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pigeon-smidge · 3 months

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✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven. ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings.

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences.

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it.

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’, but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’ is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand), Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

‘we could’ve been …. us.’

‘our side.’

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song).

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him. ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!!

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’ Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy.

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from.

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him.

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness.

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me).

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

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bigtreefest · 5 days

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Chapter 4: Splash Zone

From: The Rainmaker Series

Pairing: Mob! Steve x Forensic Scientist! Reader

Summary: Ups and downs are just another part of your week. This time, it would seem all the ups have to do with Steve.

Word count: 3,969

Content/warnings: swears, mean coworker Det. John Walker, nice coworker Det. Scott Lang, a gift, boxing and punching, puddles, verbal altercations, hidden happiness and feelings, hidden occupations, unwanted attention, wanted attention (not from the same person)

Author’s Note: Enjoy this next installment of the awkward little bean and his journey of getting the cold scientist to warm up to him.

I love hearing your feedback! I’d appreciate it more than you know if you took the time to leave an ask, comment, or reblog in addition to your like. Thank you for reading!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

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You came in to work on Tuesday afternoon to a gift basket waiting at your desk - the desk outside just outside the lab that you hardly used since you were so swamped with cases lately. You were set to work well past midnight tonight, and had only packed a lunch, so you were sure the little snacks you could see peeking through the clear packaging would prove helpful for the hours you planned on being glued to screens doing data analysis. You could definitely swing doing all your work out here instead of cooped up for once.

Not only was there a gift basket, but a decently large paper bag sitting on your desk that had seemingly already been ripped open. Great. Someone already contaminated the crime scene. As you peeked over the cellophane wrapping of the obscenely large basket, you were greeted by a certain detective, leaning back in your rolling chair, feet kicked up on the desk, to-go container and fork in hand.

“Hey, Decky! About time you came in. Your pasta was getting cold, so I thought I’d help you out with it. There’s so much here!”

Your brows furrowed as you observed detective Lang slurping down a bite of carbonara, the container already half gone.

“What the hell, Scott? What is going on?”

Scott shrugged and used his fork to swirl up another bite. “What? Not like you were gonna finish all of that pasta in one go. Figured I’d take some off your hands.”

“Wha-“ you stood there, flabbergasted, mouth opening and closing while you contemplated your next words. You grabbed the receipt on the paper bag to see the contents listed, with ‘SR’ written in red sharpie at the bottom. It looked like it was all your favorites from Steve’s restaurant, plus some new items.

Your confusion increased as you pushed Scott’s feet off your desk and scooted over to read the card on the gift basket.

“Sorry our night got a little interrupted. Buck appreciates the kindness, though. Feel free take it all out on me. I’ve got a knock-out time planned for us. -SR”

There was an address on the back and an additional note for you to meet him there after your Thursday shift. And to… wear athletic clothes? What?

An amused smile began to creep onto your lips before the realization came crashing down and you whipped around. “Hold on a second, what the fuck, Scott!? You’re eating my gift!! Not to mention something that a civilian dropped off at a police precinct. That could have been poisoned!”

Scott laughed as he set down his fork in the container. “Nah, I knew it at least wasn’t poisoned. One of Steve’s guys dropped it off.”

You grabbed the lid off your desk and placed it on Scott’s pasta container before ripping it from his hands. “Hey! I wasn’t done yet!”

He leaned forward to grab it back out of your hands before you whisked it away again. “Ah ah, no. Answer my questions first and then you can have my pasta back.”

Scott sighed exasperatedly, his shoulders slumping forward. “Okay, fine. What do you want to know? That’s really good carbonara and I want it back ASAP.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why it was sent to me. Now, tell me how you know one of Steve’s guys dropped it off… and what do you mean by ‘Steve’s guys?’”

Scott shrugged again. Some detective he was. “I don’t know. I was at my desk when I saw it all get delivered. You know how Steve is. He’s got those delivery boys that help him out. Sure, I consider him a pal but I don’t ask too many questions about that. I understand he’s a busy guy. You’re just lucky I commandeered the area before Walker caught a whiff. That’s literally all I know. Now it’s time for you to answer my question.”

You rolled your eyes and begrudgingly handed him back the container. “Okay fine. You’re lucky I like you way better than that street rat, Walker. You get one question. One.”

Scott smirked at you as he popped off the lid and threw it back over your desk calendar. “Now I know Steve and I are well acquainted, but what’s he doing sending you things? You do him a special favor or something?”

You sighed and crossed your arms and legs, leaning back and squinting at your closest work friend. “First of all, that was two questions. And second of all, no. You know I’m not in the habit of sharing confidential information. If you must know, Steve and I are…friends. And we hung out, like once…or twice, but there was kind of a wrench thrown in the second one. I think this is his way of making it up to me.”

His grin grew toothy. “Yeah, okay. ‘Friends.’” He put up his hand that wasn’t holding food in air quotes. “Whatever you say, bud. Steve and I have been friends for half a decade, but you don’t see me getting gift baskets and lunch deliveries.”

You shook your head as you spun his chair around and nudged it forward for him to get out. “Well, I wouldn’t complain if I were you, bud, because you’ve evidently benefitted from the gift nonetheless. Don’t you have crimes to solve?”

Scott hopped out of the chair with a startle at your aggressive push. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Enjoy your little present from your boy. I’ll be back later to talk to you about those tests you ran last last week I asked for. And for some snacks.” He winked before running off, ducking to scarf down the rest of his meal.

You sighed before plopping down into your seat and hiding behind the basket and your computer monitor, trying to keep your excitement under wraps. You untied the ribbon at the top of the present and pulled down the rustling covering to finally take a look at everything inside. The contents were…broad… to say the least.

On top were some scrunchies, the exact ones you loved to use to pull your hair back in the lab, actually. And under that were duplicates of all the snacks Steve had brought over to your place the previous weekend that you still had in abundance.

Your cabinets were going to be endlessly stocked at this rate. In there, too, you found an adorable teddy bear dressed up in a suit. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was supposed to look like someone who was growing all too familiar. But next to it was also a stuffed hedgehog and otter wearing the same? He must’ve seen your one hedgehog flower pot on the mantle and assumed it was your favorite. Now the otter, that was an interesting choice, although not unfounded. Maybe he knew you were a card carrying member of the zoo and aquarium.

Speaking of flower pots, though, as you dug to the bottom to see an assortment of candles, your perusing of the varieties of scents was cut short by another delivery.

Two men came in holding flower pots and vases. From what you could make out, there was a small cactus and a fern, and a large arrangement that seemed to hold one of every single type and color of flower under the sun being carried by the first man. You peered over the contents of your desk to see Detective Lang nodding at you. Great, this was drawing attention.

The second delivery boy came with a huge vase full of red roses, to which Scott shrugged and shook his head, pointing and mouthing, “that one’s not one of Steve’s guys,” to you.

Before you could get up to even look at the cards to the flowers, a manifestation of the unwanted attention you had garnered was sauntering over to your desk in the form of Detective John Walker. Literally the worst guy here. The only reason he was a detective was because he was so focused on pleasing the dude bros of superior management, but God forbid he take advice from you or any female officer on the force.

Before you could stop him, he reached out and grabbed the card out of the roses. “Got a secret admirer, Decky?”

You rolled your eyes, tempted to slap his hand and keep him away from your stuff. “Don’t call me that. Only friends call me that.”

He laughed as he read the small piece of card stock he fiddled with between his fingers. “What about Lucas Bell? Seems like he’s a friend, and maybe more than that for sending you a bouquet like this.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Lucas? You searched through the other arrangements to see if there was another card, which you found in the colorful, less aggressive bouquet. SR. Somehow the both of them had sent you flowers on the same day? What was Lucas doing sending you flowers? You literally never talked to him. You made sure of that as much as possible. It was so odd.

From what you could gather, Steve had sent you the gorgeous flowers, along with the potted plants, and a single wooden yellow rose you hadn’t noticed before. Sure, it was… a lot, but it was tasteful, and something about it made you warm. Poor thing really just sent one of everything possible, but it was the kindest gesture that had happened for you in a long time. If this was the apology you got for something as simple as an interruption from Bucky on something you weren’t even sure was a date, then there’s no telling what else Steve could possibly have up his sleeve. His ridiculous, designer sleeve.

In a strong juxtaposition, though, looking at the bouquet from Lucas almost made you sick to your stomach. Such a forward flower to send out of the blue to someone who you almost never talk to. You knew you couldn’t call and complain to your mom about this, either, because she’d say something about him being so sweet and famous. Like those were good markers in a partner: fake television demeanor qualities.

Walker set down the card again and began to rifle through the contents of your gift basket. “Man, looks like Lucas really wants you to go on a date with him. Sent you all these sweets and said so in the card. Mind if I steal some?”

This time you did smack John’s hand, giving him a scowl. “This isn’t all from Lucas. Only those stupid roses over there are. And no, you can’t have anything. This is my stuff. God, for being a detective you’re terrible at reading the room. Now leave.”

Walker raised his hands in compliance and walked away. “Damn, okay. Don’t think it’s fair Lang gets pasta and I get hit, but whatever. Enjoy your love letters.”

You rolled your eyes before going over to the other side of the desk and reading the card from the roses. As much as you hated it, Walker was right. Lucas was asking to meet up. Just for a nice walk along the river. Sure, that seemed like an enjoyable activity, but only with someone you knew well enough to hold conversation. And he was more of the type to talk at you than with you.

You took the vase of roses over to the break room, placing them on the center of the table and shoved the card in your desk drawer before sitting back down again at the space cleared of everything except for what Steve had sent. When you peered around, you were satisfied by the reduction in glares your way as you sniffed through the remaining candle scents and chose what pasta to eat while working through your shift. Only Detective Lang was witness to the dopey smile on your face.

By the time Thursday had come around, you had finished all of your pasta leftovers and burned through a candle and a half, thoroughly enjoying all Steve had left you, even though you could tell some of the items were him throwing darts at a wall and hoping one would hit just right. But the thing was, just about everything in that basket was a straight bullseye.

You parked your car and got out on the busy street, dressed in a pantsuit from having to stand witness in a trial earlier. You were in the middle of a city block with shop windows recessed into the ground, standing at the top of a staircase, preparing to head down with a bag containing your athletic clothes in hand. You tightened the hair held up with your new scrunchie and took a deep breath. It looked like an old gym. Not quite what you expected, so you pulled out your phone to double check you got the right place. In your state of minor distraction, you just barely clocked the sound of shouting and pounding footsteps coming from your side. But by the time you looked up to see a man sprinting towards you, it was too late. He shoved you out of his way, down into a puddle. You were barely able to sit up enough to see someone else chasing him, far behind and much slower. You squinted as the form changed from a jog to a walk and came into focus. Walker. He threw his arms up in exasperation when he saw it was you.

“Way to fucking go, Decks. You let my perp get away!”

You stood up out of the stagnant water, brushing yourself off ineffectively as it had already soaked into the material. Luckily, you were going to be changing soon anyway, but after that and everything else, today was not the day for Walker to get all high and mighty with you.

“Walker, that’s not my job. How was I supposed to know that was your perp? Or a perp at all?”

He rolled his eyes and threw his hands to his hips, looking at your bag that still was thrown to the side on the ground, not making an effort to pick it up. “Who else would be running in a city? Obviously someone guilty!”

You bent down to grab the dusty duffle and slung it over your shoulder, cocking your head to your side. Your voice was becoming sharper, meaner. “People run in the city all the time, but that’s besides the point. How am I supposed to ID any of your perps if you refuse to tell anyone about your cases or let them help you until it’s too late? The reason that guy got away is your fault because I wasn’t properly informed. Maybe if you weren’t so wrongfully prideful and said where you were going or who you were going after before you left, you could’ve had backup. From someone actually on shift.”

Walker groaned and straightened his arm out past your shoulder, gesturing towards the direction where the man ran. “I was assuming you would take on that responsibility and be able to see the man very evidently running away from me, but no, you were stupid. Just like how you were about Lucas Bell. Maybe if you were smart, you would’ve taken him up on that date. Yeah, I saw how you discarded those roses. But just like the way you shove off your work, you shoved him off.”

You scoffed. Your annoyance made it so you couldn’t hear a jingle of a bell from the door down the steps behind you open while John was yapping on and on. “What does that have to do with anything right now!? Walker, I don’t shove off work, and if I’m stupid, you’re a literal brick. I’ve told you time and time again, I’m working dozens of cases at a time to your one, so you can hop off my back. Plus, I’m not a detective, but by the fact that you are, I can’t believe you’d be so brainless.”

You watched as his boastfully broad shoulders began to slump into an almost cowering form, so you kept going. “And what’s up with your obsession with Lucas Bell? I see the way you throw yourself at him at every crime scene. Do you think he’s going to give you some sort of connection? You’re a cop. You should be the one with connections! Is it a crush? Go home. To. Your. Wife.”

You were heaving breaths after your rant as you felt a presence loom over your shoulder. You turned to see what it was, only to be met by a familiar chest, upon which sat a head of messy blond hair, connected by a pair of shoulders that were begging to be let out of the confines of their white t-shirt and a thick neck somewhere in the middle. Steve.

He looked down and gave you a smile before shooting an intimidating gaze at Walker. “I believe you heard her. Go. Home.”

John simply nodded and turned to jog away in the direction from where he came, not daring to look back.

Your eyes stayed on Steve, but you didn’t share his smile, still frustrated with the situation. “I was handling that.”

He simply nodded, grabbing your bag off your shoulder and putting his hand on the small of your back to guide your down the stairs. “I could tell. You were doing a great job. Bullies need stood up to. I really don’t like them.”

You laughed dryly, walking through the door he held open for you. “Yeah, he’s pretty much as awful as it gets.”

You walked in to see the old gym, occupied mostly by a bunch of older guys using punching bags on the other side of a boxing ring, but otherwise empty. No one even spared the two of you a confused or judging glance. Steve gently directed you to the back of the room, handing your bag back and gesturing to a locker room. “You can go ahead and change in here. No one will bother you. And then come find me in the ring.”

He left you with a wink and a pat on the back.

Throwing endless punches was just what you needed after that whole altercation with Walker, and Steve was more than happy to oblige. He stood opposite you in the ring, giving small directions and corrections you were taking exceptionally well. After the initial rage wore off, the two of you stopped for water.

Steve handed you your bottle as he took a sip of his own. He had been relatively quiet so far, so you decided to ask him a question that was on your mind. “So why here? Why’d you want to go boxing?”

That wasn’t a question he was expecting, and it wasn’t one he wanted to truthfully answer. Sure, the two of you had hung out before, but this isn’t the usual destination of a date, much less a third date. If he was being honest, it was because he wanted to make sure you knew self defense. With your proximity to him and Bucky, it wasn’t out of the question that you might need those skills if the time came. When the time came, when he could finally bring himself to tell you about his job outside of the businesses you knew.

Instead, he just shrugged one shoulder, sliding the sparring mitts back on his hands. “Thought it might be a good release of pent up energy. Lang told me you had to sit for a court case today, figured you’d want to blow off some steam. And now that I see what other stuff you’ve got to deal with on a daily basis, I’m wondering why I haven’t asked you to join me every day. You need it after working with a douche like Walker. Although, I’m not sure if my poor hands could handle much more.”

He feigned a pout as you let out a breathy laugh, putting your gloves back on, as well, agreeing with his assessment. As the two of you stepped back into the center of the ring and started another round, albeit slower, Steve piped up. “Okay, my turn. What’s the deal with Lucas Bell? I heard you two talking about him. Did you guys mean the news reporter?”

You sighed, doing your best to keep a rhythm to your punches and ducking under Steve’s arm. “Uh, yeah. That’s the one. Lucas and I grew up together, so he contacts me every now and again. Sent flowers to my work the other day. Asked to take me for a date on the riverwalk, but I turned it down.”

Steve shuffled lightly on his feet, keeping you on your toes. He did his best to imbue his tone with genuine curiosity and nothing else. “Why’d you say no?”

You stopped in your tracks, but kept your arms up. “Well, do you think I should’ve said yes?”

Steve felt something in his gut at that. Of course he didn’t want you to have said yes, but he had no jurisdiction over that. And he still wasn’t exactly sure what was going on between the two of you. Whether or not you considered it friendship or something more like he had wanted it to be. “Well, I’m not in charge of you.”

You nodded and went back to throwing soft punches. “That’s right. But you should know, he’s historically not my favorite. He’s nice and all, I guess, but I honestly can’t stand him. Never been able to since we were kids. Everyone always thought it was nice that he would bring me flowers and stuff but it was just obsessive and weird to me. I never bought into his charms like all our neighbors expected me to. Anyway, I enjoy someone else’s company a little more.”

Steve hung on to the last part of your statement. Were you talking about him? He hoped so. But after getting caught up in the thought of that, he didn’t realize he had stopped moving until you gave him a punch on the shoulder.

Instead of flinching or being upset, though, he just shared your playful smirk at the dreamy look on his face and replied with a quip. “C’mon, Decky. You can hit harder than that. Where’s all that energy? I thought the pasta I sent you would have helped to carboload for today.”

You laughed and mixed it with a deep breath before going back in, harder. “Oh trust me, I could do this all day. And thanks for that gift by the way, it was really nice of you.”

Your eyes caught his sparkling blue ones for a second, sharing sincerity. “Any time. Honestly. You can go into any of my restaurants whenever you want and get anything you desire. On me. Just say your name and they’ll know.”

You shook your head free of his earnest gaze. “Steve, that’s no way to run a business. You can’t just give handouts to everyone.”

“They’re not for everyone. Just for you. Let me do this. That way you never have to worry about cooking for yourself on those hard days when you get home late. You can enjoy a carefree night out, or the celebration of a solved case. Let me at least do that for you.”

You finally relented, dropping your head to your chest before finally beginning to punch Steve’s hands as hard as you were at the beginning of the session. You next word came through clenched teeth, partially from his persistence and the smile you were trying to bite back at just how giving he was willing to be for you. “Fine.”

Steve smiled brightly at your new found energy and the acceptance of his offer. “Atta girl.”

Next >

Bonus A/N: we all know a Walker, but we all deserve to know a Steeb

Series Taglist: @evie-119

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topgunreacts · 9 months

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Principles of Aviation

An IceMav omegaverse tale

Chapter One Snippet

The call from destiny came on a Tuesday morning. Its arrival was not terribly early, but Maverick had been out bar hopping well into the witching hour, so seven AM might just as well have been half past midnight. Maverick rolled over carefully so as not to disturb the bed’s other occupant, and picked up the phone. He was midway through a groggy greeting when the voice on the other end of the line interrupted him.

“Mitchell,” a man barked. “We’ve found you a match. You’re to report to the Pheromonal Analysis and Pair Bonding Allocation Center in one hour. Bring your rut prescriptions.”

The voice was stern. Mildly annoyed. And quite familiar to Maverick’s ears. Captain Anderson didn’t make a habit of leaving his hoity-toity office to visit TOPGUN’s facilities across the station, but whenever he did, he always made time to hound his least favorite naval aviator regarding said aviator’s unacceptable marital status. Last year, in a moment of deceitful brilliance, Maverick had managed to get the brass off of his back—for good, he’d thought. It was a good story, with a leading lady worthy of the starring role. But the fact that Anderson had summoned Maverick to the fun police directly from home could only mean that the jig was up.

“Yes, sir,” Maverick said.

Click. The line went dead. Groaning, Maverick hung up the phone and rolled back over until he was on his back again, glaring up at the slowly rotating ceiling fan.

“It was nice while it lasted,” said a sleepy, feminine voice to Maverick’s left. The mattress dipped as Charlie turned to her side and propped up her upper body on one elbow. She’d been warning Maverick about this very phone call for months.

“I think we have to see other people,” Maverick said. “They know we’re not going to breed.”

Charlie gave him an affectionate smile. “Maverick, anyone with a functioning nose could tell we’ve never had sex with one another. Did you really think this would work?”

“I hoped it would.”

Charlie gestured towards the phone with her chin. “So, is PAPBAC having you meet another female today?”

“A male,” Maverick corrected.

“Really.” Charlie raised her eyebrows, thought for a moment, and then frowned. “Maverick, you didn’t—”

“Tell them I was gay to buy more time? Yes. Yes, I did.” Swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress, Maverick sat up. The five drinks lingering in his body in the form of nausea protested, but Maverick brushed them aside. “I really, actually thought to myself, ‘Hey, Mitchell, you know what would make the Navy stop pressuring you to do the mommy-daddy dance to produce more alpha male pilots? Telling them you’re gay.’ And I did not for one moment imagine that they would simply switch tracks from straight to otherwise and find me some prince charming in heat who needs my dick to calm him down so he can fly straight.”

“Well, of course they did. You’re famous now,” Charlie said. “Maybe if you’d done this before you finished TOPGUN, you’d have gotten away with it. They seemed eager to let your father’s line die out back then, anyway. But the Layton changed everything. It proved to the Navy that you’ve got pheromonal and genetic potential. They’re not going to let you fly under the radar anymore.”

Grumbling under his breath, Maverick wiggled out of his underwear, wadded them up, and threw the ratty ball towards the laundry basket in the corner. Miss. “Why not?”

“Because everyone’s eyes are on you,” Charlie said, slowly edging towards the warm spot Maverick’s body had left behind. “And they see an intelligent, talented young man whose recklessness needs to be tamed if he’s going to advance his career. They want to see you steady. Stable. If you aren’t going to breed, then maintaining a long-term relationship with a male omega is perfect for that. It forces you to settle down, and ensures he will, too.”

“But why push this so hard right now, all of a sudden?”

Charlie settled into Maverick’s side of the mattress and shrugged. “Maybe this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or maybe that male they matched you with needs immediate attention.”

“Of course he does,” Maverick muttered darkly. “Of course my life doesn’t matter as much as his.”

Swiping a hand over his face, Maverick stood and made his way naked to the bathroom. Charlie didn’t care. She’d seen it all before, and hadn’t been interested.

“Don’t take your medication,” Charlie called to him. Like Maverick, she wasn’t a morning person, and would remain in bed until the last minute. She even showered at night to sleep in as late as possible. “The first thing they’ll have you do is quit, cold turkey. You might as well get a head start.”

#top gun #icemav #writing #top gun fanfiction #iceman kazansky #maverick mitchell #principles of aviation #alternate intro post #less metadata more Substance

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mudhamster · 6 months

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CHWHWN: 13. December - "quirk analysis"

Kacchan: Deku deku deku *image attached* You still think you can tell me things about myself that I don't know Deku: That's a fact I guess everyone you ask could tell you something about yourself that you don't know yet Or don't want to realize Or want to hear Which is why you don't ask anyone Which brings us back to the beginning Anyway It doesn't have to be about you Kacchan: It's always about me. You write books (plural!!)about me Deku: I write books about everyone Kacchan: and yet, there are more than 2 about me Deku: how do you know that Kacchan: I've been in your room Deku: Less than 20min ⊙︿⊙ Kacchan: Didn't even need 2 to figure that out … Do you have a book about yourself? Deku: More than 2... I've about one book for every 2 quirks Kacchan: Or 2 books for one Quirk ghehe Deku: oh my god Kacchan, yes, you're so so SO special :D Why did you ask Kacchan: I want to see your notes about yourself. Deku: Seriously? There are much more interesting ones, though? Kacchan: My note, my will Your room or mine? Deku: mine...?

And although Izuku had thought a lot in the few minutes that had passed before Katsuki knocked, he had never expected how smoothly the other would step over the threshold into his nerdy safe space. He found his usual place by the bed, just like the last time, and waited, almost without looking annoyed, until Izuku wordlessly handed him what he wanted to read. The notebook. This, and then… a lot more. Minutes passed unnoticed, then hours, and finally, with a half-hearted glance at his alarm clock, he realized that they had already been sitting there longer than it would have been possible on any other day, like the movie night. Countless notebooks around them, open and filled to the brim with sticky notes. Izuku didn't even notice when Katsuki grabbed the notebooks about himself and his explosions from the shelf. They talked and talked and laughed and talked some more and then they compared their achievements, added the notebook about Shouto to their comparison scale and suddenly it was way past midnight - and Izuku couldn't believe it when he briefly checked the time with the first pangs of real tiredness. "Wow," he breathed, eyes glued to the clock, "if we had watched a movie last Wednesday, we would have finished much earlier than today." "Yeah, it escalated a bit." "Things always escalate with you. It comes with friendship." Kacchan takes a breath, looks at him, then nods.

"Right." And suddenly the question crossed his mind, as it had a thousand times that day: Had Kacchan already drawn 'the hug'? And as always, he couldn't stop himself and asked what he had to ask: "Do you want to do… ugh……. one of the other two notes? Maybe?" Because… if it was the hug… then today would be a good day for it, wouldn't it? But Katsuki just took a quick peek at his bed and Izuku's guts took the bottomless elevator down to the basement. WHAT. Why… the look at the bed???!!!????? "Not today." WHAT?!!!? Izuku became metaphorically deaf as the voice in his head screeched out all the questions at the highest frequency possible. Just a welding seam would have closed his mouth tighter than it already was. He couldn't say a word as he watched Kacchan carefully piling up the notebooks and then searching for his cell phone. Right, they had been talking so much that they hadn't had a phone in their hands for more than four hours. But of course, Izuku knew where it was. "I plugged it in earlier, … it's on my nightstand." …. next to a picture of them - Katsuki and Izuku - and suddenly he realized that Kacchan would see the picture. It was turned, not visible from any other angle in the room. But would he sit down on his bed, close enough to the pillow to unplug his phone ---- "WAIT, wait I'll get - Kacchan -!!" But … the mobile was already in his hand. And to Izuku's world-ending shock, the picture as well. He wanted to faint. On the spot. Suddenly, he felt naked, as if he had been put in the stocks, stripped and splashed with cold water. Was it too much? Was it too obvious? Did Kacchan know from the picture that he had more in mind than the platonic deepening of their friendship? Crap. CRAP. But with each passing day, they were getting closer to the end anyway. The end that would decide whether Kacchan and Deku would be one step closer to being MORE than friends next year, or whether they would be nothing at all. In the long run, it was inevitable. In those 10 seconds that Izuku had a severe pre-crisis, Kacchan had put the picture back and grabbed his backpack. As if he hadn't seen anything. As if such a picture, kept almost secret, was something normal. Not worth mentioning. "See you tomorrow, nerd," he said. So casually, so banally, nudging Izuku's shoulder, who almost had an out-of-body experience by the touch. And then the door closed and Izuku's eyes almost popped out as he stared like crazy from the door to the picture and back to the door. What - the - flip.

#bkdk #mha #bakudeku #izuku midoriya #boku no hero academia #chwhwn #deku #fanfiction #fluff #kacchan #christmas calendar #katsuki bakugou #katsudeku #chatfic #ao3 fanfic

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fluffalpenguin · 11 months

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@arcvmonth day 24: the manga

oh man oh MAN it's vj day!!!!!

it's pretty funny how all my gifs are mostly yuri-centered huh

Under the cut:

revisiting my review of the manga from last year

Headcanons and fic/comic ideas

rambling about an old WIP

small playlist! (with write-ups!)

First of all, here's the 3,000 words analysis/blog thing I wrote last year when I first finished it.

One and a half years later, I still largely agree with it! There's some headcanons I wrote in there that I completely forgot about, lol, so I'm glad past me posted it somewhere for current me to relieve it again! (The rants were also kind of funny to re-read too)

***

Next, headcanons!

Lately, I found myself wondering about Yuto and Yuri's outfits; specifically-

...Why are they walking around Maiami with dramatic red/black capes?

After some time in the kitchen, I decided that when Yuya was younger, he was really into good versus evil roles when rehearsing his dueltainment lines. And who else better to serve as his practice opponents than his two brothers who aren't off busy making rounds at the stadium on a D-Wheel?

Tying his own fluffy, white towel around his shoulders, Yuya throws a nearby black blanket to Yuto. The oldest is initially a little embarrassed about the notion, but no one can ever say no to the baby of the Sakaki family, can they? (He'll just have to live the shame down from the twins later on... They barely even respect him as they are right now, anyway) In the middle of the duel, Yuri walks in onto the two of them after having finished his homework (or tweaking his deck). He raises an eyebrow at Yuto's appearance, but gets the gist of the situation when he sees their duel disks activated and Yuya standing on top of the sofa in a similar attire. As Yuto steals Yuya's schtick and becomes a tomato, Yuri pouts about being left out and quickly leaves to hunt for something that will allow him to join the fun. When the duel ends, Yuto passes the baton to Yuri. As he watches the two rattle off silly, goofy lines like, I will destroy the planet, the universe, all the worlds! and, Never! I'll stop you, fiend!, Yuto sighs in relief. At least Yuya now has Yuri to LARP with. Maybe Yugo would volunteer too, once he returned from driving practice and hears about it. Though, he'd likely ask to play the part of the hero himself. Anyway, Yuto's already almost in middle school; he's getting a little too old to play with costumes now. Then afterwards, at dinner, with an angelic smile Yuya says, "Yuuto, can we play like that again sometime? You look so cool with a cape!"

Yuri on the other hand, always had a tendency for the melodramatic, his own personal spin of the theatrics he's seen from his dad! Deep down he really loves playing the villain.

(This was meant to be a short description but I couldn't help putting some fic-like sentences in there tehe also yes that's a reference to the conversation between Yuya and G.O.D./Eve)

***

(warning: angst ahead)

Another headcanon I have that I want to write/draw something for is that in the postcanon where Reiji, Yuya, Isaac and Ren travel through space and time together, Yuya has moments where he falters to his grief.

He's used to his brothers commenting and nagging him on almost anything and everything (A midnight snack? Think about your complexion, Yuya!) and his world is suddenly a lot more quiet. In his hurt, he starts to avoid Ren, not wanting to be reminded of what he's lost (He doesn't feel good about it).

Eventually Reiji intervenes and Yuya opens up a little. He's been unable to properly let himself grief for his brothers. All he wants to say is that he misses them.

But he doesn't feel like he has the right to do so, having being the one to seal their fates by personally destroying the one method of bringing them back to life. He doesn't regret his decision of course, but he's unable to stop himself from feeling this way too.

It has a happy ending; Reiji convinces Yuya to talk to Ren. Yuya shares stories about Yugo at Ren's request, making the both of them laugh. Yuya realises that there are other methods of bringing back people to life, too, even if only momentarily.

But it is enough.

***

Misc hcs:

Yuya's charisma and attitude is a combination of his three brothers fawning over his cuteness from birth and Yuya being so star-struck with Yusho's performances he attempted to replicate the movements ever since he could walk.

Being the oldest, Yuto feels a sense of responsibility for his brothers and pledged to take care of them in place of his always-missing parents. However, he oft times finds himself not having to do much because Yugo and Yuri are so determined to win over Yuya's heart (and be proclaimed 'favourite brother') that they also make sure to set a good example for the youngest when possible. This causes Yuto a little bit of an identity crisis (/j it's just for fun) until he settles into his role as the househusband cook.

"All of us... are connected by... the arc of destiny!"

Reiji and Yuya are supposed to be silhouetted by their fathers, so Yuzu is meant to seem like she's looking at Yuya, but is in fact looking at Yusho. I also think VJ Yuto should be allowed to smile more!

This drawing is meant to be my love letter to the manga as a whole, and ESPECIALLY the last duel between Reiji and Yuya. I talked about it a whole ton in the review linked above already, so go check that out if you haven't!!

I was really happy with the composition when I first made this, especially with Sora/Ren/Isaac Versus the Yus mirroring their duels! (Well, okay, I know Isaac didn't duel Yuto but.... just give this to me)

Anyway I really wanted a fun and positive energy for it! Every month I think about returning to this but I get slightly demotivated when I realise I have *zero* colour references for both Ren and Isaac... Please send in your headcanons...

***

Last but not least, last month I got brain worms for another animatic/hand-drawn MV for Eve's Fight Song! I'll never ever have to time to go back to it, but I wanted to take the chance to talk about other songs that make me ill when I think about them with the manga.

1. Myth & Roid - TRAGEDY:ETERNITY

Don’t give me an eternity Even if that’s all I can believe Press pause on the flow of time In the shadow of the blink of an eye I don’t wanna fall into a sleep ‘Cause now you are my remedy Now knocking on, knocking on, knocking on my brain Even for the temptation of a nightmare Fate demands a costly reparation for its fare

Translated lyrics mostly from lyrical-nonsense, but I made some changes for better rhyming and flow yahoo!! This song is what I imagine the OP would be in my dreams when it received an anime adaptation, I've always dreamed of making my own animatic to it!!

Not just the chorus, but the ENTIRE SONG (pleeeease go take a look at the lyrics) feels like it's made for the manga please please go take a look

2. MYTH & ROID - -to the future days

I cast my wishes to the future days If we can meet on the other side of eternity… I cast my wishes to the future days What should we talk about first? Sadness and even joy will, eventually Will sleep together That's the way life is If such a world could be granted Would nobody feel hurt anymore?

Yeah I like M&R quite a bit, how'd you know

If T:E was the hypothetical OP, this is my pick for the ED theme, like AAAAAAAA for me it encompasses the yu's story so so so so so so so well, though

And:

Both despair and also life come to end eventually Take this future into your hands and let it run its course Spin it ’round…… The hands on the clock spin around Like flowers, petals falling and fluttering Once we blossom, we dissipate in the moment THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THE LYRICS ARGHHHHHHHH This is definitely for me, the moment when the three yus start to fade during Yuya's battle with Eve, their last conversation they have with yuya..... *lies onto the ground in a pile of misery*

Rest of the lyrics HERE shoves it into your face

3. MAISONdes - Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous

It's no joke, no it's not! Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous Even when the time comes nothing will come of it Vague truths only become melancholy Come on and snatch me away now, take on me!

This is a fun one, when I watched the PV and in the chorus Lum was spinning I instantly went wow what if that was Phantom.. and then the lyrics bared their claws and sunk them into my brain and hasn't really let go since

Unlike the above two songs, not all of the lyrics are a perfect match, of course, but I adore how in general the whimsical yet lonely nature of the song feels like it fits Phantom so well!

4. Eve - Fight Song

As the night still refuses to end, let’s dream

Last but not least the song I posted the above storyboard for! CSM fans (as well as Eve fans, lol) are probably already familiar with the song, and full lyrics here, though like the song above, only parts of the song (particularly the chorus) really resonated with the vj brainworms in my head lol Even for me, y’know Let’s make a break for the future Towards the verge of death like we pray for A boy that gave his word Today, just like back then As if there’s no more future ahead

Sigh.... Yuto, Yugo, Yuri................ Just let out your voice Let’s take it easy We don’t even know common sense, so we know the world through wise eyes These overflowing feelings, behold Greet me with an applause

I love the first half a lot, I can easily imagine Yuya saying it to the other three... and of course, the latter, from him to the world! (or perhaps even G.O.D...)

As always thanks for reading GOODBYE I GOTTA GO DRAW SOME ARC-V OCS

#arc-v #arcvmonth2023 #arcvmonth #arc-v manga #pasu does not shut up

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reiningsoral · 2 days

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You can talk about Stuff for hours if you'd like, I don't mind

you know sometimes i forget this is the nerd website.

anyway you've given me an excellent excuse to talk about Stuff! disclaimer tho it's past midnight and im very very fucked in the brain rn bc finals r coming up... i kinda just used this as an excuse to word vomit a bunch of unrelated feelings and infodumps into on mildly incoherent post so yeah sorry bout that

mlp theory!!

so in the first episode of the first season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nightmare Moon is prophesized to be released/freed from her prison (the moon) by the stars. now that at first gets you thinking, "okay, but why would the stars want nightmare moon to be freed? she's evil." and you're right... kind of?

twilight's cutie mark is a sparkle, or rather, a star. see where im going? well now you're thinking "but twilight actively works against nightmare moon!" and you're right! but, i dont think the prophecy was actually about freeing nightmare moon, but about freeing Luna.

luna herself didnt ever want to cause the kind of harm that happened when she was nightmare moon, and she was essentially imprisoned in her own mind via corruption in a weird sort of venom-and-eddie-but-not-really kind of thing

twilight sparkle, the stars, frees Luna from her prison (nightmare moon) which was a state originally brought on by corruption, i think(?)

dhmis!!

dont hug me im scared makes me very nostalgic for a multitude of reasons, but also extremely uncomfortable in a comforting way?

uh if you havent guessed im autistic (undiagnosed but whtv) and this section of my half-past-midnight, feelings-induced, whatever-ness of a post/ask answer is about how dhmis made me feel and why i guess

dhmis makes me think of jack stauber's videos. i think the connection is pretty obvious, i mean, you cant take a look at bumblebees are out and then take a look at dhmis and tell me they arent at all similar.

umm, dhmis's approach to horror is very interesting and unique to itself, its (or was, when it was first introduced) a very new style of horror. it's a psychological nightmare, but even without the even surface-level analysies of the psychological horror, it's still absolutely horrifying. it's uncomfortable, it's gross, and it's generally very unpleasant.

so like,,, why do we watch it?

or i guess, why do i watch it.

all three guys (yellow, red, duck) are trapped in this repeating nightmare of a day, with incompetent people masquerading as teachers who dont know what they're talking about. this, again, very deeply resonates with me, as the kid who had a lot of special interests which coincidentally corresponded to a lot of things we learned in school. i liked a lot of things science related, expecially since my parents are both scientists. i often like, knew more about the topics that were being taught (read: shoved down my throat, incorrectly i might add) to me. i, being the justice seeker i was, would raise my hand to correct the teacher because i needed to make sure that this clearly innocent mistake was corrected so that no one carried misinformation. which is rude, apparently, there's a reason i dont like talking about stuff anymore, thanks middleschool. that bit about yellow guy turning smart for a bit really hit, sorry.

the whole part of the first ever episode about the arranging-leaves-and-sticks-into-one's-favorite-color makes me think about that time in fifth grade. the scene is so hilariously jarring in one way, then it hits you again. "go and collect some leaves and sticks, and arrange them into your favorite colors" is a line that, at first, just makes completely no sense at all, because, how the fuck does one arrange a pretty much monochromatic pallette and arrange it to be in your favorite colors? youre given only a half a second to be confused before the three comply in a different way than the viewer didnt think was the option. they arrange the sticks to spell out thier favorite colors. and then, yeah! that makes sense, so youre satisfied. but the episode punches you in the goddamn face again, by telling yellow he's wrong because "green is not a creative color" which is both very jarring and triggering, and just, infinitely hilarious to me. so how does any of that remind me of fifth grade? it's more autistic childhood stuff, lmao:

when i was in fifth grade, i had teacher who didnt communicate her kind of already nonsensical rules in a way little autistic me could understand, and i didnt ask questions because id been trained to know that asking questions is "giving sass" or fucking, whatever the hell nt adults think it is idk. anyway, this one weekish, at some point, my more rowdy classmates had gotten out of hand using their water bottles and kept spilling water everywhere, so my teacher said that we had to keep our water bottles at her desk at all times. and i was immediately distressed for two reasons: one, it was interrupting a status-quo that had been established (i.e., keeping out water bottles by us, at our feet, every day), and two, i couldnt drink water if Ms. teacher had my bottle. and the way she said it made it extremely easy for an autistic who takes almost everything too literally to misinterpert what she was saying. everyone else got the memo apparently, but i didnt.

id go on more about this but im too tired for an emotional deep dive rn and i wasnt to make an actual post about just dhmis at some point. anyway the point ofthat section was basically i really relate to yellow guy.

the truman show!!

the truman show is a work of absolute fucking genius. i was actually introduced to it via ranboo's generation loss, which is an analogue horror series with a youtube channel with around six(?) vids and a three-part streamed-vod series which was inspired by the truman series i think.

anywaay the inherent horror but comfort in your whole entire life being carefully crafted to be entertainment for thousands upon thousands of people! untapped venting market tbh.

the way that, at the start of the movie, the show is already unraveling, his dad shows up in almost the first scene.

i think the way that the actors subtly break character throughout the show and then try to cover it up in a way that makes sense to their character so that truman doesnt realize they're not real.

but then how the subtlety of the character breaks slowly becomes less and less subtle, and it just... unravels.

um, anyway yeah theres a couple of,,, things that ive been kinda thinking about, mostly incomprehensible because yet again it's past midnight, but i needed to word vomit idk

#ask #the truman show #dhmis #mlp #autism #adhd #word vomit #dont judge me bro im really tired and have been listening to patricia taxxon this whole time so its really weird ok!#also yeah bestie at some point one of my senseless infodumps about probably fucken. mlp. will come for you #so yeah thanks for the confirmation you're chill with it :3 #idek what half of this post says tho #i really was just typing.

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inzaynety · 4 months

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your serenade ⤫

➢ summary: the reassurance of a “lub-dub”

➢ content: zayne x fem!reader; 954 words; fluff & a little angst; my attempt at character analysis; some background is based off of his tender moment (fragmented dreams)

➢ notes: the day came when i finally raised his heart rate 🤭 also i love how they make him so sarcastic yet so loving over you i cry

Zayne is cradled against you as you both lay in bed. It’s nearing midnight and he knows that the both of you need to get up early tomorrow, but he can’t find it in himself to fall asleep. You’ve already been sent to dreamland and he feels warmth in his chest when your hold on him tightens whenever you find yourself releasing him subconsciously.

Your soft breaths sway the stray hairs on the top of his head and your chest rises and falls with each one. It hadn't been that long since you said good night and it always surprises him with how quickly you fall asleep. Once your head hits the pillow, you’re out like a light. It’s an opposite reaction to what you’ve been telling as of late: that some nightmares keep you up.

Although, whenever you sleep with him beside you, it comes so easily. He thinks he’s giving himself too much credit.

But he wishes it was the same for him.

There have been times when he wakes up slumped over on his desk in his office chair, not remembering when he closed his eyes and dozed off. Work is always tiring but at the same time it’s worthwhile. Though, the exhaustion and simultaneous inability to sleep were getting to him. The former was inevitable, but the latter was what scared him

No, the reason wasn’t because he was worried about not getting enough sleep–that’s what you thought. He never told you the main reason why.

All he’s seen lately was you in his dreams. They start light and he thinks he’s had a permanent smile etched onto his face there when you show up. But then it changes. Wanderers come from all sides and all he can do is watch as you fight.

The waves keep coming and coming and it’s like they ignore his presence and keep their targets on you. He can’t tear his eyes away from the sight when you’re slowly consumed by them and he tries to yell, but no noise comes out.

Then he jerks awake. Every time.

He can’t do anything.

He breathes out a huff just thinking about it, hands coming to absentmindedly tap your sides, soft and slow.

It was definitely past twelve now the tiredness will definitely catch up to him during the day.

He half expects you to wake up out of nowhere like you do sometimes, whether it be when you have an unpleasant dream or even when you shift away from him. But no, you seem to be sleeping so soundly now. He likes how you are when you do wind up awake and don’t want to fall back asleep until he does first; you almost always wake him up along the way.

“Alright,” he tilts his head back, “don’t come whining to me when you’re exhausted tomorrow. You’re quite a handful.”

“I thought you didn’t mind?” You retort and click your tongue. Zayne smiles and pushes your head to him, planting a kiss on your forehead. He can’t have you offended for too long.

His eyes trail up to your sleeping face and he thinks as to why this is the first time he’s looked at you like this all night. Your eyes are shut and your mouth is slightly parted, definitely in your deepest part of sleep when you don’t move as he pulls away slightly to get a better look at you.

Zayne brings his hand to the side of your neck, feeling the warm skin under his palm and it’s an action he does a lot. He realized this a while back.

While he can hold your cheek and let your head rest in his hands, sometimes you bite. You bite and lick and do whatever it is instead of staying still when his hand is on your face that one day he holds you elsewhere and it’s like you’ve reset. And to this day after that you smile when he does this.

And another thing.

His thumb brushes against your pulse point and he leaves it theorem awaiting the faint thumping. It’s not the most accurate measurement but it’s enough to let him know.

You’re still there. You’re still alive.

Here, he can do anything.

He allows himself to leave his hand there for a few more moments until you decide to switch up your sleeping position. He lets you pull him along and finds himself with his head on your chest.

And there he hears it.

Thump thump thump.

He hears it during your regular visits to the office and you would think he’d be used to it by now. It’s a rhythmic pattern he’s heard over and over and it’s not just from you either. The elderly, adults, children, and babies have varying speeds and prominence–but they’re not yours. Monitoring it for the sake of your health has had him grown accustomed to its particular sound.

He blinks, unwilling to move lest you actually open your eyes this time. It’s right under his ear as clear as day; he can’t move.

HIs breathing quiets, all he wants to hear is that.

You’re there with him. You’re sleeping beside him. You’re alive.

Your job saves lives, much like his, but there never is a guarantee that yours will make it out to the end of the day. Not with those wanderers around.

So when you come home and settle yourself to him, he reaches for this. Finally, he closes his eyes.

–

Your body feels heavy when you wake up, only to find the reason when you look down. Deciding quickly, you remain where you are. It doesn’t hurt to stay an extra five minutes when Zayne sleeps so soundly against you.

#zayne x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #zayne fluff #zayne angst #fics

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night-filled-mountain · 4 years

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Dude, Jasper’s epilogue is hanging a lampshade on everything that I spent whole swaths of this year writing meta about re: his feelings for Annabelle, and I don’t know whether to be proud of my deductive skills or offended at how much typing it would have saved me if I’d known it was coming.

#la by night #s1e9 #jasper #annabelle #'i admire her not playing the game because i wish i weren't playing the game'#DAMN IT JASPER THAT'S LIKE 10 POSTS' WORTH OF ANALYSIS #...yes i am randomly getting back into this show at half past midnight on a friday #why do you ask

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bisexual-horror-fan · 2 years

Note

hi sry if u have enough time i was wondering if u could pls do another poly billy/stu or sinclair boys fluff? just wondering have a nice day

My requests were closed and I was gonna turn you down but fuck it, after the events of today I think we all NEED some good polyam content! I thought some poly!Ghostface was especially appropriate all things considered! I hope you dig this! I am also dedicating this to one of my besties on here @polyghostfacehours, a totally amazing and wonderful person who deserves nothing but the best always! She has fantastic opinions, analysis and is a total joy to be around, she pushes me as a writer constantly too so let’s get into it!

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Rating. SFW. Length. 1.2K. Billy Loomis X Stu Macher X AFAB! GN! Reader. No Specified Pronouns. Poly!Ghostface. Warnings: Cuddling. Alcohol Mention. Sleepover. Sweetness. Mention Of Reader’s Tits. Nothing Else.

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Is It Late? Or Early?

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You had such a good night tonight.

Billy and Stu and you had one of those hang outs that just kept stretching on and on without ending. One of those days that you intend to just chill for a couple of hours, watch a movie maybe two but instead of it ending there you watch another, and then are all taking turns playing music and showing each other stupid videos.

Then it’s dinner time and you get two pizzas and breadsticks and fuck it, there’s beer in the fridge and you end up playing a few rounds of cards before you all want dessert and realize you need to do something about that. You all get into Billy’s car and go to the grocery store to get the ingredients to bake cookies and less than half an hour later Stu is “helping” you cream together butter and sugar and his version of helping is refusing to move his arms from around you as YOU work on the cookie dough as Billy watches on, very amused.

So then it’s past ten, you are all eating melty and messy chocolate chip cookies from a plate, almost shoulder to shoulder, in front of the tv watching your fourth? Fifth? Movie of the day. On and on it goes until it hits somewhere around three and instead of going home you are in some clothes Stu offered over and getting into bed with the two of them. The three of you were tired, having been hanging over over twelve hours straight but you were still clinging to wakefulness, talking as you settled into the plush sheets in the dark room.

“Does it matter?” Billy sighed and Stu scoffed, even in the dark you could tell he rolled his eyes, “Uh, yes! Obviously it does matter dude, otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about it!”

“You! Are talking about it, not us, you are talking about it, you started this-” Billy started and Stu cut him off, “Anyway! Let’s go over this again-”

Billy wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in your neck with a groan, “Must we?”

“C’mon, let’s hear him out.” You pressed a kiss to Billy’s forehead and he finally conceded, grumbling, “Okay, okay, fucking fine.” From the tone you could tell Stu was beaming as he said, “Thank you!”

He rolled onto his side, head resting on one of his hands as he started again, “So! We can all agree that it is officially like ‘late’ after midnight, right?”

You and Billy hummed in agreement which encouraged the excitable blonde to continue, “Okay! So when does it switch? Like midnight is late and like six am is early but when does it flip from being late to being early?”

A quiet fell over the three of you. A beat and then Billy breaks the silence, “Shit.”

“Right?!” Stu asked enthusiastically, clearly excited he had won you both over on this.

You piped up with, “I wanna say three am. That feels right to me.”

“Isn’t that the witching hour?” Stu asked and you replied, “I think so. It makes sense right? There is like a shift at that time, maybe that is the shift, from late to early.”

Billy snorted, his arms loosening as he attempted to look at you in the low light of the bedroom, “You think that is what makes the witching hour like that? The change from the time being considered late to early?”

“I mean why not! You got a better answer Loomis?” You taunted and Stu joined in, leaning over your shoulder, piling on as he asked, “Yeah, Billy you got a better one?”

He thought for a moment before saying, “When do they start making breakfast at McDonalds?”

You and Stu break down laughing, Stu flops onto his back, a hand over his eyes and you are leaning into him, trying to catch your breath. “Tha-that’s the reasoning? McDonald’s breakfast is how we make the call?!”

“I don’t think my choice is any funnier than yours.” Billy defended which prompted you to scoot closer, hands reaching out to him as you cooed, “Awe sorry, you are right, it’s a perfectly fine answer.”

He allowed you to touch him, feeling your hands slide against his bare sides, you indulged in touching him, pulling closer. You loved his constant refusal to wear a shirt to bed, so much skin on skin contact was a treat, not to mention how comforting it was when sleeping with him.

“Perfectly stupid.” Stu teased and you teased him in kind, firing back, “Awe, just like you.”

“Ouch.” Stu said in mock hurt, before moving in closer again, he kissed you on the cheek as his hands come to your hips, murmuring in your ear, “Mmm, lucky you are so fucking cute.”

“I am thankful everyday that my cuteness gets me out of trouble.” You admitted before placing one back on his cheek in return which had him making a sound of contentment.

“What about me?” Billy asked and you barely held back the sound you were about to make, “So sorry your highness.” You press your lips to his and he returns your affection for a moment before you pull away, “Better?”

“Much.”

You all keep on talking, more sleepy and dumb conversation stretching on for nearly an hour after getting into bed, it had actually fallen quiet finally, you think this might be it and you all can manage a few hours sleep.

“You ever just hold your tits sometimes?”

Stu broke that silence.

You lifted your head up slightly as you inquired, “What?”

“Like I hear sometimes of people just holding their tits for like comfort or something. Do you do that?” Stu asked and you were sure Billy’s expression was as confused as yours.

You had no idea what to say, you were half asleep and were not expecting this sudden line of questioning. Billy seemingly picked up on this when he said, “I got this.”

He propped up on one elbow, looking over your body to Stu as he asked, “Where the fuck did you hear that?”

“I have my sources.” Stu’s cryptic answer did not help the situation whatsoever.

“I think they are bad sources dude.” Billy deadpanned and Stu argued back, “I’m not fuckin’ asking you anyway, so what you think doesn’t matter. If I had tits I would do it. Just get a handful whenever, seems fucking awesome.”

“You don’t have to ask me, I’m still gonna tell you that it’s dumb, cuz it is-” That is when you spoke up, “Well…”

They both stopped. You were sure their eyes were on you. “No fucking way, really?”

“I mean sometimes I’m bored and alone and they are just there and yeah it can be kinda comforting, okay?!” Stu cackled way too loud at nearly four in the morning and it had Billy shushing him, “Fuck man, keep it down! It’s too late for your dumbass to be that loud.”

“Don’t you mean it’s too early?” You asked innocently and Billy broke then, laughing and you didn’t care you were probably not getting any sleep any time soon. Sleepovers with them, even when they weren’t planned, were your favourite thing.

#Billy Loomis X Reader #Stu Macher X Reader #Poly!Ghostface X Reader #slasher x reader #BHF writing #BHF asks #Hope you enjoy this!#polyam positivity #Keeping the train going!#Also fuck the haters #x reader and polyam supremacy always

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reidyoulikeabook · 3 years

Note

the battery was dead

Ship: GN! Reader x Spencer Reid

Warnings: Mention of case-typical violence (more specifically, a bomb), told from Spencer's perspective and he experiences anxiety about reader having been harmed (they're okay though!), Spencer's self-deprecating thoughts, general mood of anxiety throughout, stressful team situation, big feelings of guilt, very much hurt/comfort.

Word count: 1.6k (i did not intend for this to be this long but it's basically a whole thing)

A/N: This is not what I intended to write today but my brain's on a whole hurt/comfort vibe apparently so here we are: something I wrote all in one go in about half an hour. Oops.

Everybody was in different places when the bomb went off. Spencer was with Derek, in an SUV headed uptown. The explosion was downtown. Where you'd been headed. Alone.

The geographical profile had indicated he wouldn't strike downtown. The geographical profile that he had made. The geographical profile that the team had trusted, that the team had based their assignments off, that had led Hotch to conclude it was safe to send you downtown alone.

"Garcia," Derek answers, putting her on loudspeaker and glancing at Spencer who could be pictured and pasted into the DSM-V as the definition of anxiety right now, "Garcia tell me you can patch everybody through."

"I'm trying," She rambles, her voice pitching upwards, "I'm patching ___ through now I'm trying their cell."

Spencer's leg bounces. It bounces so hard it's a miracle the velocity of it doesn't send Derek veering right across the road. He scratches at his neck. There are no words to be said. No words in any language in the world can describe the fear coursing through his body as he hears Garcia scramble, pressing keys and typing and he's only vaguely aware of Derek's hand coming to rest reassuringly on his bouncing knee, managing to still it just a little bit.

"___ will be fine," He reassures him, "Just fine. I promise. It's not your fault kid, you couldn't have known, how would you have known?"

"It's my job to know."

His tone is bitter, angry, and he feels even worse for it because it's not Derek's fault. Derek is trying to help. Derek is trying to be kind and somehow that's worse because he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anybody's kindness right now and he can't get your face out of his mind. How you'd smiled at him before walking out of the door of that precinct and how it might be the last time he ever got to see you smile and it was all his fault. All his fault.

His stomach is in knots. Garcia's practically smacking her precious equipment in her hurry and then the line goes mute.

"Garcia?" Derek asks again, "Garcia are you still there?"

There's a beat of silence and then the background noise returns, "I'm just trying ____'s cell."

What's taking so long? She could have tried by now. He's never known Garcia to be slow at her job and even though it feels like time has stopped. Fractured like a mirror, throwing off pieces, and he's trapped inside a piece that has all of the horror and guilt he's ever felt in his life staring him in the face. But she can work faster than that. Why isn't she working faster than that?

It all becomes clear as he hears her clack again. Then your voice floods the line.

"You've reached SSA ____ ____ of the Behavioural Analysis Unit. Please leave a voicemail, or if you're calling regarding an urgent matter then please direct your calls to SSA Aaron Hotcher at the following number-"

"Maybe she's already on the phone," Derek suggests, cutting over your recital of his number, "Maybe her line's already busy. Right Garcia, is her line already busy?"

"I can't tell."

She's lying. Spencer knows she's lying and it knocks him sick. He practically wrenches the handle to the window off in his quest to get it open. The cold air pours in and he feels worse. He can't allow himself to bask in any feeling of comfort when you're God knows where.

He can't let himself think like that. He blinks hard, shaking his head as if he can physically remove the images from his brain. They flash through, his neurons defying him as they keep picturing you in worse and worse scenarios, and he can't breathe.

"Pull over," He directs Derek, wrenching off his seatbelt before Derek even manages to get the car in park.

Somewhere amidst all of it, Hotch has been patched through.

"We're convening downtown. Our presence has been requested at the crime scene."

Derek is saying something to pacify him. Or he's telling him something. He can't tell because his head is swimming and then Derek is squeezing his shoulder, physically pulling him back into reality.

"Kid. Listen to me. You're not helping anybody getting yourself all worked up like this. We need to focus. We've got to work this through."

He nods. He nods because Derek is right. They do have to work this through. Even though they would be better working this through without him because he's the one who made the profile that was wrong and his contributions clearly can't be trusted and-

"Put your seatbelt on. Talk to me. Let's talk through how it could have gone wrong."

Derek's voice strikes just the right balance between commanding and reassuring. It always does. So he does it. He clips in the seatbelt and starts to ramble, discussing avenues they haven't explored before, suggesting why he could have been wrong. He's never doubted himself like this before, and it's an uncomfortable feeling. What's more uncomfortable is the realisation he's never failed you like this before.

They pull up to the crime scene. Derek scrambles out of the car, but he pauses for a beat. It's only when Emily opens the door, that he's pulled back into reality again.

"Spencer," She says, "Spencer, come on."

There are SUV'S everywhere. They've tried to contain the scene as much as they could but they needed the bomb squad, needed paramedics, needed FBI.

She's walking him somewhere and he's frantically searching around him, frantically trying to orient himself. It doesn't help that it's dark, gone midnight by now, and the street lights were taken out in the initial explosion. Most of the lights come from torches, or headlamps that people are wearing. It's not enough, he can barely make out Emily let alone find your face in the crowd.

And then he hears it. His name. Your voice.

You found him.

"Spencer," You call, and he can't possibly turn around fast enough.

He barely has before you come crashing into his arms, cinching them tightly around him. He practically scoops you off of the ground, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close as he can possibly get you to his body, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo and there's tears coming out of his eyes, tears of relief and fear and-

"Spencer," You tell him, sniffling, "Spencer you're kind of crushing me."

You let out a little laugh, and he lets out one too. But it's puffy, practically just air. He releases his grip a bit and you lean up, your arms looping around his neck and playing with the baby hairs situated at the nape of it.

"Spence I'm okay, I'm right here," You reassure him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "I'm right here."

You are right here. He can hear the pound of your heart, he can smell your perfume, he can feel you playing with his hair in a way that tickles but is so comforting, so domestic, so reassuring that you still love him despite his fuck up, that he couldn't bring himself to tell you to stop even if he wanted you to.

He doesn't even know he's still crying until he speaks, his voice wavering as it manoveurs past the lump in his throat, "I-Garcia tried calling you. You didn't answer your phone."

"The battery was dead," You tell him, "I plugged it in in the car and next thing I know I'm getting pulled over. I got brought straight here when I told them I was FBI and I tried to borrow somebody's phone to call but they cut off cell reception here in case there was a second bomb."

He swallows. He can't say anything else, can't do anything else. He manages to open his eyes, and you lean up, apparaising him. You thumb at the tears on his cheeks, a kind of softness and love entirely exclusive to you filling your eyes along with a couple of tears. You don't look at him like you're angry. You don't look at him like you're disappointed. You look at him with a kindness he's entirely undeserving of at this moment in time and the thought spurs two more tears out of his eyes.

"What's wrong?" You ask, your voice barely above a whisper, "Spence what's wrong?"

"It was my fault," He chokes, his head dipping a bit, too ashamed to make eye contact, "I made the profile. I was wrong. I sent you here, I-I sent you directly into danger."

"It was a copycat," You tell him, "It was a copycat, he didn't get away in time and got caught up in the blast. Our guy is smarter than that, so they think this guy tried to imitate it. It's not your fault. You couldn't possibly have known, you can't profile a person you don't know exists."

The revelation is like foam on a petrol fire. It quells the pain in his chest, the one that had maliciously licked at him, igniting all his own wounds and insecurities.

It wasn't his fault.

He holds onto you even tighter, burying his face in the crook of your neck, "Thank you. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being okay."

"I'm always okay," You tell him, your voice nothing but sincere, "I'm always okay because I always have you."

With that, the fire is out. You reluctantly wiggle out of his arms, taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. He's not okay yet. Not entirely. It all still feels surreal, and he knows it'll take a long time for his heart to settle down. But you're here. By his side. And that's enough for now.

In fact, with you? That's enough for always.

Permanent Spencer tagslist:

@ssa-m-187 @reidingmelodies @cyanide-mustard @shesalatesh

@sapphic-prentiss @geostarr @kathrynisadogperson @rem-ariiana @spoonielivingfree @starsandshit90 @spencerreidat3am @takeyourleap-of-faith @calm-and-doctor @averyhotchner @muffin-cup @purplewaterbottles082 @reidsnose @wheelsup @ellesgreenaway @sunlitspence @spencerreid9 @drspencerreidd @reiding-recs @bauemily @cmily @retrxbarnes @jhillio @txmhoelland @spenxerslut @amoeebaa @veridianluv @sad-bitch-h0ur @reidtome @converse-spence @randomfavtingswall @bethc54 @sebstan-is-the-man @justanothercrazyfangirl @eli-side-blog @vntgreid @reidmeastory @reidemandweep @ggublerss @s1lverhand @cigarette-day-dread @newtmyheart @i-understood-that-reference @willowrose99 @v-is-obsessive @awesomebooklover17 @youarethereasonimsmiling @xhopingthis-worksx @agentdilf @spencerreidsconverse @nomajdetective @brown-eyedshell @randomficsandshit @bvttercupbby @thatsonezesty13 @spookydrreid @kurtuinna @loverboyspence @jswessie187 @sammicabrera @idontwantyourcookiesthanks @sweetandsunny @reidstulips @midnightstan @stylesstreet @iamhowieson @reichelhache @screennamealreadyused @joyclubie @mrs-dr-reid @measure-in-pain @slaytherinthoughts @inlovewprentiss @citlalireedus @love-you-to-saturn @drayshadow @makailaa @idonotexiste @hercleverboy @disasterwriter @kuolonsyoja @thosecriminalminds @sun-flower-seed @singularityjc @adanae91 @uwu-queen-420 @broken-stardust

Link to join tagslist!

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #imagine spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #imagine criminal minds #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n

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qslovebot · 3 years

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Midnight Escapade: Spencer Reid

Summary: Spencer Reid and the reader have been crushing on each other since they met, but neither of them cared to admit it. When doubled up in a hotel room for the night, reader tries to convince Spencer to go with her at 12:30am to get frozen yogurt to cheer him up and it turns into much more than a snack run.

Pairing: Spencer x Fem!Reader

Warnings/Includes: Swearing, mutual pining (a long time of pining leads up to this fic), food, mention of Sept 11, 2001, self-doubt, fluff, kissing

Word Count: 4533

The case was solved, closed, and finally, your eyes could rest. The case you had just finished was particularly stressful to not only you, but your fellow BAU members as well. You all hadn't slept for nearly twenty-nine hours and Hotch decided it was best you all got the rest you deserved at a nearby hotel.

The ride there, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but Spencer Reid was on another greatly interesting rant about a show he liked, so you figured you would try to stay awake to hear it. You always listened to him because a lot of the time, the rest of the team dismissed him and his oddly accurate monologues. They grew tired of Spencer talking so much about things they didn't understand but you were rather the opposite- and that's probably because you liked Spencer so much.

The two of you met when he was introduced to the BAU. Praised for his mind, he introduced himself to you with a shaky voice and a meek handshake. You instantly admired him from his geeky personality outwards to his tall, thin self with a face sculpted by artists. Little did you know he did the same, but immediately thought of you as out of his league, so he stayed quiet.

You had been friends since then, pairing up on cases as your minds seemed to work like a perfectly oiled machine when together. Like Penelope and Derek, you two were known for the science jokes no one understood and shared looks of adoration that the both of you somehow didn't recognize as romantic. But everyone else saw it.

Derek Morgan teased a lot. He talked to Reid about working with the 'pretty girl' every day, poking him in the side and messing with his hair. The geek and the girl who was smart as hell, but didn't make it her dominant trait.

A doctor and the outgoing agent who matched the loudness of Penelope Garcia at times at karaoke night. You brought more liveliness to the BAU- more music, more spinning, more levity in dark cases. Spencer was always trying to hide a smile when you walked in, trying to pretend he hadn't been waiting for you to bring him coffee each morning. You didn't need an eidetic memory to remember his order and that, for some reason, always sent him over the moon.

But you were here now, listening to him wrap up his story as you fought the sleep that was looming over you as the car came to a stop outside the hotel.

"-And that was the end of it all. I think it's so fascinating how they wrapped everything up into this intricate timeline of interactions and moments and backtracks. We should, uh, watch it sometime." He said as he hopped out of the back, holding his small bag and yours.

You sleepily hopped out after him, hoping you didn't look like you felt, because you truly felt like hell. "Yeah, I'd like that," was all you could really mumble out. He passed you your bag and you smiled your thank you.

Emily held you up by the shoulders as Hotch sent through the check-in information. "Some case, huh?" She laughed as you rubbed your left eye. "I suppose we can't make this a girl's night of post-case celebration if you're dead asleep."

You groaned, "You wanted to do that? Damn it, Em, I'm sorry-"

"You need beauty sleep, (Y/N). I'm not mad or anything, I'll just take a bath and pull out an adult romance novel." A smirk played on her lips as she raised her eyebrows. You chuckled tiredly. "Seriously, no worries."

"Did I hear talk of a romance novel?" Derek shuffled over. "Which one are we reading? 50 Shades of Grey?"

Spencer stepped in, "Did you know that 50 Shades of Grey is actually fanfiction written about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga? If you go further back, Stephanie started Twilight as written alternate universe fanfiction where the emo-slash-hardcore band My Chemical Romance were all vampires. But My Chemical Romance was started by musician and comic book creator- who published a series of comics called The Umbrella Academy in 2008, unrelated, his name was - Gerard Way, who created the band to make music that expressed the trauma he was given from witnessing the twin towers falling on September 11th, 2001."

Emily looked at him, jaw open. "So Nine-Eleven essentially created a badly-written and toxic sex novel, years later?"

Spencer nodded, eyes flickering to you for a brief moment. Derek grinned at Emily, "So you have read 50 Shades of Grey, huh?" He teased. She swat at his wiggly fingers away as Hotch walked over, brow furrowed.

"Rooms need to be doubled up tonight. Morgan, you can come with me. As much as you may hate it, I feel like (Y/L/N) here might collapse on the spot, so we can't go anywhere else." He handed Spencer and Emily a key, expecting them to make their own choices. Of course, Emily knew exactly what she needed to do when Hotch walked off. You were about to turn and go with her, but she bolted off, reaching for JJ.

You looked up at Spencer Reid who had his mouth in a shy, straight-lipped smile. You both knew what this meant, but you were glad you'd get to crash somewhere, floor or not. The room was on the fifth floor, so you took the elevator with Spencer in silence that you were sure he was granting you until you reached the door of your room.

"I will... take the floor tonight," he said, sticking the key in the lock. "You're tired and I'm just going to get dinner and um... read."

His watch read 4:34 pm- it was so much earlier than you had thought, but you were almost collapsing. "I'm sorry," were the last words you could reply with before you walked into the room, got into the bed, and you were out, cold.

You had never had such a fulfilling sleep. You woke up feeling clean, fresh, renewed and restored. There was no groggy feeling that you had accidentally travelled to another dimension while asleep. The room was dim, except for the lamp that was on in the right corner.

When you peered over the edge of the bed, there was Spencer, laying on his stomach with few pillows under his chest and elbows, a book in his hands. He looked peaceful, quiet, calm. "Spence," you whispered. He practically jumped out of his skin and you couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my god, I'm sorry." You grinned.

He smiled sheepishly, setting down his book. "You're awake."

You nodded back, "How long was I out?"

"Since 4:34, so... 8 hours and 20 minutes. It's only 12:22am." Spencer sat up and against the wall while you adjusted yourself to sit cross-legged. You were still in your clothes from earlier and it surprised you to see Spencer in less preppy clothing.

Well, less preppy for him. No cardigan, no dress shirt, just a t-shirt that read 'math is as easy as pi' with the pi symbol made of cherry pie and his regular khaki pants. "Aren't you tired?" you asked, smiling from his shirt, back to him.

"No, uh, I actually got about four hours in the middle of your eight. I usually don't dream anymore but I actually dreamt I was falling, which is a sign of..." he stopped himself, but he was with another profiler, what was the use, you could already fill in the blanks. He continued, "Which is a sign of insecurity and inferiority, but I don't believe in dream analysis..."

You furrowed your brow, watching his eyes look down at his hands. "Are you feeling insecure and inferior, Dr.Reid, because need I remind you that 99% of the time, it's your brain that leads us to solve the cases."

He shook his head, "Thinking myself over, I'd-I'd say it doesn't revolve around work." The stutter was back. He hadn't talked to you with a stutter in months, you'd assumed it was just because he wasn't as comfortable around you then, but now it was back. Spencer Reid needed to be cheered up, something was wrong.

"Well you know you can tell me anything, right? I've kept secrets about my friends since grade one, I can keep yours." You slipped off of the bed and walked to your bag on the table in the far corner. You could feel Spencer's eyes on you as you went, so you shot him a smile over your shoulder. He reverted back to looking at his hands.

Through situations and being friends, you knew Spencer was insecure. He was bullied constantly as a child, some going as far as to strip him down and beat him. Disgusting, self-esteem-ruining acts you wished you could remove from his eidetic memory.

You took off your button-up blouse to stay in your white t-shirt that lay underneath. You hadn't the time to remove it before falling asleep. Thinking about that- you probably had bedhead too. Your balled-up shirt was shoved into your bag and you pulled out a brush in exchange, to get the knots out of your hair.

"I could really go for frozen yogurt right now," you said, running the wooden brush through your hair. Spencer narrowed his eyes at you, a little confused. "I haven't eaten dinner."

"It's nearly 12:30 am..." Spencer said. It looked like he was running through his vast mind to find a scientific explanation as to why you might have wanted frozen yogurt at half-past midnight. You let him, a teasing smile on your lips as you pulled the top bit of your hair up. "Are you pregnant?" He asked, out of the blue, entirely serious. Seemed like the only logical explanation he could find. You nearly choked on the air.

"No, Spencer, I am not pregnant!" You laughed. His face tightened as he went back to searching his mind. "I just want frozen yogurt. Regular cravings, not... pregnancy cravings. Are you coming?"

He looked at you, oddly surprised he was invited. "Why?"

"Why not?" You picked up his jacket from the hook and tossed it to him. "Nobody has to see your cheesy math shirt."

He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck, but went right back to being analytical, a mumbling rant with hand gestures.

"The average half-cup serving of frozen yogurt alone has about 17.3 grams of sugar and plus various toppings, the sugar is upped to at least 25 grams. But, versus a half-cup serving of vanilla ice cream, the sugar is only about 14 grams and with toppings can be upped to about 22. Fat-wise-"

You interrupted him because this was seemingly the only way to lift his mood and he was making excuses to stay here and wallow. "Come on, for once, let's be able to act like the youngest members of the team. Once, Spence. I don't need a play-by-play on how much sugar is in it- though I did find that interesting-I just want frozen yogurt and I would like you to come with me. I'll pay for yours if you want any, just... please?"

He met your eyes with a curl falling down his forehead and quickly looked back at his hands. You'd been friends for nearly a year and four months and he still couldn't look you in the eyes for long. He really wasn't good at refusing you at all, either.

Spencer nodded and you practically beamed. Maybe this would help to take his mind off of what was bothering him, even if the distraction was brief. You jumped on the spot and slipped on your own jacket and grabbed your wallet, ready to go and by the door.

He had a small smile when the two of you stepped out, his hands behind his back. You locked the door behind you and the two of you walked silently to the elevator, careful not to accidentally wake anyone else in case they decided to peer out into the hall.

In the elevator, you turned and looked up at Spencer who was fiddling with his hands. "You look nervous, Spence. It's frozen yogurt, not a pretty girl."

"Well I'm with-" he stopped himself again and actually started laughing his breathy laugh, squeezing his own hand so hard his knuckles turned white while his cheeks and nose went a little pink. "You..." He finished, rocking on his heels.

You scrunched your nose, shaking your head. Though you mentally disagreed with him sometimes on your appearance, you smiled and looked back up at him. "Thank you. You're pretty too."

He shrugged himself further into his jacket, hands still wildly fidgeting. "Thank you..."

You both stepped out of the elevator the moment it got to the ground floor, looking for air that wasn't filled with odd tension neither of you could explain. You two walked through the lobby and into the cool midnight air outside, where things were open, dark, and still.

You shut your eyes for a moment and opened your arms to face the gentle, cool wind that blew your hair and hit your face gently. Inhaling deeply, you opened your eyes again to Spencer in a similar state, but much less relaxed looking. Instead, it looked like he was trying to calm himself down.

"Spence, you look out of it," you said, folding your arms over your chest. You had gotten him outside, now maybe instead of distracting him from whatever it was, you could help him through it. It was part of being a friend- profiling wasn't needed to see he was thinking long and hard over something that bothered him. "You can tell me what's wrong."

He started walking down the street toward the neon lights that shone bright with the word 'fro-yo', you stepped quickly to follow. "If I like a girl.. h-how am I supposed to go about telling her?" He asked, not even looking at you. His forehead was creased and his hands in his jacket pockets.

So this was about a girl he liked. Spencer Reid had a crush. Of course, you were oblivious it was you, but Spencer Reid was romantically interested in someone!

Yay?

An odd feeling of happiness came with finding this out and there was an uprising feeling within you like the first drop on a rollercoaster, but it lingered... and it was much less happy. You ignored it, of course, letting your outer emotions display themselves.

"Dr. Spencer Reid, the human encyclopedia- have you finally found a girl that puts you at a loss for words?" You teased, pressing the back of your hand to your head for dramatic effect, struggling to keep up with him.

His mouth twitched, "Maybe."

"Well, to be honest, Spence, just... tell her. Just go at it- ask to kiss her, maybe, then confess after. Or... or, you could confess, see how she takes it, then you can see if you should or shouldn't kiss her based off of if you get rejected or not." You told him, catching him by the shoulder to get him to slow down at the entrance of the frozen yogurt place.

He was much taller than you, so that came with him being that much faster, but that didn't matter now, he had stopped. Spencer looked at you, concern in his eyes, panic. You smiled kindly, "She won't reject you. I don't know any girl who would even think of it." Reassurance, because he needed it.

His eyes trailed to the ground and he ran a hand through his hair, opening the door for you. "And w-what do I say?" Spencer asked when you both went inside. You were the only two there and the cashier must have been in the back room.

You hopped over to the flavours, "I mean, whatever feels right, Spence. If you feel like going on a long, romantic, poet-written rant about how much you like her, do that. If you're afraid to bore her, you can wait for her to speak, but the truth is if she can't listen to you rant, she probably isn't worth going for."

He evaluated your words while you casually got yourself vanilla frozen yogurt. He also scanned the flavours, probably mentally shaming the company for marketing this as somewhat healthier. You giggled watching him try to figure out how to get the yogurt out of the machine as you put raspberries in yours.

"(Y/N), uh..." he said quietly, gesturing you over. The genius's mind was scrambled enough to miss the lever in front of him. You took his cup from him and pulled the lever, to which he made an 'o' shape with his mouth and nodded comprehensively.

"Chocolate mocha," you smiled, handing it to him as he stood there sheepishly again. "Good choice."

You spun back to your yogurt, adding a bit of honey over the top of it all. He followed, choosing raspberries as well, silently adding them. He still didn't seem at rest with the girl thing, you noticed by the way he was failing to open the scoop-box of cookie crumbs. He had long fingers, usually nimble ones, but not so much right now. Spencer was too stressed to work properly. Error in the system, you may have joked if things weren't so bad with him.

When you were both finished, Spencer tapped the little service bell on the desk and a little woman, maybe mid-30s came out wearing the merchandise of the shop. You both placed your cups on the scale and she weighed them for the price, but both you and Spencer pulled out your wallets.

He put his card out faster, so you swat his hand with your card and paid while he mumbled "Ow..." Of course, you checked to see if he was really hurt, but he had his small, crooked smile back on his face. He was okay, maybe he was feeling better?

Saying good morning/night to the lady, you both stepped back into the midnight air, starting to walk, but not back toward the hotel. You'd think with what cases you two had worked on you'd be a little warier, but with each other, you both felt safe. You walked a few steps, eating your yogurt, before Spencer spoke up again. "Is it a bad thing I'm so clueless as to what women like? Everything I know about women is scientific. Chocolate releases endorphins, flowers are associated with beauty and love, but... other than that... I don't know anything."

You swallowed your bite as Reid took his, waiting on your answer. Just as you always listened to him, he always listened to you. He probably valued your opinion over Derek's at times. You waved your spoon in the air when you spoke, "I wouldn't say bad. Everyone starts somewhere for everything. If anything, a man who is willing to learn is more attractive than one who wings it and doesn't ask comprehensive questions to up the relationship quality."

"Asking questions, got it. Should my confession include a gesture, though?" He spoke with his mouth full. Spencer really wanted to get this right- it was admirable. But there came that uneasy feeling again. It was more like an ache this time. Perhaps it was the awkward hours of sleep throwing you off?

You sucked it up, shoved the feeling down. "Really, Spence, it depends on the woman. Do I know her? Maybe I can help- that is unless you want to profile her to get her interests? I can help with that too-"

"No, I-I don't want to profile her, I want to stay away from that, we do that on a near-daily basis."

"We?" You questioned. Reid froze, but kept walking, looking a little petrified. He put more frozen yogurt in his mouth, maybe to shut himself up. You grinned, "We as in you and her are both profilers or we as in you and I profile others together, so you don't want to profile her with me?"

"I don't want us... to profile her," he cleared his throat. "Yeah..."

You sighed with a breathy laugh, "Good, because I was starting to think you were after Emily."

He chuckled, "Oh, no, not Emily. She's too scary for me anyway. Uh..." He swallowed hard, the way he always did was he was anxious or nervous. I saw in his face he'd come to some sort of conclusion. "Don't... don't yell at me for this, alright?"

"Yell at you? Spence, I wouldn't..." You were confused. He set his frozen yogurt down on the bench he had stopped in front of and stood back in front of you, pushing his hair behind his ears. He looked at you with his doe eyes and the wind blew his curls back in front of his face, he looked to the ground. His forehead still creased between his brows, but his eyes were soft and sweet, his nose was slightly scrunched and his mouth was twisted to the side as if he was once again mentally calculating something. You granted him back the silence from earlier, wondering what was going on in that mind of his. That was... until his eyes met yours and he looked so desperately lost and longing and like he ached inside... and you no longer wondered.

You let out another long sigh. She was you.

This girl that he was trying to understand how to win over, she was you. He asked you because he needed to know what you wanted. He was nervous because he was practically confessing to you and you, a profiler, were too blind to see that.

He watched your face for your reaction, waiting for something good, but you were too shocked to react right. He unfroze, hands flying to the roots of his hair and he spun away from you. He started rambling, obviously thinking everything had gone wrong. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, (Y/N). That- that wasn't how I had things planned and I was so certain that maybe you-hm- liked me too."

His words made it true. This was, in fact, happening at 12:56am in the middle of a foreign city. Your words spilled out, stern, focused, serious. "Kiss me then."

He spun around again, "What?"

"Confess, then kiss, remember?" You recounted carefully, looking directly at him, stepping closer.

"But I didn't get to do my whole monologue thing-" He was grinning pretty hard now, all signs of stress removed from his face. He looked brighter than the neon froyo sign, in happiness and disbelief right down at you. You were pretty sure you looked similar as all the pieces fell in place in your mind. It all fit.

"I don't care." You beamed back. "Do it after."

So without wasting another second, he grabbed your face and kissed you. He kissed you with a year and four months' worth of frustration, lust, confusion and past jealousies. His hands holding your jaw, his fingertips in your hair and your hands on his chest, holding fast to jacket. The kiss was a little messy the first two seconds, but every second after it was enjoyable and sweet and oddly powerful. He also tasted rich, like chocolate mocha, but you knew where that came from.

He pulled away first, which surprised you, but he didn't move very far, in fact, he mumbled against your lips as he tucked your hair out of your face. "I think I've liked you since you and I first met. You didn't hate my science jokes and instead of being annoyed with my informational rants, you listened to me. I wasn't expecting you to be so involved with me since you're, well... you're you and you're loud and fun and sweet and beautiful, but we worked so well together how could I ignore what I felt?"

His hand was a little shaky still, but his fingertips on your cheek were gentle. He continued to quietly ramble, "I decided maybe I'd do something with myself that wasn't devoted to the BAU so I thought maybe I'd- I'd tell you this. That I think you're beautiful and smart and talented and maybe you'd understand and feel the same way and now that I know maybe you do, I feel oddly put back to how I'm supposed to be. And... I think I'm supposed to be with you. If this is too soon or... ruins our friendship, I'm sorry and I'll slow it down, but I won't stop liking you."

You couldn't believe that in a three-minute span you had gone from painfully oblivious to so extremely wide awake. But it was in the best way possible after a year and four months of you also being painfully crushed by your secret feelings for Dr.Reid.

"It's fine, Spence," you said quietly, smiling at him with the most happiness you had found in months. "More than fine, I can't believe this is real."

He tucked the other side of your hair behind your ear, "You might have DRC, then. It stands for dream-reality confusion and is a difficulty or inability to determine whether an event or experience occurred during the waking state or whether it was part of a dream. I can assure you that you aren't dreami-"

You reached up and pulled him onto your lips by the back of the neck, smiling into it. This would be the first time you've ever shut him up. He welcomed it by kissing you back again, softer this time. Now that he was sure you wouldn't hate him for it, it felt a lot more natural, a lot more at ease. His passion was still there, as was yours, but this was how things were supposed to be. There was no longer a rush.

The two of you started laughing after it all. Both of you laughed at how painfully oblivious you both were and he went on a small explanation as to why we don't see our own tells and how feelings of romantic relation cloud the judgement. You went over every time the rest of the team had made a comment you both secretly loved or some you dismissed because it was an ache to hear.

Spencer opened up about his fear of rejection and you did the same and that too resulted in more laughing because here you were, so afraid, but you had both been in it for so long. You deserved to have each other after all this time not only because you fit, but because everyone saw it too, far before either of you did.

An innocent, fun, midnight escapade to cheer Spencer up turned into him finding a truly happy state of mind. You took that as a win and success as you tossed frozen yogurt containers in the garbage and found your way back to your room where you told Spencer it was okay to sleep in the bed as long as he was nice.

So he let you turn out the lights and lay next to him, your head on his chest in the way you had done before when it was only an achingly platonic move. He played with your hair, stared at the green walls, ranted about the history of the colour green and soon after, the both of you went right back to sleep, entirely happy.

Tagged: @ellyhotchner @softhairedhotch

#spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminalminds #emily prentiss #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #spencer x y/n #cm #aaron hotchner #mutual pining #romance #spencer reid fandom

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katsucutie · 4 years

Text

i hate your guts (m)

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader genre: smut, humor warnings: smut, swearing (you know the good stuff) overview: class 1-a has this belief that you and katsuki hate each other, though one incident has their minds changed word count: 4.2k author’s note: this was written to fight my writer’s block and i happened to find a psycho-analysis of katsuki which helped somewhat and its quite interesting. anyways...the song choice while writing this was house of cards, also this was written in three days and i tried using any relevant medical terms i’ve learned so far in uni. hope you enjoy!! masterlist | ko-fi

Walking through the azure-rimmed gate you knew the day would be the same. Homeroom for ten minutes then classes back to back with a minor minute break in between, next an oh-so-needed fifty-minute lunch, and finally two classes to end the day. Not that you could complain, heroes in training must earn some type of education.

Though school wasn’t the worst thing invented, you can definitely say occasions in English class were not lackluster with Present Mic as the teacher. Or in math, when Midoriya yells out an inaccurate answer only to be corrected by Yaoyorozu. It's the little moments that bring laughter, or maybe it’s watching someone embarrass themselves in front of a class that's joyful.

And you could never forget the times where Jirou teased Kaminari for short-circuiting.

While all those moments are fun and dandy, 1-A can also be quite the chatterboxes and gossipy, especially when it comes to your feelings towards Bakugou. Believing that your relationship consists of mutual hatred, class 1-A constantly manages to tease both you and the blonde-headed male. Even All-Might manages to separate the two of you during training.

Although you never said anything against the rumors, it's quite humorous to see a school be so wrong in their thoughts. Is it not obvious that the glares the two of you send are not out of anger but endearment? Clearly not to Todoroki who claimed that Midoriya was All-Might’s secret love child, but that's beside the point. Additionally, you’ve yet to hear an accurate hypothesis as to why you and Bakugou would hate each other. Many of the theories revolve around Bakugou’s ‘anger problems’ but honestly, who doesn’t get mad?

Nonetheless, the rumors surrounding your alleged detestation toward the blonde sparked a little prank between you two. Pretending to hate each other until people catch on that you’re dating.

And the joke has been going on for quite a while, four months to be exact. Four months of pretending to hate in front of crowds, yet loving behind closed doors. Four months of experiencing the rush of adrenaline when you sneak around to his dorm room in the late hours of the night. Four months of leaving your friend groups to hang out during lunch.

Four months of waking up early to walk to class with Bakugou. And don’t forget about four months of the blonde-headed male constantly breaking you away from your thoughts.

“Oi Y/n, break out of that daze and let’s go, we have thirty-minutes before class and I’d like to spend that time not pretending to hate you” Bakugou calls while molding his fingers into yours.

“Oh please, I’m not pretending you know I hate your guts” You smile, leaning into the broad male walking towards homeroom. “Do you think today will be the same?”

“Yes, those idiots could watch us kiss and still think we hate each other, though I can’t complain, their oblivion is better than if they were to pester us about our relationship” he snarks.

Mindlessly nodding in agreement, you and Bakugou wander through the purple-stained floors of U.A., passing by random classrooms, and peering out the glass windows that overlook the campus.

After twenty-five minutes of strolling through the halls, Bakugou and you turn down the corridor leading to class 1-A, while unlocking hands and prepping for your fake and falsely-interpreted loathing glares.

“Today marks day ninety-six of the class believing we hate each other” you whisper.

“They’re hopeless….”

“But if at any point, you want to stop pretending let me know… I wouldn’t mind, jokes are funny but you’re my top priority”

“Is Bakugou Katsuki getting soft on me?”

“No.. shut up-”

“And they're back at it again Ladies and Gentlemen… the feud between Y/n and Bakugou seems everlasting” Kaminari calls sliding open the tall door leading to class 1-A. Way to ruin a cute moment.

“Honestly the two would probably be best friends if they didn’t hate each other, they both like the same things” Oh they wouldn’t believe the interests you two share.

“Yeah, but their personalities are so different, they’re just not meant to be and that’s fine” What a shock your relationship would be then.

“I’m so glad that you’re interested in my ‘relationship’ with Lord Explosion Murder… but I have more important matters to attend to such as earning my education so that I can be a top pro-hero” you remark sliding into your chair. Your comments are never intended to insult your boyfriend, but teasing his choice of a hero name couldn’t hurt anyone.

Waiting for the remaining two minutes for class to start, you check your phone and see a message notification from a familiar contact.

Babe 💗: storage room during lunch?

Quicker than your mind made a decision, your fingers don’t hesitate to press the send button.

You: i’ll bring the key

----------

Bakugou was a master of three things. Okay maybe more than three, but three traits excel. His talent, his mind, and his ability to use his fingers.

Bakugou’s talent is tremendous and has been able to advance his goals of becoming a pro-hero. He acknowledges that he was born with such an extraordinary quirk, and has a flair for using it. Notwithstanding the male’s breakdown and internal belief that he is inferior to his pre-quirkless childhood friend, Bakugou unceasingly exerts himself to be more than a student with talent.

His mind is magnificent and allowed Bakugou to comprehend multiple topics of interest. Placing third in the class’ midterm exam, it’s evident that he shines in academic settings. And though few peers in 1-A state that Bakugou fails in the social aspect, you claim the opposite. In their eyes Bakugou is brash, however, after spending time with the boy, you have viewed him as self-reflecting, with social skills that others cannot see.

While brains and talent may all be magnificent qualities of the blonde, nothing beats Bakugou’s ability to use his fingers. Combined with both his talent and his mind, Bakugou has the ability to make both inanimate and living things explode. And that isn’t related to his quirk.

“You’re imagining events that haven’t occurred yet. Am I truly that talented?”

Flushed and blinking in a shocked manner towards the male in front of you, you ask him if his quirk was mind-reading.

“Hmmm… No, but after seeing you so embarrassed I’d love to have such a quirk so that I’d be able to view the thoughts inside that mind of yours, but I was gifted with explosions... You, on the other hand, were blessed with the ability to swap items on your command. A quirk so useful, especially in times like these when I don’t have a key to the storage room”

“Oh please, just admit that you use me to gain entrance into forbidden rooms” You tease, giving Bakugou the janitor’s key to unlock the storage room.

The male chuckles unlocking the door to the storage closet, “Maybe a bit, though you reap the benefits of getting it” Change of thought, maybe he is brash.

Shutting the door behind you two, you finally express your raw emotions towards your boyfriend, engulfing him in a hug.

“I missed you”

“You came over my dorm last night” What an ass, couldn’t he just accept your affection?

“Yeah, but you go to sleep at like eight-thirty, which means I have to leave you dorm before then, and then I’m stuck in my dorm with nobody to talk to until I go to sleep at midnight, that’s about three and a half hours being alone”

“You’re so clingy… it's cute”

“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel less lonely since I go to sleep at like eight-thirty and leave you alone’”

Bashfully looking down at the floor rather than your boyfriend, you mumble your request.

Releasing the hug, Bakugou smirks, poking fun at your diffidence, “With that ask, I don't think you can be shy… Are you sure that's what you truly want?”

Nodding your head you look up to the red-eyed male, taking in his dilated pupils. It's always been him that you’ve desired.

Accepting your form of consent, Bakugou kisses you, enveloping your figure while you sneak your hands around his neck to deepen the embrace. And although the two of you are in a storage closet skipping out on lunch, the feeling of epinephrine dispersing within your bloodstream, inducing fast heart rates, is blissful. A salacious rendezvous with the man you’ve come to love could never hurt anyone… as long as they didn't find out.

And if one were to catch you two, would they truly stop two aroused students halfway from committing adultery? Would a teacher not be embarrassed if he/she watched as Bakugou hurriedly zips down your green skirt in order to slide his fingers inside of your warmth? Or would someone scamper along hearing the lewd mewls arising from your throat?

“You’re so loud Princess, we have to keep it down or else someone will hear us, okay?”

Yet the person to blame for such noises was Bakugou himself. One could imagine the boy having rough, unmoisturized hands from his explosive quirk, but his inheritance of glycerin allows him to easily travel in and out of you.

“You’re close aren’t you? I can tell. Your walls are contracting at a faster rate and tightening each time I pump my fingers into you. It's really hot too, especially knowing that the world believes you hate my guts when behind the scenes, I rearrange yours”.

Words cannot describe the pleasure Bakugou exposes you to. A thumb pressed against your clitoris, his middle and ring finger dug past your labia, and you’re unraveling beneath him. He has you under his full control. And how Bakugou feels will determine your release. An untroubled Bakugou can earn you multiple chances of release, whereas the current Bakugou you’re experiencing will rip your attempt at euphoria, despite you being almost there.

“Katsuki please, I was right there… I’m so close you even said it yourself” You plead, wanting to reach a climax.

“I don’t know… strenuous activities make me tired and I wouldn’t want to upset you with the hour I may fall asleep” Bakugou smirks while tasting his digits, “You taste like caramelized sugar, I wonder where that came about?”

“Suki please, don’t leave me like this”

“It’ll only be for a little while babe, but lunch is almost over, we have to go back to class. I’ll help you out at my dorm alright?”

What more could you do but nod, put back on your skirt, and pretend to hate Bakugou once more in public?

----------

The walk back to class was internally embarrassing. Arousal saturated your underwear, heat filling up between your legs and left you with a foggy mind. You couldn’t imagine pretending to hate Bakugou now when all you could think about was Bakugou hovering above you in his dorm room, aggressively ramming into your hole as you pleaded for mercy. But you’re in school containing students who are not Bakugou to distract you from your misery.

“Y/n pay attention to me, and why do you smell like caramel?” Well shit, is the cat out of the bag?

Looking up at the voice calling, you smile faintly in means of apologizing and mutter an incoherent response to Mina’s question.

“Sorry, and thanks I guess... It might be from the sweets I had during lunch”

“I see, well since you like sugary foods we should go to the bakery today after school, I’m sure the others would like to come too” The pinky bounces brightly.

“I can’t today, sorry! I’m super behind on work and barely understand what's going on in class, let’s go this weekend when I’m free?” What a Lie.

Fortunately, the promise of a raincheck is enough for Mina to back off from the situation and accept your rejection. Today would have been a perfect day to go out with friends, yet the blonde-headed boyfriend of yours decided to be unfair, leaving you to crave his affection. Though, the school day would be over soon enough with only two periods following lunch. And only then would you be able to gain some type of relief.

As if that ideology would be so simple.

Bakugou Katsuki is a man full of pride --rightfully achieved, of course, meaning he knew how and when to push your buttons. Right now being one of those times.

Despite wanting to pay attention in your world language class, Bakugou made it very difficult to do so. Especially knowing that he is the cause of your phone silently vibrating every three minutes in your pocket. He doesn't want you to forget he is the cause of your erotic thoughts. Rather, he’ll keep reminding you that he is controlling your excitement.

However, from the glance across the room, Bakugou didn’t look like the lead in this relationship. His eyes were majorly dilated, with his red iris visually smaller in circumference. Additionally, a prominent cherry hue spread across his cheeks, that one may call flustered from afar. Although, only the two of you understood each other’s physical response towards seduction.

Babe 💗: you look dazed

Babe 💗 : I don’t think that’s the best for someone who wants to become a hero, don't you think?

Babe 💗: this class is so important

Babe 💗: …

Babe 💗 : don’t look at me

Babe 💗: i'm not the teacher

Babe 💗: your so cute trying to ignore these texts

Oh how badly you wanted school to be over

-------------

As the clock hit 2:45 PM, you watch everyone around you hurrying to leave the school and have freedom. And once five minutes go past, 1-A is a semi-empty classroom with two students remaining. Two hormonal, amorous, epinephrine-surged students patiently waiting for their peers to leave the school grounds, so that they can walk to the dorms together in peace.

Whilst hand-holding may be a shock to onlookers, if they had the capability to read your mind, myocardial infarction would sure to follow. Outstandingly too, if they did not foreshadow the events of you walking within the fourth floor of heights alliance and entering the second room from your left.

“Your room is so homey” You comment. Despite visiting the blonde’s dorm room on multiple occasions, the comforting aura never ceases to relax you.

“I would hope so, I don’t want to be reminded that we’ve been moved from our homes to our school campus in fear of malicious attacks against students”

“Thanks for that… truly an amazing choice of words” You sarcastically remark. Not everyone needs a reminder of the traumatic incidents students of U.A. have been through, especially when it's clear that students of 1-A (and others) have not received enough therapeutic aid to cope with the events suffered.

One would think that Bakugou of all students would be most affected by trauma, starting from falling victim to the Sludge Villain incident, to being kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains, though he shows the opposite effects. While you cannot see inside the mind of Bakugou and tell if he is extremely traumatized by the incidents and is repressing his memories as a form of coping, you can see what he is physically doing. And at this current moment, you cannot see someone disturbed by his past, but impassioned with the ideas of what is to come.

Tossing your backpack to a discarded corner of Bakugou’s dorm, you throw yourself onto his bed, relishing in the comfort of his bedsheets. You’ve always loved his bed, your favorite moments with him have occurred there. Random naps while cuddling on Saturday afternoon, binge-watching cult-classics after a big exam, or simply having Bakugou’s powerfully built arms wrapped around you like they are now is unforgettable.

“I don’t understand how you’re so built? We go to the same school, attend the same classes and both do athletic training. I mean I’m not complaining because you definitely look good, but it's interesting how my figure compares to yours”

“That's like me asking why you’re so attractive, it's just luck within life, plus I like your figure, it blends perfectly with mine”. A man with such words can only follow with actions that prove it, and the blonde was sure to do so.

Except for when his phone goes off multiple times.

“I think you should check your texts, it may be important”

Halfway sliding off of your body, Bakugou pulls his phone out of his pockets to read his text messages. “It's nothing important, Kirishima just wanted me to join him and the others to go to some bakery since you didn't want to go”

“Oh okay-” Again you were cut off by the sound of his phone going off, however this time, the alert was a long-lasting ring, signaling that Bakugou was receiving a call.

“He’s so persistent, why would I want to go to a bakery when the best dessert is in front of me”

Lightly throwing his phone on the floor of his dorm, Bakugou discards any form of human interaction outside of the bed, focusing his attention on the one he loves.

“You know I really fucking love and care for you?” You do. You fully understand his love for you, from the way his iris shrinks to the rosy pigments formulating on his cheeks when looking at you. And you’ve never once questioned his devoutness towards expressing his adoration for you.

In moments like these, where Bakugou gently strips clothing from your body admiring every crevice, you know the two of you are in love. The boy may come off as an entitled brat, but when push comes to shove, he will bend over backwards trying to make you feel happy.

“You’re so mushy when you're in the feels”

“Oh forgive me for wanting to praise my girlfriend”

“I’m joking, but it is nice to know the feeling is reciprocated”

His silence you took as acknowledgment. ‘I love you too’ was a phrase you didn’t say often, it sounds too forced. Being obligated to say a phrase in return is meaningless when both parties understand each other’s feelings. And it's even more worthless when the actions committed speak louder than words. Bakugou does not need to hear you say ‘I love you’ constantly when he knows you dragging the zipper down of his pants and springing free his cock from the restraints of his underwear means the same thing.

And when you free yourself from the fondling of your boyfriend to meet your lips with the tip of his enraged dick, Bakugou has fallen prey to submission. Having yet to insert the body part into your mouth, you take notice of the male in front of you. Cheeks flushes, head lolled back, visible veins peeking from his sand-colored skin, and light pants as a result of excitement. Hot.

One kiss to his head and you feel a little twitch. He wouldn’t last long. Understanding that thought you decide to mess with the male, putting half of his length within your mouth and pumping the other half. It was a shame he toyed with you earlier, now he’d face the repercussions. Light squelches filled the quiet air, and Bakugou’s groans got increasingly vocal overtime. The combination forming a sexual melody awaiting to be abruptly paused.

Releasing your lips from the now wet surface of the blonde’s dick, you hear the annoyed groan of the male. “Why’d you stop?”

“I’m sorry were you close?”

“Obviously, but that doesn’t answer my question”

“It’s just that strenuous activities make me tired Suki, and I wouldn’t to make you upset if I accidentally fell asleep”

Tch. The little sound of irritation fell from Bakugou’s mouth, only signaled one thing, rough sex.

“How I’ve come to date such a slutty brat is beyond me. Getting back at me isn’t going to help you in this situation. All you’ll receive is a punishment, though knowing you, you’ll probably enjoy it”

Although enticed by the proposition, you failed to speak out after being muffled by your boyfriend. Your own skirt which the male had managed to take off earlier now laid scrunched up in your mouth. In addition to that, your arms were now constricted by a gold-rimmed belt.

And while whining in complaint about the new restrictions placed on you, Bakugou alters your kneeling position into one laying beneath him. The primal glare he sends you would signal fear to others, however, you know that the fun is only about to begin.

Widening your legs apart Bakugou spares no time plunging two fingers into you, stretching the pair apart. Despite being unable to speak, your moans are heard loud enough by your boyfriend to increase his speed. Every sound encouraging the male to continue to berate your walls.

Thinking that the punishment you’ll receive is overstimulation by being one step away from ecstasy, you’re disturbed by the sudden absence of feeling in your core.

“I didn’t say you could come”

Twice today he’d done that. One denial was not enough for him, and that’s when you identified your mistake. Bakugou had the power to reject your advances to climax however many times he’d like. Maybe being a brat today wasn’t the best idea.

Granted that Bakugou could undeniably be the most ruthless person when it comes to sex, today marked the first time he’d ever advanced into you without warning. The thrusts he implemented assaulting your hole. Even so, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“My god Y/n, you’re so tight, so perfectly made to take my dick”

“You make it so easy for me to unravel within the warmth of your pussy”

“Fuck I’m so close baby, I’m sure you are too”

He wasn’t wrong. The magnitude of the thrusts presented plus the physical restraints and multiple orgasm denials has sped up your ability to reach a climax. You were a mess underneath the man, hoping that soon he would grant you the gift of release. And by the looks of it, Bakugou would provide you with it soon. His cock inconsistently twitching in your warmth, notifying both you and him that he would come soon.

So when the removal of your gag began, you were not surprised. He was close and needed the extra aid of your uncovered moans to aid him to let go. Bare lewd noises ricocheted from the walls of Bakugou’s dorm, and you became thankful that Kirishima went to a bakery rather than located next door. Though had he been, he would have been overhearing an occasion so pornographic, one would think you’re in the business.

They wouldn’t be fully wrong either. Whilst uploading an adult video while training to be pro-heroes sounds absurd, Bakugou has no problem taping to two of you in the act. It may be the idea of possibly getting the video leaked or a similar exhibitionist-like kink, but the blonde constantly acts to videotape during sex.

“This would be perfect on video. The noises you make before you come are so fucking hot I’d replay them until the end of time”

Yet Bakugou is gravely mistaken. Yes, the noises you exhale are angelic, but compared to the rugged groan he calls while releasing his load in you is divine, and never fails in making you follow suit. So when you recognize that tone in addition to the feeling of warmth coating the inside of your walls, you have no choice but to mirror his actions.

“You’re so perfect” He states, slipping himself from your cunt and delivering pecks to your lips while he unbuckles his belt from your wrists. Post-sex always has Bakugou sappy, but how could you complain.

Wrapping your freed arms around his neck, you pull the male closer to your embrace while nuzzling your nose into his neck. You felt the rapid pace of his heartbeat begin to slow down.

“Are you guys done, because I still haven’t received a response from Bakugou about if he wanted to go to the bakery or not?” What the fuck.

“Did you not press decline when answering Kirishima’s phone?”

“I thought I did…”

“Is that a no or?”

“Of course it's a fucking no, and don’t tell anyone else what you heard. Why were you even listen-” He hung up.

“You think we can go another day pretending to hate each other?”

“Nope… he definitely told the entire class”

“That's a shame, it was fun having them think I hate your guts”

“Awe how tragic… now get up so we can clean you off, heroes in training don't get UTIs”

How sweet.

----------

The trek to school the next day seemed no different than the past. You woke up early to walk to class with Bakugou and strolled the corridors. Only this time while sauntering into homeroom, nobody greeted the couple at the door, rather class 1-A smiled awkwardly as you held hands walking to your seats. Although you wouldn’t have known the reason for the tension in the classroom had Kaminari not jokingly mumble to Sero that he would’ve never expected the blonde to be an exhibitionist.

“Hm, if I recall correctly, I said not to tell anyone”

“I’m sorry my phone was on speaker when I called you” Great.

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yourneighborbakugou · 3 years

Text

A Weeks Adventure (Part 2)

Pairing: Bakugou Katuski x Reader Warnings: mentions of smut Read Part One Word Count: ~4k A/N: Happy Birthday to our gremlin Bakugou! There’s so much birthday content out right now for Bakugou I can’t wait to read them all! I hope you all enjoy this because lowkey, sis stayed up super late to finish it and my eyes this morning felt like they were going to explode. It’s not perfect but I hope you like it. Thanks for reading 😊

“I will beat you, Bakugou Katsuki.” You take your napkin and tuck it in your shirt and stare into the soul of your husband’s eyes.

“And I will enjoy every second of it.” Your eyes darken as the competitor in you takes over.

“I’d like to see you try.” Bakugou tucks his napkin into his shirt as well, ready for the challenge.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” A lady speaks through the intercom. “The competition for the most bowls of spicy tonkotsu ramen eaten in 5 minutes, begins….NOW!”

5 minutes later, the whistle is blown and all competitors raise their hands. You gulp down the soup you’ve held in your cheeks and count your bowels--6. Six bowls, you think you’ve done a good job considering others next to you barely had 5. Turning to Bakugou your eyes widened as you recounted his bowls for a 3rd time--10 bowls!!

Bakugou wipes his lips and if you could swipe the shit eating grin he had right now you would in a heartbeat. So how did you both end up here at an eating competition? Let’s rewind 5 days.

Sunday

The sun rises on Sunday morning brighter than Bakugou remembers. Today was the first day of his week off. Snuggled next to him laid your figure, enclosed inside his arms. He takes a moment to snuggle his nose on your head before pulling you closer to him, as if you weren’t already close enough.

“‘Suki, what are you doing?” You chuckle as you felt his hold tighten.

“Should I stop?” He placed a kiss behind your ear.

“Stay. 5 more minutes yeah?” You asked teasingly though you knew what the answer would be.

“How about the whole week?”

You immediately open your eyes, turn to him in disbelief.

“That’s not cool, Bakugou Katuski.” You pout which only makes him laugh. He knew you meant serious business when you called him by his full name.

“Should I call Ei that I’m heading in then?” He perks a brow your way, challenging you to fight him if you felt he was lying.

You both lay in silence for a few seconds as the fact that he had the whole week off sets in. Bakugou knew you were happy when your lips began to slowly curve before a full blown smile emerged. You threw your arms over him in excitement and snuggled your face on his neck.

You wasted no time having your husband all to yourself the entire week. Today you chose to relax at home to binge watch your favorite show and plan activities for the week. Midway through the opening, your mind starts to wander. What exactly would you both do? You had only planned for 2 days of activities.

“Earth to Y/N.” Bakugou flicks your forehead. “You missed half the show, woman. I thought you wanted to watch this?”

You apologize and explain your worries to him. Having him for the entire week, though you’re super happy about it, it feels wrong since you weren’t sure what you both would do with the extra time off.

“You worry too much.” Is all he says before getting up to cook lunch for you both. You sit across the counter creating a list, mumbling like Deku would with his hero analysis, debating about things you both can do. You’ve looked at numerous websites online to get ideas but only a few ideas have really stood out.

Bakugou brings a plate of food over to you and takes a peak at what you’re doing--a fresh piece of paper with a list and a crumbled old note that looks like ideas you had for the 2 days you originally planned for.

You stop writing to take a bite from your husband’s deliciously home cooked meal and Bakugou takes this opportunity to snatch your list to read. Reading down the list, he immediately read the last bullet again to make sure he read it right.

Visit a temple? -- Absolutely

Hiking - No, you do this regularly and you don’t want to be sore

Gym - Absolutely not.

Beach -- A must

Skydiving -- Why pay for this when your husband can do this for free

Food adventure -- Yes!

Picnic -- yes yes yes!

Watch a movie -- plan Z if all else fails

Make babies

You’ve been happily married for 3 years and the talk of having children comes from time to time. You both agreed that until you’re both ready, the other won’t push for it.

He slowly moves the paper away from his face and you ready yourself with a big smile. This was one of the many surprises you had for him. You were ready to be the mother to his children.

Seeing your expression he understood. His heart exploded at your confession and for a second, you swore you saw tears form in his beautiful red eyes, eyes you can’t wait for your children to have.

“That’s not cool, Bakugou Y/N.” He teased with your famous line earlier that morning.

Monday

Locking the front door to your home, you excitedly walk over to your car where Bakugou was already in the front seat, ready to go. Opening the passenger door, you take a seat and the smile you carried from the front door to your car doesn’t cease.

“Ready?” He placed his hand on your thigh.

“Ready.” You hold his hand in yours and the excitement for the next few days of what you both planned was now in motion.

First stop? Visiting a temple for offerings and prayers.

The temple wasn’t crowded, thankfully. You drag Bakugou along, buying food from the stalls nearby for breakfast--everything from sweet to savory. You take a bit into your fresh taiyaki and hum in approval. Bakugou steals a bite from your taiyaki before nodding in agreement and walking away.

“Hey, you thief!” You trail behind him laughing.

With a full stomach, you head to the temizuya (water pavilion) for cleansing. Together, you both gently toss a coin into the saisen-bako (offertory box) before making your way to the bell on the haiden to make your prayer. You bow twice to greet the kami-sama (deities), then clap twice to show appreciation, and end with a silent prayer. On cue, you both do your last departing bow.

The air after prayer always gets you. It was a strange, calm feeling. What did you pray for? You both thought. Bakugou wears a faint smile as he holds your hand firmly in his. Hand in hand, you descend the temple.

With the sun setting in the distance, and the drive to your destination being a few hours away, you let yourself slowly drift to sleep.

Tuesday - Birthday Boy

Today was the big day -- Bakugou’s birthday. Day 1 of your 2 day plan for your husband--watch the sunrise, picnic, make babies.

Your face warms at the thought of the last activity. Stepping out of the bathroom, you watch Bakugou lay in bed shirtless. Yeah, you were so ready for the last activity.

Bakugou stirs awake when a familiar figure lowers onto him. His instinctively holds you by your hips and gives you a gentle squeeze. You pepper his face with kisses which cause him to smile.

“You’re up early.” He speaks in his morning voice--deep and so, so hot.

“We have to leave soon before we miss the sunrise.” You give him one last kiss on his cheek.

Bakugou opens an eye to look up at your figure. You’re already all dressed and ready to go. With the warm weather this week, even the early morning couldn’t escape the heat. It’s not a surprise to him that you opted for a tank and shorts.

When you feel the tint in his boxers you know exactly what he was thinking.

“Suki, no.” You protest, ready to get off him but his firm grip on you doesn’t allow you to.

“Birthday boy calls the shots.” In an instant, he has you flipped and on your back. “And I say the sunrise I want to see is right here.”

He’s fingers dance on your waist, kissing you by your ear, making his way back to your lips. Your resolve crumbles as he takes the lead. With your consent, he helps you out of your clothes and the desire in him fuels him to love every inch of your body. Bakugou made sweet love to you as the sun rose in the distance.

~~~~

“What a beautiful day, don’t you think?” You raise your arms, soaking in the sun. You pack the baskets and blankets into the trunk of the car in a hurry.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” Bakugou walks out towards you putting in his orange tee.

You’re too busy admiring your husband to let the annoyance in his tone bother you.

“If you keep looking at me like that we might not go anywhere today, sweetheart. Unless…” Bakugou lowers himself to you and stops a breath away.

You want to protest so bad but god, he looked so good and when you really think about how lucky you are to be his wife you can’t help but feel so much pride. You had the Bakugou Katsuki, aka Pro Hero Dynamight.

You were his Bakugou Y/N.

You knew he was teasing by stopping a mere breath away. Getting another kiss wouldn’t be so bad. You leaned in fast to steal a kiss. But not fast enough. Bakugou anticipated your steal.

“Didn’t you say we were going to be late?” He leans back and walks past you.

You’re left feeling embarrassed that he caught on. Even after all these years, you still get butterflies like the first day you met.

The drive to the cliff you wanted to have a picnic at was not far. Better yet, you both had the place to yourselves.

“Wear these.” You hand your husband a black silk eye mask who was leaning on the driver side door.

“It’ll only be for a minute, I promise.” You add, feeling the protest in his eyes.

“Fine.” He says before he pulls the mask over his eyes and you get to work.

Bakugou is focused on your movements since it’s the only thing ensuring him that you were okay. He hears your footsteps go to the trunk before hearing the trunk open. The car gently shakes as you remove something you’ve packed in the morning.

Last night, he woke up sometime after midnight when he heard noises coming from the kitchen. Leaning against the bedroom door, he did his best to hide in the shadow of the darkness as he watched you prepare for today.

All his life he’s always wondered if he was worthy of anyone’s love. He was grumpy, loud and brash and you were anything but that. He’s never wished time would stop until he met you--your gorgeous E/C eyes that twinkles in the light, beautiful smile that made his heart beat faster, and when you call him by his name he swears he can’t breath.

Watching you from afar prepare what seems to be lunch, he’s reminded how special you are to him. Bakugou retreats from the door and back to bed to let you finish the surprise he knows you worked so hard to prepare.

It’s been a few minutes since he’s heard you return to the car. He calls out to you but hears nothing.

“Y/N!” He calls one more time. He doesn’t let another second pass after you don’t respond. Removing the mask and looking around, his eyes adjust to the blinding light.

When the blinding light begins to color the world around him, the first thing he spots in the distance is you. You’re standing in front of a blanket with food all around and holding a cake with a sparkling candle.

Bakugou is yet again, mesmerized by your spirit and love. He smiles making his way to you before stopping a few feet away.

“Matcha flavored with whipped cream, just the way you like.”

The candle fizzle out and the words you’ve written on the cake are now visible.

To The Love of My Life.

“Happy Birthday, Katsuki.” You say, grabbing his attention. “May this year bless you with good health and fortune.”

“I wish the world would stop for a second to let me appreciate you more.” Bakugou lowers his forehead to meet yours. A gentle kiss seals the birthday wish.

The next few hours were spent basking in each other's company away from the city noise. With only a few hours left til sunset, you both head back home.. You still had one more gift for him.

Bakugou opens the sliding door in your shared bedroom to allow the ocean breeze in. He takes a seat on the sofa outside and waits for you to join him.

“Hey.” You called out to him shly. When Bakugou turns to see you, he’s breathless.

You wore a black and green bustier, matching black lace panties and to finish the look, an orange gartier. Bakugou loved seeing you in his colors.

“Do you like it?” Though Bakugou has seen you bare many times, the intensity of his eyes still makes you feel shy.

The tightness in his sweatpants further grows and the uncomfortable mess you got him in makes his growl. Bakugou motions you to walk over to him with two fingers, tapping his lap for where you need to sit. You follow his command and take a seat on his lap. His bulge teases you as he adjusts himself lower on the sofa. All day, he’s been a tease. But here in the bedroom, you know how to make him crumble just as much.

“You know, they say men’s testosterone level increases at this hour.” You lower yourself to meet his lips. “Increasing the chances of pregnancy.”

Bakugou growls in heat, hands finding its home on your hips, digging into your flesh to hold you still as he tries to release some pressure from his groin.

“Daddy Bakugou.” You say in the sexiest way he’s ever heard you say. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think so ‘Suki?”

Bakugou leans forward to kiss you but just as he teased you this morning, you do the same. You pull back before he can find any pleasure from your lips.

“Fuck, Y/N.” Bakugou is growing frustrated at your teasing. With his strength and build, he can easily overpower you; but something about you taking the lead makes you so fucking sexy right now. He’s so turned on.

You can’t deny that you are turned on right now either. The show you’ve put on so far took so much courage you were afraid you weren’t going to get through the first line. With the heat intensifying within, you can’t hold much longer either.

Crossing your arms behind Bakugou’s neck, you cradle your face to his.

“Please give me a baby, Katsuki.”

Wednesday

“Ten more minutes of stomping folks. Your very own wine bottle from grapes you harvested and aroma’s you selected are minutes away from completion.” The wine instructor announces to the group.

You can’t stop laughing at Bakugou’s expression as your feet stomp the purple grapes below into liquid. The thought of drinking the liquid afterwards horrifies Bakugou even more. The instructor had explained that the delicate balance of the acid, sugar and alcohol that is added to each batch means human pathogens can’t survive. You’re more likely to be stung by a bee than for your wine to taste like feet the instructor explained.

“Congratulations! You’ve just made a one-of-a-kind wine. What would you like to name your wine?”

“Y/Nsuki” You both say at the same time, a nickname you’ve received from your friends.

The worker processes the label and sticks it on 3 wine bottles. It’ll take 2-3 weeks before you can actually consume it but it’ll be worth the wait. Before heading out, you purchase another bottle of the favorite wine you both had that day for an evening drink.

“My feet feel weird.” Bakugou complains on the ride home. “I can’t believe you made us do that.”

“I thought it was rather fun making our own wine.” You snuggle the wine on your lap closer. Today was a success! The last two days were everything you planned it to be and Bakugou seemed to have enjoyed it as well.

It’s now half way through the week which means your getaway was almost over. Getting home, you and Bakugou climb into the outdoor sofa to enjoy the sunset yet again. With a glass of wine in hand, you reminisce about the past.

“Do you still remember when we met?”

“Of course.”

“Remember when you asked me out?”

“Is this a test or something?” He arched a brow.

“Remember what you said to me?”

“It’s always been you.” He looks over his shoulder, reciting the memory to you.

“And I will choose you everyday.” You respond, reciting the rest of the memory.

The wine makes its way to your head and your feeling confident in your drunken state. Leaning an arm on the cushion, you face Bakugou who takes another sip of wine.

“Remember when I challenged you to the Bamboo challenge?” you chuckled drunkenly. “And then you kissed me? I was so shocked. I think it was that moment I fell stupid hard for you.”

Bakugou was about to take a sip before you made your confession. You’ve never told him this before.

“It felt like yesterday when you proposed to me. I am the luckiest woman alive to be able to say the strongest, sexiest, and most powerful hero Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight is my husband.” You giggle, only to fall forward more than intended. Bakugou catches you before lifting your body to snuggle on him.

“See, I knew my strong sexy husband will catch me.” The alcohol pushes your eyelids shut and the strength to fight against it was no more. “‘M lay r’e hr” You mumbled incoherently as sleep took over.

The sun had finally set and the only noise left was the crashing of the waves on shore. For the fourth time this week, Baugou wished he could freeze time to appreciate you longer.

Thursday

“The goal is to go shop for things that remind us of each other. We both have 30 minutes each to shop.” You explained to your husband who is more than thrilled for a challenge he knew he was going to win easily.

An hour later you both are back at your home sitting across each other on the kitchen island.

“Ready?” You both grab onto item #1 hidden underneath you.

“Something that is their favorite color. 3...2...1!”

You place orange socks on the island while Bakugou pulls a F/C mug out.

“A favorite snack 3...2...1!”

You pull a bag of wasabi flavored chips and Bakugou pulls out a box of cookies-n-cream pocky sticks.

“A favorite drink 3...2...1!”

You both place a pack of yakult on the kitchen island. Bakugou is the first to chuckle. Seeing that you both knew to buy yakult, you drink one to celebrate.

“Something they want 3...2...1!”

You pull out a red All-Might knock off tee and Bakugou pulls out a card shaped like a coupon. Inside the card read: Baku Coupon: Good for one request

“Only one?” You protest.

“Yeah so choose wisely, princess.” Bakugou gives you a wink as he tries on the tee (he likes it but won't admit it).

You set aside the card to reveal the last item in the challenge.

“Something they need 3...2...1!”

You pull out a bag of assorted candy and Bakugou pulls out a box of condoms.

What?! You laughed grabbing the box of condoms. Bakugou unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in his mouth. You’re always teasing him that he needed more sweets in his life and he plans to add more than just sweets.

His suggestive actions stirs naughty thoughts of what you could be sucking right now. Bakugou catches the lust in your eyes and grins. The condoms he bought were meant to be a message. You looked away in a feeble attempt to hide the dirty thoughts you were just having about your husband.

Friday

It was your last day at your coastal home before an early ride home tomorrow. Taking a stroll down the beach to relax, the commotion at the nearby hotel catches your attention and you’re pulling Bakugou along to check out what was going on. The banner hung above the balcony read “Spicy Tonkotsu Ramen Challenge”.

“I will beat you, Bakugou Katuski.” You take your napkin and tuck it in your shirt and stare into the soul of your husband’s eyes.

“And I will enjoy every second of it.” Your eyes darken as the competitor in you takes over. You’ve volunteered for both of you to play since the event was free.

“I’d like to see you try.” Bakugou tucks his napkin into his shirt as well, ready for the challenge.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” A lady speaks through the intercom. “The competition for the most bowls of spicy tonkotsu ramen eaten in 5 minutes, begins….NOW!”

Bakugou wipes his lips and if you could swipe the shit eating grin he had right now you would in a heartbeat.

“We have a winner!” The MC raises Bakugou’s arm and the crowd cheers him on. “It’s been an honor hosting you Dynamight.”

The crowd gathers to take photos with your husband and though he was not a man who enjoys fan service, winning a competition boosted his ego. You watched as he timidly posed for photos before eventually returning to the grumpy man you loved. He stalks over to you and grabs you by the waist.

“Let’s go home.”

With a full stomach, it was no surprise you both took an afternoon nap.

Waking in your slumber, the moonlight shines through your bedroom and onto your husband’s face. You lay motionless to appreciate your husband before your getaway ends tomorrow. Bakugou stirs from his sleep and opens his eyes to see you’ve already awakened. He shifts to move closer to you, arm around your waist.

“Hi, beautiful.” He gives the softest smile, ones he saves only for you to see behind closed doors. Your heart is beating fast at the butterflies inside you.

“I’ve been thinking.” You returned a smile. “I want to cash in my coupon.”

Bakugou nods, prepared to do anything for you. You want him to take another week off? Done. Make love to you into the night? Done. Make food for you to eat? Done.

“Love me forever.”

Bakugou wasn’t expecting you to request this but he can’t say he’s surprised either. You always chose him, day-after-day, night-after-night. Even on days he didn’t deserve it. To spend the rest of his life loving you was more than what he can ask for.

“Til the day I die.” he says before crashing his lips with yours in a passionate kiss. The embers only grow within as your bodies mold together to match the desire in your eyes.

#bakugou x reader #bakugouxreader #Bakugou Katuski #Bakugou's 2021 birthday celebration #bnha Bakugou #Bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou

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