#incorrect the hobbit quotes
Aragorn: Call the hobbits, they’re not listening to me.
Boromir: I’m not their dad!
Aragorn: Just do it.
Boromir: Ok guys! Line up, let’s move out!
*the hobbits immediately start following him*
Boromir: no listen LISTEN i’m not their-
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Bilbo: You have no idea what I am capable of!
Thorin: Don’t take it personally, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
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Kili Trying To Help Catch The "Traitor"...—
Kili: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Bilbo: Excuse me?
Kili: No wait—
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Tilda: I'm Tilda, I'm Legolas' step sister. That's not my real name though, it's just a nickname.
Elrond: So what's Tilda short for?
Legolas: Her genetics, I guess.
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Bofur: Ugh, my life's the worst!
Bilbo: Here's a piece of candy.
Bofur: Yay, I love candy!
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Thorin: I always assume everything’s a trap. That’s why I’m still alive.
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Gimli: You’re pretty dumb.
Gimli: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.
Legolas: All I heard was “You’re pretty.” I’m focusing on the positives in life.
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Gandalf: I’m heading to the Shire. You need anything?
Thorin: I want my home back.
Gandalf: Yeah, I got 12 gold.
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Naya, arm wrestling with a struggling Kíli: Awe look at that, he is about to beat me...
Thorin: What is he trying to win?
Dís: Another night at the tavern.
Thorin: Stop playing with him.
Naya: *smashes Kíli's hand onto the table*
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Pippin: Gandaaaaaalf, Merry called me a bitch!
Gandalf: Stop being a bitch then.
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Thorin: I apologize for Kili's actions - something I find myself doing quite frequently.
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Thorin: There are three ways we can do this; the right way, the wrong way, or the Thorin way.
Bilbo: Isn't that also the wrong way?
Kili, whispering: Yeah, but faster.
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Aragorn: I’m well aware that I’ve accidentally set myself on fire and it’s none of your buisness. I don’t need your pity water, either. Let me burn in peace.
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Thorin: It’s a war zone around here. What happened?
Bilbo: Well, Fíli and Kíli-
Thorin: Ah, that makes sense.
Kíli *off to the side*: Hey!
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Balin: So, where’s your happy place?
Thorin: I’m in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Inside it’s just me and that stupid, slimy Azog. And I’m beating the hell out of him. I break a dining room table over his head. Then I rip off his arm and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Then I reach down his throat... and shake his hand.
Balin: Yeah. Okay. I’m going to go ahead and schedule you for a psych eval.
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Thorin: this date is boring
Y/N: I was going to get groceries. This isn’t a date
Thorin: Then why did you ask me out on a date?
Y/N: I did not. I specifically told you I was going to the market and that I didn’t want you to come with me, but you proceeded to tell me “I can make my own decisions” and “you don’t tell me what to do”.
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Y/N: I’m proud owner of the IQ of 5 (and a half!)
Kili: Not for long
Y/N: please it’s all i have
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Legolas: This is a list of possible places Merry and Pippin could be brought to.
Gimli: .....that’s a map of Middle-Earth
Aragorn: Yeah, we have no idea where they are
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Aragorn, in the middle of the battle of the black gate: Hey Legolas do you have any starbursts?
Legolas, in a fight to the death with a hill troll: I've got like 3? But the pink one is mine.
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