Bilbo: You have no idea what I am capable of!
Thorin: Don’t take it personally, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
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Thorin: I always assume everything’s a trap. That’s why I’m still alive.
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Gandalf: I’m heading to the Shire. You need anything?
Thorin: I want my home back.
Gandalf: Yeah, I got 12 gold.
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Thorin: I apologize for Kili's actions - something I find myself doing quite frequently.
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Balin: So, where’s your happy place?
Thorin: I’m in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Inside it’s just me and that stupid, slimy Azog. And I’m beating the hell out of him. I break a dining room table over his head. Then I rip off his arm and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Then I reach down his throat... and shake his hand.
Balin: Yeah. Okay. I’m going to go ahead and schedule you for a psych eval.
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Pippin: I will now drink 8 glasses of milk in 3 minutes.
Sam: Nope! No you won't, no you won't because if you do that, you will die.
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Asking The Company the Worm Question Part 2
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Asking The Company the Worm Question Part 1
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Bilbo: I don't have any weapons, but I'm going to really give that dragons a piece of my mind.
Gandalf: His words can be very cutting.
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Eowyn: Sometimes the best man for the job is a woman.
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Ori: You have got to love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can gauge someones eyes out with tiny silvers of metal. I can make mittens.
Bilbo: What was that middle part?
Ori: I can make a hat.
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Thorin: Okay, you know what? You're in timeout! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!
Kili: This house is a FUCKING nightmare!
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Bilbo: The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere, but not me… I’m completely clueless.
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Aragorn: That's the plan, any questions?
Pippin: (raises hand)
Aragorn: Yes, Pippin, you raised your hand?
Pippin: Your hair looks pretty.
Aragorn: Ah, not a question, but thank you.
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Kili: For the last time, I never brag.
Fili: You once called your face the "proof of Mahal's existence."
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Pippin: guess what
Pippin: no u have to guess
Sam: ?? idk
Pippin: Frodo's in the hospital
Sam: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME GUESS THAT WHAT HAPPENED
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Thorin: I gotta be honest, I’ve got some real idiots giving me advice.
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Kili: We have fun, don’t we, Mr. Boggins?
Bilbo: I’ve never been more stressed out in my entire life.
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After getting together with Tauriel
Kili: It’s going weirdly well.
Fili: Weirdly well?
Kili: Yeah like, I’m afraid.
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Sam: What's it like to be taller than 5'2"? Is it nice? Can you comfortably reach cupboards?
Boromir (after meeting Merry and Pippin): We live in constant fear of the short ones, who——in my experience——will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.
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