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hanoella · 3 years

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Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 8)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence, PTSD, PG-17 Romantic Content (oooooh), talk of sex

Part 8 Word Count: Just under 8k

A/N: It's starting to heat uppppppp👀. I always sort and curate the music so that you can listen to the music as you read the story and match the tone, starting from where I insert the song. Unfortunately, tumblr is being idiotic, and now I can't post the songs to play in-app for some reason. Sorry guys😭 If you haven't given it a try, I highly recommend!

Once again, thank you for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful.

Taglist!: @vicmc624 @officiallykuute @undiadeestos @tailsoflightning @buckys2thicc @mischief-siriusly-managed

Winter

Bucky looked in the mirror nervously, mussing his hair up. It was a bit longer than when he had first come to Louisiana, and he had been overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices when it came to men’s hair products. He thought it looked okay, using the man on the front of the packaging as reference. It was a good thing you two were taking your car. He wasn’t sure if his work would’ve survived the motorcycle helmet. Glancing over the rest of his ensemble, he gave himself a nod of assurance. It was concert weekend, and also the day you were going on your first date. After contemplating on when to go, you had suggested a late night dinner after that weeks second concert and Bucky had thought it was a fine idea at the time. Though, now, he realized that he would have to sit through the concert first.

He picked up the bouquet of flowers he had gotten with the hair product the other day and headed to the door. Before leaving, he bent down to pet a sleepy Alpine, who was currently dozing peacefully in the last rays of the sun for the day.

“Wish me luck.” He said to the cat, who purred in response.

He left and crossed the driveway to your house. Knocking on your screen door, he waited expectantly.

“Come in!” He heard you call from inside.

He opened the screen door and crossed the threshold. He’d done it plenty of times before, but this time felt different. Seeing that the living room and kitchen were empty, he headed down the hall to your bedroom, where the light was filtering out of. Cautiously opening the door, he saw you sitting at the vanity, dressed in your typical rehearsal outfit of a blouse and slacks, and putting on the final touches to your makeup. You blinked to adjust to the mascara and turned towards him, a smile spreading across your cheeks.

“Hey!” You stood up to hug him and then take him in. “You look great, Buck.”

“Thanks, you too.” He replied, still coming across rather stiff from the nervousness. You looked up at him, slightly amused but keeping it to yourself. After a moment of gazing at your features that were complemented by the makeup you had just put on, Bucky cleared his throat and gifted you the bouquet.

“Oh, these are beautiful. Thank you so much.” You said as you admired the large white peonies, accented by bundles of pink hydrangeas and various types of eucalyptus. A green satin bow held the stems together as you felt the velvety petals between your fingertips. You grabbed his hand afterwards and squeezed it as you held the bouquet to your chest. “Thank you,” you repeated as you looked up at him. Bucky felt slightly more at ease, giving you a small but genuine smile.

“Of course.”

You set the bundle down gently before going over to your bed and unzipping the garment bag and holding the dress out for him to see.

“Is this too much to wear for the concert and then dinner? I figured I’d dress a little simpler so I don’t stand out too much at the restaurant.”

Bucky stepped closer and touched the luxurious navy blue fabric. The dress was cut so that it had a slight halter neckline, exposing minimal shoulder. It wasn’t until he saw the bottom end of the dress that he caught a glimpse of what you normally liked to wear. Flowers and greenery adorned the bottom half of the skirt, detailed in such a way that it looked like they had been painted right on the dress. The soft pastel brushstrokes formed rounded petals and long wispy leaves.

“It’ll look great on you.” He said with affection in his tone. “But you don’t have to change anything for me. All the gowns that you wore before looked great too, but what really makes them is the fact that you’re wearing them.”

It was your turn to blush, turning slightly to try and hide the pink on your face. You thanked him softly before excusing yourself to the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. As you were filling the vase with water, you held your hand to your cheek in an effort to cool down your face. Coming back to your room, you put the flowers in water and turned to Bucky, who had sat himself down on the edge of the bed.

“Ready to go?”

---

Bucky sat on the green velvet couch in your dressing room, reading something on his phone as he listened to the rustling behind the room divider behind him.

“How do I look?” You asked, coming out from behind the divider and into the room. You were dressed in the gown from earlier, now with black flats and earrings that mimicked flower petals falling in the wind. You had decided on a more romantic look for your hair, settling on large loose waves, one side pinned back with a dainty silver bar clip.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“Beautiful.”

Who knew one word could give you such a fluttering in your stomach.

“Thank you.”

You sat next to him, folding one leg underneath of you and leaning against the couch, facing him.

“Are you going to be okay up in that box all by your lonesome?” you teased, reaching across and grabbing the tips of his fingers with yours.

“I hope so. I’ve got a date tonight.” He replied playfully. He always felt so warm, so comforting. You looked at him with affection before your eyes flitted to the clock behind him.

“I should probably get to the stage.” You sighed while you said it, reluctantly starting to get up and pull your hand away. Before you could completely escape his grasp, he squeezed your hand slightly.

“You’ll do great. See you after?” His look was slightly reminiscent of a puppy. You smiled wistfully and squeezed his hand back.

“See you after.”

You separated in the hall, you going one way to the stage and him going the other way to the box. Before he stepped inside, he realized he didn’t have a program. He made his way to the front and found an usher with a stack of programs.

“Can I have one of those?” He asked, coming off slightly more gruffly than he meant to.

“Sure, sir.” The usher handed him one and Bucky thanked him before turning. Halfway down the hall, he picked up the whispering of another usher who had come up to the one that had the programs.

“Is that Ms. Novikov’s boyfriend?”

“No way, is that who that was?”

“He always sits in her own personal box. It has to be.”

Boyfriend. Such a funny word. Bucky hadn’t been anyone’s boyfriend in decades. It almost felt silly to be dating somebody. It was like someone blowing all of their money on something they couldn’t afford. It felt reckless to invest so much feeling and time and emotion when he had so little of those things on his own. Yet, what little he had, he gladly spent on you.

“He is so hot. I would just let him-“

Bucky’s eyes widened as he heard several terms he didn’t understand. Clearing his throat, he walked a little faster back to the box.

---

You had laughed so hard that you were crying as Bucky tried to repeat some of the stuff he had overheard. Deciding to check on him during intermission, you had popped up to the box for a minute. After complimenting you on your playing, having performed what Bucky thought to be amazingly, as you usually did, he couldn’t stop the face he had made as his mind thought back to the usher. Needing to sit down, you had sat in one of the seats in the box, doubled over in a combination of laughing and crying.

“It’s not that funny!” Bucky whisper-yelled at you, as you gasped for breath, face in hands. He turned around to see that the next several boxes were looking over to see what the commotion was. One particular look on an older woman’s shocked face made him turn around quickly and try not to laugh.

“It’s not funny!” He said again, though now he was obviously trying to hold back his own laugh, which just made you laugh even harder.

Starting to calm down, you leaned back onto the seat, still clutching your stomach. Letting out some deep breaths, a burst of giggles fell out of your mouth, evolving into full on laughter again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You said, regaining some semblance and wiping your eyes carefully as to not ruin any makeup. “That is just hilarious. I love it.” You concluded as you sighed and closed your eyes.

“You are just… something else.” Bucky replied, a huge smile overcoming his face despite the fact that he was shaking his head. The lights flickered overhead to signal the end of the intermission. You got up, straightening out the skirt of your dress and giggling.

“You can meet me at the dressing room after.” You said, waving your fingers at him. He had the same smile on his face as he watched you sweep aside the curtains and disappear. As embarrassing as it was, Bucky was thankful that it had broken the ice, no longer leaving him feeling awkward, nervous in your presence. As he was turning back to face the front, Bucky made eye contact with the same old lady in the box next door. Quickly, he cleared his throat and settled in his seat, adjusting so that he was sitting up straighter.

Several minutes went by before the conductor came back out, followed by you. He gave his usual introduction of the piece, explaining the history and the background behind the melody they were about to hear. This one was another piano feature- this time by Chopin.

The opening note was long and forceful, followed by a back and forth of a set of notes on your left hand that quickly sped up into an impressive speed. Your right hand entered the melody, quickly flitting back and forth to the end of the keys. The quickening of the keys sounded desperate, like a hare running frantically to safety from the jaws of a predator.

Both of your hands ran down from the higher keys to the low ones, somehow managing to hit very precisely on each intended note on the way down. Once in the lower octaves, the melody slowed. Your hand movements were graceful, body language and tone changing to one of peace. You spent some time exploring the gentle melody, conveying a feeling similar to the quiet after the storm. Just as Bucky expected the end of the melody, what would’ve been a period in the phrase of the major key, turned into a comma. The minor key from before took control of the music once more, somehow more desperate than before. The pace of your breathing sped up as you put more force behind the fleeting notes. The minor key evolved into a more complex intertwining of notes before unraveling into a major key once again, saying its last words and taking its last breath before dissipating into the auditorium.

Applause burst forth from the crowd, conveying more than Bucky could ever put into words about how incredible your performance was. How incredible you were. Still catching your breath, you stood at the conductor’s prompting, stealing a glance at Bucky, who was standing as he clapped, before bowing in acceptance of the praise.

---

After the concert, he drove you to New Orleans. At the restaurant, you were sat at a table on the edge of the dining room behind a low privacy partition. It was dimly lit, the small candle in the middle of the table creating a very intimate atmosphere. You sat across from each other at the two-person table, browsing the menu. Yours was laid flat on the table as you leaned over it, resting your chin on your clasped hands. Bucky’s was held up, serving as a way for him to sneak glances at you. The candlelight gave your hair an ever-moving sheen. It was nothing compared to how it lit the color of your eyes as you met his eye and smiled.

The romantic piano music played softly in the background as he set the menu down and let a gentle smile overtake his features. Your eyelids slowly lowered. You loved the little crow’s feet that appear by his eyes when he genuinely smiled.

“How’d I do on the first date setting?” You asked. The cozy restaurant had been your pick.

“You hit it out of the park. It’s very nice.” Bucky replied, leaning in a little closer so that he could cross his arms slightly onto the table.

“Isn’t it? There’s a few of them across the country. I used to at the one in New York while I went to Julliard. Can you guess what I did?” You chuckled as you pointed your head in the direction of the live piano music coming from the stage.

“Hmm… Dishwasher? No wait, valet?”

Bucky lives for the smile that comes across your face when you try not to laugh at his antics.

“Absolutely. Always wanted to be a valet. It’s my dream job.” You joked back with a twinkle in your eye. The waiter came up to the table, causing you both to lean slightly back. After introducing themselves and setting two glasses of water down, they asked for your drink order. Bucky nodded for you to go first, ever the gentleman. You turned your head towards the waiter, your gaze lingering on Bucky before giving full attention towards them as you spoke.

“What are some of the best whiskeys you have to recommend?”

Bucky could’ve spit out his water. This place could not be cheap. His suspicions were confirmed as the waiter started listing off various whiskeys that were at least a decade old. About three whiskeys into the list, you saw Bucky tilt his head out of the corner of your eye. Glancing at him, you raised your eyebrows as if to ask if he was interested. He raised his eyebrows and gave a small nod.

“We’ll have that one please.” You said, stopping the waiter when he finished the description. You had selected the sixteen year old single malt with notes of plums, apricots, white truffles, honey, dark chocolate, and hazelnuts. As soon as the waiter turned around, Bucky leaned in and gave you a look of incredulousness.

“Doll, I am all for the finer things in life but that whiskey has got to be a pretty penny.”

You leaned in as well, with a dreamy look on your face.

“Well, if it gets you to call me ‘doll’ then I’ll buy the whole bottle.”

---

Bucky actually did end up liking it so much that you ordered a bottle to take home. He had tried to stop you from paying for it, but you insisted, saying this whole date was on you.

“Just pay for the next one. I picked the fancy place, so I should pay! Besides, you do so much for me all of the time.”

Eventually, he caved in and let you, the assurance of a second date placating him. Dinner had been equally as delicious and sprinkled with easy conversation. Dessert was set on the table with two spoons to share. The entire night was going wonderfully. At this point, with a few bites of dessert left, both of you were lounging while listening to the gentle music as he held your hand across the table.

A group was getting up from the table across the divider when one of them glanced over and recognized you.

“Irina Novikov!”

Your hand left Bucky’s instinctually as you looked in the direction of the voice. Easing when you realized it was a concert goer, you smiled as the group came over to your table.

“We just came from your performance, you did an excellent job. We’ve been coming all season and it’s wonderful to be able to talk to you in person.” A middle aged man said as the rest of his group nodded enthusiastically.

“The pleasure’s all mine. I’m so happy that you enjoy the music that we perform.” You said, shaking his hand.

“Would you, perhaps, be willing to sign our programs?”

“Absolutely.” You said, as you took the pen. You paused slightly before writing the signature. Bucky could tell that you hadn’t thought about it before- how to sign the new name. You signed everyone’s program, making sure to ask for their name and including a short thank you for their support.

“I look forward to seeing you in the audience the next time you’re able to visit.” You said as you handed back the last program and pen. They graciously thanked you and walked away, leaving you to look at Bucky, who was admiring you.

“What?” You asked, cheeks flushing.

“Nothing. You’re just so good to them. Does that happen often?”

“I try to be. I’m sure if I had more people always coming up to me I’d be less patient. To answer your question, it happens occasionally. It happened a lot in New York when I played with the symphony up there. But that was a long time ago.” You looked down wistfully, thinking of the past. Then, you looked up and grabbed his hand.

“But I’m pretty happy where I am now. Don’t doubt that.”

Bucky felt a fluttering in his chest.

After settling the bill and giving Bucky the bottle of whiskey, you put your coat on and held Bucky’s hand as you walked to out of the restaurant. On the way home, he drove as you hummed along to the radio, watching the road signs and the streetlights pass. Eventually the highway turned into main streets and main streets turned into side streets. Maybe if he drove slower, the night didn’t have to end.

Parking in the driveway, Bucky signaled for you to wait before he jogged around the front of the car, opening your door and holding out a hand.

“Oh, what a gentleman.” You laughed as you took his outstretched hand and stepped out of the car. Taking his arm, you let him walk you to your front door. You turned the key and opened the door, turning on the lights before facing him again.

“Well. This was wonderful. I had such a good time.” You said, hugging him around the neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

“Me too.”

You pulled back, letting your hands run down his arms and holding his hands in yours.

“I think it’s safe to say that there will be a second date.” You stated teasingly, squeezing his hands.

“I would say you’re right.” He said, boyish charm coming through. You wondered if this is what he was like back before the war. Smiling, you looked into his eyes.

“Thank you for taking me out. You’re so lovely to be with, and it feels unreal to be with you. I think I’ve wanted this for a long time.” Affection was laced throughout your tone.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out. He squeezed your hands once, as if to make sure you were real, and shook his head.

“You took the words right out of my mouth. That’s exactly how I feel about you.”

There was a slight pause before Bucky closed the gap between you. Your bottom lip was between his and you closed your eyes as your hands held his face to yours. You felt your fingertips scrape across his stubble as he held you in his arms, hands supporting your back as he deepened the kiss. After a few moments, you pulled back, a flush over your face and the cold air exposing your breathlessness. He let out a quiet breathy laugh and you did the same.

“You have… no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He said as he softly put his forehead to yours.

“You took the words right out of my mouth.” You repeated his phrase with amusement. Reluctantly, you took your arms from around his neck and trailed them down to his hands, grabbing both. You took a moment to appreciate how perfectly his hands felt in yours, vibranium and all.

“Goodnight, Buck.”

He squeezed your hands lightly before slowly letting go of your hands.

“Goodnight.”

Putting his hands in his pockets, he waited for you to exit the house, reciprocating your wave as you softly shut the door. Letting out a deep breath, he walked leisurely across the driveway and up to his apartment. He loosened his tie with one hand as he greeted Alpine with the other. She followed at his heels as he got ready for bed, hopping up onto his chest when he finally laid down. Curling up into a ball, she purred as he scratched her neck. Alpine fell asleep almost immediately, but Bucky lay awake, the image of you laughing at something he said across the candlelit table occupying the forefront of his thoughts.

---

The second date had to be rescheduled due to business that Sam and Bucky had to take care of, once again, in D.C. Reluctantly, he had texted you to reschedule.

Have to go to DC tonight with Sam… Go out when we come back?

Bucky watched the bubble type.

If you don’t want to go out again, just say so

He felt like vomiting.

KIDDING! Of course we can.

Taking a deep breath, he typed out a reply.

Not funny. Almost gave me a heart attack. You gonna be okay for a few days?

I’ll be fine, just take care of yourself and be safe, please.

Will do, doll.

A little heart emoji you sent back made Bucky smile before he tucked his phone away and boarded the plane.

---

After a few days of cut-and-dry investigation, they were done by Saturday night. Since they were flying commercially, they had one more evening to kill before the next flight. Bucky was standing idly outside of the crowded comic book store that Sam was currently in. AJ had called Uncle Sam, asking if he could check for a specific volume of a comic that he liked. Happy to oblige, Bucky had told Sam that they could make the stop. Though, once seeing how crowded it was, Bucky opted to stay outside. Feeling a buzz in his pocket, he took out his phone to see a text from you pop up on his home screen. You had sent him a picture of Alpine curled up on the bed next to the dress you were going to perform in.

Alpine has approved my dress selection this evening!

Smiling at his screen as he sauntered down the sidewalk, he typed out his reply.

I agree with Alpine. Very nice selection.

He sent the text and paused, standing in place for a moment before sending a short addendum.

Sorry that I can’t be there.

It’s okay, there’s plenty others :)

Bucky looked up and saw that he had wandered a few stores down from the comic book shop. Craning his head, he didn’t see Sam yet. Turning back to the store in front of him, he glanced at the window display. A set of earrings on the edge of the display caught his eye. The soft pearls and winding gold took him back to another time. It was very reminiscent of the fancy jewelry that adorned the movie stars during his youth.

Glancing back down to the comic store, he had yet to see Sam out front. He took the opportunity to slip into the jewelers. There was a well-dressed couple looking at specific pieces of jewelry but otherwise, the store was empty. An unoccupied salesman approached Bucky warily.

“Can I help you sir?”

“Yes, um… I was interested in getting something from the window display.” Bucky said in a low tone as he gestured to the front. He was overly aware of how ‘rough around the edges’ he looked.

“Which one?” The salesman asked as Bucky followed him to the front. After the earrings were pointed out, the salesman took them out of the case. He gave a little background as he handed Bucky the set.

“This is from our vintage-inspired collection. Modeled after jewelry from the post-art-deco era in the 1930’s, these earrings are the perfect modern gift with a vintage twist.” They dangled on the velvet earring holder as Bucky took a closer look. They were perfect.

“How much?” Bucky asked.

“They’re a bit expensive sir- four hundred dollars.” The salesman said uneasily.

“I’ll take them.”

He paid for the gift and stepped out onto the street, stuffing the earring box into his pocket. No sign of Sam yet. Making his way back up the street, he checked his phone to see that you had texted him a link. He sat on the bench and tapped on the link, which took him to a video that you had uploaded of the opening piece from the night before. He smiled as he saw that you had recorded it from his usual spot in Box One. You walked across the stage on screen, doing your usual bow and taking a seat at the bench. He put the speaker of the phone up to his ear and waited for the playing to start.

“What’re you listening to?”

Bucky almost dropped his phone as Sam cackled.

“Are you finally done?” Bucky said, annoyance seeping out his tone.

“Yeah, c’mon.” Sam said, smirk still on his face.

That night in the hotel room, as Bucky was settling into bed, he played the video once more, this time actually getting to listen. It was a soft melody, warm and deceivingly intricate, lulling him to sleep.

---

The second official date was up to Bucky to plan, since you had gotten to plan the first one. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but he wanted it to be a surprise.

Dress code? You had asked.

He texted back to wear something comfy and casual. He had gone back to his roots, opting for dinner and a drive-in movie. Remembering your favorite snacks from grocery shopping, he made sure to stock up beforehand, stealing your keys and tucking them into the trunk of the car along with a cozy blanket.

He straightened out the wrinkles in his light grey long-sleeve shirt and checked to make sure his jeans and sneakers didn’t have mud on them from the driveway earlier. Satisfied with his appearance, he snagged his leather jacket and went to warm up the car.

Several minutes after he had gotten in the drivers seat and started the car, you stepped out of the house. Your white headband kept the hair out of your face as you locked the door behind you. You had put your hair into two braids that fell against the fuzzy crème sweater. With your outfit completed with light-wash jeans, white sneakers, and a small cross-body bag, Bucky thought you looked absolutely adorable.

“Hey.” He greeted you with a huge smile.

“Hey!” You replied as you messed with the seatbelt. After it clicked, you looked up at him, allowing Bucky to get a better look at you. You had put on a more natural set of makeup that just enhanced your already present features- your eyelashes curling just at the tips, your lips glossy and tinted-pink.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“You’ll see.”

A coy smile came upon his lips as he shifted the car into drive. It was a longer drive and you made easy conversation as the sun started to set. It always set so early in the winter, making it feel way later than it was. Bucky exited the highway and you perked up curiously, looking to see if you recognized anything. Eventually, he merged into the turn lane, waiting for the light so that he could turn onto the street with a huge sign that read Drive-In Movies, This Way.

“Are we going to a drive-in movie?” You questioned excitedly. Bucky laughed at your enthusiasm and nodded his head.

“Yup. We are.”

You looked forward excitedly as the light turned green and he turned onto the road. Bucky pulled up to a toll booth and rolled down the window. A man peered into the car momentarily before ringing up the register.

“Twenty four dollars please.”

Wordlessly, Bucky pulled out his wallet and handed the man the cash. Letting his left arm hang out of the window while he waited for the change, he took his right and cupped it against the side of his mouth in a dramatic fashion.

“I remember when these used to be a dime.”

Your mouth twisted in an effort to hold back your laughter as Bucky thanked the man for the change. As you pulled off, you couldn’t help but snort.

“Okay, that was cute.” Bucky teased, getting the crow’s feet in the corner of his eyes that you liked so much. You gave him a wide smile as he pulled into the last row. Your eyes grew wide at the trailers playing on the screen.

“Wow, this is amazing. I’ve never been the a drive-in before. The screen is huge!” You turned your head. “And there’s a snack bar!”

“Hold on,” Bucky said as he popped the trunk and exited the car. He lifted the bag out of the trunk and came back around to the door, ducking his head so that he could see you.

“I’ve got some of your favorite,” he said as he passed you the bag of snacks, “and a blanket to stay warm in.”

Your eyes lit up as you looked through the snack bag. He had gotten a variety of candy he’s seen you eat, as well as chips and a bucket of kettle corn.

“Of course, if you want anything else, you can still go to the snack stand.”

“No, Buck, this is great. You’re amazing.” You said as you shook your head, still ruffling through the bag. He laughed and got back into the car, throwing the blanket into the back seat and pushing his chair back. As you got situated, the sun set fully and the movie began playing.

---

There were about thirty minutes left in the movie, and you and Bucky had finished up with the snacks and settled into your seats. The action on the screen did little to distract you from the way Bucky’s thumb rubbed the top of your hand. You stole a glance at him and he met your gaze with an easygoing smile on his face.

“Do you like the movie?” He asked when you did not turn back.

“Oh, yeah, I like it. I’ve actually seen it before. I just really like being here with you.” You propped your elbow up on the center console and rested your chin against your palm, looking at Bucky with a dreamy look in your eyes. “Am I distracting you from the movie?”

Bucky leaned closer to you with an amused look on his face.

“Yes, but I have also seen this movie before.”

It only took a few moments before his lips met yours, parting slightly to taste your strawberry lip gloss. His hand came up to softly hold your face, his thumb brushing against your jawline. When you came apart, the expression on your face made him swallow thickly. Hooded eyes and slightly parted lips tempted him beyond his means. This time, you leaned in to meet him in the middle, no hesitancy behind your actions. You captured his bottom lip, giving it a little kitten lick before gently sucking on it. Bucky let out a small groan into your mouth unintentionally, making your breath hitch.

You kissed for a while, small noises escaping both of you as you tilted your head occasionally to deepen the kiss. Bucky felt something stir in him that hadn’t in a long, long time. It was absolutely intoxicating, being with you like this. All he wanted was a little more. Breaking the kiss, he pulled back just a little, slightly breathless, just as you were. You let out a breathy laugh, cheeks warm and lips swollen. A beat passed before Bucky said something that made you almost choke.

“If we’re going to keep kissing, you should come over here and sit on my lap.”

You turned your head, looking through the car windows. There was no one parked particularly close to you, and your windows were tinted anyway. With an excited grin on your face, you scooted backwards over the center console until your back was resting on the driver’s side door. You were angled slightly to face him, your outstretched legs over his lap and on the center console towards the backseat. You hooked your arms around his neck and giggled. You hadn’t done anything like this since you were in high school.

He chuckled with you before closing the gap. You felt each others smiles as you kissed. Slowly, the kiss deepened. His arms wrapped around your waist as he tilted forward, leaning over you and giving him better access as you opened your mouth to let his tongue in. His hands moved to support the back of your head and your lower back, causing you to groan slightly and shift in his lap.

Bucky opened his eyes in surprise, panicking silently. You hadn’t noticed, eyes still closed as you continued to kiss him. He cursed in his head, shifting you up slightly so that your leg wasn’t resting right on his crotch. Thankfully, he was wearing jeans and you hadn’t given any indication that you had noticed. He chastised himself in his head.

C’mon man, you’re not fifteen anymore. You can’t go around getting stiff every time you kiss a girl.

The bright lights cut back on, startling you and Bucky apart. You squinted your eyes and looked out towards the screen. The credits had just finished. Looking back to Bucky, you both laughed before kissing once more.

---

Afterwards, he took you to a classic diner, treating you to dinner and dessert. There was a jukebox in the corner that you and Bucky had looked at, racking up a few songs. You had danced slightly in your seat when your favorites came on, making him grin like a love-struck fool.

The diner had been close to the drive-in, so the drive home was still pretty long. Full and content, you had dozed off to the tune of the radio playing softly in the background. Choosing to let you sleep, he drove back silently, looking over at you with a smile every once and a while.

He pulled up to the driveway and parked the car, gently leaning over to rub your arm.

“Hey,” he said quietly, “We’re home.”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you yawned and let you eyes adjust to the lights in the car.

“Mmm. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s okay, it’s late. Let’s get you inside.”

You slowly got up and out of the car, gravel crunching underneath of your shoes. Bucky walked with you up to the front door.

“Goodnight, Bucky.” You said groggily, leaning forward to kiss him. He met you halfway, pecking you on the lips.

“Goodnight.”

He watched you cross the threshold, giving you his usual three-fingered wave when you turned back to wave goodbye.

---

For the third date, you had told Bucky to wear his suit and tie. He had no idea what to expect. Hearing thunder outside, he took a peak through the blinds. The wind was really starting to pick up. Grabbing his phone and wallet, he gave Alpine a quick scratch before heading out. The wind was harsh, even for Bucky’s standards. He jogged across the driveway and up the porch, knocking on the door. A few seconds later, you answered, stepping out onto the porch.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting the weather to be like this. I got us a reservation at the museum’s restaurant but I don’t think it’s a good idea to travel that far in the rain.”

You looked out at the sky as the wind whipped your hair around your face. Bucky took the moment to admire how attractive you were. You had on an emerald satin cowl-neck dress that had a slit up the side. Dainty gold earrings matched the shimmering tennis bracelet you on. Your heels gave you some height and made it look like you were showing off an ungodly amount of leg.

“I’m sorry Buck,” you started, looking back to him. “I think we’ll have to go out some other time.”

“I understand. You look beautiful, by the way.” He said as he grabbed both of your hands.

You thanked him with an affectionate smile before getting a thoughtful look on your face.

“Would you like to come in for a drink?”

---

You padded back to the living room with two glasses, heels discarded at the door. Bucky, sans coat and tie, had opened a bottle of whiskey. Tucking your leg under your knee, you sat close, facing him. You held out the glasses, letting him poured a small amount in each. He sat the bottle down and you held out your glass to clink it to his. You took a sip of liquid courage, trying to steel your nerves. You held your drink in your lap and put your arm up on the back of the couch, leaning your head on your hand.

“It’s strange how, once we started seeing each other, how much of a rush it feels. Does it feel like that to you?”

“I do. It feels like… I just can’t get enough.” He said with a chuckle.

“It’s quite nice.” You smiled softly. “To find someone you have an understanding with.”

Bucky nodded as he sipped on his drink. You’d only known each other for half of a year, but if he thought about it harder, you had spent a lot of that time together, especially during the last few months. Bonds are also strengthened during trials and tribulation- you were both people looking to start over, to live happily, to do what you love and have a sense of fulfilment.

“I just think you’re amazing. I think it’s amazing that you want to be with me. I went through so much for so long, and now I finally remember what it feels like to have a sliver of happiness. So thank you. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to be with anybody,” you started, looking down at your drink, “-and I would imagine it’s been the same for you.”

“Yeah. Since before the war.”

“There’s been nobody since?” Your face changed to one of empathy. Bucky took another sip of his drink.

“Nobody. Except you.” He glanced at you with a look of resolution and longing. Gently, you smiled back at him.

“I must be one lucky gal to catch you this late in the game.”

You looked at each other affectionately and kissed. It wasn’t rough, but still filled with passion. After a moment, you pulled apart. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and bit your lip. Bucky swallowed thickly.

“How… fast do you want to take things?”

He blinked in surprise at your words. He hadn’t expected a straight forward discussion about it, but then again, dating in this age was much different. It did make things refreshingly simpler.

“I, uh…”

You looked at him expectantly and he cleared his throat and apologized.

“Sorry. This is all new for me.”

You set a hand on his thigh encouragingly and offered to go first.

“I can start. I… haven’t been with anyone, physically, since my last relationship and you know how that ended. He could be a little… forceful, and that aspect of our relationship has proven to be one of the hardest things to heal from.”

At this point, you were looking down at your hand, tapping a soothing rhythm from muscle memory onto his thigh.

“… I’m sorry. That must be extremely painful to deal with. Nobody should have to go through that.” He put a hand onto your knee reassuringly, rubbing it with his thumb. You shook your head quickly.

“It’s in the past. I’m happy with where I am now. At the end of the day, that’s what matters. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself… Either way, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m not completely sure what I’m ready for, and I might not know until the opportunity presents itself. Please, be patient with me as I figure this. It’s not because I don't trust you or think you'll hurt me, I just...” You trailed off.

“Of course. Whatever you need. Don’t be afraid to tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he assured you. “If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been with anyone… ever.”

“Really? Like, you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You looked at him in a way that implied that he better not be messing around.

“I mean, I’ve gotten a little handsy before,” he said in slight defense, lightening the tension. “but I’ve never been with anyone like that. We didn’t talk about stuff like this in the 40’s. It was expected that you… you know, wait until marriage. People still got together physically, but it was way less common back then. Believe it or not, Steve wasn’t the only gentleman out there.”

You nodded your head and looked at him, clearly impressed.

“No, I totally believe that. Wow. Playboy Sergeant Barnes, waiting for the right girl. You know they write about you like you basically invented premarital sex.”

“Pfft.” Bucky couldn’t hold back his laughter. You both fell apart into a round of giggles. You took another sip of your drink and tried to settle down, wiping your eyes and letting out a deep breath.

“So, are you waiting? To be married? It’s totally fine if you are, I’m just curious.”

Bucky shrugged his eyebrows, now bringing his arm to rest against the couch behind you.

“Not anymore. I think I might’ve then, but that was a lifetime ago. I think what matters most is how comfortable I feel with the person. Besides, it’s rude to keep a lady waiting.” His tone changed, wearing a teasing smile on his face. You rolled your eyes, though still smiling, and put a hand on his chest lightly.

“Very funny, Buck. I’m glad we got to talk about it.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the night was filled with cooking together and watching a movie, only to be distracted by each other. You had been making out with him for quite some time before you separated from him, yawning and stretching your arms over your head.

“Alright, I’m tired. Wanna sleepover?”

“What happened to taking things slow?” He half-teased.

“Well, I figured since you’ve already slept over here once, it wasn’t anything new. Plus you are so warm and it’s so cold.” You bantered. Changing to a more serious tone, you reiterated- “Only if you want to.” Bucky squinted his eyes as he thought and then mentally shrugged, getting up off of the couch.

“Sure.”

He followed you down the hall. You padded lightly to your room, pulling your hair to the front of your shoulder.

“Do you need clothes?” You asked as you started unzipping the top of the dress. Instinctively Bucky looked aside.

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

You responded “okay” as you stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you to change in privacy. He looked around before unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off, leaving him in a plain white t-shirt. He did the same with his pants before getting in bed on the side you don’t sleep on. Bringing one arm up under the pillow to prop himself up slightly and resting the other on his midsection, he let out a deep breath, getting comfortable. The sheets were extremely soft, and they smelled like you. Hearing the door open, he watched as you came out in a loose long-sleeve t-shirt and soft flannel sleep pants.

“Comfy?” You asked with a smile, hanging up the dress on the door.

“Yeah.”

You got into bed on your usual side and laid on your stomach, propping yourself up on your forearms as you looked down at him. Your hair created a curtain, blocking the light from the lamp and creating your own little bubble.

“Goodnight.” You smiled at him sleepily.

“Goodnight.”

He kissed you softly before settling back down. You turned off the lamp and scooched up next to him. He sighed in contentment and moved his arm so that he was holding you to him. With your head resting on his shoulder, he fell into the best sleep he had had in years.

---

The next morning, Bucky floated back up to consciousness to what felt like bliss. Stirring awake, he blinked his eyes open to find the source of the comfort- you. You were still asleep, curled up next to him, face against his arm. Carefully, he slid out of the bed so as to not disturb you, and went to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. He breathed in the morning as he looked out at the bare landscape. After experiencing cryofreeze and the depths of Siberia, the cold couldn’t phase him.

What did phase him, was the warmth he experienced with you. His entire life up until this point had been frigid. Losing his family, his friends, his life, his willpower. Everything around him was nothing but cold to the touch. Then, you came in with a burst of red warmth, thawing him out and letting him feel again. Feel something other than pain and confusion, anger and abandonment. The feeling of actually being happy, which was new and overwhelming.

He hadn’t noticed his breath growing heavier. Putting a hand to his chest, he tried to slow his breathing. Being happy also meant that it could now be taken away. He hadn’t had anything to lose in a long, long time.

The creaking of the floorboards caught Bucky’s attention, and he was able to calm himself down with the distraction. He poured another cup of coffee as you walked into the kitchen. Turning around, he saw you stretch your arms above your head before settling down on the barstool at the counter.

“Good morning.” You greeted him with a sleepy smile, slouching over the counter to watch him pour the exact amount of cream and sugar that you liked into the cup.

“Good morning.” He echoed, handing over the mug and leaning against the counter across from you. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn’t. The delicious smell of coffee did.” You took a sip and sighed. “And maybe the cold did too.”

You reached over the counter for his hand. The warmth of his palm brought much needed heat to the tips of your fingers. He squeezed your hand slightly tighter than normal and you thought nothing of it. You lifted the mug to your mouth by one hand and took a longer drink before settling back in your chair. Your unbrushed hair framing your face as the light of the winter morning lit up your eyes.

Bucky’s breath sped up slightly as he looked at you, completely enamored and terrified of the feeling that was swelling in his chest.

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes angst #bucky x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader

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lovecolibri · 3 years

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SaL anon here and I know we have about 500 songs in our "future Malex wishes" collection which would be great to revisit since they've actually come true, but for some reason right now i'm stuck on going back to Pluto (mumbles something about the cheery music being juxtaposed by the seriousness of the lyrics reflecting the happiness of Malex that hides the work/growth to get to there). Last time we talked about how this was an Alex song, but I think after this episode we can see Michael of it.

FINALLY getting to have the time to sit and answer this one, and oooooh you know just how to come for my feels! I adore this song and when I pulled the original post we did for this song, I saw what you meant that I did it mostly an Alex song at that point, with some overarching Malex-ness but now that we are getting to see that growth from Michael this season, you’re right that it works so well for the both of them and for Malex as a whole! You’re so right about the cheerful music belying the heavy lyrics and that’s such a spot-on observation about the bubbly Malex we are seeing reflecting a LOT of hard work getting them to this point.

i woke up from the same dream: falling backwards, falling backwards ’til it turned me inside out.

now i live a waking life of looking backwards, looking backwards; a model citizen of doubt.

This has been the past 10-12 years for Malex, falling back into old bad habits, trying to find what once was good and pure between them but was tainted by hatred and trauma on top of trauma, and lost to unhealthy coping mechanisms and conflicting trauma responses. Malex were never in a place where they could trust the connection between them, because there was so much unspoken and unaddressed between them and even individually to themselves.

until one day i had enough of this exercise of trust. i leaned in and let it hurt, and let my body feel the dirt. when i break pattern, i break ground. i rebuild when i break down. i wake up more awake than i’ve ever been before.

THIS!! This is the step both of them needed to take in order to move forward. They both had to lean into the hurt, to recognize it, give it a name, feel it and then start to recognize and break their unhealth patterns, not just with their relationship to each other, but across their life and all their relationships. Michael’s talk with Rosa remains one of my favorite moments of the season and seeing his growth has been one of the big highlights for me for this season. And now we are seeing both a Michael and and Alex that are more awake, more vibrant, and more ready than ever before to lean into the softness they have.

still i’m pinned under the weight of what i believed would keep me safe. so show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins. like a final puzzle piece it all makes perfect sense to me… the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity. the heaviness that i hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

Uuuuuuuuuugh, this part always gets me. It’s such a gut-punch with real life and how people hold on to the things that previously may have helped them survive, but may no longer be beneficial, but still feel “safe”. And we saw that so much with Michael and Alex (thinking specifically of that 2x10 bunker fight and Alex saying Michael holds on to anger and hurt because it makes him feel safe), and how both of them have had their armor up for so long. Also, loving the armor and puzzle piece references as RNM has used them a lot! And again, that scene with Rosa gave us a Michael realizing that heaviness he’d been holding onto since her death was suffocating him, and now he’s learning to own his mistakes, be better, and move forward. 😭😭😭

i’ve been worried all my life, a nervous wreck most of the time. i’ve always been afraid of heights, of falling backwards, falling backwards. i’ve been worried all my life.

Well, THIS hits different after 3x09, doesn’t it? Definitely in my Alex feels over this bit, but I do like the imagery of him falling back of that ledge, as Michael pulls him backwards to safety. Because not everything in their past was bad or a waste, but the toxic parts needed to be cut out so they could learn to lean back on each other when they need to. BRB gotta go cry about Malex for an hour.

’til one day i had enough of this exercise of trust. i leaned in and let it hurt, let my body feel the dirt. when i break pattern, i break ground. i rebuild when i break down. i wake up more awake than i’ve ever been before.

still i’m pinned under the weight of what i believed would keep me safe. so show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins. like a final puzzle piece, it all makes perfect sense to me… the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity. the heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity.

I just love this song so much and I love the lightness of the music offsetting the weight of gravity Ryan talks about. This is ultimately a song about feeling the things, breaking patterns, and moving forward and that has been Malex this season and especially Michael (though Alex has had his growth moments too), and it’s so beautiful to see. Thanks for bringing this one back up, it definitely hits differently after what we’ve seen this season, in such a good way! Fingers crossed these new patterns of growth continue!

youtube

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #roswell nm #season 3 spoilers #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #sleeping at last #pluto #love love love this song

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carcinized · 3 years

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replying to your reply to that ask i sent via an ask bc. long ahah. that sentence isn't confusing at all-

:O allyster sovereign skittles i am. thank you. that is. that means a lot. and i have been thinking about this since last night if not longer but! if it means anything! you are! you are also sunshine personified! in my eyes at least. you're always so positive and you make me smile and you're easy to talk to and you're warm and bright and i would say you are yellow but there are quite a few colors that i associate with you it depends (but one of them is yellow). so! your theme is sunny but so are you and honestly you are the brightest part of your blog ! if that makes sense.

no worries about messaging first, it's something that i am also terrible at! it's why the only person i talk to irl is my best friend ahah (she is also bad at messaging first, but she does it for me and i am eternally grateful). for some reason it's easier for me when it's on here? idk

speaking of songs!! i am making a sunshine playlist and i'm very happy about it. also! Good Morning Sunlight by I Fight Dragons is such a lovely song that i am recommending to you :D

i'm glad you're feeling better after yesterday, similar things have happened at my school- nothing quite that bad as far as i know but. it's terrifying. that does sound lovely and ahhh tenor fun!! one of my closest friends is a tenor and yeahhh you guys always have really fun notes and harmonies and stuff. and ahhh yay nice new people!! people <3 :D

i love youuuuuuu :DD

DFJLDFK i get that lmao dw

of course!! i am simply telling the truth <3 !! and asdgssHSDKLFJFD i am so honoured that you see me this way :( i have been told that i am like this before and i believe it to some extent but the only person i know who like. is PROPERLY like that is you? so i just imagine that the sunshiney vibes you give ME are the sunshiney vibes i give off ?? idk we could ask summer or skyy if theyre actually the same LMAO but i guess i am not good at believeing it lmao. but!! i do my best o7

aWWW i am glad i am yellowy among other colours!! :D my associations of you are yellow + a bit of light pink i think!! also you smell like lavendar in my synesthesia mind :] i cannot think of anyone else who smells of lavendar either you are special!! <3

i am the brightest part of my blog ueueue im gonna cry DSFHDSDSFFS aaaa <3

SDJFDSF you can relate then... this is a formal apology to all my mutuals & friends i am SO SORRY i do not message anyone first besides two people in the whole world i am SO SORRY ITS NOT BECAUSE I DONT LIKE YOU ITS THE OPPOSITE SFHDSKF

oooooh :DD song i will listen now!! its so pretty aaaa <3

yeah :/// just another thing to add to my list of "the american education system is falling apart and my school is going first" i am unreasonably passionate about fixing the education system honeslty... hazard of growing up lower class with two parents for teachers i suppose fjskdfj

yeah!! :D tenor is rlly fun :]]] i wish i sang it more but its just in one song SDFJKDS however i will take the one song its v fun!! and its. such a nice song too!! lovely day by bill withers... funky old 70s song that never fails to make me smile youd probably like it (if you havent heard it before!!) we're singing an a capella version its gonna b rlly cool :]

ilyt :(( <333

#stardust !#ask #long post #lovely asks

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i-dream-of-twilight-sparkle · 3 years

Text

Chapter 18: The Royal Ball, Part 6 - Sweetie Belle’s Performance

While their much older friends and/or family are having their fun, the Cutie Mark Crusaders have had a table for themselves where they’ve been playing together and enjoying the performances that have shown up thus far themselves. Clapping for Trixie’s show, getting some good laughs from Autumn’s Puppet Show, and Sweetie Belle in particular enjoying Coloratura singing The Magic Inside again.

They continue to have some banter between them, until they’re joined by a family member of Apple Bloom and former fellow cutie mark crusader, Babs Seed. Who eventually found her talent in being a barber in Manehattan and is currently under the tutelage under of one of the most famous hair stylists in Manehattan. While she was here, she thought she’d visit her cousin and her friends for a little bit

Babs Seed: Hey there, Apple Bloom! How’s my cuz, doin’?

Apple Bloom: Oh hey Babs! Nice t’ see ya! Ya’ll still having ah nice time at that barber shop ya work fo’?

Babs: Yeah! I get chosen whenever somepony wants a cool haircut, such as mohawks or the different kinds of punk-style haircuts

Scootaloo: Niicceeee! Maybe I should get one of your hairstyles sometime, Babs!

Babs: Haha, I’d love to have a hoof at styling your hair in cool ways some day, Scoots.

Sweetie: I may need your services sometime too, Babs. I’ve gotten into singing metal, could be useful for such performances.

Babs: Awww yeah! That would be pretty nice too, Sweetie. I have been wondering how you’ve all been. Been up to anything lately? Maybe tell me how you all were invited here?

Apple Bloom: Sure thing! Ah was mah sister’s first invite when she got t’ the farm, then ah would go t’ get inviting Zecora here as mah sister invited others in our family, as well as Rara and Autumn.

Babs: Yeah, thanks to ya sister we got some pretty awesome, and funny in the case of Autumn Blaze, performances tonight! Though I also kind of got to thank her for inviting Rara for another reason, as in turn she’d bring me. I was taking care of Photo Finish’s mane at the time Applejack was there in Manehattan so I couldn’t quite come across her. Anything else happen though, Apple Bloom?

Apple Bloom: Well.. all that’s left is sort o’ sad, Ah must warn ya. But what ah did next was try t’ see if Grand Pear was available t’ go, he didn’t end up goin’ but we’d find him visiting the graves o’ mah late parents…

Babs: Oh… yea… visiting the graves of dead beloved relatives is always a bummer… I hope this ball is making ya feel better though.

Apple Bloom: It is, yeah.

Babs: How about you, Scoots? Whatcha been up to?

Scootaloo: Hm, it has been a while since we last saw eachother hasn’t it?

Babs: Well, I was at the party ya held that ya girls held to try to convince ya parents to let you stay in Ponyville. But I suppose I haven’t been made too aware of what ya’ve done in a little more then 2 years.

Scootaloo: Is that so? Then I guess you’re not quite very are of… this!

Scootaloo shifts her body from the waist down into her seapony tail in front of Babs, and bends it in a way that would be impossible to bend hooves in to prove it’s a real fish-like tail. Scootaloo now sitting with her sea pony tail dangling down from the side of her chair.

Babs: WHOA! Ya can turn half-fish?! Just like the hippogriffs with their necklaces, but ya don’t have a necklace! How are ya doing it?

Scootaloo: A wish from Twilight, really. But there’s more to this then just that, I’ve been training myself to use this form and get even better at swimming. And just two weeks ago? I was able to convince Spitfire and the Wonderbolts to make a new branch called the Waterbolts! I can’t join yet despite helping start it, but they got decent number of good swimmers from Mount Aeris/Seaquestria to get it started. Along with some of the best fliers there too who will try to become proper Wonderbolts in the near future.

Babs: That’s awesome! Dang Scoots, ya’ve made history!

Scootaloo: Just wait till’ I’m all grown up and I’m the fastest swimmer on the planet! That will be the real kind of history I want to make!

Babs: Yeah! That’ll be a sight to see one day, ya could even do a show in the Manehattan Bay! See how fast it takes for ya to do 20 laps around The Statue of Friendship!

Scootaloo: Yeah! Exactly! It’s gonna be awesome!

Scootaloo transforms back to her pony form

Babs: Now how about you, Sweetie. You mentioned you found out you’re a bit of a metal singer. Mind explaining that?

Sweetie: Of course! After being invited by my sister, we would eventually get to Vinyl Scratch and Octavia’s house to invite them. I decided I’d stay with them a little bit as Rarity got her invitees. I decided to give their karaoke machine a try, and picked a few songs I wanted to sing for them. All of the ones I chose were some level of Metal/Hard Rock. And I guess I did great, as I left them impressed to the point that they actually want me to sing another song here at the ball just to show my voice.

Babs: No way, you’re going to be performing?! When?

Sweetie: Well either me or Cheese Sandwich is next. As soon as Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are called, I’m going to need to head over to see them to get ready.

Babs: So ya plan on rocking the palace in a little bit?

Sweetie: Weellllll the song I chose for the ball isn’t going to be a super intense song, it’s still made by a band that generally does metal, but it’ll be one of their softer ones. I decided I would try to make my first ever solo appearance in front of an audience with something intent on evoking emotions rather then a bang your head kind of tune.

Babs: Yeah, that’s probably respectable. What’s the song?

Sweetie: Mother’s Soul from Stalliondust

Babs: Oooooh, that is a good one. Can’t wait to hear your singing voice, Sweetie. Ya obviously have a talent in music going by your cutie mark, so this will be great to see!

Apple Bloom: Ooo! Ah think ah see the palace staffer walking t’ the stage t’ announce the next performance!

Indeed, as Apple Bloom noticed the palace staffer once again goes up to the stage as the audience once again quiets down to let him speak.

Palace Staffer: Thank you, thank you. Our next performance includes backing instruments from Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. Who will joined by a young rookie singer by the name of Sweetie Belle, showing off her singing talent for the first time solo in front of a big crowd!

This intrigued many in the audience who were aware of Vinyl Scratch and Octavia but have never met Sweetie. Though for those who do know Sweetie, loud cheers could be heard. Especially from her sister and her parents.

Sweetie: Oh my gosh! I’m next!. Seeya soon Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Babs! I need to get ready!

Scootaloo: Good luck, Sweetie!

Apple Bloom: Ya’ll do great! We know ya will!

((Story continues after the break))

Sweetie Belle quickly hops off her chair and rushes to wherever she can find Vinyl Scratch and Octavia. Eventually, she just manages to get to them before they were starting to walk behind the curtains on stage.

Sweetie: Hey! Vinyl! Octavia! I’m here!

Octavia: Hello, Sweetie Belle. Are you ready to debut your singing talent for the world to know?

Sweetie: Yes… I’m no longer shy about my singing. It’s time I finally put my front hoof forward.

Vinyl Scratch nods, and gives Sweetie an approving grin.

Octavia: That’s good to hear. By the way, you picked a great song. I know it’s not quite as intense as some of the ones you sang for us, but it may be a song that’s soft enough to endear your voice. And even if they’re surprised that you end up doing mostly more intense songs that aren’t to everypony’s taste, they can respect the range of your voice.

Sweetie: Thanks, Octavia

With that the 2 musicians, and the little aspiring singer all head backstage to take their places. Vinyl provides the machine that will play an instrumental of the song Sweetie sings, and Octavia provides a little extra symphonic metal elements into Sweetie’s choice of song. And of course, Sweetie on her own in the middle of the stage with a microphone. Soon, the curtain starts raising and the audience can see the three on stage. Claps are heard for the performance’s start.

Rarity: Good luck, Sweetie darling!

Sweetie smiles hearing the voice of her sister and takes a few heavy breaths. Before the song begins to play. Octavia already playing her instrument.

Mother’s Soul by Stalliondust ((To the tune of Angel’s Son by Sevendust))

Sweetie: Life is changing… annnnd…

I can’t… goooo on… withouuuut you…

Rearranging, annnnd… I will be strong!

I’ll stand byyyyyy you…

You were fighting… everyday…

Soooo hard to hide the pain…

I know you never said goodbye…

I had so much left to saaaaay…

(Sweetie puts her mouth closer to the mic to sing the first use of the chorus more quietly)

One last sooooong…

Given to a mother’s soooul…

As soon as you were gooone…

As soon as you were gooooone…

(Sweetie puts her mouth back from the mic, and starts to pick up the intensity as the song itself does)

I have a new life now…

I live through you!

What can I do?!

I feel so alone now…

I pray for you!

We still looove yooou!

You were fighting… everyday…

So hard to hide the pain…

I know you never said goodbye…

I had so much left to saaaaaaay…!

(The song picks up to it’s highest intensity)

One last soooong!

Given to a mother’s sooooooul!

As soon as you were goooone!

As soon as you were goooooone! Ooooh!

One last soooong! Ooooh!

I can’t believe, you’re gone!

Given to a mother’s sooooooul!

Iiiiii can’t beliiiieve!

As soon as you were gooone!

As soon as you were… gooone a ohhh a ohhh a

The song finishes, many of the audience’s mouth agape from Sweetie’s cover of the song. Soon claps are heard and they start spreading across the crowd until the entire crowd claps and starts cheering for the young singer. Not all were necessarily clapping, but that’s because instead they were emotionally moved by the lyrics for one reason or another. Many of the members of the M.I.L.F. club among them, being this is a song dedicated to a deceased mother, anyone in the audience who has a deceased parent, especially Applejack who took the lyrics to heart and is already wiping tears from her eyes. Starlight was still next to her, and is patting her on the back.

Applejack: *sniff* Such a-ah b-b-beautiful s-so-song… *sob* W-w-well done, S-s-sweetie B-belle… *sniff*

Starlight herself also tears up a bit from the song since while it’s known this is for a deceased mother. The lyrics could still somewhat apply to a missing one, and she still can’t rule out the possibility that her mother is dead anyway.

Sweetie Belle walks off the stage and is immediately approached by her sister and her fellow crusaders.

Rarity: That was amazing, Sweetie! You really gave the crowd a show!

Apple Bloom: We knew ya’ll would ace this!

Scootaloo: Yeaaaah! You rocked it!

Suddenly, another pony comes to approach Sweetie Belle. It’s Coloratura herself quite impressed with Sweetie’s talent.

Rara: That was a top-notch performance, Sweetie. you have a voice that I think the whole world will want to hear. In fact, if you ever feel like you’re ready to start making record deal. My place can be open to you some day, and I’ll be your sort of manager.

Sweetie: Wait.. you… as my manager?!

Rara: Not immediately of course, I think you still have a little bit of your childhood to have before you do. But say when you think you’re ready to start selling records in your teenage years or older.

Scootaloo: Kinda like just how it will still be a few years until I’m ready to become a trainee for the Waterbolts!

Sweetie: My gosh, Coloratura… this is such an honor… even if this is still some years away… you have no idea how happy I am that you recognize my talent… Even if we’re kinda getting into different genres. You’re mainly a pop singer right?

Rara: That’s true, but because I’m a pop singer doesn’t mean I can’t manage other types of singers. I started self-managing ever since I kicked Sven Gallop out, and I felt as I got comfortable I’d eventually get to helping other singers find a footing. And I’ll be a nicer manager then Sven ever will be.

Sweetie: Well then, yes! Of course I’d love you to be my manager when I’m ready to start my music career in full!

Rara: On a side note, I know the stallion who wrote the song you sang. He unfortunately lost his mother to an illness, and that song was dedicated to her. And he would of loved to hear your cover of the song. Perhaps some day, you’ll get to perform your cover again while he’s in the audience.

Sweetie: Yeah… I figured the song was about a deceased mother. But nice of you to tell me the real story behind the song’s making. And that would be cool to have the actual band’s writer and lead singer listen to my cover! But if it’s ok, I think I’d like to return to my table with my friends, I still very much appreciate reserving a spot for me at your studios. So thank you, Coloratura.

Rara: No problem, Sweetie. I can’t wait to see what comes next for your music career.

Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo return to the table they were sitting. Many tables they’re passing by with strangers waving to the young Sweetie, as it seems she’s made a decent amount of fans already. Babs Seed is still at the table and sees the group approach.

Babs: Great singing, Sweetie Belle! Ya did great up there.

Sweetie: Thank you very much, Babs!

Once they’re seated, they don’t get much time before another pony approaches. Though it’s a pony the Crusaders are very fond of: Cheerilee, their school teacher.

Cheerilee: Hello, Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Apple Bloom: Miss Cheerilee!

Scootaloo; Hiya!

Sweetie: I’m so happy to see you’re here!

Cheerilee: I’ve been having a pretty good time here, thanks for thinking of inviting me Sweetie. And also… you did a great job out there on stage. I’m very proud of you, Sweetie. I know one day you will make it big in the music industry.

Sweetie: Thank you!

Cheerilee: Also, I want to talk to Scootaloo a little bit

Scootaloo: Oh no.. am I in trouble for something?

Cheerilee: No, not at all. I just want to congratulate you on starting up the Waterbolts!

Scootaloo: Huh? How’d you find out about that? I don’t think I told you yet.

Cheerilee: Me and Spitfire are actually good friends! While talking to her, she told me all about what you did in Mount Aeris/Seaquestria

Scootaloo: Oh nice! I can’t join it myself yet, but you bet I’m going to continue to swim as much as I can until then!

Cheerilee: I’ve seen you swim sometimes in Saddle Lake, the School of Friendship’s moat, and the rivers in town! You are really fast in the water! You’ll no doubt be a star, once you’re old enough to get in the Waterbolts.

Scootaloo: Thank you, Miss Cheerilee!

Cheerilee: And now Apple Bloom, mind if I ask if you have any idea where your big brother is?

Apple Bloom: Big Mac? Ah think he’s on a table with his wife, Sugar Belle.

Cheerilee: Ah, of course. They are certainly a cute couple.

Sweetie: You’re not going to fight with Sugar Belle... Are you?

Cheerilee: What? Why would I fig- Oooooooh, do you still think I have romantic interest in Big Mac? We were just friends, granted, we were only acquaintances until your love potion shenanigans.

Sweetie: Well… you did still say one of the names you called him while under the effects of the potion, after you were cured.

Cheerilee: Oh hahahaha, me and Big Mac just decided to prank you girls at that moment.

Apple Bloom: Ah think only Sweetie really thought ya had feelings for him. Ah’d know if ya’ll were together after that Love Potion incident.

Scootaloo: Yeah, you fooled me with that prank at first, but over time it probably would of been more clear if you really did become special someponies for real at some point.

Cheerilee: Then I guess Sweetie Belle must be slightly holding on to a ship she once had for me. I remember when you were upset that I didn’t kiss Big Mac, and you popped out of the bush yelling “OH COME ON” *giggles*

Sweetie: Nuh uh… I tried to help Big Mac get with Sugar Belle too! Though… it is still a shame that you still don’t have a special somepony.

Cheerilee: Well, what if I told you why you never did that Hearts and Hooves Day so long ago? Besides the fact that love potions override everything in a pony’s mind order to hypnotize ponies into loving eachother and won’t necessarily make it likelier that the two ponies become special someponies after being cured.

Cheerilee moves on closer in order to whisper, and the 3 hold up their ears to hear.

Cheerilee: I’m not into stallions at all, I’m into mares. You had the wrong orientation the whole time!

Scootaloo: Oh! Oh! Oh! Just like my Aunts!

Apple Bloom: Lyra & Bon Bon too!

Sweetie: Oooooooooh, I see. Well… I’ll guess I’ll have to rearrange some things at home later then. Hehehehe…

Scootaloo: *rolls her eyes* Great, now she’s going to spend a whole night shuffling her shipping chart…

Cheerilee giggles

Cheerilee: Anyhow, I guess I won’t bother Big Mac just yet, if he’s on a little bit of a honeymoon with Sugar Belle. I can always see him later.

Apple Bloom: What did ya even want t’ see him fo’?

Cheerilee: Nothing all that special, just if I can ask him if he can reserve some Sweet Apple Acres apples sometime when we get back.

Apple Bloom: Ya’ll could o’ asked me that

Cheerilee: Yeah but I wanted a lot of apples, enough that it’d be hard for you to carry all by yourself

Scootaloo: Whatcha going to do with all those apples?

Cheerilee: Just stock back up many, many jars of applesauce back home. And maybe save some for slices and/or eating them normally.

Apple Bloom: Well, even if ya don’t get Big Mac at some point later. Me and Applejack can probably get ya what ya want.

Cheerilee: True, I suppose. I guess I’ll just get back to the table I was sitting at for now, who knows when that final performance is going to start after all.

Sweetie: All that’s left is Cheese Sandwich before the night finishes with some dancing. So yeah! What ever is left of the ball should be quite fun, though it almost certainly means this ball is nearly over.

Scootaloo: It’s been a pretty fun night! All parties come to an end eventually, but they saved some cool stuff for last with one of the best party ponies around, and then we’ll all get to dance!

Apple Bloom: Ah guess seeya, Miss Cheerilee! Thank ya’ll for being such ah great teacher fo’ us. Mind if we get ah hug from ya before ya go?

Cheerilee: Oh of course I will, anything for 3 of my favorite students!

Cheerilee lowers herself to the ground by sitting on the floor and hugs around the 3 fillies. And then head back to her table.

Meanwhile, back at the table of the M.I.L.F. club, Twilight’s had enough fun talking with the other mothers and getting Trixie’s mom to be a member too (Stellar Flare was chosen to make Dandy Lion recite the club’s oath)

Twilight: Well this was a lot of fun, all of you. But I think I’m going to head elsewhere now, if I don’t see any of you the rest of the night. Hope you had a wonderful time here

Windy: We absolutely have! And no problem, Princess!

Velvet: Of course, dear. You have a fantastic rest of the night!

Twilight walks off waving to all the other mothers and once Twilight’s far enough, they continue their family gossiping. Twilight herself ponders where to go next, and realizes she still hasn’t seen Celestia and Luna here. And she figured it was going to be important to inform Celestia of her plan with Spike and Malakhar to visit the spot where Spike’s birth mother died. She eventually finds the two Alicorn sisters on their own table and heads on over to where they’re sitting. Celestia sees Twilight approach and smiles.

Celestia: Hello, Princess Twilight. Thank you for inviting us, it’s been a fantastic time. And a decent amount of great performances.

Luna: I never knew Sweetie Belle had such a beautiful singing voice. That was wonderful to hear

Twilight: You’re welcome both of you, and yeah, Sweetie’s going to be a fantastic musician one day. Thee’s no doubt about that, after that performance. But I actually went to see you because I have something important to ask of you for tomorrow morning, Princess Celestia

Celestia: Oh? Do tell what it is.

Twilight: Remember when you told me the story about where you got Spike’s egg and where his birth mother died? I told the story to Spike 2 weeks ago, and he said at one point he wants to visit that cave the day after the ball. And I thought I’d ask you to be there since you could likely help show where it was. I guess it turns out Malakhar was also there at the time, and I may have him accompany us as well to give directions, but I still wanted to ask if you could still help us if we went to you in the morning to go see it.

Celestia: I’d be happy to lead you to the cave, and oh? Malakhar was there too? Interesting, he must of been the teenage colt that handed me the egg back then. He did look familiar when I saw him, but he’s certainly a lot bigger then he was then. Does Spike perhaps wish to have a moment of silence to mourn his birth mother?

Twilight: Well, probably not quite on the same level as others. But he does want to pay his respects, especially if everything in your dream came true, she’s very much responsible for the path our lives took. Even if we can’t speak to her, it’d at least feel respectful in that way

Celestia: Completely understandable, I along with Malakhar will take you and Spike to the cave in the morning. But first, how has your night gone? Any interesting things happen for you?

Twilight: Besides enjoying the performances, I guess the night started with me and my friends telling each other what happened in our individual inviting trips. Including myself telling most of what you told me about Spike’s egg and Sunset Shimmer to my friends. But after that, I met up with my Canterlot friends. And sometime during all that, the Prince of Saddle Arabia, Theandri the 2nd surprised Moondancer as we were talking. And absolutely swept her off her hooves, kinda literally. They’re currently still on their first date as of this very moment.

Celestia: Awwwww, that’s so adorable!

Twilight: Though that’s not even the only thing about this, at some point… Moondancer called me to head on over where they were… and weirdly enough in a plan the Prince told Moondancer to do… Moondancer confessed… that she had a crush on me as far back as when we were teens.

I didn’t even know she was Bisexual, I guess that was because she still mostly preferred looking for stallions. But I guess I became an exception, it somewhat makes me feel even more bad for not even saying goodbye before you sent me to Ponyville. I think Moondancer understands that saving the world, and freeing your sister was in the grand scheme of things more important then her party, but it nonetheless hurt her pretty bad since she had planned of finally gathering the courage to tell me. I likely only would of said I don’t feel the same way, but because I didn’t go at all. A part of her never really got an answer, so she had to know what I would of said, so she could completely move on.

Celestia: Wow… If only I had known that long ago, even if the result would have been the same… that you don’t have the same feelings for her… Moondancer was still one of the students at my school, I would of gladly personally given her the chance when there was time after Luna was freed. No pony’s heart should be left with an unanswered heart for a decade

Twilight: But at least she now has the Prince. I can already tell they’ll be a close couple, Theandri II risked giving up Moondancer if hypothetically I wanted a relationship with her now, and Moondancer felt like she preferred to satisfy her long-lasting feelings towards me. An act of kindness that no doubt Moondancer will never forget.

Celestia: Certainly something that’s somehow heartwarming, but also a little heartbreaking at the same time. Good to see both the Moondancer and the Prince happy. I’m sure the Sultan and the Sultana are also pleased they may possibly know who becomes Sultana when they step down.

Twilight: Haha, believe me I saw them celebrating from their balcony when their son and Moondancer’s date started.

Celestia giggles

Celestia: Good for them, but now… anything else Twilight?

Twilight: Well all that’s else that happened is I met and joined a club of other mothers of Equestria that was co-founded by my own mom, and includes many of my own friend’s mothers

Celestia: Ah… that does sound quite cute, thanks for sharing how your night’s been.

Twilight: It’s pretty close to the end isn’t it? Only one more performance, then a moment to dance and then either anyone here is brought back home or they stay in the palace rooms for the wedding in 3 days.

Celestia: Indeed, but everyone’s certainly got their slice of fun here.

Twilight: It was good to talk to you once again, Princess. I think I’m going to head back to the table I was at originally to be with my friends and Spike again for the rest of the night. But I’ll see you again soon tomorrow morning to go to that cave.

Celestia: Have yourself a good rest of the night, Twilight. And yes, I shall see you in the morning.

Twilight heads out to the table she started at during the night, as the royal ball etches closer to the end.

UP NEXT: Chapter 19: The Royal Ball, Part 7 - The Taste Of Fresh Dough On The Tray

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vagarius · 4 years

Text

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most? uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing? ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them? I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them? THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them? hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s) this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon) this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together? they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why? i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10. AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them? in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why? OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing? THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them? i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them? as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them? TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.) angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation? they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date? i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts? IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

#a3 #misukazu #kazumisu #ikaruga misumi #miyoshi kazunari #a3!#act! addict! actors!#headcanons #ernb its me

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trashyswitch · 3 years

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An Unexpected Roommate

Chapter 10: A Fallen Family Home

Robbie, Chase, Jamie and Henrik all take a short day trip to Robbie's former house across town. While there, they discover a lot more about Robbie and his parents.

This chapter will talk quite a bit about death, and mention some sexist prejudice. It will also have quite a bit of angst, and a couple quite graphic explanations of his life and his death. I warn you to read with these warnings in mind. If you cannot handle this and wish to skip over the chapter, then feel free to do so.

Everyone else, I hope you enjoy.

Chase, Henrik, Jamie, and Robbie rode in Chase’s car to find the house address. Chase was following the GPS that was leading him to the address he found on the Facebook page, Henrik was talking to Chase in the passenger seat and Jamie was sitting in the back of the car with Robbie.

“Do you recognize any of this, Robbie?” Chase asked.

“No. It just looks like a bunch of houses.” Robbie replied.

Chase chuckled and looked at Henrik with an amused smile. “He’s got a point, Chase.” Henrik replied.

The four of them drove by many more houses, before nearing the house they were looking for. A few kilometres before they reached it, it became very apparent what house was the correct house. The house was abandoned and all raggedy, with peeling paint and a broken fence on the side. There was even a tuxedo cat just hanging out on the porch. But the moment that the car pulled into the cracked driveway, the cat jumped down and ran away.

“Bye bye kitty.” Robbie said to the cat, waving through the window.

Chase parked the car. “Do you recognize this house?” Chase asked, turning to see him.

Robbie hopped out of the car and ran up the driveway. Jamie widened his eyes and hopped out of the car to follow him.

“ROBBIE! JAMESON! WAIT FOR US!” Chase yelled. Henrik and Chase both ran up the driveway after them and stopped in front of the porch.

Robbie climbed up a porch decoration to the mailbox and reached into the mailbox. “Hmmm...Okay!” Robbie muttered, pulling his hand out with a piece of metal in it. It was a key on a ring.

“How...how often do you go here?” Chase asked.

Robbie walked to the door. “I used to come back all the time! I used to live here until the ‘no trespass’ sign came up.” Robbie explained.

Henrik widened his eyes. “Should...ve be here?” he asked.

“Well technically, this isn’t trespassing because Robbie used to live here before it was abandoned...And we’re with Robbie. So…” Chase explained.

Henrik looked at Jamie with a worried look on his face. Jamie gave Henrik a ‘eeeehh’ signal by twisting his open hand and wrist. Robbie finally got the door unlocked. He turned the doorknob and pushed. But it wouldn’t open. “Dammit. It’s stuck again.” Robbie muttered. So, Robbie walked a few feet back and readied his foot. “Stand back. More back.” Robbie warned. Suddenly, Robbie took a running start at it, kicked the door open and fell onto his side. The door blasted open and smacked the wall on the inside of the house.

“Where did THAT come from?!” Chase asked.

“For a child vizh decaying muscles...You are VERY strong.” Henrik admitted.

Robbie jumped back up onto his feet, sent Henrik a proud smile and took the key out of the lock. “Welcome home! It’s very dirty, so please leave your shoes on. It’s also cold, so keep your coats on if you’re cold.” Robbie told them as they walked in.

Henrik pulled some dust masks out of his backpack and handed one each to all of them. “Here. You need zhese.” Henrik told them all.

For Robbie, Henrik handed him a kids medical face mask. “Why are you wearing masks? And why do I have to wear one?” Robbie asked.

“Because it helps us from getting dust in our lungs. And zhe mask vill save your lungs from furzher damage.” Henrik explained.

“Oh.” Robbie put the medical mask on then walked around the familiar house.

The house entrance opened up to a mud room, which led to a living room and a dining room. There was a staircase on the left side of the living room behind the grey couch, and a railway on both sides of the staircase. The staircase was covered with a layer of carpet that was covered with a few layers of dirt by the time they were there. There was little dust travelling in the air, save for the dust that flew off the surfaces. It was still filled with dust though, which made the dust masks all the more necessary.

Chase felt a shiver run up his spine as he walked around. The house was creepy looking and...pain-stricken. There used to be a family of three living here. Now it’s severely abandoned and filled with junk.

“Chase! Henry! Jamie! I wanna show you my room!” Robbie told them, running to the staircase.

Chase looked up the staircase and immediately tapped the front of the first stair. “Is this safe?” Chase asked.

“Look Chase!” Robbie jumped up every single stair to the top. Robbie turned around. “It’s fine!” Robbie said at the top.

Henrik blinked. “Yeah...for a 65 pound child. But for zhree 170 pound men?” Henrik asked.

Jamie slowly stepped one step at a time up the steps. Other than the creakiness of the stairs, the stairs were still relatively safe. Only when Jamie reached the halfway point, did Chase actually consider starting up the stairs. Chase took one step at a time, and kept in mind where the stairs creaked the most.

While he was getting to the top, a cracking sound and a loud snap could be heard behind him. “Scheisse!” someone yelled behind him. Chase turned around and saw Henry’s foot stuck in the stair. “Vell…Zhis is a fine pickle.” Henrik admitted.

Chase giggled and walked down for him. “Want some help?” Chase asked.

“Ja bitte.” Henrik replied.

Chase grabbed Henrik’s ankle and tried to pull it out. But the foot was stuck pretty good. “Okay. I’m gonna pull, and I want you to pull as well.” Chase explained. Henrik nodded and readied his foot. “On three. 1, 2, 3!” Chase and Henrik both pulled on the foot, and POP! Right out of the hole. “There.”

“Zhank you.” Henrik replied.

“No problem!” Chase replied as they caught up to the others.

Robbie ran into his room and stood in the middle of it to show it off. “This was my room!” Robbie told them.

The room was still somewhat put together with red walls, hanging picture frames, a full twin sized bed, a whole bunch of old stuffed animals, a big toy chest, a few books, and a table filled with model cars. Chase felt a yearning in his throat to start crying. It was just like a regular little boys room. It reminded him so much of his own boys' rooms, before his wife took custody of them. Now he never sees their rooms.

Jamie walked up to the model cars that were sitting on the table first. “Hey Jamie! This one’s my favorite!” Robbie picked up a red and white old car. Jamie gasped and looked closer at it. He remembers seeing a car like this! Jamie shined his flashlight onto the back license plate of the car and pointed to it.

[1935]

“Yeah, that’s the license plate!” Robbie said.

“I think he’s trying to tell you that 1935 is the year the car was made.” Chase explained.

“Oooooh.” Robbie reacted.

Jamie grabbed a bright red convertible from the table and showed Chase.

‘I was friends with someone who had one of these.’ Jamie told him.

“Really?! Did you get to ride in it?” Chase asked. Jamie nodded. “Oh my gosh that’s awesome!”

Robbie, Jamie and Chase continued to look around at the many model cars he had. “My Mom’s toy store had a model car aisle. Every time I went to the toy store, I could buy a model car!” Robbie told them.

“Do you wanna take them home?” Chase asked.

Robbie gasped and looked at Chase with big, starry eyes. “REALLY?!”

“Yes! We can take these cars home if you want to!” Chase replied.

“OKAY!” Robbie quickly grabbed Henrik’s bag and pretty much pulled it off his back. Robbie grabbed the model cars in handfuls and dumped them into the bag. Despite Jamie’s attempts to stop Robbie from mistreating them and damaging them, Robbie continued to throw them into the backpack handful by handful. When all 53 of the model cars were thrown in, Robbie placed the backpack down and ran to one of the framed photographs.

Robbie unhooked a specific photo frame he had, of him and his parents. His Mom was dressed up in a Raggedy Ann costume, his father was dressed in a Men in Black costume, and Robbie was dressed up in a Jack Sparrow costume with a fake sword! Robbie smiled and showed Chase the picture.

“Awww!” Chase cooed. “You look great in that costume.”

Robbie smiled and pointed to his parents. Though his mother’s hair was hidden in a wig, his father’s hair was visible. And...It was surprisingly jet black. Or, the photo showed it to be. “What color was your Dad’s hair?” Chase asked.

“Black! Like a panther!” Robbie replied.

Chase nodded and looked at the picture for a bit longer before giving it back to Robbie. “Do you wanna take it home?” Chase asked. “We can find a place for you to hang it.” Chase offered.

Robbie looked at the picture and sighed. He really missed his parents sometimes. But he was scared to tell Chase about it too much. He sensed Chase would feel sad if he talked about the parents he lost. So this picture would either make this conversation easier, or even harder than before. But...Robbie decided to nod his head and place the picture frame into the backpack.

Chase continued to look around his room while Robbie did his thing. He came across nicknacks, a lamp, a kids book on top of the dresser, and a kleenex box that was covered in dust. One thing that did catch Chase’s eye however, was a dozen little wooden boxes with spinning levers. “What are these?” Chase asked.

Robbie walked up to Chase and gasped. “My music boxes!” Robbie grabbed the music box very carefully and spun the lever. An upbeat kind of song started playing through the side of the box, and Robbie started subtly dancing to the song. “It’s a circus song that plays for a trapeze swinger!” Robbie explained.

Chase smiled and listened to it for a bit. Then, Robbie put that music box down and grabbed another box. “This one’s my favorite.” Robbie started spinning the lever at the side. The song started to play, and a very familiar song started to play! Jamie whipped his head around to Robbie and quickly pointed at it. ‘I know this song!’ Jamie told him.

“Yeah! It’s Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy!” Chase replied.

“It’s from The Nutcracker!” Robbie added.

“Indeed it is!” Chase reacted. “Have you ever seen the Nutcracker ballet?” Chase asked him.

“No. Dad said it was too girly.” Robbie admitted.

Chase gasped and knelt down to his level. “No man is too girly to watch the Nutcracker. Or be a ballet dancer in general.” Chase added. “You haven’t been told the story of Billy Elliot.” Chase told him.

“Billy Elliot?” Robbie asked.

“Mm hmm! Billy Elliot was a young boy who learned he was an amazing ballet dancer. He longed to dance in a ballet class, and soon joined the ballet class when he was supposed to be boxing. His father and his brother were furious with him. No boys have ever tried dancing in ballet. The boys who’ve tried before, were often called ‘gay’ and ‘not masculine’.” Chase explained.

Robbie’s curious face dropped a frown as he looked down at the ground. Chase tilted his head in confusion and knelt down to his level. “What’s wrong? Did something I say bother you?” Chase asked.

Robbie nodded his head. “Daddy called me gay once.” Robbie told him.

Chase blinked in surprise and looked up at Jamie. Jamie had dropped his jaw and frowned in slight anger. Henrik was nowhere to be found.

“Is being gay like being darker-skinned?” Robbie asked.

Chase lifted his head up quickly. “What?! No. No it’s not. Why would being gay be like being black?” Chase asked.

But Chase felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking over, it was Jamie’s hand that was on his shoulder. Jamie was closer to him and kneeling down beside him.

“Being gay is a type of love. Being gay means for a man to fall in love with another man.” Chase explained. “Boys that are gay, will want to kiss other boys, rather than girls.” Chase explained.

Robbie looked up. “I don’t wanna kiss boys. I wanna kiss girls.” Robbie replied. “Dad was wrong. I’m not gay.” Robbie told him. “I’m Robbin. I’m a girl kisser.” Robbie replied.

Chase smiled and chuckled. “I am too.” Chase told him. Robbie looked up at Chase and smiled. “Jamie is as well.” Chase added. “Almost everyone in the house likes kissing girls. But Marvin...he likes kissing boys and girls.” Chase added as well.

“Really?” Robbie asked.

“Yup. That’s called being bisexual. Or bi, for short. Bi people want to kiss boys and girls.” Chase explained.

Robbie widened his eyes. “That’s a lot of people.” Robbie commented.

Chase giggled at that.

“Hey boys? Can you come here please?” Henrik called.

Chase and Jamie turned their heads around to the doorframe, while Robbie tilted his head to the side to see the same door frame. “What’s wrong?” Robbie asked.

Henrik didn’t answer.

Chase, sensing something bad, started walking towards the door frame and through it to the hallway. Jamie gently grabbed Robbie’s hand, and started following Chase through the hallway. As they walked down the hallway, they found Henrik staring at a couple piles of blood stains. “Is zhis…”

“-Where my Mommy and Daddy died?” Robbie finished, before looking down. “Yeah.”

Henrik bit his lip and looked at the big separate blood stains. The blood stains were somewhat splattered all over the place, yet it was still obvious there were 2 separate blood stains.

“Where’s your bloodstains?” Chase asked.

Robbie pointed to the blood stain on the right. “I fell near Mom close to here.” Robbie explained. Any other previous evidence was gone thanks to the police, and all that was left were slight chalk stains on the floor. “The knife was big. Everytime I moved, I could feel it moving around inside.” Robbie admitted.

Chase subtly curled up in paranoia. Getting stabbed from behind was one of Chase’s worst fears. And this kid actually lived to tell the tale. This kid has much more bravery than he does himself!

Meanwhile, Henrik had walked into the bedroom right near it. It looked to be a parents room. “I found somezhing else in Dawn and Austin’s room as vell.” Henrik told them.

“Why were you in Mommy and Daddy’s room?” Robbie asked.

“I vanted to learn a few more zhings about your parents.” Henrik replied. He soon walked out of the bedroom with a pile of papers, and a specific paper on the top. “Zhis vas found in a drawer vizh a gun.” Henrik told them.

“Oh yeah! Daddy always took his gun home. He said ‘no touching it’ to me. He let me look at it, but he never let me shoot with it.” Robbie admitted. Henrik grabbed the paper off the top and handed it to Jamie to read.

Jamie looked up and down the filled out paper. It appeared to be a criminal record sheet. Why did the man have a criminal record check in a drawer? And…

Oh no…

Jamie walked up to Chase and showed him the [Criminal History] chart. It was nearly filled from top to bottom with criminal offences! Chase widened his eyes as he checked the charges spot on the chart.

[Physical Assault] [Manhandling] [Physical Assault] [Misconduct] [Misuse of Firearms] [Misuse of Firearms] [Misuse of Firearms] [Misuse of Firearms] [Second Degree Murder]

Chase lowered the paper from his face. “Wow…”

Jamie gulped and looked at Henrik. Henrik was scratching the back of his head, unsure of what to do.

“What’s wrong?” Robbie asked.

Chase looked down at Robbie. He handed the paper to Jamie and picked Robbie up. “We found a paper about your Dad that worries us.” Chase explained.

Jamie’s jaw dropped. Did he seriously just tell him upright?! He’s 8!

“What was it?” Robbie asked.

Chase let out a breath. “It was a paper that all adults with jobs have to get. It’s called a record check. It’s a way to show job managers that the workers they hire, do not break the law.” Chase explained. Robbie nodded. “It was your Dad’s record check.” Chase said.

“Oh! That’s all? Okay. He’s not a bad guy. I know him.” Robbie told him.

Chase nodded and looked over at Jamie awkwardly. He seemed to have nothing to say. Or, perhaps he was too afraid to say anything. So...Jamie kept his hands to his sides and refused to sign anything on the subject.

Robbie soon walked away from the adults and wandered back into his own room. He grabbed one of the music boxes he used to love, and cranked the bottom metal twister. The song that played was a song that Robbie remembered all too well. It was a lullaby that his Mom had always sang to him when he struggled to sleep, and had always stuck with him since they died.

He listened to every note that played in the box. This music box’s note sheet was handmade by his mom. It had been a special birthday gift from her. The music box itself was painted by her as well and said ‘My Robbie Robbin’ on the top. It was a play on the name ‘Robbie Rotten’, and it had been one of the many nicknames she made up for him.

Robbie started to sing along to the melody when the song looped. 🎶You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You n-never know dear, how much I lo-love you. So please don’t t-take my s-sunsh-shine away.🎶 Robbie sang, his voice breaking as he felt tears well up in his eyes.

Chase, Jamie and Henrik listened to the heart-wrenching singing from the door frame. Immediately, Chase was the first to start crying. Jamie brought Chase into a hug and not long after, Jamie was crying too. It was Henrik that ended up walking up to the boy, kneeling down in front of him and pulling him into a hug. Robbie broke down crying almost immediately after he was comforted. Henrik held onto him for a good while before he cried and sobbed.

Robbie ended up crying in that old bedroom for a while. His cheeks were super stained with his salt water tears by the end, and his hair was a dusty mess. As a matter of fact, everyone’s hair was dusty after that trip. Everyone took a shower one at a time, and ridded their bodies and hair of the dust that accumulated in the house. The boys got dressed into their PJ’s, and Robbie decided to go to bed earlier than usual. Though this was a very unusual occurrence for a child, let alone Robbie, Chase let him go to bed early so he could process everything that happened.

Robbie laid with his dog stuffy Bacon in his hands, and silently cried to himself while the Sunshine music box played beside him on the bed. He missed them. He missed them so much. What did they do to deserve getting cut up so badly? Why did the man do it? Why them? And…why was Robbie the only survivor? Is there a secret behind his rare circumstance that Robbie isn’t aware of? Did the evil man who killed his parents know about it? And lastly: Was this turnout just a weird coincidence?

...Or planned?

#an unexpected roommate #chapter 10 #non-ticklefic #pure hurt/comfort #bittersweet

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futurebyparamore · 4 years

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hello I'm currently listening to waterparks demos

SO GOOD

OKAY THOUGHTS I would've done this yesterday but I was focused on Hayley

PERFECT POSTURE!!

I fucking love you!!

it sounds so sweet I'll die

it gives me nostalgia?? of I don't know what but I LOOOVE IT I love it okay

I'd follow you into my sudden doom UGH I LOVE THAT

I love aaaahh

LEMONADE

I LOVE LEMONADE I ALWAYS HAVE I wish it was longer but would it be as good if it was? idk

I angry stomp to this

I like demon awsten :) I feel like he's a demon here

Sorry As I'll Ever Be

oooh the sparkles OOH OH OH OH I LOVE

I'm bouncing :))) hey I walk myself home too

OH demon awsten again for a sec tho oh he's back

OOH NICE DRUMS

ending with sparkles nice :)

Last Heaven

feeling synthy

"I'm speaking dyslexic" I felt that bc I could not understand what he was saying hehe

okay I'm kinda sad :(

"you could be my last last heaven" :"(

the voicemails oooooh boy voicemails and shit GET ME

NOISE BOYS

THATS WHAT ITS CALLED OKAY

HEADBANGING ALL THE WAY

I AALWAYS START TO SMILE WHEN "it's 2018 and in my laptop screen / I'm tomorrow's fix and you're my future queen" LIKE I REALLY LOVE THAT PART

AND "I CAME I SAW MY FUNERAL" PUTTING THE FUN IN FUNERAL HUH

I love the lyrics in this song okay

"goodnight hey!" awsten sounds cute :)

cool demon voice :) and I love love love the ending with demon voice sounds so cool

TEENAGE JEALOUSY

IM KIND OF A WHORE FOR TRAP PARX I feel like it's hated among the fandom but I love

the little redaction :(: I like awsten

THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN ON FANDOM "IM GREEN WITH TEENAGE JEALOUSY" LIKE HELLO

kinda weird lol loved that makes me laugh

I love having Geoff name drops :)

"STUPID FOR YOU STUPID ME" :O I love when he does those

LIFE IS PUke

why the fuck is this motherfucker always coughing like get checked out

OKAY PRETTY SOUNDS!!

AH haha he's cool

READ My mind

I feel like my ears are being punched BUT I LIKE IT

then I feel like I'm in a video game :))) VIDEO GAME RUNNN

the riff reminds me of blink182 or something

GLITTER TIMES

I AM SO HAPPY WE GET THE FULL THING LIKE THIS IS WHAT IM MOST HAPPY ABOUT!! EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU AWSTEN!!! PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE EVERYTIME :) LIKE GLITTER TIMES IS REAL

ID SLEEP ON YOUR SIIIIIIIIIDEWALK UNTIL THE SUUUUUUUUN !!!! :D

are we the stupid girls tho?? prolly are I like that part tho it's cool and choppy and the guitars after!!! I LOVE THAT

"WHY LOVE MYSELF WHEN I FOUND YOU INSTEAD" I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THAT PART MAKES ME HAPPY AND SAD :(:

ugh okay I love the guitars

ugggh yes the punchies and then leading up to stupid girls part with guitars I LOVE

#waterparks #awsten knight #glitter times #talk too much #omg this is so long #don't read

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westcoastbroadway1443 · 5 years

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Be More Notes: my very long ramblings on BMC as I finally listen to the whole thing

Ok! I’m finally doing it! Now that the cast album is out I’m going to really give all of Be More Chill a listen, try to put the things that annoy me about the show aside, and give it a fair chance. And have decided to do running commentary here for the nobody who gives a shit lol. Going in I wanna say I’ve heard 4 full songs and random bits of other songs from the original soundtrack. And I’ll be listening now to the OBC album plus watching a b**tlg, I’m not totally sure when it took place I just know Will Roland is in it so at the very least New York. Keep in mind whatever I think of this show, if I end up hating it, if you like it you’re right. My opinion in no way invalidated anybody else’s or is above anyone else’s in my eyes, frankly I don’t enjoy not liking things, it just means I don’t get to come to the party and that’s not fun. So I might be poking fun at the show sometimes but if this speaks to you, that is fucking awesome! Also I’m old now and I guess no longer the target audience for stuff like this.

Spoilers for those who haven’t watched the show and don’t want to know stage stuff because I’ll be commenting on that. This ended up being really long, eh.

More Than Survive -ok this song I’ve heard before, and it both turned me off the show and also made me respect the hell out of it, because much like I give a salute to Black Mirror having the balls to make pig sex their pilot, I salute a musical that starts with jerking off -So far like Roland a little more than the previous guy. From what I’ve gathered from clips, while that dude is hella talented and cute as a button I kind of buy Roland as a terrified, desperate, frustrated high school kid more -Man I really do dig the hell out of the score and there is no denying this is catchy but some of these lyrics are so cringe -WHY IS A TEEN IN 2019 REFERENCING JOE PESCI?! -Ok I love the idea of a short bully calling somebody “tall ass” -I do like Jeremy’s body language better in this one. Also does he vocally remind anyone else of Max from Goofy Movie? Maybe this song just reminds me of “After Today” for no reason. -“super pimp” “mac daddy game”....OK! I’m going to try not to list every time I cringe. I just have questions -You don’t want to be Clooney...high school child in 2019 is Clooney really your reference for cool? Sorry I just struggle with this stuff because I keep hearing how this show is so in touch with kids these days but I just see:

-lol Michael came on and people went apseshit in the audience. All my nitpicks aside I bet this room probably has some great energy. -..Michael the clerk at 7/11 doesn’t pour your slushie, it’s self serve. Are you trying to seem cool to Jeremy right now? -Aah the boyfriend backpacks. I know of this ship -Yeah Christine brings the flutes!!! I was a flute player, we never get love -HAHA when Christine is doing her weird ass dance, in the recording I’m watching somebody right in front of the person recording just went “I don’t get this show”. Like me too darlin, but you got 2 hours left so suck it up -Oh but sir, check the playbill. The story is indeed about you -in summation this song kind of encapsulates everything I feel about this show, good performances and catchy as fuck and musically interesting and a lot of me asking “why”.

Play Rehearsal -Well Christine is adorable -wow wait what? wtf was that weird self harm comment??? Are we just gonna skip that??? -Ok I was a band kid in HS so I guess I don’t get this level of extra. Band rehearsal is just tuning and then fucking around until somebody makes you play Bach -...is Christine ok??? -Ok I think at least for now I may hate her. But I like that Jeremy likes her, likes her passion and such. I approve of her conceptually! I just don’t wanna be around her -I thought play rehearsal was gay, Rich?! WHAT YOU DOIN AT PLAY REHEARSAL RICH?! -...I mean I’ve seen Romeo and Juliet as a zombie wasteland movie, I would watch Midsummer zombies

More Than Survive Reprise -”least I didn’t have a breakdown and have to go the nurse” Ok fair, I can relate to that high school experience -this set is kind of working for me, basic but fun and the floor is neat -I know high school bullies are a thing I guess? But I always just saw them in movies? Now Middle School bullies were legit and terrible and I got the shit kicked out of me, but by HS I feel like everybody was too into their own shit to care much about anyone else?? Maybe that was just my school -Will Roland’s body language is real good in this show

The Squip Song -Oh! Surprise Rich lisp. Creative way to show how this thing alters you -..ok now we know about Rich’s dick size. I mean hon your short, maybe your penis is just proportionate? -DO I DETECT SOME THEREMIN IN THIS ORCHESTRATION?! Gimme all the theremin! -Ok so the squip made him be an asshole? Does he secretly want to be buddies with Jeremy? -Ok what the fuck are the people in the background doing here?!? -I know people ship Michael and Jeremy but I feel like Rich kinda wants to jump that tall ass??

Two Player Game -Ok the little sign for the game that came up was cute -These guys are kinda cute, even if I wish they’d tone down Michael’s “I’M QUIRKY!! YOU GET IT?!?” shtick -That is accurate! Y’all will be cool in college and I don’t see that brought up often -This is the first time I’ve found the choreography fun -...why is this dad allergic to pants?? -ah. Depression=no pants. And now I get why Jeremy’s so desperate not to stay as he is. Well points for making it not just about the girl -awww Michael is his bae -bro I’ve heard Loser Geek Whatever, you’re tellin lies right now to your buddy -LOL! WTF IS THIS WINDOWS SCREENSAVER OF A VIDEO GAME?!? -oh wow dancin went off the rails here at the end

Squip Enters -Mountain Dew? Well, better than Surge I guess. -Ok the Ecto Cooler line legit made me laugh. And I guess I could come down on the show for making Michael psyched about a drink that came out before he was born, but I have a pretty intense Crystal Pepsi obsession and that shit came out when I was maybe 4? So I get it Michael, you go enjoy your liquid ghosts -well that squip thing doesn’t look fun -Oooooh Ok Keanu is like factory setting, alright I’ll accept this. Though I will say this show would be 35% better if he was dressed like Keanu from Bill and Ted

Be More Chill Prt 1 -Hey stop shitting on Jeremy. I think I kinda like him -wow Keanu, I didn’t think you’d be so mean -I mean everyone chanting “everything about you sucks” is just how peeps with anxiety feel constantly. Eminem shirt ain’t gonna fix that -”Jerry-me” ok Will Roland is kind of making this work for me. -Him repeating everything the squip said is a fun little sequence. Like I dig this conceptually, scifi musicals are rare and can be neat - Lol the hate who they hate thing is pretty accurate

Do You Wanna Ride? -hey Jeremy what about Christiiiiine

Be More Chill Part 2 -the beginning of this song broke me a little. Hey! I’m feelin a thing! -this song is pretty fun! It works! -though the cast of like 10 people that just keep putting on different wigs make it feel like a high school play or a starkid production

Sync Up -ok so now I know I’m watching previews? Because sync up isn’t here -I do think this song is a really good addition. I mean it’s not like a stand out fantastic song but it does a good job getting across the themes and drives home the whole “everybody has problems” thing too which I like -Ok..dairy line was weird.

A Guy I Could Kinda Be Into -Ok the weird girl fighting stuff about Jake is unpleasant and sort of unnecessary -a squip gives you a deep voice and the ability to kinda do accents. Cool -ooo this is catchy, this is gonna make the spotify playlist -the goofy background hearts are cute. I still don’t know why she’s into Jake or why she’s friends with Jeremy or if they should be together since legit the only thing she thinks they have in common is theater which he doesn’t care about..but this song is still cute -lol squips understand friend zone

Upgrade -DID THIS SHOW JUST KILL EMINEM?! -How did the squip know that?! Does Eminem have a squip?? I mean it kinda makes sense.. -Don’t you see Jerbear?! The key to popularity is in this girl’s vagina! Happy they cut the “I’ll tenderly guide you just take me inside you” thing, little creepy -Why did Jake make a kicking motion to illustrate cricket? I’m like 85% sure Jake doesn’t know what cricket is... -the “feel all the feels” like is a little goofy but I really like the rewrite for this song, showing some depth of character. Good job, show! And I’m seeing some chemistry between these two, but I don’t know if I’m meant to? -Oh no! The whole “you looked at me” thing from Brooke was so sweet and sad. And the player two thing. Yeah this OG version of this song can go fuck off, the rewrite is a really good tune. I’ll admit the original maybe built up the horror a little, the squip sounds more threatening coming in at the end but I like where there going making this about everyone and not just Jeremy

Loser Geek Whatever -Squip blocked Michael?? You’re a dick, Keanu Reeves -I didn’t love this song when I first heard the single but hearing the version on the album and the stripped down piano version, I really really like it. Gives me some of those old geek feels from back in the day -sort of surprise by how little is happening on stage though? I sort of assumed something was happening as the song built? But nope, just Will rocking his wee heart out -LOL! What is Squip’s new outfit???

Halloween -Ah, it’s this show Big Fun. This is a lot catchier than Big Fun though -I went to exactly one of these kinds of parties in HS, just replace Halloween with punks after a rock show and add a lot more drugs. I didn’t hide in a bathroom but I did hide next to the stairs until my mom came and got me. Memories!! You know what this show is succeeding I suppose, it’s making me have HS feels -...is Jake dressed as Thomas Jefferson? -Jenna you’re too cute for that costume. You should get to wear something sexy too! Unless you just dig clowns in which case enjoy yourself hon -Ooooooh Prince, I get it -this is not this show’s fault at all but I struggle with dancing in shows. I mean the title of my blog is The Girl Who Used to Hate Musicals because I did, and while I love them now extended dancing sequences still take me out of a show real fast. I know I’m in the minority here -...what the fuck is that weird fuzzy thing with the big teeth -Hot damn! Go Rich! Dancin fool

Do You Wanna Hang? -I don’t like any part of this plot line... -Ok! Didn’t realized she was dressed like a “sexy baby” so the diaper line sort of horrified me. I mean it still does! I just understand it now

Michael in the Bathroom -hey the bathtub! Ok I know enough to know what happens now -Jeremy why you gotta be so mean -I mean what is there to say, great song. I wondered if they’d change anything for the new recording and I dig the arrangement, especially the stripped down acoustic guitar and piano parts!! Also as a lady who maybe once or twice since discovering this song has gotten tipsy and sung it karaoke-like, appreciate the slower and the higher. It’s not a lot, just a bit, but makes it less of a struggle to match. Thanks bro!

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (Reprise) -Finally! They’re both giant doofs but I see some connection! And I mean my roommate and I have noises we always make at each other like a call and response, so I gets it -He asked it! So proud. Rejected but proud of the boy, and rejected for good reasons

The Smartphone Hour -Heard part of this song before. Really like this Jenna more than original Jenna, her performance was a little much for me -This is one of those songs where I really do feel like I’m watching a HS original production..but a good one? Maybe cause I haven’t seen something like this on Broadway, but that’s a good thing. Always good to see new kinds of things on Broadway -lol what is the middle of this song?! I feel like I’m suddenly watching a cheer squad or like a John Waters inspired musical, which from what little I know of Joe Iconis I think he’d be cool with that comparison

The Pants Song -Jeremy don’t be mean to your dad! -Yipes is this the Break in a Glove or Dead Gay Son of BMC?? -....yeah it totally is -”Do you love him??” Has Jeremy’s dad finally given up on finding a girl in Jeremy’s room? -Ok ok I’m gettin the ship

The Pitiful Children -So squip just looks like this now, I thought maybe he was just being fancy for Halloween -Hot damn Jenna! Why were we savin that voice?! -I feel like I’m missing something with these weird hand motions the squip is always, do they actually mean something? -goosestepping...alright. Oh no Jeremy did the hand motions, I think that means a thing

The Play -Jeremy is being so creepy but he means well? I guess? -lol using the play to spread the squips is pretty clever -wtf red mountain dew? Really? You know what fuck it, discontinued drinks for the win. Maybe my saved bottles of Crystal Pepsi will stop an apocalypse one day! -Michael’s entrance was cute, and hey he just happens to have code red. I wish ecto cooler was what shut it off. -The glitching voice is crazy when Jeremy is fighting Michael and I love the way Jeremy is sort of bobbing up and down in fighting stance like a video game character, Fun touch -squip is making Jeremy go all Idle Hands! -I prefer the recording version of the guys making up, the whole “I just wanted to be liked” “I just wanted to be seen” thing -the squip has to be so extra even in death

Voices in My Head -hey lispy Rich is back! And bi now I guess? -Oh is that why people think Michael/Jeremy are a thing? The squip blocked Rich’s bi thoughts from him and it blocked Michael from Jeremy’s vision? I mean it would be an interesting story, I’d take it. -This might be my favorite song and I don’t really know why, I don’t super love that Jeremy still gets Christine in the end but I just love how this song sounds -I’ve never heard a character wearing pants get an applause? -improved lyrics in the Broadway version, and since it got more into the popular kids as people you can kinda see why they’d still stay friend with Jeremy -”I’ll throw you a rope home slice if you need some dope advice” like is this parody? What is this?? Well..still my fav song despite this line. A line they liked so much it’s the one original popular kid line they kept in the new version??? -don’t know if I see much future for these two, but Jeremy’s reaction to the kiss was cute -”Of the voices in my head the loudest one is mine” is my favorite line of the show -lol Rich’s little sneak hug. I feel like Rich always wanted to be friends with Jeremy? Or had a crush on him and that’s why his squip made him beat Jeremy up? Is this pairing a thing?

Final thoughts: This was so stupid long, nobody read this but that’s ok! It was fun to take notes anyway. Listening to it all, I liked it more than I thought I would, especially with the lyric changes. I don’t know if I would like it as much if it wasn’t Will Roland, the dude just really made this character likable when he could very easily not be. Some of the lines still bug me, there’s still a lot of cringe here but there’s also a lot of good stuff. This show introduced me to Joe Iconis and I’m slowly falling in love with him from his other work and CANNOT WAIT for Broadway Bounty Hunter because that sounds so like my jam. Overall I do get why people like this show, especially younger people because you can relate to the characters but maybe you want something a little peppier than DEH. I don’t think this is a soundtrack I’m going to ever listen to all the way through, but I’m for sure grabbing a handful of songs and sticking them on my musical play list. And when this thing goes on tour and ends up in LA, I think it would probably be worth checking out if I can, looks like a fun watch. Though with all the young fans and internet fans if they’re smart they’re gonna record this bitch.

#Be More Chill #BMC #joe iconis #Will Roland #musicals #musical review #jess babbles about a thing

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morbidsolemn · 6 years

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Only Heart

Chapter 1: Baby, I’m Begging You

A/N: Oooooh boy. So this is the really angsty fic I was talking about. Yes, I did name this fic after John Mayer’s song “Only Heart”. Each chapter title is a lyric from the song. Please listen to it, it is perfection. As always, thanks for reading, and please like and/or reblog!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Tags: angst, post-Civil War, married, kids

“Daddy!” You were in the kitchen when your daughter screamed with joy. You closed the fridge door, abandoning your search for tomatoes. You couldn’t help the skip in your step and the smile on your face as your heartbeat quickened loudly in your ears. But as you approached the living room, you realized the space was empty, save for your two kids. You were about to ask about the outburst when you noticed the news clip playing on the television. You stopped in your place when the clip was replaced with a picture of him.

“Captain Steven Rogers is still at large and considered armed and dangerous. Authorities have asked that you do not confront him or his-” While the reporter continued, photos of Sam and Bucky were also displayed. More clips began to play, but you rushed to turn off the television.

“What did I tell you?!” You inquired, desperately, your voice harsher than you had intended. Your son and daughter peered at you for a moment. “I said ‘Don’t change the channel.’” James looked down guiltily while Sarah continued to stare at you. “There are reasons we have these rules,” you kneeled down to get to James’s level. “Honey, these rules keep us safe.” You looked out of the window, noticing the moon gleaming in the night sky. “C’mon, it’s late,” you said, pushing off of your knees and picking Sarah up. You hoisted her to your hip and held James’s hand as you led them to their rooms. Over your shoulder, Sarah turned to the TV and pouted.

“Daddy!” She squealed. You patted her back, but your soothing attempts weren’t enough to stop the bursting tears that spilled from her eyes. You bit your tongue and winced at the sound of her wailing. You opened James’s bedroom door and motioned sternly for him to sit inside. You continued to pat Sarah’s back, whispering caring words of “It’s okay” and “Shh, it’ll be alright.” When you laid her shaking body on her bed, her lip was still quivering, but the crying had stopped. You sat at the edge of her bed, playing with her tiny fingers.

“I know you miss him, kitten; I do, too.” You said, softly, willing away your own tears. She looked up at you, the blue of her eyes electrified by her recent crying.

“I want Daddy.” She enunciated her words clearly, and normally you would have proud of her if her wish hadn’t been so damn heartbreaking. She waited a moment, expecting you to give in and magically pull her father from a hidden closet like a magician. When no trick ensued, she folded her tiny arms across her chest and turned away from you. Steve had once said she had learned that from you, to which you crossed your arms across your chest and walked away from him. You sighed and pulled the covers around your daughter. She remained quiet and didn’t move. You pulled her favorite stuffed animal, a pink kitten with a purple nose, from her shelf and placed it her hands. She hugged the kitten close to her, and you knew she’d be alright in the morning. You closed the door and sighed. James would be a lot harder to console.

You knocked on his door. No reply sounded from within. “James, I’m coming in,” you announced. When no complaint was heard, you entered. James was sitting on his bed, holding a framed picture, with his legs dangling on the side. You sat next to him and took the picture frame from his hands. It was a photograph of you and Steve standing behind a two-year-old James. It was before Sarah was born and a few months after you had bought the house. It had taken those few months to convince Steve to repaint the house a color that wasn’t a lackluster white. The picture was taken while you and Steve were painting and James was playing in the front yard. Your white tee shirt and jeans were splattered with yellow paint, but you had considered yourself lucky because on Steve’s face was a yellow partial handprint from you. The handprint was clear in the picture and you smiled fondly at the memory. You handed the frame back to your son. “I don’t know when he’s coming back, honey.” You moved the hair out of your eyes and laid your hands on your lap. James kept his eyes trained on the photo.

“Is Dad a criminal?” He tried to sound indifferent, so much older than he was, but the shake in his voice was more than enough.

“No.” You said, firmly. “Your father is a good man.”

“The news lady said he was a criminal.”

“And that’s why I told you not to change the channel.” You sighed. You could avoid the question all you wanted, but this question was bound to arrive sometime. “Dad stood up for something he believed in. Something was going on in the world, and he believed that he had to stop it. He took a stand, but in the end, he didn’t win. And because he lost, he can’t come home right now.”

“Why did Dad have to stop it?”

“Because he knew what was happening was wrong.” You held James’s hand, urging him to look at you. “You should always stand up for what you believe in. If you don’t protect your beliefs, then you don’t have any.” You dropped the ethics voice and pulled him in for a hug. “It’s going to be okay.” You whispered to him, almost trying to convince yourself. You lifted the covers and he slid into the bed. You tucked him in, giving him another hug before getting up to leave.

“Is Dad ever coming home?” You paused at the door. You could lie, and tell him that Steve would be home soon. Or you could tell him your truth that he wouldn’t be home for a long, long time.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

***

You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. In the early months, you would abandon your normal side of the bed to sleep on Steve’s side, close your eyes, and breathe him in. But now, the smell of him was long gone. You stared at the circular patterns on the ceiling. In the beginning, you found yourself with red, puffy eyes in the morning after crying through the night. Now, however, your eyes were dry and your heart was empty. The foam of the paint rollers had imprinted on the white paint. When Steve left, the pain was fresh and raw, squeezing you like a vice. It left you numb and unfeeling. When you saw his face on the TV, your heartbeat increased, sure, but only because you were concerned for your kids.

You screwed your eyes shut. You had been trying to avoid this moment for so long. You never wanted them to find out about Steve like this. After he left, you had told them that he was on another mission. You and Steve had elected to be open with your kids, but the recent accusations of treason had prevented you from doing so. You knew that if he was brought up, the act would be up and tears would flow.

In the past month, you had convinced yourself that you no longer cared for Steve Rogers and that your kids were the only connection between you two. You twisted the ring on your finger, sliding it slowly to your middle knuckle and then back down. As you slid it back down, you remembered when Steve had placed it there himself. Later that day, when you two were lying in bed, he had pulled your hand over to him, pushing the ring up and down your finger as you currently were doing.

“Wow,” he said, in a daze, staring at your hand. “I can’t believe you said yes.” You laughed and turned, placing your right hand on his face. You pulled him towards you and kissed him softly.

“Yes, you can. There’s no way I would’ve said no.”

The smile on your face was soft. Maybe you only felt that you didn’t love him anymore because he had been gone for so long. It had been a year. You stopped twisting the ring and turned your side as if turning away from the thought. You closed your eyes, but sleep didn’t come easy.

***

“James, hurry up, you’re going to be late!” You called out from Sarah’s room, where you were struggling to get her dressed. “Okay, sit over there, I’ll do your hair.” She sat down, wordlessly. “Still not talking to me, huh?” You smiled smugly, as you tied her hair into two pigtails, her favorite hairstyle. She gasped as she looked in the mirror, turned around and hugged you.

“I love you, Mommy!” You laughed and picked her up, carrying her down the stairs. James was already at the breakfast table with a bowl of cereal that was surrounded by spilled milk and cheerios.

“Sorry, Mom,” he muttered, getting up to clean his mess.

“Don’t worry about it, puppy.” You placed Sarah in the high chair and brought a paper towel over. You poured a handful of cheerios on the highchair table for Sarah and then you began to soak up the milk. After cleaning up the mess, you poured some coffee into your thermos. “Go put on your shoes. And help your sister.” You opened the high chair and set Sarah on the ground. She offered her hand to James, who took it with a grumble and led her out of the kitchen. You smiled at the interaction and poured milk into your thermos. You grabbed your bag and saw your kids sitting on the couch, swinging their little legs back and forth. ”At least they have their shoes on,” you thought. “Where are your bags?” Sarah pointed across the room. You grabbed the two backpacks and opened the front door, watching James and Sarah hurry out the door. You closed the door, locking your house door and unlocking your car simultaneously. You shook your head at the sight of James struggling to open the car door. You opened it for him, letting him sit in the car seat, while you buckled Sarah into the booster seat. You laid their bags in the middle seat, watching James buckle himself in.

After dropping James off at pre-school and Sarah off at daycare, you arrived to work only four minutes late. You entered your office, sighing as you sank into your seat. You had just settled down from your sprint inside when your work phone rang. You jumped in your seat, homicidal rage flowing through your veins. You breathed slowly, quelling your anger. You picked up the phone, raising it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Y/N.” You froze with your eyes wide. Steve called every few months, but lately, the frequency of his calls had decreased. He hadn’t ever called your office phone, either. The two of you had worked out a routine for phone calls. He would use a burner; communication would be in code and last less than two minutes.

“How’s the weather?” you asked, regaining your composure. What’s wrong?

“A bit cloudy.” We might be in trouble.

“Well, it’s sunny over here.” You spat. Your family’s fine, thanks for asking.

“Wish you were here,” he laughed. I need to see you.

“I might need an umbrella,” the words were slow and careful. Do I need protection?

“No, it looks like the clouds are gone, it’s pretty sunny now. Still wish you were here.” We’re good now, but I still need to see you.

“Gotta go. I’m getting coffee at 10.” Café in 10 minutes. The line disconnected and placed the phone on the receiver with shaking hands. You pushed away from the desk, grabbed your bag, and exited the building.

***

The small metal table had two chairs and so you sat down in one. You cradled the warm coffee in your hands. You were wearing large sunglasses that gave you a sense of anonymity. From behind their tinted lenses, you looked from person to person, gauging the possibility that they were undercover agents. Amid your survey, Steve sat down in front of you. He was wearing a baseball cap and glasses.

“That’s really stupid disguise,” you whispered. You placed the coffee down on the table. He picked up your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles, reveling in the feel of your skin.

“I know,” he smiled, and, even after everything, after the emptiness, the tears, the heartbreak, you smiled, too. You leaned forward, placing your lips against his, screwing your eyes shut after he began to move against you. An alarm went off in your brain and you pulled away. You wiped the tears from your face and Steve held your hand tighter, peering at you with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” you sniffled, shaking your head. “Every-” In the middle of your sentence, Steve shot out of his seat, pushing the table on its side and grabbing you. A bullet whistled past, and you kept your head down, curled on the ground with Steve over you.

“You okay?” He asked, from behind you. You nodded quickly. “C’mon,” He grabbed your hand and you were up and running. Steve identified three snipers from the roofs of surrounding buildings. Five agents ran towards you from all directions. You recognized two of them from the bakery across the street. A van pulled up and Steve pushed you towards it. You saw Sam jump out from the back and recognized the driver as Bucky from the photos Steve had shown you. Bucky hopped out of the vehicle as well and joined Sam and Steve. You ran to the van and climbed into the back, tucking yourself into the corner furthest from the action. You didn’t consider yourself a damsel in distress, but at the moment, you were weaponless and you weren’t exactly a hand-to-hand combatant. You heard a few more gunshots, the sickening sound of cracking bones, and several thuds as bodies hit the pavement. A few moments later, the three men piled into the van. Bucky resumed his duties as driver and Sam joined him in the passenger seat. Steve stayed in the back with you.

“Are you okay?” He asked. You realized that you hadn’t missed Steve’s eyes because now it was like looking into James’s, the same concern in the same sea of blue.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. Sam turned around from his seat.

“How you doing, Y/N? It’s been awhile.”

“When I said you should visit sometime, I didn’t mean like this,” you joked. Sam laughed.

“I’m Bucky, by the way.” Bucky looked up at the rearview mirror to make eye contact with you.

“Y/N. It’s great to finally meet the guy I named my son after.” You smiled.

“I really thought Steve was joking about that. That’s fantastic.” He smiled, brightly. “And I’m real sorry about this.” Before you ask what he’d meant, Bucky ripped the steering wheel to the side, spinning the van around. “Gotta lose this tail. Hold on.” Before you could be pushed over to the other side of the van, Steve grabbed your waist and held onto you.

“I got you,” he smiled, but you pulled away from him and his smile dropped. “What’s wrong?” He frowned.

“I’m fine.” You crossed your arms over your chest. Steve fought another smile that dared to cross his face.

“Listen, I’m sorry about how this all played out, but-”

“It was a trap!” You yelled, unable to control your outrage. “You knew you were in trouble, but you told me to meet you anyway!”

“Y/N, I know, but you were never in danger. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you!” Steve explained. The van took another sharp turn off the highway, losing two of the three remaining cars.

“You know? You know?” You repeated, incredulously. “Oh, so you know that you led your wife into a trap? That you used her as bait?” You laughed bitterly. “It’s all fine, as long as you knew.”

“We had to check if our lines of communication were compromised. I knew that you’d be perfect for it, and I knew that I’d protect you,” he stressed.

“I’d say I’m surprised that you’d put your family on the line for your own sake, but I’m really not surprised.”

“Not this again,” Steve groaned.

“Yes, this again!” you yelled. “You could’ve taken the same deal that Scott and Clint took, but of course you didn’t! Because staying true to your cause is so much more important than being there for your family!”

“It’s not that easy, Y/N!” Steve yelled back. “Not everything is black and white!”

“Yes it is, Steve! It is that easy! It’s not for you, because you’re not there when Sarah cries because she thinks I’m keeping her father from her, or when James asks me if his father’s a criminal! It’s not easy for you because if you were there for all of that, you’d make this decision in a heartbeat!

“There was no guarantee that I’d get the same deal!

“Yeah, but there would’ve been a chance! And if you really cared about us, you’d’ve taken that chance! But you didn’t, Steve, because you don’t give two shits about us!” Steve looked at you. You had seen him hurt, bones broken, bruised and bleeding, but you had never seen him hurt like this.

“You really think that?” His voice was soft, barely there, and you almost broke down. You almost fell into him, sobs racking your body as your tears soaked his shirt, apologies spilling from your mouth. Almost.

You took a breath, your eyes trained on him, and clenched your jaw. “I do. And you know what else I think?” You placed your right thumb, index, and middle fingers on the ring on your left hand, twisting it off your finger like you had last night. Only this time, you pulled it off your hand completely. Steve tipped his head back imploringly; silently asking you not to do what you both knew was coming. “I don’t want to be your wife anymore, Steve. I give up.” You dropped the ring to the bottom of the van. The sound of it clinking against the metal covered the sound of your hearts breaking. Steve grabbed it and looked back at you.

“Y/N…” And now his eyes looked just like Sarah’s had last night: a brilliant blue electrified by tears. You held back your sobs and looked over at Bucky.

“The other car’s gone,” you noted after double checking through the windows. “Just let me out here.” The van stopped on an empty road. Bucky and Sam looked back at Steve and you but hesitated to interfere. For that, you were grateful. You opened the back door and turned to Steve before you left. He picked his head up, hopeful as to what you might say. “I’m sorry” or “This is a mistake” or “I love you, just come home.” Instead, you screwed your eyes shut and pressed your lips together. “I can’t,” you whispered, before turning away and closing the door. Steve held onto the ring as the van drove away, leaving you alone in the street.

~~~

Read Chapter 2 here.

If you would like to be tagged in the upcoming chapter(s), please send me an ask!

#steve rogers #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america x reader #mcu #marvel #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #marvel fics #mcu fics #steve rogers fics #captain america fics

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captainfawful · 5 years

Text

With the year coming to a close, that means it’s time for me to do my “Nobody Cares Awards” thing I like to do! Check under the cut for some hot takes I may or may not have!

Hello, hello! It’s me again! Third year in a row I decided to jot my thoughts down on the years various game. I decided to change things up more from last year, kind of eliminating most of the categories in favor of writing more about the games I enjoyed. I tried to write at least something about every game in the Top 10 this time, even if it’s the bare minimum. Let’s see how it goes!

BEST MUSIC

This entire thing was first created because I wanted to write about how good Death Road To Canada’s soundtrack was. So no matter what changes with my format on this, there will always be a Best Music category. I’ll be honest though, there weren’t a whole lot of games this year with amazing soundtracks. The only real contender for most of the year was Celeste, which OST is very good, and fits perfectly with the games tone and style, but it’s not... The Best music. They aren’t songs I’ll put on loop and listen to multiple times throughout the day. They’re not the hard hitting tracks I would typically put at the top of this category, despite how great the music is. That’s how I felt until about August, when The Messenger came out. Messenger is not a game that will be in my Top 10 by any means, but it’s a pretty good game nonetheless with a couple of really weird twists. But the OST is phenomenal. Easily my number 1 favorite of this year. Just about every track in the game is a total banger. But don’t take it from me, take a listen yourself! A little later in the year I played through Just Shapes & Beats. I have a personal stigma against saying a thing with licensed music should qualify for Best Music, which is why JS&B did not make it into my top 3, but rest assured that it is sitting comfortably in the 4th place spot. Almost immediately after I played JS&B, Deltarune suddenly came out. I don’t think I have to tell you why that’s on here, right? Toby Fox cannot make bad music.

SPECIAL MENTIONS

THE MISSING:J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories

It’s hard for me to talk about what makes The Missing so special without diving deep into spoilers. There’s a reason it’s in the special mentions, and not the Top 10: And that reason is because the gameplay isn’t great. The Missing is a side-scrolling puzzle game, in the same vein as Limbo or Inside. Unlike those two, however, the puzzles you have to solve are not that hard, and most of the difficulty around it revolves around how slowly and janky the movement is. However, the overall story and twist is what makes this game great. There’s not a whole lot for me to say about the themes this game presents, so if you want to play The Missing, play it. If you don’t want to play it, then maybe take a look at some writings from actual queer women who could talk about its subject matter in a way I never possibly could.

The Quiet Man

The Quiet Man is a terrible game. When I first saw the trailer during Suare Enix's E3 presentation, I was super interested. I've always wanted a game that transitions from FMV to gameplay with as few seams as possible, and The Quiet Man promised that. Not only that, it promised a compelling story told from the perspective of its' deaf protagonist. The way I saw it, this game would either accomplish what it set out to do, or fail miserably. Either way, it was a win/win scenario for me! Little did I know just HOW miserably it would fail.... Oooooh, how miserably it failed... The gameplay is absolute trash, the graphics leave much to be desired which makes the "seamless" transitions from FMV look unconvincing and bad, the story is needlessly complicated despite how generic it is, the acting ranges from decent to awful, and it requires you to play it twice in order to actually understand what's happening. And all of those problems are the LEAST offensive parts of the game. It's racist, misogynistic, somehow ableist against more than just deaf people, semi-incestual, and also kind of pro-abuse??? I mean, it doesn't take a stance to be anti-abuse, and certainly doesn't condemn abuse, so does that make it pro? Maybe? Probably? I have a headache. I've watched this entire 2-4 hour game be played 10 or 11 times, and I still don't understand how this exists. Square-Enix published this. They dropped Hitman and IO Interactive not even one year ago, yet threw money at this horrible abomination of a video game! Oh by the way, you might be wondering why I said you have to play it twice to understand, and that's because the first playthrough doesn't give you any sound. Yup, aside from the intro cutscene and the credits song, the entire games' audio is just muffled ambiance. This includes all of it's cutscenes, of which there are MANY, and they are LONG. Entire MINUTES of dialogue happening at a time that the game just doesn't want you to hear or have subtitles for. The only way to get audio is to beat the game once and replay it. Not only that, but the New Game + with sound and subtitles didn't even get patched in until a week after it's release!!! Who does that!!!!! And the version with audio has some ATROCIOUS writing. Just about every scene has at least one line of dialogue that makes no sense, almost as if the writers were only told about how humans speak, but never actually heard one themselves. I’ve heard a lot of people saying it’s The Room of video games, and I sort of agree. Much like The Room, it’s not the absolute worst of it’s form of media, the game is playable start-to-finish, extremely straight forward so you can’t get lost, no bizarre puzzles to figure out, the FMV cutscenes are at decently produced. Hell, I wouldn’t even say The Quiet Man is the worst game to come out THIS YEAR. Crying Is Not Enough released in June, and boy oh boy is that game a trash fire. But it’s just BAFFLING that this game exists. That’s the perfect word to summarize my feelings on The Quiet Man. Every single thing about it is just, baffling. I need to stop writing about this game. This whole paragraph is probably going to be longer than anything from my Top 10, which feature a few games I ADORE, but no. All my writing energy is going to how terrible this fucking video game is. Don't play The Quiet Man. Or do, fuck if I care. Maybe watch someone else play it, I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

Ori and the Blind Forest

Back on the topic of good games, I finally got around to playing Ori and the Blind Forest! I played it for a little while after it originally came out around 2015, but it just didn’t stick with me at the time. There wasn’t any real reason why it didn’t stick, I just got bored and stopped playing, which isn’t that uncommon for me to do. But for whatever reason I decided to go back to it super late last year. It may have been the excitement for all the cool looking Metroidvanias slated to release throughout the year, I don’t know. But I played through it, and it’s fantastic! Most Metroidvanias tend to go with around a 60-40 split between platforming and combat. Different games have different splits, sure, but most of them tend to keep those somewhat even. Ori is like an 85-15, greatly favoring tight platforming over fighting enemies. Your main attack automatically locks on to nearest enemies, and boss fights are replaced with autoscrolling or stealth segments. The traversal is also super smooth and fun, making that 85-15 split much more favorable than others in its’ genre. Great controls combined with some amazing visuals and music, Ori is definitely a game I regret not playing earlier.

2019′S COMING IN HOT

Spelunky 2, Wargroove, Indivisible, Hypnospace Outlaw, Ooblets, UFO 50, Kingdom Hearts 3, Overland, Sea of Solitude, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, and Get in the Car, Loser!. These are all great looking games that are supposed to be coming out in 2019. I remember last December when I last did this, I couldn't think of THAT many games I was really excited for, and despite that I ended up with a pretty damn good list of games for 2018. So who knows what next year will be like?!

And now... The Top 10!

#10: Spider-Man

It’s been a great year for Spider-Man. His best buddy Venom had a pretty good movie, his new video game is good, and he has a new movie that’s fantastic! Yep, it’s been such a good year for Spider-Man in which nothing bad has happened to him or the people who created him.

#9: Megaman 11

2 > 4 > 3 > 8 > 11 > 7 > 5 > 6 > 9 > 10 > 1. Don’t @ me.

#8: Iconoclasts

Iconoclasts has been in development for a very long time. Officially, development for it began in around 2010, but there is a seemingly earlier game by Konjak that shares many similarities. Basically, Iconoclasts began development at least 8 years ago, and it shows, for better or worse. On one hand, the game is gorgeous. Grade A sprite work all around. The characters are interesting and well written with their own morales and arcs, and the story is surprisingly deep and compelling considering the type of game it is. On the other hand, the gameplay feels very outdated now. The combat is super simplistic, the puzzles aren't terribly challenging or rewarding, and the weapon/ability upgrades are very limited. The traversal can be sluggish and boring, which is a red flag for a game where you have to backtrack a decent amount. If Iconoclasts came out 4 or 5 years ago, I feel like it would've been at least a cult classic. But in 2018, it's a decent Metroidvania in a year of great Metroidvanias. Overall, I'm glad Iconoclasts finally came out. I just wish it either came out sooner, or got more updated for modern game design.

#7: Slay the Spire

For all intents and purposes, I shouldn't like Slay the Spire. I always hated card-based RPGs, and always hated RPGs with only one party member. And for the most part, the issues I have with both of those are still very much present in Spire. So why have I sunk 50 hours into it so far? Beats me! If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the similarities it shares to Darkest Dungeon, one of my favorite games, that ultimately drives me to it. Now, you might be asking why Slay the Spire, a game that came out in 2017, and won’t be in 1.0 until probably 2019, is in my top 10 for this year, but Ori & the Blind Forest isn’t? Well, I started Ori last year, and didn’t start Spire until the middle of this year! Also, they’re my awards, and I can do whatever I want!

#6: Just Shapes & Beats

Just Shapes & Beats’ concept is simple: A rhythm bullet hell. Certainly not the first of it’s kind, and not even the first one to use simplistic shapes as the obstacles/characters. But there’s a bit more to it than that. JS&B has some good personality to go with it. It has some fun characters, all of the levels are demonstrative of the areas you’re in on the world map, it even has a couple lightly emotional moments! It’s much more than you’d expect from a game about Just Shapes & Beats. When I was younger and had vague dreams to make games, I always imagined making one that was basically “What if a Windows Visualizer was trying to kill you?” and also be themed around a world and a story, and JS&B is basically that.

#5: Pipe Push Paradise

What happens when you take Pipe Dream, an iconic puzzler which has given inspiration to countless others, and mix it with Stephen's Sausage Roll, arguably one of the greatest puzzle games of all time? You get Pipe Push Paradise, of course! That’s all I really have to say, and all I NEED to say.

#4: Dead Cells

Go play Dead Cells. Really, it’s the closest thing to a perfect Rogue-like (that isn’t Spelunky) out there right now. It’s a game so good, Filip Miucin couldn’t look away from it long enough to write his own review!

#3: Subnautica

If I had the opportunity to become a Fishman and live underwater, I’d probably take it. As long as you take out the jellyfish that can kill you .0001 seconds after stinging you, I have no qualms with open water. In fact, the isolated feeling from it is really relaxing to me. That’s what initially drew me to Subnautica. Survival games are usually hit or miss for me, but the ones I like I really dive deep into (Heh heh), and Subnautica is one of those. Also, I was rewatching the Super Mario Bros. Super Show on Netflix as I played this, so now I’ll have those two permanently linked in my mind from now on.

#2: Into The Breach

I love tactics games, especially Advance Wars. While I do still love others in the genre like Fire Emblem or X-COM, there are some intricacies of the AW series that most of the others don't have. When I first heard about Into The Breach, I thought it would be exactly what I wanted, a true successor to the series I'd been waiting for. And it was not! But it's still pretty damn good. It's not so much a tactics game as it is a puzzle game, described by Waypoint's own Austin Walker as a "tactical dance". You know at the start of each turn where each enemy is going to attack, and it's your job to navigate and attack with your 3 mech units in the exact right way to minimize or even straight up prevent any damage that would befall you or the cities you're protecting. You aren't trying to advance a map during combat, or conquer any enemy bases. You are merely trying to avoid damage for a certain amount of turns and move on to the next level. And it's all super fun! I've let the game sit for 10, 20 minutes while I try and figure out every possible option I have after being backed into a corner, and coming up with the absolute perfect solution and getting through to the other side is super satisfying. The biggest gripe I have with Into The Breach is the same one I had for FTL, the developer's last game, which is I don't think the unlockable mechs/mech teams are as fun as the default ones. I played most of them once or twice and went "Yeah, that's a thing" and migrate back to the first mech team. All in all, Into The Breach is a fantastic game, it just doesn't scratch that Advance Wars itch I've been feeling. Oh well, at least there's still Wargroove!

#1: Celeste

Celeste is a game I got 100% completion in. For those of you who might not know me well enough to know how I play games, that’s something that never happens. I think the last time I purposely got 100% on a game was in Uncharted 2, and even that was only to get a skin for multiplayer. Despite that, it’s been really difficult for me to write up a whole thing about why I love Celeste so much. It’s just a compilation of everything. I love the look of it, both the sprite work and the character portraits. The music, as mentioned before, is fantastic and perfectly fitting for all of the levels themes which deal in different forms of anxiety or self-doubt. The levels are hard, but not too hard. The secrets hidden throughout the game are so satisfying to figure out and find, very reminiscent of Braid. I feel confident in saying that Celeste has cemented itself as one of my favorite games of all time.

Well, that’s all I can handle writing for this year. Thanks to the few of you who skimmed through all this, and extra thanks to the fewer of you who read all of it! I’m not 100% sure if I’ll do this whole shpeel next year or not; maybe if 2019 turns out to be an incredible year for games, and definitely not if I have to move to Twitter in the off-chance Tumblr dies out completely. Hope you all had a fun holiday season, and have a great 2019!

#dont reblog pls #long post #very rare personal post???

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kaijusplotch · 5 years

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Music Video Madness (Drabble/introducing a new muse)

Crimson Typhoon had been encouraged to keep an eye on her two ‘roommates’ by the PPDC. She didn’t have much of a complaint about that at first, after all Splotch was a wildcard; a true Kaijin developed by the Precursors for some reason or another. As for Chuck, he was a former pilot and there was evidence that isolation from former drift partners could cause mental degradation and illnesses.

But Ty also knew why else they wanted to keep an eye on them. The growing new political influences in the PPDC were wanting to make sure that Splotch and Chuck would not become dangerous; or perhaps could be used. She did not agree with that growing thought of weaponizing or developing Kaijin warriors. No doubt they also wanted her to continue to be a good jaeger, and potentially see if human sized Jaegers could be used in potential wars.

She kept in contact with Marshall Hansen and the other surviving Kaiju War pilots more than the new administration; and with the assistance of Dr. Gottlieb; connected to the large secure server room where the Jaeger Black Boxes were held.

She sat at her desk and smiled as she hit record. “Hello, everyone. I hope you enjoy these latest videos. I caught Splotch and Ranger Hansen unawares.” she laughed and relaxed. “I hope the videos bring you some joy. Maybe one day you will be willing to join the mobil Jaeger Program Dr. Gottlieb has. Humanity has changed so much in so few years. Anyway. Enjoy.” she waved at the camera and uploaded the videos from her internal databases.

~*~*~*~*~

“Be careful makin’ wishes in the- DARK DARK! Can’t be sure when they’ll hit their - MARK MARK!”

The camera slowly crept closer to the singing and music that was coming from a door. It was clearly Chuck’s voice; the small rumble of deeper and larger vocal cords harmonizing with ones meant for speech.

“An’ Besides in the mean-mean time i’m just dreamin’ of tearing you apart!”

The camera, Typhoon’s own lense, gave a small shake as she giggled; before opening the door.

There, dancing in a pair of pajama pants with a hole cut for his tail, was Chuck Hansen. He was blasting an old Fall Out Boy song, shaking his hips and singing loudly as he played ‘air guitar’.

“So light em up up up, light em up up up! light em up up up, I'm on fire!!!” Chuck spun around and spotted Typhoon, his scaled cheeks darkening as he realized she was watching. “HEY!

“SORRY! I had to get this on camera!” Typhoon laughed before running off hearing Chuck angrily chasing after her.

“FOOKIN’ DELETE THAT TY!!”

The camera cut off with a squealing laugh from the Jaeger.

~*~*~*~*~

The camera again was walking toward another room, this one with a few Kaiju stickers on it. From inside there was a bright and bouncy song playing and Typhoon opened it.

“I HAD A DREAM SO BIG AND LOUD, I jumped so high i touched the clouds! Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oooooh!” Splotch’s voice fit the American Author’s song, and when he spotted Typhoon he grinned and waved her in.

“Get my good side, Red!” He beamed and continued to dance. “We danced with monsters through the night, woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oooooh!”

“Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh.” Typhoon joined in and laughed, letting the Kaijin take her hands and dance with her in his room.

Splotch continued to sing, Typhoon joining in with her until someone through something at their window.

“SHUT UP!!”

“FOOK OFF!” Chuck cried from the living room at the street. Typhoon and Splotch laughed before continuing to dance with no intentions of stopping.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The depths of the Pacific, and even the Marianas trench, made it difficult to connect to anything in the broken Hive in his mind. He swam languidly; feeling lost as he continued upward; toward the surface.

He had been re-built from scraps at the old facility; but woke up with old orders after it’s destruction. So he continued to guard it until the orders lost their power; and the loneliness of the empty Hive drove him to find something to connect to.

Then; a whisper. Something electronic; something different but similar to the empty Hive. This was like water he was in; flowing around him with memories of so many. He swam farther to the surface; unwary of his massive size. He NEEDED this.

/I know we’re missing so many of our families, but we have each other to heal. I’m always here for you, in the Drift./

The Drift. Yes! YES! He remembered that! Another hive, but so much more! something that was special between three, not hundreds or thousands. He paused and reached through the drift, finding something that felt familiar. A name?

Hansen...no...yes. that wasn’t his name but....it was a NAME that was HIS. His family. Hercules and...Chuck! Yes! There was another, not as strong; not his identity; but another family member. Hercules loved this one, Chuck respected....Pentacost....Marshall Stacker Pentacost.

He mentally purred at the memories coming forward, remembering being painted with Max’s face on his chest, the bull dog barking near his bay. Yes...this was family.

“Strikah...”

“What?”

“Strikah Eureka. that’s his name. A real Bastard don’tchya think?” chuck grinned at his father. “He’ll be mine. once you retire i’ll get right hemisphere.”

“Cocky little shit. Hopefully we end this before i retire.”

STRIKER EUREKA. His four eyes snapped wide. That was his name. THAT was who he was! Memories poured back in, and there was a bit of shock in the Drift, another Jaeger; familiar but distant and healing; reaching to him. Seven...Lucky Seven yes...his predecessor. a part of him from before he existed.

He was different now. Not a Jaeger really...and not really a Kaiju...something that the Precursors made to guard their facility. He knew his size, so close to being a full Jaeger or larger, would make him a target.

But the new thing in the drift...the videos...Typhoon, he remembered her! She was small now? and...That was chuck! He knew his pilot! CHUCK WAS ALIVE! He couldn’t stay in the depths any longer.

He remembered something from when he was re-made; pulled open the breach technology in his chest and shrank down, smaller and smaller. Until he was just under six feet long from nose to tail.

He swam as fast as he could toward Hong Kong; toward where his Pilots were, where the Drift was pulling him. Back home. that’s all he wanted.

(OOC: So i’ll be re-vamping this page probably slowly over the next few days to re-do the dossies on Splotch, Chuck, Typhoon, and now Striker Eureka (who is a Breach-Jaeger). So YAY! If anyone wants to play with Striker lemme know! the boy bleps so adorably)

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lifeisafunnyplace · 5 years

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It’s amazing how sometimes everything is too good to be true, like one of those fairy tales where the sky is blue, everyone are singing and the good beats the evil. When it is a dream of soft grass and laughter and the one you love, loves you back, but you never wake up because it is not a dream.

Running between tall trees, stumbling over rocks and slipping on wet grass felt oddly familiar, Chanyeol just couldn’t point out how. Baekhyun were smaller and faster than him, leaded the way but held his hand tight all the time. Except from when Chanyeol used his strength and pulled at the smaller so that he could wrap him in his arms to kiss him again.

The boy was intoxicating. The way his lips automatically pouted when expecting a kiss, the round, soft cheeks he could push his thumbs into and those eyes. It was impossible to look away. When Baekhyun looked at him, every single of the stars drizzled over his skin started to tingle. His heart had never felt this whole ever before.

Baekhyun fit perfectly in his arms. He wanted to come closer, he needed them to be closer. Each time one of his hands slid down to feel the soft curve of the others butt and his fingers curled around the base of the strong tail, jolts of electricity shot through his body before they exploded in his lower stomach.

Bright laughter pulled him out of the moment time after time. They had to continue, not that Chanyeol knew for what or where to. All he knew was that he wanted to be around his golden boy, that’s all that mattered. Even when a heavy door shut close behind his back, it took some time before Chanyeol felt the need to lift his head and have a look around.

Bright music bounced off the walls, mixed with high-pitched laughter and darker voices rumbling over the wooden floor. As his eyes started to adapt to the lack of daylight, he discovered how big the place was, large chandeliers draping the chamber in a soft light. Along the walls there were massive wooden dining tables packed with everything your heart and tongue could desire. The room was filled with all kind of creatures and humans, feasting, dancing, and simply having the night of their life.

No one lifted an eyebrow at Chanyeol taking place by the table Baekhyun had walked them over to. They simply greeted him and started sending him bowl after bowl of fruit, nuts and sweets. Never had he tasted fruit that sweet or nuts that crunchy. This was the perfect place on earth, had to be. As long as Baekhyun wanted him there, he would never leave and based on the hand resting in his lap, the one with a teasing pinkie that occasionally brushed over the most sensitive part of his body, he was not going to leave anytime soon.

Between mouthfuls of delicious food, his golden boy pointed and explained until all the names were blending together in Chanyeol’s brain, probably also caused by the never empty mug in his hand. At some point he zoomed out and started to watch, feel and just be. He had all the time in the world to get to know everyone.

Not far from their table, a boy was entertaining them with beautiful music. His voice was clear and smooth, the melodies happy and catchy. Song after song filled the air, displaced the noise from too many people gathered in one room. When he listened closer, some of them felt familiar. Where one song painted pictures of fields of grass and cows, another created pictures of children playing, of fireplaces and warm tea.

Memories started flashing in front of his open eyes, familiar faces, well-known places. Suddenly this didn’t feel like home at all, as if he couldn’t breathe. He needed answers, there were too many questions popping up.

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun’s hand squeezed his under the table, the icy blue eyes finding his, making him breathe again. “You’re all tensing up. Don’t you like it here? Want to go home to our place?” His voice was soothing, a warm melody hiding underneath.

“What kind of hulder are you Baekhyun? Why didn’t you come visit, show us you were okay all this time?”

There were so many possibilities, his books told so many different stories. Nothing added up and the questions waited in line.

“Are you going to make me your slave and kill me if I disobey your wishes?”

“What?” The golden boy stiffened, dropped the hand he had been holding so lovingly.

“I’ve read about hulders like that! My books are filled with stories about them. If you can satisfy them sexually, you get your life to keep, unless... “Without finishing his sentence, he searched for some kind of reaction in the others face.

Baekhyun shook his head and chuckled “I don’t know anyone like that around here”, but added “I know there are other forests than our, but except of Jongin, there is very little killing going on.”

“Jongin? The boy who saved me?” Chanyeol’s eyes grew wide.

“I know, so sweet and innocent, but then he shifts to Kai and travel around spellbinding people with his music, and I bet you’ve read enough to know he feeds on souls. If anyone is unpredictable around here, it’s him. One moment he is here, and the next he is far away.”

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Aaagggh, that smile. How would Chanyeol get the answers he needed when Baekhyun smiled like that? To distract himself, he grabbed the soft tip of the tail looping his waist, combed his fingers through the silky bundle of hair.

“You’re a friendly hulder then? Supposed to watch after animals at a farm?”

A hand came up to rest on his cheek, turned his head a little and forced Chanyeol to look him in the eyes again. “Like my mother you mean?”

“What?”

“Aaah, you haven’t done the math yet.” Baekhyun pinched his cheek and continued. “My mother used to be a hulder, but she dropped her tail to stay with my dad. My grandmother did too. You know them. Nothing bad runs in our blood.”

“How about Astrid?” Chanyeol felt confused. “She’s going back and forth? She’s a hulder, I swear I saw her tail.”

“Yes, she’s still looking”

“Looking for what? Why couldn’t you come visit like she does?”

Chanyeol felt so angry. If a hulder could travel like that, live among mortals then why had Baekhyun gone missing like that for years, ruined his best friend’s life?

“I couldn’t go back.” For the first time in their conversation, Baekhyun lowered his gaze.

“I stayed away from the pond for as long as I could. I knew it would suck me under the second I jumped in. I wanted to warn you, or give you a chance to understand why I was going away. I couldn’t stay for autumn and your religious ceremonies. I’m not human.”

Gently his hands were lifted off the tail and Chanyeol felt how tight the other held on to him.

“I couldn’t go back because I already had made someone mine. My only hope was trying to get them here.”

You had made someone your? How do you do that? Who is it?” Chanyeol swallowed. He might had been angry and confused, but he certainly didn’t like the thought of Baekhyun having someone else, someone special.

“You kiss them.” Baekhyun’s expression was soft, his eyes warmer than the usually silver- blue. “When a hulder falls in love, they can tie them together permanently with a kiss. So I did.”

“Who did you love then? Who did you kiss?” Chanyeol stared at the boy in front of him, waiting for an answer that never came.

“Oh!.... Oooooh!”

Chanyeol jumped up from the bench, pushed the tail off, didn’t care that it hit the floor so hard it made Baekhyun hiss in pain. The feeling of betrayal made his brain boil and none of the smaller’s touches could calm him down.

“You made me yours? You knew all along and did all of this just to get me here? Not working Baek, not working. I need to tell my family I’m okay. You understand that?”

It made Baekhyun jump on his feet too. While Chanyeol more yelled than spoke, his voice was dark and serious. “You can’t go back.”

“I’ll swim the way I came, you people go back and forth all the time” “You’re human. I need to take you”

“Then do!”

“I can’t”

“Why? Tell me why Baekhyun, because I don’t understand this. You caused me so much pain. I’m not doing that to my family.”

“Then I can’t come back here” A sigh at the end showed how he was tired of the argument already.

“So that’s it then? I need to stay because you don’t want to go? And it’s your fault in the first place, remember?”

The air stilled around them for a moment.

“Fine, that’s all I needed to know. You’re just as mendacious as the hulders in my books.”

Chanyeol backed off, pushed his way between bodies, eyes glued on Baekhyun, making sure the traitor didn’t dare follow. He let himself disappear in the crowd of partying creatures until he no longer could point out his friend or knew where their table was. Everything was spinning, people pushing him around, all voices blending until it was too much.

Someone suddenly gripped his arm and pulled him into a corner.

“Chanyeol! How nice to see you” Her eyes sparkled and he never knew he actually would be glad to see Astrid again.

“You’re looking a little lost. Here, have this” She shoved a cup of something into his hands and gently tugged at his arm until he sat down next to her.

“I need to go back home to tell people I’m okay. I can’t leave them like this.”

“Aaah. You have had flash backs. Now drink some more, please” She fluttered her eyelashes and smiled cutely at him.

“Whatever” He downed his drink in one go and slammed the cup down on the table.

“I need to go back home, will you take me?”

“I could do that”

“You could? That’s wonderful. When? I’m ready when you are.” Chanyeol was on his feet already, had not a minute to waste.

“Calm down big boy. We haven’t agreed on my payment”

That stopped his movement and made his posture collapse. “Payment?”

Her bright laughter gave him the chills.

“I’ve seen your brother around a lot. I like him”

“Good. Then you might understand how I need to let him know I’m okay.” He held on to his little hope the best he could.

“Not what I had I mind. I’ll help you back if you help me make Sehun mine.”

Panic sets in every bone as her words are starting to make sense. “No, you can’t have that! Not him. How about that cute Kyungsoo-boy, or the oldest brother at the Kim-farm?” She couldn’t have his brother, never. Instead he spat out names of boys he didn’t like too much, or not as much as he liked his brother at least.

“Kyungsoo is cute and all and when I think about it, I could need a cook or a housekeeper, I’m lazy” Her eyes sparkled of ice blue crystals and for a moment it looked like she actually considered the suggestion Chanyeol had made.

“But a girl has her needs and you’re taken. I think your brother would make a nice toy”

He had heard enough. On wobbly feet he pushed past her and back into the chaotic crowd of dancing creatures. There had to be a door somewhere. He needed air but the room kept spinning, laughter surrounding him and making it impossible to escape.

“Psst! Here, this way”

At first he couldn’t point out where the sound came from, but at the “psst” were repeated several times, his eyes finally landed on the black haired boy with the pretty singing voice. The boy pulled him by his wrist, between warm bodies and out a well-hidden door. On the outside they both sank down next to the wall, the boy giving Chanyeol time to catch his breath and to stop his head from spinning.

“Hi, I’m Lay. You are new around here. Human?”

A lot had happened in just a short time and it took a while for Chanyeol to react to the name the boy used. Then it did and his eyes shut open. Without introducing himself or answering the question, he fired away his questions.

“Lay? You... you’re the one who went missing this winter? I thought you were dead.” “I guess I’m that boy, yes”

“Omg! How can you be here when everyone at home are looking for you?”

“Jongin is taking good care of me. I made the decision myself”

“So, you like it here?”

“I was working long days at the farm, it was exhausting. Everything I wanted was to entertain, make music, sing and dance. Jongin gave me that.”

“Wow” Chanyeol had trouble believing what he heard, but after tonight, he understood there was a lot of stuff he didn’t understand.

“I’m curious” the boy continued. “You seemed so out of it. What happened?”

Chanyeol sighed. He wasn’t done organizing all of his thoughts or the happenings yet, but he could try. If someone would listen, he could try. Maybe then it would add up.

Nothing seemed to surprise Lay. He nodded and smiled, patted him reassuringly on the back from time to time. It felt good to tell. His story still didn’t make sense, but he had managed to word it.

“You need to make Baekhyun want to go back with you,” Lay suggested after a while. Chanyeol grunted, messed up his hair with his hands.

”Don’t you think that was my first thought too?”

“I think I know how to”

Lay digged into his pocket and held out his hand carrying a small white amulet.

“Jongin gave this to me. It’s from the other side and it makes you remember. I don’t need it. I’m fine where I am. I gave my soul away, will never be able to return to the mortal world anyway.”

“How will this make Baekhyun take me back?”

“It won’t. But it will make you remember where you came from when you go back to face Baekhyun. Without it, his powers will be too strong, and you won’t remember your plan.”

“Which plan?” Chanyeol didn’t have any plan. Not that he was aware of.

“You need to make him remember and miss stuff from his past, and hulders are quite simple. Give him a taste of something he can’t live without. Make him want to follow you back”

“Good plan. Just one problem. I don’t have anything he want.”

Lay looked at him as if he was about to laugh him in the face. How could he find this funny? This was no plan, at all.

“Believe me, you have.”

The boy let his hand slide down Chanyeol’s chest and stomach, a finger pointing down to his crotch.

“Oooh” Chanyeol blushed. Lay smiled triumphantly and patted his knee. “Told you”

They sat like that for a little more, not talking much, but Chanyeol appreciated the company. Hope started to grow in his chest too. If the amulet did what told, and if Lay’s plan actually worked, then he was going back home in not too long. And Astrid would never get to have his brother. Never!

#exo #chanbaek #exo fanfiction #chanbaek fic #supernatural #supernatural creatures #baekyeol fic

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