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#I used to say ‘yea it may not be the body I’m supposed to have but at least it works just fine’

tootiecakes234 · 3 months

Text

Katsuki’s POV:

I fucking hate myself. I was never supposed to become this type of sick idiot.

But here I am, across the room staring at her because she’s laughing, and it’s one of those full body laughs. She’s not trying to cover her face or stifle it at all. Sometimes she gets self conscious about her laugh being too weird or too loud but she couldn’t give two fucks about that right now and I physically cant tear my eyes away from her.

I’m aware that Eijirou is talking to me, but I’m not hearing anything he’s saying. It’s not until Denki’s face pops up in my line of vision that I finally snap out of what ever fucking trance the temptress had put on me.

“Baku-bro you should really close your mouth before something flies in it.” Denki says with a goofy grin on his face.

“Yea well, you should close your mouth before I shove my fist in it dumbass.”

“Hey, leave him alone. He’s in love.” And Eiji bumps his shoulder up against me. “It’s super manly.”

“Do you idiots ever shut up and mind your business?” I shout because I hate being called out about her. I swear I’m trying my best to not follow her around like a lost puppy but all that does is have me tracking her around with me eyes like a goddamn stalker.

“Dude, no one is saying it’s a bad thing. She’s super hot. Sometimes you can’t help but stare at her.” Denki says with a smirk on his face. He’s goading me. “ but you know what’s better than staring… touching. I might just run over and give her a big old hu- woah dude. I’m kidding calm down.”

My hands grabbing the front of his shirt and I can feel the sparks about to start flying from my hand. Then I feel a soft hand on my forearm and the effect she has on me is immediate.

I cut my eyes over and catch her smiling at me and just like that the sparks stop because I’ll be damned if I ever do anything that might end up hurting her.

“Kats… what have we said about hurting our friends….. they may be stupid but that doesn’t give us a right to kick their asses right???” She’s speaking slowly like she’s trying to talk down a jumper.

“Yea Kats. Don’t beat up your friends.” Denki’s smug voice caused my hand with his shirt to clench a little tighter.

“Denki dude. You’ve gotta cut it out before he murders you.” Eiji says that like he’s trying to help but the asshole is also snickering.

Then the hand on my forearm slides up my arm, across my chest and ends up wrapping around my neck and that’s it. She’s got me.

“Come on bub. I’m hungry, let’s go get food. Leave the evil men to cause chaos amongst themselves.” Then she’s pulling me away and all I can do is follow.

I turn my head quick tho and shout, “watch your back dunts face. I still owe you an ass whoopin!”

“Yea yea lover boy.” And his friends chuckle behind him.

And that’s what i am now isn’t it? It’s what she’s turned me into. A man so deep in fucking love that all she had to do was say the word and I’d fall to my fucking knees for her.

This shit is so embarrassing🙄

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#imagine #bakugou x reader #mha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #bakugou drabble #bakugou katsuki x reader #drabble #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugo headcanons #fluff #bnha katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader

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starsomens · 7 months

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“Yeah so this tour was one of our longest but also most reWARding”

“Noah…you okay there?” The interviewer asked

“Y-yes just fine..just rolled over my foot with my chair” he chuckled clearly out of a breath

“Alright just making, so I got one more question to wrap things up here”

Little did they know that under that desk you were the cause of Noah’s struggle. You were both supposed to get some pent up energy out before the interview but you didn’t have enough time. So you may or may have not snuck into the room and under the desk. Flipped him out of his sweats and started at the end of the interview. Just a few pumps every now and then nothing Noah can’t handle. Then came your tongue. Your fucking tongue. Giving little licks to the tip, long licks up the bottom of the shaft sending shivers through his body. Using his tip like a lollipop, licking, sucking and popping it in and out of your mouth.

Of Al times. You decided to taking him in right at the last 2 questions. His breath was shaking, his eyes were distant, he was pissed off but he was also fucking horny. Feeling your mouth bobbing up and down his length. One of his hands was able and to get away and grab a hold of your hair and push you down on his dick fully causing a slight gag, leaving Noah satisfied but in the verge of just hanging up the call

“Yea She’s doing great” you hear him say

“Yea whenever we see you both together it’s great you look like you have a great dynamic”

“Yeah we rEAlly do. She support me..and helps me with whatever she can and visa versa. COULDNT ask for someone better” he meant every word he just hated that you were doing this while he spoke. He felt you hallow your cheeks to suck on him more harshly. You were enjoying every second of this. From the way he filled your mouth, to his taste to knowing how helpless he was in that moment from try to keep the interviewer from knowing what was happening.

You hear the call end and his chair rolls back enough to look at you.

“You little slut” He scowled making you look at him by pulling your hair back enough “you want to show me what a slut you are huh? Grind on my shoe while I face fuck you”

You couldn’t deny you had been throbbing the entire time you were getting him off. While one hand pumped him the other was playing with you clit just imagining what would come after. However this was the last thing you’d think of. He flexed his foot slightly upwards so you’re able to ride and grind on it. His large hand holding your head in place as he fucks your mouth

“Shit…fucking take it. Isnt this…what you wanted?” He asked looking down at you feeling your legs start to shake on either side of his leg. Tears ran down your face, you shook against his leg as you could feel an orgasm approaching so close to

“Fuck…shit I’m gonna cum!” He closes his eyes throwing his head back against his chair “fuck…Fuck!” His hips stutter against your mouth as he poured himself into your mouth and down your throat. He pants heavily as you pull him out of your mouth, out of breath and fucked out of your mind. His cum drips down from your mouth, your panties were soaked and you were pretty sure those white vans of his had a stain now.

His hand cups your jaw to look up at him

“Baby…I love how needy you can get, and it was pretty hot” he admired bringing your face closer to his “but don’t do that shit again, unless you wanna be fucked on camera next time” he kisses your forehead helping you up in to his lap from the floor

“How about a shower? I think we both need it” you offer

“Well you more than me” he smirked whipping the corner of your mouth.

#noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #it happened again #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #star’s blurbs✨

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authornina · 1 year

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Pie Session: Tyler “Drama” Walker

“Tyler, would you like to do some breathing exercises?”

“My name not no fuckin’ Tyler!”

“You gave me permission in the beginning of our session to call you by your first name.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Okay,” Dr. Pie realized what happened. “What would you like me to call you?”

“Dra...maaaaaaa...” he emphasized sarcastically.

“My apologies, Drama. You seem a little upset.”

“I am, I don’t wanna be up in here witchu.”

“Will thinks we can work on your anger together.”

“I ain’t got no anger. This shit court ordered because they wanna put me back in the box.”

“Box?”

“You know what the fuck I’m talkin’ bout!” Tyler, well, Drama shouted. “Just like them muhfuckas!”

“Who, Drama? Who am I like?”

“All my doctors. They think I’m crazy.”

“I don’t think you are.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope, I believe you are dealing with some things on the inside that we can try and resolve together.”

Drama closed his eyes doing the breathing exercises they worked on before. Every session started out this way. No matter how many times Dr. Pie saw him, they went through the same course of interaction with one another before actually getting into their session.

He suffered from anterograde amnesia. He easily forgot his daily routines, thoughts, conversations and a slew of other things. If his attention wasn’t on one thing for more than thirty seconds to a minute, it became a distant memory. It caused him to develop dissociative identity disorder which was why he quickly went from Tyler to his alternative personality, “Drama.”

“How is Paige, Drama?”

“The fuck am I supposed to know? Ask that nigga,” he pointed his thumb to the empty space next to him.

“Who is he?”

“Paige daddy!”

“My apologies, may I ask his name?”

“Tyler, what the fuck? Pie, please stop actin’ like a dickhead.”

“Now that wasn’t very nice, Drama.”

“My fault,” he laughed with his fist to his mouth. “But you always askin’ me about his kid.”

“I thought she was your daughter?”

“Nah, I took a DNA test, she wasn’t mine.”

“How did Tiana handle that news?”

“I mean, she knew what it was when her hoe ass opened her legs.”

“What does Tyler say?”

“Ask himmmmmm...”

Dr. Pie stared at her patient for a few seconds, his brown brooding eyes boring into hers. He was going blank, so she had to hurry and try to bring who he was originally back before all thought was lost.

“Tyler...” she attempted and the body who shared two personalities shifted in his seat slightly while blinking rapidly.

“Hm?”

“I asked how Paige is doing.”

“Oh she good,” Tyler answered. “I was allowed to see her this past weekend and we went to the park; I took her to the store. They don’t really let me do much with her.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“I don’t know, I mean...it doesn’t feel good that people around me think I’d hurt my own daughter. I wouldn’t, I love her.”

“I’m sure you do. How is everything going with Noella?”

“Man...” Tyler smiled boyishly, stretching his long legs. “That girl is something else.”

“Really? How so?”

“The way she suck my dick...I ain’t ever had it like that before.”

“Drama?”

“It’s me,” he smiled but his was much more menacing than the kind and gentle one Tyler displayed seconds ago.

“Have you been sleeping with Tyler’s girlfriend?”

“Every chance I get. Her ass was too fat for me to pass up. His bitch ass don’t know what to do with all that.”

“I don’t think that’s very honest of you. Don’t you think he’d be upset about that?”

“What he gon’ do?”

“I think whenever you get a chance, you need to apologize to him.”

“Yea right, I will do no such thing. He the reason we in all this shit in the first place.”

“All what shit?”

“Here with you, in and out of hospitals, he the reason Will don’t trust me.”

“I thought Will stopped trusting you because you lied, Drama.”

“So! I can’t get a little attention from his ass too? He only love Tyler.”

“He’s Tyler’s father.”

“Then who the fuck is my parents?”

“We don’t need to use that language.”

“Who are my parents?”

“Would you like me to be honest?”

“Yes.”

“Drama, you are manifested in the mind of Tyler. You don’t have any parents.”

“Fuck you, Pie! Straight up! The fuck kinda therapist tell people some shit like that?!”

“I’m only being honest with you just like we talked about from the beginning.”

“Well honest these nuts,” Drama stood up. “I’m gone!” he stormed out of the office. “The fuck you bring me here for Will?!”

Dr. Pie heard him start to engage in an argument with Tyler’s father. She got up and went into the waiting area.

“Man,” Will didn’t even acknowledge him seeing as his son was not currently present. “Is he done?” he asked, looking past “Drama,” to Dr. Pie.

“I suppose, he’s a bit on the edge today. This is our third switch.”

“See how y’all talk like I’m not even here?”

“Nigga because you not!” Will shouted.

“Okay Mr. Walker, remember how we talked about handling Drama here when he’s angry.”

“I ain’t got time for this shit today!”

“Nigga, neither do I!” Drama yelled at Will. “This why I can’t fuck witchu now!”

Will exhaled trying to remember that past this persona he could not stand one bit, his son rested, almost in a sleep state. He hated this Drama character Tyler took on. At first when it happened, Will thought it was a joke until he saw the nigga in action. He had to be convinced by several doctors and finally Dr. Pie confirming his son’s “split personality disorder.”

Let’s go, nigga,” Will told him.

“I’ll see you later, Pie Pie,” Drama waved, giving her spirit fingers with a devious smirk.

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sifinspace · 24 days

Text

“So you actually said I could go?” Sif teased.

“Of course. I can handle the ship for a couple hours.” Joker said.

“Great. I just need a night away. It’s felt like an eternity since I’ve done anything fun.” She paused and looked at him. “I think the last time I had a good time was when we were on Tiptree together.”

“That’s sad, you need to get out more.”

“I would, but then who would take care of you?” She laughed.

“Are you sure though? Shepard, you know his track record?” Joker tried to feel her out.

“I mean, yea, but Jeff, I just, I need to feel special. To someone. It’s been so long.” She pleaded.

“You’re special to me you know.”

“So you say, but not in the way I’m special to Shepard.”

“But why the Commander, you could do so much better.”

“Seriously? You want to take me out instead?”

“I never said I was better than Shepard.”

“I asked you a question.”

“No. We talked about this a long time ago. Go have fun. Just don’t come crying to me when he hurts you.” Joker mumbled.

“You say that as if it’s going to happen.”

“Well, when hasn’t it?”

“Alright - it’s fine. I can handle it on my own. Like always.“ she said, laying down in bed.

Joker sat down next to her, and hung his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole.”

“Yea well, I’m used to it.” She said rolling away from him. “Your pre-apology really is useful.”

Joker laid down next to her and turned her back to face him. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. Ever.”

He was inches from her face. His eyes meant what he said. Sif crawled up next to him and put her head on his shoulder.

“I know. I’ll be okay, you have to stop worrying. I can kick Sheps ass anyway if I wanted to.” She smiled.

“Yea thats not the point. I just worry. We’ve been friends a very long time, and ever since Nate, then Kaiden, I just hate seeing you in pain again.”

Sif hadn’t thought about Nate in years. Kaiden she thought about more often.

Her heart ached. “Yea I guess that’s true.”

Joker wrapped his other arm around Sif like he did when he’d say something that would hurt her. He did

it all too often. A coping mechanism for his insecurity. “Just don’t, make regrets.”

“Only memories.” She said as she laid quietly next to him. Her smooth legs running under her blanket, and his chest slowly going up and down. She put her hand on his heart.

“Well It still beats.” She laughed. “You can say nice things.”

“So long as it beats, I’ll protect you as best I can.”

Since the Kaiden died, Joker came to bed more often, he also started to hold her close every night since then. His way of saying ‘it will be alright’.

She was happy.

——-

Everyone had disembarked the ship for the mission. Joker sat in the cockpit waiting further instructions.

Nothing. Radio silence.

“Sif -“ he shouted over the com. “Sif!”

“What?!”

“We’ve got company.”

“Shit, get out of there!” She yelled.

“You too - make your way to the helm

.”

Silence.

Joker watched helplessly on his screen his ship being boarded by Collectors.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” He tossed his head back .

“Joker - you need to crawl through the vents to access the system override. If not, hope may be lost.” EDI buzzed.

“I’m not going to let you

out. That would be chaos.”

“Then you will die. Give me full control of the ship. I can save it.

“Shit shit shit!” Joker got up and started down to the

vents. .His body limping and the speed hard to keep up.

He made his way to the Main frame. “Don’t let me down EDI.”

He activated the override protocol.

“Did it work? Can you see Sif?”

“Sorry joker she was taken off the ship. There are no life forms on board other than yours.” EDI said. “Prepare for vac locks open.”

Joker put on his head gear and strapped himself down. The rush of air whirling past his head and the providing of regret as he realized his friend was gone.

——

“They took everyone?” Shepard questioned.

“Everyone - the collectors have returned to their ship.” EDI said. “I was able to track them - you need to go after them.”

“Obviously. Joker, fly us in close. No way I’m letting those bastards steal our crew.”

Joker looked backwards toward Shepard. “Get her back.”

Shepard nodded.

——-

Shepard ran around the corner of the escaping

ship.

Pods, so many pods, on this small ship. The collectors had a plan.

“How the hell am I going to find my crew with all these things?” He thought.

“The probability of finding anyone is 1 in”

“EDI just don’t tell me the odds. Start scanning for life forms.”

Shepard, Tali and Grunt scanned the pods.

“This is hopeless!” Grunt shouted.

“Without hope, you give up on the future.” Tali said.

“It doesn’t matter, we have the fighters let’s forget

about the rest.” Grunt ordered.

“Grunt, the crew is my clan. Would you give up your clan!?” Shepard said forcefully as he got in his face.

“No, I suppose not.” He backed down.

“Look!” Tali pointed to a pod that

was moving.

The three of them walked up to a pod and sliced it open. Out fell Dr. Chakwas.

“Thank heavens you showed up.” She said getting to her feet. “I’m alright I’m alright. But you need to get the rest of us that are still alive.”

“Where are they?” Shepard asked.

“Around the corner, there’s a pile of bodies. Thats where I was brought in from.”

“Hold tight, we’re going to get you out of here in a minute. Have you seen Our co-pilot?”

“Sif? No. I just know they took everyone else through that corridor.”

Shepard, Grunt and Tali ran to the corner. As soon as they turned they saw it. A pile of bodies. Half unrecognizable. Tali bent down and took the tags off of one of the corpses.

“Mess Sargent Gardner.” She said sadly.

“Shit.” Shepard’s own heart stopped in his chest. “Anyone else in there?”

Tali ran her Omni tool over the pile of unrecognizable corpses.

“There are vital signs. You must dig.” EDI said.

“ Grunt let’s go!” They dug through the pile of charred remains.

One after one they checked the tags, and took the ones they knew. They’d honor them when they had the chance. They kept digging, and as they moved the last body, they were greeted by a surge of biotic power that blew all three of them back.

“What the hell?” Grunt moaned as he got up.

Shepard walked over and reached down. He felt something different.

“This is it!” He pulled out a pale body. Not one that had been burned, but it had been so badly bruised you’d never know otherwise.

“Sif!” Shepard laid her down gently and started to scan her with his Omni tool.

“Her vital signs are weak, but she’s alive. Get her back to the Normandy and I’ll run a full diagnosis.” EDI said.

For the first time since hitting that ship, Shepard felt a sense of relief. “EDI, tell Joker we have her.”

“I took the liberty already. Joker will meet her in the med lab.”

Tali gently held Sifs hand as Shepard carried her back to th e transport.

“She’s a special woman to all of us. I had no idea she had biotic powers.” Tali said thoughtfully.

“Sif is a private person. As much as she is, I don’t think anyone but Joker actually knows her.” Shepard said.

“I like a good surprise!” Grunt laughed.

Shepard smiled and loaded Sif into the transport.

————

“Joker, Sif has been transported to the med bay. Legion is watching over her and Dr T’Soni is with her.” EDI said. “You must focus on the current mission before you can see her.”

He sat back in his chair and sighed. He ran his hands through his beard, and rubbed his eyes. ‘She’s back.’ He thought. He wasn’t an emotional man, but he smiled in relief.

The time it took Shepard to get back to the SR2 felt endless. Joker wanted to see his friend. As soon as he was on board, and the Normandy was safely away from any danger, he got up and limped to the med bay as fast as he could.

He stopped at the door, and composed himself. For a guy with brittle bones, he moved quickly when it was for her.

When he walked in, he saw her laying on one of the med bay cots. Her hair was wild, her clothes were ripped and the spots on her limbs he could see were purple and blue.

“Oh shit Sif.” He walked up next to her. “Dr T’Soni, how is she?”

“Her vitals are coming back, but she had severe bruising. I’ve done what we can for helping her heal, but she will take time. She has some amazing resilience. How she wasn’t killed is going to be an interesting story.” She smiled, “I always knew she was more clever than most.”

Joker was relived they had picked up Liara when they did, even if she was only there briefly. They couldn’t have chosen a better time.

“Hell ya she is. When will she be waking up?” He pushed.

“She should wake up anytime now. Her vitals are all stabilized

. She’s probably just exhausted.”

“How about her bones?” Jeff asked.

“We were able to heal most of them. It’s just the bruising and a few broken ribs. Other than that she should be able to help you fly whenever.” Dr. Chakwas chimed as she walked up behind Jeff. “Always this poor girls ribs. We should give her titanium ones.”

“I’m glad to see you too.” He said. “How did you come out of this less scathed?”

“They took me out in a pod. I don’t know what happened to her. I just saw them taking bodies past my pod and that’s why I knew there were some ahead.”

Jeff knelt beside Sif. He touched her arm gently and then held the tips of her fingers tenderly.

“Legion, come on, let’s leave them for a while.” Liara said and made an exit.

Jeff watched the three of them leave, then he turned his attention back to his friend on the slab.

“I never wanted to ever see you like this. I’m glad you’re alive, but Sif you idiot, why didn’t you just come back to the cockpit when shit started to go down.” He said quietly.

He placed his hand on her hair, with his thumb on her forehead. “I promise I will never let this happen again.”

He kissed her cheek.

Jeff sat there for as long as he could, and then Shepard walked in. ‘Great, the hero.’ He thought.

“How is she? I saw Dr. Chakwas outside she said she’ll be fine.” He asked.

“She’ll mend. She’s bruised up pretty bad, broken ribs. All that.” Jeff replied.

“Didyou know Sif is a biotic?” Shepard asked.

“Yea. I swear no one ever looks at our files. They just assume all we do is fly the ship.” He said sarcastically.

“So she is biotic?” Shepard asked surprised.

“Yea, she had L2s implanted and eventually and underwent L5 upgrades when we hooked up with Cerberus. So Sif underwent the retraining for it, and it showed that because she had these extra

abilities, it made her an even better pilot.” He explained. “Kaiden and Sif would practice their skills all the time before…” he trailed off.

“They don’t usually do upgrades on biotics by implants.” Shepard said.

“No, but she did. She’s got a way about her. I’ve never seen her not get something either her and I needed at some point.” Jeff smiled.

“Did you actually just smile?” Shepard asked

“What? No. Definitely not.” Jeff shifted and got up. “I’ve got a ship to fly.”

“Hey Joker.” Jeff paused, “her biotics knocked Tali, Grunt and I on our ass. Thought you enjoy that.” Shepard said.

“thats my girl.” Jeff nodded and walked away.

————-

“Okay, wake her up Doctor.” Shepard said, “I need some answers.”

“Shepard, I know you’ve been waiting” Dr. Chakwas said.

She swiveled her Omni tool over Sifs battered body.

Her eyes opened and she started to glow blue.

“Wait wait!” Shepard said.

She turned her head slightly to look at him.

“Oh, sorry. I thought you were a collector.” She said shakily.

“It’s just us dear.” Doctor Chakwas voice was soothing and tender as she reassured Sif she was safe.

“That’s a relief. I didn’t know how much longer I was going to survive on that ship.” She said. Then she looked around. “How bad am I? Where’s Jeff?”

“Sif you’re bruised and broken but we have slapped you with so much medi gel you’re going to be fine. Sore, but fine.” Liara reassured her.

“Excellent, I’ve got a ship to copilot.”

“Not just yet, we have to talk about a couple things.” Shepard said.

Sif sat up very slowly. “Is there something softer to sit on for the moment then? These beds are designed for the dead.” She laughed. Then winced.

Shepard helped her off the med bed and to a chair.

“Still not soft enough but that’s alright.” She looked around. “Alright, what do you want to know?”

Liara, Legion and Shepard exchanged glances.

“OH right how I ended up in a pile of my comrades remains. Good story.” She started to trail off, and took a shallow breath - her ribs ached. “I was down in engineering when EDI and Jeff alerted me to what was going on. So I ran up to the med bay as fast as I could and grabbed the only thing I could think of, Beta Blockers. They slow down your heart rate and can fool people into thinking your dead.” Sif sat back and shifted her weight. “So I took a calculated amount. I figured if They thought I was dead, they’d leave me here. So I gave myself a hyper injection of them and waited on the floor. The Collectors walked in, saw me here, took my body and then I ended up boarding their ship.”

“Even though they thought you were dead?” Liara asked.

“I suppose, but maybe my heart was still beating. However by the time we got to the ship the injection must have really kicked in, and from what my Omni tool tells me I had a heart beat only enough to keep my brain alive. That’s probably why I’m so bruised. No blood flow, so it pooled.” Sif shuddered.

“What about the bodies?” Shepard asked.

“Right so as they realized I was dead, they put me on the ground and started to load bodies on top of me. I activated my suit with my biotics. Mask, everything. I’m always prepared.” She smiled. “Anyway once they kept throwing bodies on me, eventually they lit us on fire. I used a biotic field to keep myself from burning. Once they left, I passed out completely.”

Sif looked from Liara to Shepard. “The smell …. I will never forget the smell.” She took a deep breath. “I knew you’d come save us. So I just waited. After being thrown around so much I couldn’t really dig myself out. So thanks for that.” She smiled “but I’m not sorry for knocking you three on your asses.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you are a biotic?” Shepard asked.

“It never came up?” She replied. “It wasn’t important. It’s not like I do a lot of combat missions.”

“But you have gone on missions and you never thought you should mention it?” He asked.

“I’ve used my biotics on missions, but no one ever noticed.” Sif said.

“Are you saying I don’t know my team?” Shepard pressed her.

“Not at all. I’m just saying sometimes we don’t notice things we don’t need to. As long as something works why worry? Besides the only missions I go on with you require my brains, and since I’ve been shot too many times and Jeff refuses to let me set foot off the Normandy, it wasn’t important.”

“I guess that makes sense.” He said.

“Don��t worry it’s not a commentary on you Shep.” She smiled.

He smiled. “I know, I just feel like you…” he trailed off. “Actually this isn’t a conversation I want to have in front of everyone. Will you join me in my quarters for further discussion?” He asked.

“Yes Commander. I’ll be up shortly.” She replied. Doctor Chakwas gave Sif an injection of pain med and told her it’ll wear off in a bit. So she made her way to Commander Shepards Quarters.

————

Shepard had questions. He understood her faith in him for saving her, but why was she so mysterious? This intrigued and yet bothered him. Why was she so hard to understand, to read?

“Commander.” Sif said as she entered.

“You look better than you did 10 minutes ago.” He smiled.

“The doctor shot me with enough morphine to keep me standing for a bit, but she recommended I lay down in a short while and get some proper rest.” She said.

“Come and sit, do you want anything?”

“A glass of water please.” Sif sat on the end of Shepards bed.

Shepard poured one for her. “Take it from me.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

Sif shook her head and pulled the glass to her easily.

“Happy?” She raised her left eyebrow at him.

“Yes.”

“Yea they come in handy when I forget to turn a light off and I’m in bed already.” She grinned. “So what didn’t you want to discuss downstairs? If you’d have asked I would have said.”

“I asked Joker about going out with you for a drink. He told me ‘Sure, I didn’t know you dated married women though.’ What does that even mean? You’re married?”

“I would have told you on that date you know.” She had a hurt look on her face.

“Then why not bring it up before?”

“Did Jeff tell you who I was married to?”

“No he said you would.”

“Of course I will. But there’s a lot that people don’t know about me - I mean I barely know myself. Didn’t you read my background report?”

“I did, years ago, but I still don’t recall seeing anything.”

Sif took a deep breath. “Can you let me explain the whole thing before you ask questions?”

Shepard nodded.

“Please understand - I was engaged to a man named Nate. He was handsome and charming. We had been together for 3 years and were starting to plan a life together.” She took in a deep breathe. “We were supposed to get married the day after graduation-the wedding was planned and everything. Then a few months before, I went to visit him and Jeff let me in. They were roommates. I guess he didn’t realize Nate was home, and so I did what I always did and walked into his room.” She hung her head. “I caught him, fucking some woman from the pep squad.”

“What?” Shepard looked shocked.

“Yea, either he wanted to be caught or he was just annoyed with me. I took being faithful very seriously to him, and I wasn’t going to just hand over my ass whenever he wanted to get off. So he had been screwing her for months. He said ‘you wouldn’t give it to me.’ So he found it elsewhere.”

“What a dick.”

“Yea. I think Jeff knew it was going on and just wanted to protect me. I’m not a prude, I just, didn’t feel safe sleeping with him anymore. He has a side of himself that shook my core. He hurt me. Emotionally, physically. One night he locked me in his room. Jeff had to help get me out. So I withheld. I should have just dumped him long before then.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone again. I didn’t want to have to be a no one again. A Jane Doe in the world. I just wanted someone to be mine - so I didn’t have to navigate life alone. I was scared. He told me I could never find anyone who would be as good to me as he was. I know that’s a lie now.”

“Then what?”

“Jeff kicked him out, I moved in and we became even closer - he is my best friend. We’d just hang out, and talk, and whatever. Nate graduated then ended up on Virmire. You wouldn’t have known but he died there. He was stationed at a plant.”

“Okay so you weren’t married to him. Who then?”

“Since the wedding was still planned, Jeff and I weren’t going to let it go to waste. The day after graduation, we took shore leave to celebrate, and you know eat all the food and party all night cause it was all paid for. So we had drinks and he suggested “let’s just marry each other”. We have been friends for so long, we went through school together, he helped me through my breakup. I have no family Shepard, I have no history - I was found abandoned as a child with no memory of them. I didn’t want to loose my best friend too. Jeff said I could share his life.” She sighed. “ We were best friends who made a deal, so they wouldn’t separate us, we didn’t want to be assigned opposites because we work so well together and this was a sure bet they’d keep us together. The perks, like a cabin of our own, more money, allowances that kind of thing, were nothing more than that. A perk.”

Shepard looked at her with a blank face.

“It’s okay, it’s why we don’t tell people. Some just don’t get it….. I’ll let that sink in.” She took a sip of her water.

“Do you, love him?”

She sipped her water. “I have always loved Jeff-even when I was with Nate. I tried to get Jeff to date me, but he told me no, and introduced me to his roommate. Jeff doesn’t love me the way a husband loves a wife. I’m his friend.”

“You honestly believe that? You really think you’re just a perk?” The honesty of the question dripped from his lips.

“Why not? Hes never indicated he loved me in that way. We’ve never had sex.” She sighed. “I tried in training, and I do bring it up occasionally but even now he gives me the ‘I can’t give you a life or future you deserve’ line. I don’t even know if I can have kids Shep, I’ve been experimented on a little too much for that - and that’s fine. It doesn’t bother me. It’s not my goal I life really like people think it is.”

“Experimented on?”

“I did a lot of experimental testing for cash when I was young, I needed the money. Either way, I’m not baby crazy, nor do I dislike them, I just don’t see why that’s the biggest hurdle for him to get over when it comes to he and I becoming an us.”

“I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine. I just want you to know - where I stand.”

“Sif, you stand in a marriage that’s built on an agreement, with a man who can’t admit how much he cares about you.”

Sif paused, “I mean, I know he has to feel something, but that much, you actually think he does?”

“How many dates have you been on since you two have been married?”

“With anyone I thought it might be fun to go with? One. With losers? Probably four.”

“And the Kaiden scenario?”

“I mean that made me question everything but even then he said no.”

Shepard laughed, “you’re sweet, but so blind. He stops the good ones from asking you out with the line he used in me.”

Sif stopped. She thought back to a few days before the Collectors attack, he wants to be near her when he sleeps, holding her.

“Friggen Jeff.” She got up. Then fell back down.

“Sif.” Shepard grabbed her and laid her down on his bed. “Your meds are probably wearing off and this has been a lot to sift through since you have just gotten back.”

“Yea it’s a lot. Shep can you help me to my room? As much as I’d love to rip your clothes off, I can’t do that if there’s a chance with Jeff.” She laughed.

“My pleasure. You really are a good woman Sif.” He lifted her in his arms and she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Can I try something?.” She asked.

“Anything.” He said.

“Put me down.” Sif held on to Shepard as he put her feet on the ground. She turned to him. “I am curious - just kiss me.”

“My pleasure.”

Shepard walked Sif to the wall of his cabin and kissed the top of her nose. He gently placed his hand behind her head and let his lips slide onto hers so gently. Her hands went numb and her knees went weak.

The firmness, the stubble. It all reminded her of Kaiden. She missed him. She let out a small moan.

“That’s good enough for now. It was an honor to share something so simple with you.” Shepard smiled.

“I want more, so much more Shepard. I want all of you, I want to wake up with our clothes thrown in the floor and you smiling, but, you’re not Jeff.” She said quietly.

Shepard kissed her again, then rested his forehead on hers.

“You won’t have to wait much longer, I’ll make sure of that.”

Shepard picked up her again, and carried her to her cabin.

The door opened and Joker was inside reading in the chair next to the bed.

“Is she-“

“she fell asleep in the elevator.” Shepard put her down on the bed. “Do you know what you have here Joker?”

“I have my Best friend back.”

“You have so much more than that. You have a woman who wants no one else more than you in the universe. She really wants to be your wife.”

“Ah she told you. Nate was a dick.”

“Joker, Sif wanted to kiss her me and when she did, all she said was ‘you’re not Jeff’. Really think about what you have here, because if you don’t want it, I’ll take it in a heartbeat.”

Joker stood up. “Take her then.”

“You don’t mean that. I saw how you reacted to her and Kaiden, and that was mild in comparison as to what I’m planning on giving her.”

“I want her to be happy and safe. If that’s what you can offer, you can have her.”

“Joker, don’t be stupid. You might not make it obvious, but you have feelings for her. Tell her, show her. The end of the damn universe is at steak, do you want to miss the one chance you have if we fail?”

Jeff saluted him. “Commander. It’s not as simple as you make it. I can’t give her what she needs.”

Shepard saluted Jeff. “It really is. Not everything is about you in this situation.” He turned on his heal to leave. “You’ll regret every second when she’s mine.”

Joker knew Shepard would take her.

He didn’t stand a chance.

#commander shepard #mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #jeff moreau #joker mass effect #fanfiction #mass effect fandom #mass effect fanfiction #slow burn romance #fanfic

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crunchkind · 1 year

Text

I’m pretty sure this scene wasn’t hinting at anything or mean anything but both alibaba and Sinbad died by the end of the mangas the mark or curse that was placed on them did what it was supposed to do in fact it’s both a sun and a moon kind of showing both of them the thing that changed is the mark so maybe the fathers curse wasn’t the black marking it was just the blood that went onto there skin but when they got rid of it it postponed it

Also if you look closely there’s hints of hakryuu in the panel when on the sun side there’s plants while the dark side or the moon side is just black kind of like how Sinbad was hollow by the end just a used body and alibaba was killed by plants a thing that had been tied to hakaryuu ever sense be captured the dungeon oh yea and let’s not mention that this is the scene we’re hakaryuus hand comes off and turns into the guy I can’t remember his name but there’s still a tie to those there just small little hints about alibabas and Sinbad death more to alibabas if anything

ALSO I’m lead to assume that the death curse has crows on the moon wich mean “transformation and change” when put into the meaning behind and this also REFERENCES Sinbad being that before this jafar and Sinbad discussed that change is inevitable

And you can see how the toll of taking the power Sinbad wanted so badly is changing and “transforming” him into something he doesn’t wanna be he didn’t want this THAGS why he’s so bothered so tired he knows what he’s doing and he can’t stop he on a power trip that nobody can stop unless he dies it’s his death curse damien is his death curse he states later that he already had a curse on him and that there was no point in cursing him if he was already cursed he was already cursed with death by the father he was upset that the curse had more of a toll then he could handle also the fact that Sinbad already died only brought back from another curse he’s kind of like a soul walking in his body but his body isn’t living

Also a thing to note that the day comes first before the night is when people look at it so it would make sense for alibaba to die first not Sinbad because night comes after day it also makes sense why aliabab came back and Sinbad could come back yea but as a soul as rukh and that was because he was always a soul pretty much but without his armpit protecting him alibaba however only cursed once was able to have control over his body as much as his mind and I feel like this happened with Sinbad the first time but the second it just didn’t work wich is why I think Sinbad is tripping or having these scenes of withdrawals of hatred towards himself because he can’t get what he wants he just keeps collecting power that he puts over as a good intention but in reality it’s no we’re near that it’s just collecting power for himself being greedy he’s become sly

The thing he never wanted to be almost like a power is controlling him and this is also the reason alibaba take it as less of a toll because alibaba already had corrupted rukh unlike Sinbad who could use a lot and I mean a lot of rukh alibaba on the other hand had a whole other thing going on because he not only has a limited supply but he’s induced or infused with kassim who was originally black rukh and black rukh plus white equals gold alibabas rukh or power force is gold in penetrable and you can say serendine did the same thing for Sinbad but it was different for Serendine and Sinbad they were connected threw the fact they had the same motives alibaba and kassim were infused because they are one in another together forever kind of thing

Sinbad showed no liking for Serendine only understanding sure she may be in sinbads body or some part but they were forced to be infused by yamarai it wasn’t there own will there rukh was actually fighting and so was damiens it’s unsure who’s rukh it was but sinbad wasn’t supposed to have black rukh he was only supposed to have one but a PEROSN who lent him there power was stuck in there body wich Had to be infused HAD to be or he would have died

This can also be used as the fact that Sinbad was never royalty we can see no matter what with djin users that they are royalty but Sinbad didn’t have that he was stranded so he forced himself up he forced the two rukhs to come together and not by themselves like alibaba and kassim who actually the roles were switched because kassim is not royalty but alibaba is so switching the roles WOULDNT matter no it does because Sinbad isn’t royal blood he lives on with blood he has no kingdom to run he is what you call climbing up to the highest ranks because he wanted to that is Sinbad THAts why he wants so much power he wants to feel the blood of a king that so many others feel

Alibaba however DOESNT have to try because she’s royalty and the person he infused with cares about him they are one and he knows that that’s why it’s so sunny for him easy for him to come back to life

BECAUSE HE IS ROYALTY AND SINBAD ISNT SINBAD USED OTHERS ALIBABA HELPED AND ITS EVEN STATED THAT ALIBABA is and will always be someone who meets helps and goes with people he doesn’t Barge threw he doesn’t try to be king it’s given to him and Sinbad wants it so bad so bad he will kill himself for it without looking back he can’t appreciate what he’s made because his mind it LIGIT playing tricks on him he’s mentally ill

Alibaba however still isn’t king he rejects it because he knows what it does to people that’s why he doesn’t claw he’s Sinbad if Sinbad wasn’t so fixated on being king on being like Serendine on getting that chance alibaba knows well what it does and rejects the idea we’ve known this sense day one he took down his king line to let the people choose he wants people to choose not just him he’s never wanted to be king he’s wanted to lead people who lead him as well THATS what separates Sinbad death curse and alibabas

Also did you know that sindrias birdight be a Pheonix a thing of freedom and yet people constantly call it corwded and suffocating as if it’s not really free as long as the king Sinbad goes down the tunnel of despair sense he met barbatos

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON BARBATOES

You can see that some of it is kind of like sinabd but also the fact that barbatoes was a lesser key to Sinbad future it’s almost like Sinbad became what barbatoes kind of was mentally I guess but in a way that shows he apart of the bloodline the sick bloodline that he clawed into just to get the status of king that alibaba rejects entirely because he says “he’s just not as cool as the rest of you” when Sinbad was saying “I’m better than all of you”

Alibaba became something he never expected wile Sinbad became exactly what he wanted

OK IM DONE I LOVE MAKING RANDOM CORRELATION

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memethebum · 10 months

Text

Here’s the next chapter of It Takes 4 Idiots to Confess !!

This one is a lil more fake dating shenanigans and a shit ton of deathstar pining lol

————————————————————————-

“Hey babe!!” Liz sang while watching Patty skip a few steps in front of her on the sidewalk.

“I’m guessing you had fun messing with Kid and Soul?” Tsubaki giggled from the other end of the call.

“Pretty much! I may or may not have convinced Soul to do something really stupid during prom too,” Liz snorted before her sister looked back at her with an amused grin.

“Well, you’ll just have to tell me everything once you finally get here. You‘ve got all their measurements written down, right?” Tsubaki hummed back.

“All good to go my girlfriend-in-crime. Death, I can’t wait to see their faces once they realize,” Liz added just as she turned past a corner and peered at the boutique Tsubaki was waiting inside.

“This is what they get for thinking we’d just go along with such a silly idea,” the other woman replied while giggling at her from behind the display window.

——————————————————————

“I just got off the phone with Tsubaki and she said Black*Star and Maka are at the park,” Liz explained as she walked back into the room.

“Well, I suppose we’d better head there ourselves,” Kid replied while watching Soul grumble at the plan Liz had made in hopes of averting any issues during prom night .

“Wait, you said Maka would be there?” Soul then questioned, eliciting Kid and Liz to let out a laugh in unison.

“Yea, but you won’t be able to make any moves on her unless you and Kiddo act like you’re head over heels for each other. So, go out there and win this dumbass game for all of us, alright?” Liz exclaimed as both men shook their heads in agreement.

————————————————————

This is going to be much harder than I anticipated Kid mentally noted before attempting to avert his eyes from the way Maka was perched on top of Black*Star’s lap while they shared a large snowcone.

He then looked over to the side and noticed how Soul also seemed to be completely fixated on the pair, which only caused his motivation to plummet even further.

I shouldn’t have dragged my friends into this mess the reaper sighed in the midst of battling against a wave of envy at how the Deathscythe could keep an impenitent devotion for Maka while his own feelings for Black*Star always seemed to be muddled with doubts of breaking some form of “bro-code” or being completely unreciprocated.

“Hi, um sorry if we’re ruining your moment…but we just couldn’t help telling you two how nice of a couple you make!” Kid then heard a voice murmur before quickly looking up and noticing two underclassmen girls flashing him and Soul a large grin.

“Thanks, it’s-uh nice to hear that from someone else,” Soul coughed out while stiffly resting his head against Kid’s shoulder, causing the girls to let out a squeal in delight.

“I mean, you’re both really good looking and are graduating at the top of your class, so it was basically meant to be. You wouldn’t believe how many people thought you’d settle for Maka,” one of the girls elaborated while batting her eyelashes at Soul.

Kid could instantly tell how the statement affected the Deathscythe, as he began to sit back up again and bare his razor-sharp teeth at the two girls.

However, being able to also notice the way Soul’s eyes drifted towards Maka while his body swayed in a silent rage had allowed the reaper to discern that his friend was desperately trying not to give both girls the treatment they deserved in hopes of preserving their fake relationship.

“That’s a rather nasty way of looking at a relationship,” Kid exclaimed, eliciting the group to focus their attention on him.

“Maka is one of our closest friends and a very successful meister, so I’d say you two need to reconsider what it means for someone to settle for less . And our relationship isn’t some sort of competition…please don’t go around acting like it is,” the reaper then finished before lacing his fingers with Soul’s and pulling them to their feet.

“OHH WE’RE SO SORRY, we didn’t mean-“ the girls yelped, only for Kid to become too engrossed in his own thoughts and completely disregard what else they had to say.

What if Black*Star thinks he’d be settling for less with me!? Maybe he had feelings for me at first but thinks I’m not good enough for him and decided to date Maka instead? Liz said that he’s trying to get me to confess but what if this is just a way of letting me down slowly-

“Let’s go Kid,” Soul murmured over Kid’s thoughts, probing him to flinch in suprise while looking back and noticing how Black*Star had gently circled his arms around Maka.

———————————————————————

Black*Star let out a low sigh while fidgeting against Maka’s rooted figure. He could tell she’d completely stopped paying attention to him right when Soul and Kid placed their picnic blanket a few feet away from them in order to even the scores for their ongoing charade.

“Ugh, Soul,” Maka snapped as Black*Star placed a spoonful of ice slush against her lips, causing the blue-haired meister to release a low chuckle.

“Ohh, so you feed each other even when one of you isn’t injured?” Black*Star taunted while his childhood friend struck a fist against one of his broad shoulders.

He continued to let out a flurry of snorts and giggles before noticing the way Maka had gone completely still once again.

Black*Star then looked up and noticed how she was solemnly gazing at the two girls who were now conversing with Soul and Kid.

“Have those two ever…given you a hard time?” Black*Star questioned before allowing himself to sort through his thoughts.

He then arched an eyebrow once Maka shifted her dilated pupils towards him and sighed.

“Not directly. Those two and all of the other girls like them just kind of…give me this look. It’s not that big of a deal though, since I’ve made my peace with it,” his childhood friend added with a shrug as Black*Star’s mouth gaped open at her honesty.

“Aw…c’mere Maks,” he slowly whispered before tugging on one of Maka’s arms and pulling her into a tight embrace.

Black*Star could feel the other meister let out a startled gasp at the sudden sense of affection, only for her to melt into his touch like she used to back when they were kids who’d comfort one another over trivial issues .

Looks like she’ll always be a little sis to me, no matter how much we grow up Black*Star thought while watching Soul get up from his spot on the ground and start folding up Kid’s picnic blanket.

The blue-haired meister then felt a pang of guilt tighten within his chest over how detrimental his idea could be for two of the closest people in his life.

I might’ve come off as a douche to Kid too Black*Star noted before mulling over how heartbroken he currently felt as Kid slid his hand into Soul’s outstretched one and looked back at him and Maka with a expression that completely dwarfed his own sense of despair.

#soul eater #soul x maka #maka x soul #deathstar #tsuliz #liz thompson #patty thompson #tsubaki nakatsukasa #soul eater fics #ao3 fic #meme attempts to write

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dyhayc · 2 years

Text

Starting Over

Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!Shy!Reader (fluff)

Summary: While picking up your cassette, you meet with Eddie and realize that he’s not as scary as you thought he was.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mild sexual innuendo?

A/N: Sorry for the long author’s note, but I wanted to explain a few things.

After some consideration, I have updated my masterlist to include content warnings for later chapters. I don’t want people to get invested in this series and then be unable to finish it due to triggers. The reason why this story even includes heavier topics is because a lot of the reader’s actions are influenced by her mother/stepfather and I really wanted to explore this.

I also have never mentioned this, but this series is based on an oc (original character) that I made after watching season 4. I decided to commit to writing this because I wanted to put her background story down and knew I wouldn’t be motivated unless I wrote it in a way that interested me. I like writing in second person, so why not post them as well?

I’m aware that some people may not want to read darker content, though, so I decided this as my solution: as well as the update to the masterlist I’m going to include detailed summaries of all chapters with any potentially triggering content. That way people can skip over a chapter without missing vital information to the story. I’m not sure if this solution will work entirely as I haven’t gotten to any harder topics yet, but I will definitely try!

As I said in the beginning, this series is very self-indulgent, so I don’t expect anyone who’s uncomfortable with some of the content to keep reading! Please do what is best for you <3

Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Series Masterlist

You lightly shiver at the chilly evening breeze, pulling your jacket closer to your body. You’re standing at Max’s open door, waiting for her to grab your cassette. A week after you were supposed to retrieve it, you’re finally getting your tape back. She returns languidly and hands you the tape, which you turn over to check for any damage. Satisfied you smile and nod, “Thank you, Max.”

She nods and responds, “Yea,” while making stubborn eye contact with the floor. She slams the door shut, and you wrinkle your nose at the amount of teenage angst you just witnessed. Silently, you hope you weren’t like that when you were a freshman. You probably were.

Slipping the cassette into your pocket, you head back home when Eddie bursts out of his trailer. The sudden movement shocks you initially, but when you see the cloth in his hand, you understand why he was rushing.

He bounds up to you with a cheeky grin on his face. “Hey, haven’t seen you around, Princess,” he holds up the cloth, “I believe this is yours.” You grab it from his outstretched hand when he adds quickly, “I washed it, of course.”

You’re a little stunned at the onslaught of comments, but you’re beginning to realize that this is just how Eddie is. “Thank you for returning this. Did you like the cookies?” you inquire, trying to keep your reply as calm as possible, even though it’s hard to stay collected when you’re staring into his eyes. So, you examine the cloth as you had the tape, searching for imperfections, yet finding none.

He raises his brows at your question, putting his hands in his pockets and examining your behaviour. “Like them? They were gone in minutes,” he admits, eyes crinkling with amusement when you dare to take a glance at his face.

“That’s so great!” you remark, folding the cloth, so it will also fit in your jacket pocket, “I’m glad you enjoyed them. I used my own recipe.”

“You’re talented,” he compliments, “Are you willing to give that recipe out?”

You stumble over your words, ecstatic that someone wants one of your recipes, “Yea, um, of course!” Then, a thought crosses your mind, and you furrow your brows critically, “Do you even know how to bake?”

He doesn’t respond verbally, but the sheepish grin he wears says everything. You smile, then quickly raise your hand over your mouth to conceal your laughter, not wanting to come off as rude. He starts laughing too and decides then and there that your genuine smile is something he enjoys.

“Why don’t you teach me? Tomorrow at noon?” he requests while you stand starstruck. He really wants to hang out with you?

You nod your head in agreement, “Um, yea! I’ll bring some of my baking stuff over.” With the date and time decided, you both bid each other farewell before heading separate ways.

Your heart is racing from the conversation you just had. You can’t believe that you talked to Eddie like a somewhat normal person and you’ll see him tomorrow.

That excitement wears off the following day when you’re stressing over what to bring. You should have asked him what things he already has. Pulling out everything you used to make the cookies last time, you stuff those ingredients into your backpack. Content that you have everything, you begin the trek to his house.

Anxiety crawls through your chest like vines as you stare at his closed door. You’ve always struggled with feeling like you don’t belong. Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself that he wants you here. He wouldn’t invite you if he hadn’t. It would be worse to ditch than to stay.

You rap your knuckles on the door, so you can’t chicken out and leave. Eddie opens the door seconds after you knock and with much less force than his uncle had. He invites you inside, and you head straight to the kitchen. Setting your bag on the counter, it hits you that this is where you once sat.

Turning on your heels, you ask if he wants to start right away. He nods dutifully, “Absolutely! I’m ready.”

“Did you wash your hands?” you ask, knowing he hadn’t. He makes a face and goes to the sink to wash up. You take the time to pull all the ingredients out of your backpack and organize them.

Coming back, he affirms, “Now I’m ready,” wiping his hands off on a towel. You show him the list of kitchen items you’ll need, and he pulls the necessary equipment from all sorts of places. His kitchen is like Mary Poppins’ bag, you’re not sure how all the pots, pans, trays, and utensils fit into the limited space Eddie and his uncle have.

Once everything is laid out, you read the first step aloud to him, “Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.” Unsure of how his oven works, you let him set the temp. Once that’s done you let him in on one of the unique things about your cookies.

“A secret to making amazing cookies is chopping and mixing your own chocolate pieces. I have dark and milk chocolate here,” you slide chocolate bars towards him, “How much you chop depends on your tastes. More dark chocolate cuts the sweetness, and more milk chocolate adds to it.”

He’s honestly paying attention, something you weren’t quite expecting. When cutting, he constantly checks in with you to see if he’s doing it right, asking if the pieces are the right size or if he’s cut enough chocolate. You remind him that this part isn’t a science, and he can do whatever he wants with the chocolate.

After finishing, he puts the pieces in a bowl and off to the side. Now you’re getting into the steps where precision does matter. He follows along diligently, and most of the recipe goes well, though he struggles to keep the flour contained. And by that, you mean he spills some on his pitch-black jeans.

You try not to laugh as he loses his mind. Stopping him from running water on them, you advise him on how to actually clean the flour off, “You’re going to have to get all the powder out first. Usually, I hang up the clothes outside and smack them with a stick until all the loose flour comes out. Then you rinse in cold water until the water’s clear. Flour can be really messy when wet, so you should get most of it out before trying water.”

He groans, “So, basically, I have to beat the shit out of my favourite jeans?”

His bluntness makes you chuckle, but you nod, “Yea unless you want dough stains on your jeans. And trust me… you don’t want that.” You’ve experienced this before, so you know that dough stains don’t actually look like dough stains. The placement of the flour is also at an unfortunate spot on his jeans…

He sighs and mumbles about dealing with it later, so you continue. “Here’s the secret that makes these cookies stand out,” you hold up the container in both hands, “Sea salt! Most people don’t associate salt with sweet things, but it really does add a lot of flavour.”

After finishing the recipe, you put the cookies in the oven. Eddie leaves to change out of his dirty jeans while you sit on the couch. Thinking about it, you realize you’ve gotten comfortable around Eddie in such a short time. It’s odd, but he’s not as scary as you thought.

Eddie returns wearing another pair of black jeans and plops down next to you. You decide to voice something you’d been embarrassed about last week, “Being here, now, it’s made me realize, well… I never properly introduced myself.”

He laughs cynically, “That’s the problem with small towns. Everybody knows everybody. I recognized you the moment I saw you.” That doesn’t surprise you.

Looking at your face, he must see it too because he continues, “But, if you want, we can start over.” That does surprise you. “I didn’t mean to scare you the first few times we met, but it’s obvious you weren’t comfortable.”

That fact being pointed out makes you wince. ”I don’t do well in social situations,” you mumble.

Both of you sit silently for a beat before Eddie gets up and faces you, “Hi. My name is Eddie Munson. It’s nice to meet you.” He offers his hand to shake.

Part of you wants to point out this is stupid. There’s no reason to even try and start over. He’s right about small towns. You can’t escape the box that the others isolate you in. But then, you look into his eyes and see genuine kindness and respect. Most people in Hawkins don’t even give you the time of day, but here Eddie is, smiling like he’s actually happy to meet you. Despite your efforts, you break into a grin. Standing up, you take his hand while introducing yourself, starting over.

#stranger things #skirts and mary jane #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #fluff #my writing #series

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perseusjackson-jasongrace · 2 years

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I was tagged by @firerose to do the WIP’s reveal! thank you for the tag angel human sending lovely days your way <3

okay y’all I am for real exposing myself so hard with this one 😭 but:

okay I don’t know who’s been with me since last year (or even before then) but I had started giving out feelers for a jercy mafia AU in may/June ish I believe (it was right around the time EotH and Kingdom Collisions were finishing) and people were interested. my best friend and I were going through a mafia au phase so it was very much obsession fuelled at the time. anyway this is the last instalment I managed to write for it before apparently abandoning it :/ the other three are around 2-2,5k words each but this one is around 100ish or so? yea I literally have not touched this one since June last year eh heh😵‍💫 sorry y’all

so umm? I don’t even know what that is?? It’s 172 words and here’s the first 45: Does the ocean start with a push or a pull? Did someone drag it forward to meet them, did the ocean push away? Did those waves crawl to meet you, did you herd it back to its body? Percy Jackson is terrified of the world.

please I have no idea???????

this one I started in the car while I was waiting to pick up kids I nanny but I kept getting distracted by messages and then I had to go so it’s literally 35 words and all I can remember about where it was supposed to go was that it was Percy centric and Jason was involved?

I obvs can’t say anything about this one but um this is due in less than two weeks and I have frankly written a disgracefully small amount :( this is the one I most urgently want to get on! I just gotta finish my applications first

again I’m going to be really awful and not tag anyone because I’m just not brain-enough to do that right now. but please my lovely writers, use this as a reason to tell us about all your WIPs and consider yourself tagged by me <3

I hope the week is full of wonder mwah!

[all images have alt text]

#ciara’s convos #i love tag games #firerose things

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inthekeyde · 15 days

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Florida Boy

So, I met this guy at a popular warehouse I worked at. He’s handsome, dark-skinned, standing at approximately 5’11, maybe 6 ft even. I had just started this job and had been working there for a week when I was stationed to work behind him one night. He was so flirtatious with me. I wasn’t used to a guy or anyone coming at me with that much pressure in a while. I just got out of a long relationship with my ex-girlfriend, and my heart, mind, and body have been closed off since. I constantly say to myself while interacting with him that night that I don't want a fuck boy! He claims he want to take me out on a date but I honestly don’t really know his intentions. He gave a lot of red flags more than good signals. For one he has 4 kids. 4 fucking kids. I asked that man when did he start and why he not with his baby mama since his youngest is 3 or 4 years old. He said shit complicated. I'm thinking in my mind well uncomplicate it. I’m not gone lie I like his vibe and the conversation we have. He’s cool but it got to be more than just vibes. He scare me because I never been courted by a guy like him I’m curious as to what even caught his attention about me. I’m definitely different from what he’s accustomed to. The way I carry myself is so different than the typical 25 year old. Oh yea he’s 33! Slightly older but not old. So we were supposed to chill one night. I was going to let him come over the house. He hit me up for the Addie and said he would come after a shower. Guess what the nigga never came. Like this shit threw me off so bad. How you go from wanting to court me to avoiding me like I did something to you. I thought the absolute worse. Apparently he loss his grandparent but the crazy part is he told my friend who had nothing to do with the situation. Apart of me feels like maybe they met up instead because she got locked up around the same time but we were all off work. It doesn’t add up in my mind. I confided in my friend and told her about everything that happened but it’s like maybe I shouldn’t have. My intuition never lie and my gut telling me something not right with the whole situation. They may not have met up that night but I feel like they have plotted and schemed. I don’t fuck with funny moving people. I like when people are up front even if it makes me uncomfortable or hurt my feelings. If he wasn’t feeling me he should’ve said that and we could’ve went on with our lives just like I’m doing now.

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yyxgin · 3 years

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lee felix’s guide to hating you

— ♡ FIC BANNER MADE BY THE AMAZING @chogiwow !!

pairing: lee felix x fem!reader genre: college au, tutor au ; fluff, angst, slice of life, slow burn word count: 21 k warnings: mentions of alcohol, mention of weed, swearing, bad family relationships

a/n: this story is very briefly inspired by jaemin’s drama ‘the way i hate you’ :) also this idea has been in my mind for such a long time, so i’m happy i finally managed to write it. this is also my longest fic so far, i hope it’s worth it. uhh yea enjoy <3

taglist: @feyregels @missskzbiased @hyunyin @koishua @crispy-chan @rindomo @soulssung @thatrandomoneinthecorner @90shermione @chogiwow @creatichee @freckledberries @hyunnies-stars

There’s a list of things Lee Felix knew before applying for college-- and that is: 1) he really, desperately needs a degree for his grandparents to value him as an equal adult, 2) college in young adult movies seems like fun and partying and alcohol really does sound like his wettest dream, 3) he doesn’t need to work for another 4 years, which is fun and 5) he is really, horribly bad at studying.

Here’s a list of things Lee Felix, however, did not know before applying for college, and even though it’s fairly shorter, it hits you in the guts deeper, and that is: 1) studying for college means never ending chapters of insomnia and 2) he is always going to feel like the second choice for everyone.

You see, girls don’t like Felix that much. Well, that’s a lie-- girls do go after him, tell him he’s cute and his freckles are adorable, but that’s only after they find out there’s no use in chasing after his best friend Han Jisung when he gets himself a new significant other. Boys don’t go after Felix either. Why, you may ask? Read the paragraph over again-- just change the word girls to the word boys. It’s as simple as that. He’s always the second choice, the back-up plan. It feels silly to drag his grandma into this, really, but the truth is, he’s a second choice in every aspect of his life, and that, too, includes his big (and still growing) family that treats him as something less than a human just because of the fact that his grades aren’t as good as his cousin’s are and he doesn’t have a degree in biological science, although he’s too young for that and his college years only started. It’s hard, living in his shoes.

What is Felix, however, really good at?

Cheating.

Yeah, well, you see-- it’s not funny to be the outcast of the smart Lee family and it’s also not enetaining in the slightest to be the only single one at family gatherings (read as: weddings, because every single one of his relatives decided to fuck up their life with marriage in the past three years for some unknown reason). So Felix does what he’s the best at, and that is going by his favorite life motto: fake it ‘til you make it.

He cheats on every single one of his exams and believe me when I tell you he’s the top of the class just because he’s the best cheater in town. Good cheating techniques equal good grades and suddenly, Felix’s life seems much brighter when he spends his sleepless nights with creating cheat sheets instead of studying and copying essays written in korean, translating them to english and submitting them as his own because no one will ever notice-- his degree is within the reach of his hand and he can already feel all the grandmas of the family clapping in joy, maybe even wiping away a stray tear on his graduation ceremony in a few years with bouquets of flowers in their hands and expensive watches in their gift bags, ready to welcome him back into the family..

What he doesn’t expect, though, is the cute little saying of ‘every lie has short legs’ he swears he heard sometimes in his linguistic class before, coming to life right in front of his eyes as the professor of his Biology class makes him the assigned tutor of the sweet Y/N Y/L/N, because, well, he clearly doesn’t know anything-- what’s he supposed to tutor now?

The best cheating techniques?

The freckled boy sitting in front of you looks at you with furrowed brows and you wonder what’s the matter with him. Is there something on your face? Are you not dressed appropriately for the occasion? I mean, it’s only a tutoring session, so you didn’t put that much effort into it, but judging from the casual outfit enveloping his body, he didn’t really try to look fancy either. So what was it with him that made him stare you down as if you had horns on your head?

“Shall we start?” he asks once he’s done staring, voice sounding determined. You wonder if he sees the hints of nervousness on your face and if he notices the way you shrink in your seat in the mention of biology, but you guess he doesn’t know you that well to know that you fear the subject as much as you fear dying.

“Yeah, sure,” you nod, scooting closer to the edge of your seat so you’re not so far away from the table. Felix-- your new biology tutor-- is sitting opposite of you and it’s quite difficult to read the text book once it’s upside down, but you don’t dare to mention it to him for a reason that’s unknown to you as well. It’s like you don’t want to overstep any invisible boundary on your first tutoring session, and telling the person that is teaching you to turn around the text book so you can actually see and learn something seems to be one of the taboos in your eyes.

You take a quick glance at the waiter that just stopped next to your booth and smile, opening up your mouth to order yourself a meal. “Can I get you anything else?” she asks.

“No-” Felix offers her with a shy smile, but you cut him off with a voice a little higher in the octaves, not wanting your tutor coming in between you and reaching your biggest goal you’ve set for yourself.

“Actually, yes. Could I please get the chicken wings? With fries?” you ask, trying to look as innocent as you can, smiling at her in politeness. You ignore the confused look Lee Felix is offering you from the other side of the table. You mentally send him a signal to tell him to mind his own business, watching the waitress leave with a nod and a polite smile.

“Okay, now we can start,” you nod at him and focus all your attention to the boy with sandy hair in front of you.

“O...kay?” he answers, obviously trying to bat away his rising confusion, because ordering yourself chicken wings on your tutoring session is prohibited now, apparently. “So,” he starts, sighing and scratching the back of his neck, “what do you not understand from this section?”

You nervously chew on the bottom of your lip. Well, that’s a sweet question, you think. It would have been much sweeter and much easier to answer, though, if you understood at least a bit from the things you’re supposed to know. You went to university with the urge to prove something to yourself, but the only thing you’re proving to yourself right now is the fact that you are actually kind of useless, when it comes to biology.

“Just like the… whole thing, actually,” you nod, trying not to look as defeated as you feel and also trying not to burst out in a manic laugh as you always do when you feel slightly nervous about anything.

“Cool, cool, yeah,” he nods, taking a deep breath in, turning the textbook around and sighing, “I don’t think I can help you with that.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” you ask, confused.

Lee Felix is the top of the grade. He is the best at biology, he is the best at chemistry, he is the best at his farmacy class. You’re sure he’ll be a fine biochemist in a few years, when his college times are over. Lee Felix is the smartest boy in your biology class and you are, coincidentally, quite the opposite on this spectrum. Which is exactly why your teacher managed to make Felix tutor you in his free time. You weren’t surprised at the fact that the blonde boy agreed to this-- he was quite the sweetheart, really. All the girls in your class fawned upon the way his freckles shined in the sunlight and the way he opened the doors for older professors. He was quite the boy you would want to introduce to your parents. Not quite the one every girl goes after, but the one that you would want to settle down with after your college years are over.

So why is he, the sweet, but also smart boy that agreed to tutor you, now telling you he can’t help you?

“It’s just.. I’m not really good at this section, I mean-”

“Felix, you’re the top of the class. Of course you’re good at this section.” you mumble, gazing deep into his eyes, trying to search for an answer.

“I-” he says and takes a sharp breath in, stopping himself in continuing his train of thought and just opting to shrug, not giving you a proper response either.

You feel like someone just punched you in the gut, and that’s when you realise-- here it is again. Another person that doesn’t believe in you-- another person that needs proving that you really can do it, you just need a little push. You can see it in his eyes that he doesn’t think you’re smart or bright enough to pass the exams, you’re not good enough to get good grades. It’s nothing new to you, but it still haunts you just the same.

“Is it because you know I can’t do it?” you bluntly ask, sighing.

“No! No, no, I never said that-” he says, almost panicking with the way his hands fly into the air hurriedly, waving them around as if it was meant to calm you down.

“You’re acting like it, though. I promise I’m not stupid- well, maybe I am, but-”

“You’re not stupid! It’s me! I’m the stupid one here.” he says, effectively silencing you with his words as you stare at him, dumbfounded. He’s joking, right?

“How can you be stupid when you get only the best grades? Felix, if you just don’t want to waste your time here, tell me, but don’t try to hide behind poor excuses.” you roll your eyes, feeling frustrated at the boy’s antics. Does he really think you’re that stupid that you can’t see right through his lies?

“I cheat.”

You blink a few times as if to reset your brain, gazing at him with pure confusion written in your orbs. He cheats? No. That’s a lie. A person as good at biology as Felix can’t cheat. All his exams are on 100% and he never makes any mistakes. He’s the epitome of the smart kid. The little Einstein. The prodigy. There’s no way it’s all cheating.

“No.” you shake your head in disapproval. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying! Look, I genuinely, really want to help you. I really do. The thing is, though, I don’t know how to study. I make cheat sheets and I use them at every exam and every test, that’s why everyone thinks I’m super smart, but that is really not the case,” he shakes his head, staring into your eyes with his wide open in honesty, wanting you-- no,-- needing you to understand. “I would tutor you if I could, really, but I just don’t know how to,” he sighs finally, acting like he’s just given birth or ran a marathon, exhaustion written all over his face.

“So why did you offer to tutor me, then?” you ask.

He takes a moment for himself to collect his thoughts, before he speaks up again. “Well, I didn’t really want to get caught. You see, I would never turn my back to anyone. Really. So I thought I could at least try to learn something? So I could help you? But I failed, as always, so I’m just coming clean in front of you and you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

The moment the last sentence leaves his mouth, you notice the apparent fear in his eyes, realising that he just shared an information with you that nobody really knows. It’s a secret he’s been hiding and keeping from everyone just to appear as the smartest one-- fooling everyone, including you. You feel even more stupid now, under his gaze. You feel played. You came to the tutoring, hoping to finally get a grip, when all you get is a person that is stepping all over the sandcastle of your fragile dreams, kicking every little piece of sand away with his lies. You know you shouldn’t feel so invested in this. You shouldn’t feel so hurt. But somehow, you still do.

“So you just told me you are lying to everyone and cheating on tests and you want me to keep it a secret from everyone?” you ask in disbelief.

“Yes.” he nods, eyes hopeful. He’s been lying for the last year as if his life was depending on it and now he wants you to do the same-- keep quiet in front of everyone.

“And what do I do when the professor asks me why I’m not getting any better? Huh? Ever thought of that?” you leash out, harshly chewing on your bottom lip in nerves. “I want to pass. And I want to do it fair and square.” you get out in between your teeth.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think of that yet, but-”

“Leave.” you say, looking him sternly into his eyes.

“What do you mean, leave?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore. And you’re clearly not here to teach me anything, so you can just take your things and leave.” you spit out, crossing your hands over your chest.

“You leave, then,” he mutters, looking rather offended. You’re not sure why he’s the one hurt right now, but you guess that’s just how men and their egos are, there’s nothing more under his hurt eyes and shattered self-esteem.

“I ordered food, I’m not leaving.” you calmly respond. Once you say this, you’re reminded of the little quest you made for yourself. Never once did you feel silly for taking it so seriously in front of your other friends, but now, in front of Lee Felix with freckled dusted cheeks, you feel almost invisible as you realise why you even ordered the chicken wings and how you’re going to write a yelp review about them later.

Well, someone has to do it, and if not you, then who will, right? It’s the only valid way to find out who makes the best chicken wings in the town and not even your traitor-tutor is going to stop you now, when your list is only getting shorter and shorter.

He stares at you for a few moments, dumbfounded, before he sighs and accepts his defeat. “Okay, I’ll just have to text my roommate to pick me up,” he admits.

You nod, just in time the server comes back with your food, offering her a welcoming smile. “Fine. But don’t even think of talking to me from now on. I’m not interested in more lies,” you spit at him, scowling as you take a look at the plate of chicken wings sitting in front of you in their full glory. You sense a very bad review, judging from the way the chicken wings look nothing like wings, rather full on small chickens dipped in oil, but dive in nonetheless.

“Why do you have to be so dramatic?” he asks, voice coated in disbelief.

“Because I was scammed!” you yell out, mouth full of chicken, not caring a second about the way you might look in the boy’s eyes. Yes, you could have at least swallowed before speaking to him, but did you do it? No. No, you didn’t.

“Oh come on-”

“Don’t even try arguing with me!” you spit at him-- quite glad that this time, it’s not literal-- and huff out in annoyance, when the door opens and a short boy with a bucket hat on steps into the bistro, the red fabric of the seats of the booths contrasting with his shoes in a way that makes you feel captivated, your eyes refusing to tear themselves away from him.

The boy is taking quick steps to your booth and you almost choke on your chicken wings as you admire his full glory-- tanned skin and car keys in his hand, but his eyes meet the boy sitting opposite of you and that’s when everything clicks. This is not the boy of your dreams, this is Han Jisung. Your tutor’s best friend and roommate-- also known as the resident heartbreaker. You shouldn’t feel weak in your knees when you look at him, but that’s exactly what happens and you won’t feel ashamed about it. Well, not now, at least. In a few hours when you’re lying in your bed? Maybe. But I’ll tell you then.

“Yo, dude, I texted you like five minutes ago that I’m waiting for you outside, what are you still doing here?” he asks, furrowing his brows at his roommate and slowly moving his eyes to you, scanning you up and down, leaving your heart to do the stupid cartwheel you haven’t felt since, like, middle school.

“We were in the middle of an argument, so I didn’t hear my phone ring.” Felix answers, glaring at you with spiteful eyes. You almost prepare to kill him with yours, but you focus on wiping the oil from the corner of your mouth and smiling heavenly, trying to look like a lady in front of your new visitor.

“Was Felix being absolutely unbearable again?” he asks you, surprising you with his subtle way of engaging you into the conversation.

You giggle, rolling your eyes slightly. “Yeah. You know him too well, don’t you?”

“Unfortunately,” he admits, looking defeated, when he moves his eyes to Felix, looking rather sulky on the red seat in front of you as you chat with his roommate, when Jisung’s tone of voice changes into a more worried one, speaking up again, “does she… did you…?”

“Yeah,” Felix just nods.

Jisung sighs, sitting down next to his roommate, pushing him a little so he has more space in the booth. “What are you supposed to tutor her anyway?” he asks.

“Biology,” you mumble sooner than Felix gets the chance to speak up, motioning to the textbook still sitting at the table in front of you.

The boy takes a look at the papers, his face changing from a focused one to a one more lighter, his eyes scanning the papers with ease. You notice his mouth moving a little as he reads the words under his breath, catching yourself from staring when you feel Felix’s eyes burning into the crown of your head, snapping you back to reality.

“You know… maybe I could help you with that.” he says, looking like a business offering you a deal that you’re sure involves something illegal. He looks like a focused squirrel with his cheeks puffed out a little in what you sense is pride, something in his eyes glowing as you nervously chew on your bottom lip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m actually quite good at biology, to be honest. Well, not as much as Felix over here-” he jokes, scowling when the blonde boy punches his arm, “but I think I could tutor you a thing or two.”

“What’s the catch?” you ask, nervously watching him. Something in his composure is telling you he’ll want something in return, but you don’t know what yet. You’re quite sure you’ll sell your soul for the adorable boy in front of you if he asked you to, but it never hurts to ask beforehand, right?

“What do you mean, what’s the catch?”

“Like… what do you want in return?” you muse out, taking a bite of a fry, noticing how soggy it feels under your teeth.

“Woah, you spend 15 minutes with Felix and you already think there’s something illegal behind everything? I’ll let you know, I’m better than that.” he scoffs. “I’m just doing it because I see how miserable you are. And I also don’t want you to tell on my buddie over here.” he adds, smiling warmly.

You take notice of the way Felix’s eyes grow twice their size and how Jisung’s knee lightly bumps into his under the table. It’s subtle, but you think that maybe this is when you fully fell for the short boy in front of you-- when he offered to save his best friend’s ass by helping out a lost girl with biology. And who are you to say no now? I mean, you need the tutoring nonetheless. Who cares if the boy tutoring you is someone else? Maybe it’s even more appealing to you this way, but you’ll never admit that out loud.

“Okay then, sure.” you nod, grinning from ear to ear, feeling satisfied.

“Great. Now, give me half the fries and we can arrange our next tutoring session,” he smiles, “oh, and I’m Han Jisung, by the way.”

He winks.

You should be disturbed, but strangely, you’re not. You grin back at him, offering him the soggy fries you’re sure you’re going to give a really bad review in the evening, watching his composure change into a more laid-back one, engaging you in a conversation and slunging an arm around his best friend’s shoulders.

Lee Felix remains silent. He feels it once again-- he feels the loneliness of being left out.

And he’s sure it won’t be the last time.

Lee Felix knows damn well how it feels to be the third wheel. He’s hung out with Jisung and his potential love interests multiple times, he’s even been on double dates with the said male, yet, he always somehow ends up being left out. So why does it still feel the same? Why does he still feel that restless feeling in his stomach, the emptiness in his chest, just like the first time? I guess you never get used to some things and emotions are one of them. No matter how much you argue that you know a feeling so well it doesn’t even surprise you anymore, it still hurts the same. That’s funny about emotions. Sometimes, they can’t even make you numb.

“Hurry up dude, the bistro closes in an hour and half!” Jisung rushes the taller male (not tall, just taller. Don’t misunderstand.) with his car keys in his hand, twirling them around his fingers in a nervous manner. Felix notices his roommate has put some effort into his outfit today, considering the lemon supreme shirt enveloping his body that he saves only for special occasions, yet, Felix doesn’t realise why he had to put it on when they’re literally just going out to eat some soggy fries in the bistro close to their house. He doesn’t ask, though. He doesn’t want the car key stuck in his forehead. He also doesn’t know why they have to rush so much, since they have an hour and half left before they close, but again, he doesn’t dare to say it out loud.

Felix quickly puts his shoes on and rolls his eyes at his roommate. “I’m ready,” he announces.

Jisung swiftly takes a bottle of cologne from the table in their small hall (it’s so small they don’t even have a mirror in it, because there was no use in taking mirror selfies when all you can see on the picture is your phone case due to the fact that the room is too narrow for you to move further away) and sprays his body wit hit, efficiently confusing his roommate. “You wanna smell great for the waiter there? Because from what I remember, he was a stoner-”

“Oh, shut up. You never know when you’re gonna meet someone cute, am I right?” he asks, grinning from ear to ear like a cat, taking his backpack with him and opening the front door, “gotta look and smell presentable at all times.”

Felix wonders if this is why everyone always goes after his best friend.

No, he thinks, it cannot be the cloud of cologne hanging around his body. It’s heavy and it makes Felix cough a little, but he tries to mask it, because he’s fairly sure Jisung won’t pay for his fries today if he doesn’t. And Felix is a simple man-- if he can get something for free, he will do anything to achieve it.

They arrive at the place in a few minutes and Felix can already feel his mouth watering at the thought of the salty fries and cheeseburger he’s going to get himself, joyfully skipping inside the bistro and waiting in the queue. Jisung follows him, standing next to him, efficiently covering the smell of the oil and all the good things on this earth-- read as fast food-- making Felix scowl. The boy behind the register, is, in fact, Na Jaemin-- the resident frat boy. Felix’s heard all about him from the girls staying at the dorms and to be honest, he’s quite glad he doesn’t have to live the stories of getting caught with weed at Jaemin's party on his own. That, and the fact that hot water runs in his apartment. Na Jemin might have the weed, but he surely doesn’t have that in his college dorm room.

“Three milkshakes, two large fries, chicken wings and a cheeseburger, please.” Jisung orders, confusing Felix in one sentence. Since when is his best friend a bottomless pot for food? Is he really going to eat all of that?

“Coming right at you. Anything else?” Jaemin asks, voice considerate and polite, still turned on his customer service mode, even though Felix is sure him and Jisung have had shared a joint or two on one of his parties before.

“No, that’s all. Thanks, man,” Jisung answers, leaving with Felix right behind him.

“Who’s gonna eat all of that? I hope you know you’re paying, and before you protest, yes, I did purposefully leave my wallet at home-” he rambles, still moving, when his train of thought is cut off by a person in his view.

You are sitting there in your full glory, smiling brightly at the boys approaching you. You’re dressed nicely, he notices-- you look like you put some effort into what you’re wearing. You don’t look that much different, but he can still see the slight changes you made to look neat. You’re glowing, Felix notices. You look excited.

“Hi, Y/N,” Jisung greets, taking a seat opposite of you. He doesn’t even give Felix an answer, he doesn’t even give him an explanation. He’s left there only to take a seat next to his roommate after collecting his thoughts, chewing on his bottom lip.

The conversation never moves his way. He is silenced. Felix wonders why he was even invited, watching the people behind the window laughing with their friends, happy to order some tasty food and have fun on this Thursday evening. He watches his friend and his classmate have fun-- well, as much fun as a tutoring session could be. You’re laughing at every single one of Jisung’s jokes and he swears Jisung’s eyes never leave your face, even when he’s explaining something to you. He wonders why Jisung didn’t tell him where they’re going. He wonders why he even had to come.

Lee Felix knows how third-wheeling feels. Yet, it still makes his little foolish heart hurt just the same every time.

You nervously chew on your bottom lip, cracking your knuckles in a habit your friends always scream at you for, waiting for your tutor-- well, he’s not really your tutor anymore-- to appear in the bistro on the other side of the town. You admire the decorations for a while, liking the way it looks modern here and the purple led lights make the whole place look aesthetic. You can already imagine multiple college kids going here and taking instagram pictures to look cool. It’s nice and you’ll definitely include it in your yelp review-- it won’t make it more stars, though, if the chicken wings don’t taste like heaven.

You tug on the sleeves on your hoodie, as if you were trying to make yourself disappear. I mean, you do feel embarrassing. You feel pathetic that it had to come down to this, but you guess desperate times call for desperate solutions. You’re not here to look put-together anymore. You’re going to show him your full glory and although you regret it a little, you still have a little spark of hope in you that Han Jisung-- the boy you, admittedly, were crashing on real hard right now, won’t find out.

Felix comes into the bistro in his full VSCO boy glory, as always. He is wearing a jean jacket and his freckled cheeks are dusted pink, you’d almost think he’s blushing all the time. He doesn’t quite fit the aesthetics of this futuristic looking bistro, you notice. The retro places you’ve been to so far fit him much more-- his sandy hair contrasted well with the yellow walls and red booths. It was starting to get a little repetitive, though, you must admit.

“Hi,” he greets you as he takes his seat, smiling at you with what you can only describe as a feeling of full uncomfort. You wonder what made him feel this way about you, but you don’t dare to think of it twice as you focus on the main quest of the day-- forcing him to teach you his ways.

“Hello,” you smile.

Felix notices how natural you look-- it feels like now is the first time he’s seeing you in your full glory. You aren’t wearing your neat clothes for a meeting with Jisung and you’re not too casual like you were at your first ‘tutoring session’ either-- you’re just you. The way he doesn’t even see you in classes. He likes the fact that no one else than him can see you like this-- he likes the fact that Jisung is nowhere around, yet, he wonders why is that, exactly, since the two of you seemed to be hitting it off quite well so far.

Felix hasn’t been with Jisung when he last tutored you. He figured there’s no use, he’s going to get ignored all the time anyway.

“So… what’s the matter?” he asks, folding his hands into his lap. He dares to take a quick look at you, noticing your worn-out shirt and dark circles under your eyes, worry washing over him. Did something happen? Was Jisung a jerk to you?

“Well, I sort-of have a little problem,” you mumble out, tearing your gaze away from him. You seem shy for the first time in front of him and he wonders why. He doesn’t understand your sudden change of behaviour. This isn’t the you he’s used to. “Well, turns out, I am really stupid.” you propose, leaving Felix to gaze at you in surprise.

He chuckles. You swiftly look up at him with piercing eyes telling him to stop, and he almost does, but your face looks too adorable when it’s scrunched up like that, so he only giggles once more. “You’re not stupid.”

“I am!” you whine out, finally letting your whole shy facade fall, exposing the true you once again right in front of Felix’s eyes-- direct and fierceful. “Even Jisung’s tutoring isn’t helping and I feel so stupid with him! And I don’t want him to think that I’m stupid, even though I am, and I just… I can’t pass my exams like this, so I need your help.” you say, eyes big, looking almost pleading.

“And I am supposed to help… how? Exactly?” The confusion is written all over his face, and it almost makes you frustrated. You knew he must be smart, if his cheating has been so good he’s getting through college with straight As, but really, is he really that smart if he can’t read in between the lines?

“Help me cheat.” you quickly get out, biting down on your lower lip just as you say it, as if you were regretting it.

The silence that overtakes the two of you feels like it’s slowly going to eat you up alive, angrily biting into your skin. It feels heavy and suffocating, your palms sweating as you watch Felix blink at you with mouth agape, breathing in and out. You pray for him to make up his mind soon, or else you’re going to run out of the bistro without a yelp review, tearing the skin of your cuticles as you see him blink quickly a few times before shaking his head in disbelief, clearing his storage.

“You want me to help you cheat?” he asks for clarification, furrowing his brows at you.

“That’s correct.” you nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. You haven’t been this nervous since you took your college entrance exams, and that shows a lot, considering you used to say that has been the most difficult experience of your life so far.

“Because Jisung…. isn’t tutoring you well enough?” he asks again, making you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Hey, don’t put the blame on Jisung! I’m just stupid, that’s all.” you say, looking down into your lap, because his gaze suddenly feels like he’s judging you and you really don’t feel like maintaining eye contact with him when you’re under pressure.

“If you don’t stop saying that, I will kick you.”

“You wouldn’t dare-”

“I would and I will-”

“Okay, but is that a yes, then?” you look up at him with hopeful eyes, resembling a puppy just a little too much, and, well, Felix can’t just reject you now, can he?

“I.. guess…?” he says, watching your face light up in joy as you clap a few times in excitement.

“Great! Can we start today? We have to start today! I brought my text books and papers and sharpies and-” you are cut off by Felix’s face lighting up at the sight of you, his eyes looking warm and admiring. You quickly shake away the excitement before it goes too far and you actually go to hug him or something, taking a deep breath in and out to calm yourself down.

Just in that moment, the server appears with two servings of chicken wings and two large fries, making Felix look at you in confusion.

“I ordered you food, since I thought we’ll stick around for a while..” you mumble, seeing him eagerly nod and take one fry into his hand, biting down on it with a face full of pleasure.

“Perfect. Just let me eat a few of these and we can get right into work, I promise,” he mutters with a mouth full of food, prompting you to take a bite yourself. It doesn’t taste the worst-- the bistro you went to after prom last year was definitely worse than this, but still, you don’t think Felix’s face quite resembles how the food tastes. He looks as if the Queen of England made it. In reality, it’s just a soggy fry.

“Why do you always order the same thing? Aren’t you tired of eating the same thing over and over again?” he asks suddenly, examining your face with real interest. No one’s ever noticed your eating habits before, just shrugging off what you order every single time. Your little fast food experiment has been a secret so far, even though it wasn’t that hard to cover it up-- nobody really cared until now.

You feel blush creeping on your cheeks as you shrug, feeling a little embarrassed for like the hundredth time today, when you reply to the boy in front of you. You know his secret, so it only feels valid for him to know yours. “I have this experiment… like, I try chicken wings and fries at every single bistro, restaurant and fast food chain in the town to find out which one’s the best…” you mumble, looking into your plate instead of facing him out of the ugly feeling of patheticness creeping up your back.

“Oh, that’s cool!” he exclaims, pointing his fry your direction, a response you didn’t quite expect, “Where do they have the best ones so far?” he asks, genuine interest painting his features.

“Oh,” you get out, feeling your lips unvoliteraly tug into a smile, “I don’t.. I still have a few bistros and the McDonald’s on the highway out of the city left, but I’d say the best ones so far were at Wendy’s. I didn’t quite like the chicken wings there, though, so…”

“Hmm,” he nods, deep in thought, “we just get food at where’s the closest.” he says, munching on a chicken wing. “I guess we could pay a little more attention to the food from now on, because after eating this, I’m never going to eat the food from the bistro right in front of our flat again.”

“Yeah, that bistro’s really awful. I only gave it around 2.5 stars, I think-” you say, before you realise you just spilled out another secret to him, feeling your cheeks heating up.

“2.5 stars? What, do you write yelp reviews or something?” he asks, clearly amused by your accidental spill-out.

“And what if I do?” you defend yourself, glaring at him with fake annoyance. No man will ever make fun of you because you write yelp reviews. Not Lee Felix, even though he seems too nice to actually make fun of you because of something, not anyone.

“That’s cool, though! Those help so much when you travel,” he says, eagerly nodding at you with big eyes and an adorable grin plastered on his face, making you feel understood and happy with just the sudden sign of acceptance. Turns out your little weird obsession isn’t as embarrassing as you thought it was. Or Lee Felix really is the sweetest guy walking on this earth. Either one is fine in your books.

You stay there for a few hours and Felix teaches you the basic cheat codes-- never meet the teacher’s eye, never finish your tests too quickly, always forcefully pick the wrong option before scribbling it out and putting in a correct one to not seem too suspicious. He even takes a piece of paper from you and scribbles down the basic cheat-sheet making structure.

He feels good with you. He feels useful. He knows he shouldn’t be teaching you this, but really, is it really doing any harm? We all have to go through college somehow.

Yet, all evenings always end the same for Felix, with a bad feeling in his gut and a fake smile on his face hiding the true meaning behind his actions. He’ll never be the first choice and you remind him even today, after you leave the ‘tutoring session’ with a quick hug to the male, lowering your voice so only he can hear when you pay him your goodbyes.

“Don’t tell Jisung, okay?”

Of course. It’s all because you don’t want to look embarrassing in front of his best friend.

It goes all how you planned it to-- you’re sitting at your next tutoring session with two males in front of you. One of them is your supposed tutor and one of them is a boy that’s helping you pass your exams for real. You’re into one of them, even though you shouldn’t. You wonder how you even ended up in this mess. You swear you were a good student in high school, always submitting your assignments on time and making sure your tests were on 100%. It was kind of fueling your ego, in a way. You had no other plans in your life to hold on to, no dreams to dream, so you reasoned to do the only thing that you were good at-- getting good grades. You had to prove to yourself that there was a reason, a meaning behind your life. You had to prove to yourself that your existence was valid.

You watch Jisung with interest. You pray to god that he doesn’t catch you in your act, because that would surely be embarrassing. You don’t want him to find out that you’re just fine with cheating, because that meant your tutoring sessions with the male would end and there was no other reason for you to see him. You knew Han Jisung wasn’t interested in you. You were sure you’d see it on him if he was. And even then, you weren’t interested in only a short relationship without any good point. You liked Jisung, but you didn’t like his reputation. One week wasn’t long enough for you to waste your time on him and get your heart broken. You weren’t sure if he was a player, or if he just wanted to desperately find the one by trying all the possibilities, but you weren’t going to find out.

Felix watches you with interest in his eyes-- but you don’t notice. He prays that Jisung doesn’t find out about your secret little ‘tutoring sessions’, because that would mean he wouldn’t have a reason to hang out with you anymore. And Felix really doesn’t want that to happen. For some reason, he doesn’t want you to ever frown. And he’s sure that’s exactly what would happen if Jisung cancelled.

It doesn’t click to him what’s happening inside of his little, foolish heart when he sees you smile at Jisung and his stomach fills with worry.

It doesn’t click to him what’s happening with him when every time Jisung subtly takes your hand in his makes his insides twitch in frustration. He thinks it’s just because of the fact that he’s third-wheeling again, like all his life, and maybe that is partly true, but it’s not the whole reason behind the cloud around his head.

It clicks only when him and his roommate are back home, sitting at the dinner table with the left-overs from the new bistro you three went to, munching on the chicken wings and another pack of soggy french fries and the cola they had in their fridge.

“So… what do you think about Y/N?” Jisung asks suddenly, making Felix furrow his brows in confusion.

“What should I think? She’s smart, I guess…” he mumbles, mouth full of food, not quite grasping the full meaning of his roommate’s question.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jisung quickly nods in approval, “she’s getting really good. I mean, you can still see she’s having some troubles when I’m tutoring her, but at least she always gets good grades on tests now,” he says, biting down on another piece of chicken wing. Felix feels a wave of pride wash over him after hearing the words-- of course you’re doing well on exams. It’s all Felix’s doing. You’re a quick learner, when it comes to cheating.

“Yeah, she’s good,” he says.

“Well,” Jisung suddenly starts, meaning to sound nonchalantly, but only sounding like he’s determining his biggest life secret in front of his friend instead, “I like her.”

Felix almost chokes on the piece of chicken in his mouth, trying to play it off with a small chuckle. “Oh? You do?”

“Yeah. Should I.. Should I ask her on a date or something?” he asks and Felix swears he can see his friend’s cheeks reddening a little, even though the last time he’s seen Jisung embarrassed was when he accidentally called their Math’s teacher mum in eleventh grade.

“You don’t date, though,” Felix opposes.

“That’s not true-”

“Two weeks long relationships aren’t relationships, Jisung.”

“Not my fault they’re never the one! It gets boring after a while, Felix, I can’t just-”

“Why are you even asking me this?” Felix suddenly cuts him off, glaring at him. He doesn’t know why he’s reacting in such a way. It’s not like it’s the first time Jisung is going to date someone for two weeks just to break their heart, it’s not the first time they’re going to run after Felix a week after just so they can still be around the one that broke their heart. This time, though, he does not want to see another heart get broken.

“Jesus, chill, man… I was just asking, since you two seem closer. Did she mention anything about me? Is she dating anyone?” Jisung asks, eyes lighting up.

Felix could be an asshole. He could tell Jisung that you’re already dating someone, he could tell him to back off and that you’re not interested. However, he does not do that. Instead, he does the quite opposite. He pushes his best friend into asking you out, he tells him he should try it, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Besides, he knows you’re into him. Maybe the smile on your face could make him forget about the fact that you’re going to get your heart broken.

“Sure, go for it.” he shrugs, “I don’t really care anyway.”

“Fine, then-”

“I’m gonna shower.” Felix says, quickly standing up from his chair and moving to the bathroom, quickly escaping the conversation.

Only then he realises what he feeling in his gut means, only then he notices the way his sigh feels like the weight of the world is sitting on his shoulders and he can’t breathe any time you’re around Han Jisung.

He realises he likes you.

And clearly, you don’t like him back.

Emotions are something you never quite get used to. Even the emotion of feeling rejection, the emotion of always being behind his best friend’s shadow. Lee Felix is always just the friend. Never the love interest. This time, though, it feels even more heavy, because in a way, you seem way more special in his eyes than the people that went after him just to get with his best friend.

This time, he does not want to see another heart get broken. Because it’s your heart we’re talking about.

And to prevent his heart shattering to even more pieces, he has to do something.

He has to stop liking you.

As soon as possible.

“Y/N?”

“Mhhm?” you ask, raising your eyes up from the cheat sheet you’re creating with Felix’s help, the grease of the fries you’re eating glistening on your chin. You’re with him in a yet another crappy bistro, trying yet another soggy fries, and even though there’s nothing special on you to a stranger’s eye, Felix’s heart can’t help but run twice the speed of light.

“How do you stop liking someone?” he mumbles, furrowing his brows a little, deep in thought.

“Oh, do you like someone?” you ask, and Felix momentarily lights up at the thought of you caring if he’s interested in someone, but when his eyes meet yours and he notices them glistening and lightening up in curiosity, he realises it’s just because you’re happy for him. As a good friend should be.

“No, no,” he quickly shakes his head in disapproval, snickering to himself, “I’m just asking. Because, think, what if, hypothetically, there’s someone who is into someone else. Easy, right? But what if their best friend likes the same person? And you know you shouldn’t like them because they’re into their friend as well? What is there to do at that point?”

You scan his face for a few seconds, thinking to yourself. “Hmm,” you start, “I guess you have to start hating them. So the feelings disappear.” you nod, satisfied with your answer.

“How’s that possible?” he asks, scoffing.

“Well, I don’t know, since it’s all hypothetical anyway,” you giggle, focusing back on your cheat sheet. Your notes are getting smaller and smaller and Felix notices the improvement in your small lettering, making your cheat sheet less noticeable. You’re learning quickly.

“Oh come on,” he whines, kicking your leg under the table, “talk to me. How can a person start hating someone? Give me a tutorial.”

“Well, since you really need to know,” you roll your eyes, putting away the pen from your hand and resting your back against the seat of the booth, “there are a few steps you can take.”

“For example?”

“Well, you have to stop hanging out with them, first thing’s first.” you start. “Because if you don’t hang out with them, you will eventually hate the fact that they’re not near, which will, logically, make you hate them instead.”

“Is that really logical, though?” Felix asks, furrowing his brows at you. In his books, this made no sense at all, but you seemed pretty satisfied with your answer.

“Of course it is! Then, you have to find something about them that you can hate. Anything. Find even the smallest thing, and blow it up in your mind until you hate it. Easy, right?”

“...I don’t think that’s helping at all,” he says, tone of voice unsure.

“Of course it is! You’re just refusing that it can be true, because you think I’m stupid.” you stick out his tongue at him, focusing on your work instead.

He kicks you under the table, making you scowl. “Ow! What was that for?”

“I told you that if you’ll make that comment again, I will kick you. So I just did right that.” he says. “Besides, your ideas are stupid. Not you. There’s a difference in that.” he smartly points out, making you roll your eyes at him.

“So, who is it that you like?”

“No one. I told you, it’s hypothetical.” he glares at you.

“Right,” you nod, sighing, “well, I’ll just stick to that, since that means Jisung doesn’t like anyone and I still have a chance.” you smile at him, obviously missing out on the way your words just punched him into the gut. Felix laughs it out, kicking you in the shin instead.

“Right. Of course you do,” he nods. He wishes he didn’t mean that.

You two remain in silence for a moment, while you get back to your work and Felix pretends he’s playing a game on his phone. You don’t notice the way his eyes scan you over, admiring you, once in a while. No one ever does. He guesses this is the perk of always being just the friend. The one people are friends with just because they want something from him. The one that gets taken advantage of. He chooses not to think about it more. Maybe if he did, he could hate you over it, if he wasn’t so used to that feeling anyway.

“We should hang out on the weekend,” you say, taking him by surprise.

“Oh?” he mumbles out, “with Jisung?”

“No?” you furrow your brows, “look, I know I look like I’m obsessed with him, but I actually just want to hang out with you alone as friends once in a while, you know.”

“We’re hanging out now, though.”

“It’s midnight, Felix,” you point out, “and we’re working. I want to hang out with my friend, like a normal person, you know.” you shrug.

“Yeah…” he says, when your words resonate in his mind like a broken curse. ‘Don’t hang out with them.’ Don’t hang out with her. You have to hate her. He has to start hating you-- there’s no other way. And so, he turns to taking your words into consideration. He can’t meet with you if he’s not ‘tutoring’ you. There’s no way. “We’ll see. I’ll tell you if I’m free.” he smiles warmly instead, because truth be told, he’ll never tell you no to your eyes. He’s always been a bit of a coward. And he also doesn’t want you to frown. Ever.

“Great!” you smile.

And when Felix comes home that night, at 2am in the morning when his roommate is already asleep-- not knowing of your secret meetings, he lays down in his bed and repeats your advice like a broken mantra. He can’t like you. He has to hate you.

Lee Felix’s guide to hating you: 1. Don’t hang out with her. Only meet her when it’s necessary. If you don’t meet her, you’ll start hating her absence, resulting in hating her altogether. 2. Find a small thing about her to blow up so much you start to hate it.

That’s not difficult. He hates that you like Han Jisung. It’s a small mistake, a small flaw, but he’s ready to blow it up so much he hates you for it. He hates that he’s not the first choice. He hates that you don’t like him.

Maybe he would hate you more if you were dating his best friend for real.

Lee Felix’s guide to hating you: 1. Don’t hang out with her. 2. Find a thing to hate about her. SUCCESS! 3. Set her up with Han Jisung.

Now, this plan is bulletproof, isn’t it?

Felix unexpectedly breaks the first step of his guide only a few days later-- on a chilly friday afternoon, when his body is hurriedly skipping to the edge of the town centre only to meet with you. Just for the record, though, Felix didn’t intend to break the promise he gave to himself. He really wasn’t going to hang out with you if he didn’t specifically need to, but, well… you called Jisung to hang out. Felix’s heart almost skipped a few beats when he was added to a three-person big group chat with you and his roommate and at that point, he wasn’t going to reject an invitation to the fare in town, because he was fairly sure Jisung didn’t like rollercoasters and he wanted to see you laugh your ass off at him in front of everyone. Is it a little spiteful? Possibly. Does he care? Not that much.

Besides, it’s only one time. It will never happen again!!

He finds you with your black leather jacket on, stepping from one leg to the other, looking around like a lost puppy. Felix mentally curses at himself for not coming sooner so you wouldn’t feel so alone and awkward in the mass of people, when he realises he’s already 15 minutes late because of his afternoon class and his roommate is nowhere to be found.

“Thank god! I thought you were going to bail on me as well,” you call out when Felix is close enough, smiling at him.

“Where’s Jisung?”

“He texted me like 5 minutes ago that he can’t make it today. Something about his mum being in town? I’m not sure,” you furrow your brows, “at least you’re here now, though.”

Felix is met with the realisation that he’s left alone with you again, mentally cursing at himself. This surely does not look like a plan to hating you. It looks like a bullet-proof plan on how to fall even deeper for you, with how your stray hairs are flying around your head and you adorably scrunch up your nose and sniffle from the cold.

“Should we go?” he forces out of himself, looking at you hopefully.

“Yeah!” you nod, striding a few steps in front of him like a happy school girl excited to go to school for the first time. Felix can’t surpass the gentle smile forming on his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. You look so cheerful and so joyful, making his heart swell with how easily you manage to make him feel so young again.

He follows you gladly, managing to match his speed with yours, almost forgetting for a moment that he’s not on a date with you, almost forgetting about the fact that you like his best friend and the smile you’re giving him is nothing against the wide grin you offer to his roommate.

“Let’s go on that one!” you cheer, taking Felix by the hand and tugging him your way, not once giving him the opportunity of letting go as you drag him all around the fare. You remind him of his younger sister with how excited you get about the smallest things and he realises he wants to protect your heart from the world just as much as he wants to protect his little sister’s. It’s not the same feeling, though. The affection he feels for you is different.

Felix doesn’t find it in him to tell you no whenever you tug him on another ride, even when his legs are tired and his jaw hurts from smiling. He finds himself wanting to capture your image into his brain forever, imprint the happy memory in there so he can find it and look at it whenever his heart feels lonely. For the first time in ages, he forgets about everything. He forgets that he’s just the friend, the other choice. He completely forgets that Han Jisung was supposed to be there, at his place, sitting next to you on the ferris wheel as you watch the night city under you with cold cheeks and frozen bodies.

“You must be sad that Jisung isn’t here with you right now. That would surely feel much more romantic than sitting here with me,” Felix says bitterly once the reality hits him for a second, once his heart is unsheltered for a short moment and your eyes meet.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” you roll your eyes, “Jisung can’t be romantic. Besides, if I really wanted a date with him so badly, I wouldn’t have asked you to come with us, would I?” you smile at him, swinging your legs forward and backward, focusing your eyes somewhere into the distance again.

“Well, if you really want to go on a date with him, you can just ask him, you know?” he mumbles, playing with the dead skin on his thumb.

“So he can stand me up and go on a date with his mum again? I don’t know, Felix, is that really worth it?” you giggle, not noticing the way you’re messing with the boy’s head, not noticing the way a small spark of hope lights up somewhere in the deep pits of his stomach when you mention not wanting to ask his best friend out.

“I don’t know, is it?”

“I’ll have to think about it.” you muse out, and the spark is gone. Of course it’s not that simple.

Felix just nods and grins at you. The chilly air helps him hide his red cheeks when he thinks of how embarrassing his thoughts must have been in the past quick seconds. He focuses on your face, on the way your eyes crinkle up a little when you stare somewhere far into the distance and your hair flies a little with the breeze. The ferris wheel just reached the top, so he has plenty of time to keep admiring you from so close, but somehow, the moment still feels so short and he wishes he could stop the time. He wishes he could stop the time so he didn’t have to face the reality when he comes down from the ferris wheel. He wishes he didn’t have to see you fall in love with his friend, he wishes he didn’t have to act like he doesn’t care at all.

“Thanks for helping me, by the way. I wouldn’t have passed my exams if it wasn’t for you and that… that would be really hard on me.” you get out, locking your eyes with his sincerely. He sees your eyes shining even so high above the ground, convincing him the sparkles really must be the stars, when he takes a deep breath in and responds.

“It’s no problem, I get it… I mean, it’s what you gotta do. What we gotta do, when we want to pass. And graduate,” he chuckles.

Does he really want the degree, though? Or does he just need it to feel like he has some worth? Does he want to graduate or does he just want his parents to value him as an adult, does he really want to continue working so hard on passing or would he just be so much happier if he just dropped out. And saved himself so much stress. He should have known he was never smart enough for college.

“Yeah. I despise the smart kids in our class. I wish I were them,” you scoff, “I despise Jisung, in a way, too,” you add after a dramatic pause.

“Jisung?” Felix furrows his brows.

“Yeah,” you nod, like it’s the clearest thing in the world, “I mean, he’s smart enough to pass. He’s… he’s got his life figured out, in a way. He’s just fine. Getting all the girls and the guys, getting good grades, going on dinner dates with his mum on Fridays,” you giggle, “I mean, I want that. That sounds nice.”

Felix huffs, staring into the distance, “I guess you’re right.” He knows damn well how jealousy feels.

“I came to college to prove to myself that my life has some worth, but I guess the only thing I prove to myself is that I can’t even pass my exams without help.” you sigh, sounding defeated.

“Hey,” he nudges you a little with his foot, “don’t say that. Life isn’t about grades, degrees and that shit. Of course you have worth and value.”

He sees you smile in defeat, leaning your head on his shoulder. The feeling of acceptance, pure understanding washes over the two of you, when you gently speak up again. “Try to explain that to my brain.”

He lightly giggles. “I’m trying, as you can see.”

You look up at him from his shoulder, scrunching up your nose and leaning closer to him, whispering. “It’s not working.” you laugh.

“I know it’s not easy,” he shakes his head, “I’ve been trying to tell that to my family for the past 21 years.” he slips out. Something about you makes him spill out even things he’s never told anyone before, but he finds himself not caring as you approach his eyes with pure serenity mixed with melancholy.

“Is it all because of your parents?” you ask, “the cheating, I mean.”

Felix feels his eyes giving him out, so he chooses not to look at you anymore. “I mean, I would have dropped out long ago if I didn’t have to feel so worthless around my family then. Every single one of my cousins is smart, has a degree and earns a killing. I’m just me-- living from the money I earned over summer, trying not to lose my mind with biology.”

He hears you humming next to him, your head moving as you nod in understatement. The ferris wheel is slowly reaching the bottom again and Felix finds the fact quite relieving. He doesn’t mind having deep talks with you, he just fears he might spill out something both of you don’t want to hear.

“I’m glad you came with me today, Lix.” you smile at him once the two of you reach the bottom, “wanna hear a secret?”

“Spill it out,” he dares you, grinning.

“I only invited Jisung because I thought you didn’t want to hang out with me alone.” you confess, quickly turning around in your spot as you jog a few steps in front of him, carelessly, as if you just didn’t make Felix’s heart stop and insides twitch in excitement. He prays and hopes it’s not just you giving him false hope, he wishes it’s not his mind playing tricks on him.

“I-”

“And now that I know you don’t mind being around me, do you wanna go to the dog cafe with me next Wednesday? You know, the one I talked about.” you turn around, flashing him a smile worth a billion dollars, taking him by surprise as his breathing hitches and he doesn’t find it in him to reject you ever again.

“Sure.”

Second step of Lee Felix’s guide to helping you: find a small thing about you he doesn’t like to blow up so much he starts hating you altogether.

He was so sure that he found the small thing just a few days ago. He thought that the fact that you like his best friend could be enough for him to start hating you. He could sit on that thought for long enough to pick it up to the smallest pieces and over-analyse it to the point he could start hating you.

And he tries to do just that-- he lies awake at night thinking of how every single person he’s ever been interested in slipped right between his fingers just because of Jisung’s existence. He wonders why he’s never good enough to anyone, why he always has to be the second choice even for tutoring (even though it’s not even tutoring, but we won’t talk about that anymore). He thinks of how you’re so foolish to think your relationship with Jisung is going to last, because Jisung’s feelings never stay the same for long. He over-analyses the smallest things he notices on you when you’re in Jisung’s presence until the point he’s almost sure he can do it, he can hate you for it just a little, in a way, but then, the thought flies right out of the open window as his roommate crashes into his door in the middle of the night.

He startles awake, sitting up at his bed, watching the short male going in with much difficulty, sitting on his bed without a word.

“Jisung?”

“Lixie, I fucked it all up, didn’t I?” Jisung whines, laying down on the bed next to his friend. Felix doesn’t think it’s only due to the late hours of the night that his friend’s words aren’t making any sense, but he doesn’t dare to put his finger on it until he makes sure for himself.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N.”

Your name coming out of his lips hits Felix like a baseball bat, hurting in all the right places, as the young male finds it in him to continue the conversation.

“What about her?”

“She asked us to hang out together. And I didn’t go. I know it wasn’t my fault, because my mum was in the town, but still, I feel so bad, because now it must look like I’m not interested in her and that I don’t care and I really don’t want that, you know?” he stummers, making Felix realise his friend talks a lot when he’s under the influence of alcohol just the same second Jisung’s breath catches in Felix’s nose, only proving his point.

“You didn’t fuck it up, don’t worry.” he muses. And it’s true. Jisung could never truly fuck it up with anyone. Even his exes always crumble up around his feet, wanting attention even after getting their heart broken. Will it be the same with you?

“She must think I don’t like her. And that’s horrible-that’s- that’s- I like her. Very much,” he whines again, getting closer to Felix and wrapping his arms around the blonde’s torso in a wave of affection that only washes over him when he’s drunk.

“Sung-” he stutters, desperately trying to push him away, but even though Jisung doesn’t look like it, he is a strong individual when it comes to involuntary cuddling. Felix can never escape his arms.

“I think she’s special, you know? She’s like- I can’t explain it. It’s like with her, I actually want to try. I want to ask her on dates and love her and give her my heart, because you know, I never dared to give my heart to anyone. And no one’s ever made me feel truly special before…” he mutters, forcing his nose to Felix’s neck, “I’m rambling too much, aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” Felix sighs, nodding. He doesn’t battle his arms anymore. Jisung is his friend, at the end of the day. He can hold him when he needs it.

“Sorry.” he says shortly, sighing as well. The room falls into silence and Felix’s head spins again, his thoughts spiral like a tornado and the eye of the storm is you-- standing there with that stupid smile on your face and he once again realises that he needs to hate you in order to shelter his own heart, because you’re like a hurricane when it comes a to a person’s emotions.

The fact is, though, he could never hate you for liking his best friend.

Han Jisung is too likable for his own good. His heart is too big for this world, and truth be told, he’s been sharing it with everyone for such a long time now, he deserves to find someone he’s willing to give his all to.

He could never hate you for liking Jisung-- the boy who smiles at everyone in the halls, the boy that offered him to live in the flat his parent’s bought for him in freshman year, the boy that helps him hide his cheating secret every day. He could never hate you for liking Jisung, because he himself knows too well how much of a treasure his dear friend is.

He gets it. He gets why people always choose Jisung over him. He could never blame you.

“Sung?”

“Hmm?”

“Ask Y/N out to the dog cafe on Wednesday. She'll love it.”

Felix could never hate you.

Step three of Felix’s bullet-proof guide to hating you is quite simple and actually the only one he completes with success. Setting you up with Jisung on a date is easier than he ever imagined, considering the fact that his roommate decided to finally take things into his own hands and call you on a date after the drunken weeping episode in Felix’s bed.

Jisung invites you on a date to the dog café in town. The two of you go on Wednesday and although Felix feels like he just gave his roommate a piece of him, an invitation that was never meant for him in the first place, he feels at ease, because at least one part of his plan is working. He could never hate you, but at least now, it will be easier for him to ignore his growing feelings for you when you spend all your time with Jisung on dates and ice cream runs. He only has to ignore his feelings in school and at your ‘tutoring’ sessions. He wonders how long these will be a secret in front of your new boyfriend. Jisung’s not your boyfriend yet, but Felix can only imagine how short the time he isn’t is going to last.

Felix does the stupid mistake of opening the instagram app in the evening, when he’s curled up in his bed with an embarrassingly big bowl of popcorn on his bed side table, serving him as his depression food. He sees your post show up, an adorable picture of you from the dog café, a big golden retriever in your lap as you giggle at its face. The picture is candid and looks like the kind Felix would like to keep as his lock screen if he had the chance. He’s sure his best friend took it for you not only from the fact that you went out with him tonight, but also for the fact that he’s tagged in the post’s description with a big blue heart emoji.

He could stop staring at the picture if he really wanted, he could mute your posts and pretend you never existed to shelter his poor heart. He could do everything in his strength to cut all his ties with you. That would make it so much easier for him, wouldn’t it?

But he doesn't. And maybe he doesn’t even want to-- he’s used to the pain anyway, isn’t he? The bitterness, the feeling of being pushed away, ignored and left forgotten.

He was supposed to be in Jisung’s place now, but that doesn’t change the simple fact that he isn’t-- maybe it was never his place to claim anyway.

Felix stares at the picture for minutes, wondering of how things could be if you only didn’t fall for his best friend. Or if he came with you today. Who knows, maybe it wasn’t too late for him to ask you on a date. Maybe he could still change your mind. Felix likes to give up on things too quickly, though, and that is the curse that will follow him his whole life.

Lee Felix is good at cheating. He is insanely good at it, he would also say it’s the only thing he’s ever been good at. Pretending.

It’s his time to shine again. It’s time to pretend he doesn’t like you, pretend you don’t hurt him, pretend he isn’t in love with his best friend’s crush. He’s been always the best at cheating and now it’s time to cheat his way out of liking you.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

“You must be really hungry, if you’re planning to eat all of that in one setting,” Felix mumbles, watching you as you eat yet another plate of chicken wings in yet another pointless bistro in town. Felix wonders how you even know about all of these, since the one you’re both sitting in right now, in the middle of the night, looks rather lonely. It doesn’t even seem that welcoming-- it has graffiti on the walls and the seats are a little torn on the edges, but you don’t seem to care as you munch on the chicken, eyes big when you stare back at your companion.

“I eat a lot when I’m stressed,” you mutter in between your bites, mouth full. You look natural like this and Felix realises this is you in his mind-- cheeks full of food, that little wrinkle in between your brows when you look at him, eyes staring big into his like a loyal dog. This is how he knows you, in your rawest form, and this is coincidentally, also, how he likes you the most. He loves and treasures every single version of you, but your late-night meetings feel of different kind of intimacy to him that he’s sure he’s going to think of even when he’s old and his college years are dusty like an old polaroid picture.

“Stressed?” he asks, tone of voice a little more worried than usual. Felix always worries about you. Even when you quietly take out your cheat sheet from under the table and write your answers down. He doesn’t fear being caught-- he frankly doesn’t care that much, but he knows that you are having a battle with yourself and he really doesn’t want you to feel like you lost. He didn’t know it was so easy to put someone else first when you worry for the future.

“The finals are coming up.” you clarify, the words coming out a little bashful and smitten.

“Oh.” he nods.

You’re both quiet for a while. It would be cheesy to say the silence was comfortable, and Felix knows, he’s seen enough teenage dramas to know these words are used in situations like this, but the truth is, there’s no other way to describe it, and he understands that now. Your determination shines through all your edges and he’s glad you’re doing what you can with the resources you have. You’re not exactly studying for your Biology finals, but it’s still as hard and as stressful as that. It can feel a little embarrassing at times, but there’s no other way around it. You have to battle your enemy, even if it means the game is not fair.

“And those chicken wings are fucking good, dude,” you mutter after a while, offering him one of the paper baskets the server brought you a few minutes ago, looking rather stoned and not interested in your presence at all.

“Don’t tell me this rotten place is winning your chicken wings and fries contest,” Felix snickers, taking a bite that, to his surprise, actually tastes the best out of the amount of fast food chains and restaurants you’ve brought him to. You should never judge a book by its cover and this bistro is clearly one of the examples.

“I have only one place left to go, so we’ll see then, but I guess it might just be the top place right now,” you muse out, a wide grin decorating your features as you glance up at Felix that watches you scribble down your notes on a mini piece of paper.

“Wanna go with me there? After the finals, of course. We can celebrate if we pass,” you point out, licking your lips in nerves, “I don’t think I’ll need these ‘tutoring sessions’ anymore then, but I still want to hang out sometime.” you say, putting air quotes around the words tutoring session, looking at him with expectations in your eyes.

“Oh, sure,” he agrees, nodding. “I have to be there when you finally declare your last yelp review.”

You only laugh at him and shake your head, eating some more as you look down into your notes again, lost in work. “I still don’t get how you can do these so fast.”

“I already know what’s the most useful. You don’t have to copy the whole textbook on there.”

“You can never know! What if I’ll need it all?” you exclaim, only making him laugh harder.

He points his eyes out of the window, watching the empty parking lot. You didn’t come in your car today, telling Felix your house is close anyway, and Felix doesn’t dare to drive his car anywhere unless he doesn’t need to. He has a little bit of a trauma since the last time he drove with his dad and he almost ran the car into a tree, getting a shower of swear words and exclamations from his dear father, so he only drives his small white Renault when he needs to go home. Which is, coincidentally, next week.

“I really don’t want to go home next week,” he sighs.

“Your family is still onto you for the smallest shit?” you ask, tone of voice sympathetic.

“Yeah. Can’t wait to graduate so I don’t have to listen to them talking about a degree anymore,” he rolls his eyes, “I only have to find myself a partner so my grandma can shut up about me being single all the time.”

You softly laugh, making Felix look at you for a moment, his heart skipping a few beats when your eyes meet for a little more seconds than usual. “I’m sorry. You can always text me, though, if you need anyone to talk or gossip with.” you say, averting your eyes from his.

“You’d have to be on your phone 24/7, then. My mental stability comes down by 70% when I’m back home and it’s already only on 15% now,” Felix snickers.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I’ll be staying here anyway.” you say, giggling.

“You’re not coming back home?”

“No,” you shake your head in disapproval, quickly glancing into his eyes before speaking up again, “it’s my parent’s wedding anniversary, so they’re going on a holiday. There’s no use in me coming home if I’m just going to be alone there anyway,” you shrug.

Felix hums, nodding in understatement. “That makes sense. I’m sorry you can’t meet your family on holidays, though.”

“It’s okay,” you say, “I see them often anyway. One Christmas won’t kill me. I have a whole season of Game of thrones to catch up on anyway.” you light-heartedly laugh, sounding like Felix’s favorite song. He smiles with you, shaking his head in disbelief at how positively you can always see the world, when he glances out of the window for a moment again, only to be met with a surprise.

There are white flakes of snow falling from the sky and something in Felix wakes up-- something he’d call happiness, maybe even joy, when he quickly shoots up from his seat and calls you with excitement coating his voice, “Y/N! Y/N! Come on!”

“Come where? Felix, what are you-”

He doesn’t let you finish as he takes you by the hand and tugs you on your feet, tugging you out of the empty bistro out into the dark parking lot, admiring the snowflakes falling onto the ground and every surface in his sight. He sees some stick into your hair, making him giggle as his outstretched hand dusts them off subconsciously, when he starts running around like a happy child, laughter coming out of his throat filling the silence.

“It’s snowing!” you exclaim, when Felix reaches your body frozen in its place again. He reminds you of a golden retriever when he jumps a little in his place, his feet happily crouching in the snow. You laugh at his antics when he starts acting like a little boy, this side of Felix being so new to you, yet you can’t help but feel your heart swell with admiration when he asks you to catch some snow into your mouth.

“Felix! That’s disgusting!” you refuse, laughing.

“Oh come on! It’s just water!” he cheers, leaning his head back and opening his mouth wide, waiting for the snow to fall into his mouth.

“But it’s unhygienic and dirty! You have to be kidding me!” you still reject his idea, standing your ground firmly as always in your life so far, when a face of a boy looking like an angel takes you by surprise and his big eyes plead you in a way that makes you drop all your grudges and all your beliefs down, rolling your eyes when he pouts, leaning your head back as well and opening your mouth with a loud ‘aaaa’ sound to satisfy his foolish heart.

Once you both feel a snowflake hitting your tongues, you look at each other with your tongues out, laughing at how stupid the other one looks, pointing to your tongues. You shake your head. “It melted off, you stupid!”

“You did the same thing!” he bursts out laughing, bending over in the force of his emotions. You watch him with a wide grin plastered onto your face. It feels like watching a movie. You don’t think you’ll ever have a brighter memory with the boy in front of you, with his cheeks red from the snow and smile so wide it hurts both of your jaws.

You instinctively take his hands into yours, looking down on your feet as you start going around in a circle with him, going quicker and quicker as you watch your footprints in the snow mixing with his, the dry skin of his hands making you feel strange. You laugh out when your head starts spinning, looking up at him to find him already staring at you with stars in his eyes, when you wonder,

isn’t this how love is supposed to feel?

All of his life, Felix had thought that family gatherings could always either go two ways, and that is: 1) a normal, boring meet-ups where your grandma asks about how school’s going, when you’re going to finally find a partner and another one of your cousin’s announces their engagement party, or 2) the actual engagement parties-- every single family member including the senile grandma from mum’s side gets drunk and you don’t have to think about more fake reasons why you have yet to lose your virginity.

You see, Felix is wrong in a lot of things. And this was surely one of them-- it’s the December 27th and he’s sitting in his grandma’s old kitchen, the wind blowing through the cracks of her window and the sweets on the table have already melted from the heat being too high, because his aunt is always cold and they can’t compromise. That sounds fine, even usual, Felix would say, however, the fire lights up a few moments later when his head starts to hurt from all the talking and he begins to dissociate a little too much, meaning that his grandma now has to shift her attention from all of his other relatives to him, because how dare he stay quiet on a family gathering where he has nothing to add to the conversation, right?

It starts off as usual, the answers to these questions digged deep into Felix’s brain since the first year of college. He doesn’t even bat an eye when he answers the questions directed at his studies and grades, telling all of his interested relatives that he’s working hard and it’s paying off. Nobody complains or disagrees-- his grades are awesome. His degree is here soon. Felix almost thinks he’s over with when his grandma laughs at a poor joke that comes out of his mouth, but that was only a bad prediction as he moves on to questions about his love life, which are, believe me or not, much more boring and much more ego-hurting for the blonde.

“Do you have a girlfriend yet, Felix?” she asks, tone of voice sounding rather interested, but don’t believe her-- it’s only an act. She’s ready to laugh into his face when he gives her the answer she’s hoping for.

“No, not yet, grandma,” he mumbles, averting his eyes from her wrinkley face as soon as possible. He really doesn’t need to look at her any longer to know she’s silently judging him on the inside, because that’s just how his grandmother is.

“That’s such a shame… I wonder why… You’re such a pretty young boy, aren’t you?” she mutters under her nose, tone almost whiney, “what about your roommate? Jisung, was it?”

Felix takes a deep breath in, closing his eyes for a second to calm his rising heart beat. He could have predicted questions like this coming, because the conversation always somehow diverted to his roommate even when he was at home with his family. It’s crazy, how everyone just seems to adore Jisung much more than their own family member.

“He’s.. Yeah. He’s always with someone, you know him. Not now, though, now he’s single,” Felix nods, explaining.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll find someone soon,” she admits, “he’s such a gentleman. And so handsome as well, isn’t he?” she asks, his aunt from her right side nodding quickly at the mention of Han Jisung.

“He always has so many people around him, he’s so charming. If only you were more like him, maybe then someone would date you as well,” his grandma says calmly, not even noticing the way her words cut deeper and deeper into Felix’s heart, kicking him and punching him like a boxing bag, “you should try to be more like him.”

Felix bites down on his lower lip, rolling his eyes. Frustration coats his voice once he speaks up, the built-up anger living inside of him like an animal kept well in its cage. He doesn’t want to let it out, because he fears what it might do once it’s free, but he still retorts to a dig addressed to his grandma, huffing in annoyance. “Should I send Jisung home instead of me next time?”

“Oh no, Felix, what are you even saying right now?” his grandma looks rather offended, eyes twice their usual size as she glares at him.

“Well, since you like him so much.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I was just saying that-”

“Leave it.” Felix says.

The atmosphere is too heavy now, all eyes on him as if he was in a circus, watching him just moments before his breaking. He realises he no longer feels welcome in this place and maybe he never did, he just chose to ignore it by now, because that’s what he always does when a problem appears-- he chooses ignorance. Ignorance is Felix’s best friend, and although it may sound like he’s running away from his problems all the time, it’s always worked so far. He’s just protecting his heart, building walls around it.

He doesn’t want to fight. He hates conflict. So, even though he’d like to snap, even though he’d like to leash out like an animal, he doesn’t. He steps back-- as he always does, taking the car keys from the table and escaping the house, hearing the calls of his mother after him. He doesn’t bother to say goodbye, he doesn’t even bother to look back nor take the Christmas gifts his grandma brought for everyone.

He sits into the small white Renault he drives once a year when he comes back home, starts the engine and speeds up to the limit, driving away from all of his problems. He doesn’t want to hear their complaints, he doesn’t want to listen. It’s the best this way. He wants to ignore the words that came out of his grandma’s mouth, but he can’t find it in him as he hears them resonate in his head over and over again.

He’s the second choice even in his own family. He’s a joke to everyone, isn’t he? Just the side character, the one that never gets the spotlight. It hurts, it hurts him so much, but he pays no attention to his blurry vision, because even though he’s fairly sure no one from his family would miss him, he doesn’t want to drive off the road and kill himself with his escape.

He parks the car in front of his and Jisung’s flat after a few hours. He’s fairly good at it, considering he never drives, and mentally puts up a middle finger to his dad in his head for screaming at him so much. He was in a much calmer headspace when he was driving with his dad than he was now, yet, he didn’t manage to drive anyone over.

Putting his feet into the cold, empty apartment, turning the heating on and plopping down on the sofa, he once again realises how lonely it feels. Not only because of the feeling of abandonment the dark flat resonates, but also due to the fact that it truly feels like now, he’s all alone in this world. The silence screams louder than any words ever could, his ears lowly ringing without any sound in the small room, which makes him wonder if he’s truly the only one that has to spend his holidays pretty much alone. Maybe it’s his fault that he’s fucked it up with his family, who knows-- but that’s a topic for another overthinking session of his, when he decides to let it go once his eyes meet the snow silently falling down behind the window.

The dark mixed with the white balls of fluff in the air remind him of you. Your bubbly laugh, the feeling of your skin on his when you held his hands and danced around with him in the snow. He feels a smile growing on his face, despite everything he’s heard today, his fingers involuntarily texting you to see if you’re doing anything and if you can hang out with him today.

He meets you at the door a few minutes later, your nose runny from the cold and hands dry, smiling at you with a sense he can only describe as belonging, because he realises, maybe you feel just as lonely as him on holidays and suddenly, he no longer feels sorry for leaving.

“Why are you even here, Lix? Shouldn’t you be at home?” you ask him when you’re taking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the hanger by the door. He bites down on his lower lip to suppress a bitter chuckle.

“Christmas got cancelled this year.” he shrugs.

It’s not like he doesn’t trust you. You know better than anyone what his struggles are-- he asked you to keep his secrets numerous times. It’s just that now that you’re here, it’s like his soul finally feels calm and he no longer wants to whine about his grandma or his aunts anymore. It’s just you and him and the empty apartment. If he was anyone else, maybe he’d try to get into your pants. He’s just Lee Felix though, and he’s absolutely, wholeheartedly in love with you, he realises, and believe me, it kind of takes him over the edge, and so he doesn’t try anything.

And you look at him in understatement, no other questions asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s all a capitalistic holiday anyway,” he shrugs.

You follow him into the living room and he throws the remote control into your lap, telling you to choose a movie before he comes back with popcorn.

“If you don’t pick anything before I’m done, we’ll just watch Venom, I don’t care,” he says, seeing you adorably scrunch up your nose at him in response.

When he comes back and you’re waiting for him with Howl’s moving castle paused on Netflix, he can’t help but grin at you. He places the popcorn on the coffee table and notices himself staring onto your body next to his far more often than the TV and wonders if he really drove away from all of his problems or if he just drove away from one problem to another, because now, it’s getting really hard to focus on staying away from you.

And when you shiver and curl up into his side, placing your head onto his shoulder, he can’t help but jolt at the contact, staring at you in surprise.

“It’s cold,” you mumble, pouting.

Felix smiles. He rolls his eyes at you, even though on the inside, he finds you absolutely adorable, taking a blanket from the side of the sofa and putting it over your cold bodies, tucking you both in. You feel warm against his side, your hand resting on his chest. He wonders if you can feel his quickening heartbeat, his stiff body and the nerves rising in his heart. Everything else disappears, the fight back home long forgotten and Han Jisung left somewhere home with his own family, the weight of your body overwhelming him when you fall asleep and that’s when he stops and thinks,

isn’t this how home’s supposed to feel like?

The halls of the university building are empty as Felix stands right in front of the closed door, silently pacing around the corridors and bumping his knee up and down. He just got his final’s results and even though his soul was supposed to be at peace, he finds himself stressing over you, currently sitting in the room behind the closed door in front of him, getting your final’s results from biology back. The professor decided to split your class into two groups for the finals so you can, quote, ‘focus better when there’s less people around’ and even though you managed to cheat on your exams without any problems, he still wonders if you did well and if you passed.

Once the voices behind the closed doors get louder and louder, he figures it’s near the end of your lecture and he can finally see you again and ask you how you did.

The last time he talked to you without the stress of finals breathing onto your back was back on Christmas break-- more than a week ago. Ever since then, you two have been meeting in the middle of the night again, preparing for your upcoming tests. You didn’t really manage to talk a lot about anything else and even though Felix didn’t mind, he still missed your mindless rambles and weird jokes you used to crack when you weren’t stressing your mind off.

The door opens and reveals people coming out, a few of them wearing a toothy grin on their faces as they glance on the paper in their hands, a few of them frowning as they pin their eyes to the ground. It’s not easy to differentiate the ones that passed and the ones who did not do that well and even though Felix feels sorry for them, he wonders why they just don’t cheat their way out of bad grades just how he does. It’s not that hard. It just takes a lot of practice.

Once he finally sees your face, a big, toothy grin decorating your lips, a big stone falls off his heart, a weight lifts itself from his shoulders, because frankly, you wouldn’t look so happy if you failed, right? You’re not a total psychopath.

“How did you-”

His words are cut off from his mouth, all air kicked out of his body once he feels you so close, the soft skin of your lips pressed up against his in a happy kiss. He’s startled, to say the least. His cheeks are reddening in the instance and he doesn’t even know if time stopped or if it’s just the rising anxiety and excitement in his chest, but he bites down the confusion and kisses you back finally, closing his eyes and bringing you close by your shoulders. The kiss is a little sloppy and messy, but he doesn’t mind-- all that’s occupying his mind right now is you, your sweet lips, your mouthy kiss, your excited hands creeping up around his neck, your bag that fell to the ground next to his feet, your exam paper marked with the big red A+ flying around the two of you when you let it fall from your grasp, your hair tickling his cheeks, you, you, you.

There’s only you. In the air he breathes, in the ground he walks on, in his hands and on his mind. You’re everywhere. Intoxicating.

You pull away from him after a while, grinning at him. It still manages to startle him a little-- how just the small gesture can light up his whole world, how your smile can make him feel like he’s the luckiest person on this earth. He sees stars in your eyes and he wonders who put them there, hoping to be the one, believing he could finally be the one, with how you look at him and hold him in your arms-

but it’s Felix’s life we’re talking about. There’s only you, you, you and maybe somewhere, far away in the distance, there could even be him, but who’s always there for sure is Han Jisung.

Han Jisung staring at the two of you from the open door, mouth agape in shock. Han Jisung with trembling hands, Han Jisung with his books clutched close to his chest as Felix’s heart drops and reality finally hits him. You were never supposed to be his to kiss. You were supposed to be Jisung’s-- his roommate’s, his best friend’s -- you fell for him long, long ago and that’s how it’s always been.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to comfort his dear friend that looks like he’s heart’s being broken, but he finds no words in him to console his actions. He feels bad, he feels so, so guilty when their eyes meet, but he doesn’t manage to say anything before Jisung turns around the corner and leaves.

The sound of Jisung’s quick steps is the only thing resonating in Felix’s mind like a bell, a signal for him that he fucked up, he did a really, really bad thing.

His insides clutch and eyes water in the empty college corridor when he wonders,

is this how it feels to break someone’s heart?

You kick the small rocks beneath your feet, gazing into the distance. The cold in your bones makes you shudder, your eyes trailing around the neighbourhood so foreign to you, putting your hands into your pockets so you shelter your fingers from the frozen air. You think how this place looks exactly as you imagined it to-- tall apartment complex and a single big tree in front of it, the cars parked in the driveway obviously having their spot as the neighbours have lived together for a long time to know not to park anywhere else, because it’s more efficient this way.

You’re waiting and waiting, hoping to see the one you’re waiting for soon, because you doubt your confidence will last you for any longer if you don’t talk to him now. You could lie and tell yourself it’s okay and that you’re not nervous at all, but after Jisung ran away the other day and his roommate followed him a few moments later, you feel nervousness creeping into your skin after not seeing or hearing from Felix for three days now.

You remember him telling you that he likes to go for late-night convenience store runs every evening to get his favorite snacks. It wasn’t hard to find out where he lives-- it’s the 21st century, for god’s sake. You asked a friend of his friend and here you are, waiting for him to appear in the door of his apartment complex, ready to talk to him about the events of this week.

Once you hear the door opening, you feel your head snap to its direction quicker than the speed of light, knees almost getting weak at the sight of Lee Felix standing there, confusion written all over his face once his eyes meet with yours. The frown forming on his face only deepens your stress as you wonder if he didn’t want to see you today, which, considering the fact that he’s been ignoring you for the past few days, might just be the case, but it still makes your heart break just a little when you hear him sigh once he makes his way over to you, the sound of his sneakers on the ground being the only thing heard in the middle of the night.

All the snow has melted-- as if all the bright things have left just in time with it, leaving you sad and cold, the clouds of your breath hitting the cold air being the only thing reminding you of the weather as you feel your body heating up in his presence.

“Can we talk?” you ask, voice steadier than you expected it to be.

“I- I mean,” he starts, a shaky and husky voice hitting your ears, signaling that he probably hadn’t spoken to anyone for a long time now, “you’re already here, so I guess…”

You nod at him, averting your gaze quickly to the ground, when you realise you suddenly don’t know what to say. You try to search for words, yet none come out of your mouth. Your mind is blank and it seems like his presence took away all your vocabulary, but deep on the inside, you know damn well that if you don’t speak up now, you won’t have a second chance and you really have to get it now.

“Why- why…” you mutter, “why did you leave without saying anything the other day?” you ask.

The silence is overwhelming as you start to hate the sound of your own breath, opting to hold it for a few seconds as you await his response.

“I mean, isn’t it obvious?”

You shake your head in confusion, finally meeting his eyes again. “No.”

“Jisung… Jisung saw us. I didn’t feel like it was right,” he explains, cracking his knuckles in a nervous habit you noticed in him a long, long time ago when he first tried to teach you how to cheat in class without getting caught.

“What does he have to do with anything?”

“You two like each other.” he says bluntly, taking you off-guard.

The moment these words come out of his mouth, you realise not one, but two things. One of them is fairly new to you, the fact that Han Jisung liked you back was something you never knew you could experience, but even though you should be flattered, you realise it no longer holds a meaning in your heart. The second thing is connected to the first-- and that is, Lee Felix doesn’t know that you like him now. His foolish, silly mind convinced him you were still in love with his best friend, his confused and frustrated brain didn’t let him realise that for a long, long time now, the freckled boy in front of you has been the only one you thought about when you were falling asleep at night.

You don’t even know when it happened. You guess it just did. You wondered how it’d feel to know what exactly made you fall for Felix, what that moment was, but something inside of you is telling you that maybe, it was even more wonderful this way. Unexpected, but totally reasonable.

“Why would I be kissing you if I still liked Jisung?” you ask, the fear of directly confessing to him and getting rejected creeping up in your shadow.

“I- I don’t know-”

“Exactly.” you cut him off before he rambles and manages to find a stupid, silly reason in his head to justify his wrong expectations. You know how he is-- if he overthinks things hard enough, he’ll surely find an answer. There’s none, though, so you don’t dare to give him time to think about it and ponder on the thought for any longer.

“But that doesn’t matter now anyway,” he shrugs, putting his hands into his pockets.

You wonder what’s going on inside of his head right now. You wonder if he regrets what he’s done-- if he wants to turn back time and never let you kiss him. The nerves make you bite down harshly on your bottom lip and you only catch yourself when you feel iron in your mouth, quickly licking your own wound on the surface of your mouth and take a deep breath in.

“Why?” you ask.

“Why would it?” he says, eyes boring into yours.

“Because… I thought it meant something to you? I mean, it meant a lot to me, at least. That’s why I’m even here in the first place,” you chuckle airly, feeling your throat get dry.

“I’m not saying that it didn’t, I just think it had no point.”

His words feel like knives thrown into your chest, like a fire burning the pit of your stomach. You feel your legs getting weaker at his arguments, your fingers harshly tugging at the skin of your cuticles hidden in your pockets. You don’t trust your voice to sound steady this time when you speak, but you don’t care. Maybe it’s time to show your real emotions. Maybe it will change Felix’s mind.

“And why is that?”

“Because people like you don’t date people like me. You’re supposed to be in love with Jisung. You’re supposed to be dating him, he’s supposed to date you. You’re too good for me anyway.” he shrugs.

“Is this all about Jisung?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed.

You watch Felix sharply inhale in and out, averting his eyes from your figure. The distance between the two of you is unnatural, as if to singal how the two of you are slowly drifting apart. You see him fold his hands on his chest, preparing for what he’s about to say.

“It hurt him, back then. And I hate that. He loves you and I just.. I can’t do that to him, when I know how much he cares about you.” he says.

Love is a strange thing. You hear Felix say how much Jisung loves you, but is that really true? Does Han Jisung even know you? The real you?

Does Jisung know how you look with your mouth full of fries and a greasy forehead? Does he know how you look when you’re stressed out of your mind because of finals? Does he know your favorite bistro, does he know your favorite movie? Did you cuddle up with Jisung on the couch just because you wanted to be close to him, comfort him and tell him you’re there just a few days after Christmas?

Or does he just know the self you put up in front of him when you went to meet him? The put-together you that cares even about the sound of your own laugh, not wanting it to sound ugly in his ears?

Han Jisung can’t love you. He doesn’t even know you.

And you never loved him-- just for the same reason. The feelings you had for him were merely a feeling of attraction, so far away from love.

But now you know how you feel about Felix, how his smile lights up the world and how his presence makes you feel understood. How even the silence with him speaks louder than a million words, how he knows you like the back of his hand and how he treats you like his closest friend. You know that what you feel when you’re with him is stronger than anything you ever have and although it used to scare you for a moment, now you’re ready to embrace it and live with it, if he lets you.

Lee Felix doesn’t tell you he loves you. Maybe you can see it in his eyes.

Why does he have to put everything above love? Why does he care about Jisung more than you? It’s breaking your heart.

“Felix… I’m sure he’d understand. He’s a good person. I’m sure he’d want you to be happy.”

“Y/N, you don’t understand-”

“He’s a grown adult!” you yell out, the built-up emotions coming to the surface in the form of frustration, your words sunding spiteful and angry. Maybe you are furious, maybe you are full of fire right now, but it’s all because of the boy in front of you and the things he refuses to let himself enjoy.

“Why do you even care about it so much, huh? I was your fucking second choice all along anyway!”

You look at him in shock, your eyes watering at the sight of the frown sitting on his face. Something inside of you breaks and you think it’s safe to say it was your heart, choking you up as you shake your head in disapproval.

“Felix-” you protest, but there’s no use.

You see him turn around on his heel, opening the door to the apartment complex and leaving. It feels like you’re losing him, it feels like he’s gone forever. He turned his back on you, refusing all the love you were willing to give him, all the love you were offering to him right here, your heart in your hands.

He gave up on your love.

People in movies go out to party after a break-up to get drunk and numb their feelings. They either go to the club or go to a stupid college party, which is, coincidentally, your case today, but you’re not here to get drunk tonight. You’re not here to drown out your feelings and numb your pained soul-- you’re simply here to try to have some fun.

Your mum told you long, long ago that happiness is a choice. You could argue with her and tell her that depression and heartbreak aren’t a choice and that they, by themselves, are causing people the most sadness, but you had to give your mum a point. If you don’t choose to try, if you don’t do anything to at least try to stimulate your own brain, you can’t expect happiness to find you by itself. That’s just, sadly, not how life works, and you weren’t going to drown out in your own tears just because of Lee fucking Felix, because if you weren’t worth trying for him, he’s not worth any of your tears.

You appear on Lee Haechan’s end of the semester party. You have A+ finals to celebrate and although you would be much happier to drink to them with the one that basically helped you get through the semester, you won’t pass the chance to socialize. You worked hard and you did a good job-- you deserve a party. Alcohol truly isn’t the best for your brain, but you will just decide to call it selfcare. It’s not like you’re getting blacked-out drunk tonight anyway.

You manage to have small talk with a few people from your class. Though it’s not exactly what’s stimulating your brain, you don’t mind it. You barely know these people and you couldn’t care less, but you guess this is the downside of socialising.

The alcohol in your veins doesn’t give you a chance to loosen up, though. You only feel your body warmer with the beer hitting your system, but your feelings still taste of salt, your brain not cooperating with your grandiose happiness plan and you think the people talking to you notice, since no one really tries to keep you in a conversation long enough when you start to absently nod at them and pay zero attention to what they’re saying. You don’t blame them, though. You’d probably do the same in their place.

Your feet move their way to the front door when you decide that maybe your mum wasn’t right, completely ready to go home and pity yourself for a few more days before coming back to life, when a familiar voice calls you from behind, making you freeze in your spot.

“Y/N, long time no see.”

Han Jisung watches you with glossy eyes, yet he tries to look nonchalant at the sight of you. It doesn’t feel like his heart is breaking when he sees you right here and there, chewing on your bottom lip, more or less, it feels numbing to his heart and his head. It’s like he expected it all from the start-- the outcome that once so surprised him. But after all this time he spent overthinking and dwelling on the memory of seeing you kissing his best friend, it made sense to him.

“Jisung…”

He can see your eyes growing worried when you watch over him and he mentally slaps himself for not handling his emotions with more care back then. He could have spared you a lot of pain and trouble if he hadn’t reacted in such a way in the doorway of your classroom, but the truth is, Han Jisung hadn’t really known just how much a true heartbreak feels and nothing could ever prepare him for the physical pain numbing his chest. He didn’t know it could hurt so much.

He doesn’t want to worry you. You are still his friend, after all, right? That’s all you always have been and he should have understood it from the first moment he saw you gaze at his friend so lovingly in the university halls one day. He thinks you, yourself, didn’t even recognise the emotion in you when you watched over Felix with so much care, with so many stars in his eyes and a big grin on your face. He could never compare himself to Felix.

He doesn’t want to worry you anymore, and so he decides to talk to you like a friend would. You looked like you could use a friend tonight.

“How have you been?” he asks, smiling at you. He hopes his eyes convey the emotion he feels-- how after all this time, he still feels comfortable with you and desperately needs you to do the same. He can’t lose another friend. Not to love.

That happens every single time. Truth be told, Jisung used to have a problem with differentiating true love from platonic feelings sometimes. He used to think he falls out of love just as quickly as he falls in, but the truth is that it was never even love at all. Sometimes, it was just pure admiration. Feelings for a friend. And he managed to ruin all his friendships just because he started dating them.

And then, he just kept searching and searching for the right one, because no one ever felt right. No one ever made him feel loved, no one ever made him feel love. It felt suffocating, but so, so addicting. He could never give up on trying to find love.

And then he met you. And it finally made sense-- it finally felt right.

“I’m… I’m fine, thanks,” you say, smiling at him with that smile that still, admittedly, made his heart race and swell with love. He’s not afraid to call the emotion by its name. It doesn’t feel wrong. He used to think he wants it to stop, but the truth is, it still feels nice.

Love feels like loneliness sometimes. It’s a bittersweet feeling. But it’s still so, so addicting.

“Are you sure?” he asks. He knows you. He knows when something’s wrong.

He also knows your eyes have been searching for his roommate for the past few minutes of your conversation. He knows you want to meet him and avoid him all at once, love him and leave him-- it was a paradox.

He knows his roommate way too well, though. He knows he can’t fall out of love with you. He knows, though, that he’ll never act upon it. Lee Felix has always been the sweetest person in this whole entire world-- putting the needs of others before his own. He can’t keep doing this to himself.He can’t keep doing this to you.

“I think you know the answer, Jisung. Why do you keep asking, then?” you bitterly snicker, going around him and escaping the noisy house. Jisung doesn’t know if you want to leave, if you want to escape his presence, but he can’t leave you just like that, and so he follows you outside, seeing you sitting at the doorstep, as if you were waiting for him.

“You don’t have to think of me, you know that, right?” he says once he takes a seat next to you, watching your expression change into a pained one.

“It’s… I don’t know. It’s complicated. And Felix- he doesn’t think it’s right. I can’t force him into anything. It was his choice anyway,” you mutter. Jisung sighs heavily, the feeling your words on his chest heavy and solemn. He hates the fact that he is standing in the way of your happiness. He hates the fact that he is the problem, the invisible wall keeping you two from each other.

“It’s simple, though.” he shrugs.

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, a heavy sigh escaping your lips. He takes it upon himself to explain before you begin to tell him that it’s not, opting to open your eyes on his own.

“You two are in love with each other. So you should be together. Isn’t that simple?” he asks, smiling at you subtly.

You scoff and shake your head. “He gave up on us.”

“Did he, or did he just do what he felt was right?” Jisung argues. “You can’t keep hiding from each other. You can’t keep trying to ignore your feelings just because I like you. That’s not fair for either of you.”

You don’t argue with him this time. He wonders what’s going on inside of your head at the moment, with your eyebrows furrowed and your bottom lip trapped in your teeth. You look just like all the times he watched you during your tutoring sessions-- focused and lost in thought. It will feel weird to not see you in that way anymore, but he has to try.

The same way Lee Felix always tried for him.

“You’re too sweet, Han Jisung. What a shame our timing’s off.” you say, bitterness coating your voice. He looks up at you again, wondering what your words mean. “I used to like you back then, you know,” you smile.

Here it is, the strange emotion again. The emotion of almost physical pain, a hand squeezing his heart, a knife stabbed into his back. It feels like his world is crumbling down on him, because he’s stupid-- so stupid. He could have had you back then. He could have been with you all this time, only if he wasn’t late. He missed his biggest chance, the biggest opportunity, the happiest time of his life. All because he was too hesitant.

He didn’t deserve you anyway.

“But now your timing’s right with Felix. Don’t waste that,” he says, biting through the pain.

Because the truth is, if anyone deserved love, it was his roommate. The one that refused you for him, the one that rejected you for him, the one that set him up on a date with you even though you invited him in the first place. The one who gave up on his love only so he wouldn’t hurt his friend. You could say that Jisung was too good for this world, but Lee Felix is the one that deserves the whole entire world, in his eyes.

Maybe these two were just too good of friends. Caring about the other one twice as much as about themselves. And that’s exactly why Jisung will get over this-- he’ll push you to his friend. So he could be happy, finally.

“Jisung, I don’t know-”

“Do it,” he cuts you off, “reach out to him again. Try it. For me.”

y/n: meet me at the 8Bistro at 9

Felix can’t believe himself when he finds his legs moving to the direction of the bistro at the edge of the town. He knows it’s the last one on your list, the one you invited him to so you could celebrate your finals in and he finds himself wondering if he could have gone here with you earlier only if the two of you didn’t share that kiss back then.

That damned kiss he couldn’t stop thinking about for the last few days-- even weeks, every time he opened his eyes in the morning and closed them when he was about to sleep. It kept following him like a curse, a thing he couldn’t escape, as if it was testing him like the snake tested Eve in paradise. Foreign fruit.

You’re sitting there already when he arrives, fingers playing with each other as you gaze at the door in expectation. He sees your usual order already on the table, assuming you got here early, but it’s untouched as your knee bumps up and down under the table and you bite down harshly on your bottom lip.

He takes a seat, allowing himself to look at you again after such a long time. It feels like it’s been ages, yet you still look the same to him-- the same beauty that hit him when he first met you and shared his biggest secret with you.

“Why aren’t you eating? You have to finish off your list,” he mumbles awkwardly, motioning to the food at the table.

“I wanted to wait for you.” you say. Your voice is quiet, almost shy, when you speak to him. He wonders just how much he fucked up that it made you act this way. He knows it’s probably a lot, but considering he’s sitting here right now, he can still fix it.

At least he hopes so.

“Did you.. Do you want to talk to me about something?” he asks, nervosity filling his veins as he feels his hands form a little swimming pool with just how much he’s sweating.

“Yes,” you nod, taking a deep breath in and out. He wonders if you’re just as nervous as he is. The answer is probably yes, considering your tense shoulders and restless legs, but he doesn’t comment on it as he watches you begin speaking again. “I wanted to tell you that I’m- I’m in love with you. And that it’s for real, and it’s for you and no one else,” you start, quickly wetting your lips and continuing again, “and I know you must feel like a second choice, or like you weren’t important to me at all, but that’s not true.”

“You helped me so much, really, but the more I hung out with you, the more I realised just how wonderful you are. And how your heart is so big, how you’re fun to be around…” you ramble, taking Felix by surprise with your heart-felt monologue, “and that Jisung is not the one for me, because, well, it was just.. it was just a crush. I didn’t know him. He didn’t even know me that well. Crushes… they don’t mean anything. They’re silly. But what I have with you, Felix…” you say, drifting your eyes away from him for a second,

“I know you. The real you. And you know me. You’ve seen me at my worst. You’ve seen me struggle and you know exactly how to help. You know me and I know you and the feelings I have for you are much more than a silly crush. I love you, Felix. And I don’t want to just forget about us.” you complete and Felix swears he can feel his eyes watering at your words. He chooses not to speak up, afraid of his voice breaking, afraid he’s going to embarrass himself in front of you. His emotions got the best of him and right here and now, no one else matters.

It’s you. You that feels like home, you, the only girl he’s ever loved. You, the only girl that ever loved him back, you, who he foolishly rejected.

You’re everywhere. In his veins, in his heart, in his foolish, stupid mind.

“Felix… I don’t want you to give up on us.”

He looks up, seeing your sincere eyes and a look full of worry. You seem so wonderful to him, even now. You’re everything he’s ever dreamt of, a home without a roof and walls. With you, he feels at ease. He trusts you. He’s never felt this way for anyone before.

He watches you and he hears your laugh, he hears your whines when he used to tease you so much. He hears the sound of your memories when he chased you around in the snow. He hears the opening song of Howl’s moving castle, reminding him of the warmth he felt when you hugged him so close that evening.

He used to want to hate you. He should have known that could never be the case.

You’re all he needs-- all he wants. You’re everywhere he looks, in every beauty of the world and in everything that’s dear to him.

You, you, you, you.

And so he decides-- it’s time to change his plan.

Lee Felix’s bullet-proof guide to loving you: 1) hold her hand, 2) get rid of the guilt, 3) lean in and kiss her.

“Does that mean you’re giving us a chance?” you ask, hopeful eyes glaring at him with millions of stars in them, sparkles swimming around in perfection.

“We’ll talk after you eat. You have a yelp review to write,” he laughs.

“Feli-”

Lee Felix’s bullet-proof guide to loving you: 4) shut her up by forcing french fries into her mouth.

“I love you too.”

2K notes · View notes

write-orflight · 3 years

Text

The Fraction of Innocence.

**Gif Not Mine**

Anon Requested: 10, 16, and 25 for the smutty prompts thing!!!

10: “were you just touching yourself?” ‘yeah, what are you donna do about it?’

16: “the only way you are gonna get off is on my thigh.”

25: “she may be all lollipops and candy bars, but I bet behind closed doors she’s hand cuffs and gags.”

Pairings: SpencerXReader

Rating: M, (This is very explicit.)

Words: 4K

Warnings: NSFW!!! 18+ (Dom!Spencer, BDSM overtones, sexual conduct, fingering, bondage, etc.)

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Spencer thinks Y/N is an innocent, naive girl until a case reveals her extracurricular activities.

Spencer had been back from jail for 2 months when he first met her.

At first he didn’t think anything of her, other than the faint smell of vanilla and daisy as she walked past him in the bullpen and the bright smile that seemed to take up half her face. She was carrying files close to her chest like a schoolgirl late to class and the skirt of her white dress bellowed softly behind her as she made her way to Emily’s office.

“Who is that?” He had asked.

Luke looked up to where Spencer’s gaze was. “Oh, that’s Y/N, she's a tech analyst helping Penelope out right now. She’s sweet, you’ll like her.”

It doesn’t take Spencer long after that to decide he, in fact, does not like you. There was nothing wrong with you. Luke was right, you were sweet, almost sickeningly so. It was like you had no concept of reality. You lived in this world of all sunshine and good things despite the horror that crossed your screen daily. And while Penelope was the same, she at the very least knew how bad the world could be and chose to see the good in it. You didn’t, it was like you’d never had a single bad thing happen to you. And Spencer, who had been dealt the bad hand so many times in life hated that.

It also didn’t help that you were gorgeous too. You looked like an artist sculpted you himself to make the perfect woman. Real People weren’t supposed to look like that. Real people were supposed to have flaws and blisters. Real people were supposed to look tired so early in the morning not fully awake and smiling while handing everyone in the office a coffee. He didn’t understand how you could be real.

“Here you go, Spencer. Americano lots of sugar.” You said, placing the coffee on his desk.

“Thank you.” He mumbles.

“We have a case, by the way.” You giggle, going off to hand Luke his coffee before walking away to the conference room. Spencer was barely able to keep his eye roll at bay.

Luke sees that and laughs, clapping Spencer on the back. “Come on, kid. Play nice.”

“She’s giggling about a murder case.” Spencer grumbles before following him into the conference room.

“3 women have been murdered in Queens. Judging by the scars, they were all bound and strangled before finally being dumped in an alley.” Garcia says, as she goes through the slides, showing the crime scenes. “Police need our help finding the connection between these three women because right now, it looks like there is none.”

“I’d say.” Tara speaks up. “We have a waitress/student, a doctor, and a paralegal. All living in different areas of the city with virtually no reason to interact.”

Spencer looks down at his file, examining the picture when he notices something. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, you clear your throat.

“Umm, Emily?” You say from your seat right across from Spencer. Emily looks up inquisitively at you. “I think I know what connects them.”

“What’s that, Y/N?” Emily asks, raising a brow at her.

You clear your throat again. “Victim #2, Rebecca Belfront, has a Padlock collar necklace on in her second picture. That’s typically used to indicate she’s a submissive with a committed dominant partner. But she wasn’t wearing it when her body was found which makes me think that that relationship recently ended. That made me look at the marks on their arms. While there are some new ones from the murders, they all have faded marks around the wrist and body as well. Leads me to believe the bounding was er-... consensual. We should probably look into New York’s BDSM scene.” You close, smiling awkwardly.

Spencer looks at you in shock. He, of course, had come to the same conclusion you did and had been about to say that but he, at least, knew why he knew that. Why did you know that?

Emily hummed thoughtfully. “It’s worth looking into. Do you mind coming to NY with us? Your insight might be needed.”

You look kind of shocked at that but nod. “Of course, whatever I can do to help.” You say, softly.

“Great, Wheels up in 30.” She says, getting up, effectively ending the meet. Spencer watches you speed after her, files in hand to ask some more questions. Spencer’s walking back to his desk when Luke catches up with him.

“Y/N has a dark side. Who knew?” He says, smirking.

“Probably not.” Spencer muses. “She could’ve just known that. I mean, I just know stuff sometimes too.”

“Nah, I don’t think so. Her body language gave her away. She was flushing and stuttering sure, but she was confident in what she was saying. Almost as if, she was speaking from experience.” Luke laughs. “She may be all lollipops and candy bars here, but I bet behind closed doors, she’s handcuffs and gags.”

Spencer hums. “Maybe.” He says looking up to watch you walk back across the catwalk from Prentiss’ office. Luke was right though, your body language did give you completely away that you were talking from experience. Spencer couldn’t help but wonder just how much.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

When you arrive in New York, You head straight from the jet to the Police Station in Queens. You fiddle with your thumbs a bit, you are nervous.

“You ok?” Spencer says, from his spot in front of the bulletin board he was setting up. You were supposed to be helping him but you knew Spencer was particular about some things so you let him do it. In fact, there were a lot of things you’d let Spencer do. With you, to you, you weren’t picky. The man was gorgeous enough to make you nervous. With his lean muscles, long, fluffy hair, and large hands, he looked like something that walked right out of a wet dream of yours. Which sometimes, he was just that. You weren’t stupid though, you knew Spencer didn’t think of you that way. In fact, you didn’t think Spencer thought of you in any way. He seemed to ignore you anyway he could.

You look up from your laptop. “Oh yea, I’m fine. I’m just...nervous. I’ve never been in the field.”

“Chances are you won’t be, Emily will probably keep you in the Station if she can help it.” Spencer provides.

“I know, it’s just-- you know what I mean.” You say, Spencer nods before returning to the bulletin board. You stand to look at the map with him. “So, from what I was able to find there’s only 3 BDSM clubs in Queens but there’s only one in the middle of where the three women were found. Place called Cat’s Cradle.”

Spencer hums. “How complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.” You look up at the man, recognizing the quote.

“There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.” You say back, shrugging.

“You read Vonnegut?” He asks.

“You said that like you’re more surprised that I can read than what I read being Vonnegut.” You say, Spencer shrugs not even denying it. God, he was such a dick sometimes. A hot dick, but a dick nonetheless.

The two of you turn when you hear a knock at the door to see the lead detective coming in to check on you guys. “Just wanted to see how things were coming along. Also see if you guys needed anything?” Though he only directed the question at you with a sly smirk on his face. Men were so obvious sometimes.

“Nope, we’re fine.” You smile although you didn’t want to. “We’ve narrowed down to a couple BDSM clubs so hopefully we’ll catch our guy soon.”

“Wait, you think these girls were…” He trails off. You nod, knowing what he was thinking. “Well, it probably serves them right.”

“Excuse me?” You say.

“Listen, I know what kind of girls go into those kinds of clubs. If they want to be sexual deviants, they can’t be surprised when shit like this happens to them.” He gestures to the board.

“Actually more women are into Dominant/Submissive as well as BDSM relationships than you would think, statistically 85%.” Spencer cuts him off. “These clubs are just commonplace for them to meet like minded people just like you would do in any other club and they should be put on trial after their deaths for trusting the wrong person. If you don’t mind, we’d like to get back to work, Detective.” He says, turning back towards the board. The man nods and leaves shortly after that.

“Thank you.” You say, softly.

“What for?” Spencer asks.

“Come on, I work with profilers and I’m not stupid. I know you guys know about me so thank you for defending me just now.”

“I wasn’t defending you.” Spencer says. “He was making inappropriate comments about victims and we don’t need that outdated way of thinking working on this case. Besides…” He says, eyes flickering down to your lips and back to your eyes. “You’re not the only one with… unconventional extracurriculars.” He turns and walks out after that leaving you watching after him.

What?

------------------------------------------------------------------

After delivering the profile, you find the Unsub, a man named Ivan Parke. The only thing left to do was find the best way to snuff him out. When the team is discussing the next best course of action. It’s then Luke comes up with the idea.

“We should send Y/N undercover.” He says. “She knows the profile and knows the most about the scene.”

Emily nods. “Is that something you’re comfortable with, Y/N.”

You look up. “Oh, um yea. I’d have to find a different outfit but you have to send someone with me.” You say, everyone looks at you confused so you sigh and explain yourself. “If you send me into a club like this, in a foreign place with no Dom, the Unsub isn’t going to be my only worry. Someone’s going to have to play my dominant.”

“I’ll do it.” Spencer speaks up. Your eyes widened, you were not expecting Spencer to agree to it, you assumed you’d be stuck with Luke. Now you’re going to have to spend the night with the man you’d been crushing on since you started working with the BAU as his submissive. Like that wasn’t a dream come true.

“Great.” Emily says, dismissing everyone and handing you an expense credit card for an outfit. You take it and leave immediately, ignoring the sly look Spencer gives you.

You ended with a short, low-cut black leather dress with tank-like sleeves that showed off your curves and left very little to the imagination. As well as a clear pair of platform heels. You pulled your hair back into a sleek ponytail and you topped the look with your own personal leather choker with a large circle knob in the center. It was one of your favorite pieces to wear though you never really got a chance to wear it unless you were going to clubs, which you didn’t do as often these days. It was an expensive piece sure, but so worth it when you got to wear it. You were doing your makeup a little darker then you usually do in the bathroom when Spencer comes in.

“Is this how you typically look on the weekends?” He asks, standing behind you in the mirror. You look up to look him in the eyes through it.

“If I have the time.” You shrug.

“It’s very different. You’re very different from how I thought you were.”

“And how did you think I was, Spencer?”

“Naive...innocent.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have assumed anything about me.” You say, turning towards the man.

“Maybe you’re right… That’s an expensive piece.” He points out pointing to your choker. “Emily’s going to have fun explaining that at the next budgetary hearing.”

“I didn’t buy it today.” You explain. “It’s mine.”

Spencer hums for a moment before lifting his hand to turn your jaw, examining the piece. You can’t help the way your breath hitches at the contact. Spencer was already so close to you and now he was touching you, it was already starting to be too much. Soon, Spencer is hooking two fingers into the circle knob of your choker and he yanks it. Involuntarily, a whimper falls from your lips, prompting a smirk from the man across from you.

“Tonight’s going to be fun.” He says before leaving you in the bathroom in a state of shock.

--------------------------------------------------------

After getting your comms set up by Luke, who tried to avert his eyes from your frame as much as possible, you and Spencer walk into the Cat’s Cradle. Typically you didn’t like the club scene, but you sometimes liked to venture out when looking for a new partner. Cat’s Cradle was definitely different than the other places you had been. Sure it still had the private rooms and the main stage where a scene was happening in front of you but it was a lot more laid back than the ones you went to in DC. Spencer was really enjoying his role too. Probably hamming it up too much because he knew there was a part of you that actually wanted him to. In the end, finding Ivan Parke was easy. He took the bait almost instantly and you were arresting him just as fast.

“Great work tonight guys.” Emily says, when you reach the hotel lobby. “Jet’s leaving at 7AM so make sure to get some rest.” She says, dismissing you.

Now begged a tricky situation because you had almost forgotten you and Spencer were rooming together. As you walked back to the room together the air was thick but both of you were silent. The tension had been building between the two of you since he yanked your choker in the station bathroom. You knew it was a matter of time. The dam had to break.

“You can shower first.” Spencer says. You nod, taking off your choker and grabbing clothes before taking solace in the bathroom. You wanted Spencer and you knew you needed to expedite this. After a much needed shower, you change into your pajama shorts and tank combo. Spencer steps into the shower almost as soon as you leave it. It’s then that you think of the perfect plan. You lay on the bed and spread your legs before slipping a hand down your shorts. You tease yourself at first, rubbing your clit through your underwear while you thought about the events of the night. How Spencer had been so authoritative. How his hand slid to the small of your back and sometimes ghosted your ass as the two of you walked around the club. How he had been so close in the bathroom. The way he yanked you closer. A small moan escaped you as you slid your hand in your underwear. Soon you hear the bathroom door open. Spencer stops short, watching you before leaning on the frame.

“Were you just touching yourself?”

“Yes.” You answer. “Are you gonna to do something about it?”

“Should I? Instead of telling me what you want you decide to act like a brat and do this.”

Spencer moves closer to the bed but doesn’t do anything, just continues to watch you so you decide to give him a show. Moaning loudly as you slide a digit inside of you. Spencer looks at you with hooded eyes. You can’t help the small laugh that leaves you.

“I think you’re going to give me what I want.” You say, smirking.

“And why’s that?” He says.

“You’re already weak.” You say.

“I’m weak, pretty girl?” He asks, incredulously. Before you know it, he’s ripping your hand out of your pants and crowding in the space between your legs forcing you to sit up and look at him. “You’re in here touching yourself to the thought of me like a horny teenager and I’m the one who’s weak? Ok.” He sits back and pulls you by your hips to sit on top of his lap, your legs straddling one of his thighs. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh, ok?” He tells you, starting to move your hips. You moan, nodding your head as the friction makes its way through your core. Spencer lifts your shirt off you and smirks when his eyes land on your bare breast. He leans forward to catch your left nipple in his mouth. Your back arches as you grind harder against his thigh. Your hands fly up to start unbuttoning his shirt when he stops you.

“Did I say you could touch yet, princess?” He asks.

“N-No, sir.” You stutter.

“Then keep your hands to yourself.” He says, putting your hands back to your side. He does indulge you by taking his shirt off himself. But that doesn’t help you keep your hands to yourself. You saw the lean muscle and craved to mark it up with your nails. Your hands go up to touch him again but he stops you.

“If I have to ask you again, I’m going to tie you up, Princess. Just be good, baby.”

You were already close before but now with Spencer’s hands and mouth everywhere and constant friction on your sex it was damn near pushing you off the edge.

“I’m gonna come.” You tell him, he grips your hips tighter, lifting his leg slightly so he was only rubbing against your clit. That makes you moan out loudly.

“Go ahead, Princess. Cum for me.” He says, and that was all you needed to fall right over the edge. Your legs shake and convulse as Spencer grips your hips help you ride it out. Soon you come down panting and he’s kissing into your neck. He pulls back and grips your jaw.

“Still think I’m weak, Princess?” He asks.

You knew it was unwise. In fact, you tried to stop yourself before you did it but it was too late. You reared your hand back and slapped Spencer across the cheek. Not hard enough to be seen as anything malicious but sharp enough to throw him off, like he couldn’t believe you had done it.

“Yes I do.” You say looking him in the eyes after. Something like a switch went off because there was no other way to describe the look he gave you other than feral and fully primitive. He pushes you off him.

“Get on your hands and knees, now.” He says, menacingly. You scramble and run to get into the position. Once in, Spencer forces your knees further apart. He angrily takes his belt off his pants before fashioning them into a makeshift cuff and pulling your wrist so they’re tied behind your back, leaving you face down into the mattress. He slides your shorts and underwear off in one go. You yelp loudly when the first slap comes to your behind. When the second and third slap comes, you try to squeeze your legs together to get some form of friction but Spencer forces your knees further apart. You moan out when you feel a digit slide against your folds. You try to push back on it but Spencer holds your hips in place.

“P-Please.” you stutter.

“What do you want, Princess?” He says, sliding a second digit inside you making you cry out more.

“Please, fuck me, Spencer.” You say, and you really didn’t have to ask twice because almost as soon as you ask Spencer’s hands leave you to finish unbuckling his pants. There’s a brief moment of calm, so calm that you almost think Spencer wasn’t going to give you what you want but that calm is interrupted by Spencer slamming into, no warning. You scream out but that’s only rewarded with your head being shoved more into the mattress to muffle your cries. Spencer’s hands are pulling on your cuffs so he is almost impossibly deep inside you. You moans start to get louder and louder. Suddenly, Spencer is pulling you up so you’re both sitting up, your back against his chest. One of his hands slides to grip around your neck while the other is moving to circle your clit. The hand around your neck tilts your jaw back so you’re looking up at the man behind you.

“Fuck, you feel so good. Open your mouth, Princess.” He orders, which you do instantly sticking your tongue out. Spencer leans forward and spits into your waiting mouth before locking his mouth with yours. His hand squeezes your neck tighter as you moan into his mouth as he starts fucking you faster, his dick hitting your g-spot almost every thrust. It’s not long before you’re just babbling, not even able to string a coherent sentence together.

“You gonna come for me, Princess?” He asks. You nod, moaning loudly. At this point, you knew there was no way the person in the room next to you guys didn’t hear you. You could only hope that it wasn’t one of the team. “Go ahead for me, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock.” After that, it doesn’t take long before you’re falling over the edge, shaking all the while. Spencer fucks you through it before tightening his grip on your hips to bend you back forwards so your face is back on the mattress. He fucks you hard and fast before falling over the edge himself, moaning your name.

The two of you say nothing as he unties you. When he does, you instantly flop down on your back, breathing heavily. Spencer wordlessly gets up and goes to the bathroom. For a moment you think he’s just leaving you like this, that you were foolish to think Spencer cared anything about you but in that moment he comes back with a wet cloth and ointment. He says nothing as he wipes between your legs before tossing the towel aside. You watch him with a smirk on your face as he rubs the ointment on the red marks the red cuffs made on you.

He looks you in the eye. “What, Y/N?”

“What happened to Princess?” You say, Spencer just looks at you with a bored expression which only makes you smile more. “Now’s probably a good time for you to ask me to dinner.”

Spencer chuckles lightly at that. “You don’t want to go to dinner with me.”

“I’m almost positive I do. Why would you say that?” You ask.

Spencer looks you in the eyes at that moment. “I’m not-Y/N, I’m not like you.”

“Like me?”

“I’m not able to be cheery and smiley. I can’t float into rooms. I can’t be happy like you are, too much has happened to me. You deserve someone happy.”

“Spencer.” You say, looking him in the eyes. “You are not broken. You can be happy, it’s going to take time sure but I’m willing to be with you through that. If you want that.” You say.

Spencer nods. “Ok, Y/N.” he smiles.

“So….?”

He rolls his eyes at that. “What’re you doing next sunday?”

You smile, brightly. “Absolutely nothing.”

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#spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer x you #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #bau x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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libraford · 4 years

Text

The short version: We had a serial thief at the flower shop. She’s retired recently and I think that due to Covid she really means it this time.

The long version? hoooo boy, here we go.

This story, and others, are viewable on Tablo

There are rules and there are rules.

In dealing with shoplifting in retail, there are rules on how one engages with a thief. The handbook, if there were one, would consist of a single word.

Don't.

Don't pursue, don't interrogate, don't accuse. Let them take the merchandise, let them get away. Let them return the Cricut machine for an equivalent amount on a gift card to be exchanged once again for drugs.

Let them.

There is no handbook on how to handle Flower Thieves. Prior to working in a flower shop, I never thought that this was a problem.

Life is surprising.

I'm sure some of you have figured that out by now.

The Flower Thief is notorious, and she has a system. There are days when you simply know that she's going to be in.

"Break the heads off the flowers before you throw them away," Grandpa will say. "She's going to be here tonight, I think."

And sure enough, she would be. At 6:45, a quarter til we close- the Thief would announce her arrival. Loudly.

"Heeeeey, baaaaaaby!"

The very first time I encountered the Flower Thief, she came in through the back door.

"Oh Hiiiii, Darlin'- ain't seen your face around here: you must be NEW! I'm Wren, you know- like the bird? Well, Kyle and I have an agreement that I come and work for y'all sometimes. You should take out this trash, it stinks to high heaven. Anyways, nice talkin' to ya, see ya later."

I may only be a little bit psychic, but I've spent enough time around liars to know insincerity when I see it. Kyle, at the time, was the manager of our store and I have it on record that he's tried to throw her out of the building once or twice.

While I was taking out the trash, her pile of purchase became so tall it towered over her. I watched Clark massively undercharge her for the sake of getting her to go away.

She has a pattern.

She comes in during the design classes because she knows that when there's twenty people in the store, there's not enough people to watch her and make sure she's not stealing. "There's a class today," she asks as if it's not literally every Tuesday. "Don't worry I know you all wanna get out of here on time."

The Flower Thief announces her presence in a grand way and then makes her way to the back to grab a trash bag or an empty box and then proceeds to bury any spare parts she finds in the cooler in the trash bag, hiding them under the things that she's actually buying.

After that, she checks the garbage cans for things we might have thrown away that will last another three days and stuffs them underneath her other ill-gotten goods.

Just when you think she's finished, she'll go through her pile of flowers and say: "You know what? I don't need this eucalyptus." And she'll go back into the cooler with it, stuff it in her purse, and walk back to the register.

And when she's all done being sneaky, she asks one of us to come ring her out.

This is the part that no one wants to do. Because ringing out the Flower Thief means haggling with the Flower Thief.

"Oh baaby, you know I don't pay those prices."

"Oh baaaby, I only pay $19 for roses."

"Oh baaaaaaaaaby, those carnations were on special."

She'll talk you down to under $100 with a sob story:

"Oh baaaaby, you know I'm donating this spray to the family. It's for that woman you know- you know the one. She got herself murdered a couple nights ago? Two children and she was pregnant too! Pregnant! Can you believe it? Who murders someone with child? What's the world coming to? So I need a good discount to make sure we treat this family right because they got a looooong road ahead of them."

"Oh baaaaaaby, you know this one's for that car crash over on Cleveland Avenue? I hear he was taking care of his dying father himself, so it's such a shame for him to go first like that."

"Oh baaaaaaaaaaaaaaby, this is for that little boy that shot himself, isn't that sad?"

Thank you, Sister Mary Loquacious.

And you nod because you don't want to come off as an uncaring sociopath. And while you're nodding and adjusting the price for her sad, sad consequence and mulling over how good she is for donating to these people in their time of need, she steals some greens from the trash can and sticks them in her bag.

She hands you crisp $100 bills. You check them and she makes jokes about how she printed them this morning. They're legit. Counterfeiting isn't why she went to prison.

What she went to prison for was drug trafficking.

"Do you need some help," you ask, trying to be a good citizen.

"Oh no, I got it," she insists. "I'll make it in two trips. I'm stronger than I look!"

And don't you dare get caught looking to see what she put in the bag or she will give you one hell of a lecture.

By the time all of this has passed, the class will be over and there will two minutes left in the work day. She's spent thirty-seven minutes in the store. Your register is unbalanced because now you don't have enough small bills to balance it and only have one $100 bill to get you through tomorrow.

And that's why there are rules.

On occasion, a new person will break the rules not knowing that there's rules. One such occasion was when Clair decided to be helpful.

"You know what? I don't need this eucalyptus," Wren said.

"Oh! I'll put it back for you," Clair suggested. And before Wren could protest, it was out of Wren's hands and nowhere near her purse.

It was mentioned to Sage, who only worked for us one summer, that Wren had failed to pay for something and she immediately chased her out into the street.

Wren drives very fast.

If you cross her too many times, she'll make sure you never forget it. One day, she stomped her way in through the front door, angry.

"You ain't treated me better than a damn THIEF," screamed the Flower Thief.

Grandpa, who was helping Blue make a wedding bouquet at the time, departed from the desk. "Beg pardon?"

"A thief! You been treating me like a thief ever since they made you manager and I'm sick of it! I see you bringing in your henchmen, following me in the cooler, chasing me down the street. Treat me with some damn respect."

Words were exchanged. They were not kind. We thought we'd seen the end of her.

But she was back one week later, doing the same damn thing.

So now there are rules.

If you make something and there's an excess of flowers left over from the pack, you have to make something out of the leftovers or she'll pick through them and stuff them in her bag.

If you cannot make something out of them, you must throw them out.

If you throw them out, you must break the heads off first.

The trash cans must be emptied every night before 5:00.

We do not keep trash bags in plain sight.

Break down all empty boxes, or she will use them in place of trash bags.

Do not leave any food or drink where she can find it.

Do not leave any half-used rolls of floral tape where she can find it.

Do not let her know anything about you- lest she use it against you.

If you speak of a Thief, you summon a Thief- speak quietly, and never her name or you invite trouble.

The basic rules one makes when dealing with pests. Or fairy-folk.

There are rules and there are rules and there are rules.

If you want to keep a pest away, you make these sorts of rules. But if you want to get rid of a pest indefinitely, you have to remove their food source. And Wren's food source was her discount.

You start exercising your right to say 'no' to a customer in small ways.

She saw a bunch of carnations in the trash and said:

"Oh baby, these are still good! I'll take them off your hands for you!"

"They've been sitting without water for hours."

"They're still good!"

"They were out in the sun."

"Oh baby, I've been working with flowers for 40 years and I know that these will still be fine for a couple of days!" She picks a bunch of them out of the trash and shoves it in my face. "See, it's still stiff- it's still good!"

"Okay," I said. And before I could stop myself: "Full price."

Her eyes just about popped out of her skull. If it were just a little bit colder, I would have been able to see steam coming out of her ears.

We stared at each other for about a minute, waiting for the other to flinch. She took the bunch away from my face and threw them back into the trash. While she was in the cooler, I took the liberty of snapping the heads off of them and burying them further into the garbage.

And so began a war between the flower shop and the Flower Thief.

She came in: every single night. And each night, she got me.

Again.

"Oh no, baby! These carns are supposed to be 39 cents a stem. I can bring up the email."

"Sure." She brings up the email. "I see that they are 39 cents but... this was for Saturday."

"Yea, and I bought those carns on Saturday and you charged me full price!"

"Saturday."

"Yeah."

"You didn't buy these on Saturday. You bought them Friday."

"Well I didn't know that they'd be on sale, so I need them for that price because I didn't know they'd be on sale."

"The sales are one-day only. I can't adjust a sale from Friday to reflect Saturday's sale... on Sunday."

She made a noise that reminds me somewhat of a cement mixer.

And again.

"I got a bad banner last time, can you print me a new one?" She shows me the banner in question. It's white. The 't' and the 'h' in 'mother' ran together.

"Sure."

"Okay, I need it to say 'Beloved Mother' and I want it in pink."

"Sure."

I print it. I ring her up $5.

"Oh baaaaaaby, no, that one should be free."

"Grandpa said- banners start at $5."

"Oh, but you sold me a bad one last time."

"We haven't sold you a banner in three weeks. How long have y'all had that body sitting in your cooler?"

She grumbled, and paid.

And again.

"I swear you been workin' every night this week! You must be tired," she said, nerves plain in her voice. "When do you get a day off?"

"When the work is done."

"That ain't what I'm askin'. When's your next day off, baby?"

"I stop working when the work is done, Wren."

She narrows her eyes, which is a fun change from them bugging out of her skull like a fruit fly. "You don't ever get any days off?"

"When the work stops, I rest."

And again.

"I'll be in and out, I know y'all want to get out of here on time," she said- announcing her presence to the entire class. She piled her stuff across the register counter and Grandpa began ringing her up.

"Oh baby..."

"No. We're doing away with the discounts."

There are twenty people in the workshop for the class and Grandpa doesn't want to make a scene. She pulls her into the back, and I choose to make my instructions louder to mask the sound of them yelling.

"So you're going to take your hypericum berries and you're going to cut the stem to about ten inches-"

"How can you do this to me?"

"And you're going to slowly fill the vase with these berries to kind of set the shape of the arrangement."

"After all these years and this is how you treat me?"

"Fun fact- you might know hypericum berries as their more common name: St John's Wort! St. John's Wort has been used as a medication for depression prior to modern medicine." You see- I, too, have taken notes from the Chattering Order.

"You can't do this to me," Wren said, stamping her feet like a toddler.

"But I wouldn't recommend eating them. However, they do smell somewhat like baked brown sugar."

Stamp, stamp, stamp.

Wren threw herself into the cooler and began putting a bulk of her flowers back.

"This is robbery," I heard her say to Grandpa at the register.

"Is it now?"

And again.

She came in and immediately reached for a half-empty box of oasis bricks (the green sponge material that we use to hold flowers.) She said few words to me, few at all. She talked to Carrie about how she was going out to the country for awhile, to take care of her nephew's property. She needed to stock up. And oh- don't worry about it, she knows what she's doing. She's part of The Family.

She is in no manner of speaking, a member of The Family that owns this shop. Not even a third cousin.

I saw her beeline for a rose I'd set in the trash. I picked it up, opened my mouth, and bit the head off of it. She stood in the middle of the workshop, absolutely stunned.

Rose petals have the vague texture of arugula, by the way. Slightly sweeter, though. Tough to swallow in one go.

She ran back into the cooler and didn't talk to me.

I began taking down numbers.

27 bricks of oasis. One pack of roses. Ten calla lilies. 1/2 pack of assorted greens.

I punched the numbers in to the register. As if sensing something was amiss, she emerged from the cooler.

"$54? What do I have that's $54?"

"The oasis. They're $2 each."

"Oh no baaaaaby, they're $1."

"I can text Grandpa and ask her."

"... that won't be necessary. Why are you charging me $22.50 for roses? You know my prices by now!"

"22.50 is the price for a pack of roses."

"22.50 is everybody prices."

"Welcome to 'everybody.'"

"I ain't paid a price increase in 7 years!"

"The price of milk went up, Wren. So does everything else."

She was seeing red, I knew it. There's a vein in her forehead that pops out when she's angry and it's the same shape as the river that runs through my home town. She sized me up, as if wondering if she could take me.

I'm 256 pounds of 4H beef, and I have a knife. Try me.

"I'm gonna call Kyle on this."

"Do it." A lifetime of retail has made me immune to 'I'd like to speak to the manager.'

She grumbled and put things back. Carrie offered to watch her, I held up my hand.

"Can you do something for me on these carns? They're the last pack in there and they're lookin' kinda ratty."

"9.50."

"9.50's the regular price."

"Regular price is $14."

"No it ain't."

"Is today. You're taking our last pack and we need those for funerals."

She put them back.

She gave me a credit card. It seemed fake, but it ran. Every time I see here, she's got a different card. Did she print this one this morning, too? At least she stopped trying to sell me on Bitcoin. As you can see, it made her incredibly wealthy.

She gathered her things and left. "Guess I'm getting the rest of my flowers from KROGER!"

There are things you want to say. Like... I hope they enjoy your company just as much as we do. Or: Haven't graced them with your presence in awhile, huh? But at the time, it was better just to watch her leave with her minuscule bunch of flowers. I get a choice in where I loan my voice.

Not here.

Is it over? Nah. She'll be back for another round. But one day she'll finally retire in the way that she's always threatened to. And then? Then it can be as over as it ever will be.

It is shocking to come from a history of retail, where you're not allowed to even hint at the idea of a customer being wrong, where you have to override every single price change to get the scores up, where you have to just let them steal your things and pull the wool over your eyes...

... to flat-out telling someone 'no.'

"No."

It's such a great word.

There are rules and there are rules.

And there are thieves that the rules are made for.

And there are words like 'no.'

And all those things are magic in very human ways.

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kaunis-sielu · 3 years

Text

Fire Dogs: 4

It turns out that you didn’t break anything just deeply bruised. Steve brings you home and you feel terrible that he’s wasted his whole night on you and your drama.

“Do you wanna stop and pick up something to eat?”

“No, I’ve got dinner planned. As long as you’re okay waiting for dinner.”

“You’re supposed to take it easy.” He reminds you gently.

“Yea, it’s just Spaghetti. Easy.”

“Come on Fawn, you heard Dr. May, you have to take it easy.”

“I’m right handed, I’ll be fine to put some noodles into hot water and heat some sauce.” You argue and he sighs heavily as he slows to a stop at a stoplight.

“Can you just humor me for one night?” He asks giving you some serious puppy dog eyes. You feel that little prickle of an Alpha command but he doesn’t, like he’d promised.

“Fine. But you don’t get to pay.”

“Woah woah. Now that’s not the deal.”

“That’s the deal.” You argue and Steve glances over at you with an affectionate glare.

“Fine. Has anyone ever told you you’re bossy for an Omega?” He sighs heavily before asking, “What do you want?”

You end up picking up burgers at a little takeout place called Stan’s and eating them at home. Dinner with Steve is fun. He’s smart and charming and you enjoy spending time with him. When you’re done with dinner you grab your Stark Pad and head up to your room. You hear Steve in the shower and you manage to struggle out of your shirt and into your pajamas. You’re supposed to take some painkillers but you’ve got to be up for Sam in a few hours so you don’t.

You’re in way more pain when you wake up at 3:30. You wrap your robe around yourself and open your door. Much to your surprise both Steve and Sam are waiting outside your door.

“You owe me twenty bucks.” Steve says uncrossing one of his arms and holding an open hand out to Sam who pulls his wallet out and slams a twenty into Steve’s hand.

“Um, what?” You ask blinking at the two.

“I bet Sam that you’d be up to make him breakfast and something for Bucky before he goes to bed. Which also means that you didn’t take any pain meds.”

“I’m fine Steve.” You tell him trying to skirt past him.

“Uh, uh, uh Honey.” He pauses you with an arm in front of you, “I know you asked me not to but I wanna know why you need to do this? I just want what’s best for you.” You know he’s talking about not Alpha commanding you, part of it is a simple answer, the other part, not so much.

“Steve, I can’t just not do anything. Okay? I can’t.” You attempt to reason with him, “You guys are out there laying down your lives to help protect my home. I need to do something!” He studies you silently for a moment, just long enough where you’re almost uncomfortable.

“Okay Omega, but the second it’s too much take a break okay? And maybe take half of one of the pills Dr. May gave you. Just to help with the swelling.” He called you Omega again, not that you can lie about it now that Grant had called you an Omega bitch right in front of him. When Steve calls you Omega it’s, nice.

“Will you cut them in half for me before you go? I don’t have much range of motion in my left arm yet.” You ask softly, you have this weird feeling he might like to help take care of you as much as you like helping care for him, Sam and Bucky.

“Yea, I’ll cut one now and do the rest before I head out. If you’re too tired to get up with me please don’t okay?” You nod then follow him down the stairs.

Sam’s breakfast, and Bucky’s dinner, is a little more difficult with your aching body but if Steve notices any of your wincing he thankfully doesn’t say anything. You take the half pill that he offers then with Cooper on your heels trudge back upstairs. It takes you longer to get comfortable this time, you’re still awake when Steve and Bucky come to bed. You hear them talking quietly, you can’t really make out what they’re saying but Steve sounds annoyed. You can feel his irritation through the door and you’re worried you’ve done something. Hopefully you didn’t get him into any trouble with the other firefighters for leaving early.

You end up falling into a half sleep as the sun rises in the sky. You still hear everything going on around you but you can’t react, it’s a terrible way to sleep. You’re pretty sure you hear Steve open the door to check on you at some point, his scent invading the room when he cracks the door open. You relax further and finally fall into a restful sleep.

You wake up around one, Cooper is still laying at your feet when you stretch but he hops down and makes his way to the door with a wagging tail. You groan softly as you sit up, then make your way slowly to the door. You let Cooper out then struggle into your robe your arm aching. You make your way down to the kitchen to feed Cooper and find your bottle of pills full of halves. It makes you smile to see that Steve had taken the time to cut them, you take two of the halves, you’re not going anywhere today so you don’t need to be especially awake.

You do some drawing for your new book, it’s almost done and you couldn’t be more excited. Your deadline is in three days and with only two pages left to draw you’re feeling pretty good about everything. You’ve even decided what your next book is gonna be about, the therapy dogs that are coming in for the firefighters. You won’t use Cooper or any of the other dogs real names but you’re going to share the story.

You must fall asleep on the couch, when you wake Sam is in the kitchen humming away as he cooks. A warm ice pack falls off of your shoulder as you sit up, you grab it then move slowly to your feet. When you wander into the kitchen Sam gives you a broad smile,

“Mornin’ sleeping beauty. How do you feel?”

“Sore. Do you want me to take over?”

“Nah, Fawn. Buck said you didn’t even move when he let Cooper out and left. He did make sure you were breathing and put the ice on your shoulder. He said he wants to check it if you’re okay with that tomorrow before he leaves.”

“It’s just a deep bruise.”

“Yes but our Alpha told us to take care of you so we will.”

“Your Alpha? But you’re all Alphas?”

“Steve is a True Alpha.” Sam explains, “I thought he’d told you.”

“No, so he’s like, the leader of your pack?”

“Exactly.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“He’s the boss.” Sam says with a shrug, “you like gumbo?”

“Can he Alpha command anyone?”

“Yea, but he wouldn’t. Not without good reason.” You’re almost positive that Steve must’ve Alpha commanded Grant.

“But he can.”

“Yes, why?”

“I think he did.”

“Who?”

“I mean, other than me. I think he Alpha commanded one of the doctors at the ER.” When Sam glances at you over his shoulder you look down at the warm ice pack you’re still holding. “Grant Ward, he’s my ex. He wanted to mate me but I just couldn’t, and he’s been making my life hard ever since.”

“You’re not a Beta are you.” Sam says softly and you look up at him in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“Steve has been off, like he’s protecting an Omega but Bucky and I couldn’t figure it out because you smell like a Beta.”

“Please don’t say anything. If the town finds out I’m going to have every stupid Alpha at my door.”

“Not with Steve here you won’t.”

“You’re not going to be here forever. When you leave they’ll be all over me.” You tell him hurrying to his side, “Please don’t say anything!”

“I won’t, none of us will.” He promises and you give his arm an appreciative squeeze.

“Thanks Sam. And I do like Gumbo, thank you for cooking.”

“Of course Fawn. If you wanna keep working on your book I can let you know when the food is done.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yup.” So you do as he says and get back to work on your book. You’re on the last page when you hear him call for you.

“Thank you again for cooking. It smells amazing.”

“If I let Carol cook we’d both die.”

“She’s not much of a cook?”

“No, not at all.” He admits with a laugh, “I love the woman but she can’t cook.”

“Is it hard being in an Alpha-Alpha pair?”

“I don’t think so, but it’s definitely a choice we make to make it work.”

“Sorry, that was a very personal question.”

“I don’t mind, I’d imagine things are pretty traditional here.” You nod, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Why aren’t you mated?”

“I’ve dated but after the shit with Grant I think I’m just scared. All the Alphas around here want an Omega and they think I’m a Beta so they don’t really look my way.”

“Are you just waiting for an Alpha?”

“No, if I met the right Beta that would be fine too.”

“Which of us smells best?”

“Nope,” you tell him with a laugh, “I’m not going there.”

“I had to try.” He tells you with a grin of his own.

“All I’ll say is that none of you smell bad. All comforting.”

“Good.” Sam says with a nod and you finish the meal in comfortable conversation. You shoo him out of the kitchen when you’re both done. Insisting that he go to bed so he’s rested for his morning shift. You take another half of a pain pill then start doing the dishes. You finish your last drawing then send everything to your publisher so they can check it over. By the time that’s done it’s nearly ten and Steve should be home soon.

You get off the couch and follow Cooper to the back door. When you open it Coop doesn’t move, just stares out into the darkness.

“In or out Coop.” You tell him and he ambles out into the yard. You close the door and head back to the kitchen to grab a bowl of Gumbo to start heating for Steve. You go back to the back door and when you open it you find Cooper isn’t alone in the backyard.

“Hi Omega.”

“What.” You gasp as Brock moves closer to your house. “Cooper!”

“I think he got out.”

“What? Cooper!” You call shutting the door in Brock’s face you lock it and hurry into the living room. The front door opens and Steve comes in, Cooper trailing behind him. “Oh, oh thank god. Oh Steve thank you.”

“He was hanging out in the front. How did he get out?”

“I don’t know.” Steve tenses, “Brock is out back. He apparently knows I’m an Omega.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He goes to go past you and upstairs when you catch his wrist with your right hand.

“No! Please make him go away. I don’t know how he found out I was an Omega but he did. I don’t want him here Steve.”

“You want him gone?”

“Please Alpha.” You whisper and Steve nods before going to the back of the house.

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multi-fandom-imagine · 2 years

Text

A/n: this is some good shit! I hope you like it.

It was jarring to see you again, Jason knew his couldn’t break protocol but it was painful seeing you again. Swallowing thickly he watched as you passed him. You only gave him one glance before you started your conversation back up with Claire.

“Shit.”

Glancing over at Nick, the man rose his brows. “Not a word Nicky.”

“Alright….yea….won’t say a thing bud.”

“Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!.” This was not supposed to happen, how did this go do south? Squeezing your eyes shut you scramble away from the advancing creature, your back hitting the wall of the cavern. You didn’t want to die, god you should have grabbed any weapon. You could feel your body shaking as your fingers clutched your wedding ring that hung around your neck.

“I’m….im sorry Jason.”

Waiting for the claw to come down only for the creature to let out a shriek. Opening your eyes you watched as Jason yanked a large pole out of the creature. “Jason.”

“Hey darlin.”

It felt right seeing Jason again , seeing his smile. Feeling tears prick the corner of your eyes you pushed off the ground jumping at the man, your arms wrapping tightly around his neck. “Thank you.”

Jason let a low chuckle as he wrapped his arms around your waist keeping you close, his nose buried against your neck. “Anything for you darlin.”

Biting your lip, you slowly pulled back. Lowering your eyes you felt the man grasp the chain the held the ring. “You….still wear it.”

You could hear his voice crack, hearing him made you want to break down. You hated seeing this, the man that was usually so strong just looking so broken. “Of…of course I do Jason…what.” Blinking back your own tears you weren’t expecting to cry. “Well…w-what about you? Do you?”

Jason held up his hand and indeed you could see the ring on his finger. While his hand may have been covered in dirt but you could still see the silver band.

“Oh Jason.”

You felt a swirl of emotions hit you, you wanted to kiss the man but the screeching of the creatures stopped you.

“Come on….let’s go find the others.”

You couldn’t believe you were alive, after all that crap you came out alive.

After you all managed to escape that hell hole then survived the creatures attacking the hut you were actually getting rescued.

Turning to Salim, you gave the man a smile pulling him in for a hug. “Good luck Salim, and tell your son I said hi.”

Chuckling Salim nodded his head then he turned to Jason shaking the man’s hand. “Good luck you too…and do not let this one go Jason.”

Jason’s eyes went wide then he coughed into his hand, the man blushing as Salim walked off towards his home. Shaking his head you turned too sweet the helicopter in the distances as he stepped closer to you, his hand grasping yours gently.

“So y/n…I know this is asking a lot but…what do you say of giving us another chance?”

Giving him a smile, you placed your hands on his cheeks pulling him in for a kiss. “I’d love yo Jason…I was stupid for running away.” Resting your head on his chest you felt the man running his fingers down your back.

“I love you y/n.”

“I love you too.”

#drabbles #drabble #request #requests #the dark pictures house of ashes #house of ashes jason #house of ashes jason kolchek #house of ashes #the dark pictures #the dark pictures anthology #the dark pictures x reader #dark pictures x reader #dark pictures anthology #jason kolchek x reader #jason x reader

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

Text

Sorry For What?

Happy Lowman x F!Reader

Request from Anon: So if I may request one with happy; slightly angsty, him and reader are fighting, he’s getting turned on, she’s getting angry and he thinks there’s gonna be hate/ fight sex but she’s not having it and pushes him away. Tells him sex won’t solve things this time and banishes him to the couch. Happy sulking, apologizing and fluff ending. 😊

Warnings: language, angst, Happy being stubborn and emotionally illiterate

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Happy thinking he can use sex to get out of an argument is totally a thing lmao

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“That’s not my fault!” you hated yelling but your patience had long since run out, “It’s not my fucking job to be there at your every beck and call.”

Happy stepped in closer to you, his voice wasn’t loud but his tone was sharp enough to cut you like a knife, “You’re supposed to be my old lady. You get what that means? Means you’re supposed to fuckin—”

“Stop!” you cut him off, shaking your head, “Don’t give me that shit. I’m not your servant, I’m not your maid, I’m not your fucking mother. I’m my own person,” you pressed your hand to his chest, “I choose to share my life with you. As a partner. I might be your old lady but you don’t fucking own me, Happy.”

“If you don’t wanna be there, then why are we doing this?” he motioned back and forth between the two of you.

You leaned back, eyes narrowing, “Is that what you got from what I just said?” you shook your head, “Look. I know how the other guys speak to and treat their women. And if they’re all alright with that then…fine. But that’s not me. And you knew that from the jump. I have my own shit going on and I can’t just sit at home all the time and wait for you to need something from me so I can feel like I have a fucking sense of purpose. You’re an important part of my life, Hap, but you’re not the whole thing. Same way I’m not yours.”

“I needed you.”

“And I couldn’t make it!” you snapped, “And I know that sucks. But don’t pretend that the roles haven’t ever been reversed. Why do you get a fucking pass on that, huh?”

He erased what little distance was left between the two of you. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body the angrier he got. His eyes bore into yours, “Because if I step away someone gets fucking shot.”

You nodded, “And that’s the life that you chose. It’s not a blanket excuse for every time you fuck up, though.”

“Why do you stick around then?”

“Because I love you!” you fought the urge to shove him in the chest, “Even when you’re being an asshole!”

You took a breath, trying to get yourself together. You weren’t used to yelling so much. It wasn’t often that you were this pissed off—your fights with Happy were usually small and over quickly. But this time it hit the wrong nerve with you and you needed to allow your blood to boil for a little bit. Sometimes he forgot that you had a temper too—yours just didn’t make you kill people.

Happy reached forward to cup your face in his hand, his other gripping onto your hip to pull you closer. He was about to lean in and kiss you but you pushed him away, “Stop.” You saw the confused look on his face and shook your head, “Sex is not on the table for you right now. This argument isn’t over.”

“Yea, I was trying to end it.”

You laughed, unable to do much else. You looked up at him, “Have you heard anything that I’ve fucking said, Happy?” the silence that followed spoke volumes, “You’re fucking unbelievable sometimes!”

“I never said you had to be done being mad at me.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Trust me. You don’t want me anywhere near your dick right now. Won’t end well for you.”

You turned and went to walk away but he reached forward and grabbed your arm, pulling you back towards him. You twisted your arm hard to get it out of his grasp and the look of shock on his face was priceless. He really thought that he was getting out of this argument with you with sex. Not that that hadn’t been an effective tactic in the past, but you were too pissed for that to be a viable solution now.

“And for that you can sleep on the fucking couch tonight,” you snapped.

“Y/N…” there was a hint of warning in his voice.

You didn’t say anything in response. Instead, you opted to walk away towards your shared bedroom, slamming the door behind you to really drive the point home. It only took a few moments for you to be able to hear the sound of the television filling the house. Happy might’ve been stubborn but at least he knew well enough to give you some time to cool off before he came and tried to talk to you again. Hopefully this time around he’d realize he was actually going to have to talk.

You’d lost track of how long you had been laid up in bed. You had your headphones in, a mellow playlist on while you read your book. Your anger had mostly subsided for the time being, allowing you to focus on something other than the fact that you had been this close to telling Happy he could sleep at the clubhouse for the night.

There was a faint noise that was coming in over the music you were listening to. You took one headphone out and realized it was the sound of Happy knocking on the bedroom door. You sighed as you set your phone and book off to the side.

“Yea?”

He slowly opened the door and poked his head inside. His expression was neutral, like it almost always was, “I don’t wanna sleep on the couch.”

You arched one eyebrow, “Tough shit.”

He walked completely into the room, “C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“Like what? I’m allowed to be mad at you, Happy.”

“I don’t want you to be.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “I am.”

There were a few beats of silence before he finally spoke up again, clearly trying to choose his words carefully, “I’m sorry.”

You had to admit that you were impressed. Blatant apologies like that were never his strong suit. Still, you pressed him for more, “For?”

“For making you mad.”

You chuckled—it wasn’t an inaccurate apology. As much as you wanted to stay mad you found yourself smiling a little bit, “You really don’t wanna sleep on the couch, huh?”

He shook his head, “No.”

You sighed but gestured for him to come closer. When he reached the side of your bed you motioned for him to stop before getting in, “No more trying to use sex to get out of tough conversations, Hap,” you saw the disbelieving look on his face, “I’m serious!”

“What’s considered tough?”

You laughed, resting your head back against the headboard, “If me being pissed off was put to a scale of one to ten, if I’m above a…five? No using sex to get out of conversations.”

“Five?”

“Listen, I was easily at least at a seven tonight. You’re lucky you came away unscathed.”

“Do I get to sleep in here with you tonight?”

“I’m still mad. You don’t get to just talk to me like that. That’s not what we do here,” you gestured between the two of you.

He wasn’t always the best at expressing himself verbally, but you could see it in his eyes that he knew that he struck a very raw nerve with you. “I’m sorry. I’ll…I’ll do better.”

You nodded, “Good,” only then did you pat the spot on the bed next to you, “Come on, then. Get in here and stop looking at me with those sad angry eyes.”

He let a smile cross his face for a moment as he stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed beside you. He shimmied down and let his face come level with yours. You reached out, gently running your fingertips along the stubble that coated his face. You could tell from the tension in his body that he was fighting the urge to reach out and touch you.

You let out a chuckle at his hesitancy, “Does Happy Lowman want to…cuddle?”

“Shut up.”

Your chuckle shifted into a genuine laugh, “Are you nervous to cuddle with me?”

“You said—”

“I know,” you patted his chest lightly, “I know. Come here,” you rested your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him close to you, pressing a light kiss to his lips, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Even when I’m mad at you.”

The remark got him to smile. He rested his forehead against yours and let his arms snake around your waist. Heat bled over from his skin into yours and you felt yourself melting into him despite the fact that you had been ready to kick him out not too long before.

“So you’re set on five?” he mumbled.

You laughed, nodding, “Yea. Don’t push your luck about it.”

He chuckled, kissing your forehead, “Fine.”

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #happy lowman #happy lowman x reader #happy lowman x you #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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