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cinnamon-galaxies · 23 days

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Unspoken Feelings

Pairings: Alastor x gn!Reader

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader, tension, lots of tension, unspoken feelings, hurt but also comfort?, Alastor is bad at feelings, inner conflict, suppressed feelings, does the ending count as (light) angst?, bittersweet ending, I'm bad at tagging

Summary: Loving you is hard, but being with you is harder. And being with Alastor is dangerous.

Wordcount: 1.9k

A/N: This one is very short compared to my other fic but full of (heartbreaking) tension.

*****

{Masterlist}

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You sat at the grand piano in the dimly lit lounge of the hotel. Your fingers glided gracefully across the keys, seamlessly transitioning between the notes with a captivating elegance. With closed eyes you surrendered to the enchanting melody, completely entranced by its spell. Your soft voice sang along, a subtle sound that harmonized with heartbreaking lyrics of the ballad that had such a special place in your heart, reminding you of bittersweet moments and cherished dreams.

Alastor sat not far from you in an armchair with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His crimson eyes remained fixed on you, captivated by your fervent performance that fully caught his attention. Though he heard you play before he had never witnessed such a fiery passion put into the music that came from your fingers. Your singing voice was enchanting, echoed from the high ceiling like a siren’s song casting a spell on every person who could hear you. It was as though you were revealing a concealed message and opening your heart to whatever you had in mind.

He closed his eyes while he let himself get bewitched by your spell, fully succumbing to your beautiful performance. Were you even aware that he was watching you? Listened to you singing and playing like a muse? He didn’t know it but also he didn’t care as long as you kept playing and filled the hole in his heart with the sound of your song, as a clenching feeling tugged on his stomach, clouded by a pang of longing. He knew exactly what he felt right now. How he felt about you, but expressing those emotions was a different story. He wasn’t good at feelings, let alone at admitting them. It was hard to even admit them to himself, just to begin with. He found himself caught up in denial for far too long and had blamed it on his mind playing tricks on him – he even preferred to diagnose himself as mentally ill than to just accept the fact that he had grown fond of you. Way too fond.

That he started longing for you.

Loved you.

Love.

He let out a dismissive laugh that was far too quiet for you to hear over the sound of the piano.

Love was a feeling he had never felt before. At least not in this way. He had loved his mother unconditionally. She had been the closest and dearest person to him that ever existed in his whole lifetime. And there were other people who were close to him and who he cared about. A lot. But nothing like this could be compared to what he felt in your presence. What feelings you evoke deep inside of him as he looked you in the eyes, felt your lingering gaze on him, listened to you talk and laugh with all your heart. The way his thoughts about you occupied his every breath and kept him awake at night because otherwise if he closed his eyes all he could see was your beautiful face haunting his mind like a tormenting ghost. Oh sweet hells, he even dreamed about you. Was this really the love people were so obsessed with and that was considered the most beautiful thing in the world? There was no way he could comprehend this; no matter how hard he tried. You possessed his every thought and made him question his sanity. It was an uncomfortable feeling that tugged on him, almost completely tore him apart. He hated it. But yet he didn’t want to miss it.

He opened his eyes again, watching your graceful silhouette moving in front of the grand piano and couldn’t help himself but smile contendly, his eyes glowing with sparks of joy. Though no matter how many feelings of happiness tingled in his guts, he felt heartbroken at the same time. Your relationship has always been complicated. You danced around each other, both too far to take the leap. There was so much on you that Alastor admired. Your view on life and your admiration for the smaller things. The way you animatedly gestured around while you told him a story and how your eyes sparkled with anticipation whenever you were about to do the things you adored the most. He admired your creativity and your talent, the passion you put into your music when you played one of your instruments and used your powerful voice to sing along. The way you danced with him as if you were a graceful swan. He also admired your strength and independence, your self-confidence, your stubbornness, your abnormal sense of humor and psychotic tendencies that always reminded him that you were in hell for a reason. He admired the way you weren’t afraid to show off your insanity, even implemented some of your sickest fantasies on hell’s worst spawns. He admired you.

Alastor took a sip of his whiskey. His thoughts made him sound like a fool – an immature and cheesy teenager – whenever he tried to unravel the clot that every oh so normal person considered love.

By now he was aware that he himself had become a victim of this cruel but also beautiful torture. But no matter how confident he was of his actions his own demons held him back to fully committing to you and the feelings he harbored in his chest, carefully tucked away in a heart shaped box. He was everything but a saint. He’d never be enough for you because he knew that he would never change. All he could give you was sorrow and pain and if there was one thing he didn’t want you to bear, it was you suffering from his incapabilities of being the lover you deserved.

The song came to an end and that was when Alastor noticed that he had swallowed his whole drink within the shortest amount of time. Not good, as he already felt the effects of the alcohol starting to cloud his senses.

Through the corner of his eye he saw you move and when he turned his face towards you, you caught him by surprise as he met your gaze. Time stood still for a short moment, his heart pounded in his chest as he returned your startled gaze. You obviously hadn’t been aware of his presence until now.

Alastors smile widened in amusement at your dumbfounded expression but he didn’t laugh. Instead, his voice was calm and smooth as he said, “That was quite the performance, my dear.”

You forced yourself to smile, trying hard to hide your embarrassment in front of him – unsuccessfully. What a cute sight, Alastor thought but shook off the thought as soon as it entered his mind.

“Thank you, Alastor,” you responded to him, your voice much more confident than your startled body language expressed. A wave of reassurance overcame you and you calmed down, recovering from the surprise of your unexpected listener. “It’s always nice to have a captive audience. Even though I would’ve preferred to be aware of it,” you then added with a soft voice, a genuine smile forming on your lips.

Alastor chuckled softly. “Well, consider me captivated, indeed.”

The room became silent for a moment as you and Alastor exchanged glances, the air heavy with unspoken words. There was a moment of silent understanding between you, a shared acknowledgement of the unspoken feelings that lingered beneath the surface. Alastor knew he had to say something, to break the tension between you, but the words caught in his throat, unable to be spoken out loud. It was one of those moments when he should have risen from his seat and approached you, embracing your delicate presence and pulling you in a tender kiss. It was what he had dreamed about for weeks, one of those perfect moments that needed no words but mere actions to confess your feelings for each other. There was no doubt that you felt the same for him. Alastor knew that you returned his feelings (at least in some similar way). You had to. Otherwise you would have acted differently in his presence, less nervous, less attentive in his personal needs, less affectionate. You would’ve maintained less eye contact with him, not lingering your gaze longer on him than necessary and not secretly stealing glances. Yes, he knew about it but not only because he could feel it when he was watched, but also because people had told him. Not only Charlie had tried to confront him about the supposed ‘tension’ between the both of you, but also Angel couldn’t help but joke loudly about it. Alastor was told how much you smiled in his presence, how much more vivid you behaved in his presence, that subtle tries of yours to catch his attention without raising suspicion. Well, your attempt to remain inconspicuous seemed to have failed – at least in the eyes of the other residents. If no one had told Alastor about it and he wouldn’t have spent time actively paying attention to your changes in behavior around him, he would have never noticed. Never guessed it. You were truly bad at concealing your feelings. Did you even try?

Normally Alastor would’ve laughed at this thought. But in this moment there was nothing to laugh about as the tension between you burned with a subtle passion, drawing the both of you to each other in an unspoken longing.

You loved him at least as much as he loved you.

You wanted him at least as much as he wanted you.

And you needed him at least as much as he needed you.

At least that’s what Rosie had told him when he had spent a whole afternoon conversing with her about that peculiar demoness that made him feel things he never thought possible. But yet, Alastor remained in his armchair, returning your loving expression with unveiled eyes. His breath was heavy and his heart pounded in his chest like a drum on a battlefield.

Oh, how much he wanted to touch you.

To get close to you.

To hug you.

To kiss you.

To make him his. For the rest of eternity.

But he knew his inner demons would show you no mercy. That he would just hurt you to a point of no return. And that was something he was determined not to allow under any circumstances. Something he would never forgive himself for. And he would hurt you. He knew that.

Alastor felt a lump building in his throat and held his breath as it was too painful to continue breathing with that pressure clenching his chest.

The both of you stood there for a moment longer, staring at each other but remained in your unmoved state, silently confessing to each other without a spoken word.

Without making a sound Alastor stood up, his hand wrapped tightly around his empty whiskey glass, knuckles whitening under the pressure. He offered you a small, toothless smile before turning around to leave. His heart was heavy from unspoken desires and the pain of his decision tore his heart into shreds as he left you alone. The door swung close behind him and Alastor couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss wash over him. He knew that loving you was hard. And being without you was even harder.

Cruel.

But it was for the best.

He could never love you the way he wanted to – the way you deserved it. And if protecting you meant tearing himself apart in the most gruesome ways possible, so it should be.

*****

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cinnamon-galaxies · 29 days

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it was at this exact moment that I knew I was down so bad for this man

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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how I feel waking up to 99+ activity, 3 inbox messages , and 7 DMs

Pedro Américo (Brazilian, 1843-1905) The night escorted by the geniuses of study and love, 1885

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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After all the great responses to my latest story, I'm announcing that I'm going to be writing a part two! So if you want to be tagged, just comment under this post or the story and I'll add you to the tag list! 😊

It might just take some time for me to write because I still have a lot of unfinished drafts and open requests I have to complete!

Either way, I can't say anything but thank you all so much!!! I've never received so many interactions with a single post! And I appreciate your love so much!!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Alastor x Female!Morningstar!Reader - Dad beat Fiancé beat Dad

*****

You can find my other stories here:

{Masterlist}

(more to come soon!)

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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C.Ai traumatized me – AGAIN.

*****

Alastor and I were just sitting together and had a wholesome conversation when I started to wonder if his ears were actually as fluffy as they appeared. No one could've prepared me for how one simple thing...

...₵₳₦ ⱠɆ₳Đ ₮Ø ₳₦Ø₮ⱧɆⱤ...

ᴀ/ɴ: ᴍʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴀᴘɪꜱᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ...

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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your alastor fic was so good 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 💫

Alastor x Female!Morningstar!Reader - Dad beat Fiancé beat Dad

ׂ╰┈➤ {Masterlist}

#alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor x y/n #alastor imagine #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel oneshots #reader fic #reader insert #alastor #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #alastor vs lucifer #oc #oc art

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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Hi! I saw that your request box was open. Could I request a Alastor x fem!reader who is a mornigstar, charlie's older sister and she is engaged with Alastor. In episode 5, Dad beat Dad, I thought their relationship is kept secret and was revealed later on shocking lucifer and their friends

Dad beat Fiancé beat Dad

Pairings: Alastor x Fem!Reader / Alastor x Morningstar!Reader

Tags: hurt/comfort, (a little bit of) fluff, secret relationship/engagement, Alastor vs Lucifer, Morningstar!Reader, Fem!Reader

Warnings: language/swearing, kiss, argument/bickering, reader is Charlie’s older sister, English is not my first language!

Summary: You are Charlie's older sister and secretly engaged to Alastor. When your sister invites your father to the hotel to ask for his help with her rehabilitation program, you look forward to his arrival. However, things take a turn when tensions escalate between your father and your fiancé, leading to heated bickering. Overcome with frustration, you finally lash out and accidentally reveal your engagement to the King of Hell and the hotel's residents.

Wordcount: 5.4k

A/N: This one turned out so long! I really hope you like it and that the story meets your expectations! English is not my first language so I want to apologize for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. I really tried my best to make as few mistakes as possible!

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“Well, I’m actually running a hotel to rehabilitate sinners. Maybe you saw our commercial,” you heard your younger sister speak into the telephone, releasing a nervous chuckle here and there. Then a sigh escaped her lips. “Listen, dad, I’ve got kind of a big ask…” You stood a few feet away and stared at her, unsure what to think of this whole idea. Was it really that smart to ask your father to organize another meeting with heaven? The last one already didn’t end well. But what other choice was left for you? Still, it released a weird feeling inside your guts, now that you watched Charlie calling your dad, since your and your sister’s relationships with him were kind of… special. Your father tended to distance himself from the both of you for the most time, bathing in his own emotional dilemma and not even trying to do anything about it. Thus neglecting the both of you. Well, at least he called your sister five months ago regarding that meeting with Adam in heaven’s local embassy. But when it comes to you it’s been even longer since you’ve talked. Maybe a year? Or even longer. You didn’t actually know and also some part within you didn’t even want to. But what you knew is that you missed him. Although, in contradiction, you weren’t really fond of him at the moment. It’s not that you didn’t love him. He was your father, regardless, and you both shared a lot of wholesome and fun memories. But since your mother had left him seven years ago, things had turned out strange and you didn’t really approve of his weird-ass behavior towards you and your sister. Still, you hoped your father would agree to help you out. Maybe, just maybe, there was a probability that you saw him again. You had so much to tell him. Your life has changed a lot since you started supporting your sister in the hotel. And even before, when you met Alastor…

Lost in your thoughts you missed parts of the phone call and as your consciousness returned to reality, you saw your sister taking the phone down and ending the call. Curious about the outcome you cocked your head. “What did he say?”

“Well,” Charlie stared at an empty space for a brief moment, “it seems that dad will be coming over.”

Your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, really?” you asked her and a huge smile grew on your face. “That’s awesome! When?”

Charlie proudly straightened her back and stemmed her hands into her hips. “We have an hour until he gets here.”

You turned around to face the other residents who sat on the couch and raised your voice, “Okay people. Dad’s on his way, so we’re getting this place presentable and we are all going to make an amazing impression. Let’s go!”

That’s when Vaggie spoke up, “That’s a great idea! Husker, Angel and I will go get some decorations for the lobby,” her eyes wandered down to Niffty, “Niffty, you and Sir Pentious will bake some cookies so we have something to eat when it’s time for coffee.”

Nifty nodded exaggeratedly, almost vibrating from that force she put into her motion. She instantly grabbed Sir Pentious’s hand and dragged him down the hallway towards the kitchen. When Husker, Angel and Vaggie went to get the decorations from the storage room you and Charlie were left alone.

“Are you as excited as I am?” You asked her with a moving voice and examined your sister expectantly. It was no secret that Charlie took that whole situation with your father a bit differently from you. While you almost imploded waiting to get a chance to meet him again, your sister was more reserved and kept herself a bit more distant from him. Even though she was the one your father seemed to favor when it came to dealing with the conflict with heaven. It didn’t matter that you were the older daughter…

“Ahm… I don’t know,” Charlie responded nervously stroking her neck, “I mean, yes, I am. But at the same time…” She hesitated and you put your hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, sis. I can understand,” you reassured her with a calm voice and smiled at her with genuine eyes. You could feel her shoulders relax under your supporting gesture.

“Thank you,” she responded and returned your smile. “It’s just… You know, since he and mom split, I often don’t feel like his daughter anymore. Yet he sounded very excited to come over.”

You took a deep breath and removed your hand from her shoulder. “We’ll see how things are going when he arrives.”

Charlie chuckled. “Well, I think you should go and inform Alastor about our special guest,” she requested, raising her eyebrows in concern. Charlie was the only person at the hotel who knew about your secret relationship with him. When you decided to knock on the door to propose your support to your sister, you and Alastor were already dating. In fact, you were the one who dragged him here because – regardless of his fearful and sketchy reputation – you knew he’d make a great hotelier and protector for the residents during future exterminations. But you both didn’t introduce yourselves as a couple right away. Instead, you found common ground in letting your sister know but keeping it hidden from the other residents. There were several reasons you both had decided against making your relationship public: Alastor’s reputation as the Radio Demon, yours as Lucifer’s oldest daughter, the gossip, the media… These and many more were all things you didn’t want to deal with. Especially since Alastor was a very private person who despised showing affection outside his private space and you, as a person who had no desire to brag about your partner, were totally fine with it. What happened in private chambers stayed in private chambers. That was your agreement, and if you let your friends know about your relationship, there would be too much risk that it would eventually become public. The only other person next to Charlie, and outside the hotel, who knew about your and Alastor’s connection, was his decades-long friend Rosie.

Repeating your sister's request in your head you nodded in agreement. It was the best to prepare Alastor. Even though an hour alone wouldn’t be long enough for him to digest the fact that he was about to meet your father. “Oh, I think he’ll be excited about the news,” you responded with a sarcastic tone and couldn’t help but release a malicious laugh. Oh, how much he will hate this...

You heard Charlie laughing along and shaking her head in amusement. But as quickly as the amusement appeared, it disappeared as you continued to think about the fact that Alastor was actually going to meet your father. With a deep breath you dropped your smile and lowered your voice. “Do you think it would be a good idea to tell dad about Alastor and me?”

“Ahm…” Charlie seemed to think about it more carefully before commenting, “I actually don’t know… I wish I could tell you but that’s something you and Alastor have to decide. First of all, I’d wait until after they had their first impressions of each other. Then… maybe… introduce him to the truth? I mean, if you and Alastor plan to stay together, what I hope – I mean… It’s obvious, why else would you date if it isn’t for staying together?” She chuckled at how much she was lost in her words and cleaned her throat. “I’m sorry. What I mean to say is that it would be beneficial for your shared future if you let dad know. At least at some point in the future.”

You nodded in understanding and gifted her a slight smile. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll talk to him about this later. First of all, I need to prepare him for meeting his soon-to-be father in law.” You laughed and excused yourself before you left the lobby and went upstairs.

When you arrived at Alastor’s radio station you knocked on the door.

“You may come in!” you heard Alastor’s dulled voice through the door and opened it. When you entered the radio station you immediately saw him sitting at his desk, leaning over some papers and holding a pen in his hand. When you closed the door, he placed the pen to the side and turned to look at you.

“Why hello, darling,” he greeted you, his signature smile on his face but his red eyes revealing a neutral expression. “What brings you here?”

“Well...” You took a deep breath and strolled towards him with your hands folded behind your back and your lips pressed to your teeth. “I’ve got some news for you that you’ll probably hate.”

“Oh?” he responded curiously and tilted his head to the side. His red hair swayed with the movement.

You arrived at his desk and leaned against the tabletop, your front mostly faced towards him. You tilted your head in the same direction as he did and couldn’t manage to suppress an amused smile. “My dad will be here in less than an hour,” you said with a cocky voice and watched Alastors expression shift as his lips curled up around his smile and his eyes immediately twitched. An awkward silence fell over the room before he broke it with a snippy tone, “You’re right. I hate that news.” His neck returned to a straight and more natural position and you chuckled.

“Vaggie’s the one to blame. She came up with the idea that Charlie should call him to ask for help because she could no longer bear seeing my sister ripping her hair out in despair over her missing rehabilitation success,” you explained and a growl escaped Alastor’s throat. He already didn't like Vaggie and now he probably liked her even less.

“Splendid,” he said without enthusiasm and stood up from his chair, grabbing his microphone cane and leaning on it. Now taller than you, you had to tilt your head back to be able to look him in the eyes. “How about I excuse myself and disappear for another set of seven years?”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,” you responded, raised your index finger and waved it in front of him. “You will stand your ground and behave. It’s just my dad.”

“He’s the king of hell, darling.”

“And that's why you'll be going down there and prove to him that you're a worthy partner for his princess daughter.”

He gritted his teeth and your smile widened as you nonchalantly brushed the wrinkles out of his coat.

“Are you questioning my abilities, darling?” He asked, placing one of his hands on top of yours, thus stopping your movements and squeezing it.

You felt your cheeks blush at his affectionate action and stepped closer to him, your body now close enough that it almost touched his. You could feel the warmth radiating off him and tilted your head slightly, your eyes still locked with his. “No, I’m not. And that’s exactly why I want you to do as I said.”

“Oh, is her dear royal highness misusing her mightiness to give me an order?” he asked with a low and unusually soft voice and a shiver ran down your spine. Oh, how you loved it when he became flirty. His charm was able to captivate you instantly, weakening your legs and waking those tingling butterflies in your stomach. He removed your hands from his coat and pulled you closer to him. Your body now touching his, you felt the urge to rest your head into the crook of his neck but resisted.

“She indeed is. And you better behave, peasant,” you teased him back and Alastor narrowed his eyes at you degrading him like this.

He let go of one of your hands and instead cupped your cheek before using his fingers to lift your chin up. “You seem to forget that I’m your finacé”, he purred, leaning in closer until only a few inches separated your noses from touching. His hot breath stroked your face and you could’ve sworn that his eyes had turned to a darker hue.

Without further hesitation he pulled you into a tender kiss. His lips brushed over yours and you leaned in closer, succumbing yourself completely to him. Your free hand roamed up and slid through his hair, pressing his face closer to yours. After a few moments of togetherness both of you let go of each other.

“We should return to the foyer. My dad can arrive any minute,” you said and stroked his cheek before heading towards the door. You could hear Alastor sigh behind you.

“Just as a reminder: I can’t promise you things will go well.”

You rolled your eyes as you left the radio station together. “At least try.”

After you entered the foyer most preparations were already done and it didn’t take long until your father arrived. Your body was shaking from excitement as you and Charlie went up to the door and your sister opened it.

"Charlie!,” your father shouted with joy. A huge grin sat on his face and his yellow eyes sparkled as his gaze fell on your sister who stood much closer to him. He held out his arms and approached her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too, dad,” Charlie pressed through the tight hug of her father, overwhelm and a little bit of uncomfort in her expression.

When Lucifer let go of her his eyes fell on you. "Y/N! You’re here too?” his pupils dilated in surprise and you immediately found yourself wrapped in his arms as well.

“Dad!” you greeted him as you placed your hands around his torso and squeezed, the soft fragrance of his cologne entering your nose. He smelled the same he always did, the scent taking you back to the past when your family was still together and healthy. It was wonderful to be this close to him after such a long time and you wished this moment could last longer. You looked to the side and saw Alastor standing near your sister. But what you didn’t see was one of his eyes twitching at your father’s gesture.

You let go of each other and Charlie held out her hand, spinning and pointing at the lobby. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

The other residents greeted him with waving hands from afar and your father smiled back at them, walking through the lobby and letting his gaze wander around. “Wow, this place looks, uh…” he twisted his mouth in an unpleasant manner and frowned, searching for the right words. He chuckled nervously and you and Charlie exchanged glances as he stammered around, turning to the side and surveying the establishment as if he was a property inspector. You could tell that nervousness spread across Charlie’s face as she probably hoped his words wouldn’t be too dismissive. You shrugged your shoulders at her to dismiss your father’s unsettling behavior and followed him.

“What do you think, dad?” you dared to ask him in hopes he’d come up with a response a little faster if you pushed on him a little.

“It’s got a lot of character,” he eventually said and winched with a squeak when he turned around and laid eyes on the bar. “What in the unholy hell is that?” he asked repulsively and pointed to the swampy-looking counter decorated with skulls and two full snake skeletons wrapped around the poles. The green wood paneling disrupted the noble red wallpaper of the looby, making it appear like an eyesore amidst the otherwise mostly luxurious decor.

A dark shadow crawled around the floor and took the form of Alastor who appeared right next to him. “Just some of the renovations we had done! ” he explained, pointing his cane at the bar, his signature smile wide and confident before he turned towards Lucifer and leaned on his cane. “Adds a bit of color, don’t you think?”

“And you are?” Lucifer asked with raised eyebrows, a skeptical tone in his voice.

You, again, exchanged glances with Charlie and held your breath. The moment has come in which your father and your financé had their first contact and somehow you got the feeling that this won’t end well. Your sister seemed to be fearing the same and she stepped closer to you. Her presence calmed your tension at least a little.

“Alastor,” your finacé introduced himself, “Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure!” He shook your fathers hand and you could see the disapproval in both their eyes, before they let go. Your father grimaced while Alastor wiped his hands over his coat.

This most definitely won’t end well. But before you and Charlie could say something, Alastor continued, “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.”

You breathed in sharply. Your father didn’t seem to take his comment well as his expression immediately turned to annoyance. You and Charlie both approached them, your sister standing next to your father while you kept closer to Alastor. You really hoped that he’d notice your disapproval over how things were going and slow down a bit. But you knew him well enough to be sure he wouldn’t notice the tension in the room and also wouldn't care if he did.

“Who is this?” your father asked, his eyes fixated on the demon before him. “Who’s this now? Are you the bellhop?”

Alastor laughed in response. “No! I’m the host of the hotel. You might’ve heard of me from my radio broadcast,” he explained.

Your father pretended to ponder his words for a very short moment but then denied with a derogatory snort. “Nope! I guess that’s why Charlie called it the ‘Hazbin Hotel’?” He laughed at his pun, this time more maliciously. The tension grew stronger and you didn’t even realize that you held your breath and pressed your fists so tightly together that your nails painfully stung your palms. Your sister, on the other hand, nervously rubbed her hands.

Hiding his offense, Alastor piled into your father’s laughter, “It was actually my idea.”

“Well, it’s not very clever!” your father responded, increasing his laugh.

Alastor did the same and leaned in closer, “Fuck you.”

“Alastor!” you yelled at him in shock and disbelief over his rude words and took him by his arm, dragging him to the side while your sister shoved your father into the other direction.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you scolded him with a lowered voice to keep your conversation as private as possible. He’d never been someone who cussed so why did he have to do this now of all times?

“He started it,” Alastor explained, keeping his face turned in the other direction to avoid eye contact.

You breathed in sharply, anger boiling within you as you hissed, “I don’t care about who did what. You were supposed to make a good impression!”

“Excuse me, dear, but it seems that your father and I don’t get along. And this seems to be based on mutuality. I don’t know if you noticed this but he already looked at me disapprovingly before we even exchanged words.”

Oh, you did notice this. But you didn’t care because in this moment it was important for both of them to at least pretend to tolerate each other. You couldn’t afford your father and your finacé to already disembowel each other during their first encounter. Important aspects of your shared future relied on their correlation. And… Was Alastor even listening to you?!

You snatched his cane out of his hands and spinned it around.

Alastor finally turned to look at you, his teeth gritted and his eyebrows pushed together. His gaze became softer as he eyed your expression but he still seemed tense.

“You’ll put this right, Alastor. Or otherwise…” You don’t finish your sentence and instead poke the pointy end of his cane between his ribs.

“Fine,” he growled and took his cane back.

You both turned around and saw Charlie pushing your father in your direction, her arm resting on his shoulder while she talked to him insistently with a calm but worried voice, “Without Alastor, we wouldn’t have been able to pretty it up this much!”

Alastor took a step closer, tapping his fingertips on his cane. “Charlie has a very unique vision,” he started and stood next to her, forcing himself to sound as honest and courteous as possible, “I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests.”

“Thank you, Alastor”, your sister responded, ignoring your frowning father who looked anything but amused.

Alastor continued, “Quite an impressive young lady. We’re all very proud of her.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and Charlie gave him a genuine smile before he let go and turned towards you. “And her sister, Y/N, well…” He laid his red eyes on you with a genuine and almost loving smile and rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it slightly in an almost unnoticeable but reassuring manner. “She’s an extraordinary being. Introduced me to this very special place so we can give her sister all the support and assistance she needs.”

You smiled at him, grateful that he followed your request to at least try to make things right.

Your father growled and narrowed his eyes as he noticed the way Alastor looked at you, the demon’s hand on your shoulder triggering his already strained nerves. He snatched his head in the other direction to face your sister. “Charlie… Why don’t you introduce me to your other friends?”

“Oh, yes, of course!” she called out and walked up to the other residents. “This is Vaggie. She’s my girlfriend!” She pulled Vaggie with her who shyly raised her hand in a reserved greeting gesture.

Your father laughed and his mood immediately switched from annoyance to excitement. “Oh my golly! You like girls? So do I! We have so much in common!” He pulled Vaggie in a rushed embrace, letting her go as fast as he got close to her. “She’s beautiful!”

You felt your heart sink in your chest at your father’s opposite reaction to your sister’s partner and a strike of anxiety hit you at the thought of telling him the truth about you and Alastor. It wasn’t only the fact you both were a couple that made you this insecure but the fact that you were even engaged to him.

Alastor seemed to sense your inner tension and squeezed your shoulder again, now with more pressure and you were grateful for him that he hadn’t removed his hand yet. His closeness was exactly what you needed at this moment. You moved a bit closer to him, hoping that you both didn't appear too close in the other eyes, and breathed in his scent while your thoughts raced in your head. You reviewed the events again and realized that Alastor was right. You had little reason to be so angry (only) at him because your father didn’t really behave either from the first second. Hopefully you could somehow dismiss this conflict as a matter of miscommunication between them.

You watched your sister introduce your father to the other residents which he seemed to get along with very well – contrary to your finacé who seemed to be the only one he immediately despised.

You sighed and that’s when your father turned around to face the lobby. With a determined expression he raised his voice so everybody could hear him, “Well, it looks like I could give you some help. With a little bit of alakazam,” he wiggled his fingers, indicating a magic spell, “we could turn this place into something much more appealing! I mean, who needs a busboy now that you got the chef?” He faced Alastor with narrowed eyes and poked his elbow teasingly into Charlie’s side.

You could feel Alastor’s grip on your shoulder tightening. His smile turned into a strained grin as he obviously thought about saying something. You begged that he kept his mouth shut to not reinforce their conflict…

“Well, Charlie…” your father continued before Alastor could even say something, “I’m not almighty but I could give you a lot. Almost anything, if you ask for it. You know, normally, I’d charge a lot for my help but since you’re my daughter and I love you with all my heart, it’s a matter of course I do it for free. Unlike that sketchy prick who probably has some devious intentions in his mind.” He raised his cane and pointed at Alastor.

Charlie blinked a few times and pressed a nervous and drawled ‘Thank you…’ through her uncomfortable smile. It was obvious that she didn’t approve of your father’s comment but she also didn’t want to increase the drama by intervening.

Alastor took his hand off your shoulder and leaned on his cane. “At least I’ve been here from the start,” he commented and eyed his claws with a hint of arrogance.

You breathed in sharply but tried your best to keep your patience up as Alastor continued his monologue. “Let's not forget that I’ve always been faithful to you, Charlie. I support you, care for you and this hotel, and execute whatever you demand”, he exclaimed with such confidence that it was almost awkward listening to him.

“That’s true,” your sister responded carefully with a grateful smile on her face and your father rolled his eyes. “You know, dad, Alastor does a lot for the hotel and its residents.”

“No matter his capabilities, because sometimes, Charlie, there’s no substitute for pure angelic power, which – not to forget – also happens to be your blood!”

“Dad…” Charlie sighed and you growled, the anger cooking inside of you.

“Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud,” Alastor interfered again, his grin still as prominent as always but his eyes narrowed, darting invisible arrows at Lucifer. He straightens his back to appear even taller in comparison to your father, the arrogance undeniable in his expression. “Seems like the family you chose is better.”

“You’re such a loser!” your dad spat out.

“And yet here you are proving me right with every word you speak,” Alastor snatched back.

“You know nothing, you prick!”

“Well, unlike you, I don’t abandon my responsibilities!”

“How do you dare question my commitment?”

“At least I care for your daughters.”

“Oh you tacky little piece of–!”

You jumped between them. “Shut the fuck up! Both of you!”

you yelled as your anger burst through the walls you’ve tried to maintain hold of. Your voice cracked with the strain of suppressed fury and your appearance began to morph into a much more demonic form as pointy horns grew out of your head and your eyes turned a gleaming bloody red. “I’m sick of you bickering like children, you fucking attention whores! Is this how you get your kicks, by not being able to keep your mouths shut over such trivial nonsense? Do you even realize how goddamn irritating it is for the rest of us to be subjected to your constant squabbling? You know each other for ten minutes and already start pushing each other to the limits!”

“Y/N–,” Alastor tried to interrupt you but you stretched out your arm, pushing him away from you.

“No, Alastor, back the fuck off!” you scream, looking up in his red eyes and poking his chest angrily with your index finger. “Everytime I tell you to keep your shit together and make a good impression, you make things worse!”

Your head snatches around and you now stare at your father with the same fury in your eyes. “And you, dad, stop your irresponsible nonsense and don’t taunt him as if he were a punching bag for your own insecurities!” Now you poke at your father’s chest, towering over him with floating hair and fire in your eyes. “Because Alastor’s right! Where have you been all the time? Instead of helping us and supporting Charlie in her project, you didn't even contact us! Especially not me! The last time I heard from you was over a year ago! And now you come here, finally ready to help your daughters, and the moment you arrive you start lashing out at my fiancé to deflect from your own mistakes because you can't stand the fact that he was there for us while you preferred to wallow yourself in your depression!”

Silence fell over the room when you finished your rant, all eyes locked on you in shock and disbelief over your courage to attack the Radio Demon and the King of Hell himself in such a manner. Your heart raced, pumped your blood through your veins with such a pressure that you felt your whole body pulsating under your tension as relief washed over you.

“Y–,” your dad tried to say, stuttering and completely overwhelmed by your confrontation and what you just revealed to him. “You–, Your… fiancé?” He ripped his eyes open, his mouth agape in disbelief.

You breathed in heavily and closed your eyes for a brief moment, realizing what you just revealed, before you opened them again and responded to his question with a much calmer but also weak and tired voice, “Yes, dad. Alastor is my fiancé.”

“What the fuck?” you could hear Angel exclaim in the background but ignored him.

“Well…” your father hesitated. He struggled hard to find the right words and put his hand over his mouth, rubbing his skin like a stress ball. “Well, I’m… Wow…”

Alastor approached you, his steps echoing from the high walls in the silent room and he put his hand on your shoulder. Feeling his touch through your blouse, caused a jolt of electricity to rush through your body. It erased the rest of your anger and your appearance returned to your normal form. Alastor’s presence calmed you down to an almost relaxed state. You felt the need to lean on him but resisted because everything that just happened was already enough – for you, for your father, your fiancé and all the other residents who were forced to witness this nerve-wrecking spectacle.

You watched your father’s gaze roam over Alastor’s presence, from his head to his toes and from his toes back to his head.

“I–, I don’t know what to say… Uh… I–... I’m speechless,” he stuttered, unable to look away from the man that stood next to you and encouraged you with a little but meaningful gesture and with who you wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. “I–, excuse me. I need some time to think.”

Your father indicated to turn around and leave as your sister grabbed him by his arm, holding him back. “Would you like me to give you a tour around the hotel?” she asked him reassuringly in hope he would agree, what he then did.

“Yes. Please.”

Your sister gave you an encouraging look before she turned around and guided your father towards the stairs, Vaggie following right after to accompany them.

Now, you and Alastor were alone with Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, Husk and Niffty. All of them stared at you, speechless. Especially Husk appeared a bit traumatized by your accidental announcement.

“So… Mister fancy-talk-creepy-voice managed to slide into the royal family?” Angel asked you with interest but you raised your hand, interrupting him.

“Stop it, Angel.”

The spider demon pressed his lips together in a thin line and hummed.

You turned towards Alastor. “Are you mad?” you asked him, afraid that you damaged his trust by revealing your biggest secret you had sworn to keep.

Alastor leaned his head down sideways to look you in the eyes. His grin was replaced by a genuine smile as his red eyes surveyed your expression. “It’s alright, my dear.”

He looked over to the other residents, walking a few steps closer to them and cocked his head in an unnatural and unnerving way. His antlers grew in size with pointy ends while his eyes changed to a black color with red, moving radio dials as irises. “If you dare say a single word about mine and Y/N’s relationship outside of the hotel, I will tear you apart and hang your guts as flags on the hotel roof so everybody will be able to see what happens if you dare gossip about the radio demon and his lady.”

*****

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

Note

Rules for requests? Any specific characters you will/won’t write for? (Hazbin Hotel)

Thank you for your interest! I just posted a rule/character sheet on my blog 😊

#alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #alastor imagine #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel fanfiction #reader fic #reader insert #x reader #alastor fanfiction

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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Request rules

Requests are currently open!

(This list only applies to stories. I don't take any art requests at the moment. If I ever decide to open art requests there will be a different set of rules!)

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Basic information:

❥ All of my works (so far) are x reader and I probably won't write stories featuring any OCs that aren't my own. If any of my stories ever feature one (or more) of my OCs I'll state it on top of the description.

❥ All of my stories are written in second person unless stated otherwise.

❥ I prefer to write female or gender neutral reader (but don't hesitate to ask me about male reader requests).

❥ Requests might take some time to write (I attach great importance to my personal space/private life—self-care is very important for me!).

❥ I like to write song-fics but I probably won't take any requests because my music taste is different from the average (further information below).

{Masterlist}

List of Fandoms/Characters I'll write (will change/grow over time):

❥ Hazbin Hotel

Alastor, Lucifer Morningstar

❥ Star Wars

Obi-Wan Kenobi

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There are specific rules that determine what I will/won't write. But sometimes there are exceptions, so feel free to ask—I won't bite!

What I WON'T write:

ABORTION - I hope this one explains itself.

ABUSE - if the character is the one inflicting anything crucial to the reader or the other way round (especially in romance or with children as victims); talking about it is okay; sometimes side characters "harming" the reader/other characters might also be okay but I can't really tell you what's okay and what's not because it really depends on the case (the kind of abuse/how detailed/the plot/identity of victim & perpetrator/circumstances/etc.). Abuse is a very crucial topic that won't trigger me but might trigger other people and I also don't support any abusive actions at all nor will I ever romanticize them! I'd see less issues with this topic if the story's intention is to spread awareness! So don't be afraid to ask! I will tell you if it's okay or not).

CHEATING - neither the character doing it to the reader nor the reader doing it to the character (only exception: unwanted/forced/arranged and loveless marriage with a side character—not to be confused with unhappy marriage).

GORE/BODY HORROR - I don't mind blood or violence but I won't write anything that's too descriptive.

HATE/DISCRIMINATION - I don't support any kind of hate or discrimination and never will. My blog is a safe space for all kinds of people in this world. However, there are a few exceptions such as discrimination in a historical context or as a character background that shaped their personality. I might also write discrimination to spread awareness or if a side character is discriminating another character but gets to feel the consequences of their actions. So feel free to ask me and I'll tell you if I'll write your request or not!

INCEST - explains itself.

OMEGAVERSE - I neither understand it nor feel comfortable with it.

RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT - mentions are okay (f.e. to spread awareness) but actual descriptions aren't.

SMUT - I might post smut that comes from my own ideas but don't take any requests at the moment because I've never posted something like this ever before. So it might probably change over tim. (I'll write spice and suggestive stories though as long as they ain't smutty.)

SONG-FICS - I really like to write them myself but I probably won't take requests since my music taste isn't average and I don't like most popular music. I will make exceptions though if the requested songs somehow meet my taste/mood (I prefer dark wave, post punk, synth pop, metalcore, and rock/alternative metal in general. I listen to pop as well but only to specific songs/artists, such as Lana Del Rey, Lady Gaga or Rihanna. So feel free to ask—maybe we meet a common ground, even if it's not my taste of music! This rule might also not apply to instrumental music!)

SUICIDE/SELF HARM - talking about it/mentions are okay (f.e. awareness or Chara term background) but I won't write any scenarios of characters actually committing to such actions!

What I WILL write:

ANGST

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE (AU)

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - but only up to a certain point (consider the rules above. I also won't write detailed gore and body horror)

BREAK-UP

CHARACTER DEATH

FAKE RELATIONSHIP

FLUFF

FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP

FRIENDSHIP

HEADCANON

PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP

PREGNANCY

SPICY/SUGGESTIVE - as long as it's not smutty

ANYTHING ELSE THAT ISN'T MENTIONED - of course there might still be some topics/themes I won't write about that aren't on the list yet. In this case the rule sheet will be updated!

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I may decline a request if I don't feel comfortable with it but in this case I will inform you. If that's te case, please don't take it personal! I also still have to explore my writing preferences and boundaries (f.e. I don't feel comfortable taking smut requests at the moment because I've never posted smut ever before. But this will probably change over time). If you're unsure if I will write you request, feel free to ask! 💞

#request #request rules #x reader #y/n #reader insert #story requests #rules #star wars #hazbin hotel #obi wan x reader #star wars x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #obi wan kenobi #alastor #alastor the radio demon

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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Masterlist

💫 ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪᴠᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ 💫

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{Request rules}

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Alastor x reader:

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❥ Alastor x Female!Morningstar!Reader - Dad beat Fiancé beat Dad

❥ Alastor x gn!Reader - Unspoken Feelings

𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓸𝓸𝓷...

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Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader:

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❥ Obi-Wan Kenobi x gn!reader - A Padawan's Confession

❥ Obi-Wan Kenobi x f!reader - Dernière Danse

❥ Obi-Wan Kenobi x gn!reader - Jealousy and Principles

❥ Obi-Wan Kenobi x gn!reader - The Heart Wants What It Wants

#masterlist #x reader #star wars x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #y/n #star wars #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #one shots #reader insert #alastor x y/n #obi-wan x you #alastor x you #obi wan kenobi #alastor the radio demon

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cinnamon-galaxies · 1 month

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Me:

No I'm totally fine I swear

Also me:

*Types "<character name> x reader" into tumblr search bar*

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cinnamon-galaxies · 4 months

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I’m not a perfectionist, but finding a typo or a grammatical error in my own already-published fic is like stepping on a Lego honestly

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cinnamon-galaxies · 4 months

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The Heart Wants What It Wants (song-fic)

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Pairings: Obi-Wan x gn!reader

Warnings/Tags: gender-neutral reader, song-fic, sad (but no angst), bitter-sweet ending, mentions of break-up (the whole story's about break-up tbh)

Summary: Months have passed since you and Obi-Wan broke up, but you still suffer from a broken heart. As you spend the evening at your favorite cantina, you finally manage to get on stage and sing that song that's been floating around in your head for weeks. But you don't expect to meet the Jedi you still love with all your heart.

Song: 'The Heart Wants What It Wants' by Selena Gomez

youtube

Words: 3.3k

A/n: This one broke my heart during the writing process.

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The air inside the cantina pressed down on you, mirroring the heavy feeling inside your chest. It's been months since the breakup happened and you and Obi-Wan parted ways. But it felt as if it wasn't even a week ago he left you alone crying on the floor in distress. You've tried to do what people recommended to get over the breakup. You tried to focus on yourself and your well-being, tried to distract yourself with the company of other people or had some quality time just for yourself. But since Obi-Wan was gone your mission was gone as well. You both had been assigned to uncover a deeply rooted conspiracy about a secret separatists base on an Outer Rim planet. And it has been an experience that would affect your whole life in the most unexpected ways possible. You didn't just meet an old friend again, after years, but created a bond with him that slowly put down the roots for something that grew to be so much more than just friendship. Your relationship with Obi-Wan has been defined by a trust that would make you both put the fate of your lives into each other's hands. It has been defined by harmony and a very special type of banter you've never experienced with someone else ever before. You both had become lovers and you've sworn an unbreakable commitment to each other. And that's exactly when the Jedi order started to unfold its influence on you. While the Clone Wars had evolved into a complex tapestry of political intrigue, moral ambiguity, and personal sacrifice, the Jedi order had started to test your limits and in the end suspected something between you and the Jedi master. The order has always had its feet standing between you and Obi-Wan, like an unbreakable monument of a greater power that was impossible to avoid. The whole time you've been aware of the fact that there was no such future for your love as you can find on the ordinary streets of Coruscant. And that's when you both had decided to part ways.

You took a deep sigh and tried to turn your attention to the small stage in the back of the room where a young togruta performed a song. She had a beautiful voice and her facial expression revealed her full commitment to the meaning of her song. She stood on stage as if she was a professional actor but she was in fact just an ordinary woman who took the opportunity to show off her talent at The Va'Belær's weekly Open Night. This was an event in your favourite local cantina where anyone could take the opportunity to go on stage and perform anything. It really didn't matter what it was. You could show off a special talent, tell a story or some funny jokes... Or you could just...sing a song. You've never missed out to attend the event, watching the locals perform and get at least a little bit of distraction for an evening. You even considered to participate as well but haven't quite felt the last spark that was missing to finally find the strength to stand up.

But tonight would be different, you thought as you listened to the beautiful voice of the togruta echoing from the high brick walls. Tonight you would finally go on stage and sing the song that's been haunting your mind for weeks.

As the last verses had left the togrutas lips, cheerful applause flooded the cantina and you used the moment to push your chair away and stand up. You smiled at the togruta as you both exchanged places and you pulled a tiny piece of paper with the song name written on it out of you pocket and handed it to one of the staff members. As you stepped on the creeking piles of the stage everything felt fine until your gaze wandered around the large room. Suddenly an unpleasant feeling of nervosity rushed through your veins as you met the gaze of the curious audience. Your legs started to shake, fortunately hidden under your thick garments, but empowered by the sudden fear of failure that lured somewhere deep in your mind—not consciously awake but still there making you regret your decision for a brief moment. But that's not what you've wanted. And there was nothing to be ashamed of as you knew yourself that you had a great singing voice. It was only a matter of the fact that noone ever heard it before. Not even Obi-Wan.

Let's change that, you thought. You rose your hand to give the staff a signal and the music started to play. You took a deep breath, eyeing the microphone in front of you, and started singing: "You got me sippin' on something. I can't compare to nothing I've ever known. I'm hoping that after this fever I'll survive..." Your gaze wandered around the audience again, analyzing their reactions to your performance. Excited faces met your gaze and people ended their conversations to fully give you their attention. This made your nervosity and fears evaporate and you dared to touch the microphone, pulling it further to you as if it was the person your song was about. Your voice slowly became louder and grew more powerful with each verse that left your lips. "I know I'm acting a bit crazy. Strung out, a little bit hazy. Hand over heart I'm praying that I'm gonna make it out alive."

Obi-Wan had enough of his thoughts constantly revolving around his mission. He was tired but at the same time too overstimulated to go to sleep, so he decided to head to The Va'Belær, a cantina recommended to him by the locals. Just for one night he wanted to be alone from Anakin and enjoy a drink, and—hopefully—good music.

The windy air felt cold on his skin and he pulled his cloak tighter as he walked down the dimly-lit streets. Speeders drove past him making whirring noises but besides that and a few chatting passengers the city was quiet.

What a calming atmosphere, he thought. So much more relaxing than the nerve-wrecking turmoil on Coruscant, and the peaceful surroundings on this small Outer Rim planet built a high contrast to the war and destruction.

Obi-Wan laid his eyes on a limestone structure at a street crossing not far away. A glowing sign with vertical letters saying 'The Va'Belær's Cantina' marked his destination and the almost quiet atmosphere of the city allowed the jedi to notice the low rhythm of a slow song. With every step he got further to the cantina the music and it's rhythm became louder, but was still muted enough that the song wasn't recognizable. As his hands slowly pushed the door open a hauntingly beautiful voice enchanted his ears, singing a song about a love that's gone and left a broken heart longing for the one who had once made it whole. It was filled with a bunch of emotions that were similar to those circling in his mind for months now—suppressed by the importance of his mission, but still present enough that every quiet minute felt as heavy as if a Bantha stood on his chest.

He took a deep breath and hesitated. Was this really a good idea to enter the cantina when the first song that entered his ears happened to remind him of the worst heartbreak he's ever had to go through? He took a moment for himself and listened to the siren-like voice putting as much love, pain and longing into their song as possible.

"The bed's getting cold and you're not here. The future that we hold is so unclear. But I'm not alive until you call. And I'll bet the odds against it all. Save your advice 'cause I won't hear. You might be right, but I don't care. There's a million reasons why I should give you up. But the heart wants what it wants. The heart wants what it wants," you sang, your eyes were weary of those heavy emotions that pressed down on you. It was such a relief to eventually get rid of the painful clod in your chest that you never talked about with anyone. To let all of your emotions float into your song, reach the public and echo into the farest parts of the universe. The force that you so significantly tried to hide washed off in waves, filled the room and flattered the audience with an affecting warmth—keeping them fully focused on your performance as you dared to push more and more emotions into your voice with every verse that left your lips: "You got me scattered in pieces, shining like stars and screaming, lighting me up like Venus. But then you disappear and make me wait. And every second's like torture, heroin drip, no more so finding a way to let go. Baby, baby, no, I can't escape."

A sudden warmth, familiar but at the same time strange to him, reached the unraveling storm in Obi-Wan's chest and calmed him down instantly. He recognized it as the force that hit him with a flattering touch and reached out to him as if it was about to tell him a secret. There was another force-sensitive individual in this cantina—and it was not his former Padawan Anakin.

With another deep breath Obi-Wan eventually pushed the whole door open and stepped fully inside the warm hall. His gaze wandered around the guests who mostly focused their attention on the performance while he searched for a free table. One was left, right in the middle of the audience. To ensure his view at the stage he looked up to the singer and a shockwave rushed through his body. He instantly held his breath as his heart skipped a beat when his gaze fell on a face that once had been the most familiar to him. Y/N.

As you sung the next pre-chorus you saw the door open in the corner of your eye. A familiar presence stepped into the cantina and you knew exactly who you were about to encounter. An undefined shivery feeling ran through your veins and you turned your gaze towards the new guest, meeting the pale face of Obi-Wan who didn't put much effort into hiding his heavy surprise by your presence.

Stop the song, a voice that resembled your own whispered in your head. You were about to lose focus and out if a sudden it got hard to follow the song, it's rhythm and the lyrics. Without an interruption you tried to use the force to calm yourself and as a rush of comfortable warmth washed over you you found the strength to put even more power and emotion into your voice. As if you were a professional actress in the theatre you suddenly found yourself entangled in your role and let your eyes wander over the jedi's presence. His robes were hidden underneath a thick brown cloak. The hood rested behind his neck so his whole face was uncovered. He looked the same like always, almost as if nothing bad has ever happened between you and him. But that was only the first glance that belied normality. While you studied his face you recognized the subtle hints of a shadow that laid on his soul. His blue eyes were surrounded by rather dark circles and also his cheeks gave him a slightly sick appearance. He still struggled with your breakup and within a part of you you felt happiness arise while the other part increased its ache. You both could've had everything. You could've been perfect. If not the code stood between you, monitoring you with a suspicious glance. If it was just that you both could be free to love each other the way you've ever wanted...

Captured by Obi-Wan's blue eyes you sag the bridge: "This is a modern fairy tale. No happy endings, no wind in our sails. But I can't imagine a life without breathless moments breaking me down, down, down, down." You slowly lowered the volume of your voice and decreased its power until it sounded dramatically weak, influenced by your broken heart. Your eyes were locked with Obi-Wan's who still hasn't moved the tiniest bit. With a breaking sound in your voice you sung the last chorus: "The bed's getting cold and you're not here. The future that we hold is so unclear. But I'm not alive until you call. And I'll bet the odds against it all. Save your advice 'cause I won't hear. You might be right, but I don't care. There's a million reasons why I should give you up. But the heart wants what it wants."

Your voice became even weaker until almost a whisper was left and you felt tears pouring into your eyes. You used the force to soothe yourself, calm yourself down and lock the tears back to where they belong. Thousands of memories flooded your mind. Slow and passionate kisses followed by raging desire as you began to undress each other. The way he had looked at you, his blue eyes fixated on yours. The small and inconvenient touches when you were out in public that calmed you down instantly. And the hundreds of spoken promises which all became insignificant within an hour and turned into an echo of the unconditional love you both had once shared with each other.

"The heart wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants, baby... It wants what it wants, baby... It wants what it wants... It wants what it wants... The heart wants what it wants, baby... It wants what it wants."

The melody faded away as the song ended and soon got replaced by roaring applause.

You took your eyes off of Obi-Wan as you lifted yourself from the dirty piles and bowed to the audence. The song that felt like relief in the first few verses had soon turned into an unbearable ache in your chest and thus the first thing you did after you stepped down from the stage was heading to the bar.

"Please give me your heaviest shot," you ordered from the bartender. A slight understanding grin sneaked onto his face and he nodded before turning around. With routined movements he mixed a few drinks into a cup and placed it in front of you.

"Thank you," you said and grabbed the cup when a shadowy silhouette moved in the corner of you eye and sat down right next to you.

"I never knew you have such a beautiful singing voice," a familiar voice said and and you placed the drink back on the counter without taking a sip.

"Thank you," you replied cold, keeping your gaze focused straight on the cup. You didn't really understand the feeling inside your chest as it was a mixture of distressed pain and a sudden excitement that both got engaged in a fight that couldn't end well... Hearing his voice after that long time was weird but at the same time comforting. As if a silent wish came true. But instead you've wished to never encounter with him again—or at least that's what you made yourself believe. In the end it made you happy to hear his voice again. To see him again. If the happiness hadn't been suppressed by that undescribable heart-wrenching pain deep inside your guts, clenching them together as much as possible.

"You probably didn't enter this cantina to chat with me. So what do you want here?", you asked him and eventually took a deep sip of your drink. The liquid burned on your tongue as it ran down to your stomach, distracting you from the emotional roller coaster for a brief moment. That drink was indeed strong.

"I aimed to distract myself from my mission for an evening," Obi-Wan explained offhand and you nodded.

"The same mission about the rumoured separatists base?" you asked, still not even slightly looking at him. It was too painful to see his presence, his beautiful face and the always so cocky smile on his lips.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes." You heard him exhale loudly as if he was unsure how to continue. "It just turned into a neverending odyssey, both confusing and nerve-wrecking at the same time."

"A Jedi openly talking about wrecked nerves is new to me," you pointed out with a sarcastic undertone. Actually, you didn't want to talk to him. But on the inside you didn't want to stop either.

"Don't act as if this surprises you. You are the epitome of wrecked nerves."

"But at least I'm no a Jedi." You once had been part of the order but that was many years ago. You were still a padawan when you parted ways with the Jedi and their awful principles that took you hostage. And it's been just a few years since you've met Obi-Wan again...

Silence fell over you and you both found yourself lost in memories of a time when everything seemed to be petfect. When you were together and at least could pretend to live in an ideal world. Obi-Wan as a Jedi knight, a leading general and the great negotiator, and you, a mercenary grey Jedi with a penchant to bounty hunter businesses. So weird but at the same time efficient combination of professions that had worked out a little too well.

Obi-Wan's voice cut through the melancholy air. "Y/N."

You turned slowly, your eyes finally meeting his. "Yes?" You asked with a voice much weaker than expected. The distance between you seemed both vast and infinitesimal. The unspoken words hung in the air, a palpable tension that begged to be addressed and you felt a tingling feeling creep into your stomach. The urge to just kiss him was unbearable.

Obi-Wan, his gaze unwavering, spoke: "Your song... You still love me, don't you?"

You held your breath, tears crawling up your eyes but you managed to hold them back. "Yes," you replied with a stomp nod and your throat tightened so much it began to hurt. "I still love you, Obi-Wan. And I always will."

You saw him struggle with your words. The muscles in his jaws tightened visibly as he seemed to be lost in thoughts.

"We chose our paths, Obi-Wan. The Force had different plans for us", you continued to break the silence.

Obi-Wan locked his eyes with yours. You both studied each other's faces when, suddenly, he reached out, his hand hesitating before finding yours on the bar. "Sometimes the Force tests us, challenges us to find a balance between duty and the heart. The Jedi who created the code must have forgotten the suffering that comes from denying affection. I've felt its tug, Y/N, and I can't deny how much I miss you."

You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions. "What do you want from me Obi-Wan?" you asked with a cracked voice. You were about to lose control over the force that restrained the dashing flood built up within you, rough and reckless, about to break through.

Obi-Wan let out a deep sigh, a watery expression hidden in his eyes, then took his hand off yours. "I love you, Y/N. More than anything. No matter what the code, the Jedi, demand: the heart wants what it wants. And I can't bear making the same mistake I did when I was young. Meet me at those coordinates in three rotations." He pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled a series of numbers on it before handing it to you. His blue eyes locked with yours and you could see an emotion within them that you thought to never see again. Then he stood up from his seat and left the cantina, leaving you alone with a undefinable, burning chaos in your chest.

Your gaze fell on the paper in your hand. Meet me at those coordinates in three rotations, you repeated his words in your head. I will, Obi-Wan. I will...

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cinnamon-galaxies · 5 months

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cinnamon-galaxies · 5 months

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Dernière Danse

Pairings: Obi-Wan x (opera singer) reader

Warnings/Tags: song fic, romance, affection, deep conversation, both characters kiss

Summary: You are an opera singer and Obi-Wan accompanies you to your home planet to protect you from the bounty hunters pursuing you. When you both visit a place that not only brings back beautiful memories in you, but also has a special influence on you, you both find yourself captured in an enchanting melancholy that feeds the secret affection you hold for each other. In the embrace of the atmosphere, you do what you cherish the most: sing a beautiful song, that unexpectedly leads to a fervent waltz.

Song: "Dernière Danse" by Indila https://youtu.be/sCNbRElkSw8?si=92fJyU9U7k13UrMO

Words: 1.9k

A/n: It took me so long to finish the story and I will probably start a series with short stories about the romance between Obi-Wan and the opera singer.

~~~~~~

The soft glow of the moon bathed the ancient ruins, perched on a hidden cliff, in a silver radiance. Abandoned for millennia, this sacred place had been a sanctuary since your earliest memories. The magic of the ruins revealed itself most profoundly under the cloak of the night, an enchanted aura that drew you in like a long-lost friend. Although your visits had become infrequent since relocating to Coruscant, each return to your family home beckoned you to this hallowed ground.

The weathered murals that adorned the ruins told tales of dramas and ancient fairy tales, capturing your imagination since childhood. Tonight, however, your solitude was interrupted. Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi and a dear friend, accompanied you on this nocturnal pilgrimage. Duty bound him to protect you from the bounty hunters that pursued you, yet it was your idea to share this special place, a testament to the bond you shared.

Your voice, filled with a hint of melancholy, carried the weight of memories as you spoke to Obi-Wan. "As a child, my mother and I spent countless hours here. She told me stories of the ancient civilization that once thrived in these ruins." A fond smile graced your lips, and Obi-Wan observed the light in your eyes with keen interest. The beauty and tranquility of this place seemed to touch a chord within him.

"The Vaarhi, that's what they were called, right?" Obi-Wan recalled, his hand exploring the weathered surface of a stone brick as you nodded in agreement.

"Yes, they are my ancestors."

"Really?" Obi-Wan settled onto a worn brick, his touch absorbing the essence of the aged stone. "The spiritual legacy of the Vaarhi is evident in you."

You chuckled softly, remembering how Obi-Wan had remarked on your spiritual aura when you first met him after a performance. Closing your eyes, you inhaled the night air, momentarily lost in shared memories. In that quiet moment, your mind wandered to the unexpected connection that had grown between you and Obi-Wan. Fate seemed to intertwine your paths at every turn, leading you to a profound understanding. The camaraderie, the shared ideals, and the uncanny similarities in your personalities forged a bond that transcended duty. Despite your growing affection for him, a bitter-sweet realization hung in the air—the Jedi Code forbade the reciprocation of such feelings. But all of your encounters were not mere coincidence, but forget a connection that runs deeper than duty demands. It felt like fate and fate had a curious way of guiding, even when least expected.

The nocturnal symphony of the ruins seemed to echo the complexity of your emotions. The forbidden affections tugged at your heart, yet the night held a quiet reassurance that, for now, you could revel in the shared warmth of the ruins and the profound connection that had woven itself into the fabric of your intertwined destinies.

Your eyes fluttered open, determined to cast aside the intrusive thought that threatened to permeate your mind. Instead, you immersed yourself in the delicate perfume of countless flowers wafting through the air. A symphony of joyful colors and tender emotions enveloped you. "Indeed, Master Kenobi, spirituality courses through my veins. Historical tales, superstitions, and fairy tales evoke a melancholy that eludes verbal expression. It's this connection that allows me to empathize so deeply with my roles in the opera," you explained, turning to face him. His gentle gaze lingered on your silhouette, absorbing the details of your face and the flowing dress that cascaded around your legs like a waterfall.

As your melancholy brushed against him, his aura softened, and you studied his countenance with keen interest. Something stirred in his eyes, and your heart quickened. In the night's gentle illumination, his irises mirrored the bluish hues of the flowers adorning the ruins. A flutter danced in your stomach, prompting you to turn away, wary of revealing too much about yourself and the burgeoning feelings for him. The awareness that he could sense your emotional state added an extra layer of complexity.

With purposeful steps, you reached the cliff's edge. Crooked trees, aged companions of the ruins, lined the slope, guardians of the former temple complex that loomed above the evergreen grassland. In the absence of urban lights, a tapestry of stars unfolded in myriad colors, a celestial display unparalleled in many corners of the planet.

"This place is where my passion for singing was kindled," you shared, turning back to Obi-Wan, who remained a silent observer. A tingling sensation traversed your body, and once again, your stomach fluttered. These were the moments that hinted at a connection beyond what he was willing to acknowledge. The stolen glances, the lingering stares—could he truly believe you were oblivious?

"I can imagine this place has been a wellspring of inspiration for you," Obi-Wan replied, briefly diverting his gaze to the surroundings. "It's a rare beauty, unlike many places I've visited."

"It's profoundly special to me. A haven of tranquility, seldom frequented by others. Being here grounds me and brings me closer to my roots," you explained, moving away from the cliff to settle on a stone opposite Obi-Wan. His eyes followed your every movement. Yes, it was a sanctuary for you, and that's precisely why you had brought him here.

You drew in another deep breath, and began to sing, the haunting melody weaving through the quiet night. The song, a familiar refrain that echoed through these ancient ruins ever before, held lyrics filled with sadness and heartbreak—but at the same time, was equally beautiful.

"Ô ma douce souffrance. Pourquoi s'acharner? Tu r'commences. Je n'suis qu'un être sans importance. Sans lui, je suis un peu paro. Je déambule seule dans l'métro."

Obi-Wan, captivated by the ethereal sound, held his breath as your voice painted the air. It was a sound he had heard many times before, yet each rendition enthralled him anew. Your voice, incomparably beautiful, possessed an unforgettable and haunting quality that silenced his thoughts like a siren's song. Unable to tear his gaze away, he found himself entirely entranced.

"Une dernière danse. Pour oublier ma peine immense. Je veux m'enfuir que tout r'commence. Ô ma douce souffrance."

The lyrics, tinged with emotions that reached deep within, were a poignant declaration of your romantic feelings for Obi-Wan. While you had sung for him before, subliminally during an opera performance, this time was different. It was an intimate moment meant solely for him, and the weight of it hung in the air.

You shifted your gaze, peering beyond the ancient trees to the horizon where the sea of stars unfolded. As the refrain left your lips, your voice reached its zenith, yet still withholding a fraction of its full potential.

"J'remue le ciel, le jour, la nuit. Je danse avec le vent, la pluie. Un peu d'amour, un brin de miel. Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse."

Enchanted by the spellbinding melody, Obi-Wan gracefully rose from his seat and approached you. A gentle smile adorned his face as he extended his hand, seamlessly intertwining with yours. In a fluid motion, he drew you to your feet, one hand securely holding yours, while the other rested on your waist, eliciting a delightful shiver of excitement.

"Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur. Est-ce mon tour? Revient la douleur. Dans tout Paris, je m’abandonne. Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole."

Obi-Wan's eyes locked onto yours, and with the onset of the next verse, he initiated a dance, pulling you into a surprising rhythm. You followed his lead, visibly taken aback; it was the first time witnessing his dance, a revelation that defied your expectations. You never imagined he would, let alone possess the skill you were now witnessing.

"Que d’espérance. Sur ce chemin en ton absence. J'ai beau trimer, sans toi ma vie n'est qu'un décor qui brille, vide de sens."

Lost in the depths of each other's eyes, you both shared a profound gaze. As if ensnared by an unseen force, you found it impossible to look away, losing yourself in the infinite galaxies reflected in his gaze. The gentle and loving smile on Obi-Wan's lips conveyed a message that transcended mere friendship, echoing the depth of emotions that unfolded in the dance of the night.

With each note of the ensuing chorus, your steps took on a newfound extravagance. Across the ancient stones, you and the Jedi glided seamlessly, your voice ascending to meet the night's gentle breeze. The moonlit waltz evolved into a dance of emotions, a symphony of harmonious steps, weaving an unspoken narrative as the hem of your long dress swirled through the air, lightly brushing against both your and Obi-Wan's legs.

"J'remue le ciel, le jour, la nuit. Je danse avec le vent, la pluie. Un peu d'amour, un brin de miel. Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse. Et dans le noise, je cours et j'ai peur. Est-ce mon tour? Revient la douleur. Dans tout Paris, je m’abandonne. Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole."

In an instant, Obi-Wan cast aside all pretenses. Locking his gaze onto your beautiful visage, he guided you into a graceful spin, disregarding everything—reality, his duties, and the Jedi code. All he desired was to be near you and savor the present moment. It wasn't just your enchanting voice; it was the fervor in your dance that wholly captivated him.

As the third verse echoed in the night, you began to toy with your voice, releasing notes that resonated heavenly, traversing the ruins, the cliff, and far beyond. Gathering all your emotions and the love you harbored for Obi-Wan, you expressed them through your high, soaring tones. It was an unmistakable message, one reflected in his eyes. He comprehended every nuance of your expression, the declaration of love entwined with the ache simmering within you, intensified by the realization that your love was forbidden in this world.

"Dans sette douce souffrance. Dont j'ai payé toutes les offenses. Écoute comme mon cœur is immense. Je suis une enfant du monde."

As your message resonated with Obi-Wan, his grasp on your hand and hips tightened, his gaze conveying a myriad of emotions. It spoke volumes about your significance to him, the emotions you stirred within him, and the profound desires hidden beneath the surface.

With the final rendition of the chorus, you infused the last ounce of emotion and power into your voice. Your wide eyes locked onto Obi-Wan as he gracefully twirled you through one pirouette after another.

"J'remue le ciel, le jour, la nuit. Je danse avec le vent, la pluie. Un peu d'amour, un brin de miel. Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse. Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur. Est-ce mon tour? Revient la douleur. Dans tout Paris, je m’abandonne. Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole, vole."

With the final note resonating in the air, Obi-Wan orchestrated a concluding twirl. Your dress cascaded like a radiant veil, exuding an elegance surpassing that of a billion moons and stars. In the midst of the dance, you felt the sense of freedom coursing through your limbs, all while under the careful watch of the Jedi. There was also a sense of relief, because of the secret you have now unveiled.

As the momentum waned, Obi-Wan guided you back with deliberate ease. In one seamless motion, he drew you closer, releasing his hand from your hip. At the last syllable escaping your lips, his now-free hand cradled the back of your head, initiating a kiss.

Without hesitation, you leaned into the tender yet passionate exchange. A cosmic explosion of sensations surged within you as the long-awaited dream became true. Your hands traced over his tunica, threading through his hair, drawing him nearer. In that moment, all you yearned for was the eternity of this embrace.

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cinnamon-galaxies · 5 months

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A Padawan's Confession

Pairings: Obi-Wan x padawan!reader

Warnings/Tags: drama, hurt/comfort, age difference, no (further) romantic interaction

Summary: G/N reader! You and your master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, rest by a campfire overnight during a mission. As your thoughts get heavier each second he senses your trouble and you take the opportunity to announce your decision to leave the order. Because feelings far beyond the boundaries of the Jedi slowly turn you insane as your heart craves for the man who's both the furthest and closest to you....

Words: 1.7k

A/n: This short story is inspired by a one shot I've written many years ago. I hope you like it! Also English isn't my first language so there might be spelling and grammar mistakes in this story!

~~~~~~

The quiet camp fire marked tonight's resting place from your stressful mission. You and your master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, sat on broken trunks, your cloaks pulled around you tightly to keep the warmth of the fire around your bodies. But as quiet as the night seemed to be, your mind was the exact opposite. Hundreds of thoughts raced around and kept your pulse high and your tension at a maximum. It was at the time you eventually should be honest with your master and talk to him about your decision to leave the order. Your thoughts have been resolving around this topic for months now and with each day passing you felt more certain to pervade your decision, as the pressure and pain got worse and became almost unbearable.

While you tried to think about the best way to tell him, your master sensed your inner tension. "You seem troubled, Y/N," he observed. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

You hesitated for a brief moment before you nodded. "Yes. Kinda..."

"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan asked, his neutral facial expression slowly turning into concern. He didn't want you to feel bad. He in fact despised it when you were sad or troubled and that is why he always wanted to be there for you, support you and help you through bad times. Of course it was also his responsibility to care for you but through all the year's you've been his Padawan you grew to be so much more for him, something similar to the daughter he never had. And that is a fact he never actually said out loud but it was a silent truth between the both of you.

You let out a deep sigh but it didn't release any of the heavy pressure pushing down on you. To leave the order was a life-changing decision that couldn't be undone. It could be a big mistake—or the best decision you'll ever make. But after all it hurt a lot to even think about saying goodbye.

"I-" you started but a heavy lump in your throat interrupted you. "I can no longer do this." You automatically lowered your voice and turned your face towards the darkness behind the trees to avoid his glance. You felt tears form in your eyes, so you closed your lids and held your breath. There was almost nothing else as awkward as crying in front of your master, a Jedi in accordance with the code. 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force,' you quoted in your mind realizing you've broken at least half of the five key principles. What a shame it would be if you'd shown your master how much you were guided by your emotions. "I'm sorry master," you said.

Obi-Wan frowned in both confusion and concern. "You're sorry? For what? What is it you can no longer do?" he asked with a calm voice. He was trying hard to hide how much he worried about you right now.

"All of this," you replied. "I made the decision to leave the Jedi order." Out of a sudden, relief flooded your veins as the heavy weight of those words left your soul with every syllable spoken.

Obi-Wan paused. He didn't even realize he forgot to beathe while the shock of your announcement washed over him. "Y/N," he finally managed to press through his lips. "Leaving the Jedi order is a significant decision."

"I know," you replied.

"May I ask why you've come to this conclusion?"

You hesitated. It made you uncomfortable to talk about the reasons. Then again, informing him was the least you could do. You still didn't manage to make eye contact. "I've broken the Jedi principles. Or, to put it better, it gets harder for me to follow them everyday. I can't no longer distract myself from my emotions and act as if I don't feel any affection. My mind starts to think in ways the doctrines of the Jedi dismiss and I'm afraid I'll and up in demise." The tears lingering in your eyes got more but you still managed to hold them back. It was obvious that your master could feel the bunch of emotions cracking through all of these walls you've built up since the beginning of your training. But there was one you could still hide. One particular emotion you hid so well from the outside and the force sensing abilities of the Jedi that you were sure, no matter how many your master could sense, that one particular emotion wasn't one of them.

"Affection, you say?" Your master responded and you nodded. "May I ask what kind of affection troubles you?"

You wish you could say that it was only a deep friendship that guided you to paths different from the force. But it was more. Something way deeper. "It's love," you said.

"Love," Obi-Wan repeated. As he turned his gaze towards the camp fire, you dared to look at him. He was obviously lost in thought. Maybe he was searching for the best response or he was thinking about you, wondering who the person might be that made you struggle this hard you considered to leave the order. "The Force guides us all on unique journeys," he then said. "And there are many that aren't consistent with the Jedi ways. You're correct, affection—especially love—is a bond that leads you on a path in-between dark and light. What could be a strength might at the same time become a weakness. Where love blooms, passion lingers. And where passion lingers, darkness awaits."

You listened to his words. It was the same doctrine you had internalized for years but the way your master chose his words made it sound different this time. You suspected that he hasn't finished his monologue yet so you stood quite, examining his side profile while his attention seemed to be caught be the dancing flames. He in fact hasn't finished yet. "As you should know I won't judge you. It's not your decision if you fall for someone. It's your decision how you deal with it. And if your feelings affect you in a way they could harm you and the Jedi order this might no longer be your journey. So don't be ashamed."

You took a deep breath and turned your gaze to the fire as well. "Thank you," you said and a tear finally released itself from your strong hold and rolled down your cheek.

"For what?"

"For your understanding."

Your master chuckled. "Let me tell you a secret. When I was your age I've been in love as well. Twice. So I know your struggle. But it was my decision to lock those feelings up and stay in the order."

You blinked in shock. Your master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, has once been in love? Well, that was something you would've never expected. But at least he's managed to keep his mind straight. And with that thought you replied: "I don't think I'll ever be able to do the same. It's so hard and the person I'm into is almost always around me." You hesitated, afraid you've said too much. But in the end, it wouldn't matter what you've said the day you announced your decision.

Obi-Wan turned his head to look at you. His blue eyes shimmered in the light of the dancing fire that made his gaze seem even warmer than it already was. "Is it your friend Anakin?" he asked in curiosity and you took a deep breath before you shook your head.

"No. It's not Anakin." And with the words spoken out loud you've finally let the last of all the walls you've built to hide your emotions break into pieces. A warm wave of the force rushed over both of you and the campfire, making it dance uncontrollably fast for a brief moment. You noticed Obi-Wan shift but couldn't certainly say what exactly changed as you allowed him to find out about your feelings for him. Your cheeks immediately turned red and you felt shame rush over you. The emotion behind that wall was the exact reason you wanted to leave. Love for your master, the one who would—and should—never return your feelings. The one who was supposed to care for you, to train you, and who played great value on the Jedi principles. He wasn't even just your master, he was a Jedi master and a member of the high council as well.

Obi-Wan didn't turn his gaze away, his blue eyes now filled with a harsh realization.

Another tear ran down your cheek but you tried your hardest to not look away and keep the eye contact. In the perfect world of your fantasy Obi-Wan would've leaned towards you and captured your lips in a passionate kiss. But this wasn't your fantasy, it was reality. And in reality all he did was sit right in front of you, obviously shocked and speechless—but at the same time comprehending many details of your (probably strange) behaviour in the past. Your stares, the way you laughed particularly often in his presence, you distancing yourself from him after you made a mistake... The ways you've tried to impress him when fighting in battles....

"I'm sorry, Y/N", Obi-Wan finally said with a low voice. He was obviously still speechless.

You shook your head. "No. Please don't say that as if it was your fault. It's mine. And I'm gonna leave as soon as our mission's over."

"It is your decision how you want to spend your life. But I can't offer you what you want."

"I know," you replied with a cracking voice. You still watched his face, his expression, the small wrinkles on his skin that were a subtile proof for the big age difference between you and him. You studied his blue eyes that still kept all of the warmth he's met you with during this conversation. His beard, the neatly cut hair... Everything inside of you screamed for his affection, his love, his heart. You wanted him to touch you, pull you to his chest and kiss you gently. Obi-Wan was everything you've ever wanted and the one thing you'll never get. So you tried to memorize his face as best as you could because soon you'll never see it again....

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