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#'BECAUSE IF WE DON'T THEN THEY'RE JUST BUYING TIME FOR *THESE GUYS* TO COME!!!!'
marikosenwrites · 1 day
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karasuno boys - dating headcanons (pt. 1)!
a/n: sen here!! heyy obsessing over our haikyuu boys are we <3 yes i am i'm only on season two right now though, almost season three!! i'll be doing aoba jousai, nekoma, and fukuroudani gakuen! enjoy!
characters: hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, tanaka ryuunosuke, sawamura daichi, sugawara koushi (suga-san🥹), tsukishima kei (TSUKKI🥹) [pt. 1], yamaguchi tadashi, takeda ittetsu (just me and one of my favorites), ukai keishin [and in that order] {pt.2}
pt. 1 || pt. 2
notes: in this au, kiyoko can't be married to tanaka...yeah. they're still in highschool, btw
gn!reader
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↳ ❝ [ 日向翔陽 HINATA SHOUYOU ] ¡! ❞
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-this cutie omg
-probably the first to confess
-gets all blushy when you're around at the start of the relationship
-you love ruffling his hair
-if you watch him practice until the end, he treats you to meat buns!! if he doesn't have enough money, he'll just share one with you
-kageyama is jealous omg and tsukishima is just like "the chibi got a girlfriend??"
-loves you so very much
-his love language HAS to be words of affirmation and physical affection
-you just can't help but return the affection
-if you don't know how to play volleyball, he's gonna teach you!!
-if you know- he's going to ask you to talk to him
-dates will be chaotic and affectionate
-often cooking dates!
-you love his family especially natsu
-also love them amusement park dates with him
-he's so fun loving and all
-kisses are very innocent, close to no spice at all except when he's feeling super annoyed or something
-loves cuddling with you when it's bedtime <33
-does NOT have a specific schedule rest assured
-calls you his dove (aww)
-you love calling him sunshine <333
-HE'S JUST SO BRIGHT
-I SWEAR
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↳ ❝ [ 影山飛雄 KAGEYAMA TOBIO ] ¡! ❞
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-a sweetheart actually
-he's so cold on the outside but lights up when you're there
-kisses have a little bit of spice
-he's too prideful to confess first ig so you make the move
-loves it when you come to his practice to support him
-at some point he has requested you to become a manager because sometimes ukai thinks you're a distraction for him so asks you to walk out for a bit to let kageyama concentrate
-you bet he has worried over it because he didn't know where you went
-ok onto the main shit
-dates are always somehow sport related (HOW DOES HE KEEP FINDING THEM)
-sometimes an outing or two when he's actually free and not busy with volleyball stuff
-you'd think he isn't clingy...WELL IT'S THE OPPOSITE ALRIGHT.
-he actually craves YOUR attention and YOURS ONLY
-i think you two would have a cat together (named it NOTHING after the other volleyball players you know :/)
-loves your cuddles too
-WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT
-YOU KNOW HE BUYS THEM DRINKS RIGHT
-HE WOULD BUY LIKE HUNDREDS FOR YOU IF YOU WANT
-aww the little (wait he's tall) guy
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↳ ❝ [ 田中龍之介 TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE ] ¡! ❞
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-the hot-headed guy just can't get enough of you
-you sometimes make fun of him for being almost bald-
-but he's okay with it because he loves you (as long as you dont do it that often)
-okay so firstly like kiyoko WHEN HE SEES YOU HE CONFESSES TO YOU ALMOST IMMEDIATELY
-one second he's dumbfounded by your beauty, the other he's confessing to you already
-like you reject him first few times
-AND THEN AND THEN YOU START TO FALL FOR HIM
-THEREFORE YOU ACCEPT WOOOOO
-it's uh "Y/N-SAN! I LIKE YOU CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!!!" and then you're just like "ah- yeah. mhm."
-he's just like :o WHAT
-okay that's it for the confession
-dates are always what you want
-if it happens you want to make cake, go for an ice cream shop, an amusement park- whatever, you name it and he can afford it? YOU'RE GOING
-they're all so sweet...
-he's also needy at some point when you're dating
-so...MORE IN MY NSFW LATER
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↳ ❝ [ 菅原孝史 SUGAWARA KOUSHI ] ¡! ❞
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-i'm gonna bet 100 dollars that he's the one confessing
-STEP ONE: get you as his girlfriend
-firstly he's going to ask you to meet him during lunch in the morning
-second when you're both there he confesses
-to his surprise you accept to go out with him and one date turns into two, into three and ON
-STEP TWO: MORE DATES TO COMEEE
-always ice cream dates and baking dates
-always appears to get flour in his fluffy hair
-ALSO ALSO YOU LOVE PATTING HIS HAIR AT ALL TIMES IT'S LIKE COMFORTING YOURSELF
-sometimes picnics too <333
-STEP THREE: there is none for now but THERE WILL BE SOON. SOON ENOUGH.
-his way of giving you affection is by kissing you, cuddling, and giving you praises...
-do you have a praise kink (nvm forget i asked that)
-cuddling in bed is one of his favorite ways to go to sleep
-you stroking his back is too
-you guys are always the talk of the karasuno vb boys group when you guys get together for gatherings (the perfect couple?!?!?!?!)
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↳ ❝ [ 澤村大地 SAWAMURA DAICHI ] ¡! ❞
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-he's definitely the one to confess first being the big boy man he is <3
-literally will kiss you when you accept
-so taken aback you felt like you were going to faint
-his kisses are so gentle help
-ok maybe not sometimes but we all know when that is
-love playing with his ears mayybe?? i know there's nothing different with the rest, but i just feel like it's with daichi
-your first date is an amusement park one ✨✨
-p.s. you shared the cotton candy lmao-
-he literally walked you home and your parents invited him in for dinner
-they like him very much thank you
-relationship has been approved now your parents are urging him to marry you even though it's only one week into the relationship-
-now HE'S the one that pats your head every time he passes you in the hallway or whatsoever
-when you move in together LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS YOUR CHOICE NOW
-you can choose the flat, the decorations, the vibes, the furniture- EVERYTHING
-loves you that much yes
-the sweetest guy ever NO DEBATE
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↳ ❝ [ 月島蛍 TSUKISHIMA KEI ] ¡! ❞
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-SALTY SHIMA. THIS MAN IS SO SALTY
-i swear bro
-he has rizz though that's for sure
-he confesses to you first (it was during lunch you remember the day like it was yesterday)
-his kisses are half spicy (igg since tsukishima is that kinda person)
-the mean to the public and only kind to you kind of person <3
-dates are usually home dates (he's an introvert (i headcanon))
-perhaps if you can persuade him (it's a 50/50)
-first date was a movie date
-then you went home with him (you went to his house)
-and met his parents
-they liked you very much <33 now treat you like their daughter
-the next time you went on a date, you brought him to yours and he made a good impression but they don't love him as much as his parents do to you
-i will write the time skip arc for this because i am biased and you literally can't stop me (but tell me if you want more i'll reblog it with more hcs)
-you were so happy for him when he joined the sendai frogs
-cheered for him on every game (LIKE THE SHIRT AND THE SIGNS AND STUFF)
-facepalmed himself out of spite ya bet he got a scolding for that
-"KEI KEI KEI GANABTTE," that was you, screaming at the top of your lungs at your HUSBAND.
-"oi, tsukki, who's that?"
-tsukishima facepalmed himself, earning a glare from you, "my wife."
-"EHH?? TSUKKI HAS A WIFE??"
-lmao the most normal occurrence
-after that koganegawa would often come to you and ask for dirt on kei (screw him for facepalming)
-saltyshima (in the public) → sweetieshima (in front of you only)
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©marikosenwrites 2024-25 all banners, dividers, and work. please do not steal. i own none of the HAIKYUU!!/ハイキュー!! characters mentioned. reblogs, likes, and comments are welcomed. <3
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cheriedarliingz · 2 days
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i love being cared for and spoiled just as much as the next lesbian, but it's so important to do the same for the other person in the relationship.
helping them out when they've had a bad day, give them a shoulder to cry on or a neck to hide their face in, reassure them that they'll be ok no matter how much the world feels like it's crashing down on just them and them alone. or if they're not that much into physical touch, just lending an ear helps. even if you can't give them great advice, just being there and letting them get their bad day off their chest says a lot, and it means even more. and some people don't like to talk about their bad days. that's ok too. sometimes it's just space that they need but sometimes they just need to be distracted from their bad day. indulge in some of their favorite hobbies with them, watch a comfort show/movie of their's, cook them their favorite meal.
remembering the little things and doing them just because. adding in small details that you've remembered they hold so dear to their heart for whatever reason. it always feels good to know you're actually being listened to.
can we pls normalize femmes paying for stuff? just a little bit???? please queens/kings????? listen guys, i'm not complaining if you want to take care of me financially, i am a broke bitch! but WHEN i do have money, (not very often😞) at least let me buy you some ice cream with it or SOMETHIN'- PLEASE! i know ice cream isn't a super big responsibility but it's always felt weird to me seeing the relationship dynamic where one person supports themselves and their partner financially, and the partner doesn't even reciprocate it occasionally???? THIS IS NOT ME DEMONIZING THIS LIL DYNAMIC OR WTV, i just personally do not vibe with it. but do whatever makes you happy, bbgs. i know there are other ways of taking care of someone other than supporting them financially but i'd love to even be able to do it just once in a while, if not all the time. (all the time is not likely bcs once again i can't save money for shit....)
i know i mentioned this for like five seconds in my first or second lil paragraph but cooking is such a reassuring thing to do. cooking someone their favourite meal or just any meal is a love language that we look past too often and i am sick of it!!!!! (this is coming from someone who tried to make homeade hamburger helper with burrito beef two nights ago btw... don't look at me.) it's such a quiet way of love admittance. but then genuineness is there and it's abundant. mostly if your partner is of culture, i bet that would be an amazing and quite heartwarming surprise for them to see. (meow:3)
i could go on and on and on about reciprocity but it's 2am and i don't feel like writing anymore...
⁻ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵇʸ ᵃ ᵐᶦⁿᵒʳ, ᵐᵉⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵈⁿᶦ ᵃᶜᶜˢ ᵈⁿᶦᵎ
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hua-fei-hua · 10 months
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last night i had a dream that had something to do with reading a fic abt . well i wanna say "a haunted forest diner" but i've already written a haunted forest diner fic and it was not at all like that. anyway, it was this haunted forest diner fic in the sense that all its patrons were old forest gods of like decay and shit and in order to sneak in, you had to transform into like a deer, and apparently i was a supremely graceful jumper for a stag
but anyway i dreamt that that was a fic that i had apparently read and commented on months ago, but for w/e reason i had never read the replies to, and the author had replied that i seemed like a cool person n that they would have loved to have read some stuff i had written "but it seems you do not have any genshin works up..."
and honest to god all i could think upon reading that was literally "lol skill issue"
#and then i dreamt that i got one of those defeat the 8-12 hilichurl comms in genshin n i was like fine fine w/e#but after killing two i somehow figured out that they were not trying to kill me but instead trying to kidnap me to be their medic#and i was intrigued enough to be like 'okay' n sat down on this white blanket thing they had set aside for me#n one of my friends (don't remember who) was like 'yo you good?' n i was like 'yeah they just want me to be their medic'#n my friend looked at me suspiciously n was like 'well the comm isn't over you have six more to kill but if you need me i'll be over there'#n she pointed to where the trumpets i knew in high school (minus cody? i think?) were having sectionals under some trees#it was definitely trumpet sectionals but for whatever reason my brain decided to edit out cody So fucking True get redacted idiot#anyway so i just waited around in the warm sun untild a bunch of humanoid creatures started coming down the hill#i think they were supposed to be bosses or smth but none of them are in gnshn even tho we were def in mond or liyue by this point#and they all had different colored faces but anyway my friend was like 'THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO DEFEAT ALL THE HILICHURLS!!!'#'BECAUSE IF WE DON'T THEN THEY'RE JUST BUYING TIME FOR *THESE GUYS* TO COME!!!!'#n i was like 'oh shit!!' n we started fighting them n they were really tanky but we got most of them except for the blue one#and so i went back to the haunted diner place n entered it as a human n went upstairs where i found the author in my dreams#n she said that we couldn't talk long bc the blue guy was after me but she'd distract it by joining its side#and also there was like this whole subplot in between abt like uhhh exchanging love for power i think? idk i don't remember rn#i just remember that the author temporarily exchanged some of her like. goodwill or smth to buy me time to prepare for my fight#with the blue guy and so i hiding in the bathroom listened w my ear pressed against the wall as she became corrupted n then it was#my turn to fight the blue guy n i opened up the door n stuff but then i woke up :c#anyway so that was MY dream diary for today everyone leave your own recent dreams in the replies and we can have a discussion lol#花話
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hauntedorpheum · 2 years
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the heretics had so much potential
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elodieunderglass · 1 year
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the first chapter of Moby Dick rewritten in tiresome modern idiom
CHAPTER 1. Loomings.
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - it's none of your business how many - being mostly broke, and bored with the land part of the world, I thought I would sail around a little and look at the watery part of the world. I'm probably the most mentally healthy person you know. Whenever I feel my face getting grim; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself accidentally reading the ads in the window of funeral homes, and following funeral processions through traffic; and especially when I'm hangry, and only my extremely strong moral principles stop me from deliberately going out in public and methodically slapping people's earbuds out - then I know it's high time to get to sea, ASAP. This is my substitute for getting in fights. I'm too mentally healthy to kill myself; I quietly and considerately put myself on a ship and sail myself away instead. There is nothing surprising in this. Everyone feels exactly the same way, and if they don't, they're lying.
You think I'm lying? Exhibit A: a city. Go to your local coastal city. Everyone is looking at the water. They drive over from other neighborhoods just to come to the water. They make a day of it. They're not doing anything, they're just staring at the ocean. Why? Is it because they all work office jobs? No! Here come more of them! They cram themselves up to the edge of the water and stare at it. WHAT DO THEY WANT? WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT. Perhaps the ships themselves all packed together, each one with several compasses on it, creates some kind of critical mass - all of the small compass-magnets on all the ships in the harbor combining into one really big magnetic field - and the people get sucked into the field and trapped there. That's science.
Exhibit 2: the countryside with lakes in it. Every path you follow in the countryside brings you to some water, such as a stream. There is magic in it. If you take your standard fool with ADHD dissociating in the middle of a supermarket and put them outside and give them a shove, they'll automatically lead you to water (if there is any nearby) (try it). Another good experiment to try is to get lost in the great American desert in a caravan supplied with a metaphysical professor! Try it in the great American desert at home!
Yes, as everyone knows, meditation and water are a match made in heaven. Married forever. That's science.
Here's an artist who wants to paint you the dreamiest, most enchanting landscape. What does he put in it? Trees, meadow, cows, a cottage with smoke coming from the chimney, obviously. He will probably put a path in it and make lots of triangular mountains in rows and have them be different shades of blue (naturally.) But there's gotta be a stream in it. Go visit the prairies in June, and wade for forty miles through knee-deep through tiger lilies. What's missing from this picture? Water!
If Niagara Falls was made of sand instead of water, would you travel your thousand miles to see it? Why would a guy given a handful of cash have trouble deciding whether to buy a coat (which he needed) or go to the beach? Why are all the best, healthiest, sexiest and most mentally healthy people obsessed with the sea? (You get me.) When you were first on a boat, did you not succumb to VIBES? Consider ancient Persia. Consider ancient Greece. They understood about vibes, and also gods.
SURELY ALL OF THIS IS NOT WITHOUT MEANING.
And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all! You get me! You understand it now.
Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I get weird, don't you dare imply that I buy a ticket and get on a boat. I have never had money in my life. How dare you. Anyway I don't go as a passenger - that's bougie, and something boring people do. Passengers never have a good time. And although my C.V. is incredible - I go to sea SO MUCH, you guys, I have lots of experience - I don't go as a boss, or a cook. That sounds like far too much work. Hard work. Disgusting, respectable, bougie, and far too responsible. I can literally only look after myself. Do not ask me to look after ships or shit. In fact, I have only a vague idea of what a ship is. There's so many different kinds of ships - don't get me started and DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Also, I'm allergic to glory.
It's kind of attractive to go as a cook. I mean, I'm allergic to glory and there's some glory attached to the position of the ship's cook, but, like, you're not management-track and so it's still credible. But I don't really want to cook (say) roast chicken. I really fucking love to eat roast chicken. I'm one of the best at doing it actually. I really appreciate when people go out of their way to butter, season, baste and roast a chicken for me. Picture a roast chicken and I am Looking Respectfully at it. Maybe something more, maybe I'm worshipping it. Don't make this weird. If you want to get weird about my relationship with roasted chicken, why aren't you getting weird about the ancient Egyptians? They ate roasted hippos (look it up) and the pyramids were basically pizza ovens. So it's pretty hypocritical to think that I'm being weird about roasted chicken when I've never made mummies out of chickens or built a religious pizza oven dedicated to honoring them: check and mate, haters.
Anyway - I like to go to sea as a manual laborer. A simple sailor. Salt of the earth… er… sea. Yeah, true: as a job it sucks. They make you jump around, order you around, treat you like shit. They expect you to jump around the boat like a grasshopper. And yes, at first, this sucks. It's degrading, especially if you come from a middle-class family. Worse, it's awful if you've already had some kind of professional job before signing on to be the dirt on the boss's boots - like, if you went to college and worked as a teacher and actually got kids to pay attention to you, really feeling this connection to work/teaching/identity or some shit, and now you are just literally the scum on this captain's boots, in the lowest possible job in the world. It hurts! It hurts your dignity. But the hurt, and also the dignity, both wear off in time.
So what if some old bastard sea captain orders me - ME! - to get a broom and sweep down the decks? What does that indignity amount to, compared to the shit in the Bible, compared to the shit in the news, compared to the shit everyone else has to take. Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain’t a slave? Tell me that. We're all just serfs under capitalism, right, so why not just be honest about it: I prefer the honesty. Anyway, however the old sea captains may order me about - slapping and punching of course - I have the satisfaction of knowing that it's the same experience everyone else on Earth has, but more honest. Everyone else in the world is being served the exact same way. Either in a physical or a metaphysical way - sometimes people get the shit beaten out of them in person, sometimes online, sometimes emotionally, it happens to you in EVERY JOB, you sign on to get pushed around and slapped in the teeth: so the point is that when you're a sailor, it's a clean and honest slap. All the workers of the world share the same universal slap to the face that gets passed round, one slap passed all 'round the chain, like paying it forward, but it's a slap; and we should all accept this Universal Slap as the price of living, and then offer each other healing back massages, brother to brother, and slap each other and then kissed the places we slapped, and be happy.
I could examine that but I'm not going to.
Anyway: I always go to sea as a sailor. I've said that already. You're welcome. BUT THE POINT IS, they pay you. If you're a passenger, they don't pay you, at least, not that I've ever heard of [citation needed] (do they pay passengers?? Is there a job I can get where I can be a passenger and get paid?? Look this up.) Yeah so passengers have to pay. And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. (That's Adam and Eve. You get it.) But BEING PAID. GETTING PAID IS THE BEST. NOTHING COMPARES TO GETTING PAID. EVERYONE LOVES THAT SHIT. Which is surprising, since we also apparently believe that money is the root of all evil, and isn't there something in the bible about "no rich people can get into heaven," right? And yet it's universal, literally everyone loves payday. Ah! How cheerfully we send ourselves to hell.
Finally, I always go to sea as a sailor (I've said this already) because it's FRESH AIR AND EXERCISE. Okay so think about ships. Normally, bosses stand on the "bridge" thing, and because we're sailing a boat, the nose is going into the wind and the butt part of the boat is at the back. That's how wind works. But if you think about it, winds usually go in one direction more than other directions (unless the men have been eating beans and farting: it's Pythagoras, look it up) SO if you're a boss standing on the boss-deck, the wind is blowing FROM the sailors TOWARDS you, and YOU ARE ACTUALLY BREATHING THE AIR THAT SAILORS ALREADY BREATHED. The boss THINKS he breathes it first, but he doesn't. He gets the air at the BACK of the boat and sailors get the air at the FRONT. So it's better to be at the front of the boat (sailor) for health reasons. This is a metaphor for life and work, etc.
But I have smelled the sea lots of times as a paid sailor and WHY I should decide to go on a whaling expedition - ok so you know how there's an invisible police officer of the Fates who has me under constant surveillance, who secretly dogs me, and influences me in some unaccountable way? YOU get me. You know him. "The poor FBI agent tasked with reading my search engine history" YOU GET ME. Anyway, "Ishmael, why, after having a perfectly well-reasoned, and very smart of you, part-time job as a spontaneous random sailor, did you decide to escalate that to joining a WHALING EXPEDITION, which is worse in every way?" Well, ask my fucking secret FBI agent, he can answer better than anyone else. Including me. You get me. Also, obviously, this was predestined, part of the Universe's Grand Programme for its talent show, which was all scheduled way before our time. The concept of sending me on the whaling voyage comes in as a kind of interlude or solo between the main performances of the Universe's great talent show. I bet it was advertised llike,
"PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF THE UNITED STATES EMBROILED IN ONGOING LEGAL DISPUTE.
Whaling voyage by some guy called Ishmael.
BLOODY BATTLE IN AFGHANISTAN."
Like a commercial break in between the big acts. A filler episode. Lightens the load for everyone else. Though I can't explain why the stage managers - the Fates - chose such a shitty role for me, a WHALING VOYAGE of all things, when it feels like others were given magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces - it seems a little unreasonable at first. Why doth Ishmael get shat upon, etc. But then I think about all the circumstances, the plot points and motivations that were cunningly presented to me under various disguises - FBI agents, bouts of random hanger, gay awakenings, you get me - and you can see that actually, I was set up. And worse, between them all, these Fates and Circumstances conspired to make me believe it was all my own choice and good judgment. Is Free Will an illusion? Are my decisions bad? We will NEVER know because I, Ishmael, am just a little guy that the Universe plays head games with.
One of the ways the Universe tricked me into starring in this performance and then mocking me for it was the overwhelming idea of the great whale himself (whaling expeditions usually contain whales.) Such a portentous and mysterious monster roused all my curiosity. Then of course, if you have a whale, you have the wild and distant seas where the whale rolls around with his body-the-size-of-an-island; the dangers and nameless perils of the whale; whales are also found in interesting places I haven't seen; this all tipped me over the edge. Maybe normal people could've resisted, but I am tormented with an everlasting itch for obscurity. I hate everyone else's oceans. I want the forbidden seas.
You know The Horrors? Of course you do. You might be surprised that I, the most mentally healthy person you've ever met, a person who is self-aware enough to go to sea when they're at their fucking limits, a guy who likes fresh air and manual labor and normal things, is familiar with The Horrors. Well, you'd be surprised. I know what's good, I'm an extrovert. But I'm still quick to perceive The Horrors. And how I deal with the horrors is a very extroverted thing: I'm social with them, if they'll let me. It's smart to be on good terms with The Horrors. You should always be on good terms with your permanent neighbors. That's how extroverts deal with The Horrors, and I recommend it.
I think that's enough explanation for why I welcomed the whaling voyage. The great flood-gates of the wonder-world swung open, and in the wild figments of imagination that pushed me into doing it, the whales came marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah. They marched into my innermost soul in endless processions and occupied it, you see, I was quite helpless under this occupation - I consented to the haunting and the whales marched in to haunt me - and amidst them all was one grand shrouded white phantom, like a snowy mountain in the air.
You get it.
You know how it is, with whales.
(read the actual first chapter of Moby Dick here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm)
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irisintheafterglow · 6 months
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Can I request a racer!bakugo showing off his two most precious things after winning a big race, the trophy and his girl pleaseee?
THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE LOVE LOVE <33 also i can't find it but this is definitely inspired by that one bakugo fic where he's doing a vogue interview about the things he can't leave the house or live without (if anyone knows the link for it please please let me know because it's one of my all-time favorites)
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"oh, look! it's bakugo! hey, man!"
"the hell are you doing outside my house?" the interviewer laughs nervously behind the camera, but your boyfriend's scowl doesn't move. it's a wonder that he's still viewed positively in the public eye despite his brash personality. you pinch the bridge of your nose with your fingers and avert your eyes from the second-floor window, sending another prayer begging for him to behave. the interview took place in his own home, for crying out loud. shouldn't he be the most comfortable in his safest space?
the answer is, unfortunately, no.
"i'm uh, here for your '73 questions' interview with vogue. d'you mind if i step inside with you?" he grunts reluctantly in response, swinging the front door open unceremoniously. you pity the poor guy who had to follow your husband around and chuck questions at him like armed grenades; there was always a chance that he would blow up. "so, where were you coming from?"
"grocery store. you want a drink?" good. at least he remembers his manners. "we got water, juice...i ain't giving you alcohol. i don't even know who the hell you are." never mind.
you spend the next 12-something minutes following their one-sided conversation around the house, careful to stay out of sight and silently begging your boyfriend to at least act a little warmer. the only time he does open up, much to the delight of fans, is when he's talking about you.
"'the things most precious to me?' i don't fuckin' know," you can hear him say plainly. you'd resigned to your shared bedroom to finish up some work when you heard the telltale calls of babe, c'mere! babe. babe. babe! from downstairs. with a huff, you set down your pen and make your way into the living room, where you see him holding his latest first-place trophy. it shines under the afternoon sun coming through the backyard windows. the camera pans to you in surprise and you thank your earlier self for wearing something other than pajamas.
"babe, c'mere," he insists and you roll your eyes in exasperation. his arm slips around your waist and you're suddenly hyperaware of the camera that's going to post your image to millions of people. "alright, nerd, you asked me what i wanna show off? they're right here," he boasts proudly and your face starts to heat up. "got my badass lover, my big-ass trophy, and i don't need anything else," he says with unexpected tenderness. "you got that?"
"y-yeah, i got it," the interviewer stutters out. "uh, thank you-"
"the hell do you look so nervous for? i don't fuckin' bite," he says and the man stammers again. "i don't know why i bother doing all this shit," he murmurs in your ear.
"this is why outlets are so scared to interview you, kats," you whisper and he shrugs indifferently. "you scare reporters too easily."
"don't care. i just wanna relax and spend my day off with you. i'm too tired to be dealing with this shit," he grumbles and you laugh under your breath. "baby?"
"hmm?"
"can you do me a big favor?" you narrow your eyes suspiciously while the cameraman fumbles about with his equipment, packing up to leave.
"depends on the favor," you say carefully. "will i need to compromise my morals?" your boyfriend barks out a laugh, and the reporter startles.
"no, no. nothing like that," he reassures you and drops his volume so that only you can hear him. "baby, sweetheart, love of my life?"
"yes, katsuki?"
"please get this man the fuck out of our house."
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yuri-is-online · 10 months
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Out With the Old (Heartsabyul, Savanaclaw, and Octavinelle x Yuu)
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"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."
"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"
"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."
notes: they/them used for Yuu, some questionable behavior from Floyd and Jade because who else? This is meant to be crack. Second part can be found here (x)
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Riddle- "THAT'S LITERALLY ILLEGAL???"
He is too focused on hyperventilating because it sounds like you just admitted to a crime in front of him to even think about offering you one of his sweaters. Trey and Cater have to break it down for him unpaid therapist style that no, you are not wearing stolen property (probably), borrowing clothes is just something people in relationships often do. He then further needs it explained that no, you are not still in a relationship and since you want to get rid of the shirt it sounds like things ended poorly. His friends want to try and suggest he should give you an article of his clothing to replace the offending one but he's so focused on getting you something that matches dress code that they decide to quit while they're ahead. Literally.
Trey- "You know you can always ask us if you need help, right?"
Vil's right about Trey's tendency to fuss and spoil people being a bit of a flaw; he's in tune enough with his emotions to know that he should not, for his own sake, give you one of his old sweatshirts without being honest about why he wants you to wear it. But he can't exactly deny his instincts when it comes to the people he cares about. You're cold and uncomfortable, what sort of guy would he be if he just left you all alone? Just please don't brush this off with a comment about how much of a big brother or mother hen he is; it is already going to be pure torture trying to look at you in his things in a Queen of Hearts honoring way. He doesn't need an added complex on top of it.
Cater- "Oh honey no."
Cater doesn't like keeping stuff his exes gave him either, but luckily for him he's never been in a position where that's literally only the stuff he had on him. Speaking of things, he buys a bunch of clothes off magicam he barley has time to take the tags off of before the trend goes stale. You guys should totally ditch what you were planning to do today and have a little fashion show in his room. It'll be cute and he can get a bunch of cammable shots! Just ignore the pop music club hoodie he refuses to take back because it looks "so much cuter on you." <3
Ace- "That's extremely lame prefect."
He isn't blind; you're cute and poor. Anyone would jump at the chance to let you steal a hoodie, besides Ace isn't insecure enough to be super jealous of someone you clearly hate. He knows you well enough to tell when you are silently wishing death on someone, it's all in the vocal tone. But damn if this new bit of information doesn't make things tricky. He already makes a big fuss about not needing to focus on dating right now, and with that iconic sweatshirt of yours technically belonging to an ex it's not like he can just slide you one of his without making it super obvious what he's doing. Looks like you're just going to have to take some extra teasing for a bit prefect, it's his preferred method of cope.
Deuce- "You've been here for how long and the Headmage hasn't given you any clothes?!?!"
Deuce is a good egg whose primary concern is almost always your well being. He tends to act before his common sense and emotions can catch up with his thought process, and that's exactly what happens here. The concept of you dating someone is just so... foreign to him. Not because he thinks your undesirable! It's just that you guys are always hanging out, you not being around makes him feel a bit funny inside, and not in a good way. He doesn't mention that to his mom when he texts her asking if she has any of his old clothes laying around, but she definitely knows what's on his mind. Why else would she have sent his old delinquent jacket?
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Leona- "Well that explains why it smells like shit."
Let the record show that Leona is in fact, lying to you. Your clothes don't smell like anything other than you and maybe some of the musk floating around Ramshackle Dorm, but that doesn't stop you from pulling the fabric and taking a good sniff. To Leona, all this really suggests is that you've been over the person long enough that you don't care about keeping their scent around anymore. Sure, a tiny thought does worm it's ugly way into his inferiority complex that "oh they liked someone else" but his equally large ego immediately slams the emphasis on "liked" and starts thinking about how to get his scent on you. He doesn't really own too many jackets like the one you're wearing, but he does have some nice silk scarfs he could wrap you up in. Much classier than whatever trash you had previously been going out with.
Ruggie- "You wanna toss it my way then?"
Clothes are clothes are clothes, you don't see Ruggie acting like his uniform is still Leona's just because that's who originally bought it. If you are really bothered by the memories of your ex, he's willing to listen and make fun of them, assuming that will make you feel better, but this won't make him jealous. That emotion is reserved for when you share food with other people. He is dead serious about taking the sweatshirt if you don't want it, as far as he's concerned that shirt belongs to you, and he wouldn't mind having an excuse to blend your wardrobes a little bit. It would make you even closer to being a real member of his pack.
Jack- "You can just take mine."
Jack's strong sense of justice and firm moral code are definitely his only motivations for offering you one of his sweatshirts. Forcing a student to wear clothes they find uncomfortable and associate with negative memories just because they didn't have the foresight to pack something they did like for a school they didn't know they would be attending is beyond unfair. That's what he tells himself anyway, and it's not like he isn't upset on your behalf, but it's plain as day to anyone that he wants to prove that you can rely on him; he's not like that other person, he doesn't mind being alone together with you.
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Azul- "If your finances really are in such dire straights you know I could-"
Revealing personal information in Azul's presence is asking to be offered a deal. Sure that little complaint might have been insignificant to you, but for Azul? He's having a full blown Sherlock style breakdown going on in his head trying to decide what his angle is. 1) The prefect has dated in the past and doesn't look on that experience favorably. Does this prevent them from dating again? Needs further analysis. 2) Giving articles of clothing is an acceptable form of human courtship, even if used. Or is it especially if used? 3) Can he convince you to burn this if he gets you a replacement or is that too petty? 4) More importantly does this mean you have a type? And how does he press for that information without appearing desperate?
Jade- "Oh? Well that sounds extremely annoying."
Jade Leech is first and foremost a messy bitch who lives for other people's misery. Sure, he is reasonably certain he's in love with you at this point, but that doesn't matter. You have a story that's filled with second hand embarrassment and a bone to pick besides he is nothing if not an enthusiastic audience. The thought of you wearing clothes that he owns wasn't something he would have thought of himself, merfolk don't typically wear them so dating customs that involve them are a bit foreign to him. He would much rather just bite you. Or give you some jewelry. both he wants to do both
Floyd- "PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME"
The instant you say that sweatshirt is from an ex he is taking off whatever shirt he is currently wearing and trying to tug off yours. Yes, even if it is his basketball jersey, and yes even if he just got back from practice. Isn't the scent supposed to be the point? He knows you miss him when he's gone, and he can get you something nicer out of his closet later. Just remember to tell everyone, even and especially if they don't ask, who gave it to you. Floyd's... nice? Enough? To not immediately burn your sweatshirt but it's up for debate if that's because he's actually being nice or if he just wants a trophy.
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etherealstar-writes · 3 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 13
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pairings: woso x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: thirteen
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
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liked by ellatoone, alessiarusso99, leahwilliamsonn and 5000 others
yourusername: i'm so proud of you guys!! euros champions wooh!! 🤍💙
lottewubbenmoy: 💙💙
ellatoone: tysm!!
alessiarusso99: 💙💙💙
leahwilliamsonn: nahh what is that photo of me ↳ yourusername: lookin buzzin ↳ ellatoone: buzzin fr
stanwaygeorgia: still can't believe you wore that old rusty metal's jersey instead of mine 😔 ↳ lucybronze: it's because i'm her fav ↳ stanwaygeorgia: you wished
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
(doing a bit of timeskip and let's pretend it's been like around two months since the euros bcuz yeah)
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ guys look at what leah and i found this morning
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stairway YOU GUYS WENT WITHOUT ME ?!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ well i was gonna offer you but leah said you were busy
stairway WHAT NO I WASNT
willlybum oh well that's so sad
earpsy so this is why you were late to training
willybum i forgot we had training
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ more like wanted to forgot
willybum oi don't expose me like that
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ :)) so how's training going
neev y/n save me from this torture we'll go to nandos together and drag jessie along too
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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neev added flaming hot
flaming hot stoppp not this nickname 😭😭 and we can't go to that nandos place anymore did you two forget? we're banned from last time
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ and who's fault was that miss flaming hot
flaming hot i blame niamh for all that
neev bruh you were literally the one that said you could handle the flaming hot sauce fleming and then practically screamed dramatically about how you were dying which got us kicked out
flaming hot I WAS NOT DRAMATIC AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT PEER PRESSURED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ it was incredibly funny ngl i mean you couldn't really tell the difference from jessie's face and her national jersey colour
flaming hot stop ittt you two are meanies it literally wasn't that bad i recovered fine
neev um you were literally crying the whole day jessie
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ and we had to buy you like twenty iced drinks for you to finally cool down
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look this is you finally calming down after your twelfth drink
neev yeah not our fault you can't handle any spice flaming hot fleming but we're still kidnapping you and taking you to another nandos place tonight
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ we sure are
flaming hot i'm gonna pull a houdini
lotte oooh i wanna come along to nandos!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you're very welcome to
stairway me too!
neev absolutely not
stairway excuse you how can lotte come with you guys but not me?!
neev bcuz she isn't annoying like you are
stairway
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neev
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elton no wayy you guys
willybum oh my god i do not have the effort for this today what is she going to say
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh no
the REAL karate kid
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ona batlle uh should i be scared?
kie very much
flaming hot what is happening?
stairway
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elton did you guys know that you can lick someone's elbow (also known as their wenis) and they can't feel it
lotte righttt of course i needed to know this
flaming hot HELP WHAT 😭😭
neev the fact that i just saw georgia look at me after reading that seriously concerns me
the REAL karate kid unfortunately it's true 😭😭 she licked my wenis
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ ..... yeah i have no words
ona batlle 😭😭
steph what the hell 😭😭
rusty metal i wondered why everyone stopped working out and started looking at each other ella, i do not wanna know why you know that, and can everyone stop trying to lick each other's elbows it's freaking me out 😭😭
kie i'm convinced ella has no thoughts behind those eyes it is just elevator music. on repeat. all day. every day.
stairway i think lucy's wenis needs a licky lick
rusty metal georgia get the hell away from me
elton ALSO if you look at any object near you right now you know in your head what it would feel like when you lick it like the texture and stuff
mccard nahh that's insane i haven't licked everything near me so why would i know how it would feel?
lotte why did i just see rachel and millie taking glances at each other
rusty metal GEARGIA ISTG DONT YOU DARE TAKE A STEP TOWARDS ME CAN YOU ALL PLS STOP TRYING TO LICK THINGS WITH YOUR IMAGINATIONS Y'ALL ARE FESTY OMG 😭😭
esme NAAAHHHHH WHY DID NIAMH ACTUALLY JUST LICK SOME STUFF TO CONFIRM IF SHE IMAGINED IT RIGHT THIS IS SO WRONG 😭😭😭
flaming hot of course she would do that 😭😭
meado
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steph is this just a daily occurrence for you guys? is this normal?
door knob i'm sad to admit that it is
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ i'm kinda glad i'm not near any of this rn
flaming hot fr
neev well i wanted to know if my brain was tricking me or not
esme you didn't need to lick it tho mate 😭😭
neev
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alex nahh i'm done i'm leaving the gym just saw daly start walking towards bright like she was preparing to lick her i can't witness this today 😭😭
kie why am i not surprised that it's ella that started this again?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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ona batlle amen to that
steph seconded so glad kyra and charli aren't in this chat to contribute to this chaos omg
flaming hot amen fr 😭
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ omg kyra and cha cha! we need to add em in here too
stairway wait a sec y/n YOURE NOT BRITISH?!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ nopee lived in england almost all my life but proud aussie here 💪🇦🇺
steph ayeee 🇦🇺
willybum i cannot believe this
elton you're an imposter fr
neev and here we thought you were one of us
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ heyy i am an honourary lioness member isn't like lessi half italian?
thet REAL karate kid yeah?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ see and she's playing for england i can support both the lionesses and tillies
willybum okay but now that the wsl is starting the more important question is which club do you support?
stairway oh yeah
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh uhh i gtg do something really important rn talk to you guys later! bye!
neev y/nnnnn dont forget our nandos!! i'll be waiting!!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ i won't! better be prepared fleming
flaming hot oh no
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
part fourteen here
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celestialwhoree · 2 months
Text
🪐🩷
I write sm of Simon with like super cutie patootie sweet softie gf's and today is not one of those days!! What about Si with a sassy, snarky spitfire of a partner.
He's kind of always thought that he'd want some soft, gentle, domestic partner to offset the general frustration and struggle of his work life. Some bird in a frilly apron to coo and preen at him like a wounded puppy.
And then he meets her.
She's some intelligence officer brought on by Laswell in hopes of attaining information on targets before missions to keep things running that little bit smoother.
She's had to not only survive, but thrive in a cutthroat mans world industry for years, and she takes not one single ounce of shit from anyone.
Price will occasionally (and very much unintentionally) simplify things for her in mission briefings and she just kind of sits there with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow until he gets the memo that he doesn't need to baby her.
She never has to actually go out into the field, so whilst the guys are all training in the gym, she sits and plays games on her phone or reads some smutty romance novels.
She didn't expect to fall flat on her ass for Simon Riley, but something about how quiet and level headed he is makes her very much metaphorically swoon.
He knows it, obviously. He's observant as fuck. He sees the way she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth when she has to crane her neck in order to look up at him, or when he casually helps her with boxes of files and she shifts bashfully from foot to foot, trying not to ogle his biceps.
When they start dating, she's not even afraid of the others finding out because they're too scared of her to tease the two of them.
They move in together and she designates the guest room for all of his man stuff, only to find out that he has like three personal items and some chargers. "The fuck you mean you don't have an ugly PC?! You're a guy?" He's so confused at her confusion until later in their relationships when she tells him that all of her past partners were kind of (major) dicks and that's why she didn't really date anymore, until she met him of course.
She tries really really hard to hide when she cries before he goes off on deployment, and works ten times harder to find useful information that will increase his chance of getting home to her safe.
He buys her really sentimental presents and she tries to hide how touched she is by calling him the softie even though she shamefully piles all of his clothes on the bed with her when he's away because she misses him so much.
She buys him a dog in secret on the same day that he comes home with a cat for her and they just sort of stand there in their front entrance like that Spiderman meme where they all point at each other.
The dog and cat love each other, almost as unlikely a pair as their owners.
She and Simon go into work one day and she's got a unique, delicate little ring on her left ring finger and the guys are like 😦"You got married and didn't invite us?" "No you fucking plebs we got engaged."
Never did anyone think they'd see the day where Simon Riley got engaged and thought about settling down.
They also thought the two of them hated each other until Simon casually is like "Oh, yeah no she and I went to this great place the other night. Good steaks."
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pedrithink · 11 months
Text
understand ✩ jude bellingham
request: can you do jude and the reader arguing during their vacation and she starts crying when they're at the beach but she doesn't want him to notice but he notices and starts apologizing
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"I'm just telling you that I felt uncomfortable, that's all." You exasperate as you cross your arms. Is it so hard for Jude to understand your side?
He shakes his head impatiently. "And I'm telling you that no big deal happened."
"They were practically all over you, Jude. They were hitting on you and ignoring my existence." You roll your eyes to keep tears from escaping your eyes.
"And why does that matter? I'm with you, you know that." Jude runs his hands over his own face somewhat aggressively and, whispers. "There's no need to create a giant problem over a situation as silly as this."
"You seem to be schismatic about not understanding my side." You cross your arms. "The point is that they kept sending little papers with their instagram, sending drinks, and had the audacity to come to our table and talk to you while I stood there watching everything like an idiot." You swallow your tears and stare at him with glittering eyes. "And you did nothing."
"What did you want me to do? Please, love. They're just fans."
Jude's impatient voice only makes your heart tighter, and the moonlight, the sound of the breaking waves, and the sand invading your shoe do nothing to improve the situation.
Faced with this situation, you can only take a deep breath and hope that this is the dream and that you are not arguing while you are in such a paradisiacal place, hope that Jude understands 1% of what you are feeling right now.
"We traveled here to have fun on my vacation and look at the kind of ridiculous thing we're discussing in the middle of a party." He grimaces in dissatisfaction.
You don't have the guts to say anything else for the next 20-30 minutes and Jude much less.
You are surrounded by the noise of the party, the crashing waves and each other's pained, dissatisfied sighs.
Jude stood beside you, head down. In a way that he didn't need to face you for the moment. He knows that you need this moment of silence to think about everything you've said to each other in the few minutes you've come outside the party to talk.
But at no time does he dare leave your side. Whatever the fight may be, you don't leave each other's side without working it out.
It all started because of some women who didn't care that Jude was holding hands with you, that he was kissing you relentlessly and insatiably. They didn't care that he was with someone else and it bothered you because Jude wasn't able to say "Enough" to them, according to him, it was an unnecessary fight to buy.
You guys normally don't argue, you don't like it. You avoid it as much as possible and always respect each other's opinion and space, but this situation left you completely out of place and you tried to express this with the intention that Jude would understand your side.
Your eyes fill with tears when you hear Keshi's "Understand" playing in the background in the inner part of the party, the light touch of the music along with the sounds of the waves makes your heart squeeze because this is your song.
take you by the hand, you're the only one who understands.
Tears escape and you try to hide them as you bite down hard on your lower lip trying to keep the sobs from escaping your lips.
You don't want Jude to see you crying, but you can't stop more tears from flooding your face.
He is the person who understands you most in the whole world, so why does it seem that now you are not being understood?
Jude takes courage to look at you and is startled when he sees you crying. His heart shatters into a million pieces and the urge to pull you into a hug becomes immense, he can't resist and pulls you around your waist. "Hey, no. No, my love. I'm sorry, don't cry."
Jude's arms grab your waist and you try to avoid it, but you can't resist melting into his embrace either. "Please forgive me." He whispers as he strokes your hair. "I thought it was something silly, but now I can clearly see that you have been affected by it. Not knowing how to express myself properly is one of my biggest fucking flaws. I hate that about me."
Jude says the last sentence in a low way, he wanted to throw himself into the sea and disappear for a few minutes. He feels so ashamed for putting you through such a situation.
Jude's hands walk to your waist and pulls you back so that your eyes stick to his, he always liked to talk looking into your eyes. "Hurting your heart was the last thing I wanted in the world. Forgive me, my love."
"I know and understand that you didn't mean to, Jude. But, this lack of positioning hurts." You explain as you dry the trail of tears from your face. "It may be silly and insignificant to you, but it makes me insecure."
His eyes soften and you can even see a trail of tears forming on his edge. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just thought I was making the right choices, trying to avoid a fight or something, but clearly I wasn't. It hurt you and I promise that from now on I will review my attitudes."
His hands walk over to caress your back. "I value you so much, I really do, and I honestly don't know what my life would be without you. I know I let you down, and in the end, I feel like it hurt me more than it hurt you because I can't handle the idea that I hurt you. I love you too much.” He whispers. “I didn't mean to hurt you like that."
You hug Jude by the neck and give him a light kiss on his lips, you know that he didn't mean to hurt you and this conversation (not the fight) was even good for you to clarify some points and prevent more situations like this from happening again in the future.
Jude makes you feel complete.
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shaykappa · 1 year
Text
Favourite/Funniest Line's from Crooked Kingdom
"Let's go." "Me?" "No the idiot behind you."
"How is-" "Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I am stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids."
"Now why can't people be this easily trained?" Kaz murmured as he crouched to oblige the dog with a belly rub.
"Did you know I am next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg." "There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town."
"Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?" "So?" "Well, usually it's just half the city."
"Big, blond and blind. The Fjerdan way."
"If I live I'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles."
"Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?" "No honor?" "Rotten parenting skills?" "Receding hairline?"
"Isn't that how things are done around here? We all tell Kaz we are fine and the do something stupid?" "Are we that predictable?" "Yes."
"It seems everyone is forming alliances." "They're called friendships Kaz."
"You are very welcome Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the costumary way." "Waffles?" "Lots of them."
"I need to do this. I've never been to my mother's grave. I am not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye." "Trust me, you care more than she does."
"You are stupid about a lot of things Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I am going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue." "He' ll never believe it." "Then I 'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue."
"Come on, let's do steal all my dad's money. "Isn't it your money?" "Okay, let's go steal it back."
"I think you 'd flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention." "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice."
"Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now, will someone feed me before I am forced to cook one of you?" "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know how to cook."
"On a dare I ate a literal through full of waffles and nearly went back for seconds."
"Pick up the pace." "If I spill a single drop of this it will burn straight through the floor onto my father's dinner guests." "Take your time."
"I am Dunyasha, the White Blade, trained by the Sages of Ahmrat Jen, the greatest assassin of this age." "Doesn't ring a bell."
"Fate brought me here." "And does fate pay your wages?"
"My parents thought I would drown because I crawled into the sea as a baby, laughing." "Perhaps they were worried you would talk yourself to death."
"Kaz. You may not be glad we are alive, but we are glad you are alive."
"You are better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." "Let's not say things we don't mean, my love."
"Are you mad?" "I'd probably be happier if I was."
"You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met." "I'll take that as a compliment."
"My leg! My leg!" "I recommend a cane."
"What is wrong with him?" "Same thing that's always wrong with him. He's Kaz Brekker."
Jesper followed Wylan down the hall. "Hey." Wylan kept going.
"Jes, I 've thought about this-" "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"
Wylan ran his tongue over his lips and spat in his father's face.
He was pale, with tufty orange brows and a hunched posture that gave him the look of a giant shrimp.
He felt bad for the guy. Not bad enough to wake him up and untie him, but still.
"I 've been shot!" He had not been shot.
"How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?"
"Tell you what. When the day comes, mark it on your calendars. I can think of a lot of people who 'll want to throw a party.
"Wait. Is my tie straight?"
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hello-nichya-here · 5 months
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Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?
Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.
Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.
There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.
The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:
1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.
2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")
3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).
4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"
5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.
6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"
So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.
Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.
And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.
Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.
Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.
So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.
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l0v3tast3 · 1 year
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do you think we could get the 141 bois with a military!reader who had a guard/attack dog with them, and went out on missions with reader, and the dog got KIA’d, and reader is taking it harshly, because they grew attached to said dog?
My dog recently passed away and I kinda just.. need some 141 bois.
🥃-
✎ i'm so sorry to hear that honey :( losing an animal is a horrible pain and i hope you're doing okay!!
✎ tags : gender neutral!reader, angst but i tried to keep it vague, otherwise pretty much just platonic fluff, not proofread
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♡ to put it mildly, the 141 guys thought you were a bit weird when you first joined, along with your dog. you spent more time with the animal than you did with humans, training, doting, just generally being in the same space.
♡ eventually the team came to understand your bond together, and who doesn't love dogs? while it was always yours, it also kind of became the team's dog.
♡ so when price had to haul you over his shoulder while you screamed at him to let you go, to let you back in that ruined building, they all felt it. they felt it the entire way back to base, the absence of the waging tail and you cooing at it on the entire helicopter ride back.
♡ you try to pretend like you're doing okay for a couple of days afterward. brief smiles that didn't fit right on your sunken face, exchanging polite greetings that sounded so dull. they walk on eggshells, always unsure of what to say to help you.
♡ they wait for you to break, and when you finally do, they send kyle in first. they figure he has the best shot of conveying their empathy to you (he's just as awkward as the rest of them, he just volunteered himself to try to help you first because they were all just staring at each other when soap brought it up).
♡ he brings you a case of bottles of your favorite drink and snacks, dropping them on your desk before sitting next to you on your bed. he asks you faintly if you want to talk about it.
♡ he lets you get it out, lets you cry and rant and whatever you need in that moment while he sits with you. when your tears finally run dry and the weight in your chest doesn't feel as empty, kyle gives you a hug and rubs your back for a few moments.
♡ the other three men are waiting when he comes out, and kyle shrugs and says he thinks he helped. soap snorted and asked him "what's that mean?" and kyle explains briefly what happened.
♡ they manage to coax you out of your room the next day. ghost and price were somewhere else on the base, and kyle had taken over soap's attempt at cooking eggs (i sincerely believe soap can only cook well enough to keep himself alive while kyle is actually pretty good). they sit you down and make you eat. soap takes the credit for the eggs even though you obviously saw kyle finishing them, and it makes you laugh a bit.
♡ they drag you to sparring practice, despite your many, many protests. you find that that's where ghost and price have been. they put you up against ghost first, and you're convinced that they're trying to make you more depressed now.
♡ as soon as he's coming at you, you're in "soldier mode" again and just focus on trying not to land on your ass too hard when he throws you down. usually you're a good sport and always shake hands after the rounds, but frustration was bubbling up quick today with every time you got pinned. you found yourself putting more and more into it, until you were actually fighting, clawing, biting, doing whatever you could. ghost let you and he took it easily. it was exactly what he would have needed if he were in your position; he still didn't just let you win, though.
♡ soap doesn't really know how to help you in a big way, so he just makes sure the little things are taken care of. he helps you clean your weapons and makes sure kyle buys the right drinks for you when he sends him out even though kyle knows what to get. he sticks around you but doesn't make it seem like you're on suicide watch or anything, just that you don't have to be alone for too long. he makes sure you eat, and you always answer "yes" because you don't even want him to offer to cook for you.
♡ it takes a couple of months before you're almost back to your normal self. there's always something missing, and you still reach down to your side on instinct, but the pit in your stomach stops opening quite as wide. you learn how to remember the happy memories again.
♡ when you're ready and if you feel like it, price is the one that takes you to start looking for a new furry friend. you know everything there is to know about dogs, and he knows you know it all, but you still get lectured about what to look for and what to avoid and not to get too close in case they try to bite. basically, he just becomes your father.
♡ "not that one, 's lookin' at me funny," he'll say once you start looking at them. "that one won't even make it through the heli ride!" basically, he thinks none of the dogs here are good enough for you, even though they're all wonderful in their own ways. he almost walks away when you kneel down and start giving scratches to a pomeranian that hadn't stopped yipping since you'd walked in.
♡ while they may all be emotionally-stunted men, they know what loss is like. they'll be there for you in the ways that matter.
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honeybubblegumpink · 6 months
Text
Brother best friend | Gojo satoru
Genre : fluff , short ,
Reader who is suguru twin sister, who can't use Jujutsu but can still see curses, goes to a regular high.
An: got this idea when I was walk home from school. I bag was so fucking heavy it was almost 7kgs 😭
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" suguru ~ where are you going?" The teenage boy with the sunglasses ask his best friend
" I'm picking up my sister from school "
" can I come along? " his face brighten having the idea seeing you again even though he just saw you yesterday.
Since they had nothing to do today because yaga-sensei was in a meeting with the the higher ups and other teachers, why not pick you up from school?
Every since you and Suguru came here in Tokyo you guys debate whether or not to rent a apartment . Since you go to a regular high school and Suguru to Jujutsu tech.
After a few months you decided to live with your brother in Jujutsu tech , because you barley go back to the apartment anyways and you guys can save up more money , even though you can't use cursed energy you can also do some side training with your brother and his friends
" where are you two going " shoko asked the duo
" we're off to pick up y/n from school " gojo answer with a beaming smile
" mind buying some refreshment on your way back? It's hot out here " shoko complained about the Suns heat
" sure "
" cya later , come on Suguru let's go "
" wait up, no need to rush we have plenty of time "
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" look at those two guys over the at the gate! "
" wow they are so hot ! "
" why are they there tho? "
" look at their uniform, I haven't seen them around here"
" maybe they're fro. Those private schoolers "
You hear the crowd of girls say as you made your wat time the gate .
You sigh " why is it so damn hot today " you wipe the droplets of sweat of your face. Carrying your heavy bag you try to make your way out of the school. But the crowd of girls won't let you.
" excuse me coming through " you squeeze your way into the crowd but no avail.
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" Suguru do you know which class y/n is?" Gojo looked at his best friends ignoring the girls behind them
" we are not allowed to enter satoru. Those are the rules of the school. No outsiders of other school are allowed " Suguru said looking at his best friend who lean back against the gate wall.
" what'a stupid rule. Honestl-"
" uhm hey! " their conversations where interrupted by two girls they both looked at her
" uhm we where wondering, if we could have both of your numbers " the girsl ask sheepishly
" sorry but I'm not interested " Suguru answered the girls then looked at gojo who still haven't answered yet
" welllll let me think " he taps his chin " hm I would like to give you my number....butttt I already have someone in my heart " the girls heart shattered and walked away feeling rejected.
" you could have straight up told them no " Suguru said to his friend
" what's the fun in that? "
" shattering a girls heart isn't fun satoru." Suguru said in a serious expression
" I'm sorry " satoru pouted earning pat on the back from Suguru
" excuse me , coming through " satoru ears purked up , hearing your voice from the crowd of of girls
" whoever it is must be totally super hottie, getting so many girls attention- "
" y/n ! " you turn around to see your brother and his best friend waving at you.
" oh I see why...." You deadpaned , so they where the who cause all the girls attention you thought.
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" Suguru ~ " you wined calling out your brother which he just stopped walk and looked over at his shoulder
"Can you summon that flying stingray curse thingy, my bags heavy and I don't think can walk any further in this heat " you complained
" sorry y/n there's to many people " by people he ment the girls at your school, that's has been following the three of you.
" jeez can't they leave? " gojo said annoyed
" but my bag~" you wined slowly falling down dramatically until your on all fours
" stop acting like child will you y/n" your brother sigh help you get up by grabbing your school bag.
" come on hope on I'll carry you " gojo kneeled down
" really! Your the best! " you happily accept gojo giving you a piggy back ride.
" up we go." He lifted you , your arm around his neck as you sigh of relief
" what do you have in your bag anyways ? Stones ? "
" that damm professor said we had to bring those three big ass heavy books today and the audacity of him not showing up! "
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" is she asleep? "
" yeah "
" I can feel her drool seeping through my uniform " gojo said still carrying you . They stayed silent for a while
" Suguru "
" hm ?"
" you know I like y/n right? " he turn to his friend
" like an open book."
It's no secret that gojo satoru have a crush on you. Suguru caught on the momment you step on Jujutsu high. It's was love at first sight gojo thought
" what you said earlier. About ' shattering a girls heart isn't fun ' I won't let it happen to y/n " satoru said seriously, turning to look at his best friend.
" I know, that's why I didn't stop you. If it was some other dude I would have break his bones already " that makes satoru chuckle a little
" watcha laughing about? " they both heard your sleepy voice
" nothing " they both said in sink , making you pout thinking you missed a good joke or something important.
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woominutes · 3 months
Text
ko kyungjun as a boyfriend
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he is THE hates everyone but you bf
bad boy with a soft spot for you kinda trope
just replace bad boy with bully
he doesn't go out of his way for anyone except you
princess treatment? you got it.
he'd make jinha and seungbin do the work when they are around lol
his love languages are;
acts of service
holding doors for you, buying you snacks, walking you home, helping you the week before and during your period. the things he does for you can erase any doubts that may arise in your head about his feelings for you.
he might hold back sometimes to not appear as a simp and maintain his reputation as the tough bully though.
physical touch
always has his hands on you in a way, mostly around the waist or shoulders. it is a sign of affection but also ownership as he wants to make your relationship known to other boys so they don't even dare to make a move.
also having you on his lap, he loves that. especially during recess at school, you can be found sitting on him while he zones out or talks with jinha and seungbin.
and quality time
asking you to hang out after school, inviting you to his place to chill, tagging along when you have errands to run if he is in the mood for it.
this guy literally walks away from people and situations when he doesn't care to be bothered so spending his time on/with someone definitely means something.
now about gift giving
i don't think he'd put a lot of thought into gifts. on specific occasions like anniversaries or trying to impress you, yes, but nothing too fancy otherwise.
however, you'd get little things; like a flower from a random garden he passed by from.
in my eyes, he's a casual sharer in a relationship
what is his is yours, his basketball sneakers being the only exception. food, clothes, his bed, his heart, everything.
you like his jacket? you'll share it back and forth, one week his and two weeks yours. you like his hoodie? take it. you like his shirt? wear it (but bring it back after a month and borrow another). you like his earrings? you can wear the right one and he'll wear the left one.
words of affirmation is not something he is good at
it's hard for him to express himself. he can throw a few playful sweet words here and there but rarely gets serious. he has his moments, especially after intimate situations with intense feelings, but they're few.
rarely says "i love you", he shows it instead.
he'd be the one to secretly need words of affirmation despite denying it
not too much praise though, he'll get cocky
bro felt love for the first time and his world changed #canon
such a show-off, especially with basketball
"this is for you" *misses the shot*
once threw the ball in hyunho's face because you were looking at the poor boy for too long and kyungjun got jealous
cue nahee running to help hyunho with his bloody nose
he eliminates your worries when he can
(we all know how I'm talking about)
tending to his wounds whenever he gets injured
insecure hence extreme jealousy
someone looks at you for too long? glares at them. someone talks to you? either waves them off or mocks them when they leave. someone confesses to you? they get threats as a warning. someone touches you? disappeared from the face of earth.
i could actually see him wanting to kill other boys out of jealousy but he'll hold himself back by giving them a light beating instead.
"me? jealous? ha! I'm better than that asshole"
yeah yeah sure
bro is so aggressive
you'd most likely have to witness a lot of outbursts of anger
but he apologises after, usually
intended empty words or not, you'll witness his wrath again because that is his reaction to almost everything that inconveniences him
he's throwing things and punching walls
BUT NEVER EVER hits you
even if he unconsciously shoves you, he regrets it immediately
many, mostly minor, arguments because of misunderstandings and lack of communication
he is not very confrontational when it comes to a relationship, either because he doesn't want to appear vulnerable and clingy or he doesn't know how to express himself and figure out why he is feeling the way he does.
when his hidden feelings of insecurity and discomfort bubble up, it's hell for the both of you. screaming, crying, him acting like he doesn't care to protect himself.
and his impulsivity makes it harder to make up sometimes
he might say hurtful things out of anger that will keep you away from him for a while but he rarely actually means them, it's just his defense and illusion of security.
possessive and slightly controlling
he cares too much when he considers his relationship serious and it's not just him fooling around.
unfortunately, he'll use manipulation when he wants something badly or to convince you of something. if you call him out, he'll drop the act and most likely get annoyed.
he needs a lot of work when it comes to the negative aspects of his personality for a healthy relationship to exist
he is not too much of a bad guy, he just has issues
and needs therapy
passionate makeout sessions
those big palms and veiny hands know how to grip. he's the dominant one and he won't have it any other way, wanting to have power and control over the pace and movements.
high libido, that's all i'm apparently allowed to say :P
learns and remembers a lot about you
especially your habits and quirks
if you smoke too;
he'll share his cigarettes with you
and steal a couple of yours when he is out of his
if you hate smoking;
LIKE LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE AROUND SMOKERS
he'll make an effort to not smoke when you are present
brushes his teeth or eats a piece of gum before he kisses you if he meets you after smoking <3
can't have you thinking he is gross smh
if you're short;
he definitely teases you about your height
picks you up just for fun or carries you around like you weigh nothing
ties your shoelaces for you
playfully insulting each other and bantering all the time to show affection
you're the only one he actually listens to <3
you shove him or nudge him when he is being too mean to other people or crossing a line
still goes wild when you're not around
you are his lockscreen <3
not too much of a talkative texter
sort written replies but long voice messsages
oml that voice
sends you pics of himself all the time, expecting compliments and praise
shirtless mirror pics focusing on his abs? all yours. manspreading pictures? you got them. selfies in which he tries to appear tough but his cheeks and soft features make him look like the cutest boy you've ever seen? yep.
cares a lot about how you view him so he takes a lot of time to make sure he picks the right pics to send you.
let's not fool ourselves, he knows you love those muscles and he purposely puts them on display for you
cuddles with kyungjun are warm and tight, becoming one under a blanket
more of a motorcycle guy
buys you your own helmet <3
not one for fancy dates, maybe dinner here and there, but prefers casual hangouts
movie nights at his house, late night walks and rides, chilling at a convenience store after school.
just peaceful private moments.
pretends to not like cheesy couple things, such as matching outfits or pajamas, but they secretly warm his heart
he takes your gifts very seriously; wears them to please you or carries them around with him
get him a neck pillow
you have him wrapped around your finger no matter how much he denies it
jinha has gotten a good smack in the back of his head for voicing that fact multiple times
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© to @woominutes on tumblr; do not repost or steal
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AITA for giving a friend tickets to a concert that I originally bought for a different friend?
This kind of petty drama tbh but my friends are divided over this whole thing and I worry that the way I acted was wrong.
I (16) bought 4 tickets to a concert that I really wanted to see, intending to ask my friends to go with me for my birthday. Because I was the one who wanted to go, and I know none of my friends are super into this artist, I thought it was only fair that I bought the tickets. They were like £70 each and I spent some of the money I got as gifts to buy them.
I asked 1 friend who has kind of been my on and off best friend for the past 4 years, we'll call her E, to go with m. She asked if we could also invite someone she's friends with, who I don't know that well- let's call her O. I wasn't super happy with the idea but I really wanted E to come and I thought maybe it could be a good way to get to know O more. The asked a few of other friends if they wanted the last ticket but they were either busy or didn't know if they would be allowed (the concert was happening in another city) so the last ticket wasn't claimed for a while.
The week of the concert arrived and I ended up in hospital because I dislocated my knee. I was told I probably shouldn't go to a concert because I should be on rest for a few days. I was pretty upset but there wasn't really anything I could do about it. I let E know I couldn't go anymore and that I was just gonna post the tickets for sale online. I told her she could buy hers if she still wanted to go. She didn't reply so I had a feeling she was pissed about it. On the day of the concert, the tickets hadn't been bought. I was home from school all day but a few of my friends came by after to see how I was doing.
This is when I learned that E had told everyone that I had given her all four tickets and that she had told two guys from the year above that they could have my ticket and the spare one for free if they gave her and O a ride to the concert. I tried calling E but she didn't pick up or reply to texts. I'll admit I was kind of angry. The girls who came to see me after school said they would buy the tickets from me and go to the concert if the tickets were still available. So I sold them the tickets for £50 each (that was all the had on them at the time and I was fine with getting at least some of the money back versus giving them to E and some random people for free) and they went to the concert.
A few hours before the concert started, E showed up at my house and asked for the tickets. I told her I had sold them to some other friends and she kicked OFF. She said I had given her at least her and O's tickets as a gift and that I couldn't just take that back. She had the guy from the year above come up to my house and ask where the tickets were too, though he seemed confused about the whole thing and was pretty understanding when I said I had bought them for my birthday but got injured so I decided to sell them. Eventually my mum had to ask them to leave because E was just yelling at me, saying that I was a shitty friend, and I was pretty upset.
Things have been so tense in school since the concert. Some of my friends don't believe that I never promised E all of the tickets after I got injured, so they're really mad at me and the friends who went to the concert. The whole thing is really awkward and I'm starting to feel like maybe it was an asshole move on my part. I don't know. E basically hasn't spoken to me since. I knew she had made plans with the tickets so I guess it was bad of me to sell the tickets to those other friends. I just feel like she shouldn't have assumed I would give them all away to her for free? Especially when I told her ahead of time that she could buy the tickets, otherwise I was gonna try selling them. She never replied to let me know she wanted them. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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