember. Yet, it was gone. The sign was taken down, the windows were boarded up; everything about it looked abandoned. I had no air to breathe and my heart ached with sadness. How much have I missed?

I tried to stop them but the tears fell from my eyes before I knew what was happening. I sat back down with a plop and hoped I pulled off not looking like my dog just died. I was to blame for not knowing all of this happened while I was away. I could only imagine how sad he must be not having his job anymore and based off of the nonexistent notice on the door, I don't think they moved locations. Even if we didn't talk about me and where I was for a whole year, I wanted to find a way to contact him so I could be his comfort.

Back home, I questioned if there was any reason for me to be back. The person I was most excited to see was gone and I didn't know where he went. Now I really regret not leaving him a note. I sat on my couch with my legs crossed trying to relax as much as I could. Getting on social media was best for times like these right? Now that I think about it, I signed out before I left and hadn't signed in since. There are probably a few people wondering where I went and I did just go cold turkey. Might as well add that to the list of things to feel guilty about.

Just as I thought, I had tons of notifications but one in particular caught my eye. I quickly straightened my slouched position and my eyes grew wide. NO WAY I shouted so loud that my hearing faded; my ears way of trying to protect me from going deaf. Kyungsoo had requested to follow me even though I'm not sure how he found my account. That was quickly answered when I saw he also follows Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was a great friend who I didn't really get to spend much time with since he was always so busy working in the studio. I've always been grateful for our friendship but now I'd have to give him an extra tight hug next time I saw him, and knowing his personality, it would put a big smile on his face. I had lots of messages from him but they’d have to wait until I handled what I felt was “more important”. I didn't hesitate to follow Kyungsoo back and I hoped he took initiative to message me first just so I know everything was cool between us. I shouldn’t be so worried but it felt like I messed up a relationship we could’ve built. I’d have to play the waiting game now and see what was to become of us.

It's been two months and I've honestly forced myself to forget about it. I shouldn't feel so upset since I did the same thing to him, but he doesn't even seem to have been in his account to see that I followed him back. As much as I tried to forget, there's also a part of me that feels desperate to call Chanyeol and ask if he's heard from him.

Maybe I could build up the courage after I have a cup of coffee. I know it wouldn't be the same as Kyungsoo's but this new place has good reviews and there's a bus stop not too far from it. It's six stops away from my house, so as long as I keep track of how many times the bus stops, I can keep myself occupied until then.

45 minutes have passed and the bus is on stop number five. It seemed to have been stopping for a bit longer this time but I paid no mind to it. It wasn't until I saw a figure standing toward the front of the bus that I looked up and saw a man, who was breathing heavily and looking straight at me. Taking an even closer look, his clothes were wet. Oh shit was it raining? I totally didn’t have an umbrella.

He wasn't far away but I found myself squinting just to make sure what I was seeing was real. I hadn't recognized him on first glance because he looked different. Even more handsome than I last remember and he had a head full of hair. He looked great. I no longer cared about the coffee, I just wanted to talk to him. I started smiling and stood up faster than I could control my body, causing me to stumble on the edge of the seat, but thankfully he was there to grab my arm to stop my fall.

We stared at each other for what felt longer than it actually was. When I saw his chest rise as if he wanted to say something, I spoke up instead, wanting to be the first person to say something since I felt he deserved it.

"Kyungsoo...is that you?"

He held my hand, a look of desperation in his eyes. "Please, come with me. I can't get off this bus without you."

The offer was too good to pass up especially since I didn't get a chance to say my piece yet. I nodded and he smiled as he pulled me in the direction of the door. He removed his brown, leather jacket and used it to shield my hair and body from the pouring rain. I chuckled under my breath when I heard one elderly lady clap as we walked away with each other. He stopped under the veranda of the bus stop and brushed off the seat so I could sit down.

"Sorry I made you come out in the rain, I...just didn't want to lose you again." He shook the droplets of water off his jacket and sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry I left without getting the chance to tell you. I tried to, I really did." I spoke to him as I folded my headphones and put them in my bag.

"Don't worry about that, I'm just so happy I get to see you again." I could tell that admitting that made a blush rise on his cheeks. Gosh, he's so cute. He shyly scratched the back of his head and laughed slightly.

“My grandmother was sick and my mom wanted help taking care of her. I wanted to tell you but my flight was leaving that day so I couldn’t stick around.”

“It’s okay, I understand. I hope she’s doing better now.” He offered a comforting smile and I nodded my head. Thunder rolled across the sky and the raindrops increased. “I would say let’s go back to my job, but I just clocked out.” He pointed behind him and surely he aimed at the place I thought I was going to.

“Fate really wanted us to meet, that’s the cafe I was going to try today but I thought it was another stop away.”

He was intrigued, his eyebrows raised. “You want coffee?”

I suddenly felt extremely shy, my face felt hot and I wanted to smile to shake the nervousness. “Yeah…I really missed your espressos.” That definitely made him smile and blush harder.

He let out a breathy laugh, “I have a small machine at home. It feels wrong inviting you to my house so soon but I’d prefer if you weren’t in the rain, you’re not wearing closed shoes.” He pointed down at my shoes, he was right. “I could take you home and bring one back to you if that makes you more comfortable, I don’t want to seem creepy.”

He was the farthest thing from creepy and perhaps it because I had feelings for him. Sure it was dangerous to go off of that but there was a reason we met again, it wasn’t just coincidence. It was now or never. If I wanted to see how far this would take me, I had to be brave like I promised I would. “I don’t mind going to your house if you don’t mind.”

He seemed surprised by my answer but satisfied nonetheless. “I’ll go bring my car around, here take my jacket.”

Before I could deny his offer, he draped it over my shoulders and ran out to head toward his car. Would I sound crazy if I said I was falling for him more?

His place was gorgeous. Nothing fancy, but he kept it so clean that it looked expensive. I expected nothing less from him but seeing it with my own eyes was surely a sight to see.

“Please, come in and make yourself at home.”

I carefully walked over and sat on the small loveseat that gave me the perfect view of him in the kitchen. I was so attracted to watching him do such simple things and how much attention he paid to every detail. He was charming, tantalizing, arousing.

It wasn’t long before he left his place in the kitchen, carrying the perfect small cup. He placed it on the wooden coffee table and took a seat on the couch with me.

I thanked him before taking a sip. Perfect as always. Now I was curious what else he could get me addicted to.

“I hope it lived up to your expectations.” He asked when I placed the empty cup back down on the table.

“I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone as good as you Kyungsoo.” That sounded more like a confession but I’m sure he knew what I meant and even if he didn’t, I wouldn’t take back what I said.

We sat and talked for hours. He was good at making me laugh with his stories about work and his best friend Baekhyun. He asked me about my hometown, my favorite foods; any question he thought of. The rain had already stopped but I wasn’t ready to go home. I wanted to enjoy my time with him more even if we sat in silence.

“Sorry I kept you here so long, it’s already dark out. I can take you home now if you’d like.”

Sadly I’d have to go home at some point, but I wish I didn’t. “Thank you, I’ll go home and whip up some dinner.”

He gasped and his jaw dropped slightly. “Oh gosh I didn’t even ask if you were hungry that whole time, it’s been hours! I’m so so-“

I chuckled and brought a hand up to his cheek to caress it with my thumb, surprising the both of us. I quickly removed my hand from him with wide eyes; it was my turn to apologize. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

He wrapped a hand around my waist and leaned over to plant a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. So this is what they meant about the sparks you feel when you really like someone. It was quick but it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. He pulled back to watch my reaction and when I didn’t do anything, I could see he was ready to say sorry again. Luckily I stopped him in his tracks, leaning over to kiss him once more.

One hand on the small of my back and the other cupping my left cheek. He was a great kisser but to be honest even if he wasn’t, I’d still enjoy it. The way he smells, the gentle touches, it just felt like he’d been waiting to do this for a long time. When I threaded my fingers through his hair, he swiped a tongue over my bottom lip to deepen the kiss.

My day hadn’t gone as planned but I wasn’t complaining especially because I was tired of growing regretful over my previous actions; or lack thereof. He pulled away from the kiss, lips pink and slightly swollen.

“I love you. I know I haven’t known you for very long, but I know what I feel and I know how special you are to me. I was sad when you were gone and I don’t want to feel that again. I want to be with you even when you are away. I just want you.”

There goes the butterflies again. I’ve had boyfriends before but none of them made me feel the way Kyungsoo does. Everything about and with him felt different in a good way and that’s what I wanted in a relationship. He felt ready to do what would make me happy and I was more than ready to the same. I mirrored his confession in my own words, finally saying what I needed with confidence.

Fast forward six months and the relationship was still going strong, but no one ever thought otherwise. You were finally going to hang with Chanyeol and Baekhyun, your first outing with the both of them as a couple. Just a casual picnic to enjoy the warm weather and catch up.

“Are you ready love?” Kyungsoo came into the room to check on you. He loved watching you get dressed, you made everything look so pretty. It stirred up all the emotions inside of him, but one in particular won the battle. He walked up and hugged your waist. “You look gorgeous baby.”

You turned to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. “That makes two of us. Can you zip this up for me please?” You turn around once more, your back facing him. His hand ran down your spine slowly, goosebumps rising on the skin. His breathing picked up some and you could already read his mind.

“We’re going to be late Kyungsoo…” your sentence came out like a whisper.

“They’ll be fine, just lift your dress for me yeah?” He turned you around and kissed down your neck and the valley between your breasts. He walked you backwards to the bed, letting your back hit the mattress. “I won’t be able to hold out until we get back home.”

Before you could argue, he kissed down your stomach as he bunched the fabric of your dress around your waist. His hands spread your legs apart at the thighs, rubbing up the inner part at an achingly slow pace. You held your breath as his fingers lightly danced over your clothed pussy, a wet spot already forming on the lace fabric.

“So wet…I just wanna taste you a little before we go okay?” He looked up at you, sliding your panties to the side, working his fingers through your folds.

You nodded and he wasted no time diving into you. He lapped you up quickly, trying to satisfy you both as fast as he could. He had a tight grip on your thighs that draped over his shoulders. You were squirming with his tongue pressing roughly against your clit.

“K-kyungsoo, please…” your head fell back as you tried closing your legs but he wouldn’t allow it.

“I know baby, just a little more.” His voice muffled but it sent vibrations through your body.

You barely survived the few minutes he spent slurping on your juices just to spit on your pussy to make it wet again. You were definitely going to have to change these panties before you left. He stopped his abuse on your clit and slid your panties down and off your ankles. He unbuckled his jeans and let his dick pop free. He towered over you, rubbing his dick against your clit.

“Fuck, you feel so good already princess…” He looked at you, loving how your face contorted as he slowly pushed in.

“Fuck Kyungsoo please, I need you.”

You didn’t have to ask him twice, his hips snapping forward. He loved knowing he was the only one to make you a whimpering and moaning mess. The only one that could feel your walls contract around his dick. The only one whose name you screamed. You were his and his only and he knew you felt the same. The squelch and squeeze of your pussy brought him to his orgasm much faster than he’d have liked, but this was technically supposed to be a quickie.

“I’m gonna cum, s-shit…”

He pushed your legs to your chest to get a better angle. He leaned down to bring you in a hungry, sloppy kiss. The plushness of his lips was a complete contrast to the rough thrusts. It blended perfectly and pushed you to your orgasm. He moaned feeling your walls tighten and he couldn’t hold back his own release.

You both breathed heavily as you came down from your high. He kissed your forehead gently and got up to get redressed and clean you off. His phone rang in the pocket of his pants and he quickly answered it.

“Hey Baek, we’re leaving out now.” Kyungsoo looked over at your fucked out form and winked.

“Kyungsoo stop fucking and get your ass over here! And make sure you wash your hands!”

You chuckled seeing Kyungsoo’s face and jaw drop before hanging up and clearing his throat. “Come on handsome, we have to go before they get too hungry and start gnawing on each other.”

He laughed and pressed another kiss to your forehead, grabbing the keys off the desk and your hand to head out the door.

#exo kyungsoo #exo smut #exo #exo do #exo do kyungsoo #kyungsoo smut #kyungsoo x reader

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madaboutmunson · 1 year

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Ok because the other two little fics were so well liked my brain could stop thinking about it.

So we've got how the song in question was written, the song when Corroded Coffin make it big, so consider this one the last time that song is ever played live by Corroded Coffin.

It starts with a little shocker so I've hidden the story under a read more so people don't accidently read it, in case it upsets anyone, but trust me when I say it's not all doom and gloom 😉 I got you 💚

The day the news of music legend Eddie Munson passing breaks, it plunged the world into deep, dark despair. A shocking departure that stopped newsreaders in their tracks to announce it.

The bombshell news was plastered everywhere for weeks, billboards, posters, newspapers, magazines, murals, tv show opening monologues, and this thing slowly emerging, the internet, had its forums full of theories as to what had happened, as no announcement had come from the Corroded Coffin camp as yet.

There was no sign of illness or injury. No accident or crime details. He seemed to have just...died.

The outpourings of condolences from countless heavy metal icons, hundreds of celebrities, some of which you would never have even guessed, liked Corroded Coffin, millions of fans worldwide held candle-lit vigils and sang their songs sombrely acapella in meeting places all around the world.

A week later, the band finally released a written statement.

"It was during the hellish times of high school that Eddie found us, protected us, guided us and forged this band of brothers that would go on to conquer not just our fears but the entire world. Impossible dreams came true countless times over, but now we sit in a waking nightmare at the loss of our leader, so now our time must come to an end.

A band is a sum of its parts, and with any one of us gone, this is simply not Corroded Coffin anymore. So it is with the deepest sadness but no regrets we have to say goodnight to you one last time.

Thank you for sticking by us all these years.

Remember to look out for one another.

HFC 4 Eva

The Remains of Corroded Coffin"

With the statement is an announcement that there will be a tribute show organised by Corroded Coffin, but they declined to play all but one song, which a special guest on guitar.

A month later, the tribute show goes ahead, but no stadium can hold it due to demand, mainly because the band had to fulfil Eddie's final wishes.

One of which was causing the most problems, Eddie wanted every member of the Corroded Coffin fan club to get the first refusal on a space at the tribute show. So no matter where in the world they were from, they were invited and their travel expenses paid, or something set up so they could join the live feed.

Eddie had jokingly set up the fan club at a merch table in the early days. It got you a Corroded Coffin badge, a hand-painted d20, a poster, access to a monthly newsletter/comic and a hand-drawn membership card signed on the back by the band, all for the price of five dollars. As the band grew, the fan club pack stayed the same, except the merch was better quality, it had to be mass-produced, and the price was lowered to one dollar.

The band also often had membership cards on their person or gave them out for free to fans that wanted them through their music charity for kids living in low-income areas.

So as you can imagine, there were thousands of potential attendees, but if you didn't have the card, you weren't getting in, no matter how much money you had or how famous you were.

The crowd is a sea of Corroded Coffin fans of all ages and all walks of life.

The first people out on stage are Corroded Coffin.

All of them.

The three band members wheel out an enormous coffin encased in rusted metal sheets with haphazardly driven rivets to keep it together, standing up tall, onto a platform at the back of the stage. They do this in absolute silence. The crowd is so hushed that on the recording, you can hear the ting of someone dropping a can.

Then the chants start, "Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!" Hauntingly fierce like an army ready for battle, they know they can't win.

It spreads across the ocean of fans like a ripple of deafening voices.

Then the concert begins. Not only is the lineup littered with some of the most famous musical artists in the world, but also many of Eddie's favourite bands, and to introduce each of them is a celebrity pairing.

Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley. Prize-winning journalist and film director, respectively.

Tech Whiz Kids Dustin Henderson and Erica Sinclair.

Internet entrepreneur duo Jargyle.

Jim Hopper and Joyce Byers. Heads of a missing children's charity.

Award-winning scientists Mike and Will Byler.

Novelist Lucas Sinclair and Skateboarding legend Mad Max.

Then lastly, a fan favourite, Eddie's Uncle Wayne. He had made a cameo appearance in every video they had ever made, was on every concert video and was always thanked in the album notes.

"It is my greatest honour that the boys chose me to introduce the last performance of the evening. I know this song was his favourite, and many of yours also. So without further ado...Sadly, for the final time, Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Corroded Coffin," he shouts finally over the crowd's roar as flames shoot out of the sides of the coffin on stage, and the three remaining members walk out.

They say nothing and launch into the heaviest song Corroded Coffin ever wrote.

A lead guitar joins in but with no guitarist to be seen.

As the song draws to a close, a man walks out in a denim battle vest a little too snug for him, his hair voluminous but dishevelled. He's holding the prop guitar.

He swings it around, smashing it into the floor behind him, and with an almighty swing back in front of him, the guitar must know this is its last show because the body splits in two. The man rips the neck of the guitar out of the body and holds it above his head. The fake blood spills out of his mouth, and the tears flood down his face as he punches the air in time with the Eddie chants before he blows a kiss at the crowd and then one at the coffin.

There is a curtain call for all involved as pyros and flames fill the air around the stage until the last fan leaves the area. Then the curtain finally drops.

Everyone heads backstage or to the trailers behind it for food and drinks.

All except one person. Steve Harrington.

He looks around to ensure the coast is clear, approaches the giant coffin structure, and puts his hand on it, still warm from the flames.

"I never did find the right time to tell you this, and it looks like I'm too late." The tears prick his eyes again, and the first one that escapes down his cheek causes the rest to follow in droves.

His sobs are so loud he covers his mouth to quiet them for fear of anyone overhearing, "I love you, Eddie. I just didn't know how to say it, I-I d-didn't know if you felt the same, so I'd act like I didn't care and hoped you'd make the first move, but you didn't. And then you got famous, and were gone. I saw you a handful of times, and every time I wanted to tell you, something got in the way, or I chickened out, you know, because...well, because maybe you'd reject me and hate me or worse, you'd want what I did, and the press would eat you for breakfast. It would have ruined everything you built, and I couldn't handle that."

He runs his hands through his hair, bows his head, and presses his forehead against the warm sheet metal. "I couldn't take that chance because I loved you so much, so very very much, Eddie." He plants a kiss on his fingertips and presses it against the name plaque on the coffin. He lets out a final guttural sob. "See you on the other side, Munson", he manages finally and walks away.

He takes a last look back over his shoulder as he wipes the tears from his eyes, and Steve swears he sees the thing move.

He shakes his head and takes a few more steps, he can hear Eddie cursing under his breath in his mind, and it makes him smile.

But then Steve freezes to the spot because there is a loud clang behind him. He doesn't want to turn around and fix Eddie's coffin, but who else is going to do it, right?

"Well, that was suffocating!" Eddies voice rings in Steve's head.

Steve steels himself and prepares to see the worst as he turns back towards the coffin, only to find the front of it completely off its hinges, and standing draped in his guitar, with crumbs in his hair and hat with two beer cans in with straws, is one, very alive Eddie Munson.

Steve cannot move. He mutters, "Oh god, I've finally lost it."

Eddie looks at Steve with a perplexed look on his face, "Ah, yeah, you have" he puts his hands on his hips, "Keeping a secret like that from me for like a decade. First of all, how fucking dare you wait until I end everything to tell me, and secondly, get over here, you big stud, and give me some well overdue sugar."

"What...the...fuck..." Steve fearfully whispers to himself, "I'm actually insane."

"Eddie!!" Dustin's excited voice rings out behind Steve as he charges forward, embracing him.

"Hey, watch my guitar, you little shrimp!" Eddie giggles and Ruffles Dustin's hair.

"Wait a second now," Steve says, finger pointed out in front of him, slowly stepping forward, "You can see him?"

Now it's Dustin's turn to look confused at Steve. He scoffs out a laugh, "Well, of course, I can! Are you feeling ok, Steve?"

"But...but...but he died...again...is he like... immortal, or something. Like a-a vamp.. vampire?" Steve tries gingerly, moving closer, one hand still stretched out in front of him like he's trying to ward off something evil.

Dustin and Eddie look at one another in confusion and start laughing.

"Steve, have you sampled some of the special backstage treats?" Eddie asks and turns back to Dustin, "I mean, that might explain why he also just confessed he's had a massive boner about me for over a decade!"

"Really?" Dustin says curiously, and Eddie nods as he takes off his guitar. "Wow."

Then the others start piling onto the stage, all of Eddie's nearest and dearest, and all of them are smiling and laughing and joking, except for Steve, who is watching this happen around him until he erupts.

"How can you all be so god damn normal about this??!!!!! He's just come back from the dead. Not like last time when he passed out. He's been dead for like a fucking month, and your all just-just fucking OK WITH THAT??!!" Steve is yelling at the top of his lungs, hands gesticulating wildly at them all, still keeping his distance, and the group falls silent.

"Oh, no, honey," Joyce says soothingly, walking towards Steve. "It's ok, it must be really scary to see this kind of thing, but you remember, right? It's all just for show." She turns and whispers to Hopper, "I knew all those bumps to the head needed looking at."

"FOR SHOW?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR SHOW?! IT WAS EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE" Steve starts counting on his fingers, "It-it was on the news, and-and in all the papers, and-and the fans did all those vigils" He points accusingly at the band, "You were at least three of those!!"

Robin's eyes go wide "Steve, it's me, Robin. Hi!" She approaches him slowly, "I'm real. We're all real here. Everything is ok" Once Robin is within arms distance of Steve, he pokes at her and squeezes her arm to make sure she is, in fact, real, "OW!! Jesus!!!"

She bats Steve's hands away, "Ok, enough. Listen, did you open the fan club mail this month?"

"The fan cl-? What the hell are you talking about?? Is this a nightmare? Am I dead??!! Is this Hell??!!!" Steve shouts into the air.

"In this month's fanzine, it explained everything. The band wanted to stop and spend time with their families and start new projects, but the press was getting to a fever pitch with them. Gareth had his bins rifled through. Jeff couldn't even take his kid out for his birthday without getting hounded. So Eddie came up with this plan. That way, no one gets blamed for breaking up the band. It just is no more." Robin explains compassionately to Steve.

"So the whole crowd, all of you and the bands, they all knew it was fake?" Steve asks quietly whilst everyone is still staring at him and Robin.

Robin nods but then adds, "Well, not the other bands. We couldn't risk it, but we and the fans are loyal enough to keep a secret. Plus, if anyone even tries to say they've seen him, they'll be labelled like those Bigfoot-spotting people."

Steve shakes his head, "But I'm not a member of the fan club?!"

"The absolute audacity!!! What, you fucking love me, but you're not a member of my band's fan club? What kind of half-assed groupie are you?" Eddie shouts, astounded and a little insulted at Steve.

Jeff turns to Eddie, "You knew he wasn't, man. You made him that special membership card at the hideout for valentine's day, but you never gave it to him, remember?"

"Shut up!" Eddie says through gritted teeth at Jeff.

Steve stands more confidently, his hands on his hips, "Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, that's right", Gareth laughs, "And then when we were talking about this, you said you'd call him and tell him yourself, Eddie, remember?"

Eddie bites his bottom lip and tries to look as innocent as he can from under his hair, smirking over at Steve, "Did I say that? Really? Funny thing that... I don't remember"

Steve's eyes go wide, "Why, you little shit!!" Steve runs and lunges for Eddie. Eddie is laughing and yelling as he's being chased around the stage by Steve, who eventually captures him in a bear hug when he runs the wrong way around the drum kit.

"urgh...god...let me..." Eddie struggles angrily and tries to wriggle free as Steve squeezes him.

"Oh-hoh no, you are going nowhere, you little prick!" Steve says, squeezing him tighter, making Eddie's face screw up, "What you did, was so not cool!"

"I...only...did...it...cus..." Eddie tries to talk, but it is difficult. He can hardly breathe.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuses. You wanted to make me look like an idiot!" Steve says with an unimpressed tone.

Eddie's face is turning pink as he frantically shakes his head in a no.

"Oh, you didn't? Then why?" Steve says, loosening his grip enough for Eddie to take a breath.

Eddie's body sags a little as he takes a deep breath, "Because... I wanted to see if you'd be sad if I died." Eddie says quickly, "I mean, I didn't expect you to agree to headline and the whole speech, you know?" Eddie says, trying to hold back an adoring smile.

Steve squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head in disbelief, "You made me go through a month of grief to see if I would be sad if you died?"

"Well...it was supposed to be just a day, but then I got genuinely distracted by everything, and then it was two weeks later, and then I thought I could surprise you by jumping out of the coffin, and you'd be overjoyed and I'd say something romantic to maybe win you over, like..." Eddie looks everywhere but at Steve as he details everything.

"Like what? What could you possibly say to make up for that, you complete shithead!" Steve says with an angry squeeze, making Eddie wince and groan.

"That I fought an army of angels and the hordes of hell for one kiss from your sinfully perfect heavenly lips because you're my muse, my love." Eddie manages to get the words out with a struggle.

"What?" Steve says, lessening his grip.

"The songs I write, the ones with my name next to them on the albums, they're all about you," Eddie says as he catches his breath.

"What?" Steve says again, wholly bewildered and fully releases Eddie.

"Our first number one, the one that got a Grammy, and was used in a bunch of movies. That's about you. The um, slow one with the choir on the unplugged album, that's about you. The one we close the shows with, the one with no words, that's about you too. And loads more," Eddie says, adjusting his clothes, looking back up at a dumbfounded Steve, "What? You had no idea? You don't remember? in the garage? You corrected the spelling of sleeve, but it was supposed to be Steve. I just forgot to cross the t" Eddie looks between Steve's eyes for a glimmer of comprehension.

"Ohhh", Steve says finally and points at himself and smiles.

Eddie smiles back at this lovable weirdo and nods.

Steve claps his hands together and looks pleased as punch, turning to the others still pointing at himself with a look of happy surprise.

Everyone nods at him except for Mike, who throws his hands up, "Are you kidding me? The song we danced to at our wedding was about Steve??? Oh my god!" Mike has to be consoled by Will and Nancy.

Steve eventually turns back to Eddie with a massive smile on his face.

Eddie plays with his hair and looks coyly up at Steve swaying from left to right, "So I dunno, do you maybe wanna come live on a secret island with me for a few years until people forget about me, maybe? I mean, I'll have to get my hair buzzed first, and um, lose the whole rockstar get up" Eddie looks up hopefully and gives a cute little shrug.

Steve folds his arms and taps his lips thoughtfully, "Hmmm."

"OH, MY GOD! Could you grown-ass idiots just kiss already? I could be solving the mysteries of the goddamn world, ok? But instead, I'm stuck here waiting for a long-haired freak and his little ex-sailor boy bride to figure out what everyone else knew years ago!!" Erica shouts, exasperated.

"Apart from Mike", Dustin whispers.

"Yeah, except Mike, who is also on team dumbass!" Erica adds.

"Hey!!" Mike says, annoyed, and is immediately swamped by Will, Joyce and Nancy as Hopper pats Erica on the shoulder with a smile.

"Get offa me, sasquatch!" She says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you heard the lady," Steve says with a smile walking with an over-the-top swagger towards Eddie.

Eddie grins mischievously, jumps up to grip onto Steve like a koala on a eucalyptus tree, and kisses him, once on the lips, with an audible mwah sound.

Steve looks at him with a laugh, "I hope you've got more where that came from because you've got a lot to make up for, Eddie Munson."

AO3 Link

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tulipanthousa · 3 months

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tell us about the unwritten au 👀

okay, full disclosure, this will never be written. i have no intention of ever doing so. if someone else is willing to take a crack at it be my guest but this would be too much for me to handle

so, here it is

Content Warnings: angst, RAPE (<- read this. the dove is dead. do not pass go do not collect $200. youve been warned) both directly and via proxy, and other kinds of sexual coercion

LAOFT RELAMP but at what cost

In main story laoft, durant does not see roman and remy's dalliances as important or a threat to him/his control over roman.

in this story. he does

in an agonizing display of cruelty, he kidnaps remy and presents him to night roman as a gift.

its a terrible position - roman cant reject the gift and risk durants anger, which will end in disaster for both him and remy... but niether can he accept it and walk back into his day life with the knowledge that remy will remain here, trapped, alone with durant, and impossibly far away from anything roman can do to protect him

Roman takes the only path he can find - feign gratefulness so deep that he no longer had need of his day left, and giving it up. because at least if theyre both trapped remy's not alone.

Remy and Roman disappear the same night, stolen from their beds without a sound or a trace left behind.

In wickhills, Logan is incandescent with fury and patton cries so miserably the woods and hills around his house are bone-dead silent. not even the birds want to sing in his presence.

May sits alone in her house, the door locked, refusing to answer for anyone.

The Adams' put up posters across all of southeast ohio knowing nobody is going to call

And emile watches them all and churns with guilt because he didnt know remy, not really, so why does he think he has a right to be this sad?

Back in faerieland, things escalate in a bad way very quickly. Durant coerces Roman and Remy into increasingly intense sexual scenarios for his entertainment.

in the midst of this, having only one other person you can rely on or trust can, coupled with the rapid increase in intimacy, cross the wires a bit, and wwhoops, Remy and roman are in love now

Remy: or whatever passes for love in this shitshow Roman: you dont get to tell me i dont really love you Remy, crying: ok

and tbh, all of this is more of just context for what im ACTUALLY interested which is

they get out. now what?

Because in the meantime, Emile has reached out to patton, we still have LAMP and remile, and now we have pair-of-cats-that-cant-be-separated creativisleep

Logan: you thought canon logan had anger issues? ha. ha i say. this logan would kill a man sooner than let them make roman or remy even slightly uncomfortable. he'll snarled at his own mother if she gets too close. he'll snarl at thomas, though he'll feel bad about both. this is actually! not great! because logan tried to guard from the outside looks a lot like Guards Keeping Us Inside to remy and roman, so they have to figure out how to navigate logans nuclear reactor protectiveness vs it wigging roman and remy out.

Virgil: Virgil waking up is the catalyst for them getting free, and in the midst of his horror falls in QP love at first sight with remy, who was so brave and so strong and kept roman safe when virgil couldnt.

Remy: i dont know if 'safe' is even slihtly accurate Virgil: the safety of his heart and mind are of equal importance to me as his body. you have cherished both, and you can have anything you ask for as long as i live Remy: [gay fluster noises]

Patton keeps determinedly dragging emile to mays house (where they are holed up for close access to dizzy and jax) even though Emile feels like he's intruding

Patton, constantly on the verge of tears: I almost lost Roman and i've decided im in love with all of you and i CATEGORICALLY refuse to lose anyone else Emile: um Patton: RE. FUSE.

so pattons HOPE is that they all wind up in a big polycule pile, and its doesnt... not do that, but its not quite as clearcut as all that.

Theres stumbling blocks at the beginning withboth remy and roman wavering on whether or not their romantic feelings are genuine, and subsequently wondering if the fact that theeyre still in love with Emile and LAM respectively means that they arent.

this would go through some oscillations of both of them trying to deny those feelings to "prove" their love for each other, vs trying to push the other away so they can go be with p[eople they "really love"

do! not! separate them!

in my head this ends with romantic LAMP, Romantic Remile, Romantic Patmile, and QPR losleep and sleepxiety - everybody else is friends and cuddle buddies

Remy is actually super comforted by the fact that Patton is in love with him/attracted to him but never asks for more than friendship because he knows remy isnt. Metamour besties.

Dizzy suffers a lot from this ordeal (she hid from durant and subsequently roman, knowing if he found her as romans familiar it would be catastrophic) so their bond is.... stretched, lets say. overtaxed. she's a little sicklier. a little smaller, a little more timid. hides in remy or virgils jackets frequently

All of which is to say that this is a fraught extended metaphor that sometimes trauma changes you, and it changes your relationships, and it changes the way you feel attraction, and all of that is okay. it doesnt make those feelings or relationships less real or loving or valid.

anyway this is my monster. im not going to write it (please dont ask) but some people have expressed that they were glad i still shared it, so have some bite sized angst

#ask #Anonymous #laoft ask #rape cw

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sunshinestrand · 13 days

Text

Happy 'omg, it's Wednesday and I don't have anything to share so we panic write so we have something to share but it turns out this is the only way we can get any writing done' day!! Thank you to the lovely @welcometololaland and @iboatedhere for the tags <3

Their first days in each other’s company is spent solely discovering just how many men share the name addressed in the letters and Alex writing a list while Henry marks down the areas in which they live on a map. Henry’s living room turns into a mess of papers, mugs of tea and coffee for Alex and when Henry insists that Alex stay instead of attempting to find a hotel; Henry pulls down blankets from one of his closets and those find their way around the room as well.

Henry hadn’t been far off in his estimate, it turns out there are seventy four of them, all within such a range of one another that somehow it seems to make the search that much more impossible.

“This is beginning to feel a lot like finding a needle in a haystack,” Alex says from where he’s sitting on the floor in a position that Henry is certain cannot be comfortable. It’s a statement that voices Henry’s exact thoughts. He’s thankful Alex had said it because Henry had found himself unable to, not wanting at all to break the hope Alex has.

Henry raises his mug of tea in an attempt to hide his smile. “Yes, well, if only someone had warned you about that from the start.”

It’s meant to be light-hearted, but Alex’s shoulders seem to sag just slightly, and when he chuckles, it seems sad. “This has to be a new record for me, knowing someone for ninety-two hours and already getting an I told you so.”

Ninety-two hours of knowing him and Henry has already made the decision that Alex, being any form of upset, will simply not do.

Henry stands from the couch where he had collapsed earlier that afternoon and walks across the room to where Alex is, sitting down cross-legged on the floor next to him. He places the map down onto the ground and points to one of the marks he had made.

“We should begin here,” Henry tells him. “It’ll be easiest. That way, we can then curve back around and—” He glances up to find Alex staring at him, confusion in his eyes. “—what?”

“I just—” Alex starts and then stops, his brows furrowing. “You still want to go? Even if it may be nearly impossible? I mean, maybe it was a stupid idea.”

Henry smiles reassuringly. “Nearly but not entirely,” He says, mirroring Alex’s words from when they had first met. This earns him a grin from Alex. He wants to find every way in the world to bring Alex joy. Henry doesn’t exactly know when it happened, but he figures he would go anywhere with Alex no matter the possibility of the outcome. “This story deserves to have its ending. You wanting that for the people you love is not stupid.”

Alex stares at him, and Henry has to resist the urge to react under the attention of the breathtaking gaze. It’s almost too much, and he has to pull his own gaze to where the map lays on the floor.

“Well, who can argue with that reasoning?” Alex asks softly, and when Henry glances up to him once again, he’s smiling softly. Henry returns it, their eyes locked for a brief moment that makes something deep within Henry’s stomach turn. Suddenly, Alex clears his throat and reaches for his mug of coffee, nearly spilling it on himself. “What were you saying?”

Alex turns his attention to the map near Henry’s folded legs, but for a beat, Henry’s eyes remain on Alex.

Ninety-two hours of knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz and Henry figures he’ll never be the same.

tagging @avacoleman and an open tag to whoever would like to participate! Please tag me <3

#rwrb #firstprince #wip wednesday #userkimmy #userthai #tusersonia #paige writes

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cinnamon-galaxies · 4 months

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The Heart Wants What It Wants (song-fic)

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Pairings: Obi-Wan x gn!reader

Warnings/Tags: gender-neutral reader, song-fic, sad (but no angst), bitter-sweet ending, mentions of break-up (the whole story's about break-up tbh)

Summary: Months have passed since you and Obi-Wan broke up, but you still suffer from a broken heart. As you spend the evening at your favorite cantina, you finally manage to get on stage and sing that song that's been floating around in your head for weeks. But you don't expect to meet the Jedi you still love with all your heart.

Song: 'The Heart Wants What It Wants' by Selena Gomez

youtube

Words: 3.3k

A/n: This one broke my heart during the writing process.

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The air inside the cantina pressed down on you, mirroring the heavy feeling inside your chest. It's been months since the breakup happened and you and Obi-Wan parted ways. But it felt as if it wasn't even a week ago he left you alone crying on the floor in distress. You've tried to do what people recommended to get over the breakup. You tried to focus on yourself and your well-being, tried to distract yourself with the company of other people or had some quality time just for yourself. But since Obi-Wan was gone your mission was gone as well. You both had been assigned to uncover a deeply rooted conspiracy about a secret separatists base on an Outer Rim planet. And it has been an experience that would affect your whole life in the most unexpected ways possible. You didn't just meet an old friend again, after years, but created a bond with him that slowly put down the roots for something that grew to be so much more than just friendship. Your relationship with Obi-Wan has been defined by a trust that would make you both put the fate of your lives into each other's hands. It has been defined by harmony and a very special type of banter you've never experienced with someone else ever before. You both had become lovers and you've sworn an unbreakable commitment to each other. And that's exactly when the Jedi order started to unfold its influence on you. While the Clone Wars had evolved into a complex tapestry of political intrigue, moral ambiguity, and personal sacrifice, the Jedi order had started to test your limits and in the end suspected something between you and the Jedi master. The order has always had its feet standing between you and Obi-Wan, like an unbreakable monument of a greater power that was impossible to avoid. The whole time you've been aware of the fact that there was no such future for your love as you can find on the ordinary streets of Coruscant. And that's when you both had decided to part ways.

You took a deep sigh and tried to turn your attention to the small stage in the back of the room where a young togruta performed a song. She had a beautiful voice and her facial expression revealed her full commitment to the meaning of her song. She stood on stage as if she was a professional actor but she was in fact just an ordinary woman who took the opportunity to show off her talent at The Va'Belær's weekly Open Night. This was an event in your favourite local cantina where anyone could take the opportunity to go on stage and perform anything. It really didn't matter what it was. You could show off a special talent, tell a story or some funny jokes... Or you could just...sing a song. You've never missed out to attend the event, watching the locals perform and get at least a little bit of distraction for an evening. You even considered to participate as well but haven't quite felt the last spark that was missing to finally find the strength to stand up.

But tonight would be different, you thought as you listened to the beautiful voice of the togruta echoing from the high brick walls. Tonight you would finally go on stage and sing the song that's been haunting your mind for weeks.

As the last verses had left the togrutas lips, cheerful applause flooded the cantina and you used the moment to push your chair away and stand up. You smiled at the togruta as you both exchanged places and you pulled a tiny piece of paper with the song name written on it out of you pocket and handed it to one of the staff members. As you stepped on the creeking piles of the stage everything felt fine until your gaze wandered around the large room. Suddenly an unpleasant feeling of nervosity rushed through your veins as you met the gaze of the curious audience. Your legs started to shake, fortunately hidden under your thick garments, but empowered by the sudden fear of failure that lured somewhere deep in your mind—not consciously awake but still there making you regret your decision for a brief moment. But that's not what you've wanted. And there was nothing to be ashamed of as you knew yourself that you had a great singing voice. It was only a matter of the fact that noone ever heard it before. Not even Obi-Wan.

Let's change that, you thought. You rose your hand to give the staff a signal and the music started to play. You took a deep breath, eyeing the microphone in front of you, and started singing: "You got me sippin' on something. I can't compare to nothing I've ever known. I'm hoping that after this fever I'll survive..." Your gaze wandered around the audience again, analyzing their reactions to your performance. Excited faces met your gaze and people ended their conversations to fully give you their attention. This made your nervosity and fears evaporate and you dared to touch the microphone, pulling it further to you as if it was the person your song was about. Your voice slowly became louder and grew more powerful with each verse that left your lips. "I know I'm acting a bit crazy. Strung out, a little bit hazy. Hand over heart I'm praying that I'm gonna make it out alive."

Obi-Wan had enough of his thoughts constantly revolving around his mission. He was tired but at the same time too overstimulated to go to sleep, so he decided to head to The Va'Belær, a cantina recommended to him by the locals. Just for one night he wanted to be alone from Anakin and enjoy a drink, and—hopefully—good music.

The windy air felt cold on his skin and he pulled his cloak tighter as he walked down the dimly-lit streets. Speeders drove past him making whirring noises but besides that and a few chatting passengers the city was quiet.

What a calming atmosphere, he thought. So much more relaxing than the nerve-wrecking turmoil on Coruscant, and the peaceful surroundings on this small Outer Rim planet built a high contrast to the war and destruction.

Obi-Wan laid his eyes on a limestone structure at a street crossing not far away. A glowing sign with vertical letters saying 'The Va'Belær's Cantina' marked his destination and the almost quiet atmosphere of the city allowed the jedi to notice the low rhythm of a slow song. With every step he got further to the cantina the music and it's rhythm became louder, but was still muted enough that the song wasn't recognizable. As his hands slowly pushed the door open a hauntingly beautiful voice enchanted his ears, singing a song about a love that's gone and left a broken heart longing for the one who had once made it whole. It was filled with a bunch of emotions that were similar to those circling in his mind for months now—suppressed by the importance of his mission, but still present enough that every quiet minute felt as heavy as if a Bantha stood on his chest.

He took a deep breath and hesitated. Was this really a good idea to enter the cantina when the first song that entered his ears happened to remind him of the worst heartbreak he's ever had to go through? He took a moment for himself and listened to the siren-like voice putting as much love, pain and longing into their song as possible.

"The bed's getting cold and you're not here. The future that we hold is so unclear. But I'm not alive until you call. And I'll bet the odds against it all. Save your advice 'cause I won't hear. You might be right, but I don't care. There's a million reasons why I should give you up. But the heart wants what it wants. The heart wants what it wants," you sang, your eyes were weary of those heavy emotions that pressed down on you. It was such a relief to eventually get rid of the painful clod in your chest that you never talked about with anyone. To let all of your emotions float into your song, reach the public and echo into the farest parts of the universe. The force that you so significantly tried to hide washed off in waves, filled the room and flattered the audience with an affecting warmth—keeping them fully focused on your performance as you dared to push more and more emotions into your voice with every verse that left your lips: "You got me scattered in pieces, shining like stars and screaming, lighting me up like Venus. But then you disappear and make me wait. And every second's like torture, heroin drip, no more so finding a way to let go. Baby, baby, no, I can't escape."

A sudden warmth, familiar but at the same time strange to him, reached the unraveling storm in Obi-Wan's chest and calmed him down instantly. He recognized it as the force that hit him with a flattering touch and reached out to him as if it was about to tell him a secret. There was another force-sensitive individual in this cantina—and it was not his former Padawan Anakin.

With another deep breath Obi-Wan eventually pushed the whole door open and stepped fully inside the warm hall. His gaze wandered around the guests who mostly focused their attention on the performance while he searched for a free table. One was left, right in the middle of the audience. To ensure his view at the stage he looked up to the singer and a shockwave rushed through his body. He instantly held his breath as his heart skipped a beat when his gaze fell on a face that once had been the most familiar to him. Y/N.

As you sung the next pre-chorus you saw the door open in the corner of your eye. A familiar presence stepped into the cantina and you knew exactly who you were about to encounter. An undefined shivery feeling ran through your veins and you turned your gaze towards the new guest, meeting the pale face of Obi-Wan who didn't put much effort into hiding his heavy surprise by your presence.

Stop the song, a voice that resembled your own whispered in your head. You were about to lose focus and out if a sudden it got hard to follow the song, it's rhythm and the lyrics. Without an interruption you tried to use the force to calm yourself and as a rush of comfortable warmth washed over you you found the strength to put even more power and emotion into your voice. As if you were a professional actress in the theatre you suddenly found yourself entangled in your role and let your eyes wander over the jedi's presence. His robes were hidden underneath a thick brown cloak. The hood rested behind his neck so his whole face was uncovered. He looked the same like always, almost as if nothing bad has ever happened between you and him. But that was only the first glance that belied normality. While you studied his face you recognized the subtle hints of a shadow that laid on his soul. His blue eyes were surrounded by rather dark circles and also his cheeks gave him a slightly sick appearance. He still struggled with your breakup and within a part of you you felt happiness arise while the other part increased its ache. You both could've had everything. You could've been perfect. If not the code stood between you, monitoring you with a suspicious glance. If it was just that you both could be free to love each other the way you've ever wanted...

Captured by Obi-Wan's blue eyes you sag the bridge: "This is a modern fairy tale. No happy endings, no wind in our sails. But I can't imagine a life without breathless moments breaking me down, down, down, down." You slowly lowered the volume of your voice and decreased its power until it sounded dramatically weak, influenced by your broken heart. Your eyes were locked with Obi-Wan's who still hasn't moved the tiniest bit. With a breaking sound in your voice you sung the last chorus: "The bed's getting cold and you're not here. The future that we hold is so unclear. But I'm not alive until you call. And I'll bet the odds against it all. Save your advice 'cause I won't hear. You might be right, but I don't care. There's a million reasons why I should give you up. But the heart wants what it wants."

Your voice became even weaker until almost a whisper was left and you felt tears pouring into your eyes. You used the force to soothe yourself, calm yourself down and lock the tears back to where they belong. Thousands of memories flooded your mind. Slow and passionate kisses followed by raging desire as you began to undress each other. The way he had looked at you, his blue eyes fixated on yours. The small and inconvenient touches when you were out in public that calmed you down instantly. And the hundreds of spoken promises which all became insignificant within an hour and turned into an echo of the unconditional love you both had once shared with each other.

"The heart wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants, baby... It wants what it wants, baby... It wants what it wants... It wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants, baby... It wants what it wants."

The melody faded away as the song ended and soon got replaced by roaring applause.

You took your eyes off of Obi-Wan as you lifted yourself from the dirty piles and bowed to the audence. The song that felt like relief in the first few verses had soon turned into an unbearable ache in your chest and thus the first thing you did after you stepped down from the stage was heading to the bar.

"Please give me your heaviest shot," you ordered from the bartender. A slight understanding grin sneaked onto his face and he nodded before turning around. With routined movements he mixed a few drinks into a cup and placed it in front of you.

"Thank you," you said and grabbed the cup when a shadowy silhouette moved in the corner of you eye and sat down right next to you.

"I never knew you have such a beautiful singing voice," a familiar voice said and and you placed the drink back on the counter without taking a sip.

"Thank you," you replied cold, keeping your gaze focused straight on the cup. You didn't really understand the feeling inside your chest as it was a mixture of distressed pain and a sudden excitement that both got engaged in a fight that couldn't end well... Hearing his voice after that long time was weird but at the same time comforting. As if a silent wish came true. But instead you've wished to never encounter with him again—or at least that's what you made yourself believe. In the end it made you happy to hear his voice again. To see him again. If the happiness hadn't been suppressed by that undescribable heart-wrenching pain deep inside your guts, clenching them together as much as possible.

"You probably didn't enter this cantina to chat with me. So what do you want here?", you asked him and eventually took a deep sip of your drink. The liquid burned on your tongue as it ran down to your stomach, distracting you from the emotional roller coaster for a brief moment. That drink was indeed strong.

"I aimed to distract myself from my mission for an evening," Obi-Wan explained offhand and you nodded.

"The same mission about the rumoured separatists base?" you asked, still not even slightly looking at him. It was too painful to see his presence, his beautiful face and the always so cocky smile on his lips.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes." You heard him exhale loudly as if he was unsure how to continue. "It just turned into a neverending odyssey, both confusing and nerve-wrecking at the same time."

"A Jedi openly talking about wrecked nerves is new to me," you pointed out with a sarcastic undertone. Actually, you didn't want to talk to him. But on the inside you didn't want to stop either.

"Don't act as if this surprises you. You are the epitome of wrecked nerves."

"But at least I'm no a Jedi." You once had been part of the order but that was many years ago. You were still a padawan when you parted ways with the Jedi and their awful principles that took you hostage. And it's been just a few years since you've met Obi-Wan again...

Silence fell over you and you both found yourself lost in memories of a time when everything seemed to be petfect. When you were together and at least could pretend to live in an ideal world. Obi-Wan as a Jedi knight, a leading general and the great negotiator, and you, a mercenary grey Jedi with a penchant to bounty hunter businesses. So weird but at the same time efficient combination of professions that had worked out a little too well.

Obi-Wan's voice cut through the melancholy air. "Y/N."

You turned slowly, your eyes finally meeting his. "Yes?" You asked with a voice much weaker than expected. The distance between you seemed both vast and infinitesimal. The unspoken words hung in the air, a palpable tension that begged to be addressed and you felt a tingling feeling creep into your stomach. The urge to just kiss him was unbearable.

Obi-Wan, his gaze unwavering, spoke: "Your song... You still love me, don't you?"

You held your breath, tears crawling up your eyes but you managed to hold them back. "Yes," you replied with a stomp nod and your throat tightened so much it began to hurt. "I still love you, Obi-Wan. And I always will."

You saw him struggle with your words. The muscles in his jaws tightened visibly as he seemed to be lost in thoughts.

"We chose our paths, Obi-Wan. The Force had different plans for us", you continued to break the silence.

Obi-Wan locked his eyes with yours. You both studied each other's faces when, suddenly, he reached out, his hand hesitating before finding yours on the bar. "Sometimes the Force tests us, challenges us to find a balance between duty and the heart. The Jedi who created the code must have forgotten the suffering that comes from denying affection. I've felt its tug, Y/N, and I can't deny how much I miss you."

You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions. "What do you want from me Obi-Wan?" you asked with a cracked voice. You were about to lose control over the force that restrained the dashing flood built up within you, rough and reckless, about to break through.

Obi-Wan let out a deep sigh, a watery expression hidden in his eyes, then took his hand off yours. "I love you, Y/N. More than anything. No matter what the code, the Jedi, demand: the heart wants what it wants. And I can't bear making the same mistake I did when I was young. Meet me at those coordinates in three rotations." He pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled a series of numbers on it before handing it to you. His blue eyes locked with yours and you could see an emotion within them that you thought to never see again. Then he stood up from his seat and left the cantina, leaving you alone with a undefinable, burning chaos in your chest.

Your gaze fell on the paper in your hand. Meet me at those coordinates in three rotations, you repeated his words in your head. I will, Obi-Wan. I will...

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dreamlessinparis · 1 year

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The Heart is a Deep Ocean - Last Part

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: The aftermath of the sinking

Warnings for this chapter: Angst, 18+, tender Bucky, fear, catastrophe, flashbacks (in italics), fluff, pain, sadness, happiness, slight open ending, tying up loose ends

A/N: Beta'd by my dear friend @sparkledfirecracker, thank you my love 😘 I can't believe its over, but I'm very proud of myself for actually completing it. I hope you all like it. There is a flash-forward in this chapter. All mistakes are my own ❤️

Please do not repost, translate or copy my work. Reblogs, likes, and comments are appreciated! 😊

Divider credit to the lovely @firefly-graphics

80 years later

Your hands shook as you flipped to the next page of the scrapbook in your hand, tracing over a photo of Bucky all dressed up. Seeing him like that brought tears to your eyes, blurring the vision of your grandchildren sitting before you. Your daughter stood up from the couch and came to sit next to you, hugging you into her side.

“You must have been so scared, Mom,” Grant, your firstborn, said from the armchair he was sitting in, his youngest daughter perched on his lap. You nodded, through the tears.

“It was terrifying,” you responded, falling back into the story.

There were so few survivors around you and that tugged at your already broken heart. With a blanket atop Bucky’s jacket, you sat watching families reconnect, while others sat distraught at their losses. Some were in shellshock, unable to collect themselves, just staring off into the distance.

The cold air bit at your face, tears freezing halfway down. Even though you couldn’t put thoughts together, you couldn’t stop crying. You never knew if you’d stop. Everything you owned, including your heart, was on that ship and you had nothing. Going back to your family was not an option you wanted, especially because you knew they’d want you to marry. And the idea of loving anyone else was impossible to fathom.

Bucky wanted you to survive, and you had to live, finding that will was going to take time. You could do it, even if it seemed hard now, but you could. You owed him that much, to keep his memory alive.

As you were thinking about what your next steps would be, someone sat beside you. Closer than a stranger should. There wasn’t much energy left in you to scoot away, the plunge into the icy water was draining but you still turned your head to tell the man to back off.

But the words got stuck in your throat.

“Told you I’d find you again, Angel,” Bucky said, smirking playfully down at you. His hair was slicked back from the water, and he had two blankets draped over his shoulders. Yet he looked like he had just come from a photoshoot. Handsome as ever. So handsome and so not real.

He couldn’t be. You were dreaming, you had to be. Your mind was too far gone, you were hallucinating. There was a yearning to reach out and touch him, your fingers fidgeting in your lap but you were scared. If you touched him, he might disappear. That’s how mirages worked, right?

You shook your head, “you can’t be real. I’m dreaming. Fuck, I’ve lost it.”

He chuckled, letting you ramble on with your debate on whether or not he was real.

Before you could make up your mind, he reached out, cupping your cheek in his warm hand. You leaned into it, shutting your eyes. Everything in you prayed that he would still be there when you opened them. Warm lips touched yours and you fell into the kiss. Your body immediately reacting to him, wrapping your hands around his neck and pressing yourself to his body.

He used his free hand to wrap around your waist and pull you onto his lap, never breaking the kiss. You broke apart with a gasp but didn’t separate too far, feeling each other’s breath fanning against your faces. Bucky grabbed the blanket that had fallen off your shoulders, wrapping it tightly around the two of you.

“I’m real, doll. I promise,” Bucky whispered, not wanting to break the spell. Tears fell freely down your face, and he did his best to wipe them all away, “don’t cry, Angel, please. You’re breaking my heart.”

“I thought I lost you,” you admitted, letting out a small sobbing hiccup. “I didn’t know what I was going to do. I’d never felt hurt like this before, Bucky.”

“Oh baby, I know. I felt it too, from the moment your hand slipped from mine to the moment I resurfaced and wasn’t able to find you.”

“Where’d you go?”

“I got pulled into the suction of the boat sinking, yanking me away from you. And when I surfaced, I was on the far side of the wreckage. I could faintly hear you calling but I couldn’t get to you.”

“I was so scared. But I knew you’d want me to fight and so I did.”

Bucky kissed you softly, “my little fighter, I knew you would. I had faith you’d make it and I knew I had to survive for you. So I made myself heard when the boats finally came back around,” Bucky paused, his breath hitching. “When I got to this ship and I couldn’t find you,” he shook his head, “it was like nothing I’d ever felt before.”

You nodded, knowing exactly how he felt.

“With you back in my arms, I feel whole again.”

A hand fell on your shoulder, and you looked up to see Bucky smiling down at you, wrinkles accenting his handsome face, “and I never stopped feeling whole, not with you in my arms.”

He leaned down and gave you a passionate kiss. Just as full of love as that first kiss. You could hear the grandkids groaning about cooties, and your kids shushing them, mentioning something about true love.

Bucky settled in beside you, taking the scrapbook off your lap, “I married her the day after we landed in New York. I couldn’t spend another day with her as my wife,” he told the kids. “She looked like an angel. Just as beautiful then as she is now.”

“Oh hush,” you chastised him, hiding your face. He still managed to make you feel butterflies after all these years and the life the two of you led had been a wonderful one. Four children, seven grandchildren, countless pets and so many memories.

It was a life you never thought you’d have when you stepped on that boat, all those years ago. A full life, with everything you could have asked for.

“Once we got married, we told our families,” you started.

“Who turned out to be more excited for us than we thought they’d be,” Bucky chuckled.

“His family was not a fan of Catherine either.”

“And her family just wanted her wed, no matter who the man was. They thought she was too much of a free spirit.”

This brought a laugh to the whole room, knowing just how much of a free spirit you were.

“From there we had Grant, and you all know the rest,” you said, and Bucky shut the scrapbook with a smile.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Grant stated. The rest of your kids agreed as they gathered up the little ones. Each chimed a good night as they headed up the stairs. Your youngest daughter Winnie planted a kiss on each of your cheeks as she left. She had always been a daddy’s girl, making sure to give him an extra hug.

Bucky stood up, reaching out his hand to help you up. Together you began to head to your bedroom upstairs, on the third floor.

“I think we did good, don’t you?” Bucky asked as you passed the plethora of photographs and drawings that littered the walls leading up.

“We got lucky, finding each other when we did,” you smiled. Your hand never left his as you reached the top floor, stopping at a single photo.

“Lucky, yes,” he agreed. “But life owned us too, with everything we went through. Everything we lost.”

His face was haunted, as he looked at the photo of him and Steve, smiling wide for the camera. You tucked yourself under his arm, snuggling closer to him. “He gave up everything for us, and I think we did a good job repaying him.”

Bucky nodded, eyes full of emotion for his lost friend. “I miss him every day, and I thank him just as often.”

“Maybe we’ll see him soon, Buck.”

Silently he turned to you, and gave you a sweet kiss. One you felt all the way to your toes. He cupped your face, gazing into your eyes. Everything he felt, everything he left unsaid, you could read clearly in them. Love filled every part of your part and it was all because of him. A long life with him was blissfully perfect, despite all the hardships.

“Maybe you’re right, Angel.”

With that, the two of you headed to bed, falling into a deep slumber in each other’s arms. Like you had every night for the past 80 years. A calm blanket of love and peace enveloped you both.

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #james bucky barnes #bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #bucky angst #sebastian stan fanfiction

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