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#jimin fics
jungshookz · 7 months
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y/n doesn't know how to be petty & jealousy is not a good look on jimin
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➺ pairing; park jimin x reader // balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!y/n
➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!! i think there’s a fairly good balance of honk honk humour and angst and fluff in here but i could be wrong!! seulgi (once again) is a pot-stirrer and you can either love her or hate her for it!! jungkook’s cute and is a really good dance partner!! 
➺ wordcount; 12.1k
➺ summary; surprisingly enough, both y/n and jimin are great at acting unaffected by their devastating breakup — it’s only when they’re reunited two weeks later in class that their nonchalant, callous composures begins to crack.
➺ what to expect; “i just think the respectable move is to wait until we’re done learning, mr. park. or would you like to continue wasting everyone’s time by singling out jungkook and i just because you’re clearly in a sour mood for no reason and seem to be enjoying using us as your emotional punching bags?” 
➺ currently playing on cee.fm; need you now — lady antebellum 
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
the feeling of your phone buzzing rapidly against the mattress is the thing that rouses you from yet another restless night of sleep 
you kept waking up every few hours and every time you woke up you’d be awake for at least another hour before dozing back off 
you’re pretty sure you fell asleep close to six in the morning and according to the clock on your bed stand it’s already 1:30 but somehow you still feel so, so groggy despite getting seven and a bit hours of sleep 
you peel an eye open reluctantly, staring at the bright vibrating rectangle for a few seconds before you drag your arm up lazily to grab it because something crazy must be happening if the group chat is chirping away like this 
you’ve had your phone on do not disturb for the past week (except for the few times lisa clearly hit the ‘notify anyway’ button to get your attention) so you’ve kind of been out of the loop but being present and a functioning member of society isn’t exactly the first thing on your mind 
people are right when they say time just melds together when you’re going through a breakup because you honest to god do not even know what day of the week it is 
“okay, what’s going on…” you mutter to yourself, voice thick with sleep as you roll over onto your back and bring your phone up to your face to unlock it 
it takes you a couple of tries to get into your phone because of how bright the screen is and you curse before resorting to typing in your passcode with fumbling fingers instead 
you haven’t been on your phone too much because… well, you’ve just not really been in the mood to do anything but rot in bed all day with the curtains drawn — and not to mention, every time you’re on your phone you’re just waiting for a text or a call or literally anything from jimin but unsurprisingly it’s been complete silence on his end
you’ve mostly been ordering takeout and also you’re pretty sure you went the whole day without drinking water yesterday, so all in all, it doesn’t seem like you’re handling this very well 
what makes things worse is that you have class today and it’ll be approximately a week since you last saw jimin and the two of you officially ended things and seven days is simply not enough recovery time — you haven’t even accepted the fact that you can no longer call him your boyfriend and that you have to call him your ex-boyfriend now (and teacher, but it’s not like that’s anything new)
i think we should end things permanently, because i want to be in a real relationship instead of whatever the fuck this has been. 
jimin’s words ring loudly in your head and you feel your eyes starting to well with tears for the trillionth time in a row as you mindlessly scroll through all the notifications that have been marinating on your phone for the past seven days 
the only thing you’ve been able to focus on is replaying that last conversation with jimin in your head and it’s driving you up the wall
i never said i was ashamed to be with you, jimin. 
you never had to say it for me to see it. 
“god…” you mutter, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose in a poor attempt to stop the tears from flowing 
you haven’t been able to stop thinking about jimin and what makes it harder is the fact that you can’t talk about this with anyone without exposing yourself and jimin 
and as much as you love lisa, you know that if you told her she would of course be concerned about you but would also have a million questions for you and you’re just not in the mood for an interview at the moment 
another thing you’ve been thinking a lot about is what would’ve happened if you grabbed the phone and called lisa when jimin told you to call your friends and tell them the truth
would he have stayed? 
was that really the proof that he needed to show him that you wanted to be with him? 
would that have fixed everything?
you’d still have to hide your relationship — the only difference that telling your friends would make is that mr. park would be accused of playing favourites and knowing a few of the chatterboxes in class, word would spread very fast and it probably wouldn’t take long until you get an email from the dean asking you and jimin to come and speak to him 
and then either jimin would get fired or you’d be expelled and both those options sound like hell 
with that being said, wasn’t it an incredibly unfair move on jimin’s part to ask you to do that for him? 
what if you’d asked him to call the dean to tell him that you two were together? 
given the circumstances, wouldn’t jimin be hesitant to do it as well??? 
well, you suppose in your scenario it’s a little less high stakes because you’d just be telling a close friend, but still… you did the right thing, didn’t you? 
it was irresponsible of both you and jimin to enter into a romantic relationship when you guys are teacher and student, and you had to put an end to it before the truth eventually came out and tore the two of you apart
this was the right thing to do 
now jimin can continue teaching, and you can continue learning at this very prestigious dance academy that you worked very hard to get into 
plus mom and dad would probably kill you if you got expelled over something as scandalous as this
sometimes doing the right thing feels bad! and it’s okay that you feel very, very bad at the moment, because feeling bad is just a normal part of the human experience.  
you let out a huff of frustration, rolling onto your back as you look up at the ceiling 
…but how do you know if you did the right thing or not? 
you let out a slow exhale, shaking your head as you bring your phone back up to look through all your texts
you can’t help but wince a little looking through all your missed notifications throughout the week
most of your texts are from lisa and you know she’s going to want some kind of an explanation of your disappearance 
from: lisa [wednesday 9:08am] — are you okay? barely heard from you all week 
from: lisa [thursday 6:23 pm] —  ?? 
from: lisa [friday 10:32am] — y/n 
from: lisa [friday 11:02am] — helloooooo some kind of indication you are alive please 
from: lisa [friday 8:14pm] — okay well you’re still sending me tiktoks so ik you’re alive 
your thumb goes tired from scrolling through all of lisa’s texts and you finally reach the end to see that she texted you a few minutes ago 
from: lisa [1:22pm] — are you coming to class today? 
your fingers pause slightly as you think about how to respond and how to act casually about the fact that you’ve been a ghost for the last week 
to: lisa [1:34pm] — yes!! i’m coming 
to: lisa [1:34pm] — SORRY i haven’t been responding to your texts, social battery’s been weirdly low and feeling blegh bc period but i’ll see you today mwahaha 
unsurprisingly, lisa doesn’t take too long to respond because she’s always on her phone and it’s never on do not disturb- 
from: lisa [1:35pm] — hmmmm okayyy hope you’re feeling a little better at least? just glad ur alive! i’ll see u later ALSO read the group chat bc omg i’m dead 
from: lisa [1:35pm] — mr. park
your stomach dips a little in anxiety at the mention of mr. park because the point of looking through your texts was to distract yourself from any thoughts of jimin, but then again, why are you surprised? the girls are obsessed with him and he’s always a hot topic in the group chat 
one time he showed up to class wearing a pair of jeans that made his butt look really good and it was a topic in the group chat for like a week and a half straight 
you switch over to look through the group chat, scrolling up the literal hundreds of texts until you get to what’s clearly the meat of the conversation 
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — You guys aren’t going to believe what I heard
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] —  Rmb how I said I’m pretty sure Miss Im and Mr Park are like meant to be 
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — Apparently they were out on a date this weekend
lisa [best ballerinas 🤍] — wtffff NO WAYYY wait where’d u hear it from 
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — One of the guys from Miss Im’s class 
seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — He slid into my DMs after their performance 💅🏼 as he should 💅🏼 and then we were texting for a bit and he just told me that he saw them walking around downtown together lmfaooooo I totally called it 
you don’t even bother reading the rest of the messages but through your frantic scrolling you manage to catch a message from seulgi teasing you directly about losing your precious mr. park and- “oh, just give me a break!” you groan obnoxiously, tossing your phone aside before flipping onto your stomach and letting out a muffled scream into your pillow 
great!
good for them!
good for jimin, good for nayeon, good for the happy couple! you’ll have to make sure to ask jimin if you’re allowed to bring a plus-one to their wedding and what colour they want to paint the nursery for the child they’re going to have who’ll undoubtedly be the cutest baby on the goddamn planet- 
the thought of playing hooky and calling in sick so you don’t have to go to class crosses your mind briefly, but then you remember that in order to do that, you’d have to call mr. park to let him know (one time, lisa asked jisoo if she could let him know that she wouldn’t be in class because of a bad cold, and both lisa and jisoo ended up getting mildly scolded because why are you asking your classmate to talk to me for you, and why are you talking to me on behalf of your classmate?) and needless to say, the last thing you need is to talk to jimin and pretend like the only problem you have is that you’re not feeling well and you don’t think you can come to class today 
and not to mention, with this new piece of information of him and miss im going out on a date over the weekend, you don’t want him thinking that he won the breakup because you’re so heartbroken that the only thing you can do in stay in bed and cry (even though technically that’s what you’ve been doing all weekend, but whatever) — as heartbroken as you are, you’re just as stubborn so you will be going to class and you’re going to try your absolute best to keep it together… you have to.
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
jimin splutters after splashing icy, ball-shrivelling cold water onto his face, blindly fumbling for the towel in his duffle bag before using it to pat himself off 
he looks at himself in the mirror, leaning closer and reaching up with a finger to pull at the bags under his eyes
the last time he had bags this bad was when he would stay up all night rehearsing for his own exams 
there’s not enough concealer in the world to hide the bags he has now 
needless to say, this breakup has completely destroyed him and this is the first time he actually has no idea to conduct himself after ending things with someone 
he’s had flings and short relationships all throughout high school, undergrad, and even at the academy, and it usually only takes him a few weeks to fully flush his ex out of his system, but he can already tell that this breakup is nothing compared to those ones 
sure, he was sad after his breakup with nayeon and couldn’t even force himself to get over her for much longer than he’d anticipated, but that was then and this is now — and now, he can fully say that the breakup with you is one of the most devastating things to ever have happened to him 
he’s been so out of it all week that he even ordered pizza for himself on friday night instead of digging into his usual meal of [insert choice of lean protein here], roasted vegetables and brown rice… a family sized pizza 
a family sized pizza!!! a pizza for an entire family!! 
the only time he went out this week was saturday afternoon when nayeon texted him to ask him if he wanted to go out for coffee and also to discuss what they wanted to do for their conjoined class today 
and to be honest, jimin barely remembers what they talked about that day and he’s hoping that nayeon will carry them both through today’s class because mr. park is just not mentally here at the moment 
to be honest he’d kind of been dreading coming to class (can you blame him?) and he considered calling in sick and cancelling class today, but if he cancelled today, that’d mean he’d have to have an extra makeup class next week and- well, he can’t avoid seeing you forever 
it’s just that he doesn’t even know if he can look you in the eye after you basically showed him that you don’t want to be with him 
it’s embarrassing 
he’s heartbroken and humiliated and hurt and you’re basically the only thing that’s been on his mind this whole week 
admittedly it was a little selfish of him to demand you to call your friends to tell them that you were dating him
it was an unfair move on his part and he knows he acted out of emotion, but… well, he just wished that you fought harder to keep him, that’s all 
and it’s true that he always felt like you were slightly embarrassed to be with him — he was never afraid to hold your hand in public and act like a normal couple but it was always a little upsetting to turn and see you cowering down or hiding behind a pair of sunglasses or baseball hat or something to conceal your identity 
he knows that you only did it to protect the both of you from being exposed, but you didn’t have to hide yourself all the time 
you guys couldn’t even go to restaurants without you quietly requesting for a table at the very back to avoid being seen by anyone passing by 
maybe this breakup was for the best, now that he’s had a week to think about it…
sure, his relationship with you was one of the best he’s ever had and he’s pretty sure he’s head over heels in love with you and would 100% say it back if you said it to him, but hey! he’ll get over it one day 
you’re his student, he’s your teacher — it was inappropriate from the start and it was irresponsible of him to pursue anything with you, so this breakup was a good thing 
it never would’ve worked out in the end, and it’s better that it ended sooner or later
this was just a lesson from the universe that he had to learn, and yes, it was a very hard lesson, but he’s always been good at learning and he’s just going to take this as a sign to not get involved with another one of his students ever again!
it was silly of him to think that it would ever work out in the first place, anyway, so if anything, he should be able to move on and move on fast 
easy peasy 
“easy fuckin’ peasy.” jimin clears his throat quietly, running his damp fingers through his hair as he looks at his reflection in the mirror from side to side, “i’m park fuckin’ jimin. top of my class, aced all my exams, youngest and most sought after teacher at this academy,” he puffs his chest out slightly, nodding to himself as he feels his confidence coming back to him
he’s mr. park, he knows he’s hot shit! 
he doesn’t need you to feel complete
he doesn’t need you at all
he hears the voice in his head let out a laugh of disbelief followed by an all-knowing alright, keep lying to yourself if this is how you’re planning on coping with this breakup and immediately shuts it out before bending down to grab his duffle bag, swinging it over his shoulder before putting a pair of thick-rimmed, square framed glasses on 
he forget to order more of his contacts over the weekend so he’ll have to wear his stupid dorky ass glasses today (the memory of you telling him how much you love it when he wears his glasses flashes in his mind and he shuts it out as best as he can, but the thought of getting you flustered today in class with these glasses makes the corner of his mouth twitch in a cocky smirk.) 
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“wow, look who’s alive!” you jolt in surprise when lisa slings an arm around you from behind, leaning her head against yours with a grin as the two of you continue walking towards the main doors, “period cramps are brutal this month, hey?” 
“yeah, it’s been- ha, not great, you know how it is-“ you press your lips together in a tight smile as you pop your airpods back into the case so you can give your friend your full attention, “sorry i… barely texted you all throughout the week, i’ve just- um-“ you clear your throat quietly, pausing for a second to think about what excuse to give lisa
you feel awful for lying to her about all of this because you know that lisa would never be upset or angry with you and is only here to help you because she’s your friend, but still… the wound is a little fresh at the moment so lying will have to do 
because if you rip this bandaid off right now and she gives you that sympathetic head tilt and shoulder droop and big sad eyes combo, you are 100% not going to be able to make it through this class without completely losing your mind and you are certainly not about to burst into tears in front of your classmates 
“you’ve just what?” lisa nudges your side to get your attention and you look over at her, your mouth still hanging open with no fake excuse sitting on the tip of your tongue 
you’ve never really been good at thinking of things on the spot
you’ve also never been good at lying so there’s that to consider as well 
“i just… i don’t know! weird mood. one of those weeks, you know?” you shrug weakly, lisa’s brow raising slightly before she purses her head and nods slowly 
“no, that’s okay! i was just worried about you, that’s all. but you… know you can talk to me about anything, right?” she holds the door open for you and you offer her a meek smile, swallowing the lump in your throat as the two of you head towards the changing rooms 
“yeah, i know.” you respond quietly, choosing not to say anything else after that even though you know you’re acting very suspicious and you have a feeling lisa knows you’re hiding something from her 
“you excited for class today?” she changes the subject swiftly and you immediately nod even though you have no idea what’s happening in class today, “i’ve been buzzing about it all week. miss im’s boys are so fine.” 
“they’re- oh, we have the, uh- they’re coming to our class today, right? we’re, like, pairing up with them or something like that, right?” you clear your throat, opening your locker door up before sitting down on the bench to take your sneakers off, “yeah, they’re all very nice to look at. that jungkook guy is nice, i follow him on instagram.” 
“oh, jungkook is- mmph-“ you can’t help but giggle when lisa bites her fist, “he’s more than very nice to look at. you should ask him out. he was making googly eyes at you at mr. park and miss. im’s performance.” 
the reminder of that night immediately kills the vibe and you feel your mood drop, but you focus on taking your socks off instead of thinking about i think we should end things permanently, because i want to be in a real relationship instead of-
the sound of lisa’s locker door slamming shut snaps you out of it and you turn to see that she’s already fully dressed and ready to go with her water bottle in one hand and her phone in the other, “you want me to wait for you?” 
“you can go in first! i’ll be a while, i-“ you look down at yourself and your sweatpants, letting out a breath because you’re already exhausted and changing into a leotard is no easy feat, “i still have to change and then i have to pee and stuff, but i’ll see you in there.” 
as soon as lisa leaves, you feel yourself slump as you lean over with your elbows on your knees, your mind immediately spacing out 
you are not mentally here right now and you don’t know how you’re about to go through a two hour class where the main thing you have to do is focus otherwise you get in trouble for it 
“it’s a guy.” 
you immediately perk up when you realise you aren’t alone and you turn to look over your shoulder, your brows knitting together in confusion as you blink up at seulgi before looking back down at your duffle bag quickly and pretending like you were in the middle of going through it, “what are you talking about? and how the hell did you get in here so quietly??” 
“it’s a guy. am i right?” seulgi sighs, ignoring your second question (though you are genuinely curious how she managed to come in without you noticing, or maybe you’re just really really checked out that you didn’t notice her at all) and plopping herself down on the bench next to you before crossing one leg over the other and crossing her arms over her chest, “that’s why you’ve been acting so off all week.” 
“what are you on about?” you snort, though you can’t help but think to yourself how true it is that women are very intuitive when it comes to pretty much anything but especially when it has something to do with men 
and seulgi is the best at figuring things out — especially when it comes to things that are literally none of her business like this! 
“you’ve been weirdly civil with me over text when you usually bite back with something.” she raises her chin slightly, her gaze never leaving your face, “you never just sit there and take it.” 
your eyes flicker slightly and you find yourself unable to look seulgi in the eye for more than two seconds before looking away, and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle when she gives you that one look that screams i’m not going to stop pestering you until you tell me what drama you’re swept up in 
“what makes you think that me being civil has something to do with guy problems?” you blurt out, your cheeks starting to grow pink out of anxiety because now you know that seulgi’s onto you, “also, we rarely text and talk outside of class except for when we’re out with the other girls for brunch or something. why do you care about my texting style all of a sudden?” 
“well, you didn’t deny anything.” seulgi points out, and your hand immediately freezes in your bag upon the realisation that yeah, you didn’t deny anything and seulgi is definitely onto you and is also definitely right because you definitely are going through guy problems right now 
but how much can you trust seulgi? you haven’t even told lisa who is arguably your best friend in the class and also the entire world
“we aren’t friends, seulgi. you don’t have to pretend like you care.” you mutter, voice wavering slightly as your eyes begin to brim with tears because this is the first time someone’s asked you if you’re okay in person and clearly you’re an emotional wreck if seulgi is the one asking and it’s making your eyes tear up 
keep it together, keep it together, keep it together, you remind yourself, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you pull your leg warmers on and quickly reach up to wipe a rogue tear away before seulgi sees you crying 
“so it is a guy.” seulgi hums, nodding her head to herself before clicking her teeth, “knew it. is it someone we know? was it a hookup? long time situationship? did he ghost you? have you been secretly dating someone this whole time and you just got dumped by them?” 
all the blood drains from your face as you turn your head to look at seulgi with wide eyes (nearly snapping your neck in the progress), your lips parting before you quickly shut then and turn back to pull your slippers on 
seulgi’s eyes widen before she blinks rapidly 
no way 
this whole time you’ve been dating someone?! 
to be honest seulgi’s always thought you were a massive prude who would crumble at the sight of a couple holding hands in public so this is actually a pleasant surprise for her 
“no fucking way!” seulgi delivers a harsh slap to your shoulder and you press your lips together, your eyes fluttering shut because fuck, the jig is up and now you have to confess to your sins to someone who cannot be farther away than good and holy, “oh my god. y/n y/l/n, you sneaky, sneaky girl. who?!” 
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“are those new leg warmers?” lisa looks over at you as you stretch beside her, and you look down at your brand new (grey, with little thunderclouds on them) leg warmers before nodding, “yet another pair for your already extensive collection…”
“well, what can i say?” you chuckle, reaching down to smooth them down a little before shrugging, “i wasn’t gonna get them, but retail therapy always makes you feel better when you’re feeling like shit.” you blurt out, looking up slightly when you realise that saying retail therapy implies that something happened in which you need to make yourself feel better 
“retail therapy? what on earth bugged you so much that you needed to buy something?” lisa snorts, pulling her hair up into a ponytail in the mirror 
“probably just dealing with the fact that she knows she’ll never be as good of a dancer as i am.” seulgi butts in, letting out a sigh before shaking her head, “it’s okay, y/n. not all of us were meant for the stage.”
“thank you for the reminder, seulgi. you keep me humble.” you joke, giving her a soft smile and acknowledging her attempt at a distraction with a little nod — you ended up telling seulgi absolutely everything in the changing rooms (but not before triple checking that nobody was around to listen, because that would’ve been a disaster for sure) because… well, it was killing you having to hold everything in! and seulgi, believe it or not, was willing to lend an ear and actually listen for a change instead of blabbing her mouth off like the know it all she is 
much to your surprise, seulgi told you that she wouldn’t tell anyone about this (to be perfectly honest, seulgi thinks it was kind of sick of you to break the rules and date your own teacher, because it’s very unlike y/n y/l/n to do something as taboo as that… she has a newfound sense of respect for you because she would probably also do the same thing if she was in your position because who in their right mind wouldn’t launch themselves full speed at the chance to date mr. park?? but she’ll never tell you that because she knows it would go to your head and you would try to become best friends with her and she’s pretty sure that your relationship works better when you’re frenemies who are constantly trying to one-up each other.) 
“they’re a little… gloomier than what you usually get…” lisa giggles, reaching over to jab a finger into one of the thunderclouds, “still cute, though! and it matches the weather.” you turn to glance out the window, frowning at the sight of the dark grey clouds hanging in the air as the the windows tremble from the weight of chubby raindrops smacking against it rhythmically 
the weather for the past week has been absolutely dreadful and definitely hasn’t made you feel any better, but you have to admit that it was kind of relaxing laying in bed all day listening to the sound of the rain 
“well, the weather is shit, but what makes me feel better is knowing that in a few minutes this room is going to flooded in an ocean of hot testosterone-“ lisa wraps her arms around herself before shimmying her shoulders with a squeal, “aren’t you guys excited?! i don’t know why you aren’t more excited that we basically get a free pass to flirt with boys for the next two hours-“ 
“i’ve got my eye on seokjin,”  ailee chimes in, “god, i would climb him like a goddamn tree.” 
“you know who’s actually built like a tree? kim namjoon. you seen those thighs of his?” 
“well, i’m gonna see if i can get paired with hoseok — i’ve seen him dance, he’s super good. he does hip-hop too, the man can do it all-“ 
“yoongi and i already spoke last time so i’m pretty sure we’re gonna hook up in class and also out of class-“ 
“you guys just stay away from taehyung, because i’ve been eyeing him for so long-“ 
“y/n, what about you?” you feel lisa nudge your back with her foot and you spin around on your bum to face the group, “well, i don’t think i need to ask you who you want to be paired up with.” 
“you seem to be convinced that jungkook was making googly-moogly eyes at me but i’m telling you that he was just being friendly-“
“oh, well- yes, jungkook was definitely making googly-moogly eyes at you and i’m pretty sure he’s going to try to get paired up with you so don’t even worry about that- i was talking about mr. park!”
“wh- what?” your eyes widen slightly and you let out a nervous laugh, “i- what- what makes you think that i- why would i get paired up with mr. park?? that’s not even- that’s not even allowed, i don’t think a student is allowed to be paired up with a teacher for an exercise like this-”
“why are you getting all flustered??” lisa laughs, reaching over to pinch your thigh, “oh my god, i was just teasing you because of the fat crush you have on mr. park, i’m not actually saying you’re going to get paired up with him, dummy-“ 
“even if y/n was paired up with mr. park, she’d probably clomp all over his feet.” seulgi snorts, “besides, she- oh, shit-“ she immediately gets up and you turn to see jimin walk into the room, muscle memory forcing you up from the ground so you can stand with your feet in third position with your hands behind your back next to seulgi 
you feel your heart racing in your chest as the familiar smell of his cologne wafts past you and you immediately look down when he walks past you
you just hope that no one can hear how hard your heart is pounding because you would’ve appreciated some kind of warning before jimin came into the room 
you’re just going to keep your head down and stay in the back of the class for this lesson, and then you’re going to slip out with the girls at the end of class as quickly as you can 
“good afternoon, ladies…” jimin greets lowly as he makes his way towards the front of the room, his voice slightly raspy from the complete lack of sleep he’s gotten 
he drops his duffle bag on the ground as he looks out at the godawful weather, frowning slightly because no one’s responded to him and he thought he taught you guys better than that! it seems like two weeks without class has turned you girls a little sloppy…
“i said, good afternoon, ladies…” jimin tries again, emphasising his tone before turning around swiftly with a tilt of his head, leaning back against the counter with toned arms crossed over his chest, “what’s the matter, you guys forget your manners?”
“good afternoon, mr. park!” everyone fumbles to respond to his greeting, and you find yourself barely mumbling out a barely coherent ‘afternoon’ before continuing to stand in your spot obediently 
“…alright, jesus, i don’t know what the hell that was-“ jimin scoffs, shaking his head with a mild expression of disgust on his face, “maybe it’s a good thing miss im and her students are coming over today so you can see how proper students are supposed to act!” he claps his hands together before reaching into his back pocket for his phone, “miss im will be leading the class today, i’m just gonna be hanging around the back as her co-teacher, but please do your best and try not to embarrass me in front of her students. she just texted me and let me know that she’ll be here on time, so just continue warming up until they get here…” 
“someone woke up on the bitchy side of bed this morning. what do you think his problem is?” lisa mutters to you as the class disperses back into doing warm-up exercises, and you shrug with one shoulder and plop back down on the ground 
“i bet i know.” seulgi snorts, and you shoot her a warning look before she smirks and sends a blowing kiss in your direction 
you turn your head slightly to look over your shoulder, surprised to see jimin looking right at you before his eyes flicker and he quickly turns and looks down at his phone instead 
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“now, the purpose of today’s class is just to familiarise yourself with dancing with a partner — after all, it’ll be one of the things you have to do during your exams at the end of the semester!” nayeon chirps, standing tall with her clipboard held close to her chest, “mr. park and i were dance partners, as you know… it’s also important to develop a bond with the person you’re partnered with. if there’s no bond, there’s no trust, no warmth, no chemistry, and all of that will be visible on stage through your dancing, so i cannot emphasise how important it is to really strengthen the connection you have with one another.” 
“well, there’s more than one way to do that-“ taehyung mutters, the class breaking into a collection of snorts and giggles before going silent again when jimin gives them one of his signature unimpressed death glares 
he’s barely spoken a word since nayeon and her boys came into the class ten minutes ago because that’s how mentally checked out he is 
it’s actual torture having to be here with you standing across the room as if he doesn’t have a million questions lined up and ready to go 
were you just lying when you said you loved him? did you know he was awake? did you do it on purpose to get him to become more attached to you??? did you date him so that you would be chosen for the nutcracker at the end of the year?! 
he made brief eye contact with you earlier (he was staring at the back of your head and wasn’t expecting you to turn and look back at him) and he swore he was going to start tearing up when the two of you locked gazes which is why he had to look away so quickly 
“i’ve paired you up randomly, so i’m just going to read your names off my list. when you hear your name, pair up with your partner and stand to the left side of the room and wait quietly until everyone’s been paired up,” nayeon clears her throat, looking down at her list, “lisa and taehyung, jisoo and seokjin, seulgi and namjoon…” 
jimin resists the urge to blow his cheeks out and roll his eyes out of complete boredom as he stands next to nayeon with his arms behind his back, occasionally glancing down at her list to see how many people still have to be paired up
“-y/n and jungkook-“ 
he immediately perks up at the mention of your name, eyebrows furrowing when it’s followed by jungkook’s name because what the hell does nayeon mean by y/n and jungkook?? 
“oh, uh-“ jimin nudges nayeon’s arm, “you- you paired y/n up with jungkook? we, uh, did we… did we talk about that, or…?” 
“what do you mean? i asked you if you had any preferences for partners and you told me to sort them out, don’t you remember?” nayeon whispers, using the tip of her pen to trace a line down her page before tapping right next to your name and jungkook’s name, “plus y/n’s clearly your strongest student, and jungkook is mine, so i’d like to see how they work together. i think they’ll work out quite well, they already seem to be pretty friendly with each other…”
“y/n and jungkook.” 
you look up when you hear your name being called and you immediately look over at jungkook, offering him a shy smile when he beams and starts to make his way over to you 
what a pleasant surprise!
you actually really like jungkook — sometimes he sends you memes on instagram or he’ll swipe up and respond to your stories, so the two of you have interacted more than a handful of times and you think he’s a pretty solid guy 
and you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t handsome (and it kind of gives you an ego boost knowing that he might have a teensy weensy crush on you)
“pst- make him jealous.” you hold back a yelp when seulgi suddenly burrows her fingers into your side and you turn to glare at her 
“what?”
“make. him. jealous.” she enunciates through gritted teeth, eyes flickering over to jimin before she looks over at a smiley jungkook, “nothing wrong with being a little petty.” 
“what- i’m not going to make him jealous, that’s not going to solve anything-“
“it won’t solve anything, but would it be so wrong to have a little fun to make yourself feel better?” 
“seulgi, i don’t like being petty and- hi!” you turn your head and greet jungkook with a bright smile, letting out a chuckle afterwards, “nice to see you again.”
“likewise! i’m glad we got paired up.” he nods, standing a little closer to you as the two of you return your attention to the front where miss. im is in the middle of giving her tips for the girls 
“try not to help your partner! you kinda just have to trust them — i know it’s very tempting because you know the combination and you know what step comes next, but the best thing to do is to just keep a strong core and focus on yourself! that way, your partner can- you know, kind of put you where you need to go. so, what we’re going to have you do for this exercise is, girls, you’ll make up a short combination, tell your partner what that is, and then immediately perform it on the spot.” miss. im turns to look at jimin, “so, mr. park, do you have any tips for the boys?”
“uh, i mean…” jimin purses his lips slightly, “use your palms, not your fingers. it wouldn’t feel good for your partner to have your fingers digging into their ribcages especially. also, you’ll be able to have more control when you’re using your palms instead of lifting with your fingers. just, uh… yeah, trust in your partner.” he nods, looking over at nayeon to signal that he has nothing more to add
god, he really is out of it today 
“any volunteers?” nayeon purses her lips as she looks around the class, not surprised to see that majority of you are avoiding eye contact with her (it is pretty intimidating dancing with all of your peers looking at you and judging every move, but it’s something that all of you will have to do eventually), “alright, then i’ll have to choose, since no one is taking the initiative.” she chirps, smacking her palm flat against her clipboard before turning to look right over at you and jungkook, “jungkook, y/n — would you like to come up here and demonstrate for the rest of the class?” 
you feel the hairs on your arm prickle in anxiety as you stand there for a second in silence, both you and jungkook exchanging glances before you turn back to look at miss im with a meek smile, “ah- yes, miss im.”
you were expecting everyone to break out and scatter around the room instead of immediately performing in front of the class, but you suppose everyone’s already warmed up and ready to go… 
“bepetty.” seulgi coughs quietly, and you turn to see jungkook holding his hand out for you to take
“shall we?” he grins, clearly very confident in your guys’ ability to impress the whole class with your little routine, “don’t worry miss im, y/n and i will try our best not to completely amaze you with our routine, but no promises…” jungkook’s comment gets a couple of laughs and you giggle lightly before taking his hand and letting him lead you to the front 
“that’s easy for you to say, i’m the one who has to come up with the routine-“ you add on, the corner of your mouth lifting in a knowing smirk when jungkook lets out a laugh and a nod 
his hand feels quite warm in yours and your eyes widen a little when you feel his thumb rub over your skin soothingly
“do your best!” miss im smiles, flicking the main lights off and turning the spotlight ones on as you guys get to the front, “y/n, what combination will you two be demonstrating for your peers?” 
ah, shit
“i….” you’ve never been good at thinking of things on the spot, and you can’t help but look over at jimin for a split second who seems to be shooting daggers right at jungkook as he stands leaning against the wall by the door, his arms crossed over his chest and his tongue poking against the inside of his cheek before he clears his throat quietly and rubs his lips together a couple of times 
his eyes are lidded slightly and to be honest, if looks could kill, jungkook would be bleeding out on the floor right about now and you can’t help but feel a little pleased at the obvious fact that jimin doesn’t like that you were paired up with jungkook and definitely doesn’t like the fact that miss im chose you and jungkook to demonstrate in front of the class 
“y/n?” jungkook elbows you slightly to get your attention and you clear your throat before standing up a little straighter, sorting through all the moves that you know and trying your best to come up with a quick routine on the spot
“oh! i, uh… okay, first, i’m gonna piqué attitude to the left, tombé… uh, double stepover, and then i’ll do… ah… i’ll do… échappé-echappe… passe-passe, i… suppose i’ll do a spin and then finish in arabesque?” you smile sheepishly, looking over at miss im and jimin for validation only to get a grunt from jimin and a pleased nod from miss im 
that seems like a doable combination, right?
god, you hope so 
lisa shoots you a thumbs up from the audience and you clear your throat quietly, taking a few steps back and waiting for your cue as miss im lowers the spotlights slightly 
the last thing you see before the lights dim is jimin’s furrowed brows and clenched jaw and you press your lips together in order to suppress a grin 
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
“wonderful job, you two. impeccable!” nayeon claps her hands gently along with the rest of the class, a proud smile on her face as she nudges jimin with her elbow, “see, what’d i tell you? the two of them fit together like two puzzle pieces, don’t you think?” 
“yep.” jimin licks over his front teeth in irritation when he notices the way jungkook’s hand lingers on the small of your back (a little too low for his liking, and if he was grading jungkook for an exam he’d immediately dock off a point for hand placement alone) as the two of you bow/curtsey at the front to thank your classmates for the applause and he feels his blood beginning to boil when he sees the shy little smile on your face and the blush spreading across your cheeks when jungkook whispers something in your ear 
what the fuck is he saying to you that’s making your cheeks red?? 
“you have something you want to share with the class, jungkook?” jimin blurts out right before he can even process that he’s blurted something out, his hand instinctively reaching over to smack the main lights back on 
the light switching back on so suddenly makes a few of you flinch and you reach up instinctively to shield your eyes, a little puzzled by what the problem is 
jimin is completely unbothered as he looks at jungkook and tilts his head, “well? if you can whisper it to y/n, you can share it with everyone.”
you and jungkook exchange glances of confusion 
“oh, i-“ jungkook stands up a little taller and jimin can’t help but feel drunk on power because of how intimidated he looks right now, “i just said that she did a really good job, mr. park, that’s all. a-and that she looks very pretty when she’s focused.” 
“interesting. well, i don’t think that’s a very appropriate comment to make to your peer,” jimin responds immediately, shaking his head before looking over at nayeon, “miss im, you need to control your hormonal students-“
“woah, my boys aren’t the hormonal ones here-“ nayeon scoffs, and jimin’s eyes widen in offence at the dig at you guys even though he technically made the first jab (and also, nayeon’s probably right about that because he’s seen the way you guys look at him and has also heard many of things said about him), “and it’s perfectly fine to compliment a peer! maybe keep the second half of your comment for after class, but don’t listen to grumpy mr. park, you two — again, great job, you can go back to your spots.” 
awkward, scattered applause makes its way around the room as you and jungkook return to your spots, and lisa gives you a look that says “what was that??? we’re definitely talking about this later” to which you respond with a quick shrug as you pass by her 
“okay…” miss im clears her throat quietly, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle before flipping to the next page on her clipboard, jimin following close behind her as the two of them head back to the front of the room, “let me see… jisoo, seokjin, can you guys come up next?” 
“i’m sorry if i- if i made you uncomfortable with my comment, y/n, i really didn’t mean to-“ jungkook whispers, and you shake your head quickly as you look up at him with a frown 
“no, not at all! it was very sweet of you-“ you reassure him, reaching down to give his hand a squeeze, “really, it was very kind of you to say. and you did a great job as well- sorry i almost stepped on your foot when i-”
“oh, that’s- no, it was really all you, i basically just followed you and made sure to spin you and stuff-“ 
“jungkook!” jimin’s voice is crisp and it makes you stand straight up as you turn your head to look back at the front, “talking again while your peers are getting ready to perform up front?” 
jungkook’s face turns bright red and he shakes his head quickly, “i- no, sir, i’m- i wasn’t-“ 
“i talked to him first, so if you’re going to bark at someone, you should do it at me-“ you raise your hand to get jimin to look over at you before giving him a casual shrug, “my bad.” 
“‘your bad’?” jimin repeats with air quotations, narrowing his eyes at you and almost daring you to continue speaking to him in such a casual tone when you know he’s made it very clear how important it is to speak to him formally when it’s class time, “well, is there something that you’d like to share with the class since it was so important you had to speak to jungkook about it right now?” 
“just that he did a fantastic job and he looked incredibly handsome doing it,” you chirp, maintaining a smile on your face, “i also said that we did completely amaze everyone with our routine because i guess we just fit together so, so well and- well, the second half of my comment, i’ll say to him when the two of us are outside of class, as miss im suggested.” 
your comment doesn’t get any snickers, which isn’t a surprise considering the fact that everyone is probably terrified of how angry jimin looks — but honestly, you have no idea why he seems to be picking on you and jungkook but you have a feeling it has something to do with the breakup 
and when you think about that, you can’t help but get more infuriated because can’t he see that he benefits from you breaking up with him?! now he’s free to date whoever he wants to date
like he said, he can be in a real relationship instead of whatever the fuck the two of you were in 
not to mention, you haven’t brought your personal feelings into the situation the same way he has (this is a lie, you are definitely acting on your emotions right now but the denial is slathered on thick today) so what makes him think that he has the right to treat you and jungkook like shit just because he’s all pissy?!?! 
“i’d like to pull y/n out to talk to her for a moment.” jimin immediately turns to look at naeyon with his hands behind his back, nayeon frowning as she looks back and forth between him and you, “now please, miss im. we won’t be long.” 
“well, can you wait until we’re done?” you pipe up, and that gets you a little stomp on the toes from seulgi because now you’re just doing too much but the rage that’s building inside of you from having jimin clearly picking on both you and jungkook is becoming unbearable, “i just think the respectable move is to wait until we’re done learning, mr. park. or would you like to continue wasting everyone’s time by singling out jungkook and i just because you’re clearly in a sour mood for no reason and seem to be enjoying using us as your emotional punching bags?” 
the silence is almost palpable, both you and jimin glaring at each other from across the room as everyone stands silently, awkwardly, because what the absolute fuck is going on right now? 
jimin’s eyes have gone completely dark and if it weren’t for the fact that he used to be your boyfriend, you would probably be terrified for basically cussing out your teacher in front of the whole class — but the scale feels balanced now because the current conversation taking place doesn’t seem at all like a mr. park vs miss. y/l/n interaction… this is a jimin vs y/n interaction. 
“leave this classroom right now.” jimin says through gritted teeth, his voice eerily low and quiet as he continues staring at you without a single blink, “right fucking now, y/n.” 
“no problem.” you snap, swiftly moving your way through the crowd and heading straight for the door, your fists clenched at your sides 
you let the door slam shut behind you, angry tears beginning to brim at the edges of your eyes as you storm down the hallway towards the changing rooms so you can get your bags and go home
you shouldn’t have come to class today — you knew that seeing jimin would be too much for you and now look at where it’s gotten you! 
openly disrespecting jimin not just in front of the girls but also in front of miss im’s boys, which probably mortified jimin because he prides himself on how well-behaved you guys are whenever you’re paired up with students from another class… you have a feeling this isn’t going to end well at all. 
the thought of being grilled not just by jimin but also the dean of the school sends a lightning bolt of anxiety right into you and your brain immediately begins to conjure up an email of what you’re going to say in your apology letter because that’s the type of student you are, not whoever you were just a second ago 
you just couldn’t help yourself!! you’re running on an inconsistent sleep schedule and you haven’t been eating right and you’ve barely been drinking water and you’re sad about the breakup and mad at the circumstances and also feeling a little bit like maybe you acted too hastily in the first place and should’ve communicated with jimin about how you were feeling and what you were insecure about instead of diving head first into the whole crazy jealous girlfriend act and driving him away 
and now it seems to be your ego and your pride standing in the way of making you turn around and just talk to jimin because walking away and accepting that this is just the way things are is the much easier option 
“so stupid,” you sniffle, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear as your bottom lip starts to tremble 
you’ve ruined everything 
“hey, i didn’t say you could leave-“ you glance over your shoulder when you hear jimin’s voice as you continue making your way down the stairs, but you pick up your pace when you see him starting to follow you, “y/n, i swear to god-“ 
“i’m going home, i’m clearly not in the right state of mind to be here right now, mr. park-“
“oh, don’t give me that bullshit, y/n-“ jimin snaps, “i think you and i both know we’ve been avoiding each other but we need to talk because your behaviour today isn’t coming out of nowhere-“ 
“i’m sorry for talking back to you in class, but you were clearly picking on jungkook and i and i was so fucking over it-“ you swing the main door open, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum when you come to a sudden stop after seeing how heavy the rainfall is 
you contemplate staying and waiting until the rain calms down a little but the thought of having to stay and talk to jimin is just a little too much for you at the moment 
“it’s raining out and you don’t have an umbrella, you big baby-“ jimin changes the subject when thunder suddenly rumbles from outside, stopping at the top of the stairs to look at you, “what are you gonna do, walk in the rain?!” 
“if that’s what i wanted to do, then i have every right to do so!” 
you came here by bus and you know it doesn’t come for another twenty minutes, meaning that not only are you going to have to walk in the rain to the bus stop, you’ll also have to wait in the rain until it comes and that’s just a recipe for the nastiest cold in the entire world
and the thought of having to nurse a horrible cold and nurse your poor heart sounds like a nightmare 
“y/n, i know you’re upset but you’re being irrational-”
“so what if i wanna walk in the rain?!” the emotional side of your brain takes over as you glare up at jimin before storming towards the doors, “i’m an adult, i can make my own decisions-“ 
“i know you are, and i know you can, but, y/n, please-“ jimin grabs the back of your arm right as you get to the bottom of the stairs and you immediately fling his arm away, “just talk to me, please-“
“about what?!” you adjust the strap of your duffle bag over your shoulder, “we broke up, it’s for the better, you’re my teacher and i’m your student and we never should’ve started dating in the first place because it never would’ve worked out anyway and-“ before you know it, everything is coming out of you and you can’t find a way to stop or control the words coming out of your mouth, “and i think maybe i shouldn’t come to class for a few weeks because it’s going to be weird and i can’t- i can��t be in the same room as you, jimin, it’s killing me-“ 
“it’s killing me, too-“ jimin admits softly, brown eyes glistening slightly underneath the lights, “i just- i can’t stop thinking about you, and i- baby, i- i miss you so much, you have no idea-“ your eyes immediately well with tears and you shake your head quickly as you take a few steps back, pushing the door open and stumbling out while unable to tear your gaze away from jimin’s, “please, we can figure something out, i know we can. i know i want to be with you, y/n, i don’t want anyone else, i just want you-“ his voice tremors slightly and he reaches out for you, “and i didn’t mean it when i called our relationship nothing, i was just hurt and- and angry and- i don’t even know why we broke up-“ 
“you should be with nayeon, she’s better for you and-“ you lower your voice slightly, “i know you went out with her over the weekend, so-“
“went out with her??” jimin gawks, almost letting out a laugh of disbelief, “we met up for coffee to talk about the lesson plan for today- don’t think i didn’t hear what everyone was muttering about before class, you guys need to cut the gossiping and- oh my god, y/n, is that what this is about?? you think i want to be with nayeon? we broke up for a reason, you- this is so incredibly frustrating, y/n, why can’t you just believe me when i say that i want to be with you?!” 
everything that’s coming out of jimin’s mouth makes you feel ten times worse knowing that the two of you can’t be together 
“this is why we need to sit down and talk about things, be honest and give each other our side of the story, because clearly something’s been miscommunicated and-“
“it doesn’t matter, jimin, at the end of the day, even if we talk about what happened we still can’t be together-“
“we can, we just- we can figure something out-“ the overwhelming reminder that you’ll have to tell the dean and all your classmates and face judgement and be gossiped about on top of the already overwhelming emotion of seeing and talking to jimin is just too much for you to bear, and you find your heart skipping more than a few beats out of anxiety because the only thing on your mind right now is to run away and hide from all of this 
“i can’t be here, i have to go home, i can’t be here right now-“ you whimper, turning around to head into the rain, “you just- we can’t be together, jimin-“ 
“y/n-!” the last thing you hear before you sprint out into the dark, misty rain is the sound of jimin crying out for you and you can’t help but burst into tears, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs
run away run away run away run away 
water splashes up and around you at every step you take, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you keep running down the sidewalk with your duffle bag flopping behind you wildly 
this is too much
everything is just too much 
you just need to go home and then everything will be fine 
it doesn’t matter that jimin wants to work on things with you (it does, because you do, too), it doesn’t matter that he wants to find a way to make things work (it does, because you do, too), it doesn’t matter that he’s clearly stated that he wants to be with you and not nayeon (it does, because it reassures you and now you really know that jimin just wants you and you know that you just want him too) because all that matters is that everything is too much to handle and you feel like your head is about to explode 
“so what am i supposed to do then?!” the sound of jimin’s voice down the street immediately makes you stop and turn around, and you’re glad that it’s raining like this to mask the tears streaming down your face
you aren’t surprised that he’s caught up to you, and you stand still as you look at him standing across from you, all the way at the end of the block, “what the FUCK am i supposed to do, y/n, huh?!” he yells, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pounding against his chest a few times, “you want me to stand here and act like i don’t love you?! like we never happened?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!” 
“i…”
“tell me that’s what you want and i’ll leave it alone, y/n. all you have to do is tell me that this is what you want.” your feet are stuck in place as jimin jogs right over to you and you resist the very strong urge to look away from him again but he just looks so sad and you hate yourself for doing this to him
“it was wrong of me to pressure you to tell your friends about us the way that i did, i know that.” jimin nods, slicking his hair back with a hand, “i fucked up, and i’m sorry for doing that. but i meant it when i said i wanted to be in a proper relationship, y/n, because i want to be able to hold your hand in public, i wanna take you out for dinners without constantly feeling like we’re going to get caught, i- i want to show you off! i wanna show you off because i… i love you, y/n…” 
jimin shakes his head in disappointment when your only response is to stand there, staring at him with wide, trembling eyes 
he waits one, two, three seconds for you to say something, to say literally anything and he hates that you still have nothing to say to him 
even if you said you didn’t want to be with him, that would be a better response than you just standing there staring at him 
forget it 
obviously you’ve made your answer clear, and now he knows that he was 100% more invested in you than you were in him 
if you want him to pretend like he doesn’t care about you and that you’re just another one of his students, he’s perfectly capable of doing that 
he was a little out of control today, but he’ll be able to manage it in future classes
the thought of transferring you to another teacher’s class briefly flits through his mind but he’s reminded by the fact that he’d have to talk to the dean about that and then the dean would have to ask why jimin wants to transfer you and that’d just be a whole thing 
plus, the semester’s nearly over so pretty soon jimin won’t have to be forced to be in the same room with the woman he loves but he can’t say he loves 
it’s going to fine
everything is going to be fine 
he’s been broken up with before, and he’s picked himself up and has moved on 
he can do this 
“fine, y/n.” he scoffs to himself, turning on his heel to head back towards the building, “if that’s what you want, i can’t change your mind. i’m sorry. i won’t push it any further.” 
“i was gonna talk to the dean!”
jimin stops in his tracks when you finally speak up, and he turns to look over his shoulder to see that you’ve taken one step forward but hesitating to come any closer to him like a scared baby deer 
he doesn’t move, afraid that if he moves too quickly he might scare you off and stop you from what you’re about to say 
“what?” he asks quietly, turning around to face you and relieved to see that you don’t seem like you’re about to take off again 
“i was- i was gonna talk to the dean.” you repeat quietly before averting your gaze, “i’d made an appointment and everything, i was gonna talk to the dean about us because i- i love you… too.” you blurt out, looking back up at him, “i love you too, but i’m… scared.” 
“scared of someone finding out?” 
“well, that’s a pretty big chunk of it because i could get expelled and you could get fired, but i’m also scared because… the last time i felt this way about someone, they left me for their ex six months after we said i love you to each other.” you swallow thickly, feeling slightly ashamed and embarrassed to admit that about yourself since it’s not something you like to bring up, “i… if there is even a 1% chance of you and nayeon getting back together, i don’t want any part of it. and i know that’s unfair of me to say because life happens and i get it but-” you whimper, feeling your heart splinter at the reminder of how broken up you were over your previous relationship, “as much as i love you and i want to work on things with you, i don’t wanna be hurt again-“ 
“you won’t be, y/n-“
“you don’t know that-“
“but i do!” jimin drops to his knees, looking up at you from the ground as he keeps his hands firm on the sides of your thighs, “baby, i do know that- i don’t know what crazy rumour you guys cooked up but i’m not secretly in love with nayeon- i wanna be with you, please, please just give us a chance to make it work-“
“i’m still your student, jimin…” you sniffle, reaching up to wipe at your red eyes, “all of this doesn’t change the fact that you are my teacher and i am your student, and the both of us never should’ve started doing this in the first place-“ 
“i’ll talk to the dean about getting you transferred to another class, or- or i can transfer to another class- i will make it work, y/n, we can make this work.” 
you chew on the inside of your cheek anxiously as you look down at jimin, jimin who you’re hopelessly in love with, jimin who you love waking up next to and falling asleep beside, jimin who wakes you up with kisses on the face and a mug of tea (you hate tea, you just drink it because it’s him), jimin who you know you want to be with because it’s been so long since you’ve felt so strongly and so surely about someone and… well, it’s jimin. 
“okay.” you nod slowly, reaching down to cup his cheek gently before swiping your thumb against his skin, “okay, we can make it work. i wanna make this work, but i think the first thing we have to do is talk to the dean because i don’t know how much longer i can hide it from everyone-!” you don’t get much of a chance to say anything else before jimin’s shooting up from the ground, pulling you in for a kiss as your duffle bag drops to the ground 
“oh my god, i missed you so much, you have no idea how much-“ jimin murmurs against your lips, his arm looping around your waist to pull you in closer, while your arms sling around his neck and your fingers curl into the hair at the back of his head 
“i missed you too-“ you laugh lightly, heart thrumming happily in your chest as you find yourself pressing closer into jimin’s familiar warmth, “we can make this work.” 
»»————- 🥀 ————-««
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namfinessed · 5 months
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i have died - p.jm.
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genre: angst, mild fluff (7.1k) royal au! (mentions of blood, fighting and all information might not be accurate to history.)
summary: jimin knows his queen has a heart, he's known it since he set eyes on her, even if rumours whispered that she was cold, calculated, merciless, jimin held on, his queen had a heart.
masterlist
-
to be a queen, was to be powerful, they said.
it was to be graceful yet stern, commanding but caring, soft but strong, beautiful but not so much, that it took away from your strength.
to be a queen, was to be miserable, you said.
you sat on your throne, with the burden of the world on your shoulders and not a touch from someone else to cure it or take it away. your arms stayed firmly on your lap as you tried to concentrate on your advisor’s words.
“war is upon us, your majesty, everyone’s saying it.” he gestured to the court filled with old men, greedy old men who were waiting for you to slip up.
“on what basis, did you make this conclusion?” you tried to stay calm, even if a shiver went down your spine and your hands started sweating.
you knew war was going to descend on your kingdom any day now, your parents warned out about it when you were still a kid, you had been preparing for this your whole life, but it didn’t stop the nightmares, chills, or fear. war would devastate your kingdom, it would run your people and resources dry and as the queen, you were expected to stop this devastation.
“do you not see what is happening in your kingdom, your majesty?” one of the old men sneered at you as their hands tweaked their mustaches and your patience almost gave out.
beside you, your general, park jimin, tightened his hand on his sword, ready to slay the man on your command. you lift a hand in his direction, showing a sliver of your patience, and he brings his hand back down.
“i do know about the riots and the grains,” you started, leaning forward, “i also know about the affairs.” you stared pointedly at the old man, whose eyebrow started sweating as you stood up.
“be careful with how you speak to me, or i will not hesitate to tie you up and throw you in the middle of a bloody riot.” you stormed out of the room with park jimin hot on your tail, concealing his smile and an audible hush resounded around you as you walked out to the barren land.
you weren’t known as the heartless queen for no reason, you were merciless, with whomever you deemed deserved to be treated that way and you knew it wasn’t fair, but as a queen, you could care less about being fair.
“should i ready the swords, your majesty?” jimin spoke and you nodded, turning and disappearing into a room to change. you hastily undid the layers of clothing you wore, feeling more and more air enter your chest as you stood naked in front of the long mirror covering the wall.
scars from many wars ago littered your chest, thighs, and arms, you wanted to pile on all the layers of your clothing back on your beaten body.
you pushed the layers away instead, a queen shouldn’t worry about battle scars, she should celebrate them. you got your armor and boots on, feeling better when everything was covered, and stepped out.
but a sight made you stop in your tracks.
across the practice field, were two lovers, oblivious to the world, hiding away from the world under a sheer curtain, the women were holding back their smiles as they stroked each other’s cheeks, leaning into each other but leaning away, as if a magnetic pushed them close and far. one of them reached out and kissed the other’s cheek, your hand instinctively reached to your cheek, unconsciously patting the area.
never a kiss.
never has a kiss ever touched your skin.
never has a touch from someone you loved, left a ghost on your skin, like your scars did.
across the practice field, jimin’s worried eyes saw your hands stroking your cheeks, his gaze followed your line of sight to see the poorly concealed lovers, his heart twisted as he watched you push your hands away and a grimace fell on your face. jimin had never seen a smile on his queen’s face but with the role you had, he knew you didn’t have much to smile about.
“your majesty, they are ready!” he yelled, capturing your attention, away from the lovers who brought tears to your eyes. your eyes snapped to his and the vulnerability disappeared, a hardness settled in them again and jimin wished that he let you stay lost in your vulnerability for a little more.
you grabbed your sword and protective gear, struggling to put on the headpiece as you always did, jimin stepped up and snapped it into place, it was the only thing you let him do for you.
and jimin looked forward to it every day.
you fell into a rhythm, jimin was a formidable opponent, never letting you be distracted for too long, which was relieving. the sounds of swords clanging, boots kicking the sand up, and heavy breathing drowned out everything else for you.
your eyes stayed laser-focused on jimin’s movements, they were natural, clean, and sharp, and so were his father’s.
you had known jimin your whole life when he was still just a kid and learning from his father, who was your father’s general, when he followed his mom around, who followed your mum around.
his parents weren’t alive now, nor were yours.
someday, you were ten years old, your parents had left for another town and never returned, and you had to be a queen while still not understanding what death was and why it had taken your parents, jimin’s parents protected you until an unknown disease took the two of them as well.
jimin’s sword hit yours, bringing you back to the present, where you had no one to love nor protect but jimin did, jimin always knew he would protect you.
you swung back, twisting your leg to bend and hit the armor covering his stomach, he recoiled at the contact and you smirked underneath your headgear. this continued, you played the dance of defense and offense, and soon, you ripped the headpiece to force some air into your body.
“i’ll be going now.” you walked out, without looking back and jimin nodded, dropping his sword, wordlessly watching you leave.
somewhere, between being a queen while still being a child and losing everyone you loved, you had forgotten to care for another person, and between protecting you since he was a teenager and losing everyone he loved, jimin had only grown more determined to care with all the heart in him.
that was the difference between you and jimin, you lost your heart and he gained a second one. and naturally, you two never spoke anymore but jimin had always wanted to tell you about his second heart, that it beat for you, even if it meant that his head would be at the end of your sword.
-
the talk of war kept spreading throughout the kingdom and your palace became louder, so did your heartbeat in your ears, so did your sword hitting jimin’s, and so did your internal cries for help.
you marked the map as you circled it, checking entries, exits, and secret pathways that could leave you vulnerable to the enemies.
“seal the exits, don’t allow goods transport till the next week, we will put up announcements when it can be resumed, station two guards at every secret route and give them our best guns, station one guard at each entry and exit, make sure meals reach them from time-to-time and distribute palace supplies to the people, without good transport, they won’t be making money” commands flowed easily out of you, you took every advisor’s bullshit advice and decided to ignore it at all, you came up with the most efficient plan you could.
“should we seal them tonight, your majesty?” jimin stepped forward and you nodded, “tonight would be best, we have to protect ourselves before we regret it. and later, i need to discuss battle strategies with you, keep that in mind.” jimin bowed to you and stepped back as the advisors argued with you.
he watched with a smirk as you calmly explained how miserable their plans were, he watched as you put all of them in their places and left the room, leaving the air of your power lingering in the room.
“she’s just as arrogant as her father” the same old man who had questioned your knowledge of the kingdom in the court, turns his nose up with a nasty sneer on his face. jimin feels his skin start to burn in anger when he hears the noises of agreement from the others.
“she’s even worse, at least her father was a capable ruler, she’s just arrogant and nothing else,” another one adds with a smirk, and everyone laughs at the comment, jimin wonders how you hold onto your patience with these men.
“she’s not even beautiful enough to be arrogant, did you see the scars covering her arms? no wonder she isn’t married” they continued to add snide comments, sipping their drinks and doing everything but be the advisors they are.
a slam on the wooden table startles them all, liquid jumping out of their cups and onto the floors, they all turn to see jimin’s eyes burning holes into them as his hands twitch on the table.
“one more word about our queen and i will personally wield the sword that chops your necks off.” jimin says calmly, though his fury is poorly contained. the advisors quirked an eyebrow at him, “who do you think you are? you are a general, not the queen’s lapdog, behave.”
another one piped up to reprimand him, “you are no one to lay a hand on any of us, learn your place, or we will make you.”
a dark chuckle bubbled out of jimin as he quickly realized if given the chance, he would take the lives of everyone in this room in a heartbeat, “my place is to serve her, so if i ever lay a hand on you, it wouldn’t be for me, it would be for my queen.”
the advisors grew wide-eyed at the storm-like fury that brewed in jimin’s eyes as he stared at them, jimin was known to be kind, friendly, and sweet around the court, but seeing him this way, had them all clearing their throats and looking away as a sheen of fear covered their faces, their eyes flickered from jimin to the sword that rested on his hips.
it would only take him a minute to kill them all and that knowledge had all of them gulping for air.
outside the room, you held your hand to your chest as a long breath released out of you, you never left since you heard the first comment from your advisors and even if it wasn’t supposed to hurt you, it did.
and you knew jimin didn’t have to say anything, you knew he could’ve just left the room, this was the first time anyone had ever stood beside you and not against you.
jimin opened the doors to see you beside them, eyes gazing up at him with concealed fondness, your face stayed cold and distant but jimin noticed the tiniest curve of your lips.
he remembers how you used to smile as a kid, wide and with teeth, dimples curved in as you ran around the palace, having your maids chase you around, he remembers the first time you had talked to him.
“get the swords ready, general.” you rush out of the area, leaving jimin a little startled but without another word, he follows you.
-
the sounds of your swords clanging brought you peace, as your chest slowly started to loosen up, though you had to admit that your focus wasn’t great, your eyes kept flickering to catch glimpses of jimin, hidden under his protective gear and your mouth kept opening to say something.
“you didn’t have to stand up to them, park jimin” you muttered, just loud enough for jimin to hear and his movements paused.
so, you had heard.
he was wishing that you hadn’t.
“i know, your majesty.” his arms lifted his sword again, but dropped it as soon as your sword hit the ground.
“then, why would you do it?” you hated the tremor in your voice, it was so unlike you, so unlike a queen.
“i don’t know, but i can’t think of anything else i would’ve done at the moment,” he removed his headpiece to see you, to see what you felt about his words.
you nodded with uncertainty, you expected him to say that as your general, it was his duty to defend you, you hadn’t expected anything more than that.
“i appreciate it,” you said breathily and jimin nodded back, his cheeks attaining a flush from both the cold wind gushing around you and also from your words.
i would do it again, by the way, even if my life is on the line.
he felt the urge to tell you as you turned away but then his eyes caught the royal emblem etched on your armor and he swallowed his words.
“i wasn’t always like this, general, i think you know that.” tears, that you couldn’t stop, lined your eyes as you thought back to the child that you were and the world that you had to grow up in, and jimin felt his chest fill with sorrow because he knew so well, knew more than you thought he did. “i know, your majesty, i know.”
you straightened your shoulders, any trace of vulnerability escaping your body as your advisors passed the field, all of their eyes analyzing and judging you.
“we still have to discuss those strategies, come.”
-
the rest of the night, you went over your defenses again and again, eyes catching fleetingly, accidentally, and then returning to the table with flushed cheeks, jimin was delighted to be so close, yet so far, from you.
and each time, your eyes met, you felt your heart beating again, you felt yourself wanting to say things that had nothing to do with the maps spread out in front of you.
“we knew each other before all this, didn’t we, park jimin?” before you became a queen, before you owned a kingdom, jimin was present in your distant memory, “you gave me flowers.” he smiled at you, images of your younger self flashing brightly in his mind.
“no! that can’t be true, general” a smile of disbelief curved on your face, you never looked at flowers, you couldn’t imagine any part of you that would gift someone flowers.
“oh, but you did, your majesty” jimin cheekily replied, making you shake your head and look away from him, trying to remember a time when you weren’t a queen.
but jimin remembers too clearly, how you had met, how your hands touched him for the first time, when it was all innocence and warmth.
it had been a hot, summer day.
jimin’s mother was busier than usual. it was the princess’s birthday and the entire palace was geared up to celebrate it grandly.
but jimin wasn’t happy at all. his eyes were hurting from the tears he had cried, his cheeks were firing up with heat as his body burned.
he was sicker than he had ever been and his mother couldn’t take care of him, her own eyes were filled with tears that she couldn’t take care of her child but she had duties to fulfill.
jimin sat in the garden, sniffling and pulling grass, refusing to listen to his mother’s request to stay inside as his cheeks puffed up with defiance.
then, he heard soft giggles falling from the corridors into the lonely garden.
he turned to see the princess, her hand in the queen’s, her other hand gripping tightly onto freshly picked jasmines, as she walked merrily, it was her birthday after all. and even as a kid, jimin couldn’t look away from the princess.
she was a joy to see, a joy to hear.
when the princess turned to look at him, to look at sad, pouty jimin, sitting by himself, picking the grass with tear-stained cheeks, jimin wouldn’t have guessed that she would run over to him. he wouldn’t have guessed that she would take the jasmines in her hand and place them above his ears.
“flowers are happy, you should be happy.” you had told him, with a dimpled smile, staring at him for a few seconds before running back to your mother, but he watched as you looked back at him till you left the corridor.
jimin felt the traces of love bloom in his heart for the first time.
now, he sees you, so tough and powerful and as his queen, but he remembers too well how you used to be and jimin fell for you then, unfortunately for him, he hadn’t gotten back up.
at some point in the night, the sleeves on your dress ride up and your eyes widen as you push them back down, you hurriedly look up to see if jimin has seen anything, you wait to see if his face twisted in disgust, but jimin only smiles, “you are so strong, your majesty. i wish i was more like you.”
he doesn’t speak about your tears.
or your scars.
or the fear on your face.
you know that he notices it all, but he doesn’t say a word.
you didn’t know that even if you weren’t the queen of the kingdom, you would still be jimin’s queen, hot or cold, kind or ruthless, heart or heartless, nothing could change that.
and jimin might have felt it when he was still a kid, but this was the first time, that something bloomed in your heart, you weren’t sure it was love, you were just sure that it was because of him.
-
weeks later, your kingdom was sealed, business halted and time as it was, didn’t move as you and your people prepared for the war.
tensions were high, and the kingdom got quieter as everyone waited for any news about their fate, you spent every minute with jimin, formulating and discussing plans that could bring you even a sliver of hope, and every minute, your heart unwillingly grew sprouts and flowers.
“hand over the kingdom to us and there will be no blood staining your land or else, your entire kingdom will drown.” your minister read the last sentence of the letter that was sent over to you that morning and you tried to resist the chill crawling on your back.
but you knew who it was from, a much more prosperous kingdom, a much more powerful kingdom with a king, not a queen, not like your weak kingdom.
you were powerful and you have won many wars but your opponent has colonized several countries at a time so realistically, your chances of surviving his quest were slim to none.
jimin eyed your tightening fists with a glint of worry and concern as your minister hung his head, solemn from the words he just read, “what do we say, your majesty?”
you knew the gravity of your decision here, you could either abandon your land and people, hand them over to a stranger, and not look back, because you knew even if you fought back, you would be weaker, you would lose.
but you also couldn’t turn your back on your people, your father and mother wouldn’t have done that, they wouldn’t have handed your people over, and they would have fought with everything they had.
sometimes, you just wish they would be beside you, gently guiding and firmly telling you what to do. sometimes, you wanted to crawl on your mother’s lap and cry until you couldn’t, sometimes, you just wanted your father’s hand on your head, telling you to be brave.
but your wishes remained wishes, hard decisions had to be solely made by you, whether you liked it or not.
“tell them, they will be the ones drowning, not us.” you feigned the confidence you knew your court needed, and seeing everyone’s face light up as their loud cheers echoed in your court, made it easy for you to say it, even if you knew it wasn’t true.
you would drown.
and never float back up.
all because you couldn’t be the queen your people needed.
you told yourself, that it was justified to give false hope to people whose hope was weathering, it was justified to lie to your court while knowing it would be gone in flames later, it was justified to fake your power for the flicker of relief that passed over their faces.
but jimin’s eyes stayed on your knuckles that turned white, your eyes that seemed dazed and he knew you were lying, his hand rested on his sword as he realized that the cheering people, were all waiting for their deaths.
-
“your majesty, a moment of your time.” jimin stayed outside the door until he heard your voice, allowing him in. you were sitting at the edge of your cot, chest heavy and breathing caught in your body.
“forgive me, your majesty, but you and i both know that you were lying.” he spoke, with confusion lacing his voice, you were always honest, you never lied for the sake of making someone feel better. “about what, general?” he didn’t recognize the strange, lifeless tone your voice had taken.
“that we are going to survive the quest.” jimin knew as much as you did, that your kingdom would be run to the ground, even if he thought you were the strongest of them all, he knew your kingdom would fall.
“we are going to survive it,” you lied through your teeth.
“we’re all going to die” jimin didn’t know why he was arguing with you, but he couldn’t help it, this was the first time his queen had lied and he needed to know why.
“oh general, i have died a long time ago” you laughed bitterly, your stomach twisting at your words, you felt sick, trapped in yourself, trapped in this palace that gave you all of the power but none of the relief that came with love. his gaze softened as, for the first time, tears flowed down your face like a river, as sobs escaped your chest without restraint, as you sunk to the floor with your hands tightly wrung the bedding.
you had died the day your parents didn’t come back, you had died when they placed a heavy crown on your tiny head as a kid, you had died when the sprinkle of someone else’s blood fell on your face, you had died when the people you fought for called you heartless.
you had died more times than you could count, one more time, even if it was for real this time, didn’t shake you at all.
it was dying without a touch of love decorating your skin, that truly scared you. you wished for a touch that wouldn’t unravel you but would hold you together, the way even a riptide, as dangerous as it is, longs for a shore to embrace, you want just a touch.
jimin should leave, his duty wasn’t this, his duty wasn’t to console a broken queen but jimin never stayed by your side as a duty, he stayed because it was where he belonged.
jimin sunk to his knees, his hands trembling to touch you, to let you lay on him and let years of your tears run down his chest, but he doesn’t want to be at the end of your sword, he wants to be at the end of your bed, watching you while you sleep and protecting you from the nightmares that plague you.
and then you surprise him.
jimin’s breath halts as he watches you reach for him, one frail hand in the air that beckons him closer and he follows wordlessly, sitting beside you and watching as your head finds his lap. you melt into his lap, fingers falling away from your body to hug his legs, a soft hum leaves your lips and jimin’s urge to protect you increases exponentially.
it's been a while since he has seen his queen be herself, and he knows as you grasp onto him for affection, that this was you finally giving up on maintaining an image, at least in front of him.
he slowly places a hand on your back, unsure if he was allowed to touch you the way you touched him, but you only bury your tear-stained cheeks into his legs and jimin relaxes, letting his hands travel on your back, his hands burned with love as he rubbed circles on your skin that coaxed more cries out of you, but this time, they weren’t out of pain, they were out of the relief of finally being touched with love.
“jimin,” you called out, so softly even if your voice dried out from the tears, so intimately that jimin wanted to curl up to you and forget everything else, “yes?”
no general.
no park jimin.
just jimin.
“i didn’t lie because i wanted to, the kingdom will die long before the war gets here, if i don’t lie, they need to hold onto something as we go into the war, they need to believe that they can survive to even fight.” and jimin sees it, the heart that your people denied that you had, you had thought of them before anything else and he smiles to the ceiling.
“after everything goes, you will be remembered as the greatest ruler our kingdom has ever seen,” he speaks sincerely, as his hands caress the lengths of your hair, which lulls you, your heart warms but you know it wasn’t true, “no one would remember me.”
“i would, in death and life, i will.”
you hadn’t expected to be satisfied with his answer but somehow, that was more than enough of you.
you always wished for a touch to make you feel loved, to make you feel anything but jimin’s words alone held you together and for the first time, you bore a heart that was heavier than you were, a heart that dragged you down, pulled you down and forced you to accept its size.
and you loved the enormity of affection you felt, especially that it was for the man who held you so gently even if he had seen you at your strongest.
“your majesty, i have a confession.”
“i think i know what you are going to say,” you might not have cared for other people, but you did notice things, you noticed the lingering looks jimin would give you, the smile that would grow on his face whenever you put your advisors in their place, the way his tone changed to something softer only when he talked to you, you had noticed it all.
you felt the same, maybe not as long as he had, but melted against him, you knew you wouldn’t feel this way for anyone else, except the person who stood by and protected you for so long.
“but if you allow me, i still want to say it.” you peered up from his lap with an amused smile, your general was more romantic than you had thought him to be, and jimin hadn’t thought your smile could be any more beautiful than it was in his dreams, but it was.
“you are allowed,” you face him, cheeks flushing and hands trapping his, “i love you, i’ve loved you since i knew what love was.”
you were only just learning love, as your skin touched his, as you sunk further into him, as you felt cocooned by his presence, as you felt his unwavering love for you through his touch but even if it was just now, you knew you felt the same.
but you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, as a queen, were you allowed to profess love for someone else? with a war approaching, did you deserve to love as your kingdom ran to devastation?
you couldn’t say it, you couldn’t allow yourself the luxury.
you just nudged further into jimin’s body, squeezing his hand as a silent way of professing, ‘i feel the same, in my heart that’s beating after a long time, i feel what you do and i will tell you, i will tell you soon.’
jimin sighs in relief, his skin growing warm as your hands desperately try to tell him what your mouth can’t and he allows his body to drape over you, hands caressing your dress and brushing your hair away from your cheeks.
“i understand, my queen, i will wait.”
-
that night, everything changed for you, you had felt so defeated before the war even started but here you were, days later, hitting swords with jimin once again, a new kind of determination drummed in your attacks, you had to win the war, you had to be with jimin.
“your majesty, i’m afraid you are getting distracted,” jimin teases you as his sword nears your throat, with an amused scoff, you pull back to drag your sword on the ground and drive it up to the back of his head, “apparently, not as much as you, general.”
you both spent every quiet night together, in each other’s arms, in each other’s words and he professed his love to you every single day, even if you didn’t say it back, and he reminded you that your heart hadn’t died, it had just hidden away, but he certainly had wedged himself into it and it seemed to you that he would never leave.
jimin raises his sword in surrender, a chuckle leaving his lips once he sees you grin widely at his defeat.
“you are enjoying this too much,” he tuts at you, “i’m still your queen, jimin” you playfully scold him and he rolls his eyes at you, “and i’m still your general, your majesty.” he tips his invisible hat with a shit-eating grin and leaves you, flustered in the middle of the ground as he walks away to greet some new members of the army.
what was this feeling that consumed you, as your eyes refused to look away from his retracting figure?
a fluttering sense of calm danced around you, your usually restless heart had taken a steady, loud rhythm and you loved the world right now.
you felt as if everything was alright, as if the skies were always blue, as if the flowers always bloomed, as if you could fight a war and win it, just to keep this moment alive.
“your majesty!” a shrill voice broke your dreamy thoughts, and your head snapped to see your minister rushing down the hallway to reach you. you hold your arms over his shoulders to steady him as he breathes heavily.
“careful, minister.” he shook his head at your words, eyes pinching shut as he panted.
“they’ve gotten in, your majesty.”
and just like that, the feeling of victory faded from you.
“what are you talking about?” you couldn’t recognize how tight your voice sounded, how your hands twitched involuntarily to your sword, and how the air in your chest knocked out of you.
not now.
not so soon.
“we sealed every exit, minister, that is not possible” you desperately tried to dissuade what he was trying to tell you, he solemnly shook his head, “one of our own turned on us, they gave them entry into our kingdom, and several civilians were beheaded just a few minutes.”
your blood boiled.
for a minute, your eyes saw complete red as your hands shook beside your body, “how many, minister?” your voice didn’t contain your fury, nor your heartbreak.
“hundred and twelve, as of now, your majesty.”
in that minute, you knew you could slay an entire kingdom if you wanted to, you knew that if you were let loose, not a single soldier would be able to keep up with you. your people were supposed to be the last ones to get hurt, you were supposed to be protecting them and you failed.
“i’m assuming, the traitor has been caught?”
“yes, your majesty.” your minister’s eyes widened in fear as you pulled your sword out, “show him to me.”
-
that night, you scrubbed someone else’s blood off your face, and frustrated tears lined your eyes but the red never seemed to disappear, as you kept washing, more and more took its place, and soon, you gave up on getting it off, you had to accept that a part of you will always be stained with their blood.
the blood served as a reminder of the people you couldn’t save.
you had spent the evening, preparing for the war that would start tomorrow, it was finally declared by your opponent in another mocking letter, and providing aid to the families who lost their loved ones, each of their cries rang loudly in your ears even if hours passed.
water droplets dripped down your face as you sat once again, defeated before the war began, at the edge of your bed, but this time, a knock at your door filled you with relief.
jimin came in, exhausted as well, but his eyes zeroed on the red covering your arms and face, without a word, he took a washcloth, dipped it in water, and sat beside you.
his fingers nudged your hair away from your face and slowly, patiently, patted the blood away, shushing you as you broke down in tears in the middle.
that night ended in jimin’s arms, with a clean face and a lighter heart.
both of you didn’t know what would happen the next day, you just knew that you had to survive for each other.
-
“line up!” jimin’s yell filled the courtyard and all the soldiers jogged across it to surround him, “you all are aware, going in today, of the severity of the situation and what it could lead to, but i trust that my soldiers will still give their best, we all have homes to return to, keep that in mind. let it serve as a motivation for you to win this, help your fellow soldiers, and keep your focus.”
all of them were nervous, all of them had left home saying their final goodbyes to their families in case they never returned, but all of them also believed in their general and his words, rapid nods came as a response from them and they started preparing themselves mentally.
jimin gestured for them to move along and they all started embracing each other, comforting words poured into the space and they soon moved away to disperse.
in your changing room, your hands slid down the scars that covered you, after today, you were sure there were going to be even more, but somehow, you didn’t mind it as much. your maids placed the armor on you, tightening it around your body and you bit back a groan.
you didn’t know how many more of these wars you could fight.
suddenly, they all shuffled away, leaving the room, causing you to turn around, confused at their actions, only to see jimin entering the room.
“i don’t know why they ran away,” he said with comically raised eyebrows and you bit back a grin, “i’m sure they must have seen you leave my quarters in the morning.” his head fell back with a laugh as he stepped closer to you.
“that can’t be, i’m so discreet, like a ninja, you know?” you rolled your eyes at him, “you broke three vases just two days ago, jimin.” he kissed your temple as another laugh bubbled out of him, “maybe i’ll learn along the way.”
“maybe you will.”
you sighed as both of your smiles slipped, there was no telling if there was a way anymore but believing that there was, it was all you could do.
“how are the soldiers?” your eyes bore into his similar, armor-clad body that came up behind you in the mirror.
“just right, your majesty, don’t worry.” his arms came up to wrap around your body and your hands rested on his arms, a shuddering breath left your mouth as the gravity of today settled in even more.
maybe there won’t be a way, maybe you will never get to hold jimin like this again.
“before we go jimin, i want to tell you, like all of them, you have me, a home and i need you to come back for me,” that was the closest you could get to professing your love, your words were pleading, begging, even if your face was passive. jimin shakes his head, his hair rubbed onto your neck as he exhaled, “we both need to come back, i’m not letting this end here.”
after minutes passed of just being enveloped in each other’s warmth, you wished you could just ignore the war and stay in this room forever, with jimin, you wished you could ignore the possibility of losing him but the loud roars of your soldiers marching to the battlefield reminded you of who you were doing all of this for.
you were the queen, jimin was the general, and both of you had duties that couldn’t keep you locked in this room.
so, with a pained heart and arms that longed for each other even if only seconds passed, you both parted to step away from each other.
jimin reached for your headgear, taking his time to brush your hair and slip it on your head, the one thing you always let him do for you and you held back your tears as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. you reached for his hands and kissed the back of them, your tears soon fell on them and jimin’s resolve started breaking.
but he sniffed, pushing himself away and wiping your tears, “are you ready, my strongest queen?” he held out his hand with a wide, albeit painful smile on his face.
you put your hand in his, trying to stay strong, “whenever you are, general.”
and as you two stepped out, the warmth of his skin spread on you, his head dipping down to give you one final smile that was filled with his ever-growing love.
you felt scared that you might never see it again.
“i love you, your majesty.”
i love you unbelievably more.
“there will be a royal wedding to get ready for after this, be prepared, general.”
-
jimin winced as sand clouded his vision, he swung his sword aimlessly, hoping to catch his opponent, his ears were ringing from all the screams of agony around him, and when the blood splattered on his face, another scream rang much louder in his ear, causing him to look away.
another soldier who wouldn’t go home.
he whipped his head around, trying to catch sight of you in the midst of all the chaos, and after ducking and running under everyone around him, while slaying whoever he could in the way, he finds you.
a soldier fell at your feet and you took a huge breath, while looking around, only to catch jimin’s impressed face, you both smiled at each other, with red dripping down on your faces.
there was a chance.
you could win this and go back home to each other.
but soon, jimin got pushed into the chaos, and another, darker cloud of sand dusted across his face, forcing him to stand straight and attack again. he couldn’t see you again but he knew you were giving it your all, so he busied himself.
only a few more.
and he would be back with you.
-
they told him that you killed the most.
that you had fought bravely, and led your kingdom to victory.
that you were the queen that they would love and celebrate, even if centuries pass.
but how could jimin love and celebrate you, when he couldn’t hold you in his arms?
when your body was carried into the palace, it had taken everything in jimin to not set the entire palace on fire. to him, a palace without you, alive and breathing life into the building, was not a palace at all.
people held him when he cried, when he wanted to drive his sword into himself, when he would try to shake your body back to life, when he wouldn’t move away from your body, people put their arms around him and tried to lift him up.
but none of them could console him, all the promises you both had dreamed about vanished in front of his eyes and he blamed every single one of them, if they weren’t so harsh on you, if they didn’t call you heartless, you wouldn’t fight till death to prove that you did indeed have a heart, that you indeed had the biggest one.
jimin didn’t have too long to mourn, soon, the heavy crown was positioned on his head, they told him that it was your last request for him to look after the kingdom you had left behind, and once it was on him, he realized the weight you carried around your whole life, since you were only a kid.
they pulled all kinds of royal clothes on him, the materials itched, they burnt his skin, and the gold threads dug into his neck, as if the clothes were his own prison.
as he was made king, the kingdom rejoiced, they were finally getting a king, a true ruler, in their words, and jimin laughed in all their faces, their history would only have one true ruler, and it was you. no one could do what you did.
the throne felt wrong to jimin, as if he didn’t belong, but he knew this was what you wanted for the kingdom you loved so dearly, and jimin would always serve your needs.
he wished, as you had, for you to come and hold him when he had hard decisions to make, he wished to melt into your lap one last time to feel the warmth that ran away from him, he wished that you were right beside him, gently guiding and caring for him.
but he was left with only the ghost of your touch, that would forever haunt him.
jimin still got up every day, he put on the heavy crown and the irritating clothes and listened to the same blubbering idiots, the way you had, and he tried his best to be the ruler you were.
but at night, he crumbled away, dreaming of your touch and your love as he hugged your headgear closer.
jimin’s dreams remained dreams.
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chimchimmarie · 2 months
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OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE (Part Two)
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: College Au, Friends to Lovers
Word Count: 1,500ish
Summary: Jimin finally realizes he wants out of the friendzone, but will you feel the same way when he finally makes his feelings known?
AN: I finally found the time to write pt. 2. I hope you like it. I listened to “Fire Away” by John Michael Howell while writing this.
Read Part One.
The mood in this movie night has quickly shifted from playful banter between friends into one in which you feel judged for sharing that you had finally met someone. You feel yourself crawling into yourself more and more. For a moment, it feels like your friends were ganging up on you, deeming you as some unattractive, poor excuse for a woman who is unworthy of attention and love.
They didn’t actually say that, of course. But your mind has gone into the rabbit hole of overthinking that fast. At this point, you believe it’s becoming more of a second nature to you. You just can’t help it, and you hate yourself for it.
The whole conversation had really made you so self-conscious. You genuinely believe that Taehyung doesn’t mean to hurt you in any way. He’s not a bad person. He’s your best friend. But sometimes words could cut even if you don’t intend them to.
You just don’t get why he just had to make it sound like you’re making the biggest mistake of your life, that you’re being crazy for wanting to finally date.
What’s wrong with dating anyway? Don’t you have a right to meet guys and go out on actual dates?
Are you really that awful as a person to the point that even your friends would forbid you to go out with a guy you think is great?
You feel so betrayed. What kind of friends would gaslight you into thinking you aren’t good enough to date?
And if they tell you one more time that this is them being protective of you, then they’re being complete jerks. This is absurd, you think. You’re a consenting adult, capable of making choices for yourself. And you don’t need to be babied like a middle schooler.
By the time Jimin showed up, Taehyung started acting more frantic than he was prior. He’s still going on and on on why you can’t be thinking about going out with Namjoon. The other guys chimed in, too. Going so far as judging him because he’s a varsity player. But you genuinely think that Namjoon looks decent and nice for someone who plays sports.
He’s nothing like most jocks you’ve come across with in campus. Most of which have either been a fuckboy or a totally egotistic maniac. Namjoon was a great guy. And all these misconstrued notions they have of him is getting in your nerves.
Jimin has been quiet ever since. He hasn’t said a single word to you. He didn’t back you up like he usually does. He’s being too quiet, actually. You’ve been trying to catch his eyes but he hasn’t looked at you since he entered the room. He also suddenly picked a seat on the floor, instead of his usual spot next to you. It’s almost as if he’s suddenly ignoring you.
Feeling so frustrated, you fire back at Taehyung, raising your voice and startling everyone in the room.
“And why should I listen to you!? You’re not my dad, none of you are! You can’t tell me what I can or cannot do! ”
“Oh come on, that’s not even what I’m trying to do, y/n. I’m just worried about—“
“Worried about what?? Can’t you just be happy for me for once?! Damn it Tae!”
“Hey, hey, guys… Stop it. We came here to watch a movie and hang out. Come on.” Jin tries to pacify the tension while blocking your view of Taehyung.
“Right. I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to—“
You didn’t even let Tae finish, you stood up and made a beeline for the door.
Before you could hit the elevator button, a firm warm hand grips on your wrist.
“Y/n. Please… Don’t leave.”
You recognize Jimin’s voice. You feel the warmth of his body close to you. His scent overpowering you for a moment.
You scoff as you try to pry your hands away.
“So, now you speak. Where were you when Tae was in my face the whole time in there?”
You turn around with much force, yanking your arm away from his hold.
“He doesn’t mean it. He’s just—”
“—being Tae. Right. And I’m supposed to just let it slide, like every time?” You cut him off. Frustration and disappointment laced heavily in your tone.
“You know what, I’m sick and tired of taking all this shit from you guys. Whenever I talk to you about my dating life, you get like this. EVERY. DAMN. TIME! Am I not allowed to do that? Is there some kind of rule that I cannot go out there and meet people? I know you guys care about me, but for crying out loud, stop treating me like the helpless little sister you never had!”
The silence that followed your outburst was excruciating. Jimin was wide eyed as he watches you lash out on him, mouth agape and jaw stuttering before he could manage to respond.
“That’s not how I ever saw you.” His voice was soft it’s almost a whisper.
“What?” You ask.
“I never saw you as just a little sister y/n.” Jimin pauses to look at you.
You don’t understand where he’s trying to go with this but you keep mum and decide to let him talk.
“You were more than just that to me. You have no idea.” He scoffs. He keeps his eyes on you as continues to speak his mind.
“And can you please stop thinking that we’re ganging up on you. That we don’t care. That we’re out here to hurt you—God! That’s the last thing we’d ever want for you! And Tae—he’s just trying to… get me to do something about it.”
“About what?” You press him to go on.
Jimin seems hesitant to speak again but he decides it was now or never.
“Y/n, listen to me. Don’t go out with Namjoon. I—“
“Jimin, not you too! For fuck’s sake just—“
“I like you, okay!! There! I said it! I like you!” He cuts you off, hands thrown in the air.
You stop moving and breathing altogether. His sudden confession rendered you unable to speak. You didn’t really know how to respond to that. You feel like you’ve been blindsided by your best friend. You just stood there with eyes bulging, seemingly shocked at what he had just blurted out. Before you could figure out what to say, he’s talking again.
“Look, this isn't how I wanted to do this. Part of the reason Tae acted so rashly is because he knows I was supposed to tell you tonight after the movie but.. you just—I mean, you’ve started seeing people and you’re not supposed to—I mean, I can’t dictate what you can or cannot do.. but.. I haven’t… I just… I had to— God, why is this so hard!? I feel like an idiot!”
Jimin pauses to catch his breath. He rakes his fingers through his hair as frustration starts to crawl up to him.
Taking a step closer to where you’ve been frozen in place, Jimin takes your trembling hands in his. In another breath, he bares his soul to you.
“I’m in love with you y/n. I have for quite some time now. I just— I haven’t been brave enough to admit it. Even to myself. But I want to change that now. And this is me finally doing what I should have done the first time I realized it.”
Jimin watches you for any reactions. But you’re beyond speechless with how things turned out. You’re suddenly hyperaware of his existence in front you.
He’s held you like this before, so many times actually that you’ve lost count already. But the touch of his skin and the way he tightens his grip suddenly feels foreign to you. It almost feels wrong. Like he’s not supposed to hold you like this. He’s your best friend. He’s not supposed to touch you and tell you these absurd things while looking at you like… like he… like he’s actually in love with you.
“Please say something?” He demands with his voice that suddenly sounds so sweet yet yearning.
You look into his eyes as your mind goes haywire in full panic mode and all you can think of doing at the moment is the one thing you genuinely believe you’re good at—running.
And so that’s what you do. You run.
You run from this situation. From your best friend. From the feelings that suddenly feels so suffocating.
Your voice finds you as you tremble and break the contact to hastily step back into the elevator.
“I… I can’t— I can’t do this.. Jimin, I—I’m sorry.”
As you wait for the doors to close., the last image you see is Jimin’s hopeful eyes morph into pain. Like someone just ripped his heart out of his chest.
Part Three tbc.
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bangtangalicious · 11 months
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placebo (m) | pjm (2)
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pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader, namjoon x reader (later)
summary: a microchip signals to you when you find someone compatible to be your soulmate. yours is the opposite of you in every way, and he doesn't even believe in soulmates
genre: 18+ romance, smut, angst, soulmate!au, dystopian backdrop, love triangle, romeo-juliet, opposites attract, grumpy-sunshine, fate versus destiny
premise: the soulmate initiative was a state program to promote healthy relationships. all citizens have a chip which signals to them when they find someone who meets their compatibility threshold. park jimin is a member of the resistance that aims to dismantle the state, as well as programs like this which rob free will. determined to love him no matter your differences, you fight for him despite the danger it puts both you and him in
wc: 8.5k || series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
warnings: multiple & explicit smut scenes, lots of kissing good lord, penetrative sex, rough sex, love-making, emotional sex, public sex, oral (f rec), fingering, fondling, fluffy aftercare, jungkook sorta just walks in on you while showering so theres that, physical fighting (not mc), blackmail, a is for angst, crying, mention of family deaths, use of cigarettes, lying, jimin might be a tiny bit toxic if you squint
taglist: @tornparts @loona15 @effielumiere @agustdreamsblog @jnghs @dragons-flare @xiusmarshmallow @ratherbefangirling @infires-imagines @aretha170 @dvalitaes @kookiejeonie @ddaeng-angmoh @idk123906 @medievalpink5 @cuteipat @jimin-neverout @uarmyhore @natalie-rdr @secradee @tea4sykes @yawnkive
Indulgence. The ironic meeting spot of the resistance within the isolated Red District of the city. Neon lights flickering across inebriated eyes—eyes that dreamed of justice but currently were mesmerized by the dancers, embodying grace and allure, fluid movements, enticing glances, bodies telling tales of desire. Here they would congregate, removed from the prying eyes of society.
Jimin pushed open the heavy door, hit with the aromatic blend of perfume, whiskey, and sweat. An intoxicating haze. Across the room, Jin and the others sat, cigarettes lit and glasses clinking. A celebration of sorts—Jimin wondered why. They never invited him here. Frankly, he never cared to come either. It was a liability. Jimin was one of the few resistance members that continued to possess the state-mandated microchip. Him arriving in person to a banned establishment such as a strip club, put the entire area on the state’s radar.
Nevertheless, Jin texted him to come. So he obeyed.
“There he is” Jin greeted him from the comfort of the leather-clad booth. The light chatter diminishing as the others acknowledged him. Jimin took a seat, Jin handing him the cigarette right away.
As the smoke caressed his senses, a fleeting calm washed over him, a momentary escape from the chaos of the world. The world around him seemed to dim, and his mind went straight to you. How it felt so right to have your body hugged up against him when he rode you home. Your lips hovering over his neck, your scent, all of you overwhelming all of him. Speeding way beyond the limit at the edge of the night. No one to find you, no one to interfere.
In that moment the two of you were not soulmates. You were two people, high on the danger, adrenaline, and glimpse of a new beginning. You were alive.
Jimin’s lips curled in a subtle smile. The others could never know. He couldn’t imagine what they would do to you, if they knew. Jimin’s mere presence around you was a danger. The risk he took seeing you was worth it, for the thrill. But he knew better than to push his luck.
“Who’s got you smiling like that?” Across the table, Min Yoongi—a high ranked member who was like a mentor to his brother, teased. Jimin shrugged, tapping the ashtray. He wondered if any of them had felt the kind of high he had with you. Heart racing, fingers trembling, blood hot with desire.
“Jimin went to see his soulmate”
He blinked. Jin’s smile was wide—cocky. The whole table looked around in shock, exchanging looks of concern.
“Hyung what the hell” Jimin muttered under his breath. He didn’t know how Jin found out, probably had him followed. Fuck, he knew he shouldn’t have done it. He should have cut all contact with you the second he found out.
But he was too curious. Too drawn to your sweet taste that left scars on his lips. Was that selfish?
“Look,” Jin cleared his throat, “We’ve had come concerns about your commitment to the cause” Listening patiently, Jimin took another sharp inhale, letting the smoke dissipate through his lips. “You have an opportunity to prove your loyalty. Are you willing to do so?”
Willing. What a joke—Jimin mused. Technically, the resistance would never force actions on any of its members. But Jimin was a puppet and the strings of the fight for freedom chained him.
“Jimin’s soulmate also happens to be a scientist. Working on experiments for the Soulmate Initiative itself”
Jimin’s fists clenched, tempted like many other times to give Jin a solid punch to the face. A waitress approached the table. “Sir, this young woman was looking for you” She motioned to the entrance where you stood. Uncomfortable, scanning the foreign space.
Jimin exhaled, breath full of smoke, coughing out in shock. What the fuck were you doing here?
“Ah, she’s pretty, Jimin. If she were mine I’d probably buy into the soulmate crap just for a taste, although I’m assuming that’s what you’ve been doing huh” Jin teased. Jimin kicked his shin, not appreciating his flirty tone.
Setting down his cigarette, he immediately stood. Passing back an annoyed glare at Jin who simply chuckled.
Without a word he pulled you outside into the cold. The wind was crisp still—his leather jacket shielding him from it. And you were drowning in your puffy coat, knitted hat covering up to your eyelids.
Cute.
“Miss me already, doctor?” Jimin teased, trying his best to figure out why the hell you would have come here, and moreover how you would have known about this place.
You tugged at your sleeves, nose scrunching as you searched for words. He stared into your eyes. Your pretty, fucking gorgeous eyes that transfixed him like hypnosis. Eyes that said so much so loud, and yet he was dying to hear them. Jimin tried to fight it, the way every fiber of him was screaming to kiss you, fists clenching as he held himself back.
And then you bit your lip. So subtly, out of habit. But you did. And fuck.
Fuck.
Jimin lost it. He smashed his lips against yours. The taste he swore he was addicted to. Craving your lips, gasping, breathing you in. Hands cupping your face, forehead tilted against yours—he kissed you like your touch was all he needed to survive.
Maybe it was.
“Get off of me” You shoved him away. Jimin stared at you, stunned. “Asshole”
“Y/n—what?” He reached for your hand, but you pulled it away. Had he done something? His mind whirred, scanning through your entire evening. Every word he said, every move he made. He loved every second—and he thought you had too.
“Fuck you Jimin. I lost my job because of what you did” You gripped his jacket.
What the hell is she talking about? Jimin’s eyes softened. “You lost your job?”
His brows furrowed in confusion, until Jin’s words came echoing back. An opportunity to prove yourself.
They were testing him.
“You stole the data from the lab, didn’t you?”
Jimin’s nails dug into his palm as he took a deep breath.
“Yeah.” His response curt. He watched as tears began to spill from your eyes. His throat felt tight, chest pounding with regret.
“Why?”
“You know why, doctor”
“Did today mean nothing to you?” Your voice was small. Jimin stepped back, hand running through his hair. Lying to you felt wrong, but he had to do it. He had to lie to you. He had to destroy this before it began.
“Look, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” The words left his mouth before he could stop them. The hurt in your eyes broke him a little. “I only went to see you because I had a job to do. I tricked you. That’s who I am”
This was for the best. So why did it feel so fucking horrible?
You shook your head furiously, “You’re lying”
“If you had a mind of your own, you wouldn’t even want to be in a relationship with someone like me anyway. That’s how I know it’s bullshit. They’re controlling you”
“No” You were stubborn, “No, I know you feel it too”
Jimin wanted to break. Shatter into a million pieces and get whisked away by the wind. His heart ached, bliss was only a truth away.
“Of course I fucking feel it, there’s a chip in my fucking neck telling me to” Jimin snapped, grabbing your waist, “And god does it feel good. So fucking good, I want to kiss you so fucking bad whenever I see you. But that’s all it is. I’m not in love with you Y/n—I can’t be”
You stepped away from him, evidently shaking. Jimin felt awful—sick to his core. Each tear streaming down your face was a bullet to his heart. A punch to the face. He wished the ground would swallow him whole. This was his fault—he shouldn’t have entertained you, not for a second. You should hate him, and he knew you probably wouldn’t because of the damn microchip. Which was the most frustrating part.
“Y/n are you done?”
Jimin turned to see Jungkook pull up in a small electric car. His glasses were foggy, hair a shaggy mess over his long coat.
“Glasses. Always a pleasure”
“Shut the fuck up man” Jungkook parked the car, stepping out to rush past him, taking you into his arms. Jimin crossed his arms over his chest, watching as Jungkook wiped your tears away before leading you into the car.
You turned back, one last time. He wondered if you could read his eyes. If you could, he was screaming out to you.
Fists balled up in fury, he stormed back inside the club. Jin stood by the window, amused by the whole ordeal. Slow applause filled his ringing ears as Jin approached him, patting him on his back.
“Well done. Almost wasn’t sure you had it in you”
Jimin had enough. He felt disgusting. Venom through his veins as his throat felt heavy with guilt. He was sick and tired of Jin. Sick and tired of the resistance dictating his every move. Holding their money over his head—he could be fine on his own. He could go off, get a job somewhere and fend for himself. Maybe he could get a scholarship to keep studying, he would never know. Under the guise of his brother’s wishes, how much was he expected to sacrifice?
With a surge of adrenaline, he lunged forward, fists clenched, aiming towards his Jin’s jaw. The music stopped. People gathered around, watching intently. Jimin’s eyes fuming with rage.
“You forget who the fuck I am?” Jimin sneered, “You’re out of line.”
Jin chuckled darkly, touching his bruise before standing back upright. “Oh come on, you don’t actually care about her. You barely know the bitch” Jimin swung at him again, but Jin dodged him move, forearm intercepting to twist him back. Jimin proceeded to kick back into his gut.
“Call her a bitch again, see what happens.” Jin landed on the floor, grunting as Jimin towered over him, “Get her her fucking job back Jin”
Jin wasn’t backing down. He punched Jimin back, the clash of their fists echoed through the silent room. Blow after blow exchanged, the impact reverberating through their bodies, fueling their determination.
“Where the fuck would you go?” Jin laughed between strikes, “She will never forgive you now. I you both a favor”
Jin dodged another swift punch, retaliating with a swift kick to his Jimin’s abdomen. Jimin staggered backward, but quickly regained his footing, launching himself back at him.
“You can’t love her Jimin, even if you wanted to” Jin rammed Jimin against the wall, trapping his throat with his elbow. Attempting to reason with him. “A part of you would always wonder. I know you kid. You have a duty to your brother”
“You’re the reason my brother is dead” Jimin hissed, trying to push Jin off but to no avail. They stood, chests heaving, their eyes locked with an intense spite.
“Okay enough” Yoongi interrupted, rolling his eyes. He held Jimin’s shoulder before nodding to Jin to let him go. “Jin, please get the poor girl her job back. That’s an order. And Jimin, the resistance core will be in touch about a character review. Stay away from the scientist—you know the rules”
You—
At some point it began to rain. Standing still, cold droplets seeping through your coat made you shiver. A welcome sensation, numbing the pain in your chest.
Jungkook unlocked your apartment before pulling you into his chest. You sobbed into him as he pressed his lips on top of your head.
"You poor thing, let’s get you into the shower"
He was sweet, handing you towels, laying out a pair of dry clothes for you. The hot vapor of the shower forcing you relax, forcing you to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. You slid to the floor, the shower pouring down on your back. Hot water scalding against your head. Hugging your knees to your chest.
You hear the shower door slide open, not reacting as your voice dried into soft sobs. Jungkook hovered over you, clothes getting wet at the edge of the water. Instead of focusing on the fact that you were completely naked, soaking wet in front of him, he looked into your eyes. Worried.
Finally, he crawled into the tiny space, sitting down by your side. His large hands caressing your hunched shoulders. You met his gaze. Grateful for him, as always.
God why couldn't it have been him? Such a perfect piece to your missing puzzle. His hair began to curl up in front of his eyes, dewy as he shook the water away. He was so close. So warm. Lips so soft, so near.
He smiled, and you could tell his thoughts mirrored yours. Eyes scanning over your face, your body, before he looked away. A disappointment in his eyes.
"I told you he was no good" Jungkook muttered, a hint of bitterness.
Closing your eyes, you focused on the way the water flowed over your head, down onto your eyelids, dripping off onto your face. Your boss, Dr. Jung had texted you—the data was missing. All of it, your years of work grinding through your degree. Jimin had stolen all of it. Inviting himself into your lab under the guise of wanting to give you a chance. It was a lie. You could barely fathom that soulmates could lie to one another. Let alone hurt them so deeply. Your fingers trembled, pressed between your knees.
“If I had been his type.” You confessed, laughing slightly, “Or somehow better, then he might have believed just a little bit that we were actually meant to be together, and maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he wouldn’t have betrayed me”
“Bullshit” Jungkook said quietly, “It’s not you. It’s how he was raised”
You knew he was right. Ever logical, Jungkook never entertained pointless theory. He looked at the facts—and the fact was that you finally met your soulmate. And he was part of the resistance, a group built around free will. Something they claim the state denies through programs such as the Soulmate Initiative.
“Y/n” Jungkook interrupted your thoughts, “Have you ever considered that Jimin just may not want a soulmate at all?”
You stared at Jungkook. Picking at your nails nervously as you considered his question. There were no laws that forced soulmates to be together. It was usually the case that they simply chose to do so. It was logical, to you. Be with the person you are compatible with—the person who can love you and make you happy. Complete you like no one else can. You thought back to your “date” with him. The way you felt so incredibly safe with him. The amazing adrenaline rush you felt holding onto him for dear life as he raced on his motorcycle. The look in his eyes after he kissed you.
Those were facts. That was real.
“When I first saw Jimin and knew, I found myself wishing I hadn’t looked” You placed your hand over Jungkook’s.
Jungkook stared blankly at the floor. Body tensing at your words.
“Well” Turning off the shower, he stared at you, at your body. “I never looked anywhere but at you” Frozen in place, his throat tight, cheeks blushing.
You stared at him, bewildered.
His fingers trapped your jaw, before allowing his lips to slide onto yours. You groaned into his mouth, as his other hand rested on your thigh. Gripping at your skin.
As your lips touched, a surge of conflicting emotions coursed through your veins. For years this was all you wanted. Him—just like this. Wanting you just as bad. Time stood still as your mouths delicately met, exploring each other, evoking a rush of feeling. Of comfort.
But what it felt like with Jimin was different. Something you couldn’t quite make sense of. Logic was misaligned, but Jimin felt incredible to kiss. His smile made you giddy with happiness.
As Jungkook pulled away, a mixture of confusion and clarity settled upon you. You missed Jimin, despite it all. Your heart may not be ready to forgive, but you weren’t ready to give up either. There had to be more to the story. You simply refused to believe your soulmate would ever put you in harms way.
“Forget about him” Jungkook urged almost knowingly, voice trying desperately to push out your infiltrative thoughts. His nose tracing yours, “Just forget him”
He slid his lips onto yours again, this time with more intensity. You could feel without a doubt that he wanted you. As you fell back onto the cold shower floor, Jungkook’s hand cushioning your head. His eyes locked shut—but yours wide open.
You groaned in surprise, attempting to push his large frame away. He got the hint, lifting you back up.
“Let me stay with you tonight” Jungkook pleaded, grabbing a towel and wrapping it over your shoulders. “So you don’t have to be alone”
You couldn’t say no. It hurt too much.
You woke up in Jungkook’s arms, his hands on your stomach, and your back against his chest. Carefully you tried to move your legs which were wedged between his.
He groaned, feeling you move. Tightening his hold and pulling you back to him. You felt your breath escape you as Jungkook’s prominent boner pressed into your thigh. You were a scientist. A biologist—so you knew these things were perfectly normal. But you couldn’t help the way your stomach erupted into butterflies.
“Morning,” Jungkook reached out, stretching cutely. “That was the best sleep I’ve gotten in a while” He confessed, nuzzling against your neck. “You sleep okay?”
Your heart hammered in your chest. He was being incredibly sweet-addictively so, and you wanted to give in.
“Yeah I did, thanks” You leaned into his touch, his lips warm and sloppy against your nape. You couldn’t help the soft moan leaving your lips as his hands slid over your stomach. Threatening to go higher.
“You smell so good” He muttered lazily. A small smile painted your lips. Your phone began to vibrate. Checking the screen, you raised your eyebrows.
“Dr. Jung?”
“Y/n, it seems as though the data were returned,” He sounded annoyed, per usual, “You must have some great connections because I’ve been ordered to re-employ you, but best believe if you bring another stranger into my lab again—”
“Oh, uh. N-Never, sir”
The man hung up. You blinked slowly, processing. “I got my job back”
Jungkook’s smile widened, “That’s great—”
“Jimin did this,” You stood up urgently, interrupting Jungkook, “I have to find him”
“Y/n” Jungkook grabbed your arm before you could run off. “He doesn’t want you. He made that clear”
You shook your head, “I can’t give up. I deserve love, and so does he”
Jimin—
The resistance core was furious once they caught wind of Jimin’s actions. He was to be put in front of the resistance core council to debate his allegiance. Jimin couldn’t care less. Perhaps this was the escape—you were the escape, the chance he needed to get out and find his own destiny. Course, you were gone. You wouldn’t be able to forgive him, hell, Jimin wouldn’t want you to.
You were probably with Jungkook. He wondered if you liked Jungkook back since he clearly liked you. Maybe he comforted you. Maybe the two of you slept together.
Jimin wanted to vomit.
“Jimin” The council head spoke after some silence, reviewing the documented complaints, “We believe in free will. If you don’t want to support us, the cause that your brother gave so much to, to avenge the death of your family, that is your prerogative. However if you intend to stay with us, you must agree to never make contact with The Scientist ever again”
Nodding, Jimin gulped. He figured as much.
“We realize the pull of the Soulmate Initiative is tough to resist. And we do want you to be happy. So if you really do want to be with The Scientist, you can do so if she leaves her job and is willing to cooperate with us”
He couldn’t do that to you. No way.
Jimin had to decide. Jin was right, if he left he didn’t have anywhere to go. Not a penny to his own name. He did want to see change. At least here, he was able to make an impact. Here, his existence had some meaning.
“I won’t contact her again. I am grateful for the council’s mercy”
On his bike, he had no direction. No sense of where he was going—but he drove on. Fast, dangerously swerving the roads. He couldn’t talk to you, but he could check up on you at least. No, that would be far too painful.
Tears built in his eyes, clouding his vision. Bringing his motorcycle to a stop on the edge of the highway, he cried. A child denied a toy, he cried because he missed you. Because his body wanted you and he had to deny it. Deny you. Everything stripped away from him—his family, brother and now you. Was there a point to any of it?
“Are you alright?” A car halted—large white SUV, clearly indicating a state official. The window was tainted black, bulletproof. As it rolled down, Jimin could see a pair of eyes. It was a man. He looked vaguely familiar.
“Yeah, I’m good”
He rode to campus, soul void. Studying was a proven distraction to his hopeless reality. After all, he couldn’t afford to sulk around. He had to keep moving. As he walked towards the law library, he saw you. You saw him. The two of you frozen in time.
Until you were running. Running to him with your arms open and he caught you, swinging you up with the momentum, hand behind your head as he hugged you into him. Nirvana. Instinct, taking in all you were—your scent, the heat from your body—until he realized he was touching you and pushed you away.
“I got my job back” You were elated, brimming with excitement. Jimin wanted to kiss every inch of your smiling face. A warm feeling erupting from your happiness.
“Glad to hear it, doctor” He remained stoic, nevertheless. He needed you to give up. Needed you to get away.
“You care about me, you did this”
Jimin sighed. Why did his soulmate have to be the most stubborn woman on the fucking planet—he didn’t know.
“I don’t care about you”
“Stop fighting me” You pleaded, grabbing his shoulders and shaking them. “Look I’m sure you had your reasons for doing what you did. We can move past this”
“I already told you I don’t want this”
You stepped forward, face inched away from his, a fiery determination in your eyes.
“Really?” You tilted your face, squinting at him. Jimin nodded, eyebrows raised.
You stroked his face, just as he had done to you many times. He was stiff, taken aback by your forwardness. Without thinking, you pushed yourself onto your toes so you could melt into a kiss. You knew he could feel it, down to his bones—nothing was more right in the world than when you were in his arms, lips on his. No moral compass could keep you apart in those moments, Jimin was merely a servant, a fool bending to your magnetism and he would give up everything in an instant to feel like this forever.
His lips parted, letting you slip your tongue in. Widening your jaw to deepen the kiss. Tender in his actions, taming his need. Savoring every second.
Tears rolled down his face. If this was the last time he’d ever see you, he wanted it all. Forehead pressed against yours, his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips, breathing barely inches away. Panting. Heart pounding.
“I can’t” You could feel his words, spoken upon your lips. Tone serious. No teasing, no flirting, just straight. “They won’t let me”
He stared at you a beat longer. Before grabbing your wrist, dragging you behind the library to an alleyway near the dumpsters. He pressed you against the wall, gripping your waist firmly.
He dove into your neck, fluttering kisses all over. Fingers trailing up your sides to where he grabbed your wrists, stretching them to either side of you. Movement urgent, frantic—you were his kryptonite, and he was unraveling at the seams.
Your fingers intertwined with his, as he nipped at your jaw. Breathing heavily, you attempted to call out his name but no voice came. Instead a soft moan. His fingers tightened around yours as he pulled away, staring into your eyes.
Silence. Only the sounds of both of you desperately trying to catch your breath. Flushed and bewildered.
“You should leave” Jimin’s voice was coarse. Deeper than usual, “Go”
He didn’t move. Neither did you. You challenged him, gaze unwavering. Waiting to see what he would do next.
It was as if something inside of him snapped. Something feral, raw, suppressed. Instantly he released your hands, fumbling to unbutton your pants. He yanked them down just enough before doing so to himself. Fingers softly gliding over your folds, barely teasing. He grabbed your hips, lifting you up against the wall before yanking your panties aside. Biting his lip, focused. You watched, gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, as his cock teased your entrance.
“Tell me to stop” He growled. “Tell me right fucking now doctor”
You shook your head, sliding your hand to his jaw. Blinking you stared into his lust shot eyes, eyelids fluttering, hazy with desire.
He sank into you slowly, letting out a low groan into your neck. Hands holding you steady, he was patient. Despite the heated urgency of his actions. There was not a thought in his head. Not a thought in yours. Nothing but raw need as he felt your hot walls tighten around him.
Jimin’s nose traced yours as he began to move in and out. Bouncing you up against the wall while your hands ran through his hair, scratching at him. Grabbing fistfuls and tugging his head back. He was so deep, so full inside you. The drag of his cock against your walls had you seeing stars. Rolling your eyes back, you wanted to scream.
“Ssh, be quiet for me doctor” Jimin kissed your lips playfully, lingering as he continued to fuck into you. He rolled his hips, pushing you up with every thrust, fingers digging into the bottom of your ass.
He let you onto your feet, pulling out so he could turn you around. Your hands up against the wall, his wrapped around your chest, shamelessly grabbing at you over your coat. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel you. Unzipping the damned thing he tossed it aside, enveloping you to keep you from the cold.
Finally his hands could slip under your sweater, pushing it up to the tops of your chest, tits sensitive to his touch. Hooking his jaw over your shoulder he watched as he squeezed your breasts, caressing them fondly.
Jimin pressed his lips against your collar, digging in his teeth. Keeping a hand on your chest, he slid back into you from behind, this time immediately rocking his hips steady into you. You arced your back, reaching back to grab his hair again. The slippery echoes of your cunt getting louder as his thrusts intensified.
Pressing you up even closer to the wall, he let one hand dive in front of you, fingers gliding over your clit. His touch was gentle, reaching exactly where you needed him to. And he could tell. Smiling against the back of your head as he felt you beginning to tremble. Wetness seeping as his cock nudged in further, finger rapidly circling your clit right there. Pushing you closer and closer to your edge.
Nothing but red. Red heat building inside of you, toes curling, lungs clenching—you couldn’t breathe. His body so close, the warmth against the cold air. You bucked forward, body spasming, twitching all over. He didn’t waver, he kept going, finger working you through your orgasm. Biting back moans as you tightened around his cock. Your wetness seeping through, soaking him.
Cursing, he pulled out, afraid he was going to lose himself in the sweet sensation of you. Turning you back around he pulled your thighs apart, sliding his cock against your clit, causing you to wince.
“Fuck, come here” He gritted, pulling you into another kiss. His hand tugging at his cock. He spilled into his palm, letting out a deep moan.
Finding steadiness, he cleaned himself up, zipping up his pants as you did the same. Grabbing your coat from the ground, he handed it to you.
As he was doing so, you noticed the bruises on his skin.
“Jimin—are you hurt?” You touched him again, causing him to flinch. “When did this happen?”
“Don’t” He warned. “Just go”
“Can I at least bandage you—my place isn’t too far from here, come on okay” You grabbed his wrist, tugging him along. Jimin stood firm in his ground.
“Why can’t you fuck off”
You turned back at him, “Fine, let me do this and then you can go—I won’t bother you again”
Jimin looked at you skeptically, but chose to go along regardless. He followed you through campus, the snow beginning to melt away—spring was nearing. He could see tiny flower buds on bushes, birds chirping in the distance. Your apartment was cozy. A smaller building, you were on the top floor. Frazzled, you fumbled with your keys to get in, and Jimin was hardly surprised to see the haphazard shape your place was in—textbooks, papers everywhere. 
“Sorry about the mess”
Jimin was a neat freak himself. Nevertheless, he swallowed his irks and let you lead him into your bedroom. He scanned the walls, aside from some nerdy science posters there wasn’t much there. He noticed your shelf of romance novels, as well as a copy of Dr. Kim Namjoon’s memoir.
You pulled off his jacket, then his shirt. His toned muscles littered with purple. The bruises causing your eyes to widen. Jimin couldn’t help but smirk. They weren’t watching anymore—no harm in teasing you a little.
“Like what you see doc?”
You blushed, meeting his eyes before immediately returning to your task. “No—I mean, yeah you look great. Not your bruises—those don’t look good at all, but here let me just—” You found a first aid kit under your bed. Grabbing some gauze and alcohol, you began to tend to his wounds. He watched as you kneeled in front of him, focus lasered onto the task at hand.
Jimin grabbed your jaw suddenly, overwhelmed by your tender care. Pulling your face to his. You blinked at him, stunned as he kissed you softly. Humming against your mouth. More relaxed, at ease, as if he had all the time in the world.
“Jimin let me—mmpfh” He didn’t let you finish. He didn’t want to hear another word. Pulling you into his lap, he slid your own coat to the floor. Not leaving your lips for a second.
“No” You squealed, giggling slightly. “No more until you let me clean your wounds”
Jimin pouted, looking to you with puppy eyes. “But you’re my doctor aren’t you—and this makes me feel good”
“I thought you wanted to leave” You taunted him right back. He grinned, enjoying the way you were pushing him.
“I’m not in a rush” His eyes darkened, tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth.
“You don’t ever have to leave, you know” You offered. “They can’t hurt you here”
Jimin raised his eyebrows, “The resistance you mean? Why are you gonna take them all on your own?” He nudged you playfully. You shrugged.
“I could use my evil science powers”
Jimin laughed. Laughed in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Why did he want to leave so badly—why did he have to push you away? Could he dare to hope that you two could survive anything—it seemed unrealistic. Cliché. But here he was, dumb in love with you despite his best efforts.
Wait what.
Jimin gulped, growing serious all of a sudden as he continued to stare at you. You rose from his lap, a goofy smile on your face as you packed up the first aid kit.
“You said they won’t let you…were you talking about the resistance? Will they not let you be with me? Because I’m your soulmate” He watched as you wandered into your kitchen.
“It’s not because you’re my soulmate. It’s your job” Jimin responded, “But I also don’t believe in this soulmate stuff, which you know”
“Well clearly you do when it helps you get laid” You joked. He knew you were joking, but it wasn’t funny to him. His physical attraction to you was feverish, and it concerned him that he might be taking advantage of you. Getting benefits of a commitment he was unwilling to make. You returned, noticing his serious aura. “Jimin—it’s fine. You told me you don’t want me, anything that happened after was my choice”
You don’t want me. Of course he wanted you. How could he not want you—you were perfect. You were suffocatingly stubborn, clingy, messy and absolutely clueless but you were perfect. And you would fight to the ends of the earth for what you believed in, while Jimin wasn’t sure if he believed in anything anymore.  
“I’d never ask you to leave your job. But they own me, Y/n. I really can’t do anything about it. I didn’t even steal your data. They did, and they made me take the fall for it so that you’d hate me and leave me alone”
“I will leave you alone Jimin, if I think that’s what you actually want” You held his hand firmly, “But I have a tough time thinking that’s true”
Jimin looked at you. The glimmer of hope in your eyes. “Even if they allowed it, that doesn’t change the fact that we’re inherently not compatible”
“We are compatible. We’re soulmates. You do what you have to do for the resistance, I won’t interfere and I would never sell you out”
“What if my job forces me to damage something you believe in though?”
You sighed deeply. Jimin could tell you didn’t know the answer. Despair began to weigh down on you both, how unlucky must you be to have been matched to someone like him. He wanted to be the man you deserved, but he wasn’t. Plain and simple.
“I like you, Jimin” You confessed instead. “I think you’re great. I want you. You’re in my dreams, I can’t not think about you. Even when Jungkook kissed me I,”
Jimin’s grip on your hand loosened. “Jungkook kissed you?”
“It didn’t mean anything! He was just trying to comfort me, I think”
He put his hands up in defense, “I’m not upset with you doctor—I get it. He’s cute”
You made a face, “You make fun of him”
Jimin winked, “You can be lame and cute at the same time. You are”
“You think I’m lame?”
“I think you’re a nerd” He confessed, matter of factly. You punched him playfully before sliding your lips onto his. He pulled you against his chest, holding you tenderly. “Prettiest fucking nerd, but nerd nonetheless”
You giggled against his lips. He kissed you again and again, smiling in between and it was everything. Jimin couldn’t even fathom that you were real. A real person in his arms making him so happy—elated about the future in a way he was sure he’d never been before. You were everything. The start of everything.
Falling onto his back, you climbed over him, lips not parting for even a moment. His hands gripping at the hem of your sweater before you allowed him to pull it over your head. He admired you, lips swollen in nothing but your baby blue sports bra.
He let his fingers trail over the fabric, drawing light circles and watching the way you twitched under him. You gasped, unconsciously rolling your hips against him. The look on your face was priceless, biting down on your lip hard as you tried to tame down your sensitivity. Adorable, how you thought Jimin couldn’t tell. That he couldn’t read your body like the back of his hand. Finally you grabbed his wrists, stopping his movements so that you could pull off your bra. Your breasts popping out—Jimin lay dumbfounded, eyes glued to your body.
You looked at him, shy. Jimin exhaled shakily, unsure how to capture his amazement. He wanted to touch—so fucking bad. You rose carefully, sliding down you trousers until you were left in your panties. Then those dropped to the floor.
“Fucking hell doctor, you’re gonna give me a heart attack” He stood up, unzipping his own pants where his bulge was painful, burning between his legs. Kicking the garments aside, his hands hovered over your waist—barely touching. Waiting for your signal.
“You’re beautiful”
Jimin’s ears burned at your words, blush across his face. You looked at him with awe. His heart fluttered, realizing he had never really been complimented on his looks before, merely his ability to fight.
“Can I touch you?” His voice was raspy, barley audible. Lust seized every fiber of him. “Please let me fucking touch you”
You nodded, and Jimin wasted not one more second grabbing your hips, sliding his hands to your ass where he squeezed you as his lips locked with yours.
Laying you down on the bed, his lips trailed every inch of your skin from your toes, up your calves, down your thighs. Loving the way you twitched and moaned at his every move. Riling you up, he wanted to see you fall apart under him. His fingers found your clit again, palm rolling under your folds. You grinded on his wrist, fingers helplessly clutching the sheets beneath you.
Dropping to his knees, he spread your thighs, admiring your glistening folds. You bucked your hips as he traced them—trying desperately to shut your legs but he overpowered you.
“Jimin I’ve never—I don’t know if that’s such a good” He shushed you sweetly, looking deep into your eyes. Kissing the insides of your thigh, he worked he way to your pussy. Slow, patient, kissing the edge of your folds as you squealed.
“It’s okay baby, I want to” He promised, and you believed him. His hand caressing your thigh to ease the tension before he slipped in his tongue. Eyes not leaving yours for a second. It was incredibly intimate. He seemed to consume you, in a white-hot blaze of adoration. You reached for him, sitting up to grab a fistful of his hair. The pull turned him on even more, his tongue flicking faster, eating you out for all you were worth.
“Jimin” You panted, “Ohh fuck” He continued to fuck his tongue inside of you, drinking up your essence. His wet tongue hot, deep in your core where you could feel his every move—driving you crazy. Your eyes dazed, frazzled beyond belief. Lips parted as your eyes rolled back with pleasure.
Coming up for air, he licked his lips, savoring your taste. You stared at him with blasted eyes as he crawled up to your face so he could kiss you again.
“Thank you” Jimin chuckled at your words.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby. It’s my fucking pleasure”
“Should I do you?”
He shook his head. If he didn’t pound his cock inside you right now, he swore he was going to implode.
“Open up for me baby, yeah?” He lined his cock up with your soaked cunt. Slowly, inch by inch he began to slide in. You bit down on your lips hard, until blood trickled out. Jimin licked it right up, tongue teasing your lips before sliding into your mouth. He bottomed out, lips glued to yours, groaning into you. Propped up on his forearms, he gave you a moment to adjust. He felt so good—shafted deep inside you. You clenched around him obscenely tight, he was seeing stars. You were a dizzy hurricane, and he wanted to be swept up by you. Destroyed until there was nothing left.
“You feel so good” He buried his face into your neck, “Fuck baby, so fucking good for me. You feel okay baby? Can I move?”
“Y-yeah” At your green light, Jimin carefully pulled out. Back in, tight thrusts beginning to pick up in pace. Dotting your face with kisses between each one. He swore he was losing consciousness, vision blurred with desperation—craving of you. Heart pounding as pleasure wiped through his nerves.
Hooking your leg over his shoulder, he adjusted his angle, hitting you even deeper. Your cunt coating him, the sound and smell of sex driving Jimin feral. His hands grabbing your breasts, wanting you to be stimulated—to feel as good as he was.
“Fuck baby, I don’t ever want to leave” His mind was void. Reason out the door as he spewed nonsense. “I’ll leave it all for you baby, leave it all for this fucking cunt—oh God”
“Don’t leave” You responded, disoriented by his pace. “Don’t ever leave me”
“I won’t baby, fuck, I’m never leaving” He kissed you firmly, letting your leg fall to the side. He stared into your eyes, foreheads touching as he drove his cock in deep. “You like it baby? You want my big fucking cock, yeah?”
You nodded furiously as he taunted you. The pout in your lips sending him overboard. “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum so fucking hard—you’re so fucking hot, my pretty girl—where do you want me? Want me to cum on your face?”
“Please” You gasped as he pulled out, tugging his cock as he kneeled tall over you, letting his cum squirt down onto your eyelids. He groaned, taken by the sensation and by how sexy you looked covered in his cum like that. Ropes of cum streaming out as his hips bucked, hot pleasure seizing him.
“Fuckk” He collapsed onto you, burying his face into your chest. Rolling onto your sides, you caressed his head against you. He looked up at you, nothing but fondness in his eyes. Wiping the cum off of you with his discarded t-shirt.
The two of you lay in silence, simply adoring one another. Jimin pulled you into his arms, grabbing your comforter so the two of you could slide under. He stroked your back softly, fingers trailing up and down your spine. Naked legs tangling. Fitting against each other like a puzzle. He kissed your forehead as you buried your face into his chest.
“You okay?” He asked after some time, massaging your shoulders gently. You peered up at him, content and blissed.
“This is really nice” You whispered, trying to hide your smile. Jimin held your chin steady, preventing you from turning away.
“You’re so cute” He muttered, landing another peck to your lips. It never got old, he swore he could kiss you forever. “I—”
He stiffened, unsure if he was ready to say it. It was too soon, and he still lacked the answers of how the two of you could possibly work, and you must have known because you simply chuckled.
“I know. Me too”
You—
The lab had always been your safe space. The comfort of the chunky white lab coats, latex-free gloves and goggles. Your protection. Your serenity. As you went about your trials, Jungkook sat at the bench next to yours, typing away at his computer.
“What are you working on?” The silence was too loud. Things felt awkward with Jungkook. You knew you couldn’t tell him you hooked up with Jimin. Even though, in your eyes, you did the right thing. Your first time with Jimin was rushed. Unexpected. But so was he. In the most flawed way, he was somehow perfect. You knew he was scared of what he felt. Scared to question what he believed, but in that moment all he wanted was you and he was sure to let you know that. Second time was bliss. And you were so excited to go home to him. Excited for every amazing night to come. You wanted to tell Jungkook everything, but wasn’t sure he would appreciate knowing the intimate details of your love life.
“I’m finding your compatibility results”
You swerved, “What?” Kicking your chair so it rolled next to Jungkook’s. You scanned his screen, seeing him type in some code. “How?”
“I have my ways” He assured you, “I just want to get to the bottom of this, you deserve better”
“Jungkook, that might not be necessary anymore actually because…”
“Here!” Your attention redirected to his screen. He clicked on a file, opening a scanned proposal. Scrolling through, he finally found your name. “Y/n L/n, age, birthday, la da da” Humming, he searched the data for a clue.
“Well?” You tapped your fingers against the desk.
“Uh” Jungkook gulped, “Interesting.”
“What? What is it?”
Jungkook looked at you, almost as though he were debating what to say next. “Y/n, do you really love him?”
“We’re getting there” He raised his eyebrows, “I mean, we—are making progress”
Jungkook read between your words. Shutting his laptop, he sighed. “Nevermind”
“Jungkook—what the fuck did it say?”
“Jimin isn’t listed as your soulmate. You don’t have anyone listed”
Your throat felt dry. “What?”
“You were in the placebo cohort”
You stared at him. The placebo cohort. Meaning—what?
“I’m sorry, Y/n”
“No there’s some other explanation” You shook your head, “Jimin and I had a rough start but. He’s kind. Dedicated. He’s had a rough go of it—I don’t know his story but I can just tell. He’s insightful, and isn’t afraid to challenge me. He understands me too, even in this short time. He’s sweet. And he wants me just as bad as I want him”
“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Jungkook looked appalled, “You’re delusional, Y/n. He said he didn’t want you, explicitly. He’s lied to you many times,”
“The chip doesn’t alter our emotions, it only gives us the signal. I know what I feel Jungkook—it has to be him”
“Placebo cohort’s get the signal, but the compatibility test wasn’t actually run so it’s signaling that some random person you’re not actually compatible with is your soulmate. To see if the computability part actually matters, or if simply thinking someone is your soulmate is enough”
It couldn’t be. You felt nauseous, as though everything around you was spinning. Time and time again Jimin had told you to back off. That what you were feeling wasn’t real when you believed so strongly it was. Nothing about it made sense.
Suddenly Jimin’s flaws glared at you—he was in the resistance, fighting against the very peace you upheld. He was a violent person. He hung out with shady people in banned places. He broke rules which you followed no matter what. He smoked. He rode a motorcycle. He didn’t believe you were his soulmate—and you weren’t.
But you loved him.
And he, probably, loved you too.
Was the placebo effect real then? Did you fall in love just because you thought you were supposed to? If you never had the signal—never had the chip—would you have been able to look past your differences, and find what you did?
He had only just begun to believe. This would crush him.
“You have to tell him” Jungkook echoed your thoughts. You frowned, he was clearly deriving some joy from the fact that he was right about Jimin.
“Does this mean someone else out there is actually my soulmate? More compatible with me than Jimin?”
“Most likely” Jungkook confirmed, “Only way to know is to reset your chip. And only Dr. Kim himself can do that”
You turned to your calendar. The conference was only a few days away. What were you supposed to tell Jimin in the meanwhile? Should you avoid seeing him? Should you ignore this and just love him anyway?
“I-I gotta go” You scrambled to gather your things. Rushing to take a bus home, you barged into your apartment. Eyes wide as you noticed the entire place had been cleaned up. Nose twitching to the scent of something cooking—something delicious.
Jimin smiled warmly upon seeing you. You had left before he woke up, leaving him sound asleep with a kiss on the cheek.  
“Morning doctor” He continued to go about his cooking. He looked adorable, sleepy hair and shirtless, cracking eggs into a pan. You wanted to cover him with kisses, “Hope you don’t mind, just thought I’d whip up some food. Aren’t you supposed to be at the lab?”
“I, yeah I uh”
“Oh taste this” Jimin took a spoon of some sauce he had made and quickly made his way over to you. Slipping the spoon in your mouth, your eyes widened as flavor burst in your mouth.
“Jimin” You mumbled as he took the spoon out, stealing a quick kiss. “Fuck that’s so spicy Jimin”
“Not your thing, doctor?” He pouted, “Damn, I love spicy food”
Your heart dropped. He’s not your soulmate. You’re not compatible.
He seemed to notice your unusual behavior.
“Hey baby, it’s okay. It’s just food preferences, not the end of the world”
“Jimin, we’re” You cleared your throat. “We’re not—”
“Oh, are you upset that I’m still here? Don’t worry I have class in the afternoon, I’ll be out of your way” Grabbing your hands he pulled you into a hug. Swaying your body left to right, you wanted to melt.
“Jimin” Your voice was breaking. Tears welling in your eyes.
“I know we don’t have everything figured out baby” He hummed against you. Pressing his lips on top of your head, “But for once, I think, I believe it’ll work out”
You broke.
Shattered into tears. You couldn’t possibly do this to him, not after everything you already put him through. How the hell were you supposed to tell the man you’d chased relentlessly that you weren’t supposed to be together?
“Baby,” Jimin held your face in his hands, searching with concern “Y/n, what’s wrong?”
You couldn’t breathe. Sobs blocking your air. Chest tight.
“Hey, easy baby” Jimin held your hand, guiding you to sit down on your bed. He knelt down by your side. Pressing his lips onto your knuckles. Across your wrist.
The odds were unlikely. But there was a slim chance that despite being a placebo match, he may actually still somehow be compatible with you. He may still be your real soulmate. You should wait until you knew for sure. 
“I’m okay, sorry I just, got emotional” You wiped your tears away, chuckling. Jimin didn’t look like he quite believed you, but decided not to push it.
“Don’t apologize, doctor” He kissed your knee, “As long as you’re okay”
“Jimin”
“Yeah baby?”
“No matter what happens,” You sniffled, “I believe in you”
Jimin chuckled, stroking your face, “Babe what has gotten into you? Did Jungkook say something—I can beat that fucker to a pulp if he did, I am a vigilante after all”
You smiled. Because the man in front of you was dazzling. Despite the fights. Despite your differences. If this wasn’t true love, you weren’t sure you wanted whatever that was. This was all you needed. He was all you needed.
Which is why you owed it to him to be honest.
“We’re not actually soulmates”
Jimin simply blinked.
“It was a placebo, where the chip signals but we aren’t actually compatible. So the basis for everything we felt—or everything we think we feel, was a lie”
Silence. So haunting and so obscenely loud, you weren’t sure you’d survive it.
series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
a/n: HOPE YOU ENJOYED <3 i tried lmao, but plsssssss let me know what you think ive never written anything like this and wanna know what your reactions are!!! ask questions, give me your theories, any and all of it! <3 have a wonderful day cuties~
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jjkgyu · 2 years
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Hey I love your work so much !! I might be new to your page but I already can’t get enough 😂. Is it alright if you do Jimin from BTS as a dad ? That would be amazing !!
i appreciate that so much!! thanks so much for your request - this was so fun to write and i hope u enjoy it!! xx
DAD!BTS: jimin as a first time dad ♡
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jimin is ready for a baby right after marriage. he loves being your husband, but he just can’t wait to be the father of your babies and have little ones running around.
when you find out you’re pregnant, jimin doesn’t want to leave your side even for a second. he’ll walk with his arm on your lower back at all times and won’t let you do anything that could possibly strain yourself.
the day his daughter is born, jimin can’t stop the tears as he gently holds his little girl in his arms for the first time, stroking her soft face and telling her that he was going to do everything in his power to protect her.
although he had tried to prepare for fatherhood, jimin wings it half the time. but very early on he already seems to be a natural, sensing when his little girl is about to cry and somehow always understanding what she needs.
parenthood is all about teamwork with jimin. since he stays up later than you, he’ll let you rest and take care of your daughter when she cries during the night, and you’ll let him sleep in and take care of her in the mornings.
his favourite sight when he wakes up is walking into the kitchen to see you having breakfast next to your baby girl in her high chair as you chat to her and she babbles back. jimin stands in the doorway for a few minutes with a warm smile on his face as his heart melts at how cute his little family is.
your daughter is a daddy’s girl from the day she’s born. she always wants to be in his arms, and will only stop crying when she see’s jimin’s face. you’ll often find yourself frantically facetiming him throughout the day with an upset baby in your arms just so she can calm down.
jimin takes his daughter with him everywhere in her little stroller. she loves going with him to parks and cafes and picnics and even to his work where all his members coo over how cute she is.
he’s obsessed with squishing her cheeks and making her laugh is his favourite sound ever. you’ll often come home after a long day to find him lying with her on her play mat, making her giggle for hours.
of course your baby’s first word is ‘dada’, which jimin never stops bragging about. he’s be so proud that he even calls all his friends and family just to prove it.
jimin definitely cries when she takes her first steps. he’s so proud of his little girl on such a milestone and he immediately whips out his phone to send videos of his little girl wobbling around to his friends and family.
jimin is the type of dad to record everything. his entire camera roll is full of his daughter and she loves posing for the camera with different cute poses that jimin teaches her. he would definitely have her as his phone background at all times.
even though he loves spending time with his daughter, jimin makes sure to have dates nights with you often because you both rarely have time for each other in your hectic days. he makes sure to shower you in compliments and he holds your daughter in his arms asking her, “how pretty is mama?” while you’re getting ready, to which your daughter babbles back.
he’s very protective of her and worries about her a lot. even when his members offer to have your daughter over for a sleepover, he wants to know what she’s doing every moment and wants to call her every second to make sure she’s okay without him.
she’s got jimin wrapped around her finger too. he gets on his hands and knees to check under her bed for monsters every single night, and he’s the type of dad to drive half an hour back home if she calls him crying because he forgot to give her a goodbye hug.
as your daughter gets older, jimin really loves her showing pictures or the two of you when you were younger, everything from photos from your first date to your wedding videos.
his daughter grows up to be a lot like him. she rarely gets in trouble, and she’s definitely a high achiever in school which jimin is so proud of. jimin is her biggest supporter, and he’s the type to throw a party the day she becomes class president in elementary school.
he’s best friends with all the teachers and other parents, and all of his daughter’s friends love him too. jimin wants to be very involved with her studies and even stays up late at night with his daughter when she needs to finish a project.
overall, jimin would be such a supportive dad who would make his daughter his entire world🤍
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outrogi · 10 months
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laura's jimin recs
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I’ve been reading fics in here nonstop way before I started this blog. It felt like a sin not compiling a list of some of the stories that I loved and hadn’t gotten around to sharing yet, a few of them safe in my drafts until I was ready to make this.
I will keep on adding onto this list as I keep finding stories I've read before and would love to share with you. Leave some love and appreciation to the authors if you can!
disclaimer: all stories that include mature themes will be labeled accordingly. DNI if you aren’t 18+
♡ - favorite
S E R I E S
raise the barre by @kpopfanfictrash ♡ ◦ dancers au, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, smut
lovely demons by @kpopfanfictrash ♡ ◦ fantasy au, enemies to lovers, prince of hell jimin, angst, smut
of stars erased by @fantasybangtan ◦ dystopian au, angst, smut
catch your drift by @snackhobi ◦ street racer au, rivals to lovers, smut, fluff
p[ass]enger from hell by @dovechim & @jimlingss ◦ airport au, enemies to lovers, humor, fluff
what's a soul really worth, anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth ♡ ◦ magic au, mxm jikook, demon au, angst, fluff, smut
O N E - S H O T S
equinox by @crystaljins ◦ king of spring jimin, queen of winter reader, light angst, fluff
sololiquy by @kinktae ♡ ◦ angel jimin, spin-off, light angst, fluff
neon seoul by @readyplayerhobi ◦ cyberpunk detective jimin, angst, smut, light fluff
quid pro quo by @fantasybangtan ◦ lawyer au, smut
note #1: if any fic recommended is in hiatus, the author has yet to update or left altogether, please do not pester them with updates.
note #2: These are not all of my PJM recs! There’s more with extensive commentary from me here and you can find more of my favorites here
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thekaykery · 3 months
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Chimni
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Ruler: Park Jimin
Crystal: Aquamarine
Capital: Quamari (qua-mar-ree)
Society
Like Sugaru, Chimni also closely follows Armi, keeping the Continent safe with ancient magic the Seers possess. It is a common practice to bless newborns with Armi's luck to let fate guide them as they grow. The people of Chimni are lucky because of this, which sometimes gets them into trouble when visiting other countries. Chimnians are positive and hopeful, a little stubborn too. Peace and harmony are the foundations of every household. The youth are respectful towards their elders. They keep the youth in check, which is why violence is a rare occurrence. Chimni is additionally a popular vacation spot. Its glittering cities and delightful scenery draw people in from other countries and lands, as it is a wonderful place to live out one's golden years.
Economy
Chimni profits from ore in the mountains, such as silver, copper, steel, and iron. The main treasure, however, are the precious gems within the caves. Aquamarine, diamond, and emerald are the 3 native crystals. They are sent out to jewelers and craftsmen across the Continent. There is another crystal as well. It is rare and can be found deep within Chimni's lakes: Omala. It is said to have healing properties. Freshwater fish is another source of income, in addition with grain and livestock.
Environment & Climate
Since Chimni is about halfway through the Continent, it experiences all kinds of weather: Heavy rain, high winds, scorching heat. An occasional winter storm will blow through from Joonia and Kooju. For most of the year, Chimni is gently warm with momentary cold flashes. Mountains and forests are littered across Chimni, lakes and rivers mapping the land. In northern Chimni, the soil is brittle and dry because of the cold. Further south, it is moist and fertile.
Jimin as High Seer
Background
Born to a human mother and High Fae father, Jimin did not have a nice childhood. He was often mocked, called “halfbreed” and “impure.” Because of this, Jimin struggled with his self-esteem and confidence growing up. He began loving himself for who he is in the early part of his first century of life. Losing his mother was incredibly tough. When his father tired of ruling Chimni, Jimin took the helm and became High Seer. The adjustment was difficult. Most of the fae turned their backs on him. The humans, however, loved him, thankful that their new leader understood them. His mother, nicknamed Mother of the Seer, is often included in their prayers. They are grateful to her for blessing the country with a half-human ruler.
Personality
Jimin is a kind and gentle soul. His relationship with his people is important to him. Though his connections with the fae are tenuous, Jimin is close with his human subjects. These are his mother’s people. Jimin is eternally thankful they accepted him. He can be mischievous at times, and his teasing can get him into trouble. He is handsome, and Jimin wields it to his advantage, alluring women and flustering men alike. He is headstrong and brave. Jimin is close with High Priest Yoongi of Sugaru. Yoongi is Armi’s direct voice, and Jimin occasionally receives visions from her. Some are vague; others are clear. Due to Jimin’s gift, this allows Chimni and Sugaru to have a dexterous relationship.
Hierarchy of the Seers
High Seer/Seeress
Seer/Seeress
Novice
Acolyte
Strongest branches of militia
Although the Continent is at peace, each country has prepared forces ready for battle. These forces are for external invasion rather than internal. Chimni's strongest battalion is the aria (airforce). Since a small portion of Chimni is shared with the sea, it is an unlikely place of intrusion. Air patrols are vital to the safety of Chimni and its people.
Religion
Like Sugaru, Chimnians mainly practice armina. This is most common in human households. Other religions – catallia, jedwa, ismala, and lukana – are also present and practiced. The fae previously worshiped Armi, but after her death, they stopped and forgot her.
Important locations
Will be added
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thekaykery © 2023
portrait done by @winterofherdiscontent
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vinetae · 1 year
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jimin thinks y/n can’t commit to him and that’s not the truth at all - !Part 2!
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➺ pairing; park jimin x reader 
➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse! Hurt/comfort, Hurt/no comfort, Shame, Guilt, Anger, (Jimin and Y/n infuriate me so much omg, just like fuck already guys), [f.] Masturbation, soft moments, cuddles, memories, sad reader, ANGST ANGST ANGST AND OH YEAH, ANGST, hinted sex, cunillingus, 
➺ wordcount; 10k
➺ summary; After your final words with Jimin, everything just comes tumbling down. Will fate pull you two back together? Or will the strings of life finally break what was always meant to sever..
A/n: Requested by @chimmy-licious
I DON’T OWN THIS FIC IDEA. This was originally a request to complete a series which had not been updated in three years. I don't claim the idea, nor the first part of this little work. Credit to the original author; @jungshookz
(However, this second part is mine so please do not copy, translate, modify, or repost this anywhere without MY permission to do so.)
With that said, enjoy!
Part 1 - (credit to @jungshookz)
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
You had ended up falling asleep on your sofa, body molded around a certain wine Jimin had been saving for your one year anniversary. Lips cracked, nose running, with about a thousand puffs tissues surrounding your worn-out figure. 
You’d been hoping this was some kind of bad dream. 
A reality your internalized anxiety had caused. 
That you’d wake up from this nightmare to see the man you love, passed out peacefully on your full sized bed. Watching as the sun’s morning rays beam down, cracking through the half-way blinds pulled down, illuminating bits and pieces of his baby-like features. His chest, rising and falling in patterns, that had become your lullaby. 
To him throwing an arm sleepily across your figure when you go to kiss his cheek goodbye for the morning, heading out to your early single run session. His mouth parting slightly, strings of protests and soft moans exile, convincing you to not go. 
To stay a little longer. 
“Mmmm, not yet.” He lets out a soft groan, pulling you by the waist back down, until you’re flushed against his body. The point of his chin resting atop your apex, as soft rises of his chest drag your body back down into a sleep. Your lips curve into a gentle smile, trying to wiggle your way out of his arms. Yet, all of the weekends he’d spent at the gym prior to your relationship had still been paying off. 
Now, his weekends only belong to you.
The tears had seemed like an endless river, rushing down to greet the next new paths of its journey. Cheeks puffed and red, as you stand to discard the late night’s binge evidence, and sob session helpers. Everywhere you turned, had been a bitter reminder of the previous night. The small heater that had busted last winter, where you had to curl up in the living room, surrounded by piles of blankets to keep warm, while watching a screened fireplace crackle on your flat screen TV. The digitized embers mocked your broken wallet, and snowed in selves. However, even with the bite of a blizzard’s pearly whites, and a broken heating system, it had become the best few days of Christmas break. 
Tucking himself back in between the comfort of your body and the blankets, his arms tug around your figure, pulling you closer to him to keep warm. The two mugs of hot-chocolate he’d carried along with him on the two feet walk from your kitchen to the living room, had almost killed him. 
However, it’s like his body was set on fire when your head turned, flashing him a warming smile at the sight of the delicious drinks. The white specs lay in your eyes, symbolizing hope. Hope in this winter day passing..
Hope in you lasting.
You suck in a deep breath, taking a look around the clutter of your apartment. Moving boxes stuffed into the corner, while a few furniture pieces had still not yet been unwrapped from their bubble packaged blankets. Your eyes trails across the empty room, memories of the two of you flooding your mind. The first cooking dinner date you had in the kitchen, your first board game night..
Your first..
His leg kicks the door shut. Arms wrapped around your delicate figure, as he unconsciously guides the two of you to the back of your couch’s arm. Knees buckle under the weight, allowing yourself to fall back into the comfort of your sofa. His body towers you, tips of his fingers trailing up the plains of your torso. A small grin tugs his corner lip. 
“May I?” 
With a soft nod, he’s quick to discard the piece of thin fabric. What had started off as a calming walk in the park, hands intertwined as you pointed out the various colors among the busy streets..
Had led to a late morning practice confession. 
You could still feel the lingering of his touch. The way he used to gently caress the top of your head. When you’re cooking, reading ..
.. Making love.
The broad of his shoulders doubles over your own, legs lifting to wrap around his torso. The gentle rock of his hips into yours, the intimate eye contact, had made the moment that much more special. You could feel the warmth of something sliding up to hold onto your hand. Weightful movements, with staggered breaths brought you that much closer to the ending of your beginning. 
“Fu-fuck..” He moans, plush lips parting as the sweat of his brow drips down the side of his face. Your hands reach out, carding your fingers through his damp locks, as your head leans up, capturing his lips in a soft exchange. 
“Y-Y/n..” Letting out sharp breaths, the roll of his hips against yours lulls you into an erotic, passionate spell. His movements had just as much grace and precision as his routines did. As if he’d been crafted from the gentle sway of a tree’s moves himself. You could feel the tensing of his biceps above you, as his face lowers down to press butterfly-like kisses along the paths of your chest. Lips lingering on the erect bud of your breast, his tongue grazing across the surface of your skin, eyes glancing up to lock onto yours. 
You’d never seen someone look at you the way he had..
Your feet unconsciously guide you down the small corridor of your apartment. Fingertips dragging along the chipped and worn out wall’s memories. The tears you’d thought you’d ridden yourself of, coming back to play a taunting and tortuous melody. As if they’d wanted you to be in this much pain.. Your hands reach the small picture frames along the small of your hallway’s little nightstand in the corner. Framed photographs and polaroid pictures sat along the surface’s flat, as you admired the little contents and reminiscences. 
Truly, if walls could talk..
“Really Y/n!” His voice echoes down the empty hall, as you take to lean against the wall’s turn corner. He’d been so set on this idea for so long. Your hands gently hold up a small mug of coffee you’d made in the morning. 
“I.. don’t really know what you mean.” Jimin lets out a huff of frustration, turning on his heel to face your figure. Lips turning down into a short pout. 
“I just.. We’ve been together for some time now, and all of the pictures we take when we go places..” You lips the small mug to your lips, taking a minor sip of the hot liquid’s content. Tonguing on the idea he’d been advocating so passionately for the last ten minutes. 
“Well, we just don’t really go anywhere.. Besides, Why would I display us here-” You motion to the empty nightstand top, “instead of there?” pointing to your bedroom’s entrance. Jimin’s lips don’t open to counter, but the pout still remains. After a few seconds of silence, you let out a sigh, setting the mug down on the counter. Arms coiling around his somber figure, pulling his body closer to your own. Your head buried deep into his chest, as you finally let out. 
“You’re right.. I just-” You pull away to glance up at him. “Wouldn’t it look weird to my friends if they saw me posing with our dance instructor?” He’s hesitant to pull away, leaving your embrace for the chilling emptiness of alone’s instead. Back turned, as he goes to pick up the set of keys he’d always lay on the little fruit bowl you’d bought from a consignment shop prior to moving in three years ago. 
“Jimin?” 
Clicking on the door evicts the hopeful silence. 
You hadn’t seen him again for another three days after that. Miss Im had to cover for his classes at the studio, though she hadn’t explained why. It wasn’t until almost the fifth night that your phone had gone off during a marathon of reality TV that no one really watches anymore. Swiping up, your phone unlocks, displaying the new message. 
[New message ]
Unknown: Come outside.
You: Who is this?
Unknown: You’ll see.
Yeah.. that’s not murderous at all..
You: I’m not listening to a stranger.
Unknown: Party pooper, Y/n.. 😔
You: Who is this?
Unknown: Your boyfriend who’s about to bust down your door lug you over my shoulder and kidnap you if you don’t come down 😈
[Typing.. ] Jimin? Why are yo-
Wait.. this might be a trap..
[Typing..] How aggressive.. I still don’t know who this is.
[Send?] 🗹
 You: How aggressive.. I still don’t know who this is.
Read: 9:54PM
It wasn’t long until you heard a banging against your apartment door. 
Great. This is where you die. 
You always thought you could escape the killer psychopath movies, because you’re obviously smarter than those characters.
Soon, you hear the jiggling of the key in the lock, forcing your door open. 
_
“I told you I’d bust down this door if- why are you holding a lamp?” His head tilts to the side, chuckling softly at your defense position. You’d grabbed the closest thing to you..
Which ended up being the lamp your grandmother had gifted you a year ago. 
“I.. uh-” You quickly set the object down, clearing your throat. “Y-You were acting like a serial killer! Why did you text me from a random number anyways?!” 
Jimin lets out a chuckle, making a b-line towards your guarded figure, still slightly gripping the couch’s end for support. “Sorry.. I forgot to tell you. I dropped my phone in the toilet when I was brushing my teeth. Had to get a new one.” He pulls the small mobile from his jeans pocket, giving proof to his story. The small, sleeked blackened case had allured the cellphone with a mysterious aura. His eyes trail along the grip you had kept on the sofa, tugging a smile on his lips. 
“Damn.. what I wouldn’t give to be a couch..” He chuckles, grabbing your hand to lead you out the doorway before you could protest. 
“Jimin what are we-” 
“Shh..” He stops, facing his torso to catch your eyes. You look down, noticing a black, silk dangling in his grasp. 
“Do you trust me?” 
_
His hand slips into yours, as you’re being blindly led through a maze of foreign objects in which you had no idea what had been. Some felt like bushes and a few trees, others felt like different types of people. You could definitely hear the sounds of the city. Loud honks, blaring music, booming radios and more. Until suddenly, it just-
“Okay, we’re here..” He slowly removes the blindfold, as your eyes adjust to the newly dimmed lighting. Once there’d been no more pain from the sudden exposure, your heart drops at the sight. 
You were in the dance studio. 
The lights had been dimmed, with a soft, pink glow illuminating in the foreground. Jimin takes a few steps backwards, clicking a small button from the little remote in his hand. Suddenly, a twinkle of sparkling glows lit up the whole studio, making the mirror reflect ten times as much as the small practice room had been. It had looked like an endless fairytale, in which you never wanted to leave. 
Soon, you felt his hands slip into yours. His chocolatey irises bare down, taking your gaze as a sign for speech. 
“I know I might not be good at the whole ‘love’ thing..” 
“Mhm, maybe not.” You tease. His eyes roll, slightly squeezing your hands in his. 
“You’re not so good yourself, miss I’m-a-love-expert” You giggle, hitting his arm softly in response. “That was one time, let it go!” 
His lips part slightly, chuckling at your retort. “Okay okay.. Letting go. So back to what I was saying-” 
“You were saying how talented and awesome I am.” You grin slightly, hoping he’d take the bait. 
“Yes I was- wait what?” 
“Nothing.” 
His eyebrow raises in question, but continues on. 
“Well it was along those lines but..” He takes a deep breath. “I know we might not be good at this whole love thing.. and we are both pretty stubborn..” 
“No I’m not.” 
“Yes you are.” 
“Am not.” 
“Are too!” 
“Am not.” 
“Y/n! This is being stubborn!” His voice raises above the little classical music you’d creating a routine for the past few weeks, for the upcoming performance. A smile brushes your lips, as you put your hands up in surrender.
“Alright alright.. I’m sorry. Please, continue.” 
“Okay. as I was saying -” He sends you a side eye. 
You giggle. 
“I know we’re both good at one thing.” His grasp pulls you to the center of the room, as he plugs in his new Iphone from the sidelines. A snazzy, emotional classic comes over the speakers, as he reaches out his hand for an offer. 
Your eyebrow raises. “Bickering?” 
His eyes roll, shaking his head. “You’re something, I swear..” 
You take his offered hand, chuckling at your accomplishment. “Not really.” Your bodies move along slowly to the music, before he’s spinning you around gently, until you’re facing him directly. 
“It’s funny, seeing my dance teacher all pouty.” 
His arms wrap around your body, tugging you to him until your back is flushed with his chest. Breath-filled whispers trail along the planes of your neck, as his lips brush the shell of your ear lightly. 
“Well, I’m not your dance instructor right now..”
He twirls you out, pulling you back in, with your arms catching steady around his neck. His hands pressed into your hips, as your lips barely brush one another’s. His heavy breaths mixed with yours creates a certain type of potion, that seems to have you both under a heavy spell. 
You could barely find your voice, as you could hear the classical, emotional melody switch to something much more intense. A deep base, kicking snares, and an R&B melodic voice to drown out the worries of this world, putting all of your focus on the moment. You could barely get out two little words from the intensity of it all. 
“Kiss me.” 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
Once your apartment had looked -somewhat- decent, you checked the new notifications on your phone.
July 2nd, 7:30AM (5 minutes ago)
HYBE DANCE ACADEMY OFFICE OF ADMINISTRATIONS <[email protected]> to me 
Miss Y/N Y/L/N, 
This is your two-hour reminder email, along with a text message that will be sent to you for the consultation with the Dean set at 9:30AM (July 2nd),  today. Please remember to bring your Student ID with you. The closing window for any cancellations has now ended. 
Thank You.
HYBE DANCE ACADEMY, Office of Administrations
You close out the email, tossing your phone across the room to let it land on the bed. Deciding to take a quick shower before the meeting, you drop the rest of your clothes to the floor, reaching past the glass door of your shower, turning the faucet on. As the stream fills the room slowly, your head is dragged back to its bitter-sweet reminiscences. 
The sound of giggles and laughs could be heard through the echoing walls of your apartment. The bathroom mirror and glass door had become too fogged up due to the humidity. 
And.. maybe something else..
“Oh my god” Your head lulls back, thigh twitching is response as Jimin’s tongue flattened against your aching clit, his free hand reaching upwards to cup one of your breasts. Your hand tugs at his dampened locks, fingernails trailing along his scalp in the process. Plush lips wrapped around the soaking flesh between your legs, as the thigh that had been thrown over his shoulder tenses from his motions. After a few seconds, his eyes glance up to make sure everything’s okay. 
He secretly pats himself on the back for such a responsive look from you. Your hair messily flipped to the side, as a stream of water flows down the entirety of your body, lips jarring open as he watches the sharp rise and fall of your chest slow its rate. Eyes blown out beyond imagination, as you too had noticed his gaze. 
His body rises up to tower over yours once again, a smirk pressing his lips.
“Earth to Y/n~” He teases. 
Your eyes lull back, before reluctantly coming back to reality. His hands trail up your skin, leaning his head down to capture your lips in a heated exchange. Before you know it, you’re hoisted up against the fogged glass wall, the squishy tip of his cock pressing at your entrance, begging for permission. In a few movements, he’s easily slipping past your velvety walls, making your mouth cry out a fit of moans. 
“Fuck..” Your head falls backwards, hand embarrassingly stuffed between the space of your thighs as your finger rubs figure eights against your aching clit. Your free hand clasps to cover your mouth, muffling the shameful noises that exile with every movement of your chest. You could almost hear the desperation in his voice, the closer you’d become to your climax. His raspy morning voice.. The slight growl he’d developed when he too had been reaching his limit.. The whine he exasperated every time you’d clenched around his throbbing cock. 
Just to feel it one last time. To have his dancer-graced, heaven-sent hips slamming into your own.. In a passionate way of course. His hands sporadically trailing all over your body.. lips, as if drinking in all that you had offered, hadn’t been enough to satiate his thirst for you. 
Mind replaying every intimate scene you’d ever had with him. The late night, relationship booty-calls because one of you was too fucking horny to wait until the weekend when you’d see one another. Every position he’d ever put you in. All the times at the dinner table he’d just absolutely destroyed your pussy with just two fingers, while catching up with the Kardashians, until you’d become a whiny, fucked out bitch. 
“J-Jimin.. Oh f-fuck! Jimin!” Your screams had become nothing more than an unanswered prayer. All of the memories, being forcefully replayed in your mind like how a psychopath would torture their victims with playing the same move over and over until they too, go insane. 
And insane you were. 
Your legs had been on the verge of giving in. The joints in your fingers, which had been helping in letting out all of your frustrations, had begun faltering. Your chest staggered in breaths you didn’t even know you had. Practically mauling your lip for just some sort of relief. Begging for this to never end, but just wanting it to. 
Then, your mind really fucked with you. 
Images of the kiss Jimin and Nayeon had shared, flooded your mind. 
Soon, all of the sweet, intimate moments that had been yours.. Were stolen away with Nayeon’s face. Of her cuddling up with Jimin on the couch.. Of Jimin dancing with her in the dark late at night in the studio, as his apology. 
That stupid fucking kiss!
“FUCK!” You yell out, removing your hand in hatred. Quick to finish up your shower, you throw on the clothes you’d laid out along with the leotard and a scrunchie wrapped around your wrist for class later that day. 
If you even went to class..
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
Your leg tapped nervously against the corridor’s marbled flooring. The halls are so large in comparison to your tiny apartment. Your finger toyed with the little string dangled from the hem of your t-shirt, before a lady wearing a pantsuit had stepped into sight. 
“Miss Y/n?” 
If the halls had been decorated, the Dean’s office had been absolutely decked out. Framed photos of colleagues and the Dean in his younger days, sprawled all over the walls. Trophies of winning champions and teams of the Academy displayed in what seemed like a thousand glass cases. 
“Miss Y/n?” 
The Dean’s voice pulls you from your train of thoughts. “Ah, yes.” His hand motions towards the seat in front of him, as you hesitantly obey.A few clicks of his computer later, and he’s spinning slightly to the side to face you across his desk. “So, what seems to be the issue here?” 
“Well I-” 
He types on the computer, clicking his mouse while pulling up something. “Seems like you’ve been doing an excellent job here at the academy.” 
“Well yes, sir. I’ve been-”
“Practicing very hard, I see. So, are you ready for competition this year? They say it’s going to be just as difficult as nationals.” Your eyes widen. You hadn’t even thought of the possibility of getting into the top ranks. 
“I.. what?” 
His eyes squint, before tilting his computer to the side for you to check. “Seems like you’ve been placed at the top of the roster. By..” 
Please don’t say it, please don’t say it. 
“Mister.. Park?” 
Fuck.
You could feel the tears welling up in your ducts, having to push down any signs of the uncomfortable you felt while hearing his name, instead deciding to replace it with a light chuckle instead. 
“Ah, yes. He’s my mentor.” 
The Dean smiles, nodding. “One of our best. Well, besides Nayeon.” He leans forwards, flashing a smile. “Let me tell you, Y/n. It takes a lot of dedication and work to get where Naeyon is at. Why, I remember when she first joined the academy-” 
“Uhm, I actually wanted to discuss something..” 
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Ah, I seem to have lost my head. I’m sorry, Y/n. I know you’re not here to hear me gloat about our best female instructor.” You nod, pushing down the urge to frankly;
Punch the shit out of him, and Nayeon. 
He types on the computer, before turning the screen back to him. “So, what did you like to discuss?” 
“Well I’d like to-” 
Just then, the door cracks, a head peeking inside quietly. “Sorry to interrupt, Mister Broushe but I was wondering when the papers would be sig-”
Fuck. 
Fuck. 
FUCK.
“Y/n..?”
“Ah.. Nayeon.”
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
“Oh.. I’m sorry. I can come back later-” 
“No no.” The Dean protests, motioning over his desk. “Come, sit. We were actually just talking about you.” Nayeon’s eyes set across yours, silently asking if it’s okay to sit next to you. 
“Really?” She questions, taking a seat hesitantly. 
The Dean nods, smiling. “Our star instructor, and student of 2016.”
Nayeon’s cheeks heat up slightly, turning her head in embarrassment. A shy smile tugs her perfectly matte lips. “Ah.. come on.. Jimin was-  is such a better dancer than me.” 
The Dean claps his hands, laughing. “Ah! Always so humble, Nayeon. That’s why you’re our star!” 
Your hands clenched in your lap, tugging at the material of your t-shirt once more. 
She got the boy. 
She got the life. 
She got everything.
So why doesn’t she look fucking thrilled.
You suddenly stand up, not being able to take this Nayeon praise day. Your hands go to your sides, abruptly walking away from the whole situation. Nayeon rises as well, trailing after you. 
“Y/n, wait!” She’s quick to catch up, as you grudgingly turn to face her with a fake smile plastered across your cheeks. 
She smiles, propping herself back up in an attempt to catch her breath. “I’m so sorry for interrupting your session.. I was just coming in to get a few papers for the stuff Jimin and I have to fill out.” 
“Oh? What are they?” 
Maybe a fucking restraining order. 
Her lips curve upwards into a smile. “They’re for competition.” She leans forwards, lowering her voice. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to be sharing this but.. You got placed at the top.” 
Your eyebrow raises. What’s the big deal with this whole roster thing anyways?
“What.. does that mean?” You faint curiosity. 
She giggles, rising up to straighten out her posture. “It means that you got the most spotlight for our performances!” 
Okay, now you’re confused.
“It’s not.. Making sense.” 
Her eyes roll playfully, shoving your side gently. “You’ll be doing most of the choreography to represent the Academy! I’ll be teaching you one or two of my own, but Jimin’s the lead instructor for the competition.” Her eyebrows lower, tilting her head to the side. “Are you.. Not happy?” 
Your head shakes. “Huh? Oh, no! I’m so so so excited!” Your lips curve, but your eyes don’t smile along. You fake a few leaps of joy, before thanking her as you two head out of the building, in front of campus. 
She turns, bidding you a goodbye, as you’re left in front of the administration office, alone once again. 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
“One more time, Seulgi! And one, and two.. One and two one-” 
The auditorium door slams shut on accident, making your slip in for the class not such a slip in. His eyes fall onto your figure, before turning his head back to Seulgi’s moves. 
“Late again, Y/n?” 
You gulp, silently settling your stuff down into the audience seats, sliding down into one of them to hide yourself. You’d never heard his tone turn so cold before. Even with regular students, he’d always had some kind of light-hearted wisps in his voice. 
Towards you, it almost sounded like he had no heart left.
“Pst!-” A familiar voice slides beside you, making your head turn. Jungkook had sported some light-weight looking gray sweats, along with a loose fitting white t-shirt for flexibility. The brown, puppy-like curly locks had fallen into his vision, making him look that much more adorable. 
“Hey.. Why weren’t you in class yesterday? Or.. at all last week?”  You face the front, not needing another call-out from Gregory House over there. 
“Sorry I uhm.. Came down with something.” You lean to the side, still facing the front to get a better hearing of Jungkook’s response. “What’d I miss?” 
His voice lowers, shifting in his seat from your proximity. “Miss Nayeon came in last week, and they kept practicing the uh.. Kissing scene.”
You sit up, twisting your torso. “I thought she said that they’d cut it out..?” 
He shrugs, backing away slightly from your sudden tone. “I uhm- don’t know. But Mister park came in last week, super pissed. He was chewing out everyone, on every little thing. He even made Lisa do fourty push ups for not having a high enough Grand Jete..” 
Your eyes widen, locking onto Jimin’s straightened figure. His arms crossing over his chest, as he watches intently as Seulgi finishes her routine. You lean back, letting out a sigh. 
Just as the  music had stopped, Jimin’s- Mister Park’s voice echoed through the auditorium. 
“That’s enough. Lisa, you’ve gone. Seulgi, Jungkook, Mina, Jae-young.. Who hasn’t done “la danse du cygne’?”
Just before you’re about to sink further into your seat, Seulgi stands up abruptly. “Y/n has been absent the whole week, Mister Park.” 
Uh oh..
You could see a smirk hiding behind Jimin’s stone-cold look. He claps once, calling out. “Y/N Y/L/N, come up here.” You hesitantly stand, making your way across the large room as you pass by Seulgi, giving her a death glare. You set your stuff on stage in the back, before the spotlight is shining in your sight. 
“Since you’re going to be doing most of our routines, and representing the Academy, you need to be practicing even more. ‘se mettre en position’.” 
You’re quick to hurry to center stage, fixing your position as the music begins to play. Before you’re allowed to start moving, Jimin throws up a hand. 
“Stop.” 
The music dies, and the room is silent. Everyone turns in question of why he’d stopped before you even began your routine. You could hear the light-steps of his footwork making their way to where you were. As angry as he probably was, he’d still been light as a feather. 
“What is this.” His finger points to your feet. 
Your.. feet?
“It’s.. my feet.” He scoffs at your response, crossing his arms in annoyance. 
“I understand what feet are, Miss Y/n. However, apparently you don’t.” 
Your eyes roll mentally, shifting positions to a more comfortable form. “Ji-” 
His eyebrow raises, eyes motioning to the crowd of students who’d also been intensely invested in the scene. 
“Just.. my feet, ..sir.” 
He scoffs, lowering himself to the ground to fix your foot’s position. 
“Have you really been ignoring all of my teaching? The routine starts with your foot facing three o’clock. Not one, not two fifty-nine.” You whine slightly, feeling his grip tighten on your ankle, before he releases it. “Three.” 
He stands, straightening his back. His eyes burned icey cold daggered into your own, as if he’d been releasing all of his frustration and anger towards you.. On you. 
“If you can’t understand the simple terms of what you’re working for, then I don’t see a reason for you to even be on the roster, at all.” 
A short, hushed crowd of gasps echoes the room. Your eyes glare up to meet his cold ones. Not a reaction in sight. No pain..
It was like he was numb. 
“B-But I-” 
He turns his torso to face the crowd, raising his voice. “You see this, students? This is what you get when you sit on your ass all day. Uneducated, slothful, and selfish.” His hand grabs your own, throwing it up in the air for all of your classmates to see. His eyes glance over, seeing the tears starting to threaten to slip from your control. 
He releases your hand, watching as it swings slowly at your side. 
“Come back when you’ve learned the difference.” 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
Your body wouldn’t move. You couldn’t see anything, except the bright spotlight in your eyes, and Jimin’s ice cold glare. You tried sucking in a breath, convincing your body to move just a bit to save a little face..
But nothing. 
Your turn to the side, seeing no trace of the man you’d onced said the three hardest words to. Instead, anger and repulsion filled his eyes. Anger towards you. 
This.. was all your fault.
An arm is quick to tug you off the stage, pulling you down from everybody’s sights. The hand leads you through the auditorium doors, and down the halls until you’re finally catching up with reality. You glance up, seeing the fluffy, puppy-like boy guiding you through a sea of people on campus. 
“J-Jungkook?” He turns back, stopping in place to make sure you’re okay. 
“It’s okay, Y/n.. He’s been hard on everyone recently. It’s not your fault.” His bright, bunny smile makes you feel ten times worse. 
You’re the reason Lisa had to do fourty push ups. You’re the reason he’s so bitter and cold now. 
It’s all because of you.
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
The knock on your front door does no good in motivating you to get up. Ever since Jimin’s outburst in class two days ago, you’d done nothing but lay on your couch and watch The Walking Dead for the fourth time. The comfort and fluffiness of your throw blankets had a tugging sensation weighing on your emotions, begging you to stay with them. 
And that you did. 
Up until the door started banging, and a voice could be heard over the dying sounds of characters on your screen. 
“Y/n? Open up! We’ve got some serious talking to do!” 
Nayeon?
You slowly rise from the couch, dragging along the spilled empty ice cream container and spoon, sticking to the fuzz of your blanket, as you slowly crack open the door. 
Nayeon stood in the doorway, sporting a look that made her even more gorgeous than ever. Gold earrings minimizing the already small face she’d been blessed with. A black, lacy tea-length dress had adorned her perfectly built figure. A small clutch purse in her grasp, as she catches your eyes. 
“Can I come in?” 
_
She takes a few steps inside your apartment, not even having the energy to explain why it’s such a mess. She steps over the piles of dirty laundry you’d gone through in just a few days' length, along with the three tubs of napoleon ice cream to go alongside it all. 
“Uh.. wow. You’ve been uh.. Busy?” She takes a seat on the couch’s arm, crossing her legs in a feminine way. Your eyes mentally roll at the sight. She looked as if she’d been a mother fucking princess. 
Jimin had been her prince. 
And you? The ugly toad who never got kissed. 
“Yeah. Yeah, busy.. Sure.” You plop down onto the couch, grabbing the remote to pause your binge show. She turns to the side, scooting down to sit next to you. 
“Y/n.. I am so sorry for the way that Ji- Mister Park acted. He should have never done anything like that to you.. You’re.. You’re just a kid!” Her eyes pleaded and apologized, while yours sent her daggers. 
She chuckles lightly, backing herself up in words. “Ah.. let me rephrase that..” 
She takes your hands in hers, holding your eyes for a more realistic appease. “Y/n.. You’re so wonderfully talented and one of the best dancers I’ve ever seen! Well.. besides Jimin..” 
You nod, trying to push down the urge to choke the bitch out. You decide to let her speak. Feed your starving ego that Jimin had so kindly destroyed for you. 
She continues. “I just.. Well, he had a fall out with his girlfriend about a week ago.. So you must understand where he’s coming from..” 
Oh.. if you only knew. 
“Yeah.. I get it.” 
He sucks in a breath. “Still, he had no right in letting his personal affairs affect his abilities in mentoring. So.. I’ll be taking over his classes for the next two weeks, until he’s calmed himself down.” 
Oh, hell FUCKING NO.
“Ah, well I don’t really think that’s a good idea- I mean you already have your class and-” 
She stands up. “Nonsense! I’ll just combine the two classes, and we can all learn the routines. It’ll help if anyone forgets some steps. It’s perfect!” 
You stand up, finally letting it all go. “No, Miss Nayeon, It’s not! Combining all of the students would only cause stress among yourself! Not to mention how dance is Jimin’s only source of stress release! It’s his whole life! And for you to just come in and take it.. How.. HOW SELFISH YOU!” 
Your breath staggers. Heart racing the fastest it’s ever beat in these few days. Nayeon just stands there, shocked. His lips fall to try and find an answer, but she has no words to combat it. She reaches down to pull her clutch from the sofa, and steps away lightly. 
“It.. seems like I’ve come at a bad time. Uhm- I hope you feel better, Y/n..” She quickly makes her way out the door, before the halls echo back calmly. 
“Have a good night.” 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
However, your obvious outburst with your new instructor had done nothing but put a brick wall between the two of you. A sort of tension that would only happen if one felt absolutely terrified of the other. Nayeon only spoke to you to say hello or goodbye. All of the mistakes you’d made in your routines, she’d only waved it off and started the music again. 
Once she claps three times, class has been dismissed. As you're packing up the rest of your things to shove into your gym bag, you could overhear the voices of Seulgi and her little kiss-face minions gossiping in the corner. 
“So what do you think?” 
“I don’t know.. I mean maybe he got fired..” 
“Nayeon told us that he was just on vacation though..” 
“Ugh, wake up and smell the drama, Mina! He obviously got fired.” 
“No way.. But- Mister Park was the nicest teacher we’ve ever had!”
“Not to mention the hottest.” 
“Yeah, I just think he was having a rough week.” 
“Or maybe he fucked a student..” 
The plastic water bottle slipped from your hand, spilling all over the wooden sleek floors. You curse under your breath, quick to use the dry of your t-shirt as an absorbing pad, as you try and tune your ears back into the gossip section of class. 
“No way! No way! Mister Park isn’t a pedo!” 
“Well it’s either that or-” 
Suddenly the microphone echoes across the speakers, drowning out the rest of Seulgi’s sentence. 
“Alright class, thank you for coming today and, girls-” Nayeon turns her head to face the group of women huddled in the corner, acting as if they’d been sharing drugs instead of drama. 
“Let’s keep the gossip for the tabloids, okay? Great work everyone!”
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
Two days before the competition, everyone had been a mess. Nayeon was quick in helping you learn the rest of your last routine before D-Day. 
Although, your apartment didn't have the most spacious room for your practice. 
After about the fifth toe-stub of the night, you’d decided to sneak into the campus’s studio for some extra work to be done. 
Hand scaling the wall for a touch of a light switch which you knew was there, a sudden noise echoes through the large room. There stood a man entering from the front of the building, opposite to where you’d entered. A set of keys jiggle in his grip, as you bow slightly, quick to move out of the way. 
“I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t know that it was-” 
“Y/n?” 
Great. 
Here we go again. 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
The light’s empty beam gave no aid to the situation. Only, he hadn’t been able to see the hurt plain as day on your face, so you guess that’s a plus. 
He takes a step forwards, dropping his duffle bag next to the dance pads tucked away in the corner. Walking over to the stereo, he plugs in his phone, setting the small device down as a low melody starts to play. 
“I- I’m sorry I’ll just-” 
“Wait–” His voice stops your hurried feet, halting you at the exit. His familiar, light footsteps could be heard, even over the echoes and booms of the studio. It wasn’t until you could feel his presence about a foot away, when you felt the sting of tears threatening to present themselves so proudly. 
His voice is low and meek, not one you’d expect him to display after all that you two had been through. What you put him through. 
“I.. uh- I wanted to apologize. Even though we’re not.. Uhm.. together anymore, doesn’t mean that I should let my personal affairs affect the way of my teachings.” 
A somber chuckle exits your lips before you’re able to stop it. “You sound just like her..” 
His eyebrow raises, head tilting to the side. Feet inches a little closer. “Sounds like who?” 
You finally have the courage to spin around, now having your turn for a hot moment. “Nayeon. Your girlfriend.” 
His eyes widened, head shaking immediately. “W-What? N-No i’m not- Y/n I didn’t- Nayeon and I we’re just-” 
“You don’t have to explain your relationship status to me, Mister Park.”
Fuck. 
That hurt. 
Turning back on your heel, you make your way towards the exit. Before you could leave, a hand harshly grips onto your wrist, pulling you backwards further into the studio. Not having one second to oppose, he’s holding you right in front of him, keeping you in place. 
“Y/n, I don’t know how many times I have to say this. The kiss Nayeon and I did for the performance was unscripted! I told her to cut it out of the play, but she didn’t listen! It was just a kiss, in which I didn’t return.” 
You could feel the tears streaming down your reddened cheeks. Fuck. You didn’t want to cry in front of your ex like this. You’re not some weak, stupid girl who doesn’t know how to control her emotions. 
“But you did! You did kiss her back! And it’s because you still LOVE HER!” 
His voice over powers yours one last time, having even the music halt itself in his presence. “I was ACTING. I DON’T LOVE, NAYEON, I LOVE YOU, Y/N!” 
You stop struggling in his arms, and let out one sentence that shatters his heart into a million pieces. 
“And how d-do I know.. That you weren't acting.. with me..?” 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
D-Day. Competition. The one. 
Whatever it’s called, it’s finally come. The day where everyone gets ready in their little tutus and tiaras, pretending to have emotions they don’t feel. Pretending to be someone they’re not. 
It’s all just pretend. 
“We’ve got Seulgi, Mina, Chris, Jungkook, Yum-ni, Y/n, and Lisa.” The stage instructor tells everyone where and when they’ll go on to perform after each team and individual performance. Your eyes linger on the black curtain concealing over five-thousand people behind it. All who are waiting patiently, who paid a good sum of money to see beautiful swans and princes dance. 
With all of the makeup, hairspray, and fancy garments on, you’d felt like a princess. 
In reality, you felt like a piece of shit. 
The night before, you’d left Jimin standing in the studio, with his own thoughts, Regrets, and maybe a few mumbled sorries your way. With anything you left him with, you’d been gone with the wind. By the time you’d gotten back home to your apartment, you crashed. The sofa is doing too well of a job pulling you into a much needed slumber.
The next day.. Well, today, you’d gotten up even earlier to start preparing. Practicing your footwork on the way to the academy, slowly and carefully going over each step in the five of your routines you’d been assigned. You glance down at your pointed toes, letting out a big breath of air at the memory of Jimin’s harsh words. 
Selfish.. Lazy.. stupid.
You shake away the hindrances, stepping out onto the sidewalk. Even with as many steps and dance moves you performed while on your way to morning practice, you still couldn’t shake off the feeling you had in your gut. His words toying with your emotions.. Not to mention your own intrusive thoughts aiding in the tug back of the own confidence you barely had.
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
“Alright, Seulgi, it's your time. Center stage, and you’ll be performing-” 
“Papillons, I know I know.” Her voice visibly annoyed the man. 
“No. They mixed up the schedule. You’ll be performing ‘Stars In The Eyes’.” Speaking of eyes, hers roll up and to the side, groaning in frustration. “Ugh, why’d they cut mine short??” 
“I’ll explain later. Go!”
The dancers backstage were allowed to admire the performer’s dances through the flat screen complimented in each dressing room. Your leg props up against the counter, bending over to slide on your white tights up. 
Glancing up towards the clocking ticking on the wall, with each passing second you could feel your nervous crawling up the back of your throat. Or… maybe that was just the absence of morning’s breakfast. 
Quickly walking over, you tap the instructor’s shoulder. He turns, fixing the headset crew members were required to wear. “Yeah, yeah what is it?” 
“Uhm.. How many minutes do I have?” 
He looks down, flipping a page over quickly before showing your name on the list. 
“You’ve got thirty minutes.” You nod. “Thanks.” You make haste in tugging your gym bag over your shoulder before making your way through the emergency exit doors. Since competition had been in your hometown, you had no reason in the academy booking any hotels or airbnbs for the dancers to stay in. On the plus as well, you had also known the auditorium like the back of your hand. Knowing all of the ins and out-
Thump.
“Shit!” You catch yourself on the asphalt, your plastic water bottle spilling for the second time this week. Stringing mumbled curses under your breath, you pick up your things quickly, heading back on your path to the break you’d been wanting. 
Opening the door quietly to a pitch-black room, you set your stuff down in the corner, opening your music app to start rehearsing once again. One foot in front of the other, as you glide across the flat carpet of the meeting room, having no care in the world of where you were, or how silly you looked. 
It had just been you, your frustration, Jimin, and the music. 
Wait- Jimin?
Your eyes peek open, stopping the routine midway to see who’d been standing in the doorway. A shy smile curls his lips, as he sets down his matching gym bag next to yours. 
“Your foot..” He starts, pulling up a chair to settle down in front of you. “Three, remember?” 
You scoff, facing your torso a different way. Having no extra energy in dealing with his shit again. 
“Crystal.” You retort, crossing your arms over your chest, stopping your little practice session. His head tilts to the side, eyebrow quirking in question. “Why’d you stop?” 
“Oh, well I don’t really like the idea of my ex watching me dance. Privately.” You watch as a little sign of a smirk crosses his expression, as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. 
“I mean, if you want money I can-” 
“Jimin!” 
He chuckles, slipping the leather case back into place. “I thought it was ‘Mister Park’ to you?” 
“It’s ‘get out of my face so I can practice’.”
He leans his head back from your tone, sucking in a breath. “Ouch..” 
“Ouch!? That wasn’t even CLOSE to what YOU said TO ME.” 
He rises from the chair, closing the space between the two of you. “I know, Y/n.. and I was out of line with that.. it ‘s just- you hurt me, because you were acting like you couldn’t trust me!” 
You scoff, turning away from his view. “Yeah? Go cry about it to your girlfriend.” 
His voice raises. “See!? That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You just won’t let it go, will you?!” 
Spinning back around, you had a new goal set. “Let go of the fact that my boyfriend was still in love with his ex!? Yeah, kind of a hard fact to just let go of, Jimin.” 
“For the last fucking time, Y/n! I’m in love with YOU!” 
“Y..You’re.. What?” The new voice echoes through the silenced, blackened room. The two of you turn towards the doorway, seeing the new unannounced guest in the midst of your argument. 
“N..Nayeon..” Your voice drowns. You could see the pain clearly written across her face, but she hides it with a fake, professional tone in her voice. 
“Uhm- Miss Y/n, it’s your time..” 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
This had to be one of the most awkward conversations you’ve ever had to have. Even worse than the one time your mom tried to explain how babies were made. 
Far.. far worse. 
Nayeon’s manicured nails tap lightly against the glass table, as she glances over between you and Jimin. Both sitting opposites of one another, a few feet away for good measure. It wasn’t until she had to break the silence, that you talk. 
“So, .. what’s the story here?” 
Your arms cross, twisting your body to face anywhere but him. He does the same. You end up facing the same direction. 
Curse him. 
“No story.” 
“Nope.” 
“Ah, well I don’t think that two people who just screamed that they loved one another, have no story, wouldn’t you agree?” 
Your eyes trail along Nayeon’s postured figure. Even down to her toes, she was all feminine and beautiful. She was the epitome of beauty. The curls in her naturally blackened locks frame her features perfectly. The rounds of her silver glasses sat effortlessly on the bridge of her nose, making her look that much more Goddess-like. 
As in the words of Olivia Rodrigo; Jealousy, Jealousy. 
She turns to face Jimin, flashing a quick, nurturing smile. The love she still blatantly had for him in her eyes, made your teeth grind with anger. Your fist clench together at the sight, watching as she places her palm onto the back of his hand. 
“Jimin-ah? Tell me what happened.” 
His eyes meet hers, as your own send daggers towards the both of them. Your heart ached silently at the sight. The gaze they both held, looked as if they’d been crafted for only each other. 
They looked like the perfect couple. 
You couldn’t stand it anymore. 
“Well, this has been a blast, Nayeon. But I’ve got to go home now.” Rising abruptly with your hand slamming onto the table, you catch both of their attention. For the last time. 
“Y/n, sweetie wait-” 
You turn around, being completely done with her ‘Miss Nicey pants’ act.
“No, you know what? I’m done listening to you, and you!” Your finger points towards Jimin. “Because you two obviously seem like the most perfect fucking couple to exist, and so just have at it! He’s all fucking, yours, Nayeon.” 
Now it’s Jimin’s turn to protest in anger. He’s quick to meet your stance, challenging you. “No, YOU know what, Y/n?? I’m so fucking sick of you thinking that you know what’s best for OTHER people! Acting like you have the final say in who I want to love! In the end, you know NOTHING. So stop acting all high and mighty, because pride, my dear, doesn’t suit you.” 
Nayeon’s eyes were blown as wide as a cartoon character. Her head whips back and forth between the two of you, until she doubles over in laughter. 
Her strange behavior catches both of yours and Jimin’s attention, glancing over to where she’d been dying uncontrollably. “What’s so funny?” 
“Y-You two! Ah- it-it’s like you’re! Ahaha- You’re a couple!” 
Jimin’s eyes widened. “We.. were..”
Nayeon straightens her posture, finishing a few little bubbles of laughter before composing herself. “Ah, you guys are something else!”
“Okay, what the actual hell is going on here.” You butt in, wondering why she wasn’t angry that you basically stole her man. 
“Y-Y/n, the only reason I wanted to ask Jimin back out on a date a while back, was to finally get the closure we needed. It wasn’t really even a date, really.” 
Your head turns to the side, glancing at Jimin, who’s had his arms crossed and a ‘told you so’ look on his face for the past few minutes. 
“But you said you wanted something to spark back up.. You wanted to try and get back together..” 
She chuckles, shaking her head. “At first.. I mean, who can resist him, honestly? He’s an amazing dancer, teacher, and an awesome friend. Who wouldn’t fall for him?” 
“Yeah, my point exactly.” You retort, not sure on where his unplanned ego boost is going. 
“But,” She continued. “I realized that.. I wasn’t ready to settle back down quite yet. I mean, I guess I’m just not that type of woman.. and- when I found out how awful Jimin had been treating you in class-” She sends him a death glare quickly. His eyes roll, landing back onto you. 
“I knew that something had been going on. And.. while the Academy might not condone it.. For reputation ideals.. I don’t really see a problem with you two being together. I mean, you’re both consenting adults and all that.” Jimin nods, concluding her speech. 
“Apparently someone else had to drill it in far enough to get past her ego.” Jimin chuckles, making you nudge his side, a little more than just a playful gesture. 
Nayeon chuckles, pointing towards the two of you. “See? I swear, now that I know the truth, you guys totally look like an old couple!” 
You pull away from Jimin, shaking your head. “Okay, if you’re saying you don’t want him, then what about the kiss?” 
“I told you. At first.. Yes, I did want him back. So I asked him out.” 
Jimin chimes in. “And I declined, Y/n.” 
“Very proudly, in fact. Well I mean..” Her eyes meet Jimin’s as he sends her a ‘don’t do it’ look. 
Yep, she does it. 
“He showed me pictures of you.” 
Your torso twists, eyes blowing wide at the information dump. “Are you crazy!? What if the Dean found out!? The other students!? How could you be so irresponsib-” 
“Y/n, Y/n! Calm down, please! I didn’t tell anyone, and I would never do that to you or Jimin! When I saw how happy you two looked in the picture.. It just- well it reminded me of how he used to look at me. And, it was never as much as that.. To him, he was probably just going to be a friend.”
“Always will.” Jimin notes, commenting to make that sentence 100% stone. 
“And nothing more, Y/n. I promise. So, I really do apologize for the kiss.. Even if we had dated previously, it was out of line for me. I’m sorry too, Jimin. I’m sorry for all of the trouble it has caused in your relationship.” Your lips part, letting out a gentle sigh. 
“But you two.. You looked so happy together. Even now, you looked like the perfect couple..” Your eyebrows knit together, a somber look brushing your features. Jimin’s eyes roll back, bringing you closer to his side. 
Nayeon lets out a chuckle, leaning against the street light post. “Are you kidding me? Do you know how many fights we had in just a three week period?” 
Jimin nods, laughing along. “Like a million.” 
Nayeon, strides closer, placing her perfectly manicured nails on your shoulder. “We were never meant to work out, Y/n. He never looked at me the way I saw him look at you..” Your head lifts, tilting up to catch Jimin’s soft gaze. 
“Never?” 
She shakes her head. “Didn’t, won’t, and will never.” 
 »»————- ☁️  ————-««
After you had to bid Nayeon a farewell, you had ended up sitting on the curb, outside of the auditorium after everyone had already emptied the seats. No car had been in sight. No noise was to be heard, other than the slight hum of mother nature and your heartbeat. 
Jimin’s lips fall a short sigh, sliding closer to your side in hopes of catching your attention, instead of you being super-focused on a very interesting rock that had just been laying out in the grass patch. 
News alert; it wasn’t interesting at all. 
“You’re a real dummy, you know that?” His comment makes your head whip to the side, catching his eyes. “Yeah? Well, you need to make yourself more clear next time.” He chuckles, raising his voice in a playful manner. 
“I tried! You were just too upset to stay and listen.” 
You scoff. “Yeah, it’s really hard to stay and listen to the person who embarrassed the absolutely FUCK out of, infront of all the students!” 
He sicks down in his spot, shamefully hanging his head low from embarrassment. 
“I..was such a dick for that, Y/n..” 
“Huge.” 
“The biggest.. Bigger than my own, ..and that’s hard to come by.” His comment earns himself a slight chuckle from your soft lips. He loved that sound. 
“J-just because I laughed doesn’t mean you’re in the clear yet.” 
He rises up, acting as if he was a kid on Christmas. “Yet? That means I still have a chance?” 
You sigh, shrugging. “ Hmm.. depends on how well you make it up to me.” 
In the split of a second, he’s hoisting you over his shoulder, lightly giving a small slap to your ass in the process. 
“I’ve got a few ideas~” You let out a soft chuckle, gently hitting his ass every time he takes a step fainting protests and quiet screams, with no meaning behind them. 
“Oh nooo.. Save meee, somebody”
His eyes roll, before he’s setting you down into the comfort of his Porsche. 
Yes, he owns a Porsche. 
“I swear, Jimin. People are going to think you’re rich or something.” 
His lips come to press against your temple, smiling onto your forehead. “Rich in love, my dear.”
“How cheesy.”  »»————- ☁️  ————-««
Only took me a day to write and guys… 0__0 I wanna make one where they have babies and stuff but like I’m trying to restrain myself and it’s harddddd
102 notes · View notes
sweetiereads · 1 year
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dreamlike letters ; bangtan monthly fics
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hi loves! welcome to the masterpost of my monthy reads. they are primarily bts fics, as they are my ult group. but there are some members sprinkled in there from other kpop groups too. be sure to send the authors your love and support ♡
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❥ january / 2023 ❥ february / 2023 ❥ march / 2023 ❥ april / 2023 ❥ may / 2023 ❥ june / 2023
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58 notes · View notes
lookingforluna · 2 years
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One Last Night || pjm
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01. Meeting Again 
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❁ Pairing: Husband!Jimin x Reader 
❁ Word Count: 4.6k 
❁ Rating: M
❁ Genre: angst, smut, romance, non-idol!au, past lovers
❁ Warnings: angst, infidelity, explicit language, smut, intercourse, unprotected sex, creampie, emotional sex, public sex 
❁ Summary: You wanted more from him, but he wasn’t ready to offer that. After a year of avoiding him, your paths cross again, except he’s not alone. His beautiful bride clings to him, a reminder of a life you always dreamed of with him. One night can change many things. It can stir up many feelings, emotions, and unspoken confessions. You know how to avoid temptations, always keeping that door locked. But if it’s Park Jimin, you might find yourself pushed up against it, door wide open and all resistance out of it.
❁ Song: One Last Night by Vaults 
⊱Moodboard⊰
❁ A/N: Hi everyone! This has been in the works for two years now. I wanted to try something different from what I usually write. Most of my fics are focused on smut, and I wanted to take a different approach. Please let me know what you all think! I was super nervous about posting this, but I’m just relieved it’s finally out! <3
Series Masterlist || Next 
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"Jimin, stop. We can't," you softly mumble as you feel your back press into the doorway. Your eyes flicker around the room, trying to focus on anything besides the man currently pushing you up against the door frame. Then, just as he leans in closer, your head turns away from his face as his tall body towers over you. 
"And why can't we?" He quietly mutters, his cold breath ghosting across your cheek as your eyes squeeze shut. Attending this gala with Jungkook was a mistake. You only agreed because your best friend needed a date at the last minute, and you just so happened to be free. 
"You know why we can't," you grit out as your eyes narrow at him, your jaw clenching tightly. He only licks his lips, his eyes flickering over your frame and taking in the elegant dress adorning your small frame. 
You feel weak under his heated gaze, your body shrinking as he bites his lips and runs his fingers through his long blonde hair. The colorful streaks mixed into the blonde catch your attention, and you can’t help but swallow. No man has ever had this effect on you the way Jimin does. He could pull off any hairstyle no matter how out there the design or color might look. 
"It has never stopped us before," he smirks while leaning in closer to you, his nose leisurely brushing up the side of your throat.
Placing your palms against his chest, you roughly shove him away from you, his eyes widening as he stumbles back a few feet before catching himself.
"Yeah, well, it should have," you spit out as your eyes glance behind him and towards the ballroom entrance. 
You should have never attended, and you should have never allowed Jungkook to clothe you in this pink dress. You're pretty sure it's the only reason Jimin is even all over you right now. Usually, when he came over to your and Jungkook's shared apartment, you were only dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He paid no attention to you then, so you didn't expect him to now. 
"Y/N, come on, stop. Why are you acting like this? Just let it happen," he says, his voice sounding deeper than usual as his piercing brown eyes stare into your own. 
Shaking your head at him in disappointment, you begin to walk away, your heels clicking against the marble floors as you head for the back entrance. Jimin's fingers grasp onto your wrist, halting you in your spot as your eyes stay focused on your destination ahead. 
"Why can't it happen again?" Jimin lightly breathes, his voice sounding almost desperate and pleading as his gaze burns into the back of your head. 
Biting your tongue, you try and push back the tears threatening to spill out as you take a deep breath. You turn to look at him. He’s perfect with flawlessly gelled hair and those soft lips looking pinker than ever. He was dressed in what you were sure was a costly gray suit that cost more than anything you could ever afford. It would never happen, you remind yourself as you stare at the striking man before you. He had the face of an angel but the intentions of the devil. Choices that only managed to draw you further each time you were caught in the throes of passion with him. 
"Because your wife wouldn't like it," you spit out before yanking your wrist from his hold and rushing in the opposite direction.
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The flower garden outside is where you find yourself, your hands clutching onto the giant water fountain as you try to control your breathing. You feel overwhelmed, and being in that crowded place full of strangers while trying to stay away from Jimin is much for you to handle. Maybe you can stay out here for the rest of the night and avoid Jimin and his perfect little wife. There are only a few people out here, but they are all spread out around the garden having light conversations while sipping on their expensive drinks. You fight back your tears or try to fight them hard because once a tear falls, the rest will soon follow like a river. 
"He's not worth your tears, you know that, right?" Comes a low voice from behind you; the softness behind it is something you weren't used to. Trying to disguise your sniffle as a cough, you turn around, locking eyes with the one and only Kim Taehyung, another one of Jungkook's business partners and a close friend.
You force a smile on your face, but you're positive it's unconvincing as the comforting smile disappears from his face.
"Not very convincing, am I?" You softly laugh as you sniff again, eyes connecting with his brown ones as he stands before you. His hand moves into the pants pocket of his black Armani suit as he takes a sip from the champagne in his hand.
"He hurts you each time, yet he still ends up in your bed every time. Is the sex that great?" Taehyung asks with a soft chuckle, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively in hopes of making you laugh. Instead, his comment causes a peal of forced laughter to fall from your lips, the slight jab hurting but only reminding you of the truth.
He could tell how difficult this was for you. He had never seen you this distraught over anything or anyone in all his years of knowing you. Your secret relationship with Jimin wasn't much of a secret as the two of you thought. There were nights when Taehyung would drop Jungkook off back at the apartment to see Jimin sneaking out. He would often notice the lusty glances shared between the two of you and the more than friendly touches that were stolen. 
“Look I know you’re trying to be nice, but I don’t have time for your jokes right now, Taehyung,” you explain barely above a whisper, the words eluding emotion as they slip from your lips. The last thing you need is more reminders that the two of you can’t be together. You feel like an idiot, and Taehyung’s comment didn’t help. As you turn to walk away, a firm grip on your wrist holds you in place. 
A gasp tumbles from your lips as your eyes meet Taehyung's, a twinge of emotion showing behind them before vanishing. His face is extremely close, his minty breath wafting across your face, and his pink lips looking softer than ever. He glances at your lips before focusing on your eyes. 
“I wasn’t joking. You know I can make you feel better than he can. I can offer you everything that he can’t. If only you let me.” 
If you weren't so emotionally fucked up over Jimin, you would’ve given Taehyung a chance. He was the ideal bachelor every girl swooned over, yet he was still single. So instead of mingling with the beautiful numbers inside, he was outside speaking with you. You can't help but think about how things could've been different. Maybe if Taehyung had approached you first instead of Jimin, your heart wouldn’t be in this predicament. 
"I can't deal with getting hurt anymore, Taehyung. You should be inside finding someone worthy of your time instead of wasting it on me. I think you should just go," you say with a flat voice as you loosen his hold on your wrist and move away. 
As the soft chatter around you continues, the soothing sound of violins begins to sound. Taehyung hesitantly steps forward, not wanting to overstep his boundaries. He could see how fragile you were at this moment. He could see that you were drowning in emotions and trying to sort out the pain. If only you let him, he would do anything to make you forget Jimin. He could see everything in you that Jimin couldn’t, and it pained him to see you like this. 
"I'm here because I want to be,” he softly mumbles as he stares back at you. 
You're breathless as you stand there, lips parted but no words escaping. His eyes are stuck on your lips, and yours are fixed on his. You can feel the heat rushing to your cheeks and the fast beating of your heartbeat. You're moving in closer, lips centimeters away from his and ready to give in.
"Now come, guests must be wondering where we are," he says, voice low yet firm, as he pulls away. His hand wraps around your wrist as a cheeky grin spreads across his cheeks. Taehyung guides you into the ballroom, many eyes landing on the both of you as you enter. You can't help but let a thought cross your mind as you glance at his profile. 
If only you had fallen for Kim Taehyung.
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You know this was bound to happen at some point during the night. You just didn’t expect it to happen so soon. As your eyes fall onto her tight grip around his arm, your fingers tighten around your champagne flute.  The conversation occurring around you blurs into background music. You didn't know how to describe the feeling racing through your body. It was wrong to feel this way, but you couldn't help the fire burning through your veins and fighting to explode. 
You were jealous. 
Jealous of a woman who had the one thing you wanted the most.
Her husband. 
It took everything within you to not march over there and rip her away from him. She didn't know how to satisfy him. She didn't know how to treat him. She didn't know how to love him, and because of that, he always managed to crawl back to you.
"What do you think, y/n?" The soft velvety voice pulls you out of your thoughts, your eyes glimpsing up to land on her. Your head tilts to the side in confusion, brows furrowing at her sudden vocalness towards you.
"Y/N, I don't know how you deal with these three. They are so chaotic together." 
A chiming giggle escapes her lips, one that is perfect in pitch and volume. Her laugh was light and airy, somewhat how you imagined a fairy to sound. You glance around, noticing all eyes on you, Jungkook standing to your right, and Taehyung flanking your left. Jimin stood directly across from you with his wife Ara, the two looking like a match made in heaven.
You laugh as you try to hide your true feelings, “Well, luckily, it helps that they go out more often instead of coming over to the apartment.” 
Jimin’s shining eyes connect with your own as you finish speaking. “Well, in that case, maybe we need to head there more often, right, Taehyung?” Jimin’s eyes flicker to the man standing next to you, waiting for a response, but only receiving a chuckle from him and a slight nod before sipping on his drink. 
“How about the two of you come over to our place tomorrow then? I think a guy's night is in order. I’ll even invite Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Seokjin. It has been a while since we’ve hung out,” Jungkook smiles as he lightly bumps his shoulder against yours. 
“A guy's night? As long as y/n doesn’t mind,” Taheyung voices while glancing down at you, his face mere inches from your own. 
Jimin takes a step forward, noticing the proximity between you before jokingly slapping Taehyung on the shoulder and causing him to break away from you, “I’m sure she doesn’t mind at all.” 
You fight the urge to roll your eyes at Jimin’s certainty that you wouldn’t be bothered by them. But, in all honesty, you didn’t have an issue with the guys coming over. Your problem is with Jimin being in your apartment again.
A fake smile finds itself onto your face as you force a laugh as well, “Yea, I don’t mind at all. I’ll most likely be in my room watching a movie anyways.”
Jungkook throws his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side. For a minute, you can’t help but think how grateful you are for the distance put between you and Taehyung. First, it was Jimin messing with your head, and now Taehyung’s sudden interest just made you confused.
“Y/N! We should have a girl's night one day! It only makes sense since the guys are always together,” Ara exclaims while looking at Jimin. 
Jimin grins while smoothing a hand through his hair, tugging on the ends lightly before turning to her, “That sounds like a great idea, and you can even spend the night. We have a lot of space.” 
Another forced laugh falls from your lips as you nod in agreement. Of course, there was no way you would ever agree to anything with her, but you had to remain civil for this event. As chatter softly continues around the five of you, multiple waiters flood the area. A hand extends out, holding another glass of champagne, and you graciously take it, needing the sudden distraction. Everyone accepts another drink except for Ara, which strikes your curiosity, and before you can say something, Taehyung is the first to mention it. 
“Are you sure you don’t want a drink, Ara? You haven’t had any all evening.” 
You take in the way her eyes light up at Taehyung’s comment, her hand gripping Jimin’s arm a little tighter as she leans into him.
“Ah, Jimin hasn’t told all of you yet?”  
Jungkook tilts his head as he waits for her response, all eyes focused on hers, but yours only find Jimin’s brown ones that burn into your soul. Before she can even get the words out, you have a bad feeling about what it could mean. 
“We’re trying for a baby!” She announces excitedly. Jungkook is quick to cheer and give her a hug as Taehyung voices his congratulations to the two. Jimin plants a kiss on her head as he keeps eye contact with you. You send a tight-lipped smile her way before voicing your congrats as well. 
“I’m going to head to the powder room,” you quickly explain, stepping away without waiting for a response. 
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Leaning against the wall, you let out a deep breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Nothing made sense to you. How could Jimin act so bold and forward with you when he and his wife were trying for a baby? The two of them had only been married for a month. The last thing you expected was for them to try for a baby. Jimin becoming a father never even crossed your mind. Sure, you imagined one day he would, but he’s still young. He has always put his work first and foremost. Imagining him putting his career on hold to raise a child right when business was booming was hard for you to believe. The decision to have a baby couldn’t have been his idea. 
The slight squeak of the powder room door opening causes you to pull yourself together and get off the wall. You fumble through your purse, searching for your lipstick, just as firm hands come down on your waist. A shriek makes its way out of your mouth as your eyes land on those familiar silver rings. The ones you were so used to feeling between your legs. 
“What are you doing?” You harshly whisper as you push his fingers from your waist, face fuming with anger as you turn to face him. A shocked expression settles on his face as if he wasn’t expecting this reaction from you.   
“I came to check on you. You left so quickly,” he says, stuffing his hands in his trouser pockets. “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he continues, taking a step closer to you. 
A mocking snicker is all you can gather as you stare at the blonde-haired man standing before you in complete disbelief.
“I think you should stop checking on me. Shouldn’t you be focused on your wife and baby?” You hiss as you stare at him in rage. 
You were consumed by rage and something else you couldn’t place. He made you furious and crazy. You wanted to pull all of your hair out and bang your head against the wall because no one could push your buttons like him. 
“That’s why you walked out of there? She just said that. That doesn’t mean we’re having a baby anytime soon,” he explains while grabbing your hands in his palm. As much as you want to pull away from his touch, it’s hard to move away from him. His touch ignites something within you, and it’s difficult to control. 
The scene you witnessed before didn’t make sense to you. She seemed so excited, as if it was something both of them were waiting for. She made it seem like they were about to have a baby at any second. 
“She made it seem like you were having a baby in the next month,” you say, not being able to fight the frown forming. His hand pulls on the colorful tips of his hair as he bites his bottom lip. 
“She wants a baby soon…. But I’m not sure if that’s what I want,” he whispers while looking into your eyes. Silence falls between the two of you, and despite the voice in the back of his head telling him to stop, he asks, “What are you honestly thinking?”
Once again, you remove his hands from your hips, a habit he had become so used to. It was like second nature to him whenever he was in your presence, and he craved that feeling just as much as you did. 
Sighing, you turn to look at yourself in the mirror. You hated being this girl. You never messed around with men in relationships until you met Jimin. The two of you knew each other before he met Ara. She came along two years later, and your hookups slowly dwindled until they started one random night again when he returned to your apartment with Jungkook and Taehyung after a guy’s night out. You had missed his touch and his comfort. You missed being in his arms, and as much as you told yourself not to give in, he convinced you. 
As you squeeze your eyes shut, the words tumble out of your lips, “I’m thinking, why are you telling me this? It doesn’t change anything between us. You’re still married to her, Jimin. You should be telling her that.” 
You brush past him, your hand quickly opening the door as you look back at him, exclaiming, “I’m not your wife. She is.” 
You continue down the long hallway, trying to find a way out. There are so many twists and turns, and you feel trapped. Your mind is confused and occupied with more than one thing as the first drop of a tear graces your cheek. 
“No, no, no, no,” you mutter as more begin to fall, and you’re rushing into a random room before someone can spot you. You hate this feeling consuming your body. You feel pathetic and worthless. You weren’t good enough for him. As you move to slam the door behind you, a hand wedges itself in the doorway, prying the door open. 
Jimin stands there before you, out of breath, cheeks flushed red and chest heaving from chasing you down the hallway.
“Leave me alone,” you express, taking a step away from him as he stares at you, eyes softening from your harsh words. You didn’t want to hurt him, but that’s what he was doing to you. He steps forward, hands extending to hold you. 
“Y/N, you don’t mean that. Please listen to m-,” he begins to say before you cut him off. 
“No, Jimin. I’m done listening to you! And don’t look at me like that!”
 The words get louder the more you let them flow out of you, and all he can do is stare at you. He hated seeing you like this, especially because he caused it. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. He hated himself for making you cry like this, especially since this was the first time. He never made you cry in all of your moments together, and here he was watching as the tears stained your cheeks. 
“Don’t look at you like what?” He softly asks, eyes focusing on your glassy ones. 
“Like you care about me! Just stop it!” You shout in rage, your hand moving to fist at your long hair. As much as you want to look away from him, you need to see his reaction. You needed to see how he felt and if he felt anything at all. 
His brows furrow as he seizes your wrist, tugging you to his chest before mumbling, “But I do care about you. I always have.” One hand holds you by the lower back as the other reaches up to wipe away your tears. His forehead presses against yours, pulling a shaky breath from you. 
“God, I wish I could have been better for you. You deserved so much more, y/n,” Jimin continues as he stares deeply into your eyes. He was speaking the truth. You deserved better than him, but just the thought of you with someone else pained him.  
“I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Jimin.”
The words come out as more tears slip from your eyes. His name was too painful to say. It was just another reminder that he wasn’t yours. 
"Just give me one last night," Jimin whispers as his eyes flicker to your lips, his own mere centimeters from yours.  
“Why should I?” You say, voice breaking as you try to hold it together. Your fingers grip his shoulders tightly as you wait for his answer. 
“Because I’m falling for someone I can never truly have,” he confesses. 
Soft lips meet yours before you can even process his words, swallowing the gasp that manages to escape. His lips move slowly yet firmly against yours, trying to lock this moment in his memory. You give into him, tears still falling from your eyes and mixing into the kiss. If this were the last moment the two of you would ever share again, you wanted to remember it. You wanted to memorize his touch, his voice, his smell, his soft breaths and moans that only you knew how to elicit. 
“Jimin, please,” you whimper as his hands hasten to loosen the belt around his trousers. The clacking of the buckle and quick release of his zipper alert you of his movements. 
“I’ll take care of you,” he mutters across your lips as he pushes your back against the wall. The two of you are panting loudly, teeth clashing against each other, and arms holding on for life. Jimin lifts your dress up, his fingers pushing your panties to the side as his lips find your neck. A soft moan passes through your lips as you feel it. The soft velvety tip circles over your clit, precum spreading there as he moves it lower. Your head is thrown back against the wall, one leg wrapped around Jimin’s hip as he gazes deeply at your face. Your cheeks are already flushed, and your lips are swollen from his biting and your own. 
“Y/N,” he says, but then stops, shaking his head as he lets out a deep breath. The sudden halting of his movements makes you think that he’s second-guessing everything. Your hand cups his cheek as you lean your forehead against his.
 “What is it? Tell me,” you mutter, his brown eyes suddenly becoming shiny.   
“Please, even if you’re lying, just tell me you love me, y/n,” he pleads as a single tear falls from his eyes.
You’re frozen at his sudden request. Emotions and feelings were never shared between the two of you during sex, and it was unlike Jimin to break down.
“I don’t need to lie. I do love you. I’ve always loved you, Jimin,” you reveal just as he enters you. His lips collide with yours, the sheer force behind the kiss knocking the breath out of you. 
“Fuck, I love you too. I love you, y/n,” he pants as he slides into you even deeper, his hips keeping a slow yet steady rhythm. 
Jimin wanted to feel every inch of you, take his time and mark you in his mind forever. He couldn’t suppress the moans that left his mouth as your walls gripped him tightly. He had been in this position with you many times before, but every time still felt like the first. The only sounds in the room are the heavy breathing, continuous moans, and echoing wetness growing louder with each thrust. 
Your walls tighten around him during one particularly hard thrust, and Jimin grunts, his eyes squeezing shut in pleasure, “Fuck, you’re still so tight. I’ve missed this.” 
Sweat drips from his forehead and onto your cheek as you relish in each hard inch that exits and re-enters your dripping center. The slight twitching and faltering of Jimin’s hips let you know that he’s close, his teeth almost drawing blood from his lips as he tries to delay his release. Loud whines erupt from your throat as Jimin’s thumb presses down on your clit, his finger moving in circles with so much power. He knew your body better than anyone else. He knew what it took to get you to the edge and push you to release. 
The intensity behind his thrusts increases, and slick begins to drip down your thighs. Your wetness is all over his thighs, wetting his fingers, and coating his dick. 
“I want you, Jimin. I need you.” The words leave your mouth, begging for him in more ways than one. He knew what you meant, and it pulled at his heart. He wanted you too, and he needed you more than anything. If he couldn’t have you in any other way, then he would accept it this way. At least then, he would still have you. 
“Shh, I’m here. I’m yours,” he mumbles against your lips as your legs shake. The slow drag of his cock inside of you and his tight circles around your clit force your orgasm to ripple through you. You’re gasping for air as you tighten around him, preventing him from moving and triggering his own release. Moans of your name tumble from his lips, and he holds onto your hips, keeping you in place, your lips savoring each other as the moment comes to an end. He coats your walls, spurt after spurt, each becoming hotter as they mix with your wetness. 
Staring into his soft brown eyes, you can't help but see it as a bittersweet moment. You watch as swollen lips part, breath fanning across your face as he shakes his blonde hair from his eyes. Yet, even in this second, he still had a hold on your heart. He was gorgeous and effortlessly so.  
But the truth is, you never knew what would happen with him. Everything could be peaceful and serene like the eye of the storm, but within mere seconds it would all come crashing down. No matter how much you craved his touch and desired his love, you would truly never receive it. 
Every touch of his felt like fire, and every word from his lips tasted like poison. Yet, all this time, you drank him like a cure, expecting a different ending to the same story you knew all too well. 
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jungshookz · 10 months
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apparently y/n's really good with toddlers and jimin thinks it's adorable
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➺ pairing; balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!y/n
➺ genre; alright balletteacher!jimin stans since the last update was.,,. uh,., anyway here’s some pre-breakupfluff!! actually idk if this is going to make u guys more sad knowing how that last drabble ended but this one is super cute so at least you have that <3 i’m FINALLY appeasing u with balletteacher!jimin content 
➺ wordcount; 2.3k
➺ summary; all the teeny ballerinas seem to gravitate towards y/n for some reason and it’s taking everything within jimin to not spend the entire class just watching her fondly. 
➺ what to expect;  “oops, i dropt my swipper again.”
»»————- 🧸 ————-««
when jimin first got the email from saying that he had to take over the toddler’s ballet class for a day because the teacher for that class called in sick at the very last minute and he was the only one whose schedule lined up perfectly with the toddler’s class, needless to say, he wasn’t very happy 
it’s not that he hates children or anything horrible like that (he really doesn’t understand people who say that they hate children) — don’t get him wrong, he loves when random babies wave at him on the street and he’ll even go as far as to make a face at them if their parents aren’t watching — it’s just that he’s literally never taught a toddler ballet class before so he doesn’t even know where to start… and he also doesn’t know how far he can push them before he’s being accused of being a horrible, mean teacher 
though it would be fairly impressive on his end if they were able to do grand jetés by the end of class 
“i’m so happy we get to play with toddlers all day!” lisa squeals, plopping herself down next to you as you continue your morning stretches in front of the mirror, “aren’t you excited??” 
“i think it’ll be fun!” you smile, nodding in agreement before shrugging, “i’m a little nervous because i literally have never interacted with a child other than my little cousins, and they’re like eight to nine years old now, so i’m out of practice…” 
“it’s okay, y/n,” you feel a harsh pat on your shoulder and you look up to see seulgi smiling sweetly at you, “not all of us can be good at everything. you keep the class humble.”  
“very funny, seulgi.” you grumble, rolling your eyes before turning to look back at lisa, “i’m just glad we kinda get a day off because we have to help mr. park teach the toddlers. i don’t know about you but i am not in the mood to do any pirouettes this morning.” you huff, adjusting your leg warmers before checking out your reflection in the mirror to make sure you look okay
you also feel a little groggy because you didn’t get much sleep last night 
you spent the night at jimin’s and then he drove you back to your place early (because lisa texted and said she’d come over in the morning to have breakfast with you before the two of you zipped over to the studio so you had to go home otherwise she’d be wondering where the hell else you’d be) 
“do you think i should’ve worn the sheep-patterned leg warmers instead? i feel like toddlers would be more receptive to sheeps-“ for some reason you feel like you’re trying to impress the toddlers even though they probably don’t even know what leg warmers are and even if they did they couldn’t care less about them
you were going to wear your sweatpants but you got a new pair of leg warmers and you wanted to show them off (they’re baby pink with little black bows on the back of them), so you decided to pair them with your black leotard, a matching black wrap cardigan, and your stockings of course
“ah, i just love kids,” lisa sighs, getting up from the ground as you get up as well before looping her arm with yours, “and i don’t know about you, but seeing mr. park interact with kids is also something that i’m very much looking forward to.” 
you feel a wide grin growing on your face at the reminder that yes, you’re finally going to see jimin interacting with cute little kids and you remind yourself to keep it cool
you and jimin only started dating a few weeks ago and you don’t want to scare him off by getting all baby crazy
you don’t even know if jimin wants kids 
does he want kids?
and if he does, would he want to have them with you? because you certainly wouldn’t mind carrying his beautiful children and-
“oh my god, they’re so cute!” 
the room erupts into high pitched coos and squeals when the toddlers, well, toddle into the room, all of them dressed in matching baby pink cardigans and leotards and chiffon skirts with stockings on their little legs and neat little slicked back buns on their little heads and it doesn’t take long for you to fall in love with all of them because oh my god they’re so cute and you just want to eat their chubby little cheekies and gobble them up and rRRaAWOOF- 
“ladies, here are our little guests for the day,” jimin laughs lightly, shutting the door behind him quietly as he gently nudges the little ones towards the group like a herd of little baby sheep, “there are twenty-four of them and twelve of you, so if you could each take two for the day, that would be wonderful- oh!” jimin pauses when he accidentally bumps into one of the girls and he reaches down to pat her head, “sorry honey, mr. park is a little clumsy today and you’re just so small-“ 
“oh god, i can’t take it-“ lisa groans quietly, holding a hand over her mouth as she muffles a squeal and starts to bounce on the balls of her feet excitedly, “i can’t take it i can’t take it i can’t take it that is so stinking cute-“ 
“what are we supposed to do, do we just grab two random ones and go?” seulgi asks with a frown and you can’t help but snort because that is such a seulgi thing to ask 
“don’t grab two of them and go, this isn’t a drive through-“ you chuckle, watching as the other girls disperse into the crowd of teeny ballereenies to collect their two for the day, “you just have to go and see which ones vibe with you, i think. which might be hard for you.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” 
“well, all children know that they need to stay away from the wicked witch of the west- OW-“ you yelp when seulgi delivers a hard punch to your arm before taking off 
it’s only in that moment you notice one of the little girls in the back, wide-eyed and holding onto both her slippers, looking as lost as ever 
she stumbles forward as the other girls start shuffling forwards slightly, all the toddlers clearly a little intimidated by all of you 
you make your way over to her and she immediately looks up at you, her lips parting slightly 
“hi! do you need some help with your slippers?” you crouch down so that you’re eye-level with her and she nods shyly before averting her gaze, “okay, i can help you. i’m y/n. what’s your name?” you stand back up before holding your hand out for her and she wraps her hand around two of your fingers, trailing behind you as you lead her to a free corner in the room 
“mia.” 
“mia’s a very pretty name,” you smile, looking down at her (from your angle, you can see her little cheeks protruding out slightly and it’s just so cute) 
“i dropt my swipper.” mia suddenly stops in her tracks and you stop as well, letting her bend down to pick up her slipper only for the other one to fall onto the ground, “oops, i dropt my swipper again.” 
you and lisa make eye contact from across the room and she pushes her bottom lip out in a pout before scrunching her face and putting a hand over her chest and you make the same expression in return to tell her that oh my god, i know, right?!
“alright, miss mia, do you wanna sit down for me?” you hum, sitting down cross-legged before patting your lap, “it’ll be easier for me to put your slippers on if you’re sitting.” 
mia nods before plopping herself down on your lap and you nearly let out a coo when you notice how teeny weeny her slippers are
they’re just so cute! and they’re basically the size of your hand!!!!!! 
“how old are you, mia?” you ask, taking her slippers from her before lifting one of her chubby little legs up so you can put a slipper on 
“thwee.” she holds four fingers up and you giggle, reaching over to put one of them down for her, “i’m thwee.” she kicks her legs slightly, sticking the one with the slipper up into the air before wiggling her toes 
»»————- 🧸 ————-««
jimin smiles to himself as he looks around the room, feeling weirdly proud at how well all of you are looking after the little ones even though his teaching has nothing to do with how good you guys are with kids 
he started the class off with a few warm-up exercises and was very impressed at how well the little girls followed his lead (to be honest he’s already picked out the ones that would survive in his class when they’re older, and it’s definitely not the one that started twirling around in ditzy, uncoordinated circles when he asked everyone to get into third position), and it’s only been about twenty minutes but according to the schedule given to him, they take ten minute breaks every twenty minutes which seems a little too lax for his liking, but then again — he’s not a teacher for toddlers, so who is he to say what’s right and what’s wrong? 
and he has to admit that it was hard to not watch you the entire time you were guiding your girls and showing them how to do everything properly (“demi-plie, mia! keep your back straight just like me…”) 
at first he was going to tell you off because you were kneeled on the ground while he was teaching up front but then he realized you were only doing it so you could help the little ones with positioning their feet, and not to mention, you weren’t just helping your own two ballereenies, you were helping whichever ones were around you which was just… so nice to see 
and perhaps the others will suspect him of favouritism because he’s pretty sure lisa caught him staring fondly at you at one point but it’s not like anyone would ever confront him about it so he’s really not too worried 
“and at home, i- i do- um, i do, um, dance evewywhere and my favouwite- favouwite song is wet it go from fwozen because anna and elsa-“
“speaking of let it go- emma, you better let go of my bun before you yank my hair off my head!”
jimin’s ears perk up in interest when he hears your voice among the many voices and squeals and giggles in the room and he turns around, eyes scanning the room until he finally lands on you to see you surrounded by six of the baby ballerinas
you’ve got one of them sitting on your lap with her hand buried in a pack of animal crackers (none of them brought snacks with them so he’s assuming those came from you), one of them with their arms slung over you from behind and her cheek pressed to your shoulder, three of them sitting cross-legged around you, and the last one prancing around you chatting away excitedly 
you wrap your arm securely around the one sitting on your lap, reaching down to smooth some of her hair back before leaning over a little to look at her and ask if she’s alright, and she nods in response before holding a cracker up for you to take 
jimin feels his heart skip a beat at the adorable sight because he was certainly not aware of how good you are with children
he can’t help but chuckle when he notices you showing off your leg warmers off 
so cute
so, so cute
his eyes widen when you look up and immediately lock gazes with him only for you to wave at him shyly before returning your attention to the girls after jimin returns a smile and a wave of his own 
you and y/n would make a really cute baby, the intrusive voice in his head tells him as his arm drops back to his side, and jimin finds his cheeks flushing slightly at the thought of a teeny little y/n trailing behind him like a little duckling 
he could dress her up in her ballet clothes and put bows in her hair and train her to become the best ballerina the world has ever seen and she’d have your hair and eyes and his nose and mouth and she’d be so sweet and kind like you but strong and tenacious like him 
and not to sound like a hormonal boy or anything but the process of baby-making seems like it’d be very fun 
“mr. park, y/n’s stealing all the kids!” jimin looks over when he hears seulgi whining and he resists the urge to snort at how huffy she’s being, “i took two of them like you told us to but all of them are like, gravitating towards y/n for some reason-“
“well, i guess there’s just something about y/n that they like, seulgi.” jimin responds with a shrug, keeping his eyes glued on you with a fond smile twitching at the corner of his mouth 
🎙️ ask y/n where she gets her leg warmers (talk to my characters!) 
📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!) 
💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)
🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!) 
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namfinessed · 9 months
Text
tethered - p.jm. (drabble)
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genre: angst, closure (2.5k)
summary: jimin’s a shell of the person he used to be but you breath life to him, as you always do.
og fic - two feet tied
masterlist
note: this is a highly-requested drabble for my fic, two feet tied, i recommend reading this after the fic as it makes more sense that way, i hope you enjoy reading as always <3
jimin was worlds away from the life he used to live, he was away from the glitz, the glamour, the clenching in his chest every time a camera flashed on his face, and the person that clung onto him, only to rip his soul away.
he thinks of you.
he thinks of you, often.
jimin’s never been one to look back on the past but if it was as beautiful as his was, he couldn’t blame himself for never looking away from it.
jimin had been proud for a while, the joy that his fresh future brought him had him on his toes, it had his eyes wide and his mouth agape as he stared at the world glittering around him.
but his world now, was nothing beautiful, was nothing at all.
and he only had himself to blame.
jimin was no longer proud, he felt nothing at all on most days. he was his own undoing and he couldn’t move past the decisions he once made.
he retired as a dancer soon after his world got too shiny for him to keep his eyes open, soon after hyejin proved herself to be the wreckage she was and he opened up a bookstore to keep himself afloat. jimin wasn’t a reader but you were, you loved reading and telling him every single detail after, jimin’s heart was full when he used to fall asleep with your voice buzzing in his ear and some undying hope led him to the books that surrounded him now.
“should we put these away? the new books just came in, maybe we could display those instead?” jimin had hired a part-timer, jungkook, fresh from college, who kept him company on most days. jimin nodded at the young man who went off to finish his task and he was left all to his lonesome self.
a woman entered the bookstore with beautiful flowers in her hands and looked around. “can i help you with anything, ma’am?” jimin got up from his seat to assist her.
her eyes gleamed as she replied, “i’m just looking for jungkook, he said he would be finished by now?”
you used to look at him that way.
as if he wrote every magical song in the universe, as if he lived on the moon.
“he’s just out back, i’ll let him know, you can take a seat in the meanwhile” jimin scurries off to find his friend.
were they friends?
or was jimin so lonely, that his only companion of sorts was a college freshman, whom he was paying?
“hey, someone’s here for you” he swallowed the growing lump in his throat, which was getting harder to ignore by the day, and jungkook immediately snaps up with a broad grin. “already? man, i still have so much to do” he glanced at the cardboard boxes surrounding him, only to turn around to face jimin with puppy eyes.
jimin cursed under his breath. “fine, you can leave now.” he regrettably gives the younger man permission, who jumps up, gives jimin a hurried hug, and runs out of the store room. he hears loud giggles and sounds of happiness pouring in through the creak jungkook left in the door.
it filled jimin with an empty bitterness.
was he going to remain this way, a witness to love that he ruined for himself?
jimin was going to be in for a long night, he sighed as he rummaged through the boxes, he shouldn’t have let jungkook go but after seeing those two, the sheer excitement of seeing someone they loved was explosive and hard to not admire, jimin was left with no choice at all.
he’s felt lonely for the past year, it came in waves to him, some shorter ones that he was grateful for and some larger ones that took him away.
today, was a larger one that drowned jimin and he had no energy to float himself on the surface.
“hello?” he heard a faint voice from the front of the bookstore, jimin blinked away the tears he didn’t know were gathering in his eyes. he wiped at them furiously before rubbing the traces of all of his sadness on his apron.
“coming” he hated how his voice broke, how it felt so weak. jimin clenched his fists at his sides in an attempt to ground himself as he walked out to greet his customer.
“what can i help yo-“ his steps paused.
hell, his entire world paused.
jimin had never felt this mixture of continuous punches to the gut and the breath of sweet, fresh air that filled his every crevice.
“jimin?” he could hear you. he could see you. he could see all of you, so alive, so beautiful, you had your head held high while you cautiously examined him.
but jimin couldn’t speak a word.
humiliation rushed into his gut and twisted him inside out, he wanted to run away but he wanted to also just stand here and look at you.
look at everything he could’ve had but was too stupid to let it all go.
“it really is you, wow” you didn’t look happy to see him, which was expected and jimin shouldn’t have thought otherwise even his heart jumped at the chance for a second there. you turned away from him to face the counter while he kept shuffling his feet, he hadn’t imagined a day when he would see you again.
he knew he didn’t deserve to see you again.
“i didn’t think i would see you again” jimin admitted, finally stepping behind the counter to face you. your face stretched into a grim smile at his admission, one that was unexplainable.
you had never thought such a day would come either. you had never thought you would see the man you loved for all of your youth, stand before you so defeatedly.
but a part of you, a sick, deep part of you was satisfied with his state. he had betrayed you, and hurt you in unimaginable ways while you fought to keep your relationship with him alive.
so, even if it made you a bitter or petty person, you were glad he wasn’t all fantastic.
“how have you been?” you didn’t voice your own disbelief at meeting him, he shrugged at your questions, “better on some, worse on some.” his eyes drank you in for all of two seconds, you had just always been so beautiful and jimin knew he would always grieve the loss of you in his life.
you looked up and his head involuntarily dipped in shame again. he couldn’t look you in the eye after what he did to you.
“this is my shop by the way, bought it around a year ago” jimin tried to sound breezy as he showed you the shop but his heart was starting to cripple with you in front of him. “it’s a cute shop, i never thought i’d see you own a bookstore.” jimin was just thanking the stars in the sky that you weren’t pretending to not know him at all.
that’s a wound he would never heal from.
“i came in for the new ‘dark verse’ series book, do you happen to have it?” you asked him and jimin perked up, he definitely saw that book in the back.
but they weren’t to be sold for another week.
“i think it’s in the back” he rushed off to the storeroom and slammed the door behind him. jimin let his body fall on the door as everything came rushing to him.
you and him, the black swan audition.
him as the black swan.
hyejin.
the practice.
the lies.
the cameras.
the tears in your eyes.
the roses that fell around your shoes.
the image was burned onto him, onto his very soul, when hyejin had gripped his arm too tight, when your eyes met his and he felt the slash of pain run through his spine, the roses that crumbled in your hold.
that night when he was on top of the world after his best performance but your teary eyes kept him on solid ground, where he was nothing but a cheater.
he should have pushed hyejin away, he should have run after you and saved whatever he could, or at least, beg you for forgiveness.
now, it was too late and jimin was no one to offer himself to you.
“hey, it’s okay if you can’t find it, i know that the release isn’t for a while” your voice came from the other side of the door as a gentle knock echoed around jimin’s lonely form.  
he rushed over to the boxes, almost toppling over them, and snapped the door open in panic, an overwhelming fear took over him that you will say that and leave.
your eyes grew wide as you took in jimin’s flushed state and tired eyes.
you almost felt sorry for him.
almost.
“are you okay?” your hands clenched at your sides because you know you shouldn’t reach out and comfort him, not when he left you the way he did. he stiffly nodded, thrusting the book towards your direction.
it was the limited-edition version with a rare bookmark tucked into it.
it was for collectors and when you were together, you had always complained to him about how quickly these versions get sold out.
“of course, is that what you wanted?” his throat was heavy and he was struggling to speak, something you noticed immediately.
you had wanted him to suffer but not to this point, you couldn’t even see a bit of the confident, loveable jimin you knew, in the man who stood in the doorway.
“it is, jimin. thank you” you looked at the book with the intricate cover instead of the boring paperback one with more resignation than excitement. you had nothing to say to jimin even if you wanted to but seeing him in the state he was, you couldn’t help but extend a hand to him.
“we should talk, jimin.” you declare and he nods, unlike you, he had way too much to say. you walked past him into the store room and made yourself comfortable on the floor, patting the spot next to you for him to occupy.
jimin stared at the spot, your hands tapping it, and felt the clenching in his chest loosen an inch. he sat down without a word and kept enough distance to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable.
“i heard about your retirement” you started and jimin shamefully admitted with a nod, that he indeed let go of the one thing that brought life in him. “i couldn’t do it anymore” his voice was low and weak which twinged your heart.
“the dancing or the rest of it?” he knew what you meant, you didn’t mean the stage where jimin lived and died, you meant the cameras that had hurt his eyes and the woman who ruined him.
“the rest of it.” you hummed, picking on lint on your jacket as you contemplated how much you wanted to tell him. jimin constantly eyed you from his periphery, wondering which words of yours would be the last he hears, which line would be your goodbye to him.
“i was shocked when i heard about it, i never thought you would give up dancing, not after becoming black swan” you decided this was going to be the last time you ever talk to him, so you might as well lay it all out.
“i couldn’t do it without you, and i’m not saying this to make you stay, i know you deserve much better. i just needed you to know, that you were the reason i was half the man i was” jimin’s chest continued to free itself slowly from the cage it locked itself in and you blinked away tears as rushes of memories from your early days came back to you.
you hadn’t expected jimin to be so honest.
“how long did it go on?”
jimin faltered, he almost forgot that you knew nothing about the cheating itself.
“3 months” he gave you the definitive answer you deserved.
“oh.” you couldn’t say anything else as it dawned on you that it was for longer than you had thought. you didn’t like that it made you sad again.
“what do you do these days?” jimin was genuinely curious about the life you led now, he was sure you were doing something great, you were always destined for it.
you hesitated for a minute, “i am set to be the director for this year’s black swan.”
you pursed your lips and waited for his reaction; a burst of bitter laughter, a sneer, anger, irritation, embarrassment, these were all reactions you expected but maybe a bit of the jimin you knew still was buried in him.
because his face stretched to the biggest, sweetest smile you have seen from him.
your heart fluttered a bit.
that was the smile you had fallen in love with all those years ago.
jimin, on the other hand, though he knew the irony of the situation and what it meant, couldn’t help but feel his pride brimming.
“i’m so, so proud of you. i always knew you would do something big” his words were genuine, with sparkling eyes that twitched a smile on your face too.
you just wish it hadn’t been like this, not in the storeroom of jimin’s crumbled future, you wished it had been all that time ago, on that stage when you directed for the first time, that jimin had smiled this way.
jimin was your day one, your partner for years, he saw every painful thing in the industry that you did and pulled you out of many down days. so, hearing him say he’s proud even after everything, warmed your heart with the closure you wanted.
your eyes stayed on each other with small, unsure but unstoppable smiles on your face as all the time you spent together tunneled around you.
you were afraid that if you stayed in this room for a little more, you would fall in love again and that was not something you wanted.
and whatever jimin was scared of came true.
“i should get going” you got up slowly, dusting your clothes and taking your bag and jimin’s heart sank but the lightness in his body stayed.
“let me walk you out” jimin followed you out of the room, and you walked as slowly as you could to the front door.
jimin watched with silent steps as you turned around to see him.
possibly for the last time.
and he still had too much to say.
“thank you for not pretending that we’re strangers even if i deserve it,” his words stopped you from leaving, “thank you for trying all that time ago, and no amount of apologies from me will make up for the shit i did, so take care of yourself and please remember that before everything, i still loved you the most.”
i still love you the most.
jimin bit his tongue from saying that, it wasn’t fair on you for him to say that after what he did.
you blinked back the tears that were barely holding onto your lashes since you saw jimin again. you hadn’t realized you had much to say too.
“we will never be strangers, jimin. i loved you for half my life, i cannot ever think of you as a stranger but i don’t think i’ll ever meet you again, it doesn’t mean i don’t wish you well, please take care of yourself, you are so much more than this.” you stepped forward shakily and pressed a weak kiss to his cheeks that were stained with tears too.
you begged your lips to forget his skin.
and jimin clenched his fists by his sides to prevent himself from engulfing you in one, final hug.
instead, he just smiled with teary, sparkling eyes as you stepped away from him with a smile as well, and disappeared into the evening.
both of you were meant for more than this but he messed up and now, you both had to say goodbye to the one you loved the most. jimin will always grieve the potential your love had, the memories you could’ve made even more of but instead of grieiving with regret, he will grieve with fondness.
your situation wasn’t fair but jimin was glad that he could have this closure with you, that you departed with the goodbye you deserved.
he no longer felt his chest would snap in two or that his eyes were aching.
he breathed in the air around him and imprinted your words into his heart.
he was more than this and jimin was going to make something of himself, because you gave him the courage he needed, as you always did.
and no matter how many years pass, he will remember how he loves you and how you were the best part of his life.
jimin, as he stepped back into his storeroom, didn’t feel that his feet were tied to his guilt and he hummed happily while setting the books aside, paying special attention to the one you asked for.
he decided he was going to take his dear companion jungkook for a dinner and then tell him that the store is closing and that the younger guy was always welcome in his life.
jimin was going to dance again.
for the memory of you.
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chimchimmarie · 4 months
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HE’S LEAVING ME
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Breakup Angst
Word Count: 650+
Summary: Your world ends at the hands of the man you love. The man who brought you back to life, only to kill every bit of you in the end.
AN: Jimin just enlisted today and I don’t know how to cope. This is me breaking. I listened to Eric Nam’s “Lose You” as I wrote this. I am not a professional writer. I’m sorry for any errors. The Photos are not mine. CTTO.
It took me a day to acknowledge that I am not okay. That my world is slowly crumbling down before my very eyes and that there’s nothing I can do to reverse it. To stop it. To fix it. Time has totally run out on me. It took one sleepless night before I finally snapped out of the numbing trance, which now tastes like fresh panic at the tip of my tongue.
Jimin is leaving me.
He is ending the only good thing I have ever had in this life.
He is ending us, and practically ending me— killing every living, hoping, and loving part of me.
Five years worth of memories flash before my eyes. I feel like there’s no amount of tears that could wash away this excruciating pain he has left me. My breath leaves me over and over again as I tear through every flashback, every fleeting moment, and every echo of him.
I can’t breathe. It’s too late to undo this hurt. I am not even sure I understand how we ended up here— hating each other, breaking each other, hurting each other.
“Did you even love me?”
My voice breaks as I chase after him. He stops just right before the bedroom door. But he doesn’t turn around to face me.
“Did you even love me!!??”
I scream until my lungs give out and my frantic voice shatters the stillness in the room.
“Answer me you f—cking asshole!!!”
My own outburst shocks me and I regret it as soon as I had said it. But it’s too late for that now. My hands are cold and shaking, tears flowing like rapids and it tunnels my vision.
My breaths are labored as I wait for him to say something.
Anything.
He turns around and looks straight at me. And I don’t recognize the man in front of me anymore. There’s a look on his face that I can’t place.
Is it regret, hurt, resentment? I don’t know anymore. He’s not the same guy I fell in love with five years ago. And as soon as it hit me, I break even more.
I break the eye contact and fall to my knees. It’s too painful to even look at him now. So I stare at the hardwood floor.
Something in me bursts with the realization that this is it. The end of everything I’ve worked hard to build. The love I sincerely believed to be the one to save me.
I break, and the sound I make as I cry my soul out scares me. It wrecks me.
“Stand up. Stop it. Don’t do this.”
His voice is void of emotion. He sounds nothing like the man who had held my heart in his hands from day one. Trusting him with every piece of it, but only to crush it five years later.
My mind is chaos. I struggle to understand when exactly did I start losing him. It might have been months or years prior. I feel like I have been blindsided. I’ve been hit hard without knowing what hit me. We’re both in the same room. And I have been staring at perfection up until this point. But he’s now about to wreck it.
He starts to say more but I’m already starting to crawl into myself. I feel myself let the pain rush into every space in me that’s left until everything turns numb, and the image of Jimin is nothing but a speck in the hollow of my mind.
I let him kill everything that is me.
I let go. I give up. I stop fighting for the man I still love. The man I lost somewhere down the line.
There was nothing left to fight for, so I let him leave.
And as I hear the door close after him, I feel every part of me really start to die.
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bangtangalicious · 1 year
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placebo (m) | part 1
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⇒ pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader ft ot7
⇒ genre: 18+ romance, smut, soulmate!au, academia!au, vigilante/gang!au, strangers to enemies to lovers, forbidden attraction, romeo-juliet typa shit, opposites attract, hurt/comfort, fate versus destiny, kinda dystopian, bikergang!jimin, biochemistry-student!reader, neuroscience-student!jungkook
⇒ warnings: sexual tension, making out, kissing, cuddling, just a whole lot of kissing--they just met okay lol they'll get down and dirty soon enough bear with me ;) pet names, teasing, flirting (i mean cmon its jimin), motorcycles, jungkook being fresh out of a kdrama lmfaooo, betrayal, people being judgey
⇒ premise: a scientific compatibility test matches you with your soulmate, except he's everything you hate and you're everything he stands against.
⇒ wc: 6k, short and sweet
⇒ taglist: @tornparts @loona15 @mini-euphoria @effielumiere @agustdreamsblog @jnghs @dragons-flare @xiusmarshmallow @ratherbefangirling @infires-imagines @aretha170 @dvalitaes @kookiejeonie @ddaeng-angmoh @idk123906 @medievalpink5
series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
Delicate. The way the crystal snow glided through the crisp winter air. It wasn’t cold—not yet. But enough to make your breath fog into a sweet sigh. Deep in the heart of campus, you took a moment to do just that—breathe. The sunlight was polarizing against the stunning white layer on the ground. You hugged your large coat closer to your body, basking in your own warmth. After staring at the sky for another moment you stepped forward. Crossing the street.
A car whizzed past. Quicker than light you were pulled back by the shoulders. Until you suddenly found yourself in the arms of a familiar face.
“What the fuck” His words were worried, but a smile painted over them. Exhaling softly, his hand cupped the back of your neck. He towered over you, shielding you from the strong sunrays. His silhouette breathtaking, but his face mimicking the light you could no longer see. “Be careful”
His glasses were thin rimmed. Turtleneck doing its best to hide his thick muscular build. His large wool coat fitting nicely across his broad shoulders.
You blushed. Your lab partner of three years never failed to make your heart skip a beat. Jeon Jungkook had been a friend. A colleague, and nothing more. Yet the more hours you spent grueling away in the tiny, musky lab—the later nights redoing experiments and writing up reports, you had become closer.
Despite your intuition, you began to feel hope. The moment spinning in your mind unparalleled as you arrived in lab, him not leaving your hand in case you may decide to absentmindedly wander off again. You were notoriously clumsy—you couldn’t help it. You had a lot on your mind. The cold air made you crave the warmth and safety of touch. It made you crave the day you would find your soulmate.
A sharp pain stung in the back of your neck, where a bioregulatory chip had been inserted when you were 16 years old. Everyone had them. The pain was a telltale sign that the cognitive-sexual threshold had been achieved, and you could now be matched with a soulmate. A brilliant formula that you had spent all of your early college years studying—infamous Dr. Kim Namjoon developed a way for people to recognize others who qualified for peak compatibility. The hope was to promote healthier relationships, happy families, and improved social function through strong support systems.
The pain had been recurring frequently over the last week. It was only a matter of time. They say you’ll just know when you see them. The chip is programmed to signal once it registers an ideal partner based on the compatibility test that runs whenever you look in anyone’s eyes. You hoped it would be Jungkook. That one day, you’d look in his eyes and you’d know for sure—that the sweet, soft, nerdy and beautiful neuroscience student Jeon Jungkook was yours. And you, his.
The age that soulmate’s got assigned varied, as each formula was unique to the individual. However, there were telltale signs that you would find out soon—including heat spikes in your biochip. You know for sure when the unique code of your iris meets that of your soulmate—your biochip then signals to your brain.
Hours spent together in silence, you adjusted your focus to work. The work that made you get up in the morning—that excited you about life. Carefully pipetting, time would move in a blink of an eye, until you felt a tap on your shoulder. He was leaning over your shoulder. That big, goofy smile on his face.
“Hey, I’m going to head down to the autoclave” His fingers ran through his neatly combed black hair nervously. “Do you want me to take anything down?”
Scanning your workspace, which was royally cluttered in a way with would have biohazard authorities throwing a fit—you shook your head. “No,” You smiled, “Thanks though…” Jungkook nodded, loading his cart with equipment. “Are you going to leave after?”
Taking off his thin-framed glasses, he wiped them against the pocket of his lab coat. He wore the coat so well, you swear nothing suited him more. “Yeah, I was getting hungry. Do you wanna join me for some jjajangmyeon?”
Heat rose to your face, tickling the corners of your lips into a smile. In an effort to not be too eager, you reached for your cellphone. “Sure let me just make sure I don’t have any more meetings”
“Great” Jungkook chuckled shyly, hands shifting in his pocket. His eyes glazed over you, head to toe before he gave you a nod and turned away. You watched him leave, allowing your smile to grow even more. He was so freaking adorable. God what would you have to do to get a soulmate like him? Yours would be a romance of the ages. Two scientists working in the Department of Biochemical Affection at the most prestigious science institute in the world, being each other’s most compatible. It would be amazing.
Jungkook was perfect for you. He understood what you were passionate about. Who else would listen to your geek rants about hormone interaction experiments? Or patiently wait while you fangirled over Dr. Kim Namjoon, the mastermind behind the entire field who authored the fool-proof, innovative compatibility experiment that had allowed for the government Soulmate initiative? And it didn’t hurt that he was drop dead gorgeous.
Urgently you began to clean up your workspace, grabbing your things and shoving them aimlessly into your bag—until you heard sirens outside. Brows furrowed, you headed to the windows to see what the commotion was all about.
The sun was just setting, a sweet peach hue glazing the sky, hiding the deep navy edges of the night. In the golden light, you could see two police cars surrounding two motorcycles. They were parked, one of the supposed owners talking intensely to the officers while another simply sat on his bike, a cigarette tucked in between his lips.
Your lips scowled at the man who was smoking. You hated smokers. The man held his cigarette in one hand, pushing his sunglasses up with the other. He looked to the sky—eyes bored, searching for something.
His hair was jet black. Pin straight. Leather jacket tight around his slim frame.
His eyes met yours. They were brown. Round, beautiful eyes.
“Ouch” Your hand flew to your neck. A pain burning into your skin. Hands trembling as your heart rate quickened. Blinking you realized he was still looking. Hadn’t flinched, not even once. Your lungs grasped for air—breathing out, you suddenly felt a wave of comfort. Of ease.
It was like a warm hug had overtaken your senses. You felt safe. This stranger was in your proximity and every wall you had up came tumbling down.
They say you will just know.
The man abruptly got up from his bike, his eyes not leaving yours. You watched, stunned as he tossed out his cigarette and went running towards your building. Once he was out of your vision, you gasped—suddenly aware of how long you had been holding your breath.
The safety was replaced with a sense of dread. Something bitter in your throat. You were nauseous. You didn’t want to believe it. You hoped—prayed it wasn’t true.
“Ready to go, Y/n?” Behind you, Jungkook had returned. Backpack in hand, he handed you yours. Taking it from him sheepishly, you couldn’t hide the shock on your face. “Everything okay?”
“I..I just” You were at a loss for words. Your gut told you that the man—your soulmate—was coming up to see you. You had to wait. You had to know for sure. Maybe it wasn’t true. There was still a chance that—
The lab door flew open.
“You”
Your backpack fell to the floor.
Jungkook exchanged a confused look with you as the man shamelessly entered the lab, strutting past highly classified experiments and notes all to reach you. You saw him closer now. Inches away from you. He was shorter than Jungkook, but his eyes fascinated you like nothing else. He was wearing earrings, necklaces, rings on his small fingers. His lips were thick, lush and seemed incredibly soft. He smelled like smoke. Unhinged and raw. Expect you didn’t hate it. Not on him.
He cupped your face, his hands were cold against your burning skin. He searched your eyes. So familiar, so incredibly sweet, and yet you didn’t even know his name.
Time seemed to slow. Your heart was racing. He stood there, taking you in as if he was memorizing every detail of your face. You forgot about everything—the world around him seemed to fade. A blur in your vision except he was clear as day. He was real as anything. Dizzy—your head spun with questions—with doubt. You were nervous. Suddenly feeling vulnerable in the palm of this stranger.
His touch, while aggressive, was strangely soft. His demeanor was intimidating and yet you were confident you were in no danger.
He leaned in closer. Eyes widening as though he was asking a question. You had no answers. You had no thoughts. Your mind was completely blank, senses overwhelmed until you blinked
And his lips were on yours.
He kissed you. Tender. Gentle. Quick—but long enough for you to really feel him. The way his lips fit perfectly against yours. He tasted disgusting. Tobacco on his breath. You wanted more, but he pulled away.
“Hi” His face was serious, but his eyes seemed to be laughing. “Name’s Park Jimin”
Swallowing thickly, you parted your lips to speak but he kissed you again before you could. Not realizing your hands were bunched up against his shoulders, grabbing the collar of his jacket—pulling him to you. You sighed.
Jungkook cleared his throat in discomfort. You had completely forgotten he was waiting for you. You pushed Jimin away slightly, gathering yourself before looking at him again.
“Hi J..Jimin” You extended your hand awkwardly. He raised his eyebrows, amused at your behavior, “I’m Y/n L/n” He took your hand, turning it over before he placed a fleeting kiss on your wrist. You shivered—the gesture so intimate. “I’m so sorry I have to go I uh—” you motioned towards Jungkook. “Have plans”
Jimin let your hand go, turning to Jungkook. “Hey man” He nodded his head, “Nice glasses” He winked. Jungkook looked flustered but said nothing. Turning back to you, Jimin waved. “Great meeting you, soulmate”
Your heart sank. He said it. Which meant, he felt it too. Your fate was sealed. And as you watched him leave, you couldn’t help but question where the hell this man came from—who he was—and how in the world was he your soul mate?
-
“Park Jimin?”
The steaming bowl of noodles in front of you did little to distract your mind from the overwhelming encounter you had just minutes before. Jungkook sat in front of you, seemingly more bothered by the whole episode than you had expected. Jealously was not a great look on him. You watched dully as he typed away at his tablet.
“I was so surprised. I always thought you’d get matched with someone more…you know…” He paused, searching for the right words. You knew what he meant. Exactly what he was insinuating. You felt a glow in your chest knowing that Jungkook had probably thought the same of you as you did of him. However, you found it difficult to care. Jimin may not have been what you expected, but you knew what you felt. Without a doubt.
“Like you?” You picked at your food, poking your chopsticks against your noodles aimlessly.
Jungkook took a big bite, wiping his face before scrolling down the screen, “I feel obligated to look into this guy. He seemed sketchy. And you said he was in the middle of being arrested? And rode a motorcycle—I mean do people still even do that?”
You felt guilty about judging him. Guilty that you were trying to fit him into a predesignated category in your mind before you even got to know him. You didn’t want to look him up, although you knew everything would be available. Privacy was not something valued in the state anymore. Information was completely open source. Accessible.
“He’s a student, so that’s good at least” Jungkook muttered, chewing his food.
After a few moments of silence, he stroked his jaw in confliction. Eyes glued to the screen, he had clearly found something. “Oh, this makes absolutely no sense”
“What?” You tried to reach for his device but he pulled it out of your reach.
“Park Jimin is part of an anti-science vigilante group that believes the government is using the institution of science as a way to regulate the population as per their agenda”
“Okay,” You swallowed thickly, slightly taken aback by the news. “So he has beliefs that are different than mine. That’s okay”
Jungkook raised his eyebrows, “Anti-science? Y/n, this guy is the total opposite of you. And not in an, opposites attract, cute kind of way. In an inherent personal values kind of way. You’re a scientist for heaven’s sake!”
You exhaled steadily, setting down your chopsticks. “I know the compatibility formula inside and out. It’s never wrong. Our chips know us better than we know ourselves. I must trust it, Jungkook. It feels strange to me too, okay. I mean, Jimin smokes and I hate smoking. But if he’s my soulmate—I have to try. I have to make it work”
Defeated, Jungkook put away his tablet. “Just be careful okay. I know you believe in this, but science isn’t perfect. I’m just a little worried” His voice was quiet. “I had sort of always though you would be mine. So, I’m sorry if I’m being a little much today” His eyes diverted, looking hurt.
Your heart sank. People often dated before finding their soulmates. It wasn’t abnormal at all. A part of you wished you had never seen Jimin just so you could have had more time. More time in ignorant bliss. Admiring Jungkook for a while longer, even if it didn’t amount to anything.
“I understand. Trust me, I do. But I have a duty to my soulmate. I need to find him, and get to know him” You sighed, “The science is right. Dr. Kim Namjoon is right. I’ve seen it myself”
Jungkook nodded, shifting his weight. A bought of energy overtook him—ever reluctant to give up. “Will you just do me a favor? It’s for your own good, Y/n. You’re going to meet Dr. Kim at the conference in a few weeks, right? If you can, ask him to send the compatibility test results to you—just so you can know for sure. It can’t hurt”
-
“Where the hell did you run off to?”
Steadily making his way back to his bike, Jimin could make out Seokjin’s annoyed face in the dim light. He had roughly a few seconds to come up with an excuse. Jimin surely couldn’t tell him that he found his soulmate. Not unless he wanted an earful of Jin ranting about how fucked up the compatibility formula was, and how corrupt it is for people to be force matched into relationships against their free will.
Free will. All he had left to hold onto and yet, he didn’t feel in control lately. He felt numb. Lost in the haze of a double life where the secrets drowned him out into nothing. Law student by day, his nights were spent carrying out orders from the ambiguous resistance core. Fighting for justice through a system where he still had no say. Fighting corruption through a sense of servitude. It seemed all but ironic to him.
Frankly, the state had done him no ill. The death of his brother had forced him into the company of the resistance by association. His brother was an active member. He had surgically removed his bioregulatory chip and insisted Jimin do the same. “Don’t be a pawn in someone else’s game” He had said.
Jimin didn’t listen.
Surely being a pawn was better than being a king. Walking around with a target on your back. Jimin had no one else. The resistance took him in, offered to pay for school, so there he was. Seokjin by his side since it happened. 
For the first time since the death of his brother, Jimin felt something. Sure it had been years, and maybe he had moved on. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but feel curious. Exited even. Who were you? Why was it you? Whether the compatibility test—whether the concept of true love was real or not, he wanted to know you.
“I uh, had to talk to one of my professors” The lie came easy to him. In a way he was protecting you already. If they knew he had been matched with a citizen, you’d be on their radar. Who knows what they might do to you? To make matters worse, you were a scientist. The resistance didn’t believe in science. Science was simply a tool to further the state’s agenda.
Which made you the enemy.
Jimin didn’t trust the resistance the least bit more than the state. Caught between two flawed systems, Jimin was barely staying afloat.
Seokjin eyed him skeptically. “I still think you should consider dropping out, Jimin. Seriously, all they will do here is plague your mind with a false history of thought. You can learn anything you need through the resistance”
Jimin rolled his eyes, kicking his leg over his bike. Shaking his head, he lifted his helmet on, glancing back up towards the window where he wondered if you still were. He wondered if you were a key. Something that would save him from his mess of influence he was in. His mother had only ever wanted one thing—that he finish college. He hated school, but he did it for her.
“Say, what does the resistance think about compatibility science?”
-
Eyes dry, drained from a day of emotions, you stared at your computer. The clock hit midnight. Tucked in bed, you were robbed of sleep, wanting nothing more than to find the mysterious Park Jimin. To know him, truly, before you let Jungkook’s words create ideas in your head.
His profile wide on your screen, school picture staring back at you. He was hopelessly handsome. Almost ethereal with those pretty eyes. You recalled how his lips felt against your, tracing your own at the thought. You craved the smokey taste of him—the taste you thought you would loathe.
The video call button under your cursor. You wouldn’t dare—you were too nervous. Nervous that Jungkook may be right, and you would find out that this man stands against everything you do. Everything you work for.
But you simply had to know.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you took a deep breath, clicking the call button. The soft ringing tone made you jump—as you waited for him to answer or ignore your call.
The ringing stopped.
Your heart with it.
And there he was. Tired, makeup off, revealing the dark circles under his troubled eyes. His room was dimly lit. He appeared to be sitting at a desk, in nothing but a white T-shirt. His muscles prominent even through the screen.
“Hi you” He grinned lazily. An easy, teasing smile. The type of smile that made you want to kiss him long and hard. “Miss me already?”
Throat tight, you were suddenly at a loss for words. A million questions in your mind, now knowing where to begin.
“Jimin—hi” You waved sheepishly at the camera, “I hope I’m not bothering you, I know it’s late”
He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, “Whatever,” You noticed that he kicked his legs up on the desk. Something inside of you felt queasy. It drove you crazy when people behaved like that—disrespecting their workspace. “Just doing some homework”
You exhaled in relief. “Right, so you’re a student?” He rolled his eyes.
“Duh. I met you on campus didn’t I?” Sighing, he reached for something. You watched as he brought a bottle to his lips. Energy drinks. Your hands curled into fists. Doesn’t he realize how unhealthy those are? “I study law”
“That’s cool” You couldn’t hide the disinterest in your voice. You had never really resonated with social sciences, being a science lover from as early as you can remember. The most reading you did was the romance novels that were hidden in your closet. You dreaded conversations about politics. Ethics. Law.
“No,” He chuckled, “It’s not. But aren’t you little miss impressive, doctor Y/n?”
You blushed, “I’m not a doctor.” Pausing, you added, “Yet”
“Biochemistry” Jimin took out his phone, clearly reading off your profile. You hated the way your ego inflated with the way Jimin sounded genuinely impressed.
“So you’re really familiar with all this soulmate crap huh?”
The feeling was short-lived. Your lips pursed. Soulmate crap. “Yeah, I guess”
“Do you think it’s real?” Tossing his phone aside, he suddenly leaned very close to the camera. Voice dropping to a low, teasing whisper, “The soulmate stuff—is it really love?”
“I do think it’s real” Your voice wavered slightly, but you were determined to stand your ground. You had been trained to deal with skeptics and if this man was your soulmate you were determined to make sure he believed it too. “I realize that it can be complicated to understand, but it’s a way to ensure high quality of life in the long run”
“Being told who to love is high quality?” Jimin taunted.
You frowned. A part of you recognize he was egging you on. You were determined not to let him get to you. “You don’t even know me. Don’t decide I’m not worth it without at least doing that”
Satisfied with your response, you relished at how Jimin’s face hardened. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for people to doubt the system. In fact, you always felt it helped hold scientists like yourself accountable to the general good. But Jimin’s doubts almost hurt. His reluctance to believe in what you dedicated your life to. Maybe Jungkook was right. Maybe this really couldn’t work.
“It isn’t personal. I just don’t buy into a chip in my back telling me what to think”
Surely, it was personal. Surely Jimin felt the same as you—that you weren’t what he wanted. He seemed unwilling to compromise, unwilling to budge. Exhaustion flooded your senses. You wanted to scream.
“Then forget it!” You snapped suddenly, slamming your computer shut. A tear rolled down your cheek, which you quickly wiped away. After a few deep breaths, you opened your screen back up. Jimin had tried calling you back.
I’m sorry
I do wanna know you, Y/n
Why don’t we try hanging out? I’ll come to your lab tomorrow after your shift.
That night, you dreamt of Jungkook. What it might have been like, being the soulmate of someone so handsome, smart, and sweet. Instead of someone who was bound to drive you crazy.
-
“Y/n” The voice of your PI, Jung Hoseok, boomed through the lab. It had been a busy day, with the important conference coming up, Hoseok was insistent that the first series of trials be complete before then. You and Jungkook had been working to the bone. “You need to redo these samples. Stay after tonight and get them done”
You groaned, setting your pipet down. Jungkook gave you a sympathetic look.
“I can’t tonight,” You spoke up, which was unlike you. But things were different now—you had a soulmate. You had to spend time with him. “I have plans”
Hoseok stomped over, towering over you. “Excuse me?”
You and Jungkook would sometimes gossip about whether you thought Hoseok had passed the cognitive-sexual threshold yet. Whether he had been matched to a soulmate, or if perhaps he would be one of the few who would never be matched.
He was so uptight, the two of you liked to joke that he’d end up alone. You always did wonder what happened to those people.
“I said, I can’t. I’ll come in early tomorrow and get them done, I promise. But I have to be somewhere tonight”
Hoseok’s jaw tightened. “Since when do you have a social life, Y/n? Ever heard of priorities? If you don’t stay back tonight and finish, you’re not coming to the conference. It’s as simple as that”
You sighed in defeat. You needed to go to that conference. Dr. Kim Namjoon, your idol and inspiration, was going to be giving a presentation. It was a great opportunity to network and see if you might be able to go work for him after you finish your degree. And Hoseok knew how bad you wanted to go.
Not to mention, you wanted a copy of your compatibility results.
“Fine”
He grinned in satisfaction, “Good”
Groaning, you returned to your pipetting. Jungkook nudged you lightly with his elbow.
“That was so manipulative” He commented, “You okay?”
Nodding, you rolled your eyes, “Yeah, I just had plans to meet Jimin tonight. But he’ll understand”
“Will he?” Jungkook muttered. You gave him a look. You had told him all about the previous night, which only affirmed his preconceived notions that Jimin was no good. That your soulmate was a doomed case. In a way you were grateful he was continuing to be your friend despite not being a viable soulmate for him. You needed support. You had a feeling this new relationship was going to be rough. “If you want me to stay back and help you, I’m happy to”
You shook your head, “No, don’t worry I got it.”
-
Jimin paced around the lobby nervously, watching as the whitecoats scurried about. He felt extremely out of place, his skinny jeans, chains and leather jacket contrasting the plain and simple dressed around him. He seriously wondered if these people had personalities, or if they were truly robotic like Seokjin liked to try to convince him they were.  
If he recalled correctly, you should have been leaving around sundown, and it was almost dark. Jimin had half a mind to go up and see where you were, but he didn’t want to deal with your big nerdy glasses-wearing, jealous friend.
Fuck it. An alarm in his chest went off. What if you were in some kind of trouble? You didn’t seem like the type of person who would be flaky and forget a date. He rushed to the elevators.
“Text me if you need anything okay Y/n!” The nerdy guy’s voice echoed as the doors of the elevator opened. Jimin stared him down as he crossed him in the hall.
“Hey glasses boy” He called. “Is Y/n in there?”
The boy gave him an unimpressed look, folding his arms over his chest. Jimin bit back a laugh.
“My name is Jungkook, I’m her lab partner. She had to work late today. Don’t bother her”
Jimin raised his eyebrows, “Jealous much?”
Jungkook pouted. “Look, she knows who you are Park Jimin. She knows about the vigilante group”
Jimin scoffed, “Vigilante group? God you’re all such fucking geeks. It’s called the resistance”
“Whatever it is, she knows. You’re dangerous, and I’m onto you—got it?” Jungkook peered at Jimin, making sure to emphasize their height difference. Jimin backed away, hands up in defeat.
“Yeah alright glasses, I got you”
Jungkook huffed, entering the elevator. Jimin watched him leave before rolling his eyes. Jealously looked so pathetic on some people, it was honestly laughable. He made his way to your lab, knocking lightly on the door. He watched as you were immersed in focus, carefully pipetting something.
“Hey you”
You looked up, eyes widening when you saw him. “Oh my god” You glanced at your watch, “Oh no! I totally lost track of time—my PI said I had to redo a whole set and stay after but I was trying to work quickly so I could still make it but—” Jimin walked over to you, resting his hand on your shoulder.
“Relax doctor. You’re so tense”
“Y-you cannot be in here without PPE”
Jimin tilted his head in confusion, “I already peed earlier?”
You blinked at him incredulously. “No—gosh, no, you need to wear a lab coat. Goggles. Gloves.”
He shrugged, taking a seat next to you. “I won’t touch anything. I’m just watching”
You pursed your lips. You tended to be a bit uptight about certain protocols. A generally unorganized individual, you had experienced one too many accidents in the lab to not take safety seriously. “It’s not just about you contaminating the samples, it’s also about your safety. If a solution were to spill you could get burned or infected or—”
“Alright!” Jimin laughed, pinching your cheek. He gazed into your stressed eyes. “I’ll wear your stupid PPE”
He wandered over to the storage closet, grabbing the materials. You watched him, the coat was far too big for him, and the goggles looked almost silly on his face. Returning to your side, he pulled the chair up close so that he could rest his head on your shoulder as you worked.
“You mind if I just stay and watch?”
“N-no. That’s fine”
Jimin smiled. You became increasingly aware of his breath tickling your cheek as you worked. Hands trembling ever so slightly. His proximity made you dizzy. Today he didn’t smell like cigarettes. He smelt addictive. Dark. Like the wild.
You glanced over at him, wanting to see if he was finding your work interesting but were started when you realized he was looking at you. Flinching, you backed away from him.
He hummed, a light laugh. “You’re cute”
You looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “Thanks, I guess” He watched as you returned to your work, unphased by his words. Your dedication was admirable, he couldn’t deny that. He also couldn’t deny he was bored out of his mind. He supposed he could talk to you in the meanwhile.
“Your lab partner. How long has that been going on? Clearly likes you”
“Jungkook? He doesn’t like me, we’re just very close” He could hear you lying through your teeth. The speed of your voice picked up ever so slightly, and your fingers tightened.
“Sure, okay.” Jimin moved closer to your face, whispering against your ear, “He told me you think I’m dangerous…Do you?”
“I don’t know you at all, so it’s hard to tell. But considering you’re in a gang, I suppose it’s a reasonable hypothesis”
Jimin grinned, “Well if you have any questions about it, I’m an open book baby”
You set down your pipet, peeling off your gloves. “I’m done” You announced, shrugging off your lab coat. “Give me your lab coat” Turning to him, you waited expectantly.
“Help me take it off” He teased. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the sleeve of his coat and tugging it down. Once you managed to get it off of him, he pulled you into his lap.
“Jimin” You exhaled. The bunched-up fabric separating you from his chest. His eyes spoke to you. Beckoned you—tempted you. As if they were daring to see what you would do.
He grabbed the coats from your hands, tossing them aside. Hands on the small of your back he pulled you in closer until your hips were locked against his. Gently he slid your goggles off and then his own, tracing your cheek with his thumb.
“Do I scare you, doctor?”
You turned your face away. “No, of course not” He pulled you face back towards him, lips melting against yours. This time, longer. Less fireworks and more comfort. You realize he was trying to give you a sense of ease. 
“I don’t hurt people. At least not people who don’t deserve it”
“How would you know who deserves to get hurt?”
Jimin’s eyes flashed. He enjoyed being challenged. “How would some scientists know who we love?”
“I don’t know if I can get past this” You whispered, “You hate what I do”
“I don’t”
“And I hate what you do”
Jimin sighed, caressing your hips. “If you don’t want to see me, you don’t have to Y/n. We still have free will. They haven’t taken that from us. Yet, anyway”
You shook your head. “It’s not wrong. If you’re my soulmate, I believe with every fiber of my body that it’s true. So yeah, we’re clearly different. And it might be hard but, I’m going to find a way to love you. I have to”
“And how exactly do you plan on doing that when you’ve already decided who I am”
The words weighed heavy in the tense air. He watched as you considered his statement, that genius little head of yours whirring at what to say next. You looked at him with such earnest guilt, Jimin wanted to kiss you again just for that. His fingers trailed up and down you back. He was warm today. You felt incredibly safe in his hold.
You let your arms slide around him, hugging him to you. Your face against his neck, lips pressed against his jugular. It was so incredibly intimate. Such a delicate moment. For a second you almost began to believe you could fall in love this man.
You rose to look at him. His lips grazed over yours, breathing you in. Pressing against yours, pushing and pulling ever so sweetly. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Heat enveloped your body, like every sense in you came to life all at once.
His fingers wrapping around the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly close. “You taste so fucking sweet doctor” His voice was raspy, breathless. You trembled realizing just how taken he was by you.
“Jimin—wait” You inhaled sharply, pulling away before Jimin could swallow you into another kiss. Jimin steadied himself, tracing your lips while he caught his breath.
“This has been fun, doctor” He winked, nipping at your cheek one last time. Pushing you off him, he stood up, “Would you like a ride home?”
You stared at him in disbelief. “O-on your bike? I don’t know if that would be very safe—I’m not exactly comfortable with—” Jimin grabbed your wrist, pulling you chest to chest.
“I’m not gonna let you fall” You believed the words when he said them. “You wanna know me right? Well that bike is a part of who I am. Don’t knock it till you try it”
The next thing you knew he was placing a helmet over your head. Guiding you to sit on the bike before he sat behind you. His arms hovering over yours, caging you in as he gripped the handles. His chest to your back, thighs keeping you steady.
“Ready doc?”
You stared at the road ahead. It was pitch black. Anxiety danced in your gut.
“Okay” You had to trust him. He was your soulmate after all.
He took off, the engine whirring. Suddenly you were flying through the horizon. Heart beating fast as your surroundings blurred past you. In fear your hands gripped Jimin’s over the handle, steadying yourself.
You couldn’t hear anything but swore you could feel him laugh. He kissed the back of your shoulder before speeding up even more. You focused on the sensation of him—the fact that he was there, he was in control—therefore you would be okay.
You felt like laughing. A big smile on your face as you began to enjoy the rush of adrenaline as Jimin raced through the winding roads. It was exciting, the start of a new adventure. A new person who you had all the time in the world to explore. To understand his quirks, his persona, his story.
It wasn’t love, yet.
But it sure as hell could be.
When you woke up the next morning, your phone was blowing up. Hoseok had left you many messages.
Y/n—what the fuck happened
All of our data is gone—the classified trials, everything
Call me ASAP
full masterlist || ask box || series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
a/n: thank you for reading <3 this is new territory for me so please let me know your thoughts! if you'd like to be added to the tag list, you can reply, send an ask or dm me :) have a beautiful day you beautiful human <3
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fluffyydumplings · 2 years
Text
The Tale Of The Forgotten
Gone - Part 7
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Summary: Forty-five years ago, you planted a tree in the backyard of your boring old home with the person you hoped to cherish for as long as the tree would stand.. Forty-five years later, the tree flourishes - shrouded in pink when spring stays over, shrouded in green when summer comes by, orange as autumn says hello, and a dusty white as winter kicks in.. But only he remembers of that day, and of the love you once shared.. You, on the other hand, you have forgotten.. Completely and for eternity.
Word Count: 5.8k
Genre: angel!jimin x human!reader / human!jimin x human!reader (past) / friends to lovers / marriage!au / angst (lots of it) / painter!namjoon x sculptor!yoongi x fashion illustrator!jin x traveller!reader (present) / an itty bitty bit of fluff
Warnings: themes of death / car accidents / major character death / profanity / an almost punch / old age / poverty / allusions to war (no war takes place in the story) / robbery / break-in / themes of heaven and hell
A/N: Suprise! Surprise! Gone is back after four months! This chapter was something I came up with last year - and I finally get to write it.. Time to reflect on life yet again, dear reader.. I apologise for making you wait for so long.. Life was simply busy, and Gone wasn’t something I felt like continuing in those times. I thought about it frequently though, I have to say - this story is like my cats whom I cherish dearly (my sweets) after all.. One more chapter to go! :O @jayhopely ahahahha! Enjoy your shot of pain!
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Wings.. Clusters of white, not a trail of light to follow.. They lay heavy on his back, if not heavier than they were the day they were given to him as it twists and turns to cover his broken form - not a single tear or frown whispers into his jar of emotions - his face remains nothing but empty - stiff and a mere illusion to fool himself and those he is to guide.. If he were to walk past by a lake, an ocean or happen to pick up a shard of broken glass, his soul aches a little and his legs cling onto each other in anguish - because it knows just as he does, that from the day he made a deal with the person above.. his existence was left with nothing of that but his soul - he has no reflection, for he has no form. It’s all an illusion! It’s all an illusion!
It hurts.. It hurts.. And for the first time in forever, it seems he finally gets the meaning of what crying inside is.. For, that’s what he is doing.. In his empty eyes, he can see his human self heavy with snot and bleeding with rivers of tears..
‘Jimin-ah.. Goodbye!’
He manages to bring out an awkward smile for you - even if your back is turned and you’re not looking over his way anytime soon.. He likes to think that you can feel his smile.. However awkward or hardened like chalk it is..
He falls to his knees, and everything comes crashing on him.. He’s as light as feather, yet he feels as heavy as a boulder..
‘It’s over!!! Our dea-ll! It- ‘s o- v- er!!’
‘One lifetime!!! You said I was one of the lucky ones.. One of the good ones.. One of the only ones who get to choose!’
‘Why am I in so much pain then? Why?!! Why?!!’
He shouts to no one in particular.. What hurts more than anything is how stable his voice remains and that the anger and agony he embodied the day he confused heaven and hell as two (when they clearly were one of the same worlds) never manifests itself in his cries..
‘Because dear child, pain is inevitable.. You have chosen this path, you have gained a bit of contentment through it and a bit of distress through it.. But that’s how the world works.. Nothing ever thickens down to one definite form.. It’s always a mess..’
‘Do you regret your choice?’
The strange voice that has no end or start or softness or roughness to it rings in his head.. Like wet paint dripping off of an 18 by 24 inches canvas held up by a worn-off easel by the side of the broken window you forgot to fix.. Rain and hail accumulating on its surface - a storm to take on rather than avoid..
‘No..’
Angels.. Souls that wander aimlessly through the road you walk on every day to get to work, bearing a face that tingles a pang of familiarity within you - but you can’t quite put a finger on.. Lingering around, desperate to see their loved ones one last time - and to send them off into a new life just as they themselves suffer the consequences of what they have chosen.
It‘s like betting money on a game of cards, the uncertainty of getting something or anything back weighing the tip of one’s sunken lips.. To linger on for ten lifetimes or one.. Will it end up with satisfaction or regret that eases through the walls of one’s mind?
The unpredictability of what could happen or what you could witness - good enough to anchor you to a mountain with arrows of flying fire.. To see someone fall in love, and not with you.. To see someone die, their soul sucked out of them when you’re nothing but a soul yourself.. To see someone be in pain, but have no one by their side..
‘I’ve seen her smile.. I’ve seen her beam with joy.. I’ve seen her grow.. I’ve seen her soar and I’ve seen her fall.. Through it all, she remained beautiful.. That, I will never regret having witnessed.’
Angels.. Souls that have done so much good in their lives that they were given a choice.. But different burdens come with this choice.. And it’s how they make of themselves that distinguish whether it was the right choice or not.. (Deception.. There’s no right or wrong.. We just make it through and gobble our burdens up..)
‘Are you ready?’
‘I’ll have to go on with this even if I don't want to.’
A scale appears before him.. And on its golden surface laid a single feather, the other side carrying the weight of his heart.. Quickly the side with the feather sunk down - his heart declared lighter than that of the feather.. It seems his fate lies in the same train station you went on a few hours ago - as he would like to assume.. After all, having been lingering on for decades does that to you - it makes you lose track of time. It makes you realise that humans aren’t as meticulous or detail-oriented as you think they are. That clocks don’t line the walls of every home nor does every person out there carries a watch with them. The rectangle everyone carries around, Jimin never got around how it worked..
‘Angel Jimin, the trial proves you guilty of no hatred and nothing but good in your heart.. Your soul shall pass over to the borders of reincarnation.’
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
The Past
‘Bailing on us again, Chim?’ the presence of his friend sparks an annoyance in him that he can’t quite explain.
‘I’m not interested in going to one of your parties, Hyun,’ the studded jacket that wraps around him all of a sudden sticks to his skin uncomfortably - he knows he looks good in it - but it was far from the man he was. From the tough material that makes it awfully difficult for him to move around to the hazardous spikes that surround the piece of fabric - it was everything that did not define him as a human being.
Park Jimin was a soft and delicate man that found himself in beautifully-coloured flowers and auburn sweaters that hung off of him loosely - showing off his sculpted collar bones and delicate skin. His definition of strength did not lie in phrases printed over t-shirts: ’Strong Like A Man!’ ‘Man Up!’.. He found it stupid.. disgusting.. disturbing..
He found strength in giving those around him strength - whether it was through words of encouragement or a simple show of respect. Like the way he smiles at the woman who works at the record store a few blocks from his house, patiently waiting for her to find the track he wanted - not expecting her to bow at his feet.. One: because he was physically male.. Two: because the customer is always right.. To be treated kindly and with no harsh remarks. It made feel her comfortable - and therefore, it made him feel comfortable..
‘Chim..’
‘What are you doing here?’ he freezes, a mountain of freshly shaved ice in the process of crumbling down into a path of dirty water.
He looks around - to the side, to the front and to the back - a sigh of relief dancing at the tip of his dirty blonde locks (dyed a dashing hot pink at the ends) as he spots the familiar black shirt he’s grown familiar to through frequenting the store. He mouths over to the woman who works there to leave his record on the counter. A reassuring smile with hints of shame washing him over, a surfboard splashed in the condescending cold waves it is surrounded by.
‘Was wondering where you went instead of joining in on us. Someone told me you were here often.. So, I decided to drop by,’ his permed hair sticks out as the bright sunlight simmers its way through the thin orangeish-red curtains that drag aimlessly across the floor - but what stands out more is the disrespect that compresses itself into his fingers that harshly stroke against the records displayed on the wall. Completely disregarding the devotion and love put into making each and every one of these discs. In his head: ‘Boring old PVC.. Nothing fascinating..’ - absolute fucking mama’s boy - hasn’t grown up mentally out of diapers.
Hyun makes Jimin fizzle up to a boil, hands shaking like he’s had tremors for forty years (longer than he has lived). And this might be it, the day Jimin gets enough of his barbaric and obnoxious behaviour.
‘Lady! Get me all of your best-sellers and bring it back over here in two minutes.’
He’s had enough..
That’s right, you’re the woman who works at this record store. You’re the woman who wears black even if the sky is at a blazing 38 degrees Celsius outside. You’re the woman who shares a popsicle with him and sometimes a hot cup of tasteless tea. You’re his person.. A very precious stroke of black that completes him - makes him whole and constantly reminds him to be true to himself.. (You’re a person he holds close to his heart..)
And beyond that - you’re sweet.. sugary.. and everything nice.. From the way you write thank-you notes for everyone that enters and leaves this shop with a purchase (whether they’d end up throwing it away along with the bag it came with or crumbling it into a trash can somewhere - it did not matter much to you) to the way you never hesitate to buy out the old lady’s, who sits by the side of your shop every 2 to 6 pm, stock of bean sprouts (just so she could leave early and have something to eat for the night)..
You’re an angel.. An absolute fucking angel.. (Thinking back to the present, he hopes you never become an angel.. All there is to it is a lingering bittersweetness that resembles what happiness in the real world could be and a crapload of pain.. It’s a path he hopes you avoid at all cost)
‘Lady.. Hurry up!’
That-
He..
That-
That bastard..
No one should ever talk to you in such a .. No one.. Absolutely no one!
He’s had enough..
The tissue that you handed over to him after your impromptu meal of Kimchi Jeon (pancake) crumbles and dissolves into the wrath of his fists. He’s furious and fearful all at the same time - his jaw tensed as the palpable anxiety that shakes a room when tree branches tear through the delicate ground of a newly bought canvas.
He estimates the distance between him and Hyun, glances up and down and calculates the angle at which his fists would do the most damage.. He hardens his fists, grinds his teeth together and smiles sardonically - eyes a pearl of faux happiness formed to protect himself from the consequences of his not-yet-to-happen action - that he is ever so well aware of, but chooses to ignore.
He sees it, he feels it.. Four stitches - one on the right cheek, two on the chin and another one two cm away from the left eye. A broken rib-
He can already taste the metallic red that will soon ease its way onto his tongue.. Bastards like him deserve to feel death but not truly die...
His fists harden even further.. Is that even possible?
Bastards like him deserve to burn with every breath they take.. Bastard like..
He lifts his hand, and aims where he thinks it will hurt mos-
‘Don’t do it, Chim,’ your frail voice wasn’t one of fear or fright, but of concern and care.
For every stitch and every hit would be another cent deducted from your shared bank account.. For every extra punch, the possibility of Jimin ending up behind bars increases. For every extra glare, the further your husband will get away from you..
‘Sorry..’ he whispers to you..
All it takes is a brush of your fingers against his shoulder blades for him to free himself from the restrains of anger that his feet were one held back by. You were an easel that shaped the strings of hemp fibre bandaged over his feet into flower petals of calm. In a way, no one else can or would, like soft soap carved away through the tip of a seeding knife dipped in a vessel of lukewarm water.
‘Ya, dude.. There’s literally a section that says ‘best-sellers’ on it.’
‘Oh! You’re right..’ with heavy footsteps, he follows the devil.
‘Ya, Park Jimin! This place is pretty cool!’
‘Ya, dude.. Now that you know this place, I’m going somewhere else!’
‘Park Jimin.. You’re ever so cruel..’
‘Well.. Find your own record shop to scavenge then.’
‘My oh my.. There’s no need to get heated, is there?’ arrogance shook off of him, ‘This place isn’t even all that fantastic anyway.’
“This place isn’t even all that fantastic anyway.” He finds himself repeating that same sentence over and over again in his head, in a ridiculously deep and sarcastic tone.
‘This place isn’t even all that fantastic anyway?’ a frown nuzzles into the sharp edges of his cheek.
‘This,’ he mixes.
‘Place,’ and mixes.
‘Isn’t even all,’ and mixes.
‘That fantastic anyway,’ having the arrival of the deep shade of purple, he has desired from the very beginning, at the tip of his nose.. he gently dabs a bit of the glossy substance onto his index finger, transferring his prints onto the canvas before him..
‘Woah.. The flowers are now- Alive..’ your jaw drops as you place a cup of soy milk onto the table to his left; for him to savour on once he feels like taking a break. (your kitchen still smells of soy and sugar.. It warms your heart and reminds you of your Taiwanese friend back from high school.. You have to admit.. Soaking and grinding beans up with water is the most unexpected plot twist of your life.. - you kind of like it though..)
‘They are.. Aren’t they?’ the crinkle of his eyes, and the gold that struck them.. he was filled with passion; so much passion to quiver above his fingers.
The smell of fresh paint kisses the yellow walls of the ventilated room, the sunflower painting (inspired by van goh’s “vase with fifteen flowers”) that hangs from a nail poorly hammered through the wall.. The herringbone tiles that threaten to crack with every creak of your shoe’s sole, the lilies that blossomed beautifully against the elongated stone pot placed against your window’s sill (no longer a wilted row of death thanks to the bottles of water you have saved up from washing rice)..
‘Why lavenders?’ your hands are placed on his shoulders, as you gently sink into the top of his head - placing a feathery kiss, in which he smiles at..
‘Lavenders grow well in poor soil.. It reminds me, that I can- no.. we can thrive regardless of where we are or who we are..’
__
‘Lavenders thrive in soil that is poor
It grows
It grows
Like you and me
We grow
We grow
It grows
It grows,’ she sings..
‘Maybe, we are two lavenders dancing on the ground
Wilting
Crying
Dying
But always, growing
And always alive
We grow
We grow
We’re alive,’ he sings as she continues strumming at her guitar.
Approaching slowly, Jimin’s fingers slowly place a penny into the hat tipped upside down on the floor beside them. He could barely make it through a day without his stomach grumbling four times.. His dirtied and scuffed sneakers and worn-down-at-the-seams jeans were a reminder of that, yet he smiled when his pocket was emptied of one single penny that could have bought him a red-bean-filled fish-shaped bread - steadying his stomach for the rest of the day. Jimin had nothing, but he was willing to share..
__
‘Quite the poet there, Chim.’ you boop his nose, and he attempts to do the same; you end up with purple on your nose.
‘Park Jimin!!’ with your bare hands, you drag across his paint palette.. thrusting the paint you manage to get.. at him..
He covers the canvas with a clear plastic wrap, and reaches for the same paint palette.. you don’t let him have it..
‘Ha!’
‘Well.. Take this!’ the wet paintbrush he gets his hands on flings paint into your hair..
‘Ahhhhh!!!’ you smear paint on his cheeks, running wildly like a puppy being startled by the sudden outbursts of fireworks going off.
*the sound of a tap turning on*
‘Well, that didn't end up well..’ you slosh your hands up and down in the water, ‘And what’s with this unicorn barf bath bomb..’
‘Freebies..’
‘Woah.. Where do you get free bath bombs from..’
‘The stall next to our house.. They always give away their leftovers for the week to people who live nearby.’
‘How come.. I never knew this?’
He finds it cute.. How your face relaxes and your mouth hangs open ever so slightly.. Like a kitten met by a measly ball of yarn, amused and taken with delight - the type that has its eyes blinking with rapture and bliss..
‘Poof,’ Jimin splashes water right onto the tip of your tongue - soap might smell sweet, but to taste.. it is bitter.
‘Jimin,’ you seem taken back by surprise, your mouth now wide open.. eyes a big crystal ball of shock and ‘how dare you!’.. But, you’re not mad or a tiny bit angry. You find it hard to do so when his hands shake with amusement and bubbles of laughter erupt from his chest - voice now strained and raspy due to how much he laughed today.
You find it so hard for a little flake of annoyance to cling onto you, even as you accidentally gulp down a spoonful of orange blossom soap diluted by water. (You’re going to have to go for cherry blossom soap from now on)..
‘Ha!’
‘Take this!’
Cherry Blossom Soap it is!
As he reaches for the basin floating statically against the waters of the bathing tub, you yank his arms and bundle it around yourself (the filling of a dumpling wrapped in between that of an egg wrapper.. Folded into a package of warmth), head resting on his shoulder as he pouts his failed vengeance away..
__
‘Life.. Is a cycle of two things.. Pain and- Joy.’
The day before ended with joy - the hoot of a wild owl as its head turns like that of a clock running out of batteries.. the blossoming of a primrose, growing further and further with every moment that the sky bleeds with cobalt - beauty in the minds of humans who find great significance in what meets the eye..
‘Jimin-ah.’
‘Hmm..’
The stars continue to twinkle as you both lie flat on the damp grass, unafraid of getting your clothes wet.
‘Do you think we’ll make it out of this shitty town one day?’
‘If we both continue to work our asses off, maybe..’
You flip yourself over; so that you are lying flat on your stomach as your feet levitates in the air and your head rests on his lap.
‘One.. Two.,’ you point at every star that comes into view, and through it all.. You both smile.. ‘Three.. Four.. Fi-’
The day after started with joy - the egg man raising his voice to sell his day’s worth of eggs.. the morning dew that saunters elegantly down the leaves of the apple tree standing lonesomely in front of the bakery’s doors.. the smell of freshly baked egg tarts - sweet, buttery and inviting..
‘One Strawberry meringue pie..mmmm.. And-’ he pauses for a second, ‘And one walnut pie..’
‘That would be xxxxx won.’
Bills left on counters, hurried steps and shameful looks..
He couldn't be bothered though..
‘Thank you!’ he leaves with the sweetest treat he could ever afford.
‘Chim.. This-’
And he gives it to you.. Because you’re the sweetest human he has ever known..
‘Happy birthday, my sweet.’
‘Oh, Jimin! You’re so terribly sweet..’ tears of joy drip from your eyes - pearls that form from that of a mermaid’s sorrow.
They say joy comes easily to those who have been deprived of it..
‘I love you,’ you collapse into a hug, and Jimin is starting to think he might have accidentally dropped a few crumbs of pie crust into his eyes.. Because, is it just him.. Or is it getting hot in here?
You’re not a dramatic bunch.. When your daily meals sometimes consist of nothing but rice and water or the occasional dash of vinegar and soy sauce though.. Anything is everything..
The afternoon that arrived shortly after came with tangles here and there in its hair - water bills, electric bills...
‘And on such a joyous day,’ your instantaneous withdrawal of breath does not go unnoticed. There could be an umbrella drenched in honey and swarming with bees slumped over your sorry head for all heaven’s know.
‘Give that to me,’ he pesters for the sheets of paper that have your names scrawled across it, along with that of doom’s - might as well staple your joint will on top and include the bills for your headstone underneath everything else (on second thought, you’ll just get washed away by the sea or turned into trees once you die.. It’s better to give whatever of your measly bank account to charity, and that one plot of land you own to anyone who is willing to take it.. Can anyone do anything with a piece of land that is shaped like a fucking scalene triangle though? Probably.. But, does anyone really want to?)
Your pockets might have emptied to a lightweight of nothing, however- nevertheless- regardless of that, the river by the bridge you cross by to work every day still flows the same and the gravity that is holding everything in place never falters. Your hearts cracked into pieces that are unperceivable through the eye, eroded into a handful of soil - only for an onion plant to spring up in a patch of asparagus.. Oh, what the unfortunate stalks of green have to bear.. Misery comes in a circle of terribly bonded string, you being both the victim and the victimiser.. Onions and Asparagus tastes good in a soup together, on soil.. on the other hand.. the latter that begins with a sweet sweet letter A is stunted in growth.. The same way the world is stunting your growth and his..
The afternoon that you were sitting miserably through was a tangle of greased up and loose ends of battered hair.. Tangles can come loose with the help of a brush.. Grease melts away with a little bit of shampoo.. Jimin was both of those things..
Your money may never return (oh, if only it had legs.. Would it walk back to you if it did?), the same way many never do after being drafted to war.. The thing is.. Joy comes and go.. And so does pain.. (And so does money.. Although it never feels like it)
A picnic under the willow tree overflowing with matcha green leaves, honey dripping from your chin as you munch on a bunch of rice cakes dipped in cheap translucent honey (you doubt much of it is honey, the rest presumably being sugar, water and yellow dye)..
‘Banana milk?’ he pokes a straw through the aluminium film that wraps over the top of the tiny plastic bottle - the good stuff for you, water for him.
‘A sip,’ you push the straw in between the softness of his lips.
‘My hands are shaking.. Take a sip already,’ you watch him with anticipation, smiling once he gives in.
‘I don’t even like banana milk..’
‘Liar.. You love banana milk..’
He can’t lie when it comes to you..
‘Fine.. I do..’
A playful knock to his head with the power of your first..
‘You idiot.. You should have bought one for yourself too,’ you end up stretched out on his lap, head resting on the sharp of his collar bone.
‘Idiot,’ another hit, ‘Idiot..’ theatrical sobs and whines from the top of your lungs.
‘Only for you, sweet..’ you get off of him and begin staring down a ladybug, giggling every time it moves.
‘Gross.. What are you? My knight in shining armour? Prince charming?’
‘And they say chivalry is dead.’
‘Park.. Don’t start pulling chairs for me.. I’ll divorce you,’ you point at him, a teasing glare that reflects on the grass below you.
‘Aye.. Aye.. You can’t get rid of me that easily!’
‘Or maybe.. I can,’ you toss an ant at him.
‘I’m not afraid of bugs, sweet.’
‘Chivalry is dead.’
‘Park Jimin is dead.’
‘No... Jiminnnn.. Nooooooo!’ you take this chance to attach your lips to his.
‘I- sweet, chest compressions.. Chest compressions... Mouth to mouth CPR is what people do in movies.’
‘Let’s do what they do in movies then!’
‘Sweet.. Are you running a fever or what?’ he presses his palms against your forehead, and there it melts - it melts to form a bubble of love.. You could choke to death and peacefully die..
The night that sunk in felt like moths swarming an empty street’s flickering lamp, damp roofs dripping with water and flattened car tires running down a slippery road.. You felt as though you were trapped in a world run by superheroes.. A marvel movie with flying colours, but everything was splattered in varieties of crimson red - if anyone could bleed crimson red. You were no hero with powers that could zap trees and villains with melancholic yet seemingly depressing backstories, nor were you given the benefit of a cool headquarter to reside in.. You were a bystander to crime - living diagonally to it, either a witness or a sufferer in making.
If anyone told you that you were to one day be obligated to drive in the dark (chocolate peanut butter cake that Jimin asked a friend to help make still heavy in your stomach), expected.. No- required to go pick up the pieces of what was left of your boss’s broken-in record shop.. You would have started laughing maniacally then proceeded to launch a bucket of fries (in and out, animal style fries.. The one with the heavy but tasty sauce, grilled onions and melted cheese) at whoever this person was..
One, because.. Who in their fucking right mind would choose to rob a record shop that had nothing but old vinyl records and fake flowers to offer? From the notes with sweet ‘thank you’s and ‘you made my son’s birthday special,’ that sticks to the display window to the silly ‘We Are open’ sign that had (around the letters) a few eight notes, quarter notes and whole notes scribbled in black dry erase marker. Anyone could tell, with a single fucking glance.. That this shop was operated on customer service and a fondness for music rather than making money from scamming a bunch of twenty-year-old jazz lovers and rock and roll enthusiasts.
You were fuming mad, and even though you could have politely declined.. Mr Song, your boss of two years was too sweet of a man to let down. In fact, he never asked for you to go check for him.. It was you who volunteered.. ‘Are you sure? Today’s your birthday, Y/N.’ The old man deserved to sleep peacefully at night. ‘Maybe, I shouldn’t have told you.. You’re way too nice..’ ‘Boss.. I will do it!’ ‘Are you sure? You should be enjoying a warm meal with your husband!’ ‘And you should be sharing a warm meal with your wife! Plus, I already ate.’ ‘Fine.. You can go..’ ‘Aha!’ ‘Don’t aha me young lady.. Be careful.. Drive safely..’ ‘Okay, dad.’ ‘Mhmm.. Drive safely.’ ‘Silly girl,’ a feminine voice. ‘My wife says-’ he’s cut off. ‘Drive safely, you silly girl..’ ‘Thanks, mom.’
At last, you could say your last moments were peaceful.. Saving the people who were the parents you never had.. A nice dinner with your husband..
‘I swear.. They keep on playing that song,’ you scoff, staring at the red that glimmers on the traffic light’s surface.
Two, because.. Driving at night always scared the living hell out of you.. Yet, there you were- driving at night, nothing but the radio to get you through the night. Hands on the wheel and silence walking past the streets.. A speck of dust could have glided across the zebra crossing and you would have noticed - that was how empty it was..
‘Ajaaa.. Let’s go,’ you spoke to yourself in a very deep and exaggerated voice.
In a way, you were glad it was you and not any of them.. Ms Song who would send side dishes your way, afraid you would have nothing to eat.. Mr Song who helped you bargain your way to getting your car for a more reasonable price - the old thing.. The same one that flips over as an unexpected truck makes its way through, its driver fumbling over the troubled brakes..
Case: Hit and Run
Would anyone want to disintegrate into nothing but a distant memory though? You never intended to die that day, yet you did.. ‘Why fear death?’ Because, that break-up from ten years ago wasn’t the end.. nor was you accidentally tripping over your boss on the first day the end.. You felt embarrassed and felt as though your world was coming to an end.. Death is ‘the end’ though... The real end.. Never mind what happens after death or how liberating it is to some.. With death, you never get to see Jimin’s finished painting.. With death, you’ll never get to feel how large (pfftt.. Small) his hands would be overlapping yours.. With death, everything comes to an end. A full stop to your tragic tragic life..
‘Why fear death?’ It doesn’t fear you.. That’s why..
We all are bound to this distant full stop.. That’s why it’s scary..
‘Are you acquainted with Ms Y/N?’ a voice as bitter as grass flows away.
‘Ye-’ and at that moment, his phone drops.
Crashing.. The city of Guernica bombed.. Destroyed and in ruins of outrage.. The painting by Picasso.. Jimin felt like the crying horse in grey and the screaming woman in white.. He sometimes felt like the light bulb that looked over everything.. He sometimes felt like the blank canvas before it was drawn on.. He was a mess.. An absolute mess..
Jimin was a finger-painter by heart, lulled in by the colourful array that would spread across his canvas and the happy images that met him whenever he were to look up. Was never into cubism, found it dull no matter how vivid the choices of paints would be. Yet, Guernica managed to enthrall him.. Everything about it was so depressing.. The thought of it made you frown and your eyes wet and your stomach churn and your mouth part in horror.. Yet.. He found happiness in it - the pain of war there to warn and remind people of the dreadfulness that came with such madness. A reminder.. A hope that no more is to come..
‘No-’ his voice was hoarse and constricted with fear.
Park Jimin..
‘Jimin, dear.. Old lady Lim asks of you..’
Twenty-seven.. Park Jimin was one for joy and anything that had to do with it.. Graduated with a doctorate in nursing, and played the role of a kind and caring helper for many years to come - and to today..
It is rare.. or shall you say odd, to see a man stand in a position as such - considering most would aspire to do greater things.. Like, take up being a doctor or surgeon.. It is a field that within the first mention takes you to white beds and women in pink uniform.. Jimin thinks outside of that box.. He takes pride in his work.. He takes pride in staying by a patient’s side, a certain comfort to their lonely and ill hearts. He takes pride in calming a person down and helping them do the things they no longer can do.. In the same way, he provides comfort to them.. He provides comfort to himself..
‘Sweet, I was never fond of death.. Neither were you,’ dressed in black, red blooming beneath his star-like eye... he sobs quietly..
‘Everyone hates death.. Don’t they?’
‘Kitty.. Come here,’ in his lap the orange ginger cat purrs, living its own world of tuna cans and cat nibbles.
‘You hate death too.. Don’t you?’ his hands continue to stroke the feline’s fur.
‘I knew it.. Who in the fucking world would like such a terrible thing?’
Limbs paralysed with pain, his chest tightened..
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
‘Hwa-Young shi (an honorific used for people you are unfamiliar with.. usually used in terms of Ms or Mr)!’ his eyes beamed, his head not arranged the way it was thirty years ago.
‘Look.. Look, isn’t she beautiful?’
‘Ineed she is, Mr Park.’
All the young nurse could do was smile.. She was meant for greater things, but here she ended up..
‘Her name’s Y/N, she’s my wife.’
‘Do you want me to tell you about her?’ he smiled, he smiled.. for a second, he wasn’t old or cranky.. He was a twenty-seven year old boy who had eyes for no one else but his beloved..
She didn’t answer, he simply smiled.. The same stars missing from the constellation in his eyes returned to where they are meant to be..
‘She was beautiful! She had a heart of gold! She always wanted to visit many places! Oh, how I wish I could have brought her all around the world! Instead, we were trapped between four walls.. Confined to our homes, tied to our jobs.. We were poor.. Very-’
‘Oh! But, you know.. My sweet! She was- she never let that define her as a person or change that heart of hers! She’s so precious! She’s-’
‘Oh- she’s my-’
*crash*
‘Mr park! Mr park!’
‘We have an emergency!’
Jimin would live to be 57, he wouldn’t live to land on the moon nor would he live to the times where phones would travel oceans and miles beyond where it is in a person’s hands.
Jimin would retire at 40, find out that he has a terrible heart condition at 45 and- One day, he would choose to witness you live a life without him - a new one - with a different name, and different people by your side.. Even if it is painful, and even if it is that you have no recollection of him...
Jimin’s lived a happy life, and he’s happy to witness yet another one of yours - even if it ended in tragedy..
I guess, this is goodbye..
‘She was an angel..’
*beep*
Do not fear though.. for all endings have beginnings..
The Cherry Blossoms of Fortunes Welcomes You
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pffbts · 2 years
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[01:28 AM] from jimin
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―no, don’t say anything. you don’t have to send your reply to this on my way. perhaps, just listen to me as i say this―that, i like you and i just want to hold you close to myself, under this blanket as the never-ending rain brings us to this world’s end. take this like learning that the moon revolves around the earth at school, a certain piece of information you can never forget. no, really, please stay under the covers and go back to sleep. maybe for the last time, just listen to me tell you this―that, i love you and i want to meet you again even in your dreams.
delivered.
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