#but I don’t want or need bio kids I’ll end up getting a hysterectomy anyways

[buysomecheese]

Preventing myself from freaking tf out by remembering that even my hormones don’t want to be in my body even my body is trying to prove that it’s Wrong and it’s funny that everything agrees with me except my mom and the government

#boyfriend I’m ok I promise lol #context for my dear friends here on Tumblr I got diagnosed (?) with a complex ovarian cyst today #it hurts and I’m upset about it because it’s Just Another Reminder that this body is female!!! #I used to say ‘yea it may not be the body I’m supposed to have but at least it works just fine’ #no I have chronic issues with synthesizing hormones or something #like this body knows the hormones and shit are wrong and keeps rejecting it but that doesn’t Help any #and being on testosterone will actually probably be very helpful to my literal health y’know #because otherwise I’d have to be on bc my whole life to prevent unnecessary pain and shit #and I’ve already lived that it caused Other issues lmao (irregular menstruation even when on the pill blood clot risk No period for >6- #-months sometimes etc.) so testosterone will. be very healthy for me to be on once I get there. #but before I start now I have to figure out so many Things and my hormone levels will have to be So totally tested #which was gonna be needed anyways it’s just gonna be annoying #and I would be so ok with just having a hysterectomy (partial or complete) and taking gahrt being done with it #but NO no of course not. never would it be that easy. my MOM- #it’s fine like of course she doesn’t want her 18 year old unmarried childless daughter to have a hysterectomy that makes sense #doctors would agree with her and they’d be Not Incorrect #but I don’t want or need bio kids I’ll end up getting a hysterectomy anyways #but I had to explain Every Little Bit of the surgeries used for ovarian cysts they’re all so easy (like laproscopies and such) #it’s just tedious that she doesn’t know how to do research so it’s All on me to explain it but she also thinks I’m an idiot #like girl pick a struggle #either listen to me or don’t make me do your research #I’m gonna explode I’m fine. I’m gonna take a shower and then write an essay and apply to beta-reading jobs and go to sleep #speaking of. if anyone knows anyone who’s hiring beta-readers uhh give them my tumblr let them Hime #*hmu #I would love to be paid extra for reading and commenting on books lmao #especially if I’m gonna be paying my own hrt without my insurance (which is paid by my mom) then. well. #my $12.50 an hour for 8-12 hours a week job isn’t gonna cut it