#fic: collarbones

[ashcal99]

Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale IV

Chapter Four

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn

Words: 7.4k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. Hope you enjoy. Made this chapter extra long for the wait x

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Series Masterlist

——————

January 29th, 2005

Camila sat there, frozen in time, for what seemed like an eternity trying to process what Jasper had just admitted. So, Jasper sat there, unmoving as well as not breathing. He wasn’t sure how she was taking the new information and suddenly found himself wishing that he held Edward’s power in that moment, willing to give everything just to know the thoughts that were going through her mind. Second best, he knew that she, remarkably, held no fright towards the admission, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she lacked the simple instinct that humans should be born with. The instinct to run away screaming when someone tells you that they’re a monster and could easily kill you. 

At the end of the day, he knew that was what he was. A monster. He may have changed his diet and tried to appear human, but he was far from it. He had killed people. Innocent people. He couldn’t even make the argument that his family had done the same, because their body counts were minuscule compared to his. He had fed off of human blood for nearly eighty-five years before Alice had found him. Even with his new found vegetarianism considered, he still slipped up. More than anybody else, and even though he knew that Camila was safe around him, he also knew that she had every reason in the world to fear him, and it confused the hell out of him that she didn’t.

He couldn’t help himself as he spoke, the silence eating away at his resolve. “Can you please tell me what’s going through your mind?” He asked, nervousness gripping his throat as he croaked the words out. 

Camila’s eyes flashed over to him, eyebrows creased in… confusion maybe? “I don’t know… I feel like I know I shouldn’t believe you, but for some reason, I do?” She said, eyes tracing his serious expression. “Can you prove it? N-not the vampire thing, I guess, but something to prove any of it is true?” She asked. 

Jasper’s mind reeled for a moment trying to think of something quickly, when an idea popped into his head. “Remember how you said I’m really good at reading emotions? Like an empath?” He asked, waiting for her nod before continuing. “It’s a little more than that. Some of us, when we turn, we get… gifts. When I was changed I could not only feel people’s emotions like they were my own, but manipulate them too.” He explained slowly, trying to find the right words.

Given the situation, he figured this was his best bet in not freaking her out any further. Eyes scanning her face to make sure that she was okay with what he was about to do, he pushed a wave of happiness towards her. He watched as the corners of her lips curved upwards, the crease between her eyebrows smoothing as her heart filled with overwhelming joy. 

She didn’t know nor care why she had become so  suddenly happy, but as soon as the emotion was ripped back from her, the pieces clicked together. The smile slowly dropped from her face as her mind returned to where had been just moments before. “Holy shit.” She huffed out. He was telling the truth. As soon as the feeling of joy had hit her, it was gone. 

Her eyes widened suddenly. Maybe this was the explanation as to why she felt so strongly towards him. Maybe it was him all along, manipulating her feelings. “Y-you don’t do that to me often do you?” She asked nervously. 

Jasper shook his head quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “No. I’ve never with you before.” He rushed out, hoping to whatever god that she would believe him.

Letting out a sigh, Camila let her shoulders drop as she let herself relax back into her seat. She had no reason to think he was lying. From what she could tell, all of her feelings and emotions involving him were genuine, no matter how much she wished that they weren’t there to begin with.

“So, is the whole thing about garlic true?” She asked trying to lighten the mood. Everything had suddenly gotten much too daunting.

Throwing his head back with a bark of laughter, Jasper ran his long thin fingers through his golden curls. How in the world was she taking all of this so well? The ball had to drop at some point, right? There’s no way that everything would go this smoothly. Surely after she learned about his past and how much of a monster he really was, surely then, she would run away screaming. But that admission would have to wait for another day, because in that moment, he would give anything keep Camila as far away from that part of him as possible.

——————

January 31st, 2005

The rest of her day with Jasper had flown by, and before Camila knew it, it was the start to her second week at Forks High School. After the exhaustion of her first week, and hanging out with Jasper on Saturday, the rest of her weekend consisted of sleep and cramming in the remainder of her homework. When Monday finally came around, she was well rested, at lest as well rested as she could be. 

Camila had just joined the end of the line in the cafeteria, Eric talking her ear off behind her once again, when her eyes finally met Jasper’s across the crowded room. She hadn’t seen him since he had dropped her back off at home Saturday night. Like a perfect gentleman, he had waited, car pulled against the curb and watched her figure until she had successfully made it fully inside her home, before he drove away. 

Now that her eyes had met his for the first time since she had been given the opportunity to fully, well mostly maybe, process his confession, she felt a weight leave her shoulders that she wasn’t even aware was there in the first place. The rest of their night on Saturday had consisted mostly of more light hearted conversation, so now that she had been given the time to think of more questions to ask him, she had began to grow anxious of waiting. 

She knew the questions would have to wait, however, but seeing his face, that alone, eased that stress and anxiety from her. Everything had happened so quickly that her mind didn’t know how to calculate what his confession actually meant, and over the remainder of the weekend her mind had time to wander. He was dangerous, that much was apparent, but somehow, she also knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. That she was safe with him. 

It felt almost like a fever dream, everything happening so quickly. They had only just met, but suddenly, she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so comfortable with another person. So comfortable with being vulnerable, and content with sharing with him what she had been so keen on keeping from everyone else. Clearly he felt the same, that much she could gather herself, given his blatant honesty with her. 

Eric’s voice broke her from her thoughts as he continued his ramble on about how their trip to La Push Beach had gone and how she ‘had to join them next time’. She had to stop herself from cringing, not looking forward to coming up with another excuse in the future. She turned to him, attempting to give a reassuring smile. She didn’t want to come off rude, especially with the wide grin that was stretched across his face. He was just trying to be friendly, and that’s what she wanted. So, even if his persistence slightly annoyed her, she was still happy to have him around. 

Chills ran up her spine as icy fingertips brushed lightly across her lower back, bringing goosebumps quickly to the surface of her skin. She knew who it was, of course, before she looked up, having already gotten used to the feel of his touch, but that didn’t stop the flutter of her heart as her eyes met Jasper’s once more. He had sensed her unease from across the room and had decided to come to her rescue. 

“Will you sit with us for lunch today?” He asked, giving her a quirked eyebrow as well as a small smile. Alice had been pestering him since his return on Saturday to spend more time with the girl. As usual, she would get what she wanted, she already knew that of course, but that didn’t stop her from reminding him at every chance she got. 

Jasper watched as the gears in her head began to turn, slowly processing his invitation, her heart sputtering at his touch. He couldn’t help his smile from growing bigger across his face, enjoying hearing the reaction he had on her heart. “S-sure.” She stuttered out, turning back to the lunch lady to pay for her tray of food. She sent a small wave and smile to the boy, Eric, and fell in stride by Jasper’s side, his hand ghosting the small of her back as he lead her to the table that held the remainder of his family. 

Eric stood for a moment, mouth agape as he stared at their retreating figures. What was it with the new girls and the Cullens? Why was that family suddenly so sociable after a year of barely speaking to anybody? From across the cafeteria, the two were beginning to attract the stares from the rest of her friend group, and when she finally made it to the table, Jasper pulling her chair out for her to take a seat, the majority of the overcrowded room was practically ogling them. A fact, in which was doing nothing to ease the anxiety that had settled in the pit of her stomach.

Setting her tray down, she slowly dropped into the hard plastic seat, shoulders tensing as she took in the perfect faces sat in front of her. Camila had of course met Alice the week previous, but she had yet to meet Jasper’s other siblings. She wasn’t sure if she should feel more or less comfortable meeting the pale strangers now that she knew their secret, but the fact was, she knew and nothing would change that now. 

Feeling waves of anxiety and stress radiate from Camila, he decided now would be a time to use his powers, one that he hoped she wouldn’t be mad at him for later. He hated seeing the worry in her eyes and knew that her stress was unnecessary, so he did what he could and pushed feelings of calmness and comfortability towards her as he settled into the seat next to her. 

As the anxiety lifted from her shoulders, a polite smile formed on Camila’s lips. Jasper cleared his throat from beside her, gaining the attention of his siblings. “Camila this is my family.” He gestured towards the group. “Alice you met already.” He said pointing to the pixie haired girl on the other side of Camila.

The whole family already knew of his admission, and given the circumstances he was more that content with their reactions. He hadn’t exactly known what to expect from the situation, never having dealt with anything like it before. Carlisle and Esme had been happy for him, and though this slightly unnerved him, he knew it came with good intentions. He knew what coming clean to Camila could mean for her future, for their future, but he still refused to get his hopes up. Her knowing and having the choice to ‘live’ on had no guarantee that she would make that decision, and as much as it pained him, he knew that he would never be able to make that choice for her. 

Alice’s teeth shown brightly as she smiled at the girl, squealing lightly as she pulled her into a tight hug. Camila’s eyes widened, the immortal girl’s antics still surprising her despite already being on the receiving end previously. Before she was given the time to process and reciprocate the hug, Alice had pulled away and had returned to her comfortable position in her seat. 

Alice was of course ecstatic, even though she had seen the whole thing happen already, because now she was free to develop their friendship. She had seen the whole thing play out and knew just how close she would grow to Camila, and like a child on Christmas morning, was practically bouncing with anticipation when he had arrived home Saturday night. 

Jasper continued, stopping to roll his eyes at his sister. “This is Emmet and Rosalie.” He said, gesturing to the couple sitting at the opposite side of the table. Emmet gave a ginormous half smile half smirk to the girl, while Rosalie attempted the give a polite smile as well.

Emmet was of course laid back about the whole thing, only giving him a little bit of shit for finally finding his mate. Rosalie was surprisingly at ease with the situation, unlike her feelings towards Bella. Of course, Jasper knew why. She had always resented her immortality, having her humanity ripped away from her the way that it had been, and she wouldn’t wish that on anybody else. He knew her calm demeanor had to do with the fact that, unlike her human life, Camila had no chance of growing old. No chance of starting a family.

His heart ached at this knowledge, knowing that he would give anything he could to see Camila age into her beauty. To see her grow and start her adult life. To see her get married and have children, even if he wasn’t the one to give her that future. Unfortunately, maybe because God or whatever higher power was cruel or had a sick twisted sense of humor, she had no hope for that life. 

It had been an unexpected punch to the gut to meet her mother. She was such a perfect reflection of her daughter that it was almost like he was glimpsing into that impossible future. He knew that this would be how Camila would look, given the chance. But she didn’t have that chance, and that was his best guess as to why Rosalie had refrained from giving him the same shit she had been giving Edward. 

“And this is Edward.” Jasper said finally, turning to look at displeased expression of his adopted brother.

Edward had seemed slightly bitter about the situation. He obviously knew the differences between the two girls, but couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous at which the ease Jasper came by with telling Camila the truth. He himself would never wish the future of immortality onto Bella, but only wished that he didn’t have to suppress his want for the girl. He knew it was best to stay as far away from Bella as possible, hence why he had been avoiding her to the best of his abilities, but his resolve was beginning to waver. 

Jasper didn’t have to deal with any of this, despite having his own struggles. Camila already knew the truth about them, and soon she would be making that decision on her own. Hell, he didn’t even have to worry about his thirst around the girl, a fact that he couldn’t help but be bitter about. Edward had always had what he considered decent self control with human blood, something that he couldn’t say the same for with Jasper, and the one person that it truly mattered for, he was at his lowest point with self control. It was cruel irony. 

Despite not being able to read Edward’s mind like he could his, Jasper could feel his emotions, and he could fill in the rest himself. He didn’t want any animosity between him and his brother, but he knew that whatever Edward was feeling wouldn’t stop him from growing closer to Camila, and definitely wouldn’t stop Alice from begging him to let her spend more time with her. So that was why he had decided it was time to introduce her. What better time and place to break the ice between Camila and the rest of his family than the controlled environment of a school cafeteria? He had thought, and now, seeing the slight glare on Edward’s face, he couldn’t decide whether or not that had been a bad decision on his part.

As thoughts of anger rushed through Jasper’s mind, Edwards eyes flickered over to his. Edward’s glare softened as he processed Jasper’s internal dialog. He knew that it wasn’t his fault and he knew that it wasn’t Camila’s, but he couldn’t help how he felt. He was jealous and he was finding it difficult to hide his emotions. His eyes flitted across Jasper’s face, neck, and arms. The scars littered across his skin were a reminder to not push things with him. The crescents, nearly invisible to the human eye, were a gigantic red flag to any vampire. Neon lights that flashed bright as a warning to everyone around him to stay back or else. Although he knew that his brother would never hurt him, he also knew not to start a fight, because it would most definitely be one he would lose.

Huffing in irritation, Edward pulled out his chair, rushing to leave the cafeteria. He could try all he wanted to be civil and not start a fight, but he wasn’t about to sit there and take this torture. Over time it would get easier for him to cope, but in that moment, the wound was fresh and he needed to be far from the reminder. 

Jasper sighed in annoyance, rolling his eyes once again as he let his defenses fall back down to their normal level. “Ignore him.” He muttered to the girl beside him, slinging his arm protectively around the back of her chair.

——————

“So what’s with you and Cullen?” Tyler blurted out suddenly. Camila’s head fell to look at her boots that thudded along the hallway towards their last class of the day. She could feel the blood rushing up to her cheeks and knew that it would do little to help her case if he saw the growing blush. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, feigning confusion. It was a matter of time before someone started the inevitable conversation given Jasper’s display in the cafeteria that day, but she had hoped she would have a bit more time to prepare herself. 

Tyler stuffed his hands into his pockets awkwardly. “Yeah, you two seemed… cozy today at lunch.” He muttered.

Camila raised her head, quirking an eyebrow at the dark skinned boy in stride beside her. “Cozy?” She asked, a hint of humor tinting her voice. Tyler was clearly bothered by this whole situation, a fact that she found humorous given the circumstance. From the fact that Tyler had asked her to prom just a few days previous, she could gather herself that he was most likely jealous of Jasper. Not that he had any reason to be. Camila had every intention to stick to her plan of staying single and as much as she was beginning to care for Jasper, she didn’t see that changing.

A scoff sounded from the boy by her side as he rolled his eyes at her teasing. “Yeah. Cozy. You sat with his family at lunch instead of us, and he was practically all over you.” He argued. 

Camila laughed lightly at his words. “He was not all over me.” She argued. In fact, like usual, she had been hyper aware of every touch from the pale immortal. As usual, he had shown to be very hesitant in touching her, only giving the slight graze of his fingertips along her covered back as he lead her to the table. She of course was also extremely aware of the arm that he had slung protectively around the back of her seat after Edward’s whole display, but he had been very precise in not letting his cold skin actually touch her in any way.

Tyler groaned frustratedly. “Whatever it was, I don’t like it.” He complained.

Camila’s eyebrows knitted together. What was it with people at this school being assholes to them? The Cullen’s kept to themselves, sure, but they were never anything but polite to anyone they came into contact with. At this point, all these little comments that everybody kept making were beginning to piss her off. “And why should you not liking it mean anything to me?” She asked incredulously. Sure, she wanted to make friends, and be nice, but she was starting to become defensive over Jasper and she wasn’t just going to stand there and take everybody’s bullshit. Because that’s what it was. Complete and utter bullshit.

Tyler’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to respond in that way, never seeing her angry before. “I mean, he’s kind of creepy isn’t he? I’m just trying to look out for you. He doesn’t seem… good.” He said trailing off towards the end as he took in the expression of anger growing more and more prevalent on her face.

She had to bite back a snide remark as she tried to process how she could respond without sounding like a total bitch. An awkward silence rung between the two teens before she decided that she didn’t really care anymore. If he was going to give unsolicited advice to her when he barely knew her then she would respond accordingly. “No offense Tyler, but I didn’t ask for your shitty advice. I’m a big girl, I can look out for myself, thanks.” She said finitely.

Pushing her aching legs to move her forward at a faster pace, she let out an internal sigh of relief as the door to her calculous class came into view. Lunch had gone well, all things considered. Despite Edward’s little display, the rest of Jasper’s family had welcomed her with open arms. While the conversation mostly consisted of small talk and them asking her questions about herself, she could tell that they were all genuinely nice people. 

Alice had invited her over for the following weekend, in which Camila had immediately agreed to without thinking. Now that she had been given the time to think about the implications of the invite, she realized that she would be meeting their adoptive mother and seeing Carlisle. While she knew Carlisle fairly well, given meeting him the week prior, she realized how nervous she was to meet Esme. Jasper had talked the woman up so highly, but she couldn’t help but feel her nerves eating away at her. She would be meeting his mother soon, ‘adopted’ or not and it was only natural to have that kind of reaction. 

Jasper, as usual, was already seated at their assigned table by the time she had arrived to the classroom. Camila flitted to the back of the room to her seat, letting her body drop into the confines of the cool plastic, as she let out a heavy sigh. 

“Are you okay?” Jasper asked, concern lacing his voice. It was normal for her be exhausted by the end of the school day, but he could also feel her anger and frustration. The feelings set off warning bells in his mind and he was immediately on alert to what had upset her. 

Camila rolled her eyes, raking her slim fingers through the long dark strands of her hair. “Tyler Crowley is an asshole.” She said simply, annoyance still evident on her face as she recalled their conversation that had just taken place moments ago. 

His eyes flickered over to where said boy had just entered the classroom, narrowing as he took in the sight. “What did he say?” He asked, immediately defensive over the girl. 

“He apparently has an issue with you and ‘just wants to look out for me’.” She said, yanking her workbook and and pencil case from her backpack and slamming them down on the desk.

Jasper’s shoulder’s drooped at her words as he hummed in reply. He couldn’t even be mad. What Tyler said was clearly justified, whether or not Camila had realized. She should be warned about him. Just because he didn’t thirst for her blood didn’t mean that he wasn’t a danger towards her. Didn’t mean that he couldn’t hurt her, even if it wasn’t intensional. Didn’t mean that he wasn’t a monster at the end of the day.

Hearing his near silent response, Camila turned her head to see him looking down slightly defeated, eyes refusing to meet her own. “Jasper.” She said, trying and failing to get him to look at her. “Jasper.” She repeated, grasping at his hand  that laid in a tight fist at his thigh. 

Electricity shot through her fingers as they brushed the marble skin of his clenched knuckles, but she pushed on. “Can you look at me, please?” She asked, her soft voice contrasting the anger that had filled it just moments ago. 

His amber eyes flickered up to meet hers. As much as he wanted to sulk in that moment, he wanted more to give her what she wanted. Her eyes softened as she saw the pain that filled his. They were always filled with pain, but this was different. More of an inner torment and seeing it made her chest ache. 

She turned his fist over in her palm, nudging the fingers apart so she could intertwine them with her own. “He’s full of shit, Jazz. I know you would never hurt me.” She said, voice softly ringing in his ears. 

The pain in his heart grew at her words. He didn’t deserve her. She was too perfect for his damned self and he knew it, but that didn’t stop him from being grateful that she was there. It didn’t stop him from selfishly wanting her. He pulled their intertwined fingers up to his lips were he laid a soft kiss on the back of her palm, thanking her for her kindness. Thanking her for her comfort. 

The touch of his chilled lips on her skin sent her heart into overdrive, and knowing that he could he hear his effect on her didn’t help the blush that was creeping onto her cheeks. She had expected him to drop her hold after that, but instead, their hands remained, bound together and laying gently in his lap. 

Class continued, the two working together on finishing the next page in their worksheet. Jasper of course could finish the work in less than a minute, but anything that gave him the excuse to talk to Camila he would gladly do. She sat there, eyebrows furrowed as she worked over a particularly difficult problem on the sheet. Normally, she would have no problem solving the equations, but today her mind was wandering too much. She sighed, giving up as she let her pencil clatter onto the chipped veneer of the desk.

“Do you want to come over to my house today?” She asked suddenly. Clearly seeing that she had caught him off guard, she continued. “I have more questions.” She clarified. 

Jasper groaned internally. As much as he would love to avoid the inevitable conversation, he also knew that it had to happen at some point. At least he would get to spend more time with her, a definite plus. “Sure, I can just drive us after class if you’d like.” He offered. Alice had told him to drive separately to school that day, and now it was clear why. He would have to thank her later. 

Camila nodded, pulling her flip phone from her bag and trying to discreetly type a quick text to her mother letting her know that Jasper would drive her home. Doing so was a bit difficult to do one handed, but she wasn’t about to take her other hand out of his grasp. 

The remainder of the class trudged on slowly to Camila’s dismay. Now that she knew that she would be able to ask all of the questions that had been racing through her mind, she couldn’t seem to clear her head of them. Finally, a bell rang shrilly throughout the class, signaling the end of the school day. An unspoken agreement stood between her and Jasper as they both proceeded to pack away their belongings without undoing the grip on each other’s hands. 

She wasn’t sure what the hand holding meant to him or even herself, but she didn’t exactly care. She already had to constantly remind herself of her promise to keep any romance at bay, but hand holding didn’t necessarily have to mean that. It was comforting, having his cold palm pressed against hers, and despite her internal screaming at herself that it was a bad idea, she didn’t want to pull away. So there they were, walking down the hallway, hand in hand, attracting even more stares than usual. 

Camila let out a sigh as they reached the parking lot, the cool air feeling nice on her feverish skin. Puffs of vapor swirled in front of her mouth as steady breaths of hot air left her parted lips. Jasper had to rip his eyes away from the sight to make sure that he was walking in the right direction. He needed to pull his shit together. Kissing her hand had been bad enough, but he had to stop himself from thinking too much about her lips. Her soft warm plump lips. Jesus Christ, STOP. 

He wished so badly in that moment that he could’ve kissed her. Regardless of the numerous bystanders. However, he knew that it wasn’t safe. He didn’t trust himself enough not to end up accidentally hurting her. He didn’t even know if she would’ve kissed him back for fuck’s sake. And here he was feeling like an absolute creep again. 

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he pulled the passenger door of his car open for her. Reluctantly, she let loose of his grasp, immediately feeling an emptiness without it’s presence. She settled into the plush bucket seat, pulling her bag into her lap as he shut the door softly behind her. 

Flitting quickly, or as quick as seemed human, to the driver’s side, Jasper slid in and turned the key in the ignition. Shifting the car into reverse, he backed out of the parking spot and shifted back into drive as he sped out onto the street. He internally thanked his past self for buying a manual transmission before reaching over to grasp Camila’s hand once more. 

Camila let her hair fall in front of her face, hoping that the curtain of dark strands hid the smile that she couldn’t wipe away. For someone who was so adamant on not dating, she kept finding herself being giddy whenever he touched her. What was she a twelve year-old? He was just holding her hand, she shouldn’t feel like a swarm of butterflies was flying around in her stomach. 

The drive to Camila’s home hadn’t taken long, and by the time they arrived at the small house, he mother’s mini van was still absent from the driveway. She had replied earlier letting her know that she was going to go grocery shopping since she had time before she had to go to work, and Camila was happy to see that she hadn’t returned yet. One less awkward interaction with Jasper and her parents would always be a good thing. 

As they stepped through the threshold of the home, she found herself wishing she had cleaned her room. She hadn’t thought of the mess she had left behind before she had invited him over, albeit a small mess. Either way, she couldn’t help herself but try and hurriedly pick up the few pieces of clothing scattered around the room once they made it through the doorway. 

Once she was content with her ‘cleaning’ she shut the door softly behind her and plopped down on her mattress, the springs squeaking slightly in protest. Scooting backwards until her back met the wall, she patted the empty space beside her, gesturing for Jasper to join her. On one hand, she almost wanted to sit out on the couch in the living room, as it would probably seem less intimate that way, but she also didn’t want to be interrupted by her mother when she inevitably returned home from the store. So there they were sitting side by side awkwardly on her worn out used mattress and now she didn’t know how to start the conversation. 

Sensing her hesitation, Jasper spoke up. “So, you have questions.” He said, wanting to end the torture of waiting any longer. If she was going to run away screaming, he would rather it be sooner than later, because the anticipation was slowly eating away at him. 

Camila sucked in a breath. “How old are you?” She blurted out. Jasper groaned, rubbing his hands down his face. He should’ve expected her to jump right to the point, but, somehow, he hadn’t. “You said it was a conversation for another day. It’s another day now.” She reasoned.

“I know. I know.” He said with a sigh. “I’m just really old, Darlin’.” He said, hoping the nickname would distract her. It didn’t.

She scoffed. “That’s not an answer.” She said bluntly. 

Jasper closed his eyes, sucking in a breath as he braced for the impact of her reaction. “I’m a hundred and sixty-one.” He muttered lowly. Utter silence followed. 

Camila didn’t know what she expected, if the age he had given was younger or older than she had thought it would be, but hearing him say such a precise age made everything seem way more real. She couldn’t find the words to say in response, so instead, she reached over to grasp his hand once more, letting him know that she wasn’t disgusted like he had thought. 

“Will you tell me your story?” She asked, not being able to help her intrigue.

His bright gold eyes met her emerald irises. “It’s kind of gruesome.” He warned, trying his best to prolong the inevitable admission of his past, but knowing that it was just that. Inevitable.

“I want to know.” She said simply. “If you’re willing to tell me.” She clarified. 

Jasper was fucked and he knew it. Anything that she wanted, he would give her in a heartbeat, but she would hate him after this. “I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings.” He said, reaching his free hand over reluctantly, to roll up the sleeve on the arm that she held. 

She wasn’t sure how she hadn’t noticed them before, but there they were. Hundreds of crescent shaped scars shimmering lightly in the dim lighting emitted from her ceiling fan. Now that she knew what to look for, she could see the scars were scattered across every piece of visible skin. Down his arms, onto the hand that was holding hers, a few up his neck to his handsome face. “Are those… bites?” She asked incredulously.

“Battle scars.” He responded, a small smirk gracing his lips. “I was seventeen when I joined the Confederate Army.” He said, pausing when he saw her grimace. “I know. I wish I could say that I didn’t know what I was fighting for, or against, but I knew enough. I’m not proud of it.” He said hanging is head in shame. 

“I was the youngest major in the Texas cavalry. All without having seen any real battle.” He continued.

Camila perked up. “I knew that was a Texas accent.” She said smirking at him, gaining a small smile in repose. Leave it to her to try and lighten the mood as soon as it gets dark.

Still, he pushed on, knowing that it was about to become a much darker conversation. “I was riding back to Galveston...after evacuating a column of women and children. When I saw her.” He said dauntingly. “I immediately offered her my aid.” He continued.

“Maria was creating an army. A newborn vampire army.” He clarified. “Our kind are at their strongest in their first year after changing. Their human blood still lingers in their veins and gives them more speed and strength.” He explained.

“Newborn armies were very common in the South, and cost a brutal battles for territory.” He continued, losing himself in the story. “Maria won them all. She was smart, careful. And she had me. I was the second in command. My abilities to control emotions served her well.” He said, looking down to the warm hand he still had clutched in his own, trying to find comfort in her touch. 

“I trained her newborns. An endless occupation since she never let them live beyond their first year.” He said, cringing from the memory. “It was my job to dispose of them.” He said, voice thick with emotion. It pained him to remember what he had done. To remember their pain. “I could feel everything they felt.”

The crease between Camila’s brows deepened. It clearly hurt for him to recall these memories, and she found herself wishing that she could take that pain away. 

“I thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet. She pulled the strings. I didn't know there was another way. Until I found Alice in 1948. Now she'd seen me coming, of course.” He paused, remembering that this would wouldn’t make much sense to Camila. 

He gathered his thoughts quickly, trying explain the best he could. “She has visions, of possible futures. They change when decisions are made, but she knew when and where to find me.” He smiled slightly. “She saw you, even though she conveniently didn’t warn me.” He explained.

“I don't know what I'd have become without her. I’d done horrible, unspeakable things, and she helped me get past that. My family choses to feed off of animal blood rather than human blood, but it wasn’t always like that for me. I’ve killed innocent people. I’m not a… good person.” He ended his story with a sigh, unsure of how she was feeling. 

Her mind was filled with conflicting emotions that he couldn’t quite place all together. “I completely understand if you want me to leave.” He said, moving to pull his hand away from hers. 

Her grip tightened as her eyes shot up to his. “No, stay. Please.” She muttered. She knew how her reaction must seem. In truth, she had almost expected worse. As bad as his story was, at least he didn’t actively kill people. It was a horrible argument, she knew, but after being given the rest of the weekend to let her mind wander, she had tried to prepare herself for the worst. 

Her silence was agony and he couldn’t help himself when he asked. “Can you please tell me what you’re thinking?”

Camila sighed, bringing her eyes back to his. “I’m not going to sit here and act like what you did wasn’t wrong, because it was. But I’m also not going to actively try and make you feel any worse for it. You’ve had over fifty years to regret what you did, and you clearly do. I’m not going to judge you for something that you wish you could’ve changed, not when I know you’re a good person now.” She said. 

Jasper shook his head in disbelief. How was she this forgiving? It seemed impossible. He was sure she would be disgusted with him, but here she was forgiving him for something he couldn’t even forgive himself for. “How are you not terrified of me?” He asked.

She looked deep into his eyes as she answered. “I’m not scared because I know you won’t do anything to hurt me.” She said simply.

“I could hurt you on accident. Very easily.” He argued, looking ashamed. “I could crush you just by hugging you too tightly. I know you don’t understand fully, but it would be so easy that I actively have to try and not hurt you.” He said, a deep frown on his face.

Camila’s eyebrows furrowed as she brought her free hand down to trace the crescent shaped scars that littered his arm. “I don’t know what to tell you. I trust you, that’s the best answer I can give you, Jasper. You need to try and have trust in yourself.” She answered.

Jasper shook his head, baffled that she had so much trust in him to begin with. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her. Seeing the sadness still in his eyes, she rushed, trying to find a change of topic to lighten the mood from the darkness that it had reached. “So, if you can manipulate emotions and Alice sees visions of the future, does anyone else in your family have a ‘gift’.” She asked, curiosity peaking once again. 

Jasper was thankful for the change of topic, already feeling himself beginning to spiral from the continuous self hatred. “Yeah, Edward is the only other one in our family. He can, um, read minds… I know it sounds ridiculous.” He said, slightly humiliated at how fictional everything sounded. 

“Oh god. That’s… embarrassing.” She muttered, her mind beginning to wander. Edward had no doubt read her mind and heard her thoughts of Jasper. Those were thoughts she didn’t even want to admit to herself and now he definitely had knew all about them. 

Suddenly her mind went to his exit at lunch. Was that why he had left? Was it something she had thought that had set him off? “What happened with him at lunch today?” She asked.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, Jasper tried to form the most comprehensible explanation. “He’s jealous that I can tell you the truth and he can’t tell Bella.” He said simply. 

“Bella Swan?” Camila asked.

Jasper nodded. “He… has a particular interest in her. He’s been trying to avoid her because he knows that it won’t end well, and he’s jealous that I don’t have to do the same with you.” He explained. 

“Why is it different with me?” She asked, trying to ignore the implication that Jasper had an interest in her.

His eyes trailed across the bare walls of her bedroom, looking anywhere but at her as he continued. “He has a really hard time with the scent of her blood, while yours is different for me.” He said.

“Because of the leukemia?” She asked.

Jasper nodded again. “It’s more dangerous for her than it is for you because of that. It’s hard for him to even be in the same room as her. Either way it would end badly.” He explained.

“End badly how? Surely it could end in more ways than just him killing her right?” She asked. She knew the subject had to be touchy and sensitive, but she couldn’t keep herself from asking.

Here it was. The scariest topic of them all. If he didn’t handle this just right, if he didn’t use the right words, then there went his chance of a future with her. He gulped, mustering the courage to speak. “He could kill her or he could change her. Both which he doesn’t want to do.” 

Camila’s eyed widened. She hadn’t even thought of that. Changing into a vampire. She wasn’t sure why her mind hadn’t gone there, but she hadn’t even considered that a possibility. She couldn’t help it when her mind wandered to what this could mean for her. He had said it like he was trying to imply something else entirely. He had to know the possible endings. Surely Alice had seen. 

“Are there more possible endings for me? Futures where I don’t die from the leukemia?” She asked. She had to know. She had spent a year coming to terms with the fact that her life would be cut short, but now she wasn’t sure. She knew that her illness would in no doubt end up taking her human life, but what if she turned. What if she changed into something else where the cancer didn’t effect her anymore? What if she wasn’t human anymore? She had to know, because suddenly, after a year of withering away, she might have another option. She might have hope.

Jasper turned his eyes back to hers. This was the make it or break it moment. He sucked in a breath, feeling a tightness in his chest regardless of the fact that he didn’t need the oxygen. 

And he spoke. “Yes… Alice has seen it."

Next Chapter

Tag List:

@jasper-the-beloved @parkchaeyoung1997 @bobaopal @izzyisstuff @itsmytimetoodream @soyeonrai @just-browsing101 @demirunner @dkbj14 @iloveramensm @imyelenasexual @bella7866 @ropickle @may-and-lay @breezybeesposts @emily-a13 @mamajaxx2511 @meyrryme @bertholdtswife @swagcopangeloop @idonotcareaboutyouropinion @honey132 @sakurayuki8655-blog @braveangel777 @illogic-ally @obsessed-with-pychopaths @natsvenom @iamveryholyiswear @too-many-fandoms-tbh @loser-syrus

#bella swan #edward cullen #twilight #twilight smut #eventual smut #slow burn #charlie swan #forks washington #jasper hale #jacob black #jasper #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale smut #jasper whitlock #esme cullen #bella cullen #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #jasper hale fluff #jasper hale fic #fluff #eclipse #angst #fic: collarbones

[charcoaledrocks]

hello Tumblr User @pittdpeaches you ruined my life / j

#my art #doodles #lmk #lmk fanart #lego monkie kid #lmk mk #lmk qi xiaotian #qi xiaotian #lmk redson #lmk red son #redson #lmk spicynoodles #spicynoodleshipping #a garden across our collarbone #agaoc #THIS FIC TEARS ME APART #ITS SO GOOD ???? #pitted ​me and my friend are convinced you sold your soul to be so talented at writing bc what the hell #head in hands #thats very slash pos btw #<33

[spoopdeedoop]

when there’s gardens across our collarbone?? or soemthing??

(fanart of this awesome fic by pittedpeaches and my god this fic keeps me up at night i reread it every day i love it so much puts it in my mouth)

bonus doodle:

#my art #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk fanart #lego monkie kid fanart #spicynoodles #spicynoodlesshipping #spicynoodles fanart #lmk mk #lmk red son #pittedpeaches fanart #a garden across our collarbone #idk if this scene makes sense out of context? but im tired and this took a week so idc anymore #essentially the fic is a soulmate au where whatever you draw on your body shows up on your soulmate’s #and im not a soulmate au fan but this fic changed the game for me man #TAGGING THE AUTHOR AGAIN BC I’M ANNOYING <3

[winwintea]

secure that card! 04. refund date

Chenle couldn’t help but feel a little remorseful as he watched you limp out of your dorm building in crutches. 

“Hey” He waved, as he rolled down the window.

You gave him a sideways glance, looking at his 2024 Mercedez GLE63, and then back at him, “A little help, please?” 

His expression hardened, as he quickly scurried out of the car, running around to grab the designer bags from your hands. You hoisted yourself into the passenger seat, and he laid your crutches and bags on the backseat. 

When Chenle started driving, you decided to make small conversation. “I’m, sure you’ve read my hospital records but let’s pretend like that never happened. I’m Y/n L/n. Nice to meet you.” “Zhong Chenle.” He smiled, still looking at the road. “Sorry for running into you.” Your face relaxed a bit as you shifted into the seat, slumping your head back, “It was my fault anyways. I should’ve been looking for cars when recklessly crossing the street.” you added, sighing, “My boyfriend had just broken up with me, right before the accident. Wasn’t really thinking clearly.” “Boyfriend…?” Chenle asked curiously, eagerly listening to you speak. 

“Oh yeah.” You gave him a helpless smile, as the mood started to turn a little sour.

Chenle picked up on this, and he didn’t want to lose this perfect opportunity to get you to open up more, so he tried to crack a light joke, “Honestly I’m just glad you didn’t sue me.” He ran a couple of fingers through his hair before turning to look at you for the first time since he had started driving.

“Are you kidding? You paid for my medical bills. That’s more than I needed.” He chuckled, continuing to focus on the road again, “It was the least I could do for you. And now you won’t even accept the other gifts.”

Before you could answer, Chenle quickly changed the subject, “So how long have you been here?” You looked at him curiously, wondering about the sudden change of subject, “Do you mean on campus? Or like in general.” He realized that the question was phrased in a weird way, and corrected himself, “Well I’m from Shanghai, so i’m not a native here. However, you seem to have no accent, so I can merely assume you’re from the US? Am I correct?” “Oh!” You smiled, and Chenle seemed to notice some sparks of light reflected by the sun that seemed to lit up from your eyes. It made you seem even more beautiful. “Born & raised here. Live laugh love.” You sighed again, resting your head on the headrest. You two were almost at the mall, already pulling into the parking lot. “It must be hard to live away from home.” “Actually, it’s quite nice. Living abroad is a fun challenge.” Chenle wondered how the conversation had suddenly turned on him. At least he knew now that you were in fact a US citizen, which was key to his task. Now for step two: How to win you over?

“I’ve never heard anyone describe it as 'fun'.” you looked at him, puzzled. “Well…” He took a breath, steering the car into a parking spot. “I’m glad to be the first.”

prev | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ▸ zhong chenle is the owner of many cards. a black card? he owns that. he even has a stanford student id card. the one card he doesn’t own though? a green card. and if chenle plays his cards right, he just may be able to secure one by wooing you. or it could all fall through… who knows?

TAG LIST ▸@marvelahsobx @lyvhie @odxrilove @jkslvsnella @aquaphoenixz @wonnieluv @acidwon @syatchy @sleepyvic @grassbutneo @chcnlcs @taeeflwrr

#to all men: “nice collarbones” is not a compliment #do not flirt like chenle thanks #thanks have a great day #nct #nct dream #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fic #chenle #nct 127 #nct x reader #nct dream fic #zhong chenle #zhong chenle x reader #chenle x reader #chenle x y/n #nct dream social media au #nct dream smau #nct smau #nct social media au #chenle smau #chenle social media au #nct dream hard hours #nct hard hours #nct dream series #nct dream imagines #chenle hard hours #zhong chenle fic #chenle scenarios

[dolphitos]

"我可以永远凝视你的艺术"

Thank you @pittdpeaches for ruining my mental health /jk. My heart went crazy on the last chapter and I went INSANE so I decided to finish once for all this drawing I have since september and never finished cuz of high school. Also that imma try to make more fanart of GAOCB, beware.

Fic:

also silly Mk sketch that's on Red's hair

#monkie kid fanart #lmk mk #qi xiaotian #spicynoodles #lmk art #red son #lmk spicynoodles #lmk red son #lmk fanart #lmk fanfiction #lmk fic #a garden across our collarbone #IM FUCKIN NORMAL ABT THEM #I HOPE THEY EXPLODE AND RADIATION HITS ME #redson is so stupid

[conjoinedravioli]

Thanks to this fic by Pittedpeaches on Ao3, I have drawn something. Now EVERYONE GO READ IT, IT'S AMAZING!!!

#a garden across our collarbone #pittedpeaches #lmk spicynoodles #implied spicynoodles #lmk fanart #lmk #red son #lmk red son #everyone go read this fic NOW!!!!! /nf #a garden across our collarbone chapter 3

[mossghosst]

everyone go read “a garden across our collarbone” by pittedpeaches rn /nf

(alt versions on twt and ig and speed paint on ig :])

#lmk #lmk fanart #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid fanart #red son lmk #redson #lmk red son #red son #redson lmk #lmk redson #spicynoodles #technically since yk it’s a spicynoodles fic #pittedpeaches ruined my life /pos #a garden across our collarbone #THERES A FIC TAG??? OH MY GOD IM GOING THROUGH THE ART THERE LATER #mossghosstdrawings

[i-am-a-fan]

How I think Chapter 12 of Garden Across Our Collarbones By @pittdpeaches should have ended

#Yes. It says asshole on redson’s forehead #my art #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #lmk mk #lmk red son #I think the O in asshole would be the red dot on his forehead too #lmk spicynoodles #spicynoodleshipping #I love this fic so much #i can’t believe this is the first fanart i did for it #do you. do you see my vision #pittedpeaches spoilers #garden across our collarbones #speck art

[salemontrial]

So. Chapter 22 huh.

@pittdpeaches

#emotional punch to the larynx/pos #i sobbed #yellow roses for friendship baybee!!!!! #was gonna use pink chrysanthemums but then i remembered chrysanthemums are already a thing for this fic #theyre so important to me. #HIS FIRST FRIEND. #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #a garden across our collarbone #agaocb #a garden across our collarbone fanart #lmk red son #lmk mei #if any of yall tag this as dragonfruit ill start biting/lh/srs.

[nateezfics]

#i need him in the nastiest dirtiest most disrespectful way #the shoulders the collarbone the skin #the hip swaying #the confidence but also the bashfulness #he’s GLOWING #he’s so mf hot i can’t do this anymore i NEED him #need him so fuckin bad #plz if one of my writer moots would write me a fic based off this hongjoong omfg i’d love you forever #hongjoong hard thoughts #joongie #🌸

[ashcal99]

Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale VII

Chapter Seven

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn, blood

Words: 6.1k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. Sorry it took me so long to update, life has been completely hectic. Hope you enjoy x

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

February 5th, 2005

Soft music rung through the otherwise silent cab of Jasper’s car, the gentle thrum of the guitar filling the space between the too occupants. He had put on the music in hopes to help at least partially settle the nerves that were clear as day on Camila’s face. She sat in the passenger seat, spinning the metal rings that hung loosely on the thin fingers of her right hand, a nervous tic of hers that jasper couldn’t help but notice. Her left hand remained in his, the constant touch of their skin being something that they both needed. 

Jasper weaved through the treelined road, forest blurring past as he tried to keep his focus on the drive and not the way Camila had her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Any normal day, he would use his powers to help ease her anxiety, but that would’ve gone against her explicit request to refrain from doing so. Camila didn’t want her emotions of meeting Esme for the first time to be skewed in any way, no matter how much more comfortable it would make her. 

In truth, she was terrified of making a bad impression. Sure, she knew Carlisle, but she didn’t exactly know him personally. If she really did stand a chance at all of living with these people for the rest of her existence, then she wanted nothing to obscure her perception of them or their perception of her. She had worried all morning, not wanting to come off in any bad way, she had even gone as far as to wear something else besides her normal graphic t-shirt and leggings. 

It wasn’t anything fantastic or impressive, but the dark denim that fit snuggly around her thin waist, thanks to a belt fastened tightly through the hoops, and the simple ivory cotton long-sleeve that she wore under her jacket were far from her usual attire. Despite Jasper telling her that she needn’t worry about impressing his family, she couldn’t help but feel as if it was a necessity. There was a lot at stake. Not only did she care about what they thought of her because of her feelings for Jasper, but she dreaded the idea of them stuck with her for eternity and secretly despising her. She wasn’t about to make a decision that would effect everyone else so greatly without making sure it would be the best for all people involved first. 

Sure, maybe it didn’t help that Edward had already shown his distaste for her, regardless of his reasoning. Yes, Jasper had explained why Edward had been acting the way he had, but she would be lying if she said a small part of her was saying otherwise. Telling her that the immortal teen had a valid reason for his resentful behavior towards her and it was actually all her fault. That same little voice screaming at her that she would make them all be miserable if she did choose to stay with them

Still, despite her nervousness and that pesky little voice, she was actually excited to be officially introduced to his family. With the normal lunches in the school cafeteria being the exception, she hadn’t exactly seen Jasper interact much with his family and the idea intrigued her to say the least. She had really only seen one side of Jasper, the side he was willing to show her, and she couldn’t help but want to see every other side of him that existed. The good and the bad, if the bad even existed in the first place. Though the circumstance was far from a normal teenage experience, this had to have been the most normal thing for the two. 

So, when the car finally pulled up to the house, a modern looking mansion that was covered in large glass panels, her heart had sped up on newfound adrenaline. A mixture of bad and good nerves filled her chest, turning the food that Jasper had been insistent on buying her for lunch in her stomach as her eyes took in the beauty of the sculpture-like home. Jasper’s hand let loose of hers as he flitted at an inhuman speed to open her door for her, gone and then back again in a blur. The same hand was offered back to her, his usual gentlemanly self offering to help her out of the vehicle. 

She gulped, attempting and failing to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat as she took his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet. His hand remained in hers as he lead her to the front door of the large home. The soles of their shoes crunched against the gravel of the driveway, a stark contrast to the wide smooth concrete stairs that lead up to the entry of the house. 

Jasper dropped his grip on her hand, reaching to pull the large glass door open, gesturing her into the opening as he followed behind her, hand on the small of her back. Camila’s eyes flickered around the bright white walls of the room, eyes wide as she took in the luxurious beauty of the home, small beams of light reflecting off of the various glossy surfaces around them in a soft glow. “Woah.” She muttered, not able to stop herself from gaping at the beautiful artwork that was scattered about the contemporary home. It would be impressive to anyone, but especially to someone that lived in a home like she did. Suddenly, she couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at the state Jasper had seen her room in so many times.

Jasper cleared his throat softly at her side, grasping her attention briefly as he asked. “May I take your jacket for you, Darlin’?” A soft blush creeped onto her cheeks at the nickname, not able to get used to it no matter how often he called her it, as she nodded slightly. Her eyes flickered back to the stunning home as Jasper stepped behind her, gently sliding the soft fabric from her shoulders. Goosebumps rose on her arms as his cool fingers grazed delicately across the thinly covered skin. She blinked rapidly, attempting to keep herself from becoming too distracted by the simple touch. 

“Camila!” A high voice chirped from her left as a blur raced towards her. Chilled arms embraced her frail frame and she told herself that she would eventually get used to Alice and her antics, even if that day was far in the future. Either way, Camila was trilled to except the girl’s friendship with literal open arms. 

A huff of a laugh left the teen’s lips as she reciprocated the hug. “Hi, Alice.” She greeted, the smile refusing to falter on her lips. The arms released their grip on her shoulders as Alice pulled away, smile shinning as bright as ever.

“It’s about time you got here.” She said, giving a pointed look to her adoptive brother.

Jasper rolled his eyes. “I had to make sure she was fed, didn’t I? What kind of a boyfriend would I be otherwise?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at his sister expectantly. The word ‘boyfriend’ had of course sent Camila’s heart racing, as much as she trying to keep it at a steady pace.

Alice scoffed at his words. “I’m just messing with you and you know it. Besides, you know you just wanted more alone time with her, we could’ve fed her here.” She teased, smirking as she turned away, looping her arm through Camila’s as she lead her deeper into her home. 

“Esme is so excited to meet you.” She gushed to the girl, pulling the frail human along with her as she purposely ignored her brothers distaste of the theft of his girlfriend. Camila struggled slightly to follow, forcing her feet to keep up and not trip over themselves as Alice practically dragged her to the living room of the home. 

Her heart thudded along, speeding slightly as she realized that what she had been so nervous about all morning was literally right around the corner. She couldn’t decide if she slightly despised Alice for forcing her into this or if she was thankful, not knowing if she would be able to do so on her own. Either way, the remainder of the immortal family was just a breath away and she was beginning to regret telling Jasper to hold back with his powers. 

As the trio rounded the corner in a decent sized sitting room, the pale beautiful faces of Carlisle and what she assumed to be Esme coming into view. Camila forced her eyes onto the woman before her, smiling shyly back as warmth creeped up her neck. The woman came slowly to a stand, trying her best not to frighten the girl as she beamed a bright smile to her. 

Jasper had been correct when describing her, she had a visible kindness about her, a motherly aura that was obvious as soon as she had stepped into the room. Alice’s touch dropped from her arm, as it was quickly replaced with the return of Jasper’s hand within her own. The immortal girl sent Camila a small reassuring smile, knowing that Jasper’s touch would be able to comfort her much more than her own. She flitted upstairs, deciding that she would find Camila again later when everything would be less overwhelming for her. 

Carlisle perked up, rising from his feet. “Camila, how are you feeling.” He asked, not being able to keep his centuries of being a doctor at bay as he spoke to his patient.

Camila grinned lopsided. “Not bad, all things considered.” She said, figuring that she could be far worse given her circumstance. Carlisle nodded curtly, content with her answer for the time being.

Jasper cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the other three in the room. “Esme, this is Camila. Camila, this is my mother for all intents and purposes, Esme.” He introduced, causing the smile on Esme’s face to broaden as she took the couple in, drinking up the sight of the two. 

The woman walked forwards, stepping closer to the girl as she greeted her tight motherly embrace. “It’s lovely to meet you Camila, Jasper has told me so much about you.” Esme said, causing blood to flood her cheeks as she blushed a deep red at the information. 

Forcing the lump from her throat, she spoke, careful to keep her voice from shaking with the nerves that had long since settled in her chest. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too. You have a beautiful home.” She said politely, trying to focus on the feel of Jasper’s skin on her fingertips. 

Esme’s smile refused to drop as looked around the stunning house around her. “Thank you, I designed it myself.” She admitted, pride clear in her voice. “Although, I do have to admit, we haven’t gotten a lot of use out of some of the features until now. Perhaps you will give an excuse to finally use the kitchen?” She asked, smiling brightly.

“I already took her to get food before coming here.” Jasper informed her.

Esme’s eyes flickered between the two. “Perhaps another time then. Just let us know if you get hungry and we’ll get you something.” She concluded. Jasper’s eyes seemed to stick to Camila’s face as the stress seemed to melt away from her features. Jasper had been right of course, Esme was warm and welcoming, everything that a good mother should be, everything that her mother was. Perhaps she needed more time to get to know the family, but regardless, it didn’t take much to realize that they were all good people with good hearts, especially the woman standing in front of her. 

Esme’s eyes flickered down to the couple’s intertwined fingers, unable to keep the smile from forming on her face. The look in Jasper’s eyes as he gazed at Camila was one that Esme knew all too well. It was the look of love. Something that she had not been sure he would ever find, but was so happy to see that he had. 

It had been so long that Jasper had been alone in life and the sight of him with her was something she couldn’t have ever imagined. The joy that rushed through her heart at the sight seemed impossible. Jasper had been through so much throughout his long life and it was almost hard to believe that he was finally getting a glimpse of the happiness that she knew he deserved.

Carlisle cleared his throat, seeing that his wife’s attention was otherwise occupied. “Jasper, why don’t you show her around the rest of the house?” He suggested, giving the blonde a pointed look. Jasper smiled thankfully at the man, grateful that he had saved the two of them from anymore embarrassment Esme could’ve possibly inflicted. 

Jasper lead the way up one of many staircases in the home, careful to not go quickly as he knew Camila would never let him cary her up the flight. Each room seemed to be more stunning than the last, the sheer beauty and vulnerability of the many glass panes being a lot to take in as it was. 

The house, in all truth, had surprised Camila. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, surely not anything like the dungeons she had seen fictional vampires live in in movies, but defiantly not this. The whole home was void of the tragedies each member of the family had endured and was replaced with equal amounts of beauty. Finally, they came to a stop outside of a door, which Jasper silently opened and lead her inside. 

Camila knew before he even said anything that this was his room. The plush forest green couch along the wall, the rows and rows of books that lined the rest of the space, the overwhelming calming atmosphere, the whole place screamed Jasper. “This is my room.” He said, allowing her to lead him further inside to whatever had peaked her interest most. 

Her feet carried her to the built in shelves that lined the walls with what had to have been close in not a thousand books. Thicker spines in the collection caught her attention first, so she moved forwards, eyes squinting as she tried to make out the titles of the large books. “History books?” She asked, humor coating her voice as a small smirk grew bigger by the second on her lips. 

Jasper stepped closer to the shelves. “Are you going to make fun of me for being a nerd?” He asked in mock offense, unable to keep his growing smile hidden.

A light laugh left her open lips as she turned to face him briefly. “No it’s not that, it just seems… incredibly fitting.” She teased, the smirk growing even larger.

“Now, I don’t know if that means I should be more or less offended.” He said, cocking his head to the side in question. 

“Less, promise.” Camila said, eyes wandering the rest of the room. For the most part, the room was bare, his time obviously being filled mostly with reading. “What do you do for fun around here besides reading history books?” She asked, turning her eyes to meet his. 

“I like baseball.” He said immediately, obviously not needing to put much thought into it before answering.

Camila quirked an eyebrow at the blonde. “Watching or playing?” She asked curiously.

“Both.” Jasper answered.

The curious expression didn’t drop from her face as the admission just added more questions to be answered. She knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able to play normal baseball given his supernatural speed and strength, and was dying to know all of the details. “How is that possible?” She asked.

“It’s a bit complicated, but I promise I’ll show you one day.” He assured her, happy to see the she had accepted his answer for the time being. “But I do watch games with Emmet and Edward a lot as well.” He continued.

Her smirk returned in a flash, something about his last sentence clearly being very humorous to her. “What?” He asked.

“Oh it’s just very boyish of you, watching baseball with your brothers.” She said.

“Would it humor you to know that I promised to watch the Super Bowl with them tomorrow?” He asked, immediately receiving his answer as she let out a snicker in response. Jasper rolled his eyes playfully. “The goal is to appear as close to a normal human as possible is it not?” He asked, lifting his free hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

Camila smiled, trying and failing as usual to ignore the racing of her heart at his touch. “Oh trust me, you defiantly are far from convincing anyone that you’re normal.” She muttered.

It was Jasper’s time to smirk as a memory popped into the forefront of his mind. “Oh yeah, what was it again? Ridiculously attractive? Inhumanly so?” He teased, unable to stop himself as he saw the blush rise on her cheeks once again. 

Her free hand came up to punch his shoulder playfully, her knuckles feeling as if they hit solid stone. “Shut up.” She muttered, looking down in attempt to hide the growing redness. 

“Why don’t you make me, Darlin’?” He asked, dropping their intertwined fingers and settling instead to wrap his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her the rest of the way towards him, needing to feel her closer to himself. 

Camila wasn’t too sure what pushed her to do so confidently, her usual shy demeanor dissolving quickly away as the seconds ticked by. Maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of being in Jasper’s home, being welcomed as one of the family’s own, or maybe just Jasper and his habit for making her feel like the rest of the world was melting away whenever he was touching her. Either way, it didn’t take long for her to comply and fill the gap between them, wrapping her arms securely around his shoulders, and pushing up on her toes until their lips met in a soft embrace. 

Like usual, despite the cool temperature of his skin, the touch of his lips set her ablaze. Her heart thudded along in her chest at an almost embarrassing rate considering that he could hear all of it. Her fingers reached up from around his neck, curling them in the soft golden curls at the base. She pulled away, ending the delicate touch of their lips all too soon. They stood like that for a moment, just holding each other, foreheads pressed together, just soaking in their presence. 

Jasper was the first to pull away, reluctantly forcing himself to do so as he allowed her to go back to her snooping. Her eyes continued scanning the rows and rows of books, recognizing some as she went, making mental notes of talking points when her eyes scanned over a few of her favorites. One of which had just grasped her attention, her fingers raising to grab the bound pages as a sudden blinding light ripped Camila from her focus, her hand dropping back down to her side.

Curiosity filled her eyes as set them upon Jasper’s face. The light was coming from him. Okay, maybe not from him, but the sun had begun to shine into the windows just to their right, like a cloud had finally drifted past and the light was somehow reflecting off of his skin. She stood there in awe, not sure how exactly to react to the stunning appearance in front of her. 

“This is why you can’t go out in the sun.” She said suddenly as the realization finally hit. “I can see how that would be… distracting.” She admitted, eyes still wandering his skin in awe as she stepped closer, allowing her fingertips to brush the cool skin of his cheek.

Jasper nodded slightly. “That’s why you will unfortunately have to go without me on Monday and Tuesday.” He said, causing an exaggerated pout to form on her lips. “It’ll be okay.” He said, laughing lightly, trying convince himself just as much as her.

Camila’s eyes stayed, glued to his skin as she reached down to grasp his hand in her own, bringing it up to get a closer look at the stunning shimmer of his skin. She couldn’t decide if it looked more like it was shimmering or if it had just caught on fire, the blinding light much like hot flames flickering over his body. She supposed that this must be where the ‘burning in the sun’ thing came from, a now fairly obvious origin of the story. 

Delicate notes filled the air, rolling throughout the open room as the sound thankfully pulled her thoughts away from the upcoming absence of Jasper in the days to come. It took her just a moment to recognize the sound of a piano somewhere within the home. Whoever was playing was doing so beautifully and she was having a hard time focusing on anything else in the moment. 

Jasper, seeing the interest in her eyes, spoke up. “Do you want to go listen?” He asked, not waiting for an answer as his fingers intertwined in her own and he begun to lead her through the hallways. Her eyes widened as they rounded the corner, surprised to see Edward of all people sitting at the large shinny black grand piano occupying the middle of the room. 

She pulled he lip between her teeth, debating for a moment if she should bring attention to herself before realizing that he would’ve already known that they were there watching him play. “You play beautifully.” She spoke out, catching the attention of the brooding vampire behind the keys. 

“Thanks.” He muttered, eyes returning quickly to the song as his fingers danced quickly across the keys. Camila’s eyes flicked up to Jasper, giving him a small nervous smile before dropping his grasp and making her way towards his adoptive brother. Despite the situation making her uncomfortable, she knew it was necessary. The last thing she wanted was any animosity between her and Edward and if that meant that she was the one that needed to initiate any form of friendship then so be it. 

“Do you mind?” She asked gesturing to the space on the bench beside him. He shook his head no, scooting over slightly to make room for her to join him on the seat. She lowered herself onto the plush cushion, rolling her sore shoulders and she positioned her hands over the piano. Her fingertips grazed lightly over the ivory keys, delicately pressing as they went, emitting a soft melody throughout the room. Edward smiled softly, listening as the notes continued one after the other. “Jasper didn’t mention that you played.” He spoke, eyeing her thin fingers as they continued. 

Camila hummed in response. “To be fair, I’m pretty sure I never mentioned it. It’s been a while since I’ve had anything to practice with.” She admitted, thinking back to the easier times she had. Before she got sick. Before everything changed so drastically. Back to when she was just a normal teenager. She had taken piano classes since middle school, but when she had gotten diagnosed, the practicing had dwindled significantly, along with everything else in her life. 

Edward eyed the girl, maybe for the first time understanding the extent of the pain she had been through. The memories that flooded her mind were difficult for her to think of, that much was obvious. He hadn’t exactly gone out of his way to see her side of things throughout this whole mess, but finally being able to read her mind made his entire view point change. 

Realistically, she was just like the rest of them, her life being cut short and now she was being given an opportunity. The same opportunity he had been given, even if she was being given the choice when he had not. Either way, it was not his place to judge her and he knew his attitude had to change. She didn’t deserve his hatred. In fact, she didn’t deserve any of this, but this was the life she had been given. “You’re pretty good all things considered.” He admitted, the corners of his lips curling slightly upwards, finally deciding to show her as much kindness as he could will himself to, still, despite everything, finding the gesture difficult.

Jasper watched from the doorway, happy to see that his brother had finally decided to be kind to his now girlfriend, even if calling her that still seemed like an odd thing to do. Almost too human of thing to do. Camila scoffed. “Not nearly as good as you.” She said, dismissively waving her hand as she rolled her eyes at him.

Edward laughed lightly. “I’ve had decades to practice. I’d say that’s a pretty unfair advantage.” He stated mater of factly. Camila laughed as well, happy to see that the immortal teen was finally warming up to her. Maybe living for eternity with this family wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe they wouldn’t end up hating her guts like she feared so greatly. 

Camila let loose a slow breath as her fingers stilled on the keys, attempting to keep the release steady as the pain that ached through her bones seemed to thrum along. Her eyes fluttered shut briefly, trying to get her heart rate to slow back to a steady beat as her head begun the throb. Edward’s concerned voice rung through her ears. “Do you need some water? Would that help?” He asked, his voice seeming miles away as the pulsing pain in her temples increased by the second. 

Camila couldn’t help but feel frustrated with herself, something so simple being able set her off. The concentration needed for playing sending pulses of pain through her temples. The frustration didn’t stop as Jasper rushed to her side, laying a comforting hand on the small of her back as he leaned down, eyebrows furrowed together in visible concern. The pain seemed to slice right through her skull, growing more and more intense by the second as pressure begun to build in her nose. 

Almost in slow motion, the uncomfortable feeling of her nose running started and she watched as a crimson drop fell ever so slowly onto the pristine keys of the piano, splattering over the pale surface. Her hand shot to her nostrils, attempting to stop the mess from getting even worse, but her efforts were useless. The floodgates had opened and blood was steadily pooling down onto the piano and her cream colored shirt. 

Out of instinct, the two vampires held their breath, sure that disaster was just around the corner. Slowly, the realization hit that everything was okay and the bloody nose wasn’t going to cause a complete bloodbath. The realization that her blood really didn’t effect them like everyone else’s hit Jasper, and selfishly, for a moment he was thankful for the cancer that had changed the chemistry of her blood. 

Still, panic filled Jaspers eyes as he took in the scene of Camila covered in her own blood like an image taken straight out of his own nightmares if he could still have them. “Carlisle!” He yelled out, the stress and unease clear in his voice as his hand came up to her nose to pinch the bridge in attempt to stop the sudden uncontrollable flow. 

Edward’s eyes flickered between the two, frustration clear on his face as he stared at the bloody mess. He turned, rushing away in a blur, obviously disturbed by the whole ordeal, but Jasper couldn’t care less. All that mattered was Camila and her safety. Edward’s emotional distress would have to be something for him to deal with alone. 

The man flitted into the room in a flash, immediately going into doctor mode as he saw the scene in front of him. “Jasper, keep the pressure there. Camila, we’re going to take you to my office to see what we can do to stop the bleeding quickly, okay?” He said gently, motioning for Jasper to carry her further into the home. 

In a blink of a moment, there they were, in one of the rooms she had yet to see, but was just as immaculate as the rest of the home. “I’m so sorry.” Camila apologized as Jasper sat her down on the examination table.

“Nonsense, there’s no need to apologize.” Carlisle assured her, brushing off Jasper’s touch on her nose and replacing it with his own. “Jasper, go help your mother clean up, would you?” He asked, looking pointedly in the direction that they had just come from. Jasper knew better than to argue with the man, no matter how much he wanted to in the moment.

It pained him to leave her side, especially seeing her in the condition that she was in. Emotional torment swirled in his head as the realization hit that this had to be a normal thing for her and was nothing compared to what was yet to come. So, he greeted the opportunity of distraction with open arms, rounding the corner and seeing that Esme was already there, wiping up the splatters of blood with a damp rag. 

Her eyes flickered up to his own, not needing to have powers like his own to see the emotional destress. “Oh, Jasper.” She said, sympathy coating her voice. 

Jasper shook his head, refusing to be the weak one when Camila needed someone strong to depend on. After all, nosebleeds were normal right? Despite trying to reason with himself, he knew better. He knew that the amount of blood covering the piano and the floor underneath was not a normal amount. He knew that it would mean something serious for anyone that didn’t already know something was wrong. “I’m fine.” He muttered, grabbing another rag and helping clean crimson covered wooden planks.

Hearing the stubbornness in his voice, Esme knew that pushing the subject anymore was useless, so she decided to move onto something else. “I like her already, you know.” She said, a sly smile growing on her face. 

Jasper couldn’t help the lift of the corner of his lips as he though of her. “I like her too… obviously.” He joked, trying force the spiraling thoughts of losing her from his mind. The pressure of her illness had never been so prevalent in his mind and he couldn’t stop thinking of the choice that she would have to make, the very real possibility that she would say no and soon leave him forever. 

Esme’s heart ached at the sight of her son’s torment. She scrambled, hoping to find the right words to comfort him. “Everything will work out in the end.” She said softly. 

His head hung at her words, biting his lip as he forced his eyes to stay on soiled rag in his grip. “Please, Esme. I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but you don’t know what she’ll decide. I refuse to make that decision for her or pressure her in any way.” He said, jaw clenched tight. 

The idea had been prevalent on his mind since Alice had told him of her vision of the future, but never had it seemed so close and so damn daunting. He knew it was right around the corner, and the nose bleed hadn’t even been something major, but for some reason, it made everything seem so much more real. So reel that it terrified him more than ever. At every corner he reminded himself that this whole thing could come to an end soon, but that didn’t stop him from growing closer and closer to her by the day. Throwing caution to the wind as he excepted his feelings for her and gave into his own heart’s wants.

Esme sighed, dropping her rag on the floorboards, bringing her palm to lay on his shoulder. “You have to have hope, Jasper.” She said, rubbing her thumb across his shoulder. A deep frown settled on her face as she took in his stone cold expression. “I’ll let you finish up here.” She said lowly, deciding it would be best to leave him to himself. 

——————

The throb behind Camila’s brow persisted as she sat on Carlisle’s exam table. His firm but gentle touch finally dropped from her nose as the bleeding subsided. She looked down, horrified to see her ruined outfit. She wasn’t sure how easy it would be to clean the blood from the cream colored shirt, but had a feeling that her mother would notice her change of clothing either way. 

The dread only increased when her mind wandered to what the scene she had left behind must have been like. Of course, it was just her luck. Her first time meeting the mother of her boyfriend, and she had left a huge mess in her wake. She couldn’t help but be embarrassed, and just when she was beginning to get along with Edward of course.

“Are you feeling okay? Faint at all?” Carlisle asked, pulling her from her thoughts. 

She blinked rapidly, forcing her eyes up from the blood-soaked cotton. “I’m fine.” She muttered lowly, not bothering to speak up, knowing that he would be able to hear her either way. “I haven’t had this happen for a while.” She admitted, thinking back to the stained carpet she had left behind in her last home.

Carlisle sighed, turning as he grabbed a few different things, too quick for her to see before handing the small baggy over to her. “Nosebleeds are very common with your shortage of platelets, frankly I’m surprised they haven’t been happening more often.” He said, giving a soft pat to her knee. “Either way, if you do happen to experience a more severe episode again, there should be everything you need right there.” He said, gesturing to the baggy.

“I’m sure you know all of the steps, but I’ll go ahead and remind you. You’ll want to make sure that you’re seated leaning forward, breath through your mouth and pinch just above your nostrils for ten to fifteen minutes and if it hasn’t stopped by then, come see me. I did pack some gauze in that bag just incase you have a more severe episode again, so Jasper can insert it for you until he can get you to me.” He explained, giving her a reassuring smile.

His smile drooped slightly as he continued. “I’m sure you’re already aware, but these type of things will become more and more frequent as the cancer progresses.” He said. Camila forced a tight smile, nodding curtly. Just another thing to worry about in school, great. 

A soft knocking sounded throughout the room, causing both pairs of eyes to flicker towards the noise. Alice stood in the doorway, smiling her usual smile as she flitted to the duo, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. “Come with me, I have a change of clothes you can barrow.” She said cheerily.

Camila snickered softly at her enthusiasm before slowly sliding off of the exam table to a stand and following her retreating figure. 

——————

The events of the day had been cut short after the brief ‘bloodbath’ that had occurred. Esme had refused to except any of Camila’s apologies, stating that there was nothing to apologize for in the first place. Camila couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about the whole ordeal, only having met her for the first time earlier that day and already making a mess of her home. It definitely hadn’t gone as planned, but as expected, Esme was just as wonderful as Jasper had described her. 

After she had returned home, she hadn’t even had to ask before Jasper was crawling back into her window, avoiding being seen by her parents, knowing that Camila would need her ‘emotional support vampire’ after the grueling events of the day. 

As she laid on his chest, fast asleep, puffs of air leaving her open lips, Jasper’s thoughts continued to race. His heart physically ached in his chest as his eyes scanned her soft features. The panic that lingered of losing her reared its’ ugly head as he clenched his jaw, trying to push the thoughts from his mind. As much as he didn’t want to give the idea the time of day, he couldn’t help it. As much he dreaded the topic, he knew that the best he could do would be to promise to love her until her last breath and it would ultimately be up to her if she would stay beyond that.

Next Chapter -coming soon

Tag List:

@jasper-the-beloved @parkchaeyoung1997 @bobaopal @izzyisstuff @itsmytimetoodream @soyeonrai @just-browsing101 @demirunner @dkbj14 @iloveramensm @imyelenasexual @bella7866 @ropickle @may-and-lay @breezybeesposts @emily-a13 @mamajaxx2511 @meyrryme @bertholdtswife @swagcopangeloop @idonotcareaboutyouropinion @honey132 @sakurayuki8655-blog @braveangel777 @illogic-ally @obsessed-with-pychopaths @natsvenom @iamveryholyiswear @too-many-fandoms-tbh @loser-syrus @madeofeverythingjuice @b-tchymoon @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @sabage101 @simon-e-mallory @augustlikesdeath @erissco @harleycao @clacefe @cassieisasimp @mentallyillpansexualtsversion-d @nlr1606 @blacklotus7070 @thisismyblogname5678 @dangerkitten1705 @bomen1807 @greeneyezsblog @jinxxangel13 @mariella-angel-unwin-black @aki-ham @averyasmr4 @midnight-dixon

#twilight #bella swan #edward cullen #eventual smut #slow burn #twilight smut #charlie swan #forks washington #jacob black #jasper hale #jasper #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale smut #jasper whitlock #esme cullen #eclipse #jasper x reader #twilight saga #la push #alice cullen #angst #jasper hale fluff #fluff #jasper hale fic #carlisle cullen #vampire #bella cullen #fic: collarbones

[nico-di-genova]

At any given moment I am thinking about the champagne scene in chapter 11 of “you and me, we got big reputations”. It changed something within me, I will never be the same.

#‘Very carefully and slowly Max pours champagne into the hollow of Charles’ throat where his collarbone meets his neck.’ #I THINK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY #it quite literally is my Roman Empire #sat at my desk thinking about champagne s*x #god it makes me insane #lestappen #fic rec

[scarletbrownies]

A Garden Across Our Collarbone by @pittdpeaches ! (My phone quality vanished again ack-)

cannot began to explain my love for this, go check out the fic pls

#lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk fic #lmk spicynoodles #go check this fic out!!! #a garden across our collarbone #🔮🕯

[introverted-tree]

I AM SO (not) NORMAL ABOUT THIS

/pos ofc

#pittedpeaches #IM EATIN THIS UP #ITS SO GOOD THAT I TEXTED EVERYONE IN MY CONTACTS ABOUT IT (like 5 people) #SO GOOD THAT IM DOING A SCHOOL ART PROJECT BASED OFF OF THE FIC #(its an inkwell) #shitpost #lego monkie kid #lmk #red son lmk #qi xiaotian #spicynoodleshipping #a garden across our collarbone #monkie kid spicynoodles

[basaltbutch]

Blaseball has been a constant background presence throughout pretty much the entirety of my adulthood life so far, and it feels weird to think the official source is gone.

I never meant to get into blaseball. At most, I figured it'd be a common interest between me and Moss (genusniebla). I picked my team entirely at random. And yet.

It kept me sane all throughout the initial lockdowns, when I didn't leave my house for an entire year. I tuned into the sim on nights I couldn't sleep, watched lore jams and liveshows and listened to podcasts about it while I gardened. Even when I started meandering into the rest of the world again, blaseball was a talisman, a comfort. The first patch on my backpack was a homemade one for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. About half the ones on my crustpunk pants were at least inspired by blaseball.

The music, most of all, has completely changed me. The Garages have been the soundtrack of my life, my number-one listened to artist, since I first discovered them. I skipped my own birthday celebration to watch the premiere of the Discipline album! There was a period of my life where I listened to solely (and I mean solely) the Garages for (at least) six months straight. I am going to continue to listen to the Garages until the day I die.

And the people!! Oh, the people. I've met so many wonderful friends and people because of this game. The community around blaseball has always been such a warm and welcoming environment (not just saying that because my team is the Hellmouth Sunbeams) and I'm truly lucky that this game has let me meet so many amazing people.

I hate to say it, but the game couldn't go on forever. It would lessen the impact of it. As far as I believe— we've won. Our teams have always won. We were always the driving force behind the cultural event of blaseball, the final bosses. It's over. No one has to play anymore.

Rest in violence, blaseball.

#it speaks #blaseball #there's so much more i could say #my love of the desert was kicked off by the love for my team. which directly influenced my gender #i have a sun tattooed on my collarbones #my hellmouth sunbeams jacket is my favorite jacket in the whole world and when it eventually gets too worn out. it'll be remade. #one of my favorite memories is of me and moss going sillymode on james' firewalker with me post and having them go ''HEY CAN I HELP YOU TWO #and god. firewalker with me. #the unstable album kept me company while i grieved the loss of my childhood pet #maybe i will finally write a fic in honor of this wonderful fandom. #um. but i didn't want to make the post too long. #god. i love you guys. i loved experiencing this cultural event with you all.

[tickle-bugs]

BUGS YOURE ALIVE!!! Could I bother you for some McKirk? Maybe some bed sharing?? For uh...mission related reasons? Accidental cuddling?? If it's not too much trouble?? Do these emojis help?? 🛏🤣🪶💘

Anything for you beloved!!!!

Suite-Hearts

Bones thinks defecting might genuinely be better than this. 

He’s not twenty anymore, the sight of his best friend shirtless doesn’t fluster him the way it used to, but it’s still…a lot, given the circumstances.

Circumstances being the honeymoon suite in one of the most notorious casinos in the galaxy, a room that couldn’t possibly be big enough for all the feelings that Bones had to fit inside of it.

The room is beautiful, granted—the entire far wall is a floor to ceiling window onto the glittering city lights below. Every inch of the place is plush in a way Bones can appreciate, even if it reminds him vaguely of a padded cell. Stocked mini bar, soundproofing--even a built in white noise stereo. The hotel had been sweet--they’d decorated the place with little hearts and champagne bottles, committed to celebrating the newly engaged couple they’d checked in as. 

But again. The circumstances. 

“Are you gonna glare at me over there all night?” Jim huffs and crosses his legs on the bed. He plays with his hair, still stringy from the shower. 

“I hate this.” Bones clenches and unclenches his fists to stave off the urge to pace. He tears down one of the paper hearts from the ceiling and crumples it instead. 

“Yes, you’ve told me. Repeatedly.” Jim sighs and leans forward, balancing his chin in his hands. “Honestly, Bones, I don’t bite. This isn’t much different than the Academy.”

“Uh-uh. We had bunks in the Academy.” 

“Bunks that we rarely slept apart in, usually. What’s up with you?” Jim drifts over, pretty eyes sloped with concern. The full brunt of the hotel’s fancy pine soap hits Bones. 

“Nothing.” Bones keeps his gaze on the floor. 

“If you hate sharing that much, I’ll try and swing a separate room for you. We can pretend we had a fight or something. I’m sorry.” Jim squeezes his bicep. Bones’s mouth sours at the apology. Jim isn’t apologizing for the room, he’s apologizing for his presence. Bones knows that tone of his and he despises it. 

“It’s fine. I’m just…not the best for these kinds of things.” Bones pinches the bridge of his nose. Guilt swirls and claws at the base of his stomach, making swipes at his throat to try and close it. 

“It’s just for a few days. You’ll never have to do another espionage mission again, scout’s honor.” Jim fumbles his way through the boy scout salute. 

“You were never a scout.” Bones huffs, but the promise soothes him some.

“Semantics.” Jim tries to crack his back a few times. “Want a drink?”

“Your back.” Bones furrows his brow. Jim makes a dismissive noise, scoping out the selection of whiskey and gin on the bar.

“Lay down.” Bones shoves Jim onto the bed with a eyeroll he doesn’t bother to hide. Jim squeaks as he hits the mattress and bounces higher than he expects—gravity’s just a little weird here and Bones can’t figure out how to work the in-room controls. 

He climbs up after Jim and settles heavily on his thighs. Jim grunts a little and Bones affectionately swats the back of his head. 

“M’fine. Really. I’ll go to the spa or something.” Jim hides his face, suspiciously shy, but Bones doesn’t press. Jim talks when he wants to.

“I’m not letting you waste money on that frilly shit. You want a free massage or not?” Bones gives his arms a fond squeeze. Jim nods, then deflates. 

“Where?” Bones reaches for the massage oil. He makes a face at the gaudy and suggestive label before pouring some into his hands. He rubs his palms together to warm it, breathing in the notes of lavender, sandalwood, and something else he can’t quite place. 

Jim makes a noncommittal noise into the mattress. Bones chuckles and smooths his hands up Jim’s back.

Massage therapy had been an optional Academy course but it had always been one that Bones enjoyed. It took a certain amount of trust in a stranger to allow them to know your body in that way. Bones wanted to be that stranger for people, he still does. 

And with Jim, well—what isn’t better with him? That’s comically, cosmically, the problem. Bones knows nearly every atom of Jim’s being, even the ones Jim hides from himself. That’s their deal. They are bonded halves, binary stars, and they care for one another. Even when they drive each other insane. 

“Pressure okay?” Bones hums, working into a stubborn knot near Jim’s shoulder. Jim moans and dissolves into the bed. 

“Quiet down. You’ll make people think we’re really getting a use out of this room.” Bones’s face grows painfully warm as Jim makes another terribly distracting noise. It dissolves into a chuckle. Bones squirrels the entire thing away into a private corner of his brain. 

“S’rry. Feels good,” Jim mumbles, pressing his face further into the mattress. Bones chuckles and continues his work. 

“Stop squirmin’,” Bones huffs, working his way up the back of Jim’s ribs. Jim wiggles around a bit but doesn’t say anything. 

“If I’m hurting you, you gotta say somethin’.” Bones leans down and murmurs, stilling his hands. Jim makes a string of noises, attempts to shake his head into the mattress, then settles on waving his hand around dismissively. 

“Whatever you say.” Bones snorts and smooths his palms over Jim’s warm, soft skin. He finds his lower back and starts over, working his way back up, then down, and up again. The rhythm of it takes them both.

“Doin’ ok?” Bones hums, leveraging his elbow into Jim’s lower back. 

“I’m in love with you,” Jim sighs, then groans, nothing more than a puddle of captain. Bones swallows the surge of emotion in his chest and concentrates on maintaining appropriate pressure of the elbow. 

“Sorry. For the next few days, I’m a taken man.” Bones skimming his fingers slowly up Jim’s back. Jim shivers and grabs fistfuls of the blankets. He traces patterns between mottled scars and freckles, a little lost. 

Jim twitches again, muffling something high-pitched into the mattress. It does, admittedly, take a minute for Bones’s brain to catch up, but once it does…

He slides his fingers ever-so-gently up Jim’s sides, over the back of his ribs, taking great care to wiggle against the ridges of his shoulderblades. Jim jumps, turning to admonish him, but Bones is back to the charade. He works his thumbs into Jim’s shoulders, then squeezes--just above the collarbone. 

“Well h-he’s a lucky guy--holy shit--”

Jim shrieks, high-pitched and frantic, and totters off into a flustered flurry of giggles. Bones has never in his life heard him make such a sound, not even when drunk. 

“What--”

“Bones--” Jim flips over and levels a threatening finger.

“--was that?” Bones smothers his laugh in his fist, but it bursts free when Jim’s face flushes adorably pink.

“You surprised me.” Jim crosses his arms and pulls a face. Bones raises an eyebrow. 

“I surprised--c’mere.” Bones starts tickling him in earnest now, nipping fingers chasing each sensitive spot he’s come to learn over the years. Jim dissolves in his hands, giggles quickly graduating to full-on laughter. 

“B-Bohohones!” Jim shoves lightly at his shoulders as he laughs, bright and bubbly. Bones uses the opportunity to slip his hands up to Jim’s collarbone again, giving another squeeze into the muscle just above. Jim flails, his knees slamming into Bones’s back--ow--and and descends promptly into a highly-entertaining octave of desperate laughter.

“How on earth are you this ticklish and alive?” Bones muses, skittering his fingers back to Jim’s stomach for something of a break. Eventually, he just pats Jim’s stomach and swings off of him. 

“I’m never letting you forget about this. Every time you’re being annoying I hope you think of my hand right here,” Bones grins, resting his hand on the spot. He tries not to read too much into the clear giddiness on Jim’s face. 

“Oh, you bastard,” Jim gasps, eyes positively sparkling. “I’m going to get you back for that.”

Yet, Jim does nothing but flop back against the bed. The extra high bounce shakes a few stray giggles loose. 

“I’m sure you will.” Bones pats Jim’s head. Jim shakes him off, grumbling under his breath. Bones snorts, squeezes Jim’s shoulder, and trods off towards the bathroom, ignoring the indignant screech behind him.

…

Bones wakes up warm, beautifully so. Jim’s arms wind around his torso and keep him close, strong and secure. Some soft and content part of him wants to lean back into it. He’ll never get tired of waking up like this. 

Bones turns slowly so he can see Jim’s face. He looks so different asleep. Younger, maybe. 

Bones allows himself another thirty minutes of drifting sleep, letting Jim’s gentle snores guide them into the late morning. The room chimes a soft tone around ten or so, warning them of their impending loss of breakfast privileges. He has half a mind to ignore it, but he doesn’t really know what they eat on this planet. Jim can be picky as hell when he puts his mind to it, and they’re both useless when they’re hangry. 

Bones starts breaking Jim’s hold, maneuvering him gently. The sleepy whining is par for the course, but the fingers worming into his sides? That’s certainly new.

“J-Jihim.” Bones clears his throat. “Let go, ya sleepy lug.”

Jim makes a soft noise and cuddles closer, decidedly not following instructions. Bones keeps tugging, but the more he pulls, the more Jim decides to tickle. Jim finds a spot on his stomach that makes Bones choke back a squeal, shaking both of them with unreleased laughter. 

“Damn pehest. Two can play at that game.” Bones huffs. He starts poking at his ribs, still gentle, as he wiggles closer to the edge of the bed. Jim smiles and starts chuckling, his hold loosening. Bones worms his torso out of the octopus grip and starts slowly untangling their legs. He gets about halfway there before Jim grabs his leg and starts reeling him back in. 

“Jim--”

Jim smirks and opens his eyes. Oh. Oh no. 

“Gotcha!” Jim cackles, pinching at Bones’s thigh with reckless abandon. Bones screeches, his voice cracking hopelessly. Jim flops on top of him and starts tickling wherever he can reach, taking extra care to revisit his stomach. 

“Y-You absolute—“

Thump. 

Bones’s back collides with the plush carpet, along with a few throw pillows. Jim catches himself at the last minute with a yelp.

“Are you okay?” Jim laughs and peers at him over the edge of the bed. He offers a hand to help Bones up. 

“I hate you.” Bones glares up at him. His lips twitch as he tries to resist the smile that’s already consumed him. He swats Jim’s offered hand away, then smacks him with a pillow for good measure. He goes to get ready for the day--someone has to be the adult here--but Jim grabs him by the waist and pulls him back into bed. 

“I love you too.” Jim gazes down at him with an unbearably goofy smile. Bones rolls his eyes, but his face is warm, so embarrassingly warm. Bones goes to get up, Jim shoves his hands under Bones’s arms, and round two sufficiently costs them any hope of breakfast. 

#my fics #star trek #ticklish!jim kirk #ticklish!bones #jim kirk #bones mccoy #mckirk #gah i missed them. forgot entirely how to write them but i still missed them #yeah i think they're just a little bit in love with each other and they don't fully realize how much. #also this was originally jim pov but just know. jim is squirmy bc tickles yes but also bc bones is on top of him and this is v intimate #did a whole yearning thing from his perspective and now i somewhat miss it #the collarbones thing happened to me ONCE and it was the most ticklish thing I’ve ever experienced to date omg