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tossawary · 3 years

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Chapter 26 “ What You Want” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.

Oh, this got so long, though. I was like, “An opportunity to wax poetic about Moshang dynamics and characterization? An opportunity to talk about why my interpretations of Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua are Like That? SIGN ME UP.”

【Beginning next mission stage.】

【Death of the Author - Part 2: The Secret Basement of Shang Qinghua.】

【Mission objective: place the Weeper’s Eye on the pedestal.】

Shang Qinghua slowly sits up on his sofa. He stares at the pop-up window for however long it takes his brain to roll over completely.

“I don’t have a fucking basement?” he says finally.

AN: I have been waiting to use “I don’t have a fucking basement?” for months. Also, it’s been years for him, so Shang Qinghua is a little oblivious, BUT I would like to point readers all the way back to some paragraphs from Chapter 2.

Excerpt from Chapter 2: “A Horseshoe Nail”:

Shang Qinghua considers the point loss. What are his excuses character motivations here? Why is his unmerciful System not completely skewering him for this?

He is the servant of a demon lord, Mobei-Jun, the future Northern King, so he has a greater investment than most cultivators in the future of the Demon Realm, so it’s not unreasonable for him to seek out any bastards of Tianlang-Jun without handing the demon baby over to a righteous sect. He’s also a Peak Lord of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, so it’s not unreasonable for him to be interested in any rumors of the whereabouts of Su Xiyan or what happened to her, for political leverage or whatever. The character of Shang Qinghua originally was and still is a spy - on top of being a shameless coward willing to cling to anyone’s thighs and then stab them in the back, in order to stay alive or advance himself.

There are plenty of magical artifacts in this world that might give a power-grubbing weakling like Shang Qinghua an insight into the future. As Peak Lord of An Ding, Shang Qinghua is, in fact, in a pretty good place to get his greedy hands on one of these magical artifacts. Isn’t that what a good spy and overall ambitious snake would do?

Especially a spy serving a demon lord extremely likely to get fed up with him and kill him at some point? While also serving a righteous cultivation sect extremely likely to execute him for eventually betraying them? Of course Shang Qinghua would obviously want to know how to save his own ass from these ticking time-bombs! And how better to save his own ass than shamelessly clinging to the golden thighs of the protagonist, who will one day conquer every other demon lord and all righteous sects?

Following Luo Binghe means being on the endgame winning team!

Shang Qinghua looks over the pop-up window’s numbers over again, in regards to the loss of points. True, how exactly he tracked down Su Xiyan’s half-demon baby when the Huan Hua Palace Master failed is a bit of a plot-hole, but the rest can be easily explained away with a bit of creativity!

Oh, the rest of the cultivation world didn’t know Su Xiyan was pregnant? Well, Shang Qinghua is a slimy, sneaky spy, who would of course guess that a female cultivator might suddenly disappear like that for months-on-end due to a secret pregnancy! And given that Su Xiyan’s reputation had been linked to a passionately self-destructive Tianlang-Jun… Okay, he can feel the anti-fan rage at that mildly sexist line of thinking, but it stands! It stands!

Now, Shang Qinghua just has to… actually decide… whether or not he wants to take the point loss, in order to save the life of his protagonist son’s adoptive mother, Luo Jiahui.

Shang Qinghua, my darling fool of an Author God, your System is listening to the things you say and think.

I have been WORKING here to foreshadow where I’m going with this story. I’m pretty sure that every single endgame plot point has shown up and is now in play in PINTWILF. Shang Qinghua, due to situational awareness, is dealing with too much in-world shit to narrow things down easily, but it’s all there! It will hopefully not seem as though I’m pulling things out of nowhere in the next and final part (Part 4) of this fic.

“This makes me look crazy, bro,” Shang Qinghua complains to the System. “It really does. I already have to be careful about talking to the secret, world-controlling system that lives in my head and this? This is not making me look any more stable! Where did this come from? Where the fuck did I even get it?! ”

Oh, things are coming together in Shang Qinghua’s head and he doesn’t know if he really likes the picture. On one hand, it’s always nice to actually have someone or something to blame for things beyond the fucking System. On the other hand, he really doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to sleep at night with a full-length, polished silver mirror with an ornate golden frame under his house.

AN: Shang Qinghua, have you noticed that you’ve stopped losing points for continuity errors and plot holes? Shang Qinghua, you know that the people in your life have noticed that you know too much. They’ve just decided not to question you about it because you always look like you’re going to faint when they do, then you laugh and change the subject.

But now Shen Qingqiu is on to you and he’s not so easy to shake.

(Plus Shen Yuan! They’re terriers, SQH!)

He turns away from the mirror, only for a second System window to pop up in front of him. Only… the design of this one is different. Familiar, though! It takes Shang Qinghua a second to place it as Peerless Cucumber- as Shen Yuan’s Transmigration System.

【 Users cannot be injured, killed, or trapped inside the looking-glass! The user will not be able to touch or be touched by anything inside the looking-glass! The user will be returned from the looking-glass within thirty minutes, unharmed! A substantial point reward is attached to this bonus mission. 】

“Right,” Shang Qinghua says.

This second pop-up window then shifts colors and is ruthlessly closed before his eyes. Ah, wow, Shang Qinghua kind of feels like he just saw someone get murdered here.

“...How many points?” he asks finally, reluctantly curious.

AN: Having the Systems fight is so much fun. My setup here in PINTWILF has it so that there’s a main Worldbuilding System that does its best to maintain the world, then each transmigrator has their own personal Transmigration System managing their case.

This is so the Worldbuilding System can maintain the world without the presence of transmigrators, and so the personal Systems can potentially follow their transmigrators into another world. All the Systems interact with each other in order to try to manage things and there are... issues.

Look, the thing about simulated (or managed) realities for me is... someone coded the thing (or did some equivalent of coding the thing), and whether or not this thing in question is the world or just the System, if there are multiple entities trying to manage things, there’s going to be fuck-ups. You can’t have two cooks in the kitchen without points where the two cooks get in each other’s way at least a little bit. If there are multiple Systems, then you’re going to have friction, and that friction can be funny.

Inspired by me trying to run two heavy art programs on my computer at once and being like, “Oh, boy, please don’t burst into flames while duking it out in there. Oh, man, you two were NOT made to operate together, huh?”

He knows he’s right when he walks away from some kind of important-looking procession, stepping into the next room at the same time as someone else, who looks directly at him and doesn’t look away. Shang Qinghua freezes in the doorway and doesn’t let himself stare so much as he can’t stop himself.

“Oh, no,” Shang Qinghua thinks.

There’s a man standing in front of him, tall and broad-shouldered, with an ageless youth, but a sharp gaze and no youthful roundness to his features. His curly black hair has been cursorily held back from his face by a golden ornament, but is otherwise loose, and he wears his ornate red and black robes well and correctly, but like a man with a hundred more.

The man flicks a strong hand at the doors behind Shang Qinghua, which slam shut with a bang, like he’s done this a thousand times before.

He smiles unkindly. “Shang-Shishu,” he says, like he’s tasting the title, considering tearing it apart with his teeth. “So it's true. How curious.”

There’s no way for Shang Qinghua to count how many times he’s seen this face before, but he’s never seen it like this. The man looks like an emperor. He looks like a god. The red mark of the Heavenly Demons burns like a crown in the middle of his forehead.

Shang Qinghua takes an unwilling step back.

“What are you afraid of?” the original Luo Binghe says, still smiling. “We’re only talking.”

AN: I tried to make this meeting mirror Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe’s first scene in Part 3 of the fic, in which we finally meet the Luo Binghe (Shang Qinghua��s nephew) who is going to interact with the PIDW plot.

Excerpt from Chapter 18: “The Inevitable Plot”:

The restaurant is closed when Shang Qinghua lets himself in. The tables in the dining room are still packed up, lit by dim light through shuttered windows, and the only sign of another person are the chopping sounds coming from the brightness of the kitchen. Shang Qinghua stops in the doorway and lets himself stare.

There’s a young teenage boy standing at the counter, thirteen going on fourteen, still not yet near his adult height (taller than Shang Qinghua, a fact he's still not prepared to face), still carrying a youthful roundness to his features. Shang Qinghua has seen him like this a hundred times before: curly black hair tied back, a kerchief covering his head to keep it out of his eyes, a slightly yellowed matching apron neatly tied just the way his mother taught him, and intent on the work in front of him. His hands are quick, the knife sharp and sure, and the movements of food preparation work slide right into each other like he’s done this a thousand times before.

When did the boy get so big? It didn’t happen all at once; it snuck up on them, hiding dastardly in plain sight! Shang Qinghua remembers when his nephew barely came up to his waist. Fuck, Shang Qinghua remembers when his nephew couldn’t walk. What is this? Who allowed time to pass like this?

Luo Binghe scrapes the chopped vegetables off the board and into the basket beside him, before putting down the knife and turning around. He smiles.

There’s no way for Shang Qinghua to count how many times he’s seen that before.

“Uncle,” the protagonist says fondly. “You’re here.”

“Let’s talk,” Luo Binghe calls out, cajoling now. “Stop running and speak to me and perhaps old hurts can be forgiven. All that condonation and betrayal is so far in the past now. This lord can be merciful, Shang Qinghua. Just speak: how many things have you been hiding...?”

AN: This is PIDW Luo Binghe, by the way.

Once I realized I was going to have a room full of fortune-telling devices, I was like... “Ooh! Bing-Ge scene! I should have a Bing-Ge scene!” Because, like, that’s the curse of SVSSS transmigrator protagonists who trip into caring about Luo Binghe, baby!

Shang Qinghua takes some deep breaths to calm his poor, weak heart, and nearly falls to the floor anyway! But he catches himself!

And then a large, cold hand wraps around his arm to steady him. It’s the cold that keeps him from lashing out and probably breaking his own hand. Instead, he looks up, heart still pounding in his ears, into the frowning face of Mobei-Jun.

“Oh, you have the worst timing,” Shang Qinghua breathes.

Mobei-Jun’s expression twitches and he lets go.

“No!” Shang Qinghua chases the hand with his own, catching it before the man can get too far. “My king, I’m so glad to see you! Thank you for finally coming! I have so much to say,” he says quickly. “I-”

Before he realizes that he’s essentially holding Mobei-Jun’s hand for no reason now - ah, now that’s something he never would have dared to do like twenty years ago - and carefully drops it. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm the panic still racing through his veins. And then promptly realizes that Mobei-Jun is here. The demon lord is here in this secret basement.

AN: Moshang in this fic is... hmmm... a little weird sometimes, because a lot of it has been happening in the background. A lot of it has been unspoken until Shang Qinghua’s breakdown and until now.

Shang Qinghua isn’t actually as scared of Mobei-Jun in this fic as he is in SVSSS, and I hope that comes across. When he had his breakdown, part of it was fear, but a large part of it was also actually anger. Shang Qinghua was afraid of how the System had changed his life, but he was also angry about this loss of control. Yes, he was terrified of Mobei-Jun because he didn’t know if it was still his Mobei-Jun, which brought lots of old memories and old anger to the surface, in which Shang Qinghua was kind of like, “How dare you think you get to freely touch me after the things you did and never apologized for?”

BUT the status quo in this world, before the World Update, is one in which Mobei-Jun touches Shang Qinghua’s hip without SQH flinching. It’s one in which SQH and MBJ drink and relax together. It’s one in which SQH isn’t afraid to reach out and grab MBJ’s hand, because he misses MBJ.

They’re so close, they just need to actually talk it out.

Shang Qinghua glances at the ladder and the open hole in the floor. “Ah, my king, did you… climb down here looking for me?”

“Yes,” Mobei-Jun answers, looking around with sharp eyes. He doesn’t seem to be very impressed with what he’s seeing. “...What is this place?”

“My, ah, my basement,” Shang Qinghua answers, leaving out the part where he didn’t even know he had one until about an hour ago. The System is determined to make him look like a bit of a madman, huh? “It’s just… just some artifacts and tools. I don’t… I don’t really come down here a lot…”

Mobei-Jun finishes studying the room, then stares at him again, his gaze more piercing than ever.

“The future concerns you this much?” he says.

Shang Qinghua is totally prepared to deny everything, but the phrasing of that cuts off every story he might try to tell. He glances around the room, full of these broken, desperate, stolen things. It’s… reflecting.

“...Yes,” he admits, hoarsely. Then coughs. “I… my king, we should… talk.”

“Yes,” Mobei-Jun agrees.

“But, ah, not here? I don’t… like it here.”

“Yes.”

AN: Mobei-Jun is one of the people who has noticed that Shang Qinghua knows more than he should. And now, thanks to this secret basement, Mobei-Jun has an explanation for why Shang Qinghua knows more than he should!

If you don’t know about the System element, then this basement is actually pretty in-character for the new Shang Qinghua of PINTWILF.

He is so scared of the future. He’s invested in the story now.

Shang Qinghua isn’t surprised at all when the special item speaks again as soon as it’s back in his hand.

Why would it shut up now, after all?

“He has no name but the position he has been promised to, which he may not live to see,” the Weeper’s Eye says, which pulls Shang Qinghua’s gaze back to the demon lord waiting for him. “His father uses him as a tool. His mother is long departed. His uncle wants him dead. He has long known that these broken promises cannot be undone… but he knows new promises may yet be made.”

Mobei-Jun is frowning at the crystal eye in Shang Qinghua’s hand, looking between it and Shang Qinghua’s own eyes.

He’s not dressed-up the same way he was the last time Shang Qinghua saw him - no especially fancy robes or ornaments or jewelry. He looks like himself this time.

“If these ones are not kept, there will be nothing for the nameless man who will be king.”

Shang Qinghua doesn’t move.

AN: I mentioned exploring Mobei-Jun not having a name in the commentary on the previous chapter. I guess that’s my take on PIDW Mobei-Jun... that the man doesn’t really have anything outside of his position. He’s a king, in service to a tyrant, and he’s never going to let anyone in. He’s just... cold... the whole way through. PIDW Mobei-Jun has an icy throne and nothing else.

PINTWILF (and SVSSS) Mobei-Jun has the Airplane version of Shang Qinghua. When Airplane saved MBJ’s life, the System wasn’t making him do it, he made that choice for himself. The System was willing to let MBJ die (and, in my headcanon, be replaced by some ice demon cousin or LGJ). So, MBJ turns around and chooses Shang Qinghua for himself.

Shang Qinghua was like, “No! This character can’t be replaced! You can’t just dress someone else up as Mobei-Jun! You can’t just let the character die! It has to be this man in that role! No one else!”

When Mobei-Jun is coming to talk to Shang Qinghua in this fic, in this moment, he is making this choice for himself, the nameless man who has been promised a position he might not live to see. That’s what the Weeper’s Eye is getting at. If Shang Qinghua doesn’t want to hear the promises Mobei-Jun is will to make him, there might as well not be anything in Mobei-Jun’s future to make him an individual, more than a cold figure acting out a part.

“...Shang Qinghua,” Mobei-Jun says finally. “I will not hurt you.”

Shang Qinghua’s gaze snaps from the crystal eye in his hand, back to the demon lord standing by the exit to this secret basement.

“We will speak,” Mobei-Jun says solemnly, slowly, like someone repeating the lines of a script. “I wish to be understood by you. I have not known how. Yet I must try now… in my own words… and you must listen.”

Shang Qinghua swallows.

The anger - the frustration - breaking through at the end there sounds more like the man he knows. He’s pretty sure that’s meant to be a request, but it sounds like an order.

AN: After their last conversation, Mobei-Jun had a lot of soul-searching to do, and one of the conclusions he came to is that he can’t take anything for granted. He has to made explicitly clear, using words, which is apparently what matters with humans and with this human in particular, everything he feels. He can’t take the risk of continuing to hurt Shang Qinghua by letting the man think that he doesn’t regret hurting him or may hurt him again someday.

He puts the Weeper’s Eye down.

He’s really sick of this thing. He doesn't want to carry it around all the time.

It only tells him things he knows, anyway.

AN: We’ll get into the Weeper’s Eye in future chapters, but it’s... it’s not really a mind-reading device. It kind of is. It is a little bit. But part of the reason it’s so informative here is that Shang Qinghua is holding it and Shang Qinghua actually knows a lot about his characters and the people in his life.

Even the original characters, like Fanli, he knows well. She’s his family. He’s privy to Fanli’s problems through Jiahui and Liu Qingge if nothing else.

With Shen Yuan, he doesn’t know the kid well yet, but his fellow transmigrator isn’t that difficult to read and he’s been where Shen Yuan is.

Shang Qinghua putting the Weeper’s Eye down here is a show of trust of sorts. It’s a way of telling himself to get out of his own head, away from character roles and exaggerated panic, and put himself in the moment with someone he knows and... well... trusts and wants to trust even more.

Shang Qinghua follows Mobei-Jun out of the basement, removing the spiritual seal from the wall, which makes the creepy basement entrance disappear, then replacing the flower that covered it. He hesitantly follows the demon lord back to the main room of his Leisure House. He has no idea how to stand, suddenly, or where to stand.

Mobei-Jun looks very determined.

“So, ah, should we… sit?”

“No,” Mobei-Jun replies, then abruptly says, “Shang Qinghua, you do not have to fear me. I do not wish to cause you any pain. Now or in the future.”

Shang Qinghua stares, wide-eyed.

That’s not… something he ever expected to hear explicitly.

Good! It's good, though! Very good.

It's great, really.

“...Thank you,” he says, stunned. “I don’t want to cause you pain either?”

“You have shown as much. Many times.”

This is probably not the time for an “Yes, I did tell you so” in any form!

Instead, trying to remember all the speeches he prepared while waiting, Shang Qinghua says, “You have too! In your own way! I just… my king, last time you visited was a… it was a very bad day for me. I apologize for my behavior! I was speaking from a place of-”

“Fear,” Mobei-Jun interrupts darkly. “Well-deserved.”

“Ah, well…”

“You believed that I would hurt you, in your state,” Mobei-Jun says.

“I was… it was very a bad and confused state, my king.”

“...You do not trust me.”

Shang Qinghua’s voice dries up on him. He wouldn’t put it that way, exactly! That sounds pretty terrible when said in such a blunt way. They’ve moved past that, haven’t they? It’s more that he trusts different people with different things! He trusts Luo Jiahui to be Luo Jiahui, and Liu Qingge to be Liu Qingge, and Mobei-Jun… to be Mobei-Jun.

AN: Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun got really far without explicitly talking about things, but at some point that stopped cutting it.

“I have hurt you before,” Mobei-Jun says, looking at him directly. “From a place of fear… of anger… of… misunderstanding. I am… sorry for this. I will not do so again. I was wrong to treat you in such a way.”

Shang Qinghua takes in a deep breath… and out again.

Fuck, it feels like his eyes are burning.

“You have my respect,” Mobei-Jun says quietly, urgently, not letting up on getting all of these words out into the open. “You have my regard. You have my trust. Yet I have not shown this in a way that you have understood, so you could not share this. I have demanded your loyalty without being deserving of it.”

“My king,” Shang Qinghua protests, taking a step forward. “I was- I should have said-”

“You did. Many times. In many ways. I did not understand.”

“I wasn’t very clear either-”

“It was my responsibility to be clear. I must be clear now.”

“You’re being very clear now,” Shang Qinghua agrees quickly. If things get any clearer here, if any more of the things they’ve left unspoken get said, his heart won’t be able to take it. “Thank you, my king. It means- thank you."

Mobei-Jun nods. He looks relieved.

AN: I wanted to write a version of Moshang that felt... a little more mature? Shang Qinghua has developed a lot in this fic. He has grown as a person. And Mobei-Jun has seen this growth over the years.

Mobei-Jun has also been able to see into this Shang Qinghua in a way that wasn’t available in SVSSS canon. I think that SVSSS Shang Qinghua was locked the fuck down. I think he was almost completely inaccessible and offered very, very few openings for connection.

But in this universe, Mobei-Jun actually knows a lot more about Shang Qinghua. He knows what motivates Shang Qinghua. He knows that Shang Qinghua is a doting uncle and a doting older brother. He knows that Shang Qinghua has come to care for his sect. He knows that Shang Qinghua is intelligent and resourceful and funny. They drink together and talk politics! Mobei-Jun knows that Shang Qinghua is loyal and tired and trustworthy.

So... there was an opening here that didn’t exist in SVSSS canon.

And Mobei-Jun took it.

Shang Qinghua knows that cultural differences are a hell of a thing here, but everything being understandable in hindsight didn't make it not fucking hurt. It still hurts, even finally having the apology he never thought he'd get.

"...We’ve been pretty bad at understanding each other, huh?”

“It has often seemed as though we were not meant to meet,” the demon lord says softly.

Shang Qinghua, who can't imagine getting through his transmigration experience without meeting this man, thinks over all the unknowing irony in that statement.

"...Maybe."

“The differences are… significant.”

Shang Qinghua laughs, almost disbelieving. “That’s a word for it!”

"But not impassable."

"Ah… I… hope not."

AN: I’ll probably make a separate post for this, but I love Moshang transmigrator reveals. Bingqiu transmigrator reveals are mostly about the Abyss, which is great, because that needs clearing up. MOSHANG transmigrator reveals are like, “My weak human husband is a god???”

Also love it when MBJ is like, “Yes, this makes sense.”

“I have never known what you have wanted from me,” Mobei-Jun says next, like a confession. “Your life, you have said, time and time again. Though I am only alive by your grace. You demand none of what you deserve of me.”

“...I don’t think ‘deserve’ is a good word for this,” Shang Qinghua says, which probably isn’t the right thing to say, but he’s really too stunned to come up with anything better. He really didn’t prepare for the right conversation here. “Aha, sorry, my king. It’s just… I don’t think I like to think about it in terms of ‘owing’ anymore. Between us. At least… not like some sort of strict balance? I do something nice for you, you owe me. You do something bad to me, I get to hurt you. Not… not like that.”

Mobei-Jun thinks about it.

“Sorry, I don’t really know what I’m saying-”

“You are deserving of better than what I have given you,” Mobei-Jun insists, determinedly. “I do not understand you. I have never understood you.”

Shang Qinghua feels the same way.

“But I would like to,” Mobei-Jun says next. “I would if you would allow it.”

AN: Mobei-Jun is only alive because Shang Qinghua saved him and he knows it! And Shang Qinghua has never made the demands he should have made, having that kind of leverage over Mobei-Jun!

I’ve always wondered if this is deeply romantic by demon standards. Like, not inherently romantic. But I would bet that Mobei-Jun really likes the idea of a relationship where no one is keeping score... no one is granting favors to use like a leash of obligation... no one owes the other things they don’t want to give. I would bet that Mobei-Jun really, really likes the idea of a relationship where affection is freely given because the people in it want to give it.

He does feel as though he owes Shang Qinghua, but I think Mobei-Jun likes the idea that his favor is his to give just because he wants to give it.

Mobei-Jun lifts a hand, slowly, and holds it out.

Shang Qinghua thinks about it.

He thinks about it again.

He reaches back and puts his hand in Mobei-Jun’s own, which is as cool to the touch as always, and moves over his skin carefully. His hold is so light that Shang Qinghua could break it without any issue at all.

They stay there, like that, looking at each other.

Looking at their hands, holding without hurting, after everything. It's such a small gesture.

It feels kind of like a miracle.

AN: I am... a huge fucking sucker for Mobei-Jun holding Shang Qinghua waaaaay too lightly because he won’t risk hurting Shang Qinghua again. Like, this man is going to take it from the top. No more assumptions.

“What do you want, Shang Qinghua?” Mobei-Jun says, voice turning up at the end, in the closest thing that the man might ever come to helplessness. “What do you want from this?”

“I…” Shang Qinghua wipes at his burning eyes with his free hand. This is kind of pitiful. “Fuck.”

Mobei-Jun lifts his free hand and uses his own sleeve to wipe at Shang Qinghua’s tears, like his robes aren’t important to him at all. “Ask,” the man says, in the tone of a promise. “You do not have to fear the future. Anything I have to give is yours.”

Shang Qinghua gives up on trying to speak and just moves forward to bury his face in Mobei-Jun’s chest. Fuck it. The demon lord who was supposed to kill his character lets him do it. Mobei-Jun holds on to him, arms heavy but still so careful, the man’s chest moving in a sigh that sounds like relief.

This really was too many unspoken things to finally say aloud all at once.

AN: So, yeah! That’s what I’m been building up to with the Jiahui/Qingge marriage and the Qijiu fights and makeup, getting Shang Qinghua to think about what he wants from his relationship with Mobei-Jun. Luo Jiahui and Shen Qingqiu have basically been throwing the question at him repeatedly: “What do you want from this life, Shang Qinghua?”

Because it can’t all be plot! You’ve taken your family for yourself, but you can have more than that! You’ve made so many choices already... you can take this last step and make this choice too. Let Mobei-Jun in.

A lot of Moshang plots end up being “Shang Qinghua’s inability to communicate versus Mobei-Jun’s inability to communicate”. Which is great! That’s Moshang! And some external issue (a rival demon lord, Linguang-Jun, etc.) will end up being the secondary plot which acts as a scenario pusher for the primary plot of the Moshang relationship. Again, great stuff!

But since the romance isn’t the focus of this fic, I decided it would be fun to have a more “Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun versus the problem” take. (Which also shows up in lots of Moshang fics! Definitely not exclusive to this fic at all!) I’m looking forward to having Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun actually try and tackle problems together, as a couple, inside the main “Family of Choice” plot.

Which isn’t to say that Moshang have totally worked out their relationship here. They have only just gotten together. Mobei-Jun still has issues. Shang Qinghua still has many issues. They’ve got a lot to work out together. They’ve never been in a relationship like this before and there’s a lot of people out there who would object to their relationship! Their relationship is going to continue to grow as the fic continues. They’re going to have a few bumps in the road.

But I really like the idea of Mobei-Jun being Shang Qinghua’s rock in this fic. This man has been so stressed. He needs a hug from his ice demon boyfriend who can soothe headaches with a hand.

When Shang Qinghua feels like he has himself more under control, he draws back just far enough to say, “My king, will you kiss me?”

Mobei-Jun’s expression is already soft, at least by his standards. His gaze turns hooded before he leans down as Shang Qinghua leans up. Shang Qinghua takes the man’s face between his hands to kiss him. It feels nice, if uncertain, with the hunger of something a long time coming at the end of it. There's years worth of wanting in this.

It has been so fucking long since Shang Qinghua kissed anyone.

He breaks the kiss and has to stifle laughter, clinging to the front of Mobei-Jun’s robes, which the man never closes properly, so now Shang Qinghua is never going to be able to not thinking about touching it. It’s a very nice chest to touch. He knew it would be.

Mobei-Jun’s brow furrows slightly, his hands staying on Shang Qinghua’s hips.

“What?”

Ah, sorry! Sorry, my king! It’s just- this is such a ridiculous detail to get stuck on, but your lips are kind of cold? I’ve, ah, I’ve always kind of wondered,” Shang Qinghua confesses quietly, without really meaning to actually say it. Holy shit, he’s going to blame saying something like this after that on the fact that he’s had a very long and very weird day. “Sorry. I'm really tired. It's fine. It's good.”

Mobei-Jun snorts and kisses him again, as if to say, “Deal with it.”

AN: Cute! Mobei-Jun likes it when Shang Qinghua laughs. I stand by this.

#tossawary svsss #tossawary commentary #pride is not the word #moshang #mobei jun #shang qinghua

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writing-frenzy · 4 years

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Plz let Airplane be EVEN MORE Awesome - Fic Rec Part Duo

*Stares at all the notes my last post got* Nice to know we are all just as Thirsty for the good boi as Mobei-Jun is.

So Thus, I have decided to make another! (Smashes the post button) Since there was a lot, I just decided to make another post.

here we go kids, more of that good Airplane love... alongside that good quality Moshang because I am biased~

(Plz share if you find more!)

a cup of vinegar, a spoon of sugar by Shamelesscooper - “Your timing certainly is impeccable, my lord,” Wei Wuxian groans, rubbing his back. “What brings you here for the second time in as many nights…?” “I left my cloak,” Mobei-Jun says, shooting Wei-Wuxian a dirty look as the bird demon shrugs his robe back on.“You certainly did!” Shang Qinghua exclaims, crossing his arms quite crossly. “You can’t just leave your things everywhere, my king!” Mobei-Jun’s hard stare refocuses on Shang Qinghua, and he can’t help but shrink back, hurriedly rummaging around in his qiankun pouch for the offending garment. As soon as Shang Qinghua finds it, Mobei-Jun takes it from his hands and throws it over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh as if it relieved him to have it there again. If you miss it so much, why did you even leave it behind?! Shang Qinghua almost wants to say, but he is quite fond of his head, actually, and would rather Mobei-Jun not take it off his shoulders, thankyouverymuch.

--Shang Qinghua is tasked with escorting the leader of the Yiling Carrion Tribe to Gusu, and it'd be fine if only Mobei-Jun would stop poking his (gorgeous, beautiful, drop-dead handsome) head in!

*Evil grin* here we have a delicious rare side of Jealous Mobei, Shang Qinghua doing something that most MDZS fans dream of doing once, and a side of shamelessness from our favorite ‘Lovebirds’ XD Not to mention how steamy it gets~

You Will Never Step Lightly In The Dark by Janusoverlord - Shang Qinghua wakes up in the aftermath of Tianlang-Jun's rampage on Cang Qiong Mountain and has to navigate the delicate political situation he now finds himself in. Luo Binghe is building a harem with Shen Qingqiu as his first, and honestly most terrifying, husband. Yet, Luo Binghe seems to be turning his eyes to Shang Qinghua as a possibility as well. Excuse you? What is this? He didn't sign up for this!

Okay, make sure you read the tags kiddies because uhhh, this has some themes to it. It is also part of a series as well, but I read it stand alone and it does good with how it explains things; as it is...

Let me just say, Luo Binghe does not know what he just got into; all mortals will bow to the might of our lord Airplane! I really did like this and I am tentatively on the fence about reading the rest of the series, because the writing is so damn good but we will see how my ship cravings twist.

With Ink and Sword by xnemone - Shang Qinghua is appropriately nervous when he passes the Imperial Exams only to be assigned not to the Emperor’s palace, but to the barren lands ruled by a lord known to be as ruthless as he is cold. Although his friend and confidant Shen Qingqiu gives him a sympathetic smile and a mountain of furs before he sets off, Shang Qinghua feels less than reassured.He expects ridicule, a harsh regime, even rejection. What he does not expect is for Mobei-Jun to take one look at him among all the scholars and servants of his palace, and proclaim him his.

Now, this is such a good story, I love it, is makes me feel happy and squishy inside with the good Moshang, and you know what? It has my new favorite thing in the world!

Shang Qinghua calls Cucumber bro out! AND IT IS GLORIOUS!!! (Seriously, why does this not happen more often?)

Good Vibrations by Feynite - In Shang Qinghua’s defense, this whole trope was originally something he’d only ever written in for Sha Hualing, for precisely one scene.

In which I actually feel ashamed for forgetting such a treasure. Like, Feynite is a wonderful wordsmith, invoking so many thoughts and good shit with their words and characters, and by god do I end up just loving them even more then before.

This story passes the Vibe Check! (Luo Binghe also gets a Vibe Check~)

From Your Perspective by cozycitywitch - It was nothing more than a curse, probably, and surly the witch doctor could fix it? So what else was Shang Qinghua to do inside Mobei Jun's body until the end of the night? He couldn't be blamed for his curiosity! He was only a man! Or the one where Moshang switch bodies and Shang Qinghua can't help himself.

Now, this is a lovely, spicy lime where while there is no big action or technical awesomeness going on, it does have some wonderful images; Shang Qinghua’s hamster body with the aura of a king, him showing off being intimating which means Shang Qinghua can indeed be scary, it is something that could happen if he has the motivation for it.

Not to mention this is just a hot story all around~ (My kingdom’s for My King’s POV on this~)

ham hunt by jets_adjacent - There's a wolf at Shang Qinghua's heels and his only thought is: Northern mating rituals are a pain in the ass.

This is a really, really good A/B/O fic; it also shows just how tricky and sneaky our Shang Qinghua can be, as well as a mischievous side I just love seeing in our favorite Peak Lord. And let’s not forget the spicy goodness of this fic, which is really tasty~ (And can I get a shout out for consent and negotiated kinks!)

In which healthy relationship skills are forcibly brought into Proud Immortal Demon Way by two bros by Rafaela271412421 - Look, if no one is going to give these people friends and healthy relationships then by GOD, I WILL do it myself! It's about two bros bringing healthy relationships into PIDW both intentionally and not. Gods and deities, accidental and not, will also be included. Also, it's in bullet point format, so you’ve been warned.

ahahahahaahhahahahaahaha! I love this fucking outline/bullet points presentation, it is something I always end up going back to and giggling like an idiot. The is really a healing piece, my crops have been watered, my face is clear, and Airplane and Cucumber Bros go completely feral~ I love it, I want to propose marriage~

trinkets for a king by jets_adjacent - Shang Qinghua gives many extraordinary gifts to his King. His King finally catches on. --aka: Mobei Jun has never been courted by a human before.

So, this is a wonderful subversion of the ‘Mobei-Jun courts/plans his wedding to Shang Qinghua all the while said man is unaware’. like, it is so cute and I love jelly Airplane; it gives me life. Also, one of the few we see Airplane taking full advantage of all his author knowledge and using it for the devious plans~

The Southern King and The North Star by Luuplup - A series of meetings between the Southern King and a cultivator. The happy moments, the romantic moments, the sad moments.

Another really cute Role Reversal I find I greatly enjoy, with a very competent, beloved Lord Demon!Airplane :D it makes me happy when I read it, I end up wanting to hug something~ It seems like it will be a slow burn, what with our favorite moronsexuals, but oh is it delicious seeing the buildup~

under a wicked star by tagteamme - Caught unaware, Mobei Jun is kidnapped for leverage. On the eighth day, Mobei Jun is broken out of his trance by the sound of something being tossed into his pit. It’s a lot lighter than what they throw food down in. He realizes that today, he is not tied down.When he moves off the bed, he does not need the canopy post to support his weight as he stands up. The object on the floor glints in the firelight, and Mobei Jun crouches to pick it up. His face is immoving; slowly, he turns the An Ding peak lord crown in his hand, looking at the blood-soaked metal through the light.

SQH to the rescue! Alongside some good old fashioned angsty Moshang miscommunication but with Mobei-Jun’s POV this time, and some absolutely good steamy good times for all XD

we seal our fate by ketolic (corrose) - All things considered, it really was sort of obvious. Hey! Anyone can be a genius in retrospect. Hindsight is 20/20! Besides, who can blame him! He'd never written about this facet of Mobei Jun's life before! Still...considering all the times he'd gotten his hands on Mobei Jun's sealskin, he's sort of shocked that it took him so long to figure it out.

:D This story makes me giggle uncontrollably, and still finds ways to unexpectedly stab me in the heart. I love it! Not to mention we get to see SQH be awesome! Sure, he flails around as he does it, but busts out the fighting moves and even fits a rescue in there! So good, so in character, I love every watery moment of this fic... good thing I’m so thirsty- (Is shot)

-----

But yeah! These are some more good stories I found, some a bit more- urrrr- thirstier then others~ you can find the first thing of Fic Recs Here! And Plz, share more awesome Airplane whenever you have a chance~

#SVSSS #Scum Villain Self Saving System #Scum Villain Self-Saving System #Shang Qinghua #Moshang #Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky

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heterophobiclanwangji · 4 years

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Stupid Sexy Shizun

(an unnecessarily long post about Shen QIngqiu, romantic storylines, and dangerous fanon)

I see a lot of varying characterizations for Shen Qingqiu, especially vis a vis his allure to the other (typically male) members of the cast. Frankly, I do think the entire thing is funnier if a lot of people are in love with Shen Qingqiu, who only really recognizes Luo Binghe (and even then only after nearly apocalyptic levels of drama), and I’m willing to believe that he is unwittingly attractive for the following reasons:

he unintentionally falls into suggestive situations (the Skinner incident with the immortal binding cables, the Huan Hua Palace Water Dungeon, also with immortal binding cables For Some Reason, the succubus incident with Liu Qingge, etc.)

he may fall into improper/informal forms of address (for example, calling Binghe by name the first time they meet, rather than Luo Binghe or any of the previous Shen Qingqiu’s, er, nicknames)

he doesn’t always understand physical boundaries the same way as other characters (yikes @ the scene in one of the extras where he gives Binghe spiritual energy via skin-to-skin contact and fails to understand how/why that would be inappropriate, and potentially the situation with Liu Qingge cleansing his meridians, although I have reservations about that)

he tends to objectify people, which makes more sense when you realize he’s evaluating them based on his understanding of their characters and function in the original plot and cataloging differences, but reads differently to people who don’t have that context (which is almost everyone) (he makes internal comments about how hot a lot of the characters are, and I feel like he stares at people, but I can’t remember a specific incident for this; in conversations, it comes up in lines like “even if something bad happens, it won’t happen to you,” or “I knew you would definitely win,” both spoken to Binghe--at this point Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know Binghe very well and still sees him as The Protagonist, but to Binghe they just seem like heartwarming moments of security and belief)

he has trouble enforcing platonic guidelines to his relationships due to his fundamental belief that no one would find him attractive, be it romantically or sexually, and therefore sees no reason to draw that distinction (not going to cite specific incidences for this, it’s more of a recurring combination of his low self-esteem and lack of self-awareness, which I may talk about later in another post).

however, some reasons I have seen in fandom that do not seem likely based on my understanding of the plot and characters (although I will be the first to admit that I do not remember every single detail of the novel or extras, and that Shen Qingqiu is not the most reliable narrator to start with) are as follows:

fan language (technically possible, no indications given in canon, and you cannot convince me that Mr. I-Named-This-Poison-With-No-Cure-Without-A-Cure, Great God Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had the patience and wherewithal to research or create a comprehensive fan language)

owning and using slutty, slutty inner robes (this would require the cutthroat, inscrutable original Shen Qingqiu to own such robes in the first place, I don’t remember any canonical references to improper dress aside from instances where he has been disrobed--the Skinner incident, Huan Hua Palace Water Dungeon, and his QingSi treatment--, and Shen Qingqiu has a healthy paranoia about governing his appearances so people won’t realize he isn’t the original goods; yes, the Peak Lords suspect him of being possessed anyway, but to my knowledge their reasons centered around his personability and investment in his students rather than robes or hair ornamentation)

eating suggestive foods (this one is slightly debatable. again, he doesn’t see himself as someone people would find attractive, so I can’t discount the idea that he would inadvertently eat something in a suggestive manner. however, I saw someone have him request dishes involving aphrodisiacs, and I was like, WACK. He probably had a cataloged index of the different weird plants and monsters of PIDW before his transmigration and ranted excessively in the comments about all of the pointless precursors to papapa, up to and including creating different plants/animal organs that have the same or better effects and then yelled at Airplane for not keeping better track of his own inventions. This is the guy who saw Liu Qingge under the effects of succubus poison or whatever and immediately knocked him into a cold bath. you won’t catch him slipping that easily)

enabling Binghe to get away with suggestive/improper and sexualized behavior while he was still a teenaged disciple. I think this one really gets to me because that narrative of the virginal innocent Shizun and his perverted disciple is the exact view that the outside world has of their dynamic, as represented by the fragments of The Resentment of Chunshan that we see in the extras. People see Binghe as a depraved monster (he is a demon, after all) and make insinuations about his treatment of Shen Qingqiu’s corpse during the five years between his death and resurrection. For contrast, the crux of the novel is Shen Qingqiu realizing that Binghe is hurt and insecure and desperately begging to be loved. In the extras he even goes through some of Binghe’s memories and remarks about how, contrary to rumor, all Binghe did was keep his body from rotting while he searched for ways to revive him. I won’t say that Binghe wasn’t a teenage boy and never did what teenage boys do, but the extras showed us that Binghe would rather throw himself into a cold lake than act inappropriately towards his Shizun, and I can’t remember him making any sexual advances until after Shen Qingqiu came back to life. In canon, Binghe is ill-informed and generally bad at sex, which doesn’t speak to me like someone who was just waiting for the right moment to strike.

I will read a hundred fics about Shen Qingqiu inadvertently causing people to fall in love with him, but a lot of fanworks try to make it about a physical allure rather than his personality and the ways in which he feels comfortable interacting with other people. People respond to his kindness and his feelings of duty and honor, and it makes me feel cheated to see interpretations downplay characteristics of his actual personality, especially when it degrades the characters around him, too. Yue Qingyuan feels protective of him but generally listens when Shen Qingqiu tells him not to draw his sword, and in canon he gave Shen Qingqiu enough space that he was surprised by the extent of his grief when Binghe was in the Endless Abyss. Liu Qingge is also protective of Shen Qingqiu and is involved in getting Shen Qingqiu’s promise to remain with Cang Qiong Mountain Sect before the Maigu Ridge incident, but doesn’t stop him from leaving when he decides to go. Binghe makes some questionable choices, but his anger and insecurity are understandable even without the rampant communication failures and the influence of Xin Mo, and the end of the novel shows that Luo Binghe is willing to leave if that’s what Shen Qingqiu wants.

Sometimes fan interpretations get really intense about this, as if Yue Qingyuan, Liu Qingge, and Luo Binghe would catfight over Shen Qingqiu. Granted, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe are willing to throw down at any given time, but the main romantic development comes from Shen Qingqiu treating other people with respect and receiving respect in return. While people do try to influence Shen QIngqiu’s decisions, the ultimate choice is his own.

One of the points of the novel is that people matter and their choices affect not only themselves but the people around them. I don’t care if Shen Qingqiu is some kind of accidental sex god, because his choices and especially his decision to care about other people give Yue Qingyuan, Liu Qingge, and Luo Binghe each something they didn’t have in the original storyline: Yue Qingyuan gets a chance to explain himself and his failures, and is relieved of his burden of caring for Shen Qingqiu; Liu Qingge gets to live and see his little sister grow up; and Luo Binghe gets to be loved and cared for.

As for Shen Qingqiu, he got to choose his own happy ending.

#scum villain #shen qingqiu #scum villain meta #bingqiu #svsss #svss #other characters and ships to a lesser extent #sorry yue qingyuan and liu qingge #me when i was most of the way through the post: wait am i a luo binghe apologist???#i keep a 'luo binghe did some things wrong' sign next to my 'the misunderstandings in scum villain make sense actually' sign #i feel like i got. way too passionate about this #i do not expect this to get notes #my posts

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disownedbytiime · 3 years

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Bing/Jiu thoughts (with added Bing/Qiu)

We know how it went when LBG came to the non-pidw world, and I believe that when he left he realized he was missing so much. One of the differences between Bing-ge and Bing-mei is that Bing-mei is more anxious and scared, the betrayal he felt was different than the betrayal Bing-ge felt, which is why Xin Mo was able to control him and not Bing-ge, but this anxiety comes from the love SQQ poured into him; he felt loved and then betrayed, while Bing-ge never felt truly loved. Sure, he had thousands of wives, but isn’t it obvious he’s just trying to fill a hole in his heart?

So what I’m saying, is that after Bing-ge saw what he could’ve had, he probably became more unstable and now he can only imagine how everything could’ve been if he had a nicer Shizun. Or what if he had brought that other SQQ to his side?? Would this hole in his heart be filled?

So! Leaving Bing-ge aside, let’s focus on SJ. Wouldn’t it be nice if he were to come back and reappear at Bing-mei’s world?? Just like BG came, why can’t he see this different world?

Bing-ge realizes he wants a Shizun of his own, and with whatever magic plant or blood or whatever he manages to bring SJ back (limbs attached and everything.) SJ is definitely surprised and scared, he doesn’t understand why he was brought back (possibly to get killed again, he thinks), he doesn’t trust Bing-ge at all, and why would he? But he’s weak from having been revived recently, so he can’t fight him, he can only be at his mercy. And Bing-ge is confused. He looks at him and sees all the damage they both gave each other, but he wants to try? If he can make his Shizun into a better one, like the one he missed, then maybe things could be good again. He doesn’t want to treat him better though, no, he wants to force his Shizun to treat him like the other one, but it’s not easy when SJ resists so much.

So, during this time where they’re both untrusting and confused, still hating each other, SJ arrives to the other world because Xin Mo opens a portal thanks to Bing-ge’s new instability. Also let’s say that because SJ is still weak he can’t come back quickly, he has to stay in that world for a while.

It’s such a shock for him, to see a world so similar to his own but, at the same time, completely alien. And it’s not just because the SQQ of this world is married to that horrid beast, which is an issue of his own. He can’t believe how different everything is. YQY is alive. “He” didn’t kill LQG. The peak lords are all alive and have a family-like relation. MF and NYY are healthy and are still his lovely disciples. “His” reputation is mostly intact, but he married LBH. Was that the variable? Them falling in love is what made this world completely dissimilar?

On the other hand, this world SQQ –SY– would be livid. He’d be scared at first, the original goods, the scum villain, came back. And sure, he understands him better than when he was only a reader, but still, he’s the man who tortured LBH to the point of transforming him into Bing-ge. So, once he understands what happened, oh how he’d chastise him! Why are you like this?! Why did you have to hurt him so bad?! SJ would chastise him back though. How could you fall in love with such a beast?

But Bing-mei? I don’t think he’d be able to hate him. He doesn’t know what exactly happened over there, he only knows that because his Shizun wasn’t around, the “he” from that other world became a playboy tyrant. This may be a different SQQ, but he’s still Shizun, he can’t treat him badly. SY would tell him not to trust him, but he can’t really explain how he knows so much. If Bing-mei ever finds out the truth –that this Shizun treated “him” so badly that made him become “that” and that that world’s LBH ended up assassinating him in the most horrible way– I don’t think he’d be able to hate SJ anyway. Instead, he’d hate Bing-ge even more. So what if SQQ hurt him? How could he do something like that to him? So, he’d make sure this other Shizun would be comfortable. He can’t change what happened over there, but he can show him that, in this world, he doesn’t hate him and would never hurt him.

Of course, SJ would be even more untrusting. The LBH from his world revived him and cured his wounds, and this one is cooking and caring for him. What is wrong with them?

But time passes, and he can’t help but start to feel comfortable. Even though he’s in the demon realm, he’s not in danger (other than from SY’s glares) and there’s a roof over his head and warm food on his table. He also has access to a library and music instruments, so he’s not bored either. Still he doesn’t understand, he thinks this just means he’ll fall worse later.

SY would hate it so much. He’s the one who disgraced LBH in pidw, how can Bing-Mei treat him so well? His food is meant to be only for him, why is he cooking for that other person too? He’s not jealous of course, but he simply can’t stand that he’s there. Why do they have to watch him? He knows he can’t just throw him away (he has his face and he can’t let him roam around, tarnishing his reputation), but why do they have to keep him there? He tries to leave him with SQH (he’s his ‘father’ after all, isn’t him?) but Bing-mei insists that it’s safer if he stays with them. SY can definitely see that SJ is having fun though.

But then, they decided to let him go to Cang Qiong mountain instead of SY. SY can rest and SJ can go see how his old sect is doing, and somehow SY decides that maybe having him around isn’t that bad, he can now spend more free time with his husband (not like he’d ever admit out loud.)

(Around this time Bing-mei decides to feed SJ his blood –he’s surprised Bing-ge didn’t do it already– but he lets the other man know it’s just so he can track where he is, he won’t do anything bad to him. SJ wasn’t even aware this was a thing until it’s too late, but since Bing-mei really doesn’t do anything bad, he simply accepts it.)

SJ goes together with SQH, who gets somehow blamed and roped into helping him in case someone gets suspicious. And they do, especially Qi-ge. They ask him why he’s there alone, did he fight with LBH? He’s never separated from him. And SJ, who still can’t accept that “he” is meant to be together with him, tells them off. (So they all think he definitely had a fight with him), but little by little they realize he’s… different. He seems like he forgot some things, he is wary around them, he kind of resembles his old self? But when they ask neither him nor SQH confirm it, so they can only wonder silently. SJ is somewhat happy that in this world he still has disciples like MF or NYY, but he can’t help but want to know what really happened. How did this world’s SQQ fell for LBH and viseversa.

(As an added, SQH is amazed to see the original villain. He didn’t know before about Bing/qiu meeting BG, so when he finds out, he’s overjoyed that his original sons exists anyway. He’s quite interested in hearing SJ’s story from his own mouth (to see if it’s the same as his own work) and I feel like SJ would be, at first, weirded out but later he’d like the attention and thus, a nice friendship between the two would start –much to SQQ’s chagrin–)

The first thing SJ does is finding ‘Resentment of Chunshan’ –which definitely do not help the case nor ease his worries– he knew LBH was a beast, but for him to act so shameless towards his own Shizun ??? He wants to kill him again and even feels bad for this world’s SQQ; until SQH explains that the author took some artistic liberties and that in real life things didn’t happen that way. Here either SQH tells him what happened or they go with Meng Mo for help (he’d be interested in why there are two SQQs so he’d help him in exchange for info, which he doesn’t get since SJ isn’t even sure why this happened.)

After finding out the whole truth SJ is sort of speechless. It seems like at the beginning everything was the same until suddenly SQQ started treating LBH better out of nowhere, and that simple action was what changed everything. Really? Only by showing some compassion it made the world so different? He realizes it was all SQQ. He doesn’t fail when helping LQG, he doesn’t go to sleep at the burdel, his relationship with YQY is pleasant. And so he realizes, he is the problem. And also the answer.

It truly shakes his world, but what can he do? He’s not SY, even if he tried, there’s no way he could’ve done the same, right? There’s simply no way he could fall for someone like LBH for starters, even if the beast had fallen for him first.

Still, he can’t help but want to see more into their relationship. SY still pushed Bing-mei into the endless abyss (just like he did), but it didn’t feel the same. Bing-mei still brought a lot of problems for SY, he preyed on him, he imprisoned him, but how come SY still died for LBH? What was his problem? Dying for an unfilial disciple. (It’s here where he sees the real power of the demonic blood). But the more he remembers what he saw in the dreamscape and compares it to the couple that live with him, he starts to understand. He doesn’t like it, he can’t feel like this world’s SQQ made a mistake, but seeing that his life wasn’t any better he realizes that maybe this is how things were supposed to be.

Then why does his world exist? Just to be proof that the worst could happen? Is his world simply a bad example? He decides that it’s no use to ponder about this. Even if things were meant to be like in this world, there’s no way he can change the past, nor does he wants to, he thinks. He can only accept his reality, enjoy this ephemeral opportunity he was given and maybe think how things could’ve been. If he has to be honest, this isn’t such a bad life.

Then at some point, months in maybe, when he’s already accepted his life there, Bing-ge finds a way to return to this world. Unknown to everybody, he freaked out when he saw with his own eyes how his Shizun was pulled into a different world. He spent months trying to find a way to get him back, only to find him in the same world he had visited some time before, the word that caused his instability, his need for a Shizun of his own and what brought him to get him back.

As soon as Bing-mei sees him he goes for the kill. Not only he played with SY last time, but he also hurt SJ so much. He can’t forgive him, so they fight again, and once again they are properly matched. SJ is in awe at their fight, and the fact they’re fighting over him, but once he sees how worried and terrified SY is when he sees Bing-ge attack Bing-mei, he finally understand completely. Whatever happened in the past it’s forgiven and forgotten, SY and Bing-mei are fated and in love, and he… he feels jealous. He’s not new to this feeling. He definitely understands it well, that’s what he originally felt towards Bing-ge. But where did that brought him? So he makes a choice.

He knows the match won’t stop until one dies or leaves, so he takes the decision to go back with Bing-ge. Both LBHs are surprised (while SY is silently overjoyed) by such choice. And this is kind of self indulgent, but before he leaves, I want SJ to kiss Bing-mei. He goes to say goodbye and just presses his lips over his. It’s so sudden that Bing-mei doesn’t have time to react, but SJ doesn’t want him to because he knows he’s not the one he wants. He just wanted to feel once how it was to be so close to the man who treated him so well. And then, he leaves. He and Bing-ge simply vanish.

After the initial shock, Bing-mei would be slightly sad. Was he not enough for SJ? How come he had to go back to the man who once killed him? Sure, he didn’t love him like he loves SY, but he cared for him, so it’s painful to have him leave. SY on the other hand is both grateful that the scum villain finally left, but also angry that he kissed his husband. It’s his husband, why did he have to do that? But once he sees Bing-mei sad, he can’t help but feel tender. He tells him that he doesn’t need to worry, even if Bing-ge is powerful, SJ is no longer weak and he probably can defend himself, I mean, is him right? Does LBH thinks so poor of this teacher? (SY knows SJ has no opportunity against Bing-ge but he can’t tell him that.) Bing-Mei feels better, but he feels even better when he finally realizes that SY had been jealous all this time. And so, he soon puts SJ in the back of his mind (but not totally forgotten!) to enjoy this new development of his husband.

Back to Bing/Jiu. When Bing-ge found out SJ was in that world he was surprised, but when he saw SJ kissing Bing-Mei he got mad, even if he accepted to go back with him, how come that other LBH got to have both Shizun for himself? Not only he’s sleeping with one, but he also stole SJ? He hadn’t even touched him yet, less alone kiss him. What right did he have? And he lets SJ know. He asks him if he enjoyed it? Screwing around with a taken man. Did that loser even learn already how to fuck? SJ is not having it though. Because of what he saw in the dreamscape he knows that Bing-ge had been there already, he saw him fool around with SY and knew the reason why he was brought back. So he fights back. Does you harem not satisfy you anymore? He was so jealous of the couple over there that had to bring him back and hope they could be the same. It’s obvious they won’t though, and this is something they both know well.

But what else is there then? SJ is already recovered and could try to fight his way out and leave; but he doesn’t. He demands Bing-ge to bring him dinner and goes to the place he was allowed to sleep. Of course Bing-ge can’t believe his audacity, but when he finds out that he’s got demonic blood inside him –and that SJ is well aware of its abilities– but still chooses to stay, he takes a step back. They’re unsure what to do, but maybe it wouldn’t be bad to cook for him once? He definitely can do it better than that loser over there. (Before this he hadn’t cook for him, he had some of the girls do it instead.)

And so, they continue a weird dynamic for several days: Bing-ge cooks for him and SJ doesn’t leave. Until one day when BG brings him dinner, and just before he leaves, SJ asks him to stay for a minute. And then, SJ he kisses him. He doesn’t know exactly why. He doesn’t like this Bing-ge, other than his physique and cooking abilities, there’s nothing good about him; but it’s a thought he’s had for a while, so he goes ahead. Bing-ge is as surprised as Bing-mei was back then, but that doesn’t stay like that for long because moments later he’s slamming him into the table, kissing him deeply and already fumbling with their clothes to get rid of them. SJ complains about his roughness and about the wasted food, but he doesn’t stop him.

And so, just like that their relationship becomes physical. Neither of them is in love, they don’t yearn or pin for the other, but it’s enough to fill the hole in their hearts for now.

And they both become bolder. Bing-ge conditions SJ that if he’s good and behaves, he’ll maybe be able to bring back some of the peak lords, but he has to stay with him or he’ll kill them again. SJ doesn’t mind if he does or doesn’t (though he does yearn a bit for YQY). Bing-ge also starts seeing his harem less and less, until he spends almost all his time with SJ. SJ complains that he’s too clingy and can’t have time alone, but he’s secretly overjoyed. He even goes and flaunts it in the harem’s faces. And though he wants them to leave them alone (he’s now okay with being with the beast, but having to share him with thousand of women is… not his thing), he also remembers how good NYY was over there, how LMY was a respected cultivator, how all these girls were not useless, so he pushes them into leaving and doing something for themselves. What a bunch of trophy wives! Over there the girls actually had a spine! They fought and had their own ambitions. You, though? You can only follow a beast. He definitely sees the irony in his words, but this is a life he decided for himself, so it’s okay.

And then it’s only them. Are they in love just like the Bing/qiu from that other world? Of course not, that’s impossible. Can everything be deleted and can they change? Most likely not, but they can pretend it’s forgiven and forgotten. And are they happy? Who knows. They feel their hearts filling those holes, but it’s most likely out of necessity and not actually something they wanted. But, so what? It’s enough for them. They finally have something to hold to, so they’ll take it.

(Btw! They definitely use the demonic blood when they have sex! Bing-ge is experienced and he’ll use all his knowledge and SJ won’t be able to reject him.)

Also, side note that would kind of make another huge post, but at some point they find a way to go back to that world and have a foursome with Bing/qiu. How? 🤷🏻‍♀️ who cares, it just happens.

#cn rambling/#extremely long but I couldn’t get this out of my mind #it’s like a fanfic idea but I won’t ever write it so #it’s kind of like an outline only

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baoshan-sanren · 3 years

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So thanks to your metas I've finally read SV in like 3 days and now I'm back with a question. Let's say if hypothetically SJ and YQY talked things out and by some miracle SJ wouldn't abuse LBH, do you think that LBH would fall in love with SJ as well given that he'd always thought his Shizun was beautiful, elegant and untouchable. Do you think his feelings would grow into something more with time? I'm living for your takes on blnovels. Thanks in advance

Idk if you can start with SJ not abusing LBH, I think you would have to start with Qiu Jianluo not abusing SJ, or maybe even earlier than that, before he was sold into the Qiu household by human traffickers. To me, there’s no conceivable way where the same SJ who walks away from the carnage at Qiu's Mansion with Wu Yanzi, and later enters the Cang Qiong Mountain, would turn out to be some type of kind and benevolent shizun on par with SY. We don’t get a lot of detailed descriptions of his time with Wu Yanzi, but there is no indication that he enters Cang Qiong Mountain with any intention to give up his festering resentments, regardless of whether YQY can give him a reasonable explanation for never returning or not.

Look, SJ found himself in the shitty situation in Qiu household because he had been trying to protect YQY. That, on its own, shows he was not yet the heartless villain that the later events would forge him into. But this particular rant of his is also very telling:

“Of course it’s all your fault! I blame you. We weren’t close with those newcomers, so what if we were stepped on a little? Why did you have to play hero! Are you afraid that people like us with such lowly lives can’t bear it?! If you hadn’t played hero, why would I have helped you? If I hadn’t helped you, how would I have provoked him, and how would that Qiu guy have ended up buying me?! If he hadn’t bought me, how would I have become like this?! Every two days I get beat up a little bit and every three days I get beat up a lot━he plays me like I’m a dog!”

SJ is very young here, but the difference between him and YQY is starkly obvious. MXTX makes use of this dynamic, this clash of personalities, in both SVSSS, MDZS, and TGCF. “Why did you have to play the hero” should be familiar line to readers of MDZS too, and despite some fan opinions, it’s just not... what the so called “good guy” in the narrative would think, let alone say out loud. (Btw, TGCF is the only one of MXTX’s novels in which we see this type of character actually grow and change with time). Right off the bat, we see this very young SJ as someone who only values (and is willing to protect) those of immediate importance to himself, while YQY, as the typical “hero” of the narrative, tries to protect everyone and ends up harming the person he cares about in the process. You will find these two personality types thrust in these types of situations in 90% of danmei (and wuxia/xianxia) stories for a reason. You are supposed to know that YQY will end the tortured hero and SJ will end the blackened villain, the only differences being other related plot lines and their eventual downfall/redemption. (Or in MDZS’s case, absolute stagnation, which flies in the face of typical development for someone like SJ and apparently, confuses a lot of readers as well).

The second part I think is important to mention about that little rant up there is that SJ is already a person who takes no responsibility for his actions. YQY had “acted the hero” so SJ was forced to act as well, therefore his action is YQY’s fault. He is very young at this point, so no one expects him to be a paradigm of magnanimity, but at the same time, he never grows and matures out of this way of thinking. So SJ who enters Cang Qiong Mountain is already proficient at holding resentments and shifting all the blame for his misfortunes to others. At that point, even if YQY had explained how his haste to cultivate quickly had resulted in a qi deviation and the subsequent confinement, there is no indication that SJ would have found him any less guilty for failing to return in a timely manner. (Don't forget that one of the last admonishments SJ gives to YQY before they part is to stop being so brash. YQY doesn’t listen, which results in qi deviation, which results in SJ being stuck in Qiu household for years. It’s unlikely that SJ would find YQY blameless).

However, if you go back further than all the misery and abuse SJ suffered at the hands of Qiu Jianluo and change things (perhaps the human traffickers sell him into a different, better household, etc) then his path would probably diverge too drastically to continue onto the trajectory towards the Cang Qiong Mountain.

Basically, I see two paths where SJ does not end up the exact heartless scum villain he is in PIDW:

SJ escapes with YQY and they enter Cang Qiong Mountain together. From their earlier relationship, we can infer that SJ is prone to guilt-tripping YQY for his decisions, and seeing himself as the wronged party whenever the situation doesn’t go his way. Would YQY still end up the Sect Leader with SJ by his side? If YQY had never qi deviated and SJ had never started his cultivation so late, would there be a noticeable difference in their skills and strengths? If SJ was more powerful, would YQY not willingly cede the Sect Leader position? And if he didn’t do so, would SJ hold resentment for it? Would the same level of resentment between SJ and LQG still exist?

YQY manages to go back for SJ before the slaughter at the Qiu Mansion. At that point, SJ had been suffering abuse by Qiu Jianluo for years. Would he blame YQY for not coming for him sooner? For the fact that YQY’s tardiness meant he started cultivating late and may never catch up? If SJ’s resentment is the same and YQY’s guilt is the same, would their relationship be any better? People seem to think that SJ would have held so much gratitude for YQY’s (attempted or otherwise) return that he would wipe the slate clean between them, but this is the same person who had blamed YQY’s heroics for his own situation in the first place. Does that seem like the kind of person who would just... feel so much gratitude to let everything else go?

And since only that SJ, the one who had lived with Qiu Jianluo’s abuse, who had slaughtered all of Qiu Manor and was further twisted and warped by Wu Yanzi, since that SJ took LBH on as a disciple out of jealousy and resentment and spite, wouldn’t it make more sense that a less villainous SJ would not give LBH a second glance? Rather than being a better shizun, is it not more fitting that he would have allowed LBH to go where he is likely to have gone without SJ’s interference, which is Bai Zhan Peak?

To me, any possible scenario where SJ (at the moment he is watching potential disciples digging holes) happens to be a better person, is a scenario in which LBH does not become his disciple.

So no, I don’t see any possible scenario in which LBH falls in love with SJ. I believe that SJ was meant to be seen as flawed from the very beginning, from the moment he had blamed YQY for “playing the hero,” and I can’t imagine any twist of circumstances that would make him similar to the type of person (SY) that LBH would fall in love with.

#svsss #meta #Anonymous #ask for ts #basically #if you give me a canon divergence where SJ is not a villain #to me it's a canon divergence where LBH falls in love with LQG instead

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