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#vent text
alpr4zolam · 1 year
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people told me all of my life that i was fat and now they’re like “why don’t you want to eat” “you should accept yourself” etc lol
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weepinglilvessel · 29 days
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Are you doing okay?
…I was gonna lie and be like “oh hell yeah I’m great!!” But I’m not.
I started procrastinating even more on passion projects and drawing in general. I started to hate how I look and worried about my weight (which probably isn’t good cuz I’m eating less :D) and now I’m worried about numbers on a screen and people who block me when I shouldn’t give two clickity fucks cuz I don’t know them personally and it doesn’t affect me physically.
This feeling of shame won’t leave ya know. And I don’t just wanna continue venting cuz I know that’s not what people are here for and I don’t want people having to deal w my bullshit.
So I’m just chilling, listening to my negative thoughts pick away at me. So ya! I’m doing good :3 I probably need to get off of social media for a bit.
2024 is fun guys❤︎︎
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Sorry for the dumb rambling
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i want someone to care for me..
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autisticdreamdrop · 2 years
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rib-rabbitmask · 1 month
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small update/vent:
yesterday (friday) I went to the dentist to adjust my dental braces, and it turned out that I had to have surgery to remove a permanent tooth that could affect my oral hygiene in the future...💥
Everything is fine now, but I'm having to eat "liquid food" (or drinks) and rest because the place where my tooth was removed had to take some "surgical stitches" in order for it to heal faster.
Whatever, i feel so sad and angry about that cuz it looks like universe hates me fr 💀I have a stiches in my gum, i can't eat my favorite snakcs + i have to study because i still have Tests to do this next week + i on my period + I COULN'T DRAW ANYTHING IN TIME FOR UNDERVERSE ANNIVERSARY AAAGHHHHH AHHH! Looks like a Combo of bad luck seriously....
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Anyway, the good thing that i can eat ice-cream now without judgment so i think thats a good point. 🍨💖
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Problably most of you will not read but had to put this anywhere...
Hope you all have a nice week cuz i not- 🥲
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nia1sworld · 5 months
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So I just got less notes:
Why? I feeled ignored and nobody is Liking Rebloging and replying my art, and also SEX BOTS ARE DMING ME!!!!! Please people reblog my art, I drew this and 2 😫!!!! Why does everyone hate me?
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f16dblock60femboidilf · 3 months
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I really wish that whenever you looked up hormonal information, even directly on things like Mayo clinic, you could actually find any information what so ever on testosterone's effects on breasts and how long the effects take on what dosage or anything.
But instead I only find HRT guides for trans women, not even more vague feminizing hormones information, but specifically binary trans women. You can't look up any hormonal information if you don't fit into this narrow group. I'm not displeased that they have resources, though good fucking luck finding any concrete info on progesterone, or anything that's not spiro and E, especially if you have a doctor that hasn't brushed up in 20 years.
But like, there's a jillion reasons why you might need to take hormones, there's plenty of people, like me; that have to take testosterone and estrogen at the same time, and need to strike a careful balance and need to calculate uptake times, figure out our own specific needs and do our own research. My boiwife's dad has to do all his own hormones since he got thyroid cancer!
Strictly because there's no resources for us, we have to become our own endocrinologist, our own lab specialist, dig through so much chaff just to get a smidgeon of reliable data that we can relate to our doctors for our needs.
Like I'd at least expect some basic info on trans guys to give some vague estimates on timelines and levels that effect breasts and voice drops, hormones that cause and prevent hair loss, but nah, nothing comes easy. Everyone has to go fuck themselves. Oh except you can't because there's apparently zero sexual health and wellness studies on queer and intersex people. No sensation? Can't keep it up? Those are "life style" choices, you have to pay out of pocket for your hormones and drugs to treat it, that you had to do your own research on to educate your doctor about!
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rottingnausea · 1 year
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NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
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alpr4zolam · 1 year
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weepinglilvessel · 1 month
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I wanna draw more stuff and animate, put my mental state really is not lightening up :D
I started worrying about numbers again when they really don’t matter, I hate looking at myself more, and I have no idea what to draw despite the ask that I could be doing. The shame feeling isn’t leaving me alone
I’m so tired man…
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justanotherstardrop · 10 months
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daydreaming of being safe
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autisticdreamdrop · 2 years
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When we unmask we make a lot of noises or at least I do.. It slips out sometimes. I forget that when I'm alone I can make these voices. When small lots of noises come out and sometimes I get hyper/semi/nonverbal I can never be myself unless I'm alone :(
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ashesbreadandbutter · 17 days
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Vent #3 - Reminded
I hate being told it gets better, it takes time...
Because when exactly does it get fucking better? And I'll be pissed if I hear another "well things just happen" argument because what did I DO, to have been treated as I have in my life so far. All the actual abusers out here and IM the one catching strays??
There's so many contradictions in this world that I really can't bother to feel better, or wait till whatever God makes it happen.
What have I done to get all this hate and hostility? Even when I was young, a child who knew no better, I still got it in a surplus.
Maybe if I hadn't been born the youngest... Or a fem... Or at all... Things would be better?
I'm tired of waiting, of constantly telling myself it's okay for everything to show me it's not and to the gods I'm mad, tired, and irritated.
Even with how much I love you I feel abandoned and alone at most times and I hate it.
Birthday's are supposed to be fun are they not? So why do I seem to be the only one who tends to hate mine every time it's nearby?
Everything has been so bad that I can't help but go into episodes over what I've messed up, what I've missed while going through this endless suffering, what I didn't get to have as death really seems to knock at the door.
I'm already covered in scars and yet the itch continues to add more because both me and the razor know how we usually dealt with these things.
Some dumass managed to share their sh in the vent chat and of course I showed up at just the right time to catch it..
I remember the stinging feel causes, I remember the dripping of liquid and the smell in the air.
I think I'm losing my mind but to be fair, I've never seemed to have a mind of one to begin with.
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incelwhor3 · 1 month
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I wish my mom knew that quitting self harming wasn't that easy
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shizukathefox · 2 months
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Personal vent about myself
I wrote a personal vent about the future about my art + buying commissions, the state of my life, and what’s going on behind my social media accounts. I love you all. Please give it a read if you care about what I do, this is important for me and for you.
Pic for the algorithm cause I know it doesn’t care about my words.
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I don’t know how to say this, but I can’t find the time or energy to make art and/or buy commissions. My government is actively trying to kill me, my mental health is taking all my time and motivations. My effort is towards changing my behavior and behaving right, not pretending to be happy as I wanted to be.
I have not felt inspired or even desired to buy commissions. I have no new ideas, poses for art, songs for animation memes. I kept waiting for inspiration to hit again but it didn’t. I don’t even know if I’m going to be alive next year, how could you expect me to plan and buy a commission that may or may not be expensive?
It scares me. I deeply miss buying commissions but I feel like it’s rapidly losing me. I’m not as good as I used to be and I don’t understand how I made what I did. Deep depression and anxiety has made it impossible for me to do this, and I’ve lost crucial money for that. I’m scared.
I have to help my family out in order to prevent my house from being sold, only one of which I’m able to pay for. I can’t afford to go to my psychotherapy checkups. I barely have money to get stuff, yet I somehow have to save up money so I can escape Virginia next year. If Virginia doesn’t kill me first, of course.
I genuinely, through all of this, can’t keep going the way I always have. What little energy and passion I have left is helping my family out as fast as I possibly can. I wish I could be Shizuka the Scene Fox for you again. Someday. But I’m not safe, and I need to fight against that.
Imagined harassments and being blocked by people on social media cripple me. I feel like I’m disappointing everyone. I see my inspirations improving and shining. I don’t understand. I’m happy for them. With this world around you? How do you do it? I don’t know.
I’ve found happiness and stability through watching art tutorials on YouTube. I want to go to an art school someday. And though my dream of touring and supporting myself through art always remains, is it really realistic? Where have I gone, who knows me? I can’t move out of Virginia from my beloved home sweet home.
That’s what’s been overwhelmingly on my mind lately, I guess. I know it’s venting and it might not make any sense and I’m sorry for that. I just can’t keep this to myself anymore. All I ask of you in the future is please, please be patient and loving with me. Please. I’m trying.
I want to end this with something positive. I’ve found massive comfort and peace amidst such awful stress through Learke lately. It’s genuinely helped me stay positive. I think when I get back, when I’m ready, I want to commission an animation meme that sounds like this.
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