#I tried to focus on the emotional part but please come tell me if this goes over the line in any way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

auroraborealyss · 2 years

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𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐮𝐬' 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐈𝐈.

⊹ pairing: morpheus x reader

⊹ summary: the much awaited, i-went-to-hell-for-inspiration, morpheus' love languages part 2: nsfw version. how he expresses his love languages when fucking you

⊹ tags: nsfw, morpheus is an adoring, reverent, woman-worshipping Endless who's always on his knees, the king of dreams is a giver

⊹ warnings: explicit language, explicit content (obviously), minors stay back (not that ever stopped me. if you are a minor, just know that sex might not be like this and do more research)

⊹ word count: 3027

⊹ previous part: morpheus' love languages part i.

⊹ now playing: take me to church by hozier

words of affirmation though he isn't the most vocal as an Endless, he does become vocal as a lover. or, specifically, he wants you to be. remember when i said he likes it when you talk to him? this applies here. (of course, by the time he's done with you, you won't be able to form words. but he'll accept desperate mewls of his name.)

call him by his name

not dream, but morpheus

gasp, groan, grunt, scream, whimper, murmur — every adjective of ‘said’ — say it in that way. he loves when you say his name and he the different ways you say it is akin to music. and if you whisper it right in his ear, his name hot against him so he can feel your desperation, he might just give you what you want and fuck you harder and faster

you tried to hold your moans back once

biggest mistake of your life

it doesn’t matter if you were only trying to hold back because you were in the library and mervyn, lucienne, and matthew were just three shelves down having a very serious meeting

though normally private in pda, perhaps that day morpheus was too frustration in being king and just wanted to be your lover. only a king had to worry about looking good in front of others. as your lover, all he had to worry about was pleasing you, and hearing the sounds you make was his signal that he was doing well

you thought that the sound of the shelves being rocked, your heavy breathing, and a book falling every now and then was telling enough what you were doing, and yes, you were a bit embarrassed to be found in such a compromising position with your skirt bunched up to your waist, one leg hooked around morpheus, and your head tilted to the sky as he attacked your neck

so when you bit down on your lip and slapped a hand over your mouth to hide your moans?

he is insulted (and you know how petty he gets) and fucks you even harder and faster than before

hoists both of your legs around his waist so he’s even closer and hits a spot in you that has you moaning obscenely and seeing stars. there’s no use hiding or explaining that away, but you don’t even think of the others anymore. all you can focus on is how he slams repeatedly into you again and again, one had rubbing furious circles on your clit, whispering orders in your ear to never deprive him of your sounds ever again

that as his lover, he owns every part of you (he definitely owns me), including those delicious sounds he purposefully and rightfully earns

and when you start making those sounds again, he is so fucking pleased with himself that he gets even harder

your hand falls from your mouth on its own and finds his hair, tugging on it, harder and harder as you reach your peak and he follows shortly after when you clench around him—all done with a loud cry of his name from you and your name coming out as a pleading grunt from him

when the two of you finally catch your breath, you peek around the shelves and find them gone

morpheus smirks at you before dragging you to the table for part two since “they’re not here anyway.”

always asks for consent

no matter how caught up he is in his emotions or pleasure, always asks you if you’re doing alright and if he’s doing alright touching your body

this man has a praise kink. tell him he’s doing well

tell him he’s fucking you so good as tears run down your cheeks and he’ll all but cum in you in that moment

tell him you were made for him as he bottoms out in you, and he’ll flip you over to your stomach and have his way and ruin you, leaving you a rambling mess who’s only coherent thought is his name

“you can take a little bit more of me, can’t you?” he whispers against your ear as you bite your lip to hold back your whimpers as he pushes inch by inch further, deeper, closer, into you. “you’ll do that for me?”

“you’re gonna make me cum” > “i’m going to cum”

he’ll make you squirt in thanks for reminding him that you’re orgasm is a product of his hard work

did you see how he pleaded with calliope to let him help her? imagine him begging to let him make you feel good

"i can make you feel so good, my love," he whispers as he puts one nipple in his mouth, suck and bite it gently, tugging on it, before releasing it and going to the other one. "let me?"

praise talk is his dirty talk. more into overstimulation and praise rather than edging and degradation cause he’s too in love with you to ever say those things or have you think, even for a second, that you are anything less than too good for him

type of person to say “i love you” as he fucks you

at the most intense moments, like when he’s about to orgasm, he mindlessly rambles out pleads for you to always stay with him and he needs you and you’re the only thing he needs (say less)

so tell him you need him. tell him only he can make you feel this good. because he’s definitely a giver, and the best compliment you can give a giver is to thank them for their service and tell them they’re doing a good job

physical touch this is an Endless who falls hard and intensely in love, as we see with his past lovers. it stands to reason that he'd fuck the same way. he makes sure that he is touching every inch of your body and you are touching every inch of him

has a thing for walls

likes to fuck you against them. either your back to it with your legs wrapped around his waist, or the side of your face pressed against it with your hands on either side as he takes you from behind

he will also eat you out with your back against a wall. makes it his personal mission to make your legs woozy enough that you literally collapse and he has to hold you up or you’re falling on the ground

overstimulation

worships your body

kissed every inch of your body once

on the days that you don’t feel the most confident, he’ll whisper his gratitude towards those parts against your skin until you believe him

is still a sucker for eye contact

looks up through his lashes as he eats you out

looks down at you as he fucks into you

but just because he wants to be gentle and passionate with you, doesn’t mean you can’t be rough with him. in fact, he welcomes it

tug his hair hard as he eats you out and you’ll hear the most guttural groan which you’ll feel vibrate in your cunt

dig your nails down his back and his hips will snap against yours in a speed that reminds you your lover is not a man, but an Endless

suck and bite his neck and enjoy watching him gasp and tighten his grip against your hips, enough to leave his handprint on your skin

however, there is one time you can elicit some roughness from him, and that’s when you ride him

you’ve ridden him on his throne

it was your idea the first time, and his idea every time after

legs on either side, his arms wrapped desperately against your waist as you slam down onto him and he slams up against you

he grabs a fistful of your hair and tugs your head backwards (see gif as example), exposing the column of your neck which he can mark and litter with kisses and bites

a very passionate lovemaker and puts emotions other than lust into it. when you two have sex, he doesn’t just do it to get rid of frustration or because he feels lust for you, but because he loves you enough to want to share this other part of him that so few get

is the type to link your hands together while he slides in and out

presses his forehead against yours when on top of you. he expects you to do the same when you’re on top

if he’s not waiting at your cunt with an open mouth as you orgasm, then he’s kissing you, as if to swallow the sounds of pleasure you make and further drowning in you

can unclasp your bra with one hand

pulls your underwear down with his teeth

bites on thighs

and neck

and chest

i’m not saying this man cries during sex (not that there’s anything wrong with that). but he does constantly have glassy/teary eyes during the show, so don’t be surprised if he gets a bit overwhelmed with his feelings for you and shed a tear or two

just kiss it away

acts of service he's always worshipped you before his capture, but after, he turns into a sinner looking for absolution from the only higher being he'd beg from. and the first step to absolution is looking for it on his knees

the first time you have sex after you reunite, he begs for forgiveness for being gone from you so long in his throne room

sits you on his throne and sinks to his knees before you

doesn’t even bother locking the door because he has no shame in anyone seeing him beg for absolution to you

and he doesn’t hold back from it either, alright? this Endless is making the most obscene noises as he loudly slurps and groans at the taste of you and moans at the sounds of you and ruts against his throne at the feeling of you, you, you

the first time you cum, he doesn’t stop and keeps fucking you with his tongue until he triggers a second one less than a minute later

he’ll add a finger soon enough

crooks it at just the right spot that it presses against the spongy part of you that makes your back arch off the throne and cum for the third time. at this point, your cum has started to drip off his throne, and he thinks about adding it as a design to his chair (you slap him on the back of his head as a no)

inserts another finger and starts pumping it in and out, in and out, even doing a scissor motion every now and then. you come the fourth time

the fifth time, he does all that plus play with your clit with his tongue. flicks at it, sucks on it, does everything you can possibly imagine be done with a tongue and two fingers until you squirt

and he still drinks it all. he takes those two fingers and uses it to scoop up all your cum and drinks it all

he always swallows whatever he’s able to draw out of you and whatever you’re willing to give him

and don't forget to sit on his face

he'd be more than happy to die underneath you, smothered by your thighs and cunt

if you try to do hold back and hover over his face, he'll ask you first if you like to squat over chairs rather than sit on them, before grabbing your things and pulling you down and not releasing you until he's done

if it isn’t clear yet, this man is a giver. gets genuine pleasure when he is the one to give you pleasure and can probably cum just from seeing you orgasm from his ministrations (he has and has no shame in it)

it might be how his possessiveness shows. knowing that only he can give you orgasms that intense is something he prides himself on

probably why he doesn’t mind when others look at you. all he’s looking at is your reactions, and you never show interest. you never give them the looks or sounds you make with him, and that’s enough that he just sits back, smirks, and pities the poor person who tried to hit on you

quality time as kim namjoon says in all night: "we keep all the party in this room all night. we don't wanna put it on the brake, hold tight."

the first time you reunite, he eats you out for hours

only stops because your body literally cannot go any longer and you might pass out (he debates whether he wants you to but lets you rest)

but the first time he fucks you, he doesn’t stop until you’re a whimpering, drooling mess who’s only thought is morpheus

and you do pass out

he’s there when you come to, and he starts again

morpheus rarely does quickies. he’s too intense and long-term for that. he likes to take his time to worship you and he doesn’t want to end because he ran out of time or he has an appointment with someone else. when he’s with you, you’re all he’s thinking about

however, he does like to take his time teasing you

and by that, i mean he can give you little teasing touches all day to get you worked up

hand on your upper thigh when eating with others

presses his front against your back as he reaches for something in the cabinet

might even touch you through your underwear without giving you too much—just to keep you wanting and waiting

he can last a pretty long time, and sessions with him usually involve you cumming so many times that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to cum again (you will. he’ll show you)

always engages foreplay. involves a heavy make out session coupled with groping that leads you to being wet enough that he can just slip inside you

likes to fuck you where its comfortable for you—bed, a couch (walls are his guilty pleasure, though)

will fuck you anywhere in the dreaming, though, cause it’s all him

might even be more intense for him since he can feel whatever surface he’s fucking you on and how hard he’s fucking you or how tight and desperate you’re holding on to the edge of that table

morning sex isn't as common since that's when you wake up from the dreaming

night is definitely prime time for sex

you know you're in for a long time when you have sex before you're even in the dreaming. when that happens, you better hold on, since you'll wake up more exhausted than before you slept

gift giving could be into toys, but he has to be the one who made it and he has to be the one using it on you. but why would you need toys anyway when you can have his cock

might be offended if you think he needs to use a toy to get to orgasm, as it suggests that he’s not enough

and if you say you want a toy just for the times he’s busy, he’ll tell you that he’s never too busy to give you an orgasm and proves it to you in that point

you’ll have to tell him that you can’t take enough if you want him to stop

rather, he uses toys to overstimulate

vibrator on clit while his tongue searches deeper in your fold or vice versa

the gift he does like to give you is lingerie

he gives you an assortment of different colours in different materials

his favourite is whatever makes you feel the most confident

gives you lingerie that is meant to be ripped off you

when he rips a set of lingerie that you actually really liked, he’ll apologize with kisses and promises that he’ll make you more before fucking you senseless

buys you lingerie from la perla. when you wear it to sleep and you arrive in the dreaming in it, he preens in delight

sometimes, he’ll give you lingerie from the dreaming while you’re in the dreaming. that’s completely under his control, and he can make it disappear in an instant

speaking of giving you toys in the dreaming, if he makes it, that he can get behind cause he has absolute control over it. his finger becomes the remote

that little underwear he gives you? with no warning, starts to fucking vibrate during dinner with lucienne. doesn’t ease up until you get up, flushed and with wobbly knees, and run to the hallway where you cum with a poorly concealed moan

when you return to the table, he looks to you with a knowing smirk. thankfully, lucienne remains unaware (or at least has the courtesy of pretending to be)

in the waking world, you like to wear his clothes after you wake up. in return, he takes your underwear

when you fuck in the dreaming, you wake up drenched and with a wet spot on your blanket. he sends you a new blanket as an unfelt apology which he’ll ruin the next night anyway

back to his greatest gift to you being his cock

i see him longer than wider (but not long enough to hurt you. 27-inch dick fanfic writers, stay back). you know, keeping in theme with his whole lean yet lanky physique

might be long enough that you can’t deepthroat him completely, though he appreciates the attempt

but the one time you steel yourself and manage to take him in all whole

nearly cums in your mouth immediately

wouldn’t expect you to do that all the time, of course. but on the special occasion that you want to put the focus on him, that’s the way to go

the way to morpheus’ heart is not through his heart, but through swallowing

all in all, this Endless is guaranteed to find his pleasure in yours, so make sure to tell him that he's doing well, keep your moans loud and uncontrolled, and he'll fuck you out of this universe

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: 𝗂𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗆𝗌 𝗆𝗒 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗆, 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗂𝗍 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾 — 𝗎𝗇𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗉𝗁𝖾𝗎𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽. 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗄𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝖺𝗋, 𝖿𝖺𝗋 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗆𝖾.

𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗆𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝖿𝗎𝗅𝗅-𝗈𝗇 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍-𝗍𝗒𝗉𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍, 𝗌𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗅𝖾 (𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗉𝗁𝖾𝗎𝗌). 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖺𝗌𝗄 𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂 𝗀𝗈𝗍 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗉𝗈 𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌. 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗉𝗁𝖾𝗎𝗌 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀.

╰┈➤ 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘧!

𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩: @aurorarevenclaw1927

#the sandman imagine #morpheus imagine #morpheus x reader #dream imagine #dream x reader #dream of the endless x reader #sandman fanfiction #dream fanfiction #sandman imagine #sandman headcanons #morpheus headcanons #the sandman #morpheus smut #dream smut #morpheus love languages #i'm not going to hell because i'm already here and wrote it in hell #written in hell

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hawkinsuniversity · 2 years

Text

𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

word count : 2.4k

pairing : steve harrington x reader x eddie munson

warnings : 18+ heavy smut, dark!steve, soft!eddie, crybaby!reader, predatory kink, oral (male and female receiving), face slapping, size kink, dirty talk, praise, degradation, threesome, spanking, swearing, daddy kink, dumbification, bimbofication, breeding kink (steve), and kinda exhibitionism at the end

minors please dni (do not interact!), due to 18+ content.

part two

•••

steve harrington could have sworn your skirts were getting shorter and shorter as the days went on.

and eddie munson agreed.

the two boys watched closely as you pranced around the henderson house in nothing but a lacy bralette and the shortest pink skirt either of them had ever seen.

"do you think she's doing it on purpose?" eddie leaned over and whispered to steve as the two of them watched you reach for a glass that had inconveniently been placed on one of the top shelves.

"of course she's doing it on purpose!" steve scoffed. "no way this whole show she's putting on is accidental." he remarked while leaning down slightly to get a clear view of your gorgeous pink panties.

as you turned around you began to make your way back into the living room where the two teenagers were sitting with your younger brother and all of their friends.

"here." you mumbled quietly while handing dustin the large glass of orange juice that he had requested a few minutes prior.

"thanks y/n!" he exclaimed while beaming up at you with a toothy grin.

"yea of course." you responded while smiling at the small group of friends before swiftly making your way towards the upstairs staircase.

to tell the truth you did enjoy all of the attention you were getting from the two older boys in dustin’s friend group. it made you feel somewhat special.

the first time they had ever come over you weren't aware of your brothers unexpected guests. so when you walked downstairs in nothing but a towel what else could they do but gawk?

ever since that day you had made it your absolute goal to have them fawning over you every time they came over.

you weren't quite sure what you were trying to accomplish with this little performance of yours .. but you did know that it was fun to play with their emotions.

•••

"hey henderson? i really gotta use the bathroom. can i go upstairs?" steve asked dustin.

"mhm hmm" dustin replied sheepishly as he tried to focus on the map he had been studying for the past thirty minutes.

steve stood up from the couch and slowly made his way towards the staircase before he felt a warm hand that had been covered in metal rings grab onto his wrist.

"where do you think you're going?" eddie interrogated.

“…the bathroom?" steve responded questionably.

"cut the crap harrington. i know you're only going up there to see y/n." eddie scolded.

"so what if i am?" steve viciously spat back.”you're telling me that if you had the opportunity to sleep with y/n you wouldn't take it?”

"i-i-well." eddie stuttered.

"exactly." the harrington boy responded bluntly before starting to make his way up the carpeted staircase.

suddenly he turned around once more to face eddie and snapped. "well are you coming or not?" the harsh tone in his voice revealing his sexual frustration.

eddie’s eyes widened in shock despite hurriedly following steve up the narrow passageway and rushing towards your bedroom door.

suddenly both teenagers abruptly burst through the barricade that had previously separated the two of them from you.

before you had the chance to react steve slowly began to stalk towards your place on the bed while you stared up at him in utter disbelief.

“well..well..well” the boy began.

something had changed in steve’s demeanour. his tone had changed. his body language had changed.

“no where to run now.”

a predatory look had settled on his face and his eyes had become much darker than before.

eddie had noticed this change too. he noticed how you had almost shrunken in your seat on the bed and how tears had begun to slightly well in your beautiful eyes.

“you think that parading around in these skimpy little outfits would grab our attention?” steve continued.

your lip quivered slightly as he drew his palm to your face and gently tugged at your lip with his thumb.

“such gorgeous lips... i’ll almost feel bad forcing my cock through them..” he trailed off.

you whimpered at his harsh words as a warm tear slowly rolled down your cheek.

“aww baby there’s no need to cry.” eddie spoke up sympathetically.

“don’t praise her ed. she doesn’t deserve it. knew exactly what she was doing.” steve demanded as his hands flew to his jeans to hurriedly undo his belt.

“i-i didn’t mean too..” you started quietly, trying to find the words to explain how you felt when suddenly you felt a harsh sting on your right cheek.

“don’t fucking lie to us.” steve growled as you realized he had backhanded you across the face.

a warmth had began to form in your lace panties and your face had flushed pink with arousal and embarrassment.

eddie made his way over to the bed and started to softly stroke the back of your hair with his ring clad hands.

“it’s gonna be okay sweetheart. stevie and i just need a little help. is that okay?”

you melted into eddie’s warm body as he held you tightly to his chest.

“mhm hmh” you approved.

“good girl. now why don’t you get down on your knees and open up that pretty little mouth of yours?”

you nodded into eddie’s chest and slowly climbed off the bed and onto the floor.

“see steve? don’t need to be rough with her. our perfect girl.” he praised you sweetly.

“yea well she’s never gonna learn her lesson otherwise munson.” steve grunted in response before his large cock sprung forth from his restraining calvin klein boxers.

you gawked at the size of his erection as he lowly chuckled to himself while yanking on your hair so that your mouth was angled upwards.

“open up brat.” he demanded.

your quivering lips slowly parted for him and without warning he instantly rammed himself down your throat.

you gagged at the sudden force and your vision quickly became blurry with more tears.

“aww poor pathetic baby.. can barely take all of me in her little mouth huh?” steve mocked while pumping himself in and out off your soft lips.

eddie sat on the bed watching in complete awe. you looked so perfectly helpless and fucked out. his cock hardened at the sight of you and instantly wished it was him on the receiving end.

steve glanced up and immediately noticed the desperation that had set in the boys eyes.

gently yanking your hair he brought your head back to unattach itself from his girth. your lips popped together as you stared up at him in wonder and submission.

“hey munson, why don’t you come over here and give it a try.” steve encouraged.

eddie eagerly jumped up from his place on the bed and began to quickly unzip his fly and rip his pants off as his sexual frustration grew more and more.

just then his enormous erection sprang out from his restricting boxers and immediately was taken between your warm lips.

eddie groaned out in pleasure as steve watched in approval.

“looks like our dumb baby is finally learning who’s in charge.” he prasied while stroking his own cock. “such a perfect slut for us.”

you moaned into eddie’s shaft while licking a firm strip up the large protruding vein on the back of his dick.

tears continued to stream down your face as you choked on the munson boy’s boner and mangled moans escaped from the back of your throat. neither steve or eddie were sure how much more of this they could take. you looked like an absolute wreak. the fresh coat of mascara you had applied earlier was now smudged, your hair was tangled in both their fingers while drool, precum, and tears dripped down your chin and onto your hot pink bralette.

steve moaned loudly, pumping even faster as hot white liquid erupted from his cock and painted itself across your face and chest.

this sent eddie over the edge and a warm liquid coated your tongue as you eagerly swallowed every last salty drop.

“holy fuck!” eddie exclaimed.

you gazed up in expectance at the two boys who were now peering down at you through glassy eyes.

“you did so well angel.” steve praised while picking you up gently and laying you on the bed.

“do you think you deserve a reward honey?” he questioned sincerely.

you whimpered into your little pink pillow while nodding apologetically at him.

“aww okay honey, come here.” steve coaxed while positioning his body behind you to support your back.

eddie laid himself down between your legs and carefully pulled your lace panties down your legs and hung them on the post of your bed triumphantly.

the boys mischievously exchanged glances before steve’s fingers immediately plunged into your soaking wet pussy and eddies tongue quickly found its way to your sensitve bud.

the pleasure was almost instantly overwhelming and your body promptly jolted forward before steve’s right arm hooked itself around your waist so you couldn’t struggle too much.

eddie chuckled into your heat as his cool metal rings began to trace shapes through the arousal that was oozing between your thighs.

the sudden change in temperature intensified the pleasure even more and you found yourself almost immediately moaning into steve’s tanned chest.

“d-da-daddy” you panted while the boy stared down at you in admiration.

suddenly the attention that your needy pussy had previously been reciving was almost instantly lost.

you whined out in frustration while violently thrashing your legs around eddie’s head before he managed to grab a hold of your ankles and pin you down.

“what the fuck did you just say.” steve growled darkly into your ear.

“d-daddy!” you cried out pathetically.

eddie chuckled into your inner thigh. “aww baby…you shouldn’t have said that.” he groaned while jumping up from his place on the bed and standing over your naked body.

steve chuckled to himself before thrashing your body forward and positioning you over his knee.

your bare ass was on display for the two teenager boys and they couldn’t have been more pleased.

suddenly a harsh slap echoed throughout the room as a sharp sting was placed harshly on your left ass cheek.

“you wanna be a greedy little bitch…” steve growled into your ear. “.. then you’ll be treated like a greedy little bitch.”

you whimpered up at eddie but he only pouted at you mockingly.

“brought this on yourself princess.” he confessed.

you cried out as three more spanks were laid across your behind.

“are you gonna be a good girl for your daddies?” steve questioned angrily.

*smack

another one.

“or are you gonna be a needy slut that we only use for our pleasure.” he finished.

you cried out, completely unable to speak properly.

three more torturous smacks were laid across your ass.

“answer him!” eddie growled.

“i-i’ll-i’ll be a -a good girl for my daddies!” you whimpered out in agony.

“good.” steve and eddie both affirmed at the same time.

steve then gently scooped you into his arms and placed you back on the bed on your hands and knees.

climbing onto the bed he used his left hand to position his cock infront of your soaked enterance while his other hand gently traced over the red markings that he had made on your ass.

eddie stalked towards the bed before moving your head towards him so that it was just inches away from his restored erection.

suddenly you felt steve slam balls deep into your aching pussy and immediately wailed out in an overwhelming sensation pain and pleasure.

eddie took this as an invitation to shove his throbbing length through your lips and down your throat.

you choked around eddie’s girth and gasped desperately for air as you felt the two cocks absolutely stuff your holes.

“tsk tsk tsk” steve scolded before roughly using his leather belt to leave a harsh spank on your behind. “take it slow baby.. focus on the pleasure.”

you groaned out against eddie once more before carefully pumping your head up and down his length.

“our sweet girl..” eddie prasied causing your cheeks to blush softly.

slowly the pain that was previously overwhelming your sensitive pussy grew into pleasure and you felt yourself gasping out as you tried to reach your release point as fast as possible.

steve and eddie chuckled as you pathetically and needily swallowed their cocks.

“i-i need to - c - cum” you choked out around eddie’s erection.

“aww okay sweetheart… but only on one condition..” steve started.

“wha-“ you barely managed between breaths.

“you let me cum in you and breed this pretty pussy.” he coaxed gently.

“steve no!” you cried out. “i-i can’t get fucking pregnant!”

a sharp and painful sting formed on the left side of your ass. the fucker had bit you.

“watch your fucking mouth!” steve scolded. “now do you wanna cum or not? cause trust me when i say munson and i are more than happy to edge you all night.”

you cried out at his harsh words and felt eddie’s cock begin to twitch in your mouth.

“ah- no daddy please let me cum!” you screamed.

steve spanked your ass once again. “beg for it slut.” he spat.

“p - please please breed me daddy! i want your babies so much!! just please please let me cum daddy!! i swear i’ll be such a good girl for both of you!” you begged out pathetically.

“awww good.” steve approved. “our perfect little whore. go ahead baby you can cum.”

you immediately felt the coil that had been building up in your stomach snap as you and eddie reached your climax together and he began shooting his warm load down your throat.

your body lost itself in pleasure and you quickly felt your head become foggy and clouded.

steve’s orgasm followed soon after both yours and eddie’s. with a deep guttural groan his hot seed shot out from his cock and coated the interior of your pussy creating a warm, comforting feeling.

the room suddenly became silent. the three of you struggled to catch your breath while you begin register what had happened.

“wow.” steve broke the silence.

“wow.” eddie responded.

thats when the two boys looked down at you in concern and immediately began worriedly asking you a million questions about how you were feeling and what you needed.

“was i too mean to you baby? i’m so sorry angel..” steve coaxed while rubbing lotion on your swollen ass while eddie peppered kisses across your face.

in that moment you felt so much love and adoration from the two boys that it was perfect.

almost.

because before you knew your bedroom door swung open revealing your brother and the rest of his friends.

their eyes were wide with shock and mouths hung open in terror.

“what- the- fuck-!”

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things smut #steve harrington smut #eddie munson smut #steve harrington x reader x eddie munson #steve x reader x eddie #steddie #steddie smut #steddie x reader #steddie x reader smut #stranger things steddie #daddy steve harrington #daddy eddie munson #eddie munson daddy smut #steve harrington daddy smut #stranger things smut one shot #steddie stranger things

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ashcal99 · 7 months

Text

Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale VII

Chapter Seven

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn, blood

Words: 6.1k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. Sorry it took me so long to update, life has been completely hectic. Hope you enjoy x

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

February 5th, 2005

Soft music rung through the otherwise silent cab of Jasper’s car, the gentle thrum of the guitar filling the space between the too occupants. He had put on the music in hopes to help at least partially settle the nerves that were clear as day on Camila’s face. She sat in the passenger seat, spinning the metal rings that hung loosely on the thin fingers of her right hand, a nervous tic of hers that jasper couldn’t help but notice. Her left hand remained in his, the constant touch of their skin being something that they both needed.

Jasper weaved through the treelined road, forest blurring past as he tried to keep his focus on the drive and not the way Camila had her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Any normal day, he would use his powers to help ease her anxiety, but that would’ve gone against her explicit request to refrain from doing so. Camila didn’t want her emotions of meeting Esme for the first time to be skewed in any way, no matter how much more comfortable it would make her.

In truth, she was terrified of making a bad impression. Sure, she knew Carlisle, but she didn’t exactly know him personally. If she really did stand a chance at all of living with these people for the rest of her existence, then she wanted nothing to obscure her perception of them or their perception of her. She had worried all morning, not wanting to come off in any bad way, she had even gone as far as to wear something else besides her normal graphic t-shirt and leggings.

It wasn’t anything fantastic or impressive, but the dark denim that fit snuggly around her thin waist, thanks to a belt fastened tightly through the hoops, and the simple ivory cotton long-sleeve that she wore under her jacket were far from her usual attire. Despite Jasper telling her that she needn’t worry about impressing his family, she couldn’t help but feel as if it was a necessity. There was a lot at stake. Not only did she care about what they thought of her because of her feelings for Jasper, but she dreaded the idea of them stuck with her for eternity and secretly despising her. She wasn’t about to make a decision that would effect everyone else so greatly without making sure it would be the best for all people involved first.

Sure, maybe it didn’t help that Edward had already shown his distaste for her, regardless of his reasoning. Yes, Jasper had explained why Edward had been acting the way he had, but she would be lying if she said a small part of her was saying otherwise. Telling her that the immortal teen had a valid reason for his resentful behavior towards her and it was actually all her fault. That same little voice screaming at her that she would make them all be miserable if she did choose to stay with them

Still, despite her nervousness and that pesky little voice, she was actually excited to be officially introduced to his family. With the normal lunches in the school cafeteria being the exception, she hadn’t exactly seen Jasper interact much with his family and the idea intrigued her to say the least. She had really only seen one side of Jasper, the side he was willing to show her, and she couldn’t help but want to see every other side of him that existed. The good and the bad, if the bad even existed in the first place. Though the circumstance was far from a normal teenage experience, this had to have been the most normal thing for the two.

So, when the car finally pulled up to the house, a modern looking mansion that was covered in large glass panels, her heart had sped up on newfound adrenaline. A mixture of bad and good nerves filled her chest, turning the food that Jasper had been insistent on buying her for lunch in her stomach as her eyes took in the beauty of the sculpture-like home. Jasper’s hand let loose of hers as he flitted at an inhuman speed to open her door for her, gone and then back again in a blur. The same hand was offered back to her, his usual gentlemanly self offering to help her out of the vehicle.

She gulped, attempting and failing to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat as she took his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet. His hand remained in hers as he lead her to the front door of the large home. The soles of their shoes crunched against the gravel of the driveway, a stark contrast to the wide smooth concrete stairs that lead up to the entry of the house.

Jasper dropped his grip on her hand, reaching to pull the large glass door open, gesturing her into the opening as he followed behind her, hand on the small of her back. Camila’s eyes flickered around the bright white walls of the room, eyes wide as she took in the luxurious beauty of the home, small beams of light reflecting off of the various glossy surfaces around them in a soft glow. “Woah.” She muttered, not able to stop herself from gaping at the beautiful artwork that was scattered about the contemporary home. It would be impressive to anyone, but especially to someone that lived in a home like she did. Suddenly, she couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at the state Jasper had seen her room in so many times.

Jasper cleared his throat softly at her side, grasping her attention briefly as he asked. “May I take your jacket for you, Darlin’?” A soft blush creeped onto her cheeks at the nickname, not able to get used to it no matter how often he called her it, as she nodded slightly. Her eyes flickered back to the stunning home as Jasper stepped behind her, gently sliding the soft fabric from her shoulders. Goosebumps rose on her arms as his cool fingers grazed delicately across the thinly covered skin. She blinked rapidly, attempting to keep herself from becoming too distracted by the simple touch.

“Camila!” A high voice chirped from her left as a blur raced towards her. Chilled arms embraced her frail frame and she told herself that she would eventually get used to Alice and her antics, even if that day was far in the future. Either way, Camila was trilled to except the girl’s friendship with literal open arms.

A huff of a laugh left the teen’s lips as she reciprocated the hug. “Hi, Alice.” She greeted, the smile refusing to falter on her lips. The arms released their grip on her shoulders as Alice pulled away, smile shinning as bright as ever.

“It’s about time you got here.” She said, giving a pointed look to her adoptive brother.

Jasper rolled his eyes. “I had to make sure she was fed, didn’t I? What kind of a boyfriend would I be otherwise?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at his sister expectantly. The word ‘boyfriend’ had of course sent Camila’s heart racing, as much as she trying to keep it at a steady pace.

Alice scoffed at his words. “I’m just messing with you and you know it. Besides, you know you just wanted more alone time with her, we could’ve fed her here.” She teased, smirking as she turned away, looping her arm through Camila’s as she lead her deeper into her home.

“Esme is so excited to meet you.” She gushed to the girl, pulling the frail human along with her as she purposely ignored her brothers distaste of the theft of his girlfriend. Camila struggled slightly to follow, forcing her feet to keep up and not trip over themselves as Alice practically dragged her to the living room of the home.

Her heart thudded along, speeding slightly as she realized that what she had been so nervous about all morning was literally right around the corner. She couldn’t decide if she slightly despised Alice for forcing her into this or if she was thankful, not knowing if she would be able to do so on her own. Either way, the remainder of the immortal family was just a breath away and she was beginning to regret telling Jasper to hold back with his powers.

As the trio rounded the corner in a decent sized sitting room, the pale beautiful faces of Carlisle and what she assumed to be Esme coming into view. Camila forced her eyes onto the woman before her, smiling shyly back as warmth creeped up her neck. The woman came slowly to a stand, trying her best not to frighten the girl as she beamed a bright smile to her.

Jasper had been correct when describing her, she had a visible kindness about her, a motherly aura that was obvious as soon as she had stepped into the room. Alice’s touch dropped from her arm, as it was quickly replaced with the return of Jasper’s hand within her own. The immortal girl sent Camila a small reassuring smile, knowing that Jasper’s touch would be able to comfort her much more than her own. She flitted upstairs, deciding that she would find Camila again later when everything would be less overwhelming for her.

Carlisle perked up, rising from his feet. “Camila, how are you feeling.” He asked, not being able to keep his centuries of being a doctor at bay as he spoke to his patient.

Camila grinned lopsided. “Not bad, all things considered.” She said, figuring that she could be far worse given her circumstance. Carlisle nodded curtly, content with her answer for the time being.

Jasper cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the other three in the room. “Esme, this is Camila. Camila, this is my mother for all intents and purposes, Esme.” He introduced, causing the smile on Esme’s face to broaden as she took the couple in, drinking up the sight of the two.

The woman walked forwards, stepping closer to the girl as she greeted her tight motherly embrace. “It’s lovely to meet you Camila, Jasper has told me so much about you.” Esme said, causing blood to flood her cheeks as she blushed a deep red at the information.

Forcing the lump from her throat, she spoke, careful to keep her voice from shaking with the nerves that had long since settled in her chest. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too. You have a beautiful home.” She said politely, trying to focus on the feel of Jasper’s skin on her fingertips.

Esme’s smile refused to drop as looked around the stunning house around her. “Thank you, I designed it myself.” She admitted, pride clear in her voice. “Although, I do have to admit, we haven’t gotten a lot of use out of some of the features until now. Perhaps you will give an excuse to finally use the kitchen?” She asked, smiling brightly.

“I already took her to get food before coming here.” Jasper informed her.

Esme’s eyes flickered between the two. “Perhaps another time then. Just let us know if you get hungry and we’ll get you something.” She concluded. Jasper’s eyes seemed to stick to Camila’s face as the stress seemed to melt away from her features. Jasper had been right of course, Esme was warm and welcoming, everything that a good mother should be, everything that her mother was. Perhaps she needed more time to get to know the family, but regardless, it didn’t take much to realize that they were all good people with good hearts, especially the woman standing in front of her.

Esme’s eyes flickered down to the couple’s intertwined fingers, unable to keep the smile from forming on her face. The look in Jasper’s eyes as he gazed at Camila was one that Esme knew all too well. It was the look of love. Something that she had not been sure he would ever find, but was so happy to see that he had.

It had been so long that Jasper had been alone in life and the sight of him with her was something she couldn’t have ever imagined. The joy that rushed through her heart at the sight seemed impossible. Jasper had been through so much throughout his long life and it was almost hard to believe that he was finally getting a glimpse of the happiness that she knew he deserved.

Carlisle cleared his throat, seeing that his wife’s attention was otherwise occupied. “Jasper, why don’t you show her around the rest of the house?” He suggested, giving the blonde a pointed look. Jasper smiled thankfully at the man, grateful that he had saved the two of them from anymore embarrassment Esme could’ve possibly inflicted.

Jasper lead the way up one of many staircases in the home, careful to not go quickly as he knew Camila would never let him cary her up the flight. Each room seemed to be more stunning than the last, the sheer beauty and vulnerability of the many glass panes being a lot to take in as it was.

The house, in all truth, had surprised Camila. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, surely not anything like the dungeons she had seen fictional vampires live in in movies, but defiantly not this. The whole home was void of the tragedies each member of the family had endured and was replaced with equal amounts of beauty. Finally, they came to a stop outside of a door, which Jasper silently opened and lead her inside.

Camila knew before he even said anything that this was his room. The plush forest green couch along the wall, the rows and rows of books that lined the rest of the space, the overwhelming calming atmosphere, the whole place screamed Jasper. “This is my room.” He said, allowing her to lead him further inside to whatever had peaked her interest most.

Her feet carried her to the built in shelves that lined the walls with what had to have been close in not a thousand books. Thicker spines in the collection caught her attention first, so she moved forwards, eyes squinting as she tried to make out the titles of the large books. “History books?” She asked, humor coating her voice as a small smirk grew bigger by the second on her lips.

Jasper stepped closer to the shelves. “Are you going to make fun of me for being a nerd?” He asked in mock offense, unable to keep his growing smile hidden.

A light laugh left her open lips as she turned to face him briefly. “No it’s not that, it just seems… incredibly fitting.” She teased, the smirk growing even larger.

“Now, I don’t know if that means I should be more or less offended.” He said, cocking his head to the side in question.

“Less, promise.” Camila said, eyes wandering the rest of the room. For the most part, the room was bare, his time obviously being filled mostly with reading. “What do you do for fun around here besides reading history books?” She asked, turning her eyes to meet his.

“I like baseball.” He said immediately, obviously not needing to put much thought into it before answering.

Camila quirked an eyebrow at the blonde. “Watching or playing?” She asked curiously.

“Both.” Jasper answered.

The curious expression didn’t drop from her face as the admission just added more questions to be answered. She knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able to play normal baseball given his supernatural speed and strength, and was dying to know all of the details. “How is that possible?” She asked.

“It’s a bit complicated, but I promise I’ll show you one day.” He assured her, happy to see the she had accepted his answer for the time being. “But I do watch games with Emmet and Edward a lot as well.” He continued.

Her smirk returned in a flash, something about his last sentence clearly being very humorous to her. “What?” He asked.

“Oh it’s just very boyish of you, watching baseball with your brothers.” She said.

“Would it humor you to know that I promised to watch the Super Bowl with them tomorrow?” He asked, immediately receiving his answer as she let out a snicker in response. Jasper rolled his eyes playfully. “The goal is to appear as close to a normal human as possible is it not?” He asked, lifting his free hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

Camila smiled, trying and failing as usual to ignore the racing of her heart at his touch. “Oh trust me, you defiantly are far from convincing anyone that you’re normal.” She muttered.

It was Jasper’s time to smirk as a memory popped into the forefront of his mind. “Oh yeah, what was it again? Ridiculously attractive? Inhumanly so?” He teased, unable to stop himself as he saw the blush rise on her cheeks once again.

Her free hand came up to punch his shoulder playfully, her knuckles feeling as if they hit solid stone. “Shut up.” She muttered, looking down in attempt to hide the growing redness.

“Why don’t you make me, Darlin’?” He asked, dropping their intertwined fingers and settling instead to wrap his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her the rest of the way towards him, needing to feel her closer to himself.

Camila wasn’t too sure what pushed her to do so confidently, her usual shy demeanor dissolving quickly away as the seconds ticked by. Maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of being in Jasper’s home, being welcomed as one of the family’s own, or maybe just Jasper and his habit for making her feel like the rest of the world was melting away whenever he was touching her. Either way, it didn’t take long for her to comply and fill the gap between them, wrapping her arms securely around his shoulders, and pushing up on her toes until their lips met in a soft embrace.

Like usual, despite the cool temperature of his skin, the touch of his lips set her ablaze. Her heart thudded along in her chest at an almost embarrassing rate considering that he could hear all of it. Her fingers reached up from around his neck, curling them in the soft golden curls at the base. She pulled away, ending the delicate touch of their lips all too soon. They stood like that for a moment, just holding each other, foreheads pressed together, just soaking in their presence.

Jasper was the first to pull away, reluctantly forcing himself to do so as he allowed her to go back to her snooping. Her eyes continued scanning the rows and rows of books, recognizing some as she went, making mental notes of talking points when her eyes scanned over a few of her favorites. One of which had just grasped her attention, her fingers raising to grab the bound pages as a sudden blinding light ripped Camila from her focus, her hand dropping back down to her side.

Curiosity filled her eyes as set them upon Jasper’s face. The light was coming from him. Okay, maybe not from him, but the sun had begun to shine into the windows just to their right, like a cloud had finally drifted past and the light was somehow reflecting off of his skin. She stood there in awe, not sure how exactly to react to the stunning appearance in front of her.

“This is why you can’t go out in the sun.” She said suddenly as the realization finally hit. “I can see how that would be… distracting.” She admitted, eyes still wandering his skin in awe as she stepped closer, allowing her fingertips to brush the cool skin of his cheek.

Jasper nodded slightly. “That’s why you will unfortunately have to go without me on Monday and Tuesday.” He said, causing an exaggerated pout to form on her lips. “It’ll be okay.” He said, laughing lightly, trying convince himself just as much as her.

Camila’s eyes stayed, glued to his skin as she reached down to grasp his hand in her own, bringing it up to get a closer look at the stunning shimmer of his skin. She couldn’t decide if it looked more like it was shimmering or if it had just caught on fire, the blinding light much like hot flames flickering over his body. She supposed that this must be where the ‘burning in the sun’ thing came from, a now fairly obvious origin of the story.

Delicate notes filled the air, rolling throughout the open room as the sound thankfully pulled her thoughts away from the upcoming absence of Jasper in the days to come. It took her just a moment to recognize the sound of a piano somewhere within the home. Whoever was playing was doing so beautifully and she was having a hard time focusing on anything else in the moment.

Jasper, seeing the interest in her eyes, spoke up. “Do you want to go listen?” He asked, not waiting for an answer as his fingers intertwined in her own and he begun to lead her through the hallways. Her eyes widened as they rounded the corner, surprised to see Edward of all people sitting at the large shinny black grand piano occupying the middle of the room.

She pulled he lip between her teeth, debating for a moment if she should bring attention to herself before realizing that he would’ve already known that they were there watching him play. “You play beautifully.” She spoke out, catching the attention of the brooding vampire behind the keys.

“Thanks.” He muttered, eyes returning quickly to the song as his fingers danced quickly across the keys. Camila’s eyes flicked up to Jasper, giving him a small nervous smile before dropping his grasp and making her way towards his adoptive brother. Despite the situation making her uncomfortable, she knew it was necessary. The last thing she wanted was any animosity between her and Edward and if that meant that she was the one that needed to initiate any form of friendship then so be it.

“Do you mind?” She asked gesturing to the space on the bench beside him. He shook his head no, scooting over slightly to make room for her to join him on the seat. She lowered herself onto the plush cushion, rolling her sore shoulders and she positioned her hands over the piano. Her fingertips grazed lightly over the ivory keys, delicately pressing as they went, emitting a soft melody throughout the room. Edward smiled softly, listening as the notes continued one after the other. “Jasper didn’t mention that you played.” He spoke, eyeing her thin fingers as they continued.

Camila hummed in response. “To be fair, I’m pretty sure I never mentioned it. It’s been a while since I’ve had anything to practice with.” She admitted, thinking back to the easier times she had. Before she got sick. Before everything changed so drastically. Back to when she was just a normal teenager. She had taken piano classes since middle school, but when she had gotten diagnosed, the practicing had dwindled significantly, along with everything else in her life.

Edward eyed the girl, maybe for the first time understanding the extent of the pain she had been through. The memories that flooded her mind were difficult for her to think of, that much was obvious. He hadn’t exactly gone out of his way to see her side of things throughout this whole mess, but finally being able to read her mind made his entire view point change.

Realistically, she was just like the rest of them, her life being cut short and now she was being given an opportunity. The same opportunity he had been given, even if she was being given the choice when he had not. Either way, it was not his place to judge her and he knew his attitude had to change. She didn’t deserve his hatred. In fact, she didn’t deserve any of this, but this was the life she had been given. “You’re pretty good all things considered.” He admitted, the corners of his lips curling slightly upwards, finally deciding to show her as much kindness as he could will himself to, still, despite everything, finding the gesture difficult.

Jasper watched from the doorway, happy to see that his brother had finally decided to be kind to his now girlfriend, even if calling her that still seemed like an odd thing to do. Almost too human of thing to do. Camila scoffed. “Not nearly as good as you.” She said, dismissively waving her hand as she rolled her eyes at him.

Edward laughed lightly. “I’ve had decades to practice. I’d say that’s a pretty unfair advantage.” He stated mater of factly. Camila laughed as well, happy to see that the immortal teen was finally warming up to her. Maybe living for eternity with this family wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe they wouldn’t end up hating her guts like she feared so greatly.

Camila let loose a slow breath as her fingers stilled on the keys, attempting to keep the release steady as the pain that ached through her bones seemed to thrum along. Her eyes fluttered shut briefly, trying to get her heart rate to slow back to a steady beat as her head begun the throb. Edward’s concerned voice rung through her ears. “Do you need some water? Would that help?” He asked, his voice seeming miles away as the pulsing pain in her temples increased by the second.

Camila couldn’t help but feel frustrated with herself, something so simple being able set her off. The concentration needed for playing sending pulses of pain through her temples. The frustration didn’t stop as Jasper rushed to her side, laying a comforting hand on the small of her back as he leaned down, eyebrows furrowed together in visible concern. The pain seemed to slice right through her skull, growing more and more intense by the second as pressure begun to build in her nose.

Almost in slow motion, the uncomfortable feeling of her nose running started and she watched as a crimson drop fell ever so slowly onto the pristine keys of the piano, splattering over the pale surface. Her hand shot to her nostrils, attempting to stop the mess from getting even worse, but her efforts were useless. The floodgates had opened and blood was steadily pooling down onto the piano and her cream colored shirt.

Out of instinct, the two vampires held their breath, sure that disaster was just around the corner. Slowly, the realization hit that everything was okay and the bloody nose wasn’t going to cause a complete bloodbath. The realization that her blood really didn’t effect them like everyone else’s hit Jasper, and selfishly, for a moment he was thankful for the cancer that had changed the chemistry of her blood.

Still, panic filled Jaspers eyes as he took in the scene of Camila covered in her own blood like an image taken straight out of his own nightmares if he could still have them. “Carlisle!” He yelled out, the stress and unease clear in his voice as his hand came up to her nose to pinch the bridge in attempt to stop the sudden uncontrollable flow.

Edward’s eyes flickered between the two, frustration clear on his face as he stared at the bloody mess. He turned, rushing away in a blur, obviously disturbed by the whole ordeal, but Jasper couldn’t care less. All that mattered was Camila and her safety. Edward’s emotional distress would have to be something for him to deal with alone.

The man flitted into the room in a flash, immediately going into doctor mode as he saw the scene in front of him. “Jasper, keep the pressure there. Camila, we’re going to take you to my office to see what we can do to stop the bleeding quickly, okay?” He said gently, motioning for Jasper to carry her further into the home.

In a blink of a moment, there they were, in one of the rooms she had yet to see, but was just as immaculate as the rest of the home. “I’m so sorry.” Camila apologized as Jasper sat her down on the examination table.

“Nonsense, there’s no need to apologize.” Carlisle assured her, brushing off Jasper’s touch on her nose and replacing it with his own. “Jasper, go help your mother clean up, would you?” He asked, looking pointedly in the direction that they had just come from. Jasper knew better than to argue with the man, no matter how much he wanted to in the moment.

It pained him to leave her side, especially seeing her in the condition that she was in. Emotional torment swirled in his head as the realization hit that this had to be a normal thing for her and was nothing compared to what was yet to come. So, he greeted the opportunity of distraction with open arms, rounding the corner and seeing that Esme was already there, wiping up the splatters of blood with a damp rag.

Her eyes flickered up to his own, not needing to have powers like his own to see the emotional destress. “Oh, Jasper.” She said, sympathy coating her voice.

Jasper shook his head, refusing to be the weak one when Camila needed someone strong to depend on. After all, nosebleeds were normal right? Despite trying to reason with himself, he knew better. He knew that the amount of blood covering the piano and the floor underneath was not a normal amount. He knew that it would mean something serious for anyone that didn’t already know something was wrong. “I’m fine.” He muttered, grabbing another rag and helping clean crimson covered wooden planks.

Hearing the stubbornness in his voice, Esme knew that pushing the subject anymore was useless, so she decided to move onto something else. “I like her already, you know.” She said, a sly smile growing on her face.

Jasper couldn’t help the lift of the corner of his lips as he though of her. “I like her too… obviously.” He joked, trying force the spiraling thoughts of losing her from his mind. The pressure of her illness had never been so prevalent in his mind and he couldn’t stop thinking of the choice that she would have to make, the very real possibility that she would say no and soon leave him forever.

Esme’s heart ached at the sight of her son’s torment. She scrambled, hoping to find the right words to comfort him. “Everything will work out in the end.” She said softly.

His head hung at her words, biting his lip as he forced his eyes to stay on soiled rag in his grip. “Please, Esme. I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but you don’t know what she’ll decide. I refuse to make that decision for her or pressure her in any way.” He said, jaw clenched tight.

The idea had been prevalent on his mind since Alice had told him of her vision of the future, but never had it seemed so close and so damn daunting. He knew it was right around the corner, and the nose bleed hadn’t even been something major, but for some reason, it made everything seem so much more real. So reel that it terrified him more than ever. At every corner he reminded himself that this whole thing could come to an end soon, but that didn’t stop him from growing closer and closer to her by the day. Throwing caution to the wind as he excepted his feelings for her and gave into his own heart’s wants.

Esme sighed, dropping her rag on the floorboards, bringing her palm to lay on his shoulder. “You have to have hope, Jasper.” She said, rubbing her thumb across his shoulder. A deep frown settled on her face as she took in his stone cold expression. “I’ll let you finish up here.” She said lowly, deciding it would be best to leave him to himself.

——————

The throb behind Camila’s brow persisted as she sat on Carlisle’s exam table. His firm but gentle touch finally dropped from her nose as the bleeding subsided. She looked down, horrified to see her ruined outfit. She wasn’t sure how easy it would be to clean the blood from the cream colored shirt, but had a feeling that her mother would notice her change of clothing either way.

The dread only increased when her mind wandered to what the scene she had left behind must have been like. Of course, it was just her luck. Her first time meeting the mother of her boyfriend, and she had left a huge mess in her wake. She couldn’t help but be embarrassed, and just when she was beginning to get along with Edward of course.

“Are you feeling okay? Faint at all?” Carlisle asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

She blinked rapidly, forcing her eyes up from the blood-soaked cotton. “I’m fine.” She muttered lowly, not bothering to speak up, knowing that he would be able to hear her either way. “I haven’t had this happen for a while.” She admitted, thinking back to the stained carpet she had left behind in her last home.

Carlisle sighed, turning as he grabbed a few different things, too quick for her to see before handing the small baggy over to her. “Nosebleeds are very common with your shortage of platelets, frankly I’m surprised they haven’t been happening more often.” He said, giving a soft pat to her knee. “Either way, if you do happen to experience a more severe episode again, there should be everything you need right there.” He said, gesturing to the baggy.

“I’m sure you know all of the steps, but I’ll go ahead and remind you. You’ll want to make sure that you’re seated leaning forward, breath through your mouth and pinch just above your nostrils for ten to fifteen minutes and if it hasn’t stopped by then, come see me. I did pack some gauze in that bag just incase you have a more severe episode again, so Jasper can insert it for you until he can get you to me.” He explained, giving her a reassuring smile.

His smile drooped slightly as he continued. “I’m sure you’re already aware, but these type of things will become more and more frequent as the cancer progresses.” He said. Camila forced a tight smile, nodding curtly. Just another thing to worry about in school, great.

A soft knocking sounded throughout the room, causing both pairs of eyes to flicker towards the noise. Alice stood in the doorway, smiling her usual smile as she flitted to the duo, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. “Come with me, I have a change of clothes you can barrow.” She said cheerily.

Camila snickered softly at her enthusiasm before slowly sliding off of the exam table to a stand and following her retreating figure.

——————

The events of the day had been cut short after the brief ‘bloodbath’ that had occurred. Esme had refused to except any of Camila’s apologies, stating that there was nothing to apologize for in the first place. Camila couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about the whole ordeal, only having met her for the first time earlier that day and already making a mess of her home. It definitely hadn’t gone as planned, but as expected, Esme was just as wonderful as Jasper had described her.

After she had returned home, she hadn’t even had to ask before Jasper was crawling back into her window, avoiding being seen by her parents, knowing that Camila would need her ‘emotional support vampire’ after the grueling events of the day.

As she laid on his chest, fast asleep, puffs of air leaving her open lips, Jasper’s thoughts continued to race. His heart physically ached in his chest as his eyes scanned her soft features. The panic that lingered of losing her reared its’ ugly head as he clenched his jaw, trying to push the thoughts from his mind. As much as he didn’t want to give the idea the time of day, he couldn’t help it. As much he dreaded the topic, he knew that the best he could do would be to promise to love her until her last breath and it would ultimately be up to her if she would stay beyond that.

Next Chapter

Tag List:

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skyward-floored · 18 days

Note

For IAU requests… anything Four related? Sorry if that’s too vague lol

Don’t worry about it anon, being vague is fine! Precise prompts are fun too, but having some more vague ones adds some nice variety. And gives me the freedom to do stuff like this, hehe.

(Set when they’re all a little older. Four is somewhere in his early teens).

————————————————————

“Hey, um... Link?”

Four startled, nearly banging his head against that of the girl leaning over him. She jumped back, and Four blinked a few times, trying to focus on her face. Freckles swam into view, and Four finally recognized the girl as his friend Dot.

Friend, despite how his brothers tried to tease.

“Ah, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you,” Dot apologized, and Four waved her off, yawning.

“‘S okay,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Did you need something?”

Dot hesitated, something odd shining in her eyes. “You um, really seem tired today, Link. Are you all right?”

No. “Yeah.”

Dot studied him a second, then leaned down, and lowered her voice so the other kids couldn’t hear her as easily.

“I... I heard your brother was in the hospital.”

Four swallowed as the familiar ache in his chest came back, and he looked at his desk as he nodded.

“I’m really sorry,” Dot continued, her voice soft. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No,” Four mumbled, not wanting to think about Twilight, still struggling to recover after a hit from a mysterious weapon had nearly killed him. Hyrule’s powers had had almost no effect on his injury, and they’d exhausted every option they had. And though Twilight was finally no longer on death’s doorstep, he still wasn’t healing like he should be.

He could easily slip back to a dangerous level, and if that happened again he might not have the strength to pull through this time.

“...Link?”

Four swallowed. “Sorry. Thanks though. Appreciate it.”

Dot hesitated, but nodded, and patted his shoulder as the bell rang, signaling the start of class. She sat in the desk next to him like she always did, and poked his arm whenever he started to drift off, giving him a light shake when that wasn’t enough.

The school day dragged on, and dragged him with it, Four fumbling his way through his classes. Dot stayed at his side for all of them that she could, and the part of him that was awake enough to notice was grateful for it.

He’d barely slept the past few days, his emotions were a wreck, and on top of all that he’d had a nasty argument with Wild last night.

“He doesn’t need this right now!”

Four swallowed. All he really wanted to do was go back to the hospital and sit with Twilight, but instead he was stuck in school, currently learning about some math formula while his and Wild’s angry words rang in his head, along with the noise Twilight had made when he’d been hit and Four couldn’t stop thinking about how still he’d gone after he’d fallen—

“Mr. Forester, I asked you a question.”

Four blinked, and realized his math teacher had come up to his desk, arms crossed as her foot tapped on the floor. The classroom was quiet, and Four swallowed when he noticed everyone was looking at him.

“Mr. Forester?” the teacher reminded sternly, and Four swallowed.

“I’m... could you repeat that, please?” he stammered, and she sighed.

“I asked if you knew how to solve the problem,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “And I would appreciate an answer sometime this year.”

A few of his classmates tittered, and Four blinked the exhaustion out of his eyes, trying to remember if he’d actually heard her say the problem or not. His cluttered brain couldn’t focus though, too many thoughts and feelings clogging his usually sharp brain. The writing on the board blurred, and Four swallowed, looking at his desk.

He had no clue what he was supposed to be solving.

“I... n-no. I’m sorry,” he whispered, and to his horror, his eyes began to water.

His teacher sighed, and went back to the front of the class. “Disappointing, Mr. Forester. I expect more from you. Can anyone else tell me how to work these equations? Miss Castor?”

Someone else spoke up, but the words just buzzed in Four’s head, his throat tight as he stared at his desk.

His brother could be dying right now, and he was wasting his time sitting in a math class.

Four bit his lip as it trembled, flipping up the hood of his jacket. The argument with Wild wouldn’t stop replaying through his mind, the way he’d yelled and how Four had yelled back, and how he’d split in the middle of it and said things he knew he’d regret, but they’d felt so good leaving his mouth, and the way Wild’s face had looked so miserable as he’d run away, and how his father had just looked resigned to the fact that they were going to lose Twilight—

A hand squeezed his arm, and Four looked through his hair at Dot, her face sharply worried now. He swallowed rather thickly, and Dot suddenly raised her hand.

“Yes, Miss Gustafson?” their teacher asked as she turned around, and Dot stood from her desk.

“I think I need to take Link to the nurse,” she said firmly, hand still holding Four’s arm. “He hasn’t been feeling well all day, you can see for yourself he’s pale.”

“Are you certain?” their teacher asked, and Dot nodded, unwavering. Their teacher thought for a moment, tapping a finger on her desk. “Hmm. I suppose he has been acting unusual today... that would certainly explain some things. You may escort him.”

“Thank you,” Dot said with a nod, and she pulled Four out of his desk and out of the classroom before he could blink.

They didn’t go to the nurse’s office though, rather Dot pulled him to a small spot behind the stairs, one so small only a few kids could actually fit back here. Four and Dot fit fine though, and she tugged Four down to sit, rifling in her bag.

“Okay, go ahead,” she said, pulling something out.

“Go ahead?” Four asked, barely stopping his voice from wobbling.

“Go ahead. Cry. You were on the verge of breaking down in there, you’ve got to let some of it out or there’s no way you’re making it through any more classes today,” Dot said matter-of-factly. She held up a small packet of tissues. “So cry, please.”

Four let out a hollow laugh. “I’m not going to just start crying because you told me to, Dot.”

“It’ll help, trust me,” Dot urged, and her voice softened. “It’s okay to be upset, Link. Anyone would be with what you’ve got going on. Just cry for a bit, and then we can go back. We don’t even have to go to the nurse if you don’t want to.”

Four laughed again, but the sound was watery. “Dot, just because Tw-Twilight is in the, the hospital, doesn’t m-mean, I...”

For some reason saying it out loud made it all crash down on him, and Four’s voice broke.

He tried to keep talking, but his breath hitched, and suddenly he was crying instead, a sob hiccuping from his throat. Dot stayed quiet as she set a hand on his shoulder, and Four felt tears begin to drip down his cheeks.

She rubbed it a little bit, and Four hiccuped again, wishing in the back of his mind that he could split. Then only a fourth of him would be sobbing his eyes out in front of Dot, and this would be a little less embarrassing.

But his powers were secret, and supposed to stay that way. So Four continued to cry, Dot scooting over to sit more closely beside him, her hand warm on his shoulder.

He didn’t know how long they sat there, Dot patting his shoulder while he cried his eyes out, but it was long enough that he was sure their teacher would be suspicious.

“Y-you should go back,” Four finally said, shakily wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “You’ll be missed.”

“Oh don’t worry about that, I can just say you threw up on me and I had to clean myself up,” she shrugged, offering him a tissue. Four let out a watery snort, but took it, shakily blowing his nose. “Or that the nurse wanted to make sure you hadn’t infected me. Ooh, or maybe you were so delirious you begged me to stay at your side, and I was forced to forgo math in order to stop your feverish ramblings.”

“No way that would work as an excuse,” Four said, his voice still wobbling.

“It might, you never know.”

Four fondly shook his head, then sighed, feeling drained from all the crying he’d just done. He didn’t feel... better, exactly, but he felt less overwhelmed by it all. His head felt less cluttered at least, and he gave Dot a grateful look.

“Thanks Dot,” he said quietly, and she nodded, then gave him a quick hug.

“Of course. If you need to talk, or just... anything else, just ask, okay?”

Four nodded, and hugged her back. “Okay.”

They sat under the stairs a little while longer, trying to make Four look like he hadn’t spent the last half hour crying, and then Dot pulled him to his feet, and they went to the nurse’s office together. They at least needed an alibi for being gone so long, and it would be suspicious if Four was never seen going to the nurse. Even if he only felt sick because of worry.

Four sighed as they walked down the hallways, and Dot squeezed his hand, giving him a little smile. He somewhat succeeded in returning it, and his thoughts drifted back to Wild, and their argument.

As soon as he made it through the rest of the school day, he’d... try and talk to him. He owed Wild that much at least.

And... Twilight would want him to try.

#IAU sunset arc babey #linkeduniverse #linked universe #incredibles au #Incredibles au fic #lu four #lu Dot #answers from the floor #anon #fic #writing from the floor #twilight’s fine obviously but it sure sends his family into a tizzy #it’s fun figuring out how things would change for this au #fun times. hehe.

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bellaxgiornata · 11 months

Text

All These Years [Part 12: "Considering the Offer"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 3.5k

a/n: Another painful installment that is about to bring us to what I consider to be the worst angst of this whole series next. This one certainly hurts, though. Feedback is always appreciated--and so are theories about what happens next even if my lips are sealed!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift @margoo0 @1988-fiend @lockleywife @strangeobsessed @justalittlebitbored @am-3-thyst @buckybarnes-1917 @thora-jane @lionalsowrites @cloudroomblog @prince-tassel @danzer8705 @yourlocalbentspine @harperdoodle @hollandorks

“Look at us!” Foggy exclaimed, raising his beer bottle high up in the air, clearly still wound up from the win in court earlier today as his eyes scanned over everyone around the table. “All of us together again tonight! How often does that happen?”

“Well, not all of us,” Karen pointed out, nudging you beside her with her elbow. “We are missing Adam tonight.”

Foggy held up a hand, shooting you an apologetic smile as he shook his head. Internally you cringed, your heart aching at the mention of Adam, but you bit your tongue and kept your mouth shut. You weren’t about to correct anyone, not tonight. Especially when you weren’t prepared to come up with a partial truth as to why he actually wasn't here, because you needed some reason that would make it past Matt’s human lie detector abilities that you always kept in mind if you were to tell them the truth. And currently you weren’t in the mood to think of one.

“You’re right, Karen, I’m sorry. We aren’t all fully together tonight,” Foggy amended. “We are, unfortunately, one person short this evening.”

“Though you did manage to wrangle me back to Josie’s,” Marci said, her arm still wrapped around Foggy’s waist. “And how you managed that again remains a mystery.”

Marci’s eyes dropped down to her glass, openly studying it with distaste. She’d often made it clear she wasn’t a fan of coming out to Josie’s, preferring that you would all someday make your ritual hangout place at a nicer bar.

“At least this time I wasn’t the one who was unavailable,” Erica said, her slender arm casually draped over Matt’s shoulder.

Inevitably her voice drew your gaze all the way across the table. Her attention was focused on Matt, a smile crossing her pretty face. A sharp pang of jealousy struck you like a white hot fire in your veins when you saw Matt turn his focus on the beautiful dark blonde sitting beside him, a large smile forming on his own lips underneath his glasses as he leaned in towards her.

“You’re right, for once I got you out of the office and all to myself,” he playfully teased. “Which certainly doesn’t happen often enough.”

He leaned in to place a lingering kiss on her cheek and your eyes quickly dropped down to your beer before you, your fingers running along the condensation of the bottle. You did your best to try to ignore the sound of Erica’s giggle and the feel of your erratically beating heart at what was happening across the table. Pressing your lips firmly together, you fought hard to keep them from visibly trembling. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Karen was looking at you, but you tried your best to ignore that, too.

It had been a little over four months now since you’d learned Matt wasn’t dead, having found out when you’d seen him sitting and having a drink with your friends at Father Lantom’s wake. It was only a couple of months after that when Marci–who’d begun dating Foggy recently–had introduced Matt to one of the lawyers at her firm. Erica Kaminski. And he’d quickly grown fond of her real fast.

You'd met her a few weeks after you'd heard Matt first talking about her. She was apparently an impressive defense attorney herself, one who was incredibly busy and very focused and passionate about her work. She was sweet, too. Nice. Which made it absolutely impossible to hate her despite how beautiful, confident, charismatic, and successful she was. She was practically Matt's perfect match, even if she wasn't necessarily as crazy about taking on pro bono cases like he was.

They looked perfect together, too, with his dark hair, handsome face, and the strong build not very well hidden underneath his suits next to her lithe and leggy form and her model-like face and perfect hair. They looked like some sort of power couple and it physically pained you to see them together whenever you did. Especially whenever you saw Matt leaning over to give her sweet kisses to the cheek or the forehead–even worse when you had to witness a passionate kiss on the lips. Every single time it always felt like your heart was further withering inside of your chest, gradually shriveling up into a goddamn raisin.

She didn’t know about Matt’s alter ego, though. Nor did she know about his heightened senses. And Matt had made it very clear that none of you were to say anything about it to her. You’d understood why at first, but as the weeks wore on and Matt seemed further smitten with this woman, you’d started to wonder how things were going to continue on if he didn’t tell her the truth. How could he have a relationship with someone if they didn’t really know who he was? How could he know she really wanted to be with him– all of him–if she didn’t know there was more that he wasn’t telling her? You’d kept your mouth shut about it, but you’d always bitterly thought he was making the wrong decision by planning to keep her in the dark. Not that you felt she needed to know everything after only two and a half months, but with the way these two seemed to be going–at least with how Matt talked about her–you had a feeling she’d be reaching a point where she deserved to know the truth. And Matt deserved to be with someone who loved that other side of him, too.

Though admittedly, you felt like Matt was far more into Erica than she was into him. Not necessarily in a bad way on her part, but you often got the she’s-very-married-to-her-career sort of vibe from her. She was often unavailable to make plans with Matt, usually too focused on something with work. Sometimes work would even call her away when she’d been out–even if she was on a date with Matt. Whereas Matt had latched onto Erica like he’d had back at Columbia when he’d met Elektra. It almost seemed like some level of an unhealthy co-dependency he’d formed with her that you couldn’t quite make sense of, though of course you would never ask him about it. You figured it had something to do with whatever had happened to him after Midland, but he always seemed so happy with her that you’d tried to ignore it.

But as you spotted them kissing across the table out of your peripheral, you felt like you were about to be sick. As if she noticed exactly what was going on, Karen leaned over towards you.

“Want to grab another drink with me?” she asked.

You nodded, lips still firmly pressed together as you instantly pushed your chair back. Sliding off of it, you maneuvered around Foggy and Marci before making a straight line for the bar counter, your eyes locked on Josie pouring out a beer behind it.

“Something’s going on with you,” Karen pointed out as she fell in step beside you. “It’s written all over your face.”

“I’m fine,” you muttered.

Karen snorted, shaking her head. “Okay, I may not be Matt, but even I know that’s a lie,” she shot back.

You sighed as the pair of you reached the counter, leaning forward to rest your elbows up onto it. Turning, you glanced at Karen’s inquisitive and concerned face beside you. One of her brows rose onto her forehead in a silent question. Your eyes slowly slid back to the table your friends were at, a frown slipping onto your face as you spotted Foggy and Matt both focused on their girlfriends. Really, though, the nauseous feeling in your stomach was due to the intense focus Matt had on Erica and the hand he had on her knee as he was talking to her. Biting your tongue, your focus returned to Karen.

“Are we still grabbing brunch tomorrow?” you asked her.

She nodded quickly. “Yeah, I was planning on it,” she answered. “Why?”

“I’ll tell you everything then,” you told her, your focus shifting on Josie as she made her way towards the pair of you. “When it’s just us.”

The waitress placed the plate of eggs benedict in front of you and you thanked her softly as she did. The food looked good–as it always did here–but admittedly your stomach was churning a little at the conversation you knew you were about to continue. Eyes glancing back up, you saw Karen across the booth from you still staring at you unblinkingly, her mind clearly still on the conversation that had been interrupted just now. When the waitress placed Karen’s food in front of her, Karen muttered a ‘thank you’ quickly, but her gaze never left you.

“Is there anything else I can get for you two?” the chipper waitress asked, her focus darting between you and Karen.

“I think we’re good,” you answered, shooting her a tense smile. “Thank you.”

She nodded before turning and heading off to a nearby table. Karen immediately leaned forward across the table towards you, her blue eyes intense as she ignored the steaming plate now between where her elbows rested on the table.

“Okay, let’s back up and go back to where we were,” she said. “You were offered a new position?”

“Yeah,” you said, picking up your mimosa. You felt like one was not going to be enough for this conversation. “My boss has loved my initiative ever since…well, you know.”

Karen’s face fell immediately, a frown pulling at her lips. “I’m sorry about that,” she apologized, her eyes softening from the piercing stare she’d had for the past few minutes. “I really am, we shouldn’t have–”

You waved a hand, cutting her off as you clutched your mimosa tighter in the other. “Hey, it’s over, right? What’s done is done. None of you can take it back and you and Foggy have apologized like a thousand times already. And Matt probably ten times as much,” you muttered, drawing the glass to your mouth for a drink. Swallowing the cold liquid down, you added, “It is what it is at this point. I know why you all did it, but that doesn’t make it hurt less when I think about it.”

Across the table, Karen sat back in the booth. A look of guilt had taken residence on her face and you felt bad, but you weren’t about to console her for what had happened. Because admittedly that image of the three of them in Nelson’s jovially chatting when you walked in still plagued your mind some nights. As did the image of Matt and Erica kissing.

“But yes, my company has been doing well this past year and they’ve been focused on expanding,” you continued, bringing the conversation back around. “My boss has been loving my dedication to my work and the things I’ve been producing for the company, so he wanted to offer me the new position opening up first.”

“What’s it include?” she asked carefully.

“A massive pay increase,” you told her. “Like...almost double my salary now.”

Karen’s eyes grew wide across the table, her jaw dropping. “Are you fucking serious?” she breathed out. “You already make a good living–and they would almost double that?”

You nodded, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. Karen’s eyes immediately caught the movement and they instantly narrowed at you.

“What else does it include?” she asked.

“Well, like I said,” you continued a little nervously, “my company is expanding. Outside of New York City.”

You saw the moment realization dawned and her face fell across from you, her shoulders dropping at the information. “How far outside of New York City?” she asked.

Biting your lip, your focus dropped down to your plate of untouched food. Nervously your fingers fidgeted with the fork on the table. Karen was the first of your friend group you were telling all of this to.

“Los Angeles,” you told her.

You winced at the sharp intake of breath across the table, your eyes slowly making their way back up to her face. One of her hands had flown up, covering up half the look of shock now present there. Your stomach felt like it dropped to the floor, your appetite quickly leaving you.

“So you’re leaving?” she whispered.

You shrugged a shoulder lightly in response. “I mean, I haven’t accepted anything,” you replied. “They offered me the position two weeks ago. They aren’t exactly in a rush right now for an answer because they’re still getting the new office together out there. But they really want me for this position. I’m pretty sure my boss is prepared to beg.”

“That’s–that’s incredible,” Karen said, a sad smile on her face as her hand fell back to her lap. “Really, that’s amazing.”

“Thanks,” you muttered.

“So–so what’re you thinking, then?” she asked. “I imagine you’ve been thinking about it for a bit now.”

“I–I’m considering it,” you confessed, heart hammering in your chest as you did. “Really considering it, actually. That’s a lot of money. I’ve never been that far west, either.”

“What about Adam?” Karen immediately asked. “What’s he say about all of this?”

Taking a deep breath, you sat back in the booth now, entirely ignoring your plate of food. Exhaling roughly, you prepared to drop another bomb on Karen.

“We broke up,” you told her.

“ What ?” she asked in disbelief. “Why? When? You two were doing amazing, what happened?”

Your eyes dropped down to your lap. Nervously you were wringing your hands together, your chest feeling tight.

“Almost two weeks ago,” you answered. “Shortly after I got the offer. I was thinking about it for a few days, mulling it over, you know? And I knew I needed to tell him about it because it’s not like I could just make a big decision like that on my own. But he–he really didn’t want to leave New York. His family is here and he loves where he works.” You paused, your eyes still unable to meet Karen’s. “He asked me to stay here with him. Wanted me to move in. Talked about…wanting more with me.”

Karen once again sucked in an audible breath across the table. Your fingers only fidgeted faster in your lap at the sound.

“He wanted to marry you?” Karen asked.

Swallowing hard, you nodded. The far too familiar sting of tears were in your eyes again and you fought to blink them back.

“I liked Adam a lot,” you admitted, your focus finally returning to Karen. “I really did. He’s an amazing man, really. And I–I tried to love him.” You sniffled, trying to fight down the emotion you felt rising inside of you. “I really, really tried with him. For a long time in the beginning when I was with him, I didn’t think about Matt. And it was nice. But then Matt he–he met Erica a couple of months ago and hearing him talk about her, seeing them together–”

You broke off, your eyes closing as a few tears fell down your cheeks. Shaking your head, you tried to continue.

“It made me realize I still love Matt,” you admitted. “After all of this time, no matter what I do or what he does, I can’t seem to stop loving him. And I’d been feeling that for a couple of months now but I just–just kept trying to push it down. But when I was offered this position and I needed to talk to Adam and he wanted those things with me…I realized it wasn’t him. He’s not the one I wanted those things with.”

Karen said your name softly, her own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“And then I–I remembered what you said,” you continued, a few more tears running down your cheeks as you spoke. “Last year. About moving away and I–” the words felt like they were getting stuck in your throat as you tried to force them out, “–I think you were onto something. Because I can’t live like this, Karen.”

A few tears fell down her own cheeks as she listened to you, one of her hands darting up to wipe them away. Shaking your head roughly, you continued on.

“I can’t stay here being in love with someone who will never love me back,” you told her. “I can’t continue to watch him with Erica anymore. Every time they kiss I feel like my heart is being torn to shreds. I just can’t do it anymore. And seeing him with her made me realize that if–if he were to propose to someone, I think it would kill me. So I…think I need to leave before that happens.”

Across the table, Karen inhaled a shaky breath. A few more tears slipped out of her eyes and you watched as she tried to blink them back, her focus shifting to the window beside the two of you.

“It sounds like you’re already decided then,” Karen said softly.

Pressing your lips together, you nodded. “I think so,” you admitted. “My heart is begging me not to go, I can feel it, but my head is telling me to get out. It’s been years of this pining and it’s–it’s keeping me from really being happy, you know? It’s not right to be this in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way. And this incredible opportunity just fell into my lap and I–I think I should take it.”

“Does Foggy know?” she asked, her attention returning to you. “Judging by how happy he was last night, I’m guessing he doesn’t.”

You shook your head slowly. “No,” you told her. “So far I’ve only told you. I knew you’d be upset but…I know Foggy is going to have a hard time with this.”

Karen huffed out a humorless laugh, nodding as she wiped away a few tears on her cheeks. “Yeah, he’s definitely not going to handle this news too well,” she agreed.

“I might not tell him quite yet,” you admitted with a wince. “So if you could just keep this between us for now, I’d appreciate it.”

Instantly her eyes narrowed back at you. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat under her piercing gaze.

“I plan to tell him when I’ve gotten things more finalized,” you assured her. “You know, once I’ve accepted the offer officially and am actually looking at apartments out there. There’s no need to upset Foggy too soon in case something falls through. I just…don’t want to say something unless I know it’s for sure happening. But I needed to talk to someone about it.”

Karen’s expression softened as she offered you another sad smile, nodding as she did. “I understand,” she said. “So I’m guessing you’re going to tell Matt at the same time as Foggy then?” she asked.

Heart twisting in your chest at her question, you felt that all too familiar hollow ache gnawing at you. You honestly didn’t know how you were going to tell Matt this news, let alone actually say goodbye to him. It wasn’t something you wanted to think about because it hurt too much.

“Probably not at the same time, no,” you whispered, eyes dropping down to your still untouched plate of food. “He's been so happy lately with Erica. Happier than I've seen him in awhile. I don’t want to ruin that for him. And I don’t–don’t know how I’m going to tell him, either. He deserves to know at some point but I–I don’t even know how I’ll have the strength to tell him I’m leaving. To actually say goodbye to him.”

The tears were welling up again in your eyes and you fought hard to blink them back down. The thought of permanently saying goodbye to Matt felt like a small death in itself. Like you’d be leaving your heart in New York and dragging a shell of yourself across the country to L.A.

But what other choice did you have? Did you really want to stay here and watch him fall in love with Erica? And if it wasn’t her, surely it would be someone else. Could you really just sit there and watch it happen? Watch him tell some other woman that wasn’t you that he loved her? Hear that he’d gotten engaged? Attend his goddamn wedding and be forced to watch him join his life to someone else's forever in front of your very eyes?

You knew the answer was no. You could never do that. What you’d said to Karen was the truth–watching Matt marry someone else would absolutely kill you. With how long you’d spent wanting him– loving him–there was no way you could watch him make a life with someone else. No way that you could pretend he was only your best friend.

Leaving New York was the only option left that you hadn’t tried yet.

“I’ll tell him eventually,” you promised, both to Karen and yourself, “but not yet. I–I can’t talk to Matt about this just yet.”

[END NOTES]

I'm sharing end notes again on this series because I feel like y'all need it. Especially because I literally wrote this one up really fast today and hope everything came across!

So Matt is dating Erica and seems quite into her. And Reader has once again ended things with Adam despite how good things were going with him because she's still in love with Matt. All it took was her seeing him so crazy about someone else for her to realize she still has feelings for him. But that little seed of thought Karen planted awhile back never truly went away and now Reader is being offered an amazing new position in L.A. in the coming months that she's planning to accept. Which means bye bye Hell's Kitchen, hello California. And in turn, bye bye Matty.

So what happens next? Because Matt is about to learn VERY soon who Reader has really been in love with...but will she stay or will she go?

The next installment is titled "Breaking the News" and I do have a title for the one following, but I think I'll hold onto that until y'all get the next installment. Because I want to keep you guessing where this is going. I'm cruel like that 🙃

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock series #matt murdock

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 26 days

Text

lunar return chart observations🌛

currently reading The Godfather

lunar return chart it’s giving your mood or your anxieties every month, like my period but - how’s your inner world…

syrinx (3360) 8H sextile moon 7H: somehow represents how I dealt with disappointment, in this case emotionally (moon). the house syrinx is in represents in which area happens. the moon house represents how emotionally I dealt with the situation and what affected me. in this case, my moon 7H represents I was affected by a friendship I thought was a friendship but in the end it was never reciprocated, 7H doesn’t necessary means lovers or enemies but also represents the shadow side of ourselves or of the person you’re referring to, is used to appear after the idealization part. in every type of relationships happens, that’s what my psychologist said🤓. I felt disappointed bc I saw the shadow side of this person, he wasn’t really my friend. sextile says I did great in managing the situation, that i cried about it and I turned the page and learned about it. syrinx 8H tells me what caused my disappointment, that was a non superficial topic at all, also that there’s a new beginning behind of all of it.

jokaste (899) retrograde square neptune 11H: jokaste means something that’s “bad but it’s true”. so I basically told someone I knew for a day I wanted to date him, I was idealizing him so much and didn’t want to admit the truth (he ghosted me and that indicates their position) but i tried so hard to maintain this idealized image of him. later, very later 😭 I finally realized (retrograde). the 11H of neptune represents my wishes and dreams. jokaste square neptune signifies it was difficult for me to accept the truth. neptune creates confusion between intuition and reality and in this case, about my wishes.

mars trine uranus: felt an impulsive emotional need to make something out of the blue for their sake, to reaffirm their way of being. I made an impulsive decision due to boredom and needed to make something. went to a festival and they pierced my ear, months later I had to remove it bc they did it bad

chiron 15° 7H trine ascendant: lunar return is more about our inner world, how are feeling, emotional focus, etc. there’s a lesson you’re learning that would affect your whole view or mood of the month. I read my brother’s moon return and the month her toxic gf broke up with him he had this aspect. house of chiron indicates where this lesson happens and the degree is how. the degree is a Gemini degree, she manifested it verbally and in a logical form, what I’ve got. he was devastated, even he had uranus opposition ascendant, evidencing he had no idea what was coming.

jupiter 1H square MC: you could find yourself feeling a little bit down or blaming every complex situation on your “bad luck” respecting your reputation or career. you could feel aspects of your identity could complicate your reputation.

sun square libby (5672): libby asteroid meaning fated connections. the main topic on that month would be connected with a fated connection. ik someone who got engaged on that time of her lunar return, I imagine she was meditating her new future life with this connection.

uranus on natal 4H: I moved out to another house, and everything was new to me, I felt nostalgic about my old home but I had the feeling it was for the better.

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗ */ᐠ - ˕ -マ✩ (˶˃ᆺ˂˶)∗ ࣪

♡ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#lunar return chart #lunar return #moon return chart #astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astro placements #asteroid syrinx #astro notes #ascendant #asteroid libby #uranus

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propertyofwhitney67 · 2 months

Text

Are you mad? No, I'm scared shitless.

M!Whitney x AFAB!Reader

Words: 896

TW: Pregnancy

Note: I don't know how to feel about this one...

I stared down at the test and two red lines stared back at me. I’m pregnant and it’s Whitney’s.

The bathroom door opening and chatting broke me from my trance. I quickly tossed the test in the trash and left the stall. I shook as I washed my hands, my mind was running wild. What am I going to do? How is he going to react?

I walked into math class and quietly took my seat. I dropped my head to my desk and desperately tried to calm myself down. It felt like ages before the bell rang and Whitney walked into class, taking his seat beside me.

I anxiously bounced my leg and tried to focus on River speaking, but it was no use. I couldn’t focus on anything besides my rapidly beating heart. Whitney seemed to notice my anxiety and gave me his hand to play with. It helped a little. Thankfully class went by quickly, River ignored me and Whitney for the most part.

When the bell rang I quickly got out of my seat, almost forgetting my bag and leaving the classroom. I didn’t bother going to English class, I didn’t want to have to deal with Kylar. I hid away in the bathroom and didn’t come out till school was over.

I went to the locker room and changed into my normal clothes then went searching for Whitney. I have to tell him, he deserves that much. I found him outside the school talking with his friends. I made my way over and tugged at his arm, “Whitney…”

He looked down at me irritated, “What do you want, slut?”

I looked at him pleadingly, “Can we talk, over here.” I gestured to an area away from everyone else.

“What? You’ve never been shy about fucking me in public before.” He joked and pulled his arm away.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and not break down then and there. “Please, Whitney. It’s important.”

He rolled his eyes but agreed, walking away with me. “What is it?”

“I’m pregnant.” I answered shakily, trying to hold back tears. ”And before you ask, it’s yours.” I kept my head down, afraid to see his reaction.

He was quiet, unusually quiet, and it scared me. I wrapped my arms around myself as I let the tears finally fall. “How long?”

My head shot up in confusion, “What?”

“I said how long? How long have you known?” He repeated himself forcefully as if he was holding back his emotions.

I shook my head in confusion, “This morning, I took a test in the bathroom.”

He took a deep breath and dug the palms of his hands into his eyes, “Fuck…” He went quiet again, thinking hard about something. I fidgeted where I stood, waiting for him to say something, to get mad and yell, tell me to fuck off, anything. Anything would be better than the silence.

After what felt like forever but was only a few minutes he uncovered his face and took me by the arm, dragging me with him. “Wha-”

“Shut up.” There was no arguing with him as he dragged me to his house and into his room.

I dropped my bag on the floor and sat on his bed. He began to pace the floor of his room. After a few minutes I asked him, “Are you mad?”

This seemed to break him out of his thoughts as he stopped pacing, “What?” He took a seat beside me, “No, I’m not mad…I’m scared shitless.” I snorted a laugh at his confession. I was scared too but I found it funny how he could still act like himself despite the situation.

“What are we gonna do?” I asked, suddenly feeling tired. My emotions drained all my energy.

He kissed the top of my head, “The best we can.” I kicked off my shoes, crawling up his bed and laying down where Whitney quickly joined me, resting his head on the pillow next to me.

I started playing with his hair, “How are we gonna get out of here…?”

“I have a plan.”

I looked down at him and asked in a joking manner, “You, a plan?” This was not a time to be joking but I found it funny that he, of all people, had a plan.

Whitney sighed, “Yes, I do. I know it’s hard for a slut like you to listen, so pay attention. Do you remember how you helped me study for those tests?” I nodded, “They were for college and I got accepted…I didn’t want to tell you unless I got in, and well I did.”

“How?” I asked baffled that he, Whitney the school bully, was accepted into college.

He looked up at me with a smirk, “What? Am I not smart enough for college?”

I rolled my eyes, “No…I’m just surprised. What does that have to do with this though?”

He rubbed my stomach, “I’m taking you with me, I think it’s the best chance to get us out of here.” He’s right, it is. It might be the only way for us to get out of here.

“Promise you won’t just leave me behind?” I asked, scared he’d leave me here alone and pregnant.

He took my hand and kissed it, “I promise slut, I’m not leaving you or our baby behind.”

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪

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yourlocalmerchgirl · 7 months

Text

Is it ok if I call you mine? Part One

Part 2 Part 3

Soft!Joel Miller x Neurodivergent/ anxious F!reader

Summary: When Joel sees you having a hard time outside of a concert he tries to make sure your alright when he scares you on accident he can’t stop thinking about if your actually ok or not until a couple weeks later he runs into you. Both of you let down your guard and form a unlikely bond

Soft! Joel miller x neurodivergent reader AU (outbreak never happens)

Warnings: soft Joel, concerned Joel, protective Joel, neurodivergent, audio overstimulation, anxiety, self inflicted angst. Best friend Tommy, falling in love. Acceptance, low self esteem.

A/N: I’m so nervous to start posting this story. This story is very near and dear to me and I’ve been pouring my heart into this story, I hope you all like going on this journey with me. This will be a multi part story.

There’s not a lot of descriptors about reader other than eye color but they can easily be changed.

You didn’t want to be this way- in fact you hated it at times if you’re honest with yourself. Sometimes you could see it coming. Other times, one minute you were fine the next your brain felt like it was drowning out at sea while your body looked for it in a flimsy life raft.

You just wanted to enjoy your night out with your best friend seeing your favorite band, you had felt really good today.

As you sat there waiting for the show to start the chatter of the group sitting behind you became more intense and you started zoning out, trying to focus on anything but as their chatter turned into them shouting back and forth over each other, it became to much. Everything sounding jumbled, you felt lightheaded as if your head was swimming, the overwhelming anxious feeling taking over your body.

“I-I ne-need get out of here and get some air” you shouted abruptly standing, grabbing your seat to steady yourself as the dizzys worsened.

“Do you need me to go with you?” Stacey asked concerned, she knew all to well how awful things could get for you sometimes.

“No…no I’ll be ok, I just need to breathe, need some air. I’ll text you if I need you”

Once outside you slid down, sitting on the sidewalk under the awning of the venue, the small round lights that lined the bottom of the awning offering just enough light in the night sky. You sat with your back against the building, your knees pulled up to your chest as you felt the cold fall air fill you lungs, easing the weight on your chest slightly. God the air felt good on your over heated face.

“Y’alright miss?” You hear an unfamiliar muffled voice. There’s other people around surly he’s talking to someone else.

“Miss y’alright?” You hear the soft husky drawl. You try to ignore it. Please be talking to someone else.

“Darlin’ y’alright” you hear with a light hand on your shoulder. Fuck. Your head snaps up, eyes wide as your gaze locks with a pair of big brown eyes. Flinching away from him you snarl “dude I’m fine”

“Sorry didn’t mean to startle ya, was just concerned.”

You don’t say anything back, you barely even acknowledge him.

“I-I’m Joel” He offers with a kind smile

“Look Joel I’m sure you’re nice and all but I clearly am having a rough go and don’t want to be bothered” you snapped back standing quickly and hurrying back inside the venue.

“Sorry Darlin” he softly called after you.

“What was that about?” Tommy asks Joel, only witnessing the tail end of what was happening.

Joel lets out a defeated sigh “There was this girl curled up sitting on the ground, clearly going through something, I asked her if she was a’lright. I think I scared her when I touched her shoulder, she got up angry and ran inside.”

Once inside you run into the bathroom rubbing cold water on your face, you feel a rush of instant guilt. You hated the way you came off to people sometimes, your tone coming off harsh and aggressive, often not matching how you were feeling. People would often tell you you needed to control your emotions or regulate your tone but you truly couldn’t control it, it’s just how you were. You weren’t good with people, you didn’t like small talk never really knowing how to engage in it, you often either shared to much to fast or you’d say nothing at all, mostly just observing people, just being in the background of most situations and that was when you were invited to gatherings which wasn’t very often.

“There was this guy outside tonight”

“Ok…”

“He was trying to check on me, to make sure I was alright and I snapped at him, I was actually pretty rude to him”

“I feel so bad” you said with a deep sigh.

“Don’t let it bother you, I’m sure he didn’t think much of it” Stacey said trying to ease your mind.

“Joel…he said his name was Joel.”

————————————————————

“Shit…I-I think that’s the guy from the other night” you say looking up from your sandwich.

Stacey whips around “Who Joel? The guy from outside the show? Which one is he?”

“The one with the scruffy beard, and messy hair standing with the guy with the dark curly hair at the counter, I think he was there too.”

“He’s handsome, you didn’t tell me he was so handsome”

“Well I didn’t realize it either, I was to busy being a bitch to notice” you say nervous laughing.

“I’m sure he won’t remember me, but I still feel so guilty”

You have no idea yet how wrong you are.

Joel notices you instantly as him and Tommy are looking for a table.

The feeling of relief washing over him seeing that your ok. He hadn’t stopped wondering, no he hadn’t stopped worrying if you were ok.

Tommy noticed Joel acting nervously, continuously looking over Tommy’s shoulder at something or someone.

“Y’alright man? Y’acting weird, w’do you keep looking at?”

“It’s the girl, the one from the other night at the show”

Tommy turns to see you and Stacey recognizing you from the other night.

“I’ve seen her friend here before, think she’s seeing the guy that runs the place”

“But the girl, she looks like she’s alright” Tommy says softly, turning to see Joel’s smile at his comment.

“And I know you been worryin’”

“Huh? It that obvious?”

“I’m your brother I know things, also ya keep mentioning it, why don’t ya go talk to her?”

“M’pretty sure I scared the shit outta her, she ain’t want me talkin’ to her.”

“I-I should apologize to him”

“So let’s go talk to them”

“Ugh your not supposed to agree” you laugh.

“You keep talking about feeling bad, and I know you, you’ll just keep thinking about it, if it would make you feel better let’s go talk to him”

Stacey’s surprised when you get up from the table slowly and nervously start walking over and she follows behind.

“Ah shit, there…she’s coming over here I think” Joel says nervously

“I-I’m sorry this is kind of random but are…are you Joel?” You ask as you nervously fiddle with the hem of your shirt, unable to maintain eye contact.

“Yes ma’am”

Tommy watch’s your body language intently, understanding more about you than you even realize or notice.

“I ah, you probably don’t remember me”

“Course I do”

“You do?” You ask completely shocked

“Why wouldn’t I? You were outside of the State theater, was worried about you”

“A-bout that, I’m so sorry for snapping and being so rude to you. I know you were just trying to make sure I was alright. I was just having a rough go and I’m just um not very good with people sometimes an-d my tone doesn’t um ugh it doesn’t matter….I just wanted to apologize.” You said, getting more nervous and flustered the more you talked. Damnit why am I like this? Why the hell is he gonna care about my problems just stop talking.

But it did matter, it mattered to him. He wanted you to go on, to hear about what was bothering you. He wanted to be able to ease your mind, to make you feel better.

Tommy noticed your body language, how anxious you were, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt while looking at the ground. He knew this feeling all to well, anxiety hadn’t been his friend since he’d came back from the army and seeing Joel go through it when he lost Sarah he just wanted to make you feel comfortable.

“Well since my brothers not going to introduce us, I’m Tommy. What’s your name darlin’?” Tommy says holding out his hand to shake.

“ shit..sorry I’m (y/n) and this is Stacey.”

You turn to Joel, your hand out stretched.

“It’s nice to meet you properly Joel” you say offering him the warmest smile. You just had this feeling about them, about him in particular that you couldn’t describe.

Joel is surprised but moved by your action, taking your hand offering you the kindest smile back. He takes this opportunity to study every part of your face, as if he was committing it to memory.

“Y’all have fun at the show?” Joel asks

“Oh were you guys there for the show too?” You ask, your face turning the lightest shade of red.

“ well, I dragged him there” Tommy says gesturing to Joel chuckling

“But yea we were there”

“Yeah… umm other than my episode we had a blast…they’re my favorite band”

“Hey! No way they’re mine too” Tommy exclaims “my first time seeing them”

“I’ve seen them 3 times, they’ve been great every time” you exclaim.

Joel watches as your body language relaxes a little bit. He takes pride in him and Tommy being able to ease you even if just for a moment.

“Y’guys want join us?”

You’re immediately flustered by the question, feeling like you’ve lingered too long making them feel like they had to ask.

“Oh no that’s ok, I don’t want to bother you guys, you’re clearly on your lunch break.” Your eyes trained on your shoes, pulling at your shirt. Fuck you hated being like this- an awkward overthinking mess as people would tell you.

Pulling your gaze back up to Joel with a nervous smile on your face.

“I just wanted to apologize, sorry to bother you guys”

Before either of them could say anything you turn on you heels and hurried out the door.

“Wait (y/n)” Joel calls after you calmly, not waiting to scare you.

As you and Stacey turn around you see Joel smiling at you as Tommy comes out of the cafe behind him.

“Here I ah wanted to give your our numbers” Joel says rubbing the back of his neck.

You reach out taking the piece of paper.

“No pressure just if you ever wanted t’talk”

“I’m not a fan of talking on the phone, makes me anxious but I-I’ll text you sometime if that’d be ok?”

“Yea, that’d be more than ok darlin’”

Joel wasn’t much of a texter but he’d do anything you’d be comfortable with if it meant he’d get to talk to you again.

Y/n: Hey! It’s y/n I saw our favorite band is coming back in a couple months and playing in Dallas!

As soon as you sent the text to Tommy you regret it. What if it came on to strong? what if he thinks I’m asking him to go? Who am I even to think he wants to talk to me?

Your thoughts only spiraled like water going down the drain the more that time passed with out hearing from him.

Tommy: Hey sweetheart! Sorry for the late response, we had a crazy day at work today.

Tommy: shit no way, we should all go, I’ll talk to Joel about it and snag tickets for everyone.

“ oh shit y/n texted me saying the bands coming back in a couple months, playin’ Dallas. We should all go, have a road trip down there.”

“Oh…s’he texted you?”

“Oh shit sorry have ya not heard from her?”

“No, no it’s ok. I’ll go though if she wants to go”

“I’m sure you’ll hear from her Joel, she only texted me about the show”

Joel’s just relaxing or trying to relax, because let’s face it he’s never been very good at just taking a breath and resting without trying to do a 100 other things at once.

He hears his phone vibrate on the night stand, caught off guard by the butterflies he feels before reaching for his phone. He thinks it must be you, Tommy’s downstairs the only other person that would text him.

His smile reaches his eyes before he can even think about stoping it when he sees it is infect you.

Y/A: Hey! It’s y/n. I’m sure Tommy told you I messaged him. Hopefully you don’t think I didn’t want to talk to you, was honestly working up the courage to message you.

Fuck…what the hell am I doing?! Did I just say that.

Y/N: Jesus…I’m so sorry that was awkward haha

God. You were so cute. Joel just found you so endearing as he finds himself completely taken by you.

Joel: Hey darlin. No worries at all. Im happy to hear from ya.

Joel: how’s your night goin? Hopefully it’s treating you well.

Y/N: it’s going good, I’m just curled up in bed watching one of my comfort shows.

You and Joel went back and forth for a couple hours, chatting and unknowingly making each other light up and feel comfortable with each other.

Joel: I don’t want to put any pressure on you so don’t feel like ya have too…but would you want to grab a coffee together tomorrow? That is if ya don’t already have plans.

You’re torn, on one hand you’re overjoyed that he asked you out to coffee and on the other hand you can’t help but feel like he feels like he has too, that you might of come on too strong. But here goes nothing…

Y/N: Sure, that would be really nice. I’d like that.

You hit send before you can think about it too much.

Y/N: if it’s ok could we go later in the day after lunch? It’s less hectic and pretty quiet around then.

Joel doesn’t give why you asked to meet then much thought, because the reason didn’t matter. He wanted to do what ever you were comfortable with and if that’s when you were comfortable going then that’s what he’d do.

Joel: Sure that sounds good to me darlin. I’ll meet you there.

—————————————————————

As you make your walk over to the cafe you can’t help but wonder if this is a joke, if Joel actually wants to hang out? If he asked because he felt like he had too.

You wish you didn’t have to say you used to it but you are. You’re used to people just putting up with you, inviting you some where because they feel obligated too, only hearing from them when they want something from you. The amount of times you misjudged a friendship or relationship was staggering. You had no idea how wrong you were.

The longer Joel sits at the cafe, the more nervous he becomes. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this early or nervous for anything in his life, not even the day Sarah was born. Part of him is worried you won’t come, that he made you feel like you had to say yes. The other part of him is over joyed at the idea that you wanted to come, that you might actually want to spend time with him.

Joel hears the baristas greet someone excitedly. When he hears the voice that greets them back he knows it’s you, your voice already burned into him memory. Your tone is bubbly and happy today, he can hear the smile in you’re voice before he even sees you. When you finally come into view, his heart melts when he sees your smile, your big beautiful smile.

You glance over meeting his gaze, giving him a little wavy and smile as you make you way over to him.

I can’t believe he’s here already and here I was worried about being to early.

Joel hopes you don’t notice the way he wipes his sweaty palms on his pants as he stands to greet you.

“Hey sweetheart good t’see ya”

“You..you actually came. It’s so good to see you too” you say offering him the same smile you walked in with.

“Is it alright t’give ya a hug?”

“Yes of course” you said after hesitating briefly.

Joel wraps you into the most comforting hug you’ve ever had. Coming from someone who doesn’t like to be touched or have people in their personal space abruptly. But there was something different about Joel, something comforting and natural that you couldn’t quiet out your finger on.

Joel pulls away when it sinks in what you said.

“Wait…why wouldn’t I show up?”

You feel embarrassed that you said it out loud, but you also wanted to be honest with him.

“It just wouldn’t be the first time I misjudged someone inviting me somewhere or the first time someone forgot that we had plans.”

“I’m just a lot for most people and it’s ok, I’m used to it”

“You shouldn’t h’ave to be used to that sweetheart but quiet frankly I think your awesome, to awesome to be wantin’ to hang out with me so I thought you might not come.”

You and Joel sit and talk for a couple of hours at the cafe. You talk to him about some of your disorders related to being neurodivergent and about your life before coming to Texas. Joel listens intently, letting you talk freely without interruptions or judgements and doesn’t press for more info than you’re comfortable telling him. The only questions he ask are about things he can do to you help when things get bad or how he could offer support if you needed it. Almost as if he’s saying he wants to spend more time with you with saying it.

Joel tells you more about himself, the contractor business that him and Tommy run and about Sarah, his daughter who he lost a few years ago. Joel is surprised how intently you listen to him, how he has your undivided attention. He’s never had anyone other than Tommy listen to him in that way, free of judgement and full of compassion. Never pressing him to share more than he was comfortable with.

“Hey I-I I don’t if you and Stacey have plans tonight but Tommy and I are gonna have a movie night and get some pizza if you guys would like to come.”

“Oh I think Stacey and Jared are having a date night tonight”

“Well you’re still welcome, we’d love to have you”

“Don’t feel like you have to invite me, I wouldn’t want to impose on your night.”

“Not at all, you could never impose. I’m having a nice time with you and honestly would love to spend more time with you. I know Tommy would love to have you too.”

Joel senses your hesitation, but not because you don’t feel comfortable it’s because your worried you will be in the way, like you’d be intruding where you weren’t wanted.

“As long as it’s ok I would love too, honestly I’d like to spend more time with you too” you say offering a warm smile.

Joel’s hand ghosts over your lower back as you guys leave the cafe. Normally you’d be put off by this or flinch away but something about Joel was immediately comforting.

“Oh I walked here so I just need to go grab my car, we live around the corner”

“If you’re comfortable with it I could drive us and bring you home later.”

“Ok” you say smiling warmly, letting him know your comfortable with that.

“Let me just text Stacey so she’s not freaked out when my cars there but I’m not.” You say as you guys walk to his truck, his hand still lightly on your lower back as you walk.

“ here let me see your phone” he says leaning against his truck.

“I typed my address into your message for her to have, that way you can feel safe knowing she’s knows exactly where you are.” He says handing you back your phone.

His gesture speaks volumes to you, it’s almost as if he can read your mind.

“Thank you….I’ve honestly never had anyone do something like that for me before.”

“Here let me see your phone, I’ll give you her number incase you ever need to get ahold of her.”

“Was gonna ask but I didn’t want you to think I was being weird”

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you make your away across town to Joel’s house, truly just enjoying each others company.

When you guys arrive at Joel’s he gets out and runs over to the passenger door opening it for you.

“Tommy! We have company for movie night tonight” Joel calls out as you enter the house.

Joel barely gets the words out before you hear Tommy’s foots steps padding down the hall.

“Hey there sweetheart! Happy to have ya here” Tommy exclaims as he pulls you into a hug, huge smile across is face.

“Now my brothers not given you any trouble is he?” Tommy asks jokingly making the cutest laugh bubble out of you. The sound of it warms Joel’s soul, he’d do anything in his power to hear it again.

Joel sighs “Really Tommy?”

“What? I’m just joking around” he smirks

“No, he’s not, not yet anyways” you chuckle smiling at Joel.

“Here darlin’ come look at the menu, gotta know what you like before we order”

“Oh I’m easy to get a long with. I like cheese, but honestly I’ll be happy with what you guys get, you don’t have to order special stuff for me”

“Nonsense gotta make sure you’re happy too” Joel smiles

Tommy comes back from the other room “alright I placed the order but I ordered a shit ton of food, like probably too much” he says chuckling.

“But I w’anted t’make sure everyone had somethin’ they liked.”

“I can go with you to pick it up, to help you grab it all if you’d like” you offer with a nervous smile. Trying your hardest to be helpful and figure out your place in this dynamic.

You don’t see it but Joel smiles at your gesture, loving your caring nature.

“Sure I’d love that sweetheart, plus I can give you pointers on how to annoy the shit outta my brother”

You catch a glimpse of Joel rolling his eyes.

“O-only if that’s ok with you?” You say nervously.

“Oh darlin’ of course, I wasn’t rolling’ my eyes at you” he says lightly resting his hand on your lower back.

Joel’s eyes are comically large when you and Tommy get back to the house, both with arm fulls of food.

“Jesus you guys leave any food for the rest of the city?”

That laugh Joel loves so much bubbles up out of you again, his heart beating faster the minute he hears it.

“Uh don’t look at me he’s the one that ordered the food” you say pointing at Tommy.

“Don’t look at me, the sweets we’re all her idea” Tommy says as Joel takes the bakery stuff out of the bag.

“I mean the least I could do was buy us desert” you shrug

Joel glanced up at you as he pulls out a second box from the bakery”

“But I-ah might of gotten a little carried away” you laugh at the sheer amount of stuff spread out over the counter.

The three of you all fill up plates with various items and sit down to bond over dinner.

You learn that Tommy is staying with Joel while he works on remolding the house he bought on that weekends.

You all grab your drinks and head to the living room.

“Make your self at home and sit where ever you’d like darlin’” Joel says as he plops down on the couch.

“Do you guys normally have particular places you sit. I-I don’t want to take anyone’s spot”

To Joel you’re so cute and considerate in this moment.

“Nah not really, sit where ever you’re comfortable”

You think for a moment about what do to before you sit next to Joel on the couch.

“I-I it ok to sit here? If you want more space I can sit on the other end.”

“Absolutely it’s ok sweetheart” Joel says with the kindest smile as his big brown eyes meet yours.

“Was hoping you’d feel comfortable sittin’ next to me”

Tommy follows a few beats behind the two of you juggling the bakery treats and his beer before snagging what he wanted and plopped down in the recliner next to the couch.

You and Joel bump hands reaching for the same treat, an over sized chocolate chip cookie loaded with big chocolate chunks.

A nervous giggle escapes you. “ where you going for the giant cookie too?”

“I’ts ok go ahead”

“Oh no it’s ok”

“Really darlin’ I insist”

You grab the cookie breaking it in half.

“Here I’ll split it with you” you say holding out half of it to him.

“Sweetheart you don’t have to do that”

“Really it’s ok, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t share” you say nervous chuckling.

Fuck. I can’t believe I just told him I liked him. Way to be weird.

Taking the half and laughing Joel retorts “ It’s ok, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have taken it” as he nudges you with his shoulder.

Joel glances over at you part way through the third movie to see you curled up and passed out on the couch next to him. You look so peaceful and comfortable in this moment that he can’t help but smile fondly at you as he pulls a blanket from the back of the couch over you.

Tommy catches a glimpse of Joel tending to you and he can’t help but smile. It’s been a long time since he’s seen his brother like this, seen this happiness in his eyes and a genuine laugh come out of him. Joel’s been a different person since Sarah passed away, more guarded and closed off. But he sees a small change in him since he met you. He can see Joel starting to peek his head out of the gate to the fortress he’s built around himself with you around.

Joel: Hey. It’s Joel y/n gave me your number incase I ever needed to get ahold of you. Just wanted to let you know she fell asleep during movie night on the couch. I covered up and left a water on the coffee table for her. Just didn’t want you to worry if she didn’t turn up tonight. I’m gonna leave her a note next to her phone on the coffee table so she’s not scared when she wakes up.

Stacey: Thank you for texting me Joel. Because I would have been worried if she just didn’t show up. Thank you for taking care of her. Please never hesitate to reach out if you need me.

Joel: Have a good night sweetheart

Stacey: oh Joel one more thing

Stacey: she doesn’t trust people easily. She also doesn’t just fall asleep just anywhere like this….actually she has a hard time sleeping in general. This means she’s comfortable with/ trusts you. Please don’t take this for granted.

——————————————————————

You wake up to the smell of coffee and the sound of hushed chatter.

“ Jesus Tommy, be quiet your gonna wake her up”

As your sitting up slowly from the unfamiliar couch it hits you. Fuck, you fell asleep at Joel’s.

You notice a note next to your phone

“Don’t be scared, nothing happened. You just fell asleep during the movie so I covered you up and left you be. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning

-Joel

You only have a few moments to enjoy the thought of Joel caring for you before the embarrassment comes crashing down.

You fell asleep on a date, who does that!

And further more there’s actually no way this is a date. Why would this man want to date you?

You get up shoving the note in your pocket, gather your things and slowly and quietly make your way to the kitchen.

Tommy notices you standing awkwardly in the door way when he looks up for pouring his coffee.

“Oh would ya look at who woke up, mornin sweetheart” he says offering you a sweet smile.

Joel turns around from his place at the stove, eyes lighting up when he sees you.

“Morning darlin’ would you like some breakfast or coffee? I just s’tarted cookin’”

“N-no…I should go, it’s ok. Um Tommy c-could you give me a ride home?” You manage to squeak out, your voice sounding almost strained as you fight to hold back the tears trying to breach the dam.

You look away, unable to take the disappointment in Joel’s big brown eyes.

It was only a matter of time before he figured out you were a disappointment anyways.

“Oh um ‘course I can sweetheart no problem. Go ahead, I’ll be right out”

Joel just looks at home, eyes filled with defeat.

“It’s ok brother, I’ll talk to her. I can tell she’s feelin a bit anxious”

“I-I feel so bad, I hope she’s not embarrassed. I was happy to have her here, but I know it’s jarring waking up in someone else’s house”

Tommy finds you sitting in his truck, hunched over with your head on your hands and a small piece of paper in your lap.

“What’s that in your lap?” Tommy asked

You don’t even look up as you had him the small note. Tommy noticed the small wet stains in the note as he takes it from you.

A few beats of silence pass. “ oh sweetheart you y’dont have t’cry, this note is truthful”

“It’s not even that”

“I just want to go home”

“No problem sweetheart…just know you can talk to me bout anything anytime. Joel too.”

The ride across town back to your place is silent, your head rested on the window, blankly staring out. You’re mind feels like a hurricane swirling around, thinking of every situation that could happen from you falling a sleeping, thinking of everything you could of said, should of said. You’re zoned out so much you don’t notice that Tommy has pulled into your drive way. When you stay still and don’t get out Tommy breaks the silence.

“Y’alright sweetheart? Y’want to talk about anything? I’ll sit here all day if I need too.” He says, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You’re silent for a few more beats.

“I really fucked things up. Who falls asleep on a date? And before you say anything, no I don’t really think we were on a date because someone like your brother doesn’t want to date me. I’m just so fucking embarrassed. I might as well just prepare myself now for the fact that I likely won’t see either one of you much after this, before I get attached and think you guys want me around because I have a habit of misreading situations and peoples intentions.” You manage to choke out before the tears start flowing.

You go to open the door but Tommy stops you.

“Aww sweetheart hold on a minute. Breaks my heart seeing you like this and I know it would break Joel’s too.”

“It’s ok, Tommy… I know I’m not for everyone. My disorders drive most people away, I’m pretty used to it at this point in my life.”

“ I understand more than you might think… when I came back from the military, I was much different than when I went in. I have PTSD, my anxiety and depression were at an all time high, I can’t do most loud booming noises and the weirdest things trigger me and I spiral into a flash back. The one person who’s been there for me through it all and never once left my side or complained is Joel. Even when he was going through the most horrific moment of his life when he lost Sarah, he never once wavered in his support when I needed it. Long story short, he’s not put off by you or by you falling asleep or by any of your issues. He thinks your awesome, and so do I. Neither of us are messing with you. And I don’t want to speak for him but I’m pretty sure he was hoping last night was a date” Tommy says nudging you playfully at the last part.

“But seriously sweetheart if you ever need to talk. I’m here for you.”

“Thank you Tommy, truly. That means the world to me. I know I really should be kinder to myself but I’m just used to people being around when they want something or it’s convenient for them.”

“Do you wanna come back to the house with me?”

“I do but will it be weird? Will Joel want me to come back?”

“Sweetheart I’m pretty sure he’d let you stay as long as you were comfortable, but I can text him”

“Ok… I’d like to run inside and get changed if that’s ok?”

“I’ll wait as long as you need”

——————————————————-

Tommy: y/n and I talked for a while, she’s alright. She’s just embarrassed and having some trouble but she’s not freaked out by you at all.

Joel: I feel so bad she feels that way. But I’m glad I didn’t freak her out. She’s such a sweetheart.

Tommy: I offered to bring her back to the house to see you and she seems to want to, she’s just concerned you wouldn’t want her to. She’s just inside changing her clothes, I said I’d text you and give you a heads up.

Joel: if she wants to come back with you please bring her back. I want to see her.

Tommy: don’t tell her I told you but she called last night a date than took it back because she got scared calling it that but I told her you were hoping it was a date so do with that what you’d like.

————————————————————-

Stacey is standing right inside the door peeking out the window, which jumps you as you swing the door open.

“Why’d he bring you home? I though you were going to be hanging out with the other one?”

“Oh…Tommy lives with Joel”

“Wait…are you ok? Have you been crying?” Stacey says concerned as she reaches out grabbing your arm.

“Yea ugh I’m alright, I fell asleep last night during movie night and woke up and was really embarrassed and asked Tommy if he could give me a ride home because I just couldn’t face Joel.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you, sorry if I worried you”

“Well I would of been really worried but Joel actually texted me, to let me know you were alright and that you had fallen asleep”

“Wait… he did?”

“He was worried that I’d be worried if you didn’t come home. The dude seems like a stand up guy”

“Wait so why is Tommy still here?”

“Well I had a break down on the way here and him and I had a good talk, he asked if I wanted yo go back to the house with him so I’m going up go back over there and talk to Joel. I just wanted to change.”

—————————————————————-

“Y’know it’s been along time since I’ve seen Joel light up t’way he does when he sees you. Losing Sarah really took a lot outta him, but I see his old self startin’ to come out when he’s around you.”

Tommy says turning to you at the red light.

Tommy sees you smile from the corner of his eye as the light turns green again.

“I-I honestly don’t know what to say to that.. and not in a bad way. I guess I’m just surprised. But honestly there’s just something about your brother, something that I can’t really explain. Sigh. Like I just knew right away that I could trust him, I mean I knew right away I could trust you too. But there’s just something about him that’s calming like I’m relaxed and at ease when I’m around him almost as if he sees me, like really sees me for who I am.”

When you and Tommy pull into the drive way Joel comes right out on to the porch, you can’t help the huge smile that tugs at your lips when you see him. You light up when your close enough for him to see you smiling and offered you a cute wave as Tommy puts the truck in park. Joel comes right down the steps and opens the truck door for you.

“H-hey sweetheart…m’happy you came back”

“Well I’m happy you wanted me to come back”

You barely get the words out of your mouth before Joel’s wrapping you in a tight embrace, you don’t hold back hugging him back just as tightly. It’s hard to tell who needed the hug more, you or him.

“Y’know y’can talk to me bout anything, whatever’s going on at any moment. I’ll never judge you. I want to be there for you.” Joel says just loud enough for you to hear, even though Tommy had already gone inside.

“I know, and I want you to know I do trust you. I just get really in my head sometimes because I’ve thought of every way a situation could go wrong instead of seeing the good, sometimes all I can focus on are the what ifs.”

“I’ll be as patient as you need sweetheart, never feel pressured and if there’s something your more comfortable talking to Tommy about in the moment I know he’d be there for you too.”

All you can do is tilt your head up, your glossy hazel eyes meeting his big brown one. It’s almost as if time stops in this moment. Joel wants to kiss you, my god does he want to kiss you and never let you go. He wants to wash away all your fear and anxiety. To hold you and give you the world.

Tag list:

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@fandomwhored @hiddenbabynyc l

@goldenhxurs

#tommy miller #fanfic #the last of us #tommy miller x reader #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #soft!joel miller #neurodivergent #joel miller x f!reader

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lvrdrafts · 11 months

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The Snakes Bite Part 2

Summary : Bucky tries to forget the breakup so he goes on a mission where finds some new shocking intel on his broken relationship

Warnings : Nothing rlly

A/N : fluff ending for a past blog

Part 1

Bucky's heart still felt heartbroken knowing that the person who he thought he would get married cheated on him. Sam was supposed to come in a few minutes to get a coffee and Bucky was trying his best not to cry.

He heard the door open and go up quickly. "Hey Bucky you left the door open, I mean I know your confident with that Terminator arm but-" Sam stops his tracks when he sees Bucky's eyes are red. "What happend" Sam rushes to Bucky giving him a hug which caught Bucky off guard. "Y/N cheated- I wasn't good enough to keep Steve or her." Sam looks at Bucky with sympathy "Hey Buck how about we go on a mission to get out mind of this situation" Bucky nods silently. 'I actually came here to tell you that there is this Russian wannabe hydra mob group that has a 'secret weapon' so our job is to find out what it is and stop them".

Bucky hesitated, his mind still clouded by his belief that you had betrayed him. But the prospect of a new mission provided a temporary respite from his torment, and he agreed to accompany Sam.

Their mission took them deep into the heart of Moscow, where a notorious Russian mob was wreaking havoc on the city. Bucky's focus shifted to the task at hand as he and Sam navigated the treacherous underworld, determined to find out what was this secret weapon, trying his hardest not to think about you.

Upon infiltrating the base, Bucky and Sam discovered a hidden room—a makeshift digital lab where the mob orchestrated their malicious schemes. As they examined the equipment, Bucky's eyes widened in disbelief. Strewn across the room were monitors displaying the very photo that had shattered his relationship with you.

"Oh my gosh they were gonna brain wash you like Hydra but with different words so they-" Bucky starts shaking his head "No, no, no it was fake no and i actually believed it. They were just trying to break me apart and-" "Hey Buck" Sam puts his hand on Bucky's shoulder "you can explain this to Y/N and im sure she will understand, trust me but first we go to get out of here"

Bucky's breath caught in his throat as he realized the extent of the deception. The mob had not only manipulated the photo but had also orchestrated a meticulously planned setup to deceive him. The weight of his misplaced accusations hit him like a tidal wave, and the realization of his own mistakes filled him with regret.

With a mix of fury and determination, Bucky shared the newfound evidence with Sam. "Sam, they set me up. They photoshopped the photo and used it to tear us apart. Y/N was telling the truth all along." Bucky and Sam rush out of the base taking hard drive with all that information with them too, they got onto the plane and headed back to New York.

Arriving at the doorstep, Bucky hesitated before knocking, his emotions overwhelming him. When the door finally opened, revealing your tear-stained face, a mix of surprise and cautious hope flickered in their eyes.

Bucky's voice trembled as he spoke, his remorse palpable. "Y/N, please forgive me. I made a terrible mistake. The photo, the accusations—I believed them without question. But I've discovered the truth. The photo was fake, and I should have trusted you."

Your eyes widened in a mix of disbelief and vulnerability. "Yeah I know that it was fake, I'm just suprised you didn't believe me after three years together"

Bucky's heart sank, tears welling up in his eyes. He understood the gravity of his mistake and the lasting impact it had on their relationship. The weight of his remorse was overwhelming. Bucky falls down on his knees "Please-" you hear Bucky's voice crack "I thought I wasn't- I'm not good enough for you so it would make sense if you would cheat on me with a guy who doesn't have trauma and grumpy and-". You go down on your knees and start to cry while hugging Bucky "Baby you were always good enough if anything I thought that I wasn't good enough"

Bucky's eyes lit up with hope, a renewed sense of determination shining through. "Your too good for me baby. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. I'll be patient, understanding, and I'll show you every day how much you mean to me."

Y/N took a step forward, closing the distance between them. They reached out, gently cupping Bucky's face. As their lips met in a tender, heartfelt kiss, the weight of their past mistakes faded away. In the quiet solitude of the apartment, Bucky and Y/N found solace in each other's arms. On that day on they stopped hiding their emotions and were open on how they felt.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #bucky x y/n #winter soldier x y/n #bucky x y/n angst #bucky x reader fluff #bucky x reader angst

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sweetcarrotsandroses97 · 10 months

Text

Before You Go | MYG

Pairing: producer! best friend! yoongi x best friend! fem! reader

Summary: Life is taken for granted. People like to kill time not knowing it is time who is killing them. Love is not always a medicine, fate is always cruel. Or in which Yoongi realised his mistakes too late and was sentenced to live with an empty soul. There are times in which you can't always be there. He knew he was too late.

Warnings: ANGST, so much angst guys, medical terms, terminal sickness, argument, fainting, character death, more angst, feelings of guilt and desperation. (Let me know if I missed anything!)

A/N: Soooo, this was originally planned to be a drabble but it escalated so, hehe here it is! Also, I'm still working on the next part of Four Seasons. It'll be a long chapter so please bear with me.

Please let me know what you thought of this in the comments! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Word Count: 5.1k

"Three months at the most."

Said the doctor. You looked at him. No emotion marked your beautiful features. You blinked. A second passed. Then another and another. The world continued on its normal course while your sentence was already dictated. It almost seemed comical.

"There is, of course, a surgery we could perform on your brain. But I'm afraid it will only allow you to live for a year, year and a half if we are lucky. But it'd be dangerous. Even performing a biopsy is risky in your condition, Miss Lee."

You took a deep breath, your hand clutched your purse as it rested in your lap. The tickling of the clock was driving you insane, you wanted to leave your doctor's office, you wanted to run, to scream, to cry but your body was frozen in place.

A soft smile plastered on your face, the only reaction you could fathom at the moment.

"Thank you, Doctor Kim. I'll... I'll think about it."

He stood up, towering over you as he said with a nod. His hand extended to shake yours.

"Please, do so. Come in a few weeks if you start having headaches."

You nodded, shaking his hand as you also stood up.

"I will. Have a good day, Doctor Kim."

Your hand left his and you turned around to leave. Your feet carrying you out of the room that suddenly felt too small. You only wanted to go back to your flat and curl on your bed.

In a monotonous way you paid for the appointment at the reception of the hospital. Your eyes didn't focus on anything in particular while also noticing everything at the same time.

You walked slowly through the busy streets, the evening sun kissing your skin. The steps you took were automatic, you allowed your legs to take you home while in your mind there was only space for the doctor's words.

"Three months at the most."

That phrase repeated itself over and over again in your head. How you wished to just be home right now however, you decided to not take a cab, you wanted to enjoy the walk. Admire nature as you pass by the park and feel the sun in your skin.

Rarely did you ever pay attention to all those little things. Details that gave colour to your life. Details you were never able to forget. Not until it would happen and you'd leave this place. But you still had some time. Three months was too much.

Or that was what you thought.

~ 73 days later.

"You are hiding something from me!"

Yoongi exclaimed. Your heart clenched at the words coming out of your best friend's mouth. It hurt. It hurt to not tell him. For you to leave him in the dark. For him to think you weren't being honest with him.

You both had been friends for so long you couldn't count the days any longer.

"I'm not! Don't you trust me? We've been friends for so long, Yoongi!"

He sighed, wetting his lips as he tried to form words with his muddy thoughts swirling all over his head. He wasn't stupid. You'd been acting weird as of lately. You often gave him excuses of why you didn't want to leave your flat and when you both would go out he'd notice things.

He'd always notice when something was bothering you, when you were in pain, when too many thoughts were going on through your head. He knew you. Probably better than he knew himself.

All those little suspicions, the strange headaches you'd have only for later to vanish into thin air. The way you looked paler than usual, how you were overly tired.

He had noticed.

Yoongi would be a fool to not acknowledge the signs happening in front of his eyes. Yet his mind couldn't get a conclusion. Instead he was blinded by worry over you. Worry expressed as anger. As desperation. As frustration.

"It is you who is not trusting me, (y/n)! I know something's going on. And I will figure it out whether you like it or not."

"I do trust you."

Your voice sounded so hurt and small with those four words whispered out. Tears clouded your vision but you didn't fight back the moisture in your eyes. You kept looking at him in desperation.

Couldn't he just let it pass?

Apparently not. Yoongi was a stubborn man. If he wanted something, he got it. One way or another. But how would you tell him you were dying? How would you tell your best friend you didn't have much time to live? He had planned on taking you on vacation together after he had signed a good contract with a singer.

He promised to treat you to ice cream next Sunday. You promised that you'd be with him forever. You had been with him forever. In everything he had ever accomplished you had been there. You had been there to dry his tears and smile with him. to celebrate his victories and advise him during hard times.

You had always been there. Always by his side. Always in his life.

Did you have the right to take that away from him?

You were a coward. Yes. You knew that yourself. A part of you didn't want to acknowledge the fact that you were dying. And it hurt so much when Yoongi couldn't see further than his own assumptions. He didn't see you as someone he could trust anymore. He thought you were hiding something from him. Which, technically, you were.

Never in your life had you ever hidden something from him. That was why it hurt him so much when he realised there was something going on in your life that was taking a toll on you and he didn't know.

Yoongi ran a hand through his dark hair, his gaze softened slightly at the sound of your delicate voice. So vulnerable. So hurt. It wasn't like you to talk like that.

But despite his heart clenching at the sight of your tears, his next words cut you deeper than any knife could ever harm you. Not even the doctor's words three months ago had hurt as much as Yoongi's words.

"It doesn't seem like it. But if you don't want to tell me, fine. Take your secrets to your grave, I don't care."

Take your secrets to your grave.

If only he knew you were already standing above it. If only he had known those words had made your heart shatter in such a way you couldn't even fathom to say something, if only he knew there was more that met his sight.

If only he knew.

You didn't say anything. Silent tears were running down your cheeks. This was it. The tread you feared would ever break. He had broken it when you were already so sick, when your days were numbered. He had broken a friendship of years with a single sentence.

You were to blame too. If you hadn't been so scared, this argument would have never happened. This gap wouldn't exist. You are to blame too. You are at fault too. You ruined his trust, played with his emotions, wasted his time. All for what? So that you could keep a secret that would eventually come out?

But now it was too late.

Yoongi didn't want to hear anything else. You opened your mouth to say something. Anything at all. But the words died in your throat, shot down by his disappointed declaration instead.

"I'm leaving. I need some space to think."

Your hands trembled as they hung next to you limply. You were losing him. Yoongi, who was your closest friend, your best friend. The closest thing you ever had of a family. The man who owned your heart in more ways than he thought.

You lost him.

He wasn't going to intrude where he wasn't welcome. He wasn't going to push you. If you weren't going to trust him, there was no point in him staying in a place he no longer felt welcomed.

Yoongi turned around and left, not allowing you to say a single word. He wished you had stopped him. He wished you had walked over to him and grabbed his wrist, pleading him to listen. For you to tell him whatever was happening that made you hide it.

He wanted to know.

He needed to know.

Because his heart screamed a name he didn't want to recognise. His soul yearned for the touch of a woman he was yet to take into account. His mind was busy with thoughts of you. Memories of you. Plans with you.

But he didn't know what it meant. He didn't know what he so deeply desired. Needed. So he left.

Yoongi left you to yourself, your front door shut and you were alone. Alone for good. Left behind. Abandoned. Everyone has a limit and Yoongi has gotten to that limit.

He said he needed space to think. Space to be on his own. Time to think if your friendship was worthy of keeping or if he had to let it go. Despite the pain his soul would suffer and the wrecked heart he'd have to endure.

Sometimes it's better to just let go.

But he didn't know what he was letting go. He didn't know anything. Yoongi left without answers and you stayed with a broken heart.

It's been a week since that argument. There had been no calls or texts from Yoongi. And you weren't going to get in contact first either. He wanted space, you'd give him that. He wanted time, you'd give him what you had left.

You sat in front of your desk, soft rain pattered over the glass. It was calming. Soothing in a way. A pen rested in your hand as words were being scribbled down on a sheet of paper addressed to him. To Yoongi.

You were giving him all the time you had for him to come back. But just in case you ran out of it, you wanted to explain everything to him. He deserved to know. You realised that now. He had deserved to know since the very beginning.

But you were scared. You had been selfish. You chose to live in a fantasy when reality clawed its way through you, tearing you apart in your little safe world that you wish would come true. But wishes never come true. There are no happy endings for liars. There is no mercy to change your fate.

You put the letter on an envelope with Yoongi's name written on the front. It was a letter only for his eyes to read and his mind to comprehend. It was for his mind to keep and his heart to treasure. Only for him. Always for him.

You stood up, the destination of your bedroom in mind as you were feeling tired. It wasn't unusual these days. The naps you took were getting longer and longer. You knew one day you might as well not wake up again.

But fate wasn't that merciful. You took a step, a single step forward only to have a piercing ache in your head that made you hiss. You shut your eyes, trying to get it to pass but it didn't work. If only it only got stronger with each passing second.

Your hands clasped at your scalp, fingers pulling your hair in a desperate need of relief.

The realisation hit you stronger than a train. You needed help. And you needed it fast. You stumbled towards the coffee table, the only goal in your mind was to get your phone and call for help. Something was wrong. Very wrong. You knew it. You felt it. You couldn't ignore it anymore.

With a shaking hang you reached for your phone, you didn't even bother to unlock it as you pressed the emergency call button. It rang and rang and rang, the pain continued to increase, your vision blurred.

You prayed to the skies that the person on the other line would answer. It was your only chance. The last straw to life you clawed at desperately. But it rang again and again and again and you couldn't help thinking that perhaps this was it.

Yoongi came back from the bathroom in his studio, he had been working on some new beats he wanted to try out in the near future. He had been keeping himself busy with work so as to not think about the fight he had with you a week ago.

A part of him wished you'd call him or text him but he knew you too well. If he had asked for space you were going to give him that. This was probably the worst fight you two had ever had throughout your years of friendship

He sat back down in front of the large computer screen, putting on his headphones. Yoongi continued with his work.

It wasn't until out of the corner of his eyes he saw the phone's screen lighten up. He didn't have to look at it to know someone was calling him. He sighed, taking the headphones off and saving the file with his music before he blindly picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

But there was silence. No-one answered back and for a moment, Yoongi thought it was one of those scam calls he always blocked. But before he could hang up, his name reached his ear in your whispered voice.

"Yoongi..."

He knew something was wrong the moment the first syllable reached him. He frowned, leaning forward in his chair as he tried to listen to your voice.

"(y/n)? What's wrong? Are you alright?"

The fight he had with you vanished from his thoughts as they were clouded with worry for you. He was getting scared, never in your life had you called him in such a state that it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up with nerves.

You whimpered, pressing the phone close to your ear. The pain in your head was getting stronger and stronger that you couldn't speak.

"(y/n)?"

Your best friend's voice came from the other side of the phone, if you hadn't been so blinded by the white pain pressing on your skull you would have noticed the concern in his deep voice.

"(y/n), you are scaring me, what's going on?"

Yoongi stood up from his chair, grabbing his car keys in a hurry.

"H-help me."

When you dialled your emergency contact you didn't remember you had saved Yoongi's number there.

Those two words were enough to have him bolting out of the door. The destination of your place carved in his mind as he left the building.

He kept his phone pressed to his ear as he ran through the studio. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he thought it would leave his body. Adrenaline pumped in his veins. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

The fact itself scared him, because that something had to do with you. He felt as if the building was larger than normal. Like in those nightmares as he tried to reach the exit but it got further and further away. This had to be a nightmare, right?

He heard your gasp through the phone unaware of the fact that you had fallen to your knees in your apartment, your other hand clutching your head in a vice grip.

"(y/n/n) talk to me. I need you to say something. Please."

Yoongi reached the door and pulled on the handle with more force than was needed. He stepped outside, inhaling the humid air as the soft drizzle tapped against his form.

"I'm sorry."

He yanked the car door open and got inside, one hand was on the steering wheel while the other still held his phone against the side of his face.

"It's alright, (y/n). I'm on my way, okay? Just hold on, I'll be there in a second."

But you didn't hear those words from him. There was a ringing in your ears that took hold of your senses, the phone slipped from your grasp as you fell to the ground over the soft carpet with a dry sound. You closed your eyes, allowing the pain to take you in its claws of darkness as you surrendered yourself to it.

You had been fighting for so long. A little nap wouldn't harm you. You slipped into unconsciousness with the last thought in your mind being: Yoongi.

The man who you were previously speaking to fell into a frenzy when he heard the sound of the phone colliding with your carpeted floor. The hand on the wheel tightened to the point where his knuckles turned white.

"Darling, answer me please! Say something."

But he could only hear your laboured breaths from the other line. He ended the call and threw his phone on the passenger's seat. A curse leaving his lips. If the circumstances had been different, he would have blushed when the nickname escaped his lips but he couldn't fight it in a moment like this. He couldn't help the fear, the anxiety, the stress, the guilt from controlling his mind.

From making him act the way he was. He pressed on the gas and accelerated into the street. Not caring if he got a ticket for the speed limit, not caring if he drenched the bypassers with his car, not caring for anything else other than getting to you.

Tears of desperation began forming in his dark eyes but he blinked them back. It was not the time to cry. Not now. Not when you needed him. Not when you were in danger. Not when you had called him to help you. Not when his heart yearned to have you, feel you, touch you.

Not now.

Yoongi arrived at your flat in record time. With his heart thumping in his chest and his hands trembling, he stepped out of the car. He didn't even bother to lock it behind him as he was already running up the stairs that led to your apartment.

He used his spare key, one he was immensely grateful you had given him. Not bothering to knock or to take his shoes off he barged into the place like a desperate man. He was a desperate man.

Desperate to see you fine, to find you healthy, for you to be alright.

But his world came crumbling down like a paper plane when he saw you laying over the grey carpet, your phone by your side. You weren't moving.

For a moment he couldn't move. The patterning of the rain against the window drowned him in an ocean of tears he was keeping inside his soul. The quietness of your flat wasn't normal, you were always humming to yourself, playing some music. Doing something.

But as he saw you laying there, limp and cold, Yoongi's heart shattered into a million pieces.

He was brought out of his trance by some miracle, he found himself at your side the next second. His hands wouldn't stop shaking as he pulled your shoulder to lay you flat against the floor.

"(y/n)?"

But you didn't react. It almost seemed as if you were sleeping. The rise and fall from your chest was the only indication to Yoongi that you had only fainted. The circumstances as to why were still unknown to him.

His hand cradled your cheek, trying to get a reaction out of you. Something. Anything at all. But you were long gone in the world of darkness.

In a mere second, he was able to recall your call with him. You sounded in pain. Hurt. There was something that had led to your current state. Something that needed medical attention.

His hands slipped under your body and he stood up; an arm beneath your shoulders and the other supporting the back of your knees. Yoongi walked towards his car in long and hurried steps. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. His stomach churned with nerves.

If you hadn't called him, how much time would have passed until someone eventually found you? He couldn't think of that possibility. He decided to focus on the now, on the fact that he had you in his arms, that he had found you, that you were going to be okay. You had to be. For his sanity.

The soft rain wasn't enough to drench you or him as he made his way towards his parked car. With as much care as he could muster and with some tricky manoeuvre he managed to sit you in the passenger's seat and strap you to it.

Your head lulled to the side and his hand, once more, found home against the side of your face. In any other situation Yoongi would have thought that you were merely sleeping. To a point you were.

Have you always been this beautiful?

He thought to himself before he shook himself out of those thoughts and walked around the car, getting into the driver's seat and speeding off to the hospital.

One hand was on the steering wheel while the other one clasped yours tightly. It was a way to ground himself. To ground his thoughts and remember that you were there, that you'd be fine. That you were with him.

If someone had asked Yoongi before today when he had been the most patient he'd have answered when he had to download one of his large files.

But now, now as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for news about you was the time when his patience got tested.

How he wished to just enter into the room where the doctor was checking you. He needed to know what was going on. What had happened to you.

He needed to know that everything was going to be fine.

In his desperation, he called one of his friends, Hoseok and explained the situation with a lump forming at the back of his throat.

"She'll be fine, Yoongi. She's a tough girl. I'm sure it's nothing serious but I'll be there in thirty minutes in case you need anything."

That was what Hoseok had said over the line. He had met you on a few occasions, more than a few to be honest. The sweet man came to know that you were a beautiful woman with a kind heart and he respected too much the friendship Yoongi had with you.

"Is anyone here for Lee (y/n)?"

A doctor said with a clipboard in his hands. Yoongi immediately got up. His legs carrying him to the man dressed in a white coat, his eyes were red with unshed tears.

"I brought her here. Please, is she alright?"

The doctor let out a sigh that made alarm bells ring in his head.

"You better come with me."

Yoongi swallowed yet the lump in his throat only got bigger and bigger with each passing second, with each step he took behind the doctor. He stopped in front of a door, presumably your room before he spoke, his tone professional with a hint of sorrow for the broken man in front of him.

"(y/n)'s condition worsened too much in the last week. I'm surprised how quickly it deteriorated. The tumour in her brain got to the amygdala, that was what caused her immense pain resulting in her to lose consciousness."

The tumour in her brain...

...what?

"What... what do you mean with "the tumour in her brain"? She... Is she-"

So many thoughts were racing through his mind too quickly he began to feel nauseous. You were sick? All this time you had been sick? Is this what you had been hiding? The doctor sighed yet again as he spoke once more, his voice sombre this time.

"I believe she never told you."

Yoongi shook his head. Too in shock to utter a word. He felt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart. He'd bet that a stab wound would hurt less than this. The sole thought of losing you was heartbreaking enough but he couldn't help but feel like shit when the argument he had on your flat repeated itself in his mind over and over and over again.

Like a broken record player.

In a mocking manner.

With sadistic intentions.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Mr. Min."

A tear rolled down Yoongi's cheek slowly.

"Will she be alright?"

The world might as well end now because the younger man couldn't fathom the idea of existing. Not after the doctor's next words.

"I'm sorry. She was never a candidate for surgery, we detected the tumour too late. She isn't conscious right now but you might as well go in. I don't think she'd be able to hold on for much longer."

He hadn't expected that. He was supposed to be told you hadn't been taking your meals or you were dehydrated to the point in which you fainted. You weren't supposed to be dying. And what was worse was that he had never known.

For how long have you known of your condition?

Why did you hide it from him?

Why didn't you let him support you?

Yoongi entered your room without another word leaving his lip. He nearly collapsed at the sight of you. Pale and weak lying in a hospital bed. An IV tube was attached to your hand. Your eyes were closed.

He sat on the chair next to your bed. His trembling hands reached out for your smaller one. Why wouldn't his hands stop shaking?

"Why didn't you tell me, (y/n)?"

Those whispered words were meant for your ears only but they never reached you. You couldn't react to his stimuli even if you wanted to. your limp hand in his made tears cloud his vision and this time, he didn't hold them back.

"This was it, wasn't it? This was what you were hiding from me, right?"

He wished you'd just move, he wished you would open your eyes and gaze at him like all those times before. He wished he could hear your voice. At least one last time.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for shouting at you that day. Y-you didn't deserve that."

If he could turn back time he'd make everything different.

"Please, (y/n/n). Please open your eyes."

If only he had been more observant.

"You cannot leave me now. Not now. Not like this."

If only he hadn't been so selfish and distanced himself from you.

"I cannot live without you, (y/n)."

If only he had been there.

"Please."

If only he had been a better friend. The best friend you deserved. The best friend you needed.

"Please don't leave me."

If only he had said the words when you could hear them. If only he hadn't taken your time for granted.

"I beg you, darling. Please don't go. Please."

Hoseok ran through the halls, the number of the room you were at was engraved in his mind for he knew Yoongi was by your side. His hand grabbed the door handle and he twisted it.

What Hoseok saw after opening that door was never going to leave his memories. A sight for his eyes to never forget.

Yoongi was grasping your hand so tightly his knuckles were white. His eyes were red and puffy as tears leaked from his dark orbs, like endless rivers of absolute and utter pain. The sound of his sobs reached Hoseok's ears. A flat line in the background.

"S-she's... she's gone. She's g-gone, Hobi."

Hoseok could only watch in horror. Never in his life had he seen Min Yoongi look so broken. So empty. Never had he cried in such a way. The sight was painful enough that tears made their way to his own eyes.

Yoongi's sobs were like poisonous arrows dripping with the blood of his wounded heart. An irreparable wound. Shattered pieces of his very own soul.

Hoseok took slow steps toward his friend until he was able to rest a hand over his shoulder.

"She didn't suffer, Yoongi. You were by her side, you allowed her to go in peace."

But those words did little to console him. He couldn't stop thinking about the "what if's". He couldn't stop the blame to gnaw at his already broken heart.

"I-I never told her, Hobi. I was a coward and I... I never fucking told her."

Hoseok's heart clenched at the pain laced in his friend's words. His pale hand grabbed yours with more strength, if that was even possible. As if he could prevent you from leaving him when you were already gone.

"I never told her that I loved her!"

Hi Yoongs, I hope you are alright.

How's life going on for you?

If you are reading this letter it probably means I am no longer with you and I'm so sorry that I had to leave you behind but as you may already know, I had no choice.

This was what I had been hiding from you. I am sick. Terminal apparently. There's nothing to be done and I don't want any kind of painful treatment. I decided to let go and enjoy what I had of time.

Please don't blame yourself. I chose not to tell you so that I could experience my life as it was. Normally and by your side.

I may not be there physically but know that I live through your memories. Please don't give up on your dreams because of me and go and do all the things you talked to me about. Fulfil our wishes. Be happy.

I wish you the best.

Thank you for being my best friend. And it is probably the worst way of saying this but I want you to know that I love you. I love you in that way. As in more than a friend. You were the best person that ever crossed paths with me, I didn't want to ruin that friendship.

I now realise that was probably a mistake. I loved you deeply. With all my heart and being. That was why telling you about my condition was more painful than it should have been. Because just as your happiness is my happiness; your pain is also my pain.

I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to say things out of pity. I didn't want that. I wanted to leave in the most normal way I possibly could.

Please know that I love you and I wish you the best in life. I won't be your friend all your life, let alone your lover. I won't live that long. But I will treasure your friendship and love you all my life.

I am part of your life but you are my whole life.

~(y/n).

July/30/2023

~Masterlist

Likes, Comments and Reblogs are really appreciated!!!

**☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕

#yoongi x reader #min yoongi #sweetcarrotsandroses97 #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi x reader #bts fanfic #yoongi #yoongi x reader angst #best friend yoongi #min yoongi x reader angst #love #bts fic #yoongi oneshot #bts #bts angst #bts suga #suga bts #min yoongi x you

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clockwork-ashes · 2 months

Text

All You Have Is Your Fire - Part XI

Find Part I here :)

Summary: 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' For the briefest of moments, Lucien wondered if his mate would know exactly when his heart’s steady rhythm came to a sudden stop.

Note: A huge thank you to the lovely @bettdraws who deserves all the credit for the post that inspired me to start writing this :) Another huge thank you to everyone reading! ALSO please look at this post, I gasped it's so lovely. All of @teddyhoneybear's moodboards are stunning <3

Tag List: @anishake / @nocasdatsgay / @mybestfriendmademe / @talibunny30 / @halfbutneverwhole / @wishfulimaginings / @goldenmagnolias / @emmers-bens123 / @cauldronblssd / @xirose / @rarephloxes / @thehighlordishere

Lucien tried but failed to settle the racing and unsteady beat of his heart.

Like the quick rhythm of hummingbird wings, Lucien could feel his own pulse fluttering softly in his throat. He was unsure of what to expect, what he might be forced to face once again within the walls of his childhood home. The unknowns created a deep sense of dread in his bones, the weight of his own anxiety unbelievably heavy.

Music could be heard, low and lovely, as Lucien led Elain with unhurried steps towards the looming oak doors just ahead of them. It was near haunting, echoing strangely along the empty stone corridors.

Elain walked close to Lucien’s side, each point of contact with him leaving a searing mark. Her arm was hooked through his, her shoulder pressed against him.

Lucien glanced at her briefly. He had thought Elain was devastatingly beautiful from the moment he had laid eyes on her, she was even more so in Autumn colours. The emerald fabric of her dress had a stunning effect on her eyes, darkening them by a few shades so that they looked like earth after a storm. He found that there was something regal about the way Elain held herself, that if she set her mind to it she could convince anyone that she had been born to rule.

Still, Lucien was worried. He did not trust his father, and he trusted his brothers even less. Eris had made it glaringly obvious that Elain’s well-being did not matter, considering he had brought her to Autumn. If anything happened to his mate, Lucien knew he would never be able to forgive himself.

As though she could sense where his thoughts were going, Elain brought her other hand up. Slowly caressing Lucien’s forearm in a gesture meant to comfort, Elain did not look at him before once again taking hold of her skirts.

Lucien’s shock was a shooting star, brief and fleeting. He was still finding it hard to believe that it was Elain’s choice to come for him, that she had considered his life worth the risk of her own.

“Any advice?” Elain’s question was soft as she tilted her head and turned to look up at him. It cut through the music, drawing Lucien’s focus instantly. They had not spoken since the moment they had left their shared suite, Lucien’s hand had been shaking with tiny tremors after having placed the comb in Elain’s hair.

Still walking, Lucien looked into Elain’s dark eyes, captivated. He had to remind himself that she was almost a stranger to him, and yet he felt as though he had always known her.

“I have a whole lifetime’s worth,” he offered her a crooked grin, unsure of what exactly he should tell her.

Elain looked up at him through her long lashes. “Seeing as we don’t have all the time in the world,” her lips tugged up in a small, amused smile. “Try and keep it brief.”

“No matter what anyone in that ballroom says, don’t let it get to you.” His grin faltered at her raised brow, and he wondered how he should phrase his next words so that they made more sense. “They’ll all be testing the waters, seeing if they can get a rise out of you—and me. Don’t let them.”

“Isn’t Autumn fire?” Elain asked, "I would have thought everyone’s emotions were raging.” She blushed suddenly, her cheeks turning a deep scarlet, and she quickly turned to look straight ahead.

Lucien continued to look at her, not wanting his gaze to fall anywhere else. “Just the opposite,” he shook his head, tearing his attention away from the pale column of Elain’s neck. “Our emotions, our reactions, even our flames…” Lucien shrugged, “everything must be tamed.”

Elain hummed in understanding, falling silent as they approached the ballroom.

Lucien glanced at the guards stationed by the entrance, searching their faces, trying to see if he perhaps recognized them. On a phantom wind, the doors swung open, revealing the already filled and busy hall. The music grew louder, the sound of the string instruments full of longing.

Elain pressed closer to Lucien’s side, clutching at his arm tightly. So no one else could hear, Lucien leaned down so that he could whisper. His lips were close to the arch of her ear, not touching her, but he could have sworn that he felt her shiver.

“Don’t worry, Elain.” He murmured, her heart beating faster. She seemed to have stopped breathing as soon as he finished his sentence.

Her name.

Lucien still rushed to reassure her, “I won’t let anything happen to you.” He meant the words more than he had meant anything else in his long life.

Her eyes wide, face tilted like she was his lover, set on placing a kiss on his jaw, Elain nodded. “I know,” she breathed, eyes locked for a moment before they both turned to look ahead.

Together, arms linked, a united front, they entered the room. Elain nearly stumbled, and Lucien tightened his grip on her arm, pausing. He waited, allowing her the opportunity to carefully take in the scene before them.

Looking like a forest, nearly a canopy, waves of High Fae dressed in the various colours of falling leaves gracefully walked along the floor of the ballroom. The incessant thrum of mingling, gossiping, rose above the sound of the music as everyone waited for the arrival of the High Lord.

The sun had fallen, and no light came in from the arched windows that spanned the entire length of the walls. The shimmering chandeliers and the countless fireplaces were lit instead, casting flickering shadows that drew Elain’s attention. Lucien noticed that the musicians had been set up near the table strewn with refreshments and pastries, on the large room’s farthest side.

No one turned to stare, but Lucien could feel eyes on him and Elain. He must look so different to them, and Lucien was struck with the sudden realisation that every faerie here would know his past, regardless if they personally knew him.

It was a terrible relief that Elan was unaware of Lucien’s history, he thought, and that as a result, she would have no expectations of him.

“Well, if it isn’t little Lucien Vanserra,” a female voice spoke from behind him, one that he easily recognized. Fighting the urge to wince, Lucien stiffened as he felt slender fingers trace along his back. He felt as Elain did the same, her spine straightening although she did not turn to see who had approached them.

Instead, Lucien flashed his practised courtier’s smile. “Lethe,” he said, her name rolled off his tongue sharply, familiar.

“Lady Lethe,” she corrected, her answering smile was all poison as she stood in front of them. Light brown hair pinned away from her face, falling in a long straight sheet to her waist, Elain’s eyes tracked Lethe’s every move carefully. In a decision that could only be considered a slight, Lethe did not look at Elain, did not acknowledge her presence. “I have lands to my name now.”

Lucien bowed his head in an apology of sorts. “You have my condolences then, for your husband,” he added. Knowing Lethe, she had probably orchestrated the whole thing, killed the elderly fae she had married and taken everything he had owned after his death. That, at least, Lucien could admire.

Lethe’s pout was dreadful, hardly sad, Lucien observed. “I’m terribly upset by it,” she gestured to her black skirts, the colour of mourning. Flames flared in her eyes. “May the blessed wind take his scattered ashes to only the loveliest of places.”

“Despite whatever ordeal you have been through, I’m glad to see you look well.” Lucien maintained his friendliest smile, an ember of truth in his statement. “You look well, lady, untouched by time and lovely as ever.”

“So kind,” a knowing smile graced Lethe’s sharp features, looking more like she was scowling. “You’ve certainly changed,” her eyes were the colour of dried blood as she took him in, “much more handsome now.”

Lucien felt jealousy shoot through the bond, a rare possessiveness on Elain’s part as she elegantly cleared her throat. Nose in the air, chin held high, she cast a long look at Lethe, drawing the other female’s attention.

With a small sniff, Lethe faced Elain fully. Much to his mate’s credit, she did not back away, matching the noble’s attitude.

Lethe tilted her head, a predator. “Seems like your pretty mate agrees.”

Without missing a beat, Elain responded, voice measured and unbothered. “My mother always said I would marry for beauty.”

Lucien was glad when someone clapped a heavy hand on his back, knowing exactly who it would be before he saw. When it came to Lethe, Kai was never far. Fixtures of his childhood, the two courtiers were his eldest brother’s closest friends.

Lucien had not seen either of them since his exile, and had avoided both Lethe and Kai even if he had been in the Autumn Court on behalf of Tamlin. Eris had trusted them both, not only with his own life, but with Lucien’s as well. Lucien wondered if that was still the case, if Eris was capable of maintaining any type of friendship.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” Kai said, voice loud. “Good to see you, Lucien.” His smile was friendly and sincere, a clever trick to hide how dangerous of a male he truly was. He had always been kind to Lucien, kinder still to Eris, but his reputation in Autumn was one of cruelty. He offered Elain a deep bow, looking up at her with eyes the colour of dead leaves.

Elain dipped into an elegant curtsy, releasing her hold on Lucien’s arm. “Pleasure to meet you,” she offered, never taking her gaze off him.

“Pleasure’s all mine, lady,” with the full force of Kai’s charming smile on his mate, Lucien had to fight the urge not to snarl.

Kai was unbelievably lovely. Dark brown hair fell in loose curls to his shoulders, eyes an even darker shade were framed by sharp brows. He was dressed well, simply but no less flattering, his tan skin near glowing with whatever power he had inherited from his Spring Court mother.

Lucien’s jealousy was ridiculous, considering he had known the male for decades and did not even think Kai was interested in females. Elain pressed closer to Lucien’s side, her hand gently circling his lower back, a lover’s caress.

Kai tracked Elain’s gesture before he turned his attention back to Lucien. “Have you seen your brothers?” He asked, brow raised, Lethe next to him.

“Which ones?” Lucien responded, although he was fairly certain Kai was looking for Eris.

Kai shrugged his broad shoulders, a frown tugging his full lips down. “Any of them, I suppose.”

“Eris came before us, the rest I couldn’t say,” Lucien felt Elain’s unease as she stood on the tips of her toes, attempting to look over everyone’s heads. She was probably searching for Cora, Lucien concluded.

“We’ve yet to see him,” Lethe offered, her nose scrunching in distaste.

Lucien opened his mouth to respond when a sudden hush fell over the large crowd. The musicians came to a natural stop, ending their song beautifully, just as the High Lord and Lady of Autumn gracefully made their way into the room.

His father was handsome in a jacket the exact shade of fresh blood, striking with the small golden crown on his head. His mother walked at Beron’s side, face serious, as they both paused on the area cleared of furniture and nobles in the middle of the room, the dance floor ready.

“Tonight,” the High Lord’s voice boomed, “we celebrate the return of my youngest son.” A glass of wine, a red so deep Lucien nearly flinched at the sight, appeared in his father’s hand. Beron’s smile was sharp as glass as he raised his hand in Lucien and Elain’s direction. “And we welcome his lady, Elain Archeron of Night.” His father took a small sip of wine, indicating he was nearly done, his speech rather short so as not to take away from the festivities. “You and your mate have my blessing, Lucien.”

Elain smiled shyly, tucking a stray curl behind her ear that was both endearing and modest. Already she had fallen into her role perfectly, playing the game of courtiers and nobles well.

The musicians played a cord, settling themselves as they prepared for the first dance of the evening. All eyes were on Lucien and Elain now, waiting, expecting them to take part.

“Might I have this dance?” Lucien said softly, allowing every ounce of his longing to drip into the question, loud enough for those around them to hear.

Lucien could imagine the whispers, travelling swift as a wildfire in the ballroom, all the nobles talking behind their hands about him and Elain.

As Elain’s eyes locked with his, Lucien saw no uncertainty in her gaze. She playfully knocked her shoulder into his, a small laugh escaping her, embracing her role as his betrothed. “Do you even have to ask?”

Lucien raised his hand, offering it to Elain. Delicately, her fingers traced his palm before she comfortably set her hand in his, a blush staining her cheeks. She smiled timidly up at him, sparks clear as daylight between them.

As Lucien and Elain walked to the dance floor, Lucien hoped no one could sense their shared unease, hidden behind their false smiles.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #autumn court #beron vanserra #elain and lucien dance in the next one i promise #forgive me I don't how to correctly estimate where my own plot points should go lol #elain archeron x lucien vanserra #elucien #elain x lucien #thank you for reading <3 #ashes writes sometimes #all you have is your fire

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jaketsparrow · 3 months

Text

TENDING Part 6.1

Tending Part 6.1!

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Josh Kiszka x f! Reader

Word Count: 6.3K

A/N: Welp it’s been months since I’ve updated this bad boy and I do apologize profusely. I finally feel like I’ve had my creative spark back :) I hope you can all forgive me that its 1. Late 2. Only half of a part. This is going to be a backstory chapter with some drama mixed in! The next chapter will most likely be the last… Also, I PROMISE I will be better updating from now on!

MINORS DNI

MENTIONS OF/ TW: Angst, mentions of vomit, swearing, lots of emotional/break up/ manipulation talks, lots and lots of drama and yelling, unfortunately, no smut this time around friends, please forgive me :)

Masterpost

The echoes of the rowdy women finally start to calm down. No more ‘how's my makeup?’, ‘that band was so good’, ‘Let’s get an Uber’. Just the silence of the empty bathroom, except for a steady drip-drop from the faucet. The bar outside was still rambunctious and full of life, but here in this one grimy stall, you were lucky to have a few moments of peace.

It was one of those ‘worn-in’ bathrooms. Drawings everywhere, phone numbers plastered across the stall doors, posters from previous events hanging askew to the sides of you. You couldn’t really tell if any of the surfaces around you were ‘clean’, but at this point, you didn’t care enough to think of the germs collecting.

You had your back against the cool textured wall, trying to collect yourself, finding sensations other than anxiety to focus on. You try to gather your surroundings, grounding yourself by running your hands over the words and numbers on either side of you.

Reality starts to set back in after the panic lowers. You can feel your body temperature dropping, the adrenaline and booze wearing off. Your eyes had finally stopped tearing up and for a brief moment, you had enough strength to asses.

What the actual fuck was going on?

Why did you feel so torn up about this man? When at every turn he just disappoints you.

Every chance you’ve given Jake has proven that maybe he wasn’t a person you could fix. You loved a good fixer-upper and you couldn’t stay away. Coming from a broken past yourself made it easy to want to try and help others, to coax others into feeling better, doing better. It was a habit you tried to break often, but always cycled back around.

Jake wasn’t the right person to give everything to. Every negative thought of him swirled around you, consuming you. The entire Mariella situation came flooding back to you. You fall weak for him every time, your rage turning into the most fucked up but beautiful apologies of lovemaking. Although you can’t romanticize sex with him, it’s quite honestly been pure lust. Craving each other, needing each other’s skin despite everything else falling apart.

You want him to tell you that you’re his girl… That you’re his good girl. You want to hear those words whispering in your ear, quivering at his slow breaths against your skin. It would make everything better because it just would. His praise is worth a thousand apologies. Wrapping yourself around him and staring deep into his big brown eyes was enough to make you forget everything. Feeling him reach your very limits, pulling you as close to him as you can get…

No.

But, you can’t let yourself be persuaded into a relationship of toxicity for the perfect fuck.

Well…

You haven’t even considered that there was also the good Jake. Not just the good-in-bed Jake, but the Jake that let you dance with him, despite denying that he could. The soft chuckle that he let escape his lips as you paraded yourselves around his living room. The music that filled the room slowly felt like it had slipped away the longer you noticed your connection growing. It was hard to even remember what was playing because all you could remember was his soft brown eyes looking back at you.

There was the Jake that did fight for you, multiple times. He stood his ground to a woman who was trying to do everything in her power to keep you two apart. He showed you his most private comfort place, where you both bared your souls to the nature around you. The most intimate and freeing apology of all. There was the version of Jake who quit his job so you could still work…

God. He was the epitome of an anti-hero.

The tears returned, streaming in small bursts down your face, never stopping. Your head started to collapse below you, trying to keep the tears from melting away the makeup you spent hours preparing for him. Each drop fell below you, although you could hardly see any of it through your clouded eyes.

If you weren’t going to end up with this man, he would be for sure the one that got away. He would constantly be on your mind. Ruining you. Climbing through every future memory of intimacy. Asking you ‘Is he better than me sunshine?’ and ‘I bet he can’t make you shake like I can’. Jake would swarm every thought, every decision, every lover.

This night caused more confusing thoughts to enter the mix. Although he showed such kindness to you, it was always in a backward way.

How could you deal long-term with someone so jealous? Someone who is jealous of you for forming a friendship with his own brother? How could you continue with someone who wasn’t even sure if he wanted to continue with you? Granted that time has passed, but will that thought always be in the back of his mind?

From this point on it felt less like a decision you had to make and more of a decision for him. But he had always picked you, between Mariella, between the job, he always chose you…

Slam!

“Oh shit.” A male voice echoes into the bathroom, “Is it clear in here?”

The house was completely dark when you pulled into the driveway. It was the first time Jake even let you drive in his presence; although he had no choice considering the state he was in when you left the bar. He probably could’ve handled the road fine but it was easier for you to get behind the wheel.

You park the car where he would usually leave his, and sit awkwardly in silence for a moment; gripping onto the steering wheel. Sweat steaming between the leather grips and your palms.

Your heart is pounding. This is a deciding moment, you weren’t sure where the conversation would lead you. You remember your first night together, back at the bar, feeling that same heartbeat flutter. Only this time the feelings you had were not full of new beginnings, but rather worrying about an ending.

He hadn’t spoken a word since you put him in the passenger seat. He made no admirations to the cute knickknacks you had collected in your car. It was a very tidy car, but over the years you tried to put more of yourself in the car; this thing is yours until you run it in the ground, so why not? Cute little celestial strings hung from the rearview mirror, little statued women sat near your speedometer, just little pieces of you sprinkled in this steel box. You were especially hurt that he didn’t immediately perk up at the CD cases tucked between his seat and the center console; he wasn’t even interested in seeing if you had ‘good music taste’.

This was awkward, but you had to get out of that bar. There was no way you were going to be able to discuss anything productively with his two brothers and best friend listening in on every word and possibly amplifying the situation further. You had learned your lesson finally.

“Jake,” You attempt to prod him in a calm and gentle voice, hesitant with your tone. Remaining neutral.

He doesn’t respond. He starts to fiddle with his belt, holding his head down in a pouting position. His thumbs run past the buckle, swirling in patterns over the metal. He can’t even look at you. It’s the same avoidance all over again. He’s like a child in that respect, he can’t even come to sit at the table for real adult conversations.

You turn to face him, lifting your leg slightly on the seat, trying to still seem casual and not at all upset, “Jake. I brought you home because we need to keep talking.”

The silence in the air lingers a bit longer through the tension. You two are both separated from each other entirely. Not only because of this difficult discussion, but because there was literally a part of the car separating you two.

“I just don’t know what to say to you,” He stops fidgeting and cranes his neck back into the headrest. He’s halfway to a tantrum. You’re pushing him to be vulnerable; that would be a risky move. “Where do I even start?”

“How about you start by telling me the whole story Jake.”

You jump up, scared of hearing the voice of the opposite sex join you in your echo chamber. “Hello?” You call out, trying not to sound as frightened as you feel.

“Darling! You didn’t leave!” The voice sounds more familiar now.

“Josh?”

You unlock the stall door and peek out to see his familiar curls. He looks concerned, unsure of what he’s even doing in the women’s bathroom.

“Is he in here too?” You ask, scared to fully emerge.

“No, he won’t move. Stubborn fucker.”

Once you know it’s safe, you step out of the stall, holding yourself in a slump. You look over to the mirrors to see that your makeup is far past ruined; you’re practically ready to audition for clown college. You reach your hands up and awkwardly paw at your face, trying to hide the tears from Josh. The makeup runs across the pads of your fingers, the tears barely helping to wash away the mascara.

“Oh, oh, don’t worry about that.” Josh saunters over to you, arms spread wide ready to envelop you in a hug. He braces you and reaches himself around your shoulders. You rest your head into the crook of his neck, trying to sniffle away the tears.

“J-Josh,” You say through muffled choking breaths.

He rubs his hand across your back, “Shh, don’t say anything to me. I need to apologize to you. I’m sorry I did that to you, it wasn’t right of me to be the one to say something like that,” He unfortunately releases the hug, but traces his hands down your arms to catch your hands, holding them firmly in his. He takes a deep breath for a moment, lowering his head in shame. “He just was being a complete dick!”

You laugh at his honesty. Jake was being a complete fuck. His attitude always rose within a matter of seconds. You couldn’t understand where it all came from. It was like someone setting off a Molotov cocktail.

“No, no, please don’t apologize,” You whimper, pouting your lip out, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Josh squeezes your hands again, “I insist that you let me say that I’m sorry. I know how to get under his skin and that very moment was the wrong time to prod at him.”

Josh has this sincere look about him. Although minutes ago he couldn’t read the room, now he was, understanding the care that you needed at this moment. He had this healing, vibrant energy about him that would be impossible to be upset at.

“You really do know how to push his buttons,” You giggle softly, “He was totally out of line and being horrible… As he is known to be…”

Josh pouts back, mirroring your expression, “He was… And well is… But that didn’t mean I needed to say something that would hurt you too.” Josh lowers himself to meet you at your eyeline.

It's quite remarkable how similar the two look. Although, their energy is what truly makes them stand out as different individuals. They share many of the same features, those soft yet strong bones, and the perfect full lips, but… Something about their eyes makes them so different. Josh has a ray of sunshine behind his eyes, while Jake has the stars and moon behind his.

You drop your shoulders, “What did you mean by… You know… What you said Josh? I want to know if he even wants to keep doing… doing this whole thing.”

“Mama, are you kidding?” He pets your hair out of your eyes, “Just look at you, of course he does! Are you fucking joking?” Josh’s excited voice doesn’t dissuade your uncertain feelings.

“But you said-”

“Ah ah, you silly beautiful girl.” was this a compliment or him calling you stupid… “You didn’t listen to everything I said,” Josh taps the side of your head, “clearly a bit foggy up here from all that whiskey you just downed- a nice touch of drama by the way.”

You shake your head and smirk shyly. It was dramatic. It was far more confrontational than you had ever been before. He forced this side out of you, this primal, protective rage. You wanted more than ever to protect your sanity, your heart. Everything was hot, then cold, black, then white. There was no clear happy middle ground when it came to the two of you.

Josh continues, “I said he thought you didn’t want him anymore. He was trying to respect your wishes.” He lingers on that for a moment. The words settling in… Respect… what you wanted… “But you have to remember darling, he can be as dense as they come sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” You cut in with sarcasm.

“Yes, but shush. He needed that push to fight for what you have. Do you know how much he talked about you before we went on tonight? He wouldn’t shut up about how he was excited to have you in the crowd tonight and to go home with you, as his. Not something he had to try and win over, not someone he would have to fawn over from the other side of the bar-”

You cut Josh off, “He said all that?”

“We’ll I’m embellishing, I know he meant all of that. Anyway, my point is no matter what, he would’ve come back eventually- I know that for a fact. You’re quite special, I don't think he’s stupid enough to waste not being with you. He just needed his big brother to give him a swift kick in the ass to chase it all a bit sooner. If anything, I just moved the timeline along.”

You raise your hands to your brows, furrowing them in confusion, “But why all the back and forth? Why all the big messes that, if I may add, are never truly cleaned up by himself. Why does everyone else have to convince him to do the right thing?”

Josh moves his hands from yours and rubs the sides of your shoulders, “Mama I think he’s falling for you, he’s just so clueless and doesn’t know how to tell you. Men, am I right? ”

You reach up to grab his hands, “Josh, do you realize how annoying that is?” You chuckle at the thought, Jake does have quite the incompetence for love, “How annoying it is for two people who can work together to have all of these fucking nightmares? Nightmares that I may add could’ve been avoided. He’s been constantly trying to burn this bridge ever since we built it!”

“Of course, I know it’s a mess, but you have to understand the reason he is this way.”

“And why is he that way? I think he likes to make us all scramble around for him…”

You drop your hands, dramatically pacing about the bathroom now. Trying to make it all make sense. Everything is done so that Jake is in the right. Everything is cleaned up for Jake. He never has to think too much about anything because someone else will come along and give him an ultimatum or push him in the right direction. He never has to come be the one to apologize because someone else will come to clean up his messes; to give grand excuses for his behavior.

‘Oh, he didn’t know’ or ‘he’s so confused’.

You couldn’t be in a relationship with a man where you were constantly having to cater to him, to always be the forgiving one. A few weeks were draining enough to experience all of this, but how would months, even years feel?

Josh breaks the silence, “Well that’s because someone else did that to him.”

You stop pacing, thinking about what Josh could mean by that. Someone else? As in another girlfriend? You start to slowly walk back into the conversation.

“Why? Wait, what happened?”

The door rustles behind Josh. Danny pokes his head in, awkwardly smiling at the two of you. He puts his hand up in a shy wave. He’s bashful and not entirely thrilled to be interrupting.

“Not to rush,” He interjects, “But some of the girls out here are really not liking the idea of using the men’s room instead.”

“Too bad!” Josh shouts. He stops for a moment to think. Almost like a lightbulb went off over his head he goes, “Oh! Boy! Wow! She’s really thrown up everywhere! What a fucking mess!-”

“Josh!” You scold.

Josh turns back to you, whispering, “If you want the story, I have to buy some time… Oh, man! Do NOT come in here! This is fucking crazy!”

You realize Josh’s plan and play into it, making loud gagging noises to sell it further.

“Don’t! Blehhh Come in!” You yell.

“Oh wow! They’re going to need two mops for this mess!” Josh can’t help but giggle at his own statement.

“Josh!” You laugh with him this time, “Two?!”

Danny smiles at the improv, poking his head back outside. You can hear his muffled voice softly telling the women that you ‘just need some time to clean up’.

“Okay, go!” You push, “You can’t leave a cliffhanger like that! Mr. Stoic was in love? Mr. has no emotions?!”

“Well,” Josh sighs, “I wouldn’t call it real love…. But yes, Jake had a love, once. She was horrible, awful. We all hated her.”

“This sounds like a great start.” You interject, “It’s always the problematic woman huh? And the innocent manipulator?

Josh sighs, and grabs your hands into his, “Can ya let me tell my story before you start with all your comments?”

You squeeze Josh’s hands back, nodding, agreeing to behave.

“Oh good, because it’s a fabulous story, but I never get to tell it! My brother is awfully sensitive about her. ‘Don’t bring her up Josh’, ‘I’m fine as long as I forget about her’. Ugh. He just couldn’t let go of her. Quite an annoying person. She was always the first one to pick on Jake, more so than I do- which as you know, is saying something. She loved to point out all his flaws, and try to take away his autonomy in every sense. He fell victim to it, becoming a pet of hers. She’d say jump, he’d say how high…

She would show up to all his shifts at the last bar he worked at, and sit there and watch him… I don’t mean she would fawn over him the way you used to, but she would sit there, and judge every interaction, everything he did… The entire time. She was… to put it nicely… Psychotic.”

She sounds lovely, you think to yourself. Explains some of the behavior he’s displayed in the past few months. The need to be in control in the bedroom, the lack of emotional intelligence…

“She wanted to control Jake, and because he was young, stupid, and well, in love. And you know what that ass did? He let her. We started to protest it, tried to set up more gigs to get him out of the house, to introduce him to more people, show him he was better than her, and she found out.”

The reaction is swift and immediate, “Oh, he didn’t…”

“Oh yeah, that fucking idiot told her everything! There were no secrets between them! She made sure of that. Well, really I should say, he had no secrets when it came to her. That… She… I could count on two hands how many ‘friends’ she saw behind his back… She hated us for trying to break down the manipulations. So when she saw that he was pulling away from him, she started to catch on to him and where we were stealing him away. He broke one night and crushed all of our hard work. And from that point on, all she did was take him away from us, until…”

“... Until?” You poke.

An uncomfortable sigh pushes through Josh, “Until she made a move on me.”

“What?!” You exclaim.

“Yes, yes, quite dramatic. We were out one night all together, playing pool or darts or something. She had only let Jake go out with us if she was there to be his bitchy chaperone; we couldn’t be trusted to be alone with him anymore. Well later that night I’m driving the two of them home, Jake’s practically passed out in the passenger seat and she was screaming some stupid pop music in the back seat. I helped her into the house, leaving Jake to rest a little longer since he was out. I walked her into the living room and laid her on the couch. When she fell back, she latched onto me and practically sucked my face off while I struggled to get her alien mouth off of me.”

Josh mimics the entire scenario, creating his reenactment of sorts. Flailing his body about the linoleum floors. What a fucking character.

“Oh no…” The severity of this situation is climbing and climbing, and everything is starting to make sense.

Josh continues, “Little did either of us know, but Jake was not asleep in the car, just merely ‘resting his goddamn eyes’ and came through the front door to find her tongue halfway down my throat. They screamed, and he cried, then she cried, meanwhile, I scrubbed my mouth out in the kitchen sink… It was a whole ordeal.”

“But why did she even kiss you? Was it to get back at Jake for something? Just a fucking cheating addiction? Why would she do that to him?” There are so many questions to be answered, and your time in this ‘private’ bathroom was running out.

“She claims the whole twin thing and that she was too drunk to make out who was who, but darling… Can you believe that? I am much better looking than Jake, you’d think she’d know the difference.”

“Okay, Josh.” You roll your eyes.

“All in all, it was quite uncomfortable for me, but it was enough to push Jake to leave her once and for all. It took him ages to be able to talk to me about it, mostly because during their whole fight she had convinced him it was my idea. By some sort of good magic, he broke her spell and listened to reason… But through this whole ordeal, he lost a lot of the love he could give…

He just didn’t trust me or anyone anymore. He got paranoid all the time and would hate to be alone, but if I came to live with him he wanted me to leave after only a couple of days. I felt horrible for him.” Josh dropped his head, “He had wasted years being taken around like a show pony… All for it to end because she couldn’t resist me.”

“Oh my god Josh, you’re not helping yourself look any better here!” You joke at him, knocking your palm into his shoulder.

“Oh c’mon! You know what I mean.” He turns to face his complexion in the mirror, playing with the tussles of his curls, “Anyways, from that point on he became this mysterious shrouded man that none of us recognized. He started having more random girls follow him home from the bar, he started just being stupid.

And that lovely ex-girlfriend of his, well she never stopped showing up at the bar… She would come in and harass every girl who showed up at the bar, but never in a way that she would be caught. She would leave backhanded compliments, tell them that Jake would never go for them, blah blah. All bullshit so she could keep control of him. He pleaded with her to leave, to give him time to heal; but she wouldn’t.

The manager and security finally caught on to her, but by that point, it was too late. Jake was worried he would never move on as long as she knew where he was. So he had to move to a different bar, the one you worked at…”

Josh glances over at you to gauge your reaction. He looks suspicious like he’s hiding some of the truth.

“Okay… Feels like there's more to this story…” You follow Josh’s reflection and catch him half-wincing.

“There is. And you might not like it, but…” He turns back to face you.

“But…?” You Push

“...What did Jake tell you about Mariella?”

“Mariella?” A name you thought you wouldn’t have to deal with now. You had finally felt like you had the upper hand on that bitch, “Just that they had slept together once, right when he started… Right?”

Before you can even finish your sentence a craze starts to fill through you. Fuck. You can see the puzzle pieces connecting in your mind. Not a complete picture yet, but you know something is going to be said that will connect all the pieces.

What does she have to do with all of this?

“Well. That is correct. But did he tell you why he slept with her?”

“Josh… I don’t like where this is going.”

Your pulse starts to drop again. You had hoped you would hear nothing more of this story or this girl, mostly because you thought that had been resolved. You already had enough jealousy that had built up from that situation, and you can feel it burrowing through your sane mind again.

“I don’t think you entirely will, but it pertains to the story.” Josh sighs, “Now these are probably details he left out because of the whole other story… but Mariella was a friend of Jean, his ex.”

A complete feeling of bewilderment smacks you. The fuck? Friend? Is this a revenge story? A rebound? Did he…?

You don't have much time to think before Josh is spoon-feeding you the rest of the story.

“Jake knew that Mariella and Jean were friends. Now they weren’t best friends or anything like that, but he knew that if he slept with her, it would be enough to feel like he was even for Jean hitting on me or something- I don't know!

“That’s gross.” You can’t help but feel gross knowing Jake was that kind of guy.

“Well…Except, he couldn’t.”

You make a befuddled face, confused, “He couldn’t what? Like he decided it was bad? He had come to his senses?”

Josh grits his teeth, almost looking like he is unsure whether he should share these next details.

“He cried. He made it to her bedroom and cried. They were still dressed, he never even attempted anything. He brought her home, talked a big game, and then sat there and cried on the edge of her bed. He tried to get something going, but I think she had come to her senses by that point… He had put on this tough exterior for months, but he couldn’t be that guy. He didn’t want to admit that to anyone… And well Mariella had everything she needed to blackmail Jake.”

“Fuck.” You walk over to the sinks, leaning your lower back into the counter, “So he never even-”

“No mama. He didn’t.” Josh strolls over to lean next to you.

“Then why did he?-”

“Would you want to tell someone you're sleeping with that your first rebound you spend the entire night crying?”

“I guess not.”

Everything was starting to make sense. That cool, distinguished vibe Jake was always trying to emulate was a front, when in fact he was as soft and gentle as you had dreamed. Jake was just a lost boy, floundering around, trying to protect himself from being made a fool, or falling in love too hard too soon.

You turn to look at Josh, who is wincing through all the realization, “Fuck. Oh no Josh… He’s going to hate you for telling me all of this.”

“I know.” Josh pets his chin between his hands, “Still not sure if it was the right thing to do… Seems like I’ve gotten pretty good at oversharing Jake’s messes. Maybe you can convince him to tell you his story, now that you know he’s worth trying.”

“I never said I would try Josh, I still feel pretty fucked by this whole thing. The least he could do is actually fuck me instead of fucking me over and knocking my brains around in my head every couple of days.”

Josh shrugs, “That’s Jake. At least, the Jake that’s out there now. But I know what he’s capable of.” He winks at you.

You lean over to hug Josh, squeezing him with all of your might. “I don’t know what to do Josh. I think I love him.”

“I think he feels the same way, Mama.” He pets the back of your head, calming you.

You can practically feel the radiation of relief washing over Josh. He never knows whether he’s saying the right things or not. But just that simple explanation gave you everything you needed to forgive Jake, or at least to know it’s worth trying to talk something out with him. It was sad to know that it didn’t come from him, but wounds can be hard to talk about.

You had wounds of your own, fears of being abandoned, and always ready to cut things off before getting your heart broken. Perhaps you were too quick to keep turning Jake away, but of course, all of this is easy to say now that you have the full story and time to reflect.

Knock… Slam.

Jake barrels in, guns blazing, ready to tear the place apart.

“Hey!!”

He drunkenly stomps over to the two of you and pulls you apart.

“Jake!” You scold.

He turns to you, and points his finger in your face, “No. Not you. Do not get involved this time,” His finger veers over in front of Josh, “Stay out of my fucking love life. Don’t get her to leave me too.”

Josh throws his hands up in defense, “I didn’t-”

“You always, always win Josh. You took Jean, you’re taking her too.”

Josh squares up against Jake, taking his hand to lower his finger, “Have you considered that I’m not the reason they always leave Jake? Have you considered Jean was a horrible person for you and you’re still letting her ruin your life? You’re letting it ruin her chance to know you?” Josh looks over to you this time.

Jake throws his hands up in the air, “Ohhhh wise Joshua, please let me in on your vast knowledge of relationships. You’ve survived so much! It’s bullshit Josh. Everyone loves you, everyone adores you, you don’t fucking get it.”

This. This was disgusting. Everything Josh was saying was completely crumbling.

You take your moment, and prepare to join the battle, “Jake.”

He doesn’t even want to turn to look at you. He knows he’s being horrible. He knows he is trying to share the load of his pain instead of facing it.

“No, I said no. You don’t get it either. Do you know what it’s like to always be the other twin? The less outgoing, the less lively. Oh yes, assigned that from the beginning. Josh was the star of the show and got everyone he wanted. Got all the attention. Steals everything from me…” “Are you finished?” Josh asks, crossing his arms in front of him, “Because I have something to say now.”

Jake turns around to face the wall, smacking his palm against the brick, “Oh go ahead, please, we’d love to hear you talk some more.”

“So you decide now is the best time to come in here to try and get her back huh? Now, twenty minutes after your dirty secrets come out? Not when she was trying to fix it? You think you’re some brave guy coming in here to save her from me? No fucking way. I- ME- I am the one who came in here to make sure she was okay, not because I’m in fucking love with her, but because she’s in love with you. You have to be honest with her, be a fucking man.”

“Josh-” Jake murmurs, he seems hurt, “I-” He stares intently at Josh, broken from the words that were just spoken to him. You can see the emotions swirling inside of him, trying to decide: good, bad, angry, sad. You see his finger raise again and lift towards Josh.

“Jake! Look at me!.” You place your hands on your hips, scowling at Jake. He’s still locked into Josh, staring at him with a feverous intensity. Here was that brute cover-up again, and you were ready to face it head-on. “I’ve had just about enough of whatever bullshit this is. Your adult men, knock it the fuck off, you both care about each other! Stop being petty children. You’re both pretty! Whatever you want to hear!” You feel your blood pressure rise, all the drama and persuasion you have in your body pushing forward, “Jake your brother loves you and is trying to help you because for some reason as grown as you are, you still don’t know how to use your fucking words. Josh, your brother also loves you but you do have a habit of taking things too far and stepping into shit that doesn’t belong to you… Now, if we can get back to being fucking adults tonight that would be great!”

He turns to gingerly look at you. He’s scared. Thats all. He doesn’t want to be mean. He’s like a child, unsure of how to deal with his own emotions.

Josh looks at you, slightly frightened, but also intrigued by your willingness to control the situation.

“Alright? We get it?” You check both of their expressions, making sure the sentiments have sunk in, “Good. Apologize so we can get this shit over with.”

Jake jumps back and squares his shoulders, trying to boost his manly behavior. He squints his face in a peculiar unsettling way, “I’m not-”

“I’m sorry!” Josh blurts out. He sounded fearful almost like he was scared you would do something to him if he didn’t apologize.

You turn to look at Josh who has this sheepish apologetic look on his face. Jake brings his hand up to his face, trying to rub away the distasteful expression. He relaxes himself enough to admit to Josh, “I’m sorry too.”

He looks to you for approval. You cross your arms over your chest and nod satisfactorily. “Okay fine. Good enough,” You examine Jake, not just trying to quickly survey his expression, but instead seeing the fear behind his deep brown eyes. The guilt slowly pulls forward, creating a stormy mess inside. “We’re taking you back to your place now. Okay?”

He lets his guard down entirely. Shocked at the words coming out of your mouth. You two are entirely landlocked, holding your ground just feet from each other. Jake, opposite to you, has no idea that his whole love life was just spilled to you. Instead, all he knows is he is scared. He thinks he’s lost you all over again.

He seems like he’s sobered up, like his mind is clear, like he was ready to fight for you, on his terms this time.

Josh tries to sneak past the two of you. Danny opens the door enough to let him squeak out.

You walk up to Jake, wrapping your hands around his waist, pulling him tight into you. Lining yourself up to fit right into him. You look up to him, reaching one of your hands up to tuck the loose pieces of hair back into their rightful place. He’s silent, watching your every move.

“Jake,” You coo, “I’m going to drive us back to your house, okay?” He nods his head, “And then,” You dig your hands into his hips, “we’re going to talk. Like how fucking real people should.” He nods again.

You move your arms up to his back, caressing him softly, trying to show him that you aren’t as mad as you may seem. You reach around to his bicep, cuffing yourself on it, guiding him out of the bathroom.

You open the door to find the two hooligans, Josh and Danny, leaning against the door, eavesdropping.

“Boys, I think it’s time we call it a night.” You rub both of their shoulders, silently thanking them for their efforts tonight. “We’ll do this again soon, okay?” You look to Jake, who is still stoic, perhaps more confused than anything, “Jake and I are going to go home and chat.”

Out of nowhere, Sam pounces over to the group. He looks concerned and worried, “Oh my god! I heard you throwing up like crazy in there are you okay?!”

You turn to Danny, “Do you wanna?-”

Danny laughs, “I got it.”

You give Sam the same comforting arm rub as Josh and Danny and continue to parade Jake through the bar. Some glances make their way across the room. No surprise there; you were some form of entertainment for the customers tonight.

Jake finally breaks his silence, the shock is settling, “What's?-”

You shush him, “Let's just get home.”

Taglist:

@gvfmarge @takenbythemadness @heckingfrick @gvfpal @sanguinebats @giraffehippy @anythingforjtk @lipstickitty @pinkandsleepy1934 @gretavansara @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @milkgemini @violet-hayes @Lyndz2names @edgingthedarkness @twistedmelodies @gretasfallingsky @thetroublegetssoloud71 @earthgrlsreasy @starcatcher-jake @sarakay-gvf @a-lanterninthenight @ignite-my-fire

#jake kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van smut #gvf #gvf fic #jake kiskza x reader #gvf smut #greta van fleet smut #jake gvf

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winchester-girl67 · 2 years

Text

Sensory Overload

Summary: The reader tells Dean that she's on the spectrum after he finds her hiding out in his room after a hunt.

Requested by @whoooooisthis: "I was wondering if you'd be okay with writing Dean Winchester x autistic reader (with sensory issues, and possibly a hyperfixation on the lore/mythology the boys use to hunt)?"

Pairing: Dean x autistic!reader

Square: Clothes sharing @spnfluffbingo Dean's Flannel @supernatural-jackles

Word Count: 2,489

Warnings: autistic!reader, autism, mentions/implied hyperfixation, anxiety, separation anxiety, ADHD, sensory issues related to autism, stimming, a little angst, a little pining, emotional hurt/comfort, cuddling/kissing, mostly fluff

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I'm really behind on requests. I hope you like it. Also written for @spnfluffbingo and @supernatural-jackles’ Tell Me a Story bingo.

_____

You snuggled more into the comforters, wrapping Dean's pillow tighter around your head to block out the cacophony of sounds in the bunker. The high-pitched buzz of the fluorescent lights in the hallway mixed with the constant droning sound of the ventilation system, but neither compared to the silence of your cell phone.

You called the boys fifteen and a half times in the past hour, but still no answer. You were worried, terrified you missed something in the lore that could've led to their demise, because why else haven't they picked up yet. Dean always called you when they finished a hunt with praises on your research skills, you saved their asses plenty of times without even being in the line of fire.

Your forte was in the books, you knew everything about everything, hunters from all parts of the country looked to you for information on vamps, ghouls, djinns, shifters, ghosts, demons, wendigos... You name it, you knew it, and you loved it, spending your days in the library; but sometimes you got a little lost in it and that's when having the boys around really helped.

Dean especially was great at drawing your focus, usually after he'd just tried a new recipe in the kitchen and needed a taste-tester. You didn't have the heart to tell him that most of his 'masterpieces' were mostly inedible, though he did make incredible chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. He made those most often.

You wondered if you'd ever get to taste those again, if the boys would come walking in that bunker door any time soon, if you missed something in the lore. But you had scanned the pages too many times to have missed anything. Something else must've gone wrong.

You couldn't remember how long ago it was that you curled up in Dean's bed. You weren't supposed to be there, you never crawled into his bed unless he was already in it and you couldn't sleep. You started to cry, not heavily, just one or two tears that escaped as you started to rock back and forth and back-

The lights in the room flicked on. You didn't open your eyes until a pair of strong hands pried yours off the edges of Dean's pillow. You met the gaze of the green eyed man of whom you'd come so accustomed to. You've only lived with them for a year now and your diagnosis had never come up, but you couldn't avoid it now, not anymore. Not that you were avoiding it, it just never came up.

You looked away and sat up in his bed. You glanced around at the state his room was in. Dean liked things tidy and you'd made a mess of it. His clothes were thrown over every square inch of his bedroom floor. You glanced back at him, he looked tired but you didn't think he looked angry.

"Before you say anything, I'm sorry!" You blurted out, wiping your cheeks dry.

"Okay," Dean eyed the mess, "You wanna tell me why you look so guilty?"

"You didn't answer your phone, you always answer your phone. I got worried. I'm sorry." You hugged yourself and squinted at the bright lights, "C-can you turn those off, please?"

Dean nodded and turned on the bedside lamp, then flicked off the switch for the ceiling lights. You started to relax slightly in the more dim setting, especially now that you knew he was okay. You sucked in a slow breath not wanting to completely lose it in front of him. How long have you been there? You didn't know and hugged his pillow to your chest.

"Better?" He asked, you nodded, "Were you asleep?" You shook your head and tugged on the trim of the pillow case, "What's wrong, Y/N?"

"I-I was worried," you said, you knew he was looking at you but you couldn't meet his eyes. "Y-you didn't answer your phone."

"Sammy's phone died and I broke mine," he explained, tossing the two pieces of his cell onto the table next to the lamp. You winced at the clattering sound, he noticed but didn't make a comment. Instead he spoke softer, "And that makes you raid my closet?" He asked, pulling on the hem of your shirt sleeve, but you pulled your hand away and you thought you heard him sigh.

You had changed out of your clothes and into his. A pair of sweats, a t-shirt, and the purple plaid of his that you adored. There was just something about his clothes that calmed you, they weren't itchy or confining like yours were. And they smelt like him, at least the flannel did because he'd worn it briefly before he left. You were a little embarrassed when you saw him notice. But Dean never judged you, you loved that about him.

"I needed something soft and your clothes are softer than mine, and it smells like you. It calms me. I'm sorry."

"It's a bit big on you, isn't it, sweetheart?" He laughed and you frowned, "Hey, that was a joke. Y/N?"

You didn't always get his odd sense of humour, he loved sarcasm but you never really understood it, even if you laughed at a couple of his remarks from time to time. You liked it better when he was blatantly silly and told dad-jokes. That's actually how your friendship started out, with bad jokes, that's how he got you out of your shell. With Sam you bonded over research in the library until you surpassed his knowledge and he couldn't teach you anymore, now it was workout routines and health related stuff like early morning runs or protein shakes. You never told Sam that you'd rather eat one of Dean's masterpieces over those protein shakes. But he did start adding berries to yours which helped.

"Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, Y/N, you haven't done anything wrong." He said, furrowing his brow.

You flinched when he tried to touch your hand again, so instead he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. You cleared your throat and mirrored him, crossing your arms over the pillow you continued to squish to your chest.

"I'm on the spectrum, Dean." You said, making eye contact for a second and watching his features soften.

"I didn't know," he shook his head and sighed like he should've though. Because you were good friends, best friends; hell, half the time he flirted with you. Hard. That was probably the one thing he made painfully obvious, when he hit on you. But nothing ever came of it. Yet.

"I don't tell many people, at least not until we get to know each other. I'm not embarrassed or anything, it's a part of me and I like who I am. But some days, I just want to be me, you know? Without the label." You explained, shuffling over a bit when Dean sat next to you on the bed.

"I know what you mean, sweetheart," he chewed on his lip for a moment as if contemplating something, "I have ADHD... This is the first time I've told anyone. I won't give Sam the satisfaction of knowing he was right, he's been saying I have it for years and I just know he'll give me that 'I told you so' smirk he likes so much." He laughed and shrugged, "I'll eventually tell him though... One of these days."

"I know."

His eyes widened, "You do?"

"Yeah," you nodded, still tugging on the welt edge of the pillow case.

"How?"

"It's super obvious, Dean. You have way too much energy for someone your age, you're super impulsive, and you're easily distracted." You rambled your observations on his personality from the past year. Those were exactly the things you loved about him though.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that comment about my age." He gave you a pointed stare but you could tell he was teasing because he smiled, "Why'd you tell me now?"

"I've known you for a while now, I trust you won't treat me different. Kinda hard to explain all this too," you said, waving your hand to quickly gesture around the room. You hadn't noticed what you were doing in the moment, but now you realized you'd thrown more than half of his wardrobe onto the floor in your search for his softest clothing.

He shrugged, "Could've just said Cas was here. This is nothing, I've seen him do more damage than this before. I'd have believed it."

You shrugged, "I guess, I'm tired of lying to you, or not telling you the whole truth, especially you."

"You can always tell me the truth, sweetheart, and if I can't relate, I'll try to understand." He said, placing his hand between you like he hoped you'd grab it, "You're not alone, Y/N."

"Thank you," you swallowed, staring at his hand. You wanted to reach out but you couldn't convince your hands to let go of the pillow case.

"No, thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me. I appreciate it and everything you do for us. I honestly think we'd be lost without you. I know I would." He didn't say it in his usual flirting tone, but you knew it wasn't a joke either. There was definitely something more to those four words.

"So, you're not mad about the, y-your room?" You asked, pressing your face into the pillow and side eyeing him.

"No, but I am curious, now that we've brought up this whole honesty thing. What did you think of my last conquest? The bacon corn soufflé, you never did say much." He asked with a raise of his eyebrows and you scrunched up your face, "You know you’re not that great at hiding when you don't like something, why do you think I limit my culinary masterpieces to once a month and instead make cookies and pie mostly now?" He smiled showing off his pearly teeth.

You smiled too, "I could go for some cookies."

"I have half a batch in the freezer, wanna get some with me?"

You shook your head instantly, "It's too loud out there," you motioned to the hallway behind him.

"I have an idea, do you trust me?" He asked and you hesitated but ultimately nodded. Dean pulled open the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, "Can I..?" He gestured as if he was going to put the headphones on you and you let him. It was so quiet and peaceful, you honestly don't know why you didn't think of this sooner.

You saw Dean's lips moving and lifted one side of the headphones, "What?"

"I said," he chuckled softly, "I'm gonna shower real quick and then I'll come get you for cookies and milk, okay?"

"Okay," you agreed and pulled the comforters up, holding them under your chin.

Dean ducked out of the room with a fresh pair of sweats and a tee tucked under his arm. Stopping at the door to glance back at you quickly. You gave him a soft smile and snuggled down into the bed again.

It felt like he was only gone for a second when he returned freshly showered with damp hair and smelling of, lavender? He used your body wash again, that always made you giggle; when tough-guy Dean smelt of pretty purple flowers.

He sat on the bed next to you and you lifted the headphones again, "Snack time?" He asked.

You glanced at the open bedroom door behind him and shook your head, "It's too bright." You let the headphones fall back into place and Dean raised a finger as if he needed a minute and disappeared out the door.

The lights in the hallway dimmed to half their brightness and Dean returned with a grin plastered on his face. He spread out his arms and raised his brows and you found the same smile plastered on your own face as you slid out of bed and followed him into the hall.

Dean left the lights off in the kitchen and grabbed the freezer bag of chocolate chip cookies from the freezer. He split open the bag and dug one out to hand to you, then popped one between his own lips, letting the warmth from his mouth defrost the dough before biting into it.

You sat on the counter and watched Dean move around the kitchen in the dark. He knew it like the back of his hand and in no time at all, there was a glass of milk in his hand and another one next to you. You shared the cookies until there were none and polished off your milk. Dean took the glasses and placed them in the sink before turning to you.

It was a comfortable silence as he stood in front of you but you couldn't hold his gaze for more than a second at a time. Until you caught his top lip and started laughing. You gestured to his milk-moustache and he chuckled by the roll of his shoulders and wiped it away. You wiped your mouth, just in case you had one too. He nodded his head towards the hallway and you followed him back to his room.

You already made up your mind that you were staying with him tonight and since he didn't push you towards your own room, you figured he was fine with that. You crawled into bed and lifted the headphones from your ears. You didn't really want to sleep with them on and you were feeling better now.

Dean grabbed the remote from his bedside table, "What do you say we watch a movie?"

"I don't think I'm up for a movie, De." You said, turning on your side to face him.

"Why not?" He replaced the remote and scooted down in bed next to you. Surprisingly he didn't make any move to touch you after his last few failed attempts and instead propped his head on his hand so he could look down at you comfortably.

"The screen moves too fast and I just need quiet, I still feel on edge a little bit." You explained.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" He asked.

"Hold me," you said, suddenly wanting to feel him surrounding you. He shifted closer and pulled you into his arms tentatively, "Tighter." He hugged you more, "Tighter." He squeezed you.

You sighed and nuzzled your face against his chest, feeling everything melt away as you melted into him. He kissed the top of your head with no intention of letting go and gave you another squeeze.

“Thank you,” you mumbled. “Dean? Can we get a dog?" This was an ongoing battle you were determined to win.

He sighed and kissed the top of your head again, "Only if I get to pick the name."

_________________________   Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278 @laycblack @thoughts-and-funnies @mrsjenniferwinchester @crustycheeks @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @lyarr24 @suckitands33 @eliwinchester99 @yvonneeeee

Forever SPN: @hobby27

Tell Me a Story Bingo: @princessvader15

#tell me a story bingo #spnfluffbingo2022 #dean x autistic!reader #autistic!reader #dean winchester x autistic!reader #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester x you #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #SPN #dean fluff #dean winchester one shot #supernatural reader insert #dean x y/n #dean winchester x #dean winchester fanfic

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