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mostmouse · 11 months

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The Swordsmith with a Cute Name

Hotaru Haganezuka has gone missing in the swordsmith village, surely his wife must know where he is, right? The thing is, he sort of only visits at night.

(Hotaru Haganezuka x f!reader, explicit, 5,800 words, slight yandere themes) as always - cross posted to my AO3 :)

Tanjiro marveled at the entrance of the Swordsmith Village, the architecture striking him. Growing up in the mountains, he had never really been exposed to such buildings, and he didn’t want to count his time in the entertainment district. Waving to the people milling about on his way to the chief’s residence, he sniffed the air, trying to see if he could scent his own swordsmith. While he could catch a faint smell, he couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from.

Moving into the chief’s home, he listened to the older man speak of Mr. Haganezuka, balking as he openly threatened the man. Tecchin sighed, “We’re searching high and low for him, and I’m sure his wife has met with him in these last few months, but I can’t catch her with him!” He pouted, “I don’t have it in me to ask her to set a trap though, it’s already a miracle that Hotaru even managed to find a woman who would tolerate him.”

Tanjiro gasped before lighting up, “Mr. Haganezuka is married?! That’s wonderful!” Tecchin sighed delightedly, holding his cheek in his hands.

“Isn’t it just so? I raised him, so I know how difficult it can be. No matter what that woman has ever done, she’s a pure hearted angel in my books. I wish she’d join me in trying to detain Hotaru.”

Tanjiro laughed, slightly awkward. “I’m sure she’s making sure he’s safe and well cared for while he’s out.” The two continued to gossip before one of the other men in the room reminded their chief of his other commitments. “I’ll head out to acquaint myself with the village.” Bowing low, he smiled, “I’ll keep an eye out for Mr. Haganezuka. If I run into Mrs. Haganezuka, is it alright if I associate with her?”

Tecchin brightened up, sitting taller, “Yes! See if you can get her to open up about Hotaru’s whereabouts. Perhaps she’ll tell a young man as handsome as you. I’m sure Hotaru won’t mind, but he’s always been a bit possessive over her.”

Tanjiro’s smile was strained. “Ah, I hope so, too.” Gathering Nezuko’s box, Tanjiro got up to leave, bowing once more at the gentlemen before taking his leave. The hot springs were an overwhelming scent, but if he focused hard, he could almost track his swordsmith’s scent. Patting the box, he whispered to his sister, “Let’s see if we can find Mr. Haganezuka’s wife, I’m really curious what she’s like!”

Hearing Nezuko’s hum of affirmation, he trotted along the small village’s dirt streets. Eyes scanning everyone around him, he huffed slightly. “Everyone’s wearing those clown masks… How am I supposed to- ah!” Perking up, he caught a whiff of Mr. Haganezuka, jogging forward until he found someone in a pretty mask carrying leather goods.

“Ah! Excuse me, are you Mrs. Haganezuka?” Hearing your name, you turned to face him, shoulders straightening as you saw this boy had no mask. He must have been a visitor, how did he know your name? You weren’t a swordsmith, instead you crafted leather accessories for the swords your husband made.

“I am, and you are?” Tanjiro blushed as he forgot his manners, bowing deeply, he introduced himself. However, you interrupted him before he could mention his relationship with Mr. Haganezuka. “Oh! Tanjiro! You’re a client of Hotaru’s, aren’t you?”

The young man before you smiled brightly, and you felt your chest swell with sudden affection. He was too cute! “I am! I was wondering… Have you seen him? The chief mentioned that he’s been missing the last few months, so I can’t help but be worried.”

You stiffened, his earnest expression instead now twisting your heart. You stuttered over your words for a moment before plastering a wide smile on your face - not that he could see it. “Oh gosh, no! Sorry! I wish I could help, I really do! But, well, I don’t actually know where he is at the moment, I’m sorry!”

Waving your hand apologetically, you laughed airly. Tanjiro smiled softly, tilting his head. It didn’t take someone with a discerning nose like him to know you were lying. Well, you hadn’t actually lied, you probably really didn’t know where he was, but you certainly have seen him. Tanjiro breathed a sigh, smile not leaving his lips. “If you see him, could you let him know I’m here? I’d like to apologize for chipping my sword.”

Your hand dropped, reaching into the large bag at your hip. “Of course! I’ll let him know!” You chirped in realization, digging for whatever you were looking for with vigor, “If I see him! You know, because, yeah I-I don’t know where he is!” Laughing nervously, you held out a small item to him. “Silly me! Here’s take this, a gift for Hotaru for not being here!”

Tanjiro accepted the small leather sheath, gasping as he pulled out a knife. “Wow!” Eyes widening further, he shouted in surprise as the blade turned black. “It's a nichirin dagger!”

You brightened, clapping your hands. “I’ve been apprenticing under Hotaru for a few years, but unfortunately this is the only sturdy thing I can make right now. I’m actually a leather worker by trade! I craft hilts and sheaths!”

Tanjiro’s eyes lit up in stars, bowing once more. “That’s amazing! I’ll treasure this! I’ll only use it in emergencies!” You hummed happily, holding your cheeks. Tanjiro placed the dagger in his pocket, bowing for the last time. “Thank you so much, if you don’t mind me asking… Where’s the entrance to the hot springs?”

You laughed, reaching out and petting the top of his head fondly. “I don’t mind at all! Here, let me lead you.” You ignored his blush and how he tried to object, taking his hand and leading him away. “Please, it would be my honor! Maybe later you could introduce me to your little sister!” You eyed the box curiously, “I heard she’s downright adorable, I just have to meet her! And don’t worry, the canopy above the main hot springs is full coverage. Even though it's sunset, no light will get in, so she’ll be safe to soak, too!”

Tanjiro’s heart squeezed in his chest, you were much too kind. He couldn’t believe you were the wife of the man who sent him those threatening ink stained letters. Once the two of you approached the steps, the both of you looked up as the love hashira barreled down towards you, shouting.

You laughed delightedly, shouting your greetings as Tanjiro panicked, rushing up to close her kimono. Smiling as Tanjiro fussed over Mitsuri, you waved and walked away, giggling behind your mask. With a renewed pep in your step, you hummed as you made your way to your shared home on the outskirts of the village, nestled in the woods.

Closing the sliding door behind you, you slipped your shoes off, setting down your bag and stretching tall, groaning loudly. Stepping up onto the clean floors, you made your way to the kitchen. Paying no mind to your surroundings, you didn’t notice as your large husband crept up behind you.

Shouting, you felt strong arms wind around you, pulling you against a sturdy built chest. “H-Hotaru!” His mask clacked against yours as pressed himself to the back of your body, arms tightening.

“I saw you talking with Kamado, what did he have to say?” His voice was gruff, you could hear the agitation in it as you whimpered. His large hand came up to cup your mask, pulling it away from your face and setting it down. He was always so gentle with his works of art, but he didn’t bother the same treatment with you, especially when he saw you talking with other men.

“Hotaru, he’s just a boy, what are you so worked up ab- ah!” He hauled you up over his shoulder, carrying you to the bedroom. “Hotaru! Let me make us dinner, I haven’t seen you in a couple days!” You slapped his back before realization dawned on you, “W-Were you watching us? Have you been watching me on the days I don’t see you?”

He tossed you to the bed, quickly climbing over you and straddling your legs, hands holding your wrists on his thick thighs. “Hotaru! Stop!” You tried to wiggle, knowing it was futile, especially when he was focused on a specific topic or task.

“What did he say to you?” He leaned forward, bandana and mask keeping his expression from you. Squeezing you with his thighs, he huffed, “I won’t ask again.”

You growled, fed up with the cold welcome from the man you loved, “You’re being jealous! I don’t get a ‘hi’ or a kiss, or a ‘good evening honey, how are-’ ahh!” He tugged your wrists up, body quickly following as you were brought to his chest, his arms winding around you in a tight hug.

You pouted, not wanting to talk about it but knowing you wouldn’t get anything from him if you didn’t - the man was ridiculously stubborn and could hold out much longer than you. He always had his swords to go to when he wasn’t getting his way. “Nothing! He didn’t say anything, just that he was sorry for chipping his sword. Tecchin spoke with him earlier so he knew you were missing.”

You whined a bit, going slack in his arms, “I think he knew I was lying he asked me about you… But he didn’t press it. I gave him that dagger I’d been working on. It turned black just like his blade though, I’m sorry.”

Your husband’s grip relaxed a bit, though he didn’t move from where he was perched on your lap, still keeping you contained. His burly hands came back around and held your cheeks as he sighed heavily. “It’s not your fault. All the blades I’ve made have turned black as well.” Groaning loudly, he set his jaw on the top of your head.

Cautiously, you brought your arms up, slipping his mask off before tugging his bandana away from his head. His hair spilled from where it was tied up in the fabric, cascading over his shoulders in a flowing wave.

Sighing as you tended to him, you spoke up in a small comforting voice. “Hotaru… Do you wanna get up for me and we can make some dinner?” He scoffed, gritting his teeth, his jaw tense where it rested above the crown of your head. Sighing, you pet his thighs. “You'll be less grumpy once you eat, sweetness.”

Pushing your shoulders back, he fixed you with a hard glare. “You know how I feel when you speak with other people.” He gripped your cheeks with both hands, “You’re mine. You know that. Why do I have to keep reminding you?” His perfect lips turned to a sneer, and you recalled how he was only okay with you speaking to a handful of people in the village.

You pouted, your lips squished together and preventing you from speaking. Growling you tried to shake your head to escape his grip, however that had him holding onto you tighter. “You’re mine.”

His voice was as rough as his lips as he crashed his against yours. Whimpering at the force, feeling the impact on your teeth, you tried to wiggle away from him. His hands came up behind you, twisting in your hair and holding you in place. His tongue pushed past your lips, teeth clacking as he ravaged your mouth.

You whimpered, hands pulling his hair as you tried to break free. Even though you were sure it wasn’t because of you, he pulled away, moving only the smallest bit away from your mouth. His burly body blocked everything else from your line of vision, the only thing you could see being him. His eyes bore into yours, gaze intense, and you knew you wouldn’t get away from him unscathed.

You whimpered, his hands pressing you down onto your back as he slipped off you. “Don’t move.” You gave a sharp shout as he tore your kimono open and off of you, easily slipping off your undergarments with deft fingers.

Hotaru’s rough hands pawed over your freshly displayed body, nails scratching you slightly. You whimpered, body jolting with each touch as he moved downwards onto his knees. You tentatively pet his hair, gasping as he grabbed your palms and pressed them to the side of the bed, flat. “What did I just say?”

He didn’t move, staying still as his eyes stared up at you from between your legs. Your mouth was dry as you looked up towards the ceiling. “D-Don’t move.” His grip tightened as he bit your thigh, ignoring as you cried out.

“And what did you do?” Hands leaving yours, he pushed your thighs wide open, admiring your cunt. You whimpered above him, shouting as he bit your other thigh.

“Moved! I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry, ‘Taru, please!” Huffing at your words, he abandoned your hands and instead kept to holding your thighs. At his silence, you shuddered as his breath puffed over your slit. Now that he seemed wholly uninterested in what you were doing or saying, you knew the night was only beginning, his impressive and irritating focus narrowing in on pleasuring you until he had his fill.

Gasping, your hips jerked as his tongue slid up your slit, slow and wet. “Hotaru…” You grabbed at his hair, knowing he was so focused he wouldn’t be paying you anymore attention outside of eating you out.

His hands gripped the fat of your thighs, tongue pushing past your slit and dipping inside your cunt. Your back arched at the feeling, basking in the pleasure for as long as you could. His mouth went to work as his hands groped you, moving up your body and squeezing anywhere he could reach.

Peering above your chest and tummy, you moaned lowly at the sight of him between your legs. His eyes were half lidded, a blush on his cheeks, and showing no indication of looking up at you, entirely enraptured in your sweet cunt. You tossed an arm over your eyes, the other resting in his hair as you wrapped your thighs around his head.

Sighing, you let him lick you, drooling over your already wet cunt. “Hotaru~” You felt him press his face closer against you, tongue shoved deep inside you. Arching your back, you pulled his hair, the man staying silent as he moved upwards to suck your clit.

“Ahh!” You shuddered at the feeling, moaning and crying out as his hands shifted to your hips. Gripping you tightly, you moaned at the rough treatment. He lifted you up higher, hands moving to cup your ass while his eyes slid shut. He pawed at your skin, squishing it in his palms as he sucked your clit tight into his hot wet mouth.

Writhing on the bed, you pulled his hair, letting your legs fall open, thighs resting on his broad shoulders. “Ahh~ So good~” You pet his hair as he slipped his tongue back into your cunt, licking you hotly. You rocked your hips in his grip, grateful he wasn’t holding you down this time.

Moving his head, you felt his tongue slip deeper inside, his own rough moans muffled by your plush skin. You whimpered loudly, head falling back as you felt him move one of his hands from your ass. You swallowed tightly, anticipation rattling your lungs as you felt him slowly curve it around your thighs to settle between your legs, just under his mouth.

You whined as one rough finger slipped inside you, the size of his digits easily outmatching your own. “Please, Hotaru~” He delicately pet inside of you, reacquainting himself with your body. You rolled your hips against his face, whining once more as he ignored you, steadying his hand and stroking you with one digit.

His tongue soon left you, moving up to your clit as he sucked once more, feeling your swollen bundle against his tongue, his finger soft inside you. You cried out, bucking your hips as you pulled his hair, his mouth not stopping as he sighed against you, eyes closed and tongue licking you rapidly.

“H-Hotaru! Ahh- fuck! Please!” You arched your back, dragging him so close to you that his nose was pressed against your mound. “‘M gonna cum! Haah~ Ah!” Your breath stuttered from your lungs, writhing against the soft comforter as your husband stayed on his knees, unbothered by your reactions.

You gasped for air as he continued, thighs quaking and sporadically squeezing his head before falling back open. He kept his hand firmly cupping your ass while the other slipped another finger inside your tightening cunt.

Sighing hotly, your hands loosened in his mane, petting flyaways from his sweaty forehead, laughing breathlessly as his eyes were still closed. “Hotaru… It’s not fair when I can’t l-look at your handsome face…” Your words trailed off, soft sharp moans falling past your lips as he built his speed back up.

Whimpering, you tried to push him away, knowing full well you couldn’t. “W-Wait, Hotaru, please!” He moaned gruffly against you, and you were sure his cock was aching and hard in his pants. “Please, Hotaru, I want you inside me! I know yo-ahh! K-Know you want it, too-” You covered your mouth with your hand, crying out as he curled his fingers inside you.

You had no idea to what end he would stop, it wasn’t uncommon for him to become so hyper fixated and focused on making love to you, whether that be with his mouth or cock. You knew he wouldn’t stop until he was done, and it didn’t matter if you were conscious when that time came. After much practice together, your beloved husband blossomed into quite the lover, but as with his sword making passion, he tended to allow himself to slip into a specific sort of headspace.

You writhed, legs kicking behind his head as you pulled your hands back up to yourself. Holding and fondling your chest, you cried out, his hand moving faster. “‘Taru! Fuck!” Panting hard, you felt him let go of your clit, catching his breath as his fingers tapped at your gspot. You arched again, body bending and back popping at the stretch.

He leaned back, admiring your reactions and how you squeezed and pulled at your breasts. Licking his lips, he watched your cunt flutter around his fingers, pulling back before thrusting them into you, the rough pace making your upper body curl. Your hands moved to fist the blanket instead, gasping and panting for air as your climax approached.

Growling, he dragged his hand from where it was squeezing your ass, pushing one of your thighs off his shoulder so he could nibble and suck marks into your plush skin. Crying out, he felt you tighten on his fingers, but it wasn’t enough to stop his fast pace. Moaning as he bit down, his hazy eyes watched as you arched high, hands blindly seeking and finding his long, wild hair.

“Ah-!” He winced as you pulled hard, eyes never leaving your face as you finished hard a second time. Leaving your bitten thigh, he pulled his hand back, spreading your legs so wide the brief thought of you splitting apart echoed in your blissfully empty head.

Moaning loudly and wantonly, you felt him replace his digits with his tongue, pushing past your plump cunt to lick inside you. His nails bit into your skin as you moved to twist his hair around your fists. “Hotaru!” You babbled incoherently, moaning as his wet fingers curled up to rub your clit fast and hard. “Ahh!” You curled forward screeching as he overstimulated you.

You could handle it when he cooled down a bit, giving you a slight break between orgasms, but you knew if he kept it up, you’d be passing out sooner rather than later. You were always a little sleepy after one climax, him getting you off repeatedly back to back was just mean.

Thighs quivering, he basked in your noises, surrounding himself with your perfect body, the taste of your cum making him strain in his now painfully too tight pants. Breaking away from your cunt, he panted heavily, fingers pinching your clit as he nibbled your plump slit. Crying out above him, he could barely make out how your upper body writhed for him.

Catching his breath, he dove back in, mouthing over your throbbing clit and three digits pounding your sweet spot. You screamed aloud, trying to scoot away from him, pushing him away and kicking your legs. “No! Stop! ‘Taru!” He had you on the brink, he could feel how tight you were wrapped around his fingers, knew you were at your limit.

It had been days since he’d last seen you, since he’d last touched you. He knew you were busy with your own jobs as well, coming home to an empty bed with no energy to touch yourself. He had to make up for lost times. It was a mantra in his head, to make sure you felt amazing before he even had a chance to feel good himself.

Moaning around your clit as it was snug inside his drooling mouth, his eyes flicked up to you. You laid there in bed, palms over your face as you gasped and shouted. As he laved his tongue over you, teeth pressing against your burning skin, he rubbed his calloused fingertips over your gspot, switching between pressing and rubbing hard to pounding them with quick movements of his wrist.

Finally, your head fell back, screaming as your voice cracked, finishing hard and bucking your hips against his jaw. He quickly abandoned your clit as he felt hot cum flood down his digits and into his palm. You cried out weakly as he voraciously ate you out, tongue pressing inside your cunt and fucking you.

Gasping and whimpering, your hips jolted as he licked up all your cum, dragging his tongue up your slit before flicking your swollen clit. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, his mouth moved away from you, letting your legs rest against the end of the western style bed. He sat back on his heels, licking his hand clean as he watched you closely.

Muscles rippling beneath his clothes, he hovered above you, kneeling between your legs as his intense gaze watched your face. Blinking slowly, your dazed bleary gaze found his face, muddled from your airy state of mind. Breathing heavily, you managed a small weak, “‘Taru?”

Sighing above you, he kissed your forehead. Letting your eyes close, you felt him slip off the bed and pull you up into his arms. Maneuvering with you in his grip, he turned down the sheets, sliding you inside them. You hummed, comfortable amongst the soft sheet and plush pillows. Feeling yourself drift off, you registered faintly of your husband crawling in with you.

You tried to call out to him, but your throat was tired and dry. Cracking your eyes open, you moved your lips, about to call out to him before he got comfortable, but instead cried out loudly as you felt his thick cock fill you in one thrust. “Hotaru!”

You heard him groan above you, the tight fit rattling his spine. You cried out as he lifted your legs, hips quickly pistoning inside of you. Sobbing incoherently, you clawed at his chest as he hovered above you. “I- Stop!” His cock split you open, the messy sounds echoing around you as your husky voice called out to him.

Blinking rapidly, you tried to focus on his face, whimpering as his eyes bore into you, sweat dripping from his tense visage down onto you. He was quiet the entire time, not speaking as he fucked you roughly. Groaning and panting, he was otherwise silent as he focused entirely on your expression.

Writhing beneath him, you gripped his wrists as he held your hips still, his own crashing into yours roughly. “I can’t! S’too much!” You tossed your head to the side, brows pinched as he filled you up just to pull nearly out, filling you once more.

Your husband grunted above you, shuddering at your words. With a sharp gasp, his thrusts faltered, moans stifled as he rubbed your overstimulated and sore clit. You slapped his chest, tears at the corners of your eyes, “It hurts! Stop it, stop!”

However, Hotaru paid you no mind, panting as his climax washed over him, hips bucking without rhythm as you felt him pump his cum inside you. Dragging your nails down his chest once more and shaking your head, tears slipping down into your hairline. “No more! Please, ‘Taru!”

His gaze was focused as he met your own, but you whimpered, body quaking as you didn’t see any recognition in his intense stare. Instead, his eyes drifted down your body, large palm pressing into your belly. You choked out a moan as he moved his hips subtly, cock stroking your gspot as he pressed down harder.

You could see the edges of your vision turn fuzzy as he began to pump his hips again, the pace just as face and brutal. Gasping, you coughed roughly, hands pulling at his weakly, whimpering and crying out. As he pounded you, feeling your breasts bounce, your sudden climax had you shrieking before your field of vision went cloudy and you passed out.

Hotaru watched you from his position above you, admiring your blissed out expression as he made love to you. Licking his lips, he moaned as you finished around him, cunt once again tightening like a vice, squeezing him tighter than you had all night. Moaning loud and sharp, he winced while his hips continued their pace.

Panting heavily, his drool dripped down to your chest, your eyes closed and face no longer pinched. Gritting his teeth, he bowed his head forward, hips jerking roughly. After his intense orgasm before, he couldn’t deny that the overstimulation was beginning to hurt him as well. Grabbing your legs, he pressed them to his chest. Anchoring his heels in the soft bed, he pressed you tighter up against yourself.

Now that you were unconscious, it was easier to fold your body how he wanted to. Gritting his teeth, he felt himself reach deeper inside of you. “Ahh! Fuck!” Eyes closing, his face tensed as his body slowly began to as well. Panting desperately for air, he felt himself shudder as he finished once more, filling you with more hot cum.

Hands fell from your legs to either side of your head, sweat and drool dripping from him down to you as you remained blissfully unaware of how his cock throbbed and pulsed inside your hot cunt. His body quaked with aftershocks and pumped a bit more cum deep inside you.

Fisting his hands into the pillow on either side of your face, he groaned. His energy was spent, having already been exhausted from his training out in the forest surrounding the village. He wanted to keep going, not quite satisfied with his work, but having to admit he was as spent as you were.

With his last coherent train of thought, he moved your legs and slid out from between them. Collapsing next to you, he pulled you so your back was flush against his chest. Using his legs, he dragged the blankets up closer, tossing off the top comforter, and draping the two of you in the soft thin sheet.

Catching his breath, he littered your shoulders with kisses and bites, not caring if they would be visible above your kimono in the morning. Everyone in the village knew you belonged to him and him alone, so it wouldn’t matter if you were marked up. Sighing tiredly, his hands drifted over your body, scratching you with his nails before cupping your breasts.

Feeling sleep overtake him, he squeezed you before allowing himself to pass out.

All too soon, however, his eyes were cracking open once more, groaning as the sun shone through the window. You were still sleeping soundly next to him, face buried in the pillows and back rising with each deep breath.

Stretching tall, Hotaru felt his joints pop and crack. He didn’t like to stay too long after sunrise, preferring to train when the morning was still cool. Sitting up, he winced at the dull ache in his hips. He rolled his shoulders, swinging his thick legs over the side of the bed, moving to get up before your smaller hand grabbed his wrist.

Humming in thought, he turned, looking for your eyes under your mess of hair as it was splayed out on the pillow. “‘Taru…” Your grip was weak considering you were barely awake, and it would have been child’s play to break away from you. However, your enormous husband smiled softly, turning and crawling back into bed to cuddle you into his strong arms.

You hummed happily, eyes closing once more as you settled in his grip. His voice was husky as he whispered in your ear, delighting in how you shuddered, “Good morning. How are you feeling?” You laughed softly, the sound barely passing your lips.

“Sore. Wonder why that is? Don’t think I’ll-” Yawning widely, you rolled your shoulders, “Don’t think I’ll be able to walk very well this morning.” You blinked blearily at him, a soft smile on your tired face.

He couldn’t help but lick his lips, grinning smugly. “You’re lucky I let you leave the house at all.” His hand drifted down, grabbing your ass roughly, smirking as you moaned and hid your face in his chest. “You’re mine. Nobody should ever get to see you again. The only forge you have any business being in is mine.”

You laughed softly, kissing his chest where you could reach him, “You’re not even in your own forge nowadays, Hotaru. I get lonely without having you.” He scoffed at your words, grumbling under his breath.

You squealed as he squeezed you tight. “Don’t care. Don’t let me see you getting too friendly with anyone else while I’m gone, understand me?” His gaze was on you now, pulling you back from his chest.

You sighed lovingly as you took in his face with the morning sunlight. “You’re so handsome, I love you.” He crinkled his nose, watching as his words went in one side and out the other. Sighing at your helpless nature, he pulled you into his lap before sitting up.

“We can make it to the hot springs and back before it's time to make a proper breakfast.” You whined in his grip as he stood up, placing you in a nearby chair as he found some clothes for the both of you. Tying you up in a loose kimono, he grabbed another larger one for himself, tying it closed and moving to lift you up once more.

You giggled happily in his arms, still veiled in a thin shroud of sleep. “You wore me out last night… I’m not sure I remember half of it.” Hotaru grunted, grabbing his mask before walking to the entryway and grabbing yours as well.

Slipping on his sandals, he hefted you up higher in his arms, “You passed out.” You were speechless for a moment, staring at him from under your sunny mask, before laughing quietly to yourself.

“You’re horrible! Tecchin was right, you’re a handful!” Hotaru snorted under his mask, holding you closer to his chest. You listened to his heartbeat as well as his deep voice as he spoke up once more.

“Please, you’re just as much of a handful. We’re a perfect match for each other, no one else could handle us.” You laughed again, waking up as the sun filtered through the trees as he carried you to the hot springs.

Leaning up, you tapped his cheek with your mask then his ear over his bandana in a makeshift kiss. “You’re right… I’d be a mess without you, you know.” Resting your cheek on his chest once more, the two of you basked in the morning sunlight together.

Wiggling your nose, you looked away as you got closer to the hot springs. “Gross.” You felt your husband’s shoulders shake slightly, silent laughter at your childish tone. “Oh well, at least I get to soak with you!”

You nuzzled his neck, rubbing his chest as he crested the steps to show a large pool of steaming water. You wiggled in his grasp, hearing his laugh softly as he put you down before scrambling to pick you back up as your legs gave out. You slapped his chest as his arms wound around your waist, pulling you snug and tight against him once more.

“You did this! This is your fault!” You slipped your mask up to rest atop your head, smiling fondly at your beloved. Once yours was secured, you moved to tug his off along with his bandana.

Hotaru pouted at you before smiling softly and kissing you gently. Sitting you on the edge of the spring, he easily stripped you of your kimono before stripping himself down as well. Wading into the spring, he bundled you back into his arms and sat the two of you against the inner wall.

Sighing contentedly, you apologetically pet the red scratches on his chest. “Sorry…” You smiled up at him softly before kissing them, noticing how some had dried blood on them. “I should trim my nails down a little, I think…”

He grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles before relaxing back, stretching his legs out. “Don’t worry about it, I was the one who pushed you last night.” You smiled, relaxing against him, mischievous eyes looking up at him.

“And yet you’re not apologizing.” Your husband scoffed, not bothering to look down at you, opting to squeeze you tightly instead before loosening his grip just as quick.

“Because I’m not sorry. You’re my wife, I’ll take you however I please whenever I want.” You balked at his steady words, his tone final.

“Hotaru Haganezuka! You’re bad!” You bit his chest before blowing a loud raspberry against him. He laughed loudly, moving so that he could kiss your forehead. You slapped him lightly, shaking your head but basking in his laughter. “What on earth am I going to do with you?”

He hummed, relaxing back against the spring’s wall again. “Stay with me. Forever.” His suddenly sincere tone had your chest welling up in affection and adoration. Sighing softly, you rested back against him, smiling.

“Of course. Always.” Hotaru pet your hair, relaxing in the early morning rays in the deserted hot spring with you in his arms. Thoughts of work began creeping into his head, but he pushed them off, wanting to spend just a little more time with you in sweet intimacy.

#haganezuka x reader #hotaru haganezuka x reader #hotaru x reader #hotaru haganezuka #kny #demon slayer

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yaksha-lover · 22 days

Text

Thus Always to Tyrants

Summary: Lilia has always been an enigma to you; slipping through your fingers at every attempt to get close - follows fae!reader’s relationship with lilia from childhood to the war to present day in briar valley

Lilia Vanrouge x Fae!Reader, small background Meleanor x reader hehe

wc: 3.8k

cw: i’m too into medieval fantasy so i created unnecessary lore (clown noises), also i haven’t read book 7 so prob butchered canon, (but spoilers), angst, grief, unrequited (?) love, pining, mild description of war events/tragedy

Even then, he hadn’t seen you. Before the wars and before the bloodshed, when there’d only been long grass to tickle your ankles and azure skies allowing you to guess at clouds, Lilia had never seen you.

There’d always been something, someone, to distract him.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. It’s easier this way, to imagine that there’s something other than disinterest and disgust keeping you apart.

The forests of Briar Valley are filled with pine trees, their scent so potent you wished you could bottle the air and take it home.

That was where you and Meleanor had met Lilia. You’d grown up in the royal castle, the two of you spending afternoons giggling about the latest court gossip and eating all the sweets you could before the queen could scold her daughter.

That day is one of your fondest memories, and not entirely because of him. The trunk of the giant oak tree was hard against your back, but you hadn’t been able to think about anything but the feel of your princess’ head in your lap. She’d simply closed her eyes and demanded you read to her, dark hair spilling around your legs.

“As you wish, Mel,” you’d agreed, gathering up one of her favourite books.

She’d only popped an eye open to tease you. “Mel, is it? Not princess? Perhaps I should have you punished for such transgressions~” She giggled.

“If I am to be placed in the dungeon, then who will feed you ice cream and read to you, dear princess?” you countered, ruffling her hair.

“Hmm, I suppose your insubordination will have to forgiven…but only if you allow me to remain on your lap for an adequate amount of time. Any sooner, and I’ll have to punish you myself~”

She was temperamental yet whimsical, delighting you as much as she terrified you. Mostly, Meleanor was your best friend. Your only friend, truly. There weren’t many children your age around the castle; you were only there because your father sat on the high council as the master of coin.

After you’d been reading aloud to her for some time, a sudden rustle in the trees caught the both of you off guard. The princess had jumped up quickly, all the combat lessons she’d taken with the head of the Queen’s guard finally paying off.

Out from the vegetation, a short, dark-haired fae who looked to be around your age emerged. He was fitted in what could only be described as rags; torn and stained all over. Despite his disheveled look, you thought he had a certain charm about him.

Meleanor, who’d grown taller than you ages ago, towered over him. It was almost a pitiful sight.

The princess had narrowed her eyes and asked: “Where have you come from?”

“Nowhere,” he’d answered simply, looking down at his feet. “I’m no one.”

That was the meekest you’d ever seen him, no indication of his true vibrant personality.

From that day in the forest, Lilia had been with you. Meleanor had begged the queen to let him stay in the castle, to grow up with you and her as another companion. The princess’ tears worked especially well on her mother, so of course she’d gotten her way.

As she grew up, the princess only became more and more beautiful. You weren’t the only one who noticed, either. The three of you were still young at the time, but Lilia seemed fond and more than fond of Meleanor. The princess returned his affections, but perhaps not with the same intent; she almost smote him when he’d jokingly proposed to her with a ring of grass. It made you angry, for a while. She was your friend first, and now Lilia had come to hog all her time and attention.

It was hard to see your only friend pulled in a new direction, especially one that seemed so far away from you. That was back when you were small; things settled quickly after that, with the three of you falling easily into friendship. There would still be times, occasionally, when you were envious of the friendship shared by Meleanor and Lilia, but it was on both ends. You simply wished to be included, not to have the princess or Lilia all to yourself. That was never a possibility, after all.

As you grew, it wasn’t long before Meleanor fell in love with Levan. You’d been…annoyed, at first, at how fast your friend had seemed to leave you behind yet again.

“You promised to take me flying today, dear princess,” you’d said, trying and failing to keep the gloom out of your voice. “Don’t you remember?”

Meleanor looked up from brushing her hair, making eye contact with you through the mirror. “Forgive me, I cannot turn away Levan…my heart will not let me.”

“But it will let you turn me away?”

She turned now, facing you directly, some of her signature anger evident in her expression. Her violent temper only seemed her grow with her adolescence. “Stop this foolishness! You are my friend, but Levan is my beloved. If you find issue with that, you will leave my castle at once.”

As though you couldn’t feel more humiliated, she’d moved, stopping in front of you and tilting your chin to meet her gaze. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you’d whispered, wondering when things had changed.

And then she’d pulled you into her arms, and suddenly she’d felt all too familiar again, hugging you and telling you she loved you, asking you to always stay by her side. As her dearest friend.

Being cold to Levan only pushed you further from Meleanor, so you were forced to accept his presence. Once the initial hostility dissipated, you found that Levan was quite pleasant.

If Meleanor was always destined to be with another, then you were happy it was someone as great as Levan, at the very least. With your princess’ time now being taken up by her lover, you and Lilia spent much more time alone together than before.

The first time you had the courage to broach the subject of marriages and pairings had done nothing but splash the cold water of Lilia’s indirect rejection on to you. With how cold and empty you felt, it was as though the shivers went bone deep.

Your father had insisted on looking for a match for you. A political marriage to improve your family’s standing, surely. You had protested and held it off as long as you could, but now his asks were becoming unavoidable.

You’d thought - hoped - that Lilia might be interested. He wouldn’t be your father’s number one choice, but he would still accept it; Lilia may not have been of noble birth, but his status as a respected general amongst the court bought him points. Marrying him would certainly be better than any stuffy old fae you’d be forced to settle down with.

It wasn’t just avoiding others, either. You wanted Lilia, as loathe as you were to admit. He was your friend, a close companion, and perhaps you’d even desired more.

It was difficult to voice to yourself that your affections went beyond platonic when you were not so delusional as to imagine that he felt the same in any way.

No, you felt like an afterthought to Lilia. As though you were merely Meleanor’s friend, and not his own. He wasn’t so kind to you as he was the princess, and the affection he held for her, although now platonic, went beyond anything you could imagine receiving from him. Even Levan seemed to bond with him easier than you had after knowing him for years. It was like he tolerated you more than anything; when Meleanor was off with Levan, you were the only option left.

It shouldn’t have hurt so much when he said he didn’t wish to marry. The ‘you’ part seemed unspoken, even though he claimed reasons of freedom and lifestyle instead of saying anything about you.

Regardless, he’d made the decision for you. Your father would ship you away from the castle, to be married to a stranger, leaving behind your beloved…friends.

At least he would have, had the war not begun so suddenly.

If you believed Lilia had hardened his heart to you before, then becoming a war general had hardened his heart to the world. Although it was the last thing on anyone’s minds, had you tried to bridge the gap between the two of you, not only would you have failed, but you might’ve gained a nice scar along with it.

To the untrained eye, Lilia seemed to thrive on the battlefield; swift with strength that went unmatched by any. But you knew better. There was a sense in which Lilia lost himself in action, where he seemed so distant from the boy you’d grown up with; perhaps it was his own way of coping with the horrors he’d been forced to experience, fae he fought alongside being slaughtered. In the end, it hadn’t mattered who they were before the battlefield; nobles and common folk alike fought and fell.

It was torturous to wait out the war in the castle. Every letter that came made your heart race, fear taking ahold as you read through the list of your fallen companions. It almost seemed inevitable that one day Lilia or Levan might appear on the list and send you into despair. Your only saving grace was Meleanor, the two of you keeping quiet company during this time, both not allowed to join the conflict and feeling useless for it.

You begged your father to let you join Lilia; you weren’t the most skilled fighter, but your healing magic excelled beyond any other, and you could hold your own for the most part. He’d denied you until so many had been lost that the queen asked for your service. None of you had known just how close tragedy was, how your departure for Lilia’s camp would mean leaving behind your beloved princess to die.

“Go back,” Lilia had growled at you. It was the very first thing he’d said since you’d come to his camp.

“I’m here to help, instead of rotting away in the castle while my people suffer!” You’d followed after him as he strutted between tents, giving orders to the other soldiers.

He’d shook his head, glaring at you. “You’re a spoiled little noble, you know nothing of the battlefield. Go back home. It’s not safe here.”

“I know I’m sheltered, but I’d like to try and help where I can! I don’t care what happens to me.”

Lilia stopped in his tracks, not facing you as he spoke.

“You don’t care? You’re selfish, you know that? What would Meleanor do without you? What would I-” He shook his head. “I don’t have time for this. Go back. Don’t make me make you.”

“Perhaps I am selfish, but what about me, Lilia? Shouldn’t it matter that I can’t possibly imagine a life where we’re not together, fighting side by side?” Your voice goes quiet. “I had a dream, an awful dream. One where you were dead…I’m afraid. I don’t want that dream to become real.”

You’d thought, for a moment, that his hardened gaze had wavered, but the next second, he’d ordered one of his subordinates to take you back to the castle. Perhaps the softness you believed you saw within him was only a trick of the light.

You’d been a fool. A fool in grief and despair, but a fool nonetheless.

Meleanor’s death had pulled you away from yourself, made you into some automaton which possessed none of your good qualities, for which you had to wonder if there were any to begin with. She’d been your friend, your only family. You should’ve been with her; you should’ve died with her. You should’ve done anything you could, and you’d failed.

It was only by a day that you’d left the castle and missed the fight that occurred.

Meleanor fought bravely, a knight had told you. And Meleanor died.

You waited for Lilia to come back. To come home to you. Your heart sang, a brief reprieve from all the aching when you found out he was alive; he was all you had left.

He never came, at least not to see you.

You fled the castle. There’d been no goodbyes to your father and no concern for Meleanor’s child.

If she’d been around, she surely would have killed you for your selfishness, but your head swam with grief and so you left everything behind.

It had been…surprising, to hear from Malleus. You’d heard amidst your travels that your father still sat on the small council, so perhaps he’d heard of you from him, considering they were together in Briar Valley. Who else would have known about you and your relationship with his mother?

There was General Vanrouge, but he…why would he even mention you at this point?

You’d taken to calling him that in your mind, if only to distance yourself a little more from your past. You heard he’d returned to Briar Valley years after you’d departed, but other than acting as a guardian for the prince and a curious human boy, you had no idea what he was up to.

It was a wonder the world was as big as it was, meaning you’d never run into the general during your travels.

And here, on the desk of your hostel, sat a letter from the crown prince. Your Meleanor’s son. The one you’d left behind.

With the distance of time, a new feeling stirs in your chest. One of unease and shame, yet another failure to the Draconia’s. You hoped the boy was doing well. Would it even be possible to accept if he wasn’t?

Well, he was asking, along with Meleanor’s mother, that you pay them a visit once again. The Queen…you’d abandoned her too, in a way. You dared not hope that she thought of you as another one of her children, but in a way, you’d loved her as a mother.

Heat burned at your cheeks. With your focus on Meleanor, Lilia, and Levan, you’d forgotten there were more people you considered your family. More people that you’d left behind in Briar Valley.

After all this time, you owed them an explanation, no, an apology. You owed them your return home.

Malleus greets you at the gates.

You’re stunned, for a moment. Dark locks of long hair sprawled elegantly across his shoulders, two curved horns peaking out from his head. Piercing green eyes that look into your soul.

He’s the spitting imagine of your best friend.

You try to move forward, but a green-haired fae stops you in your tracks, moving between you and Malleus.

“Keep your distance! Have some respect for your Prince!”

Malleus is quick to shake his head. “Leave them be, Sebek. This is Lord Tyrell’s child. My mother’s childhood friend.”

Sebek is quick to step-aside, bowing before you in apology, allowing you to step forward and hug Malleus. He’s motionless for a moment, and you’re worried you’ve crossed his boundaries, before he slowly slides his arms around your back, returning the hug.

“The resemblance between you and your mother…it is truly incredible. Pardon me for getting emotional, but I wasn’t expecting you to look so grown up…last I saw, you were merely an egg.”

He looks at you, smiling gently. “It’s nice to meet a friend of my mother’s. I feel I hardly know anything about her. Even Lilia refuses to speak of her.”

Your heart stirs at the mention of your former friend’s name. “I hope I can provide some memories of her.” You look away from him. “I only wish I could’ve done so sooner…I apologize, Malleus. I should have been here for you, just as Lilia was. I should have taken care of you, not left you behind when you were only a child…”

He shakes his head once again. “You are here now. That is all that matters.”

“Thank you, I hardly deserve your kindness.”

He returns your smile. “It is what my mother would have wished for, is it not?”

He leads you through the halls of the castle, but you wouldn’t have needed his help to get around. Every wall in the castle is burned into your brain, engrained with a variety of memories.

The halls are vastly the same as you remember; the same silver trim, the velveteen carpets, and the Draconia sigil hung on banners.

Only one thing stands out as different to you: there’s one more portrait than before.

Normally the Draconia family portraits were done about every century, so it made sense that one had been added semi-recently. This one is just of Malleus and Maleficia, occupying a rather empty-looking frame. Even if you didn’t know about Meleanor and Levan, you would know something was missing from it.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the appearance of a Silver-haired boy. He pauses to stare at you for a moment before smiling.

“You must be MC. Father has told me so much about you.” He bows lightly.

“You’re Silver? Lilia’s boy?” You take his hands in yours. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“And you as well. We’ve promised to help some of the younger knights with their training, so Sebek and I won’t be able to stay for dinner, but I hope you’ll stick around. It would be nice to hear about you from more than the stories my father shares.”

“I’ve been gone so long, I certainly intend to stay for a while. Maybe I’ll be able to tell you some stories of your father when he was younger.”

With a nod, Silver is off.

Malleus leads you into the dining room and you catch your first glimpse of Lilia Vanrouge in over a century.

He’s different and the same, all at once. He’s maintained his youthful looks, but his hair has radically changed; cropped and pink, where it once flowed in its red glory.

You turn to greet Maleficia first, bowing in front of her. “It is an honour to dine with you, your grace.”

“Stop that nonsense. Come to me, my dear. It’s been ages since I’ve seen you.”

The queen embraces you gently in her frail frame.

“I am truly sorry,” you whisper.

“It’s already forgotten,” she whispers back. “The past is the past, and we are here now. Please, take a seat, so we may dine together once again.”

Maleficia and Malleus sit at the head of the table on each side, so you take your place across from Lilia.

“It’s nice to see you again,” you offer.

“You as well,” Lilia replies, seemingly at a loss.

The dinner proceeds, Maleficia and Malleus asking questions about your travels. Lilia chimes in occasionally, but he’s uncharacteristically silent. Or perhaps characteristically? You hardly know him anymore, after all.

Once the final course comes and goes, Maleficia stands from the table. “Malleus, let us take our tea in the garden today. I believe these two have a lifetime of catching up to do.”

With that, the two of them are off.

“I missed you.” You don’t intend the words to come, but they spill out of your heart anyway.

“As did I.”

You fidget with the cutlery in front of you. “You’re still so formal with me after all this time. Have we truly become strangers?”

“You could never be a stranger to me. Not a day has gone by without you being in my thoughts.”

“And yet you never went looking for me. You returned to the castle only after I left, starting a family, raising Silver and Malleus…”

“They needed me. You know that.”

“You left me. You were all I had left after…I would have done anything, followed you anywhere. I would have helped you take care of Silver, Malleus. But you left without saying a thing.”

“I never knew…”

“Of course you did. Everyone did.”

“Nothing good would have come from us being together.”

“At least you’re finally being honest about your feelings. If you hated me as I feared, you should have sent me away the moment I came.”

“Hate? No, it was never like that. The distance between us…it seemed quite impossible to traverse.”

“Distance? We grew up in the same castle for hundreds of years…”

“That’s not what I was referring to.”

“Then to what?”

“You know how they all thought of me. The senate, your father, all believed I never deserved to be so close to you and Mel-” Lilia takes a moment to breathe. “To you and the princess.”

The mention of her name has you squeezing your eyes closed. Even after hundreds of years, it hurts to remember your beloved friend, her sweet memory tainted with the despair of her death. “Why does it matter what they thought?”

“They never would have allowed it. You know that.”

“No, that’s not true. My father said…”

“He lied. He was the first to send me away after her death.”

“He what? I- I was told you left, torn apart by grief.”

“I was in pain, but I always planned to return home…return to you. But the senate, they declared that there was no place at court for me anymore. That I failed- I failed at protecting Meleanor.”

A short silence rings between you. It’s perhaps the first time either of you have heard her name said aloud in centuries.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I never knew.”

“I never wanted you to. I’d rather you hate me than your family.”

“I understand. But you were my family, too. Perhaps the only one who truly had my best interests in mind and not some political scheming or such. And now look at you: Silver, Sebek, Malleus. Against all odds, you’ve found yourself a new family.” While I’ve ended up alone, you don’t say.

“You know I’ve always said, families are better the bigger they are. Perhaps it’s far too late, but-”

“Later’s better than never.”

A moment of understanding passes between you two, perhaps for the first time.

“Your hair…you look quite different from when I last saw you.”

“Hmm, Red was going out of style, I suppose. Although I’m sure you wish I hadn’t changed it. You always did prefer red.”

You shake your head softly. “Perhaps in the past, but we’ve both changed, haven’t we? No, I was going to say that it becomes you.”

The silence that settles between you is filled by an exchange of gentle smiles and a skimming of one hand over the other, until the two finally link together.

#unedited once again #just hoping for the best 🧎‍♂️#also this took me literal months to finish for some reason so if the writing is inconsistent 🥴🥴#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #meleanor draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge #meleanor draconia #malleus draconia #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #twst #twisted wonderland

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

Text

Clown Talk

Yandere Crime Harem + G.N Clown TV-Showhost Reader

Extortion. Aggravated Assault. Murder.

The list went on for the royal who had it all, and lost almost everything in one night.

A well respected and charitable figure in their community, it was a shock to the masses to see local casino owner, and frequent donor to hospitals framed on the five o'clock news for misconduct. Anyone with a good head on their shoulders and a realistic outlook on the world could see straight through the facade. Beneath that mask was a monster - every good deal that person ever committed a cover for their true goals.

Those they had helped plead their innocence. Those they had wronged tied their noose. The documents leaked to the public would tell which party was correct, wiped clean from history before the victor could be declared. Read aloud in court, each word marked a new trial at play. The execution of the rat bastard who got them into this whole ordeal in the first place.

The criminal know exactly who it was. Caught his hand in the cookie jar resembling their safe weeks ago, but they had enough of a heart to let him go for being the one person his little girl had. Not again. Day in and day out they dreamt of how they'd carry out their revenge. Splattering his brains all over the wall. Slicing him into cutlets and having a nice cookout for everyone involved. It was a beautiful dream. The one thing preventing the compete lost of their sanity. Shouldn't be too long now until their people manage to get them out and their hands around that bastard's neck. Only a matter of time-

"Quit mumbling to yourself- I can't hear the TV."

As if this hell couldn't get any worse. A desaturated rainbow flies across the television screen, showering an empty field with stars and hearts that sprout colorful flowers from the earth. The theme song for the show plays in the background; the strums of each guitar string and the voice humming along to the beat drilled into the criminal's head like psychological warfare. While the voice wasn't totally abysmal it still belonged to their greatest enemy. That fucking clown.

"Good Day, everyone! I've missed you all so much, and am so excited to meet all the new faces. Are you ready all for an exciting day of fun and new adventures?"

The few shouts of agreement make their ears bleed more. Needless to say the prison they had been thrown in was a shit hole. Terrible food, hard beds, and televisions that only played one station without interference. That neon haired, colorblock mess of an entertainer had haunted them from day one of their stay; the sounds chasing them whenever they fled to the sanctuary of their cell. Pathetically, while there were a couple naysayers, majority of the prison population had begun to actually like the show. A body hurls into the seat next to them.

"Thank fuck I didn't miss it. You staying this time, Zero?"

Zero's face wrinkles from the frown lines. 4D was a fellow intimate and the biggest fan of the show. A crook booked for various robberies who just like Zero was ratted on by an acquaintance. The nickname came from their tag including the number fourty and they thought it would be cool in unison with the one they forced onto Zero.

"I told you not to call me that."

"I get that you're some big hot-shot and "adults shouldn't be watching shows for kids.", but it's really good when you sit down and watch it. That clown ain't too bad on the eyes either."

Zero resists the urge to snap their fingers as they air quote. "I'd rather flush my head down a toilet."

"Come on! If ya watch it, I'll leave ya alone for the rest of your sentence."

That catches their attention. Armz crossed, Zero looks at the television. The set had switched to that of a kitchen as the clown speaks

"Juno has been feeling better down today, let's cheer him up with his favorite snack! Before we begin, make sure you always ask for an adults help when handing sharp objects or using the stove. Unless you are one yourself. "

With a wink, they throw an apron and go through the steps of making homemade rice treats with the audience. After putting the tray in the oven, they discreetly pull out another one with a full sheet of the treats already made. Marshmallow fluff and melted chocolate chips ooze from their sides as the clown cuts out a heart shaped piece with a cookie cutter.

"And there you go! A simple, fun activity you can do with family and friends, and even get something taste out of it. Juno prefers chocolate, but you can add a number of things to your own and let your imagination run wild."

Great. Now they were annoyed and hungry. They couldn't stand another segment.

"I'm leaving."

4D whines. "Whaaat? That was barely anything. Hey, don't go-"

They grab Zero's sleeve, but are powerless to stop them as they leave the common area and venture up to their room. Over the guard rail of the second floor, they watch the other inmates mindlessly crowded around the television screen and unironically enjoying it. They would've spat at them had it not been for the guard by their cell. Inside the room, their roommate had left the tv on and that same damned show was playing. They go to turn it off only to be cut off by a fake cry of pain.

"Ouch!"

The clown tumbles to the ground, figure looming over them off screen. They come into frame as they grip the clown's arm and helps them to their feet.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay, Juno. I know it wasn't on purpose."

The two face the screen as the clown speaks.

"Sometimes our friends do or say things that hurt our feelings. Take a breath, hear them out, but there's one important rule. Remember - forgiveness and friendship aren't always mutual. Sometimes people we may think are our friends go too far, and they believe an apology will make everything okay, but that's not always the case. The best thing you can do is forgive - and let go."

The background music is soft. The clown's smile is sincere, but an offshoot of that silly expression they had moments ago. Forgive. That weasel? There's no way in hell they could. He ruined them. Damaged their imagine. The bitterness Zero held was the only thing that pulled them forward. But what would come after they got their revenge?

"That's all for day, folks! And don't forget- you all may be my helpers, but I am here to help you the most!"

The intimate ends up watching the show until lights out. Each episode holds a new life lesson, cushioned by the silly activites prior to them and the songs the clown and their friends sings at the end. Regrettably, Zero finds their lips twitching upwards and a hushed laugh in their chest at some of the clown's jokes. When the clown visits them in their sleep, the dreams didn't seem as bad as before.

The next day Zero finds 4D in the yard. They're hesitant to speak.

"So... Why exactly do you like that clown?"

4D drops the equipment in their hand, looking flustered. "Wow, uh, why do you ask?"

"Just curious. If it's so embarrassing, I can make it worth while."

4D refuses the cigeratte they offer. "I quit. It ain't nothing serious like that, we just... talked."

Zero raises a brow. "Talked? You some kind of nutcase or something?"

"Maybe, but what I mean is I sent them a letter. After all the rush and freedom of the things I did, I was going mad in here. I got no friends, no family. At the end of every episode there's an address so I thought I'd try and send them a letter. I never expected them to respond. Hell, I thought the guards would tear it up and laugh, but neither of those predictions were true. They... helped me. More than anyone ever had in my life. Even sent me a couple things when I hadn't asked. They're all I have."

4D wipes their face with their sleeve. Zero, unsure, raises their hand to their shoulder, but falls short of a comforting touch.

"..Thanks... Take care."

Zero sits in their cell when the next show comes end. They pen down the address on the screen, wondering if they were really going to go through with this. They write out their letter and hand it off to the only guard they trust.

"What do you do, when you've lost everything."

A response comes in a week's time.

"Hey, there!

First off, I want to say thank you for sending your letter in. From the address and the others I've spoken too, I know that you're going through a really tough time. It's understandable to believe you've lost everything, but there will always be a new ladder to climb to the top so long as you try your hardest. You may be in the dark for now, but the sun will shine again for you some day."

Zero loses track of how many times they read the letter. They can see eraser marks from when the writer rewrote their lines. It was the exact same penmanship as when the clown wrote their name on a drawing they had just finished, clearing out the possibility of it being an assistant on the show. Zero crumples the envelope and throws it in the trash, but tucks the letter under their pillow.

When they are released the following month, they're found sitting in front of the community television.

"Sunshine's beautiful this time of day, isn't it?"

"B...oss, I'm sorry, please."

Zero takes another drag of their cigar as his head is dunked into the freezing waters. The silence makes the scenario one for the books, but for some reason the sun just isn't as bright as it was on those dirty screens. They exhale as the bruised male is brought out of the sea once more.

"I forgive you, and now I'm letting go." They wave to the others on the boat. "Drop him. I don't want to be late for the show."

Arriving at the studio, a whiny voice drills from behind them.

"Aw, man- you got front row seats? Switch with your ol pal. Its the least you can do since I introduced you to them."

#Clown reader #yandere oc #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere scenarios #yandere blurb #yandere x darling #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere drabble

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briluvspnk · 3 months

Text

SWEET CITRUS ! — childe x fem!reader smau

🍊 | synopsis » the so-called class clown, childe, gets partnered up with his "happy crush", (name). little does he know that his "little crush" would be more than "just a crush", and that getting the attention of someone so focused with her studies would be as hard as passing the math exam he has next week. :')

#01 : meet before the cute

“Is this falling? I don't know yet It's too early to tell what you're thinking Or how I feel” —is this falling? by charlie bennett

🎵: is this falling? || tingin

One day, in 8th grade,

Childe caught himself staring. Again. How many times has it been? 5? 8? He swears it’s just pure coincidence. He spaces out sometimes and ends up staring at people, you know? And can you really blame him? It’s not his fault that you’re sitting right in front of him and Science class has been way too boring these days. Staring at you would be much more- what? No. No, he swears he doesn’t care about you—

“Childe? Hey! Tsk. Childe!”

He blinks. “O-oh, hey, (name)! Uhm, what’s up? Haha!”

You roll your eyes, “Were you even listening? Sir partnered us up for the activity.”

“Sorry, what activity?”

You sigh and take out your books, papers, and pens while explaining to him the instructions for the task.

—But he notices how most of the things you own are in your favorite color. He notices how you’re wearing a new jacket today and you forgot to wear your usual accessories. He notices how your writer’s callus has gotten worse because of how much notes you’ve taken. He notices how you fidget with your fingers and the pen when you’re thinking.

You look up from your notes, “Do you understand?”

He snaps back from his thoughts and gives you an innocent smile. “Yup!” He doesn’t get a single thing. “Nice! So, can you do this part for me? I’ll handle the rest.” If it’s for you then he gladly will.

* * *

At lunch, he finds himself immediately looking for you. His friends' chatters fade into the background and everything else blurs until his eyes set on you.

You're right there, smiling and laughing, joking around with your friends. He notices how cute the way your eyes practically close when you smile. He notices how you cover your mouth when you laugh. He notices how you're carrying your notes because there's an exam today, but you can't really focus on reading through them because of how chaotic your friends are. He notices how you bring out a new wallet. He notices how you constantly ask your friends what time it is because you forgot your watch today and god forbid you come late to class. He notices how you cling onto your friend's shoulder as you walk back to class. He notices how you greet other students "Hello!" and remind your groupmates to send in their assigned part by today when you bump into them.

* * *

After school, he notices how you stay a bit longer in the classroom to clean up and fix up the shelves and chairs. He notices how you watch your friends train and play. On days where your friends don't have any training and go home early, he notices how you walk around the school alone and enjoy looking at the plants while waiting for your service. He notices how, sometimes, you would bump into other students you know from other sections and start discussing the recent lessons and exams with them to pass the time. He notices how-

"Childe! DUDE! Hello???", he hears his friend Xinyan call him. "What is wrong with you? You've been spacing out a lot."

"Ha! Probably because he's staring at that girl a little too much.", Kaeya snickers.

"Ooo~ Is it the new girl?", Hutao points at you.

Childe blushes and grabs Hutao's hand. "Don't do that! And no, I am not staring at anyone."

"Then who's got you so... like this?"

"No one! Well, maybe I have been kind of noticing... someone...? I'm just being an attentive and aware person! Is that so bad?"

Kaeya pats him on the back, much like how a big brother would to his sibling. "Oh, Childe... my dear, dear, Childe... you're interested in someone! But I guess it wouldn't be so obvious to a hopeless romantic like you." "Oh, shut up Kaeya."

He turns silent, and at first it looks like he's giving his friends the "silent treatment" from how annoyed he was. But really, he just wants to look at you again.

If he really does like you, then is this really just it? Is it really just stolen glances, soft smiles, and staring and wanting from afar? Or will he make his move one day?

No, that can't be. This is just temporary. This is just a simple happy crush. Right?

masterlist » previous » next

🌻 | a/n » OH MY GOD 1ST CHAP FINALLY??? took so long cuz i didnt like how i wrote it at first + school is kicking me in the ass. this is my first time writing an actual fic + posting so uhm ya :> also imo "tingin" fits this chap sm better so if you're filipino i 100% recco listening to it. this is js a lil warm up lololol... the story really starts in chap 02. ALSO this is a flashback thingy

📨 | taglist » [closed]

@kentply @ssock @hanilessa @inlovewithlondonn

#🍊 sweet citrus!#childe genshin impact #childe x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #childe #genshin imagines #genshin x you #childe genshin x reader #genshin childe #genshin fanfic

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felice-jaganshi · 1 month

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My Fallen Apple

Lucifer X Reader

Chapter 3

It's been a week, and you've been texting Lucifer every day since you left. You sometimes send him selfies with your friends or new places around heaven, and he does the same, sort of introducing you to the seven sins and the other rings through the pictures. It's a great time, really!

But now comes the hard part. You told your friends you had a “secret date” with someone and refused to say who. You also told them not to worry if you didn't answer anything till the next morning, as that just meant the date went really good.

You made your way to where Adam had shoved you off before. You thankfully had managed to avoid him for the week. He was apparently “very busy” with higher angel stuff, not that you cared.

You took a deep breath, making sure your phone and backpack were secure before taking the leap!

You were free falling for a majority of the fall, pulling out your wings only when the castle was in sight. But before you could get too close something like a white missile came zooming up to meet you!

“You came! You really came back!” It was Lucifer, he'd come up to meet you halfway. He looked stunning, his wings out and on display. You can't help staring.

“wow… I've never seen someone with six wings before! Everyone I know has two or four.” He chuckled and danced around you in the air, showing off.

“Well, I am the strongest angel ever created by the OG big man himself.” You giggle at his antics, he was such a charmer. Suddenly you find yourself scooped into his arms, “come on, I got something really cool to show you!”

You tuck in your wings and let him carry you around. He opened a portal and flew through. “Now, normally human souls can't go to the other rings, but since I'm literally the king , I can get you special exceptions to go anywhere at all, as long as you're with me.”

He smiled, it had a smugness to it. Pride. But it was different from when Adam was being prideful and showing off, this time it was endearing and charming. Rather than obnoxious and irritating.

Next thing you knew, he was landing in front of a fancy restaurant. “A good friend of mine runs the place. I booked us a reservation.” As you entered there was sensual music playing and demons everywhere. But really, they didn't look that much different from angels. Other than a darker color palette on average.

As you were seated, almost immediately a giant demon made mostly of blue fire rushed over to your table!

“Luci, baby! Oh it's been so long since you dined at my place!” He scooped the king up in his arms and squished him to his chest, rocking back and forth and looking so happy!

“Oh come on Ozzy! Has it really been that long?!” He laughed, and hugged back. Ozzy frowned and set him back down.

“Yes. Ever since you and She had a fight here, you haven't been back. That was 30 years ago, luci.” You hide behind the menu while this back and forth occurs. Another demon suddenly comes up behind you and grabs your chair, leaning over you and looking upside down! You drop the menu and try not to scream from surprise.

“And who's this little cutie? Is she the one who finally got you to leave pride and visit all of us?” His voice was raspy and he looked like a clown.

“Hi… I'm-” before you can say your name, he turns your chair, making you spin round in circles for a bit.

Lucifer smiled, “yeah she is, my new best friend.”

Ozzy gasped, “new best friend? Am I being replaced?!”

“Hey hey, no! Buddy! You're my brother, all, well, 5 of you are my family! I love you guys! She's just the newest addition to that family. That's all.” He then smiled at you. You were so dizzy you could hardly hold his gaze. “Yo Fizz, I think you overdid it.”

Fizzarolli looked you over, “oops. Sorry babe, you alright? No hurling on me now.” He made his way back to Ozzy's shoulders.

“I'll… be fine. Just gimme a second.” You take a few seconds to reorient yourself and take a sip of water before smiling at him. “All good.” He smiled back at you.

“Good, I hope this isn't too much for you. This is only your second time hanging out with me.”

“Hm, only second time and you brought her to my place? Luci, you certainly do move fast! And I thought I was the master of lust~.” He teased Lucifer, then went to your side. “Thanks for getting him out of the house sweetheart, we owe you a big one.” His voice was really sweet and he placed a warm hand in the middle of your shoulders.

“It's been a pleasure to know him. Did you say you're the master of lust? Would that make you…”

“Asmodeus, the sin of lust, at your service baby girl.” He winked. “Would you like any recommendations for dinner? I can tell you all of Luci's favorites.”

“Oh, sure.” You were a little nervous now. “I'm not used to being anywhere this fancy. I feel like I'm underdressed for this kind of place…”

“Oh honey, don't worry about that. You're literally here with a king. You can get away with anything when you're with him .”

_______

After dinner, Lucifer took you back to his castle and you looked at more duckies together.

When he turned his back, an impulse came to mind. Hide in the pile of ducks. And well, why the hell not?

“Oh and this one- Becca? Hello?” He looked around and didn't see you. He then heard a squeak from your pile as you accidentally squish a duck. He grins, his voice going low, “oh my, looks like i got a rogue angel to hunt down.” He then chuckled and you felt butterflies in your gut. Oh no, why was that hot?!

The next thing you know, he's diving into the pile of ducks! He quickly finds you and you're now pinned beneath him, “So, what was the plan from here? Wait for me to leave so you can run around my palace unsupervised?” He smiled like the cat that caught the canary and tilted his head to the side.

“Um… there wasn't really a plan. Just sounded like a fun thing to do.” You were blushing and nervous, you placed your hands on his shoulders, not sure if he'd try to make a move or not. Would you even be upset if he did? He seems to suddenly become aware of your positions as you touch him. He pulls back quickly!

“Oh, whoops! Sorry Becca, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” He adjusted his tie nervously, standing up. You get up as well.

“I'm not uncomfortable Luci. But, if you wanted today to be a date, you should have said so. I would have dressed nicer.” He looks shocked by your words, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“No no no no!” He waves his hands dramatically before pointing to his ring. “I- I just wanted you to meet my friends! I'm totally married!” He was panicking now.

“But your wife has been missing for seven years?” You have to ask, “Did she take your daughter with her?” He sighed and shook his head.

“No, Charlie is an adult doing her own thing, that's all. And lilith… She and I… I don't know anymore. She promised me forever, and I want to believe this is just a rough patch and we'll get through it but… she hasn't even spoken to Charlie all this time either…” He looked more upset by that than her leaving him.”

You give him another hug, “mind if I stayed the night? I brought a change of clothes and a toothbrush. I wanna spend more time with you.” He hugs back.

“Yeah, I have a guest room you can stay in.”

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #fallen angel #fallen apple #lucifer x reader #lucifer magne #fizzarolli #helluva boss ozzie #fizzarozzie

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klbwriting · 2 months

Text

Not Romeo and Not Juliet

Chapter 1: Mingle Yarn

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: fighting, mentions of broken bones and blood

Summary: Jason Todd was alive again. Not only that, but he was back in high school, living with Dick Grayson, and just trying to get by without anyone noticing him. That doesn't go as planned.

Notes: Here it is! Dueling prep schools! Enemies to Lovers! Theater Nerds! Shakespeare! A true rom-com! Jason as a senior and a theater kid! I'm messing with the canon immensely so let's just call this an AU or Elseworlds story where Jason was killed in a similar way to Under the Red Hood movie, but instead of the LoA going and getting him Dick has the falling out with Bruce over Jason's death and he goes to resurrect him without Bruce knowing. He takes Jason to live with him in Bludhaven and enrolls him in Bludhaven Prep so that he can readjust to living and to leaving Robin behind. I hope you enjoy!

The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together

— ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, ACT 4 SCENE 3

“Jason, you have to get going or you’re going to be late,” Dick Grayson called through the apartment. He knew Jason wasn’t exactly excited to start his senior year of high school and he couldn’t blame him if he was being honest. Just a month ago Jason had been murdered by a clown and just a week ago he had been revived in a pit of green goo protected by assassins. They had only agreed to let Dick revive him because they were the reason Jason was even killed in the first place, so it was honestly the least they could do. Dick was still coming to terms with who came out of the pit, not Jason but not not Jason either. While pre-Lazarus Pit Jason had been happy, funny, and kind of scrawny, this Jason was moody, stoic, and big. He wasn’t sure how the 17-year-old had gone from around skinny 5’8 to a jacked 6’1 during a bath but it was what it was. Now he was staying in Dick’s Penthouse in Bludhaven, Bruce had no idea he was alive, and he was starting his senior year at Bludhaven Prep and Dick was hoping getting him back out there with kids his own age would help him readjust to living again. The therapist that Dick hired, the one Clark Kent recommended, had given approval for him to return, saying he was mentally able to be around others, but considering no one knew how the pit might affect him they would still be watching him closely. Dick stood very still in the dining room, waiting until he heard feet stomping down the stairs from the loft area that Jason had taken as his room.

“I’m here, I’m here,” he grumbled, sitting down in front of the plate of eggs and bacon that Dick had made for him. Jason took two bites and made a face. “I am making breakfast from now on, this tastes like shit.” Dick rolled his eyes as he watched Jason clean his plate of the ‘shit’. “Why am I going to school again anyway? Bruce pulled me out to be homeschooled when I was freshman.”

“Ya Bruce also had you running around in tights and you’re not doing that anymore either. At least not until we know that no side effects from the pit are going to cause problems,” Dick said, putting a bookbag on the chair next to Jason. Jason glanced at the bag and then at Dick. Dick was once again struck by how different Jason was, yet he could still see the kid Jason was in those eyes. They weren’t same, they could never settle on what color they wanted to be, blue like before, green like the pit, even brown sometimes, a muddied version of the two. But the vulnerability was there, even though Jason was desperately trying to hide it.

“Fine, I see your point,” Jason muttered, grabbing the backpack before heading to the bookshelf. He grunted. “You need better books, honestly, some actual literature would be nice.” He gave up on finding something, grabbed his phone and took off towards Bludhaven Prep.

The car ride over was nice, then the rest of the day started. Jason knew he was weird, new kid as a senior, eyes that didn’t know what they were, and that black hair with the one tuft of white streaking across the front. He would be as rich as his big brother if he had a dollar for every time someone asked him about that during the first class alone. By the time the day was over he was so tightly wound he wanted to bust. It didn’t help that some football player had decided that Jason was going to be his target for the year. It started with an ‘accidental’ tray drop at lunch that left yogurt and milk across his new sneakers. Then in study hall a football to the back of the head. Finally, what really broke Jason, was the walk from the front of the school to the back where the cars were lined up. Jason was straggling, hoping that the jock would have gone first, and he might have peace, but no. He started walking around the side of the school, no one around at first, when from the back came the jock and two friends. The guy was cracking his knuckles like he was some gangster in a movie. Jason rolled his eyes and dropped his bag, knowing where this was going.

“You seem to think you can just come in and take over my school,” the jock said. Jason let out an annoyed breath. He hadn’t spoken to a single person that, hadn’t raised his hand once, he had barely listened, why did the fact that he was an inch taller than this guy make the jock so insecure? He didn’t want to deal with it.

“Can you just try and hit me, and we can get this over with?” Jason asked. The jock’s friends let out snorts of laughter and that seemed to enrage their leader, who threw a wild punch that Jason dodged easily and then Jason threw a jab right at the guy’s face. He did forget that he was bigger now, stronger than before. He was surprised by the blood, but the ear shattering crack of bone and the shriek that the guy let out did surprise him. Jason took off, running around the back of the school and jumping into the car to get home. Great, first day and he had probably just broken that guy’s eye socket. He was getting expelled. At least he wouldn’t have to wear the student uniform anymore.

By the time he got back Dick was already on the phone with the headmaster. Dick pointed at the couch and Jason sat, not wanting to but he knew it was pointless to argue. Dick had literally brought him back to life, he could sit there and take his punishment without argument. He had just shattered a guy’s face; he probably deserved the tongue lashing.

“-I understand but you have to remember that there were no cameras, no actual witnesses other than this Mr. Harrison’s friends, it seems like a he said, he said situation which will not make anyone on the school board happy. Especially when I pull my funding for the new football stadium,” he said. Jason rolled his eyes. Dick had definitely graduated from the Bruce Wayne school for getting out of shit. “Of course, I am glad that we could work this out. And of course, any injuries will be taken care of, but no mention of who the fight was with? Thank you so much for your discretion.” Dick hung up and rounded on Jason. “Care to explain?”

“Some football asshole decided I was too tall for him,” Jason said. Dick pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to remember why he had decided to take in a teenager. “Did you have to break his orbital bone?”

“I forgot about my biceps being the size of my head,” he mumbled. Dick actually chuckled at that. “He threw the first punch…”

“You look uninjured…”

“You think I would let an idiot like that hit me?” Jason looked shocked. Dick sighed and looked at his watch. Then at his phone clock, like it would be much different.

“I am going to be late for my date with Barbara, stay here tonight, get your homework done, there’s food in the fridge and tomorrow we can talk about this more,” Dick said, buttoning his suit jacket and grabbing his wallet. Jason just nodded, pulling out a book that he had gotten at the school library. That at least had more options than Dick’s place. Dick took one more glance at Jason before leaving.

Around 9PM Jason was starting to climb the walls. He had this nervous energy and he didn’t know how to relieve it. He tried to think of something. Parkour? No, he was angry. Video arcade? No, not enough movement. Then he remembered the underground fights that he and Batman had once raised over in his old neighborhood, Crime Alley. He figured the fights were probably back by now, they wouldn’t be down for long. He knew he couldn’t show his face, Dick didn’t need the stress of him being caught in Gotham, or God forbid Bruce finding him, so headed down to the garage that Dick kept on site. He started searching the sports equipment that he had, grabbing an old school goalie’s mask. Very Friday the 13th, and hey, his name was Jason. But the white, no, that wasn’t his color. He looked around, finding some spray paint in another section and he painted the mask red. Nice. He grabbed an old black hoodie, shoved the mask inside the pocket and taking one of Dick’s bikes.

It took him about ten minutes to remember how to drive a motorcycle, apparently death didn’t keep memories of driving in his brain. He almost wiped out five or six times before finally crossing over into Robbinsville and then up into Crime Alley. He stowed the bike behind a dumpster near a Big Belly Burger before heading into a laundromat. He walked to the counter that was helmed by a short woman with dyed blonde hair.

“I’ve come for some good smelling socks,” he said. He hoped these types didn’t get change their code phrases, it was the only one he remembered. The woman nodded and pressed a button, motioning to the side door that said ‘Employees Only’. Jason went through the door and down the stairs, donning his mask. The guy waiting at the bottom looked him over.

“50$ to watch, 100$ to fight,” he said. Jason nodded and turned over his 100$ and the guy pointed him to another woman with a clipboard. Jason headed over to her.

“Name?” she asked. Jason scrambled. “Name?” she repeated, louder and more annoyed. The other fights nearby were starting to watch him. They weren’t too much bigger than him, he might have a good chance. Either way he could blow off some steam.

“Mask of the Red Death,” he said. She cocked an eyebrow and shook her head.

“Too long, you’re Red Mask,” she said. He nodded, very creative. Poe would be proud. “You’re finding Butch first.” She pointed to a large man with muscles in places Jason didn’t know you could have them. They were for show, not strength, not fighting. This guy wanted to look good, not actually be good. Jason watched him as they entered the makeshift cage. He circled the guy, letting him come to him. Butch threw a punch, Jason dodged behind him, and Spartan kicked him in the ass, sending him tripping into the glorified fence surrounding them. The fight went on for only a few more seconds before the guy came back, trying to kick Jason, who slide to the side, grabbed the guy’s leg and slammed his elbow into his knee. There was a crunch and Butch fell, howling in pain, unable to get up. Jason was announced the winner and stepped out, heading towards a back door to get some air. As he opened the door to the basement walkout, he heard a commotion and turned, seeing cops starting to come down the stairs. He knew they would be going to the back door next, so he took off, mask going back in his pocket and climbing a nearby fire escape until he was high enough to hide in the shadows above the streetlight. Once the cops that found the back were inside, he climbed down, running to the alley where he’d left the bike. He was just moving the dumpster again when the back door to the Big Belly Burger opened, making him jump in surprise and slice his hand on an exposed piece of metal inside the trash. He let out a grunt and the teenage girl in uniform turned to face him.

“Are you ok?” she asked, walking over. Jason was gripping his hand, trying to stop the bleeding so he could get the bike and leave. “Hold on, I have a bandage.” She pulled out a roll box of bandaids from the apron pocket.

“Clumsy are you?” Jason asked, trying to distract from the annoying ache in his palm. She chuckled and walked over, pulling a cotton ball out of the packet.

“No, we have a griller who thinks he’s a ninja, any time he gets his hand on a knife I have to be ready to stitch him up,” she said. She started dabbing his hand and Jason once again hissed. “What music do you like?”

“I uh…I don’t know, I used to like metal, some alternative stuff, but went through a change this summer…not sure anymore,” he said, confused. “Why?”

“Well, one this is distracting you from me disinfecting this thing, so you don’t get tetanus, and two, you live in Crime Alley, don’t be a stereotype. If you think you might like something different than ‘I grew up in the slums, so I just listen to angry shit’ try Noah Kahan, you look like a guy who’d like him, or Hozier.” He could tell she was just throwing out names to keep him listening and he appreciated it. “What’s your name?”

“Jason,” he said. She nodded and smiled, finishing with the bandage.

“Nice to meet you, I’m YN,” she said. “Want some help with the dumpster or are all those muscles working?” She winked at him, and he actually blushed, glad it was dark and she might not notice.

“Sure,” he said. Together they moved the dumpster, and he got the bike. He waved quick before driving back to the penthouse. He got as far as the elevator door, when it opened there was Dick.

“So, I see you had an interesting evening,” he said, holding up his phone where video of Jason breaking Butch’s leg was being shown. Of course, Dick would realize it was him, he would know that move anywhere, Dick had taught it to him.

“I needed to get out, blow off some steam, forget who I was for a bit,” he said. Dick nodded.

“Good, then what I just signed you up for will be perfect,” he said. Jason looked at him, eyebrows raised. “You’re not a member of the theater program, auditions for Hamlet are Friday.”

“You can’t be serious,” Jason said, heading out of the elevator.

“I am very serious, you go to school, go to practice, be someone else for awhile when you’re there, and then you come home and you stay here or I am calling Bruce and sending you back to him, see how Batman deals with your shit,” he said. Jason sighed, heading up to his room. Fine, theater, he’d wanted to do that before Bruce pulled him from high school. How bad could it be?

#jasontodd #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #redhood #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #notromeo

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jewishdragon · 2 months

Text

Am I the weird kid for growing up liking clowns?? i mean?? did yall not like The Big Comfy Couch?

Several bday parties had clowns hired. I realized then at a later party that hired a magician it was the same act (the same jokes and magic tricks) just the clown wore a clown outfit and made balloon animals and the magician wore a suit.

Maybe that was a my hometown thing? to have a clown come entertain the kids for 2 hours before cake and everyone going home?

Also my parents gave me a book on the history of clowns/kinds of clowns. i still have this book somewhere

#anyways im watching modern family and #cam's clownsona is fucking amazing #he gets so much hate for it BUT I LOVE FIZBO #fizzbo?#idk how its spelled but he looks so good and so funny!!!

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ghost-rattan · 7 months

Note

Hello! I hope you're doing well! Can I please request romantic Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma (seperate) with an extremely intelligent and calculated SO (Male or gender neutral if possible pls) who looks like a cinnamon roll? Like, reader looks innocent and eccentric and easy to manipulate but that could not be further from the truth. Like reader could be playing chess with Fyodor and talking about some random nonsense, beats Fyodor at chess and just walks away like it's nothing. Also, reader LOOOVES flustering the characters because they're smart and know exactly which buttons to push to get the best results. TLDR; reader has ultimate IQ and ultimate rizz XD

S/o with high IQ (male reader)

OOO! I was so excited when I saw this ngl! Hope you like it!!!

Fyodor

He thought he could read you like a book

His sweet innocent boyfriend

He knew you where smart just didn't know that you where that smart!!

He first noticed when he was organizing a mission for one of his men

He was taking a break looking at his map with a marked out way to get in

"you know this way would be better"

he looked at you amused

"my, I seem to have missed that, what a cleaver boy you are~"

But the moment he really noticed it is when you where playing chess

he was going easy on you

"Wow! You might be handsome but you can't read the room can you"

"hmm, what do you mean mishka?"

"I can tell you are going easy on me pretty boy but I can assure you I can win with out your help"

"fine then"

you guys started again and while he was judging every move you made you where chatting to Nikolai about the circus thats coming to town

much too Fyodors surprise and annoyance you still won

"..."

"Oh! I win! But I think the acrobats will be the best! No clown can compare to you Nikoali~!"

He was so pissed off after that but he did learn not to underestimate you

After that he does play little games off wit with one another (thats how he flirts now)

Nikolai

"MY HUSBAND! You look so cute!" he tells you this everyday

"Oh My! What a complement coming from the man who is in the lead for most handsomest man ever!"

"My little cutie! I am in no need to be in any competition unless its one for your heart!"

He is a hardcore flirt so you both often have little flirt wars with each other

His pick up lines are horrible though well they are creative

while you can come up with pick up lines that always fit what you both are doing

Fyodor thinks you both are a good duo

Fyodor also likes you because when you and Nikolai attend a meeting you often have a long talk with Fyodor about a book you both where just reading (DOA book club when?)

You and Nikolai once went on a mission together and you both had to split up for a bit

when Nikolai got back to you the enemy had found you first and was trying to get you to back stab and betray Nikolai!

Nikolai hid to see what you would do

"Join me, we can take better care of you pretty boy, better than that stupid clown can~"

"really..?"

Nikolai felt his heart break

Before any thing could happen you looked at Nikolai and smiled

You honestly would have just punched the guy but you knew not to underestimate him as you knew nothing about him

so you came up with a plan by looking at your surroundings

you saw a fire extinguisher

you got up and ran to grab it

the man went to use his unknown ability

but you grabbed the extinguisher and threw it at Nikolai who used his ability to hit the man from behind leaving him on the ground dead from the blow

Sigma

(I love him sm)

He thinks he is the one who has to protect you

If he doesn't what type of boyfriend is he

The first time you visited the casino you wanted to play some of the games

he was going to rig all off them for you to be able to win

To his surprise you wanted to play black jack!

he was very surprised by how good your pokerface was

he was even more surprised by how easily you where able to win

He gets so flustered with your flirting

even before you guys started dating he would blush uncontrollably

Scared you would get manipulated by some one but once he saw a bunch of people trying to and you where able to be polite and tell them to fuck off

He often ask for your help with the casino

Honestly once he realised how smart you where he was kinda scared you would manipulate him (poor baby)

You often help new comers to the casino on how to play the games (he finds it so cute)

He wants you to teach him chess (he wants to beat fyodor)

IMAGINE THIS OK YOU VS FYODOR IN CHESS

You win and sigma just smirks in the back like that’s my boyfriend

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #sigma x reader

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siconetribal · 19 days

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Put It On My Tab: Chapter 10

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag:

@vbecker10 @wordsfromthemoon @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning:

Banter, Fluff, Wit, Book-nerdiness, and more floof

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, please check the master list for the previous chapters!

Jason watched her turn her mug in circles, press a napkin to make it smooth, and shift her plate as if to find the perfect lighting to make her pastry most photogenic. One half of her lower lip was imprisoned by her teeth, the other half jutting out to the side. It was not hard for him to conclude that she was nervous, which made him curious. What does she have to say about what Cici said? How serious could it be? Maybe she’s embarrassed about the bill? Wait, if she brings it up I can insist on paying!

“So ,” Y/N finally spoke up after what felt like hours of silence. “I have been in a dicey situation because of the Joker and his gang of clowns. Wrong time, wrong place, sorta deal.” She paused again, but shorter this time. “I have been hit by his Joker Venom, but I was treated in time. It was a gas and it wasn’t one of the more lethal variants or long enough exposure to be permanently disabling. It’s…not something I talk about either. Cici wasn't trying to lie or cause trouble the day you came in. She was trying to help me out, because I recognized you.”

Great , she recognized me right away and I was just chasing 1’s and 0’s in a useless IP address! His lips scrunched to the side as he slouched in his seat, his pride was thoroughly bruised.

“Don't pout, I was having a bad day, well week, and she was just trying to help me jot deal with another thing, and ended up blurting that out. So no, I’m not some lunatic because of it and yes, I’m perfectly normal, because who isn’t a little traumatized when living in Gotham City, right?”

“I would say ‘or insanely rich’, but they tend to be the actual targets and commoners like myself end up in the crosshairs.” She hesitantly added, seeing no flare of anger or annoyance, she sat up and took a bite of her flaky pastry of choice.

“Are you sure ‘perfectly normal’ is the best term for you?” He grumbled. “You recognized me and did your damndest to be unrecognizable, why? You even got your friend in on it and made me think you're someone,” his voice steadily grew louder and his tone harsher as he sat up straight while she steadily shrank back into her seat, ducking her head to avoid looking at him. Shit , not what I wanted to do! “ Forget it , who am I to get pissed at a little white lie? I’m no stranger to bad days either.” Like being held hostage and left for dead by the Joker. He quickly deflated back in his seat. His foot lightly nudged against hers, making her jump and look up. “I also think anyone who isn't traumatized living here is either off their rocker or they've only just moved in.” His gaze softened as he smiled, coaxing her to relax with him again.

“Being rich comes with its own style of batshit crazy.” He rolled his eyes. Like throwing cash around for giant galas to make yourselves feel better about ‘charity’ which will obviously attract all the other criminals in Gotham. The only difference between them is that one group is considered legal.

“Speaking of rich, you’re a Wayne, right?” Jason’s eyebrows shot up quickly before crashing down and furrowing together. “Cici told me, I was helping her with the drinks that day and she told me to not call it.” She quickly explained. “But that aside, what do I call you? Little Lordling? Littler Wayne? Wayne Jr the second? Wayne 3.0? There are a bunch of you, right? You're the second one, I suppose you'd be Wayne 2, or are you 3 because Bruce Wayne would be 1?” She thought aloud, watching his left eye twitch with each nickname she came up with. It was still oh so satisfying to see.

“Yes, I am an adopted son of Bruce Wayne and no , you can’t call me any of those.” His voice shook as his smile became a little strained, a little bit of a grumble in the undertones.

“Aww, not even ‘Little Lordling’? I thought that one would’ve won.” She pouted. The way her lower lip puffed and pushed out was adorable, but Jason needed to be strong. There's no way he was going to let anyone call him that. It would be the end of him if any of the other Bats heard of this. “So what do I call you by, oh nameless capeless savior?”

“How about you just call me by my name? Which you could’ve just asked me for instead of doing all this.” He rolled his left hand in the air as he gestured to the oddity that was this conversation

“It is absotively posolutely rude to demand such information! To ask without offering something of equal value is simply barbaric!” She scoffed and he snorted while trying to stop himself from choking on his drink. “Also, where's the fun in that? Now you'll remember me the next time you see me, you won't be so thrown off.” The smug grin on her face was frustratingly adorable and pleasantly annoying, he was not sure if he wanted to wipe it off her face or give her something else to gloat about.

“And charging someone for asking questions is not memorable enough?” One of his eyebrows rose up in question. “I feel like we’re well past dinner and a movie first.”

“Who says that's my cup of tea? Maybe I'm a video games and books kind of gal?” She raised an eyebrow of her own in challenge to him.

Damn, games and books? “Well you’re in luck. I’m a bit of both myself.” He smirked.

Oh that is cheating! You can't go looking like this, be a Wayne, and be into those! I’m trying to ask you for 4k, not a wedding ring! Her eyes narrowed as she leaned in closer. “There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”

“‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen, not bad.” Jason took a bite of his sandwich. Not bad, not bad. “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm,” he calmly replied.

“‘The Song of the Lark’, huh, ‘a bit’ is what you said, right?” Y/N sat back. “Consider me impressed again, Wonder Boy.”

“Quit calling me that,” he grumbled as his eye twitched.

“I have nothing else to call you.”

“Then call me by name.”

“I don't have your name.”

“You could ask.”

“That’d be rude, of course. We haven’t properly met.” She smirked.

“And how do we properly meet?” He leaned forward, resting an elbow on the table.

“Dinner and a good book.”

“Are you asking or telling?”

“That depends, do you prefer me to ask or tell?” She leaned in closer as well.

“Doesn’t matter to me, so long as you say yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” he grinned. “I guess it’s settled then. Now all I need is your number.”

“Wait, what? My number?” She sat back a little in surprise.

“Yes, your number, how else am I going to get in touch with you?” He extended a hand towards her and she, still confused at what just happened, robotically handed over said device, the screen unlocked. He quickly sent himself a text through her phone and saved his number in hers. “Thanks, sweetheart, I’ll be sending you the details later. On that note, I gotta run. See ya,” he winked and finished his drink before heading out, Y/N sitting there mouth agape and utterly confused. The bell chimed again before she could even process any of it as she quickly cleaned up and got behind the counter once more, the rev of a motorcycle fading into the distance.

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superhero--imagines · 1 year

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A/N: okay babies, you wanted it, I wanted it. Xavier Thorpe worst best HS bf let’s go. Reposting because the first time it got posted without tags and that's...embarrassing

Part 1 Here!

Okay so you remember how he like scaled a whole building to say sorry to Wednesday on the balcony of her dorm?

Yeah he does that with you all the time when you’re mad at him, or just having a bad day in general.

Usually there’s a few taps on your window and when you make your way outside there’s like a snack or some pastries for you, or a small bouquet of flowers or books or maybe a little love letter.

“Come on, how can you still be mad at me after I waited in line to get you those pastries you like.”

You wipe the crumbs from the corner of your mouth, you’re not really that mad anymore, and they were really good.

“I don’t know but I still am.”

He doesn’t have to know that though.

One time you walked out and there were candles all along the edges, a picnic laid out, and a sweet smile playing on his lips.

“I know you’ve had a rough week, and it’s not much but—” the words: ‘I wanted to do something for you’ die in his throat when you practically tackle him into a hug.

“Thank you.”

He 100% flirts by “teaching you how to paint”

“You have to be really set on what brushstrokes you want to use, see like this.” His fingers curl over your hand, the brush still clasped between your fingers is guided through the motions by him.

You can feel his breath flutter against your ear, the smirk that dances on his lips when he feels you fluster.

“You’re doing such a good job.”

Even though now that you’re comfortable you make a move every so often, he’s still the one who initiates like 60-70% of romantic gestures.

So if one day he hears a knock on his door as he emerges from the bathroom freshly showered after a run, and if you happen to be on the other side, one of his oversized hoodies cradled in your arms and pressed against your cheek as you look up at him. And if you say:

“It doesn’t smell like you anymore, I wanted the real thing.”

He might appear completely fine as he ushers you inside before the dorm master catches you, but I promise—

Xavier.exe is broken

It’s perfectly innocent, you sit on his bed like it’s yours, patting the other side and looking at him expectantly.

For once he’s glad Rowan spends all his time in the nightshade library.

He walks in stiff steps as he sits next to you.

There’s an awkward moment of silence, and you clasp your hands one in the other.

“Should I not have come?” Before he can get in a word edgewise you stand up. “I’m sorry, I’m probably bothering you—”

“You’re not bothering me.” He stops you with a hand clasped around your wrist, tugging you until your pressed against his chest. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Positive?”

“One hundred percent.”

You cuddle mostly, little whispers of conversation muttered as your head is placed on his chest, his arms around you.

“You smell good.” You mumble. He lets out a muted laugh.

“Yeah I just showered.”

A hand darts out to play with the ends of his hair, the strands somewhere between dry and damp.

“I like it when you keep your hair down like this.” You mumble, eyes meeting his as your twirl the loose lock around your finger.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it looks…I don’t know, sexier like this?” You tilt your head to side, completely unaware as you settle in against his chest again.

Xavier.exe is broken (again)

It’s not all sweet though, Xavier is great at banter.

“Dude, what is this?” You ask with a raised eyebrow at his clown makeup at the poe cup.

He gets a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Oh, it’s so hot it’s turning you on?”

“Um, you know how like in a movie the main character will make themselves uglier on purpose with a bad haircut or something to test if the love interest really likes them? That’s what this feels like.”

He gives a low whistle.

“But you still like me?” The corner of his mouth quirks up when you sigh.

“Unfortunately yes.”

Oh my god and for the dance?

Like, he’s likes you a lot, but not enough to not get some joy out of seeing you squirm as you fumble over the words.

He’s got these sadistic tendencies after all.

He’s on cloud nine imagining all the ways you could ask him, stuttering over the words, or hiding your face in his chest as you squeak out the request.

But you’re really dragging your feet.

“I thought we were already going together?”

“I don’t remember being asked.” He huffs, and your eyebrows shoot up in realization.

Oh, he wants to be asked. That’s fair. You can do that.

You grab his hand, encasing it in both of yours before holding it against your chest.

His ears start to get hot.

You tilt your head to the side, the softest sweetest smile on your lips.

“Will you please go to the dance with me Xavier?”

His ears are bright red now. Just like the apples of his cheeks, and the back of his neck.

He’s got a reputation to uphold though.

“I would love to go to the dance with you, thought you’d never ask.”

But then you kiss the back of his hand and his mind stutters to a stop again.

He sketches you in the corner of his journal sometimes, the same absentminded way you might scrawl someone’s name next to yours.

He’s not sure when he engraved your face in the back of his mind.

Or when the familiar shape of your eyes, the arch of your brow, the lilt of your smile, started to feel like home.

Just that he hopes it never does

#xavier thorpe #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe x y/n #xavier thrope fluff #wednesday x reader #wednesday #Wednesday imagine #superhero--imagines

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maskednerd · 6 months

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FNAF Movie parallel Theory/Incoherent Ramblings! (Spoilers ahead.)

Originally, I was gonna give my thoughts on the film but I'm bad at opinions so theory time it is! This is just for fun and to share my thoughts.

I've only seen the film once so I might have misremembered a few things here or there. But there's no harm looking for connections and parallel to the games/books!

Since Mike isn't an Afton... his dad could be a subtle parallel to Henry Emily. Which would make Garett and/or Abby a parallel to Charlie.

Of course, the Schmidt family still has elements of the Aftons. But with all the changes to the lore, the Emily roles could have been added on rather than being non-existent like it seems.

Now, you may be wondering if I'm just desperately digging for any sign of Henry Emily in this film cus he's my favorite character (aside from Michael Afton). And to that I say-

...

Shhhhhhh... Pretend it's not that obvious.

Anywho, let's get to some of these parallels! Shall we?

Aunt Jane… Aunt Jen? Her name being a possible parallel to Henry's sister in the books.

Kinda a weak point here but I'll include it anyways. The Schmidt family is showed to be Christian, evident by Mike remembering them gathered around the table saying grave before eating. "For one of you, the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend."

Mike mentioned that his father couldn't handle the lost of Garret, vaguely implying he took his own life. In both the books and the games, Henry committed suicide due to the lost of his child. Silver Eyes had the Suicide Bot and Pizza Sim had the fire. "I am remaining as well. I am nearby."

Garret's death happened before the Missing Children Incident. In the photo that Vanessa shows with her as a child next to her father as Spring Bonnie, she has the same toy plane Garret had when he taken. Which Mike notices. But, with that photo being at the Pizzeria, it's assumed it's still open during that time. Yet Vanessa mentions the Pizzeria was closed shorty after the 5 children went missing. That photo probably wouldn't exist in that form if the place was dealing with an police investigation and a threat of closure.

During Mike's dream sequences, Garret seems unnervingly calm. Almost as though he went willingly. Yet it wouldn't make sense, out in the middle of a forest, for William to be dressed in the SpringBonnie suit in an attempt to lure him. But, if William was a family friend and trusted by his father, it would be easier to get Garret into his car.

If Garret Schmidt was a random child he abducted and murdered on a mere whim, why would "Steve Raglan" recognize that last name? Unless he saw missing posters, the news of the disappearance, or was keeping track of the viticm's families, why remember that random child you killed back in the 80s? One that wasn't even a part of the Missing Children's Incident at Freddy's?

At the end credits, there's the "COME FIND ME" audio easter egg resembling "SAVE THEM." A minigame heavily linked to the puppet, despite the puppet making no appearance nor having a single mention in the movie.

As for Abby... that springlock suit she was almost suited in looked an awfully lot like Ella, one of Charlie's toys from the books. For a reference to Elizabeth, it could have been a clown or something looking like Circus Baby. But why that possible reference to Ella?

Haven't read Silver Eyes in a a good while, but isn't there a sequence where Foxy is chasing Charlie through an arcade? Where she hides behind one of the arcade cabinets, just like Abby does?

Are these just random references and easter eggs pieced together in an incoherent rambling? Indeed they are, thanks for noticing! But that won't stop me from pointing them out for no one else to read.

#boy howdy a surprise non Owl House post!#which there unfortunately will be more of cus I got other obsessions and I'm not too anxious to show them anymore #i need to think of something to tag these ramblings as #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers

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heartnosekid · 4 months

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well, friends. i’m sure a good lot of you have seen this post. i was denied today. i have to contact a lawyer and i don't even know how to begin advocating for myself outside of simply contacting the firm an ex-friend of mine used to obtain disability.

if you would rather not read the whole vent, i completely understand. but if you would still like to provide answers or support to me, here are my main issues.

i need advice from others who have been denied disability and have gone through a lawyer to obtain it. i need advice on what to do about getting started with victim advocacy. that's about it, i reckon. i love you all. my dm's are open. you will be blocked if you clown.

and yes, i realize my stim blog is not the place to talk about this. i understand, but this is my largest audience and i feel i would be a fool to not post this somewhere it may be actually received.

tw for mental health talk / long vent under the cut, particularly of the despairing kind, and also mentions of CSA / CSAM, psychosis, and my general disabilities. if this post needs more trigger tags, please let me know and i'll add them.

my whole life i have been treated as if i am not struggling because i can do the bare minimum to keep myself alive. i can survive, but never thrive, and even surviving now has become difficult. i can't feed myself regularly, my guardians do that for me. i can't stand for longer than a few minutes at a time without extreme duress and pain, which makes cleaning, showering, and going out super difficult and beyond draining. i can understand abstract concepts and certain ideas and am emotionally intelligent, but i struggle heavily with understanding money or how government works, particularly when it comes to laws and loopholes. i don't know when i'm "being had", as it were, and others have pointed this out to me throughout my adulthood. it feels as though this entire disability journey has been me "being had". they gave me something to cling on to, the possibility i may be able to receive real help, and it seems as though they basically knew the whole time they were going to deny me again. for the fourth time. i know that is unrealistic but, it does feel that way.

i wrote several full length books when i was a child / young teenager, and had two published. i won't share the titles because i have outgrown what i wrote and find them childish and frankly embarrassing, but everyone upon learning that i have written and had novels published, immediately jumps to the conclusion that i am some kind of self-sufficient, incredibly intelligent and capable person. i have never once been able to effectively take care of myself. without my guardians, i wouldn't be able to manage money, insurance, bills, cars, groceries, among other things. i don't even halfway understand how insurance on anything even works despite having been shown how it works.

i can see something, be "taught" to the best of someone's ability, and i will still not be able to learn. this has been a constant issue throughout my life, and the american public school system has continually helped these issues perpetuate. all schooling has done is teach me how to parrot back concepts and ideas, remember them for a limited amount of time before losing them to the void, and not how to fundamentally understand and learn them or utilize them in daily life. even higher education was like this, and i was not able to thrive throughout my experience with college despite making mostly okay grades (i cheated and lied a lot, okay. i'm not proud of it but i felt i had to get through or i would be severely punished). i had to a sign an agreement that i personally still do not fully understand to "obtain" my associate's degree, and i do not know why despite the fact it was explained to me, in detail. the information has not registered, and i now no longer have anyone that was involved in said agreement to explain it to me. everyone i say this to is like, "what? that doesn't make any sense." and i'm like. yeah. it doesn't, and i have zero ability to explain it to them in a way that makes sense.

i mention my associate's degree because i am sure in some form or fashion it was used against me in the disability process, since i was "able to complete higher education". also it should be noted i did an early college program. also probably has been used against me. also cheated through most of it.

people have always considered my kind of autism to be hyper competent, since it appeared that way when i was a child, despite showing several signs that i was struggling with a math-centric learning disability, called dyscalculia. i have since deteriorated to the point of barely having the knowledge a young adult should have, about how life works financially and honestly in general.

i have extreme fear about what may happen to me without proper assistance. my guardians will be able to take care of me for some time, but after that? that feels like a black hole to me. it doesn't exist nor will it while i am under-assisted, and this black hole fills me with utter despair. i try not to let it permeate my daily life, so as to not dwell in a future that doesn't exist yet and has the possibility for change. but god. it fills me with literal existential dread, and it is becoming so much more difficult to ignore the older i get.

a lot of factors have been used against me my entire life to deny me assistance, and these reasons being yet another factor has really dredged up a lot of shit from my past.

this is besides the point, but i also learned recently that CSAM was made and distributed of me when i was a child and wow. that has hit me in ways i cannot even describe. part of me is like, why was i not allowed to know after the fact, even when i became an adult? i was directly involved. why did no one tell me my abuser was convicted for counts of spreading CSAM, and that they lied directly to the court system about their inappropriate actions with me? i was disenfranchised in more ways than one by more than one person on allowance of my abuser, and i am just now hearing about it. i don't know how to deal and i don't know how to get started with victim advocacy in my area.

but at the same time, whilst being treated as severely more competent than i am, i have also been infantilized relentlessly, by nearly everyone around me. how does this make any sense. i feel incredibly stupid and uninformed and at the same time privy to things about my disabilities others are not, while not being able to effectively communicate it. i feel i am screaming and begging for help, nearly at my wits end with a lot of things, and all of it is reading as "owie booboo" to anyone who could do anything to help. i feel i am falling through the cracks, and i fear having to crawl back up through them. i fear i won't make the trek. i fear i will lose motivation and let myself rot. it feels like no one in a position of power has taken a true effort to really help me and i cannot help or advocate for myself. i am very scared.

on top of all of that stuff, i am withdrawing pretty heavily from cymbalta, experiencing heightened panic attacks every day, PNES (psychogenic non-epileptic seizures), more episodes of psychosis and hallucinating than i'm used to, all of my mental and physical issues are out of control, and now this disability stuff. i also won't be able to see a psychiatrist for...maybe a week or so more, so no bridge meds till then.

these last couple weeks have just really kicked me down. thank you for reading if you got this far. i appreciate you more than you know and i have no idea where i would be without y'all and this blog. i love you all so very much.

-ish

#ish talks #disability #vent #mental health #CSA mention #CSAM mention #physical disability mention #mental disability mention #psychosis mention #hallucination mention #dyscalculia #neurodivergent #autism #victim advocacy #PNES #ableism

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waitmyturtles · 7 months

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I Feel You Linger in the Air, episode 7. Tee Bundit, BACK on his bullshit. The episodes keep getting better.

Ooooooh, I am so full with this episode that I'm not sure I can conjure meaningful anaaaaalysis per se, so let me just yelp at a lot of the themes and elements that I took note of that I really appreciated seeing, and I hope this comes together.

So many oppressed people in this story. Fong Kaew, forced to marry to Robert, will stay with him to investigate the crimes against her family (FK was a TEN in this episode). Maey, sold into prostitution and abused. Eaeung Phueng (EP), likely arranged in marriage to Robert before Fong Kaew came on the scene. Nara, the character in the book that Yai reads to Jom, forced into marriage for her family's livelihood. Yai, comparing himself to Nara, talking about his own oppression vis à vis filial piety -- knowing that if he were to live his truth, he would be the reason for his family's ruin, as was hinted towards again and again in this episode.

Yai says to Jom, "if I had the opportunity to choose my own path, I would just want to spend time with the person I love." Even for a privileged individual like Yai -- his life, just like that of a servant in 1920s Chiang Mai, is prescribed for him. His path is determined. He must lead a straight and narrow life for the sake of his family's present and future.

Jom's life is also, interestingly, prescribed for him as a servant. Despite Yai's love for him, Yai has MANY competing pressures. Yai must dance with Uncle Dech's daughter at his father's promotional party. We are assuming now that that daughter will be Yai's future arranged bride. Yai also must see Jom as his servant, because -- well, Jom's his servant, and Yai asks Jom to continue playing with little Lek because, well, that's Jom's job. Jom clearly has already had enough of having his life prescribed for him -- we already know from earlier episodes that he wants Yai to think about the rights of the servants, and whether or not servitude is even ethical. But.... Yai's a son of 1920s Chiang Mai, and is just not there in his thinking yet.

The adults, very clearly, are also not progressive. They're the dinosaurs that get criticized so often in progressive Thai television (cc: so many of Jojo Tichakorn's works, and the GMMTV Midnight series from earlier this year). But -- the adults are also living their prescribed lives to earn and preserve the power, as Uncle Dech says to Yai's dad, that they've gained from generations past. Uncle Dech warns Yai's dad to keep tabs on anyone in his life that may take a path that risks Yai's dad's career. He asks Yai's dad: "Do you think that Yai is different from the past?"

I want to offer a small clown theory here, as my friends @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm both stated that "different" in this case might mean just that Yai is gay, which is highly likely true. However, I read that line the first time as meaning that Yai may have been caught in the past trying something out with someone (and my second clown theory is that that someone is Yai's dad's butler, Chan). I wonder if that's connected to Yai's hesitance about getting physically closer to Jom during the oil scene.

And: boy. That oil scene. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDES. MY HANDS. WERE SLAMMING. THE TABLE. NONKUL. ATE. THAT SCENE. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. (And I believe others are writing about the INSANE cinematography of looking at your beloved in mirrors, which happened a lot in this episode. STUNNNNNNINNNNGGGG.)

Nonkul as Jom is communicating just BRILLIANTLY without as many words as we'd expect. Jom's horny, baby -- before he time traveled, he was without his boyfriend, Ohm, for two years. And as a modern gay man, he might be used to things moving a little more quickly and openly, as the acceptance of queerness in modern days is so very much more open (but not entirely legal) in modern Thailand. Yai's certainly inexperienced, but I also read that he's fearful, and hesitant for his position and his future to feel totally comfortable in being open with Jom -- at least until the end of the episode, where (CLEARLY, I HOPE) they run back to the house in the rain and.... ya know. And: considering Yai's considerable immaturity in grabbing Jom at inopportune times to be caught (including within snooping lines of other servants, like LITTLE MISS GOSSIP CHASER, get outta here), Yai's likely going to be the reason as to WHY they'll eventually get caught and punished. And: considering Yai's station vs. Jom's station -- it might be Jom who gets a more severe punishment.... as the show hinted at at the very start of the episode.

(I need to stop my unwinding on the episode for a sec to meditate on a Tee trend. I just want to give him a big hug for this. I'm honestly not sure if Yai's dad, played by Nu Surasak, will change to accept Yai and his lesbian daughter, EP. But remember: Nu Surasak started out as a VERY unaccepting father to Gene in Lovely Writer. And he just ate that role, god, including the dad's revelation to Gene that he, too, was a queer man who struggled with acceptance and had to end a relationship because of the times he lived in, in which living and loving openly as a queer man wasn't acceptable and even safe. I see this theme as one that Tee likes treading; to choose a classic BL elder in Nu Surasak to take this role means a lot. Again, the history of this show will likely not allow Yai's dad to take Gene's dad's path, but this is clearly something Tee likes to play around with.)

Whew. Okay, more. I love when Jom kinda rolled his eyes at Yai during the apology scene in the house -- it is clear that Yai's really inexperienced at all this, and Jom, before time traveling to the 1920s, has had experience, in sex and relationships. I read in that slight exasperation (that melted into love, mind you) that Jom really needs Yai to get his head outta the damn books, and to pay attention to what's in front of him -- which Yai is not doing, as Yai continues to take risks in being with Jom out in the open.

But, dang it. While I was SCREAMING at the dudes to STOP dancing and making out in the open, god, WHAT A SCENE THAT WAS ANYWAY. An acceptance fantasy of dancing in front of their community. Their family and friends clapping in happiness to accept them. (Remember the wedding in Cherry Magic? The joy of having your community celebrate your love. I had so many crying face emojis to share in that moment, watching Jom and Yai dance.)

GOD. Tee covered A LOT IN THIS EPISODE. Secret love, for the ill-fated lesbian couple at the start of the episode, for Jom and Yai, for EP and Maey. Keeping your personal secrets secret for your safety. No hope of acceptance or openness. The literal threat of life lost. The threat of the loss of power among the powerful parental generation. Fates made by parents -- Yai prescribed into marriage, Maey prescribed into prostitution. EP needing to fight Robert at every angle for her own existence. The desire for acceptance. The way GOSSIP is used to harm people, for power, or (in a servant's case) maybe out of misplaced trauma for the servant's OWN station. And more, and more.

I am watching Tee with my Lovely Writer hat firmly on, watching him do a LOT with a LOT, seeing it continue to succeed well into a series, and being VERY hopeful about it. This show is SUMPTUOUS, and is not stepping away from what it needs to handle to tell a holistic and historical story of acceptance, and of Jom's fear and need to protect himself -- which he very well may not be able to do. Let's see what Tee and his source material can conjure for us. I love Only Friends, I do, I do, but IFYLITA is the show I'm looking forward to the most right now.

#i feel you linger in the air #ifylita #ifylita meta #i feel you linger in the air meta #bright rapheephong #nonkul chanon #brightnonkul #jom x yai #yai x jom #yaijom #nu surasak

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