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auras-moonstone · 8 months

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Hello! May I request an Ethan x reader, Hogwarts AU? The details don't really matter, but I just thought it'd be a cool idea. You're seriously my go-to acc when it comes to anything Ethan/Jack related, so I couldn't think of anyone better to request this to <3

hii, oh my god you don’t even know how excited i was while writing this! i’ve been wanting to write about hogwarts so i’m really glad you requested this! thank you so so much, i hope you enjoy it! 🤍

let the games begin — ethan landry

word count: 2,973

pairing: slytherin!ethan landry x hufflepuff!fem!reader

summary: when y/n, captain of the hufflepuff quidditch team, hears ethan, slytherin’s team captain, underestimating her team’s ability, they make a bet.

author’s note: i made the reader a hufflepuff bc that’s my house, not gonna lie.

WHEN Y/N RECEIVED THE LETTER FROM HER HEAD OF HOUSE informing she had been chosen to be Hufflepuff’s team Quidditch captain, she was absolutely appalled. Girls, sadly and unfairly, weren’t often given such positions, so she hadn’t expected it at all, no matter how skilled of a seeker she was.

Her stomach turned upside down as she skimmed through the words inked on the parchment over and over again. Of course she was happy to have been selected, but she couldn’t help but feel scared. It was twice the weight a normal captain had on their shoulders—not only she had to be a great captain because of the thrill of winning the Quidditch Cup, but she also had to prove women could do as well as men. If she failed, she knew that the chauvinistic assholes around the school would take the opportunity to state once more that women weren’t competent enough to hold such title.

Y/N was not going to let that happen, so she spent the remaining days of summer scheming tactics and a training routine. When she got back to Hogwarts, she felt more confident than ever, feeling she hoped she could transfer to her teammates.

The Hufflepuffs were beyond happy and excited to have her as their captain, especially her best friend Cedric, who had always told her she would be a fearless leader. The rest of the houses, though, the majority of the people in it didn’t have an ounce of faith on her and threw funny glances her way.

The day professor Hooch posted the upcoming matches, the funny glances turned into ones of pity. The first game of the season would be Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin, and the thoughts were loud around the castle—poor Y/N, Slytherin will sweep the air with her on her very first game as a captain; hope the Slytherins have some mercy on her. It was clear that pretty much everyone was confident on the outcome of the game. Especially the Slytherins.

“That game will be as easy as taking a candy from a baby.” the Slytherin captain’s voice ricocheted on the hallway Y/N was passing by. “We got the first match of the season on our bag, boys.”

Y/N clenched her jaw and marched towards them. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Landry.”

The tall, curly-haired boy tuned around with a smirk on his handsome face and looked down at her. “Oh, come on, Y/L/N. You don’t stand a chance, and everyone knows that.”

The corner of Y/N’s lips lifted up. “You know, everyone’s been throwing shit at me and my team without giving me the benefit of the doubt, and yeah it sucks a bit, but you know what I realized?”

“Nope, enlighten me” he said amused.

“Victory is going to taste much sweeter. And when you have to shake my hand after I kicked your ass, I hope you remember how you spoke too soon. And if you don’t, I’ll be there to remind you.”

A wave of respect passed through Ethan’s body. The way Y/N stood up for herself and her team made him feel some kind of way, though he very much liked to push her buttons so he continued with a playful smirk. “You seem pretty confident, Y/L/N. Wanna make a bet?”

“I’m listening” she held his glance.

“If I win, you’ll do my Potions homework for the rest of the season, if you win-”

“When” she corrected confidently. “And what can you offer me? Unlike you, I have a brain that is pretty capable of doing homework.”

He tried not to smile “If you win, I’ll buy you all the books you want each time we go to Hogsmade during this season.”

The Hufflepuff’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “Deal! Oh my god, I have a list of books I want and it’s very large, Landry”

“It’s very large, Landry. Can’t say I haven’t been told that before” he said with a mischievous smile and laughed at her disgusted expression.

“Poor soul, I’m afraid to inform you have been lied to.”

“Nah, you want proof? I’m very happy to show you”

“You’re repulsing” she scrunched her nose.

Ethan chuckled, she was adorable. “Do we have a deal, little badger?”

Y/N stretched out her hand “Deal.”

Y/N’S CONFIDENT SMILE LINGERED ON ETHAN’S MIND AND THERE WAS NOTHING THE BOY COULD DO TO ERASE THAT IMAGE. The girl was simply too perfect—gorgeous, smart, funny, brave, kind, confident and so adorable that everytime Ethan saw her on the hallways he wanted to wrap his arms around her tiny frame and squish her to death. He also loved how she didn’t take shit from anyone. Y/N was the exact personification of a badger—cute and friendly-looking, but if you poked her, the claws came out and she would not hesitate to scratch you with them.

Ethan didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed her before, but now that he did he couldn’t get her off his mind. Every glance and smirk Y/N sent his way felt like some sort of prize for him, and now that the day of the match had arrived, the feeling of uneasiness took over his chest. Would he still have her attention once their little bet was over? He guessed no, and so he made it his goal to ensure Y/N kept looking at him after it.

When the teams entered the pitch, the stands roared in excitement. While most of the people didn’t have faith on Y/N, they still rooted for Hufflepuff, because their hatred towards the house of serpents was stronger than the lack of faith on the female leader.

“Time to lose, are you ready for it?” Ethan smirked, holding out his hand for Y/N to take it.

Madame Hootch blew the whistle, and Y/N smirked back at the boy in front of her. “Let the games begin, Landry.”

When Y/N was in the air, the concept of time disappeared. She didn’t know if the game lasted 20 seconds or 20 years—what she did know, was that it ended as soon as the palm of her hand surrounded the golden snitch. Hufflepuff had beaten the Slytherin by 250 points, it’s been years since the last time the house of badgers won by so many points.

“Congratulations, Y/L/N. You were amazing” Ethan said with a, surprisingly for Y/N, genuine smile. As captains, they were the ones in charge of putting everything back in the supply closet, so they were now all alone.

“Thank you, Landry” she replied contently. She was beaming, and Ethan thought she couldn’t have looked more beautiful, even when covered in sweat and with her hair all messy from the wind. “You played amazing, too. Though, don’t think that your compliments are saving you from spending your money on me.”

“Wouldn’t dream on it” Ethan laughed. He couldn’t wait to spend his time with her, to get to know her better.

“Good. Now, let’s go back to the castle. I think you have Potions homework to do… on your own” she smirked playfully.

“You’re kinda mean for a Hufflepuff” he played back.

“Well, if we are stereotyping, you’re kinda nice for a Slytherin” Y/N bumped his forearm with her shoulder. The guy was super tall—and probably the most attractive human she had ever met.

“Kinda?!” he raised his voice, acting offended.

“Well, no matter how nice you are now, I didn’t forget the little scene at the hallway. You underestimated me and my team. The fact that I’m a girl doesn’t make me less capable, you know?”

Ethan frowned. “Wait, wait, wait” he stopped her by the shoulders, and she had to tilt her head up to look him in the face. “Yes, I thought your team would suck, but not because you’re a girl. Hufflepuff has come out in last place for years, that’s the only reason I said it. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.”

Y/N’s eyes softened a bit and nodded slowly “Okay”

“I’m serious. In fact, last year you were the only good player the team had. If Hufflepuff had points, it was all because of you. Because you never failed to catch that snitch. If you had had great players supporting you, you would’ve won that cup.”

“You think so?” Y/N asked, feeling the heat creep up from her neck right to her face. His face was so close, his eyes so bright and voice so soft and sincere that her heart went crazy.

“I know so, Y/N” he squeezed her waist. When did his hands get there and why did it feel so good? And why did her name sounded so much better coming from his lips?

“Thank you, Ethan”

Her smile was so shiny that could light up the whole castle “Just telling the truth. And hey, don’t tell this to my team but I’m not completely sad you won that game. I heard what they have been saying on the hallways, about you not good enough for the position just for being a girl. I’m glad you proved them wrong.”

Was it normal for her heart to be beating this fast? “Well, thank you for saying that. But the talking won’t stop, they are going to find another excuse to keep saying the same thing.”

“Then you’ll have to keep winning. Not that it will be a problem, because your team is very good this year”

“You shouldn’t say those things about the rival team, Ethan. I think you have a soft spot for me” she teased him.

“I have known that since that day at the hallway, Y/N. You aren’t saying anything I didn’t already know” he answered truthfully, catching her off guard. “Since that day, I knew you were special. And I’d like to know you better, if you let me.”

Y/N nodded with enthusiasm “Yes, I’d really really like that, Ethan”

“Would you like to go to Hogsmade with me? I know we kinda were already, because of the bet. But I mean, be with me the whole day” he said nervously.

“I would love to, Eth”

“Great, it’s a date” he said, and the blood rushed into her cheeks. “Awe, are you blushing for me? How cute”

“Shut up, asshole.” she pushed him away playfully.

“Let’s go, little badger” he felt a little bold, so he grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. Thankfully, she didn’t push him away, instead she squeezed his hand.

TURNS OUT, Y/N WAS RIGHT. Their victory wasn’t enough, people still weren’t aware of her talent as a captain and still found excuses to justify their win. Even after the following matches the Hufflepuff team won. People said it was beginners luck, that the teams took pity on her, or Ethan’s personal favourite: the Slytherin captain was so smitten with her that he let her win that first match and was helping her with tactics.

“That’s such bullshit! I mean, I am smitten with you but I would never let you win. The win is all on you” Ethan rambled as they made their way towards Hogsmade.

“I know, Eth. You don’t have to assure me, I know” Y/N laughed. “I have to say, it’s really cute that you are so mad about what they have been saying about me.”

“How are you not mad? It doesn’t make any sense. If you were a men, they would be kissing the floor you walked on”

“I know that too. But I have reached the point in where I’m just so sick of them coming at me that I just ignore it. If I react, they’ll say I’m overreacting and it’s just going to get worse”

“Today I almost punched a Gryffindor who was talking shit about you” he admitted.

“Please don’t punch anyone for me. It’s not worth it”

“Agree to disagree. If anyone is worthy, it’s you”

“You’re so sweet” she kissed his knuckles. “But really, don’t do it. Just imagine you punching him, that’s what I do”

“Fine” he scoffed. “Now, let’s get your books and see how much it hurts my wallet”

Y/N laughed. “You don’t have to buy me books, Eth. I only wanted to prove I’m good at being captain, and I did”

“Nope, I am buying you all the books you want.” Ethan said, opening the door of the book store. “Don’t hold back.”

Y/N didn’t hold back. Ethan exited the little bookshop with a bag full of romance books and a happy Y/N on his arm.

“Bet you regret that bet now” Y/N laughed.

“If there is something in my life I don’t regret is making that bet, Y/N” Ethan said in a serious tone. “Besides, I would’ve bought every single book in that shop if it meant you would keep smiling at me like that.”

Y/N couldn’t take it anymore, if she didn’t kiss Ethan she might die. So she carefully set one hand on the back of his neck while the other cupped his jaw and she stood on her tip-toes.

“I want to kiss you, Eth. Really really bad, is that okay?” she whispered.

Okay? It was more than okay. And instead of answering with words, he lowered his head and their freezing lips met. Suddenly the warm in their hearts nullified the icy feeling that the December snow had been putting on them. The air was extremely cold, but nothing seemed to matter other than the kiss they had been wanting since their small confrontation in the hallway at the beginning of the year.

THE REST OF THE SEASON WENT THE SAME WAY. Hufflepuff won almost every match, yet people still had doubts when it came to the captain—no matter how much she hustled and put in the work, they wouldn’t give her any credit and still questioned if she deserved the title. No matter how fast she ran, she couldn’t get there, she couldn’t earn their respect.

True to his word, Ethan never got physical with anyone who talked shit about his girl (which didn’t mean he wouldn’t call them out) and would instead reassure her countless time how capable and amazing she was. Which lifted her spirits more than he realized.

The final match was coming and Y/N could barely eat from nervousness—it would be Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor and she knew it was going to be tough. Oliver Wood was a force to be reckoned with and so was his team.

The pressure was drowning her, it’s been years since she had seen the Hufflepuff house so hopeful, and if the victory slipped from her fingers it was really going to crush her. At least she had Ethan now, if she didn’t, she was pretty sure she would’ve already drowned—he was her life jacket. Cheesy, but true.

“Are you going to wear something yellow for me?” she asked in a teasing tone, straddling his lap. They were on the locker room, sitting on a bench as the girl waited for her team to arrive. Ethan was there for emotional support, because in only a few hours they would know who the cup will belong to this year.

“I’m always wearing something yellow when you play. Discreetly, of course. But not today, today everyone’s going to see me fully rooting for my girl” he said pressing kisses on her neck.

“Theres no way you’re going to do that in the middle of the Slytherin bleachers” Y/N laughed shaking her head. They had been keeping their relationship low-key, but now that the season was almost over they decided they didn’t want to hide it anymore.

“You wanna bet?” he smirked, making her laugh harder.

“Okay. If you win, I’ll let you use the Prefects bathroom” she said.

“Fuck, yes” he said excited. He had been begging her to let him use it, but like the good girl she was, she refused. She took the Prefect position as seriously as her captain position. “It’s almost time. Kick asses, babe”

“You bet I will”

“No matter what the outcome is, I want you to know I’m very proud of you. For being an amazing captain and for putting up with the shade everyone’s been throwing at you” Ethan said cupping her cheeks.

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears. “You don’t know how much it means to me, Eth. Thank you”

“You got this, babe. See you in a couple of hours, I’ll shower you with kisses. Everywhere” his eyes turned a little darker when he said the last word.

“Give me a preview?” she looked at him in the eyes.

“God, you can’t give me bed eyes when I’m supposed to leave” he groaned.

Y/N giggled and kissed his cheek “I love teasing you”

THE BATTLE FOR THE WIN HAD BEEN LONG, BUT THE HUFFLEPUFFS STOOD CHAMPIONS THAT AFTERNOON. They gave their blood, sweat and tears for that, and their karma came in form of a gold shiny cup.

Y/N’s karma was also her boyfriend, who sprinted towards her in a yellow shirt with the number 13 and her last name on the back. Ethan spun her in his arms as they both laughed and cried.

“You did it, babe. Holy shit” he said happily.

“And you wore a Hufflepuff shirt. My shirt! Oh my god” she laughed. “I love you”

Ethan stood still for a moment, but then he smiled widely. “I love you too. So much”

“Then kiss me for Merlin’s sake”

“I love you” he repeated when they pulled away. “Go celebrate with your team, Cap. Meet me at midnight at the bathroom?”

“I love you too. And yes, meet you there” she replied breathlessly.

“Underwear is optional, by the way” he whispered in her ear, making a rush of electricity run through her body.

“If it’s not necessary, then why wear it, right?” she smirked.

He kissed her once more. “Can’t wait”

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butterscotchpiesandguys · 3 months

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Student Becomes the Teacher

It was a familiar experience to me, getting in my car, going to class early, doing homework. Felt nice. Of course what was also familiar was the bullying. You see I had recently gotten fired and had a wake up call. I needed to do something better with my life. So what did I do? i, as someone so smart would do, joined a technical institute. I went into a more financial side though. This did not make me popular with my classmates who had been there longer, were usually older, and most of which were more hands on.

They would call me a nerd, a loser, and a geek. Of course I didn't care all too much about this. Harassment was just that, and quite frankly it was some annoying dumb ass adults who couldn't even think straight enough to get a job that was actually needed. This attitude also made me very unpopular. So unpopular a teacher complained. Why? Cause he had heard some of the stuff me and my field would say about the welders.

It was just stuff like how they're stupid, all have at least one DUI, won't amount to anything. Stuff like that. He went so far to complain to the head administrator of the school. Now he used to be an electrician so he knew how it was to be hands on. He loved hearing about all of this and hatched a plan. The workload for the welders had been pretty overwhelming for just one instructor...

It was only a few days before I heard murmurs of a new instructor coming on campus, of course it was some welder... not like my section could get anything. But that same week I was called into an office at campus. I expected nothing much, maybe an odd thing I lost, although what it was I could not imagine... what I didn't expect was the head administrator.

"Hello [Y/N], we just wanted to talk to you today." Oh god what was it about, he could see how nervous I was. It was humiliating but also I needed to try and keep cool. "We had received some complaints about your attitude towards the welders and electricians, I just wanted to go through a few questions with you, that ok?"

Without knowing what to do I nodded, "Y-yes sir." I gulped a bit.

"Good, so first... is it true you had said to Taylor that he was a... no good stoner with no future? Is that true?" I tried to shake my head no but it went the opposite way. "Ah, glad you were honest with me. Well... you know here we like to give second chances to anyone right?" I shook my head in agreement. "In that case, any felonies you have?"

What felonies? What kind of- "Yeah, actually I've had a dui or two, got arrested for a fight or two... or more." What was I saying?! What the hell?!

"I appreciate your honesty... Tom was it?" What kind of name was that? It wasn't my name at all? Wait why did I nod?! "Yeah, well that's gonna be tough but your students generally would relate. The head administrator smiled at me. "We can wave those away since your track record for your work is pretty good."

"Glad to hear that." I said again in that weird voice. What the hell was happening... why did I suddenly remember welding and shit... What the hell...

"Yeah... I think you'll fit right in, Tom." Why was he being so devilish right now?!

"Thanks man, really need this." I chuckled as I stood up and walked out of the room. "Startin next thursday right?"

"Yup! Just wear somethin like that when you come in! We'll get a shirt in your size soon!" He laughed as I walked out, the window in the door showing a new reflection.

My face was more dashing, a bit older as well. My hair was messy but in an almost purposeful way. My body had grown quite a bit of muscle now... hair as well. Tattoos had been put on my body frivolously! I looked like some typical douche bag!

I walked through the halls, trying to see on my phone what had happened. My background was a picture of a motorcycle. Jessie... what? Who the hell was Jessie? My contacts had some girls in there and some guys I had no clue who they were. Going through the messages they were my drinking buddies and some hookups.

I continued until the electrician teacher stopped to talk. "Hey are you..." I wanted to say my actual name but that didn't pop out.

"Yeah, name's Thomas Wylder. You can just call me Tom though." I smiled at her... it was like my body moved on it's own. "New teacher here, welding." Wait...

We started to talk in the hall for a bit, just about staff in the school and how the welders were. She described them as younger than me and rowdy. I would make douchey comments or state shit about my life. Where I now lived, how many years I had been a welder and in the union. It was like I wasn't even me anymore. Eventually I cut it short, needing to go do some "tasks" at my home.

I went outside to find it... the same motorcycle from the picture. Jessie. I put on a leather jacket and no helmet... I could ride it with no issue though. I was still wondering how or why this happened. It was as if I was... no... the head administrator wouldn't do that would he?

I eventually got back to wherever my home was. Beaten up shithole kinda... not in a good neighborhood either. I waved to a neighbor and went in. Smelt like shit, I reached in my pocket and took out a cig and started smoking... no... I was the worst kind of person. The kind I hated. Dumb, arrogant, douchey, and toxic! It was awful!

2 MONTHS HAD GONE BY

I was now regularly teaching the class, about two weeks into this hellish experience I had started to regain full control of my life. While I tried to actually stop these worse traits, I couldn't. By that point they were ingrained into me. Now I acted like a douchey teacher, the kinds you hate. The ones that will just tease or make fun of nerdy kids. Of course I was well loved by the staff and my students.

I worked as a welder and taught the trade now. I hated it... but it gave me money to pay the lifestyle I never wanted. I don't think I deserved this but... I'm slowly coming around to it. I feel more confident and hey, I even hang out with some of the douchebags I had teach me when I went here... god I sound so old now... I hope someday I can reverse this before it's way too late.

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lover-of-mine · 5 months

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Okay, I said I was gonna make a post about the way I believe Ryan is playing Eddie as in love with Buck because of the way he makes certain choices about Eddie regarding Buck that are similar to the ones he made about Eddie regarding Shannon, and this is it.

The whole thing started with the way Eddie looks away from things that make him experience intense feelings, but mostly when he doesn't like what he's feeling in a sense. He looks away from Shannon all of the time, when they're fighting, before she goes to the school, and in the firehouse, when she says she wants a divorce.

He's avoiding his parents eyes when they are trying to take Christopher, he looks away from Frank all the time.

He can't look Buck in the eye when Buck is trying to tell him that Chris got lost in the tsunami, he looks away from Ana because he knows he's hurting her (he does force himself to watch Shannon as she dies but I feel like that's a lot more about his loyalty/instinct to protect because that moment is fully about her because she's dying).

That's a consistent trait Ryan gave Eddie, he looks away, I think it even makes sense with the way Eddie runs away from stuff. And that makes moments when he's avoiding eye contact with Buck that much more interesting.

Because take 3a for example, buddie has quite a few emotional conversations, but during those, Eddie is mostly always staring Buck down or actively trying to force Buck to look at him (except when it comes to the fight club but the fight club is a lot more about shame in my opinion).

But when you look at the will reveal for instance, Eddie is consistently forcing himself to look back at Buck. His instinct seems to be to keep looking forward, and he needs to remember to look at Buck from time to time. (I'm not gonna put the whole scene here, but go rewatch and pay attention to where Eddie is looking)

And sure, the way Eddie simply refuses to look at anything relating to Buck's death can be seen as just "my best friend died" because any reasonable person would have an extreme reaction to watching their best friend die.

But, I don't see how that applies in the cemetery. Because Buck says "she sees me" and Eddie gives him that disbelief look and then just, stops looking. Honestly, there's no reason for that conversation not to involve them looking at each other, the point that's made that they are looking straight ahead is very interesting on its own but, like, when you add the fact that Eddie looks away from shit he doesn't want to feel/wants to run away from, that conversation has a whole other fun layer.

Even more with the way that Buck is lowkey looking like a kid tugging on your sleeve to get your attention and Eddie just refuses to look at him.

But my point really comes to the fact that these are all the same reaction.

And how do you explain the decision to make Eddie react the same way he does when Shannon is asking him to make a decision about them and then when she makes the decision herself by asking for a divorce when he thinks Buck has made a decision about them so he needs to back off?

That's his breakup face, plain and simple.

And it's not a reaction Eddie has to Shannon once, is something that is consistent with the way we see Eddie reacting to Shannon, and I personally think its a lot of the way it makes us never feel sure about the relationship, because Eddie is consistently presented to us when it comes to this as "I love her but I'm not sure about having her around". And these are his reactions to moments where Shannon makes him question where they stand. Moments where he's questioning if he actually understands where their relationship is.

You can't have Eddie question the nature of his relationship with Buck just because Buck has a crush and tell me that Eddie is experiencing purely platonic feelings.

And these are acting choices, and Ryan is very consistent about the way Eddie reacts to stuff, so the fact that he is wearing his "Shannon is making me feel thing" face says something.

I also said earlier today that Eddie is aware of his feelings because he stops saying emotional things while looking at Buck. Like, after the tsunami he is literally chasing Buck's gaze to force him to look at him, he doesn't look away from him at the grocery store or when they make up after the lawsuit or even after Buck fights with his parents, but starting with the will reveal, he looks away when saying things, and it makes me wonder if there's a level of that that is about making sure Buck can't read his reaction to what he's saying, because he doesn't want Buck to look too closely.

Anyway, that's all for today, as always, if you read this I love you <3

#911 #911 meta #buddie meta #eddiediazedit #buddie thoughts #im gonna go to bed now #i dont feel nearly as crazy about this one as i do other metas #is too many instances to be a coincidence yk?#ryan is on our side #and he put in enough work that the second they decide to make buddie canon that can just push Eddie into doing something #and make it make sense #anyway #Ryan is playing Eddie as in love with Buck and I will take no criticism #eddie diaz

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astermath · 10 months

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nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

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makethosenarratorsfight · 10 months

Text

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to poll length!

Eugenides Propaganda:

the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time

Harrowhark Propaganda:

She gave herself a lobotomy and gives completely incorrect flashbacks to the previous book. Things that straight up did not happen. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

She’s schizophrenic (confirmed by the author) and also lives in a world with necromancy and ghostly revenants. She’s not just an unreliable narrator for readers, she’s an unreliable narrator of her own internal experience. She knows this and has to work with people around her to compensate for it. Descent into spoilerville below. Seriously Do Not Read if you want to read these books. There’s also the little matter about how she is *not actually the narrator* of a huge chunk of the story that we are initially led to believe is being told from her perspective.

(Spoilers) Holy shit she is THE most unreliable narrator. This gremlin gave herself a lobotomy so that she could forget about Gideon Nav, the most important person in her life (for magic soul-preserving reasons) so half of the second book in the series is spent gaslighting the reader about a book they just read. She comes up with an entire alternate version of the events of the first book in the series to carefully exclude any mentions of Gideon, and any time someone says ‘Gideon’ in front of her she LITERALLY has a stroke and/or an intercranial hemorrhage as her brain overwrites the word with someone else’s name. God occasionally intentionally triggers her memory revision to get out of difficult conversations. She also hallucinates ALL the time (unrelated to the lobotomy). She shows up at her frenemy’s room in the middle of the night (think little kid stumbling to their parents’ room and saying “I frew up”) to ask her to come check underneath her bed for the corpse that’s been wandering the space station. When frenemy checks underneath the bed, frenemy claims not to see anything, and Harrow is such an unbelievably unreliable narrator that it’s an open question in the fandom as to whether frenemy genuinely didn’t see the corpse or if frenemy was just yanking Harrow’s chain. Harrow is also haunted by a literal ghost that fucks up her already fucked up alternate history. Girlie will pick up a piece of paper and read from it the most violent and haunting piece of prose ever composed, when in reality all that’s written on the paper is the elementary school Superman S*. I am NOT joking that is a real goddamn scene. Harrow was created to win this poll. TLDR; she has brain damage and memory loss, she hallucinates, and is also haunted. * https://twitter.com/vestenet/status/1301012651145859072

Girl is so unreliable, she unreliably tells me events I was there for!!! She's retelling the previous book and I'm like "girlie, this is absolutely not how it happened". Also, she gave herself a DIY lobotomy, it has to impact your memory center I guess

She literally had a lobotomy, how can she be reliable

More Propaganda under cut!

Harrowhark is simply the unreliable narrator of all time. Can’t remember shit because of a lifetime of trauma? Check. Maybe lying to yourself and those around you a bit? Most definitely. Being gaslit by the survivors you depend on to orient you to reality? For sure. How about a little bit of canon schizophrenia? She’s got it all. Ghosts? Or something? Spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are not perceivable by others? Sure, sure! But how about spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are gonna use you to hijack others’ bodies and maybe kill God, too? Absolutely. Wee bit of DIY brain surgery? If it would make you an unreliable narrator, friends, then Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been there, been subjected to that!

Okay I don't know that much about this series since I haven't convinced myself to read all of the first book, but this is my blorbo in law so I'd feel bad not spreading propaganda (all of what I'm saying is something I've read, as to prevent myself from straight up submitting misinformation). So all of Harrow's unreliable narration takes place in the second book, Harrow the Ninth. Basically, without her even seemingto acknowledge it, Harrow's brain is very fucked up during this book, to the point where even she's not sure how reliable her narrative is. There's many questions left unclear as a result of her fucked up little brain, like what's real, what's fake, whether we can trust her judgement, whether even she can trust her own judgement, whether her original cavalier is dead or not (Harrow is convinced she is), etc. Let me tell you, I adore unreliable narrators who aren't even that sure if they're reliable. I have yet to eat that trope up here in this circumstance, but this poll might not run again by the time I do, so for now, here's my messed up blorbo in law.

OKAY SO REMEMBER MY GIDEON SUBMISSION? HARROW DOESN’T! SPOILERS AHEAD BECAUSE SHE LOBOTOMIZED HERSELF TO FORGET GIDEON BECAUSE THAT’S A HEALTHY WAY TO GRIEVE AND THEN IN THE ONLY PARTS OF HER BOOK THAT SHE NARRATES (THE REVISED CANAAN HOUSE PARTS) IT’S LITERALLY A ROOM FULL OF GHOSTS HER BRAIN SUMMONED TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CUT HER BRAIN IN HALF TO FORGET GIDEON. she also is a) haunted and b) psychotic, experiencing hallucinations her entire life of both the ghosts haunting her and less supernatural hallucinations- bells tolling, bones rattling, her parents (some of the only dead people NOT haunting her), etc! in the revised history of canaan house that her brainghosts invent, she brings along someone who knows about her psychosis to help reality check her when she tells him go! her caregiver as a child and support when she got older, crux, is a horrible man- but at one point, when someone other than harrow is in harrow’s body and tells him “i am not harrowhark, i am sorry,” his response is simply “aye, you’ve said that before too. who are you then, if not my lady harrowhark?” showing his familiarity with her psychosis and his love for the child he wouldn’t dare see as a daughter. but enough about that lets talk about her unreliable narration! she lies about her feelings of course but she also simply hides the truth from everyone, all the time, compulsively. also literally the entire section of her book that she narrates is a lie she’s telling US about a lie she’s telling HERSELF and no one understands even a little bit of the truth until like the last act of the book. queen.

#eugenides #the queens thief #queens thief #harrowhark #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth #unreliable narrator battle #unreliable narrators #polls #side c

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adawngswife · 5 months

Text

dating sean diaz hcs pt 2

- before esteban fixed up a car for sean, u guys would always take the public bus around seattle

- his favorite dates r the ones where u guys go into random small stores and thrift shops

- both of u guys cackle REALLY LOUD at tacky shirts with stupid sayings and get looks from people 😭

- ur fav thing is to go “i found something ud like” and watch sean look up from the racks in excitement to see an overly patriotic shirt that says “don’t touch my truck”

- his face drops into a frown and he picks out something 10x uglier and say it looks like something ud wear

- sean secretly buys what u say is cute but u cant afford bc thrifting is so expensive for no reason these days

- “guess what i got” and he slithers it out of his bag with an evil smile 😭 suddenly him dissing u for an hour straight doesnt even matter anymore

- once esteban texts sean for dinner u guys hop on the bus back home. he never asks sean to come home for dinner alone though! common courtesy to invite the gf

- sharing wired earbuds on the bus ride home always. sean plays little love songs bc he only listens to music that he relates to in that specific moment 😭 corny but cute. he def has songs in his head that he thinks are ur guys’ songs and plays them every chance he gets

- when u first started eating with the diaz family it was so painfully awkward

- though he kind of likes it now, he did not want his girlfriend to get to know esteban or daniel too well LMAO he didnt want to be embarrassed by anything they possibly could say

- still, even when he tried so hard to avoid it, daniel and esteban still found their ways

- estebans the kind of dad to bring up embarrassing stories about sean when he was a kid bc he KNOWS how much his son would hate it

- “y’know (y/n), im surprised seanie boy over here even managed to get a girlfriend in the first place”

- “why is that, mr. diaz?”

- “i remember he thought girls couldn’t poop until he was in middle school! i had to break the news for him—he was in denial for weeks. his voice was shaking when i told him and everything!” u can see sean pause mid-chew in the corner of his eye 😭 “and please, call me esteban”

- you just awkwardly nodded and tried to not bust out laughing. sean notices and kicks u under the table which makes u ACTUALLY bust out laughing

- esteban and daniel knew from there u were one to be trusted

- “i bet (y/n) doesn’t poop” daniel randomly said when u left that night. seans immediately swiveled his head around 😭

- just like with lyla, daniel seemed to have a crush on u as well. the only difference is that sean tries to shut it down REALLY quick.

- “she shits all the time. sometimes i wipe her ass for her bc she shits so much”

- daniel’s “eww…” is like music to his ears

- u always playfully punch him when he does this in front of u and ask why he makes u look bad in front of him

- sean never admits its bc hes jealous of a little kid 😭 he just changes the subject and kisses u bc he thinks hes sneaky

- over the summer he randomly got a buzz and didnt say anything to anybody

- he just opened his front door standing there bald as if nothing happened and ur eyes wld just kind of widen

- u wld eventually tell him it looks good tho bc it DOES he pulls it off so well

- that summer u wld always randomly start feeling his head because the texture is so interesting

- it got to the point where hed just sit on the floor in front of wherever u were so ud get to feel his freshly mowed head

- he always ends up dozing off bc its so comforting and u wld feel his head pressed on ur inner leg.

- u also get the privilege of cutting/buzzing his hair 😋

- sean doesnt trust himself so u guys sit for 40 mins watching a brad mondo video before u start going ape on his hair

- he gets kind of nervous when u get close to his face and does that thing where u switch between a persons right eye and left eye while smiling awkwardly 😭

- surprisingly it turns out good!

- i feel like ud be super nit-picky on ur work, thinking its total ass. he wld just say its perfect over and over again

- he always stares at any reflective surface and smiles like a dork in front of it. even if u did do a shit job, he probably wouldnt notice or care all that much bc he loves blindly ❤️

im on winter break so i get to be cringe and free for endless hours thank u to like the 3 other people who also like sean diaz. u r all real ones

#life is strange 2 #sean diaz x reader #sean diaz #daniel diaz #sean diaz hcs

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thesupreme316 · 5 months

Note

Heyyyyy I just came up with this but headcanons with the boys if their so is in college and has a bunch of missing work how and how they would deal with it (not like this is related to me rn totally DONT have have 20+ missing assignments that r do Thursday😮‍💨) if not that’s fine I just needing something to do so I felt like I was being productive cuz I don’t feel like doing work in my week off. Thought I’d submit ideas for writers so I’d be doing smt!

AEW STARS React to: Their S/O In College (and Taking Finals)

Pairings: Nick Wayne x Reader, Darius Martin x Reader, Hook x Reader, Dante Martin x Reader, Christian Cage x Reader, MJF x Reader, Eddie Kingston x Reader, Wheeler Yuta x Reader

Word Count: 1.2K

Supreme Speaks: hey yall, finals kicked my butt, but we back and packed up in here! to this lovely anon, i hope you got everything done and passed with flying colors (ik i struggled). but anyways, please remember that you are loved and appreciated, and also that you are more than a gpa.

Warnings: none i think, grammarly wasn't working so barely proofread, no gifs as tumblr don't wanna work rn

Taglist: @hooks-martin @sheinthatfandom @triscillal @cassie0sstuff @eddie-kingstons-wifey @hookerforhook @batzy-watzy @wwenhlimagines

i totally forgot to add my beautiful besties my bad

Nick Wayne

Hahaha He is the last person you should be going to for help

If anything, Nick believes that you should just leave it alone and just be in candy land with him

But he knows how hard it is for you and how important it is

So he’ll try his best to help you actually do the assignments

Like you two split up how much work you have and he does half the assignment

I think he would find it fun; pulling all nighters in the library and doing work with their S/O until like 4 am

Every night would be a new adventure

Would let you review the work before you submit it

But anything science-related

Don’t ask him shit

I see him as more of a math person

Darius Martin

I see Darius definitely as a liberal arts or literature person

Like he can edit your papers (he’s your personal chat gpt)

I think Darius would help you by creating a schedule

Like when you need to get stuff done by

BUT

He takes it a step further by allocating time limits for each assignment

Like you can only work on assignment 1 for an hour and 30 minutes each day

Something tells me he is particular with schedules

Darius will keep you on track as if he’s getting paid for it

“Y/N, your break ended 3 minutes ago. LETS GO”

Will definitely help you with researching topics cause that takes a while

Don’t ask him shit about math

Dante Martin

Doesn’t particularly understand what you are going through

But nonetheless he hates that he doesn’t see you as much anymore

I can see him just giving you gifts and words of encouragement

Will tutor you if you need help…but realize that this is not high school science

“You mean there is more than Chemistry I? CHEMISTRY VI? ORGANIC-“

He soon gives up

Stays up with you and drags you away from work if needed

IMAGINE DANTE SAYING “COME TO BED BABY” OMG MY HEART

Will help you with assignments like Nick

Will reward you for all your hard work (wink wink)

Tries to distract you and give you moments for fun/relaxation

After the dust is settled, he’s just happy that you are out of the shackles of academia and you two can hang out stress-free

Hook

MANS IS NOT BOTHERED WITH YOUR BULLSHIT

Has the constant “I told you to start on these assignments earlier” look on his face

If anything he will just supply you with food, energy drinks, and emotional support

But if you thing this man will give you any type of physical help

YOU ARE LYIN TO YOURSELF SWEETHEART

Will secretly complain about your lack of self care or wishing he could actually help in Italian

Fancanon: Hook can speak Italian

If he thinks you have been working too much

He will save your work and shut your laptop down

Will make sure you did everything on your checklist before turning the assignments in

If you need him to print stuff off, just ask, he’ll do it

Unless it’s 1 am…then he’s telling you to take your ass to sleep

Wheeler Yuta

Okay, this man can actually help you

WITH HIS CUTE ASS GLASSES

He truly understands what you are going through as he used to be in your shoes

Mans will tutor you until you are smarter than him

Loves helping you with history and shit

“No the War of 1812 didn’t happen in 1937”

Gives you helpful study and test-taking tips

Tries to make you drink healthy caffeinated drinks not Monsters or Red Bulls

Believes they are the devil and will slap them out of your hands

“What did I say? Red Bull gives you horns, not wings…no not horns for being horny”

Will give you little trinkets or treat you out to dinner when you complete your assignments/exams

He just wants you to remain healthy during this stressful time

Christian Cage

I feel like if anything Christian is a professor…with the way he be schooling those-

He’s probably very knowledge in various subjects

He just does them the old-fashioned way

“What the hell is this?…Whatcha mean this is the new way?”

But if anything he’ll adapt to it, just trying to help you

I HAVE A THEORY that he’ll stay up reading the next chapter or the directions for your next assignment and tries to figure out ways to make the process easier

So the next day you walk out to the table and you see the parts of your project laid out and labeled

“I know it’s a lot but we break it up like this, you should be able to complete by tomorrow”

Christian takes pictures of you two so he can look back and bring up times like the Vietnam war

Makes you take breaks, in which he’ll work in your place

When you get your grade back, it’s yalls grade

not yours

MJF

Straight up pays for a tutor/homework helper

But stays in the room and yells at them cause you are still confused and behind

I mean this in the nicest way

Max is no damn help

He is laughing at you while he’s putting on his scarf

“Imagine doing homework to get a little paper for a job! That’s what you get for not being born rich”

Will post you on instagram and claim that homework and exams are to test idiots

But will quickly change his tune when you place a physics worksheet in front of him

“WHY IS THE GREEK ALPHABET HERE?”

Issues you a public apology and vows to never make fun of you again

If anything MJF supplies you with emotional support, letting you know that your feelings are valid

Will buy you new shoes or something massive for surviving and passing everything

Eddie Kingston

Now when I say don’t ask him anything

DON’T ASK HIM ANYTHING! HE’LL JUST SAY

“Doll, imma be real, I have a GED. I dunno shit”

He can only laugh from afar and say “glad I don’t have to do that shit”

But if you ask him anything about English or Shakespeare, he got you

Will recite random Shakespeare quotes to provide entertainment

I think he proofreads your papers to ensure they make sense

I do think he can help with researching and giving you credible websites

Other than that, his designated role is paper weight or waterboy

He believes your every word when you groan about school

That’s all he can do but you don’t complain about it

After he loves you and you love him

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twisted-lover-boys · 8 months

Note

Hi again, I hope you've been doing well! And that life has been treating you fairly "

I was wondering if we could get diasomnia and/or possibly hearstlyblu ( if not either or is fine) with a male reader that's like March from star rail, (she's just my favorite ok, she's just so cute and funny and I love her 🤣)

Heartslabyul with a March 7th-like boyfriend

{not proof-read}

Y E S

MARCH 7TH MY DAUGHTER

==================================

🌹♥️♠️♦️♣️🌹♥️♠️♦️♣️🌹♥️♠️♦️♣️🌹♠️♥️♦️♣️

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Riddle always knew that you were a strange man when he first met you, but he guesses that strangeness only led to his deep affection for you

He was happy that you loved to take photos of events that happened in your life. He always strives to make every unbirthday party or any Heartslabyul-related event photographic worthy just for you

He always loved how enthusiastic you were over the little things that happened. Every little achievement you reached or event you went to was always met with your positive energy

No matter what you decide to dress in, you always look so cute to Riddle. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing your school uniform or any event costume, you always look so adorable to him

Your powers have always amazed him. You have an unrivaled control over ice that many would be envious of, including him. You have always showed great control over them. Honestly it just makes you more handsome to him

Riddle knew that you remembered nothing of your past but that never stopped him from loving you. No matter what your past would bring up, he’d always love you as his boyfriend

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Ace has a habit of attracting strange people and you were no different…until he started developing a crush on you. Then badda-bing-badda-boom you were his boyfriend now

He fully supports your love for photography and often point out interesting or beautiful spots just so that you can picture them. Probably also gets you new film when you run out

He matches very well with your enthusiasm, especially if it’s something you both enjoy. Parties, pranks, events, anything so long as you’re both having fun

He will never admit this outright but that’s what I’m here for: he loves every single outfit you pull off. Any event outfit, your Halloween costume, or even anything casual, he is on his knees for you

I’ll be honest, Ace likes making hailstorms with you. He’s pretty good with his wind magic and with your unrivaled control over ice, you’re practically unstoppable. A recipe for disaster, if I may add

Ace doesn’t give two shits about your background or the fact that you don’t remember it. You’re his boyfriend here and now and nothing or no one from your past will change that

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Deuce honestly didn’t mind that others saw you as strange. If anything, it only added to his future attraction towards you. It didn’t surprise him when you became his boyfriend

He thinks that your love of photography is nice. It’s a nice hobby to have and loves seeing you get all giddy and happy when you take pictures of beautiful scenery or event

He could easily match your enthusiasm if he wanted to. He can get excited or determined over every little thing so long as you put in as much enthusiasm as him

Deuce is always on his knees for you and your wondrous power in looking cute in everything. He always wants to admire you and have any pictures of you in said outfits

He’s thought about many dangerous combos with his unique magic and your ice powers. Solely because he thinks putting your magic together will result in a full on blackout

Deuce knows that you don’t remember anything of your past but he doesn’t care. Something or someone may come back from your past but you can face it together, as partners

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Cater would use the word “unique” to describe you and even then, he doesn’t care because you’re just super sweet. Guess that’s why he ended up making you his boyfriend

You both share your love of photography. While he does it for his magicam, you do it for your own personal enjoyment. You both end up scouting photo-worthy spots or pick the best angle from events or parties

Somedays, it’s easy for Cater or match your enthusiasm and others…not so much. It just depends on the day. He could have the energy of a young Pomeranian and others he just wants to chill with you

You ever see that video game character who just takes pictures and says “fantastic”? That’s Cater when you wear anything cute. He’s always around with with a camera, snapping as many pictures of you in these cool outfits. Well, you look cute in anything anyway

He loves seeing you use your ice powers in combat but he also loves the more domestic and artistic uses they have. Making ice art that never melts, keeping things cold so they don’t spoil, and being a godsend in summer

He’s not super willing to admit that he’s afraid of your unknown backstory but that’s because he’s afraid that once you learn of your past again, you’ll leave him. Just reassure him that no matter what happens, you’ll always be with him

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Trey always felt like he had a habit of attracting strange friends, but that’s not to say he doesn’t mind. In fact, it probably played a hand in you becoming his boyfriend down the line

He honestly loves your love of photography because you manage to always make the most simplest of things and make them look absolutely beautiful

Trey honestly can’t keep up with your enthusiasm. You’re just too energetic for him! But he’d love to just sit on the sidelines and let you get all your excitement out

He doesn’t know how you do it, but you always manage to make the simplest of outfits look so adorable. Any provided school uniform, event costumes, literally anything. But hey, he’s not complaining

He both admires your ice powers and even wants to experiment with his own unique magic. Maybe you’d make some cool combos? But he also appreciates it for its recreational uses. He’s never had so many fresh tarts before

He knows that you don’t remember anything about your past and understands your fears with it, but he promises that no matter what ends up coming your way, you’d handle it together as a couple

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

🌹♥️♠️♦️♣️🌹♥️♠️♦️♣️🌹♥️♠️♦️♣️🌹♠️♥️♦️♣️

==================================

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x male reader #twst x male reader #heartslabyul #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x male reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x male reader #deuce spade #deuce spade x male reader #cater diamond #cater diamond x male reader #trey clover #trey clover x male reader

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noroi1000 · 1 year

Text

Out of control 2

Warnings: Yandere

Words: 3k

paring: step-brother Gojo x sister reader

An: I read about such a relationship. And by law, relationships where people are not related by blood are not prohibited. So if yn has a different father and mother than Satoru, and only her mother married his father. They have nothing in common. Such a thing is like strangers to each other, and since they do not have the same genes, such a relationship is not prohibited.

I was asked to write this a while ago on Wattpad. @getosbigballsack, Sorry for reusing this idea😅

You ate your cereal at the table, happily flipping through the sweet, crunchy bits.

You recently returned from school from an extracurricular activity your parents enrolled you in, and your brother returned from his job.

He worked and went to college.

He took the job only to start making money as soon as possible to provide you with a home. A house without your parents. Without someone constantly trying to control you somehow.

To be honest, he preferred it when his Father didn't give a shit about him and didn't spend time at home. Since his old father preferred to run around all day and fuck your mother, he doesn't forbid him. However, your mother still tried to somehow influence your life. Is it because you're still underage? Ever since you arrived at their house, you've been a little afraid to interact with him or his father. However, now your closest person is your oni-chan. Happiness washed over your mother when you found yourself in a new family. But other than that, she knew you'd find it hard to live with people who had nothing to do with you. You come from completely different families. You had a different father. You're not Satoru's sister.

You were supposed to feel happy when you got a room in such a big house. In such a rich house. And you were happy. Your life was about to change dramatically. To move to Tokyo, live in a different house, and live like a very rich family. But you didn't feel anything interesting about looking like everyone else at your school. You didn't care that with your pocket money from your "father" you could go to the most expensive stores in the area and buy designer clothes that others at your school had.

You've stood out enough already. You didn't need school fashion to control you.

You fell in love with your brother, and no one could influence that.

Some girls in your class still think they might have a chance of getting your brother as a boyfriend. They want an older guy who can drive them to the shops, pay for them, and still look good.

When your brother found out, he only said one thing. "I love only you."

You believed him in all this because he truly loved you.

As he pulled his heated tortilla out of the microwave as he passed you, he leaned in to place a kiss on your head.

He placed a plate of his warm food on the table and sat next to you. Reaching for the juice to pour it into the glass he has prepared for you.

"Do you like it?" he asked, watching your jaw move as you munched on the crisps.

"Mmm." You muttered taking another spoonful to your mouth.

"I knew you'd like it. I couldn't find your favourites, so I took these." He smiled and ran his hand through your hair.

You swallowed your food to tell him something.

"You didn't have to buy it." you hummed giving him easier access to stroke your head.

"Don't you like it?" he asked coldly. His smile disappeared for a moment. And in that moment you remembered the existence of his dark side.

But you also love this site. After all, it's part of him.

"I like it! I really like it! But you didn't have to go to all that trouble to get it, nii-chan." You tried to calm him down.

"Trouble? It wasn't trouble for me. Cheering up my little Imoto is something I love to do. So don't think I didn't enjoy it. Besides, I had to buy us some dinner. After all, the old ones are not at home as always." He laughed.

It's kind of sad that his father spends most of his time at his company, and your mother is there with him. Or they go out together. What you don't understand is that they could take you out for the evening as well, but they don't.

Perhaps they both see that you only have the best time with your brother?

"They should be back soon. Do you think they'll be in the mood to sit here with us?" You asked, and your innocence only made his heart beat faster and harder.

You thought so innocently. You were curious whether your parents - ruthless money demons - would want to spend time with you.

Even if Satoru is considered a demon.

Womanizer? The infamous male whore?

He's not like that. Especially because in his heart there is only you. And if he hurt you, he wouldn't even feel the need to live here.

His life would then become empty. And nothing would ever be like before.

He lives to protect you and care for you.

He is in the world only for you.

And now he was just wondering, how had he been able to smile in his life years before he met you?

"How was it at work? Aren't you overwork yourself?" You asked him calmly.

You watched as he popped a mountain of tortilla into his mouth, and bit off a good chunk.

His mouth has always been bigger than yours...

"Hmm?" He grunted, enjoying the taste, but it was also a request for you to explain it more.

You asked so suddenly...

"You go to college, you drive me to school to bring me home later, you take a job. Plus, you're still spending time with me. Isn't that too much?"

"What do you mean by that?" he asked as he put down his food.

"Aren't you tired of doing so much?"

He sighed slowly, and put his elbows on the table. And suddenly he smiled.

"You know I'll do anything to give you the best life, right?"

You nodded. Then he looked at you. His blue eyes so beautiful and happy. You wondered if he had his mother's eyes. Especially since his father doesn't look as good as he does. You never met his mother, and you never will.

"I do it for you. I attend the best college because my father got me a place there. However, it will end soon. I am working to start earning money as soon as possible. To buy a house. For you. For me. So that we can live together without any obstacles."

What he was saying was really a dream... Will your mother even let you go with him?

If he was your real brother, she'd probably allow it.

However, he is a stranger to you who plays your brother.

You're not related at all. You don't even have the same last name.

Your mother has two last names, but for your "good" she decided that even after she took her new husband's last name, you'd stick with your father's last name.

So you are still (l/n).

Would you like to have the same name as Satoru...

But then everyone would want to separate you.

You couldn't be that close because everyone would think you were in an incestuous relationship.

it is not.

You two have nothing in common. Except that your parents are together.

Therefore, you don't have to worry about anything being illegal. He is only two years older than you.

You two could be a couple without any obstacles.

That's the only reason you're glad you two aren't real siblings. Because you can be as close as other siblings can't be.

"Do you think they'll let me?" You asked softly, playing with the flakes floating in the milk.

"Can they forbid you if you grow up?"

"I'm not an adult yet, Toru..."

"Not yet. But you will. My sweet Imoto will grow up someday. And you can do what you want."

"Can I be with you?"

His eyes widened slightly, there were two options for what you said. One thing is whether you can be with him as a sister. And the second is whether you can be with him even closer.

These two options were great for him. But honestly, he preferred the latter.

Cutting off from your parents will be the easiest.

"If you want, little one." He said with a small smile. "Now eat. Everything is to disappear from your bowl."

"That's right, oni-chan." You laughed.

When he sees your smile, it's like it's the only reason for him to live.

It took a good couple of minutes before he came to his senses from looking at you.

"Aren't you eating?" You asked cutely, seeing that his food was on the plate and not in his hands or in his mouth.

"Oh yeah. I just stared. Because you look so cute."

You smiled with a slight blush.

You're used to such compliments from your brother.

Sometimes you wonder if you can call him brother.

By law, you can be in a relationship with him. You don't have the same blood. You don't have the same parents. You are almost strangers to each other. It's just that your parents are married.

However, you have been talking to Him as a brother for several years. But you know that he, as your brother, can't do more for you. That's why you'd rather stop talking to Him like that. And maybe it would turn out that he would like you as something more?

He has told you many times that you can talk to him however you want. So if you talk to him now, maybe he'll clear your doubts?

Maybe he would directly tell you if he would like you as something more or if he just wants to stay with you as his little sister? Because he has a right to have a girlfriend and his own life.

Even if it hurt you, you can't be angry with him.

You love him.

And now he was thinking about something else.

He would like to have you forever.

And as your brother, when you mix together, he won't be able to stop you from looking at other guys.

He would like you to be only his. But he knew that someday you'd be hungry for romantic love from someone. Would you like to have a boyfriend. And you don't have it yet.

Admittedly, he gives you the same thing your boyfriend would give you.

But he didn't know if you would let him closer than he is now. Surely you would let him do something. However, whether you want him or someone else...

He had to keep you for him. He would never let any other man touch you. For someone else to touch you.

Only him.

You are HIS.

And he could repeat it endlessly. Again and again.

You wouldn't have the courage to ask him if he wanted you more than that.

However, he is open to you.

Such questions would be at the beginning of the day.

Questions about your love.

He took another big bite of his food.

And when he swallowed, he looked at the wooden table next to his plate.

Ask or not?

You have to ask.

That's not why he's been telling himself for years that you belong to him.

He didn't show everyone that you belonged to him.

"I have a question for you." He said suddenly, and pushed the plate of his food away.

"Hm? What is this, nii-chan?"

Nii-chan... You say that to him. That's so sweet. But if you called him Toru all the time, or baby, it would be even better.

"You want to live with me forever?"

He was still looking at the table.

"I want so much." you said calmly.

You couldn't read anything from his face.

"We will live together and we will live together." He smiled at you, closing one eye to add to his charm.

You smiled hard.

That was the smile he wanted to see.

A smile that belongs to him.

He will be with you forever.

However...

"But there is one condition for this to happen." he said showing one finger of his hand.

You looked at him innocently. You didn't know what to expect. It was so sweet.

"Oni-chan?"

"There is only one condition you must meet for this to happen. Imoto-chan."

"What is this?"

His smile widened. You really wanted to know what to do to make it happen.

You really are perfect.

"(y/n)-chan..."

You waited patiently for him to say it.

"When you grow up, let's get married."

That way you'll be his forever.

No one can forbid you.

You're not really siblings.

You sat on his lap for the rest of your dinner. In one chair, with his hand around your waist.

Your answer didn't shock him at all.

When you mix together, you'll have his name.

And a ring on your finger.

Even if someone may not like it. You're not doing anything wrong.

His lips were suddenly placed on the side of your neck.

His tiny kiss tickled you.

You started to giggle lightly.

"Toru. Stop. It tickles." You said wrapping your head around his.

"I love you." He said to your skin. And his voice clearly showed that he was smiling.

And suddenly two people appeared near you.

"Satoru? What's going on here?"

You quickly turned your head to the side to see the surprised faces of your mother and Satoru's father.

However, he paid no attention.

His head was still on your shoulder as he held you close to his body.

"Satoru." His father said firmly.

Only then did he look back at them.

He gave them a cold look. If looks could kill, they'd be dead a few times already. However, you can only die once.

When they didn't say anything, he went back to resting his head on your shoulder.

"Satoru, what are you doing here? With (y/n)." He said stepping closer.

"Can't I hug her?" he muttered a bit hostilely. Sometimes his head blocked your view, so you gave up looking in that direction.

"But it -"

"You forbid us to even hug. What about something else. Do you think this is our dream? You wanted to make us happy, didn't you?" He cut him off.

His head on your shoulder didn't move.

"I just want to talk about what's going on here right now. Is the way you two sit a normal position for siblings?"

"We are not siblings. We have nothing in common. We don't even have the same last name. We have nothing that connects us."

"..."

He didn't know what to answer to that.

"Do you think I would let her go? You wanted to send her to boarding school."

What?

Why don't you know about it.

"Satoru, it's not like that–." your mother started but he interrupted her.

"I'm talking to my father. You are guilty of agreeing to everything."

"Son, it's only for your own good. You're an adult, you'll graduate. You'll start working, even in my company. At your age, I already had an arranged marriage with your mother. you should-"

"Should I look for a wife?" he asked mockingly. "Why should I look when I've already found one?"

You felt his grip on you tighten.

"You-."

"You could have prevented it. If you had given her the same last name as mine, this wouldn't have happened. But you didn't want to make such big changes..."

"Satoru –."

"We're moving out in a few days. To the house you bought me, and on my birthday you signed it in my name."

"(y/n)!" your mother screamed.

You looked at her.

If you have anything to say, it's that she can't take care of you. And she makes sure that her next husband doesn't leave her. That's why he doesn't leave Satoru's father a step. And still supports his words. Even if your Father died. Money, power. She loves that about Satoru's father. And they met together so suddenly. Do you believe they fell in love? But will it last...?

Your Satoru didn't want you to say anything.

He will take care of everything.

You didn't say anything. Even though you wanted so badly to get her all those years she left you to be with your stepfather.

You could be grateful for that. Because because she left you at home, Satoru started taking care of you.

"Are you moving out? (y/n)! I am your mother! You are 16 years old! You can't live apart!"

"You can tell she lives with her brother. Or you can say that she lives with her older boyfriend. Or even with your fiancé. I do not care. I just take her with me. You could have prevented it until I started getting involved with my little sister. But now... It's impossible. You can accept it or not. I don't care either. You cannot control us. And you can't forbid me to have it. Besides, for you guys, it'll stay in the family. We will not bring any other people into the family."

Suddenly he stood up taking you in his arms.

"You didn't give her my last name so I'll give it to her." He said as he walked past them as you held onto his neck and he slowly started up the stairs.

____

"O-Oni-chan..." you moaned as he set you down on his bed, hovering over you with a small smile.

"Satoru. Call me Satoru now." he said, suddenly bringing his lips to yours.

"Toru..."

"We're moving out. You see, we'll live together."

"When will I have your last name?" you asked, playing with his hair.

"When you're grown up. The moment you want it. Because you are mine. And for you, everything will become possible. I'll take the stars down for you. I will fulfill your every wish."

And your desire was to live happily with him. Only you.

You pressed him against your neck, causing him to lie on top of you.

And hugging him tight, you wanted to be with him forever. Always only with him.

#jjk #gojo satoru #gojo x y/n #gojou satoru x you #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #yandere gojo x reader #yandere gojo satoru

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twisted-wonderland-for-the-soul · 1 month

Text

Twst siblings (kinda?)

Related or siblings in original world

I've seen imagines and small writings floating around about mc/Yuu knowing or being aware of versions of the twst boys in their world but imagine if they're actually siblings or related in one way or another!!

Like imagine some of the boys thinking y/n looks familiar but not being able to understand WHY!?

People are shocked y/n can deal with (twst boy)’s tendencies so easily like they did it a thousand times before. Because some of the boys share similar or exact same tendencies as their world's version!

Y/n knowing but holding off on telling them to not freak them out!

Y/n going out of their way to hang out with the twst boy that is the alternate version of their sibling/relative cause THEY FEEL LIKE HOME! THEY MISS THEIR FAMILY!!

Obviously with some of the boys Y/n was thrown off when first meeting them due to stuff like the intensity of hair or eye colors that are unnatural in their world or traits like animal features, horns, teeth, fire hair, or merforms.

(Older Sibling) Y/n Rosehearts

Y/n Rosehearts with red hair and gray eyes.

Riddle’s older sibling in y/n’s world (4 year age gap)!

Hated their mom and her awful tendencies

CALLED CPS ON MOM AS A CHILD WHEN HER BEHAVIOR TOWARDS RIDDLE WENT TO FAR!!

Y/n and Riddle Rosehearts who for a short time wound up in the system, but eventually got adopted by Chenya’s family!

Y/n and Riddle Rosehearts who were dealt a bad hand but are now together and happy with no over the top expectations being pushed onto them!

Y/n and Riddle Rosehearts who got to grow up with a decent childhood!!

(Younger Sibling) Y/n Spade

Y/n Spade black hair and blue eyes.

Deuce’s baby sibling that he loves more than anything.

Y/n Spade who doesn't even remember their father at all and if he ever shows back up Deuce WILL throw hands.

Y/n Spade who tries their best to cheer on their brother academically when he’s struggling but Deuce still becomes a delinquent.

Y/n Spade who tries their best to stick to their brother but gets gently pushed aside for delinquent activities.

Y/n and Deuce’s first serious sibling fight when Deuce bleached his hair cause Y/n Spade's favorite thing is that Mom, Deuce and them all had the exact same hair shade and was broken hearted when they saw his hair.

Y/n Spade being another reason that Deuce finally stops the deliquest stuff after he hears his mom and grandma talking, cause they started sobbing uncontrollably when he came home all beat up.

Deuce who gets his shit together and not only wants to be an honor student for his Ma but also to be a good role model for his sibling.

(Youngest sibling) Y/n Kingscholar

Y/n Kingscholar who has brown hair and green eyes.

Y/n who is Leona and Falena’s youngest sibling.

Falena being a little disgruntled because y/n always preferred Leona.

Leona being smug cause while he won’t inherit his fathers company he has something his brother doesn't. Their little siblings unwavering loyalty and admiration.

Y/n Kingscholar who loves to play wrestle with their big brothers and always SOMEHOW manages to win!

Y/n Kingscolar who loves playing chess with Leona even if they always lose, because they know Leona is having fun.

Y/n Kingscholar who forces her brothers to watch any Lion King Content with them regardless of how old they are.

Y/n Kingscolar who limits Leona’s naps to only a few times a day to help him be productive (much to his chagrin).

(Half-Sibling) Y/n Ashengrotto

Y/n Ashengrotto with light brown hair and light blue eyes.

Y/n Ashengrotto who was born from Azul’s Mom’s second marriage.

Azul is uncertain about having a younger sibling for a while after the birth but realizes in his little child mind that Y/n is family and they probably won't bully him when they get older.

Azul grows to love his younger sibling and Y/n’s first word being Zuzu.

Y/n getting older (like 5 or 6) and finding out why their brother is so sad when he comes home from school and now has a vendetta against the bullies at Zuzu’s school.

Y/n thinking that Leech twins are the bullies when they first meet (cause they were teasing Zuzu) and kicks them hard enough to bring them down. Much to the horror of the Ashengrotto family and the amusement of the Leech family.

(said incident leads to Y/n being Floyd’s favorite)

Y/n Ashengrotto who happily plays along with Azul’s schemes, but also reassures him they love him and he doesn't have to push himself.

(Triplet) Y/n Leech

Y/n Leech with Jade’s eye heterochromia (dark brown, light brown) and Floyd’s hair mutation (black strand placement, on brown hair)

Y/n who either just gets called just Y/n or lil’ eel by Floyd

Y/n being the more sickly sibling when growing up which made Floyd and Jade a little over protective.

Jade and Floyd fighting over who gets to monopolize y/n’s time only for y/n to get swept away by mama or papa Leech.

Y/n being the more soft hearted of the siblings much to Jade and Floyd’s exasperation.

Y/n Leech being kept in the dark growing up about their family’s shady business practices unlike their brothers.

Y/n Leech who knows how to navigate Floyd’s mood swings and Jade’s Mushroom obsession and shady tendencies.

Y/n Leech who just likes spending time with their brothers exploring the beach near their family home.

(Big age gap little sibling) Y/n Schoenheit

Y/n Schoenheit who shares Vil’s rare violet eyes and light blond hair.

12 year old Vil who was very disappointed in his father when he brought home a baby sibling that was the outcome from a one night stand he had 9 months ago.

Mom didn't want the child and gave Papa Schoenheit full custody.

Vil takes awhile to bond with Y/n, but when they bond Y/n cries when Vil is out of sight for too long.

Y/n having to be brought on a movie/tv/photo set on occasion.

Y/n Schoenheit who loves their big brother and dislikes Neige.

Vil carries around little Y/n when there are breaks on set, which gives people another option on Vil.

Toddler Y/n Schoenheit who is allowed to do Vil’s make-up and hair no matter how sloppy it is!

Vil whose jealousy of Neige dulls because he knows that no matter what anyone says or what roles he’s given. He will always feel like the fairest one of all when his sibling gives him that completely starstruck expression, that is reserved for him and his father.

Vil who fights his father tooth and nail to keep Y/n Schoenheit out of the spotlight when they get older. He loves his baby sibling too much to let the entertainment industry fuck them up like it did him.

Y/n Schoenheit who knows knows the best ways to take care of themselves cause of Vil (make-up, hair, skincare)

(twin siblings) Y/n Felmier

Y/n Felmier who has dirty blond hair and blue-green eyes just like their brother.

Epel and Y/n Felmier are inseparable, basically joined at the hip.

The double trouble absolute troublemaking gremlins

They always have eachothers back but when they fight it's like cats and dogs.

Y/n Felmier who loves the farm but also has one of those small town to big city dreams.

Y/n Felmier who has more feminine hobbies compared to Epel.

Y/n Felimer whose dreams of going to the big city always sets Epel off, cause it feels like they're trying to abandon the family and farm to him.

Y/n Felmier who despite having a more feminine nature then Epel WILL back him up in a fight without hesitation.

(Middle Sibling) Y/n Shroud

Y/n Shroud who has dark brown (nearly black) hair and brown eyes like her brothers! BUT their hair is dyed the same shade of blue!

There is only a year difference between the siblings' ages: Idia born first, Y/n the year after, and Ortho the year after them.

If Idia is the moon and Ortho is the sun, then Y/n Shroud are the stars!

Idia is the introvert, Ortho is the extrovert, and Y/n is the ambivert.

Y/n Shroud is the perfect balance of their siblings and their brothers are grateful.

Idia adores them both and tries to spoil them rotten.

(there is no family curse but there is unfortunately a history of depression in the family which hits Idia the most out of the siblings)

Y/n Shroud is the one who has to remind Ortho during Idia’s down times that their brother is not ignoring them on purpose and just needs some time to himself.

Sibling trips to anime conventions! Group cosplays!

All siblings started dying their hair blue when Idia was 17, Y/n was 16, and Ortho was 15.

Mama and Papa Shroud were very startled when they came home to see all three of their children not only bleached but dyed their hair bright blue. (The siblings shared bathroom was DESTROYED)

(can you imagine post-isekai Y/n Shroud after finding out what happened to Ortho after book 6)

(Younger sibling) Y/n Draconia

Y/n Draconia who is a carbon copy of Levan with brown hair and amber eyes. (in contrast to Malleus being a mini Meleanor.)

The Draconia family is definitely an old money family, probably descended from royalty.

Malleus was 5 when Y/n was born and was so excited he has a cute little sibling now!

A common occurrence is when Levan or Meleanor go to get the baby (to feed them or something) and the baby is gone! Malleus has taken the baby to show them his favorite gargoyles around the gothic manor.

Big brother Malleus who throws a tantrum when he has to go to school cause he wants to stay at home with the baby!

Big brother Malleus who at night sneaks out of his room and goes to the babies room and curls up in the crib with them.

Y/n Draconia who loves their weird big brother with all their little heart!

Unfortunately Malleus and Y/n grow up very emotionally dependent on each other for various reasons. (parents away on business, lack of friends, etcetera.)

If you see one the other isn't far behind.

UNCLE LILIA!

Their BOTH are obsessed with Gargoyles!

Y/n Draconia who is the only one who can calm down Malleus temper tantrums.

Y/n Draconia who gives off princess vibes!

(Adopted sibling/child) Y/n Vanrouge

Y/n Vanrouge with red hair and blue eyes. (and ends up dying it black and red later down the line)

Y/n Vanrouge who came into Lilia’s care when Silver was 2!

Y/n Vanrouge with Punk dad Lilia in the first years of their life along with big brother Silver.

Y/n Vanrouge who trails after her brother and his loud friend whenever they can.

Y/n Vanrouge who is taught how to help whenever Silver has a narcolepsy attack.

Silver Vanrouge who will happily let his little sibling hold his hand whenever they want.

Lilia dropped his punk aesthetic when his kids were pre-teens.

Y/n Vanrouge finds Lilia’s old clothes when they are 15 and steals them. Lilia is amused when he comes home to Silver helping his sibling dye their hair black and red (general Lilia hair).

Y/n Vanrouge who takes up cooking (for the safety of the household) and finds out they rather enjoy it!

Silver is grateful!!!

Lilia Vanrouge who was thrown into fatherhood head first but absolutely adores his baby bats.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW imagine the twst boys finding OUT about it! I feel like some would be envious like Malleus, Idia and Ortho!

I need someone more talented than me to write iit. I don't think I can do it justice if I decided to write short story versions!

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #twst vil #twst idia shroud #twst lilia #twst azul #twst malleus #twst jade #twst silver #twst ortho #twst epel #twst leona #twst deuce #twst fanfic #twst falena #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines

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stvnszlr · 3 months

Note

HI! Here to beg u for Steven adhd headcanons

Pls i promise i'll be good this year.

oh my goodness … so um this is something i am like way too passionate about !! im going to seem like the craziest crazy person EVER by sharing this cuz i wrote .… a lot but u guys gotta stick with me okay you’ll see the vision

THANK YOU for asking this btw ! this is one of the things that makes me relate to steven the most ,,>_<,, and i will literally talk abt it anytime

☆ steven adhd hc’s / reasons why i think it’s possible he has adhd ! ☆ ( coming from someone who has a severe combined type adhd diagnosis )

please note this is all just speculation !! i’ve noticed some connections between his behavior / things he’s spoken about and adhd symptoms , but i am certainly no doctor and the only one who can truly determine any of this is steven himself . these observations are mostly just for my comfort as a neurodivergent person :)

ohhh stevie is a BIG stimmer :) he taps on everything in sight , he also hums a lot and likes to move his body ! bouncing , jumping , flapping , shaking , jiggling , playing with his hair ( i have video evidence sue me >:( )

people often describe him as “twitchy” , randomly making odd movements or sounds that can surprise and confuse those around him

vocal stims , dude . like my man is a parrot he’ll repeat random phrases over and over without thinking about it , just going about his day mumbling the most obscure sentences without even realizing

i’ve also noticed from watching videos he has a big BIG tendency to repeat things other people say !! i think that’s a combo of vocal stimming and also struggling to fit in when making conversation

he has literally confessed to having sensory issues related to taste and texture ??!?!? so i imagine he has them with other things too it’s mostly touch or sound related things that really get to him and can cause overwhelm but honestly anything that catches him at the right time will have him retreating inside himself and blocking everything out , unable to respond cuz he can’t think or listen

also seems to struggle with clothes touching his body ! he is always in loose tank tops and wears a lot of cropped pants / shorts , and has never really worn a lot of accessories unlike his bandmates . this could definitely be attributed to sensory issues , especially hating the feeling of wearing jewelry ( rings especially ) and also makeup on his face

drums !!! poppy loves drumming , it is SUCH a good stimulant for his brain cuz it works muscle memory , gives a dopamine rush , and combines both creative thought with an athletic activity

hyperfixations oh my god he is so bad . so so bad . he’ll pick up something for like a few weeks and dedicate EVERYTHING to it just to never pick it up again

very typical hyperactive type adhd , trouble focusing and sitting still OH MY GOD this man cannot sit normally for the life of him

um hyperfocus also !! drums is prolly his biggest one but if it’s something he’s super tuned into he can just . sit there and mindlessly work on it for HOURS before someone notices and is like hello take a break ??

didn’t like school cuz he always felt like he wasn’t smart , he was actually really interested by some subjects but just couldn’t keep up as a student :/ he also started getting into skating and music which were much better dopamine activities than school so he kinda just . quit ?

part of why his mom kicked him out so young , he was impulsive and reckless and very VERY high energy , easily irritated and his emotions had no filter / couldn’t control them or his actions based on them

this poor kid is so forgetful . he really cannot remember shit and it gets him in trouble a lot ! he’s gotta be reminded by the guys about EVERYTHING and it annoys them to no end , and steven always feels bad cause he wishes he could remember , but for some reason he forgets every time !

it’s where his irritability comes from too , he sometimes flips like a switch and can get really defensive and aggressive . he’ll lash out and turn really angry — not in a super serious way , but it’s the reason he gets in so many little fights with all the other guys , especially axl .

this is also tied in with the rlly strong sense of justice that neurodivergent people feel !! the reason he’d stand up and talk back when everyone else could just let it go

easier to fall into addiction and harder to get out of it . places a vice on his brain , trapping him in dependency on the drugs and making it so much more difficult to quit — why it took him so much longer to get sober than any of the others , even after all his health scares

drugs are also a coping mechanism for sensory issues and that awful , isolating feeling of being built just slightly different than everyone else

UM ???? LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT STEVEN POST GNR + LEAVING THE BAND IS JUST SCREAMING RSD ??? like the abandonment issues built up from his childhood ON TOP of being insanely sensitive to disappointing others / feeling unwanted ?? yeah i fucking understand why he couldn’t let go of it for almost twenty years of his life that’s like the worst possible thing to go through as someone hypersensitive to feelings of rejection bro . oh my god .

rsd also attributes to him being really eager to please especially with friends , and trying to talk himself up and seem cool and on their level and worth keeping around :(

i do also think it is likely that he learned to mask a LOT of his symptoms , of course not all of them ( as we can pretty obviously see in like . any video ever taken of him ) but a lot of the less socially acceptable ones he naturally forced himself to hide :(

#thanks for listening to my yapping #i am begging this man to take the brown scales test he would be off the charts #steven adler #saz speaks #saz requests !#guns n roses #gnr #steven gnr #steven adler adhd #guns n roses headcannons #steven adler imagine #adhd #neurodivergent

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joesalw · 4 months

Note

Ok I'm sorry but this is gonna be a long rant.

I am an ex swiftie (also a minor) and I joined the fandom back in 2022 after midnights released. Before that I had heard a few songs but I barely knew anything about Taylor before 2020 and I did not know about the Kimye stuff or anything.

When the bejeweled music video was released I did not realize the easter eggs so thus I thought that I need to become parasocial and I NEED to know everything that taylor has done every minute of the day (referencing Do you really wanna know where I was April 29?)

I went deeper into the hole. I started getting obsessed with Taylor. I clicked on every video , post and podcast mentioning her. I genuinely became a parasocial fan. I only heard her songs and barely cared about other artists. I hated on her exes (Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer especially) because I believed that they had hurt Taylor to no extent. I still don't like them/am neutral but I don't hate them anymore. In march I joined tumblr because I heard Taylor was on here and I have no other social media to support her from so I came here to give her my support.

In April , the breakup happened. I was genuinely devastated. Joe was and is an amazing person. I was shocked to see her move on so quickly and date m*tty he*ly . I was even as a child shocked as to how someone can move on so fast. But also move on to someone so problematic after calling herself an activist? Idk what was wrong with her. But IG as long as she is happy.

She broke up with him. We all rejoiced. Speak now TV was also announced! Yay!

I remember so well on 7th July I was in school and I was so fucking excited about it coming so soon I couldn't sit still. I was counting down minutes until it's release even tho I did not have any devices to listen to it on. My friends were so happy to see me happy and excited af.

I went home and heard speak now tv. Amazing experience for me at that time.

I became the person who said shit like : I hate everyone but Taylor and Taylor is a gift to this Earth and etc etc.

But the amount of joe hate and joeover and joebless jokes annoyed me. Why were we hating a person who was in her life at her worst moments? Taylor would never condone or allow this.

But boy was I wrong.

Most of the hate against joe was my #Strike 1 for leaving the fandom.

Then came along Traylor. I was like oh ok as long as she is happy :))

Then she started associating with the nfl people. Br*ttany M*homes and Abuser bitch.

When I heard of this I was like wtf Taylor???

Weren't you the one who was going off about being on the right side of the history and believing victims?

I was like it's fine maybe she doesn't know or maybe she will stop once she knows.

She didn't

Then she won person of the year. I was already very unhappy with Taylor at that time. But I still was like Yay! Congrats! But maybe you shouldn't be the one to win it?

Then the doxxing by a swiftie happened. It was #strike 3

I left the fandom. I still had hope she would change.

Now after seeing her jets emissions (I'm a huge Environmentalist and a feminist so this shit bothered the living helm out of me) and her continuously hanging out with brittany piece of shit and all the joe hate going on, I am beginning to despise her.

I had initally blocked hate pages like yours but Now I open your posts everyday and check them because I relate to them sm.

I went from a person defending every action of Taylor's, being the only one in my entire theatre who knew the lyrics to all the songs of the eras tour movie , having Taylor as my top artist of the year with more than 60 percent of the songs being hers to despising her so much for being fake and stuck up.

I remember after I left the fandom and not many people knew about it , A classmate said something against Taylor and her songs directly to me daring me to oppose it and I genuinely wanted to cry because I thought that I would now always be associated with this fandom.

The ex swiftie in me genuinely wants 2016 to happen again so Taylor will be removed from the pedestal she is put on by so many. She needs to be saved from herself and her parasocial fans.

And I used to say I would love Taylor forever but I suppose forever really is the sweetest con.

TLDR :- I USED TO BE A PARASOCIAL SWIFTIE WHO USED TO LIVE AND BREATHE TAYLOR BUT NOW I'M SLOWLY STARTING TO DESPISE HER.

Sorry this was so long I had to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading it!

ex swifties are my favourite people in this planet rn

#anti taylor swift #ex swifties

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thieves-in-the-palace · 9 months

Note

jumps into ur ask box hello. hi. what are ur ng+ time loop thoughtz

god i have. a lot of thoughts about ng+ time loops in general. in relation to this post tho i specifically have Some Thoughts about Akira going through the loops trying to figure out why he's stuck there, how to get out, etc and also having to contend with Akechi dying every time but also like…the inevitable emotional cycles that come with watching the same guy die over and over.

✧ "Who is more unlucky here? The one who will die every time but never remember? Or the one who will live every time and always remember?" –> "Me. I'm the more unlucky one. What's this dude's fucking problem" –> "What's MY fucking problem? Why does this keep happening to me? Why doesn't anyone else remember? Why can't I escape this? Why does Akechi have to die every time??" –> "What's this dude's FUCKING problem–"

✧ does it count as a parasocial relationship if you know the guy irl and also it's based on the weird sense of kinship that comes with being doomed to repeatedly live through the same year over and over while he's doomed to die every time. hand in hand they are BOTH doomed baybee

✧ You know how Akechi is often portrayed as having Death Note-esque internal monologues when interacting with Akira? That but Akira is having his own wildly different internal monologue that sounds a lot like "okay you shit idiot. what's it gonna take to keep you from dying"

✧ The rest of the Thieves are surprised when Akira doesn't seem to react to Akechi's death, but they figure he's trying to keep it together for the sake of the mission. Truly tho Akira is mentally cussing Akechi out and lamenting the fact they're gonna have to fight god again soon. rip lawboy you would've loved fighting ol' yaldy

✧ Futaba hacks Akira's phone (for enrichment) and sees his most recent google search "is it bad to stop feeling bad after the 15th time you watch the same person die or are you allowed to start getting annoyed about it" – maybe he's going through something similar to what she went through w/ her mom? She starts prodding him about his past, but it doesn't really get her anywhere…

(If u want to get even more into Game-Based Reality Nonsense u could even say that Futaba can't find anything on Akira aside from his criminal record. No hospital records, no school info, no nothing. It's like the guy didn't even exist before the day he got arrested. Akira might not have any answers either, which, u know, doesn't help with the mental strain caused by being stuck in a time loop. Does he even exist outside of the loop? If the loop ended, would he disappear with it? etc etc)

✧ At the beginning of each loop, Akira makes a list of things that might break the time loop, updating it as needed. "Akechi survives" is at the top of the list every time bc it's one of the only things that never happens.

✧ Akira just generally having a slightly shorter temper w/ Akechi bc truly. How do u go through this sort of ordeal w/o wanting to rattle him like a maraca after a point. He won't hesitate to call Akechi cringe when the guy leans too heavily on his Pleasant Lawboy™ persona.

They wind up sparring in Mementos more frequently bc this Akira is more willing to entertain Akechi's bloodlust; fighting is a good outlet for Akira's own frustrations. Akechi keeps getting more and more annoyed each time tho bc why tf can this attic trash keep up with him? How is he predicting Akechi's attacks so well? (Akechi's going to start spitting fire if he ever finds out Akira has been holding back during their fights lmao. Akira can easily trounce him in 1v1 since like…3 loops ago?)

✧ Akira spending so much time annoyed and even furious w/ Akechi for not having enough self-preservation to survive even one loop only to ultimately circle right back into The Guilt + Sorrow bc god, all this time and he still can't figure out how to keep this fuckhead alive?

And it IS guilt Akira feels, unfortunately. Makoto and Futaba were both antagonistic towards the Phantom Thieves at first, too. Just spending some time with them was enough to reveal how getting screwed over by adults guided their actions; it doesn't absolve them of threatening the group, but it makes them easier to forgive.

Akira wonders, sometimes, if he's too quick to forgive Akechi. He's killed people, and he claims to be perfectly okay with being a murderer so long as it means he can reach his goals. But Akechi is a liar all the way down, too, because a cold-hearted killer wouldn't sacrifice himself for his enemies. He wouldn't give up his only shot at vengeance so easily after going through years of hell to achieve it. Yet Akechi still dies in that boiler room every time. Akechi never truly hates Akira, and Akira can't quite bring himself to ever truly hate Akechi, either.

But then Akira sees Akechi alive and well and smiling for the camera in the next loop, and he gets the abrupt urge to lay the guy out.

✧ "I want you to live. I also never want to see you again."

✧ And all of this is w/o getting into P5R's third semester hijinks. Akira thinking he's finally escaped the time loop only to realize that something Worse is happening now.

And Akechi is still there, because of fucking course he is–

#sorry for the delay on this btw! (<-cursed w/ tendency to draft asks and forget to post them)#ask #anonymous #persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #goro akechi #Kidd speaking #ng+ time loops are. my beloveds my breads n butters #this isn't intended to be shuake but it can EASILY be read as such jhfgfgjhfg #ng+ time loop v1

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silent-raven13 · 30 days

Text

Miles' love

There's days when Miles is overwhelmed with the world, where his anxiety goes haywire and got him going through panic attacks. Sometimes he just needs someone to be comfortable with or be by himself. Mostly he either talks to his Hobie about personal issues, sometimes talk to his parents like stuff about school and relationship advices.

Now, many seem that Miles' is the princess type always being taken care of, always spoiled with love and being cherished like a rare gem. That may be true especially, with his punker boyfriend. Hobie had always shower his Sunflower with gifts, love, anything and everything to make sure he is happy.

But, this isn't about Miles being taken care- No, this is about Miles' being a supportive and loving partner.

Now, many would assume Hobie Brown is a punker without no issues or problems, except if he's being Spider-Punk. All Spider-Heroes have dealt with trauma and lost of their loved ones, and being a Hero- err, he doesn't believe in heroism, anyway, the struggle of protecting the innocent is already relatable with Spider-people.

However, not many knows he too have his own depression, which Miles have been very aware. it started when Hobie mentions his neglectful mother and absent father, how much he hated them for leaving such a dysfunctional family. The worst part being poor with so many siblings and trying to survive dealing with an alcoholic mother. One of the major cause of his depression when he sometimes looks over a happy family, seeing both parents loving their child can hit a nerve.

He always wanted to be loved, to be hold and often to question if he desire it. Sometimes he believe he's trash and desire to be tossed aside, because of his abusive mum's words cut him like a knife. Many think words don't bother him, it's because he had the biggest BULLY of all, his mother! Foul words have been thrown at him in such an early age that he could remember his mom sneered at how much he look a lot like his father or how ugly he is. The distasteful foul slurs she uses in spiteful hate on her children shows how bitter she became when her husband left them- her!

So yeah, he never found loving parents, and his siblings can only do so much. He always wanted to have a family that would love him. In honesty, he does get jealous at his friends' connection with their families. Of course, he loves and cherish the family he build! That's the whole point, a person create their own community, their own family with trust and love. Yet...

Ha, it's always that yet, funny?

The punker yearn to be loved, to be worth it. There's times he believe he give so much and in the end he believe he isn't worth of love. Isn't worth of being with his Sunflowers. Too flawed. Too messed up to be with his darling Miles. No, he sees how much Miles can do so much better than him- WAY BETTER!

Ganke would be perfect him.

Is always his final thoughts or many a bloke with money and kindness would be better for his Miles. These dark thoughts got him restless, spend days not sleeping well. Smoking, drinking and doing a bit of drugs would help numb the pain, and he would carefully to use a little.

Don't want to tweet out being a crackhead on the slums of New York in his world. He refuses that lifestyle, he almost went there and it was hell crawling back out especially without support.

The Punker sat on the edge of his boathouse having a smoke; a little cigarette. Days like this makes him crave for a cigarette. Just when the twenty year old tries to quit, it always comes back to him.

Miles is gonna hate me for this. Nah, he'll for sure leave. i don't deserve him. I don't deserve to be love...

He looks at the river seeing how calm it is.

Everyone is only friends with me because I don't give a shit. No one ask for my opinion or how I'me doing... I'm a shit person.

He sighs feeling his depression hitting hard.

Maybe I should call Miles- No, he doesn't want to see me like this.

He always prefer Hobie when he's cooler. The Punker believed his Sunflower wants him to be the rock, the wall that protects the two.

It's better if I just deal with this on my own.

He had trouble calling out for help, too. It's difficult for him to talk about his personal troubles rather making everything into riddles or jokes. It's a way to shield him off from the world and from his Sunflower. He knows he shouldn't, before he was about to go to his bedroom.

An orange portal opens up right in the middle of the boathouse, Miles jumps out looking at his partner. This time the nineteen year old took off his Spider-man mask to show a frown, to go over to hug him.

Hobie looked surprised for the moment, "Luv, what are you doing here?" He quickly tap his cigarette bud out.

His boyfriend hugs him tighter, "I had a feeling you weren't feeling well."

"How?"

"You're not the only that gone through this kind of stuff." Miles softly spoke, "I noticed yesterday you were quiet and distant like I was a virus. My Spider Senses been going off too. Hobie, what's wrong? You can talk to me." He kisses his Hobie's cheek, "Mi amor, please. I know, your going through with something."

"I..." The Punker frowns giving a sad puppy pout with his inky eyes looking teary then he sighs being silent.

Great, now he'll get mad and leave me. All because I don't want to bloody talk! Hobart, you are one fucking wanker!

Instead of Miles being upset with the answer, he completely understood. See, he had a feeling his boyfriend might be sensitive to talk about certain stuff, so he went to Dr. Sims for advice. Rather than demanding or expecting an answer so quick, it was best to be there to listen. Dr. Sims recommended to be patient. So Miles will, gladly being the partner his Moonflower needs.

Miles cup his punker's face pulling him into a gentle kiss on the lips. "Whatever you're going through, I'm here with you." He pulls him into another tight hug, "We don't have to talk, we can be quiet, snuggling together. You know, you have me to cry on. Take all the time you need, Hobie. I love you and I'm not leaving your side." Another kiss on the punker's cheek.

Hobie felt tears coming down his cheek as he sniffs. Miles wiped them away, and gave another kiss on his boyfriend's face. "Thanks, luv... I don't fucking deserve you." Hobie finally hugs his Sunflower tightly as he weeps to him. "Sorry...Sorry, luv. I just feel like shit today!"

Miles hugs him tighter, with his face being buries into Hobie's shoulder as he spoke, "Bae- mi alma, mi carińo! I love you, and everything about you that includes your flaws. We deserve each other! You're so worth it! I'm happy being with you." He took his boyfriends' face, again to say to his face, "Hobie Laurence Brown, I fucking love you! Your mine and I will never let you go!"

"Fuck, luv. You always have a way for words." Hobie gave a small smile through his cries, he sniffs before kissing his Sunflower. "You're my everything, luv. I just often think-" Miles cut his off, "Don't ever think like that! I will always be with you! You and me are soulmates, remember! You and I made a promise we riding this train till we die."

"Heh, you're right, luv. I just-" He buries his face into his Miles' chest to breaths in his scent. "I'm sorry..."

"Shh, it's okay. Come, I'll take you to your room! Did you eat anything? Had some water?" Miles picks his boyfriend up which caught the punker off guard. It's kinda funny seeing Miles being shorter than him picking him up like a girlfriend, especially when it's a hug carry style. Then again, Spider-man powers!

"Sweeping off me feet, Sunflower? To make me feel better..." Hobie jokes.

"We both know I wear the pants of this relationship!" Miles giggles as he happily carries his boo to his bedroom, so the two can cuddle and spend some quality time. This is the perfect time for Miles to show all his love, self care to his man, and cook for him! This is the perfect cure to making his Hobie feeling better. Everyone needs some self-care from time to time.

It wasn't long till Hobie his cuddling with his Sunflower on their bed having giggles and laughter in the room as they play with the electric guitar. Miles' love is always special to him, and he knows no one will never replace that!

#punkflower #miles morales #hobie brown #spiderman #across the spider verse #fanfic

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