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#* general / crack !
chimaerakitten · 2 years
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people write AUs where characters from a fantasy universe are in like, the setting or plot situation of another non-fantasy story all the time, and usually it’s a no-powers version of those characters because more often than not the powers would absolutely break all the stakes of the au.
And that’s totally logical and makes sense, but I think the version where the transplanted characters get to keep their powers and break the stakes has hilarious and underutilized crack potential.
Like just once I’d like to read “The 74th annual Hunger Games goes absolutely tits up and nobody knows why none of the kids seem to be dying despite some serious effort on the part of the gamemakers. Meanwhile sharp-eyed viewers at home may notice that the shy and unassuming male tribute from district 11—whose personal item was a pair of costume glasses—hasn’t been seen on-camera even once since the opening gong. But not many people do notice. After all, in all the pageantry leading up to the games, no tribute was more boring than Clark Kent."
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the-witchhunter · 10 months
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DP x DC Where do you work again?
Danny actually managed to rent a pretty nice apartment in a safe neighborhood of Gotham, which does not come cheap. How did he do it? Well, it seems like he works for half the businesses in Gotham.
The Waynes see him everywhere. Who’s the barista in the coffee shop Tim and Steph frequent? Danny. Who’s the cute tattoo artist working the shop across from Jason’s current safehouse? Danny(with ink). Who’s that working the floral shop whenever Bruce visits his parents and Jason’s graves? Danny. Who’s the bartender when a certain Matches Malone wants to get a drink? Danny. Who did Alfred just hire to do some groundskeeping? An independent contractor... that happens to be Danny. The new janitor at Damien’s school? You guessed it: Danny
Danny is just literally everywhere and seemingly working every job under the smog clouded sky of Gotham and it’s driving a Bat/Bats nuts. It might all take them a surprisingly long time ro realize they’re all talking about the same Danny, but when they do all hell breaks loose. How does he do it? When does he sleep? Is it clones? If so how do they all seem to remember them each time they run into each other? A hive mind?
or
Through a combination of time shenanigans and duplication, Danny is working a bunch of jobs to afford it all. Upside, soooo many employee discounts. Downside? He’s his own roommate and neither of them want to do the dishes
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lemonandlime22 · 10 months
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Randomly generated incorrect quotes pt 40 Obey me! (a few changed) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diavolo: Yesterday, I overheard Mammon saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Mc replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.
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Thirteen: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
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Mc: Do you want some tea? Solomon: What are the options? Mc: Yes or no.
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Satan: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies. Asmo: You’re too young to have enemies. Satan: You don’t even know.
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*Squad is playing Among Us* Levi: I believe Mephisto is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Beel, what were you doing? Beel: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!
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Diavolo: How would you guys deal with a toxic friend? Barbatos: Tell them how you really feel. Satan: Slowly distance yourself from them. Levi: Engage in a 1v1 sword battle and if they lose they have to stop being toxic or pay the price. Diavolo, being handed a sword: …well heck.
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Mammon: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. Solomon: Why? Mammon, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
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l3viat8an · 10 months
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MC: I taught Cerberus a new trick! Watch!! *throws ball* Fetch!
Cerberus: *Just sits there*
Lucifer: He didn’t do anything.
MC: I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.
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devilfic · 1 month
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I've seen some comic panels touching on this and I just love the idea of bruce being a little stalker and you having to make peace with it.
you leave for work and then come back five minutes later because you forgot where you left your wallet and then you get a text from bruce that says “bathroom counter upstairs” because he just happened to be watching the tower's camera feed at the time.
or having to take a longer way home because a road has been closed off and getting a call from bruce because he noticed you taking turns you don’t usually take to get back to the tower. he stays on the phone with you until you get back home, even though you know he's on patrol right now because you can hear the wind on the other end.
god forbid you head out somewhere late at night without telling him first. he won't ask questions, he'll just follow you from a safe distance until he's ready to make himself known. when you (reasonably) yell at him about it, he apologizes (very insincerely) and asks what you're up to.
bruce has spent years perfecting the craft of stealth and on top of that, he is a worrywart. he's not the type to fawn over your every move right in front of you. he just... pays attention. watches. plans accordingly. if you are a loved one of bruce's, you are never truly out of sight. take that how you will, he's not gonna change
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respawningjupiter · 1 year
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Never running to AI for fic ideas again.
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spilledkaleidoscope · 9 months
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Illustration for the new Chapter of A Cracked Foundation!
Tried to do something a bit more painterly this time. I sure am rusty.
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muffinlance · 7 days
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Read "Suki, Alone". Liked it in general. But can they please, please hire someone who knows both the show's actual events and how to follow through on a character arc? Because guys. Guys. That comic is not implying about Suki what they meant it to be implying, and all because of literally one line.
So like. From a writer's standpoint:
What they meant to do: show Suki as a community-oriented person who cares for her people, and believes in everyone succeeding together.
As opposed to (spoilers): the thief girl they set her up in contrast with, who's pretty upfront and consistent on primarily looking out for herself. She betrays Suki for one (1) corn chip to improve her own life at the prison, no surprise.
But the problem is: they give Suki an inspirational line to the effect of "we're all working together and we'll all break out together"
You know
The thing she does not do in the show
So if both the show and this comic are canon, then instead of setting up a compare/contrast with the thief girl, they've just set up a comparison. One were Suki is arguably worse, because she's been leading a significant number of prisoners on with her "we'll all fight and win our freedom together!" business, only to straight up cut them out of the escape loop and abandon them, whereas the thief is only leading Suki on in the sense that Suki keeps telling her what it's morally correct to think and confuses snide replies with agreement
My dudes. My fellow writers. You people actually being paid for this. There were so many ways to fix those awful implications against our girl's character, the simplest of which would be to not include that line. Or they could have, you know, made it canon compliant with what actually happens in the show, so that this comic doesn't set Suki up as a betrayer instead of a community builder. Like... just send all her good prison buddies off to other prisons in the wake of the warden finding out they're colluding. Have it timed to be right before the next new prisoners arrive, thus setting it immediately before the Boiling Rock episodes, so Suki didn't have anyone left in the prison she'd want to take with her on a breakout. For bonus points, include a page or two of her and her Kyoshi warriors opening up the cell of one of her prison friends post-war, thus implying she's tracking down and actually fulfilling her promises. Maybe even show her doing the same with thief girl, who was established as being imprisoned on false charges anyway, and also showing that Suki is A) the bigger person, and B) willing to acknowledge her own role in mistakes (because I cannot emphasize enough how much thief girl was not hiding her own priorities, and it was Suki who approached HER with all this, not the girl ever doing anything special to weasel her way in) (this would also open up an opportunity for paralleling Suki's earlier in-comic mistake of not listening to one of her friend's very valid thoughts and feeling, which lead to the girl leaving their island alone pre-canon; a "seeing people as they are, not what you want them to be" moment)
Anyway yeah enjoyable enough for a quick read but another one for the "this can't be canon or the characters are So Much Worse than they were in the actual show" pile
At least Aang didn't promise to murder anyone in this one
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twistedappletree · 8 months
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when you’re in Yiling for a date and your best friend wants to make sure it goes well~ 😌✨
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brinkle-brackle · 7 months
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good morning star trek community
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Y/N: Lucifer won’t come out of his room!
Gabriel: Just tell him I said something.
Y/N: Like what?
Gabriel: Anything factually incorrect.
Y/N, shrugging: If you say so.
Lucifer, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?
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severussnapemylove · 2 months
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(Severus and readers child going to Hogwarts)
Severus; “Daddy’s going to drop kick anyone who touches you.”
Y/N; “And Mummy’s going to bail Daddy out of jail.”
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are otters or songbirds more jewish i have an argument to settle
Rating: Songbirds, but there's a makhloket
The majority opinion holds that songbirds are more Jewish than otters, as it is written, “Even the sparrow has found a home and the swallow a nest for herself in which to set her young near Your altar, O LORD of hosts, my Sovereign and my God” (Psalms 84:4). There are many other texts that mention songbirds throughout the Tanakh; there are zero results for “otter” as referring to the animal on Sefaria in our sacred texts.* Thus, the simple answer is that songbirds are more important in Judaism, and therefore more Jewish, than otters. Additionally, medieval Jewish illumination such as the famous Bird's Head Haggadah depicts Jews with human bodies and the heads and beaks of birds, indicating a close connection between Jews and birds:
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However, as is Jewish tradition, we preserve the following minority opinions as well: 
Otters are more Jewish than songbirds: Songbirds were created on the fifth day of creation, while otters, like humans, were created on the sixth day. Therefore, otters are closer to humanity, and Jews are part of humanity, so otters are more Jewish than songbirds. (Genesis 1:20-24) Furthermore, this photo from the Cincinnati Zoo speaks for itself:
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Both otters and songbirds are equally Jewish: Psalms 50:10-11 reads “For Mine is every animal of the forest, the beasts on a thousand mountains I know every bird of the mountains, the creatures of the field are subject to Me.” Clearly, this covers both otters and songbirds, so both are equally Jewish. Furthermore, otters and songbirds both look extremely cute in yarmulkes, which may not be halakhically relevant but feels important to state nonetheless.
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Neither otters nor songbirds are Jewish; however, they are righteous gentiles under the Noahide covenant: To be Jewish means to be bound by the Abrahamic covenant in relationship with the Holy One. As animals are neither descended from Jewish parents nor have the agency to choose to be bound by the covenant made between God and Abraham, as human converts do, neither otters nor songbirds are Jewish**. However, following the great flood, God said to Noah, “I now establish My covenant with you and your offspring to come, and with every living thing that is with you—birds, cattle, and every wild beast as well—all that have come out of the ark, every living thing on earth. (Genesis 9:9-10). This covenant, symbolized by the rainbow, is God’s commitment to every living thing (clearly including both songbirds and otters) that God will never flood the Earth again-- something every one of us can support.
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*(okay, there are three results: one is a typo for “utter” as in “our otter ruin” and the other two are German). 
** My cat, however, is definitely Jewish.
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lemonandlime22 · 4 months
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Randomly generated incorrect quotes pt 41 Obey me! (a couple were changed) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
out grocery shopping Raphael: takes a free sample twice Raphael: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.
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Thirteen: *coughs blood* Mc: Don't die, Thirteen! Thirteen: Don't tell me what to do!
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Solomon, proudly: I slept. Simeon: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
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Satan: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
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Mammon, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay? Little Levi: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!
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Mephisto: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Thirteen: What baby? Mephisto, crying a bit: Me.
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Mc: Tommorrow's garbage day. Solomon: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
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grechkathekasha · 1 month
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on my knees 🏜️
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abhainnwhump · 7 months
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Distant rattling of chains and screams.
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