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#this was honestly supposed to just be three paragraphs of fluff
iciatheguardess · 4 months
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Hiiii it’s meeee elsie
conflicted Elsie
Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death
but like
I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.
these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.
But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.
I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.
But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…
If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.
…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…
…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.
Ok. I've read over this a couple times.
First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.
To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.
TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.
I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.
I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.
I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.
Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.
Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.
But no matter what always remember:
WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.
Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️
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untilthcyrot · 1 month
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ooc: meet the mun
NAME?: Christina
PRONOUNS?: she/her
MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: as of right this moment eileen, jude, kelly, nadja, ramsey, and winnie seem to be the loudest but that doesn't mean the others can't be coaxed out ;)
RP PET PEEVES?: I would say people who are waaaay too demanding, such as expecting others to reply to them pretty much as soon as their own reply drops on the dash. RP is supposed to be fun and relaxing but when others make you feel like you aren't fast enough, it makes for a horrible experience. Also people who make it their job to constantly call people out because they don't agree with something or wouldn't do something a certain way. Like why are you so worried?? RPC Police much??
EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: I started writing on tumblr roughly around 2011 because I remember season four of True Blood had just wrapped up and a former friend convinced me to join this rpg and write Sookie. I was like rpg what?? What dat?? I've been writing Sookie ever since, too lol you can find her on @sookiestackhcuse hint hint wink wink <3
FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: I live for all three if I'm being honest but it really depends on two things - what my current mood is and what the muses are feeling, too. There are days when I liiiiive for the angst and need as much of it as I can get, but I love a good balance of fluff, too. Smut would definitely come third, like a little treat when ships are going good and hot and heavy lmao.
PLOTS OR MEMES?: I'm honestly down for both. I think a lot of good plots can come from random memes that are sent in and I've definitely enjoyed seeing how one symbol or sentence starter can turn into a thread I treasure. Then again, coming up with cool plots and exploring them and watching them grow is just as thrilling! If it's an intricate plot then yeah probably need to actually plan it.
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: Listen, I'm all over the map when it comes to the length of replies. In one reply it might be a paragraph, in the next I've become carried away with multiple of them, and then in the next one shorten it again. I think it depends on the depth of the thread itself. I don't try to force any length, but at least give enough for my partner to reply to. I think that's what counts - quality over quantity.
TIME TO WRITE?: It's 1am right now if that gives you any indication of when I actually really settle in lol. Nighttime with my headphones on and some instrumental music is when I get my best work done.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: You know, I think having a good "relationship" with my muses so that I can connect with them means that I put a part of myself in them as well as find something of them in me. Yes, even the villains who seemingly have no redeeming qualities lol.
tagged by: i think it was you @chaos--mode right lmaoooo
tagging: @shtkickr @guttcrson @gatekeepcr @rayofsunshinc @omniterror @applesdrowned @kindofuneven @deathsfollow @bloodsalted @ruinedmyself @unbearablyindifferent and anyone else have at! <3
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spxcemuses · 2 years
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*    knowing  your  partner  well  can  potentially  make  writing  a  lot  easier,    repost,    do  not  reblog.
 meet the mun.
— basics
NAME:  Space
PRONOUNS:  She/Her
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord, mutuals only, please. I’m also ok w/Tumblr messages but they’re wonky at times tbh
SINGLE / TAKEN: Single
— three facts
𝙞. I stand at a very tall height of 5′4″ (that was laced with sarcasm; i’m short)
𝙞𝙞.  getting a bachelor’s degree in studio art that hopefully will benefit me in the future!
𝙞𝙞𝙞. i am a night owl and tend to stay up late (unless i have to do something the next day that is early)
— experience
Earliest RP experience I’ve ever had was maybe... 2013/2014 on Deviantart. I didn’t formally start RPing until maybe 2015-ish. I’ve RPed since then with mainly canon characters (and occasionally OCs but that never ended well w/me honestly ;w; ).
I’ve RPed on Discord, Tumblr, Deviantart. and the occasional roleplaying site (Shamchat, Rolechat, etc.)
— sub-genres
FLUFF:  I don’t write a lot of it but lemme tell ya that I love  fluff,, I actually don’t put my muses in these scenarios enough aUUGH 😩. I like it, though!
SMUT: I’m ok with writing smut (even though I say I’m not very good at it;;), but I’d like muses to know each other at least once or twice first (unless we specifically plot out a one-night-stand type thing) & am mutual-leaning in that aspect. I am over 18 and would prefer those to write with me to be the same, both character and mun.
ANGST: Eh, I’m 50/50 on it. I don’t write it a lot but I can if needed. I don’t mind a bit of angst that leads to fluff or just outright angst haha-
— plots versus memes
I’m okay with both, but I prefer plotting sometimes. It doesn’t have to be too serious/in-depth, but some light plotting so I have a reference/guideline as to *where* the RP will go when we both write things out. I also use memes as either ice-breakers or if I don’t have a lot of creativity on the brain.
— long or short replies
I try to match my partner’s length, if possible. I write a few sentences to 1 paragraph minimum, and usually go for 2-3 paragraphs. My sentences are wordy/lengthy, though.
— best time to write
Whenever I have free time, I suppose? Usually at night (cause creative juices flow then) but any time except morning works out!
𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙: by @droppingdonkeys ​(nO I DON’T WANNA BE IT, PLEASE!! /j)
𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜: you lovely person reading this <3
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Rating: 5/5 Stars Summer was kicked out from Brown University due to burning down her sorority house…by accident. Her father pulled some strings for her so she could finish out her junior and senior year at Briar U. The only problem is the sorority will not take her and now she has nowhere to live. But her brother Dean knows some of his old hockey buddies need a fourth roommate since he moved out and graduated. Now Summer is living with three hot dudes and has feelings for one of them. Fitzy (Colin) is a hockey player and a huge nerd. He has feelings for Summer, but she is too much for him. Can these two fight their feelings or will they give in?
The Chase is like the first love you ever had. Just imagine how you felt when you first fell in love and amplify it for this book. That's how I felt, and I just could not get enough of this book.
The Chase is a book that took me less than 48 hours to read and honestly, I have not read a book that fast in a very, very long day, which makes me feel proud of myself.
There is a Spotify playlist for the Briar U/Off Campus series (literally is the playlist title) and I typically only listen to instrumental music when reading but this playlist was everything. It amplified the emotions of this book, made it more fun, and just made you really feel like you were the one falling in love. It was amazing.
When I first started reading this book, I got to say that Summer was giving me major Alexis Rose vibes from Schitt's Creek. As the book went on you really see Summer for who she really is and see a growth in her. Fitz calls Summer fluff in the beginning of the book and I honestly think we see Summer super shallow in the first few chapters because we are supposed to view her as Fitz would.
Speaking of Fitz, I really enjoyed him for being a hockey player and a nerd. I like that he is not the typical jock stereotype and is more realistic.
This book is filled with so much angst that it is so good. It does take a while for them to get together, but the tension, the banter, and the angst was perfection.
The Chase does touch on ADHD and learning disabilities. Summer has ADHD and it affects her with writing assignments since she cannot express herself when writing. She is constantly struggling with focus and hyper. I for one have ADHD and can relate somewhat to her. I noticed she had a lot of squirrel moments, and I was like that's me! I personally have never had issues with organizing essays/papers in high school or college like Summer does, but I used to outline my papers differently than my peers just like Summer does. Summer will color code her info and lay them out on a floor to visualize the structure of the paper. For me I would look up my information and copy and paste the information with the website url into a different word document. I would then have the page pulled up while writing the paper and color code the information to know if I used it and what paragraphs it was in, but I would be paraphrasing/putting it in my own words then doing citations. So, I totally get Summer when it comes to organizing papers or homework differently since outlines for me were hard to do since my brain works so differently.
Something to take not of is that there are some triggers such as sexual assault so please take care when reading this book.
The tropes you can expect are: opposites attract, grumpy x sunshine, not like the other girls, not like the other guys, friends' brother, sports romance, college romance, kind of forced proximity, misunderstandings (it is not that bad since I hate the miscommunication trope, but this was written well), and no 3rd act break up.
Be prepared for a lot of laughs and some football players twerking in bathing suits (some in speedos may I add) at one point in the book. This was just a fun read and I think a lot of people will enjoy it. If you ever read anything by Erin Watt, you will like this book because for those who do not know: Elle Kennedy is a part of the Erin Watt writing duo.
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dismalzelenka · 3 years
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Dawn
Heyyy! I'm breaking my DA hiatus to submit this brief moderately lengthed ok maybe it got a little out of hand fluff idek anymore anyway it’s for @dapolyshippingday!
Takes place as sort of a postlude in the Your Arms Feel Like Home universe. Cullen/Amell/Jowan, 4500 words. Explicit. AO3 Link Here.
Enjoy!
There was always something otherworldly about seeing the dawn through the skylight windows. Solona was plenty used to seeing those telltale streaks of color from the other end of the day, usually following hours of binge drinking or manic painting.
Waking up to them was much, much rarer.
It took a minute or two to shake the sleep from dream clouded eyes, transfixed as she was on whatever weird liminal feeling this bizarrely early morning instilled in her. Piece by piece, memories of last night returned.
For once, she had agreed to keep the apartment booze-free for a full twenty-four hours. Jowan had insisted. She'd protested thoroughly, of course. "Come on, it's my birthday!" she'd begged through pleading, sparkling eyes, but he'd remained firm.
"Cullen? Back me up here!"
He'd merely shrugged, carefully adjusting the glasses her flailing had knocked askew. "There's a first time for everything, isn't there?"
His flat response drew a rare chuckle from Jowan, who up til that point had been nervously smoothing the front of his blue and black striped button up with unsteady hands.
This was new territory for all of them.
"I swear, love, you'll be happy to have remained sober for this," Jowan promised. The quickly masked wince on his face further highlighted the unprecedented nature of the situation. An unfamiliar familiarity. A pet name she hadn't heard in months, one that felt as foreign now to her ears as it seemed to taste on his lips.
Cullen cleared his throat and broke the uncomfortable silence. "Shall we be off then? Wouldn't want to be late."
"Says you," Solona grumbled. She grabbed her signature leather jacket and bent down to finish lacing up her boots. "Neither of you have said where you're taking me."
"That's what surprises are," Jowan said, affectionately ruffling her hair.
There it was again. A telltale stiffness to a familiar motion, a measure of distance to something that used to flow as naturally as moving water.
The cab ride was silent, but not entirely uncomfortable. Cullen had passed the driver a crumpled slip of paper that presumably contained the address, muttering an awkward thank you in broken Orlesian before clambering into the back seat.
Jowan sat to her right, plaid green and brown scarf clashing horribly as usual with his shirt, shaggy hair unkempt alongside what was at this point a perpetual five o'clock shadow. He had a way of looking thoroughly uncomfortable in almost every setting imaginable, but the warmth of his hand on her thigh told her he was trying his best today.
Cullen sat at her left, curly blonde hair styled back neatly with gel. He'd chosen a maroon sport coat to wear over a black polo with a golden lion stitched onto the pocket. Tucked into dark grey jeans, naturally. Solona doubted the man had ever owned a nice pair of slacks in his life. She'd seen his wardrobe. It was one set of dress blues, two officer uniforms, a single, raggedy set of khakis, and fifteen identical black shirts next to exactly three pairs of jeans: blue, grey, and black, all cut the exact same way.
Maybe she'd get him a suit tailored for his birthday next year.
His boot knocked softly into hers, and when she looked up he was smiling softly at her with something strangely close to adoration, and now it was her turn to shift uncomfortably in her seat.
“Everything alright?” Jowan murmured.
There was an odd sort of energy in the cab between the three of them. It was as though no one wanted to be the first to speak above a whisper, like the slightest increase in volume would shatter these small and tentative beginnings slowly unfolding across their laps. There would be no first kiss tonight; no, it was far too late for that. There had been a myriad of kisses over the years, a plethora of just plain fucking with the occasional lovemaking sprinkled in, all punctuated by explosive fights and violent nights alone. She had words for all of those things, but this? She didn’t know what to call this. There was nothing in her vocabulary that described the kind of energy that surrounded them.
“I think so,” she said, the words barely a whisper by the time they made it to her lips.
“Alors...” the cab driver began tentatively. “Lequel de vous est l’amant?”
Solona’s head shot up, the suspended stillness shattered by his gravelly voice as the words sank in. “Um,” she began. “I don’t...what...” She felt her cheeks turn pink and she elbowed Jowan in the ribs for confirmation. “Hey, did that mean what I think it did?” she whispered.
Jowan’s face was beet red. “He...ah...yes, probably,” he stammered. “He wants to know which of us is...you know. The um.” He lowered his voice to an even quieter whisper. “The lover.”
A nervous giggle shot out from her lips. “Oh. Oh! Right. Yep. Hah, I um.” She scrambled for both of their hands. She didn’t even have to look at Cullen to see the flush of crimson on his cheeks.
Maker’s balls, how old was she, twelve?
The driver, to his credit, seemed to pick up the implication. “Ahh,” he said, eyebrows waggling. “Ménage à trois, eh?“
Jowan sank further into his seat. “Maker,” he muttered.
“Yes?” she squeaked.
“Ah, très bien,” he nodded sagely as he pulled the cab into a cramped parking space. “Bonne chance!”
“Maker’s breath,” she heard Cullen mutter. He clambered out of the cab the second the driver parked it. Jowan quickly followed suit, offering her a hand to help her out. He refused to meet her eyes.
“So...” she began, fighting the laugh toying at the edge of her breath. “Who’s supposed to be paying him?”
“Oh!” Cullen dug through his coat pocket and pulled out a crumpled wad of bills he then promptly thrust in through the open window. “Um. Yes. Right. Thank you.”
The cab driver laughed. “Merci!” he said. He winked, rolled the window up, and drove off, leaving the three of them standing, rather flustered, at the curb.
“Well,” Solona said finally. “Alright then, where the fuck are we--”
She trailed off as she looked around. In front of her stood the spiraling marble columns of the Musée de Montsimmard, carefully chiseled marble steps rising elegantly to a massive glass entryway where crowds of well dressed people milled about. A smile broke out on Jowan’s face. “Well,” he said finally. “We’re here.”
She’d been to the museum plenty of times already, of course. Between research for her coursework and the occasional casual tour, she was intimately familiar with its layout. Lately, however, embroiled as she was in her writing, she hadn’t been in quite some time, and the familiar delicate wire structures gracing the front pavilion felt like a warm welcome home.
“I hope you like the exhibit we’ve come to see,” Cullen said. She was suddenly aware of him standing behind her, warmth radiating across her back as he gently rested his chin on her shoulder. She glanced tentatively at Jowan, bracing herself for his reaction, but for once, he seemed oddly content, not even a whisper of a grimace on his features. He simply extended his hand again, smile never leaving his face.
“It is quite striking,” he said, eyes crinkling with mischief as he laced his fingers with hers.
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What the fuck have you two been up to?”
“Patience, my dear,” Cullen whispered into her ear, sending a warm prickle straight down her spine. He enveloped her other hand with his, a much rougher grip than Jowan’s but no less gentle, and the two of them tugged her forward.
The foyer awaited her, the familiar cream colored walls, plaques, paintings, and sculptures welcoming her in with soft familiarity. She paused for a moment to take it all in, drinking in the comfortable, muted stillness with an almost desperate sort of need. She could come here every day and never tire of it.
Cullen and Jowan, however, had other ideas. “Come on, this isn’t what we came here for,” Jowan said with a grin.
Solona pouted but relented as they tugged her toward the reception counter. Jowan strode forward, and Solona took a moment to appreciate the uncharacteristic amount of confidence he had gained since they’d moved to Orlais. She spoke the language, yes; she had to, for her degree, obviously, but Jowan was the only one of the three of them who was comfortably, conversationally fluent so far.
It was nice, seeing him like this. He’d never been particularly confident in social situations back in Kirkwall. Neither of them had been, really; she was always just better at hiding it behind humor and dismissive indifference, but it was hard to relax in a city filled with the ghosts of so many of her worst memories. Montsimmard was a fresh start for them all, and Jowan was beginning to thrive in the freedom of it.
She and Cullen approached the counter after him. The woman behind the desk, a willowy, freckled, mousey-haired woman with soft brown eyes and an even softer voice stared at her for a moment, wide eyed. “Madam Amell!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “We are so excited to have you here with us today! Please, follow me!”
Solona felt her eyebrows climb her forehead. “Okay, seriously you two, what the fuck is going on?” she said finally.
Cullen said nothing, simply nodding his head after the woman with a faint smile playing on his lips. Solona pouted but relented.
The main exhibition hall branched off to several smaller rooms. They followed the receptionist into one of them, and what Solona saw knocked the air straight from her lungs.
“Thank you all for joining us today!” a guide announced from the podium. “As many of you know, the Musée de Montsimmard rose from the ashes of what was once, for centuries, the largest Circle of Magi in Orlais.We are forever grateful for the patronages that have allowed this incredible undertaking, and continue to allow it to this day.
“For centuries, our city has shined a beacon for anyone with magic shimmering in their veins. In recent decades we have stood firm against countless onslaughts against the personal freedoms of those once caged within these walls. Today, we are showcasing works by a remarkable woman, an artist of incredible talent who has overcome so many of the very challenges this city has striven to eliminate since the Circles were first dissolved. This exhibition is a tribute to mages everywhere: the celebrated, the hated, the many survivors of untold tragedy, and the memories of those who never saw the sun rise on their liberation.”
“Jowan?” Solona felt tears in the corners of her eyes. “Cullen? What is this?”
Cullen said nothing and simply wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulder. Jowan stood at her other side and slipped an arm snugly around her waist.
“Everyone, in honor of the survivors of the horrific Tranquil Solution, in honor of mages everywhere, we present: Liberté!”
“That’s...I...”
In the center of the exhibit was a painting, her painting. A crumbling tower rose in the background. A girl in the foreground stood in rags, a girl with dark curly hair, a girl that represented everything she wished she could have had in her childhood, stood in the forefront, one arm outstretched overhead, triumphantly shooting a beam of light to the heavens as the sun peeked over a horizon of brilliant blues and purples and twinkling stars.
The guide was now reading a brief biography of the artist, of her, but his voice faded into static as she stood in shocked silence. She could recall every moment of painting that image with sparkling clarity, every sleepless night and lyrium binge and emptied bottle of liquor swept to the wayside in manic obsession.
The finishing touches had been done without electricity, by candlelight and mage light, in despairing silence while the streets of Kirkwall burned.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand, we left all of that behind, I thought it was lost forever, how did you--how did either of you--”
“The rest of the precinct helped,” Cullen said wryly. “We went and salvaged it all from your old apartment after the dust settled. It came over with me when I finally packed up and met the two of you for good, and the rest of it was all him.” He gestured at Jowan, who was beaming.
“I may have pulled some strings with some colleagues here,” he admitted. “I was hesitant at first, and certainly not very hopeful, but the director here was, ah, quite enthusiastic about the collection once she saw it and heard your story.”
Solona sniffled and leaned her weight into their arms. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
“Would you like us to give you some space?” Jowan asked softly.
She shook her head. “No,” she sniffed. “No. Don’t go.”
The rest of the evening passed in a daze. At some point, the curator approached her and had a conversation that must have been coherent, given the business card that went home with her after the fact, but she would have been lying if she said she remembered what sorts of words were exchanged.
The cab ride home was an equally hazy affair, one with much less decorum than the trip there. She watched the street lights tick by as she lay in Jowan’s arms, feet propped up in Cullen’s lap, taking solace in the weighty feeling of his hands on her calves. It was strange, this feeling settling into her limbs. It was intoxicatingly euphoric, whatever this was. It felt like sinking into a warm bath at the end of a long day, like putting on a familiar, well-worn sweater that smells faintly of someone you love--
The soft edges slammed into focus.
She sat up immediately. “Stop the cab,” she said abruptly. “Stop the cab, I have to get out, I have to--”
The cab driver shrugged and pulled over, and she scrambled out over Jowan’s lap, almost tripping directly into the pavement. The world suddenly felt too small, the walls were closing in and her chest was gripped by an alarmingly familiar ache and an equally intense, crippling fear.
This was wrong. This was wrong, because there was no way, no way on this earth this was the correct version of her life.
She felt her knees hit the sidewalk and squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t open them. If she did, she would be standing in Kirkwall again, and she wasn’t sure if that was something she could bear the weight of right now.
“Solona.”
Jowan’s voice tugged at the edges of her consciousness. She shook her head. She felt her chest heaving with sobs. Distantly, in the back of her mind, she was aware she was making a scene, but she didn’t know how to hold any of it in. She never had.
“Solona, what’s wrong?” Cullen’s voice this time, floating over her, filled with a familiar confusion.
“I don’t want to wake up,” she gasped through the splitting ache in her chest. “I don’t want to go back. I can’t.”
“We don’t have to, love.” Jowan wrapped her hands in his and helped her stand as Cullen supported her from behind. “This is home now.”
Solona opened her eyes. She could see the street lamps reflecting on Jowan’s cheeks, also wet with tears as he brushed her cheek with his fingers. “This is home,” he repeated, more firmly this time.
“He’s right,” Cullen murmured behind her. She turned and met his gaze, the air slowly returning to her lungs in tiny increments. “Last I checked, we’re all here to stay.”
She nodded slowly, incredulously, looking around at the shops and traffic lights, and at the handful of onlookers glancing over in apparent concern. The air smelled like lavender and magnolia and nothing at all like Kirkwall’s murky blend of industrial smoke and stale saltwater. The signs were all in delicate Orlesian script with the occasional translation beneath here and there. Somewhere to her right, a woman unlocked her car with a dismissive wave of her hand and not a single other person seemed to take notice.
“This is home,” she murmured.
Jowan wiped the tears from her face as Cullen planted a kiss on her forehead. “Home,” Jowan repeated.
“Which, incidentally, is only three blocks away, if you both fancy some fresh air,” Cullen pointed out. “At least, I hope I’m reading that sign correctly.”
The laugh exploded from Solona’s chest, so suddenly she almost didn’t recognize the sound. She turned and planted a kiss square on his lips, then whirled around and kissed Jowan in turn. Reality was shifting again, as it so often did for her, but for the first time in her life, it didn’t feel so bad. 
Her shoes were off before she even made it to the front door. Cullen helped her out of her jacket as her fingers made hasty work of the buttons on Jowan’s shirt. Jowan’s lips met hers, softly at first, with only the slightest hesitation, as Cullen slipped her blouse off of her shoulders. The sounds of two more pairs of shoes hitting the floor rang behind her as she leaned into the kiss. She scraped her teeth across Jowan’s lip and drew a weak moan from his throat that sent shivers of anticipation shooting through her core.
She felt Cullen’s stubble graze her shoulder as he planted a string of hot kisses down her shoulder. Her bra came undone, and she flung it clumsily away from her without a single care for where it landed. She almost tripped over her pants as the three of them stumbled to the bedroom, and she cursed quietly as she kicked them away.
Cullen’s hands trailed down to her hips, then back up to her chest, his touch rough and warm as Jowan buried his fingers in her hair. Cullen rolled a nipple between his fingers and she gasped into Jowan’s mouth, every nerve on overdrive as her body craved more.
Her body crashed onto the mattress. Cullen clambered on the bed with her, cradling her head in his lap as Jowan pulled away and positioned himself between her legs. It was Cullen’s turn to kiss her now, fervent and passionate. He smelled like mint and aftershave and for a moment all she could focus on was the way his tongue felt against hers.
Jowan parted her gently with his fingertips. Solona shuddered and gasped when he closed his lips around her clit, warmth blooming between her thighs with the sweet ache of arousal.
Cullen swirled his fingers around her nipples as he cupped her breasts with both hands, pinching with just enough pressure to send lightning through her spine. She reached up, blindly, to touch him, any part of him, but he pulled his hands away and closed them over hers. “Not yet,” he whispered into her mouth. “This is for you right now.”
She could only moan in assent, eyes squeezed shut as Jowan’s tongue between her legs sent her spiraling higher and higher.
“There we go,” Cullen murmured, gently stroking her hair. He shifted his legs slightly as he leaned in to kiss her again.
“Fuck,” she whimpered. The static began to build. “Please.”
“Let go,” Cullen whispered.
And she did. She hit her peak and cried out, body trembling under wave after wave of euphoric bliss as Jowan gently brought her back to earth. She slumped back in Cullen’s lap, letting her fingers trail up his torso as he ran his fingers through her curls.
Jowan kissed his way up to her navel, cradling her trembling body with his arms as he planted delicate kisses along her stomach, trailing upward until he gently captured one of her nipples between his teeth.
Cullen slipped out from his position beneath her head and took Jowan’s place at the foot of the bed as she writhed under Jowan’s touch. “Kiss me, please,” she whispered. She could taste herself on Jowan’s lips, was drowning under his touch, losing herself in the sensations of hands and fingers and lips.
She gasped when Cullen entered her, agonizingly slowly, both hands gently grasping her by the hips as he sank into her with deliberate, measured intensity. The friction made her body sing, and she felt her hips moving almost of their own accord, begging him to move faster.
She would have asked out loud, but Jowan’s fingers trailing down her collarbone, his lips ghosting hot kisses down her ear and across her neck, had left her incapable of finding words for much of anything.
“In my mouth,” she finally managed to gasp, fingers closing around Jowan’s wrist. “I want you in my mouth.”
“Anything for you,” he whispered.
She tipped her head back and let her lips close around the tip of his length. It was his turn to shudder as she swirled her tongue around the head. She reached up and wrapped her fingers around his shaft, closing them just tight enough to slowly pump him as Cullen drove into her, each stroke intentional and methodical and filling her with a need so intense it was almost painful.
Where her end was vocal and filled with explosive fireworks, Jowan’s was gentle and quiet. He instinctively moved to withdraw, but she tapped him on the thigh and shook her head ever so slightly, mentally pleading for him not to move. She needed to taste him, needed it so badly it was driving her frantic with desire. She caught his hand in hers and squeezed it, gentle and reassuring as she met his eyes a split second before he gripped back tightly, eyes closing, hips bucking into her mouth as he came.
And Maker, was he a beautiful sight when he did, the way his tousled brown hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, his freckled chest heaving as he caught his breath. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he squeezed them shut, the faintest shy smile blooming across his face.
He was breathtaking, and in this moment she wondered how she had ever pushed him away. She prayed she never would again.
Cullen paused then, withdrawing from her and drawing a whine of protest from her lips. He held out a hand and pulled her gently upright into a deep kiss. “Sit on my face,” he murmured teasingly against her lips. “I want to taste you too.”
She wasn’t sure what possessed her to ask it. She’d never really speculated overmuch on the nature of their relationship with each other at this point; she’d never seen them be particularly affectionate with each other without her involved. Part of her, truthfully, feared the answer, feared what it would do to this fragile sense of tranquility she’d finally managed to grasp, but the question slipped from her love-drunk lips before she could hold it in:
“Can you kiss each other?”
Cullen’s eyebrows raised, and she heard Jowan shift on the bed behind her. Anxiety gripped her suddenly, and she nervously began to shrink into herself. “You don’t...you don’t have to,” she stammered. “It would...I think it would...”
“I think it would be nice,” Jowan finished. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
“As do I,” Cullen murmured reassuringly. He took her hands in his and squeezed them, and when she looked closer, a shy flush had crept into his cheeks.
She scooted back on the bed then, equal parts reassured and transfixed as their lips met. Jowan’s kisses were always tentative at first, each brush of his lips a question softly begging for an answer. Cullen kissed back firmly, decisive and precise, one hand nestling gently along Jowan’s jawline, the other winding into Jowan’s hair.
It was one thing to kiss Jowan. It was another thing entirely to watch Jowan be kissed. Jowan melted into Cullen’s arms, gripping tightly to his back as Cullen claimed his lips, then pulled away and nipped gently at his jaw, trailing kisses down his neck. The way they moved together, hands seeking purchase, bodies aligned, filled her with a need she didn’t even know she had, and she reached between her legs and slipped two fingers into herself with a breathless moan.
She pumped in and out of herself, rubbing furiously at her clit with her thumb, letting out an audible gasp when Jowan disengaged and slowly sank to his knees, hands gripping Cullen’s hips and thighs as he slowly took Cullen’s cock in his mouth. “Oh, fuck,” she whispered. “Fuck, that is. Maker. You’re both so beautiful.”
“Wait,” Cullen murmured. He ran his fingers through Jowan’s hair before reaching down and gently tugging him to his feet. “I want both of you.”
Solona couldn’t keep her hands off of him as he positioned himself on the bed beneath her. Jowan knelt between Cullen’s legs, and when he looked up at her through sweat soaked hair she almost came right then.
How was he so beautiful? How were they both so beautiful?
How close had she come to losing them both?
And then Cullen’s tongue swiped her clit and her thoughts sank into blissful surrender. She fought to keep her eyes open as she rode him, shuddering when he moaned into her. Jowan’s head bobbed up and down on Cullen’s cock, one hand wrapped around the base of it, the other pressed into the mattress. Her breathing quickened as Cullen traced shapes into her slit, teasing at the tip of her clit until she felt her limbs would catch on fire.
She couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. It was too much, everything was too much, and she was lost without an anchor in a wash of sensation and emotion. She searched for Jowan’s hand on the mattress. Jowan laced his fingers into hers and squeezed, and she wondered if it were possible for her heart to explode with the intensity of it all.
“Please,” she murmured again. She clung to them both, Jowan’s hand in her right, Cullen’s gripped tightly to her left, thighs aching as she climbed into the stratosphere. “Please, please, please.”
She felt Cullen shudder and jerk beneath her, moaning into her as he came, and the vibrations sent her teetering over her peak, plunging into a wave of color and sound and oh, Maker, oh fuck--
When she opened her eyes again, she was cradled between them both. She lay there for a moment in disbelieving silence, listening to them breathe on either side of her, drinking in the warmth of their chests as Cullen nuzzled her forehead with his lips and Jowan whispered soft “I love you”s into the nape of her neck. Twinkling orbs of mage light danced lazily on the ceiling.
This was home, she realized. It was home on a level that shook her to her core, in a way she’d never, ever experienced, because this was a home that would be here when the dust settled. This was a home that could exist for good, a home that came with so much more than the desperate but empty promises of a morning that had never before been guaranteed.
But morning would come.
Morning would come, and she would still be home.
Fin.
Thanks to my partner in crime @laraslandlockedblues for creating this particular AU with me, and an extra big thank you to all of my new fandom friends who gave me the space to let this muse out. I love and appreciate every single one of you.
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byunbaekby · 3 years
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title — the things i know pairing — soccerplayer!jisung x female reader genres — angst, fluff, high school au, strangers to lovers au, first love au, long distance relationship, hurt and comfort, coming of age overall warnings — underage drinking, cancer, character death, language, mentions of hickeys, fainting, mentions and descriptions of hospitals, soccer inaccuracies, lots of angst (you’ve been warned!) word count — 14.8k summary — jisung has never been keen on growing up, or even understanding what adulting means. at seventeen, all he knows is: he loves soccer (and he’s damn gifted at it), and girls are very pretty but also plenty scary. then he met you, his first love who turned his life upside down and made his stomach roll like the soccer balls he loved to kick around the field. but when your cancer comes back after years in remission, jisung thinks, he doesn’t really want to grow up anymore. playlist — falling, harry styles ; your guardian angel, red jumpsuit apparatus ; my first and last, nct dream ; bye my first, nct dream ; orchid, jeremy zucker
additional — for the heartbreak hotel collab hosted by @nct-writers​. my concept in the five stages of grief was “acceptance and hope.” thank you to my babes @suh-insane​ and @astroboy-lele​ for proof-reading!
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The thing about knowledge is that you never know when or what you’re going to learn. There’s no way for you to predict what will be of your mind when you fall into bed that night, surrendering to the moon. In the morning, there’s no telling what knowledge your brain will choose to store away for remembrance over the course of the night, and what your brain will decide is unnecessary. What you decide not to remember is a memory you can’t even miss. 
When you wake up every morning, you don’t know if you’ll go to bed having met someone who will change your life forever. 
At seventeen, there are two things that Park Jisung knows. One, he loves playing soccer (and he’s damn good at it, the way his long legs carry him across the field in what seems to onlookers like seconds). Two, girls are very pretty but plenty scary as well. 
The day starts out normally, like any other away game that the team plays.
He wakes up at six o’clock on the dot, and eats a large breakfast to hold him over for the game, then packs a few granola bars into his soccer bag and lets his sister know he’s leaving before he jogs the way to the park where the bus is waiting for his team. The ride is normally an hour long, so he either tucks his earbuds into his ears and tries to get in a short nap or he converses with his teammates. 
Today though, the bus ride is three hours long. Crossing his hoodie-clad arms across his chest to act against the cold air of the bus, he focuses his gaze outside and watches as the town goes by. 
“Yo, Jisung, check this out!” 
At the sound of his name he turns his head, blinking when he sees a number of his teammates in the surrounding area nudging him closer. A few of them are leaning in towards a particular teammate, who displays a proud expression. “What’s up,” asks Jisung as he too leans forward toward his team member, curiosity slightly piqued.
Jaemin, the teammate in question, tugs the collar of his jersey down to reveal his skin. On the milky white curve of Jaemin’s collarbone, he sports a dark purple bruise, surrounded by a perimeter of yellow where the skin seems to be healing. There’s no question as to where that mark came from, and it definitely wasn’t from soccer. 
“Ew, man, that looks sick!” comes from Donghyuck, along with a few comments from others, either approving or disturbed. 
“Where’d that come from?” 
Renjun slaps Mark on the chest, eyebrows furrowed at him. “Obviously, it was from Anne! Didn’t you see the way they were all over each other at last week’s game?” Jaemin grins, eyes going lovesick at the thought of his girlfriend. 
Jisung’s expression contorts into one of disgust. “That’s disgusting, man,” he comments, nose still scrunched in distaste as he leans back into his original spot on the bus seat. Another thing he’ll never understand is why people are so desperate to grow up, as if giving hickeys and sneaking vodka into their Hydro flasks makes them somehow more adult. 
He slips his earbuds into his ears, playing some light muzak to lull him to sleep with his head leaned rather uncomfortably against the cold window. 
-
Jisung doesn’t think that he’s exceptionally smart; he’s gotten passing to above average grades his entire life. He’s not musically talented, nor is he particularly a smooth talker. 
But hearing people call him gifted is a feeling he relishes every time.
With his long legs and strangely large and spacious lungs, soccer called the boy’s name from the time he could run. He dominated the peewee league, then the club teams until this point, at the ripe age of seventeen waiting to be scouted for college teams. 
He wasn’t usually one to brag but today, he had shot the winning goal. 
Everyone has their thing, the one thing that they excel at. For Picasso it was painting, for Yiruma it was piano, for Renjun it’s spending four hours every night researching alien conspiracy theories. For Jisung, it’s soccer. But he’s never been exceptionally good at speaking to people. 
“What’s your name?” He hears a voice, cheery and upbeat, behind him as he’s grabbing his bag on the side of the field. The game is over, and the crowd begins to dissipate while the team members are gathering their things to return to the bus. Turning over his shoulder he sees you, wearing a bright smile. Cautiously he responds, “Jisung Park.”
“Oh, so you’re Korean then. I’m gonna write that down, okay? How long have you been playing soccer?” You ask next, and now Jisung’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. 
“Write what down?” He asks, trying to keep his tone as polite as possible. Even so, how is he supposed to react to a random person at a game suddenly appearing to ask him questions? As he wipes his forehead with his towel he adds, “Who even are you?”
Quickly you say, “I write in the high school newspaper, and wanted to get a close-up of today’s star.” It’s then that Jisung realizes the camera slung around your neck and the notepad in your hands. 
“Why are you writing about me? I don’t even go here.”
“Because,” you say, a slight sigh creeping into your voice now. “Our team sucked today. You straight up stole the show, and no one wants to read about a team that lost. I’d rather give them a peek at the star.”
“14!” His coach yells his number once, causing Jisung to look over his shoulder to the source of the voice, where his teammates are already beginning to pile onto the bus. The boy in question slings his bag over his shoulder and tucks his soccer ball under his right arm before finally getting a good look at you. “Shouldn’t you be writing something to raise your team’s spirit or something? Giving them support, maybe?”
You shrug. “I don’t like underdogs. Don’t like writing about them. I’d rather read about the heroes. So how long have you been playing soccer again?” 
“Jisung!” Now it’s Chenle calling after him, and he really needs to go. Eyes flickering to the street where his teammates are gesturing for him to hurry, he looks back to you. Your eyebrow is raised expectantly, right hip popped out as you wait. Before he starts to run off, he manages a small, “I’ve been playing eleven years. Um… bye.”
Then he turns away and his long legs carry him to the bus a few meters away. Even so, behind him he can hear your loud, proud voice yelling after him with the name of your high school: “Check the online newspaper! You’ll see my article!”
What a weirdo, he can’t help but think as the team cheers for their star player getting on the bus back home. 
-
A week later, it’s another Saturday night following a victorious win against another team in the local area when Jisung gets a call from Chenle. “What’s up,” he asks immediately, leaning back in his desk chair to throw his soccer ball up in the air and catch it with one hand. 
“Wanna party tonight? Celebrate our win a bit?”
“Where?” asks Jisung. He’d never been big on parties. For one, his long legs that were great for running weren’t exactly skilled in dancing or anything of the like. Secondly, he’d definitely be expected to talk to girls and he’s not really in the mood to make a fool of himself. 
“Taeyong’s house. Me, Mark, Hyuck, and Jaemin are going. Renjun’s busy, and Jeno wants to spend time with his cat. What do you say? Wanna join?” 
Jisung sighs. He was honestly just exhausted. “Think I’ll pass. My sister’s been getting on me about my bio grade.”
Chenle groans on the other line. “Lame.”
“Next time, promise,” says Jisung. 
“Fine. Have fun studying, looooser!” This is the last thing Chenle says before hanging up, leaving his best friend alone to shake his head with a small laugh. Then he remembers something, some words that a stranger had yelled out to him a week before. 
Sitting up at his desk, Jisung opens his laptop and types in the name of your high school, along with your town. A few clicks around the website finds him at the online news section, plus a scroll or two past some questionable articles, there it is: a picture of him mid-kick, the winning one if he remembers well enough. His nose is scrunched in concentration and strands of dark hair cling to his forehead. 
Soccer Superstar from the opposing team steals the show and the win!
A small scoff leaves Jisung’s lips, trying to humble himself as he reads over the first few paragraphs. 
Our school’s boys soccer team faced a devastating loss on Saturday in the face of the opposing team’s ace player (pictured above). The game ended promptly when the superstar player confidently kicked in the final shot, though the result had been clear from the first half of the game. 
A short interview with the hotshot player revealed that he has been playing soccer for eleven years! A senior from Neo Culture Prep, it is clear as day that the school is very lucky to have such a prodigy on the team.
Who is this superstar player, you ask?
His name is Jisung Park. 
Geez, Jisung thinks. He knew he was good but not that good. The article did a good job of spicing him up, making him look like he was a lot better than he really was. There’s too much fluff; sure, he’s skilled and he knows it, but—he touches his cheeks. They’re warm—the article makes him sound like a soccer god, and it’s beyond embarrassing. Who even are you?
A scroll to the bottom of the page tells him all he needs to know.
Article written by: (Name) (Last Name).
-
He doesn’t return to your town for almost two months. There’s a tournament today, the hours lurching between games giving him more than enough time to psych himself out about how he’ll play. 
It’s noon, the sun shining overhead causing a sheet of sweat to amass on Jisung’s forehead. His team has just won their second match of the day, and in waiting for their next game, his eyes are scanning the bleachers set up for observers on the side of the field. It’s not hard to find you, same camera hanging around your neck. 
With his long legs, he jogs over to you towel in hand. You’re not at all focused on him, eyes pressed into the camera’s viewfinder as you attempt to capture a good shot of the current game. 
“I don’t like the stuff you said about me in your article.” 
His deep voice suddenly intrudes your thoughts, and you jump in your place. As you turn to him and drop your camera from your face, he catches sight of the way your eyes widen at his appearance. A flood of recognition replaces the shock before you tilt your head. “Why? It was all good stuff.” 
Patting at his forehead with his towel, Jisung responds, “Yeah, exactly. I’m not that good. I could’ve played better that day.” This brings a small snort from you. “Really! They were narrowing the angle on me, I should have flanked or lofted.”
“I have no idea what that means.”
“It’s—” 
You cut him off before he can explain. “You’re good. Why are you so shy to accept that?”
“Why do you keep trying to paint me as the main character of the team? Everyone works hard together.” He questions, eyebrows furrowed. 
“Because you are,” you respond matter-of-factly, focused enough to press your eye into the viewfinder again. A few seconds pass, and Jisung recognizes the click of the camera as you capture something on the field. “You’re clearly the best player on the team by a long shot. You’re the main character, the hero.”
At your response, Jisung shakes his head in disbelief and scrunches his nose. There’s really no getting through to you. “I’m more than the hero you think I am.”
You turn to him, facial features contorted into a mischievous expression. “I’m sure you are.” Jisung realizes then that you’re holding something out to him. Taking it, he observes it. A… business card? With your name and number on it. “(Name). Aspiring journalist.”
“You have a business card? Aren’t you like, seventeen?” 
You shrug, smile tugging on your lips. “Never hurts to be prepared. Call me.” It’s the last thing you say before you flitter away on quick feet, leaving to interview the team which has just won their match. He watches you leave, wondering if you know what kind of effect you have on people. 
-
“I don’t know, man. She seems kinda crazy,” says Hyuck from the seat next to him, leaning his head back. However, a sudden bump in the road causes the bus to jump, startling the boy a bit. Jisung had just shared his thoughts about asking you out with his friend, who immediately made a face and shook his head. 
“Crazy?” Sure, you’re a bit forward and maybe slightly reckless, but he doesn’t think you’re… crazy. It’s been a few weeks since he last saw you and from the conversations you’ve shared over text and phone… he thinks he likes you. Like, really likes you. It’s goddamn terrifying.
“Yeah, we all saw her article,” Chenle speaks up from the seat behind him. “She’s obsessed with you.” 
Jisung rolls her eyes. “It was one article. That doesn’t mean she’s obsessed.”
“I think you should do it. It’d be funny to get on camera in case you fail,” snorts Renjun.
Jaemin pipes in from in front of them. “But if you do ask her out, she lives three hours away. That’s a lot of distance.” He’s the only one in a relationship, so maybe he has the only opinion that Jisung trusts. 
“Other people have done more distance.”
Now, it’s Jeno’s turn to pipe in. “But you’re not other people, you’re Jisung Park. You’ve never had a girlfriend.” Should he feel insulted? Chenle also adds, “Jeno’s right. You’re a senior! It’s your year, and you wanna spend it tied down to some girl who lives three hours away?” 
But you’re not just some girl. Mark’s the only one who hasn’t spoken, and most of the time, he’s the most level headed. Jisung turns to him with a sincere expression and asks, “What do you think?”
Though he had been trying to stay quiet throughout the conversation, he stretches a bit in his seat before finally saying, “I think you should go for it.”
“I think you should too!” Jaemin says. “But I think you should be prepared for what it means.”
“Whatever you decide to do, we’ll hype you up.”
“I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” Jisung asks. “If she rejects me, at least she’s three hours away, right?” There’s murmurs of agreement around the seven of them. He tries to sound relaxed, but the thought of asking a girl out for the first time causes his heart to thump loudly in his chest. Oh god… should he do it?
“So?” asks Hyuck after a few seconds of silence, and it’s then that Jisung realizes everyone’s looking at him. “Are you gonna do it?” 
He gulps. “... No idea.”
A collective groan emerges from the group of boys. Hyuck, ever the genius, straightens his back with a glint in his eye. “How about this? If we win, you ask her out. You’ll be riding on a winning spree and it’ll give you confidence. If we lose then… there’s more girls back home.” 
That… doesn’t sound like a bad idea. But oh god, he doesn’t know which option he wants. 
-
For the first time, Jisung feels like his legs are knotting into each other, tumbling over his feet. 
Soccer had always come easily to him, like breathing. But for some unknown reason, he’s totally off his game today. He knows the play, his strengths, and even the weaknesses of his opponents, but he trips over his feet. 
No, that’s a lie. He definitely does know the source of his nervousness, and it lives in the form of a girl with a camera and a notepad sitting in the bottom corner bleacher. His breath is frantic as he zips back and forth across the field. The sounds of the game are ringing loud in his ear, and he can hardly even focus on the black and white ball being kicked around, let alone what the coach is screaming at them. They’re so close, one more goal should do it. 
He knows what’s going to happen. Jisung Park had always been known for his ending kicks.
But what if he messes it up? What if he fumbles the kick or whiffs it? 
Then again, does he even want to win? That’s a dumb quesiton—of course he does—but the question is: is he ready for what comes with the win? He really shouldn’t look, shouldn’t peek for just one look at you, but he does. You’re scribbling in your notepad, and he swears in that millisecond that you look so pretty. 
Yeah, he wants it. He really wants it. 
He’s ready, and—oh god, Sungchan is passing the ball to him. Suddenly Jisung is on high alert, winding up toward the goal. He captures Sungchan’s ball with ease, no longer tripping over himself as he makes his way to the end goal. 
One kick, just nail this one kick. 
He winds up, turning his body to the correct angle; he kicks it and…
Please go in, please go in, he’s begging. 
The ball flies in straight past the goalkeeper, who jumps toward it but there’s no use. It all happens so quickly, and suddenly his team erupts into celebration when the referee blows his whistle. Still standing there, Jisung catches his breath and stares into the goal. 
He won. 
That means… He glances at you. You’re wearing a huge smile on your face, and without noticing it himself, Jisung has his own proud smile on his. His momentary peace is interrupted by his friends running toward him, nearly knocking him over in their celebration. 
“Yeeahhh, Jisung Park, you’re the man!” 
A few minutes later, Jisung tries to calm his nerves after thanking the opposing team for a good game. When he returns to the sidelines where his stuff is, he can barely get some water down his throat before Chenle is pushing a soccer ball into his hand. “Good luck, dude,” he says, and Jisung can feel the others’ eyes on him. Oh no, it’s time. 
He steals a glance at you, and—Oh. You’re looking at him too. A bashful smile spreads over your lips and you turn away, focusing back to your conversation with your friend. His heart is beating so loud, but Jisung doesn’t think it’s because of the soccer game. Turning back to his friends, he groans, “I need a pep talk.”
“Okay, uh,” Mark attempts. “You got this, you know you’re the man. Um… if she rejects you, then it’s okay, there’s other fish in the sea!” A groan erupts through the group. “That’s not a pep talk, Mark!” 
“Listen,” says Chenle suddenly, grabbing Jisung’s shoulders to stare at him. “She’s not gonna reject you. You’re Jisung freaking Park! The star of the team and my best friend! Go get ‘em, and don’t take no for an answer!” With this, he gives Jisung a small push in the girl’s direction.
“Actually, uh—I think no means no,” pipes in Jisung but everyone cuts him off with a collective, “JUST GO!” 
Pink spreads across his cheeks as he slowly walks in your direction. At a good distance away, he places the coveted soccer ball down on the ground and winds himself up for a kick. Okay, he just shot the winning goal of the game. If he can do that, he can do this. Running forward the slightest, Jisung gives himself a silent pep talk as his foot taps the ball. It goes moving from its spot, flying through the air… and that’s when Jisung realizes his mistake. Instead of gently tapping against your ankle like he had planned, the ball flies straight in the air, knocking the side of your head rather harshly. 
“Not that hard, genius!” Chenle chastises from behind him, and Jisung has to hold back the desire to actually groan in that moment. He immediately runs toward you, hands out in surprise. “Oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he repeats, reaching out for you. You’re rubbing the spot on the side of your head where the ball had hit, and he wants to disappear right there. 
He never should have done this. 
Why was he born again?
“I’m so sorry,” he says again for the nth time, feeling shame and humiliation speed up his spine at the way you wince when you touch the side of your head. “Oh my god, go get me an ice pack,” he demands over his shoulder at his friends.
“No, no I’m okay,” you reassure everyone. Now all the eyes are on the two of you. 
A few moments of silence pass as you eye the soccer ball which has rolled some distance away, crouching down to pick it up. Ball in hand, you scan the outside of it… and destroying all of Jisung’s hopes and expectations, you burst into laughter.
You laugh so hard, the boisterous sounds leaving your lips so vehemently that you have to cover your mouth with your hand. Jisung furrows his eyebrows. “I just kicked you in the head and you’re laughing?” Oh god, he must have done more damage than he thought. You don’t answer, the only sounds leaving you are giggles and guffaws. It’s only making him feel worse; geez, he wishes he wasn’t so tall so he could positively disappear right now. 
You finally look up at him and meet his gaze, your own eyes crinkled in delight. Flipping the ball over in your hands, you present to him the ball. Written on one of the large white spots reads a firm, “Go out with me?” in black marker.
“This is why you kicked me in the head?” You ask, still chuckling the slightest. Bashfully, Jisung nods. You laugh again. Every time you do that, he feels like getting smaller and smaller. “Of course I’ll go out with you.”
Wait, really?
He says these words aloud, eyes wide at your ease. He hadn’t expected you to actually say yes! “Sure,” you respond with a smile. “Though I could’ve gone without the head injury.” 
This brings a laugh from the both of you. He really had been worrying so much about nothing. His frame instantly relaxes, taking the ball back from you. “You sure you don’t need the ice pack?”
“No, I could definitely use an ice pack.” 
-
The first date happens two weeks after that game, and it’s his first real date so he has no idea how to act. Everything goes fine—he takes you to the local arcade in your town, and though he’d deny it to the ends of the earth, you beat him in foosball. 
“Ha!” You had screamed. “Superstar soccer player Jisung Park, and you can’t beat me in table soccer?” His cheeks had burned pink at the sound of your voice reverberating around the public arcade, but honestly the mirth in your eyes was worth it.
His cheeks are red but the air is cold on the walk home to your house. He had promised to have you home by nine, and it’s—he checks the time on his phone—8:45. 
A look at you, holding the giant stuffed teddy bear that you had won (he hadn’t won it for you, because lord knows he’s horrible at skee-ball), and Jisung can see the air leaving your lips. “Hey, you cold?”
“Nah,” you shake your head, though you scoot closer to him on the sidewalk. His tongue laves over his bottom lip quickly, and he almost wants to hold your hand. But that wouldn’t do much to keep you warm. 
He purses his lips, then immediately his hands are working at taking off his hoodie. That’s a cute thing, isn’t it? Boyfriends giving hoodies to their girlfriends? “Here, take this.”
When you take one look at the hoodie in his hands and roll your eyes, Jisung knows he’s in for it. “Seriously? You can’t fool me with some cheesy rom-com moves,” you laugh.
Ouch.
That hurt his pride. He was just trying to be nice, maybe a tad bit romantic, but you clearly weren’t having it. He should have known you would be so tsundere, and maybe he does.
He knows you act strong, like there is no way on the face of the earth that you would ever swoon for his lame attempts at flirting. But when you reach upward on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek before you step into your house, he knows you like it just as much as he does.
-
For the longest time, it’s been just him and his sister Naeun.
His parents passed away shortly after his birth, so they stayed under the custody of their aunt. When his sister became an adult, she became his legal guardian. Since then, it’s been the two of them against the world.
Though kids had sometimes made fun of him for not having a mom or a dad, Jisung never paid those kids much attention. Sure, he didn’t have a dad to teach him how to drive or a mom to attend his parent-teacher conferences, but he had his sister and she was all he’d never need. Naeun gave up everything for him: she didn’t go to college, she traded nights out with her friends to help him with her math homework, she worked two jobs so he could play soccer. She had worked so hard, perhaps sheltered Jisung so much that he had always lived a comfortable life.
It never occurs to him just how much she had struggled until the morning she asks him to get a job. 
She sits across the dining table at breakfast, and over his cereal, Jisung notes how shaken and guilty she looks. There must be something on her mind, but that’s how his sister’s always been; she doesn’t like to worry him, and speaks up when she’s ready. When she finally tells him, he blinks, confused. 
“I can’t pay the bills alone. Not with soccer getting more expensive, and the landlord raising the rent—that bastard,” she mumbles under her breath, surprising Jisung. She hardly cursed. “It’s… It’ll just be for a short time. I promise.” She has tears in her eyes. Jisung furrows his eyebrows; she must feel guiltier about this than he thought. Immediately he nods in understanding. “It’s fine, Noona. Don’t worry about it. I’ll, uh, go out looking this weekend.” 
He takes another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, thinking that the conversation will end there. But it doesn’t, his sister’s quiet voice reaching his ears. “Promise me you’ll go to college, Sung. Promise me you’ll make it. Make it all worth it.”
And it’s in that moment, in the way that his sister’s voice is on the edge of breaking, that it occurs to him just how much his sister has sacrificed for him. How quickly she had to grow up, having become his parent at eighteen, just a few months away from how old he was now. And he was nowhere near as responsible as her. 
He swears in that moment that he’ll uphold his promise. He’ll get a scholarship, he’ll help his sister out. He’ll pay back everything she’s given up for him.
-
Finally, today you’re in town.
It’s the first time you’ve come to visit him in his town, and he’s so excited to show you everything: his school, his favorite ice cream place on the corner of the street from his apartment building, and even the park he grew up kicking soccer balls at. Even after all these years, him and his friends still came here to practice their soccer technique.
Today, the two of you are sitting underneath a tree at said park, his head in your lap. You’re running your hands through his dark hair, and wow, he’d never admit that it feels so good. 
There’s a small laugh heard from you as you comb through his locks. “You should dye your hair.”
“Suddenly?” He asks. “I don’t even know what color I’d dye it.” 
“You should do like, a blue or something. Oh, purple! Purple would be nice!” Your excitement causes him to roll his eyes promptly, sitting up. “I’ll dye my hair purple if you dye your hair purple,” he retorts to you. 
“Maybe I will,” you say, standing onto your feet now that he’s gotten off of you. Wiping the grass from your legs briefly, you nod toward his soccer ball a few feet away. “C’mon, let’s play.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You wanna play soccer.”
“Yeah, is that so surprising?” 
“Um, yeah, a little bit considering the fact that you said it’s boring and that you complain having to get up to go to the fridge at two in the morning,” quips Jisung with a laugh. You only roll your eyes in response. “I never said soccer was boring, I just said it’s only interesting when you play. And you’re gonna teach me right now, so stand up,” you say, extending a hand to him.
He takes your hand, rising to his feet before picking up the ball. “Fine,” he relents, a smirk making its way onto his face. “Try to keep up.”
For fifteen minutes, the two of you race up and down the park’s open grass field, chasing the ball in every direction. He evades you, long legs carrying him and the ball while you chase after him. 
“Wait,” you say mid-sprint, slowing to a stop. Your chest is heaving, and slowly Jisung stops his running also. “You good?” He asks from a few feet away.
“Yeah,” you say breathlessly, reaching a hand up to wipe at your forehead. “Just… gimme a sec.” A minute passes of you catching your breath, but Jisung doesn’t pay it much attention—a person who didn’t play soccer and have trained lungs like him would struggle.
“Okay, okay,” you finally say, shaking your head a bit. “Let’s go again.”
“Are you sure?” He asks, worry seeping into his tone.
“Yeah, yes! Just—just go.”
So he does, beginning to kick the ball down field as he chases after it, stopping past center field to pass the ball to you. You’re racing after him, and though the ball is coming your way, you trip over it, falling straight onto the floor.
Your head hangs low, and he immediately rushes over to you.
“Hey, hey! You okay?” He asks, kneeling down but your eyes are closed. He swipes a hand over your forehead, and it’s that moment when he realizes your eyes are closed. Did you pass out? Had he pushed you too far? “(Name)?” 
No response. Oh god, what is he supposed to do?
Is he supposed to check if you’re breathing? Where can he check for a pulse again? In his moment of inadequacy, he pulls out his phone and calls his sister.
She’ll know what to do, but it pains him that he doesn’t.
His sister arrives quickly, and immediately takes you to the hospital. According to her, you do have a pulse and you probably just had heat exhaustion. He sure hopes so… 
For a few hours he sits in the waiting room as he awaits the arrival of your parents. They rushed over from your town, four hours away, and this definitely was not the impression he wanted to have on them. Head in his hands, he can’t help but worry about you.
You do wake up, eventually but he can’t see you until your parents arrive.
They take you back home. You’re walking and talking again, but as you shoot him a weak smile from over your shoulder, walking down the hall and out of the hospital, Jisung can’t help but feel that something has gone terribly wrong. 
-
He swears he’s never been so tired. 
Working at McDonald’s isn’t horrible, per se, it’s just different. But it definitely takes more out of him than soccer ever did. The second he walks into his room Jisung drops his backpack on the bean bag next to the door and almost collapses on his bed. Throwing his work cap on the floor, he runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone.
The best thing about coming home from work, is coming home to you.
He immediately fishes for his phone from his pocket and opens it to speed dial. Pressing on your contact, Jisung presses the phone to his ear and waits for his girlfriend’s voice on the other end. The line picks up.
“Hey,” he says, a smile spreading over his lips without him even knowing. 
“Hi…” 
Something’s wrong. Your voice is missing its signature excitement, the snarkiness he had grown accustomed to. He sits up in bed, eyebrows furrowed. “Is everything okay?” 
Yes, you’re supposed to say. Everything’s fine. Everything’s just peachy.
But you don’t. “I got a call from the hospital.”
After you had fainted the other day playing soccer with him, the hospital had run a few tests to make sure you were okay. He knew this, you both did. They were supposed to say that you had been dehydrated, that you hadn’t eaten in a few hours. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Jisung…” 
“What, what is it?” 
There’s a momentary silence on the other side, then a shaky breath. “When I was ten… I got really sick. I was always having nosebleeds, always tired—some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed. They took me to the doctor and they told me that… I had leukemia.”
Jisung releases a heavy breath, staring into his sheets. No… don’t say it.
“I fought it for two years, and I beat it. God, it was… it was really hard, and I got through it. It’s been five years now but—but the hospital called and…” Please, no. “My cancer came back.”
Jisung’s never felt this way before; like all the air in his lungs have been pulled from his chest, lost to the universe. Not even when he sprinted across the soccer field, not even when he had gotten punched in the chest. All those times, his chest burned with fire, be it anger or passion. But now… his chest feels empty and hollow and numb. He manages to spit out a few words. 
It’s not supposed to be like this. You’re supposed to be okay, you’re supposed to go to prom together. Graduate. He’s supposed to get a soccer scholarship, you’re supposed to study journalism at the same school, and the long distance would cease to exist. You were supposed to be happy. “But it’s gonna be okay, right? You’ve fought it before, you can do it again.” Perhaps it was a bit selfish of him to ask for consolation when you were the one with the illness. But you were a journalist, never a liar. Your voice is weak, like you’ve already given up.
“I don’t know.”
-
“What’s up with you?” Chenle’s voice is almost worried, but Jisung wouldn’t be able to tell because his eyes are focused on the ground. He’s been kicking a soccer ball around with Chenle and Mark for a while now, but there’s clearly something very off about the teenager today.
“Yeah, is something wrong?” Mark asks.
Jisung blows some air into his cheeks. Should he tell them? It’s your private information but technically, you’re his girlfriend right? The news has been troubling him for a few days now, and he’s had no one to talk to. Surely, he can’t talk to his sister about it. 
He should just spit it out. “(Name) has cancer.”
It’s like the world stops, his friends taking in his words. “W-What? What did you just say?” Chenle speaks first, then Mark quickly follows. “Did you say (Name) has cancer?”
Keeping his gaze on the ground, Jisung nods and gives the ball a small kick in Mark’s direction. “Yeah. She had leukemia when she was younger, and… the other day she went to the hospital and they said that it came back. Her cancer came back.” When he looks up, both his friends are looking at him with genuine concern etched across their faces. 
“Seriously? Cancer? And you’re still dating her?” Mark asks, causing Jisung to raise an eyebrow in confusion. Did he just insinuate what he thinks he did?
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 
Chenle speaks up next, trying to defuse the sudden tension. “Jisung, you guys have only been dating like, a couple months. It was just like yesterday that you kicked her in the head asking her out!” 
“And?” Jisung asks pointedly. Suddenly he’s in front of Chenle, and though he technically towers over the latter in height, Chenle’s chest is straight as he makes his point.
“Is it really worth it to stay on a sinking ship?”
Jisung’s voice reaches a new level of low, erupting from a place deep inside of him that he’s hidden away. It’s a place of rage, of anger sizzling and bubbling in his stomach. Suddenly they’re both chest to chest, unwilling to back down. “Now, I know you’re not talking about my girlfriend.” 
“Hey, hey, hey!” Mark interrupts, hands coming between them to tear the two boys apart. “Calm down. Both of you.”
“He started it,” accuses Jisung quickly, dark eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “My girlfriend is not a sinking ship. Neither is my relationship, and I don’t need you to comment on it.” He looks to Mark for guidance. Mark had always been the most logical one, the one he would look to for help, and though he thinks that Mark will agree with him, he almost looks guilty.
“But it’s true, Jisung. We’re worried about you. She’s just a girl. Is she really worth hurting yourself over?” He had trusted Mark to be on his side, but now Jisung just releases a scoff. He had been hoping for his friends’ support, but it seems like he’ll be going through this alone, then.
-
You’ve been avoiding him.
Of course, there’s not much that can be done to avoid him when you live hours away from each other. But you haven’t been responding to his texts, and when you do, they’re mostly short and taut. You’ve been cutting your phone calls short, often saying that you’re tired. Maybe you really are, but it hurts hearing the line cut off, not knowing how you’re really feeling.
Jisung can’t help but feel like he’s failing. He should be doing better.
It’s like your relationship is an hourglass, running out of time with every day that he spends going to school, work, or soccer practice. Like you’re getting further and further away with each short text message.
His entire life has been spent running. Speeding forward center field like a lightning bolt, long legs carrying him far ahead everyone else. But for the first time, Jisung feels like he’s falling behind.
-
It only takes a three hour bus ride (four, with the added stops) but in Jisung’s mind, it’s all worth it. It won’t be the first time he’s gone over to your house, but it is indeed the first he’s ever showed up unannounced, which is a strange appearance given that he lives three hours away. But with everything happening, he’s willing to give up the day and six hours worth of travel for you.
Sitting on the bus, he pulls out his phone. It’s early, like nine in the morning, but he knows you have a doctor’s appointment in a few hours so you’re definitely awake. He presses the facetime button, but you quickly reject his call. His eyebrows furrow, but lighten with an incoming text from you.
[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : jisung, i’m using the bathroom rn. call you back in a bit.
He nearly rolls his eyes, but it’s a sweet one. You’re always so candid.
[ message to : (Name) ♡ ] : you act like you’ve never facetimed me on the toilet before.
[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : wow, call me out more why don’t you
[ message to : (Name) ♡ ] : pick up my call, brat ♡
[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : no, You pick up My call :p
Seconds later, his phone is lit up with an incoming facetime screen. A laugh almost leaves him at your tenacity before accepting the call.
The call opens up to the visual of his girlfriend, you in your PJs fixing the phone up against the mirror in the bathroom. He sees himself reflected in the mini screen, hoodie on and earbuds in wearing a boyish grin. “Hey pretty girl. Make sure you wash your hands.”
You roll your eyes at his remarks. “Hey ugly boy. I’m already doing that. What are you doing?”
“Just making sure, because I don’t think you brushed your teeth after you fell asleep on call the other night,” he teases, clicking his tongue as you’re the only person he can tease so easily. “I’m on the bus to practice.” A lie, but a white one at that. “What are you up to?”
You wack your still dry toothbrush in front of the camera, nose scrunching up in the slightest. It’s a habit of his that you’ve picked up. “I’m also doing that right now.” You wet the brush, putting some toothpaste on it. “I thought you didn’t have practice this Friday? Or was that next Friday?”
Your actions bring a low laugh to his lips, and his eyes momentarily focus on the passing landscape outside the bus window as he’s now three hours out of his normal perimeter. “Uh, Coach wanted to add in a practice today. Don’t you have a doctor’s appointment today?”
You nod at his answer, toothbrush in mouth. “I do, I think it’s like, in a hour or something.”
“Oh, okay,” he replies simply as the bus comes to a stop, your house only a short walk away. He stands, gathering his bag. “Gotta go, but I’ll talk to you in a bit, pumpkin honeysuckle,” he snorts, making his way to the front of the bus. 
Your brows furrow as you give him a disapproving look through the screen, shaking your head slightly before moving to rinse your mouth. “Talk to you soon, don’t get hurt at practice or I’ll fight you.”
He scoffs as he steps out of the bus, into your neighborhood. “Like you could take me. Later.” You probably could, given your determination, but he gives you a nose scrunch before ending the call. He’s only taken a few steps when his phone rings with a text message.
[ message from : (Name) ♡ ] : you and i both know i could take you :)
A snort leaves him. Classic (Name).
When he arrives a few minutes later, he hesitates at the door, only praying that the person who opens up is you, not your parents or god forbid, your brother. It only takes a few hard knocks before he hears your voice on the other side, determined to see just who the hell had the nerve to interrupt your laziness this early in the morning. “Who the fu—”
He tsk’s in distaste. He shouldn’t have been surprised that the first words to leave his girlfriend’s mouth are cuss words. “You potty mouth. I thought you’d be happy to see me,” he says, opening his arms.
Jisung’s not quite sure what he expected. For you to jump in his arms? What a delusional boy. You blink for a few seconds, then suddenly you’re throwing yourself at him, fist first to land a deserved punch to his arm. “I thought you had practice? What are you doing here and why do you look so much cuter than when I last saw you?” 
“Well, I lied,” he snickers, patting your head. “I’m here to annoy you, obviously. But you look too. For a—” A person dying of cancer, but he can’t say it. He won’t. “—person who barely got up twenty minutes ago.”
Your hand immediately begins rubbing the spot that your fist landed, worried that it might actually bruise in a bit. Jisung asks, “So are you gonna invite me in, or?”
“What are you, a vampire or something? I’m pretty sure you weren’t given permission when you entered my heart so just come in and cuddle me before my appointment.” 
Your response catches him off guard so he blinks before entering in silently, sticking his hands back into the loose fitting pocket of his hoodie. Even after six months, he’s still not used to you saying those kinds of things. Hell, he still gets sweaty holding your hand.
“Hey Mom! Dad!” You’re grabbing onto his arm, tugging him into the kitchen. “Jisung’s here!”
-
After a small breakfast and conversation with your parents, he’s given the permission to go with you to your doctor’s appointment. The two of you take the bus, hands interlaced as you sit, and Jisung smiles awkwardly when an elderly woman compliments the two of you, calling you a cute couple. 
He’s never really been in a hospital before. 
For an arduous soccer player, he’s lucky enough to never have suffered a pain great enough to warrant a visit to the hospital, nor had he ever been sickly enough to send him there. It’s for that reason that he feels slightly out of place, tucked in his hoodie whilst trying his best not to gaze at the others in the waiting room. Instead, he tries to keep his gaze focused upon his girlfriend as you remain bright despite their surroundings. Your hands intertwined, he feels a comfortable warmth seeping into his veins, gold in color and feeling. Gold like the ring on your finger, and like your heart. 
He’s so lucky to have you.
“I don’t really have anything planned,” he says softly, giving your hand a slight squeeze. It’s true that your itinerary is next to nonexistent for this impromptu date, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. If anything, a hospital is a strange starting destination for a date but your relationship is a bit strange. Quietly, he says to you, voice low in the hopes that no one overhears, “Don’t hospitals scare you?”
He knows that you spent a good portion of your time here; surely you must have grown accustomed to it, but Jisung was not. Hospitals were cold… white and bleak and much too quiet.
“Nah, not really,” you answer with a shake of your head. “Except for all the souls wandering around.”
Jisung blinks. “Souls?” He gulps.
“Yup. The souls of the passing.” You click your tongue, along with a wink in his direction now that you’ve successfully managed to creep him out. Do you ever stop making jokes?
The door to the waiting room opens and a medical assistant calls your name. “Hey, I’ll be right back,” you tell him, standing and releasing his arm. He gives a hesitant nod, watching as you leave through the door and disappear down the hall. 
When you emerge, some forty-five minutes later, the mirth is gone from your eyes.
He knows right away: you didn’t get good news. His heart is pumping in his chest, like he’s waiting for you to collapse right there. Years could pass, and Jisung swears he’d never be able to erase that memory of you. “Are you—” Okay, he wants to ask. But you just give him a small smile and shake your head. It’s not the time. He cuts himself short, reaching a hand out to you with a small, albeit forced, smile. “Let’s go on our date.”
-
It’s a long afternoon, spent in the arcade where you had had your first date—this time, for memory’s sake, he gets another ring from the claw machine—then McDonald’s and ice cream. He treats you to lunch, courtesy of his employee discount, and the entire day is filled with laughter and mutual teasing. Everything feels like it’s okay again. 
Jisung enjoys these moments the most.
The moments where he doesn’t feel like he has to be anybody: not the star soccer player, not the kind understanding younger brother, or a kid trying to look grown up at an adult party. With him he’s just you, awkwardness and quirks altogether. You’ve never hid yourself from him, and now he doesn’t have to hide himself either.
Now that the day is touching evening, the two of you sit at a park, relaxing mindlessly on the swings next to each other. Now that the romantic buzz is gone, the two of you have fallen into a comfortable silence.
“Thanks for coming this far, Ji. This was… nice.”
A small smile spreads over his lips. “It was nothing. I wanted to do it for a long time.”
“No, really,” you say, turning to him with a thankful smile. Your eyes are serious now, and Jisung feels the sunlight seep into his skin. “I really missed you.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment. This moment feels heavy, like he’ll remember it for years to come. “... I missed you too. A lot.” You both turn back to face the sunset, watching the sun fade behind a hill. It’s setting, streaks of gentle reds and soft-spoken oranges staining the empyrean firmament. It’s then that Jisung feels his heart begin to sink, like the sun, into the pit of his stomach.
“Are you scared?”
A moment passes without you saying anything, then you speak up beside him. “Not really. I mean, it’s just the hospital. The only thing that’ll suck is not being able to leave. I never thought I’d say it but, I’m really gonna miss going to school.”
Did you think you were never going to return? “Are your chances good?”
The implications from earlier at the hospital return. What are the chances that things aren’t looking up? “They say so,” you breath out.
That’s not good enough. Anything could happen. Jisung needs clarification, confirmation. He doesn’t want to lose you. “What if you—”
“I might.”
A beat of silence.
Jisung feels like crying. It gathers in the back of his throat. “What would I do without you?”
There it is: the implication that you’ll be gone. That one day, Jisung will have to wake up and face a world without you in it, a world with less happiness and less passion. A world where there isn’t someone who will call him ugly when really they think he’s the cutest to walk to the earth, or where there isn’t someone to make fun of him the way you do. A world with less love. 
Your voice is dry as you speak. 
“You’d move on.”
“I don’t know if I’d ever love anyone like you,” he finds himself saying. 
“L-Love?” You suddenly say, voice the smallest he’s ever heard. You’ve always had the loudest voice, most prominent in his brain, but his words seem to have caught you off guard. “Do you? Love me?” 
He doesn’t know what love feels like. He’s just a teenager, what is he supposed to know about love? About loss? Is it all-consuming, like in the movies? Is it meant to hurt? “... I think I do. I think I love you.”
There’s a sniffle next to him, and he turns immediately, alarmed that he may have made you cry. There are tears in your eyes, but they don’t fall. Being a writer, you talk too much. Your words are eloquent and true, though sometimes Jisung has a hard time getting you to stop talking. But this time, you choose to abandon words altogether, instead leaving your swing to stand in front of him. Compelled by nature, he stands too. Instead of speaking, you reach upward on your tiptoes once more. Except this time, you kiss him. 
Your lips meet, and everything is golden.
And against the backdrop of the setting sun, it feels like the closing scene of Jisung’s very own romance movie. But this isn’t the end, he knows.
-
When he walks you home, he offers his sweater again. 
This time not out of obligation or the desire to appear more romantic than he is, but because you’re cold. Really cold. You’re shivering, arms wrapped around yourself not giving enough warmth.
“Here,” Jisung says, already beginning to take off his hoodie, but you stop him with a hand and a pointed look, though your chattering teeth cause you to stutter. “S-Still trying to woo me with cheap rom-com tricks?”
You’re stubborn. You’re so stubborn and he hates it.
“Just take it,” he says, pushing it into your arms. 
“No,” you argue. “You have a three hour ride home, it’s late and you’ll be cold.”
It’s obvious your illness has made you even more sensitive to the cold, and for that reason, Jisung’s fine facing the biting cold as long as you’re okay. “You’re freezing, please just take it.”
“Jisung, I said no.” Your voice is stern now, and he gets the feeling that he’s upset you. He gives up, gnawing on his bottom lip in deep thought. He just wants to make you feel better, doing what he thinks will help but with you, it never does. You’re so independent, too much so and much too stubborn to admit you need his help… “Fine,” he says before putting his hoodie back on. If you won’t take his warmth, then he’ll give it to you. 
He lifts his arm, placing it fully around your shoulders and pulling you to him so your bodies meet. “At least let me hold you,” he mumbles. Your frame freezes in his for a moment, until you wrap your arms around the circumference of his chest. 
Burying your face into his side, you relent into him. “Okay, fine.”
And later, he finds that you’re right. When he sits alone on the dimly lit train, he realizes that the warmth he had been feeling earlier, bathing in the sun’s rays with your lips, is long gone. All he feels now, is cold.
-
“You skipped practice the other day.” Jisung looks up from where he had been sitting on the bleachers, tying his shoes after practice. It had been a tough practice; he had missed quite a few passes and whiffed more than just a couple shots. He can only blame himself. He’s been distracted; alongside his worries about you, he also has a job to attend to and even more, the results for his dream school’s soccer scholarship is supposed to come out soon. His gaze falls on all six of his closest friends, looking down at him. 
“Yeah, something came up,” he says easily.
“More like, someone,” retorts Donghyuck easily. “We know you ditched to go see your girlfriend.”
“And what about it?”
“I don’t know what’s happened to you, man. You never want to play ball with us anymore, you don’t want to hang out with us. Whenever you invite you to a party, you raincheck. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore,” Chenle spits out, arms crossed over his chest.
“Chenle,” says Renjun carefully.
“No,” interrupts the boy in question. Chenle looks straight at Jisung, who stands now to meet the others’ heights. “He needs to hear this. Ever since that girl came around, it’s like you’ve lost your way. You used to be all about soccer and friendship. Now you always have her on your mind, and—did you see the way you played earlier?—she’s messing you up. Your head’s not on straight.”
“Chenle, stop.” Donghyuck speaks up now, voice low as he tries to stop the younger from going off. “You’re not the same Jisung I met in peewee camp, and I don’t know if I like who I’m seeing,” Chenle finishes. 
That’s enough for him. His voice comes out before he can stop it.
“You know why I never party with you anymore?” Jisung suddenly says, voice booming and clearly at his limit. “Because I’ve always hated partying. Because I have a job now, and because I don’t want my sister to stay up worrying about me while I’m getting piss drunk. I hate drinking, I hate trying to look cool while actually looking fucking stupid, because I don’t know how I can even think about partying when my girlfriend is fucking dying.” 
A hearty scoff leaves his lips, as though he can’t even fathom the words he’s faced today. “You don’t even know me anymore? That’s where you’re wrong, because you never knew me. Not all of me. You only see me as the star player who’s gonna get you your win. She knows me, she knows all of me, and she doesn’t try to change me. Well, sorry that I’m not the same kid you met years ago who let everyone walk all over him. I thought you guys were my friends, but clearly you only want me around for as long as I can play.”
Those are the last fiery words to leave Jisung’s mouth before he turns on his heels, storming off the field and away from everyone else. He just needs to get out of here, away from everything before he ruins it. Mark and Hyuck follow after him, while Jeno and the rest hold Chenle back. 
“Don’t listen to him,” Mark says, ever level headed. “We know what you’re going through.”
Though he appreciates their concern, Jisung spits, “No, you don’t.”
Both of them stop walking, no longer chasing after him as Jisung pulls out his phone. 
A new email.
He immediately opens it, eyes glazing over the text.
Dear Jisung Park,
Thank you for applying to our university’s soccer scholarship. We reviewed every application with our utmost dedication and attention. Unfortunately, we regret to inform you that we cannot accept your application at this time. Our soccer program is one of the most competitive at this school, however we encourage you to reapp… 
What a load of shit. 
-
The past few weeks have been horrid. 
Soccer is as tense as ever, though Jisung would be lying if he said that his fight with Chenle didn’t fuel him to work even harder during practice. His job sucks, especially after someone spilled a bucket of old oil on him (it was cold, thank goodness but still gross nonetheless). So far he’s gotten another rejection. Who knew that getting into college would be this hard?
He wishes that he could say his relationship with you is the saving grace, but it’s really not. You’re in the hospital now, and the two of you have been talking less and less. Even now with his feud between his friends, he feels even more alone. Today when he calls, you sound even more tired than usual. 
“Hey, chocolate honeycomb bunny,” Jisung says, giving his absolute worst at giving a cringe-worthy nickname. It seems you’re too tired to even give a repulsed response. 
“Hey.” You’re quiet for a moment, only your breathing heard across the line. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” sighs Jisung, running a hand through his dark locks. “Just exhausted. My coworker is getting on my last nerve.”
“The same one you talked about last week?”
“Who spilled the dirty oil on me? Yeah,” he responds with a roll of his eyes. “We’ve both been working the same amount of time, I just want to know why he’s so slow to pick it up.”
It’s characteristic of you to agree, seeing as complaining is one of your favorite past times. But you don’t, voice only coming out softly across the call, “Maybe just give him some time.” 
“Yeah, I don’t know,” he sighs. “How about you? Are you feeling better?”
“About the same,” you respond truthfully. God, you sound so tired. He almost feels bad for making you talk to him when you clearly sound exhausted. “Any more results?” You ask, regarding his college acceptances.
“No,” he shakes his head. He doesn’t understand. He’s a good student, he’s done community service. Just what more do they want from him? “You said I was special, but I don’t think the colleges see that.” 
He can almost see your small smile in his mind. “You are special. Just ‘cause they don’t see it doesn’t you aren’t.”
“Eh, I don’t know,” Jisung says, playing with a loose thread on his bedsheet. 
What you say next catches him off guard. “Maybe we can both be college-less, together.”
“What?” He asks, brows tightening in confusion. “Didn’t you get into the journalism program at that one university?” He’s caught you. You’re silent on the line for a few long seconds, but the quiet is deafening for him.
“I did, but Jisung, I…” You hesitate. “I’m not going.”
“What do you mean you’re not going?” He asks.
“I… I don’t know if I want to.” In a small voice, you continue, “I don’t know that I’ll make it that long.” What are you saying? What are you implying? Heart racing, Jisung tries to decipher these words in his mind. To him, it just sounds like the end.
“You’re giving up already, I hear it in your voice.”
“I’m not,” you say, a broken promise. “I just… want to be prepared for the worst.”
“The worst isn’t coming. You’re going to get through this. You’re going to beat it. I know you are.” It becomes blatantly clear in this moment that the person Jisung is trying to convince, is himself. 
His pleas fall upon deaf ears, because you argue back in what seems like the strongest voice you’ve made in months. As though you’ve amassed all your remaining energy for this conversation. “I’m not a hero, Jisung. I’m not cut out for this. The doctors said it’s not looking good.” 
“Then prove them wrong. You’re gonna beat it.” 
“I don’t want to be the underdog either, Ji. You know I hate them.” What you say next has his blood boiling. “I don’t deserve it anyways, no one would want me to come back.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jisung raises his voice now, volume growing with each word.
“No one likes me,” you spit out across the line, and he doesn’t need to see you to imagine how incensed you are at the moment. “I’m rude, I’m loud, I cross boundaries and I say things that hurt without caring about who it touches. And before you yell at me that no one thinks of me like that, these are things I’ve heard from other people.” Your voice breaks, as does Jisung’s heart. “If this were a movie, no one would root for me to survive.” 
“I do,” Jisung says, voice strong. “I’m rooting for you. Every. Single. Day. And who cares about how other people see you? You’re rude? You’re crass? I like you because of those things, because you’re different from me. Am I not enough?”
“You’re different,” you relent, voice tired. “You’re the only one who matters. But I—“ You choke up. “I’m just tired of fighting. I don’t want to go to sleep every night not knowing if I’ll wake up the next morning. I want to be strong, and I want to face every day knowing that it could be my last… I don’t want to leave anything behind—”
“You’re not leaving,” he cuts in.
“—and I can’t go through every day letting you think that everything is okay, because they’re not. But I’m ready to let go, Ji. Because I’m happy with what I had, with what we had, and I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
Tears are falling down his cheeks now, suiciding off the surface of his face and staining his bed sheets. He doesn’t know if the tears are the result of sadness, anger, or the pain of loving someone the universe would never let him have, yet it hurts all the same. “But I love you! I told you that I loved you.”
“I love you too,” you cry, and the sound is heartbreaking. “But I just wish that were enough.”
A pregnant silence consumes both of you. All that can be heard is the sound of your mutual crying, along with your breathing that Jisung had learned to fall asleep to. When you speak again, your voice is steady. You had always been the stronger one. “I don’t think you should call anymore.” A few sniffles. He can’t even speak. “Goodbye, Jisung.”
Then the line dies.
-
It’s Christmastime. He knows it’s cold, probably even colder in the hospital where you are.
Now, Jisung knows you don’t want anything from him. You don’t want him around. In the past weeks he must have become someone even he wouldn’t want around. And though he gets the feeling that you’ll never need him again, he figures you could use a sweater. It’s nothing much, and really he thinks it could be better. 
A hoodie, not fit to your size but slightly larger because he knew you well enough to know you’d like it like that. On one sleeve, near the wrist, a patch of a soccer ball. He had learned how to sew it on himself. On the other, his initials. JS.
He sends it in the mail, in a box to the hospital with your name and room number on it. There’s no letter, nothing. Just his bare soul in the form of an oversized cotton hoodie. He’d send it himself, appearing at the door to your hospital bed, but something tells him he’s run out of things to say.
-
His phone rings at three in the morning. 
He knows what it means.
February 2nd, at 2:39AM. The world lost you. 
It would never be the same again, and neither would he.
-
Grief is an interesting thing, someone once told him. 
He doesn’t quite remember who it was, whether it was his sister comforting him after the death of their goldfish, the guidance counselor at his school giving him a required appointment after the passing of a student, or yourself. But as the hours go by, it feels more and more like a weight in his chest that has been sitting on a hollowed place in his heart. 
Grief is indescribable, and Jisung doesn’t know if this is because his limited seventeen year old vocabulary hasn’t collected enough fitting words to even begin to verbalize his emotions, or if because it really is indescribable. 
The first few days had been hell. 
He had almost become someone that he didn’t know, barely stepping out of bed and perhaps worrying his sister out of her mind. It was his way of ignoring the world, dissociating himself from the irrefutable truth that you weren’t really gone. You were still laying in bed, three hours away as usual, struggling but still fighting. If he could lay in bed, sleeping the days away and ignoring his text message condolences from his friends, he could pretend for some time that things were the way they were, eight months ago. 
Eight months before it.
Eight months before he lost you. Before your relationship, a burgeoning dandelion in the nook of spring. But dandelions represent rebirth, the reappearance of hope like a beacon after an arduous winter, and you would never have another spring. 
He could not pretend, because every morning the sun rose again, and he would have to reach his head out from the burrow of blankets he had buried himself in. He would need to face it for himself that he woke up, and you didn’t. His friends texted. His sister knocked on his door and begged him to eat, even going as far as to cook his favorite foods as a means to lure him from the darkness of his corner. He ate. But it was never the same. 
Messy bedheads, earbuds tucked in with muzak playing gently like the thrum of his heart which beat enough for the both of you, tear-stained pillow cases, knees to the chest, light failing to shine in through the blinds which remained closed, counting the seconds between each breath, dreaming insubordinate dreams. 
The first few days went like that. Empty.
Then he was angry.
Angry because the world had given him a love worth changing for, then ripped it from his inexperienced hands. He had never had anything in his life! Not a mother, not a father. Could he not have this one lily, this flower which sought to remind him of the fragility of life? And even more so, he was angry for you. You were a fire—you were a bottle of passion bursting at the seams, a well of untapped potential, a boldness which no one else could emulate—and the universe crushed you beneath its foot. 
And suddenly, the emptiness of your hollow space reflected upon him.
He should have been better, should have done more. A soccer ball proposition? A sweater? It was laughable; that was the least he could give? If only he had called, if only he hadn’t listened to you like the meek child he was, things could be better. 
And above all, he was sad. 
What would he do without you?
Moving on seemed useless. A light at the end of a dark tunnel which stretched for ages. An epiphany that you would never reach. 
He just hoped that it was not cold. That you left the world in a ball of light, surrounded in the warmth of family and love, not the rigidness of the unforgiving world. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but he hoped that the soccer ball sleeve had been clutched to your chest, and that his hoodie could have provided just a little bit of that warmth. 
-
The walking pattern outside his bedroom door is different from his sister’s. So is the knock on the door; his older sister’s is much more quiet, reserved, as though she was afraid to wake him. This one is harsh, and it reverberates through the room before the door opens.
The air in the room is still for a moment.
“Jisung.” 
It’s Chenle. And Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, as well as Jaemin. They all take their seats either on the end of his bed, the floor, or his beanbag, but Jisung doesn’t move from his place underneath the blankets. 
“What do you want?” He manages to groan out in a small voice.
Someone places a hand on his leg, a comforting gesture. He thinks it’s Jaemin from the gentle touch. “We’re here for you.”
Donghyuck comments, “You haven’t been to practice this week.” Of course that would be what they would mention first. Jisung scoffs. “I’m kind of going through something.”
“And we’re here.” Mark’s voice.
“We wanted to apologize.” Chenle speaks now, and despite being best friends since they were five, he’s the last person Jisung expected to say sorry. In their decade-long friendship, Chenle was the confident one, the one who charged forward without consequence while Jisung trailed behind, cleaning up his mess. “We’ve been… assholes, simply put.” Had he been in higher spirits, Jisung would have snorted. “We thought we understood what you were going through, and we thought it was dumb. To let yourself get hurt over some random girl… but we were wrong. We didn’t understand your point of view.”
“Not even a little bit,” says Donghyuck, head hanging low. 
“Yeah, we’re supposed to be your friends. Your team! We’re supposed to lift you up when you’re down and… well, we haven’t been doing that. And we’re sorry. I’m sorry.” Chenle says. Slowly, Jisung lifts his head from below the blanket to face his friends. They all wear a variety of expressions, all somber. “And we know now… she’s not just some random girl.”
Yeah, they’ve all been assholes, some more than others, and Jisung can’t exactly say that they were any help in his struggle. But perhaps this was something he needed to go through alone. At the time, he needed you. But now… he just really needs his best friends. 
Tears sting at his eyes for the nth time. 
“Come here, you crybaby,” says Jaemin, opening his arms.
-
It’s Monday, meaning he has to go back to school today. He’s not ready, how could he be? It hasn’t even been a week since you… left, but he knows he has to go back. His sister, God bless her, had let him take the first few days off but now that the weekend has ended and school has rolled back around, he has no choice.
“You look like shit.”
Donghyuck has always lacked a filter. It would hurt if Jisung didn’t know that Donghyuck meant that in the best way possible. You look like shit, he says. So I’m glad you found it in you to come to school, is what he doesn’t say. 
Jisung closes his locker with a sigh. “Thanks.” 
“No problem,” snickers his friend, and Jisung turns his head to find Mark and Jaemin approaching. “Morning,” greets Jaemin as he taps the top of Jisung’s head, despite being shorter.
“Hi,” responds Jisung quietly, clutching his chemistry textbook to his chest. The three of them look at him with quiet and somber eyes, but don’t say anything. Mark places a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving it a small rub.
“You got this.” 
The truth is, he can’t do this. The world feels quiet and empty, lacking a particular passion that you used to always embody. It could be worse. Thank goodness your relationship was rather private; he doesn’t know how he’d be able to function at school had there been curious eyes on him, if you had gone to the same school as him. 
The day goes rather slowly, and Jisung busies himself with catching up on his work that he had missed. He could almost pretend like things are normal. It’s not until fifth period calculus that something strange happens. 
An office TA pokes her head in and scrambles over to the teacher, who was in the midst of a very enthralling lecture on integrals that Jisung was definitely not paying great attention to. The TA whispers something into the teacher’s ear, then hands her a piece of paper. Mrs. Huang nods, then suddenly Jisung finds her eyes on him. “Jisung, Mr. Moon wants you in his office.” 
Him? Why him of all people?
Mr. Moon is the guidance counselor at their school, and Jisung has a moment of internal panic—had he somehow found out about you? Should he prepare himself for a lecture about grief and moving on? 
With a gulp, he nods. 
Mr. Moon is a fairly nice man, with a friendly smile and a reputation for being a pushover teacher. Jisung had met with him a few months ago to discuss his desire to pursue a soccer scholarship but he highly doubts that’s the case now.
When Jisung enters Mr. Moon’s office, the first thing he sees isn’t Mr. Moon but a tall man with a stoic expression standing behind his desk. In contrast to the stranger, Mr. Moon wears his trademark smile. “Jisung, good to see you. Still getting a kick out of that old ball?” 
Of course, Mr. Moon doesn’t know that Jisung skipped practice all last week to mope in his bed, but Jisung nods politely. “Yes, sir.”
“Good,” responds the teacher with a smile. “Take a seat.”
He gestures to the chair in front of his desk, and cautiously does Jisung take a seat. The tall, bruff man is still standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, having not yet said a single word. Somehow the atmosphere is tense, and Jisung’s quite sure he knows what this is about. 
“Now, Jisung, I’ve called you in today because—”
“Is this about (Name)?” Perhaps it’s a bit rude of him, but Jisung doesn’t want to be prodded at, at least not by people who think they know him. The last thing he wants is pity. 
Mr. Moon’s eyebrow raises just the slightest, and he leans forward on his desk. “Why, yes, it is. How did you know?”
A scoff leaves Jisung’s lips, but it’s much weaker than he would like. “My question is, how did you know? Who told you?” Who was it that shared information on his personal life? Was it his sister? His friends? 
“Nobody had to tell me, Jisung. (Name) sent the letter to me herself.”
Wait… what? 
Jisung blinks, hands falling slack on his lap. “W-What? What letter?”
Perhaps his staring is a bit too obvious, for Mr. Moon gestures to the stranger in question with a hand. “Jisung, this is Johnny Seo.” Finally, the intimidating stranger has a name. “Johnny is the head coach of the soccer team at Greenwood University—” Wait, Greenwood University? That’s Jisung’s dream school—well, it was his dream school, until they rejected his application for a soccer scholarship. What would they want to do with him? “—and he wants to offer you a full-ride scholarship.”
What? 
Jisung’s mouth falls open. What? What the hell? Hadn’t they just rejected him three months ago? His eyes must be bugging out of his face, so he blinks repeatedly, trying to find the words to say. 
“W-Wait, what? A… A full ride?” He stammers, unable to find his tongue.
The man named Johnny only nods. “Full ride. Covered tuition, dorming, and soccer costs. All you have to do is keep your grades up and keep scoring those fancy goals of yours I’ve heard about.”
“But—But, you rejected me… why now?” 
For the first time, Johnny gives a small smile. “Because of the letter.” There it is, that letter again that Jisung has no idea about. He looks to Mr. Moon for guidance. All the counselor does is open his desk drawer and pull out an envelope, which he slides across his desk. “(Name) (Last Name) wrote a recommendation letter to the university, and honestly, it was stunning. It was enough to make the admissions board… bend a little, to say the least.” 
Reaching forward, Jisung grabs the envelope and examines it in his hands. It’s opened, but yes, on the front is your handwriting. He’s cried so much this past week that he doesn’t know how many times tears have touched his eyes, but they sting once more. This time, he doesn’t let them fall. 
“She… wrote a letter. For me?” 
“That she did,” responds Mr. Moon. 
“She’s right,” says Johnny suddenly. “In our work at the university, we’re always looking for the best of the best. We should look deeper, sometimes.” The words sink in the room, and Jisung finds himself staring down at the envelope in his hands. What things had you had to say about him?
Honestly, all he can think about is his failure. How he failed to be there for you, how he cowarded in your presence when you told him to leave you alone. He bites down on his lip. 
“So? Will you accept our offer?” 
Jisung looks up again, meeting Johnny’s expectant eyes. “I…” His mouth suddenly runs dry. “I don’t know, I… I need to think about it.”
“You’re not graduating for another four months. Take your time.” Slowly, still in glassy-eyed disbelief, Jisung nods. His fingers find the edge of the envelope, tracing its pointed edge. You wrote that for him. From across the desk, Mr. Moon speaks up. “You should read that letter, Jisung, and realize what’s coming for you: good things.” 
-
To Whom It May Concern,
Hello. My name is (Name) (Last Name), and I am a high school student writing this letter to appeal a rejection by your university. Not of my own application, but of an extraordinary person with the name Jisung Park. In my humble opinion, I believe that your institution has made a grave mistake in not offering a scholarship to Jisung. So, I write this letter to appeal such a rejection, and to do something that he hated, though it was what I always did best: write about Jisung. 
Now, Jisung is a humble person who never speaks up about his struggles, but the truth is that of all students, I believe he is the most in need of this scholarship. His parents passed when he was young, and he grew up in the care of his older sister who raised him. Their small but strong family made sacrifices, gave up luxuries, and endeavored to survive. 
In the midst of this crisis, Jisung found his one savior: soccer. 
He is, without a doubt, the best soccer player I have ever seen in my entire life. He can sprint across the field in half a normal player’s time, and I’ve never seen him miss a goal or a pass. But his soccer prowess isn’t what makes him great. Moreover, Jisung is the person you want on a team. He believes in teamwork, but is always striving to be better. He doesn’t want to stand out, but does so anyways. He is never arrogant, nor boastful. If there is one person who deserves this, it’s him.
But, I am sure that you are thinking: why should this letter mean anything to you? I’m not a highly valued individual in the community, nor have I done anything significant for my name to mean anything. I’m only a seventeen year old student, a struggling journalist. 
The answer to that question is, I know Jisung Park. You only see his grades, the shallow things on his application. You will never get to see the Jisung Park that I knew and loved. 
In my time alive, Jisung Park made an impact on my life that will never be forgotten. Even when life seemed the darkest, not a beam of light in the field's view, Jisung picked me up and made me see the sunset. I know now, the sunset is beautiful, warm, and comforting—everything that Jisung is. He never left my side, and never for a single moment did I ever feel alone in his presence. The world often overplays the saying “a heart of gold,” but the truth is that Jisung has one.
I used to think that love would be red, like the burning of one’s lungs racing down a soccer field, or black and white, made to be simple. But the truth is, love is golden. Golden like the sunset painting streaks against the floor, golden like Jisung. It’s a warmth that covers you from head to toe, relenting into a future that you don’t know. 
He is my golden boy, and he can be yours too. 
I may not have a future, but if there’s one thing that I know, it’s that Jisung deserves one. 
I’m a journalist. I don’t write love letters, but perhaps this is the closest I can ever get. And should Jisung ever read this letter, I hope he knows that with this, I dedicated my last spark of sunlight to him. 
Sincerely,
(Name) (Last Name)
-
Your funeral occurs on February 13th, a week and four days after your passing. 
Jisung stands in front of the bathroom mirror, nose scrunched in concentration as he makes a feeble attempt on his necktie. This is surely not as easy as throwing on a soccer jersey. “Ugh,” he groans, fingers getting confused again.
“Need help?”
His sister’s dainty voice calls him from the bathroom door. Dressed in all black, she’s ready too. Turning his head, Jisung sighs. “Please.” She makes his way toward him, fingers coming to work on his tie already with steady hands. 
“You’re too tall now,” she says softly, with a chuckle. It’s true; he used to look up to her, physically and figuratively, but now he’s an entire head above her. “You’ve grown up a lot.” 
It was his eighteenth birthday just a few days ago but to be quite honest, he hadn’t had the heart to celebrate it. If anything, he had always thought that his eighteenth birthday would be like an epiphany for him. As though he would wake up the morning of, feeling like an adult with all the answers to the world.
The truth is, he’s eighteen now and he still feels like he has no idea what he’s doing. 
“I don’t feel any different,” he admits. “I thought eighteen would mean something.”
“You’ll get there, trust me. And anyways, I always told you not to grow up too fast.”
For a moment there’s a silence as his sister swoops the tie in and out, weaving it to form the perfect knot. Feeling something scratch at the back of his throat, Jisung speaks. “... I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for, silly? I was the one who never taught you how to knot a necktie,” she chuckles. 
“Not for that,” he says. “For last week. I… probably scared you.”
Suddenly, his sister is wearing that demure smile of hers again. The one that is small and polite, but always seems to carry more weight in it than he can see. “No. It’s okay, I knew you’d be better.” 
Naeun finally finishes the knot, tightening it the slightest around Jisung’s neck. “There you go.” He offers her a small thanks as he turns to look in the mirror, and she begins to leave. A sigh leaves him; there’s no avoiding it now, he’s ready to go.
“You know, Jisung,” she suddenly speaks up from the doorway. “I’m glad that you met her. Even if it ended up like this… you’re different. In a good way, and I think she had a lot to do with it. Even if you don’t feel different… you are.”
-
In the months of your relationship, Jisung had come to learn your insecurities. You were loud and proud, but with that confidence came an unwavering insecurity that you were unliked by those you spilled your tongue to. At the funeral, Jisung sees that that’s not at all true.
People give speeches for you, place flowers on your grave. The school newspaper had even written an article to commemorate your presence on their team, and the president of the club reads it aloud. A number of hospital staff make their appearance.
Even Jisung’s friends show up, despite the clear memory of them calling you crazy early on. Maybe they were right, maybe you were crazy. But he probably was too.
It doesn’t rain a single drop, though it had been pouring for three days before. Instead, the sun peeks through the overcast clouds, gifting sunshine. 
Jisung smiles. 
He probably looks like an idiot, carrying the soccer ball around the entire funeral but he knows what it means to him, and what it means to you. When he places it on your grave, the grass still fresh, his eyes catch the carefully written words on a singular white spot.
I love you. 
He knows that he means it. 
At eighteen, there a lot of things that Jisung still doesn’t know. But even so, there are a handful of truths that he can hold onto forever. One, he’s still an incredible soccer player and girls are still very scary. But like soccer, maybe that just takes time and practice. 
Two, growing up isn’t about a number. It’s not about partying or drinking, nor is it about rushing into relationships that have little meaning. For years Jisung had wanted to grow up, to face the world with no fears and be able to cruise through. But he knows now that growing up is about being strong in the face of sadness, pain, grief. About waking up every morning even if you feel like you have no reason to. 
Love is the same.
Love isn’t about making out on the bleachers after practice or trying to copy the coy clichés seen in romance movies. It’s about the sacrifices, like four hour bus rides. It’s about communication and connection, like a recommendation letter traced in gold. Because of you, he’s moving forward. He can go to college, and the day will never come when he stops being grateful toward you and everything you’ve done. That’s love, and he will spend the rest of his life loving you. Maybe the love will change but it will always be love. 
It hurts that you’re gone, it really does. Jisung doesn’t think it’ll ever stop hurting.
But the last thing he knows is that things will be okay.
Life moves on, and he will too. 
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red-writes · 3 years
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Escort! Bakugou x Reader
Your entire life you've been focused solely on your career, you've sacrificed a lot      of things, people and time to get where you are and it’s paid off, now you're a millionaire who is also a virgin and never had a boyfriend in their life. Your friend recommends you a male escort service. At first you hire him to go on dates and do other things couples do but the relationship develops far beyond what you could've imagined, now you're laying under him begging him to be your first. 
cw: smut, fluff, unprotected sex, reader is a capitalist lmao, I mean reader is a virgin but its not rlly virginity loss bc its not focused around that but reader does lose her virginity, unedited (but what's new)
a/n: I mean we always hear abt sugar daddies, I need rich reader pls also- monoma is a rich bitch y'all can't fight me on this he got that rich bitch mentality.
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The words ‘hard worker’ were understatements when it came to describing you. Pretty much all of your life was spent working, growing your small business with your own two hands. Now money was never an issue. A huge house with several bathrooms, fancy bags and cars, all the things you've ever wanted were now in your possession except maybe one thing. Seeing happy couples holding hands as they walked around in the park, kissing and calling each other pet names, seeing them stirred a feeling of longing inside of you. 
While it’s true that now you'd never want for anything else in your life, you still wanted something money couldn't buy you, love.
 A small tap to your shoulder brought you out of your daze.
“Your eggs are going to get cold..” Todoroki mentioned and you gave him a small smile before prodding your fork in the perfectly scrambled egg. 
“Hey, don't tell me you're thinking about that shareholders meeting this week” Monoma groans and you shake your head.
“Then what is it?” Momo wondered as she wiped her mouth with her napkin. 
“It’s just- you guys all have someone you know romantically” you say as you rest your fork on the plate, deciding that you weren't really in the mood to eat anymore. 
Monoma scoffs, “Yeah barely...I almost broke up with shinso after that last stunt he pulled in the club” 
Momo giggles, “You're still with him?” 
His face dusts pink in embarrassment as he looks away, “A-anyway, why don't you try getting an escort” Monoma recommends and it was your turn for your face to warm. 
“An e-escort?! You do realize who we are right? If someone in here were to hear us talk about such a thing..” Momo whisper-yells and Todoroki’s eyebrow quirks up
“We all know I met Izuku through a sugar daddy website though-”
You clear your throat, “I’m not necessarily looking for you know..sex...just maybe someone to spend time with Monoma” You clarify and he's rummaging through his pockets to find his phone, he fiddles with it before showing you what the site looks like.
“Duh, escorts just get paid for their time not necessarily sex, I’ll send you the link to the website” He tells you and you sigh thoughtfully, if that was really the case then it wouldn't be so wrong to hire some cute eye candy right? 
Momo waves over the waiter, “We’ll have the check please”
“Certainly ma'am” 
+
You sat at your office’s desk with the website pulled up. You'd triple checked to make sure your door was locked, you still had a reputation to uphold as the CEO of your company, you'd be traumatized if one of your employees saw you hiring an escort. 
You scrolled through the many many options of guys. Each profile consisted of a headshot of the escort along with a bio that consisted of maybe a paragraph and . You really couldn't find anyone that suited your tastes personally, until your mouse hovered over a blonde guy. 
His bio was notably shorter than everyone else’s and in his picture he looked mean, eyebrows furrowed and red eyes staring menacingly at you and yet you found yourself clicking the ‘hire!’ button next to his name. Even though he looked like his favorite hobby was stealing candy from a baby, but his looks (as shallow as that may seem) were really speaking to you and the you between your legs if you were honest.
Bakugou Katsuki huh..well he seemed worth a try. 
+
You had been through countless scenarios were you were rightfully terrified. 
Being on a date had to be the scariest out of all of them.
Bakugou was sitting in front of you, he stirred his straw around in his coffee and looked at you while you struggled to contain the rabid beating of your heart in your chest. 
“S-So..What- um..-”
“Just relax” He interrupts, his voice sounded so nice, deep and smooth like a rich dark chocolate. It only manages to make you more nervous. 
“I’m sorry- I haven't actually done this before” you confess with a nervous chuckle, hands gripping your tea cup brutally. 
He gives you this half smile and you're unsure of wether he's actually human or a demi-god at this point. “I can tell, but don't worry there's no reason to be” 
You feel slightly comforted by his words and feel yourself let loose a little, “Okay, Bakugou, what do you like to do?” you ask.
“I like going to the gym” he shrugs, “I’m not really Interesting, I’m more curious about you” he says, he places his elbow on the table and rests his chin in the palm of his hand and leans in to you. His skin is so clear- not a blemish in sight and his eyes are practically burning a hole into your soul.
“M-me? I do nothing too important..I like to sew” you respond, taking a sip of your jasmine tea. You didn't necessarily want to tell him about who you were or what you did just yet, money and status only complicate things. For now, you just wanted to be a normal young woman going out on a date. 
“Come on, don't be shy, I know there's more to you than sewing” He says, removing the straw from his coffee and placing it on a neighboring napkin. 
You bite into your bottom lip, “Well, I honestly don't do much besides work, it’s taken up so much time in my life I can't say I do much else” you admit and Bakugou hums thoughtfully. He doesn't respond for a bit, the sounds of the coffee shop fill the silence instead. 
“Okay, I have an idea” 
You cock your head to the side curiously.
“Let’s ditch the formalities and go have some real fun, I think its about time you lived your life” he proposes and your mouth hands open. Was he serious? He looked it. You couldn't help the giddy feeling that bubbled up within you, a feeling you hadn't felt in a long time, excitement. It made you feel young again. 
“What do you say?”
“Alright!” 
+
The two of you spent all day together, visiting various hidden places around the city, you did shopping and even some sightseeing. For the first time in a while you felt alive, like you were actually a person and not just a unfeeling robot who simply lived to work. 
Your last stop was a park. With a large lake in the center Bakugou suggested you guys feed the birds before heading home. With a handful of birdseed you gently sprinkled some into the water and watched the geese gobble it up.
“When I was five, I had a huge fear of geese..” Bakugou admits and you're chuckling.
“No way, really?” you turned to face him and when you do he’s already looking at you, smiling fondly, eyes filled with an emotion that you really couldn't seem to put your finger on.
“What? Do I have something on my face that you're not telling me about?” You pout and he shakes his head before turning his attention back to the birds as he sprinkles more of the food into the lake. 
“No, just realized somethin’” 
The sun’s beginning to set now, the sky is illuminated by hues of orange and pink. You nudge him with your arm, “Realized what?” 
He turns back to face you, there's an adoring look on his face. 
“You look pretty when you're having fun” 
A look of surprise crosses your features before your ears burn in embarrassment at the sudden compliment, the butterflies in your stomach flutter around more and more the longer you two stare at each other. 
“Thanks” You mumble before looking down at your palm full of birdseed. 
+
Dates with Bakugou become more and more frequent after that. The two of you often meeting up more than you meet up with your regular friends. Bakugou doesn't even charge you anymore, even though you've tried to tell him it was fine he still insisted otherwise. The two of you even exchanged numbers and spoke quite often on the phone. Texts like,
‘this song reminded me of you’ and ‘don't work too hard, idiot’ were often exchanged. 
After maybe a month of this happening you realized that the warm feeling you got in your chest whenever Bakugou brushed your hair into place or stopped to tie your shoe for you or even when he texted you good morning wasn't because you appreciated him being a good friend, you liked him. It took a month to finally decipher your feelings for him but once you did..what the heck were you supposed to do now?
Never once in your life had you confessed to someone let alone dated them, what would happen to your friendship with Bakugou if things didn't work out? You didn't want to stop being friends with him, you loved being with him, he was the reason you finally started taking breaks and learned to relax. 
You had a ton of questions to answer for yourself but you couldn't do it right now, you had a date with Bakugou. He told you to dress up and you weren't sure where you were going but you trusted him to take you somewhere you'd enjoy. Around 8pm like promised, he was there to pick you up. His car was fairly nice, you assumed his high pay rates were being used for something but now you know what. He was wearing a black three piece suit, it was crisp and you could clearly tell it was expensive, his hair was slicked back and he had a single diamond stud in his left ear. He looked damn good. It was making you a little nervous about how fancy this place actually was. 
The drive to dinner was unusually quiet. Bakugou typically did most of the conversations with you seeing as you were mostly an awkward sausage but tonight was different, he had a stern look on his face and you felt a little worried. Bakugou noticed your nervous look in the rearview mirror and without skipping a beat placed his hand gently upon your thigh and gave it a small squeeze, this thumb moved back and forth in a soothing manner. All without taking his eyes off the road. 
You felt a shiver run up your spine and you bit your lip from potentially making any noise, you turned your head to face the window to prevent him from seeing the look on your face. 
+
Bakugou was right about the restaurant being fancy. The place was full of people you could recognize, everyone from business moguls to celebrities, it was almost a little intimidating but you knew probably how tough it was for Bakugou to even get a table reserved at this place so you decided to instead choke down any kindlings of anxiety and replace it with a gratefulness for his hard work.
You swirled the champagne around in your glass while Bakugou took a bite out of his steak, the atmosphere between you two was a little awkward and it hadn't been like this since the two of you met it was a little alarming. 
“Is something wrong..?” you ask after gently resting the glass back on the table, he wipes his mouth with his napkin and sighs.
“I’m sorry that- I seem so weird tonight” he apologizes and you shake your head.
“No no don't worry about it, I’m just worried something bad happened” you tell him, you lean forward and place your hand on his. His fingers lace themselves with yours and for a moment it feels like its just the two of you in the restaurant together. 
“Nothing bad, actually something good” he explains and you're giving him a small smile
“Something good?” you question and he leans in even closer to you.
“I mean, ever since I started hanging out with you I feel like my life's changed, I’m not one to be super cheesy but I just- fuck..I like you” his face is turning a light pink and in a moment of courage you close the small distance between the two of you and press your lips against his. He immediately reciprocates the kiss, his hand sneaks up your forearm and settles on your elbow using it to pull you in closer. 
When the kiss finally breaks the two of you are a panting mess, then you hear the waiter clear his throat and Bakugou uses his thumb to wipe the lipstick from the corner of his lips.
“Check, please”
+
Upon entering your home, there wasn't much speaking. Your arms were wrapped around his neck as his hands fumbled with the zipper on the back of your dress. The two of you blindly walked backwards until you tripped backwards onto the couch. Bakugou completely stripped you of your dress and  laid it across the back of the couch, your hands made quick work of his pants unbuttoning and unzipping them, he kicked them off eagerly uncaring of where the fabric was strewn. He cupped your cheek and continued to kiss you as he helped you wiggle out of your underwear. He sucked in a breath at feeling how wet you already were.  He ran a finger up and down your slit before gently nudging a finger inside. 
The sensation was foreign, it felt odd at first but the more he kept twisting and thrusting the finger inside of you the better it began to feel. He slid in another one and began making a scissor motion inside of you. Your hips raised off the cushions of the couch, you moaned into the kiss and eventually he pulled away from it, instead opting to kiss the skin of your neck. Your moans along with the wet sounds of his fingers fingering you open filled the space. It felt good, you could feel the knots in your stomach threaten to untangle the harder his fingers fucked themselves into you. 
His movements slowly came to a halt and he slid his fingers out. Your eyes clouded with tears and your legs were shaking, disappointed that he stopped when you were so close. He pulled his cock from his underwear and began stroking it over you.
“Ready?” He asks as he grinds his cock against your twitching entrance and you're gripping his shoulder before he makes another move. 
“A-actually..please just be gentle its-i’ve never done this before” you confess and his eyes widen for once, taken aback by your sudden profession. He gives you a small nod, “Promise.”
With one smooth stroke he bottoms out within you. Your back is arching off the couch as your mouth hangs open in a silent cry. The feeling is an addicting mix of pain and pleasure that has the tears you were holding in begin to roll down your cheeks, Bakugou gently kisses them away and uses his fingers to wipe away the stray tears. For a while, you're simply holding each other, bakugou whispers words of comfort in your ears while you slowly familiarize yourself with having him inside of you. 
When Bakugou feels your hips begin to move against his, he takes that as his sign to begin moving. His thrusts start shallow, hips just barely touching yours as he doesn't want to hurt you and you quickly become frustrated with his kindness. Your legs wrap around his waist and pull him closer to you, forcing him to bottom out inside you again. You whine his name and he shakes his head. 
“And here I was trying to be considerate” he huffs out, you grip his tie and pull him down and press a gentle kiss against his lips. 
“I didn't ask you to take it easy on me” you remind him and he scoffs
“You asked for this”
You're suddenly flipped onto your stomach and he raises your hips in the air, he pulls himself all the way out of you until the head of his cock is the only thing you can still feel inside of you, he rams his cock back into you and you're gripping the couch for dear life. His hips are ruthless, lewd slapping noises fill the room as the head of his cock kisses your cervix with every thrust. His heavy balls  greet your clit with an unceremonious slap. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, you can't think of anything else except Bakugou. You'd been completely fucked dumb on your first time. 
You feel Bakugou’s fingers lace into your hair and grip the roots before pulling at them and forcing your head back. A jolt of pleasure flows through your body as his cock pushes up against your g-spot, your legs and kicking around behind you.
“No! cum-cumming kats I-” you can hardly finish your own sentence due to how hard your orgasm hits you, your body his shaking as bakugou releases your hair and uses his free hand to grip your waist as he desperately humps you, chasing his own release. Your cunt spasms around him in overstimulation, Katsuki only curses under his breath as you squeeze down on him, your cunt clamps down on his cock as you're brought to your second orgasm and his movements finally begin to slow and an unfamiliar warm fills your tummy. 
He doesn't pull out right away. Instead he gently lays you backwards onto his chest and you snuggle into his chest. 
He whistles, “Nice place”
“Pfft- don't try to make small talk with me after you just finished banging me” you giggle sleepily.
“Fair enough, still, I’m curious about how you can even afford this place” he wonders, hand rubbing up and down your back, only easing you closer to falling asleep.
“Hard work” you reply he takes your hand in his and kisses the back of it. 
“That’s my hard working girl” 
you feel the butterflies swarm around your stomach all over again at his small comment. 
“Does this mean we're dating now?” you ask and he gives you a little chuckle.
“Yes, if you want” 
“Good then you're my boyfriend” your eyes are fluttering closed at this point, you merely nuzzle into his chest and he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. 
“Goodnight love” 
“Night Kats..”
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cockslutpadalecki · 3 years
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A Decade Under The Influence Writing Challenge
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As I recently hit 10K followers and I’m approaching my 10 year anniversary of running this blog, (okay so it’s in 2022… let’s just skim over that part quickly), I would’ve normally picked a theme surrounding the number ten as per my other challenges, ‘cause who doesn’t love a good theme, but I decided to concentrate this one around my te(e)nage years, and the music that shaped it.
If you’re not familiar with any of the bands/artists below, I strongly suggest checking them out! Disclaimer: I’m purposely trying to include the cliche things we did back in the MySpace days... and the mood board is supposed to be awful so don’t even call me out, I’m calling myself out 😂 
xXRULESXx
💕 Writers must be 18+ to participate.
💕 One creator per lyric choice. There is plenty to go around, but they will be given on a first come, first serve basis. So get yours in fast!
💕 Please send me an ask for your chosen lyric. My memory is like a sieve, I need to keep track of that shit. 
💕 I have picked certain lyrics, but if you want to base your entry on the entire song, that’s fine. And if only the lyrics calls out to you then that’s all good too. Write where your inspiration takes you!
💕 End date is August 29th. Please get in touch if you need an extension closer to the time.
💕 Word count can be anything up to 4K. If you do need to go over (we’re talking a few hundred words, not by an extra 5K please!), let me know in advance. I only include this as I don’t have a lot of free time, and if something is super long, I can’t always read it all in one go.
💕 Anything over 500 words must be under a keep reading line break. And on that note, please include your “read more” line after a paragraph. Let’s keep everyone’s dashes nice and tidy.
💕 Story can be reader insert, OC, third person, gender neutral etc. This is the inclusion zone, we’re not here to exclude anybody.
💕 Submissions can be part of another challenge or bingo you are participating in, but not as an ongoing series. It will need to be read as a stand-alone.
💕 Characters “accepted” are:
- Jensen Ackles Characters: Dean Winchester or Soldier Boy.
- Jared Padalecki Characters: Sam Winchester or Cordell Walker.
- Chris Evans Characters: Steve Rogers, Ransom Drysdale or Andy Barber.
- Sebastian Stan Characters: Bucky Barnes, Lance Tucker or Lee Bodecker.
💕 No Stucky as a romantic pairing please. And while I do read RPF sometimes, this challenge is reserved for fictional characters only.
💕 A/B/O, every kind of AU and all other tropes are encouraged.
💕 Can be fluff, angst, smut, smangst, non-con, dub-con. Whatever makes your little heart happy, Honestly not a lot is off the table in this house… which leads me nicely onto my next point.
💕 The only things I won’t read are toilet stuff (yeah, I see you “Bucky has a piss kink” people… no thank you), lactation kink or paedophilia.
💕 That being said, please tag all of your warnings appropriately. 
💕 You don’t have to be following me to participate.
💕 Tag me in your submissions! And use the tag #decadeundertheinfluencechallenge within the first FIVE tags. (If I haven’t liked your work within three days of your post date, please send me an ask or DM in case Tumblr has swallowed the notification. Please bear in mind that I like all fics to “bookmark” them so if I have done this, you don’t need to let me know it’s been posted).
💕 I reserve the right to not reblog any post if it goes against any of the rules stipulated.
💕 Please shoot me a message if anything doesn’t quite make sense, or you’d just like some clarification on any rules etc.
💕 Most importantly, have a blast!
-x- lyrics under the cut -x-
xXLYRICSXx
Note: I tried to pick the most popular songs by these artists, but some lyrics just didn’t translate in a fanfiction setting (for me anyway) so I picked others.
“I'm just a notch in your bedpost, you're just a line in a song” - Sugar We’re Goin’ Down: Fall Out Boy 
"My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you" - Until The Day I Die: Story Of The Year
“My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating” - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams: Green Day
“I don't love you like I loved you yesterday” - I Don’t Love You: My Chemical Romance
“How does it feel when you kiss when you know that I trust you? And do you think about me when he fucks you?” - Your Love Is A Lie: Simple Plan
“I don't want this moment to ever end, where everything's nothing without you” - With Me: Sum 41
“You want nothing to do with me. I, I don't know what to do with you 'cause you don't know what you do to me” - Beating Heart Baby: Head Automatica
“You were fake, I was great. Nothing personal” - Break Your Little Heart: All Time Low
“In sorrow I speak your name, and my voice mirrors my torment” - The End Of Heartache: Killswitch Engage
“She's a dwelling place for demons. She's a cage for every unclean spirit” - Beast And The Harlot: Avenged Sevenfold 
“Will you still hold me when you see what I have done? Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?” - The Crimson: Atreyu
“I know you touched her with them, you make me fucking sick” - Death Car: Fightstar
“I've never been perfect, but neither have you” - Leave Out All The Rest: Linkin Park 
“And I'm addicted to your punishment, and you're the master, and I am craving this disaster” - Getting Away With Murder: Papa Roach 
“But I'm not sleeping and you're not here. The thought stops my heart. Do you notice I'm gone?” - Letters To You: Finch 
“Would you be my thousand fucks?” - I’m A Fake: The Used
“I still press your letters to my lips, and cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss. I couldn't face a life without your light, but all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight” - Snuff: Slipknot 
“When you tell me I'm a wreck, you say that I'm a mess. How could you expect anything less?” - Tell Me I’m A Wreck: Every Avenue
“You're so good at stretching the truth into a sugar-coated lie” - A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing: This Providence 
“Your lipstick, his collar. Don't bother, angel, I know exactly what goes on” - Cute Without The ‘E’: Taking Back Sunday
“But I was too in love with you to leave. You were too in love with having someone, someone you could form to fit your needs” - Saving Seats: Across Five Aprils
“If I was to have just one more day, I’d make sure that I spent it without you” - Nicotine And Alcohol Saved My Life: Deaf Havana
“Your promises, they look like lies. Your honesty, like a back that hides a knife” - Attack: 30 Seconds To Mars
“I'll be waiting in the dark to drive this blade straight through your heart” - Ride The Wings Of Pestilence: From First To Last 
“You're like an angel but with broken wings. A heart so cold can never show mercy, and you've got me right where you want me” - You Stupid Girl: Framing Hanley 
“Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book” - Juneau: Funeral For A Friend
“Standing over him, he begged me not to do what I knew I had to do cause I'm so in love with you” - My Bloody Valentine: Good Charlotte
“I watched his wildest dreams come true. Not one of them involving you” - Misery Business: Paramore
“You were everything I wanted, but I just can't finish what I've started” - My Friends Over You: New Found Glory
“I can't find a way out. And the clocks are broken, leaking time. One more second, I may die 'cause my wounds are open bleeding life” - Decorating For Cinco De Mayo: Kenotia 
“I'm not gonna hear your reasons and ‘please-just-take-me-backs.’ We never were right. Don't waste your breath” - How You Love Me Now: Hey Monday
“All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending” - My Happy Ending: Avril Lavigne
“Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you. Always. Kiss you, taste you, all night. Always” - Always: Blink 182
“Stripped down to my naked core, the darkest corners of my mind are yours. That's where you live. That's where you breathe. So go on, infect me. Go on and scare me to death. Dare me to leave you, tell me I'd never forget“ - SOS: Apocalyptica ft. Cristina Scabbia
“Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer” - Thunder: Boys Like Girls 
“I lived through the damage from the heart you took from me” - Line In The Sand: Bleeding Through 
“There's a glossary of dirty words for people just like you” - Taste The Red Heads: Dead Poetic
“You don't know how you've betrayed me. And somehow you've got everybody fooled” - Everybody’s Fool: Evanescence 
“Dressed to kill, you look so right. I am drunk with lust tonight. Your wounds are opening wide, and they might be just my size” - Side Walk When She Walks: Alexisonfire
“And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did. And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did” - A Lonely September: Plain White T’s
“I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret” - Dirty Little Secret: The All-American Rejects
“So let me get this straight, say now you love me all along? What made you hesitate to tell me in words what you really feel?” - A Day Late: Anberlin
“I feel you on my fingertips, my tongue dances behind my lips for you” - All Around Me: Flyleaf 
“I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever” - Ohio Is For Lovers: Hawthorne Heights
“I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know. A reason for all that I do, and the reason is you” - The Reason: Hoobastank
“Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress? Then think of what you did, and how I hope to God he was worth it” - Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off: Panic! At The Disco
“And I have reasons to believe that I'm not the only one you spend this time with” - Smile In Your Sleep: Silverstein 
“I always knew you were such a sucker for that” - A Boy Brushed Red... Living In Black And White: Underoath
“I know you're gonna break my heart, and my life without you in it is a life that's not worth living” - Here I Stand: Marina Lake
“I need to hear your voice to talk me back into existence” - The Only One: The Mile After
“Pain without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all” - Pain: Three Days Grace
“My broken heart's the only thing of value I have left” - Crystal Clear: Young Guns
“I hope you choke on every word you spoke when you were screaming at me” - Lovers and Liars: Matchbook Romance
“All the problems make me wanna go like a bad girl straight to video" - Straight To Video: Mindless Self Indulgence
“Remember when I said I love you? Well, forget it, I take it back. I was just a stupid kid back then. I take back every word that I said” - Stupid Kid: Alkaline Trio
“When you say those things in my ear, why do you always tell me what you wanna hear?” - All These Things I Hate: Bullet For My Valentine
“I know your type. Boy, you're dangerous. Yeah, you're that guy I'd be stupid to trust” - Good Girls Go Bad: Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester
“What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat” - Caraphernelia: Pierce The Veil
“Every wound will shape me, every scar will build my throne” - Throne: Bring Me The Horizon
“Please send me anything but signals that are mixed, 'cause I can't read your rolling eyes” - Again I Go Unnoticed: Dashboard Confessional
“She's just a little girl. She knows nothing of this little game we like to play” - Sugar Skulls: Envy On The Coast
“A cloud hangs over and mutes my happiness. A thousand ships couldn't sail me back from distress” - Anna Molly: Incubus
“So just come back, we'll make it better. So just come back, I'll make it better than it ever was” - Maybe: Secondhand Serenade
“Tell me what you thought about when you were gone and so alone. The worst is over. You can have the best of me” - Best Of Me: The Starting Line
“Simply a look can break your heart” - Miss Murder: AFI
“But your love has never kept me warm when you weren't here” - My Darkest Hour: Scary Kids Scaring Kids
“They’ll tear us apart if you give them the chance” - Check Yes Juliet: We The Kings
Tagging a bunch of babes who might be/showed interested in taking part/could signal boost this: @winchest09 @deanwanddamons @sweeterthanthis @princessmisery666​ @threeminutesoflife @letsby @waywardbaby @ozarkthedog @msmarvelwrites @avintagekiss24 @imanuglywombat @caffiend-queen @angrythingstarlight @stargazingfangirl18 @navybrat817 @river-soul @drabblewithfrannybarnes @the-iceni-bitch @myinconnelly1 @thinkinghardhardlythinking @jay-and-dean @fictionalabyss @impala-dreamer @kittenofdoomage @flamencodiva @sapphirescrolls @there-must-be-a-lock @downanddirtydean @katelynw93 @wonder-cole @deangirl93 @becs-bunker @watermelonlipstick @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @percywinchester27 @jensengirl83 @sams-sass @soaringeag1e @superfanficnatural @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @buckyownsmylife @hysteria87 @hoboal87 @phoenixblack89 @viinchester @holylulusworld @honeysucklesteve @manawhaat
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its-miichan · 3 years
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TGCF criticisms
Spoilers and unpopular/critical opinions ahead! Beware! I tried to like this, I really did, but this novel really makes me frustrated. It clearly has so much potential, but so much of that potential was wasted on pandering romance and shallow caricatures of main characters. Overall 1.5-2 stars because it gets worse the more you think about it. CHARACTERS: 1. The main character, Xie Lian was wildly bland and boring. He is presented as the kindest, purest, most selfless person in the world, but really he was just a bland white lotus. With Xie Lian, his personality can be described in just a sentence or so, while the author's other two MC's (Wei Wuxian and Shen Qingqiu) are both charming, funny, and deep with their own motivations. Xie Lian just walks around in the story with no purpose and he says that he wants to help the common people, but he really hasn't done that! He's barely helped anyone at all, and those times he did help people are quickly followed by flirting with the ML and forgetting all about the people he was supposed to help. Honestly, in the past, Xie Lian was also the biggest jerk ever. He gave up his own friends and family's well being for his own sense of justice and was stubborn to a fault and refused to listen. What's worse is that none of these flaws are actually addressed, and the story just lets him roll with it and never actually calls him out on it. If you want to see all the reasons why he's a poorly written character, check out this reddit post: https://www. reddit. com/r/MXTX/comments/j2l9ye/why_xl_is_a_poorly_written_character_in_my_opinion/
2. The ML, Hua Cheng, is equally as bad. He is extremely shallow and such a static character, with his development in the present times being nonexistent and his development from the past to the present being wholly nonsensical. His personality is very cliche and his motivations and thoughts are left entirely up to the reader's imagination, which significantly reduces character depth. He could've been such a great character, a ghost king who rules over hell and is morally grey, but instead he is dumbed down to a Xie Lian fanboy. Everything about him not related to Xie Lian is thrown at us in a few paragraphs if at all, and what little motivation and thoughts about him we do get always fall flat. [Like apparently this guy saved him once, and he fell in love with him and became devoted to him for 800 years? Like people get saved all the time and we don't see them going 800 years and 3 deaths for a guy they've barely talked to] Also, he is wildly unlikable. Of course, this is purely subjective, but he is irritatingly smug and lords over literally everyone he meets. It doesn't help that he's an insufferable Mary Sue with an endless array of powers, intelligent as hell and knows literally everything, really good at painting, sculpting, woodworking, and on top of that the richest, most powerful, most handsome, and most charismatic man in the book. His biggest flaw is supposed to be his insecurity and inferiority complex, but that barely ever comes up and 90% of the time he is arrogant and smug. More information on why he's badly written here: https://www. reddit. com/r/MXTX/comments/iskkp5/why_hc_is_a_bad_character_in_my_opinion/
3. The side characters in my opinion are written far better, but obviously quite underdeveloped. They are all three dimensional and have their own thoughts, emotions, and feelings as well as a believable backstory, but so many of them are quickly offed to make way for the main couple, some of them not only not becoming better, but actually getting quite a whole lot worse. Qi Rong, who was supposed to be super strong demon that is one of the 4 great evils becomes a comedic relief gremlin who just shows up for some comedy and then leaves. Feng Xin and Mu Qing, the MC's childhood caretakers disappear for like 100 chapters after we're given their backstories and then once they reappear, they don't do anything either. Shi Qingxuan, who in my opinion is by far the best character in the book, has his arc left open with no ending at all, only to be forgotten about for 80+ chapters only to reappear completely the same with no character growth at all. All of this is because the main couple take up so much of the book, and the rest of the side characters and their character growth is sabotaged for the author's ego so that the main couple can look better and get more screen time.
4. I lost interest in the story pretty quickly due to the bland characters and their out of place romance and how unlikable they were. A lot of this novel was very surface level, and it's pretty on paper, but when you think about the characters a bit longer, the more bland and shallow they become.
PLOT: 1. The plot was... There was no plot. It was just a collection of monster of the day arcs that aimlessly meander about and then everything returns to the status quo once they return to Xie Lian's temple/home. Obviously books 4 and 5 were a lot more to my taste because the writing was a lot more concise and the pacing was less slow and pointless, as well as actually incorporating fantasy elements and shaking up the status quo. However, the other 3 books, especially books 1 and 2 had way too much fan service, pointless romance, and plot lines that don't go anywhere and don't contribute to the story.
2. The past plot line, or the flashbacks were pretty interesting, except for how b*tchy the MC was. Book 2 has a lot of important information and some action, but a lot of it was boring fluff that didn't really contribute to the story other than introducing the villain and showing how XL and HC met. The rest, we're literally told already and there's no new information. Book 4 was supposed to be suffering heavy, and I agree that the character development was alright, but it was too brooding and oppressive. In the end, I just stopped feeling bad for Xie Lian because of how bad the story was trying to make you feel for him. I was not invested in him, and although he was significantly more deep in this book than in the other 4, the bad logic is still there. [you wanna kill people but then someone gives you a bamboo hat and you're all sunshine and rainbows again?] The suffering is excessive in my opinion, and although it's supposed to provide contrast to the romance, it just feels done in poor taste. seriously, 20 chapters straight of suffering is not necessary, and the pacing and tone suffers because of this. The flashbacks really don't contribute too much to XL or HC's character development, but is just there to be angsty and cryp*rn.
3. The final battle was the most unbelievable thing I've ever read. All the gods got together and the first part seemed pretty epic as we got to see all the side characters finally showcase their powers.... Until the MC and ML show up. The MC and ML show up, and instantly the background extras—excuse me I mean side characters, go back into hibernation as the main couple show off how cool and powerful they are. And then we get to the final confrontation, which has our MC, ML, and MC's two friends face off against literally the most powerful being in the freaking universe. I thought it would be a tense fight scene with lots of close calls, but I was so disappointed. Instead the ML is so OP that he breaks the spells binding MC's powers, and MC becomes so overpowered and slams the big boss into the wall with the power of love while his two friends just stand there doing nothing.
4. A lot of what happens in the flashback is directly Xie Lian's fault, but the book never seems to register it? I won't go into detail on this point since it's already covered in the first Reddit thread, but basically because of XL's s*upidity and refusal to listen to anyone else, the people around him suffer.
WRITING: 1. The writing wasn't great. It was very choppy and as I said previously, very monotonous and monster-of-the-day. Yes there were great scenes which got to me, but most of it was really boring and descriptions and dialogue dragged on and on with no end, and with the bland MC, it wasn't even interesting such as the dialogue in MDZS was. Side arcs were introduced with no warning and ended with no warning, leaving the reader wondering "Why was that even there in the first place if it was just going to be forgotten about?"
2. The water demon/wind god arc. The opening and most of the middle of this arc was extremely good, the logic and mystery was written well, and Shi Qingxuan's (the wind god) antics were funny. But after the big reveal and the tense climax, the story just... stops. Like it's literally forgotten about. [The MC gets dragged out by his all powerful lover, they romance some more, and forget all about Shi Qingxuan who is literally left in the hands of the second or third most powerful demon ever who is also his mortal enemy]
3. The incessant flirting really got on my nerves. The tension and tone of the entire story got completely ruined because of the MC and ML flirting and the MC blushing and giggling while the ML teases him and everyone else is literally fighting for their lives. This felt very fan-service like, and it felt like the author stopped trying and just fed us dog food after an emotionally taxing arc so that she wouldn't have to close out the arc properly, completely destroying the tone. Speaking of the tone, the tone whiplash was just... wow. You're fed fluff and romance during or after a high tensity and highly emotional scene with no connection at all, and you're just supposed to accept it instead of wondering what's happening to the characters you actually care about.
4. Romance and side arcs quite disconnected from the story. Quite frankly, most of this book is just romance with the plot and characters put in second place because "lOOk hOw CuTe the COuPLe iS!" You could literally take out all the side arcs and the story would literally be no different. The romance overtakes the entire plot and becomes the main point of the story. With her other two books, the romance is like the icing on the cake. With this book, the icing overtakes the cake and becomes the cake.
5. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons I was uninterested through most of the book was due to the lack of tension and suspense. The flashbacks were better in the sense that Xie Lian was helpless and couldn't figure anything out, which was why he was just as likely to get hurt as anyone, making the stakes significantly higher. But in the present, with the existence of Hua Cheng, that tension is completely gone. This is because HC knows basically all there is to know, and what he doesn't know he can figure out in seconds. Additionally, he is super powerful to the point that anything that can harm XL can be one shot K.O'ed by him. At this point the conflict becomes trivial to the point where I'm just asking "why are we solving this mystery anyways when HC can just blast it into oblivion?"
6. The fact that HC does the bare minimum in arcs frustrates me. If you're going to include a character with powers that will basically deem any threat against them null, then actually use them at least! HC's apathy does not feel like a coherent part of his character, but an excuse for MXTX to drag out plot lines and make things unnecessarily long and winded. Additionally, his apathy is contradictory. On one hand, he is super overprotective of XL and wants to make sure he won't get hurt a single bit, but on the other hand, he has this advanced ideology of the 21st century that he believes XL is capable so won't constrain him as much. If anything, they should start out with HC as this overprotective follower and have a dysfunctional relationship, and end up with XL teaching HC that he is able to do things and doesn't mind doing them, and that HC can live a life outside of him as well. That would've introduced some narrative stakes and romantic tension, but no, MXTX just had to make these characters perfect in every way.
ROMANCE: 1. The logic is so flawed here. The reason that HC started loving XL is literally because Xie Lian saved him once as a child and therefore he will devote his entire life to XL, not caring about literally anything else. The reason that XL started loving HC is even more so. The thing is someone like say Shi Qingxuan has done every bit as much for XL as HC has, but we don't see XL fall in love with SQX, do we? HC literally listens to him talk and XL falls in love with him, and although it does make sense due to XL being lonely for 800 years, how low the bar is set really bothers me.
2. The constant blue-balling was annoying. At some point, the ignorant MC became annoying and self indulgent instead of cute, and having it be drawn out over nearly 200 chapters makes it even worse. The MC is supposed to be super intelligent, but he literally misses all of the super obvious hints the ML drops at him, which is so weird.
3. It felt like MXTX (the author) went overboard on the romance here. Like she tried way too hard to the point where it was obvious she wanted to make this "the most romantic CP ever". The aesthetics went so overboard with butterflies and flowers as romantic themes, thousands of lanterns, the red string of fate (which didn't even do anything in the actual story), poetry, etc.
4. The romance could almost be described as kind of creepy. Like the ML obsesses over the MC for 800 years, isolating himself from the world and not taking any side of the story besides MC's is supposed to be romantic, but it really isn't. The ML carves thousands of statues of the MC, which is sweet in a way, but also really, really creepy. To quote someone from NovelUpdates who put it 100x better than I could: " They don't feel like equal lovers, HC obviously worships XL to an unbelievably amazing degree while XL only knew he existed from only a while ago (Is this obsession? Stalker-ish? I know his stalker-ish tendencies are usually played for laughs, but realistically?) HC very very very rarely calls XL by his given name but with GeGe or CrownPrince, dude has a name you know. I know you feel lower than XL, but seriously man, the guy's your life partner. HC would destroy the world if XL said to. He'd probably try to talk to XL first, confirm things, but if at the end XL really does want it, HC would do it. He lives for XL, he has no other reason to do something aside for XL. No reason to say NO for himself. They're not equals in which one wanna do something bad, the other would stop him because they have their own convictions. You can't tell me one only lives for one person's sake, will do anything for that guy, and has no attachments in the world aside from that guy, is a healthy person. It may seem romantic, but when you actually think about it, it becomes uncomfortable."
5. The romance was really cheesy. There were some powerful moments, but it was mostly flirting and "he fell on top of me" or "he needs mouth to mouth". Most of it was just the ML flirting with the MC, which you may like if you like this kind of stuff, but I really didn't enjoy it. Overall, I was desperate to love this novel, but I couldn't because of the shallow characters, unlikable main pair, and the constant abandonment of great plot lines in favor of the shallow romance. It felt like MXTX was constantly trying to one-up MDZS in angst, drama, and romance, but at the same time it felt like she didn't know what to do with the characters and world, and therefore fed us fan service and took the easy way out. This review is purely subjective, and if you want to read this go ahead, but I'll be seeing myself out.
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lunaverseimagine · 4 years
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Golden
Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Hufflepuff!Reader
Request: “hi, i really love everything you've written and I was wondering if you could maybe write a Cedric Diggory fluff cuteness study with a hufflepuff female reader if not that's totally okay, just want to say your amazing! Thanks!” - @erikathehufflepuff​
Warnings: Food, slight angst but mostly fluff
Word count: 1.9k
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Gif not mine, credit to owner
One paragraph. You were supposed to write a three-foot long essay about the use of boom berry in modern potions, and all you’d got so far was one measly paragraph. Open books lay haphazardly on the table you’d claimed for the evening, their pages void of any relevance to your assignment. You rested your forehead on the parchment in front of you, letting out a frustrated huff. How were you going to finish in time when you couldn’t find anything useful? You didn’t normally leave homework until the day before it was due, but school had been so busy lately, plus there was a quidditch match that you wouldn’t miss, even if it meant detention with Snape. 
You loved the thrill of matches, students sporting their house colours, energy radiating from every stand. You donned as many yellow clothes as you could, full to the brim with Hufflepuff pride. For this match you and your friends had made a giant banner depicting a badger that was enchanted to dance when Hufflepuff scored a goal. Holding the banner up made your arms ache, but it was worth the pain to see the Hufflepuff team mimicking the badger’s dance on their brooms. But even that couldn’t beat watching the way Cedric’s face glowed as he became absorbed in the game: eyebrows slightly furrowed, cheeks flushed from flying, hair sticking in all directions. You were convinced he was born to be a seeker. You were so lucky to have him as your best friend, and seeing him so full of life made you feel complete. The most wonderful part of all was after Cedric caught the snitch, earning a Hufflepuff win. Instead of enjoying a victory lap, he flew straight over to the Hufflepuff stand to share the win with his house, grinning at the first years who were so full of excitement they were jumping up and down. After holding the snitch in the air, erupting a cheer from the crowd, he turned to where you and your friends were standing, beaming up at him.
“Nice banner Sunshine.” He winked at you before joining his team, a chorus of cheers calling after him. You had tried to ignore the way his nickname for you made your heart race.
A poke on your shoulder pulled you out of your thoughts and back into the musty library, where you lifted your head with a small grunt.
“Whaddya want-” You stopped abruptly at the sight of the Golden Boy himself grinning down at you, holding a plate of steaming food. Much to your dismay, your stomach let out a loud groan as the smell of casserole hit your nostrils. Cedric laughed good-naturedly.
“I noticed you weren’t at dinner and figured you’d be here.” He shrugged. “Sounds like it’s a good thing I came.” He let out another chuckle, and you silently willed your stomach to be quiet. Noticing that the table was occupied, he placed the plate carefully on your lap and sat in the chair beside you. You took the cutlery he handed you with a nod of thanks, your heart swelling at his thoughtfulness. Sustenance was exactly what you needed right now. In fact, Cedric always seemed to know what you needed: when to bring you hot chocolate and a blanket because you were so absorbed in studying that you didn’t notice you were shivering. When to crack a joke because you hadn’t smiled in a while. When to hug you because sometimes words weren’t enough. Suddenly you were overwhelmed with a rush of feeling that made heat rush to your cheeks. Your stomach flipped in a way it never did for anyone else. But Cedric was your best friend, and you treasured that friendship with your whole being. You would never want to risk what you already had.
Realising you’d been still for too long, you started shovelling forkfuls of the delicious meal into your mouth. Cedric was perched at an angle so he could face you fully, watching with amusement as you wolfed down the food. “Graceful.” He remarked.
“Shuddup.” You replied through a mouthful, gravy dripping down your chin. You wiped it away shamelessly with the sleeve of your cloak. 
Glancing at your parchment, Cedric shook his head. “Did someone spend so long making banners they forgot to do their homework?”
“Oh shove off Ced.” You pushed his arm lightly, but there was no conviction in your words. Honestly, you were grateful he’d come, not just for the food but also the company. Everything felt easier when Cedric was around - your problems felt a bit lighter and the world a bit happier. “You know you loved the banner.”
“Can’t deny it.” You shared a playful look with him, both of you struggling to hold back grins, before placing your empty plate on the floor, not bothering to clear space for it on the table. “Come on Sunshine, let me help.” He nudged your knee with his, and the edges of your lips twitched into a reluctant smile. You couldn’t tell if it was the offer of help or the nickname that made you feel so elated.
“Really?”
“Of course. Now, what fun topic are we working on today?”
“Boom berry.” The monotony in your voice perfectly communicated your level of enthusiasm for this essay. Unaffected, Cedric’s brows furrowed as though he was trying to remember something, and your stomach flipped at how cute he looked when he was concentrating. It was like having a front row seat to a match, seeing the focus carved into his features. Suddenly his eyes widened, and he left you at the table as he roamed the shelves.
Not wanting to sit uselessly, you grabbed one of the books you’d abandoned earlier. You hoped you’d missed something on your first skim-through, that the book actually held all the information you needed. Alas, this was not the book to save your essay. Seconds stretched into minutes as you fruitlessly turned page after worn page, wondering where Cedric was.
Eventually a book thumped on the table beside you.
“Wiggenweld.”
“Bless you.” Cedric laughed affectionately at your joke, setting off a bubbly feeling inside you. There weren’t many people who would laugh at your corniness the way he did - full of fondness and sincerity.
“The Wiggenweld potion. It’s a healing potion that uses boom berry juice! This book has everything you need for your essay, I used it last year.” Cedric’s eyes were bright, pleased he’d found something that could help you. You let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank you so much Ced. Honestly, what would I do without you?”
“Ah, we don’t have to worry about that Sunshine, I’m not going anywhere.” As if to prove his point, he sat on the chair next to you, opening the book to the chapter you needed. 
You spent a while poring over the pages, making bullet points on some scrap parchment that would form the outline of your essay. After finishing your last point, you looked up in triumph to find Cedric staring at you.
“What?” You asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Maybe you still had gravy on your chin? You wiped it again just to be safe. 
Cedric shook his head as if pulling himself out of deep thought. “It’s- it’s nothing.” You eyed him suspiciously, but sensed that he didn’t want to be pushed, so you stayed silent. He cleared his throat. “How’s the essay going?” 
You smiled up at him. “I’ve got the outline thanks to you, now just gotta write it up.” Your smile faltered a bit. “This is always the tricky bit. I never know how to word things.” You stared at the mostly blank parchment, the empty space so daunting, wishing it would fill itself.
“I can help.” He was being so kind to you, but to your confusion you felt conflicted. Cedric noticed the slight narrowing of your eyes, hastily adding, “only if you want me to, of course.”
“I appreciate the help, I just-” You thought about how to phrase your words. If only Cedric could help you with this. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. You do so much for me, but is redoing an essay you did last year really your top choice of pastime for a Friday night?” Cedric blinked, taken aback at your question, as though it had never occurred to him to be doing anything else.
“Well, I… I…” You took his loss for words as an opportunity to continue.
“You have so many friends, you could be with them, and yet you’re in the library with me.” You looked at the books in front of you, comparing them to the music and fire-whisky that you knew Cedric could be enjoying instead. You were holding him back from all of that fun. And yet- you hadn’t asked him to be here. You hadn’t asked him to play exploding snap with you in the common room into the early hours of the morning. You hadn’t asked him to sit with you at mealtimes when he had a whole table of friends to eat with. You hadn’t asked him to lend you his scarf in Hogsmeade when you’d forgotten yours, and then spend the rest of the day with you in the Three Broomsticks. But he chose to do all of those things.
Cedric held your hand in his, sending sparks along your skin. You suppressed a shiver. “Sunshine, this is where I want to be. With you.”
You looked up at him, expecting to see pity, but instead his face reflected the vulnerability on your own.
“With me?” For just a moment, your eyes flicked to his lips, imagining what it would feel like to kiss him. You thought that Cedric wouldn’t notice, but when your eyes met his you knew you were wrong. Cedric noticed. He always noticed. He was attuned to you, to every change in your expression, to every inflection in your voice. He often knew how you were feeling before you did. His attentiveness never ceased to surprise you, to make you feel seen and loved.
His voice was slightly husky as he replied. “With you.” You saw him mirror your actions, glancing at your lips before closing the distance between you, cupping your neck in his hands. You met him halfway, hands on his shoulders, and when his lips pressed against yours, it was better than you’d imagined. It was golden. Fireworks exploded in your stomach, sending a warm feeling to the ends of your fingers and toes. Nothing had ever felt more right. So exciting, and yet so safe. When Cedric finally pulled away, you couldn’t help but admire his tousled hair, the look of wonder in his eyes, the dimples in his cheeks as he beamed at you.
“Sunshine, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Your hands still on his shoulders, you kissed him on the cheek, and he watched you in adoration. He knew then that he would never tire of you. Your smiles were like gifts, and he treasured each one. It was why he called you Sunshine. A smile of yours could brighten up the darkest room, and he always wanted to be around you. Wanted to be the reason you smiled, the reason you were happy.
“Ced, that was...” You trailed off. How could you describe it? There were no words, so instead you kissed his other cheek. He crinkled his nose in reply. “I’d love to say we can make up for lost time but...” Your gaze travelled to your unfinished essay.
“I’ll be having words with Snape.”
End
Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed please like/reblog, it’s what motivates us to write <3 Feel free to check out my other stuff too :3
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adonis-koo · 4 years
Text
tease
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↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.
↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader
↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,  
Word Count: 12k
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Song Mood
Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.
TW: There is a lot of implied dubious sex and implied rape/sexual harassment in this chapter, if any of these are triggers please read with caution 🖤
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You wouldn’t deny, you felt extremely excited while standing in the large room, vanity lights in classic Vegas style were lit up above the long vanity table, the standing hanging rack had all your costumes on it and while your name wasn’t in plaque it was hastily written on a taped up piece of paper. These people actually considered you a soloist….only by definition considering it was your last week...But still, it was exciting!
Taking a seat in the cushioned chair you got to work on your makeup to begin with, it was Vegas, and considering this was a VIP party you figured it would be okay to really go all out cutcrease makeup, sharp wings and eyelashes that could be mistook for fans, the whole nine yards.  You had originally gone to skip a song on your phone, what you hadn’t expected was paragraph long message from the last person on your mind. 
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Seriously? No seriously…? Annoyance twisted and snapped in your veins like a wildfire, as you continuously reread the text, did Seulgi ever truly know you at all? Where was this message when your relationship was toxic with Jungkook? Where was she when Hanjae broke into your apartment? Where was she when you completely ruined your first ever soloist performance? Where was she when you actually needed her? 
You hadn’t even realized your hands were trembling or heard the knock on the door until the familiar voice of Jimin interrupted you, “Y/n! Y/n? Hey, you’re on in ten, why aren’t you dressed?” 
Your gaze snapped from your phone to the blonde before you rubbed your forehead, you didn’t have time for her issues right now, it would just have to wait. Standing up you pressed your lips together before sighing, “Sorry, Seulgi just sent me a paragraph text,” You pulled the oversized shirt over your head as you walked over to the costume rack, you already had your lingerie set underneath but it was always more comfortable to get ready in loose clothing, “Out of the blue! Seriously, what is her problem?” 
You could hear Jimin snort behind you in amusement as you pushed your shorts down, looking over your shoulder with an ungrateful expression to which he straightened up at, “Ah sorry. Honestly? She’s probably just jealous...I mean, think about it, you were chosen to be trained by the most popular stripper in Cherry Bomb when you had no intention of even becoming a stripper at all, you were chosen to become a temporary soloist and now you made it on the list for Seasonella as a soloist and she didn’t even make the cut at all.” 
You stopped dead in your tracks, your fingers still coiled against the black pencil skirt that sat at your hips as you turned to face Jimin, “...She didn’t make the list…?” Yikes... Suddenly her message made a lot more sense...Not so much her message, but the timing of it. You glanced back at the costume rack, suddenly feeling a mix of both pity yet anger, this was your job, not high school cheer tryouts! “I honestly don’t know what to do with her anymore, I mean...Sure I feel bad she didn’t make the list, but is it really that big of a deal?” 
“Not really, but strippers are considerably catty,” Jimin leaned against the back of the couch as he shrugged, “Seulgi honestly fits the filler role perfect. It’s a shame really, she has all the potential to become a soloist.” 
You couldn’t help but tilt your head at his works, pulling the sheer button up top over your head before semi tucking it in, “Well somebody needs to tell her that so she’ll get off my ass. Don’t get me wrong, I understood at first Jimin, I really did,” Your eyes were semi glossed and pleading before you sighed, gritting your teeth, “But now it’s just petty.” 
“Well that’s the thing,” Jimin snorted a laugh as you pulled the brown trench coat over your shoulders, “Don’t you get it Y/n?” You paused at his words, his smile playful as he began laughing, as if he knew a secret you didn’t, “That’s her problem. Seulgi needs to constantly be petted, the only person that’s holding her back from becoming a soloist is herself, if she didn’t need to be groomed and the center of attention constantly, if she’d just shut up and do the work that’s needed without constantly being praised for it. She’d easily make it to the top. But because she can’t, because she’s used to everyone telling her how amazing she is, she’s never going to get there.”
Jimin tucked his tongue into his cheek as he scoffed, “People like that annoy the fuck out of me. That’s what makes you different from her, yeah you were coddled by Jungkook in the beginning, but you never expected that out of him. You never anticipated any of us drowning you in praise and telling you ‘you’d definitely become a soloist;. No, you struggled like most of us did in the beginning, you worked your ass off in the beginning and now it’s paying off. That’s her problem.” 
Your lips parted at his words, rather shocked to see Jimin feel so defensive for you. Pressing your lips together as you fiddled with your jacket, you never realized he felt so strongly about your situation with Seulgi, “...Do you think I’ve changed?” That was the one thing that bothered you, this whole time Seulgi kept proclaiming you had changed, was it really that bad?
“Yeah,” Your gaze snapped to Jimin’s figure as he shrugged, pushing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, presumably what he was wearing for the stage, “But change isn’t always a bad thing Y/n. Don’t let people hold you down just because they want to stay the same.” 
Sighing, you wrapped your arms around yourself as you leaned against the wall, thinking on his words. You supposed, Jimin was right, change wasn’t always a bad thing. And looking back, maybe you had changed? 
But it’s like he said, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, you needed that change to happen. Or else things with Jungkook would have exploded and you could have potentially ruined your relationship with him. Your heart trembled at that idea, the memory of him and you both distant but still fresh. Jungkook was so important to you, you couldn’t lose him, and you changed not for him, but for yourself. So had he. 
“I didn’t take you for a therapist Jimin.” You glanced up as a mutual smile pulled on both your and his lips as you shared a laugh, shaking your head as you stepped into your heels, “Thanks though,” You furrowed your brows before smiling a little, glancing up at him as you nodded, “I...I think I needed to hear that. I should make my way backstage, good luck!” 
Jimin tipped his fedora at you with a wink as he replied, “Too you as well, you’ll need it. Cya Y/n.” 
Keeping his words in mind you gave yourself a mini pep talk as you made your way backstage, it was even more crowded here then at a busy day at work and it was more chaotic than you could have ever imagined. You could do this. Being on stage wasn't what made you nervous anymore. It was getting off stage and finding out just what exactly Seasonella was. 
The stage manager nodded in acknowledgement as you stood off to the side, peering out from behind the stage where your heart did a little leap at the sight of Jungkook. Swallowing the lump in your throat at how good he looked in a three piece suit and his gelled, styled hair. He must have just started his routine, his music was bassy and slow and the floor he stood on wafted with smoke, presumably from dry ice off stage. 
Wrapping your arms around yourself you watched the way he easily swiveled his hips turning away from the audience, popping the jacket off his shoulders, oddly enough despite the large crowd nobody seemed to even be paying attention besides a few whistles here and there. Glancing over his shoulder he offered a sultry smirk, even after all this time he never failed to make your heart race and your face flushed as you dropped your gaze. He wasn’t even looking at you, in fact, he probably didn’t even know you were next in line up. Jungkook’s routine was slow and easy going as he began to shed his clothes, as if he was in no real hurry, soaking up his time on stage. 
He really was a natural.
Just the way his hips would slowly roll before snapping, those large calloused hands slowly running up against his chest to pop the first button of his white button up. You could easily see why Jungkook thrived in this environment, now thinking about it. It was easy because it was only skin deep, Jungkook was comfortable in his body and it showed, being a stripper was hard, but it was only skin deep, you didn’t have to get personal or open up to anyone in this business.
But even with all of that in mind, his eyes, it was always his eyes that showed when he wasn’t feeling his performance, when something was on his mind. Nobody ever seemed to notice it but you. No matter how many smirks and teasing smiles Jungkook flashed it was his eyes that seemed...disinterested? Maybe...maybe even upset?
You didn’t like it, it drove your instincts wild with a need to sit on his lap and grab his face to look at you and ask him what was wrong, but then again, did you really need to? Given what had happened this morning? He was upset when you pushed him away, hell he was upset when he left after his shower. Neither of you had spoken when he left either, he just kept looking at you, longingly, as if hoping maybe you’d speak to him, to give him a chance. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to speak to him, it was just...what was there to even talk about? He wasn’t going to convince you this was okay, because it wasn’t. None of this was okay. You didn’t like being on terms like this with him, but what else was there to discuss? It was what it was, all either of you could do was do your job. 
It wasn’t like you were mad at him, Jungkook was a stripper, but so were you. Yes it was upsetting and it hurt that he’d be sleeping with other people, but so were you...You sighed, massaging the temple of your head as you watched his hand slip down to squeeze the thick imprint that pressed against his slacks. You couldn’t stop the quirk in your lips at the sight, even when he was upset he still managed to sport a boner, of course he could.
It was odd watching him pop the button of his slacks, usually by this point girls were practically screaming, but instead it was quiet besides the song that played as the slacks fell off his thick muscular thighs that flexed. You were semi perplexed at the sight of Versace strapped against his skin rather than his regular Calvin Kleins, you couldn’t help but grind your teeth at the idea of that girl buying them for him. It had to be her. Eva.
Was she out in the crowd somewhere enjoying the show? Or was she intending on making him strip again just for her in private. The idea made you livid and the intense desire to jab her eyes out for even looking at what was yours. It was hard to imagine you were actually blushing and melting into your chair when you first laid eyes on Jungkook’s figure on stage. Now you just felt a vague sense of depression watching him hook his thumbs to the band of his boxers.
Maybe it was a sense of defeat that you felt watching him proudly flaunt his hardened cock on stage. A part of you couldn’t help but snicker though, it was so typical of him. Exibitionism was one of his biggest kinks after all. His song had come to an end, the stage lights dimming as people rushed past you, a robe in hand for Jungkook as he came off stage. 
No words were spoken, your gaze only catching his for a second before you were being ushered on stage. Nodding you hurried out in the blackout. Leaning against the pole you made yourself comfortable, it wasn’t time to think anymore. All you had to do was dance. 
The lights immediately flickered on as the intro of your music started out, the smirk immediately pulling on your lips as you turned your head to face the crowd. Most of the crowd wasn’t even paying attention to you, some people seated others standing and talking to one another. What even was Seasonella for? Just connection building for the wealthy?
Letting your hands drag up your body, you slide down the pole letting your legs open naturally before letting your knees drop to let your hands support you on the ground. Your face pressing against the ground as you let your hand circle around your face. Just who were these nameless faces? Just like Jungkook, you weren’t at your best performance. Not that anyone could tell as you rolled to your back letting your legs raise up and set against the pole before letting one slide down as your hands squeezed up your chest, the smile teasing on your lips as you sent a wink out to the crowd. 
That's when you saw him though, Jungkook fully dressed once more, hair damp from sweat and still adjusting the buttons of his loose black button up, his gaze not on Eva who was excitedly waiting for him, instead he was watching you as he ran a hand through his hair. 
Letting your legs open slightly you sat up with your thighs sandwiched between the pole as you rested your head against it, letting the jacket fall off your shoulders as you sent a flirty gasp at the crowd before letting it drop to the ground. 
Making your way to stand up you swayed your hips as you turned to face the crowd, a smug look twisting on to your features at the sight of Eva obviously not happy at your boyfriend checking you out. Keeping a wide stance you dropped slightly to circle your ribs while letting your hands drag up your thighs, teasingly pulling your skirt up higher. Turning to face the wall you curved your spine to highlight your ass as you teased even more, pulling the skirt up to flash the lingerie you wore before tugging the skirt back down. 
You noticed whatever position Jungkook was in he must have left, or maybe Eva had dragged him away at the short time span your back was facing the audience, regardless they couldn’t have left already, right? Pulling your shirt from it’s tuck in your skirt you pulled it out farther as you sunk back down to a slut drop, they couldn’t have gotten far.
Just as you stood back up, hooking your thumb beneath the fabric of your top, a smirk flashed towards the audience that only a few eyes watched you curiously with, that’s when your eyes tracked that messy head of hair again. Jungkook was sitting down, his arm wrapped around Eva who was more than happily snuggled against him, chatting away with what appeared to be her friends. The other person who had stuck out to you was Diego who sat at their table, his eyes however, unshockingly were roaming your body. 
You decided to pay him no mind as you pulled the shirt over your head, letting your upper body become exposed and the glittery, strappy push up bra become displayed. Maybe you were just imagining it but you could have swore Eva had jumped in Jungkook’s tightening grip. His eyes also on you while occasionally glaring daggers at Diego. God you would kill to be listening to that conversation. 
Letting your hips sway softly you strutted further up stage, your arms over head before they groped their way down your body. Turning to face away from the crowd you looked over your shoulder, a playful smile tugging at your lips as you reached for the clasp of your bra. Unhooking it before letting it drop to the ground leaving your bare back on display. 
Turning to face the audience you let your hips begin to sink once more as you let them sway hiding your breasts teasingly behind your hands that began to massage them. It was weird, being in a reversed role where it was your eyes that met Jungkooks from the stage, rather than the other way around. 
Except rather than squirming in embarrassment Jungkook had zero shame in letting his eyes roam all over your body, his lip catching between his teeth and you were all too familiar with that dark look in his eyes. His chin lifting a little in that standoffish, domineering way it always did when he got turned on. 
You however, weren’t yourself at the moment. Rather shy away from his gaze you welcomed it, letting your lips twitch back into a cocky smirk as your hands traveled down your body, your tits perking a little in arousal as your hands slid down your skirt. You could practically see the way Jungkook was eye fucking you, his hand that about been resting on the table curling into a fist and his expression becoming darker by the moment. 
You hadn’t said anything, hell you hadn’t even done anything, but you could tell he wanted to put you over his lap. And there was nothing he could do about it. Something about being aware of that practically made your confidence shoot through the roof as you sent him a playful wink. Effortlessly pushing down the skirt that complied, hitting the ground to reveal the almost light golden, sequin g string you wore beneath, the sheer gold stockings and garter belt to match on display. You could even hear a few whistles from the audience only making you that much cockier. 
And Jungkook was livid. So livid. Despite sitting far away you could see the way his jaw clenched and his fist uncurled and impatiently tapped against the table, as if itching to get his hands on you. Arousal instantly shot between your legs, his dark, lust filled gaze making your body anxious granted this was the most inconvenient timing ever.
If they saw you wet, then that’s just what was gonna happen, you’d just blame it on Jungkook given he was the reason you were in this state. There was no point in worrying about it now. With that in mind you sunk to the ground, crawling out on your hands and knees, letting your tits bounce a little as you dropped to your forearms. Jungkook leaned back in his seat, the vein on his neck popped and you could even see his chest puffing a little. 
The sight made you want to laugh, and for a split second a genuine smile wiggled it’s way onto your lips, before the seductive one quickly took back over as your thighs slid to the ground. Rolling on to your back your vision of him was upside down but that didn’t deter you from letting your hands drag back up your body, letting them squeeze against your breasts as your thighs rubbed together, warm arousal beginning to make your panties stick your folds as you let your body begin to roll as your hips thrusted upwards. 
Your hands sliding back down your body as you began to tug your panties off, gaze never breaking away from Jungkook’s figure, that looked close to a starved man ready to sit between your thighs at the moment. Your panties were unshockingly wet as you kicked them off. As if you weren’t aroused before you certainly were now, naked on stage for the whole floor to see. But with your eyes locked with Jungkook’s it wasn’t like that, it was just you and him at the moment. No party, no one else, just you and him. 
Pulling yourself to sit up you turned to face the audience once more on your knees, a cocky smile tugging on your lips as you let them slide apart. Your cunt was aching and glistening at being exposed as your hands ran up your body, playing with your hair as you heard another round of whistles.
But this wasn’t about them, this was about Jungkook’s clenched jaw and the way he bounced his knee impatiently, the way his fingers twitched against his glass and his eyes roaming all over your exposed body. You didn’t need to see his lap to know he was hard. Crawling back on your hands and knees one last time you sent a one more wink to the audience before rolling to the side. Sitting upright as you finished your last pose. 
The lights went black as you quickly stood up. Walking off stage as best you could in your heels as you grabbed the robe from one of the stage assistants. Wrapping it around your body you let a giggle escape your lips.
Jungkook was turned on, but so were you. You’ll forever have the look on his face stained in your head, maybe something you both could laugh over later and then bang because it would make him horny. 
Walking back to your dressing room you closed the door. Kicking off your heels as you pulled your hair up into a bun to focus on getting dressed. Sitting down you unclipped your stockings before walking over to your bag. You supposed your black mini dress would do, and maybe you’d wear a pair of your black fishnet stockings to go with it? Biting against your lip you figured that would do it before getting changed. Fixing the deep v neck that plunged, showing off your cleavage before pulling out a black pair of pumps to match. 
You wouldn’t be able to talk to Jungkook...but maybe taking Diego up on his offer meant you could see him more? It was a gamble. Nibbling against your lip you fixed your hair in the mirror, putting your phone in the cup of your bra before adjusting it to not make it look obvious. Would you even want to see him this weekend? 
Regardless Diego Friar might as well have been a pile of money sitting at your doorstep, he would be paying you for your company and you knew he’d pay well. This was why you were doing this after all. This was supposed to justify the means. Somehow. Nodding you stood up before heading out. Soloist’s seemed to do more of the entertaining for the guests than actually dancing, although you couldn’t say it was completely true for you. You still had five more dances to get through tonight but at least you had a good hour break before going on back to back. 
Did they really only keep you here as prostitutes? You couldn’t help but wonder about that question, hardly anyone even watched you show. Pushing the door open to enter into the main room you let your eyes wash over the crowd. Why not just hire prostitutes? 
It was legal here in Nevada, why make the strippers do it under dubious consent? Surely the clients budget wasn’t that tight. You supposed there was no point in making sense of it. While Diego would pay for your company, you wouldn’t lie if you said there weren't any underlying motives here. Diego was the client's son, surely he’d know what was going on...Not that you assumed he’d willingly tell you but...A little investigating wouldn’t hurt, right? 
You knew the only thing you needed to focus on was getting to the end of the weekend, but you couldn’t help but wonder, if something illegal was going on here, shouldn’t somebody stop it? Stopping in front of the table you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you to see Diego standing up, as if waiting confidently, knowing you would come to this table. 
“That was some performance doll.” He sent you a wink, his lips quirked into a smirk confidently, as if you had completely done that just for him. Had Diego not caught on between you and Jungkook? Or was he really that distracted by your body?
You offered a small smile in return as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “I told you I was saving my energy. So I was thinking,” You stretched your sentence as a playful smile tugged on your lips, “About your deal.” 
Diego’s smirk was only reinforced by your words as he confidently strode up to you, “And?” The idea of sleeping with Diego was... less than appealing... but you had a lot of options to weigh here. The first being you were likely to see Jungkook more often, the second being you wouldn’t be passed from creep to creep and the third and last option was the one which wasn’t a good idea. 
You wanted to know why the hell Seasonella existed, what was its purpose, who were these people? Diego was the client's son, if somebody knew the ropes of this party, it was him. 
‘I’ve heard all kinds of rumors about our strippers coming here and not returning to Korea because of being difficult’
That’s the same words Jungkook told you. He wanted you to just go with the flow so nothing happened to you. Going with Diego was both the safest and most dangerous option, depending on how you played your cards. But you were willing to make a deal with the devil to find out, “I’ll agree to it, with some ground rules,” 
Diego chuckled, shifting his weight from one foot to another, running a hand through his hair as he nodded, though it almost seemed vaguely patronizing, “Alright doll, that’s fair enough, what are these rules?”
“Condoms on at all times,” You immediately listed off, attempting to not wrinkle your nose at the idea of feeling him..raw...inside you...it made your stomach churn unpleasantly, “I’m not looking to get knocked up,” You offered a humored smile despite it feeling mildly forced, “And I want my mornings to myself,” You added, remembering Jungkook’s words, him telling you to ask for the mornings so you could at least be together then, “Two rules, and I’m all yours.”
You knew Jungkook wanted nothing more than to make sure you were safe. But you needed answers, you needed to know why this was happening. And furthermore, what part of this was illegal, if any at all. 
Diego gave you a smile, his arm immediately wrapping around you as he replied, “Your rules are gold baby. You won’t be disappointed. C’mon, let's get you a drink and sit down.” It felt weird being held by somebody else while sipping on your classic margarita, taking a seat down at the table where Jungkook’s eyes glared at the arm wrapped around your shoulder like it pissed him off. It probably did. You could only hope Jungkook didn’t get the wrong idea about this, you weren’t doing this to spite him. 
You did it for multiple reasons, none which even involved him...Well, none that involved him in a bad way. But to see Jungkook so...docile in a situation like this? In a situation  “This is Y/n, the lovely doll I’ve been talking about.” Diego introduced you to his friends, mutual friends of Eva as well you assumed. It was coincidental that you and Jungkook just so happened to be sitting on the inside of the table next to one another, a respectful distance between you both given you both were supposed to be closer to each sibling. 
“It’s so nice to meet you!” You gave a bright smile at the man- Lorenzo who was an italian with a strong accent and didn’t seem incredibly familiar with Koren, but enough that you could hold a steady conversation, he also seemed to be a considerably close friend of Diego’s compared to all of the others, “I hope you’ve been enjoying the show up on stage.” 
What you hadn’t expected was a large, wrathful hand to harshly clamp your inner thigh making you nearly choke on your drink, callous fingers digging into your soft skin while roughly massaging closer to your core. 
Your eyes sent sharp daggers to Jungkook’s figure, who was innocently on his side of the table, his free arm wrapped around Eva while conversing with her and one of her friends, acting as if he totally wasn’t groping you. This was not the time or place to be doing this! 
“Ah yes, you put on quite the show.” You gave a forced smile at Lorenzo as you tried to wiggle your leg from Jungkook's grasp, it was useless though as he squeezed harder, his nails pleasantly digging into your skin as if in warning to stop. 
It wasn’t even fair, Jungkook was speaking to Eva and her friends in english which you could only pick bits and pieces of conversation out of while he could hear everything you said. You tried your best, you really did. But Jungkook’s long thick fingers were making it difficult to focus, never quite making it to where you had hoped it would, but just enough to keep you on edge. 
Was this some possessive display or reminder to you? You wished you could just ask Jungkook what his problem was. Maybe he was mad you weren’t wearing your collar, but could he really expect you too when...You couldn’t help but shudder. This was going to be a long night. 
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The night dragged on and admittedly, you couldn’t help but tense at all the pleasantries, you honestly assumed Diego would jump you the moment he got his hands on you but then again, he was from a prestigious family, clearly. 
You sighed as you glanced at yourself in the mirror, rubbing the towel over the back of your neck that had broken out in a sweat, you were used to dancing on stage but something about being here had made you nervous. You weren’t sure what it was but the whole vibe of this place put you on edge. Shaking your head you pulled the skirt up to your waist before finishing putting on the rest of your clothes. 
Dread filled your stomach but you couldn’t help it, anytime you weren’t dancing you were with Diego, you assumed the moment he got you alone he’d jump you but he had behaved well...But now your night of stripping was over, your body was tired and so were you but...Well you had a feeling the night had only just begun in other ways. 
Jungkook had disappeared a while ago with Eva and her friends, he had finished earlier in the night then you but given he was more social it wasn’t a surprise he had stayed to converse with her and her friends. Or maybe it was Eva who wanted to stay longer?
You couldn’t help but feel a simmering anger boil inside you at the idea of someone controlling and dictating the man you loved. You forcibly calmed yourself as you pushed your hair off your shoulder. This wasn’t the time to brood of this, it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. Could you even be mad at Jungkook? No, not when you were with Diego. 
Something about the situation made you grit your teeth as you pushed the door to your dressing room open. Why were you so powerless in a situation like this? You had never seen Jungkook let himself be powerless either. 
Pausing you glanced at the ground as people rushed past you, the night on stage still very much alive and even busier than you had ever seen before. If Jungkook was too scared to speak up or if he was worried for you, then you’d do it for him. You nodded affirming to yourself.
Whatever the Friar’s were up too....You weren’t just going to sit still and watch your friends get bullied by them. The idea made your lips twitch and your fist coil in anger, why the fuck was nobody saying anything to them!? 
Closing your eyes briefly you let your shoulders relax as you began to walk. It’s okay, they have all been there to help you on your feet. Now you’d stand beside them and defend them just as they have you. You didn’t know who these people were but you were going to find out. 
Walking out of the back and into the large lounge your eyes scoped Diego who seemed to be talking to two other men...He hadn’t introduced you so they must have been work related contacts. 
Walking over you gave a bright smile as Diego’s eyes landed on you, pausing conversation with the two men as he waved you over, “Finished up doll?” You nodded, feigning innocence to the two men’s stares that leered on you as Diego squeezed your chin, “Good. Tell you what baby, how about you head up to my room? I’ll catch up with you soon, I just have some business to take care of.” 
You felt an odd shiver down your spine at his words. Business? At three in the morning? You still gave a smile as you nodded, “Of course! I’ll see you soon then.” You winked as you took the passcard from his hand, a charming expression on your face as you nodded to the two men before turning around. 
You didn’t like this one bit. You glanced around in hopes of finding a familiar face but everyone seemed foreign to your eyes. Sighing, you shook your head a little, glancing down at the passcard to Diego’s room, number listed on it as you headed for the elevator.
Staying still you intended to enter the elevator only for your eyes to widen at the heated sight as the doors slid open, the familiar head of hair sucking harshly on skin as the woman moaned, Seokjin suddenly straightened up at the sight of you as he coughed harshly. 
The girl jumped before turning around as she gave a sheepish smile before glancing up at him with pink cheeks, “Thanks for seeing me down, i’ll see you later.” She winked as she stepped out of the elevator just as you stepped in. 
It was quiet for a moment as you and Seokjin awkwardly stood there, “I uh-”
“It’s cool.” You immediately cut him off as you both glanced at each other, unable to keep the awkward tense though as you both let out a small laugh, “She seemed happy.” 
“I’d hope so,” Seokjin scoffed, not going into detail but you could tell they obviously had just finished sleeping together, if Seokjin’s sweat drenched and messy hair was anything to go by, his eyes glancing up at the number that ticked up in the elevator, “I’m assuming you’re headed for Diego’s?” 
You gave a small nod before sighing, “Yeah...he had ‘business’ to take care of so he’s meeting me later…” You parted your lips for a moment before closing them once more, glancing up at Seokjin’s figure before asking, “...Seokjin…” Gaining his attention he glanced down at you as he raised his brows a little, “What’s going on here?” 
You watched his shoulders tense a little as he pressed his lips together, glancing away from you before letting his gaze flicker across the elevator as if searching for something, “...Sometimes...it’s better to be ignorant Y/n,” You frowned at his cryptic words, Seokjin’s gaze on you was like a heavy weight, as if they were drilling through your soul as he continued, “Don’t look for something you’ll regret finding out. I saw Jungkook earlier.” Your frown deepened at his abrupt change of topic. 
What was it that they knew that you didn’t? All you had heard were rumors thus far. It was obvious Seokjin and the others knew something was going on, so why weren’t they doing anything about it? Was it really easier to just turn a blind eye to whatever was happening? 
Deciding to drop the subject you held in a sigh as you glanced up at the numbers sliding above the door, “Yeah…?” You kept your tone neutral, not wanting to say you didn’t want to hear it, but on the other hand you were a little curious. 
“Yeah,” Seokjin clacked his tongue before snorting, “He didn’t look happy. Just kept staring at you on stage like a little puppy before Eva dragged him away.” You didn’t reply to his words for a moment. Were you surprised? No. Did it warm your heart?...Maybe a little...But still, you needed to play your cards carefully. The last thing you needed was Eva catching wind of your relation to Jungkook outside of being his trainee. 
“Well he’s just going to have to deal with it.” You replied, not intending to come off as cold as you did making Seokjin turn to face you, his brows raised in somewhat surprise making you sighed as your expression softened a little, “What can I do about it Seokjin? What’s the point in talking about it? It just…” You inhaled sharply before letting it out, “It’s already upsetting, why even talk about it?” 
You hadn’t even meant to project onto him, but you couldn’t help it, the early morning of what had happened with Jungkook was still fresh in your mind, what did he want from you? To say it was okay? That it would all be okay? It wasn’t okay! None of this was okay!
Seokjin frowned a little, his own expression softening a little as he nodded solemnly, “I can understand to a degree. But you can’t ignore him forever. What are you gonna do when all of this is over? Pretend like it never happened?” 
Glaring down at the floor you didn’t reply for a moment before answering, “I don’t know. And I’m not gonna think about it right now. I have a lot more on my plate to focus on.” The doors slid open with a ding as you glanced ahead. Seokjin frowned at your words, wanting to respond but not having the time as you turned to give him a small smile, “Good luck Seokjin, I’ll see you later.” 
Walking out of the elevator you kept a clear head as you walked down the eerily silent hallway, the elevator closed behind you leaving you all by yourself, the corridor was long and if you had gotten too close to a door you could hear soft moans from inside. 
Stepping back to keep in center only to jolt at the sound of a loud crash and a muffled scream, “Be quiet you bitch!” Adrenaline shot through your veins at the muffled snarl of a man at the you were about to pass, “I’ll be back soon and you better be fucking prepared to perform again.” 
You scrambled away from the door, heart pounding in your chest as the door ripped open, the sounds of sobs inside before the door slammed shut. 
Footsteps stomped down the hallway until they could no longer be heard, when you heard the distinct sound of the elevator you timidly turned around...Should you…? Of course you should! Whatever had happened, it didn’t sound good. Nodding to yourself you swallowed thickly as you  walked back to the door as you frowned. The sobbing was still muffled but could be heard inside and it was enough to break your heart...It wasn’t your business but…
You gently knocked on the door, no response sounding, just tears. Gently you opened the door, timidly gazing inside only to feel your heart crumble at the familiar sight. 
Chan Hee. 
Naked yet curled up, not on the bed, but on the ground against it with her knees curled to her chest and tears streaming down her face, an ugly welt on her cheek as her body trembled. Fumbling you closed the door behind you as you rushed up to her figure that seemed so small in comparison to any other time you’ve seen her.
Chan Hee, was the image of confidence, of not caring whether people saw her as bitchy or conceited. To see her so weak, so vulnerable, it crushed you more than you ever thought it would, “Chan Hee?” You weakly called out as you kneeled down, grabbing the throw blanket off the bed as she whimpered, her arms squeezing tightly around her knees, “Y-you should go.” She stammered, tears streaking down her cheeks as you wrapped the blanket around her body, “H-he’ll b-be back soon…” 
“I’m not leaving you here by yourself.” You gritted your teeth, brows pinching together in anger as she sniffled, yes you may not have been on the best terms with her but you’d never turn your back to someone in need  and right now she needed someone, “For all the differences we might have I would never leave you or anyone else here.”
Her fists coiled around the blanket as she lowered her gaze, trembling as tears dripped down her cheeks, standing up you gathered her clothes that were scattered across the floor before sitting down next to her, “Nobody fucking told me it would be a whore house here.” She sniffed as she gritted her teeth, wiping her eyes once more with trembling hands. 
“I was told…” You murmured as you glanced at the floor, Chan Hee glancing at you as she rubbed her eyes, “But I just didn’t listen, didn’t even think about it.” You gave a hurmorless smile at the floor before it dropped, silently berating yourself on how ignorant you chose to be despite the many times Jungkook warned you, “I was so naive and dumb, it didn’t even register in my brain until this morning.
It was quiet for a moment as you both sat in silence before you shuffled, “C’mon, let’s get you dressed. I’d rather not be here when he comes back.” Chan Hee shakily sat herself on the bed, surprisingly letting you help her get dressed.
Her legs were particularly twitchy, her eyes seemed glassy still and her gaze distant, “...I didn’t care at first,” She whispered under her breath, not looking at you as you pulled the top over her head, “...Sex is sex, it was just another tip under my belt...But after the first round...it was just too much,” Her eyes were beginning to water again as she scoffed despite her lips quivering, “...And even when I told him to stop he-” She inhaled, choking back a sob that made your own eyes water. 
Kneeling down in front of her you gently grabbed her hands, her gaze was down in her lap as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks, it was odd seeing Chan Hee seem so...ashamed, broken even, “Chan Hee, I know apologizing isn’t going to fix what happened, but I am sorry. It shouldn’t be like this, everything in Seasonella... Come on, where’s your room at? You shouldn’t be subjected to this anymore.” 
Chan Hee didn’t reject your movement as you helped her up, your pulse speeding up as you opened the door, timidly glancing around before walking up ahead to the other elevator, only praying you wouldn’t run into the man that did this, “Fifth floor, 32.” She murmured, her body trembling a little as you both got into the elevator. 
The strippers floor was quiet, almost all rooms vacant as everyone was out filling client rooms or dancing, you helped Chan Hee into her room as you set her on her bed, feeling a little lost until she weakly laid down, “I’ll be okay,” She murmured, curling up against her covers as she hugged her pillow, “...thank you.” Two words and yet they felt so hopeless and sad, you mustered a small smile as you nodded before reluctantly turning around. 
Your thoughts lingered on Chan Hee before flittering to Seokjin’s words, and then briefly they stayed on Jungkook. Sighing you pinched the bridge of your nose as you shook your head, pushing the cardkey into the slot before walking into the large room. 
What you didn’t expect was the room to be vacant. You had been gone at least twenty minutes and Diego still wasn’t here? You frowned as you warily stepped into the room, it at first appeared like a lodge of some sort, couches facing each other with a small kitchen at the back wall, up the two steps however was the large king size bed and a desk with a dresser nearby. Despite the room's large size, his main bedroom seemed almost small. 
Your eyes honed in on the messy desk, Seokjin’s words replaying in your mind before Chan Hee’s figure reminded you why you were here. Maybe they would pretend like everything was okay and bare it, but you weren’t. Not when stuff like this was happening. Carefully you glanced around the room before looking over your shoulder at the door as you walked up to the desk. 
Pushing through some of the paper you frowned as you picked up a document of sorts. 
Warehouse 15: Currently full 
Shipments will need to be made by the 22nd and deadlines for payments will be cut off by the 25th when the cargo has arrived, we’ll need to gain the last set of the cargo during the weekend of the 18th-
You jumped at the sound of the door closing, hurriedly dropping the document as you swiftly turned around. Diego’s figure was skewered by the corner of the wall, “You’re here.” You welcomed as you painted a smile on your face despite the back of your mind rampantly running at whatever you just read, warehouse 15? What was held in it that was full? And clients? Was this what Seasonella was about? Today was the 18th, the start of the weekend…
“Seems someone is eager to see me.” Diego sent you a wink as he pulled the jacket off as you felt your smile tense a little, he seemed tired as he loosened his tie. 
You slowly made your way down the two steps into the main lodge as you sat down on the couch, “Well it was getting a little lonely here...Did you take care of your business?” You asked carefully, keeping your eyes wide and doe like to appear innocent as you folded your hands into your lap. 
Diego chuckled a little, unbuttoning his waist coat as he sat down a little closer to you then you would’ve liked but you didn’t move away, “Yes, it’s all finished now. No need to worry about that doll, c’mere.” You squeaked a little at the way his hands grabbed onto your waist, pulling you to straddle his lap. 
It felt foreign as you had never slept with a client before and the only man you had slept with in months was...Jungkook...you felt somewhat nauseous thinking about him, thinking about what you were about to do, “You’ve got all my attention now,” Diego licked his lips as he pushed the hair from your face, your body tense as you resisted to pull away from his touch like you wanted. 
It wasn’t warm and tender like Jungkook’s, one that made you want to bury further into him. No, this felt somewhat condescending in a way, as if your hand was being twisted behind your back and his grip was lifeless of any sort of care or love, “Relax baby, you seem so tense.” Diego purred as his hands slid to your waist. 
You let the smile turn more charismatic as you giggled a little, shrugging as you forced your thoughts into the back of your head, “It’s just been a...long day...but incredible I mean…” You let your smile turn more coy, girlish as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m in Las Vegas, it’s a little overwhelming...I just can’t help but wonder, how did Seasonella begin Diego?” You tilted your head innocently as you let your hands press gently against his chest.
 “Curious are we?” He chuckled a little, a smirk coiling on his lips as you rolled your hips a little enticingly, the more you gave the more willing he’d be to speak on this, or so you hoped, “Seasonella was originally just an annual meeting held between my fathers men yearly,” His hands rested on your hips as you swayed them against his, letting them roll along the hardening bulge of his cock,, “It slowly began to grow into his men bringing other references, and those references bring theirs until it grew even more, eventually it became more like an open party to the right people to come and do business with us. It’s what made our wealth skyrocket.” 
You were having a difficult time relaxing as he leaned in against your neck, lips trailing along your neck as your breath catched a little as you focused everything onto his words. You’d need more than that to go on. You wiggled your hips a little more as you pulled away, letting your lips tug into a cute pout before letting them twist into a playful smile, “And that’s it? That’s how you started taking strippers from across the globe to attend?” 
Diego placed his hands on your hips as you gave them a little sway, pretending as if you totally hadn’t felt his obviously lacking hard on, “When the meeting starting becoming bigger and more akin to a party we started hiring on entertainment,” You could see the way Diego was becoming more pliable, more willing to spill whatever you wanted so you could hurry up, “Of course it ended up benefiting us in the end, we invest they give us girls. It works out.” 
What…? 
Diego, perhaps realizing how his words sounded didn’t give you a chance to question him further, you squeaked as he pushed you down onto the couch, climbing on top of you as you swallowed thickly, “But enough of that doll. I’m more interested in how tight that little cunt is.”  You jumped a little at his lips attaching to your neck, the sharp moan leaving you before you could stop it. 
Diego’s hands dragged their way down your waist as you squirmed beneath him, controlling your breaths as adrenaline shot through your veins. Just today  and tomorrow, that’s all you needed to get through. 
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“Kookie, why have you been so quiet?” Eva turned to face him with a pouty frown, shifting the blanket to cover her plump perky breasts as she laid her head against her arms, observing the way Jungkook laid on his back, his expression dimmed and the frown harshly twisted on his lips. 
The door had just closed and her friend who had joined them in such an incredible night in bed had taken her leave. Jungkook didn’t reply for a moment, unsure of how to before he finally shrugged, sitting up as the blanket fell off his chest revealing the broad chiseled sight that was making her rub her thighs together all over again, “Eva can I be honest with you?”
It was a dumb question, because while he was sure she was going to say yes despite the likelihood that she’d accept his words was….rather slim.
Eva gave him a wide, excited smile, as if she thought for sure he was slowly beginning to open up to her. Sitting up eagerly, she clutched the sheets against her chest as she gave him a timid smile, “Of course you can Jungkook, I’ll never judge you.” Rather than make him smile though Jungkook’s brows only furthered as he sighed, running a hand through his damp hair, “What do you think we are, relationally speaking?” He wanted to cringe at the question, but it was something he had been thinking about. Eva had continuously gloated to her friends about her ‘boyfriend when Jungkook had made himself clear several times before that he was not her boyfriend.. 
Eva’s cheeks dusted a light pink as she glanced coyly at the blankets, “Well...I thought I made my point Kook. If it weren’t for my studies I’d be in Korea...with you...I like you....a lot...I have since we met last year.” 
Jungkook didn’t mean to let the groan escape him but it was too late, Eva had stiffened somewhat as she glanced at him carefully awaiting his response, “Eva….” His words didn’t sound promising he knew it, but Jungkook wanted to make himself very clear, “You do understand that I’m only here because I have to be here? Right? You’re a nice girl but…” Should he bring you into this conversation? No...he’ll need to make it discreet, “I’ve met someone...Someone I really love...” 
Jungkook felt somewhat timid meeting her gaze, it was worse than he had hoped for truthfully. Eva was as stiff as a board and her gaze was darkening by the second before she gave a loud scoff that came out as if she was trying to force it into a laugh, her smile sharper than usual as she replied, “Love…? Maybe it’s just me but if you really loved someone, you wouldn’t be working as a stripper and sleeping with people behind her back.”
Jungkook had parted his lips to object but quickly snapped them shut, remembering he had told himself he was leaving you out of this. He couldn’t help but feel guilty though, did he really love you if he was doing this? He could feel it eating him alive inside as she gave him a snide smile, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I get it Jungkook I do, we’ve been apart a year, but just give it a shot!” 
Eva ignored the way his body tensed as she climbed into his lap, cupping his face as her smile softened a little, “I think we could really work Jungkook...besides...you know I can offer you anything she could and even more,” Jungkook’s jaw clenched against her grip and he refused to meet her eyes, “And you know it, I’ll take care of you, provide for you, my family will keep you safe from KOI and I know how much of a strangle hold they’ve had on you before.” 
Letting her forehead rest against his she leaned in, his lips were so soft and addictive. Eva only felt them for a few seconds before she was pushed away, her lips even parted in somewhat offense at the aggressive and cold glare he gave her, “I’ll sleep with you all you want, I’ll play boyfriend while I’m here, I’ll let you have your fun with your friends,” She whined a little as he shoved her against the bed climbing on top of her, “But don’t you ever fucking kiss me like you’re actually apart of my life. You know nothing about me or who I am and it’s going to be kept this way.”
Jungkook roughly rolled her onto her stomach as he growled, “Now I’m gonna spank this ass until it’s bruised and you’re gonna count you disobedient bitch.” He didn’t even wait for her to speak, she was already moaning and whining as his hand slammed against the delicate pale skin of her ass. Jungkook didn’t care how much she knew about him or how much she could dangle his past over his head, there would always be few things off limits and this was one of them. 
It was morning, you knew it was. Light streamed through the windows and it looked like a beautiful day outside, blue sky with billowing white clouds. If you were back home in Korea you would’ve begged Jungkook to take you to the market where you’d go to look for plants and succulents to add to your collection. 
But you weren’t home. No. You were in Diego Friar’s bed with thighs that ached and like they were on fire with your stomach churning for the past thirty minutes. He had left a while ago saying he had work to take care of and that he’d meet you in the cafe for breakfast. That was okay, you didn’t want him to stay anyways. You felt gross, every inch of your body felt disgusting and you knew a shower wouldn’t be enough to make you feel better. 
Trying to ignore the dull throb of your stomach you sat up feeling somewhat numb as you carefully dressed yourself. Glancing at Diego’s desk you deflated even more, all the paper that had been thrown across was gathered and most likely taken by him this morning. Standing up you winced as you forced yourself to walk. You weren’t going to break down...you weren’t going to break down crying…
No matter how much you repeated it in your head you still felt tears glossing in your eyes as you punched the bottom floor button, the elevator was making your stomach feel even worse as you groaned silently, the elevator was too small and there were too many people here. 
As soon as the doors slid open you pushed your way out, the churn of your stomach becoming too much and you needed to find a bathroom, fast, “Oh hey Y/n-” Jimin’s eyes widened a little as you shoved past him and into the bathroom. 
Unable to even lock the stall door as you lurched down onto your knees, the sour taste of alcohol and last night's meal coming up as you coughed rancidly, spitting out bile as tears trickled down your cheeks from the force of your cough as you began to dry heave up any last bits. 
Sitting down against the toilet you couldn’t help but let the tears trickle down your face as you let out a sob. God you felt disgusting, would Jungkook even want to be with you today after knowing...After seeing? Your hands trembled as you sobbed into them. Sniffling harshly as you forced yourself up to stand, flushing away the reminder of what had happened before wobbling out to the sink to fix yourself up. 
Your eyes still looked bloodshot but it wasn’t notable as long as someone didn’t stare for long, you rinsed your mouth out with the sink water, gurgling a few times as you gagged while spitting it out, the raw burn of your throat a reminder of what had just happened. 
Opening the door you jumped a little to see the sight of Jimin leaning against the wall with one foot, arms crossed as his eyes landed on you, a frown quirking onto his lips as he sighed, “...You...look like you’ve seen better days.” He picked his words carefully, “You good?” 
You closed your eyes briefly, trying to ignore the churn of your stomach already despite having just thrown up, “As well as I can be, I just...Sorry I didn’t mean to push you, I just uh...threw up.” You gave a weak smile as Jimin examined your figure, “Sorry. It’s just been a long night.” 
He nodded understandingly, “Well I’m sure your body is already going through a lot as it is, you should really lay down and rest.” You sighed at his words, glancing away from him as you rubbed your forehead. 
“I told Diego i’d be at breakfast in the cafe....What are you doing here?” You pressed your brows together as you tilted your head, why was Jimin here anyways? You had been in too much of a rush to think much of it before.
Jimin snorted, “I was going to breakfast but after you rushed past me I figured I’d stay behind to check on you. Like I said, you look like you’ve seen better days. Who cares about Diego? I’m sure he won’t be hurt if you skip.” 
“...Well yeah but…” You trailed off with a frown causing Jimin to peer at you somewhat confused as you sighed, stepping closer to him as you lowered your voice, “...You’re the only one I’m going to tell but...Something is going on here Jimin,” You glanced up at him, your gaze serious and even boarding harsh as you continued, “And I’m going to find out what it is and stop it.” 
Jimin’s gaze hardened a little as he frowned, “Y/n…” He shook his head a little in disdain as you scoffed while stepping away from him. Why was it everyone was so fucking scared? This wasn’t right! Whatever it was! “These people are dangerous...Be careful. I need to go get breakfast for myself and Rosé but...just be careful okay? There’s a reason a lot of us just leave it alone.” His gaze was a silent warning as you nodded reservedly before you let Jimin walk past you. 
Sighing you pinched the bridge of your nose. Why must everything be so secretive?
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Breakfast hour was always Jungkook’s favorite part of Seasonella, free food and he could officially go and sleep off the ache of his body for the rest of the day before rinse repeat in this scenario. It was normal to eat with said client and no matter how annoying it was Jungkook would tolerate it when you were just in eyesight. 
No matter how much it pissed him off. You wouldn’t meet his gaze and he knew exactly why, your neck was shamelessly covered in hickies and there was a slight limp in your walk when you showed up, oddly by yourself and it for a moment made every sense in his body tell him to go sit with you and coddle you.
 It was like his conversation with Eva the night before hadn’t even existed, either she was truly dense or she was cooking something up. 
Jungkook didn’t like the way she smiled and laughed with all of her friends, some passing jokes to each other in hopes of maybe buttering him up about how good he was in bed to get one more round in before he’d call it quits. But no amount of jokes or compliments were getting him to budge. He had managed a few smiles and jokes as well but nothing more than playful banter. 
He kept his gaze towards you minimally, but he felt somewhat useless when his gaze met yours, had you been looking at him too? 
Jungkook could feel his outer charming mask begin to crumble at the way your lips quivered and your eyes shooting back down to your untouched food. The sudden need to touch you, to hold you filling his veins. His fingers began to thrum against the table in impatience before he checked his phone, he couldn’t wait, it was nearly killing him.
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Jungkook swallowed thickly at how sharp and dry your words over text were, were you actually okay. You hadn’t looked at him once when you got up from the table, your food untouched as you left. He could only sigh and endure the rest of breakfast until he was finally free of Eva’s claws the rest of the day. 
Jungkook’s body was objecting to every sluggish step he took back to his room, it had been awhile since he actually pulled an all nighter, well into the morning hours without any sleep whatsoever. Rubbing his eyes he yawned as he opened the door, quietly closing it as he felt his once tense muscles relaxed at the familiar sight. 
You were curled up against the bed, the large hoody- his as a matter of fact, drowning your body and the hood pulled over your head while you buried in the large pillows. Jungkook felt his lips curve a little into a soft smile as he changed out of his sticky previously sweat stained clothes, feeling relieved to just be comfortable once more as he drew the large thick currents over the window to darken the room before he sat down on the bed. His hand gently stroking your waist. 
What he hadn’t expected was the violent jolt from you before jerking away making him frown. Jungkook had anticipated you wanting his touch after such an...intense night but, maybe he was wrong... His jaw clenched slightly at the way your body tensed and didn’t seem to relax at the realization he was in bed with you. He didn’t even want to think about what you went through last night. 
Not wanting to push your comfort zone Jungkook sighed as he laid down on his side of the bed, your back was turned to him and you hadn’t even greeted him yet. Oh well, words didn’t need to be spoken. Jungkook could only let his gaze longingly stare against your figure that was curled away from him. God he just wanted to hold you, now he couldn’t even do that. 
....
Your mind felt fuzzy, that kind of drowsiness you wake up with when you decide to take a nap at an odd hour and when you wake up you don’t know what time it is and if it’s day or night. You groaned as you rolled over, your muscles gripping at the sight of an empty bed. Where did Jungkook go? 
You were aware you hadn’t been...the kindest...but maybe you were just still reeling from last night. That didn’t mean you didn’t want to see him though...You felt yourself relax at the sight of Jungkook appearing from the bathroom, his lips quirking up a little at the sight of your half awake figure. 
“I have a bath running, we need to get you cleaned up.” Jungkook sat down on the side of the bed as he let his hand stroke through your hair, your body flinched a little at the contact, your poor scalp was still sore from how much Diego had pulled on your hair. Jungkook frowned before tenderly letting his fingers run along your scalp. 
“Thanks.” You replied dryly, a tiny bit of humor detected in your tone while letting your lips tug into a tiny smile, it was hard to keep a straight face when you were around Jungkook, even like this. It was something Jungkook seemed to return so easily, his fingers sliding down to your cheek to gently stroke along it. 
“That’s not what I meant,” He clacked his tongue, trying to give you a scolding look but failing as his lips twisted into a smile, “C’mere,” Jungkook internally sighed, his heart broke for you, he could see how much you were struggling to not instinctively push him away as your body tensed and flinched as he picked you up. You really were trying your best to relax in his grip as he carried you to the bathroom, “It’s not about you being dirty, it’s about me not wanting you to get an infection.” 
Jungkook already had a fresh set of clothes folded neatly on the closed toilet seat as he set you on the counter, tugging off the sweatshirt that covered your body as he sighed. His lips unable to stay smiling as they twisted into a sad frown at the hickies your body sported and bruises on your hips in the shape of fingers.
 “I get it. It was a lot,” He mumbled as he pulled out a hairbrush from his bag that laid on the ground, gently untangling your hair as he refused to meet your gaze, “But I’d never hurt you baby. You know that right? I don’t want you to ever think I’d make you do something you don’t want too. I don’t want to know what happened last night, but I’ll never treat you the way he did.” 
Your shoulders kept tensing and relaxing over and over again as Jungkook finished brushing your hair, finally glancing down at you as he sighed, tears were beginning to streak down your face as you closed your eyes, “I feel so fucking gross.” You finally relented, your hands shaking as you pressed them into your eyes, “I...I...Jungkook...I feel so disgusting.” 
And you did, you felt ruined. Like you didn’t deserve to even be in the same room as Jungkook at the moment. Why would he even want you now? After...after last night...Jungkook hushed you gently as he wrapped his arms around you tenderly pressing a kiss against your head, his heart lurching and it hurt with every beat at the tears you cried, “Shhh, it’ll be okay baby. Just tonight and we’re done. Shhh, don’t cry baby.” 
For the first time you had craved his warmth all over again, letting his arms tighten around you as he cradled you close, peppering kisses against your hair before eventually coaxing you into the nice warm tub. 
It felt normal, as if you weren’t at Seasonella or like Diego and Eva never happened. It was just you and Jungkook, his arms still loosely wrapped around you, his fingers dancing along your skin beneath the water soothingly and his lips occasionally pecking softly against the hickies. As if to make them feel better, as if to make them his even if they weren’t. 
After a hefty amount of coaxing Jungkook had finally gotten you to give in, your fists clenched as you sucked in a sharp breath, “What happens in this bathtub, stays in this bathtub by the way.” You heard him chuckle as you whined, pressing your forehead against the cold tile of the wall, “Do I need stitches? It feels like I do.”
Jungkook sighed as if him staring at your asshole with cheeks spread open was something he did everyday, “No you don’t need stitches. There’s some blood, yeah but that’s just because he didn’t properly prep you. Poor baby.” He let go of your cheeks before letting his hand gently rub against the bruised surface, “I’ll clean it up, outside of it hurting there’s nothing actually wrong. Luckily we can get you some medicine for that.” 
You winced as he spread them back open. You never in your life, thought you’d be in a bathtub with your asscheeks spread just so Jungkook could clean you up. You thought you had gotten past any sort of embarrassment you’d ever feel around Jungkook yet it seemed like he lived to prove you wrong. You sucked in another breath as you felt the soft warm bath cloth rub against the aching puckered ring. 
“There, all better.” Jungkook set the bathcloth down before tenderly grabbing your waist, guiding you to sit back down in the nice soothingly hot water as he pressed another kiss against your neck, “Can’t believe he’d actually do that to you.” He gritted his teeth as he muttered under his breath.
You shifted a little, nibbling against your lip, you knew that wasn’t his invitation to getting you to talk about it but… “It was dark….I doubt he realized it was blood…” You mumbled, you could feel his skin tense beneath you as he huffed. 
“If there was blood involved you can’t tell me you weren’t crying.” Jungkook tried to keep his voice a steady note but he could feel his anger beginning to rise, just the idea made him sick to his stomach. 
You didn’t have the heart to mention he was right, you had cried while mumbling your safeword a fair amount of times when anal got involved, maybe if you had just said something he’d....But did you even want his comfort though? No, you gritted your teeth and dealt with it because you wanted that disgusting human being away from you as soon as he blew his load. 
Jungkook pulled you out of the water, wrapping a warm fluffy towel around you as he carefully dried you off, saying no more on the subject as it was clear neither of you really wanted to talk about it. No, you just wanted to enjoy what time you could with him.
Pulling on the fresh pair of panties and Jungkook helped you tug on the comfy gym shorts before pulling the nice warm sweatshirt over your head, it smelt like him, your favorite smell. 
Sitting down in bed you patiently waited for Jungkook as he typed in the password on your laptop, intending to put something on for you both to watch as he set in on the bed, a knock on the door making you both alert.
You glanced at Jungkook in confusion as he gave you a weak smile, “I know you said you weren’t hungry but baby...you need to eat something.” You frowned a little as you tugged on a strand of hair. Opening the door he pulled out his wallet, paying for the food before closing the door behind him. Taking a seat on the bed as he opened up the takeout boxes, you wouldn’t deny the glee that entered your body at the sight of Chow Mein and Shrimp. 
One bite into your food though immediately made your stomach lurch, your hand squeezing against the wooden chopsticks as you forced yourself to swallow. Jungkook was right, you needed to eat something. It didn’t matter how tasty it was though, it made you sick to your stomach the more you ate. 
One more bite and you had to put down your chopsticks, Jungkook frowned as he noticed your hand covering your mouth, “Hey, you okay baby?” He couldn’t even finish his words before you were already scrambling off the bed at your stomach lurching and your throat constricting. You barely made it to the toilet before you were already throwing up what little you had eaten, dry heaving despite nothing coming up.
You couldn’t stand when people tried to comfort you when you were throwing up and Jungkook got a good taste of that when he attempted the first time he witnessed you hungover. Your vision was blurred with tears as you spat up the vile taste that lingered in your mouth, after a few moments Jungkook entered the bathroom as you wiped your mouth with toilet paper, tossing it carelessly in before weakly pulling the handle. 
Your body trembled as he sighed, pressing a kiss on top of your head, “You good?” He sat down as he wrapped his arms loosely around you. 
“Y-yeah, I just haven’t been able to keep anything down.” Your body trembled once more as you curled against him, letting him pick you up before delicately carrying you back to bed. 
Leaned against him you weakly curled up as you sighed, your head was beginning to throb once more and your stomach ached with a lingering aftertaste of vomit, god you felt so weak and Chow Mein was not as good as you remembered it tasting. Closing your eyes once more you relaxed on top of Jungkook’s laid out figure, his hand tenderly stroking your back as you nudged into his neck. You’d be happy when all of this was over.
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Note: I got way too impatient and just decided to post this chapter a few hours early, not that y’all are complaining 😂 Let me know what you guys think about everything going on! It’s a lot to take in! 🖤
(Taglist: Due to a bug on my blog nobody will receive notifications from my taglist so I’ve decided to skip it this update, should things return to normal on my blog the taglist will resume!)
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unimooshi · 3 years
Text
Christmas Fluff Snippet Megapost
(brought to you by your host Mooshi bc I’m stuck at home and wanna procrastinate cleaning my room :) )
Rated: G/Fluff
Relationship(s): Literally as many I can think within the span of 3 hours as they’re all basically 1 paragraph long. Feel free to read whichever ones you want I’m making word soup rn. We smackin’ tonight kings, queen, and royals in between😌😭✨
All relationships can be whatever universe you want, unless stated otherwise. Have a good time
Also please keep in mind that I haven’t read a lot of the comics and have a limited knowledge on the cartoons bc I haven’t watched some of them, but I’ll try my best to write out the dynamic as I see it.
1) Starscream/Optimus (StarPrime) you knew we were gonna start with OTP
“I know you wanted to visit Earth for a small vacation, but did you really have to choose the coldest of Earth months to visit?”, Starscream said with borderline disgust as he stared at the snow at the bottom of their ship, the only redeeming thing about the environment was the setting sun.
He kneeled down and scooped up a pile of snow, watching it crumble away between his digits. His internal heating system kicking into overdrive to compensate, little puffs of steam floating into the air. It wasn’t that it was cold, the issue was how wet it would be. The mess that would be made inside their circuits and the water dripping from exposed wiring made Starscream shiver.
“No, I didn’t have to but Earth has such a happy culture this time of year and I wanted to share that with you. I think you’ll like Christmas. Cheer up, let’s take a walk.” , Optimus planted a small peck on the side of Starscream’s helm and stepped outside, the soft crunch of snow following the Prime.
Starscream reluctantly stepped into the snow and groaned with how much water his sensors were already detecting, “How happy could this holiday possibly be with frozen condensation falling from the sky and getting into your circuits?”
“Well, according to what can be found on the internet, it’s an annual religious festival, but most humans use it as a time to see loved ones and celebrate their love for one another.”, Optimus took Starscream’s servo and interlaced it with his own, removing his battle mask to reveal a soft smile with blue optics to match, “and besides you can take a warm lather in the washracks later while I warm up some energon. I know you like watching Earth movies every once in a while.”
Starscream really couldn’t argue with his conjux and just vented out more heat, the puff leaving a trail of white steam as it floated into the evening sky. If being on a mud ball planet meant Optimus would be relaxed then he supposed it would be worth getting his circuits drenched for. Honestly, doing anything was worth it if it meant his Prime would stop thinking about his responsibilities even for just a cycle.
“Your strobes are blinking by the way.”
Starscream stopped walking and flapped his wings into view then dipped them low, brushing it off.
“It doesn’t mean anything.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t.”, Optimus rolled his optics and laughed, holding his conjux’s servo a little tighter.
———
2) Knockout/Breakdown (KOBD)
“Merry Christmas Knockout!”, Breakdown burst into the Medbay with a clumsily wrapped box.
Knockout nearly dropped his datapad and jumped from the sudden intrusion, his servo switched out for his buzz saw until he saw who it was.
“Breakdown!”, Knockout vented out and transformed his servo back, “Don’t scare me like that so suddenly.”
“I’m sorry, but I just wanted to finally give you this. I knew you just had to have it when I saw it and I really hope you like it.”
“All is forgiven. Thank you.”, Knockout casually tore away at the wrapping and lifted the lid, his optics glowing brighter.
“Well...do you like it?”
“Like it? I love it!”, Knockout unfolded the white stripe vinyl inside to it’s full length, laughing with a full smile, “You always know just what to get me!”
He put his gift down on the examination table and went to go hug his conjux, climbing up a little to properly plant a kiss.
As high as the mood was brought up, it was quickly shot down again.
“Wait, I’m not done with your gift yet.”, Knockout left for his datapad and scrolled through something.
“It’s alright, you don’t have to give me one. Your company is the only gift I need.”, Breakdown tried to comfort his conjux, but Knockout held out a servo to stop him.
“That’s a sweet sentiment, but it doesn’t feel fair if I had my gift before yours is even done and I don’t want you seeing it while it’s incomplete.”
“I’m sure I’ll like it even if it’s unfinished. The thought matters more than what it is. Can you tell me what it is?”
“Are you sure?”
Breakdown nodded excitedly.
Knockout sighed and handed over the datapad, “It’s only about 75% of the way done, but it’s a transcription of that Earth book you wanted to read but couldn’t find an online PDF version of it.”
Breakdown scrolled through the pages of words and felt his frame melt.
“I know it’s not as good as what you gave me but—”
“I love it!”, He lifted Knockout off the ground and squeezed, “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome but watch the paint!”
———
3) Bumblebee/Blitzwing (TFA Blitzbee)
Bumblebee wasn’t one for snow to be perfectly honest. Sure, making snowmen and having snowball fights with Sari were fun, but he mostly did those activities to make her happy as her best friend. The frosty windows on the base served as another reminder as to why he liked to stay inside where it was warm and there was plenty of oil to drink, so it was rather ironic when he started seeing a mech who could make ice and enjoyed just burying himself in the frozen stuff.
“Come outside my little bee~”
Random sang softly and taunted him from outside the Autobot base. The heat from Blitzwing’s system fogging up the window further. Everyone else in the base had retreated back to their rooms for the night, leaving Bee free to do what he wanted in the living room. At least, he would be if there wasn’t a giant beige and purple bot trying to get him outside.
“No way Blitzbrain. It’s beyond freezing out there. I’m not locking up my servos just so you can eat street snow again.”
Bumble whispered harshly and opened the window, a gush of frozen air creeped their way through the cracks of his frame. His central heating system kicked online.
Random’s glossa slithered out of his intake, “Aww why not?”
“Because it’s gross. And that’s saying something when it comes from me!”
Vrrrr.
“I suppose that’s true.”, Icy’s lips pouted outward as he pressed his digits to his chin. His sharp features standing out in the crisp darkness of the night, “But aren’t you the one always wanting to go out? Why is it so different this time?”
“Because time impossible to drive in snow and I don’t wanna deal with traffic.”
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“So?”
Vrrrr.
“So why don’t you want to come out here and spend some time away from this stupid base you tiny bug bot!”
Bee held a digit to his intake, “I’m right here idiot, you’ll wake everyone up and then they’ll see you and then we’ll have to fight.”
Vrrrr.
“You’re afraid of the snow aren’t you.”
“What? No. That’s not—I’m not afraid of it are you kidding me? Only sparklings are afraid of stupid things like that.”
“Ok, so you just don’t like the cold.”
“So what if I don’t?”
“Even if you can’t drive, it’s still a nice night for flying.”
Bumblebee’s optics widened, “Flying?”
“Yes. Calm winds, clear skies, no organics or bots in the streets, what more could you wait for?”
“You’re gonna take me flying?”, Bee’s voice rose in pitch and he looked up at his mechfriend with stars in his eyes.
Vrrrr.
“If you keep repeating the same thing I’ll crush you with this wall!”
Vrrrr.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen something go splat!”
Random laughed at his own morbid thought.
“Ok, first of all, don’t crush me. You’re like three times my size, you don’t need a wall. Second, as long as I don’t have to get my servos wet I’ll be there in a nanoklik.”
Bumblebee gave a quick peck before racing away to touch himself up a little for his small impromptu date.
———
4) Megatron/Soundwave (MegaWave)
Megatron was busy. Again.
Soundwave didn’t mind it much as he just worked on his reports, but deep in his spark he really hoped he would’ve made some time to be with him. There was no such luck unfortunately. Soundwave knew his leader was always busy which is what made their small times together all the more special and intimate. Nobody ever saw the side of the warlord that he did and he was quite proud of that. It made him feel special.
>Soundwave.
A private communication line blipped open from Megatron. What convenient timing.
>Yes, Lord Megatron?
>I need you to send a message to Shockwave about the latest export of energon. There will be a delay because of Autobot meddling, but it shouldn’t take more than a couple earth cycles to have everything in order.
>Message received. Will be sent as soon as possible.
>Good. By the way Soundwave, I’ve left something for you in your desk compartment. Consider it a token of my appreciation for all you’ve done staying loyal to the Decepticons.
>Understood. Thank you Lord Megatron.
With that, the line cut off and Soundwave was left alone again in the communication center. His optics glanced over at the large compartment in his desk and opened it. Inside he found a small stack of datapads and one single use datapad filled out.
‘To: Soundwave
Silent as a thief in the night
You crept into my spark and took flight
Your visor so full of mystery
Yet take away much of my misery
In war there is treachery
In war there is loyalty
No words could ever be strung to say how much you mean to me
Merry Christmas,
From Megatron
A/N: I’m done with this post. Whoop. 4 short stories in one post. This is all I could crank out in a few hours. I didn’t anticipate this day to be so busy for me😭😭. I’ve been hanging out with family and dropping off gifts for friends at their door step. You can kinda tel I gave up at the end and poems aren’t really my thing. I’ll finish the rest tomorrow, so just pretend that whatever I post tomorrow was done today. Tell me what you think and have a nice night. I’m gonna pass out now. Mwah.
AND YES WHEN I WRITE MEGS IN ANY FIC HE IS A MUSHY BASTARD WHEN HES NOT AN ASS HAT AND THATS ON SOFT BASTARDS😌✨✨
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Text
Basics :
Name: legend
Age: 24
Preferred pronouns:  He/Him/Goblin
Sexuality: Bi sexual
Zodiac sign: Cancer i am crab
Taken or single: Single.
Three Facts:
1. I have a social disorder called asspergers that for the longest time was spelt assburgers which effects some of my abilites to converse as well as being an axious social potato.
2. At 4 months old i had open heart surgery the kind of which was only discovered the year i had been born, i had been with only one heart valve and i was hooked up to an iron lung as surgerons performed mircospofic surgery on my tiny baby heart splitting one of my valves into 2.
3. I am horrible at writing facts about myself which is a cool fact of its own.
Experience:
How long (months/years?): 8..maybe 9 years?
How’d you start: I rped a furry that was the grim reaper on Facebook and sorta just...continued from there.
MUSE  PREFERENCES :
Female or male:Mostly male have recently begun breaching into females but im not the most comfortable writing them.
Favorite face: I suppose you mean my most favored played muse? Probably statera my first oc. hey didnt specify if it had to be a canon or a fandomless oc.
Least favorite face: Havent found one yet, since i tend to canon diverge even muses i may semi dislike i can sorta just write around it.
Writing  preferences:
Fluff, angst or smut: Y E S
Plots or memes: Horrible plotter, worse memer i honestly just like to send random stuff, sometimes if im lucky a plot will enter my brain thats when you’ll see me drop 15 paragraph starters.
Are you like your muse(s): yeh some of them.
tagged by: Tagged by @sxccubxtch 
Tagging: UUUUU
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hopekiedokie · 4 years
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That’s Rough Buddy (Seokjin)
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SUMMARY : You were invited to your friends' annual Halloween Costume Bash™ and were supposed to go on a matching couples costume but your date cancels at the very last minute. Nevertheless, you pushed through with going to the party in your costume not knowing that you would still end up matching with someone. But unfortunately, it was with that very annoying (yet very attractive) guy that you despise so much.
PAIRING : Seokjin x reader
GENRE: humor, fluff, a sprinkle of angst in the end, enemies to lovers or frenemies to lovers (kinda?)
WORD COUNT : 16.6k+ words
WARNINGS: A swear word or two or seven, Jin is a crackhead (shocker), too much halloween games, excessive use of Avatar The Last Airbender quotes and references (aka Jin channeling his inner Azula)
NOTES: I originally was gonna make y/n and Jin dress up as Team Rocket and title this AU "Prepare for Trouble" but I ultimately decided on this. It pained me to do so because I am such a simp for purple haired Jin. Even if there are SO many hidden ATLA references here, I don't think you need to see it to understand this AU. Although, what on earth are you doing with your life if you've never watched the show?? Anyways, I hope you like this even though it's well into November now. Also, this is my very first fic so hopefully you’d enjoy this! Appa yip yip!
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The smell of pumpkin seems to be enveloping the entire Park residence. You have barely reached the front porch and the scent has already hit your nostrils. How could a simple scent have possibly diffused into such a huge proximity, you wonder to yourself as you knocked on your best friends' front door. It wasn't until you entered the household when things became clear to you. Dozens upon dozens of pumpkins in different sizes were littered from their front hall to their living room. Some were already carved, some were sitting idly, and some were lined up to be carved by Park Jimin and Park Luna.
You were invited here on this lovely afternoon with the promise of free food. But after being handed a plate of pumpkin muffins and a bunch of carving tools, you felt a strong urge to just go home and maybe sleep through the holiday. Of course the two gremlins sitting on the floor, seemingly a pair on a mission, did not allow that to happen. So here you are on your seventh pumpkin, scooping out its contents, definitely not thinking of a million other things you'd rather be doing now. You were just about to stab your eye out with the sharp stabbing tool due to a possible mental breakdown when you got a text from Kim Taehyung.
Taehyung is Jimin’s best friend whom you might have had a crush on for about a year now since you’ve become friends with him. The two of you are going in matching costumes for the annual Park Halloween Costume Bash™ and have been texting non stop for two weeks now. Everyone in town takes this party seriously, including the adults. Even their parents are in on it though unfortunately this year, they're out of town so they aren't really involved. But the chosen winners for best costume are still to be awarded with a free dinner at the famous Park's family restaurant.
Tae Tae 🌻 : So that's a solid no on shaving my head? Cause I really wouldn't be opposed to it if it means a free heavenly meal from Papa Park 👀👀👀
You quietly chuckle at the thought of a bald Taehyung running around. The commitment of this man amazes you. You were about to type a reply when you felt something aggressively tap against your forehead. You look up to see an annoyed looking Luna.
Feeling something is stuck to your forehead, you slowly brought your hand up to touch it and you instantly felt a bit of pumpkin mush. "Did you just hit me with your filthy ladle?!" You disgustingly shouted at her.
"Dude, now is not the time to be all lovey dovey when the party is in three days and we still have about...uhm..." She looked around, started counting and then went to add stuff with her fingers, "A total of 27 pumpkins to stab and a whole house to decorate!"
You groaned loudly and fell on your back on the floor. You feel a headache start to develop from being surrounded by too much pumpkin flavored and scented things. If your two best friends' goal is to put any pumpkin patch to shame, then they definitely have achieved it. At this point, the stench of halloween in this area is strong enough to linger until the holiday comes back next year.
"Okay, but I don't understand why I'm being subjected into pumpkin slavery as well when this isn't even my party to throw?"
"When you're this behind on everything, all hands on deck are needed. We literally have not started on any of our to do list aside from pumpkin carving." It was Jimin who replied to your question. You watch him puncture a bunch of holes on the purple pumpkin he is working on. If you hear the word "pumpkin" one more time, you just might spontaneously combust or repeatedly bash your head with the wooden ladle in front of you. (A/N: Tbh, same here. It's only been a couple of paragraphs and I've already used the word 12 times.) 
"I thought we'd be on top of this without mom and dad's help!" Luna started as she too began poking holes on her [word redacted]. "We are so behind! I mean, this guy still doesn't have a costume!"
"YAH! Stop exposing me like that! I told you, it's a…a work in progress."
Luna snorted at his step brother's remark. "In order for a work to be in progress, it must first be started-" Jimin cut her off by throwing her some [word redacted] meat. 
It effectively stopped her from further embarrassing Jimin from his lack of costume days from the single most important party of their year. But it did start a revolting [word redacted] meat fight which lasted about a good minute. For the good of everyone, you stomped over to the war zone and pried the two idiots from each other. For a bunch of fools who are supposed to be rushing to get things done, they seem to be just fine with wasting their time. 
"OPPA STOP IT!"
"I wouldn't have declared war on you if you hadn't outed me like that to y/n!"
"Well, it's not my fault you're so unready!"
"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH FROM YOU TWO!" You shouted as you yanked Luna off of him. Why on earth did their parents think it would be alright to leave these two on their own is beyond you. You gave Luna a reprimanding look and said, "Seriously, you'll make no progress if you continue with your antics." 
Her eyes widen, looking like a little child being scolded by her mom. "He started it!"
From behind you, you can hear Jimin snickering. Probably feeling smug from her sister taking all the scolding. Honestly, are they five? You faced him with a much dirtier look than the one you gave Luna and he instantly stood straight, lips pressed into a thin line. 
"And as for you!" You started, "I can't believe you still don't have a costume! This is so disappointing coming from you. How could you have let this happen?"
This may seem over dramatic, but this costume party is really THAT important. It's the highlight of the autumn season. This family really knows how to celebrate it and they do not fail to over shine what they had the year before. So this is really a bunch of steps back for these two.
"I know, I know!" Jimin yelled exasperatedly. "It's not that I haven't been planning. It's just that, how could I possibly top what I dressed up as from last year?"
He does have a point. He and Luna teamed up last year on what might be the most iconic costume ever. They both dressed up as the Wilson sisters from the movie White Chicks. They even had prosthetics on just like how Kevin and Marcus impersonated the twins. You guess you would not know how to beat that costume as well.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you're just uncreative cause I found a costume that will surely be a big hit to the people." Luna taunted her brother.
"What is it?" You and Jimin asked at the same time.
"You'll just have to wait and see!" She answered in a sing-song tone and proceeded to clear up the mess they made.
Jimin began helping her sister pick up [word redacted] mush with a long face. "Well that sucks hard for me. How about you y/n? What are you dressing up?" 
"Oh, she's going as Katara, alongside Taehyung who is dressing up as Aang!" Luna answered for you, uttering the latter part in a way that sounds like she's teasing you.
"Oh, sweet! A date with Tae! I didn't know you two were finally going out?" 
"What? No, don't listen to her. It's not a date! We're just friends." The two stared at you with a "yeah right" kind of look so you were compelled to explain further.
"Look, we were talking about The Last Airbender a few months ago and I mentioned how much I really wanted to cosplay as Katara. One thing led to another then poof! Here we are going as Aang and Katara to your party. It's not a big deal."
Jimin had a knowing sly smirk that made you somewhat uncomfortable. "Yeah, except Aang and Katara were madly in love and ended up making babies AND you obviously have a crush on each other." He said.
You reached for the nearest bowl of discarded [word redacted] meat and flung it towards the boy whose eyes have now disappeared and is in a laughing fit.
"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! Y/n doesn't have a big fat crush on Taehyung." Luna defended you. Thank God for her! Between the two goons, she really is the one you can truly count on. You were about to say thank you when she added, "It's obviously Seokjin she has a huge ass crush on!"
Your mouth fell agape.
"Wait, oh yeah it's him!" Jimin agreed and tag teamed with his sister to tease you. Sometimes, you forget that they were born with different parents. Apart from their DNA, they’re pretty much identical. And it's scary.
"Okay, you know what? I take it back. You both deserve this!" You grabbed the mushy bowl and threw gloop after gloop towards the siblings.
Needless to say, you spent more time cleaning up afterwards than working on the decorations.
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The next few days went by like a huge storm. Chaos definitely ensued. You spent more time and effort on making this party possible than you ever did with anything in your life. All you see are purple and orange with a hint of red even when you close your eyes. Halloween seems to haunt you even in your sleep. Just last night, you dreamt you were being wrapped in spider webs (Which let's be honest, is pretty much just cotton) by that huge scarecrow standing in your best friends' lawn.
You were out in town with Jimin doing last minute shopping, telling him that weird and disturbing dream of yours when he suddenly told you he has something to do and pretty much dashed away to the direction of a women's shoe store. What's that all about?
He's been absolutely frazzled since that afternoon you spent terrorising [word redacted]. You can't blame the lad. It's hours away from the party and it seems like he still doesn't have a costume. You and Luna don't know how he's gonna pull this off. If he does though, you'll thoroughly be impressed and would never question Park Jimin's capabilities.
On your way to the nearest bus stop, you received a message from Taehyung. You instantly felt giddy. The fact that you're going to a party with him in matching costumes have only sunk in this morning when you finished with the party preparations. You opened the text and your face instantly fell.
Tae Tae 🌻 : Y/n! I really don't know how to say this. But I don't think I can come to the party tonight. My little sister woke up to a very bad fever this morning and both my parents are working this evening. I'm so so sorry to cancel on you. I know we've been looking forward to this for so long 😔
You know you can't be mad at him. It's not like he planned for this to happen. But you can't help but feel absolutely gutted. He's right, you've been looking forward to this for so long. Since April this year actually. If he's not coming, everything just seems pointless.
You : Aww that's a shame. Don't worry about me though. There's always next year. Worry about your sister! I do hope she'll get better soon. She shouldn't miss out on halloween ☹☹☹
Tae Tae 🌻 : I know. She's not gonna be able to go trick or treating. But I'll make sure we'll watch halloween films! 
Tae Tae 🌻 : Wait what do you mean there's always next year?? 
You : We'll just have to wait for next year to debut our costumes!
Tae Tae 🌻 : WAIT NO. Don't tell me you're not going to the party?? Just because I can't come??
You : Well yeah. It seems pointless to go.
Tae Tae 🌻 : Don't be like that! You're making me feel guilty 😭 Your costume deserves to be flaunted. Go or else I'll never talk to you again 🤧
Despite his order for you to come to the party, all desires to go left you the moment you read his initial text. The entire point of coming is to go as a pair. You both have been working hard to make your costumes as accurate as possible. To come alone doesn't make sense.
You were too engrossed with your phone that you did not realize you were going to crash into a person when you took a turn at the corner of the street. "Oww." You clutched the top of your head, as if you hit a hard wall instead.
"I'm so sorry-" the guy began to apologise but stopped short after he saw you. "Ah y/n! Watch where you're going! Don’t just mindlessly walk around!” he said, rubbing his chest where your head presumably collided with.
“Oh! I bet you're going as Wonder Woman tonight. Get it? Cause you wander too much around!" 
The hollering buffoon in front of you, laughed at his own joke so hard that people around you started looking at the both of you. Wanting to get out of this embarrassing situation, you circled around him and proceeded to walk towards the bus stop. But he unfortunately followed right after you.
"Hang on." He jogged in front of you and held both of your arms. He looked you in the eyes with such seriousness that you think he has something very important to say. But alas, you should’ve known that nothing intelligible ever comes out of his mouth. 
He opened his mouth and said, "Are you actually going as Wonder Woman?"
You made an annoyed sound and slapped his arms away as he said things like "I knew it!" and "I am such a genius!".
"No Seokjin! I'm not going as Wonder Woman.” you said as you reached the bus stop.
“Well that’s a relief! Honestly that’s super low and pedestrian even for you.” He jabbed at you but you stayed silent, not wanting to banter with him, unlike the usual. He carried on blabbering for the remaining time, telling you how “Spicy and scorching” his costume is. Whatever that means. At this point, you have half the mind to believe that he’s dressing up as a jalapeño. Knowing Seokjin, you wouldn’t put it past him to do so.
“You know what, actually, I'm not going at all." you butt in as an attempt to shut him up. His head whipped towards you at such a lightning fast pace, you were sure it would have snapped off. Oh how you wish.
"You're not going?" He said in what sounded like a very disappointed tone. Huh, why would he be disappointed, you thought to yourself.
You shake your head no.
For once, Seokjin seemed rather speechless and something else. Dare you say sad. This is really weird for him but you chose not to analyse him further and stood at the bus stop. You both just stood there in silence for a couple of seconds until a bus came parking.
You were already inside, swiping your bus card, when you heard him say, "Well that's rather disappointing. Who would go and scare the little kids away now?" 
The bus doors closed just as his infamous laugh came rolling. You weren't able to hear it but the sound of his signature windshield wiper laugh still rang in your ears. You flipped him off and hastily took a seat after an old man looked at you with such distaste. You took one last look at Seokjin giving him the finger once more but much discreetly as the bus abandoned his still laughing form.
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When 8:30pm arrived, you were sprawled on your bed watching this god awful halloween film starring Adam Sandler. You, honest to god, love Adam Sandler. But this film isn’t it. You stopped paying attention half way through the movie and started scrolling through your phone when your mom unceremoniously barged in your room.
“Mom, for the last time! I’m not coming to the party!” You told her for like the thirteenth time since you got home this afternoon. It most probably wasn’t the thirteenth time and was probably just the third time. But you’re really not in the best mood.
“Are you extremely, positively, a hundred percent sure about that, honey?” 
You rolled your eyes at that. Your mom is never the one to keep repeating stuff as she is also easily annoyed just like her daughter. “Yes, mom. I am firmly, undoubtedly, and conclusively stating that I am staying in this room for the rest of the night.” You proclaimed, not even sure you can string up further words to describe how sure you are with your decision.
Your mom sighed as you closed the movie, not interested in it anymore. You look up at her with a raised eyebrow, silently asking why she’s still in the room. She fully opened the door and said, “Well, if that’s the case, then you need to tell that to Freddie Mercury downstairs.”
Not really understanding what she meant, you just stared at her dumbfoundedly until your brain finally started to function properly. “Uh, excuse me. But come again?”
She sighed once more, probably already tired from the night and the high jinks that came along with it. She never really liked halloween.
“Just come downstairs. Now.”
You hurriedly got up from your bed and sprinted out of your room. You haven’t even stepped foot at the top of the stairs when you indeed caught sight of the one and the only Freddie Mercury at your front door, rocking his iconic Live Aid outfit, topped with a lavish red robe, and a completely blinged out crown. Of course, we can’t forget the aviators and his emblematic moustache.
“Ay oh!” Freddie yelled at the top of her-I mean his lungs. It was so loud that your cat ran out of your house. Meanwhile, you shamelessly gawked at the person in front of you as you descended downstairs. You were absolutely confident that your best friend wouldn’t be able to top her costume from last year. Oh you were wrong.
“Darling, I know I’m fabulous but don’t ogle at me like that. Now do tell me, what’s this news I’ve heard from the grapevine that you’re not coming to the party??” She asked annoyedly in a pretty decent posh London accent. You on the other hand, ignored her.
“Woah that looks utterly real.” You touched her moustache and she slapped your hand away. 
“Oi! Focus, lass! How could you possibly spend the last three painful days with us on what seemed like the halloween edition of Amazing Race, only to bail on us at the finale?!" Her accent slowly slipped away as her voice progressively got much louder. Once again though, you chose to ignore her.
"Your crown is so beautiful! Is this custom made? Oooh can I touch it?" You asked while reaching for it, not even waiting for her approval.
"Y/n stop it! I asked you a question. Answer it! Why all of a sudden, you decide to not go--"
"Dude, you really hit the nail on this one! Although I have to say, I don't think Freddie had protruding boobs."
Luna dramatically gasped at your statement and covered her chest using her robe. "I do not have protruding boobs! You make it sound like they're massive!"
"Well, compared to Freddie Mercury's, I guess they kinda are."
She hit you for the second time since she got here. "This is as much squeezing I can handle to flatten them out. Nevertheless, I believe I have normal sized breasts! Besides, I'm sure Freddie would've loved to have protruding boobs anyway."
A couple of seconds passed with you two just staring at each other, feeling the weight of your conversation. Realising how stupid your topic is, the both of you burst into laughter.
"What on earth are we talking about? I can't. This is too stupid. What the heck are you even doing here?" You managed to spit out in between laughs 
Luna stopped laughing and gasped once more. She hit you for the third time now and ignored your protests of pain. "You little shit! What are you still doing here in your pyjamas! The party started 30 minutes ago! Come on, let's get you dressed up!"
She yanked your arm towards the direction of your room but you stayed planted to where you stand. "I can't. I told you, I'm not going."
She dropped your arm and took off her aviators. She had a really disappointed look which must be mirroring your own expression. "You can't be serious. We've been working hard for this. We've been excited for it since the first day of autumn!"
You didn't reply to her, you just looked at the ground. "But what about Taehyung?"
"Taehyung isn't coming."
Confusion spread across her face so you told her about his dilemma with his sister.
“Well that’s just bullshit.” She concluded with such spite. Your eyes widen at her aggression towards Taehyung. You can’t believe she would be this hostile about him choosing to care for his sick little sister. What else was he supposed to do? Abandon her for you?
“What the hell, Luna! HIS SISTER IS SICK! How could you be so bitter to him?”
“Woah! Woah! Woah!” She waved both hands up in a defensive manner, “I’m not mad at him! I’m mad at you!” 
You rubbed your face with both of your hands. You guess it makes sense for her to be mad at you but now is really not the time for you to agree with her. You're not in the best mood to carry out an argument. You just want to crawl back to your room. That dreadful Adam Sandler movie suddenly sounds so temptingly riveting. Having said that, you still made it clear to her as to why you would prefer staying in tonight. 
Luna, being the stoic person that she is, completely disagreed with your reasoning. "Oh quit being dramatic! He already gave you the heads up to go tonight. What more do you need?"
"I don't know, Luna. I just feel like I'm betraying him if I go."
She glared at you for a good second as if trying to telepathically make you change your mind. When it dawned on her that you're not conceding, she sighed the longest sigh you've ever heard from anyone, dramatically placed her aviators back, turned around while flicking her robes on your face, and then strutted away from you. 
"Fine then! If you'd rather sulk here over a boy rather than spending an astounding good time with your friends, then be my guest! I guess all that hard work you've put in will be for nothing. But that's fine! There's always next year anyway, right?"
You watch her shimmy her tush towards the front door as she spews out reprimands after reprimands. And she says you're dramatic. Birds of the feather, really do flock together.
Her hand is on the doorknob when she gave you what meant to be her last look on you. It seemed more of a plea to you though. At that moment, you felt a pang of guilt. Are you really going to abandon your best friends for Kim Taehyung? 
You gave her a small smile and said, "I'm sure you'll have a fucking marvelous party!"
Finally, she gave out a groan of defeat and opened your front door. "Oh whatever y/n! I should've left the second your mom told me you're not coming. Jimin needs my help, anyways"
Jimin. Somehow, you remembered that that boy didn't have a costume even until this morning. You wonder what on earth did he pull at the very last minute. So you called out to Luna.
"Luna, wait a second!"
"WHAT NOW?!" She yelled exasperatedly 
"I just want to know what Jimin dressed up as."
She let go of your front door knob and crossed her arms. "Why'd you wanna know? It's not like you care about this party."
"Oh give me a break! Just tell me what it is!"
The smirk she has on her face tells you that she's not giving you what you want. Which you are absolutely correct.
"I'm not telling you what he dressed up as. If you want to know, then you find it out yourself. All I'm saying is that his costume is literally everything."
Some way or another, that statement of hers stirred something inside of you. Somewhere, a few blocks down, is a Park Jimin dressed up as something "literally everything" (Park Luna, 2020). If there's something you know about Jimin is that his definition of marvelous is a normal person's definition but times ten. She could be bluffing, but your curiosity is really peaked. 
Damnit, you need to know what he dressed up. Right now.
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You stood at the doorway of the Park residence living room with your mouth on the floor. 
In the middle of their room is where a really cool light up dance floor is. You already know that since you were there when it was set up yesterday. What caught your attention was the guy dancing wildly right smack in the middle of everyone. A wild Jimin was twerking, doing high kicks, and *gasp*! Did he just do a split???
Beside you, stands a preoccupied Luna, too busy taking a video of his untamed brother. “What did I tell you? Fucking everything!” She hollered and yelled at him to do some more of his high kicks.
You looked at your thick blue Southern Water Tribe coat lined with fur and then at Jimin, wearing his Patrick Star hooker costume. Suddenly, you feel overdressed. He was only wearing a tight pink sweatshirt, Patrick’s famous green shorts, fishnet stockings, and some sexy thigh high leather boots. Yet he is indeed stealing everyone’s attention. How could he possibly bust out those kinds of moves in those thin stilettos? A normal woman can even barely stand in them. Hold on, so that’s why he bolted to that women’s shoe shop this morning, you thought to yourself. It all makes sense now. 
Luna was left enabling his brother's thotty attitude as you walked to the kitchen. Luna was right, staying at home was a dumb idea. You can't help but admire all the halloween decorations the three of you have placed everywhere. Now you understand the vibes the two siblings were going when they said they wanted the house to be illuminated by jack o lanterns only. It looks really pretty here. Let's just hope and pray that this house won't burn down at the end of the night because this is definitely a fire hazard.
A guy approached you as you were standing by the snack bar. You don't really know who he is but he's dressed up as Dumbledore so you felt obligated to talk to him. "Your Katara costume is so cool! I'm a huge fan of the series! (A/N: Honestly who isn't?) Is it okay if I take a pic with you?" He asked and instantly whipped his phone out. 
Who were you to say no? So you awkwardly stood close to him and smiled for the camera. Is this what fame feels like?
"Gee thanks! I'll have to take another picture with you later but with your date too." 
Your face fell for a fraction of a second for being reminded by Taehyung. How does this guy know that Taehyung and you were supposed to go in matching costumes?
"Oh, I'm sorry! Taehyung won't make it tonight which is a huge shame." 
He looked at you weirdly. "Who's Taehyung?"
"Uh my date..?" you stated but ended up sounding more like asking a question.
"Oh, your date!" Realisation hit him and you slowly nodded. "But he did come!"
"WHAT?" 
"Yeah. I saw him arrive earlier. I must say, he looks sick!"
Taehyung came? But what about his sister? Did she magically get better? Why didn't he text you or something? You are so confused.
"Have you seen him anywhere?" You asked rather hopefully.
"Yeah! He's out back giving palm readings in his fortune telling booth."
Well now you're even more confused. That booth was meant to be a prop display only. What the hell is Taehyung doing, playing fortune teller with it? 
You thanked the guy and zoomed out to the backyard as fast as you could. There were no signs of Taehyung anywhere. You roamed around for a couple of minutes, trying to maneuver around the massive crowds towering over your pretty small form, until you heard a loud guy complaining about some drink.
"I'm telling you man! We need cactus juice up in here!" Oh, that annoying voice, you're sure you'd recognise that anywhere. It's only a matter of time until you run into him.
"It'll Quench Ya!" Hold up, that’s a Sokka line! Why would he be quoting from “Avatar: The Last Airbender”?? 
"Nothing's Quenchier, It's The Quenchiest!" You hear him say before he bust out his windshield wiper laugh. His voice seems to be coming from that large group of people by the fortune telling prop. You approached the group not for Seokjin, but to see if Taehyung was around. The two of them are in the same friend group.
It was difficult to scout around the group since everyone is a lot taller than you. You jumped around until you caught a glimpse of the hollering man in the middle, wearing something red and what appears to be a large scar on his face. Why does that scar look familiar? Realisation hit you like a ton of bricks. It seemed like time stopped for all the wrong reasons when you took in the entirety of Seokjin's costume. 
"Hey, look! It's Seokjin's date!", someone said and every single head there was in that group turned towards you at the same time. Even Seokjin, himself. It's so comical and stupid that you'd think you're in some sort of sitcom.
You looked like a deer caught in headlights, just stood frozen in front of the crowd. To be fair, how were you supposed to react anyway?
“Damn, she looks really pretty!
“Those are some fine hair loopies!”
“I don’t understand why they would go as Zuko and Katara. It doesn’t make sense.”
“ZUTARA MOTHAFUCKAS!!!”
One, you agree that you look banging tonight. Two, You also agree that if the two of you were indeed on a date, it wouldn’t make sense to go as Zuko and Katara when they weren’t even a thing. But three, yes, Zutara all the way and you would go down with that ship faster than you can say Bonzu Pipinpadaloxicopolis The Third.
Although the crowd had valid points, you would still think that Seokjin would contradict some of them. You know, like the accusation of the two of you being on a date? So it was a shock when he approached you with open arms and a huge smile while saying, “AH! There’s my sugar queen! Flameo, hotman! I was beginning to think you’ve bailed on me.”
You stepped back even before he got the chance to hug you. 
“Uh what the heck is this all about?” You were pointing out the ridiculousness of him acting like the two of you twinning was planned but he thought you were talking about his fortune telling booth.
“Oh you know me! As a theatre arts major, I can’t help it when situations arise that forces me to slip into a different character.”
You looked at him unamused. “That’s literally a mental disorder you just described and literally, NO ONE forced you to do this. That prop was happily chilling in the background and you just have to go and torment it.”
He shushed you with a finger to your lips and it took all the will in you to not bite it off. “You’re just saying that cause you haven’t tried getting my expert opinion.”
“Expert opinion- You know what? Whatever! I don't have the patience to do this right now. I'm out here looking for my date so this night could get better. So why don't you just tell everybody here that we are not- hmmp!" Seokjin's rather large hands covered your entire face to shut you up or maybe slap you. Honestly you weren't sure. He was intending to cover your mouth but in his haste, he managed to smack you instead.
"Hey, guess what? I think you're the only person here I haven't told their fortune yet! That's just a shame, that won't do. No, no, no. What's that? You wanna go now? What a brilliant idea! Let's go, sugar queen!", he said all that in one breathing then pushed you towards "his" fortune telling booth that YOU had set up before the sun even rose this morning.
It was a very small purple tent (Actually, it was just a massive piece of cloth hanging from a tree trunk) with a little table set up and a crystal ball in the centre. He yanked the front part close for some privacy and you think you've never been more repelled in your entire life. To be stuck in such a small confinement with Seokjin and his ten foot wide shoulders is something that should be illegal.
He pushed you aside so he could sit at "his" table with you nearly falling through the cloth at the process. Once he's settled, he looks at you expectantly with a huge grin as if you actually wanted to get your fortune read by him. As if you volunteered yourself to be in this position.
His brain really is something and whatever that something is, you don't even want to try and decipher it.
Against your better judgement, you dragged yourself to sit in front of him. You're already here, might as well just try and enjoy the ride. Right? 
Your butt had barely touched your seat and Seokjin was already declaring some insights about your future.
"Your future is full of struggle and anguish. Most of it, self-inflicted.", he said in all seriousness.
And of course, this is just some mischievous way to rile you up. What else did you expect from this guy? Or better yet, why do you even bother with him? 
"You're not even gonna read my palms or bust out some tarot cards? Maybe do a little gazing into the crystal ball?"
"I didn't need to. It's written all over your face."
It took you a second to realise that he just directly quoted from Avatar again. You are quite annoyed at his childishness and slightly amused at his apparently extensive knowledge for Avatar references.
"I'm gonna give you the count of three to get the hell out of my face. If you're still here, I'll make sure your destiny ends right here." You replied, also quoting from the series.
He chuckled at your threat, finding it real cute just how easy it is for him to irritate you. "Okay, calm down. No need to get murderous."
"One."
"Hey, it's not my fault you're bound for failure!"
"Two!"
"Wait, are you actually being serious now?"
"THREE!", you yelled and lunged at the scarred boy.
He made a high pitched scream as you went and grabbed one of his shoulders. Your tiny chair went tumbling down and the crystal ball rolled off to the ground in your vicious movements. 
"Please, not the face! Anything but the face! It's too VIP!"
"Oh, I'll make sure that stupid scar becomes a permanent part of your face!"
One of his hands were on your arm while the other was held tightly around your hand that was trying to claw his "VIP" face. For a small person, you seem to be putting up a big fight against him.
The scene that was unfolding inside that small tent is a sight to behold. If anyone ever walked in right now, they definitely would think that a more salacious thing is going to go down. All of the ruckus the two of you are making can probably be heard from the outside. But the both of you are too out of it to even consider the embarrassment you might get if someone barges in. Which is why you didn’t notice Jimin’s head poke inside the tent.
"Wow you guys. If y'all wanted a room, you could've just asked. As a very supportive friend, I would gladly give you one." The voice of Jimin rang from behind you and you instantly let go of each other, feeling a bit flustered.
"It's not what it looks like!", you tried reasoning with the boy. "He's being his usual little shit self and I'm just trying to purge it out of his system!"
Jimin, equally being a little shit like his older friend, brushed your reasoning aside. "Y/n, y/n, y/n. Out of all the people here, you're really the one to mess this perfectly set up prop? Didn't us setting this up at midnight meant anything to you? Couldn't you have just let Seokjin hyung here to peacefully give you his readings?"
You rolled your eyes at him. “Can you just shut up? Also, you knew this shithead was using our prop and you just let him be?”
“Of course he did! He’s taking 25% of my total earnings tonight.” Seokjin muttered. 
“Total earnings- You’re making people pay for your made up bullshit?!” You hollered at the wide shouldered guy. Why are you even surprised about this? It’s Seokjin we are talking about. He could probably convince people to pay him just by walking past him.
“Oh you bet! But don’t fret, I’m not gonna charge you. With that kind of fate that you have, I’m sure you need every bit of kindness.”
Steam could might as well visibly come out of your ears right now with how enraged you are at him. You wanted to strangle him, bloodbend even. You didn’t have the chance to do anything though because Jimin was pulling you away. “Would you two stop with the lover’s quarrel for like a goddamned minute?”
He shoved you outside then did the same to Seokjin. “Everyone’s already inside about to play games and you two are still out here, too busy being all over each other!”
Jimin didn’t even need to say anything else or to further force you two. Just the word “games” made you both run inside at record speed. If people got real competitive with the costume contest, the halloween games are a whole other thing. Usually, after an hour or so since the party has started, the Parks hold a series of halloween themed games. The winners get various coupons. They aren’t as good as a free four course meal but that’s better than nothing especially if we're talking about the Park’s restaurant.
Sometimes, these games are done in groups but usually it’s in pairs. You weren't surprised that this year, all games are going to be done in pairs but unlike recent years, the games are going to be done in a "last man standing" manner. You knew all of this since you helped pick these games. You'd be more hyped up about them if it weren't for the fact that you don't have a pair to play with.
All these talk about games reminded you of Taehyung. You completely forgot you were supposed to look for him. But it became clear to you that he didn't really come when almost everyone who you came across with to your walk back inside pretty much assumed that Seokjin was your date. They all made some comment regarding your matching outfits which Seokjin didn't even try to deny. He was just gobbling up their compliments.
You listened to Freddie Mercury and Patrick Star explain the mechanics of this year's "Halloween Olympics". Now, what you didn't know was that they also changed the prize system. Apparently, they upped the prize since it's going to be a bit more difficult to win and there's only going to be one winning pair. This year, the winning pair is also going to win a free dinner. That got people buzzing.
With that, Luna explained that only the first 20 pairs to find a small, red, and hidden [word redacted] could compete in the games. Chaos ensued as you watch everyone scour around the house. All at once, you felt like you don't want to be competing against anyone in this room. Everyone seemed too terrifying as they went berserk. But alas, tonight doesn't seem like your night.
One by one, pairs came towards the siblings with their [word redacted] until only one was left hidden. Some guy, for some stupid reason, made the wrong decision to point and scream out the location of the last one. Obviously, everyone else made a beeline towards it. 
Everything went in a complete blur for you. All you remember was seeing a tall guy in red jump for it. Then you were yanked by the said guy. Next thing you know, you were competing in the first game. Well, “competing” is a strong word. Seeing as you were dragged here unexpectedly without your consent and were in a total daze, your partner took full control of the reins. Now that you're coming back to your senses, you think this is for the best if you want to win. For once in his life, he can finally put his frat boy skills to good use. 
The first game was announced to be a game of eyeball beer pong. It seems like the siblings are trying to get people drunk this early. You guess it’s a good strategy to easily kick people out of the games. But you and your partner ain’t going to be one of them. You watch your partner make perfect shots after shots, hitting every cup of the opposing pair. It wasn’t long before you both had won and eliminated the other pair.
“I can’t believe we lost! I really thought we had it in the bag.” One of the other guys had the audacity to say in front of Kim Seokjin, a true blue frat boy.
“Oh don’t flatter yourself! You were never even a player.” Seokjin muttered to the guy and held his hand up to you as if you were actually going to give him a high five. Instead, you gave him a long hard stare as cold as any of the water tribes. Any sane person would be decent enough to feel remorseful. He didn’t. Instead, he grabbed one of your wrists and gave himself a high five. 
You smacked him upside his head. “You insolent fool!” You hollered like a villain in a Disney movie.
“Yah! What was that for?” his feigned innocence made you want to tear out not only his hair but also your own.
“You think I want to compete with you?” 
He crossed his arms and slowly shook his head at you. Almost as if he is disappointed in you. “Tsk tsk tsk. I carried the whole bench and this is what I get from you? Just say ‘thank you’ and go.” 
You scoffed. “For your information, I didn’t ask to be paired with you. You just yanked me from nowhere!”
“Well then, you're welcome, sugar queen!”
“YOU’RE WELCOME?? I don’t want to be paired with you!” 
Your seething rage seems to somewhat alarm him. “Okay, okay, calm down!” You opened your mouth to interrupt him but he didn’t let you. “I admit that I did just yanked you and didn’t ask for your permission. Sure, that wasn’t really cool. BUT! In my defense, I was so deep in my competitive zone that I didn’t take the time to notice who I was pulling.” 
He looked at you to see if you had anything to say but the annoyance remained etched on your face so he continued reasoning with you. “Listen, we both just want the same thing and that is to win. That ain't happening to you seeing as you're all alone. So really, I kinda did you a favor here. Come on, it'll be fun!"
You hate to admit it, but he does have a point. Maybe it's not that bad of an idea to pair up tonight. You both are pretty competitive. Besides, you do need a little cheering up err- a distraction, I mean.
"I guess we could try and not tear each other apart even just for tonight. This is for a good cause. We do both really want that free meal. Fine, I'll call truce for now." You finally conceded and held your hand out to him. He took it and you shook hands.
"I'm glad you're seeing it my way. Because to be honest, you're not winning a free meal with that costume." He confidently said with a shit eating grin.
You squeezed his hand a little too tightly and ignored his yelps of pain. "And neither will you because guess what?! Your scar is on the wrong side!"
"Ah! I knew someone's gonna tell me that sometime tonight. I can't even be mad at that reference."
"No Seokjin. Your scar really is on the wrong side."
"Yeah, and tea is just hot leaf juice."
"Uh, it really is though. But I repeat, your scar’s on the wrong side, buddy!"
“No it’s not.”
“Believe it or not, it is!”
"Are you actually being serious?"
You let out a really long sigh of disbelief to what you'll have to put up with. This is for sure going to be a long night.
To your surprise, the night did not go on as a drag. The next game did start off rocky with you not being able to guess any of the given Halloween charades. Either you are not as cultured as you think you are or you just don't get the mind of a theatre major. Or maybe, it's just his mind you don't understand, to be honest.
"How on earth was that Silence of the Lambs?!"
"What do you mean 'how on earth was that Silence of the Lambs'? What else does this even mean?" He replied while acting like his arms are pinned to his sides then proceeded to cover his mouth and then did a fluttering motion with one of his hands that seemed to be coming out of his lips.
"That could literally mean anything! For all I know, that could mean The Mummy!"
He scoffed at you as if you just told him the most offensive thing in the world. "The Mummy?? Oh, you are absolutely hopeless. We are so doomed if we keep letting you guess."
"No, we are SO doomed if we let you act out the things! You dare call yourself a theatre major?" To any other person, you would think that your comment is in fact just downright offensive. But that's not the case with you two because it seems like you could push all the wrong buttons of the other person and somehow still not end up really hurting anyone. You wouldn’t admit it, but maybe both of you find this weird comfort in these silly banters and in the midst of it all, you've unknowingly built some form of bond.
You collectively agree to switch roles and just like that, the tides shifted. The two of you were suddenly getting the correct guesses each round. At the very last round, you drew the movie Caroline from the witch hat. If it were you and Luna playing, you guys would have guessed this in a heartbeat since it's your favorite movie. But you're with Seokjin and you are extremely positive that he has never even seen the movie.
When the one minute and thirty second counter started to tick down, you immediately made a circle around one of your eyes and made a sewing motion to it. You thought it couldn't be anymore obvious than that but he just stared at you. By the time forty seconds have passed, your hope for him trickled down. You could hear the opposing pair celebrating prematurely on the side which ticked you off so much.
Your sewing motions got a lot more aggressive as you gave Seokjin the most desperate look you could ever give him. He in turn, gave you a very rare apologetic look. Yup, you guys were doomed from the beginning. All you can think of is how much this night really sucks for you. You probably should have stayed at home.
Once everyone started counting down from fifteen, you bid goodbye to the grand prize. The idea of it was just too good to be true. You stopped with your motions and gave Seokjin a small nod of defeat. He acknowledged this by giving you a slow nod as well and this seemed like the end for your pair. His gaze on you, however, flitted towards something or someone from behind you. His eyes stayed there for a good five seconds, appearing to be in deep concentration. You didn't even have the chance to look back since right before the audience counted to one, Seokjin was screaming the correct answer.
"CORALINE! It's Coraline! Of course, how could I not know?" He announces while flapping his arms wildy just a second before the timer rings. Everyone cheered at this sudden victory. The turn of events left you stunned. You thought for sure he wouldn't get it. He just keeps surprising you.
Seokjin approached you with a huge smile on his face and you can't help but return it to him. Not only that, you gave him a big hug which caught him off guard. You didn't know what came over you to do that but it felt like the right thing to do. He didn't seem to show any signs of protest as well.
"What the fuck? I really thought that was the end of the line for us!" You told him after sharing a brief hug.
"You really need to put a little trust on me. What can I say? I'm a genius." Just like that, you went back to wanting to punch his face again.
Rolling your eyes, you murmured, "Did the definition of genius change in the last 100 years?"
While you turned your attention to Jimin who was already announcing the next game, Seokjin glanced towards Luna and gave her a smile. Unbeknownst to you, this so-called "genius" partner of yours actually had help. He, did in fact, was never going to get the correct guess. He has never seen Coraline nor does he know anything about it. But your best friend, Luna, decided that she wanted to keep you two in the games so she tried so hard to discreetly mouth "Coraline" to Seokjin a couple of times.
You didn't need to know that though.
He didn't mind receiving a few assistance to win, but it does hurt his pride and it will hurt more if you find out. Fortunately for Seokjin, he didn't need any further helping hands. Even from you. 
Either the games are too easy or you're just completely and utterly incapable because Seokjin pretty much breezed through them without even batting an eye. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he's trying to impress someone. You, maybe? Wait, no. That doesn't make any sense. Why would he do that? Besides, he made sure to gloat on you everytime your pair wins with you contributing nothing.
A couple of games and one harrowing round of What's Inside the Box later, just six pairs remained. It wasn't exactly all fun and games since along the way, your pair or rather, Seokjin made a rivalry against another pair. This couple dressed up as Team Rocket really got on his nerves. You can't blame him though. They kept on flirting with each other after every round and not to mention, they also kept taunting you two. You'll bloodbend them if you hear "Prepare for trouble and make it double" one more time before a game starts. To be fair, they do play very well. Actually, they seem to be the only other pair that puts up a good fight.
By this time, everyone has migrated outside for the last few games. For this one, as you already knew, you'll be playing blindfolded bean bag toss. One person would have to guide the other as they go through three different levels. The pairs that don't make it through would obviously get eliminated.
"Oh, we are so gonna dominate on this one!" You hear the girl dressed up as Jessie says.
"For sure. Why don't they all just pretend to be a tree and leave?" The guy dressed up as James condescendingly said and they both laughed out loud at his joke.
You visibly cringed at that. Can they get anymore intolerable? That's saying a lot coming from someone who knows Seokjin, arguably the most abhorrent creature in your life. Jeez, and you thought his jokes were the worst.
Seokjin made a gagging noise beside you, voicing out your sentiments. You can't help but laugh out loud with him until Patrick and Freddie approached you two.
"Okay, who's going to lead and who's the blindfold wearer between you two?" Patrick said and snickered a little after realising the other implications of his question. This little shit.
"Well, seeing as her skills are lacking, I'm gonna once again step up to the plate and handle this one." Seokjin reached for the blindfold but you snatched it from Luna's hand before he could.
You can't just let this night go down like this. Honestly, you're kind of having fun watching all the chaos ensue from the sidelines. But you're a woman of honour. You can't possibly go for a win while doing the bare minimum. You dare dress up as Katara and let some man take over?
"I'll be playing this one." You calmly but confidently declared.
"Sugar queen, I love the assertiveness. But I think you should-"
"I'm playing this one." You interrupted him with such firmness in your tone, they couldn't do anything but just nod to you.
Hell no are you gonna let Seokjin annihilate this night all by himself. You need to prove that you can match up to him. You'll show his stupidly pretty face and wrongly placed scar not to mess with your capabilities.
You took a long hard look at the three targets. Each one going higher and farther than the one before. You are to be given a practice round each level to get your bearings. Yada yada yada. You tuned the siblings out, of course you already knew all this. As the person who placed the goals, you'd think you have the upper hand. You were overly confident, bordering the line of cockiness, that you could do this. You even had the audacity to sneer at Team Rocket when they uttered their catchphrase to you.
You watched each pair try and make their shot. Surprisingly, everyone made it. That only added fuel to your fire. You were excited. You couldn't wait to finally do something. On top of that, Seokjin kept muttering things to you that if they can do it then so can you. 
When it's your time to play, you are extremely buzzing. Going last is always an overwhelming feeling. All that built up confidence died down though the second you put on your blindfold. The darkness that enveloped you instantly made you feel unbalanced and disoriented. Confusingly, it's as if all your other senses heightened but it also felt like they all shut down at the same time. 
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You chant in your mind as you feel your awareness of your surroundings slip from you.
This is not good. Why did you subject yourself into doing this, again? You should've let Seokjin play when he had the chance. You clearly cannot do this.
In the midst of your swelling panic, you feel hands place on both of your shoulders. You jumped at the unexpected contact but it was just Seokjin. "You can do this, Okay? Just focus on me." He whispered in your ear with such comfort and softness that you had to shiver a little.
He rubbed small circles on your back with his thumbs, soothing you for a second until Luna gave you the go signal.
You slowly walk as straight as you possibly can even if you feel like toppling over the entire time. Please don't. The entire time, Seokjin was behind you. You halted when he told you and to the best of your abilities, you "delicately", as he instructed you to, tossed the bag to the left.
"Okay, that was shit." He truthfully told you in a nice tone as you hear the people around begin tittering at what you assumed to be such a horrible shot. You think you just heard Team Rocket announcing their victory. Shit, shit, shit, shit. You are royally fucked.
"Seokjin..." You can't help but whine, your anxiety creeping up ten fold.
"Hey, hey, hey. That's fine! What are practice rounds for?" He tried easing you.
"But everyone-'
"Forget about everyone. It's just you and me right now. Calm down and focus." The gentleness of his words and the lulling of his voice somehow allowed your breakdown to dissipate a little. If you're in a better state, you'd be surprised at how he is behaving towards you. You'd probably dismiss it and reason that he just badly wants to win. That's the only fitting explanation.
Sensing that you've calmed down a little bit, he let out a breath that he unconsciously has been holding. Your sudden mood shift made him really nervous. "Okay, sugar queen. I know you're a waterbender but mind channeling a little bit of your inner Toph for now? Just try and maybe get in tune with the surroundings? Come on, you set this thing up. Can’t you, like, use that to your advantage somehow?”
Easier said than done. But the way he’s practically cooing at you as he talks makes you want to subconsciously do anything for him right now. He could ask you to go find him a dragon egg and you’d most probably follow his orders blindly. Which is a concerning thought that you’d mull over later. For now, you focus only on his voice and try your best to toss the bean bag inside the goal.
You took a deep breath and said you're ready to attempt your shot. Seokjin instructed you to make your throw a bit more vigorous. By how much? You have no idea. Hell, you don’t even remember how hard you threw your last shot. This is literally all up to chance, if we’re being real. So you prayed to every spirit out there to put all odds in your favour. 
Around you, some people began cheering. Some people were kind of waiting for you to completely miss again to get some good laughs out of it. Other pairs were taunting you, making a distraction. But you tried your hardest to tune them all out. Right now, all you can focus on is your aim and the nice words Seokjin is throwing at you. With shaking hands, you make a swing with what you hope is enough force to get to the next level.
You weren’t aware of it but to everyone else, it’s as if time went in slow motion. People’s heads comedically followed the direction of your bean bag. Your two best friends were both wide eyed, Jimin had both of his palms on the top of his head and Luna had her mouth wide opened. Seokjin stood nervously behind you with his hands intertwined in front of his lips as if reciting a prayer. Your bean bag’s hang time felt like an eternity but it was more than enough to realise that you still weren’t going to be able to make it. Seokjin almost cried on the spot at that realisation until your bean bag hit the rim of the basket. That split second of it hitting the rim made all the difference in the world. Everyone literally went silent as the bean bag bounced off the rim and went straight inside the basket.
With your vision completely obscured, you were clueless to all the spectacle that’s happening. In contrast to everyone, everything went in fast forward to you. Right after you made your shot, you instantly heard people yelling your name and a pair of arms encaged you from the back. Seokjin lifted you up and started spinning you around, obviously a sign that you made it. 
With everyone’s reaction, you would think you made a championship winning shot. You don’t really understand the hype but you were just glad that you did it and it did wonders to your confidence.
“I told you that you were doing great! You just need to follow my voice.” Seokjin told you as he set you down and you took your blindfold off. Everyone still kept cheering wildly as Luna declared the start of the second round.
“Well, it is hard to ignore.” You joked at him but for some reason it made him blush. If his long hair weren’t hiding his ears, you would also see how harshly they’re flushing. He didn’t have a witty comeback and just avoided your gaze. He is flustered. How cute. You openly thought to yourself without even feeling an ounce of shame. It seems that the tides are indeed shifting and you’re not even fighting against the current.
The game continued with less dramatics, oddly enough. Even more odd is that you easily made it through the entire game. In the end, you weren’t even sure why you panicked in the first place. Two pairs got eliminated so you are now down to four. That’s fortunate for you. What’s unfortunate is that Team Rocket still hasn’t blasted off.
The next game was a round of Paper Dance. You were relieved that you both had to actively participate on this one and not have one of you slacking off to the side. You weren’t quite relieved when you remembered the mechanics of the game. Basically. You are given a sheet of newspaper and are forced to dance around it. When the music stops, both persons need to step inside the paper and stay there. Every round, the paper gets folded in half so the pair gets pretty close and intimate with each other. 
The thought made you nervous and you slightly broke into a sweat. You were feeling rather uncomfortable with your heavy layers so you opt to take off your outer coat. Some tall and lanky guy dressed up as a sunflower, which you believe is also one of Jimin's close friends, started hollering, “Take it off now girl, just take it off!” 
As objectifying his words are, you choose to laugh at how ridiculous he looked. A soft delicate flower uttering such promiscuous things. You thought maybe humour could divert your fluttering heart long enough for one pair to get eliminated so you could all move on to the next game. It didn’t, of course, what were you even expecting?  
As the newspaper shrank, the more agitated you became. The fact that it was taking so long for one pair to get eliminated makes you weak in the knees and you don’t know if it’s a positive or a negative reaction. At this moment, the paper is still relatively in a decent size but it could only accommodate one pair of feet inside. Due to your lack of communication, you both stepped one foot inside when the music stopped and you collided with one another rather harshly. You immediately went flying down to the ground but Seokjin managed to grab your arm and pull you towards him. Once you were flush against each other, both of you instinctively wrapped an arm around the other person to gain balance.
The action might have saved you both from getting eliminated but it definitely put you two in quite a dangerous spot. Just like when you were blindfolded a while ago, everything around you tuned out and all you can focus on is you and Seokjin. Only this time, you weren’t facing just an empty dark abyss. You were face to face with the dark abyss of his eyes. Your faces were mere centimeters away. An hour ago, you would willingly defenestrate yourself, horrified at the idea of getting this close to this guy. But right now, as you two stare and hold on to each other, you weren’t so repelled. Neither is he.
You two were just getting comfortable with each other if it weren’t for Jimin blatantly calling you out for this really personal moment. “Oi! The music is back up! You two can get back to your lovey dovey moment later but for now we game.” The actual buffoon roared at the mic. His very public comment made everyone start hollering and teasing the two of you. Just like that, you went back to square one, an awkward mess.
At one point, Seokjin almost fell off when he gave you a piggyback ride. You thought it was either because you were too tense to even jump properly on his back or you are just plain heavy. You’re not even sure which option is better. The way that you are so conscious around him has never been a problem to you. You have an inkling as to why this is happening but you refuse to say it to yourself.
While you mentally kept cursing yourself, Seokjin was having the same problems. He was too shaky to properly hold you. He too was cursing at himself for acting so muddled around you all of a sudden. This is getting pretty bad. He needed to get a hold of himself fast. By that, he means go back to being a cat and mouse with you. In other words, go back to insulting you. But his inner self is telling him to just let this moment be and to let himself indulge in it. 
Another agonising round later, one pair finally got eliminated. Thankfully for that, Seokjin was only tiptoeing on one foot at this point whilst carrying you. You, on the other hand, had other reasons to be thankful for.
Now, you were down to just three pairs. The semi finals are up next so you really need to get back to your senses. You are so close to achieving the grand prize. Remembering what the next game is, you knew you were monumentally screwed.
The semi finals, as Jimin is explaining, would be a bat doughnut eating contest. Five doughnuts shaped in a bat are individually hung on a string in their clothesline and both pairs would have to stand on either side, eating them all as fast as they could without using their hands. Both pairs are only allowed to work on one doughnut at a time. Now, that’s just on a completely different level of invasion of personal space. But you can’t blame anyone because you came up with half of these games, including this one.
“Let’s quickly push through this one.” Seokjin told you from his side. “We can’t let the others win. Remember, only the first two pairs get in the finals.”
You admire how composed he is right now. Why can’t you be as unaffected as he is? This is for the sake of the grand prize. Do you even want it? If yes, then you badly need to keep your eyes on the prize and nothing else. Definitely not on Seokjin, or on his piercing eyes, or his soft looking lips. NO STOP. Just what on earth is happening to you?
Realising you haven’t given him an answer, you simply nodded. With that, you heard the go signal and all three pairs started devouring the doughnuts. 
They are [word redacted] flavoured. Of course, what did you expect? You try not to gag at that and you also try to avoid accidentally making out with Seokjin while making sure you eat the entire thing at lightning speed. There were way too many things going on at the same time for you to handle. Your brain could not possibly keep up. It’s like your brain and body were being controlled by two separate things.
One doughnut down and you move on to the next one, then the next one, and the next one. “That’s it, keep going!” Seokjin kept on muttering motivating words whenever he could. Again, how could he be so composed at a time like this? Somehow along the way, your brain completely shut down and your body went into autopilot. The two of you fell into an unspoken strategy of having sides so to have some boundaries. The moon spirit knows you badly need that.
Your pair is on the lead when you reach your fourth doughnut. For the first time since this game started, you felt comfortable. Did you stay like that for the entire game? Of course not. Naturally, the universe just loves aggravating you tonight. 
Half way through your fourth doughnut, you accidentally brushed lips with Seokjin. The action was absolutely brief, but it was enough to halt you two and send tingles that you would feel throughout your body down to the tips of your toes. You two stared at each other for a second too long because Luna was announcing Team Rocket to have taken the lead. You two couldn’t care less though. For the third time tonight, all you could focus on is each other. 
Wide eyes filled with something you two are too embarrassed to accept, lips slightly molding into shy smiles, and faces covered with icing and powdered sugar. In that moment, you two seemed to have some sort of self understanding that didn’t need to be said.
The moment didn’t last though. As brief as your little kiss was, you two were back at the game instantaneously. The other pair seemed to have gotten past you two as well. With a new found comfortness, you find yourselves working together without anymore awkwardness. You were back to your old competitive selves. You gobbled up the doughnuts at a jaw dropping speed. All that matters now, is winning especially since Team Rocket is advancing to the finals. The two of you didn’t even bat an eye when your lips would unintentionally touch a couple of times in your haste. You certainly weren’t complaining about it now. As a matter of fact, you felt him linger a few times. So were they really unintentional? We would never know.
You amazingly caught up with the last pair even with a few cheeky antics on the side. The two of you are currently on top of the world and just breezing through. For sure, you would end up beating them. There is no need to worry about anything. 
What sealed the deal was when one person of the remaining pair mildly choked at a particularly large chunk that she had swallowed. You two took that opportunity to finish up your fifth and final doughnut. You swallowed for the last time and cheered for your partner to finish chewing. Everyone else was completely yelling at this point, it was such a euphoric feeling. Once Seokjin finished, you went and engulfed the larger man as best as you could in a bone crushing hug.
You two were all laughs, happily celebrating even if you haven’t won yet. “We are so going to come home with that prize.” You declared with such finality while you break away from the hug. You kept each other very close though.
“Oh yeah? You’re not gonna freak out on me again?” He teased you but you can’t help but just hit him. 
“Only if you keep yourself in check.” You playfully replied. You fell into a comfortable silence, once again staring at each other with shy smiles. His eyes dropped to your lips for a second and you felt compelled to lean in. When he realised what you were allowing him to do, he leaned in too. You were slowly leaning towards each other, taking your sweet time and savoring every second of it. Your lips were pretty much fully touching, you could feel the warmth and softness of his.
“You’re lucky that chick choked up.” James, whatever his real name is, from Team Rocket woefully stepped into your moment. It took every fibre in you to not punch the guy. 
“She’s obviously inexperienced. Couldn’t be me!” Jessie quipped and they both started laughing together. This time, it took every fibre in you to not bash their heads together. But as mentioned before, you are a woman of honour. You are willing to take the higher road and settle this fairly through the games.
Seokjin, well, he is Seokjin so he didn’t let the two slide so easily.
He let go of you and approached the two. He laughed along with them in such a forced and sarcastic laugh that it pained you. “Yeah, you’re right. We are lucky!” He said then squished himself in between the couple and placed his arms around them. What on earth is he on about, now?
“We definitely were just born lucky. But at least we’re not like other people who are only lucky to be born. Right, hotmen?” He said and slapped their arms in a playful manner but ended up being too hard. He left them completely offended, sauntering back to you with his windshield wiper laugh that you know all too well.
"Was that necessary?" You scolded him with both hands on your hips.
"Don't be such a Katara! I know you're dressed as her but please don't take it too seriously. Unless you really do want to be a sugar queen?" He wagged his eyebrows irritatingly. 
You rolled your eyes at his usual foolishness. Glad to know he hasn't gotten fully soft on you. You would prefer for him to stick to his playfulness even if it annoys the crap out of you.
"And then there were two." Jimin starts, grabbing everyone's attention. Yeah just two left and it just had to be with Team Rocket. Oh, it would feel even better to win knowing you were up against them.
You were one step closer from a satisfying free full course meal cooked by Jimin and Luna's parents. Is that heaven or what? In the middle of fantasising and practically drooling about the impending prize, it dawned on you that once you win, (Yes, once and not if) you'd have to go on that dinner with Seokjin. An actual dinner. As in a date???
The thought made you slightly pale. You don't get why the thought of going on a date with him made you all nervous when you were practically stealing kisses from each other just awhile ago. The idea of going serious with him is nerve-wracking when just this evening, you wanted nothing more than to punch his guts. Now, you still do want to punch his guts but also kiss him. 
You needed to snap out of it. All you did tonight is think of this guy. You were probably overthinking things. He probably doesn't even want anything serious with you. Maybe, he's just playing with you. Wait, no. That's too cruel even for him.
Your internal battle was stopped when Seokjin, himself, flicked your forehead.
"Oww! What was that for?" You grumply asked as you rubbed the sore spot.
"Your brain seems to be flying a couple hundred miles away. Y/n, now is not the time to be daydreaming about me. Did you even catch what I said?" Is he a mind reader? Most definitely not but even so, you are too embarrassed to say anything so you quietly hummed to him.
"What do you think? You agree with me?" You absentmindedly hummed again.
He clapped his hands together so loud, it made you jump out of your haze. "Good! That settles it. You're bobbing then." 
"I'm sorry, come again?" You think you misheard him but it sounded like he said you're going bobbing? As in bobbing apples? What?
He stared at your dumbfounded expression. He realised that you weren't listening to the siblings' explanation and you obviously weren't also listening to his plan of attack just a few seconds ago.
He sighed and repeated everything to you even if he didn't want to. "We're bobbing apples for the last game. Since I don't want to ruin my perfectly good scar, you're up for it." 
You scoffed. "And I want to ruin my perfectly good hair and makeup?"
"Hair dries off and without your makeup, you're still Katara. I, on the other hand, would just be some random handsome firebender without my scar. So really, it's better that you do it."
"But I don't want to do it!"
"Well boo hoo for you. You already agreed to it." He said and dragged you towards a large basin near Jimin and Luna.
"Wait, no I wasn't fully aware of the situation!"
"That's what you get for zoning out at a crucial time. It's too late now, you already agreed. A consent is a consent."
He was seriously being mean right now. You pulled your arm back to stop him but he wouldn't let go of you. So you kept your feet planted firmly on the ground. It ended up looking like he was dragging a very stubborn kid. "Y/n quit playing around! You need to do this."
"But Seokjin, I really don't want to do this." Your innocent looking eyes paired with that same whining voice that you used when you didn't make your first shot with the bean bag instantly turned him soft. 
He stopped pulling you and placed a hand on your neck. The way he is genuinely looking at you makes you think that he'll probably switch with you. He didn't. Big shocker.
"Y/n, I know you don't want to do it but you need to." He started using that gentle voice of his that he used on you earlier. You knew you were a goner now. He's definitely found your weakness and he isn't afraid to use it on you. Curse him and his captivating soothing voice. What are you supposed to do now other than obey him?
"I, without a doubt, believe that you can do this. I'm sure you can defeat those two wobbuffets over there and we'd win! Don't you want that?" You nod your head yes.
"So will you please do me the favour of winning this game for us?" You nod your head yes without thinking twice. So much for being a woman of honour.
He smiled at you and caressed his thumb over your cheek. "Good girl." He said and you'll be damned if you're not going to do whatever it takes for him to call you that again. Forget everything. You want him to call you that again.
That is why you find yourself involuntarily walking up to the water and apple filled basin assigned to you. 
"Step aside, filth." Seokjin jokingly muttered at James from Team Rocket. You hear Jimin and Luna giggle but you were too out of it to even appreciate his Zuko reference. 
To your left, Jessie stands in front of her basin. She gives you a sly smirk and winks at you condescendingly. You want to burn your eyeballs. 
You can't believe you're in this position. You can't believe you would willingly let your hair, makeup, and quite possibly even your costume get ruined. Lastly, you can't believe at just how much power Seokjin has had over you in a single night.
You stared hard at the apples. You've only bobbed for apples once when you were nine and it was one of the worst things you've ever done. You weren't even able to successfully capture an apple with how bad you were. Well, you're back more than ten years later and you're back with a newly found determination. Vengeance will be yours.
You hear Luna count down from three.
Seokjin's "Good girl" rang inside your head. No one's letting this magenta haired girl beside you win. You gripped the sides of the basin hard. Alright apples, it's time to face your doom!
"...One and go!" 
Inhaling a sharp breath, you plunge your face inside the deep basin. You tried to keep your eyes open to see the apples but it was proving to be difficult as light was barely passing through the metal basin. Nonetheless, you kept biting around until you reached one apple. You tossed it outside the basin and took another breath, repeating the same actions. 
You don't know how many times you did your little routine. All you know is that this is the longest minute of your life and you just want it to end so much. You were having such a miserable time. Your snot, your saliva, and even your sweat too were mixing with the water. Even though you avoid it so badly, you still manage to drink the water in your haste. Some of it even got inside your nose at one point. Bobbing for apples just might be one of the most disgusting things you could ever do. This must bloody well be worth it in the end.
Everytime you come out of the water, you hear the cheers of the people. You most certainly hear your partner, ear piercingly shrieking your name. It further feeds into your hunger to win. You don't care if you look absolutely ridiculous or that you were probably gonna end up throwing up later. All that matters is to win this for you and Seokjin.
At long last, Jimin blows an air horn to dramatically end the game. You came up gasping and snorting for air. How fucking graceful and beautiful. Seokjin rushes to you with a towel in his hand and wraps it around you right away. He pats you dry, careful to not smudge your very wet makeup. 
Luna began making a speech on how much fun this year's Halloween Olympics were. You didn't pay much attention to her as Seokjin kept murmuring words of affirmation while he was still gently patting you dry. In all honesty, you could've done that yourself. But after what you were just subjected to, you definitely could use a little pampering.
"Again, thank you to everyone who participated in the games. As for the rest, you've been absolutely wonderful, cheering our players. Until next year's Halloween Olympics!" Luna concluded. Well, they did more than cheer, alright.
"And now, let's count the apples these lovely ladies bobbed so we can find out this year's victors!" Jimin continued and everyone counted magenta head's apples with him.
"Twelve apples in total!" Everyone cheered wildly and you felt your heart clench. That's a lot. What if you had less?
"Twelve?? Ha! Suck on that!" James ridiculed.
Seokjin just glared at him and he grabbed hold of one of your hands. He squeezed it tightly as everyone started counting your apples. Oh please be higher than twelve, please be higher than twelve, please be higher than twelve, please, oh please, oh please.
"Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen!"
"A grand total of eighteen apples! Wow that's a lot more! Which means we have this year's victors!" Jimin announced.
Eighteen? You bobbed six more apples than her? Wow, your nine year old self would be proud of you now.
Seokjin couldn't contain himself, he grabbed you by your waist and lifted you up in an embrace. "Y'all hear that? My girl just beat your asses badly! Suck on my poké balls!" He finally cracked and straight up insulted Team Rocket while still holding you up. You ignored the sickly sweet feeling that bubbled inside you when he referred to you as “my girl”.
"You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!" Instead of a maniacal laugh, his windshield wiper laugh came out. The punchline was already perfect if only his stupid laugh didn't ruin it. As annoying as it is, you didn’t seem to be complaining about his laugh now in your head unlike always. Actually, it’s kind of endearing in a way. Crazy to think just how much one night can change. You wonder what happens now to the two of you.
Jimin and Luna called the both of you up on their makeshift stage to properly announce your rain of terror- I mean, your victory. Along with that, they are also going to announce the winner for best in costume. With all the action that’s been happening, people have forgotten that the awarding for best in costume is actually the main event of the night.
As Seokjin predicted earlier, you didn’t win. Some guy, Jung something something, dressed up as Shrek won by popular voting. You think he is also a part of Jimin’s friend group. You can’t be too sure as there are too many guys in that circle of friends for you to care. Which leads you to believe that maybe Jimin did some rigging of the results because his Shrek costume kinda deserves to be kicked out of the swamp. Not that you care though. As far as you’re concerned, you already won the grand prize as well.
“Told ya, you wouldn’t win best costume.” Seokjin says as you leave the stage. 
“Neither did you. All because your scar is definitely on the wrong side.” 
He groaned loudly. “You’re never gonna drop that, aren’t you?”
You laugh, thinking just how stupid he is for messing up his scar. For someone who seems to be able to quote directly from the show with ease, it’s really funny that he would overlook such a crucial detail. 
“Neverrr!” You said in a singsong voice.
“Whatever.” He said while waving his hand in a dismissing manner. “It’s not like anyone else noticed it. I guess you were paying too much attention to my face, huh?”
You blushed at his remark. “Jeez, get over yourself, will you?” 
You rushed your steps towards the house to leave him. You are sure Jimin and Luna are now tearing it down on the dance floor. He easily caught up with you though with those long legs of his and draped an arm over your shoulders.
Cackling at your flusteredness, he said, “Okay, then! So let’s say you weren’t gawking at me the entire time for you to notice my mistake.”
You hummed at him.
“Then I guess the only explanation why people seem to have failed to notice is because of my handsome face! They are too distracted by my beauty to notice my misplaced scar. Don’t you agree?” You elbowed him hard and left his yelping, laughing ass. What a weirdo. You giddily smiled though.
The rest of the night went by pretty fast. It was filled with dancing and laughing with people you know and don’t know. You even got to hang out a little bit with Team Rocket. You wouldn’t say you’d become friends with them but they aren’t all that bad. 
The only missing thing though is that you didn’t share any more “personal” moments with Seokjin. He disappeared off with his group of friends after you left him. Not that you were fully expecting anything to happen, but you were slightly disappointed. Luna was quite chill about it at the start. She was probably wanting to discuss it in private. You know, for your own sake. But as she got tipsier and tipsier until she was full on drunk, she was practically squealing about it every few seconds. Hence, why you decided to socialise with other people which you would never do. Honestly, what is going on tonight and who are you even?
After the party, you remained to clean up. But Jimin told you that none of you would have to deal with the mess right now. He understands that everyone is completely knackered at this point. There were still a few people left but he ushered you to go home now. He assured you that he could deal with them and his hammered sister. 
With that, you said thanks and hugged each other goodbye. 
Walking out of their house, you thought back to earlier when you were thoroughly convinced to stay at home. You wonder how things would be if you had stayed. You would have totally missed out on so much! But you also wonder what would happen now. It seemed like Seokjin was unmistakably giving you the vibes that he likes you. You were too. So why did he suddenly vanish?
“You want me to walk you home?” A very familiar voice said from behind you. Ah, speak of the devil.
You faced him and smiled a little too big of a smile. “You live in the complete opposite direction. What are you talking about?”
He chuckled and made his way to you. “I was just thinking, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you walk home all by yourself at 2 in the morning?”
He stopped a few feet in front of you. You find yourself a bit irritated with the distance between you two. You wanted to be a bit closer than that so you made the move to get nearer to him. “I think I can handle myself pretty well.” You said as you approached him until you were inches away from him.
“Oh, I’m sure you can.” 
There was a brief moment of silence that fell between you. It wasn’t at all awkward or anything unpleasant. Actually, it was the complete opposite. You were just drinking everything in.
“Surprisingly, I had heaps of fun tonight. I never thought I would ever say that in the company of Kim Seokjin.” You said in a hush tone. You don’t know why you were speaking in such a way. The entire moment just seemed too delicate.
“I told you, you need to put a little faith in me, sugar queen.” He whispered. You smile at the term of endearment he had given you tonight due to your Katara outfit.
“I think I already have.” You said and his face started inching down towards yours.
Just the mere thought of finally getting to properly kiss him released thousands of butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to rush him to finally feel his lips but at the same time, you wanted to drag this moment as long as you possibly can. If someone told you this morning that you would be having these thoughts as you were about to kiss Kim Seokjin tonight,you’d laugh at their face. You’d probably also tell them that you’d rather slam your tongue in a car door.
He took his time with you, also wanting to milk every second of this moment. There was no need to rush anything. He was literally ghosting his lips against yours. He was probably teasing you. It annoyed you so much. So much so that you made the executive decision to take full control of the situation. You made the move to press your lips against his but before you could, someone walked out of the house and started yelling towards you two.
“SEOKJIN HYUUUUUNG!” A guy dressed up as Snoopy literally yeeted himself between you two and placed an arm around him. What is everyone’s deal with interrupting you two? At this point, it’s like the universe is telling you a sign or something. Wait, what?
You frown at the thought you just had. It’s a stupid thought. But then why are you having this sinking feeling inside you?
“Hoseok, for the last time, I’m walking home. I live just two blocks away. I don’t have a car to drive you home.” He told the guy, obviously exasperated just like you.
Hoseok started whining and arguing at the older guy. It’s clear that he was dead drunk. You wouldn’t try to argue with him right now. Seems pointless since everything will fly over his head.
“But why walk when you can drive???”
“Hoseok-ah! You’re really gonna ask Seokjin hyung to get you home when I’m here?” Another guy came out of the house. You turned to the voice and saw Yoongi approaching, dressed up as Garfield. You’re friends with him because he seemed to be the closest to Seokjin so you see him more often than not.
Hoseok immediately let go of Seokjin and went to hold on to Yoongi. Yoongi seemed to be in a rush to get home. Can’t blame him. It’s really late and it’s been a long night. So he said goodbye right away. But before they could leave, he turned to you.
“Before I forget, by the way, Taehyung wanted me to tell you to call him. He said you haven’t been replying to him all night. I think he wants to take you out later.” He made a fast but pointed stare towards Seokjin when he said the last part. It seemed like his way of telling him to do something about it. You didn’t notice though.
“Oh, okay. Thanks Yoongi. Good night and drive safely!” 
With that, the two went off.
Another silence fell between you two. This time though, it wasn’t as comfortable. You didn’t know whether to continue off from where you got interrupted and how to continue. The both of you looked like you were in deep thought. 
Taehyung. You completely forgot about him. Now, you feel really bad and shameful.
You notice Seokjin pulling something from his trousers that appeared to be two small envelopes. That’s probably your prize. 
He held them both and looked at them for a few seconds. “I want to ask you something.” He started, not looking you in the eyes. He’s nervous. Is he going to ask you on a date? Well, that just made you nervous. 
“Yeah?” 
He didn’t say anything for a while. You watch him clearly having some sort of argument with himself. It felt like an eternity when he finally looked you directly in your eyes.
“Y/n, I want to-” Once again, he got cut off. Maybe the universe really is saying something here.
Your phone started ringing. It was Taehyung, calling you. 
“I...You should answer that.” He instructed you. You should. But you didn’t make the move to. Your eyes switched back and forth from your phone to Seokjin a couple times. You were completely torn and didn’t know what to do. 
You were just going to answer his call. What’s the big deal about that? It’s not like he knew everything that happened and was supposed to happen between you and Seokjin. It’s not like he was going to chastise you for all of that.
Before you pressed the answer button, the call dropped and you became tense. 
Seokjin sensed your inner turmoil. He didn’t like seeing you like this. But he thought that this was becoming too much to handle right now. He looks at the envelopes he is holding. Sighing, he can’t believe he is about to do this.
He reached out both envelopes towards you. “Here, take them both.”
“What? Why?”
“Take Taehyung with you.” You could not believe what you were hearing right now. To say you were dumbfounded is an understatement.
Seeing as you made no move to get them, he took your free hand and placed the envelopes in your grasp.
“Listen, it’s bad enough that Taehyung didn’t get to enjoy the night. I think it’s only fair if he went with you.” 
“But you worked hard for this too. It was a team effort between us.” You told him, still not understanding why he would give up the prize just like that when he was so adamant to win them the entire night.
“I know. But it’s fine, really. Don’t worry, I could always find a way to get free food from Jimin. Besides, you deserve to spend some time with your Aang.”
You still didn’t fully understand the situation at hand. But it appears that he is not going to let you go until you accept the prize from him.
You finally conceded and pocketed the envelopes.
“It’s getting late. We should really go home. It’s been one hell of a tiring night.” You nodded at his statement. 
“Thanks for being an amazing partner tonight, Y/n. I genuinely enjoyed every single moment of it.”
“Me too, Seokjin. Me too.”
You wanted to hug him. But he didn’t make any other move. He was clearly just waiting for you to leave. You thought, maybe this isn’t the right time with him. With all the interruptions and should haves tonight, it’s most likely for the best to leave things here.
With a heavy heart, you gave him one final look and said goodbye. With an equally heavy heart, he watched you leave and disappear down the street.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Jimin’s sudden appearance from the front door made Seokjin jump.
“Yah! Couldn’t you have been a bit more careful?” He asked the younger boy while placing a hand over his chest to calm himself down.
Jimin paid no attention whatsoever to his agony. “You deserve to spend some time with your Aang.” He mocked Seokjin. “What on earth were you thinking?”
“I don’t want to- hang on. You were listening to our conversation???” Seokjin felt violated. Does this boy not know the meaning of privacy? First he kept interrupting you two all night then now he eavesdrops on your conversation and has the audacity to mock Seokjin.
Jimin did not feel nor look like he regretted what he had done. If anything, he looks really mad at Seokjin. “That’s besides the point. The point is, why are you just letting her go? You already had her!” 
“No, I don’t think I ever had her to begin with. I mean, come on! She went dressed up as Katara and I’m dressed as Zuko. I think it was never meant to be.”
Feeling utterly frustrated, Jimin rubbed his face harshly. He had half the mind to take off his boots and impale his older best friend with them.
“That’s just bullshit! You’re too superstitious. You don’t listen to these signs! You take matters to your own hands.”
Seokjin knew that Jimin wouldn’t understand his point of view. He’s the type of person to chase anything and everything if he so pleases it. Which fair play to him, isn’t a bad thing. But that’s not how Seokjin rolls.
“Listen, you won’t understand me.” Seokjin started and Jimin openly agreed with him. “All I’m saying is if it’s not your time, then it’s not your time. You need to accept that and patiently wait. I did what I had to do tonight.”
Jimin did not respond to him. Truthfully, he does get what Seokjin is trying to explain. He does not agree with it at all though and still thinks it’s bullshit. But he can’t really do anything other than to support his stupid best friends and to let them learn things on their own. When that happens, he’ll for sure throw another party.
“Wow. Just wow. That’s rough, buddy.” Is all he can reply to Seokjin. 
Indeed it was.
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youtiaoshutiao · 4 years
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传闻中的陈芊芊 thoughts
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i haven’t been very active lately but i just came on to say, i binged on the romance of tiger and rose / 传闻中的陈芊芊 and have 2 eps left and i love it SO SO MUCH. i was expecting some pure crack but beyond that, i really ended up catching much feels for it?
and i think beyond the outlandish hilarity of some of the scenes and the cheeky meta, it’s actually a pretty decent drama with its plot and character motivations largely dictated by logic. i have to commend the scriptwriter nan zhen 南镇 for the entire set up of the drama (and it’s her original script!!! which is so rare in the industry nowadays run over by book adaptations - i mean i love those too but i still think it’s an easy way out for production companies when they adapt books with established fan bases). it’s actually really clever of her because all plot holes/flaws in world building can easily be attributed to xiaoqian’s lousy scriptwriting abilities?
i really did become quite impressed with the plot as the episodes progressed haha. the conflict and plot thickens as xiaoqian, now as qianqian, with the mindset that she’s not part of this story at all and that she’s interacting with a bunch of characters on paper, continues to engineer plot machinations trying to steer the plot in the right direction to get to the end so she can return back to the real world. and you slowly see how that just devolves into complete chaos and plot twists when surprise! she IS part of the story, she IS interacting with these characters and they are influenced by what she says and does! so you have her original male lead hanshuo, destined for the female lead chuchu, falling in love instead with her and changing his entire plan because of that. you have chuchu, the original female lead, slowly growing more unhinged as she perceives qianqian’s actions and words as callous and uncaring and outrightly antagonistic towards herself and as her resentment builds when everyone seems to shower affection and attention on qianqian still.
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adding on to that is, how xiaoqian as a scriptwriter views and perceives her characters? some characters like hanshuo, she clearly constructed with much care and love, as seen by how she knows exactly how to make hanshuo happy and doesn’t want to upset him in the initial episodes (which caused him to fall for her like a devoted puppy). yet it seems like she either didn’t grasp fully their character motivations/personality/how their character is moulded by their backgrounds? which is why she probably didn’t see how the inherent difference with which her mother treats qianqian vs chuchu would lead to jealousy and resentment seeping in and poisoning chuchu’s heart. and her visualising han shuo as a murderous calculating career-driven male lead aka the male lead of eastern palace clearly runs contrary to how he is total putty and has barely hurt a fly ever since he fell in love with qianqian.
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and there are characters too like her mother that she originally clearly just wrote in as characters to steer the plot forward, and in-world, she is clearly stricken when she realises how they have emotions and hidden depths beyond what she fathomed - like when her and her mother had that semi HTHT after she stole the dragon bone and her mum stayed by her bedchamber to watch over her all night. and another example would be su ziying - she’s so happy to see him when he appears as in that moment she’s viewing him from the lens of the scriptwriter of this story and she knows he’s going to push the plot forward. but seeing him and his actions actually playing out - she gets irritated by what he does and also his actions actually do end up affecting her, because she is in the story too!!!
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and moving on from that, as the plot further progresses, another spanner is thrown into the mix when she realises that male lead is really really in love with her! and would give up everything for her! and... she too is in love with him!! and this changes things too because while initially all her actions were to push the plot to move forward the way she originally wrote it so that she can head back, now she’s actively trying to push back against the flow of events, as she’s now emotionally invested in this and doesn’t want the male lead to die as per her original script.
the play out of all these was really really entertaining and gripping to watch?? i was legitimately bowled over by how affected i was when all the angst came in, because it really felt like it made sense amidst all the crack and was well set up? and throughout it all, the actions of all the main players in the plot made sense and were logical, even the secondary leads chuchu and peiheng. haha idek if i’m ascribing too much credit to this whole plot, maybe it’s really just meant to be a cracky fun time and i’m too into it HAHA.
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there’s also the set up of huayuan city being a matriarchal society where basically the roles of women and men are reversed. it is really v trippy!!! and An Experience to see scenes like men being harrassed by women, people tittering at other men for not being covered up enough in public, wares that can increase your chances of birthing a female heir being peddled on the streets. initially i was kind of apprehensive as to how it was going to play out. now at ep 22 where they’ve gone to xuanhu city which is patriarchal the conversation regarding gender roles and gender equality is continuing!! but i shall reserve my thoughts and comments till the entire arc plays out.
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but beyond all that, the drama is just so much fun fun funnnnn!!!! i loveddddd seeing how this drama about a scriptwriter getting stuck in her own script had scenes interspersed with storytellers on the street retelling qianqian’s exploits and qianqian’s regular meetups with the storytellers/opera writers to discuss how the plot of the drama was going or even the scene where hanshuo and peiheng went to the opera house for their male lead showdown and the opera characters were there saying all the rude things they wanted to say to each other. such fun meta?? breaking the fourth wall?? satire?? idek LOL i just know i enjoyed it thoroughly
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and lastly, apart from all the thinky thinky stuff, i’m thoroughly charmed by the otp HAHA. i loveeeee qianqian so much and zhao lusi is soo effortlessly adorable and natural and charming in this role that i can totally see why everyone from han shuo to her mother is enamoured by her. i actually am really curious also to see how qianqian before xiaoqian transmigrated into her body was like - seeing how her servant didn’t seem to have any whiplash from an extreme change in personality suggest that maybe qianqian wasn’t all that different from xiaoqian?? and probably might not have been that spoilt/callous/havoc-wreaking as everyone perceives her to be?
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and han shuo too is SO entertaining and funny and darling - when he first came to huayuan city he’s all “i’m cunning and smart and i’m going to MANIPULATE EVERYBODY for my/xuan hu city’s benefit” and “i want chen qianqian to die with ten thousand arrows through her heart!! i want her to be stabbed by knives three thousand times!! not a single time less!!!” and “do you think i don’t dare to kill you?!”. then he falls in love with her and instantly he’s all puppy eyes and utter devotion. IT’S DELICIOUS. ding yuxi really makes staring at your FL like she’s the only one in the world an art form. and as one comment on a bilibili mv said regarding han shuo’s supposed bloodlust, “han shuo, up to this point you’ve only killed one horse” HAHA
(keep in mind that it’s not even that han shuo ordered the killing of this horse, it was his subordinate that killed it on his behalf, and han shuo was Not Happy about it after that!)
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together the otp are even more adorable!!! it’s teeth rotting fluff but yet it comes off very earnest and adorable without being cloying. i was literally clutching my heart and grinning at the screen dopily at some scenes. and even though the otp dynamic and character setups are not really the same, the way the two of them bicker and act like children around each other kind of remind me of yongqi and xiaoyanzi from hzgg for some reason lol.
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and apart from the otp, there are a whole host of supporting characters that are really very funny and adorable and entertaining to watch haha. special shoutout to both han shuo and qianqian’s subordinates who are HILARIOUS and plain Done with their masters’ nonsense (especially bai ji who really just wants to get shit done okay!! but his master just keeps on wanting to fall in love and date!!) there’s also qianqian’s older sister yuanyuan who is disabled and on a wheelchair, and with a sad yet somehow hilarious penchant for writing multiple drafts of her will. and her otp, su mu, a courtesan (yes the courtesans in this city are all male).
honestly i’m not sure where i’m going with this, i just briefly scanned through what i’ve written so far and lol seems like paragraphs of illogical incoherent rambling. I’m sorry it’s 5am over here i’m not really thinking straight T_T i just have a lot of feels for this drama okay ;_____;
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eyeofthedrgn · 3 years
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Hello! I have been a lurker on Tumblr for a few months now. I love ACOTAR, and Throne of Glass. I just finished Red, White & Royal Blue (which I am desperately in love with).
I am absolute trash for Nessian and Elorcan. Then I discovered crackships and now I can get enough Rowcan and Chaorian, and there isn't enough of it.
I am not a great writer, but I felt compelled to start my own story after binge reading as many of my ships as I possibly could from so many of you awesome writers and creatives out there.
It is a Rowcan fic set in a modern high school AU. Lorcan lives with his mentally and physically abusive Aunt Maeve and her boyfriend, James Perrington. When they move to Orynth, he meets Rowan and everything Lorcan thought he knew about life gets thrown upside down.
It is full of angst and is full of triggers: language, mental abuse, physical abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, self-esteem issues, sexual abuse (alluded to briefly in later chapters), just a lot of trauma, and smut, lots of lovely gay smut.
I am not nice. But don't worry, there is fluff! Though, it's usually surrounded by angst, so my bad.
Here is a few paragraphs from chapter 1:
Chapter 1
Lorcan Salvaterre has had a pretty shitty life for only being 17. He's been to so many different schools, he doesn't remember them all. His mother died long ago, he didn't have a father, and he was then forced to live with his despicable Aunt Maeve when he was five. Lorcan didn't remember his mother anymore, all he knew was the cruelty of his aunt and her boyfriend, James Perrington.
Maeve's job required them to move every few months. Which meant his schooling was rather poor and often overlapped from school to school. He was always the loner and easily overlooked, at least until his growth spurt last year that catapulted him to be six and half feet tall.
He'd never had a friend in his life. No one would ever want to be friends with him in the first place. He always had a scowl on his face, wore black, long black hair, head down, his skin was a beautiful deep olive, his eyes dark as onyx. He was rather strange. And since his growth spurt, his hulking frame kept everyone away.
He never smiled, he rarely talked. To anyone. Not that he had much to say. He had no hobbies, no pleasures. All he was allowed to do in this meaningless life were chores, his homework, and lay in his room staring at the ceiling.
The way Lorcan had grown up was brutal. There were beatings for not finishing chores, misbehaving, or most of the time, just existing. He never got three meals a day, on the very rare occasion, he would get a small dinner, but generally, the only meal was usually lunch at school or when they were traveling. Even then, Maeve would order the smallest meal for the boy, gods forbid she had to spend more money on him than necessary or look bad in front of people.
That also meant that if he needed new clothes or something for school, he had to work extra for it. A lot of the time, he felt like a severely more abused Cinderella. His aunt made him do some of the most tedious chores in payment for his necessities.
The chores he could handle, sometimes they were even relaxing. The beatings on the other hand were less than desirable. Especially when most of the abuse wasn't even a result of Lorcan's supposed incompetency. But every beating was recorded in Lorcan's journal and accompanied by self harm.
Lorcan's mental health was far from healthy. He wished he had the courage to slice his wrists deeper, but if he failed to finish the job, he couldn't imagine how Maeve would react and what she would make Perrington do to him. So, he settled for the scars.
His wrists and forearms were covered in scars. Every shirt he had was long sleeved to cover his coping habit. He didn't want questions or people staring, he hated being pitied. Honestly, he hated pretty much everything.
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Thank you for reading! I'll post the whole chapter soon. Constructive criticism is accepted. I do feel like it gets better as the chapters progress.
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