#'....baby?' as his final words. amazing. 10 out of 10 no notes performance

[neoyuno]

it wasn't me | j.jh (M)

after a long show and an even longer tour, jaehyun finds himself at the last stop, los angeles. good thing he has someone very special to take care of him—in every single way. ; or, jaehyun stays over at your house after his last tour stop and a relaxing bath turns into a lot more.

Pairing | idol!jaehyun ♡ celebcrush!reader

Genre | Romance [established relationship], Comedy, Smut [ oral, bath/shower sex (kinda), switch dynamics, unprotected sex, praising (lots of it), breast worship (?), petname usage (kitten, princess, love, sweetheart), pwp, they are both just very horny people.]

Word count | 6.9K

Reading time | 35 minutes

Warnings/notes | afab reader, explicit descriptions of sex, slight usage of curse words. / reader is a famous producer/performer and jaehyun’s long time celebrity crush—and now girlfriend.

People cheering was heard all over the venue, leaving in crowds after the group had said their goodbyes, but you walked casually through the corridors of the building. Wandering amongst staff and relatives of the performers with the goal of finding your boyfriend.

Of course, you knew the building by memory, many of your best memories happened in those very own corridors. Now, you experienced being the one watching and enjoying a performance rather than being on stage. The passion and care your partner put into what he did never failed to amaze you. He worked hard and gave his all in everything he did.

With great performance, came great fatigue. You greeted the rest of the boys whose skin glistened with sweat and breath was quick and short, as you walked towards the last dressing room. A white sheet of paper read “Jaehyun” in black ink, the visual made you smile proudly. Knocking on the door softly, you pushed it open to be greeted by your boyfriend sitting back on a small couch.

His head was thrown back and his eyes closed. Even like this, he looked as ethereal as always. His pretty nose tinted a rosy hue matching the apples of his cheeks and his skin glistened with sweat. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought that he couldn’t tell it was you who had entered the room, but as soon as that sweet cherry blossom scent hit his nose, he knew it was his beloved.

“Hi, baby.” he greeted you without opening his eyes and exhaled. “Did you enjoy the performance?” he moved his arms briefly to pat his lap, motioning you to take place on his thighs.

You moved slowly, a few steps were enough to take you where he wanted you to be. You straddled his lap and as soon as your bottom touched his thighs, he pulled your torso towards him. Despite his sweaty state, you felt yourself melt into his embrace. He kept you close to his body, your face buried in the crook of his neck while his right hand circled your waist and his left one stroked your hair lovingly.

“You were amazing out there, baby.” you praised. Even though you had no vision of his face, you knew he was smiling, as he placed a soft kiss on the top of your hair afterward.

“Not as great as you,” he said and chuckled when you poked his ribs jokingly.

“Shut up. Today you performed, we should focus on you,” you said and you meant it.

He hummed in response and indulged himself in the comfortable silence of the room. Your breathing mixed with his that was slowly getting steady.

Your lips pressed faint kisses to his neck and jaw, comforting him and giving him your love.

“Do you wanna go home, now?” You asked and he hummed once more. “Maybe you can take a shower cause you kinda stink.”

He laughed wholeheartedly and a smile grew on your lips. “You are mean.” He finally opened his eyes to look down at you. “But I love you.” He confessed and kissed your lips.

After gathering his belongings, he walked out of the room and walked over to his manager to let him know where he was going.

“Remember, tomorrow off. Monday, 10 am at the Capitol Building. Don’t forget.” The man told your boyfriend and then turned to you. “He’s going to forget, please don’t let him miss this meeting.”

Your boyfriend whined at the words of the man, making you giggle. “Got it. Monday. 10 am. He will be there dressed and well-fed!”

“Alright, have fun.” He said and walked away, turning back for a second. “Safe fun.” He emphasized causing the man beside you to blush.

“Will do!” You answered and heard Jaehyun shush you in embarrassment. “We always have safe fun, don’t we, Jaehyunie?”

“Hmm,” you looked over at his sleepy face and felt bad for him.

“And for the love of God, don’t do anything that will leave him with a sore throat again cause he has recording sessions this week.” The man before you said in a stressed voice. “Although they are with you so, your problem anyway.” You laughed at the last part.

“I can’t promise that, but I will try.” You said innocently causing the man to roll his eyes and sigh playfully before leaving you to turn to Jaehyun. “Let’s get you home so you can rest, hun.” You grabbed a hold of his bag and he let you, following behind you to your car where he reclined his seat as low as it could go as soon as he buckled his seatbelt.

Soft tunes played on the radio and the sound of LA traffic was muted by the glass windows of your car. Looking over to the boy beside you, you noticed he had fallen into a deep slumber, his position far too uncomfortable for any person. Soft snores fell from his parted lips and you swore your heart skipped a beat at how the traffic lights reflected on his skin, making his features look beautiful.

The venue was not far away from home, the 30-minute ride felt quick, the sound of the sweet melody of his cute snores was almost like white noise to you—soothing.

“Baby, we’re home.” you shook his sleeping figure and he opened his eyes slowly.

“So fast?” he asked drowsily and stretched a bit before getting off the car and into the warmth of your house.

You walked into the kitchen, the smell of homemade food floating around the air. Turning the stove knobs, you prepared to heat up the meal that you had cooked for your boyfriend. You felt his arms circle your waist and his head dropped to the crook of your neck, his lips pressing to your skin subsequently.

“You’re too good to me.” he whispered, teeth sinking on your skin softly, making you hum.

“It’s what you deserve.” you meant it, Jaehyun was an amazing boyfriend.

He was always checking up on you even when the distance of a thousand miles separated you. Good morning texts, good night texts, random love confessions, random face-times at some ungodly hours of the night. He was always available for you, whether it was to sing you to sleep or to hold you in his arms as tears flowed down your cheeks.

With his busy schedule and yours, moments like this—having him against you, skin touching skin, lips on lips, breaths mixing together—were nearly impossible to have often. His nose caressed your neck as he exhaled once more. His strong hands laid on your torso, grabbing unto you as if you were going to disappear in no time.

“I love you.” he whispered.

“And I love you.” you giggled and freed yourself from his grip eventually, to serve him his dinner. “I hope you like dinner, made your favorite dish.”

He was now seated on the kitchenette stool and turned to you, pulling you in. His head rested on your chest and his arms returned to circle your waist, tightly this time. “What has gotten into you, you are so clingy tonight.” your fingers raked through his dark brown locks.

“I just missed you.” he confessed, making your heart swell.

“You are finally done with the tour… just one more schedule and then we can have a whole month for ourselves before I start mine.” as you kissed his forehead followed by a kiss on each of his dimples, his arms let go of you. “Now, eat up. I will run you a warm bath.”

As you walked away you could hear him hum in contentment as he devoured his food, a smile being brought up to your face.

The warm water ran through the faucet, filling the bathtub little by little. Your finger fiddled with the bottles that hid behind the doors of the small closet inside the bathroom, picking the right oils and bath bubbles for a relaxing effect.

The water smelled like tonka bean and lavender, Jaehyun’s favorite. Holographic bubbles soon covered the surface serving as a cue for you to turn the running water off. You exited the bathroom, running into the tall man in the hallway that led to your room.

“I will go get you some clean clothes, you can jump in.” you smiled and walked away.

Just as you pushed the door of the bathroom open, he was wiping his mouth with a towel, after brushing his teeth. He smiled at you cutely and you were about to retreat yourself from the room when he pulled you by the wrist.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I thought I could do some of your laundry, so you’d have clean clothes…” you said, knowing well that he barely had time to do so and you were free for most of the week. So, it didn’t hurt to help him out a bit.

“Oh, I just-” he hesitated. “You don’t have to.”

“I really don’t mind, love.” you smiled and he reciprocated the action. “And you what?”

“Nothing.” he said quickly, the tips of his ears turning a slight shade of crimson before he sighed and spoke again. “Can you, can you join me?”

His request caught you by surprise. Yes, he had seen you naked before, too many times to count with your fingers, but after being apart from each other for so long, you couldn’t help but feel shy. You guess he caught a glimpse of your wide eyes as he stuttered his next response.

“Not like that, I just-” he stuttered.

“It’s okay, get in there, I’ll help you wash up.” you said sweetly. “Let me help you.” you offered as he started to undress.

His back was facing you as you helped him slide his button-up shirt from his shoulders, his strong back muscles catching your attention. Not being able to help yourself, you pressed a soft kiss to the middle of his back, the skin of his arms rising with goosebumps at the feeling of your soft lips against his warm skin.

Jaehyun smiled and brought one of your hands up to his face, kissing the back of it before dropping it back to your sides. His hands moved to the front of his jeans, working on disregarding his belt before unbuttoning his pants. You blushed at the sight of the back of his body, the only part of skin covered being his soft and small bottom.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, remembering to bring him warm towels and your speaker to play some nice relaxing music. “I’ll go bring some towels, get into the tub before the water runs cold.” And with that, you left the bathroom.

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair, noticing the growing bulge inside his already tight boxers. The way your fingertips felt on his skin was just enough to have his mind going wild—but what set him off was the soft kiss you pressed on his back.

He removed his underwear completely and submerged into the warm lavender water. Throwing his head back against the edge of the tub, he groaned at the feeling of the soothing bath, right when you entered back into the room.

You placed the folded towels on the sink’s counter as well as a clean nightgown and panties for you, then turned on the speaker to play your favorite relaxing playlist, making the man in the tub smile immediately. You grabbed a small stool from under the sink and placed it behind the tub, by where his head was, and sat down with a small bowl in one hand and his fave eucalyptus shampoo in the other.

His head was still laying back on the edge, his face facing directly upwards giving you space to appreciate his features. His eyes were closed, as they were a few minutes ago on the couch of his backstage room, and his expression was relaxed. You could appreciate the way his cheeks were a deep shade of pink, probably due to the hectic night he had, and how his long eyelashes rested beautifully against his skin. His cute nose looked inviting as you pressed a small kiss to the tip, his dimples showing up as he smiled widely.

“How was your day?” You asked and he hummed as you took a bit of the warm water in the bowl to soak up his hair.

“Tiring,” he answered softly. “but my beautiful girlfriend is helping me relax.” He said and you chuckled at his flirting.

“Hmm, is she?” You ran your finger through his brown locks and you poured more water on his head carefully to not splash it on his eyes.

“Mhm, she is the best and I love her very much.” he hummed again.

You smiled at his statement and moved to open the shampoo bottle, pouring a bit of the liquid on your hands before rubbing them together and lathering his hair.

“That feels so good…” he whispered when your fingers started massaging his scalp as you tried washing his hair softly. Your boyfriend’s mouth fell agape and small approving groans left his lips when you massaged any spot that was aching.

What he didn’t know is that his sounds were tempting you to do something more than just helping him wash up and get ready for bed. Shaking your thoughts, you finished massaging his scalp and moved to pour water on his head once more to rid of the shampoo.

“Seat up, let me lather your back.” You said and he obliged. Your fingers moved to unclasp the necklace he had around his neck before placing it on the counter next to his pj’s.

His face rested on his knees after he brought them up to surround them with his arms. The sound of the water rolling on his back relaxed him to the point where he was very close to falling asleep until he felt your fingers work on the knots in his shoulders. A deep moan left his lips almost automatically.

“You like that?” You whispered, your throat suddenly dry.

“Yeah,” he sighed and threw his head back a little as you get kneading his muscles. “Mmm, ____…” he moaned again, but this time your name leaving his lips made you blush and press your legs together.

It was insane how quickly this man could soak your panties. Everything about him was sensual but adorable at the same time. He was just so dreamy that your heart raced every time you woke up next to him and saw his peaceful face resting next to you.

“Love?” You heard him ask and you diverted your attention to him by humming. “Please join me.” He said in a slight begging tone.

You nodded, even though he could not see you, and started removing your clothes. His eyes noticed your shirt and pants drop on the floor next to the tub, your bra and panties quickly following. His eyes were glued to your body as soon as you came into his sight, your hands covered yourself a bit as you slowly sunk into the warm water facing him.

“The water is still warm!” You gasped in surprise. He smiled at you with his head slightly slanted and his cheeks blushed. Having spent so much time apart had both of you feeling quite bashful about being this exposed in front of each other.

“You are so cute,” He said and smiled wider, his eyes becoming half crescents and his cute whiskers on display.

Jaehyun moved forward and you did too, your chest pressing against your knees as he was. His nose brushed against yours and his eyes moved to stare at your lips (and part of your cleavage that was not covered in soapy bubbles). “and so so hot.” He whispered, his smile having morphed into a smirk.

“Am I?” You asked cheekily, your volume matching his.

His hand came up from under the water and he placed his index finger in the center of your collarbones, his soft touch slowly moving down to the valley of your breasts and under the water again. “So fucking pretty.” His hand slightly brushed your hips and you sat back straight.

“Lay back.” You said and he immediately obliged. Pushing yourself up on the edge of the tub, you managed to get on your knees, much to Jaehyun’s lack of luck, the glittery bubbles still covered the majority of your chest. You moved forwards on your knees, a bit of the water flowing out of the tub and splashing the tiles.

His eyes stared at you as you moved to straddle his lap, his hardening boner flinching almost instantly, his tip softly touching your entrance.

“So pretty…” he whispered again and latched his lips on your collarbones, gently pressing kisses from one side to the other. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You replied, skin shivering when you felt his sharp canines press on your neck.

“What did you miss about me?” He asked smugly. “Did you miss my lips?” You hummed and he smiled against your skin. Jaehyun trailed his lips up to your cheek before whispering in your ear. “I missed yours around my-“

“You’re getting real bold, Jeong Jaehyun.” You said after putting your hand to his mouth. “You really think you can switch things around?”

“Let me show you a good time, love.” He said and held your hand, dipping your index and middle fingers into his warm mouth. He looked straight into your eyes as he swirled his tongue around them, sucking them while hollowing his cheeks after and releasing them with a smirk on his face at the sight of your expression.

“Fuck,” you mumbled. “Now I’m not sure if I want to fuck you or if I want you to fuck me…”

“We could always do both, but I’m leaning towards the latter for now. You can fuck me all you want the next rounds.”

“You missed me that much that you want to go all night long?” You teased and he smirked leaning to bite your neck again.

“You have no idea how much I dreamt about you around me, baby. I’ve been wanting nothing more than you bouncing on my lap and hearing those pretty sounds you make.” His tongue lapped at the bite he has made.

“Jaehyun…” you gasped softly as he grabbed you by the hips and placed you a little higher, your breasts finally uncovered.

“Tell me, baby.” He said before his lips trailed down to when his finger did a few minutes ago. He looked up to see your eyes staring intensely at him, waiting for his next move.

Jaehyun smirked before licking a strip up your chest before engulfing your right nipple in his mouth. You gasped at the sudden contact, his mouth sloppily sucked on your bud while making sounds of contentment.

“Ah, I’ve missed your mouth so much.” You sighed and looked back down. Your boyfriend’s eyes were closed as he devoured your breasts, while sucked on one his rough hand kneaded the other. He used his index finger to tease your hard nipple and his mouth detached from your other, the skin around his mouth matched yours, glistening with his saliva. He groaned and switched his tongue to the bud that was being teased by his finger, instead of sucking on it like he did to the other, he poked his tongue and teased the bud with the tip of it.

His mouth mimicked that of how he kissed you on the skin of your chest. His hand slowly moved up from your breast to your face, his fingers taking advantage of your open mouth to dip inside. Jaehyun placed his index and middle fingers on your tongue, your mouth quickly closing around them and sucking on them. He groaned against your skin at the feeling of your tongue swirling around his fingers, wishing it was swirling around a lower area of his body.

Looking up to see your face, he groaned loudly once more, the sinful scene before him causing his hard-on to jerk up and hit your entrance again.

“I want to fuck you so bad, baby.” He whispered near your ear before softly biting your earlobe.

“What’s stopping you?” He didn’t even wait another second after you were done speaking before he crashed his lips with yours. His hands cupped your face as his lips feverishly kissed your own. Your hands came up to set on his strong chest, levering yourself as you felt dizzy from the touch of his plump lips.

“You are so pretty.” He groaned against your lips. “Please say you’re mine.”

“I’m all yours, baby. Only yours.” You gasped when he lifted your hips and felt something slide over your wet lips.

“I’m all yours, too, baby.” He groaned again. “Fuck, that feels good.” He said when your lips attacked his neck, leaving faint bite marks on his sweet spots.

“What are you waiting for?” You asked again, as he kept teasing your entrance but never dipping in.

“I’m scared I’ll cum too fast. It’s been so long and you are just so hot, I can’t hold it in.” You let out an airy giggle before replacing the hand holding his cock with your own. He shut his eyes and goosebumps raised on his skin at the feeling of your soft hand.

“I don’t care if you cum quickly, we have all night. But I really really want you inside me. Now.” You kissed his lips and lined him up with your entrance.

“Holy fuck…” he gasped as you slid down his length, your warmth engulfing him in the most delicious way possible. His head was thrown back and his chest rose at a quick pace. “It feels so good, baby.” He whined.

“You fill me up so well, love.” You moaned and leaned in to kiss his neck, your hips not stopping.

The water splashing against your skin as you moved mixed with the soft sound of the music and the soft moans coming from your boyfriend’s lips. Kissing his soft milky skin was one of your favorite things to do, it felt so soft against your lips that you swore it would melt at any moment. You felt his hands make their way to your ass, cupping your cheeks and softly squeezing.

“So perfect.” He groaned deeply as he lifted his head to kiss your lips. You tried pushing your tongue into his mouth to play with his, but when you did, his lips caught it, sucking it softly. The feeling and sight of Jaehyun sucking your tongue were almost enough to throw you over the edge. He hummed in contentment before letting it go and quickly sliding his tongue over your lips.

“Fuck you.” You moaned and he chuckled.

“Okay.” He replied smiling, his lips coming up to kiss yours and you took the opportunity to return the favor.

The groan that resonated in his throat as you engulfed his tongue in your mouth was the sexiest thing ever. Your mouth quickly let go of his when he thrust up particularly harshly, causing a loud whine to leave your lips.

“I need to hear you, baby. Please, be loud for me.” Even though it was hard not to be loud when he fucked you, he always wanted more. “Ah fuck- you’re so wet for me, kitten.” Oh, how had you missed hearing that nickname.

“Jaehyun-“ you whined and he smirked, knowing exactly what that nickname arose in you.

“Yes, kitten? You want me to fuck you good?” He murmured and kissed your jaw. “It’s been a while since I fucked you dumb, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, it has…” you moan and tried sneaking your hand to circle at your clit but his strong hands grabbed your wrists, keeping your hands in front of your chest. “Baby, I need more.”

“You do? Does my kitten need me to fuck her harder?” The way words rolled out of his tongue had you going crazy. His sexy groans and the way his cock felt inside you were also driving you insane. You whined as your hips kept moving, trying hard to relieve the burning pit in your belly. “Look at you, so pretty bouncing on my cock.”

He stared at your face, mouth agape and eyes shut. He loved looking at your fucked state, he loved hearing his name fall out of your lips like a mantra.

“I want to fuck you harder, but I need to see your pretty face, kitten.” He let go of your wrists and cupped your face. “Do you want to move to the bedroom?” He kissed your lips before biting the bottom one softly.

“I thought you were tired.” You teased and he chuckled.

“I always have the energy to make you feel good, baby.”

“Do you? What if we move it to the bedroom but you let me play with you for a while?” Smiling you leaned forward to kiss his neck, feeling the vibrations of a groan on your lips.

“I already told you we can do that later, but I really need to fuck you, baby.” One of his hands on your face moved to play with your clit, making you whimper. “Don’t you want me to fuck you hard? Hmm?”

“Yes…” you gasped when he applied more pressure to your bundle. “Please.”

Jaehyun smiled against your lips and removed his hands from your body, a groan leaving your lips at the sudden lack of touch. The tall man helped you get up and turned the shower head above the tub on, getting rid of the soap remaining on your bodies before turning it back off and carrying you. His hands grabbed at your ass and your hands latched around his neck as he moved to the bedroom. His plump lips attacked your own in the most delicious way possible.

He dropped you on the mattress, your wet bodies dampening the sheets without care. His lips are quickly attached to your skin, starting from your neck and down your chest. The hotness of his breath sent shivers up your spine, the exposed skin of your chest flushing and buds hardening.

“So soft,” he breathed out as his hands engulfed your thighs. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, kitten. Nobody will make you feel this good.”

“Only you.”

“I will ruin you, baby.” He tapped his tip on your clit before gliding it over your folds. “You’re so wet, love.”

“Wait, can I suck you off first?” You asked softly, giving him the cutest begging eyes, or at least that’s how he saw them.

“But baby, I want to feel your pretty pussy.” He said caressing your face.

“Pleaseeee,” you whined and batted your eyelashes. “Pretty please? I want to taste you.”

He couldn’t resist such a pretty voice asking for such a dirty thing. Plus, it’s not like he wouldn’t get to fuck you after.

“Fine…” he feigned annoyance as he rolled his eyes with a smile. “If you insist…”

“Oh, I do.” You said and pushed him off to stand up then push him onto the bed. You stood in front of him, parading your pretty and wet tits in front of his face.

“Such a pretty girl…” he said before pressing kisses around the skin of the valley of your breasts.

Your hands reach to cup his face, pulling his head slightly to kiss him sloppily. His own circle your waist and bring you close to him, right before snaking one hand to cup your ass and give it a squeeze. His warm tongue felt so nice against yours that you completely forgot what it was that you had wanted to do—until a harsh slap to your ass made you gasp and look at him.

“You are so perfect.” He groaned and squeezed both cheeks again.

Kneeling in front of him, you rested your face on his thigh, face centimeters away from his dick.

“Such a pretty cock…” your fingertips trailed up his shaft and your boyfriend tensed up. “I wonder if it still fits in my mouth.”

“We’ll make it fit, kitten.” He strained out when your lips kissed the tip of his cock.

“Mmm, tasty.” a soft satisfied moan resonated from your throat after your tongue lapped at the tip.

The man before you intently stared through low lids and long lashes as your tongue poked out just above his head waiting for a drop of saliva to touch his skin. He let a loud groan once it did, your mouth engulfing his length but not going all the way down just yet.

He loved seeing you struggle to make it fit, teeth lightly grazing the skin of his shaft—but who doesn’t like a little pain. Squirming on the floor, you clenched around nothing as you tried going further down, cute little moans leaving your throat as you stared up at him with doe eyes, mouth full of his sex.

As he stared down at you he couldn’t believe the scene before him, never in his 24 years of life did he ever think he’d actually see his many wet dreams about you come true. Neither did he think you’d love him as much as you did—and he loved you too.

You felt drool starting to form on the side of your mouth as his tip reached the back of your throat.

“F-fuck…” he breathed out and you continued to move your head up and down his veiny shaft.

Your left hand stroked the skin you couldn’t fit and your right went down to play with your own wetness.

“Mmm, baby… just like that.” He moaned and threw his head back. “Such a good girl…”

As you came up for air, his hands cupped your face to kiss you again.

“Come on, princess. I need to feel you…” he said between kisses and lifted you off the ground, ignoring your protests.

He kissed your belly before standing up and pushing you down the mattress.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much, baby.” You felt his hands in your hips as he moved you up the mattress and positioned himself close to your heat. “Look how pretty you look, so pretty for me…” he kissed your inner thighs before hovering over your center, his warm breath hitting your sensitive spot.

His tongue poked out to lick a stripe up your folds, humming at the accumulated wetness after sucking him off. His mouth soon found your clit to suck it in, the harsh feeling making your bach arch.

“Oh fuck!” You moaned and gripped at his wet hair. “Feels so good!”

“Hmm, does it baby?” He asked before kitty licking your clit, making you scream. He left your center just to spit at it and went back to devour it.

Your pants got louder once you felt 2 fingers enter your heat. They moved at the slowest pace possible, the knuckles folding up every time they were completely inside. The feeling of his fingertips curling up felt absolutely amazing, the added sucking on your clit and the sound if his moan were an overwhelming combination.

“Wanna cum, kitten? Do you want me to make you cum, sweetheart?” He mocked when he looked up at you, his fingers still pumping in and out of you.

“Yes!” You said and reached to pull his head in but he refused, making you whine.

“Yes what, baby?” He cooed. “You can’t expect me to just do something like that…” and his fingers stopped moving.

“Please! Please, make me cum, baby… I need it…” you begged.

“Good girl.” Dipping his head back down with a smirk plastered on his face, he sucked harshly at your sensitive bud and picked up the pace of his fingers.

Your moans and pants became strained and loud, your belly visibly tensing and breathing hitching—letting him know you were very close to releasing all over his fingers. This is why he removed them and replaced them with his tongue, his thumb now circling your clit at s fast pace.

“Holy shit, baby!” Your legs jerked in, almost crushing his head but he just loved it. He loved knowing you were enjoying his mouth—and so he lapped all of your juices until you were pushing him off your with your feet.

He chuckled deeply before standing up and hovering over you, his hand quickly caressing your cheek softly. He couldn’t help but stare at your flushed face and parted lips still heaving from your orgasm.

“Such a pretty baby…” he kissed your nose. “Always so good.” He kissed your forehead. “I am so in love with you.” he kissed your lips.

“I’ve missed you so much, baby.” You said and he left your lips, his warm breath hit your top lip as he tried to adjust himself. “I missed your lips and your kisses, and your hands, and your big- ah!”

You grabbed unto his biceps when he entered you. His lips pecked yours swiftly as he began to pick up his pace.

“I missed you more, kitten. I’ve missed you so much, the whole of you.” He groaned. “Fuck, you feel so nice around me. I swear you were made for me and me only.”

“Was I?” You asked and swallowed a moan.

“Or maybe I was made for you. Maybe I was made to devour you and make you feel just right, kitten.” His lips pressed softly on your neck. “Do you like that, love?”

His hips moved at an insane speed, his tip hitting your g-spot with every single thrust. You could feel the vibrations of his grunts and moans on your neck—his head still hidden between the crevice of your jaw and shoulder.

Your nails gripped on his back, holding him close as if he were to disappear if you didn’t. Your mind was blank, every single though replaced by the man on top of you. All you could think about was how hot his moans were and how delicious his cock felt inside of you.

“Let me hear you, princess.” He groaned and bit your neck with enough force to leave a faint mark. “Be loud for me, baby, let me know how good I’m making you feel.” He smirked at the soft moan that escaped your lips. “Do you like that, kitten?” He cooed and kissed your cheek softly before looking up to see your eyebrows knitted up and bottom lip between teeth.

“Ah! Jaehyun!” A particularly sharp thrust made you scream out, a string of whimpers and incoherences following right after.

“Such a pretty girl, look at you. I could stare at your beautiful face forever.” He said and sweetly kissed the tip of your nose, but you know the intentions behind his words were far from sweet.

“Baby, I’m cl-close…”

“I know, baby.” Your boyfriend exhaled roughly and lowered his head to latch his mouth to your naked breasts. His mouth sucked on your sensitive buds as satisfied sounds left his throat.

“Oh, baby! Keep sucking like that, it feels so fucking good!” The knot in your belly felt like it was going to come undone at any second, the warm and fiery feeling traveling up your body until your ears started ringing and your mouth couldn’t stop mumbling your lover's name and telling him how good he was. “I can’t hold it, baby, I’m gonna cum!” You cried out and he drilled his hips unto yours with much more force.

His lips left your nipple with a loud pop, the skin of your areola red from all the friction. He rapidly played with his tongue on your swollen nipple before moving to the other and biting before sucking it in. His hand fleeing to pinch and twist your red nub.

“Cum for me, princess.” He groaned and moved his hand on your nipple to rub circles on your clit. The friction pushed you over the edge as you came undone again with a loud scream.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-“ his mouth hung open, a loud moan falling out, when he felt your walls squeeze his shaft, the suction making it harder for him to last any longer. “Holy shit, baby. I’m not gonna last any longer, sweetheart.”

His face flew back to your shoulder blade, sharp canines biting down on the skin.

“Cum inside me, baby. Fill me up and fuck your dripping cum into me.” Your soft voice saying such dirty things was enough to make him cum. You inhale sharply at the feeling of his teeth biting even harder while his throat produced such loud and raspy groans. His warm cum filled you up and just like you asked, once he left your hole he admired your creamy juices mixed together. As they oozed out of you, he pushed two fingers, scooping his cum up and fucking it back inside.

“You look so hot, love.” He said before smirking and bringing his fingers up to your face, your mouth instantly hanging open to clean his cum off his fingers as he groaned.

“And you said you wouldn’t last…” you giggled once his body gave back into your embrace. You felt his body shake as he silently laughed with you.

“Believe me, I wanted to cum the second I entered you.”

“We should go back to the shower. You left me all sticky.” You said as you felt his cum drying out on your thighs as well as the patches of saliva all over your skin. “And look what you did! My nipples are all swollen!” You whined playfully.

“Hey, you asked for both things. I was just following instructions.” He said, his dimples showing as he made a cute face towards you. “Plus, how could I resist such pretty boobies? I’ve been wanting to put them in my mouth since we came home.”

“Ah, such a baby…”

“Of course, if you could feel them in your mouth, you’d get it… just magical. Imagine just how pretty they’d look all swollen and full of milk? I don’t think I’d be able to share with /our/ baby.”

“Our baby?” You teased.

“Well, yeah… if you want of course. I would love to have kids with you. If I love you this much, I can only imagine how great it would be to have mini versions of you running around.” You chuckled and caressed his hair, his words making your heart swell. “Not right now, of course, but soon? Plus, making kids is just too fun.” That last part made you laugh out loud, his smile growing big at the sound.

“I love you.” You whispered after some minutes of comforting silence. You heard Jaehyun sigh lovingly before feeling his lips press on your cheek.

“I love you more, princess.” His voice rasped out and his eyes went wide. “Oh no… my voice!”

“Hah! And you can’t blame me, I didn’t do anything.” You chuckled at his panicked face. He was moaning too loud because of his own doings, you hadn’t even top him.

“Well, I am still blaming you.” He smiled cheekily and kissed your neck softly.

“If you are going to blame me, then I might as well give you a reason to.” You said, pushing him off and climbing on top of him.

You walked hand in hand into the building, the young girl at the front desk greeting you.

“Hey _____! We have missed you so much!” She squealed and you reached to hug her. “How’s your pre-tour vacation going?”

“Pretty good! I have rested a lot, so that’s great.” You smiled and she did too.

“You work too hard!” She mentioned and you laughed. “And hello to you too, Jaehyun!”

Your boyfriend smiled and waved, not wanting her to hear his fucked up voice. She slanted her head and looked at you.

“Vocal rest. We are recording today after the meeting.” You said and she nodded before sending you both off to the meeting room.

“Would you look at that… Mr. Jeong is actually on time!” His manager joked and greeted you both. “Thanks for taking care of him, ____” he smiled.

“Actually, about that…” you scratched your neck and the boys sitting at the table laughed out loud.

“Hello, Hyung.” Jaehyun rasped out and sent him an apologetic smile making the man sigh in despair.

“One thing. I asked you for one single thing. When will y’all two learn to keep it in your pants, huh?“ he scolded both of you and the men laughed even louder.

“It was not my fault!” Jaehyun croaked out.

“Hey! You asked for it!” You retorted.

“I did not!” Your boyfriend bickered back.

“You did it all! I didn’t even do anything, though!” you said. “If anything, when I did I held back.” You whispered the last part but it was enough for some of the guys to hear, causing johnny to whistle.

“I need a vacation…” the oldest man in the room said before leaving the room.

NEOYUNO 2022

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun #nct #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct 127 #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun au #NEOYUNO #smut

[solarwonux]

Babymoon || Jeon Jungkook

Pairing: dad!jungkook x f!reader 

Genre: smut, fluff 

W.C 4.8k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: not edited, insecurities, mentions of stretch marks, slight dom!jungkook, jungkook has nipple piercings (i will never let ya’ll forget), slight choking kink, mirror sex, unprotected sex, daddy kink (but only if you squint like really hard, jungkook thinks a lot again (I’ll probably edit it, once it goes up lol)

Synopsis: Jungkook decides to take you on a babymoon, hoping the time away will help ease your newfound insecurities. 

Read More of dad!JK here: 1 || 2 

Masterlist

note: Sorry this is up so late lol. But I hope you like this one, it was just a random idea I had last night so I wrote it lol. Also I love this family sm and low key I’m so tempted to write a whole bts as dad’s series or something, anyway, let me know your thoughts and enjoy! 

The starting months of your pregnancy were perfect. Except for the morning sickness, the nausea and the overwhelming craving for popcorn. Putting those discrepancies aside, everything was perfect until it wasn’t. 

The insecurities didn’t start until the middle of your second trimester. At exactly five months. You felt uncomfortable, heavier, your clothes didn’t fit right; and no over the counter or at home-remedy helped the inevitable stretch marks now adorning your stomach and thighs. Your overpowering confidence was at a downward spiral and Jungkook had started to take notice. 

You took longer to get ready in the morning. Every outfit you put on would end up on the bedroom floor, until you ended up wearing one of his oversized shirts and leggings. Covering the bump you were so adamant on showing off at the start of your pregnancy. Whenever he went to touch you, you would flinch or push his hands away if they stayed on your body for longer than five minutes. 

It broke his heart, that you couldn’t see yourself the way he saw you. A strong, beautiful, independent goddess who also happened to be the most amazing women he had the pleasure of knowing and love - next to his mother of course - and mother of his two children. 

He tried to remind you every day. Praised your body for the way it looked and never compared it to the way it used to look. He told you how beautiful you were at every second of the day. Even going as far as leaving sticky notes around the apartment, with kind reminders and loving words for you to find throughout your day. And on the odd occasion in which you would let him touch you more intimately in the privacy of your bedroom. He always made sure to shower the parts that you had started to dislike about yourself with extra care and love. 

Jungkook did everything in his power to ease away your insecurities, but it seemed like nothing was working. It was a Thursday night where instead of finishing the final re-touches of the album artwork he had been hired to design. He was on google, researching, trying to come up with different ways to get you out of your head.

10 Ways To Make Your Beautiful Pregnant Wife Feel Less Insecure. (with pictures.) 

Was the article he was currently on. He scrolled past the first five suggestions, knowing he had implemented them well into his routine. Until he landed on number six. A babymoon. He read the description carefully. A light bulb went off in his head as he immediately opened up a new tab in search for different flight info’s, until he remembered an important factor. You were close to being six months pregnant. Would flying be safe? 

Jungkook opened a new tab. 

He really should be working, but work didn’t matter nearly as much as you, Haneul and the baby. And his family's well being always came first. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to perform at his best if he knew that you or his daughter’s weren’t feeling their best. So he continued on with his research, bought the flight tickets. Made a mental note to finish the re-touches early in the morning and talk to Yoongi on taking his vacation days sooner than originally planned. 

Jungkook was on a mission, almost deemed it mission impossible. But he was confident that by the time the two of you returned from a relaxing island getaway, full of couple’s massages, spa days and sleeping in, your head would be held high and oozing with the sexiest kind of confidence. 

Maybe Jungkook was getting a little too excited and ahead of himself but he couldn’t wait to be with you alone. No distractions or a four year old he loved more than life. 

The second Haneul heard the front door open she jumped off her bed, ignoring your third read through of her favorite bedtime story, ran past you and out her bedroom door. 

“Princess, why aren’t you sleeping?” Jungkook questions a grunt running past his lips, knowing he had picked her up. You smirk and get up, holding onto the dresser, blinking rapidly, scaring the light flashes away. That was a new symptom that had started recently. Whenever you got up too fast, your vision would get spotty, throwing off your balance. It annoyed you to no end, taking it’s respectful spot at the top of your least favorite pregnancy symptoms. The second one being morning sickness. 

Jungkook walked into Haneul’s room with the four year old hoisted onto his waist. She was telling him about her eventful day at school and how this kid in her class shared his washable markers with her. A young love story, you had deemed it when she was dreamily talking about Jae and his pretty brown eyes on your icecream date earlier. You promised not to tell Jungkook. The two of you knowing the fate of the four year old if he were to find out about her little crush. 

“So you’re liking your new school baby?” He set her down, shooting you a loving kiss, making him laugh when you pretended to catch it and setting it above your heart. Something the two of you did after dating when Haneul was only one. Eventually the now four year old caught on and started joining in. Jungkook loved it. 

“Mhm, we’re making our own book tomorrow.” She said excitedly and ran to her bed, laying down, bringing her blue sparkly comforter up to her neck. Jungkook walks over, leaning down and leaves a gentle kiss against her forehead. 

“Then you better get some sleep, if you want to be the New York Times best selling author and beat Uncle Joonie.” He tucks her in, tickling her sides gently making her laugh and push his hands away. You roll your eyes, praying for your baby girl to be a momma’s girl instead of her dad’s. You needed a win every once in a while. 

“Goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy.” She whispers, holding the stuffed dinosaur to her side tightly. 

“Goodnight Princess, I love you.” You say and walk over to Jungkook’s side, leaning into his side cautiously. Excited to tell him how good you felt today. That for once in weeks you didn’t wake up and disliked what you saw in the morning. Instead you indulged in this new found love, hoping this high would stay longer than a day. 

“I love you guys too.” 

“You what?” You whisper-yell, staring back at the flight tickets Jungkook had bought and printed out at work. 

“I’m treating you to a well-deserved vacation baby. So you better call the gyno tomorrow. I already googled it to see if it’s safe for you to fly, and yahoo answers said yes.” He takes your hand in his, shining his soft eyes at you. “But still call to make sure.” 

“So you trusted yahoo answers and went and bought the tickets anyway?” You ask in disbelief, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes. You weren’t sad, or upset. In fact you were touched and your hormones were all over the place. Plus with the new added confidence you found yourself basking in all day today, you were overwhelmed. The only acceptable reaction was to cry. 

“Babe,” he pauses and uses his thumbs to wipe away your tears. “I want to treat you, be alone with you, help you make you feel on top of the world again because baby, you deserve it and I hate seeing you down lately.” 

“You do so much for me lately. I know I don’t always show it but it does make me feel a lot better.” You rest your forehead against his and wrap your arms around his neck. “But this is crazy Kook, we can have a babymoon here, the beach is just a thirty minute drive away.” 

“And our destination is two, three hours tops. Please just let me do this for you.” He leaves a gentle kiss against your nose and your lips. “Plus there’s just something sexy about hotel rooms.” He winks. 

You scoff and push him away, hating the way you silently agreed with him. Remembering all the times the two of you met up at hotel rooms, for a night full of rendezvous at the start of your relationship. That’s when the panic settles in, all the lingerie, bathing suits and overall beach attire didn’t fit you anymore. And if they did, they didn’t fit the same way and exaggerated the parts of your body you disliked most now. 

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook settles down next to you, rubbing his palm over your bump. His smile gets wider when he feels his other baby girl kick. “I think the baby is on my side, she wants her beautiful mom to take a nice relaxing break.” 

“I don’t have anything to wear.” You pout, resting one of your hands on top of his. “Nothing fits me anymore and buying new clothes is useless if I’m going to outgrow them in a few weeks.” You sigh, noting that you were sinking again. You knew your confidence was going to last long, but you didn’t expect it to disappear so fast and so suddenly. 

“Why wear clothes when you can just be naked.” 

You push him away and turn to the side. Your back facing him. “Goodnight Jungkook.” 

Jungkook laughs and snakes his arm around your waist pulling you close. “I’m sorry I know you’re frustrated, everything you wear looks beautiful on you.” He kisses your cheek and rests his head on top of yours. “We can go shopping this weekend, just you and I. I won’t even complain.” 

“Promise.” You stick out your pinky, turning to face him. Your sulky face tugs at his heart strings and he wonders how amazing it is that Haneul has started picking up on some of your mannerisms. Haneul has pulled your pouty faces on him before and it makes him cave. 

“I promise.” 

The flight was awful. You were uncomfortable the entire time and because of the fact that Jungkook bought the tickets on a whim at the last minute. The two of you weren’t able to sit together. 

The two hour plane ride was spent with you listening to the couple next to you argue relentlessly, while Jungkook had the unfortunate faith of sitting next to two teenagers who communicated in that weird lingo of theirs. 

The uber ride to the hotel wasn’t any better. You and Jungkook were stuck listening to a man retell his entire life story. Wallowing in his mid-life crisis and how he was more than positive his eighteen year old daughter was the cause of his neighbor’s divorce. Jungkook and you exchange silent words between each other, coming up with an elaborate plan to escape the forty-year old through text. 

Frankly, you weren’t sure that jumping out of a moving car like you were in an action movie would be the smartest move. Even with Jungkook’s promise to keep you protected the entire way down. Thankfully it didn’t have to resort to that because once the two of you were finalizing the finishing touches on your plan. Your Uber stopped right in front of a beautiful beach resort, signaling the start of your long awaited babymoon. 

Jungkook tipped the driver, despite not having a pleasant experience. Took both of your suitcases from the trunk - yours bigger than his - and excitedly pulled you towards the entrance of the hotel. 

“Let’s go to the beach for a little while.” He suggests, both of his arms encasing you in as you rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor. “I want to see that bikini we bought for you on Saturday in its full glory.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 

You shake your head and bury your head into his chest. One thing you had certain. Jungkook’s libido had not faltered even in the slightest when he found out you were pregnant. In fact you have a suspicion it had increased and a little part of you was scared that once you gave birth it would diminish once and for all. 

Everything that goes up always has a way to go down. 

“Can I take a nap first. Haneul kept us up at night.” You mumble peering up at him. 

“I was kinda hoping you would say that.” He smiles and kisses the crown of your head. “I’m nearing thirty and have to keep reminding myself that I can’t run on two hours of sleep and still be considered a functioning human.” He pouts, pulling you in closer. “I don’t like that I’m getting old.” He whines. 

“If it helps you feel any better, you’re still the sexiest man I know. Clearly, with the greatest stroke game ever.” You joke, pointing at your baby bump to emphasize your not so innocent joke. 

“Stop trying to seduce me unless you want to nap.” 

“I’m not doing anything, you're just horny all the time.” You shrug, moving his arms away from your body as the elevator comes to a stop. You turn away from him, grabbing the handle of your suitcase and start making your way out of the elevator. You barely get two steps in until, when Jungkook takes a hold of your arm and reels you back in. 

His breath hits the shell of your ear. “How can I not when you’re my wife.” 

“I think you look beautiful.” Jungkook says from behind you, sitting on the lounge chair, looking at you through the full length mirror. 

After your nap, which was exactly an hour long. Courtesy of Jungkook’s alarm that woke the two of you up with a scare. The sun had set earlier than the two of you were used to and the beach had closed, leaving the pool as your only option for now a late night swim. Jungkook got dressed faster than you could blink that by the time you were out of the bed, and located your bathing suit in your suitcase; he was already strolling into the room in his red swim trunks and no shirt. His toned torso, tattooed sleeve and nipple piercings on full display.

For a second you thought this was a bad idea. The pit of your stomach swirling in newfound jealousy as you thought all the people who would be drooling over him, and sending you nasty looks when they took in your appearance. But you pushed those thoughts aside as you started to change. 

Jungkook sat on the lounge chair, busying himself on his phone. Probably texting Namjoon, checking up on Haneul. He didn’t look up until you were fully dressed, in your red bikini that barely left anything up for the imagination. His whole world stopped and he forgot how to breathe. 

It was absolutely ridiculous. No matter how many times Jungkook had seen you naked, which he loved -  preferred that outfit or lack there-off over anything - that seeing you in things that barely covered the parts you only reserved for him, always rendered him speechless. 

He would never be able to understand why you always picked yourself apart, when in his eyes you were an angel sent from above. Though, he knew at this point his words would be useless and that the only way to get you to believe him was if he showed you. 

Needless to say, late night swimming was taking a back seat for the night. 

“I’m so in love with you.” He says getting from his seat. His bedroom eyes burning holes through your soft ones as he made his way to you slowly. Carefully mapping out his actions like a predator ready to catch it’s pretty. It sent a blissful shudder up your spine. You knew the second you packed the bikini you bought on Saturday, leaving your hotel room would be impossible. 

Maybe that’s why you agreed to buying it. Knowing that the second Jungkook saw you in it, his hands would be on you in seconds. If it didn’t happen in the privacy of your room, it would’ve happened in the secluded area of the pool. That’s why Jungkook was a huge fan of late night swimming. He could touch you any way he wanted to, if you’d let him and no one would suspect a thing. 

“Yeah?” You tilt your head to the side, toying with the ties on your hips. All he needed to was to pull in the long bit and they would unravel. “I'm so in love with you too.” You gasp when his arms circle around your waist, palms splayed out wide against your stomach as he pressed his semi against your ass. 

“Mhm, good. Let’s go swimming tomorrow.” He gives you a wink through the mirror before diving into your neck. His lips find your sweet spot in seconds, sucking on it like he had something to prove. 

“What’s the matter, scared you’ll lose our stupid races?” You tilt your head, giving him more access. He chuckles against your skin, moving his hands up your body. He disconnects his lips from your skin and sends you a knowing look through the mirror before grabbing your boobs. You open your mouth in a silent moan as he smirks, rolling his palms over covered chest. The red triangles barely covered them and it was driving him insane, especially knowing they were slowly getting bigger as the months passed, getting ready to feed your daughter. 

He won’t tell you this until the time is right, but he’s secretly been fantasizing about the way your milk tastes.  

“I’ll always win, no matter how many times you beg for a rematch.” He stops massaging your boobs once your nipples are hard and peaking through the thin fabric. You look delicious and he can’t wait until he has you under him, devouring you, showering you with all the love he harbored for you. 

He moves his hands and unties your bikini, throwing it off to the side. Your eyes lock on his through the mirror and he smirks, pinching your nipples gently. You throw your head back moaning as he starts, rolling his cold palms against the hardened buds. 

“Look at you. So sexy and ready for me.” He whispers against the crown of your head, letting go of one of breasts, twinkling his fingers down the middle of your body. “You’re so beautiful, growing my baby. These are my favorite!” He traces the faint stretch marks on the side of your stomach delicately. The air gets caught in the back of your throat as you watch his moves closely. He makes sure to trace every single faint mark, his eyes never leave yours through the mirror, while his other hand continues to play with your breast, distracting any of your fleeting thoughts. 

“Are you wet for me yet?” His fingers play with the strings at the side of your bikini, threatening to pull them and undress you faster than you could blink. “Bet you’re soaked, isn't that right honey?” He mumbles against your cheek before leaving a gentle kiss. Both of his hands moving down and unraveling your red bottoms, making you gasp. 

You let them fall, watching as he kicks them to the side. “Why are you quiet tonight?” He says, using his thigh to part your legs even further. “Talk to me, I like hearing your voice.” He rests his hand on top of your mound. “I love hearing the noises you make for me.” 

Before you know it, Jungkook has two fingers on your clit, rolling it slowly, making you moan. “Baby, n-not here.” You gasp as moves them up and down your slit, the palm of his hand brushing over your clit in a ghostlike manner. 

Jungkook chuckles, pushing his hard cock against your backside. “I want you to watch yourself fall apart for me. Witness what you do to me all the time.” He plunges two of his fingers inside of you. You moan out his name, closing your eyes. Jungkook groans, taking hold of your chin, “open your eyes or I’ll stop.” He whispers in your ear. His baseless threat makes you panic, causing you to open your eyes fast. 

His lust filled eyes keep you trapped. Your desire between your legs grows with every thrust of his fingers. “M-More please, baby please.” You beg, attempting to grind your hips into the palm of his hands. 

“Think you can take my cock or do you need more time?” He takes his fingers out of you, running them up and down your slit a few times before he starts circling your clit again. “I’m going to stay buried in you all night long.” He states pulling away from your body. His eyes don’t falter, not even when he’s untying his swim trunks, or when he’s pushing them down and kicking them away to meet your discarded bathing suit somewhere on the floor of your hotel room. 

“Please, I want that. I miss you so much.” You gasp as he runs the head of his cock along your pussy lips. Coating him up with your essence, your mouth agape, tiny whines leaving the back of your throat. 

A satisfied hum passes through his flushed out lips. Oh, you were wishing they were on yours, but that would only delay the process. Plus the two of you had the whole night, the babymoon and your entire lifetime together to make out like desperate teenagers going through puberty for the first time. Right now you needed to feel him inside of you, it had been so long. 

Despite being fairly intimate with each other, especially during the start of your pregnancy when you were overly insatiable. Jungkook had always been adamant at fucking you properly, only putting half of it in, scared he would hurt the baby. But after reading a lot wikihow and cosmopolitan articles he learned that using his dick properly to fuck you the way he wanted to was safe. 

Therefore he wasn’t going to hold back anymore. 

“Hands on the mirror, lean forward for me. Tell me if anything hurts okay?” He reassured, aligning himself at your entrance as you followed his instructions. You nod and reply with a small ‘okay.’ Your verbal confirmation, enough to start pushing in. 

The stretch was delicious, you had forgotten how good it felt when he first plunged into you. How your soft velvet walls expanded enough to fit him, snuggling him in. “Oh my god, love, don’t stop.” You moan. He snickers, holding onto your hips. 

“I’m not even all the way in and you’re already clenching around me.” He breathes out, digging his thumb into your lower back, tracing over the faint stretch marks you’ve had since meeting him. They were truly his favorite, all your stretch marks were his favorite. Old or new, he couldn’t understand why they drove him insane, enough to have him hard in seconds and cumming untouched if he were to ever let go of that control. But he would never question it, his dirty little secret he relished in. 

“It’s been so long Kook, i-it feels so good.” You gasp when you feel the tip of his cock hit the soft mushy part inside of you, bottoming out. You have half a mind to turn around and hit him upside the head for depriving you from feeling this good, despite the slight sting of him stretching you out, for so long. 

Not that you ever complained. Jungkook had many gifts and making you cum in every way possible no matter what was definitely deserving of some kind of award. 

“Can I move?” He leans his body over, planting gentle kisses against your bare shoulder. His hips rolling against yours, teasing you. And you knew he was teasing you because of the evident smirk he was sending your way through the mirror. 

“Yes, don’t hold back. I can take it please.” You beg, gripping the sides of the mirror, hard. Enough to turn your knuckles white. 

He gives you an experimental thrust, mewling when he finally feels how deliciously tight you were. Knowing that no matter how many times he would fuck you open tonight and throughout the week, you will always be this tight. 

“You look so pretty, look at yourself taking my cock so well.” His hand travels to the front of your body gripping your neck, keeping your head in place, making sure you’re watching. His hips move into you hard, slapping against your ass, soft whines fall from your lips. The pleasure was intoxicating. 

Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t fucked you in so long, the pressure of his hand around your neck or your pregnancy hormones but your high was approaching fast. More so now that he wasn’t holding back and pistoning his cock inside of your pussy, the wet squelching sounds bouncing off the walls. 

“B-Baby don’t stop so close.” You hiss, pushing your hips back to meet his. Jungkook groans, tightening his hold around your neck and throwing his head back in pleasure. You could feel him pulsing inside of you and you knew you weren’t the only one that had been deprived of a well earned orgasm in months. 

“Where do you want it?” He pants digging his hand into your hips, fucking your faster. 

“Inside, cum inside so you can fuck it into me later.” You gasp arching your back, your pussy fluttering around his cock as the dam threatened to break. 

“Is that safe?” He cocks his head to the side. That was something he didn’t read up on and maybe he should’ve because now he was so close and wouldn’t have enough time to pull out. Not that he wanted to. He was serious when he said he wanted to be buried inside of you all night. 

“I don’t care right now baby just cum please I need it.” You reach behind you, taking hold of his hips attempting to push him even further into you. He nods, pushing away his anxious thoughts fucking into you deeper, hitting your g-spot every time. You all but scream out his name as your orgasm washes over you, sucking his cock in. Jungkook’s grip around your neck falters as he let’s go, his cum painting the inside of your walls white, some of it spilling out, while the two of you ride out your highs. 

He takes one look at you, so fucked out, so spent, so beautiful and he feels himself getting hard again. Scared you won’t be ready he pulls out, his cum and yours spilling out of your spent hole making his mouth water and he has to fight every bone in his body to not get down and lick it all up, like he normally would. But tonight was all about you. Hell this entire vacation was all about you and he was only going to act up on your wishes and your wishes only. 

“You okay?” He says picking you up bridal style and taking you over to the bed, laying down gently. He massages your thighs, his face close to yours as you look up at him speechless, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes. A small wave of panic floods through his veins, already coming up with the worst possible scenario. A side effect that came from being a single dad for the beginning two years of Haneul’s life. 

“Thank you.” A small smile appears across your face as you lean up and hug him tightly. “I needed that thank you, I-I love you.” You let out a sob, burying your face into his neck. Jungkook chuckles holding you gently, laying down next to you. By now he likes to think of himself as some kind of expert when it came to your sudden outbursts of emotions, loved them even. Except for when you got mad at him for leaving the empty carton of milk in the fridge again. Though, that was something that had been happening long before anything. It’s not that he forgot he just liked it when you told him. 

Call him a masochist or whatever. You were extremely sexy when upset, enough to have him succumbing to your desires. 

“You’re welcome baby. I’m sorry for holding out on you for long, but I promise I won’t do that anymore.” He says, running his fingers down your spine making you shiver. “Let’s stay like this for five more minutes and then I’ll help clean you up.” 

You shake your head and look up at him. “I was serious Kookie, I want you to fuck your cum into me again.” You smile, your tear stained face doing it for him. The complete one eighty of your emotions catching him off guard. 

Maybe he wasn’t a complete expert on your outbursts yet, because someway, somehow you always left him speechless. 

“Fine,” he leaves a gentle kiss against your forehead, smiling sweetly down at you. “Give me five minutes and I’ll have you screaming my name all night long.” 

“I can’t wait, daddy.”

#btshoneyhive #kpopscape #bts imagines #bts smut #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #dad!jungkook #bts!dad

[mmilkbreadd]

now playing:

10. to be so lonely.

playlist || previous track || next track

written part below the images!

wc: >1k

(tags in reblog)

A clumsy “good luck pal” coming from Atsumu's mouth inside the toilet was enough to make him nervous as hell. And the fact that he was waiting in the hallway for an entire minute and you hadn't arrived made him incredibly anxious. Reality hit him like the wind in winter.

A clumsy “good luck pal” coming from Atsumu's mouth inside the toilet was enough to make him nervous as hell. And the fact that he was waiting in the hallway for an entire minute and you hadn't arrived made him incredibly anxious. Reality hit him like the wind in winter.

A clumsy “good luck pal” coming from Atsumu's mouth inside the toilet was enough to make him nervous as hell. And the fact that he was waiting in the hallway for an entire minute and you hadn't arrived made him incredibly anxious. Reality hit him like the wind in winter.

“You can't blame me, darling. Not even a little bit.”

“You can't blame me, darling. Not even a little bit.”

The hallway was busy. Full of music players and staff members moving around like birds kept in a cage. Suna's eyes started wandering around the place, trying to keep himself distracted. The question of where Shittykawa —Oikawa, in a non-offensive way— had escaped to, popped in his mind. The last time they saw him was when Atsumu finished lowering his drums. The singer just ran inside with an exasperated expression on his face, asking everybody where “Iwa” was and ignoring your screams as well.

—Oh, you. The stunning and captivating (L/N), (Y/N).

“Where are you?” whispered Suna to himself, looking everywhere nearby.

There were only eight minutes and twenty seconds left for their performance. Rintaro checked his watch very often to see how brave and straightforward he had to be, to let his feelings out once and for all, before playing the bass in front of thousands of people.

“I know that you're tryna be friends. I know you mean it.”

He started cursing Atsumu in his mind, wishing he hadn't tried to clean his car, knowing about his weak stomach. Between the nervousness because of the competition and the bird poop, Miya couldn't handle it and threw up the sandwich he ate before leaving the hotel. The mess that his 'fluids' caused was still there since no one dared to clean it.

Two minutes and three seconds left. Maybe this was not the right time for a love confession... If only your hand on Suna's shoulder hadn't stopped him before giving up.

“Sorry, pretty boy,” you said, after giving him a radiant smile. Rintaro sighed in relief and smiled back, admiring every inch of you. “Got caught up with a fan who snuck in. Of course, security got them. But it was nice talking to them for a while.”

“Don't call me baby again. It's hard for me to go home.”

Your make-up was ready, and your clothes fitted you perfectly. Even if Suna always thought you were gorgeous with whatever you were wearing, now he was completely numb. A few seconds of silence accompanied by Rintaro's heavy breathing made him realize he had stared at you for too long without saying anything.

“You look very good, (Y/N),” he admitted, with his cheek a bit flushed. You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw it. Suna was never nervous around you. Well, you hadn't noticed it, at least. “Are you nervous?”

'Come on, Rintaro, don't be ridiculous. Just tell her!'

“I already told you I'm not!” you said, letting out a giggle. Then, you stopped grabbing Suna's shoulder. He looked at the missing hand who was touching him before, longing to be touched again. “But it seems like you are. You look like you are going to pass out, Rin.”

Suna flinched at the sweet nickname you gave him, wishing you didn't say it as just a friend but more. He sighed again, trying to win the courage to tell you what he kept as a secret for too long.

“You'll win, it's just a trick. And this is it, so I'm sorry”

“(Y/N), I don't know how to say this, but I appreciate your company a lot,” he said, wanting to punch himself in the face of what he had just said.

'I appreciate your company? You are a dumbass, Suna Rintaro.'

“Aw, I appreciate your company too, Rin,” you said with a soft smile on your lips. There was it again, the sweet nickname meant for a friend. Just a friend. “I hope this is the calm before the storm. I need you to go out with all you have, got it? Go wild if necessary. Maybe take out your shirt for the fans! They'll love it.”

Suna melted a bit on the inside, your smile made him like that sometimes. It helped him during the darkest times and when he was feeling down at practice.

Your smile was the final thing he needed to confess his feelings.

“(Y/N), I lo—” but before Suna could finish the sentence, a pair of hands grabbed her.

“Tooru! Where were you all this time?!”

'Damn Shittykawa.'

“Not important. It's time (Y/N)!” he screamed, grinning. “Anus, come on, we need you on the stage!”

“To be so lonely.”

Oikawa started dragging you towards the stage. It was their turn to play at the competition. He saw Atsumu already sitting beside his drums. He looked much better than the last time he saw him, ten minutes ago.

But Suna wouldn't let this opportunity slide. He felt too inspired to don't say what he thought of you, so Rintaro rushed to be at least a few meters away from you.

“To be so lonely. To be so—”

“I love you!” he screamed, making you turn around.

Your eyes were opened wide, your lips merely apart. Oikawa opened his mouth in surprise, and Atsumu —even if he was farther away— almost fell to the ground upon hearing Suna's words.

“And now, the moment you all were waiting for... One girl and Three Goblins!”

You closed your eyes trying to realize what was happening.

This sure was not the perfect time for a love confession.

“To be so lonely.”

♡ the daily tea of today:

didn’t we all cry today because of the amazing song ‘one girl and three goblins’ performed tonight?

tears! tears! tears!

oikawa tooru sure is a talented songwriter. i can’t wait to hear more.

thank you all for voting in our love war.

with 259 votes, the winner is... suna rintaro! congratulations to everyone who voted for him, your prize is a kiss from our beloved sunarin 🥰

stay tuned to see who the winner of the REAL competition is. but after today’s performance, i’m not surprised if our favorite band comes out victorious!

-your daily tea provider.

note: to everyone who didn’t understand it while reading, the words in italics and in between brackets (“”) are the lyrics of the song ‘Oikawa’ wrote. But it also suggests, on more than one occasion, how Suna fell in love with MC. So, in conclusion, both stories are very similar, though we wish they don’t end up the same...

to be part of the taglist please send an ask or complete this FORM

#suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna smau #suna #suna rintaro #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa smau #oikawa #oikawa tooru #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #hq boys #hq x reader

[lucienballard]

The Velvet Underground’s 30 greatest songs – ranked!

30. Ride Into the Sun (1969)The Velvets recorded two versions of Ride Into the Sun: a fabulous 1969 instrumental laden with fuzz guitar and a hushed 1970 vocal take backed by organ. Somewhere between the two lies one of their great lost songs; Lou Reed’s disappointingly flat 1972 solo version doesn’t do it justice at all.

29. Run Run Run (1967)For all the shock engendered by the lyrics of Heroin and I’m Waiting for My Man, the most malevolent-sounding track on the debut album might be Run Run Run, a powerful R&B groove lent a gripping darkness by Reed’s noisy guitar playing and the screw-you-I-take-drugs sneer of his vocals.

28. Beginning to See the Light (1969)The title suggests awakening, the melody is bright, but the lyrics are dark and bitter. They may have been directed at John Cale, who played on an initial version of the song, which was subsequently re-recorded after Reed sacked him, against the wishes of his bandmates. A ferocious 1969 live version amps up the tension.

27. Foggy Notion (1969)Reed was a lifelong doo-wop fan. His passion usually found its expression when the Velvet Underground recorded backing vocals for their ballads – as on Candy Says – but the tough, rocking Foggy Notion went a stage further, gleefully stealing a chunk of the Solitaires’ 1955 single Later for You Baby.

26. The Gift (1968)In which the band set a two-chord grind that may, or may not, have been based on their instrumental Booker T in one channel and a blackly comic Reed short story read by Cale in the other. “If you’re a mad fiend like we are, you’ll listen to them both together,” offered the producer, Tom Wilson.

25. Guess I’m Falling in Love (1967)Recorded at the White Light/White Heat sessions, but never completed, the April 1967 live recording of Guess I’m Falling in Love – taped at the Gymnasium in New York – will more than suffice. It boasts three chords, a distinct rhythm and blues influence, Reed in streetwise, so-what punk mode and explosive guitar solos somehow potentiated by the rough sound quality.

24. Temptation Inside Your Heart (1968)“It was not Mein Kampf – my struggle,” the guitarist Sterling Morrison once reflected of the Velvet Underground’s career. “It was fun.” A delightful late Cale-era outtake that inadvertently captured Morrison, Cale and Reed’s giggly backchat as they recorded the backing vocals, Temptation Inside Your Heart bears that assessment out.

23. New Age (1970)New Age comes in two varieties. Take your pick from the world-weary, small-hours rumination found on 1969: The Velvet Underground Live, or the more epic studio version that the Velvets biographer Victor Bockris suggested was “an attempt to present some encouraging statements to a confused audience as the 70s began”. Both are superb.

22. After Hours (1969)The Velvets’ eponymous 1969 album ends, improbably, with the drummer, Moe Tucker, singing a song that could have dated from the pre-rock era. The twist is that her childlike voice and the cute melody conceals an almost unbearably sad song, ostensibly a celebration of small-hours boozing, but filled with longing and regret.

21. I Can’t Stand It (1969)Amid the Velvets’ songs about drugs and drag queens lurked the plaintive sound of Reed pining for his college sweetheart, Shelley Albin, the subject of Pale Blue Eyes, I Found a Reason and I Can’t Stand It. The latter’s cocky strut is disrupted by a desperate lyrical plea: “If Shelley would just come back, it’d be all right.”

20. The Black Angel’s Death Song (1967)There is something folky and vaguely Dylan-esque at the heart of The Black Angel’s Death Song, but by the time Cale had finished with it – alternately strafing it with screeching, insistent viola and hissing into the microphone in lieu of a chorus – it sounded, and still sounds, unique.

19. I Found a Reason (1970)It is one of the ironies of the Velvet Underground that the most forward-thinking, groundbreaking band of their era could occasionally sound like old-fashioned rock’n’roll revivalists. Buried on side two of Loaded was one of the loveliest of Lou Reed’s loving homages to doo-wop, complete with spoken-word section.

18. Some Kinda Love (1969)Musically straightforward, sensual in tone, Some Kinda Love is a complex business, part seduction soundtrack, part refusal to be hemmed in by standard categories of sexuality – “no kinds of love are better than others … the possibilities are endless / and for me to miss one / would seem to be groundless”. Killer line: “Between thought and expression lies a lifetime.”

17. European Son (1967)European Son isn’t a song so much as an eruption. It sounds like a band overturning the established order of rock’n’roll, almost literally: after two brief verses, it bursts into thrilling frantic chaos with a verbatim crash, like the contents of an upended table hitting the floor.

16. Rock & Roll (1970)It is hard to see Loaded’s driving, joyous hymn to music’s redemptive power – “her life was saved by rock and roll” – as anything other than disguised autobiography on the part of Reed. The suggestion that music will endure “despite all the amputations”, meanwhile, seems to look forward to his departure from the Velvet Underground.

15. Candy Says (1969)No one else in 1969 was writing songs remotely like Candy Says, a stunning, tender pen portrait of the transgender Warhol superstar Candy Darling set to a gentle doo-wop inspired backing. Its melancholy seems to presage the note Darling wrote on her deathbed in 1974: “I had no desire for life left … I am just so bored by everything.”

14. Sunday Morning (1967)Sunday Morning was written at the behest of Wilson. He wanted a single that might conceivably get on the radio; he got a haunting, melancholy sigh of a song, its battered wistfulness and undercurrent of paranoia – “watch out, the world’s behind you” – the perfect encapsulation of morning-after regret.

13. What Goes On (1969)Morrison maintained that the studio incarnation of What Goes On wasn’t a patch on the live versions the band performed with Cale on organ. Maybe, but the studio incarnation featuring Cale’s replacement, Doug Yule, is great. It prickles with nervous energy, Reed’s guitar playing is amazing, its churning coda takes up half the song and it still feels too short.

12. Femme Fatale (1967)Apparently provoked by the damaged, doomed Warhol superstar Edie Sedgwick – with whom Cale had a brief affair – Femme Fatale is as beautiful and fragile as its inspiration. The story of a wary, ruined former suitor warning others off the titular anti-heroine is lent a chilly edge by Nico’s delivery.

11. I Heard Her Call My Name (1968)In the Velvets’ early days, Reed purported to be “the fastest guitarist alive”. A berserk claim, but his Ornette Coleman-inspired solos on I Heard Her Call My Name are some of the most extraordinary and viscerally exciting in rock history, frequently atonal, spiked with ear-splitting feedback and pregnant pauses.

10. Ocean (1969)The Velvet Underground recorded Ocean several times – one version is supposed to feature the return of Cale on organ – but never released it in their lifetime, which seems extraordinary. It is among the greatest of their later songs, its atmosphere beautiful, the epic ebb and flow of its sound completely immersive.

9. I’m Waiting for the Man (1967)An unvarnished lyrical depiction of scoring drugs tied to music on which Reed’s rock’n’roll smarts and Cale’s background in minimalist classical music – the pounding, one-chord piano part – meld in a kind of relentless perfection. Amusingly, there is now a pharmacy at the song’s fabled location of Lexington 125.

8. I’ll Be Your Mirror (1967)A song about Reed’s affair with Nico that could just as easily be about Andy Warhol’s approach to art, I’ll Be Your Mirror is one of those Velvet Underground tracks that makes their initial commercial failure seem baffling. How could a pop song as wonderful as this fail to attract attention? Nico and Morrison on stage at the New York Society for Clinical Psychiatry annual dinner in 1966.

7. White Light/White Heat (1968)A delirious paean to amphetamine, its subject reflected in the lyrics – “I surely do love to watch that stuff tip itself in” – and the turbulent, distorted rush of its sound. The band appear to be barely in control as it careers along; the chaotic finale, where Cale finally loses his grip on the bass line, is just fantastic.

6. Heroin (1967)Heroin was the deal-breaker at early Velvets gigs, provoking a “howl of bewilderment and outrage”. The shock of its subject matter has dulled with time, but its surges from folky lament to sonic riot still sound breathtaking. Oddly sweet moment: Reed’s chuckle as Tucker loses her place amid the maelstrom and suddenly stops playing.

5. Pale Blue Eyes (1969)“High energy does not necessarily mean fast,” Reed once argued. “High energy has to do with heart.” Hushed, limpidly beautiful and almost unbearably sad, Pale Blue Eyes’ depiction of a strained, adulterous relationship proves his point. In its own vulnerable way, it is as powerful as anything the Velvet Underground recorded.

4. Sweet Jane (1970)Sweet Jane started life as a ballad – see the versions recorded live at the Matrix in San Francisco in 1969 – but, sped and toughened up, it became as succinct and perfect a rock’n’roll song as has ever been written, based around one of the greatest riffs of all time.

3. Venus in Furs (1967)For a band who inspired so much other music, the Velvet Underground’s catalogue is remarkably rich with songs that still sound like nothing else; they were as inimitable as they were influential. Venus in Furs is a case in point: umpteen artists were galvanised by its dark, austere atmosphere; none succeeded in replicating it.

2. Sister Ray (1968)A monumental journey into hitherto-uncharted musical territory, where a primitive garage-rock riff meets Hubert Selby-inspired lyrics and improvisation that sounds like a psychological drama playing out between Reed and Cale, all at skull-splitting volume. Fifty-three years later, it is without peer for white-knuckle intensity.

1. All Tomorrow’s Parties (1967)Ninety per cent of the Velvet Underground’s oeuvre consists of no-further-questions classics. The astonishingly high standard of almost everything they did makes picking their “best” song a matter of personal preference, rather than qualitative judgment. So let’s go for Warhol’s favourite, on which the sour and sweet aspects of their debut album entwine faultlessly. The melody is exquisite; the music monolithic and unrelenting, powered by Cale’s hammering piano and Tucker’s stately drums; Nico’s performance perfectly inhabits the lyrics, which turn a depiction of a woman choosing what dress to wear into a meditation on emptiness and regret. It is original and utterly masterly: the Velvet Underground in a nutshell.

source

#the velvet underground

[lukesperfectharmonyhair]

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are. 

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss* 

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience. 

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie 

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums. 

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary 

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD 

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious 

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk 

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite 

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on 

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

 - julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face 

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani 

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous 

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR 

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i 

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG 

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too 

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU 

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie molina #alex mercer #luke patterson #reggie peters #willie #flynn jatp #nick jatp #carrie wilson #renew jatp #netflix PLEASE we are begging give us a season 2

[mountainsluna]

his lip ring | part one

PART TWO

summary: san’s black lip ring causing the death of me you :)

pairing: San x Reader (female)

genre: suggestive / lightttttt smut

word count: 872

✩ [author’s note]...i’m nervous all my san writings are going to be smut...this part isn’t that intense at all but part 2 will make up for it i believe. think of this more as a prologue :)

✩ masterlist

✩ requests : check bio or masterlist ♡

Being backstage at music shows was always fun for you. You didn’t have a lot of 1 on 1 time with your boyfriend but the other boys and even the staff always made you feel welcomed.

You were sitting in the corner chatting with Yunho and a stylist about the stage outfits for their Thanxx performances. Reaching to take a sip of your coffee you nearly choked as you saw San walk in, he had just finished with hair and makeup and he looked absolutely stunning. The small black ring now attached to his lip seizing all your attention. It took every ounce of self control in you not to jump him on the spot. You began to cough profusely, actually choking on your coffee at this point.

"Baby what happened?! Can you breathe?" San asked, rubbing your upper back. You composed yourself enough to look up at him, his face only inches from yours, the mere sight of him so close made you want to devour him.

"Let's go to the roof for a bit so you can get some air, my love." Oh no.

You couldn't be alone with San.

Not now.

Not right now.

Not while that tiny piece of metal was just sitting there torturing you, mocking you.

He had to be on stage in almost 30 minutes and there was no way you'd get your fill of San before he had to go. You couldn't let him find out about your little fetish either, or he'd never let you live it down.

The rooftop was a nice little area for idols to hangout between performances but today it was empty, of course it was empty. San held your hand softly as he told you about a funny conversation he had earlier that day with Wooyoung, when he noticed you weren’t looking at him.

"Love? Am I boring you?" He asked trying to get your attention back on him.

Your eyes shot up to his instantly "Wha-!? No baby no! I love listening to you.."

"Then...what's on your mind?" He interlaced your hands with his, having backed you against a wall unintentionally, you had absolutely no way out.

"I just..." your eyes began to trail down to his lips, not being able to look away. "You...Your lip." Your voice barely above a whisper. But San being so close, heard every word.

He leaned down slowly, his lips just barely grazing yours, taking note of how your breathing sped up the closer he got. You had been together 2 years now and San had never seen you this flustered in public before.

"Baby...do you like my lip ring?" He asked slowly through a smirk.

You nearly whimpered before you pressed an eager kiss onto his lips. The metal pressing against your bottom lip sending chills down your body. San's tongue darted out to lick your lip as he pulled away, moving his head down to your neck making sure his lip ring grazed your jawline as he went.

Your eyes were closed so tight, the feeling of his lips against you was too overwhelming.

He didn’t kiss long, bringing his head up to look into your eyes, the lust that clouded your gaze almost making him risk it all.

The sound of the heavy door opening brought you out of your dazed state. "San you're on in 10 minutes!" You heard a manager's voice call. San assured them he'd be down in a second before turning back to you. Pecking your cheek quickly before pulling you back into the building.

The elevator ride down with his manager was torture. San stared at you the entire time, that evil smirk of his never leaving his face and you could do nothing but stand there.

You wished him good luck before he stepped on stage, giving him one last kiss. Before you were able to pull away, he grabbed onto your arm firmly. "Make sure you watch me, love." He said into your ear, his dark eyes and smile making you weak.

[ then he cursed blessed us with this performance :) ]

You stood there, watching every move and every expression. Your admiration for San grew every time you watched him preform. His stage presence was unmatched by anyone you had ever seen before. You were always mesmerized by him but today, his moves made you feel even more hot and bothered than usual. Each one making you even wetter and wetter. One particular smirk had your thighs clenching together.

Finally, the performance ended after what felt like an eternity. The boys came down, high fiving you as they passed, San moving next to you to put his arm around your waist leading you back to the waiting room.

“What did you think of our performance, love?” He asked sweetly, a complete switch from his actions just moments ago.

Is he crazy??? Am I crazy???

He smiled at you expectantly, waiting for your answer. “It was amazing, Sannie! You always do so well, I loved every second of it.” You tried your hardest not to sound as flustered as you were.

San leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Maybe I can hear you say those words to me again later tonight.”

#ateez #atiny #san #choi san #ateez smut #smut #san smut #san fluff #hongjoong #seonghwa #yeosang #yunho #mingi #wooyoung #jongho

[animeanxiety]

The Soft Angel

~tsukishima x reader~

A/N: omg i haven’t posted in like 10 years im sorry💀💀

genre: ☁️fluff☁️

⚠️warnings⚠️: none! pure fluff! lowkey cringe maybe but cute ahah

🎧currently streaming🎧:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the first time y/n was ever performing on a stage. Y/n was simply used to recordings, just regular covers. But here she is in her friend’s car, where they’re headed towards a bar that her friend works at, knowing the bar lets people perform songs, dances, singing, and comedy. Maybe even some magic if they were lucky. Somehow her friend had convinced y/n to perform at her bar, since she knew that y/n could sing like an angel. “Hey, y/n we’re here.” Y/n’s friend spoke excitedly. “O-Oh, okay.” Y/n responded nervously. Y/n had never performed live, and she was so scared of messing it up. Y/n and her friend entered the bar, Y/n scanned through the people sitting at the bar table and the people sitting at the tables. Her eyes seemed to linger on a certain blonde who was supposedly sitting with his band. She thought he was pretty tall. Taller than her for sure. “Y/n, the person in charge of the stage said your up first.-” Before she could finished, y/n felt even more nervous. She was first. First one up. She really wished she could just disappear at that very moment. All y/n could do was give a nervous and shaky nod. “Come on, you’ll be fine. And you’ll do great.” Her friend tried to reassure and calm y/n’s nerves. Y/n’s friend told her to relax and grab some water. 

Sipping on her water, anticipating when she was going to be called up to the stage, y/n found her eyes, wandering around the room. She saw a few paintings and a wall full of sticky notes. Y/n figured that maybe she could post a sticky note on the wall. Walking up to the little table, in front of the sticky note filled wall, that had 5 different colours of sticky notes, beige, coral pink, a muted green, baby blue, and a light yellow. Y/n went for the light yellow sticky note, when she found her hand collided with a hand bigger than hers. She looks up to see the blonde she noticed earlier. “My bad,” the blonde, who had golden-brown eyes, spoke. “No it’s alright,” Y/n reassured. She noticed he was trying to go for the green one, so y/n passed it to him and a pen. He nodded and started to draw a little dinosaur on it. Y/n decided to draw a moon and stars. She had always loved constellations as a kid. 

Finishing up the small sketch y/n made on her sticky note, she didn’t realized that the blonde stayed and watched her draw. “Cool,” he spoke, y/n was slightly frightened, assuming that he had left earlier. “Thanks, yours too” she gave him a sweet smile. “You performing tonight?” Y/n asked, “Yeah, me and my band. No vocalist though. We’re third on the stage.” He explained. “Lucky, at least you’re not first, Y/n, My name is Y/n.” She introduced. “Kei. Good luck up there. I need to head back” Kei remarked. Y/n nodded in response.

Now was the time for y/n to hop on the stage and sing her heart out. Her heart was pounding. She was so very nervous. Y/n scanned the room for her friend but no where to be seen. Until her eyes found Kei, they made eye contact and his eyes shouted the words, “You can do it.” She gave him a smile that accepted his reassurance. 

As y/n approaches the stage, she’s trying to calm herself down. Finally she makes it the the center of the stage, a warm stage light focused on her. Y/n takes one last deep breath. As the backing track started, a smooth soft yet angelic voice came from her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His eyes were fixed on her. Her beautiful figure. Kei couldn’t help but stare, not just because of her beautiful image, but her angelic voice. It was like he was being serenaded by her. Kei hadn’t realized that his cheeks were flushed red. One because he thought y/n was absolutely gorgeous, and two because Kei loved the sound of her voice. He couldn’t help but feel a weird feeling in his stomach the longer he heard her sing. The feeling of butterflies in his stomach. “Hey, Kei. Earth to Kei.” His orange-haired band member, the drummer, waved his hand side to side in front of his face, trying to get him to snap out of his face. “H-Huh?” Kei spoke slightly confused. “You good, you were staring at that girl on stage.” Kei’s green haired friend, the keyboardist, remarked. “My bad, but wouldn’t she be perfect as our vocalist..?” Kei pondered. “She would, maybe we can ask after.” Kei’s black haired friend, the guitarist, Kageyama suggested. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n expected it to feel like eternity, but after all it wasn’t that bad. Her friend ran up to her and congratulate y/n, for doing something so well out of her comfort zone. “Thanks y/f/n” Y/n thanked. “Hm? I think someone wants to talk to you, Y/n” Her friend pointed out, Kei who stood behind them slightly. “May I speak with her privately?” He asked. Y/n and her friend looked at each other, then nodded. 

Following the tall blonde outside, she wondered what he needed her for. Kei waited for the door to close before saying anything. “First of all, You did amazing, you’re voice was gorgeous.” Kei spoke, but slowly turned mumbled towards the end. “Thank you, I can’t wait for your band to perform,” Y/n spoke softly and sweetly. “Secondly, I know this is a very big question, and most likely you would need to think about it first,” Kei started, “But my and m band were wondering if you wanted to be our vocalist?” He finished. At this very moment, Y/n is very shocked at the question, she thinks for a moment. Y/n knows she’s wanted to take a step further with what talent she has, and decides that she should. “Yes, I would love to.” Y/n answered gratefully, “Actually? Really? Are you sure?” Kei asked, she simply nodded. “Okay, uhm, Great. One last thing. I know we haven’t know each other for very long either, and I know this is out of the blue, but I wanted to know if you wouldn’t mind me taking you out, to like some place to eat? I’d really like to get to know you.” Kei questioned, hoping it didn’t sound too creepy. “Sure, dino boy. You seem interesting.” Y/n grinned, a small peachy blush appearing on her cheeks. Kei couldn’t comprehend how cute it was to see her cheeks turn pink, and her small cute grin. “Uh, here’s my number, I’ll let you know when me and my band can meet up with you,” Kei started, “And when I can take you out to eat” He finished, rubbing the back of his neck, as he looks down to his side, handing y/n his number. “Alright, I’ll send you a text later.” She responded. “We should head back inside,” Y/n suggested. “R-Right,” He stuttered, rubbing the top of her head, pulling the door open for her, “Shorties, first” Kei teased, “You’re just abnormally tall” She giggled. Maybe this was a start of a new chapter to Y/n’s life, with her passion for music and singing, along side of someone who she takes a romantic interest in. And she can’t wait for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

general taglist: @sachirou-senpai

haven’t posted in ten years omg

#Tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima imagine #oneshot #tsukishima oneshot #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #ruerue-writes #kei tsukishima #tsukishima fluff #fluff #band au #kageyama tobio #yamaguchi tadashi #hinata shoyo #haikyuu x reader

[omgjasminesimone]

Cheer

Logan x MC

Follow up to this AU

Word Count: ~3,000

Logan rips the bandage with his teeth, tenderly looping it around Ellie’s knee multiple times. He makes sure it’s tight enough to provide ample support, but not so tight it’s cutting off her circulation. “There, how does that feel?” He asks, placing a gentle kiss to Ellie’s knee before looking up at her from where he’s kneeling on the gym floor.

Ellie tests it out, bending her knee a little. “That feels good, thank  you Logan.” She’s about to turn to head back to practice when Logan grips her hand.

“Hey, take it easy out there, alright? You don’t have to go full out every practice.” Logan suggests.

Ellie smiles, looping her arms around his neck. “Aww, are you worried about me?”

Logan’s hands go to her waist, hugging her to him. “Obviously. It’s pretty nerve wracking to watch my girlfriend get thrown around like a rag doll.”

Ellie smirks, absentmindedly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Well, us real athletes have to do some pretty dangerous stuff. Not all sports are as easy as basketball.” She teases.

Logan frowns and pulls away from her a little, but he’s not doing a very good job of looking believably upset. “Well damn, way to make me feel bad about myself. And so soon after Canyon Crest not making it to the State Championships too. You can be so cruel. Good thing you’re so pretty.” He teases right back.

Ellie would have continued with their flirty banter, but the star crossed couple is interrupted. “Logan! If you keep distracting one of my most important flyers, I’m banning you from coming to practice. We’re trying to win a national title here!” Ellie’s cheer coach yells.

“Yes ma’am! Sorry about that, won’t happen again!” Logan yells back apologetically, getting to his feet. “You got me in trouble.” He quietly, and playfully, complains to Ellie.

She smiles at him. “I’ll make it up to you later.”

Logan grins, pulling her to him for a quick kiss. “I’m holding you to that troublemaker.”

“Ellie!” Her coach yells again.

“Coming!” She quickly replies, scurrying back over to the squad to keep working on the pyramid.

...

A week later in Orlando, Ellie is still distracted at a Logan free practice session. “Come on, stick it!” The coach yells as Ellie is tossed up onto the bases’ hands. Ellie wobbles, tightening her core to try to save it, but ultimately crumbles down to the ground.

“Oh my god, I told you not to replace Gia with Ellie.” Ingrid complains. “She’s about to cost us Nationals!”

Ellie never expected to make mat for the biggest cheerleading event of the year, and she certainly wasn’t expecting to be made a flyer, one of the most challenging and revered roles. But when Gia broke her leg after over flipping on a basket toss, it just made sense to give the spot to Ellie. Ellie is tiny and easy to lift, she works hard, and her technical skills are unbelievable for someone who’s been cheering less than a year.

But now, with only 2 days before the competition, the pressure is starting to get to her. Ellie doesn’t want to let anyone down. The squad has been working for months, for this two and a half minute performance that has to be perfect.

“Where is your head at Ellie?! You never drop this much. I took a big chance on you, because I believed in you. And right now, I’m starting to question my judgement.” Their coach critiques. Ellie fights back tears, nodding to show she’s listening. The coach turns her attention to the group. “Take 5. I want better attitudes from everyone when you come back in here.”

Ellie practically runs out of the gym, heading straight for her phone in the locker room. She sniffles as she dials Logan’s number from memory, leaning against the locker.

“Hey troublemaker, how’s Orlando?” He asks, sounding happy to hear from her.

“Logan.” Ellie replies, voice already breaking.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Logan immediately switches to comfort mode.

Ellie starts to cry as she explains that she’s not hitting any of her stunts. That she’s barely throwing her full. That she doesn’t think she can do it.

“Ellie.” Logan interjects when she finally lets him get a word in. “Everyone knows that you can do it besides you. You have to believe in yourself. That’s all it is babe.” He sighs. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

More tears well in her eyes as she tries to take in his sweet words. “I miss you.” She mumbles, rubbing at her eyes to try to keep her tears at bay.

“I miss you too. And I love you. You can definitely do this Ellie, so go back to practice and kill it.”

“I love you too, and I’ll try.” Ellie promises.

Practice goes a lot better after her Logan pep talk. Ellie is always amazed at how effectively he can instill confidence in her, even from over 2,000 miles away.

She’s feeling a lot better by the time she heads back to the room she’s sharing with Riya. And Ellie’s mood brightens considerably when she opens the door, and finds Logan sitting on the bed.

“Surprise trouble- humph.” He’s cut off when she tackles him onto the bed, kissing him soundly.

It’s several long moments before she can tear herself away. “What are you doing here?!” She questions.

Logan smiles, his hands coming up to rest just under her cheerleading skirt, squeezing her thighs. “Like I’d miss your big competition.”

“But what about school?” The cheerleaders all have permission to miss a couple of days for the competition. She doubts Logan has any such agreement over at Canyon Crest.

“Troublemaker, we’ve got like 3 more weeks until we graduate. I doubt they’re going to rescind my Langston offer for missing a couple of classes where we’re most likely just watching movies.”

“You never know though. You worked so hard to get your grades up to qualify for that Langston basketball scholarship. I’d hate to see all that go to waste.” Ellie insists.

Before Ellie, Logan didn’t really care about school. He probably would have dropped out if not for basketball. But now, he just wants to be wherever she is. So when he found out Langston was her plan, it became his plan too.

He needed straight As in all his Fall semester classes to raise his GPA enough to meet the Langston athlete minimum. It was hard work, but Logan was motivated. He might not have been serious about school, but he’s sure as hell serious about Ellie Wheeler. It also helped that his beautiful girlfriend is a great tutor.

He’s really looking forward to being at Langston together starting in the Fall. It will be nice to have Ellie cheering for his team, for once.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll get the assignments from a friend, okay?” He offers.

“Okay.” Ellie readily agrees, resting her head on his chest. She yawns, settling in for a nap. “Wait, are you trying to stay in here? What about Riya?”

Logan gently massages her back, lulling her to sleep. “She’s planning to stay in the room me and Darius are technically splitting.” He reveals.

“Perfect.” Ellie mumbles, almost asleep now. She doubts the Mar Vista Prep athletics program would sanction opposite gender room sharing, so they’ll have to be sneaky. Luckily, the couple has gotten pretty good at sneaking around due to Ellie’s dad forbidding her from dating Logan in the first place. Detective Wheeler has a strict ‘no athletes’ rule Ellie has chosen to ignore.

...

“....are you running through the routine in your head again?” Logan asks, playfully splashing her with salty Atlantic Ocean water.

“Am I that obvious?” Ellie returns, attempting to splash him back, but he weaves. Damn those quick basketball reflexes.

“Yep. I can practically hear you running the counts.” Logan quips, pulling her to him for a kiss.

With only one day left before the competition, their coach has instructed the cheerleaders to take the day off. It’s not worth risking injury when the routine is probably as good as it’s going to get at this point.

They do have a final early morning practice before the competition tomorrow though. And Ellie is determined to have a better showing than at their last practice.

“I’m just a little nervous, so I feel like I can’t relax. Sorry, this probably isn’t the Orlando vacation you wanted.” Ellie apologizes.

“I came to see you. I wanted to cheer on my favorite cheerleader. And to keep you from psyching yourself out because I know how you get.” He concludes with a small smile.

Ellie pouts up at him as he absentmindedly plays with the ties of her bikini bottom. “I’m trying not to get in my head.” Ellie knows how she gets too.

“Would it make you feel better to get some more practice in? I can be your base.” Logan proposes.

Ellie quirks a brow. “You?”

“What? I’ve seen how cheerleading works. I know how to do it.” Logan insists. He turns her around, placing his hands on her hips. He pulls her back a few steps into slightly deeper water, she assumes to break her fall when he no doubt drops her. “Let’s do that one where you go from the ground into Ingrid’s and Riya’s hands.”

“A hand toss cupie.” Ellie corrects.

“Yeah, that. Ready?” Logan replies.

“Ready as I’m gonna be.”

Ellie is expecting a countdown, but Logan throws her high in the air without one. She instinctively tightens up and Logan manages to grip her heel above his head, but that provides basically zero support so she crashes back into the water.

Ellie surfaces, sputtering a little. “Sorry troublemaker. But that wasn’t bad for a first try, huh?”

“Yeah, not bad. I’m actually kind of impressed. You put way too much power in that throw though. It’s supposed to be more of a gentle toss.”

“Noted. I’ll try to tone down my athletic prowess. But if you think about it, this is good practice for college cheer. Those male Langston cheerleaders will probably toss little old you like.....10 feet. Hey, you think I have what it takes to make the Langston cheer squad if the whole basketball thing doesn’t work out?” Logan teases, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist as he walks them deeper into the ocean.

“Honestly? I think I have a better chance of making the basketball team.” Ellie retorts with a smirk.

Logan laughs, gently running his thumb in circles on her thigh. “Teach a girl to shoot free throws and suddenly she thinks she runs the world. You’re gonna have to learn to dribble before you make the team babe. Also, your defense could use some work, tiny.”

“Hmm...maybe it would be easier to get you on the cheer squad then.” Ellie continues to play along.

“That’s the spirit! Want to try the cupie again?”

“No, I think I want to make out with my super athletic boyfriend instead.” Ellie buries her hands into the long wet strands of his dark hair.

Logan grins, leaning in close. “That can definitely be arranged.” He murmurs just before capturing her lips.

...

Ellie shakes Logan awake, causing him to groan and try to roll away from her. “Logan, you’ve gotta get up. Riya is coming to do my hair and makeup.” Ellie informs her sleepy boyfriend.

“You want me to leave?” He murmurs, stretching his arms out and yawning.

“No, but you have to put clothes on.” Ellie replies. She’s already dressed in her cheerleading uniform, ready for that early morning practice.

“I can do that.” Logan agrees, reaching down to the floor for his duffel bag. He pulls out some clean clothes, throwing them on.

Ellie quirks a brow when he pulls a Mar Vista Prep t-shirt over his broad shoulders. “Wouldn’t you never be able to live it down if you were photographed in that?”

“I definitely wouldn’t be able to show my face at graduation, but I love you more than I hate Mar Vista.” Logan quips, pulling her back into bed to get his kisses in before he has to worry about ruining her cheer makeup.

Riya arrives much too soon for Logan’s liking, using her key card to enter the room. “Alright, break it up you two. We can’t afford for Ellie to be sore before our big performance.” She insinuates with a grin.

...

Ellie stretches her quads as Mar Vista waits in the wings as Riverview High performs their routine. Ellie is unbelievably nervous. She can’t help but wish she started cheer earlier. Maybe she’d be feeling more confident if this wasn’t her first ever High School Nationals. 

She shakes out her arms, and tries to simultaneously shake out her nerves. Things went fairly well during practice, but now, staring out at the large crowd and watching other teams complete their routines flawlessly has Ellie a little bit in her head. 

She searches the crowd for Logan. Before she left for practice, he promised her he would be in the front row cheering her on. It takes her a few moments to spot him, standing with Darius in the front row on the left side. He laughs at something Darius says, and Ellie feels herself automatically calm down a little at the familiar sight of his bright smile. 

“Okay, Mar Vista, bring it in!” Ingrid yells, bringing Ellie’s attention back to the task at hand. All the cheerleaders put their hands into the circle. “Let’s bring it home, Mar Vista on three. One, two, three!”

“Mar Vista!” The squad choruses, lifting their arms. 

Ellie lets out a deep, calming breath. She’s got this. 

“And now coming out of Los Angeles, California, Mar Vista Prep!” The announcer introduces. The team walks out to polite applause from the audience, and fervent applause from the Mar Vista alternates, family members in attendance, and Logan and Darius. 

Ellie gets into her starting position, taking another deep breath before pasting on her cheer smile. She automatically looks to Logan, who smiles and winks at her. ‘You’ve got this.’ He mouths at her. Ellie’s smile becomes a little more authentic. 

Their routine starts with the cheer chants, the easiest required element for the competition. They shout loudly, and in sync, using their poms and signs as they cheer on the Mar Vista Bulldogs as if they’re at a game. 

The fast paced dynamic cheer music comes on as they transition to the dance and tumbling section. Ellie takes off across the stage, performing a round off into two back hand springs for momentum before throwing her full. She can feel her rotation is perfect in the air, and she lets out a quick sigh of relief when she lands on her feet and snaps upright, going right into the synchronized jump section. 

Ellie can see out of the corner of her eye that everyone’s toe touches and pikes look great. So far, so good. But now, it’s the part everyone is most worried about. The stunts and their big finale pyramid. 

Ellie cheer jogs over to her stunt group, placing her hands on Ingrid’s and Riya’s shoulders as they bend to brace her feet when she jumps. She crouches as they rotate so she’s facing the audience, and then back flips when they toss her in the air. 

She’s caught, and placed back to the floor. They immediately go into their next stunt, Ellie launching back into the air for a scorpion. Out of the corner of her eye, Ellie sees another stunt group’s bases having to take a couple of small steps to keep their stunt in the air, but she’s relieved to see them recover. 

Ellie spins, falling back into Riya’s and Ingrid’s arms. The squad tightens their formation for the final pyramid, and Ellie is placed back on the ground. Ingrid and Riya launch her back into the air for her next trick, and when she’s caught and lifted back up, Ingrid’s grip is absolutely terrible, but Ellie refuses to go down, over correcting in time for another cheerleader to fly overhead and for Ellie to catch her left foot like she’s supposed to. 

She releases her teammate’s foot, crouching as Riya and Ingrid carry her further back. “One, two, and up!” Riya counts out, and the bases launch Ellie over the middle of the pyramid. Ellie makes sure to smile brightly into the audience before she flips and is caught by another stunt group. 

Ellie winces when the catch is a little off, probably bruising her rib. But there’s no time to worry about that now. There’s just one more stunt standing between her and a perfect Nationals routine. 

She’s placed back down so she can jog back to Riya and Ingrid. “Whoo, let’s go Mar Vista!” Ingrid encourages. Everyone knows that if they can pull off this last move, the championship is all their’s due to their increased skill difficulty level.

 Ellie launches up into a bow and arrow, drops back into her bases’ hands as they scurry to the pyramid, gets into pyramid position, lifting her foot from Riya’s strong grip to perch on another airborne teammates thigh, and finally another flyer lands on her outstretched leg, Ellie gripping her firmly so she doesn’t fall. 

“Bulldogs!” They shout when the pyramid is complete. Ellie is finally able to breathe. Ellie looks out at Logan, who’s whooping and whistling loudly. And in that moment, everything is perfect. 

...

Mar Vista knew they won the moment that pyramid hit, but it’s still nice to hear it officially and be awarded a huge golden trophy, as well as individual gold medals. 

Ellie hops off the stage into Logan’s waiting arms, giggling when he spins her around. “You’re incredible.” Logan praises, capturing her lips and completely ruining the lipstick Riya had applied so painstakingly. 

“How does it feel to be dating a National Champion?” Ellie quips when they finally break apart for air. 

“Hmm...kind of indescribable troublemaker. Maybe next year you’ll get to find out.” He kisses her again, burying a hand into her hair so when he pulls away her bow is all askew. “So, what do you want to do next, champion?” He asks. 

Ellie smiles. “I’m going to Disney World!” 

...

A/N: Things I regret, attempting to write out that cheer routine, and then being too stubborn to cut it after all the googling I had to do. A mess. haha. 

taglist:  @choicesarehard @brightpinkpeppercorn @regina-and-happiness @drakexnadira @flyawayboo @fairydustandsarcasm @alesana45 @maxwellsquidsuit @god-save-the-keen @mrsmckenziesworld @paisleylovergirl @iplaydrake @sinclaire-made-me-sin @choicesgremlin @lovehugsandcandy @desireepow-1986 @blades-of-light-and-shadow @justdani14 @emceesynonymroll @emichelle @badchoicesposts @client-327 @riverrune @liamzigmichael4ever @princessstellaris​ @mskaneko​ @anxious-arliah @zaffrenotes​ @iam-ankita​ @ohsnapitzlovehacker​ @n-whas

#logan x mc #logan rod #choices fanfiction #ride or die

[b-mydarling]

[01] MASCARA

I am still dwelling in self pity over a break up with my super hot ex-boyfriend, Sehun when my best friend decided to give me a replacement mascara to make up for all the loss that I've had from crying over that jackass (as referred by Byun Baekhyun himself) for the past one week. It was a normal gift to be quite honest, but little did I know, that one normal gift is the thing that made me realize just how drop dead gorgeous my best friend is. And to Baekhyun, that three boxes of Fenty Beauty mascara are the same exact thing that have made him realized that even after years, he has never lost his feelings for me.

🍰   pairing: baekhyun x OC

🍰   characters: baekhyun, OC, sehun, yeri, irene

🍰   genre: what else if not FLUFF 😭

🍰   aus: university student! baekhyun, best friends to lovers.

🍰   contains:  Playing with makeup with some cute music as the bgm but   definitely not in this chapter :>

🍰   word count: 3K

― note: this is my first time cross-posting my fictional work on this platform. (I guess), posting this chapter will help me to understand Tumblr's algorithm better 😔✋ oh and fyi, the main idea of this oneshot was actually inspired by my dream 😭😭 Yes, I dreamt of Baekhyun in the midst of a pandemic and during an online semester like I’ve had nothing better to do :)

p/s: let me know if you want to be tagged for the next chapter.

Best friends.

That is the perfect term to describe and explain my relationship with Baekhyun. We used to live in the same apartment complex and his mother used to babysit me while my parents went to work. The babysitting lasted for almost six years (from when I was still a wee child at the age of 7 and until I turned 13) before his family moved to Incheon from Seoul. Even though we didn’t get to meet as often as we used to, our friendship is still intact and growing strong until now, when we are both a university students.

It was fun and easy being friends with Baekhyun. He may be older than me by two years, but I have never mind the fact because befriending Baekhyun was so, so much easier than befriending his little sister, Yeri. Although we are of the same age, I’m not close with Yeri because she used to think that my presence was a nuisance to her family; stealing her one and only brother from her, stealing her mom’s love and affection away from her, and she hated it when her dad brought back matching toys or playset for us to play together. And yes, of course we didn’t play together. To conclude my relationship with Yeri, we don’t hate or loathe each other but we have come to agree with the fact that we just don’t click with each other very well.

Presently, it is a Friday evening and I am laying on the couch at my family house’s living room. I am beat from living off from only few hours of sleep and a lot of coffee for the past two days because I was trying to perfect my assignment that holds 30% weightage for one of the subjects that I’m currently taking as a second year university student majoring in Beauty and Hairdressing studies. And now that I have submitted the assignment, it feels like all the burdens have been lifted from my shoulders and all that I want to do is sleep. I shift a few times on the long couch, trying to find a comfortable position to take a nap. I don’t want to sleep in my room just yet, afraid that my parents might forget to take the house key with them and I don’t hear their knockings if I sleep in my room. That, and I’m just too scared to sleep in my room knowing that I’m all alone in this house. It only feels like a few minutes have passed since I fell asleep before the incessant ringing of my phone wake me up. I grumble in my hazy state and reach for my phone on the coffee table.

“Hello?” I mutter into the phone without even looking at the caller id or even opening my eyes, sleep already calling back to me.

There’s a small chuckle coming from the other side of the line, the caller’s voice so deep and warm; alarming me about who he is. My lips automatically curl to form a smile just by hearing his velvet voice. There’s a few beat of silence before he starts to speak to me. “Did I wake you up from your nap?”

“Yes, yes you did.” I jokingly say with a pout while putting the call on speaker before I put my phone down to sit up from my laying position. “I’m so tired, Sehun. Mrs. Kwon has finally approved of my dreamy makeup look sketching after the fourth consultation. I’ve just submitted the assignment too. But anyway, why are you calling me? Are you done with labs?”

Sehun fakes a cry and says “My poor baby. But hey, at least you’re done with it now, right?” I hum, enjoying the comfort that my boyfriend is giving me. “And yes, I’m done with lab and my basketball practice too.” Sehun says with a teasing voice. “Can you come down for a while, princess? I need to talk to you about something.”

I look at the wall clock and frown. It’s nearly 7pm now and I’m too lazy to change out from my comfortable lounge wear. “Now?”

“Yes, now. I’m already waiting in front of your apartment complex.”

Still feeling lazy to change my clothes, I try my luck again. “Can you come upstairs then, Sehun? My parents are not home yet. They went out to have dinner with my father’s colleague.”

There’s another beat of silence coming from the other side of the line before Sehun sighs into his phone. I couldn’t decipher whether his sigh is rather affectionate or because he’s just tired from a long day at university. But I guess whatever that he’s going to talk to me about is pretty serious from the way he responds to my invitation.

“I can’t do that, baby. I need to tell you something without having to face the possibility of your parents walking in on us and disrupting our privacy. I’m also kinda in a rush to meet my friends later.”

I pout. “Okay, I’ll be down in a few minutes. See you, Sehun.” I say and after receiving a hum from him, I end the call while getting up from the couch and walk to my room to get change into something more appropriate to wear. I choose to wear Sehun’s grey hoodie that he has given me before and a legging. The hoodie is two times bigger than my own size so it’s really comfortable too. I grab my phone and lock the door before going down. Once I arrive down at the lobby, I can already see Sehun’s parked car a few metres from the apartment’s entrance. I walk closer to his Audi and knock softly on the window. Sehun is busy playing game on his phone that he gets startled by my soft knocking. He then unlocks his car and I get into the passenger seat next to him.

“Hi,” Sehun smiles at me and scans my face, his head tilting bit by bit the more he spends his time analyzing my countenance. Sehun then crinkles his nose. “Damn baby, you really look super exhausted. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s okay since I need to wait for my parents to come home too.” My reply is cut short because my mind is being clouded with the smell of freshly baked dessert in his car. I turn half of my body in Sehun’s direction before I turn my head to look at his back seat. I see that there’s a white transparent box of brownies from the bakery that I frequently go to and a big bouquet of my favourite red and pink roses. I turn my head back to look at Sehun and grin up at him. “Are those for me?”

Sehun grins back at me before he takes my hand into his big one. “Of course those are for my favourite girl. You can even share the brownies with your parents too.” His other hand stretches behind him to grab both the flower bouquet and the box of brownies before he places them in my lap.

“These are my present for you because you have been such an amazing girlfriend for me for the past six months. Now, let me talk about the thing that I have wanted to tell you.”

Sehun has broken up with me.

Before this, it only took him 15 minutes to gather his courage to express and explain his feelings for me and now, it only took him 10 minutes to tell me that he wants to break up with me. Because apparently, his basketball coach has strictly forbidden him and the rest of his teammates from dating to ensure that their performance will not be affected if anything were to happen to the relationship. It was an absurd reasoning, I know that. But how can I not agree when Sehun has reasoned with me so well. He is on a full basketball scholarship so he must give his very best to basketball and to his major studies too. So yes, I agreed to break things up with him (although a part of me is hoping that we could still work things out).

After I went back to my house, I just sat idly on the couch thinking about what have just happened. There are three thoughts that are currently running through my minds and I could not just brush away this three facts:

 My hot and athletic boyfriend has broken up with me.

 I still love him

Should I wait for the both of us to graduate so we can be together again? But that will take two more years.

My parents came home at half past nine in the evening with take-out food for me. I only thanked my parents and proceed to eat my dinner in silence before asking for their permission so that I can leave for my room first. I even told them that they can eat the brownies on the coffee table because I don’t feel like eating it. As a result, my parents got worried over me because they could sense that something is wrong with me and Sehun from looking at the abandoned bouquet of roses and the box of brownies on the coffee table.

Now that I’m all alone in my bedroom, the realization just hit me like a bullet train. I feel suffocated. I feel restless. I feel like there is nothing else that is worse than this breakup. But boy I was wrong, there is something that is even worse than this shitty feeling that I’m having right now.

Because at half past 10 pm, my phone gets bombarded with a lot of messages and screenshots from my close friends in university. And the content of the messages were all the same, two screenshots of Irene’s latest instagram stories with one of it being a picture of hers and a man’s legs on a bed, watching Netflix together and the other picture being the same exact white box of brownies and a bouquet of red and pink roses like what I have gotten earlier. The caption in the story was:

“First date. Thank you, my sweet boy @oohsehun”

And that was the exact moment when I feel like the world has crashed on me. I feel like I could not breathe with all this new information that I just get. I need to save my sanity and I need to see the person who understands me better than anyone else. I hurriedly change my clothes before telling my parents that I need to see that person because of an emergency. My parents allowed me to go out despite it being so late at night, partly because they’ve seen how shocked and restless I am, and partly because the person that I’m going out to see is my best friend.

Byun Baekhyun.

Baekhyun has just returned home from his daily night run when he saw me standing in front of his door. He was shocked, of course. Because I have never really went to his apartment without noticing him beforehand. But upon seeing my blood-drained face, he ushered me inside before he rushed through his shower so that he can talk to me. After he’s done showering, he brought me to sit across of him at the small dining table that’s just enough for two people. And when he was seated too, he only crossed his arms and placed them on table. He doesn’t open his mouth, but his eyes are demanding me to open up. And I was right because in the next second, Baekhyun is ready to be on his best friend’s duty.

“Okay, spill it now. Every single thing.”

“You know what? Just cry.”  

“Why are you asking me to cry?” I ask, annoyed that Baekhyun has been telling me the same thing ever since I was done telling him what happened. Baekhyun was also shocked to know just how much of an asshole Oh Sehun was. But he then said that I should have at least expected this since Sehun is a popular guy at university.

“Because,” Baekhyun uncrosses his arms on the table and leans back on the chair. He closes his eyes before continuing. “It’s not healthy for your mental health, you know? You don’t have to put on a strong facade in front of me. Acting like this when you’re hurting deep inside will only hurt you even more. I’ve seen you cry before. Multiple of times too, if I may add.”

I brush his words off and only stay silent. My eyes roam around his grey and red themed apartment, taking in the minimalistic interior of the house that belongs to the 24 year old man sitting across of me. He has a grey coloured two-seater sofa, his coffee table is full with his macbook, ipad, some of his still opened law text books, some documents and stationaries. His television that was originally brought from his family home is connected to the internet and his playstation 4 is still plugged into the television too.

When was the last time I visited his house? I couldn’t recall the memory but I know that it has been quite a while. Ever since I started dating Sehun, I only met Baekhyun at our university or anywhere else that is not his house because Baekhyun thought it was a little inappropriate for me to go to his house since I have a boyfriend. My little inspection of his house was interrupted after a short while when Baekhyun sighs a little loudly. I focus my eyes on him now and shrug my shoulder.

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Baekhyun asks. “I don���t want you to get anymore hurt by whatever that jackass is doing or about to be doing after this. I know how much you like him and how much you cherish the relationship that you’ve had with him. It’s completely normal to be hurting by this news and it’s definitely okay to cry too. Cry until your eyes get swollen, cry until you fall asleep and wake up feeling a lot better than tonight.”

I bite my inner cheek and shake my head. Although I admit that I am hurt deep inside, I refuse to cry. Not because I have too much pride in me but because of these mixed feelings bubbling inside. Hurt from being lied and cheated on by the person whom I thought I was going to have a long lasting relationship with. Confused because out of all people, I didn’t expect Sehun and Irene to be together. Irene was my seatmate and one of my assignment group mates throughout the whole of last semester where I had taken an elective subject not related to my major. Appalled because this would have not happened if I hadn’t asked Sehun to join our group celebration dinner for getting an A last semester.  These feelings just keep on brewing inside me and it was too much to comprehend, leaving me to not be able to even shed a tear.

“I don’t know, Baekhyun.” I say while standing up from the dining chair.“I thought I should tell you about this and feel better, but I still feel like I have just gotten hit by a car. I guess breakup really sucks.” I laugh soullessly. “Hey, do you mind if I crash here tonight? I’m too tired to drive again.” I don’t wait for Baekhyun to respond because I straight away walk to his couch, not realizing that Baekhyun has also stand up from his chair to follow me.

I’m only a few steps away from the couch when I feel a soft tug on my left hand, turning me around before I am being pulled into a bear hug. My eyes widen in shock because my best friend has never hugged me so closely and so tightly like this. But his embrace is just so perfect and warm and very much comforting that I can feel all these mixed emotions inside of me are swirling all over the place before I feel something triggering the most wanted reaction from me. And just like his warm embrace, my dams of tears exploded.

“I really like him, Baekhyun.” I say with tears streaming down my face. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything but lets me cry on his shoulder. I take a long time to stop crying and when I am slowly sniffling, that is when Baekhyun starts speaking.

“That wasn’t so hard, wasn’t it?” He asks while stroking my long hair. “You silly girl, you’ll feel a lot better after this. And oppa will make sure that jackass will regret doing what he did to you.”

#baekhyun #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun fanfic #exo #sehun #exo baekhyun #baekhyun fic #baekhyun imagine #byun baekhyun #baekhyun imagines #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun scenarios #baekhyun ff #baekhyun romance #exo fanfic #exo fluff #baekhyun au #baekhyun angst #exo scenarios #exosnet #exowritersnet #exo imagines

[tuffduff]

Life After You (Duff McKagan x Reader)

Pairing: angsty/fluffy Duff x Reader

Words: 4,733

A/N: Hey loves! This one actually isn’t a request, I was inspired by Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well” and actually didn’t intend for this to be so long, but it just came out. 

P A R T  T W O

Seattle had never been your home. You were not a born and raised native, never quite got used to the torrential downpours and overcast skies. In fact, you always waited for the day you would eventually move, figuring the setting to be just a minor stepping stone in your ultimate life story.

Until you met him.

It started in autumn, with falling leaves and brisk air. You had barely entered your twenties and the existential dread hadn’t yet set in; you were itching to find your niche and sense of belonging. Maybe that’s why you agreed to go with friends to some punk house to see a local band. The guys playing were interesting for lack of a better word, and you found yourself staring at the bassist. He was the tallest of the bunch with shaggy blonde hair and wandering eyes that kept finding their way back to you. You brushed it off though, thinking you were imagining it, until your friend leaned over and whispered, “the tall blonde one is checking you out.”

After the show, when the band began mingling with the small crowd, you wondered if he was going to come and introduce himself. That’s when someone hollered a warning for the cops and everyone scattered. You split out one of the backdoors, thankful that you lived just down the block.

“Hey! Wait up!” You slowed down in the alley, watching your breath in the air as the tall blonde ran to catch up to you. He had something in his hand; the scarf you had worn out and already forgotten about. It must have slipped off when you ran.

“Oh...thank you! You didn’t have to do that,” you replied, accepting the garment back. He shrugged a little, trying to keep eye contact but slightly faltering.

“I’ve never seen you around before.” He noted.

“Do you recognize every face around here?” You asked, unable to stop the smile from forming on your face. He smiled back.

“Only the pretty ones.” You weren’t expecting that. Nor the blush that crept to your cheeks. “I’d known if I had seen you before.”

“This is my first show. You were really great, by the way...?”

“Duff.” He replied, sticking his hand out. You took it with a smile.

“Y/N.”

“Do you live far?” He asked. For some reason, it wasn’t threatening. Some wall had already been broken from the beginning, when you both couldn’t stop staring.

“Down the block, thankfully. I should be able to make it home in about five minutes if I walk fast.” You replied.

“How about I walk you and we make it in 10?” He offered. You tilted your head.

“Why 10?”

“We’ll walk slow.”

That was exactly what happened. Ten minutes turned quickly to 15, and then 20, with the both of you talking outside your residence, both of you seemingly unwilling to let the night end. You were freezing beneath your coat but didn’t notice; Duff however was without a jacket and had his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

“Can I see you again?” He asked bluntly. You smiled.

“You know where to find me.” He smiled back.

“Cool. Okay. Have a goodnight, Y/N—” he had turned to start walking away, but you had grabbed onto his shoulder to stop him. Gently, you draped the scarf around his neck.

“I think you need this more than I do. Take good care of it, you hear?” You told him with feigned seriousness. His returning smile was one you would never get out of your mind. Even to this day.

And so it went you discovered real love. Maybe with other people, they didn’t quite realize it at the time, but with Duff, you just knew. He was your first love, and with him came a new stage in your life. There was life before Duff and now life with Duff.

Back then, you had been blissfully unaware that there would be life after too.

Days quickly turned to a weeks. Months passed; holidays were celebrated in a new fashion, always together. Him not having quite enough money for a Christmas present, so he wrote you a song and gifted you a necklace that had once belonged to his grandmother. There were never any arguments, the both of you couldn’t get enough of each other. You figured, in the back of your head, that it was infatuation and it would wear off soon, but for those months, neither of you could get your fill.

Somehow a year had flown by and you found yourself back in autumn again, a year under your belts as a couple without possibly being able to imagine being more in love. And yet, you found new ways to fall in love with him just about every day. The two of you moved in together, Duff working at a bakery and you doing your best juggling school and working at a record shop, where Duff would spent his free time.

He had a broad assortment of family members and friends and you had taken a spot amongst them. They all knew you too, they were now your friends. Duff’s mom had you over every other weekend and would bake pies with you, telling stories of growing up during the depression and what Duff was like as a child. The charming youngest, always creative and eager to perform his duty as a man, trying his best to look after his mom. “He’ll always do his best at taking care of you and succeeding, but I’m just glad he’s found someone to take care of his heart.” She would tell you.

Duff knew he could make real money moving up at the bakery he was at. After-all, he was a hard worker and his bosses appreciated that, and really, it wasn’t bad work. But he always talked about music; the both of you would stay up at night staring at the darkened ceiling sharing your hopes, your dreams, your past, your futures. Sometimes the ceiling would grow light as you stayed up talking. Your fears would come into conversation too, but those moments were fleeting; you were both young and ambitious and fueled by love, what in this life couldn’t be accomplished when you had that?

He talked too, in disdain and grief, about the state of his hometown, of the dangerous heroin use spiraling out of control, vowing he would never turn out like them. He said he was ready to get out, like you had always said.

But then you were offered a chance of a lifetime, an internship at the local radio station for your journalism degree. You couldn’t leave now, but Duff was already decided. It left you both at a fork in the road.

“I would never stop you. You’re right. The only way you’re gonna know if you can make it is away from here. I’ll be right behind you; I’m sure I can easily find work in LA after my internship.” You put on a strong face and decided to be his rock. You had to take care of his heart. After all, your love was the strongest thing you had ever experienced. If you were meant to be, it always would and you had no doubts whatsoever, even if it meant time apart.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll call you every day. You’ll have to visit when you have the chance, okay?” He took your scarf amongst the bare minimum of things packed away in his old car, and you waved goodbye with a smile and weird sense of displacement, but ultimately, you were hopeful.

Time somehow went faster and slower after he left. He did in fact call you every day, telling you about his new job working at the same restaurant with his brother. The shitty apartment he found and how he slept with cockroaches. “You wouldn’t last a day here, baby.” He teased you over the phone when you lamented your disgust. “Every night there’s helicopter lights outside my window. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow…” He kept your spirits high with his humor, even miles and miles away.

He told you all about meeting Slash and Steven, who were looking for a bass player for their band. He called you with a heavy heart often because he missed you, he called to hear your voice when he doubted himself. The excited phone calls were your favorite. His happiness was yours and it was beginning to sound like he might just have a chance in LA—not that you ever doubted it.

You answered every call at first, but as your semester went on, it got harder. Your phone calls grew scarce, but he still kept you updated. He mailed flowers to your house when you had your finals, somehow scrounging up money he had made from gigs with his new band, Guns ‘N Roses.

“The guys can’t wait to meet you, Y/N.” He told you over the phone and you would laugh listening to the group of guys yelling their hellos in the background. You had chatted with all of them at one point. They called you hotshot affectionately, impressed by the fact that you were actually obtaining a college degree.

Graduation came, but Duff didn’t. He had a gig the same night. But it wasn’t a big deal to you, his mom and sisters came. Duff called you as soon as the gig finished, and though you stayed on the phone for over an hour, you still cried yourself to sleep.

Aspiring for LA right out of the gates had been a naïve pipedream on your part. Duff had done it, but it was different for you. Turned out, it wasn’t the place where dreams came true, at least not for you. Work sent you across the country, all the way to Spartanburg, South Carolina, where you found work as a reporter.

“Someday when we’re actually making money, you won’t have to work anymore.” Duff would try to reassure you. To his credit, he helped you move despite his busy schedule that was only growing more demanding. “I’m gonna give you the life you deserve.”

“I don’t mind the work, if it weren’t here.” You told him, smiling. “Gotta get something out of this piece of paper though, right? I just…miss you.” You never knew missing someone could cause physically heartache.

“Believe me, babe, I miss you more. The guys are tired of hearing about it. But we’re gonna be together again soon, just wait. You can stick out here and you’re going to do amazing and soon, we’ll both be living in some nice place in LA.”

This was the point in your life where you were so busy you couldn’t keep your eyes open when you made it home at night. You had long hours, early hours, and it seemed your schedule and Duff’s schedule, or, lack thereof, never matched up. If he called, it was usually after midnight when you were sleeping. If you called back, it was early morning, when he was sleeping. Communication was exchanged more through voicemail than an actual call. You saved every one that he left you.

Guns N’ Roses gigs were now selling out all the local clubs. There was a record deal for his band, and then an album. You were climbing your own ladder too, and just when you finally had the opportunity to work out of LA for a promising up-and-coming music magazine, Duff was about to be taken away, on tour. You only had about a week together in LA when you made it. But what a week it was.

“Every day you weren’t here, I would wake up and the sun would be out and the first thing I would think is ‘Y/N is gonna love it here.’” He told you as you drove down Sunset Boulevard. He had an actual car now to his name and new clothes and you had never been attracted to him more in your life. The both of you spent at least a day marveling over one another’s new appearances.

“God, I can’t believe I get to call you mine. You just look different,” he told you while stopped at a stoplight. He couldn’t take his eyes away from you, traveling up and down in disbelief, shaking his head slightly. “How is it possible that you’ve gotten more beautiful?” His smiled, you told yourself to remember the moment, to take in the warm glow of the sun and crowds of people on the street, Guns N’ Roses on the radio as you drove, palm trees over your head. You were in bliss. At least, most of the time.

Love was just as you had remembered it. That reunited week was like heaven for your tired soul; you had grown used to an empty bed and now you still couldn’t catch up on sleep, the two of you wasting each night tangled in limbs and sheets, still unable to get enough of each other. He showed you his favorite parts of the Sunset nightlife, some of which you didn’t have the heart to tell him you disliked; the shady Mexican restaurant where patrons were getting blowjobs under the table, or the various clubs they had played and conquered, where bar-goers puked outside the doors and went back in for more.

The rest of Guns N’ Roses were as authentic as Duff and they were easy to appreciate and get along with. They never made you feel like an outsider, even when that was plainly obvious—you didn’t dress like the girls on the strip and you never let it bother you, you were simply being you and that was enough.

Though you and Duff still had endless conversation to share, you couldn’t help but notice a difference, one glaringly obvious one; he drank more than he ever had before. It would start with vodka out of the gates and never seemed to stop. You were the only one left to carry him home, sober and still living in the real world.

“Baby, maybe you should slow down on the drinking.” You tried to tell him before he left for tour.

“Hey—don’t worry about me, okay, beautiful?” He breezed off your words with a kiss goodbye and a smile. “Take care of yourself and don’t miss me too much.”

This time, time went even faster. The magazine was in high-demand and you had several assignments seemingly all at the same time, ever moment of every day. You even had the pleasure of covering Guns N’ Roses as they became one of the hottest bands in the world. It seemed everywhere you went, all you ever saw were guys dressed like Duff, or Duff’s face on the cover of a magazine. On MTV, sometimes the news. Now, everything felt surreal.

This is where things get blurry; you don’t spend too much time in this period of your memories. Why would you? The drunk phone calls. Lonely nights in LA. The nasty rumors. Any time you were reunited, all you could smell was liquor. To this day, the smell made your stomach drop.

“Duff, I’m serous. I’m not asking you anymore, I’m telling you; you drink too much.” You were forced to put your foot down during a rare time of being reunited.

“Y/N, ease up. It’s not that big of deal, that’s what we do.”

“Since when?” You questioned. “How many times did we talk about old friends back home, how many of them took it too far?”

“I’m not like them.” He snapped back. “I don’t depend on drinking, or coke, or anything—I’ve only done heroin one time!” This was the first of many times his addiction finally began cracking away at your heart. You couldn’t fathom that he didn’t see an issue in his words.

“Duff, you said you never would.”

“So what, it was one time, Y/N! It’s not like I’m addicted, get off my back.” No, these were not the conversations you spent your time thinking of.

It began a long battle in your relationship that you were both destined to lose, and also became an internal battle to yourself. Maybe you had it all wrong, after-all, it wasn’t as if you didn’t indulge in drinking every now and then too, the both of you were young, it was LA—what was the harm? You tried desperately to see it from his point, he was a Rockstar, he did have an image to maintain…but that never held up in your head rationally; this wasn’t your Duff. He didn’t give a fuck about an image. But was it your place to police him? Often times, you just felt like the lame girlfriend. You started keeping your mouth shut despite your growing alarm and aching heart.

Too quickly, it turned to recklessness, then even quicker to hopelessness. To the rest of the world, Guns was still the band that was gonna take over the 90s. They were on one of the longest rock tours in history, they had a double album out, but you knew better. They had already lost members; you had written the articles about Steven and then Izzy’s departures. You sometimes wondered at night if Duff would be next.

He hadn’t even been there to help you move into the new house the two of you bought together. It felt as empty as your relationship and you wondered why you stayed, only to have the question answered every time you looked back into his eyes. Would you ever not love this man?

“I’m gonna fix it, I swear. I just—there’s nothing I can do. Axl’s always late and so we just—we drink. And, I can’t help it, Y/N, you know those panic attacks I always used to get? It’s not like you’re with me anymore and I just get them all the fucking time. I can’t fly without drinking; it just sets me off. I can’t take all the shit, when we’re late to the stage all you can hear is the crowd getting angry...” you knew all about that; you had written an article about the Riverport Riot. At this point you were tired of writing about the latest of the controversial rumors and incidents.

It wasn’t as if his words didn’t break your heart. You were at a complete loss. Rationally, you knew he had a disease that you had to fight together, but it only resulted in the both of you screaming at each other. Duff wasn’t at a place where he wanted to change, that was what made it hard.

At first, you avoided the realization, you tried running from it. When friends asked, you always said your relationship was better than ever. But the worse his issues got, the more you were pushed to confront them. It was just drinking anymore, it was pills and cocaine and whatever else just happened to be in the room, whatever someone slipped him.

Ultimatums weren’t your thing; you were never going to beg someone to prove you were important. Plus, you had seen addictions cripple people. Duff was in its vice grip and had already slipped away from you, it was very obvious what you had to do. But how? How could you, he was your soulmate. This was still the boy who had walked you home that autumn night—he was all you knew. How do you unravel yourself from someone tied so intricately to every detail of your life?

You couldn’t tell him at first, you just packed up and left. You ran. It was a while before he called you, demanding to know what was going on. To date, it’s still your most humiliating phone call. It’s not a memory you revisit, ever, and you’re not sure if it’s because of the pain of it or the embarrassment—you had cried so hard you couldn’t work the next day.

For a while, you felt empty. Lost. You would cry at stoplights. You would cry at lunch, in the grocery store passing by his favorite chips. The radio was much too risky to ever bother with, if it wasn’t one of their songs coming through the speaker, it was his favorite Prince song, or a song tied to a memory.

The youth of your twenties faded that day and you were pushed into the next period of your life reluctantly, your steps sluggish and uncertain. It was autumn again, cozy months where people spent their time with loved ones. You spent it crying over the idea of Thanksgiving alone, unable to pull out any Christmas decorations or pretend to care about any semblance of a normal life; all of this was new again and still littered with the broken promises of something you thought you would never lose. How were you ever going to decorate a tree again when he wasn’t there to put you on top of his shoulders to place the star? Who was going to make snickerdoodle and gingerbread cookies by your side? His jackets and shirts made up half your wardrobe, his fingerprint on your life was almost entirely irreversible.

It wasn’t as though he gave up on you. Sometimes he would call. At first you always answered, frantic and hopeful.

“I stopped drinking,” he told you, but had a slurred speech.

“Then why are you drunk?” You questioned, already on the verge of tears.

“I’m not drunk,” he denied your words. “I haven’t drank vodka in a week.”

“Then what are you drinking?” You were aware of how stupid you sounded, playing along, but couldn’t stop the hope you felt.

“Wine. It’s not bad,” he insisted. “I stopped drinking for you, why aren’t you happy? Y/N…C’mon, please, I promise I’m better now, I just miss you—” You hung up. That night was a bad one.

Looking back, maybe there were more bad memories than good. It wasn’t as if you were unbiased. But maybe the good outweighed the bad by importance. Duff had shaped your life, the foundation of who you were. When you thought of love, you thought of him, and gave up the concept.

Now, just barely entering your thirties, you found yourself surprised to be back in Seattle. Maybe deep down you were still chasing after the best time of your life. It probably wasn’t healthy to let your mind wander backwards, but it did, every time you took certain roads. Sometimes you avoided them, but most of the time, you drove down the tree-lined roads, remembering when it had been the two of you. Back to a time when you thought you hated the rain and couldn’t wait to get out of it; now rain brought you peace.

Life was much more peaceful now. You worked as a freelance writer and genuinely enjoyed the topics you wrote about, thankful not to have to write another Guns N’ Roses article. It wasn’t like there was much to write about anyways in that category; there were rumors the band was on the brink of breaking up. It was still lonely, but the pain had subsided. You were okay with being alone and you were smart enough to fill your time with meaningful activities.

You never lost contact with Duff’s family. His mom finally stopped trying to apologize. You did your best not to consume your waking hours following the band, trying your best to force yourself into moving on entirely. Duff had released a solo album, and though your heart still swelled with pride, you couldn’t listen to it. There were rumors a lot of the songs were about you.

Nowadays, the reminders of him were scarce. He looked to be in rough shape, but you did your best not to let it bother you; that wasn’t your battle. You stopped crying and you had developed your own routine. Routine was important. Your house was decorated the way you wanted it and you had a dog, an affectionate brown Labrador. Now, you considered this place home and had favorite spots and local shops you spent time at, and yes, some of them were places the two of you had once frequented, but the reminder didn’t hurt anymore. The hurt was still there, if you pulled everything back and looked down within, but mainly, there was an appreciation for what once had been. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

It was clear that wasn’t the case when you left your favorite coffee shop one Sunday afternoon and spotted a familiar face across the parking lot. At first, you thought your eyes were deceiving you—his hair had been long for years. This man no longer looked puffy and fatigued like you had seen in pictures, he was leaner and had short spiky hair. More importantly though, his eyes were clear. That was when you were sure you must have been dreaming.

“Y/N?” He said, his voice unsteady, but somehow still sounded the same. Your coffee tumbled to the ground and he reached out too late. “Shit. Sorry, I...” he trailed off helplessly; you hadn’t even looked down at the spill once yet.

“Duff?” You asked, waiting for wake up from this weird dream. He stood a little bit back from you.

“You still come here, huh?” He asked after a moment, trying to smile. When you didn’t reply, he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I heard you moved back. I didn’t really believe it at first, but I guess...I bought a house here too.” you didn’t reply still, no words could come out. He shoved his hands into his pockets and you could feel your eyes watering. “How have you been?”

“Good. Fine, yeah.” You replied quietly, somehow able to keep the moisture in your eyes. “I’m surprised your home and not on the road for your album.” Maybe you had paid more attention than you realized. He looked down.

“...Yeah. Um,” he chuckled uncomfortably. “I actually canceled a lot of the days earlier this year, I was exhausted. I thought maybe coming back home would be better for me...I...” he paused before he shook his head a little and let out a breath. “It’s been...a real eye opening few months.”

For a second, your heart pounded hopefully and you wondered desperately what that meant, before you told yourself to stop.

“To be honest, I’m in a hurry, so...I should probably get going.” Your tone was suddenly curt, sharp and brisk as the autumn air; the falling leaves behind you threatened to break your composed façade; it was all taking you back to a different time and you knew you needed to leave. Duff suddenly looked apologetic.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, uh...” he shrugged. “Um...I just. I know you’re busy and everything, but...maybe, just...” every time he met your eyes, he looked away again. You bit your lip hard.

“Yeah, I don’t have a lot of free time nowadays. I’m sure you get it.” You forced out. He nodded, looking down and backing away from your car.

“...Yeah. Well...take care.” He ended lamely. The longer you looked, the more it was apparent his eyes were actually clear. “And I just…I hope you know I’m sorry.” You swallowed hard and turned away without another word to get into your car and seal yourself away. Inside, you could finally let yourself crumble, feeling the mixture of a pounding heart and butterflies quickly crumbling and falling in your stomach, your hands shaking as you tried to get the key into the ignition.

Realizing in panic maybe you had made a mistake, you quickly turned your head to find him again, but only caught a brief glance of him before he entered the shop, and that’s when it caught your eye.

The red fabric around his neck, nestled into the leather jacket he had on.

Your old scarf, still there, the lasting image of you on him.

You weren’t the only one struggling with accepting the loss of the only real thing you had ever felt in your life, but it wasn’t enough to move you from your car. So you sat, engine idling, until finally tears that had started as a stream turned to just a few stray drops. But it took you longer than 5 minutes, longer than 10, to finally drive away.

#duff mckagan #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan fanfiction #duff mckagan x reader #duff mckagan fanfic #guns n roses #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses fanfic #80s imagines #gnr #gnr fanfiction

[recentanimenews]

Those Snow White Notes – 01 (First Impressions) – Challenge Issued

AOTS Alert. Repeat, we have an Early AOTS Alert. Those Snow White Notes is an absolute joy to experience from beginning to end. Its absolute banger of a first episode tells a story of inspiration, loss, loneliness, listlessness, self-worth and self-actualization, jealousy, love, and much more—so much it feels like a little self-contained mini-film.

Oh yeah, did I mention it centers around a shamisen player, so the show’s music is supervised by The Yoshida Brothers, in addition to being directed by the fellow who not only gave us the tone-setting first episode of Rakugo Shinjuu, but both seasons of the excellent Master Teaser Takagi-san, of all things? We’re clearly dealing with some talented folks, so it’s amazing it doesn’t feel nearly as pretentious as it should.

A lot of that has to do with how simply and how efficiently the story is laid out and how easily it is to slide into the lives it follows. We start with Sawamura Setsu and his big brother Wakana listening through a cracked door as their grandfather plays to a transfixed crowd. An aside: I’m probably not alone when I say the sound of a well-played shamisen activates my sense of musical awe in addition to my ASMR, resulting in persistent goosebumps every time I hear it…or even think of it!

That said, as soon as the sweet music is over, the warm scene is replaced by a face-slap of a bitter winter scene, in which the Setsu is leaving home. When his gramps died, his “sound” disappeared too, so he’s going “somewhere loud” in hopes he can get it back. He doesn’t know if Tokyo is that place, but he knows he can’t stay home, saying “there’s nothing here anymore.”

We’re only two minutes in, and we’ve already learned so much while being treated to what is the first but hardly the least shamisen number. (It’s also clear I’m going to end up writing way too many words in this review! If only we had an editor around here…)

SWN’s next efficient-yet-effective character portrait is of Tachiki Yuna, an actress/model who is paying the bills with a hostess club job, having to keep smiling and pretending to be happy to be there even after her agency notifies her that she was passed over for a role. After her shift she’s encouraged by her boyfriend Taketo’s texts, and she considers herself fortunate to “have a man who’s talented.”

Yuna happens to be in the bustling streets of Roppongi when Setsu literally bumps into her after getting temporarily dazed by the sheer brightness of the city lights. The two part ways, but Setsu immediately bumps into some less savory characters who start to beat on him. It’s here we learn that Yuna has a heart of gold, as she comes to the Setsu’s rescue with some karate kicks.

After dreaming about his grandfather essentially telling him to stop playing the shamisen if he dies, Setsu wakes up in girly pajamas in Yuna’s cozy apartment, and she cooks the two of them breakfast. Setsu learns that Yuna is a 22-year-old gravure model. Yuna learns Setsu is a Tsugaru shamisen player, but he can’t play for her because he’s “empty inside”, which just happens to be how she’s been feeling lately.

When Wakana hears from Setsu in a letter, he assumes his little brother just went to Tokyo to get laid. But seeing in Setsu a kind of kindred soul, she proposes he continue living with her and doing the housework until he can get his sound back. Before long, a week passes, the longest he’s ever gone without playing since first picking up a shamisen.

Yuna takes Setsu to a restaurant to meet her great and talented boyfriend Taketo along with his band, and Taketo is revealed to be a preening, self-involved jackass who is far beneath Yuna. Setsu intervenes when he sees Taketo trying to extract some serious cash from Yuna to pay for studio he’s renting. He then tells her he’ll be too busy writing music to hang out later that night.

When Yuna and a bandmate have to hold Taketo back, Setsu peaces out, running through the crush of people and noting just how much noisier Tokyo was than a bumpkin like him could have imagined. He gets caught up on a word his gramps used about his sound—”disgraceful”—not because Setsu sucked at shamisen, but because all he ever did was imitate his gramps.

But right here and now Setsu is mad and wants to express it. He wants to play. So he sits down beside the river and plays. Yuna happens to pass by as he’s starting to play, and while he’d later describe the performance as rough and ugly due to the rust of a mere week, but Yuna and I become entranced.

As someone who can only understand between 1-10% of any given spoken Japanese sentence, the language itself is a kind of music, although I know enough words and phrases to know that it isn’t, so it remains separate from the real thing. But pure music like Setsu’s strumming transcends words as it expresses emotions, ideas, and memories of both player and listener.

In Yuna’s case, she’s transported back to her meeting with her agent, who was trying to get her to audition for racier movies and TV. Rightfully insulted by the insinuation she’s nothing but a pretty face and body, she throws a glass of water in his face, and is warned that she won’t go far if she turns such jobs down.

In the midst of listening to Setsu’s raw and angry performance, Yuna takes comfort in knowing even if her career doesn’t amount to anything, at least she has a good man in Taketo. She stops by the good man’s place to find him with having slept with some other woman, to whom she says “you can have him” and leaves as Setsu’s piece comes to a bitter, final note.

When Setsu comes home, Yuna is still awake, and tells him she heard his music. When she did, she realized they’re not alike at all. Setsu isn’t a “sad person with nothing going” for him like she is, and so she can’t help but feel jealous of him. She says she’ll be going away for a while, and asks him to vacate her apartment while she’s gone.

Another day, Setsu encounters Taketo on the street, who is preparing for a concert with his band. Taketo decides to use Setsu as a hostage, telling Yuna he’ll break his arm if she doesn’t show up. For this shitbaggery, Taketo is promptly punished with a Karma Kick from Yuna, coming to Setsu’s rescue once more.

She apologizes for involving Setsu in her drama, but with the wind kicked out of Taketo, she needs to ask for him to be involved a little bit longer. They need someone to go out there and entertain the crowd until the scumbag recovers. Just like that, Setsu finally gets a stage and a crowd on which to test whether he can get his lost sound back. Three guesses as to whether he manages this.

The ensuing powerhouse of a performance by Setsu calls to mind the best music scenes of Your Lie in April, only in this case the crowd was expecting a rock band, not a Tsugaru shamisen player. As he nervously tells the initially confused crowd, he plays “Jongara Bushi”, and as he does, he recalls in black-and-white memories what his grandfather had to say about the peice.

Gramps described the beginning as passionate and hot-blooded, but it starts to calm, grow progressively sadder and heartrending, weakening and waning. He’s basically describing a life. But, unlike a fiery youth who calms down in middle age and eventually withers and passes away, “Jongara” claws its way back, refusing to be beaten down, issues a challenge with its final furious crescendo.

The crowd watches in dead silence, just as Yuna did, and you can’t help but think of what is flashing through their heads while they listen; while they’re being taken on this roller coaster ride of powerful emotions. Just like April, the stage lights illuminate dust motes to give the simultaneous appearance of snow and magical sparkles. Setsu is casting a spell on everyone in that hall with his sound, and not even Taketo can deny its power.

Not only that, but the performance is being live-streamed on the internet, where even if it doesn’t go viral, it’s being watched from home by someone Setsu is sure to meet at some point; perhaps someone who like him has been around shamisen music enough to know that by their standards his performance was just okay. But I’m with Yuna, Taketo, and rest of the crowd: that was fucking awesome.

Also awesome? Yuna doesn’t take Taketo back. They’re done, and he knows he “lost himself a good woman”, even if Yuna would argue that she’s good at anything. Also, while I’m sad to see her go, Yuna does go on her trip to find her…well, not sound, but I guess to find what it is she can contribute to the world and feel good about it. Modeling and porn were decidedly not those things, but I hope the show won’t lose sight of her journey.

Setsu continues to live in her apartment after she leaves, but Taketo tends to come by a lot, so it’s clear that while he’s an asshole, he and Setsu will probably continue to interact with each other, if not outright befriend each other. While Setsu has the kettle on, he recalls walking Yuna to the train station, gives him a kiss before pushing him away and boarding the train with a final wave goodbye. Assuring him that whatever girl he ends up with “will be very happy”.

Back at her apartment, Taketo says that Setsu seems most alive when he’s playing, but if the shamisen is what gives him life, then sooner or later that world will “drag him in.” Taketo is hitting the nail on the head when their talk is abruptly interrupted by the most ridiculous occurrence in the episode: on the snap of a woman’s fingers, the door to Yuna’s apartment is forced open, a smoke bomb goes off, and two SWAT officers flank a glamorous woman with silver hair, blue eyes, and an April O’Neil jacket.

She’s here for Setsu, whom she calls “Baby-chan”, and Setsu calls her Umeko, but I know from the initial description of the show that this is his mom…who it’s immediately clear is a lot. Looks like however much of his sound Setsu believes he’s found in Tokyo, Umeko will have an unnegotiable say in his life…at least as long as he’s still a kid!

By: sesameacrylic

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

[dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog]

Welcome to the Universe (Jammy) - The Final Chapter:  “The end of the beginning”

We hope this piece gives a little deserved closure to our beloved Jammy and where they are now. Sammy has a few surprises in store, familiar faces and old friends paying a visit! Thanks for reading and all the support. x T&C 

**Welcome to the Universe

Epilogue:  “The end of the beginning”**

“Dear Diary, where to begin? 10 years ago I was given the unique opportunity to work with a talented band and travel the world. How can I put into words all the experiences and emotions I've gathered through the years? I've started this journey with you all on April 9th 2010 when I was 25 years old, I was engaged at the time, with a long-term vision of the life path I was supposed to follow. Until a certain rock band crossed my path and, changed my entire life for the better.

During my life on the road I love meeting up with each and every one of you. I was embraced right from the start, welcomed straight into the warm yet crazy dysfunctional family also known as The Echelon. I'm forever grateful for all you have done for me and how you entrust me with your stories, now it’s our time to give you a rare insight in ours. It’s been a while since our last interaction, and a lot has happened. Life is not what you expect, it’s made up of the most unexpected twists and turns.

April, 2011 Cussing underneath my breath I slam through the doors leading into the venue’s foyer, crowded with fans still buzzing on their concert high. Hitting speed dial again I bring my phone to my ear while making my way across the venue.  Rounding the corner I smack into a fan at high speed, making us both bounce back. Picking up her bag, her piercing blue eyes meet mine, midnight black hair pulled back into a pony tail “oh god, I’m so sorry” I exclaim “It’s okay” she assures me with a smile. “Nice tattoo!” I say pointing out the Mithra tattoo on her upper left arm, peeking from underneath her slipped cardigan. “Thanks” a cramped smile forms her plum tinted lips while shrugging her cardigan back on her shoulders. Continuing my sprint I can’t help but ponder she looks familiar. “I’m sorry I’m late” I gush out of breath breaking through the doors finally reaching their dressing room. Shannon throws a bottle of water my way which I eagerly accept and take a big gulp. “Can’t believe you haven’t broken an ankle wearing those killer heels around the arena.” Tomo laughs. Tugging the hem of my shirt dress I fake a bow. “We need to get to the meet and Greet” I point out matter of factly “You’re actually late” Jared eyes me as it trails from my lips “Isn’t that going to be your fault?” Pulling up a brow I hurl the water bottle back at Shannon who’s started laughing at the remark. Throwing me a kissy face Jared passes me with a slap on the ass. “Instead of throwing a fit, we should go, we don’t want to be even more late.” “Oh you-” slapping him across the back I roll my eyes and lead them to the meet and greet lodge. Luckily the fans were still all excited to meet the guys despite the delay. Shannon instantly turned into a goof spreading himself out on the floor while Jared started telling tales. Since time was cut shorter they quickly start their picture moment. I smile noticing the little boy that caught one of Shannon’s drumsticks. “Oh seems like you’re taking home a treasure from this gig” blushing he nods his head “Can I take a picture of you holding it out in victory?” glancing up in excitement he seeks approval of his father. “Sure” the young man squeezes the kids shoulder and I quickly snap his picture as it soon is his turn to have his picture taken with the guys. Obviously Shannon notices he’s caught one of his sticks and picks the boy up planting him up on his shoulders striking a triumph pose. I laugh at the display and shake my head. Jared high fives the boy and watches as he jolts to his father beaming with joy. As his eyes cross those of his father I notice Jared tense up, looking startled. His gaze wonders to Shannon next to him, who’s busy admiring a trinity skull seal tattoo on a girl’s neck. It takes a split second and he composes himself quickly. When the meet and greet is over Jared slips from the room immediately “Jared” I walk after him but he keeps on walking “Hey” grabbing his arm he stops and looks at me “What is going on? Earlier you looked like you’d seen a ghost?” wiping his brow he sighs deeply “I’m sorry Sammy, I’ve got some unfinished business I need to attend, I won’t be long.” Sucking my lower lip between his he kisses me short but deeply. “be back soon.” And without further explanation he marches off. Deciding to skip the party for one of the crew’s birthday I head to the busses and start my draft for tonight’s entry for the tour diary. “I can’t believe you kept this from me. From us.” Jared’s voice is tense as I hear the bus door open. I hear him fling his phone across the bus and hiss a curse. “Jared?” startled he turns around, obviously not having expected someone to be on the bus. “Is everything alright?” I arch a brow as he pulls me close. A deep groan escaping his lips. Lacing my arms around his waist he captures my lips in a wet and greedy kiss. "yes, knowing we’re alone on this bus, everything seems perfect" he grins, extracting a soft giggle from my lips as his hands slip underneath my oversized shirt dress cupping and squeezes my ass.  Tangling his fingers through my messy locks I chuckle resting my hands on his damp chest. Scrunching his nose his fingers start unbuttoning the shirt to cup my boobs firmly while stealing a kiss. “Let’s take advantage of this alone time" smacking my ass once more he pulls away and hurls me over his shoulder stalking me upstairs.

I nervously twirl my lanyard between my fingers making Shannon laugh while I walk off the stage. “Such a fangirl” he nudges my arm with a grin as I  just announced ‘Best Female’ at the MTV Video music awards. “I think I’m gonna be sick” I mumble turning around holding my hand against my mouth as I dry heave “You’re adorable, shouldn’t have had those dumplings before the show!” he laughs handing me his water bottle for a sip. As the next performer is announced we head to the side of the stage. “I’m very curious about this act, apparently there’s a mystery guest.” Shannon comes to stand next to me crossing his arms and huffs “Eminem is legendary, he doesn’t need a guest.” he says as the light dims and the venue goes dark. A white beam illuminates a piano, sat at it a busty blonde wearing a sparkling silver and black leather bodysuit with plunging neckline, fishnet stockings and leather knee-high stilettos. * ‘On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil - I don't know why I'm still surprised’ Finishing the first verse she pauses for a minute ‘Even angels have their wicked schemes, And you take that to new extremes. But you'll always be my hero, even though you've lost your mind.” Whipping her blonde locks from her face she gets up from the piano and walks across the stage. It is then that I recognize her tattoo’s, more precisely the Mithra one on her upper arm. “hey I think she was at a gig” I mumble enthusiastic turning to Shannon who’s gone pale observing the scene in front of him. * “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well that's alright because I like the way it hurts” “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” Shannon curses under a breath. “Did you know about this!?” he asks with a fixed stare. “Know what?” I ask confused pulling my vibrating phone from my pocket, taking note of Jared’s name and answer it backing away to a quieter spot while the song erupts as Eminem joins her on stage. * ‘Hush baby, speak softly, tell me I'll be sorry. - That you pushed me into the coffee table last night,So I can push you off me - Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me’ “Is Shannon with you?” his voice is tense and edged “Yes, why?” as the song peaks its finale and the arena falls dark. Shannon stalks over to me and without any explanation yanks my all access badge from the back pocket of my blazer dress “What the fuck Shannon” I sneer at him grasping hold of his arm but he shrugs out of my grip. “Sammy. Don’t.” he hisses, eyes blazing like I’ve never seen them before. Ending my call to Jared without explanation I run a hand through my hair and stalk after Shannon through the catacombs of the venue. Finding him stood in front of a backstage dressing room he looks lost, hurt and most of all confused. Drawing in a deep breath I compose myself, steadying myself with the palm of my hand against the door and hold my finger out at Shannon who turns to me. After a few seconds and without granting him a word I slap him hard across the cheek, yanking my lanyard from his hand. “Shannon what the fuck.” I demand an explanation. Right in that moment the door opens and a young guy stares me right in the face, the look in his eyes reading like a deer caught in headlights as his eyes fall upon Shannon. I remember him, long blonde locks tousled into a messy man bun, two impressive full sleeves across his muscled arms. He was at the meet and greet a few weeks back. Behind him the girl that just took the stage sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands.  “Kristie.” Shannon breathes, his voice broken. Her head shoots up hearing her name, teary eyes connecting with his. Pulling the blonde wig from her head she reveals her dark locks. The young guy places his palm against Shannon’s chest “Can we talk for a minute?” Shannon huffs eying him, not impressed as he pushes past him. Kristie sighs “Alec, it’s okay.” I stumble a little to the left as an energetic boy runs past me towards her. “Mommy don’t cry, you were amazing!” Jumping onto her lap the boy smothers her with kisses and wipes her tears. She smiles and runs her hand through his hair “Oh my number one fan!” Planting a kiss on his lips she motions Alec who in responds takes the little boy’s hand and moves outside to watch the live feed. “You fucking ghosted me Kristie” Shannon walks over to her looking defeated “I know- i’m sorry” she sighs deeply standing up, a painful look on her face “Sorry!? Thats all you’ve got to say?” grabbing her arm firmly he shakes her and pushes her against the wall “SHANNON.” I bark at him marching over and push him off her. I never encountered this side of him before and to be honest, it scared me a little. She sighs deeply burying her face in her hands “What did you expect Shannon?” her voice is but a whisper as she wipes her tears and sits down on the couch. “The night we had our fight, I hated you, I hated myself, I… I was ready to take my own life.” She takes a gulp from her bottle of water. Shannon sighs, uncomfortably fidgeting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Kristie I regret every word I said that night. I...” he shakes his head. She looks up, regret touching her eyes as they meet his. “This thing we had, it was unhealthy, it was violent, abusive, sex-driven...”she falls silent and a soft laugh escapes her lips as she rolls her eyes “We fucking loved it, shit , there’s even proof of that.” My eyes grow wide as realization sinks in, the kinky tape. It’s her.  “Shannon, I don’t regret us… I regret what we became..” She shakes her head softly, her eyes closed and exhales a breath “But I don’t regret the decision I made after recovering from the overdose”  nervously she rubs the palms of her hands together and rethinks her words. “Our beautiful mistake, my biggest blessing” her eyes wonder up to find the little boy roaming the halls. It takes a split second for Shannon to register her confession as he goes pale. Jared bursts through the door, eyes scanning the situation in the room, a breath leaving his lips as his eyes land upon Kristie. Shannon looks broken and defeated and silence falls upon the room “You told me she lost the baby” he hisses at Jared. “I needed a stable and safe environment, not only for my sake but most importantly my child’s sake.” “Kristina why did you cut us out of your life, we could have h-” Jared asks but she interupts him “I’m not proud of my lies.” She shakes her head while Shannon paces around “I loved you Shannon. I still do…” Getting up from the couch she walks over to him, touching his shoulder “I’m sorry” A flash of anger washes over his face as he turns to face her. His composure tells me he’s doing all he can to hold himself together. “So why now then, after all those years? He’s five. You need a famous daddy to milk?” A sour smile touches her lips as she pops several pills to her lips and swallows them with a gulp. Crossing his arms Shannon cocks his head unapprovingly “I want to learn from my mistakes. I know we’ve both changed...” “And you’re forgetting to mention you’re sick.” Jared crosses his arms. “Ah yes, demons from my past have come to haunt me. I’m enjoying my little fucked up party for as long as I still can” She falls silent and shrug “I’ve got no one but myself to blame for this mess.” “Fuck Kris.” Shannon swallows hard “You should have told me sooner” She tilts her head tucking a strand of hair behind her ear “I know. Can we- can we start over? Learn from our mistakes? For our son’s sake? I know I’m asking a-lot and this is overwhelming... But he’s been asking questions about his father lately..” Shannon swallows hard as she touches his arm “Please, I’m not expecting nor demanding you to take up your responsibilities as a father. I just want him to get to know you.” cupping his cheek Kristie presses her lips soft yet passionate against his. Shannon gazes into her eyes with tears of his own and whispers an apology brushing his finger along her lower lip before pulling her in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry things when the way they did” he whispers and swallows hard as Alec walks in with the boy. Placing her finger on his lip she silences him. “Let’s look at the future now, the past is behind us. Let’s make better mistakes from now on.” He nods and she motions towards the boy. “Shannon, this is Ryder.” It is then that I match the little puzzle in my head. Alec and Ryder were at the meet and greet, Shannon had already met his son without even realizing it.  

There are two sides to every story and you need to hear both to know all the facts. We may not always agree or like what we discover. Some secrets are deep and sometimes they are filled with regret. Shannon’s relationship with Kara had to endure a few storms dealing with the revelation of his son and rekindling his relationship with Kristie on and off tour. He wanted to make up for his mistakes and rebuild the lost trust and their friendship, for the sake of their son. He voluntary filed a declaration of Paternity taking up his parental responsibilities. Kristie had started working an album independently, filled with powerful, painfully honest songs about toxic relationships, battling addiction, accepting herself and her demons. One night when Shannon invited Kristie over to talk about collaborating on one of her songs their passion reignited, triggering suppressed emotions, seeking solace, coping with intense grief over past and future. Their intimacy was intense, raw and emotional. They didnt regret their actions that night, but they agreed it would be the last time, focusing on a healthy, stable and amicable partnership in raising their son. His relationship with Kara crumbled under the pressure as she already battled her way through her own insecurities dealing with Kristie and Ryder.

When dating a 'celebrity', you never choose the public opinion that comes with it, and you’re never ready for it either. ‘Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess.’, that quote sadly hits close to home. Jared guided me through my mess, my own battles. ‘Pain shapes a woman into a warrior' the quote traces my spine. Jared has never been a celebrity to me, I never had heard of Thirty seconds to mars nor him, till the day I signed on for the tour diary. I never intended to fall for the celebrity lead singer/actor. Working together 24/7 we established a friendship, that eventually blossomed and we developed a greater depth of love. It stands for the terror I went through experiencing domestic abuse, sexual assault and stalking by the man I once loved. It reminds me of my fight for the truth, my fight for freedom and my fight for survival that nearly killed me and my unborn child.

May 8th, 2011 Intense lightning wakes me early in the morning, the sound of thunder growling and rain drizzling down the window breaks the silence of the night. It's 5 am. Reaching for my cellphone it buzzes in the palm of my hand "hey stranger" I smile at the screen. "good morning Samantha" Jared smiles "did I wake you?" I shake my head adjusting my pillow as I sit upright. "GOOD MORNING SAMMY!" the screen shakes and a very chipper Shannon appears on screen. "morning Shan" I chuckle adjusting my Cami top and pull the sheets a little higher. "even this early in the morning you look beautiful" he exclaims "oh you charmer" I chuckle rolling my eyes. "shan-give... Ugh.. Shan" I gaze at the screen amused as both brothers fight for the phone. "as much as I love facetiming with you both, I'm getting nauseas watching this." getting up from the bed I put on my robe and head downstairs into the kitchen. As a flash of lightening illuminates the entire room startling me, I nearly drop the phone out of my hands, much to both brothers amusement. "oh you know how I hate these kind of storms" I glare at the screen. "repeat after me Sammy 'fuck you thunder you can suck my di-'." "can she not repeat that?" Jared mutters and I laugh "thunder buddies" I wink at Shannon. Making myself a nice steaming cup of cocoa, I softly blow the hot substance in the cup before taking a sip. "is that.. hot cocoa?" Shannon throws me a very judging look. "you bet it is!" I grin "Home-made, I may add. With Belgian chocolate." Shannon grunts deeply, an unimpressed look on his face. "how. could. you" I giggle licking my lips after another sip. "mmm, so, soo good." "alright enough with the cocoa sex, Shannon can I talk to Samantha?" Jared snatches the phone from his brother. "hello again" I smile "can't wait to be home in a few hours" Jared smiles. "I hope your flight doesn't get cancelled" I sigh admiring the storm through the kitchen window. Jared shrugs "at the moment we're delayed for about an hour. I'll keep you updated." the video call lags and I sigh waiting for the video to stabilize. "So how's my girl doing?" "starting to regret that hot chocola-" a wave of nausea washes over me and I drop my phone on the counter, making a sprint for the bathroom. Dropping to my knees I heave above the toilet, pulling my hair back in a messy tail. Rinsing my mouth with mouthwash I pick my phone back up. The video lags as Jared puts his stuff in the trunk of their cab and ask me if I'm okay, wandering from the group. "Morning sickness" I smile annoyed. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and finally developing the cutest small bump. We've been able to keep it a secret, only Emma knows since I confided in her asking to buy me a test after the VMA’s, since I was too scared to get one myself. I eventually took the test a day after when we arrived in Chicago surprising Jared at the hotel with the news, having my test and a litte “hello daddy” romper placed on his pillow. I haven't joined the guys on tour for the past 3 weeks due to extreme morning sickness, they think I had the flu. Today is the big revelation, I'm picking Jared up at the airport when they return from Canada wearing a grey curve hugging dress emphasizing my small bump. He has only seen my early pregnancy bloat evolving to a bump in pictures. Today is the first time he's actually going to admire our little bump. It's not only a surprise to him, but the rest of the crew and Shannon are still unaware of the pregnancy. This afternoon my mom and Constance are coming over for lunch and we're going to surprise them with the pregnancy news! The storm passes quickly and while rain still trickles down, rays of sunshine seep through the clouds. Planning on leaving home an hour before his estimated arrival, to avoid Los Angeles' famous morning traffic jams, I'm in a hurry to find my keys. Cursing underneath my breath I sigh deeply checking the pockets of my leather jacket with no luck. "Damn pregnancy brain. Think Sammy, think." I check my purse a third time before throwing it on the table. "fuck." There's a soft knock on the door jamb behind me and I spin around in shock "oh no, did I get the time wrong, Jared I'm so-" my breath hitches in my throat as my eyes lock with his "You." I swallow hard. "Hello Samantha." my eyes catch glimpse of the silver keys dangling from his index finger, my keys. I swallow hard "how-how did you get.." "Love is a scary thing babe" tucking the keys into his pocket he strides over and I back up. "Caleb , I need you to leave." I plead. He smirks softly "Did you like all the gifts I sent you?" I stare at him in shock when the penny drops and all the flowers and fucked up gifts are from him.  "I'm calling the cops." I warn him, fingers rummaging my purse but I'm unable to trace my phone. "no you won't." he states pulling my phone from his other pocket. In that moment fear and panic wash over me, paralyzing me as within a few strides he's right in front of me, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I miss you" he calmly breathes, hand tracing my curves. Suddenly he tugs at my leather jacket, a deadly glare peering into my eyes. It happens in the blink of an eye but before I can register it I've slapped him hard across the face, it takes him off guard stumbling back, phone falling from his hand. Before I have time to respond and grab my phone or my alarm button his hand violently slip around my throat while he backs me up against the wall, eyes blazing with rage. "a fucking baby?" His grip on my throat tightening. I gasp, digging my nails into his hand and arm trying to get him to ease pressure. “In our 5 years you never felt ready, and with him it takes you less than a year?” he breathes angrily in my face, angry tears in his eyes "Today is the price you pay for having such a good life" his voice is short, clipped and cold. Feeling dizziness set in I scratch my nails across his face to which he releases me. I fall to my knees and cough deeply trying to catch my breath. I want to run, to hide but he's too fast. As I want to grab my phone from the floor he grabs me violently by my hair and I scream loudly.  "If I can't have you, nobody will" he spits flinging me to the other side of the room, crashing into the glass table, shattering it on impact. I feel numb, pain surging my entire body. He kneels next to me and brushes my bloodied cheek. "why do you make me do this. This is all your fault Sam." He rubs his temple frustrated. Tears escape my eyes as the person in front of me is a ghost of the man I used to date. "you once promised to keep me safe-" my voice trembles as I speak "And then you decided to fuck Jared Leto" he hisses hunched over me while grabbing my belly. Protecting my baby I backhand him in the face while kicking him in the nuts and spot my phone. "you cheated on me first, shit head" I crawl over as fast as I can, crying out in pain. Trembling and with blood stained hands I grab my phone. "put it down" he barks angrily. Pressing and holding the side button along with the Volume button I activate my SOS setting. The next few seconds pass by in a blur. I'm fighting him off, kicking and screaming until he has me pinned against the couch, my arm twisted behind me, tearing the phone from my grip. "I told you not to" he yanks my head back, gripping my hair and in that moment, I felt trapped, vulnerable and so hopelessly lost. "HELP ME" I kick and scream, hoping the emergency call was activated. "FUCK!" Caleb screams out tossing the phone away "why do you always make things so complicated babe? Why!?" he frantically rubs his face backing up. Afraid to move I slowly press myself up, ribs feeling sore. "I.. I'm sorry" I apologize, slowly crawling away from him. "please, Cabe, I'm sorry" I whisper pulling myself up with the help of a chair. His eyes lock with mine, tears staining them. "Lies!" he cries "LIES." my heart sinks and I freeze on the spot as I register the gun targeted at me. "Don't do this Cabe" I whisper in a plea. "If I can't have you, nobody can." he yells again, a tear falling from his face. "you're mine. You belong to ME."  blue and red flashing lights illuminate the room, police sirens filling up the background. "it's over" I whisper "it sure is. I love you Sammy, im so sorry" his voice is soft, his intense yet soul-less stare sends chills down my spine. And then the penetrating sound of a gun being fired echoes the room, my ears ringing, the sound of glass shattering. Caleb collapses on the floor in front of me as police officers storm into the room. It is then that I feel the sharp sting in my abdomen. Looking down, blood stains my dress, trickling down my leg. Caleb had pulled the trigger, he shot me right in my stomach. Cradling my belly I sink to the floor and pass out in shock. Jared received an emergency text upon his arrival at LAX, he immediately knew something was wrong when I didn't respond to his or Shannon's calls. He arrived home, at the horrific scene when they rushed me out on the stretcher, a paramedic straddling me while performing chest compressions. My body limp, pale and covered in blood, face bruised and cut with marks around my neck where he tried strangling me.

Shreds to some of the darkest periods of my life I've unwillingly lived publicly. Paparazzi are vicious, they'll hound you around invading and violating your privacy until the very last drop of juicy information is shared. Media loves dramatizing, But sadly, a picture doesn't show the entire story and is easily manipulated into telling something different. It's an ugly world, one I decided I wanted to take control over.

Caleb was shot into the chest, 7 days post-op he presented signs of a stroke, leaving him in a vegetative state. My healing started the moment they turned off life support, his life support. I got to witness the ventilator being turned off and removal of his breathing tube. In that moment I experienced conflicting emotions, liberating relief but also sadness. It felt wrong to grieve someone that caused me so much pain, his death gave me closure, but I refused to forgive him. I'd been to hell and back and my road to recovery was long, I had to be strong and find myself again while navigating a high-risk pregnancy, yes our miracle baby survived the trauma.

At 34 weeks, unexpectedly early, a beautiful baby girl made her appearance into this world. Our little miracle was small and fragile, weighing in at 2.250kg and 43cm.

October, 2011 Shannon looks up from his computer in shock, his face going pale as I enter the studio. "Oh God, what happened," he breathes pulling the headphones from his head and strides over to where I'm standing, my pajama pants covered in blood. In a heartbeat he is in front of me, holding onto my trembling hands. Cupping my face he calms me "breathe Sammy, breathe." his voice is soft as he looks me straight in the eyes "hey, look at me. You're both going to be okay." I felt like I was going to throw up, falling from one emotion into another. Earlier Jared and I finished up a maternity shoot shot by Shannon. My first pregnancy should have been easy, but since the attack I had been terrified of complications, Caleb robbed me from enjoying the miracle of bringing life into this world. "We're going to the hospital right now" his voice edged with determination. "But your busy with Kristie’s al-” “Sammy don’t you start” Flipping his phone to his ear he ushers me up the stairs and to the garage. “I don't even have my bag." I stumble my words as he pulls the door open and sits me down. “This can't be happening" I close my eyes caressing my bump feeling some sort of tightening cramps.

Arriving at the hospital they immediately take me for an exam and place a heart rate monitor on my belly. "Hang in there little peanut" I whisper to my bump and close my eyes praying. Feeling a hand atop of mine I open my eyes exchanging a glance with Jared. Even though he looked calm, I read panic in his eyes. "I'm here." Things happened so fast from that point on. We were totally unprepared to give birth this early. The baby was in distress, the exam showing a placental abruption and they took me straight in prepping me for an emergency C-section. Lots of people swarmed the OR. It felt like I was trapped in a chaotic nightmare. "It's going to be okay" Jared’s lips brush my temple and wipes away the tear that escapes my eyes. He's sat next to me in yellow scrubs, calm through it all , my rock. I was scared and nervous, this pregnancy has been all but a dream. "I'm sorry" I whisper apologetic "what for?" "not being able to keep this baby safe" he caresses my cheek and shakes his head "I'm so proud of you. You're such a strong woman, you’re such a great mother". Light cries fill the room and I sob in relief hearing our baby crying for the first time. "It's a girl!" after a few long minutes we finally get to meet her briefly, before she's taken up to NICU, as she is placed on my upper chest, swaddled in a blanket. My entire heart fills with love as I admire our little girl. Jared gazes lovingly at us "welcome to the world, Willa"

Becoming parents was extraordinary. Watching Jared settle into his new role as a daddy, his priorities changed so much more than I expected. The first weeks were challenging as we divided our time between visiting our premature girl at the hospital and our new home in Malibu. Jared's Studio City home held too many unwanted memories, too much negative energy, so we relocated to a gated family orientated community in Malibu, leaving the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles behind us. The moment we got to bring our baby girl home, our wonderful journey started and brought Jared and I even closer together. We introduced her to her extended family at the Vyrt streaming of the 300th show touring ‘This is War’. We settled into a 'normal' life the upcoming years as the band took a break from touring. Shannon took time to focus on his son and even made several guest appearances on Kristie’s ‘Dancing with the Devil’ tour.

The celebrity lifestyle, partying and fame, we traded for a modest family life, trying to get as close to ‘normal’ as possible. I put my on-screen work with MTV on hold indefinitely and decided to work more behind the scenes. Time out from the spotlight was liberating, focusing just on our little family. Jared dedicated time to his other career, acting, he filmed a new movie, introducing me to my new girlfriend Rayon. It was quite a shock at first, to be honest I didn’t even recognize him when he had walked into the house wearing a floral dress, blonde wig, false lashes and fuchsia lipstick. It took me a while to get used to the fact she also borrowed some of my dresses and panty hoses. As much as I came to like her, I was glad her appearance was limited.

After the 2 year gap since we last took the road, juggling between life on the road, family and promotions for his movie, our fairly stable life got turned upside down. Kristie’s condition took a turn for the worse and Shannon spend more time with Alec and Kristie in Hospice care, promising he’d never abandon his son. Ryder became the most important person in his life. A few months later I took on another edition of the tour diary as the band lined up a new tour for their brand new album.

January, 2014 A small golden globes pré party was held at our house. Jared had transformed our patio in a private backyard cinema with an outdoor projector. My mother, Constance , Shannon and Kara, Emma and the kids would be watching the show from home. Tucking some strands of my hair back in my dramatic, voluminous pony I glance in the mirror and smile approvingly, touching up my bold burgundy lips. And winged eyeliner. "woaaaaaaah" an enthusiastic Willa sprints down the corridor, coming to an abrupt stop at the sight of me, her eyes big with wonder and mouth open wide. I giggle twirling around making my dress fly up "does mommy look pretty?" her eyes squint shut as she breaks out in a big smile. I laugh squatting down in front of her and tap her protruding belly "shall I take that as a yes?" nodding her head fervently she leans in for a hug "mommy you're so pretty!" kissing the top of her head I stand up straight "let's go find your daddy!" turning around her giggles bounce off the walls as her little feet run down the hall towards the patio. "here's my little princes!" Jared picks up his daughter and twirls her around extracting even more giggles as he tickles her belly. "Am I dressed okay for the occasion?" His gaze lingers on me as I step outside, an elegant long white fit and flare dress hugged my curves, with an off the shoulder neckline and billowing sleeves in organza material. Mesmerized Jared takes me in "A classical beauty" he muses and leans in for a kiss "you're handsome yourself too" I whisper capturing his lips much to Willa’s dismay who pushes me back "yuk" both me and Jared burst out laughing. "oh Samantha" my mother gushes, tears staining her eyes "you look absolutely stunning" I twirl around again and huff in doubt "really? Isn't this too much?" biting my lip I meet Jared's, his brow pulled up in ponder "Samantha you look amazing" he speaks assuring "picture time!" Constance exclaims making me laugh as both mothers are pulling out their mobile phone. "thank god we've got the good camera here too" Jared mutters under a breath motioning at Myke, who's following Jared around the entire day before and after the Golden Globes for 'A day in the life of'. After our short photoshoot it's time for us to head out to the red carpet, but before all the celebrity glamour we experienced some family drama as Willa did not want mommy and daddy to leave throwing a dramatical tantrum. Jared, being the slick negotiator he is, managed to keep a second round of tears and screams at bay. A soft sigh escapes my lips and Jared squeezes my knee softly. "ah the terrible two's, I'm sure she's all forgotten about it already" his blue eyes look at me in a comforting way "she was already playing hide and seek with Shannon and Ryder when you made your way towards the car. " placing my hand atop his I nod softly. Nearing the venue I feel butterflies flutter my stomach. I felt nervous, it had been a while since I graced a red carpet alongside him. "ready for the madness?" Jared's lips grace my temple "thanks for joining me tonight." I turn to meet his loving gaze and nudge him softy "always, I'm so proud of you. You're already my winner" I wink and he laughs deeply "that's all I'll ever need, what am I even doing here?" opening the door for me he extents his hand and I take it. I had forgotten about the buzz on the red carpet and to be honest I had missed the glamour, it felt good to be back. Jared and I posed infront of the photographers but the atmosphere was different around us, he was much more relaxed and affectionate than he had ever been. I caught him fixing the train of my dress so it looked good on pictures, he lovingly embraced me and stole kisses, I even noticed he had stopped posing for pictures and was admiring me from afar, snapping a personal picture with his iPhone. The night passed by quickly and soon enough the announcements were made for the category he was nominated in.   Placing my left hand atop his I lace our fingers and squeeze it softly. All air leaves my lungs as his name gets called. Standing up I cup his face and kiss him lovingly "I'm so proud of you".

You don’t always need a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens… And that’s exactly what happened on our special day in 2015. After a very busy and rewarding award and touring season, Jared whisked me away for a romantic getaway at Glen Oaks Big Sur, staying in a secluded cabin tucked away in a redwood grove near a river.

Outstretching my arms above my head I tangle my fingers into Jared’s hair as he leans down for a kiss. “Are you enjoying your bath?” “Very much so, so relaxing after that long hike” I nod approvingly slipping lower into the claw foot bath tub on our secluded porch. “Emma send me a mail regarding some hotel issues for Europe-" “Ugh say no more, be gone” I sigh splashing some water his way making him laugh “I’ll be back in time for dinner” “Oh you better” I mutter closing my eyes relaxing and enjoying the silence. After my bath I head back inside our cabin and find a box and a card on the bed. Closing my robe I sit down and pick up the envelope, Jared’s handwriting addressing me. ‘I love you, will you marry me?’ holding up the card between my fingers I eye it confused. A proposal? But he proposed to me 4 years ago in Paris? “Tonight?” his soft deep voice breaks the silence in the cabin and it startles me slightly. “Jared what- what is this?” he’s stood leaning, admiring me, from afar, his tender blue eyes locking with mine. Pulling his hands from his pockets he pushes off from the wall and walks over to me, kneeling down on one knee. “Jared what are you doing” I roll my eyes mockingly as he shushes me with a finger against the lips. “The past years have been very eventful.. our baby girl, movies, gigs, all the awards... I- I don’t want to waste any more time trying to find an ideal moment away from the madness.” He shakes his head and tilts my chin, thumb grazing my cheek lovingly “The biggest win in my life is having captured your heart, you are my most valued prize. No award can ever compare. Marry me, here, tonight.” I swallow hard trying to find my breath again “I- Yes” A loving smile curls his lips while he leans in and kisses me passionately. “But I… I don’t have a dress, shoes,.. what about-”with a quick peck on the lips he silences me again “Open the box” fumbling with the box my fingers tear of the lid finding the perfect pair of strass crystal embellished Christian Louboutin pumps ‘It was and always will be you’ engraved on the red sole along with today’s date. I sigh his name admiring the pumps a hint of doubt to detect in my voice. “I know you’ve always dreamt of a big ceremony with the entire family and I promise you, we’ll still do one. I promise.” Taking my hand he leads me to the bathroom, there on a hanger is the most stunning dress I have ever laid eyes on. Sparkly and sexy, consisting of white sequin embellished tulle with full skirt, plunging V-neck and low-cut back with fitted sequin tulle sleeves. Grazing my fingers along the tulle I stare at him in shock. Jared grins “Willa picked it out, I guess it must have been the sparkles. But I did agree on it being a marvelous dress” “You took her to a bridal Boutique?” I smack my lips and chuckle at the thought. “Yes, she has an eye for design of fashion, guess she has that from his mother” Jared winks making me break out in a laugh. “Yes, I do hope she doesn’t inherent your sense in style.” Mimicking a hurt expression Jared embraces me close to him and brushes a strand of hair from my face. “So, shall we get married?” he beams “Let’s do this.” My heart skips a beat as I take in my reflection in the mirror. The all over sparkling sheer fabric looks luxurious yet elegant against my tan bodysuit, Jared customized pumps matching perfectly with the gown. My hair is kept loose in subtle curls along with subtle makeup. Exiting the cabin and walking down the steps I call out his name. Jared turning as I do so and as his eyes land on me while tucking his phone into his pocket, he pauses, struck in awe. Soaking me all in, he’s overcome by raw emotion fighting back his tears as they fill up his eyes. Jared looked sharp in his all black tuxedo, hair tuck in a sleek man bun. Exhaling a deep breath he  regains his composure “wow” is all he can bring out. Taking my hand in his slightly shaking one, he pushes me backwards a little looking me up and down and then twirls me around. Capturing his cheek with the palm of my hand I rest my forehead against his. He was nervous, and for him, that was rare. “I keep falling in love with you, over and over, each day.” His voice is pure, a soft tremble “when everything is falling apart, you’ll fuel me to keep going on, the best part of me is you. You became the mother of my children and now you’re about to become my wife. I will always stand by your side with unconditional love” I could tell his nerves eased away as I captured his lips with mine in a sweet caress, his tongue sweeps between my lips indulging into a long emotional heartfelt kiss. His hands resting at the small of my back inching me closer to him. Breathless I break from his hold, wiping some smudged lipstick from his lips. It is then that I notice a young brunette and tall guy capturing every moment of our first look with professional camera’s. Clearing my throat I run a hand through my hair “You’re in luck this didn’t turn into an R-rated version” Bursting into a chuckle they introduce themselves as our photographer and videographer for the evening. “I want to capture every single magical moment celebrating our love.” Jared says lacing his fingers with mine. Since then sun was nearly setting Tricia and Rob advice to go for pictures first at the cliffs of big sur. Standing in Jared’s embrace along the rocky coastline, the setting sun reflecting off the beads of my dress and a romantic fog rolling in over the ocean, it feels surreal, as if I’m moving in a dream. I could not feel more beautiful and more happy as in this moment.

With the last of the fading sun through the foggy redwood forest we arrive at the hotel and I shiver when the cool evening breeze hits my skin. Reaching out Jared drapes a fluffy fake fur wrap shawl around me. I halting letting my fingers roam the fur collar “This… this is my mother’s?”  there is a hint of mischief and mystery to the grin forming his lips as he leads me down the path of the enchanted looking forest. We reach an outdoor deck with heathers, decorated with a hundred twinkling fairy lights, blush and white baby’s breath and pampas grass and a long formally set table. "Surprise!" startled I turn around to meet my mother, Constance, Shannon & Ryder, Tomo & Vicki, Tim, Gisella & Andrea, Dean, Mason, Kara, Myke & Kellen and Emma holding Willa standing at the end of the deck. I glance at Jared, whom lovingly brushes an escaped tear from my cheek. "I've had this all planned out, you wouldn't honestly think I'd have us married without the most important people near?" Shannon stalks over and spins me around making the sequin tulle skirt fly up "Sammy you are looking mighty fine".  "Hello there, sexy momma" Tim laughs and I slap his chest. "Oh Timmeh, I missed you!" pulling me close he kisses my temple “Gis!” I shriek flinging my arms around her “I can’t believe you’re here! YOU KEPT THIS A SECRET FROM ME!?” laughing through her tears she glances at Jared “He’s the mastermind behind all of this!” caressing her belly I glance at Andrea “You’re going to have your hands full when this little one arrives” he grins and kisses Gisella’s temple “I’m coming back home” she pipes. “You’re moving back to Los Angeles?” I stare at her in shock, a second stream of tears filling up my eyes. “Yes!” she exclaims. Drying my tears I crouch down as Willa stalks over to me wearing a bright pink dress, princess crown in her curly locks. “you look so pretty” pulling her into a hug I kiss her and run my hands through her curls “Thank you for picking my dress, I love it” she smiles widely “mommy you’re a real princess!” Jared's hand lands in the small of my back as he crouches down next to me and kisses my temple and taps Willa’s nose “This Prince wants to marry his Princess.” He smiles with a wink and turns to me “Lets get hitched?" he asks me "Finally” I giggle capturing his lips and brush a tear from my mom's cheek while passing her.

It's been one hell of a journey the past decade. I've been hurt in monumental ways and made major life decisions.  At 35 I don't regret any decision I've made in the past, I wouldn't trade this life for the world. I'm right where I want to be, where I need to be. I've transformed from a broken, timid girl into a strong, confident woman. Happy and in Love. Until we meet again!  Love and miss you all so much!!!

Xoxo Samantha”

  ---

I glance up from my laptop, a beautiful rich shade of magenta painting the sky, reflecting off the ocean as the sun sets. Running a hand through my soft curly blonde hair, I place my glasses in my hair and close my eyes breathing in the fresh air. Two arms slip around me pulling me into an embrace from behind, his lips warm against my temple. "Happy Marsiversary baby" he muses and I smile turning on my chair. "So you remember" I smile bringing my arms up to cup his face as he sits down next to me and leans in "oh Sammy" his brows arch up "would I ever forget the day this angel walked into my life 10 years ago? Never." his voice is soft and a soft smile tugs his lips. "forever grateful" he muses pressing his lips gentle against mine. I smile and caress his cheek “The kids in bed?” He nods "Still working are we?" Jared asks glancing at the laptop behind me. Chuckling I pat his knee "Some things never change." "What's the latest?" he asks nudging my shoulder and I smile "actually...-" I pause and take my laptop on my lap turning it to him "-I took a trip down memory lane... The latest blog post is... the final excerpt for the Tour Diary." Jared's brows arch up as his eyes scan the drafted blog post in front of him "it's...my…our, honest closure on the chapter" leaning back in my seat I take a sip of my glass of water and run a hand along his shoulder. "If that's okay with you" I reach out, brushing an escaped strand of hair that slipped from his messy man-bun behind his ear. His eyes lock with mine, a soft smile touching his lips. "Fans rarely get a glimpse in our private life, even after acknowledging our relationship all those years ago. We have always been very selective in the family moments we share online and during interviews...” he smiles, hands landing on my growing baby bump. In a few months our family would be complete, after a struggle to get pregnant again, suffering several miscarriages and going through a lengthy adoption process a few years back, we’d be a happy family of five soon. Chuckling slightly feeling a soft kick I place my hand atop his. Jared smiles “I’m ready to share part of it all.” placing the laptop next to him he ushers close to my belly planting a soft kiss “I can’t wait to meet you little Alexander.”

-The End-

(*)  Lyrics taken from : Skylar Gray ft Eminem : Love the way you lie pt2 Visual credits to resp. owners

#Welcome to the universe #jammy #Jammy is back #mars fanfiction #dreamingdreamsnevermore #the end #fanfiction #SamanthaMorgan

[jungshookz]

ballet!jimin's harsh voice but gentle touch when he's telling u off for performing with an injury but bandaging u up and snapping at the others because his sTAR WAS HURT AND CRYING im sOFT

→ pairing: park jimin x reader 

→ genre: balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!y/n au, fluff!!!! the fluffiest fluff!!! idk jimin just really cares about y/n okAY 

→ wordcount: 2.5k 

→ note: i keep starting off with baby drabbles and then the baby drabbles eventually turn into fAT drabbles so here u go.,., y/n is a big dum-dum for not telling jimin about her sprained ankle and he wants to kiss the bruise on her knee but that’s probably not a good idea

(gif isn’t mine!) (okay but this gif is literally so perfect for this au) 

                                      »»————-　♡　————-««

long story short

you managed to sprain your ankle after trying to do a grand jeté and now you’re trying to pretend like your foot is completely fine

(a grand jeté is a move where ur supposed to spring from one foot and land on the other while keeping one leg forwArd of your body and the other leg stretched backwards while in the air) 

((u would not recommend doing it and u give it -2/10 gold stars))

it’s just that you have this innate, almost animalistic need to impress jimin and the other week you snuck a glance at the syllabus and you saw ‘grand jeté’ scribbled at the bottom of the page

and ya know what

you want to be one of the first people in the class to learn how to do it!! even though you’ve never attempted it before but 

now is a good time to start learning! 

you came in super early today to practice this stuPid move

it’s literally just a jump from point a to point b so you don’t understand why-

“shit!” you gasp when you feel a sharp pain shOOt up your foot the moment you land and you immediately crumple to the ground with a loud fLOP

O W

“oh my god, ow-” you hiss and rub at your sore ankle that’s beginning to turn red

you try flexing your foot and you let out a whimper when you feel another zap of pain

okay

you know what

it’s not a big deal

class starts in… ten minutes, so maybe you can hobble to the vending machine and use a can of soda as a makeshift ice pack

yes

also you should probably hide in the bathroom while icing your ankle because there’s no way in hell you’re going to let jimin see you like this

you’re already sure he hates you and you are not going to give him another reason to keep hating you

“that was quite a tumble, y/l/n. maybe if you kept your leg straighter, you wouldn’t have landed so harshly.” you immediately freeze upon hearing the voice of your sworn enemy

seulgi

you whip around to look over your shoulder “…seulgi! i… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“it’d be a shame if you hurt your foot… you won’t be able to participate in class… you won’t be able to show us your amazing dance moves…” seulgi sighs and drops her bag on the side

you narrow your eyes at her

something’s coming

“oh! and you won’t be able to suck up to mr. park like a little teacher’s pet.”

ah

there it is

you have literally never done anything to seulgi but she hates you because she fully believes that you’re jimin’s favourite student which yOU know is not true

it’s just because she wants to be jimin’s favourite student which is understandable but

you don’t get why she has to be so mean to you all the time

“says you.” you can’t help but roll your eyes after you turn back around to check on your foot

you give it another little flex and curse quietly

you definitely sprained it

you gooFball

you shouldn’t have attempted a grand jeté without jimin’s guidance!!!

“sorry, did you just say something?” 

“i said i’m fine, seulgi.” you force a smile onto your face “but thank you for your concern.” you push yourself up off the ground and biTe back a hiss of pain when you get back up onto your feet

okay okay oKAy

just smile through the pain

do noT give seulgi the pleasure of knowing that your foot is all kinds of fucked up right now

if you don’t think about your foot, you should be fine

you only have to get through an hour and a half of rigorous dancing and then you can hobble to the drug store and get yourself some ointment and a bandage and hopefully your foot will get better over the weekend

and with this distraction you officially have… one minute left til class starts

the rest of the girls have already filed into the room and everyone’s either stretching on the barre or putting their pointe shoes on

“alright, ladies!” you jump when jimin claps his hands together as he steps into the studio “put on your best performance smiles because i want to see everyone do a triple-turn pirouette since we spent all of last week working on them!”

“oh, jesus.” you mutter to yourself and you ignore the way seulgi crosses her arms and smirks at you

it’s not just one pirouette that you have to do

it’s a triple-turn pirouette

you have to spin around three damn times!!!!

your foot isn’t even going to let you spin onE time!!  

it can’t get any worse than this 

“we’re going to have everyone up here one by one so that i can clearly pick out whatever mistakes will be made.”

…okay, it turns out it actually can get worse than this 

everyone moves to gets in a line at the back of the room

“alright, so…” jimin pauses for a second and raises his brow when he notices you.,. hobble? to your spot

hm 

you turn around and stand in third position with your hands behind your back and clear your throat

“let’s get started! don’t let me down, please.”

“don’t let him down, y/l/n.” seulgi nudges your side with her elbow and you resist the urge to shoVe your elbow right into her face

“why don’t you focus less on me and more on the fact that you’re in fourth position instead of third?” you mutter and seulgi immediately looks down at her feet before shifting her feet

curse you and your attention to detail

“answer me this - how should one hold their arms during a pirouette?” jimin snaps and holds his clipboard against his chest before raising his brow at poor ailee

she looks like she’s about to start crying and honEstly you would probably start crying too

“um, you… they should be curved… and…”

“incorrect.” jimin blinks “i can’t tell if you’re kidding me or not. they should be straight out in front of your chest with your palms inward and your thumbs aligned. get out of my classroom and come back when you’re ready - next!”

ailee literally whimpers before ducking down and sprinting out of the classroom 

oh goD

you’ve never been kicked out of the classroom before and you sure as hell don’t want to start now

you swallow thickly when you take a peek at how many girls are left until it’s your turn

four more including seulgi

you’ve seen seulgi do a triple-turn pirouette before and even though she does it beautifully you still hAte her guts

you grimace when you move up the line but you let out a small breath

smile through the pain

your ankle feels like it’s on FIRE

“seulgi? you’re up.” jimin taps his pen against his clipboard before gesturing for her to come

seulgi doesn’t say a word as she steps over to the middle of the room

a bright smile adorns her face as she spins one, two, and three times

goddamnit

how are you supposed to go on after seulgi????

“good.” jimin nods in affirmation “back of the line so that you can show the class again after everyone’s done.”

“yes, mr. park.” seulgi smiles sweetly and bats her lashes at him before veering off to the back of the line

“good luck, y/n.” she doesn’t hesitate to flash a smug little smirk in your direction as she steps past you

“y/n, your turn.” jimin hums and you offer him a meek smile

okay

here we go

don’t think about your foot

just think about the triple turn

you clear your throat again as you get into position

the first step to the turn is a plié

you stand with your feet flat against the floor

you bend your knees outward and keep your legs straight

so far so good

you lift your back heel off the ground slightly to prepare to turn and press your lips together to hide a wince when you feel more pressure on your front (very VERY spRAined) foot

“make sure your weight is centred over the ball of your foot so as not to disrupt your alignment.” jimin reminds you gently and you nod

“yes, mr. park.” you let out a breath to prepare yourself for the oncoming onslaught of PAIN

you give yourself a mental countdown before lifting your back leg and initiating your turn

you lift your back leg up and place your foot above the knee of your straight leg with your toe pointed towards the ground and you turn once

oh gOD

you unintentionally let out a gasp after completing the first turn because jesus fuCK that hurts!

your sprained foot is literally carrying the weight of your entire body and you want to: dIE

okay, second turn, here we go!

you remember to keep your back straight and your arms in a circle in front of you as you turn

you also remind yourself to focus on spotting so that you won’t lose your balance

you keep your head straight and level as you turn the second time

don’t think about your foot don’t think about your foo-

j-jESUS chRIST have MERCY

you get halfway through the final turn before your foot gives in and you find yourself tumbling to the ground

your knee hits the ground with a loud smAck that seems to bounce off the walls of the room and you let out a groan of pain

well, this is great!

now you have a fucked up ankle anD a bruised and bLeeding knee!

“christ, y/n, are you okay??” your name slips out of jimin’s mouth as he drops to his knees and sets his clipboard down with a clatter

seulgi raises her hand high up into the air and clears her throat “mr. park, can i just say how truly admirable it is that y/n wanted to get up there and show you her triple- well, her double-pirouette even though she sprained her ankle at the beginning of class?”

jimin looks up at her and immediately knits his brows together 

“you knew a fellow classmate was injured and you didn’t inform me?” he practically growls at her and she shrinks back in fear

“i-“ seulgi pauses and her face flames up immediately “i-i mean, yes, but that’s only because i… i didn’t want…”

you literally aren’t even paying attention to the fact that seulgi is getting toasted and roasted by jimin because you are in sO much pain

you let out a sob and feel a hot tear roll down the side of your face as you lie on your back clutching your knee to your chest  

oh grEAT

and now you’re crying!!!

jimin looks down at you in alarm before glancing over at the other girls who look absolutely traumatised

“everyone out of the classroom! go and practice your turns in room b.”

so

you’re not particularly sure what’s going on right now

everyone left the room five minutes ago and jimin hasn’t said a word to you

you stopped crying as soon as everyone left upon realising that you are now alone with jimin

he doesn’t say anything as he pulls the first aid kit out to get the ointment and the bandages

he doesn’t say anything as he sits down across from you and pulls your foot up gently so it’s sitting on his lap

you’re sitting up while leaning back on your palms and you chew on your bottom lip nervously

he helps unravel the ribbon around your ankle before slipping your pointe shoe off and setting it aside

you feel like you should at least say somEthing

“mr. park? i’m sorry for not telling-“

“how could you be so irresponsible?” jimin interrupts you and glances up at you for a second before looking back down at your foot

you feel your cheeks heat up with shame

“i just didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.” you murmur and twiddle with the edge of your chiffon skirt

“i could never be disappointed in you.” jimin mutters in response as he carefully pins the bandage in place

he pauses for a second because he definitely wasn’t supposed to say that out loUd

“you have to let me know the next time you’re hurt, okay?” he sets your foot aside and scoots closer til he’s practically sitting with your legs on either side of him

and now your cheeks are heating up for a different reason

and then you realise he’s only done that because your knee is still bruised and bleeding

“yes, mr. park.” 

“how did you hurt yourself?” he rips open a little antiseptic pad package with his teeth and that..,,. shouldn’t be hot,.., but it was kinda hot.,,.

“i was… trying to do a grand jeté and i guess i landed weirdly on my ankle…” you breathe out 

your heart is beating a little harder now because jimin’s face is only a couple inches away from yours

he’s so pretty 

:-( 

“but i haven’t taught how to do a grand jeté yet?” jimin raises a brow as he wipes up the dried blood

you twitch at the slight sting of it

“i saw it on your clipboard and i wanted to teach myself how to do it to impress you.” you admit shamefully and divert your gaze immediately when you feel jimin freeze

“are you serious?”

“…ya”

jimin snorts 

gOD

you are so CUTE

his heart skip a beat at your confession

it’s so cute!!!! you did it to impress him!!!!!! him!!!! even though you obviously hurt yourself doing it but still!! you did it for hiM!!! 

a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth and he shakes his head 

“you really are something, you know that?” he laughs lightly as he smooths the bandaid over your cut

you can’t help but let out a little huff “…is that a good thing?”

jimin looks over at you and he just wants to kith the pout off your adorable faCE 

he resists the urge to lean down and press a kiss over your knee and instead gives it a little pat before reaching over a tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear 

“miss y/l/n - it’s a very good thing.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

drabble tag

#requested drabbles #jimin drabbles #balletteacher!jimin #balletteacher!jimin drabbles #jimin fics #jimin fic recs #jimin writing #jimin fluff #jimin fluff recs #jimin #park jimin #jimin smut #bts fics #bts fic recs #bts drabbles #bts #bts fluff recs #bts fluff #bts smut #bts smut recs #jimin smut recs #bts jimin #jimin hot #jimin au #bts au #reader insert #jimin x reader

[momrryfest2020]

You guys are AMAZING!!

Okay, so here’s the list of prompts, gonna open up author signups tomorrow...note, this is an all pairings space, so feel free to read these prompts as such! And if you want to provide something that is NOT a prompt, no worries, just submit to the collection when I open it up. This is gonna be *fun*, you went above and BEYOND on these!! <333

Prompt list:

1. Juno AU

2. During a mutual divorce, harry finds out he’s pregnant and has to navigate that with his ex and his new love interest!

3. Harry is pregnant and he’s all too happy to finally be able to put his pre-post natal yoga certification skills to real practice as he leads his class.

4. Harry has always been into dirty talk, especially “daddy” kink, and now that he (or she) is pregnant, his (or her) partner kicks it up a notch, calling her “mommy”

5. ANYTHING LACTATION KINK, DON’T CARE HOW.

6. Mommy + Pregnancy Kink please Harry calls his partner mommy and imagines getting impregnated by them.

7. Harry’s sad that he’ll never be able to get pregnant so his partner makes him feel better by “knocking him up” ie: lots of dirty talk about harry being fertile and barebacking and sweet talk afterward about what a good mum harry will be.

8. Harry just gave birth to their first child and is still very tired and exhausted, so Louis makes sure he is the best husband ever and learns more recipes to cook for him, takes care of their little bundle of joy and they’re just a happy, small little family :> lots of cuddling pls (and maybe at the end when harry’s feeling better a big family trip with both their families to a swimming hall)

9. That picture of Dakota Johnson at the farmer’s market, feeding a baby a fresh strawberry, you know the one…that’s it, that’s the prompt.

10. Harry gets baby fever after the last of his former bandmates has a kid of his own and he’s the last one standing. He decides he wants to adopt a baby with his current partner. A cute story about Harry adopting a baby basically

11. Harry is in that annoying part of pregnancy where he has to pee every 10 minutes. One night he’s having sex and suddenly has to pee. Person A doesn’t want to ruin the sex and begs him to just pee where they are. They both enjoy it more than they should??

12. The Back-up Plan (2010) AU - Harry conceives twins through artificial insemination, then meets the person of their dreams on the very same day.

13. Moving to a new town to start a new job is never easy. It’s even more challenging with two teenage daughters and a recent divorce from her husband of 16 years. Harry is at her wit’s end when her hair dresser suggests a single mothers’ get-together through the Meetup app. Despite being skeptical of meeting people from the online group, she goes. At the meeting she meets Louis, who also has teenage kids, and they end up falling in love.

14. cheaper by the dozen au

15. harry and his (or her or their) partner on their first night home with their newborn ft. some freaking out about being responsible for a whole human person but mostly lots of cuddles for everyone.

16. one of harry’s close friends just had a baby so he and his partner go to see them, during the visit his partner notices that harry is extra attentive/fixated on his friend while she breastfeeds so he brings it up when they get home and sexy times ensue

17. pregnant/just gave birth harry decides to go to a breastfeeding support group

18. Harry as cool mom inspired by the Cool girl monologue from the movie Gone Girl. Because i don’t get how society’s expectations of moms don’t leave all moms more bitchy, on top of that cool mom has to make it look easy and fun.

19. One thing that made me completely obsessed when I was pregnant, was the feeling that my body was changing but not being able to tell if it was all in my head or physical there. Having that sort of assessed and validated by my partner in a not clinical way has been super satisfying (both in a sexy and peace of mind way)

20. Harry, who has always enjoyed being everybody’s baby, is having a baby

21. Louis is an alpha and a new single father to a six months old or younger if you wish (the mother is not around). Harry is the nanny he hires to help him take care of the baby because he has no idea what he is doing. Harry is an omega and the baby takes an immediate liking towards him and his scent. The baby’s first word will be ‘mummy’ to Harry and him having a break down because he sees the baby as his own. (He and Louis obviously get together)

22. Mitch and Harry have to babysit Adam Prendergast’s kids for the day and Harry falls into the mom role easily.

23. Harry is a single mommy of a newborn that can’t seem to fall asleep at night. Louis is the nice neighbor that should be called baby’s whisperer. Strangers to Lovers AU with lots of kinks and fluff, please! (Bonus points for Louis being obsessed with Harry’s body) (Golden star for lactation kink)

24. Buns in the oven, babying a sourdough and kneading dough could make for some amazing suggestive dirty talk in any kitchen, especially for someone who ten years later still talks about their job at a bakery, loves baguette and is a little obsessed with pregnant bellies.

25. Louis and Harry are at a party that is related to Louis’ job, Harry is just being a good hubby and coming with him. Harry is seven months pregnant though and some of Louis’ colleagues keep staring at him in a flirty way. It makes Louis furious that they’re all staring at his baby mama like that so he takes Harry home and they have hot sex, Louis calling Harry mommy, add lactation kink if you want to and pls lots of mentions about the things Louis adores about pregnant Harry (aka bigger thighs, glowing skin, tiddies, tiddies, did I mention tiddies? you can also make this a/b/o of you want)

26. maybe a cute little collection of Louis’ and Harry’s firsts with their baby? first time they hear the heartbeat, first time they feel them kick, first time they see her after harry gave birth, first time harry breastfeeds, first time they say mama or papa, first time of them going to visit the grandparents, first time crawling, first bath with mama and papa… ugh my heart.

27. Harry’s and Louis’ son is like 16, so he is hanging out with his friends and his friends are teasing him about how hot his mother (aka harry) is, just like the 1d boys always did with harry about Anne. The son feels super uncomfortable and Louis is super confused why these little teenagers boys always stare at Harry’s body when he is cooking for them whenever they visit until he finds out they think of Harry as the hottest milf in town (more humor than actual sexual references pls, this is supposed to be more funny than awkwardly sexual :D)

28. Harry missing his pre-pregnancy body a bit after having his second child and Louis making him feel loved, them both going to the gym and working out together just to have hot kinky sex in the shower later, body worshipping and lots of sassy mommy harry please <3

29. I would love some sad sex fic. Being pregnant is a messy affair. You become a dual entity of you and the baby and are expected to be constantly performing happiness. Dads are allowed to be uncertain but moms are constantly asked how much they are looking forward to the baby. Sometimes you are in line at the supermarket and feeling a profound sadness and frustrating hornynes and being told you are glowing by some complete stranger is in no way making your day better, it only solidifies the feeling of having become your pregnancy.

30. Person A helps a miserably full and sore Harry when he starts to ween the baby from breast feeding but of course he’s still producing milk.

31. Mommy H is spoiled with a huge and extravagant baby shower. Ideally he’s huge and kind of miserable at this point but he’s being pampered and doted on and absolutely loves it.

32. So (optional abo) Harry gets pregnant from a night out at the age of 20 ish? When his kid gets to the age of 12 (Harry 32) he starts asking about his other dad and Harry feels bad his son doesn’t have a dad so he starts to research. He find 4 possible guys it could’ve been - louis, Liam, Niall or Zayn. He thinks he’ll just know when he meets them all. He was wrong. (Perhaps one of them turns out to be the dad, but Harry falls in love with another one For example: Louis the dad and Liam the lover or Zayn the dad and Louis the lover! Choose any pair combo!!! Whichever endgame you prefer)

33. lots of mommy harry with a newborn baby fluff and him being over the moon, loving his little bundle of joy and pls add a cute breastfeeding scene

34. The progression of Harry’s horniness during pregnancy to the point that his mans doesn’t think he can keep up with it

35. Harry’s been dating x person for a while and they have a healthy and diverse sex life. They both think it would be hot for Harry to be fucked by other guys while his boyfriend watches. Basically a cuck/orgy situation with some breeding/fertility dirty talk to make it kinkier. (Could be that he’s already pregnant and gets fucked by an outsider??)

36. Pregnant Harry gets his first bra to accommodate his milk coming in and he’s kind of obsessed with how he looks in it

37. harry + ot5 or ot4, being their intersex mate or omega, multiples in pregnancy and maybe a kidnapping, runaway magic harry using bond or mate pull to make it back to them as they also fight their way back to him

38. Harry Edward Styles, single father with a gorgeous six year old daughter. He works in an event management company, his specialty wedding planning,with his own personal office with a team and all. He is Arya’s mummy as he gave birth to her when he was eighteen year old. With a loads of baggage from his past Harry is a strong person who is giving his all to make a perfect life for his daughter. They are the dynamic duo against the world. (The name for the child can be changed as per author’s wish and Louis and Harry pairing please thank you)

39. Girl direction: Harry is excited to learn that her alien gf is ovulating and volunteers to be the incubator of gf’s self-fertilised eggs. Sexy oviposition and sharing the joy of motherhood.

40. Girl direction 70s AU: Harry and her gf secure a sperm donation and get busy with a turkey baster.

#prompts #get ready to get ready...to sign up!!

[matkomakto]

How was it to be a volunteer in Italy?

In this post I want to describe my experience as an AIESEC volunteer in Bologna (I posted a lot during this period on my Instagram). My project was related to SDG4, or in other words Quality Education. The name of my NGO is EduChange. What I did in practice was teaching English and giving presentations about Poland and Polish culture to Italian children at the age of 9-10 (and once 14, but that’s a different story). I will put a line now, so that if you’re not interested you won’t have to scroll like crazy.

ARRIVAL

I don’t want to describe the whole procedure of applying, it’s very easy and nothing really happens. Before you leave you have two meetings - one in your local AIESEC and the other via Internet with the one you’re going to. My journey starts on January, 17th. In the morning I entered a bus to Kraków, from where I departed at 4pm to Venice, and then to Bologna. Venice welcomed me with rain (I got a little cold because of that, but Gripex saved my life once again) and so did Bologna. The whole journey took 26 hours (yes, I went by bus and you can’t judge me). Somewhere on my way my first host-mum, Mary, messaged me wishing me a good journey and asking if I was safe (and in this sentence you have everything about this woman - always kind and caring <3). A few hours later, my other host-mum, Chiara, who was supposed to take me from the station messaged me too. At the station I was welcomed by Chiara and Matilde, one of my new sisters (in general, now I have 3 sisters and 1 brother). In the car I met Davide, dad, and Carlotta, my other sister (or daughter, as some people would say). After a short conversation, I realised we were in the house of Mary, where I was about to spend next 3 weeks of my life. I was tired af, but it’s understandable, I think. I messaged my buddy, Marie Claire (oh, haven’t told you about her — a buddy is a person from bolognese AIESEC, who takes care of you, a kind of nanny I’d say) and my manager, Sofia. And then I had dinner and went to sleep. I was sleeping from 14.00 till 11.00 on Sunday. I had no idea what would happen next.

FERRARA

I woke up when nobody was at home. It was a bit creepy tbh. On the table I found a note “We’ll be home at 12, eat anything you want” (I didn’t, my stomach was still acting as if I were in the bus). When the whole family, it means — Mary, Andrea, Athina and Achille, came back, they told me “We’re going to Ferrara”. I thought “What is Ferrara?”. It’s a beautiful town near Bologna, where we spent an amazing afternoon. I didn’t know anything about this town, and even if Mary and Andrea tried their best as guides, I spent a whole evening using Google Maps to identify objects I had seen. Among them were the Cathedral, Palazzo Muncipale, Castello Estense, Palazzo dei Diamanti and Via delle Volte. I ate a delicious cake, which name I don’t remember, filled with Nutella. Achille kept complaining “Maddalena’s cake is the best!” (they all  ok, almost all called me Maddalena, which is Italian version of Magdalena). In the evening we played all three in the living room and I was texted by Serena, an English teacher from one schools I was going to teach in, also one of my best bolognese friends. With her message I became both excited and anxious about the next day.

FIRST DAY(S)

All the anxiety disappeared when I entered the first school. The children were so lovely and cheerful that I fell in love with them (in a good meaning ofc) instantly. On the first lesson I was just sitting and doing nothing. Then, Serena came, and I was helping her to answer children’s questions during a final test. Believe me, there were hundreds of them. I came home tired, but happy. And finally I became hungry and ate everything I was offered (I always have a problem with eating far from home). The next day meant another school. It was less pleasant as a building, as Mary described it - it looked more like a hospital. Nevertheless, both the teachers and the students again were pure love. In the canteen I sat with 5 boys, who were supposed to make an interview with me. I felt as if I had been watching Familiada live. Then, one of the teachers came to our table hugging one boy saying “Ask him as often as you can. He’s my son”. Lovely, isn’t it? XD In the next class two girls came to me, giving me a drawing (I have it still in my diary). When I asked in Italian if it was for me, I heard a loud, full of shock “LEI CAPISCEEEEEEEEE”. One of the funniest things during these first days is that nobody knew I spoke Italian, and seeing their faces as they discovered it was a very entertaining activity. Wednesday was my day out, I’ll describe it later. On Thursday and on Friday I went to the third school. I ended up in Athina’s class and believe me, it’s really hard to be in one class with your sibling. Fun fact, both English teachers in that school are Rosannas, which confused me a bit these days.

DISCOVERING BOLOGNA

Finally, on my free Wednesday I got an opportunity to go to the centre. I remember my heartbeat when the bus no.13 entered the centre, it was fulfilling of a dream I made as a 13-year-old girl. I walked through Via d’Azeglio and found myself in Piazza Maggiore. Do you remember that scene from Home Alone, where Kevin realises he’s home alone and walks along screaming as crazy? It was me at the moment (but I screamed internally, don’t be scared). I entered Basilica (which I loved and I came back there several times, even twice on the same day). When I went out, I met Marie Claire. She was my guide that day, we had a great time as she showed me Bologna and its 6 secrets (google it). Later I was supposed to go on an AIESEC meeting (there were 2 meetings and Global Village). I continued my trip around city centre from Saturday till Monday, even if the weather wasn’t as great as on Wednesday. Also, on Saturday we spent a few hours “occupando Italia in un Irish pub” with other volunteers. On that day I discovered KIKO Milano, which is now my #1 makeup brand, I’m addicted to it, sorry if I’m a disappointment.

WEEK #2

I was about to write “Nothing interesting really happened”. But damn, I survived a power shortcut in one of the schools, I ate a true Italian pizza and gelato for the first time, I prepared 120 minutes of lesson in 5 minutes because the teacher was absent, I got engaged into “International Mother Tongue Day” organised by one of my schools, I bought a pair of beautiful shoes, I started to enjoy my new social life (volunteers, ily’all and miss y’all <3) and I managed to organise my first trip completely on my own. If that’s nothing then I don’t know what it is. Oh yes, my famous trips, or as I heard from some people “you have too much money”. Let’s remember the first one.

ROME

No matter how hard I try to overcome it, the very first thing I remember about Rome is the pain in my feet. If you’re ever in Rome, please children, don’t go there in brand-new shoes and try not to walk 21,5 km in a single day. As a true Polish, I will start with complaining. I waited 1,5h for a bus and it didn’t have a machine to buy tickets, as they have in Bologna (Bologna-Rome 1:0). On Saturday, despite not the best weather, I made a beautiful trip from Basilica Papale di Santa Maria Maggiore, through Colloseum, Forum Romanum, Altare della Patria, Palazzo Colonna, Fontanna di Trevi, Piazza Navona, Castel Sant’Angelo to the Vatican City and its museum (I have an illegal photo from Sistine Chapel, but shh). My friends volunteers, who also were in Rome, wanted me to go with them to Trastevere, but believe me, I was dying. The next day I did the check out before 8am and I enjoyed empty Rome on Sunday morning, it was amazing. I visited Trinità dei Monti. It was almost empty, @turbinis​ told me I was very lucky, so I will make you see how my luck looks like:

INDEED.IT.WAS.EMPTY.AND.ONE.HOUR.LATER.I.CAME.BACK.THERE.AND.IT.WAS.FULL.OF.PEOPLE.

WEEK #3

In one class there was a Polish boy. Whenever I saw him, he was yelling “CZEEEŚĆ” and whenever I told something about Poland all the children looked at him in the way “Do you confirm what she’s saying?” This week also brought me two great memories with my bro, Achille. He was sick and out of school and this week he was supposed to be back. He was a bit depressed and thought he would have to study all night. Oh, I forgot about the deep existential question he asked me two weeks before: “Have you ever loved someone on this Earth?”. Deep, you must admit. Another time, he was watching cartoons. When his cartoon ended, they started a cartoon for younger kids. He got offended, switched off the tv and took off the battery from the remote control, because “he won’t watch things for babies”. I remember that one day I became extremely hungry and the next day I went to Café Zamboni (coming back from Pinacoteca, which was amazing btw) and ate so much, that I could barely walk XD. I started realising that I want to go to Erasmus here. It was also a week of Sanremo, I remember with laugh how Athina tried to show her dad the performance of Achille Lauro and poor babbo was running away from her and her phone (I was team Gabbani, although now, when I’m writing this, I hear a loud “FAAAAAI RUMOOORE QUIIIII”). On Friday I got compliments from Rosanna and Rosanna for being a good teacher. They really liked how I had substituted Rosanna#1 the week before. Having my wings grown, I started my next trip, using Frecciarossa for the first time.

NAPLES

Although you may not believe it, it was the first time I had seen the sea. Moreover, I saw it for the first time in the same place as did Elena Greco in “L’amica geniale”, but I realised it a few weeks later. Getting out of the hostel, I went down Via Toledo, Galleria Umberto I, Castel Nuovo to Piazza del Plebiscito. I swear, I will fight anyone who says that Naples is dirty/ugly/both. Also, everyone was telling me about thieves, but somehow I didn’t get stolen. After I finished a gelato on Piazza, I went to the sea. It was one of the most beautiful feelings I’ve ever experienced. I thought “Screw all the sightseeing, you will do it tomorrow. Enjoy the sea today”, and so I did. I followed Lungomare all the time, passing along Castel dell’Ovo to the Mappatella beach. As it was the first time I saw the sea, the beach was also a whole new experience. Kids, never ever go to the beach in winter shoes, did you know? Because I didn’t. Probably I would watch a sunset there, but I got a bit scared with all those theft-stories and I was in the hostel before it got dark (I watched the sunset on Piazza del Plebiscito though). On Sunday I went from Santa Maria del Carmine, via Via San Biagio dei Librai and Via dei Tribunali to the Cathedral, Piazza Nazionale and train station. I arrived in Bologna at 11pm tired, but happy.

WEEK #4

In the middle of my stay, I moved to my second host family. At the beginning it was a bit weird (just like every time you change your life 180°). Everything changed the next evening, when I stayed home alone with my sisters and their nanny. We had a great time playing games and joking. Although I’m still ashamed that I lose in Mario, which was the game of MY childhood :C. That week another AIESEC meeting took place. Even two meetings, because on February, 14th there was a Global Village. It was a great event, even if I couldn’t enjoy it till the end, because the next day I had to wake up early. For the train. Btw, it was a Valentine’s Day, wasn’t it? I received some sweet cards from my students and it made my heart melt. After school we met with Marie Claire, who showed me something that now I miss a lot - tigelle.

FLORENCE

I woke up with a strong “oh shit” feeling. But as I realised I’m going to Florence, I got up and got ready in 20 minutes. Everyone was still sleeping, though I woke up Chiara when I tried to open the door. It was a cursed day for trains, I think. The train to Florence had too few wagons (I was assigned #9, but there were only 7, though they let me in) and the train from Florence was 40min delayed (I got into precisely on time I should get off in Bologna). I spent a wonderful day, mostly contemplating Il Duomo. Seriously, I took 42 photos of it, which makes almost a half of all photos taken in Florence. I can’t resist to put here at least one:

When I arrived to Ponte Vecchio, I saw a beautiful exhibition of jewelry. Really, it was so beautiful, that I couldn’t stop watching it. I even took a photo of it. As I started to continue my trip I said to myself “Magdalena, you will regret it till the end of your life!” So I came back and bought one bracelet. For 130€. Do I regret it? No. Would I regret if I hadn’t bought it? Yes. I will even show it to you.

One of the most important highlights is the visit to Capelle Medicee - if you ever go to Florence, go there, it costs only 2€ if you’re below 25 (or 26 idk). I enjoyed an amazing view from Giardini Boboli, saw another Neptun Fountain (like, Italians, aren’t you done with them yet???) and took a rest in front of Santa Croce. As a nice finish, I watched the sunset by the Cathedral.

WEEK #5

That Sunday (yes, now I start with Sunday, why not) Chiara woke me up early in the morning and we went to Matilde’s training (she plays rugby and btw Athina plays tennis and Carlotta does skating, I’m really proud of them). After the match (Matilde’s team won ofc) we went to Chiara’s parents. Oh my, I had never thought that people who had never seen me before would treat me as if I were their granddaughter, because that’s what I felt. I don’t remember if I ever had such a dinner, in such an atmosphere. I miss nonna’s tortellini, no one will ever prepare me better ones. In the evening, we played Dixit (a bit of Katowice flashback), the best game ever and don’t even try to say something different. Monday and Tuesday were the days of saying goodbye, since next week these days were supposed to be free. On Wednesday I spent a nice afternoon/evening with Heloísa, my Brasilian friend. We both didn’t know then that we will miss going out so much. On Thursday and on Friday I was a bit sick, I don’t know whether it was just a cold, a beginning of flu or covid-19, which everyone believes me to have had. Nevermind, on Saturday I was completely well.

SAN LUCA

San Luca is a sanctuary located on a hill near Bologna. You can go there on foot, through 666 “portici”. So did I with my host-mom Chiara and Carlotta. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I remember Carlotta running fast up the stairs and being tired when we went down. My sister has a big, pure heart. She gave her chocolate to a homeless man. Also, on that day she became my daughter. At least for the woman in the souvenir shop. (If you ask about Matilde, she was on a soccer game with her dad)

WEEK #6 HOW IT ALL COLLAPSED

Here, I should describe my last week in Italy. But I won’t.

It all started on Sunday morning. I had bought train tickets to Venice and Rimini a few days before. Chiara said “Do you know, there are more and more cases of coronavirus in Venice, in the evening there will be an official communicate. Consider not going there tomorrow”. All I said was “Okay.”. But really, I had no fear of this virus, I even thought I would take advantage of it, because panic means it will be less crowded, no? In the afternoon I went to the centre. In Piazza Maggiore, Via dell’Indipendenza and near the Two Towers people were celebrating the end of the carnival. As I don’t like crowded spaces, I went for a walk near Via San Vitale and Strada Maggiore. As the sun started to set, I decided to go back home. I received a message from AIESEC members that all schools in Emilia Romagna are closed. “A whole free week, cool” I thought. But as the new messages appeared I realised, that there would be no Venice tomorrow. They wrote “Please, don’t travel”. But then it was not my problem. I wanted to get into a bus, but somehow all the bus stops were empty. I had to go back on foot. Have I mentioned that I lived about 5 km from the centre? So, it was a long walk. As I walked, I tried to think what I would do for a whole week as probably the girls will go to grandparents’ and Chiara and Davide have their works. With Chiara we made a decision, I have to go back to Poland. We contacted a few members, about an hour later I had new bus tickets on my phone. We went to a supermarket, it was as if a war was coming. 5 minutes before closing the shop was full of people. And empty on shelves a few minutes later. At 10pm we drove to grandparents to leave the girls there. It was one of the hardest farewells in my life. You can ask why, they are not even your family. Maybe because I remember Carlotta’s words, when they both occupied the whole sofa and I asked “Oh, there’s no longer place for me, is there?” she answered “There will always be a place for you here”. Maybe because I remember Matilde’s head on my shoulder when we were on the way. Maybe because I remember how grandma treated me as her real granddaughter giving me some food and her confitures to Poland. Maybe because all these people showed me more familiar love and affection in these 5 weeks than I received from my real family. Maybe because they still text me asking how I’m doing. Maybe.

I stayed awake till 3am, making my suitcase and handbags. On Monday I went to school, which was closed, to make a closing meeting and to say goodbye to my first host-family. I went for a last coffee and pizza to my favourite restaurant nearby and came back home. I watched tv all the afternoon and had a farewell-pizza as a supper (2 pizzas in a day, very healthy, Magdalena). On Tuesday at 6am I was in a bus heading to Prague and then to Kraków. Instead of watching the sea in Rimini, I was watching some fields somewhere between Kraków and my town.

To make a happy end, it was the time of my life, I’d write something better here but it’s almost 1:30am when I write this, so sorry :C

#it's 1.30 i don't care about tags

[artificialqueens]

Revelation Sunshine, Chapter 1 (Courtney/Vixen) - Veronica

A/N: Oh hi. Welcome to the Galactica sequel that I’ve been planning FOREVER. Like...literally since the time these two started interacting on Twitter, during season 10. Thanks to @artificialpuddle for the beta help, and @aqcitrus for brainstorming with me. <3

And of course, a HUGE thanks to @theartificialdane, for humoring me the whole way through and letting me explore this ship in the Galactica verse. It is mostly fluffy, fluffy shit, which is a bit out of my wheelhouse, but I love them so much and I just want them to be happy.

I think it can easily be read as a stand-alone story. The only thing you need to know from Galactica is that at this point in the story, Courtney is a wildly successful queer pop star and star of a fictional Disney franchise called ‘Glimmer,’ which costars Honey Mahogany as her love interest.

Challenge Notes:

Story is told mostly from Vixen’s POV

Her BFFs: Asia, Monet, Monique, Mayhem (who show up in person in Chapter 2)

The title is a song by Cree Summer. I’ve also made a playlist for this story, which can be found here.

#Vixney4Eva

TW: vague reference to past transphobia, sexual apprehension/nervousness that should in NO WAY be construed as dubcon

***

It was Honey who introduced them. Or, rather, Honey who handed Courtney the book that started everything, on the set of Glimmer 3.

BEWARE WHITE TEARS: Performativity and Racial Justice, by Toni “Vixen” Taylor enthralled Courtney so much that she barely slept for 3 nights, devouring it twice. And then she read the whole thing again, slowly, highlighting the parts that blew her mind the most.

On set, when she just couldn’t stop raving about it, Honey laughed at her.

“So...you liked it?”

“Omigod, yes!” Courtney exclaimed. “I mean, obviously I feel very called out. But in a good way? Like...this is making me rethink everything.”

“That’s good! I thought maybe you’d be offended,” Honey said, adjusting her crown.

“Offended? How long have we known each other?” Courtney giggled, bumping Honey with her hip. It was true: they’d been co-starring in the Glimmer franchise for 8 years at that point.

“Still.”

“But god, Honey, it was just...I mean, I don’t even have any words for how amazing it was. She’s so fucking smart and passionate, and so funny, and everything she says is like…” Courtney shook her head, starry-eyed.

“You should tell her,” Honey said with a saucy wink. “Send her a tweet or something.”

“She’s not gonna care what I think,” Courtney said. “I mean, hello? Chapter 4?”

“Okay, but she’s a professor. She’ll be thrilled that someone learned something. Besides, even if she doesn’t respond, maybe you’ll encourage your fans to read it.”

“That’s true…”

“And maybe get more people to listen to her podcast-”

“She has a podcast?!!” Courtney shrieked excitedly, then whispered, “Sorry,” when she saw the boom operator cringe.

Maybe Honey was right...but what should she say?

***

Vixen felt absolutely silly. There was really no reason for attention from a celebrity to make her so giddy. True, there’d been a phase when she hung on Courtney Act’s every word--but that was years ago. Early in her transition, when she felt like nothing she did was right. When she was desperate for any voice telling her that who she was was okay.

It was different now. She was 30 year old, for fuck’s sake. She didn’t need validation from anyone anymore, especially not a pop-star-come-Disney-princess. At least, that’s what she would have told anyone who asked.

But to herself, she couldn’t deny the thrill she got when she saw that first notification on her phone. The mild anxiety all day as she taught two lectures and graded a handful of thesis proposals--a nagging thought in the back of her mind wondering how she should reply. It wasn’t until late into the evening, after 2 glasses of wine, that she allowed herself to read it again, slowly typing out a reply.

Courtney Act @courtneyact ∙ 15h Just read @professorvixtaylor’s “Beware White Tears” and my mind is BLOWN. Everyone needs to read this game-changing book. E V E R Y O N E!!!! It’s so good, so informative, so powerful. AND I just found out that she has! A! Podcast!! #obsessed <3 <3 <3 <3

Dr. Vixen Taylor @professorvixtaylor ∙ 1m Replying to @courtneyact Glad you found it interesting! Thanks for the plug.

That was fine, right? Very chill. She went to sleep feeling pretty satisfied with herself. It wasn’t until the following morning when she saw Courtney’s response.

Courtney Act @courtneyact ∙ 6h Replying to @professorvixtaylor That is the understatement of the year!!! I LOVED it! You are BRILLIANT. I just listened to the first episode of your podcast and holy shit...it’s phenomenal.

Vixen put down her phone, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It was shallow and cheap--being this enchanted by obviously exaggerated praise. But still...not a bad way to start the day.

***

Vixen was used to fighting. All of her life, it seemed, she’d had to prove herself. Scrape and claw for her voice to be heard. Shout into the void over and over, praying that someone would eventually listen. Demand attention and bang down doors and yell until she was hoarse.

Having someone at Courtney’s level of fame pay attention to her--emphatically describe her as brilliant, incisive, powerful, mind-blowing--Vixen’s impulse, in the beginning, was to lie. To say she didn’t need that kind of validation from anyone, especially a rich, famous, beautiful white girl. The embodiment of privilege. Someone whose coming out was celebrated in the media like a massive human rights achievement. Because how could someone like that ever really get it?

But on the other hand…she had to hand it to Courtney. She had excellent taste in podcasts.

And there was something soothing about a person who didn’t expect her to prove anything. Someone who respected her from the jump, who engaged with her book and her podcasts from a place of dignity, assuming that she knew what she was talking about. She didn’t demand back-up or further explanations when she came across material that was confusing. She did the work herself, looking up the articles and studies Vixen cited, posting them with a quote when something in particular caught her attention.

So reluctantly, over the next month or two, Vixen found herself warming to the idea of a real dialogue. It was January 1st, sitting on her grandmother’s plastic-covered sofa, when Vixen finally bit the bullet and slipped into Courtney’s DMs, so to speak.

Courtney had been tweeting up a storm over the holidays. Gobbling up her podcasts rapidly and hungrily, heaping her and her guests with praise and incidentally, making her subscriber numbers climb. She opened a direct message window, typing out a message that she hoped would make Courtney laugh.

@professorvixtaylor: Alright, already. This is getting embarrassing...

The response came within minutes.

@courtneyact: LOL! Listen, nobody ever accused me of a lack of enthusiasm.

@professorvixtaylor: I bet not ;)

It took one afternoon of DMs before Courtney gave Vixen her phone number. “Twitter’s great, but it’s probably easier to just text, right?”

Well.

Vixen had to admit, she had a point.

***

“So listen,” Latrice said, heaving a deep sigh. “I hate to be the one to tell you this. Like, I really, really hate it.”

“Oh shit,” Courtney said, wrapping herself in a blanket and preparing herself for whatever horrible news her manager was about to deliver. “Go ahead…”

“This isn’t coming from me, okay? It’s coming from Disney.”

“Just tell me, Latrice. What? Is the tour cancelled? Do they hate the new video? Do we need to do reshoots? What?”

“No, all that’s fine. They just...they’re a little uncomfortable about your interactions with this Vixen person.”

“Why?” Courtney sat up, ready to get extremely annoyed, extremely fast.

“Well, it’s just...she’s apparently got some very radical ideas, and-”

“So? Maybe they’re amazing ideas? Have you read the book?” Courtney countered.

Latrice sighed.

“Courtney, listen. It’s just...not what they want while they’re trying to promote this last movie.”

“It’s a movie that ends with a gay interracial marriage!” Courtney exclaimed. “So why the fuck do they have a problem with me complimenting a Black political science professor on Twitter?! This is beyond idiotic, Latrice, you have to admit that! And by the way, I’m not gonna stop. She’s amazing and her book is important and more people should know about her, and if they want to fire me, then fine!” Courtney’s heart was racing as she tried to catch her breath.

There was a pause before Latrice spoke again.

“I assumed this would be your response.”

“Yeah, so. Now what?!”

“Now, I tell them that you feel very strongly about this, and that you’re not breaching any contract, and if they try to silence you on this issue, you’re prepared for a very public, very embarrassing fight,” Latrice said.

“Okay…” Courtney waited for the catch.

“I’m pretty sure they’ll drop it.”

“Just like that?” Courtney asked, confused. She’d gotten herself well and riled up, prepared for a real battle.

“Yeah, baby,” Latrice said. “Just like that. Chalk it up to white privilege.”

Courtney couldn’t help but laugh at that, head falling back on the sofa cushions.

“Good one, ma’am.”

After they hung up, Courtney opened Instagram, delighted that Vixen had updated her story. It was just a casual picture, her and two other professors getting ready to speak at a round table discussion. Courtney smiled, replying to the picture with heart eyes and the question, ‘Is that top from my collection?’

She responded a little while later, while Courtney was on the elliptical, saying, ‘I was hoping you’d notice. ;)’

Courtney giggled to herself, wondering when she’d get to meet this amazing, glowingly beautiful woman. All she wanted was to finally talk, face to face. Maybe in the spring, when her tour hit Chicago? Which, as far as Courtney was concerned, couldn’t happen soon enough.

***

It may very well have been a love letter, Vixen thought, finding her cheeks blazing hot at the thought. She’d woken up to a video posted on Courtney’s Twitter feed. “How To Be a Race Ally.”

Vixen watched the whole video with a healthy amount of skepticism. It was great, actually. Humble and informative. Cleverly incorporating some of the points from her podcast (with proper credit given) and even some things she’d said over text recently (also with credit, and a wink straight into the camera that made Vixen feel things she wasn’t prepared for at 7:30 in the morning).

Dr. Vixen Taylor @professorvixtaylor ∙ 1m Replying to @courtneyact Okay fine, you can come to the cookout.

As usual, Courtney's response was lightning fast, an emoji wearing a party hat and about 10 exclamation points. Vixen couldn’t resist teasing her a little bit more.

Dr. Vixen Taylor @professorvixtaylor ∙ 1m Replying to @courtneyact I don’t know how vegan-friendly it’ll be, though.  

Courtney Act @courtneyact ∙ 1m Replying to @professorvixtaylor You really think I’m there for the food? ;P

Vixen rose from her bed, an almost giddy feeling filling her chest. She really needed to calm the fuck down. What was with this silly schoolgirl behavior? And on a public platform? Every interaction ran the risk of absolutely ruining the street cred she’d spent years building up. (Monet was already making it her personal mission to screenshot every exchange and then tease her mercilessly, and Asia had begun to join in.)

Besides, what were the odds that it would ever be anything but a short-lived flirtation? Courtney was bound to become captivated by something else soon. An animal rights group, perhaps. Or funding for the arts in public schools. There were a billion issues competing for her attention. How long would Vixen’s moment in the sun possibly last?

And yet, when Courtney tweeted that she was on her way to New York, Vixen found herself taking a shot of liquid courage and then sending a text.

VIXEN: Hey...how long are you gonna be in New York?

COURTNEY: A couple of weeks, why?

VIXEN: Well, I have a conference at Columbia on February 23, and then I’m gonna stay for a few days. Maybe we could meet up?

COURTNEY: YES

COURTNEY: I mean, sure. Sounds lovely. Tell me what day you’re free. <3

***

It was strange, seeing Courtney in person after all this time. As much as Vixen enjoyed chatting with her, and as validating as it was to get so much attention, she had reminded herself over and over again that this was all just friendly banter. A bit of lighthearted flirting, maybe, but the possibility of a genuine romantic connection was absolutely out of the question.

But then.

When Courtney first emerged from the elevators, smile bright, it was like time ceased to be linear. Nothing...not pictures, not video, not even that concert she’d attended all those years ago, prepared her for how heart-stoppingly beautiful she was in person.

Vixen stood, in slow motion, knees shaking a little, suddenly hugely aware of her height. Was Courtney always this little? Why had Vixen worn heels?

It must have taken Courtney less than 10 seconds to cross the lobby to where Vixen stood, but for some reason, it felt like 10 years. Excruciatingly slow, and yet somehow, Vixen was still caught off guard as she bounded up and grasped both of her hands.

“Thank you so much for coming!” Courtney exclaimed, that dazzling smile still on her face. “It’s amazing to finally be in the same room!”

“Yeah, it’s…” Vixen offered a smile of her own, swallowing hard. Her hands were warm and soft, and as Vixen gazed down at her, she could feel her heart racing faster than ever. “How was your day?”

“Crazy…” Courtney linked an arm through Vixen’s, leading her towards the hotel bar.

It took a concerningly short time for all the weirdness to dissipate, for Vixen to forget that she was across the table from a celebrity, a person she’d been following for years, a person that she’d idolized at one point in her life.

She was just a girl. Granted, she was a beautiful girl, but one who seemed incredibly excited, even honored, to be talking to Vixen—about her book, her podcast, her life. Where she came from and what she cared about and who she looked up to. A girl who wanted to get to know her.

After awhile, when Vixen was finally relaxed enough to really open up, she told Courtney about hearing ‘Kaleidoscope’ for the first time. How, at that point in her transition, it made all the difference in the world to see Courtney so open about the fluidity of gender and sexuality. To hear those magical words. ‘This is who we are.’

Courtney nodded along, listening to her, tears filling her eyes. She covered Vixen’s hand with her own, and said, “I needed it too.”

As the hours ticked by, they talked about everything. Passion, art, travel, identity. She wanted to know when Vixen began to question her own gender, how she knew that she wanted to transition. She was delighted by the story of her brief foray into drag during the early college years, the source of her now permanent nickname. In spite of all the questions (or maybe because of them), for once, Vixen felt like she wasn’t on the defensive. She found herself being more sincere and honest about all of it than she’d been in a long time.

“I’m not usually this open,” she admitted at one point.

Courtney laughed, eyes glittering, and said, “I’m usually too open.”

“I think you’re just right,” Vixen replied, giving her a generous smile.

They talked about their childhoods. How much she loved pretend and fantasy as a kid.

“I went through a phase—that’s generous, it was like 3 years—where I really wanted to be a dragon. I had this dumb...dragon hoodie, that I wore all the time. And when I finally grew out of it, I cried.”

“Aww,” Courtney said, reaching for her hand. “I bet you were adorable.”

“I think I just really, really didn’t want to be me.”

Courtney took in a slow, deep breath, and then let it out even slower.

“I’m not gonna pretend that I really get it. Everything you’re talking about. I don’t know if I ever could. But...I get that part.”

Vixen raised an eyebrow.

“You? How do you get it?” Vixen let out a chuckle. “I’m not trying to judge you, but I just...look at you. You’re this perfect, sparkly princess. Everything the world wants a girl to be.”

“Yeah...I see what you’re saying. But...sometimes it feels like that’s all the world wants. Is the sparkly princess part. And I’m more than that. Or, I hope I am. But…” Courtney trailed off, wrinkling her nose. “Do I sound really dumb?”

“You don’t sound dumb. You sound like a very intelligent, thoughtful...sparkly princess.”

Courtney threw back her head and laughed.

“I can’t believe you laughed at that,” Vixen said with a shake of her head. “It was such a cheap shot.”

“Well, I’m an easy laugh,” Courtney said, shrugging unapologetically.

“Yeah I’ve heard that about you,” Vixen couldn’t help saying, and Courtney’s giggles continued.

They stared at each other for a few moments, eyes burning in the dim light, with matching, goofy grins decorating their faces, until Vixen broke, shaking her head.

“This is so surreal…”

“How so?” Courtney asked, voice lilting in a way that felt almost like a tease, resting a chin on her hand.

Vixen hesitated. It felt so cliché to say that it was because Courtney was famous, or because she once cried at her concert when she was 23.

“I mean...you’re not even really my type,” she finally answered with a small shrug.

“Oh yeah? What’s your type?”

“Ummm...I normally go for curvy Latinas,” Vixen said, lashes fluttering.

Courtney’s eyes widened, smile deepening, as she exclaimed, “Oh my god, me too!”

They both started laughing again, clinking glasses for good measure.

“So, um...do you have to go back to Chicago tomorrow?”

“Actually, no. I decided to stay a few more days,” Vixen replied. “See some shows, meet up with some friends. There’s this museum in Brooklyn that I’ve been dying to check out for years.”

“What museum?” Courtney asked.

“It’s, uh, called the Museum of Contemporary African Diasporan Arts,” Vixen said. “Kind of a mouthful but-”

“Sounds great. I wish I could see it.”

“You wanna come? I’m going tomorrow after lunch.”

“Ugh, I wish!” Courtney said, stretching her neck. “But the press tour schedule is insane. I’m doing two more interviews tomorrow, and then I fly to LA to kick off the tour.”

“Tough breaks.” Vixen tried, unsuccessfully, not to sound sarcastic.

“Listen, I’m not complaining. I’m very lucky.” Courtney smiled, tilting her head. “But it would’ve been cool to see that museum.”

“Next time,” Vixen promised.

“I’m holding you to that,” Courtney said, gaze fixed on Vixen’s face as she downed the rest of her drink.

Vixen gave a small nod, finding her eyes hypnotic. Surreal indeed.

They ordered yet another round as hotel patrons trickled out, crowd thinning, closing time approaching. By the time they stood up to leave, they’d knocked back quite a few--more than Vixen realized at the time. She grabbed Courtney’s arm to steady her as the blonde swayed in her heels.

“You alright?”

“Mmhmm…” Courtney gazed up at her, lashes fluttering.

“Do you want me to help you upstairs?”

“Okay…”

In the elevator, Courtney wrapped her arms around Vixen’s waist, leaning a head on her shoulder. Vixen’s heart hammered in her chest, one hand gripping the railing for support.

At the door, Courtney looked up at her, eyes bright, breathing out, “You know, we don’t have to be up until 10 tomorrow…”

“What are you…‘we?’”

It took Vixen a moment to catch on to her train of thought, a wave of nerves washing over her.

“Listen. Um. I think you’re great,” she began, wincing as she saw Courtney’s blissful expression crumble. “But...I just, I never hook up with girls who’ve been drinking. It’s just…”

Vixen didn’t want to explain the whole story. The girl in the lesbian bar, years ago, who danced with her all night, flirting and rubbing against her, inviting her back to her apartment. Only, when they began to undress, and it became clear that Vixen’s body was a little different, the girl flipped a switch. Went from a delightful buzz to drunken rage. Accused her of taking advantage, called her...Vixen didn’t even want to think about that. Or about how she’d left her apartment as fast as possible, terrified and choking back tears. How at home, she’d collapsed into Asia’s arms and sobbed most of the night, wondering if she’d ever fit in, anywhere.

Courtney wasn’t that girl in the bar—Vixen knew that. But she was clearly tipsy, and some things, some decisions, required a clear head.

“It’s not you,” she finished lamely. “You’re amazing.”

Courtney nodded, swallowing her disappointment like a champ and saying, “You’re amazing.”

Before she left, Vixen leaned in and brushed her lips against Courtney’s cheek.

She walked toward the elevator, regret stinging the back of her throat. She had no idea how long it would be before they saw each other again, and suddenly her arbitrary rules based on one shitty asshole in a bar 7 years ago seemed...absurd. She turned back around. Courtney was still leaning in her open doorway, watching her walk away.

“Hey, how drunk are you, actually? Can you recite the Pledge of Allegiance?” Vixen asked.

“No—” Courtney said, brow furrowed.

“Oh.” Vixen’s heart deflated a bit.

“—Because we don’t have the Pledge of Allegiance in Australia.”

“Right,” Vixen laughed.

“But what about, um, okay...so...here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face. You got G like MC who likes it on a. Easy V doesn't-”

Vixen strode forward and silenced her with a kiss, soft and sweet, almost chaste at first, both of them giggling. As the kiss deepened, Vixen grabbed Courtney around the waist and pushed her backward into the room, letting the door slam shut behind them.

Vixen was so enamoured that she barely registered Courtney’s massive hotel suite, the entry hall or huge living room that Courtney led her through on the way to the bedroom. Guiding her by her hips to the bed, Courtney pushed her into a seated position and stood between her legs, chasing her lips as she took hold of her collar, fingering the little pearl buttons down the front of her shirt dress.

“Is this okay?” she asked, and Vixen nodded.

“Yeah.” She watched Courtney’s heavy-lidded eyes as she quickly opened the buttons, skin prickling as she pushed it off Vixen’s shoulders. She kissed Vixen again, deep and messy, sucking on her bottom lip.

Panting, Vixen reached around, fumbling for Courtney’s zipper. Once she pulled it down a few inches, the cotton dress easily came off over her head, and then there she was, standing in front of Vixen in nothing but a pair of baby blue panties.

Vixen swallowed, eyes sweeping over Courtney’s body, dying to touch her but nervous as all fuck.

“Listen, um...I should tell you…”

Courtney paused mid-way through opening Vixen’s belt to look at her curiously, face earnest and alert. The perfect student.

Vixen sighed. The fact that Courtney was so willing to listen, so considerate, should have been a bonus. But in this moment, it just made her feel startlingly inadequate. She hated this. The feeling of not being enough, or being too much. She didn’t even know anymore. All she knew was that she was about to make herself more vulnerable than she’d ever been, and she was terrified.

“So...Okay, um. I guess...it’s just been a long time since...I was with a girl.”

“Tell me about it,” Courtney said, grinning.

“No. A really long time,” Vixen said.

“Okay. Does that mean you don’t want-”

“No!” Vixen burst out, a little too emphatically, and then lowered her eyes bashfully, adding in a calmer voice, “No, I want to be with you, I just...might be a little out of practice.” It was an understatement, a lie of omission that unsettled Vixen’s stomach a bit. But it was all she felt comfortable with revealing at the moment, and she hoped that she’d be forgiven later.

“Hmm…” Courtney took Vixen’s face in her hands, tilting her chin up. “I think I can work with that…”

She bent down to kiss her again, soft as a whisper, fingers stroking Vixen’s cheekbones, before pulling back and gazing down at her.

“God,” Courtney breathed, “You are so beautiful.”

Vixen took in a shaky breath, her hands finally lifting to slide around Courtney’s hips. Something about the way Courtney looked at her was different than anything she’d ever experienced. She’d been the object of lust before, and sometimes very much enjoyed it. But this was more than that. She felt more than sexy, more even than beautiful. She felt seen.

But for once, rather than get all wrapped up in anxiety about what it meant, Vixen acted on instinct. She gripped Courtney's waist and pulled her forward, flinging her onto her back on bed. Courtney squealed delightedly, pulling her along.

Courtney smiled up at her, reaching a hand out but then pausing, letting her fingers rest on Vixen’s shoulder.

“Am I allowed to touch your hair? ‘Cause I’ve heard...”

Vixen couldn’t help laughing as she nodded and said, “That rule doesn’t really apply here.”

“Okay,” Courtney giggled, fingering her twists gently.

Vixen turned her head, pressing a kiss to Courtney’s wrist, then slowly moving up her arm, and finally nuzzling into her shoulder. Her skin smelled fresh and almost sweet, like she’d recently been in a doughnut shop. It wasn’t sugary like some kind of food-based perfume or soap, just a gentle, vague deliciousness that Vixen became addicted to immediately, burying her face into her neck to inhale deeply.

She found a soft, tender spot, just below Courtney’s ear, that made her sigh when kissed, and began to suck. Courtney inhaled sharply, hips thrusting up against Vixen’s, hands tightening in her hair.

“You like that?” Vixen asked, emboldened, hands sliding up from her waist to scratch gently at her ribcage.

“Uh huh,” Courtney breathed, arching up again as Vixen kissed her, thumb brushing over her hardened nipple. A whimper fell from her lips.

Vixen’s dress was half off at this point, pushed down around her waist, and when Courtney’s fingers began to trail lightly up and down her back, she shivered. Courtney pushed the dress further down, wriggling it over Vixen’s hips to her thighs, and Vixen pulled it off the rest of the way.

She was expecting to feel uncomfortably exposed, both of them now just in their panties—a situation she hadn’t found herself in with a woman is a very fucking long time. Especially a woman she liked this much. But instead of feeling awkward, she found her pulse racing with excitement, nearly breathless in anticipation of what might come next.

She realized that she’d been frozen for a few moments when Courtney raised herself up on her elbows and asked, “Are you alright?”

Vixen nodded, and Courtney sat up further, reaching out to touch her cheek.

“You want to take a break? Slow things down?”

“No,” Vixen said simply, slipping her fingers under the sides of Courtney’s panties. Her hips lifted, allowed Vixen to slide them off easily, heart in her throat when she saw how glistening wet she was already. She knew that she was potentially in over her head, but there was also a strong urge to keep going, pulse racing with desire.

“Come here.” Courtney stretched out her arm, pulling Vixen in for a kiss, tongues tangling together. She rolled Vixen over, onto her back, grinding down against her.

As much as Vixen wanted to please her, ceding control to Courtney felt liberating. She watched through heavy-lidded eyes as Courtney lavished her with affection, layering kisses against her skin. When a warm tongue swirled over her nipple, her hips jerked up, a stifled moan escaping from her throat.

Courtney sucked harder on her nipple, hands sliding down her torso, lips following as they trailed over Vixen’s tense abdomen. She hooked her fingers into the sides of Vixen’s panties and then looked up questioningly.

“Can I...?”

“Go ahead,” Vixen replied, straining to raise her hips, finding her core muscles in a weakened state, skin so flushed and hot that for a moment, she barely remembered to be self-conscious. Until Courtney began to slide her panties down, and suddenly she remembered exactly what she’d been dreading. When the reality of who she was would confront Courtney, more than theoretical, more than an idea.

Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she watched Courtney’s face. If she had any qualms about a girl with a dick, she certainly didn’t show it. She simply continued to suck soft kisses into her skin, warm hands resting on her thighs.

Vixen finally relaxed backwards, eyes falling shut. She let go of all her worries, all her stupid insecurities. At least for now. At least while Courtney took her dick into her mouth, tongue flicking delicately at her. Vixen’s hips thrust upwards, hands gripping the comforter tightly, moans dripping from her lips like honey.

It had been so achingly long since anyone had touched her this way. Maybe no one ever had, she realized as she arched into the soft caresses. She’s certainly never experienced this kind of loving attention from a woman, a woman treating her like she was precious and beautiful, turning her into a gasping, quivering mess. Vixen felt herself falling apart quickly, losing control, nearly gone before she had the wherewithal to choke out a pained warning.

“I’m-I’m gonna-”

“Mmhmmm…” Courtney made no move to stop, swirling her tongue again, then taking her deeper, sucking harder.

“Oh fuck,” Vixen moaned, hips pumping uncontrollably as she came, gasping for air.

The way Courtney’s hands stroked her thighs, continued to suck softly as she melted backwards into the pillows, every muscle in her body going slack--the small part of her that was still conscious shivered with delight, thrilled with the feeling of being spoiled.

It wasn’t until her body was completely still, bones feeling like jelly, when Courtney began to work her way up her body once again, hands sliding over her skin until she came nose to nose with her once again.

Courtney smiled, kissing her cheeks, down along her jaw, the corner of her mouth. Lips rousing her from a state of sheer exhaustion into warm, sleepy affection. Her hands circled Courtney's waist.

“How are you feeling, baby?” Courtney murmured.

“Uh huh.”

Courtney giggled, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger as she pressed more kisses against her.

Vixen sighed contentedly, pulling her in close, not caring how clingy and pathetic she might seem, just wanting the warmth of Courtney’s body against her own. Courtney snuggled into her arms, slipping to the side of her, legs still tangled together.

After a few slow, lazy kisses, Vixen started to sense a shift. Courtney’s breath grew hot and ragged, hips rutting against her. She cautiously moved a hand down, working it in between her thighs, fingers seeking out her wet heat.

“Show me what you want,” she urged, desire to give Courtney pleasure finally outweighing her fear of looking like an amateur.

Courtney lifted her head, giving her a sleepy grin and reaching down to guide her. She patiently showed Vixen exactly where to touch her, what to do to tease her, when to speed up and circle her clit, how deep for her fingers to go and exactly how to curl them to make her tremble. Vixen followed her breathless instructions, guided by Courtney’s own hand, thrilled at the way her body responded.

Soon, Courtney’s eyes were rolled back, muscles straining, tits brushing against Vixen’s chest as she thrusted against her fingers, fucking down into them, breathy moans music to Vixen’s ears. Her hips moved faster and faster until she stopped, whimpering, just barely grinding against the heel of Vixen’s hand, lips pressed to her neck.

Vixen had never made a girl come before, and it was so much more beautiful than she’d imagined, from the way her lashes fluttered against her cheeks to the slick sheen of sweat on her forehead, to her ass flexing, muscles still twitching against Vixen’s fingers. And the best part, the way she looked up at Vixen at the end, eyes locked with hers as the waves of pleasure radiated through her body, fingers wound tightly into her hair.

“Fuck,” Courtney sighed, collapsing against Vixen’s body, trapping her hand for a few moments before realizing it and letting her wriggle free with a sleepy laugh. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Vixen said, tilting her chin up for a kiss. Her whole body had suddenly become soft and pliant, and all Vixen wanted was to wrap her into an embrace. She wasn’t expecting it to feel this intimate. A part of her had even worried that this whole affair would be wrapped up in a one-night stand. But as Courtney cuddled against her, heart still hammering, she felt closer to her than ever. “I should probably tell you…”

“Mmm?”

“What I said earlier, about not being with a girl in a long time?” Vixen swallowed. “I uh...I haven’t really had a girlfriend since high school. And I guess I’ve come close since then, but never really went through with it...as me. The real me.”

Courtney lifted her head, fingers trailing down Vixen’s arm, a smile playing on her lips.

“Thank you for trusting me with the real you,” she said softly.

Vixen nodded, not sure what more there was to add, when a clap of thunder outside scared the living shit out of her, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. So much for a warm and fuzzy moment.

Courtney laughed, pulling up the covers and cocooning them both, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” she said, snuggling tight against Vixen’s body.

“You better,” Vixen replied.

#rpdr fanfiction #the vixen #courtney act #honey mahogany #latrice royale #courtney x vixen #trans!vixen #fluff #smut #mild angst #lesbian au #galactica au #fic challenge #black girl magic fic #diversity fic #revelation sunshine #veronica #trans character #tw mention of past transphobia