#(we don’t even have visuals for those two you Motherfuckers just decided (you’re right))

[lo-andbehold]

A callout post (it’s me I’m calling myself out)

#writing #oc #original character #Merlin #the Magnus archives #the penumbra podcast #(we don’t even have visuals for those two you Motherfuckers just decided (you’re right)) #critical role #there are so many others I can’t think of them #marvel #dc comics

[phoenixyfriend]

Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak​.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death,  I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says  “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and  Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia:  I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

#Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Leia Organa #Jango Fett #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Phoenix Babbles #Uncle Ben and Little Luke #Auntie Soka and Little Leia #I need to excise the bits that are actually funny on their own

[corpsentry]

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

#my stuff

[writerpeach]

Roommates: Part Two

IZ*ONE Hyewon & Eunbi x Male Reader

10875 words

Categories: smut, threesome, oral, rough sex, mommy kink, dirty talk

18+

--

Read on AFF

Read on AO3

“We only have one shot at this. Let’s make it count.”

Detective Kwon took point on the operation. Her primary focus was staring at rows of monitors in the back of a large unmarked van parked stealthily miles away from the destination. Overhead shots were displayed on the largest monitor, giving a full view of the target area - a luxurious white mansion housed the patriarch of the Goda clan, given the information Eunbi received was correct. 

You lost track of how many hours you had occupied, only accompanied by Detectives Hyewon, with newly dyed blonde hair and Eunbi inside a hot van, waiting for just the right moment to strike. Your job was to give any details that would be helpful and to help confirm identities. 

The surveillance van had more technology in it than your entire University’s expensive computer lab. Extensive audio feeds, LCD monitors everywhere giving as many angles as possible, speakers, and multiple laptops that could power a space station all created the perfect portable setup. Eunbi sat up front, monitoring everything, and aiding in preparation. 

“Team one, do you copy?” Eunbi asked over a bluetooth headset she wore on her right ear. 

“Yes, boss. We have eyes on the back entrance. Nobody has gone in or out since we’ve been here.”

“Team two, what do you have for me?” 

“Can’t see much. There’s been no movement on our end.” 

“Keep a lookout. I don’t want anyone getting spooked.”

“Yes, boss.” 

“Team three?”

“Our drones are in the air, but the fog is killing visibility. Can’t get a good visual so we’ll have to almost exclusively rely on thermal. ”

“Do what you can.” 

“This better work,” Hyewon said, shifting in one of the backseat chairs nervously. 

“Dojima has been our information expert for years, he wouldn’t fail us now.”

Eunbi took a long deep breath as she pulled up cameras on two large screens, showing views on both front and back entrances and views of each team awaiting orders.

“On my mark, breach and clear. We want him alive,” Eunbi said.

“Go!”

The simultaneous thud of doors being forced open boomed through the van’s speakers, speeding your heart rate up. The audio feed went silent for a second before being replaced with windows being broken, voices shouting, and inaudible commotion. You expected more. No gunshots, no more yelling. Everything was silent. 

“Team one, what’s your status? I need an update.”  

Nothing but radio silence filled the van as you collectively held your breath and waited for an answer. 

“Detective Kwon, there’s nobody inside. Place looks lived in but it’s been cleared out.” 

“Son of a bitch!” Eunbi hissed. 

“All rooms are clear, Detective. There’s nobody here.” “Those motherfuckers set us up. Check for hidden exits. I want this whole place checked.” 

“What do we do now?” Hyewon asked. 

“We’re back from square one. We figure out they knew we were coming, and where we go from here.” 

“Team three, I want you to stay overnight in case they decide to come back. Team one and two you’re dismissed.”

“Understood.”

Eunbi took her headset off and angrily tossed it away, sighing in frustration. 

“Sorry I couldn’t be of any use, Detective,” you said. 

“Don’t be sorry, if anything you got us to this point to begin with,” Eunbi replied. 

“Back to the office?” Hyewon asked. 

“No, that’s the last place I want to be right now. It’s late and we’ve been here all damn day. For nothing.” 

Eunbi rubbed her temple as she sank back in her chair. 

"I've got a cabinet full of alcohol if you wanna crash at my place, boss,” Hyewon said. 

Eunbi hesitated before answering, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. 

“That sounds like exactly what I need. We’ll deal with this on Monday, let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

                                                          ✦✦

Hyewon keyed in the security code to her place and you and Eunbi followed her inside, slipping shoes off at the entryway. You sat down on the couch next to Hyewon while Eunbi took a moment to look over the place. 

“You’ve decorated since the last time I was here,” Eunbi said, wandering and looking aimlessly.

“I have company now, I can’t live like a slob, boss.” 

“You really don’t have to call me boss outside of work. Unnie will be fine.” 

“Okay, unnie.”

“How has everything been going?” Eunbi asked, directing her attention towards you. “I know we said it would be just for a month, but with everything going on I’m afraid it’s going to be longer. I seem to be really bad at keeping my promises.”

“It was awkward at first, but Hyewon is very easy to talk to and get along with. I won’t mind living longer here, Hyewon has been very accommodating, I’ve even picked up a few cooking tips from her.” 

 Eunbi smiled. “That’s good to hear. Hyewon loves to cook as much as she loves to eat.”

“She’s really good at eating,” you said.

“Yes, she really is,” Eunbi said with a smirk as she sat down. Hyewon caught on quickly and got up embarrassed, heading into the kitchen to fetch drinks. 

“Unnie, what are you in the mood to drink? Beer, wine?” 

“Something strong,” Eunbi replied. 

“How strong?” Hyewon asked. 

“Strong enough to slap me across the face.” 

“Uh, we have Tequila. Is that strong enough?” 

“Yes, that’s perfect.” 

“Ok, but I’m making cocktails, I don’t want anyone to get carried away.” 

“Make mine a double then.” 

Eunbi drifted her gaze over to you as she sat down and crossed her legs, flashing a flirtatious gaze.

“Have you settled into living with Hyewon?”

“Mostly. There haven't been any troubles at all, she’s very easy to live with.” 

“That’s very good to hear, she’s such a sweetie.” 

“She is.”

“Unnie, stop being nosy!” Hyewon whined as she brought a tray of drinks and set it down on the black coffee table in front. 

“I was just trying to see how you’ve been treating our guest.”

“I have been nothing but an understanding host, isn’t that right?” 

“Of course. Hyewon has been wonderful.” 

Grabbing a drink and taking your first sip, you coughed at how strong it was, but soon the burn down your throat became refreshing. 

“I hope we can find whoever tipped us off,” Hyewon said. 

Eunbi rolled her eyes. “Please, can we not talk about work for once?” 

Hyewon nodded apologetically. “Sorry, unnie. Of course.” 

“This is really good,” you said, taking another large sip. 

“It is. Our Hyewon really is multi-talented.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal. I learned a few things in culinary school.” 

You could feel the collective stress leaving the room as the three of you indulged into the strong drinks Hyewon had prepared. Shaking the glass a few times to evenly spread out the ice you took another drink, getting used to the taste. 

“Now that I’m drinking, I guess I should be responsible tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch if that’s okay,” Eunbi said. 

“The couch?” Hyewon repeated. “There’s a spare bed, you don’t need to do that, unnie.” 

Eunbi tilted her head. “Spare bed? If I remember correctly your place only has two rooms, right?” 

“That’s right. Two bedrooms, but we’ve been sharing the bed at night,” she said, as she realized what she was admitting halfway.

“Oh, you have been?” Eunbi laughed. “That explains why you’ve been coming in late more often,” she teased. 

Hyewon turned red. “U-unnie! That’s not what I...I’m gonna go make another drink.” 

She hastily got off the couch as Eunbi filled in the gap, scooting over as she finished her drink, placing it on the coffee table.

“She’s always been like that.” 

“Like what?” you asked. 

“Shy and adorable, ever since I met her. We’re all adults here, so there’s no shame in talking about it.” 

 “Everyone has their limits about what they’re comfortable about I guess.”

“That’s true. I’m just an open book.”

Hyewon returned and refused to make eye contact.

“Ah, Hyewon, I forgot to bring anything to sleep in tonight. Can I borrow some clothes?” 

“Clothes? Don’t you usually sleep naked, unnie?” she responded. You nearly choked on your drink.

Eunbi smiled before she responded. “You’re right...but I’m just a guest here. I have to look presentable.” 

“Why? He’s already seen you naked before hasn’t he?” Hyewon teased back.

“Guess you got me there,” Eunbi replied with reddened cheeks. 

You sat there listening as the two beautiful detectives playfully teased each other back and forth while you nursed your cocktail, trying not to let it hit you all at once. It was tempting to go for another drink given the day's events, wanting to forget the failed operation. Finishing your drink and chewing on a piece of melting ice you rested it on the coffee table. 

The living room clock showed it was just after 1 a.m. Still rather early or late in the morning depending on your perspective.  

"So, Hyewon,” Eunbi said.

“Yes, unnie?” Hyewon perked up. 

“I don’t think we’ve properly thanked our mutual friend for everything he’s done for us.” 

Hyewon put her drink down. “We do owe him a lot. Even though nothing went as planned today, we never would have gotten to that point to begin with.”

The two women shared a look that was directed at you. “Keeping me safe is enough thanks, ladies.” 

“Oh no, that’s just part of our jobs,” Eunbi said. “I think we personally need to show our appreciation.”

Eunbi began caressing your shoulder, and you were thankful that you had been drinking already. 

“You’ve been so helpful, and we should return the favor.” 

“That’s not really necessary,” you humbly said. 

“Oh, but it really is,” Eunbi said, scooting closer to your body, gesturing for Hyewon to do the same, who changed places to your left side. Syncing their movements each woman moved and straddled one of your thighs as your heart started racing. 

Eunbi made the first move, cupping your face and hesitated for a moment. Her gaze lingered on you as she leaned in and your lips merged, filling you with the sweet taste of her as the warmth of her soft lips pressed against your own.

“If you insist, Detective.” 

“Detective? That’s much too formal,” Eunbi said as she caressed your hair.

“Eunbi is fine,” she paused. “But what I really like to be called... is Mommy.” 

“Oh god, not this again,” Hyewon spoke out in annoyance. “Not everyone wants to call you that.”

“Maybe not everyone...but you’ll call me mommy won’t you?” She asked as she turned her attention towards you. 

“I’ll call you anything you want. Mommy.”

Eunbi gave one more kiss against your lips, deeper and with more hunger. Not wanting to be left out, Hyewon tilted your head towards hers and gave you a chaste kiss of her own, the contrast in their lips enticing. Eunbi had thinner lips, Hyewon’s lips were plumper and fuller, while both had an incredible softness and warmth with their own distinctive unique taste. 

The two of them looked at you as if deciding what they wanted to do, pondering their moves. Eunbi didn’t need much time as she removed her shirt, and the purple lace bra that covered up her huge full breasts became the focus of your attention. 

“You can touch mommy all you want,” Eunbi said and you didn’t need to be told twice, running your hands up her body, feeling the tightness of her toned tummy as your hands wandered on their own to her chest, fondling her massive breasts through her bra. 

Not wanting to be outdone, Hyewon removed her own top, her much smaller, but no less satisfying breasts were visible. With a quick movement of her fingers, her bra was unclasped, and bare breasts exposed as she cupped them, enticing you to dive in. 

Starting at Hyewon’s sensitive neck you peppered her soft skin in kisses, hearing her softly moan as you moved down her chest, leaving a trail just below her collarbone. Looking into her eyes for a second you squeezed her breasts before bringing your lips to her nipples and sucking, hearing her sweet moans as you sucked on her soft pale tits. 

Eunbi couldn’t handle being left out, and out of the corner of your eye you could see her slipping out of her bra, her pale tits exposed stopped you in your path. 

“You like mommy’s tits better don’t you?” Eunbi playfully asked, giving out a moan as she pinched her own nipples. You sucked Hyewon’s tits for a few more seconds before hastily switching your interest to Eunbi’s chest. 

“Unnie, you’re playing dirty,” Hyewon complained.

“I can’t help what I was born with,” she smirked, proud at how much bigger her breasts were. You planted several kisses on each of her pillowy soft tits and Eunbi ran her fingers through your hair, smiling sweetly. Licking stripes up her cleavage you flicked your tongue against each nipple, teasing each just a bit before sucking on them, letting out a noisy slurp. 

“Mmm, baby, that feels good.” 

Hyewon looked on patiently, trying to stave off her jealousy. You couldn’t help but moan as you sucked Eunbi’s tits, playing with her sensitive pink nipples and burying yourself into her deep cleavage, a warmth you didn’t dare leave. 

“Mommy’s tits are so amazing,” you said, slurping on her hardened nipples and watching her pleasure as you did so, biting them gently as Eunbi gasped in pleasure. Alternating sucking on each of Eunbi’s delicious breasts you kept them in your mouth until her pink nipples became swollen and glazed with your wet saliva, keeping yourself fed with the taste and softness of her flesh and the way her pretty pink nipples fit perfectly in your mouth. 

Nothing would keep you from sucking on them, not wanting your mouth to leave them but also not wanting to leave Hyewon out. 

You feasted on each pair of scrumptious tits and gave them equal attention, moving back and forth between the delicious chests of each busty woman and didn't want to stop until your lips were numb. 

“I still can’t get over how big they are,” Hyewon said, the envy in her voice obvious.

“Yours aren’t that bad either, Hyewon,” Eunbi responded. 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, unnie.” 

“I’m not, you agree right, baby?” 

“Your tits are really nice too, Hyewon.” 

“Nobody can compare to yours though, I can't even fully get my hands on them,” Hyewon pouted. 

“It just means there’s more of them to go around,” Eunbi grinned, as if sending an invitation. Both of you teamed up on Eunbi’s tits, each taking one of her swollen breasts in your mouth and sucking, causing deep moans to escape from her. Hyewon was gentle while you devoured Eunbi’s tits, hungrily slurping and biting as if you were trying to satisfy your insatiable hunger for her big milky breasts. 

Keeping your tongues and lips all over Eunbi's swollen pink nipples they became drenched in the combination of your saliva, her pretty moans were music to your ears, earning more with each second that passed. 

As much as you loved teaming up to taste Eunbi, you soon became their focus, feeling the wet smack of their warm soft lips as each gorgeous woman took their time to kiss you, leaving their taste locked on your lips. 

If that wasn’t enough, they turned and playfully kissed each other, leaving you to patiently watch every movement as their lips smacked loudly and both grabbed a handful of each other's supple bare breasts. 

The two lustful vixens switched it up and turned the tables on you. Both took a side of your neck and planted their lips on your skin, sucking both sides of your neck deeply with the intention to leave love marks. 

The two warm mouths pressed on your neck sucking heavily entranced you into a daze, and you barely felt a hand cupping your crotch, too crippled by their effect on you to see the culprit. 

“Mommy can you feel your cock getting hard for us," Eunbi whispered, blowing hot air into your ear that made you shiver. 

“We both want to make you feel good,” Hyewon said. 

Giving your crotch a good firm squeeze, your lap was soon empty and the action kept on moving right in front of you. Running their hands all over each other's tight bodies, Eunbi made quick work of stripping Hyewon to her panties, and Hyewon returned the favor as they both knelt in front of you, eyeing the bulge in your pants they had created. 

With Hyewon to your left and Eunbi to your right, they gave each other a playful look before working together to unbutton your pants, working quickly and yanking them off with your boxers, your hardened shaft introducing itself and throbbing freely. 

Eunbi jumped the gun and took the liberty to play with Hyewon’s chest, earning a moan from her as she sucked on her round pale tits, taking her first taste of the night and sending even more blood flowing to your already stiff erection. 

"Have some confidence, Hyewon, your tits are yummy."

“Unnie…”

“Now go on, Hyewon, show us what you’ve learned.” 

Hyewon nervously smiled and leaned forward, taking your cock into her cold delicate hand and wrapping her fingers around it. She licked it more naturally this time, starting at the base of your shaft and dragging her wet tongue upwards until she reached your swollen tip, swirling around it mindlessly and giving a wet kiss on it. 

Eunbi followed her lead, her tongue on one side while Hyewon mirrored the other, both women painting your hard shaft with their wet flattened tongues, before ascending on your tip and licking up against it, causing you to groan.

The two beautiful women on their knees for you wandered their tongues all over your shaft, not missing a spot before syncing back up and licking your swollen head, both hitting all the right spots, their touch driving you crazy. 

"F-fuck," you moaned to their delight, going crazy at the intense pleasure already. You felt a hand fondling your balls and jerked abruptly, earning a pretty smile from Eunbi. 

"They feel so heavy and full," Eunbi said as she kissed each one, grazing her cute nose against them. 

Hyewon looked for approval, meeting the gaze of Eunbi. Without another word Hyewon licked her lips and parted them with your sensitive tip, taking you into her radiating warm mouth. 

You moaned loudly at the softness of Hyewon’s plump lips as she sucked your tip gently, eyes looking up. Eunbi watched as Hyewon sucked you off, the pleasure of her wet mouth enveloping your shaft. 

“You’re getting good at this," Eunbi said as she smiled. She brought her mouth to your balls, blowing her hot breath against your sack before delicately kissing and licking them. 

"I love how sensitive you get," Eunbi said, licking turning into sucking as her soft lips tenderly slurped your balls one at a time, the double pleasure from each woman overwhelming your senses. 

Hyewon's lips slid deeper, her tongue licking your underside as Eunbi's lips sucked your balls more forcibly, covering them in saliva as she rested a hand on your thigh, stimulating you more by digging her nails into your skin. 

It was as if they were competing to give the most pleasure, not wanting to back down. Eunbi took your cock into her needy familiar mouth, sucking with such force you felt like you might pass out. Hyewon did not keep her mouth empty as she mirrored Eunbi’s earlier movements, gently sucking on your balls, both women eagerly to milk you dry it seemed. 

“Fuck...you’re both amazing at this,” you groaned, and you were met with faster movements.

The difference in experience and techniques was immediately apparent. Hyewon's lack of expertise allowed her to take things slowly, but she couldn't take more than half your cock down her throat, instead focusing on sucking you off more sensually. 

Eunbi was the opposite, proudly able and willing to take all of your cock down her warm throat, deepthroating with ease and sucked rapidly and messily. Both were pleasurable, and feeling the contrast of both as they switch back and forth, practically fighting over your cock drove you insane. 

“Don’t be selfish, unnie, " Hyewon whined as Eunbi devoured your cock down her throat, sliding her lips in long smooth strokes from base to tip, showing off her lack of gag reflex. She was so messy that saliva spilled out of the corners of her mouth and dripped down to her huge tits, the sight arousing you even more.

You held the back of Eunbi's head and pushed her down your base, moaning needily as her throat tightened, slurping on every inch of your shaft while Hyewon kept her mouth full of your heavy balls, trying to learn how best to pleasure them. 

"Mommy loves this cock," Eunbi hummed, and in response Hyewon forcibly stole it from her, the elder shooting a deadly look. 

"Do you really think you can make him cum with this lousy blowjob?" Eunbi hissed, as she went back to work on your balls, lathering them up with her warm saliva and slurping loudly. 

Hyewon sucked faster as a response, moving past her usual threshold and gagging as a result. Eunbi eyed her, watching her take more and more until her lips almost met your base, but retreating at the last moment as she coughed. 

"It's okay, Hyewon, not everyone can be as good as me."

Hyewon cursed under her breath, only motivated by her unnie’s pitiful attempts to incite and dove back in. She didn't care how much she gagged, Eunbi wasn't going to show her up. Starting halfway, Hyewon took as much as she could before retreating, reaching a new point each time. 

"You must like choking on that dick, huh? You sound really pretty when you gag on it, I think you could use some help though," Eunbi said as she grabbed the younger girl by the head and forced her down your base, increasing her gagging sounds and your pleasure. 

Hyewon’s eyes went wide as Eunbi fucked her throat with your cock, not used to her mouth so completely stuffed that she couldn't help feel overwhelmed. 

"Breathe through your nose, baby," Eunbi cooed as she roughly shoved her down all the way at the end of your cock, causing you to gasp and groan loudly. 

"There we go, that's how you do it. Mommy is a good teacher isn’t she?” 

Eunbi smirked as she continued her relentless use of Hyewon’s mouth, not letting up for a single moment, testing her gag reflexes and making her take you as deep as possible until she signaled that she had enough. 

"Unnie!" Hyewon yelled as she gasped for air, wiping drool off her chin and using it to jerk off your cock. 

"This is what you wanted right? To prove you were better?" 

Hyewon ignored her and focused on your cock, licking it wildly.

"Prove it then. Finish him off," Eunbi encouraged. 

Hyewon didn't back down even though she couldn't stop herself from gagging, she was determined. Her soft plump lips kissed the end of your base as your cock hit the back of her throat, but she didn’t give up.

"Fuck…Hyewon…"

Hyewon bobbed her head as she worked her magic in between your legs, slurping and sucking the life out of your cock. Eunbi was more than content to take a backseat, gently massaging your balls as she watched on. 

"There you go, baby, doing such a good job. Empty those heavy balls and suck him dry," Eunbi demanded. 

Hyewon looked straight ahead with a mouth full of cock, her innocent sparkling eyes glued to your own as she was prepared to drain you. Her wet full lips were sealed tight around your shaft, the sounds of her slurping every inch to try and earn your approval was far too much. 

"Ah, fuck, Hyewon. I'm gonna fucking cum."

The duo smiled as you felt your limits being hit, your breathing weakening, and your balls tightening. 

It wasn’t much longer as you felt your climax arriving, tightly grabbing the back of Hyewon’s head as you throbbed inside her mouth and erupted, flooding her throat with copious amounts of your hot cum. 

Your orgasm took over your body as you continued pumping your thick load into the back of Hyewon’s throat, grunting with every spurt that released from your shaft. 

Hyewon handled it well at first, but the more you came the more difficult it became for her as your load began spilling out of her mouth, too much for her to contain. 

"Amateur," Eunbi said. "You shouldn't waste a single drop of his delicious cum.”

Your intense orgasm mercifully came to a halt and Hyewon's lips squeezed tight around your still throbbing shaft, ensuring everything had been milked out of you. 

"There was so much, holy shit," Hyewon said while trying to talk with a mouth full of cum as she removed her lips from your cock, sliding her fingers around your shaft to make sure nothing was left. 

"Show it, baby. Show us how much you made him cum."

Hyewon complied as she opened her mouth for all to see, revealing a thick white pool that had been deposited on her tongue. 

"Swallow it," Eunbi demanded. It took more than one gulp, but Hyewon tilted her head back in satisfaction and opened her now empty mouth, displaying her wet pink tongue to confirm your load was now inside her stomach.

"Good girl," Eunbi purred as she began cleaning up drops of cum that spilled out of Hyewon’s mouth. 

"Mommy has to do this because you couldn't handle such a huge load," she sighed, licking your shaft clean of every spilled drop, taking your tip into her warm mouth and sucking it clean, your sensitivity arousing her. 

“How was it?” Eunbi asked as she made sure to not miss anything, jerking your cock off slowly as your body trembled with the aftershocks of your climax. 

Taking a moment to catch her breath, she licked her lips before answering. “Yummy.”

Letting go of your cock Eunbi licked her lips and fingers clean, sucking on them lewdly with each one making a loud pop. 

"Hyewon and I are going to have some fun in the bedroom. Come join us when you're ready."

                                                            ✦✦

It took a while to finish gathering your senses, catching your breath as you clutched a pillow to your chest. You rested on the couch for several minutes, waiting for your breathing to stabilize. 

Aiding your recovery you downed a glass of ice water in one go, taking another deep breath and as you let it out you heard a sound in the distance that broke the silence. A loud, feminine moan, that you couldn’t quite figure out who the owner was. 

The closer you got to the bedroom the louder the moaning got. Opening the door to your room and the bed you shared with Hyewon left you with an empty dark room as you closed the door and headed down the hallway, down into Hyewon’s actual bedroom. 

“Oh fuck!” you heard crying out behind the shut door, feeling your heart beating faster as the voice became unmistakable as belonging to Hyewon. 

Taking a breath you gently grabbed the handle and turned it as you were greeted with an unforgettable sight. 

With just one lamp illuminating the room on the left side of the bed, you walked in to find a set of panties left in the middle of the floor and found Hyewon’s naked body sprawled out and holding on to the headboard for dear life. 

Neither of the two women noticed your arrival. Eunbi was too preoccupied with having her head buried in between Hyewon’s naked thighs, rubbing at her core and devouring the writhing blonde. 

“Nice of you to join us finally,“ Eunbi said as she held onto Hyewon’s flushed thighs, eating her pussy out like she had skipped an entire week's worth of meals. The sight of Eunbi making Hyewon an absolute mess brought your erection back to full hardness right away. 

“Since this bed doesn’t get used anymore I figured it was a good place to start since you two haven’t defiled it yet.”

“Hey!” Hyewon protested, but any further complaints were drowned out by her whimpering moans. 

“It’s a shame I left my handcuffs back at work,” Eunbi said. “You’d really be squirming right now.”

Eunbi continued her assault on the younger woman’s body, her tongue deep inside Hyewon’s pussy and lapping up all her juices liberally leaking from her spread thighs. 

“Are you just going to stare at my ass all day?” Eunbi asked annoyed. 

“Is that an option?” You fired back playfully.

“No. Don’t make me be the only one doing the work here.” 

“But you’re doing such a good job, I’d hate to distract you.” 

“Enough. Mommy wants that cock.” 

It had been far too long since you had fucked Eunbi, and you weren’t going to keep her waiting as you climbed the bed, staring at the view before doing anything else. Kneeling behind her tight round ass you quickly tugged her thong off her full curvy hips, down her toned legs, and tossed it away.  

You felt hypnotized by the pink glistening flesh in between her thighs, giving Eunbi’s ass a firm squeeze, her velvety cheeks felt so good against your palms as you lined your cock against Eunbi’s opening, feeling the heat radiating as an invitation.

“U-unnie, that feels so good,” Hyewon moaned, gripping the headboard even tighter. You prepared yourself to enter the oldest of the two busty women, spreading her thick thighs and looking down at her wet pussy that looked so damn inviting. 

Running your cock up and down Eunbi’s pink wet slit, you took a deep breath before pushing in slowly and parting her wet flesh with your cock, being met by her intense warmth as you entered Eunbi once more, the feeling of her pussy even better this time. 

You groaned needily as your tip disappeared inside Eunbi’s warm walls, and then pushed deeper inside her until you were halfway inside. She looked back, her eyes telling you to get on with it already. In one stroke you used your hips and gave Eunbi what she wanted, your whole shaft was inside her warmth, the slick of her walls gripping tight around your shaft and refusing to let go.

You watched Eunbi make an absolute mess out of Hyewon as you held to her perfect wide hips, slowly began pumping inside her, feeling her pussy swallowing your cock and lighting your senses on fire as you began to fuck her from behind. 

Having experienced Eunbi in this position already you knew she liked it rough, giving her plump ass a loud slap as you thrusted deep, using your hips to establish a fast and steady rhythm. 

“You’re so fucking tight, mommy,” you said, giving her ass repeated spanks as you began pounding into her pussy, the wet flesh wrapped around your cock squeezing even tighter with every thrust. 

Eunbi wasn’t able to moan freely as she slurped and feasted on Hyewon’s delicious pussy, but you could tell from the way her body reacted to you that she was in love with what you were doing to her. 

It was hard to comprehend what was happening. Pounding into Eunbi as she ate out another woman was heavenly, and it helped that the same woman was one you had slept with already and had become very close in every sense of the word. Hyewon was certainly dripping between her thighs, but the juices coming out of Eunbi’s tight hole certainly matched the youngest, allowing you to thrust as deep as you needed into the older detective with ease.  

It didn’t take long until a trio of moans filled the room, the wet squelch of Eunbi’s hot flesh being driven into harshly caused her body to slam against Hyewon’s sensitive clit, turning her into an even louder, needier mess. 

Eunbi felt even tighter than when you had fucked her in the interrogation room, her pussy so hot and tight and wet around you just wanted to ravage her until neither of you could walk in the morning. 

"Baby, your cock feels amazing inside me. You like mommy’s tight pussy?" Eunbi asked. 

“Y-yes, mommy. You’re so wet. “ you moaned and in response and upped your pace even faster, her pussy gripping your shaft so tightly it almost hurt. 

The smack of your hips against Eunbi’s voluptuous ass was the sound you loved to hear, causing her soft flesh to ripple beautifully in time with each thrust, drilling into her with such aggression that caused the bed to shake in protest, earning higher muffled moans from her and giving one more slap on her beautiful ass.

“Mommy loves being spanked, don’t stop baby.”

“Unnie, you’re such a slut,” Hyewon teased, as you gave harsh hits to Eunbi’s soft bottom, trying to leave your handprints on both cheeks. 

“Me? Because I know what I like? If I remember you were the one who jerked a guy off you met at work for not even five minutes.” 

“Hey! I was curious and he was cute. It’s not my fault.” 

“Not so innocent are you, slut?” Eunbi fired back, slurping on her folds and bringing two and then three fingers deep inside her cunt, eating her out without a care in the world other than shutting her up.  

“Oh fuck unnie! I-I’m so close,” Hyewon whimpered, holding on to Eunbi’s head, desperately chasing her orgasm as she rocked her hips against her face, only encouraging Eunbi to furiously rub and slurp on her clit.

“Oh god..u-unnie, I’m cumming!”

With Hyewon practically screaming Eunbi’s name, you continued drilling Eunbi’s tight pussy, sending waves of pleasure through her all the way to Hyewon’s body as her thighs quivered around Eunbi’s face, as her toes curled and she came hard all over Eunbi’s pretty face. 

Eunbi licked up everything that leaked between her legs, cleaning her folds and licking every inch of her stained thighs before Hyewon gently pushed her away off her.

“U-unnie, you’re so good at that,” Hyewon breathlessly said.

“I’m good at everything I do, baby,” she confidently smirked. 

“Now rest up, Hyewonie,” she said as she looked behind her. ”As good as you feel inside me, mommy wants to ride your face.”

You didn’t want to retreat from the comforting warmth of Eunbi’s pussy, but given the alternative was having your face warmed with her powerful thighs it was quite worth the sacrifice. 

Before using your face as a pillow Eunbi lifted herself into position, giving you a chance to admire every curve and inch of her immaculate beautiful skin as she sat down and locked her warm thighs around your head.

“You’ll make mommy feel good won’t you?” 

“Of course. Anything for mommy.”

“Good boy,” Eunbi replied as she pushed her weight down and smothered you with her succulent pussy, her aroma intoxicating you as breathed hot air against her core and explored her folds with your tongue, licking her juices clean. 

“Mommy tastes so good,” you moaned as Eunbi gyrated her hips and you felt her delicious juices smearing all over your lips, not missing a drop of her nectar. 

While you fucked Eunbi’s tight hole with your tongue, she grabbed onto your head, pulling at your hair to shove you deeper inside her pretty cunt, leaving you sucking and licking her pussy, licking, slurping on her folds to give her the pleasure she deserved. 

“That mouth feels so fucking good, baby,” Eunbi said as you looked up at the pleasure you were giving her, feeling her thighs squeezing tighter as she rode your face faster as you explored and stimulated every inch of her pussy.

Meanwhile, Hyewon stirred back to life, and while you alternated between trying to breathe and pleasuring Eunbi, you felt a cold delicate hand squeezing your cock, wrapping tightly around your shaft as she began stroking you slowly. 

“I can’t believe you’re still so hard after cumming in my mouth,” Hyewon said, jerking off you at a slow rate. 

“We just must turn him on that much,” Eunbi replied, her playful words quickly turned into lustful moans as you drove your tongue deeper into her cunt as her slick continuously leaked into your mouth.

You wondered her sculpted body with your hands while you continued to be smothered by her beautiful thighs. You grabbed onto her wonderful breasts, taking a handful and squeezing, pinching her hard sensitive nipples as she closed her eyes and her breathing hitched. 

You could sense the tension in her body as you made out with her pussy, sucking her clit harshly. Juice leaked everywhere, drenching your tongue and lips as she tugged on your hair harder, trying to force you deeper inside her wet hole. 

“F-fuck, baby, mommy’s g-gonna-”

Looking up at Eunbi you slurped her pussy loudly, still playing with her tits as you felt her thighs squeezing around your head as they vibrated violently and she came all over your face, gasping and moaning breathlessly as you were drenched in her delicious sweet nectar. 

You helped her ride out her orgasm as the grip her thighs had on your head weakened, still trembling and shaking as she looked down between her and giggled at the mess she left deposited all over your face. 

"You're so good with that tongue, baby. You made mommy cum so hard."

Eunbi gently climbed off your face and immediately crashed on top of Hyewon, their breasts mashing together as the older initiated a make-out session as you were able to breathe again. 

“Now, do you think you can handle that dick?” Eunbi asked. 

Hyewon pouted cutely. “Unnie, he’s fucked me before.” 

“But you were in control the whole time, and I’m sure he was gentle. Do you think you can take his cock when he’s pounding your tight little pussy with it?” 

Hyewon scoffed. “I’ll be fine, unnie.” 

“We’ll see. How do you want her, baby?” 

You didn’t hesitate for a second before you answered, knowing just how you wanted her. 

“Bent over. I want you to watch me fuck her, mommy.” 

“I’d be happy to, baby,” Eunbi responded, giving Hyewon one more lustful kiss. 

“You heard him, Hyewon. Hands and knees,” Eunbi ordered. 

Hyewon obeyed without delay like the innocent pup she who always obediently listened to Eunbi at work, this was no different. Her palms and knees placed flat on the black silk sheets, Hyewon laid her head down, lifting her scrumptious ass in the air. 

She wasn’t as curvy as Eunbi, her thighs were a bit slimmer but her skin was just as soft, and her body wasn’t lacking in any way. Hyewon’a pussy was tighter, something Eunbi would kill you for saying had you the courage to admit it. 

You could taste Hyewon’s anticipation as you lined your shaft up with her pussy, her pink pussy ready and waiting to be filled. As you ran your cock through Hyewon’s soft wet folds, you gasped at the feeling of her wet flesh as you pushed against it, groaning at how tight she was as you entered her pussy. 

Pushing in deeper and earning a loud needy moan, you felt the tight clench of her walls squeezing the life out of your cock. Hyewon’s much tighter pussy and lack of experience being penetrated meant you really had to take your time so you didn’t hurt her, but you had a feeling she was going to enjoy the fucking she was about to take. 

“She’s fucking tight isn’t she?” Eunbi asked, positioning herself behind your body as she draped an arm around your chest. 

“She is. I feel like I can barely fit.”

"The first time I fingered her I could barely slip one finger inside. Make sure you stretch out her nice and wide.”

“I will, mommy.” 

Not wanting to disappoint either woman you pushed in deeper, parting Hyewon’s pussy wider as half of your length rested inside. When she was on top it was easy for her to take as much as she wanted to, but being bent over in this vulnerable position you felt there was much more resistance, her almost uncomfortable tightness struggling to take you all in. 

“F-fuck, you’re so big,” Hyewon cried out, as she tried adjusting to your length, Eunbi smirking proudly at the struggle she was facing already.

“He is right? Are you sure you can handle him? He’s going to be able to fuck you much deeper in this position.”

“Unnie, shut up. I can handle it,” Hyewon snapped back. 

“Well, you heard her. Fuck her, baby.” 

Not even letting your cock enter the deepest part of her pussy, you placed your hands on her soft supple asscheeks and you established a gentle rhythm, using your hips as you slowly fucked Hyewon from behind, her wet walls squeezing you with the tightest grip possible. 

“Oh fuck…” she moaned loudly. 

“Take it nice and slow,” Eunbi whispered into your ear. “And when you think she’s ready, fucking pound her.” 

“Yes, mommy.” 

Encouraged by her instructions, you took things at a slow pace, savoring her wet flesh wrapping around your shaft, Hyewon whimpered and whined and moaned needily as you pumped slowly inside her. 

“How’s that pussy feel, baby?” Eunbi asked as she began peppering your neck with delicate soft kisses. 

“It feels really good, mommy.” 

Even halfway inside Hyewon felt so tight and warm, her heavenly soft flesh squeezing your cock as you gave short, shallow thrusts, building up the pace. 

“You feel so good inside,” Hyewon moaned, as you moved your hands to her hips, watching your cock disappearing between her supple ass. With every thrust it became easier to move in and out of Hyewon, stretching her tight little hole little by little, making her wetter at the same time. 

Words couldn’t describe how tight Hyewon felt, even after a few minutes of moving in and out her she still was a tight fit, her exceptionally tight pussy suffocating your shaft. You used your fingers to rub at her clit, creating whinier moans to escape her lips as you created more wetness around your shaft, aiding your penetration. 

Soon after you were able to stretch her out enough to be able to take more of you, and you let out a satisfied grunt as you fully entered her, bottoming her out with your cock as you withdrew, leaving half of you impaled inside her tight warm cave. 

“H-harder,” Hyewon softly whimpered, her words barely audible. 

“What was that?” Eunbi asked. 

“I-I want to be fucked harder,” Hyewon said.

“Speak up, baby, we can’t hear you.” 

Hyewon took a deep breath. “Harder. Fuck me. Harder,” she said, every word this time crystal clear. 

“You heard her, baby. Go wild.” 

You hadn’t heard a better set of words all day. Growing frustrated with the slow tedious pace, you were happy to be able to fuck Hyewon at your whim, quickly settling into a much more natural pace that you were used to. 

Hearing the pleasurable sounds of flesh against flesh as your hips smacked against Hyewon’s ass, you took advantage of being able to freely fuck her, squeezing her hips as you slammed into her tight hole. 

Hyewon scrambled to grab handfuls of the sheets as you opened her up, her moans increased alongside your speed. 

“She said she can take it, baby, so make her take it. Every inch.” 

You grabbed onto Hyewon’s arms and pulled them behind her, holding her delicate wrists as you fucked her hard from behind, her body being pulled upright just a bit as you went wild and hammered into her cunt. 

You made sure to be deep as possible in this position, as Hyewon’s ass jiggled with every thrust as did her breasts, her cheeks clapping together rhythmically as her whines and whimpering moans grew louder and deeper as did the harsh smacking of flash together. 

Eunbi swung your head around so she could plant deep kisses on your lips, taking some of the focus away as you pounded away into Hyewon’s pussy, pistoning your hips without a care as sweat began dripping down your forehead. 

“Keep pounding her, baby. Don’t stop fucking our little slut until she can’t walk straight tomorrow.”

You felt Hyewon tighten at Eunbi’s use of the word slut and wanted to test it out yourself. 

“Do you like when I fuck you this deep, baby?” you asked. 

After moments of groans and gasping Hyewon responded. “Y-yes, your cock feels so big inside me. I feel so filled.”

“You like being fucked like a slut?”

Hyewon tightened again. “I-i’m not a slut! Not like, Unnie-” she protested. 

“You’re not? If I remember correctly you sucked my cock the first week I moved in here.” 

“It was because you were always hard in the morning! I felt bad for you.” 

Eunbi laughed. “Felt bad, or felt horny?” she said. 

“U-unnie! I’m not a slut!” 

“That’s not what your body says right now. I can feel how fucking wet you are, Hyewon. Your tight little pussy loves my cock.” 

“I-i just wanted to help out. To return the favor, that’s all-” 

“Then you won’t mind if I stop fucking you and fuck Eunbi instead?” 

“N-no! Please! I’m already close, please don’t stop!” 

You dropped her arms and they collapsed against the mattress. “Admit it then.” 

“I-i can’t, I’m not-”

You slowed down your pace considerably, Hyewon whimpered even more. 

“P-please, baby! I’m almost there.”

“Then maybe you should admit it. We both know you’re not as innocent as you pretend you are,” Eunbi said.

Hyewon pondered for a moment as you barely moved inside her. “Fine. I-I’m a slut. I loved sucking your cock in the morning, and I loved when you came inside me.” 

“Was that so hard?” Eunbi asked. “Do you want him to cum inside you again?” 

“Y-yes!” 

“Then tell him, baby.” 

“P-please cum inside me! I want you to pound me and fill my tight little pussy!” Hyewon begged. 

You smirked and resumed your harsh pace, running your hands up her tight sweaty body and cupping her breasts, squeezing them and feeling her hard nipples brushing against your palms as you drilled yourself into her. 

“I’m gonna cum!” Hyewon abruptly said as you felt her walls squeezing you the tightest they ever had. 

“Then fucking cum,” you growled impatiently in response. 

You took a bit of pride in seeing Hyewon like this, her innocent demeanor completely broken down and replaced with lustful desire and need. 

With your hands full of her wonderful warm breasts, you felt her pussy pulsating around you and Hyewon screamed as she came all over your cock, her voice hitting an octave you didn’t even think it could go as her juices saturated her thighs, your shaft, and the bedsheets underneath. So much for not defiling the bed, you thought to yourself with a snicker. 

Her body weakly shook as the aftershocks fired off like bullets, each wave of pleasure threatening to make her whole body collapse. 

“Your turn, baby. You better fill her up,” Eunbi demanded. 

You were already on the brink, and with Eunbi’s words along with the look of desperation Hyewon shot at you, there wasn’t much you could do to hold out. Teetering on the verge of exhaustion, you gave everything you had as you hooked both of Hyewon’s arms and brought her upright, feeling her sweaty back pressed up against your chest as you pounded her pussy. 

“Take it all, baby. Take all my cock you fucking slut,” you hissed, the words seemingly appearing out of nowhere as you buried yourself deep inside Hyewon’s dripping cunt. Without anything to grab on to, Hyewon was at your mercy, fucking her with the last remaining shred of energy you had, your carnal desires fueling your urge to absolutely ruin her. 

Without another word you came inside Hyewon, feeling a sense of relief as you sent your thick hot cum inside her, throbbing and groaning with every single spurt until she was pumped full of your plentiful load. 

“You did so well,” you whispered to Hyewon weakly, as you released her and she collapsed to the bed in front and you followed as you pulled out, your sticky cum staining her thighs as you equally gasped for air. 

"Look how much you came, baby," Eunbi said as her view was on the semen dripping out of Hyewon as you crashed on the side of the bed next to her, struggling to breathe with any kind of regularity. 

"Don't move a muscle, Hyewon," Eunbi ordered, as she bent down between her thighs, and began licking her clean. 

"U-unnie," Hyewon softly whimpered as Eunbi cleaned up the mess you had just left inside her, slurping your load directly from Hyewon’s freshly fucked pussy and greedily swallowing it all, rekindling the fire in your loins and bringing you back to full hardness, something Eunbi took notice of. 

“Don’t relax yet, baby. You still need to give mommy your cum.” 

Hyewon crashed to her side exhausted as you laid down in anticipation of what Eunbi had planned. 

"Mommy wants to ride that cock," Eunbi said as she pounced on your body and you felt her naked thighs straddling your waist, caressing your sweat misted skin and smiling sweetly. 

"Just relax and let mommy do all the work."

Her gaze relaxed you as she kissed you again, this time more lustfully, biting your lower lip and holding on. She grabbed your cock, slickened with the juices of both women and stroked it carefully, teasing her silky wet folds with it. 

“You’re still throbbing for me, baby. Does mommy turn you on this much?” 

“Yes, mommy. You’re so sexy.” 

“I’m glad you think so, baby,” Eunbi said shyly, still teasing her warm flesh with your leaking cock. 

“What do you like about me, baby?” 

“Your pretty eyes. Your sexy hips. Your amazing tits. Your soft thighs. I love everything about you, mommy.” 

Eunbi blushed. “You’re so sweet, baby. I hope you still have some cum stored up in those balls. Mommy wants to ruin you.” 

“Please do, mommy.” 

With your tip still aimed at her tight entrance, Eunbi lifted her hips up and slowly sank down onto your cock, parting her wet flesh and impaling herself. She took the first few inches of your shaft at first, and then slipped every part of you inside her with ease as if showing off and moaning freely at being so full. 

“Oh fuck, baby,” Eunbi moaned loudly, resting her delicate soft hands on your chest. You grabbed onto her waist and stared at her magnificent figure, your mouth drooling over every sinful curve of her body so sculpted to perfection as you eagerly anticipated her next move. 

“You’re so wet, mommy.” 

“All because of you, baby,” Eunbi replied with a charming smile as she began slowly moving her hips, taking you in and out of her body at a delicate pace. Your mind went numb at the warmth and tightness enveloping your shaft, her pussy gripping on tight as if to tell your cock it wasn’t going anywhere but inside her. 

Eunbi threw her head back as her pace increased and she created a steady rhythm, rolling her hips as she rode your cock, taking you to the hilt with every bounce. She was in control in more ways than one, not for her comfort but for yours, only giving as much pleasure as she dictated you needed. 

With her pretty hands still resting upon your chest, her nails began digging into your skin as the look in her eyes became more devilish. 

“Mommy loves your cock,” she said as she picked up the pace, her warm thighs smacking against yours, as you felt mesmerized by the way her huge breasts bounced.

Eunbi grew tired of her sensual nature and began slamming herself against your shaft, her tight cunt dripping juices each time she was filled to the hilt, She became more and more aggressive by the second, leaning her body forward to kiss and lick your neck before blowing hot air in your ear. 

“Hyewon might get to fuck you while you live together, but mommy owns this cock. She’s just borrowing it when I’m not around.” 

“It belongs to you, mommy.” 

“Don’t either of you forget that,” she said as she violently rode your cock, her warm skin slapping against your own flesh as her cunt was repeatedly penetrated as deep as possible, riding with vigor as her ass plump bouncing wildly against your cock. 

“Mommy needs these balls drained, baby. You’ll give mommy your cum, won’t you?”

“Y-yes, mommy. I’ll do anything you ask.”

“Anything?” 

“Yes, mommy. Anything.”

“What if mommy wants to keep riding you after you cum?” 

“Then mommy can keep riding me as long as she wants.” 

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” Eunbi asked as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her tits. You nodded and squeezed them both, playing with her hard nipples with your fingers. 

“You like mommy’s tits, don’t you?”

“I love them. Your tits are so amazing, Mommy.” 

Liking what she heard, Eunbi grabbed the back of your head and brought her chest to your face, smothering you with her delicious breasts. The soft flesh of her heavy tits against your face felt so comforting and heavenly, you never wanted them to leave. 

“Oh fuck, baby, mommy might cum soon.” 

You loved every moment, every sensation sent through your body. You didn’t mind Eunbi using you to get off, you wanted nothing more but to please her. 

Eunbi rode you so hard that you were sure the bed was going to break, clearly enjoying vigorously using your cock. 

“Unnie, don’t break him,” Hyewon teased as she rested her tired body up against Eunbi, burying her face into the crook of her neck. 

“All rested up for round two?” Eunbi asked. Hyewon tiredly shook her head. 

“No, I just wanted to play with these,” Hyewon said as she felt up her chest, cupping her breasts softly and giving a gentle squeeze, stealing the large mounds from the comfort of your face and into her own hands.

“Don’t be selfish, Hyewon,” Eunbi said. The two exchanged saliva as their lips met and tongues clashed, Hyewon giving into the older woman. 

Eunbi’s juices vigorously flowed out of her cunt, the added stimulation of Hyewon’s hands exploring her chest, pinching her nipples brought her new uncontrollable pleasure that she couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“Is mommy going to cum?” Hyewon asked, surprising the room by warming up to the use of Eunbi's insistent title. 

“I am,” Eunbi softly said, laughing at Hyewon’s use of the word. 

“Cum for us, mommy,” Hyewon innocently said, and it seemed to trigger Eunbi’s second climax of the night as she slipped into a euphoric trance as all her senses were shaken, tightening around your cock and leaking enough juices to almost slip out of her. 

Once she came down from her high, you felt the enthusiastic bounce of her hips as she intended to draw out your own climax as Hyewon still clung to her body. 

“I forgot how needy you are after you cum,” Eunbi teased. “I-i’m not-” Hyewon protested, proving the opposite as she kissed Eunbi’s shoulders. 

“Are you close baby?” Eunbi asked as she grabbed your hands and interlocked your fingers with hers, pinning your arms above your head. “If not you will be,” she smirked. 

“Cum inside mommy,” she demanded as she gave her all, slamming herself down with the only intention to drain you. Her hair was out of place, sweat dripping all over her body, making her jiggling breasts look even more appetizing, she had never looked sexier. Eunbi was in total control of you, and you were going to finish inside her whether you wanted or not, not that you ever would have rejected that idea. 

You laid there helplessly as Eunbi rode your cock without mercy, her sweaty thighs slapping against your own as you struggled to gather your senses, waiting for the inevitable as the pressure in your abdomen grew. 

“M-mommy, I’m gonna cum,” you cried out, every syllable difficult to form as they left your lips. Her eyes lit up in anticipation. You didn’t hold on anymore, not that you could, but you stared into Eunbi’s eyes and the lustful look that demanded your release sent you over the edge. 

“Cum for mommy,” she said as if those three seductive words were the final bit of permission you needed. You groaned needily as your throbbing cock exploded inside her, filling up her walls as she drained the final spurts of cum left just for her, somehow equally as much as you had given Hyewon. 

“Such a good boy,” she said as she kissed your forehead. You wondered if she was going to keep going, keeping you to your word of not stopping but mercifully she seemed satisfied. 

Giving you a few moments to rest she slowly and gingerly lifted her body off of your cock an inch at a time, the three of you watching the dripping thick load leaked between her thighs, the result of your combined juices seeping out. 

Hyewon looked in awe. “I can’t believe you can still cum so much. “ 

“I have that effect on people,” she proudly boasted. You laid there barely able to move, twitching as you felt their mouths returning to your cock, lips and tongues cleaning up your shaft and running all over your drained balls. 

Moments after you passed out from exhaustion.

                                                              ✦✦

The morning after was a blur. You arose before anyone else, still wondering if the night before was a wonderful dream that you unfairly never acted out. The mess of stained sheets and naked limbs surrounding you and the weight of both gorgeous women perched on your chest thankfully meant everything became a reality, but you still pinched yourself just in case. 

"Good morning…" you heard a voice softly say sleepily.

"Good morning, mommy," you responded as you saw Eunbi waking up. 

"I love when you call me that," she said as she left sweet tender kisses on your chest. "It turns me on so much."

"Did you sleep well, mommy?" you asked, repeating the word.

"I did, baby, thanks to you. I'm still wet though, just thinking about you."

Eunbi’s pretty fingers ran through out of place strands of your hair, playing with them. 

"And it looks like you're excited this morning thinking about mommy," she said as she grabbed your cock and stroked slowly. You moaned at her touch and she smiled devilishly. 

"Maybe mommy should jerk you off right here."

"We shouldn't wake her."

"Hyewon? She'll be out for a while, you really did a number on her."

"Still, I'd hate to disturb her."

"How about a quickie in the shower while she rests?” Eunbi asked. 

"Now that's a great idea." You carefully removed yourself from underneath Hyewon, trying not to wake her. Eunbi literally grabbed you by the dick and led you to the bathroom, letting the water get as hot as it could before stepping inside. 

You didn’t know what it was about both women that seemed to love their scalding hot showers, but you weren’t going to question it given the view in front of you. 

Not long after you wettened you hair, Eunbi turned the shower into her own erotic show as she soaped up her voluptuous body and lathered up her massive tits. Knowing you couldn’t divert your eyes she played with her own nipples, pinching and pulling on them as she moaned and you quickly felt yourself growing hard as a rock. 

“You like watching mommy get clean?” Eunbi asked as she bit her lip. Before you could answer the shower door opened and Hyewon joined the fun. 

“Hey! You started without me,“ she frowned. 

“You looked so peaceful, we didn’t want to wake you,” Eunbi said. 

"Nice excuse, unnie. You just wanted his cock to yourself."

"You caught me red-handed. And what happened to mommy?"                        

Hyewon blushed and turned shy. 

“Just clean me, " Eunbi said. 

You couldn’t help but feel they were teasing you, soaping up each other's bodies and kissing each other at the same time as the water ran down their flushed skin. As always, Eunbi felt the need to up the ante, using her knee to spread Hyewon’s wet thighs and grinding against her core. 

“F-fuck, mommy-” Hyewon moaned. 

“You wanna ride mommy’s thigh don’t you, baby?”

“Y-yes, mommy,” she desperately responded, trying to force any bit of friction she could against Eunbi’s muscular toned thigh. Eunbi allowed it for a few moments, finding it cute how needy she always was as she brought her fingers to her breasts, playing with Hyewon’s swollen sensitive nipples before grabbing her hips and ceasing her movements. 

“You shouldn’t cum before our guest does,” Hyewon whined but didn’t voice a complaint. 

She grabbed Hyewon by the ass and pulled her towards her body, their wet soapy breasts mashing together. 

“Hyewon.” 

“Yes, mommy?” 

“Follow my lead.” 

Eunbi knelt on the shower’s tile floor, Hyewon quickly followed, both stroking your cock. Eunbi angled her body to the side as the water ran over your chest. Soaping up her tits even more, she grabbed your cock and placed it in between her soapy cleavage, wrapping her breasts around your shaft. 

She didn’t move yet, and Hyewon caught on quickly, matching her position on the opposite side with her wet breasts smothering the other side of your shaft. You realized what exactly was about to happen, and nothing could prepare you for it. 

They flashed each other a look, and the moment they started moving together you absolutely lost it as they created friction, sandwiching your cock in between the heavy warm flesh of their tits.

“Holy fuck,” you moaned, and they both let out gasps at the result of their sensitive nipples grinding against each other. As if that weren’t enough, Eunbi leaned in to take a kiss from Hyewon who returned her advances, as the two messily sucked each other's faces. 

You had no doubt in your mind that this is what heaven was like. 

“Like that, baby?” Eunbi said.

“You have no fucking idea.” 

They both giggled and watched as you lost your mind even more. You didn’t dare close your eyes for a second, keeping your eyes glued to the way their perfect tits assaulted your cock, struggling to keep your composure as the intense pleasure spiked through every bit of your body. 

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last very long.” 

“Mommy wouldn’t expect you to.” 

Just a few more moments was all you could handle, the warmth of both of their breasts squeezing and massaging your cock was too much. You throbbed in between them as you groaned loud enough to echo around the shower walls as you filled up their cleavage with cum and painted their pretty faces and they proudly wore your warmth on their features. 

The two shared a series of giggles before Eunbi licked your sticky warmth off Hyewon’s face, the younger returning the favor before licking each other's faces clean, kissing each other with cum-stained lips and eagerly swapping your load. 

They kissed your depleted shaft as you weakly leaned yourself against the shower’s cold tiles, forcing your eyes open as Hyewon rode Eunbi’s thigh to completion and Eunbi gushed all over Hyewon’s slim fingers in a matter of moments. 

The three of you dressed and dried off in relative silence, recovering from the events of the past 24 hours. 

“What happens now? With the case?” you asked. 

“We don’t exactly know ourselves. We’ll have to figure out what happened, what went wrong, and if our information was inaccurate. This is a huge setback,” Eunbi said.  

“We’ll be spending most of next week recovering from this. And we were so close too,” Hyewon frustratedly said. 

“It can’t be helped, these things happen sometimes and we’ll have to prevent it from happening again,” Eunbi reassuringly replied. 

“No more talk about work. How about some breakfast, Hyewon?” 

“Right away. How does pancakes sound?” 

“Amazing,” you said.

“Make an extra batch. We’re going to need to save up our energy for later.”  

                                                         ✦✦

“Hey. It's me. No, they don’t have any idea. Fucking idiots. Their operation was a failure in every possible way.” 

“No, it was thanks to you too, boss. Yes, the account number is still the same. I can’t show you my gratitude enough, I’ll be able to pay off these fucking loans finally. “

“I’m not sure, I’m sure they’re scrambling like chickens with their head cut off. I’ll be able to find out more on Monday. Yes, I’ll be careful. I’ll see you in a week. “

#kpop smut #izone smut #hyewon smut #eunbi smut #male reader #reader insert #eunbi #hyewon #izone #kpopfanfic #kpop fanfiction

[lihikainanea]

Lei, what if tiger's having a bad day and theb when shes going back home shes robbed and they take all her belongings and whe walks back home and when she gets there, she just breaks down in bills arms? Maybe the purse they took was smth bill presented her with

Ohhhhh the poor wee bubs :-( This is so scary. I really, really hope that none of you have ever gotten jumped or robbed or anything horrible like that. It’s happened to me twice and I’m glad it happened to me instead of another girl who maybe wasn’t quite as comfortable with the notion of fighting. Or you know, maiming someone. It actually turned into a pretty big ordeal for me, both times it happened it was late at night, I was alone and walking to my car in the subway parking lot. I’m...I’m kind of an easy target, at least visually. I’m small. I walk with my head down and my shoulders hunched. I’m usually not paying attention, or I usually have my headphones in (don’t do this, kids). I tend to always look confused. I never remember where I park, so I was probably looking around and generally looking lost. The first time it happened I was...oof, I think a yellow belt? that’s the fourth belt for us--and I was already competing so I was more than comfortable with fighting. I got that guy on the ground and thankfully a taxi driver at the stand nearby saw the whole thing, and the police were on their way.

The second time it was a similar scenario, except this time I was a brown belt and was competing internationally. So when he grabbed my ponytail in one hand and my shoulder in the other--the only thought I remember going through my mind is YOU WANNA PLAY, MOTHERFUCKER? I didn’t even hear the sirens of the cop cars, when they pulled up. It took two officers to pull me off the guy, and even then I got maced because I went after the officers. Hours later when they asked me what happened, I wasn’t even able to tell them. My mind just went blank in the moment.

Long story short it really did turn into a whole big thing, and the dude actually tried to press charges against me for excessive use of force. Imagine that? He tries to rob me but he picked the wrong bitch, and I hurt him so bad that he tried to press charges against ME. I had to give a deposition, or whatever they call it. My Shihan had to give a deposition about how we are trained--to neutralize first, and ask questions later (he also let the officers know for the future, that until they realize who they are dealing with, to never approach someone from behind and grab them in an attempted hold to calm them down. We will perceive it as another attack, and we’ll react accordingly). There was a psychologist with an expertise in highly competitive, combat sports athletes and the way we are programmed, our reaction times.

Anyway, nothing ended up going through. But ain’t that some shit?

In any case, poor tiger. Maybe it’s one of those spring evenings where the weather is FINALLY getting nice out, and after a girl’s night at a nearby restaurant, tiger decides to walk home instead of texting Bill or taking a cab. And maybe she’s just a tad tipsy, just a wee bit buzzed, so she’s not quite as alert as she normally is. She sees the three dudes on the sidewalk a few blocks away. They’re laughing loudly and joking and she thinks maybe they’re a little harmless. She steps aside a little as they near her, and then as they intersect one of them bumps into her shoulder roughly. It spins her around to face another one, and now two of them are behind her and one of them is blocking her way forward and suddenly nothing about this seems harmless.

“Give me your phone,” the menacing voice barks, “And your purse.”

Tiger is stunned, her adrenaline going high, but she’s also still tiger.

“Fuck off,” she yells. And then she tries to side step him to run but the guy is too quick. She’s shoved back, and then a flurry of hands are tearing at her jacket and pulling at her hair and just as fast as it started, it’s done--the guys bolt at lightning speed down the street, with her phone and her purse and everything inside of it.

Tiger’s heavy breathing quickly turns panicked when the full adrenaline hits her, she starts to wheeze and starts to sob and her legs turn to jelly. By some miracle, the survival part of her brain finally activates and she takes off--just runs at full speed, right to Bill’s. She realizes when she gets tot he front door that she doesn’t even have keys anymore because those were in her purse, so she just rings frantically. When it takes too long, she starts banging on the door. She’s full on wheezing now, barely getting any air in, she’s shaking and crying and she feels like she’s about to pass out.

Bill finally flings open the door, his eyes wide and alarmed already, but then he takes in the sight in front of him--tiger sobbing, her jacket torn, her hair disheveled, and his blood runs cold.

“Tiger,” he mumbles and he pulls her in, “Tiger, what happened?”

She buries her face in his chest, clutches onto him.

“I...they...” she hiccups.

“Easy kid, try and breathe,” he rubs her back soothingly as he hugs her tighter, “Tiger, did you get mugged?”

More wracking sobs.

“Yes,” she finally wails, and she all but tries to crawl into him.

“Oh god kid,” he says softly, “Are you hurt?”

She can’t answer, and when he tries to put her at arms distance so he can better a look at her, she just cries out and dives for him again.

“Okay easy,” he soothes, “Tiger, I need to know if you're hurt.”

“They took everything,” she mumbles pitifully, “My whole wallet, my phone--”

“All of those things can be replaced,” he interrupts, “You can’t be. Are you hurt?”

“No,” she finally says, “Just scared.”

And the poor bub. She’s just a panicked mess. I’ll bet she spends the whole night crying, and Bill is torn between wanting to comfort her and just feeling this overwhelming emotion of fucking RAGE because he wants to find these fuckers who dared put their hands on her.

Tiger doesn’t sleep that night, and Bill has to gently suggest that maybe she should take something to help her calm down, something that will help her just get some rest. She’s always reluctant with those sorts of things, but after he talks to her and tells her she needs to rest, that she’s safe and he’ll watch over her, she finally agrees. Maybe even the next morning she’s barely awake before she’s already shaking again. He just has to hold her real tight, never let her get very far away from his arms, but there’s also the logistical issue they have to deal with--of whether or not she wants to file a police report. Maybe she doesn’t initially, but he manages to convince her that it’s probably a good idea, if nothing other than to maybe help protect somebody in the future. Tiger is a mess when she’s giving her statement, and it takes every ounce of control Bill has to not go full fucking alpha male when she describes how they jostled her around.

Poor bean :-(

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill

[simsadventures]

Better Like This: Epilogue

Warnings: mention of sex (part of a previous chapter, nothing too visual), fluff, a/b/o dynamics, mention of breeding, therapy

Word Count: 1900

A/N: I honestly couldn’t bring myself to write this part, because I didn’t want to leave the story. But all must end, and so here we are. Thank you guys so so much for sticking with it for all 16 parts, you are truly the best. Thank you everyone who took the time to give me feedback, or any like at all, it means the world to me. So, hopefully you’ll enjoy this last part, and you’ll stay with me for the next adventures to come. Love you all!!

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

“I love you so fucking much, doll. I can’t ever lose you, do you hear me? You are it for me, don’t you ever forget that.”

He rolled over so you could lay on top of him, while his knot deflated. “I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to. Even when I couldn’t remember my own name, Bucky, I knew you. My heart knew you. Whenever you were next to me, I felt safe. It scared the hell out of me in those moments, because my brain couldn’t recall you, but my heart did, and it fought for us to stay together. Even if I never regained my memory, I want you to know that I was willing to start anew with you, because you’re it for me too. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, no doubt in my mind about it.”

Silence fell upon the two of you. You kinda thought he would at least hummed, or something, but when you looked up to see what was going on, you had to chuckle lightly. Bucky fell asleep, your body on top of his.

He must have been so tired, so scared to not have his Omega with him, and when he finally found you, you couldn’t remember him. It took a toll on him, and you knew it would take a lot of time and probably therapy to make Bucky loosen his protective behaviour a little. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered as long as the two of you were together. With this thought on your mind you let yourself be lulled to a sweet sleep by Bucky’s raising chest and puffs of breath.

6 months later

“Oh, for the love of God, Bucky, I’m going, and that’s my last word!” You said, while angrily stared into his eyes. Bucky standing in front of you, his chest puffing with his jaw set and lips pulled in a thin line.

“For the last time. No! You’re not going anywhere, ‘Mega! This will be too dangerous, and I’m not letting you go undercover when the perp can easily attack you. No fucking way.”

His breathing was fast and shallow, and you could see that under the tough exterior, there was a little scared soul, begging you not to go into action. But you had to. It was your job, and despite all that happened, you still loved every second of it.

“You guys will be there, remember? I’m not going there alone, Buck. You’ll be sitting on the bar, and when you see that the guy’s doing some fishy stuff, you can arrest him. Scott will be in the next booth, listening to all the conversation, and the rest of the team will be either at the exits or in the van outside the club. We got it all covered, baby, nothing’s gonna happen to me, I promise.”

You stroke his cheek, and he let himself relax a bit under your touch. He knew he was being unreasonable, that they all will be there to protect you, but still. He couldn’t afford to lose you, and he couldn’t bring himself to put you knowingly in danger.

“I know baby, I know. I just… I don’t know. It’s the first time since Amber that you’ll be put in risk, you know? I mean, sure, you were chasing some assholes since, but nothing was as serious as this one. I just wish someone else could take your place, you know? Not only am I gonna be super uncomfortable because you’ll be in danger, but also another Alpha will be probably touching you, and I’m not too sure if I can take that.”

You chuckled and pecked his lips quickly so that no-one passing you would be too disgusted by the mate love.

“You can show me who owns me when this is all over, baby, deal?”

His eyes darkened for a split second, imagining all the things he wanted to do to you that night. He then breathed out a simple deal and smiled at you. “I trust you, I want you to know that. I know you are strong enough to take anything. I just want you to know you don’t have to. That I’m here to protect you or at least help you beat the shit out of all the bastards out there.”

It was something you talked a lot about, especially in your shared therapy. After Amber and the toll it took on both of you, you decided to take both separate and shared therapy sessions, not only to help you realise the defence mechanisms in yourselves but also to figure out what was the best approach towards your relationship.

Bucky wanted to protect you, and it came to the point you two started fighting about you coming back to work. Bucky wanted to see you at home, tucked under a blanket, waiting for him till he comes back from his dangerous job. But you were having none of that. You wanted back in action. You were a cop, no matter what. You were not the first and not the last detective to be hurt, even though you were hurt more because of your personal life than your line of work.

It was an uneasy task to get Bucky to therapy. He thought everything was alright with him, and just because he found you every issue he ever had was suddenly resolved. But you knew very well that that wasn’t the case, and pretty much kicked him into signing for a solo therapy.

His over-protectiveness and sense of failure were the next issues you two worked on, and you were on a really good way. But you still had a long way ahead of you.

You knew it would be tricky to make Bucky agree to let you go undercover, but even your therapist thought it was a good idea. You would both realise that you were able to protect yourself, but at the same time, Bucky would be there if anything would go too far. You could count on him, and you needed to show him he could count on you to not get killed.

During the process, the whole team was a huge support group. They wanted you both at your best game but wanted you healthy and happy more. So they all let you take it one step at a time for both of you to do things at your own pace. Steve would assign you the seemingly easier cases, and Scott would never say a thing about it. If anything he was glad he could spend a little more time with Hope during that time. He was well aware that the time would come when you two would be on top of your game, and you’d be staying at the station most of the days.

Another thing that brought Bucky’s protective side, even more, was the fact that his Alpha side wanted to breed you bad. Like really bad. He couldn’t stop thinking about you all swollen with his baby. And the thought that someone would snatch this dream of his from him scared the life out of him.

You still weren’t too sure if you wanted a baby so soon. It really wasn’t even a year ever since you met Bucky, and he was all about family and marriage and all that. Not that you were opposed, not at all. But you wanted to wait for a little longer, enjoy your time as a detective, because you were aware that the second you’d get pregnant, Bucky would do all things possible to keep you at home. He would even probably make you lay down all the time, just to make sure you wouldn’t fall down the stairs, or something.

His breeding need got the better of him one day, and he felt like neither yours or his apartment were sufficient for a family, so he bought you a house. It was a grand gesture that he meant everything he said about taking care of you, and you appreciated greatly, knowing you could count on him no matter what. Even if you didn’t want a baby right away, you knew that if it really happened, Bucky would be there every step of the way, and he would make the best dad one day.

“Earth to Y/N!” Bucky waved his hand in front of your face. You shook your head, realising you were daydreaming about your future life with Bucky again. Maybe you were more ready to have a family with him than you thought.

“Sorry, I lost myself in my head there for a second.” You smiled reassuringly when Bucky looked at you a little confused and little afraid of what you might have been thinking about.

“C’mon, lovers! It’s almost time!” Scott yelled, peeking around a corner. You nodded his way and looked at back at Bucky.

“We got this babe. We’ll get this motherfucker and then we can go home. We might even be lucky to come soon enough to build the dresser we bought in Ikea last week! I mean, it doesn’t get better than building the björksnäs, or whatever it’s called!”

You beamed at him, and Bucky just shook his head. “Doll, I can think of a hundred other activities I’d rather do than build freaking furniture from Ikea. I mean, it took me only two fucking hours to built that coffee table, and it had 4 steps.”

You chuckled at the memory of Bucky swearing like a sailor, and after his 3rd unsuccessful try, you had to stop him from wrecking half the living room. He wanted to do it all alone, be the man in the house, but he had to admit that he wasn’t good with plans, and definitely not plans from Ikea.

“We’ll just have to train your patience, love. What are you going to do when our children will need help with homework, and they won’t understand the way you explain it to them, huh?”

“Are you seriously comparing our future kids to furniture? And wait a minute, since when do you imagine things such as me doing homework with our kids?”

You could see that it pleased him immensely that he was no longer the only one in the relationship thinking about your shared future. “well, you were the one implanting the image in my head. You gotta live with that now!”

“Oh, gladly, doll, gladly! Maybe we should start-“

He couldn’t finish the sentence as Scott’s voice boomed across the hall once again. “Don’t make me come there and get you two! Seriously, come on, we’ve got work to do!”

“We’re coming you big baby!” You yelled at him, laughing when his head appeared in the hall, his eyes burning holes into your head. “Oh, you’re on, Y/LN, you’re on!”

You and Bucky both shook your head at your partner’s childishness, intertwined your fingers and walked towards Steve’s office to get ready for action.

The future wouldn’t be without bumps, but you were positive that no matter what life brings your way, you can take on anything, as long as Bucky’s right there next to you. And you knew that Bucky would be there, every step of the way, no matter how many Ikea furniture you’d put in his way. You were just better like this, better together.

THE END

Better Like This:

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#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #detective bucky #policeau #alpha bucky barnes #alpha bucky #alpha bucky omega reader #omega!reader #omegaverse #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #alpha beta omega #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #avengers #avengers a/b/o #avengers fanfiction #scott lang #marvel #mcu #mcu fanfiction #multiple chapters #better like this #epilogue #fluff #fluffy bucky #end of the road

[bittysvalentines]

la dolce far niente

To: @insertatitlehere​

From: @wrathofthestag​ 

 For @insertatitlehere​ who wanted some family drama, pets, some introspective Jack, or social media.  How about all of them? :) I hope you like it. From @wrathofthestag​

 Fic Summary:  With Bitty out of town for a few days, can Jack learn to unwind and enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing?

 Rating:  General Audience.

It had come as a surprise.  Just as Jack and Bitty had settled in for an evening of Netflix and Chinese takeout to enjoy the last sleepy summer days before Jack’s preseason the call came in.

“He did what?” Bitty sat upright on the couch, practically knocking over the bowl of pepper steak on his lap.  “Oh no!”

Jack looked at Bitty, who in turn, stroked Jack’s arm and shook his head, as their husky, Netty, nervously paced around the room.  

“Coach broke his leg, he’s okay,” Bitty quickly whispered then returned to the call at hand.  “What did the doctor say?”

Bitty spoke to Suzanne, throwing out an occasional, “uh-huh,” and finally hung up with a big whooshing exhale.

“What happened, Bits? Is Coach okay?”  

“That darn man!  He insisted on cleaning the gutters himself—even after mama warned him not to—and he slipped as he was coming down the ladder. Bam! Broken fibula!” 

And just like that, Bitty was off to Madison the next day to help Suzanne out and act as referee between her and his Aunt Marlene.

The night of Bitty’s departure, Jack sat in bed catching up on long-ignored emails.  He waited for Bitty to text him, letting him know he arrived safely.

He saw an email from Ruben, the Falcs head of social media, and groaned. The subject was read Social Media Update.  He’d been on Jack for a while to get his Instagram going and much to Jack’s chagrin, George agreed.

Ruben had called Jack into his office, a while back, and Jack already knew what was coming.

"George said photography’s your hobby,” Ruben said matter-of-factly.  “So let's set you up with an Instagram." 

"Bitty already did, I just haven't done anything with it,"  Jack said as he fidgeted with the Falcs paperweight on Ruben’s desk.

"Jack, the only thing worse than no social media is bad social media," Ruben sighed.

"You sound just like Bitty, " Jack said as he shrugged helplessly.

"Yeah, well, there’s a reason I like that boy."  Ruben smiled.  "Now let's get some content in there.”  

Since that meeting, Jack uploaded exactly zero images. That was three weeks ago.  He now took to ducking into empty rooms whenever he’d see Ruben walking his direction.

+++

Jack's alarm had gone off twenty minutes ago but he remembered the conversation he had with Bitty before he left...  

“Why don’t you finally do all those little things you’ve been wanting to do, but never have time?”

“Little things?”

“Yeah, you know.  Treat yourself."

Bitty leaned in and kissed Jack.  A big lush kiss. 

"You know how you’re always saying you want to sleep in more, try some new recipes, read a book on the balcony—those things. Do it. Do a little nothing."

Jack smiled thinking of the possibilities, and so he opted to stay in bed.  He stretched lazily and watched the sunlight waft in. The light made curious shapes on the bedroom ceiling. 

He turned to look at Bitty's side of the bed. Even though Jack had the entire bed to himself, he stayed on his side the entire night.  He reached over and took Bitty's pillow and pressed it to his face.  It no longer smelled of him, but Jack hugged it to his chest.

Just then Netty walked in, the look on her face clearly demanded breakfast.  She gingerly strolled over and placed her chin on the empty side and looked up at Jack through lowered lashes.

"I know, girl.  I miss him too."

Netty’s tail wagged.  

Bitty was never really a pet person, and it had taken a whole month for him to really warm up to Netty, but when Jack went a long roadie, Netty stuck to Bitty’s side.  By the time Jack returned, Bitty now called her Punkin, Cookie, Biscuit, and about a million other baking-related nicknames.   

“Jack, she’s just so sweet—and has your eyes.  Don’t you, my little praline?”  Bitty had said as he scratched Netty’s chin.

Jack put the pillow down and sat up. Netty perked up.

"All right, let's get you some food and we'll go out for a run.  Let me just see if I got any messages from Bits."

Jack reached for his phone and checked it. He already had a message waiting for him.

Bitty: Morning, handsome! Text me when you're up. Say hi to my little cupcake.

Jack: Netty said your pillow is VERY soft. We might have to make room for her every night.

Bitty: Jack Laurent, please tell me you did not let her sleep in our bed.

Jack: Maybe? 

 Bitty: Jack!

Jack: Haha. Just kidding. I might, though. The bed's too big without you.  

Bitty: <3333

Jack smiled.  He got out of bed and turned back to look at it. He was struck with the urge to take a photo of it, and then on a whim opened up Instagram.  Scrolling through the filters, Jack felt overwhelmed by all the choices so he skipped that part and typed his caption.

The bed feels too big this morning.

He smiled and pressed "share."

"Shit.  Was I supposed to do hash things?"

Netty looked up at him and Jack frowned. He edited the post and tagged Bitty. 

"There."

Jack walked into the bathroom and saw his toothbrush sitting solitary.  He felt an instant pang of longing as he missed having Bitty's toothbrush next to his.  A toothbrush.  Jack felt so silly.  The chirping would have been endless if the guys—Samwell and Falcs alike—could see him now.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and blushed.  Jack decided in that instance that rather than feeling sorry for himself (Bitty had only been gone one day and Jack needed to pull himself together, tabarnak) he would document his day to show Bitty what he was doing.  Also, he could finally get his Instagram going and get Ruben off his back, but mainly it was for Bitty… and a little teeny bit for Jack.

The caption read: Good oral hygiene is the cornerstone to any healthy smile. Which comes in handy when you have someone who makes you smile. @omgcheckplease 

After he brushed his teeth, Jack walked to the kitchen and poured some kibble into Netty's bowl and she eagerly dug.  Jack took out the coffee grounds from the cupboard and was about to get the pot going when he stopped and remembered the Chemex Nursey had gotten him for his birthday.  

He had used it a few times, but mainly he’d stick to the coffee machine because Bitty would be so antsy for his morning cup.  This time, however, Jack knew he could be a bit slower.  He'd drink that “hipster bullshit”—Shitty's words, not Jack's—and really savor his morning cup.

He ground the beans and set the kettle to boil. He folded a coffee filter into a conical shape and wet it.  After he had placed it on top of the Chemex, he put the grounds into the filter.  Once the water was ready, Jack slowly poured it over the grounds and watched it drip, drip, drip away. 

Jack's thoughts suddenly took him to his childhood. Every morning when maman was home, he'd make her coffee.  He hadn't thought about it in years, but he would get up early (anxious insomnia kept slept at bay often for young Jack) and make her some coffee in the old silver Italian percolator that always sat on the stove.  

"Jacky, you made me coffee!" Alicia would say every single time, sounding just as surprised and genuine as the time before. 

He remembered how he watched her carefully a few times and then memorized all the steps so that one day, he would be able to do it on his own. And he did! Jack felt less alone somehow, brewing coffee for his mother as the rest of the world slept.

A great cup of coffee this morning, thanks to @derekmaliknurse’s birthday gift. @omgcheckplease should I pour you a cup? #chemex 

Netty pressed her nose to Jack's calf. 

"Hey, girl.  As soon as I'm done with my coffee, I promise we’ll go."

Just then, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Do my eyes fucking deceive me?"

"Hey, Shits."

"Don't 'Hey, Shits,' me."

"What do you mean?" 

Jack could already hear the teasing mirth in Shitty's voice.

"Well, I'm sitting here in Haus 2.0, chowing on some cereal, having my morning caw-fee, scrolling through my ‘Gram when lo and behold, not one but two—two motherfucking super soft JLZ posts appear on my feed."

Jack grinned.  "Oh?"

"I just about spat out my Oops Berries, brah."

"The front office asked me to step up my online presence,  that's all."

"That's all? Lemme talk to Bitty."

"He's in Madison."

"Madison? Why?"

"Coach broke his leg and he's out there helping Suzanne."

Shitty was quiet, almost too quiet.

"Shits?"  Jack asked, eyebrow quirked. 

Shitty guffawed.  "Jack, I love you but let's call a spade a spade."

"What do you mean?" He asked feeling transparent. 

"Brah, you're not doing that for the front office.  You're sending Bitty a visual love letter through Instagram.  You’re wooing him with images, and I gotta tell you, I fucking dig it."

Jack grinned.  "I don't know what you mean."

Shitty snorted.  "Right. Yeah. Okay.  Listen, who am I to stand in the way of your courtly lovin' ways? Personally,  I dig it. You go with your sweet displays of man-on-man affection--"

"I'm hanging up now, " Jack laughed.

"All I'm saying is prepare to be either chirped within an inch of your life or fawned all over online."

"Bye, Shitty."

"Bye, you Ansel Adams mofo.  You better dedicate a post to meeeee!"

Jack laughed.  He shook his head as he picked up his mug and walked out to the balcony.  

Taking a small sip, Jack relished the robust aroma of the coffee which had hints of chocolate and pepper.  He hummed happily.  The silky lush coffee slipped down this throat deliciously while he sat and watched the morning sky finish making her appearance. 

+++

During Netty's walk (Jack chose to opt out of a run that morning), they stopped at the corner bakery he and Bitty like so much. The morning rush hour crowd had long died down.  He got in line and watched as an employee brought out a tray of chocolate croissants, fragrant and fresh. 

"Hey, Jack," Kamal, the owner, said as Jack reached the register.

"Hey."

"No Eric today?"

"No. He's visiting his parents for a few days. It’s just me and Netty."

They both turned toward the window and saw her patiently sitting by the lamppost. 

"Cool. So, one low-fat bran muffin?" Kamal asked as he began to ring up the order. 

Jack looked at the croissants.

"No, I'll have two chocolate croissants and a peanut butter dog biscuit."

"All right, all right.” Kamal smiled. “Treat yourself, man."

Jack smiled.  "Yeah, something like that."

Jack untied Netty and they made their way to the dog park down the street.  He sat on a bench as he watched her run to and fro, while he ate his pain au chocolat.

+++

“It is little wonder that for Jack the Ripper, the ‘Liston Knife’ was the weapon of choice during his killing spree in 1888.”

Jack closed his copy of The Butchering Art, as he finished reading the chapter to Netty, who seemed quite enthralled while she rested at the foot of the couch where he lounged.  She then gave out a loud yawn.

“I was going to order some food, but how about I make us something instead?” Jack said to Netty.

Jack put down his book and polished off the last dregs of his tea as Netty lazily wagged her tail a few times.  Jack quickly took Netty’s picture and posted it.  The caption read:  She’s practically a baked good now and has no clue.  Right, @omgcheckplease? #husky

He sat up and stretched as he made his way to the kitchen.  Jack scratched at his belly and opened the fridge.  There was some deli meat, a couple tamales Bitty got from the local carniceria, half a cheesecake, packages of fresh meat, and various odds and ends. Jack knew there were some chicken tenders in the freezer, but he wanted something else… something different.

Jack:  Debating what I should have for dinner.

Bitty:  I’m surprised you’re not ordering from Star of Siam.

Jack:  I was going to but changed my mind.

Bitty:  What are you in the mood for?

Jack:  Not sure.  Something good.

Bitty:  Aw! I wish I was there so I could feed you.

Jack:  What would you do? 

Bitty:  Hmm… after giving you a bunch of kisses, maybe some spaghetti and meatballs?  Put some meat on your bones. You’re wasting away, Mr. Zimmermann.

Jack:  Haha.  That does sound good, actually.

Bitty:  You know MooMaw’s recipe box? The one on top of the fridge?

Jack:  The yellow box?

Bitty:  Yep!  Pull her spaghetti and meatball recipe and make that.

Jack walked over to the fridge and opened the small metal box. He found recipe after recipe handwritten on index cards, some yellowed with age, some written in Bitty’s neat script.

Spaghetti and Meatballs - Made with Love by Irene

Jack read the recipe: ground beef, onion, eggs, milk, garlic, crushed tomatoes, parmesan cheese. Reading it alone made his stomach growl. He opened the fridge again and saw he had most of the ingredients on hand.  He opened the cupboard and found the rest.

Jack:  I’m making MooMaw’s spaghetti and meatballs.  And I love you for having all the ingredients in the house. 

Bitty:  Be sure to send me a picture of how it turned out.

Jack:  Have you been online at all today?

Bitty:  No, I haven’t.  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I’ve been running errands for Mama all over town.  I’m getting ready to make a chicken casserole and then finally sit for a bit.  Why?

Jack:  No reason.

Bitty:  Skype tonight?

Jack:  9?

Bitty:  See you then, handsome. xoxo

Jack smiled as he gathered all the ingredients on the counter. 

“Alexio, play Wilco by Wilco on Spotify.”

The smart speaker began to play as the music floated through the kitchen.  Jack rarely listened to music in the house.  He preferred to let Bitty play whatever he wanted and instead saved his tunes for the car.

“You and your old man music,” Bitty would sweetly chirp whenever they were in Jack’s car.  

Bitty would lean over and raise the volume for Jack and begin singing to whatever song was playing—even if he didn’t know the words.  Bitty would make them up as he went along.  Each one smiling as the wind would blow through their hair.  Bitty’s smile like sunshine while Jack would gently stroke his leg as they drove down the Providence streets.

“Alexio, call Papa.”

Jack began cutting onions for the sauce, referring back to MooMaw’s recipe, as his phone rang through the speaker.

“Allô?”

“Hey, Papa.”

“Jack, what a surprise.  I wasn’t expecting your call until Sunday.”

“I know, but I wanted to call you now.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m just making some dinner.  Bitty is visiting his parents for a few days, and I just wanted to see how you and Maman were.”

«Missing your boy, are you?»

Jack smiled, even as his eyes stung from the onion.  «Yeah, but I’m also missing you and Maman.»

«What are you making?»

«Spaghetti and meatballs. I’m using Bitty’s grandmother’s recipe.»

«Do you remember that summer, you must have been about four or so, and the only thing you wanted to eat was spaghetti.»

Jack paused.  He placed the tip of the knife down onto the butcher block.  «I don’t remember that.»

Bob laughed.  «Really?  I’m surprised. You were very adamant about it.  Your poor mother was so upset that you wouldn’t eat anything else.»

Jack laughed. «Crisse, I think I do remember!  Did she make it for breakfast?»

Jack recalled sitting at their kitchen table in Pittsburgh (He always liked that house because the backyard was enormous, they got a dog. Wayne, the golden retriever) and swinging his legs back and forth as Maman placed a bowl of pasta in front of him.  The tang of the sauce, the gooey cheese being pulled from his lips.  It all came back to him.

«How is Maman?» Jack asked warmly.

«She’s out with Louisa and Marie—they’re at a wine tasting or something.  Who can keep track?» Bob said.  Jack could hear the mirth in his voice.

«Well, I just wanted to say a quick hi, and I better get back to this otherwise I’ll never finish.»

«Sounds good, son.  Send me a photo.»

«Will do. Talk to you on Sunday.»

«Love you, Jack.»

«Love you, too, Papa.»

Jack began to sing along to Wilco once again and he tossed the onion into the ground beef...

+

Jack sprinkled some parsley on the top of his dish and smiled.  

“Not bad, eh, Netty?”

She looked up at him expectantly, hoping for a bite. He scratched the back of Netty’s ears, then scooped a little pasta and a couple of meatballs into her dog bowl.  

He took out his phone and opened up Instagram again.

Homemade spaghetti and meatballs based on @omgcheckplease’s grandmother’s recipe.  I hope I made y’all proud.

Jack shared the photo and instantly closed the app.

“Come on girl, let’s eat.”

Netty followed Jack to the dining room where he put both dishes on the table. Netty jumped up onto one of the chairs.  Jack smiled contently as Netty began to dig in, and he soon followed.

+++

It was almost nine and Jack began to get ready for Bitty’s phone call.  He had cleared the dishes and placed them all in the dishwasher.  The leftovers were in the fridge and he remembered there was half a key lime cheesecake in the fridge.  Jack took it out, cut a big slice and poured himself a glass of milk.  

Jack took a photo of cheesecake and shared it on Instagram.  The caption read:  A day of doing sweet nothing ends with a sweet something.  Wishing @omgcheckplease was here.

   He stood at the kitchen counter and dug in; each bite delicious and sweet, reminding him of Bitty in every possible way.

He took another forkful of cheesecake and finally looked at his Instagram notifications.  Jack did a triple take—he had so many likes and comments, he didn’t even know where to begin.  So many were from strangers, too. It was a little overwhelming, so he decided to just look at comments from people he knew.

rubenalmanzoSM:  Well done @jlzimmermann1

bsknightESQ:  Brah!  When you cooking for me? Did you ever know that you’re my hero??

derekmailknurse:  I’ll get you some Stumptown beans. #chemexforlife

AliciaZimmermannProd:  Look at you!  On Instagram.

thelarissaduan:  I told Shits I would not chirp.  (Even though I really want to.  Esp. with that bed pic, dude.) #softbro

omgcheckplease:  I love this... and you.

Jack closed Instagram and yawned as he made his way to the bedroom.  He pulled his laptop into bed and at nine opened up Skype and called Bitty.

Bitty’s face appeared, looking sleepy and tired, but smiling brightly the instant he saw Jack.

“Hey, there, handsome.”

Bitty was in his bedroom, in bed, with his back against the headboard.

“Bits,” Jack said.  

He turned onto his side and rested his head on the crook of his arm.  The laptop sat on the mattress next to him.

“You are the sweetest, most beautiful boy in the entire world.”

“Am I?”

“You are! I saw all of your Insta posts.”

Jack could feel himself blush.

“They weren’t too… boring?”

“No!  I love them! They were lovely.”

“They were all for you,” Jack said softly.

“I know.”

Bitty reached out to touch the screen and Jack immediately did the same.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“I swear Jack, I thought I was going to have to break up some fisticuffs between Mama and Aunt Marlene.”

Jack chuckled. “That bad, eh?”

“The worst.  I’m so glad I’m coming home the day after tomorrow.  Poor Coach was basically like, ‘Save yourself, son!’”

“I miss your face,” Jack said simply and unguarded.

“Lord, I miss yours too.  So much…”

The two looked at each other as if they had nowhere else in the world they’d rather be.

“So, how was your day?  It looked pretty nice from what I saw,”  Bitty said as he finally spoke.

“It was. I did a little nothing, all day.”

“And my little strudel?”

“She helped.  Turns out she’s a pro at it.”

Bitty chuckled.  “I love it.  And how was it?”

Several years ago, Jack was in his therapist’s waiting room and was idly leafing through a copy of Psychology Today when he came across an article that made him pause.  He began to read it, and at the time found it to be completely absurd.  The article was about la dolce far niente, or the sweetness of doing nothing. 

“Maybe you sit and read a book. Maybe you stare out the window or balcony and listen to your favorite musician,” the article read. “What can you do today to begin doing nothing?”

Jack frowned as he read, not understanding what was so great about remaining idle.  It wasn’t until he began a relationship with Bitty that he truly understood what doing nothing could mean.  They could do nothing while they snuggled in bed, they could do nothing while they sat on the couch as the rain poured outside as Bitty slowly ran his fingers through Jack’s hair.  

Nothing with Bitty came to mean everything to Jack, and soon Jack began to appreciate doing nothing by himself. He understood that he didn’t have to be “on,” all the time. 95% was okay. La dolce far niente.

“Well?” Bitty asked again.

“It was sweet, Bits,”  Jack replied with a smile.  “Very sweet.”

#bittyjack #bv2020 #bitty's valentines #omgcp fandom #omg check please!

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on The Witness

[no spoilers... this game would be nearly impossible to spoil in text]

Where do I even start?

I guess one thing to know about The Witness is that you can watch the famous 9-minute tracking shot from Nostalghia - where Oleg Yankovsky tries to walk a candle from one end of a drained pool to the other without extinguishing it - in its entirety. (I think it’s the entirety, I left before the clip was over; yeah, Jon, I get it.)

How do we interpret this? I haven’t watched Nostalghia, but I know that scene. Every film major knows that scene. Tony Zhou cited it in discussing lateral tracking shots, how they emphasize environment and create emotional distance from humans in the frame, and how Tarkovsky uses this to make the sequence lonely and arduous. Kyle Kallgren cited it in discussing how YouTube makes critique of certain types of art difficult, and Content ID essentially decides for us what film as a medium is even for.

Jon Blow plays the clip in full with no commentary - or, rather, the game itself is the commentary. There’s a sequence in Indie Game: The Movie where Jon Blow expresses some pain about how his game Braid was received, how he felt no one who played it ever really understood everything he was trying to say with it. That feeling might be ameliorated if he weren’t such a constituionally obtuse motherfucker.

Perhaps the scene is meant to draw parallels between Yankovsky’s dedication to a task that is simple yet difficult and the game’s puzzles, built, as they are, around complexity-through-simplicity. Except, Yankovsky’s Andrei has a personal investment carrying this candle, one Tarkovsky has spent the entire film setting up. I was about five hours into The Witness when I found this clip - more than twice the duration of Nostalghia - and I still didn’t know why I was solving the game’s puzzles or what they were trying to communicate.

Perhaps the scene is meant to draw parallels between the patience it encourages in its audience and the calm, meditative mode all The Witness’ allusions to Buddhism are seemingly on about, to give yourself over to the time investment the game demands of you. Except, Nostalghia asks you to spend nine minutes thinking about one thing; zen Buddhism encourages you to think of nothing; The Witness asks you to spend between fifteen and forty hours thinking about a zillion things. It is not a game about clearing your mind, it’s about filling your mind up. There is little continuity between the thoughtless peace of meditation or Yankovsky’s emotional collapse and the game’s intended “aha” moments.

But the ambiguity, the contextlessness of the scene’s inclusion, means you can’t be sure whether it’s contradictory. If we assume it’s about dedication, and we find a flaw in that worldview, maybe the problem is that we didn’t assume it was about meditation. And vice versa. If it fails to communicate, maybe the problem is us.

The only thing this scene communicates for sure is that Jon Blow wants me to know he watches Tarkovsky.

Jon Blow wants you to trust he knows what he’s doing. That the game is saying something. He also never, ever wants to tell you what it is. (If he could just tell you, he wouldn’t have spent eight years making it into a game, I suppose.) But this operates on completely opposite rules to the puzzles. Puzzles in The Witness are maze-drawing panels with increasing numbers of rules, all conveying their rules nonverbally, through gameplay. You see a symbol you don’t recognize, or a shape you don’t know how to draw, and you try things out, you make assumptions, you fail repeatedly, and then something works, the panel lights up, and you know you got it right. Now you understand what the symbol means.

The theming doesn’t work that way. Whatever theory you have as to what the game’s about, there will be no moment of clarification. Blow has an incredible talent, in fact, for constructing imagery that is hilariously blunt yet still ambiguous. As with Braid, where he crammed a straightforward narrative about memory and regret with allusions to quantum physics and the atomic bomb, The Witness references Einstein, the Buddha, Richard Feynman, romantic poetry, tech culture, game design, and - most of all - itself.

I realize I’m dancing around the subject here, because what the gameplay is (or isn’t) in service of is far easier to talk about than the gameplay itself. The Witness is a big island full of touch screens where you draw lines on grids. That’s it. The island is dense with structures and biomes, impossibly having a desert, a swamp, and three different kinds of forest which appear to be in four different seasons. What it doesn’t have is any reason why you’re there or a justification for solving ~600 line-drawing puzzles other than because Jon Blow wants you to. I was wrong in my video from 2015 to call The Witness narrative-based; the game contains narrative but it is not a narrative game. The island is very pretty, meticulously crafted, and not trying in the slightest to look like a real place. It is Myst minus everything people like about Myst.

Absent a reason for my character - if I’m even playing a “character” - to solve the puzzles, why am I, the player, solving them? The short answer is, “Because they’re there. You knew what you were buying. You solve the puzzles because it’s a puzzle game, do I gotta draw you a diagram?” (No, you need me to draw 600 diagrams.) That is unsatisfactory because the island is clearly more than an elaborate menu system.

Do I solve them because they’re interesting? I mean, they’re not bad, if you’re into Sudoku or, like... cereal boxes. In and of themselves, they’re not my cuppa. People told me about a repeated sense of epiphany the game provoked for them, but that’s not the way I experienced it. Every puzzle is so carefully tutorialized that I never felt I was making an intuitive leap. There is no lateral thinking in The Witness, it is strictly longitudinal. You get a row of puzzle panels, and you take them one by one (you are, in fact, prevented from jumping ahead), each one building on what it taught you. And they get hard, certainly, but each is the logical progression of the one before. And each is a marvel of nonverbal communication, but that’s more Jon being clever than it is me. This is not to judge people who did get a feeling of discovery; one person’s “aha” moment is another’s “yeah, Jon, I get it.”

(Aside: I did get a proper “aha” moment when I came to a panel that could be solved two ways. It controlled a moving platform; draw one line, the platform moves right, draw the other and it moves left. And I thought, “Huh, I guess I get it, but those shapes seem kind of arbitrary.” But then, while it was moving, I realized the platform itself mirrored what I had drawn; the two designs were what shape the platform would take when connected with each endpoint! And I went “oh fuck, oh fuck, that’s clever, that‘s really clever.” My first epiphany. It was the most Myst-like the game got, it was clearly not the kind of experience Jon Blow was interested in recreating much, and it took place 7 hours in.)

Do I solve them because I’m compelled? In the first play sessions, I asked myself several times, “Do I even like this?” The game is often tedious and frustrating and I regularly muttered “fuck off, Jon.” But I kept playing. I got annoyed when people interrupted me. I got a hideous case of Tetris effect. They’re not the kind of puzzles you can spend the day thinking through, like you would with Myst or Riven; they’re too abstract to visualize without them right in front of you. And the world is pretty but it’s not a place I wish I could visit, like I would with, again, Myst or Riven. But I kept going back. I solved puzzles less because I found pleasure in finishing them than I found displeasure in them being unfinished. Jon Blow has given talks on how game design focused on being “addictive” is basically evil - his word, not mine. And yet... it felt more like I was playing his game because I was hooked than because I was enjoying myself.

Do I solve them because I trust Jon Blow? Because I believe this will all amount to something? Jon certainly expects me to trust him. The game blares PROFUNDITY AHEAD constantly. (I remind you it quotes the Buddha.) But, in the years since Braid, I have grown less impressed with Jon Blow’s “art game genius” shtick. One fun bit about playing The Witness so late is finally reading all the discourse, and, well before finishing the game, I had read the thoughts of Andrew Plotkin, and Liz Ryerson, and Andi McClure - all of whom are brilliant - so I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into. What’s surprised me is, having gotten to the first ending - not the secret ending - what the game is up to still isn’t clear. There are enough allusions to heady ideas that you can infer some stuff, but the default ending - while pretty enough - adds nothing and reveals nothing. And getting the True Ending means completing the In the Hall of the Mountain King section, something many will never find and precious few will ever complete. (Debating whether I’m going to even try.) If Jon Blow wants you to trust that he’s going somewhere with this, he makes you wait a long time before finding out if it’s worth it. [EDIT: turns out the secret ending comes after a different set of obscure puzzles than Hall of the Mountain King.]

Which leads me back to my original conclusion: I am solving the puzzles because Jon Blow told me to.

I suspect the arc Jon wants is for me to begin solving puzzles because I want to know what they’re in service of, what point Jon is trying to make, and then spend so long on them that I forget about the destination and just wrap myself up in the work, and, after dozens of hours on the hardest of the hard puzzles, Jon will finally reveal that the point he was making was about the labor I have just done. That he couldn’t tell me what it was for until I’d already done it. That the labor was its own reward. And how much you like The Witness is going to depend on whether or not you feel ripped off.

The overall impression The Witness left me with was less of meditation than discipline. (I have joked that playing The Witness feels like being in a D/s relationship with Jon Blow and not knowing the safe word.) Jon presents a simple concept and then expects you to solve every. single. permutation. of that concept. You do the work to find out what it’s about, and then what it’s about is the work. That game is about itself. The subject of The Witness is solving The Witness. It’s about purity of design, about simplicity, about slowly mastering a set of skills. (That these skills are neither inherently pleasurable to perform nor applicable in any other context seems not to matter; the point is, you learned them.) It’s hard not to read a game fixated on the beauty of its own design as all kinds of smug.

I allowed myself to be spoiled on the True Ending, and it seems, in the eleventh hour, if you draw lines til your fingers bleed, the game makes room for self-critique, questioning whether all this dedication to design actually is, in any way, meaningful or useful to us. Which, just a little bit, smacks of an artist spending two years making a sculpture of himself, chiseled to make him look a perfect Olympian beauty, only to label it “EGOISM.” Ooo. Make you think.

I suspect, in the end, I played it to (partial) completion because I was curious. I didn’t necessarily buy Jon Blow’s hype, but his hype is intriguing. As a portrait of a certain mindset, a monomaniacal obsession with design for design’s sake, the folk-religion of salvation through technology, and the critique of same, it is fascinating. I know people - smart people - who genuinely love this game, and, if the above is any indication, I clearly love talking about it. I have no regrets.

But, word of advice: if you don’t a) love the puzzles, or b) love the discourse, just walk away. Everything will be fine.

#capsule review #Adventure Games #the witness

[hellobrockie]

Some very long Rambly TROS thoughts

Holy fuck there is so much wrong with this movie.

Let's start at the beginning. Kylo tracks down the wayfinder/holocron crystal thing that will lead him to the sith homeworld. We learn that Palpatine was behind both the Snoke and Vader voices in Kylo’s head-basically the dude has been manipulating him for 30 years. Kylo states very clearly he's gonna kill this motherfucker. This is very in line with the Last Jedi- Kylo wants to destroy everything- the Sith the Jedi the Resistance- because he’s tired of the constant push-pull of rejection and manipulation. BUT THEN HE DOESNT KILL PALPATINE???? At first the film argues that he doesn't kill Palps because Palps promises him the big FINAL ORDER fleet? Okay...but I don’t think Kylo really gives a shit about a big fleet of ships when it's offered by the fucker who has been scrabbling his brains for shits and giggles. Once the ‘Rey Palpatine’ thing comes to light, we are lead to believe Kylo went along with the whole final order plan because he wanted to kill Palpatine together with REY???? Ahh okay? 

So now we switch back to Rey. She's basically a jedi, cool. And I guess the Skywalker saber just fixed itself, with literally no scars or anything. A great visual representation about how this film feels about character development that happened in The Last Jedi. So Rey breaks concentration and fails the courses. According to the film, this happens because sheisapalpatine. If you had two brain cells you would realize Rey could be upset for normal reasons ...like that in order to the Resistance to win she’s going to have to put Kylo down like a dog. Its kinda cool that Leia is her teacher (more on that later).

Soo then we spend the next hour on a pointless adventure with the Trio™. Which would be fun, if they were ever established as a Trio. Arguably the real trio might be Rose-Finn-Poe. More on Rose later. Here is a list of incomprehensible things that happen here:

Kylo reforges his mask. Because Reasons? The knights of Ren. Because Reasons?

A handful of force bond scenes. The first one actually isn’t half bad. By wearing the mask, Kylo is rejecting the intimacy inherent to the connection because he is about to  defile it. Grabbing Rey’s necklace is a physical and emotional violation. It's the first time he has ever used the connection for personal gain.  The other connection scenes mostly just play around with the two of them being able to pass each other stuff. They lack the careful editing of TLJ connection scenes. Disclaimer: I’m a pretty hard core Reylo and these scenes really lacked the magic they previously had.This might be un-purpose Kylo is clearly pretty lost as this point.  Dull, lacking in heart like so much of this film. 

Kylo becomes a cartoon power ranger villian spouting Palpatine exposition and attempting to create suspense by almost catching the trio a couple times. Some of the dialogue is almost Revenge of the Sith Anakin level awkward.  It lacks both the unstable angry energy of FA or the sad tired boi energy of TLJ. 

Rey makes force lighting because I guess she was upset and it's a genetic ability now???

Poe gets a female love interest, becuase hes heterosexual. HeTeroSeXUal.

Poe and Finn flirt for a whole hour while Poe checks out some new chick and Finn now has a harem thing kinda. 

Poe is now a spice trader. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S THE HAN SOLO OF THE TRILOGY. Let's just forget that TLJ establishes that Poe is his own character, probably loyal to the resistance since birth. His parents are rebellion alumni.

Two death fake outs. I don’t know why they had to give 3PO his memories back. He lost them at the end of the Prequels and R2 loved him anyway. Chewbacca capture was a missed opportunity to get some resolution to him shooting Kylo in the gut. 

Hux is the spy. Lovely. He is the ultimate weak bitch. Tbh the most consistent character development. Arguably my favorite detail on the entire film. Perfect execution. Domhnall Gleason is a gift. 

Now onto Endor. Endor has so much potential and squanders most of it.

Finn meets other people who left the stormtrooper program. Cool. Weird how it's tied to force sensitivity. I like the idea of the force putting Poe and Finn in the right place at the right time, but I think to imply people’s ability to escape slavery is tied to force sensitivity brings us to the problematic terrority of the sequels. Also the only one who talks to Finn is also black. And Clearly has a romantic vibe. Okay…..

The Rey Palpatine thing is made explicit. Even though anyone will half a brain figured it out 90 minutes ago. More wierd implications…..who would agree to fuck an old man Palpatine? So Rape i guess. Rey’s parents were normal...is this some kinda side material hook to read more about them or some shit??? Kylo refers to Rey’s parents as ‘filthy junk traders’. He's right. THEY SOLD HER INTO FUCKING SLAVERY. However Rey’s parents are good people??? WTF THIS IS THE JEDI COUNCIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

 Soo Kylo destroys the wayfinder to force Rey to work with him. Anti-Reylos will often get their panties in a twist about how it’s an ‘abusive relationship’. This is the only scene that really comes off as manipulative- in a way it never did in TLJ. Partly because they play up this idea of power-hungry Kylo (which has little basis in reality. In FA he just wanted to make Snoke his daddy. And TLJ Kylo is just soo fucking lonely) rather than sad boi Kylo trying to hold onto someone. Damn the TLJ throne scene is soo careful with getting that energy right, balancing the heartbreak with a little gaslighting (sorry off topic).  Then They Fight. Kylo doesn’t even pull out a saber at first because he literally has no intention of killing her. Rey fights because she's mad. Leia decides to intervene at this time, which is weird because Kylo still has no intention of hurting Rey. Apparently Leia sending Kylo a text is enough to freak him out. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS, MAYBE A ‘YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE’ TO TIE HIM BACK TO HIS NAMESAKE. 

Instead Rey gets him in the gut. She then heals him, something that should have been really intimate. This would have been time to kiss him in that wistful ‘ I wanted to know what it would be like before I exile myself forever way’. This is one of the scenes that desperately needed more breathing room AND GIVE KYLO SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE YOU COWARDS. Healing him combined with Leia stuff should have reduced Kylo to a pile of tears. I think he would find it completely overwhelming that someone thinks he is worth it, worth a part of their life source, worth their final breathes. 

Oh woah surprise Han Solo. This kinda works for me because unlike robot Leia and fairy godmother Luke, Han looks alive. Plus Han is only a memory so Kylo has to save himself, make his own choice. Aww fuck this got me the closest to tears becuase he looks so fucking sad about the fact that he can’t go home. Damn you Adam Driver and you’re big weepy eyes. His mother is dead and I don’t think he ever truly realized that she wanted him back. I guess with the way things went with Luke, he just assumed he was unwanted. Even now, Han is the only one of the 3 Ben can really imagine taking him back. Who knew Han was such a softie.  At the same time there is something so unintentionally sad about the fact that Ben’s whole family can become force ghosts and not a single one gives enough of  a shit about him to show up at the turning point of his life. 

Also the implication that Ben turns to protect Leia’s lifework is strange. Leia’s legacy is the Rebellion, a democratic senate, a planet wiped off the map, NOT SKYWALKER JEDI #2 JJ!!!!! Ben doesn’t even interact with any of the larger powers at work, he just saves Rey. 

Also while Ben’s guilt and shame about killing Han (his true sin) keep him on the dark side, this doesn’t address the 8 million other reasons he left the light. Also why do Leia and Rey never discuss this???? His own fucking family repeatedly rejected him because of his ‘Vadar-ness’ which is ironic considering…….

Then we cut to Rey’s fairy godmother-esque trip to Ahch-To where she arms herself with all of the Skywalker’s personal effects:

Mad that Rian Johnson denied you that ESB fanservice call-back of Luke being able to pull his x-wing out of water?? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered. 

Mad that Leia didn’t have lightsaber? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered, Leia was always prepared to be a back up to Luke because she doesn’t have her own perspective or anything or like a whole fucking political system to run. Also she stopped training because apparently completing her journey would end in Ben’s death...ooo SmArT foreshadowing that Rey using her lightsaber will end in one dead Ben boi. 

Leia and Luke ALWAYS knew about Rey Palps. Which is funny because they threw their own flesh and blood in the trash because he seemed kinda Vader-y. I guess it's wrong to judge people by their bloodlines unless its your own bloodline. I can’t even. 

There is no mention of Ben at all- even though Leia and Luke both died for him and Rey put her whole heart into saving him.  

Now to Exeger or whatever again. Almost two hours in and we’re back at the planet we were on in the first 5 minutes.

Spaceship stuff happens. Take out your checklist to get those pilot and ship cameos. Ooo look its The Ghost! OG trilogy pilot! Lando is there! WOOO! Poe’s girlfriend lived somehow! 

Ben’s last words are ‘Ow’.

Palps wants Rey to kill him because I guess that will make her evil? Since when does killing people make you evil? I don’t think killing Palps to save the world in the same as ‘striking your enemies down in hatred’ or whatever. 

Oh Hey Ben is here. Palps doesn’t care much I guess even though trolling Skywalkers is his whole life’s passion. 

Palps drains the life out of Ben/Rey. They don’t die. Ben goes flying into a pit. Rey has to face Palps alone because I guess even though Ben/Rey are stronger together and are cosmically linked the lone jedi thing will happen anyway?? Is feminism about doing everything on your own rather than building meaningful connections with your equal partner. Honestly only Men would think a women has to do everything alone to prove her worth, Rey has been wanting allies and family her whole life LET HER HAVE IT. 

Also okay sooo Palps did technically kill Rey’s parents and she had about a whole 5 minutes to think about that. Multiple generations of Ben’s family have been tortured by this guy, so I think it would be rather cathartic to see him play a bigger role in the end of Palp.

Rey enters the Avatar State. Cue more fanservice cameos (I love you Ahsoka, but you said it yourself, you ain’t a jedi). In another backhanded slap to TLJ were back on the TheJediDidNothingWrong line of thinking. Anakin is present ...I wonder if anyone else is interested in talking to him…...

Rey dies. I’m not sure why. Palps legit sucked the life of her and she lived, but the Avatar State killed her. 

Ben crawls out of pit. Damn Adam Driver has legs for days. He heals Rey, its kinda sweet but it's also really really weird that he hasn’t said anything. Not saying we need an over the top love declaration but even his emotionally constipated parents managed to get an ‘I love you’ out. 

Ben saves Rey. The thing Anakin thought the dark side would give him the power to do. Interesting bookend. Sad that my boy has such low self preservation, he gives her his life without hesitation. Why do we have to die for other people? It’s much harder to have to live for other people. To move and grow beyond the past. To try and be our best everyday, even when its hard. Isn’t that real redemption? 

Ben kisses Rey. Awww. Its missing some of the elements of a big romantic drama kiss, which I would be okay with ...if it was followed up with a big romantic kiss with a sunset on a new planet before the credits roll. Alas this does not happen. The audience is somewhat befuddled since their had been almost no dialogue referencing their emotional connections. The ‘no one knows me./I do.’ dialogue from the trailer did not appear in film. 

Ben smiles. It has all the boyish charm and innocence Anakin wished he had in the prequels. Aww he really has never kissed anyone. I wonder when the last time he smiled was. HAS THIS MAN EVER HAD A GOOD DAY HIS ENTIRE LIFE. I am emotionally moved until approximately 2 seconds later….

Ben dies. There is no funeral. No mention. Rey doesn’t shed a single tear. This dude literally gave you his life without hesitation. Is Reylo one-sided? Or at least not equally felt? Ow. U The Resistance doesn’t wonder what happened to the Supreme leader. We know at the end of TLJ Luke became a legend, I do not think this happens to Ben. 

The Resistance parties. Cue Return of the Jedi film reel. Poe and Finn are heterosexual. No resolution to the stupid ReyFinn force sensitve thing. Two women kiss. It will be cut out of the Chinese release. 

Rey buries the lightsabers on Tatooine because you know Luke lived there and Leia once wore a metal bikini there. Rey choose the name Rey Skywalker. Which is interesting because she didn’t get along that well with Luke. She finished her training with Leia Organa Solo, Princess of Alderaan who just happens to have been a result of a sperm donation from Anakin Skywalker. She found a father figure in Han Solo. She loved a guy named Ben Solo. I’m not saying she should name herself Rey Solo, but it certainly is better than Rey Skywalker. I mean it's almost like a person's worth and ability aren’t dependent on either a bloodline or acceptance into the galaxies most powerful family. Rey nobody would have been fine.  I’m not going to get into the feminist angle of a self made women tying herself to the legacy of a man. Cue theaterwide groaning. 

Twin suns. Cool. I liked them better in The Last Jedi.

Rey has a yellow-ish lightsaber and maybe made out of her staff. Wonder where she got the crystals from and why they didn’t introduce it earlier. Possible implication she's going the way of the ‘grey’ jedi? idk some Jedi have yellow actually. Ahsoka had a yellow one. Not sure since this film is back on the JediwayisBest bullshit. 

We see Luke and Leia's force ghosts. Ben’s last word was ‘ow’.

In Summary, some odd implications:

Rey Palpatine is quite possibly the worst idea of all time. Worse than midichlorians. The highest level of fanboy pandering and Rian Johnson erasure. Rey has a lot of very real things to be angry about - her rough childhood, the deaths of her mentors, loving someone as dense as Ben Solo, having to come to terms with the fact that her parents didn’t love her. 

Return to prequel-esque thinking on slavery. Apparently it is not that bad if you sell someone as long as you do it with LOVE. 

Making Finn force sensitive is not character development. Its just half assed pandering and additional exposition in a film filled with exposition.

There is some truly awful dialogue in this film. Its shot composition and editing is so sloppy compared to FA or TLJ. 

The force in balance means killing everyone on the darkside. 

Rose is completely sidelined. She is the only Asian character on screen. She is seemingly replaced with a black woman who has a similar background to Finn and is a scavenger like Rey. Yikes. Why does this feel like an anti-interacial relationship thing. 

Said Black women Jarrah talks to Lando, another black character in a bizarre dialogue that vaguely implies all black people are related. I might be really misreading this, but its weird. I would have liked her to talk to Rose instead because female solidarity. 

FinnPoe is played up a LOT. But we are also repeatedly reminded they are attracted to women. This does not feel like woke Bisexual culture. This is pandering without making a commitment. 

Rey’s worth as a character is related to her connection to powerful people in the Star Wars mythos, not her own traits. 

Ben’s character resonates really strongly with abuse victims and outsiders. His lack of dialogue strips him of a lot of his agency.  His estrangement from his family is not resolved. Vader, who arguably did a lot worse things gets a whole dying monologue and force ghost thing. 

Oh hey C3PO said the festival is every 42 year old….OG came out 42 years ago. heh.

In Summary:

Watch the Clone Wars animated series

Fall in love with Ahsoka

Watch Star Wars Rebels or at least all the episodes with Ahsoka and also the series finale, it's got some cool force stuff in it. 

Think about the cool force stuff in Star Wars Rebels and the cool force stuff in The Last Jedi. Woah.

Apply all this cool force stuff to your own personal version of the Rise of Skywalker

Wait for clone wars finale Feb 2020

Rinse and Repeat

Peg Kylo Ren

Oscar Isaac is the Captain on the FinnPoe Ship. 

The Last Jedi was the Best One. Fight Me. 

Find the fanfiction where Rey tells him what a good boi he is which reduces him to a puddle. Find the fanfiction where he cries during sex the first time, the second time, every time. Find the fanfiction where his force ghost gets a hug, where his family welcomes his back. 

Read Fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852886

What I would do instead:

Delete Rey Palpatine

Ditch the mask. You have a fucking Oscar nomiated actor hiding under it. 

After the Endor part, have Kylo join either Rey or the Resistance. Personally I think him hitching a ride on the Falcon would have been wonderfully awkward. And maybe give some closure the calling Finn a ‘traitor’ thing. This is fanservice-y, but no more fanservice-y than the rest of the film. And maybe finally answer the question of who does/doesnt know who Kylo Ren is. Would like a verbal declaration that he identifies as Ben Solo or least Ben or something. 

Ben can still die I guess but maybe give him some kinda funeral. Or reuse the golden dice symbolism. 

Slow everything done. Let the audience feel sad, feel happy. Oh and cut out those fucking death fake outs. 

#tros #rambling #reylo #spoilers #rey #Rey of Jakku no last name given #why did i write this #catharthis #ben solo

[deviationdivine]

Blue Blush (Connor!Prompt Request)

TLDR: Connor’s having one of those days at the DPD that just culminates in him winding up naked...

Word Count: 2,837

TW: Fluffy Boy Connor, Language, Suggestive Themes

A/N:Follower/Reader Appreciation Drabble | Prompt: “Nothing to see here.” “Um, you’re fucking naked!” - @sammyreh request! Here we go! My main man Connor’s back with more fluff to cure my chronic angst. Thanks for participating baby! 

How lovely you look today. Any day will be beneficial to his visual component analyzing each detail for memory storage. Already he has seen you first entering DPD but that does not stop him wanting to be around you approximately twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, four weeks in a month and-

Calculations drop out of range the closer you come. Realizing that he fell into distraction reminds him of what Hank calls it. The lieutenant says he is ‘whipped’ but Connor is unsure if you would partake in the sexual gratification of S&M. Whips appear to be quite popular in the area.

A flood of information filters in his scanners. Oh. That is not what the lieutenant meant.

Wiping out a flood of sexual content he automatically steps forward with a cup of coffee brewed specifically to your preferences. “Good morning, Love.”

“Good morning, Detective.”

Your greeting is airy with a wisp of mischief. Catching him off guard is rare. After all he will hear a pin drop with that supersonic hearing. It isn’t so much surprise but confusion settling into his cute face. Then he plays off your formal address all too cleverly.

“We are much more than colleagues now, Y/N.” The android admonishes teasingly, offering the hot beverage to you. “In fact, I do believe we are dating.”

Is that so? You laugh at the little joke. Breezing past his lips husky and endearing; your body leans into his chest acting as a harmonious magnet. Tangling fingers around silky tie pulls him down just enough but directing him isn’t necessary.

Connor places a sweet kiss that quickly transforms in a sultry tango to your lips. Wanting to curve fingers with the shape of your face, cradling, claiming you as his, he does remind himself of current priority. This is work. He does not wish to cause an uncomfortable climate. Most have no opinion about this new relationship the two of you have begun.

Hank obviously rolled eyes when Connor first admitted. Actually, it was not in disgust. The lieutenant thought it was “about time they worked it the fuck out” in his usual unpleasant terms.

There is a nudge of doubt still weighing through his system. Even as you come to hold a place for him in your rapturous human heart; Connor imagines if he did not become deviant.

Never will he doubt you or these feelings. He doubts how good he truly is for someone like you. Someone who is a lively spark in this world, making him feel further human. If he may hold, protect you forever that will be enough. Even if you decide to move away from this connection for your sake as a human dating an android; Connor drops his gaze. Being free with thoughts and decisions empties his mind for only his internal voice to ruminate. At times being alone is not best for a deviant.

“Connor? Are you OK?”

Stroking his cheek draws him up in a snap. Indicator flickers in a call sign interrupting this pleasant sensation reserved only for him. He reserves for you as well. As long as you want to be with him perhaps that is enough. To hold a moment tenderly expecting an end or his days of struggle eclipse logic too severely. 

He is more adaptable than this. Having something precious to lose makes the android surge with an entire new string of emotions.

Maybe he should ask Hank. On second thought, let’s not ask Hank.  

Connor smiles now. Appeasing worry is part of his programming. He is meant to integrate in an amiable way. He still follows patterns of protocol but more so out of choice. An unmistakable need to make you happy fills him with purpose.

“I just received an emergency call,” Connor breathes against your hand. Tiny peck of the android’s bottom lip grazes palm where you continue to offer a soothing caress. Tasting the natural chemicals held within your body spiking for every touch and affectionate fondle of skin. 

“It seems I will be out in the field earlier today. And – Hank is late.”

Anderson is late? Shocking! You smirk. “Well, that’s on him,” you chide. “But still… I’d like you having backup. Do you want me to-?”

“No, Y/N.” Connor is quick to shut down the suggestion. He knows of the astonishing capability you possess. There is more at stake.

Arguing won’t change his mind. He’s pretty good at making his own decisions. It makes you happy to see him not tied down to code or orders. He’s also pretty good at this coffee thing. Sipping it now creates a warm spread.

“Mmm,” purring approval gets him going. 

Lusty clouds dot caramel cocoa, those same eclipses you notice each time kissing turns into heavy petting. Connor lets go of his pristine, intelligent personage while loving you. He takes breath away. Can only dream of how it will be when you two have sex. “Exact amount of cream. Connor, if you weren’t a detective you’d make a delectably hot barista.”

“Hey, hey, hey! Take your lovey dovey shit outside!”

Wrenching back from Connor’s warm, loving space is a good opportunity to roll eyes in disgust. You blatantly ignore the obnoxious entrance of Reed. “Be careful,” a little whisper floods your feelings. They always were like this for Connor but knowing he’s yours? It adds extra uneasiness.

He does not seem to be worried at all. That smile can light up the earth. He warms you like the sun.

“Androids are capable of avoiding unnecessary injury to biocomponents, Love. My model makes me quite effective.” Connor pulls at the threads holding your blissful laughter at bay. Poking gently, hoping to spill splendorous sound tinkling like china glass. Whenever you laugh the metal melts a bit more around his artificial heart.

You bless him with a diminutive giggle. All is right within his world then. It means everything he desires now. Deviancy opens gates, unleashing his true self. He-he wants to hold this forever along with your perfect form in his arms until the end of time.

“Gonna keep eye fucking or do your job tin can?!”

Connor’s smile snaps into a line. Drawing fingers against your waist as a silent disengagement and promise to remain safe, the prototype detective walks out of break room on a clear path to Gavin Reed.

The human detective yawns not worried. He snorts at the droid. “The fuck you looking at?”

“Opening your mouth to Detective Y/L/N will need proper adjustment,” Connor explains smoothly. “Would you like me to assist you, Detective Reed?”

Any jokes Gavin had on loop don’t make it past this plastic asshole’s balls. Getting in his face he must have a big pair of gonads! “Don’t think I haven’t forgotten your stunt in the evidence room motherfucker!”

“I’m sorry,” the prototype snipes sarcastically. “I suppose this concludes our bromance then.”

“You motherless piece of shit!”

Unfazed by the varying degrees of dirt that escapes Reed’s mouth, Connor takes a page out of Hank’s book as the lieutenant would say: “Do go fuck yourself, Detective Reed. I believe that will solve all of your problems.”

Gavin is too stunned to even harp back. That’s a first! Goddamn android saunters off like he’s some hot shot too. Anderson taught him this shit! He knows it! Well…he’ll get this prick back. Today.

“Uh, Connor?” Chris Miller’s eyebrows rise at the android. Coming in slopped up in mud and – that better be mud! “What happened to you?”

“I had a minor accident.” Explaining crisply, Connor’s perturbed affectation is due to his constant gathering of humanity. More simply put: he is pissed off. Holding up his arms did not lessen the entirety of this ruination. His jacket is completely soiled. 

“Just minor?” the officer snorts, returning to computer. “Wait til Hank sees this.” 

Ignoring Officer Miller’s amusement puts Connor on a path for locker room. A swift move that Gavin takes notice of. Removing feet off desk, Reed gets up casually before taking off in the same direction. Whistling on the way downstairs echoes in stairwell but Gavin shuts up by the time that prick could be in earshot. 

Jacket, jeans completely caked in mud, dirty liquid already seeps through white shirt. Jumping a fence into several pedestrians did not end well despite calculations. The thief in question decided to use collateral damage to slow his pursuit. Connor fell face first in a giant puddle of soggy dirt from last night’s rain shower. 

The android strips dirty clothing. Resting shoes atop bench they are remarkably unscathed. Obtaining a locker for himself is both beneficial and rewarding. He never imagined much need for it being an android. Hank was right this time. 

Connor smirks. Stepping out of aisle to enter shower stall he needs to rinse splatters of dirt from synthetic skin. 

Reed takes a peek now seeing the coast clear. “Let’s see you get out of here naked plastic prick.” Gavin proceeds to gather up the droids clothes intent on humiliating the bastard. This will stick it to him on a lesser note but he’ll sit back and laugh his ass off all the same. 

“What the hell did he fall in?!” Gavin holds the muddy pile away from himself. If he gets anything on this jacket he’ll kill somebody. 

      Wet tousled hair smoothes in a comb beneath Connor’s fingers returning to locker. He freezes, running a searchable scan. Where are his clothes? 

“Connor!?” 

Jolting around at your frantic voice floods indicator scarlet. Priming himself to jump into action and protect he steels his fluid stance. You are alone. There is no sign of any distress besides your rising heart rate. Oh.

The android peers down assessing his current absence of clothing. “Nothing to see here.”

Nothing to see? How about broad shoulders ripe for finger digging, clavicles made for flush kisses and a muscle toned body stark naked in the DPD locker room? Connor is absolutely wow. No, really. This is…what??? 

“Um, you’re fucking naked!” 

Raising eyebrows at your language does remind him of Hank. The android remains standing without sense to hide anything about his state of undress. Simply he gazes at you fondly and free of inhibitions. Obviously this is far too intimate. Even in a relationship your embarrassment is palpable. “Are you all right, Y/N?”

A breath escapes in poor answer. Frankly there is nothing to say without making a fool of yourself. It shouldn’t be this nerve wracking. After all you two have been together but not this far yet. 

Connor cocks his head with a tiny smile. Obviously it does not bother him. However, he does not wish for you to feel uncomfortable. “I apologize. Would you like me-?” 

“Connor.” Pressing a palm to his chest stills the entire world. Bare and chiseled just as his sharp cheekbones, sculpted jaw he is a beautiful statue. He’s an ancient work born out of Greece. Tall perfection making you weak in the knees fully clothed. Without you need to start fanning yourself before passing out. 

Keeping eyes up is difficult. You swallow. 

Your touch melts him into you, eyelids drifting in a flutter. His eyelashes are like snow kissing against yours when he leans in to overtake lips. Right now he quietly stands absorbing closeness. Somehow you think this vulnerability eases him and how can you complain?

Cyberlife be praised. They were good for something at least. You giggle. Reaching up to cup his face pulls his head to meet your level. 

Connor’s lips mimic yours touching softly at first. Arms thread to the warm curves of your body. Pulling you flush produces a shared groan into your mouths. His LED is ablaze, frame shuddering pleasurably into your figure. 

Ohhh. You can feel him pressing fully into your groin. 

“Connor.” Bracing hands against the android’s bare chest establishes more. This type of intimacy is new. Wanting it is a personal truth but down in the locker room of the DPD? 

“I realize we have not had this opportunity. Removing our clothes for one another.”

“No,” you agree quiet. “We-we haven’t.” 

“Does it bother you?” Worry replaces lust in your android lover. “If so I will-”

“Connor, nothing in the world involving you would ever make me uncomfortable. Besides, I love what I see.” 

The android grins crookedly. Sweeping you close to show you everything he will offer. His back collides with lockers allowing you power over him. It is a silent turn on for the android known for dominating in combat. 

Tender kisses raining over your lips as stardust. Connor is a star. He’s your star. Glowing forever in your heart and this is the only thing. 

“My Heart,” he whispers into the sweet crook of neck. His tongue traces skin tasting what he loves most in this world. 

A dangerous shiver causes a soft moan to slip. Tracing fingertips down his perfect torso creates a light shade of blue. Shimmering in a blush to synthetic skin, you gasp, smiling up at him. 

“What the fuck!” Reed nearly throws up finding you pressed up against that plastic shithead. Like he needs to see a human and android fucking! 

Wrenching back from your boyfriend leaves a serious problem. It’s pretty obvious since there’s nothing in the locker. You sneer already suspecting! “Get the hell out, Gavin! Better yet. Get Connor’s clothes you asshole!” 

The detective snorts. Crossing arms over his chest, he takes one good look at this fucking shit and doesn’t bother hiding disgust. Fucking androids. Now they’re over here stealing humans for themselves. What a joke. 

“Didn’t take the plastic prick’s shit.” Reed denies but pulls off a cocky smile. Let’s see you prove it. “What? You gotta problem with your robo boy’s package? Ain’t got one?” 

Connor sidesteps from behind you without care. He throws a hot glare onto the human.

“Ah, fuck!” Gavin turns his head. “You son of a bitch! I didn’t need to see your dick!” 

“Certainly were interested enough to bring it up though.” You sneer at the idiot. Can somebody fire this scumbag? “Does that answer your question? Oh, that’s right. You’re embarrassed. Because my boyfriend is obviously way bigger than your teeny pencil dick.” 

Honestly, you know this boy is nice. You saw with your own eyes. Accidentally but knowing what’s in store for later is nice. Better than nice. 

“What the fuck did you…?”

Connor moves in front of you purposely aware of Detective Reed’s disgust. That is why the android smiles.

Gavin throws in the towel. “Jesus Christ! Go ahead and fuck him down here if you want. I’m out!”

Saying there isn’t satisfaction in Reed squirming like the scummy worm he is would be lying. You did enjoy watching him lose it. The filthy comment out of his mouth is so expected at this point nothing phases. Not even Connor still naked as the day he was created. This vantage gives you a direct view of his toned ass. Talk about sculpted perfection.

“Connor.” Calling for him to turn around, averting eyes to save your life, you reach to snag onto his forearm. Bringing the nude android towards lockers the idea is simple. “Um, wait here. And I’ll find where that jackass took your clothes.”

“Y/N, wait.”

Catching onto your waist stills everything. His voice is uneven. Checking his LED it’s not crimson but amber. What is he thinking?

“Then you do not mind seeing all of me.” Hesitation poisons his statement. Part of him does not want the truth. If you do not believe he is worth you- “As this. As my true self?”

A gentle smile answers in place of words. What can be said that is good enough? He is everything in your world. Can that be enough? Of course it is. Love is whatever you want it to be. This is what you want it to be.

“I know your true self. This.” You rub fingers across his chest. Beneath synthetic skin it’s easy to know what he is but that is what you love. All of him no matter what others see.

You indulge firm hands resting on hips. Thankfully deviancy means being bolder. He’s still a cinnamon roll though. Cinnamon roll that can kill you but still fits. “I only see you, Connor. Skin, no skin why should that mean anything? When I love you?”

The android is flooded with readings. Listening, analyzing each hastened beat of heart radiating out of you. Those beats are erratically for – him.

Connor’s smile transcends beyond that cheap grimace that used to twist his mouth. This is bright. Vibrant in humanity, dimples and pride knowing he can have what he wants.

“My Heart,” he pledges an oath. “I love you too.”

That pet name is going to make you drop. Who knew androids could be this romantic? You clear your throat, pointing down but keeping eyes on his. “Want to put that away now?”

“Oh. Obviously.”

Tag List: @elydith  @your-taxidermy  @tropfenlady  @connorswink  @tommy-10-k

#connor rk800 x reader #connor x reader #dbh connor rk800 x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh rk800 x reader #dbh #detroit become human #spicy fluff #follower/reader appreciation request #get lost gavin #wanna talk shit #get hit #sammyreh request #part of the blue series

[iamcinema]

IAC Reviews #010: Blood Lake (1987) [Retrospective #2]

"...I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him...“

Over the years, I’ve been scowering the Internet trying to find the worst of the worst when it comes to horror movies. I guess you can call me a glutton for punishment in that regard since some movies need to be seen to be believed, rather than looked into as an example of what bad filmmaking looks like. Whether it’s a problem with the acting, the writing, the technical specs, or all of the above, you know you’re in for a good [or horrible] time if it checks one or more of those boxes. When it comes to bad horror movie lists, not just shot on video ones, one film in particular seems to rule them all as it’s hailed as one of the worst movies of all time, if not the worst horror film ever made. This time around, I’m making an ill-fated return to the Oklahoma to talk about Tim Boggs’ lone directorial credit, Blood Lake.

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Blood Lake tells the story about a group of friends who are being stalked by a mad man while on a weekend getaway trip at the lake. It’s not the most original concept out there, but hey, what else is new? It’s interesting that this is Boggs’ only attempt at being a filmmaker and the rest of his credits are attributed to being part of the sound department for notable films and shows like Lost Highway, Tales From the Crypt, Xena: Warrior Princess, The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, and Legion. That’s a hell of a resume, but that’s not what we’re here to really discuss.

I heard about the notority of this for years, and I decided to take the plunge with it nearly five years ago where I live reviewed it for Under the Morgue. Needless to say, I didn’t have fun with it and I don’t think I ever ripped into a film that hard up until that point. With the anniversary date of that review coming up, I thought it would be fair to do a retrospect on this to see if it really lives up to how genuinely atrocious I thought it was all those years ago.

Blood Lake in One Gif:

I think I need to lay down for this one. Do you know that feeling of nostalgia you get when you see, hear, or smell something that really takes you back to a better time? Well, whatever the antithisis to that is would describe the seething rage and horror I felt re-watching this.

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While it’s true that some movies need to be witnessed to truly understand how bad they are, it’s also fair to say that some things shouldn’t be known by mere mortals - and this absolutely applies to films like Ax’Em and Blood Lake. They’re as cut-and-dry and boring as they are in premise, and a train wreck of a travesty in execution at that.

The quality from a technical standpoint is pretty damn atrocious, particularly during some of the nighttime shots since it can be hard to tell what’s going on and it feels like you’re squinting the whole time trying to tell what you’re looking at. The sound is just as bad, though sometimes it fairs better than the visuals, even if a good chunk of the time you can’t tell what the hell anyone is saying because they’re either too far from the mic to be picked up or it’s a dialogue problem with everyone mumbling, talking over each other, or fumbling over their lines. IMDB says the sound was shot with a single shotgun microphone, and yeah...it kind of shows.

C’mon. Look at this and tell me you can figure out what the fuck all is going on.

The writing feels almost non-existent as Boggs encouraged the actors to paraphrase the dialogue in their own words to I guess make it feel more natural. However, with how clumsy things are, it’s hard to really tell how much was ad-libbed or done by the actors themselves. The total direction and set-up with the pacing is absolute garbage and some of the worst I’ve ever seen, as it’s padded out with gratuitously long shots of them doing things like “extreme” sports on the water or a scene of them drinking at a table that goes on for close to ten minutes. It feels like the director left the camera on a tripod and accidentally filmed their lunch break. People have said this feels like a glorified home movie, and I get why. I’ve ripped on Las Vegas Bloodbath for how bad the filler was during its third act; as well as the opening dance sequences and the yo mama jokes in the opening of Ax’Em for needlessly dragging things out, or even the flashback sequences in Nick Millard’s films - even if they don’t exist within the canon of the story. Hell, Sledgehammer does this too by slowing down scenes in order to pad it out to a 60 minute runtime after being told it was too short.

When it comes to the characters, they aren’t anything special and are mostly forgettable. With this camp, I designated them to one of two sides of the field; boring and awful. All of them I’ve mostly shoved over on the boring side, as they never really do anything noteworthy or special, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you their names off the top of my head for the most part. However, some of the guys do teeter on being awful and annoying as hell, but one character in particular stayed on the shit teir side of the spectrum from start to finish - which would be Tony.

Oh, god. Tony....

This guy right here. This motherfucker made watching this the first time around feel like a total chore. But the second time around, and willingly so, it was like pulling teeth to get me to finish.

I don’t mind weird, perverted, sleazy dickheads who show up now and again, but Tony is a special case because his entire shtick is being a weird creep to the point of giving off rapey vibes with the other guys over how his goal at the end of the weekend is to conquer some girl he goes to school with. Bro, you’re like twelve, shut the fuck up. It’s beyond cringe. It’s insufferable, and prior to this, I said over on Under the Morgue that Alan from Return to Sleepaway Camp was the most unsympathetic “protagonist” I had ever seen. But now, compared to him and the majority of the characters from Await Further Instructions, I don’t know who is the most grating to sit through - and I spent most of my time on that review talking about how the zero level of characterization makes it so hard to watch. In that review, I said I can appreciate a scummy character if they have any sort of secondary personality trait that makes you love to hate them, or at least makes them tolerable. With Tony, he’s just an annoying, pervy brat who I guess is about as comedic and charming as a trench foot infection.

It’s pretty damn rare that I see a movie where I root for the villain(s) from start to finish because I can’t stand the majority, if not all of the characters. So, having to recall how many times I wished Tony would have drowned within the first fifteen minutes or had a joint stubbed out in his damn eye has proved to be more enjoyable than the entirety of this shit show, since the only tail he should have been chasing was the tailpipe of the damn car he arrived in. I was honestly surprised we didn’t get any Summer Camp Nightmare moments given how much of a creep the twerp is, and I still am now.

The fact that this is called a slasher film feels like a cruel joke, since after the opening kill, the next murder doesn’t happen until close to the fifty minute mark in an 82 minute movie (78 minutes if you get rid of the credits). Plus, because of the abysmal quality, you can’t even see them clear enough to tell what’s happening. It’s so frustrating to feel like you’d get more out of the death scenes by closing your eyes the whole time. It’s up there with Ax’Em in terms of quality and how much it feels like they cheat you, which makes me wonder why bother at all if it’s possible you can’t even see what’s going on when you were editing the damn thing?

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So, here we are at the dreaded moment where I close this off with how I’d rate this. Is it as bad as I remember it being? Yes, if not more so. I had to pause and walk away from it for a bit to cool off and do something else because it was so tedious sit through.

It just goes on, and on, and on, which was only made worse by obnoxious characters that were a total hassle to put up with who could have been reduced to Douchebag #1, Generic Girl #2, and Rattail Motherfucker #1 based on how little they actually did to make me want to remember their names - and the ones who did were the most insufferable of the lot that I couldn’t forget them even if I wanted to. There’s little to no actual blood and gore, and with the very little there was, it was completely wasted in scenes that you can’t see clearly which is a damn shame because one of the kills could have had a decent reveal if it was shot better.

If I had to say just one good thing about the film to be generous, not counting that it had some kind of a reachable end, it was the mediocre soundtrack supplied by the band Voyager. It’s not good at all, but hey, if you like cheesy 80s horror soundtracks, there’s that going for it...I guess. With all that being said, I never want to see this disaster ever again. I’m trying to wrap my head around how people genuinely like this, even in a so bad it’s good type of way, and I just don’t get it. This, for me, is arguably one of the worst horror movies I’ve ever seen, and probably ever will.

RATING: 0.5/10

#blood lake #sov #sov horror #shot on video #shot on video horror #80's horror #80s horror #horror movie #horror movies #horror film #slasher #film #horror #movie review #film review #iac reviews

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #236

“so i asked you once, and i ask you again: where do your roots start, and where do your roots end?”

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Yeah, a Supernatural reference best friend one. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? I mean, it depends on the kind of advice and the seriousness of the issue. I'd say in most cases, yes. What’re you listening to right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been, twice. I don't think I'll do it again because my glasses are just in the way and they come out and get lost too easily. Is your last ex still someone you care about and do you still have romantic feelings for your ex? Yes to both. My feelings towards her haven't changed at all, we just made a heavily-discussed, hard, but wise decision for the time being. Are you someone’s best friend? Sara. What’s the biggest annoyance in your life right now? Annoyance, ummm... oh, easy. Being poor as dirt. That's only slightly under my skin, y'know? Have you spoken to your mother today? Yeah, I live with her. When was the last time you cried and why? PTSD. It's started to become relevant again, jOY to THe WOrlD!!!!!1!!!1!!!!! Is there someone who makes you instantly smile when you receive a message from them? I mean I don't always smile, but I consistently do get excited. If someone loved you right now, would you want them to tell you? *confused screaming* Do you like to cuddle? If I'm seriously romantically into you, yes. Is any part of you sad at all? I think that's always going to be a thing for me, somewhere down in there. Do you like seafood? Only shrimp, and even that I don't like in some forms. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? Idk. Do you ever worry that people might be talking about you behind your back? Always. Fuck, I think Sara's the only person I can count on to never. Do you call your partner ‘baby’? I hated it and never used it 'til Sara. I eventually did, and somehow, it felt okay and not disrespectful??? Idk if I'll use it again. What's the most boring guy’s name out there? Like, "Bob" or something. Do you know how to play Mahjong? Nope. Ever had a promise ring? No. What’s the biggest turn off in the opposite sex? Send me a dick pic and I will actually KICK you in the dick. Fun fact, even though I'm still bi, visually, penises gross me the fuck out and so I'd rather see someone's as little as possible, m'kay? Doing that is like a surefire way for me to decide "oh no bye boy." How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A whole lot. This time last year, were you single? No. Who is someone you’ll always hate? The doctor that put me on a medication that put around 100 pounds on me and blamed it aaaaaall on me. :^) Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yeah, just spelled differently. Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Sara. Do you ever read the threads on r/AskReddit? No. Are you currently stressed out about anything? You have no fucking idea. What’s your Instagram @? brittanymphotography or eldritch_obscura, depending on what kind of photography you're into. Don't have a personal one. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? It's so complicated. I think, but I also question the "in" love part. That and just "loving" are different to me. I want her, I want Jason, and here I am strictly monogamous. I barely understand what I feel romantically rn. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in? UM fuck that I'm calling the cops. Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing? Not really. How would you react if a friend started dating your ex? When "ex" is used singularly, I always assume you want The Ex. So, regardless of friend, that'd feel weird, but with certain people/levels of friendship, less so than others. If you were in an emergency, which friend would you call first? So not family? Uhhh, I don't know. It depends on the kind of emergency. Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single? No. Other than that "someone who wasn't single" being my partner. Are you single? if no who are you dating and for how long? Not right now, no. What kind of music do you listen to? Tons of different forms of metal, rock, indie, and I'm even into some electro stuff now. Do you have any YouTube videos of yourself? Thank the merciful lord, not anymore. What’s your fave YouTube video? BIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH the one featuring Dark in A Heist With Markiplier. I am not exaggerating my love of White Suit Dark. Use three words that best describe your best friend: Passionate, loyal, and resilient as a motherfucker. Now use three that best describe you: Also passionate, empathetic, and caring. List three things that describe your crush/love: Look I love someone but am also preoccupied with the idea of Jason coming back to me. It's not a "crush," it's being in love with a memory. I don't have a clue how to answer this rn. Is there someone in the family that no one really talks to? As far as extended family goes, yeah. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? N/A What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None; I have no games on it because my phone has incredibly small memory. Same. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? Well, define "unwell." I have a load of friends and family with mental disorders, but calling them "mentally unwell" seems too severe. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt, dude. There are so, SO many cats and dogs and I'm sure more that need a home, but you'd rather pay hundreds for a dog with likely some sort of health problem from extreme breeding than adopt an animal for a far cheaper price that ALREADY needs a family? Come on, now. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? I read Ozzy's autobiography. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? ???????????? no????????????? What name would you pick for yourself? Probably "Zoey." Do you enjoy going to live shows? Do concerts count? 'Cuz yeah. Who do you spend the most time with? My mom, I guess? She's the only one I live with, but she's like, never home because she works more than she breathes. What color do you wish your hair was? Natural hair, blonde. So much easier to dye, jc. Does any of the jewelry you wear have sentimental significance? The ring mentioned earlier, as well as the bracelet Sara also gave me. Who is your favorite drummer? Eh, no op Do you find musicians attractive? This is a dumb question... It depends on the musician??? If you could get any piercing, what would it be? I want a microdermal below/near the outer corner of my eye NOW. But I have glasses so it would totally ruin the purpose, ugh. Do you scream, yell, jump around and dance at shows or do you stand still? Just cheer, really. I wouldn't call it "screaming." I guess I can yell, too? Have you ever lost your voice from screaming so much? "No. I’ve had a sore throat." <<<< This. What’s your favorite color on the person you have feelings for? Both Sara and Jason, as well as like anyone, I love wearing black. Actually, Sara is super cute in light colors, like baby pink. Ugh talking about them at the same time feels fuckin weird. Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer? Alright, let's just say like, the "traditional" guys. I suppose Jason? His silence, totally casual pursuit, and mask creep me out, man. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving? When I myself am driving, I don't want music on. I can't concentrate. Are you willing to board airplanes? I've gone up to see Sara like... three times within two years, I think? They don't scare me too much. I don't like takeoff, though. Too rocky and dizzying. Do looks really matter to you when it comes to friendship? ??????????? what?????????? the fuck??????????????? Do you accept friend requests from people you don’t know? Nope. I have to not only know you, but care more about you than like the average acquaintance of whatever. What is one of your best talents? Writing, I guess? Are/were you a rebellious youth or angsty teen? ha ha oh BOY Do you put your change in a jar for savings? No. How do you feel about transvestites? BITCH y'all great. I love you. Fuckin ROCK YA SHIT. Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? Yes, actually. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Certain kinds of daydreams. Have you been in a fist fight with someone you didn’t want to fight? I've never had a physical fight. Has anyone ever convinced you to do something you didn’t want to? Sure. Usually for my own benefit/growth, though. Are you a sensitive person? Yeah, quite a bit. Do you enjoy writing? Yep. Are you a germ-o-phobe? YEAH. Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog? I would TOTALLY have a sphynx. There's this one breed of dog too and is furless on most places but does have some furry areas and are so ugly they're cute, and I once almost did adopt a hairless rat. So there's your answer. Do you prefer big, fluffy towels or normal sized/smaller towels? BIG FLUFF What is the image on your beach towel? Don't have one of those. Are you good with making eye contact? NO. I never know how long to maintain it and overthink it HEAVILY. I avoid it most of the time. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? Probably The Outsiders. I thought it did the book great justice. Do you like the movie or the book better? I don't remember either well enough. Do you watch porn? No. I don't want to watch some strangers bang each other. It's in no way arousing to me. What’s your favorite flavor of applesauce, if any? I guess just normal? Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? Nah. Are you diabetic? No. Are you allergic to gluten? No. I don't think I'd survive. Are you lactose intolerant? No. Do you live with your parents? Just my mom. Parents are divorced and Mom had full custody, and my two sisters are proper adults that can survive without their mommy. :^) How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? NOT A LOT!!!!!!!! I only count like, one damn job that was valid/lasted a couple months, but only because I very rarely worked. I also only include my previous online college, and should I create a resume now, obviously the one I currently attend. What’s your favorite song to dance to? I do not dance, my friend. What do you think of your parents? Both of them are great. Mom is the reason I'm (in the big picture) healthy, even alive. I WOULD be dead, died a long time ago, if it was not for that woman. Saved my life again and again and again, been there for me through both the same old shit and new madness. I'mma stop here before I actually cry just thinking about how thankful I am for her. Dad, too, I love, and I aspire to be as positive as he seems nowadays. His loyalty to my sisters and me, especially after the shit I've said, is incredible. He doesn't take a lot too seriously, and that's nice, especially when you're having a hard time. He's an optimistic guy now that always makes an effort to cheer you up. He's a total goof, too. He's just fun to be around. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? HA, fuck if I know. I guess my vertical lip labret stands out? Everyone I've dated since having it has at some point pointed out that that's like, my trademark that makes me recognizable right off the bat and that it looks good on me. One of the few things I even like on myself. Would more money make you happier? Look me right in the fucking eye and answer "no" to this. What is one of your favorite memories as a child? Watching my older sister play demo discs' video games after waking up. It's something so simple, but idk, I love remembering that. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Probably red velvet, like gd that shit good. Who is your favorite sports team? Idc. Like I have a natural fondness towards the Carolina Hurricanes 'cuz they're Dad's favorite and we've gone to some games together, but I really don't care. Who would you like to get to know better? I have this high school acquaintance named Courtlynn on my Facebook that seems so cool and relatable. She seems to like me too (not romantically, but she's really supportive, hearts like everything, comments the sweetest stuff sometimes, all that), I just think both of us are shy to reach out. What is the strangest food you ever ate? "I don’t eat anything I consider strange. I’m so picky and basic." <<<< Big 'ole fat same. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? I exclusively only eat pork fried rice and/or egg rolls. Are you an organ donor? YES!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE ONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED THEM ONCE UR DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LIVING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE SOME LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favorite candle scent? FRESH BAKED BREAD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? Check for identification and call if a number is given, offer it food and water, put a notification up on Facebook about a lost pet... all that stuff. We'd try to avoid a shelter, probably, because yeah. Euthanization is a thing. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? I am the one with the tongue piercing lmao. No. Is it easy for someone to make you cry? OH YES, QUITE. How many children can you see yourself having? IF I had kids, IF, I could not possibly imagine myself with more than two. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? SILENT HILL FUCK MAN I LOVE THAT SHIT. Are you competitive? Not really. Depends. Black and white or colored photos? It very much depends. Composition, lighting, content, all that contributes to what I find more aesthetically pleasing. Do you prefer to date younger, older, or the same age as you? Preferably around my age. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all? Being a depressed mess every waking moment of my life. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you wash your hair every day? No, every day is bad for your hair. Do you have trouble sticking to promises? Definitely not. I'm good at that. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Very briefly. She thought she was ready, but not quite. What kind of headphones do you have? Right now they're literally just flimsy hot pink earplugs from a dollar store lmao. How often do you go to parties? Never. Do you sleep in awkward positions? I don't think so. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? Not really. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Don't touch my tits with, like, anything. Do you ever quote your favorite movie in normal conversations? No? Do people ever tell you that you look stoned when you’re not? No. Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? *shrugs* why not both? Do hospitals freak you out? To a degree. Been there enough times to both get semi-used to it, but it also agitates old wounds and makes me antsy to get out. What about cemeteries at night? I've never experienced this, so I can't say. But the idea doesn't really creep me out, no. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I never had one. Were you mean as a little kid? Nah, I was a good kid actually.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Brendon’s P.O.V. : Chapter Thirty Three

“No. No. Fuck no. No, no, no. Over my dead fucking body. No.”

A vile feeling built up inside of me the second I caught sight of who Fury was leading into the room, and it was accompanied with a scowl and the clenching of my fists as I fought to hold back and not launch myself at the son of a bitch. He actually had the audacity to walk his sorry ass in here?

I turned to look at Fury.

And you had the audacity to let him walk his sorry ass in here? What the fuck?

“I have my reasons.” The Director bowed his head slightly and held up both hands.

“There is no fucking reason good enough to constitute this,” I hissed, scattily gesturing to the stupid piece of work accompanying Fury and paying extra attention to glare hatefully at him.

I actually can’t believe this.  

“Do not swear at me, Agent,” Fury retorted, face stern and voice as cold as ever.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I cast my gaze to the tiled floor and shook my head languidly.

No, fuck that. He messed with (Y/N).

“Actually, no. I’m not. With all due respect, sir, what the hell are you thinking?! He-”

“Like I said, Agent,” Fury clenched his jaw, “I have my reasons. And I would gladly appreciate it if you shut the hell up for ten seconds and let me convey them.”

Cold, hard silence was all I offered in response. I had an abundance of comebacks to his words, don’t get me wrong, but none of them were at all appropriate. So, I kept my mouth shut out of respect for my superior.

And out of marginal fear over losing my job.

“Fantastic,” with a sarcastic smile, Fury glanced over at the cockroach he’d let scurry in, rousing everyone else to do so as well. Fucking hell, I wanted to squash him. “Given recent events, I am well aware that his presence may seem a bit strange, but I wouldn’t have invited him to join us if I wasn’t one thousand percent sure that he had nothing to do with it.”

“He probably had everything to do with it,” I sneered under my breath; it was in a hushed tone, but he heard me nevertheless. Good. That’s great. He’s not welcome here, and I would make sure he knew it.

“I assure you that I had no involvement in any of it whatsoever,” his eyes darted over to her, standing cross-armed behind me, and his face lit up, “I would never do anything to endanger your life, (Y/N).”

She didn’t respond and I could feel the discomfort radiating off of her, so I stepped in front of her, blocking her from his view so that she wouldn’t have to look at him. I knew she didn’t want to.

“You don’t get to talk to her,” I reprimanded, staring him down with heated intensity.

Watch yourself, motherfucker, before I turn you into a fucking all you can eat human sushi-buffet.

“For the last time,” he huffed, readjusting the glasses set on his face, “I’m telling you that I had nothing to do with any of it.”

“For the last time, I’m telling you that I think you’re talking bullshit.”

“For the last time, everyone shut up and let me finish sayin’ what I gotta say!” Fury interjected, delivering a sharp glare at both of us. “Thank you. Now, I know that some of you won’t be on board with what I’m about to say,” Fury looked around the room at everyone else in it – (Y/N), Spencer, Hill, Corvey, Romanoff and Coulson – before setting his gaze on me and raising his brows, “especially you – but I’m counting on you all to trust my judgement.”

Damn straight I wasn’t on board with this. This was some bullshit! This bastard was the unfortunate offspring of the douchebag that’s hell-bent on annihilating (Y/N)’s life, and what, we were supposed to just welcome him with open arms? Not a fucking chance. Never. I would never trust him.

“Doctor Ross had nothing to do with any of the events that transpired over the past year, or any of the others before that – I am certain of that. S.H.I.E.L.D has kept a close eye on him ever since he made a name for himself, considering him to be a healthy alliance to have, should the need arise. And arise it has,” The Director spoke, hands clamped behind his back as he looked around our little group.

Seriously? What the fuck? Why is this happening? I can’t believe this, I really can’t. So Fury’s recruiting the children of terrorists now? Absolutely fucking lovely. Yay for diversity.

I glanced around the room at my silent co-workers and shook my head in disbelief at their non-existent refute. Was I the only one with a solid, logically working mind here?

“Sir, how can we trust him?” I all but sputtered, widening my eyes in desperation as I silently begged The Director to rethink his choice of consultants. “His father-“

“Is a piece of shit,” Fury interrupted, before looking at Ross and cocking one brow, “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” the demon-spawn held up one hand to show that it was indeed fine, “I concur.”

“Doctor Ross – this Doctor Ross – is anything but. He had no knowledge of his father’s involvement in Hydra,” Fury spoke, “In fact, he hasn’t spoken to his father in… how long?”

“Nine years.”

“Nine years,” Fury turned back to the group with a nod of his head.

“Bullshit,” I scoffed, pointing an accusatory finger at the doctor, “You were at the launch of his exhibit at the museum in Stuttgart.”

“Yes, I was,” he said exasperatedly, shoulders slumping – a visual indication of his growing irritation. Careful, dick, or I’ll dropkick your ass. “But no one other than the people in this room and a German museum attendant are aware of that fact.”

A collection of perplexed faces gazed at him – me included – and he sighed before beginning to elaborate.

“As mentioned, I haven’t seen, nor have I spoken to, my father in almost a decade. He and I…” he drew in a sharp breath as he shut his eyes for a moment; his next words clearly pained him to say. If only I cared. “We never really got along. He’s a remarkable intellectual, but he was an awful father. We’d fight a lot, him and I. Sometimes they were physical, but those weren’t the worst ones. My family are specialists at using their words as weapons, knowing exactly what to say to ensure that they cut the deepest wounds. And there was a lot of that between the two of us. I said some things, and he said a lot more things, until eventually I couldn’t handle it anymore. I left home when I was sixteen and haven’t been back since.”

Oh, boo-fricking-hoo. You’re not the only one with a tragic backstory. And yours is certainly the least tragic out of everyone in this room.

“Touching,” I mocked with a false curve of his lips, “But if you don’t mind, could you hurry your little pity-party up? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re fighting against the end of the world, here.”

His expression changed from that of a man mourning the loss of a relationship with his father, to that of a man ready to commit murder.

Or at least, that’s what I think it was supposed to look like. I struggled to swallow my laughter as I took him in. That’s what he called a glare? Please. He looked like a constipated penguin.

On second thought, maybe that wasn’t an accurate comparison. Penguins are cute. He is not.

I returned his glare – showing him how it should be done – and we engaged in a silent battle. Surprisingly, he didn’t back down as easily as I thought he would; I’d give him minimal props for that. But his stare wasn’t anywhere close to menacing enough to scare me off. In fact, there were very few things that could scare me off. I’d stared death right in the face multiple times. I’d faced some of the worst heartbreak imaginable. It would take a lot more than the “glare” of a nerdy pipsqueak to throw me off.

The longer we stayed like that, the more his demeanour faltered. I noticed his eyes twitch lightly. I hardened my stare.

Any second now.

He bit on the inside of his cheek. My stare hardened even more.

C’mon.

He broke eye contact and flickered his gaze to the floor momentarily before looking up again.

There it is.

He turned to look at the others and resumed speaking.

“I heard about his exhibition a few months prior to its opening in Stuttgart, from an associate. I hadn’t received an invite, of course, and at first, I was unbothered; my father and I were estranged – I hadn’t expected to be on the guest list. But then, it started eating away at me. The guilt. The sadness of the entire situation. My father is an extremely stubborn man, and very hard to get through to, but as I sat and thought back to the last words I said to him before I left that day nine years ago, I knew that I had to try.” He paused for a moment, and I took the opportunity to roll my eyes and make hand gestures that told him to hurry up; I got another fiery look as a response, but I shut it down with an icy one of my own, “I had tons of deliberation over the idea, but ultimately decided that I would be attending. So, I made a few calls to have my name put on the guest list – an alias, of course, and under the radar so as not to alert my father and his staff. Having said that, it brings me back to my earlier statement: no one other than the people in this room and a German museum attendant are aware of that fact that I was at that gala.”

“You said that you went with the purpose of talking to your father,” she piped up, prompting his head to snap in her direction; his eyes sparkled, and it was obvious that he was ecstatic over the fact that she had finally spoken to him, “I assume your previous sentence means that you didn’t?”

(Y/N), sweetheart… WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

He shook his head forlornly, looking down in shame. “No. I was going to; I was halfway up to his temporary office when I… I let my cowardice get the better of me, and turned left onto the balcony to catch a smoke, instead.”

Fucking coward.

“Figures,” I scoffed in amusement, prompting him to frown.

“Yeah, and I’m sure you have the perfect relationship with your father, don’t you?” he snapped.

“Never knew him, jackass.”

His eyes widened a bit in shock – he clearly hadn’t been expecting that – and he opened his mouth to reply but I cut him off.

I don’t need to hear anything more from him. Especially on that subject.

I crossed my arms and turned to The Director, “I still don’t trust him.”

“I don’t care,” Fury sassed back, “You’re not the person we need to trust him. (Y/N),” he leaned his body slightly to the side to look at her, “do you?”

She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as she deliberated – fuck, she looked so good when she did that – and glanced back at Fury, who was gazing at her expectantly. Then she turned to me, and I instantly shook my head, mentally yelling at her to say no and send the son of a bitch packing. I thought I’d convinced her, too, but then she looked at his goddamned face and her sympathy reflex kicked in. That’s the only logical reason I can think of as to why she said what she said next.

“Yeah. I do.”

~

“Sometimes I get the suspicion that you want to die.”

She tilted her head to look up at me as I entered the locker room, her hands continuing their work on lacing up her shoes. “Whatever do you mean?” she asked, innocently.

You know exactly what I mean, you beautiful fucking frustration.

“Don’t play dumb with me.”

“I know better than to try and play anything with you.”

Oof.

“I can’t believe you agreed to have Ross here,” I breathed as I took a seat next to her on the bench, shaking my head as I tried to understand her actions.

“I can’t believe that you can’t believe that I agreed to have Ross here,” she frowned, standing up and placing her hands on her hips, “He’s a valuable strength to have on our side, Bren. I thought you’d be smart enough to see that.”

Bren. She called me Bren. My entire life, I’ve hated being called that. The one and only person I’d allowed to call me that was Spencer, and that was by default; he’d always called me that just to piss me off, but over time it… well, it stuck, and it became an integral part of our friendship, in a way.

Still, that name was reserved for Spencer only. Hell, I didn’t even let them call me that. But spilling from her lips, it sounded so wonderfully angelic that all of my hatred towards it dissipated instantly.

I decided right then that she was allowed to call me that, too; I liked it now. Yes. I liked it.

Only when she said it.

If anyone else called me that, I would bury them alive.

“I get that he’s valuable, I do,” I assured, holding my hands out, “But value means nothing if we can’t trust him.”

“But we can trust him.”

“I-“

I didn’t get a chance to voice my comment, since she groaned loudly as she clamped her hands on each of my shoulders and leaned down so that we were eye-level.

Oh, so you’re taking control now? Ooookay.

“Brendon, relax. Fury personally gave clearance for Aaron to join us on this. That’s gotta count for something, no?” she quizzed, arching her brows.

She had a point there, I guess.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. “I just don’t want you to be surrounded by potential danger.”

“I’m always surrounded by potential danger,” she scoffed, laughing slightly. Her amusement did nothing to soothe my uneasiness; this wasn’t a joke. I creased my forehead. She brought her hands up higher so that they were settled just above my collarbones. “But that’s why I have you, so…”

“Mm, I suppose that’s true,” I murmured, lowering my gaze; it was then that I noticed the weapon and its holster attached to her hip, and I tensed up immediately. “Why are you suiting up?”

“Uh…” she looked down at the mission gear she was donning and furrowed her brows. “I mean, I could change back into what I was wearing earlier, but I hardly think that sweatpants are appropriate attire to wear while taking down a Hydra base.”

“You’re not going.”

“Yes, I am.”

My lips parted as I prepared to start an argument, but she wasn’t having any of it, and swiftly shut me down.

Damn.

“Nope. Don’t even try, ‘cause there’s nothing that any of you can do to stop me from going. You lied to me for months; the least you can do is let me join the mission to stop the people that murdered my parents.”

I attempted one last time to sequence the dispute further, but upon taking in her newfound confident attitude, I recognised that it would be pointless to even try.

“Alright, then,” I huffed, reluctantly shrugging off her hold on me as I stood up, “Just don’t-“

“Die,” she nodded, waving a dismissive hand as she turned to grab a comm for her ear, “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

S.H.I.E.L.D Quinjet, en route to Hydra’s base

Under normal circumstances, I would’ve been captaining this mission but since Spencer was the lone member of the team with inside knowledge on Hydra, it only made sense for him to assume the role of team leader for this particular mission.

Said team – namely myself, (Y/N), Spencer, Hill, Corvey, Natasha, Coulson and, excuse me while I throw up a little, Ross – were all on board the migrant jet, suited up and preparing for battle. A couple of additional jets with other agents that would be assisting were trailing closely behind us. It was inevitable that we would need backup at some point.

Coulson announced that the jet was approximately ten minutes out from the landing destination, and Spencer called for a final team briefing before everyone started to prepare for landing.

“Alright, let’s just go over the plan one more time…” Spencer spoke, proceeding to recap the strategy and each person’s role in it.

It had been outlined that I – supported by (Y/N), Spencer and Corvey – would lead a response team of agents in attacking the base from the front and providing a distraction so that the rest of them – sans Coulson, who would stay on the jet just in case the need for a premature getaway arose – could slip inside the base. Once inside, the remainder of the team – Hill, Ross (ugh) and Natasha – would set out to find and retrieve the Tesseract. It was a simple plan, not too complicated, and everyone was confident in their – and everyone else’s – abilities to carry it out successfully.

Yet, there was a knot in my stomach that wouldn’t go away.  

And then, after Spencer had finished speaking, and five minutes before landing, that fucker raised a hand in remonstration before turning the entire plan around one hundred and eighty degrees.

I wanted to fucking shoot him right then and there.

“Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but isn’t (Y/N) the only current inhabitant of this planet that is able to come into contact with the Tesseract and not disintegrate?”

Shut up. Shut your whore mouth.

“Er… yeah, she is,” Spencer answered with a confused tilt of his head, “Why?”

“Well, shouldn’t she be part of the team that is retrieving it? Since she’s the only one actually able to touch it. I mean,” Ross scoffed, extending his hands out at the rest of us, “how do any of us think we’re going to get it out of there? It doesn’t exactly come with oven mitts.”

I looked over at (Y/N) and saw her run her tongue along the inside of her cheek and shrug, looking at each of the team members in turn. “He has a point. Maybe I should be on the retrieval team.”

I swear to god I’m going to commit a fucking murder.

“Okay, no,” I stepped up, shaking his head vigorously, “I’m not even entirely comfortable with you being here in the first place; there’s no way I’m letting you out of my sight.”

“Then come with me.”

Anywhere.

“He can’t,” Spencer shot down her suggestion, “He’s leading the attack team.”

She sighed and relaxed her shoulders before turning to me. “Brendon, I’ll be fine.”

“(Y/N), I’m not leaving you alone with him,” I hissed through gritted teeth, tossing subtle side-eye at Ross, who pursed his lips in irritation.

Let’s see how well you can purse those lips after I punch you in the fucking mouth.

“I’m not gonna be alone with him,” she reminded, “Nat and Maria are gonna be there, too.”

I don’t trust him.

“Still.”

Exhaling heavily, she reached out to lightly squeeze my shoulder. “I can handle it. Trust me.”

“I do trust you,” I murmured, nodding lightly, “It’s him I don’t trust.”

“But I do.”

“Two minutes to landing,” Coulson called out from the pilot seat, prompting everyone other than her and I to strap in for impact.

“Bren…” she whispered as she gazed up at me, eyes silently pleading for me to give in.

Curse those gorgeous eyes.

“I need to keep you safe,” I reminded.  

“I know. I know you do. But I need to do this. I’m the only one who can.”

I knew she was right, and I knew that no matter how strongly against it I was, I had to give in. Frustratedly, I shut my eyes and gripped at my hair tightly, a soft groan escaping my throat.

Without so much as a second though, I reached out for her, one hand gripping her left arm as my other snaked around the side of her neck to cup the back of it and tug her towards me. She was noticeably caught off guard, gasping as the distance between the two of us got infinitely smaller.

Urie, stop. What the hell are you doing? You’re really gonna kiss her? Here? Now?

For a moment, I hesitated. That annoying as fuck little voice at the back of my head had a point. This was not how I’d wanted this to go; not the ‘perfect’ scenario I’d envisioned for us. Maybe I should back away before it’s too late.

Although, on the other hand, what if this opportunity never presents itself again?

You know what? Fuck it. If I was going to let her go in there with him, I needed to make sure that he knew exactly what he was dealing with, here. She was not for him to fantasize about, and I was about to make that wholly clear.

“One hundred seconds,” Coulson called out.

What I did next stunned everyone on the jet into silence.

The second my lips enveloped hers it was as if the world faded away. She consumed me completely.

And I loved it.

I didn’t kiss her slow, or amorously; in fact, I did the exact opposite, pulling her closer until I couldn’t anymore and kissing her with such ferocity that we almost toppled over. As our lips crushed together, I felt like I was walking on air. It was magic, the way her lips connected with mine. Her mouth was so warm, the caress of her lips softer than I could have imagined and I felt myself drowning in her essence.

When she kissed me back my brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body, sending shivers down my spine. The kiss obliterated every thought; the only thing that mattered in that moment was her. For the first time in forever, my mind was locked entirely in the present. The worries that had been plaguing me evaporated like a summer drizzle on a hot car.

I had no desire for the kiss to end.

A kiss like this was a beginning, a promise of much more to come.

And it was the purest form of ecstasy one could ever imagine.

Fuck, (Y/N), what have you done to me?

There was an exponential amount of urgency in my kiss, spearheaded by the fact that I wanted nothing more than to gather her up into my arms, carry her far away from all of this and never come back.

Somewhere in the heat of the kiss, her hands had glided up to my head, and now her slender fingers intertwined in my hair, pulling me closer, make me want more, more, more…

The ground started to feel like it was moving beneath us – literally – and I took that as a sign that we were close to running out of air. Drawing it out as long as I could, I broke the kiss. I made sure to maintain as close of a distance to her as possible, gripping her tight against my chest and pressing my forehead to hers.

“If anything goes wrong, call me immediately, okay?” I said softly, lightly squeezing the back of her neck.

I would die for her. I’d never been more serious about that than now. I’d give my life up for her if I had to, because now I knew that there was no fucking way I could live in a world where she didn’t exist.

The only thing I received in response was a weak nod.

I turned to look at Ross, my entire demeanour shifting once again as I locked gazes with the bastard.

“If anything happens to her,” I started, the threat evident in my voice and in the way I made sure to harden my face, “If she comes back with so much as a scratch, I swear to God-“

“You’ll kill me. Yes, you’ve previously made that quite clear,” he cleared his throat, looking down and adjusting his utility belt before lifting his head to look at me again, “Don’t fret, agent. She’s safe with me.”

I want to run you over with my car.

“Thirty seconds,” Coulson called; I could hear the tinge of awkwardness in his tone, and feel it radiating off of the other team members, but I didn’t care. And from the look on (Y/N)’s face, neither did she.

Ha.

I twirled my head back to focus on her, and leaned down again.

“Be safe,” I mumbled as my lips ghosted over hers, making my flesh break out in goosebumps.

“You too,” she breathed, leaning up to press her lips to mine for a millisecond.

Don’t stop doing that. Please don’t ever stop doing that.

“Agents,” Coulson announced, “we’ve arrived.”

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

#brendon urie #brendon urie x reader #bodyguard!brendon #bodyguard #marvel #patd #p!atd #panic at the disco #panic! at the disco #emo #music #band #bands #band members #band imagines #band member imagine #emo trinity #emo quartet #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction

[journalxxx]

Rerun

Inspired by @steampunch​‘s breathtaking art

The images on the screen are surprisingly clean and vivid, the sound of laughters and broken branches unexpectedly crisp and sharp. Each reel was packed and sealed very carefully, but Ford wouldn't have guessed they would have aged so well. They've withstood the test of time much better than the both of them, which, he supposes, is the exact purpose of such keepsakes. He doesn't watch them, though. He can barely remember the content of the tapes, but they hold very little interest compared to the fact that Stan's jokes and questions have gradually lessened, that his eyes are now glued to the screen as if the very essence of the universe was pictured on it. His own largely is, probably.

Bless the visual arts. Three nights of detailed tales and heartfelt apologies didn't so much as spark the barest hint of recollection on Stan's part, yet a handful of pictures from a child's scrapbook and few minutes of haphazard recording are proving miraculous. Ford observes his brother's features with trepidation, the deep shadows cast by the projector giving him an even more serious and profound appearance. This is it, he can tell. He hopes.

The reel stops with an abrupt snap. Stan blinks, glancing around himself as if suddenly awoken from a dream. He rubs his hand on his eyes for a moment.

"...Damn. Sorry, can we rewatch the last part? I spaced out a bit." "Of course." Ford stands up and starts fiddling with the projector, rewinding roughly half of the tape. He bides his time with the equipment, and with his questions. He sits back on his chair as two overly energetic kids are about to earn themselves a semi-permanent banishment from the family shop. "Where did you say you found these?" "In my private study. I don't quite know how they ended up down there, but I do remember having them sent here from home. I guess I did move around some stuff at some point..." Stan keeps staring at the screen thoughtfully, slouching slightly to the side of the armchair, his hand holding his right cheek. A frown crosses his features, but only for a moment. "...Right. The second underground floor. I could never get past that fancy lock. But the backdoor to the emergency stairs was a child's play. I can't believe the gnomes never found a way in." There's his answer. Relief washes over him slowly, almost a physical weight settling in his stomach and crawling up his spine. It pervades him so deeply that it feels almost unpleasant. Stan shoots him a small, satisfied smirk, and Ford can only smile in return. "I set up a couple of magic deterrents back in the day. You got in?" "'Course I did. I turned the whole house upside down while I was searching for anything that could help me fix that mess in the basement. I couldn't make sense of anything I found down there though, not even the giant computer. Goddamn codes and passwords everywhere." The precarious Fort Stan on the screen collapses loudly, catching their attention again. An abrupt cut spares them their father's decidedly unimpressed reaction to their filming ambitions, and the setting switches back to the great outdoors. Stan's expression shifts again, to one Ford doesn't quite know how to interpret. "I found these, I think. I checked one, but I didn't... Well, they weren't going to help me with the nerd work. I put them back where I found them." Ford considers the screen for a moment, realizing he himself has no memory of that specific sequence. He remembers asking for the reels, when his mother had decided to toss away some of their old stuff. He remembers the thought of the tapes being destroyed feeling vaguely unpleasant, he remembers packing them adequately for when he would have time to watch them. For later. "...I never watched them either." Silence stretches between them, way more meaningful than all the inane chatter and one-sided conversations of the last few days. Stan sighs deeply, and Ford squeezes his arm gently. "...Are you all right?" "Yeah, yeah." "If you're tired, we can call it a day and-" "No, really, I'm fine. It's just- it's just..." Stan's gaze drops to Ford's hand and he stares at it intently, as if trying to gauge the right word from Ford's knuckles. "...Nuts." "That's putting it mildly." Stan smiles, and falls silent again. He is strangely pensive, strangely quiet and cautious, much unlike his normal boisterous character and even his easy-going and carefree amnesiac self. Of this third, probably temporary iteration of his brother Ford knows nothing, and he has absolutely no idea how to handle it. "Stan... I know I've been nothing but spitefully secretive about everything since I came back. About myself, about my plans, about Bill- and God knows how much damage that caused. But if there's anything you need to know... Anything you want to ask..." "No, not ask... but I do have something to say." He frowns, picking an invisible speck of dust off Ford's sleeve. "And do. Before it slips my mind." That is a loaded introduction if Ford's ever heard one, so he waits. Stan slightly leans forward, then he pauses, a shadow of uncertainty crossing his features, then he leans forward again. He doesn't stop. His lips land on his brother's, his breath tickles his cheeks, and Ford's mind goes completely blank. The first emotion emerging from the void is utter dread. Because Ford cannot possibly fathom what may have spurred such an action, so it must be some sort of mistake, some tragic inconsistency or misplaced attachment in his brother's memory, a positively catastrophic one. He tries to inch back from him, but Stan's arm slips from his grasp to hold him by the side of his head. Ford's mouth opens imperceptibly in surprise, and suddenly he's acutely aware of his brother's thumb tracing his cheekbone, slowly tickling his sideburn, of his palm brushing the shell of his ear, of his fingers tangling in his hair and curving on his nape. Stan's lips caress Ford with a gentleness that he's never experienced before, with his brother or with anyone else, and with a deliberate tranquillity that subdues any objection. It's over before Ford can recover properly. Stan leans back just a bit to look at him, still gripping Ford's head firmly, only slightly flushed and holding his gaze steadily. "I..." Ford gulps. Each word feels like a round of Russian roulette, ready to blow both their brains out. "I think... this is a serious misunderstanding." "You think, uh? Figures, I should have started with the other thing. But that 's been... a long time coming." "What... Stanley, what on earth-" "Shut up and listen, Poindexter. Carefully." The hand on Ford's nape becomes heavier. The grip on the back of his neck suddenly feels way more like a vise, and Stan brings their heads closer again. Their foreheads bump. Hard. Painfully. "You motherfucking bastard." Ford blinks. His doubts on Stan's coherency and sanity have skyrocketed in the last sixty seconds, but he has no opportunity to express them. "To make it quick. I'm not going to rub in your face the ungodly amount of utter bullshit that you spew on mine thirty years ago, but don't think I don't remember. Don't think for a second that I don't remember." He can feel Stan's nails digging slightly in his nape, their glasses tinkling uncomfortably against one another, his brother's steely tone digging in his chest like a knife. "I'm not going to question your right to complain about the state of the house as if it was a deconsacrated temple- my house, as much as it is yours - or to burn my merchandise, or to disparage three decades' worth of work to bring your sorry ass out of Sci-Fi Land. I'm not so stupid that I can't see your point in those matters. A cheap, selfish, haughty point, but a point nonetheless." "I-" "What I do question-" Stan's jaw sets at a sharper angle, a tight grimace twists his features "- is how much of a petty, self-absorbed prick one must be to greet his own brother after thirty whole years with a punch on the face. A punch. On the face. And insults. And a full-fledged eviction notice." "No, listen." Ford's head snaps up, nudging the other to earn himself enough leeway to look at him. "I told you, I'm- believe me, I'm truly sorry about that. I had just come back, the house was-" "I know what you said and for God's sake, shut up. This is nothing, this is childish, obnoxious, irrelevant crap- nothing compared to dragging a couple of kids - my niece and nephew, your niece and nephew- into your personal holy crusade against a psychopathic, mind-controlling monster. They could have died, Ford. They could have gone mad. I may have done a lousy job at protecting them from all this myself, but at least I tried. At least I tried." "...I know. That... I know. You-" "Stanford. Shut. Up." Stan finally loosens his grasp and raises his head to meet Ford's eyes. He doesn't look as furious as Ford was expecting. He doesn't look angry at all, in fact. He looks dejected, tired. Sad. "I know that you know, and that you're sorry. I know what you told me. The problem is, you told me yesterday, and the day before that. You told me when I didn't even know what the hell you were talking about, you gave me your apologies when I didn't even know I deserved any. And that - as sincere as you may have been - is cowardly as fuck. Wonderfully refreshing for your conscience, I bet, but completely meaningless for me, because I couldn't talk back." The logic is flawless. It's his turn not to talk back, so he doesn't. Stan's expression grows softer. "So. We're doing this all over again. We're talking again about all this, so that you can deliver your apologies properly. And... have some of mine as well. And we're talking to the kids too, of course. They deserve it more than the both of us." Ford nods and instictively glances at the clock. Stan follows his gaze and shakes his head. "Not now. God, not now, I barely even know how old I am. And you look ready to stab yourself with an ice pick." Stan is still holding him, but Ford finds that it doesn't feel as if he's about to snap his neck any more, so he can lean back to a reasonable degree. Ford sighs tiredly, scratching his own knee nervously. "Well, you are right. About... basically all of it. I... I know it doesn't mean much like this, but... I really am sorry. For everything." "I know. I heard you the first ten times you said it, but... Hell, don't give me that look, I refuse to console you. You had that coming." Stan pinches the bridge of his nose, his whole face scrunching up. "Don't go moping around like that, you'll worry the kids. I just... needed to get all that out of my system." Ford considers his brother's words for a moment, his thought dwelling on a short but very prominent part of the evening. "...All of that?" "Yeah. All of that." Now that expression, Ford recognises. He's seen that purposefully casual, undisclosing demeanour countless times from countless hardened gamblers on Lottocron Nine. And apparently three nights in a smelly cell and a forceful ejection from the dimension's finest establishment still haven't taught him that not all bluffs should be called out. "...Is there anything else I need to hear?" Stan snorts. "Yeah. You're a stuck-up, insufferable, pushy smartass." "...I see." "A callous, unfeeling, smug cock." "I'm... glad this nasty incident hasn't impaired your vocabulary." "A remorseless, ungrateful, stubborn son of a bitch." "We still have the same mother, you know." "Are you seriously-" The reel snaps loudly as it stops. They both stare at the bright, white screen for a moment. "Dammit. I can't get to see the end of this thing." "Shall I rewind it again?" "Nah, maybe another time. Put on the next one." Stan lays back comfortably on his armchair and his hand finally withdraws from Ford's neck, slipping off his shoulder. Slowly, lightly. Almost like a caress. "And grab more popcorn while you're at it."

#stancest

[ruffoverthinksthings]

God Help The Outcasts (Part 2): The Monster

“Jesus Christ, you’re an even uglier motherfucker in person than you are on TV!” is Claudine’s first reaction to meeting Quasimodo in person.

Quasimodo’s reply to that is to smile, and say, “Yeah, the make-up artists here in Auradon are real miracle workers.”

Claudine is initially incredibly distrustful of Quasimodo, both for his physical appearance (“the uglier the mug, the meaner the motherfucker” is a very reliable rule of thumb on the Isle), and how Frollo framed him as someone who would “betray those who cared and loved him for years, all for the sake of a demonic temptress who poisoned his mind, clouding it with lust and sweet lies.”

(“Did you even understand all the claims he was making? As in, knew the meaning of all the words he was throwing about?” Esmeralda thought of asking once.

“Hell no, but it sounded confusing and terrifying, a combination you learn to fear pretty quick,” Claudine replied.)

It doesn’t help that, as a break from his usual work of being a paid public speaker and a frequent accomplice of Esmeralda in all her political activities, he’s taking the time to help Claudine and the “Third Wave” VKs adjust to life in Auradon.

This entails both being their Remedial Goodness Teacher (filling all the desks in a class with only one teacher is a never-fail recipe for trouble), and being their legal guardian, as Ben already has his hands full being legally responsible for the Rotten Four, plus Freddie, CJ, and Zevon.

(In the case of the latter two, they’re on parole, or under a special manhunt lead by Ben.)

Because of the prior successes of the first two waves of VKs brought over to Auradon, the Third Wave is a LOT more expansive, requiring both good attendance, keeping up a certain grade point average, and “(Relatively) Good Behaviour” in Auradon Prep, alongside participating in at least one after-school activity that forces them to interact with, help, and try to integrate with the larger community outside the walls of the school.

Because she has experience talking to people, is one of the most well-spoken and literate of the VKs, and is one of the most conventionally attractive next to Evie, Claudine often ends up as the representative of the VKs alongside Quasimodo, being the one to shake hands and smile for the camera, sit in at meetings beside him, and be the speaker for all of her fellow VKs.

This all actually goes well and good for the first two weeks, when the media has eyes, interest, and most importantly, cameras and live feeds on the various programs, everyone doing their damndest to give the best shots they can and show that the VKs and the residents of Auradon ARE playing nice with each other, and can get along.

It all steadily starts to collapse as the media moves back to adorable puppies and kittens, the exploits of romantic couples from the non-royal classes going through their respective movie-esque adventures as their relationships develop, and the less serious and very topical, frivolous political scandals going on about Auradon.

(“Breaking News: The Quarterly Lace and Silk Union’s Meeting In Jeopardy as Organizers Unable to Decide What Colour the Linens Should Be!”)

Claudine steadily starts to see the ugliness and the plasticity behind Auradon’s sunny, happy facade, realizes that so many of these people are suffering just as much as the people on the Isle just in completely different ways, and gets absolutely disgusted by how willfully ignorant they are or how even they, the oppressed and suffering, decide to play it off as “complaining too much about nothing,” to outright encouraging them to just accept it as a part of their life, and that they should even be thankful for the fact that it is incredibly difficult for them and their children to get off the farm and into higher education.

“Just think of what Auradon would be like if we didn’t have you and our families tilling the fields, pouring all our love and hard work into growing the food on everyone’s tables!”

It doesn’t disgust her just yet to positive action, as it just reinforces her belief that the world is a completely shallow, awful, judgmental place where everyone’s lying to everyone, sunny smiles and good behaviour are only for not getting thrown onto the Isle or suffering Maleficent’s wrath; people talk bad about you behind your back all the time; and beauty really is only skin deep as she meets plenty of attractive people just as petty and ugly as she is on the inside.

“The only difference between us is, I’ll happily admit I’m a bitch, they keep on believing they’re perfect little angels who can do no wrong.”

It bothers her even more that Quasimodo is still so incredibly nice and kind in the face of all this plasticity and insults, the odd mean-spirited joke or unintentional insensitivity as these past two decades have done him no favours.

He never gets angry, he ignores them, and like with Claudine’s first meeting, he joins in with the joking at his expense.

Meanwhile, Claudine is constantly firing jabs back, spends quite a lot of time on her new phone thinking up the worst and most vicious burns to her various “Pharisees” both online and offline, and happily “flies her bitch flag high” because it means she’s not hypocritical like they are.

It all comes to a head when during a speech at a big community event at a Christian church, an ill-timed joke from the MC and a sleepless night spent in Flitter wars combine, and Claudine explodes in a flood of vitriol and hatred, teaching many young children and AKs an entire dictionary’s worth of “colourful language” before giving them a handful of visual references for rude gestures before the Royal Guard finally succeed in hauling her off the stage.

(As with my fanfic Reunions, hauling away an actor, and hauling away an actual violent, angry, and dangerous individual are two VERY different things.)

Fittingly enough, Claudine and Quasimodo end up locked together in the office of the priest.

“I’m not apologizing for anything I said back there, if that’s what you’re going to ask me to do,” Claudine asks as she perches on the desk.

“Is this the kind of person you want to be, Claudine?” Quasimodo asks quietly.

“No, as a matter of fact, I didn’t want to be the daughter of holier than thou horndog, only here because your new king wanted to do something different,” Claudine snaps.

“I don’t mean your past, Claudine,” Quasimodo said. “I mean now, and your future—do you always want to be like what other people think you are, a ‘bitch’?”

“To be fair, it seems to be as set in stone for them as the original Ten Commandments! Don’t want to make so many people look stupid by proving their stupid-ass biases dead wrong, wouldn’t I? That’d be mean!”

“This is your chance to turn to ‘Good,’ Claudine!” Quasimodo cries. Quietly, he adds, “Please, don’t waste it—you may not ever get another chance.”

Claudine scowls as her hands ball into fists and shake once more. “I have tried ‘Good’ before, alright? I spent the first ten years of my life, doing everything I could to be the most saintly person I could be on that hellhole on the Isle.

“And what did it get me?

“A father that stopped loving me the moment Mother Nature signed me up for a monthly subscription to Satan’s Waterfall. Getting humiliated, bullied, and shunned by pretty much everyone but the crazies in my father’s congregation. Did what every ‘Good Christian’ should and tried to turn someone to the light, and ended up almost getting burned alive for it.

“And I only got out of that fire because of all the exercise I had climbing up and back down those fucking bell towers, each and every single day, like a Good Little Christian Girl.”

“I am done, trying to be good, alright…?” Claudine said, raising a shaking finger at Quasimodo. “All the ‘good’ trying to be ‘good for goodness sake’ has brought me is a super-sized personal hell in a handbasket.”

“Auradon is different,” Quasimodo said. “Believe me: they’ll come around, you just have to try.”

“And what in the hell am I supposed do to try and change these people’s minds?!”

“You act good, and you try not to do evil, until they realize they were wrong.”

“So what, I’m just supposed not deck someone for talking smack about me right in front of my face, let them humiliate me like the Pharisees did JC, before they rile everyone up, put me through a phony trial, and convince the masses to nail me to a fucking cross?!”

Quasimodo nodded. “Yes. But without the crucifixion part.”

“This fucking sucks!” Claudine cries as she throws her hands up in the air. “I’m the victim here, they’re the ones at fault for letting the Isle exist in the first place—hell, they were probably the people that probably voted ‘Aye’ as soon as the question came up!

“How come I have to bust my ass trying to prove I’m not a hell-raising, home-wrecking, 2nd-Deadly-Sin-Tempting succubus when they’re the ones that made me who I was in the first place?!”

Quasimodo shrugged. “I’m sorry, Claudine, that’s just how the world works,” he says sadly. “But, if it worked for someone like me”--he gestured to his face--”it’ll work for you, right…?”

Claudine stared at him, before she dropped her hands, and a look of pure, absolute hopelessness coming over her face. “You know what? Fuck it,” she says, all the bite and the sarcasm gone from her voice—now, she just sounds tired. “Fuck it, fuck this whole ‘Villain Kid Rescue and Reformation’ Program, send my apologies to Big Ben, I’m fucking done.”

Quasimodo got up and walked over to her. “Claudine, you can’t just quit now--”

“And why shouldn’t I?!” Claudine cries, her voice choked, her eyes watering. “Why shouldn’t I quit when there isn’t a light at the end of this fucking tunnel, it’s just a giant ‘Maybe’?! What’s gonna happen if no one changes their mind, huh? What’s gonna happen to me, when I bust my ass and give everything I have trying to be ‘Good’ again, but it just turns out once more that my all just wasn’t good enough?!”

Tears started streaming down her cheeks. “What will I have, when I have nothing left to give, I have nowhere to turn to, and have no one but myself…?” she whispered.

Quasimodo smiled and opened his arms. “You’ll have me,” he said softly. “And Esmeralda. And Madellaine, and Phoebus, and Zephyr, and Ben, and all the other people here in Auradon who want you to stay, who will stand by your side, who believe—no, who know you’re not like your father, at all!

“Claudine… you’re not a monster… you’re a person, just like me.”

Claudine just stares at him, eyes blurred and red from crying, hiccuping and sniffling from the snot clogging her nose.

“Do you need a hug?” Quasimodo asked.

Claudine lunges for him and wraps her arms tight around him. As she buries her face into his shoulder, she shouts, “Don’t tell anyone about this, or you’re dead, you hear me? Dead!”

Quasimodo just smiles and hugs her right back.

“I won’t,” he says. “I promise.”

#god help the outcasts #Disney #descendants #headcanon

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 53 - CAR - Chasing Two

We meet again, Canes of Carolina. Your 53 is our 53 now as we meet for the 53rd game of the season. We already did playoff trash talk for the Canes but I got a feeling there will be more coming down the stretch here. Why do we hate the Hurricanes so much right now? The Skinner stuff is behind us and I suspect his extension will soon be as well. It’s probably the gull of a team as consistently bad as Carolina, perhaps longer than Buffalo has been bad, deciding this is the season to get in our fucking way. Unless one of Pittsburgh, Boston or Montreal hits the skids real hard down the stretch it’s you, me and Columbus for the one wildcard spot left in the East. So fuck you Carolina: this Sabres team has been shit for a solid two months straight but whatever hope I can muster that they still got a chance at the playoffs this year I will sharpen into a fine shiv and run into this cage match with. That hope could have died tonight. For some of you reading this it may have. This game was about chasing two straight wins – two straight wins which would be this club’s first two wins in a row since December. Perhaps they ultimately didn’t get there because they were doing too much chasing so to speak. But what occurred last night was not the performance of a club accepting its fate and tapping out of the playoff race. What happened last night was enough to make the Spartans at Thermopylae proud. Sure, once you explained ice hockey to them and they observed it long enough to understand what being good at it looks like they may have had some thoughts on the Sabres first period and most of their third; but CHIN UP I say to you! Chin up because this Sabres club is not going down without a fight! Honey, we’re going down swinging!  

The Carolina Hurricanes came out shooting like lax southern gun laws to start the first: every puck that a Sabre was not on was scooped up by Hurricane and blown into the zone closest to Linus Ullmark (Thanks Coach, I knew you would make the right goalie decision). The Canes did what any team who watches this Buffalo club knows is the Sabres biggest weakness as of late: turnovers, unforced and not. The team from south of the Mason-Dixon Line capitalized in this brutal stretch when North Carolina’s favorite soft boy Sebastian Aho served up the juiciest pass from behind the net to a streaking Justin Faulk. Ullmark couldn’t get to the other post in time and Faulk buried it. Well beach bodies: up here in New York we got this thing called ice, the game is actually played on it. What followed shortly after the Faulk goal was a penalty on definitely-moonlighting-as-a-vampire Jaccob Slavin which led to a powerplay for the home team that froze Carolina up like a Buffalo Ice Storm. The powerplay was fruitless but the Sabres poured shots on Curtis McElhinney for the rest of the period. Teuvo Teravainen tallied a second goal for Carolina early in the second period. At this point in the night I’m listening to the game on the radio driving up the 190. WGR 550 has these musical interludes as the broadcast returns from break and at this 2-0 dire moment in the second period one of those interludes was a section of “Slide” by Goo Goo Dolls. My throat got real dry and I shed a tear. Is it because I’m an emotional wreck paying attention to the Sabres these days? NO! But a good guess. NO, it’s because I visualized the playoffs like Jack tells us to and I felt it slipping away! But then what happened? Jack’s team came back.

HUT HUT, FIND A HOLE! The McElhinney wall has to come down! FIND A HOLE! Ristolainen from the line: save; puck to Conor Sheary in front: save; puck to Evan Rodriguez who holds and sweeps that puck into the hole like the beautiful Canadian Sniper he is! Now the Canes really froze up like they’d never seen ice before because seven minutes later resident Dad-Bod Jason Pominville collected his own rebound and tapped an equalizer past McElhinney. Tie game you fair weather mother fuckers! Believe it or not it’s hot here for a couple months in each year and you know what I spend that time doing? Oh, not going to the playoffs? You’re funny: you’re a real piece of work for giving more of a shit about NASCAR than the variable 1970s strong man competition of a gun show y’all have for a lineup! Oh, but when hockey players clap a little and slide down the ice into the goal like it’s a slip-and-slide after wins all you guys come running to the arena! I hope y’all don’t make the playoffs just because you’re a bunch of fucking ungrateful slow talkers who like Duke! The game was tied! It was tied going into the third! And then what happened? Well: a relative menagerie of frat-boy-looking Hurricanes capitalized on the Sabres doing Sabres things like turning over the puck and chasing it around like they’re fishing catch-and-release! First it was wrestling team captain and beer-pong champion of the Carolinas Greg McKegg who polished in a loose puck behind Ullmark after being giving ten fucking years to put it in and still bounced it off the post! Then Jeff Skinner had a fucking hulk moment and realized the profundity of the situation he was in and flew off on a breakaway to guide the puck in like a clumsy baby giraffe. Oh no, I know it was art. Please sign soon, Jeff.

Stop those warm feelings for sweet sweet Jeffery because Fergus, Ontario’s High School Quarterback and favorite ginger son Brock McGinn cleaned up a Jordan Martinook rebound right in front of Ullmark to get the visitors ahead 4-3. Do they even have American Football in small town Ontario? Whatever because here comes the President of the punchable face club Nino Niederreiter to capitalize on the powerplay and put the Canes up 5-3 with five minutes left in regulation. Now here is really the moment when I realized this team isn’t going down without a fight: down by two goals (again, which is a concerning problem all its own) this team did not quit. Jeff Skinner emerged from the box beaten but not defeated. But before he gets his time against his former team it’s time for irony to a drop kick you in the balls. Marco Scandella, in a move that will certainly earn him starts for the rest of the season over far more deserving defensemen, gets the puck from Sam Reinhart and shoots low. The puck went in and it was a one goal game now. Irony has a name and it is Marco Scandella. Perhaps it was too late as time now ticked into the double digits in regulation with the Sabres down by one. Guess who you butter-binging, Trump-voting motherfuckers: JEFF MOTHER FUCKING SKINNER! Collect the puck, toe drag, bender: tie Game! It’s like the third act of fucking Miracle beating the team in the red jersey! There was 56 seconds left on the clock! This one goes to OT. And there, well there Teuvo Teravainen streaks into the Sabres defensive zone 2-on-0 and dekes out Ullmark for the game winner. That’s the way the cookie crumbles in this league: one good rush in OT and it’s all over. Carolina wins 6-5.

The Chase for Two straight wins falls flat; but you know what didn’t fall flat? Yea, the Buffalo Sabres. Yeah, they really stunk up most of the third and looked like they were playing hot potato with the puck for most of the first but you know what: that was one hell of a comeback, two if we’re counting game deficits here. Imagine Jeff Skinner pots the OT winner for a hat trick and the Sabres get two points out of this game instead of just one. It’s a whole different conversation then, isn’t it? I’m not rationalizing the many mistakes or playing the what-if game. I’m calling the glass half full and I don’t know about you but I’m not holding my breath tomorrow waiting for Jason Botterill to make a trade as if 95% of the trades he could reasonably make would have any effect on this team down the stretch. We got what we got right now folks and trust me; I am dying for the playoffs too. What happened last night was not nothing and we didn’t get nothing for it either. Carolina, you better watch your back because we’re breathing down it and every game between now and March 16th is going to be an assault on your chances to take that spot from Columbus. The Sabres can certainly get three points out of this weekend’s two matchups and Carolina only has one game in that same stretch so there’s a scenario where we’re sitting here Monday morning and the Sabres are 1 point back of that playoff spot and ahead of Carolina again. Yea, I’m not broken yet and neither should you be. Honey, we’re going down swinging.

Of course everyone in the locker room is going to be disappointed with that result and that emotion is good even if Savior Sam is misdirecting it at Ullmark. Phil Housley was the only postgame interview I was at all embarrassed by. He’s the one misusing players out the wazoo and throwing forward line combinations at Velcro board and seeing what sticks. Put out your best lineup, Phil. This is the team now and I’m not saying it is good enough to make the playoffs having won 9 of its last 28 games but teams not good enough make the playoffs all the time, you can ask New Jersey about that. And I refuse to hop on the locomotive of self-loathing Sabres twitter seems to be on. This game just gave me too much to chew on. Well like, comment and share this blog even if you think I am insane. With this team: sometimes I feel like it. This frickin team! They hurt me over and over and lord knows I’ll still be watching them at my in-laws this weekend. This frickin eternally ass team: Oh the shit I would do for a playoff berth. OH THE SHIT I WOULD DO! Go Sabres! If they make it by one point this game is going to be my masterpiece. Oh god I need them to make the playoffs. Go Sabres! I’m going to repeat it like I’m trying to remember it: Go Sabres! Go Sabres! Don’t go breaking my heart.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Sara Civ is a great follow on twitter. She is one of the better hockey beat reporters out there and if it weren’t for her covering that frickin team I’d probably be mentioning her more.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #nhl #blog #carolina hurricanes