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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

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Come Back Home (Bucky x reader)

Come back home

Bucky x reader

Word count: 3,061

Summary: You were getting worse and were afraid to hurt Bucky, but unable to hide it. Instead of talking it out, you ran away. Embarrassed and afraid, you avoid the calls and voicemails from the man you left. But one night, you can’t help but listen to them, and you need to hear his voice.

Warnings: depression, reader blames herself, Bucky blames himself, anxiety attack, lots of tears, lots of fluff and comfort

I actually got this idea from @thelifeof.jana on TikTok, she posts different scenarios with comfort characters and I wanted to make it into a fic.

Tags: @buckfics @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @stucky-on-spiderman @thatfangirl42 @thundering-barnes

A/N: It’s nearly finals week and it is CRUNCH TIME so I’ve been writing when I can, I apologize for the sporadic-ness of it. Thanks for sticking with me!

A/N 2: I left a few things to interpretation, such as a nightmare. Insert what you want, I know everyone has different experiences and I wanted this to be as relatable to as many people as I could. I also left out when y/n gives an address because 1) I don’t know New York and 2) It’s likely somebody’s address in real life so...interpretation.

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Your phone began ringing, piercing the otherwise silent house and startling you

Answer it.

You stared at the phone, taking a deep breath.

Ring

You picked it up and turned it over, closing your eyes and letting a breath out.

Don’t answer it.

You looked at the screen again, seeing the name of your favorite person.

Bucky…

Ring

Answer it

No.

Please, I wanna hear his voice.

I can’t

Ring

Letting a breath out, you put the phone down and sat on the floor next to your bed, leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Then you were left in the silence once again.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, waiting a few more seconds for the next noise. Sure enough, your phone made a sound, notifying you of yet another voicemail.

Another addition to your library of ignored messages.

You picked up your phone, clicking to see the messages you never listened to.

25 unheard messages. All of them from Bucky.

Your finger hovered over them for a moment, allowing yourself to ponder listening to them. But you sighed, closing your phone and placing it back on the nightstand. You couldn’t listen to them. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be able to resist calling him back. And you couldn’t take that risk.

You’d spent this much time without him. Once you heard his voice you’d be spilling everything to him. Just like you used to. Which is why you left in the first place.

Bucky was special to you. He always had been. Despite all the trauma he’d gone through, he was still kind and gentle. He had been the one to pull you out of the dark place you were in at the time. He was always there to talk to you, listen to you, or help you take care of yourself when you just couldn’t anymore. He’d sat through many of your panic attacks and calm you down if you had a nightmare, just as you would for him. He would drop anything for you, you always came first.

And that was the problem.

He did too much for you, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. This man had already gone through so much pain and suffering and was finally getting better. He was going out more and the nightmares happened much less often. You were grateful for the love he gave you, and you loved him more than anything.

Which is why you couldn’t bring him down anymore. So, one day when he was out on a mission, you had packed up your few positions and left him a note.

Bucky,

I just wanted you to know that I love you so much, but I have to go now. I’m sorry.

-Y/n

You had to keep it brief. If you said anything more you knew you’d say too much, and it would only make leaving harder. And if he knew you were leaving because you were hurting too much, he wouldn’t stop until he found you.

Not that he wasn’t looking for you know.

You had rented out a room in the cheapest hotel your could find in somewhere-New-York-City. It was small, it wasn’t the cleanest, but it was fine. You didn’t care, it was functional. Within hours of leaving, your phone started ringing. Not that you answered. You couldn’t, not when you would start crying once you heard his voice.

You got many texts and calls that night.

What happened?

Where are you? Y/n are you okay??

Tell me where you are, we can talk this out, please.

You couldn’t bring yourself to read more than that. You silenced his messages and let the calls go to voicemail, never able to bring yourself to reject a call, instead letting it ring all the way until he got the same voicemail message every time.

Hi, it’s y/n. Leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, have a nice day!

The same fake cheery message every time, giving an empty promise.

What you didn’t know was that on the other end of the line, Bucky was shattering a bit more with each voicemail he left.

Bucky’s POV:

He couldn’t understand what could have happened. Why you had left all of a sudden. He knew you had some bad days, and the first time he had read it he was terrified that you had done something. He usually was able to see when things were getting bad again but he couldn’t think of what he could have missed. When he saw that you had read his texts that night, seeing the word read appear after a few of them, he told himself that you were okay.

Because he didn’t know what he was going to do if you weren’t.

What you didn’t know was that you had helped Bucky just as much if not more so than he had helped you. His nightmares happened less often because you were there with him every night. He was more outgoing because you had dragged him out to those first few bars and parties. He felt happier because he was helping you, and you made him feel safe and wanted.

And then you left.

He couldn’t sleep most nights, worried about you. Most of the nights he did sleep, he dreamt about you and everything that could have happened. He called you every day, multiple times, needing desperately to hear your voice. He withdrew again, only going on one mission when the team absolutely needed him. It was his only sense of purpose anymore, but it meant nothing compared to what you had meant to him

But you didn’t know that. Because you hadn’t opened any of his messages yet.

It was late now, and Bucky was discouraged. It had been over a week since you had left, and his texts had gone unread ever since a the first night you left. It wasn’t a long time. But it was still too long. He decided to try your phone once more.

Ring

Bucky closed his eyes, begging you would pick up, silently knowing you wouldn’t.

Ring

“Hi, it’s y/n. Leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, have a nice day!”

Sighing, he got ready to leave a voicemail. After the beep he said, broken.

“Please y/n. Come back home.”

Your POV:

You sighed as yet another round of rings echoed through your apartment, hearing the notification soon after, notifying you of yet another new voicemail.

You looked at the time. 11:03 P.M.

You sighed, knowing you should get some sleep. But no matter how tired you were, you knew that once you closed your eyes, you would have nightmares again. And no one would be here this time.

You couldn’t deny it, you weren’t doing well. Your appetite had diminished and you relied heavily on caffeine to supplement the sleep you refused to get. Not that it helped your appetite in any way.

You would go through the motions, make it to work (most days) and get through the day just to...get through the day. You weren’t living really. Just surviving. You knew it was getting bad again, some nights so dark you weren’t sure if you would see the light the next day. Yet you couldn’t let yourself call him. You didn’t want to hurt him.

But you didn’t know that you had already hurt him more by leaving than you ever could’ve by staying.

You sighed, knowing that eventually, you were going to need to sleep. Might as well try to. You didn’t know if for sure you would have a nightmare, so may as well try?

That turned out to be wishful thinking.

Major wishful thinking.

You woke up screaming, drenched in sweat and looking around the room frantically. When you realized it was just a dream, you put your face in your hands and felt tears immediately prick your eyes.

When was this going to stop?

You felt your chest contract as you realized the truth. It wasn’t. Not like this at least.

Just over a week and you were already at your breaking point.

Call him

You looked at the time. 2:47 AM.

You couldn’t call him now.

Call him.

You opened your phone and found Bucky’s contact, finger hovering over the name once again. At the last second, you clicked your voicemail inbox instead, scrolling back down to the first one on the night you left.

“Y/n?”

Your breath hitched as you heard his voice, fresh tears pricking your eyes. Not just from his voice and how much you had missed it, but also the absolute panic in his voice.

“Where are you? Are you okay? Why- why did you leave? Please, answer the phone, I need to know you’re okay.”

You clicked on another one from a few hours later.

“Y/n, please, I saw you read the first few texts I sent. Please answer the phone. We can talk this out, whatever it is just - please call me.”

Tears were falling from your eyes, and you didn’t have it in your power or even the desire to stop them. You flicked to another one that was sent a few days later, this one was longer.

“Please y/n,” it started, his voice soft and cracking with emotion. “Where are you? Just - just tell me where you are, please. I need you. These past few days it’s like I hear your voice and then there’s nothing. I miss you so much. I’m nothing without you please....please just come back home. I don’t care what you did or think you did or why you left. I love you. And I could never stop loving you. I can come get you, we can talk this out. Please. I can’t do this without you. I - I’m falling apart.”

You were now sobbing as you flicked over to your text messages and clicked on Bucky’s name, seeing texts upon texts from him.

One of the more recent one’s caught your attention.

“I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”

Never, never in your heart did you ever think Bucky would think that he had done something to drive you away. Your heart broke, realizing he could be blaming himself for your leaving. It was never his fault. It could never be his fault.

With shaking hands, you pressed the phone icon below his name, bringing the phone to your ear as you listened to it ring.

You tried to control your breathing through the tears, falling apart after a few seconds of thinking you had it together.

Ring

Please pick up, I need to hear your voice.

Ring

I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Ring

Please, I -

“Hello?”

Your breath hitched and your eyes flew open. Your words got caught in your mouth, having no idea what to say. Bucky, on the other side of the line, hadn’t even looked at the caller ID. He hadn’t fully fallen asleep yet, but the tiredness was evidence in his voice.

“Hello?” he said again

“I’m sorry,” you choked out.

Bucky’s eyes flew open and he pulled away his phone, seeing your name across the screen. All exhaustion was gone from his body, and he heard you trying to control your breathing on the other side of the line.

“Y/n?”

“I’m so sorry…” you said again, breaking out into sobs.

“Y/n, can you tell me what’s wrong? Where are you?” he said, panicked and getting out of bed, pulling on a shirt and shoes.

“I’m sorry, Bucky, I’m so sorry,” you said again, not being able to say much else.

“Y/n, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re okay. But I need you to tell me where you are, can you do that for me?”

He waited for a moment while you tried to pull yourself together enough to repeat the address of the hotel.

As you did, Bucky was already out the door and in the car, starting it and putting you on speaker, driving as fast as he could to the hotel and ignoring all traffic signals. It was the middle of the night, and you were not okay.

“I’ll be there soon, angel, can you keep talking to me?

“I’m sorry Bucky…”

“It’s okay y/n. You’re okay. We’re okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

His words didn’t reach your ears, your breathing getting harder to control and your tears fell faster. You had fucked up, this was your fault. Why did you call him, now he knows where you are and you were going to burden him with all your shit again.

He could hear your breathing become labored as he sped further towards your location. He tried talking to you more but he soon realized that he wouldn’t be of much use until he was in front of you. His heart was breaking and he was hoping nothing was seriously wrong.

But you wouldn’t have called him like this if nothing was wrong.

Clenching his jaw, he scanned the street signs for yours, knowing the city well enough to know he was close.

When he pulled up to the street, he couldn’t help but wince at how dingy this place was. It was run down and the smell was putrid. He was so sad that this was where you had run off to. He took his phone, saying how he was here but it fell upon deaf ears. You weren’t calm enough to hear his voice from the phone you had dropped when you had moved to cover your face instead.

Bucky took the stairs 3 at a time, getting to your room in record time. He pounded on the door, trying the knob even though he knew it would be locked. Calling out your name and getting no response, he decided to break the door in. It was barely hanging on its hinges anyway.

“Y/n? Y/n where are you?” he called out, met only with the sounds of your labored breathing. He followed it to your room, where you had curled yourself into a ball against the headboard, hands covering your face as you struggled to breathe.

He walked over to your side, reaching out his hand but thinking better at the last moment. He needed to make sure you knew that he was there, he didn’t want to scare you.

“Y/n?” he starts softly.

You lifted your head and looked around yourself wildly, startled when you saw the figure of a man standing in front of you, trying to push him away. He grabbed your arms and you tried to break free

How did he get in here?

What does he want with me?

Why-

Your eyes settle on his. Light blue eyes, staring right back into yours. You knew them, you were safe with them. Your own eyes, red and blotchy flash with realization and you let out a sob.

“Bucky…”

He took you into his arms as sobs wracked your body, rubbing an arm up and down your back in efforts to calm your shaking form. He was repeating comforting words over and over again. You clung to his shirt as you kept apologizing over and over again, not knowing what else to say - or even how to say it.

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Shh, y/n, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m here. I got you.”

You tried to focus on his heartbeat, steady and strong, as you tried to take deep breaths. Eventually your tears slowed down as you still clung to him, tears drying on your face as you were able to deepen your breathing to match his. His hand still rubbed up and down your back as the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes.

You took a shaky breath. “I - I’m so sorry Bucky.”

Bucky took a deep breath and held her a little more tightly. He could still feel her heart racing. What could she possibly have to be sorry for?

“What happened y/n?”

You felt tears prick your eyes again. Sadness, shame, embarrassment and made you feel sick to your stomach. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you were able to speak.

“I - I don’t know.”

“Please y/n. Tell me why you left.”

“I just… I was… “ you swallowed and let out a shaky breath. “It was getting bad again,” you said, voice barely audible.

Bucky clenched his jaw, angry at himself that he didn’t see it. “Why didn’t you tell me? I told you you could talk to me about anything.”

You screwed your eyes shut. “That was the problem…”

Bucky pulled you back to look at you. “What?”

Your eyes darted everywhere but Bucky’s face. You didn’t want to see the pained expression you knew he’d have right now. You took a deep breath.

“I just… you were doing so well. And I - I just felt so bad for bringing you down all the time. You would drop anything for me, and you were always there and you were always perfect but I wasn’t.” you finally looked at him. “And I left because I realized I was never going to be.” You shook your head slightly. “I didn’t want to put you through that when you were doing so well.”

You looked away, unable to look at Bucky’s sad eyes any longer. Bucky broke the silence after a few moments. “You were the only reason I was better.”

Now it was your turn to look at him confused. “What?”

“You brought me out to places when all I wanted was to hide. The nightmares stopped because you were there to make me feel safe. Every time I helped you, I was helping me too,” he said, voice cracking. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You weren’t too much for me, you never could be.”

When you still looked unsure, he moved his hand to cup your cheek. “It’s okay to let people help you, y/n.”

Tears pooled in your eyes once again. That had been what you had said to him when he began closing himself off, be it an intense nightmare or being triggered. Back when things were bad. Like they were for you now.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s okay.” he whispered, hugging you again. “Let’s go home.”

1K notes · View notes

izukult · 3 years

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haiykuu boys react to a long distance partner surprising them

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, nishinoya, tsukishima

established relationship | warnings: swearing, my fan behavior, why are my head canons so long in this gd it’s like a tiny story without structure

hinata shōyō

-SUNSHINE BOY (i went crazy for this one i’m so sorry)

-you were sugawara’s old middle school penpal which turned online friend

-so obviously you’d heard about his volleyball team and the new first year star players

-and one thing led to another where he introduced you to hinata

-actually you were facetiming suga and you saw hinata and told your old friend you thought the tangerine boy was cute and then koushi “accidentally” put you in a gc together

-you and hinata have been dating for about four months

-you’ve heard everything to a t, including small little remarks from tsukishima to every toss, kill, and miss your boyfriend and kageyama managed

-side note but it’s so cute this boy is so whipped for you if you don’t respond for a certain amount of time he’ll find some dumb excuse to talk to suga just so he can shift the convo to making sure you’re safe

-anyway

-so you’re going to meet suga finally

-like FINALLY you’re so excited

-but you’re also boutta see your boyfriend!!!!!!

-buuuuuuuuuut your boyfriend didn’t know

-so it’s safe to say you were a little nervous about it

-you made suga swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell any of his teammates that you specifically were coming, but he did ask to make sure it was okay to have a semi open practice

-so you’re standing outside the volleyball gym with sugawara, backpack with hinatas favorite snacks over your shoulder. practice had already started so suga was late, but he still stood outside with you and let you prepare yourself

-you felt like you were about to throw up even though that’s shoyo’s thing

-suga walks in before you and you follow shortly after, holding in a sharp breath.

-there he was. standing on the other side of the gym, talking to who you knew as kageyama

-he hadn’t seen you yet, but other member of karasuno had

-”yoo who’s this hottie” bald, flirtatious, you had to assume its tanaka

-hinata was in the middle of jumping for a spike when he saw you, and he froze and fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance

-the gym got quiet at the tangerines reaction, but he was just staring at you.

-and then he was doing that “woosh” run he always told you about and before you knew it his arms were around your waist and his head was buried in your shoulder.

-everyone (literally EVERYONE) was looking at you two but you just laughed and placed a hand in his hair (which, holy fuck, is soft)

-you mouthed an apology to suga and he shrugged you off, and focused your attention back on the boy in front of you

he pulled back just enough to look at you, leaving his hands to rest on your back. his eyes were filled with tears (cute) and he offered you a smile.

“you’re here” his voice was quiet, for once, but it didn’t have any lag this time. and it was so fucking beautiful.

“i’m here.” you nodded, eyes scanning the features of his face. he chuckled lightly, a tear falling to his cheek as he shook his head.

“you’re so pretty.” his voice was watery and he moved his head back in your shoulder before you could utter a compliment back.

-he stayed attached to you for like minutes okay and this man completely ignored the teasing of his classmates.

-eventually you tried to pull him off you so he could get on with practice (and so you could watch him practice) but he refused to get off

-”bubs. babe. honey. you gotta get up”

-”hey hey hey, what about showing me a cool spike?”

-”i am literally asking you to do your favorite thing in the world sho,”

-”new favorite thing is holding you.”

-YOUR HEART

-eventually you did get him off of you and he practiced the HARDEST he had

-after practice he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend even though you’d literally been introduced to them like an hour before

-his eyes stay on you and he constantly tells you how pretty you are face to face and how you smell good and how soft your hands are

-it would sound stalkerish if you werent whipped

-its ok hes whipped too

kageyama tobio

-no idea how youd meet this mf online

-maybe some volleyball forum or like arguing over which setter was betting in youtube comments

-or if you know nothing about volleyball,,,,

-i have no fucking clue BUT

-he doesnt mind long distance honestly

-he doesnt have to get worried about completely embarrassing himself and he never has to make like physical moves

-but he does wish he could hold your hand sometimes.

-but he ignores it🙄

-so you are like obsessed w this bitch u r in love w him🤢🤢

-and ur a good 90% sure he luv u too

-so you plan a trip to him

-you do it all out. you talk to his mom, you find the cheapest hotel that’s perfect distance between his house and his school bc ur just that cool

-and you even make up an excuse to kageyama for why you won’t be on your phone during the flight

-you know he’s gonna be at practice bc you know his schedule cos gf things

-you stocked up on banana milk (aka you brought like four)

-you hit him up yknow yknow

- “hey bubs i’m back<3 how’s practice going?” you’re literally standing outside the gym but you want to make sure you’re not coming in at a bad time

-after like three minutes he texted u “good:). just got done with a practice set.”

-so now you’re going and you’re excited and you’re Nervous

-you open the door and you’re met with a rly tall guy with a headband on

-“hi, can i help you?”

-“uh, is kageyama here?” and he turns his head, and you follow his eyes, and there he is

-and he’s already staring at you

-a ball is lightly held in his hands

-if anyone who didn’t know him saw him they would genuinely think he’s angry

-but it was kinda the same look he’d give you when you talked about things you cared about on facetime

-so maybe that’s love? 😳😳😳

you give him a little wave

-“sup kags”

-he’s just staring

-blankly staring

-which you should’ve expected

-“sorry, are you mad? i should’ve told you i was coming, that’s my bad i just thought i could surprise you and it would be really nice and then you wouldn’t be stressed out sorry-“

-literally why are you saying all this all of his teammates just like “wtf”

-he shook his head quickly and opened his mouth to say no but just continued to stare

-“i- uh- you want to watch me set?”

-you LAUGH. and i mean LAUGH girly and he just turns all kinds of red and you know his team is gonna be on him for that

-“yea! if that’s like, allowed?” daichi doesn’t care so you are literally balling

-you watch him play and like at first he’s REALLY awful like rly bad but then he kind of tunes everything out (i.e. you) and gets back in his groove

-afterwards he comes over to you and asks you what you think and he’s looking at you like this is normal but you can tell he’s shaking and he kisses your forehead REALLY REALLY FAST and mumbles a quiet “i’m glad you’re here”

-he opens up w affection more along the trip

-he appreciates the banana milk. sm.

-from then on out he constantly brags ab having a gf to the team

oikawa tooru

-he suspects smth is up to be honest

-he’s like “ohhh shawty gon do sum😫”

-(he doesn’t fucking call you shawty)

-but to be fair he figured more like you were gonna send him smth rather than send yourself

-surprise again he’s AT PRACTICE who would’ve guessed

-but this time you come at the end of practice because seijoh has like set schedules and oikawa tells you everything so

-you’re just standing by the door waiting for him to come out, ignoring the literal group of girls forming at the end of the hall knowing dAmn well they are your bf’s fangirls

-oh well

-you hear his voice before you actually see him

-he’s giving someone tips on their serves and you hear someone make a snide remark at him and you only assume its iwa

-he’s in the middle of a sentence and he just stops.

-there’s a good couple of seconds where he completely loses composure

-which is not tooru like

-you took a step closer and smiled

-”is this the oikawa tooru fanclub?”

-”nah it’s actually the oilykawa hate club” it’s the same voice from earlier and it’s definitely iwa

-you laugh a little and keep looking at your boyfriend

-”that’s even better”

-he just walks up to you and gives you a real, genuine smile

-pushes a piece of hair behind your ear

-and KISSES u

-EPIC MOMENT GAMERS

-”what are you doing here, pretty? come to see me play? if so, i hate to break it to you, but you’re late”

-you just roll your eyes and kiss him again

-once you two are alone he literally cries

-LMAO

sugawara koushi

-literally the only one who can keep his cool out of all these mfs (aside from tsukishima)

-however, when you show up to his practice wearing the hoodie he sent you like two months earlier, he lost his shit

-you set it up with daichi and everything beforehand.

-(and daichi literally made sure suga would look like a setting genius the day you showed up)

-he had just made a really good set when you walked in and you clapped

-”nice one, koushi”

-he looks at you like 😦 & is just like “you- what- you’re- how- why?”

-lol and then he goes on “not why like i’m not happy you’re here just how”

-and all the third years think it’s so funny to be honest, because typically suga can keep his cool

-he eventually gains his cool and shines you one his signature amazing smiles (which, is somehow better face to face)

-omg he goes over to you and once he gets there he turns to his teammates and like

-”this is my s/o!!!”

-mf is BEAMING

-he’s so happy

-you find out right after he gives literally the best hugs ever i live by that and i will die by that

-he doesn’t kiss you til you two are alone

-and its so fucking sweet and personal he puts his forehead on yours and tells you you’re the most beautiful person hes ever seen

-he is literally so in love w you

-ew

-i love him.

nishinoya yü

-ok he’s so loud

-literally the second he gets a gf everyone knows

-he shows the team pictures of you literally anytime one of them will look

-he luvs u

-he is your BIGGEST fan no doubt

-you make a nice meal? he wants to post about it

-you have a nice outfit? he will put it on his story

-you breathe? expect an “omg baby im so proud of u”

-so when you show up, he reacts the way you expect him to

-so like obviously this man isnt checking his phone during practice

-but he puts his phone on dnd and has you as his only favorite contact

-so you can text him if its an emergency during practice

-you know that, he knows it, the team knows it

-he gets the little ping!

-and he’s out the game

-no one is recovering the ball #peaceout

-he jogs over to check because you never text his number during practice bc you respect his passion for volleyball

-the text just says “come outside:))”

-he’s like wtf?? but bitch gonna do what u say😐

-he sees you and he just yells “holy shit” so loud dude

-daichi goes to call him on his language but steps outside and sees the short libero hugging the person they’d all seen in the photos, he just goes quiet

-nishinoya will not shut up as he hugs you

-he’s literally just hyping you up and asking you literally every single detail about how you’re there, where you’re staying, when you’re leaving, how your flight was, everything

-you just kiss his forehead :)

-literally only good vibes

-you guys have such a good trip bruh

-after you leave he literally just cries while looking at pics of you two together

-^ he took so many pics and vids of you pls

tsukishima kei

-unlike the others, you wouldn’t meet him at practice

-you don’t really know his team, nor does he tell you about them outside of mostly complaining

-you do know tadashi, but like you’ve only talked to him in a gc all three of you are in and never like alone

-you did not tell him you were coming because you’re 100% convinced he would’ve accidentally told tsuki even though he can keep his own shit secret lol

-you just show up at his door when you know he’s home

-and he’s texting you as you’re there and he had actually had a moderately rough day so you told him you were gonna order him food from his favorite restaurant

-which, technically wasn’t a lie you just had to make an extra stop

-you knock on his door (once you’ve prepared yourself because you honestly have no idea how he’s going to react)

-and he opens it ready to give a half hearted thank you to some delivery guy

-but instead his s/o

-he just stares at you

-he looks like a fish

-after like fifteen seconds you decide to try to break the ice bc you are nervous

-”delivery here for uh one…” you pretend to look at the paper, you’re doin a whole skit here “one dumb bitch. are you dumb bitch?”

-he just rolls his eyes and shoves your head

-he walks back but he leaves the door open

-”take your shoes off”

-he’s not even looking at you smh but you smile so fucking wide bc that’s the kind of reaction you were honestly hoping for

-(what you don’t know is he will literally break his whole hard exterior act if he looks at you right now and he is not ready for that)

-you put the food on the table and move to stand next to him

-and after a bit he finally looks at you

-and you look at him

-and you smile

-and he does too,, kind of

-(which is so fucking cute,)

-and you just keep starin at him and bite your lip to keep from grinning

-and after a couple minutes you clear your throat

-”can i hug you?”

-bro he’s so fucking whipped he doesnt even answer he just wraps his arms around you and puts his head on top of yours

-and he mumbles a thank you and its so fucking SWEET

-he does open up more the longer you’re there and u have a very good trip mwah in luv

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127-mile · 3 years

Text

Tales from the front desk: Ten.

Pairing: Artist!Ten x reader.

Genre: Ghost, haunted hotel | Fluff, angst.

Warnings: Non-explicit mentions of death, mention of loneliness. There is a scene where it looks like drugs are being used on the reader, but it is not drugs, just the hotel’s bad atmosphere.

Plot: The Neo hotel opened its door in the nineties, and if at first it was seen as a nice and cheap place to stay, it changed pretty quickly. As intriguing as the hotel is, I do not advice you to ask the locals about it, because they will react in a way you do not want to witness. Fortunately enough, it is easy to know what happened in these walls, what happened in some of the rooms, thanks to a little bird with eyes everywhere.

Meet Ten, the artist whose death is as mysterious as it is famous, he likes to wander around the hotel in search of a new muse.

Word count: +4.8k.

A/N: This is inspired by the fifth season of American Horror Story and the real Cecil hotel. More parts with different members will be posted. I already have 5 chapters ready to be written. Also, this part will be linked with Johnny’s part. Spoiler on the tile: the mafia leader.

"I must warn you," the receptionist says as soon as he steps inside the elevator. "the third floor is known to be a bit hectic, so you might want to change room, which is totally fine." this is not the idea settings you were expecting when you wanted to rent a permanent room at the Neo hotel, but you had no other choice. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"If you say so." he answers, and he cringes at the music playing in the background. He has a love-hate relationship with the way it echoes in the elevator, after so many years, it sounds just like fingernails on a blackboard. "After you." he says when the doors slide open, and you take a few steps forwards, and you wait, backpack hanging from your shoulders.

"This is the fourth door on the right." the receptionist carries the dufflebag and he stops in front of the right door. "I don't know if you have noticed, but the signals is really bad here, so I have to check if the landline is working in your room." he unlocks the door, and heads to the vintage looking phone.

The wallpaper is old, and it is peeling off in the corners, and from where you are standing at the door, you see a layer of dust on the small wooden desk and the dresser. This is probably not healthy to breathe so much dust, and mold, but this is the cheapest place you could find in such a short time.

"Alright, the phone is working," the man starts, turning on his heels to face you. He looks young, way too young to be working in this kind of hotel, when he could fit right in, in one of those fancy hotels. "do not hesitate to call me at the front desk is someone bothers you too much, I'll come right away."

"Do you think someone is going to bother me?" you ask, head tilted to the side and the man shrugs. "I do not know for sure, but the last occupants of this room had some problems with the neighbors. Nothing I could not handle, so do not worry about a thing." this is really not reassuring.

"I'll take my leave then, please enjoy your stay. The bar opens at 8pm, and the roomservice is available at any time of the day, or the night, just press the number 4 on the phone." you nod, and you push yourself away from the door to let the man steps into the common hallway. "Oh, by the way sir, can I ask you for a favor?" you ask suddenly, and the man nods.

"If someone comes in looking for me, could you please call me before sending them?" the man, Doyoung, as you can read on the badge he is wearing on his shirt narrows his eyes. "Are you trying to avoid someone? Are you in troubles?" this is not the conversation you want to have with a stranger, but this is also the only way you can be safe.

"Let's say there is a reason for me to be staying here, when I have a perfectly functional house." Doyoung hums, hands burried in the pockets of his pants. "I understand, and I will let you know. No one will come knock on your door without you being made aware of it, trust me."

"Thank you, sir." you answer, and he smiles politely before leaving. A few seconds later, you hear the creaky sound of the elevator's doors, but before you close the door, you hear him speak, and you wonder if he is talking to you.

"Could you stop following me, you know very well you are not allowed to go anywhere else than this very floor. You do not want me to call the man for the sixth floor to remind you of the rules, right?" you frown, who is he talking to in this patronizing voice? "Yes, that's what I thought. Stay away from me, and from the room 304."

You walk outside of the room when you hear his last words, but the hallway is empty, Doyoung is already inside the elevator and no one is here. Who was he talking to? Maybe to someone peeking from behind their room's door, you think.

You close the door, and do something you should never have done. You drop onto the bed, head falling onto the pillows which sends up a cloud of dust thick enough to make you cough. "Oh, fucking hell." you mumble, straightening up.

When you finally stop coughing, your lungs are burning in a very unpleasant way, and you need time to catch your breath.

After a minute or so, you lie down again, more delicately this time, and you grab your phone from the pocket of your jacket. Like Doyoung had say, there is no signal, and you can't find anything with a potential wifi password on the bedside table like in the other hotels you had the luck to stay in.

At least, you know you will not be bothered by calls, and threatening texts from the person you are running away from. This is a plus, but is getting sick because of the dust really worht the peace that it will bring you? You do not know, you need to weight the pros and cons before giving your final verdict.

After an hour, you realize that the television is not working, which means there is nothing to do in this place. Without internet, you can't scroll down social medials until you fall asleep, so you have to find something to do if you do not want to die from pure boredom.

You get up from the bed, and you open the room's door. You hear nothing but the gentle hum of the air con, so you decide to take the keys and lock behind you. Maybe you can visit the hotel before it gets dark, you do not really want to see thos creepy long hallways bathed in unnatural yellow light.

You wait in front of the elevator when you hear a noise. You can't pinpoint exactly what kind of noise it is, but it is eery. It is like a gargling sound, but muffled by something. This sound is soon followed by a loud thump against one of the many doors, but you do not have time to go and investigate as the elevator's door slide open in front of you.

Maybe it's for the best, you think.

If Doyoung said the neighbors are causing problems, you do not want to be part of it. You are here to hide, and calm down, not ot get into any sort of fights with strangers. You look at the buttons, wondering which floor you should go to, but your eyes stop on one particular button.

Roof.

You press it without a second thought, and you wait.

It seems like as you go up, the music only gets louder and louder, and by the time you are two floors before the roof, you have to put your hands over your ears to try and drown out the disturbing noise coming from the old sizzling speaker.

"This place is fucking hell on earth." you mutter as you finally step out of the elevator. You are not quite on the roof, but rather in front of a flight of stairs that lead to the actual roof. But now that you are here, in front of the stairs, you wonder if it was not a bad idea. Not because you are scared or anything, but because the roof is usually a part you can't access in an hotel. So what if it is locked?

"Fuck it." you have nothing to lose, so you climb the stairs, not daring to put your hand on the railing, you feel dirty enough by simply staying in your dusty room, you do not need more right now. There are more steps than what you would have thought, but it's fine.

And it is also worth it, because you see the chain and the padlock on the ground, and the door is left ajar, held open by what looks like a brick.

With the air con, you forgot how hot it is outside, how hard it is to breath in the stuffy air. But you stay on the roof, and you were not expecting anything, and yet, you are still disappointed in a way. There is nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh, yes, there a huge water barrels on the side, but that's about it.

You walk to the edge of the roof, and you watch as life goes on outside of the hotel. People are walking down the street, some look at the hotel in a curiosity you do not understand, others cross the road to avoid it like the plague. This is trange, but you do not question it, you are not from here, and you know nothing about the hotel, so this is not your place to comment.

"Sweetheart, please, do not add another body to this hotel, we are already crowded down there."

You turn around when you hear a man's voice, sweet like honey, and dripping with something you can't quite describe. "I was not planning on jumping." you answer, and he looks relieved. "May I join you, then?" you nod, it is not like you have other things to do, or somewhere else to be.

"So, what is a beautiful doll like you is doing in a place like the Neo hotel?" he asks, sitting down on the edge of the roof, so you take the opportunity to watch him. His side profile was definitely crafted by the gods, and his long black hair falls prettily on his face, covering his cat-like eyes.

"Enjoying summer?" he pats the space beside him, so you sit down, legs dangling in the air. "You must hate yourself quite a lot to spend your summer in this place. What happened, who hurt you?" it is a rhetorical question, you know it, but you still shrug. "I mean, you are here, so I guess I could return you the question."

"Touché." is all he answers, and you close your eyes. It feels nice to be here, even though you can't help but to think about the man next to you, a stranger who could potentially push you from the roof, straight to your death. "What did you mean when you talked about the body count of the hotel?" you suddenly ask.

"Do you know anything about the Neo hotel?" you shake your head, and he hums. "That's for the best then, do not worry that pretty little head of yours." you are intrigued, and you hate the fact that he is really not talking about it, that's mean, you think.

"I'm Ten, by the way."

You open your eyes, and you turn to face him, legs crossed. "Ten? Like the artist? Lee Ten?" he turns his head, eyes narrowed because of the sun, and the corners of his mouth curve into a smile. "You know him?"

"He was on the front page of every newspapers when he died, and everyone talked about it for a while." for some reason, he looks satisfied with your answer. "Did they find anything about the way he died?"

You watched a bunch of videos about the Ten case, mostly because it was weird when it happened, nothing could have predicted that the young and famous artist would suddenly die in such a mysterious way, and you were trying to avoid your homework at the time. "There are a few theories, but nothing was never actually proved."

"Theories? Fascinating! Tell me more, please?" you heave a sigh, this is not how you thought your first day would end up, but you are not mad about it, you guess it is better than to be locked inside your room.

"Some people said he died of an accidental overdose, some said he killed himself, unable to deal with his sudden success. I watched a video of this girl who said he probably died because of the products he used to paint, that he inhaled too much of the fumes."

"And what do you think?" he asks, head tilted to the side. He looks amused by the conversation, but you think nothing of it. "I don't really know. He was young, wealthy, and I heard that he liked the attention, he liked knowing that people talked about him, so he probably found a way to die whilst remaining in everyone's head, and mouth."

"He did like to be the center of the attention." Ten comments, more to himself than to you. "Do you remember where he died?" you look up at the sky, and you try to think about this detail. You heard it thousands of times, but for some reason, you can't think of the name of the place. You can't even put a face on the name.

"It was in an hotel, I think?" he nods his head with vigor, his smile turns into a smirk. "Does the Neo hotel rings any bell?" you open your eyes wide, and you stand up so quickly that you miss tripping over your own foot. "Oh, take it easy sweetheart."

"He died here, in this hotel!" you exclaim, as Ten stands up too. "He did. At least now I know you are not here to investigate his death, which is a shame honestly. It's been a while since anyone came."

You should have known sooner something was fishy about this place! The name of the hotel did make something click inside of you, but in your haste to get away from home, you did not think about it more. You just thought it was a name you saw online while Johnny was looking for a place to stay during some random trip.

"Wait, how to you know people don't come investigate anymore?" he shrugs, and he walks towards the door. "Let's just say that I've been here for quite a while, and I notice when things change around here." you follow him, making sure the door is still ajar for whoever decided to keep it open.

"Is this why you are here?" you ask. "And is this why you chose this name? Are you some sort of creepy fanboy? You know, trying to be where your fantasy lover took his last breath, to be closer to him than anybody ever did?"

Ten chuckles, pressing on the elevator button. "What if I am?" you stay quiet, and you step in the elevator, Ten doing the same. "Which floor?" you press on the third and he smiles softly. "I see we are on the same floor, that's interesting."

You suddenly wonder if he is part of the troublesome neighbors Doyoung told you about. "Can I ask you something?" you have no time to think about it, you just nod. "Would you pose for me?" you frown, crossing your arms over your chest. "What do you mean, pose?"

"I'm an artist, and I like to paint real people."

"You are really going all the way to be like the real Ten, uh?" the young man smile softly, but he does not answer. "But yes, I have nothing better to do, so paint me like one of your french girl." he laughs, and he leads you to his room's door, which is, the one where you heard the weird noises earlier.

"Are you alright?" he asks when he sees that you seem hesitant to take a step inside. "I- I, yes." you can't tell him what you heard, you do not want to make him angry, or uncomfortable and miss the opportunity to be a little more entertained until bedtime. "Come in!"

The room is bigger than yours, and on the walls, paintings are hung and a shiver rolls down your spine. Each painting has a different person on it, and it feels like they are watching you, they are scrutinize your every move. "What do you think? Pretty good, right?"

Yes, the paintings are incredible, and extremely realistic, but your pain is screaming at you to get the fuck out of Ten's room, and to not return, something is weighting down on your stomach when your eyes meet the ones of a man on the very first painting. "You are really talented, Ten."

Ten is beaming at the compliment, and he indicates a sofa on the back of the room, right in front of an easel. "Sit down, please. And be natural, there is nothing better than being natural." you nod, sitting down and ignoring the cloud of dust around you. He rummages through a drawer for his pain, brushes and a pencil to draw the sketch on the blank canvas.

"You are so beautiful, I could spend days looking at you." he says, not even taking his eyes off of his canvas. "You deserve to be forever on a canvas and admired by everyone." his voice is low, and you see in his face that he is focused on his task.

"How long have you been painting?" you ask, and you expect Ten to stay silent, but he hums. "My mother did not have time to take care of me, nor did she wanted it, so she used to give me paint, and old letters to keep me occupied while she was at work, or drinking with her friends. It was cheaper than a babysitter, so I started really young." not the ideal parenting, you think.

"Have you ever painted?" you try not to move, but it is hard when it feels like you are sinking deeper into the sofa. "I did, when I was in art class back in high school, but I was never good at it. I'm not an artistic person, I guess." Ten scoffs. "Art does not have to be good, or pretty to look at to be considered art. So of course you are an artist, no matter what you think. We all are artists in our own way."

This is a nice thought, and it could help a lot of people who are feeling discouraged. From the corner of your eye, you see a movement, but you do not say anything, you probably just saw a bug or something. But when it happens again, a shadow is looming over the wall, you jump off of the couch. "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" Ten asks, barely looking up from his canvas, he did not notice you getting up from the couch. "The shadow, I saw a shadow!" he laughs softly, putting his pencil down to stand up. "A shadow? This is only the two of us." he says, putting a hand on your cheek.

"Are you okay?" he tilts his head to the side, and you try to ignore how cold his hand is. "Why don't you lie down for a bit? You look ready to throw up." you feel dizzy, but you do not know if it's because of how hot it is in Ten's room, or because of his proximity.

He pushes you back down on the couch, and the way your back crushes against the back of the couch is enough to cut your breath short. "Close your eyes, my sweet little doll, you will feel batter later, I promise." he says, crouching down to face you. He slides his fingers on your face, and suddenly, you do not like his smile.

You want to say something, to get up and leave. You want to call Doyoung, to tell him everything, but you feel so so tired. Your eyelids are so heavy, you can barely keep eye contact with Ten. You do not want to fall asleep here, you are not comfortable, you hate this room.

"I want to go home." you say in a voice so low that Ten has to lean closer to hear it. "But this is home, sweetheart." you shake your head, no this is not home, home is where your husband is. "You said it yourself, you have a reason to be here, you had a reason to leave your house." he kisses your forehead gently. "This is your new home."

He stands up, and he opens his mouth again. "You will never have to run away ever again. You will be safe here, and never will you feel alone between these walls." Ten sits back down on his stool, and he looks at your like you are the eighth wonder of the world. "Sleep, sweetheart, everything will be better when you wake up."

You do not want it, but you close your eyes, and soon enough, you feel the arms of darkness embracing you tightly.

When you wake up, it is to a room bathed in sunlight and with a splitting headache.

You straighten up, trying to ignore the pain and how sore your body feels. You rub your eyes with the palm of your hands, and look around. You are in your bedroom, in the same clothes you came in and your phone is on the bedside table.

You remember falling asleep in Ten's room, and yet, you are here. What the fuck? Did you fall asleep yesterday, and dreamed of Ten and everything that happened after? You do not know, you are confused, but right now, you have better to do than to dwell on a potential dream.

You need some fucking aspirin.

You know you do not have any in yuor bag, so you stand up. Your vision becomes blurry, and your head is spinning, so you wait for a minute or so, and when you do not feel like you are going to pass out on the dirty carpet, you leave the room.

You try to be as quiet as possible, you do not want Ten to go out of his room, whether you actually met him or nit. Maybe he is not even real, you do not know shit right now.

The music in the elevator is too much, you should have taken the stairs, but you heave a sigh of relief when the doors slide open on the lobby.

Like the day before, it is empty, and Doyoung is standing behind the desk. He looks up when he hears the creak of the doors, and he smiles. "Good morning, how was your first night?" you stop in front of him. "Terrible. Awful."

His smile fades, and you feel bad for a second. "Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Did the neighbors bother you? I can go and talk to them, if you want." you shake your head. "Do you have aspirin? I have the worst headache ever." you mumble, and he nods before disappearing in the room behind the front desk.

He comes back with a small bottle of water, and two aspirins that he hands you. "You are my savior." he chuckles, and he watches you chug half of the bottle with the pills. "So, care to tell me what made your night so bad?"

"I had a really weird dream with a guy called Ten." he frowns at the mention of the young artist, so you tilt your head to the side. "Do you know him?" you really want him to tell him that no, he has no recall of a man called Ten in the hotel, you really want to believe that all of this was a dream.

"I actually do. Would you do me a favor?" when you nod, eyes narrowed, he opens his mouth again. "Can you go to the door, and try to leave the hotel? I know this sounds crazy, but I really need you to do it, without asking questions, I'll tell your everything later, I promise."

You do not know why, but you trust Doyoung with his gummy smile and his kind eyes, so you walk toward the front door, and you push it open.

But instead of seeing the street, hearing the traffic noise, you find yourself in one of the hotel's rooms. Not any room. Ten's room.

Ten is sitting on his stool, and his face and hair are covered in paint. When he sees you, his smile brigtens his face in a way you did not know was possible. "Sweetheart! What are you doing here so early? Already missing me?"

How is that even possible? You were trying to leave the hotel, how can you now be in a room, in the third floor? What the fuck is happening? "Look at that! I'm almost done." Ten grabs your wrist, and he makes you turn around to the easel.

You see yourself on the canvas, and it looks sor eal, you think that if you try to touch your face, you'll actually feel it. It is incredible, it is like looking at yourself in a mirror, but it is nothing but paint. "What do you think?" Ten is eager to know if you like the painting he spent so many hours working on.

"This is truly amazing." Ten's smile gets even bigger, and his eyes lit up, and you realize he has not let go of your wrist. "I'm glad you think so. From now on, you will always be with me."

You take a step back, but when you do, he only tightens his grip on your wrist, and it starts to hurt. "The hotel is greedy, you know, so I had to keep a part of you with me. I can't let the hotel have you entierly."

What he says make no sense, but you can't find it in yourself to ask him what he means. "I told you, you wouldn't have to run away anymore, and that you would never be alone either. There are so many people stuck in this hotel, you will forget what loneliness feels like." he sounds so excited, but you can't even pretend to be.

"Are you happy now, Ten?" you turn around when you hear Doyoung's voice. He is standing in the doorway, arms crossed against his chest, and his face is nothing but pure anger. "What is the point of keeping them here, you know very well they will refuse to see you after that, and you will be back to feeling lonely."

Ten shrugs, putting his brush down. "I do not care, I still have a part of them with me, these paintings are special. They are everything I have, and I will never be lonely, no matter if they decide to hide or not."

Ten finally lets go of your wrist, so you do not waste a second to join Doyoung. The man takes your hand in his, and he gently presses it. "Do you want to know something, Ten?" he asks, and the young man nods. "The reason why your favorite refuse to see you after you paint their portrait is simple. They are not hiding from you. I keep them away from you."

Ten's eyes open wide, and fill with tears. "What do you mean?" Doyoung's eery smile is back, and you do not like it, but you do not leave his side. He exhudes something comfortable. "You paint to avoid loneliness. But you deserve to be lonely. So as long as you will keep them here, I will keep them away from you. Be careful next time, I might just burn all of your little paintings, you deserve to feel trapped."

"You can't do that!" Ten yells, a sob threatening to leave his trembling lips, but a tear is already rolling down his cheek. "They are mine! They decided to be my muses, they have to stay with me!" Doyoung laughs, throwing his head back. "This hotel is mine, and will always be mine, I do whatever I want. And what I want, is for you to be as miserable as possible. You need to be punished. Loneliness is the punishment I chose for you."

"Come on darling, we have a lot of things to talk about, and I will also find you a better room because it seems like you are going to stay a little longer than planned." he leaves the bedroom and closes the door behind him. But you can still hear Ten's loud cries. "Do not worry, you'll never have to see Ten ever again, or at least until he decides to act like a normal human being again."

#nct #wayv #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios

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thran-duils · 3 years

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Dubious Representation (P.3)

Title: Dubious Representation (Part Three) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Hank Palmer. Reader’s husband is facing jail time and although Hank Palmer entered the counsel for pro bono, he is still going to get a form of payment. Recently single, he’s been lonely and he’s looking for some comfort. Even if it means obtaining it from less than savory means. Words: 2,562 Warnings (for entire fic): Eventual smut, sexual coercion, infidelity, mention of past domestic violence, verbal abuse Author’s Note: Decided on four parts... LOL

Part Two || Part Four || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Rich turned on Hank the moment the guilty verdict came through. He had been torn apart in court, Warner using the domestic violence charges to completely wipe Hank’s defense that Rich had been protecting Y/N off the board completely. What jury would think a man who had no issue hitting his wife around would have virtuous means to protect her? No, he was painted as a man protecting what he saw as property. Hank had objected to that comment which the judge sustained but it had already been said and swayed the jury all the way.

“You were supposed to get me out of this!” Rich snapped at him.

“No one was going to get you out of this, don’t kid yourself. And hey, I lost a case for free, so you don’t even have to worry about paying me for wasting my goddamn time,” Hank spat back in hushed tones, picking up his stuff.

Rich looked like he wanted to punch Hank, but the sheriff was already there putting his cuffs on. He instead whipped around to Y/N who was standing there. Her knuckles were white with how hard she was gripping the wooden wall between them, tears in the corners of her eyes.

“You---you can’t leave,” she got out. “Ten years, Rich!”

“Maybe if you hadn’t of gotten yourself into trouble by acting like a slut at that party, this wouldn’t be happening!” Rich snapped at her, his anger boiling over at everyone.

Hank was watching this exchange with a sour look, his jaw clenched. Y/N looked like she had been struck and he could only imagine what kind of verbal abuse she faced on top of the physical with him.

She gaped like a fish at him as he turned away from her with a glare, letting the sheriff lead him away. Hank finished putting away his things in his briefcase and stood up, coming in between her and where her eyes had been following him.

“Let me take you home,” Hank said gently.

Y/N focused on him, and it took a couple moments for her to register what he said. “I-I drove.”

Hank picked up his briefcase and walked out of the defense area, coming past the wall to where she was standing. He gestured for her to follow him. She shot a look at the judge who was already moved on. Swallowing sharply, she picked up her purse, she wiped at her eyes, and let his hand come to the small of her back as he guided her up the aisle towards the exit. Hank wanted to strangle Rich for making her so upset; his stomach was tight from the anger swirling at the whole situation.

He walked her to her car. The anger got the better of him and he poured out, “You know if he would’ve told me from the start that he had smacked you around, I wouldn’t have taken the damn case! Do you realize that’s what made us lose this case? Had nothing to do with me! Not even I can make a wife beating dickhead look good! Especially one with a wife who has a squeaky-clean record like you do! He didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. You’re gonna be alone now because of his stupid, asshole decisions! And then he has the fucking audacity to say that shit to you as he’s leaving? If I knew I wouldn’t have gotten charged with assault myself—"

Hank stopped on a dime seeing her lip was warbling.

“I can’t... I can’t... I need another job,” she sputtered, her shoulders slumping defeated. “What am I going to do without him?”

Taking a deep breath to level himself out a little, Hank put his briefcase down on the cement. His hands came to her shoulders, and he caught her attention, peering into her eyes.

“I know this is all very sudden and frightening but just take a deep breath with me, okay? Okay?” She nodded and took a deep breath, him mimicking her movement. It took a few but she stopped looking like she was going to completely lose it. “Let’s get you home. Unless that’s going to be too much for you? Pictures and whatnot at home? Lots of memories to dwell in. Do you want to go to a hotel?”

“I can’t afford a hotel,” she said.

“I can,” Hank told her, sounding peppy. “Here, let me drive you – in your car – over to The Peninsula – great place, trust me. We’ll get you a room for the night or two, order you some room service. There’s a spa. A pool. They’ve got a killer hot tub.” She looked at loss for words and his thumbs caressed, pressing in with the slightest of pressure. “Come on. It’s the least I can do. It would make me feel a lot better about the whole thing. So, even if it’s just for me?”

Hank knew she was going to listen to him when he put it like that. He would not expect anything less from a woman who had been abused for so long. And he was not one to be above manipulating people for his own gain. He did not want her just waiting around when Rich was released from jail and go right back to using her as a punching bag. Oh, he wanted to shield her and protect her from that. From ever happening again. He was going to make sure he was there.

“What about your car?” she asked, and he knew he had her.

“I’ll take a taxi back over here.”

“You’re going to leave me at the hotel?”

“Only if you want me to.” He could see in her eyes that that was not what she wanted. “I can drive my car back over and park there as well. Do you want to do that?”

She nodded and he held in his elation at succeeding at bringing her in; he was good at masking his emotions. He gave her a quick smile before squeezing her arms and letting go. “Come then, passenger side. I’m driving.”

<><><>

The hotel was nice. Too nice. When you heard the desk clerk say that the room was going to be $540 a night, you grabbed Hank’s arm but he ignored you, handing his credit card over. You almost vomited on the spot. That was almost half a month’s rent.

When you got to the room, he told you to take the card the man had given the pair of you at the front desk for the spa downstairs to it. You asked if it was going to cost more, and he told you to not worry about it. When you looked reluctant, he shoved it into your hand and said he better hear about how great the spa was when he got back.

As much as you wanted to be at home, being away was good. You had a feeling he had been right about wallowing at home being in that familiar space after what had happened. Heeding what he said, you headed downstairs to the spa, making sure to choose the cheapest.

He was waiting on the bed when you got back, watching the news. You had been at the spa for over an hour. You noticed he had changed out of his suit and was in black jeans and a button up.

“I didn’t even think about a change of clothes…” you told him, gesturing that you had gotten back into your same clothes.

Hank shrugged and said, “It’ll be fine.” He swung his legs off the bed and stood up. “There’s dinner upstairs. In about an hour and a half. We can go up for drinks at the lounge beforehand.”

You played with the fabric of your sun dress and said, “I thought you said room service.”

“For breakfast,” he told you, snatching up his wallet and keys, his back to you. He slipped them into his jeans. “Dinner is Cantonese. You like that?” You nodded, shrugging. He smirked at your nervousness, and he assured you, “You’ll find something.”

The bar had a plush wall length couch and Hank led you to a table after the two of you ordered at the bar. You practically sunk into the couch. His arm came around the back of the couch, around you and he leaned in.

“So, you know, you’ve never told me what you do for work.”

You stammered at first, explaining your job. He was keeping eye contact, an intensity behind his gaze, listening with rapt attention. He asked questions about it, advancement and mobility specifically. The two of you fell naturally into conversation and it continued at dinner after you finished your drinks. Dinner was on the rooftop and night had fallen over the city. You had said you wanted the cheapest thing on the menu and Hank saw right through that, point blank asking you if the only reason you had chosen it was because it was cheapest. The embarrassed look on your face said it all and he told you to choose what you really wanted. Most of the entrees would cost what both of your meals would cost at a place when you and Rich went out, but you timidly pointed at something that looked good. He nodded and encouraged you to order it along with another cocktail. He was throwing down money tonight and you felt uncomfortable about it but it was really, really nice.

You paid him back the way you knew how. Fingers gripping the blanket, you moaned loudly as he plummeted into you. His pelvis slapped against your ass, drawing groans from him as his cock dragged in and out. He flipped you over and buried himself in you again, ravaging you with rough kisses.

He fell asleep before you. You were tucked up in his arm against his side, thinking about Rich in jail and what he would do if he saw you right now.

<><><>

Hank kept texting you and setting up dates after that. You had been on three since then. He had told you that he was interested when this whole relationship started, and he had not been lying. He had also told you that if you wanted to continue it, that was up to you. You wondered if that was still on the table – not that you were considering it at this point. But he was a man to be reckoned with, that much was clear. He carried himself with such an air of importance and had no problem telling someone their place – that you had witnessed more than once. And it included with you. He was pushy, he liked getting his way. If he did not like something, he would comment on it, and you would fold up. It was how you knew how to deal with conflict in a relationship. And he seemed perfectly content with it, always smiling when you corrected yourself and agreed with his suggestion.

Despite trying to keep him at arm’s length with a casual relationship, you caved on the third date and had let him into the apartment. Having sex in your marital bed had left you feeling guilty.

You feigned sickness the next time Hank texted asking you to go on a date. And then made up a lie when he suggested another day.

Sitting at work, you looked up and choked on your coffee. Hank was walking through the door, tearing his sunglasses off, a bouquet of flowers in hand. His eyes landed on you, and he smiled briefly, striding up to you. Your coworkers were watching with curiosity, and you wanted to melt into the floor. They knew about your marriage and how Rich was in jail. What they did not know about was Hank. Gods, what was he doing here?

“Hank…” you said underneath your breath, giving him an incredulous look.

“Yes, dear?” he said nonchalantly. Heat came to your cheeks, just knowing your coworkers had heard that. He held the bouquet out to you and said, “These are to cheer you up. You look like you’re doing better. That’s good. I was just stopping by to check in on you.” He shot a look over at your coworkers and smiled warmly. “Ladies.” He pointed at you. “May I borrow Y/N for a second?”

“Sure,” one of them, Maria, said, a devilish smile on her face. She was going to want to know everything when you came back in.

You took the flowers from him and placed them down. You stood up and followed him out of the door.

“What are you doing here?” you asked the moment the two of you were out on the sidewalk.

“Can’t I stop by and say hello?”

“Hank, my coworkers don’t know about us. What if—”

“What if what? They tell Rich? That’s very unlikely,” Hank interrupted. You closed your mouth and he stepped closer. “What’s going on? What’s wrong with you?” You shrugged, averting your gaze. His hand came up and he turned your face back to him. His tone was firm, “Y/N.”

You shrugged again, “I feel guilty.”

Hank cocked an eyebrow, “Guilty?”

“We… we had sex in our bed.”

Sighing, Hank’s hand fell from your face. “That’s what this is all about? Look, Y/N, as someone who has been cheated on, yes, it is terrible. But I’m telling you, these circumstances are incredibly unique and different. You did nothing wrong and the person who did is the one who is gone. And he deserves to be gone. You deserve happiness.”

“It doesn’t make me feel less guilty.”

“Then maybe you should just come over to my place next time. We just won’t go to your place. How’s that sound? No room to feel guilty. Whole new environment. Here, you mentioned you like to cook. How about you come over and we make a nice dinner together?” You looked down at the ground and he closed the space between the two of you. He tipped your chin up and said, “In fact, I insist. Tonight. I’ll pick you up. What do you want to cook for me?” You did not answer quick enough and he pressed, “Hmm?”

“Lasagna?”

“Lasagna it is.” He pulled his wallet out and handed over a hundred-dollar bill, shoving it into your hand. “Here, pick up the stuff and text me when you’re home. I’ve got a nice bottle of red wine to go with it. Sound good?” He was looking at you expectantly and you gave him the answer he wanted to hear, causing him to smirk. “Perfect. I’m glad, doll.”

He leaned in and gave you a kiss. He tapped your nose and smiled, “Have a good rest of your day. Remember to put the flowers in water. I’ve gotta get back to the office.”

Hank walked you back to the door and the two of you did not miss two of your coworkers bolting away from the window where they had been pressing their noses again, watching. Hank chuckled and gave you a tap on the ass as you opened the door before he pulled took his sunglasses back off his shirt and put them on, walking off.

You walked back in and they were all staring at you.

“So, he’s wearing a Rolex…” Maria started off.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney @biiskuitx

#hank palmer x reader #rdj character #dark!hank palmer #dark hank palmer #my shit

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twicepinkmeup-imagines · 4 years

Text

Hirai Momo ; it’s you & me against the world... right?

writer’s note : alright ngl this request honestly intrigued me because i was wondering what would actually happened if a surprise went wrong and how heartbreaking would that beeeee!!! ok so sorry if its angsty as hell in the beginning but i promise there’s light at the end of the tunnel hehe

warning : angsty as hell but reward towards the end 🤩

tips : my gay babies, u know i LOVE reading with a music background so TRY IT!!!!! For the angsty part, I was listening to Only (Live from the Royal Albert Hall) by RY X & i’m not gonna lie, it stung a little 😢 but as the angst began to go and the happy part came in, i listened to Canada by Lauv 🥴

words : 4,063 words

xoxo

6 months.

That was how long since Y/N last saw her girlfriend, Momo. 6 months and when she saw the opportunity arise, she grabbed it immediately.

Being close friends with the rest of Twice had its perks. That said, Y/N got a message from Sana saying that she’s got an extra ticket because her mother couldn’t make it and the concert was in Kyoto— right in her girlfriend’s hometown and she couldn’t let that opportunity slip.

Packing and getting ready for the surprise wasn’t that hard, much to Y/N’s surprise. She managed to get the help of all the girls and she urged them to keep her girlfriend distracted until the day she arrived, which was a day before their Kyoto concert.

She managed to bring along Momo’s extra clothes that the other girls had mentioned she forgot to bring and also her favorite teddy bear to sleep at night; ‘Bearing’ from Singapore.

To say she was tired was an understatement but the cheapest flight to Kyoto was only available at dawn and she sacrificed her sleep for the sake of seeing her girlfriend.

Arrival in Kyoto was a breeze as Jihyo managed to get one of the managers to pick her up at the airport but of course, Y/N had insisted to pay for the hotel room herself because they’ve already done so much for her.

What she was scared of, was the surprise.

For some odd reason, Sana had informed her that Momo hadn’t been in a good mood lately as netizens started to spread a rumor regarding Momo dating a non-idol; which is Y/N, obviously.

Y/N understood where Momo came from, as the latter had told her stories about the days she had to go through after her previous relationships had gone public and she felt as if she had brought the group’s image down.

Momo had also admitted that after people found out about any of her prior relationships, she felt a sense of anxiety and sad, because all she ever wanted was to be a human being, who happens to fall in love once in a while.

However, Y/N was optimistic and careful, making sure that every move she made was far from any paparazzis or overly obsessed fans. She made sure to use casual attire too, nothing that was standing out too much.

Not long after arriving at the hotel, she settled down quickly and changed into a different set of clothes before Y/N insisted on taking the cab to avoid any suspicious fans following the van or paparazzis alike. Arriving at the venue was simple but getting through the restricted entrance was another thing.

Y/N was given a pass, an employee pass from the managers, and she knew getting in wasn’t that difficult but then again, she was trying to avoid any pictures being taken so nothing could be blown out of proportions if the worst were to happen.

Thankfully, the cab had dropped her off pretty far from the public eye and she managed to get through easier than expected.

Upon arrival, she was greeted with the group’s managers and also a few of the members such as Sana, Dahyun and Jihyo.

“Oh! Thank God, you’re finally here!” Sana rushed to her, her expression worried and also a bit tired.

“We were waiting for you!” Dahyun admitted.

Y/N then furrowed her brows in confusion and asked, “Why? What happened? Is Momo alright? Did she find out about the surprise??”

“No, no, she doesn’t know a thing but her mood’s been off the whole day for some odd reason,” Jihyo explained, her face laced in worry as she added, “We heard from Nayeon that she’s been harassed online again because someone found out that she currently is dating someone.”

Not knowing what to do next, Y/N questioned, “So, what should we do? Should I still surprise her or...?”

The three girls looked at each other momentarily before Jihyo sighed and gave a kind smile while saying, “Of course you should— I mean, you came all this way to see her; you deserve to see her after all the trouble.”

“But just to be sure, we’ll make sure to go somewhere else when you surprise her, just in case if she, you know, breaks down and rants to you.” Dahyun chuckled awkwardly as the two other girls nodded in agreement.

Y/N sighed audibly with pursued lips as she nodded while saying, “Okay, where to next?”

xoxo

“Momo-ya, can you wait here for a moment? We need to take our shoes from the car.” Jeongyeon said, the other girls fiddling nervously and hoping that the plans goes through.

Momo furrowed her brows in confusion as she sat on the couch with her phone in her hands before she asked, “Eh? Shouldn’t I come along?”

The girls had a temporary panic before Nayeon smoothly jumped in and explained, “Yours is already here but we took the wrong ones.”

Still confused but not really in the mood to question anymore, Momo simply nodded and looked back at her phone.

She misses her girlfriend and the 6 long months that she hadn’t seen Y/N, was really starting to take a toll on her. Nonetheless, after trying to call her multiple times with no success, Momo simply sent her girlfriend a text message.

To : baby jokbal 🐽 [7:31pm]

where are you? 😢

To : baby jokbal 🐽 [7:31pm]

i havent heard your voice the whole day and i feel like i want to cry so please call me back

To : baby jokbal 🐽 [7:32pm]

i love you, miss you and i hope you’re safe 💖

Sighing, Momo put her phone away as she leaned her head back against the head rest before she felt a pair of hands covering her eyes and a familiar voice talking to her.

“I don’t have to call you back because I’m already here, jagiya.”

This caused Momo to gasp in surprise before she stood up instantaneously, looked at her girlfriend who was grinning excitedly at her but for some reason, Momo couldn’t reciprocate the same way.

“Y/N?? What are you doing here??” Momo asked worriedly, making her way in front of her girlfriend before she dragged her away from any doors so no one could barge in on them.

Confused by the cold welcome, Y/N simply brushed it aside and chuckled, “To surprise you, of course!” She giggled warmly before adding, “I missed you and a friend had a spare ticket so I flew over-“

“Why didn’t you discuss it with me first??” Momo questioned, her tone harsh and her lips frowning before she added, “What if someone had taken a photo of you at the airport and it went viral??”

Still trying her best to stay optimistic, Y/N placed her hands on Momo’s arms while saying, “Honey, I made sure no one-“

“How sure can you be???” Momo hissed, shrugging off her girlfriend’s hands from her arms before she huffed, “Why couldn’t you just wait for me back home??”

“Momo-“

“Don’t you know what damage you could’ve done if someone caught us together because of your stupid surprise?!”

Suddenly, the room went pin-drop silent with the sounds of the air-conditioner being the loudest sound there is. The warmth that Y/N was feeling, disappeared as quickly as her smile on her lips. Instead, it was replaced with disappointment and a slight anger.

Y/N looked at her girlfriend with disbelief, her brows creased and her lips finally frowning. Did she really just hear that? After all she did, this is what she got in return? No ‘hi, how are you?’ or maybe, ‘hi, i’m happy to see you’?

“A stupid surprise?” Y/N choked out, her voice weak as she wistfully questioned, “This is a stupid surprise for you? I didn’t sleep and eat just so I could catch the flight to get here and all I get is ‘this is a stupid surprise’? Wow - just wow. So much for a welcome, babe.”

Momo finally processed the words that she had said but that sense of fear she had over the word of mouth, was still overwhelming her. Her eyes had gotten glossy but her eye contact with her girlfriend remained as she replied, “You know how much trouble I went through when I got caught before and I told you that people took photos at times we least expect it-“

“Momo, did you really think I was that careless??” Y/N contended, her tone slightly harsh as she added, “Do you really think that I would be that clumsy for someone to take a photo of me??”

“They could’ve!” Momo challenged, her voice raising.

Y/N took a step back and retorted angrily, “But they didn’t!” She pointed out, her own eyes slowly started to go glossy as she added, “I’m not stupid, Momo! I’ve been dating you for a year, I know what to avoid!”

“We can’t be too sure, Y/N!” Momo rasped out, her tears finally falling before she added, “What happens when they find out about us?? What’s going to happen to us then?? Do you know what they’ll to couples like us?? They’ll rip us apart!”

“Fine, then tell me to leave and I’ll go!” Y/N wept loudly, her tears falling freely as she sniffled, “Just... I’ll book the first flight home-“

“Y/N, I don’t mean it that way-“

“I’ll just book the first flight out tomorrow morning, okay?,” Y/N croacked out, breaking their gaze as she looked down at the floor before whispering, “I shouldn’t have caused such a burden to you.”

“Y/N, you’re not a burden,” Momo sobbed out softly, trying to get closer to her girlfriend but was heartbroken when Y/N took a step back instead. “Jagiya, just understand where I’m coming from; I’m doing this for us.”

At this point, Y/N was emotionally exhausted after having no rest in her system and her entire body was just numb. She understood where Momo came from and she wouldn’t want to wish any of this on anyone but she began to question certain things.

She didn’t want to let Momo go and she understood that Momo just didn’t want her personal relationships to be exposed but at the same time, the selfish part of Y/N, just wanted to be with her girlfriend without having the fear of getting pictures taken because some people can’t accept that idols are still human beings who craves human affection.

She released a shaky breath and nodded weakly while whispering, “I don’t know if there is an ‘us’ anymore, Momo.”

This caused Momo to sob loudly as she took a small step closer while crying out, “No, no, no, no- baby, don’t say that; tell me you don’t mean that!”

Before Y/N could reply, the door suddenly barged open and the laughters of the other girls suddenly went silent as the 8 of them sensed the tense atmosphere in the room.

The 8 of them looked at each other before Jihyo glanced at the couple and realized that the both of them were heaving while their eyes were actually leaving tears.

“Guys, what’s going on here?” Jihyo questioned gently, taking a few steps closer to the couple before she continued, “What happened?”

Taking in a deep breath, Y/N wiped her tears and forced a smile as she looked at Jihyo and rasped out, “Thank you for all the help but I think I should go back to the hotel and let you girls perform without any distraction.”

Momo then grabbed her girlfriend’s hands and pleaded, “Y/N, don’t do this, please!”

Holding back her tears and trying to avoid a bigger scene, Y/N placed a teary kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead before she whispered, “Have a good performance, Momo-ya; I know you’ll do well like always.”

Y/N immediately but gently removed Momo’s grasp on her before she quickly made her way out while her girlfriend constantly calls out her name. The moment the door was pulled shut, the 8 girls immediately made their way to Momo and comforted her as she continued to cry.

“What happened, Momo-ya?” Jeongyeon asked her roommate, sad that she had to see her in this kind of state.

“Do I have to kill her??” Nayeon asked angrily as she added, “Wasn’t she supposed to surprise you??”

Jihyo then hushed the both of them before calmly saying, “Guys, let Momo explain to us what happened first before we jump to conclusions.”

“Momo-ya... what happened?” Sana asked gently as she wrapped an arm around her fellow Japanese before she continued, “Weren’t you happy to see her?”

Sobbing, Momo nodded while saying, “Of course I was excited to see her but— but I was scared, okay!”

Furrowing her brows with confusion, Jeongyeon asked, “Scared about what?”

Momo then looked at her roommate with red eyes as she said, “Scared that someone will catch us! That someone will send those photos to Dispatch and I’d go through this stupid internet bullying all over again!”

The moment the Japanese girl admitted her fears, the rest of the girls looked at each other as they knew exactly where Momo was coming from. This wasn’t Momo’s first relationship but it was the first one where it was involving 2 girls and if her first relationship with a man caused so much chaos— they can’t imagine what’ll the netizen do to her when they find out that she’s dating a girl.

However, the leader of Twice then chimed in, “As much as I understand where your coming from, Momo-ya, don’t push Y/N away because of your fears,” Jihyo reasoned gently as she then added, “A relationship is a two-way street and I’m sure your girlfriend understands the consequences of dating an idol but she did go through all this trouble to surprise you; she even took the dawn flight here because it was the only flight available.”

“It’s true, Momo-ya...” Sana quietly added as she continued with, “I had a spare ticket and decided to-“

“You were the one who gave her the spare ticket???”

“Only because she missed you and you missed her too!” The other Japanese fired back before she reminded, “Have you forgotten the amount of nights where you cried to me because you missed Y/N so much??”

“Sana-ya, you should’ve at least discussed with me first!” Momo replied before she added, “It could’ve taken a disastrous turn-“

“But it didn’t, right??” Sana challenged as she pointed out, “The rest of the girls may not be brave enough to tell you this but I do so here goes; try to be grateful for the fact that your girlfriend flew all the way here with no sleep, just to surprise the girlfriend who she hasn’t seen for the past 6 months.”

Sensing the tension increasing, Dahyun chuckled awkwardly before she quietly chimed, “Sana unnie..” She pleaded quietly before she grabbed the older girl by the arm and said, “That’s enough..”

“No! She needs to understand what she just did to the person she loves!” Sana pointed out while shrugging Dahyun’s hands off and looked at her best friend before saying, “You want my honest opinion, Momo-ya? Yeah, I understand where you’re coming from but it is no reason for you to treat Y/N this way after all she did for you; that girl deserves to be loved the way she loves you and if you can’t provide that... then, you know what I’m going to say.”

With that said, Sana then turned around as she walked away before the rest of the girls sympathetically looked at Momo who was sobbing slightly before Jeongyeon placed a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulders while saying, “We all love you— we are always here for you... but Sana does have a point, Momo-ya.”

“Alright, girls— let’s talk about this later. We have a performance to think about.” Jihyo reminded as she glanced at Momo and advised, “Try your best to distract yourself for the time being.. you can see Y/N straight after the performance and talk things through.”

As the girls slowly dispersed, Nayeon stayed with Momo as she wrapped an arm around her shoulder before the latter looked at the older girl and asked, “Unnie, what do I do?”

“I understand why you’re scared— if it was me, I would probably react the same way but at the same time.. if I was Y/N, I’d be hurt too,” Nayeon admitted gently before she continued, “My best advice is to talk to her slowly and... see where it goes.”

For some reason, this made Momo’s heart ache. She had a sudden rush of reminder of all the words she had said to her girlfriend and she felt so helpless. Looking at Nayeon with the same teary eyes, Momo released a shaky sigh while she contemplates her next words.

“What if there’s no where to go anymore, unnie?”

xoxo

Momo knew that even if she wasn’t in the right state of mind, the show must go on. This was her job and she had expectations to fulfill. That being said, it didn’t lessen the pain in any way whatsoever.

Truth be told, there were many times where she could’ve just cried openly and be as obvious as she can but she knew it wouldn’t help her at all. So, as perseverance were one of the things she learned through her trainee days— she held on as long as she could.

The only time she’d shed a tear is when the group had won an award and they were doing their speech because to any unknown eye, Momo would just look like she was crying of joy.

But the act of deceit needed to come to an end somehow so the moment their performance was done and the ceremony was concluded, Momo immediately replaced her stage costume with the clothes that Y/N had brought earlier which initially triggered her even more.

Thankfully, her managers found out where Y/N was staying at and immediately drove Momo there. Now, finding the room number was the hard part.

Legally, hotels aren’t allowed to give out room numbers or keys without the consent of the customer or with a plausible cause but with Momo knowing Y/N’s full name and showed necessary proof of her connection with the latter, the Japanese got the room number at last.

Momo then asked her managers to wait at the lobby as she went up to the said room. Her heart racing, her body getting increasingly warmer, Momo was nervous and an absolute mess.

‘119.’

The Japanese could only stare at the room number— staying stagnant and not knowing the next move; the right move, at least. She knew that her girlfriend was more hurt than she was angry but that just meant that there was more things to solve on Momo’s part.

She wasn’t necessarily the best problem solver there is but this was her girlfriend; the same girlfriend who has been there for her through her absolute worst and she can’t imagine a life without her.

Taking a deep breath, Momo finally raised her hands and knocked on the door as she prayed that her girlfriend was still awake.

After getting no response for the first few knocks, Momo tried again by pressing the doorbell, following with a few more series of knocks before the door was slowly swung open— revealing a red eyed Y/N who was already dressed in her pajamas.

“Momo?” Y/N whispered rhetorically before she continued, “What are you doing here so late? You should go home and res-“

Momo, her heart immediately reacting to the sight of her broken girlfriend, shed a silent tear as she took a step forward towards Y/N while asking, “Are you really leaving tomorrow? Please tell me you’re not.”

Y/N was weak for her girlfriend— it was just a given when it came to this relationship so when Momo held her by the hands, she was frozen still. Noticing the tears leaving her girlfriend’s eyes, Y/N nodded and weakly said, “....I am. I managed to get a flight back tomorrow morning.”

Saddened by the revelation, Momo moved her hands to her girlfriend’s waist and it hurt her when she could feel Y/N stiffening at the touch before she pleaded, “Please don’t go back.. I’m sorry for what I’ve said to you just please— stay with me.”

“You wanted this, didn’t you?” Y/N reminded, her voice gentle but her tone bitter as she added, “I’m doing this for you, Momo-ya-“

“I’m sorry, okay!” Momo intervened, taking a step closer towards Y/N as she justified, “I’m just scared that— that I’ll lose you if they find out about us.”

Immediately cupping her girlfriend’s face, Y/N released a shaky breath as she whispered reassuringly, “I will never do that you; I will never leave you because someone doesn’t like us together.”

“My previous relationships told me the same thing, Y/N,” The Japanese recalled sadly as she continued, “But when the stress got to them, they took off— just like that.”

Y/N sighed but she understood where Momo’s insecurities were from. She’s heard the whole story and she too, would not want anyone to go through what her girlfriend had went through.

Pulling away slightly, Y/N then grabbed Momo’s hand before she pulled her inside the room, closing the door in the process, as the couple sat on the bed. They both faced each other as Y/N then held the hands of the Japanese as she gently said, “Look, I’m sorry that the idiots before me hurt you with the way that they did, and I can’t promise you that I won’t hurt you in any way but... I can promise you that I will not leave because of someone’s disapproval.”

Scooting closer to her girlfriend, Y/N then softly added, “I’m sorry that I didn’t think this through... I knew how scared you are with all of this and I should’ve at least planned it a little better.” She then raised her right hand before cupping Momo’s cheek and admitted, “.... But I just wanted to be with my girlfriend tonight and watch her perform; I know that sounds selfish but I did make sure that no one tailed me— baby, you have to have a little bit more faith in me. I would never risk your career like that.”

The teary eyes of the Japanese girl spoke volumes as she wrapped her arms around Y/N’s shoulder while she burrowed her head in the nook of the latter’s neck before saying, “I’m sorry... I should’ve just appreciated the fact that you were there when I needed you the most.”

“Speaking of which, the girls told me that you’ve been having a bad week lately... Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Momo tightened her grip as she shook her head and said, “Let’s talk about it tomorrow while we go on a date; the managers gave me a day to spend with you. Now, I just want to cuddle and fall asleep in your arms again.”

Without further ado, the couple got ready for bed as Momo shamelessly used Y/N’s clothes as her pajamas before the two of them laid in bed and instinctively faced each other, like how they always do whenever they’re together.

“You’re still so pretty after 6 months of not seeing each other,” Momo whispered as she continued, “You’re still the same person I love— and I’m really sorry for what happened-“

“It’s okay, jagi, we’re over that— I promise. As long as we’re okay and solved the issue, that’s all that matters.”

Comfortable silence then took over them as they just gazed at each other with pure love and affection. Y/N then placed her arm around Momo’s waist as a small smile formed on both of their lips.

Leaning closer to her girlfriend, Momo then raised one of her hands before she placed them on Y/N’s cheek, gently caressing it as she muttered, “Hey, Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“It’s you and me against the world, right?”

This made Y/N smile widely as she nodded before leaning forward, connecting their lips gently while the subtle fragrant of mint fill their noses. She then pulled away slightly and kissed the tip of Momo’s nose before she gazed into the eyes of her beautiful girlfriend— so sure of the words she was going to say next.

“Yes, baby— it’s you and me against the world.”

#twice imagines #twice scenarios #twice reactions #twice imagine #twice scenario #twice reaction #twice momo #twice #jyp twice #hirai momo #momo

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jamaisvuandyou · 4 years

Text

Please Dry My Eyes: Part 1

Description: Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi have had a running streak of bad luck, but Jin isn't sure what to make of this one: His old friend's trickery that leads to him being the new father of a little toddler, Jeon Jungkook.

Originally Posted: 05/17/2020

Angst: 2,068 words

A/N: First part! As if I didn’t have enough on my plate.

Next Part.

Jin groaned softly, then carefully rolled out of bed so that he wouldn’t wake the other two that were sleeping in his bed. It wasn’t that they enjoyed sharing a room and a bed, but it was all they could afford so they all put up with it.

He went out and looked through the mail he hadn’t had time to look through the day before, noting that the water bill was pretty high. He sighed and rubbed his face, going to make himself some coffee, only to realize that there was only enough for two cups and Yoongi would need both just to wake up enough to get to work.

He got it brewing for the younger, looking through their cupboards to see if he could at least find some tea, but it was his unlucky day. The only tea left was Hoseok’s.

He put the kettle on the stove, then went and dressed for his own day at work before shaking the men awake. “Come on, I put the kettle on and got the coffee brewing. We need to get groceries.”

“Can’t hyung, need to get new shoes. Even the duct tape is falling apart.” Hoseok yawned, and leaned against Jin. “I don’t think I can even afford the shoes. They cut my hours. Again.”

“You should start looking for another job,” Yoongi muttered, trying to hide under the covers, only for them to be ripped away by the oldest.

Hoseok drooped. “I’ve been filling out applications, but it’s like no one is hiring. I’m trying, but…”

“Hey, it’s okay. We know you are. I’ll keep an eye out for places that are hiring,” Jin told him, staving off an early morning anxiety attack and giving Yoongi a glare.

Yoongi winced. “Sorry, Hobi, I’m not awake yet.”

He just nodded, getting up with Jin. “Wait, why is the kettle on?”

“So you can have some tea before work. There’s only enough coffee for Yoongi’s wake-up call. Which is why we need to get groceries so that he won’t be a zombie tomorrow.”

“Did you get some, hyung?” Yoongi asked, looking up blearily.

“I can manage without. You only have an hour until work, get moving.” Jin got up and got his shoes on. “Hobi, make sure he gets out the door on time?”

“Yeah, good luck at work today. Hope you get the promotion.”

“Hyung, I get paid today. I can pitch in for some groceries. Here, I’ll replace it when I deposit my check.” Yoongi scrambled to get the bit of cash he had in his wallet. It wasn’t much and he looked upset at the small amount. “I thought I had more. I’ll get you some extra—”

“Don’t worry about it Yoongi. Keep the extra for your coffee. I know you need it to get through the day.”

Yoongi nodded, but still looked like he felt guilty as he left the room.

Hoseok looked up at him, opening his mouth and then closing it.

Jin put some of the money Yoongi had given him in his hand. “For your dinner. I know you’re going to be home late. I’ll look at the prices of shoes so we can work that into a budget. Take my sneakers for today. I know they’re the wrong size, but at least they won’t fall apart while you’re wearing them. Now I need to get to work. Drink your tea, take deep breaths. It’ll be okay.”

——————

He had lied.

Dear God had he lied. His day went from bad to worse until he was at the store, getting groceries with what little money he had. Aside from his severance pay, it would be his last paycheck and he had to stretch it.

“What do you mean you have a kid and you need me to take care of him?”

“I can’t right now, and his mom is dead. If you don’t take him, he’s going to his grandparents on her side and they’re drunks. Have been drunks. I have custody of him, but I already told his worker that I’m headed out of the country for a semester abroad. I can give you some money to care for him and when you need more, I’ll send it. Please, Seokjin-ah. It’s just for three months.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s almost one and a half.”

Jin was quiet for a moment, putting sneakers that were Hobi’s size into the cart. “I can’t support him. I got fired earlier today.”

“I’ll give you the money to support him. You know I have it. I’ll set up monthly installments so that you can take care of him. Wait, I thought you were up for a promotion?”

“I was. She didn’t like that I rejected her advances. I’d sue, but she convinced the CEOs that she’s a victim and there’s no evidence for either side.” He sighed. “I don’t know. You’ve seen my apartment.”

“Consider it a job, then. You’re a full-time nanny to my kid. Please, I’m begging you.”

Jin sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it. But only because I need the money and because you’re right. He can’t go to his grandparents. What’s his name and when are you dropping him off?”

“I’m not dropping him off. You guys move into my place. That way you won’t get in trouble for having him in a place like your apartment. If you feel bad, you guys can pay rent. Otherwise it’s just going to stay empty while I’m gone. I’ll let you guys stay after as well since I’m lined up to get that job when I get back and I’ll need a different place anyway. Same rent. I can get it put in an official contract. I also want to make sure you’re his legal guardian in my absence. That way there isn’t any trouble if he needs to see a doctor or something.”

“Fine. Should I meet you somewhere?”

“The law firm. I’ll have my coworker draw up the contract and the legal papers to give you custody in my absence. Jin? Thanks.”

“Hey, you’re doing me a favor too, you know.”

“I do know. That apartment was going to collapse on your heads. While I’m at it, I’ll draw up a contract for payment as well.”

“Alright, I’ll be by to sign it in an hour and a half.”

“Make it three? I need to finish something else before writing it up. Thanks again, Jin. I really owe you for this. I’ll repay you. You’ll love Jungkook. You were always good with kids.”

“I only worked at that daycare for four months, so no promises on how good I’ll do with him. He might get messed up.” Jin grabbed the cheapest bag of rice he could, then a bag of beans. “I mean, it’s good that he’s not a baby, because I have no idea how to take care of one of those and he could die but—”

“Jin, you’ll be fine. You’ll probably take better care of him than I can. I mean, let’s face it, you’re the responsible one of the two of us. I won’t have much time when you get here, so you trust me to write it all up?”

“Yeah, if you email me copies, I can look through them before I get there. See you in three hours.”

“Sure thing.”

“Oh, you never did tell me his name.”

“Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. The social worker has him until tomorrow, but I’ll update him and he’ll bring Jungkook to the house tomorrow. I’ll be gone by then, but he’ll have the documentation and everything will be finalized by then. You just need to be at the house, by noon, preferably.”

“Yeah, I can do that. Hobi doesn’t work tomorrow so we can get into the house pretty quickly. You’re sure?”

“Positive. I’m staying in a hotel tonight, I’ll give you the key when you get here. Your account still the same?”

“Yeah. You’re su—”

“I’m certain. I’m sending you some money so you can get some supplies, I have more at the house. I’ve got to go. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.” Jin stared at his phone for a second, then checked his bank account. He shivered at the amount displayed as being added to his account just a minute later, and quickly looked up what toddlers couldn’t eat so he knew what to stay away from. He’d have to remember to ask about allergies. And he didn’t know how he was going to convince the other two that this was all okay. The contracts would probably help, but Yoongi was skeptical of everything and would think it was some sort of scam. Hoseok would just be confused about how he lost his job and then got a job in one day. And once he was done taking care of Jungkook, he’d have to find another job.

He put fruit in his cart for the first time in what must have been two months. He filled the cart up almost completely for the first time in five months. It couldn’t be a bad thing. It was perfect timing.

—————

“What?!” Yoongi asked, dropping his chopsticks and going for his phone after Jin had started filling him in on his day. “They fired you? How? Why?!”

Jin shook his head, nudging Yoongi’s phone out of his reach. “That’s not important. What is important is the temporary job I got.”

Yoongi blinked stupidly for a moment with his mouth hanging open. He dropped back into his chair, shaking his head. “Talk about whiplash: New job?”

“You remember my old roommate?”

Yoongi frowned, nodding. “The law-student.”

“I’m going to be taking care of his kid for the next three months while he’s on his semester abroad. Which means that I have to stay in his house because of the whole custody issue that had been going on the past couple of months, and he said that you and Hobi could live there too. Same rent as here, and we don’t have to move out when he gets back because he’s going to be getting a place near his new job when he returns. We can get out of here at no extra cost.”

Yoongi looked tempted. “What did you do for this guy? Give him a kidney? Or was it more—”

“Yoongi.”

“What’s the catch, Jin? Aside from taking care of some kid.”

“No catch. I take care of Jungkook, we stay in the house. I get paid for caring for him and money to take care of him. We drew up official contracts and lease agreements and I was appointed temporary legal guardian.” He pulled out the folder with the documents. “And yes, I did read them. He sent me digital copies and I read them before I got there.”

Yoongi seemed to ignore that last bit, the room falling quiet as he read through the housing contract, the work contract, and the documentation instating Jin as the legal guardian of Jungkook in the absence of and until the return of his father. His eyebrows kept coming closer together. “Wait, Jin, can I see what he sent you?”

Jin froze a moment before setting the email in front of Yoongi.

Yoongi’s face went slack after a few moments, eyes wide. “Jin, you better call him.”

“Why?”

“Because I think he just gave you everything he has.”

“What?”

“This says that you are the permanent legal guardian of his kid. This is basically adoption and this is signing over all of his assets to you in the case of his death. This is documentation showing how his property will be split between you and Jungkook after his death and everything is dated a week ago.” Yoongi held up one of the packets, pointing to the date. “Even by the signatures.”

Jin scrambled to call his friend, fear coursing through him. Why would he do this?

“Dude’s going to kill himself,” Yoongi said, alarmed.

The phone rang and rang.

Finally, someone answered. “Who is this?”

Jin paused. “Jin, who is this?”

“Officer Choi, can you identify who’s phone this is?”

Jin gulped down a dry heave. “He’s dead, isn’t he? Oh, God, I’m too late…”

“Sir, can you come down to the station?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in half an hour,” Jin replied quietly, then told the officer his friend’s name.

Yoongi gripped his shoulder. “I’ll drive.”

Next Part.

Masterlist.

#pleasedrymyeyes series #bts fic #bts #bts fanfic #kim seokjin #seokjin #jin #min yoongi #suga #yoongi #jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope #jungkook #jeon jungkook #adoption au #parent au #baby jungkook

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starbuck09256 · 5 years

Note

Can you write something about Mulder and Scully that includes some lyrics from "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel for Season 6 or 7? Or even use the lyrics to create a storyline? . Thanks so much. Love, *Lyrics Anon

Fictober day 6

tagging @today-in-fic @suitablyaggrieved

“I get so tired of working so hard for our survival”

Season 7 pre-requiem

He’s been more pensive then usually these last few days. Chewing on his lip, staring blankly above his coffee in the morning. I wonder what goes on in that beautiful mind of his. Wonder what he is worried about, I know he worries, probably a bit more than he should about things. Normally I would let him solve it on his own, give him time to analyze the facts, make the leaps and connections he always seems to find. His worry scares me this time though, we’ve been through so much, now when we wake up with one another I worry that he regrets it, regrets the change we made in our relationship. He’s so quiet this morning, when we first made love it was with such haste with the passion of two souls denying themselves the purest thing they could think of the days that followed were actually practically perfect. We both slept better, when we did sleep that was. Our caseload has been light recently, since we got that one month suspension over the cardinal o'fallon thing, we were still catching up on closing out all the extra paperwork. Mulder would normally do most of it. He has always been in charge of the hotel rooms, rental cars, the papertrail, not because I’m not capable. But because he has and still does maintain that the files are his in a way. He found them started them, got the approvals, got them reopened over and over. He also sees it as a way of protecting me, while it used to piss me off, his explanation was surprisingly well thought out. “If I do all the paperwork, if there is ever any blowback, any i or t or something like that you will have completely ambiguity. They will have no way to cost you your job. You can maintain that you are still just writing the reports as originally directed.” So after 7 years, he is still the first one in the office in the morning. He works weekends, files reports and makes sure we stay as clean as possible when using Bureau funds. Now he has a harder time explaining 2 rooms when one is only used. He has been filling out one form it seems over and over, and yet hasn’t asked me to sign off on it. I can’t imagine his lingering looks are about something so contrite as paperwork. It makes me think he is starting to regret the change in our relationship, that he

regrets getting involved with a woman who could never carry his children. I can’t help but feel the pain of the IVF failure as I leaned against my kitchen counter looking at him. A small tear escapes my lid and I try to turn to look out the window. Inside I’m damning myself for the weakness, he’s been so very good to me, always. I know now he will never ever leave me, he will never find a wonderful wife to give him children, to move to that small town in the middle of nowhere that he wants. He won’t get look into his son’s eyes, briad his daughters hair. I was so stupid to ask him to be the father, but I couldn’t bear it if I had any other children then his, and now instead of the world getting at least part of us living on, we will die without an hier. At least my family as Bill and Charlie their great kids. But Mulder has no one, his hope for Samantha now at peace and I feel so much worse for letting hours of pleasure restrict him from the future he so desperately deserves. I have no idea how to end this though, I have no idea how to live without him. He won’t stop my Mulder, he’s already gone to the ends of the earth for me. And that was before the earth shattering sex we have. Suddenly as if he can sense my sorrow his arms are around me. Pulling my body which is wrapped only in his dress shirt and blue panties against his solid bare front. He kisses my temple.

“Whatever you are thinking, is wrong.” he mutters into my ear, before trailing kisses down my neck and finally resting his chin against my collarbone.

“That’s pretty presumptuous, even for you,” I mutter letting my nails drum on the sink for a second to collect my thoughts, go through a way to rationalize how we have to end this, for everyone.

“I know the last few days I’ve been out of it,” his nose runs against my hair as he gives me more soft kisses.

“It’s not what you think it is, I promise Scully,”

“It’s not?” I whisper even I hear the catch in my throat as I turn in his arms. I trace my fingers over his face, let him kiss my palm, wrap his fingers around mine.

“I need you to sign a very formal form, and you are not going to like it.”

He releases me moving to his briefcase by the door.

“What form?” I ask as I trail after him my bare feet cold against the wood flooring. He sighs heavily rubbing his hand across his face and scrunching his nose.

“You know sometimes, I get so tired of working so hard for our survival.” As he pulls at the form. I can’t help but grin.

“Isn’t that a line in “In Your Eyes” ?'' he can’t help but chuckle.

“I believe it is, Scully.” he laughs a little.

He hands out a very long detailed form, his penmanship is practically perfect.

“Before you sign this, I know what I’m asking here, I know it goes against everything you’ve probably ever wanted for this, for us, please know Scully if there was a choice, if I could keep things like they are without filling this out I would. But we have an audit hearing in 2 weeks, and it is going to be more than messy, if we have this filled out and filed, we could possibly get through unskaved.” His seriousness is disconcerning as I reach out for the form.

It’s an HR form one proclaiming notification of a change in relationship status between partners. I look at him shocked as he looks at his feet. I can’t help but release a slow and steady breath as I sit down at my kitchen table to read through it. He hands me my glasses off the side table sits down next to me his hands linked resting under his chin. Listed are dates, detailed and organized chronologically it requests that we stay partners of course. This is very very serious. I remember when Jack and I dated, how this form was presented and how we had a very long argument about it. Why would I fill out something unless I was positive it would lead to something more, people who casually date each other, that were just fucking do not fill these out. Mulder has filled out dates on this, filled out perhaps far too much and been almost too thorough. I shallow hard, I know of only three other pairs of agents who got together who filled these out. Two of those partners were split up immediately, the last one that was granted, the one that made it, ended in a messy divorce 3 years later shattering 2 adults and their 2 babies.

“You want to give them the exact thing to split us up? Mulder this might be the craziest thing you have ever done!” I’m yelling I know I am.

I’m not going to sign this, even if I know in my heart Mulder deserves to find someone who can give him everything he deserves and this form will certainly help push that plan forward, I can’t. I can’t give up the one person in the entire world who has truly loved me for me. The only person who cherishes every part of me, the man who makes me believe in the impossible like miracles, and soulmates.

“Scully, Scully listen we fill this out, we file it away upstairs it just has to be in the file. No one has to see it. It has to be there, so if…. If hell when they find out that we only use one room. That we only live at one address we don’t both get fired for obstruction to conceal our relationship. We can start just paying for one hotel room, reduce our costs significantly. This would improve our overall budget by 35% Scully, we would be one of the cheapest departments in the Bureau, our solve rate with these dates and the form already being on file prove that we haven’t let our emotions compromise our ability on the job.”

He has my hands in his stroking his thumb across my wrist over and over.

“They will split us up,” I can barely get out the words before tears sting my eyes and I try to rip my hands away from his.

“Is that what you want Mulder? Is this, is it too much, being more?”

I’ve been so stupid my feelings for him have already clouded my judgement on more than one occasion and now here I sit practically devasated. Maybe this was the plan, having me fill out this form so he can see what I want out of the relationship. Use this form to push us into a next step he knows we aren’t ready for this form as stupid as it is basically states that we plan to marry that’s how serious the relationship would be before any agent would ever sign it. I pull my hand away rub my face walk over to the kitchen sink again, hang my head in shame. Shame for having thought I could for a second walk away from him, shame for letting feelings get so deep that our jobs would break us up before we even had time to have an actual first fight. Well here it is, our first and last fight staring us in the face with glossy bold letters including dates of sexual intercourse.

“Scully, I.. I love you, you know that, this isn’t… we… aren’t, I don’t want something as stupid as a form,”

“If it was so stupid you wouldn’t be demanding I sign it.” I know my tone is icy.

I know that my anger isn’t just from a form, it’s from how this looks on a female agent. A male agent can fill these things out all day the implications mean nothing, but for a woman this is basically saying you just sleep around.

“Fine, let them shut us down, over your inability to admit what this really is.” His words harsh. He grabs his coffee cup rinses it out in the sink. Grabs the form shoves it back into his bag. My anger isn’t abating and he knows now the discussion if there ever was one is over. He grabs his leather jacket and all I hear next is the door shutting. I’m still in his shirt the soft blue still smells like his cologne from yesterday. I’ll have to have it launder and given back to him, while I pick up the pieces of my heart.

#mulder and scully #txf fic #myfic #s7 #angst #lots and lots of angst #I wrote this in like 30 minutes #with no beta #on my phone #sorry for typos

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polygamyff · 4 years

Text

38. Part 2

I want to question Maurice if he is feeling warm because of the layers he has on right now but I won’t, he probably feels comfortable, protected this way that nobody will notice him but we are in California and it’s not cold but I guess it is what it is, I won’t say anything but I am judging him. He seems to be very quiet now though, I don’t regret bringing him because I think it’s best this way, I can watch him, I can keep an eye on his wellbeing “are you ok?” I have to ask him, I just feel like something is bugging him “uh, yeah. Just thinking, I am ok though. I mean I am with you so of course I am ok” I cooed out “did you leave boo thang at the hotel?” I didn’t question that “I guess you haven’t really looked in your bag, it’s in your bag at the bottom, she is with us” I gasped “you put her in my bag, you and this damn bear!” opening my bag “I put it deep down, like very down” digging into my bag feeling around for the bear, and there it is “pootie, why?” picking it out of my bag, he just shrugged “it’s cute, don’t you think?” he said, I just sighed out “why do you like this bear so much?” I would like to know because it was the cheapest thing, he keeps it with him “because it’s such a simple gesture, it’s the simple things I like. It comes from the heart, I like that” that is sweet, placing the bear between us, reaching over and taking his shades off “I want to see your eyes Maurice, I feel your warm in this” Maurice shook his head “I am ok, I am feeling a little tired though. Little bit pain in my leg, just getting used to things. I guess” I love him with my whole heart “does it upset you with people react to how you look?” I think it does “look at this” Maurice leaned forward, he pulled up his sweat pant leg, reaching down “I see, it’s dry skin and you have been scratching it. It’s just bled out” lighting touching the spot “I think it’s the effects of the tablets, every tablet does have some sort of effect. But we will get some cream and fix that, don’t scratch it though, try and not too please” Maurice pulled down the sweat pant leg “I am trying to get better for you, I am trying to eat more to make me more fat. I mean like imagine trying to get freaky with this, I couldn’t either” shaking my head at him “stop it, I don’t expect you to be better in a day. Maurice, it takes time. You’re jumping, stop it. It will be special for us, and your dick works so who cares” I giggled “I lost a lot of weight haven’t I? I don’t like it, I look worse you know” grabbing his hand “then I guess nobody else will look at you which is good for me” Maurice laughed out “oh I see your game” I shrugged smiling, now I don’t need to worry about no girl.

Reign has been so quiet, for once anyways. I think car journeys for her she enjoys, they are peaceful, but she is wide awake just staring out of the window. Unlocking my phone “oh yeah, Leon said he can’t come right now so he will see us later on, probably about midnight for him you see” tapping on Insta “that is ok, wait till he seems me, he will be like where did you find this tramp from” he worries on what people think too much, tapping on my explore page “I found him at Davenport hotels” I said laughing “wow, you agree too” squinting my eyes, this does look like Maurice and someone. Tapping on the image “oh” this is Malik’ page “look” holding up my phone to Maurice “that is you and Malik? I noticed your pouty little face” Maurice smiled looking at it, he looks genuinely happy “look how dark I was there, so I remember this. I was just turning nine, I came back home in Texas, but we had another home. I just came back from being in South Africa with my dad, and I caught a real bad tan and we came home, it’s my birthday so my mom wanted to see me. Malik wouldn’t leave me alone, look at my arm. He kept bugging me so I was upset, my mom was like he is little brother be nice but I was being a brat. I wanted to be back in Spain, I didn’t want to be in Texas, boring Texas I used to say. I wanted my nanny, I remember it all because my mom flipped and said I am your mother, and yeah. What did he put?” moving my phone away and looking down “he put, I miss you big bro, I hope you get better. I still love you” Maurice shook his head “he fucked up” he mumbled; I think it is a cute picture “with your face like this, I know where Reign gets the attitude from” I am keeping that picture.

Home sweet home, I mean it’s been my home and I have missed it so much “look at my home” I grinned “your old home, are you going to gather your things while you’re here?” Maurice said, I just took in a deep breath “I don’t think I will get the time Maurice, so I may need to come back again” Maurice nodded his head, he understood. Looking over at Reign “little momma we home now” I’m happy to be home “are you ok to take Reign?” I asked Maurice “for sure” he pulled his hood up over his head as he got out of the car “daddy is coming to get you, you look so cute” I put on her best dress, my mom hasn’t seen her in a while and she bought her this dress that finally fits her, unbuckling her as the door opened “where is my Mi Amor?” Maurice said and there she go, she showed off her gums, she loves him so much “my big girl, you got so tall now” grabbing my bag from the floor of the SUV and shuffled out, quickly grabbing the bear before I got out, can’t leave this now “I left your suitcase just there” the driver said “thank you, can you get the car seat out for me and leave it there also” I asked him, stepping out of the car and kicking the door shut “Maurice come, let’s go inside. I’ll get my dad to get the case” I don’t want him to do anything “but I can, I’ll just take you in” walking towards my house “stop it, I don’t want to hear it. I want you to rest, then later we will get some ointment for your leg” pressing the doorbell “sure, I just think I’m going to cause shit being here, for you anyways” I don’t want to hear it, he’s my husband. Shaking my head in annoyance, the door shot open “Robbie! Oh my god, Robyn!” My mom jumped on me “oh, baby I have missed my daughter so much” hugging my mom close “I missed you too mom, I love you” this hug made me feel some type of way, a little sense of sadness “are you ok?” I asked “I just missed you” my mom moved back to look at me “my beautiful and-” my mom abruptly stopped talking seeing Maurice “you poor thing, Maurice. Is he ok now?” Reaching up and taking his shades off “he is getting there, it’s been hard for us” my mom walked around me and hugged him “it’s good to see you, honestly and my grand baby! Look at you” Reign clung onto Maurice “come on in, please” walking into the house, I’m wondering where my dad is and here he is “oh you back, Robyn” smiling at him “come here” he hugged me “where did the rest of Maurice go?” Shaking my head “stop” moving back from the hug, I am not sure if he was trying to be funny.

Sitting next to Maurice “she is clinging onto you, isn’t she now. Don’t be like that baby, this is my parents” rubbing her back before pushing his hood back and taking off his snapback “we’re inside now Maurice, it’s ok” placing his snapback on my lap “I know but you bought the case in, I can do it you know” fixing his overgrown hair “I know you can Maurice, never said you couldn’t. Just you had Reign” he is very anxious; I feel it from him. Turning a little and sitting back on the couch “it’s so good to see you Robbie, I have missed you so much. It’s been hectic for you, I am sure” I groaned out “trust me, it’s been a mess mom, but I got good news. I have got the job in New York; I mean it was easy. They gave it me like as soon as, I am so happy mom. I feel blessed, so that is a good thing don’t you think?” my mom nodded her head “baby I am so happy for you, all I want for you is the best baby” watching my dad walk over to us, he is looking at Maurice but he can stop now “so you got the job in New York? You’re doing it?” he said, he sat down and let out a big sigh “I am, and it’s the best option for me, for us and Reign. I am happy to move there, I am just sad to leave my city, I love California, but my life is with Maurice, I will…” I dragged out as my eyes diverted towards the TV, I swear I heard Maurice’ name on the TV, my dad would have the news on “with the Davenport business expanding, rumours of Maurice in talks with Hilton which we can’t confirm and his publicist could not confirm, what do you think to Maurice, what was different from his dad to Maurice, the heir to this business?” the reporter asked “what is this?” I asked pointing at the TV “this is the segment on the news channel where they speak on business, I guess I am the topic” Maurice said, letting out an oh “he is fresh blood, he is taking what is his, I think he is coming in hard. If the reports are true about Hilton then boy, he is about to rack in the money. In his own right he is a billionaire, and we can take out the Davenport empire, in his own right he is a billionaire. This is huge for them, I mean why not celebrate and buy a sixty-seven-million-dollar townhouse, this just fuels the rumours, his placement, his vision it’s just brilliant. He has his hands in every aspect of business. He will be in Forbes and he will be putting to shame a lot of companies that are in this hotel business, he is great guy. I like him, he is giving back too. I just hope he is ok, as he has been in hiding. I mean they are in talks in Tokyo, I feel like this young black man is someone we should look too, the whole family. A black family business that made it in Texas, who does that?” this guy is really loving Maurice “do you know him?” I asked, I mean he must do “in passing, I know of him” nodding my head “he praising you Maurice, I agree” it’s nice to hear such positivity, looking over at my dad and he’s like not happy, he is mean mugging the TV.

I turned the TV off, I mean it’s enough of that “we have a billionaire in our home” my mom would say that “he’s just Maurice mom, I think he prefers that” my mom is funny “so you got a home?” my mom asked “yes, I wanted him to not do it. I think he was being silly, but Maurice did it. He got the home in the Upper east side, it’s beautiful. How many bedrooms?” I asked “erm, seven bedrooms but it’s our forever home, I don’t think I would want to move. That is it, it’s safe there” my mom’ eyes bulged out “fancy, can I move in?” I laughed “you can stay with me whenever you want mom, I think it’s hard to you know” I got choked up “to leave you here, I miss you. I miss you just walking into the home, just you. Your vibe settles me, I miss you a lot” my mom rushed over to me “baby don’t cry, Robbie I am always around. Call me when you need me” my mom hugged me “you’re my best friend mom, I love you. I just miss you” my mom kissed my cheek, she cooed out “baby, listen to me. When you need me you call me, I will be right over ok?” nodding my head “I also have some other news, I just need to say it now. I want to get it over with” I don’t want to just hold it off, I just want to say it and get it over with.

My mom looks so nervous “oh you’re pregnant, again aren’t you?” I laughed out “oh my god no, I am not pregnant. Don’t wish that on me just yet thanks” my mom is awful, do I look fat or something “sorry, I just thought you was. The way you said it” shaking my head still laughing “so, my birthday is coming up. I mean very soon, and Maurice and I decided. Well Maurice asked me and I accepted but we are going to do something small and private for now and on my birthday I will be marrying him in Texas, something very just private between us” my dad got up from the couch “a billionaire polygamist marrying my daughter, you marrying him like this? A fucking billionaire that is marrying my daughter on the low, you ashamed of her. Maybe you don’t want people seeing the state of you, you can do so much better, are you crazy? You will be his second wife” shaking my head staring at my dad, getting up from the couch “who is crazier, me or him. Probably him for marrying me without a prenup, this man you’re disrespecting will be my husband whether you walk me or not, probably not. You’re not hurting him, you’re hurting me in this” my dad didn’t know what to say “go on, what next? Yes, I will be his second wife, and his last wife. I won’t have it, no. I am not having you giving him bad vibes when he is trying to get better. You know what dad, I can already imagine it now on my wedding day, your negative vibe. I don’t need it, Maurice we are going to your hotel” I don’t want to stay here “no, you’re staying” my mom piped up “I can’t mom, it was a mistake to think he would do something for me. Who are you, I don’t think I know you anymore dad, not the dad I know, I am not staying here” I can’t stay here “no, Robyn. You are staying, Thomas, you can go” my dad looked at my mom, not even in shock but just looked at her “they are staying here, you can go to your mom’ home where you said you wanted to go anyways” my dad didn’t even say anything “Maurice, maybe I need your advice soon” my dad said before walking off to go upstairs, my mom just smiled at me with a hint of hurt and I can see it in her eyes.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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aahsokaatano · 4 years

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ITALY????

Y’all I spent one whole week in Italy in 2017 and it was one of the most bizarre fucking weeks of my life

let’s break it down from the beginning

[under a read more for length]

So, fall of 2017 I was studying abroad in London. One of the classes I was taking was specifically for study abroad students, designed to get us engaging in the culture of London or whatever i dont really remember the class itself but my god do i remember the people i met in it

two in particular were these girls, also American. We shall call them Molly and Ally. They had quickly made friends with each other, and after one of the class trips into London, i was friendly with them as well. The “reading week” or fall break was coming up, and they mentioned that they were going to Italy and asked if I wanted to go. I had booked a short tour to Dover, but thought “oh my god Italy???? Fuck yes!” and so I bought my plane tickets then asked them where they had booked hotel rooms so that I could add myself to their itinerary

“Oh,” Molly said, “we haven’t, don’t worry about it”

Me, a seasoned traveler “?????? uh”

I bugged them about this for at LEAST a week and finally, about THREE DAYS from when we were supposed to leave, I just went ahead and booked an assortment of hostels and airbnbs for us in all the cities they wanted to go to and told them to pay me back later

they actually admitted afterwards that that had been a smart move on my part which like????? no SHIT its a smart move to have a plan where you’re gonna sleep every night while in a foreign country. god.

So, lets go through this day by day

Day 1 - London to Milan

we flew from London to Milan in the evening, getting there pretty late at night. and it was only once we were actually IN Italy that I learned that 1) none of us spoke Italian and 2) despite having grown up in two areas with large Hispanic populations, neither Molly or Ally spoke a lick of Spanish, which is close enough to Italian that you can kind of limp through a conversation of one if you know the other.

so, somehow, I ended up being our Italian translator for the week, armed with nothing but a translator website, a handful of Italian music terms, and the ability to roll my r’s fairly well for a white person. Literally, i figured out where the bus stop was outside of the airport because I saw the word “fermata” painted on the pavement and I knew that meant “long pause” in sheet music terms so I hazarded a guess it meant stop or similar in regular Italian

(sidenote I almost got in a fight with some random Italian dude on the bus because Molly was going on about how excited she was to try the pizza and I told her it wasn’t going to be the same because “the pizza you’re used to is an American invention” and he turned around and started going on about the tradition of pizza in Italy and I was like I just mean that American pizza is different from real Italian pizza i did not mean to offend i’m sorry!!!!!! anyways)

the bus dropped us in a square in the middle of Milan and we got out and i’m lookin at my airbnb app trying to figure out where we need to go and i said “okay we need to get a cab” and Molly and Ally are arguing about something and this RANDOM ASS DUDE walks up to us and is like “you need taxi?” and i said yes to he leads us back to his REGULAR ASS CAR, NOT A TAXI and tells us to get in, and for some unknown fucking reason I do and Molly and Ally follow me and shut up real fast because this is sketchy as fuck but the guy did take us to the airbnb without murdering us so thats a win i guess

The airbnb by the way was more like a mini hostel - it was this apartment where pretty much every room except the bathroom had been converted into a bedroom and so probably not entirely legal but whatever. whatever.

Day 2 - Milan to Venice

i woke up early the next morning and went to take a shower at the bathroom at the end of the hall and found out that the lights didn’t work. Whatever, I’m mostly blind without my glasses anyways so i just showered in the dark, no biggie

we had an early bus to catch from Milan to Venice, so we headed out to the bus station. I’ll be honest, I do not remember how we got there. I think we walked, because I ended up with a coffee at some point so I probably got it from some cafe on the way? But idk. I was so tired.

We get on the bus, I found two empty seats far away from Molly and Ally, and immediately stretched out and fell asleep.

Ally woke me a little later and said “c’mon, we’re here!”

I was confused as all hell because it had not been nearly long enough for us to get all the way to Venice, but I got off the bus and was greeted by Molly stretching her arms out and proclaiming “Welcome to Venice!” underneath a sign that said we were at the Verona bus station.

They did not believe me when I said Verona and Venice were two different places. “Venice has canals, Verona is where Romeo & Juliet is set. There are no canals in R&J, they’re two different places!” I literally had to pull out my phone, go to google maps, and zoom out until they could see that Venice was still several hours away before they believed me.

The bus driver almost didn’t let us back on but I was able to show him on the tickets that our end destination was, in fact, Venice.

Venice itself was pretty neat. We got to go on a gondola ride and I ate an entire pizza by myself at dinner lmao.

Day 3 - Venice to Florence

we took a train from Venice to Florence the next morning, and that’s when I discovered that Italian train stations have lovely little cafes with AMAZING coffee and really good pastries. The other two didn’t drink coffee but like, their loss. it was fantastic.

Florence was great, we found a little shop that sold really yummy gelato for only 1 Euro a scoop - Geletaria La Carraia. If you ever end up in Florence, definitely check it out!

We wandered around for a while, took a lot of pictures. There was some famous church that was undergoing some renovations, but as we walked up to it Molly gasped and said “I’ve climbed that in Assassin’s Creed!” which was pretty funny.

We went to a museum that had made a bunch of models of some of Leonardo DaVinci’s inventions. We went to an art museum and stumbled across Michaelangelo’s David on accident, so that was the big “wtf” moment of the day. Also that night Molly decided to buy a bottle of wine to take home to a friend of her’s back in America, but realized after buying it that her backpack wasn’t big enough to cart it around for the rest of the week so I ended up carrying an entire fucking bottle of wine for the rest of the trip because I was the only one smart enough to bring a proper backpacking backpack and not just my school bag.

Also the hostel we were in had actual skeleton keys for their rooms and actual goddamn keyholes that one could clearly see through so i left the key in the lock all night AND hung my sweatshirt from the door handle so that no one could peek in at us

Day 4 - Florence to Pisa

once again, I woke up early, went into the bathroom attached to our room (the hostel had had a cancellation and so we ended up in a private room instead of a dorm style) and discovered that the lights didn’t work so I had a second shower in the dark

we took another train from Florence to Pisa, and there we ran into our only bit of bad weather

What’s the big draw in Pisa? The Leaning Tower, right?

What was the only day it rained, non-fucking-stop, the entire time we were in Italy? THE DAY WE WERE IN PISA

I got so soaked that I actually bought a new sweatshirt because the one I was wearing was DRIPPING

anyways, after we had taken several dumb touristy pictures and grabbed an early dinner at a nearby restaurant, we decided to head over to the room I had booked. The cheapest place I could find was a tiny cabin at a campground nearby. According to the map on my phone, it was a short walk away.

A solid hour later, we finally trudged up to the main office of the campground, shivering and soaked, and got the keys to our cabin. We set our stuff down, and Ally and Molly decided to go back out to the grocery store we had passed coming in. I waved them off and went to take a shower in the bathroom with fully functioning lights! hooray!

Day 5 - Pisa to Rome

another morning, another train station with excellent coffee. We got into Rome and, at this point, we were all so tired from travelling that I was finally able to take charge. up until this point, Molly had been railroading us, even sort of bullying Ally in the process, but now she was exhausted and I, through a combination of practice in functioning while dead on my feet, lots of travel experience, and Mom Friend Instincts, took the reins. We got to Rome and I said “we’re going to the church with the big hole in the roof (its a thing, look it up) and then we’re going to eat.... at this place around the corner and then we’re going to to go our hostel and check in”

they didn’t argue, and that’s a true testament to how fucking tired the two of them were, especially Molly, because she would argue about anything and everything given half a chance. We also went to the military museum that day, mostly because it was free and also air conditioned

(also while looking through my pictures of this trip i just discovered that i still have the picture i took of the Rome hostel FAQ page that had by the front desk, which i now remember i did because it had the wifi password on it and we weren’t in our room for 30 seconds before one of the other two asked what the wifi password was so, once again, i show that i am a very good traveler/travelling buddy)

Day 6 - Rome

so we had the next full day in Rome, and we got up early to get in line for the Vatican. I wanted to be there by 7am, Molly was like “it doesn’t even open until 9!” and we compromised at 8 and it was STILL an enormous line so i was like “see? this is why i wanted to get here early”

Oh, but before we went to the Vatican, i took a shower. IN. THE. DARK. BECAUSE ALL OF ITALY EXCEPT FOR PISA DECIDED THAT I DIDN’T DESERVE TO HAVE A SHOWER WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE TO FUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY LIKE AN ASSHOLE

ALSO on the way to the Vatican, I asked if the two of them had their passports. Ally said yes. Molly said yes, why?

And I had to then explain to Molly, a 20 year old RELIGIOUS STUDIES MAJOR, who was RAISED CATHOLIC and who had FAMILY IN THE CLERGY, that the Vatican, THE CENTER OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, is it’s own country.

she, again, did not believe me until i pulled it up on google for her

turned out that we didn’t need our passports stamped to enter the Vatican but still! still!!!!!

so it turned out that whatever day we were there on, the Sistine Chapel isn’t open that day, so we just walked through the cathedral and then headed out to the Colosseum and the ruins of the Senate behind it, both of which were very cool

Day 7 - Rome to Milan to London

we got up even EARLIER on our last day, I took another shower in the dark, and we rushed over to the Vatican, speedwalked through most of the museum, and finally got into the Sistine Chapel, which was absolutely breathtaking. Then we hauled ass back to the train station to catch our train back to Milan.

At this point in the trip, I was so fucking done with the two of them, but especially Molly. Ally was sweet and naive, but she was also willing to listen to new information. Molly was just a stubborn ass with a mean streak a mile wide and I was COMPLETELY done associating with her.

Luckily, since I had booked my flights separately, while we had flown into Milan on the same plane, I had a completely different flight back to London - to a different airport, even. They were going back to London City, but I was heading to London Gatwick. Both planes were set to depart around the same time, from two gates that were next to each other though, so i couldn’t really escape them until - uh oh! My flight was delayed.

Molly and Ally were fretting about it but i was like “it’s fine. it’s fine. I’ve been flying since i was literally 3 months old and I s o m e h o w know more Italian AND Spanish than the two of you combined, even though I would never say that I speak EITHER of those languages. Just go.”

The flight ended up being delayed like 5 hours due to mechanical issues. They finally just got another plane for us, and we finally took off from Milan. When we went over Paris, the captain, obviously feeling bad about the delay, made sure to tilt the plane in both directions so that everyone could see the Eiffel Tower lit up, it was really neat.

We finally got back to London at literally like 230 in the morning. The busses and some of the trains weren’t even running at that point - certainly not all the way out to the fancy little liberal arts college I was going to. I went up to some security guard at the airport and said “just tell me how close I can get to the University of Roehampton on the trains” and he told me to take the train to Black Friars so I got out there and there was a bus, but it was like 40 minutes out. It’s now pass 3am, I am exhausted after a long, weird week in Italy, I texted my dad and he said “just get an Uber i’ll pay for it”

The Uber driver was very nice and as soon as I got in he said “you look really cold! do you want the heat on?” i could have fucking kissed him. he was super nice. actually made sure that I was still texting my dad (i had mentioned it when I got in because I almost dropped my bag while trying to text and maneuver at the same time) every few minutes. offered to let me take and send a picture of him to my dad. otherwise didn’t really speak and just let the music play. I tipped him literally whatever was in my pocket at that time, i don’t remember how much it was, but it was at least 20% and probably more. Really great guy.

Random London Uber driver from 2017, you remain the best Uber driver and I love you

i finally crawled into my shitty little dorm bed at about 4am, exhausted and utterly bewildered by the past week

honestly??? I’m still bewildered by my week in Italy.

wtf even happened in all that mess.

#italy #venice #florence #rome #pisa #tales from the hill #chris #thebubbledragon

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booknerdphd · 5 years

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International Student Tips: Shifting Stuff

Hey guys!

So, I shifted to the US a day or so back and I’m settling in slowly. It is obviously a big mental shift, even if I did spend 6 years in the US as a kid.

I’m going to outline here the things everyone will have to do once they get here, things that are probably obvious, but maybe it will help people out. There will be a Part 2 of this post, I will link it here once it is up.

This post covers what you need to keep in mind immediately after you land. That post will talk about furniture, finding a place to stay, etc.

Immigration Stuff

You will find this from your to-do list from Uni or from the Government websites, but either way, here is a list. You have a 30 day time period (from your I-20 start date, is my understanding) to update all of this, but try to get it done as soon as possible. The sooner the better

1) Your I-94: As a kid, I remember my parents filling out this form, but luckily for us all, this in now all online. After you land and have internet connectivity, download the I-94. Keep your documents ready in digital form (page 1 of I-20, Passport with expiration details, F1 visa (except for Canadians)). You will need to accordingly upload the same for your check-in with University. Make sure this is all in pdf format.

2) Phone Number and Address: Once you land and take a day to just recuperate from your travel, head out to get a sim card. Research before hand what the best option is. If you’re already decided on the preferred service, it makes it easier to get it all done with quickly in a day or two. As for the address, you may be staying in a hotel or a friend’s place till you shift into your new place. Temporary addresses are accepted. I am actually waiting for my lease to start to update it, though, since my start date and my lease start date are the same.

What will Happen When You Land

Okay, so, while I am on the topic of immigration, let me explain what the process will be.

When you land in the US, you will first join a queue to interact with homeland security. This is the immigration point. This is your last test, so to speak. The person there has the final authority to reject you. Your F-1 visa is not a definite assurance that you will step on US Soil.

Here, you may get some questions, and if they want you to discuss some more, they may send you aside to have a different person talk to you. Don’t be afraid, you will be fine. Just answer the questions and you will get through it.

Once this is done, you get to the baggage claim. You will pick up your stuff and go to customs. They will have already identified and marked which luggage they want to check or deem suspicious. You will have to declare anything they think you shouldn’t be bringing.

Once this is done, you’re finished, you can now book a cab, get to your stay of choice and pass out (or not, please stay awake to avoid jetlag).

Money Matters

One thing that is a big question mark is how to carry your money or manage your money. I will provide two options that could work for you, based on what I did and based on what my friend did (though she was going to Australia).

Let me give you an understanding on what was different for us. She was staying with a family friend and her brother was already in Australia, so she went through a slightly different route from me. I was staying alone, though at a friend’s house, and I had no one in the country.

Given this, here are the two ways to manage:

1) Carry only Cash: My friend only carried some cash with her, and then her father transferred the remaining amount to her brother. Once she got her bank account (since she didn’t have any expenses like food or stuff like that), her brother transferred the money to her.

2) Carry Cash, Card and Transfer the rest: What I did was I budgeted two month’s expenses and broke it into 3 parts. One part I was carrying in cash, one part I kept on a forex card and one part I kept in my account in India. This money I had transferred once I opened my account.

A forex card is a good option because it has a 5 year time period and you can also use it to just keep that money safe after you open a bank account. It was ideal for me since I was landing in the weekend and would have to wait a while to open an account. In this case, it would mean that without the card, I would have to use cash, which would end up with me getting looottss of change I would never be able to use.

Keep in mind, however, that your forex card may have a set date you need to use that money by. Mine was 60 days, and I opened it in August. Make sure you put small amounts of money in it till you have to shift money into the bank account. Also, check your atm withdrawal charges and see if you can put money on your card and then withdraw it all and deposit it in a bank once you set up a bank account.

Another option you guys could look into (it depends on how long you think it will take for you to get an account) is a traveler's cheque, which can be put into the bank afterwards. You set it up before you leave your country and encash it once you set up your account.

Misc.

1) Once you set up your account at the bank, make sure to ask them to convert some bills into a stack of quarters. You will need this for laundry.

2) Once you land, make sure you keep yourself up for a little while- at least till 8 pm local time. Somehow push it through. It will be hard, because I landed in Seattle at 1 am India Time. I have no idea how I even made it to the damn apartment, but I did. Have some coffee, and take a long bath. Just push yourself till 8 pm and then pass out. It will definitely help with jet-lag.

Food

1) When all fails, in terms of figuring out what to eat, find a 7/11. Like, you will find places to eat, don’t worry, but just on the off chance you don’t want to spend too much money or want a big meal, just go to a 7/11. It’s not the healthiest option, but it is good enough till you buy something you can make (in your hotel room or the apartment you will stay at).

2) Buy bread and cereal. If you like rice, buy a small pack of rice. Rice, bread and cereal won’t require much work from you. If, on the off chance, you don’t have a fridge to use, this helps out with that as well. Long shelf life items like potatos, carrots, and onions are good too and can be used with the rice. When you are jet-lagged, half asleep and have no concept of the time space continuum, you seriously cannot be bothered to worry about earthly issues like feeding yourself. Eggs are good too, if you know you can finish them in the time you are in the house/hotel and have a fridge and cutlery to cook. Milk is important too, for the cereal, but buy the small tetra-packs. No one wants to lug food from one place to the other when you finally shift into your new place.

3) HOWEVER, don't feel like you need to do either of the above. For me, the 7/11 was fairly far away so I went to a Safeway, which was a 10 minute walk. That is okay, don't push yourself to go for the cheapest of stuff if it's too far away. You will have some sort of grocery store nearby- go buy only what you need for a few days and once you feel up to it, look for cheap options.

#studyblr #gradblr #international student #phdblr #shifting #itsesther

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cupidsmusings · 4 years

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The Affair That Never Happened

Description: It was here third and final and final year at Seishun High School. A year that was coveted by most and looked back on with cherished memories. For this particular student though, she found herself in a peculiar situation that set a catalyst for things to come.

Rating: PG-13

Series: The Affair That Never Happened

Chapter 3: To Pen and Paper and Out the Door

Couples: Eventual reader x Shinichi, unrequited reader x Chiharu

Author’s note: In Japan, some love hotels have age restrictions while others do not. In Tokyo, the legal age is 20, which is why the MC is worried about entering a love hotel. Another thing, most love hotels don’t have your normal front desk workers and instead have a touch screen TV in the front lobby to pick which room you’d like. Most staff working in the love hotel are never seen, which is why none were included in seeing her enter the place.

Chapters: 1, 2

Fuck. Literally what the fuck. She would be finding the entire situation hysterical if it weren’t for the fact that she was almost about to piss herself from fright. What was she supposed to do? Thank God he looked too concerned with keeping himself from vomiting again to take notice of her.

“Sorry,” Was all he managed to say and held out his hand to her.

What did he want? Was he having trouble standing and needed help? Moving to the side of him, she grasped his other arm and threw it over her shoulders so he could properly lean against the side that wasn’t covered in vomit. Wait… This could become an even more troublesome predicament. She couldn’t take him back to the dorms. He was drunk as a skunk and she doubted she could handle a fifteen-minute walk back with a grown man basically leaning atop her. Also, it seemed that he hadn’t noticed her, so if she thrust him into a cheap hotel room for him to sleep everything off, she’d be able to leave quickly and return back to the dorms without trouble.

“Just hang on okay, I’ll find you a hotel for you to stay at tonight.” She told him gently and started to walk forward.

He released a noise and made a heavy thrust of his head. What an interesting way to nod, but to each their own. The two of them walked at what felt like a snail’s pace and {Name} found herself more and more agitated as the minutes passed. Where was a damn hotel that wouldn’t suck the life out of her wallet?

“I’m sorry for taking so long,” she apologized and made sure to keep her face out of view of his gaze as she looked about them. “It seems that I’m having trouble finding you a cheap hotel.”

Without a word, he tightened his grip on her shoulders and guided them down the streets of Tokyo. Despite not being aware of where she was being taken she let herself be guided to a row of hotels. Love hotels. Oh wow. She looked up at him and was fairly amused by the triumphant smirk on his face.

“Found some.” He slurred, and she couldn’t hold back her laughter.

“I can see that.” She hummed and looked at the prices listed outside.

Indeed, love hotels were cheap. What worried her was that she was underage. What would she do if they asked her for her ID? Well, maybe not? A high-school student wouldn’t be out so late with a drunk man. With forced bravado, she guided the two through the entrance of what she thought to be the cheapest hotel amongst them. And when she went to the front desk, she found herself curious about the “themed” rooms mentioned. Imagining the ever so serious Kagari-sensei waking up in a ludicrous room was far too tempting to pass up.

“What kind of themed rooms do you have?” She found herself asking with a kittenish smirk.

She clicked the themed rooms button at the top of the touch screen panel and found herself abuzz with excitement. Which one should she pick? The Princess Room? Carnival Room? Medieval Room? A heavy S&M inspired room?

“Which room would make you squirm the most?” She asked him with a cock of her head.

He didn’t say anything, and she didn’t expect him to, but when he pressed a button on the Carnival Room, she stared at him with widened eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re afraid of Carnivals.” She whispered in slight disbelief.

“Not scared,” he shrugged, or at least tried to but it honestly just looked like he had gotten a cold chill. “It’s just girls like Carnivals, right?”

That’s when he was staring down at her and she was so stupefied by his answer she forgot to look away. The key-card popping out for them to retrieve was what broke her attention.

“Well, whatever, let’s hurry up.” She grumbled, a little saddened that she couldn’t choose the S&M room for him.

The two made their way to the elevator and once on their respected floor, the black tile lit up, pointing them in the direction they needed to go. That was pretty neat.

“Love hotels are kinda cool, huh?” She commented as they walked to the door of their room. She rummaged through her purse for her wallet, but the large man that might as well have been a large child moved to go through his own pockets.

“Calm down, I’m paying for it.” She said and tried to swipe her card, but he shoved her hand away with his own so he could swipe his.

“A gentleman should pay.” He said.

What a weirdo. It wasn’t as if she was going to stay the night with him, so he didn’t have to act like he was paying for both of them. It made sense for him to pay for it, she knew this because he would be the one staying the night after all. But her stubbornness roared its ugly head and she was more determined than ever to pay for his stay. She shoved his hand away and went to swipe her card, but he, in retaliation to her retaliation, took her wrist in his free hand and moved it sluggishly away so he could successfully swipe his own card.

Again, that stupid smug smirk was plastered on his face once more. She rolled her eyes and patted him between his shoulder blades.

“Good job, you true gentleman you.” She commented dryly as she swiped the key card in the door to open it.

What greeted her was cotton candy-colored walls with large surgery sweets painted on them. The floor was a sparkly pink with blotches of see-through glass randomly placed atop it. Upon further inspection, she could make out glass confections in the shape of balloons and wrapped candies that were surrounded by a gentle layer of soft stretched cotton that gave the falsehood of it being cotton candy. The bed was king-sized, with the four posters striking upward all the way until it touched the ceiling. It twisted and turned like a unicorn's horn and was painted rainbow with a sparkle finish. Carved into the backdrop of the bed was a carousel with nude women and men having sex atop the different animals. There was a couch to the right of the bed that was an ungodly bright shade of yellow with hot pink trimmings. The ceiling was covered with sheets that gave the impression that they were inside of an outdoor circus tent.

“Toilet,” he managed to mutter out before wrenching himself from her to clumsily make it to the bathroom in time.

She watched him with pity and slight curiosity. What made him go out drinking so heavily in the first place? Was it the sorrows of love? Was he in debt? Did he realize he’d never get a woman with his rude attitude? Well, that last one could be a part of the sorrows of love but it was an extra jab she couldn’t help giving him. With one final once over of the impressive room she walked into the bathroom. She crouched down beside him and ran a soothing hand up and down his back.

“You sure did drink a lot, huh?” She smiled at him, not bothering to hide her amusement. “Did you get dumped?”

“No,” he managed to say after he heaved a few junks in the toilet. “Just met up with an old school buddy that wouldn’t let me leave until he had me drink my fill.”

“You’re an adult, right? You had the choice to say no, so don’t blame it on your friend. You’re not young enough to experience pure pressure anymore.” She laughed and restrained herself from playfully smacking him on the back.

“What an astute answer.” He couldn’t say much more because he was throwing up before he could.

“Not astute, just true.” She hummed and went to gently comb her fingers through his hair. When her father was dealing with a hangover, he liked her mother doing it, so she unconsciously assumed it would help him.

She should remove her fingers, she knew this, but his hair was so soft. She had never felt such feather-like hair. To be fair she wasn’t going around delving her fingers into the hair of strangers, but it was an honest comment none the less. Once it looked like he was finished, she went ahead and used her already dirtied cardigan to wipe away the leftover vomit that coated his lips.

“Feels nice.” He smiled at her, and oh boy if he smiled like that more often he would definitely have more suitors.

“Glad to hear it, I guess.”

She helped him to his feet and dragged him over to the plush comforter and what seemed to be a thousand pillows that decorated the bed. She watched him sit up and laughed as he put on a dramatic show of trying to remove his suit jacket. Not wanting to waste any more time there than she already did, she hurried to help him remove his jacket. Once out, he reached out and with a contradictory of unsteady but firm hands he tried to undo the buttons of her cardigan, to what she guessed was in order to remove it from her person. She very much liked it on her person though, so she gently pinched the foreskin of his hand.

“Quit it,” she said but he looked up at her with a stern expression.

“We have to get you out of your dirty clothes.” He told her, his tone matching that of someone who was telling another that they were about to go into battle.

“You should take a bath as well,” he started just as she opened her mouth to protest. “You got some in your hair.”

“I what?” She almost snapped but was thankful that her voice came out more confused than shrill.

“Here.” He said and gently cupped a few strands of her hair underneath his fingers.

“Well, that’s just disgusting.” She grumbled on the verge of hurling herself.

“But it wasn’t when I threw up on your cardigan or when you cleaned my lips for me?” He asked, sounding rather amused despite being the source of her problem.

“That was on my clothes, but my hair is part of my body, so it’s grosser that way.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! Yes, it is!”

Why was he the one sounding amused now? With a huff, she walked over to the bathroom door before turning a sharp glare at him.

“If you peek I’ll do some not very nice things to your baby maker.” She warned him before she shut the bathroom door.

She gently peeled her cardigan off her and made sure that no aspect of vomit touched her skin. Time passed and though she only meant to wash her hair, she had been too tempted by the jetted tub. She had never been in one before, so it was purely for curiosity reasons. It was definitely not because she felt weird leaving the bath after a shower in front of her teacher. Because that would just be silly. And she was a mature woman that didn’t get embarrassed by such things.

She had been soaking in the jetted tub for about ten minutes when the door was thrusted open, with Kagari-sensei running in. He did not run to the toilet and instead went over to where she was.

“What the hell are you doing?” She growled and sunk her shoulders deep into the water.

Thankfully the bubbles from the jets prevented the intruder of seeing her nude form.

“There’s a camera in here. I pressed a button on the remote and the bathroom popped up on the screen.” He explained, but that was it.

“One: When did you do this and how much of my body have you seen? Two: Why did you feel the need to enter the bathroom while I bathed? It would have been easier to just pretend like it never happened.” She sighed and quirked a brow at him.

She wasn’t embarrassed, not at all. Because she was a mature woman and mature women didn’t grow nervous over such things such as the bizarre situation she found herself in. Screw it. This was so embarrassing. She wanted to die. Thankfully the room was also quite dim, so she doubted he could make out her face, let alone her body. But still, death would be appreciated at that point in time. Or the power to teleport. Or the power to erase memories. Both would be amazing to be quite honest.

“But that would be lying.” He stated firmly. “And I don’t lie.”

“Everyone lies.” She found herself arguing.

Was now the time to be arguing? No, no it was not. But here she was, naked as the day she was born arguing with her teacher.

“Not me. Lying is wrong.”

“It’s also wrong to come barging into a bathroom where a lady is busy trying to clean herself. Especially after it was the said male that came barging in that caused it. You might as well be the one bathing me.” She replied soddenly.

That was when he knelt beside the bathtub, readying himself to bath her. She looked to the wall opposite of him, clearly mortified. But with him so close she couldn’t take the chance of him seeing her face. But he saw her face before this right? Maybe he was too drunk to notice? He had not made the comment of knowing who she was. That wasn’t the point though. The point was that she was being sarcastic.

“I wasn’t being serious. You can leave.” For the love of God leave.

“Oh, alright.”

She listened to him walk to the door and waited a minute or two after he left to sink her entire head into the warm water. What a nightmare the night turned out to be. When she left the bath she hurriedly dried her body and only dried the bare minimum of her hair, because if she did all of it, it would take way longer than she would have liked. She just wanted to leave. When she dressed herself she didn’t bother putting her cardigan on and instead opted to just hold it.

Once out of the bathroom, she found Kagari-sensei’s shoes, pants, and shirt strewn about the floor. He was neatly tucked underneath the sheets like a child. All peaceful and blissful in his drunken state. Screw him for that.

“Alright,” she started and made sure to reframe from saying his name. “I’ll be leaving now, do you think you’ll be okay?”

“You can stay too, it’s late after all.”

“Can’t do that.”

If he found out who she was he would get her expelled from school before resigning himself in shame. He was far too serious for his own good. At least he seemed to let loose at some points in his life, which was interesting. It was then that she considered that perhaps her school’s teacher’s actually had their own lives outside of being prude-y and stuck-up.

“At least leave your cardigan.” He urged and before she could reply he gripped the front of her shirt.

“Fine,” she let out a troubled sigh. “I’ll leave it with my phone number so text me when you’re finished washing it or whatever.”

“Or whatever? What else would I be doing with it?” He asked, amused once more.

“Just go to sleep.” She snapped and gently smacked her palm against his forehead. “Set your phone alarms so you don’t oversleep. Bye.”

She laid her cardigan out on the armchair of the couch before she quickly wrote down her number on a napkin from the bedroom’s wet-bar. She put the napkin on the bright pink coffee table and made sure it was in plain view for him. When she looked at her phone and, upon seeing the time, let out a curse.

She turned to glare all her frustration out onto the bastard that caused her such trouble. He was, of course, peacefully asleep. With gentle steps not to wake him, she walked over to the bed. With care, she removed his glasses from his face and placed them quietly on the night-stand before leaving the room. It wasn’t until 2:20 that she got back to her room on campus.

#voltage inc #after school affairs #shinichi kagari #chiharu utsumi

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chelsmcd · 4 years

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10 Years... 10 freakin years...

The end of a decade has come... Where does time go? How does it seemingly go by so quickly?

How many of us can clearly remember 2010? Or, more accurately, the end of 2009 and getting ready to ring in the new year? I can tell you, my life now, is definitely not where I thought it would be at this time 10 years ago. To be honest, it took some serious thought to try and figure out all the things that have happened in the last 10 years, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look to Facebook for some help (thank you young Chelsea... for documenting almost EVERYTHING you did).

10 years ago... I was living in Pickering at my mom’s place, I think this was for “financial” reasons, but also, it was just easier. I had only lived away for 4ish years, but was back under her roof, her rules (luckily I had very few rules... I still like to brag I was never given a curfew as a kid, there were only a couple of “Chelsea... this is too late to be coming home” run ins).

10 years ago... I had no worries, no responsibilities, nothing tying me to anyone or anywhere. I was, for all intents and purposes... very free, and a very free spirit.

9 years ago, I was working for a Trampoline company. Insert all the bad dad jokes here: it was really up and down, we had bad days but we’d always rebound, yadda yadda yada. I was also running my side hustle of working with a race car team (scroll through some old posts on here to find the videos I used to make... man... we had some good times! Some great friends have been made).

9 years ago, I was getting by, living life, earning a salary, hanging with friends and just doing whatever I wanted. Life wasn’t challenging, but it also wasn’t overly fulfilling. I’m 3 years out of University, I’m doing OK, having fun. But I wasn’t... genuinely happy. Not with what I was doing anyway. I was young, I was, perhaps naive to what the world ahead of me held, but hey, these are my glory years... what does it matter anyway? My biggest issue was paying my car insurance and having the right outfit for my next night out.

8 years ago, I feel like I finally started my life. Like I started, as an adult, and started making decisions based on what was right for me, and not necessarily cool and fun right now. 8 years ago, in 2011, I took a chance on me (at the encouragement of one unwaveringly supportive mom) - I moved to Cornwall to start in the radio world. The fear in that move was rivaled by the excitement of what could be. It wasn’t my first time living away (although this was the furthest), it wasn’t the first time being responsible for paying rent (and thankfully, this was the cheapest), it wasn’t the first time for a lot of things - but it was the first time I felt like I was finally choosing me and my path over what was convenient. It turned out to be where my life, and I’d say my career path really began. This was the first dive into media - where I would get a chance to be ‘on air’ - those words still hold weight for me. Being... ON... AIR. Someone saw something in me, and while it was maybe 3 times per hour over 3 hours x 2 days a week... it was SOMETHING!

While I didn’t know it... that decision 8 years ago, led to some major moves 7 years ago. When I moved again, to a place that would steal my heart.

7 years ago, I moved to Kingston and started co-hosting the morning show there. Whoda thunk I’d be a morning show host? Buzz and I had an amazing couple of years together. While we were in very different spots in our career paths, I felt like any road bump I hit, he was there to offer support, guidance, and in some instances ride on through with me. Buzz - I don’t know if you’ll read this, but thank you, thank you for being an ally, a friend, a mentor and all around great human. I know this decade has had its ups and definitely its hardest moments no one would ever wish upon someone. We don’t keep in touch as much as I thought we would, but I have so much respect for you and how you’ve handled the past few years specifically. Your strength is inspiring.

6 years ago I started in sports “officially”. Who knew how much this would impact my future? Who knew that would bring my back to Toronto (but that’s a story for another year)? As an in-arena host for a Junior Hockey Team... life was fun! I was on air doing the morning show during the week, napping, and hosting hockey games on the weekends. Wahoo. 2013 - you were a good year. You were also the year, and I’m sure anyone reading this that has been around for a while will remember, the #BTheFace contest? 2013 was the year I was one of 4 winners of the Mercedes. The year we held an awesome party in a dealership in Vaughn where the roof literally caught fire, where I got to go behind the Scenes at Cats, where I got to check out Fashion Week and interview Jeanne Beker.. so many fun memories in 2013. Maybe the best year of the decade? May. Be.

5 years ago, I left morning radio, and took a risk on a start up gig, but now... on air ON CAMERA!! People would get to SEE ME!?! I’ve always kind of owned I love the spotlight... and this was no different. This was a great year, from rapelling off buildings, to driving a poker boat, to joining the police at the shooting range (apparently I’m not too bad with a shotgun FYI), to baking cookies in a fire training facility - I experienced SO many fun things. And let’s not forget skydiving?! While I have some wonderful friends who I just hit it off with when I arrived in Kingston (ahem.. looking at you Andi), I think this was the year I also made some valuable friendships that have transcended some time. Keenan... Andrew - you two are gems. Absolute gems, and I’m so thankful we still keep in touch. Heck, Keenan, I think for you, Skydiving changed your life path!! Andrew - you got a mover out of it years later! Guys - I am so grateful for your friendship and the memories we’ve had along the way. Keen, I won’t go into any of the jokes or the memories.... because there truly are WAY to many (but.. like... jam jams).

4 years ago was a big one - it’s when I admitted I no longer needed the spotlight and accepted the biggest change in the career, leaving media and stepping fulltime into sports. I know some of my friends from elementary/high school still look at me and think “What are YOU doing in sports?” - this is not me. I was not athletic, I was not into sports, but hey... my passion for entertainment (as I later learned) is what brings me fulfillment each and every day. Also... ummm bought a house. So there’s that (hello highwaisted, stretchy big girl pants).

3 years ago was probably my toughest year of the decade. Both personally and professionally a lot of challenges, a lot of lessons learned and a year I believe I was happy to close the books on. While I look back now and can find the silver lining of the person it helped shaped me to be, it was a tough year to live through, and it was a year that forced me to make some decisions and start making some changes so that...

2 years ago... I came back to Toronto. To start full time in Football. FOOTBALL!? Now, my dear grandma and great uncle were always Argos & Pinball fans, but for me, it wasn’t something I was passionate about. Entertainment was the passion, and with a background in sales and game entertainment - I snagged a really neat role with the CFL. A role that allowed me to travel across the country, a role that expanded my knowledge of sports, a role that helped me feel more fulfilled, more satisfied and see my own opportunity for growth.

While 2018 and 2019 have been busy with a few more nights spent in hotels, a few more pounds on the ol’ bod, a few new friends, a few new hobbies and a heck of a lot of growth, I’m looking forward to the new year.

As I flip the calendar - There are a few things I’m living this year, maybe this decade by... they include lessons I’ve learned on my own, some are advice from others - but all are, in my opinion, worth a moment of reflection.

1. Stay Humble, Hustle Hard : I always have a side hustle it seems. This past summer I was working in Basketball to expand my skill set. I don’t know that I will ever need to call upon it, but it’s another sport, another role, another area for growth. It’s also opportunity for networking, building that professional base. Not all hustling will be for financial reasons. Sometimes - the hustle is going to be hard, challenging and require sacrifices... but sometimes, those big sacrifices have the biggest payoff (and sometimes, let’s just be honest, they don’t... but that’s OK too).

2. You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, use them in proportion : I’m a loud mouth, I talk a lot, we all know this, it is not a surprise. A big lesson the past couple of years was to learn to sit down and listen. I don’t need to be the first to speak, in fact, sometimes, just listening means you get to learn so much more.You get to hear everyone’s opinions, positions, points of view - and that may lend itself to inform your own position. Nothing is wrong with not having all the answers right away. For anyone a little younger, starting out in their career - I urge you to take this one to heart. Do not confuse this with me suggesting you should not speak up in meetings - but I encourage you to listen a little longer before you do.

3. You’ll never regret the things you do, as much as the things you don’t : in other words, be glad you did something, don’t wish you had done it. You can not go back and gain an experience once it’s gone. This is the year for all the 20-20 vision jokes - but we all have 20/20 hindsight.. we all have those moments we wished we had seized, those moments we look back and say “ugh... if only...” I had said yes, I had more time, I knew then what I know now. Carpe that diem. Don’t let the world, your moments, your life pass you by.

4. Settle for nothing less than you are worth : You get to choose what you bring into your life. You choose your job (I assume you applied for it didn’t you?), you choose where you live, you choose who you are friends with. YOU. You are in control of what you bring into your life, how you are treated and how you treat others. In the professional realm, the company will look out for their bottom line, you need to look out for yours. Be your own advocate. In the personal world, this could be a boyfriend/girlfriend, this could be friends, this could be where you spend your spare time, but you deserve nothing less than what you want to work for. Don’t be a victim of your life. Be the champion of it.

Wake up. Choose to live your most fulfilling life, your most challenging life, your most rewarding life. Choose yourself. But remember - these are your choices, your responsibility to own, your effort to put forth. No one is lucky in life. There are just those who work, and those who work harder. I try to choose to be the latter. It’s led to some great opportunities in life so far, and I hope for many more.

Happy New Year friends. Cheers to 2020, cheers to a new decade - and cheers to the best self, we each get to choose.

#NewYear 2020 #LifeLessons NYE 2020 NewDecade

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themagiciansreccenter · 5 years

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Five @ Five: @wickodi

As a part of our author spotlight, we’ve asked each writer to highlight 5 fics and tell us a little about their experience writing (or reading) them.

1. Reaching In The Dark by @ohmarqueliot

He held onto the image of being bent over by Khal Drogo, and then sighed ruefully. He knew he should go and find that hotel and bargain for the cheapest room they’d give him for cash, but he waited at the corner like the impressively attractive male lead in a romcom as Quentin walked away down the street. He couldn’t help it – he’d been stuck living a life that wasn’t his for the last few months, and seeing someone that he actually knew felt like fresh air had been breathed into him for the first time in so, so long.

A few metres away now, Quentin drained the rest of his coffee and veered towards the trashcan on the edge of the sidewalk, dancing awkwardly around a woman who stopped in her tracks on the path. Quentin kept walking, not noticing that she was staring at him. A moment later she caught sight of Eliot and her brows rose in a way that he would have found comical if he hadn’t been distracted by the swell of anger and irritation that was starting to roll through him. She glanced quickly at Quentin’s back as he walked away, and then turned back to him in bewilderment.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Yeah, this wasn’t the help that I was hoping for. Thanks, universe. Sighing heavily, he waved his hand half-heartedly. “Hello to you, too, Alice.”

This entire fic made me cry and laugh and blush all at the best of times. It’s wonderfully written, and actual got me into liking Alice and Eliot as friends. If only it was canon...

Written on Your Heart by Tobiko / @rahnesinclair

A few hours later the pen vanished.

Hanna scrubbed Kady raw, ignoring Kady’s squeals and cries. Fucking judgmental parents.

Quentin’s father Ted had been a bit worried when Quentin’s arm hadn’t cleared up, but he’d just given Q a reassuring pat on his head and said, “She must be one heck of an artist.”

Eliot’s parents grumbled when they saw the scribbles. Soulmates. What useless nonsense.

Margo’s entire family had thrown a party in celebration, though they complained to anyone who would listen that it was a bit early and she wouldn’t even remember.

Alice was two-years-old and already knew how to hide things from her parents, with a little help from Charlie.

Penny’s parents didn’t notice.

Did I mention I’m a slut for group soulmates???

The Zeppo by @adjovi

She chuckled into her mug. My work here’s done. Not more than ten minutes later, Eliot came down, shooting her an obscene grin, lifting her feet and letting them drop into his lap as he slid in beside her. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out and dragging over an empty beer can as an ashtray, one of many littering the floor and tables, sticky remnants of the festivities from the night before. He lit up, looking over at her, blowing out a long plume that curled up and away. “El…you’ll never guess who just skittered out of here…”

“Bambi, be nice.” He took another drag, glancing at her like he meant anything but.

She tilted her head, licking her lips. “Our favorite nerdy little puppy.” He shifted a bit under her, leaning his head back against the sofa, sliding long legs a bit further out. “Didn’t know Q had it in him.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, which made her start to wonder, and when he answered, his voice was filthy dirty. “Neither did I.” He was smiling in a way she hadn’t seen on him in a long time, eyeing the ceiling.

Her mouth fell open. “You?

Margo’s voice and POV in this is excellent, and it has all the right ships so obviously I’m game :)

All Some Children Do is Work by EdgarAllenCat

He thought he was prepared for whatever horrific thing was behind that front door. He was ready for blood, gore, and death. As it turned out, he wasn’t ready, because there was no way he could have prepared himself to see a tiny girl with brown curls choking out a little boy with a tie. Penny froze and blinked. That wasn’t….was it?

Without thinking Penny jumped forward and pulled the little girl away before untying the boy’s tie. The boy took a deep, gasping breath. He coughed and rubbed his throat before looking up at Penny with wide, terrified eyes.

“Hey! I almost had it,” the little girl said indignantly, putting her hands on her hips.

Penny looked at her and looked at the boy on the ground and felt his stomach run cold. He wasn’t sure what had happened here, but he knew that Chronomancy had a lot to do with it. In a state of pure shock, he looked around the room, hoping to god he was wrong. His gaze fell upon a gaunt girl with wild curls and hauntingly familiar green eyes.

“Kady?” Penny asked, blinking several times as though to make sure he was seeing this right. There was no way he was mistaken. He had spent so many nights looking into Kady’s eyes that they were forever burned into his memory. Penny could forget a lot of things, but he could never forget the jade green colour of Kady’s eyes.

She tried to move further away, but was pressed against the wall. “How come you know my name,” she asked with fearful suspicion.

What the hell had they done? Penny looked at the children around him. His friends. “What the fuck did you asshats do?!”

If you ever need just the best feel-good, hilarious, somehow-not-ooc fic, then this is it.

I Am Also a We by NeverlandHart / @neverlandmagician

“An hour later, Julia is back in her apartment. She swallows a Tylenol for her migraine and walks towards the bathroom. As she waits for the shower to heat up to the perfect temperature, she tries to get herself back into focus. When the water is hot enough, she slips out of her clothes and walks into the shower, pulling the curtain closed. The hot water helps her migraine some, but not enough. After she rinses her hair she turns the water off, opening the curtain and-

There’s a woman standing in the middle of her bathroom, her skin is tan, a slight contrast to her green eyes and dark brown curly hair. She looks as alarmed as Julia feels.

And, well, when it fully hits her, Julia does the first thing that anyone would do when there’s a stranger standing in your apartment.

She screams.”

I love Sense8 so much and the fact that someone is doing a crossover gives me so much joy!!

#the magicians #the magicians rec center #author spotlight #author spotlight: wickodi #five @ five

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perlocutionary · 6 years

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Ruin Me - Mitch Rapp

Description: Another mission hasn’t gone exactly to plan due to Mitch’s temper. He always finds his ways to diminish your anger though - or so he thinks. Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader - AMERICAN ASSASSIN

Word count: 3393

A/N: This contains smut. Because it’s Mitch. I can’t do anything else considering Mitch. Also, mentions of blood, death, you know, the whole lot when you think of an assassin.

Also, a big big big thank you to my Goddess @itsbilescallmebiles for proofreading this for me and giving me her honest opinion as always. You are amazing.

Ding. As soon as the elevator doors slide open, I’m off without a second glance to my partner. My manicured hands slide along my face, which contorts into pure disgust when I feel the warm wetness against my fingertips. My heels loudly rap against the tile of the hotel hallway, hearing my partner’s dress shoes click in the same manner, although more leisurely, behind me. I am beyond aggravated with him. His short temper was undoubtedly the one thing that would one day cause my inevitable doom – and I would end up in the cheapest casket Orion could find. An anonymous funeral, all I ever dreamt about. “Y/N,” he sighs, stopping right behind me as I angrily dig through my purse in search for the hotel room key. I feel his hot breath tickle against my exposed neck, shivers erupting on my flesh from the small gesture. Without acknowledging him, I push the card into the slot and impatiently tap my heel, waiting for the small indicator light to flash its green colour. The door squeaks in its hinges when it flies open before slamming against the wall on impact. I stomp further into the room, disappearing into the bathroom for a cloth as I hear the door softly click shut. It seems as if that set a bomb off, igniting all resentment and anger I felt toward the young male. “You – you are incredulous!” I spit, wiping the pristine white wash cloth against my cheek, appearing back into the bedroom. Mitch is undoing his tie, movements stilling when he hears my voice. “Don’t be so uptight. We’re fine.” He shrugs. I wish I could wipe that smirk straight off his face. “Fine? We’re fine?” I growl, remaining stoic in the door opening leading into the bathroom. “We were ordered to observe, Mitch. Not start a murder spree at the banquet of the biggest drug cartel of Mexico!” I take a daring step closer, continuing to run the damp washcloth over my skin. I growl in particular when I wipe along my forehead and see the bright red stain it left. I thread closer, Mitch now working the buttons off his dress shirt, eyes glued to me. Pushing the wash cloth in his general direction, I wave it around so he’d see the pink hue that had overtaken the original colour. “That’s fucking blood, Mitch. On my fucking face.” Mitch discards his dress shirt carelessly, the pristine white also stained with droplets of blood – probably his own. “Don’t worry, it’ll come off after a shower.” He speaks nonchalantly, hands already fumbling with his belt buckle. Mitch didn’t care about anything – as long as he and I stayed alive during every mission. “And, oh god, the dress.” I gasp as my fingertips brush along the bright red silk snuggly hugging my tender frame. Dark droplets of blood scattered across my chest, abdomen and hips. “Do you know how hard it will be to get the blood out of this dress? It’s one of a kind, Mitch. I could never afford this.” Mitch chuckles, leaving his belt unbuckled as he threads closer, taking the wash cloth from my hands. He runs it against my sternum, following the low cut of the expensive red dress until below my breasts. I sigh at his gentleness, my eyes slowly drifting closed. “The dress is red. You won’t even see the blood.” My eyes immediately snap open, a frown edging onto my equally as red lips as I take a step back. “What?! Look at me.” I point out each and every speck clearly visible among the silk material. Mitch does nothing to hide his eye roll, lips pursing before a smirk crawls its way to the surface. “You look beautiful.” Mitch never gave compliments – whether it be my appearance or my skills in the field. But after missions like the one we just failed miserably at, always. I would be bloodied, bruised, and occasionally, covered in the finest materials from around the world – when higher up deemed it necessary. “Do you have a kink for women drenched in blood or what, Rapp?” “No. I just lust seeing you flustered.” He slowly drags his tongue along his bottom lip, retracting as I visibly swallow. It was no secret that I was very attracted to Mitch’s physique, but he wasn’t great at keeping secrets either. His protective manner, stolen glances and touches gave him away. “Stop trying to distract me, you sly fox.” I huff, but the blush is nonetheless very prominent on my cheeks. Mitch’s grin is full of self-fulfilment, his dress shoes kicked off to the side as he turns away and drops his slacks to the floor in a hollow thud. God, his ass looked divine. I couldn’t help appreciate Mitch’s muscular legs when he was sporting his favourite worn out jeans, but the way his ass looked in slacks or in his boxers could get me going. Whenever he paraded naked through our hotel room when preparing for a mission, it felt like I was set aflame. “I’m not distracting you. I’m changing the topic of conversation because I feel like the subject we’re coming to is unnecessary and quite frankly, pointless.” Another wave of anger flashes through me at his words. If I worried, or pointed out the flaws in all Mitch’s game plans, we would end up like this. He would always say the conversation is pointless and force me to drop it. “I’m sick of putting my ass on the line for you when you take zero responsibility, Mitch. I’m your partner and I’m meant to keep you alive, but damn man are you making this hard on me.” Instead of lingering, hoping to get a sliver of attention, I turn on my heel and unzip my dress. It gracefully tumbles to the floor, pooling around my ankles as I step out of it. My fingers fumble with the bobby pins keeping my hair up, loose waves falling over my back like a curtain. As I thread slowly to the bathroom, he clears his throat. “I thought you loved a challenge, Y/N. And,” I begrudgingly turn my head, glancing at my infuriating partner as I cover my bare chest from him with my arms. “Your ass isn’t on the line. It’s on display.” His eyes are glued to the curvature of my ass, teeth digging painfully into his lip. Our gazes meet as he grins bashfully, my head shaking as I suppress my smile. “ Since when do you wear thongs?” “I didn’t sign up to babysit a full grown man though, baby.” My pointer fingers hook into the frail material, slowly inching it down my legs. “And, since the amazing dress you ruined showed any hemline.” The red lingerie falls to the floor, only my heels still strapped around my ankles as I disappear into the bathroom. As I turn on the shower full blast, I hear Mirch’s voice loud and clear. “I’m not complaining. At all.” An involuntary chuckle slips my lips as I kick off my heels, dipping my wrist underneath the water beam to gauge the temperature. I raise my voice the slightest bit, hoping he could still hear me. “Of course you aren’t.” As I deemed the water sufficiently scorching enough to remove any remnants of blood, I step underneath the ample spray. A sigh escapes me as my eyelids flutter shut, my hands running over my wet hair to slick it back. “Hey, I can appreciate a good ass when I see one. I’ll be out in a minute, I need to piss.” He groans as I hear the clank of the toilet seat being lifted, one eye opening to glance sideways. He is slightly turned toward me, his boxer-covered ass in my direction as I hear him start. “You know, I’m glad you feel so comfortable around me, but I’d appreciate five minutes of breathing space every now and then, Mitch.” Laughter bubbles from his throat as he leans over the toilet to flush, tucking his junk back in before turning toward me. “You didn’t require any breathing space last time while you were choking on my cock.”I can see the cocky smirk he is sporting through the fogged up shower glass, his eyebrow wiggling suggestively before he lets his gaze wander over my naked form. “For the love of good, Mitch!” I roll my eyes aggravatedly, shaking my head and sending water droplets flying. I run my hands along my skin, rubbing away dried blood, staining the water pink. “As if you don’t enjoy it.” He steps closer, slowly opening the glass shower door. Steam escapes my small confine and I shudder as the cold seeps in. Mitch discards his boxers, leaving him as bare as I, before stepping into the shower with me. I glance down, grinning foolishly as I look at the taller man through my lashes. “Not as much as you do, apparently.” He steps underneath the water, his hands ghosting over my waist. He doesn’t touch, but the promise that he will sends a shudder along my spine. His fingertips brush along my biceps, guiding my hand to his broad chest. My fingertips toy with the patch of hair covering his chest, trailing over every single scar on his soft skin. “Seeing Elizalde’s hands run over your body, lingering on your ass, I wanted to slice his throat.” Mitch confesses, his nose brushing along my collarbone as his hands rest on my hips, slowly pulling me closer toward him. A chuckle slips me, fingers brushing the stray hairs away from Mitch’s face. “Are we becoming possessive, Mitch?” A low, almost animalistic growl slips him as I tug on the strands of his hair, his head tilting back. His teeth graze along my jaw, his words a practiced vow to himself that he kept repeating time after time. “You’re my partner, Y/N. I’m supposed to protect you.” His fingertips ghost along the sides of my breasts, nails scratching the tender flesh as he passes. I push him back, against the tile wall, as I lower myself onto my knees in front of him. “Keep telling yourself that, baby.”I wink at Mitch through my eyelashes, my hand curling around his erected shaft, drawing a hiss from his parted lips. “If it gets you on your knees… I will.” With a few flicks of my wrist, I start to pump him agonisingly slow, licking my bottom lip in anticipation as a droplet of precum appears. I slowly drag my tongue across his slit, erupting a deep, rumbling moan from Mitch’s throat. I hum satisfactory, licking my bottom lip again for good measure before leaning back on my knees again. My wrist flicks again, although too slow to be pleasing. “I should just leave you like this, every time. Throbbing, pulsing, desperately twitching for my touch.” Another flick of my wrist as I squeeze his shaft, dragging a ragged-out moan from his lips. He opens his eyes, glaring down at me – trying to sound threatening. “You wouldn’t dare.” I lean in again, the very tip of my tongue licking its way up to the tip of his cock along his vein. His hips shake, hand disappearing into my wet hair as he gets caught in the tangles. With another bold stripe licked along his slit, I whisper my words. He aligns himself with my lips, which remain tightly shut. “Wouldn’t I? Don’t tempt me, Mitch.” A desperate groan slips him as his head roughly collides against the tile. He pushes my head closer again, tip dragging along my closed lips. “Suck.” When I make no intention of moving whatsoever, a whimper slips Mitch’s lips, almost inaudible. “Please.” Without hesitation, I take control over the situation as the tip slips past my lips, hand slowly aiding my movements by pumping up and down. Mitch’s head connects roughly with the wall behind him, lips parted slightly, his pants filling the small space. “I still regret not doing this sooner.” I pop him from my mouth, keeping the pace of my hand stroking going, picking up, as I glance up. “If you hadn’t been a walking asshole we would’ve.” Scratchy laughter slips him as he pushes my hair out of my face, curling it around his fist. “As if,” he tugs my head back, wiping his thumb across my bottom lip, “as if that didn’t draw you in.” A slight pull guides me back toward his cock and when he’s fully seated in my mouth, I hum in acknowledgement. My tongue brushes along his prominent vein while my teeth gently grazes his shaft, my fingertips digging into his hips to keep the broad man from jerking his hips. I flick the tip of my tongue over his slit before sliding my lips past him again, bobbing my head in an ungodly rhythm that has Mitch a panting mess above me. His hands roam over my face and shoulders before residing in my hair, tugging the strands in the hopes of making me go faster, deeper. I can tell be is near from the way his hips involuntarily stutter and his breathing grows shallow, ushering me to pick up speed and stimulate the remnants of his cock with my hand. As soon as my other, unoccupied hand starts to fondle his balls, Mitch tumbles over the edge, groaning bashfully as I swallow around him. I pop him from my mouth, grinning up at my partner as he aids me back onto my feet. A sloppy kiss follows, teeth clashing and tongues battling leisurely as he pushes me back under the beam. The scorching heat calms my achy nerves and I slip my eyes closed with a groan, throwing my head back to let water run down my face. I flinch away when something unexpected touches my side and my eyes snap open. My glare is directed at Mitch, running a washcloth over my side. “There was some blood left.” He smiles down at me, running his wash cloth-covered hand along my breasts and chest, his intimate behavior out of character. “Thanks, am I good now?” I turn around for him, showing my body off to his piercing gaze. A hum leaves his lips as he taps my ass playfully, my hand smacking him across the chest – with no intention to hurt him. “Me?” “You have some, uh –“ I point toward his face before reaching up and swiping my thumb across his brow. My hardened nipples barely brush against Mitch’s chest, his half-flaccid cock twitching back to life at the action. “Seriously?” I laugh, running the fingernail of my pointer finger along his shaft as it bounces happily at contact. He smirks down at me, running his fingers through my hair before yanking roughly, exposing my neck to him. “What can I say, I’m insatiable.” “That, my friend, isn’t even a lie.” I wink before disappearing out of the shower, throwing a towel around my frame before paddling over to the bedroom. I hear the shower being turned off and Mitch’s heavy footsteps right behind me. How that man ever pulled off a stealth kill was still a mystery to me until this day. “At what time are we meeting Irene and the rest tomorrow?” Mitch questions, drying his hair with a towel. I can’t help but stare at his bare ass, firm but so squeezable, as he passes me. “Nine AM. They’re sending a car for us.” As I take a glance at him, he has shifted onto the bed, lying carelessly sprawled out on top of the sheets, still completely bare. “Enough time to figure something out, then.” He shrugs his shoulder so nonchalantly I am instantly reminded why I was angered with him in the first place. I walk over to our shared duffel bag, redressing myself in a pair of underwear and a shirt before dropping beside Mitch on the bed. “Seriously though, Mitch. We’re taking this too far. What are we going to say in the meeting tomorrow?” I lol my head to the side, glancing over at him as I try to get comfortable. He turns on his side, fingernails scratching along my thigh. “That it was my wrongdoing.” I roll my eyes exasperatedly, sighing deeply as I bite my tongue. “You shouldn’t take the blame. We’re a team after all.” Even though Mitch was outrageous sometimes, I know he wouldn’t jeopardise the mission if it meant that I would be in grave danger. Everything he did was calculated by himself, even if I wasn’t in on the loop. Mitch lips connect with my neck, grazing his teeth against the slender flesh as his hand disappears between my legs, rubbing his slender fingers over my folds through my underwear. I hum as my skin feels like it’s set ablaze by Mitch’s touch. “Stop trying to distract me with sex.” Both of us laugh, the vibrations sending another chill down my spine. Mitch’s tone is playful as he nips at my neck. “Who said you were getting laid tonight?” My fingertips ghost over his jaw, tickling along his stubble as he continues to kiss his way along my neck and jaw. “This,” I start off, followed by rolling my hips into his hand, thumb roughly pressing against my clit and a growl slips my lips.“this,” and lastly, I wind my fingers around his erect cock, slowly tugging it “and this.”. I keep my grasp on his as I use it to lead his between my legs, already positioning him in front of my entrance. “Ah, no, Y/N, turn over baby.” He pushes against my hips, flinging me onto my back and I raise on my knees immediately, pressing my ass against his pelvis. “Always so eager.” “Just get to it before I –“ I don’t get the chance to finish my sentence as a whimper slips my lips, hands fisting the sheets as he roughly pushes in and bottoms out. A low growl slips him and he wastes no time as he starts thrusting wildly, the only sound resonating through the hotel room the slapping of our skin meeting. Mitch’s hand skims over my spine as I moan loudly, stopping at my hair. He wraps it around his fist, pulling, making me raise my head from its position, jammed into the pillow. “Every mission should end in celebratory sex.” Mitch grunts, picking up already ungodly speed. I try to laugh at his words but instead another whimper slips. “We should only have sex when you stick to the protocol.” His movements falter as my words echo through the room and I can just imagine his incredulous look thrown toward me. I glance over my shoulder to just see that. “Maybe then I would stick to protocol. Not a bad idea.” Mitch laughs as he winks, grasping my hips firmer, his indentations sure to leave marks the day after. He starts thrusting wildly again, even rougher than before and I moan so loud my voice scratches through the room, my face planted in the mattress. I’m close already, pushing my hips backward in time with his thrusts to gain more friction. Mitch seems to understand and he shifts his hips, pressing against my G spot over and over again as I tumble into the abyss of my orgasm. Mitch continues his relentless pace until he himself spurs over the edge, stilling against my hips as a loud, almost pornographic moans escapes him. He pulls out, dropping down beside me, panting, as I roll over onto my back. My freshly washed body is again covered in a sheen layer of sweat, and Mitch is no different. Our heavy breathing fills the room, both of us coming down from our blissful highs stress free. It takes us a few moments before Mitch speaks. “So, did I distract you properly?” Loud laughter slips me as I turn over onto my stomach, grinning at Mitch as I prop myself on my elbows, tucking the duvet over us first. “You ruined me more than our mission did,” I chuckle, “Perhaps if you didn’t just ask that. You’re unbelievable.” Mitch sighs as he gets comfortable, slipping underneath the sheets. “Hey, at least you make me feel alive again.” Mitch mumbles, slipping into unconsciousness as my body freezes at his half-asleep confession.

Taglist:

Forever:@ssweet-empowerment @fuckwhateverfuck @youshiverwhenyouhearmyname @behind-my-hazeleyes27 @itsbilescallmebiles @7e6205

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pisati · 5 years

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I’ll admit, it’s sometimes a little hard to know where I stand with you. I do take your reassurances at face value, of course, and I know I often need reminding. but I also try to remember that you’ve been through a hell of a lot emotionally. I only know what you’ve told me; I don’t have your lived experiences. there’s a lot that you’ve gone through that I don’t even know about, and you don’t have to tell me about it-- it’s enough to know it happened. I can’t expect you to be as open about emotion as I am, or even able to feel things like I do (and I’ve been pretty dulled myself). maybe I’ve been reading you wrong at times; it’s hard to, especially through text. but I can hear it in your voice sometimes, I think. something flat. could be exhaustion, could be everything. of course I forgive your lacking in reciprocal effort; I appreciate all that you do give me. I know you’re trying, and you’re trying because you want to, not because you think I expect you to. it’s not easy. but you know as well as I do that shrugging everything off and staying in the emotionless void isn’t healthy for you.

from what I can at least guess about you, you’re a genuinely kind and caring person who has had a lot of his emotional innocence, so to speak, torn from him. you’re right: your emotion isn’t worthless. but that’s something you have to internalize yourself. I’ve been in similar dark places, but I don’t think it’s near to the degree you have. not that pain is a competition; it’s not. I just know that I can’t fully understand the things you’ve been feeling, or... not feeling. regardless, I know you know it’s not healthy and you want to move forward from it, and I’m glad to be there for you while you work through it. that’s a kindness I think anyone dealing with trauma deserves. I also very much appreciate that we can have both silly and serious conversations; even just following my blog you already know more about me than a lot of my irl friends. you’ve become someone I also care very much about and I don’t like seeing you in pain-- though of course it’s not my place to do more than I can, or more than you want me to. I’d still like to be there for you regardless.

---

anywho! travel plans. like I said, most of the issue is logistics. I’m looking at potential flights and I think a reasonable roundtrip is about 9 days; including 2 for travel, that’s a full week for adventuring. I’m flexible, of course, but I’m not the one with a job, lol. I don’t know what airlines would be best (though I did just find a flight on Icelandair, one 55m stop in Keflavik, July 10-19, for $1100 roundtrip), so if you wanna help out with searching you’re more than welcome to take a look yourself. I’d prefer shorter layovers if possible; none of those 27h total trips, lmao. nothing’s direct from Dulles unfortunately, but it is a major international hub, like JFK, so often I’ll be able to find flights to other major destinations from here. which is gr8, because it’s literally a 10-15 minute drive from my house. we have two other major airports here: Reagan national and BWI. personally I prefer Dulles because it’s closer, but if you can find a cheaper and/or direct flight out of the other ones, I’ll find a way to get there lol.

I’m going to be in PA for farm jam from, likely, July 3-7th. I’ll have to see how I feel about what day I’m coming home. I may or may not want to stay til the 8th. but anyway I don’t want to leave on an international flight *too* soon after I get home. I’ll have to drive 4 hours home after spending 4 days camping in the woods on a farm, unpack from camping, and then pack again, and I only have so much energy. I’ve done it before (got back from Iceland and drove to PA the next morning), but it’s not terribly fun. I think if I can make myself come home on the 7th, or at least early on the 8th, I can leave the 10th at the earliest. I’m going to look at July 10-19 as my reference, since that’s also one of the cheapest roundtrips that I can find (for some reason wednesdays are cheaper traveling days?), but those days might change a little. I’ll let you know if I decide on something for sure, but if you want to look up Airbnbs (or if you can find cheaper flights, lmao), you’re welcome to use the 10-19th as a general reference point as well.

I have no qualms about Airbnbs. it would be easier booking-wise to get the flight and hotel together, but I’m cool with having a little place out of the city for the week. the genuine experience, as you say, lol. the coast would be lovely, but I’ll take whatever you find that you like! I’ll leave that to your expertise. are we splitting the cost for that, or.. how do you want to do that?

as far as itinerary, I’m down for everything. I got real excited about that owl sanctuary, lol. anything with animals is great with me. can we see highland cattle too?? I do know I’m gonna want to check out one or two of the record stores in Glasgow; I think that’s my new Travel Thing, lol. going to a city, checking out the record stores. gotta bring records home. that’s my kinda souvenir. everything else, I’m down for too! I love learning about history, seeing old churches and castles, historical sites, all that jazz. I love the sound of that island too! I totally get what you mean about not doing all the typically touristy stuff. I mean, I live just outside Washington DC. I know the tourist traps are a waste of time and money and they’re not the ~real experience~. I love the sound of not taking the beaten path, though. and how often do you have a personal local tour guide? lmao

the only worries I have, really, are my energy levels and my traveling anxiety. neither of those are your responsibility, but they do affect me literally every time I travel, even if I think they won’t.

the anxiety has its roots in my emetophobia, for sure. for some reason my brain feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen is me getting sick while I’m traveling, and then of course I get nervous about it, and what accompanies the nervousness? nausea. shit writes itself. I know it happens, I’m very conscious of it, but that doesn’t stop it. I’ll bring klonopin as a security blanket, likely won’t need it, but mostly what helps is just, like, making sure I eat something, lol. I don’t tend to eat much when I travel anyway, but not eating tends to make the problem worse and I need something in my stomach, obviously. being distracted helps too. something to focus on, someplace to go or see. I’ll let you know how I’m feeling, though, so don’t worry about needing to check in on me. I’m not a nervous wreck all the time.

then there’s the energy levels. I have no earthly way of knowing what they’re going to be like in July. right now I don’t have much energy to do much of anything, but sometimes, especially if I’m subconsciously nervous, I won’t have an off switch. and sometimes I say “not a lot of energy” but I push myself anyway and surprise myself. it’s incredibly hard to predict my day-to-day now, without the traveling nerves, and it’ll be almost impossible to predict from now if something in my medical future changes. so, basically, it’s something to keep in mind but nothing to control for.

I’m pretty low-energy in general, but I can walk a good bit, so don’t worry about pushing me! I’ll let you know what I can handle. it’s probably safe to put one big thing in a day, 2-3 tops if they don’t have much travel time between them. better to leave time open to fit in more things anyway than to over-book and not be able to get to them all. I never know what my sleep’s going to be like, but I can almost guarantee it’s going to be terrible. it usually is when I travel. this also isn’t your responsibility, so don’t let me wreck your sleep schedule for when you have to get back to work, lol. I’m fine staying up late by myself if I’ve got wifi or if I bring a book or something; I can’t expect you to have the same crazy erratic sleep schedule as traveling-me. I’ll let you know if something is or isn’t okay, what I’m up for, all that good stuff. so I’d say definitely plan in all the stuff you want to do plus a few record shops, but leave some wiggle room for late starts, fitting more things in, or the possibility that I might not be able to get to everything in a day. not saying I’ll be struggling that hard, but wiggle room is always good so no one is disappointed lol

anyways I have no worries that it’ll be a great trip 😊literally everything you mentioned sounds wonderful, and I’m already excited! I do worry slightly that we still barely know each other and have never spoken face to face, lol. but I’m sure that’ll happen in due time before July. it’s one thing to meet an internet stranger in your city, but in another country? as a solo female traveler that does make me nervous. I like to think I have a pretty decent sense of the kind of person you are, but you really never know. it’ll certainly help ease my mind to get to know you better over the course of the next few months.

also... I don’t want to alarm you and I’m probably not supposed to tell you at all, but I’d rather be upfront about it. the background check I’m currently undergoing for my [future] job requires me to inform them of every non-US citizen I have “close and continuing contact” with. you and I weren’t talking yet when I filled out the background check form, but I do have to keep them updated or risk losing my chance at the job. they won’t do anything with the information I give them; everyone has friends and family in other countries, and the US doesn’t have any beef with Scotland that I’m aware of, lol. but I will need to give them basic information, especially if I’m leaving the country to visit. I would have to do it even if I weren’t planning on visiting and we kept talking, but this seems like an appropriate time to bring it up, lol. this is standard procedure for federal background checks here; literally everyone trying to get a cleared job has to do it. the form itself is open-source, the PDF is the top result on google, and I can send it to you so you can see exactly what they ask me to provide, if you’d like. I’m not going to ask you for more information than what you’ve given me, and they do take “I don’t know” as an answer. if it’s not okay with you at all, though, then we’ve got some major problems.

soooooo with that out of the way, lmao

if I think of anything else I’m sure I’ll bring it up when I think of it. the only question I might have right now is what should I bring, besides the essentials? a book, maybe. a crochet thing? perhaps? laptop? (probably no on that one, though, right?) uhhhh power adapters? the electrical plugs are definitely different there, yeah? any american things I can pack into a suitcase that you’d like me to bring? lol

speaking of american things. I’ve already got a small list of little things I could pack into a box and ship out there and I think you’ll like them!! how do you feel about sweets? I’m not talking junk food per se, like all the ridiculous candies we have here. just sweet in general? and I know you said not spicy, but how about seasoning? what kinds of seasonings do you like and dislike?

I’ll start looking into flights more seriously soon, as long as you’re okay with the background thing. I can’t give you too many details about all that, mostly because I don’t have them, but we can absolutely talk about it if it’s a concern.

so, yes. let me know when you have time to talk and we can start planning 💕

#oops it's kinda long sry

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