#why is it never getting better

[thoughtfulstudentsalad]

Callback

Chapter 75 

Chapter 242 

There are so many many callbacks to other chapters in this one.

#akatsuki no yona #hak #whyyyyy #why is it never getting better #soohak #is this the end? #of them??? #is this way of hak coping with his trauma #forgetting it all....? #goodness

[zosanbrainrot]

zosantober day 12 - spicy

mandatory supplies stop

#this was my first thought #then I thought maybe I should just draw them making out #but Im posting these on ig as well and uhh idk #tumblr makes it so much easier to get through to fandom people ig is just shouting into the void but also irl people are there #ANYWAY #compo could be better but I think I made it work #also why did inktober spell it spicey with an E inside #is there sth I dont know I tried googling but it just says its an alt spelling #never seen that before #zosantober #one piece #sanji #zoro #zosan #inktober #inktober 2023 #my art #one piece fanart

[inkskinned]

there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

#wish this was better written!!! but im sleepy!! #writeblr #pride #lgbt #but for real please help me make these lesbian wings. gonna get the supplies tomorrow . i have #no sewing machine but know how to hand sew #have never done a good job with tie dye so idk why im just runnin with it #ps im specifically going to boston pride next weekend come hang out with me

[lilybug-02]

Wow. That could not have turned out worse.

Part 23 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/

#Chara finally realizes something is wrong....very wrong #And you get to see little Chara for all of 2 drawings. wow. You guys are so spoiled uwu #Asriel and Chara bbfs #finally out of that darn tootin' Darkworld! WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR 2 YEARS!!! #LORE TIME LORE TIME. I know Chara is very vague about it but player-human relationships are very personal. #it can be hard to talk about them if you've been possessed yourself. especially with some stigmas around it #chara just wanted a glass of water. why you gotta do this to em #I am so so so happy to get here #the full excitement has faded since I first thought up this scene but It's still one hell of an accomplishment #YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA how many times I reworked this and how many rough drafts I've thrown out the window because of it. #tbh. I may post the 10+ rough pages that will never see the light of day #Im glad I didnt go through with that scrapped plot bc It was too many unneeded pages. I've learned to start condensing in a better way #I am also planning on showing off my Patreon soon :) so I'll be posting complete scrapped story lines over there #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune #utdr #deltarune chara timeline comic #art #my art #bread #chara #asriel #saloon darkworld #darkworld #deltarune au #college chara #college asriel

[idkaguyorsomething]

the convoluted doctor who lore gets extra funny when you realize that, at two separate points in the past, two different companions to two different doctors ended up running into rasputin but both came to the conclusion that he was a pretty nice and normal guy. which, depending on how you interpret the power of the doctor, is either a nice subversion of a lot of tropes of stories used in pre-soviet russia, or side-splittingly hilarious as you start imagining the master getting roped into various adventures with different versions of the doctor that he can’t fuck with yet or else he’ll destroy the timeline, forcing him to play nice with the humans as part of his 4D Time Chess Master Disguise Plan #3852

#doctor who #rasputin #in case you’re wondering the companions were #ian chesterton #liz shaw #and #jo grant #who kept explicitly making references to the master throughout the story #but wait it gets better #at one point it was proposed to make a story with this one time lord called the meddling monk #who just decides to start fucking around with the timeline and forces rasputin to listen to boney m #but apparently this actually drives rasputin to the brink on insanity and destroys the entire timeline #forcing the monk to regenerate into rasputin to take his place and live out his life #and that’s why he decided to go by the monk #it was never technically canonized but could you imagine the mindfuck #you have a time lord impersonating another time lord impersonating a normal guy who may or may not have actually existed in the whoniverse #who even knows at this point #the untempered schism didn’t drive the master mad it was a funky disco beat #grigori rasputin #dhawan!master

[bu99erfly]

JOY CHILL KILL TRAILER MAKING, 2023

#red velvet #joy #redvelvetinc #femaleidolsedit #femaleidol #kgoddesses #dailywoc #kpopedit #rv #99 #09 #gifs #rvedit #ive said this 100 of times but fuck whoever edits rv content #the coloring is ugly and to pale; and its never the best quality like why? #get a better camera and editor

[renjunnipeikko]

dunno if this has been done yet but: airplane didn’t first become aware of peerless cucumber in the comments of pidw, he first saw peerless in the comments of a different web novel (that perhaps was one of airplane’s earlier works?) and so when initially drafting pidw he was inspired to write a villain just like cucumber bc “he’s MEAN MEAN for no reason, a literature snob, and pretends to be all high and mighty while looking down on others. also likes to kick down the little guy” and boom. sqq was born. cut to years later post-transmigration when sqh just casually drops this info with “lol i always did find it funny how much you hated the guy considering he’s literally based off you”

#and in the classic fashion of sqq AND og!sqq— this sends sy into a fit of rage #i mean… c’mon those freak outs sqq has with sqh aka the only time he ever breaks character are SO shen jiu coded no? #anyway the actually background of sj is developed later ofc to flesh his character out better and is unrelated to the og inspiration #but as we know that never ends up getting used in pidw so it didn’t matter rip #so this simultaneously makes sy and sj the same person but also NOT the same person #so in terms of bingmei vs bingge extra: why did you get the shizun you did bingge? #maybe… you weren’t a real person until the very moment you crossed over? #which means sqq wasn’t either :( sorry Buddy #idk just a hc but it IS really interesting to think about #svsss #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #scumbag system #scumbag self saving system #scumbag villain #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #shen jiu #og shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #airplane shooting towards the sky #peerless cucumber #pidw luo binghe #luo bingge

[cradle-of-darkness]

guess who watched epithet erased........ 😢

#epithet erased #sylvie ashling #sylvester ashling #mera salamin #giovanni potage #molly blyndeff #♦️charlie's art #sylvie is my favorite if u couldn't already tell from how much i drew him..... but ugh all thr characters are so fun and loveable #i literally love EVERYONE except for like molly's dad 😒 #also mutuals from discord i have touched up some of these so if they look a little different from when i sent them. thats why #ugh disappointed in myself for not getting into this show sooner it's so good and its right up my alley 🙄 better late then never ig

[ind1c0lite]

SO HEED THE STARS, THEIR LIGHT WILL LEAVE US IN THE DARK

#ace attorney #aa5 #ace attorney dual destinies #athena cykes #simon blackquill #aa the phantom #metis cykes #eye strain #ask to tag #indys art #had to crunch this one to get it under the file limit :( #whATEVER it still looks fine im not mad <- lying #N e ways Ive been wanting to do something like this for a WHILE now #like #ever since I finished watching dd length of time #not sure why Im just now getting around to it but! better late than never #anyways enjoy! <3 #lots of athena lately huh

[writeouswriter]

I love how ominous such basic names like "The Organization" or "The Institute" or "The Initiative" or "The Facility" or etc. are when placed in like a shady sci-fi context, like there's no reason for them to sound that suspicious, but without elaboration, it's like here is a place where they are doing things™ and I am like ooohh, because the blank state, the refusal to give you any more detail makes you think they're hiding something on purpose and leaves the darkest corner of the imagination left to fill in the rest.

#writing #writeblr #names #i want to give my shady research facilities in my stories actual names but some part of me is like #you'll never get the level of unease you get from just naming it the institute rather than the x institute or something #sci-fi #other genres i guess too but usually sci-fi #the barn in haven why is that the scariest sounding thing ever like? #you just know that thing ain't a barn #it is a barn physically outside but oh the creep factor that name gives i can't explain #the shop in firestarter? like f*ck it conjures up images of a workshop and saws building and tearing apart people for some reason #the initiative in buffy it's so nondescript and unassuming just like its soldiers living among the campus and the military power they hold #etc etc etc you know #mayhaps i am not creative enough to come up with better names also mayhaps

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

#tgcf #human gripes at fandom #anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer #i just absolutely hate it #why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭 #especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships? #mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it #and she didn’t even give that character a name! #simply embarrassing #i could have also talked about jgy here #but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone) #so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others #but anyways #mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su #or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros #you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity? #at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright? #(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke) #i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it #that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan #the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice

[featherymainffins]

I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes

#dead by daylight #dbd #dbd unknown #dbd the unknown #pls pls pls you can trust me to be normal about that i am completely normal about that i am so normal about these themes #and their direct opposite i am normal and can be trusted with anything that's either like Th//e La//st Uni//corn or its direct opposite #like no. no i have to remember that bhvr have no idea what they're doing. i must not get sucked in. i must remember better games... unless #like no you have no idea what id give for this to be intended like aaaaugh i am unimaginably insane about the inhuman desperately #trying to be human in any way it can and the world continually rejecting those efforts #just like i am incredibly abnormal about humanity as a horror for the inhuman and the active rejection of humanity by something #that is; despite its best efforts and thw verdict of its biology; human. haha humanity as a horror you are forced to be and #perhaps always were but never had the chance to realise it. anyway. i digressed. #also the actual reason why Oh Gross (aka The Unknown) looks like that is because the lore states that some people thought #it was just a typical serial killer and gross is just a cumulation of everything everyone has ever thought about it #(god thats depressing) #so yeah. sorry no themes of humanity here i think. though id kill for them.

[spineless-lobster]

WHY AREN’T WE HAVING SPACE SEX?!

#IM BEING DEAD SERIOUS #THOSE ASTRONAUTS BETTER BE BUTT FUCKING FREAKNASTY STYLE #GUYS WE AS HUMANS HAVE ACHIEVED SO MUCH WHY AREN’T WE FUCKING IN SPACE???? #IMAGINE FUCKING ON THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!! #(that would probably be impossible but the thought is cool) #I never want to have sex but if I had the chance to fuck in space I WOULD TAKE IT!!!!!!! #nasa fucking get on this already #space #astronauts #nasa

[oceanwithouthermoon]

kaido and nendo casually watching saiki freak out over his crush and barely reacting or caring about why is so funny to me

#now the question is why do they barely react #as far as we know they never see him like this lmfao #theory hes just a fucking liar and does stupid shit like this all the time and just doesnt show us (/joking) #i'll never get over this nonreaction #more likely reason is just because nobody can fucking decipher his emotions LMAO #thats partly canon for their other classmates (that hes the quiet kid who nobody can tell what hes thinking) #so it makes sense that even his friends would be like ok idk i dont get it #i think later in the manga when they know him a bit better his friends can decipher his emotions a little better #so theyd probably react a little more lol #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #nendo riki #kaido shun #meows post

[andy-clutterbuck]

Domestic™

#I LOVE DOMESTIC #Rick Grimes #Michonne #Judith Grimes #Carl Grimes #* #rg #i never thought there was enough of it and making this just reinforced that belief........ #like why #S O F T #look at him makin a bed on the floor #also #Sugarbutt 🍑💖 #i decided to make this because of the drinking coffee by the fire #i could have just had episodes of this #.....it would have been a lot better than most of that crap #BIG SOFT DILF ENERGY #look the mayor of DILF city #bout to make like that time i played Life and had so many kids i had to get an extra car

[naofaun]

It's normal to feel jealous. In friendships, relationships, whatever. Jealousy is a very normal, very human emotion and most likely, it's telling you that a need of yours isn't being met. But sometimes jealousy just shows up randomly and makes itself known for no reason. Maybe you have the happiest relationship possible and you still get jealous. Maybe all of your needs, and more, are being met. That's okay.

Never be ashamed of jealousy. Never be ashamed of anger or sadness or fear. These emotions are not “bad”, there is no such thing as bad emotions. You cannot be completely free of them, and they do not inherently mean you or the other person(s) is abusive.

Listen to what your mind is telling you. If you're jealous every single time your friend hangs out with someone that's not you; why? Are you scared of your friend liking the person more than you? Are you scared that you're not worthy of your friend's time and energy? Are you scared that maybe the other person secretly hates you and plans to turn your friend against you?

Whatever it is, its okay. Don't listen to people telling you that “non-abusers don't get jealous”. Because they do. It's just about how they handle the jealousy. If you listen to your body and figure out the underlying fear or insecurity, you're already doing way more than most.

Sometimes you can talk to your friend about that fear. Sometimes you can explain to them that you feel afraid when they hang out with other people because you're insecure. Do not ever make it out to be their problem, like something they should fix. They can understand and do their best to help you, but do not ever demand or even let them drop these friends for you. Unless the friends are genuinely awful people (which you should then have an entirely different conversation about), it is your friend's right to keep them as friends.

But maybe you can come to a compromise. Maybe when your friend is done hanging out with someone, they can tell you about what they did. Maybe instead of an obligation, its like a “oh my god I had so much fun and I want to tell someone about it” thing. They get to talk about how much fun they had to someone that cares, and you get to know that these other people didn't try to turn your friend against you, or whatever your fear may have been.

Anyway, my overall point is; jealousy is okay and normal. It usually covers some sort of insecurity or fear, like how anger can cover sadness or hurt. It doesn't matter how often you feel jealous - I'm a very very jealous person but I have coping mechanisms and ways to help me when I get jealous so that I don't hurt the person I'm jealous of. I will always suggest mental health assistance like therapy or medication if it's available, but sometimes, its more about the way you treat your feelings and the communication you have with your friends.

#obviously everyone is different #journaling my feelings and telling myself that my friends are so awesome that they deserve other friends #will not help every single person that gets jealous #but as a polyamorous person who has bpd and forms fps on my partners most often #ive learned how to cope with my jealousy without becoming overbearing and mean #it took me nearly my entire teenage life and im still nowhere near perfection #this isnt an instant process and im never going to stop feeling jealous #but i can recognize when im jealous and why and i can work on feeling better about it #{ ♡ } nao : misc . . . #jealousy #jealous #relationships #relationship troubles #bpd #borderline personality disorder #npd #narcassistic personality disorder #i dont know how common jealousy is in npd but it sure affects me a lot so #umm #mental illness #mental health #mental health advice #mental health support #bpd help #bpd support