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maybe-your-left · 3 years

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ASK FRIDAY - CREATE A SCENARIO: roommates trope with Kylo

Due to some last minute room swapping and late registering Reader and Kylo end up in the same dorm but they're mad about it and hate each other (cue intense sexual tension)

Dorm room, Snowed in, evening time like 6

The heater/power has just gone out and Kylo knows a few ways to get warm...only if Readers up for it...

been working on this for FOREVER ANON.

I loved it!

Crushed

TW: NSFW, dirty talk, dom/sub vibes, exhibitionism, kinda fluff, Kylos not that nice and is an entitled man.

Oh yeah, you fuckin’ slut.

Yes-Yes-Yes!

‘M gonna cum all over your fucking tits.

You slapped the wall next to your bed, hard.

“Can you guys keep it down! It’s 1 in the morning!”

Muffled voices came through the paper-thin wall, sounding like bodies moving to the floor. Good, you thought, at least he will get rug burn from the shitty carpet, might keep him from fucking everything that moves.

A hard knock on the wall pulled you from that thought.

“Go read your fucking Bible! I’m trying to get my dick wet!”

“Please!”

“Why don’t you go get fucked!?”

Some giggled came through next, followed by more muffled whispering. You whined loudly, trying to ignore the sounds of him fucking whatever bimbo your dormmate had in his lair. Shoving your face into your pillow, muffling your tears and wails.

You turned on your TV, drowning out the final act of his performance. Fingers poised over your keyboard to file another noise complaint with the RA… not like they ever helped you. The last time they intervened they left with a black eye and broken nose, shrugging for you to sort it out yourselves.

A door slammed shut, you let out a sigh of relief.

At least he wasn’t a cuddler.

You climbed out of bed, tip-toeing to your door to take a peek of whatever slut found her way into his room this evening. The special lady was a new cinderella every fucking week, he didn’t even try to know their names. You heard him admit it once in class to his friends, saying he called them all ‘baby’ so he wouldn’t have to learn.

You peeked out the door, blinking from the harsh fluorescent lighting of your dingy dorm halls. The walls were a screaming white, yellowing from years of shoddy cleaning. You tried to clean your room when you first came to school, but it was too disgusting.

A non-smoking dorm, ha. Everyone smoked, especially your neighbor.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed creeper?”

You jumped at his voice, exhaling harshly through your nose. You steeled your features, caught red-handed looking for his latest prey. Crossing your arms defensively, not that there was anything to hide. You were in your ratty pj’s, they were on sale at Old Navy a few years ago and you never threw them away even though they barely fit anymore.

“If you’re so interested in being a cuck,” he grinned at you, flashing his crooked teeth, “I would love to have you over for an encore, I’m sure you’d love to watch me in action.”

“Buzz off, Ren.”

“Ooo, angry tonight,” he smirked, now stepping out of his door frame. You choked a little at his appearance, no shirt on, basketball shorts barely hanging off his hips. Dangerously low, seriously, if he took one wrong move they would be on the floor. His chest was covered in fresh scratch marks, no doubt from his latest victim, a sheen of sweat glistening under the lights.

Fuck, he was good-looking.

But he was terrible.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, daring you to stare back at him.

You gulped, caught again. You were better than that, you were just tired from being kept up since ten with his version of ‘love-making’.

“My eyes are up here cupcake,” he stepped forward. Pushing you back into your doorframe, almost inside your sanctuary. “If you ever decide you want to break your vow of chastity, I’m right next door.”

“Step away from me, Kylo.”

He cocked his brow, “I love when you’re mean, come on. Let’s see if kitty has claws.”

You bared your teeth, fists balling under your underarms, “Not even if you were the last man on Earth.”

He shrugged, backing away from you.

“Deal, bitch.”

You moved to shut your door on him, “Go away.”

“See you in class, bright and early.”

------

When you imagined leaving for college, it was different.

Saying goodbye to your parents, packing your car with whatever small valuables you owned. Determined to make a name for yourself all the way across the country, no friends or family, truly on your own. You imagined everything would be different, the dorm would be filled with new and friendly faces.

RA’s greeting you as you parked outside, giving you a tour and maybe a group lunch with all your floormates. Getting to know each other, maybe even going to some new-student orientation event they planned for the newbies.

Classes were smooth, acing all your major requirements. Professors were kind and ready to help you at any moment, letting your artistic vision flow through your body every morning with your 8 AM yoga class.

But no.

Instead, you registered late.

Your classes all at the worst times, bright and early.

Second rate dorm, COED even… smelly dudes between your single bedroom which would be better defined as a broom closet. Burping and fucking on both sides of you while you tried to study. Your major requirement classes were boring and filled with pretentious art students who thought they were the next Picasso.

Professors didn’t care if you lived or died, only focusing on the bell schedule because they couldn’t control what the freshmen did in their classes.

Your options for clubs were limited, either join a sport or a cult.

And worst of all.

Kylo Ren.

He was your neighbor, signed up late just like you. You actually arrived at the same time, he pushed you down on your ass in the lobby so he could be checked in first. Calling you a clumsy bitch, only for you both to be handed keys to the same floor. Right next to each other, sharing a flimsy wall.

On top of that, he was an art major like you.

And since he registered late, he was in almost every class.

Even yoga!

He took your mat the first day, leaving you in tears in the hallway. He apologized afterward, handing it back to you before storming off to be with his beefy upper-class friends. Any moment he could, Ren would humiliate you. Trying to push your buttons, whistling at you when you had to cross the hallway to the showers. Tripping you when you had your hands full, making fun of you for hanging out with your sparse group of friends.

And when he found out you were annoyed with him making noise, he latched onto it.

One week he decided to recite the entire Phantom of the Opera, just because you mentioned in class that you loved that play.

He did every part, even the musical scores, you could’ve sworn he did it with a megaphone on the wall, just to spite you.

Your parents told you ‘he just likes you, he’s a boy.’

No!

That’s not how people express feelings, at least not healthy people.

Your alarm clock blared on your nightstand, you didn’t sleep so it didn’t bother you. Letting out a heavy sigh of defeat, Ren ruined another night for you, a night you’d never get back. Of precious, precious sleep that you desperately deserved.

Slipping on some plum leggings and a sports bra. No one gave a fuck about your outfit in your early morning class, as long as you went with clothes on. You popped on your headphones, trying to drone out the noise of Ren’s music through the wall. He liked to blast some god-awful music every morning.

Today, it was an old Black Veil Brides album!

You made it out of the dining hall, snatching a muffin for breakfast. Smiling at some guys you knew, waving at your friend Rose as you stormed off to the gym. The cold chill of Winter biting at your nose, it was too cold to not wear a full outfit. But there was no time, with Ren keeping you up all night and classes back to back, you didn’t have time to fuck around with dressing up.

Ren ran in after you, laughing with his friends. Big nose all red from the frost, his hair looked frozen to his scalp, probably showered beforehand. You rolled out your mat, trying to stretch while he bragged about the pussy he got last night. Making a big show of your complaining, saying you were desperate to fuck him based on your whining.

You rolled your eyes when he planted next to you, “Good morning, you ran out in a hurry.”

“I didn’t want to be late,” you sneered, not giving him the time of day, still stretching your back into child's-pose.

“How are we supposed to walk together if you run away from me, cupcake?”

You scoffed, shooting him an icy glare. Despite him grinning at you like the happiest man on Earth, god, you needed to stop giving him a reaction. That would shut him up if you didn’t give him the attention he is clearly lacking from his parental figures.

“Good morning class,” your teacher greeted you calmly, “I hope you’re all doing well. As you all know, this next week is finals week, I’m offering makeup classes to those of you who need to make up some credit hours. We are also hosting some meditation if you need time to relax between classes.”

Next to you, Ren leaned towards your mat, setting his hand right behind your back. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was hovering. Ready to devour you like a piece of meat.

“Hey,” he chuckled.

You stayed quiet, pushing back into his arm so he would move. Ren stayed put, purring in your ear, “Did you sleep well?”

“Move off my mat, Ren.”

He smirked down at you, “You seem stressed, do you want me to help by fucking your brains out.”

You shot off your mat, effectively knocking him onto his back. Laughing loudly in a relatively silent room of students trying to center themselves. He grinned from the floor, hands up in the air in defense, “I’m just offering to help you, Jesus!”

“Just,” you pointed in his face, hair falling out of your ponytail. Everyone was staring at you, even your instructor. Shocked you were yelling, you barely spoke in class, at the scariest person in your class.

“Just, leave me alone.”

------

Ren avoided you for the rest of the week, mostly.

Still had his nightly fuck-more subdued though, you had on noise-canceling headphones to try and focus on studying. There were still so many classes to get to, and you wouldn’t be finished until the day before Winter break… you were desperate to get this over with.

You missed your family, the plane ticket itself cost you a whole month of meals.

Of course, you would do fine in your classes, it was just the motivation to get there. Every morning you glared at Ren when he greeted you in yoga, still standing next to you like a menacing shadow.

This morning was no different, only you skipped class to study in the library. Bundled up in your winter coat, long black scarf, hair in a lazy braid, and thermal leggings on. The wind had picked up last night, bringing on an ice storm that wasn’t expected until late next week. You walked on treacherous sidewalks, dodging all the other students who were seeking the warmth of the library.

You settled inside, sprawling your books and laptop on an old desk. Grabbing out a few sketch pads so you could finish up some pieces that were due in a couple hours. Most of your finals in art were ‘unconventional’ which meant the professor wanted to see what you were motivated to work on during the year.

For yours, you had decided to draw the people you saw on campus.

Studying their faces, mannerisms, languages while they were in an organic environment. It was a great piece, and one of your professors was very interested in showcasing it in a show. You were proud, it wasn’t large but it was important for you and you wanted it to be perfect before turning it in.

Your pastels were spread out, fingertips smudged and stained from charcoal, a few lines on your face and brow from forgetting about the streaks. There was this one person you couldn’t finish, it was one of your friends from last week. She was laughing and holding a drink, the expression wide and full of emotion but it was hard for you to capture without her being there.

But you steeled yourself, you weren’t leaving this spot until you finished her.

“You smudged that dude's face,” a low voice rumbled behind you. A finger pointing down at the top left corner, “Stop-don’t touch it.”

You moved to swat the hand away, not wanting some random guy to ruin your piece with their grubby fingers. Recentering yourself, he wasn’t smudged, he was just in the corner so it looked like it wasn’t finished… what did he know, anyway?

“You didn’t draw me?”

Now you stopped, why you didn’t recognize the timbre of his voice was ridiculous.

You let out a long sigh, “Please, don’t touch the canvas, Kylo. It’s not ready, yet.”

The chair that housed your backpack slid out next to you, your things tossed on the ground carelessly before Ren sat. You scooted away from him, he smelled like he just showered. Judging by his wet hair you were probably right… “What are you doing?”

He shrugged, fiddling with one of your notebooks. Flipping through pages carelessly, “I don’t know-you weren’t in yoga so.”

“So,” you gave him a weird look, “You stalked me to the library?”

“There’s no reason to go to yoga if I can’t bother you,” he flashed a smile, dropping it slightly when he saw you weren’t playing back with him.

Silence fell over you both, the only noises the heat kicking in around the scuffling of boots and shoes to face the weather again.

“I like your piece,” he gestured to your work, “For drawing, right?”

You nodded stiffly, not enjoying his friendly tone. Like he wasn’t your demon neighbor who made it his job to annoy you and had for the past four months of your life. Ren shifted again, now leaning on the table with his cheek resting on his forearm. Looking at you with wide eyes, you never took the time to look at his face.

He had very large eyes that betrayed his emotions. Swimming with flecks of auburn, gold, and some streaks of green, blinking slowly as he studied your canvas. You looked away from him, trying to ignore the urge to draw them, how his long lashes rivaled your own. How his skin was freckled with beauty marks, creases from frowning lined his forehead and nose. You could even make out his stubble, some pieces he must’ve missed the last time he shaved.

You went back to drawing, no longer focusing on it. Just trying to understand what was happening, your tormentor was a foot away from you. Breathing calmly like a cat laying in a patch of sun. Hunched over the edge, torso too long to rest like a normally proportioned human being, had he always been this big?

“Wanna get coffee before class?”

“Huh?”

You blinked slowly, not registering that he spoke to you.

Ren leaned off, letting out a big yawn and scratching the back of his neck.

Yes, definitely a cat.

“Do you want to get coffee,” he stared blankly, “Before we head to English?”

You looked down at your mess, then back up at him. Shaking your head softly, voice quiet as a mouse, “No-thank you.”

He exhaled harshly, “I’m not gonna burn you with it, it’s just coffee.”

“No, I’m fine,” you said firmer, “I wanna work on this some more.”

Ren stayed still, probably trying to think of a way to get you to agree with him. You had known him long enough to know he doesn’t like people disagreeing with him. Didn’t have to be a college graduate to see that the man had issues with control, hence terrorizing you all semester. You didn’t want to offer him an olive branch, because he was just doing it as a joke. Probably, waiting until you were calm around him to do something cruel.

You went back to drawing, listening to him get up and leave you. Mumbling something under his breath about ‘trying to be nice’ before walking out. You shook off the awkwardness, not willing to break down and let him do something nice for you, just because he didn’t ruin your final piece didn’t mean he wouldn’t do something in the future.

The day was still young.

------

Oddly enough, Ren didn’t bother you that evening.

Not even a door slam!

You almost thought he was dead, but you saw him in the hallway when you were walking to the bathroom. Wrapped in your robe, caddy in hand, he didn’t whistle or try to touch your ass like he normally did. Just a stale smile before closing himself back in his room.

Not to waste the precious quiet, you went to work packing your bags for your trip tomorrow. Deciding to do a quick load of laundry, your hall was almost empty, so no one would be down there while you waited.

Piling up your hamper, you threw your pj's and slippers on. Remembering to grab a blanket and your laptop so you could hang out down there while you waited.

Your friends back home were all excited to see you, ready to hear all about your time away. The boys you met, friends you made, classes, all that. So excited to get home and see your cat, Gremlin, he was all alone without you. Your mom sent you pictures earlier of him curled in your blankets, saying that he knew you were coming home soon.

Maybe next Fall you could get an apartment, you didn’t want to leave him for another year.

A washing machine door slammed shut next to you, causing you to jump from your perch atop your own. Faced with Ren, who was doing his laundry in his pjs, or his version of pjs. Giving you another tight-lipped smile before leaning against the far wall. Yawning loudly before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

You ignored him, turning back to your laptop that was playing a crime documentary. Texting some friends to keep your mind from wandering to Ren and why he was in such a mood.

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Ren called from his wall.

You pretended to not hear him, refocusing on the documentary, there was something very interesting happening and you weren’t about to miss how they found the killer's shoe prints in the mud just because Ren was trying to talk to you.

Then something was thrown at you, and it smelled awful.

“Oh-my-god!”

You shot off the washing machine, throwing down the offending garment. Ren was laughing loudly, “Chill out! It was just an old shirt!”

“How old was it?!”

He smiled at you from the ground, propping an elbow on his kneecap. One leg stretched out on the tile, you tried to regain a sense of calm, he was just messing with you again. Just take some deep breaths… in-out-in

“Are you leaving tomorrow, after our final?”

You let out your deep breath, sitting back on the washer. “Yeah,” you paused your show since mister meanie wanted to have a tea party. “I have to get to the airport right after.”

He hummed, “Same.”

The washer beeped loudly, echoing in the otherwise empty room. Ren watched you hop off, fixing your shorts which definitely rode up too much. Trying to not flash him your underwear as you bent to move your clothes to a dryer. You cursed when a sock fell from your pile, great.

“How come we’ve never fucked?”

Now all your clothes were on the floor.

Along with Ren, who was staring at you like you were an art exhibit.

You dragged your clothes back to the washer. There was no way you were finishing now that they touched the dirty floor, no one cleaned down here and just because it looked clean didn’t mean-

A whistle, “You good over there?”

“Yup.”

“Okay,” you heard him stretch, popping his joints as he lifted off the floor. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck as he closed in. Almost touching you, no escape, “As I was saying, how come you’ve never let me steal your virginity?”

You scoffed, “I am not a virgin.”

Ren pressed into you, pushing you against the washer now. Grinding his hips into your own, you squirmed, trying to dispel every fantasy flooding your brain. Every night you spent listening to him through the wall, imagining just once that it was you. If he weren’t such a monster, you would have gladly laid on your back and let him do whatever he wanted.

“Nothing?”

You took a deep breath, placing both palms on the top of the washer. Biting your lip as you silently pleaded for him to let you go, but also continue. You could smell his cologne from this close, how it complimented him so well. Mixing in with his dark aura, you wanted nothing more than to spin around and…

Soon you were doing just that, but not on your own violation.

Ren had his hands grasping your hips, thumbs slipping under the fabric of your t-shirt to caress your soft skin. Lips capturing your own, you froze in his hold. Unsure of what to do, a part of you wanted to scream and smack him, but the other part loved the smell of his toothpaste.

He relaxed when you relaxed, your lips still awkwardly locked together. Not opening and allowing for more, but not moving away either. You stared at him, startled to see him looking back at you. Pulling back slightly, you watched his face chase yours. Bringing your lips together a few more times, kissing at the seam.

You felt his tongue flick for entry, trying to pry your mouth open so he could explore. When you didn’t move he finally huffed in annoyance, “I know it’s your first kiss, but you’re supposed to open your mouth.”

You groaned, bringing both hands to cradle his cheeks. There was no way he was going to make fun of you, he initiated this so.

Ren made a muffled noise when you pressed your lips back together. Probably of shock and surprise, because, no. This was not your first kiss, not even your fourth or fifth kiss. Working your tongue skillfully into his mouth, you moaned softly at his taste. Just like you imagined… not that you put much stock into this but… it was wonderful.

Bringing your fingers to the nape of his neck, tugging on his dark brown hair. Just like you always wanted to, whenever he walked past you with it tied in a bun you dreamt of tearing through it. Ren returned your affection in kind, his left hand moving to the small of your back. Fingers dancing under the waistband of your pajama bottoms.

You heard him swear when he felt the lace underneath, nestled between your cheeks. Ren slid a hand over the globes of your ass, moving his hips in time with his tongue. Tasting every inch of your mouth, even growling in approval when you sunk your teeth into his bottom lip.

Petting and groping each other against the washing machines, the sound of you swapping spit barely heard over the rumble of your clothes. Ren had gotten sick of grinding against your hip bone, pulling away from you for a moment. Shushing your pathetic whimpers, he hooked the hand not cupping your ass behind your left knee.

Hiking it over his hip, opening your legs up. Allowing him to assault your center with his straining erection, oh you could picture it now. How easy it would be to just let him slip inside you.

Right here, in the laundry room.

*Beep*

You pulled back roughly, barely able to unsuction your lips from Rens' own. A string of spit connecting your kiss-bitten lips, he looked at you with pleading eyes. Grinding himself against you harder, pulling a few soft mewls from your throat.

“I need to switch my clothes,” you croaked.

He nodded, shakily setting your limb back on the floor and backing away. You watched through your own lust-filled state as he trembled. Walking back to his far wall, a hand cupping his cock through his sweats. Your throat clicked as you took in a much-needed breath, doing what you said you would.

Setting them in the dryer, all the more aware of his eyes watching your every move.

Not sparing him a glance when you sat back on the washer.

Turning on your laptop once again to watch your crime documentary.

Ignoring the throbbing between your legs, his deep breaths, and your shaking limbs.

------

The TV’s at the airport all said the same thing, “Record snowfall this winter, right before the holidays! Experts say that we will be lucky to keep power until it passes. Our friends on the west coast are enjoying a white Christmas, while we’re stuck in the North Pole.”

All flights have been grounded until further notice.

Stuck.

You could barely make it back to your dorm without crashing.

Bursting into tears several times when you realized you wouldn’t be home until it was over. Wouldn't be able to safely leave your dorm room until it passed, leaving you utterly alone.

You had emailed your RA letting him know your bad luck, he let the staff know you’d be there so they would have food and water running still.

But other than that, this was your holiday.

You slipped on the walk up to your room, sobbing loudly in the halls as you clutched your luggage. No going home, no seeing your friends or family, no Christmas dinner, no personal shower, no Gremlin to sleep on your face.

Collapsing on your bed, curling yourself in the multitude of pillows and blankets that adorned it. The room had shitty heating, the entire building had shitty heating. The entire month of December you’d been freezing, and no amount of personal heaters could fix this kind of cold.

You drifted off to sleep after crying for a few hours, letting your parents know what was happening. Setting alerts for earlier flights, anything you could do to get home. You were so tired in fact, that you slept through a power outage. Leaving the entire building to shut down, no backup generators.

And no heat.

It wasn’t until you felt yourself being lifted that you woke up to the commotion.

Squirming in the kidnappers' arms, limbs aching from freezing for a time in your bedroom. The window must’ve cracked open because it was much colder than when you arrived. Your attacker didn’t let you go, growling in your ear to be still.

Dragging you out of the building, towards a car you didn’t notice when you pulled in. With the snow swirling all around, it was a miracle they could see their own vehicle. You were thrown in the front seat, followed by your luggage tossed in the back. You stayed still, every time you moved it hurt, hypothermia. Common in the New England storms if you were foolish enough to be outside…

You about passed out when the driver's side door opened, Ren climbed in. Looking just as frozen as you, slamming the door shut and mumbling something as he started his car. You could’ve cried when the engine turned, heat blasting between the both of you.

“Hands,” his teeth chattered, holding his own out. He nodded for you to do the same, grasping your pink fingers between his own and blowing on them. “Power went out,” Ren took a shallow breath, “I was leaving and I saw your car. You were almost frozen to your bed, the window broke.”

“Th-thank you-u-u.”

Ren cringed at your fingers, slowly gaining back their normal color. “I tried to grab everything I could, like your backpack and luggage. But we can’t stay there, we’ll fucking freeze.”

You nodded, tugging your hands away to curl into your chest. Thankful that Ren had enough sense to grab blankets, stuffing them in your lap from the backseat. You thought about grabbing your phone, but you could barely make a fist so it would do you no good.

“My plane g-g-got ground-d-ed.”

Ren shivered, nodding sharply, “Mine too, my mom got me a hotel room not far from here to stay until the storm passes. So, I’m taking us there.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract him from the treacherous roads. Thank god he had a Jeep, or else you would’ve died. You couldn’t see more than ten feet ahead, less than that when you were on the highway out of the city.

Ren kept mumbling things like it’s okay, I’m sorry, I know it's cold, whenever you shivered and took in sharp breaths. You must’ve been out for a while, to get this bad. A quick look at the clock in his car said you’d been asleep for three hours, who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t noticed your car…

He helped you out, more carried you, towards the check-in desk. Too worried you would pass out in the car if he left you for too long, the front desk lady was quick and sweet. Making sure to send up extra blankets and pillows to your suite. Ren had you walk up with him, so he wouldn’t have to carry you and the luggage on separate trips.

You clutched his hand like a child, tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. But he was so warm, it’s all you could think about. All you wanted was to be warm, nodding blindly to whatever Ren said to do.

Plug your phone in, check.

Let him talk to your mom, check.

Draw a bath for you, check.

Climb in the bath with you, double-check.

It wasn’t until you were defrosted in the clawfoot tub that you realized you were naked with him.

Rens chest against your back, holding you like his life depended on it. Judging by his shaking, you both were probably suffering from acute hypothermia. You had been silent for so long your voice spooked him a little, “Thank you.”

He hummed into your hair, which was sitting on top of your head in a messy bun. “Are you okay?”

You nodded slowly, “Can we go lay down?”

“Yeah,” Ren hastily got out of the tub, draining it and wrapping you in plush towels. You were still too cold to blush from your nakedness, not how you pictured this going. You imagined you would finally give into him on some drunken party night, barely remembering his reaction to seeing you nude.

But now he had seen you half-frozen, forced to cradle you back to life.

------

You squinted from your cocoon, greeted by a dimly lit room.

One spare lamp on a dingy-looking nightstand, well it wasn’t terrible. It was better than your nightstand in your dorm room… where was your dorm room anyway?

Something vibrated behind you, followed by a heavyweight sprawling against your back.

You held your breath, you were in a hotel.

With a stranger.

“Shit,” you whispered.

Okay, you could wiggle out of here. You took a moment to study the room, there was the lamp from before, and some curtains on a metal rod in the far corner. If you managed to get out without being detected you could knock out the assailant.

“You smell so good.”

More weight settled on you, now you were trapped. This bear was closing in, who knows what happened while you were asleep! All you could remember was falling asleep at your dorm after the upsetting trip to the airport, then being dragged away.

Your fingers burning when you tried to use them, being shoved in a car…

Kylo.

“Kylo?!”

“Mhm.”

You threw your arms up, successfully throwing him off you and the covers. Your limbs screaming at the sudden movement, you were still suffering from the cold. Next to you, curled in a ball, totally catlike, was Ren.

A sleepy smile gracing his lips, hands curled under his cheek, and legs moving towards his chest, Like a child under a blanket. You gasped when you saw he was naked, “Fuck!”

You were too.

“What the fuck, Ren!?”

“Stop yelling,” you watched his hand bat his nose like an animal, “Come back, you were warm.”

You huffed, flailing off the bed in search of your bags.

Memories flooding back to you, he took you here after saving your life.

The bath.

Ugh, bad time to remember your kiss the night before.

Ren sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and blinking slowly. You flushed red when you looked between his legs, shit. How does he walk around with that? Is that why he has bad posture? You choked on your spit when he spread his legs out.

Sprawling completely on the mattress like he wasn’t in a room with a stranger.

“Snow hasn’t stopped,” Ren yawned, snapping a hand and pointing between his legs, “Come back.”

“I’m not doing anything until you have clothes on.”

He rolled his eyes, now looking you up and down. Focusing on your bare tits, swinging around with your erratic movements. You watched him lick his lips, wagging his eyebrows, “Come on, don’t you want to sit back on the bed?”

You shook your head, crouching down to your bag. Trying to not flash him more of your goods, but that didn’t work. Not with him leaning to the side of the bed to make a show of him peeping on you.

A wolfish grin splitting his face, “You have a nice ass.”

“Can you stop,” you huffed, tugging on some sweats you found.

Ren made a pouting noise when you stood, pushing his bottom lip out while you threaded your arms through a t-shirt. You shivered a little-it was still freezing in the room. Probably from the weather, it sounded like it got worse… hopefully this place would keep power.

You looked back at the bed, Ren was still manspreading. One of his large paws crawling towards his cock, watching you with the same smirk. He let out a soft sigh when he touched himself, eyes momentarily shutting in bliss.

“Do you have to do that with me here?”

He cracked an eye open, “Do you have to be that far away?”

You scoffed, moving to the corner of the room. Shivering since you were near the window, you plopped down in the cheap armchair. Ignoring the sounds of his fist gliding along his cock, you tucked your feet under your body. Humming a tune to ignore the arousal growing between your legs, there was no way you were caving to him.

What kind of man does that with a complete stranger present!?

More importantly, why was it turning you on?

“Come here,” he whistled, you spared a glance at him. Blushing profusely at the sight, his cock was now fully erect. Standing tall and proud, tip flushed almost purple from want. You quickly looked away, trying to swallow down the drool that gathered in your mouth.

What would happen if you gave in?

Not like it would hurt you… he looked so delicious.

“If I come over there, what's gonna happen,” you whispered, determined to stay put.

With a deep breath, the mattress groaned under his weight, probably leaning back to get comfortable. He seemed to love you being there, watching him, or trying not to. Ren made a small non-committal scoff, “Whatever you want to happen, baby.”

“Don’t call me that, you know my name.”

“Meow.”

Your head snapped towards him, met with his grin. “Come on-you really want me to do this by myself?” he waved his cock, fist tight around the base. You rolled your eyes, training your eyes to focus on the least attractive part about him.

You were coming up empty, all you could stare at was his cock.

The prominent vein along the underside thrumming in time with his heartbeat. You could practically feel it along your tongue, rigid and stiff. Slowly, you stood from the chair, met with a soft whine from Ren. Eying your hungrily as you sauntered over, you planted a knee in the mattress.

Between his legs, which were spread obscenely wide, he licked his lips in anticipation.

“If I help you, are you going to be nicer to me?”

He nodded, chest taking in sharp breaths. You slowly leaned back on your heels, stripping your top off, despite him seeing you naked earlier. Surprised when he bit his bottom lip, watching you play with your tits, rolling them in the palm of your hand. Just to make him squirm a bit, “I’ll be nicer, whatever you want.”

“I’m really cold still,” you spoke softly, making sure to lean in close enough to graze his lips with your own before pulling away, “Can you help warm me up?”

“Yes,” Ren's hands shot out, kneading your flesh a few times. Debating to grasp your tits or the small of your waist, like a kid in a candy store. So many options, but you didn’t want to wait. If you were doing this, it would be about you.

“Eat me out.”

He stilled, cocking a brow, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” you exhaled on his neck, being sure to drag your kitty claws along his chest. Briefly grazing his nipples, savoring the way he gasped. “Eat me out, if you make me cum, I’ll let you fuck me. Like the desperate slut you are.”

Ren scowled for a moment, nudging your face from his neck. Eyes dancing across your face before capturing your lips, moaning softly in your mouth, “I can make you cum so hard you’ll never want another man again.”

You placed a soft kiss, rolling onto your back dramatically. Splaying your legs wide, “If that's true, why do you fuck a different girl every week?”

He growled at you, actually growled.

Hands no longer soft in their quest to memorize your skin, instead Ren pinned your legs hard enough for them to pop. Making you squeal from the stretch, “How fast do you think I can make you cum? Hm?”

Before you could answer, he dove in.

Lips wrapping around your clit and suckling fast, tongue flicking out every few seconds. You were already bucking up to meet him, but his firm hold kept you flush. While his tongue began to lap thick stripes along the seam of your pussy. Briefly hooking the tip into your entrance, both of you moaning when he tasted your wetness.

“Shit-Kylo!”

“Mm,” his voice vibrated against your clit, continuing his assault until you choked on your spit. You buried your fingers in his hair, keeping him in that right spot. “I’m so fucking close,” you cried out, pleading his name over and over and over.

“You know,” he popped off, smacking his lips that were glistening with your cum, “I’d rather you cum on my cock.”

“Wait-”

Ren flipped you onto your chest, yanking your hips into the air. You barely had time to take a breath before he shoved his cock inside you. His breath hitched as he sank to the hilt, you groaned at the stretch. Now this, this you could get used to.

He pulled out slowly, you heard him swear under his breath. Leaving just the tip of his cock inside and ramming his hips into yours. Pulling a loud scream from your lungs, Ren chuckled at that. Pumping his cock at a rough pace, “Shh-you’re going to upset our neighbors.”

You huffed, cheap shot, angling your hips a little so his cock would rub up against your front wall. Moaning when he picked up the pace, skin slapping skin. Ren leaned over your form, planting a hand on the headboard to keep it from knocking. You weakly lifted your head, clenching at the sight of his knuckles turning white.

All you could do was sit and take it, revealing in the bliss you’d denied yourself for four months.

-------

Ren dropped you both off at the airport two days later.

You spent three days together, fucking each other's brains out.

Choking on his cock while he was brushing his teeth, eating you out while you read through your newsfeed. Bouncing on his cock while he fed you breakfast, you didn’t need to change clothes the entire vacation.

But you wanted to go home and were thankful for the storm ending so you could head home. It was a little awkward, Ren wasn’t very excited about the snow stopping. It felt like he was trying to stall you leaving but reluctantly listened to your desire to fly home.

“Got everything?” he mumbled, hitching his backpack over his shoulder. The two of you were waiting in the TSA line, about to part ways to head home. You nodded, giving him a tight smile before stepping up on your own.

Ignoring the feeling of his eyes on the back of your head.

Both of you stood awkwardly after making it through, “Well-my gates over here,” you pointed behind you. Ren hummed in acknowledgment, kicking at the ground instead of looking at you.

“Thanks for letting me crash with you,” you tried again, still nothing.

You groaned, spinning on your heel. Back to being an asshole, you were kicking yourself for thinking he would be nicer. All he wanted was some pussy, and you willingly gave into him when you should’ve remained strong.

Your parents picked you up back at home, lots of tears and laughs were shared. Thankful that you made it home without freezing, your mom was grateful for your friend who saved your life. She wanted to call him and tell him how much she appreciated it but you shrugged it off, he was just being nice. He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything, you left out the part that he was the neighbor you always complained about.

Collapsing on your bed felt surreal like you would wake up and be back in the hotel room at any moment. It was odd not sleeping next to him, you had grown accustomed to his clingy arms. Circling you in the middle of the night when he thought you were dead asleep, smelling your hair before tucking you into his naked chest.

You tossed and turned all night, groaning when you were woken by your siblings to get up the next morning. Barely sleeping a wink, you resolved to take a nap later to try and not spoil your trip back home.

At breakfast, your mom yelled at you from the kitchen.

“Hey hon, someone’s calling you!”

“Just answer it,” you groaned through a mouthful of cereal. Briefly hearing your mother answer in a typical chipper tone, stalling mid-sentence before she yelled again, “It’s someone named Kyle?”

Shit, you shot to the kitchen.

Snatching the phone and escaping to the living room where no one was hiding.

“Kylo?”

Hey, didn’t think you’d answer.

“How’d you get my number?”

Took it while you were napping the other day, I knew you wouldn’t give it to me willingly.

You rolled your eyes, “Alright creeper, what’s up?”

Just wanted to talk or whatever, felt weird not to.

Silence.

Are you gonna let me buy you coffee when we are back?

“You were being serious about that?”

A scoff.

Yeah-or we could just fuck again if that’s all you want from this.

“Coffee sounds good.”

Cool. Cool.

It’s a date.

-------

TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads @onlykyloscenes @candycanes19 @historyandfandoms50 @caelum-phyriina-vermillon @ghoulian13 @mrs-kylo-ren @millenialcatlady @relationshipwithmybed @dancingmicrobes @wayward-rose @contesa-lui-alucard @daydreamsofren @insufferablelust @ohdamnadamm @mariesackler @caillea @safarigirlsp @jalexunderthestars @shesakillerkween @glassythoughts @zimmermansbrat @not-the-teen-witch @jynzandtonic @roanniom @celestiasin @glassbxttless @cornmousequeen @driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk

#adamdriver #adam driver #kylo ren #anon asked #create a scenerio #modern kylo ren #college kylo ren #roomates trope

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butididntpourthewhiskeys · 3 years

Text

L O V E B O U N D

“Christmasbound III”

I know many of you never thought this day would come, but I’m glad to be back with our three favorites. please be kind, as I drafted this within a day. I genuinely hope you’ll like it. merry christmas from the fam xx

“And if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know you know, you’ll always know me. Dorothea. Uh uh”

She keeps her eyes closed, feels the warm and soft material underneath her huge headphones that cover the entirety of her ears. Surrounded by blankets and curtains, hanging right from her opened closet, Taylor feels the same warmth she’s always felt when recording music. Under normal circumstances, this would’ve been in a professional setting. A recording studio with narrow walls and acoustic matts covering the walls.

This little home studio in her closet certainly doesn’t compare.

With her eyes still closed, Taylor moves her head with the beat of the music, mindlessly reaches for the headphones. She doesn’t have to open her eyes, doesn’t have to be able to hear the slightest noise beneath the music to know exactly that someone is making their way to her. It’s instinctive, it’s natural.

With the huge headphones now in her hands, Taylor stops the recording on her laptop that is placed on the little table on her right side and then slowly turns around. She smiles. Her five, almost six year old child is standing in the room. She’s barefoot. Her long Pajama pants covering her petite legs. Blonde and curly hair in all directions, obviously in need for a cuddle with her momma as she rubs her puffy eyes and walks straight towards her mom.

“Mornin’ honey.” Taylor just mumbles into the warm neck, a little laugh escaping her lips as she already feels Eleanor hugging her neck so tight. A tiny head is now placed on her shoulders. She sighs in her low voice, seems to be in her half asleep dreamland state. Taylor breathes her baby girl in, slowly rubs her small back up and down. This just never changes.

“How did you sleep?” Taylor asks her quietly, slowly pulls back to squish the tired and warm cheeks and presses a big kiss onto them a few times. Eleanor just stands there, obviously still tired.

“Good.” she says, her eyes on her momma’s big microphone in the midst of the bedroom. Taylor knows that this is as weird for Eleanor as it is for her. After all she’s never recorded an album from home. Eleanor knows that her mom writes songs on the piano or on the guitar sometimes, but this whole technical set- up is yet another thing that has become Eleanor’s new reality. This global pandemic really has brought many changes into the little girls life.

“What are you singing?” she says quietly, still looking up to the big round microphone on the stand where her mom is sitting.

“I’m recording this song I wrote, called Dorothea.”

Eleanor looks at Taylor with big eyes, the same big blue eyes she knows from someone else so well and nods slowly. Taylor laughs.

“Who is Dorothea?” she asks then and Taylor grins.

“That’s a good question. She’s a beautiful girl who’s moved away from the little old town she grew up in and became famous, and everyone knows her.”

The blonde signer can already see in the five year old’s face that this conversation won’t go anywhere. Eleanor nods distracted, as Taylor places the headphones on the table next to her and pulls Eleanor onto her lap.

“Breakfast?”

Eleanor nods. Taylor slowly gets up, the big girl on her arms while making her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Eleanor slowly cuddles herself once more into her arms and Taylor doesn’t complain. Currently, she absorbs every second of this clingy and cuddly phase that her daughter is going through. Taylor immediately has to think of the words of her pediatrician from the other week ago. This current global crisis is a big mystery for children. Everyone wears masks. No more playing with friends. No leaving the house anymore. How scary this must be for someone who doesn’t understand the world yet? Taylor knows that Eleanor has every reason to be clingy and needy of her mom during this time. And she enjoys this phase more than she ever thought she would. Back when Eleanor was a baby, she would sometimes dream about what it would be like to have a child who can play by herself, use the bathroom by herself, eat by herself. Now that her baby girl is in her last year of pre- school, Taylor realizes that time is just a construct and that every cuddle and every hug is only temporary. But it’s appreciated. So incredibly appreciated.

“Are you looking forward to your ladybug class today?” Taylor whispers into Eleanor’s ears and the little girl nods excitedly, just as Taylor places her on the marble counter right downstairs in the kitchen. Taylor grins, slowly opens the fridge.

“Today we have to bring our favorite teddy bear and I want to bring Benji.” Eleanor says excitedly, as Taylor just looks at her daughter and laughs.

“Don’t you think Miss Clarkson will know that he’s a real life cat and not a teddy bear?” Taylor says amusedly while pouring some oat milk into a little cup right on the stove. In her light blue pajamas, just like Eleanor’s, Taylor brings the milk to heat up and looks back at the curly head who’s already playing with the little miniature dolls she left on the counter last night.

“No because daddy always says Benji is a little bear!” Eleanor says laughing, seems to be more than excited about her clever idea. And if her dad says so, then it has to be right. Taylor grins at her baby girl while preparing her hot chocolate. She knows exactly how important Joe’s words are for the little girl. Eleanor is already focused on her little dolls again, seems to have almost forgotten that Taylor is in the room with her, and sings quietly while playing around.

“Here’s your hot chocolate.” Taylor says, pronouncing the last two words in an extra British way to make her daughter laugh. Eleanor takes the big cup with the kitties on the front right from her, and pulls out her tongue laughing. Taylor just laughs as well, both her hands on her head fixing the little curls.

"Mummy, it’s hot chocolate.” the five year old replies, automatically switched to her British accent, loves to correct her mum when it comes to pronouncing words the British way. Taylor will never be less impressed by the fact that her child is able to switch accents perfectly within the matter of five seconds. A perk of having multinational parents and growing up in two countries at the same time.

“My little British baby.” Taylor grins, then steals Eleanor’s forehead a kiss.

“Mommy, can we go to the park today with daddy?”

Taylor doesn’t say anything for a second, fixes Eleanor’s strand of hair before letting go off her. She stands right in front of the counter where Eleanor is sitting and slurping her hot cocoa. Taylor just quietly nods and Eleanor’s eyes seem to light up just within a few seconds.

“We have to speak to daddy anyways today and see what we’re gonna do for Christmas this year.”

“Mommy can we please celebrate with daddy and grandma?” Eleanor immediately says, places the mug next to her and starts pulling on her mom’s pajama shirt. Taylor knows this version of Eleanor too well. Whenever she really wants something she becomes all clingy and impatient. Taylor just sighs.

“Baby, we can’t celebrate all together because of covid. I explained that to you before.” Taylor says carefully, looks into Eleanor’s pouty face in the hope to find understanding.

“I promised you that you will see daddy and grandma for Christmas, we just... haven’t worked out a concrete plan yet.”

Eleanor doesn’t seem to understand what her mom just said, but she nods. The same pout as before. This quarantine situation is hard on Eleanor. Taylor knows that too well.

“Okay.” Eleanor just mouths quietly. Taylor smiles silently. Within a few seconds, her lips are meeting the tiny forehead again. Lips pressed against the soft skin, she kisses her daughter a few times, whispering a low “I love you” in between. Eleanor replies as lightly as always and Taylor helps her jump down from the counter. She quickly encounters Olivia and Benjamin who just made their way to the kitchen to greet the little girl that just got up. Taylor smiles at Eleanor and her quirky way of speaking with the cats. Just like siblings. It makes her laugh sometimes.

“Okay, Liv. You can play with me but you can’t steal my wedding dress again.” Eleanor says in all seriousness to Olivia as the two cats and the little girl disappear up the stairs. Taylor looks amusedly after them, slowly makes her way to the coffee machine and reaches for her phone that she left here this morning when she made herself coffee number one. With her favorite baby blue cup under the coffee machine, she presses the button and waits a few seconds. Her eyes wander onto her phone screen. Right on top of the background picture of Eleanor in the snow, Taylor reads the texts she missed from her friend Martha. Once Eleanor is with Joe, she definitely needs a class of wine and a good catch up session with her friends.

“Did you put on your warm socks?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Taylor yells back upstairs at her daughter, as she crunches down to grab the cat treats that are buried in the depths of her kitchen drawer. She immediately sees a very excited Benjamin come closer. Taylor grins at him.

“Of course you are the first one to be in line for treats huh.” she grins, immediately pets him on his head before feeding him.

Just when Taylor was about to close the drawer again, she can hear the doorbell ring. Within a matter of seconds, a very excited Eleanor storms downstairs. Taylor gets up, checks the little screen in the kitchen and feels her stomach churn. It’s always like that, every week when he stands in her front door. The black and white security camera still managing to point out his kind eyes, his voluminous hair, his effortlessness. He’s wearing his thick APC coat. The one he wore years ago when they first met. She still can’t believe he won’t get rid of it, has pointed this out to him multiple times already.

“It’s daddy!” Eleanor yells, and Taylor can already hear Joe’s quiet laugh. Of course there’s never a time when Eleanor simply leaves with Joe and not makes her face him in the doorway. Taylor just approaches Eleanor who’s standing in front of the opened door, looking back at her mum, waiting patiently for her to join her here. Sometimes, Taylor could almost think that she does this on purpose. That she makes sure Taylor has to face her dad every time he comes around to pick her up.

Within a few seconds, Taylor stands in front of him now too, her hand stroking over Eleanor’s wool beanie. The little girl is fully dressed for the winter park, her tiny green jacket matching her cream- colored beanie. Joe almost has no time to face Taylor, because Eleanor is already attacking him, jumping onto his arms to hug him tightly. He immediately picks the small girl up and spins her around a few times, groaning into her ears how much he missed her, placing a little kiss on top of he beanie on her head. Just when he slowly lets her back down to the ground is when Joe has the time to face Taylor. For once. She just stands there in her cream colored onesie, the one she used to hang out around the house with even back when they were still together. Her feet still wear the same weird fox slippers he used to make fun of. Her hair loosely hanging from the little bun in her neck. She’s not well put together, looks exactly the way only he used to see her around the house. And Joe hates it. He hates that she faces him today, looking like this again. Looking the way she did the first time he stayed over at her place in New York years ago. Not trying at all. Making him feel things he promised himself after last Christmas, to never feel again. Store them under the bed, right in the little box of his past and to lock her up, right in there. And make sure they won’t creep up again, the way they do right now.

“Hey.” she mumbles, a polite smile escaping her mouth. Joe takes a breath, looks at Eleanor to distract himself for a bit, before looking back up at her again. Facing her has never been easy since last year. But he’s getting better at it.

“Hey, I didn’t see you last time.” he already blurts out, has no clue why his nervous mouth has to just babble like this, without taking into consideration that it makes him look a bit weird and... nervous. Taylor seems just as uncomfortable as he is, laughs insecurely once more, then scratches the back of her head while standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, I was on a meeting last time you picked her up so..”

Joe just nods. He shouldn’t have said what he said before. Things are already awkward enough between them.

“Ready to leave, monkey?” He asks Eleanor, who is now sitting on the floor right next to the open door, putting her winter boots on. She nods immediately, seems to struggle a bit with her shoe laces, but is way too excited to sit still while looking at the big dog next to Joe. Taylor smiles. Eleanor loves Flint as much as the cats, always has and always will.

“Yes, daddy. Can I hold Flint again, later?”

“Of course. He’s so happy to see you too.” Joe mumbles with a smile on his face, crouches down to pet the big old golden retriever.

“Mummy, can you join us too?” Eleanor pouts, looking up at her mum from the floor.

Taylor laughs nervously a third time today, just shakes her head no. She can feel Joe’s stare in her neck, knows exactly why he’s so quiet all of the sudden.

“Honey, I told you I have some more work to do.”

“But mummy..” Eleanor pouts again, becoming as whiny as always when she wants something and Taylor just sighs.

“It’s good to get some fresh air. Especially now with the whole quarantine thing.” Joe says lightly, and Taylor turns to look at him. She knows his look and he knows hers.

He tried this before.

And so did she.

“I don’t know, I think it’s Eleanor and Daddy time, and…”

“No mummy, please. We can play with Flint together!” Eleanor tries again, now stands fully upright with her winter jacket and red boots next to her, and reaches for her mom’s hand. Taylor just sighs again, looks at Joe once more. She’s rolling her eyes and it makes Joe laugh. He just smiles, knows exactly how good their daughter is at getting what she wants, but makes sure not to look into Taylor’s eyes for too long. It feels like a welcoming distraction when Eleanor suddenly gets closer to him, lets herself fall onto his side once more, just hugging her dad’s leg before petting Flint again.

“Look mummy, he wants you to come with us.” Eleanor persists, points at Flint who just looks up at Tay. This old dog knows as well what the little girl is trying here.

Taylor just shakes her head and laughs. Eleanor definitely has that from her.

“Alright, if dad doesn’t mind..”

“He doesn’t.” Joe grins, and Taylor just nods, takes a step back to signal him that they can come back inside the house for a minute, just until she’s ready.

“Let me just put on some clothes, I’ll be back in a second.” she mumbles, already starts walking upstairs. Joe just closes the big door behind him, feels the warmth of this house and already smells the sandalwood candles coming from the kitchen. It smells like something he used to know so well. It smells like home.

“Daddy, come look at my pre- school folder.” Eleanor runs off yelling for him. With Flint next to him, Joe just laughs at his daughter.

“Darling, my shoes are a bit dirty from outside, I don’t..”

“Please daddy!” Eleanor calls him from the kitchen already. Joe quickly takes his shoes off with one hand, then makes his way into the kitchen. He has to swallow for a second as his eyes fall onto the picture frames placed upon the chimney. All the black and white pictures of the little baby girl. Taylor and Eleanor in the hospital bed. Benjamin and Eleanor on her first birthday. Pictures he took. Pictures that once meant the world to him. And she’s kept it all, certainly made this place a home.

“Daddy, look, I made this yesterday.” She squirms excitedly, holds the folder right in front of Joe. She’s fully clothed and ready for the cold. Joe has to laugh at her excitement to show him what she’s made.

“Wow, darling.” He just mumbles, is already crouching down to get a better look at her art project. A big rainbow fish, filled with glitter and confetti decorates the cover. In the middle of the front page, it says Eleanor Alwyn. Pre- School Class of 2020. He couldn’t be prouder.

“Look, this is a picture of me and mummy in lockdown.” she explains once Joe has opened the first page. He can’t help but smile.

“What are you two doing?” He asks.

“We’re watching a Christmas movie, look!” she says, her tiny finger pointing to what seems to be the television. He can’t help but laugh again, slowly turns his head to press a kiss onto her small face. There are no words for how much he loves this little girl.

“Have you and mum watched many of these this year?”

“Yes!” she just answers, and Joe laughs. Just in that moment, Taylor comes back into the room and sees the two crouching on the kitchen floor with her art folder. Flint is just sitting next to them, looking less excited about the scenery than Joe.

“I’m ready.” she just mumbles, and Joe looks up at her. He’s still smiling, seems to love what Eleanor is showing him.

“Are you showing daddy your pre- school folder?” Taylor laughs, as Joe looks up at her. He seems to catch himself becoming emotional, and slowly gets up.

“I’m so impressed what you two have been doing in quarantine.” He says with a smirk and Taylor can’t help but laugh as well.

“We’ve been very productive, haven’t we?” Taylor says and Eleanor nods, seems to not have understood the sarcasm between her parents.

“Ready?” Joe asks, looks at Taylor with a questioning look. Instead of getting dressed, she just threw a massive puff jacket over her onesie, a pair of black boots replacing the fox slippers and her blonde hair right under the grey beanie.

“Yeah, I was too lazy to get dressed so…”

“Alright, let’s go.” Joe mumbles, doesn’t comment her choice of outfit any further. Within a few seconds, they have left the house, started walking right into Camberbatch Road, and down the little lane to get closer to Hampstead Park. Whilst today was one of the coldest days so far, the sun is still up, sometimes disappearing behind the thick clouds, but steadily there. Making sure to come back and warm up this cold world at least for some time.

Eleanor has been as chatty as always when Joe picks her up to go for a walk in the park. For the first few minutes she’s been walking hand in hand with her dad, telling him about today’s class and how excited her class mates on Zoom have been when Benjamin showed up as her teddy bear. Taylor just listens quietly to their conversation and smiles. It’s been a good idea to get some fresh air, even if things with Joe are still more than awkward.

“Has he been sitting still?” Joe asks Eleanor, who immediately starts laughing, throws her head against her dad’s arm just being silly.

“No.” She laughs and so does Joe. He looks at Taylor and she grins as well.

“I mean what would you expect of Benji, huh?”

“Nothing less.” Joe answers.

A few minutes later the the three have reached the beginning of the Heath and the five year old girl impatiently starts to reach for Flint’s leash. She is getting more and more impatient the closer they came to the big park. Joe quickly stops and then crouches down to be able to properly look at his daughter.

“Alright bug, be careful and come back to me if another dog comes along, alright?” he asks and Eleanor excitedly nods, as Joe gives her Flint’s leash. Whilst the dog is almost her height, Eleanor confidently starts to run off onto the grass together with Flint by her side. Despite her huge puff jacket, she’s able to run as fast as humanly possible. Joe looks after them, can’t help but laugh quietly as well.

“Her confidence is everything.” Taylor mumbles while looking after her daughter, making Joe smirk.

“She’s done this many times, she can handle him.”

“Oh yeah I know, I.. I didn’t mean that.” She quickly adds and Joe nods, has no clue where the sudden awkwardness is coming from. He simply stares on the ground, can’t dare to look up to her or even right into her face. All he does is look at his feet, how his big winter boots are walking right on the cold ground. There’s not many people around, but more people than usually, two days before Christmas.

“So how are you?” Joe then asks, lifts up his head to look at what’s right in front of him, sees Eleanor and Flint playing and running on the fields at Hampstead Heath. Just like he did when he was Eleanor’s age. Right on the same grass. A nice circle that’s closing for him.

“I’m good. What about you? How has quarantine been treating you?” She asks, feels his slight laugh, even if she doesn’t look at him.

“It’s been fine. Just really annoying that we’re going back to Tier 4 again.” he mumbles, is more than happy that coronavirus is once more a great small talk topic to avoid awkward silences.

Taylor immediately nods, then even dares to look up at him while walking through the park.

“Ugh I know. This year has been such a mess.” she mumbles and Joe immediately nods.

“It really has been. I’m glad you two are staying safe not traveling.” Joe then says and dares to look at Taylor for the first time today. Taylor looks back at him, then sinks her head covered in her grey beanie once more. She knows exactly how he meant his last statement, and it’s hard for her to take. To feel how much he cares. For both of them. Still.

“Of course. It’s impossible for us to fly around during this time, especially cause pre- school has been extending their classes to make sure the kids are busy until things go back to normal. So it’s been great for her to have a daily schedule to see her friends.” Taylor says, looks at Eleanor who’s no more than a hundred meters away from both of them, running wild with Flint, who seems to barely be able to keep up with her. This poor old dog.

“Absolutely. You’re.. you’re doing a fantastic job being home with her 24/7. I... I hope you know that if it gets too much, you can just drop her off for a few days and I’ll keep her busy.”

Taylor looks at Joe and smiles. He’s never offered this to her since they’ve been in lockdown, and it’s more appreciated than he can imagine. With her bare face, Taylor smiles at him, her breath visible in front of her face due to the cold.

“Thanks, I think I might actually have to take on that offer.” She says, a laughing breath of air escaping her. Joe looks up at her once more, a bit confused.

“It’s exhausting to keep her busy 24/7. I’ve been trying to work, but...”

“Taylor, seriously, I live two kilometers away, why didn’t you ask me...”

Taylor wants to interrupt him and explain herself, but she knows too well that there’s no reason for her not calling him. There’s no reason why she didn’t ask for his help, why she didn’t simply put Eleanor in a car and let her stay at his house for a while. There is no reason, and it’s the first time that she realizes that herself might be the only reason for the distance between them right now.

“I... I didn’t know this is something you’d want to do.” She says then, knowing damn well that she’s lying.

“Of course, just... just have her stay with me for a few days after Christmas if you want.” Taylor doesn’t interrupt him, just nods as they continue walking down the Heath. The trees look so sad, have lost their leaves months ago already. Rotten and almost forgotten, do these leaves now remain on the ground, buried under the footprints of the endless amounts of people walking down this park this winter, trying to escape the prison of quarantine. Taylor has noticed before how many people have started going on hikes, connecting with nature again to escape being home all the time. A crazy dynamic for the world they’re all living in.

“Speaking of Christmas,” she then says, kind of happy that she’s been able to change topics.

“So as you probably know, there’s no way we can visit my parents this year or vice versa so I wanted to ask if it’s fine for you if Eleanor and me celebrate at my house on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and a day later if you want, you can have her for a few days?” she asks, as Joe already looks up at her with a confused look.

“So you want to be alone with Eleanor for Christmas basically?” he asks again, and Taylor can already hear the mood changing in his voice. She really doesn’t want this to turn into an argument, she doesn’t want to disagree with Joe while having a conversation with him for the first time in months.

“I mean we’re in quarantine. The government literally told us to...”

“Tay, she’s five.” Joe suddenly interrupts her, and Taylor doesn’t know what hurts her more. The fact that he called her Tay, which is what only her closest people call her or the fact that he seems upset. She can feel that in his voice.

“She’s five years old and she’s got her dad and her uncles and her grandparents live.. a few meters away. I mean I appreciate that you want to keep her safe but we’re all getting tested tomorrow morning and I really want her to at least have a good Christmas especially in such a shitty year.”

Taylor doesn’t say anything, feels Joe becoming quieter and looking back at her.

“I just...”

“I want you to join as well.” he then suddenly blurts out, and within a matter of seconds, Taylor’s stops and looks at him in confusion. Joe turns around to her, his hands buried in his jacket. It’s freezing and he’s never been happier for the pockets in his black jacket.

“Joe, I... I appreciate you..”

“No Tay, I’m serious. I don’t want you and Eleanor be all alone on Christmas. Not her and not you. It’s... we’re....”

She can feel him search for words and it already pains her. He hasn’t said it yet and she doesn’t want him to. She knows what’s coming. She knows it too well.

“In some ways we’re still a family and I just don’t want you to sit alone in this house on Christmas Day. With or without Eleanor and...”

“Joe.” Taylor says. Her hand on his arm, she was just about to say something as Eleanor comes running by, seems more than upset. Immediately, Joe understands the situation. Flint has run off, right up to a couple with a small dog. Joe whistles twice and Flint quickly comes running back. “Did he run off?” Joe asks her, as Eleanor just nods quietly. Within a few seconds, Taylor has crouched down onto Eleanor’s height, takes her into her arms. Joe looks confused at the two, only then realized that Eleanor fell when Flint was running off.

“Oh darling, did you hurt yourself?” he asks as Taylor already signals him that the fall wasn’t that bad. Just when she lets go off Eleanor, the little girl hugs her dad once more, crocodile tears falling down her cheeks.

“I hurt my hand” she sobs, and Joe immediately reaches for the slightly bruised and cold hand and kisses it a few times, warming her up.

“My poor little angel.” he mumbles and Eleanor hugs her dad again, placing her head on his shoulders. Taylor can’t help but swallow down a laugh. Eleanor loves to be dramatic, another thing she’s got from her mother. And this little girl also enjoys her dad’s attention more than anything in this world.

“Look, there’s Flint.” Joe then says, just when the dog came running back. Eleanor quickly lets go of Joe and looks at the dog with an upset face.

“You hurt me when you ran off, Flint.” Eleanor says as dramatic as she can be and Taylor as well as Joe try their hardest to stay serious.

“I think he’s sorry, isn’t he..” Joe mumbles and pets the confused dog a bit. Eleanor also seems to calm down slowly and runs her hand over the dog’s head a few times.

“It’s okay, Flinty.” she then mumbles and Joe laughs, moves his head to kiss her head once more.

“Come on, let’s keep walking together.” Joe says and Eleanor keeps walking next to her dad, hand in hand. After a few minutes, she lets go off his hand once more and runs off. Taylor just looks at her mini- me and smiles.

How quickly to forget, as a child. How easy to leave a situation and simply move on.

“Alright, alright. One hot chocolate with caramel and whip cream for miss E.” Joe repeats with a laugh on his face, taking his face mask out of his pockets while letting go off Eleanor’s little hand.

“What can I get you?” He asks Taylor. It’s slowly getting dark outside and they’ve made it back, are now standing in front of the little Starbucks located in the heart of Hampstead Village. Just three shops are open at the moment, offering hot beverages and meals for take away. He can see in Taylor’s make up free face how cold she is. Her cheeks are red and her hands are buried in her own puff jacket pockets. She certainly needs a drink to warm up as much as he does.

“Mhm maybe…”

“Skinny Caramel Latte?”

Taylor looks at him, can’t help but smile. She can’t believe he still knows her so well.

“Sounds good.”

Joe laughs, winks at her and disappears inside. Taylor looks after him, waiting outside. It’s hard for her to believe sometimes how he hasn’t changed at all. He still knows every little detail of her by heart, and so does she. But maybe, just maybe, he has changed? Maybe he has been able to change for all the reasons she wanted him to, exactly a year ago. A year ago, when she had a piece of what she once knew. A piece of Joe, something she had to leave behind once more. For her, but even more for Eleanor.

Taylor slowly crouches down to Eleanor, who stands next to Flint and carefully pets his head.

“Are you cold?” Taylor asks her quietly, but Eleanor shakes her head. She’s exhausted and tired from all the running around and fresh air she’s had today. Taylor can sense that. After the sugar crash from her hot chocolate, Eleanor will certainly sleep well tonight. A gift for her mother also.

“That was such a fun day with dad, huh?” Taylor asks with an uplifted voice, and Eleanor nods as well. Something is upsetting her. Taylor can sense this immediately.

Wrapped up in her big jacket and beanie covering her ears, Eleanor just stands there. She’s become so quiet since the last few minutes, just strokes Flint’s head up and down.

“What’s up, baby?” Taylor says quietly, enjoys being so close to her that nobody can hear her but Eleanor.

Taylor doesn’t get an answer, just witnesses how the corners of Eleanor’s mouth are slowly drooping. In slight shock, Taylor just takes Eleanor into her arms. The little girl starts crying for a second time today, but this time it’s not because she’s hurt her hand.

“Baby, what’s.. what’s going on? Why are you sad?” Taylor just asks, a bit worried, her hand immediately in her beanie, comforting the cold little girl in her arms. Eleanor slowly lets go off Taylor’s chest and just stares at her mommy. She immediately wipes away the little tears from Eleanor’s cheeks with her thumbs.

“I don’t want daddy to go home.”

Taylor feels a punch in her stomach. She knew it. She could’ve known that this would happen.

“Honey, daddy is first of all getting you a hot chocolate and then..”

“And then he will go home but I don’t want him to go home.” she gets whiny again, and Taylor doesn’t answer, just kisses the cheeky little face a few times. When Taylor and Joe spent time together over Christmas last year, Eleanor had a similar breakdown. And Taylor knows why. It brings back old memories of mommy and daddy together with her. It brings back memories of dad leaving. Memories of her moving into a different house. A house where daddy isn’t living at anymore.

“I promise you, we will see daddy in a few days. Okay?”

Eleanor doesn’t answer, and Taylor feels her heart breaking once more.

This was never what she wanted. This was never what she wanted that day, when Eleanor was laying on her bare chest, opening her eyes for the first time. This was never part of all the promises she gave to the little girl in her arms.

Just when Taylor was about to comfort her once more, Joe comes out of the shop again, a little brown craft tray with three cups in his hands. As he takes off his mask, he can see Eleanor’s face and the wet little cheeks coming out of the beanie and warm jacket she’s wearing. He can see Taylor’s look. He can feel it up his spine.

“Hey, love. Your hot chocolate.” He just gently says, crouches down to Eleanor just like Taylor did. Eleanor is not crying anymore, but she seems sad. Joe feels that.

“Is everything alright?” He asks, and Eleanor just falls into another hug with him. Joe almost drops the little paper tray, as Taylor takes it from him within a few seconds, holding Flint’s leash in her other hand as well. Joe just hugs his little daughter back, is obviously confused.

“Sweetheart..”

“Daddy, can you stay with us tonight..”

“Eleanor!” Taylor interrupts her, as Joe just signals Taylor he’s handling this.

“Darling, why do you want that?” He whispers into her ear. Eleanor just looks up at him, still whining.

“Because you always go home after we played with Flint.” She says, Joe knows exactly what she means.

“That’s cause it’s almost dark, my love.” He says, holding her head in his hands. He slowly kisses her forehead once, and then her lips.

“How about we go home and have our hot chocolate, and then if it’s fine with mummy we can play in your room a bit longer, huh?” Joe says to comfort Eleanor, already got a comforting nod from Taylor. She just stands there, feels shattered for the hundredth time since they’ve been doing this. It’s certainly not the first time that Eleanor is reacting like this after they’ve spent time together. Taylor knows that she misses him. That Eleanor remembers what it was like when dad didn’t have to “go home” and her sleeping place was right between both of them. It’s rare but these are the moments in which Taylor feels like she failed. Feels like she’s been telling herself and Eleanor a big fat lie. The lie that being separated from Joe, would be the right thing. The lie that Joe is the one who brings uncertainty into her life. A lie that’s been reality for her for so many months on end.

She can’t and won’t forget that.

Joe slowly gets up, kisses Eleanor’s cold little mouth one more time.

“Daddy might live somewhere else, but I’m never gone. You can always visit me, and I will always visit you.”

Eleanor immediately reaches for her hot chocolate that Taylor is giving to her and nods. She seems to be happy with his answer - for now. She nips on the cup one time, her eyes still puffy from her tears.

“Good?” Joe asks and she nods.

“Good.” She answers and he laughs quietly. She already has a chocolate mustache in her face.

Joe can’t dare to look at Taylor’s face again, just takes his coffee from the tray in her hands as they slowly start walking home. For the rest of the walk, Taylor is quiet. A bit too quiet for his taste. He knows how she feels, can feel it through her wool beanie and puff jacket. She feels guilty. She feels guilty for something she shouldn’t feel guilty about.

Just when the three arrive at the front door of the big house, Taylor takes out the key from her pockets and opens up. Eleanor is busy telling Joe about her friend Rosie’s doll house that she misses playing with and how she wishes that Santa Claus would get her the same.

Taylor still says nothing. Joe slowly gets in, looks at Taylor who just closes the door.

“Do you want me to put Flint into…”

“Oh yeah, let me get him some water and we can have him wait downstairs. I think the cats would..”

“Yeah sounds great.” Joe says, and thankfully passes Flint on the leash to Taylor. After all, the cats have never got along well with him and they shouldn’t be risking the animals getting into a fight tonight.

Joe just watches her immediately walk off with him, takes off his shoes himself.

The steps on the staircase creak louder than he intended, slowly makes his way downstairs. Joe is only wearing black socks, his jeans and long sleeve casually covering his upper body. He slowly glances into the living room, can see the big flat screen tv running, but Taylor is nowhere to be seen. Candles on the coffee tableare lit, the little lamp at the end of the big living room turned on, lighting up the room in the most cozy way. He smiles. Taylor always knew how to make a place a home. As he takes a few more steps into the living room, Joe suddenly realizes that Taylor is passed out on the couch, her back facing him from where he stands. He slowly walks up to the tv, doesn’t want to startle her. He remains silent. Taylor is hugging one of the big orchid colored pillows, sleeps silently. The fresh air today seems to have not just helped Eleanor pass out faster than usual - it has made her tired as well. Joe doesn’t move, just looks at her sleeping. This has always been his weakness. Her most angelic state, asleep, right next to him. Joe slowly moves, places his hand on her arm, trying to wake her up gently.

“Hey, Tay..”

After a second, Tay wakes up and is startled. She quickly sits up, looks at him confusedly and Joe grins. He knows that look too well. She’s always needed a second to come back to life after being asleep.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to…”

“Oh, no no.” she quickly says, scratches her head on the side she’s been laying on. This side of her face has imprinted the pattern of the pillow. Joe smirks, but doesn’t say anything.

“I’m.. I’m sorry, I just passed out.”

Joe nods softly.

“No problem, I just wanted to let you know that Eleanor’s asleep as well. We were playing with her dolls and it took her half an hour to pass out on the carpet. So I just tucked her to bed. Hope that’s alright…”

“Yeah, perfect. Thank you so much.” she says.

“Alright, I’m going to get going then.” Joe says. Taylor was about to get up to accompany him to the door as she realizes that they haven’t finished speaking about Christmas.

“Oh, uhm Joe, can we.. can we quickly speak about Christmas before you leave?” She asks. Joe immediately nods, casually comes around to where she’s sitting and lets himself fall onto the place next to her, right on the big and comfy couch.

“I almost forgot, you’re right.”

“I just…” Tay turns down the volume of the tv and looks at him. “Joe, I just wanted to say that… that first of all…”

He can see that she’s thought this through, watches her play with her hands in nervousness while speaking. He knows her too well for her to hide anything. He knows every gesture, every look, every single detail of her body language. She is nervous. She is looking for the right way to say whatever she needs to say.

“First of all, I appreciate your kindness. So much. In.. in you thinking of me and wanting to invite me for Christmas, but..”

“But?”

“But I really thought about this earlier, and I came to the decision that I want you and Eleanor to celebrate together with your family like you did last year. I really am fine being home with the cats. I’m going to FaceTime my family, watch a movie and go to bed. I think this year the circumstances are even weirder than last year, so I would really prefer to lay low and…”

“May I.. may I say something?”

Taylor looks at him a bit confused, is not used to him interrupting her in this way.

“Uhm, sure.”

“I spoke to my family about this a lot. About how weird things have been between my parents and you. I mean.. you haven’t seen them since Christmas last year and we both know how weird the circumstances were.” He says, referring to the last Christmas. The last time they’ve seen each other. Back when she and Joe were repeating old patterns, making old mistakes. Back then, when she begged him so much to change. Begged him to undo the past years.

Taylor looks at him in shock, thinking about the fact that his family has been speaking about her. She has no idea where this is going, but she surely knows that her hands are getting sweatier the second they speak.

“And… Tay, I…” he stops again, looks at the insides of his hands. She’s barely experienced Joe like this. The only time he’s searched for words was when he asked her to marry him, years ago, years before Eleanor was in the picture and she turned him down. Bits and pieces of their history coming up in her while he sits there, as handsome as always, speaking to her.

“I know a lot happened between us, but.. this year, more than ever, I realized that you and me we will always be family. You.. you’re Eleanor’s mum. You’re my daughter’s mother. And I want us to achieve what we didn’t manage to achieve last year. Being friends. Being family. I just.. I wish we could be fine again.”

Taylor feels goosebumps coming up, immediately nods. She relates to what he says. They will forever be connected. They will forever have to see each other. And things certainly would be easier, if they were cool with each other and she wouldn’t have to go into hiding whenever he comes to pick up his daughter.

“I know, Joe. Me too, really.”

“And actually, it was my mum’s idea. She.. she asked me to speak to you. And to ask if you want to come over on Christmas Eve. As I said, we will all get tested tomorrow so we can make sure everyone’s safe. I think it would mean a lot to my family to reconnect and.. especially to me.”

Taylor looks at him, and for the first time in a while, she honestly smiles. There’s no hesitation, no hiding, no underlying thought - she wanted exactly that. Even last year, she wanted nothing more than for them to be fine again, especially with his family. Eleanor’s family. And therefore, her family.

“I want to reconnect too.” She then adds, sees in Joe’s face how relieved he seems to be. He smirks the same smirk she knows too well, his blue eyes shining, shyly looks down to hide the fact that he’s indeed smiling widely. She feels a bit drunk, looking at his smile, at his shy way of sitting there again. The way he always did.

“And I.. I’m sorry, Joe.” her mouth suddenly moves. He looks up at her. “I’m sorry for.. for sleeping with you and then disappearing.” she says, can see in his face that he didn’t expect her to go there. And neither did Taylor. She nervously changes her seating position on the couch, moves her leg up under her bum, pulls the sleeves of her onesie over her knuckles, while looking into his face.

“It was wrong, I played with fire.. I think we both played with fire. But it wasn’t right of me to just disappear. I know I kept saying, I want you to change, I want you to be more grown up, more responsible, but… right now, it seems like you’re more responsible and more grown up than me.” she says softly, shrugs with her shoulders and looks into his face with every ounce of honesty. Joe doesn’t move, he nods. He’s thankful. He’s never been more thankful for anything she’s ever said to him.

“I have changed this last year, yeah.” he then adds. She looks at him, the flicker of the tv in the darkness reflecting onto his face. It’s only 8pm, yet it’s fully dark outside. A classy, depressing English winter evening. But Taylor doesn’t feel depressed anymore. Taylor sits here, and feels how warm and tingly everything in her is getting. The kind of warmth you would expect when something finally happens that you’ve been praying for a long time. She knew he had changed. She knew it every Wednesday, and every Sunday when he stood in the door, picking up Eleanor to spend time with him. She knew every time the phone rang, and Eleanor would excitedly tell him about her day for at least half an hour. Every time Eleanor would come home, happily fall into her arms, telling her about her adventures with her dad.

“I know you have.” she quietly says, a smile on her face. Joe looks up again, the mood as warm and familiar as ever. He doesn’t say anything, simply reaches for her hand. And Taylor remains quiet too, just lets him hold hers. It’s been a year. It’s been ages. It’s been a lifetime of Taylor and Joe, yet it feels like only a second since he last did this. Simply hold her hand. Just sit there, being there.

Actually being there.

“I should.. I should get going.” he then says, lets go off her. She just nods, gets up together with him. She can feel that he’s been overwhelmed. And so was she. Joe slowly walks into the hallway, and Taylor tuns on the little light, right on the side board.

“So, you.. you can get tested too if you want. Dinner’s at 6 o’clock. My mum told me to ask if you want to stay over…”

Taylor leans in the door frame, watches him put his winter boots back on. She smiles. Nothing compares to the warmth she feels at the thought of Elizabeth wanting her there. Her second mother. That’s how close they used to be years ago.

“That’s incredibly sweet but, I think I will just go home after dinner. Eleanor can sleep with you. I can come back in the morning for presents.”

Joe nods, accepts her decision fully.

“Should I.. should I bring something for dinner? I can make dessert, or..”

“No, just bring some Eleanor.” Joe jokes, Taylor laugh quietly. He can see in her eyes, what a massive relief there is. She seems so light, lighter than he’s witnessed her in years. Nothing ever made her more beautiful to him, than her most honest smile.

“Okay, will do that.”

Joe gets up, opens the big door himself.

“Alright then.” She says. Joe smiles one more time. He laughs. And so does Taylor. Things certainly are a bit awkward still.

“Come here.” he then casually mumbles and pulls her into a tight hug. Taylor doesn’t say anything, lets him hug her tight. She closes her eyes, both her hands hugging him back. She doesn’t want this hug to end. It feels better than last year. It feels more real. honest. raw. They’ve come quite a long way.

“Thank you so much.” she mumbles once more, and Joe ends the hug, smiling at her once more.

“You too.” He whispers, then slowly lets go off her and leaves the house. Taylor just stands in the doorway and watches him walk off. She waves one last time, only until he’s left the road her house is on and then closes the door.

She looks into the big mirror one last time, fixes her messed up bangs and makes sure her long sleeve cotton dress covers everything it needs to cover. The past two days have been interesting. She’s been telling her friends about this afternoon with Joe. About their holding hands, their hug, his invitation for her to join their family Christmas again. Taylor couldn’t be more thankful yet she knows that she needs to take it slow. That if they’re really onto something real and good, then this time, they need to take it extra slow.

Taylor turns around again, then perfects her red lipstick. Even though she wants ‘extra slow’, she can still look fabulous tonight.

“Honey? We need to leave.” Taylor yells upstairs, hears Eleanor answering her from the bathroom. Taylor quickly puts on her black coat, grabs her tiny handbag and walks upstairs. Just when she enters her daughter’s room is when she has to laugh. There’s tiny bits of paper everywhere, it seems that Eleanor’s self made presents have certainly taken up a lot of paper and created quite a mess in this room. But Taylor can’t be strict today. She knows how excited Eleanor is for today. And so is she.

“Ready?” Taylor asks, looks at her baby girl collecting her favorite toys for her tiny backpack that she wants to bring for her sleepover at grandma’s house.

“Yes, mommy. Look, all my presents are in here.” she says, shows her mum the little paper bag she has designed herself with all the kitten stickers on top of it. Taylor laughs, bends down to kiss Eleanor’s hair.

“Come on, put your shoes and jacket on. Brandon is outside waiting for us.” she says and Eleanor storms downstairs. A few minutes later, Taylor fixes the mask on her face before getting into the big black car where Brandon is sitting. Right next to Eleanor, Taylor feels her stomach churning. She feels as nervous as back then when she would meet his family for the first time. In a way, it feels exactly like that. It’s meeting them again since a very long time. A very long time with absolutely no contact. Filled with fears and guilt and anger.

But not tonight.

After less than fifteen minutes, the big black car stops right in front of the little brick stone house right at Budwick’s Lane. Eleanor gets out of the car, her little backpack on, as happy as ever. Taylor closes the car’s door, carries the pink bag with Eleanor’s toiletries and clothes, waving Brandon goodbye.

While Eleanor is already running up to the doors entry, Taylor feels how nauseous she suddenly gets. Standing there for a minute, she just takes a good look at the old brick stone a house, covered in ivy. The light shining out from the little hatch, right above the guest bathroom window. This house was once her first home away from home, in this country. So many memories that she feels all at once. Good and bad ones. Taylor suddenly wonders, if this was really Elizabeth’s idea? After all, she will never be able to forget Elizabeth’s angry stare a year ago at Eleanor’s theatre performance at pre- school.

Without Taylor being able to take a last deep breath, the old door opens and Richard stands there, Eleanor immediately jumping onto his arms. He hasn’t changed. He’s still Joe’s dad.

“Grandpa!” Eleanor yells, seems just as happy as Richard to see her.

“My little monkey.” he smiles, kisses the five year old on her head. Taylor just stands there, swallowing once.

“Merry Christmas.” she just says, slowly follows her daughter who’s been running off into the living room already. Richard just stands there and smiles, then does something she never expected. Within a few seconds, he just signals her to come in and pulls her into a warm hug. Just like he did back then.

“Merry Christmas, Taylor.” he says, then slowly let’s go. “You look fantastic, have you been well this year?” Taylor is certainly a bit overwhelmed by the hug, nods immediately as Richard helps her take off her jacket.

“I’m great! How are you?” she asks, just looks around and feels the greatest sensation of ‘home’ she could ever imagine. The old fireplace in the living room is lit, she can see that from the hallway. Laughter and Joe’s voice is coming from kitchen. The smell of Elizabeth’s Christmas pie. Nothing has changed.

“Oh thanks, we’re good as always. Come in, I think Elizabeth..” Taylor walks in, when just in that moment, Elizabeth stands right in front of her. This is the moment she’s been dreading the most.

“Merry Christmas!” Taylor just stutters, feels an immense amount of relief when Elizabeth smiles warmly. The sixty year old woman hasn’t changed the slightest. Her brown hair hanging down her shoulders. She quickly places the kitchen towel on the counter and walks towards Taylor.

“We’re very happy you two are joining us.” Elizabeth says, then hugs Taylor as well. But this time, the hug is slower. More honest. Taylor closes her eyes, feels how emotional she’s getting. This place, these arms, used to be family. No matter what is and no matter what has been, she couldn’t be more thankful for this peace offer from her side. As Taylor slowly let’s go, Elizabeth smiles at her warmly.

“I missed you.” she says quietly. Taylor nods immediately.

“I missed you too.”

Just when Taylor was about to say something else, Eleanor starts to pull on Taylor’s dress.

“Mummy, mummy look! Santa Claus already left me one present under the tree for tonight.” she yells excitedly. Taylor as well as everyone else in near proximity laughs quietly at the young girl’s excitement. Just when Taylor was about to crouch down to tell Eleanor how happy she is for her, is the moment when Joe suddenly stops in front of her, pulls Taylor into another hug.

But this one is making her knees go weaker than the ones before.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” he whispers, and Taylor closes her eyes. If only he knew how happy she is to be here.

After a few seconds, Joe slowly lets go and looks at her smiley face. Her cheeks are red and she seems flushed. He knew it would mean the world to her to finally leave behind the conflict she had with his family.

“I’m glad to be here too.” she smiles at him, as Joe slowly takes her hand and walks into the living room with her. Right next to the big Christmas tree that is lit up with dozens of little lights, Taylor can see Patrick and Tom stand there with Nicole and two other people. A bit confused, Taylor just lets him take her by the hand.

“I’m so happy that you get to finally meet Naomi.” he then says, comes to a full stop with Taylor right in front of the brunette woman. With long brown hair and the most stunning smile, Naomi gives Taylor the hand and smiles warmly.

“Taylor, so nice to finally meet you.” she says and Taylor feels like someone just ripped out her stomach and put it back in again. With shaky hands, Taylor forces herself to smile back at the woman, looks more than confused at Joe. He seems so nervous, carefully places his hand on Naomi’s back, his gentle eyes looking at the brunette girl, ensuring she’s doing fine. Taylor feels like fainting, uses all the power within her to remain standing. Right here, in this living room, where she was once the one meeting family. Right here, where she was once the one being looked after by his kind eyes. The living room in which their daughter celebrated almost every Christmas so far.

“Nice to meet you too.” Taylor then brings out, is more than proud of herself for having been able to say these few words.

Shocked but more than angry at herself, Taylor looks at Naomi and back at Joe. How stupid she was, to think that his peace offer was for more than them reconnecting. He wanted to them to be civil. He wanted to finally close the chapter Taylor.

How stupid she was.

Taylor immediately looks at Eleanor, who pulls once more on her dress. Taylor never thought she could be so happy to be interrupted by her daughter, but she is. She is thankful for every second, in which she doesn’t have to face Naomi or Joe or worse - them both together.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I was so nervous to meet you, so... wow I’m really embarrassing right now.” Naomi says to Taylor, who’s now looking up at her again. Taylor swallows, fakes her nicest smile. And she’s doing quite well so far. She’s doing well, up until she sees Joe’s soft laugh, and his hand that is right on her back again, stroking her up and down.

“Tay, hey.” a young man suddenly says, and Taylor turns around. She sees Patrick standing in front of her, who hugs her immediately. He’s taller than she remembered and it’s still hard for her to comprehend that he’s no longer the shy fourteen year old she once knew, but instead a twenty- two year old university graduate. For the first time tonight, she honestly feels happy to shake someone else’s hand. Someone she hasn’t met before.

“This is Jess, my girlfriend.”

Taylor smiles at the blonde girl and then at Patrick.

“So nice to meet you!” she quickly says, then looks at Patrick again.

“Joe said you two moved in together?” Taylor asks, and Patrick nods. Taylor smiles warmly. She’s more than happy for Patrick.

“I’m glad you’re here, Tay.” Patrick says, and as always, she can still feel the truth in his words. Ever since back then, when she and Joe picked him up from his field trip, and that one evening in her rental house when she and Patrick had pizza and spoke about his heart break - ever since then, Patrick and her had a great bond. It’s not just Joe, who she lost. She also lost Patrick, his parents, this home.

A life.

Taylor can feel Joe’s glance. She can feel how he constantly looks back at her, reassuring himself she’s doing fine after meeting Naomi. And Taylor immediately feels her acting skills come up. She wants him to think she’s fine. She wants him to think that she’s untouchable, healthy, happy. That she’s moved on like him. That she didn’t spend the last hours recalling every moment of Monday afternoon.

Not at all.

To Be Continued.

#Christmasbound #lovebound #part 3 #taylor swift #joe alwyn #joe and taylor #taylor swift fanfiction #fanfiction #london #christmas #love

141 notes · View notes

explorationsoftheid · 3 years

Text

I just ran across these on Instagram.

Now I won’t say this is an absolute list but it is interesting. Starting from the top:

I don’t make noises. I want QUIET, and I don’t disturb that quiet.

I have my habits and ways of doing things. I tend to make the same thing for breakfast and take the same thing for lunch. It bugs me to change my routine whether for food, or how we do something, or what the schedule is. At work they changed the test sheet for one of the devices and I was really annoyed that it was different. It wasn’t that the change was bad, just different. Fun Fact, at work I managed to make it my JOB to develop and write procedures for things we do and make.

I like colours and lights. I was fascinated by prisms in school, even made a couple. Give ten year old me a couple of mirrors and a prism and I’d happily spend the afternoon fiddling with them until the sun went down.

Safe Spot? My desk. I work there, watch videos there, eat there, When in doubt that’s my happy place.

Motor Coordination? Don’t make me laugh. I almost gave myself a black eye on the trampoline, with my knee. Dancing is a totally lost cause. I chronically trip going up stairs. I’m continually dropping, tripping or poking myself because I’m just crap when it comes to coordination. On the other hand running was great because I could set up a pattern, a pace, and just keep it going all day. I still work out by running on the treadmill.

I’ve never liked Christmas. I mean starting with taking down all of our perfectly good stuff to put up “holiday” things, knowing full well you have to switch it all back in a month. Then there’s the parties, and the crowds, and well everything. The IDEA of Christmas is fine, but I’m not comfortable with the execution.

Yeah, on my desk I have a lamp with the transformer in the base. It gets warm. I find that I’ll spend a lot of the day with my left hand on the base of the lamp. I like kitties for the same reason. Nothing like warm AND purring.

I’m not so worried about my food touching, I don’t want them to mix, but if a little gravy gets on the peas I’m cool. I do tend to eat each food and then go to the next. (I still eat M&Ms by colour).

Oh yes I used to wear sunglasses all the time outdoors, and sometimes indoors. Less so now because I’ve arranged things to not be so bright.

I used to sit weird a lot. On my foot, sideways with my legs over the arm of the chair, on the floor with my book on the chair. Yeah I did that.

Not much for headphones. Honestly I don’t listen to much music, though that comes and goes. Mostly I keep my workspace as quiet as possibler. At my job I have some of those muff-style hearing protectors. I’ll wear those of the ambient noise level goes up.

Loud noises? See previous answer.

I do like animals. Oddly I’m more fascinated with extinct ones though.

Comfy clothes? Yes, but for me it’s jeans and a three button sport shirt. For a long time I had a series of light, long sleeve cotton jackets. I’d wear them outdoors, indoors, everywhere. When I got my wisdom teeth pulled we went home, and I was still doped up pretty good. My SO put me to bed but I refused to let her take my jeans or jacket off. I woke up a few hours later and asked why I was in bed fully clothed with my jacket and even shoes on. “Don’t go there” was all she said.

I doodle, I draw, I colour, I like it.

Define “plain food?”

I tend to fidget more by bouncing my knee than my hands. I learned early on that was more acceptable than drumming my fingers, or wiggling them, or whatever.

I’ll keep my shoes until they are falling apart before I get new ones. Last time I hit the jackpot. When I went to get new shoes I found the exact same make, model, and style I had gotten two thousand miles away and seven years earlier were still being made. It was almost like I had just cleaned the old ones. That was a happy day.

Yes, I want to touch things. From the pillow on the shelf to the chromed steel wrench in the bin.. But I can hear my mother’s voice in my head, “Look with your eyes, not your hands”. Though I still really want to touch things to understand them. Fortunately my SO is of like mind so we’ll be in somewhere and touch the stuffed animals, or the pillows, or brush the sequinned jacket, or whatever.

And that is an insight into me.

#autism #autistic feels #autistic experiences #possibly autistic

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the-fiction-witch · 2 years

Text

99 little questions Jake Murry

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

I do love a soda can. Just so simple and easy

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Chocolate! Always chocolate!

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Ooohhhhhh uuuuhhhhh bubblegum it lasts longer then cotton candy, candy floss you just sit it on your tounge and boop it's gone.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Small, quiet and cries alot

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda can.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Uuuhhh... What. What is this I wear. I wear jeans and a selection of plaid button downs so, hipster I guess maybe I'm not a hipster though.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Headphones because I can't hear anyone or anything and that makes me happy

8. movies or tv shows?

Tv show. I must have all the answers to all the things

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Pool chlorine and calipos

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Ping pong. Bitch I was the k Ping pong master! Only one loss in ny whole school time, and she was cheating

(Y/n from laying upside down on the bed) I didn't cheat I just distracted you

By pulling your shirt up and jumping up and down

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Usually scrabbled egg on toast

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Music to chill it's a bunch of nice soundtrack music

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard. I loose my keys so much I literally have to attach them to my body

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Hummm.... That's a good question. I think gummy bears I love gummy bears everytime I get a bag I sort them by colour and then eat them from least to most delicious

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Uuhh, I liked golden compass twas alright

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Cross legged

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My nike trainers. I don't get this whole keep your shoes like mint like put them back in the box or like wash them, there shoes they go on my feet they will get muddy

18. ideal weather?

Grey, but warm

19. sleeping position?

Spooning my sweet y/n

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop, I sit on my bed on my laptop just working for hours with my headphones on

21. obsession from childhood?

Video games!

22. role model?

Uuuuuuughhh... I have no idea.

23. strange habits?

I like to get two cheder biscuits, grab some soft cheese grab a little knife, take the soft cheese and wipe in on the cracker, then take another cracker and sit it on the top and behold, savoury oreo. And then I consume them all!

24. favorite crystal?

Uuuuh y/n? What crystals do I like?

(Y/n from the bed) you like tigers eye and red jasper

Ahh thank you, what's your favorite?

You should know that

Uuuhhh... Oooh moonstone? Yes?

Blue goldstone

Damn! So close

25. first song you remember hearing?

Genie in a bottle... Tis a very sexual song I didn't realize that for a long time like way longer then I should have took to work out

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swim

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Sit indoors

28. A songs to describe you?

The black parade I suppose. I really like that song.

29. best way to bond with you?

Sit and let's be nerds together

30. places that you find sacred?

My bed.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Uhhh jeans, nikes, button down, maybe a hoodie

32. top favorite vine?

Uhhhh.... I like I think it's a different thing but the little cat singing to the tune to the mulan song

(Y/n) the what?

You know the little cat? He dances and sings the song

(Y/n) what song? How does it go?

Ancestors hear my plea, help my mummy to earn more money, just enough for her and me kitty, I want wet food all day long. It's like the cutest thing ever!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

1. Love you, because I say it to y/n everyday 2. Boop. Because I like to bug her, that and me and my friend dan have been sending each other a boop a day to keep our streak going

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Those God damn meerkats!

35. average time you fall asleep?

One am! Because I have problems!

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

The first one! Ohh my god. Uhhhh that weird like stick man one

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase, then it's also a chair.

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade all day

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I set fire to a sewing machine. I kept setting fires in cooking, and in woodwork, and in electronics, so they sent me to sewing with y/n in the hopes that you know I can't set stuff on fire in there and somehow I don't know how, but I set a sewing machine in fire, I was just sewing it started smoking and then fire!

(Y/n) what happened was you where not doing it right the strings kept knotting up dragging the fabric down into the machine but the machine is still trying to move against the fabric making friction setting the fabric and the machine on fire. He got banned from DT and told to go sit in the library durring that class and read books.

41. last person you texted?

Y/n, to tell her this was happening today, and that I love her

(Y/n) love you too jake

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Pants pockets I hate putting anything inna hoddie pocket or just looks dumb

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

Honey! I love honey soap! But only real honey no the honey, I will smell the difference.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Boxers. And maybe a vest

47. favorite type of cheese?

Soft cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would be... A grape. Everyone likes grapes and maybe one day I'll be a wine!

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Acting like an adult is a myth, and the only thing being an adult really means is you can't stop me.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I watched dan try and jump from his bedroom window onto his trampoline, he tripped ripped his pants off and fell on the grass

51. current stresses?

The world. Need I say more.

52. favorite font?

I like chiller. Really spooky looking

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Uhhh oohh I need to clean my nails, they are so dirty

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Anything tastes good fried seriously, I worked at a really little kfc that maybe got ten customers a day, we got so bored we would just roll stuff in the coating and fry it. I ate a fried letece leaf it was amazing

55. favorite fairy tale?

I like anything with fries like actual fairies like tinkerbell

56. favorite tradition?

When we do a middle earth marathon every year!

57. the biggest struggle you've overcome?

Getting out of that gang business, it was a hard road I won't lie but I feel so happy to be out of it and to have some hope and somewhere to go in life rather then being stuck with them probably in prison.

58. talent you're proud of having?

My talent? I mean anything you don't want set on fire I can probably do that. Or my weird ability to perfectly time thunder

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Fuck dis shit! I would be a 28+ video game

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I wanna be like an amazing super hero guy

(Y/n) more like a anime perv

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

The time has come! I use that alot.

62. A characters you relate to?

I feel like me and the dog from Tom and Jerry just relate, dudes just trying to care for his son, doesn't want none of this cat and mouse business

63. A songs that would play in your club?

At the club? Starships! I love it, it's so mad I love it.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Bin wheevles I was a big bin wheevles boy

65. any permanent scars?

Not that I know off

66. favorite flower(s)?

I like sunflowers, there just so peaceful

67. good luck charms?

My lucky tokidoki unicorno, he is my all terrain animal, cause he has feet or we'll hooves, and a mermaid tail and he's also a pegasus. Air land and sea! He is unstoppable!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you've ever tried?

I once tried one of those japanese drinks you have to shove the ball in and it was cream soda flavor, with pikachu on it, and it was horrible I don't know if it was out of date or what but never again.

69. a fun fact that you don't know how you learned?

Dragon's eyes are on the sides of there heads. Like bunnies. And birds. Which implys them to be a prey animal. What the fuck animal would prey onna fucking dragon because I do not! Wanna meet it.

70. left or right handed? Right. Hello.

71. least favorite pattern? Swirls. Just no.

72. worst subject?

I hated geography.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

I do enjoy coke and lemonade mixed together

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? One. I am not a strong person with pain

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I have no idea. I remember I lost a tooth once before someone threw a doogeball at my head

76. what's your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips. Gotta love chips.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Succulent

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither I don't like either

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver's license photo?

My school id is okay, my driving license is not. It looks awful

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Lightning bugs they so cute little guys

82. pc or console?

Pc!

83. writing or drawing? Drawing, I like to draw.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts about murder!

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie. I hated polly pocket she was a tiny bitch who didn't do anything atleast barbie moves and you can brush her hair, and change her clothes. And barbie is now doing so many variables in skin tone. Hair color even body type! Polly pocket still a rich little blonde white girl!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairytales

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, could I have some? Maybe?

(Y/n) if you good

87. your greatest fear?

Toilet snakes. And spiders.

88. your greatest wish?

For it to be physically possible to buy a house and pay off a mortgage in my lifetime.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Y/n

90. luckiest mistake?

If I hadn't lost my ball over the fence I wouldn't have met y/n

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

I do like fairy lights, I got some that look like ice creams

93. nicknames?

Y/n calls me snuggle bug when she's wants a hug

94. favorite season?

I like summer time.

95. favorite app on your phone?

Uhh my phone says my most used app is instagram. Yeah that sounds about right

96. desktop background?

Its a skyrim landscape

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

None

98. favorite historical era?

I like now. Anywhere backwards are issues.

99. Favorite thing about y/n? Awww I have to pick one. I love everything about y/n, how sweet and forgiving she is. How beautiful she is. How smart she is. I love everything about you sugar cookie

(Y/n) love you too jake

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solecize · 4 years

Text

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. the boy you meet in detention, felix, doesn’t see colours. you want to gift his eyes with the kaleidoscopes and the rainbows of your world. the palette of your love story is supposed to bring together a work of art, but calamity lies beneath the canvas. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. felix x reader 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. swearing 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.8k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. do i actually ever proofread anything that i write? also yes this is really late oops anyways i’d appreciate any and all feedback, comments, speculations, etc. i just wanna hear that u guys are actually enjoying this <3 pls and thank you

ORANGE. | PART II - “THE BEACH”

you lived that sweltering summer to the tune of jim morrison and the taste of ocean breeze kissing the tip of your tongue. those moments played back at the back of your mind like a film reel, the rainbows and glimmering lights of it all with felix. before that, though, a dark shadow loomed over and stood firmly in your way. the first challenge you were forced to tackle before embracing your newfound freedom, was tackling graduation.

everyone hated graduation, save for their own few moments of spotlight, before they were rushed off the stage and reduced to trying to not doze off for the rest of the ceremony. it was an event for the parents of said graduate, rather that the newly finished student themselves. maybe that’s why some people made such a big deal out of prom, claiming it as “their night” and the “pinnacle of youth” or whatever other bullshit your classmates wanted to spew out in order to convince themselves that spending hundreds of dollars on one night was reasonable. obviously, you had skipped. that also meant that today really was a true goodbye to the last four years of pure lunacy.

“don’t you want to take pictures with your friends?” your mom had asked, after you finished posing for what seemed like an hour for pictures at the front of the school.

a myriad of graduates and their families teemed along the sidewalks and the parking lot and even just a few feet away from yourself at the entranceway. there were the mandatory pictures with the parents, maybe some with a favourite teacher, as kids held up their awards and flowers with stretched grins plastered upon their faces. you weren’t one of them, though you did get one decent award and a bouquet of forget me nots to show for it.

you shrugged. “nah. it’s okay.” at that, your mom proceeded to shrug and was distracted momentarily by a fellow pta mom, as they engaged in conversation about the terrible speeches that they were forced to sit through.

the four or so people consisting of people you once considered your “group” were taking pictures in the other direction, doing the stupid jumping in the air pose, as one of their boyfriends was dragged into capturing the moment on someone’s hello kitty cased iphone. you rolled your eyes at the sight. they were crying, something about how they were going to be friends forever.

“what a bunch of saps.”

whirling around, the one thing that wasn’t forced that day was the bright smile tugging at the corners of your lips upon the sight of felix. the chances of finding him before the ceremony were slim, as you had overslept and were basically heaved and yanked and hauled into your parents’ minivan to make it to the graduation. when you finally met once again, your heart began to stumble and leap.

even despite finding the entire occasion a snooze, you felt a little bad about sleeping right after you were handed your diploma. you missed felix crossing the stage and receiving his own. however, no such disappointment shone in his eyes, which were smiling at you.

you snorted in response. “tell me about it.”

giving him a once over, felix looked. . .good. you never saw him outside of school and thus, never saw him outside of the ugly polyester uniform that he had no intention of actually wearing properly. he’d abandoned his cap and gown at some point, just left in a grey button up and black slacks. his over the ear headphones still hung around his neck.

“congratulations,” felix said, shyly shoving his hands into his pockets.

you couldn’t help but smile wider. “same to you.”

the two of you had yet to cross paths again since that day in detention. it was almost as if he’d begun skipping class as much as you begun to do so towards the end of the year. maybe a little part of you tried looking for him—you weren’t going to ever admit that—when you poked your head inside the detention room some days hoping to see him or lingered around paradise ice cream a little too long.

but, you didn’t see him. felix came and went as he pleased, like a ghost. nothing was haunting about that smile, though, as you melted a bit under the sun because of it. you’d never met someone so genuine.

felix leaned against the wall, peering over at the crowd forming in the parking lot. “you’re not going to that beach party everyone’s talking about?”

he really did listen. you, on the other hand, had no idea about it. frankly, you didn’t care and felix caught onto that quickly with your silent, indifferent shrug.

“your mom?” he questioned and pointed towards her. it wasn’t hard to see the resemblance, as you took after her well.

you nodded in response. “where are your parents?”

“oh, they went back to work. always busy, they were only able to leave for a few hours.” that situation tugged at your heart slightly, trying to imagine what that would’ve been like for him. at least felix didn’t have to go through the mushy traditions.

a stuffy dinner party was in the works for you later that evening, with your mother calling up just about every relative within two hours away to come and celebrate your milestone. you wanted no part in it, preferring to jump face first back into bed and waste the rest of the day away watching tiktoks. felix made a confused face when you mentioned that.

“i can see why you don’t feeling like celebrating,” felix said, glancing around the streamer decorated walls, trying not to feel tiny underneath the intimidating ‘congratulations graduates’ banner hanging from wall to wall. “when you’re stuck around this place for so long, you’re just relieved enough that you made it out of here.”

you blinked at him and after a pause, let out a soft chuckle. he’d hit it right on the nail. you didn’t even realize that yourself.

“honestly? i can’t stand being here for another second.” you sighed, trying to cool down the blood beginning to boil. your patience was ticking and it seemed like your mom wasn’t going to tear away from her conversation with the other ‘can i see your manager?’ pinterest-loving, wine-drinking moms.

“so don’t.”

biting back a snort, it was obvious that felix was used to just not being somewhere if he didn’t feel like it. however, he had no idea that he sparked an imaginary lightbulb to shine above your head. your eyes darted over to your mother, as your confirmed her lost engagement in her conversation. she wasn’t going to budge anytime soon and that gave you an idea.

felix noticed the flicker of change in your expression and raised an eyebrow. “what is it?”

a grin spread across your lips. “say, felix.” you dug into your mom’s purse, which she had abandoned for you to hold while she left to talk to the other mothers. it didn’t take long for you to find it and you giggled when you came in contact with the cold metal. with a swift pull, you dangled the keys to your mom’s minivan in the air.

“uh, yeah?” he cocked his head slightly.

“you got your license?”

in retrospect, felix never actually answered the question. he only said that it’d “been a while” since he was behind the wheel, but that didn’t stop you from suddenly leading the way to the honda odyssey with scratched on the rear from your practice driving from when you began doing so. maybe you should’ve caught on that he either never had his license or was warning you of how fucking bad of a driver he was. but you didn’t feel like getting in the driver’s seat in favour of controlling the aux, so you gave him that responsibility.

“let’s go for a drive. you got nowhere else to be, right?” it was probably a little cruel to guess that felix was not invited to the aforementioned beach party, but you’d already spoken the words.

felix gave a mirror of your indifferent shrug and you grinned wider.

“you know how i feel already about those guys. drinking cheap beer around a campfire isn’t really my idea of ‘having the time of our lives,’ yeah?” he replied.

you weren’t sure what exactly took over and possessed you to basically steal your mom’s minivan with somebody you barely knew. maybe it was because of that feeling, the carefree feeling that zipped and danced through your veins like a breeze the last time you hung out with felix. it was unlike anything else you’d ever felt before.

a hint of hesitance painted over his face. “um, so where are we going?”

“you go out often?” the question was blunt, but you couldn’t help but ask, considering the surprise he wore when you invited him out after detention.

felix smiled bashfully. “no.” that was all he said, as the two of you made your way over to the old odyssey. “will your mom be okay with this?”

“huh? oh, hell no.” yet, you still unlocked the car with a click and gave an under hand throw of the keys to him.

the wash of uncertainty lingered on felix’s expression, as you opened the door to the passenger’s seat. then, he met your eyes and something shifted within his muscles and energy. warmth formed at the eye contact, gifting him with confidence to proceed.

time was ticking and you knew that the two of you had to back out of the parking lot as quickly as possible, in order to remain unseen and undetected by your mother. you reiterated this to felix and suddenly, you were wishing that you didn’t.

“watch out!” you hissed, as felix reversed and almost ran over a former member of the hockey team. the said male began cussing at the car, which only prompted felix to get out of the parking lot in even more of a hurry.

swivelling and swerving around some stray individuals and other cars like a madman, it was a wonder that the two of you made it out and onto the street in one piece. it felt as though your heart dropped to the bottom of your stomach and was threatening to burst out of your throat. your breathing paused for the entire time.

worse than a goddamned rollercoaster.

“oops?” was all felix had to say, as innocently as possible.

you allowed yourself to breathe, finally. the car was on the street and you were alive. hysteria bubbled at the back of your head and you began to giggle uncontrollably. felix looked over at your, eyebrows knitted together, before he, too, burst out into laughter.

the car stopped at the first red light and you nodded at something in the distance. “straight ahead and then onto the highway.”

“where exactly am i going?” felix gave you a side eye, as you began fiddling with my phone. he glanced at it and raised an eyebrow, watching you scroll through your favourite early 2000s throwback playlist.

“take the exit for the beach.”

felix’s eyes nearly leapt out of his skull. “uh, are. . .are we gonna crash that party?”

you froze midway through your motions and began laughing once again, uncontrollably. but, felix didn’t react and you realized that he was being serious. you cleared your throat and paused.

“no,” you responded, in awe that he thought you were that rebellious. frankly, it wasn’t just that, but you were never going to carry those kind of guts. “screw that party. i know another cool spot on the beach, it’s kind of like my hideaway.”

and like that, felix shrugged and returned to his usual carefree demeanour. you thought about how much you dug that about him. then, you promptly shut that thought down because it came out of absolutely nowhere. plus, the two of you were still sitting in silence. not for long.

you turned on “ms jackson” by outkast and the two of you sung along to it. every. single. word. at some point, someone rolled down the windows and the wind began roaring in your ears and through your hair, but the only thing you could hear were your voice, straining to be heard at the top of your lungs.

as the opening notes of “get ur freak on” began, you looked over to felix. the curiosity you felt must have been pronounced because he cocked an eyebrow at you. you continued staring at him.

“why are you here? you’re awfully trusting,” you chuckled, as you caught eye of the upcoming exit you were meant to take.

he made the turn. “i’m bored. like you said, i don’t have anywhere else to go.” felix’s tone was light, but you felt bad about the comment. “plus, i’m the one behind the wheel. if anything, you’re the trusting one, putting me in this position.” you managed to snort at that.

“what, i’m not scary enough that i could be leading you to some crack house?”

felix smirked. “aren’t you the girl who volunteers before school hours to help the lunch ladies? the one who exclusively wore pink butterfly hair clips for two years straight? the one who wrote valentine cards for everyone in homeroom last year? the one with a pikachu—”

“okay, shut up. that doesn’t mean shit.” you scowled and he laughed at that. you didn’t realize that he noticed all of these little things about you, considering you’d barely spoken for four years straight and you tried to ignore the butterflies taking flight in your stomach as a result.

he said, “senioritis really killed your soft side, huh?”

“just a little,” you admitted. or maybe you were tired of being the good girl that everyone wanted you to be. something in you must’ve changed, like felix said, after ditching your long time friends and beginning to do things like skip class and warrant detentions. at this point, you were in way too deep and clearly, you no longer cared. high school was a chapter finished and you were perfectly okay with that.

the next song that drowned out your surroundings, just as the smell of sea salt filled your senses, was “we could be so good together” by the doors. the song was definitely not on this specific playlist as far as you knew, perhaps it was slipped in by accident when you were downloading your music. regardless, you kept it playing and you saw the way felix began drumming his fingers against the leather of the steering wheel.

“your influence, by the way,” you revealed and he smiled just a little brighter, if that was even possible.

he said, “you remembered.” of course you remembered the way he lost himself in this band that day in detention on his stupid first generation ipod. how could you forget?

eventually, the beach emerged closer and closer in your line of sight. the traffic grew heavier, as the sound of trap music overcame the bluesy twangs of the doors. you rolled your eyes; the rest of the kids from your school had caught up.

“take the left here.”

“isn’t it a dead end?”

you shook your head no, they had long since expanded the street a few years ago. thankfully for you, the extended pedestrian way gave access to one of the best hidden gems in town. he didn’t argue and followed the direction.

felix turned up the music a little bit louder, even though you were now a little bit farther away from everyone else now. “i’d never thought i’d meet anyone as annoyed by everyone else at school until you.”

“yeah—wait, turn onto this path there, don’t worry about the trees—aren’t we just quirky and different?” you snorted.

although it was still a path nonetheless, it was a little bit cramped for the heap that was your mom’s car. a wrinkle formed in between felix’s brows and you tried to relax the atmosphere by continuing to mindlessly sing to the music. he nervously hummed along.

he blinked rapidly. "it looks like there’s no end. . .”

lush trees stood firmly on both sides of the path, dangling branches over in a wispy pose. sunlight weaved in and out of every open spot, creating a storm of sun on your surroundings. the taste of sea salt continued to dance in the air, though, dispelling any thought of suddenly finding yourself in a mystic forest. in the distance, underneath the voice of jim morrison, the sound of ocean waves commanded your ears. the car lurched up, tilting ever so slightly up to indicate the uphill drive.

“why are you avoiding your parents?” felix asked out of nowhere, glancing at you and trying to not appear nervous at the path.

“because today sucks. i don’t get the big deal.” you shrugged. “and honestly, i’m just a little bit overwhelmed.” your life had been moving in the fastlane for so long and upon the sudden closure, you ached for just a moment of relaxation.

felix responded, with a thoughtful gaze to the distance. “yeah, i guess you’re right. same thing every year, just a new class of idiotic seniors forced out into the world on their own.”

eventually sunlight transformed from small dots leaking in from the weaves of branches and leafs into a full glaze from above. darkness disappeared and you were treated with a kiss of the bluest sky your eyes had ever laid eyes on. the tranquility came to an abrupt stop due to felix’s unpolished brake. he was in shock and that sacrificed your back because the two of you hurled forward in the sudden movement.

“sorry,” felix said, but neither of you chose to make a joke about his driving when this beautiful of a distraction presented itself in front of you.

the engine was killed and the music paused in one swift second. felix wanted to drink up his surroundings as much as he could. the two of you were perched on the top of a small hill, overlooking the rest of the beach from the height. even though you still remained on the same earth and balance as the people down there, it felt like you were far above.

he managed to sputter out a low whistle. you grinned in response and hopped out of the car, trying your absolute best to refrain from stumbling in your heels. upon meeting the fresh air, you took a deep inhale.

“where the hell did you find out about this place?” felix looked around, eyes wide as he took in the view.

you were not going to expose the fact that you were taken here the first time by a boy that wanted to hook up with you. he’d parked at the top of the hill, just as the two of you had just done moment before, hoping to get lucky before you swore at him and demanded that he brought you home. oh, freshman year.

“i have my secrets,” you exchanged that embarrassing memory for what you hoped was a mysterious smile. “it really is beautiful, though, right? i feel like i’m on top of the world. the sky is clearer from up here and the ocean is, like, so goddamn blue. . .”

it was then when you remembered who you were with and your jaw snap shut after those words.

he couldn’t know how blue the ocean was. felix probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it weren’t for your sudden reaction, but he only shook his head with a smile at your sheepishness. “it’s okay. don’t be embarrassed, people forget.” a lie, you guessed, as he’d mentioned so few people knew about his sight.

a weight of gloom settled at the pit of your stomach, but you pushed the feeling aside. he trusted you with the knowledge of his condition and you forgot to consider it. you bit your lip, raining down on the apologies, to which he just waved off.

the male kicked a loose stone off the hill, watching it fly across the air and rocked into the deep, icy waters. “it’s really is beautiful, anyway. thanks for bringing me here.”

“actually, you did the driving,” you grinned. “but, this isn’t all. you still trust me?”

felix looked at you with a questioning regard and you took that as an answer. you had to swallow some fear down and the next thing you did surprised even you. you held out your hand and after a beat, he took it and intertwined your fingers with his.

his hand was warm and molded with yours to perfection. his skin was soft and pillowy, as if they’d been waiting for you for years to grasp. upon the grip, your hands became one and you wished to the clouds that you’d never have to let go. you took a glimpse of felix’s expression and you wondered if he felt the same way, trying to read the small small forming on his face and the light tint of pink glowing on his ears.

then, you remembered what the hell you were doing and snapped out of your daydream. he locked the car for you and you led him down the hill, just a few feet back from where you were parked. there, you tugged him towards the smallest of entryways in between two trees, having to duck underneath some branches and step over some bushes to get through.

the path from there was clear, as shades of creamy corn coloured sand roughened up against your shoes and you dared to not sink into the ground with each step. it was one, steep trail that led straight into the land below, with waves just about stirring up against the sand. there was not much room to walk and you had to walk in front of felix for the two of you to fit.

“hold on,” you said, as you wiggled out of your already dirty graduation gown, which you realized you should have abandoned at the car. you left to to lay on the ground, losing interest in it.

felix gave you a once over. “that’s a nice dress.” did he just check you out?

when you woke up that morning, almost afternoon, you were ill prepared for the day ahead of you. you jumped into the quickest shower of your life and nearly broke your fingers trying to braid your hair in record time. there was no room for daydreaming about what you were going to wear and you figured that it was going to be hidden underneath your graduation gown, anyway, so you grabbed the first thing in your closet, which was a yawn of an orange bridesmaid dress from a past wedding. it was a boring, floor-length with a sweetheart neckline and a semi-modest slit running up the leg. you’d ripped off the hideous bow on your way down the stairs, after not bothering with any makeup and from there, was hauled into the old minivan because you were already late.

“what?” you laughed. “i hate this dress. i put on the first thing i saw and unfortunately, it was this abomination.” you thought your tone dripped with hatred, but felix didn’t look convinced.

you climbed up onto some large rocks that marked the end of the path and tried to keep your balance. felix helped you steady yourself, hand still grasped in his and the other holding you by the waist. at that point, you’d also kicked off your nude pumps in favour of actually being able to stand.

felix helped himself up on the rock, following your motions, and hopped over the rocks with you. you grabbed a handful of the tangerine fabric and pulled it up, at least caring enough to make sure that it didn’t get wet. the two of you landed together, just before a darkened entrance into a cave. the entry was concealed from the main beach, far too tucked away at the corner at every angle and only visible from hopping over the rocks.

“what colour is it?”

the question was sudden and you gaped, as if you forgot how to speak. “huh?”

“your dress. what colour is it?” felix wasn’t even focused on the cave, his eyes still locked on you.

“it’s orange,” you told him. he nodded, his gaze not leaving, as if he were trying to memorize the sight. you frowned and put your free hand to his arm, beckoning him to continue following you.

squeezing inside of the compact entryway, the two of you were introduced to the interior of the same golden sand that brushed against the waterline in a narrow opening at the very base of the cave. another gap was framed higher up, a bigger outlet that allowed most of the sunlight to stream in.

“wow. just wow.” his hand squeezed yours just a little bit tighter, even there was no need to hold each other, now that you arrived at your destination.

you couldn’t help but notice the little things now. there were little fragments etched into the walls of different mineral colours, from the deep maroons and the slate greys and the rare navy blue. the small waves rushing in shone just a little bit differently depending on where you stood, just a little bit brighter or darker either way. even in the sand, there were bits of ivory for every handful of gold. they made the sight all the more gorgeous and felix couldn’t experience that.

he noticed your sudden daze, staring off into the larger outlet and your mind miles away. that’s when you were hit with a wall of cold water, hand released from felix’s and your entire left side endured the splash. you gasped, whirling around to see him with an mischievous glint in his eyes. with the addition of a soaked arm sleeve.

“felix!” your jaw dropped and he responded with yet another splash.

this escalated into a full on splashing match, until the two of you were completely soaked. your hair was dripping wet and felix’s sneakers were probably ruined.

you also somehow also ended up tackling him to the ground.

that resulted in the unexpected position of being on top of him, as the two of you gasped to catch your breaths in between your hysterical bubbles of laughter. it took at least five minutes minimum before the two of you were able to inhale properly again.

that didn’t mean you moved from your position, though. neither did he. felix wore a lazy smile and brushed a piece of wet hair out of your face.

“you ruined my dress. not so pretty now, huh?” you teased.

felix replied, “you said you hated it, i was just tryin’ to help you out.” he then paused for a moment, stumbling over his words. “plusimeantthatyoulookednice. notthedress.”

you weren’t sure if you were normal because you managed to actually understand his jumbled up words. you laughed off the blush heating up your cheeks and finally pulled yourself up, trying to hide it. sitting up, the two of you gazed up at the sky through the main gap in the wall.

for the nth time that day, you decided to say “fuck it” and swallowed down your nerves. felix sat up, awkwardly running his hand through his grown out hair. he looked at you, seeing that it appeared as though you were struggling to say something.

“what’s wrong?”

you managed to choke it out. “can i kiss you?” some sort of monster, one that was definitely not you, had overcome your being because you were in shock that you actually just said that.

felix nodded without hesitation, which put you into even deeper of a shock. you didn’t even notice that you were already slowly leaning in and he, too, as he reached out to lightly touch your cheek as he did so.

from a distance, the sound of music and laughter dallyed and with every passing second, a new wave of water rushed in. the smell of salt and summer lingered about. your orange dress was doused and at some point in the psudeo fight, your once tightly wound braids broke free into loose waves. none of it mattered when felix pressed his lips against yours. they were just as soft as his hands.

#lee felix imagine #lee felix scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids au #stray kids fanfic #stray kids scenarios #lee felix x reader #— COLOUR THEORY.

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buoyantsaturn · 4 years

Text

cool beans! (1/1)

summary: Nico needs a cat fix and stumbles across a certain bookstore near campus.

word count: 1323

read on ao3

Will spent most of his time bored in his mother’s bookstore. Sometimes, the quiet was relaxing, when he got to sit alone with his cat and enjoy the peace, but other times he wanted to go out into the world and explore. He’d made friends in undergrad, and Cecil and Lou Ellen still lived near enough that they could stop by on occasion, but Will wanted more. He wanted to go back to school and meet more people and work toward becoming a doctor so that he could help people, but unfortunately he’d run out of money. It would be another year at least before he’d saved up enough to go to med school, and he could hardly stop himself from counting the days.

It wasn’t always boring, of course. Sometimes a customer would come in, or Sunshine would chase a fly around the store until she got tired of it. Will would admit, it was a sad day when helping a customer find a book was the highlight of his day, but at least it had a highlight.

He was reading some fantasy book he’d pulled off a random shelf when the day’s first customer entered the store. Will glanced up when he heard the bell chime over the door, and offered a smile and a greeting at the guy that walked through the door. Will guessed he was a college student based on his approximate age, the amount of pins and patches on his jacket and backpack, and the fact that he made a bee-line for the academic section.

Will started to relax back into his seat when he heard a quiet, “Oh,” from across the store. He looked toward the academic section and found the customer crouching near Sunshine’s favorite patch of sunlight. As he watched, the customer reached down and stroked a hand down Sunshine’s back, then rubbed her belly as she stretched and rolled under his hand.

“Hi, kitty,” the customer said quietly.

“Her name is Sunshine,” Will told him from his place behind the register, resting his elbows on the counter. “She must really like you. She’s never this friendly with strangers.”

“I’m...good with cats.”

Will grinned. “Clearly. I’m Will, by the way. Just give me a shout if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” The customer glanced up with the tiniest of smiles on his lips. Suddenly, Will thought his heart might explode.

The store received a new shipment of books about once a month, and that tended to be Will’s favorite day to work, given that he had something to do. He wound up being so focused on reorganizing shelves and emptying boxes that he hadn’t heard the door open. He had no idea that he wasn’t alone in the store until he nearly tripped over a customer.

“Sorry!” Will exclaimed, struggling to rebalance the box in his arms that threatened to tip onto the floor. “I didn’t know anybody else was here, can I help you with--” He glanced down and saw the same customer from the week before, sitting next to Sunshine with an open book in his lap. “Oh! It’s you! Um. You know, if you’re just here to read, I set up this little reading nook in the back corner. It’s a good spot to study, and there’s a window seat that Sunshine likes to sit in. Um. If you’re interested. And there’s less chance of me accidentally tripping over you back there,” he finished with a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Oh,” the customer said, and hopped to his feet. “Um. Thanks.” He stood nearly toe to toe with Will, gazing up at him with a soft smile as Will grinned back.

Will jumped when he realized he was staring. “Oh! It’s just right around the corner there.”

“Thanks,” the customer said again, and stepped away toward the reading nook.

Will didn’t think he’d be able to wipe the stupid grin off his face. God, he needed to learn that guy’s name. He started to forget what he was doing, and the box in his hands started to slip between his fingers.

“Oh, shit!”

Nico was showing up a few times a week. Oh, yeah, his name was Nico, and he went to the community college down the street. Sometimes, he did homework, and sometimes he just sat and read, but every time Sunshine was curled up beside him. Will was starting to get jealous of Nico - it seemed like Sunshine was starting to like him better. Or maybe he was jealous of Sunshine.

Will was pretending to read a book behind the counter and hoping that Nico couldn’t see him staring at him over the top of his book, when the bell chimed over the door. Will jumped like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t, and turned toward the door where a tall blond man was walking toward him.

The man stepped right up to the counter and said, “Hey, uh, I’m looking for Nico. he’s been hanging out here, right?”

Will’s first thought was, oh no, he has a boyfriend. His second thought was, “I can’t really give out information like that.”

The man nodded in understanding. “Right, uh. Look, my name’s Jason, and Nico’s my roommate. He...lost his cat recently, and I know he’s been hanging out here. Could you just...keep an eye on him for me? And let him know I was looking for him.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure,” Will said. “Thanks for the heads up.”

Jason offered him one final nod before turning toward the door once more. After taking only a step or two away, though, Jason spun back around and said, “Okay, he’d kill me for saying this, but… Will, right?” Will nodded, glancing down to see if he was wearing a nametag - no, he didn’t own a nametag, which meant - Nico had talked about him. “Will, if you like him, ask him out. Trust me on that one.”

Will’s eyes widened. “Gotcha.”

“Cool.” Jason knocked twice on the counter awkwardly before he stepped back once again. “Uh, see you.”

Jason left the store, and Will dropped back into his seat, stunned. He glanced around the corner to see Nico with his nose still buried in his textbook, headphones firmly placed over his ears.

Will grinned. Nico liked him!

It was another week before Will got up the courage to ask Nico out. It must’ve been nearing finals season, because Nico had been studying non-stop, and a few nights in a row he’d stayed right up until closing.

It was one of those nights again, where Will had already shut down the register and flipped the open sign to closed, and was making his way over to Nico before he locked the door. Will tapped Nico on the shoulder twice before Nico pulled off his headphones.

Will smiled at him. “Hey, uh, it’s time for me and Sunshine to head home.”

Nico’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, shit, are you closing already?” He shut his laptop and scrambled to throw papers and folders into his backpack. “I’m sorry this keeps happenings, I’ve just been so stressed with finals--”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Will told him. He glanced away and scratched at the back of his neck. “Um, you know, if you want, you could… I mean, I was gonna order a pizza, maybe, and just… relax, and if you wanted to, you know, relax…”

“Are you asking me out?” Nico asked, and Will felt himself stiffen from nerves.

“Y-yes?” Will said, voice pitched a few octaves higher than it had been before. He cleared his throat and continued, “But if you’re not interested, that’s cool, too! I mean, I think Sunshine actually likes you more than she likes me at this point, so I’m sure she’d enjoy the company, but--”

“Will,” Nico cut in, rising from his seat with Sunshine in his arms, “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

thanks for reading!

buy me a coffee | more auctober stuff

#solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo #auctober #mine #my writing

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gale-gentlepenguin · 5 years

Text

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 6

(Master post)

_______________________________________________________________________

“No worries Rose, the shirts are done. Yes, I can bring them to school tomorrow. Okay, tell everyone I said hi back. Take... Oh you and Juleka are at 87% compatible? Congrats. I always knew you two were.... Mine? Oh uh look at the time bye!” Marinette ended her conversation a bit exhausted.

Rose was a good friend, but the girl had a way of talking an ear off if Marinette wasn’t careful. Marinette would have texted her, but the girl would blow up her phone with 50+ texts. So Marinette decided a phone call was the best way of contacting her.

Marinette had felt super productive after she got back from that akuma battle. Though before she could action on that productive vibe she had to deal with some weird emails that mentioned codes for restarting her password for ‘Soulmate search’. She decided to change her password just to be safe, probably smart if someone was trying to get into it. Marinette always figured it’s better to be on the side of caution when it came to her personal items and information. That is why she made that trap box for her diary.

Some people have no lives, trying to get into other people’s accounts. Marinette thought to herself. She could only imagine the type of desperate person who tried to get into her account for a matchmaking app. Probably some two bit hacker that wanted to spam her with emails. She logged in to make sure everything in the app was fine. Her personal information secure, and her compatibility list was unchanged. She smiled at the first place ranking. It was the spark she needed to get back into her productive mindset. Deciding that since everything was fine, she would not look into the matter further so long as it doesn't happen again as she would rather focus on her commission but would definetly keep an eye out for it.

Now able to ride her wave of productivity, She was able to finish the new Kitty Section shirts that Rose commissioned. The Second design really did look good. Now that they had enough original songs to make their first album, they needed a shirt with the cover on the shirt, which Marinette happily designed for them as well.

“The shirts look great.” Her red Kwami praised as she looked them over. “And you dont have to pull an all nighter like you did last time.”

“Yeah, it was easier the second time around, especially now that I organized my schedule better.” Marinette agreed. “With occasional 20 minute video game breaks, those really can do wonders.”

Marinette’s phone began buzzing again.

“Oh, thats right. I promised Rose a Picture of the shirt.” Marinette remembered.

She picked up the phone.

“Don't worry I was just about to send you the photo of the shirt.” Marinette answered.

“What shirt?” A voice that definitely didn't sound like Rose.

Marinette dropped her phone. Her face went red. It was Adrien. Adrien was calling her right now.

“Marinette? Are you still there?” Adrien’s voice came from the phone.

Marinette stumbled to the ground to pick up.

“Yes Here Marinette is. I mean Yes. Marinette is here. Speaking.” Marinette tripped over her own words. She was caught off guard by the sudden phone call.

Why was he calling? Was he going to say that he changed his mind about what he said earlier? Or was he calling because he doesn't want to wait that long and start dating now? Marinette had to shake those thoughts out of her head.

“Oh good. I was wondering if you were busy Friday after school? I am going to have a tv interview and it would be really cool if you could come along. You won't be on camera or anything if you don’t want to be. You can be right by the set.” Adrien explained.

“Really?! Yea, Yes. Free am I. I am free then.” Marinette corrected herself. She mentally told her self to relax. She was able to regain composure.

“Awesome! Oh, just so you know. Nathalie said I can only bring one person so It will just be the two of us and my bodyguard, is that alright with you?” Adrien questioned, Speaking a bit faster then normal, if Marinette wasn’t so nervous she might have noticed. “If it isn’t that is totally fine to. I am sure Nino would go if I asked.”

This boy was going to kill her. Just the two of them. Her and Adrien on Friday after school. Well sure there would be a studio with a bunch of people, but out of everyone he could have invited, he chose her. She was his first pick. Her heart felt like it was trying to burst out of her chest.

“Thats fine with me. Is there a dress code? Do I need to...”

“I was going straight to the interview from school so I will be in my school clothes so I wouldn't worry, besides you always look great so even if they do put you on camera for a bit you will be fine.” Adrien assured. “So its not a big deal if you were to come Into-view”

Marinette couldn't help but giggle at the word play, he sounded so sweet and endearing.

“Thanks for the heads up, I wouldn't want to put your choice in guests into Question.” Marinette punned back. She mentally slapped herself. That was such a bad joke there is no way he found that funny. That stupid cat is rubbing off on her.

To her surprise, Adrien laughed at her joke, Marinette could swear there was no sound the rang as sweet.

I will give that cat macaroons later Marinette mentally noted for later for his influence.

“I will explain any details I find out tomorrow. Have a good night, Marinette.” Adrien said after he finished laughing.

“You too. Good night Adrien.” Marinette practically swooned after she hung up.

The ladybug Kwami smiling.

“I believe that went well.” Tikki encouraged.

Marinette moved to her bed and fell back on it, clearly dazed and excited.

“He wants me to go with him to his interview. I was his first choice. It will be amazing...”

Tikki sighed with soft smile. Its a good thing Marinette finished those shirts and her homework earlier, it was clear no other work was gonna be done tonight. She wondered what Marinette’s reaction will be tomorrow.

_______________________________________________________________________

Adrien hung up his phone with a giddy grin on his face akin to the one he wears as Chat noir. She does like puns, another point for the legitimacy of the app.

“She said she was fine with it.” Adrien told his kwami as the cat consumed a piece of camembert.

“Congrats Romeo, you asked her out on a date.” Plagg commented casually.

Adrien felt his cheeks flush and his grin shifted.

“It isn't a date.”

“Sounds like a date. Not that I care.”

“It really isn't a date. It is just Marinette and I going to an interview I am gonna have. There will be a bunch of people there and It isn't like it will be just the two of us.” Adrien explained.

“Aren’t most areas filled with people?” Plagg pointed out.

“Well yes but I mean...”

“And if it isn't a date, why didn't you just text her like a normal teen? You went out of your way to call her.” Plagg rubbed in. He had a satisfied smirk watching Adrien get close to Ladybug levels of flustered over Marinette. Plagg desperately wanted to tell the boy, but he held in the urge by chomping down on some cheese.

Adrien was about to comment but his blush only became more apparent.

“Maybe its a tiny bit like a quarter date. maybe a third of a date.”

“Math is your worst subject kid and what your saying isn't adding up.” Plagg countered. He decided to to twist the knife a bit more seeing Adrien get more red.

Adrien knew he wasn't getting anywhere.

He didn't know why this was making him all flustered. Sure Marinette had always been a sweet friend. Sure she had always been cute and kind. But now just thinking about her made him nervous. Like seeing Ladybug without his mask on. Ever since he saw that compatibility score and started thinking about her as more then a friend, it was like a gate in his head that was holding these thoughts and feelings about her had swung open and the door couldn't be closed, and he wasn't sure if he wanted it closed. It all sort of clicked and the more Adrien thought about it, the more he liked the idea of him and Marinette.

“Anyway, it will be nice to have her come along. I am sure everything will go great, and Marinette will have a good time.” Adrien moved past his petty discussion with the cat.

“I am sure it will all go smoothly for you. I don't see Anything possibly going wrong.” Plagg sarcastically retorted.

“If something goes wrong now, I am not ordering you the camembert.”

“Kwami Abuse!”

_____________________________________________________________________

Still 100%

That thought made him feel warm as he walked into the school on that Thursday morning. He had answered the daily questions as soon as he was out of bed. He practically melded his eyes to the screen as he waited for the results. His 100% compatibility with Marinette was unchanged.

He also noticed that Kagami slid down to 80%, but she hadn't updated her profile yet so it could change later. But he was more concerned with the top spot.

Adrien arrived to class. He made his way to his seat, where he noticed Nino listening to music.

He sits down and nudges Nino playfully. The Dj turns to him and pauses his music.

“Hey dude, you seem in a good mood.” Nino greeted as he moved his headphones to his neck.

“Are those new?” Adrien inquired as he looked at the cooler, sleeker designed headphones that looked in a lot better shape then his previous pair.

“Yup, they were on sale yesterday. Snagged the last one in stock.” Nino bragged. “Half off.”

“Congrats.” Adrien offered a fist bump which Nino accepted.

Adrien took a quick look around to ensure no one in the class was paying attention to him. Alya was outside waiting for Marinette, so Adrien knew he didn't need to worry about any eavesdropping from the ladyblogger.

“So about yesterday... you didn't tell anyone about what I sent you?” Adrien whispered.

Nino’s face showed complete confusion.

“What thing did you send me?” Nino questioned.

“You know...” Adrien leaned in closer. “The compatibility list? You sent me a text about it yesterday.”

It took the hat wearing teen a moment to gather himself.

“Wait you got the app? Who did you get?” Nino inquired.

“Nino. I sent you the list.” Adrien answered. His tone more serious and concerned then before..

“Sorry dude, But I don't know what you're talking about.” Nino responded. The Dj pulled out his phone to show Adrien the texts. Sure enough, the exchange from yesterday was absent.

Adrien was shocked.

“Thats impossible.” Adrien spoke as he pulled out his phone and looked at his messages, it was identical to Nino’s except that the exchange from yesterday was present.

Nino looked at it.

“That is bizarre. Cause I didn't message you yesterday. I know I didnt message you then because that was when I was leaving to go get this.” Nino gestured to his headphones. “I was setting up Chris with someone to watch him just before leaving. “

Nino looked closer at Adrien’s phone as if staring at some parallel world.

Adrien was definitely lost. If Nino didn't text him, who did? Who did Nino have watch Chris? Would that person be respon--”

“Holy shit dude!” Nino exclaimed interrupting Adrien’s thoughts. “You got one h...”

Adrien immediately covered Nino’s mouth.

The whole class now looking at the two teens.

Adrien felt embarrassed.

“He was surprised by my high score in super penguino.” Adrien lied.

The class went with it and decided that Nino’s reaction wasn't important enough to look into.

‘Thank Kwami for short attention spans’ Adrien thought as he waited for Nino to calm down before removing his hand.

Adrien practically yanked Nino out of the classroom to ensure no one was listening in.

“Dude!” He whispered in shock. “I can't believe you got 100% and with Marinette.” Nino was in shock from seeing the compatibility score in the photo. “I mean I’m not surprised you two scored high, but 100%? That is so choice. I am a bit jealous, I haven’t even gotten 100% with my girlfriend.”

Alya is probably gonna flip when she finds out. Oh man if she finds out and knew that I knew? She might kill me if she finds out from someone else. Nino thought to himself.

“Can we discuss this later? I don't want people finding out about it yet.” Adrien pleaded.

“Why dude? Aren't you happy that Marinette is at the top of the list?” Nino asked with a bit of worry that Adrien might want to turn the designer down.

“I am happy, more then I thought I would be with anyone. But I don't want people finding out yet.” Adrien replied.

“If you are chill with it then what’s the big...”

“If word gets around that someone has 100% compatibility with me, things could get... complicated. Especially for Marinette.” Adrien interrupted. “You have seen how my fans can get. I don't want to throw Marinette into that if I can avoid it. Not until I know she is fine with this, with me, with everything.”

Nino could see the genuine worry on his friend’s face. He could tell Adrien cared about Marinette. He always knew he did, but now it seemed even clearer then before.

“Okay dude, I won't tell a soul. Except I might need to tell Alya, She will want to know.” Nino responded.

“Yes, you can tell Alya only. As long as she swears not to tell anyone.”

“I will swear her to secrecy.” Nino assured.

“Thanks Nino. But that brings up the question, if you didn't text me, then who did?”

“I couldn't tell you. Maybe someone hacked your phone. The only person that had access to my phone yesterday was me and...” Nino’s expression shifted as he made a realization.

But that couldn’t be right, why would she have an interest in the list? She told me earlier that she wasn’t into Adrien. But then again, there was that picture that was sent to everyone from Adrien’s phone of her kissing his cheek. But she assured me that it was platonic. Something isn’t adding up. She was the only other person that had access to my phone. So who else could it be?

“Who had access to your phone?” Adrien inquired, snapping his friend out of his thoughts.

“I think I might know who sent those texts. But I don’t know why she did it?”

“She? Nino who was it?” Adrien questioned.

“So you know how I needed someone to watch Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“And Normally I would have asked Marinette but she was busy with her commissions and Alya was watching her big sis’ match so...”

______________________________________________________________________

A car pulled up by the park where a certain brunette was sitting and had been waiting. The car window rolls down to reveal a bespectacled man with styled hair and a stern look. The fashion mogul Gabriel Agreste was sitting in the car.

“You better have a good excuse for calling for this meeting Miss Rossi. You are aware of how busy I am.” The man sternly commented.

“I swear it is important Mr. Agreste. Adrien’s reputation and his safety are at stake.” Lila responded.

“How so?”

“Adrien’s delinquent classmates have gotten him mixed up in a scandalous app that has him put information about himself and meeting up with strangers.” Lila spun her web of lies.

Gabriel took her words with a grain of salt, but decided to humor her as this would likely be useful once she was finished trying to make herself look good.

“Are you certain of this?”

“I am. Adrien showed me a picture of the app. I tried to tell him that nothing good would come of taking part in such a nasty thing, but he wouldn't listen. His classmates have sold him on taking part of it.” Lila lied. “You need to have him delete that horrible app, nothing good will come of it, it will just have more people trying to take advantage of Adrien for his money, status and looks.”

“She seems to be Projecting on to others master.” Nooru whispered only loud enough for Gabriel to hear. Gabriel nodded, he was losing his patience with the liar. Clearly she had been wasting his time. He motioned for the purple kwami to stay hidden before responding to Lila.

“I see, so tell me. What is the name of this app?” Gabriel questioned.

Lila froze for a second. She had thought she would not have needed to tell Mr.Agreste.

“...Soulmate Searcher...” Lila confessed.

Gabriel’s disappointment shifted into intrigue. He remembered that app. It was the cause of despair for the recent Akuma he had made, as well as other cases of despair that he was planing to use later. So his own son was using that app.

“Very well, I will look into the matter. Thank you for the information Miss Rossi.” Gabriel dismissed. Leaving an uncertain brunette on the park bench.

“Nathalie, look into this app and tell me everything you can find out about this ‘Soulmate Searcher.’ Perhaps Lila has given us another useful nugget of information to use.” Gabriel stated.

“I will be sure to do so.” His glasses wearing assistant nodded as she drove the car back to the mansion. “Do you really believe Lila was being honest about the app?”

“I doubt most of what she stated held merit. My son is not such a fool as to take part in deviant behavior. Even if Adrien was taking part in the app it is likely not as she described it. But that app was the cause of my recent akuma, it definetly has some sway over Paris. It will be something that can be of use. Gabriel answered calmly.

This information was definitely of great use. I can feel that this might be the start to getting the edge over those two heroes that have eluded me. Soon their miraculous will be mine and I will have my Soulmate back. Gabriel thought to himself as his face revealed a Hawkmoth-Esqu smile.

______________________________________________________________________

Part 6 is finished I am loving all of this awesome feedback and you guys keep me inspired to keep writing this.

If you want part 7, please let me know. I love seeing those notes and comments, It really feeds my impulsive need to write. And I am just gonna say it.

#ml #soulmate survey #soul mate survey #soulmate searcher #adrienette #lila rossi #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #If this one could also get 1000 notes that would be beautiful #or fanart #both would be amazing #but no preassure #Gabriel agreste #nino lahiffe #miraculous ladybug #ml au #Now we getting to the drama #Lila the b**** Rossi is at it again

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moonlightreal · 3 years

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Fate episode 6

When last we left Elemental Academy, I was seeing doomful parallels to every Bad Ending arc in Higurashi. And sadly, I like the three adults and my genre-savvy tells me they won’t all make it through this last episode.

How much of a downer will the ending be? Who will end up screwing everything up? (my money’s on Bloom.) Who’s for the chop? (my guess is Silva and one out of Dane, Riven or Beatrix.) Will we finally learn the red truth of what happened at Aster Dell? Will we ever get the skinny on what the heck Burned Ones are? Will the show finally give me the lowdown on changelings that I’ve been whining about since episode one? Will we get the full story on Bloom’s destiny? (My money’s on no to at least three of the four.)

And I suppose we’ll finally answer the question we started with: Good, bad or irredeemable?

One last time, let’s dive in!

We pick up right where we left off, Bloom having a mental chat with Rosalind! Rosalind says, ‘Do you have any idea how special you are?”

...waitwaitwait, is there gonna be a prophecy? There’s always a prophecy! A prophecy that the Chosen one would be born in Aster Dell and that’s the real reason Rosalind nuked the place. Only she didn’t know which of the babies it was, she guessed Beatrix and she guessed wrong.

Am I right? Sorry, I barely let the episode start, let’s get back.

Rosalind encourages Bloom to bust her out. Bloom flames her eyes up.

Aaaaand we cut back to the girls in the corridor. Terra wonders what they could be talking about and Stella teases that she once heard Terra talk about dirt for two hours. I’m liking friendly Stella, but she faceturned faster than Tinx at the end of WoW!

Terra’s also worried Beatrix may recover from being frozen and come after them. Sensible, Terra! But no, Beatrix will be gone when you get back, off getting the mysterious “him.” I know how these shows work!

Ahahahaha! I’m right! Beatrix is gone! I swear I type these things while I watch, all guesses are genuine!

And then Dowling, Harvey and Aisha bust in. Yeah girls, you might’ve not done this during a Burned One attack! Harvey says “Not another word!” which nobody listening is why y’all gonna get the bad ending, and the girls follow him. Stella resurrects her inner witch to tell Aisha, ‘Hope the brownie points you get from this will keep you company when you’ve got no friends.” simmer down Stell, she was trying to protect people’s lives… Aisha goes with the girls leaving Dowling to go after Bloom alone.

Rosalind is coaching Bloom on how to burn through the barrier. Bloom’s grinning, because magic feels hot and dangerous and you just want more. Then the barrier goes down and Bloom has a moment of worry about what she’s done before she… has a very caring moment, she grabs Rosalind assuming the older fairy will need water and food after being trapped for so long. That is really sweet, Bloom. But Rosalind says, ‘No. I need magic.”

And here comes Dowling! I assumed Rosalind would steal Dowling’s magic, but when the headmistress gets there everybody’s gone.

Opening!

Bloom and Rosalind come out a door in the graveyard out in the forest. Secret passage! Dowling doesn’t know about it. Dowling doesn’t know about lots of things, according to Rosalind. Bloom really should be having second thoughts here. Rosalind has an evil face!

Harvey reads the girls the riot act. He’s wearing his army coat, the same kind Rosalind wears, from their soldier days. He’s horrified about all the girls have done. He turns to go.

And Terra jumps up, “You lied again! About Rosalind, about everything, and you’re angry with ME? You can’t punish me for not knowing something you didn’t tell me!”

Yes! Get ‘em Terra!

Stella and Musa tennis-match look from daughter to father.

Harvey just says, “I suggest you all cool down!” and leaves without facing his daughter’s very sensible argument. And he magics the doors locked.

Terra: ‘I’ve caught him in a logic trap and he’s used his magic to ground us.’

Stella: “That means you won.”

Then aisha heads for her room to “deescalate the situation by removing myself from it” and Stella calls her a rat of a teacher’s pet and Musa asks for a brief pause so she can get her headphones. She flees into her room as Stella and Aisha get into it.

There’s Sam! Hiding in Musa and Terra’s room!

Stella says everyone over five knows not to snitch, even terra knows not to snitch, and Terra gives her a look. Aisha brings the logic: burned Ones, outside! Bloom, kinda single minded! Rosalind, an extra problem we don’t need right now!

Dowling checks the stone circle. Nobody there.

When she leaves, Rosalind and Bloom appear. So Rosalind is mind/light at least. Rosalind puts her hands over the center stone and absorbs magic.

Bloom asks what happened at Aster Dell. Rosalind makes a very evil face. ‘Everything Farah told you is true. I lied to them. I told then Aster Dell was evacuated. It wasn’t.”

Bloom starts to wonder if maybe she released a baddie.

But rosalind has more to say. ‘One of the fundamental tenets of the Otherworld is that only fairies can do magic. The settlers of Aster Dell were the exception. They were humans who drew on sacrifice and death. Blood witches.”

Gee it’d have been nice to hear that fundamental tenet sometime before the last episode! 9_9

So Rosalind saw an opportunity to wipe out the totally unforeshadowed witches along with the Burned Ones. And Bloom was a fairy baby kidnapped by the witches. Her fairy parents are still unknown. Bloom’s freaking out, but Rosalind just says, ‘You weren’t safe in the Otherworld, the power inside you was too great. that’s why the witches wanted you, to use your power.” and the Burned Ones can sense Bloom’s power and want to get rid of it before it’s used on them.

Yikes! Bloom realizes her presence is putting everybody in danger!

Rosalind: ‘Sucks to be special sometimes, doesn’t it.” But now they can go after the Burned Ones! And Rosalind has another trick to teach Bloom…

Hmm, so these Burned Ones were just… around? And gathering because they sensed Bloom’s magic? I assumed someone summoned them back after not being seen for 16 years.

We go to the fighters at the barrier. Remember how last episode Bloom drugged Sky and left him passed out at the stone circle? Well Aisha found out somehow and told the teachers so Silva is giving Sky the “why did I find this out from Aisha?’ and Sky hits back with, “Why’d I have to find out about Aster dell from Bloom?” But they’re in the middle of a siege situation here so Silva logically suggests they talk about that later.

Another few specialists including Riven and a girl named Kat who knows Stella are watching Noura’s last video. Kat thinks she knows where it was shot. Silva says, “Let’s go.” Just him and five students. Riven says, ‘Without fairies? that’s fucking stupid, there’s six of them!” and Sky shuts him down; order’s an order. That’s the most twit-ish thing Sky has done this whole show.

They hear Burned Ones growling… but it’s coming from the direction of the school! Yikes! Everyone rushes back!

At Alfea, the lights, that were never bright anyway so we’d remember this is a dark show, flicker out! Terra says the electricity runs on magic and there are energy wells… Sam says he’ll go check it out. He Kitty Prydes it through the door, unbothered my the sealing spell. So if he can phase, can Terra learn it too?

Spooky empty corridors! Flickering lights! Sam all alone! Y’know Sam probably can’t do that trick Kitty does where an enemy launches at her and goes right through, because he can only phase through earth-y and plant-y stuff.

Yikes! It’s a jump scare! Burned One right in Sam’s face! It claws him and he goes down yelling in pain!

But he manages to get back into the girls’ suite to tell them there’s a Burned One loose in the school!

Back with Bloom and Rosalind, Rosalind’s encouraging Bloom to channel lots of magic. “More! Let the fire consume you! Control limits you!” bloom says she’s scared and Rosalind encourages her to embrace that feeling, to enjoy it! “And with the right people around you...”

Bloom unflames. “You mean with you.” Bloom’s realized it! “You want me to listen to you and trust you and let you guide me? I just met you.’ and that’s not all! Bloom realizes Rosalind left her on earth a danger to everyone around her, to hide her from Dowling. “Without any guidance.”

Rosalind: ‘The guidance you needed was love. Farah couldn’t give that to you. Vanessa and Michael could.” Ugh, so their names are canon. And Rosalind knew about their baby and “gave them a second chance. And I gave you a hiding place from the monsters that wanted you dead.” And rosalind says she’ll always look out for Bloom, and when this is over they’ll find Bloom’s birth parents.

I dunno Bloom, maybe ask a whole lot more about how she knew about an Earth couple whose baby had a heart defect?

It had occurred to me that Beatrix might be the other half of the changeling swap, if there’s healing magic that can fix things like that.

But no time for that, Burned Ones are in the school and the girls are stuck in their room! Bloom has to go help. She asks Rosalind if she’s charged up enough to help help. Rosalind says she can’t, “But you don’t need it. BS, Rosalind, you could totally help. But Bloom runs off leaving the lady with the evil face all alone.

In the suite, Sam is getting worse, they can’t get out, and cel phones are giving up.

Bloom races toward the school. She hears noises from every side… but there’s Sky! At least bloom seems relieved he’s ok after she spiked his drink. He doesn’t seem nearly as upset as he should be over that, but I guess we gotta save the school first!

Inside dark halls there’s Riven and Kat with flashlights. They hear noises, but it’s just some students led by a male fire fairy with a handful of flames. Kat goes with them to the “courtyard” which I’ve been calling the cafeteria, I guess it’s outside? The big set with the arches and walkway overlooking it.

So Riven’s all alone to get the rest of the students from this area! He goes into the greenhouse… and there’s Dane! And Beatrix lying asleep on a table. Dane brought Beatrix here but she’s still paralyzed from the spell and Dane doesn’t know how to help her.

Riven just says it sucks for her and she’s not worth it. Which true we’d be better off without her but also yikes, heartless much Riven?

Dane: “She cares about you and I know you care about her. Don’t act like you don’t.”

Riven shrugs and turns to go and Dane grabs him. Riven says fine, he’ll help. Dunno why they don’t just carry Beatrix to where the students are gathering, that’d be safer for everyone.

Sky and Bloom are having the “you drugged me.” conversation. And the “I trusted you, I told you things.’ and “you trusted me but you’d still have stopped me.’ and “you were gonna release a murderer and a crazy ex-headmistress.” and Bloom starts realizing everyone had reasons for what they did and Sky wraps it up, ‘just because they’re doing what they thought was right doesn’t mean that it is.”

Back with the girls, Sam’s getting worse and something is banging on the door! it’s Sky! Did he just kick his way through an enspelled door? Badass.

Sky and Stella look at each other and say hey.

Then we all head for the courtyard and comparative safety!

Dowling is magically sealing the beautiful arched doors with trees in them, she tells the boy fire fairy to get his compatriots to weld them shut, and everyone to start making barricades. Silva’s handing out armor to fairies who want it. Harvey has a whole chemistry lab set up with a lunch lady helping him. Badass Marco is still getting treatment for his injury when the girls bring Sam in for help. Sam’s in a bad way. Harvey asks why they didn’t bring him immediately and Terra reminds him they were locked in their room. Harvey flinches.

Dowling stands on the stage where we saw Luna before, as behind her fire fairies weld the doors. She tells them the situation: Burned Ones in, power out. But she got word to Queen Luna and the army’s on the way! Everyone looks at Stella when she says that. They’re safe in the courtyard… but if the Burned Ones get through before the army comes, they’ll have to fight. Dowling does her best to be inspiring, “Let’s show them what it means to be Alfeans!” But I just feel… the lack of history. And I know, we have history. Feels like we don’t.

Sky and Stella have a moment. Bloom told him Stella ran away from home. Stella: “Home’s on its way here, so that’s fun.” Sky offers to help her hide but Stella says she’d love to take him up on it but… ‘Breaking up was the right thing to do, we never should’ve gotten back together. We are codependant at best, toxic at worst. This time I have to deal with it myself.” yay Stella! Grow into a better person! Sky says she sounds just like Bloom and Stella jokes that that’s what he’s into these days.

Meanwhile Bloom is following Dowling trying to convince her not to be mad. ‘Rosalind isn’t the monster you think she is.”

Bloom, you just met her you said it yourself!

“She had a reason to lie. The settlers of Aster Dell weren’t innocent. They were blood witches. And my birth parents weren’t even there.”

Dowling just sighs and says “She certainly has a way of winning people over doesn’t she.” Dangit, I wanted her to just kill the retcon and say, “there’s no such thing as blood witches, Bloom.”

Bloom goes with, ‘is your ego so fragile you can’t even consider for a minute you might be wrong about her?” Dowling says Rosalind is just manipulating, Bloom says you’re doing that too, and Dowling sensibly points out Dowling could be here defending herself and also defending the school.

Bloom flinches from that logic but says Rosalind is still too weak.

Dowling says the stone circle is the conduit to the magic of the land. It supplies everything… like the electricity. And the barrier.

Yup. Nice job breaking it, hero! Bloom singlehandedly brings about the bad ending!

Bloom says the Burned Ones are after her, and Dowling had figured that out. Bloom says she knows how to fight them now, but Dowling points out, ‘you’re he reason we’re in this mess, you’ve done enough. Help the other fire fairies weld the doors if you want to.’

And she strides off, pausing to suggest to Aisha that the other water fairies could use her leadership.

Aisha had been coming to talk to bloom I think, but she changes her mind.

In the greenhouse Dane and Riven are making a medicine to revive Beatrix. Turns out Riven is good at potions because he used to hang out with Terra. ‘Look, I’ll deny saying this but she’s not the worst.”

Ok, that makes Riven’s nasty remark to Terra in the first episode way worse.

Riven: “I might’ve led you astray this year...’

Dane: “you didn’t. Beatrix is special.”

Riven: ‘You are gay, right? I’m not blind? I know when someone wants my dick.”

Dane: “I think you’re hot. She is too, in a different way.”

There’s nothing like a cute threesome! ...and this is nothing like a cute threesome. But now the problematic element sits up and says, ‘You made the right choice. Rosalind will be impressed. When this is all over, you’re going to want to be on our side.”

Burned Ones growl! Rosalind pulls magic from the stone circle!

And Sam is in a bad way. There was a splinter of Burned One claw near his heart. Dang, I should’ve put him on the list of people for the chop! Musa tries to use her mind magic to take some of his pain, but it’s too much for her.

Harvey starts falling apart, stuttering that he can’t get the splinter out. Terra encourages her father, and Harvey manages to pull the claw splinter out. sam’s alive, but until the Burned One that tagged him is dead it’s only a matter of time!

The fire fairy boy says he heard they have the rest of the night and a whole day before the army comes. Too long for Sam, and if the Burned Ones get through the doors too long for all of them. Bloom, who’d been watching in horror the results of her bad choices, sets her lips and strides out.

Bustle of students putting up barricades. Sky is working with Badass Marco, then he turns and there’s Bloom with an apology. “I should’ve been honest with you like you were honest with me and I’m sorry.” And she reassures him that the kiss was honest, and gives him another one for emphasis!

Sky: “If I still say I don’t believe you, can we do it again?”

Well Sky is the most sane and stable person here, he’ll be good for Bloom! And immediately her catches Bloom’s glance and says, ‘whatever you’re thinking of doing… I’m here.”

And Aisha knows Bloom’s gonna try something, because Bloom always tries something and this time she thinks it’s her fault. Stella tries the, ‘If only her friend hadn’t turned on her..” and Aisha feels bad and she’s sorry. And here’s Bloom, come to get them! It’s the last episode, we all get to go fight!

Sky’s not with them, he’s with Silva and Silva has a final confession to make. Because he thinks they’re all gonna die tonight, he wants to tell Sky the truth about what happened at Aster Dell. Because that was where Sky’s father died. But Sky thought he died in battle…

Flashback! On the plains. Silva is yelling that there were still people, the town wasn’t evacuated. He wants to run and tell Rosalind. This must be while the magic users are up on the cliff ready to call down lightning. Silva says his friends think they’re only killing Burned Ones, but Andreas says Rosalind knows the truth. And he’s going with what Rosalind said.

Silva says ‘I know Rosalind gave you a sense of purpose, I know you’re indebted to her.” backstory there, but surely Andreas wouldn’t be on side for nuking hundreds of people?! Silva says, orders or morals? And Andreas… yep, he’s Team Rosalind. he’s not gonna let Silva warn the others.

He does not say, “They’re evil blood witches, we’ll show you the evidence and then come back.” which is really the only correct thing to say here.

Punches are thrown! The two warriors scuffle. Then Andreas goes for his sword. Silva draws his own. And a few swings in, he runs Andreas through. And races to the top of the bluff to stop his friends being accessories to a massacre.

Oof! What a thing for Sky to learn! And before that, Silva says, Andreas really was a great hero. Just… flawed. As we all are. That’s not much good and sky snaps, ‘What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?” But he’ll have to work it out later because now the Burned Ones are breaking in!

Dowling and the specialists move to the front, Dowling saying, ‘Keep your emotions in check. Runaway fear leads to runaway magic.”

In the clinic Harvey and Terra battle to keep Sam alive. Terra goes to get help and finds Musa zoned out with headphones. Terra begs for help and Musa says she can’t bear to feel somebody she cares about die, not again. This Musa’s mother dies last year, and Musa was with her and felt everything. Oof! The two girls hang onto each other and cry for a moment then Terra says, ‘It’s ok. I’m not gonna let him die.” And, understanding, leaves Musa to her music. But headphones can’t shut out the sound of the Burned Ones banging on the walls!

In the courtyard terra walks right up past everybody and starts dismanteling the barricade! ‘We’re hiding when we should be fighting.” Silva tells her they’re gonna be fighting soon enough and indeed, here comes a Burned One through the roof! The boy fire fairy blasts it and Kat is ready to skewer the thing when it… passes them?

It’s looking for Bloom! Who was last seen sneaking out a trapdoor with Stella and Aisha! The banging stops, and Dowling figures out Bloom has left to draw the enemy away!

The girls emerge from the secret passage in the graveyard.

Harvey calls Terra over as she is clearly headed out to fight, but he says she needs to stay with her brother, to help him hold on until the Burned One is destroyed. Then Musa appears and takes Sam’s hand. She’ll help him as long as she can.

Outside Stella points out that her mom is on the way with a real live army, but Bloom says there’s no time for that. Rosalind taught her how to stop the Burned Ones but she has to do big magic and she’s not sure how that’ll work. She needs help. Aisha will be there with her water magic in case the forest catches fire, and Stella can hide them.

Bloom: “Rosalind wants me to believe that she’s the person I need to get through this. But she’s not.

Aisha pulls the water from the pond into a cyclone around Bloom. Bloon lights up her eyes and lifts off the ground and… transforms. Transforms-ish. Flames spiral around her arms and legs, and around her body. Bloom’s clothes don’t change but fiery veined wings open behind her, first very large then dwindling as Bloom lands back on the ground.

The designers definitely could’ve watched PGSM to get this, if they then decided to tone things way down. And why not change her clothes? I’m sure they could’ve managed something. As a live action transformation sequence it’s… ok. They were trying for something cool and they had some good ideas how to get there, the fie spirals were good, but they needed to really run with it and they didn’t. So it’s just ok.

And how the night did Rosalind know the long lost secret of how to transform?

Burned Ones advance and Bloom blasts them with fire one after another. When the last one is down, her wings go out. And where the Burned Ones fell are… specialists? People, anyway.

Dowling arrives and Bloom collapses in her arms, then Aisha and Stella rush over to help. “We did it.’

Inside Sam suddenly feels much better! Terra hugs Musa. The lights come back on.

In the greenhouse too, where Beatrix and the boys are ready to bring the bad ending! I still smell a bad ending, because we just had a good ending but there’s twenty minutes more to go! The boys say they should rejoin their classmates but Beatrix says they should wait to meet Rosalind and her dad, who have a plan. ‘The two of you can be part of it. This doesn’t have to end.”

Dane asks if it was her dad who sent her to Alfea and B says he’s technically not her dad… and here’s Rosalind coming in the greenhouse doors. She and Beatrix recognize each other though they can’t have met. B says the boys are her friends and Rosalind reads their minds. I wanna say the boys are wondering what they’ve gotten into but… no, they don’t seem to be seeing anythuing wrong with this at all.

The girls are putting Bloom to bed, talking about the good ending they think they have. Sam will be fine, Terra’s great at doctoring and she’s sad she missed seeing Bloom’s wings. Tinkerbell is mentioned and I can just hear my friend cringing as they say Bloom’s wings were cooler than Tinkerbell’s. Bloom’s parents call and Aisha talks to them, covering for Bloom. She calls it her ‘one allocated lie of the week” which is weird. Bloom’s awake and fine, she could talk to her folks. Aisha says they’ve been having killer exams and the girls giggle.

Nobody says, ‘ohmigod the secret of wings was lost ages ago, what exactly did you do? help us all learn it!” which seems like a very obvious thing for everybody to be saying.

Also being all happy and going to bed while Rosalind and Beatrix are unaccounted for is a weird choice!

Silva and some specialists are scouting for her. No luck. They find Dowling with the bodies of the ex-Burned Ones.

Dowling: “Bloom transformed, Saul. She spent one night with Rosalind and unlocked ancient fairy magic, magic we thought was lost. She told Bloom the settlers of Aster dell weren’t civilians, they were blood witches.”

And Silva seems to believe it. Which of course means he killed his friend for no good reason. If it’s true. But if it’s true why didn’t Rosalind and Andreas tell the others, present evidence of the blood witches’ crimes, and make a plan to deal with things aboveboard? So why does Silva believe it now hearing from Dowling who heard from Bloom who heard from Rosalind well after the fact? But he does believe it and this is his awful moment of guilt.

Sky too is grappling with what he’s just learned, pacing on the lawn outside the school as the night ends.

Bloom finds him as the sun rises and I gotta say, I was not expecting the night to end! Everyone heard Bloom “went full fairy last night.” Bloom says it was the first time she truly felt like herself. She says, “I belong here.” but she realizes Sky is in the same clothes as last night and asks if he’s ok. He says he’s fine, which he isn’t.

Then Dowling comes looking for Bloom. The two fairies go into the headmistress’ office. Bloom’s feeling ok after her big magic, and suddenly she apologizes for all the awful things she’s said to Dowling. “You found me when I was lost, brought me to a safe place, gave me guaidance. Surrounded me with amazing people. And I’ve been...’

Dowling says, ‘It’s forgiven.” And Bloom hesitantly asks for a hug, or maybe offers one. Dowling looks like she’s never heard of hugs before, then she stands up and she and Bloom hug. Dowling totally gets teary-eyed.

Dowling: “When I became headmistress I made a decision. To become a figurehead. To project strength. It’s what students your age need. Admitting mistakes invites uncertainty...but not admittng them means people you care about have to ask you if you hug.”

Awwww, that was sweet! Dowling says she should have been more honest and Bloom says she maybe needed time.

...are we maybe NOT having a bad ending? I mean if Stella confronts her mum that would take up the time and we could end on a good note! Nobody’s dead yet! But all that bad-ending buildup...

‘Cause suddenly we’re back on Earth and Bloom is going to tell them the truth! Which, what good will that do them? And do you even know the truth? People told you lots of things. And the rest of the girls are here to hang out over the weekend! They head upstairs so Bloom can drop the “changeling” bomb in peace.

Music plays, Bloom speaks and her mother cries and looks at a baby book, ultrasounds and a newborn hospital bracelet. They believe it too, the whole mad story of fairies and magic. Of course Bloom summoning double handfuls of fire probably does a lot to convince them.

Sweet family montage, Bloom hugging her parents, the girls at the kitchen table, eating pizza.

Back at Alfea, Silva asks Sky where Riven is. Sky just says he and Dane are probably off getting stoned. When is this? Did y’all not do a full headcount after the battle? Sky is of course not happy with his mentor. Silva just says, ‘one day I hope you’ll see everything I did was for your benefit Sky.” Which, if Silva’s parenting produced Sky the paragon of decency and Andreas’ parenting produced Beatrix the occasionally charming also slutty obsessed murderer, good point there!

Here come some doomful black SUVs! They pull around and out hop a bunch of soldiers who surround the two confused guys.

Queen Luna gets out and… arrests Silva for the attempted murder of Andreas of Eraklyon!

Yow! Poor Silva looks most confused. But there he is, Andreas gets out of an SUV still wearing his specialist vest thingy. Sky looks at his resurrected father in shock!

Dowling is looking over some graves. Rosalind suddenly turns up! Turns out the Burned Ones are a sort of zombie, they were human once so when Bloom turned them human again and dead Dowling buried them. I hope she tried to find their next of kin and stuff too. Rosalind knew about them.

Dowling: “Are there more out there?”

Rosalind: “Shit ton.”

Rosalind must’ve already met Riven, his speech patterns are rubbing off on her!

And then Rosalind delivers the prophecy. There always is one. Or in this case, “There’s a legend. It’s a thousand years old. That’s how old the Burned Ones are, by the way. They were soldiers from an ancient war. The legend is about the magic used against them. It created them. it’s powerful. It’s primal. The Dragon Flame.”

Whaaaaaat? Really? Come on.

And that’s what Bloom’s got and that’s why she could transform. Rosalind let the Burned Ones into the school to see if Bloom could do it. Dowling’s upset about the danger to, y’know, everybody.

Rosalind: “there’s a war on the horizon. The Burned Ones are nothing compared to what’s coming.”

And Rosalind says she’s taking over the school, pretty much. We go back to the front yard where Silva’s getting hauled away in handcuffs and Queen Luna is giving the ordersy and there’s Beatrix watching and inside someone’s taking down Dowling’s portrait and putting up Rosalind’s.

Soldiers march into the greenhouse and Harvey and Sam smile weakly, smart enough not to try anything against six big dudes.

We learn that Andreas has been in hiding all these years because “I needed someone to raise Beatrix.” Uh, wow Andreas is one obedient guy! He also looks a little nutty. I dunno, the very regal beard… it’s too much somehow. Next to him Beatrix smiles at Riven and Dane who are I guess her loyal retainers now.

And then, infodump over… Rosalind straight up MURDERIZES Dowling! Well first she suggests Dowling might want to run away and take some time off, but Dowling is having none of that so Rosalind kills her! And then angry rock music plays as Dowling’s body sinks into the ground and flowers come up over her, making one more grave.

The girls return from their weekend on earth wearing the awful clothes from the trailer and discover… not the three adults they were expecting!

Well that was… something. You got the bad ending all right!

So lemme scroll up and see how good my guesses were…

Nobody but Dowling died, so my death guesses were wrong. And if she’s an earth fairy she might be able to heal herself under the ground or something, I mean weirder things happen in this kind of show. Bloom did indeed doom the school by releasing Rosalind.

We learned what I guess is the truth of Aster Dell, but... unforeshadowed blood witches? Reeeeeally!? That’s what you’re going with? And we found out Burned Ones are ancient zombies created by the unforeshadowed Dragon Flame which Bloom has for some reason. You’re supposed to foreshadow the important stuff for the night’s sake! That’s how things have weight in your story, that’s how you make the world feel real like the parts of it are connected to the other parts of it! The lack of worldbuilding has been bugging me more and more, can you tell?

Anyway we get a season two. I’m pleased because I’ve enjoyed plenty of aspects of Fate, but on the other hand… Fate has turned the already weird Winx fandom into a pit of radioactive rage-bees, and I won’t be sad to put that behind us!

So what about the big question? Good, bad or irredeemable?

I expected to judge how Fate lines up as a Winx Club show, but it… just doesn’t. At all. None of the characters are the same, none of the worldbuilding is the same. It’s apples to oranges.

But as just a show… I think I’d have to go with “bad.” The way the world feels so flimsy, all the really obvious bits of Otherworldbuilding that just aren’t there until the end, or aren’t there at all. All the Earth popular culture references. Beatrix being stuck in a slut stereotype role. All the drugs. All the everyone’s lying to everyone about everything, it got really tiresome. Those things knock the show out of the “good” category.

But there was a lot to like. I have to say, all the actors did a really good job. Given the semi-mess they had to work with, they gave it all they had! Stella was so awful but put across that she’s terrible because she’s terrified. Sky was a truly good person. Beatrix and Riven are objectively terrible people but both had moments of being so charming it was hard to hate them. And Dowling, Silva and Harvey managed to hold up this flimsy worldbuilding and almost make it work. The magic was flimsy but pretty and the castle and the forest are absolutely stunning.

So it’s not good, but there’s something there. So it’s not irredeemable, though there’s a lot we have to wallpaper over with it. I’m’a go with “Bad. The show has charms but is in general bad.”

At least that’s what I think after a five-hour marathon of the last episode! We’ll see what occurs to me in days to come!

#fate the winx saga #you get the bad ending

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