thestrugglingauthor

[thestrugglingauthor]

Burn (a short story)

The fire burned her eyes and the smoke made her cough, but she didn’t regret starting it. She had to get out of there, even if it killed her. After all, death was just another form of escape. Anywhere would be better than the two-hundred square foot shed that had been her home for the past four months.

           She heard footsteps tramping across the grass, and a voice mumbled words that she couldn’t make out, but she knew it was him. She held her shirt over her mouth, trying to find breathable air. She was poised to the left of the door, opposite the hinges, waiting for her captor to become her rescuer. At last, she heard his angry, muffled voice and the click of the multitude of locks. She counted each one as her heart accelerated. One…two…three…four…five…

           The door burst open, and she seized her moment. As his lanky bodied staggered into the smoke-filled room, she thrust the door into him. He staggered backwards, giving her just enough time to slip past him and out into the yard. Without even stopping to catch her breath, she took off running across the field. The sunlight burned her eyes, and she stumbled and fell, catching herself with her hands on the way down. She could hear his footsteps thundering behind her. He may have been clumsy, but it didn’t slow him down much at all.

           As she scrambled to stand back up, he reached out to grab her sweatshirt, just barely snatching its hood in his slimy hand. She gasped for air as she was thrown back onto the ground. He was on top of her, and she tried to scream, but the smoke had taken her voice. Hands were swinging wildly as she tried to scratch, hit, or punch him, but his grip on her wrists was too strong. Thinking on her toes, she forced her knee up into his crotch, sending him reeling onto his back in pain. She rolled over and was on her feet again, this time sprinting at full capacity.

She continued to cough, trying to clear her throat, but she couldn’t muster up a loud enough scream. Eventually, she could hear his footsteps again. He didn’t dare call out after her for fear that someone might hear, although there didn’t appear to be any houses around for miles. When she finally made it to a road, she was nearly run over by a passing minivan. She ran after the vehicle, manically waving her arms in the air. As it sped on, her throat tightened, and it became harder for her to breathe.

Defeated, she turned around to see that he was still after her, and he wasn’t slowing down. This was it, she thought. She wondered where she would live now that her shed had burned. Would someone come to investigate the fire, or would they assume it was on purpose? Would he even bother to keep her around anymore?

When she turned her eyes back to the road, however, the minivan had turned around and was headed her way. She ran faster and waved her arms with great purpose. As it came to a stop on the side of the road, she turned around once more, but he was gone.

“Honey, are you alright?” A middle-aged man with a greying hair and a mild Midwestern accent had gotten out of the van and was cautiously making his way over to her. She could see what she assumed to be his wife and two kids staring at her from the van windows.

“What’s your name?” the man asked.

“Casey,” she said, finally finding her voice. “My name is Casey.”

“Well, Casey, can we take you somewhere? Home, perhaps?”

“Yes.” She didn’t swallow the lump in her throat, this time. “Home.”

��R�:

#short story #flash fiction #class #college #burn #casey #fire #fast fiction #hoperenae #mine #original #copyright

[thestrugglingauthor]

The Thief

I want to tell him everything,

but how can I?

There are too many “what ifs,”

too many risks I’m not prepared to take,

too many doors I can’t push open.

  Sharing a room with him is torture.

I’ve convinced myself that some

of him is better than none,

but perhaps I am wrong.

  Sometimes he leaves

and I am okay.

But sometimes he leaves

and I think he has taken

my breath with him,

a part of me.

  I crumple to the floor,

melting into a puddle

of my own insecurities.

I am broken.

  He has stolen my heart,

and I don’t know

how to get it back.

#thief #love #relationships #well it's not a relationship and that's the proble #but yeah i'm in a bit of a pickle #heart #poetry #Poetry Slam #poetryriot #original #poem #mine #hoperenae #thestrugglingauthor

[thestrugglingauthor]

The Leader We Need: A poem for the inauguration of Donald J. Trump

November 9, 2016

 A nation divided by hate

must come together in love.

Take the fear, the anger,

and the passion

and let it propel you

towards a better life.

A life where a woman can walk

alone at night without fear.

A life where a black man can

reach into his jacket pocket

and not draw the eyes of passersby.

A life where two people of the same

gender can declare their love

in front of family and friends.

A life where we don’t have to wonder

if our leader will send us tumbling into war,

if our freedom will cease to exist.

  So go forth on this day, Donald J. Trump,

and show us how to Make America Great Again.

Show the people that you fight for them.

You advocate for their rights.

You oversee their best interests.

You preserve their freedom.

  Be the leader that this country

needs you to be.

#make america great again #this was an exercise we had to do in class #i strongly dislike this man so much but i wanted to be a little hopeful #get it #cause my name is hope #okay i'm done now #donald trump #america #poem #poetry #election 2016 #the end

[thestrugglingauthor]

The Ones Who Leave

It’s crazy how quickly people can walk

in and out of your life.

Especially the ones who say

they’ll never leave.

Those are the ones that hurt the most.

It’s unbearable.

You feel as if you will never

be whole again.

I feel like I’m always the one who keeps giving

pieces of myself away,

and people just toss them aside

like it’s nothing.

And then they leave.

They always leave.

#leaving

[thestrugglingauthor]

You never know when someone is going to break your heart. You can’t prepare for it, and it always feels out of the blue. Sometimes the only way to get through it is to allow yourself to hurt. Feel the pain flow within your veins and out through your tears. Let it consume you. 

#heartbreak #writing #personal #me #thestrugglingauthor #hoperenae

[thestrugglingauthor]

This is a cento I wrote combining the works of Amy Hassinger, Miles Waggener, and Gregory Pardlo.

Wake up, stinging halo,

newly minted Jesus freak.

Flow freely from a flaming cresset,

flaky and iridescent, like mineral fingernails.

Push the walls away while you stare at the ceiling.

This time around you’re going home.

Panhandles look you right in the eye.

She was a small link on a bigger chain.

Am I proud of this? no I am not.

I come and kneel before your museum,

these memories preserved like people of Pompeii.

After it was all over there was nothing,

but his face is a drawer of useless keys

#cento #poetry #amy hassinger #miles waggener #gregory pardlo #my poem #original #compilation

[thestrugglingauthor]

Sometimes it seems impossible that everything will be okay again. It hurts too much. It feels too hopeless. It seems like a lost cause. But then you think back to the last time you thought you would never be okay again, and you realize that you overcame it. There is always hope. Always. 

#hope #struggles #everything is going to be okay #life will go on #pain will end #thestrugglingauthor #hoperenae #always #tomorrow will be better #if not tomorrow then the next day or next week or next month #but it will get better #i promise

[thestrugglingauthor]

Courage is a Funny Thing

Courage is a funny thing.

 Imagine a road

You don’t know where it goes

You don’t know how long it is

And you don’t know what lies along it

 But you drive

You make the journey

Because you need to escape

From the prison that is your mind

From the maniacal chuckles of your demons

From the exhausting entity that is reality

 Courage is a funny thing.

 Imagine a hole

You don’t know where it leads

You don’t know how deep it is

And you don’t know what lies at the bottom

 But you jump

You fall to the depths

Because you need to discover

The world that lies beneath the ground

The alluring mysteries of the unknown

The deepest parts of what we hope to be true.

 Courage is a funny thing.

#courage is a funny thing #courage #poetry slam #poem #personal #writing #hoperenae #thestrugglingauthor #poetry #poetry riot

[thestrugglingauthor]

Roller Coaster

I just can’t seem to figure you out.

Well,

that’s not entirely true.

Maybe it’s me I can’t figure out.

All the twists and turns my emotions take

remind me of that roller coaster in Kansas City,

the one that takes you backwards through a loop.

My feelings for you are that infinite loop.

They just keep going

around and around and around and around.

It’s making me sick.

Not lovesick,

just sick.

Sick with confusion and confliction.

Have patience, they say,

for one day you will know;

one day you will have it all figured out.

Patience is a virtue,

but love is not patient.

Damn.

I just can’t seem to figure you out.

#damn #roller coaster #relationships #poem #poetry #poetry riot #love #like #confusion #confliction #kansas city #world's of fun #patience #virtue #life #guys #sick #hoperenae #thestrugglingauthor #personal #writing

[thestrugglingauthor]

I think one of the most underrated things is the symbolism behind deleting old text messages. 

Backstory: So I used to like this guy. Let’s call him Joe. I could see a lot of potential with me and Joe, but eventually, we just stopped talking to each other and he moved on to bigger and better things. Meanwhile I was still stuck wondering what could have been. 

Recently: I was going through my phone and deleting things to free up space (damn iPhones) when I came across our messages. We hadn’t talked in a little less than 2 months, and I realized I hadn’t even thought about him in probably that long as well. 

So: I swiped my finger to the left and clicked the big red delete button because it is time to push aside the things that don’t matter anymore in order to make room for those that do.

It feels pretty damn good.

#old texts #messages #you #boys #iphone #iphone 5 #ramble #emotions #personal #me #writer #thestrugglingauthor #hoperenae #relationships #joe #hope

[thestrugglingauthor]

(this is a poem I wrote in the manner of Christian Hawkey’s Ventrakl)

The coarse yearning was faint in the moonlight. 

The rounded dance of the down-pouring sphere,

an aurora of temperate colors, buried him in the night. 

The sea he once possessed, now tart on his tongue. 

What once your mind passed over, now obsolete, 

fixated in the mouth of a simple rose. 

Roses were found amongst the slurred pages, 

ailing the grieving, illuminating the way like a current. 

The battles he gave way to were of tenacious origin, 

but none chastised his brutal judgements.

Perfumes of his past echoed through their aura.

Patient whispers surrounded the pile of dyed asteroid, 

collecting his journal of independent innocence. 

The realm of an entire soul succumbed to the weeps of many,

proclaiming the song of a cool, dead heart.

Leaving nothing but their regards.

#hawkey #ventrakl #poetry #poems #death #original #poetryriot

[thestrugglingauthor]

Gone Too Soon

Gone too soon was a boy with tousled blonde hair and a smile that illuminated a room. Gone too soon, was his dry sense of humor and his severely contagious laugh. Gone too soon, leaving his footprints behind creating imprints on our hearts. Gone too soon, taken by his own two hands, but by the actions of another. Gone too soon, to be grieved by those he loved and those who loved him. Gone too soon, but never to be forgotten.

#gone too soon #poetry #poem #poetryriot #Landon #worldsuicidepreventionday #suicide #writing #hoperenae #struggling author

[thestrugglingauthor]

I Once Met A Man

I once met a man

Who wore ripped and ragged clothes

Who didn’t speak much

Who carried a gray backpack

full of mystery and adventure

  I once met a man

Who wore casual clothes

Who nodded in passing

Who carried a black umbrella

even on the sunniest of days

  I once met a man

Who wore square glasses

Who paused to say hello

Who carried a brown satchel

with papers fluttering out the sides

 I once met a man

Who wore a dark suit

Who spoke to complete strangers

Who carried a leather briefcase

with embossed initials and a gold handle

#poetry #personal #me #thestrugglingauthor #hoperenae #writing #original

[thestrugglingauthor]

It’s Okay

Now that my freshman year of college has come to a close, I have realized that I have learned quite a few important things this year. 

My entire life I have been called shy, and it really bothers me that people see this as a bad thing. I personally don't consider myself shy anymore, but I am definitely more introverted. I prefer to stay in and play video games or watch Netflix on a Friday night than go out and get drunk like most of my peers. I don't have anything against that lifestyle, I just don't understand why people feel the need to criticize my life choices. If staying home on the weekends is what makes me happy, then who are you to say that what I'm doing is wrong or bad? 

So for all you shy people out there that have a hard time making friends and prefer not to go out every night, that's okay. How you live your life is completely up to you. That being said, don't be afraid to venture out into the world every once in a while. Take little risks here and there, and learn something new. 

And above all, love who you are and don't be afraid to share your lovely self with others. 

#it's okay #shyness #introvert #shy #college #freshman year #netflix #video games #girl #thoughts #blog #hoperenae #thestrugglingauthor

[thestrugglingauthor]

I just think that society as a whole is losing the ability to love. We have become so obsessed with having everything at our fingertips, that we’ve forgotten one very important thing. Love isn’t meant to be experienced in an instant, but in a lifetime.

#love #relationships #dating #realization #yup #yuuuuuup #idk #hoperenae #thestrugglingauthor #hope #generation #society

[thestrugglingauthor]

His features were striking. His light, tousled [disheveled] hair spiked at the top, but in a soft way. His eyes were bright and wide, glistening in the dim light. The stubble on his face brought out his strong yet somehow soft jawline. When he grinned at me in the cunning way he always does, my heart pounded against my rib cage, and I couldn't help but grin back. I put my hands on his chest, stood on my toes, and planted a light kiss on his small and gentle lips. He wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and spun me around, gazing into my eyes with that goofy grin. When he set me down, he put his hands on my face. I rested my hands on his bony hips and got lost in his wild green eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered with a passion and intensity I hadn't heard before.

“I love you so much,” I whispered back.

#this is sort of for a fanfic im writing but theres no way in hell im telling any of you people what its about #thestrugglingauthor #hoperenae #hope #love #relationships

[thestrugglingauthor]

"There's always the possibility of getting hurt, but you have to get hurt a few times in order for someone to come along and fix you."

#me #quote #personal #advice #love #falling #relationships #heartbroken #heartbreak #hurt #fix you