#blaseball

[blorbo-gerrymandering]

Round 2

Baseball has sponsorships, right? If not maybe Blaseball does.

Propaganda Under The Cut

Jaylen Hotdogfingers:

The greatest came-back-wrong character ever. She's the mayor of Seattle. She's was the best pitcher in the league. She was murdered by an umpire in an act of divine retribution for the fanbase's transgression. The fanbase exploited game mechanics to bring her back to life. Immediately she murdered 12 people. She died again and got revived a second time as part of a team of undead players that killed god. She's a really awful batter. She has, like, 16 songs written about her and they're all really good. I thought about her every single day for a period of six consecutive months. I love her.

I'll be real. I'm an outsider to the Blaseball fandom. I don't understand it. I think they've crowdfunded characters from fictionalized fucked-up Baseball stats and a dream. I love seeing what the fuck they're doing in their eldritch sandbox just so much.

Simon Laurent:

I love him so much! Yay! Yippie! he got what he deserved tho

have i submitted him yet? if yes here he is again. what did you do to my French man, now he has anxiety, and maybe 50 other things. i can fix him, but it would require a lot of time travel and a complete lack of trains. as i can't do that, he instead gets his very own tumblr poll submission. one vote for train man is one dollar towards the invention of the simon-specific time machine. (your other guys cant come unless they have the same name sorry) its for a good cause

imagine: youre in the trolley situation. well an oh-so-kind tumblr user decided to give everyone who submits this character a get-out-of-a-train-free ticket! use that ticket, and you're no longer responsible for the death of someone (or you are no longer fated to die)!

#poll #round 2 #blaseball #jaylen hotdogfingers #simon laurent #infinity train #simon infinity train

[blaseballbrainrot]

BLASEBLR! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT

🤏 itty bitty p macmilly 🤏

#blaseball #parker macmillan #made with the pico-8 palette #i am NOT a pixel artist hngfhgh but i like to give it a whirl from time to time #and i think this is the first time ive really done lineless? #i dunno its been a while #caps #gif #fun fact the original canvas is 32x32. little 🤏

[orbleglorb]

blaseball in the tumblr universe, part 3

🦆 peripheral-duck

i vant fucking fo this anymore i need to peave thr hellmputh. i hate moab i hate this state i need OUT i can't keep doijg this. im moving 6o fucking tennessee

🦆 peripheral-duck

thank you to everyone asking if i am okay. i woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night to see a lost soul from the hellmouth looking in my window.

#im not moving to tennessee #that was just the only place without a blaseball team i could think of #vent

21 notes

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

for the last time. i am not the real jessica telephone! this is just a funny name!!! please stop asking me about layna i do not know her!!!

#blaseball #and tbh some of y'all are weird about celebrity relationships! #i feel so bad for the real jessphone omg #you guys need to learn what boundaries are #blaseball players are still real fucking people and no one should have to tell you this

435 notes

🦆 peripheral-duck 🔁

📖 book-terrarium Follow

📖 book-terrarium

The most recent BLASEBALL election. Not federal election. Sorry lmaooo

2,012 notes

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Sometimes i remember blaseball first started when Ronald Reagan was president and it all makes sense for about ten seconds.

⚾️ blaseball

oh fr?

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

???? Yes????

🕑 mrclockman Follow

and it restarted when trump was president and the majority of players are queer. anyone who says that's just a coincidence is willingly being dense. blaseball is so obviously a right wing psyop to eliminate the undesirables

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Now I'm not sure about all that.

9,829 notes

#blaseball #fake tumblr #fake tumblr dash

[chuutoro]

gotta love baseball

#baseball #mlb #los angeles angels #pittsburgh pirates #blaseball #reddit #meme #funny

[astridhobbit]

PEANUT BE AFRAID

I DID IT I FVKING DID IT I HAVE HAD THIS IDEA FOREVER AND I DID IT

Seraphim pattern by Crafty Intentions, peanut pattern by Hooking Cute Creations, pattern crimes (many) by me.

And it GLOWS.

PEANUTIEL DUFFY NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD

#crochet #blaseball #Peanutiel Duffy #Chicago firefighters #New York millennials #shelled one’s pods #fanart #pattern crimes #so many pattern crimes #amigurumi #weird art #hades tigers

[flamebunnyy]

Extra Innings.

#blaseball #gia holbrook #cot3 #cote loveless #monitor head #midnight sketches

[ducktapeal]

#blaseball

[noodlebox-bird]

📞 Ring Ring~

#jessica telephone #blaseball #noodle doodle #my partner made this jess design n i was absolutely fucking obsessed with her ❤️❤️❤️ #my partner also rudely pointed out that i was probably obsessed with her because of all the biases Lavi DGM has instilled in me #i have a type and it's that pathetic man's fault!!!

[mraskilaasan]

pretty cool eclipse. guy in umpire getup who burnt my white ass to a crisp was not as cool

#blaseball

[theswampghost]

i think the thing about blaseball that like. gets me. is that it was so brief. and so alive and active and changing—what i mean is that it was a cultural event you had to participate in, and now that it’s over, that’s it. it’s not like a tv show where new people can go back and watch it all and become fans. there’s no record, there’s no replay, there’s no archive other than a little wiki. the thing about blaseball that gets me is that it was and now it’s over and who will remember it? how do you explain the weird, wonderful, connecting experience that was blaseball? all we have left is the echoes of fan content for a piece of media that has essentially vanished from existence. so much culture, so many connections, lost, lost.

#chants and team mottos and lore docs and it’s all just echoes!! just remnants that will fade into nothing over time!! fuck!!!!!!! #lu.txt #blaseball

[blazeball]

kind of fucked up that i'm going to be forever hung up on a fantasy baseball sim that had 6ish total months of active canon play over the course of three years before exploding forever. isn't it

#and yet i persevere #blaseball #quincy.txt

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @ducktapeal

see im not a blaseball person but google images says chorby looks like this

text: Chorby short, Chorby strong

#calligraphy #shitpost #blaseball

[orbleglorb]

blaseball in the tumblr universe, part 4

(part 3 might be needed for context)

[ID 1: divider to show that there is a new post]

[ID 2: divider to show that a new reblog has been added to a post /end IDs]

anonymous asked:

so what exactly did you think was going to happen when you made your tumblr username Official Jessica Telephone?

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

idk man i thought maybe before sending an ask, which you have to click on my profile to do, people would see my header that says "not jessica telephone" in all caps. maybe they'd even read my bio that says i'm a 17 year old transmasc named michael living in the uk.

#telephone calls #please please please it is not that hard.

620 notes

🦞 marketplace-shellfish 🔁

👛 antique-handbags Follow

Working in ILB offices is so fun. Why did my boss just ask me who Donald Trump is.

👛 antique-handbags

Wrong blog but too late to delete now :P

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Wait. So Parker IIIII knows who Ronald Reagan is, but not Donald Trump?

👛 antique-handbags

The Game Band (and me and some others, but mostly TGB) give Commish school lessons on off hours. They've only made it to around the 80s or 90s in history in the eleven-ish years he's been around. I usually do English and Math with him so IDK what's going on there.

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Amazing. What the fuck

#I hope that's not supposed to be confidential #Would rather not get fired #<- Prev honestly I don't think anyone but maybe your coworkers could figure out who you are? #You're pretty good at not sharing personal details outside of this post #Or maybe I've missed a couple of posts idk

9,821 notes

anonymous asked:

You're one to get up on a soapbox about respecting celebrities. You literally named yourself after Mike Townsend.

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

i literally named myself after michael the distortion tma

#telephone calls #hitting my head against the wall #also i hate being called mike. lmao #canceling my parents for naming my sister after my grandmother

499 notes

🐶 catgirlfirefighter 🔁

🌼 buildmeupbuttercup Follow

🐶 catgirlfirefighter

what if this was my last straw

21,573 notes

☕️ eyesinthedark11

im sorry but the reader is so funny to me. giant eyeball that comes outta nowhere and says "your team is gonna suck absolute shit this season. here's a card and a riddle. fuck you" and then the coin is so clearly trying to get this guy away from blaseball but it doesn't care. comes every earlsiesta and is like "your team has a chance of sucking so bad it hurts. over under under over" and then LEAVES. do we think the coin and the reader are divorced

#i am NOT maintagging this shit

13 notes

#i did not check math at all so if the reader would have appeared later than 11 years after pvrker came around pls ignore that #blaseball #fake tumblr #fake tumblr dash #i have several more of these in my drafts

[blorbo-gerrymandering]

Round 1

Note: before voting for the first option please leave a detailed explanation of what Blaseball even is in the notes, cause I have no idea. Also votes for the first option count for Jaylen Hotdogfingers

Propaganda Under The Cut

Jaylen Hotdogfingers:

The greatest came-back-wrong character ever. She's the mayor of Seattle. She's was the best pitcher in the league. She was murdered by an umpire in an act of divine retribution for the fanbase's transgression. The fanbase exploited game mechanics to bring her back to life. Immediately she murdered 12 people. She died again and got revived a second time as part of a team of undead players that killed god. She's a really awful batter. She has, like, 16 songs written about her and they're all really good. I thought about her every single day for a period of six consecutive months. I love her.

I'll be real. I'm an outsider to the Blaseball fandom. I don't understand it. I think they've crowdfunded characters from fictionalized fucked-up Baseball stats and a dream. I love seeing what the fuck they're doing in their eldritch sandbox just so much.

Bruce Wayne (Batman):

he's babygirl your honour! single father of 6 (ish), world's least likable manwhore, he's obsessive and mean and cares a lot and is an asshole

he’s a whore. he’s batman. he’s terrified of bats. he’ll fuck villains he’ll fuck heroes he’ll fuck any consenting adult. he’s a dad. he’s traumatised. he beats the shit out of people. he can do anything with enough prep time. he creeps people out on purpose. he lives and dies by the bit. he is everything to me. truly the character of all time

#poll #round 1 #jaylen hotdogfingers #blaseball #batman #bruce wayne #also yes i know this technically doesn't count as gerrymandering but its a similar flavor of messing with democracy

[natbplease]

if the eclipse was happening last year i would have so many thoughts about postcanon players living their normal (“normal”) lives trying to carve out a place in the world after only playing blaseball for literal decades. after a while you finally found a sense of security but the game never actually leaves you and every once in a while there’s something that shoves you right back onto the field. so it’s a random afternoon in april and people are talking about a total solar eclipse like it’s a rare scientific phenomenon and not something that killed a dozen of your friends twenty years ago. and nobody else knows that because nobody else remembers so you’re trying very hard to be fine with it and pretend like it’s a cool novelty like all of your new friends and new coworkers are. but then you meet the eyes of someone who Remembers, who was around for as long as you were (one of the only ones still left), and you know that they’re feeling the same bone-deep terror that you are.

but since it’s 2024 i’m very normal about everything and i’m not even think about this at all. 👍

#i’ve thought about non game eclipses in the context of blaseball SO much you have no idea #blaseball #ignore the pov shift i do not see it amen #eclipses being both common enough to not be cool anymore and also distinctly dangerous. completely dissonant from how they’re usually seen #…….Augh

[weirdmageddon]

#blaseball