#yay the first thing i've published in 3 months

[omgpoindexter]

what are you top 5 fave nurseydex fics you've read? (a girl is needing recs)

oh yay!!! first of all i have to admit that over the years i've dipped in and out of omgcp tumblr and therefore have been very bad at staying up to date, so most of these are quite old. they are my favourites for a reason, however! also i did 6 not 5 lol <3

to be alone with you by @alocalband Will and Derek spend their junior year learning how to live together, learning how to be friends, and, eventually, figuring out that they'd like to be more.

i actually only read this fic recently, but it’s instantly one of my new faves. it is SO well written, the characterisations of every single character are perfect, and the story is so beautiful. i’ve reread it a few times already!

in so many words also by alocalband Derek writes a short story. That's his first mistake. His second is getting it published.

idk why but i absolutely live for fics where everyone on the outside knows what nursey and dex are up to except for them, and this one is really good at it. the ‘derek “nursey” nurse is unchill’ tag is very accurate in this case.

in front of the same small bathroom mirror by @geniusorinsanity It's not surprising that sharing a room changes things, but neither of them expect the most important conversations in their strange, awkward friendship to happen in their shared bathroom. (Or: five conversations Dex and Nursey have in a shared bathroom, and one in bed.)

i absolutely adore this story. dex and nursey learning to coexist and care for each other is so special to me and this fic captures it perfectly. honestly, anything by shelly is going to be a must-read, but this one is really really wonderful.

it drops with the gravity of rain also by geniusorinsanity It happens like this: “I don’t--this is a bad idea,” Dex says, his lips still tingling, his hands shaking on Nursey’s hips where he’s shoved him away. “This is a really bad idea, Nurse. I can’t--We can’t do this.” And there’s hurt in Nursey’s eyes and his bottom lip is swollen from Dex’s teeth, but he says, “Okay.” And then, “It’s chill, Dex. Just friends, then.” It happens like this: “Actually,” Nursey says, talking more to his granola than to them, “I kind of have a date.” It happens like this: When Nursey calls, Dex almost doesn’t pick up the phone.

another wonderful fic by shelly - i reread this one all the time. it’s such a lovely character study of dex and it tackles the subject matter so well. content warnings in the end notes.

things you said by @quidhitch / @maangoes “Awww, looks like Dex appreciates a lady in uniform,” Nursey teases, tucking his feet a little further beneath Dex’s thighs. “You have a thing with the head cheerleader back in high school Dexy? Hold her pom poms and kiss her whatnot?” Dex seems to be contemplating something, and Nursey figures it’s one of his lame clapbacks like your mom’s a pom pom. He brings the bottle to his mouth, smiling around the lip of it. “Actually, I’m more of a captain of the football team kinda guy.” Nursey chokes on his beer.

i always come back to this one. it’s just so sweet and funny. i remember reading it years ago and it has stuck with me all this time.

today the sun comes in by @playedwright Will looks beautiful, Derek thinks, and it isn’t fair. Time has done nothing to lessen the extent of his feelings, either. Derek realizes a little too late exactly why he was nervous. It has been four years, three months, and five days since they graduated from Samwell, and Derek is finally facing the undeniable fact that at some time during his college years, he fell in love with William J. Poindexter and never got around to falling out of it.

this is one of those special fics that stays with you. i have never been to seattle, but this story made me homesick for the city. mars is such a gorgeous writer and this fic is a perfect example of it! (also i miss u mars!!!)

this was fun, i've missed reccing fics! i hope i could be useful! maybe i'll do some more recent ones if I manage to keep up to date with the nurseydex tag <3

#i love fics u guys everyone in this fandom is so talented #answers #kimikofrenchie #nurseydex #nurseydex fic rec

[quiet-nocturne]

answer your 30 questions please and thank you!!!

WOO. HERE WE GO, YA'LL:

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year? Published? 22,685. Unpublished? A loooooot ahaha.

How many works did you publish this year? Currently, 3. Hoping to have 4-5 by christmas though. 👀

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? definitely cause i'm lovesick. That thing was a labor of love. My first fanfic baby in a loooong time.

What work of yours has the most hits? currently cause i'm lovesick (I ain't even ashamed), which is at 735 hits. But it's kind of biased, considering I only came back to fic writing in like october.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? nothing in particular - I'm just happy to have any engagement!

Favorite title you used honestly, no favorite as of yet. All the titles I've used come from song lyrics that are super royai coded/important to me, so I like them all. That answer could definitely change in the future though!

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? most recently, taylor swift (hopeless, breathless, burning slow), but also banks (cause i'm lovesick and you're all that matters to me anyway - she's SO GOOD for angsty love songs). Lyrics are so, so important to me. I have a ~300 song royai playlist (which I'm going to slim down and post here at some point) that I listen to constantly, lol, and a huge notes file on my phone filled with potential song lyric titles. I have a music degree and it's literally so important to my writing process aajsaksjljasjl.

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Royai. lol. That's not going to change any time soon. The extreme hyperfixation is REAL.

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Again royai. They're the best. My babies. 💖

What work was the quickest to write? Surprising, chapter 2 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. started it last night and i'm already nearly done the first draft. That thing flew out of me, especially considering chapter 1 was much more of a journey lol.

What work took you the longest to write? definitely chapter 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. it wasn't the writing that was the issue - it was the editing. I really dragged my feet on it, and could have had that thing out like 2 weeks ago. 🤦‍♀️

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? oh god. my wip's currently include: - chapter 2 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow - sequel to cause i'm lovesick (I ain't even ashamed) - a christmas fic - angsty, hurt/comfort, character exploration, ishval restoration multi-chaptered fic (I'm REALLY excited to work on this!!! yay angst) - roy and riza returning to her old father's house post-cannon and STUFF HAPPENS, fluff, hurt/comfort, etc (also really excited for this one! i've been daydreaming about it for MONTHS. Even just thinking about this fic feels like sinking into a warm bath. That's the vibes I want it to give) - ANOTHER post-promised day fic, because I'm a broken record, but this time more humorous/cute. - aaaand yet another post-promised day fic, but one where Riza REALLY ISN'T DOING WELL/almost dies like a million times at the hospital and roy is sad (!!!). - briggs angst/sick fic - does that make sense? no? it will. Yeah. yeahhh. That list is only going to get bigger. 🤷‍♀️ Some of these will also, shockingly, not have smut lol.

What’s your longest work of the year? So far, ch. 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow at a whopping 9, 792 words. It really ran away from me.

What’s your shortest work of the year? mmm, you're all that matters to me anyway at 5,954 words. apparently I can't write anything below 5k lol. 🤷‍♀️

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Oof, I mean probably most of what I had listed above. I aim to have some of it done - but it's already December 7th, so yeah.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Smut. lol.

Your favorite character to write this year? Surprisingly, Roy. I almost find him easier to write than Riza. Normally I don't enjoy writing from the male perspective. But Roy Mustang is just 🔥. I was so surprised lol.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? No one, as of yet. But we'll see what I say once I start working more on the multi chaptered fics. 😬

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? More Royai, maybe with a dash of Roy/Maes. Maybe I'll try a bit of Ed/Winry? Who knows!

Which work of yours have you reread the most? chapter 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. I am so fucking sick of it ahaha helppp.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? Currently at 142! You are all so sweet. 😭

Which work has the most comments? I think cause i'm lovesick at the moment!

Did you do any collaborative works this year? nope! Definitely something I'd consider doing in the future though!

Did you write any gifts this year? maybe! 👀 we shall see

Did you receive any gifts this year? nope!

What’s your most common category? ...Smut. lol. 🤷‍♀️

What do you listen to while writing? ahhhh I love talking about music with my ships! like I said, my ridiculously huge royai playlist. also all of my top songs on spotify were from it, which includes: 1. Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Ray (i've got my eye on you / i've got my mind on you) 2. Work Song - Hozier (no grave could hold my body down / i'll crawl home to her) 3. I Wanna Be Yours - Artic Monkeys (secrets i have held in my heart / are harder to hide then i thought / maybe i just wanna be yours) 4. Night We Met - Lord Horan feat. Pheobe Bridges (i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met / i don't know what i'm supposed to do / haunted by the ghost of you) - that ishval restoration fic is definitely going to use a lyric from this song SOMEWHERE Honorable mentions: Die First - Nessa Barrett (someone dies or someone gets hurt / but if one of us dies / i hope i die first) Ya'aburnee - Halsey (i'll never know / if there's danger in confession / or it's memory that presses / like a blade against my throat / another word and i could choke / but what's worst? / tellin' you my feelings / or to die without revealing / that you got inside my head / and set a fire there instead?) Dress - Taylor Swift (there is an indentation in the shape of you / made your mark on me, a golden tattoo / all of this silence and patience / pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you) 10000/10, would play at royai's wedding.

Favorite work you wrote this year? cause i'm lovesick. Again, it was my baby. I loved writing it so much.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? mmmm, probably: "She'd planned to stay angry at Mustang for longer, but then he'd surprised her by sauntering into her apartment basically the second his train had arrived, eyes blazing with desire as he collected her in his warm embrace, murmuring you have no idea how much I've been craving to taste you against the soft skin of her throat." (I tried to find one that was mostly sfw lol).

Biggest surprise while writing this year? Just being able to write, in general! It's been so much fun. 💖

#bless you i love answering asks #💕 #ask #answered #writing #ilyanairvine #answered asks #royai #royai fanfic #royai fanfiction #my fics #my stuff

[sattorntempura]

About the Fan/OC-DMC Comic I mentioned in my previous post.

HEY FRIENDS! IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I LAST POSTED LOL. I haven't posted because I got sick for about a week, then got busy with helping one of my siblings with moving equipment between different studios for another week. Then, I caught up with a few friends that I hadn't interacted with since forever and played some games with them. But now I'm back!

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU for the follows, the likes, and the... REBLOGS- THATS WHAT YOU CALL THEM, RIGHT? I really appreciate them!!! I literally jogged around my room when I saw someone like my post, or i see a new follower or a new reblog. Like for real, I start cheesing really hard, huehuehue.

(There may be some repeats from my previous posts for the users who have seen it)

I originally planned to release some pages around the first week of June, but there were a change of plans. The remaining time i had was going to be me practicing drawing certain demons from the game, certain backgrounds that I am not used to drawing (especially if it's indoors. But then again, i did mention that this little comic will just be for fun and practice/experiment before my big project.) But since plans have changed, I have training/school starting the first week of June. And then having to go to family events, and then having to fly over to Las Vegas sometime between mid-end of June for about a week. So that whole month is technically screwed, and the official date will be around the first week of July, most likely the first Sunday of that month. Too lazy to check calendar. But i mean yay! More time to practice! So yeah, by July, I should be accustomed to my school schedule and have at least a few pages done by then.

I was thinking of another platform to publish this stuff on, because Tumblr is the only one I've thought of publishing so far. I don't know yet.

___

What to expect from the comic

- The theme will be a little dark. (I mean it's in a Devil May Cry Universe... but, you know...) But I don't mean as in blood and demons and stuff (of course we will have that lol) but more of an angst kind of thing? If that's the right word? You'll see what I mean when I talk about the sections/parts of this little comic

-This background comic will come in 3 parts (like seasons in an anime LOL. Yes, when I say background, I mean BACKGROUND. But don't worry, I won't drag it. Trust.) The first part will show how the humans that Ezra is surrounded with use the game's orbs. Orbs of all colors of the damn rainbow, baby! It will have mentions of a certain protagonist that all of us have heard or read the name before and mention a certain antagonist that we may have fought against... then the second part, more mentions of certain antagonists that we know. The last part/part 3, the appearance of certain protagonists and antagonists. Of course, all parts will have enemies/demons and flashy moments because what would be about Devil May Cry without their demons and they stylish thangs!? Lol

-The present/after part 3 will be when Ezra officially interacts with Dante's crew and joins the crew. (Right before DMC 5 events)

-I don't want to mess around with the canon story too much, but I have been reading things that majority of players wished were added into the game or hope to add in the next game. For example: more lore, certain character-developments. Interactions between specific characters, return of other characters from past games/manga. But I know if I'm going to do this, then I'm going to have to do it right. Which is why im glad that I still have until July to plan this whole thing out. I know this fan/oc comic is not official/canon, but I still want to make it enjoyable and execute it right so readers can enjoy it. I might have to read the mangas again and replay the games so I can have a better grasp of what should be added into this mini comic.

-I do have to mention that I do in fact ship my boy Ezra with a certain canon character of the game. Try to guess who it is! Hey- you're technically cheating if you look at my profile picture... cheater!

Although you guys have been okay/open/welcoming about my ship in my last post so far- or well, nobody has said something against it (which is why im starting to love this app, I love you guys), I know certain users can have different opinions when shipping an OC with a canon character. That's why I'll be adding the -more- bar so users who are not interested don't have to bleach their eyes after witnessing my drawings of Ezra-and if you havent guessed it yet- Vergil being hella gay (jk I'm too shy to draw romantic stuff like kissing and all that jazz- i giggle, and such a sucker for romance JKJK ugh end me pls), but for real, they can just scroll by without a glimpse of this kind of trope(? Is that what you'd call it?)

---

Anyway, for those who are either not okay with oc shipping with a canon character or just not okay with Male x Male (Boys' Love type), then I guess your stop is here. But those who are okay with it, thank you. I appreciate it, and I really appreciate that you took the time to read all of this. It makes me happy.

Please watch over little Ezra while I'm gone:

Yeah, he wears a poncho :)

Adult Ezra. He looks a little sad, no?

Ezra and his friends :) they appear in part 3. I think you guys will like them!

The first one was drawn for funzies. The second image top left us part 3 Ezra, tweaking. Bottom left and right Ezra is present Ezra long after dmc5 events. Don't worry. He is not stealing it. He has a very good reason to be carrying it, trust. I hope I can execute this moment correctly.

This. This is the peak of their relationship. I know we are far from that moment, but I kinda can't wait to get to it. But at the same time, I'm glad we are far from it because I fear whether I executed this moment right or not. I hope I don't disappoint you guys when that time comes.

Thank you, guys, for taking your time reading all of this. I really appreciate it. As for the users from my previous post, thank you too. Seeing you guys follow, like, or rebblog my post makes me literally jog around my room. This and my next post that I will upload sometime today (fanart) will be my last post until July. Unless there are changes of plans. For the 100th time, thank you again, and hopefully, we come across again! Love you all :)

#dmc 5 #dmc1 #dmc 1 #dmc 2 #dmc2 #dmc #dmc5 #dmc3 #dmc 3 #dmc4 #dmc 4 #dmc oc #vergil #vergil dmc #dmc vergil #devil may cry #vergil sparda #dmc dante #dmc nero #dante sparda #dante devil may cry #dmc v #art #oc art #my ocs #oc #dmc fanart #devil may cry 5 #vergil devil may cry #devil may cry 4

[manonamora-if]

Retrospective 2022 (2)

See Part 1 of the retrospective and the overall graphic of 2022 here.

2021 had been a bit of a weird year for me (though it did give me the wonderful world of IF), with a lot of change. So I was glad 2022 was bit more... chill (kinda). I've dived so much deeper in IF and learned so freaking much in the past 12 months.

Long post ahead, breaking it here.

2022 Goals

Last year I only had a few goals: publish Scene 2 of CRWL, submit TTTT to the IF Comp, publish the demo of TTATEH and making Tweego my b*tch.

I am happy to say I've completed all these goals... and then some!

CRWL was updated not just once, but 3 times (with the last one including a bunch of re-writes.

I managed to submit TTTT to the IF Comp (for better for worse).

TTATEH's demo was up for Halloween (with 2 full chapters no less!)

Tweego is not a scary thing that I never managed to make work anymore (I even made an asset pack and guide to make it easy for everyone else)

So what's the extra?

I went from having essentially 3 working projects to 9-ish published ones, with the addition of: SPS Iron Hammer, The Thick Table Tavern, La Petite Mort (FR), The Trials and Tribulations of Edward Harcourt, Goncharov Escapes!, P-Rix - Space Trucker (and Le Jeu de la Dévotion - FR). All links are here.

I started getting my hands dirty with JavaScript (I know, the horror) and more customisation with CSS, and working on adding more accessibility in my projects (visual and gameplay wise).

Got more active in the community (here with Interact-IF, and on discord, and on the Forum... oh, as a note support your authors)

I've started sharing my little silly knowledge of Twine, by creating templates, and guides, and tutorials, and sharing resources.

Also organising my first Comp! (@seedcomp-if) with other peeps from the IF Forum. And we did that in 14 days! (kinda want to create more fun jams too now...)

Got into some trends, with one that resulted in the creation of the really bad idea that is @if-confessions.

And probably more that I forgot about...

Even then...

Part of me feels like it's not been enough, like I haven't been enough, like what I put out wasn't good enough. I've been struggling with insecurity and imposter syndrome for a long time, so this is not new, but it's still there, spiking once in a while, when I really don't need it to.

The slow but consistent increase of negative anons in my inbox (bound to happen with more people following/sharing my content) have made some days very hard to deal with (still, it could be much worse... even the hate from the leaks hasn't been too bad). It's hard not to feel emotional when something you are passionate about or something you do is getting egged on for not good reason. And it's not just the content of the messages (most are not even original...), but the amount of them. Honestly, it is infuriating and tiring (thank gosh for blocking...). It's also a bit hard when there is more negative than positive interactions in my inbox/replies...

Another thing that got me was the little to no progress I've made on both EC or CRWL. I had planned on releasing updates for both this semester, but I've been stuck in front of a blank page for both, or writing and re-writing the same sentence over an over again. Hadn't I distracted myself with other small projects, I would have done the same thing as last year and peaced out for months again...

And then I wrote it all down. I went through all my projects, all the posts I made and put it together that infographic, created and nice timeline... and I realised I was a bit dramatic about feeling like I haven't done enough.

At the end, there were only two months (April and May) which didn't have any publication of games, assets, guides, or update, and that was because CRWL was in re-write/beta. Even if I didn't focus my time on one project throughout the year like I maybe should have, there was on average something out there every month (almost 2x a month by the end).

Yay for unrelenting insecurities! (also, don't try to do as much as I did, I'm struggling with juggling all these projects, it's not sustainable)

2022 Achievements and Milestones

Not only did I reach last year's goals, I achieved a bunch of other stuff!

I published 6(-ish) new games/demos this year! And updated the other 3! I lost track of the count, but it wouldn't surprise me if I wrote somewhere around 100-200k words this year (maybe even more than 300k considering all I cut/re-wrote)...

I started experimenting with custom visual and macros (and editing other people's macro). Working on TTTT (and the update of EC) taught me so much about design and coding, and going much further with Twine!

With this newfound knowledge, I made my first template!

Got to learn how to use a bunch new Twine macros and tested a handful of different gameplay to incorporate in bigger projects.

Tweego. That's it.

I've seen my follower count essentially doubled this past year on both itch and Tumblr (getting close to 1k!).

All my games reached some sort of play milestone (from thousands to couple of thousands). More on that in the stats post, there's a lot.

I haven gotten more reviews and feedback on my projects than last year (the jams and comps have helped!) and in general more interactions with my posts. It's been so useful to grow as a creator and improve myself in general!

I reached 1st and 3rd place on a competition!

And participating in the IFComp was an achievement in and of itself!

And I'll add it here too: I helped organised a comp in 14 days! A proper one, not a spur of the moment jam, with an actual website and rules and stuff! (Now, I want to organise more!)

Honestly, I wouldn't have imagined at the start of the year how much I would end up doing this year, how much I would learn and grow, how much I would experience through it all. I got to climb that steep learning curve in coding, finding more about my voice in writing, designing some cool stuff, and share my love for the creative medium. Had someone shown me all I did this year back at the start of 2022, I wouldn't have believed them...

I feel very blessed to have been able to work on all these projects throughout the year and have gotten such positive reaction for each of them (and such help, to find wonderful people in this community and calling them my friends, and to interact with very passionate and helpful veterans in the genre and learn so much from them.

This year had some very high highs and quite low lows, but it has also been a very wonderful and fulfilling year overall! It makes me so excited for the new year and see what it has in store... (though I know of a few things already...)

#retrospective #manonamora #2022 #year in review #gamesindie #dev #assets #twine #sugarcube #itch #mtp #tttt #ttateh #crwl #sps ih #p-st #goncharov escapes! #lpm #ec

[allqrcoded]

Devlog 3: Call me Baygon because i'm antibug

big news everyone.. angel care is almost complete! i’m back with another devlog & for this month, i focused on bug fixing, interaction assets along with more cg drafts. in celebration of almost being done, i'll share this placeholder i never used:

he was supposed to be in the talk section stuff, but considering i ended up not doing assets for it, he was just there. we'll never see him again, so say bye bye for now. here's to hoping we get more placeholders out of the way

Bug fixing (1 & 2)

I'm proud to say that... for this month, i've finished running through my 1st round of bug fixing along with cracking down on the 2nd stage of it. i thought it would take longer, but it only took me around 2 weeks to get them down. with that out of the way, i've focused on making the game look nicer aesthetically such as .. specific character interaction sprites & cgs

for the sake of my sanity, i bug tested with the bgm off, so i still have to import some music into scenes that i feel need them. cg work has been going smoothly . even if i decided that i'll change the style of them last minute. it worked out in the end, though, because i feel like the current style of the cgs fit the game more rather than my usual rendering style.

i still have to make some changes to the game because im self conscious, but i'm happy that i'm on this stage regarding AC . it's my child.

because i'm on my 2nd round regarding this aspect (and will probably repeat this loop in the near future because of course i will), it'll take longer to polish AC off.

as of writing this, i've taken care of the extra bugs that popped up in the early game and if i'm correct, i just have to code in the interaction sprites in the scenes that need them for the rest of the game, since the variables that were used in that portion got switched for mid-late game. i also have to code in some sound design aspects in the game, but that's all for this portion.

5/31/23 update: i'm now done with bugfixing in the mid-game area! i barely touched the late game portion, save for double checking if the variables lined up, so, yay! it got done pretty quickly.

New CG style

unfortunately, the preview i showed in my last devlog for one of the cg was scrapped in favor of a less time-consuming cg style. it's similar how i did the talk sprites & this month, i was coding them in the game even if they aren't technically "finished." it's fine, though, because i know it'll save me time in the future for doing that once i polish them. speaking of, here's the first cg you see in the game:

im pretty proud of it. definitely captured what i had in mind for the intro. overlay layers are amazing. right now, the pictures folder in the game have around 130+ files. very mildly interesting

i've been focusing on that aspect for the last two weeks of this month since round 1 of bug fixing got done relatively early. it's a bit tiring on the hands, but each of them take around 40 minutes of my time. the amount of cgs for this game isn't as crazy (over 20, i believe), but still.. doing a lot of them takes a toll on you.

(picture unrelated)

What now?

this month's devlog is pretty subpar because it's literally just "i'm killing off bugs", but sometimes, gamedevving is just like that. as i'm writing this, i've taken a bit of a backseat in terms of this game to take care of myself, but i'm hoping i could release it in the future.

i don't think i'll ever achieve the perfect state i could be satisfied with regarding this game, but that's my goal for now. . also i think that's the first instance i've been self-aware on my keenness to these things but maybe it's because i'm working in a new medium, so i'm a bit slow. perfectionism is a lot to work with.

next month, it's more CG making for me and after that... publishing. if i'm lucky i can get it done during june, but realistically, maybe i'll finish the CGs by july/

#angel care #gamedev #devlog #rpgmaker

[purelysymbiotic]

Purely Symbiotic Update!

Right now, I'm at 218K. This means I'm about 91% through the novel.

Three things:

I am behind word-count-wise due to catching COVID earlier this month AND writer's block. I am holding onto the motivation as much as I can to finish this. I WILL get this done and published.

I got laid off my real world job so I have time now to finish the story! Yay! Being unemployed is weird but hey, I'll be fine... surely.

I have been editing and proofreading whenever I've not been able to add additional content so I'm still working on the story, it just has not been adding additional content constantly.

It's been a weird month being laid off, starting HRT, and coming to the end of the story, but it WILL be done. Being done by Jan 31st may not be possible but I don't see myself not being able to finish the story until after the first week of February. I already have the beats in my head, I just need the time and energy to write it down.

Otherwise, I think one month may not be long enough for me to proofread and edit. I mean, this is 250k words. That's ALOT to proofread. I might need to proofread during February and March, but afterwards, I'll be able to publish! :3

#purely symbiotic #purelysymbiotic #writing update #writing process #writblr #writer's block #ps update

[spacetravelwriter]

Days 10-14 of the immersive Euskara learning challenge (10,11,12,13,14/14)

Kaixo guztioi!

21. video: numbers (cardinals, ordinals, fractions)

I've mastered the cardinals but I haven't yet used ordinals much and fractions at all, but numbers are something we all learn along the way anyway so I'm not stressed about going through ordinals and fractions.

22. video: declinating the numbers

This I haven't used much but it's not complicated.

P.S. there's a small bit of this lesson included in the first picture of the video 23

23. video: demonstratives (this, that, that over there)

Oh yay, I finally have the table of all demonstratives. I had been wondering about this since the vey beginning

In the meantime, there have been 3 more videos published in the playlist and the videos from 24-26 aren't included in this challenge. Later on I'll probably watch them too and when I do I will just make a separate post. But this is it for this challenge.

Thoughts:

For the past 5 months I've been studying from the book called "The Basque language: a practical introduction" by Alan R. King and even though that book is amazingly put together and everything is explained step by step with exercises, going through this playlist helped me massively. I always say that this language is more logical than hard, and by having gone through the playlist, it's much easier to connect things I've learned from there during the course of this book.

If your Spanish level is high enough, you definitely won't regret watching the playlist and using it the way I did. And I definitely recommend this channel "Oromen", as well as "Euskara Satorra" for learning Euskara, but both are with explanations in Spanish (though the creators know fluent English, so you can ask them in the comments)

I hope this benefits someone one day :) I know I had fun, so to all language enthusiasts that are interested in Euskara, I recommend you to do this challenge

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9 | Days 10-14

#langblr #languages #language learning #language #euskara #euskera #euskara langblr #basque #basque langblr #euskera langblr #euskara challenge #basque language #euskadi #euskal herria

[thecassadilla]

Fix You Up

Pairing: Kristanna

Word Count: 3,375/AO3

Summary: Winding up in the emergency room isn't fun, but it's certainly a bit easier to endure when there's a beautiful doctor taking care of you.

Author’s Note: This is called “I’ve been re-watching way too much Grey’s Anatomy and I decided to write a completely self-indulgent/kind of ethically wrong but it doesn’t really matter because it’s fiction” fic based off of it. I’m not a doctor/nurse/medical professional of any type so I apologize if I got something wrong. Enjoy!!!

The last thing that Kristoff Bjorgman needed was to wind up in the emergency room. He hadn’t intended for the knife to slip and slice his finger open. But going to the hospital, getting through triage, and waiting in a white, sterile room to see a doctor made him re-evaluate his initial thoughts.

The last thing he actually needed was a pretty, perky, red-headed doctor taking care of him. And yet, it was happening whether he liked it or not.

“Hi, Mr. B - ooh,” she laughed as she walked into his room, attempting to read his last name off of his chart. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, it’s just that they teach you how to pronounce words like ‘choledocholithiasis’ in medical school but they don’t teach us how to pronounce our patients’ last names.”

“Oh, it’s -”

“No, I think I got it. Bjorgman?” she raised an eyebrow. 

“Yup, that’s it,” he nodded, pursing his lips. She seemed way too young to be a doctor; her hair was tied up in a high ponytail that bounced when she moved, and combined with the scrubs and white coat she was wearing, she looked like she was supposed to be trick-or-treating instead of practicing medicine. 

“Alright, Mr. Bjorgman, I’m Dr. Anna Andersen. What brings you in today?” She walked over to the sink and began to vigorously wash her hands.

“Apparently, I need stitches.”

She turned off the water and dried her hands with a paper towel before walking over to his side. She glanced down at his outstretched hand, inspecting the laceration for a few seconds. “I would say that I agree with your diagnosis. You definitely need a few stitches.”

“Fantastic,” he groaned.

“I’m sorry, I know this probably isn’t fun,” she frowned, grabbing a pair of gloves from the dispenser and snapping them on. “But we’ll try to get you out of here as quickly as possible.”

“I appreciate that.”

She sat down on the chair and rolled over to the side of his bed, inspecting his wound more closely. “How did this happen?”

He hesitated, and contemplated lying to her; maybe because he was certain that she’d laugh at him or think he was stupid for cutting himself open while chopping vegetables. He decided to tell the truth anyway. “I was cooking and the knife slipped.”

“Okay, do you mind if I -?” She motioned to his finger, a sense of relief washing over him; there was not a laugh or even a lip twitch in sight. 

“Go ahead.”

She gently placed her fingers on the area surrounding the cut. “Does this hurt at all?”

“Just a little,” he grimaced.

“I’m sorry,” she said, scrunching up her nose. “But you can feel my fingers, yes?”

“I can.”

“Good.” She rotated his hand, surveying the damage from all angles. “Are you able to bend your finger?”

He demonstrated for her, despite the fact that it hurt every time he moved it.

“And how long ago did this happen?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think how long it had taken him to stop the bleeding and get in the car and fill out all the paperwork. “Like, two hours ago.”

“Okay, and are you allergic to any medications or anesthetics?”

“No,” he sighed.

“Sorry for all the questions, it’s procedure. Are you currently taking any medications?”

He shook his head.

“Alright, last one. Do you remember how long ago you had your last tetanus shot?”

“I don’t.”

She gently placed his hand back on the tray, then stood up, pulled the gloves off, and threw them in the trash. “Well, the good news is that the edges aren’t jagged and this should heal very nicely with a few stitches. The bad news is that you won’t be able to bend your finger for a few days.”

“Great.”

“Now, I’ll be right back, I’m just going to get the stuff I need to fix your finger and a tetanus booster and then we’ll get you out of here.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” he said in a low voice.

She smiled before ducking out of the room. Though he had yet to see her put her actual skills to the test, he was impressed by her bedside manner; she was actually quite adorable. Perhaps he had judged her too quickly. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said when she returned a few minutes later, setting down the materials she’d need on the tray next to his hand. “Ready to go?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

She walked over to the sink and washed her hands again before putting on another pair of clean gloves. She sat back down in the chair next to his bed and scooted in as close as she could.

“Now, before I start stitching you up, I’m going to give you a local anesthetic so you won’t feel any pain,” she explained, as she pulled a syringe from a plastic package. “Speaking from experience, this will sting a bit.”

“Experience?” he questioned, furrowing his eyebrows together. “Like from your personal experience or what other people have told you?”

She filled it up with liquid from a tiny clear vial. “Both.”

“Do you warn all of your patients that it will hurt?”

“Only the ones I like,” she winked. “I’ll have to poke you a few times, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded, and she began to anesthetize the area. She poked him once, and then again, and again. He gritted his teeth.

“Almost done, you’re doing great,” she said, noticing his discomfort. She poked him one last time. “Okay, the worst is over.”

She stood up and deposited the needle in the sharp materials box next to the bed before taking her seat once again. “In just a few minutes, you’ll be numb and I can start.”

“You weren’t kidding when you said that would sting,” he remarked.

“I also wasn’t kidding when I said I only warn the patients that I like,” she grinned. She had such a beautiful smile. “A lot of people come in here and try to undermine my medical experience. I don’t warn people who think they know it all.”

He immediately felt guilty for thinking she looked more prepared for Halloween than for being a doctor. “No offense, but you do look very young.”

“Because I am young. I’m twenty-six,” she confessed with a shrug.

“They let you be a doctor that young? Not just you, but people in general.”

“Oh, yeah,” she laughed. “Medical school is only four years, and you’re officially a doctor when you graduate. Then you do a residency, which is what I’m doing right now, and that can be up to seven years. I’m still in my first year.”

“I didn’t know that,” he said. “That’s a lot of learning.”

“They don’t really advertise how many years of training you have to go through,” she said, tapping on his finger. “Can you feel that?”

“No.”

“Wonderful, now it’s time to party,” she announced. “First, I’m going to clean your wound with some saline solution.”

Though his finger was numbed, he could feel the sensation of the liquid trickling down his palm. 

“And now, I’m going to put some antibacterial liquid on your skin,” she explained, doing so as she spoke. “And I have to drape it with a sheet before I suture it…”

She unpacked the blue paper from it’s plastic package, and unfolded it. Conveniently, there was a hole right in the center. 

“Here,” she said, holding it up. “Slip your finger right through here, and...perfect!!”

“Do you always narrate what you’re doing for your patients?” he asked in a sincere tone. It was a genuine question.

“Yeah, it usually makes them feel better, but we can talk about something else if you want. Or, if you’d prefer me to be quiet, I can do that, too.”

In any other situation, he would have preferred the quiet, but she had a very appealing voice. “No, you can keep talking.”

“Good, I like talking,” she remarked with a smirk. She was now holding what looked like a pair of scissors in one hand and a pair of tweezers in the other. “You ready?”

“Yup.”

She leaned over his hand, which obstructed his view. “So you may feel the needle going in and out, but it shouldn’t hurt. There, did you feel that?”

“No, not at all.”

“Good,” she said. “So, what do you do for work?”

“I’m an engineer,” he answered, shortly. He didn’t want to bore her with the details. 

“Is that a job where you use your hands a lot?”

“Yeah, it is.”

She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him, her bright, blue eyes nearly boring a hole into his own. “You’re either going to have to take a few days off from work or do something that doesn’t involve your hands, okay? Doctors’ orders. You shouldn’t bend your finger or do any heavy lifting until the stitches come out because you don’t want to accidentally rip it open.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. “Fine.”

She turned away again and resumed what she was doing. “Did you drive yourself here or did someone give you a ride?”

“I drove myself.”

“Now, I don’t advocate for reckless driving and I would strongly recommend that you call someone to pick you up. You won’t be able to bend your finger around the wheel.”

“I don’t really have anyone that I can call, but I’ll be fine.”

“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that.”

Though he couldn’t see what she was doing, he could see the concentration on her face. She was so close that he could practically count the freckles that were scattered across her nose and cheeks. “So, uh, why did you become a doctor?”

She chuckled. “That’s a bit of a loaded question, but it’s practically a family business. My parents were doctors, my sister’s a doctor. I’m just following in their footsteps.”

“That’s cool that you can say that you all have the same career.”

“I suppose,” she said, her voice twinged with uncertainty. He wasn’t sure how to interpret her tone, but before he could even think about asking what she meant, she placed her tools down on the tray. “And just like that, you’re all stitched up.”

“That was fast,” he remarked as she removed the drape from around his finger. He was able to see it for the first time and counted six tiny knots.

“It isn’t really a time-consuming process,” she shrugged. 

“Well, you did a really good job.”

“Thank you,” she blushed. “Now, I’m going to put some antibiotic ointment on it and then wrap it in gauze. You’ll have to keep it clean and dry for the first twenty-four hours. I’ll print you out some more detailed care instructions, but I’m going to recommend that you come back here in ten days to have them removed.”

“Gotcha.”

“Also, don’t rub any alcohol or hydrogen peroxide on it. And if you see any signs of infection - swelling, pus, increase in pain - you can come back or you can make an appointment with your primary care physician.”

“Understood.”

“I just have to give you the tetanus booster and then I’ll get your discharge papers. Sound good?”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

She prepared the vaccine, then stood up and ripped open an alcohol pad. She lifted up the sleeve of his shirt and cleaned off a small area. “This shouldn’t hurt at all,” she said, before injecting the liquid into his body. Seconds later, she was pulling it out, covering the tiny wound with a bandage, and dropping the needle into the sharps container.

“That was a walk in the park compared to the other one,” he chuckled.

“Easy peasy,” she smiled, gathering up all of the items that needed to be discarded. She walked over the garbage, and tossed it away before removing her gloves. “You stay put, okay?”

“Okay,” he answered, inspecting his finger as soon as she left the room. There wasn’t much to see, since the wound was covered by gauze.

“Alright, so this is a bag of stuff to take care of your finger - a few single-use packets of ointment, some gauze, and some tape. You’ll have to stop by a drug store to get enough ointment to last you for the entire ten days, though.” She handed him the small plastic bag.

He nodded. “Alright.”

She shuffled through the papers before handing him on. “Those are the wound care instructions. Please try to follow them as best as you can. When it’s time for the stitches to come out, you can come back here or go to your regular healthcare provider, it’s up to you. And last but not least, these are your discharge papers. We just need you to sign this page and then you’re a free man.”

She placed the papers and a pen on the tray and pushed it closer to him. He signed them without hesitating and she took them back once he was finished.

“Do you have any questions?”

“No, I think you covered everything.”

She smiled. “Alright, then you’re free to go. Take care of yourself, Mr. Bjorgman.”

“Kristoff,” he corrected, holding out his hand for her.

She accepted, and shook it, keeping her eyes locked on his and allowing her fingers to linger for just a second when she pulled her hand back. “Be well, okay?”

Though he was free from the confines of the hospital, he felt almost as if he’d left a piece of himself there. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, for some reason. Not on the drive home, not when he was cleaning up the massacre in his kitchen, and not when he finally crawled into his bed that night but found himself unable to sleep. She was a beautiful, compassionate doctor and he was the idiot who showed up in her emergency room with a gaping hole in his finger. Remnants of their conversation played over and over again in his head, and though he didn’t know her at all, he found himself creating scenarios in his head where they would have the opportunity to meet again. He kept having to remind himself that she was only being so nice because she was a doctor.

As luck would have it, he would find himself back in the emergency room just two days later, for a rather unfortunate reason. Doubled over in pain, he spotted her in the hallway talking to a colleague as he was wheeled toward his room by an orderly. He couldn’t help but notice her eyes following where he was going until he couldn’t see her anymore, and he fervently hoped that she’d be the one to treat him, again.

She walked into his room shortly after, looking quite concerned. “Hey, what are you doing back here? Infection?”

“No,” he breathed. “I’m having really bad abdominal pains.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve been nauseous and I haven’t been able to keep anything down, and I have a fever. And the pain is really bad. Do you think it could be appendicitis?”

“It could be, but they’ll have to run some tests on you to confirm,” she said, shoving her hands into the pocket of her coat.

“Are you the only doctor that works here?”

“It feels like that sometimes,” she remarked. “But I’m not your doctor today.”

His face fell. “You’re not?”

She shook her head. “I just saw you from the hallway and I wanted to see what was going on, make sure that you were okay.”

“I wish I could say that I was making this up just so I could see you again.”

“You know, you’re really handsome and I like looking at you, but I’d prefer if we didn’t keep meeting like this.”

Feeling bold, he decided to press on. “What if we met somewhere else? Like a grocery store or a bar?”

She cocked her head, a smirk plastered across her face. “It would be a miracle because I don’t have a social life and I survive on takeout. I can't say I wouldn't like that, though.”

He laughed, but it only caused his pain to intensify and thus, remind him of the seriousness of the situation. He exhaled a few times through his mouth before speaking again. “What will happen if it is appendicitis?”

She sighed. “You’ll have to have surgery.”

“Oh,” he frowned. “When it rains, it pours, huh?”

She gently squeezed his arm. “We’ll take really good care of you.”

His memory got a little foggy after that; he remembered his actual doctor coming in, the nurse putting in an I.V., someone coming in and drawing his blood, and an ultrasound machine being wheeled into his room. He concluded that they must’ve given him some painkillers after that, because the next thing he remembered was waking up after surgery, the doctor telling him that it went well, and then promptly falling back to sleep. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally woke up.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” a soft voice asked. Suddenly, Dr. Andersen was by his side; she looked quite concerned and she was wearing normal clothes, not her scrubs or white coat.

He cleared his throat. “I’m okay.”

“Your surgery went really well,” she assured him. “You came in at just the perfect time.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to make sure that you were okay before I left for the night,” she explained, gently resting her hand on his arm. “Is there anything that I could get for you? Anyone I can call?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Thank you, though.”

“You’re welcome.” She gave him a small smile. “Get some rest, alright?”

“Wait,” he called, just as she was about to walk through the door. She obliged, and turned around. “They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. I’ve never been to the emergency room in my entire life, and now I’ve been here twice in three days. That has to be some kind of coincidence, right?”

“Today was my last day on rotation for emergency medicine. I’m moving on to pediatrics.”

His eyebrows furrowed together. “Because of me?”

“No, not at all,” she assured him. “That’s just how being a first year resident works.”

“I don’t...” he trailed off.

“The reason I brought it up is because you were talking about coincidences,” she said, in a low voice.

Suddenly, it clicked. “That’s a pretty big one, huh?”

She nodded slowly. “I would say so.”

“So what does this mean?”

She walked back over to his bed, sat down on the edge of it, and dropped her bag on the floor. “I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t worried about you all day.”

No use in being anything but honest now. “I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been thinking about you since the other day.”

“I may have been thinking about you, too,” she smirked. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean I can ask you on a date?”

“You may,” she blushed. “But only after you recover from your surgery. Don’t forget that you’re supposed to spend the next couple of weeks recovering.”

“So I won’t be able to take you out for, like, three weeks?”

“Don’t forget that I work eighty hours a week, too,” she laughed. “But I’ll give you my phone number and you can text me as much as you want. I may not be able to answer right away, but I enjoy reading my messages on my breaks.”

“Deal,” he agreed and he recited his number to her, so she could text him and he could save it.

“You really should get some rest now, though,” she insisted, standing up and straightening his blankets. 

“You should really take your own advice.”

“I know, I know,” she rolled her eyes. She picked up her bag and slung the strap over her shoulder. “Have a good night, Kristoff.”

“You too...Anna,” he called. She beamed at him and as soon as she was out of sight, he found himself unable to control his own smile.

#kristanna #kristanna fanfic #anna #kristoff bjorgman #frozen #frozen fic #yay the first thing i've published in 3 months #lowkey kind of hate it but i hate everything i write #my writing

[undisaster]

todoroki shouto had never been touched before in a way that mattered.

not that he minded that much. he was just one of those people that didn't need to be touched. he was used to it.

or at least that’s what he thought. because if there’s one thing sero hanta is good at, it’s breaking down the walls he didn’t even know he had.

—

sero hanta has a massive crush on todoroki shouto.

that's okay, though. he knows it’s not reciprocated. he was, after all, used to being an understudy in every part of his life.

that is, until todoroki shouto proved him otherwise.

—

or; how sero and todoroki learn to hold each other in more ways than one.

yay, first ever fanfic! i've been working on this thing for over a month now and i'm super excited to finally be putting it somewhere for the world to see! i've never published any of my work online before (even though i've been writing poetry and short stories on + off for 5 years) so this is a pretty huge step for me. so show it some love if you have the time <3

#seroroki #serotodo #todosero #sero x todoroki #todoroki x sero #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha #todoroki shouto #sero hanta #shouto todoroki #hanta sero #rarepair fic #mha rarepairs #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

[festival-of-pudding]

First Fic Lines Game

I was tagged by @schiefergrau thx bb 😍

Rules: DON’T REBLOG THIS ONE, MAKE A NEW POST! List the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends.

10. Double Time As he flips the cap on the lube, Buck says: “How come we’ve never done it at the firehouse?”

9. (untitled) Buck’s eyes open, blinking in the dark. Why is he awake?

8. Mirror Mirror Over the sound of their boots crunching in the gravel, Buck whispered to Eddie: “Are you sure we’re in the right place?”

7. I Will Remember You At breakfast that morning Eddie asks the same question he’s asked every morning this month.

6. Boy Wonder Halloween, just before 6 pm: in a few minutes Firehouse 118 would open its doors to distribute candy, treats, and the requisite LAFD safety materials; but first, Bobby paced the bay in a last-minute inspection while Athena watched.

5. Tongue-Tied It was a routine call: broken arm from a fall off a storeroom ladder.

4. Blood, Milk, & Sky The third time their eyes meet, Buck knows he's not imagining things. That dude really is checking him out.

3. The Skip “On three — one, two, three!” Bobby, Chimney, and Hen heaved in unison: the hunk of wood groaned and lifted, and Eddie launched himself underneath it.

2. Descansar “What are you doing out here? Eddie said you were home with Christopher, what happened?”

1. Second Helping (aw, yay!) Since Rhett McLaughlin was 6 years, 10 months, 24 days, 4 hours, and 9 minutes old, he had only ever wished for one thing: to see his best friend Charles “Link” Neal, his childhood companion and the person he cared most about the entire world, truly and blissfully happy.

(I used to have a habit of always starting a fic with a single line of untagged dialogue, but I've been trying to change things up.)

Hmm, I've seen this meme going around so idk who has/n't been tagged. I tag everyone. How about folks with fewer than 10 fics? You deserve to participate too :)

#writingtag #meme

[crazytwentythrees]

GUESS WHO'S PLANNING ON A REVISED EDITION OF MY ANTHOLOGY, EVERY WHY HAS A WHEREOF?!?!?!?

That's right, I AM!! I am also definitely not unable to figure out how to keep writing BLS, but dw I do want to finish writing because the book means a lot to me personally (but also, like I said when I went on hiatus, I want to give you guys a good book, not a half-assed version of it).

AnYwAy, back to the poetry. Here's some basic info about the revised edition:

Will it be the same poems? Definitely, the main stuffing is all the same, only with a couple of extra poems (bonus, yay!!) and some shorter ones I don't like (like 2-3 of them) will be removed.

Can I read the deleted poems? Of course! An unedited version of my anthology is free for you to read here on Wattpad.

What's the difference between the original and the new version? In short, the main difference will be the reformatting and severe editing (with the knowledge I didn't have when I first published it). Also, I'd like to make the book a little smaller. I'm not sure if many of you are aware of this, but Amazon's self-publishing platform only offers certain standard sizes for books, and well, my 6"x9" book is probably the smallest I can go. That being said, I am considering reaching out to Amazon Publishing and some other publishers to see if they can help with this "downsizing" of sorts. Realistically, I know printing a smaller book has a 50/50 chance of happening, but it's definitely something I'd like for the revised edition.

When will the revised edition be published? This depends on the "downsizing". I hope to get the edits done in the next month or so, but a good part of the reformatting process is dependent on whether or not I get to make the book a smaller size. If not, then you'll have a semi-brand-new 6"x9" poetry anthology for you to cart around and annotate to your heart's content!

Will it look the same? For now, I intend to keep the cover the same, BUT if I work out something I like (since I design my own covers), then I will definitely consider changing the cover. The font will be different for sure, same as a whole lot of other formattings in the original version (reformatting, yay!!). Another thing I've been brainstorming is GRAPHICS!!! If you've read the first few chapters of BLS on Wattpad, you'll know about the banners I made for POV changes. I want to try some stuff like that for sure, so you'll definitely be seeing some cool changes ;)

Why are you republishing/publishing a revised edition? Ooooh boy. So the story is, when I put together all these poems and published them with Amazon KDP (which is a self-publishing platform), I had very very very little experience with the writing world, much less the editing and publishing world. The anthology was sent in as a submission for Amazon's Pen to Publish program, which is how I found out I could self-publish in the first place. But the main thing is, I put together the entire thing, formatting and all (minus writing a majority of the poems, which I'd done in the few months before), in about a month. Long story short, it was the definition of a rush job. So now I'm nearly three years older, a little wiser (I hope), and I want to put in the time and work that I know my 13-year-old self deserved when she first started writing, and the knowledge that my 14-year-old self didn't have when she self-published.

I think that's about it, but if any of you have anything else to ask, my inbox is definitely open. I hope you'll all love this new edition (once I get it out for you to read) and I'd absolutely love it if you have any extra feedback from the original!!

#writing #my writing #poems #poetry #anthology #every why has a whereof #ewhaw #crazytwentythrees #writers on tumblr #writeblr #books on wattpad #wattpad books #love #tumblr #books #tbr #booklist #bookboost #bookpromotion #reading #readersofinstagram #ebooks #bookworm #books & libraries #original poetry #poets on tumblr #poet #poetsandwriters #poets corner #my poem

[shapeofbones]

02/04/22

so i've decided to start a stress free blog for thoughts, rants, projects, updates etc.

i've tried to start a blog for a long time but i've never succeeded bc i either made it so formal to the point where it was like writing personal essays, or i just ghosted it.

anyways i'm a high school junior and i'm pretty busy so this might become a monthly thing. i'm quite disorganized so i have thoughts scribbled all over the place (notion, notebooks, docs, discord) and i'm just adding to that collection.

but this is a stress-free environment so...!!

updates for 2022 so far

january 9-15: attended youngarts week! so phenomenal and i've talked a lot about this elsewhere so i'm not gonna ramble again. but definitely such a valuable community and place to grow. thank you nicole for giving me so much inspiration. <3 yay poetry i guess?!?! always thinking about wildness and radical suggestions too. ngl i felt intimidated by everyone's energy as an introvert but i met ppl who would randomly text me about kdramas and game pigeon so I LOVE UUU! started a skincare routine too, discreetly.

mid jan: caught up with school work mostly, spent lots of time studying for compsci... i need an A in that class... but i oddly have lots of free time to watch kdramas and play games? i've developed an unusual (but not suprising) addiction to candy crush and this water filtering game.

late jan: went to the cardiologist and luckily my heart isn't too bad but my blood cholesterol levels are abnormally high. gonna cry. watched true beauty like 3 more times and i fall in love with eunwoo every single time, smiling like a crazed gal. astro's songs are actually really good and i've been obsessed with eVeRy song for this entire month.

early feb: still not very busy, and that gives me chills because i feel like i should be dying at this point. told mr v that ap lang was the easiest (least time consuming) english class so far and he was shocked. finished our beloeved summer and started all of us are dead. i thought i'd hate zombie movies (first one and counting!) but i actually really like this one. i am trying to eat less sugar and it worked until today (feb 4) when i ate 6 girl scout cookies. birthday coming soon! means i'm 18 and will get a paypal account.

writing news so far: lynne thompson called! i'm working on publishing my chapbook manuscript and miye's doing the cover art yay!!! also wrote 2 poems, one's a ghazal. talking about brokenness and form with nicole. ran lumiere's contest and received 1500+ pieces. also wrote half of a flash fiction piece. did an interview about writing and youngarts with elyse! i also started thinking about future collection ideas (apologies, motion, abundance), and i'm really fascinated by the intersection between antithetical things (abundance vs. absence, endings vs. beginnings, loss vs. reunion, motion vs. static, wholness vs. brokenness) and how they complement each other more than repel.

random thoughts: gotta start studying for aps sometime soon // still thinking about crying in h mart, and crying // i should watch train to busan soon // my parents and sis are so obnoxiously noisy i can't bear it anymore... gives me chest pain // starting to like mitski more! // why am i so bad at reading? // eunwoo is so sexy and his voice/face is calming. calm polar bear vibes. // i feel like i'm gender fluid... really contemplating this these days.

looking forward:

i want to write a collection of poems as a personal project. not for publication though.

i want to go exploring around LA, especially korean-american imprints in this city like koreatown. wanna go out with some friends, old and new. like my band friends and maybe multi friends. learn and experience culture!

i wanna live a youtuber lifestyle (think minimalism, vegetarian, fashion revamping, makeup) but i think i'll save this till end of college apps next year.

gotta really make an ap study plan. there's 3 months left.

i'm getting $3,000 from youngarts and i want to use that well. really wanna travel but i don't think that's possible with covid. i'd buy lots of fashion items but also it seems like a waste.

[carcinized]

re: your post abt wanting to write again - you could probably just do small pantheon au oneshots if you wanted? worldbuilding/character building things, or just little character interactions. thats probably one of my favorite things abt fanfiction, you can kind of take any little moment or thing and turn it into a story and have people fall in love with it just as much as you have. yknow? and i know im Incredibly invested in your au and considering im far from the only person who's asked about it or interacted with posts abt it, i bet itd be well-received

re: your dissociation/derealization/depersonalization posts - i dont think itd be weird to make a separate blog abt it if you wanted to? and id definitely be interested in learning from you, it's a topic i want to learn more about but, like with most things, i get overwhelmed bc i dont know where to start and then i never research it :') or the internet is unreliable, i was researching autism a little while ago and found some contradicting things that honestly just confused me more

also do you know the song 888 by Cavetown? it has just kinda been Me for the past month or two and i really like it :) it makes me want to learn how to animate (and draw better lol)

oh my goodness i am just. constantly writing essays in your askbox and i dont usually realize it until i go to proofread and have this moment of "oh yikes i am Not rereading all that" ahah . hope your day was good, or at least bearable <33

re: re: wanting to write i could i could i could i could... maybe i will !!! i have two big like Epic Stories planned out for the au that would kind of like. establish a better understanding besides just reading lengthy descriptive posts that i kinda wanted to write first but im also lazy and dont want to write them. also i dont want to write the wilbur one at all becuase that's such a long story it could be a fic of its own and we all know i've only ever written two full fics in my life and both were when i was 12-13. actually thats not true i wrote more when i was 8-10 but never published them. but dude i dont DO full fics 😭 maybe i could condense it,,,, idk dude. but yeah i have at least one i could write out that wouldjn't be too lenghty? but it would really just Make More Sense with the bee duo myth written first. IDK KJDSFKLJDS thank you for the encouragement though <3 hopefully soon i will do this ahahha

yeah!! i might but also thatd be a lottttttttt of talking about it ive realised. might just slowly work on the info post post it, and let people ask me questions here lmao. if i get op is a dream stan ed then theyre in the wrong not me becuase thats literally a hella important post??? but. yeah

i know OF it but ive never actually listened, so i will do that now :] ooooh the guitar is pretty :OOO

nope i dont mind!!! i see them and i go ooh!!! a stardust ask :DDDD yay!!! and my day was nice, i hope yours was as well!

#ask #stardust !

[yeoldontknow]

Hi Kat, I was wondering if you have advice for writers who are too scared to publish their work online. I have many snippets and stories that I've written but never posted. I love the idea of having a tumblr or blog where I could share my writing, but I'm constantly struggling with imposter syndrome, feelings of not being good enough, and fears of being criticized by others. Thank you very much!

hi anon

please keep in mind that these are the things that helped me - wayyyy back over a decade ago when i first started writing fanfic and posting it online. what worked for me might not work for you, but as someone who also suffers from imposter syndrome in nearly every facet of my life, this is what helped and continues to help.

the important thing to focus on is that desire to share. the very fact that youve come here and said ‘i want to do this but im scared’ leads me to believe that your want to have a blog where you can share writing is already outweighing the fear of reception. and the most important thing you could do is not lose sight of that desire. you cannot control how people will respond to your writing, and i know that at first its very scary. the very extension of wanting to share is wanting to have a conversation around your work - not to receive endless criticism. so while you cannot control the response, you can control your reaction to the response. 

this also brings up a very important discourse - the line between helpful and unhelpful criticism. criticism is not something to fear, lovely. it helps us grow. to be wrong or to receive criticism is a moment of humility and change, and it evolves with us. when criticism is helpful, it allows us to see room for improvement, for growth. we can advance through the criticism, especially when its offered by a friend or someone we trust. i often recommend new writers show their work to friends they trust to get a third party opinion - someone with a face before they offer it to strangers whose comments we fear the most. helpful feedback and criticism is what allows our writing to flourish - and because you mention imposter syndrome, i imagine youre already very critical of your own work. that criticism is what makes you edit and edit again, wanting it to be the best you can create. thats important. unhelpful criticism, on the other hand, is something every single writer on this platform has experienced and survived. while most of the comments ive seen on fics throughout my years have been wonderfully positive, there are still some that will hurt.

and thats a very important thing we as creators and artists must always accept - not everyone will love your work and you will, at some point, get hurt. but you will also survive. 

and i can assure you, almost every writer i have met experiences imposter syndrome at some point. as a reader, we see the final product, the fic that makes us feel something, that entertained us, that brought us joy. and we see the response the writer receives, the comments and the asks, and we think ‘wow, it must be easy for them.’ but honestly, it isnt. we dont get to see the weeks, the months, the hours, maybe even the years it took to write that story or that chapter. the worry of ‘is this good enough’ ‘is this right’ ‘am i still putting out the same quality this story deserves.’ i can speak from experience that the overwhelming response for hero ALWAYS makes my next chapter harder to write because i dont want to let anyone down. the fear of disappointing the readership is real and very often makes me feel like im not good enough for the story anymore. we fill this way because we are human and more than anything, this is is what we must remember:

a story cannot be better than us because it is ours. we created it. we found it in our minds. we gave birth to it. so by extension its a part of us. not everyone will love it, but no one else will have this unique idea or be able to tell this story the way you can. your perspective changes the trope, the character, the feelings. the sea of authorship is never full, because there is still room for your voice. and if you are scared of posting online, hold onto the feeling that made you reach out to ask for help. you asked because you want it. and the want will always outweigh the fear

i hope this encourages you anon! the community IS majority positive and friendly, and im sure if you want to write it someone is wanting to read it.

#the cutest anons! #writing advice #Anonymous