#BUT MOVING ON TO THE OTHER MOMENT I GOT REMINDED OF

[luvfy0dor]

“Your Handprint's on my Soul ♡⁠˖” BSD men x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

warnings; established relationship (Fyodor only), first interactions, kisses, Dazais can be platonic or romantic

description; aus/tropes with BSD characters, inspired loosley by my old post about book types/tropes

A/n; CHAT IM SPEEDRUNNING THIS AS I WRITE THE A/N IM ONLY 2/3 OF THE WAY DONE W NIKOLAIS AND NO ONE ELSE IS DONE EXCWPT DAZAIS BULLET POINT AND ITS 2 HRS TILL POST TIME GOTTA LOCK IN ALSO TYSM FOR 700 💖💖💖

⑅ Osamu Dazai ⑅

• There was only one bed when Dazai appeared on your doorstep one evening. You don't know where he came from and he wouldn't tell you, but he would certainly tell you he wasn't letting you sleep anywhere but the bed, even if you wouldnt allow him to either.

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'Knock knock knock' was the first thing you heard when you woke from your slumber in the middle of the night. You felt a little unsettled, but still tiptoed out of bed to the door, peering through the peephole only to see the big head of your coworker and friend on the other side of the door. You huffed and unlocked the deadbolt and opened up. "What are you doing here this late at night?" You asked, rubbing your right eye with the palm of your hand and yawning. "Oh, nothing much, just here for a stroll! It's been quite the long time no see, no?" He says, letting himself in and taking off his shoes at the door. "I saw you..." You peered over at the digital clock on your nightstand table down the hallway. "Like, 7 hours ago. And you texted me 3." You sigh and pull up your pajama pants. "Can I sleepover?" Your brows furrowed at his question.

"Can you sleepover- Osamu, we have work in the morning and- ugh, you know what, yeah, you're already here and it's raining, isn't it? How are you completely dry? I...I have so many questions that I'm not gonna ask right now. You can sleep in my bed, just don't touch anything else in my room, especially nothing in or on my nightstand, got it?" He shook his head and steered you towards your room with his hands on your shoulders. "Oh no, that'd be rude of me to take your bed! I'll take the couch." You shook your head and yanked him gently by the wrist. "No, you're taking the bed-" "why don't we both take the bed?" You were silent for a moment. "Yeah, sure, I don't want to keep going back and forth with this." You say with a sleepy shrug. He walked in front of you to your bedroom like he lived here on the regular and tossed his coat aside. You crawled back into the bed, pulling the covers up to your nose and feeling the bed dip beside you when Dazai crawled in too. He also took his fair share of the blankets, but you soon realized that Dazai was a blanket hog. "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna kick you if y'dont stop stealin' all the blanket!" You groan, yanking the soft material back towards you. "I am not stealing all the blanket, you're very dramatic." He says, rolling over and scooching closer so that he can still be completely covered by the blanket without yanking it back. Each time you moved, you bunched up more of the blanket and pulled it closer to yourself, leaving Dazai uncovered from his right foot to his knee. "And you call me a blanket hog." He starts to steal some of the comforter back, but you toss it over him and roll over to press your front against his, cuddling him. "You come to my house unannounced and steal my blankets..you can just be another source of heat if you wanna act like this." You sleepily say, eyes still closed as you slur out your words. His face was one of surprise for a moment before it melted into a smile. He put a hand on your head and pulled you closer. "And you know what? That's fine with me."

⑅ Chuuya Nakahara ⑅

• Chuuya reminds me of that one soulmate au where whenever you get marks on your skin, they appear on your soulmates too. Small scars, ink scribbles, and bruises would often appear on Chuuyas, but never because of his own doing.

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Earlier in the morning, Chuuya had noticed a new doodle on his forearm, this time it was one of a cat. Usually it was partially colored-in hearts or imperfect stars, but he always found other drawings of yours to be more amusing. He was currently relaxing on his couch after a long day of work, shoes kicked off and pajamas put on. He'd gotten bored of whatever nonsense he was watching on the TV and decided to examine the kitty on his arm a little more before picking up a pen and deciding to draw one next to it with a little heart in between them. He rolled his eyes at himself, Chuuya Nakahara, the best martial artist in Yokohama and port mafia executive was doodling kitty cats and hearts on his own arm to appease some soulmate he didnt even know. He sighed and leaned back again. It didn't take long for you to notice and quickly scribble a reply that read "Wow, finally. [poorly drawn eye roll emoji] took you long enough to actually interact w/ me! Started to think I didn't have a soulmate." You felt giddy over the whole thing. Yeah, it was stupid, but he drew a cat in love with the cat that you drew! This was the interaction that you had been waiting for since middle school when all the other kids were writing back and forth with their soulmates so much that they'd make frequent trips to the bathroom to wash off old pen ink since they had no phones to text with yet. Teachers hated it, but everyone was already willing to put their education on the back burner for these, essentially, randos. Not Chuuya, though. Chuuya never liked writing on his skin, the way the ballpoint dragged across his pale flesh made him shiver, and so he never replied to you. His focus on other goals also contributed to that ignorance.

After many years though, he finally decided to entertain the whole idea. Chuuya didn't care about who his soulmate was, if he found someone that wasn't them and he loved them, then that was that. He didn't think the universe should decide the only person he could truly be with, so he dated on his own accord. He checked his arm for your reply as if he was checking a watch and he watched the ink appear on his arm, letter by letter and stroke by stroke. He smiled a little and grabbed his pen again. "I never really cared to, no offense." You scoffed when you read that, crossing out the no. "Full offense taken. Anyways, where you from?" He thought on whether or not he really wanted to tell you, so he decided to play it safe. "I'm not telling you that immediately, what are ya, crazy? How old are you?" The number 21 quickly appeared. "And your name?" You started writing out letters, but the ink quickly faded. Chuuya raised an eyebrow and went to write out a couple stray question marks, but the writing came back in a different color. The ink was blue this time. "Y/n." "Okay, y/n, not that you couldn't be lying, I live in Yokohama, Japan. Can I get your number to make this easier?" You smiled and fist pumped. "Yeah, it's ---/---/----." You received a message about four minutes later. "This is better, I have work in the morning and I don't want to have to scrub off any more ink than this tomorrow." You laid in bed, perpendicular to the mattress with your arms hanging off the edge of the bed as you typed out a reply. Your conversation went on for another hour getting to know eachother before he told you that it'd be best for him to go to bed. You wished him a goodnight and he did the same. You knew it'd take a while to build a strong friendship and maybe even relationship, but the thought made you excited nonetheless.

⑅ Fyodor Dostoevsky ⑅

• When I think of my own highschool academic greatness (I'm failing algebra2/trig) I think of Fyodors geniusness and how much highschool/college aus remind me of him. I don't know if he'd try to juggle a relationship and school, but if he did he'd help you be the best student possible while securing that valedictorian title for himself.

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Fyodors slim hand gripped his pencil loosely and moved it acrossed the paper he was given for a written assignment. His hair was pulled back in a super small pony tail and his eyes flickered over to the clock every now and again, waiting for the bell to ring with each passing second. He promised to meet you in the library during lunch to study for your AP Bio test you had coming up at the end of the week. He never minded helping you study, it'd help him retain the knowledge anyways. Finally, the familiar 'ding' sounded throughout the school and he packed up his stuff and left. He walked through the hallways and down the stairs to the library where you were already waiting for him. You smiled and waved him over, opening your school-loaned laptop. "Hey Fedya. I know we always spend lunches together but like, thank you for helping me, I'd be screwed otherwise." You say with a small laugh. He smiles and sits down next to you. "No problem, I don't mind, I did really well in that class anyways." He said while watching you type in your password and pull up an assignment. "Yeah, it's just about- oh! You kept the ponytail in?" You asked him with a smile. You had put his hair up that morning while waiting for the first bell. "Ofcourse I did. It keeps my neck cool." He tells you, tracing shapes on the small of your back with his thumb as he read over the assignment. "This is easy, Myshka, what's the trouble?" "I can't grasp ecology." You say, feeling yourself start to nod off. He raises an eyebrow and hums. "Well, do you sleep during your class like this?" He grins a little. You hum in denial and open your eyes again, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. "No, I just stayed up late last night cramming and stuff..." You say, resting your head against your fist. "Well that's probably why you're having trouble, you work when you should be sleeping."

You knew he was right, you had other classes that you were doing work for and you had put AP Bio on the back burner because you, a) didn't want to do it, b) didn't think you could do it, and c) saw that you'd feel more successful seeing all those 0's in other classes turn into grades. "I know, I know." You groaned. "But maybe we can just get this one done quick since my laptop is already open." You reaffirm and lean your head on his shoulder. He nods and re-reads the question before asking you what answer you'd pick first and why. You told him and he told you if you were right or wrong, briefly explaining why you were incorrect if that was the case. You were only 5 questions in before Fyodor realized you weren't answering him. He looked to his side and realized you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He smiled and closed your laptop for you and let you sleep against him for a little while, knowing he'd finish it with you later, very determined to help you get all of your work finally done so you could relax. You clearly needed it.

⑅ Nikolai Gogol ⑅

• Nikolai would be a great, flirty barista, which is why I think coffee shop au would be perfect for him. His ability would be of great use winning over a couple cents in tips as well as your heart.

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When you walked into your favorite, local coffee shop, the first thing you noticed was an unfamiliar face behind the counter. A tall man with long, braided white hair stood with a shaker in hand, clearly working hard to perfect s customers drink order. His eyes literally up when he saw you walking towards the counter, quickly pouring the liquid into a scribbled-on cup and capping it. "I'll be with you on one minute!" He says with a toothy grin, handing the drink to the lady waiting on the far side of the shop. He quickly returns to the cash register to take your order. "Hey! How can I help you?" He asks you and straightens out his apron. "Hi, uhm, can I have a (favorite drink), please?" He punched some stuff into the cash register and the visible screen in front of you showed you your total. "Anything else?" His eyes stared back into your own, making your heart race in your chest when you noticed just how beautiful he was. His differently pigmented eyes and sharp jawline along with the way his pointed teeth flashed when he smiled had your cheeks heating up pretty quickly. Not to mention his hair and physique.

As he was about to point out your staring with a cheeky expression, you muttered a 'yes.' He nodded. "Okay, your total is $4.20." You pulled out the first bill that wasn't a $1 from your wallet and handed it to him, Nikolais eyebrows raising when you put a $20 in his hands, but he stuck it in the register and counted up your change. "Okay, $15.80 is your change, can I get a name?" He asked you while giving you your change before grabbing a cup and sharpie. "Y/n." You quickly said, dropping all of the $15.20 in the top jar. "Ohhhh, wow! Y/n might as well take me on a date with a tip that big~!." He giggles and turns to make your drink for you while you wait with a warm face and stomach full of butterflies. "I don't think I'd mind taking you out on one." You say with a sense of confidence. "Hm, I might have to take you up on that." It's not long before he has your drink made, using a glowy portal to grab the sharpie on the counter relatively far away and scribbling something in your cup again. "Alright, here ya go! Have a good one!" He hands the drink to you, smiling a little bit when he feels your hand brush against as you take it from him. "Thank you, you too." You call back, turning around and walking away. Once you're out of the café, you rotate the cup 360° to figure out what he wrote on it, only to find ten digits acrossed the plastic. You smiled and your heartbeat picks up ten fold. You make sure to take a picture of it in a good lighting to ensure the visibility of all of the numbers, you might just have to arrange a date with him now.

A/n; AHHHHHHHHHHHH next time event post <3

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #bsd headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #bungo stray dogs fyodor #fyodor bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor x you #bungou stray dogs nikolai #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai #bsd dazai osamu #dazai bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs chuuya #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya nakahara

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Deuce Spade - Platinum Jacket Vignette

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Deuce: This museum really has a ton of paintings. Not that I really know how to act in quiet places like this…

Deuce: Oh, but I can't use that as an excuse. I'll have to be a good supporter for the museum, just like any honor student would!

???: Is this dome… a teapot cover? Why would the Card Soldiers be carrying tea?

Deuce: Huh, you don't know, Sebek? Cool, then I'll tell you about it.

Deuce: This painting shows a scene of a trial from one of the Queen of Hearts' legends…

Deuce: And those Card Soldiers aren't actually carrying tea, but a witness for the case: a tiny mouse!

Sebek: Hmph, what's with that smug look? Well, fine, never thought there'd be a day that you'd have something to teach me, I suppose.

Deuce: Heheh. I'm a supporter for the museum, so it makes sense that I can explain something like that.

Deuce: Since I'm a student of Heartslabyul, I made sure to study extra hard all the tales related to the Queen of Hearts or her Card Soldiers.

Sebek: Is that so? Still, did it require two of them to transport a single small mouse?

Deuce: According to the story, it was a crucial witness, so they wanted to make sure it got to the Queen safely.

Deuce: Ah, that reminds me… We had something similar to this painting go down at Heartslabyul just the other day.

Deuce: Though, it wasn't a witness that was getting brought in…

Sebek: What, was there some lout breaking the Queen of Hearts' laws?

Deuce: Yeah. There was this one student who'd been breaking the rules over and over again, and he was finally being brought before Rosehearts-ryōchō for a stern reprimand…

Deuce: When the two guys tasked with hauling him in came to bring him to the Housewarden, that rule-breaker ran.

Sebek: Why do you even have people tasked with hauling others in…? You folk in Heartslabyul have far too many strange duties and rules!

Sebek: But that transgressor is also a coward, fearing reprimand and fleeing without taking responsibility for their actions.

Deuce: Right? He made his bed, he's gotta lie in it.

Sebek: Judging by your manner of speech there, am I right to assume that you helped to secure that transgressor?

Deuce: Yeah. I ran after the guy and caught him in a flash.

Deuce: Not like I've been training my legs or working on quick, explosive power in my sprints while in the Track and Field Club for nothing!

Sebek: Oho, so you captured them. And what were those two that were supposed to have brought him in doing?

Deuce: The guys on duty were apparently so shocked when the rule-breaker ran away that they couldn't move quick enough.

Deuce: But once I brought him back to them, they firmly took hold of him on both sides and brought him to the Housewarden, though.

Sebek: I see. So perhaps the reason why it isn't considered overkill to have two people on duty for such a thing is in case something unexpected occurs.

Deuce: Maybe…? I guess so.

Deuce: Ah, but listen to this. After he finished reprimanding the rule-breaker, Rosehearts-ryōchō praised me for a job well done.

Deuce: "Not only did you capture the transgressor without a moment's delay, but you showed good judgement in allowing the students on duty to do their job as assigned," he said!

Sebek: True, normally you'd do something brash like bringing that offending student directly to Riddle-senpai after capturing him.

Sebek: An unusually calm and mature judgement, coming from you.

Deuce: Hey, nothing "unusual" about it! It's not strange that I was able to think that through.

Deuce: Because, I'm on my way to becoming an honor student!

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Sebek: Oh, this painting… It looks as though it's based on the legend that speaking a wish into a well would make it come true.

Deuce: Yeah, so if you make a wish into a well, it sends your voice back out. I remember that well, 'cause I always thought that was odd.

Sebek: It's merely an echo. What is so odd about that?

Deuce: Huh, an echo?

Sebek: You didn't even know that? I'm speaking of the phenomenon in which sound bounces off of water or walls and is reflected back.

Deuce: Huh… Oh, so is that the same sort of thing as when sounds reverberate in a tunnel?

Sebek: That's right, as tunnels are also primed for echoes.

Deuce: Oh, okay… That actually brings back memories.

Deuce: Whenever I'd be riding through long tunnels, I'd put the pedal to the metal and rev it up so loud.

Sebek: You'd rev what? Are you talking about some kind of music?

Deuce: No, no. I'm talking about a blastcycle, not any instruments or whatever.

Deuce: The engine can make different sounds based on the body of the blastcycle, or even from the way it's ridden.

Deuce: It can make heavy thumping sounds, or low, rolling sounds…

Deuce: And it can be really fun to change up my driving style just to hear those different sounds.

Deuce: Whenever I ended up alongside another driver who knew how to make their own engine sing,

Deuce: It was easy to just end up competing to see who could make their engine rev louder.

Sebek: And what is so fun about that? It just seems to be a cacophony of noise, based on what you're saying.

Deuce: YOU DON'T GET IT AT ALL! It's great because I can feel it to my core.

Deuce: And, it feels sooooo amazing to feel the vibration of the engine echoing off the tunnel walls!

Deuce: AND PICKING UP SPEED IS THE BEST PART!

Deuce: The faster I go, the higher the pitch of the engine…the more that sound echoes in the tunnels…

Deuce: By the end of it all, the only sound I can hear is the blastcycle engine… I just can't get enough of that feeling!

Sebek: Shh, Deuce. You're being too loud, lower your voice. You're going to bother everyone else trying to enjoy the silence.

Deuce: Ah, sorry… Actually, kinda feels weird to get told by you of all people to lower my voice.

Sebek: Why is that? I don’t raise my voice like that unnecessarily.

Deuce: Eh… You seriously saying that right now?

Sebek: Obviously. At any rate, I don't really understand what you were saying about those blastcycles, but…

Sebek: You shouldn't cause a ruckus while riding, unlike what you did just now.

Deuce: Well, obviously I try to ride so I don't bother others on the road… At least, now I do…

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Deuce: Oh hey, it's the Lord of the Underworld. I like how brave he looks flying through the sky in this painting.

Deuce: And on top of it all… He's way too cool, rushing to the front lines like that to save his captured comrades!

Sebek: Right. The Lord of the Underworld must have been a truly capable fellow, able to take on even the most difficult missions by himself.

Sebek: One would require proper deliberation and competency to achieve positive results.

Deuce: Urgh… That hits a sore spot…

Sebek: A sore spot…? Ah, you are talking about what happened last week.

Sebek: I remember seeing you, Grim, [Yuu]… and Ace, if I recall. It was while I was heading back from flight class.

Sebek: All four of you were standing like idiots in the hallway, being scolded by Trein-sensei.

Deuce: URGH!!!! You saw that!?

Deuce: I-I didn't plan on it ending with us getting in trouble! It wasn't supposed to end like that…

Sebek: I'm sure it is a ridiculous story… But why not, I'll listen to whatever excuses you come up with.

Deuce: At the start of History of Magic class, Trein-sensei told [Yuu] to read out loud a passage from the textbook.

Deuce: But that page was completely ruined by drool, since Grim fell asleep on it the night before, so it was impossible to read.

Deuce: So, I raised my hand, offering to read it instead.

Sebek: So why did that end up with you all being sent out to the hallway?

Deuce: …I forg… …xtboo…

Sebek: I can't hear you, speak up.

Deuce: I… I'M SAYING I FORGOT THE NECESSARY TEXTBOOK!!!!

Sebek: So you tried to step up, even though you didn't have the textbook… You're a fool who has gone beyond help.

Deuce: Ace was saying something like that, too. Both him and Grim were laughing at me for that.

Deuce: Even though it was really Grim's fault in the first place!!

Deuce: [Yuu] even pointed that out to them, but they wouldn't stop, so…

Deuce: We ended up arguing… Which then got us sent out into the hallway before long to deal with the consequences of our actions.

Sebek: So that's why you were in the hallway. However, I don't understand. Why did you do such an unnecessary thing?

Sebek: Even if Grim or [Yuu] were to be reprimanded, that has nothing to do with you.

Deuce: Nothing to do with me? Come on, there's no way I can let my friends flounder like that.

Deuce: I mean, Grim aside… [Yuu]'s helped me out a ton before, so.

Sebek: Hmph. Then I guess at the very least, next time you should act after you've determined whether you have your textbook or not.

[Sebek walks off]

Deuce: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!

Deuce: Geez, and he walks off after one last parting shot, huh… Ugh. Guess I'll try to shake off this funk by checking out some of the other exhibits.

Deuce: Oh, this is a painting of a girl singing with flowers. She looks like she's having fun, but according to the story…

Deuce: If I remember correctly, she was described as vulgar, rude, and weedy...

Deuce: Doesn't matter where you are, or who you are, everyone has to follow the rules. Not a shocker to me that those who can't follow 'em end up in sticky situations.

Requested by @farfalla049.

#twisted wonderland #twst #deuce spade #sebek zigvolt #twst deuce #twst sebek #twst translation #twst birthday #mention: riddle #mention: ace #mention: grim #mention: yuu #mention: trein

[pickingupmymercedes]

Boy from Stevenage - Lewis Hamilton

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: none, tooth rooting fluff, Lewis being vulnerable

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Felt like fluff was due, so totally self-indulgent nonsense I wrote after hearing bits of his speach for his GQ Awards.

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

You leaned against the doorway as Lewis moved restlessly across the room, his brow furrowed with concentration. A braid kept falling into his face, and he kept tucking it behind his ear. He muttered to the reflection in the mirror, his expression serious as he practiced his speech for the GQ Awards ceremony, rehearsing it with the same intensity he would study race tracks.

A smile tugged at your lips. It was endearing, this nervous energy that usually only manifested before a race, and that so few got to see, filling the master bathroom of his NYC apartment. Tonight, however, the only race was against his stubborn desire to perfectly deliver his message.

When he finally sighed in frustration, you decided to fully enter the room. He caught your reflection in the mirror, and his face softened, the tension momentarily lessened.

"Hey," you tilted your head, offering a small smile.

He straightened, taking a deep breath. "Hi. How long have you been there?"

You shrugged, reaching for the fingers that gripped the marble. "A minute or two. Just… watching the master at work."

He gave a self-deprecating laugh. "More like a nervous wreck."

He gestured vaguely to the crumpled paper clutched in his hand. "Do you think it's alright? I don't want to sound… pompous."

You reached out for him, turning his face to look him in the eye, your fingers smoothing the worry lines on his brow with your thumb. "Lewis," you started, your voice soft. "Nobody's going to think you're pompous. They're going to be captivated."

His eyes, the warm brown that stole your breath every time, met yours with a glint of nervousness. "You really think so?"

A soft smile and chuckle spread through your features. It was a challenge, putting your admiration for him into words. You weren’t one for grand gestures or over-the-top declarations. It was in the quiet moments, the shared understanding, the unspoken language that existed only between the two of you that you showed him how much he meant to you.

"They'll all be in love with you," you finally said, a loving spark in your eyes. "Just like I am."

He chuckled, a hint of relief washing over him. "Smooth, (Y/N)."

You took his hand, gently pulling him away from the mirror. "Come on," you said, urging him towards the plush armchair in the bedroom nestled by the window. "Let's forget about speeches for a while."

He followed willingly, sinking into the chair with a sigh as he dragged you down with him. You settled on his lap, pulling your legs comfortably on top of his on the stool. The city lights became a shimmering backdrop to your comfortable silence.

"I’m really proud of you," your voice barely above a whisper as your fingers danced on his chest and he looked out the window.

His hand automatically sought yours. You squeezed gently. "More than you can imagine," you admitted.

"Sometimes it all feels a bit overwhelming," he confessed, his voice raw. "The platform, the attention, the expectation to be a voice for everything."

"You don't have to be a voice for everything, though," you countered, your voice firm as he locked his gaze on your intertwined fingers. "But what you do choose to speak up about… that's what makes me so proud."

He looked at you, his eyes searching your face. "Even the stuff that makes some people uncomfortable?"

You let out a proud smile and a knowing giggle. "Especially those. You use your platform to speak when others won’t."

He squeezed your hand, gratitude evident in his tone and his eyes. "Maybe you should be writing the speeches after all."

You laughed, a soft sound that filled the room. "You just need to be reminded that you're Lewis Hamilton, not a nervous rookie on his first podium."

You leaned your head against his shoulder, his arms embracing you as he turned his head, placing a soft kiss on your temple. "Thank you, love. But we really need to get going," he whispered, just before he picked you up and put you back down on the armchair, heading back to the bathroom.

As Lewis got in the shower, you couldn't help but steal a glance at the crumpled speech in his hand. You knew he wasn't one to brag about his achievements, but a part of you yearned to understand the weight of the words he was struggling with.

Carefully, you reached out and picked up the paper. It was filled with Lewis's handwriting, edits scrawled across some lines. You scanned the opening, your heart swelling. It wasn't about self-praise or glorifying his victories. It was a heartfelt dedication to the countless individuals who had supported him on his journey, from his early days karting in Stevenage until now.

He spoke of his family, the unwavering pillar behind him, their sacrifices paving the way for his dreams. He mentioned his mentors and heroes, those who had nurtured his talent and those who had inspired him to push to be his best. He even acknowledged his rivals, the competitors that had honed his skills and fueled his relentless pursuit of excellence.

But then, there was a section that was heavily underlined, a paragraph riddled with question marks and crossed-out phrases. It was about the kids that he hoped to have inspired.

He wrote about the grounding effect they had on his own path. He spoke of how he, too, was an impressionable young boy, wishing for something greater.

You knew sometimes Lewis struggled to express his emotions openly, yet here he was, trying to articulate the depth of what it meant to him to be put on the same pedestal as his heroes.

It was the written proof of how much this award, how much this entire platform, meant to him – a chance to not just be Lewis Hamilton, the champion, but Lewis, the boy who had aimed for the stars and received the moon as a gift.

A soft chuckle escaped your lips. You pictured the faces in the opulent ballroom, expecting a typical self-congratulatory speech from the motorsport legend. The surprise on their faces when Lewis poured his heart out, his voice thick with a vulnerability they wouldn't have anticipated, would be priceless.

He may be a titan on the racetrack, but here, in the quiet intimacy of the apartment, he was simply Lewis, the man who might fumble with expressing his emotions but whose actions spoke volumes.

As you two rode in the backseat towards the gala, the city lights morphing into a mesmerizing dance of colors, you snuggled closer to Lewis, his steady breathing a comforting rhythm.

"Hey," you whispered, tracing a finger across the back of his hand.

He jolted out of his thoughts, his eyes looking for yours. "Hmm?"

"You know," you began, searching for the right words, "you don't need to win over that entire room tonight. You just need to make that brave boy from Stevenage proud."

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#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 scenario #f1 x reader #lewis hamilton #lh #lh44 #lewis #lewis x reader #lewis imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lh44 x reader #lh44 imagine #lewis hamilton x you

[baohanhanesel]

Calling them by their Call-signs.

Mentioned: John Soap Mactavish, Simon Ghost Riley

The reader is a civilian. The scenarios are separate. The reader is not gender specific.

John Soap Mactavish

"Soap!" You shouted from the other room, which earned you fast footsteps to the said room. The door was swung open and there stood John Mactavish in all his glory.

You had a basket in your hands, leaning it against your hip and holding it upright.

John was frowning at you, unusually quiet. It was obvious he wanted you to have the first word.

You, all too aware of what you had done with the name-call, smiled innocently and started speaking.

"Do you have any black clothes I should throw in the bin?"

John audibly relaxed before cursing.

"Yer think dats funny, hen?"

"What do you mean, Soap?"

"Nae. Nae. Nae. Dats nae reserved for ya. Not when we're home."

You shrugged. You knew exactly why. Soap was who he was on duty. The man who would kill with orders and clean the field with efficiency. The name meant John was on track. That he was ready to make a run for it. And it being spoken in this domestic setting...? It made him upset. The fact you were doing it knowingly? He was annoyed.

"I don't understand, Soap. Why don't you want me to call you by your name?"

John's eyebrows furrow, and he lets out an exhausted grunt before making his way to you. He grabs the bin and just throws it to the ground before scooping you off of the ground.

You don't act surprised, you were kinda rooting for this. A grin betrays your play of innocence and stretches wide on your face.

"Soap aye? Soap. Fucking Soap? Fine. Let's go w' it."

"What--"

"Let me remind mah name, bonnie. Maybe muscle memory will help ya?"

John throws you on the bed a little roughly, and you can see just how annoyed he is.

"Wait John--"

"Och, it is John now? There we fucking go. Told ya muscle memory helps."

You grumbled, face incredibly red and a smirk accompanying it.

"Wait where are you going?!" You sat up abruptly, about to stop John because he made a move to take a step away from the bed.

"... Aye ah wasn't serious... Ah would never initiate without... ye ken... That's nae very... okay ta just throw ye like that cause lil ol' me was pished."

"John if you do not get your hands on me I swear to god---"

"Do nae have to tell me twice."

You add the clothes in the bin after.

Simon Ghost Riley.

You grab the remote and raise an eyebrow at Simon. He isn't looking at you, he is looking at his phone; scrolling away.

"Hey Ghost, you won't watch with me?"

Simon snaps his head up the moment the name is out of your mouth. He stops. Looks at you with widened eyes and a piss poor expression. What did he do?

"Sorry, love. Yes, yes I will."

"Hop close big boy." You pat the spot next to you and Simon plops himself right next to you. What did he even do?

He just sighs, throwing an arm around your shoulders and looking at the screen.

"Ghost, you think we got popcorn?"

"What did you just call me, love?"

"Ghost? Your name?"

Simon frowns. His blonde lashes flutter aggravatedly. He huffs in annoyance and slowly wraps a strand of your hair around his point finger.

"Since when I am Ghost to ya?"

"What are you saying?" You fake innocence, but don't make the mistake of looking at his face. You can't. You know how upset he must be- how annoyed he must look.

Ghost is, well, the Ghost. Ghost is cold, he is a weapon. He is a man who dug his own grave and crawled out of it like the legend he is. He is no man. He is more than that. Simon thought he had told you that. That the Ghost wasn't meant for your lips. He was always Simon with you in his house. He'd never dare to look at you when he is Ghost. When he is dirty, when he is corrupt.

The dark memories make him frown deeper. His eyes darken noticeably and you think about giving up on this name calling here and now.

"Ghost?" Simon parrots, then he laughs.He laughs, with tears in his eyes. "You think that's funny?"

"You are laughing...?"

"Call me that again."

"Simon, love--"

"No, none of that. Call me by my name."

"Are you sure I--" You turn to look at him. That's not the reaction you thought you would be triggering.... You clear your throat. Asking if he is sure is stupid. "Ghost."

"That's it, you want the Ghost?" Simon hooks his fingers all around your hair and grabs a fistful.

"Ghost, please, I was just joking." You are sweating. You look into Ghost's eyes; they are not as bright. His thoughts are not very bright either...

He grabs your hair and makes you face him, rotating your head however he likes gently with the grip he has on your hair. His lips catches yours, and immediately drowns you into a deep kiss.

The dark thoughts, the memories... All of them flicker away as if your lips was all he needed all along. His mind clears, and he can't even feel anything but a strange giddiness. He doesn't let it show on his face, or the pace of the kiss.

When you part away, you pant for air. Your lungs are burning and heart is skipping multiple beats. "My love..."

"Shhh shhh..."

It is no surprise that Ghost is a petty man. It is a surprise that it is turning you on. You swallow hard, his hand pulls your hair and positions your head however he likes. He has a go at your neck, down your collarbone and all under your jaw.

His heart is light, his mind is empty. He smiles as he presses his lips all over your warm skin.

You stop when Ghost has left your torso bare of cloth.

His eyes search for a hint of discomfort in your body, he finds nothing akin to it. Not with you. Never with you.

"Are you mad at me?" You barely manage, mind too foggy.

"I am having a good time. Are you mad at me?"

"For pulling my hair?"

"And for stripping your chest bare."

You laugh, holding his face in-between your hands. "I am having a good time, Simon."

"Y'know... I don't mind being the Ghost with you."

"No?"

"No."

#call of duty #cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #johnny mactavish #simon riley #boyfriend soap #husband soap #johnny soap mactavish #soap x reader #ghost call of duty #ghost x reader #husband ghost #boyfriend ghost

[livelaughlovesubs]

uh! hi, i saw in one of your tumblr posts that you decided to open up your ask box for requests soooo, being aroused excited to see this up, i got a request, an early birthday gift for myself (June 4th!)

so... temperature play with nikolai? can be with ice cubes, or hot wax (or both??) but i just really wanna have a scenario that includes that cause imho, i want to have our GN reader torture in more than just ass pegging (no offence tho, it's hot af)

you don't have to answer if you don't have a big idea of what to do or like. i misread that you had requests opened (i’m a bit dum), i'm just a big fan of yours, and i might actually ask more requests like this in the future, so be on the lookout! okay, thanks!

- 🃏

happy birthday darling, I hope it’s a joyful day for you - and welcome 🃏 anon :>

Dom!reader x sub!nikolai

Warning: Temperatur play, teasing

“All set.” You murmured, putting aside a lit candle and lighter. Both of it was on your drawer now, among a bowl full of ice cubes. The man who was spread on your bed, all tied up and restrained by a rope, observed your every movement with attendant eyes. His lips were curled into a repressed smile, as if he couldn’t hide his emotions very well. “Are you ready?” You asked him, your hand brushing over his bare body. Careful fingertips danced across his chest, increasingly going lower, until you grazed his soft thighs.

He squirmed ever so slightly as his smile widened into a grin. “Of course, I’m ways ready for you!” Nikolai replied, his tone so cheerful you couldn’t tell if he knew what was going to happen any moment, or if he was just a huge masochist. His eyes scanned the night table next to him, noticing the medicine you placed as preparation. “No need to be gentle with me, I can take it all.” He reminded you while tugging at his restrains. Nothing bulged, good.

“I didn’t plan on going easy on you.” You admitted, then put on some gloves, sliding them around your hand. “Just making sure I have your consent.” The white haired boy laughed, that irritating yet somehow charming laugh of his. After receiving your confirmation that you won’t play nice with him once again, he spoke, “hahahah!! Good, good! Then I have nothing to worry about!” Sometimes he got on your nerves, enough for you to want to shut that mouth of his in multiple ways.

This time though, all you did was sigh in response to his chaotic antics. From the corners of your eyes, you checked out the red candle, to see if it burned long enough. After all, you were going to need a lot wax for this session. “Not yet.” You whispered to yourself, which is why you reached out for the ice cubes. “Finally starting now?” Nikolai asked, and instead of entertaining his question, you shoved one of the ice cubes into his mouth. Then you snarked at him, “Enough, just stay quiet.” His face brightened and he tried to say something, but all that came out were muffled noises and slurps to keep the ice cube inside his mouth.

Without wasting any more time, you took one ice cube and pressed it against his inner thighs, trying out what kind of reaction he might make. “Mhmm- oh!” His muscled tensed and his bulge twitched in anticipation, but you still payed him no mind. Instead you pressed the ice onto his chest, before moving it across his pecs and rubbing it against his nipples. That yearned you a nice flinch from the male.

Crunch.

Nikolai ate the remaining piece of ice in his mouth, sticking his tongue out to prove that fact to you. “It was so cold~” He started yapping once again, causing you to furrow your brows at him. “Mhm.” You hummed as you reached for another cube, bringing it over to his other nipple. “Iiik..! Ah- cold.” He remarked, some drool was hanging out of his lips. This continued for a few minutes, were you’d rub it in circles around his sensitive parts, stimulating his nerves. Every time you did that, a low whimper would emerge from him. Until both of the objects in your hands melted away completely, you did not change to anything else. At that point, his skin has been irritated to the point of becoming red.

“Hnngh!! I think my nerves are numb there now.” The boy said, half joking half serious. Some sweat was collecting around his forehead. His back was arched off the bed so prettily and thighs clenched together. You ran your tongue over his chest, to lick off the water pooling around the area. Still cold. “Ah.. it feels good, your tongue- hm, it’s warm.” A quiet gasp escaped his throat as he looked at you with desire and lust. The feeling of your wet muscle drawing on his chest was amazing, he loved the difference in temperature.

Next thing you did was reach for the candle, and holding it above him. His breath stuck in his throat, you noticed his fists clench around the rope you used to bind him. Instead to dripping the hot wax onto his skin, just as he wanted, you grabbed another piece of ice and pressed it against his half erect dick. “AhhHHH..!! Hnnng, y/n!” Nikolai almost cried out, shocked by your sudden change of plans, a tint of red clouded his cheeks. His legs trashed around, and his sex bounced against his belly. Precum covered the tip completely, so a bit of it stuck to his tummy as well.

When Nikolai clenched his eyes shut to get used to the freezing feeling, you didn’t hesitate to finally drop the hot, melted wax onto his chest. It sizzled on his skin, burning him and causing a bruise. “Hu-hMHMm.?! AHH-, oHhHmmm!!” He immediately moaned out, whining and wincing in pain that has been converted into pleasure. Mouth agape as his entire body shuddered in ecstasy and bliss, you knew exactly how to rile him up.

“You like this?” You smirked, a sadistic expression replacing the rather nonchalant one from before. The way you seemed to enjoy his suffering caused him to become fully erect, how he adored that unsympathetic look you owned. “Ahh, yes!! More, hurt me more~” The boy arched his back to get closer to the candle, almost making the fire touch his now shivering skin. He subconsciously hold his breath in anticipation.

You quickly pulled the candle back, noting down his mimics. A little wax wouldn’t hurt no one, but a fire was too risky even for you. But this wasn’t enough, he was still enjoying it too much, you wanted him crying and mewing in desperation. Then you brought the burning heat over to his arching cock, dripping down the crimson wax and watching it decorate his swollen tip, which had the same colour as the candle. “uhHmm! Wait- it’s, uGhhH!!” He groaned, throwing his head back as much as he can as tears flowed down his cheeks.

It hurt, it hurt so damn bad, and how it did. At the same time his heart pounded like never before, and every fever of his body was aroused to no end. He could swear he saw stars. “So- so good..! It hurts so mhmm-much.” With such misleading words, you weren’t sure if he was complaining or encouraging you to continue. Though judging by how his useless little dick kept wagging around like the tail of a dog in heat, it seems he enjoyed it.

Once again you switched the item in your hand and grabbed the cold object from the half filled bow, pressing it against his abused member. “No-noO!! Ah, it-HnnGhh, hurttsss.?!!” The sudden change in temperature caused him to squirm around uncontrollably, trashing and wriggling his hips as if he’s putting on a show for you. More precum leaked from his slit, flowing down his shaft and dirtying the mattress.

What a work of art he was, all ruined, hurt and helpless like this. To think it was your hands that made him like this, that created this masterpiece. Nikolai was drooling, melting and crying like a whore. Many rosy marks covered his tattered body, and the wax of the candle dried around his dick. Water mixed with his body fluids, dripping down in a perverted and erotic way. His eyes look like he’s about to pass out, rolled to the back of his skull and pupils all blurry. Not to mention how his cheeks flushed in a dark colour or how his hair was messy and spread everywhere. His lashes were clumped together due to the shining tears, all while quiet sobs slipped from his mouth.

You caressed his face gently, brushing away one tear with your finger before licking it off. Then you peeled off some of the wax from his tip, and he immediately shouted again. When he saw you staring at him, he grinned back at you. That made you chuckle, rubbing his tummy before bringing the burning candle over his body again. “Don’t pass out now, I’m still not done with you.” Of course he won’t pass out, only when his master wants him too. His only response was him biting his bottom lip, bending his body like some common slut as cum shoot out of his disgusting sex.

#sub character #sub!character #dom reader #dom!reader #sub bsd #sub bungou stray dogs #sub nikolai #bungo stray dogs nikolai #nikolai bungou stray dogs #nikolai bsd #nikolai gogol bsd #nikolai fanart #nikolai smut #nikolai x reader #bsd nikolai #nikolai gogol #nikolai x you #nikolai x y/n #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai gogol x you #🃏 anon

[starringthesturniolos]

surprise- sturniolo triplets

summary- you've always wanted a cat and matt, chris, and nick come make your dream a reality.

contains- platonic relationships only<3 its just a cute little drabble fr.

------------------------------------------------------------

"she is going to flip the fuck out when she sees him." chris looks back at the little surprise him, matt, and nick got for you while rubbing his hands in anticipation. now that the car is parked matt looks back as well, and his eyes light up for the second time today. "Awww, he is sooo cute. such a handsome man." he coos making both chris and him chuckle. "I don't know...he looks like he'd bite the shit out of me." nick adds right after, making the two in the front seat burst out in laughter. "of course you think that nick" chris says. after they both calm down a little, nick shifts his attention to the camera at the front of the car.

"OKAY so if you guys watch our videos, you know Y/n and you also know how much she talks about wanting a cat. we figured it would be so fun if we just bought her one and got her reaction on camera. I, for one, am so so excited to see how happy she's going to be." he looks out the window at your front yard and sighs happily. "Y/n is so sweet, I love her." he says almost tearfully.

"here he goes, getting all emotional and shit" chris adds giggling at nicks nonsense.

after talking a little bit more about the story about getting the cat, they all walk out to go up to your front door. nick has a key, so there was no need to knock. they just walked right in to your tiny apartment. matt trails behind nick and chris as they make a beeline for your room. "she's probably still sleeping, im kinda scared to wake her up." nicks says fear creeping into his voice. you were one of the sweetest people they have ever met, but you are a whole other person when you first wake up. not only are you grumpy, but your also pissed with the person who interrupted your sleep. one time, nick went to wake you up from a nap to see if you wanted to go to top golf and you ended up shooing him out your room with a broom. lets just say, you didn't go to top golf and nick did not go into your room for about a week after that. chris and matt shudder at the memory, but chris is quick to reassure nick. "nah it'll be okay, she won't be annoyed we woke her up for long. I'll go in first. matt stay outside the door for a little until we call you in. " okay" matt says barely paying attention and just staring at the cuteness that is your kitten.

chris opens your door to find you sleeping. tissues surround the floor next to your bed, and you stir upon hearing someone opening your door. you sit up straight and sigh when you see him. "chris, what the hell are you doing here this early."

"we just wanted to come see you, feels like we haven't seen you in sooo long." he says with way more energy than you felt at the moment. "I would give you a hug, but you look like shit" he chuckles. your eyes were bloodshot red, your hair a mess, and your nose bright red from blowing it all night. even so, you shoot him a glare but your eyes soften when you see his smile. chris always reminds you of a kid in a candy store, and his bubbly attitude is contagious.

"yeah well, im hoping its allergies." you say smiling back at him before nick walks in.

"okay girl, you don't have allergies. lets be real, your sick." nick points at you. "sickie sickie doesn't get any kissy kissies." he says in a strange high pitch voice. matt has to cover his mouth to keep himself from laughing too loud and revealing his hiding spot. chris on the other hand laughs while cringing openly. "dude, never say that shit again, that was really bad." you laugh along before going into a coughing fit. both boys look at each other and then look at you with concern. "Jesus" nick says and chris hands the camera to him. chris approaches your bed and softly sits next to you. he moves the hair out of your face and then places his hand on your forehead. "oh you are burning up, hun. we'll make this quick."

"make what quick? and where is matt?" you question just as he walks into the room your surprise in hand. he took him out the carrier so you could hold him immediately.

"SUPRISE" he yells. you wince a little at how loud he was but quickly recover when you see the kitten he's holding. sick and all, you rush to get out of your bed to go see him. your body is fatigued from being sick for two days so when you get up, you stumble. good thing nick is there to catch you.

"careful there girl" he laughs nervously while grabbing your arm to walk you to matt. you pay him no mind, completely focused on the bundle of cuteness in matts arm.

"AWWW matt, he's so cute!!! whose is it?" you say while picking it up and cuddling the kitten into your chest. nick steps back a little to get both you and matt in the frame.

"its yours y/n" matt says softly and you freeze.

"its mine?" you say tears of joy filling your eyes.

"of course it is y/n, we got him for you because we love you" chris adds smiling at your heartfelt reaction.

"thank you guys" you say as tears stream down your cheeks. even though your sick all three of them came to hug you, touched by your gratitude. you lean your head into matts shoulder and sigh looking down at your new pet in your arms.

"sooo what's his name gonna be?" chris inquires as you all break away from the group hug. you pause to think for a minute, and then your face lights up.

"angel" you say dreamily.

"angel" nick repeats chuckling for no reason at all.

"angel." matt repeats the name as well. "its perfect sweetheart." he sends you a soft smile. you look around at the three boys, grateful to have the most amazing best friends in the world.

@bbernard-03

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you

[writeforfandoms]

Homeward Bound 3

Find the series masterlist

Yes, I know, it's been a hot minute. RL has been insane. I'm trying, guys. I swear nothing is forgotten or abandoned.

A quieter moment leads to some introspection on your life and your position.

Warnings: Swearing, feelings of loneliness and isolation, very brief pain (pinching your own wrist), duty over happiness.

Word count: 837

John and Kyle were hanging around the hatching grounds. Again. You stifled a sigh. If they kept this up, you'd have to usher them off and remind them that normally you didn't allow prospective riders to spend so much time here. 

“...picked me herself,” John was saying as you approached, one bold hand stroking Ilsbet's snout. The green dragon preened under the attention, though she was watching Kyle rather more carefully. 

“Hey.” You frowned at the two. “Back again?” 

“Jus’ saying hi,” John was quick to defend, one hand held out to you like you were the biggest threat on the hatching grounds. (To be fair… you probably were.) “Introducing Kyle to Ilsbet.” 

It clicked then, finally. Why Ilsbet had dragged him into the nest. “From her first time out selecting potential riders,” you murmured. “I'd forgotten.” 

John nodded eagerly. “Right proud of herself, she was,” he said fondly, going back to petting her snout. “Great lizard.” 

She snorted, hot air ruffling his hair while he laughed. Kyle just smiled. 

“Regardless,” you said, shaking off the memories. “It's getting close to hatching time. You shouldn't be here.” 

“We'll go,” Kyle was quick to assure you. “We've got drills soon anyway.” 

You nodded, appeased, and watched the two go, whispering between themselves. Shaking your head, you looked at Ilsbet. 

“Are you sure about that one?”

She snorted hot air at you, making you chuckle. 

“Yeah, alright,” you agreed, patting her neck. “Just remember that the rest of us have to survive your rivalry with Dren.” 

She snorted again but lowered her head, long neck curling around one of her eggs. Shaking your head, you continued on, deciding you might as well do a round of the nests to check on all the dragons. 

It wouldn't be much longer until hatching. Another day or two, you'd bet. No more than that. 

Thank goodness. Some of the mothers needed to go hunting, stretch their wings. 

Plus then you wouldn't have to keep chasing prospective riders away from the hatching grounds. 

The cracked egg was doing fine, warm under your palm, and even moved ever so slightly. You smiled, head tipped down at the egg so no one would see you. This little one would be just fine. 

But you'd still keep an eye on this one when the hatching started. Just in case. 

“Alright?” 

You startled at the voice, having not heard anyone approach. You looked up to find Simon standing a polite distance away, gaze fixed on you. 

“Yes,” you agreed, pushing to your feet and brushing yourself off. “Everything is fine. Hatching will be soon.” 

Simon nodded. “You'll be there?”

Your smile was equal parts amused and wry. “Always.” 

He grunted, shifting his weight back, away from you. Trying to find a polite way to end the conversation, probably. Not many riders bothered to get to know you. 

Which was fine. You were busy. You didn't need riders poking around your business all year, instead of just around hatchings.

“I'll see you there.” You nodded to him, brisk and detached, and turned away. You had a few other things to do to prepare for the hatching. 

You'd known, growing up, that you'd take this role. You'd known that would mean long hours, days, years spent largely alone. You'd known that you were unlikely to get attached. Your own mother had only one child, and had never married.

This job was a lifelong commitment, one that didn't lend easily to attachment. Not to people, at any rate. You were quite fond of the dragons, and attached to many of them. Especially the females. Since you saw them every three years once they reached egg laying age. 

That did not mean you felt nothing. You were still human, you felt lonely sometimes. You wondered what it would be like to have a friend, a confidant, someone glad to see you outside of your duties. 

You shook the thoughts from your head. “Useless,” you muttered to yourself. A sharp pinch to the inside of your wrist cleared your head, shaking off the last of your odd mood.

You had work to do, and you'd do it to the best of your abilities. As you had always done. 

No use fantasizing over what would never happen, after all. 

The nearest dragon crooned softly at you, headbutting your shoulder gently. You lifted a hand to scratch her eye ridges automatically, breathing out slowly. 

“I know,” you murmured to her, glad the black dragon hadn't been more forceful. “I know.” 

Just a few more days to hatching. Then cleanup. Then helping the babies for a while. 

By which time, it would be time for the females to rise again for a mating flight. Rinse and repeat. Every year. 

You paused at the edge of the sand, half-turning to look back. 

Simon stood near Ilsbet, one hand on her neck. But he was facing you. Watching you. From this distance, you couldn't see his expression, and you weren't sure you wanted to.

You walked away.

#homeward bound #dragon rider au #dragonrider au #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #f!reader

[luringfantasy]

One by One 7/7 (final chapter)

PRELUDE

You were snooping around Loki's stuff to find his chest full of sex toys. He was not very pleased about it and has decided to punish you by using all his toys on you, one by one...

based on this imagine

previous

main masterlist

Warnings: use of "pet" names, BDSM, dom Loki, sub reader, female reader

MINORS DNI

NO PROOF READING

Loki guided you to a small dinner table that was set up in the living room instead of the usual couch. There was a long bench, on which Loki sat. For a moment you were confused why there was only one seat, but as you say Loki looking at you suggestively, you knew what you had to do.

The dinner was nice, you melted into Loki’s embrace, while you both fed each other some food, sneaking some kisses in between, but when you tried to move ahead with the night, Loki pulled back.

You knew he was playing a game, teasing you, making you wait, and you were getting desperate. You could feel your own heat down there. Your panties were WET. Seriously the things this man/god does to you!

After an hour or so Loki got up from the table, with you in his arms, deeming he was full. But you were not, you were still hungry. HUNGRY FOR THAT D.

Instead of the bedroom he took you to the kitchen and gave you water. Which you graciously accepted. After you both had some, you started walking towards his bedroom, to finally start the night. But as you walked a couple of steps in that direction, his hands wrapped around you, effectively  stopping you.

When you turned around to face him, Loki growled - “Oh no pet, you are not going anywhere '', with a menacing grin on his face. It reminded you of the first time Loki laid his hands on you - “now that I have you, we are going to catch up on your punishment “ - he started nibbling on your neck, leaving a trail of bites and kisses, which was too much, making you squirm and try to get out of his grip - “we are going to try all our toys on you” - he said while he looked up, his eyes softened a bit meeting yours before they filled with mischief - “ONE. BY ONE.”

He picked you up and placed you on the counter, you didn’t have the time to react and your clothes vanished into a green shimmer. Loki’s eyes darkened as he saw you in green underneath but he was too taken by lust and power to comment on it. Rather he made his actions say how much he appreciated your efforts. Soon his hands were everywhere. Scratching your back lightly, groping your breast and thighs, while his mouth was busy marking you everywhere.

You pushed yourself closer to the edge, placing your thighs around one of Loki’s trying to alleviate yourself temporarily, just until Loki got to that part. But as time passed, you realized he had no plans of tending to you or himself, he was content with him making you squirm and you rubbing yourself on him in turn. Everytime you tried to pull him close, or “help” him, he tsked and moved your hands away from him, placing them on the counter.

Your whines and please fell onto deaf ears. Soon it was enough, your frustration revealed itself as tears streaming down your eyes.

Probably this is what he wanted, he wanted you to cry for him, because he stopped and took a couple of deep breaths. It looked like he wanted to calm himself down.

“Shall we start my little dove?”. Fcking hell he was being extra cruel today. But you wanted him more than anything right now, so you just nodded.

Loki lifted you in his arms and took you to his room. (FINALLY!).

He placed you on his bed and followed you as you scooted up. Soon your last pair of clothing were discarded, along with Loki’s shirt.

You saw him ravaging through the chest of his toys, the same one that got you into this position. You silently thanked it XD.

You knew Loki was far from getting started and even tonight won’t be a “normal” one. He has been using his toys on you, of course he would use them today too.

“Today we are not going to anything new” he said while he grabbed the trusted pair of handcuffs. Your heart shuddered at it. It was already too intense, and with a handcuff…

But you knew what you had to do. As you laid down Loki attached one of the cuffs to your wrist and after passing it around a bar on the bed frame, finally secured the other end too. You were tied to the bed, unable to move, unable to leave. With the lustful god of mischief, frustrated and needy, all for him.

“Now darling, when was it that you broke the rule”. Shit???? This now? You assumed that Loki would have either forgiven you, or will reprimand you after he fucks you. “Loki, please not now, please I need you.” you were trying your best not to show it, but you were at the verge of crying, not knowing what would happen to you now. As Loki left the bed to rummage through the chest again, you didn’t stop, trying to reason with him. “Loki, I’ll take any punishment, please. Just no- not now. Pl-please.” against your wishes tears sprang in your eyes.

As he returned to the bed you could not see anything in his hands. “Darling- ” he spoke softly, as he wiped your tears away, giving you some hope. “- what kind of god would I be, if I don’t punish my subject as soon as possible. You will not break my rules, it is an important lesson. And I will see to it personally, that you learn it this time.” Your body arched as he raced a finger down from chest to your hips, changing the direction every now and then to keep you on your toes.

“But since you have been such a good girl, I will tell you exactly what I am going to do to you and your desperate little body.” his voice deepened. You didn’t know what was worse: not knowing what he was going to do, or knowing exactly what was to come, without any means to stop it. His hands kept tracing your sensitive skin here and there as he sweetly explained what was to come. “I have been in touch with you for 5 weeks.. And 5 weeks back I asked you to not touch yourself. Yet you failed. It was two weeks ago, wasn’t it?” - you nodded yes, ashamed of not being able to follow his rules. “You see there is a reason I wanted you to wait for me like this..” curiously you looked up to him. “The more you wait, the better the release would be, don’t you agree?”

That was true, the orgasm you had while you broke the rule was AMAZING. Made you see the stars, visit them and fucking revolve around them before coming back to Earth.

“I am a benevolent god, and you did confess to me soon after, so I would not punish you..” this made your eyes lit up, he chuckled at your reaction, how naive of you. “.. rather I’d like to take you to the exact point where you were supposed to be.” WHAT? What does that mean?? Your heart started beating fast; this was not going in a good direction.

“Darling, don’t you think 30 minutes for every week is a good number?”

“Th-thirty minutes of what Loki?” you asked meekly. You didn’t even want to know at this point. You just wanted to get fucked.

“Why of course I am talking about edging..” it was funny how nonchalantly he said that he was going to edge you, in this state, AND for 1.5 hours! You wanted to cry and scream, and push him down the bed to ride him to your heart's content, but you were at his mercy right now, that too being punished.

He soon revealed the vibrator he kept in his pants’ pocket, while you resigned to your fate. It was almost painful. Loki’s cold fingers traced your thighs and then he opened you up for him to see. You closed your eyes, unable to look at him, embarrassed by his vulgar act. But soon realized, that this allowed him to surprise you, as you yelped when his fingers suddenly entered you. He was methodical, exploring you, getting to know you, to use that knowledge against you. Soon you were a moaning crying mess on his bed. Tied up, both physically and mentally, in the desire of a release.

At some point you started begging Loki to let you come, knowing full well that he won’t let you. The later your begging turned into demands and you started screaming profanities at him, at which he started teasing you with a vibrator, not letting it up until the very end, making you fall back down cruelly.

By the time Loki was done with you, all you could feel was a need. A need for your god, and Loki was more than happy to have you like this. After the punishment he took some mercy on you and uncuffed your wrists.You immediately wrapped yourself around Loki. Pushing and pulling on him for anything. You held his pretty face in your hands, and kissed him. You were shivering and trembling from everything you were feeling, and only feeling Loki was something that grounded you.

When he vanished his clothes, you were unaware, but you were very thankful that he did. He lifted you up, and placed you on his cock, letting you settle down, slowly, steadily. You both moaned and sighed when he bottomed out into you. Eyes locking with each other, small smiles adorned both your features.

Your heart fluttered at this act of intimacy, yes you have been with Loki for a long time, but it was animalistic and raw, this on the other hand felt tamer, calmer, almost like love making.

As you tried moving to get some friction, Loki’s arms wrapped themselves around you, preventing you from doing so, he just chuckled as you whined for him denying you. But he quickly remedied that by grinding into you. It wasn’t much movement, but it felt surreal, you could not believe such small movements could bring you both so much pleasure. His hands sneaked between you to play with your folds. At this moment, it was intuitive for him, what makes you tick. Soon he pushed you over the edge, stilling inside you, preventing himself (barely) to fall over the edge with you. Although he could continue after his own release, this was about you right now.

His poor girl took her punishment, it was time to reward her.

After your second release you pushed Loki back on the bed, straddling his waist, the palm of your hand roaming over his chest, feeling his heartbeat, his eyes burning in yours. While his hands tamely rested on your thighs, caressing the sensitive flesh on the outside, and sometimes on the inside. You rode him to your satisfaction, his fingers and sometimes your own aiding in your releases. He too came with you sometime during all this, his nails dug into your skin as he did. But you did not complain a bit, he deserved it. You could see how much he was trying to restrain himself. Something you didn’t understand why, but you welcomed this change happily.

After your nth release, you collapsed on top of him, where he just held you, tracing lines on your back until you both fell asleep.

EPILOGUE:

Context-  After you spent the beautiful night with Loki, you both kept sleeping with each other, and spent more time with each other. While reading an Asgardian “book”, the topic of aphrodisiacs came up, and it turns out Loki does have a vial of a concoction in his chest.

(One month later)

You could not believe it, that asshole Loki! You were going to kill him when you got your hands on him. How dare he?

Your eyes widened as the small vial appeared in his hands, without further ado, he drank the contents in one go (wtf? He did not need an aphrodisiac!). His hands made their way into your hair, pulling you into him roughly. As he kissed you, you could still taste the sweet liquid on his lips. You don’t remember much after that.

Now you can only feel pain! Loki did heal you after that day (and night, and another day, after which you passed out of exertion). But your weak mortal body is still incapable of dealing with the aftermath of, well.. him.

He is introducing you to new things, and pushing your boundaries, while opening new avenues of pleasure for you. With every kiss, and every night, your souls intertwined, weaving a love that grew stronger with each moment, one by one.

TAGLIST: @lokixryss @alyeskathewave @ladymischief11 @tukes @yelkmelk @crimson25 @foxherder

Author's Letter-

Thankyou so so so much for reading my work, I cannot believe there are people who like what I write much less wait for me to post new stuff. I am not being humble, i am not a humble person (lol). But this love was really unexpected. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart. You little notes and comments, every like and reblog makes my day. I feel seen and heard, that there are people who know.. me. This part of me.

Thankyou for letting it happen for me. Love you all! (Now go have a glass of water!)

#loki #loki imagine #loki marvel #marvel mcu #mcu loki #loki smut #loki x you #dom!loki smut #loki x reader #lee!reader #loki laufesyon x reader #mcu imagine #loki fanfic

[vintagenahbi]

Caught Up

Suga x V x Reader- Part 1.

Summary: You are caught up in a love triangle between Suga and V, causing you to be torn on who is right for you after an unexpected pregnancy.

Work Count: 4k

I can’t explain how I was feeling in this moment. I don’t even know how I got in this situation. All I knew was that Min Yoongi was sitting in front of me. Not Suga, not Agust D- Yoongi. I had known him as many things, but rarely had I gotten to see him as Min Yoongi. It was nice seeing this version of him. He was no longer a platonic friend that I had to pretend I didn’t like. Instead, he was a man I shared stolen glances with, inside jokes, and those sweet moments no words could describe. A gentle touch of the hand. Grabbing my waist to move me to the other side. Fixing a single strand of my hair.

Even after all of this, I still wasn’t sure where I stood in his life. We weren’t dating, but we weren’t not dating. It was more like a secret affair that must never be acknowledged out loud.

Now I am here in his home, eating a meal he fixed for the both of us. I picked around at my bowl and watched him slurp down his ramen. He was in his own world. Nothing ever seemed to get to him for the most part. I loved that about him, but every ounce of me wished he would open up more. Don’t get me wrong, we talked and had long conversations at night, but I still yearned to know what we were. What I am to him.

Did he want to get married? Did he want to have kids? Did he even like me enough for me to be in his life long term? So many questions I may never know the answers to.

“What’s on your mind?” I heard Yoongi say quietly. I looked at him for a split second and took a bite of my food.

“What are we? Like, what is this between us?” Yoongi stopped eating and leaned back in his seat. He started to chuckle. I kept a serious face. I couldn’t cave and pretend like I was playing around to brush off my embarrassment. He knew this. He knew I wanted him. Not in a desperate pick me way, rather in a way that longed to have a glimpse in his mind and heart.

“We are…” He trailed along with the thought “Honestly, I don’t know what we are.” Those words shook me deeply. It was like a paper cut to the heart. Not enough to do damage, but to be felt. I slid my chair out from beneath me and stood up in one swift movement. I headed towards the bedroom and closed the door quietly. Was it dramatic- yes, but I needed space to think.

We hung out during covid. I stayed with him. We got close. We slept with each other. He trusted me to hang out with the guys. Why is he being this way? Was I wrong to believe that he felt something for me?

The door slowly cracked open. Yoongi peaked his head through. He walked in and started dancing as if he was trying to distract me. I was confused and then that gummy grin started to creep up. I couldn’t help to smile. He continued to dance towards me and grabbed my hand with his beautiful hands. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I placed a gentle kiss on his lips causing him to smile even more.

“We are this.” I was once again reminded that he didn’t know what we were. Platonic.

“Yoongi, I like this but I want more than friends with benefits.” Yoongi looked at me raising his eyebrows. I knew what I said was wrong; however, I had every right to feel like I was being toyed with.

He let go of my waist and sat on the bed. I could not tell if he was angry or disappointed. He wiped his head and adjusted his oversized t-shirt. I was fearful to know what was going to happen next. If this was going to be our first argument I was going to prove my point. I was stubborn and willing to show it in this moment.

“Y/N I love you.” My jaw dropped. My heart nearly pounding out of my chest. “But I’m not ready. Not right now. I’m going on my D-Day tour and I want to be able to fully be here for you.” The amount of disappointment leaving my body was indescribable. I wanted to do nothing more than to cry. Curl up in a ball and pretend I didn’t hear him. I held back every tear, clearing my throat to try to keep my composure.

“So, after the tour we can make something out of this?” He fell silent. I looked him in the eyes and he shrugged his shoulders. I knew exactly what that meant. He was unsure of us. He was unsure of me and my ability to be what he needed. My insecurities were starting to get to me. Every thought pointing to what was wrong with me. “Was it something I did? I don’t understand. What we have is something real. I opened up to you, you opened up to me. I know I don’t know everything but what I felt was real. This is real.” I chocked up. Barely able to catch my breath.

Yoongi stood up and hugged me. His scent lingered across my nostrils. The scent that I loved the moment his skin pressed against mine. I was angry- weak. I wanted to shove him away. Maybe he was scared to put his heart out there. Maybe he was trying to keep me safe. I tear escaped my eyes. He pulled me away and wiped it.

“Y/N. I really do love you, but now I can’t.” I moved away from him and crawled into bed. “You aren’t going to finish your dinner?” I shook my head no. “I have a shoot tomorrow with the guys before the tour. You should come.” I nodded okay.

I stayed in bed for what seemed like hours before he came back into the room. I figured he was cleaning up or working. He slipped into the bed and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I turned over to face him. I stared into his eyes slowly caressing his cheek. He held my hand against his face. Not a word was said between us. It was as if we knew what the other was saying. Yoongi leaned over and kissed me. I was supposed to be angry but I couldn’t. Everything about him made my heart melt. His smile, his laugh, his style, how he could be shy, how you knew when he was angry, his seriousness.

I pulled away from him. He flashed that smile of his one last time.

“You should keep your black hair.” Was all I could manage to say. He mouthed okay and went back to kissing me. He lifted up my shirt and the rest was magic.

I woke up with my clothes thrown all over the bed. I got up quietly, shuffling to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped in. I let the water hit my back as I stood there thinking. The night before- the I love you. I didn’t even get to say it back. Yoongi knocked on the shower door to tell me he was in there. I heard him turn on the faucet. This was how it was going to be and I had to come to terms with it.

About three hours later we finally arrived at the photo shot. I stood behind the photographers and staff. Yoongi looked great during the rapline shot. I could tell he was in his element.

In the corner of my eye I could see Taehyung creeping up behind me. I started to smirk. Taehyung, in confidence, I can say was my equal. So much of him I saw in myself. We had a lot of similarities, but in all, I enjoyed his company. We could talk for hours on end about nothing. None of it ever felt forced. Two friends enjoying each other’s company.

“His tour is coming up soon?” He asked.

“Yeah. He leaves Thursday.” I watched Yoongi as he changed his pose. He glanced at me keeping a straight face. Not mad, just in his element.

“Are you going with him?” Taehyung snapped me out of my thoughts. I shook my head no and smiled. “I guess that means you’re stuck with me. What will you ever do?” He flashes his boxy smile. I playfully roll my eyes. I hear someone behind me clear their throat. It was Yoongi. I stood next to Taehyung as we both watched Yoongi walk past us.

“He told me he loved me last night.” I blurted out. Taehyung raised an eyebrow in disbelief. I knew I shouldn’t be telling him this. What happens between Yoongi and I, stays between Yoongi and I, but I trusted Taehyung. I knew he would keep what I said safe. He was gentle. Honest. He was himself with all of his emotions on his sleeve. “He also said now isn’t a good time. Even after the tour.” I looked away from him. Ashamed I could say it out loud. I heard Jin and Jimin laughing in the background. I turned around, then looked back at Taehyung. “You should probably get back.” I began to walk off until Taehyung grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

“If you need anything I’m here for you.” I gave him a pitiful smirk. I continued to walk away until something caught the corner of my eye. I turned to see Yoongi drinking a battle of water staring at me. He saw it. He saw what had transpired. He glanced away from me to finish his water. Throwing the bottle in the recycling bin as he walked over to me. I stood there waiting like a deer in headlights.

“Yoongi.”

“We will talk at home.” I hate to admit it but he was more than the bad boy. He had emotions and one of those was jealousy. He would pretend like it didn’t get to him, but secretly he was more emotional than he liked to put on.

We rode back home in complete silence. Every part of me was torn. I loved and cared for Yoongi; however, it felt like in these moments we were worlds apart. I was a girl he met, who at one point knew what she wanted from a man. I knew that I wanted unconditional love from a man like Yoongi. I wasn’t here to save him. I was here to be his equal.

I looked over at him. He was staring ahead as the driver took us the long way. I glanced out the window watching the dew droplet roll down the sides. Yoongi placed his hand on my thigh. I looked back at him running my thumb against the back of his hand. We didn’t say a word.

Once we got home I slumped down on the couch. Yoongi walked over into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of soju. He sat on the floor across from me in front of the coffee table. He took a sip from his bottle and gently placed it back on the table letting out a deep sigh.

“You and Taehyung.” He said looking so deeply into my eyes that I could feel the chills run across my arm.

“He’s nice to talk to. We are good friends.” Taking another sip of his soju. I got up from the couch knowing I was not ready for the conversation to go any further. He was never an angry drunk. Actually, he opened up more and was bubbly. Sometimes he even got deep with his emotions, but stressed mixed with alcohol was never a good thing.

“Don’t leave. I want to know what that was about is all. It looked like more than two friends.”

“Yoongi, not now. I told you it is not like that.”

“No. Now Y/N, now.” He stood up. “I want to know. I told you I love you and then I see- see whatever that was.” Something in me flipped with those words. Everything that I had been holding back poured out.

“You love me? You said you didn’t want anything to do with me. Not sure if you want this. Yoongi, I love you. I want you. I’ve been here fighting for us. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life, but you are unsure of me. I don’t understand where this questioning is coming from when you’ve made it clear.”

“Made what clear?” I could tell he was genuinely confused.

“Made it clear that my place in your heart in for convince. You can’t stand here and say you love me but want nothing more than to keep me confused.” The tears started to form in his eyes. He walked up to me grabbing my hands, pressing them against his chest.

“I’m not ready yet, that is all. I don’t love you any less.” I snatched my hands away from him.

“You can’t say that. It feels like I’m existing in your life. I want more. Am I supposed to wait around until you are ready? I want someone who is ready with me now.” He took a step back.

“What does that mean? You want someone like Tae?” I was shocked by what he said. Why would he even bring him up?

“Taehyung has nothing to do with us. I want more out of us.”

“Well if I can’t give you what you want then why are you here? You can leave.” I stood there amazed. Not having a single reply. Only an empty reaction.

“Okay.” Was all I could muster up to say.

“There’s no point in this.”

“If that’s how you feel. I really do love you Yoongi.” I walked into the bedroom and grabbed my duffel bag from our the closet. I threw random items into it. I knew it was best for me to leave now before things got worse. Give him time to cool off and think.

Yoongi walked into the room. I already had the bag on my shoulder ready to leave. He lifted the bags weight off my shoulder and let it fall to the ground.

“After the tour, let’s see how to make this work. I can’t lose you Y/N, but I know I need to be in this fully. We aren’t dating now, but when I come back let’s work on us.” I started to cry. I picked my bag up from off the floor.

“I think I should still leave.” A stab to the heart. The look on his face crushed me. I knew I had to go for a bit. I felt like I was being dramatic, but when you love someone so deeply things change. I never knew I could fall for someone so hard. I didn’t want to go public, I just wanted him to acknowledge me in a way that felt important.

“Please. Stay.” He waited for me to respond. “Stay until I leave. After we will work on this. It gives us both time to decide what we want.”

I nodded my head yes. Ironically, in that moment all I wanted was to talk to Taehyung. Have someone to listen to me. Understand me in a way no one had before. Maybe it was a good thing to wait. Maybe. But as always inevitably one thing led to another between Yoongi and I that night. Sex was the one thing we could consistently agree upon.

The next morning was the big day. Yoongi was leaving for his D-Day tour and I was going to be stuck alone. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed quality time, but after the recent events of pouring my heart out to Yoongi and him asking me to wait- I wanted nothing more than to be in the company of myself.

I sat on the edge of the bed watching Yoongi zip up his last suitcase. He let out a long stream of air following a nearly silent deep sigh. He looked up at me and pressed his lips together giving me that legendary side smirk. He walked over to me a plopped himself next to me on the bed. He noticed my shirt was lifted slightly, pulling it down so I was fully covered. He did that often. I always assumed it was out of habit for having to uphold a certain standard as an idol. Another part of me saw it as a kind act because he liked protecting me, making sure I was okay.

He placed his hand on my thigh. I grabbed it and held it tightly looking him in the eyes. I tried to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. Only my mouth ajar as if I was lost for words. He patted my thigh several times as he got back up again. Not a single word was said between us. He got up and left.

Two days had passed. I tried to text Yoongi but the communication was already starting to be few and far between. I would text and not hear from him until three hours later. I couldn’t be mad at him because it was a time zone problem, but a part of me was not confident that was only reason. Maybe he was going this time to figure out what he wanted. Maybe he was trying to come up with ways to make this work, but whatever it was, I missed him. I missed hearing his voice, his excited spurts of energy, and I missed seeing him. Everything about him made me smile.

My phone started to vibrate against the coffee table. I picked it up completely ignoring who was calling and to my surprise it was Taehyung. Since Yoongi left I hadn’t spent that much time with anyone. I was going through a situationship heartbreak as one could say. Not wanting a single soul to see the amount of pain I was going through anytime soon.

“Y/N! You’re coming over tonight. I haven’t seen you in a while, plus I know you need to get out of the house.” Tae said. I rolled my eyes at the phone.

“I’m fine. I like being here. It’s just-“ I looked around the nearly staged looking house that felt like no one even lived there. “Fine, I’ll come over.” I said reluctantly.

“Great, I will see you soon.” Taehyung hung up before I could even say bye. I was looking forward to hanging out with him, but I knew it wasn’t the best idea. I liked Taehyung in ways that crossed the line of friendship. I thought he was attractive and I had a lot in common with him. He and Yoongi were different in so many ways. Yoongi is serious and liked the privacy of things. He is a sentimental guy who remembered every little detail. Taehyung is shy but has an outgoing side that is fun. He is kind and willing to tackle tough topics. Both different, yet they were both great.

I walked into my shared closet and noticed the places where Yoongi’s clothes were missing. I picked out a t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. Nothing special.

Once I arrived at Taehyung’s apartment, I sat on the couch as he shuffled around in his slippers darting from the kitchen to the living room, then back into the kitchen. I watched him like he was a mad man. Not even noticing my upturned eyebrows along with the concerned looked plastered on my face. Taehyung noticed and started laughing.

“I know that was kind of ridiculous but you’re my guess and I had to make sure you got your favorite juice.” He handed me a juice box. It indeed was my favorite. I started to blush from the fact that he remembered. Although it wasn’t hard to forget since I drank them for a week straight leading me to have to cut myself off. “Actually, all of them are for you.”

“Thank you, but I don’t plan on staying long.”

“Why not?” He looked puzzled, as if I had said a stream of cuss words that no man should have ever say out loud.

“No, it’s not like that. It’s just I don’t want to intrude you know.”

“Never.” He sat next to me and turned on the tv. I watched his every move. Noticing the smallest details about him. The hair on his arm, how he breathed, his eyes, those lips. I shook those thoughts out of my head. I loved Yoongi and I refused to be the one to leave him brokenhearted.

Taehyung and I watched tv that entire night. Laughing at the most random shows we could find. When he was flipping through the channels he came across The Return of Superman. I always imagined Yoongi and I being on that show. Well, more so him than me, but seeing him as a dad with our baby. Seeing him be a father to a boy or a girl.

“I can’t wait for this.” I heard Taehyung say. “I can’t wait to have a kid and start a family. I’ve always known I wanted to be a father. I love kids and want that special moment. Watching someone I love bring something that we created into this world.” After that last sentence he looked me dead in the eyes. I froze. He spoke with such passion. I felt every word that he was saying.

“I have to use the bathroom.” I got up and walked into the bathroom. I closed the door and pressed my back against the door. I have to get myself together. My mind has been all over the place since I got here. We are just two friends hanging out. Nothing less, nothing more. I walked out the bathroom and back into the living room. I saw him copying one of the kids who was doing sign language.

“You know sign language right Y/N?” I nodded my head yes. “Can you teach me a little.” I showed him some signs and had him copy me. He was doing well until we got to one sign. I grabbed his hand and repositioned his hands. He got it right and I smiled. We caught eyes for a moment. Taehyung grabbed my face and kissed me. I pulled away. He looked at me and simultaneously we both leaned back in. Kissing was as far as it went that night. I felt horrible but it felt amazing all at once.

The following day I lived at Taehyungs place. We took pictures upon pictures, listened to music, and enjoyed each others company. I nearly forgot about the problem between Yoongi and I until one night. Taehyung and I spent so much time with each other that something was bound to happen. We ended up sleeping with each other.

I regretted it immediately. I knew we were pushing it, but it happened. Without warning I had betrayed Yoongi’s trust, with the only option of Yoongi never finding out. I stopped hanging out with Tae as much, but texted nearly everyday. I knew he felt confused, but quickly became busy with work so we couldn’t hangout anyways. I loved Yoongi so much and still managed to hurt him during our time apart. Eventually, the communication between Yoongi and I got better and I nearly forget anything ever happened between Tae and I.

That was until a month later when I was sitting on the toilet with the positive pregnancy test in my hand. I had no idea who the father was. I slept with Yoongi and Tae within the same week. Any guess for how far along I was would not be helpful. I didn’t know who to tell or what to do. All I knew was I was pregnant and liked both men I had slept with.

#bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts reader #bts x reader #bts #bts suga #bts v #bts taehyung #bts yoongi #min yoogni #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #yoongi #yoongi imagine #taehyung imagine

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 17 - In Love With Her | ‘Ours’

“I know this isn’t true but I feel like I haven’t been out to a club in time” You giggled when you got shoved by a group of girls shuffling by. Trents face pulled into immediate annoyance almost anger swiftly pulling you tight to him protecting you from the crowds but his emotions shifted when his focus came back to you.  

“That’s not true, we went out in Vegas last month, baby. You don’t remember? I met you in the bathroom and I…” Trent began to remind you of your escapade on your trip for George’s birthday. You definitely remembered.  You definitely were still thinking about it too.

“Yes, Yes, I remember. Thank you, cheeky boy.” You rolled your eyes at him. Trent moved his arm next to your head, hand planted behind you on the wall. He caged you in. Just being this close in proximity to him was intoxicating. You felt drunk but you really didn’t think you were, maybe it was just him. He dragged his thumb over your glossy lips and your breath hitched before he leaned in to kiss you. Your back was plastered against the cool pillar behind you. You honestly couldn’t even remember the name of the club you were in. Everything had gone fuzzy. Seeing Trent illuminated in the colored lights of the club had your mind melting remembering all the times you’d been in one before with him. His effect on you was permanent. It would never fade. It was just the same now as it was the first night at the club you went to the first day you met in New York. 

“Do you ever think you want that?” Jude asked Lauren as they tucked into a velvety couch in the roped off area with two drinks. 

“What? Trent licking my neck? No.” Lauren joked with a serious face eyeing you and Trent still making out where they left you last. 

“Laur…” Jude cooed trying to be serious. She turned to actually look at him. Lauren wasn’t going to assume anything right now but she felt it all night. Tonight was rubbing what she assumed to be a non relationship in her face. She didn’t know what to say other than a joke. Lauren and Jude were together a lot. Lauren was at his house more often than she was at her own. Jet setting around, her holidays conveniently booked by Jude in the same locations as Real Madrid's away games. They were dating and tonight was a double date. They just needed to say it. “Like the dating thing…” Jude clarified for her but Lauren knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I mean they’re getting married, Jude it’s a little more than a date, don’t you think?” She teased him, leaning her head on his shoulder. He kissed her temple and she closed her eyes. Even the way they acted so instinctively and naturally made it so glaringly obvious they were more than what they were pretending they were. 

“Yeah, well, you know what I mean.” Jude wanted Lauren to say it. Lauren wanted Jude to say it. It was a big silent mess but the only thing Lauren could hear at the moment was her heart beating out of her chest. Jude pushed her hair behind her ear to get a better look at her face. She opened her eyes and attempted to keep them fixated on you across the club but he was like a magnet and her gaze shifted.  

“Dating? Erm… I don’t know…we date right?” Lauren sheepish asked. Jude could barely hear her in the loud club. She didn’t want to look into his deep dark eyes but she didn’t really have any other choice making her more nervous than ever.

“Do we date?” Jude said smugly with a coy smile. He was probably a bit more open about feelings and in general with life so he was pushing Lauren to realize what he had realized a month ago. He was trying to not to smile too outwardly though to not make her feel bad but he was gassed she was even this far into the conversation. 

“I mean you fuck me every week…” Lauren began her explanation only in a way Lauren would with a hot take that Jude didn’t love. He gave her a face like ‘really?’ She rolled her eyes. “Fine, we have sex…” She took a deep breath realizing her list of why they were dating continued on much longer than her one point. “You take me out, I sleep at your house even if we aren’t having sex, we buy each other gifts…” Jude laced his fingers with hers, holding her hand. She tried not to smile but he made her heart flutter. She dropped the shy smile forming on her face though. Jude sighed so Lauren continued. “You hold my hand.” Jude picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I know your phone password, I know your family, we talk all the time…I miss you when I’m not with you…I like you… a lot, like I feel like a complete idiot around you,  is that dating to you?” Lauren took another deep breath starting to deep what she had just said.  Once Lauren had spelled it all for Jude, but frankly for herself, she began to realize just how serious things might’ve been. He smiled pretty content with what she had shared. 

“Yeah, I think it is, Laur.” He cooed softly but calmly. His voice didn’t shake, he was ever cool and composed like he always is. She glanced at him inspecting his contrasting features, his unbelievably sharp bone structure yet incredibly soft lips and eyes. He smiled again catching her so Lauren’s eyes darted away fast. He laughed a little. This was incredibly uncharacteristic for her. Lauren was confident, sure of herself, right now she couldn’t be further from that. She was vulnerable around Jude when they were alone. He made her soft and she felt comfortable letting her guard down around him. Jude was light hearted and fun. He was sweet and thoughtful, everything Lauren would love to say she could care less about except Jude really was her dream man. She had fallen into the habit of being mushy with him at home but out at a club where she historically was eager and phlegmatic she found herself reeling with emotions, one of which was a real fear of him.

“Are we having this conversation in a club?” Lauren tried to stop the train from leaving the station. It’s not that she didn’t want this. She just had been avoiding the thoughts that had been clouding in head for months so much so that she hadn’t even confessed to you. She thought if no one knew, they’d dissipate but they only seemed to develop more. She was really overwhelmed by the fact that Jude seemed to know all the things she listed off and she didn’t somehow. He grabbed her chin and cupped her face bringing it close to his. “You don’t have to do this.” She whispered out hesitantly, getting distracted mildly by his close proximity now. He brushed his nose against hers.

“I want to do this.” Jude spoke low in a whisper just for her to hear. His lips ghosted over hers as he talked. He dropped one of his hands to her waist. She wasn’t planning on leaving, having the man she was falling for so close to her but Jude wanted to make sure. He kept a tight grip on her.

“Okay.” She muttered out. He hummed before he finally leaned a centimeter closer and kissed her. Their lips collided in the most electrifying way. Lauren’s eyes closed but she could feel the water build behind her lids. She squeezed them tighter, blinking away the emotion she felt crashing over her as she agreed with him.

“Okay?” He purred, pulling his lips off hers but not going too far. He stayed fearlessly right in front of her. Shamelessly staring deeply into her eyes. He could see the slight gloss. He ran his thumb over her cheek. 

“Okay.” Lauren confirmed once more with an uncontrollable slight smirk pulling at her lips not sure what she had just got herself into.  

Eventually you and Trent pried yourself off each other and decided it was time to join the two people you had come out with. When you returned to the private table you slid onto a seat next to Lauren. You wrapped your arms around her waist and rested your chin on her. You hung out for a long while but it was more dancing, kissing, and drinking then it was talking until there were no drinks left except a few shots no one wanted so Jude and Trent offered to go get more of something else. You could sense there was a weird vibe though. Not weird in a negative way just as if something had changed, like there was a secret but you didn’t know who was keeping one. You nodded dismissing them to go. Lauren moved away from you and you were confused momentarily until she looked at you biting her lip. 

“What? You’re making me nervous.” You laughed pulling one of your legs up onto the seat cushion. Lauren reached out and placed her two hands on each of your knees, steading herself. 

“I think I’m dating Jude?”  Lauren whispered to you so quietly you thought she might've just mouthed the words to you.  

“What?!?” You just about screamed! You tried to jump up for dramatic effect but Lauren’s hands acted as anchor weights on your body. You slapped your hands over the back of hers in shock. 

“Y/N shh! I don’t know, I don’t know, it was all very vague.” She explained a little louder but nevertheless quietly in a panicked tone. She looked at you as if she had just told you she did something horribly wrong.

“Vague?? Lauren!?!” You pressed her for more details but your back was facing the bar so you didn’t see that Trent and Jude were approaching with drinks. Lauren did though so she just shook her head silently at you. You wanted to grill her for more. What had happened during your delay in coming to the table an hour and a half ago.

“For you baby.” Trent cooed, handing you a tequila drink. You smiled, reaching up to kiss his lips. He plopped down onto the seat next to you and pulled you onto his lap. You sat in between his legs on the seat with yours draped over his thigh. You almost spilled your very full drink with his harsh drag of your body. Lauren ripped one of the shots that was still remaining in front of her on the table. You snapped your head from Trent to her, shocked by her sudden movement and brash decision. 

“We’re going to dance.” Lauren told Jude as her hand grabbed his face. It wasn’t as sudden or at the pace at which she took the shot but it was relatively harsh. You blinked your eyes trying not to react so you puffed the air out of your mouth. Trent squeezed your side for comfort, not sure what you were responding to. 

“I’m going to dance.” Jude responded looking back at you and Trent being pulled in the direction away from you by Lauren. Jude had a cheesy smile on his face. He looked like a little kid, thrilled to be in the position he was in and now you maybe were understanding why he was smiling just a little bit more now.  Trent quipped a sarcastic ‘have fun’ comment before you whipped around back to him once they were out of view. 

“I think they’re datingggg!!!!” You quietly screamed, grabbing his face. He winced not expecting your outburst but his shocked face fell into a smile seeing you so excited. He placed his much larger hands over yours before he dragged your hands off his face and guiding his onto your waist.

“Wow..” Trent responded slowly processing what you were saying. You went back and forth for a little while discussing things about the potential of Lauren and Jude dating but you got side tracked when Trent’s hands began to wander.

“Do you want to date me?” You giggled childishly aksing him a very silly question. You didn’t think you were drunk but as the question came out.. Maybe you were.

“No…” He was quick to say no. So quick that you were almost offended but Trent put your worrying mind at ease when he spoke again. “I wanna marry you, pretty girl.” He laughed a little letting out such a cheesy line. He ran his hands under the back of your sweater guiding them over your bare back.

“Oh, I like that better” You sheepishly responded with a little smile, tucking your face into the nape of his neck embarrassed by the cheese. Trent’s hands continued up your back and teasingly played with the clasp of your bra again and again. 

“C’mon baby, don’t be shy. You know I want to marry you.” He spoke right up against your ear closest to him.You could feel his hot minty breath hitting your skin. His fingers caressed down your back. One hand dropping to hold your waist the other pulling your face for him to see. He looked at you completely smitten. He pinched your cheeks together, pursing your lips for you and pulled your body closer to his simultaneously. He gave you nothing but teasing looks waiting for you to initiate the kiss. You leaned in towards his lips with his hand still holding your face. Your own hands dropping to his waist sliding slyly under his t-shirt but you hovered millimeters away from his perfect pout.

“I’m not shy.” You whispered in a voice you didn’t know you did when you were turned on but Trent knew it very well.  

“No? I think you are a little shy. Hiding from me at dinner, won’t kiss me right now..” You cut off Trent’s ramble. You closed the gap between you two, kissing him. It was pure heaven kissing him. He smiled into the kiss. Again and again, Trent pressed kisses to your lips. In the dim lighting of the club he thought you never looked better as he pulled away to inspect your beauty for a moment. 

”I can’t wait to marry you, T.” You cooed hushly, before your hands tugged at his hair to bring him back into a steamy kiss. Your tongues dancing in perfect rhythm. He kissed down your neck finding the spot he knows you love. You felt his plump lips pull into a cheeky smirk against your skin as you stifled a moan. 

“No one else in the fucking world can will ever be able to have you.” He spoke to you murmuring against your neck but you could still hear him clearly.  

“No one else could have me now.” You assured him that whether you were married or not, you weren’t going anywhere.

“I want the government to know that.” He looked up at you with a serious face. You sat back a little to get him off your neck and too really look at him. You giggled seeing the sincerity on his face. He really meant that. “You going to let me take you back to our room now?” He whispered coming in closer to your lips not letting you go too far. You nodded with a juvenile smile and excitement. 

“What are we gonna do there?” You asked him teasingly. He just leaned forward and told you to shut up silently with a kiss.

“You wanted to dance with me?” Jude asked Lauren in a smug tone sliding his hands around her hips from behind as she walked further into the club. His lips ghosting behind the shell of her ear. 

“I wanted to be alone with you. Just wanted to be with you right now. I don’t want to be with them.” Lauren turned around and gazed up at him with a look Jude didn’t see on her face often. Lauren was scared. She looked like a little girl in a way. Her eyes wide and almost bordering on tearful. She was bitting on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. 

“Lauren” Jude said her name as calmly as he could readjusting his hold of her. He held her waist securely close to him but still a good distance apart so he could really see her. “If you’re not ready for this right now, I’ll wait for...” Jude’s sweet words attempting to tell Lauren that he really liked her and enough that he wouldn’t mind holding off on dating if she wasn’t there yet, he’d wait but Lauren cut him off with a kiss. The kiss was hot and charged. Now this was a Lauren Jude did see often. She pulled away out of breath and turned around too embarrassed by her emotions to look at him. He grabbed her hips and pulled her ass back into him. She grinded up against him leaning back and resting her head onto his shoulder. Jude dragged his massive hand down the front of her throat. His lips slowly kissed behind her ear. His other hand beginning to slide over her bare stomach flirting with the waistband of her trousers. 

“I’m ready.” Lauren cooed, confirming she wanted this. She wanted him but even knowing that her voice was still shaky. She rolled her head to the side more to give him room to keep his lips on her. 

“Let me take you home, Laur.” He whispered against her skin. A shiver ran down her spine. They came back and Lauren trotted up the steps to were you and Trent were. You stood up and met her halfway. 

“Hey, I think we’re gonna go home…”  You cooed to Lauren cheekily excited for your night. Lauren had the same look on her face.

“Oh… same.” She smiled at you and then began to laugh. She reached around you and grabbed her bag. 

“Practice abstinence or you could end up with a friend for Teddy!” You joked with her. She rolled her eyes and pinched at your side. She ran over to Trent and gave him a quick hug. Jude stood down below the section so Trent stood up and dapped him up through the railing. I guess they had some sort of mind reading capability that you and Lauren didn’t. They knew exactly what was going on before Lauren had told you she was leaving. You came behind Trent and wrapped one arm around him. You squeezed Jude’s shoulder saying goodbye and you watched them walk out. 

When you got back to the hotel you had no idea what time it was. You flopped onto the bed utterly exhausted though. Trent crawled over top of you. He peeled your sweater off over your head leaving you in just the skimpy bra he had played with early. He was so gentle, peeling off your clothes and then undoing your heels. You pouted at how sweet he was with you. Since having your little girl you felt like Trent treated you fairly delicately. He wasn’t as unrestrained anymore. It was almost like he was scared to hurt the mother of his child. He turned around in the room and pulled his shirt off over his head. His back muscles flexed and danced and your mouth watered. He took off his trousers and your mouth was definitely watering. He turned around to see a hungry lust painted on your face. 

“See anything you like?” he asked with a cheeky smile that made your heart race. He was so fucking pretty. You scooted forward on the bed in just your bra and panties and stuck your arms out beckoning him over to come be with you. In no time he was overtop of you, both you now sans clothes, his hard cock teasing your dripping pussy. He caressed his hand over your cheek. The softest touch you ever felt but you felt your mind shift noticing you weren’t focusing on that sweet touch but more on his hard cock rubbing against you. 

“T… I want you to be rough with me.” You whispered to him with a sweetly juxtaposed smile.

“You want me to be rough?” He asked you stopping his movements looking down at you making sure he heard you correctly.

“Think about it, we're in a hotel, there’s no Teddy, we’re in Spain… it could be fun.” You giggled. Trying to convince not giving great reasons but you were hoping he wouldn’t need any.

“A lot of that doesn’t exactly merit me being rough with you but yeah if you want me to be, baby.” He hovered over top of you a little confused but returning your smile still interested in what you were asking for.

“Like… I want to be a whore for you.” You sounded more shy than you wanted but nevertheless you said it. His eyes widened in shock. I mean you guys definitely got pretty dirty and he had a very clear dominance in the bedroom but… it was rare that any sort of degradation was involved. Calling you anything other than perfect wasn’t really your vibe.

“Baby... I don't.” Trent gritted his teeth not loving the idea. He understood it. It’s not that he didn’t view you in a way where he couldn’t imagine it but he just really preferred taking care of you, praising you, loving you so it took him a moment to wrap his head around this.

“Just a little. Like do whatever you want to me.” You looked at him painfully and confusingly innocent. “When we're at home I’m a mum and right now… I don’t want to be.” You giggled grabbing onto his biceps.

“I get it… “ he blew some air out accepting the idea. “Alright. You think that’ll be fun?” He laughed a little. You nodded “We’re gonna do this my way though.” He told you sternly.

“Okay.” You moaned as he quickly had his lips kissing on your neck, nibbling on your most sensitive spots. Like you weighed nothing Trent rolled you two over. You almost gasped, it caught you so off guard. He moved himself backwards and sat leaned against the hotel bed. He harshly pulled your legs up and over to straddle his thigh. Your heart was racing with excitement. You were trying your best not to smile. 

“You know how much I love you, yeah? How much I respect you?” He asked you a question as his hard wrapped around your throat gently but with pressure. You nodded incredibly turned on. You didn’t realize but you were grinding on his leg already. Rubbing your throbbing clit against his muscular thigh. You were desperately wishing that you were riding him. Trent dropped his serious look when you nodded your understanding. His face fell into pure amusement seeing you now. He pushed his tongue in his cheek with a smile. You frowned at him when he gripped onto your hips holding you down. This was not what you thought you were signing up for. You pawed at his perfectly sculpted thighs begging for more movement, more friction, more of him. He smiled watching you desperately rub on on top of him, making yourself whimper. His hands on you felt like fire. “You like getting off on my thigh, baby.” He laughed, planting a kiss behind your ear teasingly. “Nah, what’s wrong? You said you wanted me, you got me… What’s wrong then?” He looked at you with a devious smile. You whined looking at him with puppy dogs hoping it would sway him but it did nothing. You looked at his hard cock laying up against his abs beginning to leak pre cum onto his tanned skin. It looked so good. You wanted him inside of you so bad you thought you might cry. “I can’t just spoil you all the time, pretty girl.” He cooed in a pompous way that made you want to scream. You had no idea you would get this desperate, you never realized how much he gave to you upfront. He could tell too but he was holding his ground. You asked for this. This was self inflicted. 

“T… please, baby.” You whimpered. You made a poor attempt to grind against him. He loosened his hold on your waist letting your grind down more on him slipping on his thigh making a mess you were so wet. You were dripping all over him. He shook his head, not giving in to your complaints. You let go of his thigh in front of you and greedily wrapped your hands around his length. “I want to ride you, T… please. I need it, I need you, I need your cum.” You greedily begged. Trent swallowed trying his best to withstand this but he was struggling. His hands loosened on you. You quickly took advantage of this and moved off his thigh. You aligned his cock underneath you. You looked him in the eye for approval but he was so taken aback by your sudden movement that he couldn’t process what you were doing. Trent was aching to be buried inside you. You were the same, you couldn’t wait any longer, you had had enough of the teasing. You began to sink down onto his length. Trent threw his head back against the headboard letting out a rough groan. He opened his eyes to watch you take all of him. You looked so fucking hot when you were this needy for him, when you were so desperate that you took what you wanted and what you wanted was him. Your shoulders rolled forward and your jaw slacked, finally feeling him. Trent could’ve cum just from hearing you talking, no begging him like that. 

“Fuck! That what you wanted, baby? You wanted my cock?” He sat up and dropped his hands to your hips helping you move up and down on him. You nodded pathetically. He smacked your ass. Not once, but again and then, when you moaned, again. “Such a good girl for me. Keep riding me just like this, baby. So good for me.” He praised you like he preferred and honestly you fucking loved it. Your pussy clenched every time he told you you were a good girl. He harshly thrusted up into you, pushing so deep it almost knocked the wind out of you. Your body collapsed onto his unable to stay up any longer. He held you tight to him, fucking up into you but not without a sweet kiss to your hair. He rolled you two over to be on top. You started to cry that's how good he was fucking you. He was so deep. You had cried in bed during sex before but Trent needed to make sure you were okay. “Baby… tell me we’re okay, yeah? You want to keep going?” He asked you with the most sincere loving look.

“Yeah, please T. It’s okay, I’m okay, please, T. Keep fucking me. It's so good.” You spoke with a tremor in your voice. He hovered over you propped up by his arms. His strokes were strong and deep. Your foot dragged down his back sensually pulling him closer to you. He moved his face closer to you. You kissed him softly. “I can handle it, promise.”  You cooed. Trent buried his face into your neck with a groan. You loved the way he smelt all the time but there was something about the way he did when he was in bed with you, his cologne had faded, mixed with a bit of sweat and he was so close to you it wafted all around you. 

“Good.” He replied a little relieved you were okay and a lot relieved because he was loving every second of this. “Want me to be rough with you? You want to be a whore just for me?” He whispered in your ear and your pussy clenched exponentially tighter around him. He couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah? You like that baby? You only get to do this with me. No one else can ever touch you.” Trent told you sternly continuing to fuck you. He pulled back and picked up one of your legs switching positions. You looked so perfect underneath him. He didn’t really think of you like his whore, you were a fucking angel for him and only him but he’d play along if it got you like this. 

“I love you. Oh my god, T! Just for you, Only with you.” You whimpered trying to stop yourself from drooling. He smiled hearing you tell him that. His dimples appeared in his gorgeous smile. “Fuck!” You whine, balling the sheets under you into your fists. Trent groaned, feeling and hearing how wet you were. He loved that he got you this way. He leaned over again to whisper in your ear but before he spoke you grabbed onto his wrist squeezing it tightly as he railed into you.  

“Wanna hold my hand baby?” He cooed before he nipped a kiss on your neck. That’s exactly what you wanted. You whined and pouted almost on the verge of tears again. He pulled away from your neck and sat back a little but still remained inside you. 

“T… You moaned desperate for him to continue. He gave you a cheeky smile seeing your pout but then flicked his gaze down to your glistening pussy stuffed full of him. His lips curled into another smile but this one was different. This was a sinister smile. He guided his thumb to your clit and pressed hard shapes down over it. You were squirming beneath him. 

“Baby.” He snapped at you in a cold tone. Your jaw slacked and you tried to still. He pushed his thighs wider to move your legs further apart and upward. The air of the cold hotel room sent a chill up your spine as it reached your sensitive wet core. Then to your surprise Trent slapped his hand against your folds. Not gently mind you, but definitely not overtly mean either just enough to have you whining and fidgeting.

“T, I’m gonna cum. Please!” You cried. He tapped at your sensitive throbbing clit with wet slaps.

“Go ahead, baby. Cum f’me. That’s okay.” Trent didn’t often deny you of an orgasm. He felt like he was winning if that was happening so it was always a bit of an ego boost but you didn’t care what it was you wouldn’t have been able to hold this one. Your high crashed over you and you gushed.Your arousal dripping from your pussy. “Such a messy girl f’me. Such a messy pussy.”  Trent cooed smiling proudly watching you squirt onto him, your release running down your thighs. He ran his thumb back over your clit and you couldn’t handle it. It was way too much. 

“Trent, itt’s too much, ah please, T.” The first name either meant you were really happy or really serious. The desperation in your voice had Trent leaning towards the ladder so he stopped. 

“Good girl. You okay?” He asked sweetly and you nodded. “I love you, baby.  Doing so good f’me.” He cooed, bringing his drenched fingers covered in your sweet arousal up to your mouth. “Taste, beautiful.” He whispered, dragging them over your lips. You opened your mouth and let him push them in. You moaned, swirling your tongue over his fingers. “My good girl.” He cooed once more, pulling them out of your mouth now. He kissed your lips and you whined. “Still want me to hold your hand?” He asked but you couldn’t focus as he began to fuck you again. “Keep being a good girl for me and cum on my cock again. Can you do that f’me?” He asked, beginning to start drilling into you again. You tried to nod but your eyes rolled back before you could in the cutest way. It was very lewd but somehow managed to be cute. After a long while of sheer bliss the knot in your stomach tightened again.

“I’m gonna cum, T… Oh my fucking god!.” You choked out a whine feeling him hit deeper inside. Your pussy was throbbing. “I wanna cum, baby!” You cried out desperately sweet.

 “Tell me how deep you feel me, baby? Tell me first. Show me.” He instructed you sternly but incredibly smooth and loving. It was almost confusing but your head was gone anyways. This was ethereal. Just the way Trent was speaking to you made you feel like you were going to orgasm. You could feel the vein running down the length of his cock slide inside your walls. You moaned pathetically. You threw your head back onto the pillow as your legs began to shake utterly fraught. “Baby” He cooed trying to get you to come back to him and the moment to answer him. 

“Can feel you right here, T. You’re so deep, fuck, baby.” You mewled, taking one of his big hands and guiding it towards the place on your stomach where you could see the impression of him. Trent’s cock twitched and he let out a groan before a small greedy breathless laugh. He leaned forward over you more and nipped at your neck. 

“You take me so well, baby. Shit. You’re fucking perfect.” He purred into your ear. You shut your eyes but opened them wide when you felt him drag his hand back down towards your clit. You were of two minds. Part of you wanted to scream and tell him enough and part of you wanted to scream and tell him you wanted more. He began to rub your clit in precise movements. “Always so wet f’me. Wanna cum with me, baby? I need to cum inside this pussy.”

“T… baby.” you cried. You could only manage his name. You fell apart curse words falling from your lips repeatedly. You were at your limit. The drag of his cock had you almost delirious. His fingers dug into your skin. Trent rolled his head back in pleasure as he thrusted into you one more time before he spilled into your tight heat. You gently tried to roll your hips up into him more to help him ride out his high. “So good f’me, baby. Did so good.” He laid over top of you nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck. He pressed a sweet kiss to your warm skin. After your breathing began to calm slightly he rolled off you collapsing against his side of the bed. You inched back over to him not wanting to be apart for long. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you tight.  Your head laid on his chest. You could hear his heart racing. “Good girl.” He murmured out completely exhausted before he kissed your hair. You giggled. A smile stretching across your face. You almost liked this part better. That’s a lie but it was a close second. “You just wanted to be a little dirty for me, huh?” Trent spoke to you with his eyes closed and a blissful smirk. You had him whipped. He was down bad for your pussy but also completely in another way. Trent didn’t think he could describe it. There was nothing to describe because it was simply indescribable. He couldn’t even tell his friends because as much as they would talk about their sex lives they wouldn’t understand the amount of love he had for you and why it made sex so great. 

“I just don’t want you to forget that I’m still like me, like pre baby me, pre mum. I still want you to want me. To have fun with me.” You giggled shyly stroking your hand over his bicep. 

“Baby, come on… I want you all the time. We can have more fun but I didn’t want to pressure you. We can do this whenever you want. You know I just want to take care of you. I love you so much.” he pouted looking at you. Every time he looked at you, that's what you were. You were the mother of his child. His whole world revolved around you. That didn’t mean he didn’t find you sexy and definitely didn’t mean he didn’t want to have sex all the time but he just was such a melt for you.

“You're such a mushy lover boy.” You teased pitching at his cheek before dragging your thumb over his flushed plump lips.

“Only for you.. embarrassing for you.” He laughed and shook his head. He knew he was down bad. He felt a little pathetic but he didn’t want to be any other way for you. When he woke up in the morning you were tucked in his arms wearing his t-shirt. He smiled looking at your sleeping figure. You looked so beautiful wrapped up like that. He wanted to stare at you all day and the funny thing was he knew he wouldn’t get bored of it either. 

“Hi” you giggled, fluttering your eyes open, feeling his gaze on you. 

“Mmm good morning to the most beautiful girl in the world.” He cooed. 

“Gimme a kiss please.” You whispered greedily and reached up for him. You pecked his lips and tried to return back to your place.

“Nah, gimme a proper kiss please” he spoke softly in the quiet morning. A soft smile took over your face, your hands gliding to cup his cheek. You kissed him softly, your lips moving perfectly sleepily, your bodies heating up again.

“I want you, T…” You moaned into his mouth dragging your body to lay on top of his finding yourself waking up incredibly horny still thinking about last night. 

“Hold on Jude’s calling me…” Trent suddenly stopped your very heated moment. You looked at him like he was crazy. He was stopping you to talk to Jude? He laughed seeing your response. He picked up his phone off the night stand and kissed your temple. “I want to hear about last night!” he explained, gesturing towards you like ‘don’t you?’ You nodded as he answered. 

“Yo, bro you alright?” Jude spoke calmly but something felt… off. 

“Yeah, mate all good.” Trent tried to emulate the same emotion back but clearly they were both beating around the bush about what they wanted to know. 

“Just wanted ask you about something quick, you got a second? Lauren is out with my mum so I only have a little bit of time.” Jude explained. You could hear him say Lauren was out with Denise but not very clearly. You looked at Trent and mouthed excitedly ‘This is my point!’ emphasizing the fact that Lauren and Denise together so often should’ve been a clear indicator that they weren’t nothing. Lauren liked to tell herself she did want a relationship but it was hard to ignore when it was perfectly laid for her. It was so obvious though. She’s was here in Madrid all the time. She was here in Madrid all the time… at his house. Although, she struggled wrapping her head around it. It was almost like Jude was too good for her. Lauren really believed she deserved the best. She deserved a man that looked like Jude, that had the status Jude did but how nice he was to her? Unprecedented. Uncharted territory for her. She was in a group chat with his family. She’d never been a family group chat with a boy’s family before. She was apart of their conversations, their daily life. She knew when his dad’s birthday was. She was rattled Jude and her had even continued talking after they met in Greece let alone know his families birthdays. Oh boy did they talk after Greece. Maybe ‘talking’ isn’t the right word… it did start out more like a sexing escapade but falling asleep on the phone with someone with all her clothes on in another country became more common than the nude photos she was sending. She couldn’t believe she’d wake up in his bed now months later and  she’d want to stay there with him. She didn’t stop him when he held her hand or he kissed her temple. She had become a melt and it terrified her. 

“I think I am dating Lauren.” Jude told Trent with an unsure tone. ‘Act surprised!!’ you mouthed to Trent. You shoved at him excitedly. He nodded understanding you. 

“Shit, really?” He responded as excited as Trent would normally to not freak Jude out. Trent wasn’t exactly someone who was screaming too often. “So, you asked her to be your girlfriend?” Trent asked curiously, wondering how serious their conversation last night was. Your eyes widened hearing Trent say the word. 

“Nah, nah, no. I didn’t. I don’t think it’s like that.” Jude explained. Trent sat up in bed and you followed. You moved to sit beside him crossed legged, laying your head on his shoulder eager to hear what was being said. ‘Move it to speaker’ you whispered, gesturing to Trent. Trent laid his phone on the bed for you to listen as well. He shook his head though turning to face you. ‘This is fucked up’ he mouthed to you ‘He’s talking to me not you.’ You waved your hand dismissing him. 

“I’m not sure she wants to date me. I feel like a fucking idiot, bro. I don’t mean this to sound obnoxious but I’ve been actively choosing to not talk to other girls for her. My messages are stacked.” You rolled your eyes listening to Jude talk about his ‘big sacrifice and full inboxes.'  “but I want her and I am not sure she’s interested in that.” Then Jude continued and you felt bad. You knew Lauren was terrified but you were almost angry at her for making Jude sound so sad. It seemed silly because they both wanted the same thing. 

“Why would you say that? She’s there all the time, mate. She’s with your mum right now. It’s not like Denise would be with her just because. She has to like her.” Trent explained going off his own experience. Mums of all boys and professional athletes on top of that, no matter how kind they were, they were not messing about. They were not putting up with any riff raff Jude or Trent would try to bring home. It maybe would be unexpected to most, although not surprising to you because you’d seen it first hand before but Denise loved Lauren. Despite her outgoing nature and unfiltered mouth around you, Lauren was incredibly polite. She had great people skills. If you put her at a dinner table in any country she’d have the best manners by a mile. She spoke a few languages, she was well traveled, unbelievably smart. Lauren was every parent’s dream until she was sneaking out, and going out. When it came to the hours of the night, things took a different direction. But unless it was Lauren’s own parents, no one knew what was going on. She was incredibly sly. She’d go out till 5 in the morning and arrived to a charity event at 7 am looking like she just walked out of a salon. You admired her craftsmanship and boys were obsessed with it. She embodied ‘lady in the streets but a freak in the bed.’

“Of course my mum likes her. She knows I’m in love with her.” Jude said matter of fact quickly explaining one of the reasons Denise liked Lauren. You slapped your hand over your mouth to suppress the scream you wanted to let out. You flopped back onto the bed kicking your feet . You sat up to listen more though and squeezed Trent bicep. Your long nails dug into his soft skin. “Fuck….” Jude sighed “Don’t… don’t tell Y/N I said that. I gotta figure this out somehow. What do I do?” He sounded so defeated. 

“Ow” Trent swatted at your hand for you to release his arm from your grip. Once you did he turned his attention back to the phone. “You could talk to her, ya know.” Trent said to Jude like it was obvious. “When do you usually talk?” He asked. Jude went silent trying to think of a better answer than the truth. “Okay, well fine. When you’re in bed then.” You smiled loving Trent’s ability to read people. He was so intuitive. It was amazing, sometimes annoying when it was directed at you, but amazing nonetheless. “Ask her then.”

“Bro, I told her last night if she needed time,I’d wait for her but she cut me off and told me she was ready.” Jude explained a brief excerpt of their conversation last night.  

“I don’t see the problem then, what are we talking about here?” Trent asked slightly confused that if Lauren said she was ready what was Jude freaking out about. 

“Bro! I don’t know what I’m talking about! I don’t know what we’re doing.” Jude ranted about him and Lauren very confused. Trent paused thinking for a minute. The line going silent which bothered Jude. “Oh fuck off, mate. I gotta go, they just got back home. Go enjoy your perfect family.” He snipped. 

“I was just thinking! Relax!” Trent laughed at his dramatics. “I’ll talk to you online tomorrow, mate.” Trent said goodbye but Jude was long gone. They’d always be online playing FIFA but you were curious if they’d continue this conversation or skip over it. You guessed you’d find out. 

“I need to talk to Lauren!” You reached for your phone plugged in still on the bedside table. Trent stopped you and grabbed your arm pulling you back to him. 

“You need to not do that. That’s not fair to him. Let them work it out.” Trent explained. You understood his rational it was the more adult thing to do but it was hard not to meddle when there was a potential relationship happening between your friends. You followed Trent’s guidance though. You took a much needed shower after last night but climbed back into bed immediately after. You fell back asleep not long after. Around 8 am Dianne let herself into your hotel room. You had told her to do so. The suite had a few rooms so it wasn’t like she was walking directly into where your bed would be. 

“Good morning” She sang bouncing Teddy in her arms. “I have a very special delivery.” She laughed, kissing Teddy’s cheek. Teddy giggled. You were passed out still but Trent could identify that cute sound from a mile away. 

“My teddy bear, C’mere!” Trent cooed, seeing them enter the other room. Dianne set Teddy on her own two feet. Trent sat upright so she was able to see where he was in the bed. 

“Dada!!” She squealed with a giggle, waking the best and fastest she could to him. Trent shuffled to the side of the bed and scooped her up off the ground under her arms and plopped her to sit on top of his abs. She had the biggest smile on her face. Completely transfixed on him. 

“I like your pretty bows. Did nana do your hair?” Trent asked, pulling one of her tiny ringlet curls straight letting it bounce back. Dianne had put Teddy's hair into two high ponytails with little bows on each one. It was really fucking cute. Teddy nodded and turned back to point to where Dianne was but Dianne had gone into another room already letting you all have your morning after she had waved to Trent. 

“Mama!” In the midst of Teddy’s search to find Dianne she clocked that you were next to her and Trent. She pressed her tiny palm to your face. Leaning her weight down squishing your cheek.

“Oh gentle, Ted. Mummy is sleepy.” Trent cooed with a laugh pulling her chubby arm away from you. Teddy giggled looking in between you two. You woke up with a smile on your face.

“Is that my baby? My beautiful girl!” You pulled her off Trent and into your arms. You squished her to your chest and rolled side to side giving her the tightest hug. “Helllooo. How are you, Teddy girl?” You sang giving her a big kiss.

“Hugwy mama” she cooed. Her little hands grabbing at you. Her face lit up in excitement. You pouted a little bit that she was starting to be able to communicate so effectively. It was a few words here and there but food was important so this was really good. “Should we get breakfast?” You asked and her eyes drew wider. Teddy loved breakfast. You think it was because it was a meal that the three of you got to share a lot together. Before training Trent could spend time with you so the word definitely sparked excitement. You pulled her extra close to you and she giggled more. “Should we invite dada?” You whispered in her ear cheekily looking back over to Trent. You pulled her away from you a little. She squealed for Trent. A loud ‘dada’ echoing through the room. She wiggled out of your hold and crawled back over to him not without practically stepping all over you. Using your face to push off of with her hands for leverage. You couldn’t help but laugh at her eagerness.

“I’ll take you, mama, and nana to breakfast if you gimme a big kiss, Ted.” Trent told Teddy helping her over you. 

“Kiss?” She questioned him and tilted her head. Trent reached up and tapped his finger against his lips. She smiled and leaned forward. 

“Mwah! Good girl. Thank you so so much. You make daddy so happy., baby bear” He cooed with a slight laugh. You got up eventually and told Dianne the plan. Trent showered while you got Teddy dressed and ready then you began to do your makeup. While you were in the ensuite Teddy waddled in carrying your purse to bring it to you. 

“Thank you!” You giggled seeing the bag that wasn’t that big next to you look massive against her small frame. You weren’t dressed yet so you didn’t need it any time soon but you appreciated her effort. It was sweet. “You’re so stylish, Ted. Want to hold onto it for me?” Her face pulled into a greedy smile excited to get to keep hold of it. She just carried it around the room, taking it everywhere she went until you left and even after that.  

“C’mere, baby.” Trent took your hand in his as you walked down a sunny Spanish street while you pushed Teddy’s pram. You had eaten breakfast and decided to take a longer route back to the hotel before your flight home this evening.  Teddy held your bag for you in her seat. She hugged it like it was a stuffed animal, suddenly that was the toy of the day. You didn’t mind, whatever made her happy. “You like mummy’s bag? Should we get you one?” Trent asked her with a childish smile crouching to be level with her as you waited for the crosswalk to change. 

“T… no, that's insane” You smiled at the offer and as funny as it was you knew he was serious. He wanted to buy her a bag. Not one for little girls,  a real designer bag.  

“C’mon it’ll be cute!” He pleaded with you. Dianne shook her head and shrugged when you looked at her for back up. She knew just what you did, if he wanted to do something he was going to do it. 

“Baby, she's 15 months old, I don’t want you to buy her stuff like that. I don’t want her to be like that where she expects you to get her gifts unannounced.” You tried to explain to him the reality of why buying someone under the age of two a bag like this was ridiculous. Yes, they’re investment pieces, you believed that, but what was she going to do with it? You felt the same way when your mom gifted her Judith Leiber.

“What? Like you…” He raised his eyebrows teasing you. He kissed you and slid his hands around you to hold your waist. You relaxed feeling his lips on yours. Forgetting what he was saying momentarily. 

“Funny.” You smiled in your kiss and rolled your eyes. 

“C’mon imagine how cute she’d look matching with her beautiful…” He kissed you again. “Sexy…” Then another kiss. “mummy.” You shook your head as you hid your face in the nape of his neck. “What you being shy for? What? Want me to stop flirting with you?” He laughed a little, cupping your cheeks. 

“You’re flirting with me?” You asked, playing innocent biting back the sly grin forming on your face. 

“Yeah… I’m flirting with you, baby.” He smiled back at you devastatingly beautiful, like always. You felt your heart flutter and your knees go a little weak. That face, that face would get you every single time. 

“I like when you flirt with me.” You admitted running your hands over his shoulders. 

“I'm always going to flirt with you." He cheekily squeezed you ass.

“You’re dumb.” You whispered back to him before pulling away. 

“And you’re beautiful.” He said before he turned back to Dianne and Teddy in her pram. “And you're absolutely perfect. What do you think? Dior? Should we go look, Ted?” He cooed picking her up. 

“I wasn’t ever going to win, was I.” You shut your eyes softly before turning to Dianne again. 

“No hun.” She left wrapping her arm around you as you trailed Trent following his beeline path to the shop. You browsed for quite awhile with a nice sales associate discussing what you wanted now embarrassingly on board with the purchase.

“Wait, this is really cute.” You said aloud.  

“Oh? I’m sorry I thought you didn’t want anything.” Trent teased you pitching your waist while he held Teddy. 

“Hush!” You told him to be quiet before you turned your attention back to the sales associate.” I feel like I don’t want to get her something too niche. Does that make sense? It should still be cute and girlie for her but I don't know.” You babbled on trying to make a decision you couldn’t decide. Trent gave you a smug teasing look. You swatted your hand at him then focused on the two different sizes of a bag the women had pulled out for you.  You landed on getting Teddy a micro Lady Dior and yourself a medium both in the same blue color you thought was good. It was good for all seasons which was always a good thing. You initially thought you wanted a pink shade but you were nervous it would maybe not be her vibe. You were still trying to sus out more and more of her personality. You did ask her though, holding two of the same bag in front of her, one blue, one pink and she pointed to the blue so that was also a driving factor. You checked out and left the store, shopping bags carried by Trent. “Can we say thank you, daddy?” you cooed with a cheesy smile and a soft giggle bouncing Teddy on your hip. Trent just kissed both your foreheads. 

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍

Next part - Chapter 18 xx

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #oursfic #trent alexander arnold smut

[littlemissmiller]

𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆

Pairing: billy the kid x fem!reader

Summary: you’ve been billy’s best friend since he came to Santa Fe. You two always got into trouble together, but lately he’s been distant. one night, billy gets into a fight after a poker game gets out of hand. he comes to you, hoping you’ll bandage him up without giving him anymore trouble than he’s already been in. as you help fix him up, you can’t help but notice how truly handsome he is and then, one thing leads to another…

Warning: 21+ (drinking), heavy fluff, smut, p in v , oral (f reviving) slight dirty talk

Word count: 3.8k

A/N: hello hello hello! i’m back with another lil spicy read. this one is so cute and fluffy and took me forever to write but here we are and i hope to get more out with the show being back. unfortunately I haven’t had time to watch the new episodes but i plan on it tonight. also i do take requests (i mainly write for pedro pascal and tom blyth, but I do a lot of other fandoms too so just ask.) so yeah…it’s a hot fan fiction summer y’all so get ready for the heat 🔥🥵 enjoy loves ♡︎

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It is a warm night. The kinda night that smells fresh and ready for adventure. Billy’s favorite kind of nights. The kind of nights that Billy just loves to make memories getting into trouble. When you and him were kids, there was nothing better than sneaking out with Billy. Going out into town, sneaking into bars mainly, but occasionally the two of you would ride out into the hills, just to get a better view of the stars. Sharing a bottle of stolen liquor from the local boarding house, the two of you would gaze up, trying to count them all and connecting the dots into your own pictures and making up your own stories. You always had a soft spot in your heart for him, and truly felt as if that feeling only extended to a friendship. That’s what you told yourself anyways.

So tonight reminded him of one of those many nights he had shared with you. As he enters the saloon, he feels lucky and optimistic. But as he exits, he stumbles into the dirt pavement as he’s pushed back onto the ground by another patron.

“You’re a damn cheat kid!” A burly man yelled down at Billy

He spits the blood out of his mouth and glances his eyes back onto the man who hit him. He stands over Billy, his angry scowl growing on his face.

“I play fair. Can’t help you, can't take it on the chin like a real man.” Billy spits at him

With that the man moves in, running up to kick him in the stomach. Billy, quick as ever, turns over and runs back up on his feet. He holds his hand over his holster, ready to defend himself if need be, even though he was still practicing his quick draw in his mirror, he wasn’t a bad shot. The man strode forward, snarling at him, drunkenly raising his right hook. Billy easily avoided him, but suddenly another man grabbed his shoulder and he tried to wrangle himself free. The drunk man launches forward, aiming for his face, missing, but still landing a nasty punch to his stomach. He spits out more blood, but holds his head up. The man swings again, this time landing him square in the jaw. Billy could feel the cold metal of his ring as it grazes against his chin.

Billy grunts, the man holding him from behind knees him hard under his thighs and Billy decides he has had enough. In a moment of quick thinking, Billy kicks in the kneecaps of the man holding him, and he falls back. Billy whips out his pistol, and points it at the drunk man. The drunk man, seemingly not aware or afraid of the gun in his face lunges toward him, but in his drunken state, he falls down. Billy spits on him, kicking the dirt up in his face as he runs off, heading in the direction of your house.

Meanwhile, you’re still awake, deeply immersed in an old copy of Romeo and Juliet. The flame from your candle was slowly lulling you into sleep and just as you’re about to blow it out, you hear a rapid knocking on your door. You have a feeling you know who it is, but nonetheless you call out asking “who is it?”while opening the door.

Billy stands at your doorway, holding his stomach, bent over slightly. His lip is beat and bloody. His eyes look up at your own briefly as he whines in pain. You usher him inside and he limps in.

“Christ Billy, what happened?”

“Man couldn’t handle a poker loss.” He explains, reaching into his back pocket and lays down a wad of cash, about $10 worth.

“You won that?”

“Yeah. Gotta keep some money safe for my Ma. Those assholes were so drunk they forgot how to count chips” he groans, stumbling into your kitchen chair. He continues to hold his stomach in pain.

“They think you tried to cheat them?” You ask

He nods, wincing, his face scrunching up in pain. You rush over to him, kneeling at his side.

“Well, your ma is going to be in a fit if she sees you like this.” You say, fingers dancing across his jaw. You move his chin to get a better look at his swollen lip. Whoever had fought him, had given him.

“Yeah. Plan is to be out all day tomorrow. Let the swelling die down. But for now, can you help patch me up?” He groans

“Oh” you scoff jokingly

You stand up, smiling at him, and heading into your bedroom to grab a first aid kit. You were no nurse, but you knew how to help bandage him up enough so that you can make him look pretty again. It was hard to deny that your best friend is unbearably handsome. It wasn’t something you had noticed before, especially growing up, but this summer he had changed. His face had lost all its round baby fat, and his sharp features showed just how handsome he really was. You think it’s his eyes. They are a deep blue, and stand out from the rest of his features. They capture you and draw you into him.

Nowadays, every time you look into them you nearly drown. Your thoughts get carried away with the thought of him bare on top of you, those same eyes trailing down your body, admiring your beauty. You have to frequently remind yourself to think of other things.

You scurry back into your kitchen. You run over to your liquor cabinet, grabbing the highest proof whisky you have. You turn and kneel back beside him. You open the kit, and get out some bandages. You unscrew the cap to the whiskey and pour some of it on a cloth.

“I’d much rather just drink it.” He smirks

“Fine, but I still need to clean your wound.” You explain, dapping the cloth on his split open mouth. He winces at the sting of the alcohol. He pulls back in pain, grabbing the bottle and taking a swig.

“Fuck” he grits

“I know I know I’m sorry…just let me…” you apologize, dabbing under his lip and on his jaw where a fresh cut had been sitting on his chin.

“This cut? Did one of them have a ring.”

“I guess so.”

You sigh. He sounds so reckless. So careless in his demeanor. Yet, as you clean him off you can’t help but admire how smooth his skin is, how this closeness felt strangely intimate. The overwhelming feeling to kiss his perfect jawline was a temptation like no other. The way his beautiful eyes occasionally glances at you makes your heart melt, and your breath feels shaky. You calm yourself and refocus your attention back on his bloody face.

“Oh Billy…” you sigh, shaking your head.

“Ain’t my fault I’m a good card player. Ain’t my fault I’m young and better enough to beat them old men at their own game.”

“You just need to be more careful Billy. One of these days you’re gonna get really hurt.” You warn

“I can handle myself.” He quips

“Yeah apparently enough to go on adventures all by yourself now huh?” You raise an eyebrow at him

He scoffs and hangs his head, turning away from you.

“You know one of these days Billy you’re gonna get too ahead of yourself and get into real trouble. Real trouble you ain’t gonna get yourself out of. Then what?” You ask, cleaning up the last of the blood.

At this point, Billy was on the brink of losing it. Why are you giving him so much grief over this? A bar fight nonetheless? Something as naturally occurring as the desert heat in Santa Fe. Angry, you force him to look at you, turning his chin toward you.

He huffs, his breathing heavy.

“Do you really want your poor Ma to visit you in a jail cell?”

You take it too far. Even you know it. The moment the sentence spills for your lips it hits Billy’s ears like a ton of bricks.

“I just- I’m sorry I just…”

Billy grabs your hand, forcing it away from his chin and into your lap.

“No. You’ve said enough. I thought you were my friend. Why you talking down on me like you raised me?” He sneers

“Because I don’t want to see you hanging from a tree!” You shout

Billy’s eyes widen and yours fill up with tears.

“And one of these days I’m afraid that that’s the last I’ll ever see of ya! Since you like to run on your own now. I guess I ain’t good enough to tag along with you anymore either?”

“Is this what you’re mad about? I don’t understand you’re worried I’m gonna get myself into trouble, but you also want to seem to tag along. So which one is it?” He asks, shaking his head.

“Maybe I want to tag along to make sure you stay out of trouble.” You whisper harshly, holding back your sobs.

He hangs his head, sighing your name.

“Maybe I don’t take you anywhere no more to keep you safe. You know I ain’t nothing but trouble these days.”

“You say that like it’s written in stone somewhere. Like it’s meant to be. Why Billy? Why do you think you have to be no good?

“I don’t think I have to be, but if I wanna protect my family then I may have to do things I ain’t proud of…especially if I have to protect you…” he breathes

“What do you mean?”

“Ain’t it obvious, darling?”

You shake your head in confusion and raise an eyebrow

“No?”

He sighs and leans in.

“Because you mean everything to me.” He gasps and not being able to control himself any longer, he swiftly cups your face, dragging your face to his own and kisses you deeply. You moan in surprise, letting his soft lips consume your own. He pulls back all too quickly though, feeling guilty for being so bold. What if you didn’t like him like that? Then you nod and he smiles. His lips look so soft and inviting and you lean back in. You firmly press your lips against his, your hand clutching the back of his head, pushing him towards you. You run your fingers through his brown soft locks. You’re kissing him back, and seem to want more, which Billy didn’t expect.

“See you what I mean?” He mumbles against your lips, smiling.

You nod in response.

“Billy…” you whisper

“Yes, darling?”

You stand up and slide onto his lap, wrapping your hands around his neck.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that.”

“Me too, I thought maybe you’d reject me.” He smiles, gently rubbing your thigh, hiking your dress up slightly.

“Why do you think I was so upset with you? You smile and with his other hand, he strokes your cheek with his thumb.

“I’m sorry I was so distant, but now you know why I’ve been acting like you’re nothing to me. I’ve been a complete ass I know. Let me make it up to you?”

He leans in again as you nod. Now that your collective previously unspoken feelings have come to light, there is no holding back. For both of you. Billy moves more quickly, his mouth becoming more needy for you, and you love it. He pokes his tongue through, exploring your mouth. You let him in, wanting more of whatever he gives you. You can’t help but moan against his mouth and he holds your face tighter. You can barely keep up with him, it’s so apparent that he wants you based on the way he practically consumes you. Every kiss feels like a flame that burns your lips, seering the very memory of his lip on your own. You could do this for hours. Kissing Billy was one thing, but completely losing yourself in this messy, raw passion was another. He pulls back to look at you, capturing the moment and image of you to memory. You can tell he wants to say something, but you already know.

“I know Billy, me too…”

He smirks and places a quick kiss on your lips. He smiles, giving you the most goofy, boyish look. He rubs your cheeks in his hands, feeling ever so loved by him. He moved them to your neck and continues to kiss you. He moves his mouth slowly to your chin, down to your jawline and onto your neck. You move your head to the side to give him more space and he practically attacks you. You gasp as he moves his hands down under your dress and up your thighs.

“Can I?” He breathes

“You can…take me to my room first” you whisper, batting your eyes at him. He nods enthusiastically, waiting no time to swoop you up into his arms. Your legs dangle from the crook of his elbow and you hang onto him. He kisses your neck and jaw and he carries you into your bedroom. Once there, he sets you down on the bed and slips his suspenders off his shoulders. He starts to unbutton his shirt, then falls onto you, catching himself and caging you with his arms. He just can’t help himself. He wants to kiss you now that he has you all to himself. He unbuttons the rest of his shirt, tossing it aside and dancing his fingers up to the strings of your dress. You admire his lean figure, his body so toned and handsome.

“Now can I?” He smirks

You nod and he starts to untie the front of your dress. His eyes meet your own, and you start to feel lost in the ocean of his irises. Once he loosens your dress he pulls it past your shoulders, his fingers dancing over your collar bone, following the delicate fabric as it falls down your body. He leans down, kissing the crook of your neck, shoulder and just along your cleavage. You grasp the back of his head, close your eyes and let yourself go under the touch of his lips. You start to slowly and quietly chant his name, fingers running up and down his neck as the sensation of his touch sends you into bliss. He smiles as he presses his mouth against your skin, soaking in the way you melt under him.

“Is this ok?” He asks

“Of course, Billy. Please, don’t stop…” you plea

He slips your dress down more, revealing your chest to him. He gaps in awe, starting to cup and knead your breast. He pinches the nipple before diving down and sucking. You arch your back in response, moaning and biting down on your lip. He swirls it around his mouth, before moving his lips to give the other breast the same attention. His other hand moves down to hike up your dress and he finds the lining of your panties. He looks at you again for approval and you mouth “yes” to him.

With that, he pulls them down and tosses them aside. He trails his fingers to your core, finding your heat and rubbing your clit. He is slow and you love it. He wants to take his time with you, show you how much he loves you and wants to please you. You spread your legs, knees drawing closer to your chest. He shuffles his body more in-between them. He starts to move his hips against you, excited at the idea of seeing you fully bare before him. You simultaneously shift out of your dress, Billy helping to pull the rest down. Once you are fully naked, he takes time to take you in.

“Christ darling, you’re a beauty.”

He rubs your hips, running his hands up to your waist and gripping tight. He pulls you forward as he slides down the bed onto his knees.

“Billy you don’t have to…” you breath

He kisses your thigh and smiles greedily.

“Believe me I want to. Let me?” He practically begs, doe eyes glimmering with desire.

You push your hips forward, readjusting to get closer to his face. You nod wordlessly and he kisses up your thigh. Once he reaches your core, he cautiously presses a kiss to your clit. You gasp, resting on your elbows as you start to feel your body relax on his tongue. He licks a curious broad stripe up your entire slit, before giving it small, precise kitten licks. Then, he wraps his mouth around it, sucking and pulling at the sensitive bundle of nerves. Meanwhile, you let your moans and whines stumble from your lips. He loves it, your sounds of pleasure showing him just how much you wanted him.

At this point Billy feels drunker than whiskey off the taste of you, your juices a delicious, exotic, elixir to him. Like water in the desert, he drinks you up. He holds your thighs in his arms, massaging them while he moves his face as he also moves his tongue. You grab his hair, his soft brown lock tangling in your fingers. You also grab onto one of the hands grabbing your thigh. He glances up at you, pulling back for a moment to smile at you and appreciating your affectionate attention. You love the way he makes you feel and he can tell.

“Feels so good, fuck keep going…”

“So vulgar.” He smirks

“Are you kidding me, my best friend is eating me out and he’s doing a god damn spectacular job of it. How could I not let my tongue get the better of me.” You smirk, lips sliding into a satisfied grin.

“I’m still just your best friend…”

“Maybe a little bit more than a friend after tonight. Is that what you want?” You ask, dreamily

“Yes, darling, more than anything.”

He dives back in, lapping you up and greedily drinking your juices again. He’s almost animalistic as he moves his month, hands moving to grope your ass. You lift your hips to allow him. He moans against your core, needing more and more of you. He gives your clit a few soft kisses, then pulls back and climbs back on top of you.

As he does, he loosens his belt and starts to pull down his pants. He slides out of them, showing you the growing bulge in between his legs. He takes himself in his hand, stroking and you gawk at him. You had always heard that taller, leaner men had the real tools to satisfy a woman and it seems Billy was living proof. His cock was so long and thick, tip red and ready. He wipes the pre-cum along it, moving it down his shaft, slightly lubing himself. You love that you and him are bare like this and you readjust your hips in anticipation. He licks his hand then places it on your pussy, swirling his fingers.

You clutch his biceps, mouth agape as he rubs your entrance with his tip.

“Please…” you beg

He slides in, stretching you out perfectly.

“Mmmm oh fuck, you’re so perfect wrapped around me.”

He sinks in deeper and deeper until he hits your cervix. You let out a loud groan, adjusting to his size. He cups your face, going back and forth in between your beautiful eyes and the place where his cock meets your entrance. He moves his hips slowly, afraid that he might hurt you. After a few thrusts you start to feel your pleasure return, and you ride your new wave of ecstasy. He feels so incredible, his length filling you up so perfectly and as he speeds up, you feel overwhelmed. The rhythm of his cock so relaxing and mesmerizing, it almost lulls you to sleep. He notices and kisses you.

“Fuck Billy, I wanted you like this so bad.”

“Me too, so fucking bad.”

He quickens his pace, giving you more of him and you smile against his lips. You let out a few breathy laughs and he rocks you on the bed. He keeps going like this for a while, kissing you and admiring your beauty.

“Maybe we should withhold our feelings from each other more often, because I don’t know about you but admitting your love for me like this feels incredible.” You mumble

“Mmm I could be in you all night.” He responds

“I have no quarrel with that.”

Billy and you both share a small, quaint laugh and he rolls you over. He starts to sit up and his lips lock with your own. He starts to move your hips and in return you pick them up and bounce. He pulls back, gasping and watches you as you move on him. He utterly transfixed on how your waist and hips move smoothly, how your tits bounce, and how elegant you are. You’re made for him. He moves his hand up and down your stomach and you steady yourself, placing your hands around his neck. Tempted by the way you move on him, he pops one of your breasts into his mouth, sucking at your flesh. He pulls your nipple into his mouth, making you groan and clutch his head.

“My god how did you get to be so perfect?” He questions

“Am I perfect?” You snicker

“More than that, if even possible.”

“Now you’re just being nice” you huff

“Not true darling, not true at all.”

Before you can protest, his lips silence you. Billy pumps into you, lips refusing to leave yours as he feels you clench down on him. You’re close and you cling to him as he sends you over the edge.

“Oh Billy, Billy, you’re gonna make me…you’re gonna make me cum…1fuck!”

He nods into the crook of your neck and you feel yourself becoming undone. You writhe on top of him, arching your back and letting the euphoria overtake you. You reach a peak then slowly come down, catching your breath as you do. He flips you over, eager to satisfy his own needs. He pumps his length into you, messily, his actions becoming more and more sloppy. You can feel he’s close.

“Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum on your stomach okay?” He informs and you nod.

A few more pumps and then, he pulls out. Strings a warm, white cum spill onto your stomach and even up to the valley of your breasts. He rubs himself as the last few drops spill from his tip. He catches his breath, looking around for something to clean you off with. He reaches over on the night stand and takes the towel from inside the wash basin. He cleans you up, then kisses you softly.

“I love you. I always have.” He whispers

“Me too Billy. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

꧁✩★✩꧂

#billy the kid #billy the kid x you smut #billy the kid smut #william bonney x reader smut #william bonney smut #william bonney #smut #fan fiction #william bonney x reader #billy the kid romance #billy the kid x fem!reader #x reader smut #x reader #x you #tom blyth characters #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth #tom blyth smut #billy the kid x reader smut #billy the kid fluff #billy the kid x reader #billy the kid x you #billy the kid fanfiction #fan fic smut #fan fic

[iceemoondemon]

Hi, i post here again :3

Anyways, here's some doodles of Violet Sorbet Cookie

AND NOW TIME FOR SOME INFORMATION ABOUT HER!!

🍨💜Violet Sorbet Cookie - A wizard specialized in healing, and baking, she's caring, and helpful to all, and loves ocean sightings, and starry nights, she loves her friends as well. she's a student in the Parfaedian Academy, and she gets along with the teachers, and Almond Cookie

As a child, she lived in a small house with four people in her family, her mom, dad, and her two sisters, the house was peaceful, and harmonic for the family, they would plan parties, game nights, and dinner nights, even go on carnival trips at times, but that one day, things started to crash, her mother, and father passed away from an unknown illness that was never going to be cured, and since the day they both passed, her sisters became brutal, violent, and they started to torment the poor Violet Sorbet Cookie, this would happen for three months, until it was finally dealt with, Violet Sorbet Cookie's sisters finally got arrested, and she moved to Parfaedia, and she went to the Parfaedia Academy to learn about magic specialties, two magical specialties that she learned are Baking, and Healing, there were other spells that she could learn in the future..

She has a photo of her family, and it reminded her of the old times when her family wasn't gone, her sisters, in prison, her mom, and dad, dead, she traveled to the Dark Cacao Kingdom, crying to herself, until she found a new friend, The Second Watcher.

The moment the Second Watcher comforted her, they both had this bond, a platonic one, and Second Watcher felt like Violet Sorbet Cookie could be his daughter, his adoptive daughter..

The years passed, and Violet Sorbet Cookie finally reunites with her adoptive father, it's been a long while since she last saw him.

NON VHS VERSION

#my oc #oc #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #au #crk #crk oc #crk au #second watcher cookie #second watcher #violet sorbet cookie #cookie run kingdom oc #cookie run oc #cookie run kingdom ocs #cr kingdom #crk fanart #cookie run kingdom atsuri baddies #cookie run kingdom au #crk art

[silverskye13]

A lot of people ask me for writing advice, and I often respond with variations of the phrase "read a lot and analyze that writing." But I don't give a lot of examples of what I mean by analyze so, here's a rant about something I liked recently!

Minor spoilers for Paladin's Faith by T Kingfisher below:

I'm rereading [for the 4th time whoops] Paladin's Faith by T Kingfisher, and noticed a very interesting chapter that did some very subtle, but decently heavy lifting for the ensuing plot points.

There is a chapter where Shane, after dealing with regency shenanigans, goes to have a pint of beer with a character who invited him out earlier in the plot. Most of their conversation is meandering and character building: Shane is very obviously starting to fall for his love interest Marguerite, and these little moments start to really ingrain how much he is thinking about her. The character he's drinking with tells his own little anecdotes about falling, and being, in love. During the course of the conversation, very close to the beginning, before the expected pining conversation, the character he's talking to mentions "Hey, sorry the beer here is kinda bad. There is a boatman's strike going on right now."

Because of this big regency gala going on, the boats and ferries are striking for better wages and better treatment. They're sure to get what they want, because at some point, the rich folks on the other side of the river are going to run out of fancy food and wine, but for now, no boats or ferries are allowed to cross the lake.

Shane takes this in stride, decides the beer is fine, and moves on. They talk about love. Shane leaves the bar. On the way back from the bar, Shane is attacked. At this point in the story, the author has established that Shane is here to protect his love interest, and assassins could be coming for her at any time. This is our first instance of violence against the main characters, and it's short and thrilling! Finally some payoff for the undercurrent of danger these courtly scenes have been giving us! And we get to see Shane's skills as a competent protector demonstrated. The scene is short because he's quick and competent, even while drunk. It's planting for later fights, where Shane will eventually be called on to do more impressive things: look at how dangerous our main character is!

Later, shit hits the fan [as these stories go] and Shane and company have to escape from the gala. Once again, Shane's night out for drinks is brought up, this time from Marguerite's perspective. She talks about the fight he got into, how that was probably a test by the people after her to see how she responded, and she failed that test. Now they're going to have to run for it, with enemies on their heels. There's more fight scenes that are intense and thrilling, well set up by Shane's previous fight. He and Wren's efficiency and ability and prowess pull them through spectacularly, and the group makes it all the way down to the docks. It is a fantastic mirror for Shane's night, the author even went out of her way to remind you of it! And then the group is confronted by the fact that there are no boats on the docks.

Oh. Right. The strike.

I really, really love how those two scenes work together, how well they're planted, and how awesome the surprise of the boat strike is buried. When it's presented, it sounds like simple world building. It makes the world feel more alive, gives the characters a reason to complain about the alcohol and start their conversation. The boatmen being on strike is maybe one paragraph, buried in romantic pining, hidden behind a violent attack. Even Shane, who has been reliably giving Marguerite all the insignificant information he learns throughout the mission, forgets to tell her about the strike because he was wounded. And, if you are analyzing a story for story mechanics and plot devices, most people will point to him going for drinks as the vehicle for the Very Important attack scene. Not the Attack Scene as the smokescreen for the Very Important Boat Strike.

This boat strike sets up the rest of the novel. The rest of the characters' journey is dictated by the fact that they couldn't cross the lake to get away, they have to wander out into the wilderness instead. It's almost divine intervention on the plot: they wouldn't reach their goal without it, or if they did, it would've taken much longer. It marks a turning point in the novel, where political intrigue drops off abruptly for the much more action-fantasy second half of the story, and it was buried in one paragraph of text in a chapter with much more interesting things going on. I absolutely adore that execution, especially given both the buried strike point and Shane getting jumped were plot important. Both have payoffs in the same upcoming chapter. But the one you thought would be important has a much smaller ripple on the story than the other. Very good trope finessing and I adore it. Taking notes to use in my own writing.

#spazzcat barks #t kingfisher #paladin's faith #writing analysis

[widowsistersandfriends]

Comfort

Request: Hello ! I Hope you’re fine and you’re doing well :) I saw a headcanon on @ficsandgiggles page about Natasha and Clint and I was wondering if you would be ok to write that ? The fact that Natasha, after the red room, felt so touch starved and afraid of light touch and Clint comforting her with tickles seems so cute to me ! But if you don’t feel comfortable doing that it’s totally fine In understand ! Have a good day :)

Note: Hi! I am doing well and I appreciate you for asking! Thank you for this cute request! I enjoy Natasha and Clint's bond as best friends <3 I apologize for the delay, but I hope you like it!!

Word Count: 684

-----------------------------------------------------

The Red Room was nothing but trauma for Natasha. All the years she was controlled and forced to do horrible things against her will. One of the major results from the Red Room was that Natasha no longer felt safe or comfortable with touch. It was very rare that she would allow someone to touch or even hug her. The only people she allowed to do that were Yelena, Wanda, and Clint at times.

Some days were more difficult than others. Sometimes she wouldn’t even think about her past trauma. Other days she couldn’t stop being reminded. Today was unfortunately one of those days. She was huddled in her room, tears slowly running down her face. She couldn’t help but think about all the time that was stolen from her childhood. Time that she couldn’t get back. 

Just then there was a soft knock at her door.

“Natasha? Can I come in?” 

Natasha got up slowly and opened the door for the unexpected visitor.

Clint was revealed at the door as he slowly stepped inside. The two of them sat on the bed, keeping quiet for a moment.

“Rough day on the mind?” Clint asked, encouraging her to speak about how she was feeling. 

“I just got triggered. It usually doesn’t overwhelm me to this point, but there’s always those days,” Natasha sighed.

“I know you’ve been through a rough childhood. It’s okay to mourn it and even feel jealous of those who were able to have a normal childhood,” Clint said. 

Natasha nodded to show she was listening.

“And I know it’s hard because you can’t change the past. However, you’re free now and you can change your future. You’ve already helped so many young girls not have to go through what you did. That alone is an accomplishment in life not many other people have,” Clint said, softly patting her back.

“Thank you, Clint. That was very sweet of you,” Natasha responded, wiping away her remaining tears.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for. I know Yelena is usually where you go for comfort, but I’m always gonna be here for you, I promise,” Clint said sincerely, opening his arms for a hug.

Natasha embraced him warmly, squeezing him tight. 

“You know, for someone so old you sure can put words together well,” Natasha said cheekily.

Clint rolled his eyes, as he was used to Natasha making fun of his age. However, this sparked an idea in his mind.

“You know what you need? Cheer up tickles,” Clint said, now asking for permission since he knew how traumatized she was from most touch. 

Natasha nodded, telling him to be gentle. Clint promised he would stop whenever she said so. 

He began to softly tickle her sides, making her giggle adorably. 

“Wow, so that hasn’t changed,” Clint remarked, tickling her stomach and ribs now as her laughter went up an octave. 

Clint then moved to tickle her feet, making her squeal with laughter.

“CLIHIHINT,” Natasha laughed hysterically.

“Hmm? What’s wrong? Does that tickle?” Clint said, loving the fact that he was able to make her laugh and smile. 

“YEHEHES,” Natasha giggled out, as Clint flipped her over and began gently tickling her back, making her giggle and squirm softly. He knew this wouldn’t overwhelm her, but was just enough to keep her giggling.

When Natasha had enough, he let her up and got her some water which she much appreciated.

The two of them chatted a bit more, talking about different topics to keep her mind off of her past. After a while, Natasha was starting to feel mischievous and reached out to pinch his side. Clint yelped in surprise and jumped away from her. 

“Natasha! Don’t get any ideas,” he warned her. 

“You know what would really cheer me up? If I got to wreck you with tickles,” Natasha said, now pinning Clint to the bed and tickling his armpits, sending the archer into a flurry of laughter. Natasha giggled along with him at his extreme reactions. Clint was willing to take a wrecking, as long as it made Natasha happy and smile. 

#natasha romanoff #clint barton #marvel tickle #mcu tickle #black widow #marvel tickle fic #tickle fic #ticklish!natasha #ler!clint #ticklish!clint #lee!nat #ler!nat #ler!natasha #avengers #avengers tickle #avengers tickle fic #tickle community #sfw tickle #sfw tickle community #sfw tickle fic #tickle fanfic #tickle fanfiction

[todayisafridaynight]

what i love about daigo in YK2 is that he could be in a literal sea of people and ninety years away from me but because of his bright ass loud ass big ass jacket i’ll be able to see him even if he’s three pixels on my screen

#snap chats #reminiscing on playin YK2 yesterday real quick dont mind me #this fucker really watched me get beat up on my way to him #like i got into a brawl and this dude is just on the side minding his business like Yeah Ok Whatever Kiryu You Got It #bro got the Audacity to clap at the end of the fight too like liste i know you got crowd ai rn #but i cannot wait to smack the shit out of you two games from now #BUT MOVING ON TO THE OTHER MOMENT I GOT REMINDED OF #i was literally on the other side of the bridge and there was In Fact a huge crowd of people #and i didnt even think i was on the right bridge honestly but no i see his fucking jacket a million years away like 'there's the bitch' #that girl at the convention was right you really CAN identify that jacket from a mile away my god #ok im gone fr this time. hopefully. prob not.

[transgender-catboy]

I love my friends

#i think im just going to talk in the tags for a moment. got a lot on my mind #for starters. the fnaf movie comes out soon. really looking forward to that. think its gonna be awesome and amazing and I'm super excited!!! #secondly. waiting on funds so i can buy that mask i saw the other day and some Halloween candy from Walmart #i . want to do little goodie bags for the kids in my building. but im too scared to go up to their parents and ask candy preference and #allergy concerns. so. idk. maybe I'll just save it. I think it's a cute concept but it makes me feel like my mother. #she loved to do little gift things for people. but it was always people that didn't like her. i don't want to be that way #i know my value. i know my time and energy means something. i don't want to waste it on people who don't give a shit. ya know? #not saying the kids are those kinds of people. not what i mean. but just as an overall thing. i don't like being like her. #...yeah. i dunno. you get raised by one person your whole life. you pick up some of their characteristics #i can't sob without sounding like her. safe to say i am a little emotionally constipated. so i seek other means to relieve that feeling. #like yesterday when i threw up. i played it off like that was a blunder on my body. but i know what i did. #hey. at least it's not the other method. right?. .. yeah. okay. i know. not great either #but it hurts. and I'm so fucking sick and tired of crying over her. genuinely. it's exhausting crying all the time #but that's the only way I can get those emotions out #I've tried to do the counseling thing. but other things made that impossible. then i moved. #and i tried the grief thing but instead i just got a talking buddy? he helps me get out of the house yeah. #but we dont talk about her #... i dunno. I'm just here. #guess i waited long enough. now you get a mini secret. every time i make an i love my friends post. I'm reminding myself why I'm still going #I'm usually sitting around somewhere in my apartment (desk couch bed) crying. alone. thinking about you guys. #so uh. thank you. #i love you guys so much. and i don't know where I'd be without you #probably dead. #💖 #vent