#I’m actually going to start killing people they’re so adorable I can’t handle it
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“Try it, try it now, try-”
The hushed tone the way he guides her with HIS HAND ON HER BACK OOOUUUGGHHHH HE’S HER DAD DO YOU GET IT?!?!??!?
#I’m actually going to start killing people they’re so adorable I can’t handle it#where am I supposed to put all of this emotion?!#bbc ghosts#the captain#kitty higham
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Will; Way; Wan Special Part Two
“Wow, Atsushi and Kyouka saved us a great spot for flower gazing!” said Dazai as he and his girlfriend sat down with their colleagues.
“Yes, I heard it was quite a bit of work,” said (Y/N).
“Hey, hey, look here!” chirped Dazai. He was wearing a flower crown across his head. “I’m the King of Cherry Blossoms. And you!” He placed a wreath across (Y/N)’s head. “Are my queen!”
(Y/N) blushed. It would have been a perfect moment if not for the Port Mafia sitting right by them and bickering. And…Akira was glaring daggers at the mafiosos while simultaneously trying to forget they’re there (she was failing miserably).
“Damn it, that sly bastard is going to ruin my drink with all his sappiness,” muttered Chuuya.
“Yeah, right,” snickered Dazai. “You’re actually a total lightweight.”
“Hah! I can handle more alcohol than a mafioso,” muttered Akira victoriously.
(Y/N) sweat-dropped.
“What? What was that?!” demanded Chuuya, glaring at the two people who insulted him. “I can drink!” He downed his glass. “Why are you two even flower gazing, anyway?!”
“I don’t answer questions from mafia men,” sneered Akira.
“I’m on a date!” declared Dazai.
“I’m going to kill two people today!” growled Chuuya.
“N-Now that we’re all here flower gazing,” said Higuchi, trying to make peace, “why don’t we make it a joint between the Agency and the Port Mafia?”
“No way!” yelled Dazai, Chuuya, and Akira.
“Who would ever have a joint event with these two?!” questioned Chuuya.
You don’t even know her… (Y/N) deadpanned.
“We’re getting out of here!” declared Chuuya.
He kept saying that they’re leaving, each time taking a drink which Dazai so kindly refilled with alcohol. (Y/N) could almost see the devil horns on her boyfriend when Chuuya passed out.
“We finally have some quiet!” chirped Dazai. “Why don’t we enjoy our banquet in honor of the cherry blossoms?”
And so, the night ended in a joint event between the two groups (plus Akira). They all got spectacularly drunk. ((Y/N) is pretty sure Akira was getting friendly with a member of the Port Mafia near the end, too, but she decided to never reveal that to her friend)
l
“Aww, a kitten!” exclaimed (Y/N).
“Did you find it, Kyouka?” asked Atsushi.
“Yeah, in the alleyway,” she answered.
“It has a collar,” observed Dazai.
“Maybe it’s lost,” said (Y/N).
Atsushi began petting the cat before it started to climb up him.
“It seems to like you, Atsushi,” said Dazai, smiling. He leaned over to (Y/N). “Maybe it thinks he’s a fellow cat.”
(Y/N) laughed while Atsushi protested and said he was a tiger.
“What’s going on here?” questioned Kunikida as he walked in. They explained. “A lost cat, huh? Did you really think things through before you brought it here? Listen, it’s a lot of responsibility to take care of a living thing. You can’t keep it on a whim. Kittens are especially delicate. You have to feed it special milk that’s been warmed up. It can be neither too hot nor too cold. It must be about body temperature. It might have a weak stomach, so let’s—.”
(Y/N) sweat-dropped. “I think just milk and cat food from the store is fine.” She placed a saucer of milk down for the kitten.
Atsushi and Kyouka watched the little cat lap it up. It was adorable.
“Listen…We can’t keep it here forever,” said Kunikida.
“Is that not an option?” asked Atsushi.
“You know we can’t guarantee its safety here,” explained Kunikida, “There are times when no one is around, too.”
“And it has a collar. It belongs to someone already,” said (Y/N).
Atsushi and Kyouka sighed, disheartened. They only looked up when Fukuzawa entered.
“Boss,” said Atsushi.
(Y/N) and Kunikida bowed.
“Wh-Why…” Fukuzawa stared at the kitten. “Why is there a cat here?” He looked excited. “How endearing…No. Let me redo my entry.” He left the room.
So he’s a cat person.
Kunikida cleared his throat. “We might be able to keep it, but think about what’s best for it.”
“Okay…” sighed Atsushi.
They spent the day with the kitten, treasuring every moment, before putting up flyers about finding a lost cat. Finally, a mother and son came to pick up the kitten.
“I don’t know how to thank you enough for taking care of her,” said the mother.
“It was no troubled,” said (Y/N), smiling. “She was very well-behaved.”
“I missed you, Miiko!” said the little boy as they walked away.
“The kitten is well cared for,” said Kyouka, eyes sparkling, “I’m glad she has a place to call home.”
(Y/N) smiled and put her arm around the younger girl. “That’s very sweet of you.”
“We have a great cat, too!” said Dazai. “You should pet him whenever you’re feeling down!”
Kyouka nodded happily.
“I told you, I’m a—.” Atsushi hid behind Dazai as (Y/N) leveled a glare at him. “Um, meow!”
l
(Y/N) deadpanned when she finally found Dazai. He was lying in an alleyway as if he was sleeping. Akutagawa, who stood at the entrance of the alley, looked more concerned than anything.
“Dazai, what are you doing?” questioned (Y/N). She yawned. It was the middle of the night.
“I want to become a marshmallow,” said Dazai, opening one eye, “Preferably a s’more.”
Akutagawa and (Y/N)’s jaws dropped at the dumb reason.
“I’m trying to accomplish my dream right now,” said Dazai.
“How about going home and dreaming while asleep in bed?” asked (Y/N).
“No, a man of my fortitude eventually longs to become a marshmallow,” said the bandaged man. “See? Aren’t I starting to look like a marshmallow? Squeeeeeze.”
Akutagwa stared intently while (Y/N) sighed.
“I see it!” declared Akutagawa.
“Yay!” Dazai jumped up. “You can become anything if you try!” Suddenly, he frowned. “Wait, what?! No! Akutagawa, humans don’t turn into marshmallows!”
Poor Akutagawa… (Y/N) sighed. Dazai tricked him.
“That exchange made it clear,” said Dazai, putting his hands on his hips. “Atsushi and (Y/N) are far superior to you, Akutagawa.”
Is there a way to measure conversations?
“How was that exchange inferior to one with the weretiger?!” questioned Akutagawa.
(Y/N) deadpanned. He completely ignored Dazai mentioning me.
“You don’t know how to take jabs!” declared Dazai. “Atsushi and (Y/N) can!”
“Jabs?” asked Akutagawa.
“It’s a terrifying skill, granting one the ability to control the room in response to astute situational decision-making,” explained Dazai. “Like when (Y/N) said I should dream while I sleep!” He pulled someone from behind a trashcan. “And that’s why I’ve brought Atsushi here.”
“Akutagawa!” said Atsushi nervously. “I came here because I was promised a sweet snack!”
“He’s dragged all of us out here,” said (Y/N).
“I’ll make it up to you!” chirped Dazai, pecking (Y/N)’s cheek.
Akutagawa glared coldly at Atsushi. He sent Rashoumon at him.
“Hey! You grazed me!” cried Atsushi.
“I was practicing taking jabs,” said the mafioso.
“That was a lethal stab, not a jab!” cried Atsushi.
“Akutagawa is practicing taking jabs right now,” said Dazai.
“I don’t think you should encourage that,” said (Y/N).
“You’re going to get in trouble for wasting time again,” said Atsushi.
“I’m not wasting time,” pouted Dazai, “I’m dashing towards my goal.”
(Y/N) felt lightning strike through her heart. Cute!
“Rashoumon!” Jealous, Akutagawa attacked again.
“Ow! Cut it out! Use your words!” cried Atsushi.
“Coward,” muttered Akutagawa. He gave Atsushi a thumbs up. “I will not kill!”
“But you’re able to maim,” observed (Y/N).
Atsushi sighed. “Akutagawa, when you take a jab, you’re supposed to slap someone with your hand and say ‘Bruh!’ ”
That is totally wrong…
“Let’s try!” said Dazai. He lay down on the ground again. “I’m going to try to become a toasted steam bun this time! Like the Gunma specialty. I’m getting toasty, turn me over.”
“Yes, sir,” said Akutagawa.
“That’s it,” said Atsushi, “Make sure you cook evenly. Don’t forget the miso sauce. Bruh!”
(Y/N) burst out laughing.
“That’s it!” Dazai jumped back up. “I knew it! Akutagawa, the natural airhead, and straight-man Atsushi, with the supreme jabs! A perfect combination to make my dear (Y/N) laugh!”
l
“I object,” said Kunikida sternly. “Why should we be doing this?”
“It’s to cool us off,” explained Atsushi.
Yes, being because in the dark with just candles is calming, thought (Y/N), glancing around her and leaning into Dazai,
“What, are you scared, Kunikida?” teased Dazai.
“Of course not!” denied Kunikida. “All right, I’ll kick off our so-called horror stories.” He looked up seriously. “I had a fever that day. I remember my chills just wouldn’t go away, but I was in the middle of work.”
That sounds like Kunikida.
“I had no choice but to carry on, at least until I had finished the work in front of me. That’s when I happened,” continued the blonde, “ I cried that I wanted to go home and go to bed. The thought overtook me.” He smiled, the story finished, “Petrifying, is it not?”
Leaving work behind is a true horror for Kunikida.
“That’s it?!” cried Atsushi.
“I tried to abandon my plans and go home!” shouted Kunikida, disgusted at himself. “Me, Kunikida Doppo!”
“You’re no good at this, Kunikida,” teased Dazai.
“Do you have a good story one?” asked (Y/N).
He nodded. “This happened in my own room just recently. It was morning,” he said darkly, “I was supposed to be out of bed by that time. Something was making my head heavy. It was pounding.”
(Y/N) deadpanned. She knew what story he was telling.
“I felt sick, but I had to go to work,” continued Dazai, “I did my best to get dressed and headed out to the Agency Headquarters. And that was when…I woke up!”
“Dazai, sweetheart, you were hungover that day,” reminded (Y/N).
“And what part of that was a horror story?!” questioned Atsushi.
Dazai shivered in fear. “I thought I’d finally made it to the Agency, but I was still in bed! I had to get up and go to work again!”
“You were just hungover,” repeated (Y/N).
Dazai shrugged.
Atsushi sweat-dropped. “What about you, (Y/N)?”
“Hmm.” (Y/N) thought carefully. “One night, I was walking back to the Agency after a case. It was dark, only the streetlights illuminated the way. All of a sudden, I heard someone calling my name, ‘(Y/N), (Y/N).’ When I turned around, I saw glowing red eyes and horns! It looked like a demon! So I ran and ran until I was back at the Agency.”
Dazai had jumped into Kunikida’s lap. Kyouka was watching with an impassive face as usual but shivered slightly.
Doesn’t Akira look like a demon? And her hair kind of looks like horns, as does her ability… thought Atsushi, sweat-dropping. “Kyouka…do you have any stories?”
She nodded. “I was organizing documents one day. I remember it being sturdy, high quality paper. I’d gotten it between my nail and finger. I didn’t notice, and I…swiped it hard.”
Agreeing that paper cuts were the worst, the others shivered.
“Also, the meat in the stew I had the other day was hard,” mentioned Kyouka, “It was my tongue.”
Poor Kyouka, thought (Y/N), She keeps hurting herself.
“My heart’s pounding just thinking about it!” cried Atsushi, terrified.
Dazai’s eyes sparkled at the stories. “Hey, do you have anything, Atsushi?”
“Me?” Atsushi smiled sheepishly. “It’s not really a great story, but…I was being punished at the orphanage. I was locked in a storage room. I noticed someone staring at me from behind some shelves. I said, ‘Does it amuse you to see me being punished?’ He continued staring at me. That’s when I noticed…there was no space beyond the shelves for a person to fit. I asked, ‘What are you?’ ”
Invested in his story, his audience leaned in.
“Psych!” chirped Atsushi.
His friends blanked but trembled in a little group.
“Okay, let’s move on,” said Dazai nervously.
(Y/N) held onto his arm. “Let’s never do this again.”
l
(Y/N) walked into the office. Smiling, she enjoyed Dazai’s impromptu dancing.
“Dazai’s finally lost it,” sighed Atsushi, entering behind her.
“No, no!” denied Dazai. He stopped and opened a website on his computer.
(Y/N) and Atsushi leaned in. “A dance contest?”
“You just have to dance to music and send it in,” explained the brunette, “There’s a cash prize for the winner.”
“Ten-million-yen?!” exclaimed Atsushi. “That’s amazing!”
He does love the idea of money.
“Why don’t you guys join me?” asked Dazai.
(Y/N) smiled. “That sounds nice.”
“Me? No way,” said Atsushi.
“Come on! Even if we don’t win, it’ll be fun,” said (Y/N).
“We’d be unstoppable, Atsushi!” said Dazai. “Think of the accolades! The giant cash prize!”
“Cash prize…” repeated Atsushi. “I’m in!”
(Y/N) chuckled. It’s like he’s hypnotized by the money.
Soon enough, the three of them were dancing around together. Together, Dazai and (Y/N) put on a fun performance (Atsushi was having fun but also third-wheeling). Kunikida was the next person to enter the office.
“Come on, Kunikida,” invited Dazai, “Join in casually, like you’ve been possessed.”
“It’s fun,” said Atsushi, a little winded from dancing.
“Yeah!” agreed (Y/N).
Kunikida turned away. “Back to work.”
“Hey, Kunikida!” called Dazai again.
“Oh, this is reality?” remarked Kunikida sarcastically. They explained what they were up to. “A dance contest?”
“Join us, Kunikida,” said Dazai.
“Why should I join?” the blonde questioned.
“There’s a ten-million-yen cash prize.” Dazai snickered. “Our budget’s been pretty slim as of late, hasn’t it?”
“You aren’t wrong…” admitted Kunikida.
“We could get some advertising done if we become famous, too,” cajoled Dazai.
“B-But…” Kunikida’s protests became weaker.
“Whispers of the devil,” muttered Atsushi while (Y/N) nodded in agreement.
The whispers worked, however. Stiffly, Kunikida was soon dancing along with his colleagues. They were having so much fun. Little by little, every employee of the Agency joined the dance. All had a different approach to the performance, but it looked like a giant family celebrating.
As they danced, (Y/N) couldn’t help but think: I love my family.
#there's a will; there's a way#bsd x reader#bsd anime#dazai bsd#bsd manga#bsd#dazai#dazai osamu#dazai osamu x reader#dazai x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#armed detective agency#bsd wan
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Looking at all the Twitter archive stuff about Benny Breakiron from when I was reading & finished Peyo’s original run where I kept being all “oh he needs an adult he can trust” it really makes me reflect on the second run his son did and how it kinda… tries to address those points but just misses a lot of what made the original so charming actually. Which is strange as I hadn’t even really noticed it while reading them.
There’s a lot of the same “small boy helps people and nobody knows or believes his secret”, but he’s able to have smaller adventures. He’s not being actively roped into gang wars and assassination attempts by the adults in his life - it all happens more coincidentally. Vladlavodka just happens to be kidnapped and taken to an active coup zone, benny responds by fixing an American pilot’s plane to get a free ride and then jumping out of it when they start being fired at & the pilot wants to turn back. He makes the choice himself with no adult wanting to bring him into danger! The albums are all kinda like this, the adults don’t purposefully put a child in harms way, one of the big “criticisms” I had while reading the earlier albums.
I just wish they didn’t kill Madame Adolphine II off permanent style as a result of this. It’s a move that comes off as “we need to make Vladlavodka more responsible.” Honestly, he’s the one guy in the series who I feel it was an actual character trait that he was irresponsible. Dussiflard & Bodoni are both well meaning guys who got into difficult spots and Benny really helped them out. Vladlavodka is a guy who kept rebuilding his evil crime robot hoping it would work out this time & willingly brought a child to a gang war. He’s just- not a bright guy. He doesn’t think things through. He would rebuild the robot again.
And the other big one- nobody helping Benny when he asks for help. Take the cops for example- Benny just stops going to them in the second run. He also stops giving his really ramble explanation of events. Those were really, really endearing to me and gave him a lot of character. He’s a little boy! Bad things are happening so he asks for help when he can’t handle it himself, but he’s young so he’s not sure what the important details are. So he tells everything as fast as he can. It really feels like he stops asking for help because they don’t want to show children being ignored, but it doesn’t even address the issue of him being ignored? It just kind of slaps a bandaid on the problem. “He’s not going to get help so don’t write that scene” energy.
Personally as much as I want to see him get help from some adults in his life, I’d rather he still ask than be ignored. Lots of kids are ignored it makes sense and adds to the series as a whole. He is a child, people think he’s playing pretend because his stories are outlandish, even if he’s been proven right in the past. Sure I’d like if there was an album where he is able to confide in someone who believes him and tries to help (but maybe ultimately fails because they aren’t super human) just to address that “hey there is a reason to ask for help,” but I don’t think ignoring the issue helps at all.
Honestly I’m not even sure my criticisms were “problems” with the series. They were parts of the series that made me feel stronger emotions, but I think that was a good thing! Me saying “we need to get Benny some trustworthy adults” wasn’t meant to literally change that part of the series- I think the series was more impactful that way.
Look I like the stories Peyo’s son wrote, they’re super fun! I think Églantine especially is one that would never have been done by Peyo due to how low stakes it is and I adore her. But Hold Up on Screen was pretty much the only album that moved me in a way similar to the early stories, & that was mostly because they killed off Madame Adolphine II. I wouldn’t even say they’re necessarily worse than the original stories- just that it feels like they tried to sanitize it and scrubbed away bits of what made the original charming.
#Twitter archive#technically not really this is a new post#but it’s in the same vein so whatever#thought I made this post already but couldn’t find it in a few quick searches so I guess not?#either that or tumblr search is stupid again but whateverrrr#if you’ve already seen a similar post to this on the blog my bad I really did try to check#long post
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Stranger Things Thoughts
No one asked but after my annual rewatch wanted to share some season 4 musingssss
Okay so first:
I really hope that Nancy ends the series single. I don’t see the writers back tracking to make Robin x Nancy thing (which I’m for and find delightful and hilarious due to their canon dynamic), and I don’t want her to end up with Steve or Jonathan at this point. Jonathan wants something different, and I feel Steve has this idolized version of Nancy. Her character is one I could see still seeking mystery and adventure in the future, if they kill Nancy in S5 I would be genuinely shocked. I truly love the idea of her ending the series single and on good terms with everyone, mainly due to her age. Going through college I saw way too many people that have been dating or haven’t been single since middle school, and it’s be cool to end the show with a character was a focal point in the romance aspect for a good chunk of it single.
Kiddos:
Dustin: I literally just want him to live. I don’t think they’d kill any of the kiddos but like….Max is on thin ice soooooooooo
Lucas: For the other kiddos to give him more love? Season four he gave and gave and gave and gave. Lucas needs more like…appreciation lol
Max: omg girl I need you to live or something pls
Mike: …..they won’t kill him and nothing bad has happened to him. Like no, the worst thing to occur to him was when Billy knocked him out in S3 and he was fine a few mins later. He’ll be fine.
El: my sweet baby angel, I want you to tear a whole dimension apart. I’d love to see her do smth new with her powers…idk what but like if she’s back to full steam I think she deserves some new tricks as a treat
Will: best boy for last, I am still holding out on Will getting powers. He was in the upside down for a week, AND had Vecna in his mind for like…..a few days and managed to still get a message to the gang. Plus! I wanna see more sibling interactions between him an El, I am more interested in that than whatever shipping is going on between the children which I can’t get behind bc….they’re like…13? 14? They’re babies. ALSO I hope Will comes out to his friends as well, but also I hope they don’t introduce some random new character for him to get a crush on. I’m not huge on Will x Mike mainly bc I’m not a huge Mike fan, and again….shipping….
Adults:
Joyce: this woman and her children need a fucking vacation, Joyce should get a gun and like….idk what else Joyce is a great woman and she and Hopper deserve a long nap
Hopper: I hope he has like something go right for him this season. Like have a super good time with something and it not be a direct part of story development let the man have emotional rest. Also get him some lasagna and bread sticks.
Enzo: pls give me more Enzo, he’s a lil daddy also seems like a…character who has more to add to the story
Murray: He’s my baby girl, he has a black belt, he speaks Russian, my father and I both adore him, he’s a bitch, he’s got the biggest heart, he flew out to check on Joyce after she lost the call, he went with her to Russia to get Hopper back, and the funniest guy on there (to me). IF he dies, after making me watch Bob, Aleksi, and my beloved Eddie die I actually become a hater. He is the one character whose death I don’t think I could handle, well maybe Steve but yeah
Teens:
Robin: let her function, like a bit better around Vicky, I still need her to be a disaster otherwise however. Also live, she’s sweet and should not be separated from Steve
Nancy: see above
Jonathan: I hope he and Nancy amicably break up, and be better friends because of it. They do work well together. If they stay together I’ll be surprised because they had some issues in season 3, and then more obvious ones in season 4. Narrative wise they are headed for break up city, I’ll be shocked if they make it.
Argyle: I need him to live, he’s the gentle giant, the Shaggy and scooby, he’s precious.
Steve:
…
Where do I start? Okay SO Steve is babygirl, and I’m over here thinking it would be neat for Steve to work on himself S5. I don’t see Nancy x Steve working again because 1: I’m not a fan of a character ending a relationship and jumping to another. I didn’t like how quickly Jonathan and Nancy got together in S2. 2., Steve had no romantic interest in Nancy in season 3. Literally none, it felt weird to have him pining over her in season 4. Steve has been used to subvert quite a few tropes already, and has become a very kind character because of it. He spends time with Dustin and gives him advice, he went to the basketball game and cheered for Lucas when everyone else was doing something else (Max gets a pass but she wasn’t there tho), constantly put himself between the kids and danger, accepted Robin for who she was when she came out to him, and ran back into danger for Nancy and Jonathan when they first fought the demogorgan.
I think Steve is my favorite character in this entire show, there are aspects of him that I relate to. He’s not the smartest guy there, but he tries, he wants to help his friends. He wants to protect, he wants to love and be loved so bad. Steve looks out for others so much, and I want to see him have a happy ending, but like…a satisfying happy ending. Idk how else to put it.
Hopes/Theories:
Eddie is still alive, because I’m delulu but also it would be fun to have him come back in season 5. He doesn’t have to come back as a bad guy, but I’m not opposed to him coming back with suddenly no memory and to be used against the kiddos and teens as a friend they left to die in the upside down (again), annnnndddd maybe having some more monstrous features about him…that go away as he remembers his friends and humanity. Anyways I really would love to see him again because also…like Eddie / Robin / Steve / Nancy as a group working together had such chemistry oh my God. Like they all had such fun chemistry together, and Jonathan is def better suited to be with Will/Mike/Argyle. Good dynamics.
Will should get powers and rip Vecna apart or at least help El in doing so. See above for more reasons why. But also Vecna put Will through a lot. Will needs some closure from the trauma he had.
Alternatively: Max gets powers from where El brought her back, being connected to Vecna who tortured her mental health, and being “blank” at the end of season 4. Her mind it’s own sensory deprivation tank, and during her “coma” maybe she develops something.
Thats all I got and if you read this, I’m so sorry this is just rambles and I’m not even going to tag it other than long post lol
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KYSF characters reacting to you dying during childbirth
warning: this is a very sensitive and sad topic which cointains youre dies. sorry
TUO: y/n noooo :( way to bring down the mood y/n!
MIKIYA: Oh, god, it can’t be... y/n is really gone, aren’t they? Well, it’s just you and me, Mikiya Jr. Mark my words, I will teach you everything I know, and we WILL avenge y/n by razing every last hospital to the ground! ...Oh, the good doctor! I was joking of course. Touchy, aren’t we? Obviously I’d never hold a grudge for you killing the person who birthed my child.
HAUNA: ok
CIJUNE: *cries for 19 minutes* my child.. you are all i have left. i will raise you into the best human being you can be for y/n's legacy. i swear i will protect you and love you the best i can *the whole time the baby is biting and scratching nurses and hissing*
PAYU: dang it! *snaps fingers* that’s such a bummer. welp. anyway. im gonna teach this baby to surf
AYASA: I am going to sue this hospital so hard that by the time I’m through with you, my child will be set for college AND retirement twice over. I have my lawyer on the line right now, actually, would you like to hear from him? *hands the doctor the phone but its his voice on the phone* Me again, bitch.
SOKEMUI: *rampaging though the hospital and screaming like a white woman in film's oscar winning scene*
ML: *kind of liked it* wow, y/n fucking died.. wow. kind of weird. i mean, i guess its sort of cute… oh yeah um *turns to the crowd of adoring fans and paparazzi* does anyone want this baby
HEAVENLY: i refuse to believe it… y/n CAN’T be dead! no way… it can’t be true…. *phone notification* oh! my starbucks order is ready. byeee
CADENCE: no.. how could this fucking happen… you’re a sham quack doctor *tries to fistfight the doctor and loses and dies*
JACOB: *through tears* y/n……. my poor sweet darling…….. i will send you off in only…. the finest of funeral rites. with highest honors. *blows up your corpse*
AURE: *glaring at baby* you did this...... you killed my beautiful yummy y/n..i am NOT going near that thing *the doctor: that is your child you have to raise them* no. i refuse to care for that creature
MARSHALL: what the fuck man...
ROO: Oh this is terrible :( Rest well, Y/N, you were wonderful... Now, who wants to raise this child? Nose goes!
LEN: this is so fucking sad *plays a perfect violin adaptation of Music of the Betrayed - 1 HOUR Of Epic Dark Sad Tragic Emotional Dramatic Music*
MIN: hahah funny prank ok y/n you can wake up now :p ....okayyyy,, theyre not waking up. you seeing this doc? o__0
CELESTIUS: *takes a picture* You’re going into my cringe compilation.
N*AH: ugh y/n 🙄 you know this is so embarrassing for me right? i couldn’t go to your seminars about “human rights” and “emotional intelligence” and “benefits of personal hygiene” because i was busy getting beer with the bros, ever think of that? you never think about my feelings. no, you always tell me that my cis white straight privilege clouds my better judgment and that i need to educate myself, even though i’m not even homophobic, no really. you always make ME look like the bad guy, and this is no different! you just went and died for attention. ohhh look at y/n, they’re dead, that’s so sad. boo hoo. because when people start caring about ME for a change you just can’t handle that because you’re a sensitive snowflake. god. and now i have to raise this stupid baby. pc culture has really ruined life for honest good men like me
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Demigod MC Series: Ares
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares
Lucifer
He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...
The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…
If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...
Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...
He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.
He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...
But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!
Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡
Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...
Mammon
At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.
Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.
Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…
But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?
He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!
It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥
As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection…
It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁
Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…
Leviathan
Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!
So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!
For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral” or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌
It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏
Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...
MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”
Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”
MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”
Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”
MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”
Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”
Satan
The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…
Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge…
For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!
… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!
Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…
Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....
Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…
The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.
He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!
… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!
Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!
100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌
Asmodeus
Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!
Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.
And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….
They're actually adorable!!!
Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!
The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰
From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!
It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!
The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭
Beelzebub
Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...
He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….
Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…
That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.
After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!
Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.
He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…
They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.
Belphegor
Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥
It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!
It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!
Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!
He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!
MC: "Do you really want to try that?"
The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…
MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"
MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."
That was... very persuasive.
The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily…
They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.
Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏
#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me demigods#obey me headcanons
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Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.
Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.
Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.
My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:
The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?
Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?
I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?
Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.
End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.
Other thoughts:
Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc.
As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.
What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.
I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content.
HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)
The facts:
They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you.
They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates).
Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies
Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.
Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache
Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.
Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.
Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.
As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.
Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse.
Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)
1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking).
Lucifer:
We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both
You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.
He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks
He’s not sloppy, just cozy.
Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one
When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair
Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).
Mammon:
GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)
He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything.
He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that
Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)
The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.
He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut
Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)
Leviathan
Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.
His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.
Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement
The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?
The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants
The loud laugher
He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in
Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well
Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down
Sways when he sits
When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair.
Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings.
Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.
Satan:
It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out
He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket
He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger
He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.
The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks
He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games
He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)
Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs
The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy
Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles
Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.
Asmo:
Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.
He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people
He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy
The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.
Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry
Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’
Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.
Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody
If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!
Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.
Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!
The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day
The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.
Beel:
The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol
Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.
Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.
He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else
Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring
Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree.
Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy
Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.
Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.
He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.
Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.
When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable.
Belphie:
Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.
His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.
He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent
Will try the funnel drink challenge.
The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.
Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually
The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.
Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.
Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.
The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.
The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!
#Obey me!#Obey me! x reader#Lucifer x Reader#Mammon x Reader#Leviathan x Reader#Levi x Reader#Satan x Reader#Asmodeus x Reader#Asmo x reader#Beel x Reader#Beelzebub x Reader#Belphie x Reader#Belphegor x Reader
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Could you talk more about your gumbo jar jar au or the frog one? 🐸
hm on close review the frog promise draft is a now redundant drabble from this au. Here it is in its entirety:
“I will never join you,” Luke said with a sneer of disgust.
Palpatine, as well as the nearby politicians, Jedi masters, and reporters were taken aback.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand your meaning, Master Jedi,” the Senator said incredulously. “Do you mean to tell me that you consider yourself separate from the Republic? I know the Jedi Council had disavowed recognizing you but I never could have imagined...” he trailed off, leaving the crowd to murmur in alarm.
“I mean I will never join the Sith,” the rogue master replied calmly. “I imagine you’re responsible for the traces of the dark side I felt amongst the trade federation leaders.”
“The Sith...I see.” Palpatine took a step back, deliberately reassuring tone and alarmed expression clearly indicated that he suspected the man before him of insanity. “It’s been a very long day and you clearly intended to do good by my humble home world. Perhaps your fellow Jedi can take you to the healers so you can-”
“Why are you working alongside a Sith Lord?” Luke cut off the Senator and addressed Grandmaster Yoda directly.
“A Sith Lord, you say?” Master Yoda replied. “A most serious allegation, this is.”
Basically, Luke derails the Naboo Crisis by absolutely annihilating the trade federation army, only realizing after the fact when and where he is. This means that Padme turns right around from Tatooine and never voices her vote of no-confidence. Now, Palpatine probably had contingency plans in place, but the public accusation by a Jedi of being responsible for the crisis in the first place, despite absolutely no evidence, hurts his image enough that he’s not going to win a vote, because people will think it’s a power grab.
And it’s funny cause it’s true but Luke only barely knows that! He’s just accusing Palpatine of being behind the first evil thing he sees and he fuckin happens to be right!!!
Anyway Luke doesn’t focus on Palpatine; there are like 10,000 other Jedi around. He commits himself first and foremost to completing his training with Master Yoda because sometime Yoda just dies and fades into thin air so, you know! He’s not going to procrastinate on that again!
He goes before the council and humbly asks to be taken on Yoda’s student (this is right before Qui-Gon can ask about Anakin- literally, Anakin and Qui-Gon are in the waiting room). He gives several extremely vague banthashit explanations of who he is ‘I’m a follower of the Force,’ where he comes from ‘the Force sent me,’ and why they should train him when he’s way too old ‘the Force willed it.’ Yoda is somewhat impressed because those are some real unhelpfully wise answers and- here’s the kicker- Luke actually believes them!
He is really committed to being a Jedi! Is 110% all about being a luminous being! This is several years after return of the Jedi and Luke has pretty much just been hanging out in force temples meditating with ghosts so he has quintessential Jedi vibes, he just knows jackshit about anything!
What really clinches it for Yoda is the fact that his robe pocket starts squirming and he pulls out a live Nabooian Salt Frog. And hands it to Yoda like, “These are one of your favorites right? :) I saw it and I thought of you :)”
Now Yoda- let’s step back a second. Yoda is old. Yoda, in his youth, was a bit more feral. He’s a top level predator and the order has always celebrated diversity and being true to your origins! He’s hunted with Tortugans on Shili! He’s unhinged his jaw with Besalisks on Ojom!
But as the Republic’s boundaries caved in on themselves, he was more and more put into contact with Core senators who tend to be unnerved by more, ah, carnivorous tendencies. And the more he was put into high level positions by virtue of being really frickin old, the more restrained he became in his public behavior.
Decades passed and younglings who only ever knew his more ‘harmless-prank’ feral tendencies were increasingly shocked and scared to see him occasionally unhinge his jaw to eat a scrocodile whole. Some of the prey-origin younglings from that field trip actually avoided him for the rest of the their lives.
So. Yoda is still a carnivore- but- in private. With his padawans and his closest peers. But his closest peers age and die and his padawans get younger and smaller as the decades pass. He took on two herbivorous padawans in a row and as a result restrained himself from openly hunting with another soul for around for 50 years.
And then there’s Dooku. ‘Ah a human,’ he thinks. ‘They hunt sometimes. Well. They’re omnivores at least.’
And Dooku is- and I’m not saying this to shame Dooku- but he’s prissy. He likes...neatness. He’s not afraid of violence but force forbid it’s untidy. So when Yoda, excited to get his ambush predation on, takes 14 year old Dooku who’s barely ever left the sterile confines of Coruscant on a trip to a swamp world- yeaaahh it doesn’t go well. Dooku- he doesn’t mean to, honestly. How would he even know that Yoda might be sensitive about things? He’s Yoda.
But Dooku sobbing openly and puking a little in a bush and running away from Yoda because his Master is terrifying and gross. It... kind of puts the nail in the coffin for Yoda being open about that side of himself. He doesn’t really have it in him to try again. People’s view of him is too fixed, they can’t handle him also being a flesh creature so he focuses on the luminous side of him which is and always was, genuinely, more important than him.
And that’s been the last 100 years or so. The thrill of a live kill is just a little piece of himself that he meditates away and that’s ok. He has the force. He has the order. He’s old anyway, a real hunt would probably hurt his joints.
And then in comes Luke, radiating Light and earnestness and Jedi serenity while also holding out a very tasty looking live frog. And Yoda realizes Dooku’s not around, he’s surrounded by a council he trusts and respects and likes, none of whom are 14 year olds, all of whom have seen the galaxy and seen worse. He is almost seizing the moment but there’s a little part of him that shriveled up when Dooku cried that’s having a hard time accepting this.
“Want it for yourself, you do not?” Yoda cackles, playing off the offer.
Luke smiles sheepishly and pulls out another live frog. “I was saving it for later. Forgive me Master, your senses are keen as ever I see.”
And Yoda...it’s not about the bribe, really, so much as the symbolism, and it’s not about the flattery either, but darn is the kid really pulling out the stops to make himself likable. And he is a kid, to Yoda anyway. Everyone is these days. What does he care about numbers when there’s a boy smiling like his third padawan, an adorable Rodian who took great delight in their more amphibious and wild missions?
Yoda snatches one of the frogs and slowly raises it in a parody of a toast. Luke does the same. The rest of the council quietly watches in various shades of bewilderment and bemusement.
They’re not actually going to eat that right? Mace thinks.
Ugh I hate frogs the skin is so slimy. Shaak Ti thinks.
I cannot believe they’re not even offering me one. Yaddle thinks.
And Yoda bites the head off the frog in a quick snap of his jaws, the rest following rapidly. Luke does the same- a slight assist from the force helping his less specialized mandible tear through skin and bone in a well practiced move. He chews slower, but finishes the frog soon enough, the rest of the council looking on with deep uncertainty and a tiny bit of hunger, but no actual fear. They’re Jedi Masters; they’ve eaten everywhere, it’s just a little weird for a human to be eating a live animal and Yoda as far as anyone knew only ate stew and also they were in the middle of a council meeting.
Yoda belches and Luke smiles genially.
“Take you on as my padawan learner, I will. Much to learn you have, much to teach you, I do.”
Luke beams. The council looks on in shock.
“Master Yoda,” Mace Windu says hesitantly, “He’s clearly in his late 20s, at the earliest. If this is about the... frog thing-”
“Was a pleasant surprise, the frog. The reason for my decision, it is not. Had some training already, he has. Know each other before this day, we do. Taking over for a Master passed into the force, I am merely. Our custom, this is.”
Luke bows lowly and an initiate is summoned to escort him to the quartermasters and then the long-empty padawan suite next to Yoda’s chambers.
Qui-Gon and Anakin are brought in and. Well. It’s a little hard for them to simply reject the boy after Yoda just pulled that stunt. He’s sent to the initiates dorm, eventually. Mace Windu has a headache from the shatterpoints blinking in and out of existence. Shaak Ti is delighted to discuss a hunting trip with Master Yoda and his new padawan learner Luke Svader.
The force dances.
#Anonymous#ask#300 celebration#star wars#my au#star wars au#frog promise au#yoda#star wars au no 29#nevertheless meta#luke skywalker eats frogs
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fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew
characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean
gn! reader as always <3
tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!
an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)!
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diluc
man. this MAN.
that’s it, that’s the headcanon.
he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways
SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is
will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day
it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-
you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons
the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars
there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3
“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d”
pls sir your hand in marriage
he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports
soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning
his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss
don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!
sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun
these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you
uncontrollable sobbing
he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is
frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3
ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️
on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it
i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup
you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”
you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in
diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo
only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness
swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help
you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong
to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT
you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner
you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you
ok last thing abt diluc
crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya
for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun
every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his
small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief
one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it
the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off
all in all, life w him is so sweet
kaeya
pretty boy? pretty boy.
while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure
piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides
he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission
he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun
he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly
he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin
you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be
oh my god ok wait-
he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public
so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store
you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine
and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist
you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked
meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off
you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings
he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-
he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking
he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing
oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???
ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck
your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin
he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him
HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS
no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy
it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE
it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks
you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this
kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you
he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring
with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine
TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh
he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim
he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard
it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE
i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table
hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not
ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade
very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him
the real, damaged pieces of his soul
he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again
SO BE CAREFUL 👹
once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch
pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING-
the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down
you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you
also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed)
if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3
anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man
stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it
jean
the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food
GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD
i am begging you she deserves it 😭
the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work
she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised
will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world
she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”
you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note
she’s so sweet BYE
she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her
when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin
she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable
sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities
“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”
reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean
if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date
she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual
OH-
GIVE HER MASSAGES
she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands
if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk
so make sure you steady her 😀
after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭
while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters
jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear
bouken da bouken???
adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do
it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you
even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it
it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3
you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya
kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too
all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier
kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas
angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr
life with her literally feels like y’all are married
so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH
your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye
you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing-
you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-
oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience
she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things
will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest
basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all.
thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin jean#genshin kaeya#genshin diluc#jean x reader#kaeya x reader#diluc x reader#genshin jean x reader#genshin kaeya x reader#genshin diluc x reader#jean#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#kaeya alberich x reader#diluc ragnivindr x reader#kaeya-x-reader#jean-x-reader#diluc-x-reader#genshin headcanons#genshin imagines#genshin scenarios#genshin impact headcanons#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact scenarios
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harmless (iv)
Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)
Warnings: cursing, guns, mention of war, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader
Word count: 1.5k
A/N: good evening i’ve never been to any of the places i mention in this series so dont come @ me
if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
Previous Part || Series Masterlist
He spends the weekend doing nothing. It’s supposed to be relaxing. He finds it nauseatingly boring.
“No mini mission this week?” Steve asks him from across the couch.
They’re supposed to be catching up on Star Wars but two prequels in and Bucky could feel himself lose his sanity. Anyone could present him with a random assortment of alphabets, call it a Star Wars species and he would have no reason not to believe them.
It’s not like he doesn’t like space. It’s just that he’s had enough of it and everything and everyone who came from it for the foreseeable future.
“No. Someone else is taking care of it.”
“Didn’t you volunteer for this?”
“I pulled myself out of the case.”
“I thought you were having fun.”
Bucky’s head slowly turns to look at him. “Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged. “Looked like you were.”
Well, he wasn’t. He likes it here at home, glued to the TV. Popcorn beside him, sweatpants on. Refreshing, calming, slow, mundane, and Jesus Christ, so fucking boring-
His spiralling is interrupted by the dinging of the elevator to the common floor. No one was allowed up there unless it was extremely urgent. Guests were barely allowed into the Tower as it was.
It reveals the receptionist from downstairs, Marie. She’s always a little reserved, a little shy. But Bucky had seen her chew and spit out trespassers or anyone who dared to get on her nerve. He adores her.
“Hey, Marie,” Steve says while Bucky sends her a friendly wave in greeting. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a hostage situation downtown,” she informs them.
“Okay...” Steve drawls, waiting for a reason why this was an Avengers level threat.
“They’ve asked for Mr. Barnes by name.” She makes a mention towards him.
Bucky sits up straight. Bits of popcorn fall off his chest.
“What?”
“They said, and I quote-” she looks down at her notepad. “‘Tell that grumpy motherfucker that I’m waiting for him and that he’s not getting out of this so easily because we have come too far.’ End quote. They’ve also told me to include a kissing emoji. And a skull.”
Steve and he look at each other.
“Well?” Steve prods.
Bucky sighs and gets up to go get ready.
The entrance of Chuck E. Cheese is more crowded than he’d ever seen. He wasn’t even sure he’d seen people in the store before. If there were, they probably only came up till his waist.
There are a few journalists, a few policemen standing together outside. Whispers of confusion and curiosity reigned free.
Bucky gently pushes his way to the front. He gets a nod from a police officer who opens the door for him after a quick briefing.
The place is darker than it usually would be. A trademark, it seemed. The blinds are drawn shut and most of the light is coming through whatever sneaks in through the crack.
“Hey, Barnes.” Your voice is muffled by a mask that looks suspiciously like it was made out of classroom craft supplies.
There’s a person in a loose chokehold in your hand with a gun pressed against his head. Once again it looks straight out of a cartoon, purple with round disks lining its barrel.
“What’s all this now?” He gestures around monotonously.
“A hostage situation. Didn’t you get the memo?”
“Got that part down, genius,” he bites back. “But why?”
“Fucker kept harassing me when I was walkin’ down the street.”
The guy’s helpless gaze met Bucky.
“Catcalling me, stalking me.” You tighten the grip you have on him. “Call me darlin’ one more time, you son of a bitch. I dare you.”
He wasn’t impressed with his pleading eyes. He kinda felt like he deserved it.
“Why’d you do it here?” The bright colours were starting to give him a heading. “And where are the staff?”
“It’s symbolic, Bucky,” you emphasise, “He deserves to be among other rat bastards.”
Of course.
“The staff?” he asks again.
“Gave them thirty bucks and told them to leave. I’m not a monster.”
“Right.” He doesn’t bother refuting you. “Why’d you call me here?”
“Dunno.” You shrug. “Thought it’d be fun. You having fun yet?”
You shake the guy you’re holding. He gives a small whimper.
Bucky doesn’t want to stop you. He had chugged enough Respect Juice in his lifetime to know that this guy probably deserved a threat or two.
Hell, he’d even help but you were more than capable of handling this on your own.
“Listen,” he sighed. “As much as I’m sure he deserves it, this is technically illegal and I’m required to stop you.”
“Sorry sarge, I thought you weren’t interested in playing this stupid game with me,” you mock, voice dropping to imitate him.
“I’m not.” It wasn’t entirely true. One Saturday with Jar Jar Binks had convinced him otherwise.
“Okay, so before you leave, do me a favour and call Hawkeye. I hear he looks mighty fine when he’s annoyed.”
His face involuntarily scrunched up. You were going to replace him with Clint? Clint?
He probably took it more as an insult than he should have.
“I’m not doing that.” Bless his foul mouthed friend, but he was a little shit who was too sarcastic for his own good. At least twice a week he’d say something stupid to Bucky and then take out his hearing aids when he tried to argue back.
“You’re leavin’ me with no options here,” you groaned, using your thumb to flip a switch. The gun looks like it powered up, lights along the side turning red.
If he let you have this, it’d be a bad look for the Avengers.
New York man dies in Chuck E. Cheese lone hostage situation, unable to be saved by same superhero who tried to fight Thanos with a machine gun.
“Tell ya what,” he says instead, “If you kill him, there won’t even be a slight chance that you’ll see me again.”
Your grip on the gun falters.
“If I let him go...”
“I might consider coming back next week.” He’s trying to spin it, make it look like he’s the one with the upper hand here. “But you gotta let him go.”
You search his face for any signs of dishonesty.
“Let him go or you’ll never see me again.” It sounds too much like Clint’s arguments with his dog who brought a live squirrel into the house.
“Fine,” you relent, a glint in your eye. “but say goodbye to this fuckface.”
Before Bucky can open his mouth to shout in protest, you pull the trigger. The man clenches his eyes shut, face red.
He expects blood to be splatter across his face.
Nothing happens.
A barrage of bubbles floats into the room.
“I meant it literally,” you say, pushing him off you. “Say goodbye. He’s leaving.”
The man stumbles to the ground and Bucky doesn’t make any attempt to catch him. He scrambles to his knees, picking himself up and scurrying out the door to a hoard of reporters.
The door shuts behind him with the chime of a bell.
“You’re annoying,” Bucky states, giving a small sigh.
“I’m well aware of that.” You pull off the mask, wiping the sweat off your brow.
“Where is the agent assigned to your case?”
“Dunno. Last I saw he was crying on the driveway of my lair. I just figured he’d pick himself up later so I left him there.”
Bucky’s nose twitches.
“You weren’t actually going to kill him, were you.” He shrugs with his shoulder towards the door. It wasn’t a question, more a statement. He knew you wouldn’t.
“I could have.”
“But you weren’t going to,” he repeats.
“No,” you admit. “I wasn’t. But I’m glad to see you showed up.”
“You held someone hostage as leverage.”
“No, no. I held someone hostage and then asked to see you. They were completely unrelated.”
“You’re evil.”
“You jumped to conclusions,” you point out. “Would you like a trampoline next time? Maybe a pogo stick, you clown?”
He has a very real gun in his holster. His very real metal death arm aches to use it.
“No one else agreed to come,” he deflects.
“We both know that’s a lie. You were going to come back anyway.” You stuff the bubble gun back into the bag. “I’m deliciously irresistible.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Then beg.” You give him a smirk and he rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, you win this round, sarge.”
He doesn’t say anything. He watches you remove your heist gear, revealing normal civilian clothes underneath.
You walk casually to the kitchen, intending to leave through the back door.
“But I can’t say I lost either.” You send him a wink before swiftly pushing open the door and leaving him behind.
He only watches you leave.
It doesn’t hit him until a few seconds later that he let a criminal out of his hands when there were several policemen and journalists outside.
He entertains the idea of chasing you down and handing you over.
It takes him only a few seconds to decide that if they wanted you, they’d have to try themselves.
Next part
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#mcu fic#bucky fic#bucky barnes fic#bucky fluff#bucky barnes fluff#bucky angst#bucky barnes angst#harmless fic#winter soldier x reader#Winter Soldier#bucky barnes#bucky
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chosen last: part three
The people asked and so they shall receive
https://chiliiscereal.tumblr.com/post/650808822043115520/chosen-last
https://chiliiscereal.tumblr.com/post/651201066386554880/chosen-last-part-two
Summary: a boy takes notice of reader for the first time and Donnie is worried that he’s bad news. Little do both of them know, he’s right
Warning: mentions of attempted rape
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You felt so much better about yourself when your birthday was over. It was honestly one of the best you’d ever had. Better than the ones your friends planned anyway. You still went, but it was nothing like the party that the turtles threw. You didn’t think it could get any better.
Until, that is, something happened that almost made you change your mind.
You friend put a picture of you and her, together, up on Snapchat.
And... for the first time in your life... a guy took notice of you.
It wasn’t much. It was just “who’s that? Low key cute. Whats their snap?”
That happened to your friends.
Never to you.
Even more surprising, your friend gave him your snap.
Eric.
Eric was his name.
And he also went to your school!
You were incredibly nervous about this. Every single time a boy took interest in you it never seemed to be what your thought it was.
Last time a boy took interest in you it was ACTUALLY so they could get with your friend. That, my friends, was two years ago. Your friends blasted through boys like there was no tomorrow. But you? You’d never had someone interested in you like that.
Until now.
You talked to him and... honestly... you felt like there was something there.
He asked a lot about you and just seemed like the one, you know? You both shared the same interest in shows! You both enjoyed the same music!
Whenever he responded to you, you just couldn’t help but feel elated.
You would fall back on your bed and stare at the ceiling, feeling like this was a scene from a movie.
He didn’t wait for twenty minutes to respond to you.
He acknowledged every single thing you said.
And when he met up with you after school...
Wow.
Just wow.
He was incredibly handsome and polite.
He even held doors open for you!
You found yourself meeting up with him again and again.
It made you feel so... important.
Unfortunately, the turtles didn’t feel the same way.
————
“Who ya talkin’ to?” Leo leaned closer to look over your shoulder from his spot beside you on the couch.
It was movie night with the boys and April.
You brought you phone to your chest to obscure his view. “Hey hey hey back off!” You playfully shoved him away. “Just a friend.”
Mikey gave you a shit eating grin when he noticed the smile slipping onto your face. “Just a friend huh?” He pulled himself off the floor and reached for your phone. “Let me see let me see!”
You held it away from him to. “Woah this is my phone! Get away!”
A metal claw snatched it from your hand, retracting back to Donnie.
“And is this ‘friend’ a boy or a girl?” He opened your phone. “Ugh, what’s your password?”
You leapt off the couch and tried to grab your device back. “Does it matter?”
Donnie tapped away at the buttons, using his metal claws from his battle shell to keep you away. “No, it doesn’t matter unless it’s a BOY.” You phone buzzed slightly as it opened to your home screen. “Aha, I am in!”
Mikey and Leo both crawled over to their soft shelled brother to observe from behind him.
“Donnie, give it back.” You ordered, looking to April for help. She just shrugged and continued watching with a smirk. “Guys, come on! It’s not a big deal!”
Raph pulled himself off the floor and placed his hands on his hips. “Alright, jokes over; give the phone back.”
Donnie groaned. “Come on! I’m so close to figuring out who y/n’s talking to!”
Raph gave him a stern look. “Now. It’s private and obviously Y/n doesn’t want you looking through it.”
Donnie, Mikey, and Leo all gave him giant puppy eyes.
Raph simply held out his hand.
Donnie sighed. “Fine. Here.”
You sighed as well but in relief.
Raph took it from him, glancing down at your phone. To your dismay, it was open up to messages. “Eric Sherrin?” He asked in confusion.
“AHA!” Donnie shouted in triumph. “A name is all I need!” He began typing in the device on his wrist.
“Raph!” You accused angrily.
Ugh what were you gonna do now??
You’d never hear the end of this.
“Hey! Raph’s on your side! I didn’t know he could find out with just a name!” He held up his hands in defense.
“Eric?” April asked as she swiped through her phone. “Does he go to our school?”
You glared at Donnie before you decided whether or not to share that.
He shrugged. “Hey, I already have his social media up and every piece of information I could find. Whether or not you say will change nothing.”
“Fine.” You growled. “Yes, he goes to our school. He’s a mutual friend with my other friends.”
April raised a brow. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better.”
You shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Well it doesn’t.”
April was dead set on despising your friends. You knew she had good reason but you didn’t need it brought up now.
Leo took the computer that Donnie had sent all the information to, scrolling through Eric’s social media. “Wow, there are a lot of pictures of him holding fish.” He snorted. “Does he think that’s gonna impress people or something?”
“I’ve never understood the appeal.” Donnie shook his head. “So what? You killed an animal good for you.”
“I think it’s about killing a BIG animal.” Leo squinted at the screen. “There’s also lots of pictures of him with other girls.”
“Guys can you just stop?” You placed your hands on your hips. “It’s sweet that you’re trying to make sure he’s not some idiot but you’re invading his privacy-!”
“Woah, look what I found in his records from the school.” Donnie waved his brothers closer.
Even Raph and April did so.
“He harassed at girl at school?” Mikey repeated as he read the screen. “Really?”
“Yeah no this guy’s bad news.” Donnie shook his head in disappointment. “Y/n, give me your phone. I’ll block him for you.” He even reached his hand out expectantly.
You held your phone closer. “No, that’s just a rumor that spread at school.”
The boys stopped what they were doing.
“You knew?” Leo narrowed his eyes. “And you’re still interested?”
“He told me that the teachers didn’t believe him.” You responded as you crossed your arms. “Some girl made it up cause she didn’t like him.”
“You can’t take that risk.” Raph crossed his arms.
“Raph, I thought you were in my side!” You protested.
“That was before Raph found out that the guy harassed someone.” He defended. “Come on, you know this can’t end good.”
Your stomach burned with anger.
Anger that they felt they could order you around like that.
That they wouldn’t even let you figure it out yourself.
That this might end just like every other romantic interest would.
“Why won’t you just let me handle this myself?” You stuffed your hands in your pockets and flopped back down in the couch.
Mikey crawled into the spot next to you, wrapping his arms around you. “You’re one of our best friends! We don’t want anything to happen to you!” He gave you wide innocent eyes as if that would erase your anger.
Well... it did.
Curse him and his adorable eyes.
You rolled your eyes and hugged him back. “I know. I just want to figure this out myself.” You gave Donnie a hard glare as your rested your chin on Mikey’s shoulder.
“Fine.” He closed all the tabs on his computer grudgingly. “But I know this is just gonna end in heartbreak.”
“What a vote of confidence.” Leo snorted and plopped down in the spot next to you.
He smirked when you ignored him, still hugging Mikey.
“Hey, come on, you know you can’t stay mad at this face.” He leaned against you dramatically. “I’m the face man! You can’t resist me!” He pulled you away from Mikey and draped his arm over your shoulder. “You know you love me.”
You turned your head away from him, more playful now than spiteful.
“Come onnnnn...” he smirked. “You love meeee...”
You shoved him off the couch with a laugh. “I’m still thinking that over.”
Raph quickly took Leo’s seat as his younger brother rubbed the spot he’d landed on.
“No hard feelings?” Raph rested his arm on the couch behind you as he started the movie back up.
“Fine. No hard feelings.”
Leo moved so he was sitting on the floor and leaning against your legs.
You couldn’t stay mad at them. Well, except Donnie. You could very well stay mad at Donnie.
And it seemed that Donnie could stay mad at you as well. He left the room with all his tech, grumbling something under his breath.
“I already know how this is gonna end.” He grumbled.
“Love you to, Donnie.” You muttered, sinking into the couch.
Whatever.
He’d get over it soon enough.
————
Donnie didn’t get over it.
Whenever you came over to hang out he brought it up again casually. Well, as casually as Donnie could be, which wasn’t very casual at all.
“Ugh, this game sucks!” Mikey shouted at the tv once.
“Not as much as Eric What’s-his-face’s record.” He’d commented, giving you a glance out of the corner of his eye.
Or even:
“Ugh you can’t trust those pop up ads.” Raph told Leo when his phone had downloaded a virus after he clicked an ad.
“Just like how you can’t trust Eric.” He’d ran into the room to spit that out.
If Raph ever asked how things were going with Eric, Donnie either magically appeared next to him with a hopeful look or disappear with a groan.
You and Eric weren’t even together.
But... you hoped you would be soon.
He invited you to a party that Friday! And he’d specified that he’s invited you as his date.
Your friends were excited, surprisingly. They wanted to help you find an outfit and everything.
Finally, you felt like things were going right.
Why couldn’t Donnie just be happy for you?
——-
“Why won’t you come?” You begged April as she flopped down onto your bed.
“You’ve got Eric and all of your other friends.” She waved you off. “Besides, you know I hate parties.” She sat up slightly. “And Eric gives me the heebie jeebies.”
You rolled your eyes and held out a dress. “Yeah, yeah. Fine, I won’t make you.”
April touched the fabric of the dress with a frown. “Is this what your friends picked out for you? I thought you didn’t like dresses?”
You shrugged. “They said Eric would like it and that it looked good on me.”
April fully sat up now. “But you’re gonna be so uncomfortable in that!”
“I mean, it’s supposed to be pretty, not comfy, right?” You shrugged, slipping it on over your head. “Does it look good?” You gave her a small twirl.
“Of course it’s pretty... but its a little... much.” She shook her head. “Does Eric really deserve to see you in that?”
The last bit was playful but still...
“I think so.” You say down beside her. “I’m just so incredibly nervous and I don’t know if this is a bad idea.”
You felt exposed.
But, you also trusted that the people at the party could be trusted with that.
April draped her arm over your shoulder. “Well you look stunning.”
You smiled back at her. “Thanks.”
“Alright, girl, your party’s in twenty minutes. Ready to head out?” She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the door.
You stood up and smoothed out the dress. “Ready.”
———
You stood in front of the house nervously. You could hear the music and see the lights and people dancing. You just didn’t know if you actually were ready.
“You look hot, y/n.” Your friend told you, glancing at one of your other friends. “He’s gonna love it.”
You didn’t really love it, but if he liked it then so would you.
“Hope so.” You muttered, checking your phone.
Donnie sent you a simple text:
Don’t trust Eric and keep pepper spray on hand.
Wow, such confidence.
You ignored it and stuffed your phone in the dress pocket. You didn’t need that. You needed all the confidence you could muster.
“Wow.” A voice said from behind you, causing you to jump.
There was Eric, dressed nicely and with a charming smile on his face.
“You look hot.” He grinned.
Your stomach fluttered. “Oh, thank... thank you!”! You smoothed it out nervously.
You didn’t know if your stomach felt this way out of nerves or out of feelings for him. You really couldn’t tell.
He placed his hand over your hip and pulled you to his side. “Well Let’s head on in! Can’t wait to show you off.”
Your stomach jumped. “Well, I just wanted to wait a little,” he opened the door and dragged you in, “oh okay!”
Your friends and Eric were at your side the whole time.
You still felt as if you were on display while you and your group were dancing.
You still felt like the dress was too short when you and Eric sat down on the couch.
You felt like he was staring at you when you noticed the couples in the room kissing and making out.
“You wanna head upstairs?” He asked as he took your hand.
Your heart jumped. “No, no I’m good. Really.”
“Come on.” He nodded his head in the direction of the stairs. “It’ll be fun!”
You shook your head. “No I don’t want to go upstairs.”
He looked disappointed but you stayed confident with your choice. You didn’t want that and you weren’t ready.
He recovered quickly and dropped your hand. “Alright! I’m just gonna go talk to a friend real quick, I’ll be back.”
You sighed in relief when you realized he wouldn’t push it on you.
He got up and you pulled out your phone, trying to decide if you wanted to text Donnie back.
You settled on typing:
Yeah yeah whatever.
You saw he read it but he didn’t respond.
What was with him?
Why couldn’t he just be happy?
You glanced up, noticing Eric talking to one of your friends. You noticed him glance back at you and then back at your friend. She handed him something and he left to go to the kitchen.
You went back to your phone, waiting to see if Donnie would respond.
You just wanted your friend back.
Why couldn’t he just... ugh no you had to stop asking that. He was being too judgemental and untrusting.
There was nothing untrustworthy about Eric.
He was just being crazy...
You glanced up again, noticing Eric at the drink table. Whatever it was your friend had given him, he was slipping it in his drink.
You looked closer.
It was some sort of... powder?
When he turned back around you immediately acted like you hadn’t been watching.
He made his way to you and sat down, a drink in each hand. “I thought you looked a little thirsty, so I got you a soda!”
He handed you the red cup enthusiastically.
No, he couldn’t be trying to spike your drink. He wouldn’t do that.
But he was looking at you so expectantly.
“Oh, thank you!” You swirled the soda suspiciously. “I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to corn syrup so... sorry.” You set the drink back down.
Again, he looked disappointed. Maybe even a little mad.
“Hey, We’re gonna go upstairs and play a game!” Your friend shouted from across the room. “Wanna join?”
“What game?” You asked, feeling incredibly nervous.
“Truth or dare!” She giggled. “You’ll love it!”
Eric jumped on that idea expectantly. “Come on lets go!”
“I don’t really...”
He pulled you up before you could even finish.
You wanted to stay where people could see you!
But... you WERE gonna be with your friends...
“Alright, Fine.” You settled. “I’ll go.”
“Awesome!”
You and your group headed up and down the hallway.
Your friend opened the door for you and let you in first. Eric followed closely behind you.
It was a bedroom. A very dark bedroom.
“Hey, We’re gonna head down to the bathroom and freshen up first.” One of your friends smirked. “You two have fun!”
“Wait, no-!”
They were already gone and the door was shut.
Eric had gotten you upstairs.
Alone.
————-
Donnie sighed, trying hard to focus on his work. “Why can’t y/n just listen to me.” He groaned to himself. “I’m just trying to help! How does that make me the bad guy?”
He continued wiring his latest invention, frustrated at how he kept messing up.
“It’s not gonna end well.” He growled. “It’s gonna end in heartbreak and I’m gonna have to pick up the pieces.”
“If y/n even trusts you with that.” Leo added from behind him, causing him to jump.
“Nardo, how long have you been standing there?” He glowered at him. “I’m busy.”
Leo held up his hands in surrender. “A while. Anyway, you’re just pushing y/n away.”
“But y/n isn’t listening to me!” He protested, dropping his tool. “I’m right!”
“Maybe, but you’re also being a jerk.” He shrugged. “Maybe she’ll get her heart broken but you could at least be there for support.”
“Oh no no no I’m not supporting that relationship.” He shook his head vigorously and picked up his screwdriver.
“Not the relationship, egghead.” Leo rolled his eyes. “Our friend?”
“Oh.” Donnie tapped the table in thought. “Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have left y/n on read...”
“...And maybe go apologize?” Leo prompted.
“No she’s at a party.” He glanced around his phone, checking your location again. “Actually...” he leaned closer to stare at his screen, “y/n’s not at the party any more.”
“Perfect!” Leo clasped his hands together. “Go apologize!”
“It can’t wait?”
“Go!”
———-
You sat on the rooftop, clutching your jacket to your body and watching the city.
How could you have been so stupid.
How could have let something like that happen.
It was incredibly cold on the rooftop but you didn’t want to move. You didn’t want to go home. You CERTAINLY didn’t want to go to the lair either.
You just wanted to watch the city and pretend everything was okay again.
Why did you have to get your hopes up.
No one ever took interest in you like that unless they wanted something from you.
“Scoff, there you are!” Said the last person you wanted to talk to. “I thought you were in the building and spent about an hour searching for you.”
“Tracking device?” You asked, not even looking at him.
“Yep.” Donnie confirmed. “Now, might I inquire why you’re out here?” He glanced at his watch. “And not at your party?”
You stayed quiet.
“Something happen with Eric?”
You gave him nothing.
“I knew it!” He jumped up and cheered. “I was right! I was RIGHT! Ha!”
His every word made you feel colder and more embarrassed.
“I knew from the start! I knew he was untrustworthy!” He continued. “Eat that!”
Finally, he calmed down enough to sit next to you.
“Now, tell me, what did he do?” He leaned close expectantly. “Did he cheat? Did he kiss a girl? Did he try to get with one of your friends? Did he-?”
“He tried to rape me.” You spat out, bringing your knees to your chest.
Well I’m out of room XD
Part four up soon!
#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rottmnt oneshots#rottmnt leo#rottmnt imagine#rottmnt headcannons#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt fanfiction#tmnt x reader
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I have a request
Levi's wife y/n and 4 or 5 year old son get kidnapped by kenny and the military police. They get taken to the crystal cave with eren and historia. So when levi comes to save them he is livid and is quickly taking down every mp in his way. Luckily both y/n and her son make it out safely with levi and his squad.
Levi, y/n, and their son have a soft moment and they all hug and give kisses 😚😚😚 and day squad teases them
(I added my own little spin to this where Y/N is playfully argumentative and sometimes wild with Levi. Hope that's ok! I also thought it would be cute if Levi and Y/N’s son was named after Levi’s late friend Farlen.)
"We have more than just Historia and Eren now." Levi grunted, facing Hange. "My son and Y/N were taken as well."
"We can't wait then. We'll leave as soon as possible."
Levi squeezed the paper Hange had given him earlier in his grasp as his squad whooped and hollered behind him. Kenny probably wouldn't kill them, they were insurance after all. Which was that much worse for Levi.
He already knew if he didn't manage to calm himself before they got to Kenny he would lash out recklessly. The one thing he'd told his wife and son to never allow themselves to do.
~~~~
"Oi." Levi stepped closer, concern etched onto his face. His eyebrows scrunched where he looked into his wife's eyes. "If you continue moping around our child's health will be at risk and yours. The doctor already told you that."
She turned, eyes narrowed and lips tight where they were pulled into a frown. "What else am I supposed to feel? The father of my baby is running around dodging death. Am I supposed to be happy Levi?"
Levi rolled his eyes, his hand already coming up to the bridge of his nose in expectation for the upcoming brawl of sorts. "I'll be alive for the birth of our son."
"Will you though?" She stepped closer, challenge rising in her tone and eyes.
"I'm not leaving you or the soon to be kid we've made. And you already know that." He fought back. "I'd sooner go back to the underground."
Her hands ran up to his collar tugging him closer. And he let her, let every bit of fury trapped beneath those stone cold eyes run over his spine like a flash of lightning all with the same neutral expression.
"I'm so serious you wouldn't even believe. If you don't come back one of these days and I have to raise this baby all on my own. I'm gonna bring you back to life just so I can kill you again. Do you hear me Levi Ackerman?"
Levi let out a little huff and a small smirk ran over his lips. She let him go and he straightened out his collar. "You get scarier everyday." He remarked "Way scarier than any damn titan."
He grabbed her wrist, pulling her down the mostly empty corridor. "You saw the doctor again today right? Tell me what happened."
"We've got a healthy Ackerman on our hands. He's grown bigger than he's supposed to be at this stage actually." She smiled softly as she placed a hand on her belly. "Probably cause he has your blood."
"Tch, moron. He's already his mother. Constantly kicking every time I touch your belly. He's gonna be a brat just like you."
"I hope he gets my height and not yours."
"For his sake your height instead of your mouth would be good."
"My mouth has gotten you through many long nights so I wouldn't complain if I were you."
Levi playfully rolled his eyes as Y/N's soft laugh filled the corridor. Her eyes shining brighter than they had her whole pregnancy. It was weird Levi had always heard about new parents being scared but he barely was.
When he'd found out he'd been more surprised than anything but he'd barely even had the time to over analyze the situation until that night. This unbelievably wild girl was the mother of his child. What more could he want.
Fear did dawn on him. Knowing he'd have something new in this world that needed his protection. Something so precious and small to protect. But another part of him knew that kid would be safer if he got his mother's fighting spirit.
"Hey, you better not be thinking about other girls." Y/N huffed as she poked at Levi's forehead.
Levi grabbed her finger. "Dumbass, no one else would be able to handle you if I left."
"Just sounds like you're making excuses so that you don't have to tell me, you adore me and could never find anyone else who brings you this much joy."
"No." That barely even scratched the surface..
~~~~
"Do you have a location on them?" Hange asked
"There're a whole bunch of military police and Kenny's squad is surrounding the entire area. But no sign of Kenny himself or any of the people who were taken." Sasha replied
Levi huffed, brain not wanting to retreat to the worst possible scenario. Besides the conversation currently developing in front of him there was a sort of quiet drifting in the atmosphere.
"We have a plan right?" Armin suddenly asked
And Hange nodded, "You're gonna need these." Her hands clasped around the cool metal of the signal flares.
"Signal flares??" Jean stared in disbelief
"Don't worry, we're getting out of here alive hostages and all." Hange stated before turning to Levi. "They're ok."
Levi blinked, slowly but surely uncurling his fists. He looked around to the others their faces a mix of concern and in certain cases glee. But they all had the same sentiment.
"Put the plan into motion." Levi stood
~~~~
It went surprisingly quickly. From the barrels they'd deployed to the signal flares being shot off. Sasha and Mikasa taking out the military police like no one's business but Levi could already feel his Ackerman rage growing.
Where the hell was Kenny? He thought.
His question was soon answered when a bullet flew past his cheek immediately drawing blood. The next bullet striking an ice pillar with a hard crack as he ducked for cover behind it.
Levi paused repositioning himself to jump and land behind one another of the thick pillars searching for the source of the bullets. "Where the hell are they?" He grunted voice raspy, thick and loud where he called to the only person that would be behind this.
Kenny's laugh was boisterous, heavy where it bounced between each pillar. The amount of sweat that had collected on Levi's palms had his weapon slippery in his grip and the vein in his forehead was close to popping.
"I think you have other things here you should be concerning yourself with."
In the blink of an eye Levi's head shot backwards, Jean's scream mixed with the heart shattering sound of Hange hitting one of the pillars caught his attention. A bullet releasing her blood as she slipped and rolled over against the ground like a discarded toy.
"Tch!"
"Levi! Oi you should be worried about me. After all. Your little family dies by my call!"
If Levi was boiling before his blood was erupting now. With incredible skill and speed he bounced his way around the pillars dodging each bullet as Kenny shot them out. His agility raised as he flipped over Kenny's form and behind him. In an instant Levi was tossing a bag full of flammable liquid in time to meet his next shot.
When the bag tore open Levi flew forward, through burning flames created by Kenny's gun tossing his blade. The motion caught Kenny off guard but he managed to dodge it, his hat flying off into a nearby pillar along with Levi's blade to hold it up there.
Levi's heart was hammering taking the advantage he'd managed to get he flew at Kenny with incredible speed slicing through his torso almost like it was butter. In the heat of adrenaline Levi watched as Kenny's body fell to the ground of the cool cavern.
He landed with a hard breath before retracting the odm gears hooks. He couldn't wait any longer. He couldn't stop himself from running forward no matter how stupid and dangerous it was.
He heard bits and pieces of speech behind him. "Follow Captain!" And "Wait, hold on!" But none of it stopped his feet.
He skidded in his pace as he heard soft calls of, "Dad! Dad!"
And he was immediately headed for it. A bit of relief flooding his chest as he heard the faint sounds of odm gear clanging behind him. His squad clearly keeping good pace.
When he arrived he instantly locked eyes with his five year old son and wife.
"Dad!" Farlen's voice echoed. He didn't look injured from what Levi could tell and neither did Y/N. Farlen's hair tosseled as if he'd merely been running outside.
"Where are Historia and Eren?!" Mikasa called as she ran up behind Levi.
"Guys!" Historia's voice boomed. She slunk forward barely supporting Eren's weight. His shirt gone and his face covered in blood.
Levi quickly ran to untie Y/N and Farlen immediately embracing Farlen when he jumped into his arms. If he were any other kid Levi would probably be questioning why he hadn't shit his pants and why his face was tearless. But he definitely wasn't any other five year old.
"Geez, you guys took forever." Y/N remarked, stretching her hands above her head. "I was about to wreck all these Military brats butts for you." She said with a smirk at Levi.
Levi huffed, rubbing his son's back. "Next time you can save yourself then." He remarked giving Farlen a soft head rub.
"Ugggh Mom.. Dad not now.." he sighed
"There won't be a next time!" Y/N fought back. "I'll never get caught up like that again."
"Tch, whatever."
"Are you challenging me Mr. Ackerman?"
"You're a brat, Ms. Ackerman."
"How about I show you how much of a brat I can really be?" She chuckled with a dark smile etching over her features. She pulled him closer, hugging his and Farlen's form with a firm hand on Levi's lower back.
"Don't start something you can't finish." Levi whispered back.
"Ewwwwww.." Farlen mock gagged between them.
Y/N just laughed loudly. "You'll understand when you have someone you love to hate, Farlen."
"Yeah.. I'm with Farlen. That's eww." Connie remarked with a shake of his head.
The others soon joined in with their own little laughs and teasing words. "I can't believe how soft Captain can be." And "They're such a cute family I hope I get that some day."
Levi repositioned Farlen on one arm ignoring all the chatter. Though his cheeks bloomed a rosy color that was extremely unmistakable "Historia, where's your father?"
"He escaped before you guys got here. He's headed toward the wall." She replied
"We've gotta hurry then."
(I'm so sick of people on the internet rn I swear🙄)
#aot x reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi x reader#shingeki no kyoujin x reader#attack on titan#levi ackerman#levi x y/n#shingeki no kyoujin levi#snk x reader#levi imagine#levi ackerman scenario#levi ackerman headcanons
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obey me cast + their genshin mains
i woke up at like three in the morning and scribbled this all down
not a formal writing piece so i haven’t formatted it like one, but i thought this was a fun idea!!
lucifer: diluc
they both have Fatherly Issues (in very different ways though)
probably inwardly makes fun of diluc for not liking wine
doesn’t really have any emotional attachment??? he just keeps diluc because he does a lot of damage and helps kill enemies quick
he actually has pretty good luck with getting 5 stars before he’s even hit pity, but he has awful luck on the event banners in terms of getting the featured 5 star - he’s never once won the 50/50 when he actually reaches it
gets really good artifact and weapon drops though so all of his levelled-up characters have super overpowered kits
he’s never actually looked up any recommended character builds, he’s just smart enough to figure out what all the stats mean and build his characters accordingly
has not touched his serenitea pot since he got it
not actually great with battle strategy and elemental reaction, he just tries to hit as hard as he can at all times
all of his characters are built dps because he doesn’t know how to build supports or healers
never teleports anywhere (he still hasn’t even unlocked half the waypoints)
didn’t realise the statues of seven healed until really late into the game
doesn’t bother with the reputation quests/bounties
all of his characters are still on that black glider that amber first gives you
it took him ages to finish the archon quest in mondstadt because he didn’t want to go into the cathedral
mammon: zhongli
accidentally got zhongli on like his very first event wish and has mained him ever since
he thinks it’s really funny that zhongli never has money (even though he also often has no money)
apart from that he likes the idea of playing the character that literally makes all the mora in teyvat
was actually considering switching after he finished the liyue archon quests because he absolutely hated how zhongli handled the whole thing but he didn’t want to give up that big pp damage
still doesn’t know that you can climb up onto dvalin in the stormterror battle
mixes and matches artifacts, but the ones he does use have really good stats and sub stats though so the lack of a set bonus doesn’t make much difference
didn’t realise you could increase talent levels until ar 50
loves doing the blossoms of wealth and hasn’t let his mora drop below 100k ever since he accidentally used it all up levelling his team to lv60
immediately does a wish as soon as he gets enough primos, unless it’s an event banner for a character he doesn’t like
he also ignores the story and hangout quests for the characters he doesn’t like
dabbles in the serenitea pot but doesn’t have the patience to really commit to it
forgets to do his commissions until the very last minute and lets his resin fill up to 160 before remembering that he’s not supposed to let it get full
is terrified of spiral abyss on a molecular level
levi: barbara
he loves idols so of course barbara is his favourite
has her built dps and does more vaporise damage with her charged attacks than some people’s 5 star bursts
ended up building lisa as a dps too because she makes fighting the oceanid for the cleansing hearts much easier
somehow still gets barbara to heal enormous chunks of hp as well??
has all three of her talents crowned, she’s lv90 and so is her 5 star weapon, plus all of her artifacts are +20
he likes getting the event 5 stars even if he’s never going to build them, they just make him feel superior in his luck
has really bad artifact drops which makes him really frustrated because he knows exactly how to build his characters with the perfect stats, he just can’t get the right artifacts!!!!!
keeps getting crit dmg, crit rate and atk% sub stats on defence circlets and it makes him die a little more on the inside each time
he despises jean because of how she makes barbara feel and desperately wants mihoyo to make a moment where jean tries to fight something but fails and barbara then steps in and takes it down immediately
never gets barbara’s constellations with makes him very upset because he wants c6 so BAD
nearly cried when he got barbara’s happy birthday voiceline
somehow got his serenitea pot to adeptal energy 20k within like two weeks but it doesn’t look good?? it’s just a whole bunch of 4 star furnishings shoved wherever there’s room
is pretty much always online at any given time
has nearly every single achievement in the game (goddammit just GIVE HIM THE RELIABLE HELPER COMMISSION)
satan: diona
this is not up for debate
he saw her in the character archive and immediately decided that if he didn’t get her he was quitting the game
luckily for him it was xiao’s banner around this time and he managed to get c3 diona from that alone
much like levi with barbara, he managed to build her so that she does enormous amounts of damage but still performs her shielding/healing really well
he prioritises her over everyone else but because of this diona is still his only fully-built character
all talents crowned, all artifacts +20, etc
hates draff with all his heart and refuses to buy anything from him
will murder you if you refer to diona as a loli in front of him
i’m aware keqing also sort of looks like she has cat ears but as far as i know that’s just her hair???
if anything i feel like satan wouldn’t like her because he’s offended that people think those chunk of hair look remotely like a cat’s cute lil ears
chose all his other team members based solely on whether or not their skill set would benefit diona
refuses to use any of the characters lucifer uses and got legitimately angry when he found out lucifer had started building diona to help with spiral abyss
spends like five minutes at a time making diona jump into water because he thinks the cannon ball animation is the cutest thing in the world
if a boss he’s fighting manages to kill diona, he gets so angry that he pretty much obliterates it immediately after
asmo: lisa
partially because she’s pretty and her personality is right up his alley, and partially out of pettiness because he sees so many people slandering her
doesn’t know how to build anyone, he’s only got a good lisa build out of sheer luck
none of his other characters have remotely good builds. like, maiden’s beloved on tartaglia?? really, asmo???
squealed when lisa called traveller a cutie
talks to her while he’s running about doing quests or battles
plays pretty sparingly so his ar is relatively low and he barely has any characters outside the starters
usually gets levi to one shot the bosses for him when he needs to ascend/upgrade the talents of his characters
(levi agrees because it gives him a pretty big power trip)
he also likes kaeya and has him in his team but lisa’s magic is just so pretty to him
spends all his primos on the standard banner trying to get lisa constellations but he still only has c4
all of the solo boss battles he’s won were only won out of sheer luck
adores the concept of the serenitea pot, but he doesn’t like a lot of the furnishings available
desperately wants a character customisation function
died seven times trying to do the stormterror fight and had to have levi do it for him in the end
still doesn’t done any of the story quests that you need a key for
spends most of his free time finding some pretty landscapes, changing the time, and taking pictures of lisa doing one of her idles against the sunset
beel: xiangling
decided he liked her as soon as he did her story quest
he’s only gotten up to floor 4 of spiral abyss because he only did floor 3 to get her
still only has c2 :((((
always has to have snacks with him while he’s gaming because xiangling’s voice lines remind him of how hungry he is
desperately wishes she was real because he wants to taste how good her food is for himself
likes cooking a bunch of dishes in-game, but he also gets frustrated because they all look so GOOD and he can’t eat them
doesn’t really know how building works but he does vaguely know what stats are good and how set bonuses work
doesn’t like hu tao because she’s mean to xiangling >:( plus belphie despises her and beel rarely likes anything his twin dislikes
is low-key upset that xiangling’s story quest was so early in the game because he didn’t appreciate it enough at the time and he hasn’t seeb her in-game for ages
still doesn’t have any 5 stars apart from the traveller, but he does have literally every 4 star in the game
is the type to bring xiangling to pyro domains but luckily she does some pretty good physical dmg as well so his teammates don’t get as mad
takes some time out of every day to find every food/ingredient vendor in the game and buy out their entire stock
still has never run out of mora somehow????
belphie: qiqi
i made this choice partially because of that one halloween belphie ur where he’s dressed up in a jiangshi costume
aside from that i feel like she just sends his big brother instincts haywire
he cried a little bit when he read her backstory, not gonna lie
like satan, he will kill you if you call qiqi a loli
somehow managed to build her as a physical dps that does like 5000 per hit?????
(he has unholy artifact luck and all of qiqi’s artis have atk, crit dmg and crit rate as their stats and sub-stats, plus aquila favonia)
he started out building her as an all-around dps but then he realised that her burst and skill couldn’t do much in terms of damage since they’re healing-oriented, so he decided to build her physical since that the only type of dmg she can constantly apply
and qiqi still heals reliably because her healing is scaled off her attack, which is like monstrously high???
qiqi hates hu tao so of course belphie does too
he still refuses to do her story quest and didn’t touch her banner or character trial
really really wants a qiqi banner for constellations but is aware that that is incredibly unlikely
doesn’t trust baizhu and wants zhongli to adopt qiqi since he seems like a much more reliable dad
heard the theory that xiao is the adeptus that killed qiqi and therefore also despises him even though it hasn’t even been concerned or anything
diavolo: eula
don’t get me wrong diavolo definitely gives me pyro vibes but i feel like he’d just feel so bad for how the mondstadters misunderstand and mistreat eula in her story quest that he’d immediately go to spend all his primos on wishing for her
he’s got r2 broken pines and a full pale flame artifact set with some pretty decent stats and substats on her so she does pretty enormous damage
it’s lucky that eula’s move set doesn’t require anything too strategic because all diavolo does is button mash
all of his characters are physical damage dealers because he doesn’t really know how to do elemental reactions
(because of this though he’s awful at fighting a lot of the bosses, especially the oceanid)
his favourite boss battle is the weekly golden house trounce domain because he can always smack childe down really quickly
he’s stinking rich so he can afford to spend just about as much money as he wants to get any character he wants
like he got all the way to pity on eula’s banner and lost the 50/50 to mona but he just bought more primos and got all the way to pity again to get eula
on the other hand he got broken pines twice in two ten rolls on the weapon banner and he wasn’t anywhere near pity for that
he joined levi along with satan and asmo to have a go at doing the golden house fight in co-op and he managed to pretty much oneshot a lv90 childe in phase 1 and phase 3 with just eula’s burst
(he spent phase 2 recharging it)
barbatos: venti
this is at least 70% because venti is also called barbatos
he somehow knows pretty much everything there is to know about building characters well and he’s built venti with both attack and elemental mastery
got venti on his first banner and managed to get to c4 on his rerun
doesn’t appreciate how much venti drinks and actively buys the non-alcoholic juices from angel’s share to give him as if that’ll help????
is terrified of fighting the wolf because it’s immune to anemo
(don’t ask how he managed to get the hurricane seeds for ascending venti)
can pretty much fire off venti’s burst as soon as it’s over because his energy recharge is somehow also insane
diligently collects all the recipes and masters every single one of them
his serenitea pot is literally so perfect looking????? i don’t know how to describe it everything just fits together flawlessly
diavolo offers to buy him primos because he’s got more than enough money but barbatos doesn’t wish a whole lot so he usually refuses
(diavolo knew he mained venti and liked him though so he bought him a bunch for the rerun anyway)
he still doesn’t have any five star weapons but stringless works really well on venti anyway so he doesn’t mind
doesn’t really like co-op, prefers to just wander around in his own world
simeon: yanfei
simeon definitely gives me hydro vibes and he probably mained a hydro before yanfei, but i feel like he happened to get her on zhongli’s banner and decided he really liked her as soon as he started trying her out
he adores her little ‘boom boom!’
she also works really well doing big damage with vaporise which is good because simeon plays a lot with luke, who mains barbara
he low key identifies with how yanfei doesn’t want to focus on her identity as an immortal half-adeptus because simeon himself often wants to forget the fact that he’s a divine being and just live peacefully
often forgets that yanfei gets a lot of her dmg from charged attacks and just keeps doing normal attack combos until he registers the scarlet seals and realises he needs to hold the button down
nearly all of his characters were basically backseat-built by levi and solomon
even though his team is pretty powerful he still dies a bunch because his battle strategy is just ‘stand there and keep hitting the attack button until it dies’
keeps running off of cliffs and forgetting to plunge/glide and just dying to fall damage
back when he was like ar20 he accidentally wandered into liyue early and immediately got killed by a treasure hoarder
spent like ten minutes of his first stormterror fight just running off the end of his platform before someone told him he was meant to glide
luke: barbara as well
if you’ve seen my post about barbara and luke being siblings you’ll understand why i’ve made this choice
aside from that luke just likes barbara because she’s one of the nicest characters in the game
plus she’s a deaconess in a church and he’s an angel so
unlike levi he’s got her built purely as a healer, but she heals so MUCH
luke’s entire team is just support characters?? but their support is so good that they kind of make each other dpses in their own right??
his strategy is to keep his whole team at full hp and deal relatively small but very steady increments of damage
unfortunately this means he isn’t great at the artifact and weapon/character enhancement domains because they’ve got time limits
wants to have a pretty serenitea pot but he just can’t get it to look how he wants it to
like levi, he doesn’t like jean because of how she makes barbara feel (and also how jean just refuses to take any sort of older sister role for her)
got her to c6 on a single event banner because she just kept coming home (he wasn’t complaining though)
is contemplating building her dps because he thinks it’d be cool if she did a bunch of damage like levi’s barbara
likes to just sit and wait for her to do her dancing idle because he thinks it’s cute (will immediately make her move and cut off the other one though because it’s about jean and he doesn’t like her)
solomon: albedo
they both look sensible but they’re both just mad scientists on the inside
doesn’t really know how albedo’s burst and skill work, just keeps tapping buttons whenever they’re available
if he didn’t have albedo he’d probably main a catalyst but he relates to how curious albedo is about just about everything
(plus he does like his design)
always gets the limited time 5 star on his first ten pull on the event banners????? is he using his magic somehow??????
and also somehow gets really good weapons and artifacts????
he knows enough about artifacts to know what to put on who so all of his characters are really well built
he’s the type with eight lv90 5-stars with lv90 5-star weapons and fully upgraded artifact sets in his character showcase
his signature is ‘hack me i dare you’
constantly getting friend requests from fellow players who want an op friend to help them in domains and against bosses
but unfortunately even if solomon has a bunch of overpowered characters he is very bad at using them
gets all the elemental reactions wrong, uses the wrong element against the wrong enemy, forgets to do things like putting albedo’s skill down before his ult, and he can’t aim with any of the archers
like i said he just taps buttons and hopes for the best
because of this he’s still at floor 6 in spiral abyss
#obey me#genshin impact#obey me x genshin#swd lucifer#swd mammon#swd leviathan#swd satan#swd asmodeus#swd beelzebub#swd belphegor#swd diavolo#swd barbatos#swd luke#swd simeon#swd solomon#genshin diluc#genshin zhongli#genshin barbara#genshin diona#genshin lisa#genshin xiangling#genshin qiqi#genshin eula#genshin yanfei#genshin venti#genshin albedo#crossover!#not a proper writing post
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when they’re drunk [shamrock special ☘️]
featuring: captains and vice captains (aka kuroo, bokuto, akaashi, sugawara, and kita)
mentions of drinking and general drunk antics. hope everyone who celebrated had a fun and safe st. patrick’s day!
kuroo
he’s really fun and entertaining when he starts feeling his drinks
he likes to dance and really gets into it
if you’re lucky, you might even see him try to twerk or throw it back
he mostly likes dancing with you though
more like watching you dance and have fun
you’re someone who prefers to stay in a little more but you haven’t regretted going out with him and all your friends since the first weekend
kuroo liked going out with you for many reasons
his number one begin that you always looked so beautiful when you get dressed up to go out
his brain’s like, “that’s my gorgeous s/o right there”
but sometimes other people take too much notice of it for his liking and he gets a little protective over you
one time you and he were waiting for drinks at the bar and there was someone standing on the opposite side of kuroo
they lean over and decide to say hi to you and you said hi back, just to be polite
kuroo just ignored them until you got your drinks and they try to cheers with you and keep talking to you as if kuroo’s not even there
so when you’re not looking, he decides to talk to them
“hey, that’s my s/o you’re talking to so i need you to back off >>:(”
he almost gets into a fight with the guy but instead goes back over to you
“i didn’t do anything, babe. can i please kiss you?”
(this gets a little more heated than just one kiss)
but he’s enjoying it knowing that the guy should be blessed to watch him make out with the most attractive person there
when you’re leaving to find your car and he’s pretty smashed at this point, he’s always losing things
“babe? babyyy where did you go-- oh, you’re right behind me, haha”
“oh my god, babe, we have to go back. i can’t find my phone!”
he finds it like two minutes later, but enjoys your hands feeling all over him to try to locate it
he’s also very, very flirty when he’s drunk
presses you up against the car when you find it
“i’m not irish but...can you kiss me anyway?”
bokuto
loud and chaotic, for the most part
loves a good game of beer pong or slap cup
even when he’s drunk, he gets really serious about the game
most of the time he wants you to play with him, even if you’re not that good or confident in your pong abilities
but if you don’t play, he still likes to involve you somehow
definitely the type to have you kiss the ball for ‘good luck’
(after he’s cleaned it off on his shirt, of course)
he swears by that when he makes it in but it’s also because he’s ‘just awesome’
and if there’s karaoke, well, everyone else should just go home
because this man will sing all night if he has to
he really gets into it and that’s what makes him pretty good at it
you have a video of him passionately singing ‘fergalicious’
you’re very tempted to post it on tiktok
honestly, he’d probably let you, especially when he kills the rapping part of the song
truly the life of the party
but he checks up on you every now and then
“are you having fun, babe?”
and if you’re not, he wouldn’t let you leave alone and would go home with you if you wanted
either way, he also makes sure to spend plenty of time with you, which is usually more when he’s bored of games towards the end of the night
he gets kinda emotional and cheesy at that point
“thank you for coming out with me. you’re the best!”
“you know what, babe? i think it’s so amazing that me, the bestest guy, got paired with you, the bestest person ever!”
“i just love you a lot, okay? :’)”
you can always count on him if you want to have a fun night out
akaashi
very calm and relaxed
but he gets very needy and clingy when you’re with him
he tries to socialize if he’s out with you and others but he prefers to stay by your side, touching you delicately somewhere
usually a hand on your lower back or around your hip or an arm slung around your shoulders
when you’re not around him, like when you’re in the bathroom or getting a drink, he’s still watching out for you
it’s just a little habit he has, making sure no one messes with you or your drink
he also likes to have bokuto around because he knows he can count on him to help intervene if anything does happen
he trusts you though and knows you can handle yourself pretty well
tries to dance but isn’t the greatest at it
but he also doesn’t like when it’s in a tight space area with a ton of people and the air is hot because it fogs up his glasses
and at the end of the night when he’s all good and liquored up
his neediness is at like level 1000
it’s like the alcohol makes it very salient in his mind that, “wait, i have an s/o and i love them so much”
so he feels like he has to tell you all things he loves about you as you’re leading him outside to catch an uber
also gets this swoon-worthy, half-lidded expression with a goofy smile to match
“you’re so beautiful, you know that?”
“and so kind. you take such good care of me, baby”
your face gets all hot and you can’t hide your smile
you don’t even care if it’s the drinks talking bc he’s still the sweetest boy around
and when you tell him you love him, he looks like he’s about to cry as he hugs you impossibly tight
“aww baby, i love you, too. so much.”
he keeps an arm around you, making sure you’re warm as you wait for the uber
(but also to keep himself steady)
leans against you during the car ride home and whispers sweet nothings in your ear as he occasionally kisses your cheek
sugawara
he’s the all-around type and a mix of the previous three
loves to dance, play games, drunkenly yell traditional cheers and songs
but he also very much enjoys and appreciates your company
can also be very flirty at times
“you look really good tonight. did i tell you that, sugar?”
he’s not much of a fighter or one for conflict in general, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get protective over you
if anyone tries to chat you up or mess with you, he’ll try to get you out of there in the most discrete way possible
he’ll be like, “oh hey, there you are, babe! we’re over here-- oh, who’s this?”
usually, the other person will take the hint by then and back off
but if they seem more bold and persistent, he’ll just wrap an arm around your shoulders and lead you away while saying to them, “nope, sorry, that’s not happening”
unfortunately, his sweet face doesn’t help too much, so it’s nice when asahi’s also around for some intimidation tactics
he doesn’t usually like to stay out too late and likes to get home early enough so that he can spend more time alone with you
he’s a big fan of eating or cooking something after a night out
or going to some random convenience store and drunk buying a bunch of junk food for you both
a lot of times you end up staying up late watching something and usually, it’s a random movie
but the alcohol always wins and you’re both asleep on the couch before the movie even finishes
he never sleeps that well when he’s been drinking so he wakes up to turn off the tv
he’s too inebriated to carry you to bed so he makes sure you’re comfortable and warm with him on the couch
but that usually causes you to wake up and he tries to remain as quiet as possible, his voice at a whisper
“oh, i’m sorry i woke you, sugar. c’mere, lay down on me”
the pressure from your body on his helps to stop the spins and get him to sleep more peacefully
kita
he’s a man of moderation and not usually a heavy drinker or makes sure he’s drinking plenty of water between drinks
however, that doesn’t mean there aren’t times where he has a little too much fun
it’s a common occurrence when he’s hanging with his old teammates
prefers a simple and quieter drinking game, like kings, instead of ones where he’d have to clean up a lot afterward
he doesn’t dance much either
he’s more out of it than anything
suna has plenty of pictures and videos of him apologizing to a house plant for ‘bumping into it’
he also wanders around a lot and gets himself lost
one time you found him in a lonely room, laying on a couch
“oh, love, there you are! did they-- did they send you in here?”
you’re like ‘who??’
you sit down and put his head in your lap
as he tells you how he went to look for water but found this room and decided to lay down
“and someone came in here and tried to lay my head in their lap and touch my face. i think maybe they tried to kiss me too.. but i said, ‘no you can’t do that because i have an s/o. don’t you know that?’ and then i told them to go tell you that i’m in here.”
you tell him that no one told you but that you were looking for him
“well, i’m glad you found me”
he leans up and tries to snuggles into your shoulder
“why would they even come in here? couldn’t they see i was laying down? also, i’m pretty sure everyone here knows that we’re together so why would they do that when you’re the only one i want?”
he becomes kinda emotional and inquisitive about it but you think it’s adorable
even if he’s a little out of it when he’s been drinking, he still knows to put up boundaries when necessary
you stay there with him for a little bit longer, eventually laying down with him on top of you, his head on your chest
“let me know if i’m too heavy, okay?”
you kiss his head and rub his back soothingly
you’re actually kinda looking forward to taking care of him when you get home
because he always takes such good care of you <3
just our luck that it’s haikyuu night, huh? send a request for more luck!
#haikyuu x reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo fluff#kuroo headcanon#bokuto x reader#bokuto fluff#bokuto headcanon#akaashi x reader#akaashi fluff#akaashi headcanon#sugawara x reader#sugawara fluff#sugawara headcanon#kita x reader#kita fluff#kita headcanon#tommybaholland
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I might be back on my bullshit thinking about Louis [as if I ever stopped] and episode 2 again. Like... there are a lot of things that could’ve been handled better when it comes to ep2, but can we just appreciate his apology to Clementine during the archery scene?
[note: this turned into a bit of a rant, and for that, I apologize]
It still baffles me that he gets dismissed as a shitbird by portions of the fandom to this day for being upset with Clem and AJ when he just found out his best friend gave away the twins, murdered Brody and tried to pin it on Clementine to cover his tracks... only to then be murdered by AJ after he already gave up, shot him in the back of the head right in front of everyone and left Louis heartbroken and traumatized.
Like I understand that some of y’all think Clementine and AJ should never be held accountable for anything they do and they’re always right, even when they’re in the wrong because you’re the player projecting yourself onto them and everyone who is mean to you is a stupid head unless they’re mean in the right way.
Or you’re one of those violentine stans who feels like the only way to validate your ship is to create this narrative that Louis is a traitor and Clementine would never love him after he voted for them to leave as if the only way you know how to make Violet look good is to make Louis bad by comparison instead of like... y’know, being one of the decent stans who explain and gush about the positives of the ship itself and why they love it rather obsessing over the other ship.
Either way, you’re really gonna look at that situation of Louis reacting to his best friend’s death after what just went down and be like “calm down, Louis, you’re being a jerk :/” like.... I’m sorry?
Aren’t you the same people who complained about Luke not giving a shit about Nick’s death back in s2? how he didn’t have a reaction? In fact, aren’t you also the same people who vigorously defended Kenny for his reaction to Sarita’s death after he lashed out at Clementine? Remember? When he yelled at her and called her a stupid fucking kid who thinks she can just get anyone killed and it’s okay because she said sorry? but it’s fine because Kenny’s reacting in a realistic way that makes sense for his character and he later apologizes for it?
but now here you are, getting a realistic reaction out of Louis that makes sense with his character and all of a sudden, you don’t like it? You want him to just be like “Oh no, Marlon.... anyway.” Really?
Louis is hurt, he’s pissed and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s so shaken by what the hell just happened, Marlon’s dead body is bleeding out on the ground, Ruby’s talking about getting fucking medicine as if that’s gonna do anything, Violet waving her cleaver around at them even though literally none of them were looking at AJ they were all looking at Clementine, Violet you are not helping anyone in this situation, you’re only making it worse and adding to the aggression... but no, Louis shouldn’t be a fucking mess right now. He should just shrug his shoulders and be like “Welp, this is fine.”
Then there’s the damn funeral. Look, Clementine and AJ shouldn’t have been there. I know they had to be for story purposes, but it’s such a bad idea that it makes Violet, the one who wanted them there, look like an ass who has no regard for anyone other than herself, Clementine and AJ, and those who agree with her... which is only Tenn and I guess everyone else sucks and their feelings are invalid because no one else wanted them there since it’s not a good idea to have Marlon’s murderer attend his funeral and if you believe that isn’t going to piss people off or make them uncomfortable, then either you don’t care or you don’t know how to read a room.
And by the way, Louis wasn’t the one who suggested voting them out. He wasn’t even there when MITCH said they should take a vote and everyone agreed to it. So why is it that Louis gets all this blame for how the vote turned out? Oh, Louis is such a traitor because he’s the reason they got kicked out.... except no?
First of all, if you’re so mad at Louis then how come you’re not mad at Ruby? She voted them out, too. So did Omar. They contributed to kicking them out. How come no one else talks about how much they hate them after they said having the vote was a fair idea and then voted them out? Oh, and Willy, too. Willy voted them out. The only other person who gets heat for the vote is Mitch, and he was the one who came up with the idea in the first place... but no one else, huh?
Also, how come only Violet gets praise for wanting Clementine and AJ to stay? Never see anyone talk about how amazing Aasim is after he was the third vote for them. He has legit reasons for wanting them around, too, but he didn’t want them at the funeral either so what, does that cancel out his vote for you? Where is the Aasim love?
Then we got the dorms where Louis and Violet come to escort them away, and once again, I have to mention that both of them are wrong in this situation. They’re on the extreme opposites where Violet thinks they should stay because they didn’t do anything wrong, and Louis thinks they should leave because AJ’s dangerous. Both of these view points make sense with their characters.
However, I guess some conveniently ignore how conflicted Louis is about the whole thing and how he’s feeling about it because it doesn’t fit with the narrative they’re trying to push about his character.
Again, he’s dealing with a lot of shit right now only to be constantly invalidated by Violet, who keeps telling him what a shithead he is for hurting about this, how he’s just burying his head in the sand again and all this other shit, and he eventually snaps at her and says AJ’s dangerous, which hurts AJ and it’s all over Louis’ face that he realizes he snapped and he feels bad about it.
But Louis never got aggressive with them, he never laid a hand on them, and he was there to escort them out in the woods. And that argument of “he sent them out there to die therefore Clementine and AJ should hate him, Clem shouldn’t want any friendly/romantic relationship with him because he put AJ at risk and got him shot” is.... I dunno, ugh? It’s ugh. You act like Louis did this to intentionally get them hurt when that’s not true.
Clementine and AJ have survived on their own for years, so it makes sense that Louis would try to justify this to himself like “they’ll make it out there, they’ll survive because they’ve done this before... this is for the best for everyone” and no, him telling them that this is probably like going home for them isn’t okay, but it makes sense for his character because he doesn’t actually know how bad it is out there.
None of them know, they’ve all lived in walls their whole lives. It’s naïve of him, yes, but it makes sense and he didn’t do this with shitty intentions of wanting them to get hurt. He didn’t know that Lilly and Abel would be out there, he didn’t know AJ would get shot, he didn’t know any of it. He didn’t think that if they voted them out, this would happen. He was struggling with his feelings about them and saying goodbye to someone he was starting to feel a connection with.
And he let them back in. Hell, he carried AJ into the school himself when they showed up wounded and you still wanna call him an asshole and a traitor? He could’ve said nope, get the hell out. We kicked you out, you’re not welcome here.
He didn’t do that, he ran to them to see if they’re okay, he brought AJ to Ruby and stayed with him the entire time Clem was in the office with Violet.... AND he apologized to AJ, quietly begging for him to be okay... and when he’s faced with Clementine after what happened, he doesn’t know what to say to her. He can’t even look at her because he feels so ashamed of himself and feels all the blame for this.
This is a moment that ties back to backstory. Louis’ emotions overpowered him, he made a decision and now AJ is shot and bleeding on the couch.... when he came to the school, they [the staff, I assume] said these kids were bad people, they told Louis that he was bad after what he did to his parents and he internalized that, and this whole this just reaffirms that idea “I am bad, I hurt people, this is my fault.” He blames himself for everything even though there’s no way he could’ve known. You can feel Louis’ genuine concern for AJ and how he’s doing, but at the same time, he’s trying to distance himself from Clementine… and well, sorta failing since he brings her clothes and they have the conversation in the dorms.
Then the archery scene.... y’know, the scene I was gonna make a simple little post about that somehow turned into this.
Once again we have Louis and Violet arguing because that’s what they do now, and Violet continues to tell him to get over himself without listening to anything he says, and he goes to practice archery so that y’know... when the raiders come he can use a weapon to help defend them since he’s not very good with it and needs practice.
Clem goes to check on him, and Louis apologizes for voting them out, explains that when AJ shot Marlon, he blamed Clementine when that wasn’t the right thing to do. He had a lot going on emotionally on top of what was happening around him, but after having two weeks to work through things alone, even though he’ll never be happy Marlon died, he can understand why AJ thought it was the right thing to do... and if he could take everything back, he would. He knew that the moment they came back, and he still does.
I just.... how often does Clementine ever get an actual apology from anyone who has hurt her? A real apology from someone who means it and then doesn’t just turn around and repeat the same hurtful actions? Like... it baffles me that people will look at this genuine apology and tell him to fuck off, but will accept and continue to adore someone like Kenny who will apologize for hurting Clem, only to never try to be better and ends up hurting her even more next time.
Or they’ll accept and justify Violet’s last minute apology for punching Clementine in the face on the boat and putting everyone [including AJ, rememeber?] at risk of either dying or being made into brainwashed soldiers by the delta.
They both have reasons for their behaviors and you’ll work your ass off to justify them, and I’m not saying your points are wrong or invalid, but you seriously won’t even try to extend that same thing to Louis? Why?
Well, jokes on you because I too will work my ass of to talk about Louis and what he’s going through and that’s how posts like this get made. I know not everyone is going to feel that connection to him that I have, and you’re allowed to not like him as a character, but realize that I’m also allowed to give my perspective on his character and why I disagree with points posed by those who don’t like him.
The archery scene is one of my favorites. It’s Louis and Clementine proving that they’re able to open up to one another and say they’re sorry, to forgive the other without being petty or holding it over the other to throw back at them the next time they argue. It proves that Louis wants to put in the effort to repair their relationship and atone for the mistakes he made, to step up and not be “bad” anymore.
I mean, Louis says it best himself. Everyone heard the jokes and the piano, after that, they stop listening... a lot of people just boil him down to a funny man who never takes anything seriously and the only thing he could ever bring to Clementine’s life is a good laugh, but those who stuck with him and put an effort into building his and Clementine’s relationship know better than that. They know how much this apology in ep2 means even with the downer that the timeline of events rushes everything a bit.
The fact that Louis doesn’t have this big ego that prevents him from apologizes, that he can forgive AJ for what he did and still build a strong relationship with both him and Clementine, that if you earn his trust he will follow you to hell and back, that he isn’t afraid to call Clementine out on her bullshit and doesn’t have a come apart when she does the same to him, that with her and AJ by his side he finally doesn’t feel alone anymore.... it’s all just so fucking good.
I dunno, maybe you can understand why I get so ugh whenever I still see these same arguments about him being made with this double standard that doesn’t apply to other characters.
#twdg louis#twdg clementine#twdg aj#twdg marlon#twdg violet#twdg aasim#twdg ruby#twdg willy#twdg mitch#twdg omar#twdg tenn#twdg brody#twdg clouis
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Lost in Zero Gravity (P.2)
Title: Lost in Zero Gravity (Part Two)
Summary: Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers. Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share.
Words: 3,072
Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior
Author’s Note: Song inspo for this fic
Part One || Part Three || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost
“You must have made a really good first impression,” Tatiana commented, blowing out a ring of smoke. Her charcoal lined eyes creased with her pleased smile.
You shrugged, “I was just working.”
“Don’t try to be modest now. It’s not becoming on you,” she laughed in response.
She had called you into her office to tell you that you had been specifically requested for an assignment. It seemed Tony and Steve’s mob were going to be taking a vacation and they wanted you available. You were not one to turn down a paid vacation, especially if they were going to be there. As dangerous as they were, they had been a good fuck and Tony had made sure to get you off. That was far more than probably eighty percent of the people you had been with since you started working the service.
You hated the smell of the cigarette smoke and it was always the hovering stench in her office. She was going to kill herself far too young and maybe shave a few years off your life in return for however she made you stand in here. You adored her, there was no doubt about that. But you wished she would kick the habit.
“Where are they going?” you asked, feigning that you were contemplating about refusing the assignment.
“Riviera Maya.” You narrowed your eyes and she said, “It’s in Mexico.”
An inclusive resort no doubt. It could be fun. Maybe you could ask someone to travel with you so you would not be completely alone when they were not wanting to bed you. Or maybe not… some time alone might do you well.
Tatiana added, “Wives are going to be there though.”
“So, why am I gonna be there?” you asked honestly.
Tatiana snorted, “Oh, stellina.” She took another deep inhale exhaling as she said, “There are so many things there to keep the spouses occupied. They’re rarely together except for dinner. It’s just for appearances.”
Rich people’s lives sounded exhausting.
“You just need to be out in the open, keeping yourself available for them whenever they have an opportunity to slip away and have some fun with you. Otherwise, just keep yourself occupied with the beach and nice drinks. I know you hate suntanning but there are shops to poke around in. I know you like shopping.”
“That I do.”
“Maybe they’ll give you extra.”
“I don’t want to go around trying to get greedy.”
Tatiana smirked at that. “That’s my girl. I trained you well.”
<><><>
Pushing your sunglasses up onto your head, you hopped up onto one of the barstools on the bar you had just walked by and circled back to. You had yet to see either Tony or Steve and you had been here since yesterday. The place was relaxing and the room was great. You had basically sunk into the bed, having one of the best nights of sleep you had had in a long while without any noise from Elisha in her room along your wall back home. Leaning over the counter, you asked for a strawberry lemonade.
“Strawberry lemonade? It’s a party, dollface.”
You recognized that voice and you straightened back up, turning your head to look in his direction.
Steve was standing there, leaning on the counter. He was a sight for sore eyes. He was only in swim trunks, aviator glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. That did not hide the fact you knew his eyes were running unabashedly over your body. Your stomach fluttered at the sight of him, thinking of how he handled you last time.
“I bought this specifically for this vacation,” you said, hopping down from the stool and turning around for him to let him see the whole suit. When you turned back around, he was grinning. “It looks good right?”
He nodded, “You look damn sexy.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“My wife is here,” Steve said, and you frowned instantly at this immediate change in conversation. Was he trying to kill the mood so quickly? He said, “I know. She’s got her little masseuse guy here to keep her entertained, so I should be able to have my own fun. But I’m trying to be good.”
Picking up on his hint, you sauntered towards him. Your hand came up, resting on his chest. “Why do you have to be good if she isn’t being good?”
“I had to hold it in until she ran off,” he told you.
You pulled his sunglasses down to see his eyes, keeping them on the bridge of his nose. You smiled when you were able to actually meet his gaze.
“Well, when do you get to not be good?”
“Right now,” he said and you smiled in response. “It’s why I came and found you. I saw you yesterday. Wandering around. Took everything in me to not come up to you. Looked like you found yourself a nice little boyfriend though?”
“He was trying really hard but no… no dice for that guy,” you told him.
You pushed his glasses back up and your arms wrapped around his neck. He grinned back at you, his fingers tracing along your exposed back.
“I’m assuming you’re liking what you’re seeing?”
“Very much,” he murmured, his fingers playing with the hem of your suit.
You nuzzled your nose to his. “Hmm. So we know where this is going?”
<><><>
You stood in front of the mirror, completely bare. Steve had brought you back to their villa. Tony’s wife was gone, off to a spa treatment. The room had a wide door open to the patio overlooking the ocean. There was a hot tub and pool on the patio and although you wanted to indulge, you refrained. You got undressed for them instead, waiting for them to get antsy enough to take charge. It did not take long as you predicted.
Tony came up from behind you, nude as well. His hands ran across your breasts, cupping.
“Don’t you look marvelous…” he murmured, his fingers tweaking at your erect nipples. You bucked ever so slightly, and he smirked. His nose came to nuzzle into the nape of your neck. “I knew I chose right… a perfect gem.”
“You still seem to like what you’re seeing?”
He chuckled, one hand snaking down to toy with the top of your sex.
“You’re gonna look even better underneath that mirror.”
You turned in his arms, your forehead pressing against his. “A man that likes to review his work. I don’t know if I should be worried.”
“I didn’t get to where I am by being a half ass.”
Steve was at your other side and he enveloped you to him. To both of them, you asked, “Any critiques?”
“Loaded question,” Steve chuckled. “I mean, the biggest is you haven’t sunk one of your holes on either of us. I mean, it’s been a whole five minutes. What’s the hold up?”
“Sorry, I was enjoying the company.”
He kissed the tip of your nose lightly, “And I’m sorry for being so charismatic.”
“I’m assuming you can’t multitask then? Be charismatic and fuck me at the same time?”
A low growl left his mouth now, “You’ve got a mouth on you.”
“Are you complaining?”
“Not at fucking all,” he told you pulling you over to the bed.
Steve was looking upwards, and you knew he was taking in the sight of you hovering over him as you sunk onto his length in the ceiling mirror. His eyes were swimming with arousal and you hoped to always be the cause for that.
<><><>
“Y/N, you got a gift,” Wendy said, pointing at the table as you walked into the brothel’s kitchen. You had come in to get a drink but smiled seeing the bouquet and gift.
“Really?” you asked, letting your backpack fall from your shoulder and along with your carry-on drop to the ground. You had just gotten back from Mexico; that was quick if it was from who you thought it was. Upon seeing the flowers, you knew your assumption had been correct. They had asked you what your favorite flowers were and even though that was extremely obvious why they were asking, you had told them all the same.
The bouquet was large and there was a nice heart balloon in the center. You smiled, leaning in and smelling the flowers deeply.
“Where’d you get those from?” Elisha asked, coming into the kitchen. You shrugged, smiling sheepishly, and she rolled her eyes, giving a little laugh, “I know exactly where those came from.”
“There’s also this,” you said picking up the gift bag from beside it, waving it at her.
“That’s dangerous,” Elisha commented, grabbing the bloody mary that Wendy had made her. They must have had a rough night.
You shrugged again, opening the bag. Your lips curled into a smile as you pulled out a bright blue teddy. “Cute,” you giggled. Elisha and Wendy shook their heads, taking a drink. You held it up against your body and asked, “Think they want me to wear it for next time?”
“I don’t think they bought it for shits and giggles,” Wendy snorted. “How was the trip?”
“It was nice.”
“Good to hear it. You should relish in this.”
“Oh, I am,” you said, putting the teddy back into the bag. You thought of the extra money that Steve had tucked into your bag, remembering that you should tuck that away. It was smarter to not spend all the money that was thrown at you. That is what fools did; you needed to think ahead.
<><><>
The dress was loose and casual, perfect for the saloon they had asked you to meet them at. They had sent a car for you and met you at the curbside. When you got out, you looked around, cocking an eyebrow at the sight of them dressed in nice, pressed jackets. You were going into a dive bar, what were they doing?
Tony took your arm, Steve trailing behind. “Hmm, a sun pattern,” Tony commented, his fingers pulling at the fabric of your dress.
You gripped his arm, smiling. “I like to be a shining beacon in people’s lives.”
Tony chuckled in response, his grip tightening on your waist. The bouncer did not ask for your IDs; they must know them. It was dimly lit, packed. There were dancers on the stage and your eyes were drawn to their movements. The woman dancing had curves to die for.
“Where we going?” you asked as they led you through the bar. Your eyes ran around the tables the further you went in. Did they have a reservation?
“For the real party, sweetheart,” Tony told you, his lips brushing your ear. You shivered at the touch.
It was dark back here and you tensed. Tony felt it, a light chuckle leaving his lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I got you.”
Two men were standing in front of a door and they opened it when they saw the three of you approaching. There was a table with a group of other men, looking like they were waiting for the three of you. There were a handful of other women sitting around the perimeter of the room behind the players. They made brief eye contact with you, sizing you up quickly before averting their eyes again.
“Took you fucking long enough,” one of them drawled at Tony and Steve.
“Sorry, we were waiting for our lucky dame,” Tony returned.
Tony kissed your hand as you sat, before he turned away and sat in his chair. Steve’s hand grazed you affectionately, before he sat down as well.
You sat quietly, watching them play. It was poker, that much you knew. It was intense, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. They were taking this seriously and you surmised they were gambling a bunch of money.
Steve was staring across the table at the first man who had spoken to them when they walked in, his eyes narrowed. The other man was not flinching but something must have been a tell for Steve because he pushed chips forward.
“Well, senator… I’m gonna raise you,” Steve commented.
Your heart stopped a bit, hearing him call him that. Your eyes narrowed at the man across the table. You did not pay attention to politics but the way the man’s face scrunched at Steve’s tone… you knew he had to be one. A senator. What had you let them drag you into?
The man chewed on his lip before throwing his cards down on the table without showing what they were.
Steve’s mouth broke into a wide grin and he held out his hands.
“Fuck you, Rogers,” the man snarled before getting up from the table. He buttoned his suit jacket, leaving the room without a second glance.
“Sore loser,” Steve commented, much to the amusement of the other men at the table to your surprise. You thought they would be more angry about losing the money they had but maybe the man had been a common enemy.
They gathered up the chips, tossing them into a bag. Tony’s hand snaked around your waist.
“Wanna spend this?” Tony asked, grinning broadly, holding the bag up to you as he guided you towards the door. You giggled and he kissed your cheek. “Steve’s treated us. But especially you, baby.”
<><><>
Pulling your dress back on over your head, you straightened it, making sure it was covering your ass. It was short and you did not need to be flashing anyone on the sidewalk.
“You sure you don’t want me to order you a cab…?” the man asked from behind you, taking a long drag on his joint. He was still lying in bed, watching you get dressed.
Confidently, you turned around, fluffing your hair. You shook your head, “It’s not too far. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re a tough cookie,” he said, shooting you a smile.
“I try to be,” you said winking at him, grabbing your purse.
You left his place quickly, heading back to the brothel. It was not a lie, it was not far.
The distance did not matter though when it came to what was waiting for you outside.
A hand closed around your arm, yanking you into an alley. You screamed but another hand slapped across your mouth as you were slammed up against the wall. Your heart was pounding, your eyes wide in fear staring at your assailant.
Your fear melted away to a mixture of anger and disgust. You would recognize those hazel eyes anywhere. You had stared into them far too many times as he towered over you, beating you into submission. You had run away from them far too many times, locking yourself in the bedroom until he got tired of trying to beat the door down.
Garnering strength from a place you did not know existed, you shoved him away, much to his surprise. He did not expect you to fight back, and he stumbled back.
“Have you been fucking following me?” you demanded, your chest heaving.
“Just interested to see what you’ve been doing since you ran off. Looks like you are visiting a bunch of men,” Jared sneered at you, getting back on his game and closing the space between you. Your fists clenched by your sides and he noticed, smirking. “You gonna hit me?”
“No,” you spat.
“So, what’s got you leaving someone’s apartment this time of night, baby?”
“That is none of your business.”
He shoved you back into the wall and you winced against the cement scratching at your skin. You swallowed it though, clenching your jaw, glaring at him. You were acting far braver than you felt. Jared always had the power to make you feel small and weak and it seemed just his presence had that same power. You felt just as helpless as you did a year and a half ago. He was frightening; you knew what violence he could unleash.
“What’s this?” Jared asked, yanking at your purse.
“Nothing, it’s my purse!” you said, your hands closing around it to try to yank it back from him.
“Looks pretty expensive, Y/N… Marc Jacobs? What have you been up to?”
He gave another hard yank, and the chain broke and you hissed against the pressure against your shoulder as it snapped away from you. You reached for it and he shoved you back again, harder this time and you let out a pained noise. Your eyes searched the buildings that surrounded you, hoping someone would be looking out the windows and be able to come to help you. It looked like no such luck.
He yanked out the hundreds the man you had just left had given you.
His eyes were dark, glowering at you. “Where’d you get this?”
“From work!”
His backhand was swift, knocking you off balance. But he was there to catch your falling momentum only to slam you up against the wall for the third time, his forearm pressed into your throat. You gasped, trying to breathe.
“You left me to spread your legs all over the city?”
“What are you talking about?” you exclaimed pitifully, trying to deny it. Your hands clawed at his arm and he only pressed in harder, making you gasp more desperately.
“I saw you go into that building with that man. Yes, I was following you! And you come back out with all this money? I shouldn’t be surprised. You always were a worthless slut.”
Tears pricked at your eyes and he growled, “You always did cry too soon for my liking.”
Your purse fell to the ground and his other hand reached up between your legs. You tried to fight him, and he socked you this time. Your head knocked against the wall and you saw stars.
Jared pushed away and you crumpled to the ground, gasping for air. You squeezed your eyes tightly, trying to gain back some sense of balance.
“Hey!” you heard someone shout from far off.
All you could see was Jared’s shoes coming in and out of your vision. You felt a sharp pain in your stomach making you lose all your breath before his shoes were gone. You blinked again before losing consciousness as you saw a new pair of shoes come into your line of sight.
~~~
Tags: coconutqueen21
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