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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 1 year

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Halloween prompts no. 31 (part 13: Finale)

Ras al Ghul was concerned. The Lazarus pits had been literally boiling and frothing at the edges. In fact the pit seemed to be steadily growing in size.

Ras did some tests and discovered the chemical components of the pits had not changed, but none of the bodies thrown in were revived, instead ever single one was turned into a rage filled zombie that glowed with the pits power. He still wasn't sure what to make of this when he got word that it wasn't just his pit that was reacting this way, but all of them. More pits were even opening up at a rapid pace, but strangely enough it was only happening in North America.

As time went on the pits continued to react more and more strange. Lightning began to dance across the surface and strike anyone or anything that got near. Any inanimate objects struck would begin acting on thier own and attacking anyone who got close. Fascinating.

He was just about to inform Batman of this development because as interesting as this was he did want his pit back. Unfortunately, it was just as he thought this that crap hit the fan.

The pits in America transformed into Portals to an unknown realm and creatures of all sorts began spewing forth followed by an army of skeletons, human, animal, alien, demon, dragons, you name it. It was there. Ras wisely decided to stay out of this one.

-------

The US was quickly overrun by myths and monsters, Green Arrow and his team was getting thier butts kicked by glowing stone gargoyles, the speedsters were dealing with a herd of colorful unicorns with hair made out of lightning, a freaking Kraken had emerged in one of the great lakes and was destroying everything it could. A purple dragon with a neon green underbelly began attacking Gotham and Red Hood asked, "Who the hell pissed off Barney?!"

It was only after they defeated an arrogant black dragon and its necklace was knocked off did they have a way to fight back. Hood hurriedly put on the amulet and turned into a large red dragon. Granted he rampaged a bit before he was attacked by one of the much smaller skeleton dragons and he began fighting them. He and 'Barney' got into what was essentially a dragony fistfight and Jason roared in victory after defeating it.

Tim got thrown into one of the pits and came out with pit madness and attacked anything that moved, roaring and baring his teeth all the while until he calmed down about twenty minutes later.

Similar things began happening all over the US where odd green lightning danced across the ground bringing inanimate objects to life and driving people to either temporary or permanent pit madness when struck.

Meanwhile,

Wonderwoman was being greatly outnumbered by chimeras and armed skeleton warriors while something similar was happening with Superman, save for the fact the skeletons he was dealing with wore armor made out of kryptonite.

After hours of fighting and the skeleton armies purposely burning and tearing down any buildings they saw things suddenly changed. All the creatures collectively froze for approximately two seconds before resuming the battle, this time with the intent to capture the heros in bubble prisons instead of killing them. The first captured was Superboy.

It spiraled from there with Superman and Wonderwoman being taken out and dragged through the portal

Shazam was being herded by spirits who were trying to protect him and were preventing him from fighting.

Tim freaked out upon learning about Superboys capture and went out of his way to go through the portal and save him. And the others of course.

He manages to land of the back of a giant glowing green bird and (with a lot of difficulty) gets it to land at what looks like a prison. He finds and frees Superboy and Martian Manhunter from thier bubbles and cells, but they seem to be the only heros here. The other inmates look like true eldrich horrors and the three of them try not to look directly at them as they escape. They work together to try to find the other imprisoned heros. They instead come across a pitch black castle with a welcoming white glow and sneak inside. MM shape-shifted into one of the skeletons and went unnoticed by the strange people roaming the castle, this, unfortunately did not fool the skeletons that were on guard duty and/or patrolling the castle and they all attacked them, leading them to try to hide in a nearby room that was actually heavily guarded. Locking the door behind them, they were pleased to note the skeletons couldn't seem to get through. They were all breathing heavily when a soft beep from behind them caused them to whirl around.

Instead of a threat, they found a seemingly very much alive boy around eight to ten years of age laying in a plush bed, guarded by a growling green puppy and hooked up to what seemed to be a heart monitor and other medical equipment. The heartbeat was dreadfully slow however. Superboy picked up the black crown that was resting on the bedside table and they all shared a look.

Was this the prince? It didn't look like he was leading the charge seeing as he was clearly in a coma, but whatever was happening the boy was clearly involved somehow.

A knock on the door startled them again, followed by an eerily calm voice, "Intruders of the Realms. You have been granted audience with the sister of the prince and currently reining princess of the Realms. Come quietly and you will not be harmed."

They talked amongst themselves and agreed to talk to the princess in hopes of getting more information. If they're attacked then they would at least have a change to fight or run rather than being stuck in a room with a comatose child. Sure they could use him as a hostage, but just the thought of doing that to a little kid made Tim's stomach sick, so no.

The princess was not at all what they thought she would be. She was a little girl not much older than the boy with bright orange hair and a blue dress with a matching oversized bow on her head. She seemed just as alive as her brother and very, very angry. She claimed she was Jasmine, but to call her Jazz. The American government had committed hundreds of war crimes against the Realms and even more "acts of war". Appearently they attacked the prince directly while he was trying to settle disputes between the living and the dead caused by a portal to the Infinite Realms that the humans had created. (The creation of the portal itself broke several ancient treaties) This wasn't unusual, and Prince Phantom often forgave them, even though they didn't deserve it. Many spirits have grown increasingly angry with the living over the past year or so this has been occurring and swiftly flew into a wild rage when it was discovered thier sweetheart of a prince was captured by the GIW and tortured for months until someone rescued him. When he was returned to the castle he cried himself to sleep and hasn't awoken since.

This was bad. Really bad. It sounded like the US was the aggressor, which explains a lot of things, like why only the US was being attacked,why the president was killed and government places like the pentagon and White house were so thoughly destroyed and its staff picked off.

Jazz explained that they were capturing anyone that was involved in the horrors committed against the Realms and its people and dragging them back to the dungeons to face the same tortures they had or had planned to put Phantom and the others through.

The princess then offered them a way home so long as they told the other heros the truth about what was happening and that this was a war between two government bodies.

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crowned-aeris · 2 months

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A Reverse-Robin Wingfic / To Brace Upon Benign Feathers

It starts kinda crack-ish, but then gets kinda emotional-y towards the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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"TIM!"

He jerked awake, blinking at the ceiling in confusion as his brain slowly registered where he was.

"Tim!" the voice came again, followed by a body slamming into his chest.

"Oomf!" Tim grunted as the air was violently knocked out of his chest. With a tight expression, he reached up and carded a hand through his brother's hair, "Morning, Dick."

"Hi!" the newest addition to the family chirped brightly, his sapphire eyes glowing as bright as a 200,000 lumens flashlight. Brighter than the sun, even. The blue reminds him of Kon and the alien's blue eyes that looked like a wolf-rayet star.

"What time is it?" Tim mumbled, wincing as the five-year-old crawled over him, digging his knee into Tim's kidney and accidentally stepping on his wing.

"It's time for you to get your a- butt in gear and move," Jason called from the door. “Damian’s making breakfast, so Duke asked us to come and wake you.”

Tim groaned, dropping his head back until it banged loudly against the headboard. Maybe if he hit his head hard enough, he could go back to sleep.

Dick cheered when he spotted Jason, the Ficher's Lovebird's bright red-yellow-green wings flaring out as he launched himself at the teen.

Jason grunted as Dick slammed into him but managed to keep his grip steady.

"Hurry up and get ready," Jason said. The cardinal shifted, folding his bright crimson wings against his back as Dick tucked his face into Jason's neck, "B said he's gonna take up to the zoo."

"Zoo! I wanna go to the zoo!" Dick's head shot up as he clutched Jason's shirt.

"I know, Dickie," Jason rolled his eyes fondly, "that's why we're going."

"Okay!" the fledgling chirped, "Tim!"

"Yes?" He lifted his head from the pillow with a slow and tired blink. What he'd give to have Kon here right now.

"Get! Up!" Dick demanded. Jason, the traitor, just laughed. "Or else I'll tell Dami to come get you!"

The falcon hummed, waiting until his brothers disappeared from the doorframe before flipping over and shoving his face back into the pillow.

Everything ached, his back especially, and it wasn't because of Kon, okay, Jason? Tim had been fighting Killer Croc last night, and that bastard got lucky and slammed Tim against a brick wall. His right arm was a huge-ass bruise, and he was not excited to get up.

Maybe if he pretended to be dead, Damian would leave him be...

Who is he kidding? If the harpy eagle was willing to drag a pit-crazed Tim from the brink of suicide, then he was more than willing to dunk Tim in the pits.

Just as he was about to doze off, there was a knock on the doorframe.

"What?" Tim -whined- groaned, not bothering to lift his head from the pillow.

"Hey, Ducky," an amused voice called.

He pouted, turning his head to glare balefully at Duke. The mourning dove smiles, lifting a brow in amusement. Traitor.

"Leave me alone, Duke," Tim grumbled, thankful that Alfred had all the pillows and sheets in Tim's room reinforced since the last time he had a Pit-episode... It had been a whole thing...

Duke raised another eyebrow, mimicking Alfred's patented Disappointed Stare™ quite successfully. Tim doesn't doubt that, at this point, Duke could get even Damian to bend to his will.

And just like Alfred's own stares, Tim, frustratingly, folded under pressure.

For fuck's sake- he was supposed to Wraith, the dead spirit of the Bat's second Shadow revived and out to hunt ne'er do wells as well as the Bats themselves- his goddamn reputation!

"What reputation, Tim?" Duke laughed before strolling over and yanking the covers off of him.

God, Tim hates it when he says things out loud. A side effect of being locked away by Ra's in an attempt to break his spirit or whatever.

He grumbled as Duke hauled him up and out of bed. Annoyingly, the Lazarus pits healed his shitty eyes, that one scar he got from following Shadow around, and the gash in his throat, but not his fucking height. Instead, Tim has to be stuck in this measly five-foot-seven-inch body, while Duke, Bruce, and Damian all got to be fucking six-foot-plus behemoths.

A shake snapped Tim out of his misery.

"Did you even hear what I said?" Duke asked incredulously.

"No," Tim huffed, "I was distracted and decided not to listen to your stupid voice saying stupid stuff."

"Says that one in air jail," Duke replied smugly. Shit, he's right. That fucker. "Tim, I can practically hear you cussing me out. Keep doing this, and I'll have Bruce and Damian hide your coffees and Red Bulls."

"W-"

"And your monsters."

Tim gasped, "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me. Now go get ready. We leave in an hour, and you don't even have a shirt on, Tim."

"It's a fashion choice," he hissed, "you wouldn't understand because you're stupid!"

Duke sighed, plopping Tim onto the floor. He wasn't even surprised when the falcon went boneless, turning into a limp pile of loose limbs and angry hissing, "You're such a child, Ducky."

"This is because I'm gay, isn't it!" Tim demanded, snapping to his feet and flaring out his wings, "This is homophobia!"

"Of course, it is," Duke drily responded before he turned and made for the door, "I'll send Damian up in ten minutes. If you haven't gotten ready by then, I'm allowing him to dress you however he likes."

Duke closed the door gently, but he might as well have slammed it from how ruffled it left him.

Honestly, the gall! How has he, Wraith, Ra's desired heir to the fucking Damon's Fang, fallen so far from his formidable glory?

Nevertheless, Tim forced himself to get ready. He brushed his teeth and washed his face- even "Serial Killers" need clear skin, but was killing fifteen of Black Mask's and the Joker's most trusted really considered killing? Bruce was just overreacting!- and then threw on a short-sleeved shirt, hoodie over that, washed-out ripped jeans, and called it a day.

Tim groaned, desperately craving coffee, caffeine, or something to stave off the complete and utter exhaustion pooling in his head. This was terrible, horrible, and a vile thing to do.

"Timothy," Damian said from where he stood at the table, a plate held in the eagle's hands. He was wearing a bright pink apron covered with flour, and Jason was behind him, wearing a matching pink apron and holding a plate, too. "You finally decided to show your face and detach yourself from that hovel."

"If you want, I could always go back to my so-called Hovel," Tim tilted his head in a challenge.

"Tt," Damian scoffed before sliding a plate to Tim's spot, "Seeing as you have already decided to show your face, and Richard somehow tolerates you, it would be more efficient if you remain here."

Dick was already seated with a glass of strawberry milk, and his pancakes were half-finished and absolutely drowning in maple syrup. Bruce was directly across from Dick, and his pancakes were far more respectable with butter, syrup, bacon, and a cup of coffee. Duke was beside Dick, and he had a plate with fresh fruit, powdered sugar, and a glass of orange juice. Alfred sat at the head of the table with his English breakfast, tea, and a proud smile. Cass was next to Bruce with a bowl of fruit, orange juice, toast, and multiple slices of stolen bacon.

Hesitantly, Tim sat down at the end of the table as Jason rushed over to fill the empty chair between Tim and Duke. Damian, the bull-headed son of a bitch -that bitch being Bruce, because Tim would never call Talia a bitch- decided the best seat wasn't going to be next to Cass, but instead the seat directly in front of Tim. Not in front of Jason, but in front of Tim.

Instead of confronting his feelings like a well-adjusted member of society should, Tim decided the best course of action was to examine his plate of pancakes.

It had fudge drizzled over the top, dusted lightly with powdered sugar, and freshly diced strawberries were placed like a crown with their leaves carefully removed and tossed in a barely noticeable syrup. There was a small bowl of strawberry-lemon zest jam on the edge of Tim's plate, and he could tell that whoever positioned it was diligent. Not a single speck of powdered sugar got onto the outside of the tiny bowl...

Every part of this plate looked like it had been prepared in a five-star restaurant. What more was that this was exactly the same kind of pancakes Damian would make for him as an apology back when Tim was Shadow...

Suddenly, his eyes were beginning to sting, and Tim could feel Damian's stare carve holes into the top of his head. And then, Damian slid over a cup of steaming coffee, and just by looking at it, he knew Damian had made it the way Tim loved.

It was a declaration, an apology, and a promise all wrapped in a simple breakfast…

He took a deep breath and cut into his pancakes, forcing himself to hold back tears as his family chattered around him.

Even after everything that has happened, his flock still accepted him.

Even after everything, Tim was still loved.

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ectomoog · 4 months

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How to Get Your Friends into Doctor Who (2005) - A Guide

Ok I really like Doctor Who, and of course I like introducing people to it, but oh my god do you forget how randomly terrible and/or cringy and/or uncomfortably Moffat-esque some of the episodes are, *especially* when you're watching it with someone who has no idea what to expect.

SO I made a list of ten episodes that I think would be the best loose sequence of episodes for a causal introduction to the show...

But first, some requirements:

It has to be a one-off (NO TWO-PARTERS), low commitment, etc

It can't require watching previous OR following episodes to be enjoyable

It needs to actually be good

It needs to represent Doctor Who well

In a social setting where you're showing a group of people an episode, most of these would be fine. Watching consistently with one person however, loosely follow this order, and if your person decides at any point that they want to commit to actually watching the show, skip straight back to The End of The World and watch Series 1. Ok list time...

1. Rose (S1, E01)

I think Rose is the perfect episode of Doctor Who to start on. It's campy, it's fun and weird and it sets up almost everything you need to know for the Revival Era. You get the companion, the Doctor, regular Doctor Who tropes and themes, etc. Plus, if they can't get past the Mickey bin scene, this show probably isn't for them anyway.

2. Dalek (S1, E06)

Skipping a few episodes into Series 1, Dalek is a great way to get a feel for the format of the show, and also a great and intentional introduction to the Daleks. The Doctor and the companion turn up in a mysterious place and have to battle an alien force and really unlikeable one-off side characters, the works basically. It's a fun monster-movie of an episode.

3. Vincent and The Doctor (S5,E10)

Jumping a whole five series forward, Vincent and The Doctor is a notoriously heart-wrenching historical that I think is a classic (if a little indulgent) example of Doctor-meets-famous-historical-figure. It's nice to jump to a different Doctor and a different era of the show, to get a feel for its' diversity. Although there's a few moments relevant to the greater series plot, it's contained, very pretty, very sweet, and easy to understand.

4. Midnight (S4, E10)

Midnight just feels like an essential episode to be honest. A fantastic one-off sci-fi horror/thriller, with one of David Tennant's best performances, a great introduction to the 10th Doctor. It's a shame you don't get more Donna, but I think this one would be my go-to if someone asked for the best episode to watch stand-alone, just based on how genuinely great it is.

5. Heaven Sent (S9, E11)

Jumping to Series 9 with another critically-acclaimed episode, but also one that I think is an amazing introduction to the 12th Doctor. Heaven Sent is a little unconventional, and I'm not 100% sure it should be here, but it does give Capaldi a whole episode to just act his ass off, and he completely delivers. It's artsy, mysterious and dramatic, very much the high concept sci-fi style of Moffat's later scripts, so I think an appropriate watch.

6. The Voyage of The Damned (2007 Special)

If you're not in a festive mood, try The Lodger or Demons of the Punjab instead

The Christmas episodes are too iconic not to show, and as far as Christmassy vibes, celebrity cameos and whimsical concepts go, this one is a fun one. This is David Tennant in his prime, with Kylie Minogue, a massive budget and a romp of a script.

6. Blink (S3, E10)

I mean, duh, but genuinely I think Blink is just *too good* not to include. A tense, creepy, tightly-written piece of horror TV with twists and turns and drama, it's considered the best episode of Doctor Who for a reason, and along with Midnight is an amazing stand-alone episode. It's not super conventional, but all the timey-wimey stuff is very Doctor Who.

6. The Mummy on The Orient Express (S8, E08)

If you're a Tennant stan you could swap this out for The Planet of the Dead

This one is just a fun one really. The Mummy on The Orient Express is stylish and fun, with a cool concept and a little peek into a more complex Doctor-companion relationship. With a short explanation you can get the context pretty easily, and it's a good example of your typical episode anyway.

HOWEVER if you have time, there's a bunch of two-parters you should watch instead, like The Family of Blood, The Empty Child, Silence in the Library, even Extremis.

9. The Haunting of Villa Diodati (S12, E10)

Finally some 13th Doctor rep! This one has some of the strongest writing in the Chibnall era, and is a fun horror mystery that serves as a fun introduction to Jodie Whittaker as the 13th Doctor. It has a little bit of series-wide arc, but that's okay.

10. The Church on Ruby Road (2023 Special 4)

If your person liked all those episodes but still doesn't want to watch 13 seasons of TV, just abandon ship and watch the 2023 Christmas special in preparation for Series 14 (or Season 1) in Spring 2024. The Church on Ruby Road is the beginning of the latest soft reboot of the show and has been explicitly created as a jumping on point for new fans. Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson absolutely shine in this special, it's fun and silly and in my opinion bodes very well for the next season of Doctor Who...

"in 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important" - Bannakaffalatta

I hope that was a success! After all those episodes hopefully you either had a good time with whoever you were watching it with, or you've already moved onto Series 1! I'll be trying this out the best I can with my girlfriend this year, so look out, because I may be back with adjustments later...

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precedex-files · 3 months

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@xxsksxxx commented the above.

I don’t disagree with it, despite my position that “Existence” would have been an ideal end to the original Mulder and Scully storyline. I think that as long as Mulder and Scully are alive they are always out there looking for the truth. But part of that is also recruiting others on that quest. Mulder does that to Scully during the series, and together they get Skinner invested. By the end they pass the torch to Doggett and Reyes. The Apollo 11 keychain is symbolic of this and the fact that no one gets there alone. Mulder gifts it to Scully, who in turn passes it to Doggett. (As an aside, I thought it was weird for Doggett to give it to Leyla Harrison so quickly, but I realize that by doing this they are giving the Apollo 11 keychain to us, the audience. That we are part of the team that made the show a success.)

I don’t see the rather simple and domestic ending of “Existence” as mutually exclusive from the search for the truth. I see it as a resting point for our weary heroes, who certainly deserve it. We all know that Mulder can’t ever give up and that Scully will always choose to follow. Besides, the darkness does have a way of finding them. So whatever new conspiracy needs uncovering they will always be ready to jump in and help down the line. All the stuff that happened post-Existence could still happen. William could still be under threat, alien super soldiers could still need stopping, colonization could still be thwarted, they could still hunt down pedo-Priests and human medical experiments, all of the revival could still bring them back to the FBI. Existence would just have been a good, clear demarcation of Mulder and Scully stepping aside for a little while. Also it is heavily implied by the ending that the real truth to be found in everything is love - of family, both the ones we are born into and the ones we choose.

I liken this all to what they did in the most recent Doctor Who. David Tennant’s bi-generation into himself and Ncuti Gatwa’s 15th Doctor effectively passes the torch on to Gatwa. DT goes on to live an idyllic life with Donna, which he deserves. But we all know that the Doctor would never shy away from where ever he or she is needed. So when the time comes and it is necessary (for ratings lol) to pull DT’s Doctor from that life, you know the Doctor will answer the call. And so will Mulder and Scully.

#the x files #x files #fox mulder #dana scully #mulder and scully #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor

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incorrectcreepypastafam · 3 months

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Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

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mybeingthere · 6 months

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JAN C SCHLEGEL -

OF ALIENS, MERMAIDS AND MEDUSAS

Platinum Prints, limited edition of 5 in the size of 56x76cm (Arches Platinum Rag).

A folio of 12 plates (plus cover page) is available as limited edition of 3

The series „of Aliens, Mermaids and Medusas" was inspired by imagination itself.

Today it seems as if its influence on people is losing its power because we begin to forget or stop noticing how imagination can change our lives. It is the way people approach all kinds of problems with creativity.

We live in a time of crisis when everything in the world has been turned upside down by global warming, ocean pollution, the coronavirus pandemic, and wars (just to mention a few). We have to deal with everyday problems, and this is quite difficult in a state of anxiety. In addition, we are attacked by negative news, and in this information noise, the voice of our imagination that helps us to cope mentally is drowned out.

We do not mean an escape from reality to completely lose touch with it, but a deeper dive into your inner world, where the answers to all questions lie. The ability to imagine, to think outside the box, encourages us to change for the better.

How long ago have you been peering into quirky, chaotic at first glance patterns to discern unusual images in them? How long ago have you laid with a friend on the grass, looking up at the sky and saying, "That cloud looks like a jumping tiger!"? Jan C Schlegel's series of photographs will help you revive your imagination. Just take a closer look at the most primitive, yet incredibly complex creatures: jellyfish.

Jellyfish appeared long before the dinosaurs. They inhabited the ocean 500-700 million years ago, at the dawn of life on Earth. They have no blood, bones or brain, but thanks to evolution, these organisms have developed very cunning methods of adaptation, some secrets of which scientists have not yet managed to unravel. Bizarre camouflage is the most understandable means of adaptation. But there are many unsolved mysteries. Why would a sea creature without a brain need eyes? How can some individuals transform from adult jellyfish to polyps without any limitations, thereby repeating the life cycle and providing themselves with actual immortality?

To date, scientists have described nearly 3,200 species of jellyfish, and the number is only growing every year. The in-depth study of jellyfish has made it possible to advance in solving the ecological problem of plastic emissions into the ocean. Geneticists are grappling with the question of immortality and suggest that the very same immortal jellyfish will help them get a little closer to answering this important question.

It was these amazing, little-studied creatures that attracted the attention of Jan C Schlegel, and he has attempted to show them from a different perspective. The project was photographed in Germany, at the artist’s house, and the Two Oceans Aquarium in Cape Town, South Africa.

The jellyfish placed in large aquariums moved chaotically, and their movements were meditative and calming. These are the moments when the magic of the imagination happens. The relaxed mind is attuned to observation. The smooth movements of the jellyfish seemed to show some pictures, and Jan only had to follow them and catch the moment.

Each person has their own unique experience, so we guess you'll see something of your own. You can look at the jellyfish silhouette as a whole or you can gaze at a particular element. You can focus on the pattern of the tentacles or the unusual fibers that make up the jellyfish's pileus. All of Jan's photos are chosen so that with a little effort you can see something really unexpected. Just take a closer look.

Let's consider one example that might help you engage your imagination at Jan C Schlegel's series. The box jellyfish, considered one of the most dangerous creatures on Earth, has another name: the sea wasp. Its venom can kill an adult in a few minutes if the victim is not treated in time. And yet in the photo from the series „of Aliens, Mermaids and Medusas“ she appears in a slightly different guise, more peaceful. The pattern of her head resembles the gaze of an elephant. As soon as you notice this look, your imagination will add the recognizable elephant skin texture and it will be very hard to get rid of this image, it will stay in your memory for a long time.

There is no point in telling what Jan l saw in all these amazing creatures. We'll just ask a few guiding questions to stimulate your imagination. Could you see a single jellyfish as a forest on a lonely planet? Would you have thought of the idea that a close friendship might develop between a jellyfish and a fish? Or maybe some picture reminded you of your childhood fears when you didn't want to get out from under the covers, being afraid of the monster under the bed? Would you find a woman's profile in one of Jan C Schlegel's works? As you look at the dancing tentacles, will you hear a melody dear to your heart?

The Series is dedicated to Ksenia Chapkayeva who also wrote this introduction. Her inspiration, encouragement and support were vital to see the series realized.

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jazziejax · 10 months

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Beloved Arachnid

Being raised by your grandparents was basically like growing up alone. Especially in such a capitalistic city where they were only focused on making the rich stay rich and the poor get poorer. Where the people that were supposed to love you only focused on how much further they could climb the social ladder and gain more. And Honey was tired of conforming to a life she did not enjoy.

And since she had no one there for her when she needed it, she made it her mission to be there for all. Animals, children, old people, she took on a lot of responsibility in hopes of making the people around her, better.

All of the inner city people knew who Honey was. Brooklyn, Harlem, Bronx, and Queens. She helped kids study, played games with them, helped elders run errands and helped out at local shelters and food drives. She even opened her own organization to look after children when their parents were at work. She was loved immensely by lots of people and her beauty was just a bonus.

And the love she received from those communities almost made up for the love that was absent in her home. Almost.

Because when she went home, she had to deal with the constant nitpicking from her grandmother about her academic achievements, her talents, her looks. And her grandfather was never there since he was always working for the next evolutionary breakthrough in science. So when she couldn’t do what she loved, taking care of those in need, she placed her focus elsewhere.

At the top of her grandparents penthouse, was an old greenhouse full of dead plants. That’s where she spent lots of her time trying to revive the tattered, see-though dome into a colorful place full of plant life. And with a little elbow grease, a random cat and her family’s money, she turned the place into a home away from home. A home away from home, where she got bitten by a radioactive spider and developed powers overnight.

And with this new power, she took her caring nature to a whole new level and became the city’s one and only Spider person. Thats not true. New York already had a spider vigilante by the named Scarlet-Web. So Honey just stuck to her regular duties with helping those communities in need on a deeper level.

She grew older, helping fight crime every now and then. Everything was as normal as it could be in her life. As normal as it could be considering she was the heir to millions of dollars and forced to go to school to become a scientist. So, yeah, pretty normal.

Normal until a group people walked through a portal and told her she was a royal alien.

Note- I’m gonna be writing this over here and over on Wattpad! Tgis is the prologue of my series Beloved Arachnid!!! I’ve been seeing so many spider verse fics and some are good but I need more ‘x black reader’ fics because Black Girls need love too! This is a rough draft because I don’t really know what kind of a direction I want to go in yet but…yeah.

#across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spider gwen #spiderman #hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #across the spider verse spoilers #gwen stacy #miles morales #hobie my beloved #hobie spiderverse #hobie x black!reader #hobie x you #hobie x y/n #hobie brown x black reader #hobie x reader #daniel kaluuya

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markrosewater · 7 months

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I'm not a UB fan anyway, so my opinion may not hold any weight, but I feel like it robs some properties (Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, Toho/Godzilla, Final Fantasy) of having their own dedicated games, and can also alienate fans of those franchises when aspects they despise are included over ones they love. I'm a huge fan of classic series Doctor Who, and the first few years of the revival (for the most part), but there are aspects you included that helped ruin the show for me, and that entirely turned me off to even considering the product. If it had its own game with a more expensive selection, I could just ignore/throw out those particular cards, but as it is, I just want nothing to do with it.

Magic is, by definition, a game where you get choose which pieces you play with. Use the elements of the show you like and ignore the ones you don’t.

Us making Universe Beyond sets means you get to play a property you love in a game you hopefully also love. It’s not taking anything away from you. If companies want to make another game with their property they can. We’re just making Magic cards with it.

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air--so--sweet · 2 months

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Okay I already made one post about Klaus's rehab 'accessories' sold as part of a TUA prop auction and there's a lot of cool stuff but I can't post about everything, as much as I would like to, but there's one more thing I thought was worth singling out, Reginald Hargreeve's journal from season 2.

Transcription:

I have finally arrived at my destination. The journey was lengthy and arduous, far more taxing than any of my expeditions back home. Few of my fellows were prepared for the physical and emotional demands of the trip. The close quarters, the strict rations, the seemingly nonexistent passage of time. One could easily succumb to insanity or death in such a fate. I carry Abigail in my heart, her tenacious spirit and altruistic nature. She would not allow me to stay behind and perish with her, and in turn I will not allow her to die with me.

It took a ludicrously short span of time to determine my new home is a filthy, foolish and depraved place. I find it hardly worthy of saving, despite my commitment to doing so. Why should I have abandoned my Abigail for the sake of countless souls, not one of which could even hope to match her selfless grace? But I know she would admonish me for these thoughts, and tell me to recognise the value in all who reside in this despondent place.

It will take decades to see my plan to fruition. I enacted the very first step prior to embarking on my journey and now I can do little more than await the date of its engenderment. In the meantime I will commence building an identity, empire and legacy in my own right. My singular priority in the years to come is to ensure access to the resources (both material and intangible) to successfully implement the final phase. I am resolved to make Abigail proud.

There's so much interesting stuff in here. Firstly the implication that Reginald Hargreeves is not the only one from his planet on Earth. I don't think we'll learn anything about or see the other aliens, but I do wonder what they were getting up to while Reggie was doing his thing. Honestly I think it wpuld be funny for a throwaway allusion to some of them being certain public figures.

He knew before he came to Earth it needed saving. It's unclear from phrasing if he chose to do this or was tasked with it. And why him and seemingly only him if he was not the only one to travel to Earth? Or was the plan always save the world and then use hotel oblivion and the 7 bells to remake it with Abigail by his side? In season 1, having failed, did he choose to kill himself to reunite the academy to at least complete one part of his plan, having failed at the rest? A last ditch attempt to honour Abigail's memory? Hotel Oblivion was more or less off the table as soon as Ben died (which in a way makes ut funnier Klaus frequented Hotel Obsidian when he was on the streets, it literally just became a hotel and nothing more 😂).

That brings me onto the next thing - his love for Abigail. This is the most affection we've ever seen from Hargreeves I think (and the least creepy since the closest example I can think of was him creating a robot mother in his ex-girlfriend's likeness). Though saying he doesn't see why he should abandon her to save all life on earth is a tiny bit concerning. His description of Abigail as altruistic and saying that she would admonish him for not seeing the value in the lives of humans is definitely interesting (also I cant help but feel the choice of saying 'selfless grace' over 'selfness nature' or similar was intentional, not that it means anything, just a fun play on words). I saw a theory forever ago (I believe on reddit but I'm not sure, if I find it I'll edit and add credit) that in season 4 Abigail will leave Reginald when she learns what he did to bring her back and the way he describes her here it doesn't sound like she would be okay with the cruel and abusive treatment of his children followed by him sucking them of their powers and seemingly life force to revive her (though the fact Luther is alive it's possible he planned to reincarnate all of them in the new universe but y'know, maybe make Allison aware so she doesn't chop your head in half before you fully finish building your new universe). The Reginald who wrote this journal entry bears hallmarks of the one we knew, but he seems to have been somewhat tempered by Abigail. Did the decades without her cause a hardening that led to the cold, cruel and abusive man he became? A man Abigail will no longer recognise as the man she fell in love with? Based on this it doesn't seem unlikely but, as far as I recall, these entries are never seen on screen so I don't think we can really count them as canon, especially not knowing who wrote them (I suspect it was someone on the writing staff but we don't know that for certain). However, I vaguely remember seeing a few claims of a new big bad several places, I think people may have sourced this from an interview with Steve Blackman (I intentionally avoid interviews with him because he gives far too much away) which, if the main villain of the piece is not in fact Hargreeves, Abigail, the love of his life and his whole reason for his lifes work leaving him, feels like a pretty good catalyst for him to give up, and possibly even yield to anything the Umbrellas ask of him or maybe even help them?

And lastly, when writing this I couldn't help but think how Reginald's loss of Abigail mirrors several of the Umbrella's own losses. His deal with Allison involved getting Ray and her daughter back and there's been a lot of people wondering if Dave, Sissy, Harlan or even Patch could be alive in this new universe. Allison's words to Viktor before pressing the button, 'Trust me,' and the fact we didn't see her make the deal with Reginald (beyond the handshake Five saw through the doorway) has made me wonder if it didn't just involve her getting to be reunited with her lost loved ones but her siblings too (though my housemate suggested the alternative idea that she made a deal for herself and Viktor only, as he is the only other Umbrella to lose a romantic partner and child, a loss Allison is partially responsible for, having killed adult Harlan, and he's also the sibling Allison was cruelest to in season 3). Would Hargreeves have agreed to the terms of any deal if it meant getting his way? Yeah probably, but I also feel like he might have been more willing to agree to Allison's terms if they involved reuniting her and her siblings with the people they loved who they had to leave for reasons outside of their control (Ray, Sissy and Harlan) or they lost to death (Dave, Harlan (again) and Patch, and in a sense Claire). I feel like I'm giving Hargreeves too much credit but at the same time there's moments in the show that could be interpreted as him caring for the Umbrellas and I do believe he cared for human Grace and Pogo too so it's not impossible that he's capable of empathy, at least at times where it wouldn't negatively impact him or stop him from doing what he believes is right (though just to be clear - any care or love he felt does not in any way absolve him of the cruelty and abuse he subjected his children to or the fact he subjected Pogo to a life of servitude either).

It's just occurred to me that there's the whole additional layer in regards the apocalypse that Reginald was aware of it and wanted to avert it yet he was the cause of it as without his interference the Umbrellas (and other super powered children) would never have been born, never mind his treatment of them, especially Viktor, leading to them growing into the adults they were that led to their actions causing the apocalypse. I've already spent several hours and a tonne of hyperfocus writing this though when I have other real world stuff to do so I'm going to leave it here.

#the umbrella academy #tua #reginald hargreeves #props #prop auction #reginald hargreeves journal

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justahumblememefarmer · 4 months

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Ultimate Doctor Who Poll Round 2 - Matchup 17

Episode Summaries under the cut

10: The End of Time Part One/Two - 2009 Christmas/New Years Special: The Doctor is summoned by the Ood, who give him a vision of the Master returning and the End of Time. The Doctor rushes to the TARDIS to get to the past, but is too late as a ritual is completed to revive the Master, which destroys the building in the process. When the Doctor lands he is found by Wilfred Mott, his former companion Donna's grandfather. They chat, but the Doctor goes off to find the Master, and searches his mind for the sound of drums beating, which has driven him to insanity. He's gleeful to discover that the sound is real, but is soon captured by a billionaire's men and taken back to his mansion. The Doctor and Wilf follow in the TARDIS.

The billionaire has the Master work on a medical device that he believes can bring immortality. The Doctor discovers two aliens that were the original owners of the device working in secret at the mansion. They share that the device actually heals whole planets at a time by distributing a healthy genetic template across an entire population. The Doctor runs to stop the Master, but he has already escaped and entered the device, transmitting a signal to turn every human on the planet into himself. The Doctor is able to protect Wilf from this.

Elsewhere, the Time Lords of Gallifrey are working to stop the Time War by implanting a signal in the Masters head as a child, the drum beats. They send a diamond to Earth in order to make the link physical. The Doctor is rescued by the aliens from before, who teleport themselves, the Doctor, and Wilf to their ship in Earth's orbit. The Master, and all his clones, use their combined focus on the drumbeats, allowing the diamond to come through. The Master gloats about this and the Doctor realizes he plans to bring the Time Lords back.

He flies the ship down to Earth, he crashes into the room where the Master has brought back the heads of the Time Lord council. Lord President Rassilon reverses the Master's transformation of all of the humans, and begins to summon Gallifrey into space next to the Earth, which the Doctor warns will bring all the horrors of war with it. Wilf returns to the Doctor and rescues a worker trapped in a control booth, trapping himself in the process. Rassilon also reveals his plan to destroy time itself, allowing Time Lords to ascend to a state of higher consciousness.

The Doctor shoots the machine creating a link, sending the Time Lords back to the war. Rassilon aims to kill the Doctor, but the Master gets in the way, attacking Rassilon and going back to Gallifrey with them. The Doctor is surprised to be alive, after a prophecy he'd received said his death would be after "he will knock 4 times" which he'd assumed was about the drum beats in the Master's head. As he lies there, relieved, Wilf knocks on the door of the control room 4 times. The Doctor realizes it is about to flood with radiation, which would kill Wilf. The only way to save him is to take on the radiation himself. He laments losing his life to save his friend, but does it, which kickstarts his regeneration.

The Doctor goes on a tour visiting his former companions. He saves Martha Jones and Mickey Smith from a Sontaran. He saves Sarah Jane Smith's son Luke from getting hit by a car. He sets up Captain Jack Harkness with another man. He visits a book signing of the great-granddaughter of a woman he fell in love with when he turned himself human. He shows up at Donna's wedding, where he leaves a lottery ticket as a present for her. He finally stops at Rose's flat, on New Year's Day before she first met him. He then walks to his TARDIS and regenerates.

138: Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks - Season 3, Episodes 4 & 5: The Doctor and Martha land in 1930's New York City, where people from a homeless encampment have been going missing. Meanwhile construction of the Empire State Building is being overseen by Daleks from a Dalek cult the Doctor had encountered before. The Doctor discovers that the Daleks have been experimenting on humans. Those they deem to be low-intelligence are turned into slaves mixed with pig dna. Those with high-intelligence are selected to be turned into Dalek-Human hybrids.

The leader of the cult agrees to turn himself into a hybrid to test the experiment. His newfound humanity makes him believe that the Daleks can change their ways and he asks for the Daleks help in creating the hybrids with even more humanity. The other full Daleks turn on him and a fight breaks out between them and their experiments. The hybrid Dalek and all their experiments are killed, as well as 2 of the three full Daleks. The last Dalek escapes using an emergency temporal shift.

(Beat 119: Orphan 55 in Round 1)

#doctor who #ultimate doctor who poll #my post #polls #10th doctor #wilfred mott #donna noble #the master #martha jones #david tennant #bernard cribbings #catherine tate #jon simms #freema agyeman #the end of time #daleks in manhattan #evolution of the daleks

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iheartpeppino · 1 month

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Okay, so here are my thoughts on Peddito and The Doise in light of The Noise Update: (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!)

The Doise and Peddito are alien beings from another dimension. They're direct counterparts to The Noise and Peppino. In every known universe/dimension/timeline, there is a Noise and a Peppino of some sort, and they're always linked to each other somehow.

Peddito is normally benign, even friendly. But when he gets angry, his rage consumes him, turning him into an eyeless, floating killing machine who destroys anyone who gets in his way, until he finally kills whoever or whatever pissed him off to begin with, normally by snapping their neck.

Unfortunately, Peddito is very easy to anger, especially when you're The Doise. Not only is The Doise just as annoying as The Noise, he has been known to purposefully anger Peddito in order to use his immense killing power as a weapon. His most common method is to cross out Peddito's face in a picture he has of the two of them standing together and smiling. No matter how far away Peddito is, he always knows when his face has been crossed out, like a sixth sense, and he'll travel across entire dimensions to try and kill The Doise.

The thing is, Peddito and The Doise are supposed to be friends. To Peddito, having his face crossed out means The Doise doesn't consider him a friend anymore, and Peddito doesn't take that kind of blatant disrespect well in the slightest.

When Peddito kills The Doise in The Noise Update, The Doise had crossed out Peddito's face prior to his battle with The Noise. The Doise had been hoping that in case he lost, The Noise would end up directly in Peddito's path when he finally arrived. Only... Peddito was so pissed at The Doise for the umpteenth time that he made a direct beeline for his former friend and murdered him on sight, completely avoiding The Noise.

Now, despite how it may appear, The Doise isn't permanently dead. Taunting at his gate three times will bring him back to life for a rematch. Why? It may sound bizarre, but death is never final for any version of The Noise. In The Doise's case, every cell in his body is an individual organism, all working together as a hivemind. If The Doise dies, his cells will grow a new body for him, splitting from the old one. It usually takes a long time, but the process can be sped up instantly if The Doise's cells are allowed to feed off of someone else's "annoyance energy"... like The Noise performing multiple taunts.

Peddito is very aware that The Doise won't stay dead. Currently, he's still angry at him, hiding in the shadows and waiting for him to revive so he can kill him again. This endless cycle of death and rebirth will only cease if The Doise apologizes... and even then, that's not a sure thing. Peddito has been wronged by The Doise so many times that forgiveness may not come easy...

#pizza tower #fan theory #peddito #the doise #the noise #the noise update #spoilers #pizza tower spoilers #headcanons #long post is long

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aggressively-crying · 5 months

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I think we should find a way to get Joel vinesauce to play fossil fighters. Not just because it would cause another revival of the fandom (thank you jaidenAnimations), but because I genuinely think it's like tailor made for him.

-hes Mr skeleton metal and it's a game about digging up bones

-every time he plays Pokemon he stays firmly in the camp of attacking moves only, status moves are for nerds. Most of the status effect moves in ff are damage dealing anyway, and stat fuckery is done passively by just sticking your guys in the right spot, which, as someone who also usually plays pokemon like a ten year old, feels a lot less like youre wasting your turn.

-most of the dino designs are either Huge Badass, Ugly Little Freak (affectionate), or little tiny boingyboof

-it would be extremely funny to watch him yell at the game when he inevitably fucks up cleaning a fossil

-there are aliens happening

And, lastly...

LIDL ass dinosaur

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

#joel vinesauce #fossil fighters

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catholic-character-tournament · 11 months

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Round 1 - Side B

John Gaius art cred @exmakina

Propaganda below ⬇️

book quote from the chapters where he's relating how he got necromantic powers and people freaked out!! this is pre-apocalypse and resurrection so it's implied he took a lot of inspiration from this incident . He said, Then we took off. Thread after thread on message board after message board. People wanting proof. People asking what the fuck it meant. People talking about the LUCIFER telescope and saying we were aliens. People calling me the Antichrist, which was a trip. People writing up these long posts on how the trick was done, how I got the meat into the pie. Was I fake? Was I real? If I was real, what did it mean? Suddenly there were hundreds of people, all there at our front door. They came in caravans, they were sleeping in their cars or putting up tents. A hell of a lot of them had flown out internationally. He said, Some of them wanted to see the miracle. Some of them wanted my help, like, Oh, you’re the magical death man, can you do something about my body? Can you fix my fibromyalgia? Thing was, I could. That surprised me. I could take out their tumours. I could fix their macular degeneration. Big damage was easy, unless they’d actually lost the limb or whatever. Couldn’t grow those back. But I spent hours and hours a day playing Jesus. That was nice, those were some of the nicest hours I got to spend. He said, But when you’re doing the whole Go, my child, your knee cartilage is fixed, you’re going to get a lot of visitors. I had to turn people away because I had to eat, I had to sleep, even though I didn’t want to. M— had brought in her best friend, the nun, and I was worried I was going to get the Antichrist bit from her too, but she was just like: stop doing this! Read your Bible! This was Christ’s whole problem! I was like, What are you talking about, Jesus cured the lepers and everyone was all, Hooray, thanks man. M—’s nun was all, Are you kidding, Christ never said no and never asked anyone to pay and got way too much attention and brought the heat down on everybody. Christ didn’t keep to office hours, she said. Don’t do that. He said, So we limited Jesus stuff to one hour a day, and I always had to eat breakfast. But by then the whole world was on our doorstep.

look this is kind of weird but he is the only survivor after nuclear bombs destroy the earth and he has weird necromancy powers so he revives his friends and a few other people to be his subjects and basically makes himself a god to them. there's a lot of layers since he's literally the only character in the entire series who remembers the world before and has a concept of the religion he's copying for his own. he treats the other characters like toys he can push around for his own amusement and everything is a joke but he does this world-weary act that somehow gets the reader to kind of feel for him even when he's being atrocious. and he's the only one who remembers memes. which is a torture all of its own.

I said "yes" but to be more clear: he was canonically Catholic when he was still mortal, but that was 10,000 years ago and he kind of killed everybody on the planet. Just slightly. Some of them got better. Now he's the Emperor Undying and his empire is very Catholic-coded.

Frank

He was in training to become a priest and! Fun fact! Is second generation immigrant!

#john gauis #the locked tomb #frank castle #the punisher #cct polls #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #tumblr polls

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mephinomaly · 5 months

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[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 4

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: In the afternoon of the next day

Location: ES TV station, in HELLSING’s, formerly UNDEAD’s, dressing room

Adonis: I wonder what Sakuma-senpai is thinking.

Is this my punishment?

No, it can’t be… Since it’s Sakuma-senpai, there will be some sort of deeper meaning to it.

Koga: Huh?

You think way too highly of that stupid old man. Nothings goin’ on in that head of his.

He does whatever he wants without a thought and then afterwards he makes up some shit ‘n goes “that went all according to plan.” He’s an idiot.

Adonis: You understand Sakuma-senpai very well, Oogami.

Koga: At one point in time, he was all I thought ‘bout, so.

Don’t matter how much I think about a version of him that only exists in my head, it has nothin’ to do with reality.

Adonis: ...

Koga: Anyway. What are we doin’ ‘bout this situation?

Adonis: I’m not sure. Actually, I wanted to discuss that with you.

Yesterday, we came face-to-face with fake versions of ourselves, with HELLSING, at the AIIE testing facilities.

After we explored the facilities, Sakuma-senpai gave us a course of action.

He said “let us turn this misfortune into fortune and take advantage of what is happening.”

Koga: Hmph~, I still think it would be better if we jus’ got ridda HELLSING entirely.

But it’s hard to tell the difference between them and the real ones, so it’ll be pretty hard t’kill them ‘cos it’s like they’ve got a mind of their own.

Adonis: Umu. That is one of the problems with AI.

Should AI, and robots alike, be given human rights?

If we don’t acknowledge this, and only use them as a means to an end, are we not creating a new system of slavery?

Koga: Nn, I don’t like thinkin’ ‘bout complicated shit like that. The HELLSING guys are surprisingly nice, ‘n they follow every command we give ‘em.

Even if they start bad mouthin’ us, we can turn them off with a remote control. They’re just machines.

It’s more of a problem of, is it alright for us t’dispose of them losers for our own convenience. They’re alive— well, they’re not, they’re machines.

Adonis: Do machines have souls?

Koga: I dunno man. But Sakuma-senpai said they might ‘n that's why we can’t get rid of them. We can’t mindlessly throw ‘em out.

Adonis: Sakuma-senpai is a nice person after all.

Koga: Yeah but he’s not a pussy, he’s jus’ sick of messin’ up other people’s lives with his own hand. AI ‘n shit ain’t humans, but, you get my point.

If I was destroyed by the person I loved, I’d want the same.

Adonis: …Anyway, HELLSING began idol activities when we were participating in that experiment and were isolated from the outside world.

And that ‘radical, immoral’ unit received widespread support, especially from long-time fans who expected that side from us.

It seems that Sakuma-senpai is taking full advantage of this situation.

Whilst HELLSING deals with radical, rock band type of activities—

UNDEAD will handle a variety of things that we have been undertaking since ES’ establishment.

It’s important to keep old fans happy whilst simultaneously bringing in new ones. Sakuma-senpai is trying to please both sides without alienating anyone.

With that, he believes that this will lead to our revival.

Koga: He wants t’split us up, divide us into light ‘n dark.

Normally I’d be totally against that…

But now we have handy robots that can act on our behalf.

It’s like they're copy robots. Hm.

Adonis: Copy robots…?

I’m not sure what you mean by that but HELLSING’s utility was proven at today’s live.

Koga: Mhm. When Hasumi-senp—I mean, shitty glasses, tried t’attack us on stage I was thinkin’ what the hell do we do.

There’s not a chance he’d understand our situation right now.

Adonis: It wasn’t exactly an attack per say, Hasumi-senpai was worried.

Koga: Hmph, he’s always been a nosy fucker. He’s like a stray dog or somethin’ that can't bare to be alone.

Adonis: I believe that’s true for a lot of people though.

Koga: Well, whatever. Shitty glasses is a good guy at the end of the day. It’s hard t’believe that there’s robots that look like humans operatin’ behind the scenes.

Until it becomes public knowledge that we’re usin’ AI idols, no one, not even shitty glasses, is gonna notice.

Adonis: Umu. At the moment, it is better for us to keep their existence hidden as if we reveal the truth, we may be subjected to harsh words and lose credibility.

I feel as if we are deceiving fans, which upsets me.

Koga: Yeah, it’s probably better if we tell ‘em.

But not right now. We gotta focus on dealin’ with all the new things HELLSING brings.

That’s why I’m worried ‘bout lettin’ the AIs do whatever they want at the moment. It’s best if us two monitor HELLSING.

Adonis: Yes, then us, along with fake Sakuma-senpai and fake Hakaze-senpai will perform radical, immoral activities at HELLSING.

Whilst real Sakuma-senpai and real Hakaze-senpai take part in variety shows and such with fake me and you as UNDEAD.

Koga: Our AIs are pretty good at what they do, so I ain’t too worried ‘bout them.

They’re doin’ a live broadcast but they’ve gotta act properly when they do a variety show.

Adonis: Yes. I cannot say yet as to whether this decision will turn out to be a good or a bad one—

So far, everything’s been smooth sailing. So much so that it’s scary.

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #adonis otogari #koga oogami #undead climax

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hannawinchester03 · 10 months

Text

IN ANOTHER GALAXY.. Pt 2

Hello! Welcome back! This is a continuation of the events that happened in the first part, saw it got a little attention so wanted to spread my wings and show y’all my real potential.

Anyways, enjoy!

18+ you’ve been warned. 😉

This story contains: small talk, kissing, teasing, breath play, touching, grinding, hair pulling, whining, begging, praise kink, domination, oral reviving, pet names, and just straight up making out (obviously, who wouldn’t want to make out with quill)

Word count: 2,000

After the course of events of last week, (y/n) watching as rocket pulled the aliens heart out of its chest. Listening to quill speak to her about how he can’t believe she can understand groot. She was used to it by now, she’s been around this multiple times, like a dog chasing its own tail, something people find strange but to her perfectly normal.

“Hey (y/n), snap out of it. What's going on with you?” Quill asked as he looked over at (y/n), he raised an eyebrow at her. “You seem not interested..” Quill added as he crossed his arms waiting for a response as he looked her up and down slightly, before looking back up at her eyes.

“Yes, i am fine, Just a lot on my mind.” (y/n) says as she lets out a small huff looking down at herself for a second taking in the fact she had gotten more dressed up then she usually does, she then looks back up at quill, she can't help but show him a small smile to reassure him.

“Still kinda shocked you wanted me as your partner, over say rocket, or gamora..” (y/n) stated as she kept looking up at him, taking in the fact that she now noticed just how much taller he was compared to her, she took a small step back as she let out a small huff once again.

“Well for starters if you noticed, Gamora wants nothing to do with me, she's not the same as she was before..” Quill stated as he shook his head a little and let out a small sign, getting more sad as he really got a chance to think about the situation he is in, he never really felt like this before, even if he did he doesnt remember the last time he did at least.

“You know how Luke felt when Yoda told him the truth about his father. the shock in his face, the way he so desperately wanted to understand but deep down he already knew the truth..” Quill started to say to (y/n) as he looked away from her for a second hoping that she’ll understand the reference.

“The way that he looks at Yoda asking if it's true, the look in his eyes as with pure confusion and curiosity as he realizes that deep down he already knows that it is his father. Thinking about how he feels so out of place and tempted to turn to the darkside to be with his father or to train and be the one who changes the way of the force like his father was supposed to..” (y/n) says as she clears her throat a little and looks down at the floor for a second then looks back up at quill as she hears a chuckle come from him.

“Doesn't help that he finds out leia is his sister, i mean after that kiss and all..” Quill hums out his tone changing as he takes a step closer to (y/n) looking down at her as he licks his lips keeping his eyes down on her. “Well technically Leia kisses Luke to make Han jealous, way before they knew they were siblings.” (Y/n) stated as she looked up at Quill raising an eyebrow at him and noticed how he had gotten closer to her.

“Kinda reminds me of someone i know..” (y/n) says softly as she stepped closer to quill looking up at him standing up on her tippy toes as she wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled herself up closer to him because of the height difference. As she pulled herself closer to him she leaned her head close to his ear. “Kissing Luke to make Han jealous, pulling away just to tease Han watching as Luke had a smug look on his face..” (y/n) whispers into Quill's ear, making him wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer into his chest as he turns his head towards her, looking down at her innocent eyes that are now darker than usual.

“How could he not be jealous? Leia is one of the best characters, pretty hot too..” Quill said softly as he moved one of his hands to push some of (y/n)’s hair behind her ear, he can't help but lick his lips as he kept his eyes locked on hers glancing down at her lips for a split second before looking back into her eyes with a small smirk as he noticed her eyes slowly growing darker with lust as he held her chin between his thumb and index finger feeling her warm breath against his lips from how close they were to each other, feeling her chest as it caved in and out trying to stay calm and collected as he spoke to her.

“Obviously cant forget about how Han towers over leia, talking to her telling her how he knows she likes him, how he tells her “its because there aren't enough scoundrels in her life” the icon scene..ya know..” Quill says in a soft but still deep tone as his thumb lightly traced over her bottom lip teasingly before holding back onto her chin his grip getting slightly more tight on her chin as he pulled her up a little as he leaned down moving his lips closer to hers, using his thumb once again to trace her bottom lip teasingly as it was the only thing keeping their lips separated.

Quill can't help but smile against her in lips as she listened to a small whine come out of her mouth, as he let his hand down kissing her as soon as his hand was out of the way and wrapped his arm around her waist more pulling her up onto her tippy toes more letting her lean on himself for support so she wouldn't fall over, letting her know it was safe with him, he won't let anything harm her.

As Quill kissed (y/n) he couldn't help but let out a small groan as he felt her move one of her hands up to his forearm wrapping her hand around his arm to give herself some more support as she stood up on her tippy toes feeling his strong arm around her waist knowing he wouldn't let her fall as she deepened the kiss using the hand that was still around his neck from when she first took action moving close to him and began to run her hand through the back of his hair as she continued to kiss him.

“Q-Quill, are you sure about this?” (y/n) asked as she lightly pulled on his hair pulling his head away from hers so that they could both breath, as she asked him this she kept her eyes up on him waiting for the response, or anything really all she got was a small groan form her tugging on his hair, she cant help but let out a small chuckle as she was about to speak up but she was quickly interrupted as they heard the ship intercom start to crackle making (y/n) raise and eyebrow as she quickly went to pull away from quill to go see what it was.

Before (y/n) was able to make it a few steps away she quickly got swept up off of her feet, quill picking her up bridal style walking her over his living quarters, as he walked through the door he walked over to his bed gently laying her down, watching as she propped herself up on her elbows staying laid down on the bed but was propped up enough to keep her eyes on him.

“Oh i'm sure, are you though?” Quill asked his voice now much deeper then (y/n) has ever heard his voice get, especially when they are in a heavy battle she always noticed how his voice got more deep from being out of breath but this was different, now she could practically hear the lust in his voice, as she got lost in her own thoughts distracting herself from being able to find her own words all she manages to do is nod lightly at him.

Quill watches as she nods at him making him smirk happily as he walked closer to the bed climbing on top of her slightly still hovering over her since she was small compared to him as he wrapped a arm under her around her waist pulling her up closer towards the pillows as he leaned down kissing her once again this time more rough causing (y/n) to let out a small moan and him to chuckle against her lips.

“God look at you, already moaning and I haven’t barely touched you..” Quill spoke out his voice still growing deep and dominant as he pulled away from the kiss, he began kissing down her jaw and towards her neck taking his time as he used his arm to slowly guide her small body up towards the pillows.

His other hand holding onto her thigh caressing her leg as he used his knees to spread her legs open making room for himself to be between her knees, once he was satisfied with his position he started to grind down against her gently watching as she let out a soft cry of pleasure and threw her head back as he began to kiss back up her neck towards her jaw.

“You like that (y/n)?” He asked in a low growl as he placed kisses along her jaw as her head was still thrown back from him grinding down against her. As he asked her this she looks back up at him and let out a small nod as she wrapped her hand around his neck tangling her hand in his hair again as she began to breathe a little more heavily.

“Y-yes quill..god it feels good..” (y/n) can’t help but moan out as she looked up at him and kissed him again to try and muffle her moans so she wouldn’t sound to annoying.

“Oh no, no, don’t quite yourself baby girl, I wanna hear you..” Quill hums out as he pulled away from the kiss, sitting up on his knees pulling his shirt off tossing it to the side.

After removing his own shirt he smirks happily down at (y/n) as she was watching his every move admiring his chest as his necklace landed perfectly between his two pecks, she kept looking down his chest stopping at his waist band admiring as it was in a v shape going towards his base but quickly looked back up as he pulled her to be seated up.

“We gotta get you undressed first, then we’ll have fun princess.” Quill stated as he grabbed the bottom of her shirt looking into her eyes for a few seconds and saw her give him a small nod making him smile as he pulled off her shirt and made her lay back down.

He kept his eyes down on her as she propped herself up on her elbows watching as the top of her breast peak out of her bra as she breathed, watching as her chest would cave in and come back up as she watched his every moves.

“God you’re beautiful..” quill hummed out as he slid her up on the bed so her head was rested against the pillows as he moved be on his elbows as he began to undo her jeans pulling them off of her, tossing them to the side and moved himself so his head was between her legs.

He began to slowly kiss her inner thigh slowly moving up closer to her heat but would start kissing up her other thigh to tease her as she let out a soft whine, making him chuckle against her.

“Use your words..” quill hummed out against her thigh as he had his hands wrapped around each thigh gently squeezing as he would kiss on her thigh to tease her. As he got to the top of her thigh he gently bit on the lace fabric against her hip but would pull away and chuckle as (y/n) would let out a small huff.

“Please, god quill.” (Y/n) huffed out as she threw her head back, she had been watching him as he kissed on her thighs her eyes locking on his but she was to impatient so she let her head fall back into the pillow’s already tired of his teasing.

“What? Can’t enjoy myself?” Quill spoke out as he finally touched where she needed it most, he teasingly placed a kiss against her clit through the fabric, watching as her hips flinched making his grip on her thighs tighten and hold her in place.

“Ahh I see..” quill hummed teasing to her as he continued to place open mouthed kisses against her heat hearing as small moans came out from her mouth as she threw her back into the pillow more and one of her hands moved to his hair holding onto it as she tried to keep his head in place but he forced his head back to tease her.

“I said use your words princess..” Quill said dominantly as he moved his hands to loop his fingers under her underwear pulling them off of her and tossed them to the side quickly moving back to his spot between her legs, watching as her pussy was completely soaked, making him smirk.

Before she could even say anything in response he licked up her slit humming happily against her as he tasted how sweet she was, he continued to hum against her letting out small vibrations from his humming against her clit making him chuckle against her as she moaned happily.

“There ya go..” Quill spoke out as he felt her gripping onto his hair chuckling softly as he began to lick up her slit cleaning up all of her juices as he gently rubbed his nose against her nub hearing a loud gasp come out of her as she tugged at his hair roughly making him groan against her.

Quill then began to suck on her clit, still humming against her teasingly and whispering softly to her how good she tastes still sending vibrations against her making (y/n) turn into a moaning mess as he continued to chuckle against her finding it amusing at the fact she always seems so annoyed by him but seem to be enjoying herself.

Eventually quill slide his tongue into her as he began to thrust his tongue in and out making (y/n) grip onto his hair more as she cried out his name In please feeling a knot start to form inside her stomach. “G-god quill..” (y/n) moaned out happily as she tightened her grip on his hair pushing his head into her heat more making his tongue go deeper.

“That’s it baby girl, cum for me..” quill hummed out against her as she pushed his head deeper into herself making him thrust his tongue faster inside of her feeling her walls tighten around him and her hips start to buckle making him wrap his arm around her waist and pull her into his face more and used his other hand to rub her sensitive clit listening to her as she moaned loudly in pleasure.

Quill kept his eyes up on (y/n) as her chest as panting heavily and one of her hands were gripping tightly on the bed sheets and the other holding into his hair for dear life as he continued to tongue fuck her and rub her clit feeling as more of her juices start to leak out.

“G-god quill, that feels to good!” (Y/n) cried out as she threw her head back feeling her small body start to quiver underneath him as he continued to rub her clit and suck on her as she was almost ready to cum.

“What feels good?” (Y/n) heard quill say, hearing that his voice was not as deep and raspy as it was before making her raise an eyebrow and snap out of it. Taking a second to look around a little seeing that the two of them were in a field of flowers on the planet they were on searching for a valuable material that was needed for rocket's latest invention.

“Nothing, what’s this thing supposed to look like?” (Y/n) asked as she cleared her throat a little bit trying to figure out why the dream was so vivid or whatever she has just been through.

“Rocket said it’s supposed to look like one of these flowers, but we'll be able to tell the difference supposedly. The ones we need don’t have this pollen stuff on them..” quill stated as he kept walking through the field going straight forward.

“Strange, they all seem to have this stuff. The pollen. Anything special about this stuff?” (Y/n) asked as the pollen seemed to just stay in the air, not even move around in the wind or anything.

“Supposedly it’s supposed to make you hallucinate, or go to sleep, something like that.” Quill stated as he cleared his throat and kept walking so he could find the items they were looking for.

Anyways! Hope y’all enjoyed just wanted to show y’all some of my potential.

Feel free to message me with requests or other suggestions I’m all ears.

Bye, until next time!

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