#so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

#tgcf #human gripes at fandom #anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer #i just absolutely hate it #why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭 #especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships? #mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it #and she didn’t even give that character a name! #simply embarrassing #i could have also talked about jgy here #but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone) #so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others #but anyways #mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su #or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros #you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity? #at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright? #(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke) #i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it #that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan #the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice

[thesiltverses]

Hello! I found the silt verses about three weeks ago and have listened to it several times since. I have a few things to say.

I absolutely adore that episode about the national grid workers. I think it’s my favorite episode of any podcast I’ve ever listened to. My favorite part of that first episode Paige is in is how she justifies not standing up for Vaughn, that cognitive dissonance that you wrote so well. This episode gives me what I wanted from that episode, the workers all banding together to stop the wasteful sacrifice of one of them. The actor who played the foreman did an incredible job as well. I think that having him discuss which of his workers he would sacrifice was such a significant moment, despite how brief it is. It cuts right to the big question that I took away from the podcast which is, “How much is someone willing to sacrifice in order to maintain their comfort?” And the utter disrespect of Glodditch (apologies for the spelling) refusing to cancel even the radio but asking grid workers to kill themselves for 200kw/h! Top tier episode.

I grew up in the south and went to college in Appalachia. I saw the disparity in technology and “advancement” if that makes sense that poverty brings, and the way you set up the world invokes that feeling in me again. You are an amazing world builder and storyteller.

I really enjoyed the cameos - I’m a big fan of malevolent/devisor, Old gods of Appalachia, and all of Jonny sims work, so hearing familiar voices was an absolute delight. Harlan Guthrie as an acolyte of the snuff gods might have been a bit too on the nose with some of the things that man writes, though… /pos

I’m transmasculine, and something that I really appreciate is how you manage to make a trans man do some objectively awful things, but still manage to make him a complex, full character that I was rooting for very frequently. Brother Faulkner is so, so important to me as a character. Paula Vogel has a play called “Indecent,” which is about the true story of a troupe of I believe German Jewish actors between the years of 1910ish and 1940s putting on a show called “God of Vengeance” by Sholem Asch, also a Jewish man. “God of Vengeance” has queer themes and received a lot of criticism from the Jewish community for showing Jewish folks in a “bad” light at a time when there was already so much hatred for Jewish people. Brother Faulkner being as complex and, in my opinion, malicious and cutthroat as he is at a time when trans people face so much bigotry, especially legislatively in the United States, brings this conversation about “God of Vengeance” up again for me. I also love how normalized non-binary people are in this world, without question. “Sibling this or that,” the hunter, adjudicator Shrew - big thanks from me for all of this.

All of this to say, I love this podcast. Can you talk more about the rhetorical gods? Is Babble one? What makes them one if they are, or why aren’t they? I’m fascinated by them. Can you talk more about the propaganda gods too?

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and kind words!

I'll check out Indecent, it sounds really interesting and I'm very glad to hear Faulkner works for you as a character. I think the topic of how to include and write queer characters who are capable of terrible things and thoughts (because, after all, these characters are human beings and not tutelary exemplars), within the context of both a rising movement of transphobia right now and centuries-old scapegoating / pathologising portrayals more generally, is a really knotty but a really important one, and I always want to make sure I'm approaching it with care and due responsibility as well as a sense of humility around the limitations of what, as a cis writer, I can actually achieve.

To that end, I don't want to ever take the audience response for granted, but I'm always really grateful to hear that the portrayal is working for a listener!

Propaganda gods: gods whose prayer-marks or ritual verses are fed directly to the enemy, enforcing destructive or sabotaging changes to reality (so rather than sending a destructive saint or angel to rampage over the foe, you might drop pamphlets or send radio messages to the enemy to 'convert' them).

Rhetorical gods: gods whose followers possess reality-warping powers of language itself (which is why 'rhetorical god' is a polite way of saying 'liar's god'). In other words, the paranoia around them comes partly down to the fact that a disciple like Val may appear to be a limitless shaper of new forms, rather than shaped into a limited form of their own, as a result of their worship.

#carmen maria machado has a fun mini-essay about queer villainous portrayals which I do recommend

[thosewildcharms]

We talk a lot about Rick saying he knew he was in love with his son's best friend, but we need to discuss Michonne's love for, and loyalty to this man since they met. He's always been the one for her.

oh for sure, she chose him from the beginning even if she wasn't fully aware of doing so. btw, if you haven't seen it already, i would recommend this post by @glamaphonic (which is basically required reading in my opinion) for the full trajectory of michonne's feelings for rick.

while I don't necessarily think she was in love with him since day one, you're absolutely right in that it was building from the moment they met. these are the things that stick out to me but let's be real it's not a comprehensive list because she loves him so much. she loves him so so much!

the way she pretty much instantly decided the prison was safe and that she wanted to stay there because of rick. not just by understanding why he was mistrustful of her, but by seeing how he had built a legitimate family from the way he reunited with carol and thanked daryl for taking care of judith. it took her five minutes to clock him as a legitimate leader and has supported him ever since. so much so that in 7x12 she tells him, completely honestly, that he should lead all of the communities. she genuinely admires him, and thinks there is no one better or more capable than him (of course, that's not true: she is lol i'm always so ticked by how surprised she is when he asks her to lead with him in 7x12).

when she sees rick having hallucinations, instead of treating him like a wild animal that you should only approach slowly and carefully (like everyone else did) she sees herself in him and goes out of her way to make him feel better. if anything it actually makes her trust and understand him more. and she gets him to crack a joke and smile!

the fact that not only was she not angry, but told him she completely understood that he had to consider giving her up to the governor, who she *knows* is a psychopath. that SHE of all people was the one to empathize with him for having to make that choice? that is truly bonkers when you think about it. a level of loyalty and understanding and care that makes very little sense considering how they still barely knew each other then. but it ~*~must have been something else then~*~

the way she bursts into tears of joy and looks to the sky in thanks after finding carl and rick after the prison. you know she would have been glad to find anyone when she started following that trail but you could tell that those two are who she wanted to find more than anyone else. and the fact that doing so seemed to restore her faith? shut up???

after she finds rick and carl she asks him "is this home? or just a stop along the way?" she was willing to stay put and build a home with just him and carl without bothering to look for anyone else. as @glamaphonic said, she claims them right then and there. (btw i noticed that a similar conversation happened with carol and tyresse in The Grove, and also with sasha and abraham in...some later episode idk which one, but they're in an office building. i just thought it was interesting! i wonder if the carol/tyreese instance was a nod to the comics?)

rick thinks that killing a man with his throat is the worst thing he's ever done. certainly carl saw it as monstrous (as it made him think he was a monster too, for being too similar to rick) even daryl backed away from it. only michonne saw it for the heroic act it was and it made her fall in love with him. and she made him feel better too. again, she sees a kindred spirit in him as someone willing to do anything, including things most people would not do, to protect his child.

she is always ready to back him up and fight with him, as well as for him. the only time she disagrees with him is when she knows there is a better option for them, and even then she's gentle and supportive while she convinces him there's a better way (directing the group to alexandria, "i'm still with you", the fight against n*gan, the end of towl 1x04, probably more that i'm forgetting). she considers him her equal in every way, and considering how self-reliant michonne is, that says everything.

okay but seriously the EASIEST way to piss michonne off is to talk shit about rick, talk shit to rick, put your hands on rick, or even just look at rick in a way she doesn't like. she just starts yelling and/ swinging, which is hilarious because she's normally so collected.

on the other hand the only thing that makes michonne lose her shit completely and genuinely panic is if rick is legitimately in danger (the end of 6x09, the bridge)

if she thinks he's dead, she straight up just. stops. mid battle. just drops her weapon and stops. i'm almost glad we never got flashbacks to the time immediately after the bridge because it might have been too devastating to watch.

she never rejects him. even when they're at odds, she's still goes out of her way to show him she still supports him (5x16, their kiss in 7x08).

rick straight up would not have survived losing carl if he hadn't had michonne. she is so loving and patient and gentle with him even through her own grief it's incredible. she loves him SO much (and i have to point out, rick is the same for her. as devastating as carl's death is, watching them work through it together was beautiful).

she is always trying to ease his burden and be a legitimate partner to him. there are countless examples of this but the big one for me is how she considers n*gan her responsibility after season 8. rick made the call but she backed him and kept backing him even though everyone was against them, even when they both had doubts. she completely meant it when she said she wanted for them to make all of their decisions together and for once he's not completely alone as a leader.

speaking of the n*gan thing. michonne stands in maggie's way until maggie asks her what she would have done if it had been rick who had been butchered in front of her, if she could have just let that go. definitely, the answer was no. just like rick couldn't have if it had been michonne.

(because she can't live without him anymore than he can live without her).

she was flipping over dead walkers for months after the bridge and did not move on for over 6 years because she could *feel* he was still alive despite all evidence to the contrary and also simply because there was no one else she wanted. it's him or no one. just as it's her or no one for him. you can actually see her flinch a little toward the end of her kiss with ezekiel.

wearing his clothes and wrapping them around herself like a hug when she really really missed him

talking to him long after he was gone

setting off to find him on foot over nothing more than a hint that he was alive

all of the ones who live. like, that would honestly need its own post but do we even need it? that show dialed this love story up to like a twenty. she spent an entire episode saving him from himself. almost died trying to find him in the first place. jumped his ass out of a helicopter. her faith in him and them saves the entire world.

truly, her response to his proposal/vows is spot on: "it could only ever have been you." it was always him, it was only ever going to be him. it's him, or it's no one.

#richonne #for as long as this is idek if i really answered your question or if this is what you wanted anon i'm sorry lol #btw honorable mention: holding those nasty old boots to her face when she found them like my god woman that's real love i could never #oh also i suspect she just wasn't the marrying type before rick #i get the feeling mike asked and she said no fjdslafdl just a hunch/headcanon though!

[getvalentined]

Actually while I'm on it, I wanna talk about the dichotomy between Genesis and Angeal. I'm not censoring names in this one because I'm not worried about it being read as character bashing, but it's a topic that I think is super interesting but I never see discussed outside the perception that they represent the dichotomy of good versus evil.

The dichotomy between these two is not and has never been good versus evil. Angeal having a white wing or insisting that he's honorable does not make him good, particularly when his idea of "honor" includes never asking anyone for help and forcing people that love him to do horrific things so he doesn't have to keep living as he really is. Conversely, Genesis having a black wing and referring to himself as a monster doesn't make him evil, particularly when everything he does in the actual storyline is an attempt to save himself (and his men), or at least make sure that Shinra falls far enough that it can't do this to anyone else.

That said, Angeal and Genesis are on opposite sides, just not in the way you most people assume.

Angeal is all about appearances, expectations, worthiness. He's never let go in his life, he was brought up in a poor household where he was presumably heaped with expectations and responsibilities by parents who were unable to properly care for him, and this led him to developing some extremely rigid and maladaptive ideologies. His concept of "honor" is probably the biggest one; we can see how he picked this up from Gillian pretty clearly in how she refers to the Buster Sword, and how we know she continually turned down Shinra's hush money and then never told the truth anyway.

Angeal sees "honor" as doing everything yourself, forever, the exact way that you were told. "Honor" is working yourself to death, it's not admitting when you're in over your head, it's accepting the worst situations as necessary even if they could be changed with the participation or contribution of someone else. It's dishonorable to ask for help. It's dishonorable to stop when there's still work to do. It's dishonorable to be indebted to anyone, even if the process of paying off a debt will kill you. It's better to die than to be dishonorable. He is his mother's son in every way.

By contrast, Genesis is all about independence, equality, justice. We can also see this in what we know of his background—Genesis was the brilliant son of a wealthy family, he gave Banora global brand recognition, his work with Banora White juice literally changed the entire face of his homeland's economy forever. He did this on his own. He figured this out because he wanted to share something with someone he admired, and he knew that the only way to make it worth something was to do it himself. However, where Genesis is independent, he's more than capable of asking for help, and he does over and over through the course of the game. Independence isn't about cutting yourself off from your community, it's about doing things in the way that works best for you, regardless of others' opinions.

Genesis' biggest issue is his concept of "justice," because it wheels pretty often into vengeance. At the end of the day he has three goals: survive, get Sephiroth out of Shinra, and make sure that the company can never do to anyone else what it did to him. He tries to ensure this by carving his way through anyone he feels stands between him and those goals, because Shinra deserves what he's doing and anyone who thinks otherwise is unjust. He's not self-centered, per se, but he has no empathy for anyone he doesn't personally care about, and it makes him seem cruel in a way that is entirely unnecessary.

It's pretty clear by the end that he's not intentionally cruel, just like he probably doesn't lack empathy by choice—but he does clearly struggle with empathy, and he clearly doesn't understand why anyone is angry with him when he knows he's right. He tells the truth without understanding that not everyone wants it. He can't conceptualize why someone wouldn't want to know.

Genesis' biggest problem is that he can't tell the difference between justice that strengthens the world around him and the people under his care, and vengeance meant to pay back the people and institutions that led him here in the first place.

The dichotomy in Project G was never good versus evil, it's external validation versus internal validation. Angeal needs the world to see him as right, while Genesis needs the world to back off and allow him to do things the way he already "knows" is right. The majority of Genesis' story takes place in his own head, and it's a broken narrative for reasons unrelated to the literal rotting; he knows what he's doing, he's methodical and clear in his actions, and he doesn't understand why people that know the truth don't agree with him. Angeal's, meanwhile, takes place primarily through Zack's eyes, because the opinions of others are what matter to him, and if he can't figure out how to make those eyes see exactly what he wants then he can't bear to be seen at all.

Basically Genesis is autistic, Angeal has OCPD, and Shinra has no concept of mental health care. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#fandom ramble #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #project g #crisis core #crisis core reunion #CCFF7R

[linkspooky]

Same anon for the Gojo post - loved your reply and mostly agree. However, although I see his motivations similarly + think it will come to bite him v soon, I kinda sympathise with him as I feel it's the role his strength has pushed him into. Like yes, he has people that care for him but the power difference is so extreme that he has to stand alone even when he's literally melting his brain to keep up. imo Gege might want to show that that much power in one person is inherently not a good thing

Continuing the discussion from [this post] and [this response], I agree anon Gojo is in the end a product of the system that he hates so much. Perhaps that's why Gojo's attempt at rebellion against sorcerer society is so flawed, because in the end he is still the Golden Child of that same society. In traditional Golden Child fashion there's basically no thought paid to the hardships in Gojo's life and he's not really seen as a person outside of his ability as a sorcerer.

Gojo's entire character is a meditation on having unlimited strength, and the limitations that come with it. He even realizes pretty early that all the strength in the world doesn't mean he's always capable of doing whatever he wants, and that he'll be able to save everyone he wants to save. My friend justapanda made a meta on how Gojo's actually one of the most limited characters in the series because of the nature of his strengths. I can list off the similiarities between Sukuna and Gojo all day, but unlike Sukuna, Gojo for the most part uses his strength for the masses and sorcerer society as a whole.

It seems only natural that not only would having the strength to fight a small nation's army single handedly alienate you from your much weaker peers, but also carrying sorcerer society on your back and working alone would only further serve to distance you from others.

Not only does Gojo continually work alone, none of his fellow teachers or sorcerers have any idea who he is - like as a person. There's an extra in volume ten where a lot of the main cast is interviewed about Gojo and they all just say some variation of "he's the strongest".

None of them say anything personal. On top of that we know for a fact several of the people who work with Gojo, including Nanami say that they can't stand him as a person but respect him as a sorcerer.

There's a pretty simliar character in Tokyo Ghoul who occupies the same spot that Gojo does as "The Strongest". An unnatural talent that puts all the other investigators / fighters in the CCG to shame and someone so unshakably strong he has no compettitors and seems untouchable in battle.

On top of that he seems to have no life / role / friends outside of his job. There's even a similiar scene wher eone character tries to interview everyone else to learn more about him.

In a twist it's revealed that despite Arima being the strongest character in the story, with a genius and talent that many people envied was someone with little to no agency over their own life. They're a natural born fighter yes, but in this case that's literal. He's a born and bred child soldier and that's the only thing he was ever allowed to be.

He's a character born to fight and kill ghouls, and nothing else. Even though he's perfect at what he does, he hates his life, he hates that he was born only to kill and he wants out of it. To the point where he turns against the society that made him just like Gojo did, even if he's one of the most respected members of that same society.

However, even if Arima wants to destroy the society he's a part of he's too big of a cog in that machine that he can't really see himself living in the new world. As one of the old guard when he destroys the old society he plans on dying along with it, and that's exactly what he does. He's too much of a product of the society he came from to exist without it, or eevn imagine anything better, the most he can do is destroy the old and hope someone else will make something new.

Arima and Gojo are characters who are similiarly people with talent that would supposedly allow them to do anything in life, but are actually rather limited in their agency. They're both stuck in the role that they were born in.

I'd say the difference is that Arima is much more self aware than Gojo will ever be. Gojo knows that he's lonely, he knows that there's something wrong with the society around him and he wants to fix it, but I think despite the fact that he did come to the realization that strength won't save everyone he still uses strength as his go-to problem solver.

His solution to the child soldiers that Jujutsu Society makes and sacrifices is to just... make stronger child soldiers. He says his goal is to destroy things and shake them up but he's not really out for destruction he's just making a regime change and putting his people in charge instead. Gojo knows Jujutsu Society is wrong, but he can't quite decode the "might makes right" that's been programmed into his head.

Having put that much power and responsibility on Gojo's shoulders may have just permanently rewired his brain to where he can't see himself existing outside of his role or any life outside of one as the strongest sorcerer like Arima's own tragic existence. Arima at least is self-aware enough to know that he doesn't want this life though, whereas Gojo is still charging ahead being Gojo.

You mention Gojo is literally melting his brain fighting alone, and just this latest chapter Kashimo even says something along the lines of even if it saves Gojo's life or beats Sukuna don't inrevene in the fight because this is Gojo's fight. Gojo's pride at being the strongest, is apparently more important than his life or the grand scheme of things.

You know priorities, but it does make sense this is tragically the only thing Gojo has really to base his identity around. Arima can't imagine a life in the better world he wants to create, whereas Gojo only know sorcerer society values of strength.

It makes me wonder if we're going to get a similiar ending to Gojo as we are to Arima. The tragic nature of being the strongest and his role as the golden boy of sorcerery society has just made it so that he can't really imagine a better world than the one we have right now, even if he wants to change or shake up sorcer society he's just too entrneched in it.

Arima ends his life by committing suicide to help bring down the CCG, whereas I don't see Gojo committing suicide but it's possible that the same way Arima died to bring down the old society with him Gojo might similiarly die alongside Sukuna. As a way to show that the old way of being a sorcerer and prioritizing strength over everything else is dying as an ideal and Gojo's students are going to rise up and replace him with a new way of doing things.

Which would make Gojo's character tragic in the same way Arima's is. Someone who genuinely wants better for the world but is unable to grow and adapt in time and therefore can't survive in the new world they want to create.

#satoru gojo #jjk meta #sukuna ryomen #arima kishou

[olderthannetfic]

Reading for Context

I don’t really feel like scrolling through community profiles has taught me anything. People tend to just post normal tumblr posts and not tirades about shipping. I was told to just scroll OTNF go understand, but OTNF’s feed is just screenshots from a K-drama and idiots pestering him about pronouns for some reason. Is there like a specific way to do it? So… i’ve actually never understood the social conventions of other people in any group i’ve been in. I haven’t really had in real life friends since middle school.

This is actually kind of an interesting question.

First, let me be plain, what you've been asking repeatedly over the last couple of weeks or however long it's been is this:

How does a neurodivergent person who fundamentally is not good at social nuance, reading comprehension, and picking up on context get better at those things?

I've known people whose parents hired coaches to work with them on a weekly basis for years. "How does socializing work?" is not a simple question.

Teaching reading comprehension is hard too.

I vaguely remember a lot of times in school where English teachers spent whole semesters trying to get us to understand not only what figurative language meant in context but how to detect that it was present in the first place. I still remember this one 9th grade classmate wailing "But why does it have to be a metaphor?"

What you're asking about is something most people work on for decades, yet you want randos to summarize it simply in a few sentences.

--

The first thing that jumps out at me here is the superficiality of how you're describing engaging.

When people say to lurk, they're talking about a deep engagement with a community. They're talking about reading closely, including comments, for a month, not scrolling back through a week and just skimming the top-level posts.

Did you open the replies on my tumblr posts where other people besides me are discussing things? Did you look at the reblogs with content, and not just the ones I reblogged back onto my own tumblr?

Beyond the exact number of days you should read or the exact procedure, people are talking about a very in-depth kind of engagement in general. The point is that it's difficult to just come into a new space and know how it works without studying it.

For example, I talk about oldschool fanfic stuff a lot. A logical default assumption is that I'm a woman. Are you not familiar enough with fanfic spaces to assume that, or are you coming from Spacebattles or something?

Why on earth would you default to 'him'?

I'm not insulted: it just shows a staggering lack of clue about the context you found me in.

I've linked you to my patreon where you can see my pro writing pseudonym, which is obviously female. My tumblr itself links to my pro writing and gives my actual name, which is also fairly obviously feminine. I've also recently talked about being pregnant. Yes, it was oblique and I only confirmed it in the replies, not a top-level post, but plenty of regulars noticed. (Yes, yes, biology is not gender, but still...)

There are plenty of clues I'm not a "him", but you missed them all. I don't care about pronouns, but I do care about people who don't bother to or aren't capable of reading closely.

Quite a few people have sent me asks asking what I'm watching. I have repeatedly said that it's DMBJ and described it as "the Chinese tomb raider franchise". Yet you assumed it was Korean for some reason. This suggests that you just scrolled through quickly and did not actually thoroughly read the text of the posts or the replies. It suggests that your eyes skipped over the boring-looking short text posts in between the picspams.

It suggests you didn't bother to google what I was watching when I did say the name because you don't give enough of a shit to bother. That doesn't suggest a very high level of interest in my blog or any reason I should cut you any slack or pay attention to what you think.

It also suggests that you didn't look back all that far. I've been posting a lot about DMBJ, but I only started downloading Ultimate Note on July 15th and Tomb of the Sea on August 1st.

--

If you want to understand a community, scrolling hurriedly through one month of content and not actually reading it closely is insufficient.

This is what people mean when they say you're not willing to put in the work and want other people to do it for you.

[sirianasims]

Chapter 29

Just Like Fire

The year I turned 42 was also the year we lost my mother. My father soon followed her, just as he always had in life.

They had been inseparable through everything – demanding careers, the loss of my brother, all of my problems – for almost 45 years. And now, not even death could keep them apart for long.

I was shattered. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without Cecilia. I could only hope to get 45 years by her side as well.

I tried to keep it together for the girls who were also grieving.

Freya took it the hardest, of course.

She had known them for much longer than Grace, and had always been close with her grandparents. And she was already dealing with a lot.

At least something good came out of it. Samuel came over to comfort her, although things were a little awkward between them at first.

But their life-long friendship won in the end, and it actually seemed like they finally made up.

I don’t know if they ever discussed that fateful evening a few years ago, when he revealed his true feelings, but I was glad that she at least had the comfort of a friend.

Samuel always had a gift for cheering Freya up. It didn’t take long before he dramatically pretended to lose his balance, pushed her over and fell to the floor, flailing wildly, as they both laughed.

He would always do whatever it took to see her smile again.

I was happy that she had Samuel in her life. He was a good kid.

Very different from his older brother, Charlie. Whenever I felt challenged by my girls, I reminded myself that it could be much worse.

Charlie had been getting into all sorts of trouble for years, but it all came to a head a few months ago. He had been arrested at a rave while playing a gig with his band, and they found drugs on him.

Colten and Kailani had done their best, bailing him out and begging him to change before it was too late. But it was no use, Charlie had walked out in anger and they hadn’t heard from him since.

He hadn’t always been like that. Although he’d never exactly been the teacher’s pet, Charlie had still been a good big brother to Samuel, and he had often included Freya as well. Charlie and one of his band mates had even accompanied her to get her first tattoo when she turned 18, for moral support.

I was secretly relieved that Charlie wasn’t around anymore. I knew Freya had always found his odd-coloured eyes and rebellious attitude fascinating and I didn’t want her to get involved in whatever he was doing.

So compared to Colten and Kailani, I had it easy as a parent. But even though Freya was ridiculously talented, she still struggled with her self-worth. Confidence, she had. She knew exactly what she was capable of. But she was insecure when it came to other things, as if she couldn’t quite believe that people really liked her. She was popular among her team mates, but her only true friend seemed to be Samuel.

No matter what I did, Freya felt like the odd one out in the family. I tried to treat the girls the same, obviously allowing for the fact that Grace was only 9 and Freya had just turned 19, but it often felt like I couldn’t quite reach her.

She was, of course, under a lot of pressure. She had applied for several sports-related scholarships, and was constantly either training or studying.

Other parents with teenage girls mostly worried about stuff like drinking or going out with boys. Freya was extremely anti-alcohol – which was understandable, considering my past and the effect it had on her childhood. She also had some rather severe opinions on dating, it seemed.

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #duchelligen3 #eric duchelli #cora duchelli #zane fyres munch #cecilia bell #freya duchelli #Can I offer you a nice hug in this trying time? #its a terrible day for rain #charlie ward #caleb vatore #grace duchelli #samuel ward #kailani ward #colten ward

[fdelopera]

An Autistic Perspective on Moon Knight (or, Why Steven Grant is not the only autistic alter)

Sooo Moon Knight really hit me hard. Especially as an autistic person. It hit me so hard, in fact, that it’s brought me back from my Tumblr hiatus. (I haven’t posted since 2018? what???) It was euphoric for me to see an autistic character operate as a superhero within the MCU. Especially Steven. Though Marc and Jake are also autistic — we’ll get to that.

Steven Grant as the audience surrogate wasn’t written as autistic in Jeremy Slater’s original script for the series, but Oscar Isaac took one look at him and basically said, “I’ll relate to this guy more if he’s on the spectrum.” As an autistic person, I actually love that. This choice doesn’t feel exploitative to me, like Rain Man does, for instance; instead, it feels like I’m being seen. I found it meaningful hearing Oscar Isaac say that part of his way into figuring out this role was through delving into a character who happens to be on the spectrum.

I will say that at least to my eye, Oscar Isaac has created a reasonably authentic on-screen portrayal of an autistic character, at least compared to the typical overblown Sheldon Cooper-style of characterization. It is also amazing to see an autistic superhero who is capable, courageous, and strong, even in their most vulnerable moments. Too often, we are portrayed in media as being incapable of having agency within our own lives.

So, in the future, I want to rewatch Moon Knight and analyze the scenes that were particularly impactful for me from the perspective of autistic experience.

But for this post, I want to talk about autism within the context of trauma and mental health. There is an important distinction to be made between Autism Spectrum Disorder and DID in relation to this show, and I haven’t seen a lot of people discussing it in depth.

I am writing this analysis because I believe that an autistic perspective can add some context to certain crucial aspects of this show.

I also want to acknowledge that there is a high degree of co-occurrence between autism and dissociative conditions, including DID. The extreme and constant overwhelm caused by our autistic neurology can lead to dissociative coping mechanisms.

For example, in addition to being autistic, I also depersonalize and derealize, which stems from my sensory processing and social processing issues. Ever since childhood, I dissociate when my nervous system gets too jangled and I’m unable to process the chaos of the world around me.

If Steven Is Autistic, So Are Marc and Jake (and here's why):

I've been seeing a lot of people online celebrating Steven as an autistic character, as in, “Steven Grant is the MCU’s first canonically autistic superhero!” Now, don’t get me wrong, Steven totally is a well-portrayed autistic character; however, I haven’t seen very many people involving Marc and Jake within that discussion of on-screen portrayals of autism.

But if Steven is meant to be on the spectrum, Marc and Jake should be recognized as being on the spectrum as well.

To treat Steven as the only alter who is autistic can inadvertently raise the specter (pun intended) of a harmful and outdated theory on the cause of autism.

So, I want to address two questions: What does (and doesn’t) cause autism? And why are Marc and Jake also on the spectrum if Steven is?

1. Autism Is Epigenetic:

Autism is a genetically inherited neurological variation. It is epigenetic, meaning that there are both genetic and environmental factors that affect each individual’s experience of autism, but you can’t “become” autistic without the genetic factors being present. And if you do have the epigenetic makeup for autism, it is likely that you will have some degree of autistic experience. We still don’t know exactly what this epigenetic makeup is, and I for one hope that we never find out, because Autism $peaks is ready with pitchforks and a eugenics campaign to remove us from humanity as soon as this discovery is made.

Autism’s etiology is not trauma-based. In other words, traumatic experiences can’t “make” someone autistic. However, back in the 1940s, Freudian psychiatrists Bruno Bettelheim and Leo Kanner came up with the “refrigerator mother” theory of autism (they applied it to schizophrenia, as well). They believed that if a mother was neglectful or abusive towards a young child and withheld her love during a critical developmental period, she could cause her child to become autistic. They believed that autistic people could be “cured” of their autism with the right amount of psychoanalysis. These psychiatrists and their disciples subjected countless autistic people to this “treatment” (i.e., torture) for decades.

The "refrigerator mother" theory of autism (and schizophrenia) has since been disproven. The theory was finally rejected in the 1990s when studies of identical twins showed that autism has a high degree of heritability (current research shows that autism’s heritability may be as high as 90%). If you are autistic, the environment (i.e., the people, places, and things around you) will shape your experience of autism, but your environment alone can't “make” you autistic if you don’t have the genetic predisposition for it.

2. If a System Is Autistic, Each Alter Can Have a Unique Experience of Autism:

To frame all of this within the context of Moon Knight, Wendy Spector’s abuse couldn’t “cause” autism within Marc’s system. To put it more bluntly, trauma couldn’t “make” one alter autistic (i.e., Steven), while the rest of the system remained completely allistic.

I know that a lot of you know this; I’ve just seen some troubling posts about this online from people who are neither a system nor autistic, and I needed to say something. Steven isn’t “the MCU’s first canonically autistic superhero” — the system is.

If we describe Steven as autistic, it’s important to acknowledge Marc, Jake, and the other alters within the system as autistic, as well. They would each have their own unique experiences of autism.

Now, there is a whole other discussion to be had about whether the writers and directors of Moon Knight knew this (that’s a big topic for another time). However, my understanding from listening to Oscar Isaac’s interviews and watching his performance is that his intent was to portray the system as neurodivergent, and not just Steven.

As portrayed in the show, Steven seems to do the least amount of masking (i.e., learned behaviors that hide autistic traits in order to protect the individual from harm), which makes him “appear” more autistic to an outside observer.

Within Marc’s portrayal, he seems to have learned to mask more consistently (which would make sense, since he protects Steven physically), and so he behaves in a way that could be interpreted as more allistic. 

EDIT: On further re-watches of Moon Knight, while Marc often protects Steven physically, Steven is more of Marc’s emotional and spiritual protector, as I write about in this post. Marc is more of a trauma holder, and he may mask to keep people at bay to avoid further trauma.

As for Jake, it’s hard to tell his degree of masking, since we see him for only a few brief scenes. But extrapolating from his role as an physical and emotional protector in the system, it’s possible that he has learned to mask quite effectively, as well.

As we grow older, many of us autistics learn to mask quite convincingly, myself included. Masking is exhausting, and I hate it, but for me it is what is necessary to have a job. A few people that I work with know that I’m autistic, but most don’t, and I’m careful about who I tell. It also helps that I run my own business, and so I have some say in the clients that I choose to work with.

In the future, I want to talk about scenes from the series that spoke to me as an autistc person, and I'll include Steven, Marc, and Jake in that analysis. There are so many moments where Oscar Isaac makes character choices that resonate with me from an autistic perspective. But that’s for another time. Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. :P

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #oscar isaac #moon knight thoughts #i clearly have a lot of thoughts about this #ive been seeing some discourse online and i had to say something #this show just means a lot to me #and I want people to recognize marc and jake as autistic because they deserve to be seen #steven is still my fave because he is like the unmasked me i wish i could be all the time #but i have become more like marc as ive gotten older

[chickindinner]

I strongly believe that when Argyle interrupted Mike and El in this scene, Mike wasn’t going to tell El that he loves her (and actually mean it). I think that either 1. Mike was gonna tell El that he cares for her and that he’s not sure if he loves her in the way she wants him to or 2. He was going to say that he loves her without actually meaning it. El’s expression changed as soon as Mike mentioned their fight. I don’t think El was expecting Mike to say he loves her either. She looked pretty sad. I feel like if Mike were to say i love you in this scene, El wouldn’t believe him. She looks like she’s lost all hope.

Even here, I’m pretty sure that El thought that Mike was lying. She didn’t smile, instead she started crying. I think this was because as much as she wanted to believe what Mike was saying, she knew that he was only doing it to save her. Mike is a good writer, so he made the monologue sound all romantic and encouraging, but it was still very forced. Eleven could tell that he didn’t mean it. Mike’s confession wasn’t what gave El the power to fight, It was Max. If anything, I’m sure the love confession slowed her down. She didn’t need Mike to say those things.

In this scene, Eleven told Papa that she figured herself out. She told him that she knows that he’s the monster, not her. The purpose of the whole project was for Eleven to find her powers and strength again, which she did. If after all of that, Mike’s confession was the reason why Eleven managed to fight Vecna, then this was all pointless. Eleven’s best friend, Max, someone who encouraged her to be herself and told her that she doesn’t need other people’s validation, was being killed. There is no way that Mike saying “I love you” was the reason why El managed to break through.

In this scene, Will asked Mike if El had talked to him at all. This was two days after the confession. Mike said “not much”. He was clearly confused as to why. He thinks he did everything right. He told El he loved her, so everything’s supposed to be good now, right? If El didn’t speak to him much, that means that they didn’t talk about the confession at all. They had two days to talk about it. This leads me to believe that El doesn’t believe him. She can tell that Mike didn’t mean what he said, because it didn’t sound like him at all. She probably distanced herself from him a bit, trying to figure things out. I think that El isn’t that worried about the whole situation. She probably didn’t feel the need to discuss their relationship, because she had already realized that Mike didn’t love her when she got taken away by the cops. Max was her main focus. She was mostly worried about what would happen to her.

In the ending scene, El stands alone while looking at almost-burnt-to-a-crisp Hawkins. I think this is a really badass scene. El looks like she’s ready to fight. She looks so angry and confident. She’s standing far away from the others, including Mike, meaning that she’s finally taking Max’s advice. She doesn’t need to depend on others to give her strength. She knows who she is, what she’s capable of and she’s ready to end Vecna, no matter what it takes. (Also, Will and Mike are standing together. So are Jancy and Jopper, two canon ships. I’m assuming that this is how season 5 is gonna go. Eleven is gonna be single. She’s gonna realize that she doesn’t need anyone but herself and that she deserves better. Nancy is gonna be with Jonathan, Hopper is going to be with Joyce and Mike is going to end up with Will.)

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #byler better be canon #mike wheeler is not straight #byler endgame

[catflowerqueen]

I think today’s LAES episode really highlights how little Earth—and, to a lesser extent, New Moon—actually do know about Old Moon. Which makes sense, but is also really, really sad.

(possibly controversial rant/analysis below)

I don’t agree with Earth’s assertion that Sun should talk with Old Moon, especially after hearing what New Moon said about what Old Moon might face as a consequence of that conversation… but a lot of that comes down to the fact that we, as the audience, know exactly how much trauma and outright mental torture Old Moon would be facing if he were more consciously aware day to day what was going on. Being bodiless again, with no autonomy? That was at least half, if not more, of why the first October takeover was so terrifying. That entire experience before he and Sun separated goes a long way to explaining why he acted the way he did, in addition to the fact that he had a killcode impairing his rationality.

It doesn’t excuse the trauma he caused Sun, no, nor does it excuse a lot of his more questionable actions after separating… but I don’t think it is right to force whatever still exists of Old Moon into a situation that has a high possibility of lighting that trauma right back up again—both for his own sake, and because of the consequences it might have on New Moon. Like, possibly, reigniting some remnant of a killcode and making him go insane. The same way Old Moon was starting to before KC asserted himself as his own individual AI.

And on the note of KC… That entire bit of the discussion was just piling more undeserved blame for the current situation on Old Moon’s shoulders. Old Moon was not in any way responsible for the creation of Bloodmoon or KC. Eclipse made Bloodmoon—and Lunar!—and KC just evolved from bits of coding the same way Eclipse did by combing the killcode left in Sun with Sun’s own code. If anything, Lunar is more to blame for the Bloodmoon situation since they are the ones who convinced Monty to build them that first body to replace the much weaker one, and then did nothing to curb or help their antics in the lead up to that first Eclipse confrontation. And KC having Moon and his own changing morality as an example is likely a big part of why KC was able to reform.

Not to mention the fact that at one time Golden Freddy was considering asking Moon to take over more of a protective role for their universe akin to what he does when Regular Freddy admitted to not wanting to take over for his dad.

As to the current situation… so many things about it are due to extra-dimensional people and occurrences that have nothing to do with our dimension’s interference beyond the fact that they rebuilt the portal after it exploded the first time and happen to live in a world in which a Creator also exists. It seemed to me, after all, that Ruin basically just picked their world at random to make his headquarters, since I’m pretty sure that neither New nor Old Moon had his dimension on their radars until he literally showed up one day and punched New Moon in the face before fleeing. And they all admitted that Stitchwraith’s entire existence had nothing to do with the Daycare group as a whole—Old Moon included—aside from the fact that most of them happened to be made by the same Creator.

There is also the fact that they are basically ignoring the villains’ own autonomy and ability to make decisions and bad choices. Like. Solar is proof that Eclipses are actually perfectly capable of being rational and even kind. Sure, it might come down a bit to exact ratios and timing as far as killcode involvement goes… but even in our own universe, Moon immediately offered to help Eclipse once he was aware of his existence, and Eclipse turned him down. And then kept turning down subsequent offers. And then kept choosing revenge when he managed to resurrect himself. (Beyond what is happening with the current Eclipse’s situation, since that is a whole different can of worms and involves a lot of outside influence and machinations)

And, like… I get why New Moon pushes off blame like this, since he definitely inherited Old Moon’s self-loathing tendencies, and I get why Earth is saying the things she is because, again, she admits to not having known Old Moon personally and only has stories to go off of… but those stories don’t really have the chance for her to view them objectively given that all the storytellers involved all have trauma relating to the subject at hand—namely, Old Moon himself.

…On the note of New Moon thinking it is strange Old Moon knew about Earth’s existence, part of might just be, as he said, that Old Moon has access to current events via New Moon’s mind while they are more connected and talking, but I think New Moon might also forget/simply not be aware of the fact that the Creator actually did inform Sun—who immediately told Old Moon—about her existence and then she basically just got lost in a flower field and didn’t actually show up until the whole KC and Old Moon getting trapped in his mind and having to choose to sacrifice himself thing was in the middle of going down.

It just… makes me sad. I get it, but… I just wish they would take more nuance into account. That they wouldn’t just reject all the good things Old Moon did in favor of the bad. That they don’t have other morally questionable characters—namely Monty and Lunar—give him more of a defense.

Lunar literally lived in his head and admitted he wasn’t as bad as he’d originally thought and, at one point, offered to stay with him and be his “happy” to help him… and yet never brings that up. Never admits that Moon was the first of their siblings to really accept them and genuinely call them “brother” and give them a home. And maybe that’s just out of their own grief—their guilt at running away and never getting to say goodbye, their possible anger at being “left behind,” their own trauma from dying at pretty much the same time—but it still… it still hurts.

…And its still extremely unclear to me if anyone outside the Daycare has even noticed Old Moon is gone. (Beyond whatever situation Roxanne had/has going on where her memory got messed with and at least partially reset, that is. That at least would make sense if she didn’t know or had otherwise forgotten the particulars of Moon’s situation).

Anyways. On a happier note, Jack’s shenanigans today were fun. It was nice to see him mess around and get to just play happily and enjoy himself the way he was.

#SAMS #LAES #sun and moon show #lunar and ea

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hello! Any thoughts about the info we got about Jungkook’s album? The name? Album art? Concept pics? Seven and 3D being included?

Hello! To be honest, I haven't said anything each time something new was announced because it didn't really pick my interest in a way that made me rush here to share my thoughts.

I think it's because it doesn't intrigue me and that might just be because of personal taste. It's not because the concept would lack substance or something meaningful. Perhaps it's not really something I might be interested in so far.

The color scheme is interesting for an album, I'll give him that. I did think the schedule program looked like a supposed fancy menu which I don't know if it was the intended desire. The font design and the colors do make me think of Kingsman and this sort of manufactured elegance.

As to the concept photos, I see a coherent vision that connects multiple facets of Jungkook. It's an idea that I like, in theory. SHINE shows his public persona, the one in front of the cameras, the BTS singer/solo artist; SOLID is hinting at things in his life that might keep him grounded, something that balances the shine; and lastly SUBSTANCE, an inner self, values, what is Jungkook underneath all and what is important for him. Having it all laid out like that, it sounds like the premise of something that might turn out really good. Jungkook played around with a similar hybrid concept for My Time, paired with a very good performance and stage production. At that time, it made me excited for what else he is capable of doing if only he gets the chance. I'm still waiting for that.

His first two releases as a soloist, both collabs, have been a letdown for me in terms of musical production, repetitiveness of themes, and a lack of actual commitment. PPTM wrote a bit about 3D and how the song turns sex into something almost clinical and how there's an attempt at trying to look like a player and ultimately failing. That made me think about how Jungkook started his solo career by using songs written by white men in their 30s or 40s who are also trying to emulate players, but they're not and it's somehow obvious. You either have it or you look ridiculous and people clock you. Not only that, there's a stark difference between the sexual tone of the songs which are both explicit (with or without using the word fuck) and the way in which Jungkook talks about them in promotional content. He tends to use words like romantic, the person you love, with whom you want to be close to, instead of actually telling it like it is. He sings the lyrics, but he won't use the accurate language when discussing the song. He is sanitizing them. His brief explanation about how the explicit version is not dirty was a good step in the right direction, but not enough. If he wants to sing about sex, perfect. But he should fully embrace it, otherwise it is just a way in which he merely plays a role. Is that the intention? For two songs?

It's difficult not to consider them as setting the tone for his album. It is music he has put out and which will be on the actual album. It's not a blip on a radar or something like Savage Love that gets done and then no one will think about it in 2 weeks.

Seven and 3D do say some things about him, but not enough to consider him interesting enough as a solo artist. If he brances out and puts out a more thematically diverse album or something conceptual or one that is cohesive because it centers around themes about him or he's gonna choose a storytelling path, then it would make me truly want to give it a chance.

#m thoughts #jungkook #jungkook golden

[vampirologist]

i mean i love spike but i’m obsessed with your metas and agree with most of your criticism of him

i see him as a stupid little guy who is shitty about being evil and shitty about being good but someone who doesn’t have those huge expectations that everyone has of buffy in those later seasons.

he’s an idiot who becomes obsessed with women who hate him consistently throughout his life/unlife and loads of spike lovers kinda ignore that this trait is a flaw that he is punished repeatedly

i think your deep understanding of angel actually makes you well equiped to discuss spike cause they’re so connected characterisation wise, like spikes constructed identity is a reflection of angelus you know

anyways, it sucks that people that like spike don’t understand that you’re not attacking him when you critique, literally every character in buffy deserves critical analysis cause they’re all more than what we like about them

WELL SEE I DO LIKE SPIKE IS THE THING! I just think he’s overrated and gets made into someone by fans when he isn’t textually like that. and it’s not even just on here I feel an issue ppl have with me is that I mention fan interpretation and they get stung bc that includes them when I take in consideration what I’ve seen on other sites like youtube. then angel gets flattened which frustrates me as he’s textually so so interesting if you actually look at his character. in fact I’ll see people attribute the positives of angel onto spike, and the negatives of spike onto angel. an example is angel was cursed to be good whereas spike fought to be good. it’s in fact textually SWAPPED as being ensouled does not equate to goodness (see literally any human villains) and angel sought out darla after getting ensouled- he wanted to try to get back to the life he knew but ultimately he couldn’t and was rejected. he had a pessimistic view of humans and did not really associate with them until whistler gave him the chance of having a positive and meaningful purpose of existence through assisting buffy. yes the ensoulment was a punishment but his life afterwards was filled with choices. which the voiceover by whistler in “becoming” emphasize this point. spike on the other hand had a chip implanted in his head that he had to adapt to. he begrudgingly assisted the scoobies because demon fighting helped scratch his itch to fight that was restricted because he couldn’t harm humans unless it caused him a great deal of pain. it’s practically a shock collar. furthermore, he was able to get blood and money from them as he no longer could feed from humans. and obviously this whole chip plotline was a justification for spike being on the show to fill in the space left by angel and cordelia. and then an instance of spike’s flaws being used against angel is I’ve seen people say the line wishverse buffy says to angel about wanting to get in her pants is so true when it’s like…. yeah angel was attracted to buffy but he repeatedly was like “we shouldn’t do this.” though he does goes along with it instead of stopping, they reciprocated their desire and buffy herself would initiate things (such as the first time they have sex in “surprise”, the kisses in “forever” and “end of days”/“chosen”!). and they literally only had sex once (sans “IWRY”) and he leaves her as he knows that they aren’t good for each other. you could argue it I guess bc of the angelus arc and taking her innocence, but to me that was using angel’s soul predicament and the current tropes he fell into and making them into relevant real life analogies (older sweet guy becomes a douche after having sex with you), complicating their dynamic instead of having them as the couple the show was seemingly heading towards and fans wanting- now there’s tragedy and trauma that effects them for the rest of their shows. it also made angel a more interesting character as I see angelus as the worst of humanity and then we see angel trying to be good despite the fact he has these capabilities and desires. whereas spike used buffy and her partners and sex life as a means of goading them (buffy, angel, riley) into getting upset. spike fantasized about buffy and sex to the point he had a sex robot made of her. and when they have their sexual relationship in s6, he further makes her feel dark and wrong for it by mentioning how her friends would be upset with her and insinuating she wanted it even when she would verbally say no (“dead things”). angel has his redemptive journey influenced by buffy, but I don’t think there’s necessarily the need to impress or win her over in the way spike did (like in “crush”). I would argue that’s trying to get into her pants lol

and yes exactly! spike is similar to xander or the trio regarding his approaches to women and really it’s not acknowledged much by spike fans imo he gets very very romanticized when he acts a lot like what we call now an incel but he gets pass because he’s charismatic, attractive, and a bad boy. but he has entitlement and a tendency of propping women he likes onto a pedestal, and blames them for him being rejected without being introspective (until it comes to buffy later on when he realizes that he has to get a soul like angel in order to be actually respected or loved by her). though I do also view spike as a foil of angel so obviously they have different approaches to things. that’s the point. they’re the same but they’re not type of deal.

sorry this message was very long but I appreciate this ask <3 I like to be reminded that people appreciate my takes and think I’m insightful instead of an asshole

#ask #anon

[tiffanylamps]

🔥🔥🔥🔥 of course, some beyond evil hot takes 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but also, what is some controversial opinion that you have about something entirely mundane :^0

ask me ask me ask me baby (Disclaimer: I started writing this, then had dinner, watched an episode of Bros on Foot, then had a shower and now I'm pretty exhausted (thanks rona + bad health). So my answers may seem a lil disorganised... they most likely are) Oh, gosh. I don't think I have that many opinions that are actually controversial when discussing be. But I shall still give it a go. I going to put a break here 'cause I really didn't know when to shut up. Also, sorry Iva but I feel like my answers are things we've already spoken about. So, I don't think any of this is new information to you 😩 TL;DR: Dong Sik and Joo Won shouldn't be represented by one aspect of their character. They're more complicated than that. (Including a mundane opinion at the end) (please excuse any weird funny business in this post (writing, grammar, spelling, clarity), we're trying our best here at Lamps HQ)

i. We as a fandom baby Dong Sik too much. I love Dong Sik. I adore him. He has seen and experienced far too many traumas, and I want nothing but good things for him in his future. What happened to him and his family when he was 20 was a tragedy that could have been avoided if the system (which should be in place to aid victims) wasn't systemically corrupt. He was beaten by police officers whilst in custody. He was framed and belittled, degraded, and humiliated. (the trauma he experienced is so layered and would take a lifetime for him to unpack and get closure from).

It almost completely ruined his life and future prospects, and it would have been done if Nam Sang Bae hadn't come in with his lvl 100 guilt and tried to make up for his actions. Dong Sik tried to make the best out of the awful circumstances that befell him and I sincerely admire him. Not everyone is as kind and loving as Dong Sik.... But but but... Buuuuut that doesn't absolve him of his actions. He murdered someone with his bare hands and allowed the system that was once put against him to be used in his favour.

Police officers shouldn't be murdering civilians. full stop. Yes, he was emotionally compromised- technically it could be seen as self-defence, but an unconvicted man, a suspect, was murdered and Dong Sik didn't face repercussions. Nam Sang Bae skewed the evidence so Dong Sik didn't get into trouble. Dong Sik took a year (?) off work after that event and to "help" him recover, Sang Bae got Dong Sik transferred to his substation (which Sang Bae had been demoted to as a result of one of his rookies dying on the job. Although, it wasn't deemed much of a punishment considering he was so close to retiring anyway). All the while, Dong Sik feels justified for his actions (as he did when he moved Min Jeong's fingers). (Screenshots from the translated script book/author's notes doc)

I think it's best that when discussing and exploring Dong Sik's character, we remember that he is a man capable of murder. He is a murderer. (Do I blame him for what he did? No, not really. I can see why he did it. Objectively, I fucking love it for the narrative lol). But yeah, he isn't a guiltless sweet baby angel who never did anything wrong in his life. (DISCLAIMER: obviously jokes are just jokes. I love them and I never want them to stop. I am super guilty of participating in this line of joking and I'm not about to stop any time soon. But when discussing DS in serious conversations, we shouldn't erase his history. By doing that, we are devoiding him of agency and retribution (which is one of the main arcs/themes of his character development)).

ii. Joo Won is autistic and people need to stop calling him stupid. I will die on this hill, I don't care. I fully encourage everyone to bully Joo Won, because, well, he fucking deserves it. I know that bullying him is a hilarious love language the fandom has developed and I fully participate in this pastime. I honestly love it. Yes, he has done a lot wrong and shouldn't be absolved of his sins (that being said, we should allow him the space to learn and grow. We should learn to forgive whilst still keeping him and ourselves in check). But where I draw the line is when people outright laugh at his characteristics/actions which are derived from the fact that Joo Won is coded as autistic.

I know not everyone is going to be particularly versed in neurodivergent symptoms and that is completely fine. I even didn't fully clock Joo Won being autistic the first time I watched the show- I "labelled" his actions as a result of one) his obscenely privileged upbringing and two) the fact that he (imo) has some degree of OCD (which is a type of anxiety disorder). Then it hit me one day that he is soooo autistic. A few examples (I'm too ill to list each one or go into full detail): 1- People say that he's a bad detective. Which, ugh. 2- That he should have seen the "obvious" signs that Dong Sik wasn't the killer earlier. This sentiment completely ignores the timeline of the show and the fact that the viewer is provided information that Joo Won doesn't have access to. And it also removes Dong Sik's accountability for being purposely obtuse and antagonistic. 3- the whole (very minor) narrative that joo won is lame because he has terrible people skills (or something along those lines, I can't quite remember the tags I read as it was a while ago). This one, in particular, ties in with Joo Won's autism coding. With a (relatively sound) understanding of what autism looks like in male adults, to me, it would seem that a lot of what Joo Won does (speaking bluntly, getting easily confused when provided a lot of information during an intense situation, overwhelm, struggling to gauge people's emotions/tone, being very black and white, hyper focussing on a topic of interest, struggling to adapt to new social environments, masking, issues with food and sensory stimulation, etc) can be credited to autism. Perhaps I'm connecting dots that don't exist and am projecting an ideal onto his character, but as someone who grew up with multiple friends and family members who are neurodiverse (and is neurodiverse myself), I can see so many similarities between Joo Won's actions, thought processes, and mannerisms to that of a person with autism.

^ (credit) here is an overview of some characteristics of autism in adults (obviously, it's a complex topic which differs from person to person. But I can definitely connect many of these examples to joo won's character and actions). [I feel like I could say a lot more about this subject, but it would be distracting away from the original point. I have thoughts on Joo Won masking and how he struggles to mask around Dong Sik]

How does this relate to Joo Won being "stupid"? One may ask. I will try to explain it as best I can (even though I don't fully have my answer planned out). Labelling Joo Won as stupid, as a stuck-up nepo baby who did nothing for the storyline, or just a useless dolt that needed Dong Sik to spoon-feed him, completely misconstrues the source material. Joo Won is intelligent, hard-working, determined, stubborn, foolish, annoying, pompous, proud, narrow-minded, snobby, short-sighted, dedicated, loyal, loving, persistent, and perceptible to change (and even more than that). We wouldn't have a story if Joo Won was stupid. We wouldn't have a conclusion if Joo Won was stupid. Downplaying Joo Won's intelligence and chalking up his characteristics as something that makes him less-than does a complete disservice to his character as well as his importance within the story. Beyond Evil is a story with TWO leads. It's not the Dong Sik show. I can NEVER subscribe to the act of bringing one character down in order to hold another up. Dong Sik is not this all-seeing, all-knowing, flawless character. If he was, he would have never been framed for murder, he wouldn't have been stuck for 20 years, and he wouldn't have needed help in uncovering the truth. He needed Joo Won (and Ji Hwa, Jae Yi, Jung Je, Ji Hoon, Du Soo, Sang Bae, etc). Without Joo Won, he may have never found out the full truth of what happened to his sister (as how many people in his life had a part to play in the traumas he faced). So, I think it's about time that people start to recognise Joo Won as a neurodivergent character (and stop giving him a hard time for not seeing signs that WE were given), as well as stop downplaying him. Kim Soo Jin, Sim Na Yeon, and Yeo Jin Goo created such a multi-dimensional, complex, flawed character with good and bad qualities, it does a disservice to their creativity and hard work when one belittles Joo Won down to one descriptor. Dong Sik and Joo Won aren't just the idiot and the downtrodden. They're more than that and fan interpretation shouldn't rewrite the facts of the show.

Anyway... there's a point in there somewhere... I think... I have no idea if I managed to construct a reply that makes sense. I don't think I fully relayed all my thoughts on this particular matter, but we live. tbh, I feel very icky when an autistic character gets labelled as stupid or useless. It gets on my nerves and if it wasn't obvious, I am pretty protective of Joo Won (maybe I shouldn't be, but... well... here we are!). Also, as a note: I don't expect anyone to agree with my opinion that Joo Won is autistic. But yeah, I was going to include more "controversial" opinions for be, but I have already said way too much. This post reads like a rant - which it probably is - and I don't want it to ruffle anyone's feathers. It's not an attack, it's just my opinion.

As for the mundane opinion: iii. kiwis are the scum of the fruit world. They're nasty and a lot of effort to eat (considering they don't taste great), and their texture is gross. But I do think their furry shell is pretty neat, even if it makes my skin cruel. (idk why this was the first thing that came to mind lol)

(sorry Iva. Maybe one day I will learn how to give short answers😂🫣)

#ask answered #ask game #chatty lamps #thank you <3 #beyond evil #i'm ill and yet I manage to write this beast of a post. this is what this show has done to me. i just can't help myself 😂 #i do have more opinions for be that are less intense and a lot more fun but... i guess i wanted to have a bitch and moan #as a pre-emptive warning: #rn i will not be taking constructive criticisms. maybe in the future. but right now??? I'm trying not to be miserable #soooo if anyone thinks i suck for what i wrote then... 🤷‍♀️ idk... maybe keep it to yourself

[docholligay]

Ep 4: Misty

Hello! This is about up to Episode 4 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 4 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the fourth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

I feel like every time I watch this show and specifically every time I watch Misty, all I can say is “Holy shit, oh my god” and though it is not very interesting, it is always right. I laughed ALOUD at the “do people write notes…before they’re murdered, or is that more of a suicide thing?” I have never identified with Misty more even though I would not be surprised if in fact Misty did kill Travis. Why? I mean, at this point I’d be satisfied with “for the same fucking reason she pulled Nat’s starter” to bring her closer

Which is sort of a tangential segue into what I wanted to talk about with Misty and her being a CNA. I am so embarrassed I didn’t see this before, but it’s just a natural outgrowth of her desire for people to NEED her, to be placed in a position where she’s the one who can help. But she couldn’t hack it as a nurse, I guess, or the schooling, so here she is, and it’s not at all what she imagined, it’s bringing jello to old people. 

This is another reason why it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Misty were at the heart of a lot of this. It’s getting the band back together! It’s reconsturcting a part of Misty’s life that, so far, we’re shown is some of the happiest she’s ever been, because she is useful, and in groups like this, she can’t be on the outs. She can be teased, but even when they tease her about wanting to give a sponge bath to Coach Ben, she is more a part of this group than she has been before. She is more a poart of SOMETHING. 

So, even to the extreme negative, I absofuckinglutely think Misty is capable of this shit, and quite willing to engage in it--we see how she has access to people who can hack email, she can track people down, and she knows enough about being caught to know how NOT to be caught. 

So where do we think her obsession with coach Ben is going? I mean, TIMES ARE TOUGH, we’re out here with exactly two guys and a lot of women who so far assume they dig on dudes and also are swelling with hormones. But I think Misty was latched onto him long before we ever boarded that plane. His leg has made him rely on her, and that reliance feels like love to her, I think, even if there is no way in heaven or hell Ben would be interested. 

Fucking tailing Nat after Nat tells her the plans are none of her business, Jesus Christ, Misty, and it’s just another example of how Misty doesn’t understand why no one likes her and why she can’t have friends. Nat is no fucking peach, and I’m the first to say that, but Misty either has no actual idea about appropriate ways to act, or doesn’t care. And really, I think it’s a little of both, i think Misty has somehow talked herself into the idea that she alone, bullied and beleaguered, has the right to act however she wants because she’s HELPING. When she stalks Nat, she sees it as HELPING, she talks herself into the fact that she is looking out for her, she ‘has her back’ this isn’t creepy, it’s helpful. I think to a very large extent, she buys her own bullshit on this. 

It’s pathetic as fuck, but Nat is the closest thing she has to a friend. It’s such a perfect moment when the gal that she takes out as a cover (brilliant, by the way, I laughed. Great touch.) tells her that she reminds her of her granddaughter and “no one really likes her either” 

The show is working with Misty in such a way that it wants to show us how a person can be lonely and unliked and to what extent do we allow ourselves to feel like they have it coming?

#Doc watches Yellowjackets #yellowjackets S1 E4

[horizon-verizon]

What do you think of this post:

https://at.tumblr.com/bbygirl-aemond/when-villainizing-alicent-backfires-or-how/onaosayifzd6

I agree that Rhaenyra is smarter than people think, but I think that post sort of excuses how cruel Alicent was to order Rhaenyra’s baby brought to her. Also, two things can be true at the same time. Rhaenyra did ruin Alicent’s plan but she also really didn’t trust Alicent with her child because Alicent had been spreading rumors about Rhaenyra’s kids for years. Rhaenyra looked uncomfortable when Alicent took the baby from Viserys when they were in Alicent’s bedroom. She literally turned her head towards her with a worried and tense expression her face. What do you think?

A)

I agree with your points and I agree with the writer in that Rhaenyra was attempting and succeeding in making Alicent look horrible/worse by going with her son herself -- her "malicious compliance".

When OP says:

So many people claim that Rhaenyra was only acting here out of fear for her children, which does succeed in making Alicent look bad, but misses the genius of what Rhaenyra's actually doing.

AND

Rhaenyra does not go with Joffrey because she genuinely thinks Alicent will physically hurt him. At this point in time, pre-Driftmark, Alicent has literally never done anything to suggest she would physically harm a child, let alone a newborn. Stop acting like Alicent was planning on smothering him with a pillow or something equally ridiculous. It's not in Alicent's character (she's quite passive when it comes to violence), and Rhaenyra also doesn't have any information to suggest this.

I think they are not saying that Rhaenyra has no real fear of Alicent, but that the fear isn't in Alicent actually harming the infant. I however agree that OP doesn't acknowledge that the fear is there (however well-managed or "small") and that the fear is from Alicent targeting her children in the first place.

But to give the benefit of the doubt, I think that just from what I saw in the post, the point of the post was to explain the political maneuvering both women did rather than the emotional inspiration for doing those moves. To just talk about how politically capable Rhaenyra is against the "politically stupid" allegations. This could go either way reducing Alicent's evil and Rhaenyra's justifications to plot against Alicent or making people finally notice and acknowledge Rhaenyra's ability to critically think and come up with strategies sooner rather than later.

Depends on which direction the writer goes with their language, and OP only wants to discuss the maneuvering while also telling us that Alicent purposefully targeted Rhaenyra in that episode. It's enough to assume OP is advocating for Rhaenyra and her feelings, but, again, is deciding on focusing on her political brain. OP seems to acknowledge how cruel Alicent was being: "Alicent wanted Rhaenyra to come away from this looking like a shameful harlot" AND "Alicent was trying to make a power play here; she was trying to rub it in the court's faces that Rhaenyra was repeatedly having children via an affair."

However, it would make OP's post stronger if they mentioned the context since it reveals how Rhaenyra would have done many things like this during the 10 years in the jump cut. That's my criticism.

B)

Funny enough, I also read the scene in which OP says it. It makes sense especially with Rhaenyra making Viserys focus more on treachery in the 7th episode -- episode 6 lets us know, you know? I also like how the writer includes the fact that Rhaenyra took Laenor with her to make that image of her sons' legitimacy, making that image of unity against Alicent's trying to make Rhaenyra seem like a disobedient, unfit heir/unruly woman.

Excerpt from OP's post:

Alicent wanted Rhaenyra to come away from this looking like a shameful harlot, but Rhaenyra turned the tables and came away from this seeming like a hero and a dutiful stepdaughter who bravely endured the pain Alicent forced on her, while simultaneously making Alicent seem evil and unreasonable. This is a calculated political move to shift blame onto Alicent and to paint her as crazy. And from the reactions we get as Rhaenyra walks to and from Alicent's chambers, I think she succeeds.

There's one other example where I think Rhaenyra plays the game of politics against Alicent and wins, and where a lot of fans ignore Rhaenyra's intelligence in favor of trying to make Alicent look as bad as possible. It's the scene where Rhaenyra suggests the betrothal of Jacaerys and Helaena, which I'll talk about eventually since I got an ask about it. But basically: Rhaenyra made a proposal that she knew would look good on the surface but that she knew Alicent couldn't accept without endangering her children, ensuring that when Alicent turned it down she would look bitter and crazy.

And we see it here (the script):

Lord Caswell: (on the stairs) Princess, Ser Laenor, it is a privilege to be amongst the first to congratulate you.

Rhaenyra: Thank you, Lord Caswell.

Lord Caswell: If I may be of any service...

Rhaenyra: The day may yet come, my lord.

[...]

Alicent: Princess. Rhaenyra! You should be resting after your labors. Rhaenyra: I have no doubt that you would prefer that, Your Grace. Alicent: You must sit. Talya, fetch a cushion for the Princess. Rhaenyra: There's no need. Alicent: Nonsense. We'll finish this later.

Rhaenyra is openly suggesting Alicent is trying something now and will try something in the future.

She, of course, looked more than "uncomfortable" and there's a specific context for why. She's lived with Alicent on her case for 10 years.

@theroguewyrm says it HERE:

no, but she demanded a fragile, freshly out of the womb-newborn to be brought to her IMMEDIATELY knowing that 1. newborns are extremely vulnerable to germs and shouldn’t get exposed for at least 1-2 days and 2. demanded to separate a mother from her child RIGHT AFTER giving birth.

While these people would not know about germs, they would know that newborns are fragile, especially knowing and experiencing infant mortality. We have Alysanne, Alyssa Velaryon, and Aemma Arryn alone to refer to. Alicent was a terrible person for that. In another post, I say similarly:

Why publicly order for the freshly-born infant in front of the entire court if not to publicly and tacitly announce that you think something is wrong with that infant? Alicent – a mother herself – is well aware of how worried, anxious, and attached a mother can get to her infant after birth and she still decides to do what she does…and it’s clear that it’s happened before, so was she actually surprised that Rhaenyra came with the baby? Why not let Rhaenyra have a few more moments alone with her new child and in real rest after putting herself through that pain to deliver it? (Because she was seeking to take advantage of Rhaenyra’s state). Plus, even if this is a medieval-modeled world, people did and would know that freshly-born infants need to be handled carefully and not so exposed to so many different elements too soon. Newborns are understood to be delicate.

#alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd episode 6 #rhaenyra vs alicent #hotd #hotd comment #house of the dragon #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf asks to me

[aemiron-main]

You have absolutely 💯 sent me down a rabbit hole with your laundrygate and doorgate theories!!

This is such a ramble of thoughts so forgive the length. I apologize sincerely if someone already has shared a similar opinion but....what if our favorite unreliable narrator really was under an illusion during his kidnapping? What if Will does have powers which led to him being Vecna's first victim? And what if the weird time inconsistencies aren't due to time manipulation but rather space-time.

In the first episode, the Duffers give us the Xmen 134 reference. Most people quickly connected that to Brenner's manipulation of El and how she later defeats the demogorgan. The parallels are there for sure but if Will really was under an illusion and does have powers than there's a possible bigger parallel.

Without going to deeply into comic lore or nitty-gritty specifics of the Phoenix Force abilities, the villain Mastermind, in a bid to control Jean Grey and her powers, creates incredibly vivid illusions to awaken her true potential. This eventually gives rise to the Dark Phoenix. The Phoenix Force can manipulate space-time. Create and destroy universes. Edit timelines by changing both the past and the future. Be in two places at once.

What if the Mindflayer was already watching Will and was connected to him much like the Phoenix watched Jean since she was a child? Both making them targets for villains who see their potential and much like Mastermind, Vecna's vivid illusion triggered something far more powerful than he was prepared.

Space-time capabilities would explain why Will's vanishing is similar to teleportation. It would also explain why Barb's disappearance was similar if the mindflayer and Will already had a connection which allowed the demogorgan to simply move between worlds. And why Will and the Mindflayer can exist simultaneously in the UD and out. His communicating with Joyce and El while in the UD. The strange gaps in time could be editing from the part of his mind that was already connected to the Mindflayer. He is a spy after all.

What I personally find vexing is that Will's true sight ability simply disappeared after the end of his possession despite having had it prior to. Did the Mindflayer absorb some of the ability since Will and Flayed Billy were both able to communicate with El in the void? Or did Owens install Soteria in Will at the end of season 2 since season 4 revealed that he and Brenner knew about Vecna what he did to his victims? Owens knows vecna wants to destroy the world and if he suspected that Will could spy again, installing soteria would make sense because it would limit the connection. It also links up with his neck spidersense and could be why Will's expressions when discussing Owen look like he doesn't really trust him....because you know, he's a spy.

Here's to him being a successful double spy next season.

OMG PLS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GENIUS!!!! IM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET AROUND TO THIS ASK!! Everything you said about the xmen 134 really caught my eye, because  I had no clue about the lore behind it!! and i personally DEFINITELY think that will was under some sort of illusion/space time fuckery the night he disappeared, because theres way too many small, purposeful inconsistencies for them all to be production mistakes, including things like the gun still being on the rack in the shed AFTER will disappears, but then gone again when hopper goes in the shed the next day. And the fact that the xmen 134 comic + all of the genius parallels you’ve described here is mentioned in the same episode that will disappears in, right before he disappears?? There’s no way it’s a coincidence.  When you described “The Phoenix Force can manipulate space-time. Create and destroy universes. Edit timelines by changing both the past and the future. Be in two places at once,” I actually immediately thought of will’s season 2 episodes, considering that even dustin, lucas and mike say that it’s different from dnd true sight, considering that with dnd true sight, the person cannot be hard by the other world, but will IS able to be harmed by the mindflayer/the upside-down. So, will’s abilities definitely point towards being physically present in both the real world and the upside-down at the same time, and physically able to interact with both at the same time (ie, when will walks out of the arcade in the upside-down, he also physically walks out of it in the real world.)  ”Space-time capabilities would explain why Will's vanishing is similar to teleportation. It would also explain why Barb's disappearance was similar if the mindflayer and Will already had a connection which allowed the demogorgan to simply move between worlds. And why Will and the Mindflayer can exist simultaneously in the UD and out. His communicating with Joyce and El while in the UD. The strange gaps in time could be editing from the part of his mind that was already connected to the Mindflayer. He is a spy after all.” YES I LOVE THIS IT MAKES SENSE!!!  OKAY, SO: personally, i don’t think that it actually disappeared, especially since he had the ability prior to his possession/had his first episode in the show at the end of season 1- instead, I think that his powers/true sight possibility went “dormant,” in a similar way that El’s powers did + how she had to use nina to get them back. However, it’s also strange to me that will’s episodes seem to have ended as of season 3, but his neck tingles/connection to vecna still remains.  I think that everything you’ve mentioned here regarding will and flayed billy or owens and soteria are absolutely viable theories, and I’m honestly not sure what the answer is. And that’s also a very good point about linking up with the neck spidersense!!! And regarding flayed billy, when you mentioned that, it brought to mind the fact that billy sort of sees a “clone” of himself in the upside-down that talks to him, and like i’ve pointed out before, there’s that weird netflix still image on the pause screen that shows will looking into the shed at the EXACT moment that he would have disappeared: did we somehow have a weird will-clone situation going on???  It’s also interesting that during the scene where will is talking about owens with mike in s4, there’s that blooper of noah going “when i was the spy,” so that is another, albeit small, link between owens and spy imagery. It’s also interesting to me that owens was pre-emptively working on nina in the case of el losing her powers/needing them back again, so he’s definitely been thinking pretty far ahead with this sort of stuff, so i think there’s definitely a possibility that he was worried about will spying again.  My brain is total mush today so apologies if my reply is all over the place, but this is all absolutely brilliant and i love it, and im going to be thinking about it!! 

#stranger things #ST asks #time theory #vanishing of will byers #fave