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margowritesthings · 10 months

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THE MEANING OF THE SCAR

a RDR2 x Black Badge crossover

pairing: N/A for this chapter, will eventually be Arthur Morgan x reader word count: 2650 words warnings: spoilers for RDR2 ending, violence, Micah Bell, explicit language, major character death and subsequent resurrection, brief mentions of domestic violence YOU DONT NEED TO HAVE READ THE BLACK BADGE TO UNDERSTAND THIS SERIES, EVERYTHING IS EXPLAINED DURING THE STORY authors note: What's that, you say? You want a RDR x Black Badge crossover?? No??? WELL IM DOIN IT ANYWAY

The series that no one asked for tbh. If you haven't heard of the Black Badge, it's a wonderful series of books by Rhett C Bruno and Jamie Castle, where the audiobooks are narrated by Roger Clarke. This series puts Arthur in the shoes of the protagonist, who is doomed to hunt the supernatural to pay off his karmic debts. The prologue explains it a little better, so sit back and enjoy! There will be romance, there will be monsters, what more could you ask for?

BLACK BADGE ORIGNAL SERIES

PROLOGUE

I have seen so many incredible things.

Living on the land for as long as I have, you tend to. I’ve camped under the most breathtaking sunrises, that big orange orb scattering unimaginable colours over our poor souls as it creeps over the horizon. I've seen nature at its finest: baby deer learning to walk, wolves running together in tight packs not unlike us outlaws, even saw a little chick hatching once. Beautiful women from all around batting their long lashes at me, not even all of them because I was a prospective customer. I’ve been a lucky man, to have experienced so many sights.

Never did I think that the last thing I saw living on this Earth would be Micah Bell’s goddamn ugly mug.

The barrel of his gun was shaking in his tight grip, and I used the absolute last of my strength to keep my head up and look right down it.

“You’re not better than me, Morgan.”

Never claimed to be, but if I had more time, I might have argued it, the rat. But that was the thing… I didn’t have more time. I could tell, the simple act of breathing was becoming just too much. I might have gotten a few more days, if Micah hadn’t just knocked the seven bells of shit out of me and the last few days had been a little calmer, but such is life. Such is death, I should say.

After a wheezed cough was pushed out of me, I still managed to get one last jab in, as laboured and choked out as it was,

“Whatever you say, you fool.”

Everything hurt, and I could hear the clock ticking my final seconds out as Micah’s finger trembled on the trigger. He was mad, I could see the fury spreading across his face as he registered what I was choosing to do with my final words.

Maybe it was supposed to be the time for prayers, the time to have my life flash before my eyes while I count my regrets and mourn the things that will never happen, but there’d been enough of that ever since that doc told me my days were numbered. I hadn’t lived a good life, I wasn’t a good man, but I got some peace knowing my final hours were spent getting Marston and his family out safe, making sure Milton didn’t, and insulting the gang’s little pet rodent. If I had any regrets in that moment, they would only be that I didn’t manage any more permanent damage to Micah’s ugly ass mug before he got me. Actually, I might’ve wanted to die at dawn, to see one last sunrise, but mostly the Micah thing.

“Damn you…” he spat, the glow of the moon casting the most horrendous shadows from his twisted expression.

“Damn us both!”

And that was it.

A shot,

and it was all over.

No sunrise, no grand redemption in the last few minutes of my damned life…

Just me, the moon, and goddamned Micah Bell.

═══════☆═══════

I never expected I’d get into Heaven, but I never thought it’d be so goddamn dark down here in Hell.

I stirred as if waking up from a fitful sleep filled with nightmares involving Micah shooting me in the face, and even though my eyelids flew open, there was no light to speak of. There was a crushing weight on my chest, and a burning behind my right eye. What felt like dirt fell into my face with each little movement, and suddenly it all fit together, forming a terrifying reality of my predicament.

It wasn’t a dream. Micah fuckin’ Bell had shot me. Tuberculosis ran ragged through my veins and filled my lungs, I’d been captured, hung in an O’Driscoll camp and tortured for information, hell, I’d been shipped off to goddamn Guarma with nothing but the shirt of my back… and in the end the sorry sight to end my story was a rat with a revolver.

The dirt fell in my eyes relentlessly, so much so I had to close them again. It wasn’t like they were being much use anyway, what with me being buried alive and all. Moving my limbs was hard, but not impossible, I found, giving me hope that I wasn’t too far down in the ground. I never thought I’d hope for a shallow grave, but then again I couldn’t have predicted waking up in one either. None of it made much sense, but I reckoned it’d probably be best if I got back out into open air before figuring out why I couldn’t feel my toes, why breathing felt so strange and unnecessary, or how I’d survived a gunshot to the head.

I started with small movements, flexing my numbed fingers in and out until there was enough room to ball them into fists. I would have shouted for help, if I could, but I knew all I’ll get from it is a mouthful of dirt. I’d have to do this alone, it would seem.

The movement spread from fists to arms, the dirt starting to mould around me until it didn’t feel so crushing anymore, and I was soon clawing upwards. I dared to squint one eye open, finding small holes of light poked through the blanket of nothingness like stars. I felt triumphant when I reached upwards into open air, but it was short lived when I failed to feel the wind or the breeze or the sun or anything to let me know this wasn’t all some death dream.

I pressed on, scraping at the skies until big patches of the Earth fell apart around my body and I could pull myself out of my grave. The sun beat so brightly that I couldn’t help but continue to squint, trying to make out my surroundings. It was dawn, ironically. I always assumed Hell’s skies would hold a lot more fire in them, but the blue hues and yellow rays were anything but hellish. They were beautiful, a sight I was sure I’d never see again.

After my eyes adjusted, I made out the tombstone standing above my grave, a handcrafted wooden cross with my name scratched into the centre. Folk aren’t usually lucky enough (or unlucky enough, I hadn’t yet decided) to see their own graves, and yet here I was. Why? Was this truly Hell, looking over the sunrise while I was damned to sit by my own grave and wait for no-one to mourn me?

‘Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, For They Will Be Comforted’

It was my epitaph, carved into the circle surrounding my name. I hoped it was true. I didn’t know how long I’d been buried, but I didn’t want anyone sitting around crying over me. I hoped I’d done enough, in those last few hours, and that the ones I loved, whoever was left of them, anyway, made it out okay.

I pushed myself up out of the grave, dusting off the mud that clung to me and standing straight despite the complaints of my aching back. I looked over the hill, over what looked an awful lot like Ambarino.

“Beautiful, ain’t it? I tell you, that friend of yours picked a good spot. Shame you’ll get no rest here.”

I froze, my spine straightening on instinct as the voice behind me confirmed that I was in fact in Hell. Even after looking Death in the face and calling him a fool, it still took me a moment to turn and face my father.

I expected anger to course through my veins, for my fists to ball and fury to burn over my skin the first time I saw him after all these years, but it didn’t. I looked my Daddy straight in his cold, dead eyes, and nodded to him. He did the same.

“Pa?”

“Fraid so.”

I was almost too dumbfounded to realise what he was sitting on. Who he was sitting on, I should say. Boadicea stood as tall and as beautiful as that last day we spent together in Blackwater. The sight could have taken my breath away, if I had any.

I wanted to step closer, to pat my girl on the neck and feel to make sure she was really there, but I wasn’t ready to move just yet.

“What… What the hells goin’ on?”

Daddy dearest chuckled, probably at my ironic choice of wording, and Boadicea stomped a foot on the ground. Despite everything, all I wanted to do was to get Lyle Morgan off my horse, but there’d be time for it.

“You’re dead, son. Nasty shot to the head, though you put up a good fight.” He said it like he was recounting the most mundane story ever told, not breaking the news that his only son had died. I considered his words, finding a strange peace with them all.

“...This Hell?” It had to be, right? There’s no other way he could be here, not with the way he treated me and Ma. I dreaded to think what Boadicea could have done to deserve an afterlife with him, but it made more sense than both of us fools being let into the pearly gates upstairs everyone always goes on about.

Pa chuckled again, clearly finding my demise much more casual news than I, “To some, but not in the way you’re thinkin’ of it. I’ve got some bad news, boy.”

“Worse than my death?” It was annoying me, how elusive and blasé he was being about everything, dragging this out for longer than he needed while holding the cards right up close to his chest. He knew what was going on, and yet there he was, sitting on Boadicea like he owned whatever goddamn realm we were in. Surely this was Hell, having this conversation with the man who beat me into who I am today. Who I was, before karma caught up with me and shot me in the face.

“Depends on how much you were lookin’ forward to it.”

My teeth ground together as the frustration at his evasiveness built. He must’ve sensed it, as he dismounted Boadicea and patted her on the neck. It threw me more than it should, watching the man I’d left long behind me interacting with my beloved Boa.

He stood just as tall as the day I watched him hang, the only difference being a nasty scar that wound around his neck and made me dread to think what I might look like. It was like looking at a ghost. Well, I guess I was looking at a ghost.

“You’re still here, Arthur. On Earth. Seems you did just enough good there in the end that they didn’t know what to do with you. Too bad to make it to the upstairs, too good to burn in Hell… for now.”

“Earth? But… I’m… we’re-“

“Dead? Yeah. But you’re stuck here, doin’ their bidding.”

He was running his fingers over Boadicea’s mane, and she shook her head in response. She seemed like she wanted his hands off her as much as I did, but I had to find out what was going on first.

“Bidding? Who’s bidding? Can you just be straight with me for one damn minute-“

“Patience, boy.” He snapped, bringing out one of Boadicea’s signature annoyed huffs, “The White Throne’s bidding. You’re theirs now. You do as they say, or you end up in a far worse position than you’re in now.”

I felt like I needed to sit down, but unless I was going to climb back in that grave, there was nowhere to rest.

“I… I don’t understand.”

Lyle sighed, turning fully towards me and hooking his thumbs in his belt loops.

“The White Throne have chosen you to be a Black Badge, Arthur. You’re not alive, nor are you fully dead. You work for them until they decide they’re done with you, and then…”

“And then?”

“Well… I ain’t sure, truth be told, boy. I never got as far as you, I’m just here to pass the message on.”

None of it made any sense, and I had no idea who this White Throne was. Dad didn’t seem to have the answers, nor did he seem inclined to give them to me even if he did. It was then I noticed that my heart should be pounding out of my chest. Instead, it felt hollow, the anxiety of my situation bouncing around an empty can of nothing.

So this was really happening…

“They’ll call on you when they need you with this,” he turned, rummaging through Boadicea’s saddle bag and handing me a journal. It looked exactly like the one I gave to Marston just before I died, the one I collected my thoughts and sketches in, only when I flicked through the pages, they were all blank.

“Keep an eye on it, it’ll tell you what you need to do, who to look for, or where to go.”

“What am I, a goddamn undead bounty hunter?”

He laughed, a proper hearty laugh that would’ve made my skin crawl had I not been so occupied with the confusion of it all.

“You could say that. But you’re not just after anyone, they’ll send you off to the supernatural stuff. Vampires, werewolves, demons, that sort. You’ll get the hang of it.”

I was so stuck on the whole supernatural thing that I hardly noticed him step towards me, slapping a hand onto my shoulder. I froze, but not because my father had touched me for the first time in decades, but because I couldn’t feel a damn thing.

He must’ve seen the shock on my face, cause his brows pulled together in a pitiful look, “Ah, yeah… there’s some side effects to death, son. But I’m sure you’ll figure that one out.”

‘Side effects’ was a light way of putting it. I’d later find out that we unlucky few in the Black Badge have a fair few impediments. I can’t feel. Not the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, the touch of another, not even the burn of a good whiskey. I don’t feel pain, which can be helpful at times I guess. I can’t taste anything, either. It’s a unique punishment, to be stuck walking the earth but not really living, having no access to those simple pleasures in life like a stiff drink or the touch of a pretty lady. If I’d have known what was waiting for me at the end of all this, well… maybe I’d have made some different choices.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know.”

I glanced to my shoulder, finding Dad’s hand still there. He must’ve sensed my discomfort, removing his touch- or lack thereof- from me.

“You’ll get the hang of it, son.”

If I weren’t so preoccupied with my new lot in life (or death, I should say), now would have been the perfect time to confront the man who stood beside me. Ask him why he did what he did, get some answers for every question my teenage self tortured himself with while he wandered the streets for somewhere to stay for the night. But when I turned, he was gone, without a single trace to suggest he was ever there in the first place. Seems I’d gotten all the information out of him I was entitled to.

That left me and Boadicea, standing beside an empty grave I wasn’t sure anyone would have visited anyway.

I sighed, finally stepping towards her and patting her neck in that spot she always loved.

“Well girl, guess this is it for a while…”

I looked down to the journal in my hand, just in time to see inky black writing appear on the page as if bleeding through the realms.

‘Welcome to the Black Badge, Arthur Morgan.’

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #arthur morgan imagine #arthur morgan rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 fanfiction #red dead redepmtion 2 #black badge #roger clarke #tmots

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siouxiesiouxtryhard · 1 year

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Sweetheart - (eddie munson x reader)

Ch. Eighteen - Domesticity

summary: winter break with eddie combined with forgiveness and yet another ride home

cw: 18+ (minors dni) this is obnoxiously long, afab!reader, language, fluff, like tooth rotting fluff, mentions of sex, implied smut, a couple uses of y/n, steve apologist energy, chrissy cunningham’s mother, hinting to fat shaming, JERRY, -i think that’s all-

author’s note: everyday i get closer to posting bits and pieces of the identical steve story :) love you <3

<<Part 17 --- Part 19>>

Waking up to a quiet and empty house was something you weren’t used to. You were accustomed to blasting music and Billy’s obnoxious grunting. You smiled and turned around to snuggle into Eddie. He groaned in his sleep and unconsciously pulled you into his chest, burying his face in your hair. You grinned, squeezing his waist and tangling your legs together. You flinched and brought your foot back down to the edge of the bed when your knee accidentally brushed his bare dick.

“Mm, put it back,” Eddie grumbled, smiling softly to himself. You snickered and looked up at him, running a finger down the bridge of his nose. Eddie finally opened his eyes and grinned widely when he saw you. You brushed your fingertips all over his face, cupping his cheeks and stroking his cheekbones as you stared at him.

“What?” Eddie whispered, a confused smile on his face.

You shook your head, “I just think you’re beautiful, Eds,” you said.

Eddie’s eyes widened and he turned his head to the side to avoid looking at you and hide his scarlet red face. That was supposed to be his line! You weren’t supposed to compliment him like that!

You whined, trying to make him look at you again. “I just told you I like your face, don’t hide it from me!” You giggled. Eddie smiled and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into his arms. You huffed and turned your back to him, holding back a smile. Eddie peeked at you from under his elbow, saw your back and pouted. You were guilt tripping him…

And damn it, it was working…

Eddie bit his lip and threw his arm over your waist and shoved his face in your shoulder. You smiled, lightly dragging your nails up and down his arm. Eddie shivered but buried his face further into your hair. “You hungry yet?” You asked.

Eddie nodded, “I don’t wanna get up though,” he whined. You giggled, turning so you could see his face. Eddie smiled, kissing your forehead. You kissed along his jaw, being especially gentle on the love bites you left on him.

Eddie hummed, “Unless you wanna go again, I’d stop,” he breathed, “Okay, horny boy, breakfast sounds amazing right now,” you said, kissing his cheek.

He pouted, leaning on his elbows to watch you get dressed. You tied your hair up and tossed Eddie’s boxers to him to avoid swinging dick all over the house. He caught them and slid them on before he trailed over to stand behind you where you sat at the vanity. He hugged you around the shoulders, kissing your head with a smile. Eddie let you go and pulled on some pants, watching you put on ChapStick. He sighed in frustration, digging through his stuff for his pack of cigarettes. He ended up just bumming one off you on the premise you would both share it.

“I never did get to look at your room. We were a little… preoccupied,” Eddie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

You snorted, “Well, don’t be shy! Look around if you want. You can do whatever you want in here. You’re my boyfriend, so… Mine is yours and whatnot,” you shrugged.

You snickered as you watched him wander around your room that Billy fought you for. Your room was the only room in the upstairs area of the house, so you basically had the entire attic for yourself. Thankfully, your mom put her foot down about the sleeping arrangements and set the rule that the oldest kid gets the biggest room until they move out.

Eddie looked around your room with a smile. Posters and tapestries littered the walls, one wall basically wallpapered with posters, pictures, and cutouts of metal bands mixed with some other musicians you liked. “I see you’re a Nikki Sixx fan,” Eddie smirked, pointing to one of the many cutouts of the bassist. You smiled, “Yeah, he’s my favorite from the band. I dunno, I guess he’s hot,” you shrugged. Eddie snickered and kept looking around.

The room was so… you.

Eddie smiled widely at the shiny dark green drum set that was set up in the corner of the room in front of a guitar and bass hung up on the wall. “You play?” He asked. Your eyes widened and you pretended to busy yourself with organizing. “Uhh… kinda? I’m not very good. I just mess around here and there,” you said. Eddie smirked and eyed the guitars you basically put on display.

“Oh! Do you wanna meet Jerry?” You asked suddenly. Eddie chuckled, “Who?” You waved him over and carefully took the lid off the tank you had been standing at. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows at the log and water bowl in the tank. Eddie’s eyes widened when you grabbed the log and flipped it over to reveal a pied ball python at least two feet long and fat.

“Isn’t he pretty? He just finished shedding so he’s gonna eat later. Big mouse for you, sir,” you cooed before reaching into the log to pry the reptile out.

Eddie winced, afraid if you disturbed him too much, he would strike at you. You laughed, allowing Jerry to wrap himself around your wrist. The snake squeezed you gently and leaned up close to your face, his little tongue poking out to touch your nose.

“Relax, Eds. He’s the sweetest snake I’ve ever met. I’ve had him since he was a baby. He loves to cuddle,” you said, running your finger along the snake’s back. He really was a pretty snake.

Eddie tentatively reached a finger out to pet Jerry, almost flinching when the snake reacted by slithering further up your arm. “You wanna hold him?” You asked, offering the snake to him. Eddie stuttered out an “okay..” carefully taking Jerry and handling him like glass. “He won’t break, babe. You can play with him,” you laughed, walking away to turn on the closet light.

Eddie laughed, holding Jerry up to look into his beady little eyes. He was truly the cutest little snake he’d ever seen. “Hi Jerry!” Eddie said softly.

You smiled to yourself, making up your bed since you were actually trying to keep your room clean this time. “Alright! We have the whole house to ourselves so, what do you wanna do?” You asked.

Eddie shrugged, setting Jerry back in the tank. Jerry slithered into the red light of the heat lamp, curling up in a little ball to have a nap.

“Speaking of that… I was wondering…” Eddie started, “How come I’m only able to come over here when no one else is home?” He asked. You frowned. Were you about to have a fight? God, you hope not. “Well, I never said you weren’t able to come over. I just didn’t think you should because my family was going to be here,” you shrugged, “Well, do you not want me to meet them or something?” Eddie replied.

You shook your head while Eddie slowly prepared his sneaky defensive stance. He trusted you, but the nagging voice in his brain told him that even you didn’t want to show him off and you’re just like everyone else.

“No, I just didn’t think you would want to come over. My family is… overwhelming, and I didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t act like yourself at my house because they would look at you funny like they look at me,” you sighed with a sad shrug.

Eddie dropped his arms and looked at you. Everyone else he’d ever been with (which wasn’t a lot) always hid him like they were embarrassed of him. He figured you were doing the same.

Now he felt bad…

“I want you to feel as at home here as you do at the trailer. And my family would mess that up… I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, you know?” You smiled innocently.

Eddie finally crossed the small space between you, got down on his knees, and hugged you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling softly as you nudged your face in his curls. “You’re amazing,” Eddie said with the most lovesick smile on his face.

You snorted, “Why?”

“Because! You’re sitting there looking out for me and here I thought you were embarrassed of me,” Eddie shrugged, pouting a little. You awed at him and cupped his cheeks, kissing his nose. “I would never be embarrassed of you, darling. I’m sorry you felt like that,” you said, smiling gently at him.

Eddie grinned and stood up before he picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder. You shrieked, kicking your feet as he carried you down into the kitchen. Eddie finally sat you on the counter, shielding your head form hitting the cabinet and laughing when you hit his shoulder with fake anger. He kissed the pout away from your lips and put four waffles into the toaster. You fumbled with Eddie’s fingers, wishing he would sleep with his rings on so you could twist them around.

“Oh! Baby, I almost forgot to tell you. So, Steve is throwing a Christmas party at his house, and he invited me to come. He said I could bring you if I wanted to… and I wanna, so do you want to come with me?” You asked, kicking your feet. Eddie hummed, spreading peanut butter on your waffles. He was very, very weary of Steve. He’s heard all about how nice he is and how he’s supposedly this super great guy now but he’s suspicious. Steve was one of the first people who started up all the freak stuff about Eddie. So, forgive him for not wanting to hang around one of his childhood bullies.

“Ehh, I don’t know, sweetheart. You have fun, but I don’t know if me and Harrington will get along,” Eddie said.

You tilted your head with a frown, quietly thanking him when he gave you the plate with your waffles. “Why not?” You asked. Eddie shrugged, “Well, I mean, Harrington kinda started the whole “freak” thing,” he said, “And, like, it’s whatever now, and I’ve embraced it and I think it’s pretty funny… but I don’t know if I wanna hang out with the guy, y’know?” Eddie chuckled, cutting into his breakfast.

Your eyes widened and your jaw clenched so tight Eddie thought you cracked a tooth. You shook your head with a sigh, “H-he did all that?” You mumbled, “I thought he was cool… He’s supposed to be my best friend,” you said sadly.

Eddie leaned against the counter, starting to feel like a shitty guy. He didn’t want to make you feel like you couldn’t be friends with Steve because Eddie couldn’t let something go. “Well…” Eddie relented, “He’s obviously changed a lot if you’re close with him. He hasn’t said any of that stuff for a long time, but I thought he was just bored with me. Look, I’ll go to his party. If he’s as nice as you say he’s been then I’ll give him a shot. Don’t go cutting him off or anything because he was immature in middle school, okay?” Eddie asked, tucking some hair behind your ear.

You nodded quietly, still trying to come to terms with the fact your best friend used to be a bully. Even better a bully to your boyfriend! Amazing! Loving life right now!

“Hey… where’d you go, sweetheart?” Eddie asked, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip. You shook your head, smiling up at him. Eddie grinned widely, wrapping his arms around your waist. “There’s my pretty girl!” He said, kissing the corner of your mouth.

You giggled quietly, which gave Eddie a nasty idea. He used his arms around you to his advantage and started poking at your sides with an evil grin on his face. You squeaked and laughed, begging him to stop tickling you as you sunk to the floor with him on top of you. Eddie sat up, pat his elbow, and pretended to body slam you like he saw wrestlers do.

You laughed, flipping over so you were on top and pinned his arms down. You were still giggling and trying to catch your breath. “I… can’t stand you…” you panted. Eddie smiled, leaning up like he was going to kiss you and licked a stripe up the side of your face. You stopped and gaped at him, looking offended as you wiped his spit off your cheek. Eddie laughed, his head bonking the floor as you giggled together.

You leaned down to give him an actual kiss. Eddie hummed, wiggling his wrists to try and touch you but you were holding him pretty good. “Mm- baby, you know what sounds fun?” Eddie asked.

You hummed, kissing his neck, “We should go to the record shop. There’s this new band that just came out with an album and it’s apparently so super good. So, now I have to go buy it. You wanna go?” Eddie asked. You pretended to think about it before nodding and jumping off him to help him up. “I wanted to look for some more Ozzy anyways. Max broke my Bark at the Moon,” you rolled your eyes with a smile.

Eddie pouted at you and followed you up to your room to change and get ready to go. Eddie smiled softly to himself as he watched you meticulously apply your makeup that gave him scary dog privileges.

“Can I have some eyeliner?” Eddie asked, batting his eyelashes. You snickered and nodded, grabbing a pencil liner instead of a liquid so he didn’t smear it everywhere. You smudged it on his waterline and had to hold his eye open because Eddie was far too twitchy to sit still with a pencil on his eyeball. “Sick!” He drew out, kissing your cheek and pulling you to stand. He twirled you under his arm, securing the cliché boyfriend move and locked the front door behind him.

The days that led up to Steve’s party were full of you and Eddie taking full advantage of having the Mayfield/Hargrove house to yourselves. Which included but was was not limited to screaming the lyrics to whatever song was crackling through the speakers in your room, you teaching Eddie how to make actual food instead of waffles and microwave dinners, having sex all over the house (including Billy’s room out of spite), and you started looking for a job.

You were starting to run low on the money you had left over from California, and you couldn’t just dip into your savings for stuff you didn’t need like records. Eddie insisted that he could just cover you with his dealing money, but you hated when people spent money on you and you didn’t want to be a leech, so that was a fat no.

You didn’t have to worry about that right now, you were currently worrying about the lasers Eddie was shooting into the back of Steve’s head while the boy mingled around his party.

“Eddie!” You hissed, smacking his chest. Eddie jumped and looked down at you, a soft look in his eye at meeting yours. “Stop glaring. You look constipated,” you whispered, quirking your eyebrows to settle your point. Eddie laughed, tossing his head back and Steve finally got a minute to approach you two.

You told Eddie in the car to let you do the talking because Eddie wouldn’t be able to not insult him. You wouldn’t force him to accept Steve’s apology, but you didn’t want there to be tension.

“Hey! You made it! I’m so glad you’re here, I would’ve been bored out of my fucking mind without you here,” Steve said, hugging you. You smiled a tight-lipped smile and pat his back.

“Hello, Steven,” you sneered, almost sounding like a joke.

“Oh, Steven… what did I do?” Steve asked. You sighed, “Well, Eddie told me something pretty interesting about you!” You said in fake enthusiasm. Eddie snorted, sipping his drink to hide it. “Yeah! He told me all about how you’re the reason Eddie’s known as the town freak and why he can barely set foot in a fucking antique store without the cops being called! What the fuck, Steve?! I thought you were cool, man!” You said, crossing your arms.

Steve winced, running a hand through his hair. He wasn’t Eddie’s biggest fan, but he still felt like shit for bullying and allowing other people to bully him. Steve fumbled for a reason to explain why he did what he did but couldn’t find any reason valid enough for over ten years of bullying.

“Shit… Shag, I-I don’t know what to say. It was fucked up of me and I pulled my head out of my ass too late. He’s never going to forgive me, is he?” Steve asked. You glanced at your boyfriend standing at a random coffee table with bland decorations on it. He smiled and shrugged, showing he got the message that Steve was sorry.

“I don’t know, you gotta talk to him,” you said, rocking on your feet and earning a sigh from Steve.

“H-hey, I’ll try and make it up to him. Apologize, get him a new guitar… anything! I don’t want there to be anything bad between me and him. I feel like shit, you know? Fuck, I’m sorry,” Steve breathed.

You nodded, looking at Eddie who was still distracted with tacky decorations, “I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” you said, nodding towards Eddie. Steve stuttered an ‘okay’ fixed his hair and adjusted his sweater before approaching the metalhead and tapping his shoulder.

Eddie quirked an eyebrow, looking at Steve with wide eyes. “Hi?” Eddie said slowly once he realized Steve wasn’t going to speak first. “Hey, Eddie… Look, I wanted to apologize. I was a dick to you all throughout school and I just wanna say sorry. I totally get it if you don’t care, or even if you wanted to punch me in the face,” he laughed nervously. Eddie smirked, and Steve continued. “I don’t want there to be any, like, tension or bad blood between anybody, so I figured I should say sorry. I pulled my head out of my ass too late to fix it, man. I’m sorry, Ed…” Steve finished.

He looked at his feet and sighed softly when Eddie didn’t respond. Eventually Eddie just shrugged and said, “It’s whatever, man.”

He figured he could end Steve’s suffering.

Steve looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah?” He asked, “Yeah! I mean, I was still a little pissed off at first but she’s more mad than I am about it.” Eddie motioned to you. “Thanks for apologizing though, Harrington, it means a lot. Fact that Y/n’s cool with you is good enough for me to prove you’ve changed,” Eddie said, clapping a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve chuckled and nodded, walking Eddie over to the kitchen to grab another drink. You smiled to yourself, but your grin turned sinister when Jason Carver and Chrissy Cunningham came into your view. They were just trying to make their way through the party, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“Chrissy! Yo, Chris!” You called, waving the blonde girl over. Chrissy smiled widely and bopped over to pull you into a tight hug. “Hi! I didn’t know you would be here!” Chrissy exclaimed, taking your hand.

You smiled, setting your cup on the table behind Chrissy and shrugged, “Steve invited me and I’m a slave to the best friend duty of attending his parties,” you said. Chrissy giggled squeezing your hand and happily conversing with you now that you’d befriended each other in the time Chrissy’d been tutoring you. Chrissy was a very sweet girl and you loved her.

One thing you loved about Chrissy is you got a free show of Jason Carver’s fragile masculinity. He hated that you and Chrissy were friendly with each other. Jason was so scared that you were going to turn Chrissy into a lesbian or something.

“Chrissy! C’mon, the guys are all waiting for us,” Jason said, trying very hard not to notice the fact you were holding hands.

“That’s cool, but I’m just gonna hang out with Y/n for a bit. I’ll meet up with you later, okay?” Chrissy replied, kissing Jason’s cheek. Jason sighed, whispering in Chrissy’s ear that he doesn’t trust you.

Chrissy patted his chest, lightly scolding him and saying you were friends and she was gonna hang with her friends. Jason finally gave in and walked off to hang out with his basketball buddies.

Eddie was making his way back over to you not long after, stuttering over his words when he saw you and Chrissy giggling like little girls together.

Fuck.

Middle school crush. High school girlfriend. Together. Laughing and talking.

Fuck.

He didn’t have any feelings for Chrissy anymore and he hasn’t since his sophomore year, but it was still pretty awkward for him to see her around. Especially because she was really nice to him. Then again, she was really nice to everyone.

“Hi, Eddie!” Chrissy said, waving at him.

Eddie smiled and waved, tossing his arm over your shoulder and kissing your head. He grinned into your hair before he pulled back so you could talk without him latched onto your face. You kept his arm around you as you reached up unconsciously to hold his hand while it hung there. Chrissy ended up staying with you all night. She even got to talking with Steve too! But the real kicker was when Jason came to get her and go home and Chrissy said no.

“I think I’ll just catch a ride with them. If that’s okay with you guys?” The cheerleader asked, squeezing your hand. You and Eddie just shrugged and nodded. Jason looked like he wanted to explode. He kept his cool in front of Chrissy and stomped out to his car which made you all start laughing at his tantrum.

Once eleven rolled around, you and Eddie decided to head out since Chrissy was asleep on your shoulder. Eddie carried the cheerleader out to his van and hopped into the driver’s seat while you woke her up to get her address. Eddie let you take the girl inside since he knew her parents probably wouldn’t take too kindly to Eddie Munson carrying their daughter in front of the whole neighborhood.

“Who are you?!” Mrs. Cunningham exclaimed when you walked through the front door with Chrissy leaned up on you. “Uh… hey… I’m Y/n, I’m a friend of Chrissy’s,” you stuttered.

Chrissy whined sleepily, her head dropping on your shoulder. “Is she drunk?! Christine Elizabeth Cunningham are you drunk?! You know how alcohol can affect your weight!” Chrissy’s mom yelled, moving Chrissy’s head up to look at her.

You, quickly getting the idea of why Chrissy wasn’t staying at home, grunted and started pulling her upstairs to her room. “Excuse me! Where are you going?” Chrissy’s mom shrieked, “Taking your daughter upstairs to sleep. She’s not drunk, she’s tired, man,” you said, rolling your eyes and dragging Chrissy up and into her room.

You dropped the girl on her bed in her brightly colored room. You pulled Chrissy’s shoes off, tucking her in with a sigh. “Have good dreams, Chris,” you whispered. Chrissy hummed and smiled in her sleep as she curled up in bed, cuddling a little stuffed animal to her chest. You smiled softly and clicked the light off before shuffling out of the house without Mrs. Cunningham coming out to bother her some more.

“Home?” Eddie asked, resting his hand on your thigh when he started driving. You smiled, grabbing his hand, “Home.”

taglist: @sisgotdemons @tlclick73 @deafeningmoontragedy @marjoriea13 @playfuloutcast @twosluttychains @leetaeilsnecktattoo @lil-quinnie @razzles-bottom-lip @originalstar1 @yessargeantbarnes @bebe07011 @shotgunhallelujah @uselessastheginlasagnaa @mynameismothra @niragis-right-hand-rabbit @shecagobaby @moviefreak1205 @munsonmunster @chonkzombie @sadbitchfangirl @screaming-blue-bagel @urdad-hot @kjaxm @xxaestheticboyxx @ok-boke @coffeeaddictednymph @ohmeganav

(crossed out names means i could not tag you :( i’m sorry)

love you <3

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morganofthewildfire · 1 year

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You're On Your Own, Kid

Part 3

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CW: mentions of cancer, implications of prostitution, mention of death, implications of child abuse, NSFW,

~ 11k words

it is complete 😭 this story has been quite the ride, and i would love to know what you all think; also, i'm trying to work on the formatting, i don't know why it's been so weird lately

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Now

Rowan groaned as he slowly returned to the waking world, his eyes bleary as he slowly cracked them open.

His whole body felt heavy with exhaustion, and he lifted a tired hand to rub at his face, his other unconsciously searching for the body at his side.

But he found nothing but sheets.

The thought shocked him awake, and he sat up, glancing over to find an empty bed. The cup of water and the pain medication was gone from his nightstand, and the door of his bedroom was open too. Had she -?

He stood up out of bed quickly, finding the shirt he’d abandoned at some point in the night. He didn’t normally sleep in one, so he’d stripped it off while half awake in the middle of the night. Aelin had been sleeping peacefully then.

But where was she now?

His brows were wrought together as he hurried out of his bedroom, hoping for a note or something to signal that she hadn’t just run away. Had she woken up and not known where she was? Had she not remembered last night? Had she gone back to her apartment, to that man she was so intimidated by?

His heart was racing as he hurried out into the living room, only relaxing when he saw Aelin perched on his couch, flipping through channels on the tv.

She was wearing one of his t-shirts, and was sipping on the glass of water as she watched whatever home improvement show she’d ended up on, her golden hair hanging loosely over her shoulders.

“Good morning,” she said, smiling thinly up at him. Her voice was hoarse. “I stole a shirt, I hope you don’t mind.”

Rowan just blinked, shaking his head and clearing his throat. “No,” he answered, “that’s fine.”

He kept staring at her, and eventually she just looked back at the TV, curling her feet up under her. It was so domestic, the sight of her there on his couch that it nearly sent him spiraling, imagining what could’ve been.

But he restrained himself and went to the kitchen to turn on his coffee maker. How else could he start off the day?

“Your mom called earlier, by the way,” her musical voice carried from the living room. “She didn’t leave a message.” He winced, but he couldn’t call her back right now. Not with Aelin finally relaxing in his apartment, a wish that was finally more than a figment of his imagination.

“I’ll make sure to get back to her. Do you want some coffee?” Rowan asked her over his shoulder, fiddling with the machine before reaching the box of mugs he hadn’t unpacked.

“Do you have any cream and sugar? Or am I expected to drink the shit you drink,” Aelin said, a small smile on her face and he chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

“Fair enough,” he said. “Hope you have coffee somewhere else because I do not have any of that sugary monstrosity.”

The kind she always used to drink. Or at least buy from the local coffee shop when they went there after school.

“I’ll just get some from my apartment,” Aelin replied, her gaze focused on the TV. “I don’t know how far away it is but I should probably be getting back.”

Rowan paused in the middle of pouring his own cup.

“What about -“ he started to say.

“Farran?” Aelin said wryly, relaxing back into the couch cushions. “I’ve been dealing with him long enough, he’ll get over the fact that I had one bad night.”

But despite the confident words, her voice wobbled with what sounded like fear.

Rowan clenched his jaw, finishing pouring his cup before moving to sit next to her on the couch. “How are you feeling?” He asked, instead of prying like he wanted to.

“Better,” she rasped. “Thank you, again. I don’t deserve your help.”

He narrowed his eyes at the addendum but didn’t say anything.

“I don’t usually seek out alcohol like that,” she shook her head. “But I needed the escape last night.”

“Hey,” Rowan said with a shrug. “I’m not here to judge, I was there too wasn’t I?” He sighed. “I just don’t want you to be in danger.”

Aelin seemed to be waging a battle within herself as she fought for what to say. A thousand different emotions flew across her face until she sighed, turning to look out the window into the morning sky.

“He was the man in the bar,” she nearly whispered. His heart stopped. “He helped me - start this life. And has reaped the benefits for eight years.” Rowan didn’t say anything, and didn’t move either.

“Say something,” Aelin urged, looking back at him. Her face was vulnerable.

He finally unclenched his jaw, sighing heavily. He shook his head, laughing humorlessly. “Well, I’d really like to go murder him right about now, but I won’t.” He met her nervous gaze.

“Why not?” She asked, her voice hoarse. “That’s not like you.” She smiled.

“It’s about you,” Rowan answered, sipping on his coffee. “Not me. I’m not going to go out there and fulfill my violent need for vengeance and forget your feelings. I’m here for you.”

Aelin’s lips wobbled and she looked away, trying to put those walls of hers back up.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. They sat in silence for a few minutes, the sound of the TV the only thing in the room, before - “I do need to go back though.”

She uncurled her feet and set them down on his carpet. “I have an appointment tonight.”

Rowan just nodded, smiling tightly. “Yeah,” he rasped. “If that’s what you want to do.”

Aelin didn’t answer. And didn’t look at him once as they got ready to leave.

----

Rowan decided to walk her upstairs to her apartment, wanting to make sure that no one was lingering from the night before.

They hadn’t exchanged many words on the taxi ride over there, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was peaceful, and it felt a little bit like old times.

She’d laced a hand into his on the seat in between them, and hadn’t let it go as they’d left the taxi, entering her apartment building and heading into the elevator. And hadn’t said a thing about it.

Neither did he, but as the elevator zoomed up to her floor, he squeezed her hand once. She squeezed back.

And when he chanced a glance over, a small smile was curling on her lips.

At least, until they got onto her floor and stepped out onto the landing, the sight in front of them making both of them freeze.

There…across the hallway…her door was wide open.

He could practically feel Aelin’s heart racing as they walked toward it. He couldn’t deny his was too, his palms sweating as they approached the apartment.

She reached for the door handle, pushing the door open even farther. The lock was busted open, hanging loosely and leaving her apartment free to walk in and out.

“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath as they stepped inside. It was completely trashed.

Dishes had been pulled from cabinets and smashed on the floor, cushions pulled off the couch and books thrown off the shelves. One look into her bedroom revealed her comforter ripped off and clothes thrown out of her closet. The other bedroom door was open too, the red velvet comforter and sheets torn up and her stash of lingerie all over the floor.

Her red silk robe looked like it’d been stomped on or covered in something, the once pristine material completely ruined.

But the worst…

Scrawled out in what looked like lipstick or some sort of makeup taken from her bathroom, covering the wall right over the TV, was the word SLUT.

Rowan couldn’t breathe, and he looked cautiously over to Aelin at his side. Her jaw was clenched and she sighed through her nose.

“He wasn’t very creative,” she admonished sarcastically, “like I haven’t heard that slur before.”. But then her eyes went wide. Rowan watched as she dropped his hand, hurrying toward the room where her piano was.

He hurried after her cautiously, watching from the door as she knelt on the ground, piling up her thrown journals.

“Are they okay?” He asked, and she nodded. Her hands were trembling, showing she was more disturbed by this than she wanted to admit.

“I guess he was upset I wasn’t here,” she said, her voice tight as she stood up, the journals in her hand.

“You shouldn’t stay,” Rowan said carefully, trying to sound convincing but not pushing. Aelin sniffed, nodding without a fight.

“Yeah,” she said, wiping at her eyes before looking over at him. “Can I stay with you?”

He smiled softly, nodding once. “Of course. Always.”

---

Eight Years Ago

Aelin’s hands were trembling. They were shaking so badly her phone was rattling in her hand, her body humming with nerves as she walked down the bleachers. It was dark outside, well into the evening, but summer was creeping up quickly, leaving the air sticky and humid.

It’d been a week after prom, a week after losing her virginity to the best friend that she was undoubtedly in love with, and she’d finally decided to tell him. She couldn’t keep living like this if she didn’t.

She’d debated on when and where to do it, to potentially catastrophically ruin their friendship forever, but she’d decided this would be the best time. It was the spring football game, which was just a scrimmage, but Rowan had clearly been the star of the show, with several great touchdown passes and runs, and it’d been announced that he would be the captain next year. She was so incredibly proud of him and how hard he worked.

And she wanted to tell him that, the right way. With an I Love You.

Aelin had tossed and turned the night before, but she wasn’t sleepy. In fact, she was the opposite of sleepy as she walked down the bleachers, leaving her safe haven in the top corner and entering the mob. The spring game was relatively inconsequential, but it always attracted a huge crowd, and she saw a lot of her fellow juniors throughout the pack of people.

It was loud, with unnecessary celebration, and she caught glimpses of various plans to go out and party, either downtown with fake IDs or at some various seniors' houses. Aelin, of course, wasn’t invited. But Rowan was sure to be.

She just had to catch him before he left.

Not that he’d leave without seeing her, right?

Aelin glanced around, searching for a shock of silver hair. She couldn’t see him where the other football players were emerging, greeting girlfriends and friends and parents. It was hectic, and busy, and her heart was racing with a bit of panic as she began maneuvering through the crowd.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remelle’s whole gaggle of girls, and she glanced away quickly, heading in the opposite direction. She was not in the mood to deal with them, especially after successfully avoiding all of them for the week since prom.

She’d actually missed class two days that week, holding herself up in her room to write music instead. She’d had too many emotions to spill after her night with Rowan, too much eating away at her to ignore in favor of mindless lectures. Arobynn hadn’t given a damn, and she’d just avoided him too. It’d been twenty six days since her last bruise, and she was determined to extend the record.

“Looking for Rowan?” A voice reached her ears, and Aelin turned, seeing Kaltain Rompier leaning against the fence, tilting her head at her. She was one of Remelle’s best friends, and Aelin looked at her warily but nodded. “He’s down that way,” Kaltain said, gesturing toward the fence line, going around behind the concessions building.

“Thanks,” she said after hesitating a moment, slowly turning to head that way. She didn’t trust any of them, but she really wanted to find Rowan.

She wished it was cold so she could have a jacket to hug around herself as she headed down the sidewalk, maneuvering through the crowd to get behind the concessions stand.

Her fingers tapped an idle melody as she got closer and closer, her sneakers hitting the concrete with each step.

Her heart was racing, full of nerves and anticipation as she finally rounded the corner, the words nearly bursting from her lips. But then she stopped, nearly tripping over her own feet.

She couldn’t believe her eyes.

There…was Rowan still in his football uniform, leaning against the brick wall of the concessions building, with - with Remelle leaning up against him. She watched, sharp nausea racing through her as Remelle leaned up, pressing a kiss to Rowan’s lips. Lips that Aelin had kissed just the week before.

Gods, she was going to throw up. Why her? Of all people, why her?

Aelin had known it was unlikely Rowan would care for her the same way she cared for him, she’d known that and still decided it was worth taking that risk. But now… this just proved that he really didn’t care about her at all.

He said she was his best friend, he spoke those pretty words and acted like she mattered to him. But if he did, how could he do this?

She pressed her lips tightly together to try and stop the trembling, trying not to cry at the sight in front of her.

It was only then that Remelle pulled back, turning to smirk at Aelin, who she clearly spotted down at the other end. Rowan looked then, his eyes widening as he saw her there. He opened his mouth to say something, but she didn’t give him the chance.

Instead, she ran.

Aelin turned on her heels, bolting from the entire football stadium. It was too crowded to sprint outright, but she walked as quickly as possible, wiping at the tears falling down her cheeks.

“Aelin!” She heard Rowan call after her, and she sped up, fighting to get away from him. Footsteps pounded against the concrete, and she knew he was chasing after her.

She didn’t stop and let him catch up, instead running out toward the parking lot and down toward the street. But by the time she got there, there was a hand on her arm, tugging her to a stop.

Aelin ripped away from his grasp, turning around with wide eyes, breaths heavy. Rowan had his hands up, taking a step away from her.

“What,” she spit, wiping her face roughly. “What do you want.”

“Aelin,” he breathed lightly, and she glanced away, blinking away the tears. “You didn’t see what you thought you saw.”

She laughed drily, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, “it doesn’t matter.” He looked like he was going to argue, but thought better of it.

Because it didn’t matter. Because no matter what she’d tried to convince herself, he was never going to love her back. No one ever would. So why the fuck did it even matter who he was involved with?

He just didn’t fucking care anyway.

“I’m so done with it all,” Aelin said, shaking her head and staring off into the street. “I’m so done.”

She could practically hear Rowan stiffen. “Done with what?” He asked, his voice careful.

“I don’t want to be here,” she admitted, the distance between them feeling larger than ever. It was quieter out here than in the stadium, too quiet.

“At the game?” He asked, and she laughed once.

“Here, at home,” she shrugged, “anywhere.” The words settled in her gut with a heavy clunk, feeling somehow inevitable and yet freeing. Because it was true.

She closed her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. She could feel Rowan step closer.

“Aelin,” he said, his hand suddenly gently cupping her cheek. Aelin couldn’t stop herself from leaning into it. “I -” he hesitated, and she hated how she clung to his words, hoping for scraps of affection. “I’m sorry.”

With those words, something settled in her, and she stepped away from him, finally opening her eyes and looking up at him. His green eyes were filled with emotion, his sweaty hair plastered on his forehead.

He was so beautiful. And she knew she’d never be able to forget him, but she couldn’t stay.

“I’m leaving,” she whispered, the decision settling through her veins.

“What?” He asked warily, and she nodded.

“I’m leaving,” she repeated, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“The game?” Rowan asked carefully, like he knew the truth and didn’t want to admit it.

“Perranth,” she corrected, smiling sadly. “I’m leaving Perranth.”

“But -” he said, stepping toward her. She stepped back. “You can’t leave.” He shook his head, panic flashing across his face.

“I have to,” she said, her voice tight with unshed tears. “I can’t stay here, I need you to understand.”

“I -” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t.”

“Goodbye, Rowan,” she said lightly, ignoring his devastated face. She couldn’t keep up the nerve to do it if she looked at him. So all she did was step forward, kissing his cheek briefly, relishing in the feel of his skin under her lips.

But then she turned away, not letting him stop her as she headed toward the street.

But he didn’t even try, and that just told her that this was the right decision. That for once, she needed to do something for herself.

So she left him standing there, barely remembering the walk home. Arobynn was passed out on the couch, and she just brushed past him up the stairs, grabbing a duffel bag and throwing things in there.

All she could fit was a few outfits and some toiletries, but it was enough. And soon enough she was sneaking back downstairs and into Arobynn’s room, quietly opening his top drawer and digging out his wallet. She pulled out all of the cash in it, tucking it into her pocket and heading out of his room, tiptoeing past him and back out the front door.

She hailed a taxi easily, giving the driver her destination. Rifthold.

Then they were off, and she settled with a sigh into her seat, leaning her head against the window. Tears fell down her face as she watched Perranth sweep past her, the city she’d lived in for nearly a decade. The city she’d grown up in, the city she’d fallen in love in, the city she’d hurt in.

It was finally time to leave.

-----

Now

Aelin gathered a bag of things and then they headed back to Rowan’s apartment. Luckily it was a Saturday, so he didn’t have to go into the office.

It was strange - for the weeks leading up to his move it’d been all about work and about his mom. And now that he was actually here, it was all about Aelin.

In fact, he hadn’t spoken to his mom in a few days, which he felt nauseous about. He’d been so overwhelmed, he hadn’t been able to properly check in. He would soon.

But, no work meant he was able to stick with Aelin as they went back to his apartment. He’d urged her to just take his bedroom, not knowing how long she would need to be here, but she hasn’t responded. In fact- she’d barely spoken at all, besides refusing to report the break in to the police.

I’m a prostitute, Rowan. She’d said, breaking his heart with the finality of it. Any interaction with the police is not going to end well for me.

He hadn’t known how to reply, so he just didn’t.

Instead, he’d gone out to go pick them up some food for lunch, and they’d had a quiet afternoon in. A really quiet one.

Rowan wasn’t going to force her into any conversation, instead just enjoying her presence. And it seemed she was doing the same. In fact, later that evening, when they’d curled up on the couch next to each other, she’d even leaned her head on his shoulder. He’d frozen at first, but relaxed, and tucked his arm cautiously around her.

They had changed into her comfortable clothes, her in a tank top and sweatpants and him in a t-shirt and joggers, and it all just felt so…normal.

“Does it feel weird?” Aelin asked suddenly, turning to look up at him slightly. “After eight years?”

He looked back down at her, smiling softly. “Even after eight years, I still care for you.”

For reasons he didn’t understand, her face fell, and she looked away, even moving to sit up slightly, letting his arm fall behind her.

“Yeah,” she said quietly, with an obviously forced smile. “I bet.”

He furrowed his brows, but she didn’t add anything more, instead just reaching for something on the coffee table. She returned with the scrapbook he’d abandoned days before, and when she leaned back against the couch, the space between them felt like miles.

Rowan cleared his throat, reaching for the TV remote and flipping through random channels as he let her reminisce, or whatever she was doing, in private. His skin was prickling with discomfort, dissatisfied at the distance between them. Both physical, and now emotional.

He didn’t understand her like he used to. Or… a truth that hurt… maybe he’d never understood her at all.

How many times had she faked a smile? How many times had she lied? He thought he understood all of her struggles, and maybe he had, but did he ever really comprehend how much she was hurting?

The kind of pain she seemed to be facing now didn’t seem recent. It seemed deep. Was it just the pain of her new “career”? Or was it something - more?

Whatever it was, Rowan wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be there to make up for all of the times he wasn’t. All of the times she’d showed up at his house, a bruise on her face that she tried to cover but failed. All of the times she’d hid her tears because of some asshole at school, and he’d just brushed it aside in his search for his own popularity. Even that damned night he’d gotten high, indulging himself to escape his own troubles when really, that night was supposed to be about her.

He wanted her to be comfortable sharing her burdens with him. He wanted to be there to help her lighten the load. He wanted to be there to comfort her, to be a shoulder to cry on. He wanted her to let him…love her.

Holy shit.

He loved her.

He loved her. Of course he did. How could he not?

Rowan was sure his face was pale as death as he fought through the onslaught of emotions.

But before he could process the alarming realization, he heard a sharp gasp. Ever so slowly, he turned his head, seeing Aelin on the couch next to him, her eyes glued to the red and gold friendship bracelet in her hand. The scrapbook was flipped to the last page and abandoned on the coffee table, the little pocket hanging open in the back.

“Why do you still have this?” Aelin asked, and in his haze, his utter frozenness, he blurted out yet another deluded thing.

“My mom kept it,” Rowan said flatly, his eyes wide. Her face just tightened even more. “You don’t have yours, do you?”

Her nostrils flared, and he could feel the crackle of the raging storm of her temper as she pushed herself to a stand, heading into the kitchen and roughly grabbing the top journal on the stack she’d left on the counter earlier that day. She flipped through the pages roughly, before pulling out a familiar bracelet of green and silver.

“Yes,” she spit, “I still have it.” She shook her head. “I never got rid of it, but I see it was just a second thought to you. Just like I always was.”

Oh gods.

“Aelin…” he trailed off, his voice a whisper. “I -”

“No,” she cut off, shaking her head. Her hands were clenched around the bracelet. “You don’t get to make excuses now, Rowan. I have sat by for years, waiting for you to finally put me first.” She shook her head again. “It was football, and then it was popularity, and then it was girls, and so much other stuff, and I just got dragged along.” Her voice was so full of emotion, his heart was absolutely breaking.

But he couldn’t interrupt her now, not when she was clearly saying what she’d been holding in for years. Even if he was absolutely bursting with the need to confess.

“And I don’t blame you, I never wanted to hold you back, you didn’t deserve that. But - you were my only friend,” Aelin said weakly, her blue eyes glistening in the low kitchen light. “You were the only one who was ever there for me. But even then… you weren’t.”

“Aelin, I-” he tried again, but she cut him off.

“I stood by your side,” she continued, “I was there for you. I supported you. And you threw it back in my face by kissing the girl who terrorized me, who made my life at school hell.” She spit the last word. “But you didn’t care, because you were Mr. Popular. And I was just the little charity case you didn’t need anymore.”

“I didn’t kiss her,” Rowan said, needing to interrupt there. He shook his head aggressively. Aelin’s brows were furrowed, but her jaw was clenched, holding her ground. “I know what it looked like, and I can’t make excuses for my other behavior, but I did not kiss her. She came up to me after the game, I was looking for you. She cornered me, and I was trying to get away when she pushed me against the wall and kissed me.”

This time, his voice shook. “We were best friends, Aelin,” he continued. “You really think I would do that to you?” It hurt to think so. Even though he’d known for eight years that the sight had hurt her.

“It doesn’t matter,” Aelin said, though her voice shook, betraying the truth. It did matter. Because that was when she’d decided to leave. “It doesn’t change that you didn’t treat me like a best friend. It doesn’t change that I’ve always been on my own. It doesn’t change anyth-”

“I love you,” Rowan suddenly blurted out, the words escaping him before he could decide if it was a good idea or not. “And I’m so so sorry for not being there when you needed me, but I’m here now. And,” he sucked in a shaky breath. “I love you.”

But her face was as pale as death, her head shaking back and forth slowly like she couldn’t quite believe it.

“No,” she repeated, her voice shaky. “No.”

“No?” He pressed, taking a step closer. “No, I don’t love you?”

She backed away, and the move hurt him more than he was expecting. She looked like she’d seen a ghost.

“No,” she said one more time. “You can’t. You don’t get to.” Her lips were trembling. “Not when I’ve spent the last fifteen years of my life loving you.” She pressed a hand to her chest like she could contain the emotions. “Fifteen years of feeling like I’m not good enough, that I’m not enough for you.”

His mind had gone completely blank. He couldn’t hear. He could barely see. All of his senses had focused in on this stunningly strong woman in front of him. His best friend. The love of his life.

He understood now.

Rowan cautiously took a step forward, and this time she didn’t step back.

“I don’t know how I didn’t realize before now,” he said, his voice unsteady. A rebellious tear dripped down her cheek, her golden hair curtaining over her shoulders. “How I didn’t realize how much you meant to me, how much I loved you.”

“It can’t be true,” she whispered, another tear falling down her golden skin.

“It is,” Rowan said softly back, a tear slipping down his own face. “It is. I’m so sorry for all of the years I didn’t know.” He took another step.

“You told me our first time didn’t mean anything,” she said, tears streaming down her face now. “Do you know how much that hurt?” A sob escaped her, and Rowan fell to his knees in front of her, grabbing her hands.

“I know, and I am so sorry,” he said, his own voice thick with tears. “I think even back then I must’ve known deep down how much you meant to me. But I was too scared I’d turn out like my dad and mess it all up, so I just buried it even deeper.” He could taste the saltiness. “You deserve so much more than that, you deserve so much more than me.”

“Rowan,” she breathed, her voice tight with emotion. The hands he still held came up to cup his cheeks. “I don’t deserve you. I never have. Especially now.”

He stood up then, leaning down to press their foreheads together. Aelin’s beautiful eyes closed, more tears slipping off of her dark lashes.

“Fireheart,” he said, quietly but firmly, needing her to understand. “You are the strongest person I’ve ever known. The most caring person I’ve ever known. The most trusting, the most loving, the funniest, the warmest...” He placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “You’re beautiful, but it’s who you are that drew me to you that day on the playground. It’s who you are that kept me by your side for ten years. It’s who you are that makes me love you.”

Aelin sniffed, finally cracking open those eyes and looking up at him. Blue met green, and while everything had changed - somehow nothing had.

“You love me?” She whispered after a moment, and he lifted a hand to her cheek, brushing away fallen tears with his thumb.

“To whatever end,” he replied, the words a quiet promise in the air between them. “You love me?”

She laughed wetly, beaming up at him. “To whatever end.”

He tenderly brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, his heart bursting with both the realization of how deep his feelings went and the fact that those feelings were returned.

“Can I kiss you?” Rowan asked, and she smiled coyly up at him.

“I don’t know, can you?” She teased, and he chuckled, nudging his nose against hers before tilting his head down just that little bit more to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

Aelin sighed into it, their lips sliding slowly against each other in a whisper of a kiss. But then she nipped at his lip and he deepened it, pressing closer to her body. Her hands crept up to his shoulders and he grabbed her waist, pulling her closer.

Her hands clutched the material of his t-shirt, and he tilted his head to the side, brushing his tongue across her lower lip. She opened his mouth for him and he swept his tongue through it, getting a taste of her for the first time in eight years.

But back then, they’d both been kids, fumbling through their first time. It was different now.

He slipped a hand under her tank top, feeling the warm skin of her stomach and back as they kissed slowly, decadently.

Aelin was the first to take a step further, tugging off his shirt. His bare chest was out, but he didn’t feel self conscious, especially at the small sigh of want she let out at the right.

Rowan wasn’t modest, he worked out and he knew he looked good. But he was still a lot more exposed than he was used to.

He took the opportunity of their broken kiss to place kisses onto her neck, sucking and nibbling and breathing her in. His hands snuck farther up her tank top, thumb brushing the underside of her breast.

“Aelin,” he groaned into her neck, and her breath hitched. At that, he moved both his hands to grab her thighs, hoisting her into his arms in one easy motion. She clutched around his neck, moving her lips to claim his in a searing kiss as he carried her into his bedroom.

Rowan laid her down on his bed carefully, climbing up to cover her. He was about to return to kissing her when she hesitated. He immediately stopped too.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, brows furrowed. “We can stop if you want.”

“No I don’t, but - Rowan, I -” her cheeks were flaming scarlet, just like they’d been that first time. But for a different reason now. “I’m not whole anymore.” Her voice was nearly a whisper. “I’m not like last time, I’m… ruine-”

“Don’t even finish that,” Rowan interrupted, brushing hair off of her face. She looked so beautiful, with her hair sprawled around her on the pillow, her face and neck flushed, her eyes wide. Even if he wanted to wipe that fear away. “I don’t care about anything in your past, that changes nothing. The only thing it’s changed is me wanting to kill someone for the first time in my life,” he chuckled humorlessly, and she gnawed on her lip. “Well, the second time.” Arobynn.

He shook his head, meeting her eyes. “But that’s not the point,” he continued. “Nothing could change the way I feel about you,” he said softly. “Nothing is going to make me stop loving you, okay? Now let me show you.”

Aelin considered for a moment before nodding slowly, her lips trembling.

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” she said wryly, a hesitant and self-deprecating smile on her lips. “Think you can keep up?”

Rowan chuckled darkly, nipping at the underside of her jaw. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

To prove his point, he began kissing down her throat, down her collarbone and down her chest, before pushing up her tank top with his hands, moving down to kiss the revealed skin of her stomach. She was gasping as he laved at her stomach, his hands dragging along her hips to begin pulling down her sweatpants.

Aelin helped him, kicking them off, before opening her legs for him to lay between.

“Rowan,” she moaned as he pressed a kiss to her underwear, right over her clit, darting out his tongue to tease her through the fabric. “Stop teasing,” she complained, tugging at his hair, and he huffed a chuckle, the feeling of his breath making her toes curl in the sheets.

He obeyed her order, pulling down her underwear to devour her fully, groaning at the taste of her as he put his mouth against her. He didn’t hold back, but already right away she was ready to fall apart. Cynically, Rowan wondered if anyone had ever done this before.

Besides that first time with him, had she ever done this out of her own desire? For her own pleasure?

The thought both saddened him and made him more determined to make her feel good.

Quickly enough, she was shattering beneath his mouth, and he lapped up the taste of her before she was tugging at his hair, dragging him up to kiss her.

Rowan groaned into the kiss, tugging at his own clothes before ridding her of her tank top, massaging a breast.

“I need you,” she panted, breaking the kiss, and he reached into his nightstand quickly, pulling out a condom and getting himself ready. Soon enough, he was lining up, both of them sucking in a breath as he pushed into her heat.

He waited for a minute, until she nodded, and then he began moving. It was like last time, but it wasn’t, but it was just as overwhelming, noises escaping him that he’d normally be embarrassed about if she wasn’t making just as much noise back.

She wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling their bodies somehow even closer, and claimed his lips for a frenzied kiss as they neared that edge together. With each pull and thrust they got closer and closer to that cliff, falling into the throes of pleasure at almost the same time.

“Aelin,” he groaned into her neck as he shuddered through his climax, her body clenching around him deliciously as she broke too, moaning into the humid bedroom air.

They were both panting as they came down, and he was smiling as he pulled out gently, disposing of the condom and coming back to bed as fast as possible. He tugged Aelin into his arms, pressing a flurry of kisses to her temple.

“I love you,” he breathed into her ear, her eyes already closing. So were his, his body falling into the grasp of sleep, but not soon enough he couldn’t hear those precious words whispered back.

“I love you, too.”

-----

Eight Years Ago

She’d been drifting through the city for the few days since she’d gotten there, the taxi having dropped her off on a random street. Aelin had used the meager money she’d stolen from Arobynn, renting a cheap motel for a few nights and buying food until it ran out. She was left with a few measly dollars, but completely unmotivated to do anything to get more.

There wasn’t much she could do anyway.

She didn’t have a resume, she’d never even had a job before. Plus, she didn’t have a legal address, nor did she know how to interview for anything.

It was fine, she’d figure it out.

But for now, she was wandering.

Rifthold was dark and yet still crowded, with nearly piles of people out on the street, laughing and talking and wandering around from dimly lit building to dimly lit building. Aelin wasn’t sure what side of the city she was on, but it certainly wasn’t downtown. The buildings were big and close together, but it wasn’t full of skyscrapers full of offices, with businessmen streaming in and out.

That was for the day, this part was for the night.

It was loud, and no one noticed the seventeen year old girl slipping by, glancing around at all of the what she assumed were bars and lounges of sorts as she passed. She was a nobody here, and she craved that anonymity. She could be anyone, not a girl from a podunk town, with a guardian who hit her and a best friend who’d never spare her a second glance.

Pathetic, she was pathetic.

But she didn’t have to be.

She could be anyone, do anything, and that thought carried her as she wandered down further toward a side alley. There was a lilting piano playing, barely audible above the raucous cheers, and unconsciously she searched for the source of the noise. Aelin didn’t pay much attention to where it took her, but she vaguely recognized she was stepping foot into some sort of lounge.

Glancing around, she took it in, barely across the threshold, but she couldn’t see the piano so she hesitantly stepped further in. There was a haze of smoke around the whole room, and she had to step down a few stairs to get onto the main floor, which was filled with various low lying booths and couches, which were all filled with men smoking cigars and drinking, waitresses and women flitting about in types of outfits she’d never seen before.

It was decently noisy in there, just like it was on the street, but it was full of a different kind of chaos. Illicit chaos. And she didn’t even think she was seeing it all.

Her heart beating a little faster, she wandered over toward the side of the room, eying the piano in the back. She was extremely underdressed, with her jeans and the zip up jacket she was holding tight around herself, her dirty sneakers making marks on the sleek floor.

There was a young woman sitting at the piano, and Aelin was enchanted by the music coming from it. Aelin wanted to play, desperately; she could practically feel her fingers vibrating with the need to join in and create those lilting melodies.

But she just stood there, bathing in the scene of forbiddenness, stepping foot into a new world.

“That’s quite the outfit,” a deep voice said, and she glanced over her shoulder, seeing an older brunette man who’d sidled up to her side. He was fairly handsome, and looked rich, but there was something in his eyes that made her skin crawl.

“I just came in,” she said, shifting a bit. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

It was the truth, but maybe she shouldn’t have said it.

“How old are you?” The man asked, and maybe this time she should’ve said the truth, but she didn’t.

“Eighteen,” she lied, after a moment of hesitation. She watched him warily, but he just nodded in contemplation, his hands in his pockets.

“Want a drink?” He asked, gesturing over to the bar, and Aelin thought for a moment before nodding. She followed him as he walked over there, but didn’t hear what he’d ordered for her, and didn’t know what it was as he handed it to her. It was just amber liquid in a crystal glass, and she took a deep breath before taking a sip, coughing as it burned her throat.

“Gods,” she said, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. The man just chuckled a little bit.

“Too much?” He asked, raising a dark brow, and she almost said yes; she’d never drank before after all. But - Rowan’s face flashed in her mind, kissing that other girl, kissing Remelle. They were all right about her, she was too much of a child. She nearly spit at the thought.

She didn’t have to be.

She forced a smile on her lips, taking another sip and forcing herself not to choke on it.

“No, this is perfect.”

He smiled back at her, and she sipped at the horrid drink, feeling the heat racing through her. Aelin looked back at the piano, humming a bit to the music as the man came up to stand next to her.

“So, where are you from?” He asked, leaning into her space and nearly murmuring the words into her ear. His free hand twirled with a loose piece of her hair. “I’m assuming not from Rifthold?”

Aelin shook her head, holding the drink close to her lips. “I’m from Terrasen.”

“Ah,” he said, a bit playfully. “So that is an accent I hear.”

Her cheeks warmed and she tucked her bottom lip into her mouth, enjoying the attention of an actual grown up. It didn’t matter that he was at least fifteen years older than her, if not more. He was older than Rowan.

“Terrasen born and raised,” she said, leaning in a bit closer, looking up through her eyelashes like she knew girls did to make themselves more appealing. To look sexier.

They were so close she could feel the heat from his body, and there were weird things going on in her body too. She wasn’t sure it was arousal, more of a strange sense of determination? An urge to prove herself?

To shove it in Rowan’s face and try to erase the touch he’d left on her skin?

Maybe that was why, when he invited her back to his hotel room for some quiet, she said yes. Maybe that was why, when he sat down next to her on the couch in the suite, she didn’t lean away. And maybe that was why, when he captured her lips in a kiss, pulling off her jacket roughly, she gave in. She gave him everything.

She awoke the next morning in an unfamiliar hotel room, tucked under the white comforter with no clothes on, sore in an unfamiliar way.

Rowan had been gentle, this man had not. But she didn’t regret it.

He was nowhere to be found as she stood out of bed, pulling her clothes on efficiently, and she was grateful for it as she roughly combed out her hair. Especially as her face fell when her gaze landed on the dresser, seeing a paper with a phone number, and a stack of twenties clearly left for her.

Was that what that had been? A transaction?

It made her feel incredibly dirty, and her lips trembled as she stared at the evidence of what she’d done. But soon enough, she pushed her dignity aside and grabbed the money.

And so began her new life.

-------

Now

Rowan woke up the next morning to soft kisses. He’d fallen asleep behind Aelin, but now she’d turned around in his arms, placing fluttering kisses to his bare shoulder. A lazy smile curled on his lips, and he hummed tiredly, tightening his arms around her.

Both of them were still naked, so he could feel all of her smooth skin beneath his touch.

His eyes cracked open slightly, and all he could see was golden hair. He kissed her head, stretching out his legs like a cat and pulling her closer.

“Hi,” he rasped, and she stopped her kissing, smiling softly back at him.

“Hi,” she said, and Rowan couldn’t stop from staring at her. She looked like an angel, with her golden hair mussed around her head on the pillow like a halo, her skin glowing in the soft sunlight creeping in through the window, her blue eyes hazy from sleep but bright.

She was his angel.

“I like waking up to you,” he said, finding her hand under the sheets and lifting it to kiss gently. Aelin smiled shyly, glancing away. But she harnessed every inch of her bravado as she replied -

“Who wouldn’t?”

He chuckled, using his grip on her to roll them both so he was on his back, her head on his chest. Rowan toyed with a strand of her hair, combing his fingers through the loose strands.

“I love you,” she murmured softly, and a beam grew on his face.

“I love you, too,” he said, just as softly. One hand remained in her hair, the other caressing her lower back lightly, his thumb brushing against her spine.

They fell back into silence after that, Aelin’s eyes falling shut. She wasn’t sleeping, just taking in the moment, and he was doing the same. He never thought they’d get to this point. If someone had told him only a few weeks ago that he’d be in bed with his former best friend, waking up naked after sleeping together the night before, in love, he would’ve told them they were insane.

“Why did you take off the bracelet?” Aelin’s voice rang quietly through the still morning air. Her eyes were still closed.

Rowan’s brows furrowed, but he answered honestly. “I was hurt,” he said. “You’d left and I was young, and I didn’t know how to process my feelings so I reacted with anger. My mom saved it for me.”

“No,” Aelin said, holding herself up on her elbows on his chest, finally looking at him. Her gaze was a little stiffer, but not accusing. “Not that time. Before that.”

“When?” Rowan asked, going back through his head and trying to remember when he’d ever taken it off.

“The sleepover,” she said lightly, her eyes a little sad. “When you came home high, I was in your room and I found it on your nightstand.”

Understanding washed through him, and instead of panicking, he just let out a light chuckle. Aelin’s eyes went cold, and that made him panic, so he rushed to clarify.

“Remember that horrible rainstorm the day before?” He asked, lifting one hand to caress her jawline. She nodded hesitantly. “Well,” he laughed again. “This is embarrassing, but it was all muddy out at the football field that night and I completely face planted at practice. My mom made me take it off so she could clean it, but I put it right back on after you left that day. I didn’t realize you’d seen it.”

Understanding filled her face and she shook her head, laughing slightly. She buried her head in his chest.

“I should’ve just asked,” she said, propping her chin up to meet his eyes. “It would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.”

Rowan looked at her fondly, turning to kiss her wrist when she ran her fingers through his hair. “We made it back to each other,” he said, “I wish it’d been sooner, but I’m just so grateful for the chance now.” Aelin just hummed in response, cuddling back into him. “And I know we still have plenty to talk about -” more baggage from their past, more about what happened to her, more about what Aelin wanted to do now, but they’d have time for that in a little bit. “But right now I just want to kiss you.”

She looked back up, a devious smile on her pink lips, and leaned up to press a slow but deep kiss to his lips.

Rowan’s eyes fluttered closed, his hands gripping her hips as they kissed decadently, relaxing into the feeling.

Her hair draped over her shoulders, tickling his neck until he rolled them over, settling between her hips. He could feel himself getting hard, pressing against her, and their movements were getting more frenzied, about to pick up where they left off last night until -

His phone rang.

He paused as the sound rang out, but eventually continued kissing her neck. He’d look at it later. They were back to where they were before as the phone rang out, but it just started again.

Rowan groaned, but pulled back, reaching for it. “One second,” he told Aelin, who just smiled up at him from his pillows. Gods, he just wanted to devour her.

But the feeling quickly went away as he answered the phone. “This is Rowan Whitethorn,” he answered, sitting back. His face drained as he listened to the voice on the other end, and he didn’t know how to comprehend any of it as the other person hung up.

Clearing his throat, he set his phone back on his nightstand, looking down at Aelin, who’s brows were furrowed.

But he was still in shock as he said, “My mom’s in the hospital.”

------

Rowan had driven to Rifthold from Perranth just a few weeks ago, but on this trip back, he took the train.

There was no direct flight there, but the train was sufficiently faster than a car, though not nearly fast enough. The nurse hadn’t given him any information over the phone, just telling him that his mom had been admitted overnight and he ought to come by.

His leg had been jiggling from nerves the entire ride there.

The only soothing presence had been Aelin, sitting in the seat next to him. Rowan hadn’t insisted she come, she had. The moment he started getting ready to leave, she’d done the same, not letting him say a word about it.

But he appreciated the support.

He tried to give her support right back, especially as the train pulled into the Perranth station and she reentered her hometown for the first time in eight years.

“Are you okay?” Rowan asked her as they stepped out of the taxi that’d arrived at the hospital, squeezing her hand once. She smiled tightly, nodding once. Her tension was clear.

“I’m okay,” she answered, before directing the question back at him. “What about you?”

He loosed a heavy breath, looking up at the hospital in front of him. “Let’s go see.”

Neither of them said another word as they entered the hospital, those glass doors sliding open for them. He’d been here too many times recently, and though the last time had only been a few weeks ago, it felt like ages. He’d hoped it’d be ages.

But here he was again.

He gripped Aelin’s hand tightly as they walked up to the receptionist’s desk.

“Lianna Whitethorn��s room, please?” He asked, his voice tight. “I was called this morning.”

“Just right down the hall that way,” the young receptionist pointed, her voice light. “She’s the third room on the right.”

It was a small hospital, but was actually very celebrated for its cancer research and care, which worked well for Rowan and his mom. She was able to get good care, while still being in her home.

“Thanks,” he said, barely a hiss of air through his teeth, before heading in the direction she’d pointed in. Aelin followed close behind, hands still interlocked.

His heart was pounding as he walked toward the room, even more so as he reached the door, his brain imagining the worst possible scenario. It’d spread, the tumors had grown, she wasn’t going to make it, she was going to leave him.

Rowan didn’t know what he’d do without her.

“I’ll wait out here,” Aelin said, shocking him, but when he turned to face her, he could see her own nerves written all over her face. She was scared, he realized. Scared to see the woman she’d come to regard as her own sort of mother figure, scared of judgment.

She should know his mom would never judge her for what had happened, but Aelin’s own self hate was probably so deeply ingrained she couldn’t understand that.

Meeting her again would probably help. But he’d give her some time to prepare herself.

“Okay,” Rowan said, smiling thinly. “I’ll come get you in a minute.” He didn’t give her a chance to protest before pushing open the door.

His mom was laying in the hospital bed, a sight Rowan despised, but she didn’t look nearly as bad as his nightmares had convinced him.

“Hey mom,” he said softly, letting the door close behind him. “How are you feeling?”

His mom’s green eyes snapped open, and she smiled at him as he went to sit down in the chair next to her bed.

“Never better,” she answered, her voice weak. Rowan could feel hot tears threatening to spill.

“What happened?” He asked, “your next appointment wasn’t for another few weeks.” His mom shrugged.

“The nurse could tell you the proper medical blah blah blah,” she answered, “but it’s just side effects from the chemo. I got really dizzy last night, my heart racing, and you always insist I should just be careful and not hesitate to go get checked out, so I listened to your advice.”

He loosed a relieved breath, grabbing his mom’s hand and kissing it quickly. “I’m glad you listened to me,” Rowan said, chuckling a little to keep away the heaviness in the room. “But you called Lorcan too, right? If something serious had happened I wouldn’t be able to get here in time.”

The thought saddened him, but it was a sacrifice he’d had to consider. Besides, he trusted Lorcan to take care of her until he could get back to Perranth. The two had become pretty close while he and Rowan were in law school together, probably due to Lorcan losing his own mom rather young.

That’s what Lianna Whitethorn did; she helped out anyone who needed the comfort of a mother.

“Lorcan’s here already,” his mom answered, gesturing to the door, “talking with the nurse.” Then she smiled a little mischievously. “I just figured a call from the hospital would shake you up a bit, you weren’t answering my calls after all.”

Rowan let out a short laugh, tears in his eyes. “You think?” He said, smiling wetly. “I’ve been panicking the whole day.”

“It’s good for you,” his mom teased. “Now, who is that you brought with you, loitering out in the hallway?” She asked, in a tone that showed she already knew. Or at least suspected.

Rowan’s smile grew, and he stood up, heading toward the door. “I’ll show you.”

He slipped out of the room back into the hallway, finding Aelin leaning against the wall, her eyes closed. He’d say she looked peaceful, if not for the way her hands were shaking.

“Come on,” he said softly, reaching for one of them.

“Rowan, I-” she said, shaking her head, but he just leaned in and kissed her softly.

“Just take a chance,” Rowan whispered, before kissing her temple. “Okay?” Aelin sniffed, but nodded, letting him guide her toward the door.

Her grip on his hand was like steel as he opened the door, following close behind him as they both entered the room, almost like she was trying to hide behind his body. But his mom’s eyes immediately snapped to Aelin, her face settling into an expression of fondness. He didn’t think he was mistaken when he saw tears in her eyes.

“Hey sweetheart,” she whispered, voice full of emotion. Rowan nudged Aelin in front of him gently, but didn’t let go of her hand. His mom looked at their grasp on each other knowingly, and he couldn’t hide his smile.

“Hey Mrs. Whitethorn,” Aelin said just as softly, her voice tight likely from unshed tears.

“It’s nice to see you,” his mom said, smiling at her fondly. “I’m assuming it’s you that’s been keeping My Rowan so busy?”

Aelin chuckled a little bit, ducking her head down. But she actually let go of Rowan’s hand, moving carefully to go sit down in the chair he’d abandoned earlier.

“He’s easily distracted,” she teased, shooting him a small grin, and Rowan winked at her.

“Don’t I know it,” his mom added, and as much as Rowan would love to witness the rest of this conversation, he also wanted to give them some space. So he just walked over, carefully kissing the two most important women in his life on the cheek before pushing open the door, heading out to the hallway.

Maybe he’d go find the doctor, try and get a little more information about her condition. But before he could, he came across Lorcan, who was heading back down the hallway, a steaming cup of coffee in hand.

“Hey man,” the brunette said, lifting the coffee in a welcoming gesture. “Glad you made it alright.”

They paused in the hallway, only a little bit away from his mom’s hospital room. “Yeah,” Rowan said, sticking his hands in his pockets, messing with the two familiar objects in one of them. “The train ride was quick.”

“I just talked to the doctor,” Lorcan added, and Rowan straightened. “She’s alright, just a bit of an episode from all of the chemo.”

He nodded, sighing through his nose heavily. “That’s what she told me.” He rubbed at his forehead. “Thanks for being here.”

“‘Course,” Rowan’s friend dismissed. “That’s what I’m here for.” He glanced over at the door to the room. “Is she sleeping?”

Rowan shook his head. “Talking,” he corrected, “to Aelin.”

He didn’t miss the way Lorcan’s brows shot up. He’d told his friend a little bit about her, and the years they’d been so close, so he wasn’t surprised at the other man’s reaction. It was a strange mixing of worlds, but Rowan slowly came to realize that maybe it was for a reason.

“Hey,” he said, his brows furrowed. “Can I ask you a question?”

------

Aelin had stayed in his mom’s room for close to an hour, though Rowan had joined her about ten minutes after leaving. Aelin had shared a little bit about her life, in veiled enough terms that she didn’t have to say it outright but his mom knew exactly what she meant.

Rowan knew it wasn’t a trick of the light when he saw tears in his Fireheart’s eyes when his mom told her not only that she’d grown into a beautiful young woman, but also that she was so, so proud of her.

His mom had been free to leave after a quick chat with the doctor, and Rowan had invited her to dinner with him and Aelin, but she’d just wanted to go home and rest, which he understood. So it’d just been him and Aelin out on the town, though they’d stayed closer to downtown, farther away from all of their old haunts.

At least for dinner.

They’d taken a walk after eating, holding hands loosely and chatting about everything and nothing, and had ended up at the park they’d first met at. The sun was setting around them as they swung idly next to each other on the swingset, comfortable silence flowing in the air.

But Rowan broke it.

“I don’t know if I ever told you,” he said softly, looking back around the chain of the swing to meet her beautiful blue eyes. “But Lorcan is a criminal lawyer here in Perranth.” Aelin hesitated, clearly unsure of where he was going with this, but didn’t interrupt. “I asked him for advice about your situation.”

She froze, that instinctive fear to hide or fight or argue about to rear its head, so he pushed on.

“Just about Farran,” he added, shaking his head once. Aelin relaxed a little bit.

“What did he say?” She asked, and Rowan sighed.

“Honestly,” he said, “once I told him you didn’t want to push for legal charges, which he agreed could get messy as frustrating as it is, he said the best thing would probably be to just leave. To get your stuff and move out of Rifthold.”

He watched as Aelin processed the information, turning her head to look out forward across the park. It would be a big change, but Rowan thought it would probably be for the best too.

“Yeah,” Aelin rasped, “I think I should.” She shook her head. “That city - doesn’t have good memories. But neither does this one.” She laughed humorlessly before looking back at him. “Where am I supposed to go? And what about you?” Her lips wobbled. “I just found you again, you want me to leave you?”

“Gods no,” Rowan answered, horror racing through him at the thought. “I would go with you.”

It was obvious to him, but she furrowed her brows. “But what about your job, what about your mom? Don’t you need the money?”

He just smiled softly. “I had another job offer in Orynth that I turned down. I could probably finagle my way back into it.” He shrugged. “It was a little bit less money, which is why I said no, but today has made me realize that I really value proximity too. Orynth is only an hour away from here, just in case.”

An unidentifiable emotion grew on her face as she leaned her head against the chain of her own swing. “That’s where I was born,” she said. “I haven’t been back since my parents died.” A small watery smile formed on her lips. “I think I’d like to.” Silence fell for a minute before she turned to look at him. “I have a lot of money,” she offered, “if your mom needs any of it, I’d be honored to give it. Especially after everything she’s given me.”

She pressed a hand to her chest.

“Thank you, but I can’t accept that,” Rowan said, shaking his head.

“I insist,” Aelin protested, before her face faltered. “I know it doesn’t come from the best place but-”

“That’s not why,” he interrupted, stopping that train of thought. “Gods no. I just don’t want you to feel obligated, we don’t need charity.”

She just smiled. “I want to, I don’t feel obligated. I just want to help out however I can.” Rowan didn’t know what to say, thick emotion blooming in his chest, so he just nodded.

He loved her so much, so much it baffled him that he’d never realized before. But he was grateful for their past, just as much as he was grateful for their present, and for their future. Without everything they’d been through, who knows if they would have even ended up here at all?

With that thought, he reached into his pocket, and Aelin looked at him curiously as he pulled out his hand. Tears formed in her eyes as he opened his palm, revealing both of their friendship bracelets. He’d grabbed them from his apartment that morning when she wasn’t paying attention, and now felt like the right time to bring them back out.

She sniffed back her tears as he reached for her arm, tying the green and silver string around her wrist gently. He was fighting his own as she grabbed the red and gold, tying it around his own wrist just the same.

Both bracelets returned to their rightful places, Rowan didn’t let her go, their hands loosely connected between their swings.

“Thank you,” Aelin said a few moments later, looking over at him. Her expression was soft. “For being here for me.”

Rowan smiled back. “Thank you for forgiving me for the times I wasn’t,” he replied. That was all he needed to say, that’s all she needed to hear. And yet those simple words held so much more. Just like those other three that constantly seemed to be on the tip of his tongue now. “I love you.”

A lone tear slipped down Aelin’s tan cheek, and she smiled brilliantly back at him, a smile he hoped to see every day for the rest of his life.

“I love you, too.”

------

Eighteen Years Ago

Aelin swung back and forth on the swing idly, leaning against one of the chains to look over at Rowan swinging next to her.

It was a couple days before school started, her first year at a new place, and she and Rowan had now been friends for a few months. A hard few months that had only been made better by him.

“Where do you think you’ll be in the future?” Aelin asked, looking at him. His brows furrowed and he looked at her thoughtfully.

“Like next year?” He asked, and she giggled.

“No, like twenty years from now,” she corrected, and he shrugged.

“I dunno,” Rowan answered honestly, before smiling. “But I do know we’ll be together.”

----------

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#rowaelin #rowaelin au #rowaelin fanfiction #yoyok #throne of glass #throne of glass au #throne of glass fanfiction

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skeletonsweatshirt · 2 years

Note

How about something with Vander! What’s his morning routine like? Maybe something with Vander and his s/o? Only if you want to ofc!

I CAME UP WITH AN IDEA FOR THIS AS SOON AS I SAW THIS

Vander's morning routine with his s/o

Vander x gn!reader

Tags: DOMESTIC FLUUUUUUFFFFFFF, Big guy lovin his partner, im so gay, I didn't proofread this, I was too tired

A/N: I am currently in a lot of pain so I'm laying in bed writing because its fun. Enjoy the domestic fluff people, I know I do. Also excuse the fact this post is a bit shorter than the Silco one, it's just there's only so much you can write about a morning routine, especially with a man as busy as Vander.

Context: For these headcannons I am imagining you and Vander living together, whatever stage of your relationship you are at.

He 100% wakes up earlier than he needs to just so he can cuddle with you for a bit before he actually has to get out of bed.

When he does get out of bed, he always leaves you with a kiss on the forehead and I mumbled "Love you" into your ear.

I see Vander as a man that has a long ass morning routine despite not seeming like it.

He showers every morning, cleans up his beard, deodorant, cologne, the whole nine yards.

I mean he owns a business and is the figurehead of the undercity, he has to look good.

Even if you don't get up as early as Vander, he is still usually in the house by the time you get up.

To be fair at that point he is usually fully dressed and almost finished making breakfast for the both of you, but it is a pleasant 30 minutes you guys get to enjoy together before Vander has to go work.

Vander is actually a really good cook. No matter what he's making, it's always delicious.

Vander is always really touchy right before he leaves, because if you don't work at the Last Drop, he won't be seeing you for a few hours, so he wants to make the time with you last.

Even after he leaves, you think about him all day because Vander leaves notes around the house reminding you about different things that either you often forget to do, he forgets to do, or they're just cute little notes reminding you how much he loves you.

As your eyes crack open, slowly adjusting to the sunlight that was beaming in through your ajar window. You haul your comforter over your head in an attempt to capture the few fleeting minutes of sleep you have left. That plan is quickly foiled, however, as the smell of bacon and eggs drifts down the hallway and into your shared bedroom.

You groan softly and gradually get out of bed. You start your walk out of your room and towards the kitchen, only taking a few moments to stop in front of your vanity mirror and tame the bird's nest atop your head.

Just as you reach the end of the hallway, whatever thoughts you may have been having previously are interrupted by Vander's cheery humming and his brief "good morning" as he continued on cooking.

You sit on a barstool right by the counter and gently rub your hands over your face in an attempt to wake yourself up. You let out a sigh just as Vander slides a plate of delectable-smelling food right under your nose.

"Eat up, honey. Maybe it'll help wake you a bit." He stated, sleep still evident in his voice despite how long he's probably been awake for.

You slowly take the fork he included with your dish and poke at a piece of egg before lifting it to your lips, briefly blowing on it, and popping it in your mouth. Vander soon joins and takes the seat next to yours. Your early morning brain can't help but wonder how that little bar stool can handle holding up Vander, who is probably 90% muscle at this point.

You both continue eating, exchanging small conversation and random early-morning small talk. Vander seems to be eating faster than normal, and when you finally let your eyes wander to the clock hanging above the stove, you realize why.

Although it seems Vander beat you to the thought as he stands, deposits his dishes into the sink and he makes his way over to where you sit, arms open in anticipation of a hug. You're hesitant to give it to him, you know once he gets his after-breakfast affection he's going to have to leave. You hate when he has to leave.

"Come on, love. I'm damn close to running late." He had now woken up a bit, but it barely changed his gruff accent.

You groan as you cave in and bury your head into his chest, allowing your arms to wrap around his middle. Vander was always so...comfy. If you hadn't just started to wake up you would fall asleep right there. But you can't, not when you have to get ready and Vander needs to leave.

"Have a good day, Van." You coo as he leans down and steals a goodbye kiss from you.

"You too, honey. I love you."

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theartofruling · 5 months

Text

Who: Antonia +Geneva @gvldntrbl

Where: Northland Heights at Olivier's place

Toni had taken the day off, so she spent it at Ollie’s place. She was doing some small chores here and there. Washing dishes, and even washing clothes and bedding. She was mid-pulling the bedding from the dryer and it dawned on her that she didn’t technically live here but this stay had lasted for a few weeks straight of her sleeping here and waking up here. Normally she had times and days where work meant she stayed in whatever realm she was in for the night. But she was here even though Olivier wasn’t. The domesticity of it caught her off guard, and she’d have to make a mental note to speak with him and make sure she wasn’t actually imposing. She didn’t have time to overanalyze as a knock sounded at the door.

She looked down at herself wearing one of Ollie’s shirts with her shorts. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she didn’t have time to make herself look presentable. When she looked out the peephole she saw Geneva. She opened the door greeting her with a smile. “Hey! If you’re looking for Ollie, he’s out for a bit. But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” She stepped back to invite her in. “Let me grab that,” she said of the basket of freshly washed and dried bedding. “I was just doing some laundry. You caught me at the end of a load.” She took the bedding back to the room before resurfacing. “How are you? Can I get you anything?”

#[Antonia]#[Antoina:geneva]

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electricbluebutterflies · 2 years

Note

Jess/Leto + “you waited up for me?”

Mid-era domestic fluff, PG-ish, usual queued crosspost. (Does anyone even read these on here? I feel like no but weirder things have happened.)

There is comfort in familiarity, Jessica has learned. Steady routines anchored by trust, an understanding that her place in the world will not change no matter what happens around them, a slow-burning belief that has taken down even her natural skepticism. She is many things but above all else she is loved, above all else that north star that every other detail pivots on. Somewhere along the way she started to see that for the strength that it is, the true power of voluntary entanglement and-

Trust, she reminds herself. There is not a flickering doubt in her mind that her lover will find his way to their bed before the night is over, at the end of whatever it is that keeps him occupied into the night. She will wake up warm as she has almost every morning for over a decade; what certainty she is given, how fully she believes whispered promises of fidelity, how easily-

She doesn’t need to stay awake. She does anyways.

Still the nest she makes for herself, the knot of blankets she curls her body under, anything to make herself feel small. There are no thoughts of seduction in her mind, nothing unusual. If something happens in the quiet of night, if kisses start to lead somewhere, she will be willing but oh she is in no mood to start anything and-

Later than she would prefer but sooner than she expects, the door opens and she pokes her head out from her nest. She wonders sometimes if she will ever be able to look at her partner and not feel a rush of warmth, an understanding of safety like an echo of the first time she saw him. This man, her heart had said then in the first proof she’d had of its existence, this man does not take pleasure in destruction. And to think that she’d had plans of manipulation then – how quickly she learned she didn’t need to, how easy her life has been, how lucky she-

“You waited up for me?” he says, barely a question, still the formalities they practice more out of habit than need.

“I can’t sleep alone,” she counters. If she were more awake this could be a fun little fight, but the window for that mood passed an hour ago. As it is… she sleeps alone when in a state of anger she hits about once a year or when her partner is away, equally infrequent. Not for any reason she’d describe as voluntary, not-

“Not even for a few hours?”

“You know me better than that. Not if I have a choice.”

And she has made so many choices, she thinks as she watches her partner change clothes, as she allows herself everything that is hers. If she’d followed the instructions she was once given, she would have none of this. But she had been barely more than a child then, too easily led and corrupted and-

No. Not corrupted. Saved, maybe. She’s not sure any word she knows would cover what actually happened, how desperately it turned out she’d wanted to be treated like a person, and then she was and she bloomed and-

“Something wrong?”

“Am I only allowed to want you if I need something?”

She worries she does, sometimes. She is not as easy to deal with as she should be, she knows, too impulsive and too angry and barely able to bite her lip enough in public. This shrill beating heart she was not supposed to have can only hold so much, and she takes too much out on her lover because he is all she has, she does not have the exquisite systems he does, she carries the deep weight but not the mundane and in return-

If she is a problem, if she is more than he wants sometimes, at least he is kind. At least their fights, fluent as they are, veer petty. They have known each other too long and they have a child and an understanding that they are better people if they stay close, and if she doesn’t quite know how she pulls her own weight in this relationship sometimes…

No. She knows, just as she knows where bodies are buried. She can be as complicated as he never could, manifestation of worst desires and loved all the more for it. Someone has to be. Someone has to run damage control without ruining the family name. No one gives a damn about what she does anyways, so why not her.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

She knows, and she forgives, and that is how she shows her love, how much she tolerates. They could never intentionally hurt each other, she is sure of it, but the casual cruelties of domesticity are… she survives, she thinks, because she knows his heart is not in those little slights, just as hers is rarely in her own missteps. Because they are trying, and more days than not it is enough.

“I know.”

And she has such faith in him, she thinks, only thing she does have faith in anymore. Most if not all she ever knew turned out to be varying levels of wrong and it’ll take the rest of her life to untangle that, but this one tangle of what even she would call fate has given her everything and-

“I just… worry about you, sometimes.”

More than sometimes, she’d say if she was in any mood to spar. That is a glaring understatement of a kindness, she knows too well that he’s worse than she is sometimes and somehow warmer about it and-

“I just wanted to wait up,” she says, trying to end the conversation. “Nothing wrong and I don’t need anything from you either so don’t even-“

“Remind me, when was the last time you actually asked me for something instead of just-“

“I can’t find my own way around everything,” and it’s almost a laugh, a safe understanding that she just does what she wants and he’s lucky if he even knows and somehow this all works and-

“Never stops you from trying.”

“And you still adore me.”

They don’t talk about feelings, really. Not like this, not sober and awake enough for control. Not in any way that could mean more than they can carry. But there is an understanding of love, clear enough in the way they look at each other, and even lesser words are too much and she needs and-

“I do.”

She knows not to push, wants to but knows better. How clear it is that he’d do anything for her, and how she honors that by asking so little. It will be enough to be held, to poke her head out for kisses and-

“Everything alright out there?” she asks as her partner slips under the blankets and their bodies find their way to each other as they have thousands of times before.

“Nothing you need to stay awake all night trying to fix,” he murmurs. “You don’t…”

“I have to repay you somehow.”

“It can wait until morning.”

He’s right, and she wants to hate when he’s right but she never can, and instead she curls her body closer and takes a few face kisses. Closeness will do, too many words they can’t say but she can put the same intent into how she moves, into not-going-anywhere kisses and soft little sounds and-

“You know I worry about you too,” she murmurs as her eyes close.

“Only real thing in the world.”

#ebf writes fic #leto x jessica #queue

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

Text

Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever! this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it, starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

#my 2k challenge #chris evans smut #my fics #chris evans #smut #roommates au #friends to lovers #chris evans x reader #chris evans reader #chris evans reader insert #chris evans reader inserts #RPF #chris evans fanfiction

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silenceofthecookies · 3 years

Note

Hello cookie, congratulations on 700! For the event, can I plz ask for domestic headcanons for the bleach captains? If not that's ok! Thank you!

Of course! Enjoy!

Shunsui Kyouraku

Shunsui is at the age where he no longer plays around in a relationship. He's in it until the end, or not at all. He insists on open an honest communication and on being able to talk differences out like adults instead of screaming at each other like two stubborn teenagers.

He will do pretty much anything you ask him to do in the house. Captain or not, you shouldn't be the only one keeping your house clean and organized.

Waking up with a bad mood when living together with Shunsui is impossible. He prefers to have you in his arms when going to sleep, and he will hold on to you throughout the night. When he wakes up, he'll stay as still as possible until you wake up. Then it's time for morning kisses and cuddles.

Shunsui enjoys stargazing with you in the garden, accompanied by a nice bottle of sake and some snacks. He'll have his arms around you, or even have you sitting on his lap if you're comfortable with that, just so he can comfortably hug you and still watch the stars.

Juushiro Ukitake

Due to his illness, Juushiro can't do all that much in the house on bad days. On good days though, he likes to take the opportunity to cook for you. He enjoys is and is very good at making typical home-food. Nothing fancy or exotic, but the kind of things that are nutritious and make you feel happy.

Juushiro enjoys being near you more than anything. It doesn't matter if you two are doing different things in the same room, as long as you are near him and sometimes look up to smile at him, he will be happy. This is why he insists on getting a house with an open kitchen.

He also likes to decorate the house with lots of potted plants. Flowers to brighten up the room, some herbs for in the kitchen to cook with, and some bonsai trees for him to occupy himself with on days when he can't leave his bed.

He really enjoys you combing his hair, and if possible, he will gladly return the favour. Ideally, he'll sit in front of a big mirror when you do so, so he can look you in the eyes though the mirror as he talks to you. You can style his hair pretty much anyway you want.

Bakuya Kuchiki

Byakuya does what he can to be a good boyfriend/husband, but he is and will always be a noble. Things like housework is done by the servants, not by him. This counts for you too, of course. You won't need to lift a finger. He won't really understand if you want to do certain things in the house anyway (be it for the sake of control or just because you like something), but he'll let you.

Well-taught as he is, Byakuya wouldn’t be able to cook a meal if his life depended on it. He never learned how to cook, and he has no intention of learning it either.

Despite his busy schedule, he tries to have dinner with you every night. It’s not always possible, and sometimes when it is he has to go back to finish work afterwards, but he wants to make some time for you every day.

He will often get you little gifts. Flowers, chocolates, jewellery… Sometimes because he saw them and thought of you, sometimes just because he wanted to spoil you a little. Whenever he has something to apologise for, like for example not being able to make it to dinner with you, he gets you something as well.

Unohana, Shinji, Yoruichi, Urahara, Toshiro, Soi-Fohn and Kenpachi below the cut!

Retsu Unohana

Retsu's house is full of plants, and it wouldn't be complete without a garden as well. Most plants that she grows have some kind of medicinal properties, or can be used to make a nice, calming cup of tea. Teatime is a must, and if the weather allows it, she prefers to have it in her garden.

The plants are pretty much the only bright colours in the house. Aside from those, everything is in soft colours so the plants really pop out. There's also very little dark colours in the house, she prefers everything to be light. Big windows/windows that cover a complete wall are a must.

Retsu insists on no shoes in the house. They are left at the door and changed for indoor slippers or socks. No. Dirty. Shoes. In. The. House.

Marriage is no big deal for Retsu. If you want to get married, she'll be on board, but if you don't want to, she's just as fine with that as well. She appreciates the symbolism but at the end of the day, that's all marriage is. She doesn't need a piece of paper to tell people that she loves you and that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you.

Shinji Hirako

Shinji loves teasing you and once you live in the same house, that just gets worse. His terribly cheesy sense of humor is also still a daily occurrence. Yes, even when you're in a bad mood. Especially when you're in a bad mood.

Shinji is very lazy when it comes to his household. He'll make sure it's clean enough to not get sick from living in his own trash and dirt, but he'll push his chores off a lot and he'll leave his stuff lying around throughout the house. If you're a person who likes a clean and/or tidy house, you'll either have to kick his ass or clean up after him.

Surprise kisses. They happen a lot in general, just when he feels like it, but especially when you're in a video chat. He thinks it's hilarious to have your friends/family/co-workers think you have a perfect and loving boyfriend/husband, while he's actually a cheeky little bastard.

He leaves little notes throughout the house when he leaves. Some are sweet, some are jokes. He'll put them in the fridge, on the toilet, inside the shower, on his pillow,… anywhere he knows you'll come.

Yoruichi Shihoin

There is one night of the week dedicated to movie night and takeout. Both the eating and watching the movie will be done in bed. No, this is not up for debate. Lazy movie nights in bed are a must.

Be prepared for this woman wearing little to no clothes when she's home. She doesn't give a damn if people see her naked or not, and you're living together anyway, who cares if she's naked? Clothes are for going outside and for when visitors come over.

She loves taking baths or showers together as well, and not (necessarily) in a suggestive way. It's just a nice way to relax together, ‘and it saves water, right? *wink wink*’

She's actually a pretty good cook, at least when it comes to comfort food. When either of you are in a bad mood she'll step into the kitchen and make some of the best comfort food you've ever had. Which will then, of course, be eaten on the couch or in bed, in front of the tv, with a comfort movie.

Her favourite movies are comedies and romcoms. Anything that'll give her a good laugh is fine.

Kisuke Urahara

Another very laid-back person to live with. There is no rush at all when living with this man, with anything. He's the type of person to be at least a little late to every party or meeting because he just wanted to take his time and get ready in a relaxed way.

Don't let him take care of plants. He is the worst plant dad and they will die. Only cacti survive, and even those will struggle to do so.

Kisuke moves around in his sleep a lot and will steal the covers. A good way to remedy this is to use his chest as a pillow, he'll barely move at all then. Does the pressure on his chest really keep him still, or did he move around a lot on purpose as an excuse to get to you cuddle up to him at night? You will never know.

This man is very clingy. It doesn't matter what you're doing, he wants to have his arms around you. You're cooking? His arms are around your waist. You're trying to clean up? Good luck. His favourite moment is when you're both watching tv though. He'll pull you as close to possible to cuddle up on the couch.

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Toshiro has the windows open all-year round in his bedroom. Even when it is freezing outside, he'll want to open the windows for some fresh air as he sleeps, so he doesn't wake up in that stuffy sleep air that gets stuck in bedrooms. This does give a great excuse for cuddling while sleeping though.

He'll get you flowers every week, on the same day. It's a habit, one he doesn't want to miss. It's his way of reminding you that he cares, even though he's usually very busy with his work as a captain.

He'll agree a schedule with you to do chores in the house, just to make sure it all gets done and nothing gets forgotten. Of course, he helps in the house as well.

If you're not a fighter, Toshiro will want a dog in the house to protect you. Toshiro is very good at training dogs, as he is already used to being a leader and giving orders, and this dog will be the sweetest thing until either you or him give it the command to attack. He really counts on the dog to protect you when he cannot.

Soi-Fohn

Soi-Fohn will decorate her home in a minimalistic way. The colours don't jump out at you and there is just enough decoration to make it feel homely without having trinkets and pictures all over the place. Her home basically radiates calm and is so clean you'd almost wonder if she cleaned every day.

She sleeps with a lot of blankets. During the night she will want to say warm and she'll get closer to any source of warmth, which usually is you.

You need but say the word and Soi-Fohn will help you out with whatever she can in the house. Grocery shopping, the dishes, the laundry,… you name it. She will also start doing things without saying it if she notices you are a little overwhelmed.

She REALLY wants a cat. She loves the little creatures and has always wanted one of her own, but due to her often being away from home for extended periods of time, she never got one. If you've got a job that allows you to go home every day, she'll definitely bring it up.

Of het days off, she likes to cook something for you. She's actually a pretty good cook, though she rarely has the time to prepare something special for you.

Kenpachi Zaraki

Kenpachi is oddly clingy when you're home. He loves you, so he wants to be around you. Preferably have an arm around you. He's not shy about admitting it either. Why should he be? He wants to hold you. He's your boyfriend/husband. It's only normal.

He is the easiest guy ever to cook for. As long as you have made it, Kenpachi will eat about anything. Doesn't matter if you burnt it a little, doesn't matter if it's something he usually doesn't like. If you made it, he will eat it.

His favourite food is BBQ though, and when you eat BBQ he's the one making it. It's about the only thing he can cook, but that meat is prepared perfectly. He'll wear an apron will some stupid BBQ-related pun on it whenever he's doing so.

Kenpachi needs a dog in the house to play with, to get rid of that excess energy of his. It's likely a breed that's generally seen as dangerous, like a Pitbull. The dog is the absolute sweetest thing though, wouldn't harm a fly, and it loves playing fetch.

Kenpachi lets his dog sleep on his bed, which will cause some funny moments while trying to cuddle because the dog wants in on the affection too.

#shunsui kyoraku x reader #juushiro ukitake x reader #byakuya kuchiki x reader #unohana retsu x reader #shinji hirako x reader #urahara kisuke x reader #yoruichi shihouin x reader #soi-fohn x reader #kenpachi zaraki x reader #toshiro hitsugaya x reader #bleach x reader #cookie writes #headcanons #700 followers event #requested #Anon #scheduled post

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demonicheadcanons · 4 years

Note

Haha and okay I just saw that your askbox is open and read your rules, so if you don't mind, could I please request some hcs for Beel, Mammon, Asmo and Belphie and how they like to cuddle with mc? Cuddle hcs basically lol. If four is too many please feel free to adjust this! Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day 🥰

The Obey Me Brothers: Cuddling / Sleeping Headcanons

AN: Sorry this took a while!! I decided to write for all the brothers because I have a tiny rough draft of cuddle headcanons back from like, the first week I started the game. Mammon’s was the first I came up with, and I filled in the rest from my impressions of the boys from the first 4 lessons. They’ve evolved since then, and I hope they’re alright!! Take care 💙

Brother x reader writing style. Gender neutral reader as always. Written on mobile primarily so excuse any formatting mistakes please ;u; I only go on PC to add finishing touches and a read more

Some things may come off as suggestive, but aren’t really intended that way except for Asmo’s - this is fluff through and through

Lucifer

- Ideal cuddles: Likes to have you lay on his chest in his bed. He doesn’t want his brothers intruding and annoying him or pulling his attention away from you, so his room works best. There’s something about being able to look down and immediately see you there that almost gives him butterflies. It settles him immediately. He’s canonically not a morning demon, but waking up to that sight and knowing you trust him and feel comfortable around him gives him enough motivation and hope to do anything. Getting through the days becomes a breeze when he knows he can return to that most nights. He’s also a real delight to see on those early mornings - tired, but his smile brightens up his eyes, and his hair is a mess over the pillows. He’s not stressed out yet, so he’s fully relaxed and looks quite elegant.

Sadly, he’s often busy, and regularly misses out on sleep. At times like this, he likes having you curled up in his lap whilst he works, so long as you don’t distract him. He’ll press occasional kisses to your temple and you can nap or read or just lay there and listen to the music he always has playing when you’re in his study.

- He has to be very close to the MC to let them cuddle up to him, and initially he’s a bit stiff and awkward because he kind of forgot what this feels like. For the first while he’s quiet every time you cuddle him, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his head against yours and staring off into the distance. He’s touch-starved. Give him a moment.

- Once he settles and starts to get used to affection, if you two are alone he’ll walk up and put his arms around your shoulders and pull you in for hugs, leaning his chin against the top of your head. One time, months into whatever relationship you have, he does it in front of his brothers without thinking, and whilst he feels embarrassed after he realises he doesn’t mind - somewhere between him seeing it as staking a claim, because he’s still the avatar of pride, and between feeling comfortable enough in your presence that he can’t bring himself to care how they’ll react.

- On his rare days off, will absolutely whisk you off somewhere else for a day out in the Devildom and a night in a cabin or hotel or something where no one will bother the two of you and he can hold you in his arms for as long as he wants to and talk to you about everything that comes to mind, completely free and relaxed. He’s one to mumble about something or other when cuddling, unless he’s working, so when the two of you are just relaxing together he’ll ramble about something or ask you questions and listen to you talk.

- Once Luci said something that made you laugh whilst you were laying with your head on his chest and he knows he’s never going to forget about it. Will intentionally try to make you laugh so that he can experience that again. He was an angel once and yet, nothing feels more like heaven to him. Only thing is he’s not above teasing and tickling you to get a reaction out of you, so long as it’s one that might end in you laughing and smiling up at him, and you’ll feel his own laughter rumbling about in his chest.

Mammon

- Ideal cuddles: In your bed - it smells like you and it’s tidier than his room, probably. He likes to have his arms wrapped around your midsection whilst facing each other, on your sides. He also doesn’t mind if you use his chest or shoulder as a pillow, so long as you both have your arms around one another. Often times he’ll bury his face in your hair to take in your scent and because it’s soft and calming. By the time you wake up, he’s going to end up wrapped around you like a koala.

- Adores cuddling on days off when the two of you don’t have to leave for longer than a few moments at a time, especially in a place where his brothers won’t bother you; think, staying in a cabin where it all feels so domestic, you two can wake up whenever you want and make breakfast together and stay practically attached at the hip the entire time, sinking back into bed or laying together on the sofa whenever you want. No responsibilities, no pressure.

- Plays with your hands, or runs his fingers along your side, or tucks one arm up behind your back to hold you really close and play with the strands of hair at the base of your scalp / top of your neck. So long as it doesn’t disturb you heavily, he tends to have some kind of motion, not one to stay still for long.

- He’s quite warm, almost rivaling Beel, so you might have to ask him to loosen his grip on you if you get warm easily. If you do, he pouts and suggests he lowers the temperature of the entire room instead, or buys thinner blankets or gets rid of blankets all together.

- He tries to stay up until you fall asleep because it feels so peaceful and he really feels like he’s protecting you. Also, no one can criticise him or be rude to him when they’re sleeping. Even if you don’t ever talk down on him, his brothers weigh him down, so watching over you whilst you rest in his arms makes him feel so much better without worrying that you’re judging him.

- One time you two were cuddling and he just started crying quietly, because damn, he’s the luckiest demon in all the Devildom and even Lord Diavolo would be jealous of him right now. He’s an emotional cuddler, and will randomly tear up or start chuckling to himself. He’s quiet and doesn’t usually voice his thoughts when cuddling but you can tell he’s thinking constantly and always really happy.

- He gets shy easily enough but he’s also possessive, and he’s not one to turn you down. Because of this he honestly doesn’t care where the two of you cuddle, or who sees. His grip gets a little tighter around you if his brothers walk in and you’re curled up together on the sofa or something, but he wants to be held 24/7 and any mild temporary discomforts are more than worth it when he’s with you.

Leviathan

- Ideal cuddles: Please lay on top of his chest. Literally just lay on top of him. He melts every single time. His bathtub bed is perfect for this, because there’s really no other way to lie unless you want him to lay on top of you, so he prefers cuddling there - that, and it helps him stay cool, and he gets to be in the safety of his own room. In an actual bed, he’s the little spoon all the way. It’s hard to convince him you truly like him, but when you cuddle up against his back and wrap your arms around him he feels a little safer believing you might be telling the truth. It also makes him feel really safe and comfortable, a barrier from the outside world that he rejects daily.

- It doesn’t happen very often, but Levi is one of the brothers most likely to sleep in his demon form, and occasionally when you’re cuddling he’s so relaxed he takes on his demon form without really thinking about it. He says sorry and, half asleep, offers to turn back, but if you’re not uncomfortable then he starts to do it more often. He’s mindful about his horns and prefers to cuddle in his bathtub so he doesn’t tear any of your pillows or accidentally jab you with his horns.

- He’s somewhat cold to the touch unless he forces himself to raise his internal temperature. You’re unlikely to overheat whilst cuddling with him, but you’ll need a thick blanket or you may end up shivering after a few minutes, at which point he’ll try his best to be warmer and apologise profusely. He hates being warm, though - best to just go for the layers of blankets.

- Y’know that one thing where (usually) a girl goes up to her boyfriend and climbs into his lap whilst he’s gaming? Adores that. Oh, it makes him so, so happy. The first time you do it he drops his controller and after a minute of startled silence where you wonder just how red his face can get, he wraps his arms around you tight enough that you feel your spine click, and he buries his face into your neck and stays there for as long as you let him. He’s so flustered and yet, you can tell he’s happier than he’s ever been. It instantly cheers him up no matter how bad his mood is. It’s even better if you’re playing a game on a handheld system whilst he plays or watches something and the two of you are just, wrapped around each other but still doing your own thing. He just wants you close to him. He just wants to know you like him. Please give this boy cuddles.

Satan

- Ideal cuddles: Like Mammon, in a bed he likes to have his arms around your waist and for the two of you to be facing each other. Your room would be ideal but he would really rather be in his so much he ends up cleaning all the books off his bed just so he can cuddle up with you. He also likes the idea of cuddling up under a tree somewhere, or in one of those plush window seats, where you two can look out over the Devildom and he can point out different places and talk about them all - Satan has connections everywhere, and you’ll feel like you know everyone by the time he’s done.

- Satan isn’t particularly warm or cold. His temperature varies with the seasons, but he’s mostly just lukewarm. This means you’re unlikely to overheat or be too cold when you cuddle, which is always good.

- He likes to read to you or have you read to him, or ask questions back and forth to prod at each other’s minds a bit. A talkative cuddler - there are brief moments of silence, but he’s thinking constantly and he wants you to be involved in that, just like every aspect of his life. There’s usually a clear connection between one of his thoughts and the next, and he’ll have calm discussions about thinks with you in his arms.

- Only falls asleep first if he’s really, really tired. Otherwise he’ll stay up and read or talk to you until you fall asleep. Like Mammon there’s something about the peace, something about knowing you trust him, that you don’t see him as his anger, nor as his false personality that he puts on to please the others and maintain a decent status in comparison to Lucifer. You just see him as he is. He thinks about this a lot as he pets your hair.

- Speaking of petting your hair, he has a tendency to run his nails over your scalp when you’re in his arms. If you’re uncomfortable it would be best to tell him early on before the habit is set in stone. His main source of affection comes from the stray cats he feeds outside, so he just uses whatever knowledge he’s gained from that. This also means he’ll take one of your hands in his arm press gently into your palm with his thumbs, like he’s pressing the pads on a cats paw.

- Feels close to normal when he’s cuddling. Like he was never born solely of one emotion, because he feels so many in those moments that he really could be a whole on his own. He’s not one to hide this, and will openly vent to you about it. As well as this, he’s quite likely to come straight to you if he isn’t feeling well and needs cuddles to settle down. The only exception is if he’s really angry and is worried he might hurt you by accident. Even then, if you can get close enough to take his hand or wrap your arms around him, there’s a large chance he’ll settle enough to hold you in kindness and he can begin to heal.

- He doesn’t talk about it openly but one time he’s in an awful mood and you grab his head and hold it against your chest until he lets out all his emotions and feels better and it becomes his favourite thing in the world. He loves to cuddle with his head against your chest and your fingers running through his hair. You can tell that he adores it because he ends up purring and nuzzling his face against you. Unlike Luci, he hasn’t been to heaven, but he’d be able to describe the feeling of it much better than God himself could using just that embrace as his reference point.

Asmodeus

- Ideal cuddles: “Whatever you want, honey.” He isn’t picky, he just wants to be touching you in any way possible. However, he really likes laying with his head on your stomach or chest - especially if he can press light kisses against them. He wants some skin-on-skin contact, even if its holding hands or one of you burying their face in the other’s neck, or pressing feathery kisses to the insides of your wrist. It soothes him. He can’t stop himself from grinning if you nuzzle into his neck.

- He’s just the right temperature for cuddles. He’s on the warmer side, but whatever the perfect temperature is for you, he’s there. When he sleeps on his own, he likes to have a lot of blankets piled up, and then have a fan on to balance out the temperature, and he’ll push for the same setup when you’re cuddling together.

- One of the brothers who will go up to you when he wants attention. He’s the least shy, and will happily throw an arm around you anytime, anywhere. Honestly if it doesn’t bother you, he’d pull you into his lap in public or in front of his brothers and cuddle you close to him. The only problem he could possibly imagine is that other people are jealous of the two of you, so you’d really have to sit him down and explain if PDA isn’t at all your thing. Happy enough to link pinkies if that’s all you’re comfortable with, but he needs a lot of affection, so expect him to essentially trap you in his room later so you spend time with him.

- King of gentle kisses and soothingly rubbing your arms / back if you’ve not had the best day. He doesn’t mind whether you two talk or not, but on bad days he’s the best to go to - he’ll listen to everything you have to say, and verbally destroy anyone who’s annoyed you, all whilst holding your head to his chest and tracing shapes against your back.

- Loves loves loves listening to you talk about your day and then filling you in on his own. He’s a gossip but harmlessly, and will talk about whatever’s trending currently, keeping you up to date on everything. If he really wants to show you something or take a photo with you he likes to cuddle up with an arm around you and hold his phone in his other hand, scrolling through whatever social media he’s found this really interesting or horrible thing on. Otherwise he’s quiet enough, with mumbled words of affection and some suggestive jokes (and touches, if you’re comfortable. He won’t go anywhere with it if you’re just cuddling). He’s just happy and he wants to soak in it for as long as possible; he finally understands how people feel when they fall for him, he says

Beelzebub

- Ideal cuddles: Big spoon. Preferably in his bed rather than yours. He wants to wrap his arms around you, especially if you’ve already got your arms wrapped around yourself so that he’s essentially holding your hands at the same time. He buries his face at the base of your neck / top of your spine. He also really, really loves just having you cling to him in some way, and will carry you around like that - usually he loves having you curled up in one arm whilst he goes about his day or eats.

- He is so warm, but if you’re laying down he’ll insist on having a blanket because it keeps him safe from the monsters in his closet :( You’ll definitely need something to cool you down, and he gets into the habit of getting you a glass and a large jug of water before you cuddle up together because you have to stay hydrated and it should help you cool down at least a little. Get him a thin blanket and a fan of some kind and it should just about balance it out.

- He’s the opposite of Belphie, in that he doesn’t tend to cuddle for long periods of time - he wants to, and pouts any time he has to get up, but even if you help him not feel quite so hungry, he still needs to eat regularly. If you’re asleep he’ll move as slowly and carefully as possible so that he doesn’t wake you up. If you’re awake he’ll gush out apologies and then ask if you want to be wrapped up in the blanket and carried along with him. If you say no he pours a fresh glass of water and rushes out and back because he really wants to spend time with you.

- Sometimes he just gets really excited and happy and he’ll grin at you wordlessly.

- He’s quiet but in the early morning, when he wakes up, even if you’re not awake he’ll press soft kisses against your shoulders and the back of your neck and whisper whatever comes to his mind. He tends to repeat over and over that he really cares about you and that he’s really glad you’re here.

Belphegor

- Ideal cuddles: In the attic on his nest of pillows and blankets, curled up so that you’re both mainly on your backs but somewhat facing each other. No matter what he’s going to end up curling up against your side by the time he wakes up anyway. He also really likes sleeping on top of you, but this is a bit risky because he sleeps like a log and its hard to wake him up when you need to get up to eat or use the bathroom. If you’re not in the attic, the only other place outside of your rooms that he likes to cuddle up together to sleep is the planetarium, looking up at the stars together.

- He’s on the cooler side, but likes being warm - he’s used to the kind of warmth Beel produces. Because of this, he’s liable to snuggling in as close as he possibly can to you to absorb some of your heat. You’re going to become his own personal radiator.

- Unlike Beel, he will cuddle forever. There are very few things stopping him from just sleeping constantly, with the main reason being that he wants to spend time with you and Beel. In fact, you’re going to have trouble getting out of his grasp once he wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you down onto his pillow nest. Its best to devise a system and let him get used to it - tapping on his arm or hand 3 times, or something like that, and he’ll release you. He’ll also push for you to wake him up. The only other thing that will make him release you is if he brushes a hand against your side and you’re ticklish and laugh, in which case he’ll grin and start tickling you instead.

- Like Levi, if relaxed enough he’ll slip into his demon form. It takes less energy to be in that form anyway, and he likes letting you play with his tail when you’re cuddled up together. Acts annoyed if you start poking and prodding at him because you don’t often get to see the boys relaxed in their demon forms, but he really enjoys it. Purrs if you pet his horns.

- He’s not at all talkative but likes to listen. However, he’s liable to falling asleep very, very quickly, so it’s not worth saying anything too important to him; he’ll listen, and he’ll remember when he wakes up, but he’s not going to respond effectively in a timely manner.

- Belphie smirks and grins a lot, but sometimes he wakes up earlier than you and he looks at you until you wake up too, and you’ll see his lopsided smile as he beams at you, content. Mornings are okay like that, he decides, even if he grumbles and complains when you tell him you have to start getting ready for class.

#obey me headcanons #fluff #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #my headcanons #my writings #cuddles #pda #ask #request #angeloflovedemonoflust #angel-of-love-demon-of-lust

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

Taking Care Of His Pregnant Wife ~ Nam Yoonsu

You sighed heavily as soon as your eyes opened to see the left side of the bed was empty, with no sign of Yoonsu in the room at all. Your head shook, carefully sitting yourself up in order to go in search of him, resting a hand against the top of your bump before swinging your legs off of the bed, using the bed frame to support yourself as you rose to your feet.

After making sure that you had control, you began to tread through the house, walking across the landing and into the nursery that the two of you had put together where Yoonsu sat, flicking through scripts on the floor as he waited for you to wake from your afternoon nap.

His eyes were busy reading through the lines, unaware of you walking into the room until your foot tapped against the top of the piece of paper. As soon as he looked up and saw you, Yoonsu scrambled to his feet, resting his hands against your bump, watching on with a smile as you couldn’t stop a small yawn from escaping.

“Are you sure that you shouldn’t still be asleep?” He frowned, kicking his scripts to one side with his heel. “I thought I’d let you sleep for a little while longer, plus, the scripts for this new drama aren’t going to read themselves.”

“I managed to get two hours sleep, so with how wriggly this baby is, I’d consider that a success,” you chuckled, “but I can’t spend all day laying around in bed.”

Yoonsu’s head shook, if he had it his way, you’d be on bedrest from start to finish in your pregnancy to make sure that nothing could happen to you or the baby either.

“There’s nothing for you to do,” Yoonsu tried to argue, but your head could only shake back at him, dreading to think of the endless list of things that you needed to do.

And as your eyes looked past him, you knew where you needed to start. “I’ve got loads of washing to do from when you were away last week.”

“Let me take care of it if it’s mine,” he suggested, but even Yoonsu knew how bad of an idea that was. “Or at least you can teach me, how hard can a bit of washing be?”

A quiet hum came from you, having trusted Yoonsu to help you with chores before, only for it to end up creating even more mess for you. “I guess I could let you do some of the heavy lifting, it all needs taking downstairs first of all.”

“I’m on it, a pile of washing is easy work for me to lift up.”

“You just wait and see how much of it there is.”

Yoonsu flexed his arm as he led you out of the room, “don’t worry, we’ll get it all done as a team, you just shout instructions at me, and I’ll make sure that I get the job done.”

“I’m still not quite convinced that I trust you around our washing machine,” you muttered under your breath, “we need to make sure it arrives still when the baby arrives.”

“Nothing bad will happen, and even if it does, I’m sure that I’ll be able to fix the problem too.”

Your eyes rolled as Yoonsu continued to ooze confidence as you made your way over to the washing basket. He extended his arms out as one by one you piled him up with items of clothing that needed washing. It didn’t take long before Yoonsu could barely see over the mountain that he held onto, leaving you chuckling behind him.

Somehow, he managed to make it downstairs and into your utility room, dumping the clothes in front of the machine before racing off to grab a chair for you. Once you were seat, he began to load up the drum, attentively listening to everything that you told him to do.

“I could get used to this housework business,” he smugly smiled as a few minutes later, the machine began to fill up. “I can see myself being quite the domesticated dad sometimes, all I need is for you to show me the ropes with a few more things around the house and I reckon I’ll have it under control in no time at all.”

“I could start by showing you where the hoover is,” you jokingly suggested, “although you’ve probably never even held onto one of them before, have you?”

His mouth opened to try and protest, but soon closed again as his head shook back at you. It was only now that you were struggling, was Yoonsu really beginning to appreciate quite how much you did around the house in amongst working yourself too.

“The only thing that you concentrate on around this house anymore is growing that human of us,” Yoonsu suddenly instructed, “that’s got to be your priority.”

“Just because I’m pregnant, it doesn’t mean I can’t do anything,” you tried to remind him, but as ever, Yoonsu refused to listen to you. “You hate chores anyway, you complain constantly.”

“I could grow to love them.”

“That would be miracle,” you remarked.

Yoonsu jabbed gently into your arm, “it’s never too late to start leaning, and when our baby throws up on their baby grows, or our clothes, I want to be able to stick them in the wash without constantly having to rely on you.”

“You don’t rely on me,” you smiled, shaking your head, “there’s plenty that you do around the house that I could never even dream of doing.”

“Very little, this home depends on you Y/N.”

As reluctant as you were to accept responsibility, Yoonsu knew in his heart that you were the machine that ran the home. And now that you were pregnant, he was determined to repay you for everything that you’d done by being there for you and stepping up where he was needed.

“I’m going to take the best care of you,” he suddenly whispered as he took a seat on the floor beside you, “especially as you near the important stages of pregnancy too.”

Your eyes glanced down at him, “you already take the best care of me, there’s nothing more that you could ever possibly need to do, just you, that’s enough for me.”

“But it won’t ever be enough for me, I always want to be more.”

Yoonsu could see the exhaustion still in your eyes, how hard you were working constantly just to stay awake whilst growing your baby inside of you. He only wished he could work as hard as you and be as strong as you were every single day.

He worried constantly about you, he wanted to do everything for you and be the best possible husband, and soon to be father that he could possibly be. No matter how independent you were, Yoonsu knew that you needed him now more than ever.

“Our little one will be here soon enough,” he continued to speak, stretching up so that he could relax his hand over the top of your bump, “and when they are, I’m going to make sure that the two of you are safe and protected. I’ll do whatever it takes and learn to do as much around the house as I possibly can to be there.”

Your head nodded as yet again your eyes began to close, unable to fend off the urge to fall asleep again that constantly seemed to hit you.

“Don’t worry, you sleep, I’ve got my eye on this.”

---

Masterlist

#nam yoon-su #nam yoon-su imagine #yoon-su #yoon-su imagine #nam yoonsu #nam yoongsu imagine #nam yoonsu reaction #nam yoonsu scenario #nam yoonsu drabble #nam yoon su one shot #nam yoonsu fluff #k-drama #k-drama imagine #k-actor #k-actor imagine

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catxsnow · 3 years

Text

PAPA BEAR R.H.

Request: I'm so happy that you want to write the request! Anywho, my idea was basically that the reader works as a nanny for Lian while Roy is off doing vigilanting. And Lian gets attached to them while Roy is busy falling for them (mostly because they love his daughter as much as he does). In other words, I crave domestic bliss and would for you to right it. Thank you so much for taking in my request! As a writer myself I know it can be quite draining. I hope you enjoy this one. Heart anon :)

Warning: fluff, mentions of sex, mentions of roy getting injured

A/N: This one was so soft I loved writing it.

Word Count: 3.8k

Roy Harper moved into the apartment complex only a couple of months after you had. He and his daughter weren't the quietest of neighbors, but they were always kind nonetheless. You could hear their laughter early in the morning when walking by their door to work and the thumping of them running around to play.

Within the first month of him moving in, he knocked on your door twice. The first time was actually his daughter, Lian, who left a quiet knock. You barely heard it and when you couldn't see anyone through the peek hole - you opened it to find the cutest little girl with a smile on her face staring up at you.

She introduced herself to you, and mentioned that she and her father had seen you several times in the building. Roy popped his head out of his home only moments later with worry filling him. You waved at his appearance and quickly put together that Lian snuck out to see you.

He was ready to get mad for having Lian talk to strangers, even if you did seem like a good person. The sound of her giggle as you called Roy "angry papa bear" stopped him from doing so. It was a silly joke, but having Lian smile and laugh like that made it impossible to be mad.

That was the first time that you met them.

Almost exactly a week later they showed up again. The pair stood side by side with a container in hand. Lian wanted to make cookies for 'the pretty next-door neighbour' and Roy found himself wanting to meet you again, for longer than just a couple minutes that time.

From that moment on Lian couldn't stop talking about you. She was always trying to convince her father to go over so that she could play with you. The three of your spent hours together. Going for ice cream, pizza nights, every little kid's dream. There were countless times that Roy apologized for taking up so much of your time, but the change was pleasant.

Your first impression of Roy was right, he was a big papa bear. It seemed he dedicated his life to his daughter. Always sought for the best, always trying to make the best life for her. There was nothing more that he wanted than for her to be happy.

Roy asked you to babysit Lian one night. It was clear he was in a rush and had no other options. Though you hadn't planned to be left alone with a four-year-old that evening, you couldn't say no to Roy. Whatever he had to do, clearly it was important by how frantic he was.

So, Lian ended up in your living room, cuddled up on the couch with you and a movie playing on the TV. She was eager to spend time with you, but you couldn't help but be worried about why Roy was in such a need to drop his child off with you and run. He had never acted like that before.

"Do you know where your dad went?" curiosity had finally gotten the best of you. Lian was barely awake in your arms. It was late at night and Roy hadn't made any notice of when he was going to be back - not that you minded watching her for the whole night but where could he possibly be?

"I'm not really supposed to tell you, but," Lian looked around the room as if to check if anyone appeared in the room within the last two minutes. She gestured for you to lower down to her level and cupper her little hands around your ear. "Daddy saves the world, he goes by Arsenal." Her pronunciation of his hero name came out slurred, though you could clearly understand. "He's a superhero."

It was easy to guess she was joking at first. Every little kid looked up to their parents as heroes. She couldn't have been any different. However, the longer you thought about it the more you realized she was telling the truth. Roy avoided wearing T-shirts around you and the times that he did you couldn't help but notice the scars on his skin.

His quick reaction time whenever you nearly dropped something was impeccable, and he always seemed to notice the smallest details from a mile away. Maybe it was possible that Roy, the big angry papa bear was Arsenal. You wouldn't know until you asked him - a conversation that he was surely going to avoid.

Lian fell asleep on you before you could ask any more questions. Apparently, you took too long to comment on her revelation. Roy, as Arsenal? You heard a little bit about the hero, but nothing as much as Batman or Superman. He used to work with Green Arrow, went off to fight the world by himself - sort of.

That was about as much as you knew of Arsenal. It was a rare occasion to know more about the man under the mask than in it. If she was evening speaking the truth - then again what reason did she have to lie?

By the time the movie was over, you were nearly asleep right alongside Lian. The little girl hadn't stirred since she fell asleep. A knock at your front door jolted you awake. By the erratic tapping, you were sure it was Roy. Light from the hall poured into the room when he opened it after your welcome.

Your finger was held up to your lips to tell him to be quiet. It was already so late in the night and you didn't want Lian to wake. Roy sat down in the chair across from you. He winced, as if his muscles had been overworked - or if he had taken several hits too many. The bright light of the TV shone on his face, illuminating the dark bruise that was starting to form under his eye.

"I can't thank you enough for watching over her," Roy told you. "How was she?"

"An angel, like always," your smoothed down some of her hairs that had been sticking up. A sleepy smile was stuck on her face.

"She likes you, a lot," Roy looked exhausted. It was clear that he wanted to go to bed and pass out. The one reason that he was chatting was to be polite. "You know, the day that she came over for the first time, she had been bugging me all morning to go see 'the pretty lady next door'."

"Well I can't complain that she took matters into her own hands. Who knows how long it would have taken you," you grinned. Even in the dark light you could see the flush rise to his cheeks. He was an attractive man - and you often times wondered what happened to Lian's mother. Was she still in the picture? Were they married? Did she know about Arsenal?

"Lian told me something pretty interesting tonight, Roy," you cleared your throat. It might not have been the best time to address the issue, but you would surely lose the courage if you waited any longer. "She said that you run off at night being a superhero. Arsenal, to be exact."

"You know kids, always with their crazy stories," Roy was quick to try and cover up Lian's exposure. He was taken aback that his kid was so quick to spill secrets - they had gone over it dozens of times - she couldn't tell anyone. Even the pretty neighbour who they saw nearly every day.

"Cut the crap," you stared at his bruise. Roy let out a defeated breath. He ran his hands down his face - less than half a year of knowing you and you had already found out his secret. Oliver wouldn't be impressed. "You don't have to lie to me, you can trust me. Clearly, you do, or you wouldn't have left Lian with me for the whole night."

"She shouldn't have told you."

"I'm glad she did." Lian shuffled against your side. Her arm that was tucked into her chest stretched across you like she was giving you a hug. Roy smiled at the gesture. "I was worried about you tonight. You left in a rush and I didn't know what had happened to you. Lian was worried too.

"I won't tell anyone if you're worried," you assured. "Actually I'm kinda glad to hear that your scars are from being Arsenal not something like being in a gang." Roy chuckled at your confession.

"You're taking this all quite well." You shrugged. It always seemed like he had a secret or two, you just weren't expecting something like this. "Thank you, for understanding - and for taking care of Lian. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Roy."

Roy took full advantage of you knowing his secret. He didn't need to come up with some lie on where he was going or why. Instead, he could drop Lian off at your door with a simple "gotta go" and you'd understand that the world was in trouble. Roy was grateful for you, for understanding and to be so willing to help him take care of Lian.

It wasn't just babysitting anymore, you were nearly just as big of a part of raising Lian as he was. She looked forward to seeing you each time, never did she feel like it was something that she had to do. They both looked up to you.

A hot Saturday afternoon, after a night of wreckage that you and Lian had created in your apartment, Roy decided to take you both out for ice cream. He had come back to your home to find that every blanket and cushion in your apartment had been pulled out to make a massive fort that covered your entire living room. The mattress from your bed had been pulled off and was surrounded by blankets.

Although your home was a mess, he found the both of you asleep with the title scene of Lian's favourite movie on. Crumbs of cookies were scattered everywhere, along with half-eaten plates of french fries. Clearly, the both of you had a wild night and Roy couldn't bring himself to wake either of you.

Lian had talked about her night all morning the next day and how much she loved to spend time with you. Roy thought it to be the perfect opportunity to take you out for an afternoon you deserved. It wasn't much, but the thought was there and you appreciated his efforts.

There was a small, pop up ice-cream shop in the park Lian adored. It was her favourite place to get ice cream because she could sit on the park bench and watch all the ducks in the pond. Her little mind was still so pure and the quacks of the baby ducks had her a giggling mess.

Each of her hands were held in yours and Roy's. She's do a running start before getting the both of you to swing her up into the air. Your arms were tired by the time that she finally had enough of the movement - unlike Roy who seemed perfectly fine. Using that bow of his left his arms huge.

"What kind of ice cream are you going to get?" You asked Lian. She hummed, deep in thought like it was the toughest decision he would ever have to make in her life.

"Chocolate!" She finally decided on. Roy chuckled at the answer, it was what she got every time they went out for ice cream. He tickled her sides for a moment before hoisting her up onto his shoulders. Lian's arms stuck out like she was an airplane and the smile never left her face.

Roy was a great dad, that was easy to tell. It was hard not to be attracted to the fatherly side of him. He seemed like a different person when he was with his kid and when he was talking to you about the stress of the life he lived. Lian had really brought you both together and you were quick to call him one of your closest friends.

Many nights he would come over after Lian was asleep just to hang out with you. It was refreshing talking to someone outside the Titans. Not to mention that he adored how you cared for his daughter. In the year that you had known them, you took her in like she was your own. Even her own mother couldn't achieve that love anymore.

You reminded him of the life he could have, if he ever wanted to get out of the hero game. Settle down with Lian, have the white picket fence life that he always mocked for years. Would it really be that bad? To live without worrying whether or not he was going to make it out alive the next day? To find someone that he could love?

Your phone rang just as you were about to reach the ice cream shop. It wasn't uncommon for your boss to call you on the weekend, however whenever he did it was usually important. "I'm sorry, I have to answer this, I'll just be a minute." Roy nodded in understatement. He knew the burden of responsibilities more than anyone.

"Daddy?" Lian spoke. Roy grabbed her once more and lifted her back down to the ground. He knelt down to her level so that she didn't have to look up. "If you're my papa bear," she hadn't started to use that term until you started referring to Roy with it. "Does that make (Y/N) mama bear?"

Roy was taken aback by her comment. Although he knew that you and Lian were very close, he never expected she would look up to you as her own mother. Jade wasn't in Lian's life anymore, and she was far too young to remember what she was like. You had been the closest thing to a mother in Lian's life.

The more he thought about it, the more he was glad to have you as a mother fill in for Lian. It wasn't just the will to take care of her when Roy dropped her off, you went above and beyond to make her life good. Lian wasn't a burden that had been shoved into your life because of knowing a secret, she was a blessing.

Just as you were a blessing in Roy's life.

Roy was grateful for the nights that you stayed up with him, talking, listening, whatever he needed you were there. It was so easy to open up to you, more than Dick or Donna or anyone on the team. You didn't have to be there for him, you choose to be because you wanted to be.

You baked cookies with Lian on a Sunday morning because you wanted to. You helped to bandage Roy up after a hard night because you wanted to. You cooked supper for them both when Roy was having trouble to keep up with his life because of being Arsenal because you wanted to, not because you needed to.

Being part of his life was sudden, but you wouldn't want it any other way. And truth was, Roy wasn't sure if he could keep up both of his lives without your help.

"I didn't think she was ever going to fall asleep." You fell down on the couch next to Roy. He called you over when Lian refused to fall asleep unless it was you putting her to bed. She requested story after story and wouldn't settle until you promised that you would come over again to make pancakes in the morning.

His arms stretched along the back of the couch and as you leaned your head back you rested on him. Eyes shut, lips parted, Roy didn't notice that he was staring until you let out a sigh. He couldn't stop thinking about Lian's comment. It was clear that she looked up to you as a mother, but did you feel the same?

Or more so, did you only care about Lian, and not him? It couldn't be. You spent nearly just as much time with Roy as you did his daughter. The moment that they walked into your life you were consumed by them. It was hard not to be, they added so much joy.

"Did she get you to promise to come back in the morning again?" Roy asked. Without opening your eyes, you nodded. He wasn't surprised.

"I may as well live here at this point, the only time I'm ever in my own home is to sleep," you joked. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, to live with Roy and Lian. You were more than just a babysitter, you were practically family. Roy knew everything about you, and you him. Living together almost seemed normal.

"I'd like that," Roy confessed. He had full intentions to say that Lian would like it if you were to move in. The idea of it probably had him just as excited as his daughter would be.

"Would you?" You cocked an eyebrow. He wanted that excuse to spend more time with you, to be with you. Throughout the year you grew to love Lian, he had completely fallen in love with you, without even realizing it. You made his family feel complete once more. You made him feel complete.

Roy wanted to wake up with you every morning. He wanted to sit around and drink coffee while Lian told you both about her dreams that night. He wanted to come home after a long night's mission to find you cuddled up in his bed, half asleep and waiting for him. Roy wanted to have a life with you.

You looked over at him, waiting for his response. His pale skin was tinged pink, eyes filled with worry of rejection. Worried that you loathed the idea, or more so, didn't feel the same way about him.

How could you? Roy had managed to steal your heart right alongside Lian. You missed his presence when he wasn't around, and when you were together the time spend never seemed long enough.

"(Y/N), I..." Roy tried to grasp the words that were right at the tip of his tongue. He wanted to tell her that this past year of knowing her had been the best year of his life. He never wanted to lose this happiness that he had with you. Instead, he stuttered over his words, flustered. "Fuck."

Roy's palms grasped your cheeks. He gave you just a moment to express if you didn't want this, a moment too long. Your lips were needy against his, this moment had far too long waited for either of you. Your fingers threaded through the hair on the back of his head, keeping him close against you.

His arm snaked around you, gesturing for you to lower yourself on the couch. Not once did he break the kiss to hover over you, trapping you beneath his frame. Any exhaustion that you had was wiped away entirely. Every nerve in your body was lit up from his touch.

"Stay with me?" Roy asked. He gave you no time to answer, his lips back on yours the second that he was done asking his question. You couldn't leave, not when you already couldn't get enough of him. His lips, his touch, everything, it wasn't enough.

"Yes," you latched onto the hem of his shirt, tugging it up until he got the hint to take it off completely. "Your room. Now."

You and Roy were up far earlier than Lian the next morning.

Even though your night had been long you still found yourself excited to wake up the next morning. You were excited to wake up next to him. Limbs draped over you, warm breath at the back of your neck. Light kisses left against your bare skin as Roy awoke shortly after you did.

Your brief time in bed that morning was short. The last thing that you needed was Lian walking in on the both of you naked. So, you had gotten up to keep with your promise to her. Pancakes.

"Didn't know you were the clingy kind, Harper. Not that I'm complaining," you joked. He barely took his hands off you all morning. Holding you flat against his chest as you cooked breakfast, soft kisses that warmed you completely. "Go wake up Lian, everything's ready and you know she doesn't like cold pancakes."

Roy kissed you again before doing as he was told. His lips lingering, wondering if he needed the extra few minutes with you before Lian joined you. You pressed against his chest to make the decision for him. He had gotten more than enough love the past ten hours to need just a moment more.

He returned moments later, arms full with Lian. She got excited when noticing you with a plate full of pancakes. Roy set her down in her chair before taking a seat on his own. You kissed the top of her head, then his.

"I could get used to this," Roy spoke with his mouth full. Lian scolded him, her finger shaking at him and a pout on her face. He swallowed before continuing. "If you were serious about your offer last night."

It was a big jump for the both of you, even if it was true that you had basically been living together for quite a while now. He wasn't worried about Lian disagreeing with the idea, she would love it. In fact, he was sure that if she knew about the offer there was no possibility of you saying no.

You grabbed Roy's hand from under the table. Moving in wasn't something that you needed to rush. Being right next door, it was easy to see each other whenever anyways. Rushing something that you wanted to last was never the safest option, and you wanted whatever the hell you had going on with Roy Harper to last a lifetime.

"I was," you answered. "One day."

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