#why does Netflix always take away my favourite comfort characters

[dycefic]

Hello, I recently read some of your work and I really really like your writing style! I’ve loved everything I’ve read so far and if it is not a burden to you and you are okay with doing so, I was hoping you could answer a few questions?

I was wondering if you had any formal writing education? Any advice for writing? Also wondered what kinds of books and authors you read, if you read?

I am sorry for all the questions, and if they’ve been asked before (I tried to find any answers you may have given to these or ones similar and I’m sorry if I missed them but direct me if need be).

I am also a writer and I’m always very curious about writers I look up to/ really like- most of them just happen to not be among the living so I do t really get to ask them any questions. Thank you for your time! It’s a pleasure to be able to read your writing!!

Thank you!

I am blushing extensively, thank you for all your kind words!

As for writing, I have had no formal education in it. I tried - and might not have dropped out of university if I'd succeeded - but creative writing required higher general scores than I got in school. I've read a lot of books on writing... like, a LOT... and always taken an interest in plot structure. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who walked out of House Of Flying Daggers (I saw it in theatres, I'm that old) rhapsodizing about the way they visually represented traditional storytelling metaphors (ie 'a rain of spears').

I will note that while it seems that absolutely everyone recommends Stephen King's 'On Writing', I've never read it because a) I found the little bit I read wordy and self-indulgent, and b) the very mention of that man's name enrages me because my partner once got into a serious hyperfixation and we didn't have a single conversation in which King's name was not mentioned for OVER A YEAR. This is not King's fault, but the name still fills me with intense fury.

Books on writing I would recommend:

K. M. Weiland's 'Structuring Your Novel': I like her 'voice', and her chosen examples, and pacing longer stories is one of the things I have the most trouble with.

J. Michael Straczynski's 'Complete Book Of Scriptwriting': It's an old book now, but it's still one of the best I've ever read, and my long-standing favourite. There's a ton of fascinating history about the evolution of screenwriting, and a lot of very pithy advice that applies just as well to novels and short fiction as it does to movies and television.

Chris Baty's 'No Plot? No Problem!': I haven't reread this in quite a while, but I remember it as being really helpful as well as fun to read. I also recommend NaNoWriMo in general. I've been participating since 2002 - this year will be my twentieth anniversary of NaNo - and my writing has improved enormously in that time. Writing is like everything else, insofar as the more you practice, the better you get. I've hit 50K every year since the beginning, so even if I never got a novel I wanted to finish, polish, and put out there (and a couple of them are promising), that's still 950,000 words I've written.

Also? Fanfiction. Fanfiction is a GREAT way to practice the craft. Because the characters and universe are pre-built, you can focus on the writing itself, on things like examining nuances of character, identifying and using tropes, and building a compelling story. Between NaNo and fanfiction, over the last 24 years, I have written over 2,000,000 words, and you can't do ANYTHING two million times without getting better at it.

As for who I like to read, I can't recommend Diane Duane, Tamora Pierce, and Georgette Heyer too highly. Not only do they write good stories, they were/are very, very technically skilled. Reading their work is an education in itself. I also recommend consuming narratives from other cultures - I learned a lot about different narrative conventions from things like reading translated novels, myths, and fairy tales, reading manga, and watching Chinese and Korean movies and dramas. It really gives you a different perspective on the mechanics of storytelling, and shows you how many 'default' or 'obvious' plot tropes are actually really culturally specific. (I have consumed every re-telling, re-imagining, or re-translation of Journey To The West, including the old tv show AND the Hallmark movie. I really recommend this, as it is FASCINATING how many ways different people interpret the same story. The Korean 'Korean Odyssey' and Netflix's 'New Adventures Of Monkey' are my favourites)

Bonus reading: When Books Went To War, by Molly Guptil Manning. It's not about writing, but it's about why stories are important, the lifeline a novelist can throw to someone experiencing the darkest of times, and what I believe may have been publishing's finest hour. I cry every time I read it, and it makes me proud to count myself a writer. If you ever wonder why you're slogging away so hard at learning so fickle and difficult a craft, this book will remind you.

“The therapeutic effect of reading was not a new concept to the librarians running the VBC (Victory Book Campaign). In the editorial Warren published on the eve of commencing her tenure as director, she discussed how books could soothe pain, diminish boredom or loneliness, and take the mind on a vacation far from where the body was stationed. Whatever a man's need—a temporary escape, a comforting memory of home, balm for a broken spirit, or an infusion of courage—the librarians running the VBC were dedicated to ensuring that each man found a book to meet it.” ― Molly Guptill Manning, When Books Went to War: The Stories that Helped Us Win World War II

#writing

[junicai]

Relationship with NCT Dream

➣ MARK ☾ mari

½ of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired

mari being confused in foreigner: ???

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?”

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile™

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it”

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합… 結合….. le chéile…. le… le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”and thus, a new confusion meme was born

➣ RENJUN ☾ renjaria

renjun and aria room together while she’s promoting with dream

they were so awkward around each other at the beginning :(

only really spoke in passing, or when they had to

it was renjun that broke the ice at first, asking if she wanted to go shopping for the dorm together

now it’s their thing

“no aria, we can’t get more ice-cream we’re all supposed to be on diets.” “but  ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡ please”

he’s lowkey soft for her but he’d rather throw himself off the roof then tell her that

piano pals

he started teaching her how to properly play once he found her messing around on a keyboard in the studio one day

they actually argue quite a bit

not about big things, but about smaller things that push each other over the edge because of stress

the first time he yelled at her, aria spent the night in hyuck’s room 

hyuck yelled at renjun for making her cry 

now they’re probably the best pairing for talking through their emotions instead of blowing up on each other

they’re both quite opinionated people, and they’ve learnt to navigate that well so fights don’t happen as often

does that stop renjun from teasing aria an within an inch of her life? absolutely not

“i’ll kill you” “can you, reach?” “LISTEN HERE-”

he acts like he’s 10ft tall, excuse you sir you are barely 5′6″

renjun was her mandarin teacher for a while, but then kun kindly told her that her “introduction” was actually calling herself an idiot 

aria has a bad problem with saesangs go away bitches and renjun is iconic for going off on them for her because she doesn’t like to make a big deal out of it all 

he gets so angry on her behalf

that was actually a topic of one of their biggest arguments smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria was leaning on a pile of books to prop herself up as she leant forwards to try and hang a string of lights on her bedroom wall. renjun walked in, and immediately came to her aid, speaking with a teasing tone. “need a hand?” 

aria, without ceremony just elbowed him in the stomach and used his then folded up figure to push herself up higher. “yes, thank you!”

she got hate for that one, but it was all in good fun and renjun was laughing after it

➣ JENO ☾ nori

aria is his princess and everyone else can fight him

like they’re both doyoung’s children, but if it comes down to it he will lay down his life for her

and not even in a romantic way, just a “you’re too precious i have to protect you” kind of way

czennies thought he was in love with her for the entirety of nct 2018 promotions

this boy was hanging off of her at any given second, and there was an edited video of jeno “glaring” at lucas’ back when the taller boy walked away after hugging aria

it was faked, stan twt needs to chill out

he drags her to the gym 

he’s basically her big brother? but they’re the same age - its a weird dynamic but they make it work

they’re so LOUD together

not chaotic, but he makes her laugh so hard 

vlive 191030: “nono-ah makes my cheeks hurt so i can’t spend too long around him. my sides hurt too ~  ♡(｡- ω -)”

any and all fanfictions written about the two are definitely either coffee shop, university or library AUs

this man walks like a bodyguard around her - boy got the arm over the shoulder, tucked her head into him, covering her face, its a whole ordeal

dispatch released some pictures of aria one day and accidentally blurred out jeno’s face because they thought he was her bodyguard 

is so. so mindful of how long aria spends in the training rooms

like, yes everyone else expects her home before midnight (long story)

but jeno actively makes sure to ask people what time she left the dorm at, and texts her to remind her to take water breaks and to come home at a good time so she can sleep 

these two are the creators of so many iconic vlives - they have a bad habit of going live at 1 or 2 in the morning, just doing random things

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

“hi hi! so, nono and i- jeno stop it, stop it! - nono and i are walking down to the park to go feed the birds - yes we’re going to feed the bird- no! we are not going to feed the ducks, bread can kill the ducks! why did you bring brea-”

jeno pulled the camera from aria’s hands. “ari and i,” he looked at her purposefully, “are going back to the dorms because someone forgot to bring the bird seed, and apparently we can’t give bread to ducks anymore.”

*sounds of aria intermittently hitting and scolding jeno ensue*

➣ DONGHYUCK ☾ arichan

the other half of the best friend crew

absolute heathens to be around when they are together

donghyuck is the person aria is closest to, and someone she’d call her best friend (only when she was sure he wouldn’t hear her)

she calls him “the demon child i can’t get rid of” but will, and has definitely pouted when he ignored her for too long

generally aria is a pretty soft spoken person, but not with hyuck around - he brings out all her chaos energy (please pray for the patience of dotae)

the pair have a little tradition of kissing the back of each others’ hands before going on stage for good luck. they can’t even remember how it started, but now its an unnegotiable pre-show ritual

he’s so clingy with her absolutely everywhere its painfully adorable  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

interviews? hyuck has a hand on her knee, or if she’s wearing a skirt he’s tucked his hand in between their chairs so she can hold it discreetly. in the dorms? full body tackle onto the couch, where he proceeds to lay on top of her completely.

because of hyuck’s nickname being the sun, and aria always being around him, czennies gave her the nickname “moon” to go with him

fans thought that aria was older than hyuck for a good year and a half before she released her birthday on a vlive, because she’s normally the one tasked with reigning his chaotic energy in during promotions (that is, if she hasn’t already joined him)

but off-camera, aria is absolutely hyuck’s baby there is no disputing that. aria’s sad?he’s there with ice-cream and a blanket and a baseball bat.

the winnie the pooh character that is on aria’s bed was a gift from hyuck for her 17th birthday, after she made him watch seven episodes of the show on netflix with her one night

yes he complained, but he slapped her hand away when she went to change it to something else

a twitter thread of a czennie comparing their horoscopes together went viral when people realized that it was quite plausible that the pair were each others (platonic) soulmates

after an incident involving blueberries, donghyuck took it upon himself to check the ingredients of every. single. food item in their dorm to make sure it was ok for her to eat

hyuck clowns her for her irish accent, and aria curses him out in japanese

tldr: they cute or whatever

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

donghyuck was doing a vlive in his bedroom, sitting and talking to czennies when aria opened the door to his room quietly. she didn’t say anything, just waved slightly with almost closed eyes before she crawled underneath his covers and tucked her plushie underneath her chin. hyuck didn’t even blink at it - so it must have been a regular occurrence.

➣ JAEMIN ☾ nari

jaemin highkey flusters her

not in a oo you’re so cute, cute boy make nerves go eeee

but he’ll wink at her and teasingly compliment her and now she looks like a firetruck this isn’t fair

he absolutely takes advantage of this where ever possible 

“riri, can i have some?” “no, i just made these you should have helped me (-_-)” “riri~ but you looked so cute making them i didn’t want to interrupt you~” *aria.exe has stopped responding*

but when aria isn’t trying to get her cheeks to stop being red, they’re really cute together 

you’d swear aria is older, by how much jaemin whines for her attention

the mighty battles between jaemin and hyuck

hyuck’s just biding his time for the rooftop fight

kinda panics around her when she’s crying, but is always the first to offer up a hug 

has a period tracker on his phone but no one knows about it 

he doesn’t like to coddle her because they’re so close in age, but that doesn’t stop him from getting protective in certain situations *cough cough the fansign cough cough*

jaemin and aria cuddling when they’re drunk? more likely than you’d think

he definitely professed his undying love for her at one point while being drunk, and chenle caught it on video 

“noona we’re playing that at your wedding” 

designated blanket/pillow hunter at award shows, and if he can’t find one then he usually just gives her his jacket

the amount of coffee these two consume should be illegal 

aria prefers to call him nana and he prefers to call her riri in the dorms, so when either of them get called by their first name by the other it means A: they’re on a schedule, or B: someone’s about to die

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

nct dream on idol room were trying out jaemin’s death-in-a-cup (his coffee) and as the cup got passed around, aria grew more and more concerned with each face the members made. “jaemin if i die from this-”

he only smiled at her while passing over the cup. aria held it up to look at the black liquid skeptically, before sighing in resignation and bringing the cup to her lips to take a sip. 

and then another.

“wait this is good i like this”

➣ CHENLE ☾ leri

hide yo kids and hide yo wives because leri is entering the chat

*cue aria and chenle wearing 2000s rapper clothes with backwards baseball caps*

these two are so chaotically calm

its like the energy cancels out or something 

aria with hyuck is just so loud and obnoxious, and the same with chenle with jisung

so when you put those two together it just turns into le positive vibes

you ever meditated to those 132 hertz sounds? thats them in a sound 

aria will hold him like a baby kitten she’s expecting to try wriggle out of her grip at any moment and its comical because he’s a good head taller than her

aria definitely has a knack for making her groupmates’ parents fall in love with her

every two weeks or so she goes for dinner in chenle’s house upon his mother’s request

they have a mutual understanding of the mental toll it takes to be around the rest of the dreamies constantly

chenle and aria sitting peacefully, watching a cdrama: 

the dreamies, throttling each other: AAAAAAAAAAA

will never admit it but he misses her the most when she goes away to promote

he thinks of her as a big sister and the dorms feel empty without her there

aggressive proud hugs 

so aggressive, he legit tackles her

he had to tone it down after knocking her over once backstage and she narrowly missed clocking herself on a nearby soundboard 

“YAH ZHONG CHENLE YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL!”

he always gets a little bit anxious when they eat things outside of the dorms because he’s never seen her have an allergic reaction before and he’d like to keep it that way  (`皿´＃)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

chenle was particularly restless that day, constantly shuffling about in his seat to the point where renjun forcefully tossed an arm over his shoulders to hold him still while the vlive was still playing.

not one to be defeated, chenle then turned to press his lips to renjun’s cheek playfully, laughing when the older boy turned away in disgust. he turned to do the same to aria, coming closer to her cheek before aria turned her head to face his.

“AAA-” “EW CHENLE WHY”

➣ JISUNG ☾ jiri

oh god oh god oh god

if aria could take this boy and wrap him in a blanket and keep him in her pocket she would - no questions asked 

jisung knows she loves him the most out of dream sorry markhyuck and takes advantage of it every second

she used to coddle him a lot when he was smaller, but now that he’s older aria tries to rein it in as much as possible

that doesn’t mean it goes away completely though

“noona can you cook for me?” “of course jisungie! what do you want?” 

*jeno gobsmacked in the background* “you just told me you were too tired to cook tonight”

aria: big baby, must protect

jisung: tiny noona, must protect

jaemin and aria are really the only people jisung is ok with seeing him be super emotional - and he flip flops between the two depending on the reason why he’s emotional

self-esteem, feeling poopy side of it all? straight into aria’s bed, letting her roll him onto his side so she can tuck his head into her shoulder and covers the two of them with her duvet the way she used to do when he was shorter

this boy cannot curse around her unless he wants to get his ass Beat

dancing bros

they go so hard in their NCT Dance duet videos 

he keeps band-aids in his bag for her in exchange for her keeping an extra bottle of water in hers because jisung always forgets his own

jisung rests his elbow on her head a lot

but only briefly because the last time he stayed there for too long she stamped on his foot

tldr: aria is jisung’s emotional support gnome

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

jisung and aria were doing the chicken leg battle (this one) to fight for first dibs on the rooms they were going to be sharing for the next week or so. just before they were about to start, mark started laughing and pointing at how high jisung’s leg came up on aria’s, with aria’s knee barely hitting jisung’s mid-thigh

“this is an unfair advantage! this is cheating!”

#*aria.relationships #ooh she a little bit stilted at the end but ill come back and edit it soon :) #nct 24th member #nct dream 8th member #nct 22nd member #nct additional member #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct 2020 #nct 2018 #wayv #superm #nct female member #nct female member au #nct female oc #kpop additions #kpop!oc #kpop addition #nct extra member #taeyong #taeil #johnny #lucas #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #ten #mark #mark lee

[eyessharpweaponshot]

hi there!! are there any fics you’re reading right now that you would recommend? i need something good after the season we’ve been given so far 😣

hello there!

I agree, this season has been disappointing - especially considering it’s the last one. but thankfully, our fandom is full of amazing writers that serve us goods regularly. I have so much to recommend, it’s a joke. so prepare for a long fic rec. In no particular order, let’s begin:

1. Chasin’ You - @burninghoneyatdusk

okay. you’re gonna see a bit of a theme with me in these fic recs because the authors I mention are some of my favourites in the world - sam being one of the TOP TIER ones. this fic is a modern au, written about clarke and bellamy as exes (a favourite trope of mine) that have went their separate ways. clarke has moved away and hasn’t kept tabs on bellamy but he's soared to the top as a country star, his hit single being about her and what they had. if there’s any fic from this list you need to start reading, it’s this one.

2. Voices in the Water - @burninghoneyatdusk

It’s the canon version we all wanted. set on earth, clarke’s aunt (nia) forces her into an arranged marriage with king bellamy to unite the clans. but under it all, nia has tasked her to kill him. obviously, as clarke falls in love with bellamy, it’s the one task wanheda probably can’t complete. I'm in love with the imagery and descriptions in this fic. there are honestly some lines that sam writes that I want to frame and put up in my house. absolute brilliance.

3. All Because of You - @burninghoneyatdusk

*sheepishly raises hand* - hi, it’s me again, fangirling over another one of sam’s fics. if you have followed me for a while, either here or on twitter, you’ll have seen me screaming about this fic. I've pulled over while driving to read an update that came through to my email. no lie. I don’t say this lightly but it is definitely in my top 3 favourite bellarke fics of all time. sam DELIVERS with this one. bellamy knocks up his sister’s best friend when they’re both young and they grow together in raising their daughter. this fic flashes between present and future in the most seamless way and we see how in love they were back then but too scared to admit it, combined with how in love they are now that they are mature and older - but yet can’t seem to take the leap. I can’t tell you enough how good this fic is. I'm in love and it’s one of those fics that I would happily have as a book on my bookshelf, the pages worn and falling out from the amount of times that I re-read it.

*I just want to note that sam is doing a fantastic job at running @bellarkefic-for-blm. This is an opportunity for the bellarke community to directly support the Black Lives Matter cause through reading and writing fanfiction. For every fanfiction prompt a participating writer receives, they ask that you donate to an organization that supports the BLM cause. This initiative includes non-bellarke the 100 ships and requests for other content (e.g. gif sets, icons, moodboards, fanart). please check them out and request a prompt (this also includes updates for the above mentioned fics)*

4. Count Your Teeth - @icantloseyou-too

let me tell you, you guys will be well fed after reading this fic. It’s one of the most original idea’s and we get so much bellarke and the blake siblings in this one. bellamy is a treasure hunter and married to clarke, after leaving his thieving days behind him. that is until his past comes knocking and drags him back into that world again - and clarke along with him. absolute chefs kiss!

5. Cups and Sorcerers - @icantloseyou-too

again, such a unique plot with just the right amount of fluff. clarke is a witch who owns a coffee shop and she ends up meeting someone just as unique as her. I’m invested in this to an embarrassing degree and it always puts me in a good mood when this fic is updated. such a light and heart filling read and ciara does a fantastic job of world building in this fic.

6. Paint me in Trust - @pawprinterfanfic

I'm sure this fic needs no introduction. everyone and their mother has heard of it and if you haven’t read it yet, believe me, you’re missing out. a harry potter au that runs alongside the last few movies without being involved with the main characters. essie manages to make an already existing world so different, thrilling and gripping. it emotionally upends you and takes you along for the ride without any intention of letting you off. I'm just in love with it and rightly so!

7. When the Wolves Come Home - @pawprinterfanfic

I don’t know how people aren’t RAVING about this fic more because I certainly am. it’s massive for me to even say this because I love all of essie’s work but it’s my favourite fic that she’s written. I can’t describe the feeling I get when I read how she’s written bellarke in this. it’s a percy jackson au but you don’t need to have knowledge of that world to enjoy this. I actually started reading the books because of this fic. essie writes it so well and incorporates a lot of fantastic elements from greek mythology while also keeping me on the edge of my seat with bellarke’s journey. HERE FOR IT ALL THE WAY.

8. I’ll Find You in the Morning Sun - @cominguproses13x

I’ve never seen a fic talked about as much as this one. with 60 chapters, it’s bound to satisfy any hunger you have for bellarke. it’s set in a post apocalyptic world and it is beyond a shadow of a doubt, my favourite setting to read bellarke in. I've actually stopped reading this fic on chapter 5 because im currently writing my own post apocalyptic au as it was a trope on my bingo card and I don’t want any subconscious spill over, but I fully intend on reading the rest of the fic in one go once my fic is published and done. it deserves all the praise and hype.

9. For Blue Skies - @kombellarke

kayla’s fics make me actually weep. her writing style is just unbelievable and she sucks me into stories so fast. this one is no different. I live and breathe for bellarke as exes and this fic is one of my favourites. it’s a modern au with clarke as a mother and she cascades back into bellamy’s life without warning. perfect angst and anticipation. in love.

10. Love Like Fools - @talistheintrovert

the way I love talis with my whole heart. I'm always obsessed with her fics and the way this one was written was just magnificent. enemies to friends to lovers, roommates, angst, emotional comforting? SIGN ME UP. the perfect mix of all of those and I felt so good after reading this. always a fan.

11. It Had To Be You - @useyourtelescope

I had the honour of pre-reading some of this fic before it was published and I felt so privileged. a regency au with a prank war sprinkled in? perfection. hana honestly writes this so beautifully and I can’t recommend this enough. it’s so unique and we are all so incredibly lucky that there’s something in the bellarke fic world for everyone.

12. Veni, Vidi, Vinci - @carrieeve

Again, proof of the pudding that there’s something in fic for everyone. I’ve never read one like this before and it THRILLED me. murphy and bellamy working together to steal a Vinci? it was the fic I never knew I needed. the bellarke interaction in this was beautifully written and I am just completely obsessed. we really struck gold with the bellarke big bang works this year.

13. A Twist of Fate - @queenemori

let’s be honest, soulmate au’s are always wanted and needed in this fandom and kara does an excellent job of serving us this one. we got some team cockroach in here along with some top tier quality bellarke. what more could you ask for? if you haven’t read this fic yet, you need to. so thankful for kara being the absolute gifted babe that she is.

14. Power Over Me - @sparklyfairymira

okay, if you recently watched the witcher on netflix like I did, believe me, you NEED to read this fic. if you haven’t watched the witcher, this fic will make you want to watch it. the smut in this, the plot, the WRITING. absolutely phenomenal. have I mentioned how lucky we are to have such fantastic writers in this fandom?

15. There’s a Serpent Lying Deep Down in These Still Waters - @shaeheda

post apocalyptic au? SIGN ME UP. bellarke thrown together in unkind circumstances? SIGN ME UP. this magnificent human writing a fic? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. I'm so in love with this fic already and I haven’t even finished it yet. as I've said, I've stopped reading fics in this genre until my own is completed but I’ve read enough to tell you that this needs to be on your next to read list. forever in awe of the talent here and this fic makes me feel so lucky to be part of something so great.

I hope this satisfies you for a while and that you enjoy all the bellarkey goodness that comes from these fics. I'm gonna drop some of mine below because why not? just in case you’re in need of something more.

1. I Found Peace in Your Violence

clarke griffin has it all. she’s popular, an artistic prodigy and has a wealthy family to boot. so when her perfect world comes crashing down around her, it’s time to sink or swim. she tests positive for the Homicidal Tendency Syndrome gene, also known as the kill gene. clarke is plucked from her comfortable life and placed into a school with people just like her - carriers, delinquents. when she meets bellamy blake there, he looks like everything they say HTS carriers are. a monster, a criminal. yet, he’s the one who protects her.

2. I Am Lost This Time

a void!bellamy fic that we all deserved to have happen in canon. an au where bellamy hears clarke’s radio calls from earth, sees her memories in m-cap and where she really is the key: the one that unlocks his memories and brings him back to her.

3. Purple, Blue, Orange, Red

bellarke are childhood friends and teenage lovers, reuniting in the midst of the same grief that tore them apart.

4. Devil Side

post apocalyptic setting and my favourite fic to have ever written. both of them coming together to survive and protect those in their family, including two small children. bellarke started out as strangers, who would have thought that they’d end up co-parenting in the middle of a world that is too dangerous to survive out in the open?

5. Waste It on Me

a soulmate/reincarnation au that I wrote based off my own breakup and feelings. probably my most popular fic and should keep you going in terms of bellarke feels.

#bellarke #the 100 #bellarke fanfiction #bellarke fic rec #fic recommendations #jensfic #eyessharpweaponshot #wonderful writers #wonderful fics

[phantombandit-films]

Let’s talk about Labyrinth and the meaning behind it because people like to ruin everything.

Let’s start with a question, as an angst teen drama queen did you never make up scenarios in your head? an adventure in space or in a fantasy world that you created yourself, or one from a film. A situation to be with a made up hero/ love interest, or a self insert into a movie/ show/ book so you could be with your favourite character or to simple just be in a world you love and find fascinating? because fantasy is sometimes way better than our reality. 

Because I did, I’m 24 now and I still do to this very day.  This is what I think Sarah is doing and what Labyrinth is really about, I’m here to talk about it and show the evidence. 

So pretty early on in the movie (based that you have seen this movie a good 100 times, because if it’s your first time watching this will probably go over your head) we see signs that the whole trip that Sarah takes to the Labyrinth is all due to her imagination. 

In the very first scene of the movie we see Sarah in a park, she’s wearing a very princess looking dress with a crown on her head and reading from a book or play called ‘The Labyrinth.’ which we can tell she’s clearly obsessed with.  She’s read it enough times to memorise the lines, well apart from that very last line that she clearly gets frustrated at not knowing.  She then returns home only to be shouted at by her step-mother which clearly upsets her, and finding her favourite teddy missing just pushes her over the limit. 

It’s all made up, her mind has created a fantasy to get away from what she thinks is a ‘terrible’ life in her angst teen state, a way of coping. Being told what to do by her step-mum, her dad taking his wife’s side and to top that all off thinking she has no time for herself because she always has to love after her step-brother Toby.  

Also we see evidence that she was extremely close to her mum, she has photos of them together on her mirror, we see news paper cuttings in a scrapbook of ‘Linda Williams’ who looks to be a famous stage actor, she’s pictured along with her ‘boyfriend’ who also is a co-star (who in the photo’s is actually David Bowie) 

(Netflix Screenshots.) 

We literally see a statue of Jareth on her dressing table at the beginning.

Sarah’s dog Merlin = Sir Didymus’s dog Ambrosius,

A plush of a Fiery,

A music box of Sarah in the masquerade dress dancing in a ‘bandstand’ the music box also plays ‘As the world falls down’.

A plush of Sir Didymus.

A puzzle game of a maze.

A book stand of Hoggle.

A poster of the Escher room of stairs.

A plush of Ludo.

We are also shown a range of fantasy books which tells us that Sarah enjoys reading fiction, especially adventure novels. 

As for the form Jareth takes, he is believed to be a fae (if he is even real and not just a figure of Sarah’s imagination) which would mean that he’s probably way over 100 years old, and could probably change his appearance to anything anyone desires. But we are taking about this being Sarah’s way to comfort herself,so we talked about her mum and her being incredibly close to her mum. So maybe she’s jealous of her, that she gets to live this glamours life as a famous stage actor where she gets to life out all these amazing fantasy scenarios. On top of that she’s dating the most desirable actor and the media is even making that look glamours with their ups and downs.  So maybe that’s why Jareth look’s like her mums actor boyfriend. 

Through her journey she begins to realise that she takes everything for granted, and only when Toby is in danger does she realise how much he means to her.  She also realises that she can’t just close herself off from the world and live in a fantasy world, she needs her family and friends to guide her sometimes and it’s okay to ask for help. 

I wanted to dive into this more because recently one of my good friends who also adores labyrinth posted a tiktok of the Masquerade scene, and she was flooded with comments of ‘This is so wrong he’s luring a child.’ ‘Jareth is a p**o.’ So I wanted to clear up that Sarah imaged it all, and 300 year old man (Jareth became goblin king in the 1700s) didn’t just come to kidnap her. Maybe if you watched the movie properly, or actually researched the movie properly and not just want to cause harm to something so precious to many many people just because people love to ruin absolutely anything these days.   Also can I add that David Bowie was extremely respectful of 14 year old Jennifer Connelly and she said herself that he made her feel so comfortable while filming and he became a hero to her. She still speaks of him fondly in interviews.

Okay lets talk about the songs! 

Underground:  ‘No one can blame you for walking away, too much rejection no love injection. Life can't be easy It's not always well, don't tell me truth hurts, little girl 'Cause it hurts like hell. But down in the underground, You'll find someone true.’

Kinda speaks for itself doesn’t it? She doesn’t think people love her and just use her to get what they want, and she lives in a fantasy world of her own making because the truth hurts too much. Because who’s going to hurt her in her own fantasy world where she is the main character?

As The World Falls Down:  ‘There's such a fooled heart beatin' so fast, In search of new dreams a love that will last. Within your heart, I'll place the moon within your heart.’

‘As the pain sweeps through makes no sense for you, every thrill is gone wasn't too much fun at all. But I'll be there for you-ou-ou, As the world falls down.’

Because it is Sarah’s own imagination she’s the main character so even when the ‘bad guy’ tries to make her forget everything, because we always need a obstacle for the main hero she easily defeats it and remembers about her baby brother that needs saving.

Within you: ‘Live without your sunlight, love without your heartbeat. I, I can't live within you’

Sarah can’t always live in her daydreams, one day she’s going to have to wake up and live in her reality no matter how bad it is. But that’s growing up. 

I am a sucker for the fan theory that Jareth once had a true love named Sarah who was a human and also had an evil step-mother and she made Sarah do all the chores and look after her baby step-brother, and Sarah and Jareth were forbid from marring because her step-mother needed Sarah. 

So Jareth took the baby and turned it into a goblin, and then made the Labyrinth for him and Sarah to live out the rest of their days in, but time moves differently in the Labyrinth so by the time Jareth had finished Sarah in the human world had grown old and died.  Now he searches for his lost soul mate in reincarnations of Sarah who also have evil step-mothers and baby brothers. This is why when Hoggle ask’s who she is and she says Sarah he replies with “That’s what I thought.” But then again this could be because its Sarah’s imagination.  But my favourite  bit was that the Labyrinth book that Sarah reads at the beginning was wrote by another girl who had solved the Labyrinth and defeated Jareth. I guess you can have different takes on the plot, I definitely have over the years but watching it over several hundred times in my twenties and having a growing interest in media and film, with hyper fixations of my own to cope with reality I see now the real message of Labyrinth. 

Now the last scene - Jareth starts with this line. 

“I’m exhausted from living up to your expectations of me.”

We then move onto a dramatic reenactment of the scene she played out in the park from the book. She’s finally realising what the words mean and I always thought that, that last line. The one she can never remember, I don’t think she does remember it but she finally realises that whatever he does he doesn’t have any power over her. 

“You have no power over me.” 

Thus the reality kicks in.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk on why you shouldn’t disrespect David Bowie, peace out.

#labyrinth #David Bowie #jennifer connelly #sarah williams #jareth #The Goblin King #jareth the gobling king #rant #movie rant #labyrinth rant #sir diddymus #ludo #hoggle #fireys #dont disrespect david bowie #labyrinth fandom #this took me all afternoon #ello worm #worm #sarah and jareth

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 6 』

· Sept. 30th → We Don’t Need Things Like Memories ·

Characters: female!reader, Sawamura Daichi, Sugawara Koushi, Kuroo Testurou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru

Prompts: B. beginnings and endings

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, some serious angst, beginnings and endings, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I thought I'd just go ahead and rip my own heart out by writing these headcanons about what some of the Haikyuu boys are like when the relationship starts out (beginnings) and what they're like when you break up (endings). I mean, why not? Fluff, angst, emotional pain and suffering? I may as well 🙃

All of my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts are SFW, but I write NSFW stuff on my blog too *wiggles eyebrows* Feel free to take a look! Thanks for reading 🙏 Please enjoy ♡

Haikyuu × reader / beginnings and endings

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Beginnings

You probably confess to him first

He's a bit dense when it comes to picking up on the signs. He tends to get his hopes up and then brush it off as friendliness

'She just likes you as a friend, Daichi. Stop reading into it' *entire theatre of people smack their foreheads in unison*

He's dumbfounded for a second or two, processing what you just told him

Then he asks you out. No hesitation, no shyness, no awkwardness. Just pure, confident Daichi

He's literally living on cloud nine for the next few weeks because, holy shit, he's dating you

Has the biggest smile on his face whenever you're out together

And he's very protective, but not in an overbearing way

Sometimes, he places his hand on your thigh while he's driving and slowly strokes this thumb over the soft skin

And he gets all adorably bashful when he has to keep introducing you to people as his girlfriend!!

There's literally nothing he wouldn't do for you, and that's coming from a cop

Endings

When you tell him you want to break up, he hears it over and over in his head like a broken record

He keeps asking himself how this happened, and he wants to beg you to change your mind

But he respects your decision. He won't keep an immature grudge or start yelling. He just regrets

With a small, fake smile, he says he's actually been thinking the same recently

l i a r

All because he doesn't want you to feel bad or awkward about leaving him behind

Daichi's civil when you come to collect your things from his place, and when he sees you out with some other guy, even though his heart is literally cracking inside his chest

He blames himself, of course. He should have done more to keep you. He should have made more time for you. He should have stayed as loving and attentive as he was at the beginning

But he got comfortable. Complacent. And he started taking you for granted

Oh, the stinging irony of hindsight

☆ Sugawara Koushi ☆

Beginnings

He approached you at a café with a bashful smile and a hesitant hand behind his head, and asked you for your number

A few weeks of texting, sexting, and casual encounters later, you went official

He couldn't be a better boyfriend. He's always so kind, and attentive, and loving, and cute

He covers the bed in rose petals on special occasions like an absolute sweetheart

He loves buying couple's items: shirts, bracelets, mugs, necklaces – you name it. He's old-school cringy like that

He showers you with kisses, praises the hell out of you, and can't stop asking how he got so damn lucky to be with you

He gives the softest hugs, the most sensual kisses

When he snaps a new photo of you, he sets it to his lockscreen so he can stare at you even when you're not there

He innocently kisses your nose in public, only to grab a handful of your ass for a second or two, below the level of everyone's eyes

You always loved it when he did that

Endings

There's a pit in his stomach when the words pass your lips, and a voice in the back of his head telling him 'Oh. Right. Of course. You knew this would happen. You were never really good enough for her, anyway'

He has to fight back the tears because he refuses to cry in front of you

It's a painful, stinging acceptance that laces his mind and tongue. It never really would have worked. Would it?

When you leave, Suga attempts to go about his regualr routine. To be fine

But his hand is shaking uncontrollably and he drops the mug in his hand, and watches as it smashes into pieces on the kitchen floor

You bought him that mug. And that, of all things, is the one to break him

The tears come over him in weak, silent sobs as he doubles-over the sink, his throat too constricted to allow any sound to escape

He cries so hard that he throws up in the sink

The weeks pass, melt away into months, and he's doing better. Doing well

Until he comes across an old shirt you left behind and never came back for, and the memories all come flooding back

That night, he cries himself hoarse, until he can't feel his face

No matter how hard he tries, he can't forget you. Your nails are dug into him even now, holding him down in his misery

☆ Kuroo Testurou ☆

Beginnings

He asked you out with some cheesy pickup line, something that made you groan and grin at the same time

He couldn't believe his luck when it worked

He tries to take things slowly, be reasonable. But all that caves in when you melt him with that smile of yours

You quickly become the centre of his world

He sends you flowers and chocolates to your work, just so you know he's thinking about you

He'll kiss your hands when you're cuddling together on the sofa, like an old married couple

He constantly texts you to make sure you're okay, sometimes sexting you to demonstrate just how much he's thinking about you

He takes his time and explains things about science that you don't get, just so you don't feel left out

When a guy's been looking at you too much, he grabs you by the waist and pulls you in for a messy kiss, his hands working their way down to your ass

For your sixth month anniversary, he surprises you with a cockapoo to raise together, and suggests the name Furby, for some reason it sticks

He somehow always makes time to walk through the park and look at the cherry blossoms with you, even though he's really busy

He dances with you down the vegetable aisle at the grocery store just because, and couldn't care less about the people watching

He's constantly trying to make you laugh with the dorkiest things, because he thinks that's when you're at your prettiest

He would do anything to keep seeing that smile every day

Endings

You tell him he's moving too fast

He's in denial. He tells you he understands, but he doesn't

You leave the dog with him. And he knows it's unfair, but Furby reminds him of you

But he's lucky he still has the dog, because it's the only thing that keeps him going normally

As the weeks pass, he tries to leave you be and give you your space like he promised, but he just can't. His heart won't let him

It's 11:00 pm and he's knocking on your door, begging for you to open up and talk to him. To give him a another chance. To reconsider

He can hear you quietly sobbing on the other side of the door, and he knows you're second-guessing your decision, maybe even regretting it

It gives him hope that, if he doesn't give up, you'll come back to him, because it hasn't been the same without you

He hears your favourite song on the radio and has to sit down on the floor of the vegetable aisle at the supermarket before his legs give out

He sees your favourite restaurant and he can't pass without ordering a meal and crying into his food

He goes looking for fights with assholes at the gas station so he can let off some steam, and doesn't care if he spends the night in a cell with a black eye and bleeding knuckles

He hasn't been thinking straight, he doesn't care what happens to him anymore

And the crazy thing is, he'd still do anything for you, because you're the first real love of his life, and he can't forget you

He won't give up on you. It isn't in his blood

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

Beginnings

Ushijima never really knew what to do when you expressed an interest in him

You only started going out because Tendou read between the lines and made things happen

So now that you're finally together, he never really does anything that differently

It's just business as usual...plus you

If you want something from him, you have to ask specifically, or he won't pick up on it, so you have to be proactive in the Netflix and chill department

He actually thinks you just want to watch TV and relax

He's painfully blunt, but without any hidden agenda or meanness about him

And he cannot deny the small, warm glow he feels when you're there for him at his games

But he does try to make you happy

He shares his food whenever you ask, he lets you wear his clothes and thinks it's adorable how they dwarf you, he pats your head when you've done well, and holds you when you're feeling sad

And slowly but surely, he gets accustomed to you being there for him at every turn

And you're happy together, as honest best friends and close lovers

Endings

At first, he doesn't feel anything. It's what you want, so it's fine, right?

He got on just fine before you came along, and he'll do just fine with you gone. And it isn't spiteful, he genuinely believes it

He goes about his regular business, and everything's okay, just the same as it was before you

But as the days pass, it creeps up on him. He doesn't even know what it is as first, this dull, painful ache settling in the middle of his chest

He even Googles the symptoms when the pain gets too strong

It takes seeing you laughing in the arms of another man for him to realise that it's heartache

Crippling, agonising heartache, because he misses you

For the first time in his life, his legs go so weak underneath him that he can barely stand. He has to leave. He can't watch any more

He sits alone in his room, staring at the wall opposite, trying to get his head around it. To try and understand

Because he doesn't. He was fine before you came along. So why now? What had changed?

Ushijima comes to the conclusion that he's changed. And that you changed him

You showed him something he never thought he'd understand, reconstructed the fibres of his nature, made it so he couldn't live without you

And now you're gone

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Beginnings

He was hesitant. He doesn't just let people in. But he can trust you, that's what he keeps telling himself

He hopes it doesn't feel condescending that he chose you over every other girl, and tries desperately to make it apparent just how much he loves you

He makes an effort to show that he cares. He prioritises you, over everyone and everything

Your wish is his command. He wants to be that Prince Charming. That knight in shining armour

He's softer, more fragile, on the inside than you thought he'd be

He needs a lot of reassurance, and loves it when you gently stroke his hair

You share your deepest, darkest secrets, and you realise what a broken, vulnerable boy is in front of you, offering you his heart

But he sure knows how to laugh. His dates are the best. He always knows just where to take you

Those nights when you end up tangled together on the sofa, just listening to each other's heartbeats, are like Elysium to you

Endings

He can't believe what he's hearing. You promised you'd never hurt him

Disbelief, doubt, realisation, confusion anger, sadness – he gets mental whiplash as it all washes over him in a matter of seconds

Tooru punches the wall, leaving a crumbling hole the shape of his fist in the drywall

"YOU PROMISED," he shouts, red hot tears threatening to spilling over his eyes and down his cheeks. "You...promised..." he repeats weakly, sinking to the floor

You go to touch his shoulder, but he shakes you off and tells you to get out

Once you're gone, he breaks down in a sobbing heap on the floor, angry at himself, angry at you, angry at world for making him think he actually had a chance at happiness

He burns whatever you left at his place. He can't stand the sight of it

He tries to get over you by going to party after party, downing bottle after bottle, hooking up with girl after girl – but it's hollow. Empty. Meaningless. Because none of them are you

He convinces himself that that's a good thing, as he stares at the hole in the wall that he refuses to fix

Because if they're not you, they can't hurt him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

#imo chan imagines #haikyuuweek2020 #haikyuu!! #hq! #haikyuu x reader #headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #kuroo testurou #ushijima wakatoshi #oikawa tooru #sawamura daichi headcanons #sugawara koushi headcanons #kuroo testurou headcanons #ushijima wakatoshi headcanons #oikawa tooru headcanons #sawamura daichi x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #kuroo testurou x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #angst #fluff

[thewriterey]

If You Hadn’t Gone (Stucky x Reader)

Hi! I wrote this for my friend @larkboyd, sole provider of Stucky on my dashboard.

Uhhhhhh I’m not really in this fandom, but I can relate to feeling a lill crappy and just wanting to be sandwiched between two beefcakes. Besides, I had a dream a couple of nights ago about these specific men for some reason (seriously, like I said, I’m not even IN THE FANDOM. How does this even happen???). Steve was making nachos for me and Bucky was just slow dancing with me in the kitchen. So. That’s all this little ficlet is, really. Idk. Also I’ve never written in this perspective, I just DON’T KNOW WHY I DO THE THINGS I DO ANYMORE OKAY. Anyway.

Title is a line translated from a song they play in the movie y tu mamá también because !!! that dance scene, amiright?

Hope you enjoy c:

Words: 1318, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandom: Captain America / Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: All Ages

Warnings: None, pure fluff

Categories: M/M/F

Characters: You, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes

Relationships: Established Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, You/Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

Additional Tags: bad breakup with an unnamed asshole, hurt/comfort, fluff, domestic au, beginning of an m/m/f relationship, (but idk that’s not really clear and mostly just in my head, I might never write another word for this again, just wanted to put this out there)

---------------------------

You’ve never been one to cry over a man. It hasn’t happened once in the past. Sure, previous break-ups were awful, but you’d always known these men weren’t permanent. Besides, you have always been perfectly happy when you were on your own.

This time, however, it feels like someone has punched you in the stomach and won’t quit twisting their fist around. You really thought he’d be the one, he had been talking about engagement not three days ago. It hurts something fierce, and all you can really do is sob uncontrollably.

At first, the best idea seemed to be to just get a tub of chocolate ice-cream and order some take-out, but the weather was getting colder and although autumn was usually one of your favourite seasons this time the rain and the wind outside made you feel all sorts of cold.

I just don’t want to be alone tonight.

It’s the one phrase that’s on repeat in your head. But the task of reaching out to one of your friends and ask them to come over seemed impossible to complete today.

The only solution seems to be to curl up on the sofa and put on a random show on Netflix that you’ll only half watch between bouts of wondering where it all went wrong and why you feel the way you feel right now. 

-

A loud noise startles you. Someone is knocking at the window. Confused, you look up and try to find a clock. It’s just about 7 PM, it’s getting dark outside. The screen of the TV asks if you’re still watching, as if it’s aware that you’ve cried yourself to sleep a few hours prior.

You huff and by pressing a singular button on the remote your turn the TV with its mocking message off.

Leave me alone, I don’t need your judgment, too, stupid piece of garbage.

Then there is another knock at the window. It must be the food delivery guy. You quickly wipe away the tears from your eyes and take a deep breath. Five seconds of human interaction will be tough, but so are you and you can definitely handle that.

When you open the door, you remember you didn’t actually order any food yet.

It’s not the pizza delivery guy you thought it would be. It’s your friend, Steve. He smiles at you, as you stand there, dumbfounded.

What is he doing here?

“Hey, you didn’t show for dinner and didn’t respond to mine or Bucky’s texts, are you alright?”

Shit. Friday night. Movie night. How could you forget?

Five seconds have passed, and you’re not certain you can manage any more of this human interaction without crying again. The look on his face shifts as he can see you’re struggling.

“What happened? Are you alright?”

He steps into your personal space and wraps his arms around you, as you bury your face in his shirt and start crying.

“He broke up with me, Steve,” you manage to say. “Last week he was talking about engagement and now he never wants to see me again.”

He ushers you inside and closes the door behind him, saving you from the cold outside.

“Shhhhhh,” he says, whilst softly stroking your back. You stand there for a while. He keeps making shushing noises, keeps softly petting your back, until you calm down a little. You feel a bit embarrassed for crying in front of him, but also realise that if you would feel comfortable with crying in front of anyone, it would be him. He never judges you, he’s always right there when you need him, and he always manages to make you smile. Although that might seem like too much of a task even for him, today.

“Have you had anything to eat yet?” he asks.

“No,” you say.

“Then I’m calling Bucky and we’ll make you something, is that alright?”

Right. Because then there’s yet another person to see you cry and be miserable.

But as you feel his arms wrapped around your torso, you realise that at this point in time, being alone would be worse. And of all the people you consider your friends, Bucky and Steve are probably the people you feel the most at ease with.

“Yeah, that’s alright,” you say, feeling very small. “I’m just. I’m going to cry a lot though.”

Steve laughs. It’s more of a low rumble, coming from deep inside his chest. “That’s perfectly alright, cry as much as you want. We’ll be here.”

-

When you exit the bathroom, you can hear music coming from the kitchen. Bucky has arrived, then.

The shower has done you good. The hot water is always able to soothe any aches and pains, and it seems that holds true for heartaches. As you look at your closet, you can see a yellow summer dress hanging on the rack, just barely peeking around the corner.

Summer is over, and there hadn’t been an occasion to wear it. But the house is warm and the dress looks comfortable enough, and besides, dressing up always makes you feel better. It isn’t a hard decision to make.

When you enter the kitchen, the first thing you hear is an appreciative whistle. You start blushing, but have no time to really feel embarrassed about it, as Bucky wraps his arms around you in a big bear hug.

“You look lovely, sweetheart,” he says. You wrap your arms around him a little tighter. If you linger a little longer in his hug to hide the deep blush on your face, that’s between you and yourself.

“What are you making?” you ask, when you finally let go of the loving embrace of your friend.

“Steve is making nachos, and he isn’t allowing me anywhere near them,” Bucky says, sounding a little disgruntled.

“Hey, who burned them last time? I’m doing us all a favour.”

“Come on, that was one time.”

“Who burns nachos? It’s like, the easiest food to make. Period.”

Bucky rolls his eyes at you and makes a mocking face at Steve. You can’t help yourself and you have to hide a giggle behind your hands. Bucky’s eyes light up and he smiles at you brilliantly.

“Guess I’ll need to find something else to do in the meantime, then,” Bucky says.

The song changes, and all of a sudden the air turns soft, the music sounds sweeter. Before you know it, you feel Bucky clasp your hand in his as he wraps his other arm around your waist. There is no time to protest, and frankly, you’re not so sure that you even want to fight it.

He sways you slowly from the left to the right, following the rhythm of the music, as he hums along with the melody. Steve turns around for a moment, then smiles, and turns back to grating the cheese.

In hindsight, you’re really glad Steve showed up when he did. Asking for help can be terrifying, but when it is offered freely it is much easier to accept. And if an hour ago someone would have told you that you would be laughing right now, you would have declared them mad.

Steve finishes grating the cheese and puts the nachos in the oven. He wipes his hands on the tea towel and walks towards the two of you, dancing. Before you know it he, too, has wrapped his arms around you from behind, and tentatively places his hands on Bucky’s hips, as he leans his head on your shoulder and moves along with the music.

You can’t bring yourself to look into Bucky’s eyes anymore, but that’s alright. The air smells like nachos with molten cheese, the sounds in the air are peaceful and calm, and the arms wrapped around you feel amazingly warm.

In spite of everything that has happened today, you realise that right now, you are happy.

--- the end.

#stucky #captain america #my writing #reader insert #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #domestic au #ficlet

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Friday Nights (3)

Full series: 1 2 4 5 6 (more coming soon)

Word count: 1386

Genre: Honestly idk, maybe a little angst but mostly fluff?

Pairing: Jake x Amy (with platonic others in the squad)

Warnings: Minor swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Summary: After Amy’s breakup with her boyfriend, Jake and Amy establish a weekly binge watching night and both avoid their feelings for each other.

A/N: Chapter three!

**Please note that the warnings, pairing and genre are for the whole series so it varies chapter to chapter.

Amy POV

Usually Jake's jokes don't really get to me but with Daniel having broken up with me just this morning, it hits way too close to home. I look at him for a moment before I realize that I can't fake it anymore so I burst into tears. He looks stunned like he has absolutely no idea what to do. I bury my face in my hands. This is so mortifying! Jake will probably tease me about this forever and he'll tell everyone at work. I can't believe I'm bawling my eyes out in front of him I will never live this down and I'm going to be alone forever. Of course Jake thinks I'm super lame, I should have expected it - everyone does. I keep my face buried in my hands as I sob because I do not look good when I cry and that is the one embarrassment that I can still save myself from. An arm around my shoulders brings me out of my thoughts and I look up in surprise, a few tears still running down my face. 

"Amy" he says softly, "I'm so sorry, I meant it as a joke, I didn't think that you would take it seriously." I wipe some of the tears off of my cheeks with the sides of my hands.

"No, it's fine." I respond, trying to keep my voice steady, "It's not the joke - I knew you were joking."

"Then what is it?" Jake asks. "You know you can trust me, right?"

"My boyfriend broke up with me today." I say quietly looking down.

"But I thought it was going great?" he says.

"I just don't want to talk about it." I answer. "Can we just ignore it and watch something?"

"Of course." Jake takes his arm off of my shoulder and for some reason I feel strangely empty without it there. He then starts looking through Netflix for I don't know what show.

"Have you watched Friends?" I haven't actually event though it seems like everybody I know has. I don't know why I never bothered but now it's kind of embarrassing to admit.

"No" I respond truthfully, not at all surprised by his audible gasp to my answer. 

"You have been deprived of the greatest show of all time for too long - we have to watch it!" He proclaims, already starting the first episode. I smile at how visibly excited he is and I lean back into the couch to get more comfortable. Looking to my side I see that Jake has made himself comfortable as well, with his feet propped up on my coffee table. Normally I would tell him to take his feet down but I'm too relaxed to care and I am actually hesitantly excited to watch Friends. I just hope it's as good as everyone makes it out to be.

A few episodes later I know for sure that it is just as good or even better than people say. It's really funny although Jake seems to find it funnier than I do (he says it's because he's watched it before and knows the characters better). I definitely can relate to Monica the most and I find Chandler the most funny. I think that Jake is most like Chandler because they both joke around, although their jokes are very different. The one thing that surprised me is that everyone I know who liked Friends were obsessed with Rachel and Ross but so far they are my two least favourite characters. 

I'm not sure exactly how many episodes we've watched but I find myself too tired to care and slowly I stop following the storyline as my exhaustion of the day catches up to me.

Jake POV

Watching Friends is a good distraction from all the thoughts running through my mind. It has been a crazy day. Seeing Amy break down like that was pretty worrying because she always seems so put together and I've never seen her be this upset before. I do feel responsible for making the joke that caused it, but she does seem to have cheered up now so I don't feel too bad. It honestly surprises me how upset she was at losing her boyfriend. Although she and Daniel always seemed to have a good relationship I didn't know that she felt that strongly about him and just assumed it was more casual then it actually was. The one upside to this whole thing is that she trusts me enough now to confide in me even if it's just a little bit. Of course the other upside that I'm ashamed of even thinking about is that she is now single. 

Of course just because she's single doesn't mean I am going to make a move. Especially not now. It would be extremely selfish of me to take advantage of the situation and ask her out when she is feeling vulnerable. Besides, I'm not going to ask her out at all because she would never go out with me. She told me that going out with me would be the worst thing in the world for her a few years ago when we made the bet. Coincidently, the "date" we had was the night I realized I had feelings for her. Although a lot has changed since then, I've gotten more mature and she's gotten less uptight, she still only dates boring nerds like Teddy and Daniel. I wish I could just be honest with her but that would make things awkward and I value our partnership and our friendship too much to do that. There were however a few close calls where I almost told her I liked her, the biggest one being the night I left to go undercover in the mafia. I was about to tell her but then I felt like a jerk because she was in a relationship with Teddy. In hindsight the real reason I never told her was because I was scared.

A loud noise coming from the tv makes me jump and I realize that I have been completely neglecting the show in favor of my thoughts and we had already made it to the sixth episode. I look over at Amy to see how she is enjoying the show only to see that she has fallen asleep with a small smile on her face. She looks she peaceful lying there that I don't have the heart to wake her. Glancing at the clock I see that it is only around 9:30 which is still pretty early but I know Amy had a pretty emotional day so it's understandable why she fell asleep. Deciding that she would probably sleep better in her bed I softly pad to her end of the couch and scoop her into my arms. She stirs slightly which makes me freeze because I don't know what I would say to her if she woke up but luckily it isn't a problem because she is still after that. I quickly and quietly walk into her room and gently place her down on the bed. I then pull up the covers and tuck them around her shoulder. Throwing one last glance at her slumbering figure I silently walk out of the room.

Back in the living room I notice that the dishes are all over the coffee table and the take-out containers are still one the kitchen counter. Knowing that clean freak Amy would not be happy to wake up to mess, I clean the dishes for her and put them away. I then pack up the leftover food and put it in the fridge and throw away the containers. I sweep the apartment with my eyes trying to make sure I got everything. I think I did but then again I live in a giant mess so anything that is not a dump doesn't look bad in my eyes. Satisfied with the cleanliness I go over to the door to try to find a spare key. I find it right away because Amy had labelled it spare key. Grabbing the key I wiggle into my shoes and leave the apartment, locking the door as I exit. As I head back home I can't help but hope that we can do this again sometime.

#brooklyn 99 #b99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #jake x amy #peraltiago

[hermionecorfields]

As Alibi’s new series We Hunt Together airs tonight, Hermione Corfield confesses all on nature versus nurture, why this crime drama is really a love story and how she learnt to love reality TV.                                                        

By Laura Rutkowski, Staff Writer

Writer Gaby Hull has a knack of taking cat-and-mouse stories and turning them on their head. Last year, we described her ITV drama Cheat as a “stand-off between two cats”. With her latest series, We Hunt Together, plenty more traps are set (for mice – literally – and for people), with the “characters trying to one up each other and catch the other one out”, says star Hermione Corfield (Rust Creek).

Hermione plays “hustler” Freddy Lane, otherwise known as “premium girl” Zara Thustra, who works in the sex industry, operating hotlines and attending paid-for dates set up through so-called dating apps. As one of her dates is about to assault her, Babeni “Baba” Lenga (Dipo Ola, Baghdad Central) steps in and beats him up.

But this story is not as cut-and-dried as it seems and it certainly spits in the face of the “damsel-in-distress” trope. Freddy is out for blood and has a “set of ideals she strongly believes, whether they’re illegal or not”, whereas Baba is a former child soldier, with the “ability to kill engrained in him”. And that’s exactly what Freddy later enlists Baba to do – to kill her attacker.

Hermione says director Carl Tibbetts explained early on that he didn’t “want the scene in the alleyway to be the whole reason why she commits that killing. It’s got to be in her core to want to commit a crime like that”. Freddy is cunning, charming and deftly glib when DI Jackson Mendy (Babou Ceesay, Guerrilla) and DS Lola Franks (Eve Myles, Torchwood) come knocking to question her about the crime.

While shows including Killing Eve and The Fall operate under the detective/criminal dynamic, We Hunt Together offers “a study into four different psyches”. The two couples, one involved in a work partnership and the other embroiled in a True Romance-style relationship, are fundamentally dysfunctional. “However unconventional,” Hermione says, “it is a love story.” She adds, “Crime and murder are almost the background noise to the individual struggles.”

We Hunt Together tosses around that age-old question of nature versus nurture and delivers a fresh perspective on the dilemma. For one, Jackson doesn’t believe people are masters of their fate, he believes they can’t control their actions – leading to the cheeriest inspector you’ve probably ever seen on TV.

So when the damaged do damage, does that mean it’s not really their fault? “There’s a degree of responsibility obviously and I’m not saying Freddy’s blameless at all, but a theme throughout is that everyone’s doing their best with the brain they’ve been given and the circumstances they’ve been given,” says Hermione.

As your mind grapples with that debate, get inside Hermione’s head with one of everything from the entertainment world that she’s loving right now.

TV show: Normal People

Find it in Catch Up > Channels > BBC iPlayer

It’s beautifully shot and brilliantly acted. It was such a deep one that I came away every single time emotionally exhausted. I’ve been waiting a long time for Succession season 3!

Box Set: Call My Agent!

Find seasons 1-3 on Netflix

It’s a French TV show and it’s about the ins and outs of a talent agency in France, trying to keep it afloat and people pinching each other’s clients. There are subtitles – I do speak French, but probably not well enough to close my eyes. I’d like to think I’m getting there.

Film: Ema

It’s not the Autumn de Wilde one [Emma, starring Anya Taylor-Joy]. It’s about a couple where an adoption goes wrong. It tears their household apart and the music is composed by Nicolás Jaar, who is one of my favourite artists. I re-watched The Grand Budapest Hotel. Wes Anderson films are such a comfort for me.

App: PictureThis

My newest app, which is kind of nerdy, is an app that can identify plants. You take a photo of a plant and it immediately identifies it. I’ve been doing some gardening and my garden has sprung up from stuff I planted two years ago. I forgot what I planted, so I’m going around working out what everything is.

Video game: The Sims 4

I don’t normally [play video games], but I’ve gotten into The Sims 4 again, which is one of the biggest time-eaters I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s a lot of fun, but that’s the only game I’ve ever played. It’s classic. I feel like everyone’s regressing into their childhood selves at the moment.

Podcast: Off Menu

Ed Gamble and James Acaster basically do a dream meal [with guests]. For news, I always listen to The Daily and Beyond Today. I enjoy journalistic narratives that take you through a story. The New York Times’ Caliphate is about this woman [Rukmini Callimachi] going to where ISIS strongholds used to be and collecting documents that have been left behind in bombed buildings.

I watched Tiger King, which was amazing, and I listened to the Wondery podcast of that ages ago. I really enjoy true crime ones, like The Dropout and The Shrink Next Door.

Documentary: For Sama

It’s about the fall of Aleppo and the Syrian War. Another one is Honeyland, which is about a woman in Macedonia who’s a beekeeper in the middle of nowhere. It’s such an amazing insight into a life you’d normally never see.

Guilty pleasure: Reality TV shows

Reality TV shows are definitely my guilty pleasure, because I do always feel significantly guilty when I’m watching them – for ages I’ve fought it. Film and TV is my job, so I guess there’s an element of it not being linked to my work and I can switch off.

I was in the States for a bit and I watched The Bachelor while I was there, which I’d never seen before. I do watch Love Island. It’s just people being people. It’s so interesting to see how people react in those scenarios. It’s like Big Brother in seven different forms.

When is Alibi’s We Hunt Together on TV?

We Hunt Together airs on Alibi/HD (CH 126/212) on Wednesdays at 10pm, with the first episode screening on 27 May. It is also available for 30 days in Catch Up > Channels > Alibi.

(Source/Font) HERE

#Hermione Corfield #Alibi #We Hunt Together #TV Serie #freddy lane #2020 #interview

[wordssometimesfail]

An Extremely Belated and Unasked-For Dissection of the HIMYM Finale

So, I recently hung out with a teenage cousin of mine. He told me that he had just discovered How I Met Your Mother on Netflix, and was a couple of episodes away from the series finale. Since the show’s been finished for a while and the internet fallout was so prolific, I asked him if he’d been spoiled for the ending. He said no, but then began insisting that I tell him what happens. 10-15 minutes of begging later, I finally relented and gave him a bullet-point summary of the finale. 

He burst out laughing, said I was a bad liar, and asked for the real ending. 

Instead of digging in my heels, I shrugged and told him he’d just have to watch it, so, y’know, that’ll be hilarious. But it got me thinking. 

I, like everyone else, felt so fucking betrayed by the ending of HIMYM. Because it affected me so much, in fact, I became a bit obsessed with it. I went back to the show not long after the finale aired, just to watch old episodes again. This was partially because it had been a “comfort watch” for me for so long, and partially because I felt a deep-seated need to dissect the show as a whole. 

And the thing is, if you rewatch the show with the ending in mind, it is very easy to see that they kept the ending in their heads the entire time. It’s decently, if subtly, foreshadowed. While the characters’ behaviour in the finale is frustrating, it is actually fairly consistent with their established personalities. And the misogynistic subtext of the finale was, unfortunately, a mainstay of the show long before that point. We gave C&C a lot of shit at the time for the ending coming out of nowhere, but outside of a few minor timeline/continuity issues, honestly? It didn’t. The groundwork was laid, and the clues were there all along.

So... why did it feel unearned? Why did almost no one see it coming, even avid, weekly watchers? Why does it sound so much like a bad lie? 

I think the main problem came in when the showrunners realized that they were likely not going to be cancelled until the story was done. If you look at the first 4 seasons, you can see where they left themselves lifelines to complete Ted’s story if the plug were preemptively pulled: 

Cancelled in Season 1 - Victoria becomes the Mother. Robin and Ted have feelings for one another, but because of timing and circumstance, they never pull the trigger. The audience was (presumably) rooting for them all season, so seeing them end up together years after Victoria’s death is satisfying, and feels like the resolution of years-long tension. You CAN love again after losing a beloved partner! (In hindsight, considering the ending they went with, I kinda wish the series had ended here.) 

Cancelled in Season 2 - Robin and Ted break up earlier than they do in-show. Ted meets the Mother at Marshall and Lily’s wedding, which also happens earlier than it does in-show. While in this timeline the audience HAS seen Robin & Ted as a couple and there is less UST to resolve, the toxicity of their relationship has not yet been explored, so seeing them get back together has more of a “they’re finally ready for each other” feel. 

Cancelled in Season 3 or 4 - Stella becomes the Mother. The “Shelter Island” wedding ends in a reception and a honeymoon, and the pacing is drastically altered. Again, Robin & Ted have not really relapsed in this timeline - they broke up and are both miserable about it, regretting what they did but both being too proud to admit as much, until it’s too late and Ted has fallen for someone else. The Barney/Robin hookup in S3 makes this a bit messier, but basically works. The rift caused by their hookup (+ Robin begging Ted not to marry Stella before the ceremony) kicks off the dissolution of the gang, and either...

Barney doesn’t catch feelings in this timeline and that’s the end of it.

Barney doesn’t catch feelings, but they continue a FWB relationship that eventually implodes as Robin realizes she wants what she had with Ted again, she can’t do casual anymore. 

Barney does catch feelings, but upon accepting that Robin will always be pining for someone else, “relapses” and goes for the Perfect Month. (This one works whether they do the FWB thing or not.)  

Ultimately, the tragedy of poor timing strikes again, and there is still some narrative satisfaction to the Ted/Robin endgame. 

Barney’s finale plotline (unplanned daughter changing his life) would’ve worked if the show had ended at any of these points, since Barney’s secret desire for romance & family wasn’t really explicitly explored until later. Marshall & Lily’s finale plotline (ascent into picket-fence bliss at the expense of their beloved status quo) works no matter what, mainly because that was their overarching plotline for the entire show. 

While the original ending concept was showing its wear as we approached the end of the actual S4, there was still some time to salvage it after this. The death knell came, not when Barney expressed romantic interest in Robin, but when Robin returned that interest. 

And this isn’t about to turn into a screed about how Swarkles should’ve been endgame! Upon rewatching the show, I actually like Swarkles a lot more in theory than I do in practice - the showrunners went out of their way to make the pairing seem great, but act toxic. They have FANTASTIC moments, but those moments are strung together by poor communication, self-destruction, and Robin at her most insufferable (her desperate attempts at getting Barney to like her again in the first half of S8 were... *shudders*). They, much the same as Ted and Robin, are clearly shown to Not Work. 

Even so, from the S4 finale onward, the show began to build toward Barney and Robin’s wedding, and that killed the planned ending. I say this began at the end of S4 because, as I said before, it isn’t until Robin explicitly returns Barney’s feelings that Swarkles becomes a threat to Ted/Robin - or, at least, a threat as perceived by the audience. Beyond the fact that this inadvertently turned Swarkles into a fan-favourite pairing, and was a large part of why the ending was poorly-received, it effectively changes the story. 

Before canon Robin/Barney, no one other than Ted was really presented as a viable romantic option for Robin. She wasn’t interested in getting serious with anyone else, she didn’t have that electric connection with anyone else. In S1′s “Zip, Zip, Zip”, Robin turns Barney down (despite him offering the casual, fun fling she purports to want) because she’s hung up on Ted. In S3, Robin sleeps with Barney but is uninterested in doing so again, and her attentions are quickly back on Ted (though at this point it’s more unspoken). No matter who Robin hooked up with, even when it was another principal character in the ensemble cast, the primary tension was always between her and Ted. But as soon as she develops real, romantic feelings for Barney, that tension is gone. 

And it... never really came back in the same way. 

Other than their FWB arrangement in S4′s “Benefits” and a couple of near-misses later, Robin and Ted are not involved again until the end of the series. In fact, in “Benefits”, neither Ted nor Robin are interested in taking their relapse further - they only want casual sex, and are so romantically disinterested in one another that Ted ends the arrangement for Barney’s sake in the same goddamn episode. Though Ted does express that he still has feelings for Robin as early as S5, at no point does she reciprocate in any meaningful way. All of the romantic tension between them after the fact is one-sided. Robin is no longer romantically interested in Ted by approximately the midpoint of Season 4, her attentions are firmly on Barney (and later, other serious romantic interests) by the end of Season 4, and she isn’t interested in Ted again until the final episodes of the show. 

The problem here isn’t that Robin had other serious romantic relationships, but that Ted was no longer a serious option in her mind for so much of the show’s run. Starting in S6, the wedding build starts in earnest, meaning that for four whole seasons (S6, S7, S8, and S9), the audience knows that someone is getting married. We’re told that Ted meets the Mother at the wedding, so there’s Zero chance of any of his relationships working out during that 4-season period - the tension is gone from his love-life, because we know that we’re waiting and we know what we’re waiting for. Suddenly, Robin and Barney are the center of the romantic tension of the show, and... Robin hasn’t been interested in Ted for a year. She and Barney are involved in a love quadrangle plot of which Ted is only an observer. By the time it’s confirmed, it’s painfully obvious that Robin is the bride at the foretold wedding, even with Barney’s red-herring girlfriends tossed in the mix. We spend all of Season 8 building up to the wedding. We spend all of Season 9 on the wedding weekend. Barney and Robin actually address the more toxic aspects of their relationship, and resolve to work on them (something Ted and Robin never actually did). We meet the Mother, and spend a season gleefully building up to the Mother meeting Ted. 

Remind me... why are we supposed to want Ted and Robin to get together in the end? 

There are other issues with the finale that bother me, but are not the focus of this rant as I don’t think they’re the Biggest Problem:  

The gang was always going to drift apart, but they seem to stay in frequent contact with one another in flash-forwards that we see earlier in the show. This is... not super supported by the finale. (Ex. If [roughly] kindergarten-age Luke and Penny drew pictures of times they hung out with Aunt Robin, why does the finale imply they barely got to know her until after their mother passed?)  

We knew for several seasons that Barney DID want a wife & kids, he was just afraid to admit it or pursue it because he thought he was too far gone. Yet we’re supposed to believe that his “relapse” after his breakup with Robin was him going back to the “real Barney”, and that despite having had 3 meaningful, serious romantic relationships throughout the series, one of which led to a marriage, he could not be arsed to so much as learn the name of the mother of his child. Despite getting 4 seasons of significant character development re: vulnerability, love, and relationships, he is supposed to have learned nothing, and changed not a whit. (NPH’s stance on this, that you may “want” Barney to change but some people don’t change, is... lame, imho, since we didn’t just want Barney to change, we were told and shown that he was actively changing, even if he wasn’t fully there yet.) 

On that same note, the fact that Barney didn’t “really” change until his daughter was born implies that things might’ve worked out with Robin if she’d been able to bear him children. Also, implies that his speech to his mom about how Robin means more to him than the possibility of having children was insincere or at least misguided. Gross. 

We all know about the Mother = Uterus shit, and while I don’t necessarily dislike the idea of the Mother having been dead all along, the idea that Ted and Robin couldn’t be happy together either until some other woman bore Ted’s children is also gross. 

In general, super sexist, and it’s not a twist when you directly contradict what you have told/shown your audience. It’s bad writing. 

But with all that said, if the show had ended somewhere between Seasons 1-4 (with minor to major tweaks - *reluctantly salutes*), the planned ending would have been fine. At least, it would’ve been fine with regard to Ted/Robin (and Barney’s character). The tension between them was still there, they still had audience support, and it made sense that, after all that buildup, Ted’s kids would be hoping for some closure to his tumultuous relationship with their Aunt. The problem is that, in the show as written... Ted and Robin do get closure. Ted, just like Tracy, is able to let go of the love that has consumed him and arrested his romantic development for so long, and that is what finally opens him up to meeting the love of his life. His relationship with Robin, even the unrequited mess it became later, not only led him to the Mother, it made him ready for the Mother. When he shuts Robin down in the penultimate episode of the show, Ted closes the door on that chapter of his life. That’s the closure. That’s the resolution of the Ted/Robin tension.  

And that’s a huge part of why the ending feels flaccid. They attempt to resurrect a dynamic that no longer holds any narrative weight - Robin pining after Ted in a happy relationship, lamenting what she’s lost, is not only something that we’ve seen before, it’s something we’ve seen Robin get over before. She didn’t realize “too late” what she had with Ted, or what she could have had. She had it, lost it, mourned it... then decided she didn’t want or need it again, and found something new with someone else. They wanted to throw the audience off the scent, but by killing all the tension between their endgame couple, and spending literal years building up relationships between other characters, they destroyed any momentum that that storyline had in the first place. They told a will-they/won’t-they story, and while there were moments where they subtly hinted that “they will”, more than half their text was dedicated to showing their audience, “no they won’t”. 

In the Season 2 episode “Something Blue”, Barney hears that Ted and Robin have something to tell everyone. When he begs them to tell him, they give him a story piece by piece detailing what happened. With each part of the story he gets, Barney guesses how it ends. Every time he guesses, Ted smiles wryly and tells him, “the story’s not over”. This implies to Barney and the audience that each of Barney’s guesses is wrong, because he doesn’t have all the information yet. 

Except... Barney does correctly guess the end of the story. He guesses that Ted and Robin broke up, Ted smiles wryly, says “the story’s not over”, and proceeds to continue to tell it, only for the story to, in fact, end with his and Robin’s breakup. 

This plot is emblematic of the problem with the end of How I Met Your Mother. One of the biggest running themes of the show is that until a story is over, you can’t turn it into a narrative. You don’t have the full picture, you don��t know who the bad or good guy is, you don’t know what story you’re living. Barney doesn’t know what story he’s being told until it’s over - except he does. And because Ted isn’t finished telling the whole story, he implies to Barney that he’s wrong. He throws him off, so he can end the story on his own terms. That’s what the showrunners of HIMYM did, too. They wanted so badly to tell the story as they conceived it, but in order to keep that ending as a twist, they couldn’t telegraph it too obviously. This, to them, meant throwing the audience so far off the scent of their plan that they obscured their plan, that they deflated the central narrative, made it look like there was no way it would happen, because we were being made to look in another direction. No, we clearly didn’t have the whole story. But we had the story that was unfolding before us, one where Robin didn’t want Ted romantically anymore, one where Barney was trying so, so hard to be better, one where Ted needed to let go in order to be happy. And that story doesn’t feel complete when it ends the way that it does, because the ending we got is the end of the story we saw in Season 1. 

The story we saw in Season 1 was of a man who hopelessly pined after a woman who loved him back, but wasn’t in a place to reciprocate the way he wanted. Years later, they reconnect and are finally able to make it work. That’s the story that HIMYM thought they were telling. But, because they never got cancelled and got free reign to tell this story for as long as they wanted, and because they didn’t want us to guess that darn twist, they gave us a whole whack of misdirections, plot threads, and character growth that ultimately gets nullified to make way for the ending of the “real” story. There is no momentum carrying us to the finale as planned, because the finale as planned was meant to be the ending to a much shorter tale. 

Everything else was just filler. 

#how I met your mother #himym #himym finale #himym meta #listen this essay is a rambly mess and I apologize for fucking nothing #this was meant to be my last meta of the decade but I forgot to finish it oops

[13eyond13]

Comparing Manga!Near to Anime!Near

Sure! I actually found Near’s character very wooden and boring the first time I watched the anime, and then was very pleasantly surprised at how interesting and full of personality he seemed when I read the manga later, so I think comparing Near’s character in both sources is a great idea. I’ll outline the major differences I found between them below.

(This post is using the official English translation of the manga and the English subtitles from Netflix for the screenshots, by the way):

1. MELLO AND NEAR’S PERSONALITIES AND MOTIVES ARE DIMINISHED IN THE ANIME’S VERSION OF THE WAMMY’S CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK:

This is a scene that was changed slightly in the anime, and at great detriment to both Mello and Near’s characters and the audience's immediate understanding of them, I think. When we are first introduced to these two in the manga it shows a few panels of Mello being a bully at Wammy’s who gets right into the center of the action, and Near being a loner who is invited to participate but prefers to do puzzles by himself:

The anime begins directly at their meeting with Roger in the office, so we know nothing about how these two normally behave at the orphanage or how their peers perceive them / interact with them:

When asked to work together Mello refuses and explains to Roger that he and Near have always been at odds. The manga shows a flashback to Mello studying very hard to surpass Near's scores and always failing to do so, which sets up his inferiority complex and his strong work ethic. It also shows Near being surrounded by admiring students, which indicates he was probably well-liked despite being a loner, and shows that he’s very competent, the most successful student in the school:

 The anime simply has Mello say that they've always been at odds and competing with each other. Mello describes himself as overly emotional and Near as logical and cool-headed, and then they just leave it at that.

It isn’t until much later in the anime -- after the kidnapping, when Light finally finds out about Wammy’s -- that the difference in Near’s and Mello’s academic ranking is even mentioned at all:

I think the manga gives a much better sense of the successors’ personalities and motives right away than the anime does. All we see in the anime is that Near seemingly doesn't give a shit about L's death, nor care much about how the successor choice is made, and that Mello is temperamental and thinks that since Near’s unemotional he will be able to better solve the Kira case. I remember finding Near extremely cold and wooden the first time I watched it, because his reaction to L’s death is so callous, and none of that other stuff about him was shown or explained.

2. THE SPY IN THE SPK IS TAKEN OUT OF THE ANIME STORYLINE:

In the manga once the NPA Director is kidnapped by the mafia Near starts to suspect there is a mole in the SPK who would've leaked their plans to the kidnappers (which there is, Ill Ratte):

In the anime Ratte's role as the spy was cut out of the storyline altogether, so Near just immediately figures it out and then orders his FBI agent to cooperate with Soichiro:

I’m guessing they cut that spy bit out of the anime due to time constraints, but Near being betrayed by one of his employees and being shrewd enough to suspect it adds an extra little layer of vulnerability and sympathy to his character beyond just “smart, blase guy who never loses his cool.”

3. NEAR NO LONGER SUCKS AT DARTS IN THE ANIME:

The scene of Near and Light first talking on the phone and Near calling Light “L number two” is basically the same between the two sources:

Except that in the manga Near is shown to absolutely suck at darts, lol:

In the anime Near is just sitting there building a basic tower out of dice:

Little detail changes like this might not seem that consequential, but I'd argue they make all the difference; sucking at darts adds an endearing aspect to Near beyond just “humourless successor of L who sits around playing with toys a lot.”

I love it because it seems like exactly the opposite of what you'd expect them to show in order to get the audience on his side and believing he's L's super-competent successor, you know? It made me laugh and feel affectionate toward him in the manga, because he looks so dang serious about it; plus I love that he sticks with it for so long despite clearly not being very good!

*(side note: Tumblr’s image uploader glitched out at this point, so unfortunately the rest of the post won’t have any visuals, apologies:)*

4. THERE IS NO “WAS HE EATING CHOCOLATE?” SCENE IN THE ANIME:

Near never detains Sayu and Soichiro after the kidnapping to interrogate them in the anime, so sadly we don’t get that hilarious little manga moment where he deduces it was Mello behind the kidnapping because of the sound of him eating chocolate over the phone. 

5. NEAR’S RESPONSE TO THE SPK DEATH SEEMS LESS EMOTIONAL IN THE ANIME:

His reaction to most of the SPK getting murdered is different in anime, and I would argue he comes off much less sorrowful or shaken by the deaths. He seems pretty matter-of-fact about it, and almost like he'd predicted and planned for it to happen that way. The main emotional reaction we see is his dice tower falling and his face looking intense/angry. 

In the manga Near is caught off-guard by the deaths; he laments that he didn’t find the spy in the SPK before it was too late, and then he says to Light: “I was somewhat prepared for this the moment YOU gave the notebook away to the kidnappers, but it sure does hurt.” He is shown looking very sad about it. Light asks Near to share information, and Near has to deliberate for a while internally about whether he wants to trust Light with any information about Mello or himself before he agrees.

In the anime Near calmly predicts the deaths right before they happen, then tells Light that they died, then says: “L, you helplessly handed over the notebook.” Light asks him if he would have done anything differently if he was in charge, and Near says: “No, with that kind of preparation it would’ve been taken either way. There’s no point in us arguing. Let’s help each other and tell each other what we know. I have some idea of who the culprit may be.” MUCH LESS EMOTIONAL, and a bit overly willing to immediately volunteer information about Wammy’s and Mello to Light.

6. NEAR COMFORTING AND INFORMING THE SPK ABOUT MELLO AFTER THEY ARE DISBANDED BY THE GOV’T IS CUT OUT OF THE ANIME:

In the manga Near spends a good deal of time explaining Mello’s thought process to his team and warning them about his dangerousness before they ever meet up with him. He tells Halle in particular to watch out, because he believes Mello will target her home because she’s the most vulnerable, and then says to whole group: 

“If you’re scared, you don’t have to participate. But please don’t leave the headquarters. I’m scared, so I’m not going to go outside.” 

This display of thoughtful consideration for his team’s feelings and safety and his honesty about his own fears is not shown at all in the anime, as it skips directly from the news of the SPK being dissolved to Mello breaking into Halle’s apartment and taking her hostage to the SPK HQ.

7.  NEAR SEEMS A LITTLE MORE EXCITED BY MELLO’S ARRIVAL IN THE MANGA THAN HE DOES THE ANIME:

And there was a more in-depth explanation given in the manga about why he continued to defend Mello and sympathize with him. But even so, I would say these scenes are for the most part very similar between the two sources. The anime did a great job adding some lovely stained-glass visuals behind the boys and such here, too!

8. THERE IS NO SCENE OF NEAR AND MELLO WORKING TOGETHER TO QUESTION MOGI IN THE ANIME:

This is a real shame, because it’s basically the most fun interaction these two have and the closest they get to collaborating in a personal way after their dramatic reunion at the HQ (even though it could also be seen as Mello just attempting to taunt/use Near, but Near doesn’t seem to take it that way). Near’s interactions with Mogi and Mello are weirdly cute in this scene, as he often compliments them on their impressiveness and such, so it’s too bad that the anime chopped it out!

9. THE ANIME PUTS A MORE POSITIVE SPIN ON NEAR AND MELLO’S COLLABORATION AGAINST KIRA:

It’s left very ambiguous in the story if Mello was trying to save Near or beat him by kidnapping Takada. The manga takes a typically unsentimental view of Mello’s intentions, and the anime takes a more hopeful view of them.

In the the manga, Near says this: “I find it hard to believe that Mello thought that far ahead. But I am sure that he was always trying to get ahead of me. And that’s not all. Even if he didn’t surpass me, Mello always said that he was going to be number one, and that he was going to be better than me and L. But I always knew I would never be able to surpass L. It could be that I lacked the action and he lacked the calm; and even though we couldn’t surpass the one we admired on our own, together we can stand with L. Together we can surpass L.”

In the anime, Near says this: “I believe Mello knew in his heart that alone we aren’t able to reach our goal, to surpass L. But together... together we can stand with L. Together we can surpass L!”

10. NEAR’S PHILOSOPHICAL SPEECH IN THE WAREHOUSE IS CUT OUT OF THE ANIME:

It’s probably my favourite thing he says in the entire manga, so that’s too bad! He says it in response to Light’s passionate Kira monologue.

In the manga, after Near shuts Light down, Light says: “Near, you're wrong. I'm the icon of justice now.”

Near replies: “You may be right. I'm no different than you. I believe in what I think is right, and believe that to be righteous. Nobody can tell what is right and what is wrong, what is righteous and what is evil. Even if there is a god, and I had his teachings before me, I would think it through and decide if that was right or wrong myself.”

I loved getting these little deeper thoughts from Near in the manga; it made him come off less cold and uncaring and more human and insightful to me.

11. NEAR HAS A PLAN TO LOCK LIGHT UP FOR LIFE IN THE MANGA THAT ISN’T MENTIONED IN THE ANIME:

When Light tries to stall for time by attempting to tempt Near into testing the Death Note, in the manga Near replies:

“Light Yagami. Kira. I have no plans to kill you. I really don't care if the notebook is real or not anymore. From the very beginning, my goal was to capture Kira. All I want is for everything to become clear and for Kira to be captured. You're as good as arrested now, and I'll confiscate the notebook Mr. Aizawa has. That should be enough. And I will not announce Kira's arrest or the existence of the notebook to the public. I believe that everybody here can keep that secret. I'll take full responsibility for locking you up in a place where nobody will find you until you die."

I find this both refreshing and scary, because it shows Near’s definitely not doing this for his own glory or his ego (like Mello and L might), but it’s also a very ruthless and scary side of Near that adds a lot of spice to his character! I can’t imagine much of a worse fate for Light than that had Ryuk not gotten to him first, yikes.

12. THE EPILOGUE CHAPTER IS LEFT OUT OF THE ANIME:

In which Matsuda and Ide speculate about Near possibly “cheating” with the Death Note (aka being behind Mikami messing up with checking for tampering and dying in prison ten days later and such). Near is shown doing well as the new L, playing with toys and eating some of Mello’s trademark chocolate and collaborating with the NPA on their new work. Which is nice!

So in conclusion to this massive post, I would say that most of the characters in the second half of the story kinda got shafted by the anime because of how the plot was condensed; it didn’t help that the animation portrayed the subtler characters like Near in a less dynamic/expressive way than the original manga art did, either. Despite what it may sound like, I do love the anime a heck of a lot, but I think people will probably miss out on a lot of Near’s charm if they never get to experience the original manga version of him, as well!

#death note #near #mello #light yagami #long post #meta #p #i am so mad that the image uploader crapped out #i took like dozens of screencaps i can't use #but i guess you get the gist of things #there are probably other things i missed too

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: [Let us assume he has gone back to school now and this was a weekend affair] Ali: You forgot your 🕯 Ali: expect it in the post, minus the disappointed note from Ro I've taken out Ali: ✈️ trips not guilt trips, welcome Tommy: leave it in, LOVE to hear what she's gotta say about why I'M the one being a holy show Ali: You aren't respecting the sanctity of her offering, is very much the point and gist Ali: she put more letters to it, as standard Tommy: 'course she did Ali: It does mean a lot to her Ali: but yeah, nice to have my 📅 to myself again, can't lie Tommy: meant so much she fucked off soon as the 🎂 candles were out Ali: You know she isn't the party 'til dawn sort Ali: anyway, they'd be coming in for morning service 😅 Tommy: I know it's her party & she can 😭 if she wants to Ali: If I'd known that was the theme, could've made party bags with 🧅 & 🧻 Ali: well, at least you were in your element 🕺 and you kept Meena and Carly entertained Ali: the hostess not being overly concerned herself, like Tommy: this family's hostess with the mostest has & always will be me, honey Tommy: what else do they teach me at this school, like? Ali: I had no idea you were at finishing school, my apologies Ali: how's things with keeping a man then, Holly Housewife? Tommy: Why stop at strutting with 📚 on our heads when we could do it in 🩰 perfectly en pointe, carrying a sulky ballerina all the while? Basically a Latin motto Tommy: & yet I still can't keep a man, cheers for the reminder Ali: Maybe now you're of age they introduce the final string to your bow Ali: quadruple threat = 🎤🕺🎭🍆 Tommy: 😂🤞🙏 Tommy: stole your girl regardless, tell her to call me when she's slept off the festivities Ali: No doubt she will when she's between the next couple of parties 😜 Ali: your girl is here actually, helping Ro 'organise' her presents Ali: dunno where she parked her 🎃 Tommy: I'll join Fraze in the red corner 😍💋💔🤬🎯👿🥤🤡🥵🛑💘 Tommy: those dolls do go walk abouts if you don't keep a 👀 but obviously she was 🤞🙏 I was still there Ali: He might misconstrue that and come to fight for her honour Ali: 🤞🙏 she's in LDN too, naturally Ali: lots of them are haunted, but that last part of your sentence there is the MOST 😱 ever Ali: it's weird when you approach anything fuck boy like Tommy: miscommunication is his thing™ no hard feels or feelings full stop, 'course 💪🚫😭🚫😍 Tommy: what can I say? being back DOES things to me Tommy: it's all the positive masculine role models this family has Ali: Guess it beats a total lack of @Joseph Ali: though he sent her some book about musical theory so he still manages to be the favourite somehow 🤷 Ali: and hey, dad is the best Tommy: v catty & then cuddly of you, Kit Tommy: he doesn't respond to MY efforts at being a daddy's girl exactly the same way somehow 🤷 Ali: we're both living up to what's expected then 😼 Ali: could just be I'm better at it than you though Ali: if your ego will allow it Tommy: can't let our sister fly that flag alone, like Tommy: as for who's better at kissing the arse of authority figures, don't need to dignify that with an answer 'cause my school report will Tommy: you ain't never been a pleasure to have in class Ali: I might genuinely have to shoot myself if anyone ever said anything so asinine about me so you're right Ali: that would be such a waste of potential, not until I've lead a more scandal-filled existence Tommy: you could respect the hustle Tommy: it's getting me 🩰 perks Tommy: disciplined is the head that wears the 👑 hoe Ali: I know all about discipline, trust me Tommy: we've all read 50 shades, you can't take it as gospel Tommy: Ro could write a better bdsm bibe when she's done at church Tommy: bible* Ali: It's all fun and games 'til I walk in on her flagellating herself Ali: how are we explaining that to the shrinks Tommy: that she misunderstood a more sexy f word? Ali: we don't want to look like we're trying to lock her up for that Ali: way too retro, bro Tommy: She wants to be catholic Tommy: I didn't make the rules Ali: No, then da really would hate you Ali: she's got worse Tommy: Yeah Tommy: I know, no amount of drama from the golden couple could detract Ali: not that I haven't heard enough about that though Ali: guess there's too much to put in a passive-aggressive note Tommy: 🙄🥱😴 Tommy: She wasn't even THAT late & tbh I wouldn't have blamed her for doing a Joe no show Ali: I would've understood if she was upset when she wasn't coming Ali: I am when Joe doesn't, whatever Ali: but I think she was actually MORE upset that she did come in the end, and not just because she was messy, but because Ro thought she wouldn't Ali: I don't get it, they're complicated, always have been but ??? Tommy: she can't hold being a good sister over her, like you can't me being the most fabulous brother in existence 🏆 Tommy: the fuck ups are more fun to bring to a 🥊 Ali: I guess that's more likely than them being all 💕💞 Ali: but fucking hell, does it hurt to hope Tommy: it's hurting you 😿 Tommy: she'll be too hangry to hope Ali: I have no hope or agenda for your 🏆 or 👑 dear brother Ali: but seriously Ali: what does she want Tommy: like you said ???? Tommy: there's every chance I'm bringing too much McKenna magic to the motives & she don't wanna bear a grudge til the end of her days Ali: because it doesn't sound like her at all Ali: if you can't be honest in the DMs where can you, eh, to quote that romcom Ali: fucked if I know what to do about it right now though Ali: maybe I need to sleep off the festivities, or get something to eat Tommy: long as you're not so hysterical you run into the path of an oncoming car, to recall another faithful role of hers Ali: have you adapted that for the stage? Ali: get 5 of you to be the 🚗 Tommy: dibs 'cause I can't do the accent Tommy: not that loads of 'em posh kids can either Ali: they'll have spent enough time gentrifying the east end to have it down, offensively so but all adds to the hysterics Tommy: I'll pitch it then 💡 Tommy: go down better than her 🎤🎵 Ali: better than her when she got hit by the car, like Ali: give me credit or I'll turn up and make a SCENE Tommy: like I wouldn't be LIVING for that Tommy: if we are being honest in the DMS Ali: I'll work on my RICKKAAAAAAAAAAAY Ali: maybe can convince Ro to be Sharon Tommy: hang around your ma in law & you'll ace it in no time Ali: Ha Ali: she'd accept Peggy, not Pat Tommy: fair, Laoise's ma's the one more likely to express herself with big earrings & animal prints Tommy: but I don't know if Sam Mitchell is a favourable role for Carls, what did she ever even do? Ali: Are you trying to tell me it's NOT a look? 🤔 Ali: or that you rate Laoise's mum? Ali: The character, nothing, the OG actress lost her nose so we're all agreed that's a no Tommy: I'd rate seeing her da on the doorstep in nothing but a bow tie for how mortified she'd be when I uploaded it Tommy: Grant's also no, he knocked Martine on her arse way before that car Tommy: but if she's Phil, you're Sharon so that's a yeah from me, like Ali: Don't, her dad always gave me those vibes Ali: and you ain't actually on the street still to have to witness that 🤮 Ali: I don't know how she'll feel about going bald, I'll float it gently before getting out the clippers Tommy: Do Rock's while you're there, he looks feral Tommy: even that nonce wouldn't have him Ali: You know his ears would get chapped Ali: hair is essential or he'll fly away on the breeze Ali: and we'd all be devastated, obvs Tommy: don't start me thinking about that scene in Dumbo, cheers very much Tommy: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ali: Such a depressing film Ali: disney gives me bad vibes Tommy: the park is creepy & you won't catch me there Tommy: whether or not Walt was a Nazi it's still a nah from me Ali: Wee bit concerning that emotional manipulation and forced fun trumps facism/literal Nazis for you but we'll 🤐 Ali: ma is in enough of a mood and she'll only direct it at me so nah Tommy: well his racism is disputed depending whether you're in camp 😇 saint him 🙏 or camp cast him into the hellfire 👿 Tommy: the forced fun & emotional manipulation is just facts Ali: 👿 advocate Tommy: I'm gonna go to hell 🤞 he's an ally Ali: 😬 Ali: it's a punishment, not a holiday Tommy: it'll be a grand hol for my pores Tommy: love a sauna sesh Ali: that London smog is not it Ali: how black is your snot? Tommy: as Ro's soul 💀 Ali: Thomas Tommy: Alison Ali: 🛑 it Tommy: she'd 🖤 to hear it but FINE Ali: you're an enabler, it is known Ali: not the kind of encouragement I'm after tah Tommy: enabling you & your lady love to have a good time, yeah 🕺💃 Tommy: & I fully expected her to turn up with a pet raven is all I'm saying Ali: the best was made of it by all, despite it all Ali: even her, in her way Tommy: despite Kayne appearing 🤵🥀 & all in her case Ali: yeah Ali: ugh Ali: he's harmless enough, bless him Tommy: she'd beg to differ right now Tommy: you're gonna wanna hide the 🍄🍄💀 til she calms down Ali: You don't need to tell me Ali: I think he's just really oblivious Ali: like all lads Ali: it wasn't you know...assaulty Tommy: It's not his fault she's team true love's kiss & he AIN'T it Tommy: who could EVER measure up to the 💭💞 Ali: standards, cool Ali: unrealistic expectations, less so Ali: but I can't really advocate for reality at this point in the game Tommy: You don't need to tell me, sis Ali: you're team turn-a-stage-kiss-real, yeah Ali: it's more realistic than fairytales, anyway, look at strictly Tommy: I'm team when's my life been a shitty made for netflix flick never mind a 🐸🤴📖 Tommy: crushing realism ftw Ali: 💔 Ali: If you didn't have a tragic love-life to complain about, you'd be too insufferable 🤴💩 Tommy: comforting Tommy: I'd HATE to morph into Fraze of a few years back Ali: I'll let you know if you start getting freckles Tommy: I'd know if I woke up with those brows Tommy: nowhere to hide, like Ali: 👺 Tommy: 😂 Ali: What are you getting ma for her bday/have you got already (suckup) Tommy: I left it there if you wanna find & shake the 🎁 Ali: Wow, you really didn't wanna pay postage that bad huh Ali: I'll see if I can 🔮 Tommy: with what? I'm skint after buying hers & Ro's Tommy: & it'll be 🎅🎄🎁 before too long Ali: that's what people really mean when they say dance don't pay Ali: gifting an interpretive dance is nothing but pretentious and unwelcome Ali: I can bodge together however many crafts I need and save my dolla Tommy: been there, tried that one Tommy: so much for your so called genius Tommy: ain't even thought of earning any by busting out the 🎅🎄🎵 classics for a busking sesh, works with 🩰 too I'll have you know Ali: 'til you knock over an old lady and have to leg it, like Ali: and if you hadn't noticed, I've been a little busy making a replica Ro, tah Ali: my creative juices are juiced right now Tommy: I'll make it look like part of the show & have the punters eating out of my palm when I catch & twirl any 👵 before they touch ground Tommy: yeah well you've got time from now, fair game on all things yule from Nov 1st Ali: 👌👌 clearly the LDN ones are more receptive because they're vicious 'round here with their 👜s and I'm only trying to give them the tea they ordered Ali: if ANYONE should advocate for Christmas not dragging, like Tommy: it's Irish dancing or fuck all back there, 365 🌧 or ⛅ Tommy: little girls scam every bit of that trade Ali: ironic when it's catch these hands in every other aspect Ali: so you'll fit right in, eh Ali: feel traumatised yet? Tommy: I'll do my best, as ever Ali: 🤴 Ali: meanwhile ma will have to make do with whatever IOU present I can knock up Ali: maybe I'll babysit, that's never not gonna work Tommy: she was on about going out 🍽 wasn't she? Tommy: Carls will never not be down either Ali: get him to make her a cake Ali: sorted Ali: providing he washes his hands...a full hose down may be necessary actually Tommy: she's survived the 🧁 he brings back from school & we've all seen the state of him at day's end Ali: yeah, cheers for the immunity boost little 🦠 Ali: fair, I'm pretty sure we put some weird and wonderful things into our bakes at his age and no one died Ali: Laoise nearly but you know Tommy: close but no 🚬 Tommy: typical of that bitch Ali: sure a 🙏 was said to finish the job at mass Tommy: if you see her ma mascara running in an lbd, I demand to be the first to know Ali: I'll pap her in her time of distress, it's fine Ali: I can hide up trees for HOURS if needs must Tommy: I'm not above piggybacking on the 'tragedy' to get better grades or a hol Tommy: do your part, like Ali: she won't fall for 🍄 again Ali: her brother might if Ro puts 'em in her gob Tommy: 💞 Ali: more of a mood than without Ali: add a little danger Tommy: she'd appreciate the drama more than anything he could ever do Ali: 💔 Tommy: nah, we're not shipping that Tommy: not today Ali: You gotta make some bad decisions before you make the right ones Tommy: a bad decision was the colour of her 👗 Tommy: the last thing that girl needs is a boy right now Ali: Okay you can't come for anyone vis a vis colour, boy Ali: even if I still see it when I close my eyes after however many weeks sewing Ali: but you may have a point re. a boy Ali: just, some socialisation wouldn't hurt Ali: and as far as they go, he's harmless Tommy: 'Course I do, she can barely exist in front of us Tommy: if they went on a date, what's she gonna do, order a glass of water? Ali: like you haven't seen her fake eat a plate of food Ali: it's only noticeable to all us that she's not actually putting any in her mouth Tommy: 🔮✨ Tommy: if he's TRULY harmless he don't deserve to be harmed by her attitude Tommy: which anyone else not bound by family love & loyalty would call something loads harsher Ali: Don't Ali: I feel bad enough for Meena sometimes Tommy: @ Carly too & we all know it Ali: Yeah, Carly can handle it though, she's mostly unphased even if it is a total thing 🙄 Tommy: She's a 👸😇 I doubt Kayne is that pure of ❤️ or intentions tbh Tommy: & Meena can handle anything so Ali: he's deffo a virgin though Ali: which yes, makes for more desperation, but he can't be that forceful if he dunno what he wants, you know Ali: yeah but God knows why she wants to come 'round here and get more of it at times Tommy: No shit, Kit but everyone's seen a porno, it's not the 70s Tommy: dress for it all you like Tommy: maybe she wants to get out of her own 🏡 Ali: everyone also knows it's bullshit Ali: whatever else she's got that much about her Tommy: does he though? Tommy: all I'm saying Ali: either way, it isn't like she's going to have a miraculous change of heart Ali: we all saw how well it went Tommy: Yeah but what if it makes her heart set on finding someone else to play 🤴 Tommy: you'd know better than me what goes on in her head Ali: She's 15, I don't see how any of us can say or do anything to stop her if that's what she does want Tommy: 15 technically Tommy: 🤷 Ali: If we can't make her eat, you know Ali: what hope do we have for anything beyond that Tommy: 0 Tommy: & it's fucked Ali: Yep Ali: but it's not as if that bombshell has only just been dropped, I guess Ali: we'll carry on doing what we can Tommy: 🔮✨ Ali: ✌💚

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E4 (Preggers)

And from this moment onwards, Kurt Hummel proceeded to steal every single damn scene he was in. I’m actually unironically excited for this one. I didn’t think that could still happen! Here goes!

I will always love this Single Ladies scene. I will always love season 1′s Tina/Kurt friendship. Also, Brittany’s here, inexplicably. Did he pay her for this? In Pixie sticks, perhaps? Or Monopoly money?

“Kurt’s Superstar Playlist” is the most adorable name his playlist could possibly have. All we get to see on it are 4 Beyonce songs, and 1 Gwen Stefani - but it’s a cute little insight.

God sometimes I forget how cute Jenna Ushkowitz is and then this scene really slaps me round the face with it huh!!!

WHY are you filming this, Kurt? What are you using this for? I’d love to know. I’d say it’s just to check out his own dancing technique but it’s in black and white… Where are you posting this!!!

I want that swingy-suspended chair thing he has in his room sooooo bad

Ok now the fact that this is being filmed is giving me fic ideas…

BURT HUMMEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BURT F U C K I N G HUMMEL BABIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God the look of fear on all three of their faces when they see Burt??? Don’t you worry kids he’ll come around real soon…

Burt’s approving nod when he yanks on Kurt’s unitard… God I love this man.

The LOOK on Kurt’s FACE when Brittany says he’s on the football team… I can hear his inner monologue like “bitch we may be in the basement but I will make a window to throw you out of”

Kurt just wants to relate to his old man so bad :( Baby boy he’s already so damn proud of you!!! Also that LAUGH.

He really just slapped Tina’s ass! And she completely rolls with it, the absolute champion. Also, the subtitles Netflix provided me with were (smacks bottom) and I just love that.

Oh god it immediately cuts to the WORST scene. Terri learning to give birth. William Schuester trying to help. Just let me perish, RIB?

Shout out to Kendra’s actress for somehow managing to make her character even more despicable than Terri!

Actually the shit she says to Will here is almost valid… All three of them are fucking awful huh!

Seriously why are Kendra and Terri the best actresses on this whole show? It’s the only reason I care about this fake pregnancy arc anymore…

The teacher’s lounge is always either an arid, desolate wasteland, or the only watering hole within 100 miles where all the thirsty ass teachers congregate. Take your pick.

Why does Will pretend to hesitate before going to sit with Ken and Emma? They’re the only people we ever see you talk to dude!!!

Ken with the psychoanalysis, wow. Just hit her right there buddy!

THAT’S HOW SUE C’s IT!!!

Rachel really just EXPECTS every solo… I almost forgot how bad she was when she started. “Maria is MY part!” Not anymore!! Kudos to Lea Michele for managing to make Rachel really sound like she thinks she’s the victim when she really isn’t.

Tina’s face… She was seriously happy. Season 1 Rachel SUCKS for even trying to take this from her. She IS talented. She IS ready!

Everybody else knows it’s a fat load of BS… Kurt lowers his sunglasses to look at her like she’s a bug beneath his shoe. Also, Kurt, why sunglasses? You don’t start getting hangovers ‘til next episode, sweetie!!

“You’re trying to punish me” I think being a total martyr might be one of Rachel’s worst traits early on in the series. I get that performing is her deal, but she can’t even take a second to at least fake being happy for Tina? Unreal.

Everybody else just moving straight on with it is hilarious. They’re all so happy for Tina and don’t give a shit about Rachel’s melodrama, which I’m living for!

I wanna be all “Finn’s an arrogant bastard for assuming Kurt wanted to ask him to prom, grr!!” But then I remember Kurt’s canonically in love with him at this point, so I’ll let him off this time

Kurt’s devious little smile when he asks Finn for a favour… I love one (1) boy!

AHHH THE TRYOUT SCENE. INCREDIBLE. This might honestly be my favourite scene from season 1. It’s definitely up there, anyway.

Cute brotherly Furt moments. Finn putting that helmet on for him. “Red’s your colour!” And they DON’T make Kurt get all giggly about Finn just being nice to him? Kurt just telling him he’s really cool? Pure.

“Rehearsing–” “PRACTICING!”

Finn tells Kurt he’ll be murdered if he uses his music and Kurt comes straight back with that rum chocolate souffle line. This show would be NOTHING without Kurt.

And THIS is what I mean when I say Kurt was a Gryffindor from the get-go. Even now he’s refusing to be anything less than himself for anybody, even the jackasses that harass him every day when he’s on their pitch.

Shut the fuuuuuuuck up, Puck!

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.” What did we do to deserve him?

His starting pose… His hips… The footwork… “That was good, right?” His whole ATTITUDE. THE ROYAL WAVE.

As if the TV network would cancel Sue’s news segment for having a few Cheerios in the glee club?

Oh god. Quinn telling Finn she’s pregnant. The fucking cinematography here… The camera work, the audio mixing…

“Think of the mail… Think of the MAIL…”

Did Quinn seriously just say “Ask Jeeves” told her the hot tub could knock her up? I mean, I know she’s lying, but ASK JEEVES? That should’ve tipped Finn off more than anything else��

Damn. Season 1 really had the power to get me shook, laughing, and then crying in the span of 30 seconds? Or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand seeing Diana cry…  

Sandy lets his kettle whistle for far too long, it stresses me out

Sue just… Offers this fired man a job? I know she’s got Figgins by the balls over the stockings commercial, but come on, surely the council would get involved or whatever???

Rachel sucks right now but god damn it Taking Chances gives me chills every time I hear her sing it… And she’s so cute when they tell her she got the lead!!!

If musical stuff is so frowned upon socially here, how are they expecting to get a full cast for Cabaret? Especially if NONE of the other glee kids are interested?

And there’s no funding for the arts but they have a whole ballet studio on school property…?

Sign #12 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He just straight up tells Rachel that he’s the only person that likes her, which is wrong for so many reasons

He does have a point about Rachel needing to take a step back sometimes though. I hate that she’s so awful sometimes that I have to agree with Schuester.

He’s not HURTING you Rachel, he’s giving a chance to grow to somebody else!

Jenna did a beautiful job with this solo… Tina’s so cute too! I love her singing this sweet song with her goth aesthetic

This scene between Mr Schue and Tina was almost sweet BUT:

Sign #13 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He did NOT need to touch Tina’s shoulders, or get that close, or whisper to comfort her.

Don’t take one for the team, Tina! Take one for YOURSELF!

I’ll let him hugging Finn slide because, wow, Finn’s breaking my heart right now…

However I will not let it slide that he’s seemingly taken him off campus for lunch…???? Dude, take him to your office. This is creepy as all hell even if he has good intentions…

“I got this at the school library. Did you know that you can just… Borrow books from there?” Protect him. Protect him at ALL costs. He was so genuinely inspired by watching Kurt make those goals that he went to a library for the first time in his LIFE oh my goodness

Oh god. The camera panning from a random father and his young son, over to Mr Schue looking at Finn? HE’S NOT YOUR SON MY GUY, HE IS YOUR PUPIL. PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES!!!

Terri and Will are both brushing their teeth with no toothpaste… Freaks…

Have I mentioned how much I adore those little background choir soundbites between scenes? They did so much for this show…

SHUT! UP! PUCK! Drink your fucking character development juice already!!!

Kurt just casually dropping in Sun Tzu’s Art of War… He just knows that. He’s prepared to just drop that in conversation. Son, why are you so ready for combat,

Also the way Kurt commands their attention? They can rag on him all they want but they all know he’s legit…

Look at all these doofuses in their football gear busting a move. Look at Kurt sat at the front just watching, judging, as he was born to do

MIKE! KILLING! IT! I love that they let us see a sneak peek of his moves… Serious HC that Kurt making the football team dance is the first time that Mike really got to show off his skills

Kurt shooing Mr Schue away like that gives me life!!! Sit down old man

“All right boys…”  And they all look so concerned behind him lmao… “Oh– SNEAK ATTACK back to the ring…” Mike’s trying so hard to keep in time. I love him. OH and there’s Matt! Most valid glee club member simply because he never says anything.

“Comb through the hair… SLAP THE BUTT!” And they’re all trying so hard… 10/10

“I’m your best friend,” says Puck, to the boy he has been consistently fucking over for four (4) episodes, and presumably many years prior…

I really do hate Puck for the first part of this season but god damn does he have some lines. “’Sup, MILF?” “Well, CALL the Vatican! We got ourselves another ImMaCuLaTe CoNcEpTiOn!”

I remember the first time I heard the term “Lima Loser” but I didn’t know the show was set in a place called Lima (I would’ve been, like, 9) and I thought it was lime-a-loser. Like he was going to have limes thrown at him. And it was this big, serious threat…

How the FUCK did Terri get into Quinn’s car? Why is that never addressed? Like, ever? Quinn doesn’t even ASK?

Do this many people turn up to American high school sports events irl??? And do they really play the national anthem? That must get old

Why are all these football players 30… I’m so thirsty for realistic casting…

BURT’S HERE TO SEE HIS SON!!! We love a proud dad.

“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!!!” And now he’s doing high kicks. Kurt’s doing the absolute MOST.

I will never understand the rules of American football… And I mean NEVER.

“Ring on it on three” I love that it has a code name. And they were all too busy being dudebros to call it Single Ladies…

The one dude on the opposite team who starts boogying along is the real MVP

NEVERMIND. BURT BOPPING IN THE STANDS IS THE MVP!!!

“Can I pee first?” Legendary

Burt just going “he’s so little…” In the middle of the silent crowd…

MY BOY NEEDS HIS MUSIC!

BURT’S SO FUCKING PROUD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING??? YOU CAN HEAR HIM SHOUTING “THAT IS MY BOY!!! THAT IS MY SON!!!” THROUGH THE WHOLE CROWD!!!!

I feel like Puck seeing Finn and Quinn kiss and then the crowd going silent as he walks away is meant to make me feel… Bad for him…? But we’ve only ever seen him be mean to Quinn, really. You’ve got to earn those moments!

Ah… The skincare routine. He’s thriving.

Burt! Hummel! Is! Proud! Of! His! Son!

Burt… I’m pretty sure he assumed you wished his mother was alive. As opposed to her corpse being at the big game.

Oh boy here it comes…… Chris looks SO young here. So scared. So vulnerable. The way he slightly stutters… He nailed this scene. So much.

He’s gay!

He knows.

Do they make sensible heels in sizes for three year olds…? Asking for a dad

The raw EMOTION on Kurt’s face. It’s killing me.

This is the starting point… “I’m not in love with the idea, but I love you.” And it only gets better from there…

And he THANKS his SON. He’s sure. He’s so sure, Burt, and you are going to be so proud of him forever.

Finn gives Quinn that blanket his dad gave him when he was a baby… Did she give it back? I fucking hope so…

You tell him, Finn! Puck IS an asshole!

MIKE’S IN GLEE!!! SO IS MATT!!! And Puck’s here I guess, yay… He’s got a season or so of sucking to go before I can get excited about that.

“Regionals” here we come? My guy, let’s get through sectionals first…

Rachel’s big, cruel smile when she thinks she’s going to be handed Tina’s solo. Why would she presume that it’d just get handed to her??? I mean, I know why, but like, why… And she has the audacity to look like she’s been betrayed. Not even slightly, hon! You deserve nothing if not getting one solo is all it takes for you to quit!

This Sue’s corner genuinely gets me through some shit. “There’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will.” Hits me hard!

This one was longer. Primarily because of Burt, I will admit, but it can’t be helped. Perhaps it’s the best episode of season 1 because of Burt! Now that’s a break through…

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

[spaghetticonfettiregretti-blog]

Here are 50 questions answered mediocrely (if at all) for me to get to know myself.

1. What moment changed your life forever?

It’s really hard for me to think of one specific moment that stands out as changing my life as I knew it forever. Obviously there are events that have happened sporadically over the years that have impacted me but nothing really jumps out as being something that seemed to alter the course of my life dramatically. With that being said, the one moment for me that time has a definite “before” and “after” was when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. It was August 2015, and until that point I had only really had friends who’s parents had battled cancer or had known distantly other people who had had it so it never really felt like something real and tangible to me, it was just something that was devastating but only happened to other people or in movies. I got the phone call from my mum when dad was on the operating table and once she said that they were pretty sure it was cancer it was like a bomb went off. All of a sudden this thing that didn’t happen to us was real and happening and I had no idea how to emotionally deal with it other than to lock myself in my college room and cry. That was probably the moment when life began to feel real, and confronting, and scary so I would say that that was probably the moment that changed my life forever. So far. 

2. What does your ideal day look like?

My ideal day would be to wake up early in some cool and rainy town, take my dogs for a walk along the beach, stopping somewhere to get coffee. I would go home and tend to whatever other animals I’ve accumulated while my partner makes breakfast for us both before they leave to work. I would have a home office and be doing either home counselling or maybe even something to do with beauty therapy - or both - and I would love it and feel proud of my work. Possibly catch up with friends in the evening, with lots of wine and lots of music. I think that would be nice. 

3. What is your favourite book/movie/show/song and why?

My favourite book would be the Mortal Instruments series purely because I loved them so much as a teenager. I fell in love with the characters and the world and the action and it really got me through the stressful shit heap that was high school. 

Favourite movie at the moment would probably be Interstellar. That was the only movie that has left me speechless in my entire life so kudos to that.

Favourite show currently is Umbrella Academy. I watched season one once and I’m hooked already. 

Favourite song literally changes all the time. Currently keen on Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon by Urge Overkill. 

4. What are you most afraid of?

Something happening to my family or friends without the chance for me to say goodbye or telling them that I love and appreciate them so much and they are my everything. That would kill me inside. I’m also terrified that I won’t live up to any of the expectations I have for myself or that everyone else seems to have of me. Or that I’ll forever feel as though I’m just floating through life with no real purpose or sense of direction. The thought of feeling like that for the rest of my life terrifies me. 

5. What are you most proud of?

Probably the things I achieved as a kid, being smart and curious and studious and loving to learn. Sometimes I really want to go back and just watch younger me be her little nerd self and tell her that she’s the bomb and she shouldn’t ever let that fire go out. If I had to pick something about current me I think it would be that I can be trusted. People open up to me and tell me their secrets and I can lock them away in the vault. 

6. What is something that you cannot live without?

My close family, and close friends. Also my phone at the moment, I think i’ve got a mild addiction which I need to work on. 

7. What do you wish you did more of?

Open up. Speak the truth. Experience emotions. Establish boundaries. Eat. Actually converse with myself. Exercise. Tell people they’re doing a great job and that I’m proud of them. Tell my parents I appreciate and love them. Read. Say no. Have original thoughts and ideas. Stand up for others. Put myself outside of my comfort zone. Say what’s on my mind. 

8. What's a hobby that you wish you could do?

Blog. Or paint. Or play an instrument well. 

9. What's your favourite part of your life right now?

I honestly don’t think I have a favourite part of my life right now. I’m feeling very ambivalent towards it all. Which is why I really hope this experience with getting my emotions out there will help to some degree. 

10. Where do you see yourself in five years from now?

I honestly don’t know. I will be turning 27. Holy craaap. Hopefully I would have followed up with counselling study or found something that actually sets my soul on fire and all that. Hopefully I’m happy, or at least content. 

11. What makes you laugh?

Stupid things on the internet and fart jokes. Nonsensical conversations always get me too. 

12. Who is the one person that you can call, no matter what happens to you?

My mum, of course. But honestly I’ve been in a few situations where I’ve felt completely helpless and like my world was falling apart and that there was literally no one I could turn to. Obviously my friends would all be there for me in a heartbeat but I’ve just never felt comfortable opening up to them or contacting them when that happens so I think that’s something that I need to work on. That’s obviously me not being willing to open up and actually acknowledge that there’s a problem or situation in my life that I need to address - but go me for realising this? Progress, woo!

13. If you could go back and change one part of your life, what would it be and why?

I really would like to go back and make me a little shit of a child. Well not too much of a little shit but a kid who wasn’t so afraid to get in trouble, I feel as though the kids who were cheeky and naughty are actually pretty well rounded? Maybe that’s the wrong way to phrase it but they definitely seem to not give so much of a damn which I could use. I’ve always been so afraid to get in trouble or to do things wrong and that has really followed me through to adulthood. 

14. If you could make one change in the world, what would it be?

Wake people up to the planet dying and actually get them to make changes to their behaviour. 

15. What is something you feel passionate about?

Literally nothing. I’m an emotional void. I’m hoping that this is just a thyroid problem or something...

16. What is your dream career?

Something where I can be my own boss. But I also have this innate desire (need?) to help people so it would have to be something that fulfils that, which is why I’m thinking counsellor. 

17. What piece of advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t be so afraid to balls things up! Get in trouble! Fall over and hurt yourself! Don’t take yourself too seriously and stop wanting to grow up so fast. You know what you love doing, make sure you keep doing it and don’t stop loving it! Because now my passions have been vacuum sealed and I have no idea what I love. Also don’t be afraid to tell dad to shove it. 

18. When was the last time you did something that you were afraid of?

The fact that I can’t remember means too long. 

19. What do you do to relax?

Netflix. Which I know is not sustainable. I really need to get into exercise or reading. 

20. What's a long shot that you have taken that has paid off?

Let myself fall in love. 

21. What are you tired of hearing about?

How much of a worthless heap I am and that I’m doing nothing with my life. Or hearing about how my life will sort itself out. 

22. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

To not be a coward.

23. Who has completely lost your respect?

I don’t think anyone has completely lost it but there are definitely people who are not at all who I thought they were and I wouldn’t lose sleep over them not being in my life anymore. 

24. What do you hope never changes?

My ability to not get hangovers. 

I guess the stability and privilege of my life as well (as much as I talk trash about it), though you don’t grow unless you’re outside of your comfort zone so they say. 

25. Where is your favourite place to visit?

Home. Literally the walls of my childhood house with my mum, dad, and Charlie. That’s where my heart is. 

26. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Somewhere cool and rainy would do me nicely. I’m not too fussed beyond that. Though I would feel extremely guilty leaving my mum.

27. What is something that you would make a scene in public about?

I’m such a little bitch so probably nothing. Unless it was something very extreme. 

28. What are you most afraid to lose?

Family. Friends. Body parts. Sentimental items. Charlie. 

29. What are you most insecure about?

I blush way too easily, even when I’m not even remotely embarrassed, which I honestly think is why I’m such an introverted social spud. It’s pretty much developed into a phobia so I always make sure I avoid situations where something could happen to make me turn into a tomato. It literally makes me want to die. And my nose is huge. I also have this feeling that nothing I say is original or that I have my own ideas so I often feel as though I have nothing to contribute to conversations which I hate. I also feel as though if I do contribute and it’s something stupid or wrong i’ll blush and then want to die. It’s a vicious cycle. 

30. What chance of fate changed your life forever?

Probably just meeting all the people that I have in this world of 7 billion.

31. What is something you regret doing?

Way too many things. 

32. What is the best and worst thing about getting older?

Having more life experience. Having your body betray you. 

33. What part of your life do you miss the most?

Having feelings and emotions and passion about things. Also being young and not having any real awareness or responsibility.

34. If you could go back and fix a relationship with someone, who would it be and why?

A few boys from my past who I didn’t end things well with. I needed to be straight up and honest and I wasn’t and that hurt them. 

35. What's the hardest lesson you have learned?

Always tell the truth, even if it hurts at the time it’s so much better than lying to someone. Also that people don’t care about others as much as you do so watch your back. And you’re getting old so look after your body!

36. What do you do to feel "alive"?

Alcohol.

37. What's the most exhilarating thing you have done?

Probably just nights out, when you’re pretty wasted and you’re able to do dumb shit like a proper delinquent. It’s exhilarating because you don’t really worry about any of the consequences you just act on impulse and that is such a refreshing feeling. Even if you feel like pure shite and regret the dumb stuff the next day. I wish there was just some switch you could flick in your brain that let you feel the same way without completely incapacitating you like alcohol does. 

38. What inspires you?

People who are passionate and believe things down to their core. And who aren’t afraid to speak up and stand up and get shit done. Pretty much everything I am not is what gets me going. 

39. What do you believe is a "good life"?

Being happy, or content. And finding something that gives your life meaning or purpose and doing that. 

40. What do you take for granted?

Everything. I’m going through a selfish phase too which I really need to work on. But probably the thing that does bug me about myself is the crazy access I have to education that I am in no way harnessing or using in my favour. That is a fucking privilege that I am wasting. I feel like because it’s something that has always been there and provided for me and I never had to fight for it that I’ve just taken it for granted my whole life. 

41. What risks do you believe are worth taking?

Anything that will challenge you and that you can learn from. Life is experience. 

42. What was the hardest loss you have ever experienced?

Pets. 

43. Was there ever a point where you felt like giving up, but didn't?

My mind instantly went to cross country events, my lord. There have been a few times where I’ve felt like I couldn’t go on and have which always feels good. 

44. What are some events in your life that made you who you are?

I honestly don’t think I’ve had many profound events. I really should work on that. 

45. What is your favourite season, and why?

Winter because it’s cold and rainy straight up. 

46. What do you spend most time thinking about?

Life and the universe. What i’m wasting it all on. The usual. 

47. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

A bookstore. 

48. What qualities do you admire about others?

Courage, bravery, honesty, integrity, accountability, vulnerability, openness, conscientiousness, compassion, and empathy. 

49. What was your closest close call?

Almost got abducted as a kid in Melbourne. That was pretty close. 

50. If you died today, how would you want to be remembered?

Someone who made people laugh and who had a bright future. That way I won’t let anyone down by not having one. 

All of these questions are taken from: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/50-questions-ask-yourself

[existential-phans]

He’s Just Sleeping

Summary- Dan and Phil have a child, and they are the happiest they have ever been. Not for long.

Genre- angst

Age- All

Warning- Major character death

It’s Thursday. And a pretty good Thursday to be honest. I never really liked Thursdays much, they were a bit uneventful. Always trying to be Friday. But for a Thursday it wasn’t too bad. For starters he had woken up naturally this morning, not by alarm, then Dan had brought him breakfast in bed, I had no idea why, but it was just another thing to add to the list of ‘why Phil Lester has the best husband ever’ then Amber, our four-year-old daughter, came in and lay next to me, stealing some of my French toast. And now I was sitting on the couch reading the new Stephen King book. So all in all, a pretty good Thursday.

Amber was the most beautiful four-year-old I have ever seen. She had brown silky hair, the went down to her waist, we had little chubby cheeks, that where scarlet most of the time. And if you searched around her scalp enough there was a rather large strawberry birthmark. When I say strawberry, I literally mean the exact colour of a strawberry. She was a very shy child but was very loud when she became comfortable with you. She loves the colour white and pink. Literally, her entire wardrobe consists of these two colours. And the thing that I loved about her the most. She was our daughter.

“Hey Phil, me and Amber are going out to get Ice-Cream” Dan calls from the doorway of our house-we bought a proper house when we adopted Amber- “Two things” I call back, “Amber and I! I do have an English major remember, and Two, you better bring me back some ice-cream otherwise you will both be in trouble!” I hear a little girlish giggle and a chuckle from the front door, then an open, and a close. And the house is silent. I sigh and get back to reading the hardcover book in my hand, mentally looking forward to ice cream I was getting.

About half an hour later, my eyes are hurting from reading, so I put the book down, making sure I place the bookmark on the correct page. I get up and boil the kettle, and add a coffee satchel to my favourite mug. Amber made it at day-care one day, she drew on it, it has a picture of me, Dan and Amber in the park. At first glance you couldn’t tell where we were, a four-year-old did draw it, but it was pretty obvious after she explained. After the coffee is completed, I go and sit back down on the couch. After about ten minutes of the mindlessly scrolling through the web, I finally decided to see what’s on TV. Usually, we don’t really watch live TV, as there are much more interesting things on Netflix. But Amber likes to watch the kiddies channels. I quickly flick through the channels, finally deciding the BBC news, as I will probably end up browsing Wikipedia at the same time. Just as I suspected I end up opening my laptop again about ten minutes later. That is until I hear something o the TV. I look up and listen to the reporter. “There has been a crash on the main road, and two people have been seriously injured” suddenly my phone rings, I don’t recognise the number, but I pick up anyway, still paying attention to the TV. “Hello this is Phil Lester” “Hello, Mr Lester…” I don’t really listen to what the man is saying as my vision is caught on the television. What the reporter says next hasn’t even crossed my mind. not even once. “We have been able to identify the injured as Father Dan Lester and daughter Amber Lester” Suddenly there is noise coming from everywhere. The TV, the phone, the laptop, the cars outside. It's coming from every direction and I can’t think. My brain does nothing. “Mr Lester? Mr Lester?” eventually I focus on the man on the phone. “I know it is a lot to handle but can you please come to the hospital?” “What… How bad?” I manage to choke out. “We can’t give away information over the phone…” I instantly hang up. Not caring what else the man had to say. I sprint out the front door and attempt to hail a taxi, but it's taking to long. I have to get there. I have to be there now! So I run. I sprint across the road, and down the path, round corner after corner, bumping into people, but not apologising. Eventually, I get to the hospital, but don’t slow down my pace until I’m at the front desk. “Dan Lester and Amber Lester where are they?!” I say as loud as I can, while still trying to breathe. That was the fastest I have ever run. In my life. I don’t know how I did it. But I did. “room 345” she said. “Are you directly related to the patients?” I look at her in shock. “YES! I’m her dad, and Dan’s husband!” I almost shout. All she does in reply is move her head and nods in the direction of the room. I once again run down the corridor using whatever form of energy I have left, until I find the door. I try to open it, but it's locked. I check again to see if I have right door, and indeed its room 345. I try and open the door again but once again it doesn’t open. Only now do I realise that I’m crying. Silent tears. How did I not realise? I keep on trying the door when a nurse comes up to me. “Sir, there is some surgery going on in that room, please wait outside.” I’m about to yell at her. When I think the better of it. Shouting won't change anything. so instead I sit down and nod. My knee starts tapping. My mind starts racing. What if they don’t make it? Why wasn’t I there with them? I start pacing. Dan Amber She’s only four Four I should have looked after them. I am her father. I’m his husband. I don’t know how many times I switch between sitting and pacing. But it’s a lot. I try everything. But I can’t stop my mind. It keeps going. And going. And fucking going. It doesn’t stop. Not until the door opens. I turn around instantly and stand stone still. Not moving, scared that if I do the entire building will collapse around me, and I will never know the answer. The answer that I’m terrified of knowing, yet can’t wait any longer without. I don’t say anything. Just stare as the doctor exits the room, and closes the door behind him. “Are you Mr Phillip Lester?” “Yes! Yes. How are they? Is Amber okay? Dan?” the wait in between the question and the answer seems like minutes I’m about to repeat myself when the doctor answers. “Yes Mr Lester, Amber is alright, she will have a little concussion, but should be fine.” I let out a sigh of relief. If amber is okay, Dan should be okay as well right? “It's Daniel.” No Oh god No It can’t be “I’m very sorry Mr Lester, I know he was loved very much” I am silent. My brain can’t process it. It can’t be. We had just gotten everything we wanted, married, a child, the perfect home. How can something so horrible happen? The doctor opens the door, his eyes on the ground. I slowly, slowly walk into the room. I look over at Amber, she’s asleep. Then my eyes find him. Dan. My legs give way. His body is white as a sheet, his eyes open, staring at nothing. I manage to crawl over to beside the bed, and they fall. The tears, I knew they would come eventually. All it took was one look. I cry. Tightly gripping the side of the bed, not having the energy to stand and find a chair. I love him. I loved him. I loved him, I loved and I lost him. Suddenly I hear a little voice from the next bed over. “Daddy is that you?” I take a deep breath, and wipe off the tears, even though my face doesn’t stay dry for long, silent tears still fall. “hey poppet. How are you feeling?” I say as I sit down on the bed, next to her, and wrap her in a tight hug. “My head hurts.” “I know darling, I know it does, but it’ll feel better soon ok? You’ve been so brave.” She looks up at me, and nods then looks a little confused. “Daddy why are you crying?” I quickly wipe my face again. “I was just worried about you that’s all” I say. And force a smile, I have to be brave at least until she can’t see me. “Where’s Papa?” another tear falls. How am I going to do this? How will I raise her alone?

“He’s just sleeping; he’ll wake up soon.”

#phanfic #angst #phan #dan and phil #death

[buddaimond]

”Chris Hardwick, stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, television host, writer, producer, podcaster, and musician, CEO of Nerdist Industries interviewed Robert Pattinson for 50 minutes. Listen to this great podcast:

Highlights of Rob’s interview & my notes *Rob’s quote in bold:

Starts at 8:00

Explaining the current press tour, how the Safdie brothers (directors) are more focused than him.

Vaguely embarrassed about talking about his acting process “What if someone doesn’t like it?”

“Pretty much all of my drive and enthusiasm for anything is born out of chronic insecurity and self-hatred. It's kind of annoying. it's a vicious circle if you ever get out of that then you’ve succeeded in something, like you ain’t gonna be lost forever”

Shared that even Bruce Springsteen felt similar chronic insecurity and “visions of grandeur and sickness in equal measure”

His admiration for The Band, which he wanted to do a movie on, where these people who wrote “massive stuff” and “spectacular pieces of art” at only 22, recollected that he doesn’t even know what he was doing at 22.

He only thought he wanted to be an actor “ACTOR” at 25. "I always just think I approach everything thinking it's going to be my last time every single time, and a lot of my decision-making processes “is this the one you're going to go down for? Is that amazing decision for the right reason?”

Making movies whether it is a hit or whether people like it or not, at least he could take aways two things that were important to him from his past endeavours, prior to Twilight,

He was getting jobs up until a point that he thought "this is going to be my life” and then just suddenly hit a brick wall. Twilight came along to be his big peak, but he could quite successfully disassociate myself from that, because he could psyched himself in thinking that it could just be taken away, and it was another nut down the road of his career.

Praising the Safdie brothers for their incredibly organazied minds, phenomenal people skills (both of which he does not have), how they could imagine a movie in their head and know technically they could put it together, and he is only beginning to understand the relationships between a director and the actor.

“You just had to have more trust in yourself and because when you don't have trust in yourself then you can't trust a director either. And so I think I would constantly be thinking that I somehow needed to mold a story from inside. As the performance rather than just accepting that it's their medium, and also I just got better at choosing directors as well. I sort of realized because sometimes you do you work with a director and they're just not in control of it... You try and control it but you literally can't control as a director at all. It's impossible well...you have one small piece... you're just a cog and if you try and do your own thing you'll just break the machine”

“I guess now I just have quite a smooth relationship with everybody I work with, it's just way less contentious than it used to be.”

He recalled having to read the teleprompter the other day and having read his speech 15 times from his card (in the car) before finally understanding it.

”I get nervous when I think there's any kind of expectation that's in any form of my life. If there's any expectation then I'll freak out and fail. I just have to set up my entire life to make sure that I'm in my own lane and not competing with anybody. Otherwise I know, I can't compete. As I was talking about auditioning, I don't like it. but if you realized if you just invent your own game and no one else knows to rules aside from you, then its fine.”

He has auditioned twice and gotten one of them so far (post Twilight)

It is not a pick and choose situation at all for him when it comes to his projects. The big projects with well-known directors that he’d want to work with, he hasn’t done enough to be really recognized or sought after. For those that wanted him “to get financing” he doesn’t want to work with them anyway. He has recognized over the years that he really like to be the A&R (artiste and repertoire) kind of person who is trying to find something with true potential that the majority of people have not realized yet. Then he will “completely go in on them, committing a million percent” which is what he did on Good Time. 

His love for movies, he watched a lot of them. Sometimes doubting himself imagining that he will ruin the movies if he were to play the roles he has his eyes on. He chose script by finding a fit to the kind of zeitgeist, the idea of the type of character that he wants to play and will search for it.

His preparation process before a project: his anxiety builds up before a project starts, when he gets really obsessed with the script and thinks everything is going to be amazing. When the date draws closer he just reaches a point of not understanding anything “it doesn’t even make any sense, it is not even written in English…the directors’ previous works are all shit…” and gets worse and worse spiralling out of control, and he will start to act out on everyone around him, getting their sympathy etc. Then one day his agent told him “you just like this feeling, you get high from anxiety” which he admitted about feeding on the adrenalin from anxiety.

In making the “fear” real. “The most real thing in the world is pain, and if you somehow figure out some kind of psychological or physical pain which is associated with the job” ….many artists or actors set up walls when they feel the devastation from pain (even when faking it) or doing it as an addiction, “whatever you still have to do it, ....you have to figure out a way, to trick yourself... to use everything inside of you...now I am going to make it real”

Funny story : My dad has always given me relationship advice. And my mom and dad have been married for nearly 40 years, and my dad said “You know, at the end of the day, love is just a fancy you’ve created for yourself. It’s only in your own head”…and I said “you shouldn’t this right in front of her (his mom). And his mom said “he’s right you know”

Living in character: “That is generally why I kind of stay in isolation if I’m trying to do something. It got so much easier because you create real arguments with everyone in that situation”

“I have those conversation the whole time (with my brain) every single decision I made, I consult my brain and especially like  “is the yes bigger or the no bigger?”…. I don’t know, I think that’s a yes…”

"I always find it strange when someone's saying “oh yeah well this is because of this, and this or that” it's like, if you say something and someone acknowledges your unique individuality I think it's much more comforting.... It is scary to think you are part of a herd and you're just a number. I think I would almost prefer to be unique and alone.”

“I am very very in my own head like almost constantly. Since I was a kid. Need to be in therapy to be less afraid of confrontation. I hold grudges and never tell people because I don’t want to piss them off. I just don’t talk to them again, just ghost it!”

“I remember growing up, my dad was like “you can do anything you want, just don’t be loud” I was just very uncomfortable with that kind of people not thinking things through all the time, and I think that’s why now I’m very attracted to parts where people are very upfront, not really second guessing themselves.”

He never understood that acting to be fun (for some performers). It is a kind of hybrid therapy for him. “Some people see it as a job, but I think that’s crazy. What you’re doing there, so you’re making faces, practice making faces so people are able to hire you? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, I have no idea what the skills are, I literally just know there’s something which I want to confront in my real life, I am going to use the excuse of this fictional situation, which is like a kind of reality safety net so I can do all these stuff, because it is not real.”   

“It is just a way to experiment, how you would feel in a situation and you can have a safety net. Most of the time you avoid doing certain thing because you don’t want to have to deal with the consequences afterwards, whereas in a movie, you can do things and then sort of not really deal with it.”

He talked about Netflix, Cinephile videos where he can get an entire catalogue of directors from that place a lot of which is not on Netflix. He loved doing that. “I'd like being a sponge the things”

He felt Ciro Guerra’s Embrace of the Serpent (a Columbian movie) is an insane and magical thing from the first shot. He was mesmerised, and he doesn’t understand how it was made. He hassled Gueraa to give him a job which is happening early next year “How can you make something so magical?” “I want to know how you make it so magical!”. He doesn’t think anyone can really explain their thing in creating magic, he knows some will have innate talent. In general, it is putting in tonnes of time and practice and work till you get it right.

The story about his sister’s magician friend who did this card trick of always getting the right card (90% accuracy) he picked. He knew it is about certain patterns and work put in, and concluded that “if you are a true magician, then you are actually looking for the thing which is real...then the real matter is not a trick.”

He has waited for years to work with Claire Denis. “I think all these things are just like having a relationship with someone. You have that initial moment, you only fall in love with people of things so many times or that find something, you just get that feeling of falling in love with it, you might not necessarily know what it is but you should 100% chase it down afterward.” Like this next thing (Claire Denis project) “I remember seeing it, as it is directly clear to me, who is one of my favourite directors, but I remember seeing her first movie when I was shooting the last Twilight movie in Louisiana and it was on TV. I remember being so struck five and a half year ago, and I tracked her know. She’d never made a fully English language movie before and I just kinda stay involved...”

He was going to Jimmy Kimmel later and his mind is going crazy. What goes through his mind where there was a fans-”grabby period”. Luckily, when he is in a calm situation, his brain will be filed with anxiety and panic and then when he is in a panic-anxiety-inducing situation, his brain completely calms down (totally zen). He has no idea why and it is kind of helpful, like he gets dumped of serotonin. When something feels really nerve wrecking, his heartbeat will slow down and have this weird out-of-body-experience. In those situation (similarly to being on social media), he would have a desperate need to make everyone like him. “just like me, like me!” That is why he will never have social media, he will never go off his phone and will be staring at it all day which is 100% complete waste of energy.

Fight or flight situation. He is either zen and calm, or (a few times that happened) when someone confronts him said one thing, then he has compressed rage (built up from 5 years) thrown out at that person.

“To maintain any kind of career for long, somehow it will get out, people will get a feeling of who you actually are, it is impossible to keep something contained, especially now. Unless you literally never leave your house, but then, it reflects on what type of person you are”

#robert pattinson #The Nerdist #Chris Hardwick #Good Time Interview #Podcast transcript

[rentalgoose]

1 through 150 for the cute asks please.

(I hope you’re being serious lol but here goes anyway)

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?I honestly don’t know. Probably my ex.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?I’m definitely more shy.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Tbh, no one. My cat, I guess?

4. Are you easy to get along with?Not really. I’m really jumpy, anxious and need way too much emotional support and generally a hassle so it’s tough for people to tolerate me for long periods of time.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I have no idea. I think this means like as in crush and I don’t really have one of those currently.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Someone who likes books, the forest, and autumn.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Nope! I’m not super interested in having one right now and I’m totally unlovable.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?Probably Rihanna? I keep thinking about how she full-on decked Michael Cera.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Kind of? It’s awkward for me because I don’t share a lot of personal experiences with people and I’ve had really bad experiences with sex so it’s kind of hard to talk about it without those things flashing through my mind.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?I have no idea.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“Ok thanks”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?“Pink Lemonade” by James Bay“Stable Song” by Death Cab for Cutie"“Terrified” by Isaac Gracie“make you feel pretty” by lovelytheband“Feed Me (Git It)” from Little Shop of Horrors

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?100%

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?I believe in luck but not miracles.

15. What good thing happened this summer?I’m joining the volunteer first aid squad!!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?That’s so complicated oml.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?The probability is quite high.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Not at all. She emotionally manipulated me for two years and I make a point not to speak to her ever.

19. Do you like bubble baths?I don’t really care for baths in general.

20. Do you like your neighbors?Yeah, they’re all super sweet!

21. What are you bad habits?I tend to clench my teeth when I get anxious or uncomfortable. I also have the terrible habit of never saying no because I always want to avoid arguments.

22. Where would you like to travel?New Zealand and Los Angeles!

23. Do you have trust issues?Unfortunately.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Idk why but washing my face feels really nice.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?All of it.

26. What do you do when you wake up?I usually check my phone even though no one ever contacts me at night.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?I wish my skin was lighter but the way it is fine.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?No one.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Unfortunately not. :/

30. Do you ever want to get married?Maybe? I think it’s just bound to fall apart because I can’t hold steady relationships but weddings are nice.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Definitely not.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?None?

33. Spell your name with your chin.ljhkmed

34. Do you play sports? What sports?I play soccer.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV. I really don’t watch anything.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Sort of?

37. What do you say during awkward silences?I just slide away because I don’t know how to operate.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?My dream guy would be really tall and kind of chubby because tall chubby guys give the best hugs. I like short chubby girls but have nothing against other body types at all. I’d love someone who likes Harry Potter, poetry, the forest, autumn, sweaters, and rainy days.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Forever 21 or H&M. (I’m kind of a basic bitch)

40. What do you want to do after high school?I want to become a high school history teacher. Basically, I want to go back as soon as possible lol.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I don’t believe everyone deserves a second chance but I believe most people do (like anyone who isn’t Hitler or Osama bin Laden)

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?That I’m really anxious.

43. Do you smile at strangers?Always. You don’t know what type of day they could be having or what that could mean to them.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Bottom of the ocean! I want to see a giant jellyfish.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Having to go to school and take my finals. I’m worried about failing them.

46. What are you paranoid about?What people are thinking of me.

47. Have you ever been high?Unfortunately not.

48. Have you ever been drunk?Unfortunately not.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Definitely.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Navy blue.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?Always.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Everything.

53. Favourite makeup brand?I honestly don’t have one haha.

54. Favourite store?Hot Topic.

55. Favourite blog?I have no clue whatsoever.

56. Favourite colour?Emerald green or periwinkle.

57. Favourite food?I honestly don’t have one.

58. Last thing you ate?Meatloaf.

59. First thing you ate this morning?An apple and peanut butter.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?I don’t know if soccer championships count but I’ve won those a couple times.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Never!

62. Been arrested? For what?Thankfully, my record is clean.

63. Ever been in love?Unfortunately.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?It was a total accident. My ex girlfriend (who wasn’t my ex at the time obviously) was aiming for my nose and whoops?

65. Are you hungry right now?Nope.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?What are friends?

67. Facebook or Twitter?Neither.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?Neither.

69. Are you watching tv right now?Technically. I’m watching Netflix on my laptop.

70. Names of your bestfriends?I don’t know anymore. My friends all abandoned me.

71. Craving something? What?Nope!

72. What colour are your towels?It’s white with green pears.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?Three! (One to two for my head and one hedgehog pillow)

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yep!

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Hundreds.

75. Favourite animal?Moonjellies and komodo dragons!!!

76. What colour is your underwear?Baby blue with navy blue edges and avocado halves.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Chocolate!

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Cookie dough!!!

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?A The Cure T-shirt.

80. What colour pants?Black.

81. Favourite tv show?Currently, Queer Eye.

82. Favourite movie?Thor: Ragnarok or the 2nd or 3rd HSM movies.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Mean Girls.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?I love 21JS the TV show.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?What kind of question is that? Janis Ian, obviously.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?The little squid girl in the beginning.

87. First person you talked to today?My mom.

88. Last person you talked to today?Also my mom.

89. Name a person you hate?RuPaul.

90. Name a person you love?My grandma.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Myself.

92. In a fight with someone?Nope!

93. How many sweatpants do you have?One.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Eight.

95. Last movie you watched?Blazing Saddles.

96. Favourite actress?No tengo.

97. Favourite actor?Mel Brooks.

98. Do you tan a lot?Yeah. Perks of being mixed race lol.

99. Have any pets?Yep! Two cats!!!

100. How are you feeling?Sad and tired.

101. Do you type fast?Yeah.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?Everything.

103. Can you spell well?Relatively.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Yeah :/

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?No but that sounds so fun!!!

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t think so.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yeah, I loved it!!!

108. What should you be doing?Sleeping. It’s 2:20 AM.

109. Is something irritating you right now?Not really. My allergies, I guess.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Yeah and I hate it.

111. Do you have trust issues?This is a repeat (I think) but yeah, unfortunately.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?My ex, I think.

113. What was your childhood nickname?I don’t have one.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Plenty of times.

115. Do you play the Wii?Yep. I’m lame lol.

116. Are you listening to music right now?Nope.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?I would die for some right now.

118. Do you like Chinese food?See above.

119. Favourite book?Burn by Suzanne Phillips or the Leviathan trilogy.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?Kind of?

121. Are you mean?I sure hope not.

122. Is cheating ever okay?Not at all.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?I only have one pair and I never wear them so, yes?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Somewhat. I think it’s kind of phony but I’m not going to be mean and shame others for believing in it.

125. Do you believe in true love?Kind of? I think it does exist but I know I’m not going to find it.

126. Are you currently bored?Nah.

127. What makes you happy?I don’t know.

128. Would you change your name?Maybe.

129. What your zodiac sign?Leo!

130. Do you like subway?Neither the restaurant or the train system.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Idk deal with it?

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?I don’t know.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?“You are the apple of God’s eye” from “Sun” by Sleeping At Last.

134. Can you count to one million?I don’t have the patience at all.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?That I didn’t drink from a water glass.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Cracked open a little.

137. How tall are you?5'5"

138. Curly or Straight hair?I have curly hair!

139. Brunette or Blonde?I’m naturally a brunette.

140. Summer or Winter?I prefer neither. I like autumn.

141. Night or Day?Night!!!

142. Favourite month?November!!!

143. Are you a vegetarian?Sorry, no.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk or white.

145. Tea or Coffee?Both!

146. Was today a good day?Not really. I got a migraine.

147. Mars or Snickers?Mars!!!

148. What’s your favourite quote?“But even if we can’t choose where we come from, but we can choose where you go from here”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?I feel like they’re plausible but I hope they don’t for the alive and the dead’s sake.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?“Mrs Forbes said that when Mother died she had gone to heaven” (from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime)

#ask #thanks for asking :)