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jamaiskookie · 4 years

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Yoongi Doesn’t Romance [myg x reader]

✂︎ warnings: excessive cursing, bad writing

✂︎ word count: 6.6k (I meant to write a very short drabble… aHAHHA)

✂︎ genre: it’s.. literally just crack. Good dosing of cheesy romance and overused cliches

✂︎ A/N: it took awhile but we here!!! with a short drabble but still!!! hope you enjoy this cringey fluffy fic full of shameless jimin and shy yoongi- arguably the best yoongi

masterlist asks

✂︎ synopsis: yoongi isn’t great at expressing feelings- especially with how nervous he gets around you. alternatively titled: yoongi sucks at romance

“... and I don’t understand why you’re so hell bent on denying it! You obviously have a crush on him!” You roll your eyes at Namjoon, flicking your index finger at his forehead and watching as he flinches and lets out multiple sounds of pain, which you promptly ignored.

“I’m denying my crush because he so obviously doesn’t like me back! He hates me, Joon. He literally detests me.” You say, jumping back onto the stained and cluttered couch that occupies most of you and Namjoon’s shared dorm.

“And I’m telling you that you’re overthinking it,” Namjoon says, chewing on some popcorn. “I don’t think he hates you, you’re just exaggerating things.”

“I am not!” You protest, swinging your head around to look Namjoon dead straight in the eyes. “He hates me! He practically leaps out of the room whenever I’m around.” Namjoon opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by Taehyung, who is currently seated two feet away on a small thrifted chair.

“Shhhhhhhh-” His eyes are still fixated on the TV screen, watching the random nature documentary playing that you and Namjoon had long ago abandoned. You and Namjoon both watch Taehyung for a second amusedly as he attempts to stuff popcorn kernels in his mouth and completely misses the mark. You’ll have to remind him to clean up the floor later.

“But,” Namjoon whispers to you, “Literally every time you aren’t around I swear all he can do is run his mouth on and on about you.”

“Not true!” You yell, squeaking out a quick apology to Tae, who glared at you for interrupting the segment on apes. Something about how apes can learn languages, but you’re not too sure. “Lies!” You hiss, elbowing Namjoon in the rib.

“Ow-!” He jumps back, wincing. “Why do you always resort to violence?” You didn’t have an answer to that question, unfortunately. “And I’m not lying! I swear on my bonsai trees he always asks where you are whenever you don’t show up to stuff.”

“Maybe he just wants to know how much glorious time he has left before he has to face me again.” You offer, tearing open what must be your third dorito family pack of the night. (It’s fine, you’ll burn it off by running to class tomorrow when you’re inevitably late once again.) “Namjoon, face the facts: he only tolerates my presence occasionally because we share a couple of mutual friends. If it weren’t for you and the other guys, he would’ve already started a hate club for me, I’m sure of it”

Namjoon stared at you exasperatedly, before muttering something that very suspiciously sounded like ‘God you’re such a dumbass’ before taking out his phone to swipe through Tinder, not uttering another word to you.

Despite Namjoon’s utter and complete lies, you don’t exaggerate anything when it comes to Min Yoongi. Not his hatred towards you, or how he speaks two words maximum every year directed at you, or your massive slight crush that you’ve harboured for him, or how cute he looks with beanies on, or how you almost fainted that one time you saw him playing basketball, or- well, you get it.

The point is, you can’t acknowledge your crush on Yoongi (Even though everyone around you is fully aware of it) because he seems to completely resent you and your existence for no reason in particular. Namjoon, Taehyung, Jimin, and many others insist that he doesn’t hate you as much as you think, but you dismiss their stupid assumptions time and time again. You’d love to believe them, but the evidence and first hand experiences you’ve had says otherwise.

✂︎

Exhibit A: He seems to avoid you on campus, or anywhere you go. This one is actually quite impressive considering the classes you two share. You’ve never seen someone go so out of their way to ignore someone they don’t like. It’s pretty commemorable. Whenever you sit in the same row as him during a lecture, he’ll move seats. One time you waved at him at a coffee shop and he just strangely blushed, and bolted out of there faster than you could say ‘rejected’. Taehyung ended up saying it, all while laughing his ass off. (You made him pay for your coffee that day.) Everytime you head over to Jimin’s dorm, he’ll just blankly stare at you two and march straight towards his room and lock himself in there until you leave. He even gulpes and swerves away when he sees you in a hallway.

You know, that awkward thing when you’re heading the same direction so obviously you’d try and be slightly friendly and wave or something but then he’ll just suddenly turn around, navigating through the crowd of angry, late students and facing all that social pressure just so he doesn’t have to waVE BACK AT YOU- okay, maybe you aren’t as over this incident as you thought.

Exhibit B: He won’t speak to you or touch you or interact with you in any way. Okay, maybe ‘in any way’ is a teensy bit exaggerated, but he definitely seems to find trouble when you two are left alone for some strange reason. He seems to be fine when all your other friends are around, but he just looks so uncomfortable when it’s just you two. He won’t look you in the eye, and he’ll just mutter incomprehensible sentences under his breath.

A couple months ago you attempted to hold a decent conversation with him in the kitchen of Jin’s fancy ass apartment. After many awkward silences that you had to fill up with your timid and boring small talk, he just mumbled something and you had to watch him go into the bathroom and scream. Either he was having some really bad explosive diarrhea, or having to talk to you was just that excruciating. Apart from intense Uno game nights or when he’s under the influence of alcohol, you’ve never even heard Yoongi raise his voice!

How is it possible that just by talking to you, he feels the urge to scream? You aren’t that boring, you think-! Actually, now that you think about it, you did try and bring up sea otter fun facts as a conversation starter, so maybe that’s why he had to scream.

Personally, you think that sea otters are the most adorable creatures to ever grace the earth, but Yoongi does seem like the kind of guy to prefer bats or something like that.

Exhibit C: The elbow incident. This haunts you to this day, not just from the horrible humiliation, but if the two previous exhibit’s weren’t convincing enough, this was real cemented evidence that Min Yoongi hates your guts.

You were talking to Jimin about the significance of ‘Phineas and Ferb’ in the cinematic industry, when your dumbass had tripped and caught yourself on Min Yoongi’s fucking arm (His bicep, on a completely unrelated note, was much bigger and stronger than you had thought, which was a complete other source of anxiety.) You would much rather fall on the ground and break all your bones, because the look on Yoongi’s face as he stared down at you clutching his arm like some sort of idiot, could only be described as disgust or horrified. Maybe both. You immediately let go, of course, and blabbered out apology after apology, but all he did was just stare and blink owlishly at you.

You proceeded to blush madly and run away, hiding your face in Jimin’s chest, which was, in hindsight, not a good idea, considering how hard he was laughing at the time. (What you didn’t see was Yoongi staring from behind you, deciding to never wash the hoodie he was wearing ever again.)

So, that concludes your argument against Namjoon’s preposterous claim that ‘Yoongi doesn’t actually hate you Y/n, it’s all in your head’ Delusional, that’s what he is. How could someone like Min Yoongi, a person you have literally been drooling over for most of your academic career, a person who single handedly has every sorority girl wrapped around his finger, even tolerate your very existence, much less be attracted to you? No, none of it makes any sense. You’ll continue to hurt yourself by being around him, despite clearly knowing that he detests your presence, and will even deny the crush you’ve somehow managed to build up for him.

Because even though it hurts to see him flinch and ignore you, you truly do think that Yoongi is one of the greatest people to ever walk on this shitty earth. He’s caring, even if he does pretend to not care, he’s smart, passionate, ambitious, and you’d be absolutely lying if you said you haven’t dreamed of pinching those squishy cheeks he seems to hide away so often.

If only you knew why he hated you so much.

✂︎

All the way across campus, Yoongi was having a similar breakdown while Jimin looked on anxiously.

“God fucking dammit!” He screamed. The sound comes out slightly muffled since Jimin can only hear what he’s saying through the pillow that Yoongi currently has his face buried in. He kicks his legs up and whines, hitting the bed with his hands. Jimin is suddenly reminded of his 4 year old cousin who threw a tantrum when she didn’t get the doll she asked for.

“And then you know what I said, Chim?? Do you kNOW?” Yoongi’s been screaming for the past thirty minutes or so. Jimin’s surprised that nobody on campus has come pounding on their door telling them to shut up yet.

“Please, do enlighten me.” Jimin murmurs, picking at his nails.

“I said ‘Salutations’ AND THEN I RAN OUT THE FUCKING CLASSROOM.” Yoongi tilts his head up from the pillow and groans, scrunching his nose up at the embarrassing thought.

“At least it’s not as bad as the time you screamed in the middle of the street when she touched your shoulder… right?” Jimin offers timidly, forcing a smile on his face. An angry, sleep deprived Yoongi is already scary enough, but he’s ten times more intense when the source of anger comes from you.

Honestly, sometimes he wonders how effective it would be if he could just lock Yoongi and you in a room and force you two to admit your feelings for once. (Until he mentioned this idea to Namjoon, who dejectedly informed him that they’ve already tried that.) ((Yoongi broke out of the room using a bobby pin and sheer force of will)) He’s never even seen a pair so smart, and yet so obliviously naive. Anyone with functioning two eyes could see the horribly obvious feelings the both of you shared for each other. In fact, for the first couple months upon meeting Yoongi, he thought that you were his girlfriend, based on how much he talked about you. That assumption carried on when he met you, until Jin told him that the two of you were just in a weird phase of dumbasses who kinda flirt.

It’s not Yoongi’s fault that he’s so bad at having actual emotions that aren’t the tears of joy that he sheds whenever he gets free coffee from the barista at the local cafe, and it’s not your fault that your self esteem is too low to recognise that Yoongi basically worships you.

In theory, you two are a match made in heaven. Both just as stupid as the other.

“How do you do feelings, Jimin?” Yoongi sits up from the bed, and Jimin thinks that the tear tracks and defeated look on his face is a tad bit dramatic, but he chooses not to comment on it, for fear of his own life.

“... what?”

“You know, feelings. How do you romance?”

“... what?”

Yoongi, completely exasperated, throws his hands up in the air and turns around to face Jimin. “Everytime I try to talk to her by myself it’s like I’m a fish out of water. I get way too nervous, and then she starts talking about otters, and she’s way too pretty so I obviously start freaking out! I don’t know, you and Jungkook have been dating for a year now, right?” Jimin nods.

“How’d you do that.”

“... Are you asking me how I got a boyfriend or-? Because I assure you that 85% of getting Kookie to be my boyfriend had to do with my great ass, so I can’t really help you out there- ” Jimin laughs as he watches Yoongi squeal and cover his hands over his ears.

“Can I ask you for relationship advice without hearing about your sex life, please?” Yoongi pleads. “I know too many unnecessary things about how Jungkook is in bed.”

Jimin decides to put his friend out of his misery. He places a hand on his shoulder, and shoots him a soft smile.

“Yoongi, my young grasshopper- ” He retracts the hand when he sees the deathly stare Yoongi is looking at him with, but so far so good, “- there really isn’t much to it. Tell her you like her, and in the very, very, extremely small chance that she rejects you, so what? It’s not like you’re going to spend the rest of your life getting ov- ” Jimin’s voice falters again when Yoongi’s stare intensifies.

“You don’t get it!” He complains, throwing himself back onto the bed once again. “You’re all good at this sort of stuff!” Jimin tilts his head in confusion. “You know, relationships! Talking to people! And I’m pretty sure Y/n is the love of my life, so I’m literally going to break down if she rejects me! I’m going to cry for days, I already know it!” Yoongi stares up at the ceiling, pouting at nothing in particular.

“She’s so perfect, smart, nice, caring, funny, strong and incredible. It hurts that she’s never going to like me the way I like her.”

“You know, Yoongi, if you never talk to her, she’s never going to know you feel that way.”

He sighs and closes his eyes, while it takes all of Jimin’s strength to restrain himself from not throwing Yoongi out of the window.

Once he’s absolutely sure that Yoongi is fully asleep, he pinches the bridge of his nose and rolls his eyes. After a few quick taps, he brings his phone up to his ear.

“Guys, I can’t deal with him anymore. We have to do something.”

✂︎

“I would like to, once again, reiterate that I am 100% against this idea.”

“Shut up, Namjoon.” Namjoon grumbles something about being unappreciated, but continues to speak up.

“It’s a bad idea, Chim. Logically, there’s only a small chance this will work out in our favour, and if it doesn't, I’m at least certain that Yoongi will dislocate all of our limbs until we’re a pile of human flesh.”

Jimin dismisses the thought. “Yoongi would never do that to us.”

“Of course he would,” Taehyung piped up. “Do you remember the time he dyed my bright pink because I made fun of Y/n for her stupid heart patterned boots and she cried?” 10 pairs of eyes slowly looked up at Taehyung.

“Well, that’s justified, we all want to murder you.” Taehyung gasps at Jin, who smiles back at him in return.

“And also, you were being a huge asshole that day and you totally deserved it. The pink hair didn’t even look that bad.” Tae smiles proudly at Jimin.

“That’s true, I fucking slayed with that pink hair. I kinda miss it, actually… ” He hums thoughtfully, scratching his chin. Jimin looks away and scoffs. Taehyung’s one of his oldest friends, but sometimes he gets a little too art-kid-college-dropout-hipster for him to handle.

“Do you guys think I should dye my hair pink again?” Nobody answers his question.

“Tae might be an absolute douchebag, but he has a point. We all know how protective Yoongi is over Y/n. Are you willing to potentially risk your life if this doesn’t work out?” Curse Namjoon for being logical. Maybe Yoongi killing him is a bit of a stretch, but he would make Jimin’s life a living hell if this operation ended up a failure.

Nevertheless, he continues to insist. “Okay, what’s the worst that could happen? I physically can’t stand Yoongi stomping around the dorm because he’s emotionally incapable of working out his feelings anymore! Yesterday he fell asleep in my bed. My bed, Namjoon. For such a tiny man, he’s really fucking heavy, I couldn’t move him and had to crash on the couch for the night. If this doesn’t end up working, Yoongi will just go back home and mope around all day long. Nothing different from what he’s doing now.”

“Um, what’s the worst that could happen?“ Namjoon asks incredulously. “How about if Yoongi finds out we tricked him, invites us to a murder mystery party, but then decides to kill us instead, and covers it up by burying our cold hard, deAD bodies in a highly unhygienic GRAVEYARD? What will you do if that happens, Jimin?“

“..........“

Nobody says anything to Namjoon, and the boys turn to Jimin once again. Shaking his head, and attempting to ignore... whatever the hell Namjoon just did, Jimin speaks.

“Oh come on guys!” He shakes his shoulders and lightly taps his foot against the ground. “Aren’t you guys tired of dealing with these two dumbasses too?” A murmur of agreement seems to go around the group, and Jimin breaks into a huge smile.

“Well, gee,“ Namjoon mumbles sarcastically. “Why don’t you just make a Namjoon Facebook hate group?“ Taehyung shushes him.

Beside him, Jin and Jungkook are exchanging money, clearly for some kind of bet. What the bet entails, Jimin has no idea, but he doesn’t have the time to question them right now.

“So, we’re in?” Everyone slowly begins to nod, all except Namjoon. Jimin beams, looking up expectantly at him. Namjoon bites his lip, and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Fine.” He grumbles out, not acknowledging Jimin’s shouts of joy. “If this goes wrong though, you bitches better be fucking responsible.”

“Well, I’m happy you’re all on board, because Hoseok is already here.” Jimin happily smiled up to find Hobi shuffling through the cafe doors, waving enthusiastically at him. He also decides to ignore the collective round of groans and ‘Jimin!’’s that went around the table.

“Why did you even ask us for our opinions if you already planned this out anyway?” Jungkook hisses, awkwardly smiling at Hoseok.

“Because you guys can never say no to me!”

“That’s only because of how fucking annoying you are, Chimmy.” Jin moves over in order to let Hoseok sit, even though he doesn’t look overjoyed at having to abandon his favourite seat.

“Well, all of you look super happy to see me.” Hobi jokes, immediately picking up Namjoon’s milkshake to take a sip.

“Sorry that you had to get dragged into all this bullshit, Hobi,” Namjoon says, pushing his milkshake towards him and sticking a second straw in the cup.

“No problem! I love pissing Yoongi off!” The group slowly stares at Hobi, who is still cheerfully sipping at Joon’s milkshake.

“Well,” Taehyung mutters. “What else do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Drowning yourself in lava?”

“Taehyung, play nice. Some people are just special. Anyways, here is the plan for Operation: Delusional Idiots Who Need To Make Out.”

“... Can’t we shorten that?”

“Yeah, seems pretty lengthy.”

“How about Operation: DIWNTMO? Like, pronounced as diwinteemo?”

“That’s… even worse, somehow.”

“Let’s just shorten it to Operation: Delusional Idiots.”

Six voices, in the middle of the busiest cafe on the school campus, suddenly shout out the words ‘Operation: Delusional Idiots!’, and a cheer goes around the table.

Onlookers wonder if they are referring to themselves.

✂︎

In hindsight, Namjoon was probably right. But Jimin can be extremely convincing sometimes, and Jin takes every opportunity to throw a party, so maybe Namjoon was fighting a lost cause in the first place.

He ponders what he wants his tombstone to say, while pacing around Jin’s apartment, where the party is already going on, full force. Maybe something like ‘Kim Namjoon (1994-2020) Murdered by Min Yoongi at a house party.’ Well, at least if he really does die tonight, it would be a good night for it.

Namjoon has many complaints about Seokjin. He could probably pull up a never ending list of the girls and guys who have come complaining to him for his friend’s mistakes, screaming about how Jin broke their heart, so and so. But, even he has to begrudgingly agree, Kim Seokjin throws one hell of a party.

It was one of those rare nights where you could actually make out the faint stars in the Seoul skyline, where the twinkling of the stars felt peaceful. Namjoon isn’t too much of a party person, but the monsters that he calls his friends go out every Friday night, pulling him along most of the time. He’s gotten used to just camping out on Jin’s fancy apartment balcony, (Seriously, what kind of college kid has a balcony?) avoiding the cheers, loud screaming and horribly unhygienic things that are happening inside.

Unfortunately, thanks to Park Jimin and his horrible ideas, Namjoon is currently wincing in the middle of a huge crowd full of sweaty bodies. He regrets not faking a fever while he could, but it was way too late now. His job tonight was to keep Y/n preoccupied.

“Remember Joonie, under no circumstances can Y/n see Yoongi before Hoseok completes the task. If she even sees a glimpse of him, she’s going to freak out and leave.”

His aforementioned target was nowhere to be seen. Namjoon is starting to worry that all their efforts will go to waste just because you decided it was another Friday to stay in bed and watch Disney movies on repea-

“wHOA!” Another sweaty hand pulls him out from the crowd, and Namjoon stumbles out, breathing heavily.

“Why aren’t you out on the balcony?”

“Why- what- oH! Y/n!”

You stare blankly at Namjoon, who is still rubbing his arm in pain.

“You came!” He says, with a look on his face that you can’t quite decipher.

“What do you mean, I came? Of course I came! It was you and Jin who insisted I come, right?” You dragged him over to the makeshift bar that Jin had set up hours ago on his kitchen island, pouring the both of you strong drinks. You’ll need it to get through the night.

“Right!” Namjoon awkwardly laughs and follows you into the kitchen, craning his neck to lock eyes with Jimin, who then gives him a thumbs up and leans over to whisper to Hoseok.

“Y/n,” He says, patting your back when you start coughing lightly from the shot you just downed. “We’re friends no matter what, right?”

“What are you talking about?” You cut him off, looking around Jin’s apartment. “Wow, it’s pretty empty today. Aren’t there usually like 50 people trying to get into one of these parties?” Luckily for Namjoon, who was almost sweating and about to cry trying to come up with an excuse to satisfy you, you ignored him and continued talking.

“Whatever, it’s fine. The less, the better.” You’re still looking around the crowds when you grab a hold of Namjoon’s shoulders, turning him towards you. “Yoongi’s not here, right?”

“What? hahahHHAHAHA nO of course not!”

“Oh okay,” You breathe out a sigh of relief. “I look terrible today, I would not be able to face him.”

“You look great today! What do you mean…!” Hopefully you dismiss the bead of sweat trailing down from his temple. It is pretty hot in here.

Apparently, it took multiple threats, to Yoongi’s coffee machine and lots of bargaining from Jimin to convince him to attend the party, but it seemed to have worked, considering that Namjoon could make out the dark figure of Yoongi, dressed in a black hoodie and ripped jeans in the corner of the room, chatting to Jungkook. His eyes, however, were riveted straight beside him, on Y/n.

“They really are idiots.” Namjoon muses to himself.

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

From the corner of his eye, Taehyung is waving his arms around trying to catch his attention. He mouths something that Namjoon can’t quite make out, so he just mouths a ‘what?’ back at him and shakes his head.

Namjoon can almost hear Taehyung sigh from across the room.

You’re still pouring your second shot, so you don’t notice as Hoseok walks slowly from the living room. Namjoon has actually never seen his friends more concentrated on anything in his life. Even Seokjin, who was, just a second ago, dancing with some guy that Namjoon isn’t even sure he knows, has now pushed the stranger away, completely fixated on Y/n, who is blissfully oblivious to the attention focused on you.

“Hey…!” Hoseok slowly slides in, real fucking smooth, if Namjoon could add, beside Y/n leaning on his forearm and smiling up towards her. Namjoon has to commend Jimin for the execution of Operation: Delusional Idiots. He’s honestly never seen Jimin put this much work into anything.

Hoseok was the only mutual friend they knew of that Yoongi was familiar with, but not Y/n. Jimin said that he had considered Jackson for a short while, before realising that Jackson can’t talk to girls for shit. At least Hoseok can force his thoughts into some semblance of order when he’s flirting.

“Oh! … Who,” You furrow your brows at Hobi, and Namjoon slowly backs away against the kitchen wall. “Are you?” Hobi laughs and spins around to face you.

“I guess you don’t know me. I’m Jung Hoseok,” He sticks his hand out and you tentatively shake it, making him grin. “I’m friends with Namjoon.” He points up at Namjoon, and Joon awkwardly smiles, waving back at the pair.

“Ohh,” You say, nodding. “Hi! Nice to meet you!” Sometimes Namjoon worries about you. You’re way too friendly and nice for your own good.

“I’m a dance major, actually. You can call me Hobi, by the way.” He smiles at you and finally lets go of your hand. “Are you sure we’ve never met before?” You shake your head, murmuring incoherently. “No, I didn’t think so. I’d remember you if we met.” You giggle and push him aside playfully, offering him a drink. Hoseok accepts it with a smile even wider than the last.

(Namjoon is now a little skeptical about Hoseok’s claims of flirting skill, but thankfully, you are, admittedly, a little stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff. You probably won’t even notice Hobi’s flirting with you at all.)

From the corner of the room, Yoongi’s deep gaze is now glaring deep into Hoseok’s back, but Hobi either seems to not notice or acknowledge it. He continues to stare at Y/n, laughing at whatever comes out of your mouth.

“You’re a dance major? That’s so cool!” You gush, and if he didn’t know you so much, Namjoon would think that you were flirting back. No, you were just that naive.

“- Thanks!” Hobi suddenly laughs at something that Namjoon didn’t manage to catch, but what he does catch is the look on Yoongi’s face when Hobi touches your forearm.

Even Jungkook, who was talking to Yoongi, gulped and took a step back. Jin gestures something to Jimin, and Jimin shoots back an enthusiastic thumbs up. He then shouts something over to Namjoon, but he can’t quite hear over the loud party noise.

Based on his own mediocre lip-reading skills, he either said ‘It’s going well’ or ‘Jungkook smells’ He’s thinking maybe it’s the first. Namjoon slides away from the kitchen to join Jin, who is happily watching all of this unfold from the sidelines.

“When do you think he’ll break?” Jin says, sipping on a bright blue drink that Namjoon doesn’t even want to know the contents of. He quickly glances over at Yoongi’s face, which is getting redder by the moment.

“Anytime now. His glass is about to explode from his grip.” Sure enough, Namjoon predicted correctly. A few moments later, Yoongi begins to stalk over to the kitchen, and Jin clinks his bright blue monstrous concoction against Namjoon’s glass. Grumbling, Jungkook also comes over and slaps a $10 dollar bill into Jin’s palm, scowling when Jin smiles and accepts it.

“Yeah, so a group of otters are actually called a romp, can you believe that- oomph!” Seemingly popping out of nowhere, Yoongi grabs a hold of your hand, glaring at Hobi.

“Yoongi!” You squeak out. Namjoon, that fucking liar! He left you all by yourself with a new friend and didn’t even bother telling you the love of your life was in the very same room? You didn’t even wash your hair yesterday night! Well, at least someone finally listened to what you have to say about otters… say, that was a bit unordinary, nobody else has ever been interested in your otter fun facts before-

Your trail of thought fades away when you look back up at Yoongi, who is still strangely looking at Hobi. “Um...” How is he holding you right now? He flinches away whenever you poke him on the shoulder, how is he holding your arm right now, completely unaffected? Oh.

Of course Yoongi wouldn’t touch you willingly. He just has to be stupidly noble and moral and save you when you’re alone with a man he isn’t familiar with. “Oh, ah… Yoongi! This is my new friend, Hobi! You have nothing to worry about, I was just talking to him about otters and- oh, nevermind. Anyways, you don’t… have… to… hold my hand anymore.” Well, at least you can save him from the embarrassment of holding your hand any longer.

“Yoongi, Yoon- Yoongi,” He doesn’t let go of your hand, even when you attempt to slip yours out of his. He seems to be gripping on, for a reason you can’t seem to comprehend. All he’s doing right now is maintaining eye contact with Hobi. Instead, he just glares into his eyes, repeating your words.

“Friends. Friends?”

“Yes, friends! Oh, ah, let me introduce you, um, Hobi, this is Yoongi, and Yoongi, this is-”

“Jung Hoseok. You call him Hobi?”

“Well, yes- oh! Do you two know each other, or?”

“Of course!” Hobi says, pouring another drink out. He stretches out his arm and offers the glass to Yoongi, but all he does is stare at the glass, not moving an inch. Still smiling brightly, Hobi just brought the glass to his lips, sipping on two separate drinks at a time.

“Long time no see, man! Yoongi, how’ve you been?” Yoongi, still clutching onto your hand, stayed silent for a while, all while Hobi continued to smile.

“I’m… fine.” He eventually chokes out.

“Yoongi, are you okay? You seem really-” You’re once again interrupted when Yoongi pulls you away, stomping out the kitchen. You lean backwards, yelling out a quick apology to Hobi, but he doesn’t seem affected in the slightest.

“Yoongi, you’re being rude! I said you don’t have to worry! Hobi is a new friend I met, he’s a friend of Namjoon’s, and we were just talking about otters-”

“Why are you defending yourself?” Boy, you just keep on getting interrupted tonight.

“Wha- huh?” Yoongi finally lets your hand go when he reaches the apartment door, shutting it closed, leaving it swinging in midair, even though he regretted it immediately after. You can still faintly hear the party going on through the door, but you had no time to process the fact that Yoongi just pulled you outside the party when he spoke up again.

“I said, why are you defending yourself like that? You have no reason to. You’re acting like I just caught you cheating.” Yoongi’s voice turns faint towards the end of his sentence, and he looks down at his feet, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets.

“I’m not defending myself! I’m just- I’m just, well, I-” You fumbled with your words, stuttering and fidgeting around with your fingers. Why were you defending yourself? It’s not like… Yeah, it’s not like you’re his girlfriend or anything.

“You can talk about otters to whoever you want. You might want to change up your flirting tactics though, not many people can put up with your strange obsession with otters-”

“hEY!”

“- Anyways, Hoseok’s, not a bad man. He’s pretty great, actually,” Yoongi admits. “He’ll treat you well. And he seems to be super interested in you, so… ” Yoongi clears his throat. You narrow your eyes and look down at his shuffling feet. This is probably the most Yoongi has ever spoken to you, in private, anyway. Why is he so unbothered? And why does that bother you so much? He doesn’t even care a little bit? Does Hobi really seem like such a great guy?

“You don’t care?”

“No, just, you know, don’t get hurt, or whatever. I’ll have to murder him… Or something.” You let out a small laugh, but he doesn’t seem to be joking.

“So, if I go straight back in and ask Hobi out, you wouldn’t mind?” You swear that a vein pops out from Yoongi’s neck, but perhaps it was just your imagination.

“Why would I mind?” He says, through clenched teeth.

“... You’re right. Why would you be mad? You don’t care about me anyways.” Something ticks in Yoongi’s jaw.

“What do you mean I don’t care for you?” He blurts out, just as you were about to head back through the apartment door.

“Oh no, please, it doesn’t bother me as much now, trust me. It’s fine, Some people just don’t… vibe with you, I get it! You don’t like me all that much, it’s okay! It’s not like you’ve hurt me or anything! You just don’t like talking to me because I’m kind of a dumbass, that’s alright. It’s okay to keep avoiding me. And again, I’m sorry for the whole elbow thing, you didn’t talk to me for like the next two weeks, and again, I totally understand, you know?” Yoongi stares at you, blinking in realisation.

“So… you mean to tell me that all this time, you’ve thought that… I didn’t like you?”

“Well,” Now you’re blinking confusedly along with him. “Isn’t that… why you run away everytime I come over to hangout with Jimin?” Yoongi brings his hands out of his pockets and buries his face in them, groaning.

“And that’s why you don’t like talking to me, right? And that one time I spoke to you and you went into the bathroom and screamed for like five minutes? … Do you not hate me?” A look of realisation floods his eyes, and Yoongi leans against the wall, slowly sinking down to the ground until he’s practically sprawled out on the floor. Staring aimlessly, he reaches up and grabs your hand again, pulling you down to face him. You let out a small squeak, but you crouch down on your feet, awkwardly looking at your right hand that Yoongi (!!!) is currently holding for the second (!!!!) time.

“Forgive me, Y/n.” He whispers, dropping his head onto your hand.

“Forgive you? What for? Yoongi this is a little dramatic, don’t you think? This is technically a public area, um, maybe you wanna go back to your dorm? I can call Jimin out here, I’m sure he’ll leave the party early, let me just-” He pulls you back and won’t let go, even when you try to stand and leave his grip.

“Yoongi!” Like a child clutching onto his mother, he just sits there and pouts, not letting your hand go.

“I’m sorry!” He wails, lightly kicking his feet up. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for being my emo self and avoiding you, I’m sorry for making you think I hate you when that really isn’t the case at all, I’m sorry for being an idiot and screaming whenever you touched me, I promise that none of that was ever your fault, because you must have felt so hurt and disgusted by me-” Yoongi suddenly looks up and glares at you.

“Yah! Why didn’t you just slap me!”

“Slap… you?”

“Yes, slap some sense into me, you idiot! I was so mean to you, why didn’t you just tell me you were hurt?”

“Well,” You said, smiling nervously. “I wasn’t hurt!”

“Yes you were!” He wails again. Some sort of strangled noise comes from the back of his throat. “You must’ve been really hurt, and I’m sorry! I don’t want you to be hurt! I don’t want you to date Hobi, and I don’t want to lose you, because I’m selfish, and I’m fucking stupid!”

You speechlessly opened your mouth and closed it again, like a fish. Well, that was a full 180. What is he talking about? Apologising? You had dealt with the uncomfortable small talk and denying your feelings for years only to have him apologise now? You finally manage to open your mouth and firmly say something, but what comes out of your mouth is certainly not what you planned to say.

“Min Yoongi!” You yelled and watched him slightly tilt his head up. “How could you say that now!?” His head is fully up now, gazing at you slightly dazed. “How dare you mess with my feelings for the past two years, just to completely, unexpectedly, blurt all of this out outside of Seokjin’s shitty house party?” You cry, slouching down onto the ground and sitting cross legged. Your unoccupied hand reaches up to your hair, frustratingly running your hand through your messy locks.

“... If it counts for anything, I think that your obsession with otters is really cute.” You sniffle, for no particular reason, and nod.

“... Does that mean you like me then?”

“Y/n,” Yoongi sighs, taking your other hand out of your hair and placing it into his own. “Isn’t that obvious, you fucking dumbass?”

“You’re kinda giving off mixed signals here.” Yoongi squishes your cheeks together in a brave act from an unusual burst of courage that he managed to somehow build up.

“Y/n,”

“Mmph- Yesh?”

“I like you. I like you a lot. I’m sorry for being a dumbass who couldn’t ask you out, and I’m sorry I had to do this at Seokjin’s ‘shitty house party’, but I’d really like it if you would go on a date with me sometime.”

Yoongi releases your cheeks from his grip when you stay silent for a small while, red slowly creeping up from the neck up to his ears.

“I mean, you know, only if you want to, it’d be fine if all of that was just, you know… ” Yoongi mutters, gesturing around randomly.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Yoongi.”

“Oh. Cool, that’s cool. That’s… yeah that’s cool.”

“Text me the details?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll, I’ll do- I’ll do that.”

You can hear a faint scream when you enter Seokjin’s apartment again, but instead of filling you with the insecure, horrible feeling like it once did, you just smile and giggle to yourself again. What you don’t seem to notice is Jimin, Jin, Joon, Tae, Jungkook and Hobi exchanging victorious glances across the room.

(About a week later, Yoongi took you to the zoo for your date. He slightly regretted that decision after you spent an hour making faces at the otters.)

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redhoodssweetheart · 3 years

Text

Things That Go Bump in the Night Part Two (Final)

Genre: Paranormal/Supernatural AU

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (more of a background relationship in this one since I focus on other members of the BatFam)

Requested: Yes @im–multi–fandom–trash (This was a sequel to a story they had requested for my 1.5K celebration. My request, all except the ones in the pinned post, are closed.)

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Swearing

Description: Mystic's is back and the rest of the BatFam are going to see what's so scary about it.

After the night's events, the four of you decided that none of you had won the money. It didn’t seem fair when all of you has freaked out around the same time. You found the twenty-four hour market, their candy already fifty percent off, and headed back to the manor.

No one else was up when you walked inside and to be honest you all were thankful for that. You weren’t sure you were ready to hear the teasing or have them ask you questions. Damian was definitely going to make fun of you for chickening out the way you all had. Tim might make a few jokes as well as the girls. Bruce probably wouldn’t partake in the teasing, but he might let out a chuckle here and there. Alfred was a wild card, he would either be on your side or he would join in on the teasing as well.

Several Disney movies later and the four of you were sufficiently filled with candy and tired after the events and headed off to bed.

Sometime later Jason woke up from a nightmare. He was back in the house and this time there was no escape. He just kept getting chased by that damn werewolf. But then he saw you, Dick, and Kori all trapped in a room together, more than one werewolf closing in on you all. When you had spotted Jason, you cried out for his help, but he had been unable to reach you.

He had sat up in bed and looked down to see you sleeping peacefully beside him. Letting out a breath he slid from the bed to go watch more Disney films until he could see the sun rising.

Dick was the first one awake and grunted at Jason on his way to the kitchen to get coffee. He returned with two mugs and passed one to Jason, “Couldn’t sleep after all, huh?”

Jason scrubbed his face with his free hand, “I just kept seeing that damn house. I still don’t get what that was.”

“Listen, I’m just trying not to think about it, period,” Dick told him as he picked up the remote and switched on Phineas and Ferb. “That place doesn’t exist in my mind.”

You and Kori came down at the same time and gave Dick and Jason tired smiles. You kissed Jason’s cheek, “What happened to you?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said as he pulled you into his arms. “Sorry about leaving you all alone up there.”

You shrugged, “I didn’t know until this morning so you’re fine.”

Slowly the family trickled in and Tim had to be the one that asked, “How was the haunted house?”

The four of you stiffened and Jason pointed a finger at Tim and said, “We don’t ever speak about what happened. Haunted House? We don’t know her.”

The others gave each other looks that clearly said, “What the fuck happened to them?”

Dick spoke next, “Listen some shit went down last night.”

You then said, “And needless to say we aren’t ever going back there.” Then you added, “Not like we could anyway since the place vanished on us.”

The others asked more questions, but the four of you refused to say any more about the topic. As expected teasing ensued, but you didn’t care. They could tease all they wanted, they didn’t know what manner of horrors you all had faced the night before.

The following year you had almost forgotten about the haunted house and were preparing for a night in with Jason, Dick, and Kori. The manor had been decorated to the nines and the four of you had a lineup of horror movies to watch and an array of snacks as well. It was going to be a perfect evening.

You were taking a break from the movies to prepare some dinner before the next movie when Tim, Damian, Cassandra, Stephanie, and Duke entered the kitchen looking like they were ready to go out. You arched a brow, “Where are you all going?”

“To that haunted house you all went to last year,” Damian said with a smirk.

The kitchen went deadly silent and everyone turned to look at the group of brave souls that dared enter that house of horrors. “I wouldn’t,” Dick said.

“Dick is right,” Kori had a worried look on her face. “That place is not safe.”

Duke just grinned, “Aw come on guys, we’ll be fine. I think you all are just playing it up for our sakes.”

Jason shook his head, “I’ve seen some shit man. I’ve died. That didn’t scare me nearly as much as this place did. Just trust us and stay the hell away from there.”

“We’re going,” Cassandra announced. “We’ll be back in a little bit.”

The door to the garage closed behind them and Jason snorted, “Their funeral.”

In the car Stephanie spoke up, “Are we really sure that they’re just messing with us? They all seemed legitimately scared of this place.”

Tim shook his head, one hand on the steering wheel as he followed the GPS’s directions, “I think they’re just full of it. We’re all vigilantes, what could this place possibly have that would scare them?”

The others were in agreement and after twenty minutes they arrived at their destination. The house, just like last year, looked like something out of a Scooby-Doo episode. Even a flash of lightning appeared as if trying to warn them to turn back now. As they piled out of the car they saw the ticket booth with the name MYSTIC’S written in fancy loops that resembled smoke above a small white-haired man.

He smiled as they approached, “Welcome! Here for the haunted house?”

“Yeah,” Duke smiled at the man, excitement welling up inside of him. He was ready to prove that you, Jason, Dick, and Kori were just a bunch of scaredy cats. “Five tickets please.”

Mystic handed over the tickets as each of them handed over the money. “Enjoy,” Mystic told them and then watched them climb the little hill toward the porch. “Hehe, this is going to be even better than last year!”

As the group made their way up the rickety old steps the door slowly swung open. The inside of the house was mostly dark, only illuminated by a few candles. Pausing on the steps they looked at one another like “who’s going in first?”. Damian, growing impatient, stepped over the threshold and the others followed suit. It looked like your typical haunted house on the inside, cobwebs in the corner, creaky floorboards, and a chill in the air.

“This is what they were afraid of?” Damian scoffed. “I’ve seen worse places than this.” Behind them the door slammed shut, rattling the pictures on the walls and causing them all to jump. Cassandra and Stephanie looked at one another and then moved closer together. Duke and Tim were trying not to breathe and Damian rolled his eyes. “A cheap scare,” he wasn’t impressed.

“Cheap you say?” A deep voice boomed. “Little boy these are no cheap tricks,” the laugh reminded them of Vincent Price’s from Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

Windows and doors started to bang open and shut and a deep growl had them looking toward one of the doors that was flinging itself open and closed. There in the darkness, they saw glowing red eyes and then a howl that sent shivers down all their backs, and goosebumps formed on their bodies. “Run!” Tim shouted, shoving the others forward.

They could hear the werewolf behind them, its nails digging into the hardwood floors and sending them skidding as they turned down a hall trying to get away. The paintings on either side of them seemed to come alive, laughing and stretching their arms out trying to grab them. “I’m starting to think that the others were exaggerating!” Duke shouted as he threw himself into a closed-door until it gave under his weight and opened.

The girls dashed through first followed by Damian and Tim, Duke taking up the rear this time and he flung tables in the werewolf’s way. They were approaching an open doorway and about to dash through it when a ghost appeared and let out a blood-curdling scream to which Stephanie shouted, “FUCK THIS SHIT!”

It would have been funnier if they hadn’t all been so terrified.

As soon as the ghost was gone they dashed through the doorway and slammed the door right before the werewolf crashed into it. They stood there for a moment trying to catch their breath. Duke pointed a finger at Damian, “You just had to provoke it didn’t you?”

“I didn’t know that the house was going to start going crazy on us!” Damian shouted at him. “This is way more than we bargained for.”

Cassandra shook her head, “Let’s just get out before that werewolf finds another way to us.”

There were a few more scares and they heard the werewolf stalking them, but they managed to find the exit and quickly shoved one another through it. When they were free it was a mad dash back to their car. But when they got inside and looked back toward the house and where Mystic had been everything was gone.

“No way,” Tim said as he studied the area. “There has to be an explanation for this.”

“I don’t care if there is or not,” Duke told him. “Just get us the hell out of here.”

They drove back to the manor, all of them silent and shaking with adrenaline. When they stepped inside they found that everyone was still awake and waiting for them. Jason took one look at their faces and knew that they had been through it. “Mmhmm, we told you didn’t we?” You, Kori, and Dick couldn’t find it in you to tease them back because you knew what they had been through.

“We don’t want to talk about it,” Duke said as he threw himself into a chair and covered his eyes with his arm.

Damian came over and curled up beside you, “Can we watch something happy?”

You wrapped your arms around him and said, “Sure kid.” Then you turned on a random comedy and spent the rest of the night there.

The night before Halloween and all through the manor not a creature was stirring except Batman and Alfred. “Alfred, do you really believe the kids were at an actual haunted house?” Bruce turned to him as he asked the question.

Alfred paused, “I don’t know sir, they seem awfully convinced that they were. I can’t see Master Damian acting like that if he didn’t actually believe that that house is haunted.”

“Should we go?” Bruce thought that maybe it was a trick of some kind. “I just need to see for myself.”

“I don’t see why not, Master Bruce.”

The following year it was much the same. You all decided to stay at the manor and have a horror movie marathon. No one brought up Mystic’s and no one suggested that they go and do it again. Duke, Cassandra, Tim, Stephanie, and Damian all still seemed to be a little shell shocked by their experiences, but were determined not to let it ruin their Halloween. Over the course of the year, you all had managed to get out of them bits and pieces of what had happened in that house, and from what you, Jason, Dick, and Kori had gathered it was a lot worse than your own visit.

It was nearly time for Bruce and Alfred to leave. They could hear the others watching the horror movies in the living room, the sound was faint, but there was a scream followed by laughter. Bruce couldn’t like he was curious about Mystic’s Haunted House and had to see it for himself. Alfred was also quite curious.

Bruce looked at the clock and saw that it was time to go and said, “Alfred, let’s take a trip.”

“Very well, sir,” he sat what he was doing down and the two of them left without informing the others.

The drive there was quick and the two men stepped out of the car and headed toward the ticket booth. Mystic was there waiting, “Welcome! Welcome! Here for the haunted house?”

“Yes,” Bruce passed over some money. “We’ve heard good things about this place.”

“Excellent! I do have the best haunted house in Gotham,” Mythic boasted. “Head on in and try not to die of fright.”

Just like the previous two years the door swung open and shut by itself and Bruce and Alfred merely looked unimpressed. When the werewolf appeared neither man ran from it which seemed to confuse the creature. Bruce simply looked at it and said, “Please, I’ve seen worse than you.”

They left the werewolf behind and traveled through the rest of the house. They didn’t jump at the screaming banshee. Didn’t blanche at the spooky voice. The hands reaching out of the paintings did nothing. “This is rather… tame, sir,” Alfred said as they entered a room covered in spider webs.

“I gotta say I’m a little disappointed,” Bruce responded, a smirk on his face.

When they found the exit Mystic was standing there just gaping at them, “How?!”

“I’ve taken care of children, nothing you do can scare me,” Alfred calmly responded.

Bruce snorted, “If you knew what I had to deal with on the daily then you wouldn’t be scared either. My son’s grandfather is literally called the Demon. You think your little wolfman can scare me?” Bruce shakes his head, “You are dead wrong.” They went to leave and Bruce paused and said, “Oh and one more thing,” before decking Mystic in the face. “I don’t want to hear about you being back next year, do you understand me? I won’t be so pleasant the next time around.”

Mystic was holding his nose and nodding, too afraid to say anything else as Bruce and Alfred got back in their car and drove off. When they arrived back at the manor they were instantly surrounded.

“Where did you go?” You asked. “Did you go to Mystic’s?”

The color seemed to drain out of everyone’s face as the two older men nodded. “Were you scared?” Cassandra questioned.

“Terrifying truly, nearly gave me a heart attack,” the lie rolled off of Alfred’s tongue. He didn’t want to make any of them feel bad for having been scared.

Bruce nods, “That werewolf nearly got us.”

Jason would narrow his eyes, “You’re lying.”

The rest of you demanded to know how they weren’t scared. And Bruce merely shrugged, “I have kids.” And walked away.

The following year Jason went back to the location where Mystic’s usually was and discovered that it was empty. There was no house. No ticket booth. No Mystic. Jason had gone alone, he hadn’t had plans of going in the house by himself. No amount of money in the world could have gotten him to go in again, but he had to see it for himself.

Plus he wanted to deck Mystic in the face.

When he discovered the house wasn’t there anymore he went back to the manor and found Bruce. “Hey, Bruce what’d you do to that guy Mystic?” Jason asked as soon as he found Bruce.

Bruce merely sipped on his coffee, “Oh is it not back in town this year?”

“No,” Jason said slowly, dragging out the syllables.

Bruce started to walk away, “Shame.”

Jason never did get that answer.

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 3 years

Note

I would like to call shenanigans about the complaints of Phineas being "out-of-character" in the specials and movies. He's a kid! And human! It makes his character more interesting and three-dimensional! He's allowed to be sad or mad when he's out of his comfort zone! I mean, everyone else is allowed to have a wide range of emotions, and it makes it all the more satisfying when he manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

I’m about to get real salty for a second (not at the show tho I’m getting salty at people who get salty at the show) so here’s a cut

Nothing annoys me more than people who think Phineas had no reason to get upset in at2d. Literally one of the last things 2D Doof said to him before Perry revealed that he was a secret agent was, and I quote, “You really think that he’s your pet, don’t you? WRONG! He’s using you! He’s just your cover!” Of course he was going to internalize that!

And that’s not just speculation, either. As soon as they get a moment to talk without the constant fear of, you know, getting arrested by an evil dictator’s robots, Phineas straight up asks him, “Was that evil guy right? Were we just a cover for you? Were you ever really our pet, or part of our family?” AND THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BREAK MY HEART BY FOLLOWING THAT UP WITH “Well, apparently not, because you didn’t trust us enough to tell us!” Like? 2D Doof’s words overshadowed the entire reveal. Of course that was going to impact how Phineas reacted to it, and it blows my mind that people think he should have just accepted it with a smile like nothing happened.

And that’s not even getting into the fact that Perry got them into that mess in the first place. I don’t even think I can say it better than Phineas so I’m gonna use another quote from the movie because I am apparently writing an actual angry essay right now with evidence from the text movie lmao. When they’re still at DEI and Heinz clarifies that he’s an evil scientist, Phineas turns on Perry and says, “You just sat there and let us help an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension, and you did nothing to stop us?” (With, of course, the caveat that yes, Perry peed on the couch, but “That wasn’t enough!”)

~~ taking a brief break from angry ranting in the middle of the night to add that I definitely don’t think Perry was in the wrong here. I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking about at2d because a) I’ve seen it so many times and practically have it memorized (thus why I threw in all these quotes off the top of my head lol) and b) I’m writing a fic where Perry can talk (it’s Bitch Shut The Fuck Up on Wattpad and AO3 if anyone’s in the mood for sassy, swearing Perry) and I’m going to start incorporating episodes once summer starts in the fic so I lowkey spent most of my nights in bed thinking about what Perry’s going to say and how it would change things if he could explain himself and would he even try to or would he let the kids think he betrayed them if he thought it would keep them safe so anyways I have a lot of feelings but tl:dr Phineas has ever reason to be upset and I don’t blame him and neither should you ~~

And then, of course, there’s the Marvel crossover and, like, he was right? He was 100% right? Candace was too star struck to help, and it was too important for them to take any risks. And you make a really good point with your comment about being out of his comfort zone. I don’t think there’s ever a time that Phineas is more out of his league than in the Marvel crossover. He really is just a kid, and he only got roped into this because he just happened to put his space station in the wrong place at the wrong time and the Avengers made the wrong assumptions. The fate of the entire world depended on them, and when Candace repeatedly messed things up, Phineas had every right to be upset -- and the fact that he was undoubtedly really stressed out because, again, the fate of the entire world, only gives him more of a reason to snap. It’s not out of character; his character had just never dealt with anything like that before.

I mean, of course, there’s Phineas and Ferb Save Summer, which I think was a more mild example of Phineas getting angry, but it’s similar enough to the Marvel crossover that I feel like I need to bring it up, if only to point out the differences. In the Marvel crossover, the world was actively being threatened by a group of actual supervillains. In PnF Save Summer, technically LOVEMUFFIN is also threatening the safety of the world by trying to plunge it into an eternal ice age, but Phineas doesn’t know that which is half the fun of the episode. Like, they don’t know why they can’t move the planet back into place, just like LOVEMUFFIN doesn’t know why they can’t move it further away.

That’s not really the point here, though; that’s just me having unnecessary opinions on everything. I don’t really view this one as Phineas snapping, but Buford does make that joke about how it must be a special episode because Phineas is yelling at his sister again so I’m guessing there are probably people who think it’s ooc which means naturally I gotta bring it up (and, of course, I wanted to reference the meta joke because I love it).

Phineas built those thrusters. He knows how they work better than probably anyone but Ferb. When Candace says she’s going to overwork them, of course Phineas is going to tell her not to, and he’s going to be urgent about it, but he doesn’t yell. And when Candace accidentally ruins the thrusters, Phineas doesn’t yell at her then, either; he just tells her how to fix it (and, when she’s too scared to go into the attic, his hologram is there to cheer her on). It’s just? So? Wholesome? And “wholesome” is basically Phineas’s entire character, so that fits really well.

And the only other one I can think of off the top of my head is Summer Belongs To You (and it’s entirely possible he’s supposedly “out of character’ in other specials too but it’s 11:20 at night and my brain is fried lmao). “Get on the trike!” is literally one the most iconic lines in the show. Even Dan said it’s one of his favorites because it wasn’t necessarily a funny line, it was funny because it was Phineas saying it, and the fact that so many people remembered it was that it seemed so out-of-place coming from Phineas, which meant they had developed the character well (and if anyone happens to have the video -- I think it might have been an old tiktok but there have been way too many for me to look through -- hmu bc it was such a pure moment). But tbh even though the yelling was “out of character” in the sense that it made for a good joke, I don’t think his actions were out of character at all? Phineas sets crazy goals all the time, and he always achieves them. They’d put so much work into it so far, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste when the end game was right there. He was exhausted, presumably both physically and mentally (I mean, we didn’t see him sleep at all, you know?) and he wanted to get home and he wanted to accomplish his goal and he wanted to do it as a family (because 🎵 friends are also family 🎵) and he wasn’t going to let Candace ruin that, which I personally think is adorable because technically Candace was never even part of the bet and she didn’t have to make it home with them for them to win so Phineas easily could have ditched her and made her find her own way home but he wanted her to see it through with them and I just have a lot of feelings 😭

OKAY last paragraph because I know no one really cares and it’s getting late and I have an 8:30 class tomorrow and should probably be in bed by now. I also like the point you made about how that makes it more satisfying when he manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self. I don’t know if anyone considers it out of character given that it’s really supposed to be a powerful moment purely because it’s so out of the ordinary (although I guess I could say the same for all these scenes) but god, when Phineas breaks down on the island in Summer Belongs To You, it’s such a testament to his character because he had managed to push through so much because he was determined to get home but it also proves that he does have a breaking point. I mean, we see it in all the other scenes, too, but those are directed at people. This is purely situational, which I think hits harder and it’s why that was the first one I thought of when you mentioned pushing through. All these scenes are a testament to his character, really, and basically the moral of the story is that I completely agree with you, Phineas deserves to have his character explored as much as Candace and Heinz have theirs explored, and that I clearly have way too many opinions and should really learn to tone it down fjksdhfjka

#pnf #phineas flynn #across the 2nd dimension #at2d #phineas and ferb: mission marvel #mission marvel #marvel crossover #phineas and ferb save summer #pnf save summer #summer belongs to you #all these tags and i still know that it won't show up if i ever try to find it lmao #look i have an ask

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imaginedigimon · 3 years

Note

I know the Adventure 01 & 02 kids have canon adulthoods already, but do you headcanon any of them with different jobs and/or futures? Or just some cool side hobbies when their older?

I’M SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I CANNOT EXPRESS WITH MERE WORDS HOW SORRY I AM

But you know, I think about this a lot. When I saw the epilogue of 02 the first time, I just kinda took it. But then, I’ve always been more a canon lover than anything. Maybe that’s because I’m just thankful that the media I consume exists, so I like most if not all of what it does.

Enough about me and my strange relationship with the idea of canon.

Adventure Kids as Adults Headcanons

Tai [Taichi]

Honestly, I don’t think Tai would have played soccer all his life

The diplomat thing, at least after watching Tri, kinda works for him to be honest

I mean yeah my bae isn’t the smartest, but

Where was I going with this?

Oh, yes, anyway, he probably would’ve become a gym teacher or something

I imagine he’s great with kids and wants to be a lot like Nishijima, except without the whole secret agent-y bit

He started doing calligraphy in honor of Nishijima sometime after college ;-;

Matt [Yamato]

Is it cliche to say I honestly thought Matt was going to become a rockstar, if not one of those cool rocker guys who works in some record store or something and turns out to be really wise?

No I’m not thinking about Phineas and Ferb wdym

I’d like to think that even if he’s not still playing the bass like the god he is he gives lessons to others

Also he collects rocks

That’s important

Sora

Even I’m not sure why on Earth she’d be a fashion designer, fabulous as she is

But anyway, if she didn’t do that, she probably would have followed in her mom’s footsteps in... whatever it is she does [I’ve never been clear on that to be perfectly honest]

I think she definitely would have married Matt still as much as my 13-year-old self cries over it because I’m married to Tai, so...

Although I was enlightened to the idea of Sora and Joe some months ago during Takari Week so perhaps---

ANYWAY I can actually see Sora babysitting a lot or being the go-to friend for caretaking needs, whether it’s pets or children

Izzy [Koshiro]

We all know his occupation makes perfect sense

We wouldn’t have it any other way

He still makes Tentomon very very worried (they don’t mention it in the show but we all know it’s true)

He lowkey goes drinking with Sora’s dad and Joe’s brother all the time and nobody’s able to comprehend why he won’t go drinking with the other DigiDestined

Legend has it that he researches different brands of alcohol every now and then

(It’s actually every day)

Mimi

Not that she wouldn’t do a cooking show, but

Can you imagine if she had become an idol?

LIKE IMAGINE

She just goes up to Tai or Matt or all them on the street and people are like “YOU KNOW MIMI” and they’re like “uh yeah we’ve known her for X years”

Palmon joins her on stage too and looks fabulous

She does the thing Alec Benjamin does and goes up to people on the street and sings to them

And of course you can’t say no to Mimi she’s a legend

Joe [Jou/Jyou]

Again, his occupation made sense

I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way

But he doesn’t make as big a fuss about the doctor thing with his son

Watch his son be a delinquent I swear---

Joe somehow got really invested in crime shows

I wish I could explain how

Oh, and also---he found House

WHO LET HIM FIND HOUSE?

T.K. [Takeru]

I don’t think about it much, but I support his career as a writer

Mostly because I am a writer myself

Anyway, I think he probably did more than the novels, like some screenplays for TV shows and movies

He won some nice awards for that stuff

But you know what he really loves

Satanic rituals

....

I WAS KIDDING mostly

Kari [Hikari]

CHANGE MY MIND, SHE IS THE BEST TEACHER EVER

I LOVE HER OK

She is so loved by her students it’s heartwarming

We love teachers who get the respect they deserve

Her side hobby is making a better paper airplane than any kid in her classes

I...

I wish I knew why she tried so hard, but

Kari

Davis [Daisuke]

I am not about to take his dream from him

But I propose that it wasn’t just noodles

Oh no

It was also other delightful dishes found in carts like his (I’m not good at Japanese culture, so I’m not about to list some)

He’s so wealthy he goes to hang out with Oprah a lot

Somehow he’s started reading like all of the Oprah’s Book Club stuff

I just

I don’t know why it took this long to get him to read

Yolei [Miyako]

I greatly respect women who are willing to stay home all day with three children (like seriously HOW DO YOU DO IT), BUT

I think that’s just not very Yolei

She definitely joined Izzy a few times for his thing

Maybe she became a professional hacker

Like Garcia in Criminal Minds

So, yeah, she’s a big help to Ken, which makes sense

I bet Sora knows more about their kids than they do at this point XD

Cody [Iori]

HE IS JACK MCCOY FROM LAW AND ORDER CHANGE MY MIND

So anyway

I’d also like to think he’s like the dad of a friend of mine--the type of lawyer who represents children in tough situations

Social justice is just his thing, you know

When he’s not being the best lawyer in the world, he is rewatching Legally Blonde over and over and over again

He’s even watched Red, White, and Blonde and that spinoff Legally Blondes a thousand times

Let the man have a hobby

Ken

You cannot tell me he didn’t become the star of a reality show

You know “Cops” or like the Shrek parody of it from Shrek 2 “Knights”? Ken’s in something like that

But it’s all just antics between him and Stingmon

It’s really funny because they’re the best detectives but you can’t tell at first glance

We love them anyway

He still plays soccer, but he actually prefers coaching recreational leagues of it

---------

I don’t know where a lot of these came from @_@

It is 2 am, but I am tired, so I will finish my last backlogged request tomorrow (hopefully... I have some things I promised myself I’d do)

Thanks for stopping by!

#digimon headcanons #digimon adventure 01 #digimon adventure 02 #digimon as adults #i would tag all their names but no #never again #sometimes i wonder if these headcanons are just me being a crackhead or---

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galaxina-the-pyro · 3 years

Note

For the character list thing either Phineas or Isabella!! If you want of course

You’re making me choose between two of my favoritest characters (sans Doofenshmirtz, but yeah).

You cruel bastard.

I’m gonna choose Phineas because that was the first name on the request - but someone BETTER give me Isabella, or I swear to the heavens...

Favorite Thing About Them: Not many people talk about this, but Phineas is one insane individual considering the crazy things he’s willing to build and blatant disregard of consequences. Sure, he’s nice, and I love him, but I also like how under all that niceness, and there is A LOT, is the capabilities of being a supervillain. He manipulated a grown man into helping him with his parents’ anniversary through song, he and his brother created a quantum vortex that sucked up all of reality just for what I can assume is just because they COULD. And he has a BRILLIANTLY sadistic sense of humor when you really think about it (“In case we capsize, your seat cushions can function as a headstone.”). His brand of optimism, of course, is also a plus for me - though I love Milo, Phineas just feels so much more genuine when he raises the spirits of everyone around him. I feel like in comparison to everyone else his comedy is overshadowed due to how, ironically, subtle he is as a character, but that’s honestly part of the beauty of it. He has the same energy as that one child who’s smiling at a camera while there’s a burning building behind her - I don’t know how that’s even possible when Milo exists, but yeah.

Least Favorite Thing About Them: I kinda sorta really wish that Phineas showed more negative emotions more often - we know he HAS them, and that he’s even shown signs of having bouts of rage or sorrow under the right amount of pressure, but he never really goes beyond that? One of my favorite episodes is “The Klimpaloon Ultimatum”, and that’s mainly because it’s one of the rare non-special episodes, if not the only one, that has him mostly react in ways he normally wouldn’t - what I would GIVE to have a special or something where Mittington Random came back for revenge, I feel like he’s such a fun foil for Phineas especially; aside from 2D-Doofenshmirtz, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Phineas show a character so much disdain.

Favorite Line: “You know what I like about our friends? We say things like "We're gonna douse you with ant pheromones" and they're just like "Okay, whatever". They're so cool!” [Runner up is: “Not yet Ferb.” and “I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.” as well as, “If the molecular-separator doesn’t just disappear when this is over, we should really consider destroying it.” and just...so many other lines. Phineas has such. Good. Lines.]

brOTP: Phineas and the gang - I love them all so very much. But if we’re gonna choose specifics, to me it’s a tie between Ferb and Isabella - Ferb is just a great partner for Phineas and they’re just awesome brothers, and Phineas and Isabella just care so deeply for each other it’s hard not to like them.

OTP: If you follow me, you know my OTP is Phinabella. To me it’s one of the best ships, and is my absolute favorite. It makes me so very happy, and I love it very much, and I will fight anyone who tries to rip it away from me.

nOTP: Phinerb, Phindace, Doophin, Phinerry...just...dear lord, why do they exist?

Random Headcanon: He gets offended whenever you use his nose for some kind of purpose other than when it’s intended for; there ARE exceptions to this rule, such as decorating him like a Christmas Tree. Using Phineas’ nose as a tool (specifically a scythe or a weapon) is a big no-no, however, and it’s probably the easiest way to get him in a bad mood.

Unpopular Opinion: Breaching into headcanon territory but I just CANNOT believe that Phineas is a school-person. I’m not saying he’s stupid, because academic pursuits don’t necessarily make one the smartest person in the room, but like, I see someone like Phineas being a C-student. Like, someone like Phineas who is absolutely in love with Summer just cannot be good at school no matter how smart he is - he seems like someone who’d hate the conformist ways that school is and would either just not pay attention to anything, would outright go against instructions (not out of rebellion but because he just thinks there’s better way to do things - what’s the point of “showing your work”, for example, if you already know the answer?), and would definitely doodle in class. Again, he’s NOT STUPID - far from it. And in the right circumstances, he could probably ace those classes (aside from Grammar, I have a suspicion that he’s not great with Grammar). But my heart tells me that he and school just do not get along and probably never will (I’m totally down with Phineas kicking college in the pants though, @honorable-asshole. AND him having ADHD, because, c’mon, he totally has it at least to a degree)

Song I Associate With Them: “Happy” by Pharrell Williams

Favorite Picture of Them:

#phineas flynn #phineas and ferb #pnf #ask game #character ask

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moderngirlmp3 · 3 years

Note

oooh fun story!! my succulent does actually have a name, it's based off of phineas and ferb. my siblings made it a little name card and everything, and it says "planty the potted plant", because in one episode doofenshmirtz uses a plant to replace perry (yes this is childish no i do not care because it was funny at the time!)

AAAAHHHH DUDE. BESTIE. i absolutely LOVE that. "libraries hold communities and infinities and stories"???? insanely poetic. incredible i want that quote written on my wall in some fancy typography font.

that's so valid of you, and !!! moo sounds like an awesome fake plant. ivy string lights!! those seem dope i hope you can hang them up at some point!

!!!!! this. so extremely this. there's just So Much to do, and not nearly enough time in the day, in the night, in the world, even if i filled every hour and every minute with something meaningful.

rings my beloved!! i want to get a kit/set/thing to make my own rings because !! why not, and rings are awesome yknow. (it really isn't a cactus anon ask until i say "yknow" at least once /hj)

ooh i want to stop procrastinating on my hw. it could be just one day!! i just need to know that i am physically capable of doing it. one day, absolutely no procrastination, just productivity. something big would be reorganizing my room, or telling my parents about my pronouns (will it ever happen? ..... no but we can pReTeND) i don't mind those kinds of icebreakers!! what is rapidly becoming my least favorite icebreaker is "let's go in a circle and say your name, your pronouns, and [insert whatever here] :)))" like. do you see how ironic and cruel the pronouns thing has backfired isTG-

hmm uh. maybe matilda, if that counts? that was the coolest book, and the amount of time i would spend staring at a pencil to try and make it float is minorly shameful fsdkljf.

do you prefer a laptop keyboard, or the older and more clicky pokey ones? what's something big that you really want to do, whether it's now or sometime in your life? favorite pattern (stripes, checkered, polka dots, etc)? and what is the current bane of your existence? - 🌵

PLANTY THE POTTED PLANT. SO TRUE. I READ THAT IN THE (a platypus??) "PERRY THE PLATYPUS" voice and im not sure if i was supposed to do that or not but. i did !! so. also phineas and ferb my beloved <333

RIGHT the string lights are such a vibe i think i might try to put them up this weekend or something.

"in the day, in the night, in the world, even if i filled every hour and every minute with something meaningful." no okay because those are such words. literally EXACTLY. time is infinite but we are limited and so it will never be enough. fuck.

DUDE YES. RING SET. DO THAT. that would honestly be so cool ??? lmao the yknow is sooo iconic of u actually <3

"i just need to know that i am physically capable of doing it" YEAH okay that's. that's a mood though. if i knew i could then maybe that would give me more motivation to try. or it would make me feel guilty. but either way. oh dude the pronouns thing is a mood yeah im really sorry though :( i hope u have some irls that know ur pronouns at least

oh dear GOD the fucking PRONOUN ICEBREAKERS. im not about to be an enby after fucking. emily and katie and danielle and sarah and maddy with a y have all done their lil she/her/hers shit. fuck you. i swear im different pronouns with every teacher HSGJSFSLKDFJ

dude matilda DEFINITELY counts oh my god !! that book my beloved <33

okay here's the thing. the older ones are cool in theory but.. my fingers are too short to use them properly so i always accidentally slip and click the wrong key. help.

something really big i wanna do is a cross-country road trip with my friends. seriously i'm telling you i have such a thing for road trips and i know in practice it wouldn't be nearly as fun but,, ,,,,,,, i need it.

my favorite pattern is plaid i think. flannels my beloved <3

the current bane of my existence is definitely the athletics requirement at school. please just let me read my books and procrastinate my homework i don't want to run the mile and get all sweaty and not be able to breathe properly for half an hour afterwards.

what's the current bane of your existence? do you have any favorite subjects in school? what would you ideally like to study (it could be anything)? have you read any classic literature and did you like it ?? what's your favorite pair of shoes?

#plu answers #🌵anon #radio silences

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littleogreboii · 4 years

Text

NYA! KAI FORGOT TO DEFROST THE CHICKEN! Chapter 3: everyone’s worried about kai’s singular braincell

First | Previous | Next

Summary: Lloyd questions his life choices as a 16 year old, runaway dropout. Kai is pulling ideas out his ass for his Buzzfeed articles, which means he's doing great. Nya is getting sick and tired of how incompetent her mentor is.

Chapter Summary: Kai plots his flat's demise and nearly everyone is horrified.

AN: Featuring me dodging writing about science. Once again, swearing.

AO3 | FF

Kai isn’t going to admit to being in a rut. It’s only been 3 weeks and it’s not like he hasn’t been writing during that time. He’s just gotten worse at writing and most creative geniuses do so from time to time. Like it could be argued that Fall Out Boy got worse. Of course, if he said that out loud, Cole would beat him up and Cole is 250lbs of pure muscle. So, Kai will keep his thoughts to himself. Especially when he knows that if Cole's upset, Zane and Pixal will not hesitate to jump him. No instead, Kai is going to see if there are any fruits and vegetables that can conduct electricity. He might possibly burn down the flat in the process. But first, he needs to acquire some fruit.

Nya doesn’t seem to like the store closest to them, but Kai isn’t willing to make the trek into the city. Besides, Kai knows Nya tends to shop there anyway. She’ll claim it’s because she doesn’t have a motorbike. He’ll claim it’s because of her inability to use a bus. And he’s older and wiser.

He nods at the staff as he passes them. He doesn’t like most of them, but it can’t hurt to be polite. He grins at the realisation, Lloyd is on till today. He only knows Lloyd vaguely, recognising him as Garmadon’s son, but the kid’s a laugh. Once you get past his customer service smile that is. He tosses as much fruit and vegetables in a basket as possible. Then, he marches to the till.

Lloyd frowns as he sits up. “Do I even want to know?”

Kai begins unloading his basket. “I’m seeing if there are any foods that can conduct electricity.”

“I’ll listen out for fire trucks.” Lloyd begins scanning items. “Do you need a bag?”

Kai glances about and pats his pocket. “Yes.”

Lloyd pulls out a couple bags. “Don’t you have some job to do besides blowing up food?”

“I’m doing this for my job.” Kai beams.

Lloyd inhales. “I quit.”

“Nooooo…” Kai pretends to cry. “Then who will scan my shopping?”

“One of the others.” Lloyd sighs as a cucumber fails to scan.

“Who’s even on today?” Kai begins tossing his items into bags.

Lloyd thinks. “Chen and Gene, but I think Sally will be here soon.”

“Oh god no. You can’t leave me to those two.” Kai pales. “They’d both give me the dirts.”

“Considering what you’re buying, I wouldn’t blame them.” Lloyd squints at the screen. “That’ll be $30.38.”

“Nice.” Kai pulls his card out the back of his phone and shoves it in the card machine. He taps his foot while he waits. Then, he enters his pin and goes to pull his card out.

Lloyd pushes Kai’s hand away. “Don’t. Not yet.” Kai frowns. “Now you can.” Lloyd’s barely got the words out before Kai yanks his card from the machine.

“Thanks kiddo!” Kai calls out as he practically runs out of the store.

Kai makes it home and is pouring his shopping onto the kitchen counter when his phone rings. He grimaces as he sees who it is. Time to whip out some grade A lies.

“Sup’ Zane.” He answers.

“Nya wanted me to make sure you weren’t planning on burning down the flat.” To most Zane’s voice comes across as rather monotonous, but Kai knows how to read the deeper meanings. Zane’s voice raises slightly towards the end of the sentence and Kai has to bite down a scoff. They’re finding this funny. Little shit. Well, tall shit as Zane’s teetering on the edge of 6’2.

“No.” Kai pauses, forcing his voice lower. “I would never do such a thing. Besides, I’m 22. I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Really? I seem to remember you gassing out your flat last month.” And Kai fights back a smirk at this because that was a good experiment. It made an even better article. He might even call it his magnum opus.

“That was ages ago! I’ve learned and matured since then.” Kai defends. No, he definitely hasn’t learnt or matured since then.

“Again, it was last month, Kai. And before then, there was a time where you smashed a window.” They make a compelling argument.

But, they made one mistake. “I rescind that! That ordeal was Jay’s fault and you know it.”

“I’m sorry. Were you not the one who volunteered your flat for the occasion?” And it’s Zane’s victory. Again. Make that 71 wins in a row for Zane.

“Ok, you got me there.” Kai concedes. “But, I’m not planning on burning down the flat so you have nothing to report to Nya.”

“You’re wrong. I can report to Nya that you admit you’re a child.” God, Kai needs new friends.

“What? I never said that!” He complains.

“Yes, but it was implied from your admittance to such immature acts.” Kai can practically hear the smug rolling off of Zane.

“That’s not what- Ughhhh- I hate you!” He hangs up before Zane can beat up his ego anymore. Kai stands and glares daggers at his phone for a few minutes. His phone lights up a couple times with texts from Zane, but he ignores them. Zane’s probably just teasing him some more anyway. Instead, he contemplates his plan of action. He needs equipment to test the food’s conductivity with. He could raid Nya’s room, but he doesn’t fancy being yelled at today. Pixal would report him to Nya. Cole definitely would not have the equipment for it and Kai doesn’t fancy hearing about how annoying Lou is. Skylor’s currently out of town. Echo would be in school at the moment and is too loyal to Zane. Which means it’s going to have to be Jay. This will be fun. He dials Jay and waits. It doesn’t take long as Jay is near permanently glued to his phone.

“Hey Kai, what’s up? Wait let me guess. You wanna blow something up? Nya’s being annoying? You can’t ask Zane because they’ll tell Nya?” Jay rattles off immediately.

“I’m not gonna blow something up. Why do you all think so little of me? I’m great.” Kai defends. “Anyway, it’s more I need some equipment.”

“What you doing?” Jay raises his voice to imitate Isabella from Phineas and Ferb.

“Never do that again.” Kai deadpans. “And I’m testing the conductivity of fruit and veg.”

“Oooh can I film?” Jay questions.

“No. I’m doing this for my job, not for you to post it on youtube.” Kai wishes Jay didn’t have an urge to try and record everything. Kai’s not even sure what the main point of Jay’s channel is by this point.

Jay whines. “Can I at least watch?”

“Nah,” Kai pauses long enough to hear Jay’s disappointment. “I’ll probably need your help. We all remember my grades.”

“YES!” Jay screeches into the phone. “I’ll be right there! Just let me get dressed!” And Kai’s struck with the realisation that he’s probably going to regret this.

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star-knight-barnes · 5 years

Text

Phineas and Ferb meet Tony Stark

Ok so hear me out. Now, considering that P and F is made by disney and Marvel is owned by Disney I'm going to proceed by considering that this is all just one massive universe.

P and F supposedly live in Danville part of the tri state area which is mentioned I the show several times more well known as the greater New York City area, that contains the states New York New Jersey and Connecticut.

P and F started in 2007, a year before the first Iron Man. But that doesn't mean the two don't know him. Arguably Tony Stark is THE technological genius of the Century, long before Endgame came out. These kids would have known him and grew up with a desire to invent because of him. I'm sure of it. And it certainly would have gotten amplified when Tony becomes Iron Man.

And they definitely send him fanmail and tell him about their inventions

Now just imagine!

Jarvis: Sir there appears to be a Roller Coaster being built in the Flynn-Fletcher resident in Danville. It seems that two ten year olds are responsible for it.

Tony: What oh that's nice J. Send them some materials. Pepper tells me its good to encourage interest in STEM.

Jarvis: There's a 100ft tree house fight taking place in the Flynn-Fletcher resident

Tony: uh huh. Sure. Tell the kids they need to look out for traffic when they cross the roads. Ask them if they need some more reading materials. They really like the electrical engineering books I sent last time.

Jarvis: Sir it appears one of your favourite bands, Love Handle, has made a comeback. A concert is taking place in Danville at the residence of you're two favourite inventors' for their Parents' Anniversary. Perhaps Miss Potts and you would enjoy the evening?

Tony: Firstly Jarvis, that is classified information that does not leave my lab. If Rhodey found out I liked Love Handle he'd never let me live it down.

Jarvis: Noted, Sir.

Tony: it's probably fake. Who am I kidding of course it is. The kids probably just hired some look alikes. Love Handel making a comeback? SHIELD having a side branch that trains animals to be secret agents and fight super villains is more believable than Love Handle getting back together J.

Jarvis: sir I'm inclined to inform you that you have been up for 48 hours. A break might be ideal before you pass out from exhaustion.

Tony: later

Jarvis: the Flynn-Fletchers are inquiring if you would like to have a break in their recently constructed backyard beach. Shall I inform them that you will be unable to join?

Tony: (already asleep)

Jarvis: there's a chariot race taking place downtown. It's quite the spectacle.

Tony: yeah and Heinz ' all my creations have the word inator at the end' Doofensmirtz finally got his inventions to work. That guys like a bag of cats I swear

Tony eventually realises that wait this is all real and he immediately puts on the suit and goes to the Flynn Fletcher house while they're in the middle of making a spaceship. And he has to do a triple take.

Tony: Aren't you two a little young to be making a spaceship ?

Phineas: Yes, yes we are. We get that a lot.

Tony, smiling knowingly: So did I, when I was your age. Scoot over. I wanna see what you're working on.

Candace: Mom!! Phineas and Ferb are making a spaceship with Tony Stark!!

#of course tony would offer then interships at si afterwards.#tony stark #iron man #phineas and ferb #marvel #disney

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ascreamingstrawberry · 6 years

Text

Friends

Summary: “He wasn’t happy, wasn’t sure if he felt any better, but at least his friends were here with him.” - Dee has a rough night, so his friends help him out.

June 24th : Friendship, June 25th : Roceit, June 26th : Loceit, June 27th : DLAMP, June 28th : Patceit, June 29th : Anxceit, June 30th : FamILY

Pairings: None, like I swear they’re all platonic.

Word Count: 1,462

Warnings : sympathetic deceit! mentions of gender/sexuality questioning, mentions of not eating, angst (lots of it). mentions of the band Bowling for Soup (yeah that one from Phinease + Ferb)

Notes : Ah this is a vent piece, whoops. Also suck at titles hep. If you find Good/Sympathetic Deceit triggering or you just don’t like it, don’t read. Leave a like, a reblog, message, and reply! I love hearing your comments.

It wasn’t uncommon to find Dee with his legs stretched out on the floor, back leaned up against to his desk, fighting the voice in his head that berated him. There was that little part of him that wanted to scream, wanted to tug at his hair, to kick his feet and demand that things go his way. He slipped his hands up in between the strands of his brown hair that he hadn’t washed today, resisting the urge to scratch at the clothes made his skin itch.

Dee didn’t want to care about what it meant to be a he, what it meant to feel wholeheartedly. Dee didn’t want to resist the twitch in his hands every time he watched one of his friends shower another in affection, celebrating each other’s uniqueness. Dee didn’t want to think about the difference of attraction to romance and romantic attraction, or the long list of broken hearts behind him that he tried to pass off as miscommunication. Or not finding the one yet.

He wanted to sleep, and never wake up. Stay in dreamland where things were either so fuzzy and hazy that he felt soft as cotton candy, or they were horrifying, the worst he’s ever felt. But at least he could clearly recall the fear embedded in every bone of his body, keeping him from speaking or moving. At least there he could feel.

Dee’s shoulders shook, twitching along with his stomach as he cried. The tears didn’t even run, damn things. They just stayed collected at the edges of his eyes, blurring his vision until he attempted to wipe them away with the back of a shaky hand. His mouth twisted up, and he turned a little to the left to avoid the stand up mirror facing him, he didn’t need more to feel bad at the moment. He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there, clutching the small stuffed snake that branded his university’s logo, until a knock interrupted him from his self pity.

It could have been an RA or anyone else, but of course it had to be Patton’s tenor voice coming through from the hallway. Dee imagined Patton had his head pressed against the wall next to his door, as he’s opened to the sight many times. Patton would usually be humming something, the energy in him buzzing through his veins causing him to bounce with almost every part of his body. He was taller than most, the tallest of their friends at least, and his limbs just stretched so far that he was kind of everywhere at once.

And Dee didn’t even consider that he would’ve had people with him, he was up and opening the door before his brain could catch up with him. His eyes registered that the other three were standing behind him, but all Dee could see was that damn blue polo of his being as short as Dee is, and next thing he knew his eyes were squeezed close and arms were being wrapped around him.

He was pushed further into his room, it suddenly felt smaller than any other room they’ve all been in together. Logistically that was because he was in a single, and they were in a kitchen suite with two double rooms and an empty, so his was smaller. But as he wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist, he wanted to be closer. He wanted just a little of the warmth or the joy that the older man radiated to transfer to him. Dee felt a hand slip between them, brushing away the hair falling over his eyes and collecting a bunch of tears with his thumb, a soft, sibling-like kiss pressed to the top of his hair. The move was comfortable, and he almost felt bad for pressing his cheek against the hand like until he heard Roman’s deep bass laugh a little wetly.

Dee lifted his head from Patton’s chest, tried to pull away in an attempt to gain some dignity back in a group where he never had any to begin with, when lanky arms wrapped his shoulders pulling him into another hug. A hand patted his back, and Logan stepped away, and Virgil’s hug was as soft as quick as it was rare.

“You wanna talk?” Patton asked, his voice low and quiet and fuck, Dee felt like a child the way he shook his head no in response, and practically made grabby paws at him. Patton smiled though, pulled him into a hug anyway as things moved around them.

By the time Dee pulled away, Roman was putting a handful of candy wrappers in the trash bin as he hummed along to an old Bowling for Soup song that Virgil had started playing from Dee’s open laptop. If Dee had the energy, he would reach over and close the email tab that was still open, the start of tonight’s breakdown, but he didn’t so it was left staring him down from across the room. A battle with his past, a reminder of the people he’s hurt, of how he’s evil, doesn’t deserve-

Virgil closed the tab. Didn’t just minimize it, apparently not caring at all what was on it as he pressed the little red x, but definitely noticing the way Dee’s eyes blinked back at him when it was gone. And now that he had his attention-“When’s the last time you ate anything besides those?”

Dee forced a smile passed his lips, wiped at his face, turned away from them, anything to not appear as weak and pathetic as he felt mumbling “Maybe Monday?”

“It’s Thursday.” Logan replied, there was a stiffness to his voice, and Dee bit his lip. They were mad, god he couldn’t even do so much as eat, and-laugh. Just laugh it off. Dee shrugged, smiling even though it kind of hurt, and mumbled an apology. “We should go get some real food in you then.”

Dee’s stomach wasn’t grumbling, it wasn’t like he was fighting against hunger of any kind, he just wasn’t hungry. So he just made a nonchalant noise, climbed over to use the step stool for his bed, being as he was shorter than most who kept their beds on the top notch, and wondered if they’d leave. “I can take care of myself, I know I act like it, but I’m not a baby.”

“No one called you a baby.” Roman replied, leaning against the closet door as a soft ukulele song played. Probably one of his additions, Dee thought to himself, the fact that the group tended to use his account since he was the only one with Spotify premium made him feel a little more integral.

Virgil sat in the chair by his desk, Pat joined Dee on the bed, and Logan leaned on his arm laid out next to the tv on his dresser. Roman bent down next to him, picking up a familiar flash of green and waving. “Childhood stuffed animal?”

“No.” Dee held his hands out and Roman tossed it his way, everyone kind of watching the way the shortest of them clutched the snake to his chest, pushing his face into it.

“I gave it to him.” Pat leaned over, nearly falling on top of Dee completely as he attempted to knock shoulders with him. Dee made a noise of agreement, soon enough the room would be filled with laughter and fond memories of middle school dance hits, but for now a smile came easy. He wasn’t happy, wasn’t sure if he felt any better, but at least his friends were here with him.

The memory casted a ghost of a smile on Dee’s face as he pressed the face of the familiar stuffed snake into his tear filled face months later. He was cornered around buckets of his university stuff in the living room of his family’s one floored apartment. One of his sisters were sleepily loudly on the couch next to him as he scrolled through the photos from the previous semester hoping it would make him feel a little better. It didn’t. All it did was remind him that there would be more nights ahead like this. Trying to muffle his cries as his emotionally exhausted brain fought sleep for just one more hours as the same dreams that had comforted the desolate student, now only teased and terrorized him. It reminded him how empty the suite would feel with Patton no longer attending the school, Roman transferring in December, Virgil ignoring him, and Logan furious with him since he’d gone risked his health by forgetting to eat again. Yeah, the memory may have soothed him for a moment, but now all it did was make him miss them even more.

#sympathetic deceit #sympathetic deceit week #deceit sanders #TSdeceit #roman sanders #logan sanders #dlamp #platonic dlamp #patton sanders #virgil sanders #platonic patceit #platonic loceit #platonic roceit #platonic anxceit #tori writes #tori writes sanders sides

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heaventide · 7 years

Text

An Overrated Cliché

Summary: That Spider-Man kiss video was definitely cliché and cheesy, which is exactly the reason that Spidey and Y/N have to do it.

Word Count: 2235

Warnings: Heights and Swearing.

A/N: casually drops this after almost a year without writing like okay!! okay!! please enjoy this (it has good format!!) :0 and thank you to @buckys-fossil for actually tolerating me and proofreading this, i love you!!! also this is a gender neutral fic!!!! if you followed me when i was strictly an aesthetic blog well then, hello i write fics too

Summer weather was the worst.

Summer holiday wasn't that much better, what with having cabin fever and all. It had been a week since you had left the comfort of your apartment and three hours since you flopped onto the couch and lay there. All of your friends had been busy, Michelle doing her protesting, Liz with college preparation. It left you with nothing much to do other than lounge around your home.

The fan placed on the coffee table was set on revolve and hit your body with cool breezes. Laying on your side and absentmindedly watching season three of Phineas and Ferb, you felt jealous that those children were creative enough to make the most of your summer. It was a big contrast to you, as you hadn't done anything the entire few weeks of summer there had been.

A thought suddenly came to mind and you decided to act on it. Shutting off the TV and fan, you put on actual clothes and took care of your hygiene before fixing your hair and pulling on your sneakers. Making sure to had some money and the house key, you texted your mom.

to: mom hey i'm leaving the apartment for the first time in days are you proud of me

It didn't take her long to reply.

from: mom Fine with me, I was about to kick you out and make you do something.

You laughed at her text before tucking your phone away and leaving the apartment and locking the door.

This was the life.

Visiting the ice cream shop down the street and getting your favorite flavor was one thing, but eating ice cream on the roof of your apartment building was another. Swinging your legs over the busy streets while watching everything below amused you more than anything on TV could. You sighed happily as you took in the moment.

"Well you look like you're having fun." a voice said behind you, making you jump in surprise. You steadied yourself before looking behind you, seeing the one and only Spider-Man.

"And you look like you're dying in that suit." You shot back, turning around and stepping onto the roof. You knew Spider-Man somewhat well, only because you guys would usually have some random talks back when school was taking place. While you didn't know who it was under the mask, you knew he went to your school and you were actually quite chummy with him. It was the first time you had seen Spidey since then.

"Surprisingly, I'm not hot. Well, I'm hot with my looks but not with the weather." Spidey remarked cockily, earning a light shove from you as you laughed.

You licked the slowly melting ice cream before it could drip. "I can't be the judge of that. Unless you're Flash Thompson, because then I can judge that."

"Well, Y/N, I'm not, so you can be relieved."

You raised a suggestive eyebrow at him, smirking a bit. "So what've you been up to lately? I'm talking about kickass crime fighting stuff— not your boring civilian life. C'mon, Spidey, impress me."

"Y/N, my boring civilian life isn't that much boring, just interning and—"

"I didn't ask for that…" you sing songed as you ate parts of the ice cream cone.

"Right, anyways, I stopped a haywire bus with my bare hands, worked with Iron Man— which was pretty badass. Then I helped an old lady cross the street and then she bought me a churro. Best churro I've had."

"I'm impressed. Not by you, the old lady. She spent her money even though she could cross herself. She could be an ultra-cool ass-kicker," you noted sarcastically. "Nothing over the top by you though."

"Wow Y/N, I'm hurt," Spidey feigned pain, putting a hand over his heart. "I thought you loved me."

"I love Scarlet Witch, not you."

"She threw a car at me once." he mumbled, but you heard him clearly.

"HOLY SHIT, REALLY?!" you yelled, eyes widening from shock with your jaw dropped.

Spidey threw his hands up in frustration, appalled that you were more impressed with that. "Why is it so hard to impress you?!"

"It's not that hard. But if I had to pick something to be impressed with you, it's that you're actually hanging out here, with me, instead of being a kickass vigilante." you crossed your arms, shrugging.

"Oh fuck, that's what I'm supposed to be doing." he recalled, as his mechanical eyes suddenly widened. Amusingly, you raised your brows, and bit your lip at the sight of this. He stepped onto the ledge of the roof saying, "Sorry, Y/N I gotta go—"

"WAIT!" you exclaimed before he could swing away. "Please take me with you to relieve my boredom, I promise I will owe you with something, just PLEASE take me with you."

"Will you be impressed with me after?"

"Sure, why not?!" you exclaimed before he grabbed your waist and shot a web at a nearby building and jumping off.

You let out a scream at the sudden thrill, putting your arms around his neck and holding as tight as you could. Your heart dropped as he let go of your waist to shoot another web, but his hand was put on your back afterwards, making everything seem somewhat alright.

"I'M NOT DEAD!" you yelled, throwing your arms in the air as Spidey set you down on a fire escape far from your apartment.

"You thought I'd kill you?" Spidey spoke as he looked over the fire escape for the thief he sensed while swinging. "Can't believe you think of me so lowly, Y/N."

"I'm not thinking of you lowly, I'm just… fearing for my life." You shrugged, pacing back and forth as Spidey was targeting the thief. There was a comfortable silence between you both as you made your way to his side and tried to observe like he was. A man in a black balaclava suddenly appeared on the sidewalk, holding a sack of something most probably stolen. You looked to your side to see Spidey already gone, and back to the ground where he was in the middle of kicking the thief in the face. Your eyes widened as the thief was suspended into the air from one of Spidey's webs. You grinned at him as he swung himself up and ascended to where you stood, absolutely impressed by him.

"So what'd you think?" Spidey inquired, climbing over the rail and stepping onto the platform.

"Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before." You gushed excitedly in the words of Lady Gaga, stepping closer to him with a big smile on your face.

"I'll take it!" Spidey pumped his fist, over the mood that he was able to impress you. His excitement made you giggle as you moved a strand of hair behind your ear.

You sat down on the steps of the fire escape, making yourself comfortable. "Anything else we're doing before I go home? More ass-kicking? Banter? I’m up for anything, Spider-Boy."

"I mean, nothing's coming to mind right now. What about you?" he asked, leaning against the railing.

"There's one thing I wanna try…" you remarked.

"Lay it out for me."

"I watched this really corny video and it was this guy and his girlfriend. The guy was dressed up as you, and he was upside down hanging out something. And then all of a sudden he basically he kissed his girlfriend while being upside down and it was absolutely corny." You recalled that video you watched a while back, silently laughing still because of how cheesy it was.

"I'm in." Spidey consented, agreeing way quicker than you anticipated. You raised your eyebrows at him, actually making sure he was fine with it. It just now got through your head that this was the real Spider-Man, and not some carbon wannabe.

Holy fuck, I'm kissing Spider-Man, you thought.

"Y/N, I give you my full consent for this. If you wanna try it, then we can do it." Spidey confirmed, making you grin.

Your doubt faded away, taking Spidey's hands and quickly telling him, "Meet me in that alley next door."

Spidey nodded and let go of your hands, moving to a point where he could hang from. You stepped down the fire escape and ran towards the alley, stepping into the dreary passageway. It wasn't inviting at all, the muck on the walls and trash littering the ground made you cringe from disgust, but your negativity instantly dissipated as you heard a familiar presence behind you.

You stepped closer to the webbed vigilante, taking his mask and adjusting it so that his lips were visible. "I can't believe we're doing this just for the cheesiness."

"I mean we're doing it for aesthetic too."

“Shit, you're right." You laughed before closing the distance between the two of you, pressing your lips against his and placing your hands on his cheeks. Spidey kissed back after a few moments, putting his hands on the back of your head. The world, cornily enough, seemed to stop as the kiss continued— but it was as if a record scratched when you pulled away laughing.

Which, surprisingly, wasn't awkward because Spidey was laughing too.

You stepped away from him and cupped your mouth due to your laughter, absolutely amused by what you had just done. Spidey stepped back onto the ground while still laughing, pulling his mask back over his mouth. Your laughter began to die down but a wide grin still remained on your face.

“That was probably one of the best things I have ever done in my years of life.” Spidey acknowledged making you chuckle.

“Aesthetic came in clutch at the last minute. But holy fuck— that was so corny.” You agreed, putting an arm around him and looking up at him.

“I will say that while it was really overrated, it was also pretty cool.”

“I guess it was.” You shrugged, glaring at the dirty alleyway you were standing in. “Can you take me home please? I don’t really wanna be in this dingy alleyway anymore.”

“Of course, Y/N.” Spidey acknowledged before shooting a web and swinging the both of you up into midair, you clinging onto him as the sun set and city lights began to illuminate the streets below.

The sky was a dark shade of peach when you finally got back home. Spidey set you down on the roof before stepping on himself. “Here you are, not dead and home safe. Do I get brownie points for that?”

“Of course you do, Spidey. And you also get points for amusing me all day and for beating up that thief. High quality deeds earn high quality brownie points,” you remarked, nudging him in the shoulder. "Kinda curious as to who I’ve been hanging out with all day, not to mention who I kissed, but I know you gotta keep your identity. So it’s alright.”

“I mean, I’m not opposed to taking off my mask in front of you. I think it’s alright if you know.” Spidey shrugged, causing you to look at him confusingly. He seemed somewhat out of character to you— as he never took that mask off on duty.

“Your superiors won’t get mad?”

Spidey shook his head. “I don’t really think so. If they do, I think it’s alright either way.”

He reached for his mask and took if off, his hair bouncing as the garment was removed. You took in the sight in front of you, mouth curving into a smile and your face brightening up.

“Peter Parker, who would have thought?” You stated, stepping closer to him and ruffling his hair. “I mean, I'm just glad you're cute and not Flash Thompson and— Damn, you got muscles! How’d you hide that?”

“Oversized sweatshirts tend to do wonders in cases like that. And thanks for calling me cute, I don’t get that a lot.” Peter shrugged, giving you a lopsided grin.

“I don’t understand how people can just look past your looks. I mean, yeah you’re a fucking genius but you’re also really cute. And that’s like, the best qualities to have. Have you seriously never seen me admiring the art from afar?” you mused, making Peter’s cheeks go red from all the compliments.

“I-uh, probably not? I was a bit preoccupied.” He admitted, holding up his mask.

“Eh, it’s alright, I think I like it up closer anyways.”

You led Peter over to the rooftop ledge, swinging your legs over and making yourself comfortable. Peter settled next to you, scooting closer to you and letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

There was a silence between the both of you as you took in the moment and let your feet dangle a hundred feet above the ground. The sky was now a navy color and the waning moon soaked the both of you in moonlight. The New York city hustle and bustle was only background noise due to both you and Peter being completely engrossed in this absolutely cliché he and overrated setting. However, you decided, it was completely worth it.

“At least you didn’t reveal yourself in some super angsty moment. That’s almost as corny and cliché as the kiss.”

“I mean, aesthetic.”

Your laughter echoed throughout the street below.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spider-man #spiderman fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #rose writes #marvel imagine #peter x reader

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