#needed an emo sentence for an emo drawing

[buqbite]

"The act of understanding someone started off with admitting that you didn't know anything about that person."

- CH. 539

[ID: Blue-toned Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint fanart of Kim Dokja emerging from huge book pages. He is in his Demon King form, his face is shadowed, and he is clutching his throat. Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk, much smaller than Dokja, stand on the rippling pages and look up at him. End ID]

(ID by princess-of-purple-rose)

#needed an emo sentence for an emo drawing #I think about those three a lot. a lot. And there's a lot of that thought put in here #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #kim dokja #orv kdj #yoo joonghyuk #orv yjh #han sooyoung #orv hsy #orv spoilers #yoohankim #yhk #my art #ok so. #Its like. there is so much impossibly deep sadness in this story #At the core of this story. Because kdj is the sole reader of this story #the enemy of the story and in the end it swallows him up and he becomes it. The ramifications of his boundless misery are world ending #And so much of him wants to become it and die alone. It feels like beating the final boss a bit doesnt it #But they won't let him. Theyll travel the snow field n travel the pages and text and the story again and again to reach him #And its so much greater than them and its so lonely and suffocating #But what else is there than to show that you wont give up on loving this person? That they are at the center of it all? The most powerful #yet powerless at the same time #I need to go the fuck to bed

[moralesmilesanhour]

teamwork (makes the dream work...?) epilogue

summary: they ass is NOT doing homework 🤣

wc: 1k+

A/N: That's a wrap, guys! tysm for reading and enjoying!

prev 'if you believe in me'

“Miles, what is this emo shit you got me listening to?” you laughed.

Miles was currently in the middle of an imaginary drumming solo next to you, with two mechanical pencils as drumsticks. Once the final cymbal crashed, he turned to you to respond.

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s emo, that beat goes crazy. You done with your conclusion yet?” 

You rolled your eyes.

“No, but I’ve got all my body paragraphs together.”

“That shit is due Monday,” the boy adjusted his glasses, “Mr. Padilla don’t do extensions.”

Shutting your laptop in protest, you got up and stretched your arms. “Can we take, like, a ten-minute break?”

Miles smirked. “The last half hour felt like a ‘break’, but sure.”

The smirk fell from his face when he noticed you staring at something on his desk.

“Aye, don’t touch nothing–”

“Is this me?”

Too late.

Miles’ notebook was already in your hands, flipped to a page full of sketches of your face. There were little lines scratched out next to each sketch, as if he were measuring the proportions of your eyes, nose, ears... 

His lines were sharp and geometrical, as always, but they softened at your hair and lips. Speaking of lips, there was an oddly-detailed sketch of them off to the side. He’d even managed to include the suggestion of gloss.

You looked up to see Miles standing in front of you with his arms crossed, expression unreadable. 

“You done invading my privacy yet?” 

“Nope,” you placed a finger on the page. “How long did you need to stare at my face for this?”

You held back a laugh when he tensed visibly.

“Not long enough for it to matter,” he deadpanned, finally snatching the notebook out of your hand. “It was just a study.”

“Oh, so you’ve been ‘studying’ my lips? Got it.”

Miles’ eyes flickered down at them as you spoke before he returned to his spot on the bed. “Whatever. Break’s over.”

“Aw, don’t be like that,” you teased as you followed him, “the drawings are nice! You made me look prettier.”

The boy looked at you like he wanted to say something - to argue - but he remained silent. You elbowed him playfully in the side.

“What, you think I’m ugly, then? I’m telling you, Morales, one day we gon’ fight–”

“No,” he interrupted.

“Complete sentences, please,” you mimicked, laughing when the boy sucked his teeth in response.

“Fine. No, you’re not ugly, and I like drawing you. Can we move on?”

With a triumphant smile, you finally cracked open your laptop again. “Yes, yes we can. I need your genius powers to proofread this for me.”

Miles leaned in to get a good look at your screen, hitting you with the crisp scent of sports deodorant and some generic brand of lotion. You watched his eyes dart back and forth as he read your work out loud to himself in a low mutter. While he read, your gaze drifted away from the screen and landed on his side profile. His ears were now delightfully occupied by tiny gold studs that you would’ve missed at a farther distance. Past his jawline at the nape of his neck, a thin gold chain peeked out at you from beneath his black graphic tee.

Your eyes met Miles’ the moment you brought them back up to his face, amusement playing on his features.

“Yo, are you good? There something on my shirt?”

“Nope,” you shook your head. “Go back to reading.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m done. I just said you need to switch these two body paragraphs so they flow better.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” he laughed, dimples on display. “I’m scared I’mma get my face stolen one day. Do you stare at everybody like that?”

A beat of silence passed as you considered whether to say something bold a second time, if not just for a reaction.

“...Nah, it’s just you.”

Miles blinked, the smile dropping from his face. “Huh?”

“You’re nice to look at, and I can’t draw you in my notebook to make it last longer,” you tilted your head comically. “Staring will have to do.”

Like clockwork, the boy’s hand shot up to his ear to toy with his piercing. He glanced out of the window. 

“The sun’s setting, you should really get that essay done,” he blurted out before narrowing his eyes at you. “What’s so funny?”

You had a hand over your mouth to stifle the laughter. “I’m sorry,” you giggled, “it’s funny when you’re nervous.”

Miles scoffed.

“I’m not nervous.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you sang, beginning to type your conclusion paragraph.

There was no response. 

Your typing slowed as the silence grew long, feeling Miles’ eyes on you until you finally stopped to look at him quizzically.

“Yes?”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Can’t say that I do.”

He leaned in closer until your noses were in danger of brushing each other, looking determined despite the rapid rise and fall of his chest. You met his gaze with a challenge.

“Well? You just gon’ sit there?”

Miles couldn’t hear anything above the heartbeat pounding in his ears, his eyes squeezed shut as he closed the distance between you. 

No one told him that kissing would feel this weird.

For one, your lip gloss wasn’t half as sticky as he’d anticipated it to be, tasting like artificial fruit flavoring. Your sweaty palm came up to rest on the side of his face and kept him anchored as his breath stuttered. Having no idea where he would put his hands (another thing no one had explained to him), he kept them flat on the mattress for support as you deepened the kiss and he leaned back. 

Your hand was gripping his chin now to guide his face. Having kissed at least two other boys before, you had a vague idea of where it was supposed to go. Unlike the other two, Miles was tense, almost unmoving, despite being the initiator.  

Miles’ head buzzed when you pulled away, chuckling softly.

What the hell was so funny? The boy felt white hot blood rapidly coursing through all of the veins in his body at once. He thought he might start floating, like a hot air balloon. Or explode. Or vomit. Preferably the first one.

“Are you okay?” you asked, dropping your hand. “You look like you’re about to faint.”

He blinked slowly, three times. “Yeah, I’m…fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. That was, um…” 

Hand on the neck. “Interesting.”

“A good interesting, I hope,” you laughed.

Miles tilted his head, a small grin spreading across his lips.

“I don’t think I’d mind doing that again.”

Handing the boy your phone, you said, “I think you’d need my number for that.”

-

#miles morales #spiderman across the spiderverse #earth 42 miles morales #miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales x black!reader #miles morales x black!reader #moralesanhour

[greg-montgomery]

i am in desperate need of jealous hotch oh my god especially when he was the one who didn’t want any labels he would be soooo frowny 🤨🤨LIKE all frown man more than he normally is which is soooo much. he’d also be a lil sad emo boy when he sees you get comfortable with another man who isn’t him!!! he’d be all “jj😐who😐is😐he” and jj would be like “oh just some guy from other department who yn went on a date with few weeks ago i think its going reallly well & tonight might be the night” and he would TOTALLY try to hide it fazes him at all later that night but yn knows oh she knows damn well hotchy boy is in love with her

i was giggling and twirling my hair while writing this help. i love jealous hotch 😩

is he lowkey toxic in this??? <3333 maybe so! but just a little bit <33 he loves you 😌

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Aaron heard laughs from outside his office. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on yours. The sound of it was one of the few things in this world that could make his heart absolutely melt.

He could almost see you; the sparkle in your eyes, your beautiful smile…You didn’t smile for him anymore. And that was entirely his fault, he knew it.

He missed you like crazy, and he was the only one to blame.

And that wasn’t to say he didn’t have you at all. He was in your bed every other night. He just never woke up there in the morning.

Aaron knew you wanted him to with the way you clung to him as you fell asleep. But he still woke up in the middle of the night and left you laying there alone, in the mess of sheets you had created together.

“What are we Aaron?” he remembered your small voice asking him. Your head was resting on his chest and his hand was drawing invisible patterns on your bare back.

“Do we have to name it?”

“I just…” you started, but he cut you off.

“Don’t we have fun together?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you replied, softly.

“Then it’s perfect the way it is. No need for labels.”

He kissed your forehead and he knew that with that conversation, he had stolen your smile.

The laughs and voices only grew louder and it made him curious. He stood up and walked out of his office only to find the whole team giggling around you. What threw him off, though, was a man he had never seen before with his arm around your waist, as if he had any right to do so.

Who the hell is that?

Before he had the chance to walk down the stairs he saw the man leaning in, giving you a kiss. He was kissing your lips. He was kissing the lips that Aaron kissed.

The little group you had created separated, probably to give you and this guy some privacy.

Aaron walked closer and found himself next to JJ.

“Who is that?” he asked, desperately trying to act casual. He was just making conversation.

“Oh, he’s a guy from the department upstairs. He’s hilarious,” JJ laughed. He assumed she remembered a joke he had said earlier.

“And what is he doing on our floor?”

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” she smiled. “He’s here to see Y/N. They went out on a date like a week ago and he’s obsessed with her already. Don’t tell her I told you that, but I think that tonight might be the night.”

He felt his blood boil at her words. Tonight might be the night? Over his dead body.

“Hotch, are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine,” he said and left her side in order to approach you; thankfully finding you without “the guy from the department upstairs”.

“Who was that?” he asked, walking towards somewhere more private and you followed him.

“Oh…that was Sam,” you replied casually.

“Sam?” he asked, frustrated.

“Yes, Sam,” you smiled.

“I see. And why were Sam’s lips on yours?”

“Mm…that must be because we’re seeing each other,” you explained, with a tone that implied his question was stupid.

“Seeing each other?”

“Are you going to turn every sentence I say into a question?”

“Y/N, answer me.”

“Yes I’m seeing him. I’m single, aren’t I?” you crossed your arms, waiting for his answer.

“Don’t do that right now.”

“You’re right,” you said calmly. “I won’t. Instead, I’m gonna go pick up my things. I need to go home early to get ready. I have a date tonight.”

He grabbed your arm carefully not to hurt you and brought his face close to yours.

“You’re not letting him touch you tonight,” he whispered.

“Try me.”

- -

“I swear I had never felt more humiliated in my life.”

“That’s so crazy,” you faked laughed. It was probably a funny story that he was telling you. And he was probably a funny guy too; the entire team seemed charmed by him. You just weren’t paying any attention. Your mind was dominated by a man you should be letting suffer with his jealousy.

But God, Sam couldn’t even compare to him. How anyone could?

It was impossible to let go of the possessive way he threatened you not to let Sam touch you. You remembered feeling his breath on your neck and how your body was begging for him, no matter how hard you had tried to act unfazed.

You always loved how he towered over you and…

And was he walking into the restaurant you were having dinner at? Had you manifested him there by thinking of him so intensely? Or were you just slowly going insane?

You saw him getting closer and closer to your table and you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Good evening,” Aaron said with a surprisingly polite smile.

I’m gonna kill him, you thought.

“Hello,” Sam said, clearly not knowing what was going on.

“Y/N is actually leaving, I’m sorry,” Aaron said.

“No, she’s not,” you responded, annoyed.

“Yes, she is,” he said with so much certainty in his voice that made you equally annoyed and eager to follow him.

He was looking right into your eyes and he stretched his arm out, waiting for you to take his hand in yours. And you did, whispering that he’s “such an asshole” while standing up so only he could hear you.

“I know,” he whispered back and you bit your bottom lip so you could hide your smile.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, looking adorably confused which made you feel awful for leaving him behind.

“I’m so sorry, Sam. We have a case and I need to go with him.”

“Damn, couldn’t you just call her?” he asked.

“I was in the area,” Aaron stated, flatly.

“Right,” he said, not looking really convinced. You couldn’t blame him.

“Sam, I know this is shitty of me.”

“Don’t worry, it’s your job,” he smiled. He was so sweet. You made a mental note to set him up with one of your hot friends, he deserved it.

You made a move to pay but he immediately dismissed you. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Thank you, Sam.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

--

“You made me leave a date with the sweetest man I’ve ever met,” you told Aaron as he was walking you to his car.

“You wouldn’t be here if you wanted him,” he simply said, opening the door for you.

He walked to the other side of the car and settled into his seat too. “You would have told me to fuck off,” he continued.

“Yeah, now that you mention it, I should have.”

He laughed and you couldn’t help but join him.

“God…what have you done to me?” you asked, letting your head fall on the head rest of your seat.

“I’m so sorry for everything.”

You turned your head to the side to stare at him, but you stayed silent.

He reached out for your hand and held it. “I wouldn’t have ruined your date if I wasn’t certain that you love me.”

“Fuck off, Aaron.”

He grinned at your words. “And if I wasn’t certain that I love you too.”

“You do?” your voice broke.

“Of course I do, baby. So much.” He cupped your cheek with his hand and you nuzzled in it.

“Then why did you act the way you did?”

“I was scared. Y/N…you’re the first woman I’ve been with since Haley. And the first woman I’ve ever fallen this hard for. I don’t know…I felt… guilty? So I figured if we kept things casual, it would be better. I know how selfish that was of me and I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Do you have any idea how it made me feel to wake up in an empty bed every morning while my sheets still smelled like you? How I wanted to do all these things for you, like - I don’t know - simply pack you lunch for work, but I held myself back because I was afraid you’d get mad at me for acting like a “girlfriend”?” you raised your voice, as tears filled the corners of your eyes.

“I’m genuinely so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could go back in time and change things,” he said, sounding heartbroken. “Sweetheart, if you let me I’m gonna make it up to you, I promise.”

He wiped your tears with his thumb and you kept staring at him without saying a word.

“I’ll wait for you forever if you need me to, take all the time you need,” he added, sweetly.

“No, you won’t have to,” you said. “I’ve made up my mind already.”

He looked into your eyes waiting for your answer and you noticed he had stopped breathing for those moments.

“I wanna be with you, Aaron,” you smiled and kissed his palm that was still on your cheek.

“My love…” he said and brought your face close enough so that he could rest his forehead on yours. “I promise I’m going to love you more and more every day. I already do.”

“I love you too, Aaron.”

“Let’s go home,” he said and kissed the top of your head.

After several minutes of him driving, a question popped into you head. “How did you even know where we were?”

“Do you think Garcia would miss an opportunity to get the two of us together?”

“Oh, I should have figured.”

send me aaron thoughts <333

#aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotch 🪐 #ask

[morallygreyyn]

when the hxh boys want cuddles (hc)

warnings: fluff ig if you’re emo

characters: kurapika, hisoka, illumi

authors note: was kinda bored and thought fuck it, why not so here’s how I imagine the hxh boys would ask for cuddles! this is a reach and just for funsies this is literal trash I swear

Requests are open!

what kurapika wants: snuggles

what he gets: strUGGLES

pls this boy just needs a hug

preferably one that makes him feel like he matters, like someone cares for him

he’s just really stressed out and desperate for some sort of comfort

so when it’s just the two of you alone after a really long and stressful day, boy slowly comes to the realisation that he wants your arms around him, soothing away his worries for a while

he needed to be held

now the key was how was he going to ask you

usually kurapika could be counted on for his calm composure and sound reasoning

when it comes to feelings however? think again because this boy has NO idea how to deal with them

he considers asking but he just can’t get the words out

“hey y/n, are you busy or do you have a moment?”

he has all your moments tbh so you were over to him like a shot

boy couldn’t even finish his sentence

you had always been quite attune to his needs and wants, seemingly knowing kurapika better than himself sometimes so when you saw him sitting on the edge of the couch, twiddling his thumbs and looking for all the world that he needed some comfort, you knew exactly what to do

you swiftly sat next to him and pulled the blonde into your arms, cradling his head against your chest.

you could hear him sigh and melt into your touch, especially when you ran your fingers through his hair

“thanks.” he murmured, nestling against you, already forgetting about his burdens for the time being

“any time.” you kissed the top of his head

you two stayed like that, even when you had moved to the bedroom

kurapika fell asleep in your arms and had one of the most restful nights sleep he had gotten in a long while

we all know hisoka isn’t a stranger to physical touch

he’s absolutely psychotic but this man knows how to dish out a caress, an embrace and many other things that aren’t so lovely

damn boy what those hands do

i imagine hisoka to be quite a touchy feely lover so i don’t think he would be shy whenever he wanted some physical attention

he would just have to look with those narrowed eyes and sly smile for you to know he wanted something

“i don’t trust that smile.”

“you never do.” he remarked, drawing closer to you

“i’m about to be attacked aren’t I?”

as expected, hisoka pounced and you were engulfed in this man’s long arms

it really wouldn’t matter what you were doing, whether you were busy or not

if hisoka wanted a hug, he was gonna get one

you stood motionless for a moment, trying to process what had happened in the last three seconds and when your brain finally caught up you returned the embrace

“you could’ve asked you know.”

“but where’s the fun in that?”

does this man even understand the concept of hugging

i don’t think illumi has ever been hugged once in his life

i also don’t think he would know that he wanted one

you were a daring individual, you were dating illumi for crying out loud

unconfirmed by him as he never gave you much to go on, you just knew he had somewhat of a soft spot for you seeing as he never killed you after all of your pestering

so you took that as a good sign

you had never met someone who was more emotionally constipated as the eldest zoldyck sibling

but you knew deep deep deep down, he secretly wanted a hug

he just didn’t know it yet

“illumi?”

“hm?”

“do you want a hug?”

this boy has no idea how to comprehend that question, he just stares at you with his trademark blank expression

“what?”

you repeated yourself and got the same response

not one to be deterred, you slowly approached the stoic assassin as if he were an untamed tiger

you were very close to him now and had stretched out your arms, his gaze never leaving you

“what are you doing?”

“what does it look like? i’m gonna give you a hug.”

“why?” there didn’t appear to be any anger in his tone, only mild confusion mixed with his unenthused way of speaking

“because i want to, and i know you secretly want one.” illumi never bothered to reply to that one

ever so slowly you inched closer until you had successfully managed to wrap your arms around his waist and his arms as he never moved them from his sides

hugging him tightly, you rested your head on his shoulder

“see now isn’t this nice.”

illumi didn’t respond. but he didn’t move out of your embrace either

he would never admit it but you knew he secretly liked it

you stayed like that for a minute before deciding to pull away, not wanting to push your luck any further

“lemme know if you ever want another one!” you winked at him before leaving the room

you didn’t know it and he would never say it, but illumi’s usually frozen heart jumped when you had hugged him 

he would never ask for another but he thought maybe hugs weren’t so bad after all 

and if you ever offered another one he wouldn’t be in a position to decline

#hxh #hunter x hunter #illumi #illumi zoldyck #hisoka #hisoka marrow #illumi x reader #hisoka x reader #kurapika #kurapika x reader #feitan #feitan x reader #headcanon #hxh headcanons #hxh scenarios #hxh x reader #killua x reader #leorio x reader #chrollo x reader

[gildeddlily]

finally re-reading stormbringer, first post of a long list (30 photos limit go die) we stan the flags

I read stormbringer this summer, and it was something (it destroyed me and made Chuuya became my favourite character of all bsd- more than anyone else (like sigma, he's my fav in the decay of angels arc), chuuya solos everyone and you know it shut up)

so, like I did with fifteen I feel the urge to share everything cause yeah we all need to suffer more

1. We Stan The Flags

This always makes me laugh, cause Chuuya's like "yeah, it's probably the shadiest and most dangerous role I could have as a non-executive, what's so important ab it? It's cool guys I'm not better than you all" (imposter syndrome sir)

I love Pianoman. I just- I love the Flags, and I will always fantasize ab a world where they're still alive. and them bullying chuuya is my favourite trope alr.

and i just know that in a no powers au chuuya would have been the kind of teenager to befriends people older than him like ten years age gap, cause people his age just weren't for him (in an healthy way guys)

try to not think ab chuuya's inability to accept gifts and love, and just some of the most powerful men in the mafia being excited ab a silly guy (silly chuuya who's stronger than half of them(gotta write chuuya and iceman first meeting))

the... the fruitiness of this sentence is menacing so I'm gonna- just yk

the au where Chuuya takes Lippman place ad the mafia's contact with the light is so beautiful and sad. and that fic where he takes chuuya on set I'm crying stop it

canon chuuya is so mean. Like not mean, just harsh. a lot of people only sees him as someone who gets mad at Dazai and is a peace of cake with everyone else- like no? he send to hell every person he talks to and goes on with "wanna know the power of gravity" every two seconds. he's just chuuya, gotta accept him as our little mass murder with anger issues that needs to be controlled cause the Mafia boss is afraid he's gonna die if he doesn't <333

and this is so beautiful in a way. he always talks ab killing dazai and dazai doesn't help with that, only giving him more reasons to do so, and same with the flag. anger issues maybe, but is he really angry with dazai and the others? we see him really mad, and it is not a pretty thing to watch- and they all know what mad chuuya really looks like and just know when he's yes angry but not really. everyone is ready to fight, and are relieved when things dont escalate (they love chuuya so much stop please)

they comfort him in a way that is heartwarming. they don't offer him useless words or things like "don't worry you have a past and you're human", they don't beat around the bush. Pianoman's like "hey, we know you don't know if you're human, and I'm gonna be super harsh ab it cause we're in the mafia and all of that but listen kid, here we are ab to solve your existential crisis"

even Iceman, the cold blooded hitman who almost killed chuuya a couple of times and was ab to try it five minutes before this, is fucking smiling. they're so happy to help him it hurts (just know iceman called him kid at least some times. he's the real big brother and I just know it)

yes, this is the first time chuuya has real friends- not kids he has to look after and protect without receiving gratitude but just a "it's the least you can do" attitude, not whatever-the-fuck-is-going-on with dazai, just friends. they spend time sìtogether, they give eachother gifts. they're kind with eachother in the ways the know how

an chuuya doesn't know what to do, cause he has never had this type of relationship with anyone, the "give-receive" mechanism that every relationship should have. he doesn't know what to do, and I need to hug him

and then the gag we needed and something I need to draw (Pianoman definitely is the tired mom. Iceman is the dad cause yeah who other. Chuuya and Albatross the sons, Doc the gay emo cousin (what do you mean you wish to be carried by Adam sir) and Lippman the sassy aunt. just see it)

he kind of is sir (he's fucking sixteen just kill me)

something I love ab him is the fact that he's emotionally constipated but like one of the less serious one. he knows that he can be easy to read since he's very open ab his emotions (even if they understand he could just kill everyone, so), but can be serious in a way a teenager shouldn't be able to. he chooses to be so open with dazai, the flags and the people he cares about. the trust king fr

they all know he's gonna come back (and that he's crying) cause he probably wanted them to, or he would have reacted worse to getting understood so easily

and this is the trope asagiri give us so many times and the best one in the history of tropes. bad scary guys having fun with some other bad scary guys and enjoying their time together like normal people.

...kafka, my love, stop it. you were doing do good

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer #chuuya nakahara #the flags #bsd verlaine #bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd stormbringer #reading things and making too many screenshots #bsd spoilers

[chronotopes]

PERSONAL WRITING WRAPPED 2023

Getting this done significantly earlier than I got it done last year, which I think may in itself be an indication of being in "a better mental place."

Let's get to it.

CREATIVE NONFICTION, NEW FIRST DRAFTS:

"Catalogue of Thoughts, With Rebukes," January. CLASSIC katia journal entry turned essay format, which is "conversation between versions of myself." Artistic enough suffering that it totally counts as a cnf essay.

"I Can't Remember..." (titled in real life "my homework from brenda and julie"), January. Essay Written For Practice, specifically inspired by the prompt "Write an essay where every sentence starts with 'I can't remember.' Cathartic and has some bits of very pretty prose. Maybe I don't agree with the overall conclusions it draws, but I sure like it as a piece of writing.

"As the sun sets over [my local river], I consider Joan of Arc," January. broooo why were my early-in-the-year cnf titles so pretentious. Lyric essay meets prose poem but I'm choosing to classify it as a lyric essay. First draft dictated into my voice memos, mad scribe style. Man i used to love voice memos.

"Elegy for a life I can't live," April. Boooo emo bullshit booo but once again cathartic and perhaps more clear-sighted about things than the previous work. Anaphora got me through a lot in the first half of this year.

"I don't understand music," April. Finally, creative nonfiction that isn't about depressing shit! About a) piano and b) love, obviously. Needs a lot of editing but I am fond of her.

"Orthodox," July. Old poem about national identity and religion that I reformulated into a very unpolished essay.

"Two gay preteens and a lake monster," July. Another old poem, reformulated into a flash essay this time. Polished it enough to submit to a call for flash essay submissions and then never did.

"Nikolayevna," July. ALSO an old poem reformulated into a flash essay. This is my favorite trick and I will do it to all of my mid-but-promising poetry one day. This one's about ~generational cycles!~

"My dead boss and my dead friend," July. New addition to my senior spring flash essay series from last year.

"A spoiler, displaced in time," July. Another new addition to the senior spring flash essay, in an effort to make it more rounded with context I did not then have.

"[personal bullshit relevant situation], or 'The Kids from Yesterday.'" The Senior Spring Essays in their totality cannot ever seen the light of day for many reasons and one of them is that the ending rests partly on an MCR-based metaphor. Which is very silly.

"Justifications," October. Oh lord back to For Processing Purposes Only creative nonfiction. That's cool I guess. Mad about how good the prose in these quasi-journal entries is and the degree to which i did not write enough of them this year.

12 pieces in total.

CREATIVE NONFICTION, NEW DRAFTS OF OLD STUFF AND UNFINISHED BUT PROMISING NEW STUFF.

"Catalogue of Kitchenware," February-August. What it sounds like.

"Obsidian Greythorne's Depression Cannot Be Cured By Finding A New, Alive Girlfriend" and "Fornax And Annue Cannot Ever Have Sex For Reasons I Just Made Up," March-June. Two entries in an envisioned series of essays exploring adolescent sexuality/identity/experience through old fictionwriting adventures.

"Catalogue of Berries," July. Eastern Europe posting.

"On Taking the Waters," July. I said "Oh, I know what's missing from this old essay about being very sad in bath!" and stuck my friend who died in there. Classic essay trick.

"A Grand Palatial House of the Old South," July. Heterosexual roommate angst processing essay, refined.

"On being old enough to talk about the war," July. Flash essay (really edging out of flash essay territory, it got long) from last year about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, completely rewritten.

"A Hill in the [local civil war history location]," July. Also a flash essay from the senior spring essays, rewritten enough to count as a newish thing.

"A Car Is Like A Little House," August. Suburbia, weather, immigration, the interstate highway system, all the usual suspects in my writing.

Nine pieces in total.

POETRY:

"Myopia in seventh-grade notebooks," January. "It is january 2023, and one year ago I should have known better. / And unlike all of the other times I ruined my life, that time, it was for forever." Less Vent Poetry and more unified concept worth working from. About reading notes to myself in old diaries.

"Novice time traveler," February. Jesus christ reading through these is killing me. This one shares a lot of ideas with dialogues but is less good lol.

"3/23/2022," February. A sestina I wrote for Gabe on the occasion of our first anniversary, and certainly a sestina I like a lot more than the first sestina I wrote. Not groundbreaking stuff but I like it anyway. I would have to take a Real Poetry Class to get properly good at poetry, I think. For those curious: my words were moon, dare, blossom, spring, test, and time.

I would write Gabe little poems every day for the last few months of being longish-distance. Not all of them were good, and I cannot count them to save my life, but among them were "Sonnet for a job application," "Sonnet for an orchestra concert," "February Villanelle," "Sonnet for warmth," "Sonnet for Spring," "For Dusk," "For the sinking sun." Some of them will be something one day. Others had value in their ephemeral Baby Poem status.

Ten completed pieces in total, a whole lot more little stuff than that.

FICTION:

52 or so thousand words of what was once titled Adventures of the Extranei and is now titled fucking, like, Untitled Quartz the Novel Project, June-November. What started out as last year's fascination with an old, sprawling, deeply flawed novel turned into a perhaps-ill-advised attempt to rename (almost) all the characters and rewrite it to be coherent. Currently, it exists in the form of a 100-page outline and one nanowrimo's worth of novel (three parts out of like twelve complete). I'll go back to it after I finish Aivide, if only because of Sunk Cock Theory.

A rewritten prologue to what was once titled Adventures of the Extranei: The Next Generation and is now titled Dude If You Rewrite All Of Nextgen Too You're Going To Have To Start Asking For Money For It Because Seriously We're Talking 500k+ words of story here. What can I say, sometimes the grip of "I could do this BETTER" overtakes you.

Three edited existing chapters and one brand new revised chapter of AIVIDE THE PREQUEL, August-December. READ IT HERE, unless you haven't read Vinbre the Novel yet, in which case read Vinbre the Novel first. Very proud of the ways I've sneakily grown as a writer since first drafting the last three chapters, very glad for the opportunity to write it as I see it now and share it with the world.

About 85,000 words in total if you only count the completely new chapter of Aivide, somewhere around 100,000 if you count stuff I added to the old ones. I could probably be more accurate about it if I wasn't writing this at 2 AM on new year's eve. (Afternoon after edit: About 37,000 new words of Aivide + 51,980 words of Quartz + 10,007 words of nextgen bullshit = just about 98,000 words of fiction. yippee!!)

Overall, 26 completed(ish) pieces in total, counting the venty drafts and the revisions, which constituted a lot of what I wrote this year.

SUPERLATIVES:

Most Economical: "Two Gay Preteens and a Lake Monster," "My Dead Boss and My Dead Friend"

Most Romantic: "I don't understand music"

Greatest Potential: "A car is like a little house," "Orthodox"

Best Emerging Genre: Essay collections

Biggest Comeback: Fiction

Most Likely To Succeed: "Catalogue of Berries," "On Taking the Waters," "Orthodox," "A Car is like a little house"

The One You Should Read: Aivide the Prequel

Worst Girls of the Year: Quartz Greythorne and Aivide Thieri

#writing adventures #OKAY. DONE.

[chibishortdeath]

Ok ok so this one needs context, it’s like half a shitpost half an actual artwork and it all happened because of the tag on this post that I ran into before I had an account:

#scene legend!

So uh, I thought about that for a really long time. The sheer hilarity of calling Simon a scene legend, so I drew something silly >:3c.

You gotta see the context before you see the art trust me on this one it’s important—

So this exists now lol. Scene legend Simon everybody, Konami hire me to make character costumes please— (reform your company first)

I debated making the hair primarily red, but I thought yellow with a red underside looked way cooler :3. Middle school me would’ve DIED for hair like that. The raccoon stripe ear tails are a nod to when Haunted Castle gave him blue hair. I could’ve given him a bit of green since he had that in a palette swap in Dream Mix TV Fighters, but I didn’t know at the time of drawing it (>~< ). A lot of the grid patterns are based on color palettes and textures found in the NES games!!! The shoulder armor being black with the blue outline is based on the Simon’s Quest text boxes!!! There’s also a lot of item sprites!!! And the sharpie writing on his shoes say on his right “The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night”and out of view “bloody tears”, and the left says “vampire killer” and “what a horrible night to have a curse”!!!!!!!! :D. At a certain point this was just a challenge to see how many references I could put in one outfit. Tbh I think I could do more than this, but yeah. Idk how to end sentences and paragraphs uh anyway—

Bonus silly doodles with Judgement Simon being emo lol (he’s got that Death Note shirt) and some old memes I guess based on the whip spinning mechanic. d(•w• ) Anyway I should draw Simon as a HotTopic worker someday—

#do I main tag this #yeah sure let’s main tag this #there’s not much in the Simon tag anyway 💀💀💀 #castlevania #castlevania games #castlevania judgment #castlevania chronicles #simon belmont #akumajou dracula #art post #my art #shitpost?????? #idk what the Castlevania shitposting tag is uhhhh… do we even have one wait #anyway I am cringe but I am free #Simon is allowed to wear anything he wants #anytime I make any outfits for him I look at all the ones he’s had before and try to judge what he likes and would be comfortable with #I’m reading that again now and that’s a sentence for sure #I’m normal about fictional characters :3 #yeah but tada the silliness™️ I guess #also please imagine Simon working the counter at a hot topic #socially inept ​barbarian man #it would be so cruel to make him do customer service 💀 #castlevania au where Simon is a HotTopic cashier Dracula is his shitty boss and the curse is his job help I am dying fucking laughing #silly posting #enjoy i guess <3

[lotus-duckies]

The funniest piece of criticism for Mutant Mayhem I've seen is that the voices 'sound too childish'. Like, I don't even know what to say to that. Like, why are TEENAGE turtles, given TEENAGE voice actors. It makes me wonder how many adult people actually remember being teenagers.

your honor the audience shouldn't be forgetting that the main characters aren't even old enough to legally drive (that being 16 in New York)

i really don't think many adults remember being teenagers, or like. they choose not to remember it. i mean just look at every american teen drama ever.

girl you can't even sum up my teen years in 1 sentence because so much happened!! I wrote like. creepypasta and fnaf porn. i had an emo phase. i drew lots of silly little drawings. i wore cat ears before it was Cool tm. i listened to nightcore religiously. i had a queer awakening and started exploring my heritage. i got lowkey labeled as a problem child with undiagnosed autism and adhd. i listened to my art classmates complain about society while i glued woerms to a piece of cardboard.

that's what i need to see the turtle boys doing. I crave them living the True Teen Experience, they are going through life not knowign what's happening and similtaneously trying to have a good time and dying and i'm excited to see what mutant mayhem does

#mutant mayhem #tmnt

[wild-grinders]

Wild Grinders: The Fan Analysis (Pt.3)

First Previous

if anyone has finals, consider this as a gift for making it through

Alright, it’s time for the third part of the analysis. It took awhile to actually begin writing this because I don’t want to dive into my self-indulgent yuri-beam reboot. And we shouldn’t nitpick to make the series ‘better.’ However, there’s a lot for Wild Grinders to improve on that that leaves you thinking, ‘Actually, we should rework it entirely.’ And that’s what this is. The best way was to organize it into 3 categories: Theme, Plot, and Characters. Most of this analysis is going to focus on the writing because animation is not always in our control. (And we kinda covered animation in the last part and said it needed a whole renovation).

That being said, this part of the analysis is primarily focused on keeping the structure of the TV series and the original vision that Rob Dyrdek has. (To the best of my ability).

[Part A]

Let’s assume that the script is taken seriously. Wild Grinders need to have a better overall theme because the wacky skate tricks didn’t do enough to draw in attention.

The current theme of Wild Grinders doesn’t exactly work. As mentioned in the second of my analysis, the writers were trying their best to appeal to the Gen Z audience. Usually by means of implementing modern pop culture references and putting social media in the spotlight in the latest episodes. While the writers aren’t wrong about the technology/socmed obsession amongst children, they missed out on an extremely alarming picture. They didn’t notice why children were becoming gravitated to this era of internet.

Recently, I have been learning about the way that society treats children and teenagers. (Awkward sentence, sorry). But I find myself learning more and more about the ways that society puts control on what kids can and cannot do. Many adults make the decisions to remove places to hang out such as parks and even skate parks (reason: to prevent drug dealers). In the age of our digital era, theaters and physical media are diminishing in favor of online subscriptions. Basically, kids are losing public spaces where they can hang out safely.

And it does NOT stop there. Cops are constantly being funded to ‘handle’ teens who are loitering (Why? Because they don’t have places to hang out). I don’t want to go on an off-topic rant in this analysis, but this post sums up what I’m trying to talk about. It really makes your brain think about the ways that society fails to let kids… be kids. Society uses harmful tactics to remove teenagers for ‘the greater safety’ of property. And I doubt that adults will listen to younger people who speak up about it. Instead, society would rather complain about raising a generation of phone-addicted youths. Older children and teenagers will be threatened and put into dangerous just by being outside because cops have control on where they can be. And by having ‘suspicion’ on teenagers is absolutely allowed in their rulebook to put a kid in a police station.

This is what Wild Grinders should have focused on as the whole theme if you consider the setting it takes place in (2010ish). If the writers wanted to talk about the phone-addicted kids, then they should have questioned why it was happening in the first place. Not only that, but it’s just a perfect theme for Wild Grinders. Reason one, it’s completely different from Rocket Power (their main theme was the history and safety of extreme sports). Reason two, it fits for the main cast. Lil’ Rob is literally the embodiment of ‘screw your authority!’ Jay Jay and Spitball are literally POC characters that the police often go after and the series could have delved into this. In Ketterville-canon, Jack Knife is homeless and lives under a highway, he’s 100% anti-cop. Emo Crys could have went to Linkin Park territory and his archetype was meant to be an intensely rebellious soul. And Goggles? He has the camera to capture video evidence of everything they go through.

Is it possible to air an anti-cop TV series? Nope. But it’s very possible to write and utilize it for what Wild Grinders is. A group of preteens who want to just hang out and skate. In fact, a few of the episodes featured the Wild Grinders being turn away by security and cops when they wanted to find a place to skate. However, they just obeyed in favor of ‘sending a good message to kids about obeying the rules.’ And the script writers didn’t think to push it further than this. But man, they could have done something else entirely if they went to the territory of police brutality used on adolescents. The Monster High Movie, Ghouls Rule! actually did something like this! The movie managed to present a family-friendly version of what ‘police brutality on teenagers’ feels like. To be specific, it wasn’t until 2020 when MH fans became aware of this hidden message and began openly talking about it on Tumblr and TikTok. But to keep it brief, Monster High movies were able to explain police brutality and racism incredibly well. And it’s possible for Wild Grinders to use this a whole theme for a series about kids who want to skateboard in an anti-children and anti-loitering system.

But anti-cops won’t be the only theme in Wild Grinders, there’s another theme that I would love to see; a coalition of diverse skaters. Rob Dyrdek’s vision when creating the Wild Grinders’ characters was to have a diverse cast who were brought together by their love of skating. The idea of diversity has always been intentional for Wild Grinders, but the writers did NOT utilize it enough! They attempted to make the cast be diverse in personality, but they made all of their backgrounds vague and look like they were all normal American kids by hiding their families. Not only that, but they missed out on multiple opportunities to create other skaters outside of the Wild Grinders skate crew. (We’ll talk about this later). In the second season, they were close to introducing the ‘Street Rats’, the crew that Squeaks was apart of. But 2015 happened and Rob Dyrdek packed up his TV series because he didn’t have the motivation to continue Wild Grinders. But we can’t really blame Dyrdek, he was going through a rough patch at the time and the studio screwed Wild Grinders over (in animation and the writing). And that’s why I’m here to talk about what should have been done. And most of it is to improve the writing! The writers were adults who didn’t bother to understand what kids wanted more of at the time and began to parody off of other kids’ TV series.

But yeah. If the writers weren’t bent to the idea of kids-being-incapable-of-thought-processing, then we could see more effort being put into the theme. And not just that, but some of the writers just weren’t here to write for kids and wanted to write Adult Swim jokes. Do I have a passive-aggressive voice about these adult writers? Definitely. Children deserve to consume media that has good writing about meaningful messages in the world.

[Part B]

Next step, Wild Grinders needs to use these two main themes for the plot.

We know for a fact that Rob Dyrdek never planned for a real plot in Wild Grinders. If we were to take his route, Wild Grinders will eventually become boring because a good plot draws people more than the quirkiness. In order to draw people through quirkiness, the visuals need to exceed expectations (clearly something that Wild Grinders failed to do in animation). Therefore, we need to think about a plot for Wild Grinders because it does NOT have the budget for a Kyoto Animation or BONES Studio anime. The plot is compensation here!! It needs to be worked on well!!

Let’s diverge from Rob Dyrdek’s ideas. He wants to make an amazing, cool, and crazy series. But in order to do something like this, you do need some sort of plot. Conflict in writing can lead to all sorts of situations that causes to the characters to be cool, crazy, and amazing.

There is some plot in the writing of Wild Grinders, each episode being 13 minutes long and trying its best to implement one. Most of the episodes have decent plots, but these plots didn’t grab the audiences’ attention, unless you actually liked Wild Grinders as a whole. I don’t know the most professional way to explain this, but Wild Grinders needs a build-up to a greater plot, it needs an actual ‘Big Bad’. Or it just needs a longer run time to build it up better. Some of my favorite small, plot-driven episodes were ‘Midas Touch’ and ‘Skater Who Cried Wolf’ because it didn’t rely on wacky quips to make it entertaining. ‘Skater Who Cried Wolf’ made the animation put extra effort in enhancing the setting, by having Lil’ Rob and his friends watch a horror movie on a school night and then making a ghost-hunting green-filtered screen chase around in the woods. It was just a cool episode compared to the rest. But ‘Midas Touch’? That episode will always be my weakness in Wild Grinders. It focused on a character other than Lil’ Rob, but the plot would be rushed because of the runtime. I wanted to see deeper into Goggles’s character when he decided to become popular. Hell, I wanted to see him be mean to his friends and let the popularity get into his head. (Well, we did see this in ‘Going Hollyweird’, but even that was short). But the resolution to ‘Midas Touch’ was simplified where Goggles’s just cries about not being able to nerd out. No. I want more inner conflict on his side and his to feel deeper regrets other than rejecting a movie screening. While these episodes are both quick and easy plots, ‘Midas Touch’ contributed to the greater idea that is known as character development. Something that is essential for a greater plot. Can I elaborate why this is? Not really, but you just have trust me that it does work.

Anyways, let’s get into the real idea here. Using the themes of diversity and cops abusing their authority on the youth. The main plot will have to involve a large-scale conflict against the police force that bans skateboarding. That’s it. That’s the plot. But it will need to developed throughout the series, carefully placed in different episodes until it becomes a more blatant problem. Think about it for a moment. The first episode makes an off-hand reference to the way that police ‘warn’ skateboarding kids to stay away from the mall. Then it leads to episodes where characters are being arrested for ‘loitering’ in an outdoor public space. Finally, there’s an entire ban on skateboarding in the whole city and you’ve got a group of kids who are willing to challenge it. This is what the writers completely missed out on because they didn’t put themselves in the same shoes of Gen Z youth.

And we can add more to this mix. We need to add in a diversity of skateboarders, they all come from different backgrounds and have different experiences, but they share their love of skateboarding and do their best to protect each other in a world where adults rule over them. Wild Grinders needs LGBTQ kids, teens who want justice for their POC friends, and young adults who are willing to listen to them. They all love skateboarding and they’re sick of adults who want to take their skating spaces away from them.

Wild Grinders was able to make this a plot, but they didn’t.

[Part C]

We need to talk about the characters. We’ve got a lot and we’ve got nothing going on for the cast. As stated before, Rob Dyrdek wanted to create a diverse cast of skateboarders. But he didn’t do the best job at balancing them as characters. Obviously, Lil’ Rob was the main character and got all the attention, but it got to the point that he was considered a Gary Stu because of it. There’s such an imbalance between him and his friends. The TV series didn’t do ALL of the Wild Grinders any justice. They were all watered down to adore Lil’ Rob and when they never got any real development. There was an attempt to balance the characters, but they were lacking. They were always reduced to their conventional personalities and felt static and sterile. Lil’ Rob clearly has the majority of episodes that focus on him.

It’s shocking that Emo Crys has the least amount of episodes considering his popularity and the fact that Rob Dyrdek always hyped him during the first wave of toys. But it’s important to note that the rest of the cast often got their spotlight stolen by Lil’ Rob when they were meant to have an episode dedicated to them. ‘Wild BFFs’ is an oddball on here because it didn’t really contribute to Jack Knife’s characters, but it was an episode where Lil’ Rob didn’t take it away from him. Either way, these were the episodes where the writers tried to put some spotlight on the rest of the main cast, but these episodes fell short. Jay Jay and Emo Crys had the most lukewarm episodes where Lil’ Rob usually has to solve the problem. ‘Wild Grinder with Two Heads’ was the only episode where Lil’ Rob was actually cut off, but both Jay Jay and Emo Crys had to share this episode. Honestly, it wasn’t exactly the best episode because it was one of the ‘wacky’ ones and it’s just brings secondhand embarrassment to watch it. It’s great to see 2 different characters (one of them not being Lil’ Rob) have to work out their problem together, but I would rather have it be a handcuffs situation where they were forced to work out their differences. Spitball is clearly the quiet character and that makes some excuse for his lack of episodes. To keep him mysterious. Goggles had the best development out of everyone in most of his episodes, but it still feels underwhelming until ‘Midas Touch’. While it looks like Jack Knife has a lot of episodes, there’s something that pisses me off about them all. It’s his Sprawl City-canon personality. He was reduced to being the dumb, uneducated American with a southern accent. This funny persona basically demolishes him from having a meaningful character arc. I want the Ketterville-canon Jack Knife for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the whole point of his character was being the kindest out of all the Wild Grinders despite the fact that he was poor and made to always be the joke. Before the production of the TV series, all the Grinders had expression sheets drawn by Tracey, only Emo Crys’s sheet being released. However, there was a tweet that revealed a glimpse of Jack Knife’s sheet where he was like full-on, pissed-the-hell-off.

The only reason why they could never let Jack Knife be angry in the series was to probably avoid him from looking like an angry redneck due to his strong southern accent being permanent later on. If they stuck to the Ketterville-canon and original voice actor for Jack Knife, we could have had an episode where he finally snaps after being docile for long enough. My boy was meant to slash tires and defend his friends when they are mistreated!!

Speaking of Ketterville-canon, it was very fleshed-out and made the characters unique and interesting. You want to know why Spitball got his nickname? He used his spit on people because he thought it would heal wounds from a story he heard. The writers should have made Emo Crys way more moodier and Jay Jay deserves more screen time of his hobbies. The rest of the cast needs to have conflicts (both internal and outside) of their lives and be able to resolve them. The writers avoided anything that would truly challenge the characters in favor of keeping a conventional typecast. And we aren’t done yet. Another improvement on characters we need is: less antagonists and adults that appear for an episode. There’s too many one-time villains in the TV series than like, actual kids who are the same age the Wild Grinders. No, this doesn’t mean we need a girl skate crew to play as girlfriends. Absolutely not. We need different kids who love to skateboard. We need gay and trans kids. We need to see black and brown skateboarding kids. We need to see new designs for characters and skate crews who can make challenges and befriend the Wild Grinders. If kids are going to watch the TV series, they deserve to feel seen because Wild Grinders make more celebrities and adults in the cast where they don’t do a lot. (Unless it’s Lil’ Rob’s mom. She contributes more to the story than the actual antagonists).

Anyways, we need better development for the main and reoccurring cast. But we need to see a diversity of skateboarders as well to create unique plots and encourage character development by having them interact with the Wild Grinders. I’m tired from writing all of this in one shot, but it’s sincerely tiring that the script writers wrote everything the way it is in the TV series.

Apologies if any part of this analysis feels rushed or incomplete, it’s the week of finals and my brain isn’t working (and threw off everything I was supposed to write about the analysis). To the few people reading this, thank you and hope that this enhances the brainrot. Feedback is very appreciated on my end.

#wild grinders #my post #text #feel free to send asks after reading

[sageshadowed]

(hey @light-imperfected—careful. you'll leave cracks for the shadows to crawl in.)

There's a stranger in Gabriel's room and he's petting Curry.

It's evening. The angel's had a vaguely annoying day at work. Some churchgoer had lingered to argue with the suit of armor about his belief in their twin gods. He had not wanted to talk about it. So now, without thinking, he draws a sword and demands, "who are you?"

The stranger looks up.

For a moment Gabriel thinks, Monkey King?, and heat (embarrassingly) floods his face, but that's not right. Gabriel hadn't heard of any other weird talking monkeys on the island. This guy has a very strong resemblance, though, if Monkey King had abruptly swerved into having an emo stage.

"The name's Macaque, angel."

This last word drenched in sarcastic venom, nothing like the way Monkey King says it. Gabriel does not want to deal with this right now. "Get out."

Macaque laughs. "Yeah, I'll be out of your"—his mouth quirks—"metaphorical hair in a moment."

"Do not break into my house just to mock me, monkey." He's tired. Curry untangles herself from Macaque and comes to greet him, so Gabriel sheathes his sword with a sigh, shakes his head, and picks her up, touching the jut of his helmet to the top of her head. He decides, with some effort, that he doesn't want to clean blood off his floor today. "It's a quick way to get yourself killed. Especially among those of us who aren't native here."

Been there, done that, Macaque doesn't quip, oblivious to Gabriel's own familiarity with dying. Ignoring the warning, he stands. (Same height as Monkey King, Gabriel thinks.) "I hear you've captured Sun Wukong's heart."

…is that Monkey King? It's not hard to make the connection. Gabriel hadn't thought to poke further, fully prepared to believe that he was just called that. In retrospect, it does sound like a title rather than a proper name.

"You're the right guy, yeah? Sometimes he goes by Monkey King?" Macaque tilts his head at Gabriel's silence. "The Great Sage Equal to Heaven? Y'know, the monkey demon freak? Depends on what language you speak."

"He's not a d—" Well, the thought's crossed his mind before, but Gabriel's never met a demon as—mmm. Mhm. Yeah, he's not finishing that sentence. Also, equal to heaven? Half of him thinks it's funny that Monkey King would commit light blasphemy (seems pretty in character, honestly). The other half is a bit horrified.

Macaque raises his eyebrows. Damn, Wukong hadn't told him anything at all. Not unlike him, but still, you'd think.

"We aren't dating," Gabriel finishes instead, blushing more furiously.

"I see how often you come around, angel," Macaque says, scowling. 天啊，this guy's such a mess. "Thing is, Wukong's taken. You may be a celestial, but you're new to whatever's going on here. Stay out of it."

"What're you going to do? Make me?" His face doesn't show emotion, but his voice betrays his annoyance.

The shadows shift very slightly, uncannily. Curry squirms out of his arms to leap under the bed. Macaque grins, blind eye pale and gleaming.

"You may have been here for longer than me," he says. "But I don't choose fights I can't win."

Gabriel scoffs. "We'll see about that."

"What, and then I'll be just another monster for you to cut down?—If that's the case, get away from Monkey King. He doesn't need another celestial to mess with him." With us, he almost says. Himself, Wukong, Flower Fruit Mountain, MK, Mei, their various allies. Macaque wishes Wukong would stop fraternizing with people like this, although the politics of the celestial are (he's assuming) much different here—it's still uncanny how he can be so buddy-buddy with people who'd put them in god prison (again!!) the moment they stepped out of line.

"Why would you be anything but, demon? You're the one who broke in here."

And of course Gabriel's no exception—someone else determined to write the same stories over and over. Can't escape it even here. Macaque scoffs. "We've known each other forever. I know him better than anyone." He lets the silence hang for a beat before continuing,

"Don't get too cozy with him, Gabriel. You don't know what he's like—not even a fraction of what he's done. He won't love you. And even if he does it'll only get you hurt."

Something between jealousy and bitterness in his voice. What did he even mean to Wukong if he could be replaced by the weirdest loser of an angel Macaque's ever met? He likes to imagine Wukong's got better taste than that.

Gabriel puts his hands on his hips. "It's none of your business what happens between us, and I'll consort with whoever I please. Now get out of my house."

Macaque sighs. A portal opens below his feet, and he falls into the darkness, vanishing.

Gabriel exhales sharply, unclipping his swords from his belt and flopping onto the bed. He opens his phone to text Monkey King (Wukong?) before hesitating and closing it again. How do you tell someone that their ex (?) showed up uninvited to tell you how much they suck? Curry jumps up to demand more attention, and Gabriel acquiesces.

"Next time you're supposed to bite the strangers who break into the house," he chides her gently. Curry, who doesn't care, purrs. He scritches her head and tries not to think about what the macaque told him. About how he doesn't know Monkey King (the Great Sage?) at all, really. Is he supposed to care? Does Monkey King want that? He doesn't seem really forthcoming about any of it. Can he ask? Angels weren't made for this kind of thing. How could he imagine he could— do it?

It takes a while for Gabriel to notice that the origami monkey he'd kept on his desk (from that whole dessert shop fiasco) is gone. Across the city, Macaque thinks about crushing it, hesitates, tucks it into a shadowy corner of a shelf. And maybe he can imagine it was for him.

#light-imperfected #<- who the fuck is this #drabble #closed #for anyone eagerly awaiting the horrible love triangle i've set up for myself: tadaa #sorry im posting this on macaque's blog but it starts gabe pov lol

[burtonbabygirlguster]

how comfortable i would feel with different stranger things characters

Argyle

8/10

he would be 10/10 but i’d be scared he’d mention what i’ve told him when he was high

i’ve got no idea if being high works like that tho???

but i’d be panicking very hard

like he’s probably use my preferred name instead of my deadname and i’d be like 🧍

would offer me weed to help with my skin picking problems or my mouth pain

fuck you braces and nails

Robin

10/10

we can ramble to each other :)

my best moments with my friends is of us rambling to each-other and getting off topic every other sentence

she’s very funny we could laugh about anything it’d be great

and i’m also queer so like..yeah, gay people flock together type shit

Eddie

6.5/10

the cafeteria scene scared me, i’d constantly think he’s about to..like..jump on my sandwich

also he’s too extroverted for me im sorry

i can’t handle that type of attention anywhere near me

he’d probably look at what i was drawing or something and show everyone 🧍

and i’ve got too much anxiety for that soooo…

Steve

7.5/10

i can’t really explain in

like, yes, i’d be comfortable, but constantly tense, expecting something, at the same time

like i said, can’t really explain it, sorry lmfao

Jonathan

13/10

would make me feel good about myself

between my fashion, music, general interests, being trans and gay, i’d be the Hawkins high punching bag

i already was at my middle school some? like nothing physical but constant shit, it was this group of kids constantly coming over to the tree i hung by and shouting slurs and jesus blah blah

plus the usual barking and being called emo in the halls

anyway

he could tell when i’m about to have a breakdown, whatever i’m feeling honestly

the only person i think i’d EVER be comfortable sharing how i actually feel with

he would never judge me

i think he’d like my stupidity and chaos, i usually get really insecure about it but he’d be nice :))

the only way i can interact with a movie/show is to vocally talk about it and my family (reasonably) gets mad but i think he’d enjoy hearing what i think and how i perceive whatever we’d be watching

even outside of movies, they don’t really like hearing me ramble or talk

and if one person did like it, another one would interrupt and they’d forget about me

even my general family issues, he’d be there to listen, and relate on a lot

i also love photography so we could have fun with that!!!

overall he’d be the biggest comfort ever

Nancy

2/10

i’m sorry but i wouldn’t be all that comfortable

i think the biggest thing was how she treated robin

and since i act like robin with the rambling and such, i really think she would not like me

opposite of Jonathan

she’d only get annoyed and i feel like she’d just act like my family when it comes to how i express myself, and would make me feel like shit

maybe she’d actually be really cool once i got to know her

but everything that the shows given me is her pushing away barb, the love triangle, being rude to robin, and supernatural stress, so not quite sure :p

Jason

-3/10

i don’t even need to explain

i would be called slurs and beat up

he was ready to break Gareths fingers

which i guess me just being casual vs him hunting a guy are definitely different situations

but i feel like he’d break something

i’d definitely be a suspect of joint murder forces with eddie lmfao

Billy

-3/10

same thing with jason

but pretty sure he’d also body-shame me

unless if we were around people

but still -3/10

Will

12/10

Same thing as Jonathan

but i’m closer to wills age so i think it’d be better :)

plus he at least used to play with legos and i fucking love legos

also we could draw DnD characters together!!

he’s gonna love my literal dragonborn himbo that wears sunglasses

i’d love to be in a byers-hopper family campaign with him :))

gays flock together again

Lucas

11/10

he’s super duper fucking nice and would always be considerate of everything

would not judge me

except in a funny way

he could help me out if i ever had relationship issues

he can climb trees i think? i feel like he climbed one in season one or two

if he can, i’d love to go tree climbing with him

i used to play basketball so we could play together!!

he’s awesome

Dustin

8/10

i can’t really explain why he’s only 8

i would, however, love to go and open curiosity doors and do random shit

i’m gonna train demodogs with him

would love to tease steve with him

El

8/10

nothing really special, just chill :)

again, would love to do a whole family campaign

i’d like making fun presentations with her like she did for the school project

would enjoy doing stuff like how she and max did, i love clothes shopping, because i can express myself- and that was the whole point for her clothes shopping!

i’d absolutely love to do that with her :))

Max

7.3/10

would maybe make fun of me a little bit?

sometimes in a funny friend way but sometimes in an actual way

i don’t think i’d be able to tell which is which so i’d be sad each time🧍

would love being chaotic with her and torturing mike (i’m sorry mike)

pulling pranks on everyone definitely

Mike

depends which season

1-2 is 10/10

3-4 is slowly declining…

i’m very childish (although i am a child so doesn’t really count) and i love doing thing how will does, and i’d too, be asking to play

would feel the worst feeling if he ever yelled at me like he did to will :(

although that’s on byler drama, so he wouldn’t yell at me like that

would make me feel both appreciated and highly judged

it switches every day honestly

but season 1-2 would be great <3

after he gets his byler drama sorted out he’d be back to 10/10

Erica

depends if she’s insulting me or not

but if she’s insulting me then i probably did something first so it’d be my fault

but overall she’d be super cool to hang with!

and she’s super smart- if i pay her, maybe she’ll do my math homework 😭

i haven’t nt watched my little pony in years (and obviously not the 80s one she watched) but i think i’d watch it so we could talk bout it

and talk with dustin too about it

cause he watches my little pony too

Joyce

6/10

As great a mom as she is, she barley ever payed attention to Jonathan

like, never

i would trust her to save me, yeah, absolutely, she’d do anything

but like i said with Jonathan..

overall though i suppose really good, she’d be fun to hang out with

Jim

4.5/10

dudes SCARY

yells too much

i’m generally spooked by older people, especially older men sooo yeah 🧍

that wouldn’t help

would constantly feel like a disappointment even if that’s not what he wanted

every so often a really good moment

maybe a heart to heart that’d boost him up a few numbers

Murray

4/10

as funny as he is, if he started talking about my relationship, i’d punch him

not actually i’m a coward but i’d mentally punch him

if he never talked about relationships then he could be a good 8/10 or something

nothing too special even then, just casual

Bob

9/10

gets -1 point because old men scare me lmfao

other than that i’d love to play his brain games and learn about the radios and such

great guy :((

would love to have him as an uncle :))

would like to listen to me ramble!

he jon and i can have camera sessions

Owens

7/10

again, -1 point for old man

but specifically during season four i kinda wished i had a dad a lil bit like him

i think the food got to me

and him trying to go against brenner

“kiddo” hit me hard

would not enjoy in the other seasons tho, no trust, thus no comfort at all

Mr Clark

9/10

once more, -1 for old man

but he’s super nice to the kids 😭

and always helps them solve the Upsidedown mystery of the year

where was he this season????

only teacher i could actually go up to and ask for help

would LOVE to have him as a dad

he’d also definitely enjoy to hear my ramblings, especially if they’ve got anything to do with science

i ramble about time travel and mythological creatures a lot (especially dragons and how they would have been) and i’d think he’d enjoy ny special interests of curiosity doors

Alexi

9/10

would love to go to the fair with him and get all the stuffed animals

and watch cartoons and eat slushes i think it’d be great fun

wanna have murray deal with both of us

harhar the old man will never know what hit him

#stranger things #st4 #argyle #robin buckly #eddie munson #steve harrington #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #jason carver #billy hargrove #will byers #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #el hopper #max mayfeild #mike wheeler #erica sinclair #joyce byers #jim hopper #murray bouman #bob newby #sam owens #scott clarke #alexi smirnoff

[aswrm]

Norman Brannon’s essay from Negatives by Amy Fleisher Madden

Text below

By the time I moved back to New York after a three-year stint in Oakland in 2004, the gap between what we now call second and third wave emo had become truly pronounced. Texas Is the Reason -the band whose name will be seemingly affixed to mine forever-had only disbanded seven years earlier, but it was already clear that a curious mystique around who we were had developed in the interim.

The reason for this is obvious now: Our entire two-and-a-half-year existence completely predated the social internet. Which is to say that if you wanted to be a Texas Is the Reason fan in 2004, your primary source of research wasn't going to be Google, YouTube, or Wikipedia. It was going to be the physical records we released, whatever blurry (and often black-and-white) band photos we used for album artwork or press, the few dozen interviews we did for out-of-print fanzines, or maybe, if you were lucky, a fuzzy VHS concert tape transferred to DVD.

We had no choice but to be "enigmatic."

Of course, we, as humans, almost instinctively hate ambiguity. And our steadfast refusal to live with ambiguity, to truly accept it, more often than not compels us to fill in the blanks, to make up our own stories, to draw our own pictures. Some of these pictures may be "true enough." But many of the ideas we generate in the pursuit and creation of "knowing" often contain significant details that derive from the shared assumptions of a frequently centered majority. They reflect our stubborn insistence that the things we feel most connected with somehow must resemble a dominant, and there-fore, familiar image.

So I bring up 2004 because of the time I met a younger Texas Is the Reason fan through some mutual friends during that cross-country move, And I bring up the "mystique around who we were" because that random introduction actually marked the first time l'd ever considered that younger fans

of the band during that time might have no idea what we looked like. And I mention "the shared assumptions of a frequently centered majority" because a few days after that meeting, I was directed to this younger fan's Live Journal, Where, after writing up an otherwise pleasant recap of our lunch, the young man concluded, apropos of literally nothing: "I never knew Norm wasn't Caucasian.

It was kind of a shock."

"Quick-close your eyes and tell me about the first person you see when you imagine a 'punk.'

Are they Black? Queer? Female?

Gender-nonconforming?"

Before you judge, quick-close your eyes and tell me about the first person you see when you imagine a "punk." Are they Black? Queer? Female?

Gender-nonconforming? Or are they white, male, and cisgender? Don't feel bad. We all know how this exercise typically ends.

Which is why I can truly say I was not at all mad when I read my new friend's LiveJournal entry.

If anything, those two sentences, which had been composed with such matter-of-fact clarity, were something of an awakening to me. They showed me how seemingly innocuous (and yet ever-insidious) our assumptions of whiteness can be. Despite having played in hardcore bands for over ten years by that point, I was really only just beginning to wres tle with my life as a musician who is also a queer person of color, struggling to define myself outside of whiteness. And maybe for the first time, it occurred to me that in my misguided need to fulfill the more socially noble role of being "a musician who just happens to be gay and Latino"-as opposed to being a proud gay and Latino musician-/ was actively playing a part in my own erasure. Without knowing it, my new friend had simply highlighted a fact about the way in which unchecked assumptions often go on to become indelible parts of our cultural memory-and how that same cultural memory, once established, is then paradoxically deployed as "proof" for those earlier unchecked assumptions. How else could my brown skin be

"a shock" to anyone if not for a completely whitewashed conception of what emo (or hardcore, for that matter) looks like? Knowing this has changed literally everything about the way I navigate my identity in the public sphere.

But that was then and this is now, right? Surely the modern power of Google has eased our ambiguity blues!

"And if you believe most of the documented histories that trace emo's origins back to 1985, when the punk scene in Washington, DC, declared a 'Revolution Summer,' then why don't we ever talk about Amy Pickering from Fire Party?"

I want to tell you that so much has changed, and if it weren't for a Buzzfeed headline from June of

2020-published a full sixteen years after that Live Journal entry-maybe I could. Because when I read "Pete Wentz Is Trending on Twitter Because Many People Are Just Finding Out He's Biracial," my past suddenly became prologue.

It was kind of a shock.

Whatever rationale I used to dismiss the general lack of knowledge about Texas Is the Reason in 2004 simply did not apply to Fall Out Boy in 2020.

By then, we had already lived with fifteen years of Pete Wentz's face being plastered all over print and digital media. His band had been packing arenas and stadiums all over the world. Their music videos were ever-reliable multimillion streamers for YouTube. In fact, Fall Out Boy's undying success is perhaps one of the reasons why a book like the one you are holding is able to exist. And yet our assumptions of whiteness are still so embedded in the cultural psyche that, when it came to Wentz's experience as a biracial man, we saw people actu ally refusing to believe their own eyes and ears.

The idea of punk and emo as a white-dominant space had become so entrenched in our imaginations that a simple confirmation of one man's Blackness was enough to send Twitter into a frenzy.

I get it, Pete.

That's why, when I was asked to write something for this book, I knew almost right away that I would have to make a point about emo that most visual histories documenting this scene-and the wider punk and hardcore communities that came before it-have failed to properly capture from a collection of images alone. Because while a majority of the most popular and recognizable voices in emo and post-hardcore do in fact belong to straight, cis-gender, white men, there is and always has been a plurality of invaluable contributions to this scene from women, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ folks. And far too often, many of these sometimes groundbreaking pioneers have been unfairly sidelined, if not redacted from the historical record.

When it comes to emo's origin story, for example, there are valid questions we need to be asking.

For one thing, could emo have even been called into existence without the arrival of Zen Arcade by Hüsker Du - the 80s melodic punk trio whose Bob Mould and Grant Hart are both queer men? And if you believe most of the documented histories that trace emo's origins back to 1985, when the punk scene in Washington, DC, declared a "Revolution Summer," then why don't we ever talk about Amy Pickering from Fire Party, the woman who literally coined that phrase and, by all accounts, worked tirelessly to galvanize that summer into being? Also, why do we seem to gloss over the fact that the entire first wave of emo that came forth from Revolution Summer was decidedly multiracial? Its extremely influential ranks included Fire Party's Nicky Thomas, Kenny Inouye from Marginal Man, Scream's Skeeter Thompson, and Shawn Brown of Dag Nasty (and later, Swiz), to name a few.

Of course, the work did not end there. Emo's second and third waves, which make up the substance of the book you are holding - and whose alumni include both Pete Wentz and myself-continued to give rise to an abundance of female, BIPOC, and LGBTO+ talent. Queer and trans musicians like Jason Gnewikow of The Promise Ring, Kaia Fischer of Rainer Maria, Steve Pedulla of Thursday, Vanessa Downing of Junction and Samuel, Pete Moffett of Burning Airlines, and the late Sarah Kirsch of Fuel and Torches to Rome have all played significant roles in defining the genre. BIPOC artists- including the majority of At the Drive-In, Victor Villarreal from Cap'n Jazz, Teppei Teranishi of Thrice, Jeremy

Gomez of Mineral, The Van Pelt's Toko Yasuda, Coheed and Cambria's Claudio Sanchez, Taking Back Sunday's Eddie Reyes, and Longineu "LP" Parsons III from Yellowcard, among others- have all stitched a diverse range of experience into the fabric of what eventually became emo's breakthrough into the mainstream. And the singular contributions from so many women of these eras simply cannot be overlooked - including celebrated artists like Caithlin De Marrais from Rainer Maria, Kim Coletta from Jawbox, Elizabeth Elmore of Sarge, Jejune's Araby Harrison, Tracy Wilson of Dahlia Seed, Pohgoh's Susie Richardson, Hayley Williams of Paramore, The Anniversary's Adrianne Verhoeven, and Shift's Samantha Maloney (who actually went on to play drums for both Hole and Mötley Crüe).

I am not even scratching the surface here.

No one book can do everything. But in using this space to share my story here-and in turn, telling our story to the best extent that my time and memory will allow-I hope not so much to "correct" the public record as I do to make sure that the existing record is more vivid, more rich, more complete, and ultimately, more true. Every time emo is reduced to the trope of "the sad white boy crying over a girl," countless scores of us are not only pushed to the margins, but quite literally pushed off the page.

To write these words here and now is to make sure those assumptions no longer go unchecked. It is to say, We are here. We have always been here. We will always be here.

#norman brannon #texas is the reason #negatives #amy fleisher madden

[enjoyyourdunghillbaal]

Go see a fucking doctor then you fucking cunt. Why should my life suffer because your psycho-bitch muffia-princess ass can't put your goddamn cell phone down? Every problem you have would not exist if you were not harassing somebody online. No cellphone. No fucking head case. Go away cunt.

Why should I drown in your bullshit misery because you don't want to get help? Because of some emo-bitch that wants to latch on like a pit-bull and cuddle and baby-talk and draw with crayons as your your autistic non-binary "Little" fetish bullshit until you die?

What else are you hiding? a crack cocaine habit? A meth habit? Rave drugs? An animal abuse habit? Who do you take your anger and hidden sadism out upon? When somebody makes you cry, who do you turn evil on to make yourself feel better cunt?

Do you ever think about who you might be hurting with your mystical practices? Or do you just fire off at random, not giving a shit about who might be in the line of fire?

What drug habits are you hiding behind your "inner child"? Do you practice the art of lying and deception with those you leech the life out of behind the guise of your non binary autistic fuckwit "innocent" Lolita bullshit?

Who the fuck would want you?

I don't care if you like me. You are a future prison sentence for me. This is what I have to look forward to if I ever have to live or coexist with you as a roomate or intimate partner. It never ends, there's no talking to you. You just want somebody to knock the fucking stutter, and broken record bullshit out of your cunt ass and stick their dick in you to make you shut the fuck up.

And look at your own "daddy", he refuses to discipline your dysfunctional cunt ass. Because he "loves" you so you become an even bigger nightmare for anybody you decide to cling to.

It's against the law to beat you as much as you might need it, ( all it took was one backhand without warning or word to the face to shut us up when i was a kid and we fought between siblings) and I would die or spend my life in prison if I had to live with you as my partner.

This isn't the person I am, and it isn't who I want to be, what gives you the right to try and make me into this person? I never asked for you, or your companionship, I never asked for anybody's companionship. You can't make somebody love you, or be in love with you. You sure know how to play with love spells to make somebody fucking hate you though.

Get the fuck away from me troublemaking cunt.

[eddiemunsonfanfic]

If you follow me from main blog you know that recently I became a teacher (high school). Another teacher my age sent me a half joking text.

"Have you seen how there are not metalheads anymore?? Worrying. Something should be done."

And he's right! When we were at school there were metalheads always (or maybe they were us lol) but I've been to 5 schools in a year (sub teacher life) and never spotted one (maybe the fashion is different now?) All you'll see are emos/goths and not that many anymore, your lucky if you spot one.

We need Eddie Munsons roaming wild around school!

I might be a teacher but I still get nervous when groups of both popular students/teachers judge me in their head lol (seriously, the teachers room has the same gossip and subgroups and bullshit than the students classrooms, but I've gotten lucky with the new one.) it's like it triggers memories or something.

I also have a lot of thoughts and feelings about "going back to school" as teacher now after being a kid who struggled, used to fail, got bullied, but still was better off at school than dealing with shit at her home. But I won't bore you with that 😅

I've gotten soo lucky with the groups I'm teaching this year (the oldest ones), I'm a mess of a teacher, I'm still myself and can't pretend otherwise so I'm very awkward, and rambly and nerdy, and sometimes that plays against me as a teacher, specially in the younger groups, but the students this year are so nice to me, I wish I didn't have to leave when their actual teacher comes back.

Also one of them has a backpack with cats drawings and the sentence "I love my boyfriend cats" and I need one lol.

Sorry for the umprompted rambles, I'm sick at bed and bored but can't really bring the laptop to write while lying down.

[lonelyvomit]

joel is a sexy emo vampire moomin. i never thought i would put sexy and moomin in the same sentence.

I need to draw this

#asks

[makarovspussy]

it's so strange seeing the way people talk about Ghost ngl...like specifically about his shyness/introversion and his general behavior/demeanor around other people. everything about him SCREAMS that's he's traumatized and deeply fucking troubled, his whole demeanor and outward persona is very obviously putting distance between him and other people in a way intentionally crafted to make himself as off putting and scary as possible and yet y'all act like he's just a sad shy uwu emo sexyboy who just needs some good dick/hole and he'll be fine...

like tbh at this point I'm over the babygirlification of Ghost because none of y'all know how to behave. like it's one thing to draw fun fanart and kiki and have a good time with your blorbos on the Internet. like I'm the nigga who drew fucking CATBOY MAKAROV like yassified terrorists is my internet niche. I'm not mad about that. what makes my ass itch is when y'all are so fucking obtuse about this man. and if we're keeping it a buck some of y'all sound like the sweaty cod fanboys in that y'all completely and almost intentionally miss the point of Ghost's entire character. and y'all know it's bad when MY ass comes on here writing a post longer than 5 sentences about some fucking PIXELS y'all got me SICK

#personal #if you're reading this it's not about u I block people who annoy me