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#I will never tell people how they should write
comfortless · 2 days
Note
i have been thinking about this for a while and i love how you write, so what do you think of biker!könig with a gf that studies in uni? how did they meet? does he get jealous easily of her classmates? what is the aftermath of his jealousy (😏)?
thank you so much 🩷
-🌵
content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. fem (afab) reader, suggestive, but mostly just two sillies attempting to flirt.
They first cross paths at a gas station. Sundown and desolate apart from the woman who approaches the tiny shop on foot whilst he straddles his bike at the pump.
She doesn’t notice him, and that’s just fine. More often than not, people do but for the wrong reasons. It’s always the height or the face only his mother could love. This is a good thing, shows she’s not hasty with her judgment, shows she’s just unaware enough to let something like him in.
It’s stupid, completely ridiculous at how he feels his heart thump to life, ribcage squeezing and stomach a whirl with butterflies at the mere sight. The furthest thing from love comes to mind at the sight: plush thighs peeking out against the hem of shorts that cut off just below her bum, the tight tanktop that displays her cleavage in a way so enticing. But that’s what he immediately thinks of, that word that seems foreign to him even in his mother tongue.
Love.
König could be a gentleman, lie her down in his bed instead of fucking her over the bike, if she were kind enough to follow him home. That offer feels heavy as lead on his tongue, lost someplace in his throat when he really gets a good view of her.
He’s never been good with talking to women, anyway. Especially not an angel so far out of his league she would surely only scoff with her sweet drink in hand, turn away from him with her nose held high and dark circles under her eyes as she suffers through another paper back at her dorm or wherever she came from.
So, he leaves her be as much as he can and should, only watches her with his helmet in place and that dark visor masking where his eyes wander from her face down to the retreating view of her legs as she walks.
The next time time is during the rain.
König is good at refraining from acting on base instinct. There’s a lot to consider before stealing away some miserable dove on the sidewalk, the light drizzle from above soaking into her dress and battering her lashes as she sits and waits for a ride that just doesn’t seem to be coming. He’s got his military background, keeps his house tidy and rarely muddles in the affairs of other people.
It’s just that she’s cold.
He tells himself that the only reason he stops his bike some meters away is because she will get sick if he doesn’t offer her a ride. He’s just being a gentleman. There’s nothing more to it.
So he does. Keeps his helmet on and masks his face as well as the weird excitement and nervousness in his voice when the muffled offer taints the wet air.
It doesn’t matter that he wouldn’t have never considered any of this if she weren’t so cute. If she didn’t look so fragile and sweet. She smiles and nods immediately, fusses with her dress a bit when she climbs onto the bike behind him when she tells him that she’s only just been on a date. It just hadn’t turned out well and whoever the bastard had been had dipped before even the entree was served.
It sends his mind spiraling when it shouldn’t.
It’s deranged to think of her misfortune as fate when it isn’t.
“I’m sorry… I don’t know where to put my hands,” she laughs someplace against his shoulder, chin just slightly tilted up to bump his damp t-shirt. It’s the nicest thing he’s ever heard, not mocking at all, only shy.
“Around me.”
He sounds like an old pervert, feels just like one when he takes her hands into his own and guides them around his middle. Presses in a bit too tight, because it’s been a long time since he’s had a woman so close and it feels good to be held like this.
She makes some quiet noise, a soft gasp, then presses her face into the darkness of his shirt to hide away from the rain or maybe…
“You can come home with me. It’s close.”
She laughs again, and he’s reminded of just how little tact that he has with the fairer sex. She must think him an idiot, some hopeful vigilante that scoops women up from the street after nightmare dates with bad food or bad dick. It sounds so stupid to his own ears, he knows he’s burning crimson beneath the black helmet.
Until she squeezes him a bit, gives what must be her best attempt at a hug from their positioning. Again, too, maybe out of surprise that there’s muscle there. Something a woman like her might like.
“I’ve got nothing to lose, huh?” and then “You seem a lot nicer than he was, anyway.”
The air gets stolen from his lungs and his jaw grows loose. She had only told him yes to maybe sitting on his couch, watching some miserable war film until he brought her back to her academic wasteland, but not a part of him had expected that.
It takes a moment for him to realize he hasn’t said a word, that he’s sat panting like some stay being offered a meaty bone. He takes a moment to reposition her grip around him, too ashamed of the way his cock springs to life at her closeness and the ridiculous fantasy playing out in his head.
“Right… you can dry off there.”
He doesn’t immediately remove the helmet when she steps into his abode, just guides her over to the washroom when she asks if he would mind if she used his shower and lets her be. That room has never known a woman’s touch, and the shirt he gives her to change into isn’t comparable to the cute, floral thing she was wearing.
He takes her dress to the dryer to distract himself from the fact that she’s naked in there, just a flimsy door away. Changes out of his own sopping wet clothes after considering that maybe she would want to touch him again. Maybe it felt nice for her too, just to hold someone. He could hold her too, if she wanted that, bring her right to his bed and keep her safe and warm.
“You’re out of conditioner,” she peeps as she steps back out of the bathroom. “Just thought you would want to…”
Her eyes trail over him for a time as her words taper off to nothing. Then, they’re locked to his face and any hope goes up in an inferno. The scars are probably scary, the dark circles from weeks of minimal sleep are probably even worse. She probably thinks him some sort of monster or a demon, something no girl should be left alone with.
Then, she smiles.
“Wow…”
“What…?”
He expects the worst and instinctively casts a sideways glance toward the helmet sat by the door. The perfect covering to avoid situations like this. It’s not that he’s dependent on it, but… maybe he would have had some sort of chance had he not taken it off.
“I’m sorry for staring, you’re just really…”
Ugly. Scary. Whatever words she’s considering, he doesn’t care to hear them. She could just ask to go home, save herself some fear and save him from another rejection.
“… cute.”
“Okay.”
Scheisse.
That wasn’t a “thank you” or anything of substance, but this is more mortifying than anything prior. Even the women who had pitied him with a date before had never called him something so endearing, never likened him to some adorable little thing or stared up at him like she does now. She only seems giddy, a fire burning behind her eyes like she’s just discovered some secret treasure.
“… cuter than your date?,” he hazards, rolls his shoulders and tilts his head at her. His attempt at sounding confident only comes across bitter and jealous. Maybe he is, but that fucker blew his chance, and she’s blessing König with far too many.
“Definitely.”
The tension feels tangible, despite the absurdity of all of this. He’s not sure what to do with his hands, where to look, what to say or how long to take between breaths.
She’s stood there in his shirt, looking as if she’s already his and he’s the one left feeling ashamed and embarrassed.
“I think you’re pretty.”
“Yeah?”
“Ever since I first saw you, I…” He’s babbling too much, losing any composure because she just keeps her eyes trained on him, that adorable smile curling at her lips. If he sounded creepy, like he’s been following her, she doesn’t even seem to notice.
“Maybe you could take me on a date sometime,” she suggests, her voice coming as a breathy little whisper. Maybe she is shy, but she’s giving him the OK to push and prod and see just how far he can go, to expend all of his luck on this very night.
The rain outside only grows louder, threatening to cut the power and leave this docile angel in some dark pit with a mad king. He wishes it would, it grows harder to keep the prominent excitement in his crotch concealed the more that she talks and bats her eyelashes at him.
Being over-eager was a turn-off, right? He weighs his next words the best he can, considers playing it safe for just half a moment before they escape him anyway.
“Come here.”
There’s a darker storm brewing in his eyes when she takes those first, fragile steps toward him. But she graces him with the light of a spark when her hand finds his chest and presses there, feels his heart beating like it’s a normal thing to search for, like she’s just as mesmerized and surprised as she is now.
She’s snared in an instant with a face buried into her damp hair, lifted up with her legs guided to wrap around his waist. A decade worth of luck spent just like that, but he’s always been greedy.
The demand for more comes with a callused hand guiding her chin up. Her lips part immediately, eyelashes fluttering until they rest atop her cheeks, already warmed with the anticipation of what’s to come. His kissing begins gentle, soft for a second as he tries to memorize the plushness and curvature of her lips with his mouth alone.
Then, it’s only punishing.
He tries to hold himself back, but knowing he could have had this weeks ago while she was wandering about barely dressed drives him insane. The moment she gasps against his mouth, his tongue slips inside to find hers, rolls over it with such a ferocity that the corner of her mouth begins to glisten with their shared drool. She whines, then moans as her hands curl over his neck, petting at the short hair at the base of his skull.
His hands fall to her ass to keep her in place, gives her a pinch and then a grope when he realizes she’s not wearing underwear at all.
And that’s where the well must have run dry, because she tilts her face away with a series of soft pants, squeezes her trembling thighs around him as if to make a silent demand to stop, or maybe not. Everything she does makes him feel both hot and crazy; she doesn’t even attempt to wind out of his grip here, only looks up at him sultry and helpless. She must be wet, he can smell it, practically taste her already, but he doesn’t persist when she halts this dance.
“Wait… waitwait. I don’t even know your name.”
“König.”
She laughs breathlessly, then dips her head to press against his shoulder. His hand immediately rises to pet at her hair, twirling a few strands between his fingers as she tells him her name in turn.
“I don’t really want this to just be… one night, you know?,” she says, and that intrigues him.
“That so..?”
“Mhm…”
He slowly lowers her back down until her feet meet the carpeted floor, then takes her face into both hands while she gives him a cute pout. He could be sympathetic, could make her love him even… she’s left the door open for him already, after all.
“I could just hold you,” he mutters, tracing a circle into her cheek, savoring in the way her eyes seem to light up at that.
“I would like that.”
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churipu · 2 days
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Hellooo! I saw ur reqs wer open and I wanted to know if its oknif ok if u can write abt the jjk men being their for their gf's performance/exhibit for school or work when their family or friends can't make it?
(I love how how the way you write them as well! I found u through the nanami oneshot and I've just been on ur masterlist reading through all of ur fics and drabbles, esp now with me going through the same thing as above 💛)
𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐓 .ᐟ
❪ jjk men showing up in your art exhibition when nobody did ❫
────── 𝕴 . featuring. gojo satoru, nanami kento, itadori yuuji x fem! reader
────── 𝕴 . warnings. none :)
note. hi nonnie :( thank you so much for the love, i'm so sorry for the delay, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i'm 100% sure whatever you were presenting to everyone was awesome! i love you <33
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𝜗𝜚 . GOJO SATORU
gojo has received your heads up regarding an art exhibit a week prior. he'd notice the way you've been very very excited about having your art work presented for people to see. and he's happy to see you happy.
he made it extra clear he wanted nothing with the jujutsu world the day your exhibit was held — all he wanted was a nice and peaceful day to spend with his partner. gojo woke up extra early to send you off, helping you get ready.
the way your smile lit up his morning, he couldn't even get back to sleep right after, seeing how happy you are with today. gojo can't even wait for the time to struck twelve for the exhibition opening, and so he got there an hour early.
he was silent with his movements, a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his grasp as he paced around the crowded area — blue eyes averting everywhere to look for you. with his height, finding you wasn't too hard for him.
pushing through oceans of humans, he stood right in front of you. the solemn look on your face doesn't go unnoticed, "hi, baby."
you look up to see him and crack a smile, "you came."
gojo grins down at you, "of course i did, can't miss my girl's exhibition, can i?" his large hand covered the top of your head, "why the frown? are you not happy to see me?"
chuckling, you shake your head, "no. my parents couldn't make it, they were too busy with work."
and you were so excited to show them your art work too. gojo didn't forget the way you rambled on about how your parents were going to love it — especially when it was dedicated to them. and they butchered it up by choosing work over you.
this time, gojo frowns along with you, "they didn't show up?"
with a shake of your head, gojo pulls you into his embrace, "i'm sorry that happened, show me everything? i arrived here an hour ago to see you, you know?"
"one hour? so early and for what?"
"to see you, silly. i couldn't wait to see all your works," he pressed his lips onto your forehead, "and this is for my beautiful girl."
he handed you the bouquet and laced his fingers with yours, "let's get some food after this? it's a date."
"it's a date!" you smiled, no longer feeling upset.
𝜗𝜚 . NANAMI KENTO
people always tell you to never get excited over small things, but you couldn't help it — the slightest things made you really happy, but at the same time, the slightest things made you sad as well.
i'm sorry, can't come to the exhibit. something came up, i'll try to swing by next time y/n! maybe next year? sorry :(
you read the text over and over again. this should be fine, (friend) was probably just busy with their day so they couldn't drop by — no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it was fine. you didn't feel like it. they promised.
"i'm sorry i'm late, y/n."
turning around to look at the source of the voice, there stood your boyfriend. sweat dribbling down the side of his face, hair disheveled with shallow and rapid breaths. he looked like he just ran a marathon.
"kento? i thought you couldn't make it—"
nanami shook his head, "i made time for you, i will always make time for you," he gave you a small smile.
"you're not late, just in time actually," you switched your phone off, shoving it inside the back pocket of your jeans, "thank you for coming for me."
he wiped his sweat, standing up straight, stepping towards you, "where are your friends? they should be here now, are they not?"
the corner of your lips tugged downwards. it was embarrassing as it is, and now you had to tell him that they weren't coming. it's like a slap to the face, "um . . . they aren't coming. something came up, and i guess they couldn't come."
nanami's eyebrows twitched slightly, but he said nothing. his hand reached out for yours, giving it a slight squeeze, "spend the rest of your day with me?"
you blinked, "how about work?"
"don't worry about my work, you come first, understood?" he brushed his fingers through your hair, pulling you in for a brief kiss.
𝜗𝜚 . ITADORI YUUJI
maybe the fact that your parents were workaholics made you a better person. maybe the fact that your parents were workaholics pushed you to do better — like a cry for attention. but for some apparent reason, they never seemed to be satisfied with what you're doing.
"art brings you no good, what are you going to be? an artist? do you know how much they earn a year?"
don't be an artist this. don't be an artist that. it was pretty expected that your invitation for them was discarded with no thoughts behind. hell, they didn't even spare it a glance.
and yet, the little girl in you still hoped that they'd show up — even just for a while.
they didn't, it should be obvious. you saw it coming, but it still hurts anyways. however, itadori yuuji showed up; and he was like a ball of sunshine, so you couldn't help but to be happy as well. especially with how packed his schedule is, he still made the time to stop by.
"baby!"
"yuuji!"
he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a tight hug, carrying you around with ease, "sorry i came a little late, kugisaki needed me to bring her shopping bags back to the cab. where are your parents? they should be here, right?"
right. they should have.
"no, they didn't come," you murmured into the crook of his neck before pulling your head back with a sad smile plastered to your face, "but i'm okay, you're here now!"
yuuji puckered his lips out slightly, "i'm going to pester gojo-sensei to let me off for the rest of the day, i need to be here with you."
you shake your head, "you can't, what if you have a mission?"
"fushiguro can take over, pretty. don't worry about my missions," yuuji replied, nuzzling his nose to the side of your face, "plus, how can i leave you alone here, huh?"
"you're the sweetest, yuuji. but what if it's an important mission?" you pinched his cheeks gently, pulling them.
"fushiguro can take over, he's strong. and there's kugisaki, and the second year students. they'll manage," he retorted, pecking your cheek before letting you down.
"you're too nice, yuuji."
"i love you. and show me your works, i can't wait to see them, you know? kugisaki wanted pictures!"
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© churipu 2024 , do not copy or repost anywhere
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himezoro · 3 days
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Hello!! Could you please do what it would be like to date Luffy?? He's my favorite character and I loved your Zoro headcanons!!
— tysm for requesting !! i've recently came back from my trip and still recovering from my mental breakdown lol, so writing for luffy aka my son is all i need <3 i hope it brings you joy and light ⋆˙⟡♡ i have other requests in my box and i promise to do them all, i won't let you down !!
ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ : monkey d luffy's guide to relationship (check out roronoa zoro's guide here and here if you're interested)
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dating monkey d luffy would include :
endless, countless and heartfelt laughters. luffy is an outgoing and fun person to be around. he's always having fun on the way of making his dream come true, making each day bright and sunny. he won't be trying that hard to make their s/o laugh, his authenticity, fearlessness and lack of danger estimation would do the trick. but expect him to yell his s/o's name everytime he pulls a prank or tests his flexibility by making funny faces. if his s/o happens to be sad, he would also try his best to cheer them up by first, making them laugh to forget about their worry. when in bed with his s/o, he would let soft and intimate laughs escape his throat when talking to them or listening to their stories. laughing is an intimate and loving act according to luffy's guide.
physical touch. luffy's a sucker for hugs, tender gestures and pdas!! he has no shame hugging his friends like a koala, but with his s/o?? they would barely be able to breath lmao. luffy would sleep with his arms fully wrapped around his s/o's back, with his chin on the top of their head, sometimes, he would sleep on top of them with his whole weight just to show "how much he loves them", or with his head on their lap. anyway, luffy’s s/o is always at arms length thanks to his ability, much to his delight. the boy's clingy, but so adorable and natural about it. however, if their s/o needs some space, luffy would understand, although a bit saddened, so expect him to ask for a hug when they're ready. if their s/o really hates physical touch, it would be difficult for luffy to adjust (he's just a big soft plushie please take care of my baby)
receiving random compliments at random times. luffy's very honest and genuine, and even though he lacks real communication skills, he never lies. therefore, if he sees their s/o with a new outfit and he finds it nice, he will vocalize it in his words. "your coat is brown like a juicy steak, it looks tasty! you should wear it more often", "your hair looks like a cloud this morning", "your eyes sparkle like lasers!!".
him being involved in his s/o's hobbies/occupations. luffy is naturally curious. people often feel like he is pestering and "in the way", which can hurt his feelings, but he is genuinely interested in his friends' activities. he has so much admiration for them. but with his s/o? luffy would not only pester and ask what they're doing, he would also be trying to learn alongside them, with stars in his eyes. if their s/o's a fighter and fighting with a particular weapon or style, luffy would sit quietly and watch for some time, clapping his hands and feet at any random movements from their body, before joining and mimicking. if their s/o was reading or doing anything more intellectual or academic, luffy would sit by them, his arms crossed on the table and his head on top and listen to them talk and tell about what they're learning. if his s/o is patient and pedagogical, he would be so happy and confident enough to ask questions. he will then brag to usopp and chopper about his recent learnings with confidence and pride, saying how "(your name) taught me!!" (he will also turn around to his s/o to check if what he's saying is correct). it is very important for luffy to know what his s/o is doing and what they like, and for them to share their activities together. because on luffy's part, he would include his s/o in every single thing, even on shenanigans with usopp and chopper if they'd like.
hungry kisses and messy makeout sessions. the first kiss with luffy was soft, quick and intimate: a simple peck on the lips. also, at the beginning of the relationship, they were few, as the captain is more of a hugger. however, when his s/o would explain luffy that kisses could involve tongue, dear lord. luffy got insatiable. with his first french kiss, the move of his tongue got so messy he let some drool escape from his lips, trailing out from his s/o's lips. he also accidently bit his s/o's bottom lip so hard it stayed swollen for a couple of days. luffy would take note on his s/o's preferences and always surprise them with that one kiss that would leave them out of breathe and shaky. during make out sessions, not only his tongue would be insatiable, but his hands as well. this boy cannot stand still, he would trail his hands all over his s/o's body, especially the inside of their thighs or their ass. oftenly, after pulling away from his lips, he would look at his s/o's eyes and say "more" before diving in again.
aside from the messy kisses from heated and hungry make outs, luffy's kisses are always spontaneous and playful. he's hanging from the chandelier with his legs around it? he'll grow his head down just he can peck his s/o's lips. his kisses are never calculated or protocolar, they're just like his sweet personality. he would try to kiss you when you eat to "taste your food", claiming that it tasted better.
learning to communicate. luffy is not a complete moron, but his communication skills and social awareness may not be the best. their s/o will have to use patience in order to have a meaningful conversation about their intimate feelings or their relationship in general. luffy is a good listener to his s/o, however, his responses are not always fitting to the matter at hand, sometimes even immature. nevertheless, luffy is a willing person, especially with his s/o. he would try his best providing more fitting responses to his s/o's matters and expressing his needs as well, especially if he feels he has been saddened by their behaviour.
entrusting him and reassuring him. of course, luffy is a confident person, not only in his skills, but also in his dream of being the King of the Pirates. however, if their s/o does not vocalize their trust in his dream, skills or character, luffy would be saddened and pouty. it could trigger his jealousy. he is the captain of a fantastic crew with fantastic people and he feels entrusted with that role, but the one trust and validation he needs is from his s/o. if their s/o compliments him or refer to him as "future King of the Pirates", he would be beaming so hard and brag about it a little.
having a number one fan and devoted partner. luffy loves all of his crewmates and would do anything for them. but his s/o is special. he would always cheer them up, be their cheerleader, talk about them at any given times (a little like tom holland with zendaya lol), protect them from the smallest ant, raise them high. he will always stand for them. if his s/o's in danger, the smallest hint of common sense hidden in his brain gets completely lost and he goes feral. he won't let anything happen to his s/o, before letting anything happen to his dream. his dream is with their s/o: there's no Pirate King with his s/o, no matter what. losing his brother already broke his heart, and he knows losing his s/o will hurt the same, so he does not let anything happen to them. <3
he's the definition of a golden retriever boyfriend, but i feel like he would rather eat from your plate than giving you his lmao. he won't mind sharing with you, but he would enjoy stealing food from your plate.
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cutielando · 1 day
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Can we have a Lando x reader who's a little chubby?
a/n: as a chubby girl myself, i love this ❤️ but please remember guys, you are beautiful just the way you are and nobody should tell you otherwise !!! ❤️❤️
so sorry it took so long, uni has been kicking my ass and i haven't had much time to write :((
my masterlist
♡♡♡♡♡
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You hadn’t always had doubts regarding the way you looked.
Seeing so many models around you at every step, feeling the eyes burning into the back of your neck and scrutinizing you for simply the way you looked. But you never cared about any of that.
You weren’t ugly, far from it. You were as beautiful as they come, but slightly a little chubby. You had some meat on your thighs and you weren’t afraid to show it off or feel confident in your body.
Well, that was before.
Ever since you started dating Lando, everything changed.
The amount of eyes that were on you before was nothing compared to the moment when you were introduced to the world as Lando’s girlfriend.
You had decided to keep your relationship a secret for the first couple of months, just until you tested out the waters and figured out what would come of the whole thing. You had tried to limit your expectations from the very beginning, knowing that Lando could leave you for anyone and nobody would ever know.
But it didn’t happen, and you were sure that what you had was real after months and months of expecting the worst.
After many talks, both you and Lando decided that it would be best for you to attend the Silverstone Grand Prix as your first official race as his girlfriend. It was his home Grand Prix, at the end of the way, he wanted you there with his family, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Are you sure you want me to come? I can stay back, I don’t mind” you said as you were waiting for Lando to finish getting ready so you could all leave for the track.
He looked at you, blankly staring at you. You’d had the same conversation 10 times since you guys woke up, and he didn’t know how to stress it well enough that he wanted you there with him.
“Baby, I don’t know how else to say this. I want you there with me, my family wants you there as well. Why are you so nervous?” he was holding your arms, softly running his finger up and down your soft skin.
You had the answer, but you didn’t want to give it to him. You already knew what he was going to say and how he was going to react, but you couldn’t lie to him when he looked at you with those eyes of his that stared deep into your soul.
“I know what people are going to say when they see you with me” you mumbled, staring down at your shoes.
Lando frowned, not understanding what his fans had to do with anything. Why would you care about what his fans would say? He didn’t, why would you?
“What do you mean?” he asked, bringing you closer to his body.
You sighed against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist loosely.
“People are going to say things when they see you with me” your voice was small, unsure of your own words.
Lando’s eyebrows furrowed, confused as to what you meant. But he didn’t say anything when you sighed, letting you get everything off of your chest.
“I don’t look like the girls you are usually seen with, and people noticed that. They always have something to say about the way I look next to you and that I’m not like your exes and that you don’t really like me and are using me for clout. I know it’s not true, but sometimes they get to me” you confessed, a weight slowly lifting off of your conscience.
You weren’t used to being in the public eye as much as Lando, so you’d never before had to deal with people commenting about your appearance and judging every single thing you did or said.
It was something you took a while getting used to, but it was worth it if it meant being with Lando. And Lando was very grateful for all the sacrifices you had made for him.
“Baby, look at me” he said, taking your face in his hands so you would look him in the eyes. “I don’t care what anybody has to say about you. I love you for who you are, just the way you are. You’re gorgeous in my eyes and nobody could ever convince me otherwise” he said, speaking slowly so you could absorb his words carefully.
You looked at him, biting your lip as you studied his face and especially his eyes. They were sincere, holding more honesty and love than you thought you could ever comprehend.
“You mean that?” you whispered, feeling hot tears building into the corners of your eyes.
Lando smiled and leaned down, kissing you deeply. “I love you, and I don’t care what anyone has to say about us. We’re happy, nobody else matters”
You bit your lip again but nodded, prompting a big smile to break out on Lando’s face.
“Then let’s rock Silverstone”
♡♡♡♡♡
The paddock was buzzing when you arrived with Lando and his family. Dozens of fans were screaming your boyfriend’s name, and even though he smiled and waved at them while keeping his distance, you could tell his smile was not 100% honest.
You tried not to look at his fans if you could help it, knowing you would be met with some looks you’d be better off not seeing. Lando saw that, and he only wrapped his arm around your shoulders to keep you even closer as you made your way together to the garage.
“How are you feeling?” Lando asked once you were in the safety of his driver’s room, away from the screaming fans and photographers.
You smiled, your heart warming at the fact that his most pressing concern, even on the toughest race weekends, was you.
“I’m okay, you don’t have to worry about me” you reassured him, smiling lightly.
He looked at you for a moment, studying your face and eyes intently. He didn’t like knowing that his fans were not supportive of his relationship and of you in particular, he thought it was absolutely ridiculous.
“I just want to make sure you’re comfortable being here” he said, sighing before pulling you into a hug.
“I’ve known from the beginning that being in the public eye wouldn’t always be sunshine and roses. This is just an example of that, we can’t control it. People are allowed to have opinions, I just have to learn how to deal with them” you said, enjoying the warmth emanating from his body.
Lando nodded, but still felt like he should make it clear how wrong everybody else was about you.
He pulled away from the hug, only to take your face in his hands. “I want you to know that, no matter what anyone might say, I love you just the way you are. I don’t care if you’re skinny, if you’re a little chubby, if you have short or long hair, I care about you in any form. I love you for who you are, not for the way you look” he said, making tears well up in the corners of your eyes.
You had always known Lando loved you, but this right there proved it to you 1000 times over.
Not being able to resist, you practically threw yourself against his body, kissing him so fiercely you both became lightheaded. Pouring every ounce of love you felt for one another into a kiss, sealing a promise that you would always be there to lift each other up, no matter what.
Why?
Because nothing else mattered besides you two.
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Could you write one for Charles where one of the kids is struggling with something at school but they're having a hard time admitting that so he just finds out one day, and talks it out and tries to help?
Charles noticed Amélie seemed a bit more anxious lately, always closing herself in her bedroom to do her homework and study for hours on end, not allowing anyone to go inside her room until she was done.
"Amélie, can I speak with you, chérie?", Charles said as he watched your daughter walk into her bedroom.
"Sure - is everything alright? Did I do something wrong?", she mused she sat at her desk.
"You tell me - I've noticed you have been worried, tired, you're always studying and you don't seem all to well", he tried, "I just want to help with anything you're feeling but you need to tell me first", Charles spoke softly.
"It's just... school has been harder lately", she admitted, "I don't know what it is, because I'm still working like I usually did, but my mind keeps flying somewhere else - and then I've seen these videos of where people learn they have ADHD because of how many fingers they put down and it's all so exhausting and confusing", she admitted as tears of frustration pooled on her eyes.
"Chérie, you could've told me sooner, or mama too", your husband offered, "we could've helped".
"It's silly sometimes, because there's so much information, but then the teacher keeps saying that we should all work harder, but I'm hitting the top mark every single quizz we do", Amélie argued.
"Your math teacher? That woman is a fossil at that school, she was there when me and mama were students there and everyone thought she was ready for retirement then already", Charles chuckled, "but if you're worried, we can also talk to a professional, there's no shame in that".
"I know there isn't - it's just that I never felt like this", she swivelled on the chair, "maybe it isn't a bad idea, just to make sure".
"We'll do it then, no worries", Charles smiled, "in the mean time, you should also rest your brain a little, okay? And if you need any help, you ask for it".
"Well, since you're offering, there's this bit on my homework that I haven't been able to complete", Amélie added as she opened her notebook, "the dinosaur teacher said we should be able to do this with our eyes closed by now even though she failed to teach us how to!", she stated.
"Amélie Leclerc!", Charles warned even though he wanted to laugh at her words.
"What?! You called her a fossil, how's mine worse than that?", she argued.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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furiousgoldfish · 1 day
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This is going to sound incoherent to those who haven't been told over and over they're monsters or demons or animals as children, but I need to write it down.
It was often I would be told that I was some kind of evil creature and not a child, as a justification for abusing me, and I wouldn't have any kind of response to that, because how do you combat that? How do you respond to a parent or a family member calling you a snake and a swine and satan? I would get frozen in doubt and start to internalize, that I must be non-human, I must be evil and fundamentally wrong and demonic in some way, because I couldn't find any argument against it. After all, these people were saying it so surely, so filled with rage and righteous justice, that I was non-human, that it was not only okay but necessary to hurt me, and it's all I've ever known. And I still get flashbacks to those moments when I would be told stuff like 'you should have been strangled to death the second you were born', and I freeze. It hurts. I can't reason with hatred like that.
It's only today my brain finally found some counter arguments to it.
Was I born to a human being, or to an animal? If I had been an animal, I would have been born to an animal mother. And she wouldn't hate me like you do. Even if I was a baby snake, there would have been no need to torture me, I would have been normal and natural as a snake. But, even as a child, I had arms and legs, it was obvious I wasn't a snake.
If I as a demon, how would I be born into a family of humans? Wouldn't it be shown in the color of my eyes, or my skin, or my actions? Have I been displaying anything but normal child behaviour? How would anyone be able to tell I was a demon, if I was born to humans, acted like a normal human child, and had never done acts of irreparable evil and sadism? What made me a demon then?
If there was nothing but evil in me, why was I in so much fear and pain all the time? Is that how evil-doers feel? Why was I too scared to do even normal, mundane things that other kids fearlessly did? Why was nobody afraid of me? Why did people feel comfortable hurting me, cornering me and attacking me, if I was so dangerous and malicious?
It was painfully obvious that I was a human child from the start. Calling a human child demonic is not normal, it's not well-intentioned, it's not for the child's own good. It's cruel and vicious. And it wasn't based on anything inside of me. You saw a child you wanted to hurt repeatedly, and making the child believe they're not human was the simplest way for you to get away with it. Why did you need to hurt the child repeatedly? Even if you believed it was something else, an animal or an evil creature, why did it give you pleasure to hurt it over and over again? Why would you intentionally corner a small creature inside of your home and cause pain to it? Did it give you pleasure to see fear and tears? Did you enjoy it so much you just had to keep doing it?
All small humans are the same, they have small little limbs, they're squishy, they're sensitive, they get spooked and scared easily, they like playing brave to make themselves feel stronger. There's no reason to corner and torture one, and call them evil for that. I was the same. I was acting brave but I was small, and soft, with little limbs, easily spooked, easily brought to tears. What was in you to want to break me? What was it worth to you to do it?
You could have picked any child for it, and it wouldn't have made any difference. I was just what was in the house.
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Momoi Airi is a Trans Woman
This is headcanon at the end of the day and there's nothing wrong with disagreeing, but the way she's written regarding her sense of identity as an idol, the choice of phrasing they use when she talks about herself in reference to others (namely Shizuku), and the connections her visual motifs provide to concepts and other characters tied to or commonly seen as trans just makes it incredibly hard for me to view her otherwise.
A lot of what I have to say is very personal to me; I'm a trans woman myself, and Airi's writing and experiences connect with me and my own transition journey in a way I haven't really seen anywhere else in media (I'm not a very prolific media consumer). So it's entirely possible a lot of this is just me projecting onto a character I care a lot about. But while I've adored Airi before this revelation, I didn't reach the level of attachment I have for her until the realisation of just how well she's written through the lens of a trans girl. Specifically one who's, for the most part, entirely socially transitioned but keeping the fact she is trans secret.
When Airi was little, she was, as she herself describes, very boyish. She'd get into physical fights with boys around the neighbourhood or at school, she'd come home most days covered in dirt and mud from playing with her majority boy friend group of the time. She was intensely defensive of her little sister, most of her fights being with possibly bigger-than-her boys because they were mean to her sister. It formed a reputation for Airi, a reputation that followed her as she began to deviate from these patterns and pivot her interests and activities hard and fast thanks to starting to watch idols on TV. She was enamoured with them, would rewatch recordings of their performances and interviews over and over so she could emulate it and be more like them. She'd stop getting into fights, stop playing with her rougher friends; everything started changing dramatically thanks to her being introduced to a new "type" of woman: an idol. Something Airi wanted to become, and was willing to change everything about her to be.
These changes weren't socially easy for her, though, with backlash coming from these old friends and classmates because of how girly she was trying to become. The idea of being a tomboy was something Airi started to consider a bad thing, a gross thing. During her Colourful Festival side-story, To You Who Yearns To Be an Idol, amidst a conversation with her younger self Airi calls the little girl a tomboy, something that makes the younger Airi immediately deflate and shy away from the conversation. It upset her to be called that, especially by an idol, something she wants to become. Which leads to the younger Airi talking about how she's been treated by her peers for changing the way she dresses and not playing the same way she used to, for changing the way she talks, with her being talked to like she's doing something horrible and wrong for simply chasing a dream of who she wants to be. And in this conversation, Airi says a particular line that changed everything for me:
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This is said in response to Little Airi's repeating of what the boys in her class call her as she wears cuter, girly clothes. That she's some big, mean monster who shouldn't wear things like that, who could never become an idol. Effectively telling her that she could never be a girl because of the way she used to behave. She started as someone rough, someone harsh and dirty, that's not something she should—not something she could—change. Something we see in present day that she's largely internalised through her struggles with what it means to be an idol, her struggles with calling herself an idol.
For Airi, being an Idol and being a Girl have become synonymous with each other. Her ability to be an idol, to draw that attention, have a smile that sparkles on stage and in front of the camera, spread hope and joy to other people; this part of her identity has grown beyond her job, it's who she is as an individual. Being Momoi Airi, the second year Miyajo student, is inseparable from Momoi Airi, the ex-QT member and now member of MORE MORE JUMP! And if she can't be the image of an idol that exists in her head, that she's always viewed idols to be, that Haruka and Shizuku manage to embody, that Minori is becoming, then can Airi even really call herself as much of a person, of a woman, as them?
Airi's been in this constant uphill battle where she believes she doesn't sparkle as much as the other idols around her, so she puts more effort into learning how to make herself sparkle, but manages to convince herself that because she struggles with this, she's less of an idol than those very peers. It's in large part what Ice Drop is about, Airi's difficulty finding satisfaction with her work as an idol because it doesn't shape up to her own expectations and beliefs of what an idol "should be", because it doesn't match what she sees other idols she looks up to, like Shizuku, doing. Something also portrayed during Airi's conversation with Shizuku in Chasing the Radiance Beyond the Blue Sky, where she outright tells Shizuku that because she doesn't have the same physical appeal she has to fight harder and use different strategies to get any attention as an idol. And if Shizuku is the "perfect idol", and Airi will never be able to achieve that, can she even call herself an idol?
If she can't call herself an idol, does she even deserve to call herself a girl? Or are the harsh words of her grade school classmates right about whether she should be wearing the cutesy clothes?
A large part of Airi's struggle with this, why it's even a spiral in the first place, ties into her nature as a Solid Heart student as well as why I see so much of myself and my transfemme journey in Airi's story. It doesn't matter how many people tell you that you're enough and that you've done what you set out to do, not if every thought in your head is telling you they're wrong. According to everyone I know, I pass really well as a girl. My voice is naturally feminine, even without masking it very hard, I've basically never been misgendered since growing my hair out by strangers looking at me, I've even been told by close friends that they'll forget I'm trans because I'm just "one of the girls" to so many of them. And I appreciate all of it, so much; I'm very lucky to have had such a smooth social transition. But none of that changes who I see in the mirror, who I hear when I talk, what I feel when I wake up in the morning forced to acknowledge my body. I'll never be a "real girl", not until I fix these things, and it's entirely possible that it's impossible to truly get rid of this feeling.
That's what Airi feels regarding her identity as an idol. Everyone in the world could tell her how good an idol she is, how much hope she spread as Happy Everyday, how beautiful and bright her smile is. But that will never replace or fully mask the doubt in the back of her head about whether she's really an idol, because nothing that she used to do aligns with what she's always seen idols to be, so much of what she does today is so different from the reality of her dreams. She's not that idol, so is she even an idol at all? I'm not that girl, so am I even a girl at all? Obviously I am, and obviously she is, but it's a feeling of doubt that never goes away.
Airi needs to constantly be an idol, or she's not an idol at all. And, at least to me, this has come to mean to Airi that if she's not an idol, she's not a girl. Because all of the work she put into being cute and girly was to be an idol. If she can't accomplish that, does she even deserve to be a girl at all? Or is she just a fraud wearing a mask trying to make people laugh on TV?
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Eventually I might write an entire thesis on all the ways Tech shows that he loves and cares deeply about his family; but for now, here's a slightly shorter essay focusing on how Tech dealt with Echo's departure in "The Crossing." 
One of the main themes of this episode is how different people deal with loss/goodbyes, and this is illustrated particularly well by the contrast between Omega and Tech (Hunter and Wrecker are basically the middle ground). Omega, of course, is vocal about how much she misses Echo and initially misinterprets Tech's attitude as him "not caring" that "everything's changing," but it's precisely Tech's attitude and actions that show how much he DOES care.
Tech is fully aware of Echo's absence
Tech relays right away that Echo's comms are off - meaning he had to have been in contact with Echo (or at least tried to contact him) since their parting. He is also the first to propose that the assignments for the mission might need to be adjusted due to Echo's absence leaving them "one man down."
Tech compartmentalizes Echo's departure within the same framework as Crosshair's departure.
I'm inclined to believe he does this because this is how he's able to accept this specific type of change. Of course there are differences between the two - one of which being that Crosshair left on barely civil terms after making it clear he had a hard time accepting that the squad could have different life goals/opinions without being enemies, while Echo left on good terms and made it clear he'd return - but ultimately both brothers left because the pull to pursue a different objective was greater than the call to stay with the family. And while Tech later admits this "can be difficult to understand" - which is likely why he acts as he does at other points in the episode - he understands and respects their decisions at least well enough to know he needs to carry on.
Tech is extra tetchy with the others for most of the episode - and this is NOT typical for him.
Tech has always been dry and blunt, sometimes seemingly emotionless ("seemingly" being the operative word), and he's not shy in expressing his opinions; but rarely has he ever crossed the line into being rude and blatantly argumentative with his squadmates as he is here. For example: in "Aftermath," Wrecker and Tech have a brief exchange during the battle simulation where Tech points out that maybe Wrecker should learn the hand signals and Wrecker gets a touch defensive; but rather than the issue blowing up into a major disagreement, Tech translates the hand signals for Wrecker and they move on. In "The Crossing," however, Tech gets irritated that Wrecker didn't notice the Marauder being stolen, and he just won't let it go. He then gets a bit sharp with Omega when she presses the subject of Echo's departure, telling her "What is your issue?" (He might have inadvertently said borderline insensitive things before, like "Perhaps the situation is not as dire as described. Children often overreact"; but as far as we've seen he has never singled out Omega as the subject of these observations and has never been curt with her.)
Omega, of course, gets frustrated with Tech, primarily because she doesn't see Tech's behavior for what it is: an indication that Tech feels the loss just as much as she does, even if he doesn't express it the same way.
Tech accepts Hunter's and Wrecker's criticism that he has handled things poorly with Omega, and when she finally tells him exactly what is bothering her about his behavior, he takes the time to put his feelings into words
Tech has been more irritable than usual, but he still cares about his family enough to notice when he's gone too far, accept correction, and do his best to smooth things over. He doesn't quite seem to know at first how to approach the topic with Omega so things can be smoothed over; but when she opens up to him, he is silent for a long time as he ponders how best to explain himself to her, rather than brushing aside and avoiding what is obviously a difficult conversation for him but an important one for her.
And thus we get one of my top favorite scenes along with one of my top favorite quotes in the entire Star Wars franchise:
"Echo chose a different path, as did Crosshair. I have to respect their decision. Even though it can be difficult to understand, we must carry on. I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you."
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nina-ya · 21 hours
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Oh my gosh Nina I LOVE your content!!! It's so detailed and lovely without being too wordy and long it's just amazing oh gosh~
If you don't have too many asks and if it's okay, can I ask for a scenario where it's post-war arc and reader is at his bedside holding his hand while he's recovering just waiting for him to finally wake up. And while he's laying there reader realizes that they love him more than a friend/captain. So when he wakes up they're crying on him and they admit how scared they were to lose him.
Even if you don't write it, thank you so much for all of the content you give us!! You should consider opening/sharing a Ko-fi, I would love to give back as a true thank you!!
Have a blessed night ❤
Waiting for Luffy to Wake Up
Pairing: Luffy x Reader CW: Marineford spoilers if you squint. None overall. WC: 1.2k A/N: AAAAA????? Im going to actually sob at your complement it means a lot to me and truly thank you for reading my silly little writings i'm glad if i can bring joy to even one person. I do have a ko-fi! you can find it here!
You’ve grown accustomed to the smell of heavy antiseptic that inhabited the room. The blinding LED lights had been dimmed, as they usually were when night fell, leaving the room shroud in darkness. The only sources of light were the faint glow seeping in from under the door and the dull gleam of the machines that surrounded his bed. Oh, those machines. The machines that whir and beep through all hours of the day to keep him alive. The heart monitor is one of the machines that you are grateful for, though it was a double-edged sword. It's a reminder that his heart still beats, but the constant beep...beep....beep is a sound that you have grown to dread the longer that you hear it– wishing so desperately that you could hear the sound of his laughter instead of this constant reminder that he has gone through something absolutely terrible.
You couldn’t tell how long you had been in that room by Luffy's side. You knew that at least some days had passed since the surgery, but exactly how long was unknown to you as time seemed to blur the longer you waited to see him open his eyes. The creaking and groaning of the submarine, the chatter that could be heard from the other side of the door, the voices of the people who come in and out of the room, all have seemed to just be muted to you. Your mind could not make room for anything else other than the man in front of you. 
You felt a lump form in your throat at the sight of him. How could someone so full of life, so unyielding, be lying here so still? Every move he made all seemed so effortless, it seemed that nothing could bring him down. But now, seeing him like this, you just realized how fragile he could be, and it scared you.
You took hold of his hand, gripping it tight, as if by holding on, you could will him back to consciousness. You could see the rising and falling of his chest to indicate his breathing. You could see the line on the heart monitor rise and fall with each beat of his heart. Yet, you could not help yourself but to distrust the machines lean in, placing your head against his chest and listening for yourself to hear the faint sound of the badump… badump… badump… of his heart to make sure that there is still life in there. 
You sighed in relief hearing that beautiful sound, and yet, other, worrying thoughts occupied you. What if he doesn’t wake up? What if he never opens his eyes again? What if you can never see that smile of his again? Your mind suddenly raced with the things you wish you had said, all the moments you had taken for granted. You leaned back, lifting your head from Luffy’s chest, but your grip on his hand remained tight.
The thoughts began spiraling, bringing forward past memories.  You recalled the first time you met, how he greeted you with that infectious grin, the kind that made you believe that anything was possible. You knew he was special from that moment. You knew that you had to keep him close. And somewhere along the way, without you even realizing it, you knew that you thought of him more than and you just couldn’t ignore it any longer.
Now, as you sat beside him, the weight of him pressed heavily on your heart. Fear and guilt. The two emotions filled your heart. Fear for what the future might hold, for the possibility of losing him forever. Guilt, for not realizing sooner, for not being able to protect him.
You didn’t even realize you were shaking. Your fingers trembled against his, and tears blurred your vision as you fought to contain your emotions. With a shuddering breath, you dropped your head and watched as the tears dropped to the surface below you. You whispered words of encouragement, of hope, of love, though whether they were meant for him your yourself, you couldn’t be sure. “Luffy… please,” you croaked out, your voice cracking with sorrow. “You have to wake up. The crew needs you… I need you…”
You squeezed his hand tighter, lifting your head, allowing the tears to flow down your cheeks as you looked at him. His face was peaceful despite what he went through. And just for a moment, you allowed yourself to imagine a possible future with him if he were to wake up. A future where you could be honest with yourself and with him and could finally tell him how you felt. 
You couldn’t hold back the tears. Your body shook with sobs that left you gasping for breath. You knew that you couldn’t live in a world without him, and the mere thought of it hurt like nothing else. 
In your dazed state, you felt his hand twitch. At first, you dismissed it as wishful thinking, but then you heard a shift in his breathing. Your sobs stopped abruptly as you stared at him with baited breath, wondering if it was just your mind playing a sick and cruel trick. But then you saw it– his chest rose sharply as he gasped for breath, his eyes fluttering open. It was real. 
“Lu…Luffy?” You asked, your voice barely audible. You could not dare believe your eyes. He turned his head towards you, the motion strained and clearly weakened by the toll his body had endured, but the motion was enough to send you flying into his arms. You hugged him as tightly as you could, despite the wires and machines in the way. “Oh my gosh! Y-you’re okay!” you exclaimed between sobs. “Don’t ever do that to me again! Fuck… you had me so scared,” you cried, slumping over him.
Luffy groaned in pain under the weight of your embrace, and you quickly backed off, apologizing for any discomfort you may have caused. “Sorry, sorry,” you stammered, reaching out to touch his face gently. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just…” You traced his face, tears still spilling from your own. “You scared me…”
He looked like he wanted to say something. He struggled, reaching to take off the oxygen mask that was over his mouth. His chest heaved as he took in the air without the help of the mask, something clearly on his mind. Not even discomfort seemed to be at the forefront of his emotions. His voice was raspy and faint, and his words were disjointed as he tried speaking. “Ace?” was all he could ask, confusion evident in his eyes. Your heart sank. You knew that question too well– it was a name that would soon carry a heavy burden for him.
Your confession to Luffy could wait. All those feelings you had just realized can be kept to yourself. Right now, he had more important matters to deal with, a grief that would require your complete and utter support. It wasn’t about you, it was about being there for him during this point in his life. So, you held back those words of love that were on the tip of your tongue. Those can wait. Right now, he just needed you to be there for him more than anything.
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umbrellacam · 1 day
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*steeples fingers and stares at my tablet with gimlet eyes*
so. Road to NML. You mean to tell me that the reason the rest of the country, Congress, and the President himself decided to write Gotham off, blow the bridges, and isolate everyone left - all criminals and asylum lunatics and 'undesirables', of course - was in large part due to *checks notes* a satanic rock star's unnatural, irresistible charisma and cult-like media manipulations aimed at dooming the city for his own benefit?
and that in order to find out what actually happens to this villain, who disappears from the Batman and 'Tec storylines...I'd have to *checks notes* read Azrael's event issues?
....yeah, PASS. I only included JPV's book on my reading list when I absolutely had to (*cough* whenever Cass pops up *cough*), so it's off to the wiki summaries for me!
...but okay, on the one hand I find it very funny how thoroughly fandom has excised this demonic media influencer aspect from the collective consciousness of NML - or at least it had never made its way to me via either fic or fandom posts. I know how few people read comics in general in this fandom, and even for those who do, NML is a Beast that only a percentage have tackled (see: me just starting to pick away at it!), so honestly it's not that surprising.
and like it can easily be left out of the story and still leave it coherent lmao!! One can certainly argue things are in fact neater that way; certainly it's not something that would ever be kept (or at least not in the same form) if NML were adapted to another medium, except as perhaps a normal media demagogue (or a montage of them).
but on the other hand...hmm. Thinking about Hurricane Katrina hitting all of six years after the NML storyline played out. And the debate over whether funds should be used for reconstructing New Orleans and other massively damaged areas. And people around the country wondering if New Orleans would or should be rebuilt at all. Or if a vibrant, historic city would just be basically wiped off the map.
I know this is a conversation that happens everywhere and every time a major disaster wrecks a city. There are always huge fights over disaster aid and funding allocations of any kind.
but man. It's something to see this fictionalized depiction in such close proximity to a real life disaster that paralleled it so strongly, and to know that - yes, there are always people who Do Not Abandon Their Homes and work to reclaim them. Yes, massive amounts of aid (federal and otherwise) and federal reconstruction funding did get dispensed. Yes, people cared, and yes, we rebuilt.
so...maybe we do actually need the demonic social media influencer's evil powers in order to comic book logic explain how everyone in the country turned their backs on Gotham and created No Man's Land.
like - no, it's not necessary. the narrative would work without it. and yet...
the premise imagines - requires? - a significantly more callous, selfish populace. Still plausible and compelling! Possibly even stronger as a story since the turnaround for No Man's Land still hinges on winning the country over to open Gotham back up, let aid in, and rebuild. But. You do have to start from - kind of a bleaker take on humanity?
it also kind of reminds me of what scintillyyy pointed out a few weeks ago about Dick killing the Joker, and how actually there's an important comic book superpower interaction going on there, too, with Rancor present massively amplifying Dick's hate and anger to push him over the edge.
but so few people ever notice or remember that and it certainly isn't one of those things that gets transmitted via fandom osmosis. (It was news to me!!) People focus on Dick breaking down and letting loose solely due to being pushed too far.
and that's extremely compelling on its own! It is! Just like the no-satanic-Nick-Scratch NML.
just thinking about fandom's tendency to ellide the supernatural or powered influences that are canonically affecting a situation, in order to explore/focus on more purely humanistic explanations or motivations...that actually end up being darker than what we might reasonably expect from real life, or from a character's typical values.
like it's part wanting to brush off comic book nonsense, part wanting to dive into gritty realism (that's not always realistic), part not having all the information because of learning things secondhand so you construct the most reasonable explanation...idk it's just interesting.
anyway.
more importantly: Dick and Tim are adorable in 'Tec 727-729!! Especially love them trading off yelling each other's names in fear/alarm, and also trading off protecting each other - Dick's "You hurt that kid and you're gonna be eating through a tube!" and Tim's clever solo rescue of a thoroughly captive Dick via clever use of a voice modulator and a two-way radio. The Boys 😊
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🌈CM Pride Challenge🏳️‍⚧️
Hey everyone, I’m back with another monthly challenge! For the months of May AND June, I am formally challenging any willing writer to take a stab at writing fanfiction including LGBTQA+ PRIDE using their choice of Criminal Minds characters! Reader, Original Character, Character/Character ships, Gen/Platonic fics are allowed!Please check out the Rules below the Keep Reading.
There are a LOT of prompts below the cut, so keep going!
(**This is NOT a request list for me—this is a prompt list of other writers! Feel free to request from someone else, and be sure to let them know about the challenge!)
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General Prompts 🏳️‍🌈
Coming out is so much harder the second time
Describe Character’s first kiss with the same gender
Describe Character(s) spending a day at a Pride parade
The team realizes that A&B were more than roommates
Penelope goes a little overboard on rainbow decorations at Characters’ wedding
Character's marriage mutually comes to an end when they come out... now what?
Character comes out at the same time they announce their new relationship to the team
Character A fears it’s too late for them to live authentically, and B assures them that’s not true
Character A gifts B something colored like their pride flag because “the colors reminded me of you”
Child realizes that not every kid has two moms/two dads and they have a lot of questions about it
Queer characters have a hard time deciding what their child should call them and come up with fun ideas
Character A goes to a LGBT bar with B as a wingperson (or maybe they want them, themselves?)
Anything else you can think of!
More prompts (transgender, assorted, dialogue) below!
Transgender Prompts 🏳️‍⚧️
Character A helps B get their first tailored dress/suit
Character A helps B shave and/or put on makeup
The couple is looking for gender neutral nicknames
Character A buys B specialty gender affirming lingerie
Character is casually referred to with an appropriately gendered nickname for the first time
Characters are renewing their vows and redoing their wedding photos following a coming out
Character A walks in on B wearing a new gender-affirming outfit and surprises them with an enthusiastic compliment
The team throws Character an impromptu first birthday party following their coming out (how did they get a banner so fast?!)
Character A buys B a gender affirming but stereotypical gift (sports jersey, neon pink purse, etc.) that they would otherwise hate (but find absolutely hilarious)
Specific Prompts 💝
[Bisexual] Character gets irritated when people reduce their sexuality to their current partner
[Bisexual] Character A is in a M/F relationship with B and worries that their queer identity will become invisible dating them
[Asexual] Characters explore different forms of non-sexual intimacy
[Asexual] Characters are both asexual but too nervous to tell one another. They awkwardly attempt to have sex but end up laughing at how ridiculous they feel.
Dialogue Prompts 💐
“Are they… flirting?” “Big time.”
“I got to fall in love with you twice.”
“To be seen is to be loved." "I see you.”
“Be gay, do crimes.” “Aren’t you a cop?”
“There is no heterosexual explanation for that.”
“Life is very different once you find your people.”
“Cardinals and hydrangeas can change. Why not you?”
“You're still the person I love. Nothing will change that.”
“We both wear pants. Makes it easier to kick your ass.”
“It’s never felt like this before. I've never felt like this before.”
“I guess it makes sense now why it never worked out with my exes.”
Am I allowed to look at her like that? Could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at? ("She" by Dodie)
“You can kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling ... Well, good luck, babe. You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.” ("Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan)
Rules ❤️🧡💚💙💜🖤🤎
The fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.
Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I’m collecting both! You can also tag it “#mentioningmargins” which is a tag I track.
The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check.Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed.
Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post.
Have fun!
The Masterlist of fics will be posted around June 30. If you finish after that, no problem - just send me the fic once you’re done and I’ll add it after-the-fact!
Feel free to message me if you want help developing a plot, have any questions, or just want to gush about your fic. I’m happy to help, and I’m happy you’re here ❤️
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🌈Happy writing! 🏳️‍⚧️
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Sometimes it's like. You look at someone and you wonder how they go about their days with a reliable memory. What that's like. What it feels like to just know things, to be able to give examples of your life, to be able to answer a question of a happy memory you have without racking your brain for scraps. You plug it into the search box but all you can think about when you see the results is what it must be like to remember that you forgot.
And sometimes it's like. You wonder how anyone functions without that warm feeling in the back of your head of your others, always there for you. Happy and hopeful and picking each other up when one of you falls – maybe a little frayed at the edges, maybe with some wounds that need healing, but sticking together all the same. It's warm like a campfire and warm like excitement, warm like how clouds look to be, even though you know they're cold and wet. You can turn back to them and get a thousand whispered promises of support before you even ask.
And sometimes it's like. You see people laughing at a joke in which you are the butt, the punchline, the freak. And you wonder how they can hate you, how they can show it so casually, what gave them the courage, what prevented their shame. But you never wonder why, because you already know – that's what the joke's about.
And sometimes you know you're not going to remember something even as you're standing in the middle of it. Maybe you try to enjoy the moment – but does it really matter when you're not really experiencing it in the first place?
And sometimes you wonder where you are. And sometimes you wonder who you are.
And sometimes it's like. You're staring at the person who just said they know you, and you have no idea if they're telling the truth, and you have no idea if you can trust them. You don't remember them, but maybe they remember you? Or maybe it's a lie – maybe it's a trick, like how the bullies from childhood would pretend to care. Like how your parents would pretend to care. So you turn them down and admit you don't recognize them, because disappointing someone genuine is safer than risking a knife to the chest – after all, you don't even know if it'll be figurative or literal.
And sometimes it's like. Did your food go bad because you forgot about it? Or is it still good, and you just don't like it right now? Will you like it again later? Did you make the wrong decision in cooking this tonight and not saving it for later? Or did they just change the production of the ingredients? Can you stomach your dinner when you hate it? When it tastes so bad, but used to taste so good?
And sometimes it's like. A melody of a conversation, played with no one else and your mind as the instrument. Hums and bells and chirps and whistles; an orchestra could never outperform what you hear from your own head. It is beautiful and wonderful and you wish everyone could get to experience this, but then you remind yourself that not everyone would enjoy such a thing. And then you wonder why.
And sometimes people write those with voices in their head as murderers. And you watch an ad for an upcoming horror movie with apathy; you can't even be disappointed anymore. You've been upgraded from joke to villain.
And sometimes it's joy passed around from one self to another, gaining momentum, swinging and singing and flying until you can't help but beam and you bite your tongue to keep from laughing because one of your selves just told the best joke you've ever heard.
And sometimes you cry, and they are the only ones there to comfort you.
And sometimes you lash out at them. And sometimes they forgive you. And sometimes that forgiveness only makes you bitter, because it's so foreign. It's the person claiming to know you all over again – why should I trust you? Especially when we make each other into jokes and villains in the eyes of everyone else?
And sometimes it's like. I have no choice but to trust you, to be vulnerable with you, and somehow that makes it easier.
And sometimes your others argue over which bowl to use for your cereal, only for all of you to forget the spoon.
And you wonder what it would be like to remember.
And you wonder what it would be like to decide so easily.
And you wonder what it would be like to hate someone like you – until you remember that you know the answer to that one, because you know what's it's like to hate yourself.
And sometimes your others help you write something that isn't quite poetry but isn't quite not, and you've been trying to write something like this for a while but struggled to find the words, and you're up way too late and should honestly just go to bed but first you have to write this down, and your week has been shitty and you're not out of the woods yet, but at least you have their warmth as you trudge through the dark – something small (but not insignificant) to keep you going, being pulled along by hope that isn't yours and a duty to the ones who have been there for you when no one else was.
And sometimes it's like. Can you guys just choose a spoon already?
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swaps55 · 2 days
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I have never heard of an epithet before! What does it mean?
This is a great question! You have probably seen many of them, and just not heard them referred to as epithets.
An epithet is more or less a descriptive word or phrase that stands in the place of a name or a pronoun, such as, “the taller man,” or “the brown-haired woman.” In my experience, fanfic writers in particular tend to latch onto them, especially when trying to create variety in scenes with two characters who share the same pronouns.
I’ll put my thoughts on them under the cut, because I have Opinions on epithets, but I am not An Authority. I’m not your mom. I’m not here to tell you what to do or how to write, and I’m not here to ruin your fun, but we all have the hills we’ll die on and this one is mine. If you are a fan of epithets, just give this post an eyeroll or the finger and scroll on. If you want to know more about epithets and why I think writers can and should avoid them, read on!
Let me get this out of my system: I loathe epithets. Do whatever you want with your oxford comma, but take your epithets out back and shoot them.
Okay, now that’s out of the way, I’ll be a little more constructive about the purpose epithets serve and why I think they are so frequently used poorly.
In my experience, they’re often used as a tool to avoid pronoun confusion, but it’s an inelegant tool that can become a crutch. You have two characters of the same gender in a scene, you have already used their names in a sentence, but the pronoun antecedent is unclear unless you name the character again. You don’t want to do that because it feels repetitive, so you pick out a physical quality and use that instead. Problem solved! Except instead of solve the problem, you’ve potentially introduced new ones.
Nuance is important, and to talk tools we should be using the same toolbox, so for the sake of this argument I’m going to assume we’re talking about 3rd person limited POV, because that’s what I generally see, read, and write the most of.
Chances are very high that the descriptor you chose for your epithet derived from you the writer’s perception of the character being described and not the POV character. This is important, because if you are writing in 3rd person limited, the way you describe other people is how the POV character sees the person being described.  
Now tell me. Have you ever thought of a close friend, a lover, or someone whose name you know as, “the taller woman,” or “the dark-haired man?” Have you ever thought about YOURSELF in these terms? Probably not. I have never looked at my Real Life Romance Option and thought of him as “the brown-eyed man” or “the taller man.” I’ve also quite frankly never consciously thought of him as “my lover.” Is he all of those things? Yes. But from my POV, those are never descriptors I would use for him. Once you know a person’s name, they tend to become Their Name and not ‘Random Characteristic” in your mental picture of them.
So when you default to Random Characteristic, it’s usually the writer talking, not the character. And chances are high that the characteristic you choose to represent is not something that is important to the POV character or the scene in that moment. Therefore, is it significant enough to the reader that it clearly identifies the character, or does the reader now have to stop and think, ‘wait, which one is taller?’ So instead of eliminate confusion, you may have actually introduced more of it.
And even if it is an important detail, stating it as a fact is generally a lot less effective than making it part of the character work being done in the scene. For example:
“Can you help me reach this?” Jed asks the taller man. Leo stops chopping vegetables to oblige, and snags the wine glass the shorter man couldn’t reach off the shelf.
Vs.
Jed sighs as he makes another futile swipe with his fingers and barely grazes the bottom of the shelf. He looks over at Leo, blissfully chopping vegetables in a world where stepstools are for other people. “Can you help me reach this?” Leo sets the knife down and looms behind him, effortlessly snagging the wine glass and handing it to Jed with a grin.   
Hopefully, the second example feels more impactful than the first, because the height difference became part of the scene, and not just a descriptor cosplaying as a pronoun.
Epithets become even more distracting when they become part of a prose style rather than just a means to avoid pronoun confusion or name repetition. I see a lot of writers make the stylistic choice to have a POV character refer to themselves as an epithet right alongside the epithets being thrown around for other characters, and there are so many crammed into a paragraph or two I can’t figure out who is doing what.
At best, epithets are distracting. At their worst, they’re actively confusing when their purpose is to do the opposite.
“But Swaps, if I don’t use an epithet, how do I avoid pronoun confusion without wanting to throw myself out a window?”
This is a problem every writer contends with, whether you’re writing same gender smut, combat, or just have two people of the same gender doing things in a scene together. And unfortunately, this is one of those ways in which writing is hard. When you have some pronoun confusion in a sentence you can’t wriggle your way out of, the answer is probably to try a different sentence. Break the sentence up. Structure it differently. Finding the better sentence is part of becoming a better writer. 
If repetition is what you’re concerned about, know that just saying a character’s name and using their pronoun is okay. It’s like ‘said.’ ‘Said’ isn’t a trendy word that goes in and out of style. It’s a building block word that blends into the background. Can you get fancier than ‘said?’ Sure! But do it with purpose. Don’t be afraid to use a character’s name. It’s their name. It’s what you’re supposed to call them. Why are we fighting so hard to respect people’s names and pronouns if all we’re going to do is replace them with epithets? (Kidding. Mostly.) And if you’re using their name so much it’s interfering with readability…it’s probably time to revisit a few of those sentences and figure out what the better sentence is.
When can you use an epithet?
I joke that there are no exceptions to my There Are No Good Epithets stance, but there are. Sort of. Because rules are made to be broken, though I do believe you should understand why the rule exists before you break it, and you should break it with purpose.
Here’s the easy one.  
Epithets are useful when the POV character doesn’t know a character’s name. Now you have to use something else! And here’s the great thing about that: the epithet is now a vehicle for characterization. What about this stranger stands out enough to get the POV character’s attention? Do they notice a physical characteristic? Clothes? Attitude? What does the thing they notice say about the POV character and the character being observed?
For instance, my POV character is eavesdropping on a conversation between two people in a restaurant. You could grab the low hanging fruit and describe them as, “the brunet woman” and the “older man.” Or you could make your scene work harder. “The man with the punchable face,” or “the woman who makes eye rolling an art form.” Or how about, “the woman wearing fake pearls,” shorthanded to Fake Pearls Woman, and “the man with the name-brand suit that’s seen better days,” shorthanded to Shabby Suit. Now you’ve said something about the characters that place them in a more useful context than their hair color – you’ve said something about them that helps inform the scene, and how your POV character observes the world around them.    
Are there other instances where you can effectively use an epithet? Yes, if you are using them like this: with narrative purpose. And in those cases, is it really just an epithet anymore? It is in that yes, it is a descriptor taking the place of a name or pronoun, but it’s doing a lot more heavy lifting now. Maybe you have a character who chronically can’t remember or can’t be assed to remember people’s names. The epithet is now a means of characterization. Maybe you have a Jekyll and Hyde style character, in which a descriptor of those different personas becomes a means of setting a scene or crafting their relationship with the POV character. These descriptors are narrative vehicles being used with intention. “The other man,” is rarely a tool being used with any real intention. If there is an instance of it, I have never seen it.
Now, if reading this makes you second guess your own work, or to feel like you write wrong, or if the thought of going to painstaking lengths to rewire sentences you would typically use an epithet in gives you hives, there’s an easy solution: forget about this post.
Because fanfic is supposed to be fun. It’s your hobby. You are not getting paid for it. You don’t have to use a specific writing style, or meet anyone else’s expectations. That’s part of what makes fanfic such a beautiful thing. You can do whatever makes you happy. Not me, not anyone else. If you fucking love using epithets, use them. If you think I am made of bullshit, give this post the finger like I initially suggested and write five epithets just to spite me. No one will stop you, certainly not me. Though I will continue hating epithets, because you can’t stop me, either. XD
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amysgiantbees · 7 hours
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Dead Boy Detectives Spoilers
I ADORE the Cat King and I'm really fascinated by him and I just love how detailed everything about him is.
A few thoughts on him...
I love that he's living at Empire fish company to harken to his royal status.
I adore the headcannon that he's Desire's child. Especially since their actor tweeted about it!
I'm presuming since he had to ask which boy put the spell on his cat that he can't see through his cat's eyes, they have to report back to him. And, knowing cats, they have to want to report back too. They don't just do it out of obligation. So, I'd like to think he's a pretty decent ruler which is nice.
I love that his loneliness is tied in to almost every interaction he has with Edwin. From insisting that he likes to keep things consensual then putting a spell that forces them to be closer. To watching out for/stalking Edwin with his cats. To forcing him to tell the truth but only a little bit in a kind of desperate attempt to get Edwin to see he cares about him and embraces him for who he is. Edwin calling him lonely really doesn't come from nowhere to humanize him which I love. It's great that even the minor character's motivations are well thought through in the show.
I'm also not saying any of this behaivour is okay though. It's creepy and pathetic. But there's a few factors that make me love the character and not just write him off as an incel light creep (not that you can't like characters that are bad people but I don't even see him as really a bad person). Firstly... he's hot. Enough said. Another way that makes me emphasize with him is just that his actor is SO charismatic. It really does make a difference that he's just SO fun to watch. Also, not that I've never been harassed by a queer guy before, but him being not straight does help beat the incel/total creep vibes in my mind. Also, the way that he will push a boundary but say or do something that softens what he's done helps too. Like saying he thinks consent is important, like only sending the cats to watch the boys when they're actively doing something dangerous, like ranting and raving in the woods that Edwin will regret this but instead continuing to try to protect him from Esther. I think he clearly cares enough about Edwin that if Edwin was REALLY that uninterested in him and uncomfortable he would of just have given him a different punishment too. Admittedly however, having good intentions or not being as bad as you could be does not stop something from being inappropriate obviously. But I do think it definitely helps.
I also am not particularly bothered by any potential creepiness from the Cat King as the way in interviews everyone talks about him is that he had a very specific role to play. He was made to be Edwin's sexual awakening. Yes he could have just been a guy that like always seems to be obliviously shirtless going on runs or something like that and it would have been less problematic. But, for one, I'm sure Edwin's seen that before and just looks away when it happens. Two, Edwin is SO repressed I think it makes a lot of narrative sense that he needs someone SO pushy and desperate in return to wake him up. I don't see this as condoning this behaivour because real people aren't deeply repressed Victorian ghosts that couldn't access therapy even if they wanted to on account of being dead. So I'm willing to look past some of his worst actions since he by the end is clearly growing and is fictional and fantastical.
Furthermore, as I'm sure many people have seen in recent popular discourses media does not need to be morally pure. I don't think that that should be a get out of jail free card either though. Or that creatives should be allowed to make whatever offensive shit they want and then say but "it's art" or "it's satire". Context matters. It's important how you frame something. And sure the Cat King is not punished for his bad behaivour but he is framed in such a way that I feel like he is not supported for it either. He doesn't get "rewarded" with Edwin in the end. He's not even guaranteed to have his company in even a platonic way since they're heading back to London and he, presumably, has to stay in his kingdom (he calls himself A cat king so I'm assuming there's others elsewhere so he probably can't go to London and intrude on another's territory unless maybe it's just that there's one and he's not the first and a new one will pop up after he dies dies).
I personally like the idea of the Cat King and Edwin going from antagonists, to friends to lovers because I like their dynamic because messiness is fun in fiction and I like Charles and Crystal together (although I do love Charles/Edwin and Niko/Crystal too). But that's just me. Or even I would love for them to become friends and not date, but for the Cat King to be a safe friend for Edwin to explore his sexuality with in a kind of situation-ship before eventually being endgame with Charles.
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tulipsforvin · 1 day
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Hi Vin dk if Tumblr ate my other asksbut I wanted to say your writing is really good! I love your mtp fics! I think your writing is really good so you should write for other fandoms and not just mtp as well because it is so small community compared to other fandoms and that way you can get more recognition
nahh ☠️☠️ i think you're just trolling at this rate. i'll try to make this sound as nice as i'm capable of making it sound; how come i've received like two other asks from you on the same matter, each telling me that i can delete it if i didn't want to respond & yet i continue to receive more.. and the only difference is how you phrase your sentences each time?
i appreciate your words, i do, and knowing that you like my fics makes me genuinely happy but come on man. small community ?? more recognition ??? i write because i find writing fun and i decided to write for mtp because i find writing for mtp fun, lol.
it's not about getting recognition or any other bs like that. are you implying that just because a community is small people should just.. not interact with it? put aside every single reason that made them interested in said fandom in the first place? just chase the fame instead by interacting/posting about more popular fandoms and franchises? be boring and unoriginal? i'm sure other mtp fanfic writers and just people that enjoy mtp in general on this app (and other apps/websites) share the same sentiment — it's not a matter of writing because we want the reblogs and notes, it's because it makes us happy and seeing other people enjoy what we enjoy is encouragement for us. it was never, ever about recognition. it was about finding place, lol. our place.
i ended up ranting but yeah. have a nice day, anon.
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arson4kids · 3 days
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𝒜𝓇𝓂𝓎 𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓇𝓈 ⋆
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warnings: sorry y'all this fic is ANGSTY, multi-part series (it's gonna get better trust), bad writing (sue me), mentions of heavy drinking & (light) drug use, mentions of depression, mentions of blood & death, PTSD/panic attacks, ellie needs a hug, more closed off ellie and reader, ellie and reader were never really friends, reader isn't masc or fem (sorry), eventual smut. NOT PROOF READ.
wc: 1620
approx. read time: 12.5 minutes
a/n: sorry i disappeared to those who follow me/read my fics on occasion. i've had zero motivation to write lately. this is more to set the stage for the rest of the series so there isn't much dialog. go easy on me yall i barely write stuff on here.
synopsis: Ellie, having been gone in Santa Barbara for so long, doesn't get the warm welcome she was hoping for. In fact, she's become more of a stranger in her own home that she wonders if she should have never come back. Without means of escape from this new hellish reality...she turns to you for help.
The day she came back couldn't have gone worse. Everyone thought she had died, and you were starting to wonder if people wished she did. Her arrival into Jackson was met with nothing but hostility. Dina refused to speak to her, let alone look at her. The sight was surely something to behold. A once beloved member of the small survivor's community now shunned and shut out. You couldn't say you were surprised.
The day she had left Dina had taken up her things and her young son and marched right back into Jackson. She wasted no time telling everyone exactly what happened. It was safe to say Tommy and Maria didn't last long after that. People stopped regarding Ellie as a mourning girl trying to find closure. She was looking more and more like a monster in the eyes of the town the longer time passed. People began to blame her for the death of Jesse and Dina's growing depression. Some people even came to blame her for Tommy and Maria's separation. The town was already in shambles before she came back. And it was safe to say her return didn't help.
Now, you couldn't say you knew her personally. Sure the two of you hung out and got drunk on occasion after patrols. She would invite you over every once in a while to watch cheesy action movies with her. You'd help her in the stables when she needed it. You considered her a friend of sorts, but you two weren't close by any means. You couldn't even recall her favorite colour. But that didn't prove to soothe the dull ache in your chest as Maria yelled at her openly out in the town's square. You swore you saw a tear drop from the auburn haired girl's eye. She had gone through so much, but who were you to comfort her? That wouldn't get you anywhere. Once Maria finished speaking Ellie held her head up despite everything, marching past you and the others without a second glance. You didn't know how long this would last. Hopefully not long.
.
.
.
Despite her efforts, she couldn't do anything anymore. She was forbidden to go on patrols. Maria even refused to put her on farming rotation. She was forced to live fully isolated from everybody. Even when she did leave the house, nobody treated her like they once did. A passing glance from an older woman. Children bowing their heads and diverting their gazes. Dina pulled her curtains shut when Ellie so much as looked in her direction. Even Kat was avoiding her like the plague. So when you were the last one on the block that wasn't turning and running...you gave her a small smile.
At first, she didn't seem to care. She'd bow her head or give you a small nod. Possibly a passing grunt. But as time went on she began warming up to you. Maybe it was because she had no one else. Maybe she was desperate. Whatever it was, you were all she had. Well, not really. All she had in her mind was her whiskey and her thoughts to keep her company. You could smell it on her breath when she walked by. You could sometimes even pick up traces of...weed? Was she ever sober anymore? You doubted it. You almost couldn't blame her.
The days began to fade into weeks and Ellie got no better. She barely left the house anymore, when she did it was merely to get wasted and go back home. You could feel your stomach twisting into knots whenever you saw her stumbling back out onto the streets some afternoons after your patrol. She barely looked like herself anymore. She was thin. Her once fair skin now holding a sickly glow to it. The circles under her eyes only got darker the more she drank. She'd surely drink herself straight to the grave at this rate. Could she even care? You couldn't be sure.
Despite your friend urging you not to, you followed the pale girl into the bar one evening. You had to see the end of this. You couldn't give a flying fuck what people thought about you after this. You weren't going to sit by and watch this once spirited girl drink herself away just because everyone else could. How could you live with yourself if you did?
It didn't take you very long to spot her once you were in there. The bar was mostly empty as it usually was on weekdays, only a few drunk men were silently slumped over tables or aimlessly chatting each other up. The dull buzz of conversation didn't distract you as you watched her sitting alone in the back corner. Her hand on her cheek, she sat silently as she tried to eat some crackers, an already empty glass of whiskey by her left hand. The sight was so pitiful in itself you almost couldn't watch.
Taking a deep breath and forcing all your doubts aside, you slowly approached her table. Her eyes were quick to follow you even before you got close enough to speak. It made you uneasy as you took the seat across from her. She furrowed her brow, maybe out of confusion. You couldn't tell. You quickly cleared your throat to hopefully ease the sudden tension between the two of you. It hung heavily in the air, much like the smoke of an old cigar. Overbearing. Suffocating.
"Hey." You finally forced yourself to choke out, trying to play it cool. Ellie set her cracker aside, meeting your gaze.
"Hey." She replied, her tone much like yours. Unsure. You felt bad for her. How could you not.
"How's it going?" You asked, as if it wasn't already obvious. You wanted to kick yourself as you heard the auburn haired girl scoff and straighten herself out in her chair. You half expected her to yell at you and tell you to leave her alone so her response caught you off guard.
"Y'know. Just great." She laughed bitterly. Your heart swelled with guilt. Maybe this went deeper than you thought.
"Do you maybe want to talk about it?"
"About what?"
You thought a moment before responding, swallowing a lump in your throat you didn't even know was there.
"What happened...out there."
Ellie furrowed her brow as you spoke. You could hear her tapping her heal against the cool wooden floor of the bar.
"You mean in Santa Barbara?" Ellie simply shook her head.
"I don't think so."
Her response, while you were slightly disappointed, was expected. You didn't expect her to open up to you.
"Well is there anything I can do so you don't have to do this?" You asked, gesturing to the empty glass of whiskey. Ellie glanced up at you. She almost seemed surprised you brought it up. A nervous pit formed in your stomach as the silence returned. Her sudden shift in attitude told you all that you had to know. She couldn't trust you. And you wouldn't force her to. You stood to leave and almost yelped when you felt a sudden warm hand clasp around your wrist. You were saddened when you met Ellie's near desperate gaze when you looked back over to her. Her grip on you tightened as her eyes suddenly welled up with tears.
"Please..." She nearly whimpered. "Don't leave me alone."
You never expected this from her, considering how aloof she was normally. You gently loosened her grip on your arm.
"Do you want to come home with me? We can watch Jurassic Park or some shit."
.
.
.
When you invited her back to watch a movie, you didn't think it'd end with her sobbing into your chest as she spilled all the gruesome details of the past few years to you. She told you about Joel's death and how that led to the events of Seattle, her time at the farm with Dina and how she thought she would stay there forever before she left for Santa Barbara. With each of her hot tears against your skin brought a new story from her. You almost thought she was having a panic attack thanks to how much and how long she had been sobbing. You didn't have the heart to stop her. All you could do is hold her against you and hope that you were providing her with a small amount of comfort just by being there. You would have sat up with her all night if she asked you to. You almost did until the poor girl ended up falling asleep right in your arms from sheer exhaustion. You didn't have the heart to push her away.
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.
.
From that night on, Ellie stayed with you. She had made herself at home slowly in your guest bedroom. She finally started to heal. People were starting to lessen up on her, even if it was only slightly. That almost didn't matter to her anymore thanks to your ongoing support. She even had the chance to formally talk to Dina and see her son again. All of this started to lull Ellie into a form of peace she never thought she'd reach again. It brought you peace as well.
While all of this was going on, you couldn't help but notice how much closer Ellie was getting to you. It started with friendly greetings and holding your hand to her talking to you late at night while she played with your hair. You were stating to question what she meant to you. What you meant to her. You almost felt guilty for thinking you were anything more than just a friend to her. But, only time could tell, right?
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