#who am i fucking kidding tbh. the mask is barely there. i have like one person who reaches out first. we barely talk.

[sillypilled-friendcel]

...

#vent tw #who am i fucking kidding tbh. the mask is barely there. i have like one person who reaches out first. we barely talk. #my other friends hare me becuz im stupid and forgetful and cant speak right #i make everything worse #why am i even. like. bothering. #im scared though. scared to live scared to die scared to do anything. #and when i express the fear they chide me for being afraid #its a cycle #an oroboros. and i am the snake. #i need to bite down or let go but i dont know how to do either #i almost wish things could go back to the way they were. i was miserable yea but i was also too lost in my own drunkenness to really #comprehend the weight of it all #i dont want to be sober anymore #i want to drink and smoke and get fucked again #becuz at least i had a purpose. at least i made someone happy. #she liked me when she clukd hit me. maybe that's the problem? no one can hit me so they dont like me? #idk #i just wanna be liked. cared for. needed. wanted. #and no one wants me sober #whatever

[sleepyistinky]

Here's a little snippet from a fic I'm working on!!

If there’s one thing Jason has promised himself, it’s that he would not end up like Bruce. 

He wouldn’t be an emotionally closed-off bastard, he wouldn’t drag kids into this fucked up family business, and he certainly wouldn’t let Joker get away with traumatizing a kid the same way Joker traumatized him and his family.

He also promised himself not to get attached to any kids, period.

So why, pray tell, is he standing here with an unconscious teenager (God, he’s so small, is he even a teenager? He looks thirteen at most) in his arms. Both of them are covered in a familiar toxic green liquid, and the corners of Jason’s vision are tinged the same color. The kid is only in some sort of high-tech super-suit, possibly even more high-tech than Jason’s helmet or the batmobile, and the kid’s gripping what Jason assumes is the kid’s mask in his hand. Not to mention the bulky ass backpack that is way too big for the kid hanging from his elbow. And god, does the kid look like Dick so much. The kid’s got these freckles covering his cheeks, his skin tanned with barely noticeable scars here and there. It’s obvious he’s not from Gotham. Metropolis, maybe. He’s also got the same shock of white stands in the front of his hair, and Jason’s willing to bet he’s also probably got some bright green eyes behind those closed eyelids as well.

If Jason begins to follow in Bruce’s footsteps when it comes to collecting kids who have the same anger (well, kinda) as him? Well, he’ll let it slide this once. He’s sure Dick will be excited to be a kinda-sorta-maybe uncle.

-

Basically, just all those other Spider-Man gets sent to Gotham EXCEPT I am not planning anything out and it's going to be Tom Holland's Spide-Man, ATSV Miles, Gwen, Pav, margo, and Hobie. I'll probably have Jason punch Miguel at some point tbh

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #jason todd #batfam #across the spiderverse #tom holland peter parker #peter parker #miles morales #gwen stacy #spider gwen #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #spiderman atsv #atsv miguel #atsv hobie #atsv miles #atsv gwen #atsv pavitr #margo kess #atsv margo #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #nightwing #dick grayson #richard grayson #richard dick grayson #jason todd and peter parker #why is that not a tag #fanfic

[slow-drowned-angels]

Still pissed at my therapist who said “but you have friends!” when I mentioned I suspected ASD. When she followed up with “yeah, people with autism usually don’t have and/or want friends” (paraphrased), I replied, incredulously, “I don’t think that’s true!” Then she went on about how autistic people she worked with tended to be more interested in special interests than people and therefore I couldn’t be autistic. I honestly wasn’t sure how to respond at that point, but over the last month I keep coming back to this conversation and being super confused.

Since then, she’s been a bit better though (including asking around regarding the cost and benefits for getting an official diagnosis, plus possible alternatives).

More discussion below. TL;DR: That’s a wild thing to generalize, even though it’s true for some autistics. Especially because she barely knows me (we’ve only had a few sessions) and didn’t ask any follow-up.

Sounds sus. Since…. I am on the autism social media site TM (and see all the posts from autistic people who have friends, who tried really hard to have friends, etc) and also I have an irl friend who is diagnosed ASD and has WAY more social interest than I do. And like… why would masking exist as a concept if autistic people didn’t care about fitting in with (and gaining social acceptance of) allistic people? Like yeah autistic people have social difficulties and that often manifests in having difficulties making and keeping friends, but wow. I imagine we’re sometimes good enough at masking to succeed in friendships?? And that there exist enough people who are either nice or neurodiverse themselves that we can be friends with without having to mask?? It kinda goes back to the whole problem with defining autism solely by traumatized autistic people.

I’ve been very lucky to have people around me who have actively tried to be friends with me. (I understand that this is a privilege I’m afforded in part because I’m “allistic passing” enough. I understand that because I saw the effects of being a very visibly autistic kid at my schools. It was Bad.) The kids who befriended me were often kids who are kinda Weird themselves — 3rd grade kids who wrote pages and pages of original fiction in their free time (and in cursive), middle schoolers who will tell me endlessly about their latest obsessions, kids who pretended to be cats, kids who constantly read novels, etc. I honestly just kind of fell into friendships and made a pretty good sidekick (because I was generally down for whatever they were interested in and otherwise kept to myself). It worked out that the other person was usually a strong personality — except for when I was very young, I’ve been unable to talk at length about my own interests (either because I tend to tell stories out of order and get flustered easily or because I get bad anxiety that the other person isn’t interested in it). I’m slowly getting better at it, but Is Rough unless someone is asking me a series of questions to lead the conversation or I get to write it out.

I can make friends in classes because I know how to talk About School (and can contribute if other topics I’m interested in are brought up by the other person, like politics or media or queer shit, etc) and so I made friends with nerds who were very academically-focused and made friends with classmates. Are they considered friends if the friendship is solely centered around school? Idk! They’re people I talk to and generally like! So friend!

I also know that I weirded a lot of people out, especially in middle school and high school. Either because I was perceived as unfriendly or too intense. Tbh, fair. I was often unfriendly and intense. Part of it was deliberate because it meant people wouldn’t fuck with me. Honestly I learned a lot of the more complex social stuff from one of my current best friends and a lot of my capability of dealing with complex emotional situations is solely through directly quoting them.

Also this lady barely knows me, I don’t know why she’s making blanket assumptions just because I’m good enough at masking to know how to get a good grade in therapy (and tend to automatically mask with new people). If she asked me more questions about it, I would have been able to explain myself, but she began by dismissing it entirely (which I wasn’t at all expecting and didn’t really know how to… argue my case without making it seem like I was claiming that I knew more about autism than she does [even though I privately posit that I do; she didn’t know about rejection sensitivity dysphoria until I mentioned it as something I related to smh, to be fair this isn’t her specialty… but also she’s working/worked with autistic people??]). (Also, note how I write when it’s stream-of-consciousness and I get to edit and write stuff out of order and add stuff later on, imagine if I were trying to talk about this in real time,, dear god.)

Amusingly I think my temporary group therapy class therapist probably believes me more when I mentioned asd because she’s seen me interact with other people and also I’m very obviously constantly stimming.

(Thanks for reading my [social] life story.)

#alx.txt #uhhhh this is longer than intended #brain thoughts

[riverofrainbows]

I'm kind of ranting, also over past experiences, in this post.

I'm really annoyed with people who try to parent or discipline other people's children. Not with providing another safe adult or being kind to children. I mean things like telling your guests kids (or your grandkids!) that they have to finish their plate or eat the food they don't like. Or when we were to guest at some of my parents friends, of which we knew the children well enough so it wasn't horrible, but we all slept over and i was told to brush my teeth and the father of the family we were staying with was also brushing his teeth and i was done first, because i wanted to get it over with (i was very stressed about staying over tbh) and he said "Why are you stopping it wasn't 2 minutes yet, you have to brush 2 minutes". Like first of all we did not have that rule, second of all shut the fuck up?! You don't know anything about me?? If he was truly super passionate about dental hygiene he could have brought up the 2 minute thing in a friendly non intrusive way (like "Wow you're so quick, i always try to brush for two minutes so i know i brushed enough") to introduce me to it. But I was done with all regions of my teeth, i did not want social interaction with anyone, especially if i didn't know them well, and it was none of his fucking business. I hate when people assume things. Even when babysitting (so it's actually more your business) you should always ask first if you find something odd. Not everyone live life the same way. Or when a friend of my mother's (who i usually really like) came to visit a couple years ago, and i was making myself lunch to take for university, and was just trying to ignore the added stress of a visitor and the masking that necessitates while i was already on my last leg having to make myself a meal (I can't really eat the food at the cafeteria), when she came over to talk a bit and asked what i was making and then asked why i wasn't cooking a portion for my mother too. I didn't because as I said I was barely hanging on (that time of university really really stressed me) and including another person's preferences in my meal was too much stress, and not doing that is rude, so i cooked only for myself. The real question is why my mother didn't cook anything for me, and that is because she hates cooking and it stresses her 🙃. Anyway i stammered some explanation and she apparently thought it was really rude of me and my explanation not sufficient. My mother then told her after I left that it was totally fine by her and that i was just doing my thing for cooking and such, but it really upset me. It was NONE of her business if i am rude to my mother, especially since i was not actually, i was actually in active trauma and severe burnout and two energy sucking disabilities in full blow because of the situation. Which she did not know but WHICH I ALSO DID NOT WANT AND DO NOT HAVE TO TELL HER FOR HER TO LEAVE HER NOSE OUT OF IT. In her eyes it was a calm capable adult child purposely only cooking one meal when they could have easily cooked more, when in reality me being an adult has nothing to do with it and i was a multiply disabled person in survival mode who was seemingly calm because i cannot move fast because of my fucking disabilities and exhaustion. Stop fucking assuming things.

#own post #disability #disabled

[tshxrin]

hello, roaches and rats❤️

If you've known me from my insta/discord, hi bro, if you know me from somewhere else- i think you should kill yourself, jk. (Why would you follow a stranger-)

EITHER WAY IM GONNA YAP HERE, I dont got no one to yap to, coz I usually spam their texts and theyre too busy with their partners (mahi reference btw) to pay attention to me even though im the realest one out there fr.

Anyway hi, im ren, but i think i've got a few nicknames, like rennie, renpodd, shurin. Also people, ESPECIALLY MEN love to call me a piece of shit or mentally unsound/insane, love you all fr😇🤞

I  have the humor of a plastic spoon, but like its okay because people vibe w it fr; also i REALLLYYY like kuromi, i kin her tbh, daydreaming about men is so real, SPEAKING ABOUT MEN SIMON GHOST RILEY IS SO ARRUGGGHJHH, masked men are actually🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏,, i also gane religiously, but im mid at all the games I play😝😝. (Valorant, overwatch, codm & fortnite 4 any1 whos wondering.)

Also I think I have a caffeine addiction, like actually idk, but monster tastes good, like diabetes and synthetic flavors yum😍😍. But ong, the cherry flavored monster and ALL the punch flavors (except pacific punch, whoever likes that I wish death upon you, you fucking weirdo.) Slap fr. Also I have an emotional attachment to fruits basket, (the anime) shit was an emotional roller coaster but I think its a suggestion, shit actually had me in emotional distress for a week, NOT MORE THAN THIS ONE BOY WHO HAD ME DISTRESSED FOR 2 MONTHS LMAOAOAOAOA, speaking about boys lemme give you guys some ren lore.

Back in the old days (2021) I was a discord kid (still am), met a filipino guy through a mutual friend, bro was a sweetheart n shi we talked, he admitted he liked me, and when he was courting me he went offline GHOSTED ME FOR A MONTH, and GUESS.FUCKING.WHAT. he comes back, WITH A BOYFRIEND. A BOYFRIEND. Actually had me flabbergasted, but tbh i should've known better, I mean he was an asian twink, who was 100% a bottom, toxic relationship and bad parents so shi thats kinda canon, WUBDIAISKSKWO either way my point is crying over relationships is kinda gay, cry over your grades instead you fucking loser🤑🤑. Being suicidal over grades is a big W, being suicidal over a boy/girl just means youre an insecure piece of shit, okay maybe i shouldn't be so harsh but ykwimykwim.

BUT LIKEEE, despite all these I met some actual homies online, like ongod theyre my second family, i would 100% eat rusty nails coated with sulphuric acid if they asked me to, and im pretty sure if theyre reading this they know who they are LMAOOOO.

Anyway I had my english final today, lemme tell you the paper was so GAY. The reading part made me want to gouge my eyeballs out and submerge them acid, LIKE BRO-paper was pretty easy even though i went unprepared, barely touched the book LMAOO, but it was really lengthy. Like really lengthy, 6 PAGES WORTH OF A QUESTION PAPER, it took me 3 hours to finish it (we get 3 hours for the test), but bro☹️ i wanted to take a big fat nap in the class after i speedran the english paper but NOOOO, she had to make it so fucking big like girl I bet the reason why you make everything so fucking lengthy and big is because you dont get the satisfaction of big things with that undercooked ground beef patty ass husband you got, ongod who gives assignments a weel before finals, AND THEYRE SO TIME CONSUMING TOO LIKE TFF??? OTHER SUBJECTS EXIST??!??!, wow thats a lot of yapping, i love yapping tho, im a professional yapper, I think its just my undiagnosed adhd because I just went from talking about my love for kuromi and masked men to absolutely shitting on my english teacher's existence- maybe i'll drop some ren lore next time 🙏🙏

#professional yapper #autism #shitpost

[kayfarafey]

Hiii! 5, 7, 14, 21, 24, 30, 42, 48, 65, 98

...remember THIS ask game?

5. Favorite Culprit?

removing dahlia from the equation because duh and lana because she barely counts, it’s probably godot because bttt is one of my favorite cases if not my absolute favorite, and his involvement in it + his confession in court is an incredible scene. i know bttt is INSANE and convoluted and some people say it has a few problems but i really do think its the perfect case to end the trilogy on and godot is just both a great culprit with a reasonable motivation and also has the most batshit motivations and does the most batshit things for no good reason which is very ace attorney. chefs kiss mwah single-handedly makes up for recipe for turnabout

special mention to the phantom because i actually really like the phantom plot sorry not sorry i love characters struggling with a lack of identity it’s the transgenderism of it all.

7. Favorite Design?

justine courtney!!! i wish they were normal about how breasts look and work in the ace attorney universe but it’s far from the worst offender. but the cloak. the gavel. the color scheme. the hair. just her whole goddess of law thing is fucking incredible. another special mention to tyrell badd and maria gorey oh my godddd i. changing my answer.

MARIA GOREY. listen i know porcelain doll goth girl but the plague doctor mask. the plague doctor mask!!!!!! she’s so creepy and wonderful and obviously ANOTHER special mention to courtney sithe they went insane with them they truly did.

14. Character you have the most headcanons about?

kay, easily. EASILY. i had to go to build-a-backstory for them and it was more than worth it. i could talk about them for hours. and will.

21. Did you ever read fanfictions? Which one is your personal recommendation?

actually i’ve never read a fanfiction in my life. anyway read pressure (pushing down on me) if you want a straight up better version of the original trilogy i am not kidding.

24. Your OT3?

kay/maya/franziska tbh. i think it would be edgeworth's worst nightmare and that alone makes it worth it. that and the image of franziska and her two little gremlins who love her so so so much

30. Character you’d push off a cliff with no hesitation?

id say lotta hart but i would never harm a woman. larry butz. he would probably be fine.

42. Unpopular opinion?

i think the idea of phoenix being a deadbeat dad during the 7yg and being drunk or high all the time sucks really bad and i much prefer "beanix as a disguise that phoenix sometimes loses himself in but has a support system to pull him out" to "beanix is phoenix's new normal and he's a miserable piece of shit for the entirety of the 7yg" like i don't want that for trucy at all and it's just not fun. i promise you you can do angst w/o substance abuse

48. Random fact people tend to forget that you wanna remind us of?

edgeworth is also scared of heights outside the elevator thing. phoenix prefers chicken sandwiches to burgers. i dont know if anyone actually forgets this but one of mia’s original character concepts was that she rides a motorcycle. iris and dahlia were six years old when they were taken away from kurain village and split up and mia would have been 10.

65. Outfit you’d like to wear?

i would be irresistible in furio tigre’s outfit ngl

98. Which character do you trust the least to pick out a movie for a movie’s night?

please literally everyone in the aa universe i dont want to watch an action movie for the love of god please don’t put on steel samurai again we’ve watched it four movie nights in a row. please. and if anyone puts on moozilla vs gourdy i’ll start eating bricks.

[taylors-fourth-cat-meow]

Acowar Chp: 44 - The High Lords Meeting.

Okay this is from the chp tamlin enters because tbh I am not interested in anything before that lol

If u don't like Tamlin and love ic and feyre kindly leave now you have been forewarned.

Absolute silence. Absolute stillness.

Yeah baby that’s how you honour my king

I tried to school mine into the cold caution with which Nesta regarded him, or the vague distaste on Mor’s. I tried—and failed utterly.

Is there anything this loser doesn’t fail?

I knew his moods, his temper

What moods??!?!?! What FUCKING TEMPER BITCH??!!! See, this how tamlin is being viewed for having ugly trauma. Feyre brings up his trauma constantly. She throws tantrums and spits out rubbish without thinking how it might affect him. And when it ultimately does?? hE HaS mOoDS.

Here was the High Lord who had shredded those naga into bloody ribbons; here was the High Lord who had impaled Amarantha on Lucien’s sword and ripped out her throat with his teeth.

KING 🤌🏼🤌🏼🥵🧎🏽‍♀️

I didn’t know what to say. What to do with my body, my breathing.

Don’t worry babe you’re feminist king mate will tell you soon enough. 🙄

No more masks, no more lies and deceptions. The truth, now sprawled bare and open before him. What I’d done in my rage, the lies I’d fed him. The people and land I’d laid vulnerable to Hybern. And now that I’d returned to my family, my mate …

What in the? See? See? THIS BITCH FUCKING KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING??? PEOPLE I LAID VULNERABLE TO HYBERN. I. SEE THAT BITCHES?? Feyre herself is taking accountability for it? Maas herself is admitting Feyrug comitted a war crime only Feyrug is a Girlboss™️ for it. Djdjdjnsksla

Not as Tamlin surveyed the hand Rhys had resting on my sparkling knee.

How does your knee sparkle bitch? Like- are u Barbie? No what body wash are u using? Tell me don't be shy.

No, Amarantha hadn’t really known me—her loathing had been superficial, driven from a personal history that poisoned everything. Tamlin … Tamlin knew me. And now hated every inch of what I was.

SO WHY TF IS HE STILL NOT OVER THIS VANILLA COAT RACK IN THE NOVELLA?!?

“I’m not in the business of discussing our plans with enemies.”

Helion, across the reflection pool, grinned like a lion.

“No,” Tamlin said with equal ease, “you’re just in the business of fucking them.”

HOW- LIKE HOW CAN U NOT STAN THIS SAVAGE KING?!?

But whether Tamlin noticed or cared that three of the deadliest people in this room were currently contemplating his demise, he didn’t let on.

Deadliest? Bitch u kidding right? Tamlin is a high lord he cud kill your pet bats in a sec if he wanted too? And miss ma'am is sitting in a room full all the high lords and two bats who wear colourful stones and a lie dectector are the most deadliest? Like damn sjm how do u even fit all that bat dick in your throat?

Rhys shrugged, smiling faintly. “Seems a far less destructive alternative to war.”

So he can apologise to Kallias for not doing anything while children in his court were killed but can't apologise to tamlin for standing by and actually helping to put his ppl in concentration camps and torture them?!

I said quietly, “The sun was shining when I left you.”

Those green eyes slid to me, glazed and foreign. He let out a low snort, then looked away again.

Dismissal.

HOW IS HE SOOOO HAWT?!?!???????!!!!

Like idk feyre is trying to make it seem Girlboss that miss ma'am left tamlin with the guy who assualted her, who slaughtered Tamlins family and can control minds and hates tamlin, and thought to say goodbye via a letter? A letter written by an illiterate? Miss girl trying to be poetic and badass. Uk what is actually badass? "DISMISSAL" 🤌🏼🤌🏼🥵🥵🧎🏽‍♀️🤰

 “I bartered access to my lands to get back the woman I love from a sadist who plays with minds as if they are toys. I meant to fight Hybern—to find a way around the bargain I made with the king once she was back. Only Rhysand and his cabal had turned her into one of them. And she delighted in ripping open my territory for Hybern to invade. All for a petty grudge—either her own or her … master’s.”

OOFFF POP OFF MY LOVE!! YASSS "all for a petty grudge" YESS CALL OUT THAT BITCH!!

“You don’t get to rewrite the narrative,” I breathed. “You don’t get to spin this to your advantage.”

Okay this is so fcking ironic cause this statement is basically acomaf in a nutshell. I feel like one her editors told sjm this and she just used it as a 'fck u to them' lol.

“They peddle tales of defending our land and peace. And yet she came to my lands and laid them bare for Hybern. She took my High Priestess and warped her mind—after she shattered her bones for spite. And if you are asking yourself what happened to that human girl who went Under the Mountain to save us … Look to the male sitting beside her. Ask what he stands to gain—what they stand to gain from this war, or lack of it. Would we fight Hybern, only to find ourselves with a Queen and King of Prythian? She’s proved her ambition—and you saw how he was more than happy to serve Amarantha to remain unscathed.”

YES BABY!! He is legit the only character that calls these ppl out on their bs? Istg Tamlin is the most sensible person in this series. Like my man's talking business. He is literally the only one smart enough to notice Rhysie Gaslighting? He's is literally pointing out on a silver platter that RHYSAND IS FCKING MANIPULATING FEYRE and yet she doesn't understand lmao

Rhys let out a dark laugh. “Well played, Tamlin. You’re learning.”

See? This what they do? The second tamlin brings out valid points and starts calling them out they start condescending him? Exactly how women have faced this all these years. The second they take a stand they are labelled crazy.

Kallias’s eyes flared like blue flame. “You stood beside her throne while the order was given.”

I watched, stomach twisting, as Rhys’s golden skin paled. “I tried to stop it.”

So we are just going to go ahead and forget that fact in Acotar it was Rhysie the who killed the kids? Really?

Rhys’s mouth tightened. “There is not one day that passes when I don’t remember it,” he said to Kallias, to Viviane. To their companions. “Not one day.”

Says the guy who wanted to fck his mate in safe place of SA survivors.

Not … what he might have been forced to witness, too. Forced to endure, bound and trapped.

And standing by, leashed to Amarantha, while she ordered the murder of those children—

Okay u have no fcking idea how MAD this makes me!! Two dozen children died? Their parents lost their children?! And somehow the man who stood by and did nothing is the victim? What like what?!?!??!

“I believe you.”

“Says the woman,” Beron countered, “who gave an innocent girl’s name in her stead—for Amarantha to butcher as well.”

Yes old creepy guy call her out! See the ppl who actually do call her out and just deemed irredeemable villians who just talk shit about Feyrug just cause they are evil.

I blocked out the words, the memory of Clare.

I- what that's it? That's it?!?? Beron just rightfully called her out on causing Clare's death and she just "blocks out the memory" wtf?!

“Who knew,” Beron mused, “that a cock could be so persuasive?”

Pls 💀

“Stories and words,” Tamlin said, lounging in his chair. “Is there any proof?”

YES ANSWER HIM U LITTLE BITCH

“No,” Rhys cut in as Mor blocked Cassian with an arm, forcing him to sit. Rhys added to Kallias, “But I swear it—upon my mate’s life.” His hand at last rested atop mine.

Not good enough for me bitch

Tamlin rolled his eyes

I literally loosing my shit like how is this "your hair is...clean" man literally roasting these bitches. My man really said break up = glow up 🤌🏼🤌🏼🥵

“I once told you I would fight against tyranny, against that sort of evil. Did you think you were enough to turn me from that?” His teeth shone white as bone. “It was so easy for you to call me a monster, despite all I did for you, for your family.” A sneer toward Nesta, who was frowning with distaste. 

YES YES YES DRAG HER BABE!! Like he is do right!!! Tamlin did do A LOT for those two ungrateful idiots. They were starving and poor even when feyre was hunting. What tamlin did WAS NOT THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. Uk what wud be bare minimum? Giving them a piece of meat and bread every two weeks because that was literally what feyre was providing them. Idk I kinda hate Nesta here. Distaste? Girl u shud thanking him on your knees.

“Yet you witnessed all that he did Under the Mountain, and still spread your legs for him. Fitting, I suppose. He whored for Amarantha for decades. Why shouldn’t you be his whore in return?”

Yes. I said this before too? Tamlin is LITERALLY the only one to point out that their relationship is based on SA!??! And uk... Like idk what I said before. But this isn't slut shaming to me. Nope it isn't. Srry. He is harsh and he gets to be that after what Feyrug did to him but he's rightfully pointing out the truth.

“Watch your mouth,” Mor snapped. I was having difficulty swallowing—breathing.

Tamlin ignored her wholly and waved a hand toward Rhysand’s wings. “I sometimes forget—what you are. Have the masks come off now, or is this another ploy?”

How- how do u hate a person like this? Like can I just say if tamlin was a female in this relationship and Feyrug the male let's see how many not call feyrug abusive and cheer tamlin on.

“You’d be all too happy for war, considering how well you made out in the last one.”

(Tamlin to Helion)

Wait a damn minute. Which war is this? Is he talking about the humans war? DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE AFFAIR???! like what is the fcking context?! Djdjdjsksksm

Okayyy this is all for now. There's more about Tamlin nd hybern but I made a seperate post altogether about it so no point in discussing. The rest of the chp is boring and too much...even for me. Hope u liked it!!

#anti sjm #anti acotar #tamlin #anti feyre #anti feysand #anti rhysand #anti acowar #tamlin supremacy #pro tamlin

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Scouts/Veterans as Health Care Workers

Note: features Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin and Hange. A part two to my “SnK Warriors as HCWs” post found here. warning: mentions of blood, trauma, gore (it’s healthcare). Also, I know Hange is nb, I headcanon them as female, so I will be using she/her pronouns. 

Eren: this boy is definitely too involved in everything and has too many people depending on him at once to not be a nurse. The kid barely passed the NCLEX but that didn’t stop him from applying to every trauma center within a 25 mile radius of him. He got hired as a night shift trauma ICU nurse  and he frequently picks up shifts in the ER. He wears the cheapest scrubs he can find, often stained with ink in the pockets area. He isn’t a shitty nurse per se but there are tasks that still need to be done at the end of his shift and he gives a crappy report that’s missing too many details. Nurses hate picking up his patients, it’s always a mess. His charting is really spotty and he gets called into the manager’s office all the time to fix it. 

Still, he tries really hard to improve his time management and skills. He wants to be like his friends Mikasa and Reiner, who are the best nurses he knows. He wants to be involved in the traumatic cases and emergencies because he wants to learn as much as he possibly can. He’s really good at wound care, for some reason (hint hint). He’s kinda cocky sometimes too, which can be troublesome when Dr. Galliard is working. People know to steer clear of those two when they’re both  in the ER. Also, Eren always has a black cloud around him; whenever he works it’s gonna be a hella busy day in the hospital. Lots of emergency surgeries, intubations, codes and deaths. He’ll always jump in to help you if your patient is crashing, though, no matter how busy he is. 

Mikasa: she’s a prodigy. She was a straight ‘A’ student in nursing school, got a perfect 75 on the NCLEX and was immediately hired to the trauma ICU after doing a short internship there. She worked night shift for a year but her sleep schedule was so so fucked she started having night terrors, so she switched to day shift. Eren still calls her a traitor for it :/. She keeps trying to get him to switch over but he just hisses at her and threatens to chug a case of Monster energy drinks. She hasn’t given upon him yet, though.

This girl’s work ethic is beyond measure. She comes in exactly at 6:30 am, looks up her patients, takes report, gives a great update to the doctors when they round, and provides impeccable care to her patients. She knows exactly which treatments the doctors will order before they even speak. She’s incredible at inserting IVs--everyone in the hospital knows Mikasa Ackerman can put an 18g in a 90  yr old lady’s arm AND get blood return (just trust me, it’s flipping impossible). She has great skill when it comes to emergency situations and is a big believer in team work. If she notices your patient’s crashing and you don’t know what to do, she’ll calmly coach you and save your patient, too. All before lunch time. 

It doesn’t take Mikasa long to be promoted to charge nurse. When she’s in charge all the reports, paperwork and audits are completed before shift change. She divides the patient assignments really well and is very fair to the new grads. All around she’s an incredible nurse and leader on her unit, but don’t be fooled. If it’s been a rough day, Mikasa will get in her car and sob so loud her throat goes raw. A lot of people depend on her and working in a trauma ICU is really, really demanding. A lot of patients are demanding, rude and busy. She has a lot of trouble with stress management and is thinking of cutting her hours down so she can catch a break. Someone please hug her <3

Armin: for some reason my brain is just SCREAMING respiratory therapist. Like, I imagine this beautiful blond boy in gray scrubs (the color for RT’s in my hospital) going around helping intubate patients, giving nebulizer treatments and doing blood gases. I can just see him huffing and puffing when the attending doctor is overzealous about weaning vent support. -“Why are we changing the patient to pressure support? do you see how tachypneic he is on volume control?”

-“are you gonna put in the order? if not, your patient’s gonna be on PRVC all day, I’m not changing it without an order”

-“Doc, the patient looks like crap and their blood gas looks like death...oh, you still wanna extubate? ok, well I’m gonna leave the ventilator in here just in case. better yet, let me call a pastor in here, too.”

This kid is sassy af and he knows it. He’s smart af too, knows everything there is to know about the lungs and respiratory care. Knows every ventilator mode better than most doctors. Will certainly tell a resident off for ordering the wrong type of inhaler for a patient. He’s so damn intelligent that he even made the ice queen Annie melt like a popsicle. 

 He has no chill when it comes to his patients and even less chill (like -4078875874670) when a doctor gets in his way. For this reason, Armin has recently been toying with the idea of going to PA school so he can have a little more autonomy. He works al over the hospital, usually frequenting the trauma, CV, and medical ICU. The nurses there love him. 

Jean: Jeannie boy. Baby. Sweetie. He’s also a nurse. He is strictly dayshift and trauma. When he first started, he thought he’d do a year in the ICU and then go to CRNA school. He didn’t want to be around sickly patients with hopes and dreams and fears--it was too icky for him. But, over time, he learned that he LOVED trauma. Jean loves the controlled chaos that comes with the ugly, bloody messes that roll in through the ICU’s doors. He always gears up for trauma season (summer time) by bringing Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for everyone on the unit (day and night shift because he’s a supportive king). He gets really good at dealing with arrogant trauma residents and ortho docs who think they’re hot shit. When Jean sees a resident yelling at a nurse, he jumps in and threatens to have their license revoked. He will dig under their skin and page them incessantly throughout the day, too, just to get back at them. Jean is not a fan of lateral violence in the workplace, no sir. 

He always, always makes sure every room is stocked and new bags are hanging for the next shift. He has a thing where if things aren’t properly organized on the unit his brain just spazzes. He’s on the unit council and education committee because he also loves to teach the new grads. He also doubles as charge nurse, when management can’t be there (there can be one or more charge nurses amongst the staff, they usually work different days, though) He and Mikasa work so well together, teaming up to get tasks done, coding patients, running them down to get scanned, etc. People joke they’re the mom and dad of the unit. It makes them both blush <3 (Eren doesn’t like it, lol)

Jean loves to see patients healing from horrendous injuries, he’s constantly cracking jokes with the awake patients to try to make them feel better, and he’s really good at calming anxious family members down. Our boy just makes such good connections with people. He’s the guy you call when your confused patient is one second away from ripping his breathing tube out. He can convince the most restless, agitated patient to chill out. He’s got the voice for it. Also people love his mullet. It looks great. 

Connie: I really didn’t know at first but I feel like Connie would make a great physical therapist. He’s got great energy, he’s funny and I could see him dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire in front of his patients to hype them up for therapy. He’d be very sweet with them 

Sasha: I’m sick and tired of the food jokes, quite honestly. She’s more than that. In my mind, she’s an occupational therapist, helping disabled patients learn to feed, dress and clean themselves again. She works directly with Connie as they round on all their patients in the hospital, they make a great team!  She’s extremely patient and would make a very good nurse, but is unsure of where life is taking her. That is until she meets Niccolo the dietician in the cafeteria, and she falls hard. He encourages her to follow her heart and she does!  

Levi: Hm. This one stumped me. Levi is a bit...cold. It’s not like he has incredible social skills. He’s meticulous and focused and kinda mean? He reminds me of an anesthesiologist, tbh. Like he’ll sedate the shit outta you for surgery, makes sure you don’t die on the table, and then drops you off to the unit as fast as he can. He never takes off his mask while in the hospital and he scrubs maybe four times before surgery. He is very good at medication calculations and knows everything about nerve blocks, intubation, pain medication and sedation. He can look at a person and just KNOW what kind of sedative to give and how much. Your blood pressure will never bottom out while he’s there, he’ll warn the surgeon and immediately get that norepinephrine started.

 If Zeke is the one operating, Levi is on his ass to finish up the surgery ASAP and to not linger, because Zeke takes his time and ignores the tele monitor alarming in the background. After surgery, this 5′2 demon will scream at the 6′ resident about the importance of blood pressure management and sedation in neurosurgical patients. Levi plays no games and he also just really hates Zeke lol

He seems like a jerk but genuinely cares about getting his peeps through surgery. His favorite surgeon to work with is Hange Zoe, because she’s brilliant and fast, but also cognizant of her patient’s hemodynamics. Levi likes taking trauma cases as long as it’s with her. When he drops a patient off to the trauma ICU or goes there to intubate, he makes sure Jean or Mikasa are there because he knows everything is gonna go smoothly. He trusts them a lot. He likes Armin, too and even let him intubate a few times. On his breaks, he’s drinking tea and reading a Williams & Sonoma catalog or scrolling through cleaning Tik Tok lol.

Erwin: This man. This beautiful and hunky beefcake. Omg. I HC him as someone who went to nursing school, became a charge nurse on the trauma unit back in the early 2000′s and fell in love with it. Erwin would eventually fall in love with leadership and educating, too. He went back to school and earned his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (a practice doctorate). He managed the trauma unit for ten years before his brilliant leadership skills and wicked smart brain got him elected as the Director of Trauma Surgery recently. He is the first person with a nursing degree and DNP to ever accomplish this, so it’s very controversial. A lot of toxic doctors threaten to leave the hospital for this (because they’re assholes), but Erwin threatens to fire them in response and it usually shuts them up. 

He often holds lectures in the hospital auditorium. With a mind and voice like his, people are so drawn in by him. He advocates for nursing staff, for reimbursement when continuing their education, better staffing, parking, etc. He makes nice with doctors and gets them to sign petitions for the nurses to get these things. He’s a bit manipulative He’s also a fantastic manager and director, he’s really good at negotiating things. The nurses and residents all love him because he rounds on every ICU frequently, brings food, and asks them how he can help. He can be a bit daunting because of his height and deep voice but once he starts talking to you, you just get sucked in. All around an absolute king. 

Hange: This character reminds me of a trauma surgeon and intensivist (ICU doctor) we have, Dr. Omi. A great surgeon, really really smart, but takes absolutely NO bullshit. She will yell at you if you freeze during intubating. She wants you to recite every step before you take it, otherwise she’ll take the tube from you and do it herself. In surgery, she’s the same way. She wants you to learn, but by her standards. If she asks a question, you better know the answer or fess up right away, she doesn’t like the “uhms” of uncertainty as you try to search for a shitty response. Either you know it or you don’t. And if you don’t, she’ll teach you. Yeah she can be rough around the edges, but she’s got a big heart. She loves her trauma team. She buys them breakfast and gives them funny personalized gifts. One time, she bought an apply tree for Mikasa and brought it to her car at the end of a shift. Mikasa forgot to plant it and it died in her backseat. Hange will sometimes ask, “Mikasa, how’s your apple tree growing?” and Mikasa will lie through her teeth. “It’s growing!” Fess up, Mikasa. Those google search apple trees are starting to look familiar.

All around Hange loves to work and teach. She is a wonderful trauma surgeon and has saved tons of lives.  

#snk headcanons #attack on titan #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirstein #connie springer #sasha braus #levi ackerman #erwin smith #hange zoe #lama writes

[neoheros]

how would haikyuu boys handle the quarantine? feat. pretty setter squad

sugawara koushi

respects the quarantine a lot

it’d be very hard to get him out of the house especially when it involves other people

has stocked up on literally every kind of canned food

“we don’t need to go to target, we’ve got a house full of food !!”

gets up at about 9 - 10 am

but he likes to sleep early

if you don’t sleep early, he doesn’t mind staying up with you if you ask him to but don’t expect much of him since he’s most likely out like a light after 11

he makes sure you wash your hands every other hour

it’s kinda repetitive but he cares yknow

eventually you’ll get so bored of staring at the same things that you promp him to go out with you

he’ll say no the first five times

and you’re just like 🥺

he’ll eventually agree but on the condition of bringing alcohol wipes and surgical masks

“NO DAICHI WE AREN’T ACCEPTING COMPANY !! ITS THE LAW !!”

kageyama tobio

he’s a baby

take care of him please

tbh if the two of you aren’t living together, you most likely have to be the one to help him stock on food and necessities

but if you do share a house/apartment then he’d go grocery shopping with you every now and then to make sure you don’t run out of stuff

i’m talking you in the shopping cart and him complaining about it being heavy but not letting you get off

once you get back in the car though he makes sure to put sanitizer on both your hands and the moment you get home, he reminds you to wash them

his sleeping habits are kinda out there

most of the time he sleeps early, but there are times when you see him on the couch under a weighted blanket scrolling through tiktok at 3 am

no matter what time he sleeps though, he always get up at either 9 am or 2 pm

no in between

if he wakes up at 2 pm then that’s because he doesn’t want to let go of his grasp on you

is the big spoon all the time

and no you’re not gonna get to squirm out of his embrace, i’m sorry

kenma kozume

i’m just gonna be blunt here

this kid is grateful for the quarantine

of course he’s distasteful for the pandemic and stuff but c’mon he’s a teenage boy with a full ass gaming system and you think this isn’t a life he’s dreamt of?

like kags, you’d most likely have to be the one to make sure he’s stocked up on food and stuff

whenever you both would go grocery shopping together he’d always go for the junk food like sodas and lays chips

knowing this fully well, you get the things needed to actually make a proper meal

y’all know damn well this boy goes to sleep at 6 am and wakes up at 2 pm

it’s how his body clock has adapted and there’ll be times he’ll try to sleep with you at 11 pm but he’s just staring at the ceiling and moving and flinching and at this point even you can’t fall asleep with all the ruckus he’s causing

“K E NM A LEAVE THE BED”

“no, i’m trying to be productive by sleeping early and then i’ll wake up early then we can have a good day together.”

“baby i’m sorry but neither of us will be able to sleep at all if you DON’T GODDAMN LEAVE”

when he’s not gaming or having kuroo yell at him for barely participating in his online classes, he likes to have you in his embrace

most of the time if you’re not up doing daily things, the two of you are in bed just hugging

or you’re in the living room scrolling through tiktok and he’s in the bedroom also scrolling through tiktok

and when you both find a funny video you call to each other and then show it and go back to doing your thing

goals ngl

oikawa tooru

no

if i were to be stuck in the house for a month with this man i would cry

he’s a morning person for fucks sake

he gets up at 8 am and goes to bed before 11 pm and yes he will drag your ass in and out of bed so you guys can start and end the day together

it’s so sweet i’m not gonna lie but holy fuck my dude

he goes on morning walks and runs and sometimes he’ll ask you to come with him and tells you you’re missing out if you say no

but most of the time he’ll let you sleep in when he’s gone and you wake up to either your favorite starbucks drink or a protein shake he made you

oikawa tooru = healthy quarantine lifestyle

the two of you have cabinets and pantries full of food, both healthy and absolute junk

he tries his best to steer away from that stuff though but sometimes he doesn’t mind eating through them when you two are on the couch and binging old nickelodeon shows

with his bad knee, you also take into consideration how important it is to be exercising and keeping his regimen up

so even if you cry blood from running with him too much, you never mind coming with him since it’s for him to get better

he’s like one of those white moms who’s always out for a walk and always cleaning the house

whenever the two of you would go out for a quick raid in target or walmart, he always has to hold your hand

because “who knows what’s out there now that the world is ending, babe? gotta keep you safe.”

bro i love him so much i miss his stupid face oikawa i didn’t mean it come back home baby

akaashi keiji

when i tell you this man deserves an award for being the best boyfriend on earth

ugh he’s just so ? perfect

quarantine life with akaashi !!! is so !! romantic and domestic and beautiful

he insists on going grocery shopping alone, keys in his hand, him wearing a jacket over his hoodie, jeans and sneakers with a cross chain

this man is a sight for sore eyes

but even if he does insist on going alone so you can just sit back and not get exposed to the corona

you always tell him you like it when you’re with him especially when you do domestic stuff like shopping together and driving together at night with the windows down

when you’re shopping together, he’s the one who pushes the cart with his right hand and his left hand is intertwined with yours

you go pick out the stuff you like to buy and he tells you whether or not to put it back because let’s be honest he’s 90% of your wise decision making

he’s a light sleeper who has a good bed time

but when he wakes up at 2 am to see you leaning against the bed frame with the comforter over your head watching tiktoks

he doesn’t mind propping himself up next to you as he leans his head on your shoulder and watches what’s on your fyp

(he falls asleep there 97.9% of the time)

you love him

#if this flops i’ll scream #yes my sleep schedule is thrashed #i tried so hard not to include kuroo in this #imagines #drabbles #blurbs #oneshots #scenarios #x reader #fanfiction #angst #fluff #smut #haikyuu x reader #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq!! #haikyuu imagines #sugawara koushi #sugawara koushi x reader #kageyama tobio #kageyama tobio x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #kenma kozume #kenma kozume x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #haikyuu headcanons

[lovecanbesostrange]

There was no reason for Station 19 to go that hard on all fronts, but wow they did. I honestly watched S1+2 mostly out of habit, but S3 was like cleaning house, setting everybody up as a character with their personal flashback gave them far more layers and now I truly care. Thanks. Well, and then Grey’s happened and I cried for like half the episode...........

Maya and Jack have definitely profitted the most from the shift in tone and the character development overhaul. And I liked both their storylines. Maya dealing with all that crap from her father and coming to terms with why she maybe isn’t 100% ready for this very steady relationship and sharing all her emotions was great. Can she tell Carina everything she told Andy? In almost exactly this way, please? Because being afraid of slipping and finding these moments and naming what she has trouble with adjusting to - that is all good. And Carina is one of the most compassionate and patient people (from the limited scenes we have had with her over the years). Dear Maya, if you communicate, she will be there for you.

And wow, Carina than talking about her home and her own fears. Magnificent. Early days of covid? All the horrible, horrible news from Italy come to mind. So thanks writers for building that international bridge. (I wonder how any Italian tv shows that will incorporate the pandemic will deal with this. Every country has their very unique story in this.)

Of course we will see nice side characters getting covid and probably die. Gonna keep my fingers crossed for Marsha nonetheless. Jack having this make-shift family did wonders for his character and I don’t want him to take a blow. It’s a found family on the side, not bound by trade and I like it. I love that thanks to Marcus the masks with plastic windows were mentioned (even tying back to Dr. Riley’s visit to Grey-Sloan. Good job.

Well, Miller and Sullivan. That all happened. And I am exactly 0% qualified to discuss the issues raised. I do empathise with Sullivan a bit more (not that I dismiss Miller’s points, because like Sullivan and Warren say, he is right). Because I absolutely hate this thing were being part of a (minority) group makes you the spokesperson and you get judged far more harshly. And then also taking in-group crap about it. Yes, it is how the world is. But it’s unfair. (And tbh luckily Sullivan hurt mostly himself and he did stand up and face any consequence coming his way. And yes, he was the kind of person to always tell everybody else to better not make mistakes *blablabla* and look, he fell down that high horse... I do think that is something Miller pointed out very rightfully.)

Glad Travis talked to his dad. And I do like the way he did. Just letting him know he knows and leaving that door open. His breakdown about how the church/religion is letting gay people down, while so many sins are just forgiven... damn. Hard to watch. And if just one viewer watching suddenly went like “huh, fucked up”, it was worth it.

Vic is the unsung hero of this episode. I loved how she kept defending that drugged up dude. Yes, he is stupid and it’s horrifying that he stays with his obviously abusive wife, but also keeps drugs around and just... lives like this. But she kept talking about how he didn’t mean to hurt anybody else and that he needed help far more than punishment. Travis and Vic are both good people, but in that situation I think most of us would react more like Travis. Being annoyed, mouthing back and wanting those two shut the fuck up. It’s a normal reaction. What Vic said is the harder choice. And it felt like there was an untold story there.

Okay, wow, much to say about Station 19 for once. But oh boy, Grey’s...........

I remember the “early” episodes we met Bailey’s father. And then we barely talked about her parents. They were somewhere in the background. Until in “(Don’t) Fear the Reaper” we met her mom, got that whole thing with her dead sister and got this picture of her early home life. It was really good. And last week her parents get mentioned again, because hey, elderly people. AND NOW THEY TELL US HER MOM HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND THEN SHE DIED............................................................... it was so fucking heartbreaking start to finish.

And I love all the quiet scenes we got out of this that are just so human. Sad and human. Bailey talking to Meredith, saying she misses her and relating to the whole seeing your mom withering away (so dying twice in a way). I like the use of the beach, because Meredith is semi-conscious, she hears it all, but she just can’t wake up long enough. And then Maggie and Bailey on that bench.

Two people sitting on a bench, talking. Nothing special happens. They don’t need to distract by having them in a busy hallway or somethng. It’s a whole ass conversation with no shorthand. Showing all the emotions. Having Maggie go back to that time her mother died and how she views it all in a different light now. Talking about dying with dignity. Chandra Wilson was so good in this scene. (Her best performance to me will probably always be when Charles died in front of those elevators, I can cry just thinking about that.) And she was allowed such a variety of feelings. And the pain of it all brings up joyful memories. Thanks so much for that hilarity that her scholarship came from the fucking Daughters of the Revolution. HA!

I don’t get people who still watch Grey’s and the relationship drama is the thing they care most about. This is what I’m here for first - the personal lives and relating to all these emotions (and also the mistakes and the way to do better next time).

Well, at least Tom got better quick, I guess. Nice way to give Amelia a reason to get to work for a day and thus have her confronting Teddy. Look, I am done with storylines involving cheating and all. Teddy as a character is often hard to like. But the way she is isolated and like the most contact she has is with DeLuca when he updates her on Meredith’s vitals... it’s harsh. And I liked that Amelia can talk to her without making her feel more terrible. And then I did like Teddy talking to Tom, who was his charming self in the end. Bonuspoints for mentioning that the kids are with Owen’s mom. And hey, I give this to Owen, I believe this must be hard for him, because being a dad is the biggest deal for him. Actually something to make him more likeable - if handled correctly - and this situation sucks for him as well.

Which brings me to Link. Who was left at the Grey home. With Zola, Bailey, Ellis and Scout. Wow. Who would have thought? Amelia’s pregnancy was a good thing, I guess, to give them the excuse of baby time and also Link sorta moving in to deal with all the kids. (Shipping all of them off to their own living Grandma isn’t an option. lol ) Link is a good dude. So please, okay, it was news to him, no need to hate on Tom, push through the irritation, Link! Ahahahahaha.

Jackson being so nervous about his mom being a bit too proud to always keep her mask on - wonderful. Sure, she’s a doctor, she’s also stubborn and he was so scared of losing her not that long ago. Family drama everywhere! I always like seeing Jackson and Webber together. And then they had another big talk, hammering home the fact that people are affected differently. That it’s worse for poor people and not by accident, but systemic problems, most of them are PoCs. So many black and brown patients dying left and right, and it’s clear where the problem starts... I do believe for some viewers this is actually news, because the “news media” they consume won’t talk about that.

So, well, and then there is the Jo of it all. OMG where do I even start? Now, first off, Levi and Jo living together is still hilarious and thanks so much for getting two scenes at the loft. Especially that first one with Levi pretty much pushing her out of bed. Now, I do want Levi to talk to his mom, I desperately need to know how things are. I’m sure the pandemic has shed some new light on what’s important. Second I’m also glad Levi is with Jo, so she is not alone, which makes it harder for her to fall into really bad habits and down that depression hole.

I kinda freaked out seeing Val again and was sure she’s gonna die (might still happen aaaaah). They have a tendency to kill the nice ladies. Still haven’t forgiven Grey’s for killing CeCe. So it was cool that the surgery was a success and wow, did I love when Jo sent Levi out to just listen to Val and connect. And then the baby delivery happened and....... what is going on? Jo even just casually thinking about switching specialties? TO OB?????????? WHAT?????? Dear writers, you dropped the ball on her entire medical journey so often, giving her a bonkers fellowship, having her residency take way too long and shoving her into general, because oops no mentor or anything. And now you give me this? Please, so this is how I would accept this as a set-up for an actual carthartic moment:

Let Jo stalk Carina, play out this thought “what if this thing that made me happy for a day is the thing I am supposed to do longer”. And then let her have joyous moments, but also something complicated, and finally a very distressed woman in labor. And Jo feels for the woman, is compassionate and all and when the baby is there, the woman struggles to connect. And this joyous second is withheld from Jo. And boom, full circle, this woman feels like shit for not loving that baby instantly, for the feeling of resentment and being out of her mind. And finally Jo can forvige Vicki. And that’s the end of that particular journey.

I mean we all pretend that we have forgotten that time Jo stole a baby, right? Because that was the S16 hiatus and there was a storyline set in motion that blew up with Justin leaving like that. And we have had Jo interacting with babies and new moms so often over the course of the show. While also staiting that Jo’s self-worth is tied to being in an OR, which is also her safe space. So this whole thing...

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Addison was the attending OB/GYN once upon a time. (”I’m being stalked by pregnant women!” “You are an obstetrician.”) She was also a fetal surgeon, which was what Arizona eventually became. So it’s not like when Meredith wore pink scrubs for a few weeks and got made fun of. There could be a long interesting road that eventually does include  surgeries. But it’s just so....... dumb. In a way. Especially with Jo having so many issues. And the writers - who give out pregnancies and babies like halloween candy - constantly skipping a potential Jolex-as-parents-storyline.... which kinda bites them in the ass now. ugh F R U S T R A T I O N......... I could write a five page essay just about Jo so far this season, I’m sorry. (Also if I ever have to see Jo in pink scrubs, a part of my brain will explode thinking back to Jason for sure.............)

Oh, and then there was Ben Warren. Just existing. Being a good man. Thanks. :3

#Station 19 #Grey's Anatomy #ramblings

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 8x09 Brain Dump

It was...not all bad. I really want to like this. I love Mia, William and FTA. I want to enjoy BS like I did in S7. I want to see Dinah written consistently with any kind of actual character. Well, at least my love for FTA is still intact 😂😂

Mia

Kat was brilliant in this episode. Her leading lady really jumped out 😂😂 Her emotional moments hit the mark, and I think she juggled her post-Crisis new life with her old memories brilliantly.

We opened on her waking up in the Queen mansion(!), with a very yummy Diggle Jr in her bed, only it’s JJ not Connor 😱😱 She’s also surrounded by adorable family photos, showing that Oliver got his wish of her and William growing up together (and confirmation that the Olicity Love Cabin still existed!) Basically, she’s living the best life that Oliver could have wished for her, without him in it, of course 😭

Probably the most notable change in ‘new Mia’ (other than her being infinitely happier and living in a crime-free city) was her social poise. She’s been brought up in Oliver Queen’s old world, and is quite the socialite, only without any of the haughty frivolity that one might expect (I imagine we have Felicity for that 😍). She loves her life and her friends, and she defends them, especially in the face of Laurel, who seemingly does nothing but scoff at her lifestyle for the whole episode 😒 I loved her addressing the press!! That was pure Queen! Maybe the influence of a certain Aunt Thea?

Source: feilcityqueen

More below the cut…

Basically this Mia is smart and loving and happy, and Oliver gave her a warm and otherwise full life, save for finding her true purpose (which is gonna be vigilanteing, of course). So of course BS and Dinah rock up and upend it all 😂 I really liked how they made the returning of Mia’s memories a source of conflict, as well they should. It was so brutal to just return them with no preamble, to destroy what happiness Oliver had given back to her, just because, what? BS couldn’t complete her own fucking mission? (More of that later lol) Then Mia standing up to BS when she went as far as to mock Mia’s new world, just gave me life!!!

Anyway, with her memories restored, and bad guys to track down, of course Mia couldn’t resist her heroic calling and suited up, then proceeded to be the epic badass that we have grown to love.

Source: kathmcnamara

I loved seeing her struggle with her memories returning, and the guilt that they brought with them of not living up to Oliver’s legacy. At the same time, she appreciates what Oliver did for her, that all he wanted for his family and the city was to be safe and happy. She ultimately decides to remain the Green Arrow, taking up the guard of her city in her father’s memory, to protect the new world that he sacrificed himself to create.

Source: felicityqueen

We’d seen she’d developed her ‘street smarts’ in the flash-forwards, so I think she’ll end up bringing these together with her new social skills, and badass moves, and be an unstoppable force!! Hopefully that will include her old FTA team as well, and not just the two feathered ones 🙄

FTA/JJ

God this needed more FTA.

We got a small amount of William, more of JJ, what with him being Mia’s fiance (!!), and little more than fleeting glances of Zoe (!) and Connor. The disrespect!! 😂

William (who even knows his surname in this new life?) continues to hold my whole heart in his hands 😍😍

Source: oliverxfelicity

LOOK AT HIM!!!!💗💗💗

He seems to have been least affected in terms of his character, post-crisis. It’s implied that he’s running Smoak Tech, and that he and Mia grew up together and are basically each others’ ride-or-dies 😭😍😭 

I truly hope if the show is picked up, that they increase the William content by a solid 1000% 😂 He brings so much heart and a certain humour and lightness, just like Felicity brought to Arrow, and Ben is such an amazing actor. The new show will need a William. BADLY. He really seems to have his shit together (in the very limited time we have seen him of course 😒), but I’m hoping that that doesn’t lead to Mia keeping her memories from him for long (although remembering who their Dad is, I’m guessing she could take a while 😂😂).

So JJ proposes to Mia at the beginning of the episode!!!! Apparently they are the love of each others lives here. Dig clearly learned from what Connor told him, and steered JJ away from becoming a murdering gangster...YAY! Although it seems that in doing so, our darling boy Connor ran into a few issues of his own 😫😫 It looks like there is no love lost between him and Mia, that he has been in and out of rehab, and is now somewhat of a bad boy 😏😏 But when they first lock eyes there is still definite history and heat there and, just HJJHDFVGDFK 🔥 BACKSTORY IS NEEDED!! Then at the end, JJ has his memories restored by scary-dude-in-cloak (who I was totally hoping would be Dig or Oliver tbh 😂), so I’m super interested to see how he copes with his dual memories!! So now Mia loves JJ, but knows he was evil and killed Zoe, and she hated Connor, but now remembers they had feelings for each other and that he is a beautiful soul, and all the shit is gonna hit the fan!!! I usually hate love triangles, but this is so exciting, with the good boy/bad boy switch up, and then the opposite memories being returned...YAAAAASSSS!! Although I’d like to make it clear that, whilst I’m going to enjoy the drama getting there, I am firmly in the SmoaknHawke end game camp!! 

And as excited as I just got, all of this took up just about 5 mins of screen time 😫😫 It reminds me of what Arrow was lacking in its early episodes...heart and hope. They lucked into it with Felicity/Emily, but they have it here, ready and waiting, and are so far not using it.

Kat knows what’s what. This is the show we deserve. 

Birds

There was a lot of bird action. Apparently in shaping a perfect future, Oliver saw fit that Mia never met BS or Dinah...this is why we stan 😂😂 Dinah has also seemingly been erased from the history books 😬, waking up after Oliver’s funeral (😒😭) 20 years in the future, so naturally becomes a bohemian, opens a bar and sings a lot. Cool, I’d probably do the same 😂😂 Laurel, it seems, went off to spend time with Sara, and has apparently become a solo time-traveller, trying to stop 2041 from becoming a really bad year. Righto. 

Dinah was actually ok in this episode, if not hugely out of character, but that in itself has been inconsistent throughout the show, so here’s hoping that the zen-filled peacemaker that she was in this episode continues! Dinah’s new-found peace and bearability seemingly comes at the cost of Laurel being utterly awful. She rocked up in the future like Billy Big Bollocks with a huge chip on her shoulder, just sneering her way through the episode. She had such bitterness, disdain and anger directed towards Mia (and Dinah, at times) for no apparent reason, when they seemed to have somewhat bonded previously?! She spent the majority of the episode sauntering around looking down on everyone, portraying a bitchy-tomboy type, deeming anything vaguely typically feminine or not hard-moody-’badass’ as beneath her. This is not #girlpower. Fuck off.

Then we have that clusterfuck of a scene at the exhibition 🙈🙈 where BS tries to tell Mia that she used to date her Dad, before quickly correcting herself to “some version of him, anyway”, as if they were one and the same 🙄 Laurel’s continual need to imply that she knows, or has history with our Oliver is infuriating as hell. E2 Oliver died on the Gambit in his early 20s. Even if he was similar in character to E1 Oliver up until then, that person bears no likeness to the man he became. Her past with her ‘Ollie’ is entirely irrelevant to the man that was Mia’s father, who she barely even got to know at all save for a couple of episodes in S8. And not only the implication that she knew him, but then to actually try to trash him as well, to his kid?! All to push her idea that all versions of people are the same (which was refuted when JJ doesn’t even turn out to be behind the Deathstroke mask anyhow)? NO! At least Dinah and Mia were cringing along with us 😂

It’s just astounding, the turnaround they’ve managed with Laurel/BS. They already did the unthinkable in S7 and got a lot of people from this side of the fandom to empathise and warm to her, without pissing off her existing fans. I really did grow to like her in S7 (check my reviews, I still can’t believe it 😂), she was snarky, but not bitchy, and showed some heart and vulnerability. So it’s mind-blowing how they took all that growth and just obliterated it this season, and then even more so in this episode where she is just plain nasty and unlikeable. 

I do think, however, that giving BS and Mia a tempestuous relationship from the off was a good idea, cos let’s face it, you can tell there is no love lost between them. But they could have made them clash in a better way than BS just being an arsehole to Mia for most of the episode. My best guess is her anger comes from Mia coming out of Crisis with a life untouched by violence, whilst her earth was still lost? (Was it? I can’t actually remember if E2 came back.) She can’t complete her self-appointed mission on her own and knows she needs Mia’s help to do it?? I don’t know. She had a lot to say about JJ supposedly being a ‘homicidal manic’...pot, kettle much?! She also seemed to find the notion of Mia initially wanting to just appreciate the peaceful life she had been given and not becoming a vigilante reprehensible, but why? BS is the one that needs to atone for past sins. Mia does not. 

Stray thoughts

That cliffhanger!!! WHO TOOK OUR WILLIAM?!?!?!

The music was...not good. Especially during the fight scenes. Arrow was always so on-point with its score. I don’t understand how this can be so bad?! I did like hearing Mia’s theme in there, though, that was a nice tie-in the old flash-forwards.

Who is this Kevin that cheated on William? He must be destroyed!😡

Some of that future make-up was really something 😬😬 2040 is all about the severe/dead and unblended looks, apparently. The fashion was fabulous though!

The dialogue in the action scenes was soooo hammy.

Who is the mysterious, villainous “she”???

“Frack you!” and “I’m not interested in joining your Canary club” YAASS MIA 😂

William and Mia’s “pet rock” talk was super cute 😍 

Oliver’s statue!! 😭😭😭

Hopes for the future, if series gets picked up:

Increased focus on Mia/FTA. We have such a fresh, interesting, diverse cast, with intertwined back stories ready to go for this show here already, waiting to be used. USE THEM.

A deadly outbreak of avian flu 😂🙊

Failing said outbreak...keep the birds in the background or MAKE THEM LIKEABLE. This is a chance for a clean slate!

I wanna see Papa Dig so bad. David had said we’d get to see 2040 Dig in Arrow, but looks like that isn’t going to happen now, and I’d just love to see how he is. I can also imagine David being entirely done, and not wanting to be a part of this, however, but a cheeky little cameo would be amazing 😂

SmoaknHawke to RISE 🔥🔥🔥

As it stands, I’ll watch if it goes to series, but for how long remains in question. I just know I cannot get on board with the faux feminist “heart/vulnerability/girly is ‘weak’! Let’s be hard/edgy/angry badasses and fight men and show the world we’re strong pow pow pow” narrative that BS in particular, but also the general tone of the show overall, is trying to portray. I really think that if the show is picked up that they should look to see what is working and what is falling flat on its arse. It’s in dire need of more heart and fewer birds imo, but we can have both, if they’d just write them as better people.

Thank you to the beautiful gif-makers 😘 Any uncredited gifs are mine.

💗💗💗

#Arrow 8x09 #Arrow #Arrow spoilers #Mia Smoak Queen #Green Arrow and the canaries #Arrow Season 8 #beccie's brain

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister’s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

“Us” (2019) - Thoughts (SPOILERS!)

So I watched Jordan Peele’s “Us” today at the cinema and I just need to get some stuff off my chest about it because I went alone and have no one to discuss it with xD

Please do NOT read if you want to avoid SPOILERS!!!!

This movie creeped the fuck out of me - it wasn’t a particularly jumpscare-filled movie but it was creepy as fuck

So the movie opens with Adelaide going to this funfair/amusement park and wandering off into a house of mirrors. There she meets an exact clone of herself (Red) and she’s not the same since. She’s traumatized and can’t really speak about it, though they say she takes up dance or something as a way to express herself

That opening with the creepy choir music and rabbits? What the fuck? I did not need that nightmare fuel?? :))

I literally had no idea about the amount of tunnels that are apparently under America but woW OKAY THAT’S NOT UNSETTLING AT ALL

Fast forward to present day and she’s an adult with a husband and kids, and they’re at the beach where the above stuff happened, and she’s super freaked out about it.

The Tyler family are literally so white privilege - and I say that as a white person. It’s fucking hilarious. “It’s vodka o’clock” - lmao that really is such a white thing to say

Also the twins?? They were Ross and Rachel’s daughter, Emma, in Friends when they were babies?? 

I actually liked most of the humour to be honest, it kind of lulled you into a false sense of security

Zora pretending to turn off her phone and then continuing to use it once her mom had gone was so relatable tbh

I probably shouldn’t have taken my glasses off and redone my hair at the exact moment the Tethered people showed up because I’m blind as a bat and it was a blur for a full minute whilst I tried to rearrange my goddamn headband

Pluto (Jason’s ‘Other/Tethered’ person) was literally so fucking creepy; maybe it was the mask, maybe the movements, maybe everything put together...but holy S H I T. NIGHTMARE FUEL

The story that Red was telling about the shadow?? Y I K E S. 

Also Red needs to drink some water, it was super unsettling

I’m never going to look at scissors the same way again

Yo the Tylers getting murdered happened so fast WTAF 

Love how we were tricked into “oh they’re out there?? oh no they’re not, haha cool...fUCK o_O”

I probably should not have laughed so hard when Kitty called out to “Ophelia” to “phone the police” and it went “now playing fuck the police” XD

Also “Ophelia”?? I see you with your “Alexa” parody, movie!

Can I just say that the twins and their Tethered selves doing gymnastics freaked me out way more than anything else in any other horror movie yIKES

The scene where Kitty’s doppelgänger (Dahlia I think?) puts on lipstick, goes to hurt Adelaide but then cuts her own face open instead and laughs?? Literal chills, man

Being a gore fan, I really appreciate the sheer amount of blood in this film, 11/10 high-key recommend 

I can’t believe that every time we eat anything, the Tethered versions of ourselves have to eat raw rabbit like??? gross?? definitely not having nightmares about that...

The white people’s boat is called B’Yacht’ch I fucking cannot

Also usually in horror movies, it’s a cliché that the “token black person” dies first but in this film it’s the irritating white people who all die, and all of the black family survive this is good content

The soundtrack is A+

The fight scene/dance duel scene? With the remix of “I got 5 on it”? BEAUTIFUL. POETIC CINEMA I SWEAR

THE TWIST AT THE END BYE

I am so confused and questioning everything I know, what the fuck Jordan Peele

Okay so the “twist” deserves it’s own section because bitch the FUCK

So the huge twist (SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER) is that Adelaide and Red switched places right at the start of the movie - so the person who we think is Adelaide is actually Red, and vice versa

I’m not saying the twist was bad but I kinda knew already that Adelaide and Red were switched at the beginning of the movie - I mean the moment is heavily implied in the trailer!

I think they drop so many hints/clues throughout the film that it starts to add up quickly

First of all, the fact that Adelaide-who-is-really-Red only drinks water and barely eats anything. Like she repeatedly refuses to drink any alcohol too

It’s mentioned that Adelaide-who-is-really-Red doesn’t talk a lot, and at first it’s like “oh it’s the trauma of whatever happened in the funhouse” but then it makes sense that it’s actually Red

Adelaide-who-is-really-Red REALLY did not want to be back at that beach - again you assume it’s because “trauma” but nah, it’s because she knows what she did

The way Adelaide-who-is-really-Red killed one of the doppelgängers was kinda reminiscent of how the Tethered were killing people

The story that Red-who-is-really-Adelaide tells about giving birth to those ‘monsters’ seems oddly human for something supposedly without a soul (since she mentions that the experiments duplicated the human body but they couldn’t do the soul) - and then it’s like “...oh fuck”

Red-who-is-really-Adelaide knows that ‘real’ people eat proper food because she ate it herself; ‘real’ children get proper toys because she did too, etc. 

The reason that Red-who-is-really-Adelaide’s voice is so hoarse/raspy is because Adelaide-who-is-really-Red choked her into unconsciousness before taking her place

To add, Red-who-is-really-Adelaide is the only ‘Tethered’ who can actually talk

The fact that the beginning of the movie shows Red-who-is-really-Adelaide watching an advert for People of America on TV (the people holding hands across the country), it’s on her t-shirt when the switch happens and then that’s exactly what the Tethered start to do. Also, near the end of the film, you see her cutting up those paper-chain-people who are holding hands 

The Thriller t-shirt; right at the end of the Thriller music video, there’s the whole identity question of “is he who we think he is”? (I think)

So, here are a few gripes I had despite overall liking the movie;

It started off kinda slow, which was good in some ways because of tension and character establishment etc, but putting a whole two to three minutes opening credits thing really slowed it down a lot after the opening (though I did like the soundtrack during those credits)

Despite the switch being relatively well-done and a good twist, it just seemed really obvious after seeing the trailer

The twist sort of brought some plotholes but I’m going to bring that up in my question section in a sec since it may be intentional (you’ll know what I mean in a second)

I feel like a few times during the film, it was building up tension to be terrifying/scary but then the “punch”, as it were, came too soon to reach its full potential - like it peaked a tad too early

Finally, questions I have after the movie! (and boy, do I have questions)

Does Red-who-is-really-Adelaide not know that she’s not one of the Tethered? Did she forget completely? Like why does she want and plan to kill all “normal” humans? She must retain SOME memory because she talks about food/toys, plus the People of America/holding hands thing. 

Also does Adelaide-who-is-really-Red not remember that she’s one of the Tethered at all before the end of the film? 

The Tethered are all shadows of the “normal” people (for lack of a better phrase), so why is Adelaide-who-is-really-Red able to a) speak normally, b) dance so well, c) move more “normally”? And why does Red-who-is-really-Adelaide not move “normally” (eg. the dance parallel) when she’s “normal”?

^^ I wonder if over time they both forgot or repressed those memories, and only fragments remained. And then Adelaide-who-is-really-Red only remembers at the end that she’s actually a Tethered-person.

Adelaide-who-is-really-Red is a Tethered-person, right? So does that mean that the “normal” Zora and Jason are half-Tethered? Is that why they manage to survive so well or...?

Why does Red-who-is-really-Adelaide want to kill everyone in the outer-world? Is this supposed to reflect not separating “us” vs “them” or something? She clearly got loose from being cuffed to the bed, so why didn’t she escape after and go back home?

^Also, who uncuffed her? And why? Was it the Tethered?

Sometimes it’s like the Tethered completely mirror the “normal” versions, and then other times they don’t. Which is it? Why?

What happens next?? What is the purpose of the Tethered all holding hands in a line? What are they hoping to achieve? Are they trying to send a message?

Jason seems to realize that Adelaide-who-is-really-Red is...well, actually Red - and so does she now. What impact does this have? Is she going to go crazy and kill her family? 

Do Tethered have feelings? Or emotions? Because Adelaide-who-is-really-Red married Gabe so...? You know?

Is the fact that neither of them remember the switch that well/they both adapted supposed to signify that souls aren’t a real thing?? Because supposedly that’s what the Tethered lack?

Are there Tethered for ALL of America or just Santa Cruz? And what about the rest of the world? Do I have a Tethered-version of myself??

Finally, if there is a Tethered version of me out there, I’m sorry for eating so much since that means you’ve had to eat a fuck ton of raw rabbit :’( Please don’t kill me, we can be friends!

Overall, though, I did enjoy the movie! :)

#SPOILERS #us #us movie #Jordan peele #long post is long #this took over an hour to write but now my brain is somewhat cleansed #this is all I could think of from the top of my head

[icharchivist]

So your meta of Lavi is a masterpiece and it helped me put into words a lot of stuff. I kinda wanted to talk about Allen though, one thing you mentionned is that Allen is really positive/optimist and want to save everybody, and while some of his 'light' probably comes from Mana's mask because so far it seems Allen's idea of Mana was of a really kind and positive and cheerful person. I wonder how much of his optimism/positiveness and desire to strive for the best for everybody come from -part 1

part 2-himself ? And I suddenly remembered DGM reverse, and woah, most exorcists backstories so far are really horrible, but they all had normal-happy memories mixed in (that doesn’t make up for the horibleness of other stuff and I’m not downplaying their stories nor am I interested in comparing who had it worse), Lenalee had her family before most got killed by Akuma and she was ripped away from Komui to be psychologically tortured and abused by the black order and it quite obviously distressed

part 3- her, her life so war was happy until akuma and the B.O ruined it. I dunno for Lavi but most panels of him as a child are cheerful and cute af, and he became a bookman for his desire to know about history and know more than most people, then increasedly got sick of humanity and their wars and their stupidity. Kanda’s backstory is the stuff of nightmares and OW, but he had Alma with him from the beggining and his friendship/love/I don’t think he quite knew with Alma meant a lot for him

part 4- etc etc. Allen’s backstory in reverse ? Kinda the opposite. Red didn’t have anything happy, no happy memories, no people that loved him, nothing. He barely had shelter (one that didn’t quite block out the chilling cold), and had to work to the bone for and while he had food, it wasn’t something he took for granted, because if Cosimo or somebody else felt like it they’d say lies to the ringmaster that Red slacked off and the Ringmaster would get pissed at Red, ‘put him in his place’part 5 (I think it’s 5)-and make him starve that day as punishment. And he was under constant threat of violence from pretty much anybody. The best reaction/treatment he could hope for at the time was being ignored (and all his human rights with it), and had to face disgust/physical violence/insults/slurs from all others. Red kinda accepted that nobody’d ever love him (though he admitted he longued for love once he witnessed it), but that didn’t matter because he hated other people right back

part 6- and the first time he received warmth/got treated as a human was from Allen the dog, then from Mana himself (who Red thought the worst of at the beggining), then had fluffy and happy memories and moments during two years after his miserable and hellish life (people probably treated him normally once Mana got him a glove to cover his Innocence Arm). The thing that differentiate him from others is that most others experienced at least some warmth before getting disillusioned/cynical

avant-derniere part-most experienced some warmth before discovering that no, humanity/life suck (for Kanda it happened at the same time)(that’s even how the earl bait most into making Akuma, they experience happiness and love then get crushed when the source of hapiness gp away), but for Allen/Red ? He was utterly done with life and didn’t remember any instances of a good memory/life and didn’t even know what positivity felt like ? And then he got to experience that life doesn’t suck THAT much.

final part- then he got to experience that life doesn’t suck THAT MUCH. that’s why witnessing/enduring fucked up shit won’t faze him in his goal, fucked up shit was the norm before this weird magical thing called love came. (aside from his duty to atone to what he did to Mana) He didn’t get the transformation from hopeful to cynical. it was the other way around. He went back to save Tykki in the ark once the Noah problem was taken care of, because in Allen’s worldview, Allen himself and his -

the true final part- Allen himself and his friends doesn’t qualify as 'white/light’ in his worldview. Tykki is a sadistical homicidal bastard ? He does have human friends and people he care for anyway, so if he’s not a threat/able to kill exorcists anymore he might as well save him. And that’s why he didn’t judge Suman for being a traitor. Or maybe I’m just sprouting useless pretentious bullshit and am mistaken,sorry, idk, enlighten me.

Heyaaa!! first thank you so much for the compliment it means a lot to me ❤ but huge shout out to the anon who helped put it all in words like that.

Second, I think you’re completely spot on on everything you mention.

(Before jumping in the whole thing while i agree with all you say, i’ll just mention that one of the Guidebook, the Grey Arc one, mentions that Lavi joined the Bookmen at 6yo, and almost gets killed by a stray bullet when he was 7yo (the guidebook mentions he clang to Bookman’s hair when he was healing him, leading Bookman to say it’s Lavi’s fault they’re falling off now). So by all account despite this incident Lavi had a happy upbringing with Bookman, or well as much as the heartless Bookman training had to offer).

For Allen, yes, all you say is very true and it’s honestly super interesting to me? Allen’s life before Mana was hell. Hell, hadn’t Allen-the-dog died because he was beaten up anyway? The only happiness he had with that Dog was taken away by him likely by his abusers. Before Mana, he lived through hell. He was 7 when he met Mana and they were together only 3 years. That’s only 3 years of real happiness. And if anything we get from Cross’s memories chapter, is that it took Allen a long, long time to get over it (and while there’s camaradery between them, Cross’s teaching traumatized Allen to this day so. Poor guy went through a lot).

Mana seems to be the only window of time in which Allen was happy, and he doesn’t have anything else in his early memories that allow him to cling to that. tbh that’s also why the changes of names matter a lot with Allen. from “Red” because it was the color of his arm, something people insulted him for, it was either an insult he got too used to to correct since he didn’t have a name anyway, or seeing himself as nothing else than what made his monstruosity to others. To “Allen”, the name of the dog. Of the first being who showed him love and affection and who died unfairly. To then take on the “Walker” last name after he turned Mana as an Akuma, likely in a way to remind himself of him, to “Keep Walking” but also to remember everytime he hears his name of what he has done to Mana and his duty toward him. 

And you’re entierely right: Allen’s story was one of cynism and suffering who eventually ended up getting better thanks to Mana, and Mana’s loss and the guilt of turning him into an Akuma from Allen in the mindset of constantly trying to take it over his shoulders. 

It’s obviously not meant to disregard the others backstories, like you say- but it’s interesting bc even Kanda who had the most horrible early years in life had Alma, and Alma balanced out the horrors he had to go through, and he had him from the start. And the scientists were actually kind to the kids outsides of the experiments. (not excusing any of the shits they pulled the kids through- but it sure does contrasts with Allen’s past that had people abuse him for no reason).

Mana is the catalyst of Allen’s storyline in many ways: for being the first being who showed him kindness and changed his viewpoint of life, to then the grief of losing him shaping Allen’s future guilt that isolates him from others.

Had Allen not been able to create an Akuma for Mana, it’s to wonder how “selfless” he would have become. While I think that him wanting to smile, be cheerful, be kind, comes mainly for being raised by Mana- His selflessness, his self-sacrificing attitude, his way to distance himself emotionally from others all come from the fact he “betrayed Mana” by making him go through the Akuma making process. If Allen could have remained kind and sweet growing up, a lot of his worst habits may not have existed has the guilt from the Akuma not happened.

I think it would be the nuance of what Allen evolved into due to Mana’s raising him, and what Allen evolved into due to the grief of losing Mana and therefore forcing himself to wear his mask.

Had Mana not existed at all in Allen’s life, I don’t doubt he would have turned into a bitter person until someone showed love and care for him. Imo, Allen was someone who was starved for affection but was in an unsafe environment for it to happen, and he grew cynical. The only fact he cared this much about a dog being kind to him shows that he was already fundamentally a kind soul that was just unable to express himself and only bitterness remained. What Allen needed was someone kind to encourage this side of him. (and like you mention, Allen does agrees he longued for love, just didn’t know what it was beforehand)

I think Mana made Allen feel safe to be “gentle”.  He showed him how being kind and cheerful could help himself and others. Like a parent teaches his child to evolve in life in a way. Allen was only 7 after all, he was still young enough to learn, to be shaped by his experience.

“Mana’s mask”, that fake smile though, comes from Mana’s teaching pushed to the extreme after Allen’s guilt over Mana pushed him to push people away. 

So yes, you’re right: Allen’s journey was of cynism to cheerfulness. To determination to carry on. I think he had the potential to cheerfulness all along but just needed someone to push him in the right direction, and Mana was that push (but for that we need a little more “casual times between Mana and Allen between Allen’s 7 and 10 years old”). But the guilt and trauma of the Akuma!Mana incident pushed Allen to do this to the extreme, often at the detriment of his own feelings.

I believe his willingness to see the best for everyone comes from the Akuma!Mana incident as well. It is hard to believe that finding One Gentle Person after years of being abused would change Allen’s view this much. But i think seeing something like gentle and sweet Mana being turned into a weapon of Mass destruction, and then see this repeat itself with others people, knowing that Akuma were people just as desperate than he was, people who loved so hard, that they called onto a soul who hadn’t asked for it to be turned into weapon: would have Allen see that there must be something good into anyone. That if an Akuma, a weapon of mass destruction, could be just a suffering soul being chained into life because they were loved too much, then what about anyone else? 

I think understanding the Akuma the way Allen does have him reconsider the way he sees everyone else. That everyone has their chains that bind them to the world. That some of those Chains are heavy and can turn people into assholes to stand it, to stand this life they were chained into. But there’s still a soul behind the chains and Allen wants to believe in it. I believe it’s a way also to hold on to the last memories he has of Mana, to keep it as a positive figure in his mind, rather than an already twisted creature. And that’s why the humanity and salvation of the akuma is so important to Allen to start with.

By humanizing the Akuma to that extends, Allen can push his compassion to anyone else. So imo, i don’t think it would have happened had the Akuma!Mana incident not happened. It’s likely it is that bad in canon as well because of his eye only: perhaps if he only ever saw Mana, he would have developped differently, but seeing all those Akuma’s souls made it impossible for Allen to ignore it. The moment he sees a soul, he sees a story there; he sees a person who was loved too much and was chained back into life to commit horrors. And from that point on, I think that compassion just become a reflex.

So as such it makes sense Allen extends that to anyone else. Suman becoming a fallen told a story about why he became this way, of his relationship with the Innocence, of his suffering with it. Meeting the Light part of Tyki first had Allen sees all sides of him, and know that Tyki was duty bound to the Noah as well, and that people cared for him. And if Allen didn’t extend this compassion to Tyki per se, he would have had to the people who loved Tyki because he knows what loss feels like and he doesn’t want anyone to go through this.

I find it harder to word than i expected welp but yes, i agree with all you say, and y e there’s just. a lot to Allen. and imo his whole viewpoint comes from he sees Akuma to start with. Mana was his greatest influence in general.

allen breaks my heart ;;-;;

Take care!

#ichafantalks dgm #ichameta dgm #wouhouu #seikyoko #ichareply #dgm meta

[charlyoddsox27]

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

#long post #charlyspeaks #charlys cesspool of interests #team fortress 2 #team fortress #medic #pyro #heavy #engineer #scout #spy #demoman #sniper #soldier #zhenna #tf2 #drabble #my opinions #ooooo

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: The Assassin’s Blade, Ch 1-2

Book: The Assassin’s Blade

Author: Sarah J. Mass

I chose to do this book because I’ve barely seen anyone critical of T0G talk about this book. I remember relatively liking it when I first read it, but I also liked Q0S on my first reading, so well. You all know how well that turned out. So let’s dive back into hell!

First, I wanna point out the cover of this novel uses the exact same model as T0G for Celery but throws a shitty purple cloak over her.

That’s totally not lazy at all! And it totally doesn’t add to my suspicion that The Ass’s Blade was rushed out to make a quick buck, nope nope! Also I only wish I could have a thigh gape that big, holy smokes Celery, eat some carbs.

This prequel book is made up of several short novellas before the events of the first book. The first one is Celery and the Pirate Lord.

Seated in the council room of the Assassins’ Keep, Celaena Sardothien leaned back in her chair. “It’s past four in the morning,” she said, adjusting the folds of her crimson silk dressing gown and crossing her bare legs beneath the wooden table. “This had better be important.”

Oh god, we’re back when Alien was Celery.... Well, tbh, they’re one in the same, Alien just splooges about herself more often. Who knows, maybe this book will change that.

“Perhaps if you hadn’t been reading all night, you wouldn’t be so exhausted,” snapped the young man seated across from her.

Love how Celery is a supposed badass uhmayzing assassin, but she stays up all night reading as opposed to... training? Getting some rest for missions? Anything that might not hinder you in your job?

[Celaena] ignored him and studied the four other people assembled in the underground chamber. All male, all far older than she, and all refusing to meet her stare.

Jesus Christ, it begins already. Of course they’re all older than her. Normally this wouldn’t bother me all that much but it’s SJM, so I’m immediately suspicious. Also Sam is in the room and he’s just barely a year older than her, how is that “far older than her”???

When Arobynn summoned you, you didn’t keep him waiting. Thankfully, her sleepwear was as exquisite as her daytime wardrobe—and cost nearly as much. Still, being sixteen in a room with men made her keep an eye on the neckline of her robe. Her beauty was a weapon—one she kept honed—but it could also be a vulnerability.

Just... this entire paragraph. I wish SJM would stop playing into the notion all men are dangerous rabid beasts who can’t control themselves and just wanna rape every woman they lay eyes on. It doesn’t even make sense here, Celery knows all of them and aside from creeper Arobynn, none of them have ever sexually harassed her so why is she suspicious? And gotta that lowkey sexism implying that all beautiful women are delicate flowers who can’t look after themselves.

“Gregori’s been caught,” Arobynn finally said. Well, that would explain one person missing from this meeting. “His mission was a trap. He’s now being held in the royal dungeons.” Celaena sighed through her nose. This was why she’d been awakened? She tapped a slippered foot on the marble floor. “Then kill him,” she said.

Man, Celery is... actually acting like an assassin? I mean, when you’re an assassin, the mission takes top priority. I wonder how long that’ll last, though.

She’d never liked Gregori, anyway. When she was ten, she’d fed his horse a bag of candy and he’d thrown a dagger at her head for it.

I mean yeah, that’s really sadistic. She’s a literal child and he tried to murder her? Granted SJM destroys what little sympathy I have by then explaining Celery caught the dagger and threw it back, giving him a scar on his cheek. Even when she was a literal child, she was the best assassin evah. Gag me.

“Kill Gregori?” demanded Sam, the young man seated at Arobynn’s left—a place that usually went to Ben, Arobynn’s second-in-command. Celaena knew very well what Sam Cortland thought of her.

Sam is the only other young character in the room so yeah, obviously he’s gonna be her love interest for this book. Henceforth, they do nothing but bicker for the first 70% of the novel.

The location of the Assassins’ Keep was a well-guarded secret, one she’d been trained to keep until her last breath. But even if she didn’t, no one was likely to believe that an elegant manor house on a very respectable street in Rifthold was home to some of the greatest assassins in the world. What better place to hide than in the middle of the capital city?

So you’re saying literally no one questions who owns this huge fancy elegant place? That the king never goes, “Huh, someone who has wealth to rival mine has a huge ass manor right in the middle of the Capital” and he never checks it out? Nobody questions it? Okay.... if you say so......

The firelight cast the smooth, elegant panes of Sam’s face into light and shadow—a face, she’d been told, that could have earned him a fortune if he’d followed in his mother ’s footsteps.

Considering that his mother is a courtesan...... gross. Stop sexualising your characters so much, please.

Turns out, Ben was also killed. Oh no, not the guy we literally never met before! Celery is pissy that they didn’t retrieve his body.

“If we’d grabbed his body,” Sam said, refusing to back down from her glare, “it would have led them right to the Keep.” “You’re assassins,” she growled at him. “You’re supposed to be able to retrieve a body without being seen.”

I mean, you should be able to retrieve a body given that you’re assassins, but eh, who am I kidding, I care little for the conflict of Retrieving Ben’s Body.

Since Arobynn is apparently the only mature guy in the room, he tells them to stop acting like children.

Sam kept his gaze on the floor as he strode to the far side of the council room. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the stone wall. She could still reach him - one flick of her wrist, and his throat would spout blood.

Holy shit, Celery, that’s murder!!! Like Sam just disagreed with you, that doesn’t warrant you imagining yourself slitting his throat!!! How the fuck are they gonna end up in love I have no idea.

Celery throws a pity party for herself and stomps off to retrieve Ben’s body. Sadly, she does not perish while doing so, and Chapter 2 begins.

Two months, three days, and about eight hours later, the clock on the mantel chimed noon. Captain Rolfe, Lord of the Pirates, was late.

Given that the actual Pirate Lord story begins here, the first chapter was, you guessed it, utterly pointless and could’ve been cut altogether.

Celaena, concealed behind a far-too-stuffy black cloak, tunic, and ebony mask, rose from her seat before the Pirate Lord’s desk. How dare he make her wait!

How dare the entire world not bend over backwards to accommodate Celery and her agenda! Fuck you.

“With every minute he makes us wait,” Celaena said to Sam, the mask making her words low and soft, “I’m adding an extra ten gold pieces to his debt.” Sam, who didn’t wear a mask over his handsome features, crossed his arms and scowled.

???? So why is she wearing a mask??? Does she have a pimple she’s embarrassed of??? Why???

Neither of them had been particularly happy when Arobynn announced that Sam would be sent to the Dead Islands with Celaena. Especially when Ben’s body—which Celaena had retrieved—had barely been in the ground for two months.

So how did she, a skinny sixteen year old, possibly carry a thirty year old man’s body and do it discreetly enough when the place was supposedly swarming with royal guards? How convenient that the first chapter ended so SJM didn’t have to explain this.

She raised her brows, but realized he couldn’t see. The mask and clothes were a necessary precaution, one that made it far easier to protect her identity. In fact, all of Arobynn’s assassins had been sworn to secrecy about who she was—under the threat of endless torture and eventual death.

Wait a minute, what the fuck? What the fuck... why...

Okay, I’m gonna do lay down for a bit, scream out my frustrations, the like. I’ll be back in a bit.

Alright.

What the fuck?? So you’re telling me she’s a famous assassin who uses her real name?? That her face is so recognizable she has to wear a mask??

THAT’S NOT HOW ASSASSINS WORK!!! The whole point of being an assassin is that nobody knows your real identity, you’re supposed to hide your name so you don’t get caught!!!! If you’re a famous assassin, you’re probably known by like, a cool nickname that isn’t your fucking name!! This makes no goddamn sense!! My assassin rebel leader from my dinosaur WIP is facepalming at what a dumbass Celery is.

All that the world knew about Celaena Sardothien, Adarlan’s Assassin, was that she was female. And she wanted to keep it that way. How else would she be able to stroll the broad avenues of Rifthold or infiltrate grand parties by posing as foreign nobility?

So is her face a giveaway or not?? She can’t show Rolfe her face, but she can stroll down the street and go to parties without concealing her face? This is beyond fucking stupid.

Rolfe shows up, and Sam demonstrates that he’s the only character with a brain in this novel.

Sam stood, bowing his head slightly. “Sam Cortland,” he said by way of greeting.

Meanwhile, Celery just fires sarcastic and ‘witty” quips one after another.

Rolfe’s eyes gleamed with the challenge. “You’re in my city, and on my island.” Only a handbreadth separated them. “You’re not in any position to give me orders.”

Slay her Rolfe!!! I stanned Rolfe in E0S, I’m gonna stan him here, because he is as sick of Celery’s bullshit as I am.

With two deft flicks of his wrist, Rolfe sliced open both envelopes with a letter-knife she somehow hadn’t spotted. How had she missed it? A fool’s mistake.

Lmfao, what a noob. Maybe if Celery wasn’t busy stuffing her nose up her own ass, she’d notice important shit like that.

Rolfe reads the letter which details Arobynn asking Rolfe for some slaves, and at least Celery has the decency to be disgusted by that. Strange that she was the capacity to care about someone other than herself, but I’ll at least give her points for that.

[Rolfe] pointed toward the door. “I have two rooms prepared for you.” “We only need one,” she interrupted. Rolfe’s eyebrows rose suggestively.

I mean, gross to sexualise your characters even more, but Celery does realize saying they only need one room does sort of imply she and Sam are a thing, right? Like she gets so pissy that Rolfe interprets it that way, but like, it does lowkey sound like they’re an item therefore she doesn’t mind sharing a bed with him? Whatever, who cares.

Celery wants to punch Rolfe in the dick but doesn’t and the chapter ends. So begins another tidal wave of absolute bullshit.....

#the worm talks #the worm reads: tab #anti sjm #anti tog #anti tab #back into hell we go