#I’m sorry my input is bad I should have been sleeping an hour ago

[dksw0rld]

Hey girl so I’m really struggling right now....so I was talking to this guy long distance since last June 2021 to a couple days ago when I went and visited him. When we met on bumble he told me how he wanted a relationship, that when I came to Miami he would take me out (he said this many many times). The Miami trip was canceled 3 times due to me getting covid, my friend getting it and just life. He was getting disappointed each time that happened and told him I was sorry and just the facts or the matter that had nothing to do with him...he said I was standing him up. So the last time I finally went in November 2021 alone because I knew I couldn’t cancel on him again and my sister was in the hospital....so I go there he wants to hookup, I was not into it and honestly confused because he said he was going to take me out and he was also working the 2 days I was there so was alone a lot. I asked him why he didn’t take me out and he said he was broke and I’d I didn’t cancel on him other times that wouldn’t be the case....not only did that annoy me but the fact that when we went to Walgreens for me to get tampons and he was going to get condone as he still really wanted to hookup he turned to me and said “they have good frozen meals here..” (he wasn’t joking and idk why he would say that to me....) . We didn’t end up booking up, I just told him I wasn’t feeling very well. He was Disappointed and goes “wow might as well throw these away and just places them on the table...then he left to go to work and then he told me he couldn’t come back because he couldn’t afford the valet or Uber so I was upset not only at how things were but the fact he would leave me....I went on bumble which was probably a bad idea but wanted to do SOMETHING when I was there fun because I’ve never even been to Miami. The guy I met was super sweet, took me out, payed for everything, we went to the beach, he slept on his couch and I slept on the bed. I guess when I was drunk I sent the picture of the guy I met to the other guy and so he knew I met another guy so was upset at me about that saying “how I never should have met anyone else we were fighting a lot, he said he hated me, fuck you” months and months later we’re still talking he wants me to go back tells me how he’s sorry about how he treated me and he knew he was being an asshole and dumbass” how he’ll be with me way more this time, how it’ll be fun,kept on saying how I better not talk to any other guys or we will be done, “you’re mine and only mine” So a couple days ago I go back so nervous and stressed out...he comes to my hotel and tells me right when he sees me that he has to leave at 9pm because he has to go back to help his grandpa who he lives with as he takes care of him so I said ok, he buys the condoms, the shots and drinks and I get so blacked out I pass out on the couch I barely remember anything but remember I threw up on him while hooking up and he wanted to continue to hookup in the shower (I don’t remember if we did!!)...I wake up in the morning to a text from him saying “Hey my love! I tried waking you up but you were in deep sleep! I left ur food on the couch and I came to spend some time with my grandfather! Today was great and I had a blast lmk when you’re up” then two hour sends “hello” then later sends “dam”, try’s to call me but my phone is off! I tried to respond right when I woke up but he blocked me....I tried messaging him and calling him on Snapchat he doesn’t open any or my messages just blocks me. I did meet another guy because I was alone and what does he expect when he does this to me again...I was so upset because I was ALONE and he did this to me again after talking to me for months and telling me to go again...and I’m still so upset by this as it just happened a week ago. Why does he think he can treat me like this have me be alone and expect me not to talk to other guys?? I’ve tried messaging on different things he just blocks me on everything...any advise or input on why he is doing this!?

This was quite a lot, and I'm sorry you had to deal with this but let me tell you something. Although I'm sympathetic of your situation I am not about to sugar coat anything. I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're in your 20s because you traveled to Miami twice alone. You're old enough to know that wasting your time on a dusty is ridiculous.

You asked why he is doing this and my answer is this. I don't give a flying crap as to why and you DAMN WELL shouldn't either. Like is this man serious?! That man is an absolutely horrible person. ANYONE who convinces you to fly out to him (and doesn't help you pay for it), who lies about his intentions, who doesn't communicate that he works the time you're coming and then gets mad when you reach out to someone else and on top of that tries to make you feel weird for not hooking up is not even close to worth your time and I just cannot fathom why you care about what this man thinks or why he's doing what he is.

Baby, you are worth more than the world. You are beautiful and young and are clearly doing well for yourself if you can fly to Miami on your own twice. I need you to practice self love. I need you to be so secure in yourself and your self worth that you immediately walk away from anyone who even hints they don't have good intentions.

You are worth so much more than being upset over a man who couldn't even afford an Uber ride and suggested you eat a freaking warm up dinner from a drugstore... I just cannot fathom being sad about someone like that. I know him treating you that way is hurtful but there are men out there who would lasso the world from outer space to bring to you if it was possible. Please, do not waste your time on a man like that. Who cares why he's acting like that. He's certainly not worth your time and to be honest he's already wasted enough of it! Take the time you need to heal and move on from this bum and never ever let someone waste your time and money like that again.

[corysmiles]

Tommy and Ranboo are tiny axolotl hybrids who live in a small overgrown pawn in the back of a abandoned house, the two primarily survived by jumping out of the water and catching bugs flying overhead or venturing onto land and eating some of the wild berries growing in the backyard

One day a bunch of human show up at the house and start cleaning out all the broken furniture and everything else that was left in the house, the youngest member of the family Tubbo decides to check out the backyard and see how much cleanup they need to do

Tubbo quickly notices the abandoned pond and the extremely dirty water that has some trash floating in it, Tubbo search clean up some of the trash from the water but notices something colorful at the bottom of the water

Its red so Tubbo thinks it's a Coca Cola can and reaches in to grab it, he pulls his hand out with a very terrified looking Axolotl hybrid and gets water sprayed in his face. Tubbo drops Tommy back into the water and quickly runs inside to get a bucket to properly capture the Axolotl and get them out of the possibly polluted water

Tommy and Ranboo are absolutely terrified to now since we've never met a human before and have just realized how small they are compared to one-

Tubbo just carefully starts pulling algae growing on top of the water out trying to see where the Axolotl went so he can put them in the bucket of clean water

(Btw I was thinking the Tubbo's family can be Puffy, Dream, and Quackity but you can change it if you want!)

-Plant

PLANT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

Puffy was worried about how Tubbo would react to moving but luckily he seems really excited about something when they finally start to move in. Even though the house is a mess he happily runs around trying to clean up the pond outside. Quackity is a little annoyed his brother isn’t actually helping with the house, but Tubbo’s too preoccupied with the little axolotl a he found to care :”)

#corydrabbles #plant ask #new au????!??? pog!!! #this is so adorable #I’m sorry my input is bad I should have been sleeping an hour ago #cjwjxnw #but I can’t get over how sweet this is #t!ranboo #t!tommy #g!tubbo #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #axolotl friends au

[thefanficmonster]

Bouquet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having come clean about being single for a very long time now and considering herself completely out of the dating scene, Y/N’s confession is taken and responded to with a ton of kindness, especially from a special someone...

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it was such a joy to write! I’m so sorry for the long wait you had to go through but the fic is finally here and I hope you enjoy reading it! Love, Vy ❤

I roll out of bed with little to no desire to start my day. We haven’t got a scheduled stream for today and the clouds glooming in the sky seem to be promising rain so really what do I have to get up for except that it’s a rule society installed?

Just kidding, I’m basically stalling and that’s all.

So what happened was the streamer gang and I were playing Among Us last night and our conversation during the pause between rounds somehow swerved into relationship territory. I stayed quiet the majority of if not all the time because I had no valid input to offer. 

If you know me you know I’m not one of the performers on the dating scene. I have never really confirmed it with my fans - well, until last night, that is - but I bet they have picked up on that fact considering I’ve been on YouTube for around a decade and have never had a partner. That being said, I’d have to also mention that I have in fact dated but someone but it was before my YouTube era started. Me choosing this career path, which back then was just a hobby, had nothing to do with the relationship ending but it still motivated me to not to actively look for a relationship while I’m still focused on my career. It’s too much work, too much stress and requires a lot of balance I most certainly either don’t have or I don’t have the energy to put in balancing my romantic and professional lives. Luckily, no one’s ever pressured me into finding a significant other, not yet at least, so no societal pressure for me!

But I gotta admit I felt real awkward admitting all this last night.

“Hey Y/N what do you think? You’ve been awfully quiet?“ Rae asks, causing me to jolt in my seat from where I’ve been reading my chat for the past five minutes, my mic muted.

I quickly unmute to reply, blushing ever so slightly, “Um, sorry I was reading my chat. What do I think about what?”

“The gesture of giving flowers to your significant other, is it romantic or a waste of money and plant murder?“ Rae explains, still managing to catch me off-guard with her question.

I ponder what my response should be for a little bit before deciding to level it to a neutral level where I almost sound indifferent, “It is in fact plant murder basically and artificial flowers would definitely be a better gift - plus they’ll last longer.”

“Mhmm yeah that’s true.“ Poki agrees with me, “But there’s still the question of whether it’s a romantic gesture or not. I personally don’t think it’s overrated or cheesy, I actually quite like it. What about you, Y/N?“

And now she’s got me in a real trap that I can’t wiggle out of without speaking my truth. I don’t know where this sudden anxiety around the subject came from but it now resides within me rent free and makes me feel self-conscious and embarrassed of the confession I’m inevitably make.

“Um, I wouldn’t know for certain, I’ve never received flowers myself...“ I say sheepishly, cringing at the sound of my own voice, “It’s not like I’ve dated plenty of people and the one guy I did date wasn’t really romantic or anything, I mean - we were teenagers, after all. But when I think about it in theory I think I’d like the gesture: it’s thoughtful, plus you get a temporary but beautiful piece of décor out of it.“

I’m gonna hope I didn’t sound too pitiful or desperate. Of course I’m not gonna check afterward on the stream cause I’d rather live in the illusion of having sounded humorous rather than be given the confirmation that I didn’t.

“Wait, wait, wait, did you date your last boyfriend like a decade ago?“ Corpse is now the one talking and that makes me feel even more anxious. This is not the impression one would want to give to their crush, is it? Oh well, no turning back now.

“Correct.“ I reply with a laugh that I hope didn’t sound as nervous as it was.

“And you’ve never, like in your whole life, received flowers from someone?“ He sounds astonished which sort of makes me want to shrink up in my shell like a turtle. Too bad I don’t have a shell though. I’m genuinely thinking of the option to rip the router out of the outlet right now to save me the troubles but I’m not that immature. I’m surprised I’m even reacting this way - this topic doesn’t usually bother me at all but now for some reason I’m red as a tomato and shrinking in my chair. 

I know what the obvious answer is but I’d rather die than admit to it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds bad but I really don’t care.“ I make an attempt at changing the subject, swerving it back to the main topic rather than my lack of a love life, “I do, in fact, find the gesture sweet - it adds vibrancy to the relationship just like the flowers would add vibrancy and color to the space they’re put in.“

“Oh my gosh, that’s such a cool analogy!“ Rae gushes, “You’re totally right, it might be an old trick, but it’s aged like fine wine.“

Phew, God bless you Rae.

“Exactly, exactly.“ Corpse agrees as well but I don’t think he’s fully heard what Rae said since he sounds to have fallen in deep thought.

At least I got away with it with only making a SLIGHT nervous wreck of myself.

Yikes, was that horrible, though I don’t people will remember it for long. Sure, my fans have sent me thousands of lovely messages and pictures of bouquets and will maybe continue sending them for another day or two - which I highly appreciate, don’t get me wrong. I’m severely touched by this gesture of theirs and it almost makes me glad I finally ‘came clean’ about my romance-less life - however, it’ll fade overtime. I mean, who the heck cares if I’m single or not?

As I pour the milk over my cheerios which I’ve been snacking on dry for the past half hour as I rifled through the many notifications clogging up my lock screen, I hear the doorbell ring. I’m understandably puzzled by this, seeing as how I never get visitors so that doorbell rings only when I’ve ordered something, be it takeout or a random item off Amazon. However, I can’t remember ordering anything, at least not anything that should be arriving at the moment or even anytime soon - that glow-in-the dark curtain isn’t supposed to arrive until next week.  I make my way to the door, unbothered by the fact I’m still in my pajamas, and take a look through the peephole.

It’s a delivery guy...and he happens to be holding a huge-ass bouquet.

“What the...“ I mutter to myself as I unlock and swing open the door in the blink of an eye, “Hi?“

“Hi there, are you Y/N L/N?“ The delivery guy, who I’ve seen many times before and who I’m on pretty friendly terms with, asks me jokingly, sending a wink my way.

“I sure am.“ I reply, my gaze fixated on the breathtaking flowers he’s holding, “But those can’t be for me, that’s for sure.“

He fishes looks at his clipboard one more time, nodding before he looks back at me, “I double and triple checked, Y/N, they’re for you. Here, have a look if you don’t believe me.” He turns the clipboard  for me to see and he is actually telling the truth. I mean, I doubt he’d have any reason to lie to me but mix-ups happen all the time.

“Um, ok thanks. Sorry for the halt, it’s just...I’d hate to be the recipient of the flowers meant for another girl.” I apologize as I take the bouquet for him, still in awe of the fact I’m the one it was made and meant for and sent to.

I say a quick ‘bye’ to the delivery guy before practically running inside to inspect this bouquet for a card from the sender. I have my guesses: it has to be someone who was present during the stream last night and someone who knows my address. Hopefully it’s someone from my friend group and not a fan who watched the stream and just happens to know my address. I’d still appreciate the gesture, but I’d also install security cameras if that was the case.

Something about the color scheme of the flowers - pink and black - gives me Rae vibes since she constantly teases me about my aesthetics contradicting each other. But then again, Poki does it too so it could be her as well....

Oh...OH GOD IT’S NEITHER OF THEM

                                                               ~ ~ ~

I’ve been sitting here, keeping myself a safe distance from my phone so I’m not the first one to send her a text. So I don’t ask if she got what I sent her. So I don’t ask what she thought of it, how the bouquet looks in her living room, how it smells, how it makes her feel. I have so many questions so that phone is best off at a major distance from me. I’m the one who’s better off with such a huge distance between me and the device, to be perfectly honest.

Was it a bad idea? Should I have slept on it - or just thought about it longer cause sleep and I don’t get along? Should I have at least waited a day or two? Should I-

My phone vibrates with a notification and I practically fly to it from across the room, grabbing it and unlocking it asap. My heart sinks and takes off like a rocket simultaneously when I see I’ve been tagged in Y/N’s Instagram story. I nervously tap the notification that sends me to the picture of the bouquet I sent her with some text written over it.

“Thank you, Romeo ;)“

Somehow that one sentence answers all those aforementioned questions.

Is this what people refer to as butterflies in one’s stomach? Cause it feels significantly more like a crush...oh wait.

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[gubler-me-up]

Dream’s in Motion

Request: Hi!! I was wondering if you could do something where the reader and spencer have been friends for a realllly long time & one night on the plane she ends up falling asleep on him or something and all the sudden it makes him realize his feelings & he’s like oh fuck i really like her and he ends up telling her and idk just something really cute??

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Sorry this took AWHILE to write omg idek what’s wrong with me. I guess doing marketing work is taking all my creative juices away from me because by the end of the day ya girl be exhausted. That being said I’m glad I finally got to publish this cute fluff! Hope you enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: ~fluff~

Content warning: Like one swear word

Word count: 1.7

————-

Spencer walked up to Y/N’s hotel room door to see if she was ready to meet the team downstairs to leave for the jet back to Quantico. He knocked on her door and waited patiently for her to open up. Ever since they became friends five years ago when Y/N joined the team, they’ve made it a tradition to make sure they were both set to leave for the jet to go home.

Y/N opened the door with a huge smile already plastered on her face. She had her to-go back ready in her hand. Spencer smiled and held out his hand to her. She obliged and gave him her to-go bag. From the very beginning he would offer to carry her to-go bag out of courtesy. Before Y/N would refuse to let him carry it because she felt bad but he always insisted he would do anything to make her day easier.

“You’re such a gentleman, Spence. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how sweet you are,” she said as she closed the hotel room door.

He smiled. “You act as if I’m carrying you on my back.”

She giggled. “You might as well be.”

“I would if you wanted me to.”

“I’ll remember that next time I’m too tired to walk to the jet.”

They both laughed as they walked towards the elevator. The rest of the team was probably downstairs in the lobby waiting for them. They were always the last two to arrive which raised eyebrows and raised higher suspicions as to if they were just really good friends.

When they stepped into the elevator, Y/N was telling him something about what she was going to do when she got home but he found himself lost in her eyes. He found himself doing it often lately and felt bad whenever he did because he loved hearing her talk. He loved watching her smile once she remembered the little details in her story she forgot. He loved the excitement in her eyes whenever he had anything to add to her story.

Having Y/N in his life felt like an upgrade to him. They were always there for each other and understood each other deeper than anyone else. He probably spent more hours with her on his days off than he spent alone. The more they saw each other, the happier he was. It was unreal to him because no one person had ever made him feel a sense of euphoria before.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, they both could see the team waiting in the lobby. As they walked up towards them the looks already started to float around. Morgan’s eyebrow squiggled up as he gave Spencer a fascinated look. JJ tried to conceal her smile. Hotch looked at them unimpressed by their tardiness. Spencer and Y/N played every look off as cool as possible instead of trying to defend themselves.

“Nice for you two to finally join us,” JJ said.

“Better late than never,” Y/N said.

“Ten minutes late though?” Morgan asked.

“It’s been 10 minutes?” Spencer asked.

“We’ll discuss your time management skills on the jet. Let’s go,” Hotch said.

“Yes, sir,” they both said.

Spencer sat on the couch reading a book as everyone else on the jet was sleeping. It was the middle of the night by now as they were flying back to the east coast. He didn’t fall asleep like everyone else because someone was keeping him up. Y/N was still fighting sleep as she tried to finish her crossword puzzle next to him. He would quietly chime in here and there to help her out but she wanted to complete one on her own. She was still extremely grateful for his input as her brain slowly shut down.

She yawned for the fifteenth time within the hour. Spencer looked over at her to see her looking blankly at the crossword in front of her. He smiled as he placed his hand on the page. It took her a while to notice which told him she was even more tired than he originally thought.

“Y/N, I think you should get some rest. You’re really tired,” he softly said.

“But I want to keep you company,” she said through another yawn.

He blushed. “You just being by my side is company enough. You don’t have to be awake.”

She looked at him to give him a faint smile as her eyes could barely stay open. Without another word exchanged between both of them, she laid down with her head on his lap. Before she drifted off, she looked up at him with sleepy eyes as he looked at her surprised.

“You’re okay with me sleeping on you right?” She asked.

He nodded his head. “O-of course.”

She smiled one last time before making herself comfortable on his lap again. He picked up the blanket and draped it over her. He looked at her to see she had already drifted away. He felt the flutter in his chest again. He usually felt those flutters when they were alone. Even in a plane full of his team members and friends, she was the only one he focused on.

He put his book down and let out a deep sigh as he thought about this feeling inside of him. He looked at her peacefully sleeping on his lap. He liked how she was comfortable with him and he liked he could be the one to bring her comfort.

He sighed again as he took a moment to think about every time he and Y/N were together. The way she would look at him made him feel like the luckiest man out there. Every time they touched gave him a burst of energy. Her whole presence made him feel as if he was on another planet every time.

‘Oh fuck, I really like her,’ he thought to himself.

When he finally came to terms with it in his mind, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it the whole jet ride. He didn’t even attempt to continue reading. No amount of words in his favourite book could distract him from the feelings he had finally come to terms with.

He looked down at her again. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face ever so gently so she wouldn’t wake up. Even in her sleep she smiled at his touch. He felt his face radiate as he saw her small smile appear and fade as she drifted back off to dreamland.

He stared out into space as he thought about her. He thought about how he would properly express himself to her without embarrassing himself. He didn’t even know if she felt the same fluttering feelings towards him. He pondered the whole way back to Quantico. Was telling her worth risking their friendship? Would she even reciprocate her feelings back to him? He understood if she didn’t but he secretly wished she would.

After a two hour flight, they were finally back in Quantico. It was the middle of the night so everyone was in a hurry to get in their cars and make their way home to get a decent night’s sleep. Spencer and Y/N walked to her car together as they hadn’t parked so far away from each other. Even though she was still tired, her profiler senses were still on point as she saw Spencer gripping the strap of his satchel tightly.

“Is everything okay, Spence?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said.

“I didn’t sleep on you too hard, did I?” She joked.

“No, not at all,” he chuckled.

“So, what’s up? You think I don’t notice you gripping onto your satchel for dear life or your nervous expression?” She asked.

Spencer immediately stopped gripping his satchel strap so tight and fixed his nervous expression. Well, he tried to. Y/N raised an eyebrow as she wasn’t buying his attempt to avoid her questions.

“Are you trying to avoid answering me?” She asked.

“No, I would never,” he said.

“Seems like you would since you’re doing just that right now,” she said.

“It’s just…it’s hard to express,” he said.

Y/N looked at him in shock. “Dr. Spencer Reid finding it hard to express himself? Unheard of. It must be something really complex.”

“You can say that,” he said.

As they reached Y/N’s car, she grabbed his hand which had found itself back on his satchel strap. She held his hand close to her and he could feel his palms getting sweaty. He felt his face getting hot again as well as she looked deep into his eyes with that smile he loved so much plastered on her face.

“Well, you can attempt to express it to me,” she said.

At the moment she said those words, Spencer found his hands grip the side of her face and pulled her into a kiss. Y/N didn’t even pull away to question it and wrapped her arms around his neck to let him know the kiss was well received. As they parted lips, Spencer looked at her with a face coloured deep red. Y/N giggled at how flustered he looked.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know-”

“That was really hot. Like really, really hot.”

Spencer looked at her in shock. “Really? It wasn’t weird or awkward?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long while but I’ve been too chicken to do it.”

“Really? You like me too?”

“Like? I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, good doctor.”

He chuckled. “Maybe we can discuss us over dinner sometime?”

“Only if we can do more of this.”

Y/N embraced Spencer in another quick kiss to seal the deal. When they parted Spencer couldn’t help smiling widely as he looked at her. He stroked her cheek as he got lost in her eyes.

“We can definitely do more of this,” he said.

“Finally,” they heard JJ and Morgan shout.

They turned to see they were both walking by on the other side. They gave them two thumbs up each with overjoyed looks on their face. Spencer and Y/N giggled as they watched how excited they were for them. They both knew they weren’t the only people who were waiting for a move to be made.

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512​ @laneybobeczko-g​

MASTERLIST

#spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #dr.spencer reid #Spencerreid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #mgg fluff #mgg #Matthew Gray Gubler #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

[buckyownsmylife]

daddy issues - chapter xv

The one where Ransom doesn’t feel ready to become a father, but he should have thought about it before sleeping with a complete stranger.

When Ransom’s latest one night stand lets him know that he’s going to become a father, he finds himself looking for the qualities he never believed to have so he can become the parent he never got to witness as a child.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

A/N for this chapter: this is 3.2k of unedited drama and I am so fucking proud of it. I wrote this entire thing today, and it’s easily one of the pieces I’m most proud of. So I haven’t been able to fit a proper conversation between the reader and Harlan - I couldn’t make the scene justified if his presence was there, since he does seem to be the one thing that keeps the family on the line - but that means I had some ideas of how I can make up for it in the future! Extra chapter? Perhaps. We are approaching the end though. I only have two more chapter planned for this fic and an epilogue. We’ll see how that goes!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Hey!” I got into the car excited to see him again, but I tried to reason with myself that it was all because of his visit to his grandfather’s publishing company, of course. I wanted to know how that went and I was curious as to what Harlan’s plans were, that was mostly it.

The fact that I had genuinely missed the man by my side after spending just four hours away from him had very little to do with it, or so I tried to tell myself. I didn’t know how to deal with depending so much on someone yet.

But I was trying to.

Ransom’s silence alerted me that something was different. I stopped trying to fix myself to look to the side and find him staring out the window, face expressionless and eyes void of any sentiment.

“Ransom, what’s wrong?” Reaching over, I squeezed his thigh to get his attention, and he jerked as if he was genuinely surprise by my presence in the small vehicle. “You look stressed,” I clarified, eyebrows furrowed in worry as I reached over to push away a strand of hair that had fallen out of place.

He just stared at me for a while and still I couldn’t read what he was thinking. Was he mad at me? Had I done something wrong? After what felt like eternity, he sighed, gripping the steering wheel as he looked on his lap and admitted, “I’m gonna have to go to this family dinner on Friday.”

Immediately, I breathed deeply in relief, suddenly realizing just how worried I actually was that his mood had something to do with me. But then I was reminded of the little that Ransom had told me about this family - even that little felt like too much.

I could only imagine the anxiety he was feeling, and my heart ached to soothe him as best as I could. “Do you want me to go with you?” I asked, running my digits over his nape calmly, keeping my voice as soft as possible to help him relax.

Still, his head snapped up so he could meet my eyes, his wide as two saucers as he struggled to process what I’d said. “… You’d do that?” He sounded so surprised, so genuinely shocked by my offer, that I couldn’t stop myself from giggling, taking both of his hands on mine and squeezing them gently.

“Of course I would, honey.” Ransom’s eyes were so soft as they stared into mine, even as my heart doubled its size in its effort to reach out for his, I found myself justifying, “You went with me to see my parents!”

The way his smile dropped at my explanation had me feeling cold and empty, desperate to see him look at me the same way he was doing only seconds ago.

“Besides,” I forced myself to admit it, trying not to sound as breathless as I felt while I opened my heart to him. “I-I don’t want you to go through that alone. I wanna be there for you, like you were for me.”

Immediately, I felt rewarded on my effort to open up by the smile he gave me. “Thank you, baby.” He squeezed my hand this time, and when he leaned over and connected our lips on a quick peck, my heart skipped a beat.

I was in love with this man.

Ransom’s P.O.V.

I sighed as we stood in front of my grandfather’s front door, trying to adjust my sweater that suddenly felt uncomfortable. Beside me, she seemed to be doing the exact same thing, fingers pulling on the end of the dress she was wearing, making me smile.

The dress highlighted her bump - it was now undeniable that she was pregnant and even if I’d never been particularly attracted to women in this stage of life, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her now.

It was like she shined from within. Her beauty amazed me, and so when she noticed me staring and stopped fiddling with her clothes, straightening herself up to ask, “Do I look okay?” I had to stop myself from laughing.

“Yes.” More than okay. “But are you sure you won’t be cold?” We’d gone through this argument before leaving the house, so I was prepared to see her rolling her eyes as she reached out to take my hand in hers.

“Unless your family has the habit of dining outdoors regardless of the weather, I think we’ll be alright.” I chuckled, rubbing my thumb on the back of her hand, but it sounded nervous even to my own ears. It didn’t surprise me that she noticed it. “Are you ready?” She questioned, voice in that soothing tone she used whenever she noticed my stress.

“Not at all,” I admitted, but in all honesty, the prospect of joining my family for dinner didn’t seem as bad as it usually did. Not with her by my side.

“I’m here for you.” Hearing her say those words meant more to me than I was able to properly express at that moment so I just stared at her, taking in the fact that this incredible person actually cared about me.

“Just… don’t leave me alone, okay?” Her immediate nod had me smiling. It prompted me to once again lean over and connect our lips, only this time, when I tried to pull away, she kept me close with her hand on the back of my neck.

Who knows where this kiss might have led us if the door hadn’t open right at that moment, revealing my lousy uncle who stared from me to her with wide eyes?

“… She’s pregnant? With your baby?” A groan was all I could muster as a response, tugging her into the house with me. “When were you going to tell your family?”

“For fuck’s sake,” I cursed, looking around the living room for the bar. “Where’s the goddamn alcohol?” There was no way I’d be able to survive this night without it, as much as I wanted to be supportive of Y/N.

“I think that’s a bottle of scotch,” I heard her whispering next to me, pointing towards a corner of the room, and I sighed in relief at her understanding.

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

An hour into the evening and I had already understood why Ransom was the way that he was - and why he liked his grandfather so much, despite how he felt about the rest of the family.

Harlan was gentle where all of his children were… prickly. In fact, he was the only one who addressed me at all, but I found myself feeling grateful for it, since when the dinner actually started, I wanted the rest of the family to forget about me completely.

“I am so sorry,” Harlan apologized, rubbing his hands nervously as he stared at the rest of the family who was walking towards the dining room. “I sleep early, everyone knows that, but this is the only time they could all gather and since they didn’t know you were coming…”

I waved away his apologies, offering him a hug as I wished him good night. “Just as long as you’ve had your dinner, Harlan. Thanks for welcoming me into your home.”

He accepted my embrace easily, taking advantage of the proximity to whisper in my ear, “Just hang on to him, dear. I promise it’ll be worth it.” I smiled when we parted, nodding in confirmation to his words.

“It already is,” I assured him, but he only sighed.

“Make sure to remember that during dinner…” Now I understood why. It started with a simple question, one of the maids offered me some meat, and when I hesitated to answer…

“God, are you daft, girl? Have you never eaten lamb?” My eyes widened in surprise, but before Ransom could have the chance to throw himself at his mother, I just squeezed his thigh.

“I was going to ask her if there was any oregano in the sauce. It’s been making me feel sick.” I didn’t need to add why - the reminder of my situation, of what led me to be there with them in this dining room was very clear in me.

And still, that didn’t stop them.

“That’s a pretty necklace…” Ransom’s father commented before we could even grab a bite. I chuckled to myself, immediately catching onto what he wasn’t saying.

“Thanks, I got it at a little boutique back home. It was a gift for myself after I got my first paycheck.” I could feel Ransom’s gaze on me, the waves of pride rolling from him in waves. It made me smile, but it was just the calm before the storm.

“Ransom, have you contacted a lawyer?”  This question came from his uncle’s wife, Donna - I think that’s what she was called. Not that she tried to introduce herself to me or anything, but Harlan made sure I knew everyone’s name as soon as I stepped inside the house.

“Why?” Ransom’s tone was vicious and his squinted eyes alerted everyone that he was prepared for a strike, but the fact that he still hadn’t anticipated what was coming almost made me laugh.

Even Donna herself hesitated, unbelieving that he was going to make her say it. “There’s no way you’re that stupid.” And just like that, the doors to hell were opened up.

Ransom’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but then again, was I really surprised?

“You should make sure to draw a prenup,” Donna insisted, while the rest of the family pretended not to hear, undoubtedly coming up with their own ways to insult Y/N. “Something that will assure only your kid has access to your money.”

I could hear Y/N quietly laughing to herself next to me, but while she was able to find the irony in the situation amusing, all I felt was blinding rage.

“God, do you even hear the shit you say? I never asked for your input, this, right here, is precisely why I didn’t tell any of you all about my baby.” I saw Y/N flinch from the corner of my eyes before I heard my mother’s fork drop against the precious porcelain dish she was pretending to eat from. I knew this was the sorest topic of discussion for her. I knew this was why she had been pretending Y/N wasn’t even there, hadn’t even been invited to dinner with me.

“Fair enough,” she spoke, lying back against her chair as she finally raised her eyes to meet mine. “I don’t know if we even should learn anything about this child, considering it most likely isn’t even yours.”

It was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice over me. Y/N was oddly quiet now, seemingly as frozen as me - and when I realized that, my anger returned with twice its power.

“Watch your fucking mouth,” I warned, just as my mother retorted, “Don’t you talk like that to me.” I didn’t even have the chance to talk back when she stroke again. “You fuck so many ransom desperate chicks, I’m surprised this is the first you knocked up.”

This was as insulting to her as it was to me, and it also struck a chord in me because of how I feared this was just reinforcing Y/N’s views of me. “Don’t say shit like that,” I threatened, to no avail. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

“Ransom…” Her sweet voice tried to intervene, but I was too far gone to hold myself back now. I couldn’t stand the thought that I was hurting her because I was the reason she was here in the first place.

“You know nothing about her, and yet you feel comfortable judging her,” I continued, ignoring her completely. “She’s a lawyer, actually. You would know it if you had even bothered to talk to her. If there was ever the need for a prenup, I’d have her draw it.”

Maybe they thought I’d stop at that - I thought so myself, until I realized there was still so much I wanted to get out, and I was going to do that now.

“And you know what? I trust her more than I trust you, and I came out of you. So maybe you should consider that before you attack the one person I try to introduce to my family.” I hated everything about this. I hated how they still managed to get to me, how the fact that my own mother, who I didn’t even respect, still managed to make me feel inadequate about the one thing in my life that made me excited.

I knew I’d always lose with them. They just had this way of inciting the beast in me - they brought out the worst in me, and I felt helpless to fight it.

“Okay, so she’s not some random skank,” my uncle oh-so-helplessly interrupted, immediately making me want to punch him in his stupid face. “But this just means she’s the one playing you.”

“Oh, shut up!” I threw my hands up, pushing my chair away from the table, fully intended to storm out of the room until Meg was the one who stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Did you even get a paternity test, Ransom?” She seemed almost uncomfortable to voice it, eyes darting from me to Y/N, but I could read her apologetic smile perfectly.

She just didn’t want someone else to get Harlan’s attention and interest because that would potentially mean less money to each and everyone of the people in this room, as he’d add one more person to his aid list.

My father took advantage of what Meg said, waving in her direction. “Don’t you know how important this family is? How quickly she could rise in any job because of a connection to us?”

My mother scoffed, finally ready to interfere again. “Knowing she’s actually smart leaves me even more surprised that you’ve relented and decided to become someone’s little plaything until this baby pops out. I’m assuming a few months with a screaming kid and you’re just gonna abandon her anyway. Which is fine by me, I won’t have to pretend to be a grandmother for long.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

All I could think was how grateful I was that I had accompanied him to this dinner tonight. As I watched his chest heaving with fury, I could not imagine how he would have felt having to deal with all of this on his own.

“Ransom,” I tried to catch his attention, pulling him back to his seat. “Ransom, it’s okay,” I tried to appease him, but he was too fucking gone to care.

“No, it’s not okay, he pushed my hand away, getting up from his chair to lean over the table, both hands on top of it as he stared at his mother.  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He yelled, making me flinch, although Linda hardly seemed bothered by it.

Then, much to my surprise, Ransom straightened up, running a hand through his hair as an emotionless chuckle escaped him. “No, you know what? You’re right. You’re not gonna be a grandmother. I’m gonna be a father, Harlan’s gonna be a great-grandfather, but that’s it. I’m not gonna keep taking your shit anymore, Linda, you know why? Even if this child wasn’t mine, I’d still want her and this kid.”

My heartbeat pumped out of control as he continued, “She’s not just someone who’s carrying my child. I care about her. And if you can’t respect her, than I guess I was right in keeping this pregnancy from you.”

I held my breath as Ransom apparently caught his, my head swirling with the different emotions running through me - my infatuation for this man, who had so fiercely defended me from his entire family, the adrenaline from witnessing such a vicious argument.

I truly believed this would be the end of it. I didn’t know where they could go from here - that was, of course, until Linda decided to attack him.

“Oh, and you think you’re going to be so great with it?” My blood boiled when her words turned against her own son so easily. Attack me and my dignity? That was okay, these people didn’t know me.

But seeing her attack Ransom was just too much for me.

“Do you think she’ll want to keep you around once she realizes she’ll be raising two children with you to weigh her down?” Ransom visibly faltered, like she had slapped him, and that’s when I had enough. “You’ll never be able to give her the emotional support that she needs and you know that.”

I rose to my feet at that, holding onto my lower back as I softly slapped Ransom’s back in an attempt to calm him down. “I got this, babe.” He was so surprised - and still so hurt by his mother’s statements - that he didn’t even try to stop me. In fact, I think he didn’t even realize what was going on until I turned to Linda and started talking.

“Do you really think that poorly of your son that you can’t believe he has anything to offer in a relationship?” Now she was the one who looked up at me with an expression that looked like I had physically hurt her.

“Is it that unbelievable to you, that someone would be able to like him for him?” She didn’t seem to be able to find anything to answer to me, and when I turned to Richard, I was also met with silence.

Ransom’s P.O.V.

“Well, I do,” she announced, like it was the single most obvious thing, the simplest fact to deduce in the world, while I stood back watching her with my mouth hanging open. “I like him enough to be willing to open up to him even if one day he might leave me because to me, he is worth any possibility of future pain.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I’d never had anyone defend me like this, not even Harlan - not even my parents, when I was a kid and the bigger children decided to bully me.

No, back then all I got was a talk about how “real men don’t cry” and if my father ever caught me cowering from someone else again he’d give me a real reason to be afraid.

“And I do say possibility,” she continued, not having raised her voice for even a second and still to effortlessly able to catch the attention of everyone in the room, assure herself the ground to speak her mind without the fear of interruptions. “Because Ransom’s actions have never given me any reason to think that outcome is even remotely probable.”

“So maybe you think about your own opinions of your son’s character and see if they don’t reflect your own more than they reflect his actions.” She turned around after that, tiny hand encircling my wrist as she began to yank me in the direction of the front door.

“Let’s go.”

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale reader #my series #ransom drysdale reader insert #ransom drysdale reader inserts #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale series #ransom drysdale writings

[taecalikook]

Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : 32.780 (one-shot)

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol enjoy! 

=====================================

Working directly after you graduate in one of the biggest fast moving consumer goods companies in the country might be the dream. While to an extent it might be true, you realize that you have so many things to sacrifice—including your sanity and personal life.

So one dawn you spent all night working on the procurement report you have to submit to the finance team in just five hours, you are so distressed you bawl your eyes out so hard you feel like it is about to fall off. You were too loud to the point that Namjoon, your roommate, was awakened and had to console and accompany you, finishing the report for another hour until you could finally sleep.

And the next morning when you wake up after only three hours of sleep, you have to drive early in the morning to submit the signed reports to the finance team. You are not ecstatic to say the least. Not only that you had the worst night and don’t have the time to conceal your excessive eye bags, you have to submit the physical report to the most notorious, annoying person to ever exist—Jeon Jungkook.

You don’t even understand why destiny had to be that cruel to pair you with Jungkook for a tad bit too many of your tasks. He is annoying, self-centered, impolite, and probably the worst person that you have ever worked with. And it is quickly proven when you are going to submit the report and stride to his desk, finding he is still calmly typing on the laptop. Irritated by how divine he looks at eight in the morning compared with your hideous self, you slam the report right beside his laptop.

“Here it is. And once again thank you for making me change every fucking numbers in that report right the night before.” You hisses, folding your arms in front of your chest. He looks up to you with a grin, his fingers swiftly opening the report.

“I’m sorry, dear but if you wanna complain, you can directly do it to your boss.” He chuckles lightheartedly, and you roll your eyes in disgust. How can he still be this composed is beyond you. “And besides, it’s your team who mistakenly input the data. How is it my fault?”

“I can actually give you an essay for that as an answer, but I don’t want to violate the rules since we are now in working hours.” You harshly respond, tapping your feet impatiently while his eyes are skimming the report.

Another five minutes until Jungkook closes the report with a loud tap and smirk in mirth at your obvious disconcert. “So is that an invitation for a meet-up outside working hours?”

You hiss after hearing such an expected sentence coming out from the jerk. He really is that self-centered, and it shouldn’t have baffled you by now. “I hope you are very well aware that you are annoying and I don’t like you.”

“I am aware of that, beautiful. You have explicitly reminded me in every email chain—better tell me something I don’t know.”

“Nah, I don’t have anything good to say for you.” You scoff and stomp your heels around to leave him behind. The fury is still booming inside your head, so you repetitively let go of your breath, trying to detox your mind of his annoying, but forsakenly handsome face of that jerk out of your mind.

After arriving at your desk, you throw your belongings on the desk and sit on your seat after sighing loudly. It immediately attracts the attention of one of the team peers who sits beside you, Hoseok.

“Wow. Why the long face, Y/N? It’s Friday, lighten up a little.”

“I literally cannot ‘lighten up’ if I keep on working with Jeon Jungkook. Is there any way I can just… not see him or contact him even just for a day? Or even better, forever?!” You hiss while raucously opening your laptop. Hoseok chuckles in amusement.

“Y/N, I don’t know why you are so against the guy. Yes, I know he might be a little cocky—”

“A little?!” You immediately cut Hoseok, but he has been in this conversation too many times before to know that he needs to continue before you begin your patriotic speech of why Jungkook doesn’t deserve anything good in his life.

“—but he is not that bad. People, especially girls like the guy. He is great looking, charming and good with words. One of the best in his team too, even with such short time joining the company I even heard he might be promoted soon. I think you should give him a chance.” Hoseok shrugs.

You huff and stare at Hoseok in heavy betrayal painted in your face. “That’s not going to happen, Hoseok. Yes, I know people might be blind and think so highly of that cocky ass jerk, but you are my friend and should be educated about not seeing one person only by the assumption of other people. Jungkook is not as good as everyone thinks he is.”

“But why? I know you, Y/N. And I know this is not hatred only based on work—there is something else that happened.” Hoseok calmly speaks his mind, but it successfully throws you off guard. Not that you want to admit it, you are well aware that the dislike you got for the guy is not majorly caused by professional work. But you’d rather bite your hand off rather than voluntarily telling it to someone else.

Seeing how silent you have become, Hoseok immediately turns aghast. “Just a shot in the dark... Did you sleep with this guy before?”

The thought immediately puts you to shame and your face turns vermillion. God, how can he say that?! “What are you saying?!” You squeal in alarm, and you do realize you are too shocked to even speak clearly right now. Damn Hoseok and his outstanding deduction skill! “You are talking nonsense now, Hobi. Why-why would—fuck this I’m going to the restroom.”

You can hear Hoseok's distinctive laughter behind you when you stride towards the restroom, and the desire to knock your head to the wall is too much. You are literally fucked.

*

After working hours, you are finally able to escape the office and ask Namjoon to accompany you and eat in your favorite steak restaurant near both your offices. Namjoon looks at you munching on your steak like a starved woman while silently sipping his glass of red wine.

“Well, I never understood how people say they can get full only by seeing someone else eat, but I kinda get it now.”

You glare at him and hiss, stabbing the steak with your fork in pique. “Stop bothering me! I hate it. I hate everything! Work sucks, life sucks, everything sucks. And I literally don’t have any friends to hangout on friday night beside my own roommate whom I see nearly 24/7. I really had no life beside work it’s embarrassing—”

Namjoon winces, and you immediately halt every movement and stare at him in shock. You know that gaze. It literally screams apology and regret.

“About that…”

You gasp and smash your utensils in the table that few other people are glancing weirdly your way, but you cannot care enough about those prodding eyes. “No! You can’t do this to me, Namjoon! You are ditching me tonight, aren’t you?!”

He grimaces. “I’m sorry, Y/N but I promised the guys for drinking tonight. It’s already planned since god knows when, I can’t bail on them.” You sigh, massaging your aching temple. Noticing how upset you’ve been—probably due to the possibility of ending the stressful weekend only in your pajamas watching bad tv shows, Namjoon quickly continues. “But you can come if you want! We would love to have you there.”

You suddenly put your hand together, moving closer to Namjoon in vivid interest. There’s a possibility to drink your pain away tonight and you are all down for it. “I would love to! I am so stressed lately, I desperately need an outlet. I am going crazy for this work and another second just sitting around I will go mad. And I would love to hangout with the guys! It’s Seokjin, Hoseok, and the others right?!”

“Yeah… about that.” Namjoon’s hesitance is too obvious that you immediately squint your eyes in suspicion. “Yes, I’m with those guys. But there is one additional person joining us and… you won’t like it.”

You giggle at his concern, easily shrugging it away. “Who? I don’t think so, Namjoon. Don’t underestimate me, I may not be as friendly or outgoing as you are, but I can manage to meet new people well and—”

“It’s Jeon Jungkook.”

You immediately close your eyes and heave a breath, your fingers are gripping hard on the edge of the table until Namjoon literally had to move his chair a step back out of fright. It is not the first time he had to face your immeasurable wreath, and it is literally not a good sight he’d do anything to avoid it to happen ever again.

“Why?! In what circumstances would you ever hang out with that bastard?!”

“It just happened! Jimin is friends with the guy, both are from the same department as well. He is new and nice—to us, at least.” He quickly adds before you go into a screaming match yet again. “It’s harmless! And he needs friends too, Y/N. He is new in the city, and doesn't have many friends. I still have no idea how you can even hate the guy when he literally just entered his four months in town.”

You look up to Namjoon aloofly. Jungkook has no friends? What happened to the jerk you knew a few years back? He seemed to be doing well with his bunch of jerks he called as friends. “Pssh—I don’t really care about that. Just do whatever you want!” You childishly pout and continue in stabbing your steak. You know that with Namjoon you can always count on him being a brother that would gladly endure your annoying traits and childishness.

“Hey, I am sorry. Don’t be mad, okay? What if we get ice cream tomorrow, hmm?” He kindly persuades and then you are unable to prolong your fake burst. There is no way you can stay mad at him, as he is literally a heaven-sent angel to you. You don’t even know how you can stay sane if it weren’t for your kind roommate.

“M‘kay. But you’re paying and I am taking home a litre of shooting star ice cream.”

Namjoon sighs and you giggle at his easy forfeit. “You are neither easy on the eyes nor to my wallet. I hope you understand how generous I am to still want to participate in this friendship.”

“By the way, have you seen VoE email this afternoon?” Namjoon nonchalantly asks, smiling to the waitress that places his own steak. You meekly shake your head, cause ain’t nobody got time to read another email from the Voice of Employee team. You already arranged your inbox neatly and automated those emails to be placed inside the folder which named ‘emails i probably will never read ever in this lifetime’. “I shouldn’t have asked, of course you haven’t.” He continues, unimpressed and you grin devilishly at that.

“So, they announced the new employee engagement event. This year’s event is kind of a blind pen pal thingy that is arranged by Jimin.” Namjoon explains while cutting his steak in boxes. “Albeit lame, I thought it was kind of interesting. You should join, you know?”

“Pen pal?” You scrunch your eyebrow. The idea is not appalling even a little to you. “Really? What year does he think it is?”

“It could be fun! You know it must be nice meeting new people across the company. Funny that they also recommend the participant to hide their identities and stay anonymous while chatting at least for the first few weeks.”

“What? That’s so lame! Why do they have these kinds of things?!” You giggle and shake your head in.

“Actually, because people like you, Y/N. You said yourself that you had no friends and life outside work. It could be great to meet someone new and talk freely, even in the company. It’s also good that it’s anonymous in the first weeks so people won't be judgy and busy talking about work stuff and making friends instead.” Namjoon replies back and you pretend hurt at the truth shoved at your face.

“Ouch! That hurts.” You jokingly wince but nonetheless shrug. “I think it kinda made sense, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Oh, come on! It can't be that bad.” Namjoon groans at your stubbornness. “You know you have to pick an employee engagement event. If you choose to go with your boss for the fishing competition event when you know he’ll talk about work all the time, I’ll gladly say go for it. And you literally can’t even boil water, there’s no way you’ll be joining the ‘masterchef’ event. Or that singing competition! Are you kidding me? No way.”

You sigh at the reminder since Namjoon is indeed correct. There’s no way you’d be joining the other engagement events since you are talentless in nearly any other area, and whilst pretending you can cook might be interesting, the possibility of burning the whole kitchen is not since you are not risking the lives of others because of your carelessness. And singing is the one you already gave up on. You are not embarrassing yourself and be the joke of the year in front of your boss and colleagues.

“Gosh..I hate it when you are correct. I’ll think about it later, okay?” You frustratedly hiss, ruffling your hair in distress. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

After another half an hour chatting while you finish your food, you and Namjoon quickly pay with another dramatic debate of which one of you will pay. After humorlessly swearing that you will twist his figurine if he still insists on paying, you easily win the debate and pay instead.

“So, are you going straight to the bar?” You inquire after walking out of the restaurant. Namjoon hums and swiftly picks the phone from his pocket, checking his friend’s current whereabouts.

“Nope, I think they should be here anytime soon, but—”

“Namjoon! Y/N!”

Both of your eyes quickly divert to three guys coming your way. It’s Jimin’s jovial voice calling your name, Hoseok beside him and… Jungkook. The huff instinctively comes out of your mouth after noticing the guy wearing a blue navy buttoned up shirt who irritatingly still looks too good for him. Noticing that Jungkook’s intense gaze is never diverted from you, you quickly shift your face somewhere else.

“You guys finished the dinner?” Jimin asks and you nod with a smile. “Ah, long time talking to you again, Y/N! I am sad we don’t get to work together again.”

You giggle, definitely sensing the irony in his sentence. The fact that he is assigned to another project in Finance was the biggest turning hill in your career, as it was also the point you were introduced to Jeon Jungkook, as the new hire who replaced him and whom you would be working closely with. You don’t even want to remember how stricken and betrayed you felt at that time.

“Yup, true.” You quickly smile and clearly avoid both Jungkook whom you detect is still staring at you and Hoseok who is literally glancing at Jungkook staring at you. This is getting ridiculous and you detest each awkward second spent with these men.

“Hey! You guys know that we are sending the last reminder for choosing an employee event!” Jimin suddenly chirps and you wince. “I noticed you guys haven’t been picking yours.”

“Last reminder? I thought it was just announced this afternoon.” Namjoon innocently asks while scratching his temple. Jimin instantly sighs in distress.

“I began sending it two weeks ago, Namjoon. Damn it!” He hisses and Namjoon immediately points at you.

“Y/N didn’t even read the email!” You slap his shoulder quickly in embarrassment. Jimin looks at you in disappointment and you smile, inevitably guilty for him.

“You guys are such a pain in the ass. I’ll be waiting for your emails monday morning. And please do pick the pen pal option arranged by me!” He singsongs proudly. You nod dubiously. “There’s a lot in store and I can guarantee you it would be very fun!”

You are still nodding, before looking to Namjoon. Freaking Jungkook is still reading you like you are a book, so you need to head out fast before anything unwanted happens. “So, I think I’ll head out first. You guys have fun—”

“Let’s go together! I parked in our usual.” Namjoon says and you briskly nod, your legs are desperate to put distance between you and Jungkook’s intense and unnecessary stare. You bite your tongue to hold yourself from snapping. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy?!

“Namjoon, Jungkook is going with you, he didn’t bring his car. Hoseok is pooling with me, we need to stop somewhere first.” Jimin nonchalantly mentions but you are immediately struck. Why?! Why would Jungkook pool with Namjoon? It means that you are going to spend another five minutes walking to your car parked in the basement where you’ll have to spend an elevator ride with him. Ugh, even the thought repulses you.

“Let’s go. Seokjin and Yoongi are already on the way to the bar and ten bucks say Yoongi is cranky as fuck now.” Hoseok wriggles his eyebrows at you. You reponds by mouthing him curse words as you know what he is implying. He is clearly having fun at your misery.

“Y/N, let’s go.” Namjoon quickly intercepts your clear avoidance for Jungkook by pulling you by the elbow. He gestures Jungkook to follow behind the two of you.

It was only uncomfortable silence even inside the lift that descends to the parking lot. You are this close to Jungkook, but you are still feeling his wary glances on your skin. It is too much of a burden and your last string snaps, unable to hold yourself.

“Is there something on my face?” You spit at him. Jungkook immediately looks away. Instead of answering with another trash reply, he decides to stay silent. Well, that’s new.

“So, tomorrow we need to choose an employee event. Can I sign you up for the pen pal one?” Namjoon asks suddenly, probably trying to take your minds off things, especially the fury you have for Jungkook.

“Namjoon, I don’t think so. At this rate I think I’ll just join that fishing one.”

Suddenly, an unexpected voice behind you is heard. “I don’t know, but they say fishing needs patience and you clearly are lacking that one, Y/N.”

You immediately throw your head back and glare at Jungkook. He nonchalantly looks back like he did not just diss you. “The fuck you say?!”

“I said what I said. I thought you’d know that by now.” He smiles civilly, and you just know he is the one begging you to snap and scratch your claws at him.

“Come here you little shit—“

Namjoon instantly holds you by the waist, stopping all your movement. “Y/N, don’t! Let’s go now.” He reliably holds you and leads you back to your car until Jungkook is safely out of your sight.

“Y/N, enough. It doesn’t matter. Just go home and take some rest.” He persuades and you have to take multiple breathes in and out to calm yourself. “I know you are angry but please don’t run him with your car.” He jokes, but you immediately form a chilling smirk with your lips.

“That’s a great idea, actually.” You vigorously pat your wheels.

“Y/N, I was joking, please—“

You giggle at his clear fright. “I’m joking too. I’m okay, Namjoon. He was just being a jerk again. I got used to it. That’s not even the most hurtful thing he said to me. I’m fine.”

Namjoon heaves a breath and moves to pat your head with a grin. “You gave me a fright, you fool. Drive save, okay? Let me know when you’re home.”

You hum and Namjoon moves to close your door. You move your car and catch Jungkook standing on the side. He was waving at you with a condescending smile, the one you answer by flipping him off.

*

It’s been nearly two in the morning. You are exhausted, but your body is still too much alive to be sleeping right now. At times, your body is still accustomed to your college routine when you’d only be sleepy when there’s still so much to do. Usually at these times, you would be watching movies with Namjoon, commenting on every single thing you can comment about the movie while he’d do anything to shut you up.

Already going to the sixth episode of your netflix series, you glance at your phone. Speaking of Namjoon, you notice that he hasn’t given you any signs of going back home. He always does, especially when drinking out with friends. The thought suddenly scares you that something might have happened to him, so you quickly dial his number.

Three beeps and finally someone picks up. “Hello? Namjoon? Where are you? Are you not coming home? If you’re not you should’ve told me sooner!”

An incoherent groan is heard along with a faint voice of someone you’d rather not mention. Another seconds of silence until an abrupt deafening, slurry voice is heard. It’s still him. Jeon Jungkook. “Y/N, can you help us? Namjoon passed out and I am not completely sober enough to drive. Come here and get us, please?”

“Ugh, get a taxi! It’s freaking two in the morning, I don’t want to go.” You groan, even if inside you are contemplating. Namjoon is drunk, and he brought his car with him. You’ll not be able to sleep if knowing he is out there drunk and in need of help. “Where are the others? Can’t they get you home?”

Five seconds of awkward whimpering of Jungkook babies himself, refusing to give Namjoon’s phone to someone else. It turns out to be Yoongi, also your workmate from IT. ”Y/N? Y/N! I am so happy you picked up. Can you get these guys? Everyone here beside me is drunk, and this petite body of mine can only take Hoseok and Jimin since they’re in my building as well. Can you please get your huge ass roommate home?”

You sigh, aloofly agreeing to help Yoongi. The place they are drinking is not far from your apartment, so not even bothering to change your peppa pig pajamas, you overlay it with a peach sweater and hitch a taxi right after.

Not even fifteen minutes on the way you finally arrive. The bar itself was rather vacant, the music has changed, and you can immediately detect a group of moron on the corner booth of the bar, looking severely drunk. Detecting your presence, Yoongi instantly lightens up.

“Y/N! Y/N thank god.” Yoongi exhales. “I really fucking desprate to go home. Can you bring Namjoon and Jungkook together? Jungkook lives near your apartment, and he is not that drunk. Just drop him off in front of his buildings, or whatever.”

You groan in distaste. “Really? I really have to bring this guy with me?” You peer your squinted eyes at Jungkook who is limping to stand beside you.

Jungkook rests his palm on your shoulder with an intoxicated smile, wiggling his eyebrows. “Yes. Let me come along, Y/N. I promise we’ll have fun, hmm?”

You instantly push him away in disgust, the empathy you surprisingly have for him has disappeared into thin air. “I’m not getting in any car with you, jackass. Have a great time sleeping on the street.”

Yoongi groans at your stubbornness. It is not an uncommon sight as he is already well informed of your bad blood with Jungkook. “Y/N, for the love of god please stop arguing with a drunk idiot and lets just go fucking home.”

Still scowling, you move to wake up Namjoon, circling his arms around your shoulder. Jungkook is somehow still sober enough to voluntarily help you carrying the giant to his car. After safely securing Namjoon on the back, you stride to the driver seat and Jungkook follows to sit on the passenger seat  beside you. Driving out, it was only cold silence inside the car that you have to glance to see if Jungkook is asleep. It turns out he is not sleeping, instead catching him stealing glances at you.

“What the hell are you looking at?” You frown at him. He shrugs, diverting his eyes to the window. Another three minutes of silence until he opens his voice.

“Are you dating Namjoon?”

You stare at him, befuddled. What the fuck is he prattling about? “I am quite certain it is none of your business. Why are you asking anyway?”

“Nothing, just a question. You don’t have to answer.” He somberly responds, not mimicking the edge in your tone the way you expect him to. It leaves a sour taste in your tongue, feeling guilty in such a strange way.

“Namjoon and the other asked me why we hate each other so much.”

At the sudden information, your body tense. Namjoon asked him? Did he possibly tell the guys about what happened between the two of you? Even the thought only scares your whole being. “And what did you say?”

He heaves a deep breath once again. “I said I don’t not hate you. You may hate me, but I never hate you.”

The answer and his tone is astoundingly civil, so you glance at him in confusion. Hard to believe it is him talking right now. “What are you saying?”

He massages his temple. “I never hate you, Y/N. I know. I know what happened between us. And even if it’s too late, I know I was wrong and you have all rights to be furious at me.”

The fingers you have on the wheel tightens. You don’t know why you feel this way. The moment Jungkook acknowledges the mistakes he has made, it seems like everything shifts into a different light. You bit your lips in irresolution. Is it actually you who is too irrational not to let go something that is clearly in the past?

As if not realizing your current distress, Jungkook continues. “I know there is no time we’re not at each other’s throat, but I always wanted to ask how you’ve been. Are you living okay? How is your family, is everything good now?”

At his questions, you find yourself snapped. You don’t need it. You don’t need his sympathy. All things he said are never going to change what he did, and frankly it is too hard to imagine he might have changed. You had enough of him and his bullshit and one thing you will never do is to repeat history again. You are not that much of an idiot.

“Save it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.” You shakily say, the tears are already swarming at the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had it enough. I am not going back again to that phase again. You hurt me, bad. And I’m not an idiot whom you can fool around with and will be there at your doorstep the moment you want it.”

“Y/N, I—”

You immediately step on the break that jerks everyone inside the car including you. “This is your apartment, right?” If you’re explicit gesture for him to fuck off is not clear, you don’t know what is—but it seems like he understands well enough and reluctantly nods. Releasing his seatbelt, he gazes at you again, eyes swarming with anonymous emotion.

“Just so you know, I never told them anything—what happened between us, I mean. I’ll never say that to anybody. If you still hate me this much, I know it’s not my place to tell.”

You are still unmoving, only looking straight ahead as he dejectedly continues. “I know this is wistful thinking, but I wish we can sometime talk, Y/N. Just talk. Like two people who are not desperate to hurt each other, or to bicker, or anything.”

You shift your head, ironically smirk at him with tears already falling down your face. Talk? Now he wants to talk to you? Does he think you’re a joke? He is a bastard and you should’ve known better than to deal further with him again.

“Well, maybe you’ve lost your chance to talk when you told me to fuck off that time.”

*

After spending all weekend balled up inside your blanket while Namjoon constantly queried you about what happened, it is finally Monday morning. You woke up in a troubled mood, all because the first thing you do in the morning is to prepare for the 8.30 meeting you have with your boss and team, in which one person from finance is invited and it is freaking Jeon Jungkook. You literally have no idea what happened to your luck, since everything seems to be going downhill recently.

Arriving exactly in time, you can see two of your planning teammates, Hoseok and Jungkook are already seated. You greet them and directly take a seat beside Hoseok, silently opening your laptop to prepare the meeting, trying to be as nonchalant as ever. You notice that Jungkook is avoiding your eyes at all costs, and you are grateful for it. Your boss arrives directly in a minute, and then the meeting starts.

An hour into the meeting, your boss finally concludes. While you are arranging your belongings, your boss unexpectedly asks. “Y/N, for the employee engagement. Which one do you choose? If you’re still unsure, you should pick fishing. We can team up, and maybe talk about the project—”

The thoughts alone scares you and you abruptly answer in panic. Inside you are cursing Namjoon and his great predicting skills. “No, sir. I am picking the pen pal one. Might be great to meet and make new friends.”

He nods in understanding, and right after he walks out of the meeting room Hoseok chuckles. “Smart choice, Y/N. Otherwise you'll be stuck discussing work and faking laughs all the time.”

Smiling, you look up to Jungkook who stands near you. You feel the cold of nerves over his intimidating presence.

“Gotta go, talk to you another time.”

He quickly walks out, a tad bit surprising to both you and Hoseok. There is something different about Jungkook—he is not the confident, all-rounders man he used to be. There is a hint of rush in his voice and you might have an idea why.

*

“So, have you received your pen pal username?”

You look up to Namjoon, before re-reading the email Jimin sent to you yesterday about the person you are going to be anonymously chatting with. You’ve already downloaded the chatting applications, signing up yourself yesterday and now it’s you who should add and start the chat.

“Yes. I have, actually.” You breath out, before throwing it back on the sofa. “I don’t even know why I’m nervous! This doesn’t make sense. This is just talking, Y/N. Get your shit together.”

“I am now chatting with a certain person, username doofenshmirtz.” Namjoon mentions while typing on his phone. “I don’t know whether this is a good sign that she or he loves doctor doofenshmirtz or just another heartless jerk like anybody else.”

“Well if it's the preceding, he or she is indeed a keeper.” You hum in agreement, finally braving yourself to add. But now you have to begin the chat! God, this is indeed a struggle. “I am so awkward. What do people usually say to introduce themselves?”

“Well, most people usually go with a simple ‘hello’.”

You sigh at Namjoon’s useless advice, but when you are typing, sudden pop up chats arrive, shocking you altogether.

91snowball : wow, this really work [21:38]

91snowball : tell me if i’m correct or fuck it i’ll just delete this app now [21:39]

“Snowball is chatting with me right now!” You freak out, raise to your knees in tension. “Namjoon, what should I do! I don’t know what to say!”

Namjoon weirdly glances at you, then proceeds to continue whatever he is doing on his phone. “Just say something. Why are you thinking about it too much…”

blueberry_25 : yes i think we are pen pals😅 [21:40]

91snowball : ah, finally [21:40]

91snowball : so get this, blueberry_25. Which one travels faster? hot or cold [21:40]

Your eyebrows wrinkle at the unexpected riddle, but giggle otherwise. “My pen pal just asked me a riddle. Which one travels faster, hot or cold.”

Namjoon groans in disgust. “If the answer is hot because you can catch a cold you better block that person right now. That’s super fucking lame, what the hell.”

blueberry_25 : did you just search ice breaking riddles at google because i read the same one you asked me lol [21:42]

91snowball : wtf haha thats embarrassing but since you did too im fine 🥴 [21:43]

But soon enough, you find yourself chatting to snowball until nearly two in the morning. It is beyond you how easy it is to talk with him, about the recent movies, your unending love for how i met your mother, his addiction to brooklyn nine nine, and a little about each other. You know he is a male around your age (as you decide not to disclose age, just range) and he loves skiing. You tell him about your love of classical and grunge music—in which fascinates him due to the heavy contrast of the two—and ending it with a debate about which music defines puberty the most, my chemical romance or fall out boy. Both of you agree to end it with a draw.

In the end, snowball kindly reminds you you should be sleeping and have a good rest for tomorrow’s work. Reluctantly agreeing, you thank him and say you’re looking forward to the next chat. Even with the exhaustion you feel, you can only fall asleep after reading your exhilarating chat with him for one more time.

You forget how easy it is to talk to someone new. Or maybe you have been trying to forget you ever did.

*

Walking to your desk, you rest all your belongings and open your laptop. Hoseok beside you instantly slides his chair next to yours, eyes squinted and eyebrows scrunched.

“Why the fuck are you singing in nine in the morning, that’s so unlike you.”

You look at him in confusion. Are you singing? You did not even realize. “Oh, am I singing? Sorry if it bothers you, I didn’t know.”

The horrified look in Hoseok’s face is getting prominent. “You literally never apologize in the mornings. You always have a foul mood with an ugly frown on your face. Tell me who kidnapped you! Are you even Y/N?!”

You roll your eyes at his dramatic response. “Yes, I know I haven’t been in the best mood lately, but just let me live, okay? And why is this chocolate on my desk, this is yours.”

Hoseok looks at the ferrero rocher leaning on your desk with the small card on it. “It’s not mine. But let me check.” He swiftly takes the chocolate and pulls the card, his eyes scanning the words written on it. Five seconds passes before the mirth is detected on his face.

“This is not mine, this is for you.”

Flustered, you quickly take the card back from Hoseok’s grasp and read it. Someone is sending you chocolate, along with a hot pack glued on the back, and you don’t have any idea who or why.

It might be a little cold since it’s November soon, so here's a hot pack and also chocolate for you. Hope you’re having a great day today, Y/N!

“Wow, a secret admirer? The fuck, this is 2020–who does that anymore.” Hoseok cringes while getting back to his seat. Even so, he quickly opens his skype with a mischievous smile on his face. What an obvious moron, he giggles to himself.

*

“I told you a million times it is not me, Y/N.”

It is lunch at your office cafeteria, while Namjoon looks at you in distress at your accusation of him sending the chocolate you also bring with you to lunch. Hoseok is silently sitting in front of both of you, with Yoongi and Jimin on both his sides.

“But who else? There is no one supportive enough to send me a chocolate and a freaking hot pack beside you.” You huff while cutting your broccoli. Namjoon sighs, glancing at Hoseok discreetly.

“Even though I’m honored that I’m the only one who is strong enough to be your emotional support, it’s not me, and—“

“Enough about that! Hey, how’s it going with your pen pal?” Jimin suddenly asks, a wide smile on his face. You expect Jimin to ask the question to anyone, so when you notice the table is too silent you find everyone is peering at you.

“Why are you asking me?! Ask Hoseok.”

“It was so so. A man from HR.” Hoseok nonchalantly answers. “And we only introduced ourselves last night.”

“Mine was fine! She’s a girl from procurement.” Namjoon smiles. “But yeah, we just introduced ourselves last night. Maybe I should talk to her again today.”

“I just knew he is a guy. I didn’t really know where he’s from, but he’s around my age. It was great! He was very kind, and we had fun.” You nod silently.

“Fun? You literally were laughing like a hyena at 2 in the morning. I heard it through the wall.” Namjoon snorts and you side-glare him. Namjoon’s loose lips again, what’s new. “I figure it must be your pen pal, right? What ‘fun’ were you having, Y/N?”

“You’re literally disgusting, Namjoon.”

“Hey, Jungkook! Sit here!”

You instantly look up, finding Jungkook’s eyes peering at your desk, a tray of food in his grasp. You don’t really know why, you really thought he was heading to your table—but when his eyes find yours, he immediately pauses on his step. “Ah, sorry but I am here with someone.” He thinly smiles and excuses himself.

Unable to hold yourself, you look to your back and find him sitting with the tables of girls whom you recognize is also in finance. You are not certain if it is only you, but those girls really seem to be too amazed at his presence, instantly leeching themselves to him. Even if it’s not really a strange view to you, it is difficult to hold back your scoff.

Same old, same old.

*

You are waiting in the lobby of your office for Namjoon, since you are not bringing your car with you today. He said he’ll come down soon, so you are waiting patiently—but then a pair catches your attention from the corner of your eyes. It is Jungkook and Seojoo—the one you recognize also from Finance who was also at lunch with him.

You don’t even realize your eyes are squinted at those two, along with a scowl on your face. But at the possibility of being caught, you instinctively divert your eyes and duck your head to the other side. Even still Jungkook somehow is still able to capture you and head to your side. At that you internally curse.

“Y/N, why are you here? You’re not heading home?” He asks in concern, closing to you while your eyebrows wrinkle at his so-called familiarity. What is he doing talking so assertively—does he really think you are on that basis with him?

“I’m waiting for someone.” You curtly answer, not even a shift in your expression.

“Who?”

You look at him while scrunching your eyebrows. What the hell does he think he has a right to ask you that? “No one. It’s okay, I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? Seojoo here is pooling with me—Ah, sorry I was impolite. Do you know each other?” Jungkook asks, like he is suddenly waking up that there is someone beside the two of you. Holding back your snort, you put a strict smile and offer your hand to the woman who is not even concerned to hide even a bit of her judgmental eyes at you.

“Seojoo.” She whispers which you mutter your name as a response and fuck is it awkward. You can obviously feel that Seojoo is marking his territory around Jungkook and you don’t fancy it one bit. Why does she have to feel that way towards you?

“Seojoo, you said you are going to the restroom. Aren’t you going?” Jungkook suddenly asks after your short and tense introduction. At that, Seojoo is bewildered, presumably bothered by the thought of leaving you alone with him, like you are going to eat him up right after she leaves. Fuck, what is wrong with her...

She hesitates, “I’m fine, though—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be waiting here. You can go.” Jungkook amicably says with a wide smile, and the insecure chick had no other option than to comply. After she leaves, his prodding eyes are immediately focused on you.

“Can you just say to that fling of yours that I am just a nobody? I will not steal you, damn it. If looks can kill I’ll already bleed to death right now.” You scowl in irk. But just seeing your scowl somehow brings giggles to his smile. “Why are you laughing, you dumbass?”

“You know what, if I’m that presumptuous I’d think you are jealous right now.”

You scrunch your nose, severely abhorred by his annoying big head. “But you are that presumptuous.”

“Exactly.”

Irritated, you push him by the chest until he erupts in loud laughter. “Fuck, why should I be jealous? We are literally nothing and will never be more than that—Gosh, we’re not even friends.”

“Well that’s just saddening.” He frowns while clutching on his chest even though he cannot say it’s not expected. “What are you saying, Y/N? We are more than that, we go way back and you know it.”

You hum and fake a contemplating expression. “Hmm, you’re right but I’m drawing blanks here. How did it go again?”

The wide mischievous grin on his lips dims, shifts into a thin smile. “I could not change the past, I know. But you know regardless of what happened—”

“I’m done.” Seojoo suddenly says, clings on Jungkook’s arm that it stops whatever words he is about to say and you are kind of thankful for that. “We can go now.”

Finally detecting Namjoon tapping out to the lobby in such perfect timing, you send both of the morons a lofty grin. “I should go. You guys have fun, but don’t forget a condom, okay?” You turn your gaze to flabbergasted Seojoo. “Or you know what? Maybe you should prick on it too, so then he’ll stay forever. But if I were you, I wouldn’t count on it. Good luck!”

You can sense the jaw drops at such provocative statements coming out of you, but you don’t even give an ounce of care and leave the scene. After managing to humiliate or hurt both of them, you feel good. You feel strong. However, when Namjoon is at your side and glances at you, he shouts, utterly stupefied.

“Y/N, why—why are you crying?!”

*

It’s eleven pm, you are still settled inside your blanket. You are physically tired, but still your mind is too conflicted to sleep. Half is because of your work, and the other half is caused by that freaking jerk, Jeon Jungkook.

You despise the fact that you are still thinking about him. You suppose to be hating on that guy, but even the hatred is too difficult to maintain right now with his strangely devoted and warm self. Even if it’s a hard to swallow pill, you know you’re enjoying the banter with him. God, you are fucking weak for Jungkook and you hate it.

Rolling in your bed, you try to remember the bad things he has done for you. Forgetting you, abandoning you, playing with your heart like it did not matter—but it eventually ends with the treasured moments with him you wish will never resurface again. Like the moment he holds you all night after your parents fight. Or the moment he defends your honor like it matters the most. Or the moment he first kissed you that fateful, rainy night. Everything is coming back to you now like a trainwreck.

Suddenly among your wandering thoughts, your phone rings. Heaving deeply, you pick up to detect a new message on your anonymous chatting apps. It’s snowball.

91snowball : hi hi hi hi hi what are you doing [23:02]

91snowball : are you sleeping no you cant be sleeping dont sleep on me blue [23:02]

Chuckling, you proceed to type a response.

blueberry_25 : hahaha im not sleeping [23:03]

blueberry_25 : i can’t sleep. Too much thoughts [23:03]

91snowball : care to share? I swear im a good listener [23:05]

91snowball : someone bothering you at work? let me know and ill gass ‘em up for u blue [23:05]

blueberry_25 : really? you’d do that for me?  [23:06]

91snowball : of course just tell me who it is they’ll be gone by tomorrow [23:06]

blueberry_25 : lol it’s nothing. Im just confused [23:07]

blueberry_25 : have u ever been confused about someone? Like u thought u hate them but… its hard to say you do [23:09]

You don’t even know why you just have the urge to tell a stranger about your current contemplation about Jungkook. You desperately need a third perspective on this, and maybe just telling it to someone that wouldn’t know and judge you might be a good change for once.

91snowball : why do u hate them? [23:09]

Blueberry_25 : he hurt and lied to me. when i thought there was something real, he was just in for fun and i should hate him. but why is it so hard to say so now? [23:10]

It’s true. Jungkook was someone you thought you’d love. You trust him so much that you opened up to him better than anyone else, and thought something was there. But all of it was just a lie—he was just in for the thrill. All because of his annoying male ego that made you realize he was just a patronizing jerk that used you for his own benefit and left when he’s done. He is the reason you are insecure about meeting someone new. He is the evil one.

91snowball : maybe because they changed? I know its hard to believe but people change too [23:12]

blueberry_25 : maybe… [23:14]

91snowball : what i’m saying, maybe you should give them a chance to explain? [23:15]

91snowball : but if they’re still the same, punch them and never see them again [23:16]

91snowball : you don’t want to be thinking about it forever, blue. just give the closure your heart deserves [23:17]

He is right, you desperately need closure with Jungkook so you can finally move on with your life—but even the thought scares you. A question arises inside your head that settles strangely in your chest—a question that answers why all your pain and resentment are still so vivid even after years have passed.

Closure with Jungkook scares you… Because you do not know if you’re ready to close it.

*

Another late night, but you are still sitting at your desk. All of your teams already went back, and Namjoon told you he went home an hour ago. He did offer to keep you company, but you quickly refuse, saying you’re doing alright on your own—but now you indeed start to regret your decision. You hate being alone, especially at night but you really need to finish the planning report asap for finance to check again. Seriously, these endless tasks are going to be the death of you.

“Why is this—” You furiously tap on backspace, anger rises inside your head. You have no idea why the recent planning process has too many hiccups like this. The data given to you is not tally, and you don’t even know why. There must be something wrong.

Among the stress inside your head, your eyes fall at the lilies resting on your desk and smiles. Your eyes linger on the notes stuck on it for already the nth time already today.

Here’s beautiful lilies for you. Hope you have a great day too today, Y/N!

“Hey, you are still here?”

Surprised, you abruptly look up, finding Jungkook’s concerned face at you. You release a deep breath of relief. “I thought you went home, it’s pretty late.” He continues apprehensively.

You clear your throat, suddenly finding it a bit hard to speak with the realization that it’s only the both of you on the whole level. “Yes, haven’t finished the report I need to submit. No worry, I’ll submit it soon.”

He carefully slides and sits on Hoseok’s seat beside you. “I’m okay if you submit this tomorrow. You should head back, you must be tired.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I just want to finish this tonight, head home and sleep.” You give him a short, civil smile before continuing your work. “You can go home if you want to. I’m okay.”

“I think I’d rather stay. My cousin is having ‘dinner’ with his girlfriend right now, god knows what I might go home to.” He lightly jokes, and it kinda works in entertaining you a little. You know based on your resentment to him you should curtly answer or ask him to leave, but you do know that you’d rather have someone as company right now, even though it has to be Jeon Jungkook.

“You got flowers?” He pensively asks after minutes of silence, raising his eyebrow.

You glance at him staring at the lilies at your desk. Suddenly, your throat dries and you don’t even know why. “Y-yes.”

“From who?”

“I.. I don’t know. Someone put this on my desk this morning.” You whisper, more to yourself. You hate yourself for explaining when you have the right not too, but deep down, this shameless part you are expecting Jungkook might be the one sending all these gifts. You know it makes no sense whatsoever—but involuntarily you are still foolishly hoping so. Yes, you are that delusional.

“A note too? Wow, a secret admirer. How poetic.” He sneers, then shifts his gaze back to his screen. At the obviously sarcastic tone, you scoff in irritation. What a jerk.

“You have a problem with that? What—jealous that you never have someone you truly care to give gifts to?”

He meaningfully stares at you, making it difficult to breathe. “It’s not true and you know it.”

At your befuddled expression, Jungkook sighs, not even wanting to prolong the debate. “But no. None whatsoever. I don’t care, it has nothing to do with me anyway.”

You bite your lips in evident shock and disappointment, and try your best to make the unpleasant thoughts disappear. Did he just implicitly address your past together? About the time he gave you a gift you could never forget for your whole lifetime? About the time when you foolishly thought he was someone you could give your heart to?

A few minutes passed in deep, tense silence and Jungkook is sitting beside you now, working on his own tasks. He is so focused on the screen, with his lean fingers stroking his chiseled jaw and he leans to the seat, eyebrows scrunching like something is bothering him so much. And the scar prominent on his upper left cheek is as palpable as ever, and you notice how much he has changed, but still hasn’t. Jungkook grew up really well from the last time you saw him a few years back. No wonder all the girls are flocking on him like he is a magnet or whatever.

“Hey, Y/N, get this.” Jungkook suddenly turns to you, and albeit surprised, you are trying to look as unfazed as ever—like you did not just spend minutes to admire his attractive features. Even if your face heats up at the possibility of Jungkook finding out your antics. “I see the reports from the planning and other supply chain teams are not tally. This has been going, since approximately two months ago. Do you have any idea why?”

You squint your eyes at the reports. Yes, it is the data you get from Junsu, the new-hire for your team. “I don’t really know why. I got this data from Junsu, he said he received it from the plant team.”

“I really think we should check this. I’m not sure.” Jungkook whispers, chewing on his lower lips. Another seconds of silence passes before he notices your intimidating stare on his face. “...everything okay, Y/N? Something’s bothering you? Are you tired?”

Fuck, you really spend those seconds staring at the way he chewed his lips. There must be something wrong in your head now. “No—no.. I’m just.. Yes! Yes, I’m tired. I think I need to go home.”

Jungkook nods in all seriousness while you are packing your belongings. You need to flee, fast. “Yes, you really should go home and rest. Let’s talk about this tomorrow again, hmm?”

“Yes, yes! Okay, see you tomorrow.” You hastily smile, quickly escape the room without minding his voice calling your name. Damn, you need to set your head straight. It is Jeon Jungkook you’re talking about here. You can’t be weak for him.

*

The night passess in a blink, and then the morning arrives a tad bit faster than you expect it to. Especially since you wake up to your boss' message, ordering you to come to his desk right after you arrive at the office—which means a disaster happened and you are not mentally prepared for that.

“Y/N, why the hell the sales director called and yelled at me?” Is your boss’ first sentence when you enter his room. You gulp instinctively, then move to proceed to sit because you know it won’t be over before it’s too long.

Another hour and you came out from the room looking as exhausted as ever. There is some mistake in either the planning and manufacturing side that creates untally numbers in reports between units which then escalates to the higher management. And now you have to manually check the numbers without the intervention of people and present it by tomorrow afternoon, which means you will have to go to the plant as of right now—it’s two and a half hours drive from your office.

Feeling terribly unfit to drive due to the pain in your head, you choose to get there by train—in which you spend by checking the numbers again for the first hour, but the pain in your head is getting unbearable and you decide to sleep it off. Few hours later, you finally arrive at the plant, weakly entering the office side of the plant. Upon finding a space to place your belongings, someone immediately catches your attention, finding him talking with a group of people and a stack of paper on his grasp. Are your eyes lying to you right now? Is he really here?

“...Jungkook?”

Hearing his name is called, Jungkook instinctively looks back to find your confused expression. The shock in his expression is palpable too. “Y/N? You’re here.”

“What are you doing here?”

He looks bewildered at your simple question. “I-I am talking to—to these people. Umm.. for my reports.”

Your eyebrows raised, as he should be coordinating with plant finance folks instead of your team. “But they are in supply chain.”

Jungkook is abashed, you sense it clearly. “Y-yes, I just—can we talk about this later? You can join us if you want, this might help you too.”

Decide to ignore the strange fact that he is here, you and Jungkook spend another hour talking to the manufacturing team, and then manage to get the in hand documentations of work orders. After settling inside the empty cubicle, you look at Jungkook who is already eagerly jumping into the documentations. “Hey. Are you here to help me?”

Jungkook looks at you, avoids your eyes and clears his throat. “No, of course not. Why would I? What’s in it for me? You’re talking nonsense now, Y/N.”

“But this shouldn’t be your job to go to the plant and check all the data.” You whisper, more to yourself while looking at the overwhelming stack of papers. “Why are you doing this?”

He suddenly stops, and looks at you with all seriousness painted on his eyes. “Don’t sweat on it, Y/N. Let’s just finish this and get to the bottom of it asap, okay? I am here to help.” Jungkook whispers and manages to silence your retaliation. Yes, you know you are seriously in need of help right now. Doing this alone will not be as helpful as having Jungkook with you, especially having to present the result by tomorrow afternoon—it makes no sense to do it alone.

Two months worth of documentation is a lot and overwhelming. And even after six hours working on it, you can only focus on the amount of work you still need to go through. The looming pain inside your head is not helping either.

“Hey, hey, you are pale, Y/N. What’s wrong?” Jungkook instantly stops when he detects you are unmoving, resting on your chair while closing your eyes. You yourself do not know why you are feeling so unwell today. “Hey, you haven’t eaten, right? Damn it, your blood pressure—wait here, I’ll grab you something to eat.”

Ah, that must be it. You just realized you haven’t eaten anything today beside one slice of bread in the morning. Especially with the low blood pressure, it must be taking a toll on you. But one thing that catches your attention is the fact Jungkook remembers your condition even after all these years—it settles strangely inside your chest.

In no time he is already back with a paper bag. “Here, I brought you this. Let’s eat in the pantry.” He immediately holds you by the shoulder, helping your weak legs to walk to the pantry. After ensuring you are sitting well, he opens the food box and juice and offers you the utensils. “I bought the first thing I saw, this should be good for your blood pressure. Eat.”

You nod thankfully and proceed to eat. After three spoons and a few minutes, you can finally breathe clearly. But as you see that Jungkook is just looking at you expectantly, you feel severely self-aware. “You’re not eating too?” You ask shyly.

Jungkook smiles and scratches his nape abashedly. “Sorry, ‘was so rushed that I forgot to buy one for me.”

He forgot to buy one for himself but buy this one for you? You instinctively offer him the food. “Eat this, then. We can share.”

Jungkook kindly rejects with a smile. “No, I’ll buy something else. Yours is too healthy for me.” He jokes and walks out of the pantry. Finally alone, you stare at the food in front of you, somehow frowning.  

*

“I really think we should go back.” Jungkook stubbornly says after the nth time debating whether you should stay in the office or go back to your two hours away apartment. The answer should be easy—you have to stay back since tomorrow you will be meeting another plant team. Especially since it’s already seven in the evening, and the plant is closing off soon. “But you need to rest! Stop forcing your body, you moron. You seriously can be sick because of your stubbornness, you know?”

“I’ve been through this! You should’ve seen me in college, I do this every single time. I’m good and alive now. See?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, folding his arms to his chest. “Really? And tell me how’d it go again?”

You wince at the remembrance that you were bedrested more than you’re proud of, all because of your bad habits of staying late and overworking yourself. A question arises inside your head, but you briskly push it away. “You know Jungkook, you’re worse than my aunt, you know that?”

He giggles, showing his bunny teeth that somehow knocks the air off your chest. That heartfelt smile, you remember it like it was yesterday. “If you want, we can stay near here somewhere and continue the work. You need to sleep, and in the morning we can go back to the plant.”

“I’ll check the nearest hotel. Get ready, after this we’ll leave, okay?” He says while walking further from your desk. You bite your lips, silently nodding.

Suddenly, your phone rings. It’s Namjoon. You gasp, remembering that you haven’t let him know you are going to be away for work. “Hello, Namjoon?”

“Hey, where are you? I went to your desk two times today, thinking you had a meeting or anything. You haven’t even returned my calls or messages.” He hisses with obvious worry lacing his voice. “When will you be home?”

“Ah, I don’t think I’m going home today. I’m at the plant, have urgent work to finish so I’ll stay in a nearby hotel.”

“Is it safe? Are you okay? Do you want me to pick you up?” The worry and hurry instantly doubles the moment he heard you’ll be staying far away. You giggle, noticing how Namjoon is already too accustomed in taking care and worrying about you.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to worry. By the way, Jungkook is also here—”

“Jungkook?” He immediately cuts you, clearly confused. “The Jeon Jungkook? Your archenemy?”

“Yup.”

Two seconds of silence. “And he’ll be staying with you? In the same hotel?”

“The same hotel, yes! But not the same room. I know what you’re thinking, Namjoon, but it’s nothing—”

Namjoon tauntingly laughs that makes you totally self-conscious of your own skin. “Ah, the beautiful, old devil’s tango you both play. I have nothing to worry about, then. Tell me how it goes, okay? Bye, Y/N, remember to use protection. I’m not ready to be an uncle.”

“The fuck—”

But Namjoon is already cut off, and now you are staring harshly at your phone, your grasp is sucking the life out of your phone. Fuck Namjoon! You know you should never trust a guy who literally ruined a good pair of sunglasses he just bought. Seriously.

“I got one.” Jungkook suddenly interrupts your busy thoughts, walking to your side with a large frown in his lips. “But can you believe it? He said there is a concert near here tomorrow so all the rooms are full beside one large suite, and the other nearest hotel is like eleven kilometers away. What do you think?”

At his statement, your sight is suddenly blurry—all you can think about is fucking Namjoon and what he just said to you.

Ugh, you hate how statistics shows that he is often right, like 95% of the time...

*

Thinking you have no other choice than to get the one room left, you accept your fate that you have to be in one room with Jeon Jungkook for the rest of the night. Even if the suite only has one king-size bed, you get a compensation of a large suite that the distance you have with him may be kept well—and Jungkook agreed that he will not make any funny business on you after you ultimately warn him that you’ll be submitting charges if he even tries to.

“Y/N, I am not a sexual offender or anything. I will not do anything against your consent.” Jungkook sighs for the nth time as a reply to your threat of stabbing him with a fork. Again. “But it’s a different case if you’re willing…” You instantly send a lethal punch to the guy’s shoulder until he whimpers of pain. “What the—that hurts! I was kidding!”

“I was not kidding.” You roll your eyes, folding your arms on your chest. “This is a bad idea. I don’t even know what I should wear. I don’t want to sleep in my work clothes—and I have to be in a room with a pervert. Can’t you just sleep outside?”

He smirks while stealing glances at you. “You can always sleep naked and I won’t be complaining.”

“Fuck you.”

Jungkook greasily winks at you. “With pleasure.”

You groan in disgust. “God, you’re still the same, annoying piece of shit you were a few years back. I can’t believe this.”

“Well, you dated this piece of shit years ago, so…”

You look at him weirdly. Dated? What is he saying now.. “We were not dating. It was just a fling, you know it.”

Jungkook stares at you, with undeciphered emotions painted on his eyes. “We.. we weren’t?”

“No.”

He clears his throat, his cheeks are suddenly turning red. Your eyebrows slant at the thick air between the both of you. “Y-yes. Yes, of course it wasn’t. I was joking.” He continues with a forced laughter.

You slowly nod, clearing your throat out of sheer awkwardness. What happened between the two of you that time—it was a mere fling. It took nearly months to admit it was just that and nothing more, and now why is he here saying that it’s something more? He probably is just messing with your head, so no need to overthink whatsoever. That’s what got you inside the mess in the first place anyway.

After safely parked in the hotel lobby, you are about to walk out when Jungkook stops you. “I have a change shirt here, you can wear that to sleep. I believe there is a boutique here, so you can buy it for work tomorrow.”

He gives you a pair of clean shirt and pants, while you are only able to look at him with an unknown feeling in your chest. All these things—it feels too familiar to be true. You are unable to resist reminiscing the past. “You remember when I ran away from my house that time? I forgot to bring anything—and you lent me your shirt that time.”

Jungkook looks at you in evident shock, until a smile is suddenly formed on his lips. “Of course I remember. You were crying at that time, I was so panicked. You were wearing my shirt for like.. A full week.”

You giggle, smiling to yourself. Your parents were fighting again at that time, it was because of you. Your mother wants to take you back to Seoul, while your father wants you to stay in the states with him. You were so angry at that time, the fact that they weren’t even thinking to discuss it with you first so you fled, begging Jungkook to accompany you. That’s how you spend a full week running away with him bringing nothing to change into.

“I still can’t believe I stayed in your parent’s house for a full week without them finding out. That’s like… super mind blown.” You giggle again, remembering the time you stayed in his family house. It is undoubtedly one of the best times of your life, sneaking inside Jungkook’s house, staying in and having to spend all your days with him.

“It was crazy.” Jungkook breathes at you, smiling so wide his bunny teeth are visible. “I was so happy that time.”

Suddenly realizing how real it all gets after the unexpected nostalgia, you clear your throat trying to manage your emotions in. You really need to get your head straight. “Wow, this got mushy real quick, right? Let’s—let’s just go in.”

After a good ten minutes, you are settling inside your shared room with Jungkook. It was definitely larger than you think, so it was comforting to say the least. All because you cannot trust yourself when he’s around, and the fact that you’re starting to tolerate the guy isn’t helping either.

“I’m starting on the documentation, you take a shower first.” Jungkook mutters while settling himself on the corner of the room. You nod, and whilst getting ready with the pair of clean clothes he lent you, you catch Jungkook staring.

“What are you staring so intently at, you freak.” You snort and Jungkook chuckles while shaking his head.

“Nah, just remembered the old times. ” He smiles and suddenly you forget how to breathe. “You were so… pretty.”

Your heart literally skips a beat at how unreal everything is, but then are reminded of something that immediately makes you feel like an idiot for thinking he might mean it. “Didn’t you think like that because we just had a shower sex that time?”

Jungkook immediately blushes at your upfront mention. He most definitely did not expect that. “No, I wasn’t thinking—damn, Y/N, how can you say that!”

Rolling your eyes, your hand moves to slide the bathroom door. “Whatever, I’m going to shower now. Don’t even think about moving even a muscle from there.”

Jungkook sighs at your non-stop cautiousness, but is still unable to get that one last kick in. “You sure you can do it alone? I can help you shower, you know. ” He teases mischievously which you instantly answer by flipping him off. But you know the smile is too wide—you are enjoying this light banter too much now.

After having a very delightful bath, you walk out while drying your hair with a towel. Staying true to his words, Jungkook is seated still on the sofa, eyes not even blinking—too focused on the work in front of him. You move to his side, carefully resting your hands on his shoulder that he instinctively jumps on his seat. “Sorry to interrupt, but you should take a shower first. It must be suffocating still wearing that.”

Jungkook seems flustered, and immediately rises. “Yes, okay. I’ll be a second, then we can start. You should...rest a bit.”

Sitting on the couch he sat on, you stare at nothing in particular when your ringtone is heard. You mindlessly open your phone and find it’s Hoseok on the other side, pinging you endlessly—of course about you spending the night with Jungkook. You hiss just thinking about Namjoon literally can't keep his mouth shut, so instead, you leave him a fuck off emotion and move to open another chatting app, strangely miss chatting with your anonymous friend. Maybe you should update him about another conflict you are having right now, having been forced to be around the one you had a huge crush a few years back.

blueberry_25 : hiiiiiiiiiiii are you there? [20:15]

Right after sending the message, suddenly a ringtone is heard—it must be Jungkook’s phone. Shrugging the fact, you send another message, and Jungkook’s phone is ringing again. What is this coincidence? Why is his phone ringing at the same time you send yours?! The possibility of Jungkook being paired as your anonymous friends literally makes you dizzy beyond words, and you quickly move to grab his phone from his office bag, trying to detect if your notification is there. Fuck, fuck! If he really is your anonymous friend, you’d literally run away and sink yourself in the nearest waters. You’d rather set yourself on fire than having to spend another second around him.

Picking up his phone with your heart beating unhealthily fast, but all you see in his notification is Hoseok’s messages. You scroll slowly on his notifications, but fortunately nothing about your message is seen. You sigh deeply in reassurance. God, that was close.

Realizing how improper it is to be preying on his privacy, you clear your throat and put the phone back on the desk. Fuck, you are really shameless. But in your defense, it’s really a matter of life or death, because you have no idea whether you’d rather spend another second breathing when knowing you’ve been talking to Jungkook about Jungkook all these times. But seeing that there’s no notification, you feel slightly assured. Slightly.

Yet to think about it, he is using the basketball keychain you gave him a few years back and it makes you feel incredibly unsettled. Why is he wearing this? He changed his phone and really went through the hard work to still keep something he hated the first time receiving? You even thought he threw the keychain away after receiving it.

“Hey, what are you looking at?”

At the sudden low minister you look up in surprise, seeing Jungkook walking out of the shower, still with wet hair, wearing a white shirt and a pair of shorts that looks really comfortable, but not really for you as a silent bystander. Fuck Jungkook and his incredible charm!

“Is it my phone?” Jungkook asks, eyebrows scrunched.

Suddenly realizing that you are cornered by his great smell, you are stuttering to even let out an answer. “I’m-i’m sorry! Your phone rang and I thought it was something important, and—”

“You shouldn’t check my phone, really.”

Remembering how Jungkook hated to have anyone messing with his privacy, you wince internally and prepare for his wrath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I swear.”

At your regretful gesture, Jungkook sighs and rests himself on the space beside you. “It’s okay. Just.. just don’t do it again. I don’t want you to be shocked to see what’s in there.”

Seeing an opportunity now that he has relaxed a bit, you push him by the shoulder with your own with a mischievous smile. “It’s okay, I’ve seen your porn collection. Nothing will really shock me at this point.”

Waiting for Jungkook to respond to your laughter, but instead you only find him gazes at you with indiciphered emotions. “Why? Is there anything wrong?”

“No, It’s.. it’s just weird. Actually the first time you acknowledge our past without wanting to rip my head off my body.”

At that, you find your gaze falling back to the basketball keychain on his phone. “You’re using that lame ass keychain you hated so much now?”

You remember that time you went to an old market with your friends the morning of your third date with Jungkook, seeing a cute basketball chain and you instantly remembered how much Jungkook always wanted to play basketball even if he was in a football team, so you bought that keychain for him. He begrudgingly received it with so much complaints, about how he didn’t like any accessories for his phone, or how he literally played football, or how it didn’t match his fashion concept, and you haven’t even seen him use it… until now.

“Yup. I have been using it since… you left actually.” Jungkook looks down to his phone, and you look at him with a contorted face.

“Why?”

Jungkook looks at you, staying silent for a good ten seconds while you bite your lips, wondering if you are ready to hear whatever he’ll say—cause any scenario playing in your head is just a trainwreck of mess after mess—until he answers with a heavy sigh of distress. “I’ll answer that later. Let’s just.. Work now.”

Silently thankful that he decides not to answer your pointless question, you agree and proceed with work. It is not exceptionally hard to focus on your work when the deadline is just around the corner, and you are thankful Jungkook is very helpful and kind with everything. But after a few hours spent working, from the corner of your eyes Jungkook is massaging his sore neck with contorted face. You know why—he severely strained his neck muscle during a practice a few years back, and will always feel pain whenever he is overworking himself, like he is right now.

“Hey, you should take a rest.” You tap his shoulders with worried gaze. “Your neck must be killing you right now. I can continue, there’s just a few of these left.”

Jungkook really wants to refuse your mindful offering, but the pain is disagreeing with him. So albeit half-heartedly, he moves to rest on the bed. “Laying on the bed would only worsen the pain, though..” You whisper to yourself, somehow still vividly remember everything.

“You want me to massage you?”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. “Are you serious?”

You are fumbling with the hem of Jungkook’s shirt you wear and hesitantly nod. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself… Because… you’re my ride tomorrow to Seoul! We really need to get back right after, so—”

Jungkook nods with a thin smile, and you decide to shut up and just move closer to his side with a bottle of baby oil from your bag. After smearing a few drops on his neck, you proceed to move your fingers to give slight pressure around his neck—just the way you remember it.

“Now I know why you still smell like that. You’re still using that baby oil.” He hums in delight and you inevitably smile. The fact that he still remembers sends warmth to your chest.

After spending a good ten minutes massaging his upper neck, you notice that the neck area of his t-shirt is wet with the oil. “Ah, your shirt..”

“It’s okay. Are you done?”

You bit your lip. Not really, you know by the look of it the pain is still far from being off, but you don’t know what you should do. The convenient way is to have Jungkook out of his shirt, but then you’d literally be out of your mind. You most certainly do not have the capacity to do with a shirtless Jungkook, right on such a closed space, especially on a bed. Even thinking about it makes you feel rightfully ridiculous.

“You’re still in pain, though…”

“Ah, this is okay.” Jungkook gives you a comforting smile, trying to move his head, “I’m now as good as—Ow!”

Now you don’t even know how can that man survive another day being this careless. He is moving his head excessively only to prove his lies and end up with more pain. Really Jungkook-like. Sighing, you pull on his shirt. “Take off your shirt, you moron. I’ll massage you.”

At your bold statement, Jungkook literally shivers on your grasp. “No, It’s all well. You don’t need to—”

Greatly unimpressed, you warn him not to reason with your request and just by your stare, he begrudgingly complies. “But don’t laugh. I haven’t been working out recently, super swamped at work so if you just laugh, even a little, I’ll leave you here to take the bus alone to Seoul tomorrow.”

Giggling at his pouts, Jungkook moves to open his shirt and instantly lay on his stomach on the bed. “Don’t see it!”

“Why! Are you shy at me now? You literally used every chance to be shirtless back then.” You chuckle and mischievously poke him around the waist with your forefinger. “Why are you shy? You six pack no more?”

Jungkook buries his head on the pillow, while you still proceed to poke him repetitiously with your fingers. “Stop it!” He groans yet you disregard it without any further thoughts.

“You’re nooo fun! Don’t be shy Kookie, even if you’re bloated, I—Ah!”

Jungkook growls at your constant bother, and spends no other second to pull you around to secure you around his grasp, bare chest just a breath away from yours.

“Are you seriously going to do this now? Don’t you know how crazy I was just to be around you for the night?”

At his deep stare prodding at the depth of your minds, you feel terribly heated. “What-what are you saying..”

“Are you seriously not seeing this, Y/N?” He slowly breathes. “It’s hard. To be around you again, and trying to hold myself from thinking about what could have happened with us.” Is he seriously addressing what happened with your relationship before?

“What?”

“You asked why I still use that keychain you gave? You really wonder why?” He asks in unpredicted determination that it terrifies you. “It’s because what we had meant that much. You, me, us—we were so happy. Or at least, I was.”

Like it’s not surprising enough, he is apparently not done. “Being with you, I’d never trade that for anything. I was doubtful it even happened—you left so quickly and I need a reminder that it did happen. We happened.”

Realizing that he indeed is going to unveil anything that happened in your past, you weakly push him away, trying to create a safe distance in between. But of course it’s no match with his unbelievable strength. “Jungkook...”

“I know I was a jerk, Y/N. I was childish, foolish, I was an idiot and I did not think about your feelings. I did not consider that you must’ve had a reason to leave the country, we were fighting like crazy, but—I would’ve understood if I had known the reason, you know? And I start to wonder about the what ifs, will everything be different with you and me?”

You look up to him gloomily, the pain in your chest is unbearable now that he is opening up the past. You remember everything like it was yesterday—how infatuated you were with each other, how beautiful was the time of being in such love with him, how heartbroken you were to find out you had to follow your mother after the divorce and go back to Seoul, and how instead of clearly stating why, you and Jungkook had a huge fight that literally lasts for years and until now.

The sadness momentarily engulfs you, that you instinctively respond to the sentence you’ve been repeating to yourself these whole time. “Well then, maybe we are just not meant to be.”

Jungkook glares at you, not liking a bit that you had to pull that card with him. “Don’t you fucking say that. What we had meant that much to me, and I loved you so much, Y/N. Why can’t we just—” You know it was a past tense, he said he loved you. But why does that hurt? Unexpectedly a thought crosses your mind, and you speak faster than you think.

“Jungkook, what happened with that girl?”

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “What girl?”

You look down, unable to see him right in his beautiful, doe eyes.“That finance girl—the one coming home with you when clearly taxi exists—what happened that night?”

Jungkook clears his throat, finally getting what you’re saying. “Ah, her. No, I had Jimin take her home that night.”

“Why?”

Jungkook bite his lips, it’s obvious that he is conflicted to answer. Ten seconds pass until he finally opens his voice to answer. “Because she was talking shit about you, and I don’t like it.”

“You what? Seriously?!” Are you hearing correctly? Jungkook seriously abandoned all his mighty ways with girls just because someone is talking shit about you? “It’s inevitable, and you know I don’t give a shit what she thinks about me. You don’t have to do that—I can’t believe this.”

“Y/N, don’t overthink it. Even if we are off to a rocky start and you might hate me, you’re still my friend. I won’t let anyone talk shit about my friends, especially you.”

The way he speaks, it is full of sincerity and succeeds in melting your whole being. The way he cares about you, you hate to admit that you still like it too much. You can’t believe that you are still this reactive for anything regarding him.

Another seconds of comfortable silence passes and somehow, you get comfortable just laying there with him. Even your heartbeat is too fast for your likings, yet the familiarity is what keeps you on spot. You start reminiscing those beautiful times when it’s just you and him, the feelings you get whenever he looks at you like this—it feels amazing.

“What happens to your mother? Is she okay now?” Jungkook carefully asks, like he is testing the water. His palms are soft on your back, featherly soothing it with his whole deliberation.

You hum with a faint nod. “Yup, she is recovering well. My aunt and grandma are also very helpful with the therapy, so...yes. How did you know, by the way?”

“Well, after you left I… I just got around with your friend. She actually explains your condition and.. then I try to dig around for you as well. I found your social media and really wanted to message you, but.. Yeah, I never got to.”

What Jungkook does not explain is how much time he spends on his phone, typing and retyping his words to send you, but never got the courage to. After knowing what happened to you and your family—especially about your mother’s illness, he felt overwhelmingly guilty beyond words. He took it on you, taking all his disappointment for the false information he made for himself, without thinking what you might have felt. He deserved it, he deserves everything that happened to him. Being miserable, chased with the guilt feeling rooting on his back, it might be just the right price he must pay for letting you down, disappointing you the way he did.

“I am sorry, Y/N. If I can take back what I said, I would. In a heartbeat.” He whispers and you understand how much he means it. At that time, it’s even difficult to think he is still the same Jungkook who hurted you back then. He changes so much, and hopefully for the better.

“What about you? Everything is good back in the states?” You ask, resting your palm on his bare arm and you can sense how Jungkook is tense, but instantly relaxes after your hand is safely settled. “Your family is still there?”

“Yup. Family is there, only me here.”

You hum, fidgeting your fingers resting on his arm. You really want to ask one question that has been running in your mind since four months ago.“If I ask why you moved to Seoul, would you answer honestly? Like.. I know what you said to your peer, about the great offer whatsoever, but… there must be something else, right? There’s literally no good reason why you should move to somewhere new and not even lots of people you know here..”

Jungkook gives you a thin smile. “I.. I just needed a fresh start. My life there, everything that’s been going on with my family, my friends were too… exhausting. I just—I wanted to see how far I could go on my own.”

“Something happened with your family?” You curiously asks, suddenly curious about his last statement. You know how ruthless his father was with his ambitions for his only son, directly lining him up for the best school in the states and already planning all his future for him, including entering one of the most sought up corporate as well.

“Yup. You know, I don’t hate his plans. What I dislike is the way he single-handedly does everything for me. It was so stressful.” Jungkook whispers, more to himself. “He wants me to go Investment Banking, but I don’t want that. He promises that he can make me in Forbes list, or whatever it was he said, but I don’t want that too.”

“So I planned on moving out of the city, but I don’t know where or how. Then the idea to go back to Seoul arised. Something happened—the decision time was quite short. What turns out to be a joke turns into a serious option. Having dual citizenship really eases my access back to Korea, and my grandparents and cousins are also here so.. Yeah. That’s about it.”

You nod in understanding, cause everything he said seems plausible. But one thing still doesn’t settle right. “But.. why my company? You know I’ve been working here for a while now, right? It’s like… too much of a coincidence it scares me.”

“If I say it’s all the grand plan of the universe, will you believe me?” He lightly jokes, eyes turning into crescent moons. You roll your eyes, but nevertheless giggle.

“I think that’s enough for now. You must be sleepy, Y/N. Go to sleep, in a few hours  we still need to head back to the plant and directly go back to Seoul. Okay?”

You are expecting Jungkook to move away and leave you to sleep on the bed, but he is still there, holding you close, and you are not complaining at all. You are conscious that he is waiting for you to shoo him away, but you’d not even dare to do it. Cause being with him again, his large palm caressing your back, his breath tickling your face, everything seems like a very vague, far dream.

Another twenty minutes and you are already far too deep in slumber, Jungkook smiles at your sleeping face. You seem so at peace, and he is loving every second just laying here with you.

But the rest of work ain’t gonna fix itself, so he is still groaning, and wakes up and moves back to the sofa. Getting a canned coffee from his duffle bag, Jungkook quickly gulps an adequate amount until he is sure he won’t be sleeping for a while now. Trying to relax his strained neck, his finger moves back to the laptop in front of him.

“Let’s finish this once and for all, shall we?”

*

Due to staying up until three in the morning, Jungkook wakes up around nine to a cup of coffee in the kettle, along with a thank you note for finishing the rest of the work and promises you’d do anything he asks in return. You also permit yourself for going to the plant first. At that, a slight disappointment arises inside his chest and he doesn’t even know why. Jungkook heaves a deep breath, waking up and directly going straight to the shower.

Not even thirty minutes later, Jungkook is already parked on the plant, walking inside to the office side where he expects you will be. But he is met with disappointment, because you’re not there—not even your belongings are in sight.

At once, he feels terribly anxious. What happened to you? Where could you be? He tries dialing your number, but is met with no answer. When one of the supply chain teams he was talking to yesterday is walking beside him, he stops her right away. “Hey… Did you see Y/N? Was she here?”

“Y-yes. She is currently meeting with the team leader.” She mutters nervously, especially with Jungkook’s hardened stare prodding at her.

“Team leader? Where?”

“They’re meeting downstairs, probably in the cafe? I don’t really know..”

Finally self-conscious about how freaky he has been, Jungkook quickly mutters his thank you and descends to the elevator. Team leader? He doesn’t know why he feels terribly on the edge with the fact she is meeting the team leader. Probably due to something he heard yesterday…

“Y/N, you’re disappointed, right? The team leader is in the plant right now since there's a production problem. Tell me, you actually wanted to see him, right?”

That was that a fellow supply chain team was whispering to you during the discussion yesterday, which you answered with a lousy no. It did not settle right with him and now he is proven right. Who is this team leader, actually?

While in the elevator, he swiftly reaches for his work phone, trying to find a certain supply chain team leader. He squints his name, finding a name that certainly is not too strange if he thinks about it...

Kim Taehyung.. When did he hear this name before?

*

“I told you I can pick you up from the hotel and then we can get a proper breakfast. Why are we even meeting at this lousy, overpriced office cafe.” Taehyung fizzles with a deep pout while cutting the maple syrup pancake he ordered. You thinly smile, stirring the cup of chamomile tea on your grasp. It’s certainly strange to be in the exact situation with him as it was during your college days.

“It’s okay, I can’t stay long anyway. I just got a few things clarified from your team and I’ll be on my way back to the headquarters.”

“Really? That fast?” The pout on his lips deepens. “If I know you are going to leave so soon, we should’ve done something last night. I don’t even understand why you checked in a hotel instead of staying with me. It’s way cheaper and easier, you know?”

“Taehyung, you know I can’t do that…” You warn him, feeling cautious of the overly familiar sense between the two of you. It is dangerous, and you don’t want to ruin everything with you and him. Again. You will not foolishly repeat history.

Noticing how tense the air has become after your last sentence, he suddenly leans his palm over yours, eyes filled with regret. “Y/N, please don’t be like this. We are friends before anything else. What happened, it was in the past. I don’t want to lose you like this.”

The irony of hearing that too many times now literally put a painful grin in your lips. Why the fuck men keeps on saying that to you these days? Fucking annoying.

“I get it. We are friends. So please keep the line, Taehyung. I don’t want to lose you as a friend like this too.”

Realizing that not even a hint of mirth on your face, he realizes that he indeed has crossed the line. Taehyung immediately pulls his hand away, clasping it on his lap. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. But can we talk about work, now?” You sigh in distress. You know by the look of it, Taehyung has millions of words he wants to say, but you don’t want to hear it. You just had enough with all the drama.

Taehyung was your friend. Your first friend in Seoul. Your first friend in university. Your best friend. At that time, he helped you a lot with adapting to the new environment. He helped you with every part of your life, your study, your family, everything. He was the son your mother never had—you were that close to him. At the beginning, regardless of what people said that the both of you would end up being in love with each other, it was easy to disregard it with a simple laugh. Because Taehyung had a girlfriend back in his hometown. Because you were busy with working part-time to make a living, and love was your last priority.

4 years being in a platonic relationship was easy when it’s with him. You graduated together, sealed with a picture of Taehyung kissing your cheek in front of your alma mater hanging on your living room’s wall, you never knew something indeed has changed with you and him. Not until one night he confesses he wants to try something more serious with you, for you to seriously consider him as a boyfriend. And as easy as it was, you agreed. Because in all sincereness, you knew you’d do anything for him, and even if you wanted to be with someone, it just had to be him.

Having the same dream, both of you applied for the same company, and were accepted in the same team. You were working alongside him, and seriously could not be happier. Day by day, you start to gain feelings for him, and it was as easy as expected—because he was a very great guy, everything you wished him to be. Until one day, an email arrives in your personal inbox, filled with cursive words accusing you were the one Taehyung was cheating with. From his ex-girlfriend.

At that time, you directly confronted Taehyung for an explanation. And you found out that before graduation, he measly broke up with the girl through a freaking message and blocked every contact with her right after. And when you thought everything couldn't go worse, more digging led you to find out that he broke up only after you agreed to try something serious with him.

You were heartbroken. Even if you knew that in his defense, he thought that nothing was going to work with his ex-girlfriend for way before they broke up, but it did not justify anything that he did for her, or for you. You expected more of him, and were excessively disappointed. And even when you tried to forget it and move on like what it was before, you can’t shake the feeling of betrayal. That’s why you decided to call it off.

Taehyung was disappointed in your easy choice of way out, it was as clear that both of you are not on the same page with everything. Knowing that both of you couldn’t just disregard everything and keep on being professional at work, Taehyung directly applied after an opening for a plant team was announced—and in no time he left. Just like that.

“Hey, are you okay? Y/N, don’t be like this. I won’t talk about it again—let’s just talk about work. Okay?” Taehyung asks in worry at your deep and long silence. You dubiously nod, realizing that you cannot keep on being like this. That’s why you reach out for your laptop, intending to start on questions for your report.

“So, is your mother okay now?” Taehyung asks, and you know he is sincerely curious instead of making small talks. You kind of understand though, since your mother saw him nearly everyday as he was practically glued to your side.

“She is doing much better now. And she asked about you too, you know.”

Taehyung immediately smiles at that. “Yeah, of course I know. I was literally the best child she could ever have, since her daughter was busier than the president himself.”

You roll your eyes but still chuckle at the remembrance. “Shut up. I was working! And you know, you are the weird one. You kept on hanging out in my house, even without me. My aunt and grandma were literally in love with you.”

“Yeah, they were so kind and lovely. How could I not miss them.” Taehyung smiles more to himself. You can detect how sincere he is, and the guilt is slightly eating you up. If you weren’t such a selfish person, maybe everything would be different. Maybe you and him would be different.

“Then come again to my house. I’m still in my apartment, but I come back to my house once or twice each month. You know my family house is closer to the plant than the headquarters. You should come with me.”

You know that Taehyung seems to be at shock at your unexpected invites—as you too were shocked—but he instantly forms his signature boxy smile and nods in agreement before you could change your mind. “I would love to.”

Suddenly, a ruckus was heard directed from the door. You instinctively turn to the source of the sound, and unexpectedly find Jungkook marching to your side. You immediately stand from your seat, somehow anxious over the fact that you left him in the hotel with only a lousy note to excuse yourself. And probably, the fact that Taehyung is here too.

“Jungkook? Why are you here?”

Jungkook looks at you, then at Taehyung, then at you again, implicitly showing how bewildered he is. “Ah, it’s nothing. I just.. I just want to check where you are. You left so quick from the hotel, so—”

Taehyung immediately stands up from his seat, staring at you while squinting his eyes. “Hotel? He is staying with you, Y/N?! That’s dangerous, why are you—don’t tell me.. You’re not staying in the same room, right?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunched, disliking the fact that Taehyung looks really bothered at the fact that you are staying with him. “So what if we are? Do you have a problem with that?”

You bite your lower lips in distress at both of the guys who look like they are ready to have the showdown of their lives. Fuck, why does this have to happen now?!

*

If you had any thoughts that Taehyung and Jungkook will be fighting because of you, you were surely an idiot—because right now it’s like you literally don't even exist. Both of those idiots are too busy playing phone games as teams while laughing like maniacs, while you are busy trying to finish all your work before having to rush to Seoul in an hour. Yes, you don’t really have anything left for them to work on, but… it feels difficult when you don’t even understand what they are doing with their damn phones.

“Taehyung, what the hell… you can’t fucking shoot! He was literally in front of you!” Jungkook groans at his phone, then Taehyung kicks him on the shin until the younger guy hiss in pain. You roll your eyes, fucking child they were.

“Jungkook, let’s go. We need to head back to Seoul.”

“Why?! There’s another hour! There’s no need to rush, you know.” Jungkook pleads, yet not even looking at you. Since Taehyung steals a glance at you, he immediately notices you are not in a mood for a joke. At all.

“Five minutes. This will be finished, okay? You can get ready, Y/N.” Taehyung replies calmly and even with deep resentment, you still comply and pack up your belongings.

Just another thirty seconds and Taehyung is cursing before throwing his phone back at the table. “Fuck, I’m dead.”

“That’s because you suck.” Jungkook mocks playfully, and Taehyung rolls his eyes at the childish remarks. Taehyung turns to you scrolling on your phone, looking as unbothered as ever—even if he knows how irritated you are right now. That’s probably on how much he understands you.

“Hey, Y/N. When can we meet your mom?”

Jungkook suddenly chokes on air at that unforeseen statement. What the fuck did he just hear? Why is Taehyung meeting your mother?

Only sending Jungkook weirded out stares, you turn to Taehyung. “I’m planning on going back tomorrow, as I haven’t gone back for weeks. You want to come with me?”

“Sure, that’d be great.” Taehyung nods, literally insensitive to Jungkook’s hazy state as more information comes in.

“Okay, should we meet directly at my mother’s?”

“No, I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. I’m going back to Seoul tonight for a drink with Jimin, Yoongi and Hobi.”

“Ah, drunkard night. Must be fun.” You sarcastically joke and Taehyung is unable to deny as he giggles. Meanwhile on the other side Jungkook’s sight is literally shaking, probably to the current state he is in. Fucking pathetic is what he is.

“So, did you receive my flowers this morning?”

Your mouth and eyes are forming a full circle, remembering the gifts resting on your desk nearly every morning from last week. “That was you?!”

“Yes.” He giggles with reddening cheeks which literally sends flutters inside your chest. Not even once you thought Taehyung would be the one behind those thoughtful gifts. “I just want to give it to you. I hope it’s not a bother.”

“It’s not, but you shouldn’t have…” You suddenly feel guilty for not realizing it any sooner. Of course it’s him, who would be? But by the fact how bad your vague relationship ended nearly a year ago, it’s hard to imagine him being the one sending those.

“I want to! Don’t be like that, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Abruptly the sound of chair feet against the floor is heard as Jungkook stands up. He looks at you with an undeciphered smile, yet you literally can’t even look him straight in the eyes. God, you don’t want everything to be like this in the first place. “Let’s go, Y/N. I’m done.”

“Good. You should go, the traffic can be bad.” Taehyung nods in understanding, insensitive to Jungkook’s killing aura that you literally are on the edge of. He quickly walks out of the room without even a goodbye, and you nervously look back at Taehyung again.

“Taehyung, I’ll go now.”

In a blink, you find Taehyung is now hugging you closely inside his arms. It doesn’t last long though—and you literally don’t know what to feel about that. Your feelings are too complicated.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Be safe.”

You hum and directly walk out, not even seeing Jungkook right on the door. Slightly panicked, You walk outside to the elevator and he is there, hands buried in his pocket, his jaw clenched and eyes that literally screams fire. Everything literally makes you dizzy.

God, you don’t really know how you’d make it a few hours being with him...

And fuck were you right, because after thirty minutes settling inside his car on the way to Seoul, there’s no sound beside the radio between the two of you. The air was so tense like you can slice it and choke it down your throat, and probably it would be better rather than having to face Jungkook’s expected silence at you.

“Jungkook, it’s been half an hour. Are you going to ignore me like this?”

Jungkook sighs, but still not sparing you even a glance. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“Then talk. No one is stopping you.” He irks.

“But I want to talk to you without that scary face you are having right now.”

“Y/N, I don’t want to be like this. Please let me be angry in peace.” He finally looks at you with a hint of sadness on his eyes. “I don’t want to say anything I’d regret.”

Another five minutes of silence until you decide to speak out your mind. “Do you want to know what happened with me and Taehyung?” You carefully ask, he looks at you and lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“Why do you think I want to know that?”

At the bluntness, you feel completely ashamed of yourself for thinking and assuming way beyond you should. You duck your head in shame. “Sorry.”

Jungkook then realizes he has been too far with his angry game, and instantly reaches out to you in regret. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean that.”

But it’s too late because you are already crying and you don’t even know why. You’re usually not this much of a crybaby. “Fuck, you are really that self centered, you know? How can you say that? Is it too wrong for me to assume that whatever the fuck you are angry about is because of me and Taehyung?”

Jungkook locks his hand with you, and even if you are struggling to let your hands go, you are still too weak compared to him. “I’m sorry. I was angry at myself, Y/N. I was angry because I know you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve my nonsensical wrath. I was too selfish, I’m sorry.”

“You are.”

“I am.”

“You fucking are.”

“I am. So please accept my apology, hmm?”

Another thirty minutes of sulking, while Jungkook doesn't even say another word and only moves to massage through your hands. You know how apologetic he was, and he probably doesn’t mean it as well. And since you know that your wrath is already dissipating, you proceed with your story, not even caring whether Jungkook wants to listen or not.

So you go through everything. Every single detail about what happened with you and Taehyung. And it would be a lie to say that it doesn’t affect Jungkook even a little bit, because seeing your gleaming eyes and your voice telling every word about your relationship with him, Jungkook knows how important he is to you, and how much of the past you have together with him written on the pages of your lives. The relationship you have with him, lasts a whole four years and even more. How can he even consider to compete with that?

And one question does bother his mind. Do you still love him?

But no. He is not taking that risk. He doesn’t want to break down now. So he lets out a statement that somehow, even with the huge consideration, still succeeds in killing all will inside his body.

“He was really special, right?” Jungkook asks as a past tense.

You look down to your lap.

“Yes, he really is.”

*

You are already settling inside your blanket, ready to drift off to sleep yet your mind is wide awake. Everything is so overwhelming lately, you don’t even know what to do with yourself. Everything about Taehyung and Jungkook is more than confusing, and you really don’t like yourself right now.

“Argh!” Just when you are kicking the blanket off your legs, suddenly a loud knock is head on your front door. Who could it be? Is it Namjoon? But you are a bit uncertain it is him, since Namjoon does not usually come home this early on a Friday night. Damn it, you really need another activity other than waiting for him to come home like a sad sexless innkeeper.

Another boom on your door and you rush to open it. “Wait!”

But instead of the face of drunk Namjoon on your door, you find Jungkook’s instead. And it could be the last person you expect to be standing in front of your door right now, with a bottle of wine and a pack of cheese.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

He shyly scratches his nape. “Ah, actually I was drinking with my cousin and his girlfriend so I steered clear to give them space and went to your apartment instead. Sorry to disturb you. Were you going to sleep?”

“Was going to, but I can’t sleep.” You answer truthfully, looking back at him. Jungkook is only wearing a black t-shirt with loose pants, his hair is messily tousled yet irritatingly still looks very breathtaking to you, his lips are eye-catchingly shimmering—a habit he adopted from you to deal with dry lips. You immediately feel self-conscious about what you were, an old night dress that doesn’t really do anything except making you feel comfy to sleep.

“Can I come in?” He vigilantly asks after a few minutes of odd silence. You instinctively scoot out of his way and let him walk inside your fortress.

“Your apartment is nice.” He compliments, resting the wine and cheese on the table to walk around the apartment, through the photos and embellishment. “Very cozy. And everything here screams you.”

“Thanks. High chance that’s the reason why Namjoon is very, very vigilant about bringing women back to this apartment, I think.” You joke and giggle, even though your head is filled with anxiety of the fact that Jungkook is visiting your apartment at ten pm. The last time he visited you around this time you couldn’t walk the next morning, so… yeah, you feel entitled to be nervous.

“Let me get the glasses and bottle opener.” You stutter, abruptly walking to your compartment. You let out a few deep breaths, trying to assemble your head straight once again. Fuck, why can’t you just speak like a normal person? It’s just Jungkook for god sake, and he’ll only be here for a drink—probably to celebrate the result of your presentation this evening to the boards. And then he’ll be gone, and you’ll go to sleep. Yet you somehow doubt it.

Walking back, you find Jungkook is settled on your couch, his eyes are looking at the bottle of wine on the table, yet you know those stares are too far and empty. It’s proven with how he is startled when you soundly occupy the seat beside him.

“You okay?”

He glances at you and his lips turn into a thin curve. “I am. Sorry, I was zooming out.”

“It’s fine, but sure you're okay?”

The smile widens until it shows his extraordinary bunny teeth, his palm hovering around your arm. “I am good, but can be better after a glass of this wine. Don’t worry about me now.”

In a short while, a glass of wine is already served on your grasp, while Jungkook is busy picking songs to play on your bluetooth speaker. Right when a smooth violin sound is heard, you reluctantly open up a conversation.

“Thank you.” You lower down your gaze to your fidgeting fingers. “For everything. You literally saved my ass from even getting denounced from my position. I still can’t believe everything could be so messed up.”

“I know it must have been difficult—with Junsu now investigated for supplier fraud.” He whispers slowly. You knew that all the untally reports and data are from Junsu, and now he is being investigated for fraud. It could have been worse, since in the beginning it was you whom the board suspected—since you are the one creating the report—but as what you and Jungkook has proved after going back to plant and going through all the documentation, the lead is now on Junsu.

“Hey. You don’t need to worry. If he’s not doing it, it would be proven.” Jungkook rests his palm over yours, squeezing it a little after seeing the contorts on your face. He is able to easily read how perturbed you are right now with the fact that your teammate is indeed in trouble.

“Yes, you’re right.” You nod after taking a few deep breaths, sipping the tasteful liquid down your throat to subside your anxiety. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

But even still, Jungkook knows it is not effectively working. You are still in possession of the habit he found whenever something deeply bothers your mind. He identified it during your presentation this evening, or the night you ran away after your parents quarreled, even the day both of you were pugnaciously fighting and ended with separation a few years ago.

“Hey.” Jungkook envelopes your quivering fingers and pulls you closer to him, hand buried in your hair. “Please don’t worry. I don’t—I feel terrible when you’re sad.”

And then it was silence. All you can feel is Jungkook’s warmth all over your body, his arm around your shoulder, your head leaning on his shoulder, while your mind is in haze, wandering far, far away. Then you broke off the silence with something that has indeed been bothering you a lot.

“I don’t know since when, but I’m getting weaker every time.”

Jungkook hum as a notion for you to continue. “They say.. They say we should be stronger as we’re getting old. But it’s not for me.” You whisper weakly, holding your fingers together to stop it from quivering. “I hate it. I hate everyday I have to wake up, walking purposelessly. I hate feeling insecure. I hate not knowing where I should go in the long run. I am living, only for the day to pass by. And it’s killing me, that whenever something comes up in my way, I feel.. I feel weak. I’d dry my tears, then spend all the time doubting why I should go through all this pain, but I don’t know any other way.”

You feel every word comes out, Jungkook’s hold around you is tighter. And you’d be crazy not to lean back your every worry to him. “Hey, I understand what you feel. And I think it is a phase in life when we need to rethink everything and start chasing things that make us happy, and let go of the things that are holding us back. Life is about the journey, not a mere destination. No need to rush in anything, hmm?”

You reluctantly nod, agreeing to what he said. What’s inside your head now is only to make lots of money that can sustain your mother’s treatment and family’s lives, and that’s about it. And you love them to death, but you know you don’t want to do this in the long run. Even the sense of accomplishment doesn’t exactly make you happy anymore, and it’s mentally tiring as fuck to be doing something you know that is extracting you from everything you used to love about life. You’re practically a zombie now, with no sense of directions.

“Have you ever felt this way before? Like.. Helpless. And no matter how you think that you should do something about it, you can’t because you’re fucking scared?”

At that, Jungkook smiles and pecks the top of your head. His heart clenched at what you just said, cause that's exactly what he felt before he did something about it. “Yes. I felt that when I was in the States. I was helpless, visionless, and… day goes by only with me taking it for granted, letting myself think that I will never change and I should just suck it in. What they say, I have a great, wealthy family and all—I should be thankful. And that’s also what my father said to me.”

“At one point, I knew I felt humiliated. All I had was given to me, I just had to the bare minimum, and boom—I got it. I knew if I just went with it yet again, I’d go crazy. My father will put me at a gunpoint for what I gained, but I was scared since I was too comfortable.”

You look up to him, feeling the urge to give him comfort somehow. You do realize how contorted Jungkook’s face is now, he is literally so upset that it makes you feel horrible. “I had a fight with my father, as he forced me to move from the small startup I built with my friends to join his partner’s company in Investment Banking. When I rejected, he took a different approach and convinced my friend to cut me off the team. I confronted my father, and it was literally the greatest fight I had with him. Then the plan I purposelessly created became true. I fled to Korea.”

“So..” You whisper, looking down and clear your throat. “Are you still in contact with them?”

“My mother, yes. My father, no.”

“You must be missing them.” You whisper low while caressing his side. “But.. is it worth it? Are you happy now?”

He grins. “It’s worth it, of course—but not yet. But I’m getting there, I think.”

“The more I think about it, being happy is non-negotiable.” You whisper, more to yourself. Before it was just a far dream, but when Jungkook is here beside you to listen, it’s already a true-hearted promise. “And when I get that chance, I will surely prioritize it. At all cost.”

Another twenty minutes of silence just enjoying each other’s warmth, Jungkook’s whine is heard. “Can’t you hug me?”

You mindlessly glance at Jungkook who is now intensely staring you back. But seeing your noticeable confusion, he rolls his eyes and puts your arm around his waist. The blush is inevitable, you are literally holding him with no distance whatsoever. If you just straighten your head, your lips will be locking into his and you’ll lose your breath that easily. Your heart is too fast for your liking, but truth to be told, you wouldn’t trade this moment with him for anything else.

“Did you remember, we literally did this.” Jungkook chuckles, stroking your hair in somehow a very affectionate way. “That time, during the party and you force me to take you in after your parent’s fight. We were back to my room, and then we just hugged it out and you told me everything that happened.”

You nod with a distant smile, remembering how you literally came crying when Jungkook was in the middle of a beer pong with his friends, but he didn’t even wait another minute in complying to your request, seeing how hysterical you were. “Yes. I remembered how after we watched Bruce Almighty. It’s freaking nuts.”

“Let’s watch it again.” He giggles after refilling the glass for wine. “For old time sakes.”

The next five minutes you are scrolling down your netflix, Jungkook is contemplating whether he should ask the question that has been bothering his mind. The alcohol on his spine did help though—it is easier to just go with what he wants to say regardless of the rationality his mind would stop him.

“So tomorrow, you’d be with Taehyung? To your mother’s house?”

Indifferently nodding, you click on the movie. “My mother has been asking a lot about him, and I just reasoned that he moved away and was busy. I don’t want to let her know we’re not… close anymore.”

“Taehyung is actually that important, huh?” Jungkook asks, staring down to his drinks. The fact predictably settles strangely inside his chest, and it is fucking suffocating that he knows he has nothing and no one to blame but himself for feeling this way. “Understandable, though. Four years—I wouldn’t say I am shocked.”

“It is a long time indeed.”  

“I hope I have someone like that too.” He stopped for a while, eyes faraway. “So at least I can tell you that I stopped thinking about you after you left.”

That statement literally freezes all your movement—to the point that you think it’s all just your drunk hallucination. “What are you talking about?”

“I never stopped… thinking about you.” He dubiously murmurs, eyes trailed down his lap. “After I broke up, I’m still thinking about us, what could have been, and… regret?”

“Regret?”

“I know this might sound creepy, but.. After you left, I tried finding your whereabouts and what you’re up to. And after knowing what you’ve been through, I felt tremendous regret for being such a jerk to us.”

Suddenly, just when you’re about to turn around as you’re desperate to see through his eyes, he clutches on you, latching on your back. “I lied when I said I loved you, because I am still in love with you, Y/N. I know it’s silly—we were only a month together, not even official—but I just can’t shake the feeling away. Especially after seeing you again, talking to you again now..”

“And if you asked my last night why I worked in your company—it’s because after arriving, I was in a phase where I don’t know what I should do. At least if I work with you, I can see you again, and apologize, but at first we were not in the best term. But even then, I was happy to see you and talk to you again.”

Then, at once, you feel the back of your shirt is soaked wet. Your heart clenched with pain and sadness at how pained Jungkook must have been all these times. “Y/N, I am very sorry…”

“You told me you’re staying! You said you’ll stay with your father, with me here.” Jungkook cried when you told him you needed to move back to Seoul with your mother after the divorce. “You said your mother is horrible, Y/N. You are not doing this for yourself. You can’t leave.”

“Fuck, don’t act like you care about me now, Jungkook. You know, I was always wondering why you suddenly introduced yourself that night, but it’s because of Alex, right? Because I rejected him—and you wanted to check for yourself!”

Jungkook slammed the table in front of him that made you flinch. “Don’t you dare to change the topic. You’ll leave your father, your life here and me, because of your horrible mother that always made you cry, feel alone and horrible. Why are you so naive, Y/N?!”

You were already crying by then, the frustration built up in your chest. You knew the reason was already on the tip of your tongue—your mother is terribly sick and needed you the most—but you couldn’t let it out. Jungkook didn’t deserve to know. “Don’t act like you know me. One month fucking and you already think you can read me like a book? Grow up.”

“One month.. Fucking?” Jungkook weakly whispered, the tears were building up on the corner of his eyes. “Fine. I don’t fucking care about you. Fuck off to wherever, I don’t care.”

“Sure. You only cared about me because of a fucking bet anyway, right?!” You cried, the grief and constant fear of the end approaching, when Jungkook walked away.

It was the end.

The memory of your separation with Jungkook flashes inside your mind like it was just yesterday. You remember every word, every feeling, every tear spent that day. You couldn’t even count how many times you wished everything was different.

Jungkook is crying on your back, and you force to turn and see him right through his eyes. “Apology accepted, Jungkook. I was at fault too. I should’ve been clearer. I should’ve said it better. I am sorry too..”

You wipe his tears with your two palms and hug him, your chest against his, your arm around his waist. “Please don’t cry, hmm?”

Another seconds of light sniffles until he opens his voice. “You know, this is better than what I expected. With how many years has passed in guilt, I could’ve been puking with tears.” He lightly jokes and you giggle. Fuck, how is he so cute now?

“By the way, just in case you forgot—I just said I love you. It still stands.” Jungkook thinly smiles, his fingers fixing the strands of your hair falling in front of your eyes. Your heart is beating unhealthily fast now. “I don’t need you to answer now, of course. I just… I just want you to know.”

“I know.” You whisper softly, leaning into your will to tiptoe and press your lips against his. Jungkook instinctively closes his eyes, feeling the wondrous taste of cherry chapstick and wine from your lips. The feeling is addictive and wondrous that he seriously thinks he is hallucinating right now.

You are about to release the kiss, when his firm palm secures on your back, pressing your waist against his, his lips are chasing yours to engage in another breath-taking kiss. You welcome it at once, arms settling around his neck. “Tell me if you want to stop.” He murmurs into the kiss, but you’re way into cloud nine to stop. You’d be insane to let him go now.

His palm travels south to grab the flesh off your ass and pushes his hips closer to yours—if it’s even possible. You can make out the hard-on he has nurtured for a while now, and instantly suck your breath. “You can feel it, babe? It’s because of you—being such a minx tonight. Are you really going to keep on teasing me like this?”

You grin, feeling the adrenaline rush with the realization that you have Jungkook here, beside you, whispering you all these dirty words to your ear. You shift to press butterfly kisses to his neck all the way to his collarbones—encouraged by the bemoan he is letting out, intending to suck marks on his sun kissed skin until he gruffly pushes you away.

“Who gave you rights to mark me now, huh kitten?” He throatily purrs, swiftly scooping you into his arms, both your legs are crutched around his waist with his painful erection knocking on your clothed entrance. You spend no more second to entangle your lips with his again, his tongue gladly seeking warmth from yours—and god, he feels amazingly sweet, the taste of wine vivid on your taste bud. Fuck, he seriously can’t drive you crazier than this.

“Don’t want Namjoon to see my dry cum on your sofa, right babe?” Jungkook hoarsely wheezes, and those words literally screws all leftover sanity inside of you. Fuck, you missed this so much. Drowned in lust and desperate for friction, you find yourself continuously rubbing your core to his erection, until he paces you for himself. “Stop. I didn’t bring extra pants with me, babe—don’t wanna go home with pants wet with cum now.”

Jungkook hurriedly pushes your bedroom doors and throws you away on bed. “Y/N. Tell me to stop now, or I’ll never get a grip until I can finally have you.”

Instead of giving an answer, you inch closer until your fingers are in contact with his pants’ band. “You need help with that?” You brave yourself to whisper, gazing innocently right to his lust-darken eyes.

“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me.” He gratefully bemoans, as your finger moves to detached his pants and boxer to the ground—his erection immediately springs like never before. It is such a pretty, thick and long dick that your saliva literally pools. You instantly get on your knees, closing with eagerness to have a taste until he stops your advancement by pushing you to the bed.

“Not today, kitten. Maybe tomorrow—I need to have you now or I’ll go nuts.”

You pout, stubbornly moving to give a good caress on the length, satisfied with how Jungkook’s pupil immediately dilates at your ministry. “Are you sure, baby? I can do anything for you, though. My throat is ready for you to choke on.”

“Stop it. I want to be inside you now.” He hastily howls, so close to creaming your palm now that he needs to stop you. Jungkook’s mind is on cloud nine with your warm fingers around his girth, but he realizes he needs to have his dick pushed inside your cunt now, not even your hand or mouth can make it up. “Take off that fucking dress.” He orders.

“Yes, anything for you, sir.” You literally do not know what kind of courage is seeping through your vein, but seeing how affected he is literally made you ecstatic to tease him more. You briskly moves the satin night dress to your head and throws it across the room, baring all your lower body area.

“No underwear? Fuck, kitten, you better not act this carelessly when your roommate is here.” Jungkook breathily irks, enjoying the view of your almost naked body against him, yet spends no more second to detach your bra until your breasts are dangling freely. He immediately sucks a breath at the amazing sight.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Jungkook throatily whispers, more to himself before he engulfs both your breasts with his palm. He moves to pinch your hardened pebbles, feeling high with your moans that is literally a green light inside his mind that you are indeed enjoying his act. He swiftly buries your right nipple inside his mouth, giving it a light suck, flicking it with his skillful tongue which turns you to a moaning mess. You close your eyes, feeling the tension inside your body build up while cradling his face closer to you, your fingers pulling the hair on his scalp. You do not even realize his left hand has left your breast, now moving to circle your bare clit, and you instantly mewl in pleasure.

“What are you so wet for, kitten? Tell me.” He breathily hisses, moving to coat his two fingers with your remnants, dips it inside his mouth and licks it dry. Your pupil dilates at such a dirty act, but still Jungkook is unhappy with your lack of response, he hits your throbbing cunt. “Use your fucking tongue to answer.”

You instantly mewl to reply, albeit stuttering when you feel his forefinger finally buries inside of you. “Of course you, sir. I am wet because of you.”

Jungkook grins in satisfaction, before he wastes no mercy and buries three fingers inside you, stretching you deliciously until you whimper in satisfaction. “So freaking wet, I bet I can slide right in. Are you going to let anyone do this to you, kitten? Hmm?”

“No, sir...” You groggily answer, your head is soaked in all kinds of lust.

“Louder! Let your fucking neighbors hear it.” Jungkook growls, pushing his digits further inside until you claw on his clothed shoulder. Fuck him for still being in his shirt—you’d do anything to mark him now.

“No, sir. Only you can make me like this…”

He sinisterly laughs, pleased with your easy compliance. “You better not be lying, kitten. Don’t you let anyone do this to you, especially fucking Kim Taehyung.”

Your eyebrows immediately scrunched at the name, but it could probably be the last thing you can contemplate now that his fingers are still beautifully moving in and out of your wet cunt. “I will, I fucking will. But get this fucking shirt off and fuck me, sir—I need to feel you bare against me.”

As he is about to enter you, he suddenly freezes. “Do you have a condom here?” He breathily asks, realize that he did not take even one with him—as fucking you was literally the last possibility he could think of before. God, does he really need to stop now?

“I don’t have a condom—but I am on the pill and safe, I swear.” You whisper, the ache on your core starting to cloud your head and better judgement. Fuck, Jungkook better be fast or you’ll be dead by then.

“Me too. I tested myself back in the States, and haven’t been sleeping with anyone since.”

“Really? How can?” You unconsciously ask, seriously flabbergasted with the fact that Jungkook hasn't fucked anyone after he moved into the city. The Jungkook you knew was so much of a god of stamina—he literally lasted five rounds with you before and still managed to have an erection after, when you can’t even feel your legs. He is that crazy for sex.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’ll tell you all about it later, but I need to fuck you raw now or I’ll go insane.” He hurriedly answers, instantly throws his shirt away as his whole body is bare against yours. Jungkook reaches for his dick, as his fingers move to give it a few strokes. He is now coating it with your remnants by hitting your entrance lightly with his dick. Even with such action you are already a moaning mess, as you bit your lips in anticipation.

Yet when the head is about to dip inside you, you reach for the bed sheet, clenching the fabric harshly. You haven’t been sleeping around for months now, you’re sure it’s going to hurt a bit—especially with that excessive size of his.

“How are you so freaking big? Fuck, don’t go too rough on me, Jungkook..” You softly  whisper, and Jungkook instantly nods. No matter how crazy and a true dom he is, he would not hurt or go against your consent—that’s just how much he loves and respects you.

Even with the heavy urge to fuck you senseless like he wants to, he surely takes his whole joyful time in making love. His length pushing inside you, stretching you wondrously that the pain turns into pleasure in no time. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks your nipple to keep you on the edge. “Damn, you are wonderful. I can’t believe I was able to live those years without this taste.”

“Fuck, Jungkook.” You moan, biting your lips as you nearly can’t hold yourself from screaming. How can sex with Jungkook be this mindblowing? You had one night stands previously with other person, but sex with him is like on another level—that’s probably what feelings can do to sex. “Faster, now. Don’t hesitate.”

At the invitation, the worries that he’s going to hurt you dissolve as he fastens and follow his own pace, his dick fucking you senseless with ragged breath. God, how he wishes he can do this every second of the day, buried inside you, looking at your pleasured face drowned in lust and pleasure, your beautiful moans and fingers scratching his back. He’d trade anything to have you like this again.

“Fuck, kitten, how are you so tight? I am fucking close.” Jungkook groans as he chases his high, sensing your walls are now clenching him tightly. He inches closer to engage you in another kiss, his tongue pushing inside you while his digits are circling your clit. You claw his back, letting out all sound with no holds back as the pleasures are too much now—the orgasm building up inside you, and Jungkook definitely can sense it coming. “Cum now, kitten.”

While Jungkook and you are still engaged in another heated kiss, your high finally comes as you cum on his dick. “Good girl.” He whispers with one last kiss before he chases his own, and not even another second he pulls out, squirting his cum all over your stomach.

You frown, looking at the liquid on your stomach. “Damn it, you should’ve cum inside me. I’m on the pill anyway.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at your remarks, yet he is grinning from ear to ear. He lays beside you, engaging you in another soft, slow kiss as you close your eyes, your palms settled on the side of his face. “I love you.” He whispers after letting go, his beautiful doe eyes literally shining with the creases that is apparent whenever he is smiling wide. It seeps warmth to your heart.

The reply for his confession is already at your tongue, but Jungkook quickly scoots away to stand on the floor. You bit your lips, disliking the fact that he is too far from your reach, no matter how fast he’ll be back. You need him here, to ensure that everything is not just a wet dream of yours. “Come back, don’t leave me.” You whine, and Jungkook giggles breathily.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, clingy McGee. I’ll get you a wet towel.”

Another minute and Jungkook is back with what he promised, as he closes beside you and wipes his own cum off your stomach.

“What a waste. You should’ve cum in my tongue and let me swallow it all.” You mutter half joking half seriously while yawning, as your eyes follow his every movement. He sends you a warning glare, unhappy with your constant teasing.

“If you don’t want me to pin you against the matters now and fuck you against the wall until you’re screaming for mercy, stop it.”

“Geez, sooo grumpy.” You giggle, scooting closer to him as in chase of heat after he settles beside you, draping the blanket to cover both your bodies.

“I’ll take you up on that tomorrow, though.” He lightly giggles, and you’re the one now rolling your eyes on him. He envelopes you around his arm, pressing another kiss on your forehead before caressing your head to sleep—just the way he remembers would instantly send you to slumber.

But no matter how tired you already are, your body are still high on adrenaline due to the great sex you just had—you just cant seems to sleep. Not when Jungkook is here holding you close, looking at you like that with evident love in his eyes. And suddenly an idea pops inside your head, until you smirk in mischief.

“Why are you smiling like that? I told you to sleep.” He asks cautiously. You shrug to pretend innocence, before scooting closer until your bare waist is glued on his own, slightly rubbing it against his semi-hard dick. Wow, the self control on this guy is impressive for not initiating a second round.

Jungkook immediately curses at your teasing, yet the pleasure in his face is unmissed. “Fuck, what are you—“

“I’m sweating, Jungkook. I want to take a shower.” You whine seductively, your fingers stray to the lower parts of his body now, caressing his semi. Jungkook’s eyes are now unmistakably dark, as you realize that you might just awaken the true dom in Jungkook.

“I was literally being civil since you got to go back home with fucking Taehyung tomorrow, but damn—I’ll fuck you so bad anyone know who fucked you tonight, huh? I’ll make sure you can’t walk straight tomorrow, kitten.” He smirks, and that literally sends jitters right to your core in deep anticipation. You missed it—the feeling of Jungkook mercilessly fucking you like there’s no tomorrow.

Jungkook instantly scoops you out of bed in one movement, the blanket falls on the floor.   Your legs are linked around his waist, your throbbing entrance pressed against his erection as you rub it for relief. His mouth aggressively attacking yours for domination, as his firm legs walk towards your shower.

“Let’s get my kitten thoroughly cleaned, okay?” Jungkook teasingly moans to your ear, his thumbs are now pinching your hardened nipples. Your whole body shivers.

Thus begin the best sex you ever have in your whole life.

*

You wake up groggily with the sunshine seeping through your window. What happened with you, why are you feeling the biting pain all over your body? The memory of last night instantly hits you like an explosion.

You had sex with Jungkook—which lasted three freaking rounds.

And fuck wasn’t he holding back. He literally was just like you remembered, a true dom that sent your knees weak, pleasuring you like nobody could. He took care of your body like it's the only thing on his mind—and you would be lying if you say you didn’t enjoy his true dom self released, marking you all over your body with love bites, forcing you to plead for his mercy and leaving you breathless nearly all the time.

But he is not here now.

You gaze to the cold side of your bed where Jungkook slept last night. It must be long since he left, only with a small note on your bedside that ensures you that what happened last night isn’t just a mere dream.

Hi, thanks for last night. I had to leave, something urgent came up. See you around.

Fuck, if that wasn’t such a lousy note to start the day with. Such a fool you are to expect the sex matters to you as much as it is to him.

Regardless of the ticked off feeling you had for Jungkook, you scoot off your bed, trying to use both your throbbing legs to stand up. The pain instantly shoots up that you instantly bite your lips, limping your way out of the door. Fuck Jungkook, you loathe that fucker so much now.

“Whoa whoa—slow down babe.” Namjoon instantly shouts after you’re carelessly limping out of the door closer to him. “Someone got a good dicked down yesterday.” He teases, and you sent him an annoyed expression.

“Why are you so grumpy? You finally had sex after months, you should be glowing.” Namjoon giggles while stirring his coffee. You flip him off, settling to sit on the sofa. “You want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.” You mutter. “What time did you come back home?”

“Around two, maybe? Wasn’t really in my best state of mind, so that could be wrong too. What’s up?”

He walks closer to you, offering a cup of coffee with scent that succeeds in relaxing your mind a bit. “I did not meet the guy, you don’t have to worry. Who was it anyway? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Around two? He left before two? “Did you check up on me when you come?” You ask dubiously, knowing Namjoon has always checked up on you when he arrives in the apartment.

“Yes, there was no one. I saw you sleeping, and went to my room right after.”

“Fuck—he really left that early?!” You hiss, not liking the fact that he left you just later after you sleep with such a lousy note that clearly indicates nothing—he probably uses the same note for all his previous one night stands.

“But.. You know, it could be weird for strangers to stay the night after sex—“

“But he’s not a stranger.” You vengefully replied, the hurt evident in your tone. “It’s Jungkook. Jungkook slept with me yesterday and fled right after with a fucking lousy ‘thanks for last night’ note.”

“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook?” He asks with goggling eyes. He seriously thought he misheard your words. “But you hated him.”

“It was complicated. We.. We had a past together. And these few days just rekindled those feelings, and.. I thought he was really serious about it.” You whispers, the tears are welling in the corner of your eyes. “I tried thinking positively, that he really had something to do, but he left so quickly and also with this note.. got me thinking. Was it too fast? What if everything is just in my head, and he’s only after sex?”

Namjoon looks at the yellow note on your grasp, taking it to read the messy handwriting for himself. Yet no matter how hard he thinks about it, he understands your doubt. It was indeed a messy, hurried note that he indeed heard people often leave their one night stand.

“It’s still uncertain. Just talk to him, okay?” Namjoon asks, his palm resting on your knees and giving it a light squeeze. “There might be something you don’t know yet.”

You sigh, crumpling the note and throwing it carelessly. “I fucking hate him.”

“Hey, by the way you left your phone here, and Taehyung called this morning.” He informs, but you know that expression he wears—something is troubling his mind.

“What is that face?” You instantly point. “You always use that expression when you have something to say.”

“You know me so well.” Namjoon grins, eyes trained on the coffee on his grasp. “I had a drink with Taehyung and others yesterday. And yeah, after the drink, I just think that he.. He might be still in love with you.”

“What do you mean?” Your eyebrows scrunched, severely confused.

“That’s all I can say. If you want to know, better ask the man himself. You’re meeting him soon, right?” Namjoon reminds you, and you abruptly stand up—still holding back the pain, after being reminded that Taehyung shall be here in no time.

“And, Y/N?”

You halt your steps, looking back to the guy. “What?”

“Just.. don’t hesitate. Go with your heart.” Namjoon advises. Your throat constricts. Follow your heart? You don’t even understand what that idiot wants. Your heart is a drunk fool, doesn’t really know what’s good for itself, and always foolishly seeks something that is not going to happen. Why should you go with it?

He is apparently not done, and clears his throat and points to his own neck. “And maybe, put some concealer on? Don’t want your mother to have a heart attack seeing those marks on your neck.”

And that’s how in forty minutes, you ended up wearing navy green turtleneck and long skinny jeans—thankfully the chilly weather does support your outfits—descending your apartment building after Taehyung said he’s already parked in front. You were distinctly nervous, going back to your family home with Taehyung after the longest time. Just being around him sends you on your edge, and you could only wish nothing is going to mess everything up.

The first thing you see when the elevator is opened is Taehyung’s face that you abruptly take a step back in shock. His face immediately lightens up. “Good morning. You’re here.”

“Yes. I thought I’ll see you in your car?”

“Sure, I just thought it would be great to see your apartment.” Taehyung answers, a soft smile appearing on his lips. Namjoon’s sentences instantly pass through your head as a warning. You clear your throat.

“Namjoon is upstairs, though...”

“So? Is that a problem for me to see your apartment?” He mischievously teases, pulling you to exit the apartment. “What were you thinking, huh?”

“Nothing!” You abruptly answer, silently letting Taehyung hold your palm against his, no matter how conflicted it makes you feel.

“By the way, are you okay, babe?” Taehyung asks in concern after arriving at the car, reminding you to put on your seatbelt. Your eyebrow raises.

“I think so. Why?”

“Did you fall or anything? You are..  Kind of limping.” He questions in deep concern, looking straight to your eyes. At once, your breath hastens with anxiety. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Of course—I fell in the shower yesterday, and got hurt a bit, yeah..” You tightly mutter. At least it was not a hundred person lie.

Gosh, how you wish you can punch that annoying motherfucker now…

*

“Taehyung! You’re here!”

You glare at your beaming mother slightly skipping to welcome both of you from her tended yard, crushing Taehyung in a big hug. “Mom, I’m right here too. And last time I checked, I’m the one who is related by blood to you.”

“Don’t be such a party pooper, Y/N.” Taehyung giggles, affectionately hugging back your mother. “I’m sorry mom, Y/N is soooo grumpy this morning. She may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“It’s just I haven’t seen you in so long. How is my precious son doing?!” Your mother beams, instantly welcoming Taehyung inside the house, leaving you alone to pick up the fruits and cake you brought from Seoul. But not even long, the scowl changes into a contented smile on your lips.

You are grateful that nothing really changes, especially with Taehyung. He is still the one person you can depend the most in this whole world.

Suddenly, among your wandering thoughts your phone rings. You hurriedly pick up, not even checking the caller. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N?” You notice the change of language, and silently checks the number. Abroad numbers? Suspicious.

“Yes, this is she.” You doubtfully answer.

“Hello, This is Jess. I’m here in Seoul today, can we meet?”

Jess? Who is Jess? You can’t literally remember anyone called Jess beside… your friend back in the States. You were not even remotely close, so there’s no way it could be her.

“Sorry, but which Jess?”

She instantly clears her throat, probably embarrassed at the possibility of you not remembering. “We went to the same high school back in the States, before your parents divorced and you moved to Korea.”

So that’s the correct Jess then. But that still doesn’t explain why she is calling you right now, especially with that unnecessary mention of your parent’s divorce. “Ah, I remember now. But why? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes, I am in Seoul now. I have to talk to you about something, I promise it won’t take a while.”

“But why? We haven’t talked in years, what could possibly be the reason why we should meet?” You annoyedly point out, not even caring that you have turned hostile to her. You really don’t want to waste any time, especially with Taehyung now at the door, signing you to come in.

“It’s about Jungkook.” She curtly answers, and your heart literally skips a beat at the name. What’s with Jungkook? Your heart clenches with the fear rising in your chest.

“His family and I are here now to take him back to the States, so I have to let you know something. Let’s meet.”

*

It is not long until you and Jess are already sitting in front of each other inside a cafe near your family home. You left Taehyung at home with your family, and promised them you’ll be back in no time.

“You want to order something? My treat.” The girl says after ordering her drinks. You shake your head, not even enjoying the seconds uselessy passed with her. You are just desperate to get it over with and head home.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t remember you being this uptight, Y/N. Loosen up, will you?”

“Well, you don’t know, probably because we weren’t even that close?” You shoot and sigh. “Can we just go straight to the point? My mother is waiting at home.”

Jess hums. “And Kim Taehyung too?”

You glare at her, the uneasiness rising in your head. You have no idea why she should know anything about Taehyung. “What the—”

“I’ll cut to the chase. Jungkook is his family’s only son. His father already had his future all planned out, but then one day he ran away to work in a country far away, with a job that probably pays a quarter from what he could have back home.” She halts after the waitress serves her drinks. “And then we finds out that he is here because of you, a fucking ex—who was just a mere fuck buddies. So we need you to think straight and stop seeing him.”

You stare at her for a full minute until you break in laughter. “What’s funny?” She irks.

“Fuck, this is all just like a midday telenovela, that’s what.” You giggle, still finding mirth in her previous statement. You clear your throat, and send her an not amused look. “Let me fill you in. I don’t fucking care. He’s here because himself, you’re thinking too highly of that one month we fucked. And who are you to say that anyway? You’re his mother or what?”

Jess condescendingly smirks in triumph. “I am his girlfriend. We have been dating all through college before he moved here. I have all right to tell cockroaches like you to scoot off. Besides, you already have Kim, no? Are you really that thirsty for lots of men?”

That statement literally catches you off guard. Girlfriend? Jungkook never mentions anything about a girlfriend. He literally said that he hadn’t been with anyone and that he thought about you most of the time. Was it all… just a lie?

It was like a knock to your chest, but you won’t let it show. “Then you should know better that if you dated all through college, there is no way he could move here because of me.” You calmly explain, the anger and sadness of betrayal building up in your chest. It feels hard to even breathe, and you feel so stupid for believing his words could be true—now that you rewind literally made no sense whatsoever. Jungkook is not with anyone for years, only because of you? Fuck, that’s literally nonsensical.

“And if you’re his girlfriend, you should know he’s here because he is depressed—feeling the inadequacy and constant restriction in doing whatever he wants to do. If you’re his girlfriend, you should support whatever he wants to do for his happiness, instead of teaming up with his father that literally treated him like a fucking robot.” You spit out in dismay, the tears are welling up in your eyes. You hated the fact that you’ve foolishly put your trust on someone undeserving, yet again.

It’s clear now that you have left the girl speechless, and you quickly stomp out of the cafe inside of Taehyung’s car you borrowed. You quickly drive out, with tears freely running on your cheeks, your heart turns hollow and vacant now that you know.

You are a fucking idiot, that’s what.

*

It’s already eleven pm, you are now resting in your room in the family home. Your mother successfully tricked you into staying the night, but Taehyung said he needed to go back to his apartment because he doesn’t have any shirt to change to—denying your mother’s forward offer to let him stay the night with you in your room. The level of trust your mother has in Taehyung is seriously ridiculous—but still he said he’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up, as he needed to work in the headquarters for a full week next week.

‘Are you okay?’ Taehyung queried when he was about to drive back, hand clasped against yours. ‘You seemed a little bit upset after that meeting.’

Even then, you could only answer him with a vague shrug, a hug and you cried. Taehyung didn’t ask any further, patting your back calmly while whispering calming words to your ear. He understood you need your space more than anything, and you were thankful.

But now, flipping on your bed for hours hasn’t drifted you to dreamland yet, especially with a head filled with Jungkook and overwhelming queries on how he’s doing right now. And you hate yourself for still caring—it’s freaking Jungkook, who left you after he had enough, who easily lied to you just to sleep with you. Why can’t you just ditch him like that?

Maybe you’re really in love. A total dumbass.

Suddenly, your phone rings. Unknown numbers. Call with Jess did traumatize you, but not taking it will leave you close to no wink of sleep, so you do.

“Hello?” You warily questions. There are around ten seconds before the familiar sigh is heard on the other side of the call.

“Y/N, this is Jungkook.” The familiar voice is close to whispers, and all you can hear is how tired he sounds. Something definitely stirs inside of you. “Are you in your mother’s home? I’ll be there in ten. Can we talk?”

You know it. You know it very, very well. He might as well done it over the phone—it may hurt less. “Is it urgent? Can’t.. can’t we just do it over the phone?”

“No, we need to talk directly. It doesn’t feel right doing it on the phone.”

Fuck, it’s really is. Jungkook is breaking up with you—with no relationships to begin with. The tears are clamming up on your eyes, and you can only hope you’re strong enough to pretend everything’s okay. Cause you hate to show him how weak you are for him.

And not even ten minutes, Jungkook messages you he’s already waiting outside. You walk outside your room to see that your whole house is already dark—your family must have gone to sleep. Good, so they don’t have to see you bawling your eyes out.

When you are at your porch, you can already make out his silhouette from the car. His hand is on the wheel, other hands are resting on his temples—the lines of his face are harsh and cold. Taking a deep breath, you give yourself one last warning and enter his car.

“What is it?” You curtly ask, and Jungkook looks at you with a weirded out stare.

“Why are you angry?”

You roll your eyes, arms folded on your chest. “Because I know clearly why you are here. Jess explicitly told me about everything—you don’t need to waste both of our times, going all the way here just because you want to break up with me. That too if anything of what we did was more than something to you.”

Jungkook stares at you like you’re spluttering nonsense, which you actually are and it leaves you disconcerted. “What—what the fuck are you saying now?”

You scowl. “No need to lie. I know exactly what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna need to move back, right? And you’ll leave your whole life here—” The tears choke you up. “You’ll leave me here. But let me say it, do whatever, Jungkook. It will be just like before, right? It’s not like we've never done this before.”

If you’re really doing it to hurt him, you succeed. Because the pain is literally insufferable.  “Is that what we mean to you? Are you going to just let everything like this like not a shit happened to us?”

“You’re funny, Jungkook. There’s never been an ‘us’, you know it.” You vex with a sarcastic grin. “There’s never been us. Because you lied to me, fuck me and stood me up like nothing happened, right?”

“That’s not true.” He firmly said. “I left first because of my father, Y/N. He told me he’s in town. I need to meet him, why can’t you understand?!”

“I know that! But you expected me to believe all you said when Jess literally came all the way from the States to tell me to fuck off and that you’re in a relationship with her all through college.” Jungkook freezes on his spot, but you’re not done. “Is that wrong, Jungkook? Tell me she lied and I’ll grovel at your feet for forgiveness.”

At Jungkook’s silence, you can feel a stingy pang inside your chest. It was true, he lied. “So she was right? You lied to me—telling me there was no one, only to sleep with me?”

“It’s not true, Y/N. Jess was just… someone I affiliated with. We were not in a relationship.” He hurriedly tries to explain, hand scratching his hair in frustration. “And why does it matter anyway? It’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter now. I only care about you, you know it.”

“It matters! Because you told me there was no one. Because you lied to me, Jungkook. Why can’t you see how wrong it is?”

“She was just someone I fucked with all through college. Even if she thought there was something else, there was none. I set it straight to her, but she never understands.” He softly whispers now. “I regretted it, Y/N. But you can’t hold it against me. I had no feelings for her.”

You know his words should’ve brought reassurance, but the words clearly strike something inside you—a remembrance of pain. You croak. “You know what, that’s exactly what Taehyung told me that time.”

“What-what’s that fucker doing here in our talk?” His voice raises in displease at your mention of another man during your serious talk. “So was everything about Taehyung? All of this—even when we’re fighting, you’re thinking about him. It was all about him all along.”

“No, but the exact thing happened again. You were being dishonest to me. You hurt me, Jungkook.” You whisper softly, cheeks already flowing with tears that it literally throws him off at how fragile you look. “I can’t… I can’t shake that feeling. How I felt when she said everything, like she owned you, like… like she has rights for you. Like I was someone you played with behind her. It was exactly.. that.”

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to feel that way.” Jungkook whispers and pulls you closer inside his arm, heart clenched in guilt at your weak sob. He hates himself for doing that to you—to let you enter the maze of problems he has tried to escape from a while now. You don’t deserve that. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I know I should’ve been clearer about everything.”

Ten minutes of crying your concern and heart out inside his arms before you open your voice. “So, she was right? Are you leaving, then?”

He dubiously hums. “I have to, otherwise my father will never stop trying to get me back. I’ll try finishing whatever I can there, and come back right after.” He whispers, palms buried on your hair. “I promise it won’t take long. Can you wait for me?”

You look at Jungkook's hopeful eyes and the ‘yes’ is already at your tongue—when something awakens you. You cannot do that to yourself. You cannot let yourself be miserable, waiting for him again like a broken clock. You cannot gamble your way to mend everything when he leaves, not when there’s any possibility like he’ll leave you again like he did. You’re not that strong.

“I can’t.” You shortly reply, and at the unexpected answer, Jungkook is visibly aggrieved.

“Why? Why can’t you? I’ll be back soon, Y/N—Why do you give up on us that easily?” Jungkook is peeved at your easy surrender. He loves you, he is willing to work it out for you, and it weakens him to see you’re not on board to fight for any feelings you both have for each other. “I know you, Y/N. I know me. We had something together. Please, don’t give up on us.”

“I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy?” You shouts, carrying the long pain you have carried throughout your days. “I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt. If I wait for you, I’ll always feel insecure, Jungkook. I’ll always wonder if you’re going back, if you have found someone else, if we’re just going to hurt each other. Because that's what people did to me—to my mother, to us… I can’t.”

Jungkook shudders at the mention of your family. Did he hear it wrong? “Did you mean… your father? But I thought… I thought—”

“Yes.” The hurt multiplies, palpable on your face. “My father lied to me. He is a manipulative jerk who never gave a shit about his family, and made my mother the bad guy in front of me. He didn’t care at all—my mother was struggling with cancer and he didn’t give a shit and still went with the divorce. I just knew after my mother went to find me, beg me to come with her after the divorce.”

The regret at his old self, patronizing you without knowing the truth hits him like a brick. “God, Y/N, I’m sorry. I was—”

“I know. It was such a stressful time, and the pain my mother had to endure because of him—I hated him so much I could die, Jungkook. He hurt me, he hurt us. And he is now living well with his new family, the one he cheated with before. It is not fucking fair.”

Jungkook moves forward to hold you close, his heart wrenching in pain to imagine how agonizing it must have been for you and your mother. “I’m sorry for everything. I was a stupid jerk who thought I knew everything, you had every rights to hate me. I am very, very sorry, Y/N.”

“That’s why I have trust issues. I know very well that one bad apple doesn’t define everything, but it made me more cautious above anything. I can’t afford being weak now, I can’t gamble on the future whether what we had now is gonna last. I don’t want to be naive.”

No matter how he wants to refute your words, he can’t. Because Jungkook understands where you’re coming from, and how traumatizing it must have been. He’d be insensitive to shrug your concern away. “I understand. But I won’t ask for more, Y/N..”

“I’ll be back before December ends.” Jungkook determinedly claims, holding you closer that his nose point is touching yours, warm palms against the side of your face which sends your whole being to instant chaos. His eyes are like a deep sea, that you’re willing to fall in and never out, and all you want to do is hold him close, kiss him and never let go.

“And when we finally meet, I’ll let you know that I will still be loving you then and I’m going to fight for us. No matter what happened.”

*

After having breakfast with both your mother, grandma and Taehyung, you hug the goodbyes. You regret it though, the days passed so quickly and you don’t really have much time to completely be in the moment with your family since your mind is wandering far. If your mother knows, she doesn’t comment—but you know that soft gaze she endows, she is worried for you.

“Goodbye, son! Do visit us regularly, okay?” Your mother beams, hugging Taehyung. She glances at you walking to your room to grab your purse and continues. “I’m very worried for her. Can you please make sure she’s okay?”

“What happened?” Taehyung asks in concern. He did notice something changed after you met your friend yesterday, but it’s definitely getting prominent this morning. 

“Someone came to our house yesterday, and spent some time in the car. After, she walks out crying.” Your mother frets, squeezing Taehyung’s palm. “I’m worried. Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course I will.” Taehyung smiles in a comforting manner, tapping on your mother’s palm. “You can count on me, mom.”

Your mother instantly smiles, as she understands by heart she really can count on Taehyung for you. “Thank you. Get going now!” She gestures to walk you out to Taehyung’s car.

Sitting inside the car, your eyes are trained out the window, minds wandering far to last night’s encounter with Jungkook. He said he’ll be back, and you shouldn’t believe him—you told him you won’t, but deep inside you never stopped wishing his words are true. You foolishly believe him with all your heart.

“Hey.”

Taehyung’s call abruptly takes you off your wandering thoughts, shifting your gaze at him. You clear your throat. “Yes? Sorry, I was daydreaming for a while there.”

“I think you’ve been daydreaming all the time we’re here.”

He said the words softly and didn’t mean anything, yet it instantly hits you with guilt. “I’m sorry, I was—”

“Was it about Jungkook?”

“What?” Your eyes widened, heart literally skips a beat. Are you really that obvious?

Taehyung stares at you for a few seconds, then focusing back on the street. “It’s just a lucky guess. And seeing how shocked you were just now, it must be true.”

“It is.” You look down to your lap. “I’m sorry for concerning you.”

“What are you sorry about.” Taehyung chuckles, tapping the top of your head. “He is finally here. The one you’ve been thinking about all through college, your first love, your first heartbreak is here. You should be happy.”

It’s true though. You can’t even count how many people you have pushed away only because you’re thinking about Jungkook. In the period where everyone is just desperate to find love or mere sex, you are not even remotely close to it. You weren’t with anyone all through college. All because you’re thinking about how it feels right to be with Jungkook, how in love you actually were and how foolish it could be to let go of one thing that could have been true just because you were too deep in emotion.

And Taehyung was one of the people that lived through that phase of shutting any possibility of love. He couldn’t even forget how his college friends, or even strangers asking him why are you so closed off, refusing any advancement anyone did. But Taehyung shrugged it away, because he knew how you still couldn’t forget your first love. He didn’t even know how or why you are still able to hold into that love for such a long time—not until he fell for you himself.

When he asked you to be his girlfriend a year ago and you said yes, he really thought you were ready to move on. Finally. And maybe you were, before he messed up everything and it’s already too late. Because Jungkook is back, and how can he compare to the first love, which vaguely ended and still left a sour taste of regret in your heart.

When he saw Jungkook that morning, he knew. He knew that he didn’t stand a chance. Because it’s apparent how head over heels he is still with you, like you are with him. And he just needs to accept it.

“Go with your heart, Y/N.” Taehyung croaks, holding the deep urge inside him forcing him to stop being such goody two shoes. Taehyung is still in love with you. Madly. He loves you for quite a long time now, and he wanted to be yours. But how can he be selfish when you are clearly struggling like this?

“Do you know? The biggest regret I have is to let you go.” 

You glance at Taehyung, as something stirs inside your heart with him addressing your past. “I regret not making everything clear. I regret not fighting for us. I regret not being honest with you, because I was selfish and too much of a coward.”

“I still love you.” Taehyung whispers, the grip on the wheel tightened. You stare at him, speechless while Namjoon’s past words suddenly run through your mind. “But it’s okay. Because above anything, I want you to be happy. Seeing you being miserable makes me extremely sad, Y/N. Please, just go with your heart and be happy.”

Another minute passed in silence, before you mutter gloomily. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say..”

“Let me guide you, then.” Taehyung smiles, his palm resting over yours and gives it a light squeeze. “Thank you for loving me, Taehyung. I know we’ll get through this, as best friends. And you are right, I’ll go with my heart and try to take risk in love, because even though it might hurt me, at the very least I followed my heart instead of my fear.”

His words literally punch you in the gut, because now that he’s the one saying it to you, it never felt clearer. You indeed have been following your fear, discarding how you truly feel for anything or anyone. You love Jungkook, but being afraid has shielded you from following what you really want to do.

Another ten minutes before you give his hand a light squeeze. “You know, I never thought you'd be that much of a bigger person.” You lightly joke, in which Taehyung responds with a snort. “You were not usually like this. Where’s my selfish and self-righteous bestie at?!”

“Well, don’t consider I’m letting you go just yet.” He shrugs jokingly, rolling his eyes. You heartily laugh at that. “Besides, life is still long, right? Don’t count it on me giving up just yet, Y/N. I might just steal your heart away, and that lucky bastard Jungkook should be nervous.” You gaze at Taehyung who is looking back at you with his signature boxy smile, and your heart lightens. God, how lucky you are to have such a great companion like him.

“You know what? He really should.”

*

7 Weeks Later…

Jungkook is looking at the watch on his wrist. It’s already 4PM in his time and 8AM in Seoul. You must be preparing for work, he thinks to himself, unconsciously smiling. That’s what he does whenever it concerns you. He’ll be adored at the thoughts of you walking hastily inside the office, throwing all your belongings on your desk before you begin working. He always finds it endearing. And then, he’ll miss you. He will miss looking at you, talking and bantering with you again.

But not today, since he’ll be over in Seoul in no time.

All seven weeks back in the States were dreadful, but he managed. He knew that it was longer than expected, but he managed to steal the time to find you again. Because in all sincereness, all that he can think of is you.

blueberry_25 : good thursday morning! Soo happy gonna end the week soon! [16:05]

blueberry_25 : what are you doing this weekend? Do you wanna meet? :) [16:06]

It’s funny how he gives you the space you deserve, yet still manages to talk to you again nearly everyday. All because of the pen pal event held by the company which he has resigned from. He needed to take a long break, and had to resign after. The company did give him an option if he wanted to return back, but with the current condition, he is not really sure whether he can return for good.

But at least he got some time to see you again. Which is good.

91snowball : hi, blue, hope you have a great day today too! :) [16:07]

91snowball : we’re going to meet tomorrow. The christmas event, remember? [16:07]

blueberry_25 : I nearly forgot! So hectic today since that finance guy resigned and caused such chaos again. Thanks for the reminder though lol [16:08]

Jungkook literally winces, as you haven’t stopped complaining about the sudden resignation of the finance guy that is literally him regarding your overwhelming work caused by a certain prematurely resigning self-centered jerk. Even one time he mistakenly apologized for it. Nevertheless, it was all fun and games before he thought about how to break it up to you. That he is a snowball, the person you’ve been chatting with anonymously for months, and nearly everyday now. Talking to you were the highlights of his days, and he couldn’t stop. Even for a day.

And he is in the dark on how to break the truth to you. 

The soft chimes of his phone takes him away from the busy thoughts. Jungkook looks down and finds another message from you. The heartfelt smile instinctively appears on his lips.

blueberry_25 : did you get me anything? ;) Can I set my expectations high? [16:10]

91snowball : haha hope so. See you tomorrow, okay? [16:10]

The announcement for passengers to onboard is heard, so Jungkook raises from his seat to join the queue. An anonymous feeling shot through his chest, a heartfelt smile formed on his lips. He is going back. Finally. He finally is going to see you again and it feels terribly unreal. 

Right when another message arrives, and at once the corners of his mouth instantly flattens.

Mom : Son,don’t forget. I’ll pick you up next week. [16:12]

*

“Bye, Y/N, Hoseok!” 

Another person from your team has escaped the dreaded office, yet you and Hoseok are still not showing any sign of moving from your respective places. There are still a few action items on your list that need to be checked off by the night if you want to have a peaceful weekend, and you are determined to have them finished asap.

Because you are going to meet Snowball tomorrow. And you’re going to spend your whole weekend with him too.

“Y/N, why are you not going home?” Hoseok asks in worry while glancing at your screen. “This report needs to be submitted on Monday. You can finish it tomorrow.”

“But tomorrow we are having that Christmas event. I want to finish this before then.” You answer nonchalantly, still typing agilely on your keyboard. Seeing how befuddled Hoseok looks, you roll your eyes. “That pen pal secret santa event. Remember?”

Hoseok instantly turns silent at the mention of the event. God, how could he forget? Tomorrow the office’s Christmas party will be held, along with the first meeting of the anonymous pen pal buddies. Jimin and his team have everything planned out, in which the pair would give a gift inside a box which includes a card to describe and help find who is their pen pal.

It was indeed a brilliant idea. But maybe not to the fact that Jungkook is literally your pen pal, and the fact that you are unaware of how close he has been even after he left.

It doesn’t even need an exquisite skill to guess that something happened with Jungkook and you, especially discernible after he left. You turn greatly silent, and he found you zooming out more than you’d like to admit, and you’re shine dimmed. It was incredibly saddening for nearly everyone, but it’s not for long since you found someone to take your minds off things—who turns out to be your pen pal, or ironically, Jungkook.

And Hoseok has multiple times warned Jungkook that it’s not going to work. You would be furious to find out—who would adore the fact that someone is indeed lying?

“So… your partner will be coming?” Hoseok hesitatingly asks, looking down his lap. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. I know he’ll be coming.” You shift your gaze to Hoseok and beam. “He’ll give me a present and I’ll finally meet him.”

Hoseok nods, but something urges him to continue. “But… what if he won’t come?”

Your eyebrows scrunched. “What do you mean?”

He clears his throat. “Maybe? You know, he might have something to do tomorrow, urgently. Or maybe he is not that invested in this like you are? Because let’s be real here, Y/N, you are too deep into this.”

You send a thriving punch to his shoulder that Hoseok immediately winces and. “What is that for?!”

“For being such a source of negativity. Seriously, Hoseok, you used to be sooo positive. Stop hanging out too much with Yoongi.”

“I’m not kidding, Y/N.” Hoseok sternly gazes at you. “Don’t put your hopes too high. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

You smile at him, not even an ounce of doubt seen on your face. “Snowball won’t disappoint me, Hoseok. He’s not like Jungkook.”

At such ironic statements, Hoseok immediately turns speechless—something inside him literally withers. God, how he wishes he could cease you from hurting...

*

It’s already eight pm, and Jungkook is still settling inside his car in front of the building where the Christmas Event is held. His right hand is tapping lightly on the wheel, inside his left grasp is a midnight green colored box in which is the present he prepared for you.

The event will be starting soon, but he’s still waiting for a cue from Yoongi—the only person who knew about his arrival in Korea—when he should be entering. Attract attention is the last he would want, especially when too many people or the bosses are around, as he is obviously not invited now that he has resigned.

Yet needless to say, it is not the main issue concerning his mind. He couldn’t even care less if he is going to be kicked out of the event, as long as he can see you and be with you again. But how can he hope so? All kinds of scenarios are running through his mind about how you would react to him being Snowball, your anonymous pen pal in which you have told him about nearly everything. And it's foolish to even think that you would be fine about him catfishing you—hopefully it’s not the correct term for that.

At first, it was just a mere idea during work, Jimin was joking about how he would make you as his anonymous pen pal after he was informed of a small piece about your past with Jungkook. And Jungkook was not going to think about it more, but he was desperate. He wanted to talk to you again without any resentment—but it could probably be the least thing you want to do in this lifetime, so he begged Jimin to arrange it for him. Even if it was merely anonymous.

But now it could probably be the best yet the worst thing that he had done to you. You are the thing that keeps him sane after being locked again in his hometown, but he is now gambling with the relationship you both have. He is literally lying to you again—just like the worst fight happened in front of your house porch. God, everything is literally a mess.

Suddenly, the sound of an incoming call disrupts his trainwreck thoughts. Min Yoongi.

“Jungkook, the event will be conducted in half an hour, you need to submit your present. The bosses are gone. Come.” Yoongi calmly informs, conflicting to the thoughts on Jungkook’s mind. The fear and insecurity instantly strikes him.

“I don’t know whether I should do this, I mean—”

“Look at your chat.”

Yoongi has an authority tone on his voice that Jungkook immediately obeys, opening his chat. Yoongi has sent a picture of you, lively talking with your friends. You look exquisite, wearing a red ball gown dress that falls on your knee, the blush is apparent on your cheek. You simply look.. stunning.

“She has waited and prepared all this shit because she believed her idiot, fucking selfish so-called pen pal is here. Seriously, you’re not doing any good by pretending again. Just come, Jungkook.”

At once, it was like a knock to his heart at how selfish and undeserving he is to you. It’s okay if you’re angry, he’ll grovel at your feet. And if you don’t want to see him again? Well, he just needs to wait again. He waited for five years to see you again—what is another waiting, right?

Heaving a deep breath, Jungkook finally steps out of his car. He cannot lie that he is excessively frightened, the image of you crying and pushing him away is vivid and it stings. But he promised you he’ll be back before the year ends, and he’ll live up to that promise.

Walking out of the lift, the first person he sees is Jimin, sitting behind the front table from the ballroom. He is now receiving gifts from various people, which Jungkook assumes must be for the pen pal event. He walks closer, until Jimin can finally see him, and somehow, upon meeting your face, he literally falls a few steps back, face bleached like he just saw a ghost.

“J-jungkook?”

Jungkook smiles and rests the gift on the table. “Hi, Jimin. This is my gift for her.”

“B-b-but how—why? How can you’re here? I thought—I thought you’re moving and—”

“Yes. But I’m here now.” Jungkook thinly smiles. “May I know what I should do next?”

“Y-yes. So, the pair will be divided into two rooms, and when we cue, we will let you find each other, with the stuff and card inside the gift.” The panic is still evident on his face, but Jungkook just shrugs it away. Jimin can be overreacting at times.

“May I enter my room now?”

Jimin instantly nods as an answer, and points to the room on his right. “You can enter the room on the right. But Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares at Jimin, waiting for the continuation. “Good luck there. And I’m sorry.” He clears his throat, and points to the room. “You go now.”

Jungkook doesn’t even know if that’s really something for Jimin to be sorry about, but he literally couldn’t care less when he’s just minutes away from meeting you. “Thanks.”

Inside the room, there are a few people who are high chance waiting for the pen pal committee as well. The moment he enters, he can see a few confused eyes staring at him, but the moment he finds Namjoon, he can finally breathe. Namjoon is not too different though, staring at him with weirded out eyes.

“Jungkook, you’re here?” He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes. “Am I drinking too much champagne or are you really here?”

“I am.” He chuckles. “I came back to fulfill a promise, I guess.”

“Y/N? Because she’s your pen pal, right?” Jungkook nods slowly. “God, do you know there’s a very high chance that she’ll kick your ass for all this bamboozling shit?”

“Affirmatively.” Jungkook grins, yet his fingers are nervously fidgeting, a habit he inhibited since a month ago. “But, I just… I am trying, you know?”

Namjoon nods and taps on Jungkook’s back to relay comfort. “She loves you too. Even if she’s furious, she’ll come around.” Jungkook can only hope so.

At that time, the committees enter with a trolly of boxes that must be the pen pal gift. One of them hands Namjoon and Jungkook’s respective gifts. “You can start finding your pen pal now.”

Jungkook looks down on the blue box on his grasp, and he flinches with palms turning clammy from cold sweat, heartbeat too fast he could even hear it with his ear. Step by step, he enters the other room. Scanning the room, his sight instantly falls to you, smiling while looking down to the familiar box on your grasp. Your wavy hair settles perfectly on your shoulder, a serene smile formed on your lips.

‘I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy? I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt.’

Just when he is about to take another step closer to you, the remembrance of that night hits him straight in the gut. He is hurting you. Again. And you’ll leave. You’ll never want to see him again.

The weight on his shoulders triple at the petrifying scenario running through his mind, and Jungkook instinctively takes a step back and runs outside the room. No, he can’t do this. He is too scared. He thought he is ready to take every chance, but it turns out not much has changed, because he’s still the coward he was nearly five years ago.

Jungkook walks to the hotel balcony, heaving several deep breaths. The sky is exceptionally beautiful, the full moon is wandering in the sky and it invokes a memory within his mind.

About the night you cried in front of him for the first time.

“Are you afraid?” Jungkook whispered that night, gazing down at you. The loud blazing sound of bass was faintly heard, but both of you are sitting near the gate, looking out to the sky. You stare at him and shift back your empty gaze to the full moon. You despise that no matter how strenuous you tried to suppress the pain, it kept on rising back and numbs all your feelings.

“I am not afraid of you.” You weakly replied, the exhaustion vivid on your tone.

“I know.” Jungkook followed your gaze. “Are you afraid you’ll cry in front of me?”

You gazed at him, eyes filled with sadness and animosity. “What?”

“It’s literally a party inside. And you’ve been looking like you’re in a freaking funeral—well, beside the drinking part.” You were surprised with how susceptible he was. The day had indeed been counted as one of the worst days of your life, and it’s not even over yet. And you were fucking tired of crying, hence you decided to numb everything and wasted all your energy to alcohol instead. So at least you won’t remember again.

“Just cry.” He tranquilly whispers, his palm settles on the side of your face. “Those tears—I’ll catch them for you.”

And you just did.

Looking down to his lap, he is looking at the box on his grasp from you. Huffing a deep breath, he moves to open the box with not much thoughts—yet his mind abruptly turns blank after seeing the items resting in the box. 

What… are these?

“Are you afraid?”

Turning on his heel, Jungkook’s strained gaze fell on the eyes he thought would never see this up close again. It’s you. You are literally just a distance away in front of him right now, that he might need to pinch himself to ensure everything is not a piece of his hallucination. 

“What?” 

“Because you look like you’re about to cry.” You whisper calmly, arms folded on your chest. “Are you that afraid to meet me again?”

Jungkook is now staring at you, face conflicted. He is at haze on everything that just unfolded. “How did you—how did you know?”

“You think I won’t find out that you’re snowball?” You took a step closer, glancing at the items on the box. A basketball keychain and a frame of photo taken five years ago, the two of you side by side with a shy smile on both your faces. It was something he never thought would receive from his pen pal, even in his wildest dream.

“You think I won’t recognize you?”

Jungkook stutters. “What do you—”

“I know everything.” You cut him right away, face still expressionless. “I know it. You are snowball, I know you bribed Jimin into arranging, I know you are hiding by talking to me anonymously with snowball as an identity—everything. I know it’s you who I’m talking to these past seven weeks.”

A good five minutes passed before Jungkook could even let out a sound, let alone a coherent statement. 

“Are you… angry at me?”

“Yes.” You respond, not even missing a hint of hesitation in your tone. The physical pain is even more evident now. “I hate you. I hate you for fabricating lies about us. When I found out for the first time that it was you, I was furious. I felt played, like an idiot. I told you, I hate when someone lies to me. Do you remember?”

“I know.”

Another minutes spent staring each other, then you sigh in tiredness. “But more than anything, I missed you.” You continue, your tone falters as your eyes are far away, the sudden weakness stirs something inside his chest. “I miss you like crazy, and I took it. I took the lies, if it means I can talk to you again. Like an idiot, I didn’t think straight.”

Jungkook stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “I know I decided not to wait for you, but it was foolish. Waiting for you—that’s not an option I could make. And no matter how much I decided I need to stop thinking about you, I can’t. I am an idiot, who—”

At once, Jungkook is now hugging you close, not even a breath between the two of you. The feelings are familiar, yet so strange since the butterflies are knocking your stomach with nerves now. Jungkook is here. He is finally here, hugging you close. It’s literally the dream you’ve been having for a while now.

“I came back.”

You hum.

“For you. For the promise I made us.”

You hum.

“I am sorry. For everything. I shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have bribed Jimin.”

You hum.

Jungkook lets you go, anxious at the possibility of you lying and suppress all your feelings just for the sake of him. “Can you say something? Anything. Please be mad at me, or anything, because you have the rights to. But please don’t be silent, I beg you.”

“I love you.”

Those three words are most absolutely not the word he is expecting. He confusedly searches your eyes. “If you said I can say anything, I want to say that for the first time. I love you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you, still in disbelief of the possibility of his hearing deceiving him. “What?”

“I love you. And I want to fight for us.” You whisper, squeezing his palm against yours. “ I am sorry too. I let my emotion and fear take over, and I hurt you. I am in this just like you are, so don’t blame yourself alone, hmm?”

“I love you too.” Jungkook responds, as he pulls you close by the nape, crashing his lips on yours and taking your breath away. “I love you more than anything. I love you more than anyone. I am sorry, I am very sorry.”

You hold him closer by the waist, minutes passed just to feel how warm he is against you, the familiar scent seeps inside your brain that disoriented your whole being. As he lightly bites your lower lips and instinctively forces a moan out of you,  you shivers. Jungkook swiftly takes the chance to push through and leaves a beautiful taste on your tongue. Your fingers run through his hair, feeling the soft hair falls between your fingers. Giving it a light tug, you are more than satisfied to find Jungkook is just as affected as you by the way he bemoans.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jungkook creakily whispers, not even hiding the lust and desire lacing his tone and not even a second thought is spent, you nod. You are desperate to have him again like the way it was before, to leave nothing between the two of you, to feel him close and beg for him to take you again, pleasuring you like no one could. 

“By the way, you look beautiful tonight.” He smiles, squeezing your waist with his palm. “You always do, but maybe the fact that I haven’t seen you for seven weeks, now that you are wearing this beautiful dress—It’s just.. breathtaking.”

You roll your eyes, but are unable to suppress the beam on your lips. “You better keep that mindset, okay? Don’t you fucking dare say I look better naked later.”

Jungkook grins at that. “You know what? You just get me.”

“You know, I need to tell you this, but… I actually threatened Jimin to confirm that you are indeed snowball. And I have to say that it wasn’t pretty, and I wasn’t proud of it. We haven’t really been talking with each other after that..”

“What?!” Jungkook literally shouts, the imagination of you threatening Jimin with a knife forms on his head. No wonder he looks like a ghost after seeing him attend the event. “What did you do to the poor guy?!”

“Well, I may or may not… have caught him getting a blowjob from his teammate in the office one time.. And yup, you know the rest.” You wince, and hold out your palm together. “I swear, I have no intention to let anyone know, it was just a self defense method—”

“You just told me, you know.”

You pout, tugging on his blazer. “But you’re my Jungkook! It’s different.”

Jungkook sighs, but it’s foolish to lie that the possession terms you used before his name literally sends him into a blushing mess. He is unable to resist to steal a kiss from you once again. The moment your lips touching, you are left speechless—and wanting more that you still chase for his lips even after he pulls himself. You frown, folding your arms in indignation that you caught him grinning after. “Looks like someone is missing me too much, huh?”

“I hate you.” You obnoxiously spit.

“No, you love me.” 

“Yes, but I’m starting to regret it now.” 

Jungkook giggles, caressing the side of your pouty face. God, how is it possible to be luring and cute at the same time? Being with you is all kinds of emotions lured into one, and it left him wanting for more and more.

“I feel like I didn’t say this enough, but I love you, Y/N. I really, really do.” Jungkook whispers, as his finger pushes strands of hair to behind your ear, and you give him a smile which brightens his whole world. The moment he looks at you like this, he know he is sold. You’re his only sole chance, nothing and no one else.

“We’ll fight for each other, right?” Jungkook whispers and you stare at him back with a smile, and unlike before, this time you reply with a determined nod. One thing you know is that you’ll do anything to make the best out of each other—you’ll finally fight for what you feel instead of following your fear. Because you love Jungkook, and he feels the same way.

Oh, how he would trade everything to have this moment last forever...

===========================

I should have write this better lol was too distracted with life and kim soo hyun that its 🅱razy. I wish I have will to edit this too, tho

If you wonder if there’s an epilogue, there is! kindly follow me and slide into my ask box! stay safe, all!  💜💌

UPDATE : Find the Epilogue HERE !

#bts #bts jungkook #bts smut #jungkook smut #bts taehyung #jungkook au #jungkook friends to lover #bts enemies to lovers #jungkook fluff #bts ex #bts angst #bts dom #bts ot7 #bts jungkook smut #bts au #jungkook taehyung #bts ex to lover #bts namjoon #bts love #taehyung mutual pining

[crystalas]

Affliction

Affliction

A Lego Monkie Kid one shot [yes, I can do those] wherein while travelling with the Monkie Crew during their season 3 journey Red Son’s affliction flairs up and he has to deal with it…with a little help from Tang.

Warning mentions of mental, emotional abuse and anxiety attacks

 It had been two weeks since Red Son had joined the Monkey King’s group which made him question his sanity and theirs sometimes but, it was not as unbearable as he first thought it to be. True the Dragon Horse girl will not shut up about him being an ‘official good guy’ despite him telling her numerous times that helping them will help him get revenge on the spirit that brought about his family’s downfall.

Noodle boy was quiet which unnerved him no end but then again after nearly getting defeated by Lady Bone Demon he couldn’t blame him. As someone who had been on the receiving end of her mental tormenting tactics and making his own father try to kill him, he understood all too well you’d need some time to yourself to recover.

The pigman and the scholar had made themselves the cook and quarter master of this ship and the big blue man [which he found out was called Sandy] kept the ship on course and in shape, surprisingly he was welcomed Red Son’s input on the ship’s maintenance and ideas for improvement.

Monkey King he didn’t know how he was doing because for reasons he couldn’t explain he just couldn’t bring himself to go near him.

And then it happened, a flock of demon birds attacked the air ship and during their battle to get said feathered monsters off their flying base one of the engines blew; causing the ship to tilt horribly and nearly fling all those fighting on deck into the mountains below and the begin began to plummet. It had been a tense fight between the attacking demons, time and gravity as they fought all three simultaneously before Sandy could get the failing engine working again and once, they got themselves more stable easily fought off the creatures.

Now the battle done and everyone working on getting the ship back in order, Red Son stood there before looking at the damaged engine. He should have checked the engines that morning or upgraded them by now, he should have known about the demon flock that roamed here, or at least checked whose territory these mountains were in. There were so many things he should have done to prevent all this and its only a matter of time before the rest of crew realised that too…

Red Son’s felt an all too familiar tightness in his chest and retreated to below decks, of all the times for his affliction to flare up why now? He had too many things to do and he couldn’t show weakness in front of these people! The tightness got worse and he soon realised he wasn’t going to make it back to the sleeping quarters so he made do with the broom closet, he snuck in closed the door and sank to the floor as he struggled to breathe. His thoughts began to whirl around in his head like static on a radio making him feel dizzy and he brought his knees up to his chest in the hopes of stopping his heart from leaving his chest as it started to beat so fast.

He was used to this; he knew what to do when this happened all he had to do was ride it out and wait for it to be over. If he was lucky, it’ll be over in a few minutes or if he was unlucky an hour; he just didn’t want to be caught like this! It was bad enough he was to blame for what happened what if they find him sitting in the broom closet of all thing and worse what if they notice his condition? They’ll surely kick him out for fears of infecting the others!

As these thoughts continued to whirl around his head and he wheezed in what little oxygen he could he felt someone take his hands.

“Hey its okay…its okay, try and take a deep breath for me Red can you do that?” said a voice it sounded familiar the scholar perhaps? “Focus on my voice and try to breathe in…”

Red Son tried to hone in on the voice and managed to take a deep breath.

“And breathe out slowly…”

He somehow managed to do that.

“Good, you’re doing great! And again, breathe in…and out…in…and out…” the voice soothed and coaxed Red Son back into the room, now that he could think more clearly, he saw the scholar [Tang that was what the other called him] kneeling in front of him holding his hands.

“You feeling better?” he asked. Red Son jerked his hands away and scuttled as far as he could away from the man.

“You should wash your hands…in case you get it” he mumbled.

“Get what?”

“My affliction of course” Red Son admitted shamefully.

“Red Son is this some sort of demon thing? Because from where I’m standing you were having an anxiety attack and last time I checked those weren’t contagious.” Tang said sitting down and getting himself more comfortable on the floor.

“Anxiety attack?” Red Son asked “Is that what it is?”

“Unless you demons get something else but from what I read you guys don’t get sick much…” Tang said before looking thoughtful “Though I do need to do more research into that now that you’re here just to be safe.”

“It must a curse then!” Red Son declared “Mother would have cured me had it been something small as a sickness…perhaps mother was worried of it spreading…”

“Was she the one who told you that? That others could catch it?”

“No…I just assumed because mother would… umm…tell me…to…” Red Son mumbled.

It had to be contagious why else would mother tell him to go away whenever it happened? What other reason than to protect herself and others from getting it?

“Useless child! if you’re going to be like that then go to your room!”

“You’re being an embarrassment for the both of us! Just leave me alone till you can be reasonable!”

“Red Son I thought I told you to keep this to yourself? Can’t you see Father and I are busy?”

“Red Son how long have you had this ‘affliction’?” Tang asked gently, Red Son gripped his arms to try and keep himself focussed and in the room. Tang was a scholar and had already shown an impressive amount of knowledge for a human, given he had helped him with this attack maybe he can cure him!

“I think maybe…two hundred years ago? Give or take a decade?” he suggested and Tang stared at him his glasses slipping off his nose slightly as his mouth gaped slightly before he recollected himself and pushed his glasses back into place.

“Sorry…” he apologised “I keep forgetting you’re an ancient demon.”

“I’m still considered young by my kind.” He exclaimed and heard Tang muttered ‘ow my hip’ under his breath.

“Let’s get back on track!” Tang declared “these ‘attacks’ do they happen often?”

“Depends…for a while they happened maybe every two weeks or so maybe a month…but after father came back it started to happen more often…” Red Son explained, the thought of failing his father time and time again despite his best efforts. He had wanted so bad to make up for the blighted mistake that hurt his family so much all those centuries ago, he wanted to make his father proud!

“You? Why should I trust you? You have brought me nothing but failure! Time and time again nothing but disappointment!”

The memory of his father laughing at him and then to declare him a traitor, he knew it was that spirit’s fault but it was still his father’s voice taunting him, it was still his father’s face he would see in his memory looming over him and rushing forward to…

“Red Son?” Tang said loudly bringing Red Son out of his thoughts. “Let’s try something else, what was going through your mind when this attack started?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I’m just trying to figure this out with you, were you scared of the bird demons?”

“NO!” Red Son shouted his hair flaring up in anger “How dare you even suggest that I, Red Son were scared of such minor creatures!”

“So, what was it that upset you?”

“Upset me?”

“Red Son if this is anxiety then your attack must have been triggered by something, if it wasn’t the fight what was it?” Tang inquired, it unsettled Red Son on how quiet and calm he was being about this. “It couldn’t be the fight itself because you seemed fine during that, well as fine as any of us could have been while fighting bird demons on a sinking flaming ship! But this attack began afterwards, didn’t it? so what happened between the fight ending and this starting?”

He should keep his mouth shut a part of Red Son’s mind told him, he shouldn’t expose his flaws to this human. Besides nobody needed to know about this, he was just going to be a bother to everyone…

“Keep your snivelling to yourself! Can’t you see mummy has enough on her plate because of you?”

“Quit your whining and get back to work! Honestly I don’t need this right now!”

“I…I…was thinking of all the things I should have done to prevent that from happening” Red Son finally manged to say.

“Should have done?” Tang repeated “Red Son…do you think what happened was your fault?”

Red Son froze up at those words, he could already feel his chest tighten. They knew! Of course, they knew it was his fault it had to be who else could be to blame? He was more acquainted with the area he should have known about the demon flock; he should have checked the engine so it made sense that he was to blame. It was always his fault when something went wrong Mother said so…

“It’s your fault my husband was sealed away!”

“I was left alone for decades because of you!”

“We lost the staff because your foolish weakness you pathetic little whelp!”

His fault, it was all his fault, it was always his fault!

“Do the spell!” he whispered as his heart began to pound harder.

“What?”

“Whatever you did last time, do it again!” he whimpered clutching his chest “…Please…”

Tang took his hand and Red Son hoped to feel better when Tang did whatever had done last time but nothing changed he still felt like the room was crashing in on him. The thoughts of what Monkey King will do when he finds him, how on earth he was going to explain what went wrong, what punishment awaited him and how he was going to have to make it up to them spun and clashed in his head.

“Red Son listen to me; did you know the engine was going to fail?”

“What? N…no I didn’t but I…”

“Had someone told you to check on it? Was it your job today to do so?”

“No…I mean I usually do but it looked fine yesterday…”

“Then it wasn’t your fault”

“W…what?”

“Red Son none of what happened today was your fault, how could it be? You said so yourself you checked it yesterday and it was fine, you had no way of knowing those bird demons were nearby. None of this was your fault.” Tang stated clearly holding Red’s hand tightly now.

“But…I…I mean I should have…”

“Red listen to me, we’re not going to blame you for something none of us had any control over. We fixed the problem we won the battle that’s all that matters. It wasn’t your fault.” Tang exclaimed “But you still think it is, don’t you?”

Red Son looked at him and nodded. Why did he feel such relief at being told something that should be obvious to him? Tang should be at least scolding him for acting so foolishly but he just…sits there…listening to him. It felt nice to have someone hear him out for once.

“Can you cure me of this?” he asked.

“No Red Son, this isn’t something I can just make a potion for and fix right away, but I am willing to help you through this. You don’t need to ride these ‘afflictions’ out alone, next time you feel one coming on just let me know, okay?” Tang explained and stood up helping Red Son to his feet. “Are you feeling a bit better now?”

“Yes…” he said softly.

“Good we better get back up top before everyone thinks we fell overboard!” Tang beamed and opened the broom closet door; Red Son grabbed his hand before he could leave.

“Um…thank you…” Red Son said “but please don’t let anyone else know about this…”

“I won’t say a word until you’re ready!” Tang swore and they made their way back to the others, Red Son made a bee line for Sandy who was looking over the damage engine. Sandy just waved and smiled before going into detail about what he thought went wrong handing Red Son the tool box as they discussed how to fix and improve it. Tang smiled and went over to Pigsy who was in the kitchen putting away all the items that had gone flying when the ship had tilted.

“There you are!” Pigsy growled “I could’ve used a hand you know where have you been?”

“You know how we agreed when this was all over we were going to get MK to see a therapist?” Tang said as he started to pick the jars of herbs off the floor.

“Yeah?” Pigsy agreed wondering why this had come out of left field so suddenly.

“Think we could get Red Son to see one too?”

#anxiety #monkie kid #redson #tang being a good father figure

[mvnvgedmischief]

unremarkable days.

summary: sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

chapter:  4/?

characters: sirius black, regulus black, wolfstar, background marauders

tags: tw: canon compliant abuse, child abuse, social services, abuse

words: 3. 8 k

read it on ao3 here

read the last chapter here

Sirius knew that work was going to be high stress all day. He felt sick to his stomach, thinking about the way he would continuously have to talk to people, when all he wanted was some peace. He wanted downtime. Time when he didn’t have to think about how he needed his paycheck to put food on the table, clothes on his brother’s back, pay bills to keep his lights on, wifi for homework. Regulus occupied his thoughts at all times, protecting him was Sirius’s only priority these days. He didn’t have time for anything else. Not his friends, not his interests, not music. Nothing could come between his focus and his brother’s wellbeing, because if it did, Sirius would never forgive himself. The consequences were too dire. So instead, he just wished for downtime that wouldn’t come, and prayed for the weekend to approach even faster. 

The weekend, when he could finally sleep again, albeit not well. The weekend, when he had the time to take a breath, even if it was only brief. Because his weekends were also spent finding ways to better equip his apartment for his younger brother, going to long grocery runs so Regulus had lunch to take to school, meal prepping all of the things he couldn’t bring himself to eat for dinner. He was definitely tired of all of the ways his mind was spiraling out, he didn’t have the time. He didn’t fault Regulus for it, it wasn’t the teen's presence in his life that was causing all this stress. It really was his own fault. A bit of crying at that first hearing had given Walburga and Orion the satisfaction of a victory over him at that first hearing, and they seemed to crave more of that chaos. They wanted to watch their children suffer, and this was how they chose to do that. So instead he spiraled in the privacy of his own home, because he could practically hear the words they burned into his mind whenever he saw them, and feel the ache of old beatings. 

But it was only Thursday, and that meant he still had to do this all day, and  then get berated by the rest of the team for not attending their weekly bonding happy hour. If he was lucky,  no  one would ask him to go. He knew he should be less terrified of them asking, most of the people on his team were his friends. There was simply the question of Remus, and Sirius didn’t have the time to be thinking about him in the first place. 

He didn’t have time to think about  the way his hair curled just the right way to fall into his eyes when he slept, or the way his caramel freckles made him look sunkist. He didn’t have time to think about the  pink scars that ran down Remus’s face or how they got there. He definitely didn;’t have time to think of the comfort  of his hand combing through Sirius’s own mop of unruly curls. So instead, he needs to  put  all of that out  of his mind. It wasn’t going to help him do well at work. It wasn’t going to solve his problems. He didn’t have the  time for this, nor did he have the emotional bandwidth. Perhaps that was why Sirius was conveniently avoiding the idea that he had asked Remus on a date. With some luck, Remus would think he was just an asshole who ghosted him. That was definitely complicated by the fact that they worked together, that he couldn’t just disappear. He wanted to, he really did, because there was simply no time. 

He set up his deliverables as though he had made tons of them, because his employment in this company  rode on it. Just two months ago, he was pegged to be promoted within the next two cycles, and now he could barely hold on to his sanity enough to handle his workload. He was so fucking tired, and he had so much on his plate. He needed to mentally prepare himself for the long day of meetings ahead of him. He had no true motivation to do his job right now, all he knew was that his exhaustion was no excuse. He knew that his boss, Alice, was giving him a whole lot of leeway right now. She was probably doing more than she should to help him. Being a mentor on the senior design team didn’t mean she needed to keep tabs on his personal life and pick up his slack. 

“Sirius–” 

When Sirius focused back into the meeting he was calling into, it occurred to him that they’re talking to him. So he did what he always did, blamed it on a shoddy connection. 

“Oh, sorry, can you repeat that? My audio cut out.” 

“Remus was saying that some of  the poems could probably use illustrations, and he was wondering if you had any ideas on which ones needed it.” 

“Thanks, Peter.” Sirius was glad that he knew the people on this team, that Peter and James were as close to him as anyone could be. Because otherwise, he’d probably be fucked. 

“So I was looking through them, and I was thinking Bite, Magick, and Love I could probably use larger scale illustrations. But at the same time, we don’t want to crowd the book. How attached are you to the current order or page arrangement?” 

It felt too close, but he was lucky that he had at least read the titles of some of the poems in the first half of the book. Sirius knew Remus didn’t actually know what his level of involvement was. He thought it was just doodles, but Sirius would be responsible for presenting everything from kearning and font choice within the pages, to illustration and cover art to the design team. He was integral to the success of this book as a product, and he  needed to start acting like it. 

“I’m pretty attached.” Remus sounded cold to Sirius, and he wondered what exactly he had done wrong in this meeting. And yet, he didn’t have time to think on it. He needed to keep things moving, keep getting valuable information out of the author. Hook up be damned, Sirius needed this book to actually get off the ground. 

 “Okay, well we should get a meeting on the calender to discuss. What poems and what scale of illustrations you want–” 

“Shouldn’t you be deciding what the illustrations look like and the logistics of those. Isn’t that what you  get paid for?” Remus really wasn’t making this easy on Sirius. But he had dealt with bigger demons and divas then whatever this attitude was. So he put on a light and airy smile, one they’d never know didn’t reach his eyes over the low quality webcam and nodded. 

“If you’d like to take a hands off approach with the design work, that can absolutely be arranged. But in the case of a fledgling project with a new author, the design team, myself included, really hope to prioritize your artistic license so that we can get a better sense of your vision for your literature, should Quill move forward with other publications in the future.  We can provide a completely in-house service, with as much input as you feel necessary during the design process, and deliver collateral towards the end of the project when final edits are done, if you would prefer, Mister Lupin.” 

Sirius practically wanted to scream. He needed Remus to stop fucking with his job, with his livelihood. He couldn’t lose this project. He needed all of the billable hours he could get if he was going to justify the overtime he needed in order to provide for his brother. This was ridiculous. But his clinical and polite answer must have thrown Remus, because he didn’t get much more attitude out of him. The back and forth had ended. So instead, Sirius pulled up his deliverables for the week, which included new iterations for the covers, and twelve illustrations for the three poems he had mentioned. 

He noticed the way Remus looked at his drawings, like he was pained by whatever his thoughts were, and Sirius wants to scream that he’s under no obligation to think that they’re good. But then he remembers that Remus seemed to be nitpicking on purpose, based on his critique of the design system itself. Sirius didn’t have the time to deal with that level of petty, just because he hadn’t been answering. He was too busy. He had too much on his plate. So instead he continues his presentation. 

“I don’t like any of these. Maybe you should start over.” Remus sounded vindictive, even mean. Like he was doing this out of spite.  Sirius could feel his heart drop in that moment. He didn’t want to start over. He didn’t have the time. 

“What do you not like about them?” Sirius is trying to salvage his work while he can. 

“The vibe is off.”

“Oh, is there something specific that throws it off or...” Sirius trailed off, wondering what exactly he needed to change. 

“No, it’s the whole thing. All of them are just off.” 

Sirius needed to think quick on his feet. He didn’t have the time to start from scratch, so he pulled up his original thumbnails that he had discussed with Remus. 

“These are the original sketches we discussed. I moved forward with the ones we talked about. I’m happy to rework those sketches,” no, he wasn’t. “But if there’s another sketch that you think would fit your vision better, please let me know.” He felt like he was pleading with Remus not to hate his artwork. He’d be a liar if he said it wasn’t a blow to his self esteem to hear that everything that he did was bad. 

“No, I would suggest you start over.” 

Sirius nodded, his mind immediately whirring with ways he could start over and re-design this project. He really didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to do hundreds of thumbnails to get set on thirty, only to be destroyed in a meeting again. Especially when Remus seemed so excited about all of his illustrations before the meetings. It felt like too much. He didn’t have the energy for this kind of behavior. 

Luckily, Marlene directed the conversation away from Sirius’s work. The rest of the call went on without a hitch, like the only person who’s work Remus had a problem with was Sirius’s. He knew that it was more likely for Remus to have a problem with him, because design work was usually something an artist thought of as easy; however, this felt calculated and cold. If Sirius had been avoiding Remus before, it definitely wasn’t about to get better. So instead, he listened to the end of the meeting, and started the project all over again. He could do this. It was an unremarkable critique. It didn’t matter.

#sorry this ones so short #Marauders #marauders era #marauders fic #marauders era fic #marauders drabble #regulus black #regulus black fic #regulus and sirius black #black family #sirius x remus #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #wolfstar angst #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #remus x sirius #Harry Potter #harry potter fandom #modern au #modern marauders #my shit #unremarkable days

[melancholymaz]

Enceinte (3)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader 

Summary: Now at 16 weeks in your pregnancy, The avengers have been taking the Uncle and Aunty role with pride, With your nursery being built and painted. But it’s game night and what better way to do that than have the avengers have a sleepover? 

Warnings: Sad!Nat turns into Soft!Nat and couldn’t help but end it in domestic!Avengers. Swearing and Bucky and Steve cheating at Uno. Also talks of parents disowning their child.

Y/S/P = Your sexual preference 

A/N: Here’s part 3! I am so deeply sorry it’s taken this long! Enjoy!

Deciding to live in the compound while pregnant has been both a blessing and a curse. Unfortunately with your parents having disowned you when you came out as Y/S/P, you didn’t have very many people to tell, besides a few friends and cousins, To which they were ecstatic. 

The positives are that Nat doesn’t miss a thing as her and the team have decided to only go on missions unless necessary. So now they can be there for milestones or help if you ever need it. Even Carol has decided to stay until her niece or nephew is born. You and Natasha have both been reading pregnancy and baby books and even Tony had the two of you sleep in a spare room temporarily as him and the team combine your room with the vacant one next door for the baby’s nursery which is now ready to decorate. In about 3 weeks you’ll be having your gender reveal, as you and Nat had agreed you were far too excited to wait to see if your baby was a boy or a girl. Despite it being your first pregnancy, Your 16 week baby bump was very much noticeable, and now  you didn’t look like you ate too much the night before, like you did when your bump was first starting to grow.

You’ve been keeping as active as you could, doing mild workouts during the day to keep as fit as you can. You’ve noticed your skin has become a bit more clearer, as the ‘pregnancy glow’ makes it’s mark.  Sometimes you’ll have random blood noses, which is normal as Dr Cho had to convince Nat a hundred times, but it didn’t make them any less annoying. Warm baths and back massages had become your best friend as your bump starts to grow, If your back pain is bad now you dread the pain that is to come. You’ll even become dizzy at random points during the day, and it’s handy having the avengers around to easily catch you if you start to sway. 

You’ve started wearing maternity clothes, to which Nat loves. Your choice in bras have become different thanks to your ever growing breasts, and she loves finding new ways to take them off as fast as she can. The only thing she loves to pout about is the fact you’ve started sleeping on your left side, as now it’s rare she gets to see your face as you both lay in bed together. That doesn’t stop her from rubbing and talking to the baby every night though. 

Finishing up in the gym for the day, you wipe your forehead to rid the sweat and take a swig from your drink bottle, taking a breather before you say goodbye to Steve and Bucky who are both training together. Making your way to Your’s and Nat’s bedroom, you pass Wanda and Carol in the hallway, who asks you how you were feeling and if you needed anything, much to your gratitude.

As you enter your room you immediately notice somethings wrong. You hear a sniffle before a soft cry, and you notice it’s coming from the nursery. A frown settles on your face as you walk in and you can’t help the feeling of your heartbreaking a little. There Nat sit’s in the middle of the empty room crying, staring up at the half finished Winnie the pooh themed wall mural Steve has started, making sure to leave a spot blank to paint the baby’s name when you and Nat have decided on one. 

“Babe? What’s the matter?” You ask, slowly coming up behind her, placing your hands on her shoulders, softly peering at her face. Her puffy eyes look up at you and she gives you a small sad smile. “I thought I was the one that was supposed to be emotional.” 

“I’m sorry, I just came in here to see the mural but then I couldn’t help but think how surreal all of this is. I mean I never would have thought 2 years ago that you’d be my girlfriend much less pregnant with our first child. I mean all my life I thought I’d never have kids much less a partner. I used to have nothing, and now I’ve got this job... and this, family that couldn’t love us any more.” 

“It does seem a bit crazy doesn’t it.” You say softly, lightly massaging her shoulders as she lets a few more tears fall. You know the best thing right now is to just comfort her and let her have her moment. 

“I am so incredibly lucky to have the team, and you, and especially our baby. Everything I’ve ever wanted right here and I don’t know how or why I deserve it.” 

“To be quite honest with you my love I think we’re the lucky ones. To have someone so loving and forgiving like you is definitely rare. Beans going to have the most protective and playful mama, and I think I can speak for the team when I say there’s no one that could ever replace you. You deserve all of this, The team, the family and most importantly me and our baby.” You tell her honestly, placing her hand on your bump. 

“You think so?” She asks with so much uncertainness. 

“I know so.” You smile, to which she returns. 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Nat replies, the soft smile on her face as she looks up at you. 

“Yeah, multiple times.” You smile. “Now come on, we’re gonna go have a shower and go see the team, It’s game night.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” 

-

“This game is bullshit!” Sam screams, slamming his uno cards on the table before standing up and kicking his chair. “He’s cheating!! There is no way he can win game 5 times in a row!! He just picked up 4 cards!” 

“Stop being a sore loser.” A smug Bucky says, taking joy in his friends rage. 

“Stand up and clean out your pockets.” You demand, also annoyed at your friend. Bucky does as you say with a smug smile on his face, pulling his pockets from his shorts and jumper, proving he didn’t cheat. When he sit’s down however, you catch something in the corner of your eye and you shake your head with scoff when Steve subtly high fives Bucky under the table. Nat must have seen it to, because she too shakes her head and speaks up. 

“Steven, my lovely captain.” Natasha says albeit too sweetly. 

“Yes Nat?” He replies, probably too quickly to come off as nonchalant.

“Would you like to stand up and empty your pockets too?” I finish instead, smiling at the blonde who looks at Bucky then stands and does the same, which ends in him pulling out roughly 10 cards from his sweatpants pocket. 

“Are those Bucky’s Cards?” Wanda asks, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

“...no?” Steve replies. “They’re mine?” 

“Steve is that or is it not Bucky’s cards?” Carol asks this time, her face stern, which you know is making Steve slightly panic. You see Bucky staring at Steve, almost daring him to lag on him. 

“Okay fine. Buck and I made a deal that I would help him win because he always loses and he’s sick of Sam and Y/N always winning.” Steve confesses ashamedly, Bucky’s eyes widening in betrayal. 

“I KNEW IT!!” Sam yells. Nat just stares dumbfounded, meanwhile Tony, Rhodey and Bruce just watch things unfold shaking their head in disappointment, Wanda and Carol stand up and start packing up the Uno cards as they both know no one will want to play after this. You, however, stare at Bucky with betrayal and hurt. 

“You always say you want me to win! This is discrimination against pregnant women.” You joke, to which Nat laughs behind you. 

“I think he wanted you to win so the baby will be named after him.” Rhodey inputs. 

“Definitely won’t be now.” You say to which Bucky frowns. “Sorry pal lost your chance.” 

“What-” 

“Yeah because we all know the baby’s gonna be named after me.” Tony interrupts Bucky, pouring himself a drink at the bar. 

“Jokes on all of you, we’re not naming the baby after any of you.” Nat replies, smiling matter-of-factly after nearly everyone looks at her offended.  “You all suck.” 

“Besides me.” Carol says, sticking her hand up. 

“No definitely you.” Is Rhodey’s reply, causing Carol to throw the uno cards at him. Everyone begins to move into the common room, deciding to chill before someone picks a movie. 

“Speaking of the baby, what’s the update?” Steve walks in, handing Wanda the chip bowl, who thanks him quietly. 

“Well, Bean should be starting to hear sounds now hopefully, muscles are getting stronger and should be having coordinated arm and leg movement.” You explain, the team listening attentively. 

“And Bean is now the size of an apple!” Natasha quickly adds. 

“Seriously can’t wait to be an uncle.” Tony says, scratching his greying goatee. “How are you wanting to do the gender reveal?” 

“Well so far it’s just gonna be all of us, Pete, Clint and his family, Fury, Sharon and Maria. Thor too if he’s back in time from Asgard. We’ll get Dr. Cho to put the respective colour in a big balloon and we’ll have like mini games and just have a fun time with all of us.” Nat explains. The team nods, and you can see Tony’s gears in his head rolling, probably just promoted himself the event planner. 

“There is to be no one invited without our permission.” You direct to Tony, who just nods. 

Just an hour later you and the team have all set up mattresses and blankets all over the common room, deciding to have a sleepover all together. Bruce and Rhodey as an exception as they believe they’re “too old” to have sleepovers. You and Nat set up on the end of all the mattresses, in case need to go toilet during the night. You’re surprised everyone agreed to do it, considering they’re the earths mightiest heroes. 

-

As the end credits of the fourth movie rolls around, you look around to see everyone but you and Nat have fallen asleep. You move back down and start to wiggle around to find a comfortable spot, but end up failing miserably. 

“You okay babe?” Nat asks, lightly rubbing your back after you groan for the third time. 

“Just can’t seem to get comfortable.” You mumble back, trying to fall asleep. 

“Would you like me to go get your new pregnancy pillow?” She asks laying her head on your shoulder, to which you nod softly. Nat gives you a kiss on the cheek before she stands and steps over you to go get your pillow from your shared room. When she comes back a few minutes later, she helps you position yourself and when you finally find a comfortable spot, you can’t help but sigh in relief. 

“Thank you my love.” You mumble, already drifting off. 

“Go to sleep Malysh, I’ll try to not keep you awake while I say goodnight to Bean.” Nat whispers, already moving down to talk to your bump. You hum in goodnight before you drift off into a deep slumber. 

Malysh = Baby

#natasha romanoff x reader #imagine natasha romanoff #black widow #natasharomanoff #natasha x reader #Natasharomanoff x fem!reader #avengers x pregnant!reader #avengers fluff #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n

[firefly464]

The Gilded Cage - Chapter 9

hehe i’m very excited :) also thank you pami for doing write time with me that was super poggers and awesome you’re so cool 

Written in collaboration with @pamiiap​​ :D Thank you @tea-with-veth​ for beta reading, and editing :D

Master Post

First -  Previous - Next

~~~

Three days. That’s how long Eret stayed with the computer. Three days of nothing but staring at the same screen, desperately trying to test out different commands to see what would work. Three days of sitting in a dark, cold room, with nothing to keep him warm. 

Over the past three days, Eret had barely slept. 

He’d lingered there for hours, the clicking of the keyboard and flashing of the screen filling his senses. All he could think about was this could be his way home. A way to end this and leave it all behind. Maybe he could wake up and it would all be a dream. 

A dream.

Dream.

Dream was his friend. Dream was…

Dream was.

After hours of clawing at the keys for an escape, he hesitated for a moment. He curled his hands into fists and relaxed them, trying to release the tension he had. 

Instead of typing commands, he typed:

Why?

If anyone is reading, send me something

A sign, preferably

Tell me I’m not alone

Give me something

Anything

The shaking in his hands slowed, the edges of his vision melted away. He watched as his world faded into darkness.

~~~

“Hey, chat!” He says, on impulse. “How’s it been? Feels like forever.”

“Sorry for the long hiatus, life’s been throwing curveballs at me.” He continues.

Don’t worry!

You’re fine!

Its okay :D

“I hope you guys have been alright. Don’t know what we’ll be doing with this stream so I’m going to start a little poll in the chat here…”

Time melts away as he talks to his stream, he knows that. That’s how streams usually go. It happens in a blur, the eyes of thousands of people aren’t on him anymore. The stream has ended.

He falls into nothingness.

~~~

Journal Entry #1

I found the Console, still can’t get back home yet though. I’m still unsure on how it works, but I know, I know, that I can get home. It’s kind of like a command block, you can input code but it needs some sort of activation key to trigger it. Haven’t found that yet.

I’ll update this as I find more information.

Journal Entry #2

Text commands seem to work, more extreme commands need the trigger. I really should make some sort of command list, that might help. 

Journal Entry #3

I’ve made a list on a separate paper. I’m running out of space.

Journal Entry #6

What could the trigger be? I need to find it.

Journal Entry #8

I haven’t slept in three days. I need to head back.

Journal Entry #9

Nothing new as of the moment. I’m going to start working on a trigger to activate this thing.

Journal Entry #10

I wonder if I could undo whatever Dream did to everyone’s memories? I wonder if I could make it so that they didn’t hate me anymore. 

Journal Entry #13

I can’t sleep. 

Journal Entry #15

Going home back again. Bad’ll still have muffins, I hope. (If George didn’t eat them already)

Journal Entry #16

George ate my muffins. Prick >:(

Journal Entry #17

Packing for another trip to the Console today. Bad made extra muffins to compensate for the atrocity that happened yesterday. (Sidenote: George had his muffin privileges removed for a day)

Journal Entry #20

Bad’s worried. I wouldn’t blame him. I don’t think I can blame myself either. I have to get home.

Journal Entry #24

I’m here. Glad no-one’s tampered with my list. I’ve been gathering some redstone supplies to try and make a prototype trigger.

Journal Entry #27

I’ve tried several combinations of levers and buttons and redstone but nothing seems to activate it. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Journal Entry #28

Nothing’s working.

Journal Entry #30

Can’t sleep again.

Journal Entry #32

I don’t think I’ve eaten. 

Journal Entry #33

I have to go ho back. I need to be more careful, George and Bad are getting worried. I don’t want them to be worried about me. They don’t even know me.

Journal Entry #34

Do I even know them?

Journal Entry #37

I won’t go to the Console for a couple of days. That might calm them down.

The weather’s getting warmer actually. I think spring might be almost here. Not sure if seasons might not work the same.

Journal Entry #38

George says it’s already mid-spring. I didn’t realize I’d been here for so long

Journal Entry #???

I want to go home. 

~~~

Eret closed the small book with a sigh. Ever since he had found the console several months ago, he had tried to do his best to keep a record of what he found. 

However, the journal had quickly turned into a place for him to pour his emotions, rather than document his findings. All of his actual records were with the console itself, where he could better keep track of them. 

He placed the small book in his bag, before swinging it over his shoulders. He needed to go back. Even if everything about the small, dark room made him want to scream, it was his only hope. His only way of potentially returning home. 

Gently, he pushed back the small curtain that separated his room from the rest of the community house. Even after several months of staying here, he still hadn’t bothered to make an actual room. After all, it wasn’t like he had a ton of free time. 

Almost all of his time was spent either at the console, or digging out tunnels underneath L’manberg. God, he hated those tunnels. 

As he gently stepped out into the main room, he quickly glanced around, checking to see if the coast was clear. 

It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Bad or George, in fact it was quite the opposite. He just… He hated making them worry. He knew how much his frequent visits bothered both of them, and so lately he had begun trying to quietly slip away. 

He was almost at the front door of the community house, when a voice called out to him. 

“Eret?”

He froze. 

Shit. 

Maybe, if he kept walking, whoever it was would just… let him go. Maybe he could pretend like he didn’t hear them, and he could just move on with his day. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to figure out the best course of action. 

“Eret? Are you alright?” 

Fuck. 

He slowly turned around, trying his best not to grimace when he saw Bad standing at one of the other doors. 

“Hey…” The word sounded forced, even to him. “Uh, I was just… um…” 

Bad’s face fell ever so slightly as he noticed the small bag slung across Eret’s back. 

“Are you going to the forest again?” Eret tried his best to ignore the way that Bad’s voice was tinged with a slight disappointment. It would only make him feel guilty. 

“Uh, yeah…” 

“Were you just going to leave again? Without telling anyone?” Although there was no accusation in his tone, the words still cut deep, acting as a harsh reminder of his own actions. 

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to dispel some of the nervous energy that was swirling around him. “I didn’t want to worry you guys anymore… I left a note upstairs though, I swear!” 

That was a lie. There was no note, there never was a note. But if claiming that there was helped to ease Bad’s worries, then that was what he was going to do. 

He could tell that Bad didn’t believe him. Although his friend would never actually call him out on it, he could still tell from the way his shoulders slumped ever so slightly, or the small frown that crossed his face. 

“Ok… Well, before you head out again, me and George were hoping to give you something,” Bad’s voice was filled with a forced cheerfulness, complete with a matching smile. 

Eret’s head shot up in disbelief. What on earth did they possibly have to give him? They had already done so much to help him, what more could there possibly be? 

Tendrils of guilt began to worm their way through Eret’s mind, reminding him of all the ways his friends had helped him over the past months, and all the ways he had failed to return their kindness. How was he supposed to accept yet another gift? 

“I really don’t need anything, you guys have already done enough for me,” he protested, knowing full well that nothing he could say would actually dissuade Bad. 

“Nonsense, this is something that we wanted to do for you. Hold on, I’ll go get George. Don’t go anywhere!” he cried out, already rushing out of the building. 

Eret let out a long sigh at the final sentence. Of course Bad didn’t trust him to not run off. 

Why would he?

~~~

Despite every instinct in his body that was telling him to run, Eret found himself rooted to the spot where he stood. When Bad returned nearly 10 minutes later with George behind him, he had hardly moved. 

“So… What exactly is going on?” Even to his own ears, his voice sounded forced and strained. 

“Well, George and I were talking,” Bad started, already rummaging through one of the many chests that lined the walls, “and we realized that you’re going to be king soon, right?” 

Eret couldn’t help but flinch at the reminder. To him, the title of king was nothing more than a reminder of what he had lost. A reminder of the pain he had caused for his friends. A reminder of the pain that he would continue to cause. 

But still, he couldn’t let his own reluctance show. If he remembered correctly, becoming king had meant a lot to his alter-ego. Hell, he had gone so far as to betray his friends, just so that he could secure the crown. 

And so he forced a smile onto his face, doing his best to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth. “I mean, yeah. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen for a while, but… yeah that was the idea. Why?” 

Bad’s grin grew wider, his face alight with barely contained excitement as he continued searching through different chests. Even George, who rarely showed any outward excitement around Eret, had a small smile on his face. 

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise. I just gotta find it first” 

“I uh, I think it's hanging up downstairs,” George interjected, already moving towards the stairs, “I can go grab it, hold on.” 

He was gone only for a few moments before he emerged at the top of the staircase, holding something behind his back, hidden from Eret’s line of sight. “Do you wanna explain what it is?” He asked, his question clearly directed at Bad. 

Bad nodded, then turned back to Eret, pride showing in his eyes. “Well, we wanted to get you something nice for your coronation. I know it probably isn’t going to be for a while, but you’ve seemed really stressed lately, and we wanted to do something nice for you!” 

George grinned, revealing a long, extravagant coat from behind his back. “Sapnap and Punz helped out with collecting dyes as well.” 

The silk coat was a deep shade of crimson, embellished with gold accents. It felt nice to touch but it was also durable. The inside of the coat was lined with an insulating fur that pokes over the collar, making the inside of it warm. 

He glanced up at both George and Bad, his brow furrowed in slight confusion. “Wait… Wait is this… What?” 

“It’s a coat! I know it gets cold at night so we made you this. Not to mention, a king should look the part.”

Tears started to form in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he gently took the coat. “Thank you” He forced out, unsure of what else he was supposed to say. 

“Go on then,” George said. “Put it on!”

Slowly, he took off the tattered L’manburg uniform, bloodied and stained with dirt, and put on the new coat. It felt… different. But, a good different. 

“Thank you.”

~~~

Several days had passed since Eret had last left the community house. Several days since George and Bad had gifted him the red coat. 

George could tell that their friend's absence was starting to chip away at Bad, his worry festering underneath his skin. By the third day, George had had enough. 

He quickly packed two bags, complete with everything that they would need for a long journey. He might not have known where exactly their friend had gone, but they knew the general direction. That would have to be enough. 

“Hey Bad!” He called out, his friend quickly coming down the stairs of the community house. 

“Whats up?” 

“Come on, we’re gonna go look for him.” 

~~~

Neither of them had any idea what they were looking for, all they knew was that it was somewhere in the eastern dark oak forest. They had spent nearly a week searching every nook and cranny of the woods, never finding any trace of their friend. 

That is, until they stumbled across a pathway. The dirt had been worn down, leaving a trail that they could follow.

The path had led to a small clearing, with a dark building in the center. 

Both George and Bad had recognized the strange material almost instantly. Bedrock. Eret had somehow found a building made of bedrock.

What the hell. 

The area surrounding the building was devoid of any human life, the only exception being a lone horse that was sleeping in the warm sun. 

“Well, I think we found him…” Bad’s voice was filled with concern. 

As they stepped into the strange building, they saw the room completely empty except for a machine in the middle. And unconscious at the desk, was…

“Eret?!”

~~~

Master Post

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Taglist :D (feel free to send me an ask if you wanna be added) @hismilw @violet--majesty @chiera99 @koi-boye @waffle-time-god @miss-oleum @porkgavo @crafted-dreams​ @harley-the-pancake​ @lemonaid-ruru  @g3rmpy​​ @somethingtocrowabout  @bee-tubbo​​ @firepowder​​ @jayebird ​ @rayjayo  @carry-on-my-wayward-why​ ​ @echo-delta​ ​ @star-fruit23 ​ @brieflyburningbaguette 

#alright you can have some fluff #as a treat #the real world #the gilded cage #split realities #eret #the_eret #dream smp #dsmp #mcyt #mcyt au #my writing #badboyhalo #georgenotfound

[hyperpsychomaniac]

The Woodchuck Leader Assessment - Chapter 5

DT17 Fanfiction

Summary: When Launchpad’s ability to supervise children is called into question, Dewey tags along on a Junior Woodchuck trip to support his best friend.

Chapter 1

Also cross-posted on fanfiction.net.

***

Despite saying ‘ow’ multiple times, Launchpad had been prodded way more than he was comfortable with. The doctor had kept at it until he’d mercifully declared he didn’t have any broken bones and could go home. Launchpad usually didn’t like hospitals, apart from the food, partly because he could never understand what everyone was doing to him, but mostly because he didn’t like being left alone after his friends had to go home. But today, he would’ve happily stayed overnight if it meant he could just go straight to sleep.

Finally free of his tormentor, Launchpad pushed his soggy clothes into his duffel bag with leaden arms. No broken bones, but his entire body ached. He had bruises absolutely everywhere and his muscles felt like he’d way, way overdone it at the gym. His stomach was still knotting up with cramps and he’d only stopped coughing up water about an hour ago.

And he couldn’t stop sneezing. Launchpad felt another coming on, screwed up his face, but to no avail as it only came exploding out with greater force. It jarred his whole body, and Launchpad groaned.

“Bless you.” Della stood in the doorway to the hospital room.

“Oh, hey. You got here quick.”

“Um, yeah? You dropped my kid in a river and I got a call to say you were both been taken to hospital, of course I…”

Launchpad lowered his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

Della held up her hands. “No, no. You jumped in after him! I didn’t mean… wow, I’m bad at this. I mean… thank you. You jumped in after him; you got him out. That’s the important part.”

“Is he…?”

“He was right here…” Della leaned back out into the hallway. “Dewey. Come on, sweetie, it’s okay.”

A sneeze sounded from down the hallway and then Dewey stuck his head around the door. He was far from his usual exuberant self, shivering and wrapped up in one of Della’s spare jackets.

Launchpad swallowed the lump in his throat. They’d said Dewey was fine but it was different actually seeing him standing there. This time, he’d been strong enough to save his friend. “Hey Dewey, how are you feeling? That river was really cold.”

Dewey stared up at him, wide eyes filling with tears, then rushed him. Launchpad dropped to his knees and grunted as Dewey slammed into him, buried his face against his chest, and sobbed into his one dry shirt. “I thought…” Dewey finally choked out. “I saw you go over the waterfall. I didn’t know what happened to you, and you were only in the water because of me, and…”

Launchpad squeezed him back tight. “It’s okay, I get it. It’s scary, huh?”

Della stepped over and gently squeezed her son’s shoulder. “Huey told me the guy assessing you was a real jerk. Both to you and the kids. Why the hell have they got someone like that in the Junior Woodchucks? If I get my hands on him…”

“I’m going to talk to the Duckberg head leader,” said Launchpad, as he rubbed Dewey’s back. “She needs to know he hasn’t changed. I don’t know why they even brought him back.”

“Won’t that look bad? You dobbing him in when he’s probably going to give you a bad report?”

Launchpad gulped. He hadn’t thought of that. “She’ll… she’ll listen to me. And I’ve got to try, even if Jack’s report gets me kicked out. He made me feel like garbage as a kid. I can’t let him talk to kids like that.”

Dewey sniffed as he extricated himself from Launchpad’s arms.

“You okay, honey?” said Della.

Dewey pushed the remaining tears from his eyes and squared his shoulders. “You’re not garbage, LP. If Mr Russell won’t give you a good report, I’ll go in and give you one. I mean, I’m not one of your Woodchucks so I can assess you, right?”

Launchpad ruffled his hair. “I’m not actually sure. But thanks.”

“Come on,” said Della. “The other parents have picked up their kids already. But I figured I could drive the bus back for you. You’ve been through enough for one day. It’s the least I can do.”

Launchpad’s shoulders slumped. “Aw man, thanks Della. I need to sleep. And it’ll be way comfier on the back seat than in the driver’s seat.”

“Um… right.”

***

“Launchpad, Launchpad!”

“Huh?” Launchpad snorted and sat straight up, then winced and put a hand to his stomach. The world spun in a groggy dimly lit soup and, for a moment, he wasn’t sure where he was.

Concern creased Della’s face under the harsh bus lighting. “Aw, man. I’m sorry. You were really out of it. I already took Dewey and Huey home, you slept right through it. But you can’t stay on the bus all night, you’ll be super stiff.”

Launchpad sneezed, then rubbed at his beak. He could already feel his muscles stiffening up, although he wasn’t sure how long he’d slept. It was dark outside.

Della grabbed up his duffel bag and carried it into Mr McDee’s garage for him, so at least he didn’t have to do that. Launchpad trailed her inside. He picked his jacket up where he’d left it slung over his curtain railing, put it on, then sunk onto the sofa.

“You’re… going to sleep in that?”

Launchpad hugged his arms. “Yes.” Somehow, the jacket felt warm and safe.

Della looked about awkwardly, then tucked the duffel bag away into a corner. “Are you going to be alright? You know if you need anything… ?”

Launchpad smiled faintly. “No, I think I just need to sleep. Not on a bus. I’m probably going to feel this in the morning anyway.”

Della winced. “Yeah.” She rubbed at her arm. “Listen, I know you and Dewey are real close anyway. But what you did… I mean, you didn’t have to do that, and…”

Launchpad blinked up at her. “Of course I did.”

Della’s shoulders slumped. “Aw LP, I… stuff it…” She thew her arms around his neck, eliciting a grunt, and her fingers dug into his jacket. “Thank you.” She held him for a long moment, before pushing him back. “Just get some sleep, okay?”

***

As he strode into the Duckberg Junior Woodchuck headquarters Launchpad checked over his prompt cards yet again. He’d written a few of them himself, most had input from Violet and Huey, and they’d had to explain the one to him that said ‘conflict of interest.’ Despite the preparation Launchpad still had no idea how this would go down. But he had to speak up for his Woodchucks.

As he approached the Duckberg head’s office, voices carried down the hall, and Launchpad stalled.

“I’m done I tell you. One ran through camp and…. and I don’t think he was even wearing any underwear. I had to retrieve three items of my clothes from various trees. What the hell does ‘Boomer’ mean anyway? And then the damned kid had to go and throw himself in the river; I can’t deal with crap like that anymore. I don’t need to go on camping trips to do assessments, let me handle the paperwork, and if you need me to chew out any of your leaders who get out of line, I’m your man, but keep those kids away from me.”

Launchpad gulped and forced himself into movement. “Um…” The door to the head’s office was open, and he knocked tentatively on the frame.

Jack whirled around. “Launchpad…”

Behind her desk, Emily Hooterman, head of the Duckberg Woodchucks, stared wide-eyed between the two of them and visibly winced.

How the heck was he supposed to do this with Jack here?

“I’ll… just… yeah, I’ve had my say, Emily. I’ve… paperwork.” Jack moved for the door, stopped, then loudly cleared his throat.

“Oh, sorry.” Launchpad stepped back to let him through.

Jack moved into the hall, slowed, then spun around and stabbed a finger into Launchpad’s chest. “What you did was really dumb!” He glared at him for a moment, chest heaving, then lowered his finger. “But, I guess you can swim through a bloody raging torrent, so… I’m glad you and the boy are okay.” And with that he turned and ambled off down the hallway.

Launchpad stared at his old leader’s rapidly retreating back. What the heck had just happened?

“Wow…” Emily shook herself. “Launchpad, sweetie, you look… it’s okay. Get in here and close the door.”

“Um, sure, Ms H.” Launchpad gulped, shut the door, then sat down in the chair across the desk from the old owl.

She looked at him over her glasses. “Launchpad…”

Launchpad winced. “Sorry. Emily. See, this is why it’s great my Woodchucks can call me Launchpad. It is going to be so much less confusing for them when they’re adults.”

Emily didn’t appear to be listening. She stared at is chest, then a faint smile touched her beak as she looked back up. “You’ve put on your swimming badge.”

“Ah, yeah…” Launchpad fingered his sash self-consciously. The morning after Della had taken him home, he’d woken sore and stiff, and a little melancholic. He hadn’t had the energy to do anything useful, so he’d ended up going through some of his old Woodchuck stuff. He hadn’t realised he’d been looking for something that reminded him of Calvin, not until he’d found the old badge. As he’d held it in his hand, it had seemed silly not to put it where it belonged. Even then, when he’d sewed it on, it’d felt like a tiny hotspot on his chest, something that shouldn’t be there, and any second someone was going to call him on it. “I mean, the kids saw me swim over a waterfall so, I guess, I can’t really pretend that, I, I can’t…”

“Sweetheart,” Emily said gently, “you’ve more than earned that.”

Launchpad straightened. “I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Your assessment?”

Of course. Jack had already handed it in. Emily had read it. Launchpad could feel his guts tightening, but he shook his head. “No. Not exactly. Mr Russell… Jack…” He pulled out his prompt cards and shuffled them shakily. One slipped to the floor. He groaned and looked at it mournfully. He was still too sore to stretch that far. As long as it wasn’t the ‘conflict of interest’ one.

Emily winced. “Launchpad, wait…”

Launchpad’s gaze hardened. He shoved the rest of the cards back in his sash as he turned to Emily. “I don’t like the way Jack spoke to my Woodchucks, and I don’t think he should be in a position where he can make them feel like… like he did to me when I was a kid. I know he’s supposed to be the one reporting on me, and this probably looks bad, but… well, I’m really mad at him.”

Emily sighed. “You wouldn’t be the first leader who’s complained. But I think your Woodchucks may have solved both our problems for us.”

“Huh? How?”

“Did you hear what Jack was ranting about when you walked in here? Your kids scared him, or at least really annoyed him. He just came in here to tell me he’s done going on trips. He still wants to help out with the Woodchucks, just as long as he doesn’t have to deal directly with the kids. And, well, he’ll probably still upset some of the adults but I think they can handle him.”

“So, he’s not…”

“He’s not going to be anywhere near the kids.”

“That… was easier than I expected. I mean, the last time he got kicked out, it took…” Launchpad lowered his gaze and rubbed at one of the bruises on his chest.

Emily chewed her lip. “Listen, Launchpad, lets back up for a second. I need to apologise to you. I don’t assign the assessors. Jack got put with you. When I found out I meant to give you a heads up. But I got busy, and… I’m sorry. Especially after everything that happened with the Duck boy, look, I’m so, so sorry. I know it couldn’t have been a fun trip for you.”

Launchpad shrugged. “So… does this mean I still get to be Woodchuck leader?” He tried to keep the hope out of his voice.

Emily picked up some sheets of paper from her desk. “Well, Jack’s assessment was certainly… interesting.”

That told him nothing. Launchpad gulped as his gaze sat squarely on the far too thick document in Emily’s hands. “I don’t know what he said but… I know what I did wrong anyway. I shouldn’t have left the kids alone with him all night. He just… he just upset me, and I didn’t mean to, but I ended up spending the whole night up on the bus. I dumped them on Jack, and maybe it would’ve been okay if it’d been someone else, but I wasn’t there to stop him talking down to them. They’re my responsibility, and I screwed up. Whatever else he’s got in there, he’s probably being unfair, but if that’s there, then… it’s true…” He hung his head.

“I’m not surprised he upset you, given your history, and, well… Jack. It’s okay, and like I said, I’m sorry I put you in the position. But he doesn’t decide who stays and who goes. I do. Most of his report was, well… standard Jack. Although he rambled on a bit more for you than I’ve seen him do anyone else. He says he still thinks you’re crazy, but at least you’re crazy enough to do something dumb to actually save a kid… I think he intended that as a compliment.”

Launchpad raised his head. “Wait, he said that?”

Emily shrugged. “I think that may have been what he was trying to do when he bailed out of here. And tell you off, but, you know, that’s Jack.”

“So I can stay right? I mean I figured you keep sending me assessors, I probably was doing something wrong.”

“Launchpad, the biggest reason you keep getting stuck with assessors is because you’re the only one of our leaders looking after your Woodchucks by yourself. If you had a parter or two, you’d be able to back each other up, and we wouldn’t have to keep sending someone to check up on you to settle down concerned parents. But,” she winced. “It does help if you don’t wake up hibernating bears.”

“Okay, I’ll try to do better next time…”

“You did plenty good, Launchpad. And I get how hard it must’ve been jumping in that river for you.”

Launchpad smiled faintly. Jumping in the river had not been hard the part. Not to go after Dewey. “Thanks.”

“Look, I think Jack’s gone. But if you need to stay a few extra minutes to be sure…”

“There was… something else I wanted to ask you about,” Launchpad said in a rush, before he could chicken out. He hadn’t written it on his prompt cards because he hadn’t wanted Violet and Huey to see it yet.

“What is it?”

“I… I just wanted to know if it’d be okay if I… look, the kids got a bit stupid, partly to help me, partly because of the stuff Jack said. What they did with Dewey, I don’t think they realised how dumb that was, and I…” Launchpad pressed back into the chair and hugged his arms. “I wanted to ask if I could tell them about Calvin.”

“LP… You… you don’t need to ask me about that…”

“I mean, I think they kind of know what happened from what I was yelling at Jack. But I thought maybe it would help them understand how stuff can go wrong even when you’re trying to help someone? And that how they talk to people matters, and… I’ll leave out some bits but I thought I should ask first, because Woodchucks is supposed to be fun, and, well… I guess its just not a very nice story.”

He looked up, and far from looking horrified, Emily was smiling at him with watery eyes. “I think that’s a great idea. You might even… maybe you could share it with some of the other Woodchuck groups?”

“I… I don’t know…”

Emily held up her hands. “Sorry. Just, yes, of course, just tell your Woodchucks. But let me know how it goes?”

Launchpad nodded as he stood to his feet. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Launchpad, wait.” Emily got up and moved around her desk to meet him at the door. “Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

“Yeah, Ms H. I think I need that.”

This time, as she put her arms around him, she didn’t correct him.

#launchpad #launchpad mcquack #dt17 #dt17 launchpad #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #ducktales fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #della duck #dewey duck #launchpad needs a hug

[bittywitches]

Kitty Love (Ethan Dolan Fanfic)

GIF credit *@ethanhes​*

A/N: I wrote this sooo long ago (literally right after the first mini home video came out??) but it didn’t even end up being all that related to the vid in the first place....lol

Basically Ethan and Y/N are childhood bffs and Y/N has never really been away from Ethan for that long before and it starts to cause some ~tension~ when she comes to see how things are going on the van

Anyways, thanks for reading, ly <3

“It seriously should not have taken you that long to get here.” Ethan grinned when he saw Y/N walk into the room. 

“Hey, lay off. I’ve never been here before, it took me a while to figure it out.” She smiled back at him, pulling the straps of her backpack closer to her back. 

“Yea yea.” He stretched his arms out, welcoming her into his embrace. She walked into his arms and gave him a tight squeeze. “I’m so bored. Thank you so much for coming, I’d probably shoot myself by now if you didn’t show up.”

She grabbed his shoulders and looked over them, peering over at the others working on the van. Sawdust floated through the entire room, and there was overall dampness in the air that seems to come with all of the wood material around.

“Gray isn’t letting you do any work, huh?” She stepped back from him and was able to catch Grayson’s attention long enough to give him a quick wave. He smiled and waved back, then went back to sawing more wood pieces.

Ethan groaned. “Yeah.”

She shrugged. “Understandable. You can’t do shit.”

“Wow, okay. Fuck you too.”

She giggled and patted his cheek. “So, road trip, huh? Sounds pretty exciting.”

He grinned. “Yea. It’s gonna be so fun. We finally have the time to put more effort into something cool.” The next few weeks were pretty much booked solid for him, filled with one fun thing after the other. They’d take a Road trip to Jersey where he’d be able to hang out with his family for a bit, and then fly out to Australia. Sure, they were cutting it close, but that was all part of the excitement, right?

“Right. And clearly, you’re putting in TONS of effort.” She patted his chest with both hands, chuckling at him a bit. Her eyes seemed to sparkle a bit whenever she did that like there was some magic in there that came out of her with every smile. Maybe it was just the familiarity of her, but whenever Ethan saw her little dimples it sent a warm feeling throughout his chest. 

Ethan and Y/N had been friends for almost forever, and she came over quite often. They’d met each other back in grade school, and became really close as they got older. He was fairly certain she wouldn’t have moved out to LA if the twins hadn’t decided to in the first place. He was confident enough to say she was his closest friend, after Grayson of course. She was his cozy place he could retreat to whenever he wanted. 

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Are you just here to insult me?”

“Hey, you’re the one who called me!”

“And you somehow are making me regret it.”

“Shut up.” She shoved his chest, and he smiled at her.

“So, how are you doing?”

“You ask me that as if you didn’t see me just yesterday.”

“Oh my god, you’re so annoying.” He brushed a hand through his hair. “How're classes going n stuff?”

She sighed, rubbing her shoulders, which were peppered with freckles. They matched the ones on her face, and Ethan loved to run his fingers over them, dragging his finger across the freckles like he was connecting the dots to draw a bigger picture. “Alright, I guess. Everything’s been super boring lately. I just work, eat, go over to your house, and sleep.”

“Sounds pretty fun to me,” Ethan remarked.

“Yeah, well maybe you should take my classes for me and I’ll go on your little road trip.”

Ethan groaned, and she giggled. “Sorry. I don’t mean to complain.”

“No no I’m not annoyed.” He rubbed her elbow. “Maybe you SHOULD come with us. That seems like it’d be more interesting than your classes.”

She laughed. “I know you’re not serious because you’d never kick Kyle off the trip.”

“Who said we’d have to kick off Kyle?”

“That bed can not fit four people!”

“Who says? You can just snuggle up real close to me.”

“Hmmm.. while that does sound appealing...” she stepped closer to him then flicked his nose with her finger, making his heart flutter. “you know that’d never work. School and whatnot.” She slumped her shoulders.

“Yea..” Ethan sighed. “Wish you could though. I’m not gonna see you for so long.”

She looked up at him, head tilted, a gentle look in her eye. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” It looked like she was holding back, but she gave that up and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his chest. Ethan was caught by surprise a bit but loved the feeling of Y/N’s warmth all the same.

“You okay?” He rubbed her back gently, burying his nose into her hair. 

“Yea.” She brought her hands down to rest against his chest, placing her ear next to his heart. “You won’t even be gone that long. Dunno why I feel like I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“E, come over here!” Grayson shouted from the table he was at.

Ethan groaned, annoyed that this was the moment Grayson finally decided he needed his help. “Hey, gimme a sec.” He untangled himself from Y/N, then grabbed her waist, hoisting her up onto the nearest counter. “Be right back.”

“Okayyy.” She dangled her feet, kicking them back and forth as she watched Ethan make his way over to Grayson. Her eyes lingered, as If she was trying to memorize his shape. She was right, he really wouldn’t be gone for that long, but something about not seeing his face every day hit her in a bad way.

Only then did she notice that there was a big white splotch of dust on the back of Ethan’s pants. She giggled, then yelled, “Ethan, when did you start powdering your ass?”

He turned around abruptly, looked down, and smirked as he wiped the dust off of himself. “Eyes up here, honey.”

She sniggered. “All right, hot stuff.”

“You know it!” He yelled when he turned his back to her to keep walking.

She laughed, her eyes following him somewhat wistfully. 

He’s pretty cute, isn’t he? She thought.

Y/N took her bag off her back and set it down next to her on the counter. then brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. She found her eyes kept wandering back to the twins, one in particular. Ethan was wearing a loose sweatshirt and black shorts, and his hair was all ruffled up, a bit of sawdust floating around the top of his head. He had his hands planted on his hips, seeming to look deeply entranced in whatever Grayson was telling him. Y/N giggled, thinking that he probably had no idea what his brother was talking about. She loved Ethan, but his attention was all over the place. He’d never been able to keep his focus on anything for too long.

Except maybe on her.

Ethan wrapped up his conversation with Grayson and started to make his way back to Y/N. she was on her phone, kicking her feet back on forth and they were rhythmically tapping on the side of the counter. Her hair was tied back into a braid, and she was wearing a loose tank top and tights, her sweatshirt wrapped around her waist. She kept fiddling with the hair peeking out over her ear, and Ethan smiled. She seemed to always be fiddling with something, she could never sit still. It was like she could never calm herself down. She always had to be doing something.

Except maybe when with him.

“Hey, sorry about that.” He walked up to the counter. 

“Oh, no problem.” She tucked her phone away into her pocket. “I’m sure you were doing something VERY important.” Her mouth quirked up.

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know that this van wouldn’t be able to be built without my input.”

“Oh, yea? What was Gray asking you about?”

“...the colour of the floorboards.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize you were in a position to make such big decisions.”

“Shut up!” He shoved her shoulder, and she laughed. 

“I’m sorry, teasing you is so fun.” She stretched her arms out for him, and Ethan boosted her off of the counter.

“Jesus, there’s so much dust everywhere.” She wiped the dust off her butt and thighs. 

“I mean that’s kinda what happens when you sit on the dusty counter.”

“Which you put me on.”

“Same difference.”

“Wait, so you’re saying that your powdered ass was a result of you sitting around doing nothing while Grayson’s out here doing all the heavy work?”

“Oh my god, I’m done with you.” He walked off to the other side of the workshop and she laughed as she followed alongside him.

“I’m sorry, you make it so easy!”

——

It had been nearly an hour, and both Y/N and Ethan were bored out of their minds. They debated leaving to go hang out elsewhere, maybe go get coffee, but Ethan didn’t want to leave Grayson alone to be making all the decisions on the van. Like he was making any in the first place.

Ethan kept wandering around the room, looking around at what the others were doing, when he finally settled for a few minutes in one corner of the workshop.

“Y/N LOOK WHO I JUST FOUND.”

Y/N’s head perked up from her phone, looking around for Ethan but unable to catch his eye. “What??”

Ethan stepped around the corner, the biggest grin on his face and the cutest little kitten in his arms.

“Oh. My god.” Y/N jumped off the counter and ran up to him with a smile matching Ethan’s. “Oh my GOD he’s so cute!!”

“Right??” Ethan scratches him below the neck, causing the kitten to purr.

“Oh, you sweet little baby.” She ran her hand over his little head, scratching behind his ears. His nose twitched, and Y/N squealed in delight. “You’re a little cutie, aren’t you?” She said in a baby voice, and it felt like Ethan’s heart had doubled in size.

“Since when do you talk like that?”

“Since you started bringing me the cutest kitten ever.”

She was entranced with the little kitten, love, and adoration pouring out of her. God, she was so adorable. Ethan couldn’t help but feel like he wanted that kind of adoration from her. 

“Yes, you’re just the most adorable thing ever.” She babied the cat, and Ethan couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. 

“He’s so cute givehimtome.”

Y/N went to take the kitten from Ethan’s arms, but he pulled back for a moment, deciding he wanted to have some fun with Y/N for a bit.

“Hold on. This cat is precious. You have to be careful you know.”

“I know how to hold a cat!”

“This cat is a BABY. It’s our baby! I can’t be so carefree with my child!”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “He’s not our baby.”

Ethan gasped and cupped a hand over the kitten’s ear left ear. “Don’t you dare talk like that in front of our son!”

“Ethan come oooon I want to play with it too!”

“Our CHILD is not something to be played with, Y/N! He deserves the utmost care and to be fair I don’t think you can do it.”

“How dare you!” She lunged for the kitten but Ethan turned his back to her, holding the cat out of reach. 

“Ethan careful you’re going to drop him!”

Although Y/N didn’t really think he would. To be honest, the cat seemed to be having a fun time, wiggling his tail about as Ethan held it in his arms. 

“I am being careful, unlike you! You are a danger to this precious creature!”

“Ethan PLEASE! I want the fuzzy baby!” She grabbed his arm and tugged, making him turn around to face her. 

“No Y/N, I can’t trust you. You need to calm down.”

“How am I supposed to come down when you won’t let me hold our son??”

Ethan immediately stopped the charade, blinking at Y/N. Y/N, surprised at Ethan’s abrupt stop, looked up at him expectedly with her arms outstretched. “Give him to me.”

He did so right away and watched how Y/N’s expression of annoyance quickly morphed into one of excitement. 

“You called him our son.”

“I did what I had to do so I could hold him.”

“Uhuh. Sure.”

She rolled her eyes once more and turned her back to him. “I’m walking away now.”

“No you’re not, we need to discuss this! What does this mean for our son??”

“Ethan!”

——

Nearing the end of the day, the rest of the boys and Grayson were finishing up their work on the van.

“E, I’m so tired.”

“Mhm.”

Y/N rubbed her eyes and let out a yawn. “Let’s go home.”

“Come on...” he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and gave her a tight squeeze. “They’re almost done.”

“That’s what they say.” She groaned and leaned into his chest.

“C'mon. Let’s go.” She grabbed his sweatshirt and started to tug him.

“Y/N...”

“Pleaaaase.” She groaned. “I’m exhausted.”

He was tempted, but he knew he’d never hear the end of it if he left Grayson without saying anything.

“Okay... hold on.”

He shouted over to Gray. “Yo! Y/N’s tired, I’m taking her home!”

Gray shot him a thumbs-up, and Ethan turned back to her. “Alright, let's go.”

“Wait. Go where?”

Ethan blinked at her. “Are you high or something?”

“No!”

“You just asked if we could go home. So now I’m taking you home.”

“My home?”

“Okay, are you seriously alright? Did you breathe in too much sawdust?” He creased his eyebrows.

“Ethan!” 

“YES, your home.”

“No wait, I meant your place. Let’s go to your place.”

Ethan raised her eyebrows at her. “This late?”

“I’ll just sleepover.”

“But you have class tomorrow morning.”

Who cares?

“You can drive me.”

“I don’t think I’ll have time to..”

Seeing her face drop made him change his mind completely.

“Yea. I can do that.”

She grinned and pumped her fists into the air. “Yusss, I’m gonna get cuddles.”

Ethan’s faces flushed, and he rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Nope. You will drown in my cuddles.”

She grabbed his sweatshirt and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her nose almost touching his. Ethan’s jaw had dropped just a tiny bit, not knowing what to do, being so close to her. His face heated up so fast, it felt like Y/N could almost feel it, but she laughed. “Carry me to the car?”

“Oh my god, you lazy ass.” 

“Hmph.” She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, then rested her head on his shoulder. Ethan grabbed her thighs and held her tightly, grinning like a fool.

“What’re you smiling about?” Y/N asked him slyly. 

“Nothin’.” He said, making his way towards the car. 

“Dumbass.” She murmured, smiling into his sweatshirt.

---------

“Open the door, it’s freezing.” Y/N shivered, retreating into the sweatshirt Ethan gave her while in the car. 

“Okay, okay. Hold on.” Ethan’s hands fumbled in the cold, shoving the key into the lock and jiggling it vigorously before the door opened.

Y/n couldn’t help but giggle at his red-tinted ears and nose. She could tell he was cold, but he was trying to hide it. Though not very well, because along with his shivering fingers, him shifting his weight from side to side while searching for the key was a dead giveaway. She felt kind of bad taking his sweatshirt, but she also loved that he was willing to do that for her.

“Okay, it’s open.” He huffed.

“Finally.” Y/N ran into the house, kicking her shoes off at the door. “How can it be this cold in LA?”

“We’ve been spoiled by the heat.” He closed the door behind him, placing his shoes next to hers by the door. “Canada would make us it’s bitch.”

“Honestly, yea.” Y/N grabbed Ethan's hand to drag him to his room, but let out a small gasp. “Jesus, your hands are freezing.” 

“Yea, because somebody stole my sweatshirt.” 

“You gave it to me!” 

“Whatever.”

She grumbled. “Okayyy I’m sorry. I’ll give you extra cuddles while we watch a movie to make up for it.”

“Hey, you have school tomorrow.” His eyes softened and he pulled her into his chest, and she huffed into his T-shirt.

“Whatever.” She mocked him.

“Dude, it’s late.” He looked down at her. “You’re not gonna be able to wake up in the morning.” 

“Yea I will.” She shoved him gently. “We’ll watch it on your laptop, then I can just fall asleep on your bed.” 

“Y/N…”

“Come onnnn.” She tugged on his arm, and he sighed in defeat. 

“Okay! Just let me go make some tea or something.” She nodded, letting his hand go so he could leave for the kitchen. “My laptop is on my bed, just pick a movie, ‘kay?” 

She gave him a thumbs-up, then made her way to his bedroom. She plopped down onto his bed, grabbing the laptop then throwing the covers over her. She sighed, relaxing her shoulders at the familiar environment of Ethan’s bedroom. 

Although...

What am I doing here?

Y/N sighed, slumping down further into the mattress. What was she doing here? She had come over to Ethan’s house at midnight, in hopes of watching a movie with him on a weekday? With school tomorrow? What was she doing?

God, I’m so into him, aren’t I?

She groaned, pulling the covers over her head in defeat. The overwhelming smell of Ethan from the sheets only helped fuel her frustration. She grunted, throwing the sheets off of her, trying to free her nose of the scent. 

“ETHAN!” She yelled for him.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” She heard his voice echoing down the hall, followed by his footsteps. He pushed the door open with his side, both of his hands being occupied by two cups of warm tea. He sat himself down on the edge of the bed and handed her one of the cups. “Here.”

She looked at him warily, trying her hardest to take the cup without touching his fingers, which got a weird look from Ethan. She took a sip of the tea.

She groaned.

It was perfect. Exactly how she liked it.

“Oh my god, you suck ass.” She swatted his shoulder in frustration.

“What?” His eyebrows creased. “I swear I did the way you usually do. I soaked the tea bag for exactly three minutes, added the teaspoon of sugar before the milk, and then just one spoon of honey-”

“GOD, I hate you so much.” She shoved him in the shoulder again, groaning as she laid her head back onto the headboard. 

Ethan raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” Y/N mumbled.

“Are you mad at me or something?”

“No!” she said, flustered.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

“Ethan, NO!” 

“Then what the fuck are you so pissy about?”

“NOTHING, okay?” She set her tea on the side table and pulled the laptop towards her aggressively. “Jesus.”

Ethan tilted his head at her. “Y/N?”

“What do you want?” She looked up at him menacingly.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Will you just tell me what the matter is?”

“There is no matter to tell you.”

“If you don’t tell me I won’t watch the movie with you.”

“I have nothing to say!”

He took her hand. She almost flinched, his warm hand sending a shock throughout her entire body. She looked at him, and his eyes were concentrated on her. “Tell me.”

She lost herself in a few seconds of bliss, but then yanked her hand away. “Get out of my face.”

He huffed. “Okay, fine. You don’t have to tell me what it is, just tell me if I’m the reason you’re all grumpy.”

Are you kidding?

She groaned. “Ethan… please just watch the movie.” She shimmied over patting the seat next to her.

He shook his head. “Tell me first.”

She sighed. “Okay. fine.” She took a deep breath. “You are the reason.” 

Ethan leaned back, seeming a bit bewildered. “Okay. don’t know what I was expecting you to say, but kind of didn’t want it to be that.” he waited for her to respond, to give him something, anything, but she just awkwardly stared at the laptop screen.

He sat there for a moment, wondering what exactly to say to her. He looked like he really wanted to ask her what this was all about, but he knew he couldn’t. He said that he wouldn’t.

“Okay then.” He got up. “Did you pick a movie?”

Y/N was so lost in her own thoughts, she had practically forgotten about choosing one. “Oh, yea. Sure. Just lemme check.”

“Alright, just let me text Gray real quick, okay?” She nodded. Ethan sat down at his desk chair, swiveling it around so he faced her. He took out his phone and began typing up whatever it was he was going to send to his brother.

Y/N watched him, warily from the bed. She didn’t know what to do. There were so many things going through her head at once. She wanted to tell him. She wanted him to know why she was there. She wanted him to know why she wanted to watch a movie. She wanted him to know how she felt. She wanted him to feel the same way. 

She wanted him. 

“Hey, E.” 

“Mhm?” 

“Look at me.”

He looked up at her skeptically, raising an eyebrow. “What is it?”

She looked at his eyes for a moment, the brown and hazelnut seeming to warm her from the inside. She took in every part of him. His eyes, his nose, his pesky hair that never stayed in one place. His beauty marks and almost non-existent acne scars, his sharp jawline and his stubble. His somehow still tinted ears, his dimples, his soft pink lips.

Huh.

“Kiss me.”

He didn’t react at first, not seeming to follow. Then a quick flash of a smile, thinking it was a joke. But as he realized she was serious, his eyes widened, the colour from his ears now flushing to his face.

“What?”

“Kiss me.”

He moved his mouth, but couldn’t seem to form any words. “I don’t-”

“Ethan kiss me before I change my mind.”

He seemed frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. He didn’t seem to understand the words she had just said. He stared at her, running his eyes over her, landing finally on her lips. He’d tried so hard to keep his eyes away from them, but now he couldn’t help it. They were all he wanted.

She was all he wanted.

He got up, cupped her face with his hands, and pressed his greedy lips to hers. A moan escaped Y/N’s lips, and Ethan smiled against them when he heard that heavenly sound. Her face flushed, feeling the smile on Ethan’s lips, and she pulled away.

“I hate you.”

“I’m sorry. You’re fucking adorable.”

“God, I HATE you!” She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him again. He leaned forward, pushing her all the way down so she laid down on the bed, and he held himself over her, propping himself up with his arms on either side of her. He deepened the kiss, not able to get enough of the taste of her lips. He pulled back, smiling at her. 

“I thought you were mad at me.”

She glanced away from him. “Well, I was.”

He laughed. “For what?”

“For not taking a hint!” She couldn’t help but giggle.

“It’s not my fault that you’re 90% sarcasm.”

“It’s not my fault that you have such a thick skull.”

“You are so ruining this.”

“Shut up!”

He leaned down once more, kissing her again. She sighed, letting her arms make their way up his arms and back around his neck. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, then her jaw, then her neck.

She blushed, hard. “Ethan!!” she pushed him up so they were both sitting upright, sitting as close to each other as possible. 

“Cmon, this is the least I can do for catching on so late.”

She smiled at him, then laid her head against his shoulder. “How about we just watch a movie instead?”

He grinned like a fool. “Sounds amazing.”

#hehe #ethan dolan #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan fanfics #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #ethan dolan x reader #ethan #ethan and grayson #grayson and ethan #dolan twins #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins fanfics #dolan twins fanfiction #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins imagines #dolan fanfics #ethan dolan fluff #dolan fanfiction #dolan fanfic #writers #writers on tumblr #fanfiction #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan fanfics #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan imagines

[khhwrites]

Together

Anonymous said:  A scenario with Simon d about him asking you to move in with him, and being all nervous about it.. Thank you!! 

“Are you busy right now?” Kiseok’s voice enunciated through your phone. You gave him a hum in response and shuffled through the pile of papers in front of you. “Very. But my annoying boyfriend is keeping me from getting anything done.” 

“This annoying boyfriend of yours misses you so much, that’s why he’s being so clingy.” He whined. You worked a corporate job. The pay was decent, they took care of insurance and retirement, and the hours were flexible. The downside was that you had to go overseas so often. You practically live on a plane and when you weren’t in the sky, you stayed in hotels. 

“You know, you used to complain about me not giving you enough attention and now that I’m giving it to you, you’re ignoring me.” You huffed before putting your pen down. 

“That was before I started swimming in numbers, these financial statements are killing me. I have a presentation due tomorrow and there’s so much to do, I have to pull analytics and-” Kiseok quickly cut off your rambling. “I can help you.”

Your sweet laugh filled his ears, “Kiseok..do you even know what a financial statement is..?”

“Don’t you think you’re looking down on the ex-CEO of AOMG a bit too much?” He scoffed at you. “Better yet let me just make a few calls and get some people down there to help you okay? The best of the best. You know..the professionals with like a masters in finance and stuff.” 

You got up from your seat a stretched your arms before making a beeline towards the couch and plopping down. “I’m gonna get fired, you really wanna do that?” 

“This is my way of saying I miss you.” You closed your eyes, taking in his deep and scratchy voice that you loved so much.

“Come home soon babe.” You were always on the go. Always. It’s been like that since the beginning of your relationship, you were with him one minute, and on a plane to Beijing the next. And everytime you left his side, he would call and rush you to come back to him. 

“I want to so badly babe. I do..but work is work. And I didn’t want to tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise but I’ll be back on Sunday. I’m staying at the same hotel that I did last time, remember? The one with the fountain?” You smiled to yourself hearing his blissful cheer through the phone. 

“Really? You promise you’re gonna be back Sunday? No take backs?” It was times like this when you wondered if he really was approaching his 40s. “Yes Kiseok, no take backs.”

“Hold on..why do you keep making reservations at hotels when you can just stay with me?” Going on business trips all the time, your company booked hotels for you to stay in, every country, every city. Even Seoul. 

“I just feel like I should have my own space, it’s your house anyways, I don’t want to intrude.” You shrugged, flipping through one of the magazines that were sprawled across your coffee table. “Baby..you’re being serious right now? You stay with me everytime you’re in town anyways.” 

“But still..it just feels weird to me..I don’t want people talking about how you let girls come over and make themselves at home.” Growing up, your parents always were strictly against sleepovers, something about how you have a house, why do you have to bother others and stay in another? 

“But you’re not just any girl, you’re my girl. And you know..if it bothers you that much we can just..you know..prevent them from talking at all.” 

“Prevent them how?” You ran a couple scenarios through your head, trying to figure out what in the hell he was talking about. “You know..like..-”

It was your turn to cut him off, “Please do not tell me you’re proposing to me right now. Kiseok please tell you’re not suggesting we get married right now..all so we can peacefully live together, sleep together..in one bed..with you hogging the blanket..” The line was silent before a loud laugh followed. 

“You know I feel quite offended that you’re so against marrying me. But to ease your anxiousness, no. No I am not proposing to you right now.” You let out a sigh in relief. “Oh. Then..then what were you talking about?” 

“I’ve been trying to get you to move in with me. Just didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding stupid..or creepy. If you don’t like my place right now, we can look for other places.” He suggested, anticipating your response that seemed to never come. “Oh..W-was I rushing it? Am I moving too fast? Sorry I just wanted you to have a place to call home because you always talk about how you don’t one and how your space is always changing. And you basically already live with me already. Everytime you’re in Seoul, I stock my pantry up with snacks and ramen because I know you’re gonna raid it. And I bring up the temperature because I know you get cold but I always seem to steal the blanket at night.” Kiseok rambled on and on as you sat and listened in amusement. 

He was so unpredictable. Who would’ve thought that a guy that looked so cold on the outside, cared for even the smallest details like that on the inside. You were so lucky to have him. Truly. “Kiseok I’d love to move in with you.”

He stopped talking and took a moment to catch his breath, “Wait really? I thought you wouldn’t like the idea.” 

“Why wouldn’t I? When you care for me like that? How could I ever say no to you. Let’s go buy a couple things for the house when I get back yeah?”

“Thank the heavens, I’ve been talking to the guys about this for the longest time and those bastards had nothing good to input.” You smiled thinking of how fun it would be to fall asleep next to him everyday and waking up to his figure every morning. “You know..I’m gonna be gone really often.”

“It’s okay, I’ll just make you into my baby mama and we’ll have no choice but to put you on maternity leave will we?” You could almost hear his smirk through the phone. “Hey, no refusing. Who just said not even a second ago how could I ever say no to you. Do you remember that? Cause I do.” He chimed happily. 

touché

“Put a ring on it first you jerk.” You had to admit, he got you good with that one. “Why is my girlfriend contradicting herself so much today? You were so against me proposing to you earlier and now you’re telling me to marry you. What is it that my lady wants?”

“You want me to live with you. You want me to carry your child. We might as well get married. Hell why don’t I just quit my job and sign with AOMG to become a rapper too.” 

“That’s not a bad idea babe.” You sneered at his comment. 

“If I finish all my work here, all my statements completed and meetings successful, I’ll be a good girl and do whatever you want me to.”

“Done. Sounds good. Sounds great as a matter of fact.”

You smirked, “But that means you can’t contact me for the rest of the week. You’re a distraction.” Victory was yours, there’s no way he’ll cave in. 

“Bullshit. What kind of deal is that. No I refuse.”

“But don’t worry babe, one way or another I’ll get you to be my good girl.” You choked up upon hearing his suggestive comment.

#khh #khh scenarios #khiphop scenarios #aomg scenarios #simon d scenarios #simon d #kiseok scenarios #jung kiseok #khiphop

[jawritter]

A Thousand Years...

Chapter 10

Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave. How can I love when I’m afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away…..

Summary: A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master. – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

A new town, a new job, and a new life, one that you didn’t even expect……

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen Ackles x Danneel

Word Count: 1756

Warnings will include… Smut, language, unrequited/ requited love, cheating, and possibly more. This is brand new, so I will add to it as I know. Chapters will have warnings of their own if need be….

A/N: So my little cousin was watching breaking dawn in the living room, and I was folding clothes in the guest room… When the credits rolled and this song started, this fic hit me right in the face… I couldn’t escape it.

Fic Based on the Song A Thousand Years, by Christina Perri

Missed it so far or just want more in general? Check out my masterlist!!

*****MASTERLIST*****

****SERIES MASTERLIST*****

"Danneel?" 

Sure enough, there she stood in all her glory. 

Jensen didn't let go of your hand, in fact, he pulled you tighter against him, snaking his arm around you while she just stood there like she had every right to, and smirked at the two of you. 

"What do you want?" Jensen asks her, his voice tight with annoyance. His whole demeanor seemed to shift at just her very appearance. 

"I see you've wasted no time in moving your little slut in Jensen. That's got to be some sort of a record. What? It's only been a few weeks?" she sneered at him.

 Jensen was fuming next to you. You could almost feel the anger rolling off of him.

"You've got three seconds to tell me what you want, or I'm calling the cops and having you removed from my property," Jensen threatened, not moving an inch or letting her inside at all. He was practically growling at the woman that was standing there completely unfazed by the rather large and angry man holding you tight against him.

Whatever happened between the two of them, it must have been bad, because you had never seen Jensen act this way. You thought Steve said they were still going to co-parent, and they were still going to run the brewery together? From where you were standing right now it didn’t look like that was even possible. 

"Arrow forgot her blanket here, I came to get it. I didn't expect your little whore to be here already though what a pleasant surprise," her gaze turned to you, and Jensen pushed you behind him, stepping in front of you. 

"Y/N, go get the small little throw blank out of the twin's room. it's the only one hanging over the rail of the bed. You should be able to see it as soon as you walk into the room," Jensen instructed, his eyes never leaving Danneel like he didn't trust her at all.

"What makes you think I want your little fuck buddy to touch anything that belongs to my child?" she asked Jensen, her voice level, but if looks could kill you'd both be dead.

"I don't give a fuck what you want Danneel. You lost the privilege of having an input on what goes on in this house, what I do with my free time, or who I'm sleeping with a long time ago. So Y/N will go get the blanket for you, you're going to take it, and you're going to get the fuck off my property." Jensen's voice was laced with venom, and it even scared you a little bit. You had never heard him so harsh, especially with her, but apparently, he was right about one thing. You didn't know anything. So you kept your mouth shut as they continued to tensely bicker at the front door while you went to get Arrow her blanket. 

You knew this wasn't going to be easy, whatever this was between yourself and Jensen, but whatever this was just got a whole lot harder, not only did he have three children, but a soon to be ex-wife. You knew you were going to have to find out what went down between the two of them really, but today was not that day. You were still feeling a little vulnerable and confused from last night's events, and you didn't want to go there, not even a little. 

Once you'd retrieved the blanket you made your way downstairs, things had grown eerily silent, and you wondered if he'd knocked her out or something because by the time you went to the twin's room you could hear them yelling at each other. 

When you made your way to the front door they were both still standing. Danneel looked as if she wanted to murder not only him, but you as well, and Jensen just looked every bit of done you could imagine. 

About the time that your foot hit the floor next to the stair, and Jensen turned his head slightly to look at you, Danneel reached up without warning and hit him hard enough in the face to make him take a step back, grabbing the side of his face. 

You were momentarily so shocked that all you could do was freeze. Before you had a chance to register what came next Jensen came over to where you were standing, grabbing the blanket from your hands he threw it in Danneel's face. 

"Anything else you want to pack out of this house will only be done under court order, and know this bitch, I will see my kids again; you can't keep them from me. You will be hearing from my lawyer no later than tomorrow. Your nothing but a lying little whore. You said we were going to do this civilly, and not get the courts too heavily involved for the children's sake, but here you are, nothing to do but stir the pot until we're standing here. This isn't all my fault Danneel remember that. You have 24 hours to change your mind, which if you were smart you would stand down, and bring those kids to see me next weekend. If not you WILL regret it." 

Not giving her a chance to argue back Jensen slammed the door in her face, leaning against the door frame with his back to you, and his shoulders squared. You wanted to reach out to him, comfort him in some way, but you didn't know exactly what your place here was, and you didn't want to cross any sort of lines. 

"Jensen?" you said, slowly taking a step towards him cautiously, keeping your distance. Upon the sound of your voice, Jensen let go of the door frame, turning to face you, leaning his back against the door. 

"Hey." 

"Hey." 

"Are you okay?" you ask him, so angry now you were shaking a little when you wrapped your arms around his waist, taking into account for the first time how thin he really was. 

"I'm okay. I just... I need a few minutes by myself okay? I have to make a phone call. Why don't you go get settled in, and put on something a little more comfortable? Then we will settle down with a movie or something and do nothing for the rest of the day. That sound okay?" he asked you. 

The unreadable look on his face made you uneasy, but you didn't really know him well enough to know if he was telling the truth about being okay or not, so you just nodded and made your way to your room with your mind a thousand miles away from the room you were standing in as you changed into some of your favorite PJ pants, and an oversized T-shirt. 

You couldn't believe she had the gaw to hit him and to do it when he wasn't even looking at her. It made you really wonder about this marriage. What really happened here? Was that the first time she'd ever hit him? Was she abusive? How do you handle that if she was? I mean you, didn't exactly come out of the world's most healthy relationship yourself, but your ex had never hit you. He was manipulative and controlling, but he never raised his hand to you.

You didn't want to ask him. You two had already got whatever this was off to a rough start. Between him kissing you while still being married to Danneel. Then coming over to your apartment to give you a whole fucking car. Then fucking you against the back wall of the taproom. You didn't need to add abuse to this too. 

Then it made you wonder if that was what was wrong with him all along. He told you in your apartment the morning he gave you the car that you didn't know everything you needed to know about that marriage. That you didn't know what you thought you did. 

You felt like a boulder had been sat down in the pit of your stomach. You couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt him?  Was he at your apartment that morning trying to reach out for help, and you pushed him away? Sitting down on the foot of your bed after you put the last shirt in the dresser that you'd bought from your apartment you wanted to kick yourself. 

Your mind was racing. Now that you saw it happen it was all very clear to you now. He was so thin... You had watched enough Supernatural by now and watched enough cons on youtube to see that he wasn't always that thin. 

He had gotten hard over the years. You thought it was just an act, part of the character that he played, that doing it at cons to entertain the fans. But what if it wasn't?

A knock on your door made you nearly jump out of your skin. 

"Y/n! You okay baby?" he called to you through the door, and you hurried to the door to open it for him. 

"Hey, sorry, I was putting some things away before I came down," you told him, stepping out into the hall with him. He'd changed into his PJ's and a black henley. The first thought that crossed your mind was, “God he was so thin,” but you shoved it down because you couldn't tell at this point if you were just being paranoid, or if you were making something out of nothing because of what you just witnessed. 

Maybe that was the first time that ever happened. Sometimes when couples split up things get more heated than they ever did before. That doesn't make it right, but he may be thin for a role he's playing, and you're just making all this up. 

Jensen always carried himself in any way that wasn't vulnerable. Could you be searching for something that wasn't there? 

Whatever was going on here, you made your mind up as you lay on the couch with him, his arms around you, holding you tight to his chest as whatever he'd turned on Netflix played, that you weren't going to judge or jump to conclusions. 

You were both two messed up individuals, that much was becoming apparent. Maybe that’s why you were so drawn to each other. You needed each other.

Whatever happened to him with her, when he was ready he'd tell you, and whatever was going on you'd be there for him. 

Because regardless of whatever happened here between them, and however messed up it was that the two of you were lying here right now with his arms wrapped around you. It felt right like you belonged right here all along. You’d deal with whatever came your way. You just needed him to be okay, an for once you wanted both of you to be happy.

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[moonlightpirate]

Chapter 5

Alright time for chapter 5 guys! Gavin is in midsomer trying to figure out why and who could have taken Elizabeth. I would appreciate reblogs and feedback! 

Taglist: @bluesfortheredj @neptunium134 @aureatemoonshine let me know if you’d like to be added or removed :) 

If a refresher is needed here’s Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three and Chapter Four

The old lady chuckled as she strolled into the building, satisfied her plan was being set in motion. She approached the room they were holding Elizabeth in, “Any word regarding her father?” she inquired. “Yeah apparently he’s on his way, should be here before the day is out.” Vince replied. “Can’t believe it took them this long to call him.” Scoffed Simone. They all froze as Elizabeth began to stir. “Well hello miss Elizabeth. Wake up and join in our conversation would you?” cooed the old lady. Elizabeth groaned, trying to focus, and see who was talking to her. “Where am I? Who are you? What’s going on?” Elizabeth asked, panic starting to set in as she woke up more and realized she was tied up. “Oh don’t you worry about where you are dear, that’s not really relevant. As to what’s going on, well essentially we are seeking revenge on your father for what he has done to us.” The old lady chuckled. “But why take me then?” Elizabeth asked, starting to cry. “All in due time my dear. But first, don’t you want to know who we are?” The woman replied, maliciously.

Gavin burst through the doors of the Causton police department. He dashed down the all too familiar hallway towards the investigation department. “What do you guys have? Anything new to tell me?” Gavin demanded, as he went into the investigation department. “Good to see you as well Gavin. We don’t have too much new unfortunately.” John retorted. The man sitting behind John stood up, “Well, we do know they used chloroform to knock her unconscious. We believe it was probably so they could take her without too much struggle. Also Elizabeth did tell me about a strange old woman she saw, that she didn’t recognize, who knew her name and that she was your daughter. Also a witness said he saw a couple watching her when she was at the church in Badgers Drift. Oh! Sarah also has a video that they sent her basically demanding you or else.” Nelson chimed in. Gavin looked at the tall strange man who seemed to know more than John before he replied, “ Who are you? Plus what did you mean that there is an old woman who recognized her?”.  Actually seeing Gavin Troy in person Charlie could see how Elizabeth resembled him. They had the same brown hair and blue eyes, she was kind of tall and lanky like him, and some of Gavin’s facial expressions reminded him of the ones Elizabeth would make. “I’m Charlie Nelson sir, most everyone calls me Nelson, I’m Barnaby’s Detective Sergeant. Elizabeth told me that when she arrived at Midsomer she saw a strange old woman who told her how much she looked like you. Plus that same woman knew her name.” “So you’re telling me a strange woman knew my daughters name, knew she was my child, and you didn’t even attempt to look into it? Or find it slightly odd?” Gavin glared at John. “I honestly didn’t think it was anything serious. I just figured it was someone she didn’t recognize.” John replied sheepishly. Gavin sighed as his anger at John began to rise. He was also scared because he couldn’t think of any older woman that lived here who should know that he had a child, or even know Elizabeth’s name for that matter. “It’s getting late, just take me back to your house so I can watch this video. I also want to know more about your witnesses and whatever else you can give me.” Gavin replied, trying not to sound too annoyed.

They headed to the Barnaby’s where they went over where all she had gone and the witness statements. Though after seeing the video of Elizabeth Gavin had to step out into the garden for a moment. He ran his fingers through his hair trying to not get emotional, but that had ripped his heart out. Gavin sat down on one of the benches in the garden trying to process everything when he remembered that he should probably call Cully. He knew he needed to update her but was hoping that she would be able to comfort him. “Oh Gavin I was starting to worry more than I was before! What news do you have?” Cullys panic stricken voice greeted him. “I think I’m going to need your father's input on this one. All I know is it probably has to do with one of our old cases, from what I’ve been told. Oh Cully they sent a video to Sarah and it was beyond awful seeing our daughter like that.” Gavin stated, trying to keep his composure for Cully’s sake, “ Have you told your parents yet?” he asked. “No I’m not sure how to go about telling them to be honest. You know how Dad is, he’s going to want to come help you.” Cully replied. “True, I don’t know if that’s the best idea. Mainly because they already are after me, I don’t want them to decide they want to add him into the mix.” he sighed. Cully started to cry again, “Gavin please be careful!”. “I’m going to try dear. I think come morning I’m going to take Sergeant Nelson with me to retrace Elizabeth’s steps, maybe reinterview a few of their suspects. I suppose I’ll go from there. Honey please go to your parent’s house, I hate the thought of you being alone during this. Plus it will be easier for me to update you and your father.” “Okay fine I’ll head over here in a bit. I’ll have Dad call you in the morning. Love you!” Cully replied, hanging up the phone. Gavin stayed outside for a bit longer before heading back in. It seemed everyone had gone to bed for the night, so he settled himself into the recliner and turned on the t.v.. Gavin pulled out his small notepad that he generally had on him and began to jot down some of his and Tom Barnaby’s cases. He figured that there were plenty of people who did not like him for putting them in jail but there weren't many that he could picture seeking revenge like this. Finally, after several hours, Gavin passed out in the recliner. He awoke unusually early after having a string of nightmares. Sighing, he headed into the kitchen to make breakfast and coffee. He found Sarah already awake in the kitchen, bouncing Betty on her hip, cooking breakfast. “Good morning Gavin! Manage to get any sleep?” Sarah chimed. “Unfortunately not really.” Gavin grumbled. “I am so sorry! I wish I could have stopped Elizabeth from going, or been able to join her!” Sarah’s voice cracked as the cheerful facade faded. “Please don’t feel bad Sarah. Elizabeth is truly a mix of me and her mother, but mostly her mother, with her determination. I doubt you would have been able to stop her. I just wish she would have called and told me about this strange elderly woman. Any idea why she didn’t?” Gavin inquired. “She never really said. But I can imagine it had something to do with John not believing her. Like, oh John didn’t believe me why would my father? I know Charlie and I both tried to get her to call or do something about it, but to no avail. But would you like some breakfast, maybe a shower, before you go looking for Elizabeth?”. Gavin nodded as he started to get lost in thought. They both jumped when they heard the plink of the mail flap. “What was that? We never use that mail flap….” Sarah asked, looking at Gavin confused. Gavin got up to investigate, upon finding a letter addressed to him. Sarah peeked her head around the corner, “Find anything?” “A note addressed to me.”, he replied, starting to open it as they headed back to the kitchen, “It reads Time to retrace your steps and think about your past. Here's a clue, at least we were faithful unto death! Hmmm that’s odd maybe I should get Tom’s opinion on this.” Gavin sighed, “Actually it would probably be better if I just head to the station and look into all my old cases, see if I can find any clues before I call him.”. “Okay I’ll let John know where you have gone whenever he finally wakes up. Good luck!” Sarah replied. Gavin arrived at the station, finding Nelson already there with a stack of papers on his desk. “Good Morning! I got here just a little bit ago and decided to start looking through the cases files of yours and Tom Barnaby’s. Just to see if I could find any clues.” Nelson stated. Gavin was impressed. “It’s like you read my mind, that’s what I came here to do actually. I got a strange letter this morning saying to retrace my steps and something about faithful unto death.”. They spent the next hour going over the cases jotting down notes when Gavin’s phone began to ring, it was Tom Barnaby. “Morning sir.” Gavin answered. “Troy what is going on? Cully arrived last night sobbing saying something about Elizabeth and me needing to call you.” Tom asked sternly. “Well sir Elizabeth has been kidnapped. Not sure who yet, the only clues I have are a couple, an Elderly woman, Badger’s Drift, and something about faithful unto death.” Gavin replied. “Okay I’m coming to help you. Sounds like you’ll need all the help you can get.” John said, with determination in his voice. “Sir please no it’s better if you stay there. They already want me, I don’t want them to decide they want you as well. Please for Cully’s sake stay there.” There was silence for a moment, he knew Tom was stubborn and that he really wanted to help, but he hoped that he would listen to him for once. Finally Gavin heard a sigh, “Okay fine Troy, but I require as many updates as possible. Oh, before I forget Joyce told me a few weeks ago that she heard that Simone and her husband Vince were bailed from jail. So probably best to look into that to see what you can find.” Tom hung up the phone before Gavin could even ask about Cully. Gavin turned to look at Nelson, “Well Nelson I have a different task for you. Look into who bailed Simone Hollingsworth and Vince Perry out of jail. I think it’s time for me to head to Badger’s Drift and look around.” Gavin stated. “Will do sir! Good luck, I’ll give you a call and tell you what I’ve found.” Charlie replied. Gavin decided it would be best to head straight for the church, seeing as that was the last place Elizabeth was seen. He spent most of the trip there trying to remember what case he and Tom had solved there, and if it posed any significance to Elizabeth being kidnapped. 

#midsomer murders #midsomer murders fic #Gavin Troy #John Barnaby #tom barnaby #Charlie Nelson #cully barnaby #sarah barnaby

[eldri-sv]

6 - Aizawa

Kaori Shinsou has always been fascinated by people's minds. She is one of the best students in her Criminal Psychology course at U.A. and - being the lucky girl she is - her professor is not only one handsome dude, but is also working on the case of the serial killer Stain - a case that has been going on for years. As she is about to become Professor Aizawa's TA during the next term, a lot of other interesting cases start popping up all over the country... AU, OC x Aizawa

Trigger warnings: mentions of murder

(possibly incomplete, if you’d like something added, please let me know)

Though I know it must be the killing time

(Echo & the Bunnymen - The Killing Moon)

Shouta Aizawa was waiting for Kaori Shinsou in front of her house. He was early to pick her up, so he wasn't too bothered to be waiting for a little while. He was leaning against his car, enjoying the sun. It had finally stopped raining and the sun thankfully wasn't too strong yet, so it was just right to be outside.

He eyed up the pack of cigarettes that were on top of the dashboard. Aizawa used to smoke quite a lot, but had slowly gotten used to smoking less and less. These days he would only have a cigarette when he felt extraordinarily nervous. And right now, he wasn't outright nervous, but he felt uneasy. There really was no reason for that and that's what worried him. If he had learned one thing while he was working as a profiler, it was that he should be trusting his gut feeling.

Something about the whole day seemed off and he couldn't put his finger on what it was. There was nothing wrong. It was a calm day, except for quite a few incidents around town that needed to get resolved today. None of them really concerned him in any way, though. Maybe it had to do with the lockdown yesterday.

The press had managed to get onto the campus somehow and it had taken hours to take down all their details and send them off. There would be some hefty fines for trespassing coming to them soon, but thankfully nothing serious happened. Except for people being able to get through the tight security at U.A.

It was Yagi's fault, really. Shouta Aizawa would never understand why some people working on the more difficult and high profile cases were so happy to be talking to the press and to be on talk shows, give interviews and whatnot. To him, it was dumb. They were all already putting their lives on the line, working on these cases. Why would anyone try and draw even more attention to themselves? To make it easier for the bad guys? To cause a fuss wherever they went? It was dumb.

"And do the fucking dishes this time, Toshi, I'm not going to do your chores ever again, so you won't get into trouble!" Aizawa heard someone shouting from the house. He looked up, glad to have a distraction from the cigarettes.

Kaori Shinsou was slamming the door shut and walked up to him, shaking her head. She hadn't seen him yet, she probably wasn't aware that he was there. She was wearing a pair of black chinos and a dark red turtleneck. Her hair was tied up into a tight bun, but Aizawa knew it would fall apart within an hour.

"Morning, Shinsou." he said to her, as she was climbing over the gate leading up to her home. She looked up and immediately blushed a little. Aizawa knew that she was fully aware of it, but she did her best to play it off. She finished climbing over the gate (because opening it would have been too easy?) and gave him a smug smile, while her cheeks were slowly turning back to her usual skin colour.

"Good morning, Mr. Aizawa. Sorry, I had to talk about something with my brother before I left the house, he can be really lazy sometimes. I hope I'm not late..." she replied. Aizawa was impressed by her not being flustered at all.

"It's fine. You're early. Let's go." he said to her and walked around the car to get into the driver's seat. He really didn't know why he offered to give her a lift to the Rescue Training Facility. He hated having other people as passengers, mostly because he didn't like entertaining others. He always felt uncomfortable being around most people, because he just didn't know what the hell to do with them.

Kaori Shinsou quickly got into her seat, closed the door and put on her seatbelt without much of a fuss. She held up some papers that were on her seat. Aizawa had almost forgotten about them, but he couldn't really do anything about it now. Anyway, there were some papers for Shinsou in there.

"Sir, what do you want me to do with that?" Shinsou asked.

"Just put them on the backseat or something... Actually, you can look through them, the forms for your TA application are in there somewhere. You can get them and fill them out while we get to the facility, just put the rest on the backseat." he replied and fully focussed on the road again.

Or he at least tried to. He really shouldn't have left all those files on the seat. There was some sensitive information in there. The only reason he let Shinsou look through it freely was because he trusted her not to do anything stupid with what she found. He knew he really shouldn't be trusting anyone, but Shinsou... she was brilliant. Just a few days ago he had almost considered showing her those files anyway.

She was still looking through the files gathering up the papers that she needed. Aizawa mentally scolded himself for getting all of that mixed up. She really shouldn't be seeing that other stuff, especially since her eyes seemed to linger on the pages for longer than he would have liked.

"I... I think I have them all." she finally said and gathered up the other files she wasn't supposed to see. She leaned back and carefully placed them on the backseat, the empty side up, so no one looking in could see anything. So she really did know how confidential and important those were. Good girl.

When she turned back, her hand brushed against Aizawa's shoulder. She smelled like she had been bathing in coffee. He wasn't surprised. Not with how tired she always looked. Sometimes Aizawa wondered if she ever got any sleep at all. She wasn't collapsing, so she had to get some sleep, but it was definitely not much.

Aizawa wanted to focus on the road, he really did, but he ended up watching her take a pen out of her bag and starting to fill out the papers quickly in neat and small letters. Shinsou's handwriting looked as if it was printed, always neat and orderly. He had never seen any of her work look sloppy.

"Okay... I think that's all. Will I put those papers on the back seat, too?" she asked after a while. They had almost arrived at the facility. Aizawa nodded.

"Sure. Go ahead, that way they won't get lost at least." he replied. She nodded in agreement and placed them on the backseat on top of his work files. She looked at them for a little longer than he would have liked.

"Sir, those other files... I wasn't supposed to see them, right?" she asked as she turned back to the front. Aizawa gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"No, that was my mistake. I shouldn't have had them here in the first place. I fully trust that you'll treat whatever you saw as strictly confidential. If anything gets out to anyone, you're going to be my prime suspect." he explained.

"I understand. May... may I ask something, though?"

"You're going to ask anyway, aren't you?"

"Those were letters from Stain, right? And there was one new one that hasn't been published in the news yet. I know there was one that I hadn't seen yet and I follow the case closely. And I know you're working on it."

Aizawa didn't say anything. He really couldn't. Not only because Shinsou should never, ever and under no circumstances have seen that sort of inside information, but also because he still didn't know. At the moment he could neither deny nor confirm whether that new Stain letter was authentic. And as much as he would have liked Kaori Shinsou's input on the issue, it simply wouldn't fly.

Maybe he'd let her have a look at them if he got really desperate, but right now he was still waiting on an analysis from the graphology department. That would hopefully give him a clear answer on whether that new letter was Stain's doing or not. There had been a lot of letters that were simply copy cat letters, since Stain had started involving the press. Some were faked really well.

"Sir? I know you probably aren't allowed to tell me, but... that letter looked pretty real. It seemed to be the same type of pen as the other letters. Same colour, too. Same weird capitalizations..."

Aizawa stopped the car and looked at Shinsou. She had this intense glow in her eyes. It was the same glow he had when Aizawa was presenting the class with a made-up case where they had to profile the perpetrator. This girl had a passion for murder. For getting into the minds of people.

"I can't tell you anything. I'm sorry." he said. And he was. He was genuinely sorry. He would have liked to hear her thoughts, but those files? They were confidential for a reason and they should stay that way.

"I understand. Uhm... why did you stop the car?" she asked.

"We're here."

"Oh. Right." she said and unfastened her seat belt. She got out of the car and stood outside waiting for Aizawa. She looked nervous. Aizawa sighed and rubbed his temples. He still felt uneasy about the whole day. What the hell.

With a sigh he got out of the car and locked the doors. Shinsou was waiting for him, blinking against the sun that was shining in her eyes. She seemed to be a little insecure about the prospect of having to interact with first years. Aizawa felt much the same half the time. At least he had the advantage of his position as a professor.

Aizawa glanced over at the facility entrance. Most of his students seemed to have already made it. He checked his watch quickly and realized that they were just on time. He sighed. Might as well use the time and introduce Shinsou to the class.

"Come on. I think most of them are here already." he said. Shinsou nodded and followed him without a word. Aizawa noticed that she moved extremely quietly. She barely made a sound when she was walking over the gravel.

"Oh look, it's Mr. Aizawa!" one girl with short, pastel pink hair exclaimed and the rest of the students turned around, some of them waving at us. Aizawa was pretty sure that the girl's name was Ashido, but he hadn't been responsible for this class for long enough to be absolutely sure.

"Good morning, everyone. Anyone missing?" he asked them.

"I think Kaminari and Mineta are running late." a boy called Midoriya said. He had dark, fluffy hair that was long enough to start curling.

"Alright. I'll just go ahead and hope they'll arrive in time. As I've already told you, you'll have three instructors for today - me, Toshinori Yagi and our traumatology expert on campus. We'll also have my third year student with us. Her name is Kaori Shinsou and she'll be my TA from next term on so she'll have a chance to see what she's dealing with at that time. She'll be here today just to observe. Any questions?" Aizawa said. He saw how Shinsou was nervously playing with her sleeves. She didn't seem to like to have so much attention on her all at once.

"Alright, fine, seems there are no questions, let's head inside." Aizawa told them, just as he saw two figures approaching. One was tall and had blond hair, the other one was considerably smaller.

"Kaminari, Mineta, you two better hurry up or we'll lock you out and you'll have to repeat this thing next year. If you'll even make it to next year." he shouted at them and they started jogging faster to catch up with the group. Aizawa waited with Shinsou until all of them were inside and then closed the doors behind them. He walked up to the front of the class, Shinsou following with a bit of distance.

"Morning, Anakuro. Class is all yours." he mumbled and leaned against one of the walls. Something still felt off and Aizawa didn't like it one bit. His eyes carefully wandered over the facility.

"Hello, everyone. I've been waiting for you!" Anakuro Hirooki said to the class, expertly ignoring Aizawa's indifference to what she was saying to his class. The kids seemed to be happy enough looking at all of the stuff that was around. There were a lot of different environments simulated in this facility - shipwrecks, landslides, fires, storms - whatever one could think of.

"We're here today to prepare you to deal with different types of disasters and difficult terrains. I'm really excited to do this training with you today!" Anakuro announced with a big smile on her face. Aizawa noticed something else that bugged him. He walked away from his wall and went up to Anakuro.

"Hey, shouldn't Yagi be here already? Let me guess, he went to an interview instead." he said to her. Anakuro's smile faded and she came up closer to him.

"Actually, it's something else."

"Huh?"

"Apparently, he got caught up in some incident at work this morning and can't make it anymore. I think he's still busy either at the scene or with paperwork. He said he'll try to make it before the session ends." Anakuro explained. Aizawa rolled his eyes and sighed in frustration.

"That man is the height of irresponsibility." he commented, consciously ignoring the fact that he had just left extremely confidential files in his car where anyone smart enough to break a window could steal them. And a lot of people were smart enough to break the window of a car.

Well, we should be fine with just the two of us. If we need any extra help, I guess Shinsou can help out. He looked at the students. They all probably had been looking forward to working with the famous Toshinori Yagi. Well, too bad.

"The clock's ticking. We should get started." Aizawa said and went back to his wall, still trying to figure out why the hell he was feeling so uneasy all day.

"Excellent! Before we begin, let me just say one thing. Well, maybe two things, possibly three, four, five..."

"We get it!" one guy in the group said. Judging from the voice Aizawa guessed it was Bakugou. The kid could be a right pain, but he knew from the start he wanted to become a specialist for the bomb squad and if anyone was suitable, it was him.

"Listen carefully! I'm sure you're all excited to get out there and start the training. You should have learned a lot of basics in your classes, when it comes to first aid, securing certain areas and so on. You also all had lots of fitness tests and should know your own limits. Whatever you do today, make sure you do it safely and you don't overexert yourselves. You won't be much use helping other people if you're the ones needing help. Always keep that in mind. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you so much for listening." Anakuro finished with a bow. The students all looked really excited and clapped.

"Right. Now that that's over, form groups of three or four and head into one of the zones each. I'm not going to tell you where to go, you're adults and you can figure this out by yourselves." Aizawa said. Something still felt off. He had noticed some lights flickering earlier and he had seen some of the volunteers who were here to act as victims and one or two seemed strangely familiar.

Something was going on and it made Aizawa even more nervous that he didn't know what it was. He should have had that cigarette earlier.

#inside your mind #aizawa #aizawa fanfiction #fanfiction #aizawa x oc #shouta aizawa #shota aizawa #quirklessau #mentions of murder