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Welcome to the Universe (Jammy) - The Final Chapter: “The end of the beginning”

We hope this piece gives a little deserved closure to our beloved Jammy and where they are now. Sammy has a few surprises in store, familiar faces and old friends paying a visit! Thanks for reading and all the support. x T&C

**Welcome to the Universe

Epilogue: “The end of the beginning”**

“Dear Diary, where to begin? 10 years ago I was given the unique opportunity to work with a talented band and travel the world. How can I put into words all the experiences and emotions I've gathered through the years? I've started this journey with you all on April 9th 2010 when I was 25 years old, I was engaged at the time, with a long-term vision of the life path I was supposed to follow. Until a certain rock band crossed my path and, changed my entire life for the better.

During my life on the road I love meeting up with each and every one of you. I was embraced right from the start, welcomed straight into the warm yet crazy dysfunctional family also known as The Echelon. I'm forever grateful for all you have done for me and how you entrust me with your stories, now it’s our time to give you a rare insight in ours. It’s been a while since our last interaction, and a lot has happened. Life is not what you expect, it’s made up of the most unexpected twists and turns.

April, 2011 Cussing underneath my breath I slam through the doors leading into the venue’s foyer, crowded with fans still buzzing on their concert high. Hitting speed dial again I bring my phone to my ear while making my way across the venue. Rounding the corner I smack into a fan at high speed, making us both bounce back. Picking up her bag, her piercing blue eyes meet mine, midnight black hair pulled back into a pony tail “oh god, I’m so sorry” I exclaim “It’s okay” she assures me with a smile. “Nice tattoo!” I say pointing out the Mithra tattoo on her upper left arm, peeking from underneath her slipped cardigan. “Thanks” a cramped smile forms her plum tinted lips while shrugging her cardigan back on her shoulders. Continuing my sprint I can’t help but ponder she looks familiar. “I’m sorry I’m late” I gush out of breath breaking through the doors finally reaching their dressing room. Shannon throws a bottle of water my way which I eagerly accept and take a big gulp. “Can’t believe you haven’t broken an ankle wearing those killer heels around the arena.” Tomo laughs. Tugging the hem of my shirt dress I fake a bow. “We need to get to the meet and Greet” I point out matter of factly “You’re actually late” Jared eyes me as it trails from my lips “Isn’t that going to be your fault?” Pulling up a brow I hurl the water bottle back at Shannon who’s started laughing at the remark. Throwing me a kissy face Jared passes me with a slap on the ass. “Instead of throwing a fit, we should go, we don’t want to be even more late.” “Oh you-” slapping him across the back I roll my eyes and lead them to the meet and greet lodge. Luckily the fans were still all excited to meet the guys despite the delay. Shannon instantly turned into a goof spreading himself out on the floor while Jared started telling tales. Since time was cut shorter they quickly start their picture moment. I smile noticing the little boy that caught one of Shannon’s drumsticks. “Oh seems like you’re taking home a treasure from this gig” blushing he nods his head “Can I take a picture of you holding it out in victory?” glancing up in excitement he seeks approval of his father. “Sure” the young man squeezes the kids shoulder and I quickly snap his picture as it soon is his turn to have his picture taken with the guys. Obviously Shannon notices he’s caught one of his sticks and picks the boy up planting him up on his shoulders striking a triumph pose. I laugh at the display and shake my head. Jared high fives the boy and watches as he jolts to his father beaming with joy. As his eyes cross those of his father I notice Jared tense up, looking startled. His gaze wonders to Shannon next to him, who’s busy admiring a trinity skull seal tattoo on a girl’s neck. It takes a split second and he composes himself quickly. When the meet and greet is over Jared slips from the room immediately “Jared” I walk after him but he keeps on walking “Hey” grabbing his arm he stops and looks at me “What is going on? Earlier you looked like you’d seen a ghost?” wiping his brow he sighs deeply “I’m sorry Sammy, I’ve got some unfinished business I need to attend, I won’t be long.” Sucking my lower lip between his he kisses me short but deeply. “be back soon.” And without further explanation he marches off. Deciding to skip the party for one of the crew’s birthday I head to the busses and start my draft for tonight’s entry for the tour diary. “I can’t believe you kept this from me. From us.” Jared’s voice is tense as I hear the bus door open. I hear him fling his phone across the bus and hiss a curse. “Jared?” startled he turns around, obviously not having expected someone to be on the bus. “Is everything alright?” I arch a brow as he pulls me close. A deep groan escaping his lips. Lacing my arms around his waist he captures my lips in a wet and greedy kiss. "yes, knowing we’re alone on this bus, everything seems perfect" he grins, extracting a soft giggle from my lips as his hands slip underneath my oversized shirt dress cupping and squeezes my ass. Tangling his fingers through my messy locks I chuckle resting my hands on his damp chest. Scrunching his nose his fingers start unbuttoning the shirt to cup my boobs firmly while stealing a kiss. “Let’s take advantage of this alone time" smacking my ass once more he pulls away and hurls me over his shoulder stalking me upstairs.

I nervously twirl my lanyard between my fingers making Shannon laugh while I walk off the stage. “Such a fangirl” he nudges my arm with a grin as I just announced ‘Best Female’ at the MTV Video music awards. “I think I’m gonna be sick” I mumble turning around holding my hand against my mouth as I dry heave “You’re adorable, shouldn’t have had those dumplings before the show!” he laughs handing me his water bottle for a sip. As the next performer is announced we head to the side of the stage. “I’m very curious about this act, apparently there’s a mystery guest.” Shannon comes to stand next to me crossing his arms and huffs “Eminem is legendary, he doesn’t need a guest.” he says as the light dims and the venue goes dark. A white beam illuminates a piano, sat at it a busty blonde wearing a sparkling silver and black leather bodysuit with plunging neckline, fishnet stockings and leather knee-high stilettos. * ‘On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil - I don't know why I'm still surprised’ Finishing the first verse she pauses for a minute ‘Even angels have their wicked schemes, And you take that to new extremes. But you'll always be my hero, even though you've lost your mind.” Whipping her blonde locks from her face she gets up from the piano and walks across the stage. It is then that I recognize her tattoo’s, more precisely the Mithra one on her upper arm. “hey I think she was at a gig” I mumble enthusiastic turning to Shannon who’s gone pale observing the scene in front of him. * “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well that's alright because I like the way it hurts” “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” Shannon curses under a breath. “Did you know about this!?” he asks with a fixed stare. “Know what?” I ask confused pulling my vibrating phone from my pocket, taking note of Jared’s name and answer it backing away to a quieter spot while the song erupts as Eminem joins her on stage. * ‘Hush baby, speak softly, tell me I'll be sorry. - That you pushed me into the coffee table last night,So I can push you off me - Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me’ “Is Shannon with you?” his voice is tense and edged “Yes, why?” as the song peaks its finale and the arena falls dark. Shannon stalks over to me and without any explanation yanks my all access badge from the back pocket of my blazer dress “What the fuck Shannon” I sneer at him grasping hold of his arm but he shrugs out of my grip. “Sammy. Don’t.” he hisses, eyes blazing like I’ve never seen them before. Ending my call to Jared without explanation I run a hand through my hair and stalk after Shannon through the catacombs of the venue. Finding him stood in front of a backstage dressing room he looks lost, hurt and most of all confused. Drawing in a deep breath I compose myself, steadying myself with the palm of my hand against the door and hold my finger out at Shannon who turns to me. After a few seconds and without granting him a word I slap him hard across the cheek, yanking my lanyard from his hand. “Shannon what the fuck.” I demand an explanation. Right in that moment the door opens and a young guy stares me right in the face, the look in his eyes reading like a deer caught in headlights as his eyes fall upon Shannon. I remember him, long blonde locks tousled into a messy man bun, two impressive full sleeves across his muscled arms. He was at the meet and greet a few weeks back. Behind him the girl that just took the stage sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. “Kristie.” Shannon breathes, his voice broken. Her head shoots up hearing her name, teary eyes connecting with his. Pulling the blonde wig from her head she reveals her dark locks. The young guy places his palm against Shannon’s chest “Can we talk for a minute?” Shannon huffs eying him, not impressed as he pushes past him. Kristie sighs “Alec, it’s okay.” I stumble a little to the left as an energetic boy runs past me towards her. “Mommy don’t cry, you were amazing!” Jumping onto her lap the boy smothers her with kisses and wipes her tears. She smiles and runs her hand through his hair “Oh my number one fan!” Planting a kiss on his lips she motions Alec who in responds takes the little boy’s hand and moves outside to watch the live feed. “You fucking ghosted me Kristie” Shannon walks over to her looking defeated “I know- i’m sorry” she sighs deeply standing up, a painful look on her face “Sorry!? Thats all you’ve got to say?” grabbing her arm firmly he shakes her and pushes her against the wall “SHANNON.” I bark at him marching over and push him off her. I never encountered this side of him before and to be honest, it scared me a little. She sighs deeply burying her face in her hands “What did you expect Shannon?” her voice is but a whisper as she wipes her tears and sits down on the couch. “The night we had our fight, I hated you, I hated myself, I… I was ready to take my own life.” She takes a gulp from her bottle of water. Shannon sighs, uncomfortably fidgeting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Kristie I regret every word I said that night. I...” he shakes his head. She looks up, regret touching her eyes as they meet his. “This thing we had, it was unhealthy, it was violent, abusive, sex-driven...”she falls silent and a soft laugh escapes her lips as she rolls her eyes “We fucking loved it, shit , there’s even proof of that.” My eyes grow wide as realization sinks in, the kinky tape. It’s her. “Shannon, I don’t regret us… I regret what we became..” She shakes her head softly, her eyes closed and exhales a breath “But I don’t regret the decision I made after recovering from the overdose” nervously she rubs the palms of her hands together and rethinks her words. “Our beautiful mistake, my biggest blessing” her eyes wonder up to find the little boy roaming the halls. It takes a split second for Shannon to register her confession as he goes pale. Jared bursts through the door, eyes scanning the situation in the room, a breath leaving his lips as his eyes land upon Kristie. Shannon looks broken and defeated and silence falls upon the room “You told me she lost the baby” he hisses at Jared. “I needed a stable and safe environment, not only for my sake but most importantly my child’s sake.” “Kristina why did you cut us out of your life, we could have h-” Jared asks but she interupts him “I’m not proud of my lies.” She shakes her head while Shannon paces around “I loved you Shannon. I still do…” Getting up from the couch she walks over to him, touching his shoulder “I’m sorry” A flash of anger washes over his face as he turns to face her. His composure tells me he’s doing all he can to hold himself together. “So why now then, after all those years? He’s five. You need a famous daddy to milk?” A sour smile touches her lips as she pops several pills to her lips and swallows them with a gulp. Crossing his arms Shannon cocks his head unapprovingly “I want to learn from my mistakes. I know we’ve both changed...” “And you’re forgetting to mention you’re sick.” Jared crosses his arms. “Ah yes, demons from my past have come to haunt me. I’m enjoying my little fucked up party for as long as I still can” She falls silent and shrug “I’ve got no one but myself to blame for this mess.” “Fuck Kris.” Shannon swallows hard “You should have told me sooner” She tilts her head tucking a strand of hair behind her ear “I know. Can we- can we start over? Learn from our mistakes? For our son’s sake? I know I’m asking a-lot and this is overwhelming... But he’s been asking questions about his father lately..” Shannon swallows hard as she touches his arm “Please, I’m not expecting nor demanding you to take up your responsibilities as a father. I just want him to get to know you.” cupping his cheek Kristie presses her lips soft yet passionate against his. Shannon gazes into her eyes with tears of his own and whispers an apology brushing his finger along her lower lip before pulling her in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry things when the way they did” he whispers and swallows hard as Alec walks in with the boy. Placing her finger on his lip she silences him. “Let’s look at the future now, the past is behind us. Let’s make better mistakes from now on.” He nods and she motions towards the boy. “Shannon, this is Ryder.” It is then that I match the little puzzle in my head. Alec and Ryder were at the meet and greet, Shannon had already met his son without even realizing it.

There are two sides to every story and you need to hear both to know all the facts. We may not always agree or like what we discover. Some secrets are deep and sometimes they are filled with regret. Shannon’s relationship with Kara had to endure a few storms dealing with the revelation of his son and rekindling his relationship with Kristie on and off tour. He wanted to make up for his mistakes and rebuild the lost trust and their friendship, for the sake of their son. He voluntary filed a declaration of Paternity taking up his parental responsibilities. Kristie had started working an album independently, filled with powerful, painfully honest songs about toxic relationships, battling addiction, accepting herself and her demons. One night when Shannon invited Kristie over to talk about collaborating on one of her songs their passion reignited, triggering suppressed emotions, seeking solace, coping with intense grief over past and future. Their intimacy was intense, raw and emotional. They didnt regret their actions that night, but they agreed it would be the last time, focusing on a healthy, stable and amicable partnership in raising their son. His relationship with Kara crumbled under the pressure as she already battled her way through her own insecurities dealing with Kristie and Ryder.

When dating a 'celebrity', you never choose the public opinion that comes with it, and you’re never ready for it either. ‘Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess.’, that quote sadly hits close to home. Jared guided me through my mess, my own battles. ‘Pain shapes a woman into a warrior' the quote traces my spine. Jared has never been a celebrity to me, I never had heard of Thirty seconds to mars nor him, till the day I signed on for the tour diary. I never intended to fall for the celebrity lead singer/actor. Working together 24/7 we established a friendship, that eventually blossomed and we developed a greater depth of love. It stands for the terror I went through experiencing domestic abuse, sexual assault and stalking by the man I once loved. It reminds me of my fight for the truth, my fight for freedom and my fight for survival that nearly killed me and my unborn child.

May 8th, 2011 Intense lightning wakes me early in the morning, the sound of thunder growling and rain drizzling down the window breaks the silence of the night. It's 5 am. Reaching for my cellphone it buzzes in the palm of my hand "hey stranger" I smile at the screen. "good morning Samantha" Jared smiles "did I wake you?" I shake my head adjusting my pillow as I sit upright. "GOOD MORNING SAMMY!" the screen shakes and a very chipper Shannon appears on screen. "morning Shan" I chuckle adjusting my Cami top and pull the sheets a little higher. "even this early in the morning you look beautiful" he exclaims "oh you charmer" I chuckle rolling my eyes. "shan-give... Ugh.. Shan" I gaze at the screen amused as both brothers fight for the phone. "as much as I love facetiming with you both, I'm getting nauseas watching this." getting up from the bed I put on my robe and head downstairs into the kitchen. As a flash of lightening illuminates the entire room startling me, I nearly drop the phone out of my hands, much to both brothers amusement. "oh you know how I hate these kind of storms" I glare at the screen. "repeat after me Sammy 'fuck you thunder you can suck my di-'." "can she not repeat that?" Jared mutters and I laugh "thunder buddies" I wink at Shannon. Making myself a nice steaming cup of cocoa, I softly blow the hot substance in the cup before taking a sip. "is that.. hot cocoa?" Shannon throws me a very judging look. "you bet it is!" I grin "Home-made, I may add. With Belgian chocolate." Shannon grunts deeply, an unimpressed look on his face. "how. could. you" I giggle licking my lips after another sip. "mmm, so, soo good." "alright enough with the cocoa sex, Shannon can I talk to Samantha?" Jared snatches the phone from his brother. "hello again" I smile "can't wait to be home in a few hours" Jared smiles. "I hope your flight doesn't get cancelled" I sigh admiring the storm through the kitchen window. Jared shrugs "at the moment we're delayed for about an hour. I'll keep you updated." the video call lags and I sigh waiting for the video to stabilize. "So how's my girl doing?" "starting to regret that hot chocola-" a wave of nausea washes over me and I drop my phone on the counter, making a sprint for the bathroom. Dropping to my knees I heave above the toilet, pulling my hair back in a messy tail. Rinsing my mouth with mouthwash I pick my phone back up. The video lags as Jared puts his stuff in the trunk of their cab and ask me if I'm okay, wandering from the group. "Morning sickness" I smile annoyed. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and finally developing the cutest small bump. We've been able to keep it a secret, only Emma knows since I confided in her asking to buy me a test after the VMA’s, since I was too scared to get one myself. I eventually took the test a day after when we arrived in Chicago surprising Jared at the hotel with the news, having my test and a litte “hello daddy” romper placed on his pillow. I haven't joined the guys on tour for the past 3 weeks due to extreme morning sickness, they think I had the flu. Today is the big revelation, I'm picking Jared up at the airport when they return from Canada wearing a grey curve hugging dress emphasizing my small bump. He has only seen my early pregnancy bloat evolving to a bump in pictures. Today is the first time he's actually going to admire our little bump. It's not only a surprise to him, but the rest of the crew and Shannon are still unaware of the pregnancy. This afternoon my mom and Constance are coming over for lunch and we're going to surprise them with the pregnancy news! The storm passes quickly and while rain still trickles down, rays of sunshine seep through the clouds. Planning on leaving home an hour before his estimated arrival, to avoid Los Angeles' famous morning traffic jams, I'm in a hurry to find my keys. Cursing underneath my breath I sigh deeply checking the pockets of my leather jacket with no luck. "Damn pregnancy brain. Think Sammy, think." I check my purse a third time before throwing it on the table. "fuck." There's a soft knock on the door jamb behind me and I spin around in shock "oh no, did I get the time wrong, Jared I'm so-" my breath hitches in my throat as my eyes lock with his "You." I swallow hard. "Hello Samantha." my eyes catch glimpse of the silver keys dangling from his index finger, my keys. I swallow hard "how-how did you get.." "Love is a scary thing babe" tucking the keys into his pocket he strides over and I back up. "Caleb , I need you to leave." I plead. He smirks softly "Did you like all the gifts I sent you?" I stare at him in shock when the penny drops and all the flowers and fucked up gifts are from him. "I'm calling the cops." I warn him, fingers rummaging my purse but I'm unable to trace my phone. "no you won't." he states pulling my phone from his other pocket. In that moment fear and panic wash over me, paralyzing me as within a few strides he's right in front of me, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I miss you" he calmly breathes, hand tracing my curves. Suddenly he tugs at my leather jacket, a deadly glare peering into my eyes. It happens in the blink of an eye but before I can register it I've slapped him hard across the face, it takes him off guard stumbling back, phone falling from his hand. Before I have time to respond and grab my phone or my alarm button his hand violently slip around my throat while he backs me up against the wall, eyes blazing with rage. "a fucking baby?" His grip on my throat tightening. I gasp, digging my nails into his hand and arm trying to get him to ease pressure. “In our 5 years you never felt ready, and with him it takes you less than a year?” he breathes angrily in my face, angry tears in his eyes "Today is the price you pay for having such a good life" his voice is short, clipped and cold. Feeling dizziness set in I scratch my nails across his face to which he releases me. I fall to my knees and cough deeply trying to catch my breath. I want to run, to hide but he's too fast. As I want to grab my phone from the floor he grabs me violently by my hair and I scream loudly. "If I can't have you, nobody will" he spits flinging me to the other side of the room, crashing into the glass table, shattering it on impact. I feel numb, pain surging my entire body. He kneels next to me and brushes my bloodied cheek. "why do you make me do this. This is all your fault Sam." He rubs his temple frustrated. Tears escape my eyes as the person in front of me is a ghost of the man I used to date. "you once promised to keep me safe-" my voice trembles as I speak "And then you decided to fuck Jared Leto" he hisses hunched over me while grabbing my belly. Protecting my baby I backhand him in the face while kicking him in the nuts and spot my phone. "you cheated on me first, shit head" I crawl over as fast as I can, crying out in pain. Trembling and with blood stained hands I grab my phone. "put it down" he barks angrily. Pressing and holding the side button along with the Volume button I activate my SOS setting. The next few seconds pass by in a blur. I'm fighting him off, kicking and screaming until he has me pinned against the couch, my arm twisted behind me, tearing the phone from my grip. "I told you not to" he yanks my head back, gripping my hair and in that moment, I felt trapped, vulnerable and so hopelessly lost. "HELP ME" I kick and scream, hoping the emergency call was activated. "FUCK!" Caleb screams out tossing the phone away "why do you always make things so complicated babe? Why!?" he frantically rubs his face backing up. Afraid to move I slowly press myself up, ribs feeling sore. "I.. I'm sorry" I apologize, slowly crawling away from him. "please, Cabe, I'm sorry" I whisper pulling myself up with the help of a chair. His eyes lock with mine, tears staining them. "Lies!" he cries "LIES." my heart sinks and I freeze on the spot as I register the gun targeted at me. "Don't do this Cabe" I whisper in a plea. "If I can't have you, nobody can." he yells again, a tear falling from his face. "you're mine. You belong to ME." blue and red flashing lights illuminate the room, police sirens filling up the background. "it's over" I whisper "it sure is. I love you Sammy, im so sorry" his voice is soft, his intense yet soul-less stare sends chills down my spine. And then the penetrating sound of a gun being fired echoes the room, my ears ringing, the sound of glass shattering. Caleb collapses on the floor in front of me as police officers storm into the room. It is then that I feel the sharp sting in my abdomen. Looking down, blood stains my dress, trickling down my leg. Caleb had pulled the trigger, he shot me right in my stomach. Cradling my belly I sink to the floor and pass out in shock. Jared received an emergency text upon his arrival at LAX, he immediately knew something was wrong when I didn't respond to his or Shannon's calls. He arrived home, at the horrific scene when they rushed me out on the stretcher, a paramedic straddling me while performing chest compressions. My body limp, pale and covered in blood, face bruised and cut with marks around my neck where he tried strangling me.

Shreds to some of the darkest periods of my life I've unwillingly lived publicly. Paparazzi are vicious, they'll hound you around invading and violating your privacy until the very last drop of juicy information is shared. Media loves dramatizing, But sadly, a picture doesn't show the entire story and is easily manipulated into telling something different. It's an ugly world, one I decided I wanted to take control over.

Caleb was shot into the chest, 7 days post-op he presented signs of a stroke, leaving him in a vegetative state. My healing started the moment they turned off life support, his life support. I got to witness the ventilator being turned off and removal of his breathing tube. In that moment I experienced conflicting emotions, liberating relief but also sadness. It felt wrong to grieve someone that caused me so much pain, his death gave me closure, but I refused to forgive him. I'd been to hell and back and my road to recovery was long, I had to be strong and find myself again while navigating a high-risk pregnancy, yes our miracle baby survived the trauma.

At 34 weeks, unexpectedly early, a beautiful baby girl made her appearance into this world. Our little miracle was small and fragile, weighing in at 2.250kg and 43cm.

October, 2011 Shannon looks up from his computer in shock, his face going pale as I enter the studio. "Oh God, what happened," he breathes pulling the headphones from his head and strides over to where I'm standing, my pajama pants covered in blood. In a heartbeat he is in front of me, holding onto my trembling hands. Cupping my face he calms me "breathe Sammy, breathe." his voice is soft as he looks me straight in the eyes "hey, look at me. You're both going to be okay." I felt like I was going to throw up, falling from one emotion into another. Earlier Jared and I finished up a maternity shoot shot by Shannon. My first pregnancy should have been easy, but since the attack I had been terrified of complications, Caleb robbed me from enjoying the miracle of bringing life into this world. "We're going to the hospital right now" his voice edged with determination. "But your busy with Kristie’s al-” “Sammy don’t you start” Flipping his phone to his ear he ushers me up the stairs and to the garage. “I don't even have my bag." I stumble my words as he pulls the door open and sits me down. “This can't be happening" I close my eyes caressing my bump feeling some sort of tightening cramps.

Arriving at the hospital they immediately take me for an exam and place a heart rate monitor on my belly. "Hang in there little peanut" I whisper to my bump and close my eyes praying. Feeling a hand atop of mine I open my eyes exchanging a glance with Jared. Even though he looked calm, I read panic in his eyes. "I'm here." Things happened so fast from that point on. We were totally unprepared to give birth this early. The baby was in distress, the exam showing a placental abruption and they took me straight in prepping me for an emergency C-section. Lots of people swarmed the OR. It felt like I was trapped in a chaotic nightmare. "It's going to be okay" Jared’s lips brush my temple and wipes away the tear that escapes my eyes. He's sat next to me in yellow scrubs, calm through it all , my rock. I was scared and nervous, this pregnancy has been all but a dream. "I'm sorry" I whisper apologetic "what for?" "not being able to keep this baby safe" he caresses my cheek and shakes his head "I'm so proud of you. You're such a strong woman, you’re such a great mother". Light cries fill the room and I sob in relief hearing our baby crying for the first time. "It's a girl!" after a few long minutes we finally get to meet her briefly, before she's taken up to NICU, as she is placed on my upper chest, swaddled in a blanket. My entire heart fills with love as I admire our little girl. Jared gazes lovingly at us "welcome to the world, Willa"

Becoming parents was extraordinary. Watching Jared settle into his new role as a daddy, his priorities changed so much more than I expected. The first weeks were challenging as we divided our time between visiting our premature girl at the hospital and our new home in Malibu. Jared's Studio City home held too many unwanted memories, too much negative energy, so we relocated to a gated family orientated community in Malibu, leaving the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles behind us. The moment we got to bring our baby girl home, our wonderful journey started and brought Jared and I even closer together. We introduced her to her extended family at the Vyrt streaming of the 300th show touring ‘This is War’. We settled into a 'normal' life the upcoming years as the band took a break from touring. Shannon took time to focus on his son and even made several guest appearances on Kristie’s ‘Dancing with the Devil’ tour.

The celebrity lifestyle, partying and fame, we traded for a modest family life, trying to get as close to ‘normal’ as possible. I put my on-screen work with MTV on hold indefinitely and decided to work more behind the scenes. Time out from the spotlight was liberating, focusing just on our little family. Jared dedicated time to his other career, acting, he filmed a new movie, introducing me to my new girlfriend Rayon. It was quite a shock at first, to be honest I didn’t even recognize him when he had walked into the house wearing a floral dress, blonde wig, false lashes and fuchsia lipstick. It took me a while to get used to the fact she also borrowed some of my dresses and panty hoses. As much as I came to like her, I was glad her appearance was limited.

After the 2 year gap since we last took the road, juggling between life on the road, family and promotions for his movie, our fairly stable life got turned upside down. Kristie’s condition took a turn for the worse and Shannon spend more time with Alec and Kristie in Hospice care, promising he’d never abandon his son. Ryder became the most important person in his life. A few months later I took on another edition of the tour diary as the band lined up a new tour for their brand new album.

January, 2014 A small golden globes pré party was held at our house. Jared had transformed our patio in a private backyard cinema with an outdoor projector. My mother, Constance , Shannon and Kara, Emma and the kids would be watching the show from home. Tucking some strands of my hair back in my dramatic, voluminous pony I glance in the mirror and smile approvingly, touching up my bold burgundy lips. And winged eyeliner. "woaaaaaaah" an enthusiastic Willa sprints down the corridor, coming to an abrupt stop at the sight of me, her eyes big with wonder and mouth open wide. I giggle twirling around making my dress fly up "does mommy look pretty?" her eyes squint shut as she breaks out in a big smile. I laugh squatting down in front of her and tap her protruding belly "shall I take that as a yes?" nodding her head fervently she leans in for a hug "mommy you're so pretty!" kissing the top of her head I stand up straight "let's go find your daddy!" turning around her giggles bounce off the walls as her little feet run down the hall towards the patio. "here's my little princes!" Jared picks up his daughter and twirls her around extracting even more giggles as he tickles her belly. "Am I dressed okay for the occasion?" His gaze lingers on me as I step outside, an elegant long white fit and flare dress hugged my curves, with an off the shoulder neckline and billowing sleeves in organza material. Mesmerized Jared takes me in "A classical beauty" he muses and leans in for a kiss "you're handsome yourself too" I whisper capturing his lips much to Willa’s dismay who pushes me back "yuk" both me and Jared burst out laughing. "oh Samantha" my mother gushes, tears staining her eyes "you look absolutely stunning" I twirl around again and huff in doubt "really? Isn't this too much?" biting my lip I meet Jared's, his brow pulled up in ponder "Samantha you look amazing" he speaks assuring "picture time!" Constance exclaims making me laugh as both mothers are pulling out their mobile phone. "thank god we've got the good camera here too" Jared mutters under a breath motioning at Myke, who's following Jared around the entire day before and after the Golden Globes for 'A day in the life of'. After our short photoshoot it's time for us to head out to the red carpet, but before all the celebrity glamour we experienced some family drama as Willa did not want mommy and daddy to leave throwing a dramatical tantrum. Jared, being the slick negotiator he is, managed to keep a second round of tears and screams at bay. A soft sigh escapes my lips and Jared squeezes my knee softly. "ah the terrible two's, I'm sure she's all forgotten about it already" his blue eyes look at me in a comforting way "she was already playing hide and seek with Shannon and Ryder when you made your way towards the car. " placing my hand atop his I nod softly. Nearing the venue I feel butterflies flutter my stomach. I felt nervous, it had been a while since I graced a red carpet alongside him. "ready for the madness?" Jared's lips grace my temple "thanks for joining me tonight." I turn to meet his loving gaze and nudge him softy "always, I'm so proud of you. You're already my winner" I wink and he laughs deeply "that's all I'll ever need, what am I even doing here?" opening the door for me he extents his hand and I take it. I had forgotten about the buzz on the red carpet and to be honest I had missed the glamour, it felt good to be back. Jared and I posed infront of the photographers but the atmosphere was different around us, he was much more relaxed and affectionate than he had ever been. I caught him fixing the train of my dress so it looked good on pictures, he lovingly embraced me and stole kisses, I even noticed he had stopped posing for pictures and was admiring me from afar, snapping a personal picture with his iPhone. The night passed by quickly and soon enough the announcements were made for the category he was nominated in. Placing my left hand atop his I lace our fingers and squeeze it softly. All air leaves my lungs as his name gets called. Standing up I cup his face and kiss him lovingly "I'm so proud of you".

You don’t always need a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens… And that’s exactly what happened on our special day in 2015. After a very busy and rewarding award and touring season, Jared whisked me away for a romantic getaway at Glen Oaks Big Sur, staying in a secluded cabin tucked away in a redwood grove near a river.

Outstretching my arms above my head I tangle my fingers into Jared’s hair as he leans down for a kiss. “Are you enjoying your bath?” “Very much so, so relaxing after that long hike” I nod approvingly slipping lower into the claw foot bath tub on our secluded porch. “Emma send me a mail regarding some hotel issues for Europe-" “Ugh say no more, be gone” I sigh splashing some water his way making him laugh “I’ll be back in time for dinner” “Oh you better” I mutter closing my eyes relaxing and enjoying the silence. After my bath I head back inside our cabin and find a box and a card on the bed. Closing my robe I sit down and pick up the envelope, Jared’s handwriting addressing me. ‘I love you, will you marry me?’ holding up the card between my fingers I eye it confused. A proposal? But he proposed to me 4 years ago in Paris? “Tonight?” his soft deep voice breaks the silence in the cabin and it startles me slightly. “Jared what- what is this?” he’s stood leaning, admiring me, from afar, his tender blue eyes locking with mine. Pulling his hands from his pockets he pushes off from the wall and walks over to me, kneeling down on one knee. “Jared what are you doing” I roll my eyes mockingly as he shushes me with a finger against the lips. “The past years have been very eventful.. our baby girl, movies, gigs, all the awards... I- I don’t want to waste any more time trying to find an ideal moment away from the madness.” He shakes his head and tilts my chin, thumb grazing my cheek lovingly “The biggest win in my life is having captured your heart, you are my most valued prize. No award can ever compare. Marry me, here, tonight.” I swallow hard trying to find my breath again “I- Yes” A loving smile curls his lips while he leans in and kisses me passionately. “But I… I don’t have a dress, shoes,.. what about-”with a quick peck on the lips he silences me again “Open the box” fumbling with the box my fingers tear of the lid finding the perfect pair of strass crystal embellished Christian Louboutin pumps ‘It was and always will be you’ engraved on the red sole along with today’s date. I sigh his name admiring the pumps a hint of doubt to detect in my voice. “I know you’ve always dreamt of a big ceremony with the entire family and I promise you, we’ll still do one. I promise.” Taking my hand he leads me to the bathroom, there on a hanger is the most stunning dress I have ever laid eyes on. Sparkly and sexy, consisting of white sequin embellished tulle with full skirt, plunging V-neck and low-cut back with fitted sequin tulle sleeves. Grazing my fingers along the tulle I stare at him in shock. Jared grins “Willa picked it out, I guess it must have been the sparkles. But I did agree on it being a marvelous dress” “You took her to a bridal Boutique?” I smack my lips and chuckle at the thought. “Yes, she has an eye for design of fashion, guess she has that from his mother” Jared winks making me break out in a laugh. “Yes, I do hope she doesn’t inherent your sense in style.” Mimicking a hurt expression Jared embraces me close to him and brushes a strand of hair from my face. “So, shall we get married?” he beams “Let’s do this.” My heart skips a beat as I take in my reflection in the mirror. The all over sparkling sheer fabric looks luxurious yet elegant against my tan bodysuit, Jared customized pumps matching perfectly with the gown. My hair is kept loose in subtle curls along with subtle makeup. Exiting the cabin and walking down the steps I call out his name. Jared turning as I do so and as his eyes land on me while tucking his phone into his pocket, he pauses, struck in awe. Soaking me all in, he’s overcome by raw emotion fighting back his tears as they fill up his eyes. Jared looked sharp in his all black tuxedo, hair tuck in a sleek man bun. Exhaling a deep breath he regains his composure “wow” is all he can bring out. Taking my hand in his slightly shaking one, he pushes me backwards a little looking me up and down and then twirls me around. Capturing his cheek with the palm of my hand I rest my forehead against his. He was nervous, and for him, that was rare. “I keep falling in love with you, over and over, each day.” His voice is pure, a soft tremble “when everything is falling apart, you’ll fuel me to keep going on, the best part of me is you. You became the mother of my children and now you’re about to become my wife. I will always stand by your side with unconditional love” I could tell his nerves eased away as I captured his lips with mine in a sweet caress, his tongue sweeps between my lips indulging into a long emotional heartfelt kiss. His hands resting at the small of my back inching me closer to him. Breathless I break from his hold, wiping some smudged lipstick from his lips. It is then that I notice a young brunette and tall guy capturing every moment of our first look with professional camera’s. Clearing my throat I run a hand through my hair “You’re in luck this didn’t turn into an R-rated version” Bursting into a chuckle they introduce themselves as our photographer and videographer for the evening. “I want to capture every single magical moment celebrating our love.” Jared says lacing his fingers with mine. Since then sun was nearly setting Tricia and Rob advice to go for pictures first at the cliffs of big sur. Standing in Jared’s embrace along the rocky coastline, the setting sun reflecting off the beads of my dress and a romantic fog rolling in over the ocean, it feels surreal, as if I’m moving in a dream. I could not feel more beautiful and more happy as in this moment.

With the last of the fading sun through the foggy redwood forest we arrive at the hotel and I shiver when the cool evening breeze hits my skin. Reaching out Jared drapes a fluffy fake fur wrap shawl around me. I halting letting my fingers roam the fur collar “This… this is my mother’s?” there is a hint of mischief and mystery to the grin forming his lips as he leads me down the path of the enchanted looking forest. We reach an outdoor deck with heathers, decorated with a hundred twinkling fairy lights, blush and white baby’s breath and pampas grass and a long formally set table. "Surprise!" startled I turn around to meet my mother, Constance, Shannon & Ryder, Tomo & Vicki, Tim, Gisella & Andrea, Dean, Mason, Kara, Myke & Kellen and Emma holding Willa standing at the end of the deck. I glance at Jared, whom lovingly brushes an escaped tear from my cheek. "I've had this all planned out, you wouldn't honestly think I'd have us married without the most important people near?" Shannon stalks over and spins me around making the sequin tulle skirt fly up "Sammy you are looking mighty fine". "Hello there, sexy momma" Tim laughs and I slap his chest. "Oh Timmeh, I missed you!" pulling me close he kisses my temple “Gis!” I shriek flinging my arms around her “I can’t believe you’re here! YOU KEPT THIS A SECRET FROM ME!?” laughing through her tears she glances at Jared “He’s the mastermind behind all of this!” caressing her belly I glance at Andrea “You’re going to have your hands full when this little one arrives” he grins and kisses Gisella’s temple “I’m coming back home” she pipes. “You’re moving back to Los Angeles?” I stare at her in shock, a second stream of tears filling up my eyes. “Yes!” she exclaims. Drying my tears I crouch down as Willa stalks over to me wearing a bright pink dress, princess crown in her curly locks. “you look so pretty” pulling her into a hug I kiss her and run my hands through her curls “Thank you for picking my dress, I love it” she smiles widely “mommy you’re a real princess!” Jared's hand lands in the small of my back as he crouches down next to me and kisses my temple and taps Willa’s nose “This Prince wants to marry his Princess.” He smiles with a wink and turns to me “Lets get hitched?" he asks me "Finally” I giggle capturing his lips and brush a tear from my mom's cheek while passing her.

It's been one hell of a journey the past decade. I've been hurt in monumental ways and made major life decisions. At 35 I don't regret any decision I've made in the past, I wouldn't trade this life for the world. I'm right where I want to be, where I need to be. I've transformed from a broken, timid girl into a strong, confident woman. Happy and in Love. Until we meet again! Love and miss you all so much!!!

Xoxo Samantha”

---

I glance up from my laptop, a beautiful rich shade of magenta painting the sky, reflecting off the ocean as the sun sets. Running a hand through my soft curly blonde hair, I place my glasses in my hair and close my eyes breathing in the fresh air. Two arms slip around me pulling me into an embrace from behind, his lips warm against my temple. "Happy Marsiversary baby" he muses and I smile turning on my chair. "So you remember" I smile bringing my arms up to cup his face as he sits down next to me and leans in "oh Sammy" his brows arch up "would I ever forget the day this angel walked into my life 10 years ago? Never." his voice is soft and a soft smile tugs his lips. "forever grateful" he muses pressing his lips gentle against mine. I smile and caress his cheek “The kids in bed?” He nods "Still working are we?" Jared asks glancing at the laptop behind me. Chuckling I pat his knee "Some things never change." "What's the latest?" he asks nudging my shoulder and I smile "actually...-" I pause and take my laptop on my lap turning it to him "-I took a trip down memory lane... The latest blog post is... the final excerpt for the Tour Diary." Jared's brows arch up as his eyes scan the drafted blog post in front of him "it's...my…our, honest closure on the chapter" leaning back in my seat I take a sip of my glass of water and run a hand along his shoulder. "If that's okay with you" I reach out, brushing an escaped strand of hair that slipped from his messy man-bun behind his ear. His eyes lock with mine, a soft smile touching his lips. "Fans rarely get a glimpse in our private life, even after acknowledging our relationship all those years ago. We have always been very selective in the family moments we share online and during interviews...” he smiles, hands landing on my growing baby bump. In a few months our family would be complete, after a struggle to get pregnant again, suffering several miscarriages and going through a lengthy adoption process a few years back, we’d be a happy family of five soon. Chuckling slightly feeling a soft kick I place my hand atop his. Jared smiles “I’m ready to share part of it all.” placing the laptop next to him he ushers close to my belly planting a soft kiss “I can’t wait to meet you little Alexander.”

-The End-

(*) Lyrics taken from : Skylar Gray ft Eminem : Love the way you lie pt2 Visual credits to resp. owners

#Welcome to the universe #jammy #Jammy is back #mars fanfiction #dreamingdreamsnevermore #the end #fanfiction #SamanthaMorgan

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 3 years

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Where can I read the sam Morgan fic in it's entirety from the beginning?

Jammy / Sammy can be found in our Summary, click the link in this post and you'll find the summary linked in the post below the ask. I can't seem to post a direct link leading to the summary.

A final entry post, concluding her story will be posted shortly.

#dreamingdreamsnevermore #jammy #samantha morgan

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 6 years

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DREAMINGDREAMSNEVERMORE UPDATE !

Hi Everyone!

It’s been a very long while since we’ve checked back in with you all. We’re very sorry to have kept you hanging with all these Jammy questions. We promised to finish her story but life got in the way and we never made it to finish their (un-?)happily ever after. We still love Samantha Morgan with all our hearth, she’s our baby and we catch ourselves reading her story once and a while and falling in love all over again! We feel we owe it up to her to really finish her. It has been five years, it’s about time. Every good story deserves an ending! Me and C are toying with the idea for a final part, a leap in time that gives you insight in the whirlwind that has happened to Samantha and Jared’s lives. We’re not sure if anyone is still interested in knowing how Jammy’s adventure would finish after all these years, but if you guys want it head over to our Ask/Message and let us know! We also want to thank every single one of you for all the love in our askbox ♥ It’s been overwhelming reading all the love for Samantha and compliments about the story. Thank you so so much! As I said previously we truly enjoy(ed) writing her.

Also, I’ve updated the summary so all parts are now correctly linked. It should be up and running again if anyone wants to read.

T & C

#dreamingdreamsnevermore #samanthamorgan #jammy #welcome to the universe

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 10 years

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DreamingDreamsNevermore Update !

Hey everyone! You guys might have noticed that it's been a while since there has been some sort of activity on 'DreamingDreamsNevermore' and I want to apologize for that... Although let me explain the reason behind this. It's been a little over 3 years since me and C first started this lovely story about 'Samantha Morgan' and ever since then both our lives have gotten quite a lot more eventful and busier making it harder for us to find the time to write this story. And if we are honest, we are not that completely hooked into Mars as we were back in the days, don't get us wrong! We still love them but in a different way. Also C has quite a few big (exciting!) things happening in her life in 2014 that will take up a huge amount of her time leaving little to no time for her to write. On a positive note: We however do not want to leave Samantha Morgan ending with the last post we posted. She deserves better than that, so we are going to try and write whenever we can to wrap her story up and give her the ending she deserves. That being said we will not start posting again before she is completely finished. Why? To spare you guys going through another Hiatus again and for us to avoid get into writing conflicts of getting her story finished. So this means that over the coming days, weeks, months we will, whenever we find the time, work on Samantha to wrap her story up.

Over the past two months from when we posted the Hiatus announcement quite a few of you have left us or send us asks seeking for answers... I know we are leaving you guys hanging but please bare with us. All we ask is a little bit (lot) of your patience. I/we will try our best to keep you updated on Samantha's evolvement and an estimated time of when we will regain posting. So.. Yes we are still here, No we have not forgotten about Samantha. We just don't know when exactly we can bring her back We love you all and want to thank you all again so much for your support throughout the years! Love T & C ♥

#dreamingdreamsnevermore #welcome to the universe

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 10 years

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Due to us being both very busy, the holidays coming up and me (C) buying a house with my boyfriend (yay!) there is a Hiatus for the rest of year! I hope you guys understand!

We love you all!

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 11 years

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 11 years

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Shannon in Amsterdam

12/11/2013

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 11 years

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Lack of update you say?

Hello everyone!

First off I want to apologize for the lack of an update this week and even maybe next week. Why you ask? Well T and I saw Mars last week and we had to travel for it so we were not home. Also, for me personally, I have a few big things happening in my life right now taking up all my time, but when I can tell you all more I will.

So, to ease the pain i am going to post some of my pics from the gig and let me tell you (maybe a few have seen the photoset from my personalblog) I HAVE SHANNIPPLE so yea :p

Love you all!

♥

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 11 years

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'For truth, for love and my desire' - Part 16 : Under Pressure

Home. Back to a few things I had tried desperately to forget about in the magical land of a thousand and one nights. Like the everly glooming conversation Jared and I still needed to have over crossing lines and possible stalkers. The loaded conference that we awaiting me at MTV headquarters with Dean and some PR people.

The deadline for the ‘Mars Diary Contest’ was also creeping closer and we still needed to go through a ton of emails, video’s, letters and fan art.

Jamie had left a day earlier with the rest of the crew ‘cause he was coming down with the flu … probably caused by me. I could only hope Jared wouldn’t catch it since we would be leaving for Brazil on the 25th of March and tour South America.

And on top of it all we had the Hurricane screening coming up very soon as well…

I guess the saying is true ‘No rest for the wicked’.

I sigh deeply as I walk behind Jared heading down towards the car awaiting to pick us up. Since Emma has been home before us she offered to stay and wait for our baggage so we could head home right away. I cough and nestle myself deeper into Shannon’s multi-colored scarf. “You still haven’t shaken this illness have you?” Jared says slowing down and walking next to me. I shake my head and shrug “I think aside from the flu bug that nestled in me, I now have a cold.” Jared places an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close “I’ll run you a nice warm bath when we get home and make you some famous Leto tea with honey.” I shoot Jared a faint smile “Thanks babe, but don’t get too close, I don’t want you to catch what I have.” Jared stops in front of me and wraps me into his arms “Pretty sure I already have what you have or am infected so … let’s just take it easy?” I look at him with heavy and tired eyes.

“But we still need to talk and I have a meeting with Dean and … “ Jared places his finger on my lips shushing me “Our talk can wait, though I am afraid Dean might not. Don’t forget to give him a call.” I nod and rest my head against his chest for a second before pulling back and raising my carry-on bag on my shoulder “I will, in the car.” We exit trough the doors and to my relieve no one is there awaiting us. I turn around and look at Tomo, Shannon, Kara and Myke walking up to us. “I will give you all a wave and see you soon. Kara, Myke, I’ll see you at work? We need to start cracking on this contest.” “Will do, take care sweetie, see you tomorrow!” Myke says and turns left towards Kellen who is waiting for him. I shoot him a quick wave as well and then turn to Kara and Shannon. “You take it easy okay? I’ll finish the last of the Diary and it will be up tomorrow.” I smile at Kara and watch her as she says goodbye to Shannon and hops into a taxi. “I will see you tomorrow evening. I made us four a reservation in this great Mexican restaurant.” I feel my stomach churn and force a smile “Let’s hope this bug will let me eat.” I reach for Shannon’s scarf to give back when he places his hand on my arm “Keep it on, i’ll get it back later. Take care of her Bro, see ya!” He kisses me on the cheek and one arm hugs Jared.

Plopping into the car next to Jared I fish out my cell phone and hit Dean on speed dial. “Hello Dean.” “Sammy, you sound awful. You okay?” I cover the receiver and cough “Yea, just a cold and the flu or a stomach bug. I’ll survive. So, we are back from the Middle East, which was awesome. So here is me, calling you, like promised.”

Dean chuckles “Oh Sammy. Good to hear you had fun. Do you think you’ll be able to make it into the office tomorrow at 9 am?” I lean against the window as Jared pulls up on the freeway, his hand on my leg, softly stroking. “Yep, I’ll be there.” “Great, get some sleep Sammy. If you are too sick, let me know and we will reschedule okay?” “I will, see’ you tomorrow Dean, Bye.”

A short 10 minutes later we pull up onto the driveway and I instantly smile. I can’t wait to spend a few days home. Hopefully I’ll get better faster and I can start going hiking again. “Emma will be over in 15 minutes with our luggage. How is your stomach, you think you can eat something?” I lace my fingers with Jared and let him usher me through the front door. “Hmmz, I could go for some Veggies?” Jared smiles and helps me take off my coat and unravel Shannon’s scarf. “Well, you go put on your Jammies, sit down on the couch and I will order some food and make you tea. After dinner and Emma has dropped off your stuff we can take that warm bath. "

I smile widely and step into Jared’s embrace “You take such good care of me.” “That’s because I love you, now git, PJ’s!” I salute Jared and head up the stairs into our bedroom.

The room feels strange the second I walk in. Like something isn’t right. I look around but don’t see anything that could give me this creepy feeling. Taking a deep breath I turn to the walk in closet and go in search for my pink and red strawberry PJ’s. Moving towards the bed to take off my jewelry I spot something lying on the floor. Frowning I bent down and pick up a broken picture frame. Pieces of the broken glass are scatter around but the picture that was inside of Jared and I at Disney is missing.

I pick up the broken pieces and place them on the frame to put them in the bin downstairs. “Jared?” I call out as I head to the kitchen but I don’t get a response. I quickly dump the frame in the trash and decide to head down to the lab, maybe he is there.

The strange feeling is still creeping up on me. “Jared?” I call out again as I head into the little sitting room area next to the lab “I’m in the little kitchen, I’ll be right out!” Jared calls and I move to sit on the couch when I spot more broken glass. “What is going on here?” I whisper as I move to the glass door leading to the garden and find part of the glass broken “JARED!!!!” I scream, hearing the edge in my own voice. I hear Jared sprint into the room, eyes big and wide. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” I shake my head and move to him “I … I think someone broke in while we were gone. The picture of us at Disney is gone from the bedroom and the frame was broken and now I find this … Jared, should I be scared?” Angst flashes on Jared’s face for just a second before he composes himself. His phone is to his ear in a second. “Hello this is Jared Leto, I would like to report a break in.” Jared talks to whoever on the phone while pacing around and all I can do is stare at the broken door. “Okay thank you.”

“Samantha, change of plans. Emma is going to pick you up and drop you off at Shannon’s while I wait for the police to get here. It probably nothing, but the police is going to head over and I need to stay here and check if all the laptops, pc’s and hard drives-” “But, Jared.” He turns to me, cups my face and smiles. “I need to figure out what is missing and how they got in. I want you to be safe and have a good night sleep, so please, Sam, don’t argue with me.Go put on some clothes and wait for Emma. Please?” I pout and nod. Jared kisses me on the lips and quickly dials another number.”

After having changed I wait for Emma to pick me up and drive me to Shannon. Everything seems to pass by so fast as we head over to Shannon’s.

He’s standing at his front door, Sky next to him.

The second I get out of the car he grabs a hold of me and helps me inside.

“You okay? Jared was pretty vague on the phone?” I plop down on the couch and hug Sky close to me “I’m not sure what’s going on. Someone broke into the house and Jared called the cops. I found the broken door and a picture of Jared and I is missing.” Shannon move to sit next to me and hands me a steaming cup of coffee “Sorry, I’m all out of tea, Kara drank the last.” I turn to him as I pet Sky’s head. “That’s fine … I hope I am not messing up your evening though?” Shannon shakes his head “Nah, I was just about to order some food and watch a movie. I barely got back from Mom’s picking up Sky when Jared called. Guess we will have a sleep over?”

I smile softly and sip my coffee “I hope Jared will come over and stay here as well.” Shannon pats my leg and shoots me his million watt smile “No need to worry, he’ll figure things out at home and then he’ll be over as quick as he can.” I nod and drink some more of my coffee “I hope so.”

Shannon and I order in Chinese and then watch Scarface. I think I fell asleep somewhere halfway through the movie thanks to the cough syrup.

Strong arms carried me up the stairs and put me to bed, but they weren’t Jared’s.

My alarm ringing in my ears wakes me up at 7.30 am and for a few seconds I am dazed and confused. I’m not sure where I am and then it all comes rushing back to me. I glance to my side and find the spot next to me empty … yet someone slept there.

I can still vaguely remember Jared stroking my neck, planting a soft kiss and then pulling me close to him. I stretch and slip into my slippers heading downstairs. I’m not sure if Shannon is awake yet but I am very hungry.

Two deep voices flow from the kitchen. I can vaguely make out what they are saying.

“So, do you have any idea who it was?” Shannon whispers. I hear footsteps move around and then Jared’s soft voice “Yes.” My breath catches in my throat “Well, I have an idea, but I have no proof.” I exhale and head into the kitchen. I want to know what happened without having to eavesdrop.

The moment I walk in Jared falls awkwardly silent, clearing his throat with a cough and fumbles with his cup of tea in hand. Halting in the doorway I raise my brow and let my eyes wonder from one brother to the other. "Good morning," my eyes grow wide at the sound of my own voice, it is deep and rough. "Prrr how sexy." Shannon laughs. Getting up from his stool a soft smile pops to Jared's lips and he brings an arm around me while his lips press against my temple. "Morning. Tea?" My fingertips graze his arm as he moves away. Sitting down on a barstool at the table I glance at Shannon and Jared. "You two didn't need to end your conversation 'cause of me..." "We were finished." Jared says and I raise a brow. "Hey, I thought you were all out of tea?" I glance at Shannon while he pulls a ringing IPhone from his jeans. "New pack, brought it along from home." Jared clarifies while placing a big steaming mug of lemon tea with a touch of honey down on the table in front of me. Thanking him I flash him a smile and wrap my fingers around the cup and take a small sip. I can't help but let my eyes wonder between both brothers as the sudden stop to their conversation still lingers my mind. An overly excited Sky comes skidding into the kitchen at the sound of Shannon picking up his keys from the table and I can't help but snort. "No boy. Down. Down." Shannon hisses, phone plastered between ear and shoulder, as Sky starts jumping with excitement obviously thinking he's in for a run. "Sky..." I pat the side of my stool and the dog runs over, jumping up against my legs. I giggle and start rubbing his ears. "You over excited fluffy bear!" I grin and glance up at Jared. "So... how did last night go?" I ask averting my face to my shoulder as a coughing fit bubbles to the surface. He shrugs. "What's to say? Cops came, took statements from Stef, Emma and I and made up a report. No hard drives or laptops have gone missing since Stef locked up editing after she left." Jared's tongue swipes along his lips and he takes a sip. "Insurance will cover the window." He mumbles. "I've got to go... Kara needs me, flat tire." Jared and I both chuckle simultaneously and Shannon gives us a look. "You two behave." Jared's brow rises and Shannon stares at him with serious eyes. "I've still not forgotten about you two in my hot tub." "That's ages ago!" Jared breathes with a blank look "Why are you even bringing that up?" "Because Abu Dhabi has drenched you two with sex...It's… Just not in my house."

I break out in a chuckle that emerges into a chuckle/coughing fit and an amused grin pops to Jared's lips. "Looks like someone has had enough of their dry streak. In desperate need of a lay big brother?" Shannon grunts shrugging on his jacket and I take a deep breath of air coming out of my fit. "No need to worry Shan, now go and help Kara out." "Or have Kara help you out." Jared grins. I notice the un-amused look in Shannon's eyes and reach for the towel on the table, flinging it at Jared. "Whaaat?" he says and I simply shake my head at him as Shannon trails towards the garage, Sky on his heels. "Stop teasing your brother like that." Hopping down from my stool I gather my empty cup and place it in the sink. Crossing his arms Jared shrugs. "I'm just surprised he's managing this long." An amused chuckle emerges from his throat and I slap Jared's arm. "Stop it." I hiss quietly. Hearing the ducati's engine rev and Sky moaning in the hallway Jared's hands sneak around me to caress my arms. "You sure about what you said to Shannon?" I glance at him and nod. "Pretty sure, since it’s that time of the month." Patting his biceps I plant a kiss on his lips. "I'm sure you'll manage a few days, no?" The grin on his face falls and I chuckle walking out of the kitchen. "Really Jared Leto, really?"

After a refreshing shower I overlook the diary draft Kara has emailed me and work my way through several video's for the contest. If I would have known so many people would enter I wouldn't leave the contest running for so long. I am amazed by all the entries, in a positive way but also in a negative way. Some people were insanely creative taking things to a next level where others just took the piss out of the entire contest. At the moment we already had a list of 10 possible candidates and I didn't even go through them all, how was I to pick only one out of all?

Sighing deeply I rub my hand along my temple. "Not easy, huh?" Jared says, hands landing on my shoulder applying soft pressure. "Not at all." I sigh. "You know... You should have runner up prices." Glancing back at him I bite my lip. "Are you contributing?" The corner of his lip arches slightly. "I might?" I groan softly as his thumbs caress my shoulder blades and neck in a circular motion. "You know, working that hard is not all that good when you're sick." Opening my eyes again I reach behind me and slap his leg hard. "Oh Shoo you. I can't let this be, you know that." chuckling he leaves the living room as I continue working. Taking another sip of my tea I glance at my watch and notice it's almost time to leave. Closing down my laptop I get up and grasp my cardigan from the stool. "Jared?" He appears in the kitchen doorway, BlackBerry held against his ear. "Can you drop me off? I've got no car and Emma drove me here yesterday." I bite my lip feeling a little uncomfortable but he smiles and mouths a 'sure.'

Getting up from the stairs after zipping up my boots I grab my purse and adjust my leather jacket. "Good to g-" turning around I am met by Jared, grey scarf in hand. "You are sick already, so bundle up." Pressing my lips together in a thin line I stare at him when he wraps the scarf around my neck and presses a soft kiss to my lips after. "Thank you." "You're very welcome, Miss Morgan." Leash firmly held in mouth, Sky comes walking over, tail wagging from side to side. "Oh... Oh baby." I sigh kneeling down and running my fingers along his head. "I'm sorry, I can't. I need to go to work." dropping the leash he presses his snout against my hand and arms, eager for the walk. I sigh deeply grabbing hold of his head and kiss the top of his head. "Tonight. I promise you!" Picking up the leash I place it away on the side table and follow Jared outside to the driveway. "Either I've gone colorblind or ..." Jared chuckles unlocking the white rover with the remote. "Car is at the garage for a check-up and since I'm the ever busy man that can't pass a single day without a car..." Hopping into the car I grin amused. "Sounds like you've had a busy morning. Home, insurance, garage and God knows what else..." Hand landing on my leg he squeezes it softly as he drives off. "You know how I love waking up next to you, hate leaving that spot early." he winks and I smile placing my hand atop his. "So... I overheard you and Shannon earlier this morning... you might have an idea who b-" Eyes fixated on the road he removes his hand from my leg and aims for the radio. "Yes, but I also said I don't have any hard proof. I'm not going to point a finger yet when I'm not 100% sure." There's a certain edge to his voice that makes it clear that he wants this topic dropped. And so be it. Crossing my legs I glance outside getting taking in by the beautiful song sung by a girl flowing from the speakers. Her voice is filled with emotion, sounding extremely fragile. 'Feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart. I can't tell where this journey will end.... But I know where to start.' Abruptly the song gets switched for one of Jared's Nirvana cd's and I glance at him. "Hey, that was a beautiful song, I was listening..." As Jared casts a quick glance my way I can tell by his eyes that this song affected him in a way. Wetting my lips with my tongue I reach out and turn the volume up slightly as he starts humming along with the cd.

Walking through the revolving doors Lee spots me from afar and a huge smile springs to his lips. "Hey there Miss Morgan, I almost forgot you still worked here." I can't help but chuckle while unzipping my leather jacket and rummage through my purse in search for my pass. "Ugh shit, I.... Lee I'm sorry I think I forgot my pass at home." I bite my lip leaning on his desk and he presses his lips together shaking his head giving me an unimpressed look. "Tutut Sammy." I sigh deeply and pull the most innocent puppy eyes one has ever seen. "Can you slip me past?" Lee thinks hard for a moment "How do I know you're not Sam's evil twin? You've got this deep voice thing going on." He says mimicking my voice and I slap his arm. "Lee!" A grin appears and he rolls his eyes. "Fine, only this once! Get out of here Missy." I smile yet cover my mouth with my hand as a cough bubbles up. "Thanks Lee. If I wasn't sick I'd give you a smooch!" His laugh rumbles the air as he buzzes me through the glass safety doors and I aim for the elevators.

Mason looks up from his desk as I come walking over and a cheeky look flashes into his eyes as he leans back in his seat. "Well well if it isn't Miss Samantha Morgan. Deciding to come in to do some actual work instead of touring around with that singing boyfriend of yours." His lips pout into a kissy face and I growl softly grabbing a stapler from the nearest desk to my right and hurl it at him. He ducks to avoid the flying thing and jumps from his seat bringing his arms around my shoulder while he walks next to me "Oh you know I love you Sammy. But hey, you did hurt my feelings. I thought you'd give me the full exclusive at MTV news about you two." Halting at my office I snort. "We weren't planning on giving anyone an exclusive about us, it just happened, sadly." Shrugging out of his embrace I walk over to my desk and drop my purse into my seat. "Kara!" Her blonde hair flies up as she comes to a halt and I quickly brush past Mason. "I got your email. I approve, publish it." "Really? Nothing to change? Add?" "Nothing." I say and she smiles brightly. "Awesome!" "Full credit to you missy!" I wink at her.

Half an hour later I find myself in Dean's office. Shrugging off my cardigan I drape it over one of the chairs placed in front of his desk. "Sam, nice to see you back." Dean smiles and I smile back. I take a seat in one of the leather chairs at the big glass conference table and nervously fiddle with my engagement ring. "Relax, please. It's only me." Dean's eyes soften as he takes a seat opposite of me and I exhale a breath. "I know.. I'm sorry.. It's just.." "Overwhelming?" his brow darts up and I shrug. "It's just.. not easy dealing with all the sudden interest. I mean to me Jared is simply... Jared. But to the outside world he's 'Jared Leto'..." Dean nods. "Then again, you're not just Samantha Morgan anymore either. Turn it as you want but you've stepped into the spotlight as well now you've stepped into the field with MTV." I groan softly and take a sip of my water. "I know you and Jared have managed for quite some time but now you've gone public that all changes and I'm sure you've noticed that yourself too." I nod, trying to stifle a cough. "It's not going to get better... At least not in the beginning..." Dean speaks and he presses his lips together in a fine line. "You two are the new celebrity couple that has caught the attention of the paparazzi and all the gossip magazines and websites want to get their juicy stories..." Knowing what we already know and they currently don't, your engagement, we want to be prepared...I want to have a PR team behind you that will work in close contact with Jared's." I nod. Everything Dean says makes sense. Reaching for the intercom he pushes a button. "Felicity can you send in CeCe and Kurt please?" Smacking my lips I glance at Dean. "How is Felicity?" "Good," he dismisses the question with a smile and stands up as both of them enter. Walking over he greets them and takes several files from Kurt. "Samantha, I'd like you to meet Candice Cadwell and Kurt Bennett." Candice, in a conversation on the phone, walks over to me and smiles extending her hand. She looks in her early 30ies, her brown hair pulled together in a messy bun. "Candice Cadwell, Public Relations, Nice to meet you." Kurt follows after and I also shake his hand. "Kurt Bennett, Vice President of Communications and Public Relations, it's a pleasure." A dashing smile appears on his face. Dean motions towards the conference table "Let's take a seat shall we?" I can't help but notice that the papers Kurt offered Dean are actually several magazines. Taking a seat I nervously chew my lip observing Dean spread out the magazines. "I know Peter already touched this subject a few months back, when you and Jared just started off dating. Now that you two are engaged and have gained interest, I think it's only fair for you to have your own team behind you." I nervously twirl a strand of hair around my finger as I stare at Dean. Kurt clears his throat "Samantha I know you and Dean have had a little chat before we stepped in and I'm not sure what exactly he has discussed so excuse me if I tell you something he already said but...your job as an MTV VJ itself puts you in the public eye, add your relationship with Jared, singer/actor/director etc to that and it makes you a very wanted piece of interest to write about. If you'd simple be an unknown girl he was dating, then his team probably would suffice, in this case, it is not enough." An overwhelming feeling washes over me and I reach for the glass of water, taking a big sip. I exhale a deep breath and run a hand through my hair trying to focus my attention back on Candice as she speaks. "-so meaning all communications with the media; individuals, spokespeople, be it phone calls or e-mails would go through me instead of you, 24/7." I blink a couple of times and run a hand through my hair. "Look Dean if you think this is best then we should do it… Shouldn't Emma have been here?" Dean nods reaching for the intercom "Felicity?" Several minutes later Jared walks into the room followed by Emma and his publicist . After greeting everyone Jared kisses me quickly and sits down next to me, soft smile as he reaches for my hand, tangling his fingers with mine. "So excuse me asking, I get what and why but at the moment the only thing that's been surfacing of us both is the paparazzi shots ta-" Dean shakes his head cutting me off and Kurt jumps in. "Yes, the paparazzi shots are annoying but those are the least of your and our concern.." he exchanges a glance with Emma and before opening his laptop he types away on the keyboard only to turn it our way several seconds later. "Articles like these, that's what we want to protect you from." I reach for the laptop and pull it closer.

Jared Leto and Samantha Morgan finally go public with their relationship. Jared Leto (40) and MTV reporter Samantha Morgan (25) are head over heels in love and they are done hiding away in secrecy... Recent sightings of the couple in Abu Dhabi, where Leto's band 'Thirty Seconds to Mars' performed, shows them holding hands and sharing a heated kiss while waiting for their car when out on a romantic date. The public smooch follows about a month after the couple finally revealed their secret love past Valentine's Day, Monday Feb 14th. The couple managed to keep their relationship private and off the radar for the past months but it seems they have decided to take things public. The pair met when Samantha signed on for an artistic writing adventure with Leto's band, Thirty Seconds to Mars, in May 2010. She was taken on board to write their exclusive Tour Diary and follow them around as they toured the United States. At the time she was still in a longtime relationship of)3 years and engaged. Yet not long after she joined the band on the road that relationship stranded and based on the 'incomprehensible' tweets her then-boyfriend Caleb.S posted to his public twitter account in an ugly aftermath that addressed both Morgan and Leto, we can only assume Leto lives up to his reputation of being quite the womanizer making Morgan yet another trophy on his shelf. While Leto's rep was unable to provide us with any comment and MTV keeps silent about their up-and-rising star, we do have a source close to the couple that confirms their relationship isn't at all recent. "Samantha and Jared have been secretly seeing each other for months, it started not long after she signed on." The source tells us exclusively "Them being an item, it's a public secret amongst the crew."

It feels like all the air leaves my lungs as I re-read the article. “Samantha,” Jared whispers. I take a deep breath and look up at Kurt “Who wrote this?” He looks to Candice and Dean before looking back at me “Miss Morgan we …,” I place my hands flat against the table “Who wrote this? I can tell from the look on your faces you know who it was. I didn’t see any name or alias and this is just a gossip website. Dean? Who.Wrote.This?” Jared sighs deeply “It was Andrew.” I whip my head towards him and feel my cheeks burning. I turn around and start marching towards the door when Jared grabs me by my wrist and stops me “Sam … I know what you want to do right now, but that won’t fix anything. You can’t just storm up to Andrew and confront him.” I glare at him “But I can punch him in the face. Will make me feel so much better about this.” Jared sighs disapprovingly before ushering me back to my seat “Having an assault law-suit against you won’t help either Samantha. Andrew is trying to provoke you and if you storm into his office like you want to he will have won.” I cross my arms as I sit back down “Well, then what do you suggest?” I all but mutter, feeling so annoyed. My head hurts, my throat is sore, I have cramps and now above of that all I’m pissed off. Candice looks at me with a reassuring smile “We do nothing.” She raises her finger before I can start ranting again “And with that I mean we ignore the article. Pretend it doesn’t exist and we prepare ourselves. Samantha, Jared, our best defense is offence. I suggest you guys just keep doing what you are doing now. If there are paparazzi just ignore them and be the happy, in love couple that you are. You will start to bore them when nothing exciting happens so … let’s keep it as uninteresting as possible for now.” I chew my bottom lip “And what about this?” I raise my hand with my engagement ring on it. “That can wait, keep it hidden when you are in public. When you feel the time is right to go public with your engagement we will make sure it happens drama-free.” Jared nods and looks around the conference table “Well, I think that wraps it up? If you’ll excuse me, I really need to go now, I have another pressing appointment.” Jared gets up and shakes hands with Dean, Candice and Kurt. I get up and follow behind him “Samantha, here is our business card, it you have any questions or are experiencing any problems, call us. No matter when or how late.” I shoot her a forced smile “Thanks Candice.”

Walking towards the ungrounded parking Jared pulls me close “Why are you this upset?” I shrug “I don’t know. I’m just, still not feeling too well, I guess. Where are you off to?” Jared throws me the keys to the white rover “The Lab. Mind driving? I still have a few phone calls I need to make. If you drive it saves me time.” “Sure.” I open the driver’s seat and hop it. As I pull out of the parking my mind is racing. Who is the source Andrew is getting his info from? Some things he wrote he knew from when I was still working at the L.A Times but … not everything is old news. Rounding the corner I spot several paparazzi stalking the exit and sigh. “How the hell do they even know we are here?” Jared excuses himself on the phone “Just, drive past them and ignore them Sam. It’s known we just came back from Oman and you working here is not really a secret so I’m guessing they are just lucky. Jared puts his hand outside of the window and I laugh, a cough accompanying it. “You are waving at them?” Jared snorts, “Not really, just go.” I shake my head and put on the radio. Instead of driving home I head over to my mom’s place. Jared keeps shooting me confused glances up until I pull up on the drive way. “I’m going to spend some time with Mom if that’s fine with you? You going to pick me up before we head out for dinner? I still need to change.” Jared places his hand on my knee giving it a slight squeeze. “Sure, give your mom my regards? I’ll pick you up at 4?” I nod and hastily turn Jared my cheek as he wants to kiss my lips “Oh come on, Sam!” I quickly jump out of the car “No! My cold has only gotten worse and I don’t want you to catch it or you’ll get pneumonia and die.” Jared pulls a face and gets out as well “Whatever, Morgan! I’ll get that kiss, just wait and see!” He rounds the car and gets in the driver’s seat pulling out of the driveway as I wave him goodbye. Turning I spot Mom standing in the doorway. “Oh Samantha, you look sick.” I slouch over and let her pull me into a hug “I think I have the flu, and a cold, and I’m on my period.” Mom kisses my forehead “Come on, let me make you some chicken soup for lunch and you rest up?” I smile and lean into her “Nothing beats Momma’s chicken soup when I’m sick.” She smiles as well “Just like old times.”

Mom and I catch up on my Middle Eastern adventure as she makes her delicious chicken soup with toasted whole grain bread. After lunch we decided to nestle ourselves on the couch and watch a movie like we always did when I was sick.

“Sammy? Sam wake up sweetie.” I open my eyes and blink as I spot Jared hovering over me. I sit up and rub my eyes “What? How late is it? I just … closed my eyes for a second.” Jared smiles as the sits down next to me “It’s 4pm Sammy.” I stretch and look at mom who is sitting on the other couch with a mug of tea “I fell asleep? Why didn’t you wake me up?” I moan. “You needed the nap, sweetie.” “But I haven’t seen you in a while and I’ll be so busy again soon, I really wanted to spend some quality time with you.” She gets up and cups my cheek “You were here, that’s all that matters sweetie. Plus, you fell asleep with your head in my lap, just like when you were a little girl.” I smile and let Jared pull me from the couch. “You need to come over for dinner before he head to Brazil, Maggie. I’ll invite my mom as well?” She smiles and hugs Jared “I would love to.” Jared nods and smiles. We say our goodbyes and head home.

I’m confused when we pull up to the lab “No more sleepover at Shan’s?” Jared shakes his head and reaches into the pocket of his leather jacket. “I had the locks to the house changed.” He hands me a bundle of keys “And the security codes changed as well. You now have your personal code.” I look at the little piece of paper and feel my heart swell “This is the date we went to Disney?” Jared smiles and nods “It is … I wanted a special date and that day … it changed everything for us.” I lean in to Jared and capture his lips, slipping my tongue inside and kiss him passionately.

When I pull back Jared’s eyes are still closed and a sly smile plays on his lips “Told you I would get my kiss,” he whispers before opening his eyes. I lean in and plant another small kiss on his lips “If you are sick, blame yourself.”

With another few hours to spare I start doing a much needed chore : the laundry. Since we had stayed over at Shannon’s, suitcases of dirty laundry were awaiting me and I doubt our intruder would be up to doing it for me.

After putting in tree loads of laundry and letting the freshly washed clothes dry I head upstairs to get ready for the double date. It’s the very first double date we’ll have all alone. All the other times either Tomo and Vicki were there or the entire crew was as well. It reminded me that I needed to send a text to V and make time to catch up….

I slip into my black pumps and smooth my hands over my blue peplum dress. The front between my boobs was made of a black see-through fabric and it had a open back, leaving me bra-less.

I pin my hair on top my head and place a big silver hair pin in to keep it all together.

Jared whistling makes me turn around and smile. “Why would you dress up this sexy when I can’t touch you.” I smirk and twirl around “Delayed gratification is so much sweeter, Jay.” He growls and moves to stand behind me, pulling me against his chest, hands on my stomach. “You look gorgeous, you sure you are up for it? Mexican on a upset stomach?” I turn and kiss Jared’s cheek, leaving a pink stain “I’ll be fine, I’ve been looking forward to a double date ever since I knew Kara had feelings for Shannon.” Jared kisses the tip of my nose and then slaps my ass “That’s for the lipstick on my cheek. So … not that I’m bringing it back up but … is something wrong between Kara and Shannon? I mean … about this morning.” I shake my head “Jared, just drop it. It’s none of our business! I don’t even know if they are officially together. Maybe it’s still a casual thing.” Jared puts his hands up “Fine. I won’t ask you again. I’ll just ask Kara instead.” I slap his ass hard as he turns to leave “Oh no you won’t! You know how Kara is! You’ll embarrass her!” Jared fakes a mock shock

“That slap on my ass … It kind of turned me on …,” Jared turns around completely and backs me up towards the closest wall “Why do you torture yourself Jared?”

“Maybe I’m the kind of sailor that sails the red sea?” I feel my eyes grow big and gawk at Jared “You didn’t just say that … that’s disgusting.” Jared bursts out laughing. “Luckily for you I am not only a hormone driven man, I can handle a week without. It’s just so much fun to get you going.” I slap his chest “Talking about going, we should leave or we will be late!”

10 minutes later we arrive at “Guisados”. I feel my stomach rumble and quickly jump out the car, following behind Jared. I keep my distance just in case there are paparazzo’s lurking. Spotting Kara and Shannon in the distance and can tell something is up by their body language. “Hey, we’ve made it.” I smile as I first kiss Shannon and then Kara. Shannon’s face is pulled tightly but he manages to shoot me a smile and quickly follows behind Jared, heading inside. “Sam?” Kara whispers. I turn to her and spot her worried look “What’s wrong?” I ask as I lace our arms together and usher her inside “Shannon … he … he knows and he freaked out. We had a huge fight … I, I don’t know what to do!” tears are lingering in her eyes as she stares at me. “Oh sweetie,” I say as I pull her into a hug. Looks like our relaxed double date just turned out to be a little less ‘relaxed’.

#Welcome To the Universe.#Chapter 4 #For truth for love and my desire #part 16 #under pressure #fanfiction #mars fiction

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New part tomorrow Tuesday October 29th at 9 pm cet!

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Pictures with part 15.2 adventures in wonderland

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dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 11 years

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'For truth, for love and my desire' - Part 15.2: Adventures in Wonderland

Twirling a strand of hair around my curling wand I glance into the mirror and spot Jared heading into the bathroom holding his black jeans and a black shirt. "Hold it." I say spinning around. "You're not planning on wearing that are you?" A confused look washes over his face as he glances to the pieces of clothing in his hand and then back to me. "Something wrong with this?" A soft sigh escapes me as I unroll the strand of hair from my wand and place the sizzling hot curler to the side on the dresser. "We've locked tables at one of the most exclusive clubs in town for your brother's birthday..." placing my hand on my side I raise my brow and fiddle my finger along his shirt. "You better properly dress up Mister." His lips press together in a fine thin line and his brows dart up "Fine. I'll put in an effort." Lacing an arm around me his hand lands on my ass and he pulls me close, lips pressing against mine. "You look stunning by the way." "You like it?" I ask twirling around smoothing my hands out over the colorful dress with bright floral print and mesh inserts. "Emma snatched it along for me when she went to explore the city." Licking his lips Jared nods and leans close, his finger lingering over the mesh v-cut cleavage at the front. "I very much like it." His eyes twinkle with delight as ever observant he is he notices I'm going bra-less for the night. I bite my tongue and grin, slapping his chest softly. If only he would know that I have skipped another essential piece of undergarment as well, then again... I'm sure he'll find out about that somewhere during this evening. "Do you want me to pick something out for you or will you manage something decent?" I grin and he fakes a hurt look. "Pretty sure I'll manage thank you very much!" Pulling away from me he walks over to his suitcase and sorts through it. Giggling I walk back to the mirror to finish my hair and start on my make-up. Having chosen an outfit I want to turn around but he quickly shields whatever he picked from his suitcase and darts into the bathroom to take a shower. Ten minutes later he re-emerges from the bathroom and I suck in my lip, chewing it softly as my eyes linger to Jared in the mirror. Tucking up the sleeve from his white dress shirt to his elbow his blue eyes meet mine, big smile flashing on his lips. "How about now? Is this approved?" He looks smart and stylish wearing his grey glen plaid single-breasted waistcoat with matching pleated trousers." "Very." I nod with an approving smile as I turn around. "You should have dared to say no." His breath hits my ear as he brushes past me to put on his shoes.

I giggle finishing the last touches of my make-up. Smacking my lips together I smile at my reflection and run my fingers through my soft curly hair. "All done!" I say twirling around. Jared grins running his fingertips along his slicked back hair and glances at his BlackBerry. "And you even have time to spare! Congratulations!" Snatching my purse I fling it towards him but miss as he ducks to avoid it. "Aren't you a funny one." Grabbing my own BlackBerry I glance at the screen when it lights up. 'Wardrobe emergency, Can you come over? I have nothing to wear! x Kara' I chuckle as my eyes scan over her text and shake my head. "Seems like my spare minutes will be put to full use as Kara has a wardrobe emergency!" Jared glances up with a frown. "Emergency?" Slipping into my pumps I giggle and walk over to him. "I'll give you one name; Shannon." Jared can't help but snort and I press a quick kiss to his lips "I guess I'll see you downstairs in the lobby?" He nods as I brush my index finger along his lips, removing the velvet red lipstick from his lips. His hands fall from my hips and I turn to the door. "Oh, btw.." I turn around as I open the door. "Very very sexy look." I wink with a giggle and close the door behind me.

Just as expected it to be, I walk into a war zone. It’sas if Kara's suitcase has exploded. Pieces of clothing are scattered all around the room. Dresses, jeans, tops and skirts all around. "Oh good God, Kara." Pressing the palm of my hand against my cheek I glance at her. Chewing her lip she nervously twirls a strand of hair around her finger. "I... I know." Sighing deeply she plops down amidst the pile of clothing on the bed and stares at her hands in her lap. "I... I don't know what to wear." Raising a brow I glance around. "Shouldn't be a problem, You've brought plenty." Her eyes shoot up to me and she exhales a deep breath. "Sammy, It's not funny...I want to look pretty, it's his birthday after all." I sigh softly and smile sitting down next to her. Crossing one leg over the other I nudge her shoulder. "I know sweetie... But it doesn't really matter what you're going to wear though..." confused eyes look at me. "He'll only have eyes for you." Her cheeks flush a bright shade of pink and I pull her close. "Come, shall we have a look around this mess of a room?" A soft giggle erupts from her throat as I jump to my feet. I thought it would have been an easy task, but it wasn't. With every combination Kara found an excuse for it not to be the perfect outfit for this evening, with every outfit she dismissed our options got limited, to a point I had gone through her entire suitcase and we were still left without a dress. Pressing my lips together in a taut I stare at her. "It is just a party, you do realize that." "Hopeless, this is hopeless." She moans laying on her bed with her arm draped across her face. "Unless..." Jumping to my feet I clap my hands together. "On your feet Miss Jones!” Pushing herself up on her elbows Kara stares at me bewildered. "Come, we only have five minutes left." Grabbing her by the hand I pull her off the bed and snatch her purse and pumps from the ground. "This is your only and last option. Better go with it." By the time we reach mine and Jared's room, Jared has already left to the lobby. "Sammy what are you doi-" "I'm fixing you an outfit. You will take it, put it on and look pretty." crouching down in front of my suitcase I rummage through it till my fingers find what they are looking for and I smile approvingly. As I hand the dress to her I place my finger up in the air. "Not a word. Bathroom, change. Now." I command plopping down on the bed while tapping my BlackBerry. Chewing her lip she takes it and disappears into the bathroom. "SAM!?" A shrill panicked cry emerges and I whip my head up, staring at the closed door with big eyes. "Y-yes?" "I can't wear a bra with this dress!" I simply stare for a moment and then break out in a chuckle. "I'm sure Shannon won't mind of that little fact. You dressed yet?" As I ask it the door opens and a hesitant Kara walks out, her hair now pinned up, several strands dangling loose around her face. As my eyes marvel over her I smile widely. "You look great." "You sure?" she asks with a hesitant tone in her voice. "YES!" I say sternly nodding my head motioning her towards the big mirror. My short soft pink sequin dress fits her perfectly and the plunging open back put a feature on her beautiful angel wings across her back. Getting up from the bed I cross my arms. "Well? What do you think?" "It's a pretty dress..." she says tugging the skirt of the dress and then runs her hands along her boobs. "I feel naked...." she mutters under her breath. "You will not be changing again. Come, they're waiting." I say as my BlackBerry jolts to life, Jared's name flashing on the screen. Walking towards the door I hold it open and look at her as she quickly puts on her pumps. "Shannon likes sparkly things and he likes you. Perfect combination." She puffs out an uncomfortable breath slipping on her vest and I roll my eyes "Hey, at least you're still wearing underwear." She stops dead in her tracks, eyes big as balloons she stares at me and I break out in a laugh. "Kara.. we're, um, late..?"

As Kara and I exit the elevator I feel all eyes turn to us. Everyone has dressed fancy for the night out, the boys all sharp looking wearing dress shirts and vests and the girls looking gorgeous in dresses or as proven by Emma looking sexy in a lace peplum top and faux-leather pants with stilettos. "Sorry we're late, we had an eh, emergency." I smile slightly halting at Jared's side. "Mission accomplished?" He whispers into my ear and I nod. "Wasn't an easy one though." I whisper, my lips pressing softly against his. Shannon's eyes admire Kara next to me and her cheeks blush a soft shade of pink, matching her outfit. As the group slowly retreats outside Kara walks over to Shannon and he brushes his fingertips through her hair, tangling a loose strand around his index finger. "You look beautiful." He says. Lacing my fingers with Jared I gently tug him along to the revolving door leaving the two love birds behind in the lobby by themselves.

It's a full-house at the club but luckily we have our own private tables outside on the terrace, overlooking the beautiful marina bay and F1 circuit nearby.

Raising his glass of champagne Jared glances at his brother "To celebrating your birthday in style for a change!" A dirty amused grin appears on Shannon's face and he raises his glass too. "Happy soon to be birthday you old fart." Jared jokes and everyone laughs. "I'm only as old as I feel brother." Shannon winks taking a big gulp of his glass and places it down on the table.

“Plus, I am only one year older than you so if I am an old fart so are you.” I almost choke on my champagne as the words leave Shannon’s lips and stare at Jared.

The biggest grin appears on his face as he moves closer to his big brother and pulls him close by his shoulder “Than we are two old farts!” Shannon boulders out laughing “Here, here!” I spot Daniel snapping a quick picture of the brothers before they break apart and Jared moves back to me. “So, what do you want to do?” Jared whispers into my ear, cheek brushing against mine, hand landing on my hip giving it a squeeze. I bite my lip and look at him, our lips only inches from each other.

“I want to spend some time with my sexy fiancé,” I whisper back and let my hands caress his chest, moving them up and over his shoulders. Jared brings his lips to mine and slips his tongue past my lips, kissing me lazily. Tingles spread all over me and I push myself flush against Jared, feeling his arousal trough his pants. “God, I want you so badly. I don’t know what this is, but I just want to feel, touch and taste you ever damn second of the day.” I smile, my forehead resting against his “I think it’s this place. I feel so sexy and horny all the time as well.” Jared smiles widely, his hands traveling down to cup my ass, not really caring who see’s. “Samantha,” he whispers before licking and then nibbling on my earlobe “Are you … going commando?” There is an edge to his voice and as I pull back I just stare at him. “Fuck,” he whispers giving himself a squeeze “You tease.”

A drum beat flows through the air and it sounds oddly familiar. “Oh my GOD, NSYNC!” I hear Kara yell out as a remix of ‘Tearin’ up my heart’ flows through the club. “SAMMMY!” Kara squeals and as I turn I see her dance her way to me. I quickly kiss Jared on the cheek and move to Kara. When we reach each other we just start dancing, jumping and laughing to the song. Not long after Sarah and Emma join us.

The four of us are dancing, backs against each other, asses grinding “Let it go, If you want me girl let me know! I am down on my knees, I can’t take it anymore!” I sing to Kara and she sings back to me “It’s tearing me up my heart when I’m with you. But when we are apart I feel it too! And no matter what I do, I feel the pain with or without you!” All the girls join in “Tearing up my heart and soul, we’re apart I feel it too, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain with or without you!” As the song starts nearing its end I grab hold of Kara’s hand and start to move back inside. “Where do you think you are going?” Jared calls out as we pass him “Dance floor!” We call back in unison and giggle. Jared nods and I can feel his eyes follow us all the way down the stairs till we get on the dancefloor. It’s packed with beautiful women and gorgeous guys dancing to the beat. We stay on the dance floor for a few songs when I suddenly spot our entire crew heading over. “Jay!” I call out as Jared reaches me and throw my arms around his neck. “You are dancing way too sexy on the floor. All the guys are eyeing you like they want to devour you,” he yanks me close to him by my hips “But I am the only one who is allowed to touch you.” I throw my hair back and move against his body to the beat, Jared never missing a move. A slower, sensual song has started to play and everyone is dancing up and on each other.

I turn, my back now against Jared’s chest and slowly move up and down, pushing my ass into Jared groin every time. He growls into my ear and I can’t help but smirk and I feel his teeth sink into my skin. Opening my eyes I find Shannon and Kara dancing very close to one another as well. “Let me lick you and down till you say stop. Let me play with your body baby, make you real hot. Let me do all the things you want me to do, ‘cause tonight baby, I want to get freaky with you.” Jared sings along with the song. I turn again and lean into him “I wish we could get out of here and head back to the hotel.” Jared licks his lips “Almost midnight, after the cake we can get out of here.” I shoot Jared a naught smile and lose myself in the music again.

10 minutes before midnight Emma ushers us all back upstairs so we can celebrate Shannon’s birthday more in private. Shannon moves over to me, giving me a new glass of champagne “Almost midnight! You ready?” Shannon smiles widely, enveloping me in a big hug “Yes! Thank you for all of this.” I smile and kiss his cheek “You are welcome!” “Almost midnight! Let’s count down!” Tomo yells. Shannon moves to the center of our group and we all start the countdown “10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNON!” Emma appears with a big chocolate cake and places it on the table. It’s decorated with a mini drum kit and a big ‘41’ candle in the middle. “Blow the candle and make a wish!” Kara cheers. Shannon leans in, blows out the candle and everyone cheers. Emma quickly starts to cut the cake in pieces and I spot Jared and Tomo moving closer to one another, whispering.

“WE WON’T STOP SINGING TILL YOU DANCE AROUND THE ROOM, WE WON’T STOP SINGING TILL YOU DANCE AROUND THE ROOM!” They both start singing. All of us quickly join in and Shannon is laughing, shaking his head as he starts doing a crazy dance, grabbing Kara and making her join in.

It’s getting close to 2 am and I’m starting to feel a little tired. The club is still packed, even upstairs where we are, more VIPS’s have arrived, filling up the tables on the other end of the terrace and inside. I’m sitting on the bench talking to Myke when a woman from the other side of the terrace pulls my attention. She’s been staring at Jared ever since she arrived. Smiling seductively when he happens to glance in her general direction, dancing sexy with her girlfriends. “Looks like someone is desperate for Jared’s attention,” Myke points out. I nod and nibble on a cherry from my cocktail. “Ugh, don’t get me started, she’s all but begging, on her knees in front of him.” I sigh. Myke bumps my shoulder “You okay with this?” I shrug “I’ve been there, seen it before. I’m not jealous anymore. I know Jared loves me and no one else.” My thoughts drift back to Lauren for only a second before my eyes get drawn to the girl making her way over to Jared who’s stood talking to Tomo. “This is going to be interesting,” I mutter to Myke. She finally reaches Jared and flips her black hair, her green piercing eyes looking over him. Since we are outside, I can’t hear everything they are saying. The girl offers Jared her hand which he ignores and his eyes narrow as he grants her one look before ignoring her. I snort as she doesn’t get the hint and tries to strike up a conversation with Jared. His stance changes immediately from relaxed to defensive and dismissive. Jared smiles at Tomo and nods as Tomo walks away. Jared turns, his eyes narrowed, boring into the girl and I see her flinch. He leans in ever so slightly, whispers something to her. His face pulled stern and very cold. I swallow hard and kinda feel sorry for the girl at the moment. I wouldn’t want to deal with this cold, hard, dismissive Jared. Licking my lips I try to ignore what this side of Jared is doing to me. It’s turning me on, hard. I see the girl nod once, her face pulled together tightly and as she turns, I swear, she looks like she’s about to burst into tears. When Jared turns around and his eyes land on me, the anger and distaste still there I lurch up and head over to him. It takes him two strides to get to me and he all but attacks me. Lips crashing hard against mine, tongue pushing into my mouth. “Hotel. Now.” He roars. I nod, feeling excited and so turned on. I quickly say goodbye to everyone, Shannon shooting me a few suggestive looks and grab my stuff heading over to Jared. He grabs my hand and guides me trough the club outside. He glances around and without warning pulls me towards the side, pushing me against the wall. He finds my hands and pins them behind my back. He doesn’t say anything but the sex oozes out of him. He’s lusting for me. His lips find mine and he kisses me again. I can’t help but moan and he pushes his pelvis into me. I pull back, breathing hard and he let’s go of me. He leans into me again, nose rubbing against mine, his slightly swollen lips brushing over mine.

“There is nothing more I hate than over confident chicks, begging for my attention. Did you know what she said to me?” I lean back against the wall, looking in his eyes

“Do I want to know?” He chuckles “Well since our ride is almost here and you can’t run back in and pull out her extensions. She told me she wanted to suck me off and make me moan her name.” I feel my eyebrows pulls together and make a gag sound. Jared hands are next to my head in heartbeat, his chest pressed against mine again “There is only one woman who can suck me off. Only one name I’ll ever moan and that, is, yours.” His breath tickles my ear “Samantha,” he whispers. A shiver runs down my spine and Jared pulls me from the wall, guiding me to the escalade who just pulled up.

The ride over to the hotel is spend in silence, though the tension between Jared and I is heavy. We don’t waste any time heading over to the elevator and are all over as each other as it rides up to our floor. Jared pulls his lips from mine and pulls me behind him towards our hotel room. He quickly unlocks the door and pulls me inside with him. Kicking the door closed he has me pushes up against the wall in a heartbeat, his tongue inside of my mouth. I moan into the kiss and let my hands wander all over his body.

His hands have traveled down my ass and slipped underneath my dress, softly caressing me, making me even wetter. “Such a dirty girl, no bra, no panties.” I smile as he nibbles my neck and softly bites down. “I thought you would appreciate it?” He pulls back so I can see his face, a wicked look plastered on it. “Oh, but I do, Sammy.” His finger finds my opening and he slowly slips it inside, leaning back into me “It drives me wild.” I gasp and let my head lean back against the wall as Jared slowly moves his finger in and out of me. I feel my body trembling and Jared hold me up against the wall “You like that, don’t you?” I open my eyes and nod slowly. As he pulls out his finger he inserts two and I lurch forward. “Jared.” I all but scream and he smiles wickedly before pulling them back out. “Let’s get you out of that dress,” he muses. My head is spinning a little as turn around and let Jared slowly take off my dress. I’m standing in front of him, naked, in only my pumps. I lick my bottom lip and step forward running my hand over his vest and start to unbutton it along with his dress shirt and pants. When Jared is naked as well I push him against the wall and get down on my knees. Looking up I lick my lips and grab his cock “Let’s see if I can really make you moan my name.” Opening my mouth I take as much of him as I can and start sucking. With my hand I softly cup his balls and massage them in time with my sucking. It doesn’t take Jared long before his hands are in my hair and he helps guide himself into my mouth, keeping a steady pace. “Yes … oh God, Samantha. Yes.” He moans. I hollow my cheeks and starts pumping my hand along with my sucking. “YES!” Jared calls out and I can feel his balls go up. It won’t take him that long to come. I keep sucking and licking and as Jared yanks my hair I can feel his cum shoot into my mouth. I keep sucking, slower now, as I drain every last drop till he lets go of my hair and yanks me up by my arms. Jared scoops me up in his arms and walks us into the bedroom, dropping me to my feet in front of the couch. “Bend over the arm rest.” He orders me and I do as I am told. I feel him stand behind me, hands moving up from my legs to my ass and my back. His hands are soft as they caress my body. Jared gets to his knees and I feel his soft breath hit my opening as he spreads my legs further apart. When his wet tongue makes contact with my heated clit my body lurches and Jared grabs a hold of my hips, holding me steady.

He starts licking at clit. His tongue swirling around the swollen bud and then licks down to my opening. I’m so hot and so ready to come, the tension at the club, the blowjob from moments before, it has left me desperate and wanting. It’s like Jared can read my body perfectly as he starts working my clit again and brings me to the verge of an orgasm. “Yes, almost there!” I cry out. Jared starts licking faster and when he suddenly slaps my ass so hard I come, crying out and clutching the couch beneath me. Jared lets me ride out my orgasm before I feel the tip of his cock press against my opening. “It turns me on when I make you scream like that.” He whispers in my ear as he pushes into me slowly. From behind it makes it a little more difficult for Jared to fill me up entirely, so I adjust my stance a little to grant him a few inches more. “Oh Sammy,” he says leaning into me. His hand finds my hair and he twists it around his hand pulling my head back. He slips his tongue inside of my mouth and kisses me as he starts to move. His other hand finds my throat and he softly wraps his fingers around. Too much is happening at the same time for me to even be able to freak out by it. Jared is moving in and out of me with so much force, his fingers applying only a little pleasure. My eyes are closed and my breathing is labored.

I’m slowly falling apart with each trust and feel Jared’s body tense against me. He’s not far off himself. He wraps an arm around my waist pulling me against him, his other hand still around my throat and leans us against the couch. “Oh Jared,” I moan as he pumps harder into me. Jared moans loudly and his entire body tenses and then he comes again. His hand quickly falls from my neck to my clit and he starts stimulating me even more. My body starts to shake and I call out his name as a second orgasm takes over my body and I slump against the couch, totally spent. Jared pulls out of me and guides me to the bed.

Exhausted but satisfied I collapse against Jared’s heated skin. “You are all I ever need Sam.” Jared whispers softly as he strokes my hair. I smile against his skin and plant a small kiss right where his heart is as I feel his breathing even out and I know Jared has fallen asleep.

Today is going to be a long day. Everyone's running on little sleep with yesterday's celebration ending very early this morning. Exiting the bathroom I stretch my arms above my head sighing deeply and run a hand through my hair sitting down on the bed. I don't feel any better than yesterday and my symptoms are still present. When our wake-up call arrived at 7.15am this morning, Jared instructed me to stay in bed when I felt lightheaded, unsteady on my feet and sported a migraine. He looked visibly concerned and even had my blood pressure checked, which was a lower than usual. There's a soft knock on the door and I slowly get up. Opening it I am greeted by Jared, soft smile on his face. "Good Morning Miss, Room service." I giggle softly opening the door a little further and he brushes past me. "You feeling a little better?" placing a small basket down on the table he turns, eyes wonder over me and I nod. "A little." Curiously I eye the basket. Standing in front of me his thumb brushes my cheek. "You still look a little pale, you hungry?" I shrug, shaking my head slightly. Tongue darting from his mouth he wets his lower lip. "I got you a special delivery." Jared smiles and wants to plant a kiss on my lips when I turn my face and offer him my cheek. His entire body freezes and he cups my chin staring at me with big questioning eyes. "I might have a bug going and I don't want-" I start to explain, his brow raising higher, a blank face washing over his face. "Pretty sure that that logic is very illogical after our escapades the past couple of days." He mutters with a slight wink and presses his lips against mine. Lacing his fingers with mine he walks me to the table and my eyes roam the content of the basket. Delicious and healthy goods. Fresh Fruit, honey, Granola, Orange Juice, variation of tea and much more. A sweet gesture but only looking at all the food has a tight feeling forming in my stomach. I swallow hard and sit down on the stool, forcing myself to eat a small portion since Jared went through all the trouble bringing me this.

Arriving at the meeting point Jared laces his fingers with mine as we walk towards the little office where everyone is stood awaiting in group outside. "You ready for part 2 birthday boy?" I ask after greeting everyone and Shannon nods. "Very excited!" "Not too much of a hangover?" I giggle poking his side and he tilts his sunglasses slightly. "What hangover?" he winks. Evan and Braxton both groan slightly pushing their sunglasses higher up their nose and it has everyone in laughter. Basil, our guide greets us and takes us into the office to take us through safety precautions. After a short 10 minute briefing the group is led to the awaiting white Toyota Land Cruisers and broken into smaller groups to explore the world's largest dunes. The outstretched scenic beauty surrounding us almost feels like a dream. We drive pass herds of camels, spotting foxes and gazelles. About two hours later like an oasis in the remote desert, the traditional Bedouin tent safari camp rises up amidst few palm trees and surrounded by hurdles of goat and camels. The hospitality is warm and friendly, we are lead around given a short tour of the entire camp before we have lunch sitting on cushions on a giant carpet, experiencing traditional food and music. After lunch we leave the camp behind and head into the desert once more heading for the dunes. Basil, our driver, had been quite vague about what was to come but soon everything was cleared up as we drifted across the sand, dashing over the dunes like maniacs. Firmly grabbing hold of the overhead hand grip I pull a horrified face as the entire car dips over a dune at a high speed. "Holy shit." Jared says taken by surprise and my entire stomach pulls together. This certainly wasn't helping my nausea. Pressing the palm of my hand flat against the seat in front of me I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath. The entire car swerves as we drift across the sand at a high pace. We climb and slip down, race to the top, twist and turn.. And with every passing second my nausea increases. I'm gripping the overhead grip for dear life, focusing on a single point on the seat in front of me. "Can.. Can we stop?" I ask quietly glancing to Jared. "I... Stop." I pipe out with big eyes and Jared's eyes widen too. "Stop." he instructs. The minute the car is almost to a stop I swing the door open and jump out. Taking several steps away from the car I crouch down and feel my entire body pulls together as I dry heave. A hand touches my shoulder softly, strands of hair brushed back over my shoulder. "Here". Jared's crouched next to me, bottle of water in his hand. "Thank you." I say quietly. By now the other cars have pulled over too and I sigh softly. Jared caresses my back softly and presses his lips soft against my temple. "Basil has offered to have the planned stop here so you can recover a little." Swallowing another sip I nod softly and get up. "You gonna be okay?" Jared asks concerned. "I can have you escorted back to the hotel?" I shake my head. "No, this is Shannon's birthday, I don't want to miss it. I'll take something and I'll be fine," I wink and pat him on the chest softly. "Really, I'm fine.” I assure him when the concern still lingers in his eyes. Turning around I retreat back to the car and smile softly as Shannon is chasing after Kara, shrill shrieks of laughter leaving her mouth as he captures her and whips her up and over his shoulder.

The entire group gathers on top of the dune and Jared clears his throat glancing at his watch. "Many, many... many years ago," Jared jokes with a grin swinging his arm around Shannon's shoulder "This amazing fella next to me, my older brother, was born around this time. Let's hear it!" Everyone breaks out singing 'Happy Birthday to you' and Shannon radiates with happiness. "Speech!" Kara and I both shout at the same time and Jared nods "Yes, any speech you want to give?" Silence falls for a moment as Shannon looks down to his feet, his tongue swiping along his lip. "No.. I'm speechless." He says glancing around taking in his surroundings and we all break out in aww's. The drivers head to the cars and pull out sand boards, they look similar to snowboards and a fun time follows as the guys board down the dunes. Laughter filling the air as not everyone masters the skill from the very first time, Daniel failing miserable.

A good two and a half hours later we arrive back at the camp where the safari team has prepared a typical Arabian barbecue for dinner, an entire table is filled with delicious mouthwatering goods and there is plenty for everyone. Sitting down I sigh softly, the meal looks delicious but my stomach is still very upset so I decide to keep to a small portion of vegetables and bread, trying out only a tiny piece of kebab. They treat us to a true royal feast and I really hate that I can't eat more of their delicious food. After dinner the boys take back to the dune surfing, while me and Kara decide to get some traditional Arabic art. While the lady is drawing up some beautiful art on my hand I decide to ask the delicate question to Kara. "So... " turning my head I glance at her with curious eyes. "How did Shannon's birthday night go?" I raise my brows and rest my chin against my fist. I am met with a blank look and then suddenly her mouth drops slightly "Oh... it eh... we…" she stutters and I raise my other brow too. "Nothing happened." She shakes her head briefly and clears her throat. I squint my eyes "I've observed you two today, all playful, feeding each other during dinner..something is up.. did you te-?" Her head whips up and her eyes meet mine. "No I did not." She pauses for a moment. "It got really late when we got back, we talked for about an hour after we got back and he offered to stay. We simply slept in the same bed and fell asleep, that's it." Her cheeks flush slightly as Shannon walks into the tent when she finishes her sentence. "That's looking really cool ladies!" He says admiring the art work while putting his thumbs up. I smile at him "So how are you enjoying your birthday?" "It's a pretty damn good one!" he nods "Today has been a wild adventure.. everything has been... perfect. I'm all energized for the gig!" I chuckle softly. "You girls nearly done? You have got to see that sunset!" Five minutes later the beautiful delicate Henna drawings are finished and Kara and I join the others outside. The sunset was indeed beautiful, one of a kind. The big red sand dunes silhouetted and glistening on the immense open landscape to an orange sunset sky. "We better get going." Jared whispers pressing his lips to my temple and I nod. "I've asked them to drive a little less reckless..." Jared says quietly lacing his fingers with mine and I smile softly. "Thank you."

The next day everything revolves around the gig. In the morning the band has a meeting with the venue, sound check is scheduled at 10 am and the entire afternoon the band is hopping from interview to the other, going from one radio station to the next. Arriving back at the venue late we are rushed for dinner and the meet and greet starts later than planned and get's cut short since the fans need to claim their spot. Jared barely has time to meet his physical therapist as the support act has just left the stage. This entire day I feel like I am doing all and everything besides taking notes for the Diary, thank God Kara is here! I've been helping out at the meet & greet and now I'm pasting down A4 reminders and several set lists on stage. I have a feeling this won't be a typical gig. Dangling the big roll of green duck tape on my arm I move over side stage, hopping over two legs popping out from underneath the drum riser. "Evan, you are a freaking stage hazard." I laugh kicking his feet and legs and he shouts something inaudible back at me. Myke laughs and as he points his camera at me I take one of Evan's legs and pretend to pull it very hard with a shocked face. Evan's head pops out from the drum riser and he glares at me then as he takes notice of my look and spots the camera he breaks out in a laugh.

Standing at my spot between the barrier and the stage I feel somewhat out of my comfort zone. Normally I'm tucked away side of stage but now I am all exposed. Steeve had asked me if I wanted to accompany him picking out people for Kings and Queens, it's a different view on an action I have only seen from up on stage and it will be nice to write about. Taking my camera I snap a few pictures of the energetic crowd as they break out in ecstatic cheers when the guys start off 'The Kill'. Turning my back to the crowd I capture Jared interacting with and playing the crowd like a true master. Overlooking the several pictures I aim my lens back at the crowd and smile. I've always enjoyed watching them from my spot at the side of the stage but up close and personal I feel their energy reflect onto me as I snap pictures. 'Come break me down, burry me burry me. I am finished with you...' Security guards brush past me, providing aid to a girl in need to the far right, reminding me how crazy the pit can get. The fans at the barrier to my side break out in screams, a subtle hint that Jared is not far off. Glancing up to the stage I spot Jared standing right above me, grin on his face as his eyes scan around. I know what he's up to, they know what he's up to... He's searching that spot, his spot to claim. Steeve motions to me to move out of the way and I shoot him a nod walking away while Steve walks over. The several security guards look nervously at each other, wondering what the hell that crazy lead singer is going to do. I turn and watch from a distance, fiddling nervously with the cord of my camera. Just as I'm thinking about the distance between the stage and the barrier, Jared jumps and Steeve safely grabs hold of him as he makes it onto the barrier. A small relieved sigh leaves my lips and I snap a few pictures before placing my camera to the side. Twirling my ring on my finger I watch as Jared resists the help from the venue security guards around him, even Steeve is barely allowed to hold on to him. I chew my lip with slight tension as my eyes stay locked on Jared. He's firmly grabbed hold of a tall guy's hand, battling to stay upright as he's stood on the barrier singing. 'This is who I really am inside. Finally found myself, fighting for a chance-' In the blink of an eye his shirt is snapped off and he's stood shirtless, the torn and ripped piece of clothing eagerly snatched by grabby hands of screaming girls. Jared get's pulled, grabbed at,... and even though I've seen him jump down and head into the crowd many times before, watching the scene happen right before me has several horror scenarios unfolding in my mind. Casting my look down at my feet I exhale a soft breath and tuck my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM-" his scream is loud and clear, and as I look up I spot Jared is heading my way, Steeve and several security guards following his lead. He has a determined look on his face yet as his eyes dart to me and connect with mine, his eyes grow soft and a reassuring look fills them as he reads me like a book. While the crowd breaks into chants singing the 'Oh's' he halts not so far from me and turns, jumping back onto the step of the barrier. 'Come on, sing it with me! Ooh-oh...' While the crowd follows its cue to sing their hearts out, Jared searches a steady hand and grabs it firmly as he takes a step higher and is now stood out above the crowd onto the barrier as a few seconds ago. And as always, eager hands wonder over his sweaty shirtless body feeling him. While my eyes scan the front row I spot two girls taking a sneaky picture of me and I quickly pull a funny face, poking my tongue out which makes them break out in a smile and giggle. The rush of today left me without time for a change of t-shirt, and my current outfit didn't exactly go for a more incognito look as I am wearing my pink cropped and torn MTV logo top.

As ‘the kill’ nears its end Steeve glances at me, my cue to prepare. Spotting Michael just finishing shooting a shot I motion at him and hand him my camera to take with him as he's about to join Daniel and the others back at the side of the stage. The next few seconds happen all so quickly, Jared hopping back on stage, security scrambling back to their places, Steeve following close to me as we roam the barrier. Observant fans have already figured out what we are up to and as I pick out two girls with cute neon face paint several others shout out to us, asking to pick them out as well. It's not easy, deciding who you grant the opportunity of joining their favorite band on stage and who you 'leave behind'. I point out several girls, some of them are sporting cute cat ears, the others simply have a certain look in their eyes. Jared is rambling on stage, talking about how he loves their country, how amazing the past few days have been. It makes a soft smile spring to my lips. Spotting a taller guy on what appears the third row I point him out, motioning at him to get over the barrier when suddenly a security guard launches forward at me and starts making grand gestures. "No, no." Quite startled at the unexpected outburst I raise a brow and gaze at him with big eyes. "It's okay, the band arranged this." I assure him and turn my attention back on the fan. A hesitant look meets his eyes as he's still on the third row. Bringing my hand up I nod at him gesturing to come forward when the same security guard grabs hold of my arm firmly. "Stop. No people of the barricade" By now the fan has reached the barrier and I glance at the fans surrounding him. "Help him over will you?" I smile softly and turn around, yanking my wrist loose. I notice Jared's attention has fallen upon the turmoil at the front and his eyes meet mine for a brief moment. "No people on this side!" The security barks and I puff out a breath. I began to feel slightly annoyed with this man. "What appears to be the problem? This has been cleared..." there's a slight edge in my tone as I address him. Then as he completely obstructs the guy from getting over the barrier my patience wears thin. "ENOUGH. You're hindering the flow of the damn show." I snap annoyed. "Okay, I don't know what the fucking problem is down there but don't make me get down there..." Jared suddenly speaks up, an edge to his voice. As Steeve walks over to me he motions at Jared to continue with the show and after an exchange of stern looks, he does. "Who of you crazy people wants to join me on stage for this next song!?" Jared calls out and I fling my arm up in the air. "See!? Now let me do my damn job." I hiss shoving him out of the way. "You okay?" Steeve asks pulling me aside and I nod. "Asshole," I mutter glaring at the security trailing away and Steve can't help but chuckle patting my shoulder. "Welcome to front of stage, isn't it lovely down here?"

As the intro to 'Kings and Queens' builds, so grows the group of people on stage. The security feels powerless and overwhelmed and suddenly they panic and threaten to cut the show if we don't stop and get a small amount of people back off the stage. Yet again I am faced with security barking in my face and I sigh deeply. "Alright fine! I'll stop! Seriously." I hiss putting my hands up as I guide a girl up the stairs. At the top of the stairs Kara stands with a confused and slightly worried look on her face as she lends her hand to the girl and motions her across the stage to where she needs to go. "What is going on?" Kara pipes and I shrug shaking my head. "I don't know!" It is then that I notice that Jared has disappeared from the stage. My eyes scan around and spot turmoil at the far left of me in front of the stage. As I near I notice Jared in between Steeve and a small group of security, a heated discussion ongoing. Jared's blue eyes are cool and flare with anger as the security guard from earlier motions my way. My mouth drops slightly at the accusation. I can't really make out what he's shouting at Jared but I can tell it's leaving him far from impressed. Jared puts his hand up and shakes his head. "You leave her out of this. She was just doing her job." His voice is edgy and stern. "This is ridiculous. This is how we do it every night." Steeve says as Shannon has left his kit and sits down on the edge of the stage, observing the discussion. I look up at him with big eyes and mouth a 'wtf is going on.' Shannon shrugs, a hint of an amused smile on his serious face. Never had they encountered something like this. Security by now are talking amongst each other about putting the show to a stop, not really caring about what either Steeve or Jared have to say. I'm simply standing there, unsure whether to stay put or.. retreat back to Kara.

I nervously fiddle my pass between my fingers observing one of the security guards make a 'cut the show' motion with his hand and Jared switches into serious business. "This set up is advanced, we are not quitting the show." The security guard wants to stop Jared by grabbing him by the arm as he wants to get back on stage and Jared meets him with a dead stare. I swallow hard at Jared's cool stare and Shannon drops down from the stage taking notice how visibly tense his brother is getting. "Don't fucking cut my show. Get back and let us get on with our show this is ridiculous man." Jared hisses and disappears on stage. The moment he reappears screams raise from the crowd and all the troubles vanish from his face. His annoyed look trades for a cheeky one as he hypes the crowd up and leads the show into the final song. As the show ends the little dispute has not left Jared's mind, sporting a grim look he mumbles something to Emma while marching off the stage and snatches the white towel from my hands. "This one's gonna be a late one isn't it?" Wiping his face he lowers the towel and a soft sigh leaves his lips, blue eyes softening. "I'm afraid so." Shooting him a soft smile I touch his cheek and lean in planting a small kiss on his lips. "You go tell them."

#Welcome To the Universe.#Chapter 4 #For truth for love and my desire #Part 15.2 #Adventures in wonderland #written by C and T #fanfiction #Mars fiction

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