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mytheoristavenue · 5 months

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Day 11-

BES Mizu x Reader - Winter Proposal

Summary: Mizu has to ask you something before leaving for London.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, sad, rushed/short, spoilers, takes place days after the last episode, grammar

Yesterday's events still played fresh in your mind. The sounds of gunfire, screaming, and metal clanging rang in your ears like a broken record. You'd sustained some injuries, thankfully not from any man-made weapon. You'd been trapped in a collapsing building and pinned under a burning beam. Luckily, Ringo found you and dragged you to safety, before hauling you back to where Master Eiji lived.

The night was spent with Ringo tending to your wounds and delivering news of Mizu's death to her father, who pretended not to be phased. You were unprofessionally diagnosed with a shattered ankle and varying degrees of burning on your legs and waist. Nothing fatal, thank God.

In your short time with Ringo and Eiji, you'd taken to being placed out in the nearby forest. Close enough to yell for help, but far enough to get away from the noise and heat of the forge. Of course, you still had to contribute in some way, so every morning, Ringo would set you outside with a task, usually washing clothes or dishes in a rudimentary tub, and let you watch the woods for anyone looking for trouble. In the evenings, he'd come back and hang the clothes on the line if needed, as you were in no shape to walk.

-----

On the third day, you sat in your chair on the edge of the forest, humming and mending clothes when you finally did spot trouble. A slender figure came hobbling through the woods, peaking out from behind trees when it heard a twig snap. You eyed the shadow cautiously, ready to scream out for the men to protect you at a moment's notice.

"Leave us be, stranger," you warned, brandishing a kitchen knife you kept to cut stray scraps of fabric for patches. "I may be vulnerable, but I'm deadly with a blade even still."

"I know you are," a tired, hoarse voice croaked. "I taught you that."

Your heart skipped a beat at the possibility before you shook the hope away. "You haven't taught me anything, stranger," you rebuked. "The one who trained me is dead."

Just then, the knife plummetted to the snow, let go of by your trembling hands. The stranger finally had inched close enough for their face to be unobscured by the light shining through the trees. Glacier eyes peered down at you from under shaggy chocolate fringe as she leaned against the nearest tree, waiting for you to react.

Without another thought, you left out of your chair, forgetting entirely about the searing pain in your brutalized body, but crumbled at her feet, clinging to her pants.

"My darling," she gasped softly, falling to her knees with you to hold you in her arms. "You're hurt, I'm so sorry, I didn't even know-"

"Where were you?!" you sobbed into her shoulder, making her fall silent. "I thought you were dead- we all thought you were dead!"

"I am," she corrected, bringing your hands from her shoulders to cradle them in hers. "For now, at least. You can't tell anyone I came to you."

"I-I don't understand..." you sniffled, (e/c) gems boring into her very soul. "You only came to see me?"

Her face softened and she smiled. "Yes, my love, I did. I couldn't leave without telling you where I was going."

"You..." you froze in her grasp. "You're leaving again? B-But-"

"But nothing," she corrected, sternly but with love. "I'm going to London to continue my mission." she confessed.

"London..." you repeated. "W-What's that? Where is that? Why can't we go with you?" Your head was spinning, you were so hurt and overjoyed and confused all at the same time.

"It's very far away, in another country. But I promise I'll be back." Mizu swore, pressing a kiss to your forehead with her palms on either temple. "I'm gonna finish my mission and I'll be back before you know it, and we're gonna live a normal life."

"We can't, you know that!" you argued but melted at her soothing touch. "Women can't be wed with one another, women can't buy property, women can't have kids together..." you trailed. "Besides, I know you'll never be done with this endless path of vengence..."

"I hate when you say things like that, my love," Mizu cooed. "Lips as lovely as yours have no place uttering words so violent. You leave all that talk to me." A moment of silence passed between the two of you before she mushed you away enough to hold you at arm's length. "I promise you that I'll be back, and when I am, I'm going to marry you, (Y/N)."

"But how..." you sighed, immense sadness for the death of a dream making your chest hurt.

"I'm a man in the eyes of the law." she smirked. "I can travel unaccompanied, own land and property, and marry who I damn well choose. And...I choose to marry you. If you'll have me?"

You'd never seen Mizu so enthusiastically sure of anything, short of destroying her bloodline. It made you feel incredibly special, the amount of passion she seemed to carry for this. "I'll have you, but I have a few conditions."

"Which are?" she cocked a brow.

You reached up and cupped her cheeks with both hands. "Come back to me in one piece, promise me you will."

Mizu smiled, studying your face lovingly. "I promise I will."

"And I want a farm near Osaka so I can see my family, and I want children to chase around the yard." you dreamed.

"A farm in Osaka, got it," she snickered. "Though knocking you up may be a different story."

"We'll adopt some!" you chirped.

"I think I can do that," Mizu sighed happily, nuzzling into your throat. "I promise a thousand times, my love."

Almost as quickly as she appeared, she was leaving again, begrudgingly tearing herself away from you. "Promise to write me," you sniffled, getting ready to cry again as she helped you back into your chair.

"I will, but it'll be under an alias." she agreed, brushing the hair out of your face and gathering your things to put within your reach. "But you gotta promise me something too."

"Anything."

"Darling, wait for me."

#mizu x reader #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu x reader #mizu x you #mizu x y/n #mizu fluff #mizu angst #blue eye samurai angst #blue eye samurai spoilers #lemons 25 days of christmas #christmas event

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harrysarchive · 1 year

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i'm okay baby: h.s.

pairing: boxer!harry x librarian!reader

summary:

"yes, is this y/n y/l/n. emergency contact for harry edward styles, date of birth february 1, 1994?"

"this is she." i whisper as my eyes water and anxiety rushes throughout me, my heart drops to the pit of my stomach.

"we're just calling as you are the emergency contact for mr. styles, to let you know that mr.styles is at The Royal London Hospital, seeking treatment."

harry's injured and y/n's his emergency contact

another story for a fight for us

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘'𝐒

𝐏𝐎𝐕

i relax my shoulders and let the cool air of london graze my face, snow flurries cover the sidewalk as i make my way to my car. the feeling of someone hot on my trail makes my shoulders tense again, i turn around and see a dirty man, stood about 5'6 and built on the chunkier side along with two other guys. i raise an eyebrow at them as the one moves closer to me.

"can i help ya?" i gruffly ask and one of them smirks, yellow busted teeth glaring back at me.

"you lost us lots of money." he snickers, " 'nd now you're gonna pay."

the next actions are so fast i don't even know what's happening until i feel a punch to my jaw, one to my side, and another one in my back. i close my eyes before opening them and throwing a punch back, i don't make much progress as three people are on me. i don't watch where i'm punching as i continue to through one after the other. one of them manages to hit my eye before i feel something sharp hit my lower abdomen and another sharp pain right above my waist, pain takes over my body and i look down with hazed eyes. i watch as the two men pull out knifes and blood gushes out of the wounds, i double over in pain letting out a wheeze.

"be happy it wasn't your bitch." he grunts before throwing a kick to my back, one of them moving in front of me to kick my face and the other kicks my stomach.

"hey!" i hear a man from a distance shout and the three start to run in the opposite direction, "go after the bastards!"

fuckin pussies.

letting out grunts i feel a hand lay on my arm, i shuffle away and the man murmured, " 's okay kid, helps on the way."

"999 what's the address of you emergency?" i hear a female say before my eyes start to flash black and white like a camera going off before i finally close my eyes resting at the peaceful silence.

𝐘/𝐍'𝐒

𝐏𝐎𝐕

"i hope you love it as much as i do!" i smile at the girl handing her a bag that contains King Of Wrath.

" 've heard good things so 'm sure i will!" she says giggly before skipping out of the library.

skipping to the beat of a mellow song playing i make my way to the door and quickly turn over the sign, it flashes CLOSED to the outside world. i feel my pants vibrate as my phone blares my notification sound signaling a call is coming through. pulling out my phone, THE ROYAL LONDON is the caller, my eyes widen and i quickly answer the phone.

"this is y/n." i state as fear licks my body.

"yes, is this y/n y/l/n. emergency contact for harry edward styles, date of birth february 1, 1994?"

"this is she." i whisper as my eyes water and anxiety rushes throughout me, my heart drops to the pit of my stomach.

"we're just calling as you are the emergency contact for mr. styles, to let you know that mr.styles is at The Royal London Hospital, seeking treatment."

a tear rolls down my cheek and a sob racks my body, "what happened?"

"i cannot disclose information over the phone ma'am." she says with sorrow and tears run faster down my face.

"i'll be there as fast as i can, thank you for calling me."

"no problem, bye-bye."

panicking i grab my keys and purse before i'm out the door and quickly locking it behind me, not really caring if it actually locked. i rush to my car throwing it into drive as i speed to the hospital. my lips wobble, tears rush down my face and my cheeks are definitely puffed hoping nothing but the best for the only man in my life that's a constant. sobs rack throughout me, as i reach for my phone and quickly call niall.

"yo! wassup scholar!" he speaks cheerfully and i'm going to regret breaking his heart like this.

"niall," i stutter as a sob leaves my mouth.

"y/n? what's wrong? where are you?" he drops the cheerful act and goes stern within seconds, hoping it's nothing to serious

"harry's at The Royal London Hospital, 'm on my way. i just wanted to let you know, i know you're like a brother to him, it's only fair for me to tell you."

"what the fuck happened?" he snapped as i heard him rustling around his room.

"they wouldn't tell me." i cry harder as the hospital comes into view.

"be careful please, y/n. i'm on my way but i know harry would beat my ass if you were driving like a mad man." he stiffs a laugh and i let out a wet chuckle.

" 'm scared niall." i admit as i put the car into park, grabbing my purse and bolting out of the car heading towards the emergency section, "i'll see you when you get here yeah?"

as i make my way to the front desk all my worst nightmares consume me, what if he's in critical condition? what if he fell into a state of coma? i look at the the lady in the front desk and let out a shaky breath.

"my boyfriends here, his name is harry styles."

"can i get your identification." the younger lady asked looking off into space and smacking her gum, obviously not interested in her job.

i shuffle through my purse and pull out my wallet grabbing my id and handing it to her. she scans over it and nods handing it back, "room 104." she points to the left, "keep going straight and it's on the right."

thanking her i start a light jog in the direction she pointed me to and finally reach his door, i let out a sigh before taking a deep breath and walking in. as i step into the room i see him laying there a black eye is developing and his knuckles are bloodied and bruised. tears start escaping my eyes again as i sit next to him running a hand through his hair and placing a kiss on his forehead.

"why ya cryin' love?" i hear a groggy voice ask and relief runs through my body.

"harry." i cry kissing his busted lips, "you're okay."

"yeah 'm okay baby." he tries to smile but hisses.

"what the hell happened?" i demand and he shrugs his shoulders, "don't give me that shit harry. i won't stand by it."

"was walkin' outta the gym makin' ma way to the car and i felt people followin' me. so i turned around asked what they wanted told me i lost them lots of money and then the wankers started to beat on me. baby you know i'm good but three people on me, i cant ma heart. the punches were comin' from everywhere. one thing lead to another, i tried fightin, but they pulled a knife on me, well it was two knifes but..."

"two?!" i interrupt and he nods.

"got hit in ma tummy and side." he pouted causing a frown to stretch onto my face.

"oh baby." i coo and he pats for me to sit on the bed, "don't wanna hurt you fighter."

he breaks into a smile, "wont hurt me, promise."

rolling my eyes i move onto the bed and let him rest his head on my chest. running my fingers through his hair i cooed at him before he turns his head and looks at me.

"wanna know what would make me feel better?" he asked and i nod wanting to do anythibn in my power to make him feel better, "a kiss."

"my cheeky boy wants to be pampered?" i tease and he pouts, i place my lips on top of his and let out a sigh we move our lips in sync before i pull away as he hisses, "spoilt you lots huh?"

"dunno what ya talking' about woman." he huffs turning his nose to the air and looking away from me.

"and you're supposedly the toughest fighter in london, you're a big ol' softy!" i continue my teasing and he dramatically gasps.

"i am the toughest fighter!"

"okay! who am i killin'? 've been to jail once or twice! know my way 'round! 'm not scared of nothin'!" we hear someone barge into the room and i let out a giggle as i see niall walking in with a glare on his face.

"aw you'd go to jail for me." harry mockingly cooed and niall throws him the finger.

"you scared me you fuckass! had poor scholar turn into a nascar driver!" niall exclaims as he points to me and i still.

"shut up niall." i mumble before looking at harry who had his eyebrows drawn in.

"bloody hell is wrong with you woman?" harry exclaimed looking at me like i've grown three heads.

"oi! they didn't tell me anything over the phone! i was worried. had to be here as quick as i could!" i snap crossing my arms over my chest and turning my head away from him.

"don't look away from me peach! 'm scoldin you!" he tries to move my head to look at him.

"don't want you scoldin me!"

A/N: OH ME GEEEEE! HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING LOVE YOU LOAD!!!

-all the love,

xo🫶🏽

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles x poc #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry update #harry x reader #lhh supremacy #lhh #lhh!harry #librarians #harry angst #harrys house #harry's house album #harry fluff #boxer!harry #boxer au

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felizusnavidad · 6 days

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TTPD - my final thoughts

so... this album, according to taylor, came from a need to write. now i actually have the need to write this essay. it's an honest opinion, i gave it one last listen & i analysed all the lyrics. this is how i've spent my entire sunday. if you're a sensitive hardcore swiftie, don't even bother to read it. i've already lost a lot of followers because i was being honest lol. this is mostly for my friends, because they actually care about what i think. so i went through hell every song once again & those are my final thoughts (warning: i'm not being very nice & this is super chaotic & messy, but so is the album):

FORTNIGHT

super boring production & i usually love jack... i also can't believe it's the first single from this album? i like the music video tho. the b&w aesthetics are everything. she is kinda trying to sound like lana here, at least this was my first reaction when i heard this song. "i was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic" - what the fuck does that even mean, i hate this line. "all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february" - i feel like she is trying to be poetic but this is such a weird line? kinda reminds me of how the first verse of "red" (the song) was a masterpiece, but she kinda got lost in the second verse, it's like trying to write as many metaphors as you can but they are just... not good. sometimes less is more. "i love you, it's ruining my life" - i love the way she sings this line & this line in general. i kinda like post malone in the outro (even tho i don't listen to his music). i don't give a shit about the lyrics to be honest, it's just not doing anything to me, i'm so indifferent (except those few lines i mentioned). overall it's a boring song & a skip for me. i tried to like it but i just... don't.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

i don't hate this song, but i don't love it either. it has good moments. but it also has terrible ones. also, it's too damn long. i don't know. "you left your typewriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department, i think some things i never say, like who uses typewriters anyway?" - i absolutely fucking love those lines, simple words, nothing "big" but i feel like this is what i love the most about taylor's songwriting - when she's not tying to be poetic & she is just writing simple things like that & i kinda love the way it rhymes, can't explain but this beginning is so good!!! "who's gonna hold you" - i love the way she sings this line. "we're modern idiots" - i also love this. "nofuckingbody" - sounds like something i would say so i'll take it. "you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate, we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist, i scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever." - & here we fucking go... i hate the way it doesn't rhyme? i usually don't mind it when things don't rhyme but somehow it really bothers me here? also this is such a terrible line & it ruins the whole song for me... i like the melody in the bridge tho & i kinda like how she mentioned jack there? i don't know why.

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

i like the chorus? "once i fix me he's gonna miss me" - i know everyone loves that line but i don't??? i don't know, i just don't.

DOWN BAD

i kinda like the production. the melody is so great. "for a moment i knew cosmic love" - i just ADORE the way she sings it. "fuck it if i can't have him, i might just die, it would make no difference" - love it, so relatable. i don't have much to say about it but i like this song in general, it's not amazing, not a masterpiece, but i do like it & i will probably listen to it sometimes. maybe even add it to some of my playlists.

SO LONG, LONDON

beautiful intro, everybody say "thank you, aaron". i didn't love it on my first listen, it grew on me tho, i even love the production on this one now. it has simple lyrics, but it's beautiful. "so long, london, you'll find someone" - so simple & i love it. i love her voice in this song SO MUCH. "& i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free" - i hate how much i relate. "i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place... for so long..." - i had a mental breakdown today because of this one line. i can relate. also i think this is the best line in the entire song, at least to me.

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

nothing will ever save this song, even my boy aaron dessner. no, actually, the production is not bad, i have so many issues with the lyrics tho... "but daddy i love him! i'm having his baby! no i'm not but you should see your faces!" - i wanna die i wanna pretend i didn't hear it (also it's not only the fact that this line is fucking terrible, but the way she sings "his" - i don't even hear this word? the lyrics says it's there but i can't hear it? & it bothers me so much???). "stay away from her, the saboteurs protested too much" - is this line about us, the fans? the way i fucking laughed, this is embarrassing. (why is this song so long i hate it so much) ok, i hate how much i love the sound of the bridge because the melody is really really good there but the lyrics... "i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' & moanin', i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing, god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me, sanctimoniously performing soliloquies i'll never see, thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me and counteract the chemistry and undo the destiny you ain't gotta pray for me, me & my wild boy & all of this wild joy, if all you want is gray for me, then it's just white noise, & it's just my choice" - i'm sorry but the way i laughed I WANNA KILL MYSELF THIS IS TERRIBLE TERRIBLE I HATE IT SO MUCH SHE LITERALLY DIDN'T SAY THAT... wild boy, THIS IS SO STUPID OH GOD- i need therapy after listening to this song & i'm afraid she also needs therapy because this is just unhinged. i don't wanna talk about this song ever again, in a perfect world it doesn't exist. let's move on.

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

kinda nice melody, don't care about the lyrics at all because it's boring. also, why is she talking about marriage again, she is literally so desperate to get married it's almost scary. it feels like she doesn't even care who she's gonna marry, she just wants to get married, period. oh god.

FLORIDA!!!

i love the vibes, the production is FIRE! love love love florence in the second verse! "and my friends all smell like weed or little babies" - i know what she was trying to say, but i still hate this line lol it's so cringey. "well, me & my ghosts, we had a hell of a time" - love love love this line. ok, but to be fair, i don't know what this song is about, but i am vibing. i love it, it's good.

GUILTY AS SIN?

it grew on me, i love the melody, i love the production. i hate to admit it, because we all know what this song is about, but i actually genuinely love the lyrics. "oh, what a way to die" - love this line & the way she sings it. "i keep recalling things we never did, messy top lip kiss, how i long for our trysts, without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin?" - i hate myself, i love it so much, god help me. "i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault" - as a lowercase girlie i had no choice but to love this line. ok, idc, i love this song, crucify me if you want.

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

i love the production, i think it's one of the best songs on this album. the way she screams "who's afraid of little old me?" - LOVE THAT. "well you should be" - love that, it's powerful. i love the entire bridge, it's so good, i just don't like the line "you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me", because wtf, is this about her childhood home? come on taylor, please, be serious. i think the way she sings "that i'm fearsome & i'm wretched & i'm wrong" is my favourite part of this song. i genuinely love it.

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY I CAN)

i don't give a single fuck about this song, i just wanted to say the line "i can handle me a dangerous man" is so fucking stupid, now let's move on because i'm bored.

loml

she sounds really good in this one, i love the entire chorus, the way she sings "it's legendary", the way she sings "you told me i'm the love of your life" with sadness in her voice, i love it. somehow "if you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary" makes me think of "sometimes there's no proof, you just know" & i just made myself cry, idk. i hate "mr steal your girl" it sounds so bad in this song. bridge! so fucking sad!!! "it was legendary, it was momentary, it was unnecessary, should've let it stay buried" - i absolutely love this moment, probably my favourite part of the song. "you're the loss of my life" at the end... bro. it should be track 5.

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

the post chorus, omg i hate the production, it makes me want to kill myself, it sounds so bad, omg. i genuinely wanna die. "lights camera bitch smile" - i hate it. "he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short, breaking down i hit the floor, all the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more!" - i love this. i really do. the best part of the song for me. "i cry a lot but i am so productive, it's an art" - honey, no. this album is the best proof that it, in fact, isn't art. "cause i'm miserable & nobody even knows!" - but... we knew? (i can't stand this production for real) the ending, oh dear god i hate it so much, it sounds bad, it's terrible, taylor go to therapy because you're clearly not ok & it shows.

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

i don't have any thoughts on this song. it's boring & unnecessary, let's just move on (sorry aaron).

THE ALCHEMY

this is the worst song on the album (me about every song). "this happens once every few lifetimes" - taylor, honey, this happens to you with every single man. stop. get some help. all the football references make me want to kill myself, let's just skip it. it's boring anyway. i can't fucking listen to it. oh no, wait... "he jokes that it's heroin but this time with an E" - ???? even MY jokes are funnier. ok, i'm fucking done.

CLARA BOW

not a bad song but the "you look like taylor swift in this light" is so cringey to me. i hate it. it ruins the whole song for me. the production is really good tho, but i don't know. i'm so indifferent. i'm kinda disappointed with this one tbh.

THE BLACK DOG

it's a beautiful song. "old habits die SCREAMING!!!" - the delivery of this line, yes ma'am. "and i may never open the way i did for you" - i love it so much. also the lyrics in the entire song - so simple & beautiful, i love the storytelling here. the melody in the chorus is amazing. "and i hope it's shitty in the black dog" - yeah, me too. i love this song. it's so good & sad. one of the best from this album.

imgonnagetyouback

olivia rodrigo? hello? boring boring boring, i hate it

THE ALBATROSS

i love the production so much!!! i don't have much to say about the lyrics? i don't love it??? but it's fine i guess. but the production is really interesting, & sometimes that's enough to love the song. maybe it will grow on me. i like it now tho.

CHLOE OR SAM OR SOPHIA OR MARCUS

"if you wanna break my cold, cold heart" - i fucking love the delivery of this line, she sounds really good here & really sad. actually, the chorus is beautiful. "so if i sell my apartment, & you have some kids with an internet starlet, will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?" - hello? maroon reference? ok i love this, i also love the way things rhyme in this part of the song. the lyrics is so simple & beautiful, once again, less is more. it's a great song.

HOW DID IT END?

the "oh-oh" in the intro, LOVE IT. i really love her voice here. "my beloved ghost & me, sitting in a tree, D-Y-I-N-G" - heartbreaking. & thanks for mentioning me in a song. "but i still don't know, how did it end?" - it kinda makes me think about all my relationships (not only with guys but also with my friends) & how sometimes you really don't know how it happened that they are no longer a part of your life. it makes me feel sad. i love the song.

SO HIGH SCHOOL

"touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" - oh my god. this is so bad. it's so bad. i don't like it.

I HATE IT HERE

INSTANT FAVE, SO RELATABLE, THIS IS MY SONG!!! "i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind people need a key to get to, the only one is mine" - me as fuck. that i can say for sure. "no mid-sized city hopes & small town fears, i'm there most of the year cause i hate it here" - the way i literally realized that this is where i spent my last year, it's almost scary but this song definitely goes to my "when the truth pops out" playlist. i'm gonna pretend the racist line in the second verse doesn't exist. "lunar valleys in my mind" - i fucking love this line. "i'm lonely but i'm good, i'm bitter but i swear i'm fine, i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life" - OH MY GOD. I WROTE THIS SONG. I SWEAR. i relate to this so much. i hate it here. i love this song.

thanK you aIMee

so at first i liked it but then i realized it's about kim kardashian & i actually hate it now, taylor, please, can we finally move on? it's been YEARS, imagine how tired we are.

I LOOK IN PEOPLE'S WINDOWS

the production is good, i love the repetitions of "out", "now" etc. not much to say about it, but it's kinda nice? it's so short tho.

THE PROPHECY

i absolutely love the production on this one, it reminds me of "augusta" by gracie abrams & i love this song so much (also produced by aaron). i love the chorus & all the rhymes here. i don't... love the song in general, but i like it & i think it might grow on me.

CASSANDRA

ok, you know what, it's a nice song, but i am so damn tired of hearing about the same thing over & over again... 2016 was eight fucking years ago, taylor wake the fuck up & move on??? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE JESUS I AM BORED.

PETER

i am genuinely crying right now, because i only have one person in my mind when i'm listening to this song & the words "you were gonna come find me"... oh god (i've had one person in my life who said they were gonna find me one day when i told them i'm gonna leave this shitty town & move to the city of my dreams. they didn't find me tho. the biggest what if of my life. i wanna die right now). it's a good song. i actually love it, probably because it's so relatable for me.

THE BOLTER

i actually like this one. the production is great (good job aaron!), i like the lyrics, i relate to some of this, not gonna get into details tho. none of it is outstanding, but it's a good song. i'm just tired, this album is too damn long.

ROBIN

"way to go tiger" - i love the melody & the way she sings this line. it's such a sweet song & i just learned that robin is aaron's kid's name, i love it. it's nice. nothing amazing, not a masterpiece but i like it.

THE MANUSCRIPT

"if the sex was half as good as the conversation was" - i kinda love this line (no, we are not geting into the details of who this one is about. i just said i love this line). also what a way to end the album: "now & then i re-read the manuscript, but the story isn't mine anymore". i love it, because now these stories are ours. it's like i told bel on friday, i'm gonna make this whole damn album about me & my life.

if you made it to the end, congratulations. to conclude: taylor should have worked more with aaron, less with jack. i usually love jack, but this time i feel like i've heard it all before. i still think this is her worst album. it's too damn long (31 songs!!!). it has some of her worst lyrics ever. most of those songs were totally unnecessary. maybe the entire album was. i genuinely think she should just take a break. i am really disappointed with this album & i am mad as hell because i wanted to love it. well... i made my own version. i think i'm not gonna talk about this album anymore. i also think i need a break from listening to it because i am genuinely tired. bye.

#enjoy the essay #also: i'm sorry #gonna disappear now #ts #ttpd #why do you write like you're running out of time*

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fullstcp · 4 days

Text

"Lover" by Taylor Swift Sentence Starters

I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED

"I lived in the shade you were throwing until all of my sunshine was gone."

"I couldn't get away from ya."

"I forgot that you existed."

"I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't."

"It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference."

"I would've stuck around for ya."

"Would've been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show."

CRUEL SUMMER

"I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below."

"Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes."

"What doesn't kill me makes me want you more."

"It's a cruel summer with you."

"I'm not dying."

"We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times."

"We're not trying."

"I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone."

"If I bleed, you'll be the last to know."

"I'm drunk in the back of the car."

"I cried like a baby coming home from the bar."

"Said, 'I'm fine,' but it wasn't true."

"I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you."

"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

LOVER

"We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January."

"This is our place, we make the rules."

"There's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear."

"Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?"

"Can I go where you go?"

"Can we always be this close?"

"I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you."

"My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue."

"All's well that ends well to end up with you."

THE MAN

"When everyone believes ya, what's that like?"

"I'm so sick of running as fast as I can."

"I'm so sick of them coming at me again."

"If I was out flashing my dollars, I'd be a bitch not a baller."

"If I was a man, then I'd be the man."

THE ARCHER

"I say I don't want that, but what if I do?"

"I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you."

"I never grew up, it's getting so old."

"Help me hold onto you."

"Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?"

"All of my heroes die all alone."

"They see right through me."

"Can you see right through me?"

"All the king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put me together again."

"All my enemies started out friends."

I THINK HE KNOWS

"I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans."

"It's like I'm 17, nobody understands."

"He/she/they got my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue."

"I wanna see what's under that attitude."

"I want you, bless my soul."

"He'd/she'd/they'd better lock it down or I won't stick around."

"Good ones never wait."

MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE

"You know I adore you."

"It's you and me, that's my whole world."

"You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes."

"It's you and me, there's nothing like this."

"We're so sad, we paint the town blue."

"Voted most likely to run away with you."

PAPER RINGS

"Now I wake up in the middle of the night and watch you breathe."

"Kiss me once cause you know I've had a long night."

"Kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright."

"I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings."

"You're the one I want."

"I hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this."

"I'm with you even if it makes me blue."

CORNELIA STREET

"We were a fresh page on the desk filling in the blanks as we go."

"I hope I never lose you, I hope it never ends."

"That's the kinda heartbreak time could never mend."

"I get mystified by how this city screams your name."

"I thought you were leading me on."

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS

"Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts."

"I get drunk, but it's not enough."

"The morning comes and you're not my baby."

"I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up."

"I can't pretend it's okay when it's not."

"What once was ours is no one's now."

"The only thing we share is this small town."

"You said it was a great love, one for the ages."

"If the story's over, why am I still writing pages?"

LONDON BOY

"But something happened, I heard him/her/them laughing."

"They say home is where the heart is, but that's not where my mine lives."

"Darling, I fancy you."

"I guess all the rumors are true."

"Babe, don't threaten me with a good time."

"Just wanna be with you."

SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER

"I didn't tell you I was scared."

"Desperate people find faith."

"I know delusion when I see it in the mirror."

"You make the best of a bad deal."

"I just pretend it isn't real."

"I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try."

"I hate to make this all about me."

"Who am I supposed to talk to, what am I supposed to do, if there's no you?"

"This won't go back to normal, if it ever was."

FALSE GOD

"We were crazy to think that this could work."

"Remember when I said I'd die for you?"

"I can't talk to you when you're like this."

"I still do it for you, babe."

"We might just get away with it."

"Religion's in your lips even if it's a false god."

"I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me."

"Hell is when I fight with you."

"We'd still worship this love even if it's a false god."

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

"You are somebody that I don't know."

"You need to calm down, you're being too loud."

"You're coming at my friends like a missile."

AFTERGLOW

"I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue."

"Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves."

"Why'd I have to break what I love so much?"

"I don't wanna do this to you."

"I don't wanna lose this with you."

"It's so excruciating to see you low."

"Tell me that you're still mine."

"Tell me that we'll be just fine."

"Tell me that it's not my fault."

"Tell me that I'm all you want."

ME!

"I promise that you'll never find another like me."

"I know I never think before I jump."

"I know that I went psycho on the phone."

"I never leave well enough alone."

"Trouble's gonna follow where I go."

"I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me."

"I know I tend to make it about me."

"I never wanna see you walk away."

IT'S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND

"Wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, sounds like fun."

"It's nice to have a friend."

"You've been stressed out lately, yeah, me too."

DAYLIGHT

"My love was as cruel as the cities that I lived in."

"There are so many lines I've crossed unforgiven."

"I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye."

"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you."

"I don't wanna think about anything else now that I thought of you."

"Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky."

"I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked."

"I once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden."

ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE

"Your past and mine are parallel lines."

"Every dead-end street led you straight to me."

"Now you're all I need."

"Teenage love taught you there's good in goodbye."

"I wanna teach you how forever feels."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric prompts #lyric starters #sentence starters #roleplay starters #roleplay prompts #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme)#when there was me and queue (queue)

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gentle-author · 9 days

Text

Uhh, I ('ll always) love rain.

I love how the clouds dance with the stars and transform into heavy pillows every night (like my heart trying to hug my soul).

I love the sound of the raindrops falling gently at the ground contributing to the smell of freshly washed (green) grass all around (the court).

I adore each kind of tremendous, aspiring lighting, as its chaos makes my mind less noisy (unlike my chats).

I adore every aspect of a storm, 'cause it helps me move on from the remains of myself (leaving me behind, wondering how and why, having a faint smile, probably making me cry).

I used to pray for some rain (pray to call you mine).

Used to call "lucky" everyone who lived in London (and the United States).

I was always feeling utterly happy every time a teardrop from the sky (not my eye) touched the (wet I hoped) soil.

Feeling completely calm just by admiring the fascinating raindrops having a race on my window (guessing which team's about to win).

Finding peace (in your arms, making my heart skip a beat, adding a few dreams to my nap).

Today, it rained (!?).

It hadn't rained in ages (maybe a few months).

Anyone who knows about my existence would claim that I should be the happiest person alive (and I am, mom).

My wish finally came true (simply like that).

Question is... Did I actually feel happy about rain this time (or not)?

The answer is (wait, stop)...

No(-).

Ever since I met you, something (a lot) changed in me.

I met you and you managed to change me (how come!?).

And I never change (not like that).

I'm stubborn (guess I am).

I can't tell how you managed to do that, but ever since I met you, I've never been happier (never in this world).

I used to hate the sun (God, I wished it just disappeared).

You utterly adore it (fun fact that-makes me laugh).

And now, I find it pleasant (perfect) too.

I can't tell how or why, but ever since I met you, I knew that you're either gonna be my everything or completely nothing (same goes with the sun).

Looks like we're hopping on the first situation (praying to stay like that).

And I don't regret it (calling me yours is all I have).

Instead, I thank it (yes, I am).

I thank you (with all of my heart).

Thank you for making me a better person (giving a meaning in my life).

Thank you for making me face my fears (and tears) straight in the face.

Thank you for declining all the taboos I've (ever) had for myself.

Thank you for being my alter ego (my other half).

Thank you for being you (my favourite person).

But most importantly...

Thank you, not because you made me love the sun (I used to hate), but because you made me fall in love, not only with you, but with me, (too).

Falling in love with (our) life.

Falling in love with us (my love).

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potatoesandsunshine · 8 days

Text

ok for the benefit of everyone i am putting my ttpd thoughts under the cut bc i had a lot of them. i did listen to the album and i had a fun time writing my opinions as i went! i haven't done any of the extra songs yet but i probably will tomorrow.

overall thoughts: i like this album pretty well! definitely more to my taste than midnights. i'm not instantly in love with it, but i will listen to at least some of the songs a lot and i'll give the whole thing a few more chances to grow on me. kind of a 7/10 for me personally - i'm not sold on songs as vehicles for Lore, i need to think it's a good song to listen to if i'm going to like it. i wanted more differences in tempo or dynamics throughout; at times songs felt a little same-y. anyway, my first impressions song by song!

Fortnight: honestly i just don't love the word fortnight there are too many T's in it. overall 7/10. i like it but i want a tempo change or something.

TTPD: the lyrics... babe. but at least she figured out how to say fuck like a normal person. "Gonna troll you" is also a lot. 5/10 doesn't hugely do it for me, would skip.

MBOBHFT: like this one more. she's doing that thing she does where there are more words crammed into the verse than she needs but the chorus really does it for me. 7.5/10

Down Bad: i like the dreamy vibes. weirdly reminds me of another song? specifically fuck it if i can't have him; my brain is itching. anyway 7/10? WAIT if i can't have you kelly clarkson. (not totally convinced that was it. still can't place it)

So Long, London: wish it had instruments? interesting cadence, reminds me of Lana a little. i wish she didn't use so many modifiers but it's a decent song 7/10

BDILH: y'know i like the message. she's right fuck swifties. we're handshake about this. this one is pretty good! 7.5/10. too long though. has the staying power of like a 4 min song (i think everyone was so extremely weird about this situation and it makes sense that she thinks so too)

FOTS: again i just want less synths. i like the chorus a lot actually. kinda over how she uses American. wait what's happening to this song. solid 7/10

Florida!!!: Florence!!! this one was a guaranteed hit for me. fav so far for sure. 9/10 going on the playlist (the no-skip tswift playlist)

Guilty as Sin?: starting to feel a little samey! not a ton of tempo differences on this album. wild to write a song about wanting this hard. feels kinda honest which is refreshing after midnights. not super my song but i don't hate it. 6.5/10 JESUS COMPARISON??? (this added a point. i feel like people throw out 'unhinged' about her when she's always struck me as an extremely precise planner but this was still a big moment for me. she should do more stuff like this. she should get weirder.)

WAoLOM?: stranger things ass imagery. i like the scream i want more variation in dynamics. pretty good song! i like it as a continuation of anti-hero. 8/10. on the playlist

ICFH(NRIC): we love talking about him and smoke i will be listening to colors. i wish it was faster! but i like it. 8/10

loml: again with the modifiers. nice lyrics in this one imo. kinda sounds like you're losing me. 8/10

ICDIWaBH: very mastermind intro! again w/ the thesaurus problem. thank you. thank you. faster song. 9/10 on the playlist. get a therapist fr girl

TSMWEL: she said you get one fast song. piano!!! honestly i like the way it builds and i like the paranoia. again, feels honest. 7.5/10

The Alchemy: i like it! reminds me of the archer + willow. god she loves a sports metaphor. i will listen to this more. 8.5/10

Clara Bow: kinda feels like an Olivia dig. been very interesting to see the progression of The Lucky One -> here. can't pretend you're not the establishment. 7/10

and just for fun - here it is in the glitter gel pen :P i had fun with this! i'll probably do it for the other tracks too - it was like pretending to be a reaction channel

#taylor swift #ttpd #to my mutuals.......... i contained this for all of YOU #the way i know this is going to make people post vaguely that i 'don't understand Art' or whatever... couldn't care less peace and love #some of these lyrics are good! some are awful! this is almost always the case with her.

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jessybarnes · 1 year

Text

Golden Lines - Chapter Three - Secrets, Trust, and Confessions

Pairings: Chris Evans x OFC Jessica Anderson, Chris Evans x OFC Lily Stan, Sebastian Stan x OFC Jessica Anderson, Tom Hiddleston x OFC Ang DiLorenza

Chapter Three Characters: Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Tom Hiddleston, OFC Jessica Anderson, OFC Lily Stan, OFC Ang DiLorenza, OFC Mrs. Stevens

Chapter Three Rating: Mature

Chapter Three Tags: Angst, anxiety, confessions of feelings, admission of teacher/student relationship, keeping secrets, mentions of kissing, running into Sebastian...literally, explicit language.

Chapter Three Word Count: 2,602

Chapter Three Betas: T. Thompson and @madashatters18

Chapter Three Mini Title Card: Yours Truly

Angie practically skips to the cafeteria, quickly finding Lily and Jessica with three plates of pizza.

"Hey, loves! Did ya miss me?"

Lily takes a bite of her food and nods. "Yeah," she says around the bite of pizza, "we got you pepperoni and a bottle of Coke."

Jessica makes room and smiles when Angie sits down. "So...how did your date with Romeo go?"

Ang blushes, "I mean...we didn't kiss if that's what you're getting at."

Lily smirks and leans on her elbow. "There's a 'but' in there somewhere, I can sense it."

Angie shakes her head. "There isn't. Nothing happened...he just explained the formulas to me and said that he'd like to spend a half hour every Wednesday after school to tutor me. Then he dismissed me, and here I am."

Jessica squeals happily. "Oh, my god! He is totally into you! I'm gonna say y'all are gonna kiss by the third session."

Lily tips her bottle of Coke toward Ang. "I second that!"

Tom sits behind his desk, his thumbnail tight between his teeth. He can't get the way Angie looked at him out of his mind. Long-term relationships aren't really his thing. He is so dedicated to his job, putting all of his energy into it, and what time he has left is spent visiting with his family in London. Sure he has little flings here and there. He has needs just like everyone else does, but he's never had a feeling like the one he has when he looks at Ang.

He closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. He wants her to succeed. Hell, it's his damn job to make sure that she does. The problem is, he can't focus when she's near him. She is the only woman who's ever been able to make him feel like this, and he's not sure how to deal with these new feelings.

A knock on his door startles him back into reality. Tom gets up and is surprised to see Chris standing on the other side. They're friends, but it's rare they see each other while at work.

"Chris? Everything okay?" Tom watches him walk past him into his classroom. He's quiet, definitely a red flag. "Hey. What's wrong?"

Chris sighs and turns around to face him. "Have you ever wanted something so bad knowing you weren't allowed to have it?" He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down, "and even though you'd lose everything if someone found out about it, you would still be willing to do it...just to be happy?"

Tom's eyes go wide. It's like Chris can read his mind. He's just spoken his entire dilemma out loud. "Um…well, I…y-yeah I have actually…"

Chris snaps his gaze to his. "You have?"

Tom nods. "Yeah," he sits back down and gestures for Chris to sit next to him, "and I have a feeling we're going through the same thing."

Ang and Lily walk to art in silence. Their arms are linked together as they maneuver through the sea of kids. Once they're seated at one of the large tables, Lily sighs. "Seb's been acting weird lately."

Angie furrows her brows. "Weird how?"

"Well, for starters, he's been drinking a lot more. Like, he doesn't get shit-faced or anything, but I can tell something's bothering him. Mom's back in Romania, so I'm really all he's got, as far as family is concerned, for right now. He won't talk to me, and I'm worried because he always talks to me. It's kinda our thing. Telling each other everything."

Angie reaches for her hand and holds it reassuringly. "I'm sure he'll talk when he's ready, babe. Maybe he just doesn't know how to put whatever it is into words yet."

Lily smiles, "yeah, you're right. Thanks, Ang. You always know how to make the chaos in my life make sense."

She squeezes her hand before pulling it away. "That's what I'm here for, dear."

The bell rings signaling the start of class and their teacher stands up from behind her desk.

"Good afternoon, class. My name is Mrs. Stevens, and I'll be helping all of you expand your art skills. This first week we will just be easing into things, and I figured for our first assignment you could draw whatever you want. A portrait, an aesthetic of your favorite season, etc. You can take the rest of the class to plan and sketch a mock-up of your drawing, and you'll have until Friday to finish it. There are sketchbooks in the back and supplies on the shelves for you to use at your leisure. You may begin."

Chris stares incredulously at his friend. "Y-You…what?"

Tom folds his hands and looks down at his lap. "I'm going to tell you something, and I'd appreciate it if you kept it between us. Please?"

Chris nods, "Of course, man."

Tom takes a moment to think of how to put his feelings for Angie into words. Finally, he just goes with what feels right. "I have romantic feelings for one of my students…"

Chris’s jaw drops. "Really?" He breathes out through his nose, "I um...you were right. We are going through the same thing. Can I…can I ask who she is?"

Tom looks over at him and licks his lips. "Angie DiLorenza."

Chris puts a hand on his shoulder. "She's in my second-period class. It's funny because she's friends with the one I'm with."

Tom almost chokes on his own spit. "The one you're with? You're dating her?!"

Chris grimaces at his slip-up. "Fuck...yeah, I...we…," he hangs his head and sighs. "I'll tell you, but you have to keep my secret too. Not even Sebastian can know, okay?"

Tom nods, "you have my word."

"It's Jessica Anderson." Even saying her name makes his heart flutter. "I met her at the park yesterday and she took my breath away. I mean, it was like the world stopped spinning when I saw her, Tom. I can't explain it any better than that. Then she was in my second hour and I panicked because I'm scared she would be weirded out having me as her teacher, you know? I passed her a note discreetly asking her to stay after class, and it must have scared her because she had a fuckin' anxiety attack right in front of me. I haven't been that scared in a long time. I didn't know what to do, so I locked my door, took her into my arms, and talked to her. It worked, and then...she was so close to me...and we ended up kissing."

Chris closes his eyes. "I haven't felt like this since Amanda."

"I know exactly what you mean. Ang has me feeling a way I've never felt before in my life. She...just doesn't know it yet. Today I gave the kids an assessment paper on Pre-Calc and she had no fear. She wrote little notes next to the questions like 'I need a calculator though.' and 'how am I supposed to know?'. I should have been upset, but instead of giving her detention, I offered to tutor her after school on Wednesdays. She was blatantly flirting with me too."

Tom stands and places his hands on his desk, leaning over slightly. "Chris, she looks at me like I'm some kind of God. I...what do I do?"

Chris gets to his feet and rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "Go with what your heart says. That's what I'm doing. Be careful about how much you flirt with her here though. Way too many witnesses. I'm here if you need to talk, man. You've got my number."

Tom pulls him into a hug and claps him on the back. "You too, Chris. Thank you for talking with me about all of this. It means a lot."

Chris smiles and walks to the door, "Anytime. I gotta get ready for my next class. Text me later."

Angie sighs, "any idea what you're gonna draw, love?"

Lily shrugs and passes her a blank sketchbook. "I don't know. I thought I'd try drawing a vacation spot my Mom and I went to. What about you?"

"I'm honestly not sure. I think I'm just gonna start sketching and see what happens."

The room is quiet save for the occasional sound of ruffling papers and moving pencils. Angie's mind wanders to her moment with Mr. Hiddleston. She can't describe the way she feels for him, but the one thing she is certain of is he makes her feel alive.

Her hand begins moving her pencil mindlessly across the page, her thoughts remembering every little detail. The way his calloused hand felt under her small fingers, his scent surrounding her like a warm blanket just pulled from the dryer, and the way he looked at her. She continues to draw, not even registering the image that's quickly taking shape.

She imagines the way his mouth would feel on her skin. Those smooth lips peppering gentle kisses along her neck gradually moving lower and lower. How he'd look towering over her, caging her in while they touch each other, map out one another's bodies. She thinks about him taking her innocence.

Angie blinks, snaps out of her trance, and looks down at the page. She stills, all the air leaving her lungs from what she sees.

Him.

It's just a sketch, with no shading or defined lines, but it's the fact that she's never done this before. Angie has never let her mind do the thinking for her while her hand drags the graphite across the page. Suddenly, she's aware that anyone could walk by and see it and that scares her.

Ang slams the book shut and puts her head in her hands. "Babe? What's wrong?" Lily whispers.

"I'm screwed, that's what." She passes the sketchbook over to Lily, "I just did this without even realizing it, Lil...what am I supposed to do? I don't know what to draw, and it's not like I can turn this in. I'll get in trouble."

Lily eyes her for a moment before flipping to the first page. Her eyes go wide. "Ang,...this is...it's amazing! Girl, what do you mean you can't turn this in?"

She shakes her head, "It'll cause suspicion, Lily! I don't want him to get fired because of some drawing I did of him! I'd feel awful if that ha-"

Mrs. Stevens approaches their table effectively cutting Angie off mid-sentence, "everything okay here girls?"

Lily slowly closes her friend's book and steals a quick glance across the table. "Y-Yeah, it's um...we're good."

Angie feels all the blood drain from her face. "Have you two decided what you'll be drawing?"

Angie's mouth goes dry, "Um…"

Her teacher looks at her with concern. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She nods silently. "Well, okay dear." She looks down at her workspace and frowns, "where's your sketchbook?"

Ang can feel her heart rate spike. God, if she could only disappear right now. "My um…L-Lily has it." She takes it from the blonde and lays her forearms on top of it protectively. Mrs. Stevens smiles warmly. "Can I see what you've got so far?"

Lily can feel the fear and emotion coming from Angie. She wishes she could do something, but she feels helpless.

"I-I-I don't think that's uh...a g-good idea," Ang says quietly.

"Nonsense, Ms. DiLorenza. I'm sure it's lovely, whatever it is. C'mon, let's see it."

Tears pool in her eyes as she reluctantly hands her the book. She looks down at her lap and wrings her hands nervously. Lily watches as the teacher opens it, her hand covering her mouth as she looks down in shock.

"Ms. DiLorenza...this is-''

Angie can't hold back her tears anymore. If she's going to get in trouble she might as well attempt to salvage Mr. Hiddleston's teaching position. "I know. I know this looks bad, but I promise it's not like that, Mrs. Stevens! I-I just…I draw my inspiration from things that...that speak to me, and Mr. H helped me with my Math earlier. He was so nice and I've never had a Math teacher be so patient with me. I just wanted to show my appreciation." She wipes her eyes with her sleeve, not making any eye contact with her teacher.

"Ms. DiLorenza, you're not in any trouble here and neither is Mr. H. I believe you when you say that there isn't anything going on, and it isn't a crime to draw something that inspires you. This," she motions to the drawing, "is beautiful. Please finish this. Don't worry, you're not going to be punished. I actually think it would be nice to show him when it's all done, don't you?"

Angie bit her lip. "Yeah, I-I can do that. Thank you, Mrs. Stevens."

She looks at Lily and breathes a sigh of relief. "God, that was nerve-racking. I'm just glad he's not going to be let go or something."

Lily nods, "me too, but what do you think he's gonna say? You know, about the picture?"

"I don't know," Angie admits. "I just hope he doesn't get freaked out by it. I want him to like it."

Lily reaches across the table for her hand. "He will, love. He will."

Jessica walks out of the music wing in the direction of her locker. Her mind is definitely not focused on anything around her. She can still feel his soft lips on hers, moving slowly and sweet. He tasted like coffee and mint and it was heaven. With a dreamy sigh, she rounds the corner to the hall of lockers and collides into a firm chest.

She falls backward and catches herself with her hands and hits the floor. Her books scatter everywhere and she groans. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention and I didn't mea-" Her eyes look up and lock onto none other than Mr. Stan.

He stares down at her in momentary shock before quickly helping her to her feet. "Are you alright, Ms. Anderson?"

She looks down at her mess of books. "I-I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind. Sorry for keeping you."

Sebastian frowns and bends down to pick up her blank book that Chris had assigned earlier in the day. His fingers curl around the spine and when he picks it up the book opens slightly, two loose scraps of paper falling out.

Jessica's heart seizes in her chest as she watches the papers float gently to the ground in slow motion. Of course, the one with his number on it lands ink-side up. She instantly lunges for it praying to anyone who was listening that he didn't read it. "Th-Thank you for um...for uh…" She quickly grabs the book from his hands. "S-Sorry."

He watches her practically sprint down the hallway while he stands rooted to the spot. There was definitely something fishy about everything that just happened. She was more nervous than she was in pain from hitting the tile floor. At first, Sebastian thought he'd scared her, but the moment he picked up the book for her he saw the horror flash in her eyes. He didn't understand what the big deal was until he looked down at the paper on the floor. He didn't recognize anything odd about it at first glance, but when he looked again he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Was that Chris’s phone number?!

#j snow writes #golden lines chapter three #golden lines #chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans x ofc #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan x ofc #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston x ofc #real person fiction #rpf

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khodorkovskaya · 1 year

Text

13.03.23

yesterday was a very thought provoking day so i want to tell you guys about it! lots of stuff about growing up/coming of age, relationships, etc, all that good stuff!

so i went ice skating with my oxford/france bestie and my student as we do every sunday and it was so much fun! im getting more and more confident on the ice! and it was great, i love spending time with friends when we're doing something like an activity , like something with a purpose you know.

then we went to get hot chocolate as we always do and since my student's wife wasn't there, he spilled some tea! we started talking about relationships bc my london bestie was in town this weekend and her bf finally got his visa so he came to our town for the first time ever! it was his first time outside of the uk and his home country so we were all very excited! but anyway, we started talking about relationships bc to be completely honest with you, im not a fan of my bestie's bf, but i'll get to that in a sec. and my student said that he's only been in love 3 times in his life. when we asked him what about his wife, he said it's not really love as in romantic or sexual love, they're just really good companions. and... they've never had sex! which honestly kinda changes my perspective on their whole thing, but also not really. he said they've only ever done kink stuff together bc they're into latex and things like that. and since she's so much younger than him, he's never wanted to have sex with her. as he desciribed it, he's not a zizi kind of guy i.e. he's uninterested in sex in general. and yeah, ive always thought he was somewhere on the asexual spectrum and this confirmed it. anyway, that was a fun fact.

now back to my london bestie and her boyfriend, im not a fan of the guy frankly. he comes off as really uninteresting and they have this whole mother-son dynamic going on, i really don't get it. he's boring and unattractive and also probably asexual or maybe gay bc he's uninterested in sex with my bestie. so i was looking forward to seeing her and i was happy that her bf could finally come to our country, but i would've preferred it if i could talk to my bestie one-on-one without his company yknow? and then my bestie also messaged me saying that she invited another friend of ours to come hang out with us and again... i feel like such a bitch but the friend she invited is just... so uninteresting. the girl has no values and sure, she'll laugh at your jokes and talk about anything, but i can't stand her superficiality. every time i hang out with her i feel like im wasting my time.

so on my way to the bar i was already imagining all the dumb conversations we're gonna be having and how bored i was gonna be, already trying to make up excuses about how i could get myself out of this and go home and work instead of gargling air with two of the most uninteresting people i know. and i felt so shitty because i was supposed to be looking forward to seeing my bestie and i was supposed to be happy about her boyfriend's visa and i was supposed to be happy about seeing that other friend bc i haven't seen her in ages. but i was just dreading it so much oh my god. i don't know what it is. am i a bitch? am i pretencious and arrogant and do i think too highly of myself? i felt awful. and even my ed thoughts were coming up on my way there. i was like "ooo im skipping lunch today im gonna be so skinny yay". like wtf. i wanted to be happy about seeing my bestie but instead i felt guilty and just wanted to go home and work...

anyway, as anticipated, i was bored out of my mind... her boyfriend's attitude was pissing me off. i asked them what they've done these past two days, like what they've visited and what their plans were. and they said that they went to the old town, walked around the lake, ate at mcdonalds and drank wine. which is fine i guess but like... there's so much to do around here and so many things to see! you can have mcdonalds and wine in london and tbh the old town is not really worth visiting if you don't know anything about it, like it's just a couple of pretty houses, it's gonna be boring if you just walk around aimlessly. like idk if i had two days to show our city to someone who's never been, i would've done so much more idk. and then the bf was like "yeahhh this place is boring it's not for me" and when i asked him why, he said that it's because there are a lot of pubs in london and not a lot around here. like duh of course if your only priority is drinking ofc you're gonna be bored anywhere you go. idk that really annoyed me. plus they didn't even go out at night so he didn't even have a point of comparison. like sure, we don't really have pubs like as in english pubs, but we have a lot of cool bars and clubs and other fun night time activities. like i invited them to the disco on ice on saturday, which is sooo much more fun than drinking wine at home come on! but they said no! and our town is the boring one, all right!

then my bestie invited me over for dinner with her parents and her ukrainian friend. and as the night went on the more and more i kept realising that i don't have much in common with her anymore. and it was so heartbreaking bc we grew up together. we had so many integral life moments together but now it seems that they weren't so integral after all. and it sucks because no one else is gonna know what i was like growing up and it feels like such an important part of me. she's the only one who's seen this part of me and yet it has no importance anymore because we barely have anything in common now.

idk it sucks and there's not much to say. we have different lives, different views, different priorities... and i really felt like the odd one out because at the dinner table everyone was kinda on the same page (except for the parents bc they're getting divorced lol but that's another story). at one point bestie's mum asked me where i was at with my studies. she asked me if i still give language lessons and do catsitting and i was like not really. i have one student who's become a friend now and for the cats thing, if my neighbour asks me ofc im gonna help out. but im not actively looking for these kind of jobs like i did in highschool because duhh im an adult now and im working. and then the mum was like "yeah, you should stop doing that. let's find you a real job" and it really like... upset me. because what about our business? no one seemed to care or ask me any questions about it. "where's you shop again?", "you sell clothes???" like guyssss this has been my family's life for years now! and im pretty vocal about what we've been doing and the project we're working on. and yet no one cares. i don't know, it made me really upset. as if everything we've been working on is not serious. as if getting a "real job" is the only thing that matters.

i don't know, i feel like there's a lot to say but there isn't much to say... it's just that me and my bestie have grown apart. and it hurts. it hurts that i can't relate to her anymore. and i don't understand her lifestyle or her opinions or her way of viewing the world. no, i do understand. but it's so unlike me. we don't value the same things. and it sucks.

and then the ukrainian girl was talking about how she went to dubai and how it's the place to be and how she's looking for a husband. and again, i just cannot relate. and felt so left out. like i don't know, ive gone through so much these past couple of months and it's incredible. but i can't share it with anyone because no one cares. everyone has different priorities... my bestie has an office job she's comfortable at, her boyfriend complains about life and wants to move to canada to find himself, bestie's mum is leaving her husband to go live with her lover and worries about how because of the war in ukraine her job's been intense, the ukrainian girl is trying to find a husband in dubai meanwhile her hometown has been destroyed. and i... well.... i can't even explain it.

i suddenly felt really scared of being alone for the rest of my life. i remembered coming home to B and feeling like i had my person. it felt nice imagining that i was not alone because i had him. but ive always felt lonely with him. but coming home and cuddling with him was nice. im scared that i'll never find my person, someone who can see and understand me, all of me. for now the only people i can relate to are "weirdos" like my student and my oxford/france bestie. they're so much fun! but is this how it's supposed to be? how do i fit in with normal people? how do i become normal?

anyway, i walked home and cried and felt very alone.

and then i had a dream about B and how i came home and he wasn't there so i called him and said "i can't do this anymore, it's either me or [his business name]". i woke up feeling satisfied that i had finally said it. but it's too late now, our relationship can't be repaired. and i can't set any ultimatums anymore and make him choose, because i chose to leave. and he chose himself. and im gonna be alone.

#it's interesting bc my student and his wife have everything but sex #they do fun activities together #like hobbies and stuff #and me and B just had the sex and nothing else #so i felt alone and bored #how do you even find someone who satisfies you on every level?#i want a lover #fuck im so sad about this whole thing #im so scared of being alone #march

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anarchistbitch · 7 months

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well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

#m for mwah! and MWAH

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hwajin · 1 year

Note

Preettyyy sure you're thinking of the right person🐈

Anyways I'm gonna give you more of lifestory dump now because things have changed and idk it's time to update you👀

First of all, I passed last year. Not with the best grades, but I passed. Meaning I'm in eleventh grade finally and I MUCH prefer it over whatever that was the last few years.

Getting to choose what subjects you wanns focus on and what subjects yoy just wanna dump in the trash (bye bye latin) is a great concept

My focus is on English, German and chemistry :)

I'm a lot more open and, not like the last few years, I don't try to not be seen or not exist anymore. In fact, I try to give myself a presence and just exist in other people's minds. I often casually talk with people I've never spoken to before and it's not weird or forced. I also made some new... friends? Probably wouldn't go that far yet but we're getting there for sure.

Yesterday, I met in the library with some friends so they can study for their biology exam tomorrow and I can get some books on one of the topics for my gfs

Btw, I got the best topics for my gfs's

In psychology I got schizophrenia and did, two things I've been interested in for years

I history I got something with Japan lol

And in English I got hamilton and I get to compare the musical to the real world history

My teachers are great for the most part and I haven't skipped class once yet and am not planning to do so either

I'm among the people with the most additional classes and on Wednesday, I'll get to go to the best university for psychology nearby and even get to attend one psychology and one jura lesson

My grades have gotten better. They're not the best yet, but I don't have to fear about passing anymore

Last Monday, we started a new topic in German class and our teacher made us play out a theatre script. We got to film each other. I decided to get revenge and wrote a script myself, following the same topic to ask him to play it for us. He did :)

He even said it was a prime example of that kind of text and that it was quite fitting for the topic pf that specific lesson. We were allowed to film him and he decided to make the text I wrote public to everyone in class

He actually puts effort into teaching and always gives us some great feedback for our homework and texts. I asked him if I could send him a poem I've written last year, simply because I want to know what I can do better. It's not about our current topic at all, but he still told me to go for it and even said on Friday that I will get feedback soon

And I'll go to London with the seminar course in February and might even get to see the Hamilton musical with some people :)

I still have depression and getting up everyday is an impossible seeming task... But I do it anyway and greet my peers. I don't expect them to say good morning back, but when they do, I do, in fact, have a good morning

when i tell you this made me tear up a bit i'm so proud of you bb!! legit thank you sm for like updating me this much, we barely talk lately which is mad sad jfjeifne but the fact you thought of me enough to tell MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY!!! i'm so glad you found some ppl that are somewhat close to you, even if you're not yet friends with em! also- having chemistry as your focus is CRAZY you smart smart. but english and german sounds mad fun!! i remember those two subjects being super fun as well, also defo update me about the london trip!! i didn't get to do a trip before graduation due to covid SO TELL ME HOW YOURS WENT 😤😤. again bub i'm mad proud of you for coming so far, i'm so so happy omg <333

#kathys asks #kathys cute ass anons

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tip-x · 2 years

Text

30.8.22

Mood: 3.5/10

In my feels again today, but that's boring. In more entertaining news, I did the homework my therapist set me (or at least, part of it).

Had to go out somewhere I wanted to go, but on my own. And then also go an eat somewhere, on my own. I did both, but I have mixed feelings.

Positive feelings: I guess it was nice to walk around somewhere new. I did like that I felt like I 'achieved' something by fulfilling what I told my therapist I'd do.

Negative feelings: The natural history museum is actually just kinda.. bad? Like it was super busy and I didn't even go at peak times, there was no AC, it was all marketed to children. Honestly I just sprint walked through all the exhibits and left, couldn't stand it. No one was masked up either so I felt hella self conscious with mine on. I went and got food afterwards (Some sushi conveyor-belt place), which being central London, was massively overpriced. Practically criminally, I'm never eating out alone in central again. So the actual experiences themselves were... mediocre. And I still had the FOMO of seeing other people out and about with friends. So.

It made me miss Singapore. The museum over there was so much nicer, and the food was so much cheaper and better tasting. It's a weird feeling, because my time over there was both the best and worst few weeks of my life in the last few years (emotionally anyway). I'm considering doing a master's at NUS, but because my ex is there I also feel kinda weird about it..? Like we're just friends again, but if I get over her by that time, is it all just gonna come back to me? I suppose in fairness, this is anxiety over things that haven't even happened yet.

also I skipped running because I went to the museum so I hate myself for that. Net negative day overall.

#depression #sewerslidal #journal #mental health

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amchara · 2 years

Text

Trouble Seems to Follow (Part One)

Kit Herondale, Ty Blackthorn, Livvy Blackthorn (Kit/Ty)

Wordcount: 1,985 words

TW: light descriptions of battle wounds

(Part One) (Two) (Three) (Four) (Five) (Six)

After a brief interlude due to uni work, I am back on my Kit/Ty fic-writing bs 😂

As always- @sandersgrey provides the best prompts. This one:

My case is: It would not be completely implausible for Livy to go to Kit for help if Ty were overwhelmed by demons in a mission, or if something else happened that put him in immediate danger.

It would also not be out of the realm of possibility for Kit to instinctively either 1. Teleport himself to where Ty is, or 2. Teleport Ty to Cirenworth.

Here's my interpretation - and don't worry, this is only part one. Part two is where we're gonna to get to the kissing the emotional fallout the actual reunion between the two where they talk things out. First though- the action!

London, 2015

Kit lay in the narrow Institute bed, counting tiny cracks in the moulded ceiling above him, in hopes boredom would send him off to sleep.

He shifted and rolled over, reaching for his phone. 23:47 it read.

Sighing, Kit tossed it on the bedside table. Institute training started again at six am but sleep remained elusive. He tapped his fingers against the headboard, and then traced out the small grooves carved into one corner. WH. William Herondale

Tessa’s first husband had certainly been fond of monogramming his initials across the building- the library was littered with books signed with his name, which had annoyed Kit at first. But now it was almost a game to spot the tell-tale spiky W and H in the various Institute tables or wooden wall panels.

In the tower room that was also now Kit’s, he had spotted six separate ones, plus one carving he suspected was from Tessa and Will’s daughter, reading ‘LH + JB’. He didn’t know why but that one had made his throat ache when he had found it. He had sent a photo of it to Tessa, who had replied back with a single ‘<3’.

He knew Bridget had given him the room as a nod to his last name but… given the choice, he would have preferred a different one. He wasn’t a Herondale Herondale. Not of Tessa’s line. Not like Jace. Not like the perfect Herondale warriors or brilliant strategists of the past. The Herondales that the other Shadowhunters on their travel year at the Institute expected him to be like.

So sue him, Kit thought grumpily- so he hadn’t grown up as a proto-Spartan or went through gruelling Academy training and then drunk angelic fire to get the abs, chiselled jawlines and perfect aim most Shadowhunters seemed to have.

Jem had done his best but Kit knew he was at best a mediocre, veering towards competent, fighter. And while he, Jem and Tessa had talked about it and worked hard on his other skills, for many reasons, Kit couldn’t showcase them during training.

Kit had to admit to himself: he hated it here at the London Institute. He should’ve just headed back to Cirenworth after his visit with Jace and Clary in New York. But it wasn’t possible.

Therefore, for the foreseeable future, he would give as many charming smiles and paper-thin excuses as needed to skip training and ignore the sideways glances and whispers that followed when he still failed at basic Shadowhunter tasks.

Which happened more when he didn’t sleep well… Kit contemplated getting up and going for a quick wander down the Institute’s halls, wondering if movement would help stop his ruminations.

He had gone to bed fully dressed. Old habits that had formed during childhood with his father, were now resurfacing as his First Heir problems had multiplied. Given the close calls he had had at Cirenworth and New York, he knew why he was fully dressed, unable to sleep, in London on a lumpy bed. But it still sucked.

Kit also knew the real reason why he didn’t want to wander this late. During the day he kept busy enough… but at night the literal ghosts – Jessamine was way too eager to have a Herondale to talk to again – and the figurative ghosts of his past experiences at the London Institute, were too close for comfort.

Plus- there was Ty- a complication that had arrived with two other Centurions the previous evening. Kit had so far successfully avoided him.

“KIT!”

Kit sat bolt upright, as Livvy’s voice filled his room. A couple seconds later, she popped into sight in front of him. In the moonlight, her dark hair and eerie eyes contrasted with the blinding white of her skin and even paler shade of her funeral dress.

“Livvy?” Kit relaxed his hold on the knife he kept under his pillow but felt goosebumps rise along his arms in alarm. She sounded terrified.

“Kit, Kit- Kit, you have to help- it’s Ty, he’s-” Livvy’s frantic voice pulled at something in Kit’s chest. And he forced himself to take a deep breath, even as he swung into action.

“Where is he? What’s wrong?” he demanded. Shoes and weapons belt already on, and one arm into the spare gear jacket he kept beside his bed, he pulled his go-bag from underneath the loose floorboards. In it held his stolen weapons and all essentials for a quick escape.

Livvy was hovering anxiously beside him. She hadn’t answered his question.

“Livvy- what’s wrong with Ty?” Kit tried to keep his voice calm, even as he unzipped the bag and then thought better of it. He’d bring it all. “I need to know so I can prepare.” He stood up and attempted to find the quiet center of his power. Just like Tessa had taught him. He tried to ignore the thudding of his heart.

“It’s- I don’t know, I think it’s some kind of Fae monster, it doesn’t look like any demon I’ve ever seen, it has him cornered- Kit, HURRY!”

He focused. Everything outside of his immediate vicinity went blurry, and a rushing sound filled his ears, wind swirling around him. He closed his eyes.

When he next opened them, he had teleported to a dim alley and was standing next to a bloodied and winded Ty.

Ty was on the ground, fending off a bulky multi-tentacled monster, hacking at the barbed arm that had wrapped around his leg.

Kit was vaguely aware of the horrified look Ty gave him before he had to dive out of the way, as the monster clocked onto the new arrival on the scene and sent several spiky barbs his way. Oh, they could detach from its body… not fucking good, he thought, even as his training kicked in.

But his hands closed on his empty weapons belt. Out of the corner of his eye, Kit saw his abandoned, carefully packed bag get torn apart, weapons scattering, and money fluttering, and he realised his mistake.

He scrambled to his feet. He’d have to improvise.

“Ty!” he called, and even in the dim lighting and the monster in front of him, he could see Ty’s attention snap to him.

“I can get us out of here but-” He was aware that Livvy had also re-appeared beside Ty.

He saw Ty nod, as he pulled out another blade from his own weapons belt, and cut the last bit of flayed tentacle from his leg. He pulled himself to stand.

The monster- its menacing rhino-shaped head swerving towards him, swept several tentacles back from Ty, and held them up in the air. Almost as if it were scenting for prey.

A rumbling noise filled the air and Kit realised it was the creature’s laughter.

“Ahhhh, the First Heir…” it hissed. “Finally you come to meet your doom.”

Despite the dire situation, Kit grinned. What was it with Seelie creatures and monologuing? Every. Single. Freaking. Time.

“Sorry not sorry- love to stay and chat but we have to bounce-” he said. He started to edge towards Ty, who had also begun to move towards him.

The creature noticed and lashed out with its largest tentacle. But not towards Kit- towards Ty.

Livvy screamed in frustrated anger as the arm swung through her incorporeal body.

Without thinking, Kit flung himself forward and tackled Ty, feeling solidity of muscle and a soft oomph as they crashed towards the ground. A stinging pain passed over his back.

He had a brief moment to panic at the nearness of familiar grey eyes before he instinctively fumbled towards his power and thought: home

---

They were in the country. After three years hiding in rural Devon, Kit could tell the difference - something about being not in a city meant the air sounded alive…

Somewhere nearby, a small animal rustled in the bushes, while an owl hooted and the cool, late-summer wind blew over his back.

Underneath him, Ty coughed.

Kit scrambled backwards, almost falling over and despite being injured himself, Ty somehow reached out a hand to steady Kit.

Kit forced himself to take a deep breath, feeling Ty’s strong grip on his shoulder. He knew that Ty was watching him, steadily. But they both didn’t say anything, and slowly Ty withdrew his support, propping himself onto his elbows.

“Ty-Ty! Are you hurt badly? Kit- give him an iratze!” Livvy had followed them and her ghostly light shone bright, showing they were at the edge of a small clearing, outlined by a low stone fence.

Kit carefully sat back, feeling his gaze blur for a moment, almost as if he were still teleporting. Then it cleared, and Kit felt a moment of pure elation. He had never successfully managed to bring anyone with him with his power- but somehow he had managed to extricate himself and Ty from the Seelie monster situation. He’d take that win.

“I’m okay, Livvy,” Ty said, his gaze not leaving Kit.

“You’re not- you’re bleeding,” Livvy said. But her voice had softened as she took in the two of them, both sitting in close proximity and yet holding themselves in a primed position, despite the moment of danger having passed.

“Not badly,” Ty said.

There was a moment of silence again. Kit could feel the weight of the past three years catching up. At least he and Livvy had had a chance to talk briefly, those few times she had come to visit him at Cirenworth.

“Livvy’s right,” Kit said, finally. He ducked his head, pushing away the sick feeling in his stomach. “I um- the bag the monster destroyed held all my stuff, so I’m gonna have to use your stele…”

Ty dug into his gear jacket pocket, handing it to him without a word. His jacket was shredded and in the moonlight, Kit could see the oozing blood where the barbs had caught on his skin. It must’ve been extremely painful, he thought but Ty hadn’t complained.

“Tessa showed me some field medicine stuff so umm-” Kit said awkwardly.

Ty nodded, his face holding an expression of trust that Kit remembered. “Of course- you should do an assessment.” He unzipped the rest of his jacket, pulling it off, and then leaned down to pull up the remains of his gear pants, where the worst of the damage looked to be, Kit thought.

Kit carefully went through a mental checklist while Livvy settled onto a nearby log, her gaze watchful. He noted Ty’s pallor but also the intent set to his mouth, and the glinting intelligence in his eyes as he peered up at Kit, eyes occasionally flicking to trees beyond, ever the Shadowhunter, still assessing for danger. No head wounds.

Kit noted the blood- mostly from shallow wounds spread evenly across the torso and leg, but also Ty’s careful, steady breathing and equally reassuring heartbeat beneath Kit’s cold fingers, as he took Ty’s pulse. No breathing or circulation issues.

It also didn’t appear the tentacle barbs had held poison, so Kit felt confident to proceed with the normal Shadowhunter aftercare. Carefully, methodologically, he applied several iratzes, watching as Ty’s skin closed up and regained colour, though the rapidly drying blood still remained on the surface.

“Thank you,” Ty told him, as Kit handed over the stele, a shy smile peeking through, as he pocketed it. He stood, shrugging back on his jacket and Kit felt a quick flash of disappointment.

“No problem,” Kit tried to say breezily, as he also rose to his feet. But the words didn’t leave his mouth in the way he intended, and he stumbled, suddenly feeling like he was drunk.

Ty’s eyes widened in alarm. Kit heard Livvy shout something before he fell back onto his knees. His vision started to gray, even he could feel Ty’s arms reaching around him, bracing him, whispering something to him.

Kit passed out.

(Part Two)

Kit/Ty taglist: @dontmindmyshadowhunting @jesse-is-spiralling @of-same-steel-and-temper @thomastaircompassrose@sandersgrey @thechangeling @gayforcarstairsgirls @kitheronthorn @mferraz @kittyblackthonherondalebr @kestrafagnor @gabtapia @alldagayships @blindbandit1515 @silvermagnolias @chaotic-halfblood-kit @fighting-god-69 @writeordie-4 @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @thefoxandthefound

#tsc fanfiction #kitty fanfiction #kit x ty #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #kit herondale x ty blackthorn #the dark artifices #the wicked powers #my fanfic #my fanfiction #trouble seems to follow

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blueeyedgeorgie · 3 years

Text

Wide Awake-Dream Was Taken

A/N: Here’s Pt. 2 bitches. I hope you all enjoy ! Also, please go support and follow @notphilosopherstudentblog because she helped me out with this because she’s so intelligent. <3

Btw Title is based off Katy Perry’s song Wide Awake

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.5k+

_________

It was early. Too early for Y/n to be crying. But her she was, sitting in bed, clinging to one of Clay's old shirts. In the past, it was normal for her to steal a couple of his belongings. It was typical of Y/n to invite herself into his closet, taking whatever she wanted to wear, whenever she wanted. But now it just felt wrong.

There were only a few items left Y/n had that were his. She never washed this shirt, she had only worn it once. She could still remember the day she stole it.

"Y/n, you've got to be kidding," Clay turned in his desk chair. She had just walked out of his closet wearing an oversized grey t-shirt. "You're seriously going to leave me with five pieces of clothing."

She shot him a playful look, taking a moment to admire herself in the nearest mirror. "I'm sorry Mr. 15 million subscribers. You can always buy more clothes with all that money."

"Fine... it looks better on you anyway."

She had spent the rest of the day in his shirt. And by the end of the day, the scent of his laundry detergent was strong. For an odd reason, the t-shirt had spent weeks in the back of Y/n's closet, untouched. At least, until this morning.

All night she was toss and turning. It seemed impossible for her to get a moment of sleep, her mind had been racing. The only reason she wasn't able to sleep was because of one person; Clay. Their fight had played over and over again in her mind.

'But Y/n, I really do love you.'

There were so many different ways the night could've ended. But it was her fault it ended how it did. If only she hadn't asked for him to step out of the stupid restaurant with her. She didn't need to make a scene, but she still did. This was all her fault.

The sound of her phone buzzing had pulled Y/n away from the piece of fabric in her hands. Looking down at her nightstand, she glanced at the electronic. Wilbur was calling. With a sigh, hesitantly she reached for the phone.

"Hey, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur."

The brunette bit his lip at the sound of her voice. He could tell she had a rough night. "Are you doing alright?"

"I'm..." she paused, looking down at the shirt in her lap. "Yeah, I'm doing better."

"That's good to hear," For some odd reason, he was pacing. It wasn't normal for him to pace back and forth. He was already dressed for the day, wearing a set of brown pants with a creme button-up shirt. A pair of glasses rested on his face as he spoke. "George and I were hoping to go get some breakfast. Do you think you could show us somewhere good?"

"Yeah, I'm up for breakfast. What about Nick and Clay?" If Clay was coming, she didn't know what she'd do. There would be tension, but maybe she could find a way to patch everything up between them.

"Nick's going over to Clay's. They wanna have a bit of time together."

"Oh, okay... when do you guys wanna meet up?"

"Maybe 30 minutes to an hour?"

"An hour it is."

Before preparing to go out, Y/n had texted Wilbur a location point to meet up. It was a nice restaurant located in town, it had always been one of her favorite places to eat. George and Wilbur had gotten a table outside, it was nice out for a day in Flordia.

"Do you think she's gonna do it?"

Wilbur glanced across the table to George, "Honestly, probably not." He let out a sigh, " hope she agrees. I really do. But it's gonna be hard for her to let go. I just think it'd be better if they got some time away from each other."

"You're right. As good of friends they are, they need a break from each other." They both knew it wasn't a good idea for Y/n to stay in Flordia at the moment, she needed a moment away from Clay. So Wilbur had come up with an idea to get Y/n to take a break.

"What do you think of Elise?" Changing the subject, George leaned back in his chair. It was rare for Clay's girlfriend to come up in conversation. She seemed like such a touchy subject in the group. She was definitely a sweetheart, but it seemed like she appeared out of nowhere. The group had been planning future Dream SMP roleplay on a Discord call. It had been so brief when Clay mentioned her. 'Hey guys, I just wanted to mention I started dating somebody.' It was smart of George to hold his tongue because of what else Clay had to say. 'Her name is Elise and she's 19.'

Most of the group had expected Clay and Y/n to end up together. They were best friends who lived in the same town. There was constant flirting going on between them. And not to mention Y/n had always been there to support Clay through the bad and good.

"Hey, guys!"

Both of the British men were pulled out of their thoughts by the sound of her voice. Y/n was quick to take a seat by Wilbur. "Have we ordered yet?"

"No actually, we've been waiting for you." George fixed his posture, his classic grin appeared on his face. "Got any recommendations for drinks?"

"My go-to has to be a mimosa and the eggs benedict."

The knock came as a surprise, but there were a lot of surprises happening this morning. Clay had woken up earlier than usual. Naturally, he'd get up around 9 or 10, but today he woke at 7. He couldn't go to bed for a few more hours, his mind wouldn't quit racing with thoughts. He had ended up skipping breakfast, he wasn't hungry today. It was normal for him to eat something, he always woke up starved. The early knock was the cherry on top of the cake of the surprises happening today.

"Hey Nick, what are you doing here?" Clay glanced behind his friend, looking for any sign of the rest of his friends. Originally, they had planned to meet up later that afternoon at his place. "I thought you were coming by at noon?"

Nick stood on the porch, burying his hands into the pockets of his jeans. It was early in the morning, yet it was already warm outside. "Yeah, sorry I didn't ask if I could come by earlier. I just wanted some time alone with you."

"Cool, make yourself at home," Stepping aside, the blonde opened the door a bit wider for his friend. "Sorry it's a bit messy, I was planning to clean up before you guys showed up."

The pair had made their way to Clay's living room. It was nice, but still a bit messy just as he said. As the blonde began to pick up after himself, the pair had a bit of small banter.

"Is Elise gonna come by this afternoon?" Nick watched as Clay picked up a couple of items sitting on the coffee table.

"Uh, no. I think she had work today."

"Oh, what about Y/n?"

Clay tensed, pausing for a second. She had been on his mind a lot since the last time he saw her. The way she looked at him... it hurt. It felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. This morning she was all he could think of. He missed her good morning texts, the way she'd update him about little situations happening in her schedule, when she would randomly face time him just to say: 'I wanted to see your stupid face because I missed it.'

"I... she's not coming."

"Why's that?"

"You know why, Nick." Clay let out a sigh, taking a seat on the couch. He didn't know what he could do, he was the one who messed everything up. If he tried to apologize, he might even piss Y/n off even more. She had always been a hardass about being hurt or betrayed, it was hard for her to give people a second chance. "I don't even think she knows we're all planning to meet up later today."

"Dude... it's weird seeing you two like this. It feels wrong." The two friends looked at one another, it seemed like Nick could tell exactly what Clay was thinking. 'It is wrong.'

"I miss her. But I was also the one who fucked everything up by ignoring her for weeks."

"Why'd you even do that?"

"Because I fell in love with her. I was scared she didn't feel the same. So I distanced myself and looked for someone to start a relationship with. That's why I met Elise."

"Clay... you're an idiot."

"I know."

Turning, Wilbur looked at Y/n. She was halfway finished with her meal. Everything was going great, she seemed so happy just to be able to talk with two friends. It seemed like the best time to spring the idea on her.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Yes, Wilbur?"

He bit his lip, glancing at the man sitting on the other side of the table. George gave a brief nod, knowing what was going to happen next. "George and I had an idea we'd like to share with you."

"What is it?"

"You know how you've been talking about how you've always wanted to visit us in London?"

"Yeah..."

Wilbur paused, looking back at George for a second. "Well, we were thinking... I have a free room in my place. Why don't you spend one of two months with me just to see how you like London?"

Y/n's face lit up. "That sounds great, Wilbur. I... wow. That sounds so fun!" She paused, her smile disappeared. "But what about my house? I can't just abandon it for a month."

Wilbur bit his lip, 'Shit.'

"Clay can stop by once a week, just to make sure everything's fine. I'm positive he'll do it for you," George was quick to jump into the conversation. As soon as he mentioned Clay, Wilbur shot him a look. Y/n tensed at the sound of his name.

"Listen Y/n, you don't have to do it. Just keep the idea in mind, you can give me an answer before George and I leave."

"Okay..." Y/n bit her lip, looking at her food. She knew the only right answer was yes, but it was going to be hard to talk to Clay about this. "I think... I think I wanna do this. I wanna go with you guys."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, but... just give me some time to think it over."

"We're always here for you, Y/n. No pressure." Wilbur placed a hand on Y/n's. He wanted her to come to London, everything would be better. He cared a lot about Y/n, he really did. He just wanted to see her happy.

"I just want her to be happy," Clay let out a sigh, opening the refrigerator door. His eyes skimmed over what there was, he had gone grocery shopping the other day to plan for today. He still wasn't hungry.

"Everything's gonna get-" Nick paused, he was interrupted by the sound of Clay's phone ringing. There was a moment of silence as the blonde closed the refrigerator, approaching his phone on the kitchen counter.

"It's Y/n."

"What?"

"Do I pick it up?" Clay glanced at his friend.

"yes, yes, yes! Do it!"

Clay was quick to pick up the phone, putting it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Clay."

"Hey, Y/n."

"Do you..." she paused, "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Yeah, I can talk." Clay leaned against the counter, listening to her intently. It had only been a few days, but he missed her voice. He could tell she was down.

"I know this seems like the wrong time to be asking for favors and everything, considering everything that has happened this last week. But... I need your help with something." She paused again. He could tell she was hesitating, as though something was keeping her back. "I think I'm gonna be gone for a while. And I just need someone to check up with my house every couple of days. Could you do that? It's fine if you don't want to, it was a stupid idea of me to ask you anyways-"

"No, yeah. Of course, I'll check up on your house for you, Y/n." He was quick to cut her off. The last thing he wanted was for her to think she couldn't turn to him for help anymore. "And it's not stupid of you to ask me. I'll always be here if you need something or need help."

She scoffed, "You weren't there for me these past few weeks." She stopped herself again for the third time. "I'm sorry, that was really bitchy of me."

"I deserved it," he could only chuckle. Y/n was still herself. "But yeah, is there anything else you need... or want to talk about?"

"I... no. No, that's it. I guess I'll talk to you... eventually."

"Alright," Clay fought back the urge to let out a disappointed sigh. "I'll see you." Without saying goodbye, she hung up the phone. He didn't know what to expect next, he wasn't even sure whether this was a step in the right direction or not.

Staring at the box, Y/n felt herself tear up for the hundredth time this week. This was going to be a hard task to complete, but it was going to help her let go.

Walking around the house, Y/n picked up item by item. Anything that belonged to Clay was going in the box. A few t-shirts, a couple of CDs she stole, one of his coffee cups. Y/n wasn't even sure how the cup had gotten to her house, but she knew it belonged to Clay. All of her coffee cups matched, all the same color and shape. But... this one cup had shown up in her pantry one day. Every time Clay had spent the night, he'd start the morning off with a cup of coffee, only using that cup.

At this point, Y/n was picking up items that held too strong memories of him. The box had quickly filled, it felt strange. It seemed like she had just lost a chunk of her house. Of her life. This needed to happen. This was the only way they'd be able to keep their friendship.

Y/n had agreed to come to London with Wilbur, she was finally fully on board. Two suitcases sat by her front door as she waited for Wilbur and George to arrive. She would only be in Florida for a few more hours, she needed to give this box back to him. Maybe she could just say screw it, leave it here under her bed, hidden away. So when she'd return she'd be comforted by his shirts and hoodies, she'd listen to his songs and cry.

No. She couldn't do that. If she did that she wouldn't be letting go of everything. Y/n needed closure, it'd be the best for them both and she knew it. Pulling her out of her thoughts, Y/n heard a knock on her door. It was time.

"Morning, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur." Y/n smiled, embracing her friend in a hug as soon as she opened the door.

"George is in the car. We got coffee too." Wilbur looked down at her, his arms still wrapped around her waist, holding her close. "You're positive you want to do this?"

"Yes, I need to."

"Alright, then. I'll support you with whatever decision you make." He finally stepped aside, moving to grab her suitcases. Y/n grabbed the box, she had moved it into the hallway before greeting Wilbur. With one more glance, she looked down her hallway before closing the door. As soon as her home was locked up, Y/n had dropped her keys into the box. This was going to be the final step before London. Giving it all back.

George and Y/n greeted each other, Y/n giving him a quick hug before entering the car. The rest of the time, the car ride was quiet. There was obviously going to be tension. On their way, Y/n kept thinking to herself about what she was going to say. What if she fucked it all up? What if they broke out into another fight?

"Here we are."

Y/n sucked in a breath, looking over at the familiar house. This was the final step.

"Y/n, do you need either of us to walk up with you?" Wilbur spoke, he noticed the way she looked at the house.

She shook her head. "No, I got this..." Stepping out of the car, there were only a few words she'd repeat to herself. 'This is the final step. This is the final step. This is the final step.' It felt like it took forever for her to reach his porch.

As soon as she was face to face with the wooden door, she was quick to hit the doorbell. She just wanted to get this over with, fast. A few moments passed, and just as she reached to hit the doorbell again, she stepped back. The door was opening.

"Y/n?" Clay yawned, his hair was a mess. It was obvious she had just woken him up. "What are you-"

"It's time for me to go now. I'm sorry for waking you up. Here are my keys and a few of your items in case you wanted them while I was-"

"Woah, woah, woah." He interrupted her, rubbing his eyes. "Slow down, you're talking fast. You're leaving? Right now?"

"I..." she sighed. "Yeah, I am."

"And this..." he looked down at the box in her hands. "They're all mine?"

"Yeah, that's kinda the whole point." She gave him a look, "Considering the box says your name."

"Alright... thank you," he nodded, carefully picking the box up from her. "How long are you gonna be gone?"

"I'm not sure. I just know I have to go."

"Why?"

"Because of us, Clay. It'd be better for both of us. We need time apart. We have so much going on in each other's lives. I just need a break."

He watched her, she looked close to tears. Without thinking, Clay pulled his friend into his embrace, holding her close. "I understand. Take as much time as you need. I'll be here."

"Thank you."

The hug was short, Y/n was the first to pull away. As soon as it was over, she muttered a quick goodbye, hurrying back to the car. When the car door shut, Wilbur was quick to jump to asking questions.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything? You're completely sure you want to do this?"

"I'm fine, Wilbur."

"Alright, I just wanted to check." Wilbur paused, looking out the window. "Y/n, would you mind if George and I said our goodbyes to Clay?"

"Go ahead, I'm not the boss of you."

Sitting in the car alone, Y/n got a moment to catch her breath and stop the tears from forming. She did it. She completed the final step. She could do whatever she wanted now. The moment alone in the car felt short, George and Wilbur were back in the car in what felt like seconds. Only, Wilbur sat in the back with Y/n, George driving by himself.

"You ready, Y/n?"

"More than anything." Y/n looked at Wilbur, the way he smiled at her just felt... good. Looking down, she noticed Wilbur gently grabbing her hand in his. She smiled, things were going to start getting good for her, she knew it.

"Wow okay, now I just feel like a driver for you two." George shot a dirty look in the mirror.

"A bad driver," Y/n grinned at her friend. "Start moving, Mr. colorblind." "If I get a ticket for running a red light, I'm blaming you."

With a yawn, Y/n opened her eyes. She had another good night of sleep, it had been weeks since she had a bad night of sleep. For eight months, she had lived in London. At this point, her house in Flordia was sold to a family of three, and she was no longer flatmates with Wilbur. Instead, she was his girlfriend.

Turning over, she faced the beautiful brunette. He was still asleep. She owed him everything. She was now an influencer because of him, he had helped her set up her YouTube channel and introduced her to the fans. He thought it'd be a good job for her, considering how she was a social butterfly and carry conversations.

Clay and Y/n didn't interact as much as they use to. They'd interact on the Dream SMP and over social media. But it was rare for them to speak in private. The only way their relationship got better was by them distancing themselves. What was a beautiful friendship had turned into an acquaintanceship. Clay was still dating Elise, but it seemed like things weren't going the best and there were signs of him planning to break up with her soon.

Wilbur peeked an eye open, looking at his girlfriend. "Morning, Y/n."

"Morning, Wilbur."

Y/n smiled, she knew she was right. Everything got better for her. After all, When the rain ends, there will always be a rainbow.

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