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geminimoonmadness · 11 months

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NATAL

RETROGRADES

Copywrites Reserved ©️GeminiMoonMadness

A retrograde in astrology is when a planetary object appears to move backwards, which essentially means the planet's energy is somewhat effected, so those life areas that fall under that planet's domain are not as easily expressed. It’s a very karmic thing to have in the natal chart, your soul chose to incarnate to learn deeper lessons regarding the areas of life ruled by that specific planet/asteroid. To know if you have a natal retrograde in your chart, look for Rx or R on a generated chart calculator.

Fun fact: Mars is the rarest retrograde.

❤️🖤❤️

Planets

If your Ruling Planet is Retrograde it will make you doubt yourself more and you may experience self image issues.

For example: A Gemini Rising with a natal Mercury retrograde or A Sagittarius Rising with a natal Jupiter retrograde.

Mercury Retrograde gives you lessons around communication, learning and intellect. You may struggle to articulate words and speak up or may even talk too much and not know when to be quiet.

Venus Retrograde makes someone’s nature more intense & deep. They take their connections very seriously which may cause these individuals to go through difficulties in regards to their one on one relationships. Since socialising is not taken lightly there can be some sort of awkwardness when participating in small talk and general shyness in order to avoid superficial connections.

Mars Retrograde individuals may lack forward movement, assertive abilities, have a dulled passion & drive. They may feel fatigued & tired more than often. Your sex drive may also be effected because of this.

Jupiter Retrograde individuals tend to have different or unusual perspectives, belief systems, or sets of morals. They prefer to learn from their own experiences rather than from others. This placement gives me “what do you know because you’ve experienced it yourself VS what do you know because you were told” vibes.

Saturn Regrograde burdens you with responsibilities and a sense of duty in your life. You may struggle with boundaries and find it difficult to say no to others.

Uranus Retrograde may make it hard for you to fully express your inner originality and unique side. These individuals are born a rebel and may also experience unexpected & sudden karmic events in their life.

Neptune Retrograde takes away your rose coloured glasses, you may have to face hard and painful realities as the neptunian illusion is stripped away. You’re meant to discover the truth behind your illusions, realise what is sacred and be a source of light in others lives.

Pluto Retrograde brings more growth opportunities into your life. You may have a fear of letting go which you’re here to learn the importance of doing so. You need to take control of your life as your shadow side may take over if you don’t do the work to transform/grow. (Shadow work is necessary with this placement)

(I know Lilith isn’t a planet, just adding it)

Lilith Retrograde can make you a sexual deviant (because sexuality is part of Lilith’s nature and here it's manifesting differently). You may struggle with following your instincts and acknowledging your desires. For example: Someone with a retrograde Lilith in Virgo would not be the typical control freak Lilith in Virgo person, instead they will be very messy.

ASTEROIDS

Chiron Retrograde means that trauma is deep within and may even come from a past life. In this lifetime, these individuals are here to re-evaluate your relationship with anyone & anything that doesn’t support you anymore. They may find it challenging to accept their feelings and the simple fact that humans are imperfect and vulnerable.

Ceres Retrograde individuals can struggle with having the nourishment, support, resources they need and may experience a lack in some way. This usually means that your upbringing failed to teach you the proper lessons about nurture and self care, so you'll have to learn it yourself. Check your Ceres sign and it will teach you what you need to nurture.

Juno Retrograde individuals may have commitment issues or trauma they need to work through. This also is an indication of past life karma in regards to relationships. These people are the lone wolves, they tend to avoid partnerships & may even prefer to be single and independent.

Vesta Retrograde individuals may lack devotion and discipline. It can bring up issues around fear of sexuality or intimacy, obsession, prostitution or selling yourself short in some way. They’re here to learn the value of service, this will examine how much dedication they’re putting into their life. When we put in little dedication, we can suffer. When we put in too much dedication, we can suffer as well. They may struggle with feeling like they fit in because they tend to lack devotion and/or generosity for others.

Pallas Retrograde may make someone aggressive, immature, have criminal tendencies and daddy issues. These individuals strategy may not be accept by society, with a ‘pick me’ vibe. They are inclined to manipulate and lie but can overcome these traits with self awareness and shadow work.

Amor retrograde individuals have some sort of discomfort when it comes to romance. You may have some old love issues and traumas to work through. These people tend to take a different approach to romance.

Cupido Retrograde may mean you have way too many crushes or rarely have any. You become too infatuated at times, or lack passion, and need to find a balance between the two.

Eros Retrograde may cause some issues around sex. This indicates there may be past trauma on a soul level, so you need to work on acknowledging your desires and acting on urges and fantasies in a healthy way.

Hermes Retrograde people tend to be in the wrong crowd and often find themselves taking the fall for others mistakes. These people tend to be good people but they may not be the best at balancing their life and managing their time. Possible fertility issues. Due to past accidents or incidents they have experienced in a past life may give them travel-related fears in this life. (fear of flying, fear of water, fear of driving, fear of bikes, fear of trains, fear of horses, etc.)

Eris Retrograde people may unintentionally cause trouble by doing things they thought wouldn’t be an issue. They may not like confronting others because it feels uncomfortable or they feel attacked whenever they speak up for themselves - They tend to experience a lot of gaslighting yet they usually hate fighting with others. They may often feel as though they are alone even when surrounded by other people.

Aphrodite Retrograde individuals may experience extremes from having stalkers to not being adored by others at all. They may feel unseen and unappreciated by others, making it often difficult to appreciate themselves. They tend to experience a lot of drama and may not be the most jealous person but rather the person who is too insecure to be openly jealous as if it’s like they expected it, “too good to be true” vibes.

❤️🖤❤️

I tried to be as informative as I could and added as much variety as I can with the asteroids I’m familiar with. There are other retrogrades I haven’t listed here.

Let me know which of these you have!

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yandere-3-sagau · 1 year

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To Take For Granted 2

Genshin Cult Au x Reader Angst

warning(s): mentions of suicide, therapy, depression, summoning, obsession, yandere

word count: 670

Part 1

—

A lot of time has passed since you’ve been in Teyvat. While the archons and acolytes have been devoutly praying to you for years upon years, you have moved on.

The time you had on Teyvat had really affected you. You decided to go to therapy where you were convinced that your experience was one big hyper realistic dream.

Therapy helped you heal and forget and you eventually moved on with your life.

You had even met someone. Someone who would become your most important person. The apple of your eye.

You’ve gone through several milestones with this person and you were sure you wanted to live the rest of your life with them.

Everything was perfect. You were living your days free of stress, the happiest you have ever been in your life.

You fall asleep in their arms with the biggest smile on your face and when you wake up to the warm sun shining on your skin, you expect to see your lover’s resting face as you always do.

But to your surprise, they are no where to be seen.

Instead, you’re surrounded by the familiar characters of a game you had stopped playing many many years ago.

“It worked… the summoning ritual finally worked!”

The sounds of cheers and laughter that echo around you is drowned out by the loud ringing in your ears.

Your eyes dart around, everything spinning. Your fingers tightly grip the grass that you briefly note is painted with unrecognizable lettering.

You attempt to get up but you stumble, disoriented.

The breeze on your face, the sun in your eyes… it feels all too real.

“No… this can’t be happening.”

It takes you a bit, but you manage to clumsily push past all of the concerned faces.

“This is a dream… it’s a dream, it must be.”

“Your grace, we’ve realized our wrongs…”

Their words fall upon deaf ears as you break off into a sprint. You needed out.

“I have to go back. I have to go back.”

Your hands are shaking as your realize you’re back to the very place that had put you into therapy for years.

Realization struck you like lightning.

“That’s right… all I have to do is die.”

You look around for something, anything to end it. You keep on moving, pushing past bushes and trees before you finally come across a cliff.

You peek over the edge. It’s a long way to the bottom but it doesn’t matter. You no longer care about the pain or feel any fear of death.

The love of your life is waiting for you.

Driven solely by the thought of your precious person, you throw yourself off the edge with no hesitation.

When you open your eyes, you realize you’re stuck in place, far from the ground. The wind carries to safety and as you land, you’re met with the tearful eyes of your acolytes who are confused on your desperation to leave them. They know they made mistakes but haven’t they proven how much they need you? They’ve gone through so much trouble to bring you back, can’t you at least acknowledge them? They have so many questions for you but the most important one…

Why do you want to go back so badly? Because you have a lover?

Do not worry, you have dozens of acolytes lined up, all willing to be your lover. Not just willing, there is nothing more in the world that they could possible want. It is the greatest honor to be able to hold you or be held within your arms.

So much so that they’re constantly fighting each other for that spot. They do everything they can to seduce you and make you forget of your previous lover.

They tend to you in every way they can. You are never left alone. 24/7, there is always someone with you. While you are sleeping, bathing, eating - your acolytes are by your side.

Such loyalty and devotion…

What more could you possibly want?

#yandere genshin #genshin impact #yandere sagau #yanderexreader #archons #genshin #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere sagau x reader #genshin cult au #yandere genshin cult au #creator reader #creator #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin sagau

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xcherryerim · 1 month

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A Helping Hand

Touch starved Mike x gn!reader | wc: 2.4k

“It will take a while for the scars in my heart to heal, that’s what I believed. At some point, I am in your embrace. You touch my heart baby” — Touch by Miss A

SMUT ONE SHOT | MDNI | +18 ONLY

In the warm lit bathroom, illuminated only by a single soft glow of the cheap lightbulb, Mike sat on a plastic chair, his broken leg propped up on a stack of towels. The lukewarm water cascaded over his body, mingling with the salty tears that traced down his pale cheeks.

His eyes, red-rimmed and glistening, pleaded with yours as he whispered, "Please touch me."

For the past few weeks, you'd been there for Mike whenever he needed you. He was once a self-sufficient man who refused help from others, but now that his leg was momentarily immobilized, he found himself at the mercy of those around him. His job not compensating for his leave, coupled with the overwhelming weight of daily struggles, had left him feeling trapped and helpless.

The realization that his life had spiraled out of control weighed heavily on his shoulders. It was one thing to acknowledge the despair, but quite another to confront it head-on with nothing but time on his hands. In this cramped bathroom, surrounded by tiled walls, he felt even smaller, more isolated than ever.

With tenderness and care, you stepped into the shower stall, succumbing to the task of helping Mike bathe despite the challenges posed by his injured leg. As the warm water poured down upon both of you, you began to wash his hair with the specialized shampoo and conditioner, working the suds through his locks with gentle precision.

When you moved onto his back, your fingertips brushed over his tense muscles, tracing the web of pain etched into his skin. Each stroke, each caress seemed to pull at the threads of his empty heart, finally, he couldn't contain it any longer when you stood in front of him, trying to wash his neck and chest. His fragile facade cracked as tears formed into his honey soulless eyes.

Looking at his reddened eyes and the sniffling sounds emanating from his nose, concern washed over you. "Mike, are you alright?" you inquired, worry lacing your words.

"Please touch me," he choked out, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just… touch me. Please."

Your heart ached for him, seeing him like this - broken, vulnerable, and begging for human connection. His erection strained against the fabric of his shorts, an unmistakable sign of his need for intimacy.

“I know I'm asking too much, I know I've been a burden with all the favors you've done for me these past few days, but I just—" Mike hesitated, his voice breaking as he struggled to find the right words.

His admission hung in the air between you, thick with guilt and the weight of his burgeoning dependency on your kindness.

With a deep, shuddering breath, he continued, "I just can't take this loneliness any longer."

His confession struck you like a punch to the gut, his vulnerability laying bare the emotional toll his situation had taken on him. You could see the fear lurking in his eyes, the desperate plea for understanding and support. And though a part of you yearned to provide the comfort he sought, you also knew that giving in would only complicate matters further.

Instead, you opted for a different approach, seeking to ease his pain in words rather than touch.

"Mike, I understand how hard this must be for you," you said softly. "But you're not alone, and we'll get through it together. I promise."

Your hand lingered on his shoulder, a tentative gesture of solidarity, offering the smallest measure of comfort without breaching the boundaries of your friendship.

Despite the distance you maintained, you could feel the tension in his frame, the unraveling of his composure under the strain of his emotions.

"You don't find me attractive?" he asked, his voice strained as if the very thought pained him. Tears welled in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he searched your face for answers. "I... I didn't mean to push you, I just..."

Swallowing hard, you replied softly, "It's not that, Mike. It's just... your request would change things between us. Our friendship would never be the same."

Defeat washed over his features, and he shifted his gaze downward, fixating on his length before quickly looking away in embarrassment. "I just want to feel wanted, desired, useful to someone... anything..." he whispered, the depth of his anguish echoing in every word.

"It could be just once," Mike suggested, grasping at any sliver of hope he could find. His hopeful eyes locked onto yours, their pleading depths reflecting the faint light from the bathroom fixture.

His grip on your hand tightened, a silent prayer that you'd consider his desperate proposal. The air grew heavier with his unspoken desires, the weight of his needs bearing down upon both of you in the confined space.

“Our secret.”

You stood there, torn between compassion and conviction, struggling to reconcile the gravity of the situation. It was impossible to ignore the sincerity in his gaze, the raw need for human connection that seemed to emanate from him. Yet, you couldn't shake the sense that giving in would irreparably alter the course of your relationship.

Finally, you managed to find your voice, your tone heavy with uncertainty as you answered, "Mike, I don't think it's a good idea. This isn't something we can undo or ignore later.” Uncertainty lacing your words.

But his grasp on your hand tightened, his pleading gaze never wavering. "I don't want to ignore it. I want you, I truly do. Please, just do this for me." His fingers trailed along your palm, his touch lingering on your skin as he guided it towards his trembling form. When his hand paused at his pelvis, you felt the heat radiating from him, a testament to the turmoil within.

Staring into your eyes, he implored you once more, his voice quivering with the weight of his longing. You could see the torment reflected in his pupils, the raw honesty of his need. And yet, despite the yearning, you knew that giving in would be crossing a line neither of you could return from.

Yet you found yourself drawn to the sight before you: his waterlogged body, the foggy atmosphere, and the haunting desperation in his eyes.

With a shaky breath, you gave in, nodding reluctantly in agreement with his plea. "But, this never happened," you insisted, attempting to impose some semblance of control over the situation.

Slowly, your hand descended to meet his base, the warmth of his skin contrasting with the dampness of the surroundings. Each nerve in your body screamed at you to stop, urging you to reconsider the implications of your actions. But the anguish in his eyes pulled you forward, forcing you to grapple with the reality of his suffering.

Biting your lip, you closed your eyes, swallowing hard as you began to move your hand, knowing full well that this moment would forever change the course of your lives. The steamy air seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the outcome of your decision as the two of you were in the shower, bound by a secret neither of you could escape.

Mike nodded numbly, a silent agreement between you both as he attempted to stifle the rising cries of pleasure. "Thank you," he whispered, his gratitude overshadowed by the raw emotion surging through him.

Watching your hand move delicately over him, he couldn't help but feel the intense mix of shame and ecstasy coursing through his veins.

You steeled yourself against the stirrings of guilt, focusing solely on the task at hand. The water continued to pour over you both, serving as a constant reminder of the fragility of your situation.

As Mike's breath hitched and his eyes rolled back in bliss, you found yourself lost in the dichotomy of his emotions: the gratitude, the shame, and the overwhelming need for connection.

You opened your eyes, catching sight of Mike biting down on his fist, a futile attempt to silence his cries of pleasure. A small, involuntary chuckle escaped you, the sound carrying a hint of tension.

“You can make sounds, it's okay," you reassured him, a tender smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Closing your eyes once more, you hoped that the vivid imagery of their current predicament wouldn't scar your memories.

But the sight of Mike's flushed skin, his eyes tight shut in ecstasy, and the pink length curved around your hand was enough to dispel any remaining reservations. To your surprise, your grip tightened around him, your movements becoming more assured, more passionate. The water continued to fall, oblivious to the shift in dynamics between you both.

"Fuck!" Mike groaned, gripping your wrist and urging you to increase your pace. His gratitude shone brightly in his eyes as he spoke. "Thank you."

Nodding in agreement, you positioned yourself between his legs, the steamy environment providing little privacy in this intimate encounter.

Mike's head shook slightly, his eyes cast downward in a display of vulnerability. "You don't have to do this, It's okay." His voice trembled, tinged with shyness.

A smirk played across your lips. "Be a good boy and take what I give you," you instructed playfully, wrapping your hand around him once more. Your tongue danced around his tip, drawing a startled whimper from him.

"I'll be a good boy! I'll be a good boy!" he cried out, his words punctuated by gasps of pleasure.

His moans filled the bathroom, a testament to the newfound intimacy that had consumed you.

As you continued, the boundaries between friends and lovers blurred, leaving no room for regret or hesitation. Every touch, every movement was driven by an unspoken understanding, born of necessity and longing.

This time, you engulfed him fully, relishing in the way his body shuddered under your touch. It seemed as if he teetered on the edge of release, his cries growing louder and more fervent.

His hand reached back, gently guiding your head to him, a combination of shyness and desperation etched in his expression. Over time, his grip tightened, urging you to accept more of him, hungry for the sensation.

Your heart raced, the consequences of your actions weighing heavily on your mind. But the hunger in his eyes, the pleading earnestness in his touch, made it difficult to resist.

"You take me so good..." Mike murmured, locking gazes with you as he succumbed further to his desire. His appreciation was palpable, the praise you offered striking a chord in his soul.

In response, you slowed your movements, meeting his eyes as you whispered, "And you feel so good in my mouth." The compliment sparked a blush and a small, grateful smile on his face. Praise – an elixir for his wounded heart.

The water continued to rain down on you both, rendering the bathroom a sacred chamber of vulnerable admissions and simmering passions. In this cramped space, the two of you were stripped bare, submerged in a maelstrom of shifting emotions and escalating pleasures. The boundary between friend and lover had vanished, replaced by a new territory where your instincts governed your actions.

Mike's breathing quickened, the anticipation of release building within him. And though you knew this moment was fraught with consequence, there was an undeniable pull toward the ecstasy that lay just beyond the horizon.

"Can I...?" Mike stammered, his voice trembling and hoarse. After collecting himself, he asked hesitantly, "Can I come on your face or, your body?"

"You're close?" you inquired, unable to hide the curiosity from your tone.

"Yeah, I couldn't last that long with you... you know," he admitted, flustered. Taking a deep breath, he hastily added, "Sorry, I wanted to last longer." Embarrassment colored his features, but his eyes beseeched you to understand.

Mike's apology lingered in the air, but you dismissed it with a gentle wave of your hand, recognizing the power of your connection. Despite the enormity of what was happening between you, the bond that once existed seemed to transform, adapting to the new landscape of emotions and desires.

His release drew near, every twitch and moan drawing you closer to the precipice. The water continued to pour, its relentless cadence echoing the intensity of the situation. And while the implications of your actions weighed heavily on your mind, the thrall of the present moment beckoned you, the two of you locked in an intricate dance of surrender and acceptance.

Finally, Mike released a strained cry, using the last of his strength to guide his release onto your face. It painted your skin, marking you with the evidence of his passion, only to be washed away by the endless stream of water. In that brief moment of shared ecstasy, the room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the outcome.

Then, without warning, Mike hauled you in for a kiss – a desperate, yearning embrace that had years of suppressed feelings woven into it. His lips pressed against yours, a testament to the depth of your connection. The water continued its steady descent, but you barely noticed as you were consumed by the weight of the moment.

As the echo of Mike's cry faded, you found yourselves frozen in the aftermath, clinging to each other like shipwrecked sailors finding solid ground. The reality of your actions bore down on you, a stark reminder of the journey you had just embarked upon. Yet amid the chaos, there was a strange sense of calm, the two of you buoyed by the shared experience that would forever bind you together.

Mike reached for the loofah hanging on the wall, extending it to you between gasps for air.

"You didn't do my back right," he panted, half-joking.

Rolling your eyes, you rose to your feet, a soft chuckle escaping you. "Asshole," you muttered, taking the loofah and moving behind him. As you carefully scrubbed his back, you couldn't help but study the contours, each mole a tiny piece of art etched onto his skin.

"We seriously need to find you a partner or a sneaky link," you sighed, the gravity of your recent exchange weighing heavily on your mind.

"Or maybe a friend with benefits?" Mike countered, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

You considered his suggestion briefly, a faint smile playing on your lips. "Maybe," you agreed, the idea hovering between laughter and contemplation.

The water continued to flow, washing away the remnants of your uncertainty and hesitation. The room felt charged with the knowledge of what had transpired, yet there was a strange comfort in the weight of it all. Your hands moved gently over his back, the loofah a buffer between the new reality and the old normalcy.

my dumbass forgot the taglist bro: @freak-accident419 @joshhutchersonsgf @valreanakuroo @cassiecasluciluce @jhutchismyl0verb0y

#wrote this in one sitting and didn’t even revise it sooo yk #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt fanfic #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt angst #mike fnaf #mike schmidt fnaf #mike schimdt x reader #mike schimdt smut #mike schmidt smut #mike schimdt x you #mike schmidt x y/n #mike schmidt x gn!reader #mike schmidt x male reader #mike schmidt x fem!reader smut

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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nayatarot777 · 3 months

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Is There Anyone Who You Need To Be Wary Of Right Now?

• Pile One •

This person could be an Earth sign feminine - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn. If not then they’re someone who enjoys physical comforts and luxuries. This doesn’t have to mean that they’re wealthy, but they may just prioritise money and materialism. This could even be a boss of a company. This person is very rash with the way that they communicate. They don’t think before they speak. They also communicate in a very immature and childish way. Their actions could also be very rash too. I am picking up on a major immaturity from this person though. They’re highly unawakened. This could be linked to how they’re highly materialistic or how they worship money more than anything else, but I’m seeing that they’re highly unawakened in general. They’re not self aware, they’re not aware or understanding of experiences and lifestyles outside of their own. They’re highly judgemental - but this is because they’re highly judgemental towards themselves. This is giving ‘insecure ass person who puts themselves up on a pedestal to cover up their insecurities’.

You need to be wary of this person because you’re trying to gain control over your life. You’re trying to direct your life to the place that you want it to be, but I’m seeing this person trying to cause you pain as a way of putting up blocks in your path. You’re being represented in this reading as the Page of Pentacles - someone who’s learning how to build some type of stability for themselves - and this person is trying to get in the way of this. They’re triggered by any self-stability that you have. Their insensitive way of speaking is the way that they try to hurt you. They know exactly what they’re doing as this is a conscious decision. I’m also seeing that this person could’ve already brought you pain - perhaps triggered some traumas out of you - and they’re trying to control the narrative behind your back. This person is a bit strange too as they don’t want to acknowledge what you’re building for yourself. Whatever money or stability you’re accumulating, they’re not wanting to see it.

Patreon

• Pile Two •

This person is either highly religious or just a major conformist. They could be a preacher or the equivalent to one - someone who likes to preach their own beliefs. They stay in line within society’s expectations of them and they don’t budge. This person could also be a married person. I’m seeing this person watching you and trying to learn things about you while you’re in a dark time mentally. While you’re experiencing fears, anxieties, and kind of stuck in a self-imposed mental prison. This is either a past or present energy. You were protecting yourself from this person, or just keeping yourself away from the external world as you didn’t feel prepared nor stable enough to deal with the judgements or expectations of others. This person could’ve definitely sent you judgements and tried to mask this as “religious help” or “religious teachings”.

The reason why you need to be wary of this person is because this person is highly argumentative and combative. They try to fight people about their beliefs or way of living if those things don’t align with theirs. This person tried (or is trying) to emotionally confuse you, away from something that holds a lot of abundance or positive energy for you. I don’t like this energy at all. It’s like they want to try to brainwash you into following the path that they want you to take and they’re willing to make you feel like you’re confused or lost as a way of doing this. This person is fucking disgusting considering they’ve literally watched you go through a mentally challenging time already. They’re seeing you in this state and deciding that you’re vulnerable enough for them to manipulate and force their own personal beliefs and expectations onto. Very predatory energy - especially if this person is religious in some way.

Patreon

• Pile Three •

I’m not seeing anyone who you need to be wary of currently, Pile Three. At most, you need to be wary about what you’re exposing yourself to online - especially if you’re consuming things that make you feel angry or anxious. You’re nobody’s saviour apart from your own and you’re not responsible for trying to save the world. It’s not normal (or healthy) for human beings to be bombarded with human tragedies and everything wrong about the world all of the time. Apart from that, I’m seeing that you’re part of the group of people who’ve been really isolating yourself and entering contemplation. You seem to be the victor of battles that other people have tried to cause for you and now you’re highly defensive. It doesn’t seem like anyone can really come into your space/energy and negatively affect you.

Again, there’s a need to detach yourself emotionally from the internet in general for a little bit. Some of you may be physically alone and away from others but you’re filling your time with online activities. If you’re not part of the group of people in this pile who are already being introspective, there’s a need for you to detach yourself from the outside/online world and sit in silence for a period of time. There’s some type of mental awakening that you’ll have about your personal beliefs and morals. These things may be swayed or blocked from realising by what you’re consuming online. There’s a need to figure out personally what you’d like to focus on and direct a lot of energy into for your PERSONAL life. Try not to be so distracted by everyone else’s life - especially people who you don’t even know personally. If you’re feeling mentally tired or defeated despite not doing much throughout your days, then this is the reason why. Your brain needs a rest. Not constant stimulation from social media.

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#pick a card #psychic readings #pac #tarot reading #pick a photo #pac reading #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a card reading #tarot pick a card

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geeks-universe · 1 month

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Cooper Howard x F!Reader (not to spoil it, but you know I love my crossovers so…)

The Fallen pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once, when the world was younger and you were still naive enough to believe in fate, you asked your father about love.

He’d laughed then- a deep, cheery kind, that spoke of a wisdom you could never hope to achieve.

“In time,” he’d promised, taking your hands into his, “You’ll learn that love comes in many forms, and the love you choose will always be the greatest.”

Even after everything, after years and years of disappointment, of cruelty and emptiness, you couldn’t forget his words.

So, in an act of rebellion, you chose love.

You chose the love of your brother, the brother who would lose everything, who would fall from Grace, just for defying fate.

You chose the human race, who turned their back on you, who hurt you over and over again.

You chose a better life, that seemed impossible most days- but sometimes, just sometimes, everybody lives.

And you chose wrong.

The world tore itself apart, and just when you wanted to believe it could find itself again, it would fall into the greatest trap in human history: greed.

The love in your soul turned to dust, like the cities you’d once roamed, crumbling until all that remained was an empty space and broken dreams. You’d held onto what you could of yourself, desperate to piece together the fragments into something that resembled the person you’d been, but there was no hope. The spark of hope you’d once kindled and raised to an inferno was doused, nothing but ashes in the ocean of your disappointment.

There were still a few things you couldn’t abide by, however, and Cooper Howard dragging an innocent woman through the desolate Wastelands was one of them.

You’d happened upon the scene by accident, just passing through, but the familiarity of the figure had you lurking longer than what was normally deemed safe.

“Coop?”

Your voice was gentle, like the beginning strums of a sweet song. Cooper wasn’t sure how the harshness that had etched itself into your demeanor never invaded your speech, but he would be eternally grateful. It was a goddamn godsend he didn’t believe he ever deserved.

“Well, now,” he drawled, careful to keep the smile that threatened to peek through hidden. “Last I heard, you were headed East.”

You had no such reservations, and even the years of guilt and pain couldn’t wipe away the upturn of your lips. For an action so small, it sure did radiate in a way the sun never could.

“I did, but it didn’t stick,” you shrugged, grabbing the straps of your backpack. Never one for subtlety, you gestured at the vault-dweller, who had been eyeing you with a keen interest.

She had been quiet, obviously, for the sake of herself and how Cooper might react to her asking for help. Now that you’d acknowledged her, though, she started speaking up, much to Cooper’s chagrin.

“I’m Lucy,” she said, tugging harshly at the restraints around her neck. “I’m looking for my father.”

You nodded, and the fluttering in Lucy’s heart slowed, fear mixing with her initial curiosity. You knew the ghoul holding her captive, the chances of you helping her were slim to none, but she tried to remain optimistic. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a good person on the surface.

“Might be hard to do with that,” your eyes flicked from her neck to Cooper, with a pointed raise of one brow.

He let out a low whistle, leaning back with the confidence of a man who’d lived long enough to not be afraid of shit. If it were anyone else, friend or not, he would’ve shot them dead and been done with it. He didn’t need to answer to anyone, but something deep in his chest forced his hands steady.

“She broke my vials,” he explained, cautiously avoiding your gaze. “Seems only fair she gets me more.”

“He used me as bait!” Lucy argued indignantly, trying to take a step towards you only to be tugged back by Cooper. “I had to do something.”

“Your father,” the word is strained, a haunting in your eyes Lucy can’t place, “Where is he?”

Lucy tried, once again, to walk to you. Coop, however, was keeping her on a tight leash, refusing to let her near you. It’s for his benefit, he tells himself, even if some small part of him does it for your protection.

Over the years, he’s run into you many, many times. No matter how hard he’s tried, it’s like fate keeps bringing him back to you. At first, he’d been downright horrible to you, terrified to admit that there was something in your eyes that made him feel human again. Slowly, ever slowly, like a stubborn weed you grew on him, and it’s been impossible for him to deny the way his body reacts to you.

“Coop,” you chide, your voice like velvet, enveloping his skin in a soft warmth. Fuck, he did love it when you used his name.

You gave Lucy a half smile, and the growl that threatened to leave Cooper’s mouth got caught in his throat as he realized you weren’t walking to her, but to him.

“I’ll get you the vials, just let her find her dad.”

He stood a little taller as you approached, planting his hands on his belt as he ran his tongue along his teeth.

“Darlin’, I ain’t doing this for the hell of it,” he replied, and then paused. “Mostly.”

You reached your hands out, carefully enveloping them around where he was grasping the rope. In all his years, he hadn’t recalled a single touch ever stirring his stomach the way yours did. You’d only ever touched him once before, and it was a brief graze of his cheek. This was intentful, and it felt a hell of a lot more intimate than it had any right to be.

“Please,” you breathed, and he could see the despair in your eyes - eyes that were far too old for someone who looked so young. He could never quite piece together how you fit in this world, or how you managed to look as if you’d stepped right out of the past just to have this moment with him.

He sighed, maintaining a scowl for all he was worth. Cooper Howard would not let you see the effect you had on him.

“Thank you, Coop.”

His stubborn heart skipped a beat as he clenched his jaw, his expression emanating annoyance. You weren’t perturbed, however, turning away to free Lucy.

“I’m (Y/N),” you introduced yourself, careful not to irritate the marks on her neck further. Cooper was rough around the edges, you knew that, but you saw the man beneath the armor in the little moments, the times he couldn’t quite hide who he was.

It intrigued you, made you think about yourself and the person you’d become. Perhaps, you had been too hasty in throwing that person away. Maybe, that part of yourself was still alive too, buried underneath layers of armor.

“Thank you,” she was sincere in her gratitude, and that tiny piece of yourself flared, begging to be remembered.

“I could help you too, you know,” you offered after a delayed pause, chasing the optimism she held tightly onto.

No matter how hard you tried, your soul fought back, demanded to be whole again.

“Really?” Her surprise morphed to joy, and you found it contagious.

“Now hold on just a damn minute,” Cooper interrupted, not pleased with that development. “Your services are required elsewhere.”

“I’m capable of servicing more than just you.”

His leg twitched at the insinuation, at the way you looked at him from beneath your lashes with an innocence he doubted you possessed.

“But, since you asked so nicely cowboy,” your smile was devious, your tone far too sultry for the sweltering heat of the desert. “You first.”

Lucy’s brows were to her hairline, unsure what to make of the dynamic between the two of you. Her entertainment, however, was cut blissfully short when you threw a canteen towards her, which she caught instinctually.

“Now you’re coddling her, sweetheart?”

You took a moment to wrap the lasso Cooper carried around into a neat loop, your gaze locked with his as you approached once more. Lucy was too preoccupied with her water to notice the two of you sizing one another up.

“Don’t be jealous, Coop,” you grabbed the front of his belt roughly, forcing him a step closer to you.

He fell into the motion, tracing his eyes dangerously slow from where you gripped his belt to the soft curve of your lips.

“You’re still my favorite,” you promised on a breath as you tucked his lasso securely into his waist.

His hands snatched your wrists before you pulled away, and for a brief moment, the intermingling of your breath was all that interrupted the silence. His gaze was a challenge, and yours was far too playful.

It was damn near unfair how you could walk through the apocalypse and still look like you belonged on a fucking billboard. There was an unnatural allure around you, and he wasn’t sure if it was the twinkle in your eyes, or the smoothness of your skin, or the gentle bur of your voice- but holy fuck you looked like an angel that’d accidentally stumbled into hell.

The silence was interrupted by Lucy clearing her throat, an awkward smile as she caught your attention.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but-“

“It’s okay,” you assure her, grazing your fingers along Cooper’s palms as you step from his proximity.

“Vials first, daddy dearest after,” you reminded them, taking the lead.

Lucy was more than happy to walk beside you, while Cooper trailed a small distance behind. Where Lucy was insistent on speaking, keeping up a steady conversation through the long trek, Cooper preferred to observe.

First, he focused on the way your black jumpsuit hugged all the right areas, tight enough it could be considered a damn sin. That train of thought was dangerous though, and left him with an ache he knew he couldn’t satisfy on his own.

So, he instead focused on the way you effortlessly dodged Lucy’s line of questions, and redirected the questions to learn about her. It was curious, that. As much of a tight lipped bastard that Cooper was, you were doubly so. Through the years and the friendly encounters, he’d let some of his life slip in conversation. Nothing substantial, but you certainly knew more tidbits than anyone else.

He, however, didn’t know anything about you. He knew what he observed, but you never told him anything about your past.

It helped pass the time, sifting through your noncommittal answers to make assumptions about the life you lived.

It was difficult though.

Sometimes, you talked about things like you’d witnessed them, even though it would’ve been impossible. He didn’t know your age exactly, but if he had to guess, he’d put you at maybe mid-twenties, and that’s at the oldest. It was damn near a miracle you didn’t have any missing limbs or obvious scarring. You looked as unmarked as a damn vault dweller, and he was starting to think that perhaps you had been one.

“Have you always lived on the surface?”

He never thought he’d be thankful for the damn vault dweller, but it was nice having someone try to pry some answers out of you.

“That’s a harder question to answer than you’d think,” you laughed a little coyly, like there was a joke that only you were privy to.

When it was obvious you weren’t going to continue speaking, and Lucy had far too many manners to push any further on the subject, she asked another question.

“Why’d you help me?“

Your gaze turned toward the setting sun. It had been over half the day since you’d decided to help them both, and the sun was just now slipping below the horizon. The three of you would have to rest soon.

“It’s hard to forget the person I was,” you admitted lowly.

The symphony that was your voice turned decidedly melancholy, unnaturally so. Normally, it sounded more like a romantic string of tunes that captured the essence of life. This, however, was sad, dead.

“Maybe the world needs more people like that,” Lucy provided, and Cooper didn’t miss the flash of guilt that devastated your expression.

Curious, indeed.

“I’d reckon that’s the last place we’ll find ‘fore the sun disappears,” Coop states, pointing to a rickety, old house, somehow still standing against the desert in defiance.

“It’s as good a place as any for the night,” you shrugged, leading the small group to the rest spot.

Where Cooper was cautious, weapon drawn, you were careless, opening the door like you knew nothing was in there that could hurt you. He felt a twinge of annoyance that you would be that reckless, knowing the dangers of the Wasteland. He was many things, but a protector was certainly not one of them.

“Here,” Lucy tried to hand you back the canteen you’d gifted her earlier as you settled yourself down in a corner.

The building was definitely empty, and provided some amount of protection from both the elements and any creatures lurking about, but there wasn’t any intact furniture. You’d found a relatively comfortable pile of sand and laid your pack down, as if it were a pillow.

“Keep it,” you refused to take the offering. You were honestly a bit surprised she had even saved some for you.

“But you haven’t had anything to drink all day.”

It was an oddity that Cooper had noticed too. While both he and the vault-dweller had taken an occasional sip of water or a bite to eat, you hadn’t done either, and the brutal pace you’d set hadn’t reflected that.

“Believe me, “ you said, turning your back to your two traveling companions. “I’m okay.”

Obviously unsatisfied with leaving the conversation, Lucy frowned, but obeyed. Her probing look to the ghoul warranted no answers, and eventually she found her own patch of sand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed along in a similar manner, and the more of you that the two observed, the more confused they became. They didn’t voice their concerns, however, far more focused on the destination you had in mind.

“It’s…”

Lucy trailed off, side eyeing you with a questioning look.

“A lab,” you supplied.

“Right, a lab!” She echoed enthusiastically, deciding it best not to point out that it was very much in a state of disrepair and the likelihood of anything surviving the looting prevalent throughout the Wastelands was little to none.

“Sugar, I don’t have the time to be fucking around right now.”

It was the closest tone to anger that Cooper had spoken to you since his first year of knowing you. In the past two days specifically his coughing had grown more severe and more often.

You’d explained a generalized version of what would happen without help to Lucy after the first night, and since then she’d been a bit more apologetic to the ghoul, even if he was a dick.

“Stay out here,” you ordered, not waiting for their inevitable protest as you slipped into the decrepit building with a loud screech of the door.

At the very least, your traveling companions didn’t follow you into the descending hallway, which was more than you expected.

Whatever source had powered the underground facility had died years ago, leaving the bulk of the supplies sealed tight behind an impenetrable door. The bunker was lined with 2 feet of lead, and a door weighing many tons. It was nigh impossible to get in, and if you were anyone else, you would’ve considered it a lost cause.

Instead, you cast a glance back towards the faded light where the entrance was, ensuring that you were not followed while you grabbed hold of the door handle.

You sighed, yanking with a great deal of force until the door made a loud pop, coming unhinged and falling to the ground with a deafening thud. There was a hushed murmur from where Lucy had yelled down to you, but you didn’t bother replying, instead focused on the rows and rows of vials.

Most of the initial testing sites were still secret, a forgotten part of history that, despite their usefulness in the current state of the world, had fallen into the cracks of negligence. Luckily for you, and by extension Cooper, there was enough supply to last him damn near a year if he could ration and store it properly.

Just as you dropped the first vial into your backpack, which was in a convenient metal container, you heard a distinct whooshing noise. You didn’t need to look at the falling object to know who had decided to drop by, and with an exasperated sigh, you tilted your head toward the ceiling of the very dark, very cold bunker.

“Brother…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think we should check on her?” Lucy was having trouble keeping still, straining her eyes down the dark hallway. “What if she’s hurt?“

“She ain’t hurt,” Cooper shot back, leaning back against the dingy building and crossing his arms over his chest.

“She could be de-“

“Finish that sentence and you might find yourself there, sweetheart,” He threatened, his fingers reaching down toward his holstered gun.

Maybe it’d be better to keep her mouth shut, but after a tense silence, and quite literally nothing better to do, Lucy couldn’t help herself.

“So, you and (Y/N)-“

“Do you like breathin’? ‘Cause I’m getting the distinct feeling that you certainly do not.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you look at her with this-“

“I have no qualms with blasting a hole through your head ‘nd tellin’ her you decided to run off.”

“And then there’s the way she talks to you-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there, sweetheart. If one more word comes out of your mouth, it’ll be the last.”

The two met stare for stare, the threat lingering in the hot breeze between them. Lucy had no doubt she was beginning to grate on the ghoul’s nerves, but she also didn’t really think he’d harm her, not when it was obvious you’d know it was him that did so.

He wouldn’t risk you being upset with him.

Probably.

And because Lucy really didn’t know when to stop talking, she spoke one more time.

“I know that you think I’m naive, and maybe I am, but I do know that life is unexpected and people die, like, a lot.” She dragged in a breath, envisioning her last, and only, memory with her mother, surprised that Cooper had actually let her speak for this long without interrupting.

“Especially up here, so maybe, just… keep that in mind.”

The silence stretched, and for a long moment, Lucy was sure he was going to shoot her. Or at the very least, not answer.

Ever so quietly, however, in a low grumble she heard him mutter, “I know.”

The air felt significantly less murderous after that, and she left the ghoul to contemplate his complex feelings on the subject. She might not fully understand the extent of your connection, or even why you felt that way towards him, but she could appreciate the raw emotion that sparked in the conversation between you both.

If anything good came out of her coming to the surface, besides bringing her dad home, she hopes it would be them realizing the gift they have. Idly, she thought about the knight she’d met back at Filly. That was the first real connection she’d had with anyone, as silly as it was to think about.

“I’m glad nobody’s shot,” you interrupted the quiet contemplation, the smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes.

Whatever happened in the mysterious lab couldn’t have been good, but you seemed entirely unscathed outside the haunted, nervous look in your eyes.

“Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Cooper greeted, tipping his hat back a titch so he could inspect your person. If he took a little extra time to appreciate the curves of your body- well, who could blame him?

“It’s cleared out,” you rattled your pack in the air before you, nearly dropping some of the overstuffed vials.

Coop let out a low whistle, and Lucy commented, “That’s enough for a lifetime.”

“Not quite,” you laughed, passing along the top one to Cooper. “But it will certainly last a while.”

While the ghoul tended to his needs, Lucy and you wandered further into the Wasteland, eyeing the pipboy on her wrist with the directions to the head.

“So the head for your dad?”

There it was again. The sourness in your voice at the word “dad”. Lucy wanted to ask without being too terribly intrusive, but let the subject drop.

“Did anything happen in the lab?”

You bummed, shaking your head. It was clearly a lie, further proven by the frown that settled on your lips. There wasn’t a lot of yourself you trusted other people with, especially not when it came to your family, but your soul was burning with the desire to shed your armor.

“My brother’s name is Lucy,” you said suddenly, unprompted. “Well, his nickname.”

Lucy, at the very least knowing where the boundary was, decided not to press her luck. Despite seeming to be such a small piece of information, she could see the effort you put into sharing it nonetheless.

“Lucy?” Cooper echoed, having snuck up at some point to follow you.

You weren’t bothered that he’d overheard though. On more than one occasion you’d wanted to share pieces of yourself with Cooper.

“Lucifer,” you provided his full name, a twinge at the top of your shoulder blade, where your battered, broken wings began, ran down the length of your spine.

“Like the devil?” Lucy inquired cautiously.

A laugh crawled up your throat, and before you could stop it, you were giggling heartily, nodding your head.

“That’d be the one, yeah.”

She didn’t understand the truth you were telling her. You knew she wouldn’t, couldn’t possibly fathom the implications that ensued with that knowledge either.

Lucy casted one quick glance at Cooper, then cleared her throat and claimed she was going off the path to use the bathroom quick.

There was a tense silence that permeated the hot, desert air when she left, a new development that neither occupant knew how to navigate. Finally, Coop broke it.

“Ya know, you’ve never actually talked about… all o’ that.”

Your family.

He didn’t say it in so many words, but you could fill in the unspoken topic without much thought. You hummed, acknowledging your own secrecy regarding your past.

“Sometimes it’s better to leave the past buried.”

Coop breathed out a laugh.

“Don’t I know it.”

The smile you gave him was genuine, albeit small. Hesitantly, you reached out towards his gloved hand, grasping it lightly between your own. You didn’t have anything you really wanted to say, didn’t need to, actually. He could see it in your eyes, the gratefulness shining in your bright gaze, clearing some of the guilt that stayed stagnant on your person.

“The vaultie reminded me today,” he drawled, his voice even lower than normal. If you didn’t know him any better, you’d say he was almost flustered.

“People die.”

You waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, you raised a brow in question.

Cooper felt his heart jump to his throat. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bare himself- not now, maybe not ever. The world felt like it started spinning around him, and he pulled his hand from yours, cradling it to your chest.

“Just hope you’re not one of ‘em, darlin’,” he finished lamely.

You swallowed, deciding it was better not to push. Not today.

“You too, Coop.”

Words simmered between you. Dangerous, terrifying words. But Cooper couldn’t get them out, couldn’t get past the panic that played his heart like a damn fiddle.

And you, well you couldn’t let go of your guilt, couldn’t see past the pain of watching the world go to shit and not doing anything to stop it.

So those words stayed unspoke, utterances of the heart, but not of the lips. Maybe, if they were never voiced, they could freeze, and eventually crumble, like time did to all.

Lucy returned then, and the unlikely group continued on as before, leaving the forgotten words to decay away in the dry sand of the Wasteland

#cooper howard x reader #the ghoul x reader #fallout x reader #cooper howard x you #cooper howard insert #i love him #i warned y’all #anyways #bye I have no regrets

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bamsara · 1 year

Note

"I just wanted to say. Thank you for protecting me"

Eclipse-Centric | Wordcount: 805 | AO3 Version

(Maybe some major spoilers for Solar Lunacy, TW for some robot gore, human injury)

The damage to their body was... extensive. Not life-threatening. But extensive.

You don't know how you're going to fix this right now, but Gramps has a toolbox in the shed, and there's duct tape underneath your kitchen sink, and Eclipse is very, very patient as he sits numbly on your coach, of few words and more looks, as you pluck out charred wires and plastic out of the hole in his arm to the robot that's probably held together less out of reasonable sense and more out of will and magic that you don't understand.

The arm that was torn off has sharp edges in the metal that cut at your fingertips when you try and brush it off, and you don't know if the animatronic feel pain if you were to try and sand it. So, in a comical fashion, you've put an oven mitt over the end of it, taping it to hold its place.

The other arms are laying limp, two on the couch, resting with its palm up in your lap. There's fried wiring around the elbow, dents in the forearm where Monty grabbed him, and openings that you can't tell look like they're from wolf claws or the steel of a knife.

The sight of them makes the wound under your own bandages ache for a moment, but you swallow back the wet soreness in your throat and continue working. The hospital gave you decent pain meds. You needed to stay on task while they were effective.

"Lift, please." You talk quietly, fearing that your voice may crack.

Eclipse doesn't respond, eyes locked onto the television. The news is playing, covering the fire. The sound is low so not to bother you. Still, the animatronic shifts his limbs for you, head turned towards the screen.

There's melted plastic stuck to his forearm, and you're peeling it off with chipped fingernails and whatever willpower you have left, flicking off the pieces onto the carpet to vacuum up later when you have the energy. Leaning back, you gather the duct tape from the coffee table, pulling out a strip to cover the hole in his shoulder.

It's...not what he needs. But it's all you have. All you can do is pick up the pieces and cover up the damage so it doesn't get any worse.

"I'm gonna put this over the opening, okay?" Two long strips are wide enough to cover this 'wound', and it seals the inside of the wiring away. "So nothing gets in your chassis. Or falls out."

Eclipse doesn't make a movement to acknowledge what you said, staring limply with the default smile toward the news broadcaster detailing the company's statement, and it's an estimate of the cost of damages.

Their ability to emote is not currently active, just like their voicebox. Not until they are both fixed. You wish they were active. You wish you could get something, a facial expression, a joke, a sentence, anything. You're taping your friend's fingers together like broken bones only theirs were stuck as claws.

A warmth travels down your face, past your mouth and you don't feel the wetness until it hits your neck. Lips pressed together into a thin line, you rub the tear away. You'll do that on your own time. Not now.

When you blink, you see a shift in the corner of your eye. Eclipse is staring at you now.

Your tongue feels swollen in your mouth. "I, uh-" You busy yourself with his hand, grey-tainted with burned-off paint and scorched sharp points. "I wanted to say thank you for protecting me. You know-" You keep your head low. "Back then."

He looks at you with black eyes and still pupils. The crack in his faceplate feels like guilt and sorrow in your ribcage.

You missed them saying things. You'd be happy for a stupid nickname, even.

The fingers you were treating suddenly tense in your grip, and by instinct, you let them go, until they turn and they fold around your own hand. Long, damaged fingers curl into your own, grasping your hand and holding it along with your wrist.

You freeze as Eclipse leans down, and his faceplate presses against your forehead. Not barely, but heavily, firmly, resting in your hair.

He lingers there as the news broadcast flashes familiar images on the screen, casting different colors on both of you.

You only raise a hand to press your fingertips to the bottom of his faceplate pushing him back as you mummer you needed to remove his ruffled collar so you can clean the soot you've spotted hidden underneath it.

He lets you, but the hand not using the rag stays in his hold, and his other comes up to palm away a warmth that falls from your face and onto your neck again.

#Solar Lunacy #fnaf eclipse #writings #drabbles #eclipse x reader #the daycare attendant

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thisdreamplace · 9 months

Text

for those who struggle

i recently got sent an anon message about frustrations surrounding the law, and how non-dualism hasn't made it any easier for them, but actually just more frustrating to the point where they're officially walking away from everything and wanting to just go back to live as they knew it before any of this.

the truth is that, oversimplification runs rampant in this community. as well as, hiding behind the realities of how difficult it all can be, because people are afraid of affirming that it's difficult or identifying with difficulty... but when we hide from this experience and try to come off as if it doesn't affect us, while simultaneously trying to give out advice, there tends to be more damage than good happening. the oversimplifying isn't the fault of anyone, as the truth is most of this is simple. but in actually living it, it tends to not be simple at all. the ego will fight till the very end to keep things the way they are, even when they hurt us. and that is worth being honest about.

when it comes to non-identification and indifference, this is not meant to be used to as yet another way to pretend something isn't happening or push down your feelings or gaslight yourself. i see these posts like, "just ignore the 3d and don't identify with it and you would have already have what you wanted" ..... this doesn't actually really help anyone, unless you're a person who strives on that kind of mentality. but i think a lot of people need a little more gentleness and realness, otherwise this journey wouldn't have been so difficult and painful. we'd all just get it overnight, but clearly, this community stays extremely active for a reason. because the million ways its already been explained still leaves so many confused and frustrated.

indifference is a daily practice, and it is NOT one that includes pretending something doesn't exist in exchange for getting what you want. it is actually, the extreme opposite. it's by acknowledging what's there... and allowing that to be what it is. the non-identification comes in from how you choose to see YOURSELF in relation to whatever that thing is. "this is painful, this sucks, i hate it... but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better for me. it doesn't mean my life is doomed..." etc etc etc. it's this very small flip within yourself, that actually leads to results. not trying to force yourself into believing you aren't even who you are when you've identified as yourself this entire life. remember that god's name is I AM, and literally nothing else.

and doing something to get something else is just... not it. it's time for you to truly want to feel better, regardless of anything else. that's why so much of this starts to get trickier than it needs to be.

non-identification is literally as simple as realizing... you are bound to no past, and you have the opportunity of every future you can possibly imagine. why ? because non-identification is literally just non-attachment. when you're not attached to this idea of who you were, of the struggles you used to face, you're able to allow in different experiences. and y'all... this as simple as being able to say to yourself, "i am allowed to experience something new" and don't let your fear of the unknown stop you from experiencing something new.

here's where it doesn't feel so simple though. how can you just stop identifying with this whole human self when the traumas of the past keep coming back to haunt you ? thats the thing. you don't just stop identifying with it. you let this be a process, a non-linear path to liberation. slowly, but surely, if you keep at it everyday, even when you feel you're only going backwards... one day you will realize how much more free you are. how much more easier it is to move into a new beautiful story for yourself, one that isn't contiminated by your past. but let today be today ! and whatever may come, let it come.

this is why just focusing on yourself is so helpful because if you're simply doing the best you can for yourself and your feeling state, the daily dramas are no longer your ruler.

the gag is that, the more you just do these small daily practices of sitting with yourself, choosing to not engage in the stories you used to identify with in the past, and allow new experiences to come to you... the more easy it gets, the more the truth of yourself begins to show itself on its own. you have to realize that the days are going to keep passing by anyway... so stop counting them, and just commit to yourself.

i also want to quickly note that so many seem to leave out the fact that behind all of this, within the pure nothingness that is also everything. behind our human identifications and all the things we have experienced in our lives, there is unconditional love. and when we actually begin to stop identifying so deeply with who we thought we are, we are lead right back to unconditional love. love in its purest form. so, use love as your guide when things get too difficult. it's the truest thing to who you really are.

you have to let allow yourself to experience the beautiful, despite how strange it may feel. because it's going to feel strange if you've never really experienced it before, and the ego is going to fight because even when it's good, the unknown is still strange and scary. and you never have to be perfect at this to get to experience the things you want, believe it or not. i know that i still have a long way to go on this journey, there may be much more time before i ever get to fully experience the promise in full, but that hasn't stopped me from experiencing the desires of my heart on a daily basis. that's because i used these simple things, these small little flips in how i chose to see life. even if the anxiety never went away, or it was a more difficult day full of tears... this is way more possible for you than you realize. if only you're willing to allow your life to be different than it's always been. just that small allowance, opens up all the doors.

xo dream ��

#nonduality #nondualism #law of assumption

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kikyo-bnha-imagines · 9 months

Note

Can we get a scenario for Shigaraki with a healer girlfriend that always fusses over him when he gets injured?? And he tries to play it off like it's no big deal but he secretly loves being spoiled by her

The moment Shigaraki gets back to the hideout, he is greeted by your wide-eyed, panicked expression.

“Tomura!” you cry out, rushing over to him. “What... what happened? You’re hurt!”

Granted, you’re not wrong. Part of his clothing has been torn up, and there are noticeable gashes on his skin peeking through the frayed fabric. He's taken enough damage that he's even walking with a bit of a limp, and he has to admit that it’s a pain in the ass.

Despite all that, Shigaraki just shrugs in response.

“I’m fine,” he dismisses. “Just let my guard down for a bit. Don’t worry. The other guys are dead, so in comparison, they barely did anything to me.”

You puff out your cheeks, and even though he knows you’re worried, you’re so goddamn cute that it’s kind of hard to take you seriously.

“Just because you’re strong doesn’t mean you don’t need to take care of yourself,” you chastise him.

Shigaraki shrugs again. “It’s no big deal. I barely even feel anything.”

That’s a total lie, but he does his best to act tough around you. Besides, it wouldn’t reflect well on him if the leader of the League of Villains was whining over a few little injuries, right?

Instead of responding, you just roll your eyes, grab him by the wrist, then pull him into one of the rooms.

“Even if it’s not a big deal to you, it is to me,” you remind him. You lightly push on his shoulders and force him to sit down. “Now, stay there. I’m not letting you leave until you’re good as new.”

Apart from his mentor, All for One, Shigaraki is the most dangerous villain to date. There’s practically no one who doesn’t cower in fear when they hear his name. He’s powerful enough to reduce anything to dust, and he watches in delight as no-good heroes die from his bare hands.

That’s the kind of person he is, and yet, you still worry about him.

Shigaraki isn’t sure how it happened, but he must have plucked an angel from the sky. Well, a corrupted angel who willingly supports a murderer, but an angel all the same.

You lean forward, knitting your brows together, and slowly but surely, your palms begin to glow with bright, warm light.

Even Shigaraki, as determined as he is to act unbothered, can’t help but sigh in relief as you press your gentle, glowing fingers against his injuries. He can feel the pain ebb away, gradually at first, and then all at once.

Seriously, he struck the goldmine. Not only does his party have a healer now, but she’s also his super-hot girlfriend. Lately, he has to admit that life is pretty damn good.

“How does that feel?” you ask, making sure not to apply too much pressure.

Shigaraki nods sleepily. There’s something about your Quirk that makes him let his guard down and feel especially at ease. Although that can be said about being around you in general.

You run your fingers over every single wound, even the ones that are small enough not to warrant any attention. His body is back to being in near-perfect shape, but he knows that using your Quirk comes at the cost of your own energy, and you let out a heavy sigh, slumping down onto his lap.

“That’s why I said you didn’t need to do this,” Shigaraki frowns. “Look. You’re exhausted now.”

You shake your head, mustering up a smile. “No. It’s fine. A bit of fatigue is nothing if I know that you’re safe. I just always want you to be safe. Okay, Tomura?”

Before he can even respond, you cradle his cheek and lead his lips towards yours, meeting him in a soft, featherlight kiss. His face instinctively flushes, and he wraps his arms around you as quickly as possible, hoping to prolong the moment.

“I know you only worry because you care,” he acknowledges. His lips trace yours for a moment, and when he kisses you again, it’s deeper and more urgent than before. “I... love you,” he mumbles. As usual, it’s hard for him to say the words. He always thought that someone like him didn’t deserve love, wasn’t even capable of it. But meeting you changed that, and now, he knows better.

“I love you too, Tomura.”

You smile back at him again. Perhaps he’s biased because you’re his girlfriend, but he really thinks you’re the most gorgeous human being on the entire planet. You make him feel warm and comfortable. He’s strong enough to kill anyone who dares to fuck with him, that much is true, but even so, it’s nice having someone who puts his wellbeing first.

Shigaraki squeezes you tight, and he watches in adoration as your eyelids slowly fall shut, the strain of your Quirk finally catching up with you. If you happen to fall asleep on his lap, he knows he won’t be moving for the next couple of hours. But it’s fine.

You took care of him, and now it’s his turn to take care of you.

#shigaraki x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia #bnha #bnha fluff #mha fluff #fluff #romance #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #boku no hero imagines

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taranthese · 1 year

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SWEET LITTLE WIFE !

husband!aemond x innocent!reader

★ warning , suggestive slight smut

his eye sharp as his jaw clenched staring at you dancing with the lannister man. you were smiling, a smile that was only reserved for him ━ your lord husband. his grip on the chalice tightened as the lannister man spun you around, your blue dress that matched his sapphire eye twirled in the moonlight, the hand that was previously on your waist was slowly going lower, making aemond’s eye twitch in anger. the prince could feel a burn coming from his sapphire eye, not knowing if it was truly pain or the product of his anger.

aemond watched as the golden haired lannister whispered something in your ear, in which you nodded and took his hand which in stead, let you out of the ballroom with the man. fearful and steaming, aemond stood up, placing his chalice down with force, shaking the table, pausing everyone’s activities to look at him.

aemond stepped outside only to see the lannister man leading you to his quarters, making aemond seethe in anger. how dare a feeble and lowlife lord take advantage of his innocent sweet darling wife? you’re his, his to love, his to cherish, his to touch, every part of you belongs to aemond and what was this lannister doing? taking his belongings away.

“lord lannister, i don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure.” aemond greeted with malice behind his subtle kind acknowledgement of the lord who suddenly jumped of fear and surprise.

“lord husband!” you smiled and skipped towards him, holding onto his cold hand against your warm ones. “lord lannister had just invited me for a wine tasting in his chambers, how delectable!”

the lannister man’s eyes widened in fear as he took a step back, in a speedy second, aemond spun the man, his back hitting the wall as his engraved dagger dug into the skin of the lord lannister’s throat.

“you touch my darling wife again, i will personally cut your cock off and feed it to vhagar.” aemond said calmly as you stood beside him, in fear, yet you felt a tingling between your thighs ━ seeing your husband become extremely protective of you was a real treat indeed, even though you couldn’t fully comprehend why you needed protection from lord lannister. “understood?” he dug the dagger harder into the skin, drawing dark red blood from the poor man.

“yes, my prince.” the man choked out as aemond released his grip and took the hand of his wide eyed wife, rushing her to their shared quarters.

as soon as they arrived, aemond pushed his little wife against the wall, his face inches away from yours as he stared at your brightly coloured eyes. “tell me wife… what were you doing with the lannister?” he whispered as his hands moved from the small of your back to groping at your thighs.

“h-he said we were just going to have wine.” you shakily stuttered as you shut your eyes tight, he moved his grip towards your waist, gripping it like it were the end of his life. “i d-didn’t know -”

“oh yes! my darling little wife, ever so innocent.” aemond’s right hand moved from it’s previous position on your waist to your face, his knuckles softly caressing your cheeks. you shed a tear, which aemond quickly wiped with the back of his hand. “what am i going to do with you?”

aemond then forcefully dragged you over to the cushions where he sat down, legs wide. “bend over.” his voice stern as you shakily moved to bend over his thigh, your chemise damp with your wetness. “this is your punishment, ñuha dōna.” aemond cooed as you start softly sobbing.

“h-husband, please…” you beg as he lifted up your skirts, revealing your wet chemise.

“my, my” he snickered as he teased you, making your sobs louder. “my sweet wife was wet the entire time, tell me, who made you like this?” he asked as his long slender hands rubbed your bundle of nerves through the chemise. "was it the lannister lord?"

“n-no! all for you. you! husband! all for you!” you exclaimed as he smirked and hummed, lifting up your chemise to reveal your bare bum. “aemond, please…”

“patience, little wife.” he hummed as he caressed your soft milky cheeks, your juices leaking towards his thigh, covering his leather garments in your wetness. “before you have your pleasure, your punishment comes first.” his hand struck your bare cheek, making you whimper and sob.

the entirety of the red keep could barely anything other than you and aemond that night, as your sobs of pain and pleasure had swallowed any sounds left.

my first piece of writing on tumblr ever ! so sorry if there were any mistakes as this was a bit of a rush piece ♡

#ivy's works #aemond x reader #aemond imagine #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond smut #hotd imagine #houseofthedragon imagine

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cvlutos · 1 year

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“My Wingless Dove”

| Repost: 02.19.2023 | 1.2K | Mature Audiences |

Yandere!Diasomnia X GN!Reader [TWST: VAMPIRE AU]

Book.Summary: Dont walk into abandoned homes, even if the weather is bad, for there may be vampires living there that just love humans.

You’re pretty.

So pretty that it worries us to death when you come barreling into our home, fumbling through the door with heaving breaths, pounding heart, and rushing veins, so loud and so full of life. You kick the door closed desperately, blindly throwing yourself deep into the dark and what you assume—abandoned—home.

You’re far too pretty to live in such fear.

You make a home for yourself, using the old dusty library as yours, what we wish would be your forever home. Using broken floorboards as wood. Though you aren’t fully aware of our presence, that’s alright. You don’t need to worry about the peering, deep reddish-magenta glowing eyes that watch you from afar. Eyes that you swear you see as you prepare your dinner. Or as you sleep, gentle touches of flesh brush against the apple of your cheeks, or the exposed chest of your collarbone.

Don’t worry about the glaring eyes that watch you from afar as you search the forest for your food, silently protecting you. Do not worry when you see green eyes and that of a tall silhouette watching you from the far corners, only for you to blink and it’s gone. You’re pretty. They only want to admire you.

══════ ♡ ══════

The deep red eyes are first to greet you.

First to catch your attention. First to frighten you. Even if he doesn’t mean to., you’re just too cute, such a sweet, defenseless person, living amongst four beings that are far stronger, faster, hungrier. Far more than you could ever be. You’re fascinating and he lets you know of his existence. He wants you to know he’s around, devoted to you, as he is the prince.

You have dreams of a soft, monotone voice.

Hearing him whisper to you to sleep well, to have pleasant dreams. He is the one you should trust most, the one who understands you the most. Even though mortality is so from him. That’s alright, you are simply a glimpse of what he once was, and he adores you for that. You represent that part of him that was once human.

The glare from afar still scorns you.

He makes you feel unwanted, unneeded, foreign—an intruder. Well, in a way, you are. You stumble into their home, into the home of the prince, and make it your little hovel. He’s annoyed, disgusted, for you represent the side of him that will always be human. That will never change. He hates that about you, yet he can’t find it in his unbeating heart to allow any harm to come to you. Maybe he isn’t as detached from humanity as he claims.

The tall silhouette that scares you still.

He wishes you didn’t fear him. He wishes you’d simply waltz into his arms, sway gently against him and with him. He craves for you to step into the shadow to see him and acknowledge him for being safe, to see that he wouldn't harm you. He cares for you as a lover would. Even if you don’t love him yet, you will. Eventually, you will. As all things take time and you, darling, will have all the time in the world.

══════ ♡ ══════

“If I could simply stop time in this moment—without having to change not a single part of you—I truly wish I could.”

His words are merely wind to air as you sleep, blissful and unaware. You are as if the sun had been given for him to hold and cherish, a blessing, a gift. So strong, yet so destructive. So painful for he knows if he touches you, he melts. Burns. He’s alright with that.

You had in passing, talking to the ancient pictures on the walls of your soon departure. Something that Malleus can't bear to stand. You can’t go free of them. Of him. Not now. Nor ever. For he knows like a flower that only blooms once within its lifetime, would soon disappear. He refuses. You will be there for his lifetime, all his lifetimes. He wants nothing more.

“My Prince... what is it you desire?”

You.

The answer is you.

You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.

It will always be you.

You spilled your blood today as you explored the vast forests. Bring them each nearly to their knees, salivating desperately. Like a flavor that they knew not of, yet still yearned for centuries. Surely, you’d indulge them. Silver gently lowers your form onto the massive bed, treating you so delicately, like glass.

You should feel so loved. So wanted. Even when you awaken and you thrash against Sebek’s tight embrace, cursing him—begging him to release you, pleading with him to let you go. As Lilia forces your mouth open to feed you, as you kick and scream.

You will come to understand our love.

As Silver nearly suffocated you in his chest, rocking you slowly as Malleus reads fairytale stories to you.

You’ll get over how cruel I am. As I read, you tales of freedom, or escape, of adventures, that you could never go on.

“You’ll understand why I did what I did, my little wingless dove.”

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callsigns-haze · 2 months

Text

Baby Now?!

Pairing: Cassian x reader Warning: Contains explicit scenes of intimacy and strong language. SMUT Summary: In the passionate aftermath of Solstice celebrations, Cassian and Y/N's intimate connection deepens as they embrace the prospect of parenthood together.

A second part to Say something and will become part of A Warrior and a Navigator... BUT CAN BE READ ALONE

Cassian lay in bed, the soft glow of dawn filtering through the window of their shared chamber. His fingers traced lazy patterns through Y/N's hair as she slept soundly, her head nestled against his chest. The rise and fall of her breathing, the gentle warmth of her body against his, brought a sense of peace that he had not known in weeks.

It had been a tumultuous journey since he had woken from his coma, his wings nearly shattered from the fierce battle that had nearly claimed his life. But now, after weeks of painstaking healing, they were nearly whole again, each scar a testament to his resilience.

As he lay there, Cassian couldn't help but marvel at the woman beside him. Y/N had been his rock throughout his recovery, her unwavering support and love a constant source of strength. She had been by his side every step of the way, offering comfort when the pain was unbearable and encouragement when he felt like giving up.

With a soft sigh, Cassian pressed a kiss to the top of Y/N's head, his heart swelling with love for her. He couldn't imagine his life without her, couldn't fathom how he had ever lived without her before.

But even as he reveled in the peace of the moment, a part of him couldn't shake the lingering shadows of doubt and fear that still haunted him. The memories of battle, of loss and sacrifice, weighed heavy on his mind, a constant reminder of the dangers that lurked just beyond the safety of their sanctuary.

Yet, as he looked down at Y/N, her face serene in sleep, he knew that he would face whatever challenges lay ahead with her by his side. Together, they were unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with.

With a tender smile, Cassian brushed a strand of hair away from Y/N's face, his heart swelling with gratitude for the gift of her love. And as the first rays of sunlight bathed the room in a warm golden glow, he knew that no matter what the future held, as long as they were together, they could overcome anything.

Cassian's concentration broke as the familiar presence of Rhysand brushed against his mind, a gentle nudge in their shared mental bond. With a slight furrow of his brow, he responded, the connection effortlessly bridging the physical distance between them.

"We're still in bed," Cassian replied silently, his thoughts carrying across the bond with ease. "Y/N's asleep. I'll wake her up in a moment."

There was a brief pause, during which Cassian could almost sense Rhysand's amusement.

"Taking advantage of the rare moment of peace, I see," Rhysand teased lightly, his tone tinged with affectionate sarcasm.

Cassian chuckled inwardly, a soft rumble of amusement echoing in his mind.

"Just enjoying the quiet before the chaos of the day begins," Cassian replied, his fingers continuing to thread through Y/N's hair as he spoke. "We'll be down shortly."

He could sense Rhysand's understanding in the bond, a silent acknowledgment of the need for a moment of respite amidst the ongoing challenges they faced.

"Take your time," Rhysand responded, his voice warm with understanding. "We'll save you some breakfast."

With a mental nod of gratitude, Cassian severed the connection, returning his focus to the woman in his arms. As Y/N stirred slightly against him, a soft smile tugged at Cassian's lips. Despite the trials and tribulations that awaited them beyond the sanctuary of their chamber, he knew that as long as they faced them together, they could weather any storm.

Feeling Y/N stir against him, Cassian's heart swelled with warmth. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, lingering for a moment to breathe in the scent of her hair. His lips trailed a path of gentle affection, leaving a trail of tender kisses along her temple and down to her cheek.

As Y/N began to awaken, her lashes fluttering against her skin, Cassian's lips found hers in a tender embrace. The kiss was soft and sweet, a silent reassurance of his love and devotion. He poured all of his emotions into that simple gesture, a silent promise to always be there for her, to protect her and cherish her for all eternity.

When they finally parted, Y/N's eyes met his, a sleepy smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her fingers reached up to brush against his cheek, a silent caress that spoke volumes of the love they shared.

"Good morning, my love," Cassian murmured, his voice husky with emotion. "I hope you slept well."

Y/N's smile widened, her eyes sparkling with affection as she snuggled closer against him.

"Every moment with you is a dream," she whispered, her words a soft melody that warmed Cassian's soul.

With a contented sigh, Cassian wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as they savored the simple pleasure of being together. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth and love of their embrace, the outside world faded away, leaving only the two of them and the promise of a new day filled with endless possibilities.

Cassian chuckled softly, his breath warm against Y/N's cheek as he spoke. "I'm afraid we may have overslept," he admitted, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. "Rhysand reached out through the bond. They're waiting for us downstairs for breakfast."

Y/N's eyes widened slightly in surprise, a faint blush coloring her cheeks as she realized they had lost track of time in each other's embrace. "Oh, I didn't realize it was so late," she murmured, a sheepish smile playing at the corners of her lips.

Cassian brushed a gentle kiss against her forehead, his fingers tangling affectionately in her hair. "It's alright," he reassured her, his tone warm and reassuring. "We can take our time getting ready. They'll understand."

With a soft sigh of contentment, Y/N nestled closer against him, her fingers tracing lazy circles against his chest. "I could stay like this forever," she confessed softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Cassian's heart swelled with love at her words, a tender smile curving his lips. "As much as I would love that," he replied, his tone gentle, "we should probably get up before they send someone to check on us."

Y/N chuckled softly, a playful glint dancing in her eyes. "I suppose you're right," she conceded, pressing a lingering kiss against Cassian's lips before reluctantly untangling herself from his embrace.

As they rose from the bed and began to prepare for the day ahead, Cassian couldn't shake the feeling of gratitude that filled him. In Y/N's arms, he had found a love that was beyond measure, a love that filled his days with light and warmth. And as they made their way downstairs to join their friends for breakfast, he knew that no matter what challenges they faced, as long as they faced them together, they could overcome anything.

As Cassian and Y/N descended the stairs hand in hand, they were greeted by the warm embrace of their friends gathered in the grand hall. Azriel, ever silent and stoic, offered them a nod of acknowledgment, his eyes twinkling with hidden mirth as he observed the couple's disheveled appearance.

Feyre, radiant as ever, greeted them with a bright smile, her eyes alight with warmth and affection. "Good morning, you two," she said cheerfully, her voice carrying the promise of a day filled with celebration and joy.

Rhysand, the High Lord of the Night Court, stood at the head of the table, his regal presence commanding the attention of all who gathered. "You're just in time," he said with a grin, gesturing for them to take their seats. "We were starting to wonder if we'd have to send out a search party."

Mor, the vivacious and fearless cousin of the High Lord, winked playfully at Cassian and Y/N as they approached. "I hope you two weren't up to anything too scandalous," she teased, her laughter ringing through the hall.

Amren, the enigmatic and otherworldly member of their group, regarded them with a curious tilt of her head. "You seem rather... disheveled," she observed dryly, a hint of amusement coloring her words.

Cassian chuckled good-naturedly, exchanging a knowing glance with Y/N. "Just enjoying a quiet morning together," he replied with a grin, his gaze lingering affectionately on his beloved.

As they took their seats at the table, the air was filled with the anticipation of the coming Solstice celebrations. Around them, laughter and conversation flowed freely, the bonds of friendship and love that bound them all together stronger than ever.

And as they shared a meal in the company of those they held most dear, Cassian couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude wash over him. In this moment, surrounded by love and laughter, he knew that there was nowhere else he would rather be.

As breakfast came to an end on Solstice morning, a mischievous gleam lit up the eyes of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand. It was a tradition that had been upheld for years – a playful snowball fight in the crisp winter air, a chance for the brothers-in-arms to embrace the childlike joy of the season.

Excusing themselves with barely-contained excitement, the trio slipped away from the table, leaving Feyre with a puzzled expression and Mor and Y/N exchanging knowing glances.

"What do you think they're up to?" Feyre asked, a hint of curiosity in her voice as she watched the three men make their way towards the door.

Mor grinned, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Oh, you'll see," she replied cryptically, her lips quirking into a smirk.

Y/N laughed softly, her gaze following the retreating figures of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand. "Let's just say, it's a Solstice tradition," she explained, a fond smile playing at the corners of her lips.

As the three friends made their way out into the snow-covered landscape, the air filled with the sound of laughter and the echoing of snowballs being thrown. For a brief moment, they were transported back to simpler times, when their only care was the next snowball to dodge or the next target to hit.

And as they laughed and played amidst the falling snow, the bonds of brotherhood that bound them together grew stronger than ever, a testament to the enduring power of friendship and the joy of the season.

---

As the snow continued to fall gently outside, Y/N and Mor exchanged a knowing glance, a shared smirk dancing across their lips. With a conspiratorial wink, they both nodded towards Feyre, their eyes alight with mischief.

"Feyre," Y/N said, her voice filled with excitement, "we have a little surprise for you."

Feyre raised an eyebrow, curiosity flickering in her gaze as she watched her friends with interest. "Oh? What kind of surprise?" she asked, her tone laced with intrigue.

Mor's grin widened as she took Feyre's hand, leading her towards the door. "You'll see," she replied cryptically, her voice tinged with excitement. "It's a Solstice tradition."

With a flicker of power, they vanished from the room, reappearing in a flurry of snowflakes outside the cabin. Feyre blinked in surprise as she took in her surroundings, her eyes widening at the sight before her.

On the snowy hillside, Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand were engaged in a fierce snowball fight, their laughter ringing out through the crisp winter air. Despite their age and power, they moved with the grace and agility of young warriors, their faces alight with joy as they embraced the simple pleasure of the moment.

Feyre couldn't help but laugh as she watched the three Illyrians play like children, her heart swelling with affection for the men she loved as she joined Y/N and Mor on the porch.

"They never change, do they?" Feyre remarked, a fond smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Y/N shook her head, a soft chuckle escaping her. "No, they don't," she agreed, her gaze warm with affection. "But that's what makes them so endearing."

Mor nodded in agreement, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "While the boys are busy with their snowball fight, how about we go inside and warm up with some drinks?" she suggested, a playful glint in her eye.

Feyre grinned, nodding eagerly as she followed her friends into the cozy warmth of the cabin. As they settled by the fire with mugs of steaming hot chocolate, Feyre couldn't help but feel grateful for the bonds of friendship that surrounded her, and the simple joys of the season that brought them together.

As the laughter from outside began to die down, Y/N and Mor exchanged a knowing glance, their lips quirking into mischievous smiles. With a shared nod, they turned their attention back to Feyre, who looked at them expectantly.

"So, what's next in the Solstice tradition?" Feyre asked, her curiosity piqued.

Y/N and Mor shared a secretive grin before Y/N leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Well, after the snowball fight, the boys have another tradition," she explained, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Mor nodded in agreement, her gaze dancing with amusement. "They head into the sauna to warm up," she added, her tone playful.

Feyre's eyebrows shot up in surprise, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "Oh," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N and Mor burst into laughter at Feyre's reaction, their mirth filling the cabin with warmth. "Don't worry," Y/N reassured her between giggles, "it's nothing scandalous. They just like to relax and unwind after their snowball fight."

Mor nodded in agreement, her laughter subsiding into a fond smile. "Besides," she added with a playful wink, "it's not like we haven't seen it before."

Feyre's cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red at Mor's teasing remark, but she couldn't help but laugh along with her friends. Despite the embarrassment, there was a sense of camaraderie and friendship that filled her heart, a reminder of the deep bond that they shared.

As they settled back into the warmth of the cabin, Feyre couldn't help but feel grateful for the love and laughter of her friends, and the joyous traditions that brought them together on this special day. And as the sounds of the boys' laughter echoed through the snowy landscape outside, she knew that there was nowhere else she would rather be than surrounded by the warmth and love of those she held most dear.

-----

As the evening after the Solstice celebration unfolded, the air was still charged with the lingering magic of the festivities. Y/N and Cassian made their way back to their chamber, their steps filled with a quiet intensity, the anticipation of the night ahead palpable between them.

As they reached the door, Cassian's demeanor shifted suddenly, his gaze darkening with desire as he pinned Y/N against the sturdy wood. With a swift, decisive movement, he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that was both fierce and consuming.

Y/N gasped in surprise at the suddenness of his actions, but any protest was quickly swallowed by the heat of his kiss. Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as she responded with equal fervor, her heart pounding in her chest with a heady rush of desire.

Their bodies pressed together, every touch igniting a fire that burned hot and bright between them. Cassian's hands roamed eagerly over Y/N's curves, his touch leaving a trail of searing heat in its wake as he explored every inch of her with a hunger that matched her own.

In that moment, there was no past, no future – only the fierce intensity of their desire, the raw passion that consumed them both. And as they surrendered to the pleasure of each other's touch, the world outside faded away, leaving only the two of them in a whirlwind of sensation and longing.

Wrapped in each other's embrace, they lost themselves in the heat of the moment, their bodies moving together in a dance as old as time itself. And as they finally stumbled into their chamber, the air thick with the scent of desire, they knew that this night would be one they would never forget, a celebration of love and passion that would burn bright long after the Solstice fires had faded.

With a low growl of desire, Cassian urged Y/N to jump, his arms ready to catch her as she wrapped herself around his hips. With practiced ease, he swiftly opened the door, the cool air of their chamber rushing to meet them. Their lips remained locked in a passionate embrace as they stumbled inside, the world outside forgotten in the intensity of their desire.

Closing the door behind them with a firm push, Cassian wasted no time in carrying Y/N towards the bed, their lips still fused together in a feverish kiss. With a deft movement, he lowered her onto the soft mattress, his hands roaming hungrily over her body as he claimed her with a primal hunger.

Y/N moaned softly against his lips, her fingers tangling in his hair as she pulled him closer, her body arching beneath his touch. The heat between them intensified with every kiss, every caress, until they were both consumed by the flames of their passion.

As they surrendered to the pleasure of each other's touch, the room filled with the sounds of their shared desire, a symphony of moans and whispers that echoed through the night. And as they moved together in a dance as old as time itself, they knew that in each other's arms, they had found a love that burned brighter than any flame, a love that would endure for eternity.

With a hunger that could not be quenched, Cassian's hands eagerly sought out the fabric that separated him from Y/N's bare skin. With each piece of clothing he discarded, he uttered words of admiration and desire, his voice husky with longing.

As he peeled away the layers, his fingers traced the curves of her body, his touch igniting a fire that blazed hotter with each passing moment. With each garment that fell away, he marveled at the beauty before him, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of her exposed form.

"You're stunning," he murmured, his voice filled with reverence as he gazed upon her with awe. "More beautiful than I could ever put into words."

His words were like music to Y/N's ears, her heart swelling with love and desire at the adoration in his eyes. With trembling hands, she reached out to him, her fingers tracing the contours of his muscled chest as she pulled him closer, their bodies entwined in a passionate embrace.

In that moment, there were no words that could adequately express the depth of their desire, no gestures that could capture the intensity of their love. There was only the raw, primal connection between them, a bond that transcended time and space.

And as they surrendered to the passion that consumed them, their bodies moving together in a dance as old as time itself, they knew that in each other's arms, they had found a love that was truly eternal.

As Cassian's hands caressed her skin and his lips sought hers with a fervent hunger, Y/N's breath caught in her throat. In the midst of their passionate embrace, she found herself overcome with a longing that went beyond mere desire—a longing for something more, something that would bind them together in a way that nothing else could.

With a soft whimper, she pressed her lips against his ear, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke the words that had been weighing on her heart for so long. "Cassian," she murmured, her voice trembling with emotion, "it's time. I want to have a baby with you."

The words hung in the air between them, heavy with the weight of their shared dreams and desires. Y/N's heart raced with anticipation as she awaited Cassian's response, her fingers clutching desperately at his shoulders as she searched his eyes for any sign of hesitation or doubt.

But there was none to be found. In that moment, Cassian's gaze softened with an overwhelming tenderness, his heart swelling with love for the woman who stood before him. Without a word, he gathered her into his arms, holding her close as he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

"I've wanted this for so long," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "With you, Y/N, I want everything."

As Cassian shed his clothing with an urgency fueled by desire, Y/N's heart raced in anticipation of the intimate moment they were about to share. With each piece of fabric that fell away, the air crackled with electricity, the anticipation building with every passing second.

With a hungry glint in his eyes, Cassian closed the distance between them, his hands trailing over Y/N's trembling form as he pressed her gently back against the bed. With a low growl of desire, he claimed her lips in a searing kiss, his touch igniting a fire that burned hot and bright between them.

And then, with a whispered promise of love and devotion, he entered her, his length stretching her in a way that sent waves of pleasure coursing through her body. Y/N gasped in surprise at the sensation, her fingers digging into Cassian's shoulders as she arched beneath him, her senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of their connection.

As Cassian's movements became more urgent, more intense, Y/N's cries of pleasure echoed through the room, her voice ringing out with a raw, primal need that seemed to fill the very air around them. "Cassian!" she cried out, her voice a desperate plea for more.

Cassian's lips curved into a teasing smile as he continued to move within her, his touch driving her to the brink of ecstasy. "Louder, my love," he teased, his voice husky with desire. "I want the whole castle to hear you."

Y/N's cheeks flushed with embarrassment at his playful taunt, but she couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through her at the thought of being heard. With a breathless laugh, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer as she surrendered herself completely to the intoxicating pleasure of their shared desire.

In that moment, as they moved together in a dance as old as time itself, Y/N knew that there was nowhere else she would rather be than in the arms of the man she loved, surrendering herself completely to the intoxicating pleasure of their shared desire. And as their passion reached its crescendo, the world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them lost in the rapture of their love.

As their passion reached its zenith, Y/N felt an overwhelming surge of ecstasy wash over her, her senses consumed by the intensity of their connection. With each thrust, each caress, she felt herself spiraling higher and higher towards the peak of pleasure, her body trembling with the sheer intensity of their desire.

"Cassian!" she cried out, her voice echoing through the chamber with a raw, primal need that seemed to reverberate off the walls. In that moment, she felt as though every fiber of her being was alight with the flames of their shared passion, her world narrowing down to the man who held her in his arms.

But as her cries rang out into the night, Y/N couldn't shake the nagging sense of awareness that settled over her—a sense that they were not alone, that their intimate moment was being witnessed by more than just the two of them.

And then, with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she realized the truth. Everyone could hear her. Every member of the court, every servant, every guard—everyone knew what was happening behind closed doors.

The realization sent a flush of embarrassment rushing to her cheeks, but even as she blushed with shame, she couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through her at the thought of being heard. It was reckless, it was daring, but in that moment, it was also undeniably exhilarating.

As Cassian's movements grew more urgent, more intense, Y/N surrendered herself completely to the intoxicating pleasure of their shared desire, her cries of ecstasy ringing out into the night with a fervour that seemed to set the very air around them ablaze.

And in that moment, as they reached the peak of their passion together, Y/N knew that there was nowhere else she would rather be than in the arms of the man she loved, surrendering herself completely to the intoxicating pleasure of their shared desire, consequences be damned.

As the intensity of their passion began to ebb, Cassian gently guided Y/N into the curve of his strong, protective embrace. With a tender touch, he brushed away the stray strands of hair that clung to her damp forehead, his lips trailing soft kisses along her temple as he held her close.

"Did you enjoy yourself, my love?" he teased, his voice husky with lingering desire as he pressed his lips against her ear.

Y/N couldn't help but laugh softly at his playful tone, her heart swelling with love for the man who held her in his arms. "You know I did," she replied, her voice tinged with affection as she nuzzled closer against him.

Cassian chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against her skin as he held her tight. "You were quite vocal," he teased, his lips curling into a mischievous smile.

Y/N's cheeks flushed with embarrassment at the reminder of her earlier outburst, but even as she blushed, she couldn't suppress the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. "I couldn't help it," she admitted sheepishly, her voice barely above a whisper. "You just... you make me feel things I never knew were possible."

Cassian's smile softened at her words, his heart swelling with love for the woman who lay nestled against him. "And you make me feel the same way," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity.

In that moment, as they lay together in the quiet aftermath of their passion, surrounded by the warmth and love of their shared embrace, Y/N knew that there was nowhere else she would rather be than in the arms of the man she loved.

Cassian's playful tone shifted, his voice lowering to a husky whisper as he spoke. "You better get used to this, my love," he murmured, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "Because I don't plan on leaving this bedroom until I've filled you with my little Illyrian baby."

Y/N's breath caught in her throat at his words, a surge of desire coursing through her veins at the thought of carrying his child. She pressed herself closer against him, her heart pounding with anticipation as she whispered back, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

With a tender kiss, Cassian sealed their pact, his arms wrapping protectively around her as they settled into the warmth of their shared embrace. In that moment, as they basked in the afterglow of their passion, they knew that their love was not just a fleeting flame, but a bond that would endure for eternity—a bond that would be strengthened by the new life they would create together. And as they drifted off to sleep, their hearts beating as one, they embraced the promise of the future that lay ahead, filled with endless possibilities and boundless love.

-----

Bonus scene

As the intimate moment between Cassian and Y/N unfolded, a familiar presence brushed against Cassian's mind, a teasing voice echoing through their shared mental bond.

"Well, well, well," Rhysand's voice resonated in Cassian's thoughts, filled with amusement and playful banter. "I always thought Feyre and I were bad, but it seems like you and Y/N are giving us a run for our money. You two are like a pair of wild animals."

Cassian couldn't help but chuckle inwardly at Rhysand's teasing, his lips curling into a smirk as he replied silently through the bond. "What can I say, Rhys? When you find someone who sets your soul on fire, you can't help but let the passion take over."

The mental exchange was filled with camaraderie and brotherly jest, a testament to the strong bond that existed between the two warriors. And as Cassian and Y/N continued to revel in the warmth and love of their shared embrace, they knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would always have each other—and the unwavering support of their friends by their side.

Tagging some:

@callsign-magnolia

@kmc1989

@hardballoonlove

@senawashere

@hookslove1592

@marvel-molly

@lucky7rosie

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar x reader #acotar x you #acotar #cassian #cassian acosf #cassian x you #cassian angst #cassian x reader #cassian acotar #acotar fanfiction #cassian fanfic #general of the night court

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thesherrinfordfacility · 10 months

Text

okay let's get them hard truths out in the open following episode 6, bearing in mind that i am in the UK and am therefore chronically sleep-deprived, and have watched the Feral Domestic™ maybe only like oh 7 times:

crowley is as much at fault as aziraphale. they are both as bad as each other. their own individual idiosyncrasies are literally the other's emotional downfall and if im honest im not entirely sure there's any way they can adequately move past it.

waxed on and on and on about it, but aziraphale's issue is not that he has any allegiance to heaven. he doesn't at all, and that is obvious in his initial reaction to the metatron, in that he essentially says that he knows his place and it is not Up Above. it is right there in the bookshop, and with crowley (even if he didn't consciously think it that explicitly at the time). he doesn't want any part of the heaven that it currently is, he has had enough and is tired of trying to be the angel that hides who he is and what he wants from his existence. that much is very much clear.

but the mantra throughout most of life is to be the change you want to see in the world. look at the major societal issues that are happening in the world today; people are rising up and fighting for what is right, and what they believe in, and wanting to make changes. now look at this opportunity that aziraphale has been given. regardless of the questionable motive of the metatron offering it to him; if you were in his position, could you say you'd find it easy to refuse that?

the issue here with aziraphale is that he (again, ill harp on about it until the cows come home) thinks that crowley - this demon that isn't a good demon because he is good and kind and gentle - would want to have his place in making that change happen; be by aziraphale's side whilst they create the world and heaven that is different from the largely shit one they've always known, hated, and feared. this is where the Pedestal comes in; like i said before, aziraphale has now been confronted with the fact that this demon, his best friend and love of his life, is acting in the way he's always acted but that aziraphale refuses to acknowledge... because to acknowledge crowley's shortcomings (which ill discuss in a sec) would be to question aziraphale's faith in him, and mean falling from the pedestal that has been aziraphale's status quo for the last few thousand years at minimum.

edit: this also needed adding because it touches on aziraphale's tendency to hold himself superior to crowley, which he also does in the Domestic scene.

crowley's issue is twofold. one, he cannot move on from the fall. second, that he is sometimes a manipulative and childish shit. the first is obvious, and his recent experiences with heaven have only compounded this (ie his conversation with gabriel/goob, where he lays into him about gabriel's part in the cruelty shown towards aziraphale to the point he almost makes goob kill/injure himself). crowley can also however be incredibly cruel borne out of his own pain. there were major hints in s2 that not only did crowley fall (no matter what the metatron says, im still not convinced he fell for only asking questions) but he fell from a great sodding height that in his mind should have made him untouchable. my thoughts on morality in heaven have already been discussed, but that must have had a huge impact on crowley; it is no wonder that it's a sore point and he feels bitter, resentful, and angry.

in the above context, id want nothing to do with heaven either. but crowley doesn't communicate and im guessing that his feelings about the fall are a No Go area in terms of what he's shared with aziraphale... so for crowley to assume that aziraphale turned down the metatron is grossly unfair - how was aziraphale necessarily meant to know how deep his trauma (if we're applying human mental health constructs) runs? he isn't to know that at all - so it does track that aziraphale would think that crowley would want to help him make a difference so they don't have to keep getting involved in the toxicity that is the heaven/hell politico-moral dichotomy.

what also upset me about the Domestic was the kiss. i loved it for what it was in isolation and it was a long time coming, and a huge movement in the dance they constantly have with each other, but it was in essence manipulative. i realise crowley was on his last emotional straw and yes, perhaps the love and devotion got too much for him to contain... but he literally just stood there and heard aziraphale tell him that he wanted crowley and he wanted them to be together. there were no qualms at all that aziraphale loves him as much as he loves aziraphale. so, what was the kiss meant to prove?

to my mind, it was manipulation; specific, a temptation. whilst very romantic and 'sweep him off his feet with the violins playing', it was also non-consensual and unwarranted on crowley's part - to the point of being derogatory and redundant (lets be clear: not a criticism on Neil for adding the kiss, im purely talking about crowley as a character and his Choices here). there was nothing to prove, nothing that that kiss could have possibly convinced aziraphale to do. so the only thing that leaves, imo, is that it was a temptation. crowley does not typically use temptation in this way, or at least that's the impression ive had throughout s1 and s2, so he chooses now is the time? to tempt aziraphale into staying with him? of course he does!

he's desperate, but also childish and immature and completely ignorant of what aziraphale is actually saying to him. aziraphale never denied him; aziraphale wanted him in this opportunity exactly by his side as he always has been. but that didn't fit with what crowley wanted, so he tried to make aziraphale bend to his will. aziraphale says the fatal words "i forgive you", but if he has (as i suspect he has) realised that crowley was trying to manipulate him... well, id probably say something as damning to crowley as 'i forgive you' too.

when aziraphale said 'nothing last forever', i realise crowley took that to mean him and the life that they built together, but it obviously wasn't that at all. aziraphale is saying that they have eternity ahead of them, that he wants to spend it with crowley, whatever has to end around them (ahem the world? apocalypse from s1, anyone?). aziraphale demonstrated consistently throughout s2 that he is trying to give crowley his own agency where heaven/hell are concerned (paraphrased but: "I want you to help me but if you don't want to, you are free to leave"). crowley however seemed that he was constantly one foot out the door in case things got Too Much (which, you know - valid) but aziraphale really did his best to make crowley not only not feel suffocated but also that crowley was wanted. and for anyone that is a tough balancing act.

the two of them have had 6000+ years of Not Really Communicating. this is the detritus that remains when they don't, and it was absolutely needed in this season. for them to break apart and break in and of themselves. s3 needs to be where they learn more about themselves than each other, and stop believing that the other is infallible, because such thinking - worship, blind faith - only ends badly.

#good omens #not the analysis this fandom wants #but the analysis that it needs #i will proof read this at some point so if shit doesnt read well or make sense just pretend that it does #aziraphale meta #s2 meta #feral domestic/final fifteen meta

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